#i hope there aren't any typos

[androideql]

Fic requests are open

Starting today, I'm accepting fanfiction requests for Yu-Gi-Oh (original series only) and NU: carnival. Just send me an ask or reply to this post with a prompt/ship/theme/trope, and I'll see it done (as long as it's within reason.) Keep in mind that depending on how many requests I get, it could take a while for me to finish yours in particular.

These are open to everyone. Mutuals have priority. There is no time limit for these, which means you can send me your requests starting today, although I'm likely to close them around October. Also, asking for fic now doesn't mean you can't ask for art later so don't let that deter you.

More info below (warning: I'm long-winded.)

Short version: I have very few boundaries.

Long version:

What I will write

There are no hard, clear rules. I will write basically for nearly any pairing or character. If there's anything I don't feel I can pull off, I will let you know.

Keep in mind that I write for Yu-Gi-Oh as a sub watcher and manga reader. I have no idea what even happens in the English dub. On the other hand, I have nearly everything unlocked in Nu:ca.

Nearly all types of content are OK. Don't be afraid to ask as I'm chill with most stuff. Yes, this means even NSFW is OK. Most kinks are OK. Dark fic is OK. MCD is OK. Don't worry about that. I don't hate any characters or ships either. Again, I will tell you if I'm uncomfortable with your request or if I think I won't be able to do it well. Let's just be respectful of each other's tastes and boundaries, together.

What I won't do due to time constraints/lack of skill/discomfort:

Anything with your OC,

any other fandom,

anything that requires extensive research,

straight or sapphic sex scenes,

pure fluff,

crackfic or cringe comedy,

anything just hateful.

Three more important considerations:

I don't serve terf/swerfs.

This is a proship safe space.

If I see you've been defending AI generated content, you don't get to ask me to write for you.

What to expect when I'm done writing it

The fic will most likely be somewhere around 2,000 and 4,000 words, depending on the prompt and my enthusiasm for it. It might be way more than that too, but don't count on it.

I don't expect you to reblog, comment on, or even like/kudos the fic if you don't want to. If you'd like to keep the request away from Tumblr (that is, you'd prefer me to not post it here) or if you'd rather I don't say it was you who requested it, you have to let me know.

The fic WILL be posted to AO3, where it can be sent to you as a gift if you're comfortable with it and have an account. However, if your request is a little too out there for my usual brand, I will mostly likely publish it anonymously.

That's all. If you have any questions, my asks seem to be working again. You can also reply to this post or send me DMs.

[iztea]

Something about my drawing feels off , i only got into digital drawing few weeks ago and I'm stuck at the same point and lost .. any advice?

mmm okay first of all this is really good- first impressions-wise, the proportions and anatomy look very solid so there are no major glaring issues so to speak

if you were to ask me, what i think this artwork needs is that sort of 'volume' or depth that most beginner digital artoworks lack. You can achieve this sort of volume in two ways depending on the style you are going for: either by improving the lineart, or by treating the lines just as part of the sketch and painting over them for a more.. ''painterly/rendered'' look if you want to keep the lineart in, what i suggest is adding some "line weight" so that the artwork doesn't look so flat. What i mean by this is to thicken the lines where body parts would naturally overlap (like the neck and shoulder, the nostrils area, the corners of the mouth as well as the tip of the lips etc) and where shadows would normally be for the illusion of volume. After that, i'd also add more shadows and color variation in the colouring layer so that the skin looks more lively and again, for that volume. You can do it with some dark blue or orange on a multiply or an overlay layer, just experiment a bit with colors and blending modes. If you want a more messy/painterly look (which is more down my alley or in line with my artstyle), what i'd personally do is i'd create a new layer on top of everything and just paint over the lines with broader strokes and a darker color in an attempt to add some volume to the shapes and to make the artwork look more cohesive and less "digital" because at the moment, i can tell that it is made up of a Lineart layer, then a Colouring Layer below, that very religiously follows the lineart layer and then maybe a layer on top of that for the other colors and the hair. This is a very common digital art process and a good one to keep in mind but a little secret i can give out that i've noticed in 80% of the artists who have this sort of drawing process is that they will always, always merge everything in one layer at the end and adjust things as they go. They will not keep the layers separated and just never revisit them in the process, despite what it may look like. There will always be something that needs fixing and they will fix it as they go so i suggest doing the same and being a bit more "freeform" with your layers

Anywayss, besides that, I'd also introduce some color variation like in the previous method. As a general tip, try to move the color slider around and don't just shade with a darker variation of the base color. I like how the hair is painted and the shine and everything, it looks very good and everything is pretty much set in place, i'd just render it even more, make it More voluminous. It's just missing a little pop a color: i'd add some blueish gray hues in the brown hair and for the purple hair i'd make it more rich by adding some deep dark blue hues and some faint yellow highlights (bc purple and yellow are complementary colors blabla) As for the shape, think of the hair as chunks of volume that reflect light and that are also affected by gravity.. or as spaghetti if u like flat hair like me bsjsjd That's all i could think of; Again, it's very good and promising considering you started just a few weeks ago, so keep going at it! I hope it was at least somewhat helpful and that i wasn't being too technical with the wording (and that it made sense)

[bisexualbuck]

THE BEST OF STAR TREK: IMDB'S TOP RATED - TNG EDITION

(description in alt)

[wellhalesbells]

top 9 books

tagged by @rosieposiepuddingnpie - thank you and curse you, this is my least favorite/favorite thing to do!

The Starless Sea, Erin Morgenstern (a book about the love of books and story-telling, another great example of this is Cloud Cuckoo Land, by Anthony Doerr but this edges it out just a little in my all time faves. Also consider this a stand-in for Erin Morgenstern's other gem: The Night Circus.)

The Secret History, by Donna Tartt (I always waffle between the dark academia vibes of this or the snowy Amsterdam/dry Las Vegas heat of The Goldfinch - they're both absolute perfection and have gay undertones so they bounce back and forth depending on the day.)

Middlesex, by Jeffrey Eugenides (you know how people use 'sweeping tale' to describe certain books? That's this one. It just whisks you away. I know everything there is to know about the Stephanides clan and I'm a better person for it.)

The Bedlam Stacks, by Natasha Pulley (Honestly, also consider this a stand-in for every Natasha Pulley book there is. Sometimes my favorite is The Half Life of Valery K, sometimes it's The Watchmaker of Filigree Street series, sometimes it's The Kingdoms; it's really whose yearning I'm vibing with the most that day: Valery and Shenkov? Thaniel and Mori? Merrick and Raphael? Joe and Kite? It varies.)

The Stand, by Stephen King (I also really want to put Holly in that spot, I just finished it and I haven't loved a Stephen King book like that since The Stand - the only reason I didn't is because Holly is, at least for now, the last book in a series that is a spin-off of a series and every other book in those series don't hit the level of Holly, at all.)

Anxious People, by Fredrik Backman (this can also act as a stand-in for A Man Called Ove as well since I love them both for the exact same reason - they believe in the best in people. They make you feel better about humanity in general.)

The House in the Cerulean Sea, by TJ Klune (I will also point out that I have yet to read a TJ Klune book I haven't loved and that is not an insignificant amount now. This one is an older queer love story with the added bonus of found family. It's magical and heart-full and kind)

Project Hail Mary, by Andy Weir (Also a big lover of The Martian but this has something extra special for me - the alien was unique and I cared so much about every character that even glanced across the pages.)

Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers, by Jesse Q. Sutanto (I laughed, I loved, I goggled at Vera's incredible ability to bring people together - a more motley crew of people there is not and yet somehow Vera not only makes it work, she makes them family <3)

Special shoutout to Lessons in Chemistry, by Bonnie Garmus, I read this semi-recently (within the last year) so I don't know if my gaga-ness with it will fade or not but right now I'm like: this should absolutely be on this list, I just don't know if that's gonna hold or not. The writing is absolutely gorgeous and the plot is perfect, I just don't know if it's top ten nine perfect, y'know? Also to S.A. Cosby - Razorblade Tears is literally hanging off the end of this list by its fingernails (also read everything else by him because it's all good!).

Ongoing series - that either aren't finished or that I haven't finished so they're not cemented yet (aka Maddie cheats so she can have more spots): The Thursday Murder Club series, by Richard Osman (it's up to four books now and they are absolute perfection - it's a series that believes the best in people, even its villains, no one is allowed to be one note and you never know who it's going to pick up and keep forever), The Monk & Robot series, by Becky Chambers (it's just such a quiet, peaceful little sci-fi series that loves its characters and tea), Empire of the Vampire, by Jay Kristoff (absolutely no notes on the first book, I was stressed out and ravenous), The Infernal War Saga, by Hailey Turner (pitch perfect first two books, I'm obsessed with everyone and, like, borderline too into Honovi and Blaine??), Legends & Lattes, by Travis Baldree (this book is kind and it's found family and it's Cozy High Fantasy, like, who even knew how badly I needed that?! - a prequel is due out next month!), The Expanse series, by James S.A. Corey (okay, I know this is done but I am only through book six, though so far absolutely every one has been perfect), The Amina al-Sirafi Series, by S.A. Chakraborty (the first book is so good, which I am zero percent surprised by because I five-starred my way all the way through The Daevabad Trilogy as well!), and the Susan Ryeland series, by Anthony Horowitz (these mysteries are absolutely right up my alley - because who's investigating them? An editor of the first book's murdered author. I hope he can manage to keep these going because they are so damn good!)

tagged: @andavs, @maichan808, @callunavulgari, @midnightisquiet, @bleep0bleep, @petals42, @emeraldawn, @melowdeee, @alocalband, also anyone else who wants to do this - i love seeing people's literature tastes!!

[youreanidiom]

I made a thing.

[majoraop]

Last Revival

Marco danced around him like a bird of paradise during the mating season. He evaded the jets of Conqueror’s Haki with some difficulties, but his partner hadn’t been able to hit him yet.   The phoenix man smiled fondly, catching his breath. Ace was recovering fast. He recalled the first time they had fought, several years ago, when Ace had challenged their father… At the thought of the late Whitebeard, the smile on Marco’s face faded into a melancholic one. He missed his pop, but Ace had survived at least... kind of.   Marco had revived him—literally.   Using his awakening powers had cost him his immortality, but it was worth it: Marco’s last rebirth wasn’t his own, but his most important person’s. Since their first encounter as enemies, Marco had felt that Ace was the one he had been waiting for (a mate—a lover who would drag him out of the growing loneliness he had started feeling: back then, he had begun to realise what his powers meant).   A life of being left behind, immortal, while all my loved ones disappear from the world one by one.   Eventually, family, friends, and lovers would fade from Marco’s memories, too. Frightened by the thought, he even got nightmares about not remembering his brothers and pop anymore. Then, they stumbled upon Ace—or better, Ace’s flames and impetuous spirit overwhelmed them like a tide.   Ace lost against pop, but he still won Marco’s heart.   And so, when Roger’s son was executed at Marineford, Marco couldn’t accept it. He fought against that cursed fate and fully awoke his phoenix powers, ultimately reviving Ace.   The freckled man came at him with a flurry of acrobatic kicks, upside down with his hands on the grass, grazing Marco’s chest just over the Whitebeard Pirates tattoo. Marco smirked, satisfied: just another couple of weeks at most, and Ace would be fully back in shape.   But what will we do, then?   Marco had a couple of alluring ideas: now that pop’s island wasn’t targeted by the World Government anymore, a peaceful journey around the newly-shaping world would be a nice change of pace. However, he suspected Ace had other plans: he had accepted their new relationship naturally but was younger and his picaresque spirit hadn’t simmered down yet. Probably, Ace wanted to search for their remaining crew members and set sail again; now that their pop had died, would Ace still search for the One Piece? Probably not, considering how his brother Luffy became one of the Four Emperors. And there was also the matter of Ace’s other brother: Sabo, the “Flame Emperor.” It was funny that Ace’s younger brothers had gained such grand epithets. Even funnier, Sabo had eaten his Devil Fruit, the Mera Mera no Mi.   Not that you need it anymore: your new melee combat style mixed with medium-distance jets of Conqueror Haki make you even more powerful than b—   “Oh!”   Marco was taken by surprise by another kick, which sent him backwards.   “A clear hit!” Ace yelled joyously, standing up and grinning at him.   Marco wiped the dirt from his clothes and stepped up to Ace. “You’ve gotten better, yoi… I’m so glad to have you here.” He lowered his head and kissed a blushing Ace lightly on the forehead.   Whatever their future held, they would be together: that was Marco’s new reality, and he would never let it be taken away from him.

@marcoacecentral​​ My third and final work for my MarcoAce mini-bingo card is a canon-divergence fanfic, this one too based on one of my theories!  :P

[dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3]

slides into your inbox

hi i uh. drank a sinister potion (dr. pepper) on the way to school this morning and the problem with perfection filled my head for the fiftieth time so. i'm here now. soooo uh, warning for a very crazy caffeine induced audhd rant. 👍

i just like.... kinda wanna let u know how much this fic means to me. like fr. like seriously. it means a lot to me. we've been mutuals for a while so i feel like now's def a good time (and a long time coming lmao)

iirc i found ur fic when i was in the danganronpa trenches in like, 2021/2022 i think? it was summer and i had nothing better to do with my free time and i was super bored and ishimondo was my personality and i found it while going thru ao3 and was like "yeah. this sounds cool"

and i did NOT know what i was getting into let me tell you. adored the writing really fast. ur skill level actually blew me the fuck away like. instantly. all the characters were incredibly in character, everything was so detailed and i LOVED the fact that you made your writing very emotion driven. like you wrote a lot with like, exaggerated punctuation and pauses and spaces and stuff that i rarely ever see but i feel like your writing was like, so much better for that??? its something i've started to use in my writing because it just draws you in so much and just. puts you into their shoes almost instantly. like it sounds like you're in their head. like i think like that (got that narrator brain in me) and it was just so cool to see someone write like that. got a lot of good moments

and i honest to god binged that fic because it had me by a chokehold. like i'm talking i barely got sleep because i was so excited to read the next chapter the next day that my body would wake me up earlier. and i'd pull it out and binge the next chapter. and when i got to a point where the chapters where still being updated, i remember checking like. every sunday night or so every week to see if it got updated. so many cliffhangers that i was not normal about..........

and i recommended it to EVERYONE i knew that was into danganronpa. like i did not care if they usually read fanfiction or not i would sit there and go on infodump rants about this gay fanfiction i found on the gay fanfiction site and ik i confused them but like. that was how good it was to me. felt like it was a real book. and not only that i honest to god felt like i was reading about me.

like the way you wrote taka meant and continues to mean so much to me to this fucking day because i rarely ever see characters that are like me, at least in an honest to god way. and i was already connected to taka and loved him but i think you made him feel like an extension of me in a way and it just like. idk. it spoke to me man. ik i sound dramatic but it did.

like an autistic queer kid with a strict parent being thrown into so many situations where you just automatically assume everyone else is watching you, judging you, based on past trauma and experiences and just. at the same time so emotional and passionate and just genuine for lack of a better term. and the panic attacks that were written i actually almost had some during reading it because i felt it. that felt like me honest to god (not a bad thing btw!!! i am ok!! but that's a compliment because that's how accurate it was!!)

and during a time where i was dating people who just. idk its hard to explain. i knew they cared about me but there were so many times where there were disconnects. sexuality and gender (gender's not really a part of the story ik but yk what i mean) was a big one. and i felt how he would feel when mondo wasn't exactly the best when it came to his behaviors and expressions of love.

and now i'm with someone who is like. mondo at all his best moments. and even when he matches mondo's lower ones it feels like, there's more times where we can do what they did in the fic and work through it. be there for each other because even if we're both fucked up yk we can like. work through it. and that's so cool honestly?? its not transactional, it means something. i've felt both sides and it's so. crazy to me. it's just wild.

and while i didn't read a lot of it (mental health was NOT in a space where i could i'm gonna be so real) the other installment, the one where mondo comes over to taka's house and they gotta hide and stuff? i've felt that. god i've felt that. my current boyfriend (also a trans man) and i have had so many times where we've had to act as "friends" and hide our romantic gestures and being so deathly afraid of getting caught yk?

idk this fic made me feel seen, and i wonder if there's like... anyone else that feels that way. idk i feel like their definitely is. and i just kinda wanna like. thank you for writing something that just. made me feel heard in a time when i really really needed it. even if we didn't know each other it felt so wild to have a stranger sit there and give me and indirect hug and let me know that i am not the only guy struggling out there with this stuff. it's changed the way i view myself and how i view the world and it's so cool to me that even fanfiction of all things can do that. that's nuts man. you did that and i really wanna emphasize that you should be proud of that. that's so cool. you're writing is so fucking cool man.

and also another thing i. love. that you also wrote about sex being a form of like. expressing love for some people. i am demisexual so like. seeing a character that seemed to also exhibit that and really only feel and have that strong attraction to someone they love romantically and have a connection with, and do it to let the other person know they love them. it's like. that's cool. that's so cool. i'm shaking you that's so cool /pos

and while i'm not fixated on dr right now (as you can. probably tell. (btw obligatory "watch lego monkie kid but also you do not have to i just wanna let you know its cool" plug because of Tha Autism(tm)), and while my comic i was going to make is on a very long hiatus bc adhd is beating the shit out of me, i really want you to know how much i appreciate this fic and how much it just. lives in my brain. how much it makes me emotional to this day because it spoke to me; some random dude who was just getting out of high school who fucking needed that really really bad. and also i want you to know how excited i was when we become mutuals and i'm really really lucky to have someone so cool as my mutual, and you've become even cooler in my brain now that we're kinda yk. in a vaguely similar circle.

anyways i appreciate you so much!!!! and even if we're in different fandoms and stuff, and even if tpwp is also not being continued/on a hiatus i still appreciate what you did with it, and what you do now. don't understand all the fandoms you post but i got that respect for it. i'm in the corner with pom poms cheering u on.

so um. yeah! that was long. but i'm hyped up on caffeine and neurodivergent so ujhm. yea. hopefully this made sense lmao

~ your very much not normal mutual tyler 👍

Okay, sorry for the late response, I saw this when I got up this morning and needed the day to figure how to respond because this was. So much (in a good way I promise!!!!)

So, first of all, THANK YOU FOR THIS!! It's easy as a fic writer to feel discouraged with your writing, or to feel like you're not as "good" as other people, and it's things like this that remind me that whether or not I'm a "good writer," what I write does matter to people. And that's just... really special to me, so thank you for writing this all. It means so much to me.

I'm glad you like the dramatic pauses and the way I write, though! When I was younger, I always tried to limit doing that sort of thing, since I knew it wasn't considered "good" or "proper" writing. But with TPWP I just... decided to let myself write how I wanted to write and not think too much about it. I wrote TPWP kind of how I think, because I wanted it to feel like it was Taka's thoughts and emotions, even if it wasn't in first person. And I'm really glad that came across!

I've always been really big into psychology and introspection, which is one of the main reasons I write about things like that a lot. I like to get into characters heads and try to figure them out. See what they'd be like if this thing happened, or if this thing hadn't happened, etc. I write about struggles, because I struggled as a kid, but in more quiet ways. I mean, all things considered I had a good life. supportive, loving parents and older brother, good grades, people generally liked me and I never got in trouble. But I was so determined to do well that I psyched myself out. I was terrified of disappointing people and losing what I had, and I crumbled in middle and high school. Luckily I had good parents so I was able to stumble through it, but it always left me feeling isolated, since I could never articulate why I felt so off inside. It wasn't until I took an "abnormal psych" class in college that I even realized I had intense anxiety.

All of this to say that I'm glad I was able to resonate with you through my writing. I could never find the words to articulate myself when I was younger, so I took to writing to try and connect with people, to get a message across. Most of my stories have some form of "moral" or "lesson" that I'm trying to get across, lessons that I had to learn myself growing up. TPWP's was that perfection is impossible and that you have to learn to accept yourself for who you are. Honestly, I put the most of myself into Taka, since while I never had a distant parental figure who wanted me to be absolutely perfect, I was kinda that figure to myself. I wanted so badly to be "perfect" and "the favorite" and when I wasn't, I freaked out. I shut down and couldn't even explain to my parents why. So, with TPWP, I wanted to let other people know that it's okay to just... be you.

I don't know if any of this is making any sense, sorry. I had a long day at work and my head is a bit jumbled. Mostly just... thanks for writing this. Things have been tough lately between school and work, and it's nice to be reminded that my stories do matter to people. I never wanted to be a professional writer, but I did always want to write something that made someone, somewhere, feel something. Hopefully something good, something cathartic.

Oh, and as for the sex thing... that was honestly unintended, ha. But I'm Ace, so to me, that's what sex is. Or what it should be. A way to connect emotionally with your partner above all else. Honestly, the only reason I wrote sex into TPWP was to explore the way it would interact with their friendship, not to be like... sexual, ha. Glad you liked how I wrote it!

Anyway, thanks again for writing this!! And I'm glad we're mutuals too! Yeah, I am part of some interesting fandoms on my main blog, but I'm glad it's not too off-putting, ha. I'll try and check out that show some day, though! I don't have a lot of emotional energy to get into a new show at the moment (as I'm sure some people can understand, since starting a new fandom can be a lot at times), but maybe once (IF) things calm down for me I'll take a look! I have seen a lot of posts about the monkie kid show, not just from you, so it's something I might check out one of these days. I'm mostly waiting for Our Flag Means Death season 2 to air tomorrow so I can get washed away into Pirate Town for the next month or so, while the episodes release. 😅😅😅

[nonuggetshere]

How does lurien and monomon adjust to the rulers being exiled in usurper au? Most people portray lurien as devoted to the king; would he try to follow them? And is there resentment against herrah, since as she is a ruler of a neighboring kingdom, and politically powerful, she got off pretty Scot free as far as I can tell? Or is there a period of time where herrah (or deepnest) and hollow were fighting, or was he less bitter towards her since she wasn't loyal to pk like lurien, and just made a deal for her daughter. (Was monomon loyal to pk? Was she HIS archivist, or just a jellyfish that agreed to help pk?) Sorry for all the questions!

DON'T APOLOGISE, I LOVE QUESTIONS, I LIVE FOR PEOPLE ASKING ME STUFF ABOUT MY AUS

Lurien was the most loyal to Pale King, which means his treatment after his exile is the harshest. In this AU though we did add some more neighbouring tribes/kingdoms for good ol' political drama and Lurien is the youngest son of one of such tribes, which was very loyal to the Pale King. This puts Hollow in a bad place with them and while they'd love to tell Lurien to get the hell out of their kingdom, they know it's not their call to make so stripping him of his title and sending him back to his home will have to do.

It's a few days after the exile that anybody actually finds out about it so by that time the two are far away from Hallownest, so even if Lurien wanted to follow his former king he couldn't. He just returns to the same life as a noble that he led before being given the title of the watcher.

Monomon was loyal to Pale King as his archivist, but Hollow can't exactly strip her of her rank as she's the only archivist in Hallownest after she sent her apprentice Quirrel away. So for now they keep a very close eye on her but promised to help her find Quirrel and bring him back home. She doesn't exactly know how to feel about the sudden change in leadership but for now, the two remain civil with each other.

You're right that Herrah doesn't face any consequences for playing a role in their sealing. While Hollow is a little bit bitter about it, she wasn't loyal to their father in any way and she's the queen of another kingdom so not only do they not resent her as much they also know better than to start any shit with her and Deepnest. Especially at the beginning of their rule when all of Hallownest's former allies pull away from them. They're both wary of each other but keep it civil, mostly for Hornet's sake as she loves her big sibling and is ecstatic to have both of them back (and about the fact that Hollow can finally play with her).

Lurien, Monomon and Herrah are all close friends though so the two understand her unique position and don't hold any resentment for it.

Ultimately though, their grievances were with their father, not the three dreamers, so with time their relationships get better.

Hollow's and Lurien's relationship will forever be practically non-existent. Lurien never regains his title so the two practically never interact, but the times that they do they keep it polite and formal. Lurien did eventually apologise for his involvement in the plan, and while he still remains loyal to Pale King he also accepts Hollow's rule, so Hollow simply accepts his apology and doesn't pay him much mind after that.

Monomon and Hollow eventually develop a relationship of mutual respect and are just normal coworkers, and she's allowed to stay as the Hallownest's archivist even after Quirrel returns. While she was sceptical about their rule at first, she saw how hard they worked to ensure Hallownest's well-being and even how they took interest in her work, so she finally accepted them as the new monarch. Hollow also lets go of their anger with time, and allowing Monomon to remain as their kingdom's archivist was a big part of it. She of course also apologised for her involvement as a dreamer.

Hollow and Herrah eventually grow to be allies and then close friends, thanks to their relationship to Hornet and the fact they ended up interacting way more often (also thanks to the aforementioned little princess). She was wary of them as she didn't know what to make of their sudden and violent raise to power, she hadn't known them as a person and while she understood their reasoning she had no idea what kind of ruler they would be so she wanted to approach the situation on the side of caution. But not only was Hollow not some shifty, violent bastard, but they also always treated her and her kingdom with respect and like equals - even despite their status as a god. So she eventually warmed up to them and treated them with the same amount of respect. She even started being almost motherly to them, thanks in part to her own daughter being their sibling.

[httpiastri]

calling out for my dear 🎀 anon: the ask you sent me today, oh my GOD !!! it's so!! i don't even have words!!!!!!!! reading through it was a huge pleasure every time (yes, not just once. at least four times) and i enjoyed every second of it. literally haven't been able to stop giggling and smiling whenever i think about it. anyways my point was: thank you so so so so much, i probs will take a little longer to answer bcs i wanna write stuff back but 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 you're doing god's work, thank you

[calcifersfireplaceonao3]

Can you do a prompt for domestic cleon fluff, bonus points if they have children

Well, you said kids and uhhh, how about three of them?

Media: Resident Evil

Ship: Claire/Leon

Rating: General; Tags: Children, domestic fluff, background platonic or romantic Valenfield

-----------------

“Mom? Why does auntie Jill have a dog we can’t play with?” Claire looks down at her son’s serious face, a scrunched little V in between his faint red-brown eyebrows.

“Well,” she says, leaning back on the counter and wiping her hands on a dishtowel, “she’s a service dog. She’s working right now.”

“Her dog has a job?” The V gets deeper and Claire has to smile at his incredulous tone. Ruffling his hair she laughs, Leon, across from her leaning on the stove chuckles.

“Yeah. She’s got a job. She makes sure Jill feels okay, watches out for her.”

“So not like Grover.” he says slowly, “All Grover does is sleep. And poop.”

“Yup. Just like your sister.” Leon says, dodging the towel Claire snaps his way with a smile before scooping up Scott and laughing with him. 

Scott’s childish voice rings through the hallway as Leon carries him away before Claire can hear him shouting in the backyard. Their oldest, Shirley yells back, sounding like she’s starting up a game of tag. Claire smiles to herself, reaching up to put the last of the morning dishes away.

“I don’t know why you’re doing that.” Leon says behind her fondly, resting his hands on her hips and pulling her back into him. “We’re just going to have to pull them all out again once your brother stops hogging the grill.” 

“Like I’m letting any of my flatware out on that concrete, besides, you let him take over.” Leon kisses along her neck and Claire tilts her head to the side with a quiet sigh. Who’d’ve thought, all those years ago, that they'd end up here? Three kids, a big yard, too idyllic to be real but it is. Chris’ deep laugh sounds from outside and Claire can only guess that it’s from some quiet joke Jill told him, or maybe the kids being goofy. 

“Eugh. ‘Let’ is a strong word, he would have been annoying till I let him, it was strategic.” 

“Ah.” Claire turns in his arms and smiles into the kiss he gives her. “Strategic. Sure, sure. Totally believe that, and not that maybe you didn’t want to be in charge of food? Huh? Mr. I Burn Most Things Kenedy?”

“Hm. I’ll let that one slide.” On the counter the baby monitor squawks to life, “Sorry, gotta go, my baby’s calling.”

“I always knew I was the side piece!” Claire calls and Leon claps his hand to his heart as if shot and stumbles dramatically out the doorway. 

Once outside the afternoon passes in a haze of dreamy happiness. Leon brings the baby downstairs and shoots Claire a faux-annoyed look when immediately Chris scoops up his newest niece. Claire pokes him in the side once and laughs as he jumps, watching with an unconscious smile as Chris sits carefully next to Jill and the two of them make the baby laugh with funny faces.

“Cece, right?” Jill asks.

“Yeah, well, Celia, but we call her Cece.”

“She’s beautiful.”

-

Just as Cece is finally asleep after her last bottle, from down the hall comes a loud wail. In her crib, the sound makes Cece start and her cries join in with an ear piercing harmony. 

“I’ve got him, you good here?” Leon nods, already focused on soothing the startled infant, pulling her into his arms.

Claire cracks the door to her son’s bedroom open wider, adding illumination to the shark night-light and glow in the dark stars scattered across the ceiling, “Hey baby, what’s happening?” 

Behind her she can hear a door open quietly and she turns, nodding to Shirley, “He’s okay, I’ve got him, thanks Love.” Shirley sleepily nods and closes her door again.

Scott is sitting up in his bed, no longer sobbing but hiccuping with tears stains running tracks down his cheeks. When Claire lays down beside him he snuggles into her arms immediately, leaving a snotty-wet smear stain right in the center of her shirt, but she can’t say she minds. “Want to tell me about it?”

“It was-” He hiccups again and she rubs his back soothingly, “Scary, big dogs- and I couldn’t find you!”

“I’m right here, I’ll always be here.” 

His hands are fisted into her shirt, “But what if I can’t find you?” 

“You know how it goes, just like in the grocery store. I’ll find you, no matter what. No matter what.” 

He still looks troubled but lets himself be soothed, the exhaustion of the day settling in again.

“You can sleep with us tonight if you want.”

“Shirley says five is too old to sleep in your bed.”

“Well. I’ll tell you a secret,” Scott leans in with his big serious eyes, dying to know, “Shirley would still get nightmares when she was seven.” 

Scott giggles with her, “Okay.” 

“Okay.” Claire nods, picking him up despite how heavy he’s getting. By the time she’s changed into her pajamas he’s already asleep right in the middle of their bed. Claire scoots him over enough to give herself room and he’s dead to the world, sleeping soundly while she reads and waits for Leon. When Leon finally enters she holds a finger up to her mouth, pointing at their son. Leon only lifts his eyebrows, moving one of Scott’s arms off his pillow as he slides in.

“What are you smiling about?” He asks quietly.

“Just thinking. We’ve been through quite a bit to get here. Reminding myself to be grateful, I guess.” She whispers to him over Scott’s head.

“We’re pretty lucky, for sure.” He reaches for her cheek and she turns her head to kiss his palm. “Really lucky.”

-----

Uh, yeah. Hi. Had no idea how to start with this prompt but ended up having a lot of fun with it? Hope this was something close!

Shirley: 8

Scott: 5

Celia: 5 months

[wowbright]

Fic: Ancient Scrolls Don’t Lie

Klaine Advent 2022 #14: dispose

Words: ~1850 words

Rating: Teen and Up

Summary: Kurt finds out what happened to Elder Thompson. (Sort of.)

I’m back with more vignettes from my Mormon!Klaine universe for Klaine Advent 2022! This vignette takes after Convergence (they’re still at the mission conference).

My Mormon!Klaine Masterpost.

Notes/warnings: Anti-Catholic sentiment (very). Well-intentioned but ignorant discussion of Judaism. White boys both grappling with and ignoring racism at the same time.

--------

The one good thing about being assigned the family bathroom for afternoon cleanup was that Kurt finally had a few minutes alone with Elder St. James. The news that had been nagging at him on and off throughout the day could now be spoken.

“I can't believe you didn't tell me about Elder Thompson,” Kurt scolded the back of Elder St. James’s head.

The latter missionary was stooped over the toilet of the family washroom, scrubbing it with a bristled brush. “Look.” Elder St. James flung the toilet brush into the bowl and scowled at Kurt. “I didn't really even know what was going on most of the conference. First a text message that he and Elder Flanagan were going to be late, then that he was missing, then that they had found him. And President Steele kept telling me not to worry about it, that it was for him and area leaders to take care of. I should focus on this conference.”

“Apparently I need to keep a better eye on my companions. I didn't notice you talking to President Steele constantly. Just your interview with him today in his office, and that didn't last more than five minutes.”

“I wasn't. It was mostly text messages. He wouldn’t tell me exactly what was going on, and Elder Thompson is probably the most stable missionary I've ever met, and Elder Flanagan—well, you've worked with Elder Flanagan. He's nice, but he's a little … let's just say I wouldn’t be that surprised if he wandered off with a girl. So I thought maybe he was really the problem, and Elder Thompson had gone looking for him and gotten into an accident or something and that’s why he was missing. But I didn't want to start gossip.”

“You? Not wanting to start gossip? That's rich. And what if he had been in an accident? We should have all been praying for him then.” Kurt scrubbed the final corner of the diaper changing station furiously.

Elder St. James looked like he was about to set his hands on his hips, then seemed to realize that he was wearing gloves besmirched with toilet cleaner and folded them together, instead. “Yes, I like gossip. But passing on existing gossip is different than starting it.”

“Fine. Glad to see you’ve grown in the gospel so much more than I have over the course of your mission.” Kurt slammed the changing table shut and latched it to the wall.

“That's not what I'm saying. Besides, President Steele was very firm about me keeping it on the downlow.”

“Apparently he didn’t tell that to Elder Flanagan!”

“You think Elder Flanagan is capable of following directions from anybody? Besides, everything he said this morning was wrong.”

“What do you mean? Elder Thompson didn't run off?” Kurt grabbed a bottle of glass cleaner and turned toward the mirror.

“No. That part is right. And he is being removed from proselytizing. But he's not being sent home when he only has one week left in his mission. He's going to spend the rest of it working at the genealogy center in Freiberg.” Elder St. James looked at the toilet, gave it one final scrub with the brush, and flushed it.

“I thought you said you didn't know anything,” Kurt said through gritted teeth.

“I didn't. But President Steele gave me a little update in my interview with him this afternoon. And I'm really not supposed to be talking about it with anybody, but …” Elder St. James lower his voice. “Elder Flanagan was also wrong about it being a girl.”

Kurt froze. He couldn't look at his own reflection in the mirror. He concentrated on a white soap stain in the lower corner and rubbed at it steadily. If it wasn't a girl, did that mean it was a— But no. Kurt had never clocked Elder Thompson as gay. But he’d never clocked him as a criminal or an apostate, either, and those were the only other two choices.

“Elder Hummel, you look as white as the sink. What do you think I'm gonna say?”

“I have no idea.”

“Well, stop worrying. It’s not that bad.” Elder St. James pulled off his gloves and disposed of them in the trash. “At least, I don't think so. But … I guess there have been incidents. You’ve worked with him a bit, right? You know how he's sympathetic to other religious views almost to a fault?”

When Kurt had served in the same district as Elder Thompson, it had been Elder Thompson's idea for them to visit the local mosque on P-day. But they hadn't done anything there. They’d just stood in the back, listening to the prayers, and then they’d talked to the imam about the similarities in their religions. No one made a declaration of fealty to Muhammad. It wasn't much different from visiting a cathedral, which Kurt had done on many P-days. “I wouldn’t say that. He was open in a way that all missionaries should be.”

Elder St. James made a contradictory click with his tongue and grabbed the broom. “Are missionaries supposed to go to a Catholic church and take the Eucharist?”

Kurt almost dropped his paper towel. “He what now?”

“Yeah. Which I shouldn't have even known about, it was like three transfers ago apparently. But he told me … maybe a month ago? I told him to tell President Steele, but he said why should he, he used to do it whenever he was visiting with his grandparents and he was just feeling a little homesick—you know his grandfather died last year while Elder Thomas was out here, right? And yeah, it sucks not to be able to go home for funerals, but that's no excuse for cannibalism with the Catholics. I mean, seriously, who knows what's in that wafer? Catholics think that it's the actual body of Christ but it can't be, so whose body it it?”

“It’s bread, Elder St. James. Made out of flour. And wine. Made out of grapes.”

"I know it looks that way. But they do all those incantations and there's that incense and … I don’t know. It's like a Satanic mass or something. There's something creepy going on with those wafers.”

“Exactly how many Satanic masses have you been to, Elder St. James?”

“None, but I was an extra in a horror movie called—”

Kurt held up his hand to stop the onslaught of stupidity. “That's fiction.”

“Yeah, but … fiction can have a kernel of truth in it, can't it? And Catholic churches make me so uncomfortable. All those statues and candles and stuff. I don't feel the presence of the Holy Ghost there. Which is exactly what I told Elder Thompson.”

“OK. So he's in trouble for taking the sacrament at a Catholic Church?”

Elder St. James shook his head as if to clear it. “No. I don't think he ever told President Steele about that. Now it has something to do with Judaism. He’s been teaching a Jewish family for a while and I guess … they did a better job of converting him than vice versa?”

This conversation was a rollercoaster of the unexpected. “But Jews don't convert people.”

“Everyone converts people. That's what religion is for.”

“No. They don't. I mean, I'm not an expert, but I had Jewish friends in high school and I visited a synagogue, and no one tried to convert me. My friend Rachel told me that if I wanted to convert, I’d be turned away at least three times before they'd finally agree to consider it, and that would just be the beginning because the actual preparation for baptism or whatever they call it would take years. She thought that's how Mormons should do things, too. Said it would make us a lot less annoying.”

Elder St. James stopped sweeping. He rested his hands on top of the broomstick and tilted his head to the side, like a robin listening for worms in the ground. “She might be right. I mean, about the less annoying thing.” He smiled as if he had come upon a perfectly cut gem in a pile of rough stones, and shook his head again. “OK, so I don’t know his official status as far as conversion. But ever since they had this sort of pre-Easter celebration dinner over at the house of this Jewish family—”

“You mean Passover? Jews don't celebrate Easter.”

“Yes! Passover!” Elder Saint James snapped his fingers. “Like Jesus and the disciples did, except … different, I guess? Anyway, ever since he went to this dinner, he's been asking a lot of questions about the temple and the Book of Abraham and the Book of Moses. Which confused me, because if Judaism is so hot, why is he complaining about their scriptures? And he was like, ‘No, dummy, they’re in the Pearl of Great Price, not the Old Testament; Joseph Smith wrote them.’ He actually said that. ‘Joseph Smith wrote them.’ Not ‘translated them.’”

“Joseph Smith didn't write that stuff. He translated it from ancient scrolls.” Kurt tossed the paper towel into the garbage. He was no expert in the books of the Pearl of Great Price. It was probably his most neglected set of scriptures. But he remembered that much from seminary. The Book of Abraham was proof of Joseph Smith being a prophet and translator, because the church and the actual ancient Egyptian scrolls that he had translated it from.

“Right. I know. But Elder Thompson has gone off the deep end. He’s saying none of it is real, and if we really want to follow in Moses and Abraham’s footsteps, we should talk to the people who've been following them for millennia, instead of blindly swallowing what some racist white guy from America wrote about them in the 1800s.”

“But Joseph Smith was an abolitionist!”

“I know. But Elder Thompson keeps making me question it. He made me super uncomfortable the other day. He's been trying to prove to me that he's right, and he read out loud the part about ‘for the seed of Cain were black’—and I know it isn’t racist just like ‘the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon’ the Lamanites isn’t racist, because it really means that they were without the light of Christ and not that they were, like, African-American, but— Well. It sure sounded racist, when he read it to me.”

Kurt’s stomach churned the way it did every time he encountered those passages. He knew what Elder St. James said was true. He had heard it in Sunday School and seminary and from his bishop and from his father. God wasn't a racist, and the Book of Mormon and the Pearl of Great Price were the word of God, so what they said couldn't be racist either. If the words sounded racist to us, that was human fallibility. If too many of the Mormons he'd met on his mission took these passages at face value, that was a lack of spiritual discernment on their part, not a problem with the text itself.

[4ragon]

hey sorry this is super late!! if u happen to be still doing prompts, can i request ‘Taking a break from washing dishes to slow-dance in the kitchen to their favorite song’ for narumitsu?

Lol I’ll be honest, I think I’m always down for these ask games until the point that I can no longer find the prompts. 

“Really, Wright, how do you let the dishes pile up like this?”

“What do you mean?” Phoenix asked innocently, attempting to hide the overflowing sink with his back. “What dishes?”

Edgeworth glared pointedly at him, stepping forward to look over the mess. “Really, I leave you alone for one week, and already you’ve turned the place into a pigsty.”

“A pigsty?!” Phoenix had the audacity to look indignant at that. “It’s dishes. It’s not like I let Trucy disappear a load-bearing wall.”

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. “...Again.”

“Again.”

Edgeworth sighed, shaking his head. “Well, that’s not the point,” he admonished. “Why on earth did you let these pile up so much? It’s not like we don’t have a working dishwasher you could…”

The two of them slowly glanced down, toward the little green light on the dishwasher.

“...And how long have the clean dishes been waiting to be put away?” Edgeworth asked dryly, crossing his arms, finger tapping irritably.

“...oh, you know.”

A beat. “A while then, I take it—”

“Listen!” Phoenix snapped quickly.

Edgeworth paused, already reaching for the dishwasher.

“...Oh, uh, sorry, I didn’t actually have any follow up.” Phoenix chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Didn't think you were going to let me.”

Edgeworth simply sighed in response. “Well, no time like the present I suppose,” he muttered.

The two of them began quickly unloading the dishwasher. Or rather, Edgeworth began unloading the dishwasher after about a full minute of arguing with Phoenix about where the dishes went.

“See? If I unloaded the dishwasher, you would’ve spent the entire day complaining about how I did it,” Phoenix muttered glumly, wiping down a few bowls that were still wet.

“Well, I wouldn’t have to complain if you would just pay attention to how everything is organized.” Edgeworth crossed his arms. “Now, help me clear out the sink.”

“Alright, alright,” Phoenix said, shaking his head. Then, “Oh! Hold on, let me just…”

He turned, and Edgeworth peered at him. “Wright?”

“Hold on…hold…onnnnnnn—there!”

Suddenly, there was music. Phoenix turned. “There we go.”

“Do we really need music for this?” Edgeworth asked as Phoenix turned on the sink.

“Eh, why not?” Phoenix grinned at him. “Come on, you just got back from Europe! Let’s have a bit of fun!”

“Fun? Why would—” Suddenly, there was a hand in his, and Edgeworth was being tugged forward. “Wright.” But Phoenix was smiling at him, and even after all this time, Edgeworth could feel a tug of butterflies in his stomach. “You are incorrigible.”

The two of them began to sway, music filling the air. “...I missed you, you know,” Phoenix said softly. “It’s no fun doing chores without you.”

“Hmph. And you find chores more ‘fun’ with me?” Edgeworth asked dryly, even as a small smile curled at the corner of his lips.

“Well yeah. Otherwise, I can’t do this.” And Phoenix leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Edgeoworth’s lips. “Have to recharge my battery somehow.”

“Ah, I see. So you’re just lazy.”

Phoenix laughed.

They swayed like that for a while longer, until the music petered out. Edgeworth sighed, annoyance gone, warmth blooming in his chest. I missed you too, he wanted to say. But as he opened his mouth, the words were interrupted by taiko drums. Edgeworth jerked. “Wh—”

“Oh, hey, I forgot I had the Steel Samurai theme song!” Phoenix said with a laugh, still attempting to dance with Edgeworth.

“Why on earth—?!”

“Come on, I know it’s your favorite,” Phoenix crooned.

“Wha—Of course it isn’t. And it’s certainly not a song to dance t—Phoenix.”

Another laugh, as Phoenix continued to pull him into a slightly livelier dance, pulling his arms back and forth.

All in all, it took at least another hour before the sink was clean. But, well, in the end, Edgeworth found he didn't mind.

(I'm still good to go for few more prompts)

[crescentmp3]

my head hurts from listening to music but if i dont have some outer stimulation i'll explode

[weirdmageddon]

i love these tags this person is so right

actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?

i wanna get into this actually

(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)

even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie

but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"

im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,

don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity

dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor

(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)

despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him

rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said

and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol

roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"

side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.

i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect

but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?

yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise

so, dave's environment

the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors

his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)

roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok

what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)

rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:

and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear

but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable

there two types of ironies at play here:

seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)

doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)

you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.

"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"

how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1

he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”

dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.

*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift

dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:

if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.

basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"

speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use

oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. ​she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”

btw dave lalonde would look like this to me

[libraryofgage]

Addams Family B-Side (3)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three (you're here!) Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two (on the way!) Harley Quinn One 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two (on the way!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz)

Did I already post today? Yes. Did I also post two chapters of Modern Steve in 80s Hawkins today? Yes. I am just incredibly productive today, who knows when it's gonna happen again lol

Anyway, finally! The next B-Side! This bitch has been stewing my guys, so I hope you enjoy it lol

There are two memes at the very end of this one, so definitely stick around

As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't 😘

--------

For four weeks, Eddie feels himself losing his mind. He finds gifts in his locker every other day, and he's convinced they're from Steve Harrington. He now has a taxidermied bat, a fancy-looking vial with a skull and crossbones embossed in the glass and filled with mysterious liquid, an actual human skull that Eddie immediately incorporates into his next campaign, and a spider. An actual spider. A live spider that, after a little research, he learns is a fucking Black Widow that seems unnaturally friendly.

Eddie can't stress that part enough. Multiple people have mistaken the spider for an intricate vest patch because it just sits perfectly still over his chest pocket. It only moves to rub its head against Eddie's fingers whenever his hand passes over it, and even then it's careful to avoid hurting him with its pincers.

He names her Nox.

Those aren't the only gifts he's received, but they're the most notable, and Eddie is overwhelmed and flustered by the positive attention he's suddenly receiving.

The other thing driving him crazy is Pubert Addams, a guy Eddie had never paid much attention to before but now considers his mortal enemy. He's convinced Pubert is, at worst, potentially abusive or, at best, delusional and taking advantage of Steve's kindness and inability to brutally turn him down. Or maybe Eddie is the crazy one; he doesn't actually know. Whichever it is, Eddie is ready to take the very nice dagger he now has (gift number 15; yes, Eddie has been counting) and stab him with it.

Because he can't get more than two minutes alone with Steve before Pubert appears out of nowhere. Eddie runs into Steve in the hall while everyone else is in class? Pubert shows up with a hall pass two seconds later and literally waltzes Steve away from him. Eddie finds Steve camped out in the library during study hall? Pubert materializes in the chair next to Steve before Eddie can sit down, leaning far too close as he asks Steve to explain something from their shared Gothic Literature class. Eddie, by some miracle, is behind Steve in the lunch line (and he calls this a miracle because Steve always brings his lunch in a pink box with black skulls, which Eddie considers incredibly brave of him to carry around like it's nothing)? Before Eddie can do more than say hi and get a blinding smile in return, Pubert fucking Addams shows up and drags Steve away while promising to share his lunch.

Eddie is just about to lose the last shred of patience he's struggling to maintain when Steve finds him. Ironically, it's the same bathroom where they first talked, the one with mysterious mold growing in the corner that Eddie is convinced is some new species. It's the only bathroom with a busted smoke detector, and Eddie goes there to get high during his free period.

He's halfway through a joint, smoke curling around him as he sits on the sink counter and tries not to think about what else has been there, when the door swings open, Steve walks in, and Eddie chokes on his inhale.

"Don't die like this," Steve says, stepping closer and patting Eddie's back like they know each other, "It's no fun."

Eddie finally gets himself under control, taking a deep breath and wincing at the way his lungs burn. "No worries," he croaks out, regretting the departure of Steve's hand on his back. "What are you doing here? Please don't tell me you plan to use this bathroom."

"As curious as I am about the bacteria teeming on these toilet seats, no." Steve sounds genuine, like he really does want to swab the toilet seats and see what grows. Instead, he places his bag on the sink and pulls out a familiar vial with a familiar skull and crossbones. "I just came to drink."

"Oh?" Eddie says, leaning forward with a grin. He looks Steve up and down, taking in the pale blue sweater vest and immaculately pressed jeans. "You don't look the drinking type, Stevie."

Steve hums, popping the cork out of the vial and taking a swig from it. "This isn't exactly hard stuff," he says after he swallows, distracted enough that Eddie thinks he misses his eyes lingering on Steve's throat as it bobs.

"Just beer then?"

"What?" Steve asks, looking at Eddie like he's delusional. "No, it's cyanide and vinegar."

He says it with such conviction that Eddie believes him despite knowing cyanide is poison. "Metal," he says, looking away to take another drag of his joint as he struggles to break through his own awkwardness and hold a conversation that will somehow sweep Steve off his feet and make him forget all about Pubert Addams.

Before he can think of something clever and smooth and funny, Steve leans close and raises a hand to his chest. Eddie is about to warn him that Nox is, in fact, real when the spider scuttles onto Steve's fingers and settles in his palm. She does a little up-and-down motion, circles in his hand twice, and rubs her head against his wrist. "You've been taking good care of her," Steve says.

"Uh, yeah. How is she not biting you right now?" Eddie asks, remembering all the times Nox has warningly snapped at others who tried to touch her.

Steve snorts and allows Nox to return to her spot on Eddie's vest. "I raised her," he says, his tone casual like he isn't admitting to showering Eddie with inexplicable gifts for the past four weeks, "of course, she won't bite me."

"So, it has been you," Eddie replies, wanting to hear it from Steve himself.

With a soft hum, Steve takes another sip from his bottle. "Who else would it have been?"

Eddie licks his lips, takes another drag of his joint to brace himself, and hops off the counter. "So, uh, does that mean you li--"

Before the rest of the question can be asked, the bathroom door swings open again, and Eddie feels his eye twitch as Pubert Addams frowns at them. "So, this is where you were," he says, walking over to Steve and putting an arm around his shoulders.

"I told you I was going to the bathroom," Steve says, rolling his eyes as he stuffs the vial back into his bag.

Pubert looks Eddie over, a derisive huff escaping him as he dismisses Eddie and looks at Steve. "On the other side of the school? Really?" he asks, and Eddie would be overthinking what that means if he weren't sure his veins were about to burst.

"We were talking, you know," Eddie says, gaining Pubert's attention again. Steve looks at him, too, his eyes a little brighter.

"I'm sure," Pubert replies, rolling his eyes as he takes Steve's bag. "And now we're leaving." With that, he leads Steve out of the bathroom, the door swinging shut before Steve can do more than smile apologetically and wave.

Anger surges through Eddie, and the shaky drag he takes to finish off his joint does absolutely nothing to soothe it.

He's going to kill Pubert Addams.

--------

Funnily enough, Steve's mother doesn't learn about his crush until he's five weeks into it. When Debbie finally does discover the crush, it's because she walks in on Fester and Steve decorating homemade cookies shaped like anatomically correct hearts. She pauses in the doorway, looking between the two covered in flour and raspberry jam, and asks, "What on earth is going on here?"

Steve looks up, sees this as his chance to finally tell Debbie, and smiles brightly at her. "I'm in love, Mother. He's allergic to raspberry, and Father agreed to help me make him cookies with raspberry filling, so he can feel the same breathlessness I do when I see him," he explains, using his thumb to wipe raspberry jam off his cheek.

Debbie stares at him for a few seconds before looking at Fester. "How long have you known?" she asks.

"Five weeks," Fester admits, looking apologetic. "I wanted to tell you, Pumpkin! But Steve asked me not to so he could tell you himself."

She sighs and walks over to the island, sitting on the edge of a stool and taking one of the cookies for herself. She bites off a pulmonary vein, looking thoughtful as she chews. "I must admit, these are damn good cookies," she finally says, taking one more bite before passing it to Fester to finish. "Tell me about him."

And Steve does. He gushes about Eddie for a solid hour without taking a single breath, spilling everything he's seen Eddie do and how he's reacted to all of Steve's gifts and how he gets so obviously jealous when Pubert butts into their conversations. He tells Debbie about Eddie not screaming when he saw Nox, about him selling drugs, and about his interest in music. Steve laments his hair but eagerly describes the treatment routine he already has in mind.

By the time he's done, the cookies are decorated and his mother's expression has grown a little pained. "Steve, darling, come with me," she says, getting up from the chair and leading him out of the kitchen while Fester starts to clean up.

Steve waits until Debbie has brought him to her spare room to ask, "Did I do something wrong?"

"Well, did you remember my rules about crushes?"

"Yeah. I've talked to him a lot."

Debbie smiles and brings Steve over to the bed, sitting him down and straightening his hair before perching next to him. "Then, you're not in trouble, but you've been going about this all wrong, dear."

"Should I tell Pubert to stop making Eddie jealous?"

"Absolutely not," Debbie says, shaking her head firmly. "In fact, he could try harder. Nothing gets to a man like someone he can't have, especially if he thinks they're in distress."

Steve blinks, frowning slightly as he tries to figure out where, exactly, he's gone wrong. Eddie seems perfectly enamored with him, after all, and Pubert's goading is encouraging his affections, which is the only reason Steve has allowed it to continue. "Did I give him a live spider too soon?" Steve asks, figuring that's the problem here.

"No, that's not...," Debbie trails off, mutters something about Fester being an idiot, and clears her throat. "Steve, your father is the last person you should approach for love advice."

"But...you agreed to marry him, so he must have done something right," Steve says.

Debbie barks a laugh, waving her hand dismissively. "I married your father for his money. I attempted to kill his entire family and only stopped when he promised to give me everything I asked for. I would hardly call him a casanova."

Steve nods along, smiling a little as she speaks. He's heard their great love affair many times, but he doesn't get tired of it. "But you actually love him anyway, right? Father says it's because he showered you with gifts. So, that's what I'm doing."

"I...do love your father," Debbie admits, sighing as though she doesn't know how that happened either. "But it's less because of his gifts and more because...he gave me the devotion I wanted. Anyway, if you learn anything from us, it should be that love comes second."

"What comes first?"

Debbie smiles, the expression positively devious, and Steve can't help returning it. "Obsession," she says, her shoulders rolling back some as pride fills her. "Occupy his every waking thought. Make yourself irresistible. Make him dream of you at night. Overwhelm him with desire until he simply must act on it."

"Oh," Steve says, thinking of how his father acts around Debbie and realizing that obsession never quite went away. But it's worked out well for them, and he knows his mother has experience with luring men into her arms. He nods once and asks, "So, what should I do?"

"I'm so glad you asked," Debbie says, her smile bright and her eyes filled with excitement. "You'll have Eddie falling to his knees before you in no time."

--------

Eddie didn't think it could get worse. He was already attracted to Steve, already distracted by every little movement.

He was wrong. So incredibly wrong.

Because here he is, his mouth dry and his palms sweaty and his cheeks warm because of Steve. He's not even doing anything. Well, that's not true. Steve is curling his tongue around a lollipop before sucking it into his mouth like he'll die without it. But it's more than that. It's the painted-on jeans that hug his legs; it's the pastel pink hoodie (with little bats on the cuffs) that rides up whenever Steve moves to show off a strip of skin just above his waistband; it's the way he finishes the lollipop and pulls out lipgloss, casually telling Pubert it's raspberry flavored as he puts it on.

Eddie swallows around the dryness in his mouth, gripping his locker door so tight that his knuckles turn white as he looks inside it. Sitting innocently on top of everything is a Tupperware container of cookies with raspberry filling (according to the label), and Eddie is ready to eat one just so he can die knowing what Steve's lips taste like.

That's not even the worst of it. The worst is that Steve transfers into Eddie's Music Theory class, smiling innocently while the teacher introduces him and then directs him to sit at the empty desk next to Eddie. When he's close, Eddie realizes Steve smells like cookies and cream ice cream, and he's tempted to ask if Steve smells like his favorite flavor on purpose.

The teacher saves him from the embarrassment of blurting out the question by announcing a project. The teacher then dooms him by telling everyone they're required to work with their desk neighbor. Eddie grips his pen tightly when the teacher tells them to spend the rest of their class time discussing the project.

"So," Steve says, getting Eddie's attention. When he looks over, Steve is leaning forward on his desk, chin propped in his hand as he looks at Eddie. "Want to come over to my place after school? To work on the project, I mean."

Eddie stares at Steve for a few seconds, his tongue stuck in his throat. To his credit, Steve doesn't say anything or call Eddie out for staring at him. He just waits patiently with a little smile curling his lips. Eddie finally clears his throat, his voice coming out a little strained when he says, "Yeah, sure, sounds good. After school. Your place. Project."

Smooth. Real smooth.

When Steve just smiles wider and stretches his arms above his head, pulling his hoodie up, while suggesting they do the project on the evolution of heavy metal music, Eddie realizes he's probably going to die after school.

He can't wait.

-------

Tag List (I think there's still room for a few more people ^_^)

@estrellami-1, @itsall-taken, @mugloversonly, @fandomcartographer, @hippielittlemetalhead, @agree2disagre-kicks, @ledleaf, @just-a-tiny-void, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @ink1177, @maya-custodios-dionach, @littlebluejane, @steddieonbigboy, @ravenpainter, @read-write-thrive, @deadontheinside20, @yeahhhh-suga, @nectandra, @mogami13, @mx-jinxous, @thoughtfulbreadpolice, @anne-bennett-cosplayer, @xoxoladyclara

@zaddipax, @dycte, @breealtair, @geekymagicalpotato, @janea-grill, @juliasthename-adhdismygame, @yikes-a-bee, @wayward-people, @st-fics, @disrespectedgoatman, @bipusssy, @cottagecorebutnaturescaresme, @nightowl14028018, @that-binchh, @your-confused-friend, @irethsune, @goosesister, @strawberryyyenthusiast, @irregular-child, @theverywest

And, finally, a two-for-one meme special because I couldn't decide which was funnier:

[wynsummers]

i've been thinking about the whole "friction in his jeans" thing a lot lately, and while it is certainly one of the more iconic instances of the lyric in the CD booklet being different from the actual song, it is far from the only one. on top of that, there are quite a few lyrics that play with double meanings that only become clear when they're written out.

so, i present a collection of every lyric in the fob CD booklets that differ from the final version, punctuation and double meanings that aren't noticeable unless the song is written out, and any other interesting details i find in the process, or a really long post of me cornplating about fob:

disclaimer that if the difference is small enough/doesn't change the meaning of the line i won't include it because that would take me years (for example, the book says "light that smoke for giving up on me" and patrick says "yeah, one for giving up on me" but literally who cares that changes nothing. everything i include here is relevant, i think)

follow-up disclaimer that there are a bunch of fucking typos in every single one of these books because these boys never proofread anything but unless i think it's significant in some way i probably will skip it

TAKE THIS TO YOUR GRAVE:

tell that mick:

"I hope you choke on those words, that kiss, that bottle - I confess / now ash yourself out on the insides, when I said I loved you I swear I lied"

grand theft autumn:

"someday i'll appreciate in value, get off my ass and call you... but for the meantime i'll sport my brand new fashion of waking up with my clothes on at 4:00 in the afternoon"

saturday:

"pete and i said goodbye to astoria with promise and precision and mess of youthful innocence"

(most of these are just silly but this one fucking hurts)

sending postcards:

"fake it like you matter - cause that's the biggest secret you have to keep"

chicago is so two years ago:

"that means that I believed every single lie you said (and learned from the best)"

"cause every pain of glass that your pebbles tap negates the pains i went through to avoid you / and every little pat on the shoulder for attention fails to mention i still hate you" (pain of glass instead of pane of glass - i think this is supposed to be a parallel. that or pete just misspelled pane)

patron saint:

"I'm holding out and I'm holding on to every letter and every grudge"

*flashes forward 20 years to hmlag*

anyway

FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE:

our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn't get sued:

"we're good friends only when you're on your knees"

sugar:

the icon, the legend

"don't mind me, i'm watching you two from the closet wishing to be the friction in his jeans" 🎉🏳️‍🌈

dark alley:

"joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of 'just friends'"

"I'm hopelessly hopeful that you're just hopeless enough"

champagne for my real friends, real pain for my shrimp friends:

"you steer away in a rearview mirror, make my head swim"

i slept with someone in fob:

"someone old, no one new / always borrowed, always you"

THIS ONE!! THIS FUCKING ONE [CAR CRASH] [SIRENS]

ahem. anyway

sixteen candles:

"i confess, i'm just messed up / dropping 'i'm sorrys' like you're still around"

XO:

"to hands"

(that's it. no "between legs, and whatever it takes" just hands. just fuckin. to hands)

"to hotel stares/stairs" (wordplay!! to clarify it literally says "stares/stairs" in the book)

"choose awe or sympathy"

also in the last verse it says 'to the "love"' with the quotes which is just kinda funny

INFINITY ON HIGH:

this ain't a scene:

"crashing not like hips or hearts"

i'm like a lawyer:

"i only keep myself this sick in the head cause i know how the words get you (off)"

"collect the bad habits that you couldn't bare to keep" (idk this one might just be a typo)

hum hallelujah:

similarly, this might also be a typo, but "versus" is spelled "verses"

(after) life:

ok. ok. hear me out. this is the cornplatiest i have ever been. but on genius it says "death's in a double bed"

and on the lyric book it says "deaths in a double bed"

that changes everything!!! (not really, i know) it's not death as a concept or figure or whatever it's deaths. as in multiple people dying. aaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaughhhhhhhhhhh

moving on

carpal tunnel:

"we take the sip from life's lush lips"

the line "we might've started singing just a little soon" isn't listed, it's just the goodbye line twice

"but i'm just tired yawns for fawns"

you're crashing:

"the cause, the kid, the charm, and the curse"

ginasfs:

"lips pressed this close to mine"

"but the prince of this failing empire knows" (hhhnnnggggggghhh)

"i've already given up on myself once but the third time is the charm" that's not how numbers work pete <3

"just kind of figured on not figuring myself out"

FOLIE A DEUX:

folie a deux doesn't have a lyric book. just portraits of the boys with empty white pages that have their names written on them. my poor beautiful masterpiece

BELIEVERS NEVER DIE VOL. 1:

fnowae:

not a lyric but for some reason the whole fuckin song is in quotes

SAVE ROCK AND ROLL:

the phoenix:

another punctuation thing but instead of "hope to die" it's "hope-to-dies"

"you're wearing our vintage misery"

alone together:

"my heart is like a stallion, they love it more when it's broke in" instead of "broken" (i love double meanings!! i love wordplay!! i love pete wentz!!)

where did the party go:

"i will appear to you if you make yourself shake fast enough"

the mighty fall:

the lyric book straight up doesn't have big sean's part 💔

rat a tat:

at the end there's this "talk less / mean more / let's be electric / like we were before" that i have literally never heard so i'm assuming it's a neat little cut lyric

save rock and roll:

"i will save the songs / the songs we're singing"

AMERICAN BEAUTY / AMERICAN PSYCHO:

irresistible:

"coming in announced" this one. this one's just a typo. come on boys it's been 12 years at this point read the books more than once

"i just dragged my nails on the tile / i just follow your scent" ?? idk

"this will not be a battle"

ab/ap:

for some fucking reason it just says "she's an american beauty" three times at the start of the song 😭

"and as we're drifting off to sleep" isn't in there, it just says "and all those dirty thoughts of me, they were never yours to keep"

the kids aren't alright:

indulge me once more, reader. i am cornplating again

instead of "former heroes who quit too late and just wanna fill up their trophy case again" it's "wanted to" do you understand why that makes me insane

also they have it as "will put your curse in reverse" instead of "we" which could be a typo but could also be a neat little change

uma thurman:

"you cut me deep like uma thurman"

jet pack blues:

"i'm the kind that can turn june to september / the last one that you'll ever remember"

"between these two white highway signs"

immortals:

"i try to picture you without me but i can't"

M A N I A:

hold me tight or don't:

the line "i'm pretty sure that this isn't how our story ends" isn't included

wilson:

"i know it's just a number but to me you're the 8th wonder"

sunshine riptide:

they didn't include any of burna boy's lines 😒

SO MUCH (FOR) STARDUST:

smfs doesn't have any lyric changes that i noticed, just the usual typos.

update: future emma here, upon further contemplation I have decided to add the line "I'd never go, I just want to be invited" since the first verse definitely says "I'll" (thank you sugarweregoinin and foliejpg for inspiring this revelation)

and there we have it! if you're insane patient enough to have made it until the end, thank you for reading and i hope you enjoyed! if there are any i missed/any in CDs that i don't have please let me know i find these so fascinating (if you couldn't tell). i just love getting glimpses into their writing process and seeing how the songs we know and love evolve before they get to us. i might also do a post about how spotify/genius gets a bunch of their lyrics wrong because it pisses me off but this is all for now, good day/night!