#i jest of course

[plaguedocboi]

Hey I’m 25 now. I just heard my brain ding like a microwave timer telling me it’s fully developed

[poryqons-art]

(dj khaled voice) another one

[lawnclown]

alright pack it up boys we've solved it From (MGM) is literally just Minecraft its one big multiplayer server. Two Evidence:

1. digging straight down and finding a cave with monsters

2. monsters at night, spiders during daylight

3. hiding with one block of dirt on top of you

4. random as hell farm animals in the wilderness

[adonis-koo]

lmao whenever u mention wicked!jk having blue eyes i cant help but imagine him looking like this

this is canon idk what y’all are talking about

[novemberhush]

My dentist: I just need to pull your lower lip out a bit, is that okay?

Me, out loud (or as out loud as one can with a mouth full of saliva and dental tools: Uh-huh.

Me, internally: Great. A man finally wants to drag his thumb across my bottom lip à la all those fanfics I’ve read and I can’t even feel it because he’s already numbed the area.

[jarellquansah]

we've been on a downward spiral ever since szoboszlai's fuckass telekom ad came out. coincidence?

[la-lil-alien]

[mandareeboo]

Ooooh, someone's gettin' the vapors~

[apostate-in-an-alcove]

You know, I just might be able to heal some of my childhood trauma by beating both of my parents senseless.

[toomuchracket]

i just got three asks in three seconds matthew if that's you-

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Jane: *Be playing Ace Attorney*

Jane: The autopsy report said Mia died immediately, so she couldn’t have written her murderer’s name. This is too easy.

[5 seconds later]

Jane: OUTDATED?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S OUTDATED?! AND THEY’RE NOT GONNA TELL ME UNTIL THE TRIAL?! WHAT KIND OF KANGAROO COURT IS THIS?!

[incorrect-nevermore]

The song Lenore writes for Annabel is gonna be like *Beautiful piano notes* BITCH-

[calibrationneeded]

Can I be honest? I find being queerbaited kinda fun, it’s like one of those enrichment mats they put pet food on to stimulate them, but with gay people

[half-anidiot]

there is so much potential for angst with the caelus/dan heng pairing and yet every fic i see is so fluffy and happy stop being nice to them

[lanistas]

Sometimes I think about the Five and think to myself "wow, Helen and her boys, her stupid boys; clearly she was the smartest of the group, and that's why she was their unofficial leader, it all checks out".

But then I also remember that Helen took one look at the Source Blood and thought that the best way to test its properties is to inject it into her own veins and just see what's going to happen.

So, umm, yeah, maybe not a single person out of the Five actually had any braincells or self preservation instinct, they are all mad scientists extreme lol.

[calcium-makes-ur-bones-weak]

this could really use a cannibalism metaphor [my uni application] i think they would like a cannibalism metaphor. it just feels sanitized, it has been culled of any and all raw emotion. my writing has been neutered.