#i haven't had much motivation to draw lately so i think i'm just gonna keep drawing silly stuff & have fun with it

[omppupiiras]

say hello to mermaid jere 🧜‍♀️

yeah so, what does it say about me that the first thought that popped into my head when i saw this in a store was "i wanna draw jere as this voluptuous mermaid decoration" 🤔😂

[c0eu4]

I know this one is a little sad but

Do you think you could write one of the drivers finding their gfs self offing note? And one of the thoughts running through his mind thinking that she was introverted but she was always happy?

DR3 | What happened?

danielricciardo x fem!depress!reader

Summary : When Daniel found your suicide note.

Warning : suicide note, depression, fluff, hurt/comfort

A/n : Here, reader is depressed. It includes everything like lack of hygiene, no motivation... Please, do not read this if it can trigger you!

MASTERLIST requests are close

Daniel jumps on you and wraps his arms around you. He attacks your face with kisses, until it takes your breath away and makes you groan in displeasure.

''c'mon babe, get up!'' He told you as he continued his kisses and moved them down to your neck.

''Mhhh Dan! Move!'' You lazily push him away, rolling him onto the other side of the bed. He rolls onto his side, raising his head as he rests his head in his hand. He uses his other hand to clear your face of the few strands of hair hiding your face, tucking them behind your ears. But you push his hand away again and put the hood of your sweater on, then sink back into the blanket, pulling it up to your nose.

Daniel sighs. He noticed that you haven't been feeling well lately. You spend all your time in the bedroom and he has to force you out of bed every morning to take you somewhere. And sometimes he even has to remind you to do simple things like eating. Last meal, he feeds you, almost shoves food into your mouth because you were 'not hungry'.

But the most odd in that, it's that you're like that just with him. Whenever you're at the race with him, with people, you're someone else. You're talkative and the first to initiate the conversation. So he thought you just weren't in good mood because of the winter.

He ends up getting up, mainly because the position he's in is hurting his arm. He opens the curtains and pulls the duvet off of you, making you react.

''Daniel!'' You shouted at him and tried to grab back the duvet but only felt the sheet of the bed. You feel arms wrap around your waist and lift you up so easily. You don't say anything and let yourself do so, while Daniel carries you to force you to stand up.

''C'mon! We said we had to sort the whole house today.'' He rummages through your closet, pulling out an old t-shirt of his and a pair of shorts, then gives them to you.

''Get ready babe, I'm not gonna do this all alone.'' He kisses you tenderly and leaves the room to give you some privacy.

He noticed that too. You both don't do things anymore. He can understand that you need space, but at this point? How long ago was the last time he saw you naked? You don't even remember.

You change lazily, and join Daniel in the kitchen. In front of your usual place on the stool, you find a slightly burnt plate of pancakes, and you can't help but smile softly. He does his best. You know that he knows.

You force yourself to eat your pancakes while Daniel is already starting to sort through the few things lying around in the kitchen. He asks you from time to time if you keep this or that thing. Once your breakfast is finished, you clear your plate and help him sort the kitchen.

Time passes and you clean every room in the house from top to bottom. You decide to finish with the room that will probably take the longest to complete, your bedroom. Daniel digs under the bed, pulling out old boxes full of different things that you didn’t unpack when you moved in. You take care of sorting the wardrobe, folding and rearranging the clothes.

Daniel digs under your side of the bed and finds a small shoebox. He sits on the bed and opens the box, while watching out of the corner of his eye that you aren't watching him do so. He hates doing that, going through your stuff. But your health is starting to worry him so much that he feels the need to do it, to reassure himself.

Inside the box, there are a few papers. He recognizes a drawing that his niece drew for you, and a smile appears on his face. There is a pearl bracelet, the one that a Daniel fan gave you two years ago. He finds a jewelry bag, it's in this bag that he gave you the necklace you wear all the time. He quickly understands that in this box, there are things that you value very much. He recognizes your diary, you write in it every evening and he never thought to look at it. He takes it in his hands and a paper falls out of it. He puts the diary down and opens the paper that was folded in half. He looks at you again, and checks that you are still focused on your task of tidying the wardrobe. He returns his attention to the piece of paper he holds in his hands. This is a text that you wrote. He reads the beginning, and the first words take the smile off his face.

‹‹I want to die.››

Simple, fast and effective.

But it hurts. It hurts more because of the fact that you write it and doesn't talk to him about it.

He doesn't read any further, not wanting to intrude too much into your life and above all, not wanting to put pressure on you.

''Babe, wha-..what is that?'' You turn around with a little smile on your face and one of his hoodies in your hands. But your smile immediately fades away when you see the paper between his hands.

''It's nothing.'' You tell him coldly, snatching the paper from his hands and putting it back in the box then sliding it under the bed. Daniel places a hand on your waist and forces you to turn towards him, despite you trying not to let him. He forces you to sit on his lap and takes you in his arms.

''Don't.. please..'' He hugs you tightly, almost taking your breath away. You feel his breath faster than usual against you and he nuzzles into your neck, running one hand up and down your back.

You wrap your arms around him and rest your cheek against his hair. His scent soothes you, as usual, even if he smells slightly of sweat. But it strangely makes you feel good.

''May I ask you.. why?'' He asks you after long minutes of silence. He continues to hold you close to him, hoping he can get you to talk.

''I...I'm feeling so.. low.'' With each word you say, your voice trembles more. Tears well up in your eyes and you can't help but let them fall down your cheeks. Daniel sits a little further in the bed and this time, he presses your head against his chest while continuing to caress your back.

''It's like.. I don't know. I'm just.. I just feel like nobody understands me.'' You keep crying softly, holding back your sobs. ''Like, whatever I want to do is so hard.. just living is hard.'' Daniel lets you open up and talk to him. It's the first time he sees you like this, sobbing and shaking in his arms.

''I understand you.'' He caress your hair. ''I've been there too. And it was you who got me out of this black hole.'' he kisses your forehead as you look up at him with eyes full of hope.

''Me?..'' You repeat, more tears falling down your face.

''You gave me love, you gave me affection, you taught me to love myself and you gave me confidence in myself again.'' He smiles at you, his own eyes now wet. ''And I'm gonna do the same. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna give you all the love I have in me, I'm gonna show you that you are enough and I'm gonna get you out of this black hole.''

His words make you cry even more and he hugs you tightly, stroking your hair and back to calm you down.

''Everything's gonna be fine. I'm here.. I'm here..'' He kisses your forehead again, determined to get you out of this hell.

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

Hey there! Hekate has pointed me toward your blog and I just wanted to say hi 💞

I do have a question though, have you ever had deities help you with motivation and executive functioning skills? I've got ADHD and the "laziness"(🤢) or what I call "going slug mode" (staying in bed all day, no motivation to shower, etc) really commands my life.

My periods of deity work tend to coincide with my periods of productivity and energy, but I often fall off when, well, everything else falls off. So I guess I'm also looking for advice or at least to connect with someone who's had similar experiences.

(I've also connected with Aphrodite and Loki! Other gods I've worked with in the past are Mother Hathor and Brigid)

First off, I may or may not have had so many feelings upon seeing "Hekate has pointed me towards your blog" because the idea that my blog can be useful enough that a deity would go "go look at what that dude has to say" just brings me so much joy.

Second off, OH THIS IS ABSOLUTELY SOMETHING I SHOULD SCREAM ABOUT THANK YOU. I can't believe I haven't already made a post about this!!

I, too, am an ADHD motherfucker and I have always had so many issues with keeping up with my craft. I will absolutely be calling it "slug mode" from now on, that's the best fucking way to put it. I've had deities help me with executive function at times, but if I'm honest I've forgotten lately that I can ask them for help with that. More often than not it looks more like nudging me towards a task than giving me the energy- but that doesn't mean you can't ask! It just means I forgot I could, lol.

This is gonna be a chonker post, so I'm breaking this post up into two parts; 1, why accepting "falling off" was the best thing I could have done for myself and 2, how to still connect with your craft (and deities) through those times anyway.

So for one, you're not broken or a failure, and your deities fuckin' love you.

Call me philosophical, but hear me out; I've always worked in cycles. Cycles of insane productivity, cycles of tiredness, cycles of hyperfixation on one thing, then another, then another. I'm just someone who works that way, and I've always viewed it as a problem to be fixed. I've always viewed MYSELF as a problem to be fixed, which really started with the school system but that's an unrelated rant. So, apologies for getting a bit intense especially since this may not apply to you personally, but just in case:

You're not a problem. You don't need to fix yourself. The world works in cycles. Seasons, reincarnation if you subscribe to that belief, the water cycle, and a billion other things I've forgotten- working with cycles is just a natural way of going about life that I think shouldn't be forgotten. I have intense periods of growth in my craft, and I have periods where I don't do much and instead play my favorite video game for eight hours straight- and that's okay! One of the best things I did for myself and my craft was give myself permission to do that. I, and you, are not failures as witches for "falling off" and our deities love us anyway. Not in spite of it, either, because of it. They know how to work with the cyclic nature of things; people are no different.

So honestly, there's a chance that none of this will make sense to you- but there's a chance that you, and maybe others seeing this post, might find that giving yourself permission to go through cycles might be the best thing you could do.

Okay, now that I've yelled about that, here's ways that I keep myself connected to my craft and my deities during my less witchy periods.

I give myself permission to use witchcraft for "dumb shit." I have at least one post on this, but witchcraft can BE childish, playful, "dumb-" it doesn't need to be serious all the time. So I'm learning to let go of what I think it should look like and recognize that sometimes the way to stay connected is to lay in bed and draw a sigil on my phone as a mini-spell to manifest a nice little treat or a thing I want in a video game.

This isn't deity work, but it had been huge for me: SIGILS. Sigils my beloved. I don't often have the time, energy, or supplies to do what most people think of when they talk about spells. So instead, if I'm feeling like I could do a spell for something but that's just too much, sigils can be done on my phone or computer while just chilling. Also, if you're like me and a writer, I just write spells too. Literally the same way I write statements for sigils, but a bunch of 'em.

Personally I just talk to my deities. I would like to do this more, actually. You don't need to have a big reason for calling them in, just ask them to sit with you and talk about your day or infodump about a special interest. They're not going to deem it unimportant; you're important to them.

Turn anything into a devotional activity if you want. Any self-care. Not just the typical stuff; I mean food, meds, literally any sort of "maintenance" to keep your body and mind running! If you can't do those, play music you associate with them, or watch a show/play a game and invite them to just sit with you. Whatever you're already doing, you can just ask them to do it with you. If that's literally just laying in bed doing nothing but feeling crappy, I can assure you I've asked them to sit with me during those days too and they've been more than happy.

Literally most of my offerings are just random food. As we speak, I have a little tiny thing with a few sips of soda because I give Loki some when I drink some. If you don't have the time or energy to put it on the altar, literally just drink it with the intention that you're drinking it "for" them. When I did a reading and Kali visited for it, she asked for a graham cracker of all things. It doesn't have to be associated with them. Virtual offerings too! If you can, I've seen people just scroll through pinterest/google images and pick images to offer to their deities.

This might not be something you struggle with, but this is definitely something I would need someone to tell me so: ASK. PLEASE. ASK FOR THINGS. They're not going to riot if you ask for things!! Let them help!! Ask for things, unapologetically if you can muster it!!! I am using excessive exclamation marks for a reason, I swear. My deities are in a constant state of telling me to just ask for things.

Be gentle with yourself. Genuinely, I think one of the best ways to honor your deities doesn't even require them to be there at all; just try not to hate on yourself for being the way you are, because they wouldn't want you to.

Overall, my only advice is just... throw away what you "should" be doing and find out what you LIKE doing. What works for you? It's a hard question to answer, but it gets a lot easier when you start looking away from what "should" work. Your deities are working with you, they wouldn't be working with you if they didn't accept every single part of you. That includes slug mode.

As always, my DM's and asks are open if you have any more questions/just want to connect because being a neurodivergent witch sometimes just feels isolating at times! If you actually read this whole post thank you, I hope some of it helped!!

[nebulous-rain]

Hello! My name is Moriah and I am a junior in high school. I was wondering if I might be able to get your insight on a few questions I have?

I am in my final years of high school and am starting to think about college but I have no idea what I want to pursue. I know I love art, so for a long time I have been thinking about getting an art major or going to an art school.

I’m reaching out because I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR ART and I think you are a very talented artist! I have been in love with your art for so long and I am curious and wondering how you are able to fit drawing into your life?

1.) If you are going to college for art, or went to college for art, what is it like? Do you think going to school for art or having an art major is worth it?

2.) how can I fit art into my everyday life? I’m sure you have work and other things to do in your life so how do you balance it out? (I just want to know how you can draw as much as you do!)

3.) do you do art as a hobby or a career? If it is a hobby how to you balance art, work/school, and home life? If it is a career or part-time career is it an alright source of income?

Thank you so much! And sorry if these questions might seem personal. I just want to know how other artist manage to draw and create their work and still have an adult life. Thanks again, and thank you for being a huge inspiration in my life to create the art I love! Your art means so much to me!❤️❤️ ❤️

i am going to CRY this is the sweetest message ever. i'm happy you found your niche and i'm even happier that i could help inspire that!!! i'm not sure if i'm gonna be able to answer all your questions, but i'll try to squeeze in some possibilities where i fall short:

1) growing up i definitely figured i was going to end up in art school because that's what everyone told me i should go into. but as i got older in high school i was kind of panicking cuz i really didn't want to turn my hobby into a job, and i figured out that i wanted to go into education!

but that's just me- my wife is actually going to college for graphic design sometime soon because she loves what she does. if it's something you really enjoy, and that you think you can monetize while still enjoying it, then it's definitely worth it! money is important but you need to put you and your happiness first.

2) to be honest, i haven't had the time or energy to do much art lately (if you look at my post dates you can see how spread out they've been the past year)- but this entirely depends on how you manage your time and your workload. i'm horrific at time management! so that's my problem. BUT, i think sneaking in drawing time in little ways helps a lot, as i tend to sketch small panels of a potential comic or animatic on notebooks and papers while i'm listening to lectures. i've even posted ms paint doodles i've drawn during class

i always have plans for what i'd like to draw once i have the time. it's kind of motivating, but also frustrating, and it's hard to efficiently empty my brain of ideas while still keeping up with everything else. this might be something you'll have to wiggle around once you get settled into a routine each semester!

3) i really wanted art to stay as a hobby for me. the idea of drawing and creating art every day for things i wasn't inspired to do made me really nervous, because what i really wanted was to make fanart and draw my little guys all day lol

if you take anything away from this, i think the most important thing is that if you want to keep art in your life, you will. if you desire having time to make art just for yourself, you'll find time to work that into your life, one way or another- but in order to do that you absolutely need to have a positive mindset about what you're going into, and if you can't find that positivity, maybe it isn't for you

thank you for asking!!! i'm not sure if this'll be any help, but i appreciate the questions <:')

[elvenbeard]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you so much for the tag and reminder @kharonion! :D Gonna tag @pinkyjulien @humberg @chevvy-yates @theviridianbunny cause I haven't been keeping up with tumblr much lately and would love to know what you're all doing atm if you wanna share 👀

As always, I got way too much stuff at once I'm doing, and apartment hunting is awful and really robbing me of my motivation, so I'm doing a lot of low-brain-effort stuff that calms my nerves at the moment really. Let's see...

VP Stuff

Currently working my way through my "Vince through the years series" :D Two posts out (2067, 2069), one drafted and still needs some text, the others are still a work in progress XD While 2067 was a bit about Vince's home life, 2069 about his transition and time in Kabuki, 2071 is gonna have a focus on Jackie 👀

I should have it ready in a few days :3

Art Stuff

I actually had a little drive to draw something lately :DD working a bit on the comic I teased the other week, slowly chipping away at the lineart, but really enjoying it so far, even though my process is slow!

First page lineart done (for now xD I might go back and fiddle more with it). I am... very tempted to paint the background, but I think I will for once settle for the easy approach and fill in my backgrounds with modified screenshots for this. Cause why tf not xD If professional manga artists can do it, so can I for my silly fancomic!

Writing Stuff

I started chapter 8 of Love is Stored in the Olive Jar and I know it's gonna be a difficult one cause I've really been building up to it and now I got the "you gotta deliver now!!" anxiety XD But I'm still looking forward to finally getting to Mr. B's solution for V's Sun-Ending problem 👀

“So, she got any final words of wisdom?” Kerry asked, fingers gently drumming on the steering wheel. They had swapped cars at home, and with what Rogue had just said now V wondered if it might not have been better after all to use Kerry’s Aerondight to get here… But then again, if shit hit the fan in some way, he didn’t want any unnecessary negative attention drawn to Kerry. “Not really,” V shook his head, “Nothin’ I didn’t think of already at least.” “Told ya so,” Kerry shrugged, pulling out his cigarettes and only paused when he noticed V’s stern stare. “Ah, fuck,” he mumbled and then got out of the car. They had not only swapped cars but changed clothes quickly while they were home. As he slipped from the driver’s seat, Kerry’s wide black bomber jacket rode up briefly, revealing the gun kept in the waistband of his cargopants. “You shouldn’t do that,” V said as he got out himself, “Posers in action films keep their gun in their pants. In the real world that’s gonna get you shot in the ass faster than you think.” V closed the passenger side door with his elbow, flinching slightly at the pain shooting through his shoulder and chest. He took a deep breath, adjusted his own gun holster worn snugly under his coat. “Fiiine,” Kerry sighed, lit cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth, and he put the gun into his jacket’s pockets. Not ideal still, but better. V smiled at him, and then slowly turned to look down the short, narrow side street they were parked in. They were close to the Santo Domingo district border, in the middle of the industrial area at the edges of the city. The location coordinates Mr. B had sent him lay not far ahead. A new, sleek white building, V guessed it around ten stories tall, rose at the center of what he remembered to be factory grounds formerly. It was far from imposing, a little bit lost on the large lot even, but it blended in well with the surrounding corpo complexes. The entire compound was fenced in, V spotted cameras and security turrets near the heavily secured entrance gate. No security staff though, not even mechs or drones, much to his surprise, at least not visibly out in the open.

Modding Stuff

I have a handful of things on the backburner... A very silly t-shirt (the replacer works already, but I wanna make it Archive XL!), band merch, and my custom hand holding poses... but with my anxiety-riddled brain wolvenkit is a bit too daunting at the moment, but I'm really looking forward to continuing all these projects :3

[tallsc]

Control Switch Hiatus

Okay so yeah this is kinda late, since I haven't been doing much of it recently anyway, but I think I should make an actual post of what's going on and what my plans are here -v-'

So a few things have been going on that are slowing everything down to a standstill, including school (I've barely had any time at home where I can draw) lack of motivation (I haven't wanted to draw anything more than sketches for a little bit) and just lack of focus on Deltarune. (as you can probably tell cause I've been doing way too many AvA things-)

However, I would also like to say, none of this is gonna be permanent! My art motivation and interests come and go, and Deltarune has been one of my main obsessions for a while so I'm pretty certain it's gonna come back, it just takes a bit ^-^' And once I get more of a routine with school, I'll be more available and ready to draw.

Now as plans go, before the hiatus is over, I'll try to have a few chapters ready so I can post weekly for a little while and not run out of energy immediately. I'm not sure how asks will work in that time, but I'll keep you updated once the hiatus is done.

And in the meantime, maybe I'll still post some Deltarune stuff or Control Switch side art, and if my AvA stuff (or probably occasional other things, hopefully, idek) is of any interest to you, you can take a look at those!

But yeah, sorry for the lack of updates, but hopefully I'll be back and going soon!

[mdverse]

What are some of your favourite Glee ships and why? I'm thinking like... top five? Or more if you feel like it :)

ooh this is a fun one because anything after my top ship can and will change at the drop of a hat lmao

1: brittana

hopefully this will come as a shock to no one aksdjhfsk,,, brittana is actually a ship i found out about before i watched glee. like i would see all of these compilations on youtube of glee moments out of context, and idk how exactly but it led to seeing clips of brittana. i remember being salty bc some of my friends at the time had seen glee and not a single one of them told me that there was a wlw relationship i would've liked lol.

but yeah there's just something really compelling about getting to see these two girls who start out as background characters with funny one-liners grow into an actual couple that gets happily married in the end. especially because i don't remember really seeing any wlw relationships get any kind of focus or open acknowledgement before brittana? at least not any relationships that lasted more than a couple of episodes? and maybe i just wasn't watching the right shows bc i only started watching glee less than 2 years ago lol but their development on the show, while very flawed thanks to the writers, was just super special for me. and it still is. i have a lot of love for them and even though i haven't drawn much brittana lately, i'd like to think that my love for them shows in some of my older art :)

also? wanting to draw brittana is what got me out of months-long art block and depressive episode where i just did not have any inspiration or motivation to draw anything, and it quickly became the catalyst for so much of the artistic growth i've made over the past almost 2 years. idk if that means much to u guys but to me it really means the world and i don't think i even have the words to explain it asksdhfk i just. i love them a lot.

2: hevans

ok listen to be completely honest, i don't think about hevans that much but once in a while i think about s2 hevans and how that would've been so nice? like,,, s2 sam was so refreshing because he arrived at a time where i was used to seeing the glee boys (finn and puck in particular) being like "oh we get called gay for being in glee club and associating with kurt, a gay kid :( and that's bad :( we don't like the idea of being seen as gay :(" and sam just did not care. he didn't care that singing a duet with another guy might be seen as weird, he didn't care that he might get bullied for it, he just cared that kurt had a lovely voice and he wasn't gonna go back on his promise to sing with kurt. and then we got rumours and kurt not even hesitating to keep sam's secret, even though his friends immediately accused him of cheating on blaine. idk hevans just had this bond in s2 that wasn't explored enough after that, and then sam was dumbed down in s4 and onwards and ugh i miss s2 sam goddammit fuck the writers for turning him into whatever the fuck we got in s4-6

also hevans makes me consider an artist!sam x model!kurt au? like when i drew kurt as the boy with a basket of fruits i could picture sam being a painter and having kurt as his model/inspiration, and i have a second very unfinished wip based on another painting in the same vein. lowkey veering into a picture of dorian grey moment now lol but is that not compelling??? i can't believe i only thought of that just now aksdjhf i love that book,,, also there's yet another painting i'd like to redraw as hevans but who knows when i'll get around to it

3: quinntina

i don't think the writers were ever gonna give us quinntina and idk if there are even many quinntina moments in the show aside from like,,, teeny tiny background moments here and there. also the show butchered them both so i'm not basing this ship in canon at all. i just think they would have an interesting dynamic i guess? popular girl quinn fabray and shy tina cohen-chang possibly wishing they could switch positions for a while because quinn is exhausted from all the pressure she puts on herself and tina wonders what it would be like to be in the spotlight? slowly bonding in glee club because tina realises quinn isn't the bitch tina assumed she'd be, and quinn finds it refreshing to be around a sweetheart like tina? indulging each other's dramatic moments but also keeping each other grounded? the mental image of tina helping quinn dye her hair pink? that time in s6 where we got half a quinntina duet in jagged little tapestry, which for the record, i think would've been a mashup of so far away and ironic? (also, vb au quinntina sharing the brain cells of the friend group?) idk i think it would've been nice and i am once again cursing the writers

4: wildebrams

i don't have much of an actual explanation as to why i like wildebrams because it feels like i haven't seen s4-5 in forever, but iirc their relationship allowed us to see a much softer side to kitty and i really loved that. like,,, kitty being nervous about committing to a relationship but then opening up to the glee club about her feelings for artie? wholesome shit i love it

i can't think of anymore ships rn because i'm not deeply invested in any ships besides brittana but this feels like a solid mini list. i feel like im forgetting a lot of the big ones so feel free to specify any other ships you'd like me to talk about :)

[three-gulons-in-a-trenchcoat]

We Gon' Burn The Whole House Down

words: 1.4k

[Notes: ahhhh it's finally completed! this was actually a prompt I started first, forgot about it, lost motivation, and eventually came back too heh. I am proud of this one though]

Also: I would recommend listening to this song while reading this since it's what the story, as well as the title, is based on. For mobile users, or if the link isn't working, listen to Burn the House Down by AJR thanks!

*This Story Contains Spoilers For Unlocked*

“Keefe was right, you really haven’t decorated your room much.” Sophie glanced up from where she was rubbing Iggy's belly, the small (now blue and green) fluffball letting out a whine of dissatisfaction at her retreating fingers. “I guess I’ve just never had much time to decorate,” she sighed. Tam shrugged,” I guess I can’t complain, my room at Teirgans isn’t that decorated either.” He stared at the papers framed around the room, Keefe had gotten into the habit of giving his friends old pages from his sketchbooks, insisting that they were useless to him in his quest to find memories about his mom. His gaze lingered on a drawing of Luna and Silveny, curled up in the grass together. The mama alicorns head rested on top of her baby’s, both of their eyes closed as they dozed. Currently, the two alicorns were playing in the pastures with his sister. He was sure Wynn and Greyfell were there too.

Faint chatter echoed downstairs. The collective had gathered in Havenfield for another meeting. They've been having a lot of them lately.

Ever since Keefe left.

Sophie cleared her throat, looking away from the pictures. Her body felt heavy.

Tam seemed to notice her discomfort, and he turned to her, his eyes softening, “I’m sure he's alright.” He murmured.

Sophie resumed her scratching, Iggy's grumbling purrs filling the room, “I hope so.” she whispered.

The silence stretched on for a moment before Tam cleared his throat,“ This is a bit awkward isn't it?” he asked.

Sophie looked up, “What do you mean?”

Tam huffed slightly, and Sophie noticed how he shifted in the same spot, so she patted the bed. He hesitated for a moment before sitting down.

“I mean, I know we’re friends, but….” He trailed off.

Sophie understood, “I guess I haven’t been the best at including you and Linh huh?” she said.

It felt weird, she knew Tam, and she knew they both considered each other friends but, they barely talked to each other outside of Blackswan stuff, or when all of them were hanging out together.

Tam was only up here because he asked to see Keefe's artwork.

Tam nodded, “It’s partially my fault,” he grimaced, “If I hadn't joined with the Neverse-”

“Don’t say that.” Sophie said firmly, her eyes meeting his, “We all know it wasn’t your fault.”

Sophie knew he didn’t believe her. His eyes betrayed him. Unfortunately, she knew that guilt all too well.

The silence was back, and thicker than it was before.

“Have you ever listened to music?” Sophie found herself blurting. Her face ran hot, wishing she could take the words back. Of course, he could you idiot, her mind reprimanded, his family literally does that for a living.

Tam opened his mouth.

“Human music,” Sophie added quickly.

Tams mouth closed, “No, I haven't.��

“Do you want to?” Sophie offered.

Tam cocked his head, his eyes skittered around the room, “How?” he asked dumbly.

Sophie sat up, walking over to her dresser. She crouched down, reaching into the bottom drawer. It's not like it was illegal to have human items, In fact, the collective and Councilor Terik knew she had kept some human things with her when she came to the Lost Cities, but you could never be too sure.

She withdrew, holding her iPod and some earphones, “With these.”

Tam blinked as she walked back over, sitting down and plugging the earphones into the jack. He stared at the iPod curiously as Sophie turned it on.

“It’s human obviously,” Sophie explained, tapping the screen and opening her music. She smiled softly, it had been so long since she had listened to any of her songs.

“Are they human artists?” Tam asked, peering over her shoulder to look at the screen.

Sophie nodded, “A lot of human music is stored in this app so that people can listen to it from anywhere.”

Tam's eyes flashed with understanding, and Sophie handed him an earbud. He stared at it.

Sophie giggled slightly, pointing to her ear, “In here.”

The tips of his ears turned slightly red, and he looked down, “Right.” he mumbled sheepishly, placing the earbud in his ear slowly.

Sophie scrolled to her most recent playlist (recent meaning a couple of years Ago) and clicked on her most recent play.

She had only found this band when she was bored and homesick, scrolling through her recommended.

The song started almost immediately, and Tam’s brow furrowed, trying to understand the language.

Used to keep it cool

Used to be a fool

All about the bounce in my step

“It's in a human language,” Sophie explained.

Watch it on the news

Whatcha gonna do?

I could hit refresh and forget

Trumpets started in the background, following the beat of the song, and Tam relaxed slightly, “That kinda sounds like one of the instruments my mother uses.”

Granted, Sophie could understand the lyrics just fine, but she knew Tam couldn't. Even so, he seemed to like the beat as the song progressed, and she smiled lightly when she saw his head bobbing along with the music.

She noticed the song fading slightly, and her mood lightened, she had always been a fan of beat drops in songs, especially these ones.

…..Is that right?

The trumpets sang faster as the tempo picked up, and Tam's eyebrows raised slightly.

Lose

My

Mind

The beat dropped, and Tam's mouth gaped slightly. Sophie laughed softly at his expression. She had to admit when she had first listened to it, she had a pretty similar reaction. There was something about the distant drums and the background bass that really tied the whole song together.

We gon' burn the whole house down

Tam smiled, glancing up at Sophie, “What are they saying?” He asked, and Sophie noticed his foot tapping her carpet to the rhythm as well.

Sophie quoted the lyrics as they faded out, “We gon' burn the whole house down.”

Tam snickered, “Are humans a bunch of arsonists or something?”

Sophie laughed, “Some maybe, but these lyrics have a different meaning I think.”

Tam glanced down at the iPod, which was flashing lyrics, but not in a language he could understand.

Sophie was no singer, but she did want Tam to understand the song, so without meaning too, she began to quote the song as it continued.

“…Gawking at the tricks up your sleeve,” She said it quietly, and Tam looked up

“Are those the lyrics?” He asked.

Sophie nodded, continuing, “Too good to be true, But I'm in a room, Full of entertainers and thieves, Used to let it go.”

The trumpets picked up again, and Tam must have realized that the beat was about to drop again because he followed Sophie’s words slowly.

“Woah no,” Sophie smiled, moving her head in time with the lyrics as Tam copied her.

The two had turned to face each other, with Tam slowly mouthing the lyrics (A little bit off time-wise, but Sophie didn't blame him) And Sophie nodding along.

“Way up way up we go, been up and down that road, way up way up oh no,-” Sophie started.

“We gon' burn the whole house down.” A large grin broke out on Tam’s face, and Sophie found herself smiling with him. She had never heard him sing before, and it sounded nice. His voice was smooth and drifted slowly, almost like he was whispering the words instead of singing them.

They finished the song like that, with Tam slowly learning the repeating lyrics and timing and Sophie helping him out occasionally.

The song finished loudly, with the beat dropping one last time as the riff slowly faded out.

The grin stayed on Tam's face as he glanced back at the iPod.

“That was…nice.” He murmured, and Sophie gazed at him.

“I listen to human music sometimes, when I want to remember my old home.” Sophie said, looking down at the iPod, “Dex fixed it up so it's powered by sunlight too,”

Tam nodded, and he glanced back up, looking sheepish, “Are there maybe..more songs by them?”

“AJR?” Sophie questioned.

“Is that what they're called?” Tam asked, then nodded quickly, “Yeah, them.”

Sophie smiled, clicking right below the song and opening up the band's full list, her eyes widened slightly, “There are more since I last listened to them.” She said.

“How many?” Tam asked, leaning over.

“About 60.” She murmured.

Tam shrugged, and then he smirked, “Can we listen to all of them?”

Sophie smiled back, laughing slightly, “Sure.”

[smolcinnamonchipmunk]

I'm tired, it's been a while since I've made an original post, but I'm just gonna rant a little about my interest in vore and roleplaying, and basically my interests in general.

I DESPERATELY want to like it more than I do. Like, I still love it, but I'm not nearly as motivated for any of it: drawing, writing, roleplaying. I don't know whether it's just cause I've grown or what, but I used to LOVE roleplaying. As in, leap for joy a bit in my seat that someone was interested in building these collab stories with me. Even better, when I roleplay I want to make stuff ABOUT that roleplay, which cycles into art that leads to more roleplays, etc. And it was sooo good.

I don't know. Maybe my standards are too much? Maybe I came across one two many doucheknobs that ruined it for me? I dunno. I really started losing steam about five years back when I deleted my old DA and my old Tumblr, things I'd cultivated over years and had a following on. And, when I decided to come back, obviously I had to start from scratch. But no one used DA as much, Tumblr is weird for roleplays, and I definitely don't feel comfortable on Twitter with this stuff. It feels far less interactive than before and it makes me think I'm doing something wrong. (I know I'm not, there's just that anxiety)

I've also just become tired and worn down in general, not including recent events. I want to do so much, but it never amounts to anything, and by the time I'm done with everything that has to be done, I have no time for anything I want to get done. And I KNOW this is common for everyone, I know I'm not the first or last person to feel like this, but it still sucks to have less interest in things than you used to. At this point, the most I do is read whatever little fics I can and imagine everything in my head because trying to write it coherently or even keep it in my mind enough to write is difficult. It's easier to word vomit my feelings out than it is to form a satisfactory roleplay response, roleplay prompt, oneshot, etc.

I put a lot of the pressure on myself as well. Everything I write or draw HAS to match my own standards in the cliche of being my own worst critic. Can't just sketch vore or anything anymore, it HAS to be a finalized piece. Oh, I have spelling mistakes in my writing? I should never touch a keyboard again. I haven't responded in more than three days? Well, it's too late now, time to never talk to them again.

Like I said, I know it's common, I just needed to angrily rant for a moment or two.

TLDR; Not happy with my motivation or work.