#i hope to write a sequel someday

[goforth-ladymidnight]

I Will See You Again

A Book 1 Feyre x Tamlin AU

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: Mere days before the seven times seven years are up, Tamlin decides to send Feyre back to the mortal lands. No matter what happens to him, her safety is more important than his freedom. Standing beside the carriage, Feyre has one chance to tell him how she feels before he sends her away forever. Not forever, he says, but she knows that faeries can lie... A glimpse at what might have happened if Feyre had opened her heart and said those three little words that held more magic than she thought possible.

Read on AO3 or below the cut:

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Standing beside the carriage, Feyre tugged at her little lace gloves as Tamlin turned to face her.

He smiled softly, sadly. “Remember what I told you,” he said, not asked.

She bit her lip and nodded, trying to memorize the way the sunlight gleamed in his hair, the curve of his lips, the exact shade of his amber-flecked green eyes.

“The mortal lands are safe for you, your family,” he continued.

She nodded again, shifting uncomfortably in those silly white pumps that matched the rest of her ridiculous outfit.

He sighed. “If you wish to sail for the continent—”

She shook her head and found her voice at last. “I’m only going away for a little while. Remember? Not forever.”

Not forever, he’d whispered against her lips the night before. “Not forever,” he repeated now, then smiled.

She smiled back, then shrugged. “Will you cover up my paintings for me? I meant to, but—”

“Of course. Anything for you,” he murmured.

“Just until I come back.” Her voice cracked, and tears blurred her vision. The carriage behind her felt too large, too close, too… final.

He stepped closer, and his fingers lifted her chin. His beautifully green eyes searched hers. “I will see you again.”

She drew in a sharp, painful breath, but before she could find the words to speak, he bent his head and pressed his lips to hers. Her eyes closed as she kissed him back and breathed him in. The earthiness of him, of wild blossoms growing and trees reaching for the heavens, of a sun-kissed wind after a long winter. He lingered a moment longer against her lips. He was everything she loved about Spring: warm and gentle, yet fierce and wild. But before she could slide her arms around him and never let him go, he pulled away.

Before she could protest, he took her hand and helped her into the carriage. It was gorgeously opulent, with plush red velvet seats and gold gilt trim. It would be taking her home—no, it would be taking her from her home. For that’s what the manor had become: Home.

Tamlin brushed a stray tendril of hair from her cheek and tucked it behind her ear. His fingers traced its rounded shape as he asked her, “Is there anything else you want? Anything you need?”

You, she wanted to cry, and pull him into the carriage with her. All I want is you. I need you. Just you… But she shook her head. If Rhysand came back, or the Attor, or Amarantha herself…

Tamlin shut the carriage door. Its click might as well have been an iron gate of a prison cell, sealing her off from a world she had grown to love. She leaned toward the open window as he reached his hand in. He caressed her cheek, touching her one last time.

As she opened her mouth to speak, to say she’d changed her mind, the footman cracked the whip. Her heart cracked with it.

The carriage jerked back, and Tamlin’s fingers brushed her mouth. “I love you,” he said, and stepped back.

Her reply stuck in her throat as the carriage rolled away.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she settled back against the cushions. She wrung her fingers, twisting the lace gloves, and she remembered the way his strong fingers had fit between hers. How their bodies had fit together the night before, wild and burning, before they fell asleep in each other’s arms. How they had made love again, slowly and intently, one last time before the sun rose. How he had whispered in the dying dark: “I love you.”

She closed her eyes and choked back a sob. I love you, too. She hadn’t said it, and she didn’t know when she’d get another chance.

“Stop the coach,” she whispered, but it kept going. The horses were picking up speed now. Gravel crunched beneath the wheels, and shadows flickered through the open windows as they passed the decorative apricot trees lining the road that carried her further and further away from him. It wouldn’t be long before they reached the manor gates and the forest beyond.

She took a quivering breath, then choked out, “Stop the coach!”

She yanked off the gloves, then ripped off the hat and what felt like half of her hair in the process. Her unpinned hair tumbled around her face and shoulders. “Stop the coach! Please, I have to get out,” she cried, and thank the forgotten gods, someone was listening. She kicked off the white pumps as the carriage began to slow. She didn’t wait for it to come to a complete stop before she threw open the door.

The rounded gravel crunched beneath her stocking feet as she landed and nearly fell to her knees. She caught herself, then shook her hair from her eyes as she straightened. Gathering her skirts into her fists, she darted off the path and onto the soft grass lining the road, then began to run back toward the manor.

“Tamlin!” she cried. “Tamlin, wait!”

Sunlight glinted off a gold mask as the distant figure turned to face her. He took slow, uncertain steps toward her, as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. She met him at the end of the circle drive, knocking him back a step as she threw her arms around him. Him. Her High Lord.

“What are you—” he began to say, but her lips were in the way.

She slipped her hands around his neck and kissed him again, sliding her fingers into the silky strands of his hair. His hands came to rest on her arms as he kissed her back, a much slower response to her feverish kisses. When at last she pulled away, panting for breath, she pressed her hands against his chest and feigned a scowl.

“Did you really think you could say you love me and then send me away without giving me the chance to say it back?”

“I… ah…” He shook his head in disbelief as he stared at her, clearly stunned.

Her heart flipped over as she gave him a shy smile. “Well, I…”

Tamlin didn’t seem to be breathing, so she took a deep breath for him.

“I love you, too,” she declared, then she let out a heavy sigh, relieved of that secret at last. Her smile quivered. “With all my heart,” she added softly. “I love you.”

His shoulders slumped as he let out a soft laugh of amazement and slowly shook his head.

She wet her lips and tried to steady her pounding heartbeat, disappointed in his response. “That’s all I wanted to say, I suppose…” she murmured. “So… if you still want to send me away—”

He laughed brightly, like sunshine cracking ice, then gathered her into his arms and twirled with her and kissed her. He kissed her nose, her cheeks, her lips. Over and over again.

She chuckled, confused, as she clung to him and kissed him back. “Is that a no?” she managed breathlessly between kisses.

He paused, then set her down and grinned at her. “Yes, that’s a no,” he said, glowing with pleasure.

Feyre blinked. He was glowing. His tanned, golden skin shimmered with light. The scent of magic and fresh rain and green meadows grew stronger, and the circlet of sunshine she had once seen around his head reappeared before her mortal eyes. “Tamlin?” she marveled, at a loss of what else she could say.

“Tam!” someone else cried behind them.

They turned their heads to see Lucien standing on the bottom step of the manor, holding something out to them. Feyre gasped. He no longer wore his fox mask, for it was in his hand.

Her gaze slid up to his maskless face. The brutal scar was pale against his warm, sun-kissed skin, but the rest of his features were sharp and elegant. And as he smiled, a truly handsome smile, it was easy to forget about the scar. He shook the mask at Tamlin and declared, “If you haven’t kissed her by now, old friend, I will!”

“Don’t worry. I have,” Tamlin called back.

Feyre laughed in amazement as Lucien threw the mask to the side and darted forward, then she let out a delighted shriek as he picked her up and twirled her just as Tamlin had done. “Thank the Mother!” he cried, then set her down and grabbed her hands to squeeze them. “Thank you, Feyre Cursebreaker,” he said earnestly. Tears shone in his russet eye even as he smiled.

She tilted her head as strong emotions that she could not name gripped her throat and made it difficult to speak. “Cursebreaker?” she managed, blinking back tears of her own. “I-I don’t…”

“Feyre,” Tamlin said beside them.

She turned her head, then sucked in a sharp breath as he reached up and removed his golden mask. After all this time… She drank in the sight of him. From the slight arch of his eyebrows to his lovely, straight nose, he looked exactly the way she thought he would, and had dreamed of.

“You did it,” he whispered, and his green eyes shone.

She slowly shook her head as Lucien released her hands and stepped back. She scarcely noticed, for all she could see was Tamlin. She reached for him, and in a daze, gently brushed her fingertips across his high cheekbones. “Did what?” she murmured.

He smiled, then gathered her hands in his and pressed them to his lips. For a long moment, he said nothing, but held her hands against his warm mouth. Her heart trembled, but she wasn’t certain why. When he spoke at last, he brought her hands to his heart and said slowly, “You loved me back.”

Thunder split the air before she could reply, and a sudden sharp wind stung her face and made it difficult to see. Tamlin pulled her into his strong arms and shielded her from the worst of it. She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her face against his warm chest, clinging to him and trying to block out the shrill cry of the cold wind. The wind whipped her hair and her clothes and bit into her skin, but Tamlin held her tight. The storm couldn’t have lasted more than a minute, but it seemed to last an eternity.

She opened her eyes only when Tamlin loosened his hold on her. His hands still rested on the nape of her neck and the curve of her waist, keeping her close. Clumps of earth and scattered blossoms littered the earth around them, but they were—mostly—unhurt. Her ears rang; she could still hear the faint shriek the wind had carried from the north. It had almost sounded like a woman shrieking in the distance. But that was impossible, unless… Feyre lifted her head and looked into Tamlin’s eyes.

“Amarantha?” she whispered.

Tamlin’s mouth was pinched as he nodded, and his brows furrowed. Even though their circumstances were becoming grim, her heart swelled with gratitude to see his every expression.

From beside them, Lucien spoke. “It’s not over, is it?”

Tamlin turned his head. “Not yet,” he replied, then turned his attention back to her. “Feyre,” he began, but she shook her head.

“I’m staying,” she declared, curling her fingers into his tunic. “I’m not going to lose you now. Not ever.”

He sighed, but he smiled. “Lucien,” he began, glancing at his friend.

“I’m with her,” Lucien declared, stepping forward. His sword was drawn. “And I’m staying with you, no matter what happens.”

Tamlin nodded. “No matter what happens,” he repeated, then turned back to Feyre. His hand at the back of her neck tightened, and he brought her closer to kiss her firmly on the mouth. There would be time for gentleness, she knew, but not now. She pressed herself against him as she firmly kissed him back.

When they parted, he pressed his forehead against hers, and their breaths mingled as they sighed. “No matter what happens,” he whispered again. “We’ll stay together.”

“Together,” she murmured, then drew a deep breath as he pulled away and straightened up. He was a true High Lord, shining against a darkening sky. His arm curled protectively around her shoulders as he led her toward the protection of the manor, and Lucien followed.

A storm was coming, but they were going to face it. Together.

[paperwhirlpool]

There is a Tool in everyone's mind. You should have it, and you don't.

At least, that's what people tell you. There is a thing in their head, needing no conscious direction-- a Tool. It shapes almost everything they do. They assume that it shapes everything you do, too, and maybe it does, but only in your reaction to its absence.

You should have it, and you don't.

Growing up, you're told to remember your Tool. "Use your Tool!" a common refrain when speaking to children. First you assume you're bad at using it, but when you can't feel it, when the world stops making sense to you, you realize. When you ask what the Tool is, people shrug off the question, or explain in contradictory, circular ways. It's a handsaw, or a hammer, or a toothbrush. It's delicate, or robust. You must always use it, especially when talking to people, or doing your chores, or engaging your mind in anything the adults find important. It shapes everything. You have no idea what anyone is talking about, when they describe it.

You should have it, and you don't.

When people notice it-- that gap in your facade, that slight strangeness to your demeanor-- they become confused, or angry. They say you are a bad person, or else bad at being a person. Unless you are lucky, you will live in one of those labels for a long time. (Perhaps both.)

Everywhere you look, you will see the importance of the Tool. The ways that not having it separate you so thoroughly and irreparably from People (not just other people, but from the idea of being a person-- because people have Tools, after all). The Tool-less are villains, or fools, or more dead than alive, really. Bad people, or bad at being people.

You should have it, and you don't.

Maybe you will fake it. You say, "yes, my Tool, just like a toothbrush," and you look at what actions are Tool-like, and do those. You swallow your doubts, paper over the gaping hole where that Tool would be. And if you get strange looks-- if you are struck, sometimes, with the overwhelming fear that everyone sees right through you-- at least you can pretend you are like them. You are not a monster, the way the Tool-less are. You are not cast out entirely.

But you should have it, and you don't.

[phantom-sleuth]

Wanted to make a rec post about a bunch of random sci-fi manga i like and hope that others enjoy as well.

Dead Dead Demons Dededede Destruction:

A story about 2 young women in their day to day lives as a giant alien ship looms over Tokyo. A fair bit of the story focuses modern social political issues in Japan and the mystery surrounding the mothership and the aliens and why they are there.

The series will get two movie adaptations later this year.

Dai Dark:

The story mainly revolves zaha sanko and how a legend exist that if one gets ahold of his bones they will have any wish granted to them, and so sanko needs to search through space in order to find whoever put this curse on him and kill them. The manga is made by Q Hayashida and features a very gritty world with very goofy and fun characters.

Battle Angel Alita/Gunnm:

A story mostly about a cyborg with a sense for battle wanting to fin her origins after crashing on earth. The series has 3 entries so far with the third being on hiatus sadly, the 3 series being Alita battle angel, baa last order and baa mars chronicle. However the series has excellent art a very good story and great action.

It currently has a 1993 anime and a live action movie

20th Century Boys

The story revolves around a group of adults who in their youth created a symbol to represent their friendship which is then used by some malevolent character called friend in the future for his own cult and his goal to take over the world. With most of the story being about trying to recall who he may be and how to stop his plot. Its a VERY story and dialogue heavy series, but its all worth it once everything starts clicking.

it has a short sequel series that contains the ending of the actual series called "21st century boys"

Pluto

Made by the same person as 20th century boys Naoki urasawa, its an adaptation of "the greatest robot on earth" story with its own unique spin. Its about the ongoing murders of the seven most powerful robots on earth. It deals in a lot of stuff about the sentience of the robots and their rights.

It currently has a full anime adaptation on netflix.

Planetes

A lot of the story mainly focuses on the struggles and relationships of the main characters with space mainly being a backdrop. Its a very interpersonal story and i can't really do it justice by just describing it so i recommend reding or watching it yourself.

It also has a full anime adaptation.

10,000 light year binoculars

This one is just a oneshot but i enjoyed it so much that i really had to rec it. Its about an alien girl with binoculars that allow her to spy on a boy on earth from her own planet and wanting to meet him someday. The entire oneshot is in color, the art is great AND its short.

Star tripper: Planetarium Ghost Travel

A very comfy manga that only recently stared to get fantranslated. Its about a guy called 303 going to "ghost planets where most of the inhabitants have gone into a deep sleep and turned into trees.

Heavenly Delusion/Tengoku Daimakyou

And finally Heavenly, it has two concurrent plotlines with the first one being about a boy and a girl going through a post apocalyptic Japan looking for "new heaven", while the second is about a group a kids in a sterile facility wanting to go explore outside the walls of said facility.

It has an anime that covers the first 5 volumes.

And those are all my sci-fi recs for the moment!!! Hope someone finds something new to enjoy of these here. apologies if the writing ain't the best i wrote this at like 3 am.

[thebiggerbear]

Close Enough - Russell Shaw x Reader

Summary: When you'd met the Shaws at the morgue the day before, you thought that had been the end of it and you wouldn't need to see one Shaw brother in particular again. Little did you know that Colter was about to once again ask for your help and not only would you be forced to see Russell again but things were about to change drastically for the both of you.

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader; Russell Shaw x Female!FBI Special Agent!Reader

A/N: Sequel to So Close. I wanted to follow up and reveal what happened between Russell and the reader in the past but as I was writing it, this idea popped into my head in addition to that and I just had to see where it went. This was the end result lol. Hope it's okay.

Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine. I still have not seen Tracker (besides 1x12) because I just haven't had the time for a proper binge yet so if I got some things wrong about Colter and his experience in the show, I apologize.

Also, I always like to throw the disclaimer out there anytime I write something related to the universe of law enforcement: I have never worked in law enforcement so I tried to piece together things I’ve seen and heard in true crime documentaries and podcasts alongside with movies/tv and books. I apologize for any inconsistencies, incorrect information, exaggerations, or complete fallacies. Basically, I made shit up.

Songs I listened to while writing: Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye; Easy Living by Loretta Lynn & Conway Twitty; Sweet Dreams by Patsy Cline; Sounds of Someday by Radio Company

Warnings: sanctioned assassination; death; gun violence; violence/blood mention; mention of dead bodies; arson; implied sex; a very, very tiny amount of smut(ish); language (I guess?)

Word Count: 16K+

Russell Taglist: @deangirl96 (I hope you don't mind me tagging you in this one; this is going to lead into the series that I mentioned); @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel

Jensen Taglist: @samanddeaninatrenchcoat

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Please do not do any of the above. Thank you for your understanding.

Your phone started to buzz and you glanced at the screen, rolling your eyes and letting out a sigh before picking up. That wasn’t the normal reaction you would have to seeing Colter’s name pop up on your phone but ever since that mess back at the morgue yesterday, you had been hoping he wouldn’t contact you again. At least not until his brother went back to whatever hole he’d crawled out of. But now it looked like that had been a fool’s hope, on both counts.

“You what?” You hissed.

“We’re about to head to this home in the Blue Ridge Mountains and go in to get Doug,” he repeated.

“I’m sorry, an incredible amount of stupid just sounded in my ear. Can you repeat that?”

“Reenie got me the location and it’s solid intel.” He lowered his voice. “Look, I thought we should get law enforcement involved, alright? But there’s a…valid reason why Russ doesn’t want to call them that I can’t get into right now.”

“Whoops, more stupid. One more time?”

Colter groaned into the phone. “Come on, Y/N.”

“I’m serious, Colter. What the hell are either of you think—wait, scratch that. What the hell are you thinking? Going into a dangerous location like that without any backup? If Carlos Solano found your missing man in a safehouse, do you think he won’t be armed to the teeth? That he won’t have guards patrolling the compound that you’re walking right into? That he won’t see something like this coming? You guys are walking right into a shitstorm.” Christ, you loved the guy like a long-lost brother that you sometimes kept in touch with but if he were in front of you right now, you would’ve delivered one good smack to the back of his head to get him thinking straight. Colter may know his way around a gun, but he wasn’t someone who had formal training or combat experience like Russell did. He didn’t even have your training and you wouldn’t be going in there kamikaze-style like they were.

“That’s why I’m calling you and asking you to meet us there. I’m not exactly calling in law enforcement but we’ll have one more person to watch our backs and help us search for Doug. And who better than a special agent with the FBI?”

You sat back in your chair, shaking your head but thinking it over. This was beyond stupid and you shouldn’t be encouraging it. Russell’s involvement in this idiot plan didn’t surprise you; Colter’s did. He knew better. But you also knew that if he thought he had a chance to get the missing guy back home safely, he was going to take it, no matter the personal risk. If you didn’t go like he asked and anything happened to him or Russell, you’d never forgive yourself.

“Please?” 

You pinched the bridge of your nose between your thumb and forefinger, your decision made. “Send me the location and I’ll leave now to meet you.”

“Thank you.” You could hear the genuine gratitude in his tone. “I promise I’ll explain everything.”

“You better,” you nearly growled before disconnecting the call. You had a feeling you knew what he was going to tell you but for his sake, you hoped it wasn’t anything close to what you were thinking. But why else would Russell not want to call law enforcement for help in rescuing his friend who had been taken hostage by a foreign criminal? God, you hoped you were wrong.

You let out another loud sigh and before you could stand, your phone started ringing again. When you glanced at the screen, instead of a name, you saw “Blocked”. Not good.

You swiped green, holding it to your ear. “Y/L/N.”

“We have a problem,” said the voice on the other end, one you knew all too well, and it didn't sound happy. Shit.

You watched as Colter’s truck pulled up alongside your car. Colter got out and noticed you leaning against your trunk, arms crossed and a scowl in place. Russell came around from the other side. 

“Either of you boys see two suicidal idiots around here? Oh, wait.”

Russell’s jaw tightened. “It wasn’t my idea to call you.” He slid a glare over to his brother. 

“You’re lucky he did,” you snapped. “And since I’m here,” You got to your feet and turned to open your trunk, revealing a smorgasbord of gear and weapons. “We’re going to be doing this my way.” You held out a bulletproof vest to Colter first and he immediately started to strap it on. You held one out to Russell but he shook his head and didn’t take it. You glanced over to find he had already put his own on while you’d been grabbing one for his brother.

“Okay, look,” Russell started, his eyes scanning your makeshift armory and setting your teeth on edge. “This isn’t some FBI raid of some drug gang. This guy, Carlos Solano, he’s the real deal. He’s as dangerous as they come.”

You could feel your irritation turning into anger at the suggestion that you didn’t know how serious this was, and from him of all people. “And what am I? Some part-time mall security guard? A receptionist at the Academy? I’ve dealt with cartels before and they’re as dangerous as they come, too. So take that mansplaining and shove it right up where the sun doesn't shine.”

Russell took a step closer and laid a hand on your shoulder, his eyes burning into you. “Be pissed at me all you want but I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“But you’re okay with your brother getting hurt?” You briefly glanced in Colter’s direction. The younger man was watching you two carefully as he adjusted his vest one last time, wisely choosing to stay out of this one. 

Russell’s jaw clenched and he dropped his hand. “I’ve got him.”

You snorted and grabbed a gun, loading it quickly. “And I’ve got both of you. Now, we’ve got a bit of a hike so let’s cut the chit chat and get this over with, shall we?” You motioned for Colter to turn around and you inserted an extra handgun into the back of his belt. “We stick together as a unit. You hear me? No wandering off alone.”

Colter faced you again. “Yes, Mom,” he teased.

You swatted at his shoulder before checking the fit of his vest, nodding in approval.

“I have done this before, you know.”

You knew that already. You’d been there with him a couple of times for such instances. “Good for you,” you quipped. “But for kicks, how about you just humor me?”

He rolled his eyes and you smirked, turning to slam the trunk shut. You glanced up to find Russell watching you, his jaw still tight but his eyes containing a familiar light that you hadn’t seen in a while. “You good?”

“Yep.” And just like that, the light hollowed out, replaced by something far colder yet familiar, but not because you’d seen it in his gaze. You’d seen it often enough in your own when looking into the mirror. 

Pushing that thought away and shifting focus, you began to lead the way into the trees. “Alright, let’s do this and get Doug home in time for breakfast.” Colter flanked you on your right while Russell came up on your left. 

“Let’s rock and roll,” he agreed. 

It hadn’t been as bad as you’d been expecting, even after you’d received the intel Colter had referred to on the phone. One guard and three henchmen. You were annoyed and almost insulted that they had presented so little a challenge considering Carlos Solano was supposed to be this big bad criminal. But when you glanced over and saw Colter looking over Russell’s bloody jacket sleeve, you regretted the thought and gratitude immediately filled you that things hadn’t been worse. Russell had taken a bullet to the arm and thankfully, it had passed right through. 

Before you could shoot the bastard that shot him, Colter and Russell were on it. You watched in awe as the brothers moved as a single unit, almost as if they hadn’t been strained or missed a beat over the years. You supposed you should be happy that they were working together rather than still arguing over shit from a lifetime ago that had torn their family apart. For Colter’s sake at least.

Just then, you heard what sounded like a small plane outside. You hurried to a window and glanced outside, seeing a rapidly descending charter plane aiming for the tiny landing strip in the back of the property. Right on time.

You let the curtain fall and looked back at the guys. “Time to go.”

Doug’s face was ashen while Colter and Russell exchanged glances. Immediately, Russell picked up his gun and got ready to leave the room.

You rushed to stop him. “There will be none of that!” 

“You guys get Doug back to the truck. I’ll handle this.”

You practically jogged around him, planting yourself in his path. “Not happening.”

He glared down at you. “Y/N, I need to close this up. Move.”

You scowled right back. “You’ve been shot.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I have to finish this.”

You refused to budge. “You are not finishing anything. You’re getting the hell out of here, that’s what you’re doing.” 

“Y/N—”

“Guys, not the time,” Colter interceded. “He’s getting off that plane any second now, so what’s the plan?”

“She’s right, man,” Doug added, making both of your gazes snap over at him. “We really need to go.”

Voices suddenly sounded outside and you all glanced towards the window.

“Shit,” you muttered, quickly checking the chamber on your gun. As you were about to head out of the room, a hand grasped gently under your chin and forced your eyes to meet Russell’s. You could see the pleading there but also a stone-cold resignation. “Go with Colter and Doug,” he urged, giving you a brief but strained smile. “I need you to go.” You felt the rough skin of his thumb on your cheek as he moved it tenderly back and forth.

You knew what he was really telling you, what he planned to do, but hell if you weren’t more infuriated with him. You were so sick of the self-sacrificial bullshit. Hadn’t it cost you enough? Cost you both?

You pulled away from him, giving him a glare. “I don’t think you understand,” you said in a tone so cold you were pretty sure you could give the winds in Antarctica a run for their money. “I’m taking Solano in and I am not leaving until I have my suspect alive and in custody.” Russell looked pissed but you couldn’t care less. Better than him being dead in the next two minutes.

You turned to face Colter and Doug so they also got the message. “This case is under Federal jurisdiction now.” Colter glanced between you and his brother who you turned back to face. “I’m bringing him in. Got it?”

Russell went to say something but didn’t get the chance. The sounds of gunfire erupted right outside the room and you all had to duck for cover. 

You secured your handcuffs around Carlos Solano’s wrists that had been forced behind his back once you shoved him into the chair in the room, purposely tightening the metal bracelets past the point of comfort. The man reacted, cursing you out as you smirked up at him. 

Getting to your feet, you focused on the Shaws and Doug. Russell watched you with a glare while Colter waited for you to speak. Doug looked downright terrified. They had helped you to take down Solano’s men who had flown with him — all three of them. Russell aimed for Solano but at the last second, you got in his way and tackled the criminal to the ground. Needless to say, he wasn’t happy with you. Oh well. The feeling was mutual.

Colter placed his hands on his hips. “Alright, so how are we getting him back to the truck? Are we just going to drag him through the woods and hope we don’t come across anybody else he might have coming here? How are we going to work this?”

You slipped your gun back into your holster. “He doesn’t have anyone else coming here and the plan is that you three are going to head back to the truck and get out of here. I’m going to wait for a pickup,” You gestured towards the window with your thumb where the landing strip could be seen. “They’re nearby, waiting for my call, and they won’t take long to get here.” You shook your phone in your hand, indicating you were going to be using it.

Russell glanced around, as if expecting Agents to start popping up out of the woodworks at any second, before his eyes settled back on you. “So you called this in after all?”

You shrugged. “You were going into a fully armed compound to rescue a hostage, a two-man team against a crime lord on the FBI’s Most Wanted list? Yeah, of course, I did.”

He shook his head, chuckling and muttering a curse under his breath. “Of course you did,” he echoed, shooting a look over at his brother. 

Colter’s gaze flickered back to you. “We’ll wait with you until they get here.”

You offered up a small smile. “I appreciate it but not necessary. I’ve got this until they get here and I do the handover.”

“But—”

“Look, you should get Doug out of here.” You inclined your head in the direction of the man who was staring dazedly at the floor. “You need to get him checked out and your brother should get his arm looked at.”

“I’m fine,” Russell interjected.

You ignored him. “I’ll be alright, Colter. Believe it or not, you tend to get experience with this kind of thing once or twice before becoming a Special Agent.” You meant it as a light-hearted reassurance but you could tell that both Shaw brothers were going to be a hard sell. At least Colter’s reasoning was up front and above board.

“I’m sure but I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone. Not with him.” Colter gestured towards Solano who spit in his direction.

“I won’t be for long. But you guys need to get out of here. The Bureau can’t know you were involved in this.” You shot him a meaningful look. “For multiple reasons.”

The younger man looked as if he was going to protest again when you held up a hand. “Colter. You may not like it but you need to do as I’m telling you. If the Bureau finds any of you here…” You could tell that he didn’t care so much about himself but you let your eyes briefly flick in Russell’s direction, who was busy glaring at the man you had bound to the chair. You saw Colter’s expression immediately change and you knew you had succeeded in convincing him to vacate the area as soon as possible.

He nodded his head in assent. “Okay.” He laid a hand on Doug’s shoulder, prompting the man to look up at him, and urged him to start moving to the door.

“Okay? What do you mean okay?” Russell huffed.

Colter held up a hand. “Russell—”

“No.” Russell turned a glare on you. “Not okay. He’s a loose end that needs tying up. He knows who we are now, he came after Doug, and the FBI isn’t going to do shit with him.” You narrowed your eyes in a glare but he continued. “That’s not an insult. It’s the truth and you know it. They’re going to what? Get him to talk, to roll over on someone else he has connections to who’s higher up their food chain, and he gets off scot free? No, not happening on my watch.” 

He took a step forward and so did you, in front of Solano. You drew your gun but held it loosely across your waist, your finger on the trigger, ready and waiting should you need it. Russell stopped cold, his eyes flickering back and forth between you and the weapon in your hand. Colter and Doug were frozen, watching the scene unfold.

“I told you,” you said in the most deadly serious tone you could muster. “I’m taking him in, alive. If you have a problem with that, well…” You flipped the safety on the gun off. “You’ll have to go through me. And I promise you, my aim is a hell of a lot more accurate at close range than it’s ever been.”

Russell didn’t blink, he just kept scowling at you.

“Russ?” Colter called.

“Don’t make me kill you in front of him, Russell,” you murmured so only the two of you would hear. You were serious as a heart attack. No matter how you had felt about him once upon a time, this was important enough for you to make good on your threat if you needed to.

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would and it will be justified by the higher ups as protection of a high-valued target before your body goes cold.” You hated saying the words but it was nothing but the truth that you spoke. You hoped he heard the message underneath your words: walk away, this isn’t worth dying over. “And he’ll be further traumatized,” you inclined your head in Colter’s direction. “Losing his brother right in front of him, just like he lost his dad.” You knew that was a severely low blow but he also needed to hear you. 

As expected, Russell’s jaw clenched and you saw a twitch in the good arm he had, the one that was holding his gun. “Don’t be stupid and do that to him,” you warned. “Walk away.”

That cold look was back in his eyes again. You mentally prepared yourself for what was about to go down. You had hoped he wouldn’t force your hand but then again, Russell Shaw had always been the epitome of stubborn, usually to his own detriment…and yours.   

“Russell?” Colter tried again.

“Russ, come on, man. Let it be for now,” Doug added in, trying to help. “And let’s regroup.”

This time, Russell appeared to hear them both, his gaze breaking from yours momentarily, flickering over Solano behind you, who was laughing and smirking in the former’s direction, clearly enjoying the standoff over him. 

Russell’s eyes met yours again but this time, there was nothing familiar about the green you used to stare into when he’d sway with you on the dance floor to a slow song playing overhead or when you’d both wear matching sated grins and laugh, a pleasant exhaustion overtaking you as he pulled you into his arms in a motel bed. It was almost like staring into a dark void and you couldn’t help but wonder how often that void showed up during war or if the war created it — the old chicken or the egg question. Either way, you knew you’d succeeded in convincing him to leave, but you’d also have to watch yourself. There was no warmth left in those jade-colored orbs when they focused on you. You’d done your work well; you’d crossed a line that you could never go back from.

“Alright,” he capitulated, loud enough that the two men near the doorway heard him. He relaxed his arm and slipped his gun into a pocket in his vest. His face lightened a little and a strained smile worked its way across his face. He glanced back at his brother. “She’s right. We should get Doug out of here.” He turned back to face you, his smile fading. “She’s got this.” He then glanced in Solano’s direction, smirking right back. “I’ll see you soon,” he promised, giving him a finger gun and winking, before his expression became stone once more and he walked away, glaring at you as he did.

You lifted your chin, not reacting in the slightest, until Solano shouted out, “You’ll be seeing me? No, puta, I’ll be seeing you. You’ll never see it coming, you hear me? You’ll never see it co—” You spun a few degrees and pistol-whipped him, causing the jackass to cry out in pain before you turned back to face Doug and the two most important men in your life. “Get going,” you growled out, lifting your phone with your other hand as a subtle threat.

Colter gave you a nod, the concern still there in his dark brown gaze as he led Doug out the door. Russell’s eyes never left you, even when he walked out the door a moment later, following his little brother’s lead. You never looked away even when he was past the threshold. 

You ignored Solano’s yelling threats and kept your eyes on the spot you had last seen the Shaws disappear through a few minutes longer than needed, tense and ready in case Russell decided to double back. Though you highly doubted he’d come at you from the same angle. A part of you was making sure you stayed prepared in case there was an ambush, yes, but another part of you knew your gaze was lingering on the spot because you knew things had now drastically changed between you and Russell forever. He would never forgive your threats and you would never forgive yourself for having to make them. Though that remorse was more related to Colter than his brother. Regardless, when it came to the Shaws now, you were fucked. Not even Dory would want to hear from you, not that she had all that much before, but now it was definitely a no go. And that saddened you tremendously.

Hearing more of Solano’s threats, you recentered your focus on the task at hand and prepared to wait, giving him one more pistol whip for good measure, before you settled in and kept both eyes and ears open for any possible ambush that might come your way before you could finish up here. 

You leaned against the workstation next to the chair, waiting, gun still in hand and your eyes focused on it. You had waited a certain amount of time to allow the boys to get out of the area.

“The soldado was right, you know. They’re not going to hold me,” Solano bragged.

You briefly closed your eyes in annoyance. He had been talking ever since you were left alone with him. He had offered you money to let him go, offered you riches and power that you knew for a fact he had no business offering. He even had the nerve to propose making you one of his new lieutenants, citing your fighting skills and gun handling that he’d briefly witnessed. He knew you would be able to protect him because you had from the asesinos who had killed his brother. He then changed tactics, threatening you, your loved ones, the men who just left…now, he was boasting about how he would walk free and whatever charges were thrown at him wouldn’t stick. You just wished he would shut the hell up already. Needless to say, it had been a long twenty minutes. You now understood why his brother had been the businessman and he was only the muscle willing to do the dirty work. His bargaining skills were for shit, not that it mattered in the scheme of things. No deals were being made today.

“I offer them a little bit of money and they’ll just make the case go away. Just like that.”

You checked your watch. Twenty two minutes now. That was good enough. You slowly got to your feet and moved past him to look out the window. You had purposely moved his chair out of the sight of the glass, in case Russell got any ideas.

“That’s how it works here in America. Everybody knows that. If the criminals have money and power, they don’t stay in jail.”

You ignored him, glancing around to see if there was any movement outside. You didn’t see any. 

“They won’t keep me locked up. They weren’t able to in my home country. What makes you think they’ll be able to here? Where corruption is ripe and anyone can be bought? And then I’ll be coming for you and for your friends. You will wish for death long before I am through with you.”

You made your way to another window, lifting the curtain and looking around. Still nothing.

“There’s no point in bringing me to jail. It will never hold me.”

You lowered the curtain and squared your shoulders, turning to face his direction. You focused on him, staring right into his eyes. “You know, I think you’re right.”

Solano seemed pleasantly surprised for a moment, thinking you were finally stupid enough to take one of his offers, before his eyes narrowed with realization. “No, wait—”

You quickly lifted your gun and squeezed off a round. His head snapped back from the force and the space behind him was spattered with red among other things. One glance confirmed your aim had been accurate; he was dead. Right through the eye. What you’d said to Russell earlier hadn’t been an exaggeration; you were much more accurate at close range than you’d ever been.

You slipped a pair of gloves on that you pulled from your pants pocket and immediately started unzipping the small compartments on the side of your vest where you usually kept extra ammo in a raid, pulling out small white bottles that weren’t sporting any labels. You began to squirt the liquid from inside them all around the room, dousing Solano’s body with a healthy amount.

You continued into the house, having quite a few bottles of lighter fluid to empty out in specific areas that would help achieve your goal. Arson wasn’t your preferred route but it did get rid of pesky little things like hair and DNA, and what it didn’t, it contaminated which would make it harder for not only law enforcement but the justice system to work with. Though you weren’t too worried about either looking at this particular house fire too closely.

You didn’t bother collecting any bullet casings, knowing that your gun and the ones you’d given Colter to use would be untraceable even if they somehow managed to get a hold of any of the weapons (which they wouldn’t). And Russell’s gun…you figured he had that handled. The only thing you did collect were your handcuffs. 

You also didn’t bother staging anything for the scene. There was already enough evidence that pointed to the theory that Solano’s own men had turned on him and a gunfight ensued, resulting in the multiple dead bodies. While an arson specialist would most likely be able to tell that an accelerant had been used, there was no way for them to confirm just who had been present for this battle and who had gotten away. Satellite imagery would be shoddy at best due to the foliage cover (and eventual smoke) but still, you planned to set the fire and make your getaway out the back, crossing over the landing strip so if they went back to look for any heat signatures after the fire started, it would be one person leaving the scene alive, the person they would assume had started the blaze. There were no nearby neighbors to immediately call first responders but that didn’t mean smoke wouldn’t be seen from the sky from miles away or that a fiery orange blaze in the distance wouldn’t be noticed by residents of another vacation home or cars traveling the backroads in the area. Since you planned to go into the deep woods and take the long roundabout route back to your car, you weren’t too worried about your path being followed.

Once you had completed all of your tasks, you used the fireplace to help, moving the grate out of the way, starting a fire, and then knocking a fiery log onto the wooden flooring. You used a lighter to set flammable materials that you could find to add to the flames. Only when the room was nearly engulfed did you finally slip a beanie from your pocket, cover your head fully, and make your way out of the house. Once at the landing strip, you ducked under the plane, making sure you couldn’t be seen from above. 

You watched as the flames consumed the house. Once the smoke was sufficient, flames were ragings out of the windows, and the sound of breaking glass could be heard, you knew it was time for you to vacate the vicinity before the sirens started up. It was fortunate that most people were asleep at this hour but the sun was due to come up not too long from now and you had a long trek ahead of you, so you needed to get moving.

You kept your head down and made your way into the woods surrounding the property line. 

The sun was breaching the horizon and quickly warming the sky by the time you made it back to your car. You were relieved that Colter’s truck was gone and you needed to quickly make tracks as well. Sirens had started up an hour ago and you needed to get the hell out of Dodge before the cops were all over these roads. You tossed your weapons and vest into the trunk and got in the car. You slipped your beanie off your head, tossing it onto the seat next to you, and started the engine.

Just as you had expected, cops were everywhere but thankfully, you had timed it just right and gotten out before they could block all of the mountain roads. Once you were back in town a few hours later and a certain distance away, you pulled a phone out of your glove compartment you kept there for emergencies and turned it on. You pressed a button and it immediately dialed the number programmed — the only number you had saved on this device. 

It rang once before the same voice from yesterday picked up. “Is it done?”

“We’re clear,” you confirmed. “It’s been handled.”

“Shaw?”

Your jaw clenched. You knew that despite how you and Russell had left things earlier, you would do whatever it took to keep him breathing. “He’s a soldier. He follows orders.”

“He wasn’t so willing to follow orders in this situation.”

“You know what they’re taught. Leave no man behind. He got his man so he’ll be fine. Things can go back to how they were. He’s not going to be an issue and he’s clean, just like you wanted.”

And then you were asked the one question you didn’t want to hear. “And the brother? What’s your assessment?”

The knuckles of your free hand gripped your steering wheel so tightly that you could see how white your skin turned from the pressure. “Non-issue. He has no interest in you.”

“He seemed interested yesterday.”

You forced yourself to remain calm and nonchalant. “He’s paid to be nosy when someone goes missing so he can get them found. He found who he was looking for, he was able to keep the promise to the guy’s wife — it’s over for him. The case is closed, it’s as simple as that for him. He’s no threat.”

You waited to hear a response, holding your breath and your hand gripping the wheel even tighter, your body tensed. This would be what decided your fate. Either you would be allowed to go on as before or you’d be going on a mission up against one of the top private security contractor firms in the world which wouldn’t end well for you. But you’d take out whoever you could with you before you were killed.

Another moment passed before the voice replied, “Understood.”

Your body relaxed slightly and your shoulders sunk in relief. Colter was safe. Russell was safe…for now. And you didn’t have to go all Rambo Kamikaze on anyone. Win-win all around.

“I’ll let the higher ups know the situation has been contained. Good work. We’ll be in touch.”

Without waiting for a response from you, the call disconnected. You quickly shut the phone off and tossed it back into its original spot. You let out a deep breath and the exhaustion from the past twelve hours immediately overtook your body. Deciding that returning to your place was not an option for you right now, you headed to another part of town, parked your car on the street some blocks away to the nearest motel, and using a baseball cap to cover your hair along with sunglasses, you hoofed it and then booked a room, paying cash and using a fake name. Once you set up everything you needed to in your quarters, you slipped onto the mattress and got some much needed rest, keeping your gun under your pillow within reach should you need it.

You pulled up to Colter’s trailer, watching as he stepped outside to greet you. You put your car in park, took a deep breath, and got out. You offered Colter a small smile. “Hey.”

He returned it. “Hey.”

You had been surprised when Colter called you a few days later to let you know he was still in town for a bit and invited you to drop by for a beer. Not surprised that he was still around (you already knew that) but surprised that he even wanted to speak to you. Perhaps Russell hadn’t told him what you’d threatened back in the mountains.

You took the beer he offered to you and followed him over to the firepit, taking a seat on one of the coolers. He sat nearby and held up his bottle in a toast. You mirrored him and then you both took a sip. You nearly sighed in satisfaction as the carbonated beverage slid down your throat. You enjoyed the taste and checked the label. “Mmm, home brew…not bad. You got something you want to tell me? Planning on opening some sort of brewery outfit anytime soon?” You were teasing but if Colter really was thinking of doing something else — anything else — instead of his current job, you’d fully support it.

“Not me.” Disappointment flared in your chest, your hope dashed. “Russ was actually the one who made it. I had some left over from the other night.”

The beer suddenly began to sour in your stomach. Well, you supposed it was good that Russell was starting to think of the future, the most important part of that being that there would be one. It still burned a bit, though.

You decided to change the subject so you wouldn’t have to think about that right then. “So, your guy is back home safe?”

Colter nodded. “Dropped him off myself.” Something else you already knew but you had to keep up appearances.

You nodded, biting your lip and staring into the flames. “And your brother?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Colter’s jaw tense for a moment. “Gone.” Though you had an idea that was the case, Colter’s confirmation still stung, like someone poking a finger into an old wound after ripping the scar tissue away. But what else had you expected? This was Russell Shaw you two were talking about after all.

You snorted and shook your head, taking another swig of beer. “Of course he is.”

He turned to look at you. “You know, you never told me what happened between you two.”

You shrugged a shoulder. “Not worth going into, trust me.”

Thankfully, Colter left it alone and he rolled with it when you brought up a different topic instead. 

“So, how much longer are you here for?”

“Teddi and Velma are working on that right now actually. Hopefully, something pops up soon.” He took another sip of beer, turning to gaze at the flames as well.

“It will.” Fortunately for him and sadly for others, someone would always go missing.

“How about you? Are they sending you somewhere for a new case or are they going to let you stay local for a bit? If it’s the latter, maybe you could get a dog for that place of yours?”

You smirked and ran your thumb down the smooth glass of the brown bottle in your hand. Colter kept teasing you about the residence you maintained nearby considering you were never really there most of the time. He’d then extoll the virtues of living on the open road, not having roots put down anywhere that would grow into expectations, and the unrestrained thrill of it all. The first time you’d had that conversation, you knew then that the desire to keep moving and stay unburdened must be a male Shaw thing. Dory seemed happy where she had settled and you — you wanted a home base. Some place you could come back to where you were still able to connect to yourself again, no matter how lost at sea you might be at times, no matter how much you felt as if every single piece of you was floating away on the wind until only a monster was left standing there, staring back at you in the rearview mirror of your car.

“Right now, I have a few things I need to close up,” you lied. “Then I’ll probably get sent out in the field again to work some cases.” You hated lying to him but you had no choice. His safety came first. As much as you had hated Russell for a time, you could now appreciate the difficult position he was in. Though, he had chosen to be put there, and now, so had you. 

You watched Colter nod, accepting your answer. “I still think a German Shepherd would be a great choice for you,” he teased. “You know, a big dog, trainable, would make a good guard dog. You could take it with you, chase suspects down together...”

“Oh yeah, I could see it now,” you played along. “I’d have to sneak him into hotel rooms, make sure he doesn’t take a shit on the rug… Then we’d go on the job and I could introduce him to everyone, ‘I’m Special Agent Y/L/N but you can call me Turner and this is my partner Hooch.’”

Colter winced. “No, no. You have to give him a name that will strike fear into the hearts of the criminals you track down. Like General or Commando or Killer. Killer! Now that’s a good name. That will make anyone think twice about running from a dog with that name.”

This time, you were the one who winced though you hid it well. Instead, you forced out a laugh. “I am not getting a huge dog named Killer and bringing him to work with me.”

He grinned. “That’s a shame. I would have loved to have seen the look on your face when the dog would sit in the front seat.”

“There would be no front seat sitting. Back seat only.”

“Like a criminal who he just helped you to arrest? That’s cold, even for you.”

“I am so glad that you have this imaginary dog of mine’s back.”

He snickered and took a drink, looking back at the flames. Your smile slowly faded as you did the same. You both sat there, drinking in a companionable silence for a bit.

Eventually, your eyes flickered over towards him. “I need you to promise me something.”

His brows drew together questioningly when he met your gaze.

“Horizon…” You noticed him tense slightly at the mention. “No more.” When you saw the confusion in his expression, you elaborated. “No more digging, no more Reenie asking her contacts about them, no more mention of them period. You got the guy you were looking for. Now, put it to bed and forget that you ever knew they existed.”

His confusion increased. “I did put it to bed the second I dropped Doug off at his door and saw him hug his wife.”

You gave him a look. “Col, I need you to promise me,” you softly entreated. 

His brows arched slightly at the use of the nickname; you didn’t use it often and if you were, then he knew you meant business. He also knew what you were telling him without explicitly saying it; Horizon was dangerous and they were better left alone. It would be better for him to get a case of sudden amnesia about anything related to the organization.

He watched you for a moment before giving you a nod. “As long as nobody else goes missing like Doug did and as long as Russ is okay, they’re forgotten.”

You knew that was the best you were going to get from him and you leaned forward slightly. “And if anything happens to Russ, I’ll be right there with you, knocking on their front door,” you promised. And you would be; no question about it.

The corner of his lips tipped up in the beginning of a smile and after a moment, you couldn’t help but return it. 

The coffee shop you were in was decently quiet considering it was around 8:55 in the morning and most people were making their last minute dashes for caffeine before the working day began. You sat near the window, facing the entrance so you could keep an eye on who came in and out. You had ordered your usual, a soy vanilla latte, and you carefully sipped at the hot liquid. You scanned your phone for the day’s headlines, looking for any updates on the mysterious house fire that started in the mountains a few nights ago.  

You knew you wouldn’t find any and sure enough, you didn’t. Someone was working overtime to squash the case from up above, just like you knew they would. You also knew that some local law enforcement officials didn’t buy the criminals-turning-on-their-boss theory and they actually thought the scene looked like a professional hit. Exactly what you figured would happen when accelerants had been found to be used at the scene. As much as you were sure the cops were looking to sink their teeth into something exciting to happen in those parts in however long, the bottom line was the case would get dropped and no one was going to care what happened to a violent criminal like Carlos Solano. The FBI would actually be relieved to remove one more name from their list, one more file from their desks. One more dangerous bad guy removed from the world that threatened American citizens as well as national security. No one was going to miss the murderous bastard.

You powered down your screen and placed your phone on the table, turning to glance out the window. That was when you saw him. Well, the reflection of him. 

You watched as he walked towards you, still dressed in a ratty pair of jeans and old boots, wearing another t-shirt with a different musician on it while sporting an open button-up over it, and donning that old military style jacket. His eyes were intent on you and you had to wonder how he had gotten in without you seeing him. The answer was in the reflection of someone walking past him to get to the bathrooms in the rear of the cafe. There was no exit located near there, you knew that because this was a local spot of yours, so how did he… Shit.

Even though you watched him in the glass and he watched you back, you didn’t give anything away to alert him that you knew he was there. You started calculating in your head how many people stood in between you and the front door (your only exit at this point), how much force you would have to use to catch him off guard and knock him to the ground so you could make your escape, and how fast you would have to run to your car. You even had a moment to debate drawing your gun and your badge, and making a scene to get yourself out of this mess. But all of that proved to be for naught when he came to a stop near you and announced his presence by asking, “This seat taken?”

You slowly turned to face him, arching an inquisitive brow, but you eventually shook your head. His lips twitched into the beginning of a smirk and he took the seat across from you. His eyes were a lot lighter than they were the other day as they took you in. “Looking good, Y/N. Like always.”

Your eyes narrowed. “Really?”

He shrugged and reached for your coffee, taking the lid off. You hated it when he did this, the whole sharing coffee thing; now you would need to order another one…well, depending on how this impromptu meeting went. “What, I can’t tell my girl that she looks good?” He took a sip and made a face. “How do you still drink this crap? It tastes like foam mixed with shit.”

“And free garbage coffee from the lobby of the latest scuzzy motel you’re staying in doesn’t?”

“Hey, don’t knock it. They have real nice machines now and it tastes the way coffee should. Not like this bullshit.”

You watched as he grabbed a spoon, added some sugar, and began stirring the crap out of what had once been your perfect latte. You thought over what he’d said before. “I’m not your girl, Russell.” His eyes met yours. “I haven’t been for some time now.”

He finished stirring and removed the spoon, lifting the glass to take a sip. “You’ll always be my girl.”

You snorted and lifted a finger in the air to signal to the barista that you wanted another coffee. The kid gave you a nod and turned to make it. “Is that what you tell yourself when you’re hooking up with cheerleaders-turned-dental-hygienists in hot tubs?”

Russell pressed his lips together and looked appropriately chastised, not even bothering to deny it. “Colter told you. I should’ve known he would mention it. You two were always close like that.”   

You didn’t confirm or deny that. There was no point in mentioning that Colter hadn’t been the one to tell you, not intentionally anyway. Instead, you leaned forward in your chair. “What do you want, Russell?”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?” You snapped. You had been on edge, thinking he was here to either kill you or threaten you. Then him hitting on you and making that asinine and incredibly presumptuous statement bothered you more than you cared to admit. Not to mention he pissed you off when he took the latte you’d decided to treat yourself with after a few difficult days (without even asking you might add), knowing how that had irked you anytime he did it when you were dating. It was like the man was begging you to put a foot in his ass.

Russell glanced around briefly before removing something from inside his jacket. It was a folded up newspaper and he slapped it down in front of you. A picture of a burnt out structure stared back up at you with the headline reading above it “House Fire Claims 8 Lives, Sheriff Confirms Arson”. Your eyes met his and in that moment, you knew that he knew.

You refused to give it away just like that, though. If he wanted the truth, he’d have to work for it. He wasn’t getting anything for free, not from you, not anymore. You gave him a smirk. “Is this your way of telling me that you’ve finally learned to read, Russ? I’m impressed, really.”

Instead of being insulted, his eyes widened slightly. “You called me Russ.”

You sat back in your chair, pushing the newspaper away from you and prying eyes, waiting for the barista making his way over to you to deliver your coffee. “Slip of the tongue. Won’t happen again.” You smiled at the young kid in thanks when he placed the drink down in front of you and promptly slid your glass out of Russell’s reach. He saw it and immediately worked to smother a smile as the kid walked away.

“So, you got any more interesting tricks I should know about?”

Without any preamble, Russell said, “Solano’s dead,” the exact second you took a sip of your new coffee. If he was expecting any reaction to the news, he was in for disappointment when you didn’t give it.

“Yes, I heard. Quite unfortunate.”

“They’re all dead actually. Even that guard we subdued in the beginning.”

You remembered; you’d been the one to kill him after all. Once Russell and Colter got to their feet after knocking the guard out and started moving towards the house, you quietly pulled a knife and slipped the blade into the side of the man’s head. You’d cut his zip ties, removed them and the gag, and then caught up to the guys — all within seconds. You had made sure to move the guard’s body inside later, right before you’d started the fire, trying your best to get rid of any drag marks you’d left on the ground. You were there to clean up the mess, not leave witnesses, even if they had never seen any of you coming.

You nodded. “I know, I heard that, too. Is there a point here somewhere or can I get back to the nice morning I was having before you showed up to steal my coffee?”

Russell was the one to lean forward this time, lowering his voice even further. “You said you were calling in the FBI for a pickup. Who did you really call?”

You could tell he was trying to give you an out, an opportunity to explain that it wasn’t what he was thinking, and maybe you should have lied your ass off…but you no longer wanted to. You knew Russell; he wasn’t going to let this go until he had an answer that he deemed to be the truth. And while you could give him a distorted version of that truth that didn’t land at your feet, a petty part of you wanted him to know. 

“Y/N?” He pressed. “Who did you call?”

You sat back in your chair, considering him for a moment before you spoke. “No one.”

Russell dropped his head, briefly closing his eyes. “Fuck, I was afraid of that.” He glanced up at you, his eyes full of a sadness you hadn’t seen in some time. You knew he wouldn’t be happy if he ever found out the truth, but not to this extent. “I told you to walk away and let me handle it.” His voice was softer, not as gruff as before. You realized then that you’d accomplished what that vindictive side of you had wanted all along, ever since the day he walked away; you’d hurt him and caused him pain. Pain that you could see clear as day lining his face right now. He wasn’t even trying to hide it. And quite frankly, that pain caught you off guard. After all of this time, this is what it took for him to feel even a sliver of what you’d felt back in the day when he’d left you bleeding, your heart torn from your chest and sitting in pieces on the floor he’d just casually walked over to get to the door?

Not really sure what to make of this development or the emotions it caused to rise up within you, you went into pure professional mode and forged ahead. “The three of you didn’t need to be involved.” You could see the pain getting worse and it made you uncomfortable, something prodding at your chest and itching at your skin that you really didn’t care for. “Besides, last I checked, I don’t take orders from you, Shaw.” You threw his last name in there as a last resort to put even more distance there between you.

His eyes flicked from the newspaper to you. “Who do you take orders from then? Something tells me this wasn’t FBI-sanctioned.” 

You surreptitiously glanced around you before leaning in, lowering your voice.“You know, going to your handler’s house during her kid’s birthday party was a pretty bad idea. Ann really didn’t like that.” You watched as Russell’s eyes widened slightly before his face fell, a dreaded realization filling his expression. He had never mentioned her name to you before and he knew Colter hadn’t mentioned her to you either when giving you the rundown of what they knew before meeting up in the mountains. You sat back, tensed and ready for whatever came next. 

His jaw clenched. “How long?” He ground out.

“Long enough.”

You kept your gaze trained on his and you did your best to read him, trying to assess what he might do, now that the pain was all but absent since your revelation. Would he tell you to watch your back and leave? Would he tell you to stay away from Colter for good? It was hard to gauge from the way he was staring at you right then. You could see anger bubbling underneath but you also caught something coming to the surface that strangely looked like remorse. Considering you hadn’t seen that emotion on him too often, it was tough to be sure in your identification of it. And then something flickered in his eyes right then, something so fast you almost didn’t catch it, but you did. Fear that quickly dissolved into determination. You braced yourself for whatever he would say or do; this was it. This would determine your next steps.

Instead, he surprised you once more. He snatched the newspaper up and slipped it back into his jacket, before reaching over and taking your hand in his. “I’m getting you out of here. Now. Let’s go.”

Stunned, you wordlessly got to your feet but then it hit you, you were about to go somewhere alone with him. Not that you couldn’t handle yourself but he had still been Special Ops once upon a time and he killed people for a living…just like you. 

“Russell, I’m not—”

“Yes, you are,” he growled. “I’m getting you as far from here as I can. I’ve got a buddy who has a cabin in upstate New York. It’s got months-long supplies, power and running water, and a small armory. You’ll be safe there until this whole thing blows over.”

You yanked your hand out of his and grabbed your phone and jacket. “I’m plenty safe here. I have no reason to run, so I’m staying. You want to leave? Go right ahead. We both know it’s what you’re best at.” The sadness was back but you looked away from it. Yes, that had been another low blow but it was also well-deserved. You moved past him, refusing to look over your shoulder even once. There was no way he’d do anything out in the open; he wouldn’t dare risk it, especially now.

You slipped into your car, not surprised in the least when Russell got in on the other side before you could even think about locking the doors.

“What are you doing?” You hissed.

“What’s it look like?” He clicked his seatbelt. “I’m staying with you until you agree to my plan to get you someplace safe or you explain how the hell this even happened.” He pulled out the newspaper, holding it up for a moment before tossing it to the floor. You could see the determined set to his jaw and you knew he meant it. 

“Russell,” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “I do not have time for this.” You blew out a quiet breath and turned to face him. “Now I suggest you get out of my car or—”

“You’ll shoot me?” He shot you a look. Yeah, he was still pissed about the threats you’d made a few nights ago. You supposed you couldn’t blame him but you did what you had to do to get him and his brother out of there. You had regrets but they were slim. “We both know you won’t.”

That infuriated you and had you seething. “You think I won’t?”

“I know you won’t. Just like I know that no matter how much you tell yourself that you hate me, you really don’t.”

You scoffed out a laugh in disbelief. “Wow, you really are incredibly delusi—”

“I also know you would never do that to my brother.” Your glare in his direction intensified. “You’ve always been protective of him. Just like me.” A glimmer of a fond smile worked its way onto his bearded face.

Your jaw clenched and you looked away from him, back towards the coffee shop you had just stormed out of, your grip tightening on your steering wheel. It was true; you’d always looked out for Colter in some way ever since you’d gotten to know him through Russell. 

While the relationship between the brothers had been strained for years, it didn’t mean that there hadn’t been a couple of times where Dory hadn’t attempted to get them into a room together to try to fix what had been broken. In one such instance, Russell had brought you along, after shocking you by asking you two nights before to accompany him. The man had spent over a decade in the military, worked Special Ops, and there wasn’t much he was afraid of, if at all. But when you were wrapping leftovers to throw into the fridge and he’d laid a hand on your shoulder, turning you to face him, you’d never seen Russell Shaw look so worried, vulnerable, and damn near terrified in all of the time you’d known him. You’d even felt it when he’d enfolded you into his arms and whispered into your ear that he was due to meet up with his family in the next two days, asking you to come with him. How could you say no to that? You knew of the family’s tragic history and the simmering tensions that still existed between the Shaws who were still alive; Russell had told you everything, even about how his mom had hung him out to dry (though he made excuses for her which made you grind your teeth). And for him to ask you to go, to meet his family, you knew then just how important this was for him. So you went, squeezed his hand in silent support whenever he appeared to need it, and did your best to provide distraction whenever things got a little too tense or heated. Dory didn’t care for you too much; you got the distinct feeling that she wasn’t happy Russell had brought an interloper to a family-only discussion. But Colter…Colter you got along with from the start. 

Colter seemed happier to talk to you than his brother and you could tell that bothered Russell tremendously. He had told you once how much he missed his siblings at times, especially his little brother, and he would never stop hoping to patch things up with them one day. Sure enough, he tried to interject into the conversation a few times with you helping as much as you could, but each time Colter shut him down. It was blatantly obvious that the younger man wanted nothing to do with him and there was definitely some resentment still floating around after years of estrangement. Needless to say, things hadn’t ended well at that dinner and you weren’t surprised that Russell drank a little heavier that night. Nor were you surprised when he grasped at you in the hotel room and pulled you to him, his lips claiming yours as he began unbuttoning your shirt and moving you towards the bed. You knew he was hurting and you let him take solace in you as you whispered loving assurances in his ear. 

After that, Colter surprised you by calling you a couple of months down the road, apologetically asking for your help on a case he had picked up. Though he didn’t know you well, he was in a rough spot and needed a helping hand, particularly a Federal one. You saw the opportunity for what it had been, an opening of a possible door between him and Russell, so you took it. You helped Colter as much as you could without risking being read the riot act by your superior, and you two got to know each other better as you worked together. It happened a few more times and you had even called Colter in to assist on a case of your own that you had snagged. You had gone for beers afterwards each time and you’d tried your best to talk to him, to convince him to give Russell a chance. He hadn’t been interested, was resistant to it even, but he liked you and he was starting to trust you a little more each time. He’d even reluctantly admitted once that he was glad his brother had you, immediately following up with “He better be treating you right, though.” You had simply smiled and assured him that Russell very much was. 

You didn’t mention the odd absences a few times a month (sometimes with little to no warning), the radio silence during these stints, and the avoidance of any penetrating questions upon his return — all of it that had become conditional to your relationship by that point. And Russell certainly wasn’t happy at all to find out you’d been working with Colter once you told him. You both had arguments before like any common couple but nothing like this. You had never seen him so angry and he’d laughed when you told him he had no need to be jealous if that was what he was worried about, you loved him and you were trying to make things better for the both of them, to pave the way for him to be able to make peace with his brother. 

“You just don’t get it.” 

He had shaken his head and glared over at you before he walked out of the room, away from you. From then on, Russell became even more secretive, distant, and cold as ice. Gone was the easy affection, heart to heart talks, and playful banter between you. Gone were the tender touches, gentle kisses, and passionate sex. The love of your life turned into a stranger right before your very eyes. It hadn’t been too long after that when he’d left for good, leaving your heart shattered on your hardwood floor. As time passed, you were surprised he hadn’t just packed up and left in the middle of the night while you were sleeping, without a single word to you and completely ghosting you, since he had been intent on leaving you in his past. It might have been kinder actually compared to the things he’d said to you as a final goodbye before walking away for good. 

So whenever you had dared to think back on it over the last few years, you’d always figured the fight over Colter had contributed in some way to the rapid unraveling of your relationship. Well, that fight and…other things.

“Let’s go somewhere we can talk,” Russell urged, breaking you out of your thoughts. “Come on, Y/N, you owe me that at least.”

You turned the most menacing glare on him that was possible for you to give someone. “I don’t owe you shit,” you bit out. How dare he say that? To you of all people?  

His jaw tightened and after a moment, he agreed with a soft nod. “Fair enough.” 

You broke away from his intent gaze a minute later, your decision made as you turned the car on. “You know what? If this will get you out of my life for good this time, then fine. Let’s talk. And don’t be so sure I won’t shoot you afterwards should you continue to piss me off. You’re right, I do care about Colter,” You scowled over at him. “But not that deeply.”

Russell matched your scowl but wisely kept quiet as you backed your car out of your parking spot. You felt an immediate surge of guilt for having said that about his younger brother. You did care about Colter, more than you would ever admit to anyone, even your ex. There was nothing remotely romantic between you two; there never had been and there never would be. But Russell had been right; you were protective of him. Not only because he was a good man but he also reminded you of someone you had lost long ago. You would bend over backwards to keep him safe (as safe as you could given his chosen career), even if it meant putting yourself in harm’s way. He had truly become like a brother to you. 

But you had also meant what you said just now. If Russell continued to irritate you, there was no way he was leaving this time without you putting a bullet in him. Right in his ass before the door could hit it when he turned his back on you for the last time. That or a good old fashioned ass kicking in the form of your right hook. After everything he’d done, he deserved nothing less.  

You pulled up to a local motel that you had booked a room at the last few days, in case you needed to close up shop and haul ass out of town quickly. It wasn’t the same establishment you had gone to the morning of the fire and you still had your place thirty minutes away, but you had learned it was always best to prepare for any eventuality. Especially after a job needing to be done so close to home. You had seen what happened with Doug; who was to say Horizon wouldn’t leave you out to dry, too, should the heat from the fire get a little too close?

You got out and headed over to the door, unlocking it and stepping inside, not looking back to see if Russell was following you. Neither of you had spoken on the ride over (which was probably for the best) and you didn’t glance at him once. Instead, you had done your damndest to tamp down the fury you felt racing through your veins as more and more memories played out in your mind. Now that Russell had a vague idea of the truth of what you had been doing all of this time, everything you had ever wanted to say to him seemed to be trying to rush to the surface as well as all of the pain you had endured.

You slipped your suit jacket off and tossed it onto the bedspread. You heard the door shut behind you and you spun around, seeing Russell’s eyes scanning the room, stopping on the bed, and then lifting to you. You scoffed and unbuttoned the sleeves of your blouse, rolling them up to your forearms. “Not happening so don’t even think about it,” you hissed.

“Wasn’t going there.”

You didn’t believe him. “Right.” You took a seat at the table and impatiently gestured to the seat across from you. “Well?”

He sat down and without missing a beat, dove right in. “How the hell did this even happen, Y/N?”

“Really? That’s what you’re starting out with?”

Russell shot you a look.

You let out an aggravated sigh and sat back in your chair, crossing your legs and getting comfortable. “I was recruited, not too long after you left.”

His jaw dropped. “They approached you?”

Nodding, your jaw tightened thinking back to that time. It wasn’t a memory you liked revisiting. You were at your lowest, Russell having just walked out like the four and a half years you’d spent together hadn’t meant a damn thing to him. He had been it for you. You had put everything you had into the relationship, which proved to be a difficult balancing act sometimes between your career at the Bureau and Russell’s job that he wouldn’t tell you too much about. You both had overcome so much together…all for him to tell you that he simply didn’t love you anymore, give you a shitty apology, and walk right out the door years later. Like you had simply been an amusing distraction, nothing more. Like you had merely been a stopping point in his journey and now he was bored and moving on. The breakup would’ve hurt regardless but the cold detached manner he’d spoken to you with caused more pain than you would have ever been willing to admit. It was a good thing you had already become a Special Agent by then, not stuck to any one location or field office, given how often you were hungover for some weeks there. You had attempted to track him down (which hadn’t been easy) to try to talk to him, to make him see reason; you didn’t believe that he had stopped loving you just like that. But when you had finally located him, he had been holed up in a dingy motel, similar to this one, but he wasn’t alone. That had hurt beyond words and it had taken everything for you not to say anything, not to let him see you, and turn back around, heading home with your tail between your legs and your head hanging in heartbroken defeat. 

None of it made sense to you. How had your life changed so drastically in a single day? Perhaps you had never really known Russell Shaw. Perhaps you only saw what he wanted you to see. But when you replayed the last few weeks of your relationship, even the fight over Colter, something still wasn’t jiving. So you buried yourself in work during the day and as deep into the bottle as you could during the late nights. Until they showed up.

“And you said yes?” He asked in disbelief.

Your eyes flicked to Russell, narrowing. “Why not? You did.”

He pressed his lips together. You had him there and he knew it. “That was different.”

“How?” You snapped. “Exactly how is that different, Russell?”

“I joined them long before you and I met.” Yeah, you knew that now. You knew everything he hadn’t told you the time you’d been together, minus the actual details of the off the books missions he went on. You now knew why Doug had never told Tracy anything either. Not only were they not allowed to, but It was safer that way.

“Well, bully for you, Shaw. You’ve got a few years on me at being a black ops agent and you’ve racked up a few more bodies than I have. Told way more lies, too. Congrats. Do we get you a cake or…?”

He leaned forward, covering your hand with his. “Stop. Just…talk to me,” he pleaded gently.

You hated it when he did that because you hated that it still affected you on some deep level. You rolled your eyes and moved your hand from underneath his, placing it in your lap. “They approached me about six months out from when you left.”

“Who approached you?”

Yeah, you weren’t giving him that. If you did, you knew he’d be on their doorstep in a second and that you couldn’t have. Not after you had just cleaned up the Solano mess and smoothed things over. “Doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.” You knew that, could see it in his expression, but too bad. You both were in it now, had signed NDA’s, and details like that were meant to stay confidential anyway. 

“Someone did and that’s all you're getting.” You gave him a meaningful look. “Regardless, they offered me a job and I took it.”

You watched as Russell’s features tightened. “And the FBI thing?”

“Still active, though I’m now kept more as an ear to the ground, providing information and cleanup when need be.” You noticed a slight wince cross across his face. “They’re the ones I answer to and they’ve chosen to keep me there for the time being. I’m more effective in that setup.” Those words from your handler still burned you but over time, you had been able to adapt and utilize their refusal to fully bring you in to your advantage.

“And Solano and his men? Were they cleanup?”

You didn’t break away from his penetrating gaze and gave it to him straight. “You and Doug made quite a mess of things. So, yes, I was called in to clean it up.” He briefly closed his eyes in the same pain you had seen earlier, though you couldn’t fathom why. It had been nearly three years since he’d last professed to give a shit about you. Why would this even affect him? “Horizon wanted you kept clean and Doug was on his own. Then you idiotically showed up at Ann’s residence, not only tipping them off to the fact that you were sniffing around where you shouldn’t have been but then you allowed Colter to threaten them. You had to know that was going to ruffle quite a few feathers and put a target on your backs.”

His jaw clenched again and that dark void was back in his gaze. His fingers twitched near his phone and you knew he was itching to call his brother to check on him. “And they sent you to clean that up, too?”

You slowly shook your head. “No.” If they had, you wouldn’t be sitting here right now. Most likely, you’d be dead while Colter and Russell would hopefully be on the run or have gone into hiding. “Only to assess what threats you both posed to the organization.”

“And what was your assessment?” He watched you carefully. In this moment, you weren’t former lovers. You were two people with lethal skills and training, willing to do whatever it took to keep your loved ones safe, even from each other. 

You never broke away from his gaze, watching him back just as carefully. “What do you think?”

He stayed quiet for a moment, looking pensive and most likely turning your words over in his mind. You weren’t going to say it but knowing that gnawing feeling of constantly worrying about someone you cared deeply about, you wanted to make sure you both were on the same page of this topic. “And, Russell, if they had sent me for that, I never would.” His gaze immediately met yours. “Ever,” you promised. 

His eyes roamed over your face, most likely assessing if you were bullshitting him or telling the truth. Obviously having decided on the latter, after a minute or so, he gave you a nod. “How do you know they accepted your assessment, though? There’s no way they don’t know about you and Colter, you and me…”

This time, your jaw was the one clenching. Yeah, you were made aware of that fact when you had been approached for recruitment. That was how they knew about you, your career as a Federal agent, and how you had been involved with Russell once upon a time. When you found out more about Horizon from the inside, it didn’t surprise you one bit how deeply they dove into the background of their candidates or the amount of information they gathered on them. You’d even helped put together a few files yourself, without fully knowing what unit the candidates were being considered for of course. They kept a close watch on their assets and that was putting it lightly. 

So when you got involved with Russell, completely oblivious to what you were really getting into, Horizon had already scoped you out as well as Colter, Dory, their mother, Bobby, Reenie, Teddi, Velma — everyone. Even Colter’s on-again/off-again, Billie, and the mysterious circumstances of the death of the boys’ father. They knew it all. Horizon didn’t like surprises and you supposed you couldn’t blame them considering their line of work, but it also meant that you and everyone you cared about needed to be extra careful. 

It was one of the many reasons you couldn’t completely forgive Russell, though you now understood why he’d walked out when he did. Things had unraveled so badly between you that you’d started quietly digging into Horizon, not trusting what Russell had told you prior. Back then, you thought you’d find only what Russell had claimed: private security, perhaps a couple of Special Ops situations where an American hostage was retrieved in another country, or worse: he was lying to you and having an affair. Now, you knew he had told you the truth — a very scrubbed, limited version of the truth that omitted most of what he really did for the outfit. You remembered what he’d told you about a week and a half before he left. 

“You need to stop digging.” 

You looked upon him with confusion. One minute, you had been having a very tense and silent dinner where you could only hear forks scraping against the plates every so often, and the next, Russell was glaring over at you, speaking cryptically. “What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. You need to stop looking into Horizon and leave it alone. I mean it, Y/N. Let it be.” His eyes bored into you with warning before he got up from the table and took his plate into the kitchen, leaving you to finish your meal alone.    

Normally, you wouldn’t have listened, determined to get to the bottom of Russell’s mysterious employer, but considering how your relationship was hanging by a thread at that point, you did. Despite the warning bells going off in your head, you did as exactly as he said: you let it be. 

You suddenly remembered Russell’s question to you. “You’re still breathing, aren’t you?”

Russell affected a slow nod, thinking it over. “And Colter?”

“I told them he’s no threat,” you murmured. “I talked to him, told him to forget they exist. He agreed as long as you were safe.”

For the first time since this conversation started, you could see Russell start to relax a bit, relief saturating his features. Even a small smile started to light up the tension in his face. While you could understand the feeling, share it even, something about it had you on your feet, walking over to the small refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of water from the six pack you had tossed in there when you booked the room. You held one up in an offer but Russell shook his head. 

“I’m good.”

You shrugged, unsurprised, and twisted off the cap, taking a drink. It made sense that he was still being cautious. Before you knew it, though, he was standing in front of you, that pleading yet determined look in his eyes again. 

“I want to get you out.”

You snorted. “There is no getting out, Russell. Not for me, anyway. Not until they’re done with me.”

He took a step closer and gently took the water bottle from you, placing it on the counter, and grasped your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “There’s always an exit strategy,” he murmured. “I never wanted this for you, Y/N. I only ever wanted to keep you safe. That’s why I left.”

Yeah, you knew that now, too. “I know that now. Why you wouldn’t tell me certain things about your job, but, Jesus, Russell. Did you really think they didn’t already know about me and who I was to you? Colter even? Dory? Your mom?”

He let out a deep sigh and hung his head, letting your chin go. “I know. I… It was a good fit for me at the time, the money was good — that’s why I hooked Doug up with them. But seeing how they hung him out to dry at the first opportunity and now you,” He tenderly ran his thumb along your cheek. “I’m seriously starting to rethink that decision.”

You pulled away from him. “It doesn’t matter. You can’t unring that bell.” You made your way back over to the bed and yanked your duffel bag from underneath it. You unzipped it and began rooting through it to make sure you had everything you needed for a quick getaway. You didn’t think you needed to go anywhere but now this location was blown for you since you had made the decision to let Russell know about it. You had already triple checked your stash when you left it here upon check-in but you needed something to focus on instead of the clear regret in Russell’s face. “And as for me, I made my decision.” You pulled out a gun from a secret compartment, checked the clip to make sure it was full, and slipped it back inside. “I’m good with it. I’ve used it fully to my advantage and I make good money, more than I was ever going to make at the Bureau, even if they fast-tracked me to Deputy Director. Solano was on our Most Wanted List for twenty six days and I took him out in one. Had he possibly gone free, there’s no telling what he would have done, who he would have hurt besides Doug.” You knew exactly what he would have done and who he would have hurt; he’d told you in explicit detail. You didn’t go into it but Russell wasn’t stupid (not when it came to things like this anyway). He most likely knew as well. He’d wanted to close up Solano as a loose end himself after all. “That kind of cleanup I can more than live with.”

Russell carefully approached, his eyes on the second gun you had pulled out and were checking. “I get that and I more than appreciate what you did with Solano. For Doug, for Colter and me.” Once you slipped the weapon back into its pocket, he laid a hand on your shoulder, prompting you to look over at him. “You can’t tell me, though, that this is what you want for your endgame. Not really.”

You shook your head in disbelief. “I don’t have an endgame, Russell. Maybe I did once but you took that the second you walked out the door, acting like everything we’d gone through meant nothing to you, like I meant nothing to you.” 

There was that remorse again and you despised it. “I’m sorry, I…handled that badly,” he admitted.

“Handled it badly?” You laughed in disbelief. You shirked his hand off of you and moved to the night table, yanking the drawer open to rip out the bible sitting in there. You opened it to the area you had cut out to hold emergency cash and cards, just like Russell had taught you once upon a time. “You told me I’d been nothing to you but a fling for the past four years, that you might have loved me once but you didn’t anymore. That I was…how did you put it? A fun distraction.” You slammed the bible shut and tossed it back into the drawer before closing it. You hurried back over to the bag, throwing the funds inside another secret compartment, more than done with this conversation.

“You’re right, I fucked up. I only said those things to—”

“Cut the cord, yeah, I know. Still doesn’t make it right,” you muttered, roughly zipping the duffel back up. 

“I wanted you to be safe. You were digging into them, even after I told you not to! And worse, you were pulling Colter into it!”

That quickly got your attention and you spun on your heel, jabbing a finger in the air at him. “Don’t you fucking dare lay Colter at my feet. Especially after what you just pulled last week. It wasn’t me hauling him into Doug’s case! Not to mention, way before you met me, the minute you took that job, you put everyone you knew on their radar and you know it! So don’t you fucking dare. I have been doing everything I can to make sure Colter is safe and doesn’t pull their attention, poring over every case he takes in the background to ensure they’re not involved or have any vested interests that are. Hell, I even just used a contact of mine to float a case over to Teddi and Velma to get him out of town and far away from here to continue keeping him safe. Me, Russell! Me! And what did you do to keep him safe? You blow back into town and not only put him even more on their radar, you deliver him right to their goddamn doorstep! So don’t you dare even try to put that on me,” you finished in a snarl. 

Shame lurked at the corners of his eyes and you scoffed in disgust, whirling around to grab your jacket from the bed before picking up the duffel bag and slinging the handle over your shoulder. “So glad we had this talk,” you sniped. “Now go have fun with the cheerleading dental hygienist or Reenie,” You could see more shame looking back at you. Unlike the hot tub conquest, Colter had actually told you about that one. You could tell how much it was bothering him and you knew he wouldn’t have mentioned it otherwise, knowing it wasn’t something you really wanted to hear. “Or that bartender you holed up with three weeks after you walked out on me,” Now you could see surprise; you could care less. “Or whoever you want. But me? I’m done. Have a nice life, Russell Shaw, and try not to get killed before you get out to start your little brewery operation. Oh, and try to manage not to get your brother or me killed in the process, yeah? Thanks ever so much. See ya.” 

You were walking towards the door when you were grabbed and whipped around. Before you could react, Russell was on you, his mouth covering yours and his hands gripping your face. “I love you,” he breathed against your lips after breaking away to let you catch your breath. “I’m sorry I said what I did back then but it wasn’t the truth. It took everything I had to walk away but as long as you were safe, that was all that mattered to me. I fucked up and I am sorry. I never stopped loving you, Y/N. Not ever.” 

He wiped at your cheeks and you hadn’t even realized you’d been crying. Shit. Well, that was embarrassing. Even more embarrassing was how much you wanted to believe him. You knew he was telling the truth about why he walked away, how he wanted to keep you safe, but it obviously hadn’t been as difficult for him to move on as it had been for you. “No, you don’t,” you choked out. “If that were true, you would have never walked out that door.” Your voice wobbled on those last few words and you hated it, hated how vulnerable you were being to him right now.

You wiped at your own cheeks and turned around, ignoring the pleading you saw once again in his eyes. 

“Y/N, please,” he ground out.

You kept moving towards the door. As you laid your hand on the door handle to turn it, you were whipped around one more time and he was kissing you yet again, your back pressed up against the wood. Except this time, you finally threw in the towel and gave in to what your damaged heart had been wanting all of this time. You buried your fingers in his hair and kissed him back just as passionately, not caring that more tears rolled down your cheeks as you did. He yanked the duffel bag from you and let it fall into a heap on the floor before lifting you up and turning to carry you over to the bed. You knew this was going to hurt like hell later but you refused to put a stop to it. You’d find a way to numb the pain when it ripped you open a second time, just like you always had. 

The only thought running through your mind as he laid you down and ripped your blouse open, sending buttons flying everywhere, was that you had been right. You knew the bastard had been lying earlier when you’d caught him looking between you and the bed. But right then as he lifted away from you to quickly shed his top layers and then dove back down to kiss you again and melt into you, your fingers greedily relearning every inch of his bare skin, you couldn’t care less.   

You reached your hand over, tenderly running a finger along the edges of the bandage on Russell’s arm. “Does it hurt?” You murmured.

“A little.” He turned his head to smile down at you. “More than worth it, though.”

You rolled your eyes, ignoring his chuckle at you gently pushing his head away, and turned onto your back. Russell embraced you with his other arm, pulling you into him. You rested your ear against his bare chest, hearing his steady heartbeat and settling your gaze on the ceiling above you. He pressed a kiss to your head, letting his lips linger against your hair, as his thumb rubbed your shoulder back and forth.

After a few minutes of content silence between you, you put voice to the question resounding in your mind. “How did we get here, Russell?”

“Well, you drove us over and then we—”

You softly swatted his chest, making him laugh and hearing the sound reverberate underneath your ear. “You know what I mean.”

“I wish I knew the best way to answer that, “ he whispered to you. You could hear the genuine regret in his tone and it made you start thinking about when you both would have to leave this motel room, and go back to the separate lives you had been living. Memories of lazy mornings like this back when you had been together, of you listening to his voice in your ear and knowing you were safe and loved, replayed in your mind on a loop. You would never admit it to him but you missed this, missed him. Nothing had felt right in the last couple of years like this moment here did. If anything, all of that time felt like some weird drug-induced nightmare, and you had just woken up to find Russell here next to you, nothing having changed. But that wasn’t true; everything had changed.

Not wanting to think about that just yet, you picked up the hand that had been caressing your shoulder and studied the skin of his wrist. “This is new.” You trailed your finger along the design of the tattoo sitting there. “What prompted you to get this one?”

“That’s something Doug and I got one night when we met up with another one of the guys from our unit when he was in town. Tommy Laird. Good man.”

“A crown?”

Russell shrugged underneath you. “Tommy picked the design.”

“‘We three kings’, huh?”

You heard him chuckle. “Never thought of it like that but sure.”

“Is he also a part of Horizon?”

You felt him tense underneath you at the mention of the dark and deadly elephant in the room. “No. He, uh, he lives with his wife and three kids in North Carolina. They have a house in Cary and he went back to the family business when he got home.”

You nodded and pulled his wrist to you, placing your lips on his skin and tenderly kissing the middle of the design before letting him go. He hugged you closer to him and placed a kiss to your ear in turn, letting out what sounded like a contented sigh. 

A moment later, he murmured. “I want to help get you out.”

You nearly rolled your eyes again. You wanted to ask him why he was dead set on thinking that you even wanted out. Perhaps the you he had known would want a way out, want something more out of life than money and secrets and cleanups, but you had changed a lot in the last three years. But you knew if you posed that question, it would shatter the cocoon you currently found yourselves in and you weren’t ready for that to end just yet. So instead, you reminded him of another angle of the truth. “That’s not possible. Not the way you’re thinking. You know that.”

“Anything’s possible.” You nearly smiled at his response; there was the stubborn streak that sometimes infuriated you and sometimes endeared you to him, like right now. But you needed to make sure you maintained a reality check for the both of you. You knew what he was really thinking.

“Even if it was, we can’t.”

His head lifted and he frowned down at you. “Why not?”

“This isn’t some Mr. and Mrs. Smith shit. We don’t get a happy ending,” you finished sadly, thinking back to the life you once shared together as you cupped his cheek and rubbed it gently with your thumb. “Not together. It’s too dangerous.” You left it at that but you knew that he was more than aware of what you meant. 

His frown intensified at your words and he covered your hand with his, turning to place a kiss into your palm. “We’ll work it out.”

“Russ,” you sighed.

He gently grasped your chin between his thumb and forefinger, looking into your eyes. “We’ll work it out,” he softly repeated, that glint of determination back in his gaze. 

You decided once more that you wouldn’t bother launching into the many reasons it actually wouldn’t work out and you would refrain from popping that bubble he had just wrapped you both in. That moment would come later. But for now, you continued to keep silent.

When he noticed you weren’t going to say anything, a mischievous smile began to form on that handsome face you loved. “You know, I don’t really have anything planned for today. How about you?”

Other than some paperwork you had to go over later, your day was pretty much free, too. Even if it hadn’t been, you knew that look and after this morning, despite still having some unresolved anger with him, despite things that still needed to be said between you, you would have freed up your schedule immediately. “I don’t think I’ll be missed for a while,” you teased.

He leaned in to kiss you, whispering to your lips, “Oh, you were missed. Very much fucking missed.” The impishness you had heard a moment before was now absent but he never gave you a chance to respond. Instead, he kissed you deeply and began moving to cover your body with his once again. He maneuvered himself in between your thighs, your legs automatically coming up to gently cradle his hips. “Your arm,” you broke away to warn him.

“Don’t care.” He lowered down to keep kissing you and surprisingly (or unsurprisingly perhaps), all was right in the world right then. You didn’t allow yourself to get swept away by it or by the fantasy of something that would never be. Sadly, the time for you and Russell to be together had come and gone. You’d had your chance and you both had blown it, with him starting you out of the gate. This right here, this was all that was left — like embers of a dying fire. You would always love him, you knew that (truthfully, you had always known it), but this was all you would ever have. Once you both walked out that door, you would be walking in separate directions, taking different paths in your lives, no matter what Russell would say. 

But for right now, you allowed yourself to live in the moment, to enjoy it as he groaned into your mouth when your hand helped guide him to where you both wanted him to be. You held onto him as he began a slow movement within you, knowing you would need to take over again very soon when his left arm began to tremble. But until then you kept him close to you, drank deeply of him, and reveled in what the two of you had always managed to create together, content to keep Horizon and the rest of the world on the other side of the motel room door, if only for a moment longer. 

A/N: I know I left some things open and unresolved. I wanted to do that to let this be a gateway to the continuing story in the short series coming titled "Closer".

Please let me know what you think. 😊

[starsherit]

Hi book club, how's everyone doing? Everybody make it out of The Volumes of Pain okay? Anybody need some Vashwood fix-it fics? Because I've just been reading everyone's posts on vol 9 & 10, and I sure as hell needed them!

These are in no particular order, but they're all fantastic and amazing:

I believe in the Kingdom Come, by tenshinokorin

Fantastic characterizations, for both WW and Vash, and a nice little twist to reincarnation in the sequel. Completed. 

Someday out of the Blue, by tenshinokorin

Sequel to the above, just as fantastically written. Completed.

CAUSE OF DEATH (See instructions and examples), by neatrogenous

Fix-it with a spectacular twist and amazing dialogue. Absolutely loved every single interaction in this. Completed. (ch 13/13)

Black is the Color, by tenshinokorin

Fix-it that features a ghost and Vash’s powers, a fic that takes its time getting to the actual resurrection but that time it takes is spectacular. Loved every bit of it (and all of tenshinokorin’s writing in general, tbh). Completed.

The lie behind the golden truth, by jevana

The reincarnation fic that I didn’t know I needed, but oh boy did I! WW is reborn as an independent. The world building in this is also top notch and lovely to delve into. On-going (ch 10/?).

nowhere left for us to go but heaven, by everythingeverything (yiqie)

Gah, this one! Post-Trimax, WW lives, they go on a trip, it’s got so much feels and it’s so well written! Also features VW taking over the orphanage and forests! Completed. (Prequel to this one is here but it’s on-going, ch 1/3).

Tomorrows, by fullmetalheart

Very good coping fic, very soothing for the soul imho. Reading it makes me smile in a uniquely quiet, peaceful way. Completed.

Just a Hobby, by fullmetalheart

I still remember how hard this one hit me at times, while reading. Resurection-in-far-future fic that’s done superbly, with great characterizations and one particular line (the title) that I’ll never forget. Completed.

AND SOME SADS BUT GOODS BELOW

Gaps of Sunlight, by ghosttopiary

I… don’t know how to describe this one. It won’t make anyone here feel any better. But it is absolutely gorgeous. Tissues and soothing background music recommended. Completed. 

IN EXCELSIS DEO, by adlvnam

This miiight make some people feel better, but damn is it ever heavy. It ends on such a light note, though, like a little peck of hope and sunshine after some dark dark dark. Completed. 

how can there be more when this is done, by tasteoflemons

Again, no words. Just… god just read this. It’ll tear your heart out and then won’t exaaaactly glue it back together, but… but you’ll love it. It’s so unique and beautiful. Resurrection… of sorts. Completed. 

[tkingfisher]

Y’know, it occurs to me occasionally that people might like to ask me stuff, but then I think “Nah, surely they know that they can just ask!” but obviously people don’t know that, so hey, if you have any burning questions, you can totally ask. I will maybe even have answers!

Just to head the obvious ones off at the pass…

Yes, there will hopefully be a sequel to SWORDHEART but I was trying to write it just as the pandemic hit and it stalled hard, but it’s not dead. I still add words occasionally.

Hopefully seven Paladin books. Judith is increasingly looking aroace, so that last one, if it’s a romance at all, may be deeply peculiar.

No, I don’t have any more Dragonbreath/Hamster Princess/Castle Hangnail/Nurk books currently planned, the publisher didn’t buy more.

Yes, I hope to someday finish Nameless Sheep, but I did the stupid thing and wrote out the plot so then I knew how it ended and lost interest. I should know better. Waiting until I’ve forgotten the details and then maybe.

Shep is my friend and tenant farmer, no, we’re not in a relationship, that would feel super weird and would end in murder.

KUEC stopped because of both pandemic and our health failing to the point where we could not recover from another round of bad food in the course of a weekend. Yes, we occasionally think about doing something similar, but Kevin does have a real job and already produces his podcast Productivity Alchemy, which you should totally listen to, because it’s about productivity for neurospicy people.

Yes, I am allergic to erythromycin.

[alannacouture]

Clarke, Bellamy, and their friends have started building new lives on Sanctum, quickly becoming part of the new community that’s forming. A surprise awaits everyone, though, when an old tradition from Sanctum, Valentine’s Day, suddenly becomes the only thing anyone can talk about. Clarke, still struggling with the after effects of her mind and body being stolen, doesn’t much care about this new holiday, but Madi is determined that her mom has a wonderful Valentine’s Day (and will find Clarke a Valentine herself if she’s not going to do it). Clarke might not be ready for Sanctum’s huge Valentine’s Day celebration, but Madi and Bellamy are determined to make it a night she never forgets…

Full disclosure: I’m suffering from the worst writer’s block right now, so this was written in about three hours and I don’t know if I like it. But it’s a holiday and I was hoping writing this would motivate me to start working on all my WIPs (I’m still working on a sequel for “i’ve got you for that”, a prompt from a reader on Ao3, and about six other projects I really want to finish). So please come check this out and leave me some positive reinforcement so I’ll actually start writing my other works. Happy Valentine’s Day, fellow Bellarkers! ❤️❤️❤️

[callsign-dexter]

Love's Unexpected Gift

Summary/Request: Hi love 💕

I absolutely adore the hangster X daughter serie!

If you would like, no problem if you don't like this idea but how would they react after finding a positive pregnancy test in their teen daughters bathroom on the day the daggers are over helping them clean.

Pairings: Bradshaw-Seresin!Reader x OC Mason Floyd, Jake Seresin x Daughter!Reader, Bradley Bradshaw x Daughter!Reader, Jake Seresin x Bradley Bradshaw

Warnings: implied smut, angst, fluff, talk about abortion, pregnancy

Our Little Girl

Masterlist

Prequel: Love's Unexpected Gift

Sequel: The Gift of Love’s Arrival

A/N: after going back and forth with @multifandomlover4life, @justabigassnerd, and @maverick-wingman about how to do write this, this is what my mind came up with at 12 AM. I hope you enjoy!

Every spring Jake, Bradley, and Y/N do a little bit of summer cleaning and changing winter clothes out for summer clothes and it never fails. They would have all of The Daggers over and they would help out claiming they have nothing better to do but in reality, they don’t want to do it at their houses. Nothing exciting ever was found expect on this one fateful spring afternoon. Everyone’s lives changed especially Jake’s, Bradley’s, and Bob’s. Nobody knew how to react especially not the fathers of the two 18-year-olds that had just finished their senior year of high school.

******************************************

It was a Friday night when The Daggers were at The Hard Deck having a couple of drinks after having ended a pretty successful work day. It wasn’t that terribly crowded in the bar that had become a regular part of their lives. Everyone was feeling pretty good about how the day of teaching the new Top Gun cadets. The subject of cleaning came up and how everyone needed to do it.

“Since everyone doesn’t want to clean their own houses. Why don’t you come and help us with ours? Ever since we moved to the bigger place, we have found it harder for us three to clean it.” Bradley said and everyone thought about it.

“I’ll be there.” Bob said. Ever since Bob’s son and Y/N started dating Jake, Bradley, and Bob had started to hang out a lot more. They had already hung out while at work and were already close but this just made them closer.

“I would love to.” Nat said and then everyone else agreed. Goose, Carole, Maverick, and Ice would have agreed to help but they had already had plans that they absolutely needed to get done.

“How is Y/N and Mason doing?” Javy asked the parents of the two kids.

“They’re doing good. They’re together pretty much every day.” Jake said

“They’re a perfect couple.” Mickey said and everyone smiled and agreed with him. They loved the kids and they all had a part of raising the two kids and they loved them dearly. They had no idea what they were dealing with at home right now however.

******************************************

Mason was holding a crying Y/N on the bathroom floor against the tub. The tears were one of shock and being scared. She loved the thought of having kids with Mason someday and maybe now was too early but they loved each other and Mason was not going anywhere anytime soon. She wouldn’t be giving this kid up or aborting it she wouldn’t have the heart to do it. Mason was scared as well but he too wanted kids with her.

Y/N had been feeling sick the past few mornings and she didn’t know why and it was concerning her. She brought this up to Mason and he was concerned for his girlfriend so he had suggested to get a pregnancy test and she agreed. When he was coming over, he stopped at the drug store and bought a couple of tests and headed over to her house. They were going to be alone due to The Daggers having their night out after work.

When Mason got there, they immediately went to her room and into her connected bathroom. Jake, Bradley, and Bob were ok with leaving them alone because they trusted their kids. They raised them to be good kids. When the topic of sex came up, they sat them down and gave them the talk and told them to be safe. Y/N took the tests and waited the required time for them to be done they began to talk, once she allowed him into the bathroom.

“What if I am pregnant?” She asked her boyfriend of 3 years going on 4.

“Then we’ll get through it. You’re going to be a great mom.” He said and smiled and she smiled back. He always knew the right things to say, he must get that from Bob.

“You’re going to be a great dad.” She said to him and he smiled and kissed her. When they broke apart the timer had gone off and she took a breath and walked over to them and looked at them and began to cry. She would’ve collapsed on the ground it if weren’t for Mason catching her and bringing her down to the floor. She crawled over to the tub and leaned against it clutching the tests.

“What is it baby?” Mason asked her and she showed him the tests and he looked at them as she began to speak.

“I’m pregnant.” She said

“That’s great Baby. Unexpected yes but its great.” He said trying to cheer her up.

“I’m scared Mason.” She told and he nodded and held her tighter.

“I’m scared to but we’ll get through this.” He said to her and kissed the top of her head and then rested his chin on top of it.

“How did this happen? We were safe.” Y/N said and he nodded.

“I know Baby.” He said as she sniffled and he hugged her tighter. “Wait, the condom broke. Remember? We talked about it.” He said realization coming to his face and then her’s. The condom had broken after having slow passionate sex after graduation. After he had taken it off, he saw the tear and alerted his girlfriend. They both said that they would wait a few days and then see if something happened. That was a week ago.

“What are we going to tell our parents? I don’t want to abort it or give it up” She asked him.

“We’ll find a way and the right time. I’m with you every step of the way. I want this baby too but will support whatever decision you make. It’s late. Let’s go to bed yea?” Mason asked and she nodded and cried harder. She buried the tests deep into the trash and they got ready for bed in silence. Mason held her while she cried herself to sleep and once he knew that she was asleep he went to sleep.

When Jake and Bradley got home, they weren’t surprised to Mason’s truck there. He was either over at their house or Y/N was over at Mason’s house. It was a normal now. Jake and Bradley quietly walked into the house to find it silent but then again it was late at night. They walked upstairs and checked in on them and smiled to find them curled up with each other sound asleep. They left them alone and then got ready themselves for bed and were mentally preparing for the day ahead of them.

******************************************

The next morning Bradley and Jake were up before the Y/N and Mason getting breakfast ready and some of The Daggers were coming over for breakfast as well. The smell of bacon and pancakes woke Mason and Y/N up and they groggily headed downstairs to be greeted by the earliest risers that they had seen.

“Morning Pops and Dad.” Y/N said and walked over and greeted them with a kiss on their cheeks.

“Good morning, Bradley and Jake.” Mason said now on a first name basis with them after they repeatedly told him to call them by their first names.

“Good morning, Sweets and Mason.” Jake said

“Good morning, guys. How did you sleep?” Bradley asked handing them both a plate of food.

“We slept good.” Y/N said and Mason nodded in agreement.

“That’s great. Hey, we have The Daggers coming over to help with some summer cleaning. You’re welcome to help.” Bradley said

“We actually planned on going to see a moive this morning but we can bring lunch back and help afterwards.” Y/N said and they nodded.

“That’s perfectly fine. Let us know when you’re coming back and we’ll tell you what we decide on.” Jake said and smiled at them as the doorbell rang and Bradley went to open it. The first one to arrive was Bob, he walked in and greeted Bradley and then went into the kitchen and saw his son, Y/N, and Jake. Jake turned around when he heard footsteps.

“Hey, Bob!” Jake exclaimed and then went back to cooking breakfast.

“Hey, Jake.” Bob said taking the plate of food that Bradley gave to him. Then he went and sat down next to his son and his girlfriend. “Good morning, Y/N and Mason.” He said turning his attention to the couple.

“Good morning, Bob.” Y/N said taking a bite of her breakfast.

“Good morning, Dad.” Mason said to his father at the same time as Y/N said her good morning.

“Are you two going to be helping out today?” Bob asked as he took a bite of his food and Y/N shook her head.

“No, we had already planned on doing something this morning but I told Pops and Dad that we could pick up lunch and help out with the rest of the day.” Y/N said and he nodded.

“What do you have planned?” He asked

“There is a movie that we both wanted to see and we had already bought tickets. I didn’t think Dad and Pops would be cleaning today.” Y/N said feeling a little guilty.

“Honey, it’s ok. Go to the movie and plan out what we talked about.” Bradley said walking over with his plate and sitting down and the doorbell rang and Jake went to open it. Greetings were heard and then The Daggers walked in. Everyone greeted each other and Mason and Y/N were off to their movie.

******************************************

The Daggers got to work after cleaning the table but not before they decided on what they wanted to eat for lunch and then Bradley texted Y/N. When something that looked important came up, they would go to Bradley or Jake to ask them if it was important. They cleaned all the rooms and did the showers, sinks, and toilets. Nothing too interesting was found throughout the house that is until Natasha got to Y/N’s bathroom she had volunteered to clean her room and her bathroom since she was female and Y/N trusted her, yes, she trusted her fathers but when it comes to female things, she trusted Nat.

Natasha had just gotten to the bathroom Javy had joined her. As she was going to get the trash the garbage can hit the corner of the counter and the contents spilled. Nothing that would scar Javy was in there but something caught her eye. Two positive pregnancy tests. She cleaned up the trash and then set the garbage can down. She slowly picked the tests up and was glad they were capped and looked at them. She and Javy had been talking and when she stopped talking, he turned and looked at her.

“Is that what I think it is?” Javy asked coming over to inspect the tests and Nat nodded her head.

“Yup, Bob, Jake, and Bradley are going to become grandparents.” Natasha said

“Should we go and tell the future grandparents?” Javy asked

“It’s not our place to tell but they need to know what we found.” Natasha said and he nodded. Before they could leave the bathroom, Jake had come in.

“Hey Nat- “He began but stopped when he saw what she was holding. Jake’s face went through so many emotions that Javy and Nat didn’t know if it was possible to do so. “Is that what I think it is?” He asked hoping it was a joke.

“Jake- “Javy said and Jake laughed.

“Good joke guys. Really good a positive pregnancy test. You had me there for a moment.” He said but when they didn’t laugh, he stopped laughing and turned serious to raging father in just a few seconds that it actually scared Javy and Nat. “Bradley! Get your ass in here!” Jake yelled out and, in a few seconds, he was in his daughter’s bedroom where he saw a furious Jake, and an unreadable emotion of Javy and Natasha. Then he saw the pregnancy tests.

“Jake.” Bradley said slowly. Jake turned towards his husband.

“Our little girl is pregnant.” Jake said furiously.

“We don’t know that.” Bradley said “It could be someone else. Maybe a friend.” Bradley said trying to reason with his outraged husband.

“She would’ve told us if it was one of her friends. She also would’ve told us if it was hers.” Jake said practically seething. “We’ve told her she could come to us if something was up. We raised her that way.” He said and Bradley nodded.

When they heard Mason’s truck pull into the driveway Jake was already rushing downstairs to meet the 18-year-old couple. They had just walked into the house with food and she smiled when she saw her Pops, followed by Nat, Javy, and her Dad. But when she saw his face and he wasn’t smiling her face fell. Mason looked at saw the look and grabbed her and pulled her into his side protecting her and their unborn child. Y/N was scared and confused until she saw the pregnancy tests and her face paled and she shrunk into Mason.

“Tell me this is not yours.” Jake said and waved the tests around and she didn’t speak and neither did Mason his face turned beet read. “Robert Floyd!” He yelled and went to where he was and stormed up to him.

“Yes- “He started but didn’t get a chance to say anything because he was thrown into the nearby wall.

“I’m gonna kill you. You know why?” He asked and Bob shook his head too scared to speak. “Because I can’t kill your son because he’s the father of my daughter’s unborn child.” Jake said just as everyone rushed into the guest room.

“Jake, let him go.” Bradley said and was grabbing onto his shoulders

“Pops let him go.” Y/N said and then after a few seconds Bradley pulled him off of Bob but that is only after Y/N said something.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Bob said finally finding the strength to talk. Jake then showed him the two positive pregnancy tests and his face fell and he looked over at his son.

“Is this true?” Bob asked Mason and Y/N and they both nodded.

“Yes. We just found out.” Y/N said

“Let’s go in the living room to talk.” Bradley said everyone nodded.

“Javy, Nat, and Ruben let’s stay here and let the parents and kids talk” Mickey said and the rest agreed.

******************************************

When the 5 of them reached the living room the kids sat on the couch and the parents stood in front of them. “Tell us what happened.” Jake asked and they looked at him and he rolled his eyes. “I know how it happened. I want to know how and why it happened.” He explained.

“It was after graduation. We used a condom. We did. But afterwards we found out it broke. That was a week ago. We just thought that we would see what would happen but when I started to get sick and smells bothered me, I had Mason get pregnancy tests before he came over last night. We officially found out last night.” Y/N explained and she looked down and tears began to fall. “I’m sorry Pops, Dad, and Bob. We didn’t mean for this to happen.” She spoke.

“We really didn’t but we talked and we both want to keep this baby.” Mason added and everyone was silent.

“Are you absolutely sure with this decision?” Bob asked the both of them and they nodded.

“Dad, I love her and want to marry her. I want to have kids with her.” Mason said whole heartedly. Y/N looked at him with tears in her eyes, they talked about kids but not marriage and she felt the exact same way. Bardley, Jake, and Bob looked at him and they could tell he was serious.

“You really mean that?” Y/N asked him and he turned to look at her and nodded.

“Every word of it.” He said and Y/N crashed her lips onto his and they only broke apart when Jake cleared his throat and they turned to look at their parents.

“Even though we’re not thrilled about the situation of how it happened or the timing. We are happy for both of you and will support you both all the way. All three of us love you. You both can come to us at any time. Now come here and give us a hug.” Bradley said and Mason and Y/N did just that.

“We love you three so much.” Y/N said and then The Daggers came out of the room having heard the conversation end. They broke apart and looked at them.

“I take it you heard?” Y/N asked and everyone nodded and said their congratulations to both the couple and the parents and hugs went around. “I’m hungry. Let’s eat.” She said and they laughed she was like that to begin with, she got that from both Jake and Bradley.

“Wait until your grandparents find out that they're going to be great-grandparents.” Jake said as they began to eat and everyone chuckled. Everyone but Mason and Y/N that is instead they looked at each other they hadn't thought of telling them. It was definitely going to be interesting, that’s for sure.

Tag list:

@athenabarnes

@fanboyluvr

@aizawash0e

@els-marvelvsp

@alohastitch0626

@itsdesiree86

@multifandomlover4life

@happypopcornprincess

@kmc1989

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@sabrinaselina55

@grandstrangerphantom

[strandnreyes]

In honor of it being the one year anniversary of as if you were a mythical thing, I thought I'd tease the sequel:

Four years ago, Carlos promised TK that someday he’d be ready for their future to include eternity. That day has come. 

Chapter one coming September 26!

The fic is seven chapters total to span a good chunk of autumn, much like the setting of the story itself. It features the depths of love and how far TK and Carlos would go for one another, so many baby vampire shenanigans, and one very special cat.

Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! 🧛❤️🐈‍⬛

[cbk1000]

Is there a cap on the number of questions I can ask for the reblog ask game? XD 4, 11, 18, and 30, please!

Hope today is a great day! <3

4. a story idea you haven’t written yet I have tons. Some fairytale-inspired; I'd like to do a selkie fic. I also have a sort of Rapunzel-esque idea with Arthur being the damsel in distress locked in a tower. Another with Morgana as a sort of Baba Yaga-esque character and Merlin as her raven who used to be a man she turned into a bird for being annoying. Arthur is her annoying brother on a quest who needs her help; Merlin goes with him, of course, and Arthur breaks the spell on him and is highly dismayed to discover the annoying talking bird is a super hot man.

11. a WIP you’d like to finish someday Book of Merthur is the one I'm focusing on right now, though I do also have the sequel to the vet fic partially written.

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic 'What he had written was, “Sorry. I am a tree.”'

30. share a fic you’re especially proud of My Imposter Syndrome is screaming, 'None of them, they're all crap!!!' but I'm going to kick it in the nuts and say Book of Merthur, because it's now officially the longest story I've ever written, and as a kid I read a lot of fantasy, and I feel like baby!Jenn would be stoked that adult!Jenn is writing a gay fantasy epic with lots of penis jokes.

[clockwayswrites]

you keep saying you struggle just writing consistently on one of your w.i.p.s, so I was wondering, how many w.i.p.s do you actually have?

I like to be able to jump around! I do that often in a single wip. If I have an idea, I'll jump to that and write it, even if it's many scenes/chapters later. Some days or sessions that means jumping to a different wip.

Part of that is because some days it's just easier or smoother writing romance or banter or action or angst or etc. And why not make my life easier?

Another part of that is because, well, I'm always ill, you know? I've been ill every day for twenty years now. And it gets to be so damn draining (and I've had a worse time of it this year than most). So I try to let myself do what I want in my hobbies.

And then the last part is I like to let writing... ferment(?). It's nice to get to a point and be able to set a piece down and turn it around in the back of your brain until you're sure it's right or know the best next thing or look at it with fresh eyes. Rewrites make my work better and I like to give it that time. But, uh, for an actual list:

Active wips: (aka my primary focuses)

Like Betta Fish Do (long fic, 3-4 chapters left) A Broken Sort of Normal (1 chapter left) City Pigeons Bleed Green (Trauma Tuesday Fic) Series: One Stop Soup Shop (AH SEQUELS I suck at them)

Back burner wips: (aka the things I poke at and deff want to write)

The fic that I'm not writing (main fic I keep on the side) Not Exactly Cinderella (ugh, needs the hook up and an ending) Neon Adjuration (keeps chewing on my brain) Bury the Years (long fic doom) Both Ways at Once (also long fic doom) Catching Cold (need to outline this sucker to keep at it) Salt in the Bones Series (waiting on Moku (no pressure)) Specter of Starlight (pacing thoughts and plans stalled out) Black Smoke Custody (ngl... this maybe should move to hopeful)

Hopeful thoughts: (NOT wips- no real writing yet, but maybe someday)

Tired Dads with issues (Bruce/Dadentine) Gotham Knights talon Park Cosmas the Clone Finding Danny (one of my OG ideas for this fandom) The Bruises Death Leaves (hate this title now) Something Danny/Dick (a few options here)

So lucky 13?

[gaslightgallows]

September 2023 Writing Round-Up

I just checked my tags, and I haven't done one of these since… three years ago. Exactly three years ago yesterday (9/29/20), to be precise. Which was pretty much when my mental health and my personal life started to crumble in earnest, and it took my desire to write for public consumption along with it.

Most of what I did for the rest of 2020/2021 were either struggling to finish works in progress (and largely failing) or archiving stuff from my LJ days. I didn't post anything in 2022. I was still writing (a lot) but it was either for Patreon (…fuck, right, I have a Patreon) or it was personal, not meant to be shared.

And then Good Omens came back and ended up being really fucking relevant to my life, and @meldanya44 was there urging me to get back into writing for other people besides her. I think it was a good idea, over all. ♥

So… yeah. Thanks, Good Omens fandom, for reminding me that writing is meant to be shared, and that I am a prompt-based lifeform. (I'll be putting up a new prompt list tomorrow, if anyone wants an artisanally crafted bespoke ficlet of their very own.)

Anyway, here's what I did in September:

Authorial Intent (G, one-shot): Michael’s plan to erase Aziraphale from the Book of Life has certain… flaws. A revision of the final season of S2 Ep6, where the Metatron does not make an appearance. (Actually posted at the end of August but this is my list and it counts. Written very shortly after I finished S2 for the first time. Effervescing with joy.)

Put Out the Stars (T, currently a one-shot, planning to continue): Crowley stole the photo of himself and Aziraphale from the shop a long time ago. (Inspired by one of @fellshish's asks. Angst angst angst… with more to come!)

An Invisible Wound (T, one-shot): “I almost killed you tonight.” “I almost got you killed tonight.” Their first kiss, soft and futile, is in 1941. (Bittersweet canon-compliant 1941 truthers unite.)

After the Rain (T, one-shot; for @meldanya44): The Second Coming has come and gone, and Crowley was calling him ‘angel’ again. (Wonderful quiet post-series fluff.)

Like Petals in a Storm (M, currently a standalone but working on a sequel; for @meldanya44): Between the discorporation and the almost-execution, Aziraphale’s having a bit of trouble keeping body and soul together. (My reputation-mandated 'one partner helps another bathe' fic.)

The Taste of Salt (G, one-shot; for @iamhisgloriouspurpose): The lingering taste of ox ribs are bitter and rich in Aziraphale's mouth, and he isn't sure what he believes anymore. (Continues the 'I'm not taking you to Hell, angel' scene in the Ep2 minisode. Nice and angsty. No one seems to like this one and I'm not sure why.)

Pipe Dream (G, one-shot; for @unwholesome-gay): All Aziraphale has ever wanted is to give heaven back to Crowley. (Domestic fluff about Aziraphale buying the South Downs cottage for Crowley. Fun fact: I struggled to write this and finally posted it in dismay and tried to forget about it. And then my inbox exploded with HEARTS, so I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought.)

The Patience of Angels, Chs 1-4 (M, multi-chapter WIP): An old enemy is on the hunt for the demon known as Crowley, and it will take all the powers of one very protective angel to save him. But in keeping Crowley safe, Aziraphale will uncover more of the terrible truths of Heaven than he ever wanted to know. (The longfic I first conceived of in 2019 and then never got around to finishing enough to post, and am now trying to revise the HELL out of in real-time because the original version doesn't work anymore. I love this fic with a burning passion and hope it finds an audience someday… which it probably will if I can update it, y'know, more often than once a month…)

Fics Posted: 8 Word Count: 28,182

I'm never going to be as prolific as I was when I was in the MCU fandom and had a much less-hectic job, but I'd call that a decent comeback. Thanks, everyone. ♥

[afrenchwriter]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @andromeda4004, thank you dear 🥰 Always an interesting game to play, share, and reflect!

How many works do you have on ao3?

17

What's your total ao3 word count?

313,513

What fandoms do you write for?

I launched my AO3 account with a Red Dead Redemption fanfic, and then I discovered Good Omens, and then... well, you know how it goes with this fandom ❤️ That being said, I also had fun exploring the seas during the golden age of piracy (Our Flag Means Death) and the lands of a Norse God (Loki).

Top five fics by kudos:

For His Eyes Only (GO - James Bond AU, M rated, 69K)

Getting Closer (GO - fluffy post-S1 fic, G rated, 3K)

To the End of the Ocean (OFMD - post-S1 fic, M rated, 71K)

Whatever Comes After (RDR - canon divergence AU, M rated, 84K)

Ties & Other Obsessions (Loki - 5+1 fic, T rated, 4K)

Do you respond to comments?

Always! I treasure each and every one of them ❤️ But I have to confess that these past few months have been a bit hard (not much energy, unfortunately), and I'm still trying to catch up on all the lovely comments I've received.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Mmh, good question... I'm afraid I don't know how to do that 🙃 Even the last fic I wrote for the GO historical minisode event (Shadow & Light) was supposed to end on an angsty note, and at the last minute, I decided to add a happy epilogue! But if we're talking bittersweet ending, then it would be Sharp Endings & New Beginnings, a post-S2 Loki fic... If you've seen the show, then you know 🌳

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hard to say, considering my previous answer 😇 but all the long fics listed above have a very happy ending!

Do you get hate on fics?

I did, once, on my OFMD fic... It was a shock, but also an interesting experience: it pushed me to question my narrative choices (and, in the end, confirm them).

Do you write smut?

I do... And I have a second AO3 account dedicated to it 😎 (I wonder how many people will reach this part of the tag game and find this out, eheh)

Craziest crossover:

None for now... (For His Eyes Only cannot be considered a crossover since Crowley is basically James Bond 😎).

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! @pavel-pedro has started to translate To the End of the Ocean in Russian... and whether it will be one day finished or not (I know how time-consuming such a work can be!), I'll forever be grateful for the gesture ❤️

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I'm currently co-writing a fic, actually, with my lovely friend @sabotage-on-mercury: a GO/Fleabag AU! We're taking our time for all sorts of reasons, but we want to make sure we deliver quality content, considering the source materials!

All time favorite ship?

The Ineffable Partners, of course. How can you beat a relationship between two beings who have known each other for millennia and have gone through all sorts of ups and downs, down here and out there?

Or, as Neil would say: why? Love ❤️

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

*insert awkward look monkey puppet meme* I don't know, man... I have too many WIPs piling up lately, and not enough energy to work seriously on any of them... I do hope I'll finish all of my GO WIPs someday. But the one WIP I doubt I'll ever come back to (although it makes me sad because the outline I have for this story is WILD) is the sequel of my long RDR fic, called What We Owe to Each Other.

What are your writing strengths?

I've been told several times that I'm good at capturing a character's voice, and that makes me really happy. I'm a huge cinephile and good dialogues, "natural" dialogues, are so important - I'm glad to be able to consider this as one of my strengths! I would like to say developing a plot, too - I love writing long fics and exploring characters' arcs - but I think I'm still too close to the source material for now to consider it a real strength... Room to grow!

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm a slow writer; I need to develop my ability to use imagery and metaphors; and I need better organization when it comes to writing drafts and editing the whole thing!

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Well... I'm French and I write my stories in English + I work as a translator, so... Yes to dialogues in other languages, always (then translated, of course)!

First fandom you wrote in?

I'm not exactly sure, but it must have been between those three: Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings, and Artemis Fowl (ah, teenage years!).

Favorite fic you've written?

That's a hard one... Whatever Comes After will forever have a special place in my heart since it's the fic that 1/ brought me back to writing 2/ helped me prove to myself that I was able to complete a long story. Senses & Sensitivity was my first fic for the GO fandom, and 1/ it made me feel confident to write more for the Ineffable Partners 2/ I made some great connections thanks to it (hello @hasturswig! ❤️). I don't think I've ever had more fun than when I was writing For His Eyes Only (and the enthusiastic comments along the way really helped! ❤️). But, to finish, I'd like to mention When All Is Said and Done, a GO fanfic in the South Downs that just poured out of me after the S2 finale... It really made me experience the magic of writing again.

If you've reached the end, thank you for reading! Feel free to ask me anything... And to consider yourself tagged if you want to play this game, too! ❤️

[rendevok]

fandom ask!!! 6 9 and 17 w/whatever character ((: also just wanted to let u know how much i've grown with ur art lol, i was a big caejose enjoyer and when i started getting into my aa phase i looked back at ur art and saw all the narumitsu stuff and was like hell yeah!!

Omg how fun! I love being able to see works from familiar creators when i explore new fandoms, I’m glad i could be that for you hehe ^^

6. Show us a bit of a WIP!

Since you got me feeling nostalgic, have this caejose wip that i love even if i may never finish it! (Werewolf/vampire au!)

9. Write a recommendation of someone else’s fic you enjoyed!

(tgcf incoming…)

tremble (for my beloved) by yilingcatriarch - there are no words better to describe this than “The Eming Fic”, and the reason it’s what i want to recommend out of the many many fics i’ve loved is because i read it like a week ago and i genuinely cannot stop thinking about it. Such a fun, sweet, and original concept & execution. I really enjoyed it! So- easy to read and easy to love! I really hope the author might consider writing a sequel someday, but truthfully it’s perfect as is!

17. What’s a book, movie, or show you think [character] would like?

OHOHOHOHOO OK SO!! (7yg narumitsu + trucy, no one is surprised atp)

I have a bit of a headcanon surrounding it, but i think that Phoenix, Trucy, and Miles would enjoy watching Perry Mason together to try and see who can figure out the truth/true criminal first! (Bonus points bc! MASON + 7YG!!) The hc is that they would habitually watch an episode or two at the end of the day, and compete see who ends up with the highest accuracy rate. This show has just enough niche/antiquated culture knowledge (Miles), random character motive bs (Phoenix), and “guy who was on screen but nobody noticed” (Trucy) for it to be a relatively fair competition between the three of them. Trucy definitely wins out in the end though, by a small but reasonable margin.

[mylittleredgirl]

20 questions for fic writers

thanks @annerbhp for the tag! i really enjoyed reading her answers too!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

215

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

646,705 (average of 3k per fic, which sounds about right)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

stargate atlantis most often, followed by sg-1, various star treks, and the x-files (with other miscellaneous fandoms on demand for exchanges and gifts).

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

No Sooner Met (voyager, janeway/chakotay)

Career Day (sg-1, mini!otp)

Next Chapter (the good place, chidi/eleanor)

First Date (voyager, janeway/chakotay) editor's note: man my title game was weak in my voyager era

Occupational Hazards (the good place, chidi/eleanor)

it's so funny to spend my online time in small or inactive fandoms and look at statistics because i'm like yeah... i'm kind of a big deal... people know me... i have many leather-bound volumes... and not a single one of my fics crack 300 kudos (& very few over 100). the person i reblogged from topped out over 9,000! what's it like to write long fics for popular fandoms? is it cool?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i do now! and it's awesome! for a long time i was intimidated by praise and had a hard time responding, but my brain works now and i really enjoy exchanging comments that turn into long threads of headcanon back-and-forth and sometimes new friends.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh god PLEASE let me unburden my soul about Twilight (sga, john/elizabeth). it's so uncharacteristically hopeless for me -- far future fic, complicated family dynamics, elizabeth has dementia and john is estranged from their son... really no one is having a good time. i think it's interesting and a cool departure from my usual writing style, but it's also a big sad mess.

i still feel sooooo guilty about these two thousand words of misery that i REGULARLY think about writing a sequel where john and his son fix it with time travel and mend fences. like i lie awake at night worrying about these characters because one time in 2007 i didn't give them a happy ending and suggested john might not break the bad father generational cycle. normal fic writer behavior.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Weaving Loose Ends (sg-1, sam/jack)! i love happy and hopeful endings but i think of all of them, this one is the most resolved and least complicated.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

nope. oh!!!! there was the one time when i caused Big Drama in a corner of the Dancing With The Stars fandom by turning people's headcanons into rpf, which everyone liked until one included porn. people got so heated with each other over this one smut fic (doxing! splinter factions! a fandom schism!) but somehow no one was ever actually mean to me. i didn't even get blocked or banned for my rpf transgressions, i was just standing there at the eye of the storm. so... i guess the answer is still no??

9. Do you write smut?

yes! i should probably write more, though. it has been all slow and gauzy the past few years, somebody should really get railed pretty soon.

10. Do you write crossovers?

nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don't think so. happily toiling in obscurity.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

back in the x-files days i think someone translated some of my doggett/reyes fics for a spanish archive, so those might still be out there.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no i haven't!! i am really not doing well collecting my fic writer girl scout badges here!!

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

john sheppard/elizabeth weir my beloved.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

i have 10k of an sg-1 episode-by-episode soulmate fic that started really strong and i would love to share someday, but i lack staying power so it will surely just go to seed in my dropbox forever!!

16. What are your writing strengths?

hopefully character complexity and dialogue. dialogue is interesting in fanfic, because the dialogue on many TV shows is really different than how real humans speak (it's scripted to be clearer, more concise and direct, uninterrupted, etc), so it's a fun challenge to balance that and get something that sounds both in-character and realistic.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

long fics!

the big related weakness is that i find it incredibly difficult to keep writing on a fic after i show it to anyone (as a sneak peek, or because i want feedback / encouragement / brainstorming help). i lose steam on my own, but posting or inviting other people into the process is like pouring sugar in the gas tank. why is that!! how do i fix this!!!

and i don't know if this is a "writing weakness" or an "egregious personal character flaw" but i sure did finish an exchange fic this year literally forty seconds before reveals, so that's... pretty bad.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

SO SCARY aughhhh my fear of Being Wrong really nukes me here. it doesn't even have to be a real language. it's like the ghost of JRR Tolkein himself is standing over my shoulder telling me that if i don't backwards engineer an entire proto-latinate space language instead of just chucking words into google translate and calling it Ancient i'm committing unpardonable sins.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

star trek! first internet-published fics were x-files, but first limited-print-edition fics were xeroxed hand-bound voyager stories my sister and i would give as "gifts" to family friends (and then stand there staring at them while they read the first few pages and told us how clever and creative we were and promised to "read the rest later").

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

new answer! i have always answered this before with ain't no sunshine (sga, john/elizabeth) or career day (sg-1, mini!otp), but i think i really stuck the landing this year on pieces (sga, john/elizabeth). which, incidentally, is the one i finished forty seconds before reveals so i'm definitely not going to learn anything from that narrow escape.

tagging @ussjellyfish if you haven't already done this one, @coraclavia, @havocthecat, @lonesomehighways, and anyone else who made it through this long post and would like to do it!

[lavender-long-stories]

for the ask game!

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for…

14. where do you get your inspiration?

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for…

That is ... really hard because I don't usually stop writing my stories until I am fully and truly done with them. This is why my answer to requested squeals is, 'I am not sure where you want me to go with this.'

I have put out a few bonus chapters for stories like Wheels, Lavender Sand, Lavender Memories, What He Left Behind, and Lavender Umbrellas. Some of which were part of my holiday set.

Office Mishap kinda got a sequel, and it is probably the most likely one-shot I would someday continue (don't get your hopes up; I have a lot of stories I am currently working on).

If I HAD to pick one of the multi-chapters, it would probably be... Lavender Umbrellas because I just loved it so much.

14. where do you get your inspiration?

For a very long time, it is my own work. I usually write a love triangle and really get second lead syndrome, or I am writing something and thinking, 'What if this were to go a completely different way' or a friendship dynamic that surprises me, and I think, 'Well, what if we just had a whole story of just that.'

You can see the long strain of my stories being inspired by each other if you read a few of them, and you can start to see commonalities.

For the last little over a year, my main source has been @nikandrros, who has read all of my finished work at least once, knows exactly what I am interested in writing, and sends me the most unhinged ideas that they know that I will take an interest in and then I am plagued with far too many things to write.

And when my brain isn't working, and I just want to see so cute to see if it jump starts my brain: K-dramas.

This is in reference to this ask game.