#i hope there is one other person on the planet who can appreciate the mental image of

[the-girl-who-didnt-smile]

Alastor Rips Apart His Grandmother's Soul

[teojira]

[Dance with The Devil] [movie!Shadow x reader headcanons]

Summary: a collection of random headcanons/small scenarios based on my "Click Click Boom" post for Shadow!

Word count: 1.5k

Disclaimer (1): Harkness scale people, he is of age and can consent and is sentient. I'm allowed to want to kiss the hedgehog.

Disclaimer (2): This can be read as Romantic or Platonic! Though I did write it to be implied romance.

A/N: Yall asked for more, who am I to deny the people (I imagine kissing him every second of the day). I tried to hit a lot of asks all in one to give eveyrone what they asked for! I hope y'all enjoy! Reblogs and comments are super appreciated and motivate me to write more <3

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Shadow is so extremely overprotective of you, borderline to an unhealthy agree but is it really when you're welcoming to it??

You, by all means, shouldn't encourage him. He's one of the strongest beings on the planet. He can't just make threats, God knows if he'll act out on them.

You can't help but let it happen though, a warm fuzzy feeling deep in your chest clouds your judgment for a few moments. Knowing that Shadow sees you as someone worth protecting, of caring for.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Shadow baring his fangs at Sonic and fucking growling is new though.

"Shadow did you just- did you just fucking growl?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sonic was just trying to hug me dude, relax.'

"He'll get his scent all over you. No."

Shadow turns his back on you, so he misses the blush that overtakes your entire face.

He has an inkling though, if the strangled cry from your throat is any indication.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Riding ! With ! Him !!! He takes you on drives all the time, it helps him clear his head and it's his way of asking for physical contact without giving you idea, feeling you against his back and your body pressed up against his does wonder for his mental health, he'll purposefully take longer routes and side roads at night to keep you close.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

If you fall asleep on the couch, Shadow isn't gonna curl up with you, but he's next to the couch, head propped up against the arm rest as he watches over you. He's well aware he could just teleport you both to your room, but you look too peaceful :( and he knows he takes up all your time and energy, so he rather let you rest.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Shadow always walks behind you. It's a nervous habit. If he wanders behind, he has the perfect view to scan for threats.

You go to tell him he's being paranoid, but stop yourself. The last person he cared for died, the girl who gave him a purpose. You shut your joke down fast, shaking your head when Shadow raises an eye bridge at your expression.

"Do you want to hold my hand?" You go with that instead.

"Absolutely not."

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Please god can you imagine shopping for him, getting his leather jackets and what not bc he fucking deserves it, especially when you nervously claim that he needs the correct gear for riding his motorcycle and he hits you with:

"That's useless, I can easily chaos control if need be."

BUT HE DOESN'T RIDE WITHOUT IT EVER !!!! You even got it monogrammed, and he runs his thumb across it often, scoffing at himself when he realizes, snatching his hand away.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Shadow likes to be useful, even though you tell him again and again that he doesn't owe you anything, he doesn't listen.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

If you wear makeup and ever fall asleep in it, you can't ever seem to remember if it was you who took it off, your memories jumbling up together to the point you're not sure.

It was Shadow, he knows you don't like showing others your bare face, which he thinks is ridiculous as shit, he likes you as you are, whether with makeup or bare, you're you.

Please I could cry imagining him so gently taking a makeup wipe and rubbing small circles to get that waterproof eyeliner off of you, eyes laser focused into his task. I'm gonna throw up.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

In the colder months, he's susceptible to being more mellow and relaxed. Despite being the ultimate life form and having fur, he still gets cold and hates the feeling.

This brings me to the fact that bro steals your blankets, he has no remorse and will walk right into your room to take your heated blanket. He's an asshole.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Fully believes that nicknames are stupid and that they don't matter, the best he's gonna do for you is call you by your first Intial (ex: Teddy = T) It's rare that he'll do call you by it regardless, but beggers cannot be choosers.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Getting matching bangles to match his inhibitor rings!! Makes him go stupid for a second, brain computing that oh??? You want to match him?? He's gonna tease you, but when you threaten to just take them off, he immediately goes quiet.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

The subject of being sick came up often in asks, and he struggles really hard with it. It's not obvious, but if you look closely, his quills are pin straight, and he's easily more agitated.

He's not mad at you, it's not your fault, it's just that seeing you curl up into bed brings back so many bad memories of when Maria has flare ups and couldn't leave her bed.

It made him feel useless. His whole reason for being was to help cure illness, maybe not the common cold. He's aware of that, but the point remains.

Shadow gets more docile, even going to ask Maddie what to do. The woman offers to come over and take care of you instead, but Shadow shuts her down quickly. He's more than capable, and he's a little overprotective.

"Are you sure? I don't mind, I don't have anything going on."

"That isn't necessary."

"But it might be better if it's m-"

"I can take care of them."

It's hard to argue with a 5ft hedgehog that can easily snap your neck, so she regents and hands him over some cold and flu medicine along with painkillers and vaporub and instructions. He looks so silly with all of it in his arms, Gatorade, water, the medicine, some food, but it warms your heart. You haven't had anyone really look after you when you were sick, always left to fend for yourself, so it's nice.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

For my period havers, I am on mine, so this made it in:

Shadow using his hands as personal heating pads for your stomach or the small of your back, you can't seem to remember where you put your heating pad so he sits there with you and just, shoves his hand onto your skin, it's added comfort due to his fur.

"Oh my god, that feels good."

You groan into your pillow, curling up into a ball, your back facing the ultimate lifeform.

"Is it really that bad?"

Shadow hums, moving to ever so slightly knead the skin, smirking to himself when you damn near moan at the feeling.

"You know damn fucking well it's that bad."

Shadow snorts.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Once you're both closer, he allows you to touch him alot more, so long as you ask him first if you can run your fingers over his quills, he finds it soothing, it's common to find you both on the couch, fast asleep together with the TV set to come true crime YouTube video.

Sonic takes a million pictures, to which he sends to Shadow later. The black hedgehog doesn't say anything, but he secretly saves each one.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Speaking of the others, you try and force him to spend time with team Sonic to varying degrees of success. Mainly the success being if you will also be there and be by his side. The team likes you well enough, always playfully telling you that they can handle Shadow if he ever hurts you.

Which gets them Shadow staring them down, his eyes lighting up as a warning.

You'd think they'd learn that this man doesn't play when it comes to you, but they're a bit stupid.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

When it comes to any insecurities you may have, he shuts that shit down IMMEDIATELY, you think it's because he genuinely doesn't give a fuck, but no, it's because he cares about you and will logically tell you facts. Does it help? It's varying, but he still tries.

Issue with your weight. He doesn't care. Are you healthy? That's all that matters. He's strong enough to lift you up, and he'll demonstrate it on you if need be. He doesn't know who put it into your head that there's any issue with it, but he'll fix it.

"Shadow, can I ask you something?"

"Go on."

"Does my weight ever bother you?"

"I am not like human men."

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

You're insecure about talking about your interests/hyperfixations? He actively will sit down and listen, eyes intense as he takes in every single word you're saying. He'll nod and hum, but his ears are flicked towards you, and Shadow will ask questions pertaining about the characters.

The motherfucker is healing you slowly but surely, mentally and sometimes physically.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

No one thinks that Shadow would be a good companion and will make jokes offhandily that they're sorry that YOU'RE stuck with him, and you don't correct them. They don't deserve to know him.

They don't get to know how the lifeform curls up next to you on his bad days, seeking your affection.

The hedgehog who helps you dry the dishes after every meal with a way too focused look on his face.

The Shadow that always cracks dry ass jokes in hopes to make you smile after a long day.

It's your little secret, and it's one you gladly keep to yourself.

"Oh, he's stuck with me." You wave them off with a smug smirk on your face.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

[jujusjunk]

Hi, teenage Israeli Jewish girl from Jerusalesm here, and I’m just looking for a conversation.

So I was looking from some of your posts after seeing your blog on ms. Homochad’s page, and while it seems you’ve grown, some of what you still have said makes me and possibly other Israelis uncomfortable.

Such as saying “isnotrael” or just putting quotations around Israel is general. To me and other Israelis it feels very demeaning, like putting quotations around Palestine, it’s very dehumanizing and very disrespectful.

Not granted it seems that you have grown, and maybe I have been radicalized myself but I feel like everywhere I go I am faced with the fact that everyone who wants to dehumanize me, and even while you might not (now) you’re followers, and earlier just reek of “Israel doesn’t and hasn’t ever existed,” or “Israelis are genociders.” Like I said maybe I have been radicalized myself, it’s just everywhere I go I feel like no one understands me besides other Israelis, though it is refreshing to hear an actual Palestinian voice.

(And this is a little off topic but a couple months earlier that you had posted a meme about “ashke - nazis,” and while you might not feel that way now, I hope you can understand how it is offensive. Especially since Ashkenazi Jews were the most targeted during the Shoah.)

(Also sorry about the death threats.) 

Ok hi, im a Palestinian teenager who’s currently in Lebanon and is still on a very long road towards deradicalizing and trying to be a better version of myself.

I know it makes you uncomfortable, at the time that was the point. I still haven’t really gone through my account for a few reasons, first being I have over 3000 posts I think. Second being I am still not mentally prepared for that but maybe soon enough I will.

I do want to apologize tho, sincerely. The environment I was raised in really would appreciate everything in my old posts just so you can get a glimpse into what I was raised around. I’ve been around this my whole entire life so it really isn’t an easy process to even think about peace with people who have been villains in my eyes for my whole life.

“Isnotreal” is actually something that’s said in Arabic rather than English and it really is just a part of the dialect. Obviously it’s said on purpose but it’s used more than Israel is. So truly it’s more of what I’m used to but I’m working on it.

You have to understand that I can’t and won’t change overnight that’s impossible. And some of my opinions stand solid even though people might not agree with them. And people need to accept that because we are also affected by this.

I am just as much offended by Israelis who sweep Palestinian death under the rug (I know not everyone does and I hold so much respect especially for leftists who actually fight for Palestine and for peace and coexistence). Before I never would have even thought of changing my opinions because of the treatment I received online from Israelis themselves. But I’ve changed.

I’ve always been a peace oriented person until it came to Palestine but I’m working on it and I do believe in peace and I believe in blaming and punishing both sides. But I get to criticize my side and you get to criticize yours. I know how to criticize Palestine without undermining them, without being rude and hurtful. I’ve learned how to criticize Israel without being antisemitic but I still believe that Israelis are better at that than me or in fact anyone on the planet.

I don’t expect to understand you just like how I don’t expect you to understand me and that’s normal and it’s ok and it can be worked out and we can work towards understanding each other that’s ok. We can’t be expected to agree on everything and for life to suddenly turn into rainbows and butterflies. We are going to disagree 100% and we are both going to have a right to hold those opinions and they are both going to be correct and we have to accept that. What’s important is that even when we disagree we are not undermining. I am not decreasing in your value neither are you in mine. We are both human being who have been through horrible things that never should have happened we have each others side to blame.

I still respect you as a human, I don’t blame you for your government, I don’t expect anything of you that I don’t expect of myself and that’s the truth.

IM GONNA ADD THIS AND I HOPE ANON SEES IT

Please feel free to send me as many anons as you wish and ask many questions and start as many conversations as you want. I am very open to having a convo with you and I was so scared that my tone came off as passive aggressive but I swear to you I meant it with the wholeness of my heart. (I was thinking in Arabic and writing in English which is why it might sound a bit weird) I would genuinely love to have a conversation because you genuinely seem like a really nice person🫶🏼

[itsdeniini]

HEEJAY TURN ONS AND TURN OFFS

- a tarot reading ☆ JAKEHOON EDITION

ᰔᩚ n ! O te: i am a self-taught tarot reader, and the interpretations i provide are personal. if anyone would like to share their own insights, i would be more than happy to hear them! please be kind <3

HEESEUNG ᥫ᭡

TURN ONS

1. His primary love language is acts of service, so he feels most loved and valued when his partner takes the initiative to perform a thoughtful act of service that they discovered by actively listening or observing him, especially in situations where the act makes his day easier. This gesture fills him with a desire to give all the throat hugs to this person.

2. He will also get turned on by someone who know how to use their power. Ones that can make him feel so unworthy of them and insignificant (all that in a moment of lust) that Heeseung feels thankful for the chance to even touch them. What's sexy to him about worshipping is power.

3. Having someone who actually plans dates instead of the usual "you pick, no you pick" game. That's a big turn-on for him. It shows they're not just going through the motions. They're putting in the effort to make their time together special. It's like, "Hey, I care about this enough to think it through, to plan something we'll both enjoy."

TURN OFFS

1. Inconsistent attention and affection turn him off. He doesn't stay in situations like that; he moves on. He gets turned on by consistent attention and affection, and by a partner who loves him so much that they go out of their way to show they care. Someone will never have him if they are inconsistent with him.

2. For someone as genuine as Heeseung, dishonesty might be a major turn-off. Sincerity and authenticity seem to be integral parts of his personality, making deceit a stark contrast to his nature. Additionally, a lack of respect could easily sour his impression, as Heeseung values kindness and mutual respect in his interactions.

3. ARROGANCE. His humble demeanor and down-to-earth attitude suggest that he appreciates humility and modesty in others. Someone who displays arrogance or a sense of superiority might find it difficult to connect with him on a deeper level. He refuses to spend any “real” time on people whose pompous attitude and hate is simply a poison on this planet. He would think that they are so wrapped up in their angry rightfullness that they can’t feel the pickle up their rear.

JAY ᥫ᭡

TURN ONS

1. Physical touch. That's the most obvious thing EVER when it comes to him. He would find it enjoyable to stimulate blood flow through scratching, warming up the skin, easing back pain, and increasing sensitivity to physical touch. This all appears to be a feasible approach, as he rarely takes no as a response when he genuinely craves to get what's his.

2. You know what's a major turn-on for Jay? A person who's passionate about something other than work. Tell him about your odd hobbies, your hidden abilities, the things that light you up. Passion is infectious for him. He'd yap about his interests 24/7, hoping that his partner would do the same.

3. Someone with a good hygiene routine is such a turn-on for Jay. Watching them come out of the shower, skin still wet, towel wrapped around the waist, getting themselves moisturized and smelling divine, drives him nuts. Just sitting there monitoring them is kind of a fetish for him.

TURN OFFS

1. He hates closed-mindness. (especially if that's with the goal to project confusion on open minded people) He considers himself a open-minded guy and he SEE’S ALL and is able to connect dots, you would never sneak something behind his back. He'll find out about it anyway and will get mad MAD. He believes that closed-minded individuals restrict their thinking by focusing only on what they want to see, lacking the mental fortitude and bravery to explore beyond.

2. As time passes, he becomes increasingly irritated, frustrated, and disinterested in people who only talk without taking action or following through on their intentions. He's finding himself drawn to individuals who are more aligned with his mindset, which feels refreshing.

3. Overall he gets bored by people so easily. Sometimes all it takes is one wrong comment and he's done wholly with that person. He's sad and thinks he should do better in that aspect, because that may be the cause why new connections are burdensome and puts him on a massive off.

[loveemagicpeace]

Jupiter & Neptune vibes

🧚🏼‍♀️Jupiter-venus aspects are often the reason for romantic relationships. This aspect can also bring a lot of luck in love or in relationships in general. You can manifest someone faster.

🎨Neptune trine venus- can mean that you are more dreamy and that you dream a lot about people and romantic relationships. You never stop believing in love even after being disappointed. You love and surrender to love again and again.

🧸Neptune in 7th house you can dream a lot about a relationship. It also brings a deep mental connection between two partners and great intuition coupled with empathy. You can have strong intuition. But Neptune can also give you a false illusion of relationships. You believe in a relationship that may not exist, or you fall in love with a person and you don't see their bad qualities. You can be naive in relationships. So you have to be careful with every person u meet. With neptune here you can’t see the bad things about your other half. You can be too self-sacrificing.

🎑Jupiter in 9th house brings you a lot of luck when it comes to travel. You can travel a lot of the world and learn a lot. At the same time, you can find a spiritual path that is very beautiful. You find yourself through parts of the places you get to know.

💘Neptune in 9th house you particularly enjoy places near water. Travel is often a source of creative inspiration in your life. Neptune often makes you interested in different religions. You find these religions and philosophies inspiring and they help you be more open-minded. You often seek connection with the universe by using alcohol or drugs. You find love in music, art, a fantasy world.

🌊Jupiter trine Neptune -makes you an optimistic, generous, and spiritual person. You are on a spiritual journey this life to understand and be at one with god. You can be idealistic and still be materially successful. You are a romantic with magnetic attractiveness that gives you a glamorous aura.

🩰Jupiter in 12th house represents travel to Isolated places, foreign lands, spirituality, guidance, debt, bankruptcy, expansion and enmity. The native of Jupiter in the twelfth house loses his identity of the materialistic world and finds peace in the spiritual world.

🫧People with sagittarius placements know how to enjoy life. They love to travel and explore the world. And they will always know how to find things in which they will feel alive. They are the people who will know how to enrich your life and you will grow with them. They believe in moments and in life itself. They like passion.

☔️People with pisces placements will know all your emotions and will love you for all that you are. They will love your emotions. Pisces appreciate emotions and when someone shows them it is the most beautiful thing for them, because then they feel that they are not alone in this.

🌅I think sagittarius and pisces go well together because both signs have spirituality in them. They both dream of life and love the bright side of life. They can bond together nicely.

🎸Jupiter is the planet of wisdom, growth, travel, the world, finding yourself in the world and finding your way, finding faith, having hope, finding optimism and happiness. Jupiter helps you believe in yourself when you need it most. It shows you how to be alive and live in the moment.

🌊Neptune is the planet of dreams, fantasy, dream world, underwater world, ocean, spiritual places, magic, love that is hidden, unseen things. The presence of Neptune gives you a source of imagination, where do you go when you want to escape from reality. It shows you that dreams are possible if you believe in them enough.

-Rebekah🎨🎸🫧

[sadnightforus]

SACRED PLACE  (SES) 

boyfriend!eunseok x gn!reader 

SYNOPSIS: The sun is setting and you know it’s childish that you want to keep holding onto this moment for forever, because you know his heart will never be yours. 

WORD COUNT: 2.2K 

WARNINGS: unreliable narrator first of all (for clarification), emotional lololol but which sadnightforus’ work isn’t, occasional pet names, insecurities and so much confusion. I promised eunseok loves reader but they are wrapped up in their head okay. inferiority complex is strong, do not yell at me. 

A/N: I wrote this one in the morning cause I’m cranky and i like miss carly rae jepsen. slightly inspired by bends by her. this is not self-indulgent fun fact, her music just got me acting up that’s all 

reblogs, comments and likes are appreciated! 

5:39 PM. 

 The sun begins to set, as you can see from the corner of your eyes. If you turn around, you’ll be met with a breathtaking view of the sky sinking and reflecting its light onto the ocean water. 

 But you don’t want to. 

 You don’t deserve to see it. Pretty things like that will disappear and they’ll never stay. 

 You and your boyfriend are laying on your back on the beach, legs tangling with one another as you often look to your right and sometimes the left, yet, never the front. 

“Baby?” 

 His gentle voice calls out to you, reminding you that he’s still here. 

“Yeah? I zoned out, I’m sorry.” You rush to apologize as you quickly retrieve your attention back to the man near you. 

“It’s okay. What are you thinking about, hmm?” He asks, his fingers now making their ways into your hair as you let your thoughts roaming wild, eyes shooting up to the orange hue of the once blue sky that will be soon decorated by the warm embrace of the darkness in just a few more hours. 

“Not anything that interesting that interesting.” You give him a small smile, reassuring him that he shouldn’t be worried about your long train of thoughts that seem to be involved in the picture of him and you. “Just think about how pretty you are.” 

 And you never lie about this matter.

 He’s extraordinary, you’re nothing special in comparison. He has always been showered in compliments for his out of world, sharp yet such a masculine look, and he knows it too. You’re just a person who exists and you’re not sure what’s the purpose behind why you exist. You personally think only people who have star power like Eunseok should be the one to stay on this earth, to show how beautiful life can be. 

 You’ve seen his exes, they are all beautiful. You can’t compare because why would you compare goddesses to a person that never radiates a sense of mystery or intrigued others’ interests? You’d think they’ll be so embarrassed to be compared to someone like you.

 Even if he tells you that you’re the prettiest person on the planet, you don’t believe him. How could you when you’re a plain jane, while he is the most beautiful boy you’ve ever met anyway?

“Funny, I think about how pretty you are too.” He chuckles, his eyes has a bright sparkle that you only wish to be able to witness this close. You hope you don’t lose this privilege any time soon.

“Umm hmm.” You hum, pretending to agree with his statement. “But you’re like the beach waves that are steadily rolling. You’re just so comforting.”

 My beach boy, my comfort boy, something you wanted to say but hold yourself back from doing so.

 He’s just one of a kind. 

 Every time you’re sad, you often go to the beach. It’s something you’ve been doing since you were a kid. You’re still an adult and you feel a bit childish that you’d still go to stare at the ocean waves rolling, but right now, it does nothing more than being a poison to your mental health ever since you let a pretty boy with strong features of the name Song Eunseok invades the space of your loneliness. And you begin to associate him to every little thing that you used to like. 

 Just like right now, you’re thinking that he is truly reminiscent of the fresh air that washes over the both of you, with the heart in the sand that you used to draw for him whenever you both get here. 

 He has your heart, but does he know that? Does he care that you’ll be willing to do anything for him? 

 Probably not. You’re happy to keep that thought hidden from him. 

“Don’t think so.” He chuckles. “You know what I think of when I see you? I think of you as the sunset that people will never get tired of seeing.” 

 You’re gloomy, how could he sees you as the sun of his life? Or in his eyes for that matters, even worthy of his attention?

 You can’t comprehend it. 

 He’s so much better than you in every aspect. You think that he should’ve been with someone who is on the same level as him, not someone who has nothing like you. 

 You never know what love is, until you meet him. In school, there was no one who had ever shown their interest in you, but you supposed that it’s better than to be heartbroken at the realization that the love someone gave to you was merely because of a bet. 

 You always kept your head down, afraid to meet people’s eyes. You’re timid, meek and shy because you never feel like you fit in. Even the people in your family, they’re all charismatic and charming, except for you who is not at all an interesting character to think about when they ask about your family. 

 You think you're a pretty forgettable person to others. 

“That’s you.” Your eyes lock onto his face, observing how a person can be this beautiful. God indeed has favorites, and your boyfriend is one of them. “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve seen. You’re as beautiful as the sun that shines during winter, to keep someone warm.” 

 It’s true, you’ve always felt like the walking embodiment of overwhelming loneliness since birth. And Eunseok is your sun who provides warmth into this stoic, cold life of yours. 

 For the first time, you are able to see the world in more than just two colors that you’re so used to being familiar with, black and white. You see a variety of colors in its glory with his love, but you’re not sure if his love is out of obligation or not. 

 You begin to love yellow, aside from chronomatic colors that have been your favorite colors growing up. It’s because it reminds you of Eunseok. He is nothing but sunshine, the brightest star that shines amongst the crowd of people like you. 

 You remember that you didn’t particularly like yellow as much when you were younger. You didn’t feel like it suits you— it belongs to happy people, special people like Eunseok. You wonder, how could someone born and carry something special since birth already? Was it made or was it a practice to enhance the exquisite god given gift? 

 You sometimes resent god for making you a boring person with no drive and easily moldable into whatever they want you to be, instead of being distinctive. 

 You want to be special, heck even feel special, just for a minute like him too. 

 What does that feel like? 

 It probably feels nice, being loved for simply who you are. 

“I know you said I’m like the beach waves, but personally, you’re like the ocean. You’re unpredictable, but very calm, beautiful and breathtaking.” He maintains eye contact with you. “You really remind me of the color blue. You have a kind of depth to you that people would love to write about.” 

 What is he talking about? 

 Oh right, you remind him of the color blue? 

 You know about the association of the color blue and melancholia. You know it means sadness. 

 Is that how he perceives you? 

 Truthfully, you think that people aren’t blind to the fact you look down all the time. You radiate off the 'damsel in distress’ vibe and you’ve been told to brighten up more. You even had people approaching you and willing to listen to your stories because you just looked so troubled and you might need a hand or a shoulder to cry on in case you had no one. 

 You think these kinds of things only happen to pathetic people like you. You personally don’t know someone who is alike to you at all. 

 You have so much to say, but in the end, it’ll all boil down to you being lonely and miserable. 

 You always feel so blue, can he feel it too? 

 Why can’t you be happy? 

“You always say these things.” You try to avoid saying that you don’t believe it, because it’ll show that you don’t believe in yourself as much as he always told you that he has always been so amazed by him. “I see myself as a dessert.” 

“Whatever you say, cutie.” He shakes his head. “But in my opinion, if you’re a dessert, then I’d rather die of dehydration just to be close to you.”

 You know that it’s supposed to be a compliment, but you don’t feel like it. No matter how much he tries to flatter you, you don;t ever feel like those compliments ever get through your head and soak into your brain.

 You’re not enough.

 And you know that he’s too good for you. 

 You believe that you’re truly a dessert, there’s nothing that excites people about you. You’re just someone who is meant to be in the background, not someone in front of the camera, not someone who attracts attention from the others. If people stay around you long enough, they’ll get a thirst to seek for someone who can fulfill their excitement in being adventurous and interesting as well as striking, something you lack.

 And if you’re the ocean, you’d kill people with the tsunami of your overwhelming blue-esque. Nobody should put up with you, but he does. You don’t understand why he stays around with the way you’re like an unpredictable ocean wave that could make others fear for their life.

“Baby?” He mutters out softly, seeing you losing yourself in your train of thoughts. “Let’s get up. It’s getting dark. I want to walk around this beach with you.”

 You don’t notice that the sun has been long gone and has been replaced by the moon now, but you supposed that you’ve always been quite a daydreamer. You’re flustered however, as you sit up, using the support from one of your arms before you can stand up, then you dust all the sand that attaches itself onto your clothes.

“Let’s go.” He smiles at you, and for a moment, your sadness vanishes like the air that brushes itself all the way from thousands of miles away to softly blow his hair, making him look almost so dream-like.

 You think you’re so special that you’re the only person whose person he directs this smile at. And you’re the cause of his happiness just as much as he is with yours.

 He takes a slow step, you follow along. He takes your hand in his, then grip it tightly, like a sweet cotton that is inseparable that never wants to let go.

 You see some shops start lightening up their place, as you’re visiting a tourist attraction. However, you can’t help but feel like it’s just the ghost of Eunseok who talks to you. And you might be seen as crazy for holding onto an imaginary man.

 Then you’re back to being sad again.

 Because no matter how real he is, you feel like you’re holding onto a version of a man that doesn’t exist at all, or a version of a person who you might’ve made up in your head.

 What if he doesn't love you as much as you do with him? 

 It’s funny that you’re probably in an unrequited love in this relationship, maybe.

 You know about the kind of love that people all shared throughout their lives. However, you can’t be too sure about the feelings that he has been upholding for you.

“I love you.” His eyes land directly into yours, gazing deep into your soul, as if he tries to read you.

 You suddenly feel terrible for your earlier thoughts and equally as self conscious.

 And you almost wanted to cry.

“I love you too.” You say, eyes almost brimming with tears and it takes you a crazy level of self amount to not break down in front of him.

 And you mean it. You mean every single word that you respond back to him. 

 This beach is your sacred place. You introduce him to this place because you make a room for a boy named Song Eunseok in your heart, a place that is just as sacred as this place you’re standing at. It’s very vulnerable and you’d hate it if he walks out with your heart in his hand, squeezing it until it explodes and bleeds uncontrollable and the memories of the beach waves rolling as you both walk by the shore, admiring the view under this moonlight. 

 This love itself is very sacred too, and you hope that he’ll continue to love you for a long time as much as you love him. 

 Because you know that there’s no other room for any man who comes after him anymore.

COPYRIGHTED BY SADNIGHTFORUS, 2024

[moonspirit]

Now that u have answered Annie’s sister in law, we need Armins siblings in law (so Pieck and Reiner)

Maldonado as a side note Annie is Pieck’s younger sister, but she is also Reiner’s older brother. Idk why but that’s just how it is based on dynamics.

Hi anon!

Hahah xD Oh Reiner and Pieck.

Tbh post-canon I really enjoy thinking about these two sets of relationships: Jean-Annie-Connie and Pieck-Armin-Reiner. Each half of Aruani sandwiched between two people from the side opposite to which they once belonged.

Anyway. I said it in some set of tags recently, but I love the potential of the bond Reiner and Armin could share post-rumbling. They're both similar in the respect that they have some self-hatred (though the root-causes are a bit different). This self-hatred, if shared, is something they'd understand. Reiner fought the very essence of life (the hallucinogenia) to help humanity live despite yearning for death himself. After the battle, his mental health is a goner; the guilt of everything that happened right from his birth to the present is extremely heavy to bear alone. If he was at rock bottom before, well now he's below any visible surface lol. Armin isn't too different from him then; he's just as shattered, guilt-ridden and debating his right to exist - but the hope that's inside him is a very, very hard thing to kill. It's because of that hope that the battle could end at all, and even if Eren's death and the loss of much of humanity is a planet-sized sin for him to carry, he's still hopeful, he's still a dreamer, he still sees the beauty in life.

Armin has the potential to lead the way in both his and Reiner's paths to healing. And Reiner, ever the protective big brother, will be unable to hide his genuine care and concern for Armin's well being and safety throughout their political work. The two go on long walks, hands in their pockets, talking about the past and future and everything in between; they play plenty of chess; they pore over maps of the remaining world; they rely on each other to pick the other up when the bouts of guilt overwhelm them.

Pieck now, is very very interesting. Not only is she the sole outsider in the Ambassador group, but she's also the one person who carries no good memories nor much empathy for Eren. She's every bit grounded in reality as Armin cannot help but dream. Initially, I think she'd find Armin's optimism and hope quite naive and delusional; after all she's always been aware of the cruel truth of their existence and the Eldian race's place in the world. Moreover, Armin's bond with Eren puzzles her - she can see that Armin is not a bad person; far from it in fact, he's reasonable, empathetic, careful and strategic. How could it ever have been possible that someone like him and Eren used to be inseparable friends? Over time though as Armin confides in her more about his and Eren's friendship, she learns to appreciate the bittersweetness of two boys who were each the other side of the very same coin.

Pieck and Armin, I hc, share a love for music and gadgets. They are both incredibly smart and this makes it very easy for them to fall into place as a very strong political team. They plan, they strategize, they discuss methods and tools and issues in their way. Armin values Pieck's level-headed approach to viewing and solving problems, while she appreciates his innovative ideas, tact, and careful consideration in minimizing damage. They enjoy conversations, they buy each other music records to play on the gramophone, and while Pieck helps Armin see the things he misses when he's lost in dreams, Armin helps Pieck feel welcome and like family, in their gang of six.

(Bonus: Reiner's always prattling on to Armin about how he's so glad his "little sister Annie" is happy with Armin, while Pieck annoys him to no end by never missing a chance to point out what an adorable simp he is lmao)

[thee-achilles]

GUSTAV MAHLER: A PARTIAL NATAL CHART ANALYSIS (HOUSES 1-6)

🧿DO NOT STEAL MY WORK OR KARMA WILL FIND YOU.🧿

hey guys :) i was searching through my old projects and i found this! i did this analysis for a creative project in order to get my position as drum major. if it seems too over-explanatory, it’s because i was describing all of this to people who didn’t know anything about astrology. also, this was written like a year ago, so my knowledge on astrology and placements has definitely expanded since then. if anything seems “out-of-date,” that’s why. either way. i hope y’all enjoy!! i had a lot of fun making this post to share this analysis with you all!! :) <3 (also i do not know the titles of these paintings. i do know that the middle one is mahler, though! so if anyone can tell me the names and their artists, it would be much appreciated!!!!)

WHO WAS GUSTAV MAHLER?

Gustav Mahler was a composer during the romantic period. He is of Austro-Bohemian decent, and is best known for his 10 symphonies. A fun fact about him is that a the main tune for “Be Our Guest” from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast came from his Symphony No. 3. Like most amazing artists, he didn’t become famous until years after his death. The performance of his music was banned in most of Europe during the era of Nazi rule and later rediscovered by new listeners. Since then, he has become one of the most recreated composers and has since kept this position going into the 20th century. (source(s): https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gustav_Mahler, https://www.cartoonbrew.com/disney/be-our-guest-and-mahlers-symphony-no-3-54610.html)

INTRODUCTION:

This is Gustav Mahler’s birth chart. He was born on Saturday, July 7, 1860, in Kalischt, Czech Republic at 10:15 p.m. Everything in a chart has an important meaning; from the degree, to the house, to the sign, to the planet. To give a breakdown, the top left of the screen is his birth time information, below that is his planet’s signs and degrees, the tiny chart below that is the elements and modalities in his chart, and the tiny triangle under that are his chart’s aspects. To the right of all of that, is his chart. Each chart has 12 houses. These houses start from the AC, or the ascendant. However, today, I will only be evaluating 6 out of the 12 houses.

As you can see from Mahler’s chart, his ascendant is in Pisces at 9°. His first house also contains his Neptune, which is the planetary ruler of Pisces. From the other charts of talented musicians that I have evaluated, a lot of them seem to have heavy Pisces influence. This even extends to the talented musicians within our own community. (3 of excellent musicians in the band) are all Pisces suns. My brother has multiple planets in Pisces, which forms a stellium in his chart. A stellium is when 3 or more planets are in a sign or when 3 or more planets are in a house. Sometimes, these 3+ planets can ALL reside in the same house, which focuses a ton of energy of that chart towards that house.

STELLIUMS

In reference to stelliums within Mahler’s chart, he has a stellium in Leo which resides in his 6th house. His Venus, Mercury, Saturn, and Jupiter are all in Leo and all reside in his 6H.

However, we will get to what all of that means later. As of right now, I want to break his chart down house by house, planet by planet, sign by sign.

HOUSE 1: THE HOUSE OF SELF

So, let’s start with the first house. As I said before, Mahler has a Pisces ascendant, so his first house is in Pisces. His first house contains his Neptune at 29°. The first house represents how we see ourselves and others’ first impressions of us when they meet us. The planets or sign of this house can ultimately affect our personality, and the 1H is The House of Self.

Neptune is the ruler of illusions and delusions, intuition and dreams, mysticism, the imagination, mental illness, the unknown, and is a major pinpoint of isolation (along with Saturn). This planet is also said to rule celebrities, as they give the public an illusion of what they’re like vs. what they’re actually like. His Neptune is in its house sign of Pisces, so the sign and the planet are in harmony meaning they will act in the same mannerisms. However, his Neptune is at 29°. 29° is the highest degree at which signs in planets can go to, making this a critical degree. 29° emphasizes the energy of the planet and its rulerships and can even signify fame. This degree is ruled by Leo.

Mahler was known, according to Connolly Music, to “suffer from skepticism, nervous tension, and an obsession with death.” The fact that Neptune is so prevalent in his chart is one of the main reasons why he is this way. The themes of Neptune and its critical degree, as you can see, affected his overall personality.

About the unknown and mysticism part of Neptune, Mahler hid from his wife the fact that he was Jewish and even converted to Christianity in order to have a successful conducting career. Alma, Mahler’s wife, was insanely anti-semitic, and never knew he was Jewish for a long time.

About the isolation part of Neptune, Mahler had a composition hut in Austria in which he used to finish his Second and Third Symphony and a few songs from his Des Knaben Wunderhorn. Funnily enough, this hut was positioned by Lake Attersee. Neptune, in Roman mythology, is known as the God of Freshwater and the Sea. Not only did he like to work in seclusion, he also liked to work near a body of water. He was also known as “an avid swimmer and mountain walker.” It’s just very funny for me to see things like this work hand in hand.

HOUSE 2: THE HOUSE OF VALUE

Mahler’s second house is in the sign of Taurus. While it should be in Aries, Mahler has what is called Intercepted Houses. This is when the sign of a house skips or repeats itself. However, this doesn’t mean that Aries does not exist in Mahler’s chart, however all 30 degrees of it is in the 1H. The reason why this happens is because the northern and southern latitudes of the 12 houses are not evenly spaced. This results in a sign being hidden and not easily accessible, though it is still there.

In this case, the house intercepted is in Aries. Aries governs over confidence and passion. It is ruled by Mars. As we can see by the description of Mahler’s personality, he suffered from skepticism and feared the unknown. He was unable to channel that Martian energy in his chart, thus leaving him unconfident.

Moving forward, the second house governs over personal finances, material items, self worth, and inner desires of gain. This house could also express one’s system of values. Mahler has his Pluto in the 2H in Taurus at 9°. Taurus is ruled by Venus and governs over the 2H, so it's right at home here. Pluto is the planet of destruction and transformation. When this is in the house of finances, a lot can go wrong as well as right. In terms of money, this route can take extreme rises as well as extreme falls. The people who have this placement can either be born into humble circumstances or be born into vast wealth. Mahler, of course, was born into humility, and had multiple rises and falls in his income. People with this placement also tend to have a small view on themselves and have a desire for control. This was very evident in the way that Mahler was described.

Since his 2H is in Taurus and intercepted houses are in effect, this means that four of the houses that continue after will be under their traditional sign of rulership. In Mahler’s chart, this is his second, third, eighth, and ninth.

HOUSE 3: THE HOUSE OF COMMUNICATIONS

The third house in Mahler’s chart is in Gemini. The third house rules communication, siblings, early education, perception, and transport. His Uranus resides in this house at 10°. Uranus rules everything eccentric, unpredictable, and creative/scientific brilliance. Having his Uranus in the 3H is a symbol of some kind of genius, though they often struggle in school.

Many reports say that Gustav Mahler was very “unreliable” in his academic school work. In order to fix this, his father had sent him away to the Newtown Gymnasium in Prague. Then, he ended up going to the Vienna Conservatory in order to study music. Here, Mahler’s rebellious flag flew as well, though he graduated. This is a fine example of transportation and struggling in school that Uranus so represents in the 3H.

Another example of his Uranus in the 3H working is that his siblings and their relationship with them weren’t “conventional”. His sister, Justine, had extreme possessiveness over Mahler and even went to extremes to make sure his romances were ruined. This was before he met Alma and told Justine that her behavior couldn’t continue. This encounter ruined Justine’s relationship with her brother. Many of Mahler’s siblings died during his early childhood including his older brother, who would’ve been the oldest of the 14 had he not passed. He also assumed responsibility for all of his surviving siblings after the death of his parents in 1889. This “unusual” responsibility can also be represented by the 10° that Uranus is in. 10° is under the rulership of Capricorn, which is ruled by Saturn. Saturn rules responsibility.

HOUSE 4: THE HOUSE OF HOME

Again, intercepted houses are at play here. Mahler’s fourth house is also in Gemini. There is not a planet in this house, meaning that only the sign is affecting this house. This also means that there is less tension pointed to this house in his chart. The 4H rules family, home, parents (specifically the mother), and the emotional base of our satisfaction.

Since Gemini is in this house, Mahler’s family life and home was constantly changing. This is very evident in his constant moving-about during his early childhood. Gemini in this house can also talk about a specific connection between one parent, though emotions in this sign are often rationalized. Mahler had a strong relationship with his father, who supported him in what would eventually be his career (music). He cared a lot for Mahler to make a stable income and put this first. Funnily enough, the 4H opposes the 10H, the house OF career.

HOUSE 5: THE HOUSE OF PLEASURE

When we talk about the 5H, we usually associate it with pleasure. This pleasure is usually derived from self-expression, creative hobbies, desire, children, and the showing of individuality. This is one of my favorite houses to talk about in astrology and placements here make it all the more interesting. Mahler’s 5H is in Cancer, the sign of emotional/physical well-being and comfort.

Traditionally ruled by Leo, Mahler’s sun in Cancer at 15° is right at home here. To me, the sun shines the brightest here because it’s in its home house. Since it’s the only planet here, it’s definitely giving the most energy.

A great explanation as to how rulership works out in astrology would be how Mahler passed away. The only reason why I bring this up here is because his 5H shows kind of a preview of what he was under before he died.

Mahler found out his heart was defective after his daughter, Maria Anna, died of scarlet fever. The discovery was made immediately after her passing. He was very stressed out beforehand and after her death, expressing his exhaustion was very hard. I believe this took a toll on his health, as he was unable to properly express himself and stress tends to build up in the heart.

He performed his last concert and left for Europe. He then was taken to a sanitarium to be treated. A few days later with no improvement, Mahler passed away. He was buried next to his daughter Anna Maria, as per request, on May 22 with only his name on his tombstone. He said this to be so because “any who come to look for me will know who I was and the rest don’t need to know.”

His death can also be represented in his sixth house, which I will further explain when we get there.

HOUSE 6: THE HOUSE OF HEALTH AND OCCUPATION

Out of all of the 12 houses in astrology, this one is definitely in my top 3 to discuss. The 6H can tell us so much about our potential careers as well as what our health could look like. This house rules health, occuations, and physical limitations. Though this house is traditionally ruled by Virgo, in Mahler’s chart it’s in Leo.

As I said before, Leo rules self-expression. One of the many ways of self-expression is performance. Frankly, if you haven’t noticed, Mahler’s got a lot of Leo in his 6H; he’s got a stellium, so it isn’t exactly surprising that he chose a career where his self most resonated and could be displayed in the public with an artistic flair. He also has his Venus, the planetary ruler of music and all things art, in this house as well at a powerful degree. Venus in his 6H is at 2° . 2° is ruled by Taurus and is often called the degree of power. It’s a very ambitious degree to have and it’s often what we pursue. 2° here under Venus shows that Mahler pursued music and put all of his ambition into it.

Here alongside Venus, are Jupiter, Mercury, and Saturn. Jupiter makes a conjunction to his Venus. Jupiter rules expansion, education, joviality, and abundance. When it is in a positive aspect to Venus, Jupiter enhances and expands Venus’s properties. This is an aspect I see in a lot of musicians as well, so I thought I would mention it here.

Like I said when I was discussing the 5H, there were a lot of factors in the 5H and the 6H that portrayed a preview of what Mahler was under before he passed. Since the 6H rules health, the 6H can tell a lot about the illness that caused Mahler’s death. Like the 5H, there is Leo influence. This again is pointing towards the heart problems that Mahler had with his heart as well as his job as a musician. Whenever my brother told me that Mahler had died of a heart condition, the first thing that caught my eye was his stellium in this house. I told him that it wasn’t surprising considering the huge amount of Leo influence here.

Mahler overexerted himself and then died in a sanitarium. Both of these things are represented by the 6H. When Mahler was on his deathbed, many people went to visit and expressed how much they loved him. Attention is ruled by Leo and Virgo/6H can represent places where health purification takes place. Him also having Saturn here, the planet of long-term effects and karma, indicates that his health issues had a long-term effect on not only him, but the people around him and that his daughter’s death could have been a factor leading to his death as well. All things health related can be pointed to the 6H and I think it is one of the easiest houses to read in astrology.

DEGREES:

Below, I listed some degrees that were indicators of his success and degrees that repeated.

Degrees of Fame and Success within Mahler’s Chart:

Neptune at 29°.

Venus and North Node at 2°.

North Node is our “path” in life and Mahler having this at 2° in Aquarius (ruled by Uranus, planet of eccentricity and community) proved that he was meant to do something that while was different from other people, was still extremely influential. His North Node resides in his twelfth house.

Repeating Degrees:

9°, 21°- Sagittarius Degrees

Sagittarian degrees, like all degrees, add the characteristics of a sign to the body it’s effecting. Sagittarius rules freedom, passion, and intellectuality. Mahler was incredibly passionate about what he wanted to do and he wanted to do it his way. Despite his uncertainty about the people around him and his true identity, he knew he found some sort of comfort in creating and learning about music while having the freedom to do so.

2°- Taurus degrees

2° is the degree of power and has extreme influence. This influence can be used for good or bad, and I’m thankful Mahler used it to elevate his musical career.

CONCLUSION:

I think all of these situations being displayed in Mahler’s chart can show that astrology can have the ability to predict events or tell of events that have already passed. Of course, you still don’t have to believe in everything I said here, I just think it’s neat! I only did 6 out of the 12 houses because this would have been probably 20 or more pages worth of information, and I did not want to make this longer than it already was. Either way, I hope you enjoyed! :)

© thee-achilles 2023

[starastrologyy]

I saw your reply to the person, who dislikes predictive astrology..

What do you think about the solar return chart? (as the sr chart could tell you things that will happen for you during the year of whatever age, you're going to be)

Ex. someone having jupiter in 4h in their solar return chart which indicates moving homes.. (correct me, if i am wrong, thank you)

Is it like things are already planned for us (like i want to move somewhere else really badly yet, it doesn't play out so in my solar return chart) or we will make those decisions for ourselves, in that day, month, year? (I find it somewhat surprising yet puzzling that astrology can tell us about our future, eg. future spouse, something unfortunate that may take place)

i feel like the way, i worded it is confusing.. anyways, i would appreciate an answer, thank you. also, i'm genuinely asking.. (not tryna come off as questioning someone's beliefs or anything bad)

Thank you, once again. 😊💕

Hi there,

When reading a Solar Return chart it’s very important that you do not look at a single planet in isolation. You can’t look at one placement and assert that x is definitely going to happen. You need to cross reference and compare the solar return chart against the natal chart. Jupiter in the 4th house of a solar return chart doesn’t necessarily indicate a move, even on its own; I wouldn’t interpret that as a move. I’d more say that it indicates and ‘expansion’ of an existing home or even of a family. Familial relationships can strengthen at this time, especially with those in your immediate family. Alternatively, in some cases existing home and family matters may become exacerbated (Jupiter is the planet that expands) depending on the aspects made to Jupiter.

If I see that someone has transit Jupiter in their 4th house and a Solar Return that is 4th house -focused then I’d say the potential to move can arise during the year. Even then, the person may decide not to move. It’s important to not look at predictive astrology in a manner that is harmful, scary, or deterministic. It shows us our potentials as it gives us insight and information about all the influences that are currently coloring our day to day lives.

When using predictive astrology, the person needs to be quite skilled as you can’t look at any single predictive technique and make definitive statements without looking at all the others. I always say astrology tells us what’s likely to unfold in our lives but at the end of the day you are an autonomous person who has the ability to make decisions that feel right to you.

I always encourage people to use predictive astrology as a guide, and as a helpful informative tool. You should not base your decisions around your transits and solar returns. However, they can help you make more informed decisions. I actually think predictive astrology works better in hindsight for people who tend to be anxious about the future!

Interestingly, I personally have found that a lot of people who are seeking to know more information about their solar returns or transits, are often going through difficult transits themselves. I want to emphasize that Astrology can never ever replace professional medical or psychiatric help. I always encourage my clients to seek professional mental health services if they are in a dark place.

So, to answer your question, solar returns can provide a framework of what is likely to unfold in your life over the next year. However, you may see this and decide that you want to do the opposite of everything that you know can happen. That’s okay, that’s possible, that’s your own choice. I think whether or not psychics, astrologers, or tarot readers can ‘predict’ certain future events essentially comes down to personal opinion and personal belief systems. However, I have found so much accuracy in predictive astrology (when used wisely) , it is so useful when giving a framework of the energies/circumstances that are currently influencing a persons life.

I hope this helps! I recommend you listen to the Astrology Podcast (Chris Brennan) he talks a lot about predictive astrology and in some videos he has people (the audience) give examples of how certain transits manifested in their lives, it’s very interesting and it may give you some perspective/clarity regarding how you feel about this topic.

[ftmtftm]

Thank you for the answer. I’m still in a place where my first instinct is to utterly self-sacrifice and destroy my mental health but your reminder that simply showing support is *something* and that can be enough if more would incapacitate me mentally really helped. Thank you. I appreciate your blog a lot

Of course, I genuinely hope you're able to learn how to care for yourself anon.

The harsh reality of it is very often your self sacrifice isn't actually helping anyone - especially if you're not in a politically active physical space.

Destroying yourself isn't helpful to anyone. It furthers no causes. It positively impacts absolutely no one, both politically and also just in your own personal life. It's a well trodden metaphor, but if you don't put your oxygen mask on before helping others all you risk doing is compounding or escalating the issue at hand.

Put on your own mask - or? If you can't put on your own mask, let someone who already has theirs on help you. Learning to accept help is just as important as learning when to give it. It's the depressed leftist thought trap I have yet to write about at length in the way I want to - "Everyone deserves help and support, except me personally". You deserve help and support just as much as any other human being on this planet.

[streamafterlaughter]

Fundamental Differing

Chapter II: Like A Lover, Not A Dancer

masterlist | playlist | chapter I

summary: Your album release show goes off without a hitch. For you, at least.

tags/warnings: rockstar!reader x rockstar!gn!afab!reader, mention of reader having boobs (feel free to skip that), slow burn, pining, angst, steve is impartial and the bestest best friend forever. mentions of blood/bruises/injury (non specific)

a/n: please don’t hate me i swore i’d make this one a Real slow burn but idk how imma do that without taunting us all. Please reblog to support the author!

Disclaimer: I do not give permission to have my work reposted on other sites. Reblogs are more than welcome, but please inform me if you find my work elsewhere unless otherwise stated.

Eddie’s POV

Pacing the length of his living room, Eddie talks aloud, mostly to himself, while his band mates sit along the couch, unsure how to help him out of his spiral.

“How am I supposed to mentally prepare for this? This is the biggest tour of our lives, and it’s with the one person capable of throwing me off my game. The one person that knows all of my weaknesses, everything that makes me tick. How am I supposed to be the person everyone thinks I am? They’re gonna see right through that shit.” He pivots to face his friends, and none of them can make eye contact. “Suggestions would be super appreciated right now!”

Gareth speaks then, timidly, “Ed, man, they probably feel the same way. You know all there is to know about Y/n. You’re both gonna go to extreme lengths to avoid each other just to realize neither of you have anything to worry about.”

“Yeah, my bet is you’ll be talkin’ like old friends within the first week.” Jeff chimes in. The two chuckle, until they see the expression on Eddie’s face. His lips are pressed together in a thin line, his eye twitching slightly as he attempts to keep his composure. “It’s true!” Jeff throws his hands above his head in surrender.

“Don’t get my hopes up like that, man. They broke up with me, ‘member? ‘Course ya do, I slept on your couch for a month when it happened.” His words wipe the smile from his friends’ faces. “I can’t walk around hoping and praying they’ll want anything to do with me. That can’t be who I am.” Eddie flops into the recliner across from them, defeated.

-

Your POV

You land in LA at 2:00PM, and are immediately rushed into a rental car, courtesy of Elektra Records. You’d been to California only once before, when you and Eddie had hit a restless phase and took a road trip to visit Will and El.

Now, though, instead of a big, dirty van, you’re in a sleek town car, on your way to The fucking Roxy to attend your band’s album release party. It feels like every sacrifice you’d made in the last two years finally makes sense! The planets have aligned, and you’re on the right path, or whatever the fuck. So why does your heart still hurt?

Robin grabs your hand, yanking you from your inner monologue. “We’re in LA, baby!” She’s hand in hand with Lilith, and Sylvie’s tucked into your left side. Steve pivots from the front seat to address you. “The party starts at ten tonight, be ready by seven. Call my room if you guys need anything, I’ll call when you have an hour left.”

You have to commend him, he’s got the mom thing down. “Yessir.” You all nod in unison, stifling the very laughter that kids would bite back after a mother’s lecture. But you appreciate him, there’s a reason you wanted him taking care of you. “Your performance is scheduled for ten thirty, we probably have fifteen, twenty minutes of leeway there though.”

Your smile is practically smacked from your face. “Our what?”

Steve looks up from his itinerary, matching your expression. “Did- did no one tell you?”

“I figured you told them!” Sylvie accuses, and Robin nods. You can perform on a whim, far over your stage fright after the hell you’d gone through. Performing has become cathartic, and you love a big audience. But Eddie was going to be in that crowd, and for some reason that scared the shit out of you.

“You’ll be fine! It’s not a full set, just three from the new album, bing bang boom you’re cutting a cake with your face on it.” He slaps his hands together to emphasize his point. As if on cue, the car pulls up to the hotel you’ll be staying at, and the doorman approaches to help with your bags.

-

You and Robin are sharing a room, spending the afternoon letting all your stress out as you prepare for the night.

“I just don’t get it!” You say for what feels like the hundredth time that day. “Why wouldn’t they tell us sooner?”

“My only theory,” Robin begins before blowing on her freshly painted nails, “Is that they know your history, and knew you’d try to back out if they told you. But how would they?”

They wouldn’t, you think, not to your knowledge. You never mention Hawkins, but you know Eddie does. Has he brought you up? You shake your head, shooing the thought away. “Whatever, nothing we can do now!” You pick a few clothing articles out of your suitcase, turning to Robin. “Which one?”

She smirks. “You know Eddie’s gonna be there, right?”

You shrug. “So?”

“So!” She catapults herself off the bed, taking the tight black dress between her fingers. “These will drive him fucking nuts! And I know you know that.”

You feign ignorance. Of course you’d thought about that, but why should it matter? “We’re broken up, Robin. This isn’t about him. Now which one am I gonna ruin tonight?” You hold each one up to you in the full length mirror. “The red one seems like a little too much,” You mumble, “But the black one is super nice on the melons.” You gesture to your chest, snickering.

It pulls a giggle out of Robin. “Definitely the black one, then.” She nods feverishly, and you mimic her movements, a grin stretching your mouth open.

-

Eddie’s POV

The joint burns in his fingers, dangerously close to singeing his hair before he snuffs it out in the ashtray. The California breeze is warm, inviting, but Eddie’s mood can’t be lifted even by the nice weather. He reluctantly returns from the patio, slamming the screen door behind him, causing Gareth to wince. “You alright, man?”

Eddie glares at his friend, who huffs a response. “You gotta get over it, Ed. Be professional, all that shit.” Gareth shrugs his jacket over a red and black flannel. “It’s not a big deal. You’re coworkers.”

“I guess,” Eddie sighs, pulling his boots on, tying the laces tightly. He swipes his hotel key from the bedside table, and follows Gareth to the elevator.

When he reaches the lobby, he stops dead in his tracks. Ten feet in front of him, behind his band mates, you stand with your own. You’re wearing a black dress with a denim jacket layered over it, and heavy black boots. Your hair falls to your shoulders, the color bright and impossible to miss. It takes all of his strength not to turn and run, but somehow he manages to stay put.

Jeff approaches him slowly, slapping a hand on his shoulder. “You’re good, man.” His voice is tired, and it’s only the first night of a very long three months ahead. Eddie nods, ripping his eyes from the back of your head. You don’t turn around, but the tensing of your shoulders tells him you know he’s behind you. He follows behind his bandmates, stalking out of the hotel room and into the car behind the one you enter.

-

Your POV

You can feel his eyes on you even after you get in the car. Sylvie puts a comforting hand on your shoulder as Robin grasps your free hand. You’re so grateful for your support system, you just wish you didn’t need it so much.

You zone out for the drive, trying your best not to think about the events lined up for tonight. More so, you’re trying not to think about how you’ll avoid Eddie all night. At your own party. That he’s attending.

Your legs start to bounce as the driver pulls around the back of The Roxy. The stage manager greets you at the door as Corroded Coffin pulls up behind you. You don’t dare glance over your shoulder, ignoring every urge to look at Eddie, and immediately let your guard down.

Instead, you part ways to your separate green rooms. Even though CC isn’t performing tonight, you assume they need the space to get away from rabid fans. It makes you slightly bitter, watching them get special treatment on a night that’s supposed to belong to you.

Lilith throws herself onto the couch in the corner. “So, I took the liberty of inspecting Eddie’s demeanor so you didn’t have to.” She taunts, crossing one stockinged leg over the other.

You pivot to face your drummer, a look of what you hope is confusion written on your face. “What?” She asks innocently. “You know I’m nosey! Anyway, he was doing everything in his power not to look at you. He caught me once.”

You chuckle. “Maybe he’ll think you’re into him and move on.” You turn back to the mirror, reapplying your blood red lipstick.

“Oh, shut up!” Lilith chucks a bottle cap at you, but it lands short. “I know you’re still into him.”

“I am not!” You really aren’t sure. You haven’t spoken in two years, mostly to make sure you didn’t give back in to him. You didn’t trust your own willpower.

“Five minutes, ladies!” A stagehand peeks her head through the doorway. You and Sylvie exchange an eye roll at her assumption. It doesn’t shake you, or even offend you, being called a lady, or a woman. You know it’s not meant as an insult, but if people would just listen to your music, it’s not that hard to understand.

The DJ set ends, and he plays Sonic Youth’s Kool Thing as your walk out music, and you relish in the way the lyrics resonate: Kool Thing sittin' with a kitty / Now you know you're sure lookin' pretty / Like a lover not a dancer / Superboy take a little chance here / I don't want to, I don't think so / I don't want to, I don't think so. You peek around the corner from backstage, into a crowd of teens and young adults, some wearing your shirts, most of them already sweating.

When the song ends, the house lights dim, and the crowd gets impossibly louder. Robin throws her bass over her head, and gives your shoulder a comforting squeeze. “Ready to knock ‘em dead?”

You smile at her, and extend it to the rest of your band. The four of you huddle together.

“Okay, guys. This is it. How we do tonight is an indication of how the tour is gonna go. Now, WHO ARE WE?”

“DEATH DANCE APPROXIMATELY!”

“I SAID, ‘WHO ARE WE?!’”

“DEATH DANCE APPROXIMATELY!”

You chant together, hyping yourselves up, building to an excited babble of voices overlapping. You grab your own guitar from a stagehand, and the four of you walk on to the stage to greet a screaming crowd.

-

Eddie’s POV

His eyes don’t leave you as you make your walk to your microphone. Your dress hugs every dip and curve of your body, leaving nothing to the imagination, not that Eddie has to imagine any of it. Your lips are dark, blood red, and your hair glows under the colorful lights. Your boots are thick, platform heels that lift you an extra three inches off the ground, giving the impression that you’d stomp out anyone that crosses you. Your skin is littered with tattoos, plenty more than the last time he saw you. They cover your arms and legs, heavy lines and bright colors. You look like an art piece, one Eddie could spend the rest of his life admiring.

He doesn’t recognize the song you open with, knowing it’s a new one off the album due to be released at midnight. Your voice hooks him in anyway; raspy, sounding angry, hurt, and like you’re singing right to him. Every fight you’d ever had with him, every night you’d wept in his arms, it’s all expelling from you on that stage, and he can’t help swimming in the pain it causes him.

Eddie gets it, the way a show can calm him in an instant, he can get every piece of aggression out of him without hurting anyone else. Watching you perform for the first time since breaking up is hypnotic, making his heart skip around erratically. He turns to the bartender. “Make it a double,” he calls over the music.

“What the fuck is up, LA?!” You scream when you finish your first song, and the crowd responds with shrieks. “We are Death Dance Approximately, and it’s lovely to meet you. Welcome to our album release show!” They scream again. “Please feel free to stick around until we unveil it. This is our first single, it came out last month. It’s called Pretty Boy.”

Eddie’s eyes widen. He never expected you to play the song again, let alone make it a single, but Pretty Boy had become such a staple song for both avid fans and casual listeners. Usually he can’t listen to it, but right now Eddie can’t bring himself to look away from you as you sing the song you wrote for him.

I hadn’t slept in several days, / I hadn’t been warm in weeks, / But after you had met my gaze, / I let my body breathe. / It felt less like a heart attack, / and more like coming home. / I let your body keep me warm, / so I don’t have to sleep alone. / Pretty boy, my heart is yours, / and I hope you’ll say the same, / Cause after all these lonely nights, / I just want to hear you say my name.

It’s crazy to hear the crowd sing with you, adding ambiance to your already angelic voice. Eddie feels his breath catch in his throat, and gulps his whiskey down to suffocate it. As you move into the third song, and Eddie’s about to call it a night, he’s approached by a group of what looks to be twenty somethings, girls about Dustin’s age now.

“Holy shit,” the short girl with spiky, purple hair squeaks, shouting over the music. “You’re Eddie Munson!” She covers her mouth, as if she’s spoken something forbidden.

Eddie scratches the back of his head and laughs. “Yeah, that’s me.” It’s a welcome distraction from the self torture of watching you.

“Would you sign my tits?!” a taller girl speaks, her blonde hair falling over her shoulders and her barely covered chest.

Eddie raises an eyebrow. It’s not the first time he’s been asked, but it never ceases to weird him out a little. “Uh, sure, got a marker?”

She hands Eddie a sharpie, and he signs her skin, leaning as far away from her as he can while doing so. They shout their thanks, and walk away squealing to each other. When he pivots back to the stage, you’re on your knees, singing right into the faces of the front row. What he’d do to have you that close to him again.

-

Your POV

You finish your third and final song of the night, leaving every ounce of your soul on the floor of The Roxy. When you’ve finished, you’re sweaty, smelly, and covered in glitter. Your makeup is smudged and running down your face, and your hair is tangled and sticking out every which way, but you’ve never felt better.

In the green room, Sylvie pops a bottle of celebratory champagne. “To our first sold out show!” You hold your glass up, and everyone clinks theirs together.

“Fucking awesome, you guys.” Steve praises, sipping his own bubbly. “I’m so proud of you guys.”

“Aw, you big sap.” Robin wraps an arm around his waist. “Couldn’t have done it without you.”

You join the hug, and your bandmates follow. “Thank you, Steve.” You say, quietly enough that only he hears you.

“Any fuckin’ time.” He breaks the hug with some minor objections. “Feel free to relax before making an appearance.” He checks his watch. “Just be ready before midnight, you gotta be in there for the cover reveal.”

You feel your heart speed up. The cover. Shit.

-

December 1985

“Whoa, dude, lemme see!” Jonathan and Eddie are examining his wounded hand. Jonathan brings his camera to his face, pointing the lense at Eddie’s clenched fist. “I’ll definitely be sure to get you this pic, might make a sick album cover.”

-

Eddie never did, in fact, get a copy of that picture. You did, though, and you’d made it the album cover of your debut: Tighten Up. And now you had to unveil that album in front of the man whose hand is plastered on it. Fuck.

-

The Roxy is thumping with loud music, now playing Mind Riot from the overhead speakers as fans mingle with each other, drinks in hand. You walk to the long table set up in front of the stage, where plenty of DDA fans grip their tour posters, waiting for you to sign. You’re still not used to the sheer amount of people in front of you, all there because of your music, your words.

“Okay, everyone!” Steve grabs the mic and makes his “I’m In Charge” announcements. “The band will be doing some signings, and copies of the albums are available to purchase. Please, don’t take too much time, I know it’s all very exciting but we have a lot of people to get to. Patience is key! Now, I know Y/n wants to address you before revealing the cover, so lemme pass the mic.” He hands you the mic, and you take a step toward your audience.

“Hey, guys!” You greet, and they respond with their loud, disorganized whoops. “Thank you so much for coming out. We hope we see you again tomorrow for our show with the CORRODED COFFIN!” The name drop gets its own applause, and you’re satisfied with the taunting. “But right now, without further adieu,” You grab the sheet that covers the canvas holding a blown up picture of the album. “TIGHTEN UP IS OUT!” You shout, and yank the cloth. There, in all its glory, is Eddie’s bloodied hand, rings and all, with the album title plastered over it in your chicken scratch. The crowd screams, and you have no time to wonder what Eddie must be thinking right now.

-

Eddie’s POV

What the fuck. He’s not sure if he’s seeing it right. His own hand, clenched in a fist, covered in some jock’s blood, on the cover of your debut album. He catches Gareth’s eyes, and makes an “I don’t know” face, that Gareth only returns with confusion. Eddie isn’t sure how to feel. Will people recognize his rings? Are their fans that crazy?

Before his brain can stop him, he’s walking further into the crowd, towards you. He doesn’t know what he’ll say, if he’ll even say anything. Instead, he watches you for awhile, talking to your fans like they’re your closest friends as you scribble on their posters and CDs, and pose for pictures. You look comfortable, at peace, and there’s no way he’d want to ruin that. He takes a gulp of his new drink, feeling the effects of the alcohol in his bloodstream.

“Hey,” It’s Steve, with a beer in his hand. “Sorry I didn’t tell you, I didn’t think it was my place. And to be fair, Y/n had no inkling you’d ever see it, especially like this.” He takes a sip, waiting for Eddie’s response.

He shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the clenching in his gut. “Nah, it’s cool. Really cool, actually. Didn’t know they still thought about me that much.”

Steve hands him a copy of the album. “See for yourself.”

Eddie grips the jewel case in his hands, and opens the album. The disc has the same picture printed on it, and the jacket unfolds to reveal the other picture taken that night, the one of his hand on your throat, covered with lyrics to songs titled Indiana, and Underneath Hell. He can make decent guesses as to what they’re about.

“Go say hi.” Steve shoves him a little, more playful than aggressive.

“Are you serious? I don’t wanna ruin their night.”

“You won’t,” He takes another swig, “I think it might make you both feel better. Cut the shit, get it over with. You’re gonna be stuck with each other all spring, might as well.”

Eddie downs the rest of his whiskey, letting the liquid burn his throat as the buzz takes over. Steve offers his hand, and Eddie gives him the glass. “Here goes nothin.’” He huffs, and disappears into the mob of fans. Many turn their heads, giving double takes when they realize who he is. He ignores the shouts to get his attention, not wanting to draw it away from you. Steve is only steps behind, guarding him from being grabbed at as he snakes to the front. Steve reaches the mic stand, and announces that the band is going to take a break, and to enjoy the refreshments. Eddie watches as you look from your manager, to your bandmates, and then to him.

-

Your POV

Eddie doesn’t look away when you meet his eyes. His hands are shoved into the pockets of his jeans, and he’s chewing on his lip nervously. You look to Steve again. “What’s happening right now?”

“Would you just go say hi? Act like you know the guy a little.” He shoulders you, causing you to stumble slightly. “C’mon, the rest of you,” Steve addresses the band, “Go take a break, sit down, have some water.” Steve looks back over his shoulder, and waves Eddie over. “You two, go catch up in the green room or something. I’m not letting you both be fucking weird this entire tour. Mingle.” He’s being serious. He ushers you backstage, and finally separates himself to join your friends, leaving you alone with the only person you probably shouldn’t be alone with.

You crack open a beer and take a large gulp. “Hi.”

“Hey.”

-

chapter III

taglist: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @wiildflower-xxx @beebeerockknot @champagne-glamour @xxgothwhorexx @therensistance @chonkzombie @brxkenartt @sidthedollface2 @bibieddiesgf @gaysludge @eddiesguitarskills | send a message to be added🫶

[mageofseven]

Hello my friend! Would it be too much trouble to ask me for an Obey Me match??

Name: Mochi

Gender: female (she/her)

Sexuality: pansexual

MBTI: infp

Zodiac: Libra

Personality: Shy at first and generally quiet, but ambiverted and love to be around my chosen family. Naive and gullible but I put up a tough front and I'm very book smart. Love to have philosophical and deep conversations. I'm awkward but charming (at least I like to think so) and while I'm generally cheery and pleasant I can get a bit moody, and tend to be sensitive. Honesty and communication are very important to me. Also, very nerdy and indoorsy

I hope thats enough info!!

Okay first off: Yay!!!! Another INFP Libra 🥰

Secondly, your information is a bit on the small side, but I think I might be able to scrape something up for ya~

Okay so your MBTI: INFP (just like me 🤭)

This means your function stack is FiNeSiTe or more simply, FiNe.

Your primary function is Introverted Feeling. This means you lead your life asking questions like

"How would this make me feel?"

"Does this decision match up with the morals/values that I hold dearly?"

And overall, you are a person who does a lot of reflection, both on yourself and the state of the world.

This is supported by your auxiliary function, Extraverted iNtuition. This helps you find patterns, form connections, and overall see many possibilities. This function serves your Fi and collects information for it to process.

For your sun sign, Libra, it shows you are indecisive, friendly, and fair. You aim to be diplomatic and kind to all you meet, but at your lowest you can be codependent, impatient, and fragile.

We Libras are ruled by Venus, the planet that governs love, beauty, and money; this leads us to generally be artistic and enjoy both creating and admiring art in various forms.

We are a cardinal sign, meaning we can do great at taking initiatives, but our indecision also stops us in our own tracks. We need to learn to trust our own intuition instead of always pausing our efforts to look at other perspectives.

All of this info, including the others you listed above, bring a few things to mind.

You need a s/o who can accept you at your core. You feel deeply and think deeply and you need someone who can appreciate that about you.

You need someone who will respect you and not let anyone take advantage of your gullible nature while also not becoming frustrated with you about it.

There are a few Boys who come to mind for you with this information and with so little, I can't truly say any of them are wrong for you.

However, there is one name that has been extra persistent in my mind for you. Because of this

I pair you with...

Solomon

Honestly, I just think this man checks all of the boxes in the strongest way possible.

He'd love your deep thinking ways, something he wishes he saw in more people.

Soli would find your sensitive and gullible nature to be too tempting and would have plenty of fun in teasing you; never far enough to hurt your feelings, but always enough to bring a cute blush to your cheeks.

Most importantly, he would protect you from those who wish to use those traits to hurt you. This man has been alone for a very long time and therefore is very protective of those he loves. No one would risk taking advantage of these traits of yours that the sorcerer finds so beautiful because they'd have to deal with him if they even thought about it.

Honestly, I don't think Solomon let's other see his philosophical side a lot, but I know he has it; he has lived for thousands of years and has an insatiable curiosity for this world. To me, it would be strange if he never asked or pondered the big questions in life and I truly believe you would find such conversations with him to be fulfilling and mentally stimulating.

I'll admit, Solomon might have an issue opening up to you at first. He's lived for so long, experienced so many terrible things (some that he no longer remembers well, but still feels their affects to this day).

He's not someone who would lie to his little Minx, but I think he would dodge your questions for a while till he truly starts to feel safe with you.

Solomon is someone I can see loving you completely to your core. He has his issues, yes, but you have this magical way of breaking his walls down.

He loves you for your heart, mind, and soul and will appreciate who you are the most out of all of the Boys.

[anchorandrope]

leaving jokes aside, do you actually care about anti-larry and/or anti-larries (in a good way)? like would you forgive them for the harassment if they genuinely ask you to do it?

hii !! well, actually i don't have a short answer for this question so i'll try to make it as concise as i can.

first of all, i do believe that people can change their mind after getting educated and as they grow up, so if a 15 y/o in 2014 told me to kms now comes and ask me for forgiveness, if i see that they are actually sorry i definitely would forgive them. i don't own them nothing, im well aware i do not need to forgive people to find peace to myself, to have self-esteem and love, i believe humans do not need to forgive to heal in any kind of way. being that said, i know that people feel like asking for forgiveness is a good way to heal themselves and if so, i would be really happy to forgive.

if you had asked me this same question a couple of years ago, im sure my answer would be different, but since i took a step back in the fandom and i worked on myself, i realised that even though its totally unacceptable to harras and send death threats to someone, no matter your age or life situation, its absolutely unworthy to reply every anonymous ask, to try to ask for respect, to be kind and to try to make them understand that what they are doing is wrong.

of course you are allowed to be mentally drained after harassment because it can hurt, specially if you are struggling on a daily basis. but at the end of the day, anonymous asks and blogs here or on other social media are people who don't know you and if they believe they do only because you posted something on the internet they didn't like they are clearly the problem. this might be the hardest thing to say but online or irl you will find people who dislike you and that's okay. we are billions of souls on this planet, of course some of them are gonna be mean, and it sucks! but what you have to try to do is to don't take hate that personal. people who correct your errors and try to explain you respectfully why you are mistaken are usually good people or people who love you. people who call you horrible stuff without any intention of making you change but to make you feel bad are the people who you don't have to pay attention to. people reflect their insecurities, problems, etc on others all the time (mostly unconsciously) and if you ever try to explain them that fact, they will get defensive.

your time and energy are something precious, you will never live the same second two times. try to work on yourself, try to ask yourself what do you want to invest your time and energy into. is a tumblr anon who call me stupid worth it of taking my energy and time? is it useful to spend hours worrying about anonymous messages on the internet? one day you will understand that no, its never worth it. try to pay more attention to people who love and appreciate you, who correct you for your good and who are always by your side.

my recommendation is to hold people accountable for what they did, never justify what they have done to you (or anyone) but always try to think with kindness and not with hate. of course the person who sent you a copy-paste hate message on your askbox is an idiot, what im trying to say is that maybe and just maybe that idiot is having thr worst time of their lives and hating on everyone is the only way to feel relief, which it is unacceptable but, in my opinion, thats what it makes me feel in peace with myself, because i know that im not the problem. and honey, i can assure you that is nothing more comforting than it wasn't your fault.

i hope that i explained myself the way i want to be understood, if not please let me know how can i help you to understand this better.

and lastly, i want to say something that i know that a lot of people wouldn't like, but i believe its time to be said. giving attention to people who hates you its only gonna make them wanting to hate you more and more and starting hating on others. so if you actually care if making this or any fandom/community an better place to express our interests in a mature and pleasant way, you need to stop answering hate anons. it might be "funny" to you, but think of others. what if we all collectively posted every hate we receive? do you believe that your twitter timeline or tumblr dash is gonna be full of fan art and fics? you are fooling yourself if so. is it worth it posting triggering stuff and stuff that may affect others mental-health? yeah that's what i though.

i wish from the bottom of my heart, peace, health and love to everyone single soul out there who is struggling with hate. and if you keep sending hate being an adult, not knowing if you are sending that to a minor or a suicidal person, i wish you get the karma you need. you cannot convince me that you have the "dream life" you claim to have because if so, you won't be hating on tumblr blogs by the year of 2024. you are, in fact a pathetic piece of shit who sadly believes that insulting anonymously is gonna make this a better world ;)

[svt-yeseul]

Get To Know Me ✨

🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫

+ about

#stage name - yeseul #birth name - lee yeseul #birth name meaning - 'yeseul' means 'night dew' #birthday - october 18th, 1995 #birthplace - anyang, south korea #hometown - anyang, south korea & beijing, china #nationality - korean #ethnicity - chinese-korean #languages - korean (native), mandarin (fluent), cantonese (conversational), english (conversational) #MBTI - ISFP (the adventurer) #representative emoji - 🐬/🐋 (dolphin & whale) #zodiac - libra | #chinese zodiac - pig

⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣

+ appearance

#idol look alike - suhyeon, member of Billie #natural hair color - black #natural hair type - straight #eye color - brown #height - 175cm (5'9'') #blood type - O- #dominant hand - right hand #special features - coming soon #birthmarks - coming soon #scars - coming soon #modifications - coming soon

🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫

+ career

#occupations - dance (100%), vocal (90%), rap (10%) #positions - dancer, vocalist #unit - Performance Unit #company - WA Entertainment* (2010-2011) Pledis Entertainment (2011-present) *(now RBW Entertainment) #trainee period - 5 years (2010-2015) #group debut - May 26th, 2015 #debut age - 20 years old #years active - 2015 - present #association - Pledis Entertainment, Hybe Labels, Seventeen, WA Entertainment, Mamamoo

⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣

+ statistics

vocals: 8/10 rap: 1/10 dance: 10/10 acting: 1/10 variety: 5/10 modeling: 8/10 songwriting: 9/10 producing: 5/10

🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫

+ health

#mental - she struggles with insomnia #physical - she is physically healthy #phobia - trypophobia (fear of holes) #allergy - strawberries

⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣

+ personal

#strengths - charming, sensitive to others, imaginative, passionate, curious, artistic #weaknesses - fiercely independent, unpredictable, easily stressed, overly competitive, fluctuating self-esteem #talents - good memory, playing instruments, multitasking #hobbies - playing the piano & guitar, dancing, going horse riding, reading, watching the night sky, archery, astronomy & meteorology #likes - the night sky, summer, warm weather, stars, licorice, the smell of rain, thunderstorms, planets & moons, telescopes, the color purple, cities, rooftops, sunsets/sunrises, skyscrapers, flying with planes, the taste of mint, well fitting clothes, going for runs #dislikes - winter, bubble wrap, getting sick, scarfs, strawberries, wet clothes, snow, wearing socks while sleeping, documentaries, being underestimated, conspiracy theories, fairytales, sexism, toxic masculinity, doing nothing, hospitals, the taste of vanilla, her own birthdays

🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫🟣⚫

Hey, thanks for giving this post your time and I hope you will enjoy my stories. I appreciate you 💜

One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in and where you want to go. - Sheila Murray Bethel

Disclaimer: All the pictures are from Pinterest and are not mine. Credit to the owners. ©︎ svt-yeseul - all rights reserved. do not copy, repost, or translate my work on Tumblr or other platforms.

[akab0mb]

Every day I feel more and more estranged from people. I have so many emotions, so many things I want to say, and no way to say them to the people I wish to speak to. I am feeling less able to find the energy to talk to people at all or even care. I think I am too far gone at this point. This year has traumatized me more than any other year. I will never forget the emotional shock and dissociation I went through in early November. My brain was fundamentally changed then. And that is in part because I was already deeply, deeply struggling from at least two devastating, life-altering moments that also occurred this year.

Some people on this earth are only meant to live for a few years. Their biology and brain chemistry predisposes them to a short life. Add continued trauma to that and it's a messy and desperate means to an end.

My only wish is that society begins to truly appreciate how people suffering from serious mental health issues deserve the same level of care and patience and empathy that is directed to people who suffer from severe physical health issues. Not just drugs. Not just therapy. But humans holding other humans up, being there, understanding, empathizing, and loving. Even though it's hard.

When I go, I hope someone remembers me. I hope someone remembers the person I really was. Not the thing I've been reduced to this year. "Hateful". "Manipulative". "Dangerous". Each word has placed a dagger in me that I can't remove. I never had the sense of self to advocate for myself. And I never had the communication skills. So I was left unable to question or fight. And this has been my reality my whole life. I could never fight my abusive mother's words, so I shut down. But I have always known I am good. I know this fundamentally. I know I am. I show it every day. These words are simply wrong. They do not represent my actions. They do not represent my words. They are simply unfair and incorrect. They are not me, and if I had a friend who knew me they would do better than I can at making this clear. I am good. But it doesn't matter what I am or what I say I am. What matters is what others think of me.

Why do I write these? They are not directed at anyone. No one is obligated to look or respond. I rarely have the energy to try to articulate my feelings and thoughts, so I do a little when I can muster. And I can muster the strength right now.

I have been invisible my whole life. I was forced to make myself small and quiet and barely exist as a child. I was ignored and not included in so many things in high school. I was never special. I tried so hard to do my best so that one day I would belong. And all it did was exhaust me and fill me with resentment. Why do others get to be seen and heard? Why not me? What criteria am I not meeting? Is it because I am not good at communicating?

3 people left me this year because of my depression. I don't think they know how abandonment is my greatest trigger. So on top of the immense agony I'm still going through from these ended friendships, it is now very hard for me to trust anyone. I don't want to be alone, but I can't trust anyone enough to open up. Because I cannot handle any more pain. So that is where I am. I am amazed at myself for finding the energy to write any of this. I can hardly get out of bed most days. I cannot maintain my job. I can't describe how energetically draining it is to type a reply to someone. I keep going mute - not just my voice but my ability to text anyone. I dissociate to remain alive. I go numb. I don't move. I hardly breathe. I think it's emotional shock and catatonia.

The only thing that is keeping me here is fighting for Palestine. Going to protests. Rallies. Sit-ins. I want to finally feel useful. I want my existence in this horrible life to make some kind of positive difference in the world. That was my goal in life anyway - I wanted to save the planet from environmental disaster. That was an insane and unattainable goal. This one is more manageable.

[victory-rising-astrology]

Everyone who practices astrology has a responsibility to behave ethically, not just professional astrologers.

When one person represents astrology in any way, and especially if you are presenting it to an online following, you are representing astrology in general. EVEN IF you preface what you're saying with telling people that you aren't an astrologer.

I use and firmly believe in the ethics outlined by the IAEA. Everyone in the astrology community has the responsibility to:

I strive to be of benefit and to do no harm to all with whom I interact.

I recognize and honor the diverse cultural backgrounds of others and acknowledge that my background and identity affect my values, attitudes, and beliefs.

I commit to non-discrimination: respecting all people regardless of age, race, ethnicity, culture, language, religious affiliation or beliefs, gender, sexual orientation, physical and mental ability, relationship status and relationship style, socio-economic status, education, or other reasons. 

I maintain professional and ethical boundaries. I am aware of my responsibilities especially in situations where the potential for unequal power dynamics exists.  I set aside my personal wants and needs, that include but are not limited to matters of a sexual, financial or psychological nature when they conflict with the best interests and well-being of others.

I respect the agency and autonomy of all people who seek astrological counsel. 

I maintain professional confidentiality and anonymity when working with others, except in situations where my silence could result in grievous harm to another. 

I refrain from using other people’s birth data without expressed permission unless this data already exists in the public sphere. 

I use language that neither creates false hopes nor speaks in absolutes, and I affirm that every astrological configuration can manifest in a variety of ways. 

I am aware of my astrological expertise and limits, and actively refer people elsewhere when their needs are beyond the scope of my proficiency. 

I respect and appreciate astrology’s diverse traditions, modalities and techniques that have developed throughout history and take care never to disparage another’s approach.

I disclose and continue to improve my astrological and professional skills, including furthering my ethics training.

I never use another’s work without proper attribution and reference. I acknowledge others’ contributions to my ideas and work. 

I keep apprised of the local and national laws and standard business practices as they apply to my business and profession. 

I behave and communicate professionally, regardless of the setting, respecting the dignity of all persons even when in disagreement, and I actively work towards resolving conflicts.

I recognize that my conduct directly impacts the reputation of astrology and strive to conduct myself in a manner that garners respect. I do not use astrology to discriminate or disparage others. 

Please please keep these things in mind when making astrology content here on the internet. With the planet of misery and control in the sign of spirituality, there is going to be a lot more cracking down on astrologers and witches and diviners. Please don't give people reason to label those of us who have started making this our livelihood as fraudulent or malicious.