#i havent had to do tags like this in sooo long girl help

[neptunite-stars]

OH I HAD A FUCKING CRESCENDO IDEA (FOR THISE WHO SIMPLY DO NOT KNOW :tm: ITS OUR ENSTARS RP GROUP EHEH)

MAGICAL GIRL AU

imagine

CRESCENDO but something like Yuki Yuna is a Hero which i TOTALLY forced you to watch

the heros are the members of the “hero club” or some sort of idolistic club and they go around and sing and dance for everyone else but the main premise of the club is to find sacrifices worthy for “god”—whoever that may be. So when Crescendo’s first mission begins, they freak out.

Kiyama, although excited, has never been beyond this side of the world. Where the gods lay. His flower may be something like… a sunflower, and his weapon being a polaram or breakers or something like that. something with high mobility.

Miharu is given something like. a daisy maybe? (wasnt able to find anything on masking) and their weapon is maybe something defense-related.

Kirina’s flower is a white lily. Since Kirina expresses herself through dance her weapon might be something like a fan or some sort of leg brace based on kicking

Sato’s flower is a lilac, since Sato (i think) values family and close bonds. maybe their weapon is something based on chanting and bringing things together— like the vines itsuki has

Katsu’s flower is a Strelitzia since they symbolize a free spirit. Maybe Katsu’s weapon is a straight up electric guitar or a gun of some sorr

Shion’s flower is a white rose, my gay ass loves to focus on shion’s split between her unit and crescendo, since she can only focus on one after the events of ykyk.

Anyways with these, this idol group is tasked with the duty of protecting the world against the “Vertexes” or the wrath of the gods against humanity.

Hehe what do you think so far?

HI. I GO INSANE OVER CRESCENDO. HIIIIIIII I LOVE THEM SO MUCH DID U GUYS KNOW THAT. ANYWAY I WROTE A LOT IT GOT A BIT LONG SO. MORE RAMBLING UNDER THE CUT ^_^

@twowink @lycanthian @shards-of-brilliance @crooked-corvid hope u dont mind me tagging yall but its ur lil guys (gender neutral)

also im sorry i never got around to watching it o7 i think i accidentally closed the tab for it while doing a tab cleanup KLJHFKJSHDKFJ

also FUCK YEAH . MIHARU WITH DEFENSE. GOD. IM INSANE ABOUT THAT. IVE ALWAYS IMAGINED THEM TO BE LIKE . A PROTECTOR OF SORTS. YKNO . LIKE THEYRE CHILL BUT THEYLL ALWAYS HAVE UR BACK AND AOUR(ITDIFYGSDLIFUGSDFLKJG they have a shield and they most definitely have a helmet that they sometimes wear because im all for the "masking" and "putting on a different face" thing they have going on (if this is how you learn about this then. there u go! altho it seems i alr told you about it mostly . yeah i think i did say somehting about that) anyway. miharu sooo has paladin vibes. hgrhgh

i think kiyama (or katsu) should have gauntlets. they deserve to punch people. altho an entire electric guitar is SICKKK anyway kiyama probably would have Some armor (probably leather) on his upper body bc . hes gonna be in the middle of all these weapons ykno. he needs to be at least somewhat flexible and light on his feet right? hm. i dunno . kiyama and katsu are difficult to think about for this. katsu definitely has some lightning effects going on. That will stay.

SHION. I DIE IMMEDIATELY. OAURGHHRGHGRHGJHRGJRHG ourhg. she'd be probably one of the ones dealing dmg too. give em a sword ^_^ classic fighter. also im putting them in a skirt u cant STOP ME. oh if u havent caught on EVERYONE IS GETTING SOME ARMOR. YOU CANT STOP ME. magical girls outfits with just frills and fabric be damned. I NEED TO PUT SOME METAL ON THEM I NEED TO MAKE THEM KNIGHTS (no not en.stars knights sorryy still love them tho ^_^) GOD. IM INSANE. MAGICAL KNIGHTS WITH FLOWERS??!?!?? OUHGHHHH

heheh ok time for kiri~~ she definitely has high mobility!! aaa implementing her dancing ability into her fighting style!!!!! i think shed try to learn how to fight using a halberd at first but she finds it awkward to move around with and then she (or sm1 else helps) comes up with the idea to do what shes used to: dancing. if shes so used to moving gracefully without holding heavy things then why doesnt she just. do that ? !!!! anyway im putting her hair into a high ponytail as we speak. although im having difficulty in imagining her in armor. ill work on that.

satoo waaaa so theirs would kinda be like. immobilizing enemies? kinda?? ough interestingggggg i think their armor would be relatively light (like kiyamas) but im thinking maybeee . ok i lost the thoughts dammit its hard to think about things for sato too :((

tldr i need to draw them all. specifically i need miharu in flowy fabric and armor. with flowers. and a shield. FUCK now im thinking about hades im sorry (i am crazy ok)

[hohoz]

Lightning Returns : A

Hoperai game

I saw a few posts before playing the game saying that this is a Hoperai game (and how right you were) !!!

Okay, so I have an idea to write every moment that they have as soon as possible,because I'm starting to forget, so after I play I'll be posting the notes that I have here in my Iphone.

Obs: English is my third language*, please be aware of that when you see a mistake :v

By the way guys, both of them werent supposed to have feelings, a few moments in the game Light admits that she is unable to feel anything and that god probably made that to avoid any future problems/Hope is like this as well, but STILL, they demonstrate care for each other. (Later we talk about Lumina and Bhenivelze)

And another thing that gets me intrigade is how come there is not many post about LR here in the hoperai tag ? This game is amazing !! (like, it does have a few times that you get annoyed, but in general is amazing)

First moment: Okay, this is a simple one, after Lightning crash the Patron's party, she refers to Hope as "Mr Hope Estheim", hell yeah. (This is how she is goint to call him in bed) THIS HAPPENS IN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES IN THE GAME, I do believe that this happens because she still doesn't fell really connect with him, its been sooo long since they were together in FFXIII, that she might think that Hope may not like her anymore, so she really is formal here.

Second: (Well, after I went to ark and saw a younger hope I was frustated, nevertheless, its possible to interact with Hope, he explains that he will be there to help us in this task and that he is in his younger body but doesnt know why.

Third: The loading screen saying that she sees Adult!Hope as an equal (Hell yeah) and I think this is quite nice, because Lightning would never engage a relationship if she doesnt see that special someone as a person beneth her, she is a woman of huge morals and we see that she belives that men have to be amazing (this is using her approval on Snow as info, where she said she would never giver her blessing if he was someone that didnt deserve)

Fourth: if you get hurt and dont use any potion Hope will say that he's worried.

Fifth: Welllll, this one I simpled loved, when we have to get fireworks for the play and Lightning is forced to say "Meow Meow Choco Chow" to Chocolina and Hope is listening and tease her.

"Something tells me you're not enjoying this as much as I am"

Sixth: ( mental note - I would pay for hear Hope complimenting her looks on that red dress - WTF WATANABE, WHY HAVENT YOU DONE THIS ???? ) but the fact that he was manipulated by Benivelzhe might have been the reason, because if he been himself (100%himself all them at that time, oh boy, he would fall from the ark -- I know that I would)

Note: Okay, so there is a cutscene where we see Hope, Snow and Noel deciding to save the world after the chaos spread, and Hope is an adult here, I wonder that happened --- Btw, I finished the game and Still dont understand clearly what happened to Hope, I know that there is a Dlc in FFXIII-2 that I havent played (it is in this DLC that adult!Hope see Lightning in Vahalla ?)

Seven(THEIR DAUGHTER): this is not a nice one, because after we see Vanille, Hope ask of her to Lightning and she tease him with something like "Someones got a crush" BUT not long after that we get a HUGE moment where Eclair is worried about the plan (where she will play a role in front of a crowd and it might fail) and Hope basically quotes her saying "Its not a question of can or cant" and then she asks if he is going to watch her back (PLEASE NOTE THAT THE GAME DOESNT SHOW HER FACE IN THIS MOMENT, I WONDER WHY ????? WE ALWAYS SEE HER FACE ON THE INTERACTIONS WHY IN THIS ONE WE CANT ??? ITS BECAUSE SHE IS WAITING FOR HIS ANWSER ??? I WAS NOT READY FOR THAT)

And guys, even tho Hope is there to assist the player to finish the game and keeps saying what we have to do (And I find this utterly annoying) they have some incredible casual talk, like, "I dont care if the whole world hates you Light, i'll be by your side"

Lumina cutscene

THAT WAS SUPER GOOD, HOLYYYYY.

Well, in one of the interactions with Lumina where she is trying to convince us that Benivelzhe is manipulating us with a Fake Serah, Lightning starts to belive her and gets really mad at her god saying that she was building a contigence plan and is willing to kill Bhenivelze, until Lumina says that Hope is a fake too...

Lightning reaction... DAMNNN

And then Lumina asks

"Would you be able to kill Hope if you need ?"

Lightning close every glimpse of feeling and answer:

"Do you think im not ?

Lumina is so clever that she reads her in a instant and starts to laugh --- BTW, Lumina is nothing but another part o a whole, she is Lightning aswell, WHY WE HAVE THIS REACTION by her part ?? (hehe)

Lumina says : "Answering a question with another question"

That was so good, after this we can interact with Hope but Light never says anything about him being a fake, but still he says that if she wants to betray god he will follow her no matter what. (Guys, do you understand that he is saying that if she want to go in a suicide fucking mission he will go with her ???? AGAIN)

And then, the last day finally arrives, we are going to Luxerion but before we leave the ark Hope says:

"It really feels like the end now. Soon it will be over now"

Lightning then anwser

"Its been dying for 500 years"

His tone of voice slightly change

"I wasnt talking about the world..."

"Then what?"

He accept that is not the time.

"Nevermind. Time is short. Every minute counts, lets no waste any"

BTW IN THE SAME ARK MOMENT, if you ask about Serah being stuck in the chaos (considering that all souls go to chaos after dying) Hope promises that if he dies, he would find a way to save Serah's soul...

(YOU HAVE TO LOVE A LOT A WOMAN, IF YOURE WILLING TO SAVE HER SISTER'S WHILE BEING DEAD - RIP HOPE)

FangxVanille moment in the cathedral (I know that this is my Hoperai post, but that was lit )

Hope (God Mode) I kind knew that he was going to be used by Bhenivelze as a vessel because I saw a few spoilers, but there is one thing that I dont understand --- WHY THE FUCK NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING WHEN THEY SEE HOPE ?? THEY WERE FRIENDS FOR FUCKING SAKE--- Even when is just Fang in the wildlands, Hope and her NEVER interact, she doesnt it even bother to ask " who are talking to Lightning in the phone?"

And finally the ending, Lightning defeat the evil god of light, and is willing to be the new Etro taking care of the darkness flow, but there is something here, a moment where she sees fake Serah and Lumina, and we discover that God never took her feelings, that was always her, she had shut down her feelings a long time ago to become stronger

Note: In the middle of the game we see that she is willing to die, and if you see the loading screens you see the same info.

And she fuse with Lumina, and after all the things she heard from fake Serah she is scared... Her feelings that she always repressed was back to her and she felt alone, darkness consuming her and there is tears, so many tears until...

"Hope : I can hear you Light "

FINALLY, FINALLY, the one who saves everyone was saved, he sacrificed his chance to be born in the new world with his parent, to save the woman that he lovessssss

I dont know what to say, this is just a bunch of notes of me bamblimg some things, but im so glad that she was saved, that she didnt feel scared, that he came back for her.

There is that quote from FFXIII where Vanille talk about Eclair.

"When the fear sank in, it tore us apart. Lightning was hurting but none of us could see it"

This is different now, he can see it, he knows that she was scared, that she deservs to be saved and loved, that she needs someone to watch her back !!!!

Hoperai is kind of Canon and I loved thst ending, most amazing CGI ever.

Side quests: I know that with the timer this game gets a little trick with the side quest, but there is some random moments here.

But these called my attention

Olga, the singer

I've encountered a quest about a woman looking for her lover, and we learn that she is a singer but cant sing without the lyrics of the man she loves , after we find him we complete the quest, there will be a song (requested by Lumina) and I saw Hoperai all over it, okay, Light says "Serah loved this song" but the lyrics were all about Hope and Light.

Btw, I can totally see mama Farron singing this to their daughters, and Lumina kind is Lightning, so she knows that this is her favorite song aswell.

The one that we have to find the special flower for the chocoboo

Ha, who would say that we would be hearing that Lightning sucks at cooking ? Well, she admits that the only thing she knows how to cook is Beheamoth steak in a campfire

And we get to hear she trying to talk to her chocoboo saying "Kweh Kweh" such lovely moment and Hope was hearing everything

Gordon Gourmet

Well, this quest has and amazing ending, like super wow, after we taste the the gourmet recipe Lightning is amazed, she says that is probably the best thing she ever ate, so, Hope got curious and they start a conversation: (my memory is not great, but it goes like this)

Hope: That food is that good ?

Lightning: Do you want me to pack some for you?(such a wonderful waifu)

Hope: No thanks, but sometime I want to taste something made by you

Lightning: Well, Im not the best chef... I never spent much time in the kitchen, but if you like, I do a Behemoth steak by the campfire that is really good.

(This is the SECOND TIME in the game that she says that she can cook Behemoth) 😂

Chocoboo clothes

After a lot of "Chow chow choco chow" we win a nice outfit from the Chocoboo girl, Hope got a little bit excited and says that she must look really good on it, they have a nice conversation after.

Adornments

Hope jokes that Light should wear a lot of endornemts, to attrack more people to save.

Here we see that Light is pretty humble when people say that she is beautiful, she doesnt see herself as the perfect looking woman that she is.

Sazhs quest / Kid who always steals shit from us

I like this moment for a reason, thoose quests make Hope and/or Light relate to their situation, I will make a super post about this later and this is pretty important.

After Sazhs quest, in Ark Hope stops Lightning and revels a little bit about his situation with his father and how he was raised, Lightning stands quiet and just listen.

After we see a kid (the little shit who steals from us) and deliver the letter from his father, Lightning says how hard was for her to lose both of her parents, Hope just listen.

Soooo, this is it, I loved the game (hope you loved too), I still feel that Watanabe was not brave enough, he could made Hope an a adult in the thirdy game and put some scenes where he save her with a KISS (FRENCH PLEASE) but he made Tracer of memories to make more clear that Hope really have feelings for her and that she is going after him in the new world.

Note : im making a super post about them and I just want to thank this amazing tag/fandom, I know that this game is old and not so many are here now, but you all left soo many good things here and im really thankful.

[mental-health-advice]

Submission from Blue Girl

(Tag with blue girl) I’ve been having a really hard time mentally. I got my first job ever about two weeks ago. I had to do it because I need to sponsor my parents so they can get their u.s. green card and I need to be making a certain amount of money yearly.

But I’m so mentally exhausted. I basically work alone most of the time at my job and I have to do sooo much work and most of the time I’m working 8 hour shifts. And the worst part is that I’m not properly trained to my job so most of the time I just lost and it’s frustrating. My manager seems to not like me I think. I mean i don’t like her.

But anyways, my anxiety has been horrible lately. I’m anxious all the time, i have trouble sleeping. I stopped going to therapy a while ago (voluntarily but not the best choice). And I have no one to talk to about things. I feel like I’m going to explode. I’m so stressed. I planned on going to college. And I decided to take a gap year last year but now I don’t know if should wait another year because I don’t think I can handle it. I suffer from depression and anxiety and I can feel myself slipping back to old habits. I’m 2 and a half year self harm free but I found myself ready to hurt myself the other day. I havent had that urge in so long and you have no idea how shitty it felt knowing that I’m slipping back into my bad habits. I don’t want to. But I can’t quit because I need this job to help my parents. I don’t want them to get deported. I have a little sister and I can’t imagine having to be separated from them. They mean the whole world to me but I just feel so overwhelmed. My parents never asked me to get a job but I know it had to be done to help them.

I feel like my world is just crashing down. I never thought that it’d be easy but this is so much harder than I thought it’d be. I just don’t know what to do. People always say to put your mental health first but I have to think about my family. I can’t just quit. But what else can I do? I’ve tried meditating but that hasn’t really helped. I’ve thought of seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist again but that’s time consuming. Time I can use to spend at home because I’m tired all the time. But I think about my anxiety and it’s never been this bad. I don’t know how to cope! Would medication even work? You can never really know.

It’s times like these when I just want to be a little girl again and not have to worry about these types of things. I feel so alone with my thoughts and it’s not doing me any good. I’ve tried distracting myself in different ways but it’s just repressing the feelings. What I want is to be able to tone them down and not have to repress them. But I suppose that won’t happen unless my mind magically decides to stop torturing me, or I go on medication or something?

I hate my job, but I have to deal with it. It just makes me sad that I think about killing my self everyday. But I know that I can’t do it because I have to help my parents. I can’t do that to them. I have to think of my little sister too. She’d lose them if they got deported. I’m just tired. I didn’t mean for this to get this long but I guess that just shows how much is I haven’t been able to get out, yet there’s still so much more I’d like to just get out. 

Hi darling,

I’m so sorry to hear that things have been so hard for you! I can imagine that you don’t feel like you can quit this job as it can have really serious consequences if you don’t make enough money. Two weeks is a very short time since starting a job and those first few weeks at a job can be so tough! Especially if you haven’t been trained very well. Sometimes it clears up after a while when you get used to the job more and you know a bit better what you need to do during shifts and aren’t so lost anymore, but sometimes it continues to be as hard. I truly hope that it’s gotten a bit better for you and that it feels more doable now. 

It’s absolutely amazing that you’ve been self-harm free for two and a half years! It’s understandable that during tough times the urges to self-harm come back a bit, but you’ve beat them once before and you can totally beat them again! When struggling with urges to harm yourself, it can really help to use alternatives. Depending on the underlying reason behind the urge, different alternatives can be helpful. For example, if the urge comes forward from some need to feel pain, you could get a bunch of ice cubes and hold those to where you feel like harming yourself. The extreme cold gives a similar sensation and it can help reduce the urge. We have a page listing a lot of alternatives, a video with physical alternatives and a video with emotional alternatives. Distractions can be of great help too, as these keep you busy until the urges pass naturally. We have a page and a video with those as well. Last but not least, you need to feel enough motivation to fight against the urges. It can help to compile a list with reasons not to harm yourself, so that when you feel a bit short of this motivation you can look through the list. We have a page with reasons not to harm yourself as well that you can use for inspiration for your own personal list.

You’re right however that distractions are a way of repressing your feelings. Personally I sometimes feel like this is necessary to cope, as I don’t always have a way of dealing with my feelings well. So even though in an ideal situation I wouldn’t be using distractions, at some times it’s a better alternative than facing my feelings and then not being able to handle them so resorting to self-destructive behaviour. If the same applies to you then it’s perfectly fine to resort to distractions sometimes! 

It’s more than okay if you feel like you need another year (or more) before going to college! There’s no pressure whatsoever, regardless of what you might hear around you. It’s so worth it to focus on getting better mentally first before going to college. It’s entirely your decision, no one elses! 

I think medication would indeed be a good option for you! In advance you won’t know whether the medication you start with will help you. It definitely is worth trying out though. It might take some trial and error to find one that works for you, as everyone is different. Sometimes it’s only a matter of changing the dose, sometimes you need to switch to another medication to see if that one works. Besides medication I also think it would be good to get back to therapy. While it indeed takes up time, you can decide for yourself how often you would like to go. That way you have more control over how much time it takes up. And while it does take up time, time that you’d prefer to use resting, eventually this time spent is going to help you manage everything a bit better, so that in the future you will have more energy after working. So I’d really strongly recommend you to get back into therapy! You don’t have to do this all by yourself lovely <3 

We have an anxiety page series that you might like to check out. There could be some helpful tips on there that can make it slightly easier for you as well. 

Last but not least, maybe it would be good to look into other jobs? The job you have right now is so exhausting for you and perhaps there are jobs that would be a bit less exhausting! If you can replace your current job with a less exhausting job, you are still earning enough money but you can manage everything a bit better. I hope this helped!

Sometimes what seems impossible, is just hard.

Keep fighting beautiful <3 Love Pauline

[wayward-marvel-sommer1196]

Tag Game

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

Tagged by @kdfrqqg It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these lol. I wasn’t even in the SPN fandom the last time I did one. 

1. Drink? Pepsi

2. Phone call? My dad

3. Text message? My sister

4. Song you listened to? Say You Won’t Let Go by: James Arthur (literally gives me goose bumps every time I listen to it.) 

5. Time you cried? 4th of July (Don’t ask) 

6. Dated someone twice? No, I’ve only ever had one REAL boyfriend and a bunch or near misses

7. Kissed someone and regretted it? Never kissed anyone 

8. Been cheated on? Nope

9. Lost someone special? Yes 

10. Been depressed? Yes, like all the time 

11. Favorite colors? Purple, Blue, and recently Red 

In the last year, have you… 15. Made new friends? Yes

16. Fallen out of love? Love-love no, semi-love yes 

17. Laughed until you cried? I dont think I’ve ever laughed til i cried??? Laughed until my stomach hurt sure but not til i cried 

18. Found out someone was talking about you? Unfortunately 

19. Met someone who changed you? Yes, not in a good way 

20. Found out who your friends are? 100% yes I love my girls so much

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list? No one that wasnt in like a family matter 

General 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? a solid 97% only because some are family that ive never met. 

23. Do you have any pets? No Dad hates pets, but do babies count? because they are equally as frustrating and I live with two under the age of 3.

24. Do you want to change your name? yes too many jokes and annoying nicknames

25. What did you do for your last birthday? Got my hair done, had some pudding cake, and went to Iguana Mia for a free lunch with my mom and her boyfriend and then binged Gilmore Girls b/c mom didnt feel well so we went home and did nothing after like 2. 

26. What time did you wake up? 7:30 because of the babies I live with but didnt get out of bed till 8:15

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? On here actually 

28. Name something you can’t wait for: Graduating College but that ties with Getting Married 

29. When was the last time you saw your mom? a few weeks ago?? I know im horrible but her work schedule is all over the place and my life is so unpredictable but i do try and talk to her every other day. 

31. What are you listening to right now? My family messing around 

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yes

33. Something that is getting on your nerves? my job not giving me shifts and my step nephew with his lack of respect for adults 

34. Most visited website? Tumblr

35. Hair colour? Dark brown with a tint of burgundy because I havent gotten it dyed since december (my bday) and red washes out real fast but leaves subtle traces especially in the sun

36. Long or short hair? As of now on the shoter side, like shoulder length, but if you would have caught me a month ago it would have been hella long got 10 inches cut off 

37. Do you have a crush on someone? As of now NO because my last crush stomped on my heart and crushed then ran it over with a semi so I have sworn off men unless celebrities count????

38. What do you like about yourself? Honestly, right now nothing thats one of my issues. BUT if I had to pick I guess my loyalty??

39. Piercings: just your standard, run of the mill ear piercing 

40. Blood type: 0+

41. Nickname: Don’t have one because I refuse to share what my mom called me throughout my childhood. So i just go my full name Sommer

42. Relationship status: single and hating men 

43. Zodiac: Sagittarius 

44. Pronouns: She/Her

45. Favourite tv show: UGGGHHH too many. SPN, most superhero shows, most crime dramas, Greys Anatomy, and more. I used to be a tv addict and started watching a bunch of shows and although i dont watch them much anymore doesnt mean i dont still love them

46. Tattoos: Yes, on my right foot. Its part two to a quote that me and my sister got together. “....but thankful for the one ive got.” she got “A perfect sister i am not.....” 

47. Right or left handed: Right

48. Surgery: If getting my wisdom teeth taking out (all four of them at once) counts then yes other than that no.

49. Piercing: Already answered 

50. Sport: None, I suck at all sports and hate them all too. I was and am more of a book person than a ball person, but I do enjoy a leisure swim on occasion

51. Vacation: Would love to take one but im broke. My last was a high school trip right before i started my senior year where we traveled through five states making stops in each until we ended in indiana for the convention we needed to go to and then came back.

52. Pair of trainers: don’t know what this means

53. Eating: I wish I was lol My dinner sucked ass. Man, I wish I had a nice juicy steak right now with a baked potato and asparagus yum 

54. Drinking: at the moment nothing but the last thing I drank was at like 2 pm and now its almost 10 (oooppps) and that was a mocha coffee from DD

55. I’m about to: take a shower then outline some god damned stories that are haunting me right now 

56. Waiting for? something good to happen in my life for once 

57. Want? To be prettier, but I am slowly losing weight which is helping that problem. OOOOHHH and my best friends to be with me right now

58. Get married? I would love to at some point. Not anytime soon, but I also have to find someone who can put up with my difficult moody ass for the rest of our lives sooo..... that could be awhile

59. Career? Now none after college hopefully a forensic scientist/CSI since that is what my degree is going to be in

60. Hugs or kisses? Bith

61. Lips or eyes? On an S/O eyes hands down on me i guess my eyes

62. Shorter or taller? On an S/O taller I guess I have a type lol a bit of a height kink. On me shorter im only 5′2

63. Older or younger? Older although if it was only like 2 years younger Ii would be cool with that just not any further 

64. Nice arms or nice stomach? These questions are so superficial and I feel superficial for answering them but I guess in a S/O stomach on me I have neither soo...

65. Hook up or relationship? Relationship, im a sappy sappy romantic at heart a hook up is too impersonal and so crass I want the feelings 

66. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

67. Kissed a stranger: No

68. Drank hard liquor: Being that I am only 19 I’m legally obligated to say no, but my oldest sister is a horrible influence so I may have had a taste a few times 

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No but I have lost a retainer, twice, in the garbage. Yeah my parents werent to happy with me 

70. Turned someone down: Depends? for a date no. for anything havent we all. sex never been offered.

71. Sex on the first date: Virgin, so no and I’ve only had one real boyfriend that wasnt really a relationship anyway so yeah

72. Broken someone’s heart: I want to say no, but I guess I have not in a relationship way but you can break anyones heart for any nimber of reasons

73. Had your heart broken: Hell the fuck yeah but so many damn people 

74. Been arrested: No, close once but the store guy let me go on a warning

75. Cried when someone died:  Yes, doesnt everyone unless the deseased is like an axe murderer or something

76. Fallen for a friend: Ugh this question. I hate it so much. Yes, that boyfriend I mentioned that was the situation and that didnt end well. And then my sophomre year I was like in LOVE with this kid I had known back in elementary school and he was my best friend and he was out of my league and let me down gently. Then i fell for my frenemy my senior year, but he neber knew and it was just a phase for me I guess it didnt last long 

Do you believe in… 77. yourself?  Wish the answer was yes, maybe come again another day? 

78. Miracles?  sometimes 

79. love at first sight?  I would like to but Ii just can’t

80. Santa claus? I wish, but I am glad to pretend for my niece and nephew 

81. Kiss on the first date? Sure if it went well 

82. Angels? Nope. Sorry 

Other 83. Current best friend’s name: Well, I got three. They are my girls, my squad. Weve all been best friends for going on 4 four years. Sam, Dana, Solange 

84. Eye colour:  Brown, boring I know

85. Favourite movie: Can’t choose just one so like the entire Marvel franchise? Can I do that? Too bad I just did 

Im supposed to tag 20 more people but honestly my hands are cramping its after 10 and I really need a shower so if you want to take a crack at this I totally encourage you too. 

[thesmithfamily08]

October 28th 2019

Well things have definitely gotten better since my last post.  I hate that I haven’t posted in so long but once school starts life seems to get really bust really fast.  

Getting over Daisy passing has literally been one of the hardest things I have ever gone through.  She is missed daily and I still cry randomly.  That being said I am getting through it, we are all getting through it.  We haven’t been able to get a new dog yet and it might be a while before we are ready.  I am excited about the day we have a puppy but it is still too hard.

School started for the kids!!! This is Lily’s first year and I can’t believe I havent posted about it yet, of course she loves it!  She got her first report card a few weeks ago and she is doing so great, not that we expected differently.  She is making all kinds of friends and is really happy she finally gets to go to school with her brother and sister.  My favorite thing is getting to listen to her tell me about all the things she did at school, they do a letter a week and they learn songs which she loves singing to me.  So stinkin cute.  Penny started going to Herold this year, so new school but she loves her teacher.  She made friends with everyone really quickly and is liking school a lot.  We got her report card too and she is reading way above her reading level, she listens and follows directions perfectly, and with spelling and math the teacher is giving her work above her level just so she doesn’t get bored because she is doing so well.  I could not be more proud of her!! She is putting her into a book club with a couple of the other advanced readers so she will continue getting better, it is really awesome, i love her teacher so much.  Max of course is doing well too, this is his first year with percentage grades and all of his were in the 97% + range so needless to say he is doing well.  He likes his teacher because she lets him help with paperwork and stapling and filing and what not.  He loves it because I guess sometimes he gets bored.  So all in all they are enjoying school a lot, and doing really well!  We got the morning routine down faster than I expected too, with having to get 3 kids ready in the morning I thought it would take more time, but Max and Penny pretty much get themselves ready so I just have to help Lily along.  So far it has been a really great school year!

So, my arm :( I went to physical therapy for 3 months, it was awful and I hated every minute of it.  I have grained some movement in both directions but at this point it isn’t looking good for me to get more.  I am mostly trying to just keep the progress I have made and not go back words.  It has been overwhelmingly frustrating in every way.  I am seeing progress I just never in my wildest dreams could i have imagined something so stupid effecting me so badly. My physical therapy is done now, my insurance will not cover it anymore so I’m working on it at home, and I hope that next time I write on here I have better news.

So I have been watching kids in the afternoons and it is honestly going really well.  They are great kids and they get along pretty well.  Beckham and Ivy are both here now and I’m just sitting on the couch writing this out while they play legos in the other room.  It has been a nice supplement income that I am saving 100% of to take the kids to Disneyworld this summer with.

Max turned 8 since I wrote last!  We had a Zelda birthday party and it wasn’t my best party I have thrown but we did it outside because we finally had a party that it didn’t rain!!!!  They made smores and hotdogs on the fire.  They played some lasor tag and beat eachother up with swords.  In the end Max ended up with a bunch of new gifts and I think he had a great time...but really 8 years old.  Time is going by too fast for me.

Max is doing cubscouts again this year, he is all in on it, he really enjoys it, Rob and I have considered moving him to a bigger troop because I feel like he is missing out on stuff but he is definitely enjoying it.  They are actually going on a campout this weekend.  I may bring the girls too but I’m afraid it is going to be too cold and ya know I avoid the cold as much as possible. The girls want to join girl scouts too, I am planning on waiting until next fall and starting them together because you have to be in kindergarten so then they can do it together.  They both started Gymnastics this year.  Penny is doing really well and doesn’t miss a chance to do a cartwheel around the house.  She needs to work on her vault and getting her chin up pullover and she will get to level up to level 2.  Lily is doing well too, she is in a younger group but she already leveled up once!  One more level up and she will be with Penny, which I know would make them both super happy.  I have a feeling Penny might level up around the same time though.

Katie got married earlier this month too, The kids did sooo good in the ceremony, like omg talk about a proud momma moment.  It was the most adorable thing ever.  I can’t wait to see all the pictures!

I’m sure there are other things I need to put in here but I can’t remember right now hopefully I will do better and it wont take me as long to write next time!