#i hope I survive hhhhh

[ruubesz-draws]

Happy New Year 2024!!🎉

Wanted to draw the OG Gang for my first 2024 art.

Don't worry, they will return in my future comics!

[shokujin-art]

Hi there!

I'm just dropping by to say that, I love your artstyle and your MC!Allen and Satan's Dynamic. (They way you draw their expression is the highlight!)

Keep up the good drawing, and hopefully you don't get stuck in some of the stages.

Also, wishing you luck in getting a different king.

Hhhhh— thank you so much, I'm really happy that you enjoy what I'm drawing 🥹💖 As for the stages, for the moment I keep surviving. I'm around 20~ish in the 3rd chapter. I have everyone lvl 20 except Satan who's soon going to be 70 and Mammon 40 😂 (Guess who's my favorite haha) For the different king... I'm actually holding hostage all my red keys. I'm so going for Asmodeus once he'll be released. I love his version in Dokidoki unholyc class and hope to see him in the game 💖

[fettuccin-e]

Matt Murdock Fic Recs (Part II)

MATTHEW MURDOCK. MATTHEW. MURDOCK. bitch. manwhore. love of my life. i love him so much and there are so many good fics about him so he needed a second rec list. you can find part I here!! Pls give these authors your nicest comments and reblogs they deserve the universe (Also! if you are one of these authors and you'd like to be removed from this list, please let me know!)

Soulmark by @dyns33

>> Everyone has the name of their soulmate written somewhere on their body. You've always known that you don't have a soulmark, and that Matt's soulmate shares your name. Maybe all hope isn't lost like you think. (soulmate aus are my jam they are always so sweet and this is such a wonderful interpretation)

Seeping Into My Senses by @foli-vora

>> You want to watch Matt touch himself. He agrees, but only if you return the favor. He can't see you like you can see him, but hearing you is just as intoxicating. (watching matt uhh jerk off uhh brain broken no more working)

Justify by @itwasthereaminuteago

>> You want the devil to hear your confession. The devil is all-too-eager to listen, but your penance is far more sweet. You just don't know if you'll survive the night. (porn but also i literally cannot put into words how much i love this fic it literally hhhhh makes me wanna scream)

Hands Off by @grippingbeskar

>> You have a bet with Matt. Whoever touches the other first loses. Matt usually has the upper hand, but he never said that you couldn't touch yourself. (I- I have reblogged this fic twice. I reread it constantly and i am literally as a loss for words for how to explain the utter insanity it instills in me)

Independence Day by @courtforshort15

>> You love your fearless vigilante, but it's easy to forget sometimes exactly how sensitive his hearing is. The Fourth of July is a jarring reminder of Matt's disability and how his powers can't solve everything. You're happy to take care of him how he deserves. (this is so sweet!! i cry)

Crossing the Line by @peachyxreads

>> You've kept your feelings for your professor under tight wraps, making sure that your relationship remains nothing more than a strong friendship. The only question is how long it takes before one of you snaps. (professor matty is a NEED bro i had no idea how much i wanted it)

Hotter Than Hell's Kitchen by @peterman-spideyparker

>> You're supposed to be working on documents for an important case for Nelson and Murdock, but it's just you and Matt, and the A/C is out and tensions are high. Neither of you work on documents for very long. (he's a dork but a hot and sexy dork and the "a/c is out" trope is one of my very favorites)

"It's...Really Yellow?" by @pastafossa

>> Foggy needs your help in explaining to Matt that his new yellow suit is painfully impractical. You'd love to help, really, but your husband is almost painfully sexy and it can be really hard to focus. (this made me giggle audibly bro this is what i want from a marriage with Matty)

Reciprocum by @murdocks-devil

>> Matt is a giver, through and through. He doesn't like people taking care of him, so sometimes it takes a little careful manipulation to make sure that he stays safe and happy. It's all out of love. (literally had me in tears it's so fucking sweet and so in-character)

[edenesth]

Hello love, It's me, the ghost of the once frequent comment turned to slave to capitalism.

I'm "technically" not out of the woods at work yet but I haven't been able to read past the first instalment of Wooyoung's spin off, and in my books that's a crime. So I'll try to get some reading done in any slow time I get at work because honestly I'm beat by the time I get home, and all I wanna do is mindlessly scroll through pictures of shirtless Mingi.

Having said so... Did you see the Coachella performance? Are you still alive after that? cause I felt my blood pressure skyrocket, I swear. And the comeback announcement + USA tour? (can't remember if you're USA based or not... my bad). I don't know how I'm not dead yet.

I did read Seonghwa's side stories and I must say, I'm so excited for their journey as parents, and of course their chaotic friends as uncles.

Thank you as always for sharing your writing with us 💜💜 sending you lots of love.

I missed you so much, my darling!🥺❤️ I hope you're doing alright!! Gurl pls dw about it, I'm about to join you and be a full-time slave to capitalism in just a week too!😭

Just take your time and don't stress about it! My stories are here for your enjoyment, read them whenever you feel like it!🫂

You bet your ass I did HHHHH I won't lie, I did die and come back to life quite a few times. I'm surviving ig🤧 all I can say is that these boys NEED REST bc I'm genuinely concerned about their health atp😭 and I'm not HAHA I'm from Malaysia, but that's okay!

Aww, I'm really glad you liked the bonus chapters! And thank you for your kind words, you're the sweetest!💖

[no-where-new-hero]

I very rarely post my music interests (mostly because hhhhh during the past year it had been exclusively kpop brainrot) BUT I just finished listening through Hozier's Unreal Unearth and the Little Bespectacled Owl in my brain has thoughts!

Basically, it comes across as Hozier's most varied and tonally rich album to date. He has obviously illustrated range in the past--I sometimes can't believe the man who wrote "In the Woods Somewhere" wrote "Cherry Wine" and wrote "Dinner and Diatribes"--but on the level of production value and sonic qualities, I think he outdid himself this time.

I'm the kind of listener to find my favorite songs in an album and then make them my entire personality, so this won't be a comprehensive review, but four tracks stood out for me the most:

It's the juxtaposition of the moment in a rainy street with the sudden eternity of death that does it for me. The music itself also hearkens back to a 2000s Coldplay sound, and since I weaned on that music, I enjoy any modern artist who can recapture some of that effect, though of course Hozier is able to turn it into a poem.

Of course this one was gonna get me as a diaspora girlie. It's a dirge for a language lost as well as a promise that, even broken, a culture and a world will continue to survive. Cried on first listen, will cry again.

What can I say? Icarus will never die as long as people yearn for the unattainable.

This one worked for me on a craft level because I am always so satisfied when an artist can end an album on the pitch-perfect note of hope while also acknowledging the excruciating journey he brought you on.

[blackwldcw]

SCREAMS CRIES THROWS TANTRUM

just finished episode 18 and I am HHHHH FURIOUS. Gods. I know humans make for good villains because, really, humanity does not have the best track record in any capacity for welcoming outsiders. But yikes. This show is a kids' version of District 9. It's haunting. There are literally Autobots and Decepticons out there surviving off of scraps, risking their lives for human entertainment just to get a bit of energon. And the Decepticon POWs? Let's hand them over to a madman to be guinea pigs.

And don't even get me started on the human-led shadowplay on Cybertronians.

This is such a good show, but I really hope the writers follow through with this whole theme of redemption and cut back on misunderstandings in the next season. I want bots like Breakdown and Tarantulas to be okay.

Like OPTIMUS are you dumb are you STUPID. Megatron knows what's up. And I hope he blows the whole place sky high when he finds out what's been happening to his people.

And the memorial. CRIES. There is a war memorial written completely in Cybertronian to commemorate all who died before the space bridge was destroyed. The blue flowers. The fact that only Megatron's statue has graffiti. Like, it's a sacred place.

And the ending photo of the graffiti saying "Transformers Go Home" being changed to "Transformers ARE home."

My head and heart are full of feelings ok. I haven't been this invested in a Transformers cartoon since Animated.

[theherdofturtles]

My guesses at the UK brothers' favourite books :

Éire: Mo Scéal Féin by Peadar O Laoghaire. The imagery in Irish !! and manages to be frickin' painful just as it is hopeful- XI, the castle poem and the pigeon in context of Peadar writing in the Irish language ??? THE hhhhh Pain in the soul. But I also imagine Éire's a smug connoisseur of Yeats. In Memory of W. B :

"You were silly like us; your gift survived it all:

The parish of rich women, physical decay,

Yourself. Mad Ireland hurt you into poetry.

Now Ireland has her madness and her weather still"

Alba: Sporan Dhòmhnaill by Donald Macintyre. This is purely self-indulgent. Macintyre writes satire in sort of double-meaning language a lot. His syntax is wacky in the best way? I think this is oddly fitting to Alba. Uibhist Uain' an Eòrna is his favourite part of Sporan Dhòmhnaill. I'm taking no questions. 

England: He says his favourite book is the Odyssey, mainly because no one will argue with him, and everyone expects him to go all ‘Shakespeare’s Judgment Equal to his Genius' on them (Of William, I imagine either King Lear or Henry IV is his favoured). Odyssey is reasonably suited to him, too. Sailing, adventure, morally questionable heroics through manipulation or outsmarting one's foes—Odyssey has all the stuff he likes. HOWEVER on the down low, he's memorised Kipling's Seven Seas. If anyone heard that, there would be red flags. He's aware of that. 

Cymru: This is partly a shot in the dark because I've not actually read Ceiriog, but he has high credentials, is described as being heartfelt in his work, and he seems a fitting author for Cymru? ‘Oriau'r Hwyr’ perhaps? I've heard his diction likened to Coleridge or Wordsworth, both of whom I am fairly familiar with, and if I trust that connection I see it well fit to Cymru. Other than that, I would see him as a fan of Le Morte d’Arthur.

[lovelywingsart]

Well... I said I'd sketch to help So have a literal rough sketch page 🥲 Decided on just... sketching out Emelia. Alot. A bunch of things, namely interactions and Survival AU stuffs... And MAYYYYBE little Emotes I may do in the future?? Maybe.

Hope y'all enjoy 😂💙

(Also, yes- this is actually typically what my sketches look like before lining and making pretty. I don't really ever post them except the small peaks, but I made an exception for this... It's weird to have fully raw sketches posted, I can't even lie 🥲)

//Also with sketches featuring Rebeka (DrawzDuma), Lazarus (BartholomewsArt) and Faline (Faye_Fantasies) because HHHHH I don't know I just sketched and they said 'hi' so I ran with it 🥲//

[ashy-mxw12]

Greetings I'm the mermaid who came to cause havoc

Okno x"D hello hello hello amiwoomys how are you today? I'm here to say hi to the Cookie Run community here at Tumblr with one of the many cookies I have (I'll show each one of them soon just gimme some time I'm still writing their info on my notEs) meet Lavender Fairy Cookie! My self-insert who I HC as Black Pearl Cookie's adopted daughter and Squid Ink Cookie's big sissy,in the screenshot you can read her info I'm honestly lazy to type it all again here hHhHh

Also if you wonder where she comes from welp she was born from a Sea Fairy tear and wandered through the deep ocean hunting animals to survive until she entered on BP's realm and she didn't knew how to talk or anything so she had to taught her and eventually she got attached to her new silly little mermaid and now Lavender protects her momma's kingdom from any threat(sometimes she mixes the words while talking tho,don't mind her she's like a child)

I guess that's all so I hope you like it ^^

Bye take care and remember to drink water uwu

[chi-arts]

“I won’t let her die. That’s why I’m going to utilize myself.”

I love my white haired genius boi a lot, lets all hope he doesn’t end up dying for Emma!

[azenkii]

Me, an ATLA fan who has not watched TLOK, judging the characters I've heard of purely based on physical appearance:

Korra

- hhhhh buff girl,,big muscles,,,,im too gay to deal with this

- her hair looks cool

- she looks like the kind of person to be super loud and hyperactive but also fun to be around

- 10/10 i want to be friends with her

Mako

- WHAT is going on with his eyebrows

- seems like the textbook definition of Tall Dark and Broody

- zuko but without the awkwardness and rage issues? he seems...very quiet

- 10/10 he looks like he'd stop a woman on the street to tell her she dropped her wallet but then accidentally end up making plans for dinner on Friday and he wouldn't have the heart to tell her he's already in a relationship

Bolin

- he looks so sweet!!

- either he's sweet or he's a dudebro but i'm going with sweet

- looks like he would use :D in every other text he sends

- probably crushes people's hands when they shake hands

- 10/10 i DEFINITELY want to be friends with him

Asami

- hot girl?? hot girl with cool glove??? i TOLD y'all i was too gay for this

- her hair...her eyes...her makeup....

- she looks rich. is she rich? she gives me 'oh i noticed your earphones broke so i bought you five pairs of airpod pros, i hope that's ok' vibes

- probably has a ton of daddy/mommy issues. you can see it in her eyes

- 10/10 because i want her to be my gf

Tenzin

- why is his head shaped like an elongated semicircle

- i don't know how old he is but if he wasn't an air nomad he'd probably still be bald from premature stress-induced hair loss

- 7/10 because he looks like my shitty english teacher

Lin

- oh she looks like she could DESTROY me

- she looks like a McGonagall type of person

- probably owns a cat or aspires to own a cat

- takes ZERO shit

- 12/10 i love her already

Wu

- this man is a TWINK

- he probably spends a full hour on his hair every morning

- he has zero survival skills and would die within the first hour of the apocalypse

- 8/10 he's the fun idiot friend we all need

Varrick

- incompetent gay villain. that's all i have to say about him

- he looks like the red guy from the sonic movie

- he supports capitalism

- probably calls random women 'dear', 'darling' and 'sweetheart'

- 7/10 he looks like he belongs on team rocket

Kuvira

- unlike varrick, she's a competent gay villain

- probably plays chess (or pai sho, in this case)

- looks like she wears boots with metal spurs on the heels

- does she kick people a lot? she looks like she kicks people a lot. specifically roundhouse kicks

- 8/10 'cause she's hot

Amon

- cool mask i like how he's abiding by COVID rules

- is he dramatic? i bet he's dramatic

- i can't see his face but he looks like an asshole

- 5/10 i feel like he'd try to bring back the Soviet Union

some extra ones without pictures because tumblr only allows 10 images per post:

Suyin

- she looks like the fun aunt

- has probably done at least one (1) illegal thing

- she and lin are siblings right? oohhh i feel like they yelled at each other a LOT

- she looks like she has a nice voice

- 10/10 i wish she was my english teacher

Jinora

- hmmmm

- i like her but she also seems like the kind of kid who'd correct your pronunciation of random words just because they feel like it

- 8/10 because she seems nice but she also reminds me too much of my annoying little cousin (who i love, but they get on my nerves)

Meelo

- no.

- 0/10 i hate everything about his face

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

Angsty thought: When Hua used FHD to create an opening to defeat the Herrscher of Binding, she got knocked out for a while, and her friends/colleagues didn't know if she would even wake up.

The Flamechasers could only have been formed after Hua got knocked out, so by then she would have only known Elysia and Eden. We already got some of Elysia being upset about what happened to Hua, but both she and Eden likely spent a long time worrying about whether Hua would wake up, or whether she would even be herself when she woke up.

And its just dawned on me that the flamechasers either formed while Hua was unconscious, recovering, or just after she had recovered, but Su was there to help her with her recovery, so it was likely during or before her recovery.

So now I'm wondering if like. Yeah, Elysia probably formed the Flamechasers as a team of the only remaining mantises. But I wonder if she also wanted to bring together everyone who could possibly help Hua wake up. If she, while waiting for Hua to recover, reserved a spot on the team with Hua's name on it because she wanted to hope it would work.

Also we have no idea what Eden was up to at this time so like, what was her involvement, how did she feel about what happened to Hua? What did she try to do in the hopes it would help? Was part of why the elysian realm was created? To house a backup copy in case it ever happened again? To help draw out the memories so she could recover better?

Idk I've just been thinking about that scene where Elysia is telling Kevin about how she cant fulfill her promise while holding Hua and its been messing me up.

hhhhh oh my god. the way pretty much everyone who meets her cherishes Hua… 🥺

and then of course there’s how Hua only survived because Elysia protected her with her crystal at the last second…….

[incorrect-natshig]

hhhhh i kinda wanna jump on the whole “telling you our natshig au ideas” thing so here i go (i’m gonna try and write a fic about this but i tend to get burnt out after the first chapter so here’s hoping i follow through because i really like this one)

ok so natsuo and tenko meet at a park when they’re around 2 after hana jumps at one of those poles on a climbing frame and hits her head and touya (who’d been playing with her and fuyumi) laughs so hard he falls off too. so obviously rei and nao rush over to see if they’re ok with natsuo and tenko following them like little ducks. once they get there rei and nao recognise eachother since they were friends in school but lost contact after rei married enji

so the mums stay in contact and have play dates for the kids and thus begins a natshig friendship (with touya and hana being very aggressive best friends as well)

so one day natsuo says to tenko that if endeavour ever hit him then he’d run away to tenkos house. tenko of course thinks this is a great idea and remembers that when he’s outside crying after his dad hits him

so little tenko picks himself up and toddles on over to the todoroki household with mon following him on his adventure

hana comes out, can’t find her brother, and promptly loses her shit and her mum soon follows and eventually kotaro comes down, sees the side gate open and (quite understandably) believes his son has been kidnapped when in reality he’s skipping away to his friends house

by the time tenko gets to the todorokis, rei knows that he’s missing and near has a heart attack when he shows up at her door

luckily the only casualties of tenkos quirk is a few toys, so significantly less trauma. nao is still pissed at tenko for scaring her so bad so he is grounded but at least he’s not an orphan! :D

fast forward a few years and natshig are minding their own business when they see some guys trying to grab a kid and natsuo decides to punch the shit out of them. they then decide to become vigilantes since tenko has a “villainous” quirk and natsuo has no quirk at all and they don’t think any hero course will take them

the end up bumping into dabi who cant very well just leave his brother with next to no street smarts so he teaches the boys hand to hand and how to not get arrested

of course these dumbasses end up arrested by eraserhead

in exchange for letting them go and not saying anything, aizawa makes them take the entrance exam with the promise that they’re basically guaranteed a place so he can nurture their heroic spirit or whatever

so tenkos family is mostly supportive since hana is going into her third year there and nao divorced kotaro after he refused to take responsibility for tenko running away, but obviously endeavour isn’t too happy about natsuo and says he won’t survive and will be dropping out in no time

dabi is annoyed they got caught, but willing to support them anyway

they both end up graduating, but not before natsuo snitches on endeavour to aizawa and he helps fuyumi get custody of her brothers and a steady income so she can provide for them

endeavour gets arrested and dabi goes home because endeavour may not be dead but he is in jail and all that time spent with natsuo and tenko unfroze his cold dead heart so he just wants his siblings back

cue emotional reunion cut short by hana drop kicking the poor man for not at least leaving ominous notes pretending to be a ghost

that’s basically it and actually writing that gave me a smidge of motivation to write it so maybe i’ll do it??? i’ll sign this in case i do and you or someone else wants to read it when i write it

~🦋

This is just too good for words💖✨

[shikitsune]

1, 2, 6, 8 💕💕💕💕

1. what song makes you feel better?

Aaaa there are many hold on I need to search through the jukebox that is my brain hmmmm

Many songs make me feel good and hype but if we're specifically talking songs that I listen to when I need cheering up it's probably stuff that brings back memories or means a lot to me overall, like Sonata Arctica's whole discography (singing my lungs out to this one), PMMP, TikTak...

2. what’s your feel-good movie?

I realized most of my favorite movies are sad ones 😂😂😂 But uhh I'd say Big Hero 6

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

I'm bad at complimenting myself I feel so dirty doing this hhhhh

1. I like my long lashes (they're sometimes mistaken for false lashes but nope, they're mine lol) 2. I do like that I have a soft hourglass figure 3. I like the color of my hair (I used to hate it but I've grown to love it)

1. I love my imagination. It allows me to be creative and unique 2. My main purpose is love so I'm doing my best to be kind and helpful towards people 3. I have survived SO MUCH like holy shit I am RESILIENT and STILL KICKING FUCK YEAH

8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good. 

I hope yall don't mind 👉👈

@yukinyaminyato @nuubles @yuiaka @aobajossai @stealthgrass @beananium @mbejus @etiainen @rednite-dork @nonetth @karasunoboi & others who are not on tumblr 💕💕 I'm blessed to be surrounded by such angels ✨️

Kiitos kun lähetit tän 💕💖

[mlchaelwheeler]

friend i finished camp cretaceaus and i have Many Thoughts, so sorry in advance for the rant??

mostly i'm just like [zuko voice] that can't be it! where's the rest of it?

like seriously i just need more of this chaotic found family i love them so much like look at them they survived murderous dinosaur island for 6 months i'm so proud 🥺 and they REALLY became a family thEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH!!!!

yaz and sammy!!!!!!! fuck i love their relationship that whole episode with the antidote was *chefs kiss* and i love brooklynn finally getting closer to them and also she and darius are so cute! and kenji?? excuse me, i love kenji??? so much???? he's trying so hard idk, he's a good bean. when sammy was poisoned and he was so scared, i....... i wanna protect these children

also he was totally right in the last episode, about not risking friends' lives (because of what happened to ben, i think?)

WHEN BEN CAME BACK AAAAAAAAHHH i love him so much, feral little pyromaniac boy, he needs more love. i'm so glad he made the choice of not staying but i would love to see more of him growing because hhhhh he just seems so out of place with the group and he's so insecure even though he projects confidence.... i hope he's gonna be okay. oh and i loved his conflict with darius and darius not wanting to leave him like dude dude dude that got me bad..... also sometimes i wanna yell at darius to not be the self-sacrificing little hero but god he's probably feeling so much guilt for the whole situation, in conclusion they all have issues they really should sort out, where is season 4 coming???

also if you have some favourite fics, please throw them my way

KAM OMG YOU FINISHED IT 😭😭😭 i need to do a rewatch bc i already miss it sm and it's only been like a month since s3 was released lol

you're so right about everything tho... the antidote episode?? kenji being the best?? ben being so out of place?? absolutely,, plus i'm so excited to see the campers' dynamic in s4 since ben doesn't have bumpy and will have to rely on everyone else for a change

ooooh on that topic, what do you think was in the boat at the very end of s3?? i've seen lots of different opinions (baby scorpius rex, compy, baryonyx, etc) but i'm not entirely sure what i think yet... but the campers are definitely headed to isla sorna in s4!! their compass doesn't work, remember ? lol rip to them

as for fics,, you should check out my ao3 (saarii) bc i have written a bunch of fics for camp cretaceous lol 🏃🏼‍♀️ i just had a lot of thoughts and needed to write them all down,, also check my bookmarks on there for other good fics bc i've read so many good ones

[sapropel]

The main things that turned me off of conversion for now were

1. I have alot of shit on my plate and am low income as a result so finding a place that will help might be hard because locally there really aren't any synagogues around

2. The synagogue I did find locally was uhhh...... Hhhhh. Their web page had a huge section about Israel in a positive light..

I love the religion, I love certain values it holds however I refuse to align with anyone who justifies colonialism and bloodshed against another group of people while ignoring past bloodshed done onto themselves. It makes 0 sense to me and is highly hypocritical.

Hypocrisy was one of the reasons I hated Christianity so much. Constantly causing bloodshed, huge present and past history of colonialism, huge present day history of wanting people like me who are gay or trans dead and in the ground.

the difference with Christianity is that there isn't even a present day persecution or justified worry of safety despite the fact that I've seen jack chick esque evangelical fuckers unironically act like they're holocaust survivors whenever a pride parade happens within 1 mile of them.

It makes me sad, I don't see the point in colonizing or maiming a group of people who should be your equals.

It's racist at best, dangerous and actively contributing to more death and violence at worst.

The thing is there isn't really a "point." It creates its own point. Real actionable Zionist sentiment was basically non-existent until the rise of European nationalism. It's literally the exact same brand of nationalism that gave birth to fascist Italy and other great failures of modernity. And when "Israel" was a proto-state basically its entire existence was contingent upon its continued usefulness to Britain as a tool of control over India through the Suez. Zionist claims to the land are super shaky at best and straight up revisionist at worst. Post-facto Israel has tried to give itself legitimacy through fearmongering, genocide, and forging alliances with other imperialist powers. It's doing what America did (and is doing) but it's happening in the age of mass media and we are all watching colonial revisionism happen in real time.

If you are letting the prevalence of Zionism keep you from Judaism, I would say you should keep thinking about it. If you treat Judaism as too thoroughly engulfed in Zionism, you do the work of Zionists for them--you legitimize their claim that Judaism is Zionism is Israel. You legitimize the idea that anti-Zionism is antisemitism which is incidentally exactly how my local rabbis have been fucking me over since June. You are of course totally within your rights not to convert to a religion that doesn't work for you, but I hope you rethink the implication that converting to Judaism is akin to aligning with Zionism.

And yeah, Zionist hypocrisy is a systematic issue within American Jewish institutions in a feedback loop with Jewish populations. Any institutional apparatus is going to have systematic issues that reflect the dominant discourse of the greater cultural framework--mainstream Jewish institutions are going to, both by the nature of maintaining relevancy in America and by the natures of fearmongering and cultural amnesia, have a vested interest in participating in capitalism, imperialism, racism... You are not going to find mainstream insitutions that don't perpetuate them. That's why they're dominant. You are no more aligning yourself with Zionism by going to a synagogue than you are aligning yourself with capitalism by shopping at Wal-Mart. Anything you meaningfully do in public is in some way going to be "problematic" on some level because public space is designed to keep itself alive by those values.

It's exhausting to make yourself never come close to anyone or anything bad at all--refusing to associate with anyone with a problematic ideology is a doomed enterprise. I've been there. A lot of Zionist sentiment is implanted in people's minds with lifelong propaganda and destructive mind control techniques, and it's important to recognize that. That doesn't mean Zionist adults don't have a responsibility to unlearn it, but I think it's possible to have compassion for people who do try to do their best with improving themselves. Most people you meet want to be good and don't want to be willfully ignorant. I try to think about how difficult it is to convince the average well-meaning white American of the merits of decolonization/land back. Most well-meaning Zionist Jews are going to feel the same way about Israel--actual systematic justice and decolonization are not in their lexicons. Decolonization is hidden behind thought-stopping techniques that they have been inundated with from day 1. But most people do have a basic sense of goodness and are willing to sacrifice something for it. Most people are willing to give ground for the sake of human decency. The only way I can survive talking to people I know are Zionists is by understanding that we both want the world to be a better place and if I dwell on the specifics of how I perceive them to be evil, the possibility of us having a working relationship and any hope at productive dialogue drops to zero.

You don't have to be patient with Zionists or Zionist institutions. You don't have to forgive them. You don't even have to be compassionate. But you do need to understand, intellectually, that imposed cognitive dissonance is a very powerful tool of mind control (and I'm not talking about woo-woo shit I'm extrapolating from cult research and personal experience) and that the pathos of Zionism isn't supposed to be logical. Fear trumps hypocrisy. Fatigue trumps informed consent. Charisma trumps logic. Any bigoted ideology is going to fall apart under logical scrutiny, and that's why the only battleground for maintaining bigotry is necessarily charismatic and emotional.

We haven't yet, of course, acknowledged that there are also tons of anti-Zionist Jews and that the concept isn't absurd or fringe, no matter what the dominant Zionist discourse says. It's important for us not to let Zionists be the stewards of Judaism--Zionists do not OWN Judaism. Just like the most Orthodox of Jews also don't OWN Judaism. Judaism is only what you make it to be, and if you leave it alone because you are too worried about Zionism, that is all Judaism is ever going to be for you. Of course, you still have to contend with Zionism, and if you actually are interested in being a Jew, you would have to find a way not to let it kill your Judaism. I've come close (ish) to giving up on Judaism a couple of times because of Israel and Zionism, but I'm glad I haven't. I've stuck it out long enough to give myself to tools I need to separate the two and see the situation with more clarity.