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#i hope someone looks forward to it :p i love this fic so much
linonyang · 1 year
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i believe i am almost done in revising (and extending) painting faith 🙏 hopefully it’d be 100% complete at the end of the week! i delayed it for so long because of uni </3 but i’m just thankful that i’m so pumped to write lately that i got more productive in writing than usual :D
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bokettochild · 3 months
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Just saw the update!
So, first thoughts!
Gremlin Legend and Sky is something I am LIVING for. Sky's little look of approval as he stands between Wars and Legend after that little move is sending me!
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(Wild is not impressed)
I also really love that JoJo played with Warriors' cape/scarf being capable of doing that, which is a major risk btw, but I love that we see it's potential now!
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Like, Legend's timing is perfect (and I love that this confirms the Legend v. Wars dynamic we all love) especially considering Hyrule was literally talking about the same thing and you'd THINK Captain-War-Hero over here would be more cautious because of it (although the fact this implies Legend doesn't trigger Warriors danger sense is GREAT for the fluff fic writers like me!)
Time and Wars looking like disappointed parents though is brilliant
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(Warriors with messy hair is so funny to me, help)
The continued portrayal of Time being too harsh with the boys, all tense after what happened to Twilight, that's great. i'm glad the consequences of past events are following them, it really makes this all feel linear!
I also am ALL HERE for the boys finding their differences! Warriors and Wild both admitting to being new to dungeon crawling and the monsters involved is a great thing we've all been playing with in fics, but making it cannon feels like validation :)
Also, Warriors being defensive of that, and maybe a bit prickly about their judgement, I think it shows a lot of him. he's got his pride,a although he's learned to tame it. He's feeling a bit miffed to realize how different he is, but doesn't want them seeing him as lesser as well (although they never would). I can also hear him using a clipped military sort of tone when speaking here. It's just the way his words are selected and strung together that makes it seem he's being very to the point, direct, and cold in his tone, which really sells the whole difference between a soldier and the "average nobody" that the rest of them were (ironic, since he's trying to act like the difference isn't a big deal but only further accentuates it this way).
Twilight being pleased that Epona is fine and just enjoying a meal made me grin so big though. He's all worried for his girl but she is, quite literally, happy as a horse over there LOL
Also, this bit:
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recognition for Sky's right-handedness, my beloved! (JoJo is giving us all the easter eggs!)
The fact that the passage is too small to let them all fight though is a brilliant way of preventing some of our heavy hitters and more skilled heroes from being able to do anything though!
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I like how that gives us the chance to see Time one-shot the foe and also gives him the impression that the rest are maybe not skilled enough to do this alone. WE all know they are, but they're a handicap to each other right now, and it's only further cementing in his mind that they're not ready for all this, which will make his overbearing speech and the judgement he casts on them in combat all the more an issue.
I mean, we all know the hero's shade was like that, but JoJo has shown Time acting this way from the start
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(Deep Shadows P.2)
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(Likelike)
So I guess we're in for more of that now, and most likely someone (probably Legend, as it's usually him, or Wind, who is very aware of judgement from teh rest) is definitely going to have to call him on it soon, maybe in the dungeon. Will that lead to some bonding with Time where he has to admit he cares and worries about them as though they're his own? I hope so!
Anyways, all this to say, we really are seeing how much they struggle to work together, so hopefully this dungoen will teach them all how to do that better, as Time mentioned earlier
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(Dawn p.8)
Now, to finish it off!I would like to thank JoJo for giving us so many beautiful shots of Twi this time around. I'll admit it now, he's pretty darn fine <3
That said, I'm loving the Legend content too! i hope we get to see some more starring moments from him going forwards, what with him being the dungeon veteran and all! It's great seeing his childish/playful side these last few updates, but I'm really craving some veteran Legend right now >:)
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joelscruff · 1 year
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ummm hi this is so random i just needed to tell someone about this cause no one i know likes pedro
so i was watching s1 narcos and javi was wearing this fkn white half sleeved shirt and they knew what they were fucking doing and i’m dying he’s so fkn hot what do i do!!, if i was interning for him and he walked in the room wearing that oh my fkn god i would be dead sorry for this rant
soaked (javier peña x f!reader) 18+
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so as usual what was meant to be a little drabble became a full-fledged fic. what is wrong with me????? this outfit is truly insane though and i couldn't stop thinking about it getting wet 👀 i hope you enjoy xo (and thank you anon for the inspo and for telling me what episode this lovely shirt was in!) summary: it's hard being an intern for a man who won't even look at you, but maybe there's something else to it that you don't see. rating: 18+ explicit warnings: smut, blowjobs, deepthroating, protected p in v sex, praise kink, dirty talk, size kink (javi has a big dick), biting, probably bad spanish (blame google) word count: 6k (this was supposed to be a drabble!!!!!!! wtf!!!!!!!!) ao3
You're pretty sure you're going to quit your job.
You've been an intern at the DEA for about a month now, in charge of extremely mundane things like pouring coffee and organizing paperwork. No one really talks to you other than Steve Murphy, one of the agents you're assigned to, and even then he's too busy to really give you much attention. It's lonely and boring, and part of you thinks you might have quit already, if it wasn't for...
"Morning, asshole," Javier Peña enters the office with long strides, tossing a stack of papers toward your (very tiny) desk. You can't help but stare at him, swallowing nervously as you assess the plain white shirt he's wearing, loosely tucked into his tight jeans and accentuating his strong, tan arms. How does he always look so good? His hair is messy, brown curls tangled and sticking up in places like he's just rolled out of bed, and he probably has. The faint scent of whisky that follows him tells you all you need to know about how he spent his evening.
You're worried for only half a second that he's talking to you, but you realize his gaze is directed toward Steve, who simply shrugs.
"You didn't have to come," he replies with a laugh, "You coulda said no."
"To your fucking wife? Please." Javier sits down in his chair with force, leaning back to immediately put his long legs up on his desk and reach for a cigarette from his pocket, "She was excited about it, you dick."
Steve just laughs again, turning back to his work, "You did the right thing, man. I don't know what else to say."
You wish you understood the story, knew what they were playfully ribbing each other about, but for the past month you've been on the outside of their relationship. Steve gives you reassuring smiles and some small talk every now and then but it's not enough to feel like you actually belong there, not to mention that Javier has only spoken to you once. Even now, as you rise from your chair to pour some fresh coffee into his mug, he doesn't even look at you.
"You owe me," he says to Steve, lighting up his cig, "Pendejo."
As you pour his coffee you can't help but notice the way the collar of his shirt rides low enough for you to see his collarbones, see the light dusting of hair smattered across his dark skin. There's a few droplets of sweat here and there, and you resist the urge to lean forward and press your tongue to each one.
"I'll have some more too, sweetheart," Steve says behind you, and your thoughts scatter as you pull back from Javier's mug to go re-fill Steve's. You're aware of the way Steve's eyes trail to your breasts, hidden only by a thin layer of blue fabric; it makes you self conscious and also a bit confused. Steve has never looked at you that way before, "That's a nice blouse," he says to you with a smile, eyes going back up to your face, "My wife has one similar to that."
"Thank you," you say quietly, finishing filling up his mug and wanting to go back over to your desk as soon as possible; you don't like the idea of a married man ogling you.
"Isn't this a nice blouse, Javi?" Steve continues, and you freeze.
What is Steve doing? Is he trying to get you insulted? You turn slightly to look at Javier, coffee pot trembling slightly in your hand when you see that he's got an irritated expression painting his face, mouth downturned in a stern frown.
"Thin ice, Steve," Javier replies and takes another drag from his cigarette, his eyes set firmly on Steve's face, not even bothering to even look at the blouse in question.
"What? It's nice," Steve seems to be feigning innocence, yet again another inside joke you're not apart of. Except this time it's at your expense and you're not sure how that makes you feel. Suddenly Steve reaches up and takes a ruffle of your blouse near your arm between his fingers, "Really soft, too."
"Steve," Javier repeats, eyes dark, "Thin. Ice."
You look from Javier to Steve and back to Javier, absolutely bewildered. It's like things are being said but you can't hear them, have no idea what kind of secret language they're speaking. You pull away from Steve a bit, feeling uncomfortable.
"I'm gonna go put this back," you say quietly, referring to the coffee pot.
"Of course, sweetheart, I won't keep you," Steve gives you a wink and you know something is off. From what you've gathered so far from your time here, Steve loves his wife, has a picture of her on his desk right in front of him that you always catch him looking at. You've only been here a month but you swear he's mentioned her every single day, if not to you then to Javier, if not to Javier then to another intern or agent. So why is he suddenly being flirtatious with you?
You leave the room and return the coffee pot, staring at the aged tiles on the wall in front of you and feeling a lump form in your throat. You really do hate it here, you don't know why you've stayed as long as you have.
Yes you do, you idiot.
--
It's raining outside by the time your work day ends and you feel yourself deflate as you walk out the front doors of the DEA; you'd been hoping for the hot weather to continue so you could go for a run and distract yourself from this weird and uncomfortable day, decide whether or not you're going to just quit already. It's like the heavy rainfall is mocking you.
You feel much too depressed to walk home so you go back inside the building and make your way back to the office to call a taxi. Steve passes you in the hallway and slows down, puts his hand up to stop you.
"Hey, I'm sorry for this morning," he says, eyes kind and gentle, "That was inappropriate, I shouldn't have touched your blouse."
You're not sure what to say, giving him a small shrug, "It's, uh, okay. I was just..." you shake your head, "Yeah, never mind, it's okay."
"You're wondering why I did it." he states, frowning, and you almost laugh at his immediate assessment of the situation; deflecting a DEA agent? Not the smartest idea.
"Well, yeah," you shrug, "It was kinda weird. You're usually, um... very respectful so-"
He winces, "I know, I'm sorry. It was just me trying to get on Peña's nerves," he shuffles awkwardly in front of you, shifting the weight from his left leg to his right and back again, "He'd kill me if he knew I was telling you this, but I owe him."
You look at him in total confusion, shaking your head, "I don't understand."
He chuckles, shaking his head, "I know, I'm just trying to figure out how to word it," he bites his lip and then seems to resign himself to something, "Javier... he likes you."
You stare.
"My wife and I, we kind of wrangled him into having dinner with us last night. They were talking, she was askin' him about women, if he'd been on any dates, typical questions," he laughs at the memory, "He said no and she asked if he had his eye on anyone. He said no again, but I know this guy like the back of my hand, I can read him like a book. I knew that second no was a goddamn lie."
Your heart is pounding in your chest but your thoughts are muddled, unable to draw a clear conclusion from what Steve is telling you. You continue to just stand there wordlessly, listening.
"A few drinks later - well, more than a few - I asked him who he had his eye on. You wouldn't believe how easy it was to get it out of him, he just smiled, took a drag of his cig..." Steve acts this out, bringing his cigarette-less fingers to his lips and pretending to take a puff, eyes heavy-lidded and bleary, "And said your name."
You can't believe what you're hearing, there's no way it's true, no way he's telling you about something that actually happened. Your heart continues to pound relentlessly, staring at Steve like he's speaking another language, a million wordless questions flying back and forth in your mind at top speed.
"She's the most beautiful creature I ever saw," he quotes, voice slurred and gravelly, "She's sunshine incarnate."
"But he doesn't even look at me!" you blurt out, eyes wide.
Steve drops his hand and laughs again, shaking his head, "Sweetheart, he looks at you all the time. You're just looking away when he does it."
This revelation hits you hard, makes your breath catch in your throat. Is this actually true? Or is this some sick inside joke they're playing to get you to finally put in your notice, one of their private little games that you're not a part of. On principle it's the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard; the man has spoken to you once, only once, and it was on your first day. He'd introduced himself, shook your hand, and that was that.
"What do you mean you're doing this because you owe him?" you ask, shaking the thoughts away, "Isn't this just humiliating him?"
Steve smiles again, slightly smug, "I see the way you look at him too, you know. I'm not blind," he looks at his watch then and makes a face, "Listen, I gotta go, but if you're heading back to the office, he's still there."
"But, Steve, I-"
"Trust me," he gives you one of his reassuring smiles, "He needs - scratch that - wants someone like you, someone... stable."
You don't think being on the verge of quitting a paid internship would be considered stable, but you understand what he means. You may have only been here a short time but Javier's reputation is widely known around the office, something you've found yourself sympathizing with instead of villainizing him like others do. You know his history with women is pretty bleak relationship wise.
Steve begins to walk away from you, leaving you standing there speechless, "You better hurry before he leaves," he calls. He picks up his pace but you're still able to hear him as he mutters, "and that's my good deed done," then saunters down the hall and disappears around the corner.
--
The office you share with Javier and Steve is the only one still lit on your floor, meaning everyone else has already gone home. You know that Javier likes to stay late sometimes, work on the case alone and look at things from different angles in solitude. You feel nervous as you approach the door, not wanting to bother him. But regardless of whether what Steve said is true, you still need to call a taxi.
You turn the knob and walk inside, trying to be as quiet and slow as possible. Your efforts are pointless though, as Javier looks up from his work and sees you immediately, his eyebrows going up in surprise.
"It's raining," you say softly, awkwardly, "I need to call a cab."
"Right," he nods to you and then returns to his work without an afterthought, writing something down on a piece of paper.
You stand there for a few moments just looking at him, watching his face, trying to find any indication of affection behind those focused eyes, his serious brow. He looks the same as always, lost in thought, scribbling away, handsome as he does it. The white shirt certainly isn't helping; he's unbuttoned it more now, his chest exposed and sunglasses hanging from a button near his pocket. He's so effortlessly gorgeous, it makes you ache.
He must sense you still standing there, not making any move to walk to your desk and pick up the phone. He looks up at you again, brow furrowed, "Do you need something?"
You shake your head quickly, cheeks burning, "N-no, sorry," you shuffle over to your desk and sit down in your chair, doing everything you can to avoid looking over at him again. You think about what Steve said, how Javier is always looking at you but only when you're not aware. You wonder if he's doing it right now.
You reach for the phone, unable to stop your hands from shaking slightly. You're almost sure you feel his gaze on you now, boring into you and watching every move you make, eyes deep and brown and calculating, always calculating. Assessing. What does he make of you? If what Steve said is true, what does he see when he looks at you?
Sunshine incarnate.
You can't help but smile at the words, dialing the number for the taxi slowly as your brain repeats them over and over. Had he really said that about you? And meant it? Your thoughts are so jumbled that you accidentally press the wrong button and have to start over, hanging up the phone quickly before picking it up again.
Just as you go to press the first number, a hand comes down and stops you, brushing against your fingers in a tender and gentle way. You freeze, staring at the hand, knowing it's his, knowing that if he wasn't looking at you before, he certainly is now.
"Why don't I just give you a ride, cariño?" he asks quietly, voice slightly rough around the edges, "I'm heading home now anyway."
You will yourself to look up, eyes capturing his immediately and getting lost in their depths, big and brown and soft and searching. Your lips part but no words come out. You force yourself to give him a nod, repressing the urge to jump up and kiss his mouth, envelop him, hold him close and look even deeper into those soulful eyes.
You stand shakily and walk to the door, feeling his eyes on your back as he follows behind you. The walk down to the main doors of the building is completely silent, save for the clicking of your heels against the linoleum and his heavy masculine breaths at your side. It's still raining once you get outside, and you can't help but make a face.
"Not a fan of the rain?" he asks you a bit loudly over the pelting of water against the concrete, a smile tugging at his lips.
"It's not my favorite," you admit, wincing, "Where are you parked?"
"You stay here where it's dry, I'll pull it up front."
You watch him dart out from under the eaves of the building, rain immediately soaking his white shirt without apology. You watch with wide eyes as his back becomes visible from the downpour, skin a pinkish brown beneath the suddenly translucent material. You catch sight of two dimples near his lower back before he disappears from eyesight.
You swallow, trying to pretend you don't feel yourself begin to throb within the confines of your underwear, a wetness pooling between your legs that has nothing to do with the rain.
Only a few moments later he's pulling up front, waving at you from behind the car window. You dash forward and feel the rain soak your hair, your skin, your blouse. There was nothing about rain in the forecast this morning so you hadn't thought to bring a jacket with you; you're now regretting that decision greatly.
The passenger side door is already unlocked and you slip inside gratefully, slamming it behind you and exhaling loudly. The rain continues to pelt the windows, the roof, a steady and repetitive sound as you look down at yourself to assess the damage. At least you chose a blue blouse and not a white one, although you can faintly see the shape of your nipples poking through the fabric. A bit self conscious, you cross your arms and huddle forward in the seat.
"Should heat up soon," Javier says beside you, quiet like he'd been in the office, "Seatbelt."
You glance over at him for only a second but regret it instantly, immediately noticing the way the rain has completely soaked his white shirt, exposing the taut and firm muscle beneath, his wide pecs, dark nipples, his flat stomach and belly button, the trail of hair that leads down to...
You grip the seatbelt in your hands and turn your attention to clicking it into place, feeling yourself throb even more. God, he's so fucking hot. You can't blame all the women he's slept with for wanting to get in his pants, he's a fucking Adonis. You take a few deep breaths as he pulls away from the building, focusing on the small bursts of heat that are beginning to radiate from the vents in front of you. You rub your hands together, momentarily forgetting that he could probably see your breasts through your blouse if he looked over.
But that's just it...you never know when he's looking at you. And part of you wonders what would be so bad about him seeing you like this.
You drive together in silence for a few moments, an undeniable tension building and building the longer you both sit there without speaking. Every so often you can't help but let your eyes trail back over to his body, eyeing the way his wet shirt clings to his skin, beginning to slowly dry in small patches from the car heater. You can vaguely make out the shape of a scar on his abdomen and you find yourself wanting to reach out and trace your finger along the length of it, ask him how he got it, kiss it better.
"I feel you watching me, querida," he murmurs, eyes on the road.
Your eyes widen and you sit back in your seat stiffly, "S-sorry."
In your peripheral vision you see him smile, thumbing the steering wheel, "You're always watching me, aren't you?"
You don't know what to say, swallowing tightly around the lump you feel building in your throat. Is he about to call you out? Tell you to stop?
"That's okay, I'm always watching you too," he says it quietly like it's a secret, taking a heavy breath as he continues, "But you know that now, don't you? Steve's a little shit."
You can't help but laugh, which makes him grin wider. He looks over at you and you meet his gaze, feeling shy when his eyes drop to your chest and back up again.
"Don't worry, I'll take care of you," he murmurs, eyes back on the road, "I'll be real gentle, I promise."
You stare at him, slightly confused. It's only a moment later that it dawns on you: you never told him your address.
"Where are we going?" you ask quietly, voice shaking slightly in anticipation.
He gives you another side glance, smiling kindly at you, "I think you already know, cariño."
--
No more than twenty minutes later he has you laid out on his bed completely bare, his mouth pressed firmly against your wet core as you writhe and moan under his touch. His palms are pressed flush against your stomach, holding you to the mattress, never releasing you even when you start shaking uncontrollably from your orgasm. He just keeps going, sucking on your clit and fingering your throbbing hole, nose buried in the patch of hair on your mound.
"Javi, Javi, Javi," you repeat over and over again, thrashing in his sheets, fisting the duvet. He'd told you as soon as he had you in his bed that he didn't want you calling him Javier anymore, and you'd had absolutely no problem with amending your vocabulary.
He hums, giving your clit one last hard suck and making you almost scream with overstimulation, body heaving up off the mattress as he finally pulls away from your core and looks up at you with those big brown eyes.
"That's it, querida, feels so good, doesn't it?" he breathes, crawling back up and pressing kisses against your skin as you come down from the pleasure, heart pounding in your chest, "Your little pussy needed me so bad, didn't she?"
"Yes," you whimper, voice weak, unable to say anything else as he continues to kiss along your breasts, your neck, your cheeks. His mustache is soft and welcoming against your skin, tickling every inch of it in the best way possible as he worships you.
You can't believe you're even here, lying in his bed, lights dim as the rain continues to pelt the windows and drench the city while Javier drenches you. He's still wearing the white shirt, still damp and tucked into his jeans. You reach forward and pull at his belt, fingers trembling.
"Oh, cariño," he coos, kissing the corner of your mouth hungrily, "Want my cock now, do you? Thought that might have been too much for you."
You shake your head quickly, feeling tears sting in your eyes at the thought of him not giving you what you want, "Please," you whisper, voice breaking, "Please, Javi. I need it so bad."
"You do," he agrees, hands trailing upward to squeeze your breasts, thumbing your hard nipples, "You need to get fucked, knew it from the moment I met you. Knew it had to be me to do it."
"Why didn't you say anything?" you ask, voice breathless as he begins to undo his belt, "Why didn't you talk to me?"
"Because you're so pretty, hermosa, so pure," he tosses his belt to the ground and reaches for the hem of his shirt, yanking it over his head. Your eyes fall to his bare chest, his stomach, so much clearer now than they'd been through the wet fabric. He's absolutely perfect, and you feel yourself salivate as you reach up to palm the soft skin of his belly, feeling the hair under your fingertips, tracing the scar you'd seen earlier. He grabs your hand gently, squeezes it, "I knew if I talked to you, you'd end up right here. In my bed."
"And that would be a bad thing?" you whisper, eyes searching his, "This is bad?"
He shakes his head quickly, unbuttoning his jeans, "No, querida, this isn't bad. This is what you need, I know that now," he unzips himself and your jaw goes slack when you see that he isn't wearing any underwear, his cock completely bare and on display beneath the denim. He pulls himself out, showing you how long and thick he is, cut and curved, leaking from the tip. Some of it drips onto your tummy and you both watch it dribble down your skin, dipping into your belly button, "You need it," he whispers, "Knew it when you started looking at me like that."
"Like what?" you breathe, still staring at his large cock, wondering how it'll possibly fit inside you without splitting you in half.
"Like the way you're looking at my cock right now," he says softly, shuffling forward a bit on the bed, "Now, sit up, okay? Give it a kiss."
You don't need telling twice, scrambling amongst the sheets and crouching forward to envelop the head of his cock inside your mouth, warm and sticky on your tongue. You close your eyes, feeling them almost roll back in your head as you suck gently and swallow down his precome, tickling the back of your throat.
"Gonna see how much you can take, okay?" he says quietly above you, and you feel his hands in your hair, stroking your scalp reassuringly, "You can stop if it's too much."
You slowly move forward to take a few more inches, eyes still closed, only opening again when you feel his hands grip your hair tighter. You look up then, eyes lidded and heavy, and he's looking down at you like you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
"Such a pretty mouth," he murmurs, thumbing the base of your neck, "Just made to have my cock in there, huh?"
You nod slowly, breathing through your nose and pushing yourself further, wanting to take as much of him as you possibly can. You get about three quarters down and feel the tip prod the back of your throat. You still, inhaling deeply and feeling tears well in your eyes, silently begging yourself not to gag.
"Just a little more, querida," he whispers, stroking your hair, "You can do it, I know you can."
With his soothing encouragement you slowly take the rest of him, not stopping until your nose is buried in his pubic hair. You inhale again and your senses are overwhelmed by his masculine, sweaty, musky scent. It's heaven. You open your eyes and look up at him, tears welling over and spilling down your cheeks.
"Oh, baby," he says, biting back a moan, "That's so good, knew you could do it," he feels you trembling on his cock, throat closing around the head, and he carefully slides you off.
You start coughing immediately, drool running down your chin in long ropes. You'd feel embarrassed but he's smiling at you, leaning down to press kisses to your forehead.
"You did so good," he praises, wiping your chin with his thumb and kissing your lips tenderly, tasting himself on your tongue, "Took all of it so well, querida."
"I can do it again," you say quickly through another cough, voice rough, "Just gimme a second."
He smiles wider and shakes his head, "I know you can, but you don't need to, not tonight. Just wanted to see if you could take the whole thing in that pretty mouth," he thumbs your lips and you immediately capture it between them, sucking his thumb feverishly. He groans slightly, watching it disappear, "and now that I know you can... we need to see how well it fits inside that perfect little pussy, hm? Think it'll fit?"
You nod immediately, releasing his thumb with a pop, "I'll make it fit."
He groans again, getting off the bed and pulling his jeans down his legs, "That's what I like to hear, baby." He pulls open his bedside table and grabs a condom, tossing it over to you, "Now put that on my dick, cariño, gotta be safe."
You shuffle to the edge of the bed, ripping the condom open with your teeth and sliding it down his length. You feel his eyes on you now; you'd never been able to feel it before, had no idea he'd even been looking at you, and now it's like his gaze is burning your skin. You lean forward and press one more kiss to the head of his cock, smirking when it twitches.
"Come here, hermosa," he mutters, taking your hand and carefully pulling you off the bed. You both stand there naked in front of each other as he leans down to kiss you tenderly, hand trailing up to press flush against your back. He's so beyond everything you could have ever hoped for; you still can't believe this is actually happening, "Stay there for a second," he whispers.
You watch as he gets on the bed and sits at the top, back leaning against the headboard. His cock stands stiff and inviting beneath him as he splays his legs out and opens his arms.
"Sit on my cock, querida," he breathes, and without any hesitation you climb into his lap, legs shaking as you grip his shoulders and hover above him, "Nice and slow," he whispers, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips, "That's it."
The tip of his cock breaches your entrance and you keen at the sensation, still shaking slightly as you slowly ease yourself down on him. You're so wet, his length slipping inside easily at first, but once you get about halfway down your hips stutter and you whimper.
"You got it, baby," he breathes, thumbs splayed across your belly, "Not much more," he pushes inside a bit further and you cry out in ecstasy, burying your face in his shoulder. His hands move to your back, holding you tightly against him as he continues to fill you, not stopping until he bottoms out, "There," he murmurs, rubbing circles into the skin of your back, "That's all of it, cariño. Did so good, taking it so well for me."
You sit like that for a few moments, him whispering praises in your ear and rubbing your skin soothingly. He's so thick inside you, you've never felt so full. After a few more moments he carefully grips your hips and slowly begins to move you on his cock, up and down, watching your expression and reveling in the whines emitting from your throat.
"That's it," he says, brow furrowed as he keeps his eyes on your face, "That's what a real cock feels like, querida, and it's the only one you're gonna get from now on." Your face scrunches up in pleasure and you find yourself hiding in his shoulder again, wrapping your arms around him and starting to move your hips to match his pace.
"Javi," you whimper, feeling the head of his cock pushing against the deepest part of you every time you brace down, "So big inside me, Javi."
"I know, cariño," he murmurs, soothing you again with a gentle rub to your back, "Filling you up so good, huh?"
You hum and let yourself go, nose pressed into the dip of his collarbone as you still on his cock and let him go back to working you up and down, murmuring in your ear about how good you feel, what a perfect girl you are, how you'll never fuck anyone else but him for the rest of your life. And you want to believe it's true.
"Work won't be the same anymore," you say against his skin, voice muffled.
"Christ, baby, you're thinking about work?" he taps on your neck and you pull back to look at him, shivering as he continues to fuck you relentlessly as he speaks to you, "Don't think about work right now, querida, not when I've got my cock buried inside you."
"I want you to start fucking me at work," you say suddenly, brow furrowing in pleasure as he hits the deepest part of you again, "In secret, please."
He stills for a second, surprise appearing on his face before he smiles, starts fucking you again with even more fervor, grunting with very thrust.
"Of course I will, baby," he says, pressing his forehead against yours, gripping your hips tighter and fucking you fast and hard, so much so that you feel yourself writhe off the bed again, fingers clasping around nothing as you moan loudly, "I told you, ever since I met you I knew you needed this, needed my cock," he kisses you then, wet and hot, and you feel the tension in your belly start to build, "Gonna give it to you every chance I get from now on, I promise."
You whimper at his words, fucking yourself down on him as hard as you can and letting out cries of pure bliss as he begins to hit your favorite spot over and over, so impossibly deep inside you that you think maybe he will split you open. He rises off the bed with you a bit, holding you tight to him as he wildly bucks into you, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.
"Gonna come, hermosa," he whispers in your ear, breath hot and sticky against your skin, "Give me one more, get that pussy all wet for me," you let out an inhuman sound and feel yourself involuntarily bite into his shoulder, making him groan.
"I'm sorry," you moan, pulling back and seeing the crescent shaped mark in his flesh.
"For what?" he groans, and you feel his thumb start to prod your clit, rubbing it furiously, "Do it again, baby, mark me up, make me yours," you feel your orgasm overtake you at the words, fingernails digging into his back as you writhe and cry in his arms. Without hesitation you bite down on him again, not hard enough to break the skin but enough that there will most certainly be a mark there tomorrow.
He groans at the sensation, pulling you impossibly closer and stilling inside you as he pumps the condom full of his spend, twitching inside you at every pulse. He doesn't pull out right away, just lays still within you while you pant against his shoulder, eyeing the purple mark beginning to bloom on his skin.
"I bit you," you say, eyes wide.
He shifts slightly beneath you, cock still filling you up as he chuckles, "Yes, you did."
"I'm sor-"
He puts a hand up, shaking his head, "Don't apologize, cariño, I like it."
You nod slowly and carefully pull yourself off his cock, already missing the full sensation of having him deep inside you. You lay back on the bed beside him, eyes closed as he disposes of the condom and then settles himself tightly against your side, spooning you and pressing gentle kisses to the back of your neck.
"Did you mean what you said?" you ask quietly, eyes still closed as you feel yourself begin to drift off in his embrace, "Will you really fuck me at work?"
He laughs, gorgeous and perfect in your ear, "Yes, mi sol, I meant it."
--
Javi takes you home early the next morning so you can change your clothes, not wanting Steve to know about what happened last night, as much as it would probably tickle him to know he had a hand in it. He waits for you outside, listening to the radio in his car and squinting against the bright sun, fingers tapping against the base of the window absentmindedly. After a few moments you come back out, wearing a yellow blouse this time in honor of your new nickname. He smiles radiantly at you and you know you made a good choice.
You both manage to keep Steve completely in the dark for the first part of the day; Javi goes back to ignoring you the way he usually does, which you have to admit makes you feel a little bad. But it's all water under the bridge when he follows you to the women's bathroom around noon and locks you inside one of the stalls with him. A few seconds later his cock is hitting the back of your throat as he proves to you that he wasn't lying.
--
"What's that?" Steve says in the late afternoon, only about an hour until you can go home. You look up from your desk but he isn't talking to you, his gaze fixed on Javi.
"What?" Javi replies, brow furrowing as he looks down at himself, "Got a bug on me or something?"
"No, you have a bite mark on your shoulder," Steve says matter-of-factly, and you feel your cheeks go hot, eyes widening as you stare at Javier and watch him figure out what to say.
He just shrugs coolly, "Yeah, slept with this wild bonita last night, she wanted to mark me," he looks back down at his work, "Your wife ever do shit like that, Murphy?"
Steve sighs deeply, leaning back in his chair, "No, she doesn't."
"Thought so," Javi smirks, still not looking up from his paperwork, and you watch as Steve twists his mouth into a scowl, shaking his head.
A few seconds later Steve's looking over at you, giving you a small look of what you can only describe as sympathy, "Sorry," he mouths, shrugging dejectedly, "My bad."
You give him a smile in return, shaking your head, unable to help the rush you feel at not getting caught.
"It's okay," you mouth back, "I'll get over it."
You know Javi is watching you this time.
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thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed it and here's my kofi if you'd like to leave a tip (entirely optional of course but much appreciated).
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jillsandwhichs · 22 days
Text
Joel Miller x Reader Smutshot Collection , Chap 3 , Husbandly Duties
Masterlist
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Pairing: F!Reader x Joel Miller
Summary: It is yours and Joel's 3rd year wedding anniversary and he makes sure it is spent well
Status of your guy's relationship in this one shot: Married
WC: 5.7k
Type: NSFW
Warnings: Making out, Dirty talk, Slight foreplay, P in V, No protection, Joel cums inside of you, Missionary, Choking, Spitting kink, Joel is soft but not too soft, Clit rubbing & possibly more
A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you
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Work, work, work and more work. This damn job is draining your mental health. You love being an office worker, sure, you get a lot of free time and the work you do isn't hard, at all, but it is so time consuming and insanely boring. You'd kill someone if it meant you could have a normal schedule and go home at a decent time. You miss your old job, it was crappy, but the schedule was great and you got to go home at the same exact time, every single day you worked there.
It is 8:00 PM already and you've been working since 10:30 AM, it's been a terribly long day.
What makes it a billion times worse is the fact it is your and Joels three year anniversary. In total, you've been together for five years, but you guys got married three years ago, it was a wonderful day filled with love and gleam. You miss it and you remember it like it was yesterday. Your dress was long and beautiful, you looked gorgeous. Joel was dashing that day, he is everyday of course, but that particular day he was perfect.
The day was beautiful too. August 13th 2012, your most favorite day. But with your luck, you had to work and Joel did not. You wish you could be home with him at this very moment, having a tasty dinner with him while watching a movie, then afterwards he rearranges your guts...
You've been day dreaming of that today, honestly. You've been horny, ovulation isn't for the weak. You've been craving your husband all fucking day. You'd do anything to be with him right now, you truly would.
Aside from that, you have to focus. You're on your final document, the more you concentrate, the faster it'll get done. Joel is going to pick you up from work, so that's something to look forward too and you can't wait to see him. You can't wait to be beside him again. You want to touch him, and kiss him, hug him, everything. You just miss your husband, so very much. It is definitely a mix of your clinginess, ovulation & sadness.
Alas, you began to transfer all your brain and will power into your work, the sooner, the absolute better.
-
Finally! You're finished. The first thing you did was whip out your phone to text your husband, hopefully the dummy didn't fall asleep. You know his job is also tough on him, he's a contractor, it is very hands on work and it's understandable that he is exhausted more than the average person. You began to type out your message until you officially finished it, then you sent it to him.
"Handsome, I finished working. Come get me. Love you."
You were so ready to be home.
Whenever you have to wait for Joel, you just relax in your office either on your phone or your computer. Luckily, despite this being a plain Jane office job, you have your very own office. It's designed to your liking. When you got it officially, Joel helped you decorate it; He's genuinely a life saver. One time, when he came to pick you up, he came up to your office to help you carry some things down... He ended up having to carry you as well due to your legs being way too wobbly...
You turned your computer off and slightly reorganized your desk top. When you come into work tomorrow, you don't want it to look the same as it does now. This is like a ritual at this point, cleaning up your work space daily. It's a great habit to have. You set your pens and pencils back into their case and you set your mouse pad back in its original position, placing the wireless black mouse on top of it. You made sure your personal spaces looked spotless and your desk was no exception.
Your phone buzzed on the white desk top, Joel messaged you. He never texts back too late. The longest you can recall was twenty minutes and that is because he was working. He's truly a wonder, no man you've met was willing to do such a thing, answering quickly. Your ex prioritized his games over you, it was exhausting but now, you have yourself a real man - Joel.
His message read:
"Alright sweetheart, on my way. I love you too."
The message made your heart melt.
Joel is such a sweet man. He's rough on the edges and cold at times, but he's your baby at the end of the day. You see sides of him that no one else does. His brother, Tommy, when you first met him described him as an asshole but once you got to know him, your perception totally changed. You are grateful for Tommy though, he introduced you to Joel. Without him, who knows where you would have ended up or whom you'd end up with.
Once you two started dating, you had asked Joel what he thought of you when he met you and his response was touching.
"I saw you and knew one day, we'd end up like this. How we are now, I just knew it after getting to know you little by little."
He even repeated those very words in his vows to you on your guy's Wedding day.
Oh how you miss that day - The amount of love and faith passed around that day was joyous. Now, today you get to celebrate it all over again, a tradition you are more than okay with uplifting. Last year, you put on your Wedding dress, Joel his suit, and you two danced around your living room. The little moments like that are precious and sacred. You don't plan to do that this year, you'd rather go home and eat something, but it is a sweet subject.
You found yourself biting on the end of your pen as you thought about him and all the two of you have been through. You're like a school girl who gets her very first crush. You're obsessed with Joel, you'll admit it. It isn't a bad thing, not at all. You're happy to be with a guy who has you all over him. If you weren't, it wouldn't be a very passionate and fulfilling relationship, now would it?
"Gosh." You giggled to yourself, dropping the pen into its case. You stood up and double checked your office - Everything is in check. You, unfortunately, do work tomorrow so you want this office to be pristine when you come back. You may be bored and spent, but you aren't those enough to put yourself through hell tomorrow morning. But, everything seemed well enough.
You decided you'd wait outside for him to arrive. There are benches surrounding the front of the large, industrial building that you could wait on. Usually, you stay in your office and await a message from him but the sooner you're out there, the absolute better.
With your phone, drink and purse in hand(s), you made way out of the office building. The company you work for primarily focuses on having customers purchase things you sell; You work in the department for selling goods such as food, clothes and more. Other departments include things such as outside work and children's toys and wear. This section has always worked best for you and it's HQ is massive, you've always felt important walking into and out of the establishment.
Your office was set on the third floor and you couldn't complain, others were in the sixth or seventh. All you have to do is use the elevator and leave. You won't lie, sometimes you're a bit nervous doing this, in fear of the wrong person being outside when you are as well. You shoved those scary thoughts to the side, wanting to focus on the good and the possibility of greatness.
Exiting your office, you saw one of your coworkers, Leroy, leaving his office too. "Hi." "Hey stranger, you heading out?" "I am. Joel is picking me up." "Good to hear, once again, happy anniversary to the two of you." "Thanks Lee, we seriously appreciate that." Leroy was always a kind soul. He's an older man, he's wise and witty, you've always enjoyed that about him. Joel has always been a bit sketchy about the men you endorse yourself with but Leroys never bothered him. In fact, they've spoken a good few times.
"You leaving as well?" "I sure am, I also won't be here tomorrow." "Why's that?" "My sons wife is having my grandchild tomorrow, I can't wait to meet the little one." Leroy expressed great love for his children and grandchildren. He has three kids, two sons and a daughter. He also has four grandkids, three from his son and this upcoming one from his second son. From the pictures you've seen, they're so stinking cute! "That's amazing Leroy, congratulations." You are happy for both him and the parents. Such a blessing.
Kids was never a topic you and Joel much discussed. You want them someday for sure, but not yet, you want to wait maybe another year or two. Joel is great with children from what you have seen. When he met your younger siblings, he was so gentle with them, even sat down and played with them. Moments like those make you want to have babies sooner but you must wait, it isn't the time... Yet...
The elevator began to desend both you and Leroy down it and onto the first floor where the exit was.
When it opened, you stepped out of it alongside him. The two receptionists said bye to you both.
"I'll see you soon Leroy, have a good time meeting your grandbaby." You said to him with a friendly voice. "I sure will, take care!" Leroy shouted as he got into his truck and drove off into the moonlight.
You were all alone. You sat down on the wooden bench near the entrance of the establishment and waited there. The drive from your home to your work isn't all too bad, maybe ten minutes at the most but Joel tends to speed on the back roads and that gets him here much sooner than normally. You couldn't wait to arrive at home. Something different about you is the smell of places, they bring you different feelings and senses.
At work, you feel normal, just fine & content. The way the atmosphere is at work is boring, you don't have much fun there ever and you truly only like it for its isolation purposes and it's amazing pay. Home smells like Joel, who is your comfort and your joy. At home, you can let loose and be your honest self - Your best version. You have transferred your home into what was once a regular, janky house into a safe space for you and your husband to gladly share.
If you and Joel do have children someday, they'll surely be smothered in affection.
Gazing up at the countless stars in the sky, you tried to pass the time. It felt like ages before Joel actually arrived. You are also just utterly impaitent, you want to be home now. "Ugh." You groaned out, tossing your head back on the bench, a pouty look forming on your face; You texted him.
"Handsome, hurry, I miss you."
That'll get him speeding.
Joel is a smart guy, he is safe but also risky all at once. You worry for him, of course you do, but you trust him with your life. You practically trust him with anything. If he had to perform a transfusion on you, honestly, you'd let him. Joel is your lover and you love him more than he could ever imagine. Some may find it questionable, how much you have faith in him, but you don't at all, it's just how it is when you're in a relationship like your very own.
A buzz came from your phone whilst you were roaming the never ending thoughts that spiral in your head.
"Just entered town baby, now you be a patient girl and wait."
That got you wet, bingo.
Joel being strict has always had you in a chokehold.
"Fine."
And send.
-
That very recognizable black, lifted truck pulled into the parking lot. It's headlights were shining brighter than a diamond as they came through. Joel tinted them, the beam of them dimming as he parked and got out of the truck. He looked as good as ever, your handsome husband. He didn't park too far from the building either, it'd be only a couple seconds to walk to it but Joel is too much of a gentleman to let you amble there alone.
"Hey babygirl." Joel said in his deep, Southern voice as he spotted you. "Hi honey." You stood up, running up to him and jumping into his burly arms. Joel accepted your hug with open arms, a chuckle emitting from him as he held you. "Ya miss me baby?" He squeezed you, kissing the side of your head and getting a whiff of your fruity scented hair - He loves it. "So much." "I missed you too." Joel gruffly mumbled against your neck, pressing kisses to it.
The hug was long and loving. You missed him very much, especially his touch. Your guy's anniversary means the world to you and him, you didn't want to waste anymore time.
"Take me home." You laughed, still being held by him. "Sure thing darlin'." He replied, not putting you down but instead carrying you to the truck. You do have a personal vehicle but it is in the shop right now, so Joel has been driving you to and from work. Even when you do have your car, he'll drive you sometimes just for extra time. It's sweet, truly. Joel opened the passenger side door, the truck light turning back on when he did. The truck smelt great, he must've inputted a new air freshener. "Get in baby." He patted your ass as you got into the truck.
You scoffed playfully, sitting down and buckling in. The smell was actually amazing; The scent was earthy and woodsy - It's definitely Joel's vibe. He then got in after you, an audible grunt being heard from him as he sat down. You couldn't help but smile and admire him. He is wearing a stained blue t shirt with faded blue jeans, it appears to be casual clothes, or his work clothes. He didn't have to work today, yet you did, kind of bullshit.
He started the truck up and began to drive you two home.
"Leroy is having another grandbaby." You started up a conversation. "Is that so? Well, good for him then." Joel responded. He didn't know Leroy as well as you. "Yeah, thought it was cool, the baby being born around our anniversary." You giggled, leaning against the center console and looking at Joel. "Sure. And by the way, happy anniversary baby." Joel added on. He didn't forget, you know that, you two exchanged some kisses and cuddles this morning in honor of it. "I'm sorry you had to work today, on our special day." Joel concluded.
He's such a sweetheart.
"It isn't your fault, honey, it's not really anyones." You commented, taking his free hand in yours. Joel glanced over at you and gave you a hearty smile, knowing how much today meant to you. "I have a surprise for you at home." "You do, what is it?" "Now doll, if I told ya, that wouldn't be much of a surprise now would it?" Joel chuckled, bringing your soft, small hand up to his face and kissing it gently. "Well, you already revealed there's a surprise at home for me." "I did." "So... Wouldn't that mean it isn't much of a surprise?" "Can you just be quiet, my dear?" He teased you, his corners creasing as he bellowed.
Oh that smile and the way his eyes change as he laughs, it warms your big heart. You love seeing Joel happy and well, it makes you feel out of this world. "I love you." "I love you sweetheart." He replied, putting your hand down and instead moving his hand to your thigh. You let out a soft sigh, enjoying his touch. Although, usually whenever he grabs your thigh, it turns into something much more but you won't complain.
You rested your head against the window, looking out at the night sky. It was pretty. Your Wedding night was gorgeous too. It rained that day though, you love the rain but surely not on your Wedding day. You kind of, in a way, hoped it would rain tonight. It would be something special to you. When it was raining that night, you and Joel kissed passionately under the dazzling moonlight, embracing each other as you did. It was so memorable and you often catch yourself thinking about it.
Also, you were very curious as to what the upcoming surprise Joel has for you is. It could be anything. It's obviously for your anniversary, so it has to be wonderful, right? Anything Joel does for you isn't taken lightly, you love it all and cherish it equally. He puts in the effort and that is what matters most to you. You'd just have to wait the car ride out to see what it was.
Joel's hand still rested on your thigh and he'd squeeze it every so often, making you more and more wet. It's not shocking - Joel's touch has always been able to do that to you. You couldn't wait to get home with him, maybe he'd let you have him tonight.
Sometimes he's just too tired and that is understandable, he's a contractor after all, a busy man, you'd never ever pressure him into something he isn't in the mood for. But hopefully, he's in the mood tonight.
-
Pulling into the driveway of your guy's shared suburban home, Joel released a grunt as he parked his truck directly in front of the garage; To him, it was pointless to waste time driving it into it. He took his keys out of the ignition and gave you a quick look of 'C'mon' before he then opened his door, hopping out of the truck. You did the same. As you climbed out of the truck, you saw Joel waiting at the front porch for you. Such a silly man.
You shut the door and ran up to him, a contagious giggle came from you. You were excited, curious on what this socalled surprise was going to end up being. "I'm going to need you to close your eyes." Joel said softly, his hands going to your hips as he caressed them; He plans to hold you as you walk, just for safety measures. "Okay..." You hesitated but closed them shut & tightly, truly not wanting to ruin the surprise at all.
"Alright..." Joel spoke out with his deep, gruff voice. He opened the front door and began to lead you through the house and up to your guy's bedroom. You knew that's where you two were headed considering he had to literally carry you up the stairs. "I'm nervous." "Don't be sweetheart." He kissed your cheek and set you down as you reached the top.
The sound of him opening the bedroom door was heard loud and clear and afterwards, he ushered you into the room. Already, it smelt lovely, like roses. "Mmm, the smell." "Glad you like it, doll." Joel hummed, his hands now going over each eye. "Now, babygirl, you ready?" "Yes, I am." You snorted, your arms resting at your sides. "Ok." Joel laughed, removing his hands and allowing you to finally see what he had done for you and oh, it was magnificent.
All across the bed were rose petals, scattered neatly. The lights were dimmed, causing the atmosphere to seem very sensual. There was also a tiny, red box on the bed that you didn't pick up immediately, but once you did, you took a quick scan of the rest of the room. It was fully cleaned, he actually cleaned for once. The bed was even wonderfully made, for now... On your guy's dresser were lit candles, and that snapped you out of reality.
"You dumbass, did you leave candles lit when you came to get me?" "Hon, it was a sacrifice I was willin' to make." You scoffed. This man sometimes... Although, you couldn't help but titter and the laughter only increased once you opened up the red box. You were surprised, that's for damn sure, but also super happy. Inside was the morning after pill and instantly, you knew what he was implying. "Jesus Christ." You began to laugh hard, too hard, to the point you flopped onto the bed.
Seeing you lose it, also caused Joel too.
"Gosh baby, this is just-" You laughed so hard, you couldn't breath and Joel had to calm you down.
"Alright sweetheart, breathe." He snickered, cupping your face in his larger sized hands. You let out a deep breath, trying to collect yourself but it was hard. This man went out of his way to buy an expensive ass pill just to be able to cum inside of you, such a jack rabbit. "Okay, okay, I'm good." You sat up and rested our head against his lap. "Joel Miller, you're such a funny man." "And Mrs. Miller, you're such a beautiful woman and I'd like you to let me show you just how much I love you tonight." Oh his words...
You sat up, climbing into his lap as fast as you could. You were so happy he was down for this, especially on a night like this one. You encased your arms around his neck as you pulled him in for a deep, long & passionate kiss. Joel's arms went around your back, pulling you as close to him as he could. He longed for this, all damn day and so did you. Your guy's lips moved in a sloppy manner as you made out, just wanting each other ASAP and not being able to remove your hands from one another.
He gripped your ass, grinding you against his lap as he held you. Your pussy only got more wet by the second, each push & each pull made you yearn for him badly. "Joel..." "I know baby." He huffed, going back to kissing you with love. You held onto his scruffy face, your nails scratching lightly against his beard, enjoying how manly he was. His lips felt so heavenly against yours, his have always been the perfect match. Your guy's lips were like puzzle pieces that were finally able to connect.
"Mmm, here." You suddenly pulled from the kiss and began to unbutton your work shirt with the help of Joel's needy hands. He speedily removed it, tossing it to the floor and his singular hand snapping your bra off; You two were getting into it immediately. Joel brought his head down to your breast, suckling on your nipple and in his other hand, fondling the breast beside it. "Oh!" You moaned, tossing your hand back as your fingers roamed through his shaggy hair.
Joel has a huge thing for your tits, he thinks they're perfect.
"My girls." Joel rumbled out, kissing your tits numerous times whilst rubbing them. You giggled as you watched him, he was like a kid with their prized possession. He went back to suckling on them, both of his hands holding your lower back now. You held his head in your hands, practically babying him as he licked your nipples and kissed your breasts. "You're so sexy." You whispered, kissing the top of his head.
Your husband looked up at you, desperation full in his eyes. It is so clear he craves you just as you crave him. He kissed you gently as he flipped you onto the bed, a cute chuckle releasing from you as he did. He laughed as well, seeing you all giddy was always sure to do the same to him. He crawled on top of you, his hands going to the end of his blue shirt, pulling it off with a smile whilst he gazed at you. "Are we just going to fuck with all these rose petals on the bed?" "Adds to it darlin', don't ya think?" He teased, going down to your neck and biting it.
You tittered, holding onto him as he marked his territory all along your neck. "Mmm, need you inside of me." You whined with a giggle. You seriously needed your husband at this point, you needed his member. "Oh, is that so?" "Mhm." You mumbled, looking up at him with soft, doe-like eyes. "Alright babygirl." Joel laughed, leaning up so he'd be on his knees.
His hands went to your waist, his hands fidgeting with the buttons of your tight, formal jeans. You were required to dress nicely, not casual, each day to work. You usually wore a blouse and jeans, which is exactly what you wore today. "Damn fuckin' jeans." Joel grumbled, unbuttoning all three of the tabs before practically ripping them off of you. You squealed, now only in your panties. Joel smirked, the sight of you absolutely jaw dropping.
"You're so fuckin' beautiful sweetheart." Joel praised you, your wetness increased when he did. You lifted your waist up, a groan coming from you whilst you did. You pulled down your underwear and handed them to Joel, expecting that he'd toss them to the side as always but instead, he balled them up and sniffed them, his brown eyes closing as he embraced your scent. "Lord..." Joel hummed, stuffing the panties into his pocket real quick.
"Babe!" You scoffed while giggling, "You never do that." "Can't help myself, you smell good." He responded; He can be so cocky sometimes.
You stared as he removed his jeans. His erect cock flung out from his tight boxers, his pre-cum visible due to the light in the room. You sighed softly as he climbed back on top of you. You held your legs up, knowing he'd eventually place them on his shoulders for more support... And so that he can go deeper inside of you, but that's beside the point.
He adjusted himself into a position that was comfortable for the both of you. Joel was not selfish, especially during love making. He put you before himself, making sure you always feel pleased and for fucking sure making sure you cum first, always. You can't even recall a time he came before you because he's always too worried about your please - Not an issue to you though. "Can't wait to feel ya." Joel mumbled, grabbing his dick and lining it up to your soaked entrance.
You accepted him, accepted every part of him and waited patiently for him to move inside of you.
The tip of his cock teased your entrance as he so slowly pushed himself inside of you. Inch after inch, you couldn't quite make a call as to when he'd stop until a few seconds later. A whopping 7 inches wasn't something to scoff at. "Oh baby." You whimpered, your arms wrapped around his torso and on his upper back. Your hands were flat on it, the heat emitting from his back absorbed onto your hand, bringing a heated feeling to your own body. "So fuckin' tight baby, you feel great." Joel muttered as he stopped himself inside of you.
He gave you a moment to adjust and get used to him. It was not common for you two to fuck without a condom, so it felt different, it felt better. You gave him a nod, letting him know you were ready and that he could move. "Alright baby, tell me to stop if needed." He was always so respectful. Ever since the first time you two had sex, he's been this way, it never changed no matter how comfortable you two got with one another. "Mhm." You nodded, your eyebrows scrunching as he began to slide in & out of your core.
Each movement felt wonderful. He was so careful, making sure you didn't get hurt by his upcoming roughness. Joel is a softie at heart, mainly with you. No matter the circumstances, you come first. "You're squeezin' me, fuck." Joel laughed, his forehead pressed against yours as he fucked your cunt, making you drip onto him. "Oh yes." You moaned, your hands quickly moving to his forearms for better stability. Your nails dug into them, your lip also digging into your lower one. "That'a girl." Joel chuckled, his speed increasing every so slightly.
You couldn't keep your eyes off of him and his body. He's so perfect, in every way, shape and form. You love this man to death. His cock stroked your walls beautifully, each push and pull earning a quiet whimper out of you. You held him close, the warmth of his body only enhancing the experience of this shared love making. "Fuck sweetheart." He grunted into your ear, his breath hot, it was sexy. "What?" You whined out, holding onto his head still. "I feel like I'm gon' cum already." You loved how he spoke to you.
He lifted himself up from the crook of your neck, his eyes on yours as he grinned at you. His pace began to quicken and the force of his hips increased in roughness, you didn't mind, you only embraced it. "Harder Joel." You panted, touching him all over. "Mmm, you're so pretty, such a pretty little sweet thing." Your husband groaned out to you.
The sounds of his manhood slamming against your womanly hood was loud and so lewd. It was very erotic and attractive in a way. The room smelt like floral and sex, two of your favorite things. You could smell the faded cologne on Joel too, your favorite scent he owns. You had on his favorite perfume, hopefully he took notice of that. "Can't wait to cum so deep inside of this pretty little pussy of yours." Joel managed to speak out, clearly so indulged inside of you. The pleasure was taking over him and you assumed this would be the first time he finished first.
As he gawked at you, you whimpered out a squeak as he began to choke you. Of course, it didn't hurt, he was like a gentle giant, making sure it was just a light grip. One hand held both of your wrists down against the bed whereas the other held your pale, little neck. "Just keep starin' at me, I wanna look into those soft eyes as I cum in you." His way of dirty talking was relentless and always brought you closer to the damn edge.
By the look on his face, you could so easily tell what he wanted to do next and he wouldn't have to ask you twice.
"Open that mouth babygirl."
The words made your stomach twist in the most pleasurable, divine way imaginable.
You opened your mouth up for him, a whine releasing from deep inside you as the hold on your neck tightened, along with his pumps becoming more sloppy and reckless. He spit in your mouth, his white salvia dripping into your pretty, pink mouth. He watched, glory in his eyes. This was something Joel was really into and when he had first brought it up to you, you were totally irked by it.
"Uhm, no baby, that's gross." "Give it a shot baby."
And you did, you never regretted it.
You swallowed his spit, your eyes watering as you did, not because you were grossed out or anything but because you were so fucking close to the edge, you could taste it. "Atta girl." He unpinned your wrists now, his free hand going down to your clit; He could tell you needed to cum now.
Gazing into his eyes, your eyes were filled with desire and lust, you longed for him all day and finally, he was giving you exactly what you wanted. His chokehold only brought you more pleasure as his fingers worked their magnificent magic on your nub. "Cum baby." He purred to you, his chokehold now moving into a caressing of your cheek. You couldn't cum yet, you wanted to hold back as long as you could but he wouldn't let up. Rubbing you faster, he said, "Hon, you gotta cum or else I'll finish first." He spoke so sternly, it was the tone you needed.
All around his dick, you came, your back arching. Joel shushed you lovingly as he held you close, still pumping himself into you. "Mmm, such a good girl, you did well." He praised you, his face buried in your hair. He embraced you so sweetly. You could feel him deep inside of you still, the sensitivity heightening, over stimulation occuring. "Please cum." You whispered, wanting him to just finish. "Kiss me then." Joel grunted, smashing his lips against yours. You cupped his face and licked his lower lip, your tongue swirling inside of his mouth now.
With a few more thrusts, Joel came deep inside of you. You could feel his warm seed shooting through you like a fish in water. You moaned loudly, loud enough for Joel's eyes to widen, then for a chuckle to come out afterwards. "Dear God." You sighed softly, coming down from your high and from the feeling of him - He recovered rather hastely.
Joel pulled out of you and grabbed a random T shirt of his, cleaning the two of you up with it.
"You best not wear that after you just wiped us off." "Imma wear it." Joel shut down your statement, you opened your mouth in disgust, but deep down it was pretty hot of him.
"Anywho, happy anniversary doll." Joel grunted, plopping down beside you and pulling you closer towards him. "Happy anniversary, Joel." You kissed his nose and soon, the tired man was out like a bulb.
170 notes · View notes
worldlxvlys · 9 months
Note
pls pls write a mini lil smutty blurb fic thingy for your dealer chris series!!!
only fans
dwb! chris x reader
warnings: nsfw (don’t read if it bothers you) + mention of drugs, p in v, idk y’all it’s smut
this is based off of the dwb! chris series, the specific set of texts are here if you want to read !!
this def isn’t a blurb lmao 😭
hope you still like tho :)
•••• •••••••• ••••
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sure enough, when i opened the door chris was standing there. the look in his eyes told me that he had every intention to ruin me. fuck.
“so you gonna show me what your only fans viewers get to see?” he asked, his voice low and raspy.
“chris it was a joke, i swear i don’t have an only fans account”
“you better not” he growled as he pulled me inside and closed my door.
“bedroom. now.” he said as i followed him to my room.
“get on the bed and strip for me like the slut you are” and without a word, i did exactly that.
his gaze was intense and never strayed from my body.
slowly, i peeled off my shirt and bra. my sweats and panties following soon after.
“fucking hell ma you’re so fucking gorgeous. every fucking inch of your body is beautiful” he said as he left kisses all over my body, getting closer and closer to my heat with each kiss.
chris gave a kiss to my clit, and shoved two fingers in me.
“chris!” i moaned out in total bliss.
his pace was relentless, i was barely even able to form any words.
“yeah? you like that? i know you do baby, making such pretty sounds”
he somehow picked up speed, making me cry out even louder.
“mmmm chris feels so fucking good”
he then curled his fingers, hitting my g-spot perfectly.
“oh my gosh chris”
“who else makes you feel this good baby? huh?”
“n-no one chris, only you”
my legs started shaking and i couldn’t focus on anything other than his long, slender fingers drilling in and out of me as though they were created to do only that.
i felt the familiar knot in my stomach and knew that i was getting closer and closer.
“fuck ma, feel you clenching around my fingers. go ahead, cum all over my fingers baby”
and with that, i let go around his fingers.
before i could even catch my breath, he leaned down and licked up all of my juices.
“fuck ma, you taste so good” he said as he planted quick kisses on both of my thighs.
“you have way too many clothes on” i tell him, realizing he is fully clothed.
“let’s fix that” i said as i quickly helped rid his body of the clothing.
“want me to fuck you into your mattress now baby? or did you want me to find someone else to do it? i know how much you love to joke that you’re gonna find someone else to fuck”
“no chris, just want you”
“hmm, i think you should get on your knees and fuckin beg”
“are you serious right now chris?” i asked with a roll of my eyes.
“if you don’t want me, you don’t have to baby” he said as he reached for his boxers.
“no no, please chris! please fuck me! need you so fuckin bad right now”
“there you go baby” he said before he grabbed me by the waist, flipping me onto my stomach.
“did you want me to record this for your only fans?” he asked condescendingly.
“chris shut the fuck up and fuck me already “ i said, starting to get annoyed.
he pushed my head into my pillow, pulling my hips up so my ass was in the air.
“so fucking impatient baby” he said as he gave himself a few quick strokes and pushed his dick into me.
“holyyyy shit chris” i moaned out, surprised at his lack of warning.
“mmmmm fuck” he groaned as he bottomed out.
he then started moving at a brutal pace, again, without warning.
“fuck so good chris, fuckin love your cock so much”
“takin me so well baby, such a good fuckin girl”
he slid in and out of me so perfectly, like we were made for each other.
he leaned forward, his chest pressing against my back as he kissed my neck.
“think i should mark you up some more, make sure everyone knows that you’re mine.”
“fuck yes baby, love it when you mark me up”
he began leaving kisses and leaving dark, purple marks along my neck and upper back.
he never once slowed his movements, instead picking up speed as we both got closer and closer to finishing.
“fuck ma, you gonna let me fill you with my cum?”
“yes yes, need it so fucking bad chris”
my legs start to shake again, and his thrusts turn sloppy as we approach our highs.
“fuck i’m gonna cum baby, cum with me” he says as he continues to pound into me.
as soon as i felt his cum shoot into me, i came on his cock with a loud cry.
“fuck chris”.
breathing heavily, he pulled and watched both of our juices spill out of me and onto the bed.
“so if i do start an only fans, will you fuck me like that again?”
“you’re not starting an only fans.”
••••• ••••••••••• •••••
not to be cocky or anything, but why’d i kinda eat?
every single day y’all make me seem like more of a liar 😭 cause why y’all got me actually writing fics tf
lmk what you think <333
masterlist
dwb! chris masterlist
tag list: @lovingsturniolo @lustfulslxt @gwenlore @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @chrissturnioloswifey @queen161718 @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @stramboli4life @vib3swithanuk
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mermaidgirl30 · 6 months
Text
✨Take Me to Wonderland✨
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A/N: Thank you so much @5oh5 for being my beta, I so appreciate it 🩷 This fic took over my mind last week and I just had to write it out. This one was super self-indulgent for me. I’ve always loved Alice in Wonderland and thought I could definitely pull Joel into the mix. I hope you enjoy going to Wonderland with Joel 🥹
Summary: You find yourself in Wonderland, but you think you’ve been here before. And the handsome stranger, Joel Miller, is someone that definitely seems familiar.
Pairing: Joel x fem! reader
Word Count: 14.7k
Rating: Explicit (18+ Only MDNI)
Tags: Soft Joel, soft dom! Joel, no outbreak, Alice in Wonderland AU, smut, creampie, unprotected p in v, oral receiving (fem), reader finds Wonderland, lots of fluff
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
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 The bright lights from the lavish dinner party hall give you a blaring headache. This is the third one this week you’ve had to attend. It’s just the same routine. Another dinner, more socializing you don’t want to be a part of, putting on fake smiles to impress some higher up rich snobs just so you can make a good impression for your company. 
   You’re exhausted, so brutally tired that you could probably crawl up on one of the window sills and take a much needed cat nap with the way your body is lagging in your sparkly wedges. You drag your feet across the polished wooden floor and press your hands down firmly against your short sky blue dress, the fabric swishing around your soft thighs as you smooth the skirt out. 
   The smell of expensive wine and top brand steak lace through the air, the sound of soft classical music buzzing through your ears as you casually slide by important business men and women intermingling on the middle of the dance floor. 
   You pick up a glass of champagne and let the harsh taste slide down your parched throat, letting the liquid bubble inside you as you set it back down against the silky white table cloth. You want to go home, leave this fancy feast where talk of money and stocks fly through the air. If only there was some sort of distraction that could take you away from it all. 
   Suddenly, you see fast movements from the corner of your right eye. You shoot your head that direction and see what looks to be a white cotton tail jump through the sea of Coach shoes and fancy tailored suits. You move your head to see around a woman’s long silky coat and see flurries of hopping movements, the color of snow dancing through the crowd. 
   You take a few steps forward to see just what it is, your curiosity getting the best of you. You take one more step and stop the moment you see just what it is. A small white rabbit sits in the middle of the crowd. It has long white ears, probably as smooth as a feather, and big blue eyes that seem to look inside your soul. It holds up a golden watch and points straight at the hour hand and turns back around, running toward the long, empty hall outside of the ballroom. 
   A white rabbit? Did no one else see that? Are you just that tired that you’re hallucinating? 
   You look around to all the people in the crowd, but no one seems to notice the white rabbit that just leapt its way through the ballroom, and no one seems to notice your wide-eyed gaze. You turn to the brown wooden door and see the white rabbit point once more to its shiny watch, nodding its head as it runs outside of the room and disappears. 
   You take a step forward in the direction the rabbit went, but then stop a moment. Are you really going to chase after something that has to be an illusion? You look back to the sea of faces you don’t even know, watching as their fake laughter and imposter stances make you sick. You take one more look to the open door and nod. Hell yes you’re going to chase after a white rabbit. 
   You sprint to the door, careful not to trip over your high wedges as you chase after the rabbit. You see it at the end of the hall waiting for you, fluffy ears standing high as it holds the ticking watch in its hands as the shine of the watch reflects off the clear glass windows. It runs around the corner, not waiting for you as it keeps going. A clear game of tag as the rabbit seems amused at your clear exhaustion of trying to catch it. 
   “Wait!” you shout down the echoing halls, hoping the rabbit will hear you, but when you turn it’s disappearing yet again. This time, going through a small, dark hole in the wall as it drops the grand watch to the marble floor, not stopping to pick it up. 
   “Wait, you forgot this!” you shout frantically as you run over and bend down, picking up the watch as your fingers run idly over the golden watch. The watch strikes 7:30pm as its golden second hand spins in a cycle, the minutes ticking by as you hear the faint noise of the watch. 
   Tick, tick, tick. As the seconds pass by, the ticking seems to stir something in you as you look over to the dark hole in the wall, just big enough to crawl through. You could squeeze in, but should you? You don’t know what’s past the darkness of that wall. 
   You look back down the long hallway and hear the vacant laughs and chimes of silverware floating down the hall. You have a choice. You either go back in that loud, rambling room of rich pricks or you can go explore the darkness of the hole the white rabbit went through. 
   You only have one choice. Go chase a fantasy or walk back into a room of people you don’t care about. Your head turns quickly back toward the dark hole, and you decide then. 
   You choose the fantasy. 
   You hold tight to the golden watch and sink to your knees as you leave the crowded party down the hall and enter into a quiet, dark tunnel- like hole. The walls are hollow, damp corners filling your vision until you can see nothing but pitch black. You keep on pushing your way through, grunting with all your might as you squeeze through the narrowing walls. 
   The floor turns from marble flooring to thick, rich grass as you crawl and crawl and crawl until suddenly the opening of the room is large, towering above you. Deep green grass surrounds you, a lofty ceiling made of moss hangs freely from the darkness, and then you see a bright light. 
   You shift your way through the plushy grass and look through a little keyhole as warm light bursts through. You place your hands on the intricate pink doorway and look through the tiny hole. There, in the middle of a cobblestone path, stands the rabbit. It looks back at you, nodding its head as if to say “Come on now, you’re late.”
   You push on the heavy door, putting every ounce of strength into your arms as you can until you hear a locking sound click into place. You shove once more and then you’re falling forward as the doorway jars open. 
   You land with a thud on the concrete steps and take a minute to smooth out your dress as you stand up. Once you do, you watch the white rabbit speed off ahead of you, daring you to chase after it. You’re awfully sick of playing this game of tag, but you run after it into a sea of green as you enter into a maze of thick bushes. 
   The rabbit jumps through the green maze, zipping around tight corners as you huff to try to keep up. You nearly run straight into a tall, mangy bush as you slide amongst the slippery pebbled path. 
   “Wait!” you call out. “You’re going too fast, please!” 
   Just as the rabbit disappears around another corner and you follow after it, you wind up in a massive open area. You stop and gasp as you take in the tall, colorful wildflowers, the rush of the lilac scented breeze, the mist of a flowing river as a rushing waterfall tumbles into the clear, blue water. 
   What is this place?
   The rabbit hops up to you and grabs the golden watch from your hand, stealing it back as its furry paw flexes around it.   
   “You’re late.” The voice comes out deep, the sound of a male’s voice as he hops off into a thick, green forest. Before he disappears completely, he sticks his furry ears out behind a tree and curls a paw his way. “Well, don’t just stand there. Come on! He’s waiting,” he calls as he disappears behind a sea of thick trees. 
   He’s waiting? Who is waiting? And did that rabbit just talk? You must be losing your mind.
   You shake your head clear as you walk past a patch of colorful wildflowers. Lilies, tulips, and flowers you don’t know the names of all sprawl out in a thick patch of colors. Vibrant purples, blues, pinks, greens, yellows, and reds collide together in a row of lavish intricacy. 
   As you look across the patch of lush green grass you see white roses that drip red, mixing the colors together as if blood stains the pure white roses. You find it kind of odd to have a field of untouched, beautiful wildflowers and then a row of rose bushes that seem to be tainted by paint. 
   “Odd. This place is so odd,” you murmur as you move along the straight trail that will lead you to the trees where the rabbit disappeared. “Silly rabbit, what am I possibly late for? Who was he talking about when he said he’s waiting? Who is he?” 
   The questions swirl through your head as you pass through the flower field. You hear whispers, quiet and meek as they dance through the large, colorful field. She’s here. She’s finally here! Oh, finally. He’s been waiting for so long. 
   Are the flowers talking about you? Is that what you’re hearing? No. It can’t possibly be. This is too much. You have to be hallucinating or asleep. This isn’t real. None of this is real. 
   You push yourself further up the path, passing painted butterflies of orange, blue, and white colors as they flutter above your head. The area is so green, lush grass and vibrant plants every which way you look. Glowing mushrooms the color of hot pink line the way through the thick trees, and you follow. 
   You end up on a winding path, a soft, salmon colored dust path that splits off into four different directions. You turn to the left, to the right, looking all four ways as your mind races like a ticking clock. 
   A large white wooden sign sits to the left of the path, arrows pointing in all different directions as the signs read This Way, That Way, Up Here, Wrong Way, Down Here. There’s no rhyme or reason to any of this madness. How the fuck were you going to get out of this mess if the signs couldn’t even be read?!
   You stomp one of your shoes into the dirt and kick some pink dust up, feeling yourself losing your patience as this place isn’t making any sense. First, there was a white rabbit with a golden watch, then you crawled through a small hole that led you to some sort of fantasy land, then the rabbit accused you of being late, and now this. 
   You kick the edge of the wooden sign with your foot aggressively and let out a deep huff. “How do I get out of here?” you sigh as you cross your arms and furrow your eyebrows together. 
   “You want to get out of here? But you only just got here!” A slithery, deep voice slips down from one of the jacaranda trees and startles you as you jump back from the voice.
   “Who’s there?” you ask shakily as you look up into the big purple leaves of the massive trees. You search and search until a large cat comes out of the shadows and shows its face. You stop in your tracks and look up as a pair of big green eyes appear on a low hanging branch. Its body materializes next as thick lines of purple and pink paint its long-haired fur. 
   “Who is there is a good question, isn’t it? I know who you are, but you don’t know me. How intriguing,” he smiles as he hangs off the branch and twists his body to where his face is right in front of yours. His green eyes glow like fairy lanterns and his pearly white sharp incisors seem to go on for miles. 
   “How do you know who I am?” you ask nervously as you stare back into eyes that lock on yours. His smile widens as he drops his body further, seeming to float in space as he places his sharp paws underneath his chin. 
   “Oh, my dear. Everyone knows who you are here. It’s no secret. We’ve been waiting. Mostly he’s been waiting. And what a treat that’ll be. You’re even prettier than I imagined,” he chuckles deeply as he spins his body around yours, floating in thin air. 
   “Who is he that everyone seems to be talking about?” you ask annoyed as you cross your bare arms over your chest and turn to follow his floating body. You want answers and you want them now. 
   “You’ll find out soon, very soon,” he laughs as his fanned out tail glides against your shoulder, leaving a feather-like touch to your skin. 
   “Fine, if you won’t tell me then just tell me which way I’ll find him,” you demand as you place your hands on your hips, letting the soft material of your blue dress sink through you. 
   “This way,” he points to the left, his claws sharp like knives as he switches directions and points to the right. “No, this way. Actually, maybe it’s north of here,” he smiles as he points up from where he floats. 
   You purse your lips to try to keep yourself calm. “Please, just tell me where to go,” you plead, eyes burning red as you try to keep your composure together, but it’s slowly breaking the more this cat plays with you. 
   “You’re exactly where you need to be, my dear. Just hold tight,” he smiles as he disappears into thin air, his voice carrying through the wind as it slowly slips away. Vanishing just like that. 
   You look every which way while fisting your hands to your side and turn back toward the direction you first came, looking out into the wildflower fields that paint the ground a sea of rainbow colors. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, letting the cool breeze hit your skin as you inhale scents of fresh roses and lilty daisies. 
   “Home, I need to get back home,” you whisper silently. 
   Just as you take another deep breath, you hear the deep sound of a throat being cleared and then a rugged, gravelly voice break you free of your thoughts of home. 
   “You lost there, darlin’?” 
   You turn back around, as quick as a bolt of crisp lightning, and you’re about to chew the cat back out until you realize it’s not him. It’s a man. Him. It has to be the one they were all talking about. 
   You watch as he leans up against the rough bark of a winding tree, his arms crossed over his broad chest as he leans and watches you closely, eyes trailing down your body as he takes you in nice and slow. Suddenly you’re completely nervous and forgetting your words as you take him in. 
   Tall. He’s so tall, a little over six feet if you had to guess. His eyes are like pools of honey. Deep, brown eyes that seem to have flecks of warmth sprinkled all around them. And his arms. God, his arms. Large, muscular as his biceps pull at the blue flannel button-up that wraps tightly around him. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, exposing large veins that seem to thread and skate down his arms as they end in massive hands. Hands that probably feel warm, safe. 
   His blue jeans cling to his thick thighs as clean leather boots lace up over his large feet. He smirks over at you, a flirtatious, playful look that says he’s trouble written all over that gorgeous face. A smooth, patchy beard and mustache cover his face with silver lining the edges. And his hair. Dark tousled curls that spill over the edges of his forehead, and you think they look soft to the touch, maybe even like velvet. 
   He looks like trouble to you. Warm, inviting, fun trouble. 
   God, he’s so handsome. 
   “Well?” he asks again, waiting for you to answer. 
   “I…I…” you stutter out, unable to even form a comprehensive sentence. What the fuck is wrong with you? 
   “Cat got your tongue?” he chuckles as the deep sound from his chest seems to reverberate right off the hollow tree barks, landing right into your own chest. It’s like you can feel his laugh. Warm, syrupy, infectious. He’s like a dream. A dream that doesn’t seem to be quite real.
   You shake your head, clearing the fog as you find your words again. “I was just looking for my way out of here. Back home,” you answer as you take a step forward and lace your fingers together as you hold them nervously behind your back. 
   “Back home? You already want to leave so soon?” he laughs as he pushes himself off the tree and takes a few steps forward, crunching his leather boots over the salmon colored dirt of the road. 
   “Of course she doesn’t. She hasn’t even seen all of Wonderland yet,” the cat replies as he comes out of thin air and rests on the handsome man’s shoulders, his lined purple tail curling around his long neck. “I think she wants you to show her Wonderland,” he says with mischief written all over those glowing green cat eyes. 
   “Wonderland?” you ask with your eyebrows knit together in concentration. “What’s Wonderland?” 
   The cat twists its flexible body over the man’s arm, floating off to his side as he smiles brightly up at him. “I’ll let you lead the way. Good luck,” he grins as a loud laugh carries through every path of the massive forest. “Goodbye, pretty girl,” he calls as he vanishes once again into thin air, only the glow of his jagged smile staying in the cotton clouds, high above the trees. 
   You shake your head and laugh under your breath. This place isn’t real. It can’t be. “Who was that?” you ask the man as he crosses his arms and looks over at you with a gleam in his shiny brown eyes.
  “That’s the Cheshire Cat. You can just call him Ches for short. That’s what we all call him,” he replies as he takes another step toward you, getting so close that you can smell him. Rich mahogany and the scent of deep pine needles. Intoxicating. 
   “And you? Who are you?” you ask as you flick your eyes over him, seeing just how large in stature he is. 
   “The name’s Joel. Joel Miller,” he nods as he sticks a large hand out to you, edging you to take it as he shoves it closer to you after you do nothing but stare at it. 
   You finally get the courage to reach your hand out and place it in his. You gasp as soon as he closes his strong grip on yours. His fingers are thick, calloused, warm as you slowly shake his hand. 
   His eyes lock on yours and it’s like you’re frozen in time, flecks of golden brown staring back at you as you quickly come back to reality. You drop his hand and take a step back, breaking the soft introduction as you stare at the small crevices in the ground. 
   “I know who you are.” He says your name softly as if he’s known you for years. And it sounds so good coming off his tongue, like a melody that sweeps past the breeze and lands right into a large bed of wildflowers. Gentle. He says your name so gently, soft. But how does he know your name? This doesn’t make any sense. 
   “How do you know my name?” you ask suspiciously as you watch him shift his weight back and forth against the firm ground. 
   He chuckles like this is all a game to him, like you know him already when in reality he’s a complete stranger. Someone you’ve never met. You would’ve remembered if you met someone like him before. 
   “There’s a lot I know about you, sweetheart,” he smirks, a devastatingly handsome smile that you can’t help but melt over.
   Sweetheart? Something shifts inside you as you take in his handsome face, his warm eyes that seem to drip like flowing honey. A gleam in his eye that tells you you do know him. But how? You want to stare into those entrancing eyes, want to walk over and trace your fingers against the starry flecks of warmth, but there’s no time for that. You need answers, now. 
   “What is this place? Wonderland is what Ches said. What’s Wonderland?” 
   Joel just laughs and shakes his head. “Wonderland has been here for a very long time. It’s been here waiting for you. It’s been so long, darlin’. So very long. We didn’t think you’d ever come,” he says quietly as he huffs a sigh of relief that you’re actually standing here in front of him. 
   “You’ve been waiting? What? I don’t understand. I’ve never been here before. This has got to be some sick fantasy. I must’ve fallen and bumped my head. None of this is real.” 
   “You sure about that, sweetheart?” he asks as one of his dark eyebrows raises high on his forehead, eyes staring at you as if he’s waiting for you to say something else. 
   You question his stance but quickly shake your head out of the daze. “Yes, this isn’t real. Now I’m going to close my eyes and pinch myself and then I’ll wake up back in the real world,” you confirm as you close your eyes tightly and dream of home. 
   Home. You mean back to your overwhelming, overworked life as you engage in endless meetings and parties with people that don’t matter. Is that what you really want to go back to? Is that what you want?
   You keep your eyes sealed closed as you grit your teeth together and think of home. Home. Back to your warm bed and back to your cat, Duchess. You feel a pinch sting your arm as you squeeze your fingertips together, but to no avail. It doesn’t seem to work.
   You hear the sounds of a deep chuckle rumbling in front of you, and then you peel your eyes open to see Joel standing a few paces away as he crosses his strong arms and shakes his head in dismissal. He’s laughing at you. 
   “What’s so funny?” you ask annoyed, huffing out as you see you’re still in Wonderland. It didn’t work. 
   “Didn’t work, did it?” he smirks, his large hand dragging  down his coarse beard as his penetrating gaze keeps you in place. 
   You gulp, catching your own breath as you answer quietly. “No. I guess it didn’t…”
   “That’s because this is real,” he confirms as he takes another step closer to you, boots scuffing against the dirt as he takes another and another and another until he’s standing right in front of you, wild brown eyes sinking down into yours. 
   You shake your head, unwilling to accept that this may very well be real. “This isn’t real. You’re not real.”
   “Not real, huh? Reach out and touch the trunk of the tree,” he instructs as his gentle voice carries through the crisp air. 
   “Why?”
   “Just do it, will ya?” he asks with more force in his rugged voice, the sound making you stand up straighter as it reverberates down your spine. 
   “You’re a stubborn one, ain’t ya?” he chuckles, a Southern drawl carrying through the wind as it lands straight through your ringing eardrums. 
   “Guess so,” you laugh. 
   You reach your arm out timidly and stroke the dark bark of the tree, feeling the rough edges snag against the palm of your hand. 
   “There ya go, just like that,” he praises as you feel his hot breath breathing down your neck, your skin suddenly boiling alive as you breathe in the scent of fresh bark and wood as it seems to cloud your racing mind. 
   You take a step back out of his reach and look nervously around you. It sure felt real, but it still didn’t explain how you were here. 
   As if he sees the wavering expression on your face, he speaks again. Low and gruff sounds falling off the tip of his tongue. “This place is real. Just as much as I am. Here, close your eyes for a second,” he says nicely as he takes another step forward. 
   You take a step back, and he holds his hands up to say he’s not going to hurt you. “Please, just for a second. Close ‘em. Need you to trust me, sweetheart.”
   As your mind caves to his request, you find yourself obeying. You close your eyes and twist your fingers around the hem of your dress, letting the nerves drift away as you try to relax. 
   “Now, take a deep breath. Focus on the sounds of the rushing water, the trees gently blowing through the wind, the air around you as it blows through your hair. Just listen, get lost in the sounds, in yourself,” he instructs with a lilty voice, the sounds instantly calming you as you follow his instructions. 
   You slow your breathing down, taking nice, deep breaths as you lose yourself to your surroundings. You hear the faint hum of honey bees dancing through the wildflowers, feel the rush of spring air as it blows gently through your flowing hair, hear the trickle of the river as the distant waterfall clashes against rocks and smooth water. 
   Focus. Deep breaths. This is real, this is real. 
   Before you can take another breath, a large palm slides against your cheek, and you almost jolt at the electric spark it ignites in your body. 
   “Does this feel real to you?” he asks quietly, the volume of his words coming off as composed, soft, warm. 
   You carefully place your hand over his as you feel the opposite textures of his skin. The back of his hand is soft, smooth as your fingers timidly graze along his tanned skin. His palm is rough, calloused fingers hovering over your jawline as his thick fingers stay right there on your face. 
   It feels strange how warm and inviting he feels, how vaguely familiar he seems as you breathe in the taste of mahogany and pinewood, letting the scent coat your lungs as you drink it down. You want to box it up, wrap it tightly in a jar so you can fill your surroundings with the smell of him. 
   “Open your eyes,” he whispers, his hand still grazing your jawline as you flutter your eyelids open. 
   Your eyes grow wide as you see him standing right in front of you, boots meeting the edges of your open wedge shoes as you see just how clear and coated his glossy brown eyes are now. 
   “This real enough for you?” he asks quietly as he slides his calloused thumb across your cheek once more, filling your insides with warmth and peace. A peace you’ve been craving for months. 
   “Yes,” you whisper out, voice deceiving you as he drops his hand and chuckles, taking a step back as he digs his fingers into the pocket of his dark jeans. You’re suddenly  aware that the warmth is gone from your face. It left the moment he dropped his fingers from your jawline. 
   You take a moment to breathe, letting the warm sunlight wash over your fair skin as you let the scent of lilies and forest scents bring you back to earth. You take one more deep breath and ask the question that haunts your mind.
   “What am I doing here, Joel? How am I? I just… I just don’t understand.” Your right hand grabs the edge of the satiny material of your light blue dress as your eyes wander back over to the man with broad shoulders and beautiful eyes. 
   He shrugs a little, but smiles underneath the hoods of his brown eyes. “You needed an escape, darlin’. You opened the door to Wonderland. You found it, with a little help from the white rabbit,” he responds with a deep chuckle. “But, ultimately, you found it on your own. It’s your fantasy land.”
   “My fantasy land? But I… I’ve never been here before. How could it be mine if I didn’t even know about it? And you. How could you possibly know I was coming?” you ask with your voice raised, endless questions brewing as if this was all impossible in the first place. 
   Impossible. This place is impossible. 
   “I wasn’t sure you would come. I only hoped you would,” he says softly as warm brown eyes look down into yours, feelings stirring inside you that you can’t quite decipher. Too twisted, too tied in knots, too risky to untangle. 
   “Why do I feel like I’ve known you for years? I only just met you…” you whisper vacantly, your voice hollowing out on the last syllable as something snaps inside you. A feeling of… tranquility. 
   “A funny feelin’, ain’t it? Those feelings are never really wrong though, are they?”
   His pondering questions make you feel crazy, mind boggling as you slowly shake your head. No. That can’t be true. Or is he just twisting your mind to make you believe whatever he says? But somehow you know he’s not lying to you. He wouldn’t. Somehow you know he’s not playing tricks on you. Deep down you know, he’s telling the truth.
   You run your fingers through your hair and let them fall back down to your sides unfaltering. “Am I mad? Have I lost my mind?” you ask distraughtly as you bite your lower lip and knit your eyebrows together in deep thought. 
   He takes a step forward, golden eyes shining in the sunlight as he laughs and shakes his head. “We’re all a little mad here, darlin’.” 
   You stifle a small laugh and shake your head knowingly. “Mmm,” you hum as you take in the madness of the words. 
   We’re all mad here. 
   He nods his head as a curl falls down against his forehead, leaning toward the winding path that’ll take you north into a forest of wonders. “C’mon. Follow me.”
   Follow me. The words twist off his tongue as they echo through your mind. Follow me. What will happen if you do follow him? 
   You turn back toward the way you came, eyes searching for a hidden door you can’t see anymore. Covered by twisting vines and a sea of green mazes that snake around the overflowing garden. No turning back now. 
   You feel Joel’s large presence behind you, drawing closer and closer until he’s right behind you as his dark shadow falls across the salmon colored pathway. You inhale a deep breath, but all you smell is pine needles and fresh wood and maybe a hint of fresh cut grass. You smell him. 
   “You’ve gotta stop lookin’ back from the way you came, sweetheart. I know that’s the last place you want to be right now. You want to be away from the noise, the stress, the fake smiles.” 
   His voice slides against the shell of your ear, reverberating down to your chest as his words sting your insides. Of course you don’t want to go back to that. So why are you looking back? 
   “What are you so scared of, sweetheart? Hmm?” he asks quietly, his fingertips grazing the edge of your arm as goosebumps form over the sensitive areas he touches. Wildfire burning in the thick brush of trees is what it feels like. Fiery, tempting, smoldering. You can almost taste the flames. Those stirring, enticing flames. 
   “Everything,” you whisper, pulling all the courage in your gut to answer his question. What are you so scared of? 
   “Everything, huh? Darlin’, you don’t have to be scared of me. You don’t have to fear this place. This is your safe haven, your sanctuary. Take a leap of faith. Come join me. Follow me through the trees. There’s nothin’ to fear. The only thing you should fear is time itself. So relax. Can you do that for me?” he asks, his hot breath blowing down your exposed neck as you feel his large hand slip down to your waist, barely grazing your light blue dress as his lips sit dangerously close to your jawline. 
   You don’t have to be scared of me. Relax. This is your safe haven. The words simmer in your mind as your heartbeat races in your blood. The only thing you should fear is time itself.
   “The only thing you should fear is time?” you repeat, the words leaving your lips as you feel his calloused fingers trace a flyaway hair behind your ear, tucking it back neatly as he lines his soft lips up to your earlobe and whispers. 
   “Time, darlin’. You can’t escape it, can’t run from it. But you can run with the madness, let your mind unwind just a little as you slip away into wonder. Let me show you the way,” he coaxes, a sweet melody that enchants your very soul, pulling you toward him, away from all the noise of the outside world, away from normalcy. 
   You feel him slip from your grasp as you open your eyes up and turn slowly in his direction, seeking his soft brown eyes and deft fingers again. He smirks over at you, a mischievous grin as he nods his head and holds out his hand. 
   “Follow me through Wonderland, sweetheart. Let me show you exactly what I’m talking about.”
   You look at his outstretched hand and look back behind you, back to the way you came in. No going back. This is your chance. Take a leap of faith. Follow him through Wonderland. 
   You turn once more and see him nod his head, a gentle smile curling up against the sides of his mouth as his warm eyes wade into yours. It’s like you hear his calming drawl as you look at his outstretched hand, calloused fingers reaching your way, convincing you to take it. 
   Follow me through Wonderland. Let me show you. 
   You lift your hand, curling your fingers as you think twice about it. His soft brown eyes relax, the crow’s feet pulling at the edges of his tanned skin as his crinkled eyes tell you it’s okay. You can take his hand. 
   “C’mon, sweetheart. You can trust me,” he says softly, his large palm reaching out a little more, coaxing you to take it. 
   It’s like you hear the swaying whispers of the wild flowers in the fields, their small trills of voices as they carry through the wind. Take his hand. He’s safe. He’s been waiting so long for you. Let him take you to Wonderland.
    You feel it inside your chest, the building breaths and  aching longing that leads you to him. Just one more glance at those brown flecks of warmth and that’s all it takes to convince you.
    You reach your hand out and press it slowly into his palm, letting his calloused fingers lace through yours as you gasp at the warmth that simmers there. Safe, he’s safe. 
    He leads you forward through the thick trees, passing peculiar species of birds and plants you’ve never seen before. All shades of the rainbow laid out like a colorful map for you to take in. As you look around in awe, Joel turns his head back and smiles at you. A warm, gentle smile that makes your insides melt with affection. 
   He continues leading you through this beautiful, strange world. Further, further, further until you’re almost to the end of the pink road, following Joel as he takes the lead. 
His hand presses into yours more, calloused fingers brushing over yours as comfort embeds your entire skin.    
   Familiar, he seems so familiar like you’ve been here before, like you’ve held his hand before, like you’ve known him for so long. And it’s strange, such a strange feeling that encompasses your whole being. 
   You reach the end of the path and then end up in a wide open space that looks like an enchanted forest. Rows of colorful tulips, marigolds, and lillies cover the area. Green hills in the far distance tower high in the sky, lush grass covers the ground, and a running river crashes lightly to the left of a cobblestone path.
   As you walk through the path of vivid flowers, you swear you hear them whispering, calling your name as your bare legs brush past them. And it sounds like they’re talking about you. 
   Joel chuckles quietly in front of you as he shakes his head, ruffling his tousled curls as he turns and looks back at you. 
   “Did I hear the flowers whisper my name? Or am I hearing things?” you ask as he looks at you with sun kissed lips and brown flecked eyes.
   “They uh… they were definitely talkin’ ‘bout ya. Don’t mind them. They like to gossip to each other,” he laughs, the infectious sound flowing through your ears as you can’t help but smile shyly back up at him. 
   He really is handsome. 
   “What are they saying?” you ask as he continues to lead you through the glowing sunshine of the glittering forest. 
   “They think you’re pretty,” he blushes as if he’s hiding something else, but you don’t push for more answers. 
   “Pretty, huh? That’s what they think?”
   “Mhm. Beautiful…” he whispers under his breath, making your cheeks blush crimson as you fight a growing smile on your glossy lips. 
   As you continue walking through patches of soft grass, past more whispering tulip fields, you can’t help but wonder if this is all a trick of the eye. Everything is so beautiful, so surreal like that it’s hard to wrap your head around this place. 
   Joel looks back your way and squeezes your hand, assessing your wandering gaze as you watch a bright blue butterfly land on Joel’s shoulder, the butterfly seeming to stare up at him as Joel smiles down and nods. “Hello, Absolem.”
   “Absolem?” you ask as the butterfly turns your way and crawls on the back of your hand, looking up at you as if he’s trying to talk to you. No words come out of his mouth, but you swear you see a tiny speck of a smile on his lips as he flies away and leaves you standing there watching in awe. 
   “Absolem,” Joel confirms. 
   “You talk to butterflies in your spare time?” you laugh as you casually tease him. He squeezes his hand around you and shakes his head. 
   “We’re in Wonderland, remember? You can pretty much talk to anything, even the trees. They’ll eventually answer you.”
   “Strange, this is so strange.”
   “Just wait till you see the mad tea party up ahead,” he responds as he pulls you deeper into a shaded area covered by big, purple leaves that fill the trees. 
   “Mad tea party?” you ask with a raised brow. 
   “You’ll see,” he smirks as he pulls you along. 
   You walk around a big, shaded tree and come to stand a few feet from a long, narrow table that has tall wooden chairs surrounding it. A lacy white table cloth hangs low over the edges as various icing topped cakes, intricate tea pots, fine china, and pastries litter the table in a heap.  
   You gasp as you see a mangy rabbit with discombobulated ears yelling about unbirthdays and tea sitting about the table. The white rabbit sits on the opposite side assessing his golden watch while arguing with the other rabbit, and the Cheshire Cat floats above the table as he curls his striped tail around his neck. But what wracks your brain a little is the tall, peculiar man that sits at the head of the table. 
   He has a large green top hat with a decorative pink ribbon around the rim of the hat. His clothes are odd. A red velvet jacket sits atop a purple frilly shirt with a large multicolored bow around his neck. His pants sit pressed against his legs as stripes fill the cotton material. 
   When he looks up, a large white smile fills his face as bright red hair sticks out underneath his top hat and flashy green eyes stare wildly your way. He drops his cup of tea and sprints over to you in a hurry, wide eyes staring your way in shock. 
   “It’s you! You finally found your way,” he says out of breath, voice elated with excitement as he looks over at Joel. “Joel, you found her. You brought her back!” he shouts as he jumps up and down in a crazed manner. 
   “Brought me back?” you ask confused. But you haven’t been here before. Have you?
   “She found Wonderland herself, hatter. I didn’t bring her here. She found it on her own.” He looks over at you, and you swear you see pride in his eyes, a fondness that could only be explained by looking into his eyes. 
   Safe. He’s safe. 
   “Darlin’, this is the mad hatter.” 
   The mad hatter takes your hand as he says your name and bows his head as he tips his oversized hat to you, making you feel like you belong here. Like you’re not a stranger to this world. 
   “Nice to meet you,” you say as you give him a courteous greeting. 
   He smiles up at you with a big Cheshire grin and asks you the most curious question you’ve ever heard before. “Why is a raven like a writing desk?” he asks with big green eyes as he leans forward with his hands clapping together in anticipation. 
   “Umm I’m not sure…” you say quizzically, eyebrows knit together as Joel just shakes his head. 
   “Hatter, she doesn’t have time for questions like that. Let her be. Her and Joel have places to go,” the white rabbit says as he holds up his ticking watch, the other rabbit just pointing and laughing at nothing in particular. 
   “Oh, right. Well you must come back for tea! We can celebrate your unbirthday and have lots of tea and cake,” he shouts loudly as he bows and skips back over to the table, joining the madness of the tea party again. 
   “Go on now,” the Cheshire Cat says as he waves you off with the flick of his purple paw. “Have fun with Joel.” He smiles a wide, bright smile at you as it curls into a devious smirk, pure trouble behind those blinding green eyes. 
   Joel chuckles under his breath and shakes his head. “C’mon, darlin’. Got a lot more to show you.” He grabs your wrist and pulls you the opposite way of the tea party as you hear the faint shouts and laughs from the ridiculousness of it all. 
   As you walk through a trail of wispy willows and white rose bushes, you ask him another question as you follow his lead. “You live here? In Wonderland?”
   “Mhm. Got a house right up that winding path.” He points to a cobblestone path that leads into a valley of tall, green trees that overlook the side of a flowing waterfall. 
   “It’s just you?” you ask, eyes fixed on the large veins in his neck as he purses his lips together and nods his head.
   “Jus’ me, darlin’.”
   “It must get lonely here. By yourself, I mean,” you say as you nip at your bottom lip, hoping you’re not overstretching your questions. 
   “It can be, I suppose.” At those words, his thick fingers wrap tighter around your wrist, almost as if he’s latching on to you, hoping you won’t leave too soon. You can almost hear the wallowing of his words as if he speaks them out loud to you. 
   Don't go away. Stay here with me. 
   You continue walking, the green grass catching on your shoes as you come across a large, glistening pond. Massive green lily pads with pink flowers that sit atop them wade in the water as they float gently in the breeze. Joel nods his head and takes a step forward, but you take a step back, fear coursing through you. 
   “You want me to cross that?” you ask all wide-eyed and mouth falling open as you see no other way across. “Wouldn’t the lily pads just sink?”
   “They’re solid, made for crossing by foot. It’s alright. I do it all the time.”
   He holds his hand out, his large palm facing up as he nods for you to take it. You weigh your options carefully. Either turn back to the mad tea party or take your chances here with Joel. You know which one you want to choose. 
   His brown eyes become warmer, golden flecks dancing in his irises as he spreads his fingers wider, taking a step in your direction as he asks you once more to put a little faith in him. 
   “C’mon, sweetheart. You trust me?” he asks as his eyebrows knit together in a tight line, his eyes searching yours as he waits for an answer. There’s that look again, the one you saw back at the entrance from where you came. You hear the words so carefully. 
   You can trust me. 
   “Yes,” you breathe, putting your hand in his as a smile curls up on his lips that forms a dimple against his cheek. 
   He’s so fucking handsome. 
   “Well, c’mon then, sweetheart. This way,” he responds as he carefully leads you across the floating lily pads. 
   Glowing coy fish glide under the water as sparkling dragonflies hover over the surface of the crystal clear water and dance around the green lily pads. The smell of spring and rose bushes fill the air as the glowing sun warms your soft skin. This place is so magical. 
   When you finally cross over to the other side of the pond, Joel leads you over to a sea of giant mushrooms. Pastel pinks, dark blues, violet purples, and shades of ember reds fill the area. And they look so soft to the touch, like velvet beds you can crawl up and take a cat nap on. 
   Joel turns you around, his eyes softening as those flecks of warmth sink deep into yours. He stands so close to you, so close that you can smell the pine wood and mahogany scent that drip off his very being. You want to inhale that scent, drown in it as it coats your insides, bottle it up so you remember exactly what he smells like. 
   And then he smiles. That deep, warm smile that seems to pull everything into place. It’s so warm, so calming, so soothing. You’ve seen it before, you know you have. But where? When? You don’t even know. All you know is you have seen him before. You must have. 
   You gulp and twist your fingers nervously through your skirt that blows gently in the wind, your lips parting open as you find your words. “Why do I feel like this isn’t the first time I’ve met you? I feel… I feel like I’ve known you for so long,” you murmur out carefully as your gears grind together in your brain. 
   He chuckles, a deep, sated sound that seems to fill your body up with a splash of warmth. “You think you’ve been here before?” he asks curiously, eyebrows raising as he places all his attention on you. 
   “I don’t… I don’t think so. I would’ve remembered this place. I would’ve remembered you,” you stammer out, your brain cells firing off as you try to remember. 
   Remember, remember, remember. But you can’t. You can’t. 
   Your brain starts to go foggy, all memories of this place nonexistent. If you’ve never been here before then why do you feel this way about Joel? Why is he clouding your entire mind with his warm eyes and gentle smile? 
   “Why do you think you’re here, darlin’? Why do you think you opened up that locked door to Wonderland?” he asks with a tilted head, eyebrows knitting together as he concentrates solely on you. 
   You gulp as his intense stare lingers on you. Your fingers grip the hem of your dress as you stutter out nonsense. “I… ummm I don’t know…”
   “No?” he asks as he crooks his head, a hand sitting deep in the pocket of his jeans as his eyebrows mold together in a tight line. “I think you do, sweetheart.”
   You take another breath as you blow it out through your mouth, letting it fall through the wind as you swallow back nerves. “You seem to know, Joel. So tell me. Tell me why I’m here.”
   He smirks before he starts to move forward, his broad form coming closer and closer until he’s standing right in front of you. Joel circles you slowly, calloused fingers trailing up your bare arms as he slides behind your tense shoulders. He drags his index finger along your collarbone gently, making you squeak as nerves pull through the pit of your stomach.
   “This is why you came here, remember? To let go, to lose yourself in this fantasy,” he purrs as his lips slide against the shell of your ear, breathing hot air down your neck as your body seems to still against the lull of his deep voice.
   His thick fingers trace your jawline, your chin, your neck as he courses down to the strap of your delicate sky blue dress and lingers there, slowly hooking a finger under as he whispers seductively into your ear, “So let go.”
   Your breath hitches as his sloped nose brushes against yours, his lips hanging inches above yours as you stare at them. Big, plush, enticing lips. Soft. They look so soft, like they’d fit perfectly over yours. 
   His forehead drops down to yours as you breathe him in deep. Pine trees, wood, sunlight, ecstasy. It’s all you smell, all you feel as his calloused fingers brush over your jawline, lingering under your chin as he brings your face up, up, up. Just enough to be able to brush his lips against yours as you feel hot warmth flood through your insides. Anticipation builds as you nearly moan his name out, your lips parting slightly as you gaze into his warm, starry eyes. And in that moment you want him, badly. 
   “Is this what you want, sweetheart? Wanna let go and lose yourself in me?” he blows over your lips, his fingers brushing a curl behind your ear as they tease your jawline, making you arch up more as your fingers dig into the soft material of his flannel. “Say yes, let me show you how to let go,” he coaxes. 
   Without thinking, you let your body take control as you slur the words out effortlessly. “Yes, show me. Show me how to let go,” you whisper. 
   He wastes no time and crashes into your lips, his large hands cupping your face as he presses deeper against your mouth. Soft. His lips are so fucking soft as they ravish yours deftly. 
   You part your lips for him, letting him slot his tongue inside your mouth as he glides the tip of it against yours. He dances around your mouth, meticulous circles as you breathe him in, tasting the honeysuckle flavor of his large tongue. You run your fingers through his tousled curls and feel the moan that catches in his mouth, making you burn like wildfire against the sound. 
   He starts pushing you back and you walk backwards and feel yourself stop as something hits the back of your thighs. He doesn’t let up, doesn’t stop as he takes and takes and takes. Continuing to twist his savory tongue around your mouth. 
   After a few more seconds of intense kissing and fingers twisting in hair, he breaks the kiss and leans his forehead against yours as his large hands run down your sides, landing on your hips as he starts to hike your dress slowly up. Your breathing is ragged, desperate as you want more. 
   Give me more, please.
   It’s like he senses your need as he asks, “You gonna let go for me, sweetheart? Let me give you what you need?”
   “Yes, yes,” you whisper rapidly as you hear him chuckle under his breath. 
   “Good, let me take care of you, baby. Sit back for me.”
   He pushes you back further as you land sitting on top of a dark blue mushroom. It’s big, soft, almost velvety as you lay your palms flat against it. It almost feels like a bed made of feathers. How strange. He puts a hand on your shoulder and gently shoves you back until you’re laying flat against the mushroom, the softness of it all taking over as your heart pounds in your chest. 
   You look up and see him stalking toward you like a starved dog, his smirk widening as his eyes darken and hound you. When he reaches the edge of the mushroom, he grabs your legs and slides you forward as you hear a small yelp escape your vocal cords. 
   “What are you… what are you doing?” you ask nervously as he slowly starts to part your legs while dragging his thick fingers up and down your thighs languidly. 
   “What’s it look like I’m doin’, hmm?” he asks, smirking as he cocks an eyebrow up and digs his nail beds into your flesh, making a coat of slick fall against your now sticky panties. 
   He moves up, up, up until he’s hovering over your clothed folds, brushing ever so gently against the damp material. Oh, fuck. He teases the waistband of the material and skims over the soft skin underneath, making you bite your bottom lip as you practically beg him with your needy eyes to keep going. 
   “You want me to keep goin’, baby? You gotta tell me what you want. Use your words, c’mon.”
   “I… yes, I…” you stutter out, unable to say anything else as he barely slides the waistband down, just enough to where you feel the gentle breeze blow against your nearly exposed pussy. 
   Oh, fuck. 
   “You want me to make you feel good? Want me to take all that stress and pent up energy away?” he asks as his eyes start to pulse into dark pits. “Hmm?” he hums as he brushes the heel of his palm into your dripping center, making you jump at the jolt of electricity. 
   “Please. Fuck, Joel. Please,” you beg as he hikes your light blue skirt over your hips and presses his thumb into your clothed folds that are already soaking for him. 
   “Goddamn, darlin’. Already so fuckin’ wet for me,” he hisses as he slips his thumb inside the lace material and brushes his thumb against your soft folds. 
   He groans as he feels just how wet you are for him. “You have no idea how good I’m gonna make you feel, baby. Just lay back and let me take care of this pretty pussy,” he smirks. 
   He grabs the edges of the material and slides them fluidly down your legs as he throws them to the ground. He stands back and rakes his hand painfully through his scruff as he knits his eyebrows together and groans at the sight of you. 
   “Goddamn it, you’re so pretty, baby. Fuck,” he groans as he pushes your knees apart and stares at your pulsing core, a look of pure pain crossing his tan face. 
   He falls to his knees on the bed of grass as he slowly starts to trail kisses up your legs. He starts at your ankle, slowly working his way up the side of your knee, then pressing sweet kisses to the inside of your thighs as he works you up nice and slow. 
   He slowly blows a wave of air across your exposed center and lavishly runs his hands up and down your thighs as you feel more slick start to form between your thighs. 
   “Oh, baby. Fuckin’ drippin’ for me. You look so sweet, just wanna eat you up,” he groans as he places a tender kiss into the crease of your thigh and then slowly, slowly reaches your center, right where you want him. 
   “Oh,” you breathe out, forgetting how to take even breaths as your body starts to shake. 
   “Eyes on me, darlin’. Want you to watch,” he purrs, his eyes dark pits as he hooks his meaty hands around your thighs and smirks up at you. “Eyes. On. Me.”
   He slowly licks a thick stripe from your dripping hole and glides it up against your soft folds as he repeats the action two more times. You let out a breathy moan as his tongue makes all your nerve endings come alive. Wildfire burning through your body, begging him to give you more. 
   “Joel,” you moan as he teases the tops of your folds with his large tongue, smirking as his drool runs down your pussy. 
   “You taste so fuckin’ sweet, darlin’,” he coos out. “Just hang on.”    
   He lifts his mouth and slowly lets saliva that’s pooling in his mouth drip over your throbbing pussy, letting the warm sensation cover you in bliss. He breathes in deep and then spits on you as he meticulously rubs the fluid around and around and around, rubbing his thumb in tight circles around your aching clit. 
   You writhe against him and part your lips open, knitting your eyebrows together as the sensation makes your head feel dizzy and light. You choke on another moan as he stares deeply into your eyes as he circles and circles and circles. Rubbing just the right areas as more slick drips down his calloused fingers. 
   “Joel,” you whine as his calloused thumb presses deeper against your clit. 
   “That’s right, baby. I’ve got you. Hang on, sweetheart. Not gonna stop till I have you coming on my tongue,” he growls.”
   He plunges his soft lips down on you as he parts your folds with his fingers and laps soft circles against your puffy clit. You moan as he devours you and tilt your head back in pure bliss as you stare up at the fluffy cotton candy clouds. 
   You flutter your eyelashes as you tilt your head to look down at him, his blown out pupils staring up at you wide-eyed as he feasts on you nice and slow. He pulls your throbbing bundle of nerves into his warm mouth, and it takes everything in you to keep from coming in that instant. 
   He slips two fingers inside your dripping hole as he plunges deep inside you, curling his fingers up to hit that spot that makes you see stars in your blurry vision. You twist your fingers into his tousled curls as he moans against you, pulling your clit back into his mouth as he sucks you down, down, down. 
   You hear the squelching noises of his fingers plunging in and out of you, feel the pressure building in your spine as he licks and sucks your glistening clit. You feel like you’re on cloud nine, feel as if it’s just you and Joel in this fantasy land, feel as if you could come undone at any moment as the wet noises seem to echo through the blowing breeze. 
   You feel your walls start to clench up as he quickens his pace of his fingers inside you, licking long stripes up your core as you moan out his name again and again and again. You’re so close, so close to spilling yourself all over him as you tighten your fingers through his curls and arch your back off the matte blue mushroom. 
   “C’mon, baby. Come for me. Let me see you let go,” he coaxes as he presses against your spongy walls and pulls your clit into his mouth as he sucks you deep. That’s what does it for you. 
   “Fuck, Joel. I… I’m coming,” you moan as you feel your walls clench up one more time and then release, white hot liquid spilling down as he laps you up nice and slow. 
   Your vision goes black as you tilt your head to the sky and let your body ease into a relaxed state as you come down from your orgasm. You feel your breath come in rapid waves as you fight for air to build back in your lungs, your core still on fire for Joel as he laps up all your slick in between your legs. 
   He stands tall as his large body leans over you, your legs straddling around him as he stands in between your thighs. Your slick glistens on his patchy scruff and mustache, and it makes you that much wetter as your eyes trail over his ravenous features. 
   “Did so good, baby. So good,” he praises as he brings one hand to caress your cheek affectionately, making you tingle all over at the fondness of the touch. 
   “That was… that was incredible,” you gasp out as he smirks down at you, the warm flecks of his eyes shining down on you like a golden ray of sunshine. 
   Warm. He’s so warm. 
   “Glad I could indulge in your fantasies,” he chuckles as he brings his hand back down your side, his fingers tracing delicately down your hip as he makes his way over your thigh, slowly trailing up and down in slow motions. 
   “You’re gonna give me another one,” he smirks, his pupils expanding into black pits as he brushes against your sensitive folds.
   “Another one? But I’m so sensitive, Joel. I don’t know if I can…” you whine, panting between breaths as you think about him giving you another mind blowing orgasm. 
   “Oh, trust me. You can and you will,” he growls between his teeth as he starts to move his fingers up and down your folds again, starting a fire down in the pits of your core. “Tell me yes, sweetheart. Tell me it’s okay.”
   Your mind fogs over as you nod your head and whisper out, “Okay. Okay.”
   “You trust me?” he asks with a cocked brow, his fingers slowly gliding up and down your center, already building slick against his thick fingers. 
   “I trust you,” you nod, biting your lip as you hold back a moan. 
   “Yeah ya do,” he smirks. “Don’t hold back now, baby. Wanna hear those loud moans.”
   He presses his calloused fingers deeper against your center, spreading your folds as he starts to circle his slick coated fingers against your puffy clit. He spits down again on your pussy and gathers the spit on his fingers, making you more soaked as you hear the sticky, wet sounds of thick fingers against drenched skin. 
   He hovers over you, leaning against his arm as he stares intensely down at you with those big black pits of his. Your mouth drops open as he flicks against your clit faster, faster, faster until your eyes start to roll back as you feel the blood rushing between your legs. 
   “That’s a good girl,” he praises as you moan at the sweet words, nearly blacking out as the intense sensations wash over your entire body. You grab onto his flannel shirt as you fight for your life, your second orgasm so close to breaking that you feel like you’re about to lose control. 
   “C’mon, give it to me. Let me see you come again, baby,” he coos as he presses down harder onto your throbbing clit, his hand moving side to side faster and faster as you feel your back arch off the velvet mushroom. 
   It all happens so fast. You let the vibrations buzz through your body, starting at your head that slips slowly down your body as you curl your toes and roll your eyes back. You feel the hot heat start to slide out of you as you release for him, more come pouring out than last time as you feel the ecstasy encase your entire body. 
   “Oh, that’s a good fuckin’ girl. Goddamn,” he moans as he slows his fingers to gentle strokes and makes sure he works you through your orgasm entirely. 
   You lay there with half hooded eyes, your fingers still curled around his flannel as you slowly release and drop them down next to you. You feel satiated, satisfied, but yet you still want more. 
   When he starts to back away, you grab his wrist and prevent him from moving out of your range. “Wait, Joel. I need… want more,” you gasp out, your breath winded and tired as you fight to stay completely in one piece. 
   He knits his eyebrows together and turns your head to face him, his large fingers cupping your chin as he stares down at you with intense eyes. “You want more?” he asks softly. 
   “Yes, yes,” you whine out, almost embarrassed by how needy you sound. 
   He chuckles and shakes his head back and forth. “Think you can handle it, sweetheart? Not too tired?” he asks with a sly smirk as the crow’s feet pull at the corners of his eyes. 
   He’s so fucking perfect. 
   “Mm-mm,” you shake your head, your hand reaching for his flannel as he lets you grasp on to him. 
   “Alright, but you asked for it, darlin’. Gonna give ya what you need,” he smirks as he slowly unbuckles his leather belt, unzipping the zipper of his denim jeans as he slides them and his black briefs down, letting his leaking cock press against his soft tummy. 
   You gasp at how massive he is, the precum spilling over as you wonder what it tastes like, what it feels like inside you.
   He crawls on top of your body, crowding your space as you feel overwhelmed by the smell of his woodsy, pine scent. It intoxicates you, drives you mad as you fist at his flannel shirt, desperate to get him as close as humanly possible without completely jumping into your skin. 
   “Joel,” you whine, pawing at the flannel material as you beg him to take you. 
   He cups your chin in his large palm and looks you deep in the eyes. “Relax, sweetheart. Let me give you what you need,” he coos. 
   He lines up with your entrance as he teases you, sliding the tip of his cock up and down your folds as he collects your slick and his spit, already starting a fire in your core as he brushes past your sensitive clit. 
   “Fuck,” you hiss as his teasing torments you. 
   “Mmm, that’s right, gorgeous. Gonna take ya now, gonna make all your worries disappear,” he whispers as he hooks your legs over his shoulders and slides his slippery cock inside you. 
   Your mind goes numb, your brain stilling as the air seems to shift colorfully around you. It’s like the clouds turn pink, misty blue as colors swirl around your vision, making it look like you’re inside a make believe dream. Ecstasy, blinding pleasure erupts through your body every time he ruts up deeper inside you. His cock thrusting, thrusting, thrusting, so deep that it hits that spot that has your ears ringing with white noise. 
   He gives, gives, gives himself to you, making you cry out with blissful moans as he bends your knees to your chest and fucks into you deeper, harder than before. The sensation builds, your third orgasm right on the edge every time he gives more of himself to you, ravaging you until you can barely take it anymore. 
   “You’re so fucking beautiful moaning my name, sweetheart. Squeezin’ me so tight,” he breathes out raggedly as sweat builds against his forehead, making his curls stick together as he breaks the distance and crashes his lips down on top of yours. 
   The kiss is hungry, needy, starving as your tongue collides with his; his hips rocking back and forth between yours. You taste yourself on him, let the salty, sweet flavor run down your glossy lips as your moans twist together in unison. A sweet melody that fills the air as you get lost in each other’s ecstasy. 
   He bottoms out in you, thrusting faster and faster until you’re on the verge of tears. You’re so sensitive, your body on the edge of spilling again as you hear the slick slap of skin on skin through the air. 
   “Joel, I’m gonna… I’m about to…” you cry out as a tear licks at the corner of your eye. You’re not going to last any longer. 
   “Come for me, baby. Let me feel you,” he coaxes against your lips, his forehead leaning on yours as he speeds up his thrusts. He hits your spongy spot one more time, and that has you clawing the back of his neck as your hands tangle in the hair at the scruff of his neck. 
   You clench up around his thick cock and then spill all over him, milky hot come leaking down your thighs as he groans against your lips as you echo a low moan back to him. 
   “Fuck, that’s a good girl,” he praises as he thrusts deeper, deeper, deeper until he’s bottom out time and time again. You’re on cloud nine as you feel his cock drive into you, feel your body go numb against his hold on you as you feel him start to lose control. 
   “Gonna-fuck, I’m gonna come. I’m gonna-” His mouth drops open and his eyebrows furrow together as he moans out your name, thick ropes of come painting your insides as your eyes roll back at the warm sensation. 
   He ruts up once more in you, spilling his entire seed as you both breathe in foggy, dense air. Arousal and the smell of sex envelop the wind, blowing down your body as you smell nothing but you and him mixing together to paint the skies red. He takes a minute of just keeping his cock inside you as he runs a hand down your cheek affectionately, warm eyes sinking into yours as his lips curl into the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen. 
   “Did so good for me, my girl. So good,” he praises as he cups your cheek and plants a gentle kiss across your lips. You drink him down, wanting to remember how he tastes like honeysuckle and sugar cookies. He tastes like something you want to imprint in your memory. 
   When he releases, he slowly slides out of you. You moan at the loss of him, but he scoops you up in his arms when he lays flat on his back. He feels warm, secure, safe. He feels like someplace you want to stay forever. Your eyelids start to flutter closed, your body unable to stay awake any longer. You’re so tired, so worn out from the sex. You just need to rest a little, let your mind enter into the thick fog. 
   “Joel, I’m so tired,” you slur as your words start mixing together, your eyelids growing heavy against your eyes.
   “Go to sleep, baby. I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” he hums out, his strong arms pulling you closer into his chest as you let your mind fade into the darkness. Your vision goes black as you fall asleep instantly, knowing you’re safe in Joel’s arms. 
-
   When you start to wake up from your nap, you smell the scent of fresh roses lingering in the air and hear the sounds of cheerful birds chirping in the distance. As you start to shift your body and start to flutter your eyes open, you feel movement underneath you. You feel the broad chest underneath you as he slowly breathes in and out, feeling how warm he is with your fingers tangled in his soft flannel. 
   When your eyes finally open, he smiles up as you as his fingers rake down your scalp. “There you are, darlin’. Was starting to wonder when you’d wake up. You were out for a couple hours,” he says with a deep, sleepy edge to his voice. He must’ve fallen asleep at some point, too. 
   You hum out against his chest, your chin laying on his chest as you look up at his warm eyes, those eyes that make you melt with longing. “You just wore me out so much that I couldn’t stay awake any longer. You really know how to get a girl to fall asleep, huh?” you ask with a smile widening on your face. 
   He laughs and hugs you tighter to him. “Just givin’ ya what you needed, sweetheart. Happy to oblige anytime,” he smirks as you laugh again and shake your head. 
   You relax against his body as his hand runs gently up and down your scalp, sending you into a trance-like state as you rest your hands under your chin and stare up at him. His eyes are so warm, the smile that’s curled at the corners of his mouth sending sparks down your body. He feels so familiar, like you’ve known him for much longer than a day. 
   Your eyebrows knit together as you study his features, tracing the lines on his forehead with your eyes as you look deep into those golden brown irises. And something like a flash of lightning hits your mind, a distant memory flashing before your eyes as you go wide-eyed. You do know him. You’ve seen him before. You’ve been here before. 
   “You… this isn’t the first time I’ve seen you before, is it?” you whisper as your throat runs dry. “I’ve been here before, haven’t I?” You know him. You know him. 
   He sighs, a held in breath leaving his lips as he smiles affectionately at you. “Yes. You’ve been here before, sweetheart. This isn’t the first time.” It’s like all the weight is emptied from his body as his face relaxes and his chest feels less tense now. 
   “I knew you all along…” you whisper out incredulously. 
   “You did, baby. Welcome back. Didn’t know if you’d ever find your way again,” he says sadly as his eye color changes to a somber brown. 
   “But how did I… how did I even get here?” 
   “You were drowning, sweetheart. You needed an escape. You unlocked the door. You found us again. We’ve been waiting so long, so very long,” he whispers as he hooks a loose curl behind your ear, his eyes slipping into yours as he rests his forehead on yours, a form of intimacy that feels like home. He feels like home. 
   You lay there breathing each other’s air like oxygen, your lips tangling against each other as you lap up his honeysuckle taste, burning the taste into your memory as if it’s the most important thing in the world. 
   After a few minutes of getting lost in each other, he helps you up as you stand firm against the lush green grass. He helps you slide the lace panties back into place, covering your sticky center as you fall back into his chest, wrapping your arms around his broad back. 
   You hear a faint buzzing a few feet away from you, the sound like white noise in your ears. When you turn, you see an open doorway as painted red roses spill over the dark entryway. Your eyebrows crease together as you look at it carefully. It’s calling to you, almost like it wants you to follow. 
   Joel sighs, a defeated sound rasping from his throat as he looks at you with sad eyes. “Think it’s time for you to go back, sweetheart,” he huffs, his calloused fingers twisting around yours as he holds you close. 
   “Go back? But I just got here,” you say with wide eyes, feeling your stomach drop as you take in the meaning of his words. 
   “I know, darlin’, I know.” His face contorts with agony, his eyes on the verge of falling apart, but he puts himself back together as he cups your chin. “You’re needed back at the party. They’re waiting for you,” he says as you hear the distant noise of champagne glasses and classic music floating through the air. The party, it was still happening?
   “But I’ve been here for hours, how is it still going on?” you ask with your nose scrunched up in question. 
   “Time is different here, it moves slower, much slower than the outside world,” he says as his honey eyes flick to the open door. “Wonderland moves on its own time. Funny thing isn’t it? How time works.”
   “Yeah, very strange,” you say with your words drifting off as you stare at the door. The door that’ll take you back to reality, to a place you don’t want to go back to. 
   He sees your distant glance and pulls your face back to him as he looks distinctly into your glistening eyes. “You need to go back, baby. Go finish the party.” He’s telling you that you need to go, but his hollow words are drifting into the void. He doesn’t want you to go, not really. 
   “But what if I don’t want to go back…” you say quietly with a locked jaw, tears pricking at the backs of your eyes. 
   Let me stay. Please, let me stay. 
   “The door is open, sweetheart. It won’t close again till you go through,” he says with a pained expression, his calloused fingers burning your skin as he glides his fingers over your jawline delicately. 
   You nod your head slowly, telling him you understand. Your eyes wade into the painted door, but your eyes snap back up to his. “What if I want to come back? How do I come back?”
   He smiles down at you as he pulls a chain out of his back pocket, a glistening necklace shining brightly in the sun as he opens up your palm and closes your fingers over it. “With this. This is the key that opens Wonderland. It’s yours now. Anytime you want to come back, all you have to do is ask. Think of me, think of Wonderland and hold the key. The door will open for you. All you have to do is ask.”
   You open your palm and trace the edges of the golden key with your fingers, letting the cool metal stain your skin as you see the intricate letters carved into the gold. Wonderland is written in cursive letters on the side as they reflect against the sunlight. Wonderland. The key that’ll take you back to wildflowers, twisting paths, and Joel. 
   He takes the necklace from your open palm and unlatches it as he circles behind you and places the necklace against your chest. “Hair up for me, sweetheart,” he asks as you quickly oblige. You lift your hair and let him latch the necklace into place as the cool metal key sears into your skin. You lift the key and smile, your whole world now in your hands. 
   He steps in front of you and cups your chin, letting his thumb trace your bottom lip as his eyes sink deep into your own. “Well, I guess this is goodbye, for now,” you say sadly as you let your hand linger on his flannel, hoping you can stay like this forever instead of going back to your boring dinner party. 
   “Hey,” he says as he brings your face closer to his, leveling his eyes with yours, “this isn’t goodbye, sweetheart. Not even close.” He leans down and kisses you deeply as you latch onto his flannel, promising yourself that you’ll be back. This isn’t goodbye, it couldn’t be. 
   He releases your lips and walks you to the door. As you look in, you see the long, lit up hallway that you came from earlier. You can hear the music, hear the muffled voices down the hall as you see fluorescent lights from the ballroom. This was it, you had to go. 
   Before you step through, Joel grabs your wrist and turns you around to face him. “I had the most perfect day with you, sweetheart. I can’t wait to see those beautiful eyes of yours again,” he says with a curled smile on his lips. 
   “Yeah?” 
   “Yeah.”
   You run your fingers through his tousled curls and hold his gaze just a little longer, memorizing every single golden fleck in his irises as you take in his chocolate eyes. “Thank you for showing me Wonderland again. I can’t believe I forgot. How could I have forgotten you,” you say wide-eyed. You’d never forget him, how did you forget in the first place when he was your favorite thing in the entire world. 
   “Guess you got lost in the outside world. I’m so glad you found your way back to me, my love.”
   My love. The words crash into you like a colliding car crash, hitting your insides with those familiar words that sound like music to your ears. My love. 
   Before you can question his words, he kisses you gently on the forehead and shoves you through the door as it closes behind you. You end up back in the long hallway as the sound of faded music seeps down the corridor. When you turn back around, there’s no door, only the painted white wall that burns into your eyes. You sigh and turn back around. 
   When you turn, your breath hitches. In the center of the hanging mirror with gold coated around the winding edges, you see Joel staring back at you. Your eyes widen as you walk up to the clear mirror. He looks like he’s standing right there, as if you can reach him with your mind.
   You reach your arm up and place your palm flat against the glass, his hand mirroring yours as you wish with all your might you could just feel his calloused fingers again pressed against your skin. You can’t feel him through the mirror though, he’s only a reflection in the glass that you so want to slip into. 
   He gives you a small smile as nods his head in the direction of the party. You turn toward the end of the hall, your eyes flicking toward the crowded room as you hear laughs and loud voices carry down the corridor. When you look back to the mirror, you only see your reflection. Joel’s gone. You hold back a tear as you sigh out heavily and turn back around. You guess you have to go back in there. 
   When you turn from the mirror and start to head down the hall, you gasp as you see a small blue butterfly fluttering its wings on the back of your hand. You take a closer look and go wide-eyed. 
   “Absolem?” you ask. You see what looks to be a gleam in his eye as he suddenly flies off and disappears into a dark corner of the room. You smile, feeling your insides calm down a bit as a piece of Wonderland slips into the real world. It’s a sign, a promise that you will be back to Wonderland. 
   You head down the long hallway as your click of your heels echo down the corridor, keeping your wide grin stretched across your face. When you turn into the sea of jewel cladded necks and pressed suits, you can’t help but think of painted roses and honey brown eyes. And it’s then you know you can get through the rest of the evening because you went to Wonderland. Your escape, your dream, your sanctuary. 
   Wonderland. You’d be back, you just know it. 
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When you walk back into your cozy apartment and shut the door, you flick on the dim lights and start to walk to your room. You play with the golden key that’s latched around your neck, tracing the smooth edges as your thumb glides across the word Wonderland. 
   Wonderland. God, you wish you could go back right now. You want to, you need to. 
   Suddenly, a thousand feelings crash into you all at once. It’s like you get struck by lightning, zapping your brain into a dense fog as if you suddenly wake up from a deep sleep. You remember, you remember it all. 
   You close your eyes and the vivid pictures paint your mind. You can see you and Joel back in Wonderland painting pictures by the pond, can see yourself tumbling in the wildflowers with him, can taste his sugar coated lips after he fed you a piece of cake, can smell the rose scented air as he told you he loved you that first time in a bed of white and crimson red roses. It wasn’t all a dream. It was real, he is real. 
   Joel, your love. How could you forget?
   When you open your eyes, you jump as you see exactly what you were pining for all evening. Joel. Joel’s leaning against your cream colored walls, his arms crossed over his chest as he smirks up at you with those honey glazed eyes that you can’t get enough of. 
   “Joel?” you breathe out, your voice cracking as you can’t believe he’s in your room at this very moment. 
   “Miss me already, darlin’?” he chuckles, his lips coated in warmth as the door to Wonderland stands wide open behind him, different shades of roses and flying butterflies leaking into your dimly lit bedroom. 
   “How are you here?” you ask amazed as your eyes go wide. 
   He’s here. He’s here. 
   “You were calling to me,” he says as he nods to your key hooked around your neck that your finger is still sliding against. “You haven’t even been gone a couple of hours, baby. You missed me that much?” he teases as his laugh fills the room. 
   “Yes.” You let the key fall back against your chest and run over to him, slamming your body against him as you wrap your arms around him. 
   “I remember, Joel. I remember it all,” you say out of breath as a tear falls down your cheek. “How could I forget. How could I fucking forget?” you ask wildly as another hot tear runs down your face. You feel his calloused thumb wipe the tears away as he lifts your face up to his. 
   “It’s alright, baby. It’s all okay now. You just got lost inside the chaos of the outside world. I’m so happy you made it back, my love. I’ve missed you so so much,” he coos as he pulls you into his chest and runs a hand soothingly up and down your back, calming the storm that swirled inside you just seconds ago. 
   “Take me home,” you beg as you run your fingers through the edge of his scruff, causing him to groan in response. 
   “C’mon, sweetheart. Let’s go home.” He grabs your hand and pulls you through the wide open door, watching it close tightly behind you as it locks in place and disappears behind a bed of painted white roses. 
   Joel smiles and pulls you to his chest as he hooks his hands around your hips. “Sweetheart,” he coos as he gently cups the sides of your face and brings his forehead down against yours, “please tell me you’re never leaving again. Stay, stay with me. Stay in Wonderland where you belong. We’ve all missed you so much, but especially me. I’ve waited for your return for so long. I can’t bear to lose you again.”
   You smile up at him as you brush your lips over his, breathing in his honeysuckle taste as you nod your head slowly. “I’m never leaving again. Never ever. I’m staying here with the white rabbit, with the Cheshire Cat, with everyone. But most importantly I’m staying with you, my love.” You echo his words of my love back to him as he smiles down at you. 
   “Welcome home, my love. I’m never letting you go again.”
   He crashes his lips down to yours as you melt into his touch, his taste, his scent. You feel the warm air encase you as you get lost in him, in all of him. And you know now that this is where you belong. You belong in Wonderland with Joel. 
   And so you begin your lifetime full of adventures with the best way you know possible, getting lost in Joel, in your favorite Wonderland.   
Tags in case you want to read 🩷: @littlevenicebitch69 @lotusbxtch @keylimebeag @blueseastorm @akah565 @r3dheadedwitch @laurrrra @burntheedges @msjarvis @dugiioh @pedrostories @vee-bees-blog @forgetmenotsexy @copiasghoulfriend @vividispunk @strawberri-blonde @thischarmingmandalorian @sawymredfox @reddedmiller @tuquoquebrute @joelalorian @ozarkthedog @casa-boiardi @morallyinept @kirsteng42 @amyispxnk
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overnowsfcb · 10 months
Text
worth it for once; pedri
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summary: sometimes the show must not go on. what happens when the curtains fall?
warnings: angst, smut (dom!pedri, pool sex, hickey, blow job (v), masturbation and self-masturbation (p), pet names) mature language, abuse of alcohol, toxic relationship dynamics, emotional distress. if any of these topics makes you uncomfortable, i advise against reading this story.
word count: 5.9k
note: hi! first of all i wanted to thank everyone who interacted with 'halfway out the door', you don't even know how much it means to me that people can read my stories. i knew i said i would do some fluff, but i feel like im not good at it. i cant seem to let the reader be happy can i? (this fic is so long i feel like i got a bit carried away)
p.s.: this is my first time ever writing smut, im sorry if its too bad. also! 'halfway out the door' has ninety percent of possibility to have a second part.
p.s. 2: the party ended an hour ago and he still there. another thing that i wanted to say is that FOR ME 'slut!' is not a love song so that is my reason for this, i take my interpretation of the song and write it down — venus 🫂💐🫧
The sun's rays slipped through the white curtain covering the partially open window, letting in the morning breeze. You nestled in the sheets, still drowsy, but as you did, you snapped wide awake, realizing once again that Pedri wasn't by your side.
You turned over, hoping it was a dream, but the only remnants of him in the room were his lingering scent and memories of the night before, replaying in your mind.
The way he touched you, tracing each of the invisible scars left by your previous lovers who sought only their own pleasure, using you to their liking without paying attention to your desires.
He was different. His kisses felt like a religious experience, filling you with an ever-growing sense of fulfillment. Nothing wrapped around you more securely than the feeling of having him inside of you, merging under the lustful gaze of the moon that welcomed you on a tailor-made altar, adorned with soft sheets and sensations that turned into a celestial orchestra.
And although the next day, perhaps his flaws became evident, your infatuation took you beyond, closing the curtain of the stage within your mind; you didn't have to be displeased or critical when admiring a work of art, right?
When the strength left from the previous night was regained under pressure, and your mind returned to the frosty present, you sat up in bed, feeling your head heavy, needing to blink several times to clear the blurriness that clouded your eyes due to sleep.
Your feet rested on the wooden floor. You didn’t want to face another day with the pain of the mandatory conviction your heart held towards your mind, aiming it with a gun if it tried to move from there.
You sighed with closed eyes and gathered your clothes scattered around the room. When you finished dressing, you approached the window and inhaled a breath of air to refresh your thoughts.
You left your room; the squeak of the door echoed through the house, signaling to Elena that you had already woken up. You couldn't lie; you were afraid to face her.
She, your best friend since you desperately looked for someone to share an apartment with after the owners of your previous apartment unjustly left you out in the cold.
She, who warmly welcomed you full of empathy and commiseration, helped you deal with the storm by receiving you in a studio apartment with an air mattress. She became the person you adored most in the whole world and never lacked frankness in her words.
Both of you moved forward together; now, you succeeded in modeling, and you could search for something much more comfortable living now in a pent-house, but always side by side.
You arrived at the spacious kitchen connected to the dining room and were met with an exquisite aroma, akin to the dishes she professionally prepared. You tied your hair in a ponytail and moved the chair to sit facing the counter.
Crossed fingers and your chin resting on your hands, you noticed she expected your presence when she twisted her torso, leaving a plate with toast and homemade raspberry jam on the marble counter in front of you.
You waited a moment to grab one of the perfectly made toasts and spread the jam in the toast; you felt the tension in the air. You knew of her disapproving stance regarding your situation with Pedri, and you knew she was preparing the usual sermon.
"Want to say something about it?" It was as if she had read your mind; turning her back, you sat up straighter on the stool, your distressed chest making your heart pump more blood than usual.
"No," you replied dryly, as you took a bite of toast.
"Alright, then it'll be up to me." You felt fear travel up your spine to the buzzing in your head and a high-pitched tone ringing in your ears.
You tried to breathe normally, but it was impossible. Her actions guided your eyes; she put the angel food cake in the oven and turned around, sitting on the stool in front of you, looking at you incredulously.
"He left at seven in the morning. When was the last time he stayed the following morning with you? I know you don't want to hear this, and I understand that you're into him. But don't let that blind you from what's really happening here. You're too intelligent for this, too good for someone who treats you like an option." Her words were always harsh, and she never hesitated to tell you the bleak truth without flinching. But it wasn't what you needed now, and her words were insignificant in front of the formidable figure that Pedri occupied in your mind.
There were very few people who dared to challenge your perspective, and Elena was brave enough to do it, even though her attempts always ended in defeats.
And defeats consisted in your denial, where you decided to take off your glasses after seeing what was there. You knew it existed and acknowledged it deep down, but hearing someone throw out statements so lightly without knowing him in the homely intimacy where he could unfold without prejudices, was something only you could discover.
The 'Open Sesame' didn't work with all tones, and not everyone acquired the privilege of opening such a treasure. So, you assumed it was envy.
"Maybe it’s a mess, maybe it’s complicated, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth a damn!" Your voice began to rise in volume the more anger you vented at her, who was innocent of it all. You noticed her furrowed brow, her attempts to help, every time she threw you a lifeline, you chose to ignore it, believing you could swim the remaining yards to shore alone.
You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, trying to find a balance, but your aggressiveness seemed to have reached its peak.
"I’ll sort it out myself, alright?" You exhaled, continuing your defense. "So just back off, Ele. I’m sick of needing your approval for everything. I’ll make my choices, even if they’re not in your rulebook." You spoke with a passive-aggressive tone. "You think you know him? You have no clue, none whatsoever." You got up from your seat, giving the countertop a light tap, and shook your head indignantly.
"I just want what's best for you, y/n," She whispered, looking you in the eyes with honesty. You headed towards the door disappearing from her sight.
You knew that she wanted to protect you like she did from the very first moment.
Despite being your age, she showed herself to be more mature than you. You were like her baby chick, and she had the instinct to keep you under her wings, but she had to admit that you had to learn defense by yourself.
And sometimes you need to fail to build your path.
There was no better remedy in your routine than drowning yourself in work to stop thinking about all the dilemmas surrounding your life. At least for a few hours.
Growing within the fashion industry was difficult without contacts; if you wanted to achieve something, you had to consider the hurdles you might carry in your backpack. But your resilience and pride prevented anyone else, terrified of having a future of subordination, from winning.
Today's meetings were about agreements for your brand, a dream that grew with you from your mom reading you bedtime stories to the present day.
You had put so much effort and creativity into your project that, regardless of what happened externally, your priority would always be there. No affair or argument could steer you away from that.
All your distractions due to logical thoughts vanished upon arriving at your apartment. You turned on the lights; Elena had left you a message informing you that she would stay at her boyfriend's house for the night.
Your home felt empty without her blasting music through the speakers and constant movements around the house. You cracked your neck, leaving your faux leather coat on the entryway rack. You lazily tossed your bag onto the couch, sitting beside it. You unbuckled your heels, freeing your feet.
A contained sigh escaped your nostrils, easing your chest a bit. You heard thousands of notifications coming from your bag. Worried, you unzipped it and searched for the phone, unsure of what was happening.
You glanced at the news headlines and the numerous social media posts where you were being tagged. You thought you had successfully escaped last time. The carefully revised alibi by both managers to divert media attention from your relationship had been futile.
But it seemed not entirely effective; without any evidence or concrete proof, just a blurry and deficient photo was enough for them to create a compelling scene for the public.
You clicked on a specific article; its name caught your attention, "The New Target of Love: The Boy in Her Chaos - Will He Survive?" You knew it wasn't the smartest decision you could make; the echoes of the voices of the people closest to you resonated in your ears. But you were alone and had nothing better to do at that moment.
The devil on your right shoulder encouraged and forced you to keep reading; with each sentence and word, your tear ducts were ready to expel the salty drops from your eyes.
You couldn't understand why journalists consistently targeted your romantic relationships instead of focusing on your professional endeavors, where you worked, and strived every day to show the world that you were more than just a pretty face. But in a sexist world, you had to accept without a murmur the things they wrote without any pity, driven by money and interactions.
Had you signed up for this life, or was it something gradually inserted into your brain about what it had to be?
You found yourself seated at your computer with a bottle of wine by your side, seemingly engrossed in reading each of the articles criticizing you and perpetuating a negative reputation of yourself.
You had poured a small amount of the burgundy liquid into your glass. Some sort of masochism consumed you, and without noticing, you began to pour more and more wine into the glass, your heart filling with misery, pausing at every clever word that defined your identity on the internet. Because all of the words seemed monotone.
Until the glass was no longer enough to swallow the bitter pill, you stared at the bottle, contemplating your next move. You shrugged and reached for the bottle with difficulty, your vision truly distorted, no longer having a sense of space.
You leaned back in the couch and took a long swig that burned your throat, feeling your heart rate rise.
You decided you had gone too far, abruptly leaving the computer on the table in front of you. When you tried to get up, you fell backward by inertia, unbalanced. That's when you realized you weren't even paying attention to the news but mindlessly scrolling your mouse.
The tears you had been holding back for over an hour and a half streamed down your cheeks immediately. Now, you couldn't turn back and felt trapped within your own uncontrollable body.
Gut-wrenching sobs made your body tremble, and at that moment, all you could think of was his touch, how every time you cried, he carefully wiped your cheeks and assured you that this too shall pass.
With tears and alcohol blurring your vision, it wasn't hard to find his number as you had it pinned in your messaging app. You opened his chat and immediately tapped the call icon.
You placed your phone to your ear, hearing the beeps from the other end, while your body, consumed by sorrow, couldn't help but continue shedding tears.
You perceived a noticeable change from silence to a clear indication that the call had been answered. You tried to stifle your crying by biting your lip, but it seemed this battle wouldn't let you emerge victorious.
"Love, are you crying?" You wanted to respond, but his voice only intensified your desire to cry; you longed to feel his warmth. You still didn't understand why you decided to go this far. "y/n, I'm worried. Did something happen? Did someone hurt you?" You tried to take a deep breath to provide an answer.
You wiped your tears with the back of your hand and then placed it on your chest, trying to assist in the calming process. "It's so exhausting." These were the words that came out of your mouth as you exhaled.
He still didn't understand exactly what you were talking about, but you kept talking. "I think I can't be with you anymore." Your voice came out strained; you truly didn't want to say those words. You clung to the arm of the chair with one hand, squeezing it, waiting to hear the response on the other side.
"What?" He couldn't comprehend how he had woken up at two in the morning, and you were talking about cutting ties. "Love, listen to me. Why don't you go to sleep, and tomorrow, we spend the day at the country house?" On the other end of the line, he easily realized the moment he picked up that you were drunk.
"Okay." You affirmed with a nod, resting your head on the armrest, and lifting your feet to stretch out on the sofa. "I love you a lot." Your face contracted again, a sign that tears would return.
"You too." He replied, and you were the one who ended the call, slightly calmer about the reflections the articles had left and the incoherent thoughts that had arisen from them.
You left the phone by your side and curled up, hugging yourself, seeking warmth without the help of a blanket. You closed your eyes, praying that the world would change radically tomorrow, although you knew it was an unlikely hope. You never wished more than for whoever was in the sky to give you a new chance to love in the right way.
You needed to believe in someone; you needed assistance from the universe to not lose the hope that once brought you immense joy. But perhaps genuine love was like Santa Claus, and sooner or later, it would crumble like any other ingenious belief.
And like a shrewd child who receives his Christmas gifts with the same enthusiasm even after learning the hidden truth, you dipped your feet into the transparent chlorinated water.
He watched each of your movements attentively, leaning on one of the pool edges. You plunged, soaking your entire body, and swam towards his direction, resurfacing enveloped in laughter with him.
He embraced you, sharing some of his warmth to your cold body due to the sudden change in the water, and you placed your hands around his waist, looking up at him from his chest.
"I love you so much." You bit your lip, seeking an outlet for your love. He rested his hands on your cheeks and began planting short kisses that spread across your entire face.
"I love you more." He reciprocated, giving two gentle taps on your legs. You jumped, and he took you into his arms grabbing your ass.
Quickly, he changed his position, leaving your back resting on the cold pool wall. The chills went up through your spinal cord, fusing the temperature of the edge and its expression, which never went out of style to make you think that everything you needed was there, with him.
You ran his sculpted shoulders with your palms open, feeling his muscles and intertwined your fingers behind his neck, brushing his hair.
Your lips brushed, and you could feel the electricity that could arise from a simple and minimal contact.
He brought his face to you, holding you tight against the concrete.
It was undeniable the indissoluble bond tied by the threads that led you each time to the same situation, and the core of your life was nourished by its bond.
As your lips collided with fervor, eager to quell the fervent passion, you pulled him closer with your legs still entwined around his waist. Feeling his hardness against your core ignited arousal as he pressed himself firmly, and both of you gasped in the midst of the kiss at the electrifying contact.
Your lips didn't want to part, too hungry for each other's sweet taste. You caught his lower lip between your teeth, pulling it gently to invite your tongue into his mouth. It had become sloppy as you lightly tugged his hair, eliciting a groan.
His hand stealthily ascended, never parting from your lips, traveling from your ass to the back of your neck, sending shivers down your spine.
His tender lips traced a pattern from your cheeks to your neck. You tilted your head back, offering more of your skin for his exploration.
Expertly, his fingers unraveled the straps of your bikini with a single pull, still nestled in your neck. As the air grazed your tightened nipples, your breath hitched when he took one between his fingers, fidgeting and further intensifying the sensation.
Your sensitive boobs elicited desperate whimpers as he continued grinding against you, creating a symphony of pleasure. The air thickened, and your bodies radiated heat.
His lips passionately suctioned a spot, causing your eyes to roll. You were well aware that he would leave a hickey there.
Moving from your neck, his lips trailed down to your collarbone. Frustration built as he skillfully teased the sides of your breasts, deliberately avoiding the attention where you craved it most.
"Pedri, please..." You gently tugged his strands, prompting him to lift his head. Counterfeit innocence gleamed in his pupils.
"What do you need, amor? Tell me, is there something I can do for you?" His gentle caress graced your cheek, and you melted into his simmering touch.
"Please..." He ceased grinding, his hand swiftly traversing to your neck, as your hand descended, grazing his abs.
"If only you could see this beautiful hickey right now," He whispered, tracing the mark and toying with you, his actions inviting your response as he often did.
It was exasperating; no matter how frequently you found yourself in such moments with him, articulating your desires remained a challenge.
"Just do something," you uttered, a touch of despondency in your voice, pouting with pleading eyes. Yet, he remained resolute.
"I just don't know what you want." He shook his head, gently placing a strand of hair behind your ear, mimicking your pout with a teasing tone.
"Alright... just please, babe, suck my tits," you replied with a hint of frustration. His corners lifted, forming a smile, having successfully achieved his goal.
"There she is, that's my good girl, aren't you?" You couldn't help but nod several times steadfastily, just wanting him to stop playing.
His face vanished from your sight as he covered one of your breasts with his mouth. A loud moan escaped your throat, a sound of satisfaction for him as he moved his tongue, savoring your skin. "Was it that difficult?" He gazed at you once more, and you sighed in irritation, prompting him to raise his eyebrows, questioning your actions.
"No." Your fingers traced his chest as he continued sucking with determination.
Moving lower, you reached the edge of the swim trunks' fabric. However, as you did, he pulled away with a frown. "Who said you could touch?" You mirrored his expression confused.
"Last night, you scared me a lot. Do you think it was funny for me? No, so you can't decide who's having fun, okay?" Your chest felt heavy, yet you found a strange allure in his dominant low voice, even though you wanted to object.
"I thought..." He wrapped his hand around your neck, pulling you back and shutting your mouth with his thumb. He watched as you sucked it, humming and biting his plump lips.
"You didn't think shit. Now, jump." He firmly gripped your hips, lifting you effortlessly to the pool's edge. Seated, you patiently awaited his guidance, uncertainty accelerating your heartbeat.
Intense eye contact heightened the tension. His fingers delicately traced over your thighs, starting from the outer part, then gently grazing your clothed intimacy. He devoured you with his gaze.
"Lean back for me, baby." You did as he pleased leaning in your elbows.
He tapped on your thighs, a signal to lift your hips, and he removed the sole fabric covering your body and throwing it to your side. He took your legs and placing them over his shoulders. Spreading you open. A groan escaped him at the sight, reveling in your arousal.
"So wet, just for me," he murmured, running his fingers through your folds, collecting your juices and parting your lips to spread the liquids.
You pressed closer, yearning for more. "Just for you." Suddenly, a firm spank on your sensitive area made you shudder, and you gasped. "Behave," he commanded, throwing you a dominant look.
Circling your clit, he gradually increased the pace. Tilted back, moans escaped uncontrollably. Another spank followed, and you met his gaze. "Keep your eyes on me, princess. Watch as I pleasure you like no one else could."
His words wielded a powerful influence in every scenario. Returning to your pussy, he made his way to slip two fingers inside you easily as you were soaked by now. The reflex to close your eyes surfaced, but his commanding words echoed in your mind.
He initiated a rhythmic motion, penetrating and withdrawing, targeting your most sensitive depths, obscene wet sounds, thumb still teasing your bud. Overwhelmed by the intensity, you sought stability, bringing your index finger to your mouth, biting down to anchor yourself. "You can grab my hair, baby," he suggested, prompting a satisfying sigh as you obediently followed his directive.
As the synchronization of your movements intensified, he decided to elevate the pleasure further. His mouth joined the sensual dance, lasciviously spitting your core, eliciting a contented hum from you.
As his mouth drew near your clit, enveloping it ably, a scream escaped your lips, worthy of a scene of a pornographic film. His name slipped through your mouth, an inadvertent encouragement that fueled his tenacity to excel, delve deeper, move faster, and render you numb in ecstasy.
In the intimacy, he displayed a reflection of his approach on the field, always seeking ways to enhance and achieve peak performance, a relentless pursuit of reaching his full potential at what he knew he was one of the bests, even when he didn't want to admit it.
There was no sweeter melody than your filthy moans. His crotch throbbed aching, aware that just a few pumps would make him reach his climax. But he needed to focus on you first, even though he rolled his hips against the concrete, trying to calm down his needs.
He groaned, shutting his eyes and digging his tongue into your hole. Your legs entwined around his neck, the tight knot of pleasure building as you moved your hips in tandem with the rhythm of his tongue.
"Pedri, I'm..." You shouted, the words hanging in the air unfinished, as he entered both, fingers with tongue, increasing the pace with each successive motion.
He opened his eyes again, locking onto yours, brimming with passion beneath the sun. His nose brushing against your clit, combined with his bambi-like eyes in contrast to the authority he held over you, escalate the moment as you tightly grasped his hair, evoking the release of your juices.
He couldn't help but stop pressing against the wall and squeeze his shaft inescapably, captivated by the way you adhered to what he said, even if it meant he had to assert control with a firm hand, correcting your inclination to lean back a few times.
He loved how obedient you were and how your body reacted.
Your high-pitched sounds spurred him to slip his hand inside his swim trunks, almost moaning at the sensations created by his own touch and the enticing arch of your back. He found himself immersed in the sweet taste and intoxicating fragrance that surrounded him.
He went up and down with his hand on his dick fervently, trembling in sync with you. "Are you going to come, my love? Do it for me," his deep voice making you feel so close. You played with one of your hardened nipples between your fingers. You affirmed with the other hand on his hair, and he hummed against you in response. "Oh, my god." you mumbled.
His vibrations heightened your euphoria, and the combination of his tongue and fingers left you feeling overstimulated. As you screamed arching your back, you became undone, laying flat, straightening your arms at your side and shuddering as you felt him persisting in his ministrations.
Too blind to reach his own pleasure to think about anything else, he continued pounding his dick, gripping his tip as he parted his lips, releasing ecstatic sounds and feeling the reverberations across his body. Leaning against your abdomen, he sensed his shots filling his shorts as he lowered his pace.
You tenderly ran your fingers through his sweaty hair, both basking in the tranquility of the moment as his chest rose and fell. Minds empty.
"Come here, baby," you whispered. He propelled himself up from the water and leaned flat at your side.
As you lay down on the cold poolside with him, he placed his hand on your waist, burying his head in your neck. He rubbed his nose, sensing how your perfume delicately mixed with expelled pheromones, obtaining a small giggle from you.
You swung your leg over his waist, leaning your chest towards him, and stroked his wet hair.
"Thank you," you smiled with closed eyes, sighing. "It's just what I needed."
"I like hearing that," he said, pulling away from your neck to look into your eyes. You looked like a fallen angel with your smudged mascara, swollen lips, tired eyes, and blush spreading across your cheeks.
His gaze instinctively dropped to your neck, observing the love mark on your skin. Though in his mind, he still questioned if this was truly love.
Without delving too much into his thoughts, he gently pecked your lips.
"Pedri..." you sighed, coming down from the adrenaline rush. Sitting up, you supported yourself with your hands and looked at him, recalling internet articles and Elena's words.
"Already want to talk about that?" he asked, huddled up, absorbing the remaining sunlight.
"I'm going to shower," you said, rising from the ground, creating a space for anticipation, allowing him to process and reflect. You knew the house perfectly, having visited many times with the understanding that no one could see you and spend the entire day together.
But meaningful memories were scarce, and you clung to them, hoping that someday it could be more than the fear of being seen together, unable to go to a restaurant or travel together.
You entered the shower, letting the cold water make you reconsider your beliefs. You trusted that, for the first time, you had found something real, a gentleman who stood out in the world of ordinary men, wanting to keep you safe.
You also trusted that you would walk on nails and endure all the thorns of a rose just to be with him. But genuinely, love should be about facing painful situations to prove love for a person, or love should feel welcoming, a place where you would stay for eternity if it had to be so?
You analyzed it, the rain falling on you as you cleaned your body. You wouldn't stay with Pedri; he never felt like a place where you could unload all your baggage without fear.
After all, coming from past relationships, he was your sanctuary at first, stemming from more deficient and unstable experiences. You couldn't stop the solitary tear that escaped your eye.
Since the night you met, you should have realized that nothing good could come from something that was supposed to be just for a night. But you didn't want to listen.
You left the shower, unable to continue ruminating in your head without fainting in the attempt. The drops that weren't allowed to fall from your tear ducts were released by your hair.
You grabbed your clothes, still absorbed in your thoughts. When you finished dressing, you placed your hand on the doorknob. Behind it lay the definition of the future of this strange relationship, and the confrontation was something that terrified you.
You walked into the living room to find him seated, wrestling with his thoughts, head bowed, facing away. Approaching him, you crossed your arms in front of his neck and hugged him, taking in his freshly scented and the slight dampness of his hair. He looked at you wearily, unsure of what would happen, and you gave him a kiss on the cheek before sitting next to him on the gray sofa.
You took his hand with love; you couldn't deny that, despite everything, he had been the source of most of your joys in the last four months. You took a deep breath before letting it out and started speaking.
"Are you mine?" His hand tensed, and his brow furrowed. He didn't understand where such a sudden question came from.
"What?" He responded confused, almost pulling away from you.
"Are you mine or not?" You still hoped for a more certain answer.
"I don't understand where your question is coming from." His expression showed he had never really thought about something like that. At least, was there some kind of feeling for you in his heart? You wondered which person you had been with all this time.
"Just answer it." You let go of his hand; your voice carried a tone of desperation and anguish. You knew you wouldn't get anywhere, but you still needed to cling to the few hopes that remained.
"I don't understand what you mean by 'yours'; we never talked about..." He tried to make another excuse in front of your eyes. It felt as if he were treating you like a little girl, who would eventually leave the question unanswered once she got tired.
"I need to know where we stand! Do you want to be with me or not?" You no longer knew why you kept trying about something that wouldn't change. You stood up from the sofa, and he avoided looking at you.
"Why do you have to make it so complicated? We're just having fun." He shrugged his shoulders, shaking his head. That response could have been worse than a straightforward no.
"Having fun? Do you think I'm with you to have fun with how the media calls me a slut, Pedro?" You shook your head in disbelief, letting out a bitter, pained laugh. "Four months enduring your ambiguities while defending you in front of my friends, saying you needed time." Your voice faltered, recalling all the arguments you had faced, thinking that at some point, everything would change.
"I didn't think you felt that way." He detached himself from his actions, as if it were so simple. Still avoiding eye contact.
"You said you loved me! Did you ever feel genuine love for me?" Your heart tightened; all this couldn't be a big lie where you were the only one playing a game that was already resolved.
"I don't know." He whispered, unsure of how you would react to such an unsure yet determinant answer. Your eyes blurred with contained tears; you couldn't cry like this in front of him.
"You knew everything you were doing; you knew that I was yours, and you didn't care." You screamed, desperate for him to show some emotion, to show that something of everything you had experienced had a hint of reality.
"It wasn't like that." He replied in the same flat tone, this time looking at you and realizing the tears that were falling, while you were motionless, feeling the room spin around you, and your ears ringing again.
"It was exactly like that." You had been sincere from your first conversation, under that neon light on a private yacht. A party where you didn't want to be, he approached you for that simple reason; you were the only girl who hadn't looked at him.
And you had found someone whom you thought had the will and power to heal all your wounds. But you ended up dancing with shadows in glass, with something ephemeral that you thought could be eternal. While you ended up being one of the many prey in his history.
"I gave you everything, I told you about my past and how I needed someone to trust, and you ended up being like everyone else." You released a silent sob and headed towards the room, where you had left your backpack. You were supposed to spend a weekend together, and now everything was withered. Your feigned acts of believing that magic still existed were in vain.
"Where are you going?" You gasped, bumping into him in the door frame; he placed his hands on your shoulders, concerned.
"I called Elena; she'll come to pick me up." You hadn't even talked to your best friend when you sneaked away with Pedri at noon; she would do everything to stop you from leaving, and you preferred not to tell her. But she, without hesitation, as soon as you asked, was already on her way.
"We can try to fix it." You knew he was only offering the response your ears craved. But you weren't going to fall for his spells. This time, his method of still having your strings to manipulate you like a puppet wouldn't work.
"I won't be with someone who never cared about me." You walked to the door, lowering the latch, and turned around once more; he looked at you from a considerable distance. He wasn't going to try to stop you, and that was what hurt the most. "Good luck, Pedro."
You left the house, and the evening air enveloped you. You walked along the walkway made of rocks, each step feeling heavier than the last. Another relationship failing, another person disappointing and discarding you like a crumpled note, forgotten in the margins of a story that never reached its intended conclusion.
Your tears flowed freely down your cheeks now that you weren't facing him. You stood on the street, waiting for Elena to arrive. She had every right to tell you 'I told you so,' and she would be justified.
You saw her black car approaching from the end of the street, parking right in front of you. You hesitated for a moment to get in, embarrassed to ignore someone who only sought your happiness.
She rolled down the window, and your eyes locked inviting you in. Opening the door, she extended her arms, offering solace. Tears streamed down your face as you looked for refuge on her shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, Ele." You lifted your head, and she gently wiped away your tears. Shaking her head, she dismissed your apologies.
"I'll always be here by your side. You're the one who needs to learn, but I'll never leave you adrift, okay?" You pouted, and your tears continued to flow.
You both settled back into your seats, stealing glances at the house. A part of you lingered there, and a lump formed in your throat. You sensed that distancing yourself was the only thing that could save you from descending into delirium. Now, you must gather the fragments of your heart once more and rebuild it on your own.
Your eyes went directly to the hickey he had left. You wanted to rip that skin off, not wanting to have him in your memories in any way.
Leaning your head against the window, you wondered what could have been if fame hadn't been the haunting specter in your life. You guessed that you will never actually know.
274 notes · View notes
brighttears · 1 year
Note
hi! back again with another request, i hope that’s ok! if not then totally ignore this. For the request: could we get a jealous reader? Im always seeing Fics where Joel is jealous and would like to see that changed up! Maybe she sees Joel hanging around another woman more his age and she gets insecure, idk it’s totally up to you how it happens. if you do take this request then thank you so much, if it’s not something you’re interested in writing then that’s ok too and thank you for your fics!! <3
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Joel Miller x reader
No physical description except for having hair, leaning fem but no pronouns or explicit mentions, no use of y/n 
Warnings: age-gap, mentions of sex, drinking, Angst (happy ending), pet names (honey), you have a big fight :,(
Word Count: 1.6k
A/n: omg love this idea. Thank you for the request you’re so sweet and I’m happy to do them !! helps so much with writer's block plus I get to do cool stuff like this lol. This was challenging so I hope it doesn't disappoint :P
P.s. if any of yall’s name is Emily i apologize just replace it with the name of someone you hate lol
Even from all the way across the bar, you’re burning up, watching the way the woman in front of Joel twirls her hair and flashes her teeth when she laughs over enthusiastically at his jokes. Thankfully his back is to you so you can’t be tortured by whatever his expression—or wherever he’s looking—may be. 
Ever since you got to Jackson women have been crowding Joel like he’s the only man on the commune and it’s been driving you up the wall. You want to go over and give Joel a big wet kiss and tell her to fuck off, but you and him have never had a discussion about ‘us’, so you have no real right to claim him. Still, it burns, and that woman, Emily, as you’ve come to learn her name, as Joel’s number one fan, has such a punchable face. A matching burn of the whisky from your glass is welcomed down to your stomach.
When she leans forward, showing off the goods, you can’t stand it anymore, down the dregs of your drink and storm out of the Tipsy Bison. The icy breeze cools you down some but you’re in no way calm once you’re back at the house. Stomping up to your room—you and Joel’s room, you strip your jacket and immediately grab your gun to deep clean. Icey pain drips from your heart down into the crater of lava in your chest and it hisses in your ears.
Sitting at the head of the bed, you’re almost done with the fourth cleaning when Joel’s recognizable stomps sound with the creaking and slam of the front door. You continue to clean, not looking up when he comes in. 
“Hey,” he says breathily, innocently. 
“Hm. I’m surprised you even came home.” you reply, still not looking up. Still aflame, you keep a mostly even tone but Joel easily catches the pointy edges. 
He pauses, then finishes kicking off his boots to straighten up and turn to you, “An’ why’s that?”
“I mean I thought I wouldn't see you until tomorrow morning on your walk of shame from Emily’s house.” you keep your focus on the final wipe down of your gun.
“What?” 
“What? Can’t blame me, I saw her eyefucking you. Basically shaking her tits in your face, too. Didn’t stay long though, it was actually kind of fucking gross.” 
“Beg your fuckin’ pardon?”
“Oh, don’t act stupid.” you finally meet his gaze, “Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble. Go fuck whoever you want. I guess it’s none of my business. Would have been nice to know that that was the deal here before we started sharing an actual bed, though.” you go back to overpolishing the metal, trying to act nonchalant, but your chest is full of mud. 
“What makes you think I’m goin’ around fuckin’ other women?” 
“Well, now that you’ve got the pick of the litter, why settle for me?” you finally place your gun down loudly on the nightstand. 
Joel raises his voice in sternness, “What the fuck r’you talkin’ about?”  
You take a deep breath through your nose, refusing to let your anger go, but the icey, tight pain is tearing at your heart and you can’t stop it from piercing through your voice when you say, “I just—I just thought it was me, I thought it was me you wanted.”
“What—’course you’re—where’s all this comin’ from?” 
You stand to face him and scoff, “Please, you think I don’t see the way the women here have been looking at you? They drool all over you, and you just let them, you throw ‘em a smile.” you voice is teeming with attitude, “Never saying a word to me about it. What is it, are you ashamed of me? I have to be your little secret? I’m just some young—some young…” you stop yourself before you finish a sentence you know you’ll regret, no matter how much you want to stick him with it, but it’s too late.
Joel steps one foot towards you and shoves his finger out, glowering, “Good call not finishin’ that sentence.” he growls, “I don’t know who the fuck you’re talkin’ to though cause it sure as hell ain’t me.”
You pick your fire right back up, “I thought maybe I’d be good enough but there's things I don’t have, huh? Need a woman more your speed? Well, you’re free to let Emily fuck you better, just please don’t bring her back here, okay?” you end it with your voice drenched in sarcasm.
It’s Joel’s turn to scoff now, “What the fuck are you talkin’ about? I don’t give a shit about Emily! I’m not fuckin’ her! Wh—” Joel narrows his eyes, “You tryin’ to say I’m a cheater? Is that it? That's what you think a me?” 
“N–no,” you stutter, suddenly realizing that that is what you’re accusing him of. 
Near shouting, he continues, “You don’t trust me. That's what this is about.” 
“No, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” you move towards him but he steps back.
“How the hell else am I supposed’t take that?”
“I’m just scared.” the confession jumps out of you.
“Scared of what?” he shouts.
“Of you leaving me!” your voice breaks and you choke back the onset of a sob, but Joel loses no venom.
“You’re scared of me leaving? After all this time—after everything, you think I’m—I’d—I don’t want to leave you! Talkin’ to Emily, I was just tryin’ t’be fuckin’ polite, be,” he takes another step towards you, “social, that’s all! You think I can’t talk to women without tryna get in their pants? Is that really the kinda man you think I am? Should I stop talkin’ to Maria, too? Cause I’m such a piece a shit cheater I’m probably tryna get at her, too, huh? My own brother's wife? That’s what you think a me?” 
“No,” you nearly scream, hitting your hands to your head to grab at your hair, “that’s not what I mean, that’s not what I’m trying to say!”
“Then what are you trying to say?” He yells back.
Your chest is starting to heave, beginning to be overwhelmed with emotion, but you try to keep it under control, not wanting to break down in the middle of an argument. “I just hate seeing it! I hate seeing the women here fucking crawling all over you like cats in heat and you just fucking take it, like you want it, you want them, not me, now that I’m not the only option, you’ve got all these pretty women just waiting for you to knock on their fucking door, and I was just—just—”
“What, just some young pussy?” Joel snarls.
“No one that mattered! No one special! And all of it was empty, all the words, the sex, the time we shared, I was just a placeholder for a proper woman, cause I’m not good enough, was never good enough for you…” your voice shatters as the whirling in your head and heart overcomes you and you step back until the back of your knees hit the bed, then flump down and put your head in your hands, trying not to sob.
Instinctually, Joel comes to kneel before you, his anger beginning to melt away when his attention shifts to you in pain. He takes your wrists to uncover your face, saying nothing, only focusing your eyes and his, now gentle, as you continue to try to control your jumping breaths. After a few moments of you unsuccessfully calming yourself, Joel moves his hand to stroke your cheek, over the side of your face, into your hair. When your breathing has calmed some, he looks over your face and wipes away the few escaped tears. “I hate it when you cry but you look so pretty when you do.” he tells you, soft and quiet, pulling a small laugh out of you. Once your inhales and exhales are at an even pace, he speaks up again, with a soothing tone, “Okay. Now I’ve calmed down, n’ you’ve calmed down.” he takes a deep breath and you do with him, like you’ve learned to, before he continues, “I know all a that was just outta anger. N’ we’re just not at an understandin’ here… Honey I’m in love with you.” 
His words make you take a deep, post-cry shuddering breath. Remembering you have to say something back, you whisper, “I’m in love with you, too.”
After a few silent but full moments with Joel stealing glances at your lips, he asks, “Can I kiss you?”
You nod your head as you’re already leaning in as a response. Your lips essentially smash together, want igniting in both of you. You lean forward until he’s on the floor and you’re sitting on top of him, both hands holding his face while one of his clutches your hip and the other slides over your jaw and into your hair. Then Joel pushes you up and onto the bed, nosing into your neck from above you, sticking wet kisses all up and down it while your hands tangle in his hair. He slows and drags kisses back up to your mouth. Sounding drunk, Joel finds time between your mouths to say “Don’ want no one else.”
Between kisses you continue to converse, “So can I punch Emily in the face?”
“Mmm, I don't think Maria would like that very much. Why don’tcha just give me a big sloppy kiss next time she won't leave me th' fuck alone?”
“I can do that. Can we hold hands?”
“Yeah we can do that. Can I squeeze yer ass?”
“Only when someone’s looking. You can do it when they're not either but I would prefer if you did it while you know one of those alley cat’s watchin’.”
“Mhm. Every time. Let em’ all know.”
“You know, you’re gonna have a lot less friends once I scare all of them away.”
“Fuckin’ fine by me. I got everyone I need already.”
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Tbh I'm horny too and all I can think about if it Seb and MC are 7th years studying for NEWTs in the library/common room with all the other HLCs, MC trying to provoke Seb by giving him looks, purposefully reaching across the table into his space, dropping their quill and bending over, wearing that perfume that drives him crazy, ect, but Seb knows they need to study and pass their test so he resist temptation much to MC's disappointment though unknowingly they unleashed a beast that is being pent up and growing in anger for a couple more days until NEWTs are done.
I love this! I'm not sure if this was a prompt but it inspired me. Thank you 💜
Naughty Escapades and a Wily Temptress
Warnings: 18+, Teasing galore, idiots making a dumb deal, unruly teenagers who can't keep their hands to themselves, cunnilingus, p in v sex, unprotected sex, breeding kink, dirty talk, praise kink, semi public sex, there are probably more but I can't think of them, oh overuse of my favorite pet name which I'm sure you guys can guess by now Pairing: Sebastian x f!MC Word count: 2659 Thanks to @sallow-tales for help with the name of this fic! 😘
Three days before the start of their NEWTs, Sebastian, MC, and all their friends sat on the floor in a corner of the library, books and parchment spread out around them. They had spent every moment between classes here for the past two weeks, cramming in as much study time as they possibly could. Tensions were high amongst the group, every member aware their futures were hanging on the outcome of these tests. Sebastian was tense for a different reason, though. MC would not stop teasing him. All week she had been doing little things to rile him up, undoubtedly hoping he would give in to his desires and go back on their deal. It had been a spur of the moment idea after their first day of studying had ended with him pulling her away, pinning her up against a bookcase and kissing her neck, grinding himself against her thigh. After he came down from the high of his orgasm, his cock back in his pants, he looked her in the eyes, a pained look in his face. “We can’t do this again until these damn NEWTs are over with, Princess. We need to focus on studying while we’re here. Let’s make a deal, no more sex until we’ve both taken our final NEWT. I can’t believe I’m the one saying this but I think it’s a good idea. What do you say?” She had nodded and kissed him before walking back to gather her things. 
The teasing had started a few days later and just like today, it took every ounce of self restraint he possessed to resist her. More than once today he had found his hand automatically reaching out to slap her ass when she leaned forward on her knees to reach for notes from someone in their little circle. He had been able to stop himself in time, but he knew she wouldn't stop trying. 
He looked down at her head on his shoulder, trying to ignore the way she was purposefully blowing on his neck. This was the closest she had been to him in days and the smell of her perfume left his head spinning. Letting out a soft whimper as her breath hit him just right, a shiver running down his spine, he set his quill down. “Princess, don’t you think you should be studying something other than my freckles right now? If you need a break, go sit with the girls for a while.” She pulled away, pouting as she stood and weaved her way over to Imelda and Poppy, looking over her shoulder at him before hiking her skirt up over her knees, and dropping to the floor, sitting exactly the way she did when kneeling in front of him. Flashes of her lips around his cock, her pretty eyes staring up at him, played in his mind and he shifted around, adjusting himself. 
She’s going to be the death of me. 
An hour later she returned, picking up her books, bending over right in front of him giving him a perfect view of her breasts. Before he could help it a small groan left his lips and she smirked. As she sank to the floor, he reached for her waist pulling her into his lap. The little gasp she let out stoked the fire of resolve in him. He leaned in close, brushing her loose hair off her ear before pressing a small kiss to it. “You think it’s funny, teasing me like this, Princess? You think it’s going to get you what you want?” He gripped her jaw, turning her head to face him. “I assure you it won’t. Not yet.” He lifted her off him, roughly setting her down next to him once again. He took a deep breath, shaking his head to clear it of the already fading feeling of her body on his. He longed for her more than he could express, but he was determined to see this through. 
Okay, you can do this, Sebastian. It’s only another week. Seven days. Just seven more days. 
——————— 
The morning after his final NEWT was over, Sebastian sought her out like a heat-seeking missile, ready to explode. He found her by the edge of the lake with Poppy, Natty, and Imelda, splayed out in the grass, laughing as the sun danced on their faces. He wasted no time, getting her attention with a loud shout of her name, his lips curling into a slight snarl. He knew he probably looked terrifying, out of his mind, racing towards her, his clothes disheveled from running around the castle, but he didn’t care, he was desperate to have her. Dropping to his knees, he sank down between her legs, just barely resisting the urge to throw one over his shoulder right then and there, smiling as he caught a glimpse of her bare pussy, thanking Merlin he’d finally convinced her to stop wearing panties. “I think you owe me something, love, and I’m here to collect.” Around him the other girls gasped and giggled, and he looked up, smiling at them. “Hello, ladies, having a nice day are we?” Not waiting for an answer he leaned over MC and crushed his lips onto hers, groaning as she wrapped her legs around him and deepened their kiss, her hands tangling in his hair and grabbing at his shirt. When she finally released him, a smirk on her face, his resolve to hold out for privacy broke. “Fuck, Princess, I will take you right here in front of your friends if you don’t stop teasing me.” When her grip on his shirt didn't loosen he made a show of reaching for his pants, getting the top button undone before she stopped him. 
“Not here, Sebastian!” She pushed him off her, shaking her head as he roughly pulled her to her feet, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder before turning around and carrying her towards the castle. He felt her wave to her friends, chuckling as they made exaggerated ohs and small whistles, Imelda even shouting “Get it babe!” before they broke into loud laughter again. 
Oh, don't worry she’s going to.  
He carried her to the closest classroom, now empty for the rest of the term, setting her down on the teachers desk before he closed the door. “Get your skirt off, MC, unless you want me to rip it off you.” Standing by the door, he watched as she eagerly slid the fabric over her hips, shifting to push it past her butt, loving the sound as it finally fell in a heap to the floor. Letting out a soft groan, he slipped off his robe. “Spread your legs, Princess, touch yourself for me.” Feeling his heart race as she did, soft moans reaching him as she circled her clit, he forced himself to stay where he was, to enjoy the show she was putting on for him. His cock twitched endlessly as she stuck two fingers into her mouth, sloppily running her tongue over them before bringing them down to her core, slipping them into herself with a loud sigh, her eyes fluttering closed as she found the rhythm she wanted. Rubbing his palm over his clothed cock a few times, he closed the distance between them, quickly undoing the rest of his buttons, freeing his cock from its confines. One hand wrapping around himself, stroking slowly, the other hand gripped her jaw pulling her lips to his, greedily forcing them open to admit his tongue. 
When the dizziness from loss of oxygen forced him to break away, he gripped her wrist stilling her movements, gently pulling her fingers out of her core. Once again dropping to his knees in front of her, he took them into his mouth, sucking them clean before wrapping his arms around her legs, pulling her closer to the edge of the desk. Kissing at her thighs, he looked up at her. “Have you missed me, Princess? I sure as hell have missed you.” Flattening his tongue he lapped at her folds, groaning against her as her hands found their way into his hair and she tugged at the soft brown strands. 
“God, yes! I’ve missed you so much, Sebastian…oh that feels so good.”
He swirled his tongue around her clit, gently sucking at it as he pushed a finger into her, pumping his hand quickly. “Fuck, I want to make you cum on my tongue, baby, but we don’t have time for that right now. Someone is bound to hear the beautiful sounds you make for me.” She bucked her hips under him, her strong grip holding his head in place as her thighs closed around him. “Okay, I get the hint, a few more minutes of tasting your delicious pussy it is.” He chuckled as her legs spread open again, returning to his task with renewed enthusiasm. He slurped at her folds, moved his head every which way, used every tick he had to make the minutes count. Looking up at her as he caught his breath, admiring the beauty in the expressions he could get her to make, he heard shouting outside the classroom. They froze as the sound grew louder, accompanied by hurried footsteps, relaxing as whoever it was ran by, the sounds dissipating as they moved further away. The refreshed reality of their situation and realization they could be caught at any moment spurred Sebastian into action. “Fuck, baby that was close, we can’t wait any longer.” He stood up, giving her a quick kiss, sighing as she licked her juices off his lips, taking her hands and gently pulling her off the desk. “Turn around and bend over, I’m going to take you fast and hard, just the way you like.” Caressing the soft skin of her butt as she bent over, he lined up with her slit, quickly pushing into her in one swift motion. Thrusting into her, he groaned at her velvety softness, her walls already twitching around him as he set a quick pace, hands gripping her hips hard enough to leave bruises. As the sweat built on his forehead, their sounds of pleasure drowned out by the slaps of his thighs against hers, he studied her face. Her cheek pressed against the cool surface under her, mouth open letting her soft whimpers escape, her eyes shut tight in bliss. Reaching down he lifted her leg onto the desk, desperate to be deeper inside her, and he hit the deepest part of her, making her groan and clutch uselessly at the smooth wood surface of the desk. “Damn, you look so beautiful right now, MC. I love that you let me see you this way, powerless and falling apart around me. You never look so breathtaking to me, Princess. Okay, maybe when you use Ancient Magic, but that’s different. Then I’m the powerless one falling apart for you.” 
She giggled softly, “Good to know there’s equal opportunity for you in this relationship, Sebby.” He laughed loudly at her joke while increasing the power behind his thrusting, and they fell into a fit of laughter as the heavy wooden desk beneath her suddenly shifted, the leg grinding against the stone floor as it moved. 
“We’re gonna get caught if we stay here much longer, baby. Are you close?” He looked over his shoulder at the door as if expecting someone to walk through it at that exact moment. 
“Did you mean it, Sebastian, would you actually have done it?” 
He whipped his head around, his look of pleasure giving way to one of confusion. “Done what, love?” 
Her voice was soft as she shyly admitted what was on her mind and he had to slow his thrusts to be sure he heard her. “Would you really have…fucked me in front of my friends?” 
He chuckled, stepping back slightly, pulling her off the desk and up to him. Wrapping his arms around her, pressing her back into his chest, he brushed her hair off her neck, lips leaving wet kisses in his wake. “Yes, I would have. Would you have liked that, Princess? Think you could have gotten over the shock of it, forgotten your embarrassment once my cock was inside you?” Resuming his fast pace thrusting, he kissed her jaw as she threw her head back against his shoulder with a loud moan. “Answer me, Princess.” 
“Yes! Yes, I would have loved it! Fuck, I would have loved it so much!” She brought an arm up to wrap around his neck, fingers clutching at his hair. 
“Mmmhm, that’s my girl, my good girl.” Letting go of her hip he moved his hand down to rub slow circles against her clit. “You never did tell me if you were close to cumming, but it doesn’t matter now. I’m going to make you cum on my cock and then I’m going to fill you with my seed, and you’re going to go back out to your friends, giggling as they ask you about what I did to you. I want you to tell them. Tell them what a good slut you are for me. I want you to blush and stumble over your words as you admit you let me cum inside you and that you love the way it feels dripping out of you as they question you.” He felt her walls clench around him, her orgasm about rock through her. “Fuck, you really like that idea don’t you, Princess? You want all your friends to know how naughty you are…That’s it, cum for me, baby.” Panting in her ear, he fucked her through her orgasm, pressing kisses to every inch of her skin he could reach. Burying himself inside her, resting his head on her shoulder, he let out a deep guttural grunt as he reached his climax, ropes of his seed coating her walls as they gently fluttered around him a few final times. 
Sighing happily he pulled her body as close as he could, letting her relax against him. “Gods, you are incredible, baby. I love you.” Pulling out of her, spinning her around he peppered soft kisses over her face, making her giggle as she returned the sentiment. Bending down he picked up her skirt, shaking out the rumpled fabric, holding her steady as she stepped into it, and slowly pulled it up her legs. Fluffing up her hair, dislodging the flyaways stuck to her damp forehead, and tucking in her shirt, he gave her a deep kiss. Stepping back and tucking his cock back into his pants, he ran his eyes over her as she smiled innocently at him. “There, now you can’t even tell you just spent the last hour being a dirty little slut. Are you ready to get back to your friends, Princess? Ready to tell them all the things I did to you and how much you loved it? Honestly, I’ll be disappointed if they don’t give me nasty looks next time I see them.” Laughing, he took her hand, slowly opening the door, peeking out before pulling her into the corridor. Running through the castle, laughing at her little screams as he pretended to chase her, picking her up and spinning her around when he ‘caught’ her. As they burst through the doors that would lead them to the lake, he slung his arm around her neck, pulling her close. “I can’t believe we only have a little time left here. I’m going to spend every free moment we have left burying my cock in you, Princess. But for now, go spend time with your friends.” He kissed her cheek and gave her ass a small slap, smiling happily as he watched her head for her friends.
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esteljune · 8 months
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Memories of beach [P x reader] - short fic
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This one was requested by the very kind @writing-fanics. I'm sorry dear if I kept you waiting, I really hope you like it! TW: angst, blood mentions
Amidst the air saturated with ergo, countless grains of white sand sliced through the young face, painfully beautiful, yet unperturbed. In the black sky, swollen with clouds like a trail of stars, shone the promise of a safe haven.
Pinocchio trudged forward almost blindly, instinctively, guided by something far more human than his cold and immutable body would suggest. An unnatural wind swept the immense, deserted beach, chasing itself in spires and vortices of an unnatural blue.
The light of Gemini at his belt, a faint beacon in that chaotic swirl of vital energy.
Then, as the boy continued to advance, in the silence, the howling of the wind transformed into clearly human voices, and the ergo that had hitherto streaked the darkness above his head animated the sand and took shape.
At first, just a confused, distant, unrecognizable shape. However, as Pinocchio approached, those sketched and primitive figures began to resemble something. No, someone. He recognized that scene not so much for its details, but for what it was evoking in his heart.
A distant, alien life, yet at the same time so familiar that it ignited a small flame in his chest, the still vivid and lively memory of someone else. The more he walked, the faster and more urgent his steps became, even stumbling, seeing that life unfold before his eyes. He felt an unknown, ancient loneliness as he scrutinized those unrecognizable faces, yet indelibly imprinted on corners of his heart that he did not know he had.
That reflection of himself had been happy, had felt the comfort of sincere friendship, of a spontaneous and rebellious smile. That face, that voice calling his name... No, not his name. He had not shown mercy when their blades had met, he did not understand that dark and mechanical language, perhaps he was not born to do so.
The pendant hidden in the bottom of his pocket suddenly felt like a heavy weight. What had he done? How much of what he had done had really depended on his will?
He walked on, his mechanical heart sinking a little in his cold chest with each step, like his feet in the sand. The beach had returned to an unnatural, frightening darkness, then a light appeared again in the wind.
He recognized your voice first. That laugh that had alleviated more suffering than that stranger whose face he wore had wanted to admit. The long sleepless nights when your eyes and your words had tormented him. You had promised him something unheard of, something that still in a corner of his heart was eager to come to light. You had sworn your love to him.
"I... I don't think I'm good at these things, but I know I want you by my side. Forever." That nervous voice that was his voice had whispered in the wind. A small ring between fingers of sand that were already fading.
Pinocchio's fingers were so tightly clenched to his pocket that they tore the fabric. Against the metallic palm, the shape of that small ring burned as if it were incandescent. He extracted it with the delicacy with which one handles a relic. Dirty, rusty and bloody, just as that memory should be.
Suddenly, that pain that had gradually grown inside him with each step seemed almost unbearable. He had not shown mercy to you either. He had watched the light fade from your eyes with a distant, immobile face, yet his arms had moved instinctively, had supported your light, sweet, curiously familiar weight. He had not understood that look of tenderness and regret, he had not even registered it.
He had let your fingers run over his cold face, an incomprehensible last sentence veiled your lips. You almost seemed to be crying.
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myokk · 2 months
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20 q's for fic writers
tagged by @crushribbons love you Laney😙😙😙😙💓💓💓
How many works do you have on AO3? I am a humble baby writer so I only have three...so far
What's your total AO3 word count? 99,211...before I joined tumblr and fanart hell (affectionate) I was writing SO MUCH...I started in January bahahahahhahahahahahahah
What fandoms do you write for? Hogwarts Legacy, but in the future I'll probably do Tomione…beginning of death eaters super evil but sexy 1940s Tom Riddle making Hermione turn evil… (among others). Tbh (fanart-wise NOT writing) I also want to draw harvest moon…stardew valley…x files… I would love to attempt writing for P&P bc I have so many ideas, but I am too lazy to make sure they're historically accurate and it would drive me crazy if they arent so I'll just enjoy them hehe
Top five fics by kudos? I only have three published so far, but the most popular is my Ominis oneshot, legilimency. I have no idea how that one actually got readers...but I'm happy bc I really like it too and I reread it sometimes!! My main fic is actually doing a lot better than I expected too, bc when I started posting I was just shouting into the void and I wasn’t part of the community or anything🥹 the little excerpts I post here too, that go along with my writing, also do a lot better than I expected and it makes me so happy to read your comments💓
Do you respond to comments? yes!!!!! Comments/hashtags always make me SO HAPPY and these interactions are the fun of sharing these things with you all. I get swamped by notifications sometimes so I might respond super late but I always try to bc I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? my main fic...I have a horrible ending planned but I might chicken out at the end and make it happy. in my fanarts I can make them happy so that might be enough for me...and I’ll go with the evil ending muahahahahahaa
What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? the Imelda/Poppy fic. Honestly it's not popular but it holds SUCH A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART...it’s popular to me😤 I reread it a lot...my love letter to Imelda
Do you get hate on fics? I don't think so...If I do I'm out of the loop bahahahhahahahaha. Honestly I've had haters before on other platforms and it's not something that really bothers me bc if I don't personally know someone, I don't care what they think...and like Laney said...if they don't like something they should just make what they want to see instead lol
Do you write smut? yes😳
Craziest crossover? None I Am A Boring Girl
Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that I know of!!!!! But I also just started writing this year. I've had my art stolen sooooooo many times before though on IG and tiktok (not here yet that I know of…). If it's just copying my art I don't mind that much with these fanarts because that's how you learn and a copy will never look like the original but...
Have you ever had a fic translated? nope!!
Have you ever co-written a fic before? No but I'm collaborating with @versailles-black for fanart shenanigans bc our MCs are cousins🥹💓 plus the whole Leo/Bea thing with @the-ozzie …I’m actually considering writing a oneshot about the two of them so I think it counts!!
All time favorite ship I have two...Elizabeth/Mr Darcy have had me in a vicelike grip for my whole life...but so have Scully and Mulder...
What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I really really really want to write my Ominis longfic that's a continuation of my oneshot, but it's hard to find the time to write lately bc I've been so busy!!! like...even finding time to do these fanarts is a struggle these days. I still have hope I'll finish it though bc apart from ME wanting to read it there are a few others who are also looking forward to it!!!
What are your writing strengths? no idea🥲
Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I personally like it!!! But only if it's used correctly...I've seen Spanish in fics before where the person CLEARLY doesn't speak it and it drives me crazy, esp if the character is supposed to be Spanish-speaking. Or...when people add random phrases in with the rest English, bc as a bilingual person I feel like it doesn't really work like that lol. I added some Spanish to the Imelda oneshot I wrote and I like to read it when it's done naturally, and if anyone asks me for translation in the comments I’m happy to oblige🥰
First fandom you wrote in? Hogwarts Legacy is my first fandom ever bahahahhahahahahah
Favorite fic you've written? tbh I love all three that I've written so far!!!!!! I can't choose🥹🥹
Laney said there's no 20th question…I love you all😙😙😙
zerooo pressure tags for @kay9leo @writing-intheundercroft @heyitszev @noxxytocin and anyone else who thinks it would be fun to answer🥹💓😙💓😙
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spookykoolkat · 1 year
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the red j.m. | chapter three
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CHAPTER THREE: PROTECTON
series masterlist | main masterlist
previous chapter | next chapter
pairings: older!joel miller x plus sized!younger!reader
chapter summary: it's been three weeks since you decided to stay in jackson and you realized that your hatred and irritation caused by the man who let you live under his roof may be more than just that.
warnings: age gap (joel is 57, reader is turning 26), inappropriate thoughts, creepy joel if you squint, fluff/nicer joel, and a small breakthrough with joel, MDNI!
wc: 5k
na: HELLOOOOOO omg okay here is the third chapter of the red, my new passion project that i'm currently in love with. i have so many more one shots and ideas that i'm writing, including a request i hope to finish up before next week! i hope everyone is loving this series so far and i hope that you show ur love by reblogging, sharing you thoughts in a comment and liking :P i hope u luv this just as much as i do and hope y'all look forward to more chapters to come! (and oneshots and fics and stuff LOL) ps all love to my plus size girls i love u guys.
THREE WEEKS LATER
YOU
as the days went on, you found yourself falling into the routine of the world you live in now. you decided to stay, and it’s something you hadn’t second guessed either. part of it was nice, living somewhat normally, as normal as you could given the circumstances. It almost felt like a weight off of your shoulders. you could actually get rest most nights without the threat, some nights still being nerve wracking. 
it was your anxiety that kept you awake, your thoughts of depression and paranoia created a difficult defeat. It was hard. and you struggled, just not in front of anyone. your father wasn’t the best father, but one piece of advice you took from him was to never let anyone feel like they have to take care of you, always handle your issues alone because quote unquote, they’ll just throw it back in your face.
the deal was, you get a job while you take a few classes in order to take patrol routes, and the job was the local clothing store that did trades and fixer uppers. you didn’t know much about sewing or making clothes, you just remembered watching your mother sew holes back up after you skinned your knee trying to get away. 
ellie attended school, doing the best to get the education she needed before deciding what her role will be in this society. yours is being a merchant apparently, but you complied. it was money, at least whatever was comparable to money, and you needed it to get your own place. living with joel and ellie was fine, but you realized it was just you and joel most of the time. ellie managed to make her own space in the garage and joel let her, helped her even. he figured it’d be nice to have two different spaces for one another. 
he felt the same about you. but didn’t ever tell you of course. he figured you already had enough on your plate for him not to breathe down your neck until you leave. you saw it anyways though because joel could not help the way his face said more than he needed.
he was used to being alone, until he met tess, then he got used to having someone there and accommodated to living with another person. he hadn’t gotten used to you yet. in the kitchen wearing shorts and a long shirt as you made breakfast, for the three of you until joel would say that ellie was already gone. he would eat his plate quickly, saying a quick thank you and not saying any words as he does the dishes you just made. 
you would tell him you could wash them, that he didn’t have to, but he insisted you didn’t. not with his words of course, he’d just rush to do them before you could finish your plate. you didn’t know what to make of him yet.  
“i got your plate, you’re gonna be late for work,” he would say, taking your cup and plate to the sink to wash. he’d always be right though, you were going to be late on days you cooked in the mornings. but he just seemed to want to be out of your way and as far away as possible from you. you even asked tommy how to go about living with his brother. 
“best advice i can give you is to just do your own thing. he won’t pay no mind to you, like livin’ with a damn cat i tell ya,” he said playfully, but something in you made you believe it wholeheartedly. he truly was like a cat. quiet, reserved, does his own thing, and takes care of himself. you figured, how hard could it be? until actually living with him. now, you’re kind of bothered by the lack of interactions. you were here, you might as well get to know the people around you but he didn’t make it that simple. you didn’t either at first, so you’re patient. 
but then you got in your head. you don’t need to let anyone in, you aren’t here to make friends or share dark secrets. being here made you gain small hope, but it didn’t last once you started thinking again. there wasn’t a way for you to have people in your life and keep them safe at the same time. you realized that everything you had to fight for and protect, you failed. 
but you weren’t the only one still adjusting and battling themselves. joel put up a wall between him and everyone he’s ever interacted with. it was for his safety, and now ellie’s. 
sometimes he’d be surprised by you in the wide living room with a book in your hands after work. it wasn’t that rare you constantly met him in the living room after his shift was up, because by the time he was coming back home you were getting up for work. sometimes vice versa, and sometimes, very rarely, would you and joel be leaving the house at the same time. but still, after almost a month of being in joel’s presence there wasn’t more than 20 words exchanged each day. 
joel didn’t bother to get to know you, he didn’t ask you about anything and didn’t even ask you about your plans to stay or not. he just didn’t want you asking questions either. plus, he figured everything he knew about you was all that he needed to know. 
you would think joel would like to know who was living under his roof, but truth be told he hardly knows the people he calls neighbors. to him it wasn’t his priority to meet new people and indulge in normal life activities like watching a movie or going to the bar they hold in the town. he molded perfectly into the role he and others gave him, which was to protect and hunt. to do his part to contribute to the new making of jackson’s society. in joel’s mind, he wasn’t in jackson to make buddies and go on dates, and he wasn't prowling for anyone either. 
his mind was on survival, and calculating if every decision he makes will heighten the chances of him and ellie, now you, surviving. he wasn’t interested in the get togethers people invited him to, he couldn’t care for the annual small pot luck they have in jackson, all he cared about was making sure jackson stayed safe, that all three of you stayed safe.
so, he put off making friends and love, and focused on ellie. he didn’t need anyone else knowing him and his life anymore than they already do, and he didn’t need a stranger trying to pry his deepest and darkest secrets out of him. 
the thing is, you wanted to know him. even if you were still unsure of him, jackson, yourself─you could admit that he did his part in making you nervous, drawing you to something. you still had a dislike for him though. you couldn’t tell which feeling overpowered which.
jackson was bigger than you thought.. there were at least two or three subdivisions of houses, a school, a church, one bar, one clothing store, one hardware supply, and a small park that was really two swings and an aluminum slide. maria told you as she gave the tour that it took a while to build up, but with time came something amazing. something the QZ or the fireflies could never achieve, it was peaceful. everyone relied on each other, everyone trusted each other. except for three people—the three people who live under joel’s roof. that’s what the three of you bonded the most over, the fact that you all have trust issues. 
⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒
you noticed joel a lot more over the weeks. he was a grumpy man, a man who if he could, he’d get a newspaper with his coffee—straight black, and read outside on his patio as the sun rose. by himself, alone. how he wanted. and you understood of course, you know how it is to want your solitude. but, you also couldn’t help how eager you were to talk to him. surprised at every small good morning, or have a good day you get once and while from him. 
he was sharp and cold with most people, offering a hand to compensate, and helping those who need it. joel realized after a while it’s better to make acquaintances rather than enemies in such a tight knit community, a community that relies on the people within. he couldn’t break that cycle, so he was friendly with those who he got to know. 
you noticed how much stuff he would bring back on his patrolling days. a box full of female hygiene products, a box full of new clothes, or more ammo. you watched from the window as he looked around to see if anyone was looking, and would go to the shed he built that was in the backyard of the house. you wondered what he was doing to get all of these things, but you never brought it up to anyone. 
It wasn’t your business.
you didn’t bother to pry, and to be your usual curious self and ask him about it. you knew he’d shut the conversation down before it even started, and it wasn’t worth it to you. you did make a mental note to bring it up to him eventually. 
a small part of you liked him though. despite the mystery, the coldness, the selfishness, the rudeness, you actually liked joel because he reminded you of you. a small part would be an understatement. you always seemed to be looking for joel. whether it was downstairs, in ellie’s space, or in public. constantly wondering where he was, or if he was looking at you. whether you realized it now or not, his presence brought a certain comfort to you.
you volunteered in the kitchen serving dinner from time to time, and when you did you fought hard to not stare at the miller brothers walking in with ellie. but, ellie didn’t make it hard to acknowledge their presence and notice them.. joel would just nod in your direction, you’d give a small nod back and get back to making plates. you practically fought yourself to not glance over at him, just to make sure he was still sitting in his usual seat next to ellie. and when you lost, you’d look up to his seat just to see his eyes peering over his cup at you.
It was an odd dynamic that left you wanting more from him. you wanted to learn more about him when he had moments of vulnerability, which was only twice over the course of your stay.you only knew he was from austin and was a contractor before everything started. you wanted to pry more, to know him, to know what makes him smile and laugh.  and if you were going to learn about joel, it wasn't going to be through ellie or tommy, or even maria.
you wanted the accomplishment of getting to finally know joel all by yourself, it seemed like a challenge to you. everyone talked, people would ask you where you stayed here in jackson when a local notices that you’re a new face and would end up looking like they saw a ghost when the words, ‘i’m a friend of tommy’s, i’m stayin’ with his brother,’ came out of your mouth. he had a reputation obviously, but you didn’t know the extent. everyone knew joel miller and the little girl, and joel knew you’d get wind of the things people have said and feel about him. 
he just hoped that that’s all you got wind of. 
you were so confused at this new and sudden urge to be around someone all of the time, but it’s happening with joel even if you never act on it. you weren't going to force yourself around someone just because you wanted him near. 
you wanted him to be the one to break first. to talk to you first and ask about you, even act like you exist a little more than he did now. you needed him to feel this way about you, and more. you weren’t going to get hurt, and you weren’t going to let it happen by the commune’s biggest asshole. 
but then you would come back to reality. you realized joel miller had absolutely zero interest in you. not as a friend, not as a person━to you, he saw you as a temporary thing. and you would remember that the feeling of close proximity to joel and knowing who he was wasn’t going to make your life easier. It was a constant battle with yourself, fighting your vulnerability and settling for being the second hard ass in jackson. 
⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆��☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 13TH, 2024.
YOU
it was late at night when joel came home from his interchanging shifts with other people in jackson. you were humming to yourself  as you washed the pile of dishes that were stacked when joel walked in. with everyone trying to get settled, it was hectic. finding a new balance with being the new addition to the home, getting into a regular flow of things. so when you got home from work, you cleaned up as much as you could without moving things around even though you were desperate to. as long as you were here, this still wasn’t your house to mess with. 
you stayed in places here and there, a shelter in waco, texas when your parents traveled there for safety from the QZ, a stranger’s underground hideout the first two years of it, many more people’s homes and abandoned buildings and escaping from QZ’s around the states.but you never failed to tidy things up while you stayed, you couldn’t shake it. you respected your surroundings and were grateful for the people who did extend their hand to you, even if they hurt you and made you regret not killing them.
joel walked in with a hard face and an unhappy sigh, looking towards the open kitchen and seeing you in a long sleeve shirt that’s risen on one side where your waistband carries the old walkman, your hair in a lazy put together bun—a part of him couldn’t look away if he wanted to. still trying to get used to this. 
he had to be honest, he found it hard living in the same space as you. he noticed you getting a bit more hopeful these days, not looking as angry as he does every day, and talking more. not to him, but he watched from afar. always had an eye on you even when he wasn’t around. he made sure tommy looked after you, maria, he even made ellie make sure you were okay. making sure you weren’t completely out of your mind. not more than usual, at least. 
he had something for you. he didn’t know if it was true, if he could be this far gone that he couldn’t stand to be around you because he wanted to take care of you in ways you would’ve never thought of? he hated that you made him feel like he wanted to protect you. he also hated the fact that you could never make him hate you. 
you didn’t notice him of course, you continued to scrub and wash as he came up behind you and tapped you on the shoulder to tell you he was home, sending you to flinch and sigh. you removed your headphones and let them rest on your neck as you turn the knob of the sink. 
“fuck!,” you said, putting a wet hand to your forehead as you tried to breathe in, “why are you always doin’ that? asshole.” 
“watch your mouth,” he tried and you had to stifle a laugh as he plucked a beer can from the fridge and left the kitchen area to sit in the living room. it was always a little funny to see him irritated because of you, you couldn’t lie to yourself. 
“bite me.” you spit, putting your headphones back on and rolling your eyes. 
joel felt so wrong. your responses shouldn’t leave him wanting to hear more of your sharpness. he shouldn’t be curious as to what you sounded like when you laughed hard enough. he shouldn’t want to watch your every movement. 
you were lost, confused, trying to find your way and here he was watching you like a creep from his spot on the couch. he would’ve loved to turn on a tv right now, ignore his instincts and feelings and turn into whatever show was on. all he has now is a dull radio ellie traded with the neighbors for, and he decided to put that on instead. it was a bit rare to find music, good music even. 
by the time he found a soft 60s song, you were done and wiping up the area before drying your arms. you decided to grab a beer yourself, cringing at the dark bottle, and making your way to sit on the couch across from joel. he watched as you lifted the hem of your shirt to wrap around the cap of the bottle, twisting it off successfully. he couldn’t help but notice the exposed skin that was pressing into your black shorts. 
“i uh, never thanked you or tommy. for saving me, bringing me here. i’m just, it’s a lot to get used to. i still don’t know if i’ll stay,” you broke the silence and took a swig of the beer, downing it quickly. 
“don’t thank me, thank tommy.” he said coldly and looked at the burning wood in the fireplace against the wall. It was silent for a bit while joel’s eyes wandered from you to a nearby window, watching the snow fall.  you couldn’t help but think about it, and before you knew it the words were coming out of your mouth. 
“why did you want to leave me there?” you looked to him with the beer in your lap, sitting criss crossed on the couch and your fingertips tapping at the sweating beverage. he looked to you once and looked down and around, sighing. 
“it ain’t personal. tommy and maria, they don’t take people in like that. it shocked me, is all. i just didn’t trust ya,” he admitted and drank his beer, getting comfortable. 
“do you trust me now?” you asked and he kept his gaze on the floor. you didn’t expect a different response from him. 
you kind of sat there, stilled and quietly listening to the music that comes from the radio. he doesn’t watch you anymore, he just drinks his beer until he finishes and lays there with his forearm over his eyes. a part of it feels normal, like coming home from a long day at work and cracking open a beer, going to sleep after and repeat. 
“I’m trying, you know. trying to get my own place here, and work and make connections so I’ll be out of your hair.” you defended even though there was just silence. you felt bad, imposing on a man who clearly wants to be left alone. but he could be less of an asshole.
“I’m not tryna rush you out of here.” is all he says and you notice for the first time you’re actually having a conversation with joel miller. or the equivalent to a conversation. 
“It feels like you don’t want me here. I’d ask tommy and maria for a room but, they’re a married couple and she looks like she’s about to pop. feels wrong to invade their space like that.” you said and drank your coldish beer, not enjoying the foam it created. 
he sighs, sitting up from his slumped position and looking at you while your eyes are on the bottle in your lap. he didn’t speak immediately, so when his eyes trailed over you and your bare legs you could feel the heat from his gaze. It made you squirm a bit, your legs pressing together again as he makes your stomach flutter. you couldn’t help but look at the hand that grips his bottle. 
“It ain’t that either. you’re just,” he sighed again, half lying, rubbing the crease between his eyebrows, “you’re unpredictable, is all. don’t ever know what that mind of yours is thinking, if you’re thinkin’ of hurtin’ yourself or if this is all a trap still.”  he confesses and you form your lips into a straight line. 
you stay silent for a moment, before meeting his gaze. “I don’t want to hurt myself, joel. or you, or ellie. I have no reason to. I just, when you found me i was alone. and i like being alone, don’t get me wrong. but it gets… scary. depressing. I mean I’ve lost everyone, i’ve killed anyone i ever loved because of those fucking things. I had no one who cared if i was alive or dead anymore, and it just got to me.” 
“and i know everyone’s gone through the same thing nd more, it’s just,” you huffed and moved your eyes down to your bottle, “I’ve prided myself in being alone, that i don’t need anyone.I’ve shut everyone out and been so mean to everyone. but for what?” you asked rhetorically. 
you thought about it a lot. what was the point of trying to kill everyone before they killed you first? what life are you living if you aren’t trying to make the best of it? these were questions you asked yourself daily, thinking about how many people you’ve scared off because you felt they were too good for you. too kind, too caring, everything you wanted and needed you sabotaged because in your eyes, you’d rather get the blow over sooner than later. 
“your protection. and it works, it’s jus’  lonely.” he said, stealing the words from your mouth. 
“It’s lonely.” you repeat after him. 
for a moment, you felt yourself warming up to joel, understanding him more than you thought you would. solitude was something the two of you appreciated, but were tired of. having joel and ellie around made you feel less alone, like there were other people who understood how you felt. it’s why you liked talking to ellie so much, she reminds you of yourself when you were younger. she made you feel like maybe there was a chance to make things better for her, like joel wanted. you understood why he didn’t want to throw her in the world of being a protector at so young, she was just a kid. she deserved a chance to be just that. someone like that, someone who has fought and protected themselves and other people for so long, deserves a chance to be the ones being protected. 
“where were you when it happened?” you asked, a new song coming on the radio. you figured maybe now that there was conversation happening, you could try to squeeze your way into his mind even if it’s for thirty seconds.
“bailin’ my brother out of jail. you remember?” he asked. 
“yeah, i was like, playing with my dog. then it was like explosions and crashes and cars. it didn’t take my dad long to start boarding up the windows and doors. but yeah, i remember.” you said and he shook his head, wanting to say something but holding back. he paused, then spoke.
“I’m sorry about your family.” he said and you gave a tight smile, thanking him. 
“I’m sure they’d be proud of you. survivin’ this long. It ain’t for the weak.” he said and that you agree on. you would’ve never made it had you been softer, or allowed yourself to be scared. you couldn’t be though. the two of you sat in silence as the static poured through the song, comfortable, together. he broke the silence first. 
“I found some old cassette tapes in the house when we first got here, if you want them. ain’t got much use for em.” he said, standing up as your eyes followed him. you grew a smile, and he was watching you find joy in little things like old music. 
“yeah, yeah of course.” you said and set the half empty beer bottle on the coffee table, standing and following him to where the cassette tapes presumably are. he ends up leading you upstairs, hitting left at the corner where you turned right all of the time, your doors were down the hall, directly across from each other. 
“I stored em’ in case. I kept everything i found in here, never know when i’ll need it.” he said, and you smiled. he was actually being a softie right now, as soft as he’d get you supposed. 
you appreciated it. more than he knew because you didn’t know how often he’d get this gentle.to a lot of people, this was just an act of kindness. but joel miller is not kind, and you wondered why he was being so nice to you all of the sudden. even if he was being snappy and short with you, he was trusting you to be in his solitary area, at least that’s the way you saw it.
he looked disarmed even though you knew he had a gun pressed into his back, and he looked comfortable. at ease, like he wasn’t expecting impending doom for once.
“It’s called being a hoarder, joel.” he narrowed his eyes on you before going into his nightstand and taking out around five tapes. Donna Summer. Beastie Boys. The Fugees. Bob Dylan. Prince. 
“I love Prince.” you said with a small smile as you grabbed the tapes from him, looking through and inspecting them. you remembered your mother playing his 1999 album throughout the house when you were a small kid. It gave you a bit of nostalgia, and warmed your heart at the distant thought of your mother. It meant more to you than it meant to joel, and he could see it. joel was actually enjoying the fact that you appreciated this niche gesture for you. 
“thank you, joel. I think Queen and Etta James will be grateful for a break.” you joked and the corner of his mouth tugged softly into a resistant smile. still better than no smile. joel glanced at the clock and noticed the big hand hit one, remembering how tired he was all of the sudden. or maybe more so acknowledging the fact that this is the most you and he have talked in a bit. 
“you know you can ask me for anything, right? I mean, you know,” he struggled with the words but with your encouraging eyes, he had no problem continuing, “I’ll do what i can for the two of ya,” he said somewhat kindly, referring to ellie as well.
you wondered now what he truly thought of you. if he still saw you as a burden, a threat, or just someone he lives with. you also noticed he wasn’t too good at expressing his feelings, he wasn’t a visibly emotional person. maybe he really was just too desensitized to everything around him.
“I don’t want to be a bother, i’ve been okay.” you said as you held the tapes with grip. 
“you don’t bother me,” he confessed, “anything you need, a’right?” he said with sure eyes, needing confirmation back from you. now you really couldn’t get a read on him. this was what sucked the most to you. you didn’t want to say it, but he was so bipolar with you. with everyone you saw him interact with, he was just short tempered and selfish. it never changed, he was mean to everyone and anyone who was near. 
but with you, he just avoided you. and when he would come near, he was either angry or neutral. it was confusing to say the least, whenever the time came for the two of you to engage, it was always a surprise at which way the conversation led. It’s like you were able to get a read on him when he interacted with anyone else but yourself.
“yeah, anything.” you noticed you were more breathless than you intended to sound, so you cleared your throat, and averted his eyes.
you realized you stood in his room with a t-shirt as a dress basically, alone with the door shut. It made you nervous, and as your eyes examined the room just to fall on his bed, it made you wonder what it would feel like to be next to him as he slept. you bet it felt warm, cozy, safe. safe in his arms, held away from the world. but then you felt crazy. you don’t even know the guy and you’re thinking about sleeping with him? what happened to collectively hating joel miller?!
you didn’t notice the way he was looking at you until your eyes worked their way up to his, a small blush forming on your face as he basically caught you checking him out. but he didn’t look like he noticed, he seemed too dazed by you to notice you were even looking at him. 
“I should go to bed. thank you again for these, joel.” you smiled sleepily, breaking the small silence. his gaze went back to normal, you seemingly saw the darkness in his eyes fade as his eyes locked on yours again. he looked softer. 
“yeah, me too, and you’re welcome. I’ll see you in the mornin’,” he trailed off, you just nodded and awkwardly shifted out of the room, releasing a breath you were holding.  you finally felt like you could breathe again, like the weight of his gaze was suffocating you.
that night you fell asleep with your headphones on, listening to Protection by Donna Summer, and thinking of joel. 
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celestie0 · 4 months
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i've always wondered have you ever given the y/n in your fics a personality description? like everything about her just ties the whole story together yet the reader can actually, embody her in some way?? that's one of the things that makes your writing so enjoyable to read and i've always wondered if you see yourself in her when u write ;
IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BUT i hope u know what i mean 💔💔
love u loads btw you're like my comfort writer as we speak
GASP i have neverrr actually, i dont think i’ve formally sat down n really given any of my characters personality descriptions i just kinda have a vibe of them in my head haha but this has intrigued me 🤔 I KINDA WANNA MAKE EM NOW!!! (i hope this is what u mean by character descriptions btw hahah)
kickoff reader.
i think she is a little self conscious at times, easily affected by things going on in her life, definitely tries to bite off more than she can chew, and she’s an anxious avoidant until she can’t take it anymore and becomes overtly confrontational instead alskdjdh i think this can be seen in the way she confesses to gojo, in her interactions w kai, and then also her turning down the newsletter job before she realized it was actually a good opportunity, etc etc. when i write for her, i kinda wanna give the vibe of tired college student that has a lot going on in her head n in her heart, but she’s slowly starting to learn to live again and is looking forward to life after college (aka me all of my senior year loool) i think she has a pretty neutral personality overall :0
in holy matriphony reader.
omg i haven’t written much for ihm reader yet but i already ADORE her so so so much based on what i’ve got planned for the series, and i think i understand her the most of the oc’s i’ve made. she is someone that gets crazy tunnel vision, can only really focus on one thing at a time, often neglects her other responsibilities if it means getting The Main One done, she is hella jaded because of all the financial stress, work stress and caretaking stress which means she doesn’t have much of a filter anymore, she’s very cynical and pessimistic and easily irritated and prideful BUT…..deep down she’s a huge softie and is actually very self aware of her flaws n just really wants to get better but she just can’t find a moment to breathe…im gonna enjoy writing for her bc i think she’ll come off irrational and a bit over the top at times, but in those soft moments, she’ll be very down to earth :)
in another life reader.
aww i haven’t had too much written for ial reader yet, but in my head i picture her as a veeeery soft spoken, sweet natured woman in her older age (she’s engaged to nanami, who i imagine has mellowed her out in comparison to when she dated bad boy choso lol), idk i think she’s kind of basic 😭 not that that’s a bad thing at all, i kinda wanted that dynamic of crazy rock star lifestyle choso mixed w simple lifestyle reader (for when they meet again later in life). when she was younger, she was highly impressionable, often thought she was more mature than she actually was, n loves veeeerryy deeply, so much so to where old scars hurt even after years and years. i think she always tries to do the right thing, but bc of her conflicting emotions, she has the capacity to cause a lot of hurt
AHH idk this is just the vibe i get from them or try to encapsulate while i write them, and i also totally think readers can have diff interpretations of them than me and still be accurate about it (idk as the author i don’t feel like i even know everything ab my own stories sldkdjdh at times i feel some of my readers know more than me haha)
i think kickoff reader is the most confusing in my head, but i like it that way because i suppose she’s the youngest and she’s in college and it makes sense for her since she’s figuring herself out
i definitely do see myself in all of them!! i have certain attributes i share n some that i don’t. for example i don’t think i’m as brave as kickoff reader (to pursue passions or confess to a boy so brazenly or slap tf outta someone at a bar LOL) and i don’t think i’m as crass or no-filter as ihm reader for example, but i definitely relate to certain aspects like the tunnel vision, anxious avoidance, and stuff like that!! but i still try to make them their own characters i suppose, but it really depends on how i want their personalities to mesh w the love interest as well
GOSH THIS IS A LONG FUCKIN ANSWER MY BAD i was just so intrigued by this ask xD i’m soooo sososoossooo happy to be your comfort writer and that you enjoy my works 🥺💕you guys keep my passion alive n i’m always so grateful for you all <33 have a wonderful day/night!! 🧚‍♀️✨ilyy
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neteyamyawne · 1 year
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hey! i have a request for tsu’tey x na’vi reader, where he is hit with sex pollen on a hunt and realizes after. and the only thing he craves is reader, even though they are best friends. he caves after a couple hours of constant pain and they mate <3
A/n: this is my first ever fic and first ever NSFW fic so please go easy on my 🥹 thank you so much for requesting, i hope i did justice to your request ☺️🤍
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Love fest..
Pairing: tsu'tey x fem!Navi!reader
Summary: request
MINOR DNI 🔞
Warning: angst, sex pollen, p in v, masterbating, fingering (f receiving), stupid from lust, confessions? Daddy kink! Pet names etc
Word count: 1.4k, not proof read
Note : "word" - dialogue, word - thoughts , yawne - love/beloved
Read below the cut...
Never has the smell of Pandora been so intoxicating to tsu'tey, as he stumbled towards his pa'li…
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One misleading foot step, one uprooted root that's all it took as he fell into a strangely glowing bush,he got up annoyed at himself for not watching his steps, sticky yellow grain like spots stuck to his skin as he tried his best to pry them off, he swatted at his face , inhaling few of them as he walked forward, he felt his body warm up and a familiar kind of tightness growing in his loincloth, his head going numb every thought swirling in his mind, his own touch felt too hot, already heightened sense of smell and hearing were almost blaring, everything felt hot and cold at the same time, goosebumps running down his spine and body with the slightest of breeze, never had the smell of Pandora been so intoxicating to tsu'tey, as he stumbled towards his pa'li , getting on it was proving to be a different task, somehow saddling himself he let the creature make its way to the home tree
The communal area was bustling with life and laughter, as everyone talked about the spring to come, y/n sat with her group of friends happiness bubbling in her chest with seeing her clan in such joy, she drifted off in her thoughts about a certain warrior, he may be her best friend but that didn't stop her from looking at him in more than just a friendly way, she was brought out of it as one of the girls wolf whistled and her eyes trailed towards where her friends pointed stares lingered..
There.. staring right back at her, tsu'tey…. eyes solely fixated on her, pupils blown wide, swear beading on his forehead and chest, for all y/n cared she can jump on him and take him right then and there with no regret whatsoever as she stared for a few seconds before looking elsewhere as her brain no longer made sensible thoughts nor did it help as warmth pooled in her belly..
Even looking at her was becoming a torture, she's just my best friend, that's all- , but his mind reeled back to the explicit scenes of her in various positions made his already tight problem to worsen, he decided staying anywhere near her vicinity was unfavorable as he treaded towards his tent for more than one reason, one actually being to relieve himself from the tension.
A couple hours passed and however badly he tried to get himself off it just wasn't happening, he couldn't help himself but imagine you on his cock, bouncing up and down, taking him inn beautifully, his head rolled back as he tugged at his length to no avail, he decided it finally time to take matters in his own hands as he got up, cleaned himself and put on the best pieces of clothing he had as he made a beeline towards the only woman who buzzed around his mind
All my friends, except a few, were asked out by men for a dance while i sat back and watched them enjoy only if someone would walk up to me and ask me out for a dance, sighing i took another sip of the drink in my hand, the liquid leaving a warm hug down my throat as it settled in my stomach, i wasn't particularly enjoying myself here, but this was fun, right?
Too into her mind she didn't notice a figure walking up to her and her friends as he bent down speaking and successfully bringing y/n out of her day dreams only to be face to face with it
Tsu'tey stood in front of them as a smirk graced his sharp face, honey eyes light and pupils blown wide as he said "may i borrow y/n for a few minutes?" Her few friends that still sat with her were giggling as they eyed the warrior with intent not so innocent, y/n just ignored as she smiled back and stood up walking beside him as he took them to a secluded area in the forest
Forest sang with various howls and chirps coming now and then, tsu'tey stopped in the clearing taking the hands of the woman in front of him in his, love evident in his eyes with waves of lust still crashing inside him
" y- y/n, i don't know how or when this happened but something has changed, my love for you has changed" his words felt music to her ears but the last sentence made her come back to reality, " your love for me had changed? You don't love-" before she could even finish the sentence his lips crashed into hers as she stood their too stunned to react as he pulled back a few seconds later, her eyes were now just as blown away as his were, without saying another word she responded with her own kiss, her hands going up his neck, while his traveled down her waist and hips, his tongue swiping on her bottom lip for entrance as she was too happy to decline, his tongue darted in fighting hers for dominance but the fight didn't last long as he completely overpowered hers…
Sinking down on their knees without breaking the kiss, tsu'tey traveled his wet kisses from her mouth to cheek , to her neck and throat, a languid moan spilled out of her as he sucked at her pulse point on her neck, venturing downwards his trail of kisses stopped just above her chest , looking up at her through lidded eyes for permission , all she could do was nod hurriedly for him to continue his pace, with her permission giving he continued down, stopping to suck on the perked up nipple, trailing down his hands and untieing her loincloth with quick deft moves as he lazily stroked two fingers down the slit of her cunt, he grunts shifting down and spreading her wide as the pad of his thumb gently rubbed slow circles on her clit, kissing her lower abdomen, he, just as gently, slid one of his finger into her sopping hole, string of mewls and moans sang out of her vocal cords, her body reacting on its own to his actions, a few pumps inn and he swiftly add another digit making her groan from the delicious stretch as he scissors her through and through while still kissing her on the sweet spots and continued his assualt on her clit, another few thrust of his fingers and circles on her clit, she came in no time, as he helped her ride down her high, he undid his own loincloth and quickly lining up against her, with a quick look of aproval from her , he tugged at his length and pushed into her folds, moans and sighs filled the air between them , as he finally sunk down to the hilt with a sweet moan falling from her mouth as they both throw their head back in ecstasy, mind turned to mush, he slowly started moving setting a slow pace as he placed his head in her neck inhaling her sweet scent as he snapped his hips into her,the pace turning faster and faster as he held her to his chest, her nails digging into the skin of his back leaving bloody crecents behind, he groaned has he felt his cock twitch inside her and as her gummy walls clamped him down from inside, with the little sense left in him, he bent down towards her ear as he whispered "s'good for me, taking daddy in so well"
Shivers ran down her spine as she couldn't hold on any longer "I'm gonna come, daddy- please ahh" her mind fogging over as he fucked her dumb, his pace brutal as he rutted into her, kissing the skin beneath her ear he raspped out "come with yawne, come with daddy"
She screamed as she reached her edge, tumbling down as tsu'tey hissed and groaned as he came inside her, hanging his head in her neck with her legs wrapped around his waist, he didn't pull out, filling her up to the brim, as they both got down from their high, he kissed the side of her neck and face as he smiled down at her, " this was way better than i ever imagined" she gasped out, he chuckled darkly, pulling out of her as she whined at the loss of fullness, " well babygirl I'm not finished with you just yet.." giving her one of his signature smirk that he only reserved for her……..
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© neteyamyawne 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬
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A/n: this is my first ever fic, please let me know if there are mistakes or if i should improve on something, I'm all open for suggestions, no hate and thank you 🫶🏼🤗☺️ I'm making a taglist so if you wanna be in the taglist please comment on the pinned posts on my acc, or through asks and navigation 🧭☺️💙
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Tags 🏷️ : @fanboyluvr @callmeoncette @lu-the-ghost-reader @brisbriskett @saltedcoffeescotch @ducks118 @itscheybaby @jackiehollanderr @zoetrope1997 @yeosxxx @persefolli
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im-poe-dameron · 1 year
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CELESTIAL SERENITIES
➔CLONE WARS ARC #03: UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN
a/n: so one year later and i'm finally back writing for this fic. only this time i actually have quite a lot of time to finish it and work consistently on it. to anyone who still finds this fic interesting, thank you for sticking around. i hope you enjoy what's to come. this is pretty much the final part to the clone wars arc, but i have an interlude planned. so that will come next. for now enjoy an angst filled chapter!
summary: in the final moments of your farewell, you both finally admit the truth.
word count: 7.4k+
pairing: obi-wan kenobi x f!reader
warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, angst so much angst, fluff, mentions of death, injury, soft sex, tad bit of body worship, p in v sex, cussing, goodbyes.
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“Look after Obi-Wan. He’ll need you now more than ever.”
Darkness felt unnerving when you didn’t know where you were. Whatever surrounded you felt safe—as if you could sink into it—yet something was off. You didn’t know this place, didn’t know why you were here. However, the voice that continued to speak to you calmed the panic in your veins; it was familiar to you—whoever he was. Shifting, you tried to turn to the left but something held you back. No matter how much you struggled against whatever kept you in place, you still couldn’t move.
“Hello?” you called out, your heart rate fluctuating the longer you remained here.
Wherever here was.
“It’s been a long time youngling.”
You stiffened, eyes darting around in the darkness until you could visibly see a small outline of light making the shape of a person. But this wasn’t just any simple person—this was someone who you didn’t believe it possible to see again. Qui-Gon Jinn stepped closer, a smile on his face as he regarded you with a look you’d seen before. One he gave to you when you managed to drag his padawan into trouble. The sight brought a sting of tears to your eyes; a memory flashing in your mind as you recalled the times when you’d been blissfully happy.
“Hi,” you whispered.
His hand reached out, gripping yours and pulling you to your feet—the capability to move suddenly back. “My you’ve grown.”
“The last time I saw you I was only twenty.” You smiled, following him as he began to walk forward. “Actually the last time I saw you, you and Obi-Wan were heading to…Naboo.”
The topic of his death only came up once before when Obi-Wan had made a trip back to your home world, utterly devastated as he shared the news of his master’s fate. That had been your last night together—the last time you saw him—and in a way it came naturally. As if the both of you had to part ways in order to find yourselves amidst the galaxy’s hardships and downfalls. You were both lost in a way until you found one another again.
Qui-Gon nodded, glancing at you for a brief moment. “I know what you are to him.”
“You do?”
“I’ve always known.”
A flash of trepidation filled your body. “Then why did you let it go on for so long?”
“Obi-Wan needed to find his own way back to the Force. Unlike what people believe, it is not the masters who tell them what to do. We simply guide them the best way we know how.” He stopped, turning to face you.
“I thought Jedi aren’t supposed to form attachments with people they love,” you whispered.
“They aren’t. Attachment leads to necessity which then leads to possession and a Jedi must only rely on themselves, but it seems in his case…he is unable to survive without you.”
He knew the entire time he resided on Corellia with the both of you. He knew the moment Obi-Wan met you that you’d remain in his life until he breathed his final breath. You wanted to ask him how he found out, ask him all the questions you never got to, but you felt a sharp pain shoot down your body—forcing you down to one knee. The tightening in your chest stunted your breathing for a moment and you gasped to fight against it. Qui-Gon merely helped you back up, his hands resting on your shoulders.
“I can’t—” you gasped, eyes screwing shut as darkness enveloped you once more.
“Do you care for him?”
The answer should have been simple. A quick yes or no, but just as they had before—the words lodged themselves in your throat, because they were too simple. Saying you loved him wasn’t good enough. Three words couldn’t possibly define the way you were unable to breathe without him. It wouldn’t be able to put into perspective how your body physically ached when you were apart; how you spent every day thinking about him and wondering if he did the same.
Love was complicated, but the word was too simple to describe a lifetime of heartbreak. All leading to one final decision.
Whether or not you’d remain with him in the end.
“Yes,” you breathed, tears falling down your cheeks. “I love him.”
“Then protect him,” he replied. “He will need you.”
“What if I can’t?”
“You have more strength than you know. Don’t forget that.”
You watched as he slowly began to fade back into the darkness, his lips turning up into a small smile. One last goodbye before you continued on a journey you might not make it back from. A final farewell in the hopes that he’d continue to watch over you in every way possible.
You weren’t a Jedi, you didn’t possess the power to look into the Force, but you had this—a small moment in a place beyond death. Beyond life itself. So, you smiled back, tears still falling as you were encased in the cold hands of death, awaiting your fate.
The echo of your name filled your head, pain seeping back into your body as a flash of light overtook your senses. Gasping, you attempted to sit up, but every visceral agonizing moment hit you like a starship going into hyperspace and you were leaning over the side of the bed. Coughing, you saw a small splatter of red land on the floor as someone’s voice continued to call your name. Only it wasn’t your true name—no this was the one he solely reserved for you.
“Astra?” he asked, panic practically dripping from his very being.
You groaned in response, clutching at your side as he slowly turned you back into the softness of a medical bay bed. The armor you wore was piled in the corner of the room, your blaster atop it all, and instead you were draped in beige robes. They weren’t yours you knew that for a fact. The clothes you wore beneath your armor were black, but then his scent wafted up to your nose—burning through your senses and reminding you of where you were.
Fluttering your eyes open, your vision came in watery as tears streamed down your face, but the sight of him was enough. You could finally breathe after so long being suffocated down in the darkness—your home standing beside you.
“Obi-Wan,” you murmured, feeling his hand squeeze yours as he sat on the edge of the bed.
The worry in his expression was evident, his eyes clouded with a pain you’d seen him wear before. The night his master died. Obi-Wan never handled grief well even though he liked to appear as strong as he possibly could be. Always the epitome of perfection among the Jedi. Only you saw the weariness in his face, the anguish lacing his tone as he spoke your name one more time. He couldn’t believe you were alive and that alone gave him some time to finally rest; to remind himself that while he was a Jedi there were far more important things in life.
“You were dead,” he said softly, brushing your hair back from your sweat covered forehead. “Your heart stopped.”
That would explain the darkness.
“I’m sorry.”
He smiled, the newer fresh lines in his face now showing slightly. “You don’t have to apologize for being dead dewdrop.”
“I should if it made you this worried,” you rasped, wincing when the pain returned to your side.
“They gave you a bacta shot, but until we get back to Coruscant there isn’t much they can do here.” He helped you sit up slowly, watching as you bit back a cry of pain. “I told Anakin he should have left you to me.”
“Can you blame him?” Grasping his hand, you held it in your lap. “He thought I was trying to kill you, Obi-Wan. I would have done the same thing.”
“You still died—”
“And came back.” You cupped his face gently, feeling his beard scratched the skin of your hands. “I’m right here Obi-Wan,” you breathed, forehead pressing against his.
“I thought…I thought I lost you.”
Pain twined around his soul so prominently that there wasn’t a moment you could not see it. How it affected every aspect of his being, his movements and words. For the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to truly feel the fear he kept hidden away and it was brutal. Jedi don’t fear anything. That fact became more of a rule than anything else. Yet in the end it left them vulnerable to the pain—broke them even further because they did whatever it took to push down that fear. Watching your heart give up brought that fear back; shoved it down his throat until he couldn’t ignore it anymore.
Pain was a part of a Jedi’s life—this you knew.
“You didn’t,” you breathed, leaning heavily against him. Your body felt worn down, which wasn’t unusual given the current circumstances of your predicament.
Dying and coming back to life. That thought alone left your body feeling cold—the icy sensations of death still running through your veins. Qui-Gon’s words continued to echo in your mind. A reminder of what your life would amount to once you returned. Protecting the person you loved and as you looked at him—the glossy look of unshed tears in his eyes—you realized just how right he’d been. Obi-Wan needed you. More than you knew.
“Where’s Anakin now?”
His eyebrows furrowed. “I sent him to watch over Senator Amidala.”
“Hm.” You brought his hand into your lap, tracing over the cuts and scrapes he acquired on Geonosis. “He’s in love with her, you know.”
Obi-Wan’s familiar sigh made you smile. “I know.”
“I saw the way they were on the battlefield. He would have died for her.” Not unlike how you felt about him—how you hoped he felt about you.
“He’s too young to know what love really is.”
You snorted, eyes dragging back to him. “Look who’s talking Kenobi.”
“That was…different.” He fought against the urge to smile, his lips twitching slightly at the memories that flooded both your minds. “We were different.”
“No we weren’t Obi-Wan. You just like to pretend you were a perfect padawan. When in reality Qui-Gon sighed twice as much as you do now when talking about Anakin.”
He relented, unable to fight against the smile any longer as he pressed his lips to your temple. This. Moments like this were what you both fought for yesterday—a chance to be at ease with one another again. Just as you once did before. This wouldn’t last. He knew that as well as you, but stolen time is what you built the basis of your relationship on. It became what you both feared, what you both needed to survive. You were each standing on either side of the blade, trying to meet in the middle without injury.
Thus was the brutality of love.
“I saw him again,” you murmured. If you closed your eyes you’d be able to picture his face—a man stuck in time and yet still present.
Obi-Wan hummed in response, head leaning against yours. “Who did you see?”
“Qui-Gon.”
That was enough to render a response from him. Pulling back he regarded you with a look of incredulity—as if your words weren’t even said in the first place. You couldn’t blame him for that. If you heard someone who possessed no connection to the Force whatsoever, claim that they saw the Force ghost of a Jedi Master, you’d think they were lying. Either that or insane. But you couldn’t lie to him anymore; refused to tell him anything but the truth, because your duty to the Republic nearly cost both your lives. That was something you could not forgive nor forget.
“I know– I sound– Well I sound ridiculous.” You felt the weight of Qui-Gon’s message weigh on your shoulders—your body curing inward with it. “I swear it was him.”
“How?” And there it was. The reason why you loved him. Obi-Wan didn’t question your sanity, didn’t claim you were lying, he simply believed. He put faith in you the same way he would the Force, because if there was anyone in his life he trusted…it was you.
It would always be you.
So you told him everything, sparing no details. You explained about the feelings you harbored when you woke up in that place; the fear that you were already beyond anyone’s help. Even going so far as to tell him Qui-Gon’s message and that…he knew about the relationship you two held. You told him all of this for one reason alone. Obi-Wan would be the only one to believe you; to truly trust your word as if it were his own.
Just as the pain was, you too were twined around his soul—so tight that pulling away now felt like agony.
“So you really did die,” he whispered, glancing down at your joined hands. “I knew it happened, but knowing you ended up somewhere.”
“I wasn’t entirely afraid,” you said in the hopes of reassuring him. “Qui-Gon was there and I can’t explain why, but I felt like…like everything was okay.”
“He guided you back.”
Obi-Wan glanced at you, the pain seeping to the far recesses of his mind once more. You’d see it again—you knew that now—but for now he could relish in the chance of seeing you alive. Qui-Gon guided you back to his life to protect him. Except the difference was, you were both protecting each other from the painful reality that awaited you. 
The war on Geonosis was only the beginning of something even larger than you and him—simply a piece of a puzzle that had yet to be formed. He would be called away—just as you would—to fight and once more goodbye would be simply another thing you had to endure.
An inevitable ending to your half finished story.
“He said you needed me, but I don’t think that’s true,” you said softly. “I need you Obi-Wan. I always have.”
“Dewdrop.” He gripped your chin with two fingers, turning you to face him. “You have no idea just how much I need you. It’s not possible to put into words.”
“Then don't.”
Reaching up, you twisted your fingers into his hair and pulled him down to you. His lips slotting over yours with ease—fitting together perfectly once more. He inhaled sharply, hand cupping your face to tilt your head slightly as he licked softly against your bottom lip. Kissing him was akin to going outside and breathing fresh air for the first time in months. It was as if you finally found the other half of you that hid in the crevices of your mind—too far to reach. You wanted to kiss him all the time, whenever you possibly could.
Opening your mouth, you pushed back with enough fervor, causing a shiver to wrack his body—the wet warmth of his tongue against yours bringing back the ache you so desperately yearned for. While the other night was full of passion—borderline feral need—this was soft, tender enough to twist your heart. He didn’t kiss you to have you, because you were already his. In every way a person could be.
Tugging on him, you moaned into his mouth, tightly gripping his hair to keep his lips against yours. In return he bit down on your bottom lip, sucking it slowly into his mouth. He tasted like anguish doused in a sweetness that could only come from him. And you took it. You took until he had nothing left to give; drowning in the way he sounded, smelled, and even in the way he looked. His hair was longer than it ever had been and you couldn’t deny that it became a part of the appeal.
“I can’t,” he whispered, pulling away slightly, his lips still brushing against yours that were shiny with his spit. “You’re injured.”
You smiled, eyes in a dreamy haze of lust and love. “We both know that’s not the reason I’ll scream.”
“Dewdrop,” he growled, yanking your lips back to his with no more trepidation.
Having sex right now probably wasn’t the best option, given your recent walk with death, but you couldn’t stop the thrill of want that spread quickly down your spine. You wanted him despite the injury that made it hard to move. Breathing him in, you felt pleasure build up in your stomach as he moaned into your mouth—the sound filled with his own want.
“Tell me we’ll have more than this,” he whispered against your lips.
You knew where the words—the plea—was coming from. The doubt filled his mind the second he saw you lying there on the brink of death. The same inkling that you harbored when you left him that night in your small home; doubt that you’d have more than just this. That life would steal away the remainder of your time together. You wanted to promise him that you’d have more than you could have wished for. That eventually…you’d be able to be happy together.
But you promised yourself you wouldn’t lie to him again.
“I don’t know if we’ll have more,” you said, pressing yourself as close to him as possible in your current position. “But I can hope that one day we’ll get the time we should have gotten now.”
You could see that the words helped him slightly as a small smile tugged on his lips. Time never seemed to be in your favor, but right now you’d steal back what time so rudely took in the first place. Neither of you were needed at the moment. Eventually you’d have to be brought in to discuss your next mission; as would Obi-Wan. Except you refused to focus on that when you finally had him wrapped around you—the ache in your chest finally dissipating after so many years.
“I want you Obi-Wan,” you breathed, gripping onto the front of his robes.
He sighed, his eyebrows pulling tight as if fighting the urge to act on what his body craved. “You’re in pain.”
“So are you.”
The way his lips twitched kept you from letting him go entirely. He needed this; to feel you beneath him, begging for him. It would return the control he thought he lost the second your heart stopped beating. It would remind him that you were still there and not a figment of his cruel imagination. The prospect of the moment being ruined is what caused a shift in both of you.
Which is why he kissed you.
His pained grunt was wet against your mouth, your hand dipping into his robes in search of his warm skin. You needed to feel him, any part you could reach to satiate the growing emptiness in your body. Something about your touch lit him up from the inside, turned his body molten as he fought against the urge to take you quick and rough. He was still aware of how you barely shifted, his hands strategically shifting away from your injury.
“Tell me what you want,” he murmured, his forehead pressing against yours, hand grasping onto your thigh tightly.
You understood where he was coming from. Why he was so slow in touching you, and even then it was gentle—barely a brush against your skin. He didn’t want to inflict pain on you; he never had. Which is why you took his hands in your own, guiding them along your ribs until he cupped you through his robes, his thumbs instinctively going to your peaked nipples.
“Just touch me,” you breathed, lips brushing across his. “Touch me how you want.”
Leaning forward, he captured your lips in a searing kiss, tongue pressing against yours with a soft moan. If there’s one thing you knew about him, he would never tire of kissing you. Although you knew that you felt the exact same way. There were times that you wished you had met him differently. That he wasn’t a Jedi, but rather a man who was making his way through the galaxy.
If things were different then perhaps you would have been able to savor the time you had together. Rather than living in fleeting moments and broken promises.
“Please.” You dug your hands into his robes, attempting to pull at them, not wanting to wait any longer.
Except Obi-Wan had an insurmountable amount of patience. “I know,” he whispered, his hands reaching for the tie at the middle of the robe.
He pulled at it, watching with bated breath as it fell around your shoulders, exposing the expanse of your skin. The softness of it. Sighing softly, he dragged his lips down to your collarbone, pressing kisses wherever he could reach and nipping at the places he knew would draw out reactions from you. Biting into a spot along your neck, he grinned in satisfaction when you moaned, your hand digging into this hair.
“Don’t tease me Obi-Wan,” you said, unable to hide the smile in your words. “We don’t have much time.”
The reality of your situation seemed to click in his brain, his hands no longer light and steady—as if he had all the time in the world. Because that wasn’t possible. You weren’t given that luxury; rather you were forced to hide in what you could steal. So he finally gave in. His hands slid along your bare skin, lips finding yours again with a passion that stole your breath from your lungs.
You gasped, tugging on his hair to keep him from moving, as he shifted on the small bed. Dragging you over his lap, he allowed his hands the freedom to roam along your body, gripping at whatever he could reach. The robe was split open around you, draping down your thighs and obscuring what was happening from even the empty room. You wanted to lay naked with him—touch every little piece of his skin, trace all his scars you had yet to see. But there would have to be time for that later.
“Maker,” he breathed, his eyes drinking in the sight of you. Even with a bandage going around you, he still remained captured by your beauty. Awestruck by the view of you smiling down at him, wrapped in his robe. “You’re perfect.”
Smiling, you tilted his chin up to press another kiss to his swollen lips. “You flatter me Obi-Wan.”
Heat curled low in your stomach, licking softly at your body like a flame that had yet to be stoked.
He gripped your ass, sliding you forward until your cunt was pressed to the prominent bulge in his robes. “I’m merely telling you the truth dewdrop.”
“Oh—” You tugged at the fabric he wore, wanting it off, and he seemed to understand you without needing words. Releasing you, he peeled off the robes that blocked your hands from touching his chest.
Although only half of him remained visible, you took what you could get. He was here, touching you like you were the most valuable thing in the galaxy, and that was enough. It would always be enough.
Kissing his shoulder, you felt his hand creep up your inner thigh. He sighed softly when you widened your legs, giving him all the space he needed to touch you where you wanted him most. To feel how you practically dripped for him. A ragged noise tore from his chest when his fingers finally dipped into your slick, shock filling his body at the realization that he did this to you. He wasn’t sure there’d ever be a time when he wasn’t rendered speechless from it.
“Fuck,” you whined, grinding down against his fingers as they spread you open, gathering the slick at your entrance and circling it around your clit.
“Always so wet for me,” he panted, as if you were the one bringing him pleasure.
“Always for you.” The words were a sigh against his cheek, pleasure slowly creeping up your spine with each swipe of his fingers.
His body shivered, fingers sliding into your cunt in order to drag out a moan that he felt vibrate through his whole body. He wanted to listen to you fall apart for him over and over again. Wanted to stop time from dragging you away from him again to fight a battle that shouldn’t happen. Yet that wasn’t his choice to make. He was but a soldier for the Jedi Order to wield. And you were a player they couldn’t afford to let go of.
No, you weren’t going anywhere any time soon. Neither was he.
So he relished in the way your body writhed against him. Your eyes shut and mouth open, allowing all manner of sounds to break free. The echo of his fingers rapidly pumping into you made something hot burn in his body. A sensation he wanted to chase.
“I’m gonna—” A sharp intake of breath cut off your words as his fingers curved, finding where he’d drag you over the edge.
“Let go for me dewdrop,” he murmured, practically begging to see the one sight that had been burned in his mind.
Your hips canted forward, nails scratching along his chest as you sought the delicious heat that continued to build. His name was a reverent prayer on your tongue. Each word eliciting a response from him that drew you closer. As if you were two halves of a whole that had finally found one another again. Two puzzle pieces fitting back into place, picking up right where you left off.
“Obi-Wan,” you breathed, your lips sliding against his. “I love you.”
He was sure his heart stopped beating, your words sinking deep enough to heal whatever wound remained from the last time you left. All those years ago. Obi-Wan let out a shuddered breath, his eyes stinging as he watched your head tip back, your walls fluttering around his fingers. So he did the only thing he could do at that moment. He kissed you. Hard enough to finally push you the rest of the way, until you cried into his mouth—your body arching into his touch.
“Fuck.” He slipped his fingers into his mouth, moaning at the taste of you spreading on his tongue. Meanwhile you went for the top of his pants, pulling him free and forcing a pained grunt to escape. “I-I’m afraid I won’t last long—”
You shook your head, lining him up with your entrance. “I don’t care,” you sighed.
The sound he let out was like an addiction to your ears. His head fell back, hands gripping at your hips as you took him in one thrust. Just the feel of him stretching you made your head spin—the slight sting of his cock against your walls was something you wanted to keep. For when you were forced to part ways again.
Grasping onto his shoulders, you set a pace that would get you there again. It wouldn’t take you long at all; not with every emotion that ran rampant in your body. A mixture of love, of fear and pain, all wreaking havoc on your very being. You wanted to ask him if he felt the same, or if this didn’t mean as much as let on. But then he started talking, his eyes filled with an emotion you could now discern amongst the rest.
“It’s always been you,” he rasped, guiding your hips and trying his best to thrust into you messily, your slick coating his upper thighs. “Since the moment I saw you beneath that dewdrop tree.”
His cock struck where you needed him most, causing your toes to curl. “Ah fuck—maker—”
“You’re the one.” He cupped your cheeks in his hands, dragging your lips back to his. “I love you my beautiful dewdrop.”
You weren’t sure if it was his words, or the searing heat of his kiss, or all of that combined, but you quickly fell over the edge again. The broken sob that ripped from your throat being swallowed by him, his tongue sliding along yours. It rushed through you, rendering you incoherent and sending bliss right through your very core. Hot tears spilled down your cheeks, your emotions getting the better of you. But in that moment you welcomed them.
They were the truth that you hid from him. The feelings you could no longer hold in.
“Cum for me my love,” you breathed, cupping his cheeks to watch his eyes roll back, a stuttered moan falling from his lips as he spilled into you. 
The warmth of his cum filling you sent pleasurable sparks up your spine and you sunk into it. Willed for it to continue rather than be sentenced to whatever came next. He seemed to feel the exact same way. His arms wrapped around your bare waist, dragging you closer as he leaned back against the cold wall behind him, sighing softly at the feel of your naked chest pressed to his. Eventually this would end, life would be set back in motion, and whatever relationship you had would have to be locked back up in your hearts.
But for now…you were free to feel whatever you wanted. To pretend that you would be able to walk out there hand in hand and face this battle together.
“You know sometimes I like to imagine that when I met you…you weren’t a Jedi.” His hand caressed your back, as if to tell you he wanted to hear more. So you continued. “We’d have met the same way, beneath a dewdrop tree. You would have called me whatever name you wanted. And we’d…” Tears slipped down your cheeks. “We’d have gotten married, lived on Corellia, possibly had a home together.”
His lips pressed to your temple, the wet feel of his tears falling against your skin. “Me too,” he whispered, his heart aching at the pain that enveloped him like a cold hug.
“We can still leave. Find a place to live and have that.”
He smiled. “Where would we go?”
The entire galaxy was about to enter a war, which meant that nowhere was safe for you to hide. Nowhere would be left alone—leaving you to fight alongside one another, yet remain planets apart.
Lifting your head, you saw his blue eyes shine with tears as he considered the same fate as you. Oh how unlucky were the two of you. Destined to fall in love, yet forced to live apart. Until time finally fell on your side.
“Promise me,” you breathed, wiping his tears. “That you’ll find me. No matter where we are. You’ll find me, like I’ll find you.”
He nodded, pressing a kiss to your palm. “Always.”
Drawing the robes back over your shoulders, you pressed yourself close to him again. Enjoying the feel of his softened cock filling you, his lips pressing against yours regularly—hands sliding along your back. Neither of you were ready to leave the safe haven of this room. Too caught up in the knowledge that this would come to an end once you did. Which is why you remained like this. Simply enjoying each other’s company—the closeness you might not get again.
He pressed kisses to every part of you he could reach, whispering how much he loved you, how he’d do everything in his power to get back to you. And you replied in kind. Telling him things that you had only dreamed of. You exposed the emotions you had kept locked up, and he welcomed them with open arms. Promising to cherish them for as long as he was alive.
A knock on the door stirred you out of your warmth, shattering the fantasy you two had created in this small space. Obi-Wan sighed, his head leaning against the wall as disdain filled his eyes. He didn’t want to don the Jedi title again; would much rather remain here with you. But that was no longer possible.
“Yes?” he called out, refusing to let you move from where you were on his lap.
Bail’s voice echoed through the door. “They’re asking for you. Both of you.”
Obi-Wan nodded. “We’re on our way.”
“I don’t want to leave,” you said when he pulled away, tucking himself back into his pants and glancing at you longingly as you laid back down.
“I can tell them you’re not awake.”
“I don’t want you to go either.”
He smiled, but it never quite reached his eyes. Rather it turned them sad and you found you hated that more than seeing him cry. “We have to do our duties to the Republic.”
Something severed in your heart, a sensation so sharp and biting it nearly made you flinch.
“I’ve been doing my duty for far longer than I should have. You don’t know the things I’ve done Obi-Wan. What they claimed was for the good of the Republic.” You could remember the horrors you went through, the pain you inflicted on people who didn’t deserve it. You weren’t doing good. You were simply acting as their pawn who had no other choice.
“I don’t care what you’ve done dewdrop.” He pressed his forehead to yours, leaning over you. “I love you no matter what.”
“You should care,” you whispered, anger building up in your chest. “Because they’ll make me do it again.”
“They—”
A louder bang against the door cut him off.
“Bail I said—”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t stall for you anymore. They’re insistent.”
Obi-Wan’s eyes shut, his heavy exhale washing across your cheeks. Before he could respond, you pushed him back into his standing position, getting up to gather your armor. Both of you knew what would happen if you didn’t go out there. The Republic's best soldiers holed up together in a room doing who knows what. You knew that alone was grounds enough to start up the conversation of what you meant to each other.
Neither of you wanted that to happen. Not when the galaxy was on the verge of being torn apart.
“Just—” You took in a breath, strapping the beskar to your body. “Don’t break our promise Obi-Wan. No matter what.”
He kissed you. Hard. Shoving every ounce of emotion he had into this small act, and effectively causing you to melt into his arms. Your hands dug into his hair as your eyes fluttered shut. You wouldn’t know when you’d get this again. A small moment away from the demands of reality. So you took what you had and ran with it. Kissing him back, you pulled him close enough to meld his very soul to yours. Until you had something of him to keep with you.
“I won’t break it,” he gasped, ripping himself away from you as the doors slid open.
Bail regarded your haphazard appearances with a small grin, but you saw the regret in his eyes. “I’m sorry my friend. I wish I could give you two more time.”
Obi-Wan merely smiled, patting him on the shoulder. “You gave us what you could. Thank you.”
You watched as Bail left—no doubt to tell them you were both on your way—before turning to Obi-Wan. “He knows?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t tell me you told him.”
He fixed the left side of your armor for you, making sure it was in the right place. “He is rather perceptive.”
You knew he was lying by the way his eyes never met yours. Yet you couldn’t find it in yourself to worry about something so small and insignificant. Especially given that you were about to be assigned somewhere not even the Jedi Order could find you. Smiling, you took his hand in yours, thumb running along his knuckles as you walked down the brightly lit hallway. If this was all you’d get, then you would squeeze as much as you could out of every second.
At least enough to satiate the coming loneliness that would plague you soon.
Sighing, he glanced at you one more time, taking in the features he’d miss most—attempting to burn them into his mind. “Shall we?”
You nodded reluctantly. “Yes.”
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The chair you were sitting in was mildly uncomfortable. Enough so to keep you awake amidst the chaos that ensued around you. Obi-Wan was placed in his usual spot by Master Yoda, the battle plans spread out on the holotable, each one slightly different from the last. You lost count after the third one—focusing instead on the ache that began to spread in your side. Apparently being stabbed with a lightsaber left residual pain even bacta couldn’t fix.
“I’ll be sure to make contact with the Republic. From there I’ll begin to contact my allies; people I know who would be willing to fight with us,” Bail said, his shoulders hunched slightly forward.
The battle on Geonosis had taken a toll on all of you—slowly revealing a darker side to the Galaxy none of you knew was there.
“Will you be sending out agents?” Obi-Wan asked, his eyes flickering towards you so quick only you’d be able to notice it.
He nodded. “Who we have will be the first ones sent. They can contact allies in ways we can’t. Not to mention survey what the Separatists are planning.”
Whatever breath remained in your lungs was punched out, your situation now another battle plan on the table. You weren’t going to remain on Coruscant, or even on Alderaan. You were going who knows where to complete a mission that wasn’t a part of your fight. And you would do it without question. As you had done before.
If Obi-Wan was intent on fighting—on protecting the galaxy—you would be right there with him.
“As far as I know,” you began, shifting on the chair until you felt relief on your side. “My story still stands with Count Dooku. Jango Fett was the only one to realize.”
“And he’s dead,” Bail added.
You knew he would disagree the second you insinuated the prospect of going back to that hell hole. He wouldn’t let you walk right back into the open arms of danger. A place where he couldn’t follow this time—where he couldn’t save you. Sure enough, Obi-Wan shook his head, his eyes narrowing in your direction. Others may have seen it as a warning, but you could see the truth as easily as reading a book. He was asking you to stop; to let him take care of this for you. Because that’s all he could do.
“He might be dead, but they saw us take you. There wouldn’t be a way to show you weren’t a part of us all along,” Obi-Wan said, his hands clasped together on the table. “I suggest you go with Bail. Give the Jedi Order time to try and search Dooku out.”
“No offense Master Kenobi, but if the Order couldn’t find him before, what makes you think you’d be so great at finding him now?”
“He once was one of us.”
You shrugged. “Not anymore.”
“Right Obi-Wan is,” Yoda interjected for the first time. For a moment you forgot that he was sitting there, watching you and Obi-Wan attempt to argue your sides. “Take care of it, the Order will.”
“But—” Bail’s hand gripping your knee painfully beneath the table cut off your words. You winced slightly, clearing your throat and accepted what was bound to happen. “Of course. My apologies.”
“We’ll be reaching Coruscant soon, but I fear finding allies can not wait.” Obi-Wan leaned back in the chair, his eyes meeting yours once more. Only this time he didn’t look away. “Where is it you said you would venture?”
Bail flicked through his holopad. “Whoever is a part of the Republic, but I have people scattered through the Outer Rim.”
He nodded. “There’s no time to spare. The longer Dooku is on the run, the more we may risk the chance of losing. Master Yoda and I will go to the Jedi Council. I recommend you seek out your people.”
“Of course,” Bail responded, standing abruptly from his chair before turning to you. “You’ll be accompanying me. I suggest you say you’re…goodbyes.”
Master Yoda followed him out, the conversation seeming to continue even as the doors shut. And suddenly there you were again. Sitting in silence, alone with Obi-Wan. You tried to catch your breath as your mind processed everything that was said; the plans that had been made. Finding allies and asking them to join the Republic on the side of this war wouldn’t take months. No, it was a job that would leave you gone for years.
This was it. The last moment you’d get with him in who knows how long. Yet you couldn’t figure out what to say.
“Dewdrop—”
“I’m sorry,” you said softly, tears filling your eyes.
Obi-Wan was next to you in three quick strides, crouching beside you, hands cupping your face. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“But that’s the thing…I do.” One tear slid down your cheek and that was it. You could no longer hold it in—you broke, a sob clawing its way up the back of your throat. “I’m sorry for leaving that night. I should have stayed. Taken you up on your offer to run away together.”
He shook his head, his lips pressing to your forehead. “You made the right choice.”
You scoffed. “Then why does it hurt so much?”
“Choosing the right choice isn’t guaranteed to be the easy one.” His thumbs wiped the tears away. “Oftentimes it’s the hardest decision we have to make.”
“Maker you sound like a Jedi Master alright.”
He smiled, his forehead pressing to yours. “I suppose it’s a good thing I am one.”
A broken laugh filled the room, lighting up his heart in a way he would miss desperately. “Anakin’s lucky to have you in his corner.”
You stood, letting him gather you in his arms, willing time to stand still for a few minutes more. At least until you had to walk out that door, leaving him behind as you continued what you were meant for. You remember telling him when you were both younger that you wished you had a soulmate. Someone who was so connected to you, they were forever a part of your very being.
Funny how he’d always been that for you. The man tied to your very soul.
“I’m in your corner too,” he whispered, his arms tightening around you. “Whenever you need me dewdrop. I’ll find you. Just as I promised.”
You didn’t have words left to say to him, because what more could be said? What did you two have left but this? So, you tangled your hands in his hair, pulled him close and pressed your lips to his in a bruising kiss that said it all for you. You tasted the salt from the tears he shed, the pain he endured. And you took it. You gathered it in your hands, held it close, and promised to keep it safe. Forever.
He inhaled sharply, his hands grasping at whatever part of you he could find—whether or not it hurt he didn’t give a shit. He just had to feel you. Licking gently into your mouth, he smiled softly at your moan, willing his mind to sear that single sound in his memory. He’d hear it again. That he was sure of. But for now—this would have to do.
“Until we meet again?” you whispered against his lips.
Obi-Wan let out a shaky breath. “Yes,” he vowed, his hands reluctantly letting you go as you stepped away. “Until we meet again my beautiful dewdrop.”
You smiled but the light never reached your eyes. Letting his hand go, you turned back to the door. You felt like you were tearing yourself in half again, enduring a pain you never wanted to go back to. But you knew if you turned around, if you looked him in the eyes, you wouldn’t walk out of this room. You’d stay here with him.
So you took the step and headed out into the hallway, the tears falling down your face freely now. By the time you reached where Bail was you were certain that the very last part of your heart had severed itself free. Leaving you shattered all over again.
Following Bail onto his own ship you watched him set the coordinates for Alderaan, detaching the ship entirely. And for the briefest of moments you watched the ship Obi-Wan remained on grow smaller in the window. Until eventually you could no longer make out its shape, just another distant speck in the galaxy.
“I’ll find you,” you breathed, shutting your eyes the second the ship took off into hyperspace. “I promise.”
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my-castles-crumbling · 2 months
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hi cas <3
cw/tws for medical stuff, complex family relationships, discussion of death
so, for context, im a regulus black kinnie (itll make sense, give me a sec aha). ive got a difficult relationship with most of my family, but most especially my mother and older sister. my sister is a lot like our family's sirius (except if he still had walburga's narcissism, cruelty and manipulation), and she really doesnt get along with either of our parents. my mother is... a difficult woman, in that she likes to victimise herself in every situation, shes homophobic/transphobic/all the phobics, shes also very narcissistic, and likes to make uncomfortable comments without bothering to be nice about it. all in all, i try not to be around her much. im also supposed to be moving out soon, and planned to minimise contact as much as possible once i do.
to the point: my mother was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. my father (hes kind of a neutral party in the family dynamics, btw) was the one talking to me about it, since she's in hospital at the moment. he said they caught it early enough where a bit of chemo over the next few months should get rid of it and she'll be okay, but 'cancer' is a scary as fuck word. he also then told me that this isnt her first time with it — she had a different type of cancer around 20 years ago.
honestly, i feel like my brain is battling itself about how i should feel. on the one hand, ive been looking forward to not having to be around her now for years, and i hold very little love for her at this point. why should i care? she'll be fine at the end of it anyway. but shes still my mum, yknow? and i feel awful having these thoughts about how badly ive always thought of her and how much ive wanted for so long to get away from her and how it almost feels like this is some sort of sick fucking joke from the universe about how i should be careful what i wish for or something.
this whole situation keeps making me think about regulus in best friends brother(? i think thats the right fic) or p much any modern au where walburga dies so tbh ill probably end up writing a fic about it to cope, but still i just... i guess i needed to tell someone? my father asked me to keep it to myself for now so that it wasnt spread around where we live (its a small area; everyone knows everyone).
and the bit with my sister - as i said, she doesnt get along with our parents. i dont talk to her much anymore either because she seemed to inherit a lot of our mothers worst traits, but im afraid that if we do talk about this then she'll have some awful thing to say about it. she makes some really dark 'jokes' sometimes about suicide and death and such, and im nervous that she'll say something about how she hopes it kills her (again, my sister fucking sick, and has zero empathy), because shes made similar jokes about other stuff in the past. i also dont think she'd understand that im still afraid for our mother even after everything shes done, and i hate the way my sister turns on me and rips the piss out of me when she doesnt like what i do.
it all kind of circles back to how im supposed to feel, i guess. part of me wants to not care and brush it off, whatever, but theres still part of me dying for my mothers love and approval and is terrified of losing her, even with the low possibility.
sorry this got so long, and for how heavy it is. i hope youre doing well cas, and thank you for all you do for us <3
Hi hon!
My god, you ARE a reg kinnie.
Here's the thing- there is not a RIGHT way to feel about those things. You have a complex relationship with your mom, so of course you'll have complex feelings about the situation. You don't need to feel guilty for feeling any certain way, because there's no right or wring way to process this. You're allowed to feel scared and neutral and confused and ambivalent. That's okay!
Your feelings aren't a betrayal to anyone, and you have a right to them. You also have a right to any action you choose to take. Remember to do what feels right for YOU, because YOU are important.
I'm here if you ever need to talk <3
Naming you reg kin anon.
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