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#i just cant manage anything im so sorry to everyone in my life just having a failure moment xoxo my b
l0stfoster · 2 days
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Hey its paul anon again (thanks for the name 🫡) sorry ive been bombarding you with questions but I absolutely love this au and i love everyone to bits
So, can you go into more detail about darry and paul . Like, as much info abt them as you can throw at me those two are my boys . Like how did they officially get together , how did Paul go abt moving in and whats that situation like .
Also, when Paul is like kicked out and cut off from the family, does he end up just,, losing everything? I mean like, did his parents even let him get his belongings or did all he have was the clothes on his body and trauma. I would imagine his parents had control over his bank account too so they like shut that down too so he’s out here broke as fuck JHSJSHSJ sorry im just yapping
Anon never apologizes for asking I'm so open to answering them bc I love this au and I adore that so many people like it too. Parry fans are eating good bc the writers love Cursed!Parry just as much. I'll answer your questions ab them before I yap. To be totally honest, those two did not ever really make it official. Doing that requires two things they lack; emotional openness and no internalized homophobia. They both told themselves for the longest time that it wasn't a relationship... even after they started saying "I love you" in Latin and Fae respectively (Paul knows Latin bc spells, Darry knows Fae for obvious reasons), or when each other realized managed to figure out WHAT the other was saying,, or when they started sharing a bed and waking up intertwined,,, or when they started using far too affectionate pet names,,, or when things became far too intimate for it to be casual. They never actually make it official, one day they just slip into calling each other their boyfriends. The most official it ever got was when they flat out went "Oh yeah, we're dating" to the gang. The gang was making bets on that, by the way. Pony said weeks, Soda said a month, Steve said two, Two-Bit said a year. Ace got it right down to the date and time, nobody knows how she did it. They have no anniversary because they have no fucking idea when they really "got together". Paul never truly moved in either, he kinda just went from crashing there whenever his car wasn't an option, to taking up the couch almost every night, to sleeping in Darry's room, and eventually, it was just an unspoken thing that he was officially a member of the household. They have to kick him out for the day whenever the social worker comes to check on things, cause Darry can NOT take the risk of some kind of bad outcome to his mere existence. OK MORE GENERAL PARRY - Being with Paul reminds Darry that he's only 20 and still allowed to be something other than "the adult" sometimes. That brings a whole KIND of happiness that he can't describe. Dude's tail is fucked up due to physical trauma but that bitch wags so fast with Paul. - Darry on the other hand just generally grounds Paul. He's so used to the way of life that was on the west side that everything going on there is overwhelming sometimes. - They're very bad with vocal I love you's in English but they will say that shit ALL the time in different languages or through their actions. - Uh after Paul got jumped and had his letterman jacket stolen, Darry gave him an old denim jacket of his own bc Paul hated having his arms out in the open. - Pony audibly gags every time they're lovey-dovey. He's not homophobic unless you're Paul and Darry. - They'd shotgun cigarettes when they were younger (and the only reason they don't anymore is the account of Darry wanting to keep the fact that he smokes every rare occurrence on the down low) - Darry's purring has healing properties like a cat's purr (all of the brothers' have it actually) so this mf will just drag Paul down to cuddle and purr. - They are.. so down bad for each other. Darry does anything and Paul swoons, and they've def had an interaction that goes something like this: Paul, knowing Darry cant lie: "How do you feel about me right now?" Darry, immediately: "I'd marry you if I could." Paul & Darry:
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As for being kicked out, Paul's parents quite literally just. Booted him, barely a warning. One minute he's arguing back for the first time since their keeping up appearances at the police event, and the next he's being dragged by the arm and shoved out of the house with threats of being killed if he dares to show his face back there. Just like that, all of it's pretty much gone; save for the clothes on his back and whatever he'd been carrying-- which was really only his car keys and his wallet. He was sleeping in his car for a bit until Two and Pony vaguely got on his ass because Darry's calls were going to voicemail and he was stupid enough to let it slip that he wasn't living at home anymore. Pony, being Pony, snitched. Can't have shit with that little gremlin around- so after finding his dumbass after having had the equivalent of an aneurism over suddenly being ghosted by Paul, Darry extended the offer for Paul to stay with them. He doesn't mind it being a permanent solution, but Paul is.. less fond for a few reasons; so he tries not to impose much while he looks for work. (He does eventually get something sorted out, so yippie! Helps with the bills what a guy) FORGOT TO ADD. He sneaks home at one point to try and get some of his shit because he knows where the spare key is, but gets cold feet at the door because he genuinely doesn't know if his dad will keep up with that threat.
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gyuswhore · 2 months
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Grease (the tragedy)
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“Careful, those marks on the floor aren’t just oil and paint.”
jeon wonwoo x reader
word count: 5.8k
warnings: smut [minors DNI], fluff, angst, mechanic!wonu, annoyances to lovers, blind date gone wrong but then gone right, kissing, clit stuff, oral (f. rec), thigh fucking (oop), this all happens at a desk LMAO, title is a what I thought was a funny spin on how people say "grease (the musical)"....has nothing to do with the musical though but lots to do with actual grease!!!
synopsis: In which you have to sit through one of the worst dates of your life, followed by the insistent tug of fate and compulsion that lead you straight back to where you'd sworn you'd never go.
[a/n]: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WIFE CAMOTHY @highvern everyone go say happy birthday to cam or ill appear in your room at night 🔫 anygays HAVE FUN READING THIS I hope this is all the sexy wonu content you wanted, I cant wait for your reaction hehehhehe
and also bigbigbigbig thank you to jessifer @the-boy-meets-evil for proofing this for me!!! ily heh
and and to everyone reading this who is not cam, I hope you enjoy reading mechanic!wonu as much as I liked writing him heheh PLS REMEMBER TO REBLOG AND TELL ME UR THOTS it could be in the tags, replies, an ask literally anything!!!! id love to hear what you guys think!!!!
masterlist
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 [You]: do you think he died on the way [Liv]: hes still not there??? [You]: what do you think????? [Liv]: let me ask Amelia [You]: dont bother [You]: he can show up whenever he wants im leaving in 5 [Liv]: you promised you’d sit thru this!! [You]: sit thru what? an empty seat across from me???
Liv doesn’t respond immediately, and you immediately know she’s buggered off to ask her cousin why your date still wasn’t here. 
It’s not like you couldn’t have asked him yourself, the sparse textbox sitting just under Liv’s contact. You open it to inspect the contents. 
[liv’s cousin’s something]: Amelia gave me your number [liv’s cousin’s something]: friday night at the sage&salt at 7  [liv’s cousin’s something]: is that okay [You]: uh hey [You]: yeah that’s fine
Today 7:20 PM
[You]: im here?
The first thread of texts were enough to make you feel like this was some cold business meeting instead of a date, knowing wherever this would lead would be either the city dump or off a cliff. Liv was hearing none of it, taking the guilt tripping route, saying she’d already committed and her cousin was irritating enough even without a scuffle.
So when Friday evening came around you’d pulled on the first dress your fingers could find, took all of ten minutes fighting with your makeup to make it look like you did something and left the house with zero expectations. 
Despite that, as you see a man walk into the establishment dressed like he’d gotten into a fight with a squid and a paper shredder, you feel the stone in your chest tank into the abyss. Zero expectations, and he’s somehow managed to strike out anyway. 
The jacket looks like he’s put it on as a weak cover for the grime stains on his shirt and trousers, a couple jet black splatters across the outfit to really pull the whole thing together. It’s not like he looked homeless or anything, his face surprisingly handsome with his hair pushed away from his forehead. Although he remains looking like he’d been playing football in some neighbourhood parking lot before remembering he had an adult appointment too. 
You’d never seen the man in your life, but your gut told you this was the shit texter who’d kept you waiting for nearly an hour. He seems to notice too, eyes locking from across the restaurant as the waitress leads him to your table. 
“Wonwoo,” you greet with a difficult smile, half sure it came out as a grimace. “Right?”
“Yeah,” he huffs as he practically slams back down on the chair, and you wonder for a moment how the legs didn’t give out. He says your name and you nod. “Sorry I’m late, I got a call in the parking lot.”
He’s been in the parking lot this entire time?!
It’s like you’ve been doused in gasoline and lit on fire, yet somehow needing to give him a shaky reply anyway. 
“O–oh, I see.”
The waitress saves you from spitting in his face when she asks if you were ready to order. 
Dinner was off the table, as you discussed with Liv who forwarded it to her cousin to her–whoever it was that set up this god awful date–and agreed on dessert and perhaps a drink. 
“I’ll have the chocolate cake,” you request in an attempt to make this somewhat better. You consider for a moment before asking for a drink as well, “And a dry gin martini, please.”
“Um,” he staggers as he barely skims the menu, ultimately flipping it closed. “I’ll have the same, I guess.”
Deep voice. You might’ve liked that if you weren’t already so peeved. 
The waitress disappears with the menus, leaving you two alone for the first time. 
“So,” you start with an exhale. “How do you know Amelia?”
“Her husband.”
“I see.”
Silence. 
“How do you know her husband?”
He sighs like this is all inconveniencing him, and it irks you to an irrespective degree. Like you wanted to be here either. 
“He brings his car to the workshop alot, became friends somewhere along the line.”
“Workshop?”
He looks a little startled, cocking his head to the side. “I’m a mechanic? Did Olivia–was it–not tell you?”
“No, she didn’t.”
It’s silent yet again as the man across from you refuses to elaborate. You curse as you ask him a follow up question. If there was anything you hated more than shouldering a dead conversation, it was sitting through an awkward silence. 
One hour. You’d sit through this for one more hour and then you’d leave. 
“What kind of cars do you work on?”
“Expensive ones,” he answers. You might’ve kicked yourself if he’d ended it at that, but he continues with a purse of his lips. “Ones that rich people abuse to an inch of the machine’s life and wonder why the dealership gives up on it. Vintage pieces too.”
“Have I heard of it?”
“The cars?”
“No, I mean,” you let out a breath. “Your workshop.”
“Jeon Motors, just a couple streets down actually.”
You did know what he was talking about, not expecting to recognise it through the empty question, passing by it on multiple occasions in this part of the city.
“Oh, I’ve seen it a few times.”
“Yeah, we’ve been there for a while.”
“Family business?”
“Uh–sort of.” 
“Okay,” you sigh in an irritated laugh. This was going to be a very difficult hour. “Keep that to yourself too.”
“Is there a problem?”
Just as you lift your eyes to lock with his, a ready yes, there is actually a problem on your tongue, there’s an intrusion. 
“Here are your chocolate cakes,” the waitress places the cakes down, and then the drinks. “And your dry gin martinis. Do you guys need anything else?” By the time the waitress is gone you’ve somewhat forced yourself to put that sudden surge of flames out, to a degree at least. 
“Okay,” he sighs, grabbing his glass and downing nearly half the contents. He emerges, wiping a bit of a spill from the corner of his mouth. “Let’s get this out of the way.”
“Hm?” He’s speaking to you with a very weird surge of intensity, and it confuses you.
“Neither of us wanna be here. You’re clearly trying to be hospitable but I’d really rather you not, especially when we’re both doing this to get our respective ticks off our hides.”
There isn’t much you can do but stare at him. 
“Have I misjudged your advances?” he asks over his glass, sharp eyes piercing. 
“No!” you yelp, reaching for your drink yourself, taking big sips only to emerge sputtering and heaving. 
Your date looks like he’s rising out of his chair when you raise a hand to stop him. 
“No,” you repeat, less jumpy this time. “I guess we could’ve cleared that out from before.”
Did he…snort?
“Sorry.” Dropping his chin to his chest, he composes himself. 
“What?” you ask, remaining annoyed as ever. 
“Nothing.”
That does it. You slam your now empty glass down on the table, slipping your fork out of the napkin a little forcefully, the metal glinting in the light of the restaurant. You dig into a corner of the cake and shove it in your mouth. 
If he was gonna be rude, you could be too. 
“I don’t know about hospitable.” You swallow. “But I assumed not being an ass was kind of an unwritten rule for any situation really. Including the ones you’d rather not be in.”
Wonwoo stares at you with a blank face, his cake untouched. “I’m being an ass. My laugh couldn’t have offended you that much.”
“So you did pick that up,” you comment. “With the way this conversation’s going I would’ve thought it flew right over your engine.”
“I’d argue your laugh was the least offensive thing you’ve done tonight.” You plunge your fork into your cake again. “But clearly we’re in different realms of etiquette.”
Your eyes meet the rough stains on his attire, and then his own that bore into yours like a challenge. The cake isn’t too sweet, rich just the right amount and texturally sound. Maybe something good did come out of this fiasco. 
“Okay fine,” he announces, sitting up straighter. “I apologise.”
“For laughing?”
“And for being obscenely late.”
“And?”
“And…” he genuinely looks like he’s struggling to figure it out, but catches your eyes flickering to his tattered and stained outfit. “And for my entirely inappropriate dressing sense. You’ll have to forgive me for that one, oil and grime are my spoils of war.”
“Wear it like a badge, mister mechanic, but perhaps somewhere it’s appreciated.” 
Wonwoo has already finished his drink, his cake remaining untouched. “You’re quite adamant on disliking me.”
“And you’re quite adamant on being a horrid conversationalist.”
The corners of his mouth lift the slightest bit. Opening his mouth to respond, you cut him off. “Cars don’t talk? Or perhaps, machines are easier to understand?”
“More like I don’t care to be personable.”
“That can’t be good for business.”
“The cars speak for themselves.”
He’s a weird one. Even more so when he offers to pay the entire bill, promising you he wasn’t lying when he said he was good at what he does, and to “make up for lost personality points.” You manage to pay your half anyway, considering the circumstances. 
“Can you at least let me drive you home?” Wonwoo asks as you both step out of the establishment soon after. 
“Depends.” You fix the strap of your bag. “Will it fall apart on the highway?”
The blaring white of the restaurant's outdoor lights backlight Wonwoo to make him look like some sad angel. He turns to you, the same slight smirk that seems to be plastered on his face. “Why don’t you find out?”
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“What do you mean sell it? I got this thing a year ago!” 
There isn’t much you can do but sigh loudly as you listen to Olivia talk about the state of her car, the one that cost too much to justify but she seemed to use and abuse like a very replaceable toy truck. 
Leaning against the hood of the darn thing, you talk to her. “The dealership is giving you a shit deal to take it off your hands, you might as well try your luck.”
The look on her face is easy to read as she silences. Not convinced in the slightest, waiting for the conversation to end just so she could figure it out on her own. Sighing loudly, you look back to the dark beauty with a crate of issues that make it spit and sputter to a stop every few weeks. 
“How much did you say the repairs cost again?”
“Enough to put me on food stamps,” she whines through her frustration, tears pricking against her eyes as they glisten under the neighbourhood streetlights. “Why are you smirking like that?!”
“It’s just,” you pause as you consider your next words, pressing your lips together. “This is a little bit your fault.”
Lies, it was entirely her fault. 
Liv stares like you’ve just offended her, which you’re sure you have.
“Care to share how this possible bankruptcy could be my fault?"
“Because you drive the thing like you have a secret reserve buried somewhere in Tenerife.”
“My apologies for making a habit of not being a public nuisance and going forty on a national highway.”
“Your speed-o-metre is not the issue here.”
“Yes, of course, everything’s my fault.”
“Liv, please!” You groan loudly. “Just…let’s try putting up a listing tomorrow. Consider the prospects and you can decide from there.”
Sagging her shoulders and stretching her neck, Liv decides to simply trudge back indoors in silence. You take it as a begrudging yes, and follow her inside. 
That very night, when you were at the very cusp of falling into the dark space of sleep, your brain re-awakens before your eyes do. A jolt as the memory comes back to you of the many months ago, sitting in that restaurant across from a man who was too handsome for the personality he seemed to sire. 
“Expensive ones,” he had said. “Ones that rich people abuse to an inch of the machine’s life and wonder why the dealership gives up on it.”
How fitting. 
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“Are you going to explain or should I explode instead?” 
You’d mentally prepared for the bombardment of accusations from Liv, her questioning perfectly right as you yourself cringed at the thought of showing your face here of all places. The one last one that’d officially banned her from ever setting you up with an individual of her choosing ever again. 
Hearing only silence as her answer, she appeals; “I thought he was the worst date of your life.”
“Nothing to do with his skills as a mechanic,” you mumble, refusing to make eye contact. 
“And everything to do with this being a horrible idea anyway!” Liv stares up at the sign on top of the garage. Jeon Motors. “What makes you think this guy can fix my car?”
What did make you think he could fix Liv’s car? If you’d known you might have given her an answer, but as you stare at the giant signboard that you’ve driven past for longer than you can remember, you can’t help but feel this place has been haunting you. Just a little. 
You can’t help but feel the tingle of goosebumps rise on your skin, the hairs across the expanse standing up at the thought of walking inside. There was no way you could differentiate the reaction from plain nerves or from the cringing drills that sound all the way outside the establishment. Regardless, you make an attempt to look confident as you make your strides into the pungent of the workshop. 
The first thing you note is how…clean everything is. Cleaner than any other workshop you’ve walked into anyway. 
The interior is bigger than it looks from the outside, the ginormous hall hosting about a dozen cars within your eyeshot alone. One side of the great hall holds an array of parked cars in different stages of dismantled and deconstructed, while the other side is lined with contraptions that look like stripped and enlarged elevators. 
Once you’ve inhaled a beyond recommended amount of smoke fumes and listened past all of the clanging, banging and sparks, you register the people that are elbow deep in the hoods of the vehicle they’re working on, enough to leave you and Liv standing at the entrance of an establishment that you can barely make sense of. 
“Can I help you?” A man in stained beige overalls approaches your wide eyed pair, face half covered in his baseball hat and hands occupied with a rag. 
To your slightest dismay, it isn’t the man you’re looking for.
“Uh– is Wonwoo here?” you ask. 
“He’s in a meeting right now. Are you a friend?” 
No, just a failed love interest.
“He,” you falter. If you weren’t a friend…then what were you? “He gave me his card.”
“Do you need help with your car?”
“Mine, actually,” Liv pipes. “It’s outside if you wanna take a look first.”
With one sweeping look across the warehouse, your eyes land on one of the few doors on the left. You register the plain look of it for barely a moment before joining Liv outside. 
By the time her car has been rolled and parked inside for a more thorough inspection, it’s taken you every last grain of your willpower to not stalk back out and wait in your car. For whatever reason, you can’t help but feel a very familiar spasm of irritation spark through you. Here you are, left anxiously waiting for the same man for a second time, merely feet away but remaining occupied with more important things. 
At the very least, the multiple hands prodding around the car’s engine were being somewhat of use, attempting to survey the same issues that had been looked at about a dozen times before. You silently promise to be a better person if this trip wouldn’t be for vain.  
“Am I late for something again?” 
Your throat is suddenly clogged as you open your mouth and no sound graces your presence. The face that meets you has his eyebrows raised as he stares at you in expectation, a ghost of a smile on his face. 
“W–Wonwoo, hi, um.” You clear your throat loudly, heat cursing your cheeks. “No, of course not.”
“To what do I owe the pleasure after…four months?” he asks, hands on his hips and his back straightened.
“I…my friend’s car needed to be looked at so…”
“Ah, of course!” He turns to where you’ve motioned, looking at the popped hood of the car his employees are working on. “I’ll take a look at it myself, don’t worry about it.”
He’s already walking away, towards the car and leaving you a ways away from the action. You stare at his back; the overalls tied at the waist and the stained white T-shirt that clings to his form from the humidity.
Wonwoo remains a man of a few words, and you remain at wits end about it all. 
A loud honk gives you something to do as you jump at the sound so up close, scrambling to move away from the smack centre as another car pulls into the garage. 
“Careful, those marks on the floor aren’t just oil and paint.” Wonwoo snickers from his place hunched over the hood as he cranes his neck to look at you. 
You walk over to where he is to get out of the way. “Was that meant to sound like an innuendo?”
“I was talking about the occasional running over someone’s foot,” he answers. “Not sure what you were thinking.” 
Ignoring the jab, you note that it was now only you and him crowding the car, “Where’s Olivia?”
“Went to look at spare parts.” You watch him as his gloved hands reach further into the enclave and yank at something hard. 
“So you can fix it?” 
“The car? It’ll take a couple days but it’s not really an issue.”
Furrowing your brows, you press on, “But the dealership—”
“Dealerships are the spawn of the devil,” he grunts as he finally wrenches out a spare nut or bolt or something that’s covered in oil. “Let me guess, they wanted her to sell it back to them?”
It’s your turn to raise your brows. “Yes. They tried fixing it, but it'd just stop again.”
“Because they’ve been fixing the symptoms.” He raises his eyes to meet yours, hands occupied with rubbing the part in his hands relatively clean with a rag. “They haven’t bothered to do anything about the actual problem.” 
“Because that’s gonna cost…?”
“Couple hundred, give or take,” he announces nonchalantly, turning his focus back to the engine. 
“But—” That’s it?
“Fifty extra for every question I have to answer after this.” You briefly wonder if Wonwoo’s eyes were always this piercing, boring into your soul like he didn’t need words to know what was going on with you. 
“Fine,” you huff, moving to drag a chair over, mostly just so you could have reason to break eye contact, and plop down as you watch him work. 
The more you think about it, the more you can find yourself unbothered by his strange behaviour. He wasn’t bleak, but nowhere near one of the more interesting people you’ve met. Taking the opportunity to really scan the man head to toe, you can’t say you find anything truly concrete to be this put off by him. 
Not much of a talker, but with the times you’ve prayed for a man that knew when to shut up sometimes, you wonder how much you can actually complain about this boon in particular. 
Besides, he was a looker, and you were completely content shutting your trap if it meant you got to shamelessly ogle at him from this close. 
“You know, this place looks bigger than it does from the outside.”
Wonwoo stares pointedly. 
You raise a shoulder in nonchalance, “Wasn’t a question!”
He simply huffs as he mumbles, “More length than breadth I suppose.”
“What are those things called?” you ask as you watch a sedan get lifted into the on some platform on the other end of the row. 
Glancing back, he answers, “Post lift, car lift, whatever you wanna call it.”
“What does it do?”
“Take a wild guess.”
“Touché.” 
Glancing back at him, you catch sight of his stained shirt once again. “Is that the same thing you wore to our date?”
Chin to chest, he registers what he’s wearing, hands still working on pulling bolts and boxes out of the hood. “Have about twenty of the same shirt, I can never be too sure.”
“You’re impossible.”
He smirks, “Touché.” 
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You questioned if this was a mistake. 
Olivia could pick up her car herself, so why did you insist to be the one that did it? As you pay the taxi driver, you feel your ankles lock for a moment as you move to slip out of the cab. Frozen, you hear the driver ask you if everything was alright, to which your legs seem to work again, finally foot to gravel in front of the dreaded workshop.
The Jeon Motors sign blares the same as it always has in the afternoon light, glinting as it encourages you to walk in and do one of the stupider things you’ve done in life. Other than the ridiculous outfit you’ve put on, of course. 
But alas, as you hand over your slip to one of the many mechanics in the workshop, you find yourself praying he wasn’t here after all, that perhaps you could miss him as you leave and never have to see him again. 
Somebody yells out his name, and the dream drifts away like smoke. 
Finding the courage, you look up to where the man shouted for him, and immediately wish you hadn’t. 
Wonwoo remains in his overalls, the same ones that he had tied to his waist the last time you saw him. His undershirt however…
The tank top is revealing too much for you to pretend you don’t care, his hair remaining pushed back and away from his forehead as he walks over to you in what feels like slow motion. He takes the slip that he does not need, smiling at you as he says his hellos. 
“Car’s all fixed up, just need some papers that need signing and you’re all set.”
“Oh, but Liv isn’t here today.”
“That’s alright, you can sign them too,” he reassures, motioning for you to walk with him towards the car. “The car was alright in the test drives, revving hasn’t caused any problems either.”
He halts in front of the now (supposedly) fixed black sedan and pats the hood lightly, “If anything happens tell her to bring it straight here, although it shouldn’t have any more problems.”
“What’s your rate of return on customers?” you ask, a slight smirk on your face.
He thinks for a moment, “Pretty crap. But I guess that means I’m doing something right.”
You consider yourself something of a helicopter parent when it comes to your own car, but perhaps you’d change that if it meant you’d get to come here a little more often. 
Goodness, what’s gotten into you.
Wonwoo’s smiling too, and for a brief moment the silence is nearly awkward. A pause before he proposes leaving. 
“Shall we go to the office then?” 
Nodding eagerly, you trail behind him as he leads you towards the other end of the workshop, passing by even more cars in all their stripped or constructed glory. Glancing in front, you catch sight of Wonwoo’s back, ensnared for a moment before you snap your head away, reciting every curse word you know like a mantra. 
“It’s less hot in here too, keep the air on all the time.” Wonwoo stands in front of the plain doors, hands on the handle to wrench it open. You recognise it as the same door you had noted a few days ago. “Would you like anything? Coffee, tea?”
“Um, just water is fine, thanks.”
It’s quite plain, beige and leather against cream walls and unfittingly white lights. There’s a desk on one corner that’s beyond cluttered with more papers than you can register, pens and other office supplies mixed into the disorganised chaos of the large tabletop.
“Sorry about the mess, I can never find time to sort through it.” To your surprise, the light tinge of his cheeks suggest he might actually feel a little embarrassed. 
Cute. 
There’s cabinets that line on one of the far walls, and you watch him take his gloves off to open it and reach for a cup. The white porcelain emerges stained with an ashy grey as his fingers betray him. He looks flustered, glancing at his hands and back up to the cabinet. 
You can’t help but laugh a little, moving forward to help. “It’s alright, let me.”
“Sorry,” he apologised again, with a sheepish look on his face. “I’ll, um, wash this off.”
“Go on, I’m here,” you reassure as you move towards the water dispenser in the corner to fill your clean cup. 
He returns with significantly cleaner hands and apologises one last time. “Seems all I do around you is apologise.”
You have the good humour to chuckle, “So I’ve noticed.”
He does well to clear out most of the clutter that’s on his desk, leaving enough room to set down a few pieces of paper as you take a seat on the opposite side. 
As you scan through the papers, he attempts to make sober conversation. “You should…bring your car around for inspections if you want.”
“Oh? Even if I ask a million questions?”
“I can make an exception or two,” he grins. 
“And if you charge me double?”
“Might not charge you at all.”
“Might?” you question as you lift the pen he’d given you to sign the first space. 
“Might.”
“And what’re the conditions for that?” 
He doesn’t answer as he ponders and you fill in the second blank. “I’ll have to think about that.”
You snort before you can help it, your last signature coming out a little wonky as your hands shake. Turning the papers over to him, you continue, “Well then, let me know when you figure it out.”
He stares pointedly as he accepts the papers before dropping his eyes again, “Can I?”
“Hm?”
“Can I? Let you know?” 
It’s like you’ve been frozen over, the typewriter in your mind jamming as it punches out the implications of what he’s saying. 
“It seems, at least to me, that we may have gotten off on the wrong foot,” he continues. 
You hesitate. “I think so too.”
“I…I don’t want to put anything like pressure on you but–” 
“Would you like to try the new gelato place downtown this week?” you ask finally as you save him from his misery. “If…you’d like.”
He looks stunned for a moment before he’s scrambling, “Oh–of course! Yes, anytime is fine with me.”
“Great,” you smile, lifting from your seat. “It’s a date.”
“I’ll promise to wash my hands this time…and my shirt. And I won’t be late.” 
“Let’s not make promises we can’t keep,” you tease. 
You’re nearing the door as he follows behind, and just as you’re about to pull down on the handle, you hear him say your name. 
Turning around, almost too eagerly, you look up at him in expectation. He’s close, almost right behind you as he looks like he’s debating whether opening his mouth is a good idea. 
“Are you doing anything else today?” 
“Um,” you stutter for a moment. “I don’t have to drop off the car till later tonight, that’s all really.”
He swallows. “Do you wanna stay? Just a little while. We can stay in here, nobody comes in anyway.”
You aren’t entirely sure why you said yes, because you did actually have dinner plans with Liv later tonight, but the teeny tiny voice in your mind egged you on anyway. Besides, Liv wouldn’t mind, not if you were cancelling for this.
This entailed the very friendly contact of Wonwoo’s tongue in your mouth, and the extremely cordial way it seemed to caress your insides. If somebody asked you how it led to this, you don’t think you’d have an answer. Not that you care, especially when his hands are grabbing your waist and hips like that.
He’s already locked the door, reassuring you that nobody would find their boss and client in the smack dab middle of the devil’s tango. You take his word for it, relishing in the way his hot breath hits your skin below your ears, his mouth sucking under your earlobes as you whimper ever so quietly. 
Your hands are on his exposed biceps, feeling him up all to your heart's content. “Do you–Do you always wear stuff like this?”
He emerges, wet lipped and eyes trained. “So I wasn’t imagining it.”
“Imagining what?” you ask as you let him unbuckle your trousers.
“Please. Like you weren’t stripping me with your eyes.”
If you were warm before you, you're boiling up now. Were you being so obvious?
“It’s alright,” he reassures as you feel his fingers make contact with the crotch of your panties, pushing in to put pressure on your clit. “Wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t picked up on it.”
You feel his fingers push the dampening fabric away as his fingers make contact with your hole, coating his fingers in the arousal that’s made itself known. It’s hard to not hiss at the way he begins to circle it, thanking the universe that the loud noises of the workshop outside were masking whatever evidence of the heinous crime you were committing inside. 
Back against the couch in his office, you settle into the cushions once you feel him rub at your clit, one hand spreading your lips apart as he continues to massage your own wetness onto your throbbing cunt. 
When he retreats you almost cry out, but are smothered when he plunges two fingers into your hole instead, curling them almost immediately inside you. The consistent brush of the tips of his fingers on your walls are making it difficult to keep your eyes open, and absolutely impossible to keep your moans at bay. 
“Wonwoo, that’s so good, fuck.”
Through your closed eyes, you don’t note when Wonwoo gets on his knees. But you do feel him yank your trousers off entirely, and you definitely feel him place his wet mouth flush on your lower lips, sucking at your clit as he continues to pump his fingers in and out of you mercilessly. 
That’s all it takes for your noises to become increasingly high pitched, hands buried in his beautiful hair as he continues to pleasure you beyond imagination. 
“I’m so close, keep going, please, it feels so–”
He somehow buries his face in deeper, sucking harder, licking faster, and it’s enough for you to finally feel yourself collapsing on the inside, your composure dissolving as you moan so loud you’re sure they can hear it outside, even through all the clanging and revs of cars. 
There’s no way for you to know how long you lay there slumped against the couch cushions, but when you hear Wonwoo speak to you in your ear, you answer. 
“Was that okay?”
“More than okay,” you say as you grab his face and pull his lips to yours, tasting the tang in his mouth from your arousal. “Do you have a condom?”
“I–fuck,” he thinks for a moment. “I don’t think I do.”
You try not to feel too disappointed, but you sigh into his mouth anyway. 
“Can I fuck your thighs?” you hear him ask, and you might have just orgasmed again, untouched. 
“Fuck, yes you can.” 
With a yelp, you feel yourself lifted off the couch as you wrap your arms around Wonwoo’s neck, letting him guide you to his desk. “Wonwoo!”
You hear a loud crash of the desk being stripped of all its inhabitants, and your back hitting the cool of the table top. 
Wonwoo unties the arms of his overalls around his waist, letting the legs pool to the floor before slipping his hard cock out of his boxers. 
You don’t see it as you feel him lock your knees together and lift both your calves to rest on one of his shoulders. But you do feel it as he pushes the head into the seam of your thighs, watching the indent as the pink of his dick appears before you through the skin of your thighs. 
Wonwoo’s face is contorted as he pulls back and pushes back through again, this time brushing against your still sensitive clit. You gasp at contact, and immediately feel him thrusting faster. 
“Wonwoo,” you grunt. “Lower.”
He obliges, pushing his dick lower so it can rub flush against your clit as he begins to roughen up his pace. 
You moan as you feel his free hand that isn’t holding your legs trail to the ends of your shirt, caressing over your stomach to pull it up and reveal your bra clad tits. He pushes his hands under the nearest cup and begins to grope you so wonderfully with his big, warm hands. Rolling the bud between his fingers, you can only grasp onto his wrists as a handheld to keep you down on earth. 
The desk beneath you is rattling with noise, the full drawers making themselves known as Wonwoo pounds into your thighs like he would die if he stopped, mouth coming in contact with whatever skin of your legs he could reach, his breath fanning the side of your knees. 
You’re close again, and you know he is too with the way his thrusts are beginning to grow sloppy. 
“There,” he pants. “Almost.”
You orgasm for the second time, the throb your clit beyond comprehension as the rough of his dick slides across your clit mercilessly. 
“Cum like this, Wonwoo please I need to see you cum.”
And he does, shooting the heft of his load to cover your already wet cunt and thighs, landing on your stomach as he continues to ride out his high between your legs. 
The back of your head hits the table as you take in gulps of air through the aftermath of it all. Wonwoo is putting his weight on the back of your thighs, holding onto the table for support. 
“Oh, Liv is never gonna let me live this down,” you pant, lolling your head to one side as you register him. 
He peers up at you through his hair, the stupid smirk on his face, “Do you care?”
You’re smiling a little too when you answer, “Not really.”
And then your legs are off his shoulders as he nestles between them instead, diving in to lift your head and kiss you. 
And you let him, although you wouldn’t really call it too much of a kiss—not when the both of you were smiling like idiots through the clash. 
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frecht · 2 years
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my friend is always like ugh i hate having no work to do i love cramming and then she doesn't do her work when she has only one class on wednesdays and only one class on fridays and none on mondays and then she cancels plans for having too much work. this happens repeatedly. >:( it is really getting on my nerves.
#like if we have had the plans for 2 weeks and you just cancel now when i am checking in with the meeting time for tomorrow... :/#and i knowww her saying she loves doing her work doesnt mean shes going to do it but come ON. why do you always never have time.#because we have time for when you organize a party but even THEN she changed the plans and we had to eat at the dining hall :(#AND ALSO her annoying boyfriend is probably still coming :( i cant kick him out now since i already said he could come but like .. :(#to be fair he does not know that i dont like him#UGHHH i am just so annoyed. like is it so hard to manage your time with work so you can make it to the things we plan?#our other friend is a BIO major and she hasn't cancelled any!#i dont know why this is bothering me so much she seems genuinely sorry but like.... its bugging me anyway.#maybe if im lucky since she's not coming her boyfriend wont either. but hes technically part of the group#(read: he is friends with everyone except me because i do not like him) so i dont think that will be the case#ANYWAY now that im venting im going to complain about him too.#i cant say anything in real life because hes not a bad person our vibes just disagree.#but like. because he's a sophomore and the rest of us are freshmen he acts like he knows everything about the school#i thnk he is just trying to help but hes like . annoying about it UGH i cant verbalize it.#but he does give off the vibe that he thinks he knows everything and is right all the time and should be authority etc#he also always sends anime gifs in response to things in the discord and it's annoying . like this message didnt warrant a response anyway.#ANYWAY im easily the problem here but every so often i do hope they break up so i never have to eat lunch with him again.#i do get a little sick joy from when he said that he knows when people dont like him but he clearly doesnt#bc he still thinks i like him. he sat down by me at breakfast when i was alone with my other friend who is not in our group#talkin
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6ix9inewiturmom · 5 months
Text
Long day- matt Sturniolo
Summary: You had a long day at work and matt gives you some lovin to help with your long day :)
Warnings: SMUT, P in V, parsing, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex, cream pie, use of Y/N, Dirty talking, Degradation, aftercare!
A/N: I LOVE SWEET MATT!! ITS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE!! ignore the song, i couldn’t find one so since he knows sm about bags
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Today has genuinely been the worst and longest day of my life. I’ve worked front desk at a salon for the last year and a half now, i had people coming in asking me about what to do for their hair type, karen’s complaining about their hair, just overall horrible, im just the front desk lady for right now i cant really tell these fucking people what to do, make a damn appointment. Matt and I have been together for 3 years, and have been dating to the public for a year and a half, when i graduated cosmetology school. thankfully after this cursed wednesday evening i was on my way to Matt and i’s house that we also share with his triplet brothers. i pull into the driveway and make my way to the door and unlocking it.
“Baby?” i yell walking up the steps.
“he’s been in his room playing video games streaming for like 4 hours” nick says shooting me a quick smile before looking back at his phone.
i knock softly on the door “jesus christ im streaming guys” matt slams his head set down on his table and opens the door “Wha- oh my god Y/N i’m so sorry i thought it was one of them” he says quickly changing his tone giving me a soft peck on the lips.
“it’s fine” i breath out giving him a smile walking into his room.
“tell the stream Hi, baby” he pulls my hand into frame making me force a smile onto my face.
“hi everyone” i awkwardly wave to his camera watching the chat go absolutely crazy when i entered.
“okay well i’m gonna end this cause the mother of my future kids just got here” he says making a smile appear on my face.
he ends the stream and turns around facing me almost analyzing me.
“why do you keep looking at me like that?” i roll my eyes and make my way to our shared closet pulling out a pair of his sweats and a T shirt of his.
he walks towards me leaning against the door frame “all of your clothes in that closet and you still choose to wear mine, but to answer your question you seem off” he says softening his tone.
“i’m fucking fine matt, damn, all on my ass for nothing” i groan out pushing him out of my way and falling on the bed scrolling on my phone.
“umm okay” he huffs sitting down next to me on the bed “so how was work?” he says breaking the silence of tiktok playing in the background.
i groan “it was long i guess” i place my phone on the bedside table and turn towards him.
“you guess?” he questions giving me a soft smile.
“find it was so dreadful, answering calls from people who can look up these answers on google, and oh my god i had this karen come in and” i laugh softly “and she literally accidentally tried this hair mask and fried half her hair and blamed it on me, knowing i’m just the front desk representative, then on top of all of that this lady yelled at me for eating carrots at the front desk” i say while he’s staring at me passionately listening to everything i have to say.
“did you say anything to that lady who yelled at you?” he asked while looking in my eyes as passionately as he can.
“my manager heard her yelling at me calling me ‘unprofessional and rude’ and ended up almost calling the cops on her for causing a disturbance” i smile back at him.
“well it sounds like to me you need a little distraction from your long day at work eh?” he smirks leaning into me as i playfully roll my eyes and lean into him crashing his lips onto mine smiling into his kiss.
he softly places his hand on my cheek pointing his tongue out a little begging to explore my mouth, i slightly open my mouth as his tongue dives into my mouth immediately taking dominance from my tongue and intertwining with mine. his hand travels from my cheek to my breast giving my bare breast a gentle squeeze causing a soft whimper to escape my lips. his hand travels down to my waist and toying with the waistband of my his sweatpants.
“can i?” matt pulls away and softly asks me.
i smile and playfully roll my eyes “yes matt you can”
he carefully crawls on top of me tapping my waist as a signal to lift my hips up. he pulls my pink lacy underwear and pants down together in one throwing them on the other side of the room.
“such a pretty pussy” he says softly running his slim fingers in between my wet folds collecting my arousal onto his fingers “and so wet” he smirks back up at me.
“matt” i drag his name out in a whine, “please don’t tease me” i stare desperately into his eyes through my eyelashes.
“Only because you asked so nicely my love” he smiles at me leaning down and starts placing mouth kisses directly into my clit flicking upwards with his tongue.
“Oh fuck Matt” I moan out placing my hand on top of his head and pulling at his hair causing him to grunt through my pussy sending vibrations through me.
“You like this hm?” he smiles and shoves his fingers into my hole curving them slightly upward and making me go absolutely insane.
“Yes!” I chant repeatedly.
My walls tighten around his fingers and my clit spasms between his teeth. “Someone’s close eh?” he smirks leaning his head upwards while moving his fingers in and out while reaching my sensitive clit with his thumb making figure 8 movements around my bud.
“S-so close Matt” I cry out arching my back off the bed and rolling my eyes back.
“Uh-huh? You close?” he taunts smiling at me and immediately thrusts his fingers into me touching my G-spot so easily.
“YES- FUCK MATT” My hips twitched upwards “FUCK I'M GONNA CUM” I scream out bucking my hips up.
“Come on baby, cum for me” his voice softens looking down at me coming unglued from just his fingers with amusement in his eyes.
With just his words, the knot in my stomach broke and cum dripped down from me and onto his fingers.
He lightly tapped my leg “I ain't done with you just yet, sweetheart” he said smirking at me.
“Matt I don't know if I can take another one..” I said out of breath still coming down from my very intense orgasm.
“You know your safe word, Y/N,” he says ripping his shirt off. “And you never have to be afraid of using it, I'll stop immediately you know this.” he pulls his sweatpants and boxers off in one freeing his hard cock and slapping his stomach.
he crawls over me placing my legs on either side of his hips and slowly agonizing using his tip to slide through my wet folds teasing me.
“Matt,” i whine “please fuck me”
“Patience sweet girl, patience” he smiles at me slapping his cock on my clit and making me jerk upwards and squeal.
He slowly puts his tip into me then removes it and slowly enters it again and removes it before roughly bottoming out into me gripping the headboard for support making his knuckles white.
“Oh Matt” i moan out.
He rolls his hips deeper into me smirking down at me “You like this hm? God, you feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock, and taking it so fucking well” he groans out.
My legs wrap around his waist forcing his body to get deeper each time he pushes himself into me making my eyes roll back into my head causing me to see starts, My moans become hoarse from the strain on my voice.
“Aww has my gorgeous whore gone dumb? Can't talk? What happened to all that attitude you had earlier?” he grabs my chin between his thumb and index finger.
“Uh huh, uh huh” i bite my lower lip and nodding vigorously.
“Words or I stop” he thrusts his hips deeper into me and maintains his violent thrusts.
“YES MATT FUCK- RIGHT FUCKIN THERE” I finally answer him with a strain in my voice.
My response only made him thrust into me deeper and faster. My cervix spasms around his cock signaling how close i am making a long groan exit from his lips. “Hold it”
He rolls his hips and pounds his hips into mine “Matt” I drag out his name with a moan.
“Come on, you got it” he nods his head continuing to thrust and abuse my cervix.
“S-so f-fucking close” I whisper scream out.
“Cum” he buries his head into my neck moving his hips in a way that kisses my cervix making me release all over his cock creating a white ring around the base of his cock.
His thrusts become sloppier as he releases into me painting my once pink walls a nice white color and slowly pulling out watching a mixture of his cum and mine slowly fall from my hole.
He vaults to his bathroom quickly so no one catches a glimpse of him or me in our naked state to grabs a warm cloth and slowly runs it down my legs cleaning him and me up before lying next to me placing my head on his chest.
“I'm sorry for the attitude I had earlier, I just had a rough day and shouldn't have taken it out on you,” I say “Thank you for lighting my mood up” I smile facing the TV drawing small circles on his stomach.
“Hey don't worry about it, we all got bad days baby, I'm just glad you're good now, that's all that matters to me” he softly says running his fingers through my hair and massaging my scalp and falling fast asleep in Matts arms.
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A/N Pt 2: HEY LOVES!! Sorry I haven't been so active in trying to recover from being violently hungover for the last 2 days LMFAOO… I HOPE U GUYS ENJOY!! i promise ill be active more!!
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valsdelulucorner · 3 months
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Heyo!
I just remembered that i had asked you about the different concepts and au's so i could have a better idea of what ask
What's your stardew valley Cryptid Farmer au like? People's perceptions and reactions to cryptid/eldritch farmer? Are people still romancing cryptid creature farmer 👀 who's the most chill with Eldritch Farmer?
Very interested
I just came back from a small mental health break so please don't mind any spelling mistakes
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What if the farmer wasn't entirely human?
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-So the Stardew valley cryptid AU, the farmer takes the place of the old farmers grandchild. It was their only chance of a normal life so they took it, discarding of the true farmer before taking their form and listening through their memories.
-In my Og wip where i explained abit about the story line, lets say that the bachelors and or the bachelorettes find you having a full blown meltdown in your farmhouse, literally. Your skin slowly melts away as you try and grab at your skin, trying to hold onto your identity. Lets say you are at 8 hearts with all of them, some would be concerned for you, some would loose their lunch at the sight of your skin, and Harvey and Hailey will 100% pass out or scream
-They do manage to calm down before going in and helping you out though, putting harvey/hailey (depends on which group you choose) on the sofa before tending to you. They may be supportive but they want answers, what are you? After a long, serious talk with them all and after regaining your human form once more, they start to trust you again but only with the promise that there will be no more secrets which you gladly accept
-You will never tell them that you arn't the true farmer, you never will. They cant know, they will never know.
-The towns people find you normal at first, just a friendly farmer that goes about their day but then it starts to become more clear that you are not normal the more your friendship goes up around the valley, though no one says anything as to not be rude. Once it does slip that you aren't human, some villagers become more weary around you, particularly the elder ones of the valley. The more you interact with them and try and regain their trust again, they will start to warm up to you once more, even impressed when you use your supernatural abilities to help around the town.
-Evelyn mentions on rainy days that the roof sometimes leaks so imagine her surprise when you morph your body and crawl up their with some supplies to fix it. The town help wanted board is easier to do know that everyone knows what you truly are so you don't have to hide it, easily morphing your body to get around the valley quicker and to make your rounds dropping off goods to the villagers. Its only when you helped robin with pams house and helped run joja out of town is when they started to actually trust you again, slowly but surely getting used to you around the valley again
-One time Abigail once got caught down in the mines and was almost seriously hurt thanks to afew of the insects, not expecting to see the absolute horror that was you absolutely obliterating them before her very eyes, only to be confused when you turned around with a soft expression and asked if she was alright (still in said form lol)
-I think the most chill out of everyone would be either Krobus or the wizard, both being supernatural beings themselves they would understand how difficult it is to be accepted into a human society
-Im not sure about who would be the least chill so i might have to go with the elders , looking mostly at George and Marlon. Marlon is a protecter of the valley, hes obviously suspicious when a random cryptid farmer waltz's in and acts like everything is fine. With george, Im not sure how to explain it but im dead set on george.
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This is so bad but im running off of 1 hour of sleep and 3 mango loco monsters I downed in the span of 2 hours so im sorry if its bad
Please tell me what should I improve on and What should I do next?
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softxsuki · 2 years
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hi!! id like to make an urgent request please :)
tw !! mention of self harm / new sh wounds , mention of a blade
if you’re alright with it, id like to request a (romantic) hawks x gn!reader where hawks walks in on reader relapsing.
ive recently grown more and more stressed and tired lately, like my energy is constantly being drained and no matter how hard i try im not enough to stop it. and i wanna reach out for help cause i know i have friends who care about me but i just cant for some reason—i dont feel the need to ask for help cause i just dont think i deserve it. no matter how many times ill comfort others i was never strong enough to ask for the same comfort, and instead of going to someone and talking about it i turn to my blade.
hawks is a big comfort character of mine and my current hyperfix, and as embarassing as it is—reading comfort fanfics of him is a way of coping with it all. so id gladly appreciate if you could write this for me :) ++ if possible, id love if youd be able to include hawks cleaning reader’s cuts, cleaning them bringd me a sense of comfort and id love to see that in the fic.
but if you’re uncomfy about anything at all, no worries ! you dont have to write this if you dont wanna :) have a lovely day<3
Hawks Comforting Reader After They Self-Harm
please do not read if any kind of mentions of self-harm will do you more harm than good!
Pairing: Hawks x Gn!reader
Warnings: mentions of self harm, blade, blood, scars
Genre: Comfort
Post-Type: Drabble
Word Count: 750
Summary: In which your BF Hawks catches you self harming and cleans up your fresh cuts
[A/N: Hey hey, so sorry for taking so long to write this, I know it was urgent. I just happened to get sick randomly and couldn't focus to write. But I finally got this done for you! I hope you're still around to read it </3. Hopefully it provides you with some comfort. Always go to others for help before taking matters into your own hands. Even if you feel like you can't, I'm sure the people in your life would love to help you out <3 I'm here too if you ever need anything! Enjoy!]
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You look back and forth between the bloody mess in front of you to the panicked face of Keigo who had walked in on you. 
He was supposed to be gone for the whole day, patrolling his designated area until later that evening. Who knew he’d stop by to check in on you, hoping to have lunch together before continuing his patrol duties. Yet, coming home to you hovering over the bathroom sink with blood dripping from your delicate skin was not what he expected at all.
Of course he knew about your history with self-harm and could very clearly see all your past scars on your body, but he never expected to see you actively harm yourself in front of him. 
“Y/N…” He starts cautiously, eyeing the blade in your hands as you shake with regret.
“I’m sorry,” you cry, dropping the blade in the sink and moving your bleeding wrists away from his view, but he quickly closes the space between you.
Gentle hands grab your own and inspect the damage done. He rolls up the sleeves of his hero suit and gets to work on cleaning you up. With a clean towel he dabs the blood away, applying slight pressure to help stop the bleeding a little, whispering an apology whenever you flinch from the pain. 
He’s silent; contemplating how he let it get this far. He was a hero for crying out loud and the one person he wanted to keep safe the most out of everyone else in the world, managed to get harmed while he was away. He was angry and frustrated at himself that he couldn’t prevent the fresh cuts on your arms. All those nights he kissed your scars and whispered sweet promises of love and protection were all for nothing. Why couldn’t he be more useful to you?
“Keigo, I didn’t mea-” you start, but he quickly cuts you off as he finishes applying the bandage wrap to your wrist.
“I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I should have known something was off, I should have paid more attention and been around to help instead of being out. I’m sorry.”
He presses kisses to your bandaged wrist, just wishing that he could have the magical healing power that Recovery Girl’s kisses had. He wished he could kiss all your pain away and face it all himself in your stead. 
“No, no, this is all on me. You’re always there for me, telling me how much you love me and trying your best to encourage me and lift me up, but I always hold back,” you confess, snatching your arms away from him in guilt, “You’re so busy as it is saving everyone. I don’t want to add to your burdens with my own problems as well. I thought I could deal with it all alone, but I failed. I turned back to my blade because it was too much to bear on my own.”
He sighs, and this time brings you into his arms in an embrace, “That’s because we’re not meant to go through these things alone, babe. Even as a hero I don’t do things on my own either. I have a whole agency backing me up along with my other fellow heroes. No one can accomplish anything on their own without hurting themselves. So please let me be there for you to help you as much as you’ve helped me.”
Silent sobs escape your lips as he continues to hold you and speak.
“All those days when you held me after I failed to save someone. All those nights you patched me up after a mission and I stubbornly refused to go to a hospital; let me be there for you for all your tough times as well. Let me be the one to gather you up again and listen to all your worries, don’t fight your battles alone anymore. I promise you’re not a bother to me at all. I want to be there for you. It’s my job,” he reassures you. 
“All right,” you sniffle, finally wrapping your own arms around him, accepting his comfort.
He calls the agency afterwards, letting them know that he can’t come in for the rest of the day and instead spends his time with you. Listening intently to everything that’s been bubbling up in your heart, right by your side, wiping your tears away and giving you his unconditional support and love. He’s definitely making sure you don’t deal with things on your own anymore :)
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REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D
Posted 3/5/2023
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mandomaterial · 1 year
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Forgotten pt.5
Pairing: Tonowari x Metkayina!Reader
Wordcount: 3.4k
Warnings: none actually, maybe a little angst, crying, Jake and ‘wari are bros, siblings being nice to each other, little fluff
Notes: sorry this took so long- but i hope you you like it. Im going post anther vote about what’s going to happen cus i cant decide for myself :P it’s pretty important to the plot so please check it out once i post it. Pic not mine, credit to the owner!
Masterlist /// Previous /// Next
Tonowari stood at the edge of the beach, staring out at the endless expanse of water that stretched out before him. It had been a week since his mate had been taken by the enemy, but the pain in his heart had not lessened.
He missed you so much, and the thought of never seeing her again was almost too much to bear. He had retreated to the beach, hoping that the sound of the waves crashing against the shore would soothe his troubled soul.
As he stood there, lost in his thoughts, for who knows how long until he felt a presence approach him. Thinking it was one of the hunters, he shook off his thoughts and prepared to speak to his clan member. But to his surprise, it was Jake.
Tonowari stayed silent as he watched the warrior come closer to him, coming to a stop next to him. “Mind if I join you?” he asked the Olo’eyktan, who made a little hand movement, signaling that it was alright. Over the last few months, Tonowari and Jake grew closer, even becoming friends, they had a few things in common; being a clan leader and the burden of it, experience in battle; and most of all, a family that they’d protect with their life.
Jake sat down, and patted the ground, silently asking Tonowari to take a seat as well. He obliged, taking in the view of the ocean. "Beautiful, isn't it?" Jake said, trying to break the heavy silence that hung between them. Tonowari nodded but didn't say anything. He was lost in his thoughts, consumed by the pain of his loss. Speaking felt all too difficult for him on some days, as if his mouth was filled with endless sand, scratching his tongue and trickling done his throat.
Jake knew better than to push him to talk, so he simply sat there in silence, his presence a comforting reminder that he was not alone. Tonowari wanted to talk, he didn’t know about what, but he wanted to talk. The only problem was that he didn’t want to speak; he didn’t want to utter a single word, for that is how he handled his grief. So he settled on the next best thing, signing.
« I miss her » he signed, hoping that Jake caught on.
“Huh- Oh…”
« I miss her so terribly much. She is my everything and she was taken from me » he continued «It was my purpose to protect her; to make her happy. I failed. I failed her, Jake… »
Jake sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know, tsmukan. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now. I know it hurts; I feel your suffering.”
« I don’t know how to go on without her » he signed, feeling utterly depressed, tears gathering in his eyes, threatening to spill.
“You have to go on. I know it’s hard; I hit rock bottom once too. But once you do, the only way is up.” he retaliated, tightening his grip on his friend’s shoulder “You have to be strong for your people; for your children. They need you, now more than ever! Be there for them. Be their rock.”
Hearing this brought a sense of responsibility over Tonowari. Jake was right, he needs to be strong for his people and his family. Tonowari looked out at the ocean again, his mind racing with thoughts and memories. He knew that it would be difficult but he would manage, he was the leader after all; everyone believed in him and he couldn’t let them lose that trust. He would do his best to bring his people happiness, just like you did. He would be like you. Now that he thought about it, it was all the small things you did that spread joy throughout the village. You did so many good things and everyone enjoyed them; your parties, the dances you learned with the performers, your singing -oh how he missed your singing… your gentle voice- the list goes on and on. Tonowari would do everything you did, to the best of his abilities.
After a few more moments the two men got back on their feet, looking at each other. Tonowari signed «Thank you, brother» before reaching his arm out for their handshake. Jake cracked a smile and joined in. Not long after the two parted ways, Jake was on his way back to the village and Tonowari still walking along the beach.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
Tonowari walked along the beach, the sun beating down on his back. He decided to go visit your favorite spot, a small cove filled with shells and small wildlife. Approaching the cove, he saw his son, Ao'nung, sitting alone in the sand, staring out at the ocean. Why was he here? Why wasn’t he with his friends?
“Ao'nung” Tonowari said, his voice soft. Ao'nung turned to him, eyes red-rimmed with tears. Seeing his usually happy and mischievous son like this made Tonowari’s heart crack a little as he sat down next to him, sighing. "What are you doing out here all alone?" he asked.
Ao'nung just shrugged, trying to avoid talking about his feelings. “Why aren’t you out having fun with your friends? A young boy shouldn’t be sitting all alone in an isolated cove all day. How did you find this place anyway…” his father tried again.
“Mom showed me… she said it was her favorite.” He uttered with a cracking voice. “That is true; this is your mother's favorite place. I spent a lot of time here with her. And… we took you here just after you were born. We were so happy” Tonowari smiled at the memories as he told his son about the little cove. Ao'nung liked listening to stories about you, so he asked “Did anything else happen here?”
Tonowari shuffled a bit closer, wrapping an arm around his son. “I asked her to be my mate here.” As he said this he felt Ao'nung’s ears and eyes twitch in curiosity “It was a beautiful day and I had planned it out for weeks. Your mother was actually quite oblivious to all my advances, so I had to sit her down and tell her very clearly that I wished to court her.” Tonowari chuckled “I led her here at noon so that no one would bother us. She thought we were going out for a picnic, which we actually did, but I wanted to give her a proper courting gift as well. I gifted her a beautiful necklace that I spent a week making myself. Do you know the one that she wears on special occasions? The one with the many shells and pearls?” His son nodded “That’s the one I gave her when she accepted. I was so happy that she wanted to be with me. It was one of the best days of my life” He grinned as he looked down at his son.
“I miss her, Dad. I miss her so much.” He said, his voice full of despair.
“I know, I miss her too…” Tonowari replied, patting his son's shoulder. “But we need to be happy. She wouldn’t want us to be sad right? Mama wants us to be happy… even if she isn’t here with us…” he tried to comfort his son.
A tear rolled down Ao'nung’s cheek “I don’t want to be happy… not when she’s not here. I feel guilty…”
“Ma’itan, listen. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know that we will see her again. And until then, we have to live, we have to keep her within our hearts, and we have to live for her. She might be scared and unhappy, but if we live, welcoming every emotion, she will feel it; she will feel us. Through our great mother, Eywa. Do you understand?” He held eye contact with his son “We need to be strong. I need to be strong, but I can’t do it alone. So I need you and your sister to be strong. If we are, then Eywa will lead her back to us.”
Ao'nung felt a lot better after his father's little pep talk, he swore that he would try and live, he would try to be happy; for you. Together they sat at the shore, not talking, just enjoying the sea until it started getting darker. Tonowari spoke up “Come, we must head back, or else they will start sending out troops to find us.” He joked a little. Ao'nung cracked a smile and walked close next to his father, still feeling a little down. Of course, Tonowari noticed this and put his hand on Ao'nung’s shoulder “Don’t worry, everything will be alright” he comforted the boy as they walked.
After hearing that little pep talk
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
Back at the village, they parted ways; Ao'nung joined his friends, that were hanging out with the Sully kids by a rock pool and Tonowari tended to his people.
The group saw Ao’nung coming and waved him over., geeking over Lo’ak. He sat down next to Tsireya and listened in to the conversation. They were talking about when the Tulkuk would return, but he didn’t care. His mind was swarmed with memories and thoughts about you. Were you okay? Were you going to come back? How long would it be till he would see you again? It was as if a light went on- the spirit tree. He could try to see you there.
Ao'nung pondered whether or not he should tell his sister when the group suddenly started getting up. Pushing his thoughts to the side, he stood up as well and looked at his sister in confusion. She got the memo and whispered to him “They have to go to a family meeting” “Ah- okay” he replied. The sullys left and Tsireya was about to accompany Lo’ak when Ao'nung called out to her “Hey wait- I need to talk to you. Alone.” he added, to make sure that the sully boy would leave.
His sister waved off the guy and then turned to him. “What's going on?” Ao'nung shuffled around and mumbled, “I’m going to the spirit tree, you wanna come with'?” He hoped that he would say yes; he didn’t want to go all alone.
Tsireya let out a little gasp “But it’s already eclipse… you know that we aren’t allowed to leave the reef this late…” Ao'nung rolled his eyes “Of course I know! But I have to go… I need to see Mom… you do too, right?”
Tsireya was unsure, she wanted to see you but she also do want to get in trouble with her already tense Father. The need to feel you again was greater than the one to not get in trouble. “Okay… but we can’t be seen!” She warned as Ao'nung started smirking.
They waited until most of the people retreated to their pods for the evening, then sneaking to the shore while calling for Ilus. Two instantly appeared and they looked around one last time before making the bond and diving under.
They traveled swiftly under the dense water, only seldomly coming up to the surface for air, having done this all their life. The Ilu passed the reef barrier unnoticed and soon they were out in the open sea, on their way to the cove of the ancestors.
Having been there many times, they didn’t even need to think about the way, they knew it by heart. Although they never imagined coming here together this late for a reason they could never have expected. A truly sad reason. As they closed the distance between them and the sacred place, Tsireya felt her eyes start to sting, quelling with tears, even under the water she felt the tears rolling off her cheeks, letting out little sniffles when she raised her head out of the water.
Ao'nung heard her little sounds of distress and slowed down, swimming closer to her. He gave her a look that asked if she was okay. That only made her shake her head and leg out little sobs. Her brother felt his heart sink, he hated seeing his sister like this, so unhappy. He gently pulled her and rested his head on hers, rubbing her back with his hand. “Hey… it’s okay… we can go back if you want?” “no…no, I wanna go… we came all this w-way…” she whimpered.
“Alright… it’s not much further” Ao'nung reassured her whilst slowly letting go of her. She rubbed the last of her tears away and followed her older brother's lead to the cove. The waves were calm and little whitecaps tickled her legs as the cove came into view.
Everything was silent except for the gentle sound of waves crashing against rock. The peaceful and familiar atmosphere calmed the teenagers down as they entered the sacred grounds. Ao'nung looked back to his sister, waiting for her to catch up.
Once together, they broke tsaheylu and swam closer to the tree. Tsireya gripped her brother's hand and he gave it a little squeeze in return. Taking a deep breath they dove under the water's surface, swimming closer calmly. Suddenly a sense of nervousness washed over them, not feeling ready to face you. But together they pushed forward, holding each other's hand until they were just in es apart from a bright leaf of the tree.
Reaching back, they both took a hold of their queue and brought it in front of them, close to their heart. With one last look at each other, they bonded with the tree. For a few moments they felt nothing, but as soon as they opened their eyes again they were met with sunshine. It was a strange feeling, to see the sun when they knew that it was dark. As they looked around more, they noticed that they were on the beach of the reef, somewhere where they spend most of their time.
It looked like the beach was empty, except for a slender figure, crouched down collecting shells. Instantly they recognized the figure, it was you. With unsteady steps Ao'nung started walking towards you, pulling his sister along with him.
There was barely any distance left between you when he spoke up “Mom?” with a shaky voice. Recognizing the voice you turned around looking up at them before standing up yourself, storing the little shoes in a pouch that was strapped to your hip.
You saw that sadness struck their faces and yours scrunched up in confusion “Is everything alright? Did something happen?” you asked with a concerned voice.
Tsireya looked down, not being able to answer so Ao'nung replied “N-no… everything’s okay,” with a shaky voice “we just m-missed you”, he couldn’t stop his hands from shaking while he held eye contact.
You cooed and pulled them close, each under one of your arms, and hugged them tightly. “Don’t worry parultsyìp, I’m right here. I’ll always be.” Hearing that made both of your children break down, being unable to hold back sobs of sorrow and pain, holding tightly onto you. This worried you even more. What had happened? Why were they so upset?
You gently guided them down onto the sand so that they could calm down, but they continued to cry. You didn’t know what to say, you’d never seen them like this before, so you just stayed silent; comforting them with gentle pats and little shushes.
This went on for a while, but you just let them cry it out; let them spill all their pushed-down emotions. You started stroking your fingers through their thick locks of hair and smiled, they’d inherited that from their father.
Their cries muted to sniffles and your hands tilted their chins up so you could see their faces. Eyes bloodshot and nose stuffy, they looked just as precious as always, you thought while gently caressing their small faces, even if they weren’t that small anymore.
“I missed you, mama…” you heard Tsireya whisper, not knowing what she meant because you’d been with them in the morning. “I missed you too 'itetsyìp” you have her a little kiss on top of her head. You noticed your son shuffle a little and out of maternal instinct, you knew that he wanted affection as well. “I missed you too ma'itan” you smiled and gave him the same little kiss on the head.
They both snuggled closer, never letting you go. You knew that they didn’t want to talk about whatever happened so you just let them be, spending some quality time with them. The three of you stayed silent, enjoying each other’s presence as you watched the ocean.
But soon Ao'nung felt his throat constrict, he knew that they needed to return to the surface for air, so he grabbed his sister's hand and squeezed it. She seemed to get the same feeling as him and simultaneously their eyes shifted to you. You returned a curious look and offered a smile. “Do you need to go? Are you supposed to be somewhere else?” You questioned with a joking tone in your voice.
Their eyes only turned sad; they had to leave you. Leaning close to you they hugged you tightly; not ever wanting to let go. They whispered “I love you” while pressing their faces into your chest; getting as close as possible one last time. You chuckled and returned “I love you two as well. You know that right? No need to be upset…” They didn’t respond, only trying to stay with you for a few more moments.
Ao'nung opened his eyes and you were gone; he was back underwater, in dire need of air. He looked over to his sister and saw that sadness has struck her face once again. He held onto her smaller hand and undid the bond. She did the same and they floated up together. Both of them took a deep breath once they reached the surface, air filling their lungs.
Just breathing for a few minutes, they stared up into the sky. The stars flickered brighter than ever it seemed, with no clouds hiding them. They decided to stick around a little bit and continue looking at the stars. Swimming over to the little rock shore took a few minutes but as they sat on the small smoothed down rocks, it was worth it; truly a beautiful sight.
Peace and quiet filled the air, calming the troubled young souls as they stared into the sky. “Ao'nung… thanks for taking me with you…” Tsireya whispered, turning her head to look at him. He looked back “Thanks for coming with me” he whispered while smiling.
Just as they were about to call out for Ilus Ao'nung spotted something traveling through the waves. He instantly grabbed his sister and pushed her down, accidentally making her swallow water. She was just about to jell at him when he shook his head and had a panicked look on his face; she stayed silent and searched for the thing he’d seen.
As the figure came closer it seemed to take the shape of a person riding a tsurak. Who else would come out here this late? The two of them stayed hidden and continued watching. The animal came to a stop just in front of the spirit tree and the figure dove under.
Not being able to see from the surface the two teenagers also stuck their heads underwater to try and find out who it was. The certainty didn’t expect to see their father on his way to the tree. Had he found out that the two of them snuck away? How did he find out that they were here?
But it seemed like he wasn’t looking for anything. We just raised his queue, making the bond with a leaf. The two siblings shot each other a confused look, wondering what he could be doing when Tsireya suddenly realized. «I think… I think he’s here to see Mom… just like us» she signed underwater. Ao'nung’s face scrunched in realization; of course, he was here to do that.
Another thing crossed his mind «We need to go back to the village,» he signed «before he does, or else we’ll be in a lot of trouble» Tsireya agreed and they quietly called for their ilus, hoping that their father wouldn’t realize. They got on and started to ride away when they looked back one more time. Even though they couldn’t see their father's face, they could tell that he was grieving, noticing how his body tensed up unnaturally and he clenched his fists. The two felt bad for him; they’d try to comfort him tomorrow.
With that, they sped off back to the village.
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landos-meat-rider · 3 months
Text
mastermind, part eleven
we’re so back,
last gcse on friday AND bridgerton AND euros???😟😟 getting spoiled stoppp😍😍
goodness gracious im so sick and tired of this exam rubbish gosh i cant wait to be done😫😫,
anyways if you’re reading this rn im eternally grateful to you bc the way i wouldve left if i was you…
no but seriously i love you guys so so much😕😕, this is a very short one (apologies) bc its the first time ive written since like last year (we’re ignoring that) and i really hope you enjoy the scraps ive put together while on no sleep for the past 72 hours. as a result (look at me using exam terminology in my day to day life😋) there may be some typos or like whole sections that arent meant to be there so very sorry for that, i think it should be fine though
anyways have a great day/night, pls pls pls lmk what you think of it and PLEASE send me requests for absolutely anything🙏🙏🙏
warnings: none i think!!
masterlist
theodore nott masterlist
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“Here,” Theo hands me a sandwich he had managed to make with the little supplies we had left, “You need to eat something.”
I absent-mindedly take the plate from him and take a bite as he sits besides me on the tattered sofa and grabs the radio on the table, fiddling around with it.
“They’ll be okay darling,” he reassures for the millionth time, switching between stations, “I promise.”
I look to him with glassy eyes and lean my head on his shoulder as he kisses the top of my head.
He finally finds the right channel and holds my hand as I continue to eat the sandwich. We listen out for any news of our families or Harry, Ron and Hermione.
Theo and I had been moving around, camping here and there for a few months now. Lord knows where the other three had gotten to. Looking for them would be foolish and most likely unfruitful under these circumstances. Theo had been comforting me and making sure I sustained myself this whole time, I don’t really know what I’d’ve done without him.
“Theo, can I ask you something out of the blue?” I asked him as he lifted a cup of tea to his lips, raising his eyebrows and humming, “Do you still love me?” I questioned in a way that wasn’t accusatory, but rather of wonder.
His eyes glassed over slightly as he put his cup away and looked to me with a confused- almost offended expression. “Why would you ask that?”
“I don’t know we just haven’t been this close and alone since.. The Yule Ball and I wasn’t sure where we stood.” I shrugged, trying to read his thoughts.
“Tesoro,” he started “I look for you in every crowd, I search for your eyes in the nature around me. I savour and stretch any moment we have together. I endlessly shame myself for leaving you  that day, but it was a necessary evil. I couldn’t let you get hurt. Not even a little bit. I lett you patch me up after fights even when I don’t like people helping me. I talk to you about my mother and father and I take delight in all your accomplishments. I love the way you talk to me, I love the way you are and I am eternally grateful that you’ve forgiven me somehow.”
I look at him with teary eyes and big smile on my face as he recisprocates and grabs my face in his warm hands smiling at me, “Doubt whether stars are fire; or the sun moves across the sky; or truth itself be a liar; but never doubt whether I love you.”
I kiss him softly.
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“Hey I wanted to ask you,” I began as the smooth chatter of the radio fades into the background and he looks at me with his blue eyes, “Do you think we should go back to Grimmauld place? I mean it’d be a lot safer than us being in the middle of fucking nowhere, we’d be able to see everyone else and we’re running out of supplies anyways.”
Just as Theo opened his mouth to respond, a letter flew into the tent in front of us as Theo and I instinctively grabbed our wands before seeing the parchment.
Theo gives me a confused look as I say, “Who’d know we were here?” and grabs the envelope.
He opens it cautiously as I keep my wand pointed at it, just in case, and starts to read the contents aloud.
“Dearest Y/n, it pains me to have to invite you to this bloodbath or anywhere near it but I am doing so with The Order’s direct command. We are all either stationed or arriving to Hogwarts for the upcoming battle, you and Theodore should get here as soon as possible, and please darling at least for my sake, try and keep out of danger. I cannot say much at this point but you must get here quickly. Come to your common room and when you arrive, I’ll be there. Yours, Sirius.”
Theo and I stand in silence for a few minutes, rereading the letter again and again until Theo backs away and starts preparing a bag big enough for one. I break out of my gaze and collect some of my things I need to bring and pass them to Theo to put in the bag but all he does is give me a look of confusion.
“What’s this for?”
“My things?”
Something crosses Theo’s face before he hides it with a blank look, he returns to his packing and clears his throat before saying, “No, you need to stay here.”
“What?” I say, astounded at his words, “What do you mean stay here?! I’m coming with you, Sirius told both of us to come.”
He abruptly stopped packing and sighed, giving me a look of desperation and exhaustion. “Listen to me,” he begged, stepping closer and taking my hands in his slightly shaky ones, “You need to stay here. You’ve already been though too much and if Bellatrix sees you I have no idea what she’ll do but I will not risk your safety. Not ever. So please darling, please listen to me for once and stay here.”
“Theo that’s so unreasonable, what if I’m in-”
“If you are in danger,” he breaks me off “Go to Grimmauld Place and send me a patronus immediately. If you come to Hogwarts with me, I’d be worrying about you the entire time anyways, and you’d be targeted along with Harry.”
“What if you get hurt?” I ask, shoving my thoughts aside for a moment, lowering my voice at the thought.
He pauses, staring at my eyes, his swimming in hesitancy, “Darling I’d rather it be me than you.”
“Theo-” he kisses me suddenly before I can protest, he runs his hands though my hair and the other on the small of my back. He kisses me for the first time, and he kisses me as though its our last. 
He breaks away and looks at me with teary eyes,
“Sei il mio cuore, la mia vita, il mio unico e solo pensiero.”
You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought.
He looks lovingly into my eyes as though trying to memorise every detail about me before rolling is eyes, sighing and blinking tears away as he smiles and looks to the ceiling before bringing me to his chest and saying, “I know you.”
I look up at him with confusion as he holds me in his arms, his hands on either side of my waist as he looks down at me, “I know you, and I know that you’re going to come to Hogwarts anyway. No matter what I say.”
He smiles at me sadly as I snicker in his chest amongst tears, “But I swear if you hurt yourself,” he warns, resting his chin on the top of my head.
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LOLL that was so shit im so sorry...
anyways im so happy i FINALLY got this out like omggg it had been a MINUTE...
pls lmk what you thought and pls send me requests on what else to do‼️‼️‼️
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captainimprobable · 3 months
Text
I've known i had a sleep disorder for like 13 years, but didn't get diagnosed with anything til last year, and until LITERALLY THIS WEEK even though it's been hard and even though I've cried over it multiple times, I've been able to be like "hehe haha i have sleepy bitch disease" but i just suddenly realized that i actually have a real, tangible disability. And I KNEW that, and I was never hung up on that word or anything, but I've been fine bc sure it's been impacting my life, but I've always managed to hold down jobs right??? And then I thought about it. I managed at Trader Joe's bc I was active all the time. So I thought "oh, okay, while i get this disorder under control, I can work retail". Except I realized that a) this disorder will never be under control, and b)i worked retail before the disorder got WORSE, like it has gotten the last couple years. because when I worked it before, sure i was tired, but because i was always moving I was fine. But NOW I also get these waves of extreme exhaustion that mean i need to take a nap RIGHT THEN, and if I don't, I get really sick. So. How am I supposed to work a retail job if there's a chance I'll be incapacitated for at least an hour in the middle of my shift? And when I worked the office job? That was remote. And looking back, I slept half the work day. (I always got my work done anyway, but NO it was not ok to sleep through the work day. I know.) So now here I am, almost 6 months unemployed, about to run out of unemployment money, JUST NOW realizing that it is not physically possible to work. And meanwhile, everyone around me just acts like either "oh haha isnt everyone tired" or like Im overdramatic and making it up. So I went on to a facebook group for people like me, and asked for advice. Every response was "Sorry, no, this never gets better! Also I haven't worked in years! Good luck! <3" And now I'm looking at the rest of my life and realizing im always going to be this way. Im always going to be living at half speed. I will never actually be able to live up to my full potential. How am I ever supposed to work? How do I make money? I've been so hopeful and blase about this whole thing for years and suddenly its not so chill anymore. I'm SO fucking SCARED and Im looking for literally any answer or any help and there is none. You can try medication, but it doesnt always work (and im doing that. and its not working.) Otherwise, ig you just...pray?????? I literally cannot feel this way forever. I cant. That is just not a life at all. What the FUCK am i supposed to do??? (And now Im freaking out bc when this all started i would fall asleep while driving. That hasnt happened since college but what if it changes? What if I cant drive anymore? So many people with these problems simply are not allowed to drive. What the fuck do I do oh my god)
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davekat-sucks · 4 months
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This is was supposed to be a simple ask but it ended up getting long because of there being too many question and discussions but barely any answers so sorry about that.
On the topic of WhatPumpkin sometimes we all have to wonder what the fuck is going on behind the scenes, the latest news we got werent that much and it felt more of a like "Hey guys we are still alive dont forget about us" situation and it doesnt help that we cant really get any info because of how the only guy that Im atleast aware that works on it and is online is James and although I have no source because it was months ago, when beyond canon came back I remember him getting asked about Hiveswap and i dont remember if he answered it on the blog or on a reddit qna but he had said he cant really do much about it because hes just the music guy on that department and not an director or writer and he probably cannot say whats going on if hes aware of even the minimum because of NDAs and you know the situation is weird when not even the new director for post canon can do nothing about it or doesnt know what the fuck is going on over there either (i believe its more of the former).
On the same topic Hussie jumping the ship in my opinion feels like such an awful move in a moral and community sense, he hires fucked up people and ends up going through development hell and instead of trying to fix it he just runs away and gives someone else the work. He becasically invited destruction to that place by not doing background checks and shit and now everyone else but him has to suffer for it. I wonder if WhatPumpkin will close business after they finish Hiveswap (if they even manage to finish it) or if their writting quality wont be bad if they try to do Hauntswitch now.
I also sometimes wonder if Hauntswitch was made first maybe things could have been better. Think about it:
It happens on the Human World and you play as a cool kid looking troll and that could open the doors for a lot of potential to explore more about the Earth on the Homestuck universe and its conspiracy theories and also give us more video game parody mechanics.
The whole conspiracy theory Jude had that iirc had even the USA presidents connect to may be right considering the easter egg that shows some sort of cultists standing outside the mansion we see on the background and watching the events unfold.
We would get more answers for whatever the fuck those creatures that attacked the manor where.
another good dog best friend to fill the bec shaped hole in our soul <:
Exploration of what SkaiaLabs exactly does.
Overall sounding like an awesome story itself, a alien coming to earth and fighting a cult related to the presidents with a human companion. Especially considering how Dammek sounds like hes an asshole and also because of how trolls are usually violent could lead to interesting interactions.
I might be wrong and biased though but I feel like that concept could attract more outsiders than Hiveswap could ever wish to do. And hopefully thats it and that I wont waste almost an hour of my life rambling about this stuff (for my own sake because i feel like i could have spent my time better but i also need to post this somewhere and i dont use social media most of the time and when i do its usually to see fanart, memes and overall discussion of my fav franchises) but I probably will in the future.
It's cool with this ask. You brought up many good points here.
Yes, the question about Hiveswap was asked in a Q&A back in October 30th, 2023 from James Roach here (Archive ver for backup). The news about development should be something more like how Toby does with the Deltarune newsletter. Monthly, maybe do a special event ARG thing that gives insight of what's coming up, or anything like that. Though even with that, it might be probably too little too late since we are at 11 years since the Kickstarter had funded. Probably doesn't help since 2 million dollars was wasted, it's a mystery how the game is still being worked on if the original Kickstarter money that was given to them, had been used up. What is WhatPumpkin's new source of income then? Do they have a second job they aren't telling us about? Are they using part of that Patreon money from Beyond Canon since technically there are some that work within Hiveswap too like James? Then there's the fact Hussie not only wasted the money, but basically left the Kickstarter project he started in the first place. He may own it and be credited as the creator, but he won't be involved in the future Acts and Hauntswitch. I'm surprised nobody is pissed at him for scamming them out of 2 million dollars. Do people not care if the original person who hosted it left? Especially with the truth come to light thanks to Gio's research on this. I wouldn't be surprised if WhatPumpkin does shut down because they couldn't gain the sales needed after releasing Hiveswap Act 3. People will probably wonder if even buying stuff from Topatoco would help or not with HS merch like the prints slowly resurfacing. Drawing in the crowds from old and new to play the game will be tough. I wouldn't be surprised if Hauntswitch was first made in mind before Hiveswap. Dammek even had a 3D model ready too.
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Likely back when it was still a 3D game, we would control briefly but then after the cutscene of them being transported to the other planet, we would then have to take control of Dammek, have him meet Jude to possibly have him find a way to help him back home, and the pair would adventure on Earth itself for the rest of the game to find out about the monsters and the cult. Dammek's paranoid nature would play off Jude's conspiracy theory pretty well as it has the two involved looking deep into the mystery. I wouldn't be surprised if something about the cult would eventually tie in to his home planet and the rebellion as a final grand twist. An idea like that sounds more interesting than some girl getting lost on an alien planet and was roped into some rebellion that she has no reason to be part of besides being concerned for a friend.
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orrrganicgoosegoose · 2 months
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Hi! i hope you are doing well♥️
love your blog!
im sorry if this seems repetitive, it probably is. but i really need some kind words rn.
so everyone says to just be and be bold and experience whatever you want its all here rn. and i try but whatever i want is so opposite to the current illusion im witnessing and im too tired to work *as a human* for anything esp since i know im not it!
im from a regressive society and not even allowed to step out of home, so my dreams of freedom and having a great job in a field i dont have a degree in.. thats something i cant seem to witness/experience?
if i spend time “just being” it makes me feel extreme guilt for not working/trying to get freedom..
and then i feel since im finding self to get rid of current pain/life it won’t work, because idk?
idk if im explaining it well enough.. but how do i just be and directly experience myself and end this whole ordeal?
Hi darling, I’m doing well thank you 🩷 how are you?
Firstly, I’m so sorry to hear that, my heart goes out to you. I understand that your seeming circumstances seem horrible but it’s really just a nightmare.
In order to see yourself, you don’t have to stop working or trying to get freedom, in the end you also are while working, right? So you can just be and seemingly do stuff at the same time because truly, you aren’t doing anything. You are always just being.
You also mentioned trying to experience something else, but experiencing doesn’t really have ”trying” in it. Did you try to send this ask or did you just do it? Your circumstances may seem solid, but they aren’t, they aren’t even there. Whether you are having a nightmare or the most beautiful dream ever, in the end it’s still just a dream. And you actually experienced everything you wanted to, however you are creating duality between ”imagination” and ”physical reality” which is why you only ended up seemingly experiencing some stuff only in the former. But there is no physical reality or imagination. It’s just you experiencing yourself in the form of a fleeting dream so convincing you mistook it for real.
Also, most of us ”went on this journey” because our dreams weren’t exactly comfortable either, that won’t stop you from seeing yourself unless you let it, no need to worry. You are god, or whatever you want to call it, only you can put limits on yourself.
I hope I managed to answer your questions, if not please let me know. And you got this, I know you do :) sending hugs 🫂
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My personal “screaming about the lack of Ladynoir in the finale” post TM
Don’t know how to preface this???
this isn’t hate for the finale,
this is more, me reveling in the Angst of what they Chose Not To Put and screaming and wailing about how ladynoir has me in a chokehold
Im coming to terms with the s5 finale and finding bits of hope for my Ladynoir heart, etc. And i have decided that the finale has a ton of very very cool potential.
But i still can’t stop imagining… what if Adrien had gotten the messages from Ladybug??? What if he was About to give up being Chat Noir and give in to hopelessness and nightmares and terror and the cage he was trapped in and THEN (probably via Plagg, they could make it work) he got the frantic terrified messages from ladybug that were like “hi where ARE you?!?!?! Kitty cat come in NOW i NEED YOU!!?!? Hawkmoth knows my identity i think i am going to die i am all alone please please please show up i need you pick up pick UP.”
What if he was like. “Oh.” And his world just. Shifted. He thought his worst fear was ending the world as chat or being trapped even further by transforming in front of his father and being Caught but now Neither of those matter… now the only fear is just… not being Enough for ladybug… the fear of losing her or letting her down or making her feel as alone and abandoned and hopeless as he does right now????
What if he just????? Transformed without a moment of hesitation??? What if he was there taking to her on the phone coaching her through breathing and telling her he promised she would be okay and he promised he would be proud of her no matter what happened???? What if his own nightmares and fears started slipping through on the call and SHE turned around and reassured HIM that she trusts him fully and if he can’t trust himself he can at least trust HER judgement????? What if they both managed to avoid the mind control by being Each Others’ alliance?????
What if Ladybug found out that Chat Noir was in London ,,, because if Her identity’s been revealed to Monarch and she’s In His House than it’s Already going to hell and secrets don’t matter anymore, it just matters that they trust each other??? All they ever WANTED was to be open and trust and now its all they have left??? And theres not identity reveal or speculation bc it doesnt MATTER right now it just matters to SURVIVE or at LEAST be together for the end.
What if she told him not to come to Paris because it’s too dangerous to be in the same spot and he was like “im so sorry but i Cannot do that i cant leave you there Alone” and she was like “i know. and i love you. And id do the same. And that’s also why i cant tell you who monarch is or where the house is because i KNOW you’ll come here and i cant stop you. We cant both be in his grasp i just need you on the phone”
What if she fought in the basement for her life while getting support from him whilst he rallied all the other heroes and the resistance across the surface of paris???? What if we had ladybug and chat noir fighting the same battle on two different fronts, both Very Aware of each others’ situation nonstop,,, working as a Team despite the distance????? What if chat was just nonstop doing everything he could to reassure ladybug that they were doing okay and everyone supported her and he Trusted Her to do anything because the nightmares were STILL debilitating for everyone including them and they couldnt afford for either of them to get akumatized or even DISTRACTED and they just told puns and reminded each other when to use their powers and when to breathe?????
And chat could be captured or whatever and have to call out to ladybug and she could be like “send me your kwami its okay you did so good, i’ll be okay ill see you again”
Bug noire could still happen but it would be a strategic choice BOTH of them made TOGETHER with pain and love mixed together rather than the result of major decisions that they both were forced to make Independantly with no communication only fear and guilt and lonliness???
I dont know how to explain this but this is not salt this is not hate towards the episode this is just,,,, UGH this show has made me SO INVESTED in the dynamics and they had a CHANCE to do stuff and make it so fun and they DIDNT ,,,, they CHOSE to make it darker and grittier this time and i think it’s probably going in a cool direction,,, i think that ladybug and chat noir are gonna have some Fun (for me not for them) things to Discuss after this and some brand new abandonment issues combined with weird bits of Hope that Apparently they can survive on their own, all in a messy weird blurry pool of fears and relief and guilt and lonliness!!!!! And there’s so much to explore
But ALSO i miss my ladynoir goddammit i miss when it was the ladybug and chat noir show and i feel a little bit hollow seeing how ALONE!!! BOTH OF THEM were!!! this entire finale!!!!!!!!! Why are they ALONE those are my LADYNOIR they are PARTNERS do not SEPARATE THEM!!!! Stop doing PLOTS and HARD DECISIONS and IN CHARACTER MISTAKES to them and PLEASE just let them be perfect and together anyways aaaaaaaaa
(Bonus u can read the absolute essay i accidentally put in my tags for more scrambled thoughts)
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mute-call · 8 months
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ok as per usual im gonna dump all my ideas here & figure them out later <3
v; your bell telephone factory : dsaf-fluid factory phone au.
things i Want / need to keep in mind bc i want to use them / also make this unique from his other verses:
he's not the only pg!! i'll go refresh myself on the generations but i think i want him uhhhh peter-esque.......? bro idk i need my dsaf friends to remind me of stuff. basically i want him to have access to his pre-phone memories but not Immediate Complete access
im sorry i refuse to name any pg of mine scott cawthon all my besties hate scott cawthon <3 . but the pg name can be scott gyver in honor of one of my fave canon phone guy designs
blue head. i cant wait to confuse people by using my animatronic icons for non-animatronic verse >:)c
steven should have worked with other pgs in the past when he was human. i think he would have been lowkey scared of them but also never really got in trouble w them. uneasy alliance /lh. steven voice hey my life might suck but at least i dont have a phone for a head! haha. ha. ha
alright down to the details!
i’m thinking he discovers one of the kids’ bodies in the suits if I want to differentiate, or i can steal from dsaf & let him catch William (Henry?) in the act. I think either would work well for him tbh.
additional / alternate idea.... he gets caught during fnaf 2 shit. not a manager at that point (some other pg is). catches william using the suit & gets Done For. previous pg gets scrapped after all that shit goes down & steve comes to look over fnaf 1. it like. goes ok for a while & then the location goes into decline but doesnt technically close so he is just Standing There. <3 . he takes over night shift bc he just fucken lives there basically. has some line about how he's less likely to get his head bit in now that it's plastic so this is the best option for everyone.
im so indecisive about how & when he should die pre-phone. idk man idk. i think this is one of those things i need to develop better in threads / might be flexible & set at diff points thread to thread
pre-phone steve....
drawing from my hcs about him when he was younger, i think pre-phone phoney was SO bright & cheerful & nicies...
really good with the kids. excited about his first real job to support his family. not yet beaten down by fnaf-slash-dsaf shenanigans
i guess he'd die younger than 30 in this unless he gets phone-ified after his canon death point but that doesnt make much sense. so. itty bitty phone. youngun.
post-phone scott....
i am SO into the idea that he's never fired anyone. pushover of a phone!!!
he & peter can share their fake little photo of a completely different phone guy w a completely different family /lh. pg's so excited to have kids :) . he talks about them all the time! please stop telling him they dont exist!!!
partially to differentiate from animatronic verses & partially to bring in his fnaf 1 characterization i think he's pretty chill as far as pgs go. like he'll ask you to stop screwing stuff up but he'll also just shrug and leave if you tell him to shut up about it T_T . very difficult to rile up.
i think one benefit of phoneification for him was removing his guilt about jeremy where applicable. i think i am leaning more towards steve being human for that game, and the bite of '87 stuff being a real turning point for him in terms of . everything. (but blue, wouldnt it make more sense for him to die BEFORE the bite? yes. <3 and yet /lh).
i think he & jeremy would have been closer if he hadn't been manager + everything that happened there fucked him up severely. luckily, as a phone, he doesnt feel much about it at all!
is there anything im missing..... idk more to come. etc.
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enlighten3d · 24 days
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i know i said id write this post four hours ago but i had to do the merge dragons event. anyway.
WINGS ! how the fuck would they be treated on smps where theres pvp? (this is an au where Everyone has wings. and talons but well get into that Later. this is about the wings sdhkjgl)
(context post btw: here)
they are very much a weak point in combat, id saying. if you fuck someones wings up, they are done for. cant fly away, permanent damage. and theres not many ways to defend them (beyond putting armour on the flesh and bone part of the wing - which would do a lot more than it sounds like!). so i do think that it would be social taboo to go for someones wings in battle.
but even if it is social taboo.. accidents happen, and it works differently on different servers, right? and thats what this post is about ! focusing on smps where theres actual Combat (sorry hermitcrafters and kww collab fans)
first off, my beloved.. the dream smp. honestly! i think people would NOT go for the wings. there may be wars and actually genuinely fucked up stuff, but going for the wings in a fight is taking it too far. accidents have DEFINITELY happened tho, what with the sheer amount of withers and explosions. like phils wings being fucked up! yes i know thats a canon thing but im using it to prove my point here. the EXCEPTION to this 'people not intentionally going for the wings' thing is, well. c!dream. the fucker would INSTANTLY go for the wings whenever he has an opportunity. its a weak point, of course he'd abuse the fuck out of it, like. its impossible to expect anything otherwise.
lifesteal!! this ones fun to me because i think theyd have Concrete Rules on this. like they already do! from off the top of my head, i remember that netherite armour is banned, for example. i think going for the wings would just be... another thing thats banned. and no matter how deep into the Lore that people get, those rules are GEEENERALLYYYYY followed. the wings one for sure is. it may be the dEaDlIeSt SeRvEr, but theyre all there willingly. getting their wings fucked up is not something ANYONE wants. i dont know enough about lifesteal to pinpoint specific times that Accidents wouldve happened but! whatever. this is one rule that they always follow i think. (please dont kill me for this one if you disagree, i havent watched enough lifesteal)
now the life series... naturally, going for the wings is banned. ..but only nominally, really. all bets are off when youre on red, right? i really dont think there could be anything to stop people on red from going for peoples wings in fights. i mean, depending on your interpretation of the life series (as in, does being on red actually make someone Bloodthirsty like most common fanon, or is it just a Thing that lets someone attack others?), this can change, but i like the first one, so with that in mind... yeah nothing would stop people on red from going for the wings. this only gets MORE INTERESTING if you believe life series and hermitcraft to be connected in some way... with the inevitable wing injuries that would come from the life series, if they just... go back to hermitcraft and other servers afrterwards... if those injuries are permanent (which i do believe they are), then... oh that would be Something hehe. keeping this in my back pocket a fic idea, yall are free to yoink it.
and last but not least, bcs i dont actually watch that many smps (esp not with fighting) or whatever... unstable universe. pretty much what i said for lifesteal! like! i dont see any reason why itd be any different. yes unstableverse doesnt have Rules like lifesteal, but... theyre mostly the same people. if they can follow that Rule in lifesteal, combined with the social taboo thing, i think that they wouldnt really go for the wings. thats just a line you dont cross. (..also wemmbu did canonically yoink Most of the elytras on the whole server at one point, and in this context i think it would be funny if he just somehow managed to disable flight for a while, but thats a whole other thing unrelated to wings in combat lmao)
ANYWAY YEAH THATS THAT. I HAVE SOOOO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT HOW WINGS IN COMBAT WOULD ACTUALLY WORK. might write a post about that.
this is all headcanons !! im making shit up, as always !! o7
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hontou-baka · 2 months
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relationship ranting idk
blurgh i hate when im slapped with similarities between my ex and my current bf
I got married without a wedding, or rings, or anything traditional, to my ex so I could use my own tax info for school (plus it seemed like a safe risk in a seven year long relationship lmao). The semantics of it were clearly unimportant to my ex (i had to buy us both rings, and again, no wedding) and i felt embarrassed bc those things are important to me, so we never told anyone about getting married really.
Now that I'm close to getting the divorce done before baby comes, my bf is talking marriage. But in the same "just for the legal benefits" way. And i do want to get married... And i know it would help his taxes and whatnot... But my heart breaks thinking about doing the exact same dumb thing again, and idk i can make myself do it. Like... Sorry, prove im important enough to you to spend a couple hundred on a cute ring, get some photos of us taken together, hell even if he saved money for a nice elopement trip thats fine! I feel like aggretsuko with the donkey guy... Tadase? Idk i dont remember. Im sorry im kind of basic but as a cisgendered white woman that was raised mormon, ive dreamed about a beautiful wedding and feeling loved and celebrated since childhood... I think i should stand my ground on this :/
Another thing. Both have sleep issues and expect me to get up with them in the morning to help them get ready so they can sleep in as much as possible. And im made to feel bad about it if i complain because i dont have sleep issues. Im sorry you havent bothered your whole adult life to find a way to manage with your sleep problems, and im happy to make you food while you shower here and there, but that should not just be expected of me! And its not reciprocated! Its not like i make him get up with me, i would just leave him be and let him sleep because... I love him? Want him to be comfy? Ugh.
While im venting, ADHD IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO NOT DO CHORES REGULARLY!!!!! I DONT CARE!!!!! IF HIM AND I DONT WORK OUT IM GONNA HAVE ADHD BE A RED FLAG I SWEAR TO GOD BC EVERYONE I KNOW W IT REFUSES TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO LIVE WITH IT!!!! Im getting beyond furious that he has to be asked FOR EVERY. LITTLE. THING. You eat and use dishes. You put your dishes with the other dirty dishes. Thus. YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE PILE OF DIRTY DISHES... MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. YOU CANNOT USE THE "OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND" EXCUSE IN OUR TINY ROOM!!!! YOU CAN *SEE* THE FULL LAUNDRY BASKET THREE FEET AWAY FROM YOU!!!! YOU CAN SEE THE GOD DAMN CHORE CHART TWO FEET AWAY FROM YOU I MADE SO YOU COULDNT USE THE "BUT IDK WHAT TO DOOO OR HOW TO HEEELP" EXCUSE!!!!! YOU CAN SMELL WHEN THE CAT TAKES A HUMAN SIZED SHIT AND KNOW YOU NEED TO SCOOP TOMORROW!!!!!! YOU!!!! JUST!!!!! DONT!!!!!!! *WANT TO*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And the funniest fucking thing is i TRULY wouldnt mind having a more "traditional" setup, id be fine doing 90% of the chores if he even worked 20 hours/wk consistently. But im thinking as soon as i feel recovered from birth i want to find a job myself because he just lets his anxiety win too much and cant hold a job, and i have actual goals in life lmao 🤪🤪🤪 but if i made him a stay at home parent im sure id be coming home to a world of frustration (things that need done never being done). Im just at the end of my rope bc with chronic mental and physical health issues, i get he cant do what most people can (same goes for me, not as severe on the physical side tho) but god it so often feels like weaponized incompetence. And i think it partially is. Ive talked to him about this over and over and it always ends with "just tell me or ask... Even though you shouldn't have to..." BUT THATS THE POINT!!!! IM NOT GONNA BEG YOU TO HELP ME KEEP OUR LIVING QUARTERS NOT MISERABLE, MAN!!!!! USE YOUR EYES AND YOUR HEAD!!!!
I joked about banning war thunder for a week post birth and he seemed shocked id even think about asking him to not game for a week (his only hobby/leisure activity). Idk.
ok that feels better i guess ill get back to my mashed potatoes
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pesterloglog · 7 months
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Gamzee Makara, John Egbert, Roxy Lalonde, Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Jake English, Jade Harley
Candy, page 15
GAMZEE: OoOpS mOtHeRfUcKeRs.
JOHN: oops???
ROXY: its fine gamz
ROXY: accidents happen
ROXY: um
ROXY: hey thx everyone for joining me today
ROXY: wow now that im up here its like
ROXY: idk
ROXY: i have no idea what to say
ROXY: and i guess thats cuz there IS nothing to say
ROXY: theres no words to describe how i felt about dirk strider
ROXY: and even tho he left a note that had hella words in it
ROXY: they might as well have been sayin nothing
ROXY: which is just like dirk i guess
ROXY: to leave us with a load of bullshit and no idea why he did what he did
ROXY: so im just gonna say that
ROXY: im glad that he was in my life
ROXY: and give it over to someone whos way more eloquent than me
DAVE: hey guys
DAVE: wanna apologize in advance cuz this is about to get a lil real
DAVE: realer than that three quarters of a corpse im standing about two feet from right now
DAVE: i mean i totally hate to ruin everyones mood on a day where weve gathered to think deep thoughts about how one of us just went and fucking offed themselves
DAVE: not like were gonna be stumbling through our lives constantly experiencing intrusive thoughts about this specific event or anything
DAVE: hey remember what our good pal dirk looked like with no head
DAVE: p hard to forget since getting decapitated was like his third favorite hobby
DAVE: so its not so much the body thats the problem but the sorta
DAVE: existential realization of finality i guess
DAVE: though i aint gonna lie the bodys starting to stink
DAVE: sorry all that shit i just said was a load of absolute bull meant to deflect from the fact that im pretty shook about this
DAVE: i used to do that a lot
DAVE: like basically every time i opened my mouth
DAVE: most of you know this but i had a kinda shitty childhood
DAVE: not gonna go into details but
DAVE: long story short it was technically my good ol bro-dad heres fault
DAVE: not this specific version of him
DAVE: the one i grew up with was a
DAVE: a
DAVE: he was
DAVE: he was just an absolute bastard no offense to the dead
DAVE: yeah ok sure he taught me a ton of shit that if were being generous was in theory useful
DAVE: but he didnt give a single solitary shit about raising a well adjusted kid
DAVE: or
DAVE: raising a kid in general
DAVE: i was more like his disciple
DAVE: and all that mattered was his grand design or wtf ever
DAVE: and i know dirk struggled with
DAVE: you know
DAVE: the idea that he could eventually become that kind of person
DAVE: or even worse that he was somehow cosmically fated to become that person no matter what he wanted or did to prevent it
DAVE: thats prolly how he managed to off himself in the first place considering how the mechanics of god tier works
DAVE: maybe hed been struggling with that the whole time weve been here on earth c
DAVE: who knows with him
DAVE: he was always so inside his own head i cant even imagine what insane train of thought led him to decide that this was his only option
DAVE: but i dont think hed want us beating ourselves up about it
DAVE: or torturing ourselves trying to figure out what it fucking meant
DAVE: esp jake jane and roxy
DAVE: he loved you guys and wouldnt do anything to hurt you
DAVE: well not intentionally i mean
DAVE: anyway all that shit about my bro
DAVE: im over that
DAVE: like as much as you can get over it
DAVE: theres a subconscious response to certain stimuli you cant exactly rewire
DAVE: but the conscious part of my brain is all like
DAVE: shit dude
DAVE: i feel great
DAVE: wtf is hypervigilance??
DAVE: i love being alive and having all these friends who care about me and dont beat the shit out of me every day of my life
DAVE: etc
DAVE: and part of thats cause i got to be friends with dirk
DAVE: it was great getting to know this rad version of my childhood guardian who wasnt completely batshit insane
DAVE: and like just chill with him
DAVE: shoot the shit and freestyle or debate dumb crap without it being a federal fucking issue
DAVE: and more than that he treated me like i was on the level with him
DAVE: he let me give him shit for being a pretentious blowhard every day of his life
DAVE: which i did
DAVE: but despite that i
DAVE: i looked up to him
DAVE: the way i always felt like i should have been looking up to my bro
DAVE: the way i WANTED to look up to my bro but couldnt
DAVE: dirk taught me so much shit i didnt know i needed from him
DAVE: i mean picking up dirks opinions was unavoidable if you ever hung out with him considering he never shut his fucking mouth
DAVE: but im glad he didnt
DAVE: he taught me about combat
DAVE: philosophy
DAVE: life
DAVE: and im sure had he not killed himself the literal day i was finally gonna ask him romantic advice
DAVE: he wouldve taught me about love too
DAVE: so in the end
DAVE: i really got no idea how the fuck im supposed to feel right now
DAVE: but thats probably ok right
DAVE: like its ok
DAVE: to not know how to feel when someone dies
DAVE: its ok to not have all the answers
DAVE: i wish dirk were still alive so i could tell him that
DAVE: but hes not
DAVE: so
DAVE: i guess thats all i got to say about that
ROXY: anyone else have a eulogy theyd like to give
ROXY: i think the best way we can honor dirks memory at this point
ROXY: is to spew an untold number of words into the void
ROXY: as many as we fuckin can
GAMZEE: WhAt’S uP oN tHiS mOsT rIgHtEoUs AnD fRoWnY Of DaYs My BiTcHeS. :’o(
KARKAT: OH MY GOD
KARKAT: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY, GAMZEE.
GAMZEE: HaHaHaHa YoU sTiLl GoT iT bRoThEr.
GAMZEE: mY mOtHeRfUcKeR oF cOmEdY’s In ThA pRaYbLoCk! ThAt MiRtHfUl NoIsE yOu HoLlEr StIlL sLaPs My MaNg.
KARKAT: IT’S NOT A FUCKING JOKE.
GAMZEE: NiNjAs AnD gEnTlEhOeS!
GAMZEE: We GaThEr Up At ThIs ShRiNe Of WoRsHiP tO wHaTeVeR fAlSe IdOlS oR mEsSiAhS tHeSe HoMiEs GeT tHeIr DeVoTiOn On FoR.
GAMZEE: BuT tHaT’s Ok, BeCaUsE wE’rE mOtHeRfUcKiN uNiFiEd ToDaY, nO mAtTeR wHaT oUr BaD aNd DiFfErEnT bElIeFs SaY aT uS tO oUr PiEtY pAnS.
GAMZEE: We CoMe In CeLeBrAtIoN oF tHe LiFe! :o)
GAMZEE: aNd DeAtH. :o(
GAMZEE: Of ThE oNe AnD oNlY, a TrUlY cHoIcE pIeCe Of MaN-bItCh WhAt WhOm I hArDlY eVeR kNeW:
GAMZEE: tHe DiRkStEr.
KARKAT: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
GAMZEE: ThEn, YoU mIgHt Be Up AnD wOnDeRiNg, WhAt PlAcE hAvE i GoT aLl OrAtInG oN tHe SuBjEcT oF tHe LeGeNd Of ThIs FiNe FeLlOw?
GAMZEE: tHaT’s A gOoD qUeStIoN mY mIrThFuL bRoThErS.
GAMZEE: i MaY nOt Be AlL uP aNd LeArNeD aBoUt HiS lIfE, bUt I’vE gOt DeEp SpIrItAl CoNnEcTiOnS tO hIs DeAtH.
GAMZEE: It JuSt So HaPpEnEd ThAt FaTe BrOuGhT mE tO hIs DoOrStEp On ThE vErY dAy ThAt He WeNt AnD mOtHeRfUcKiNg ChOkEd It OfF aT tHe NeCk.
GAMZEE: oNe Of ThE mOsT sPiRiTuAlLy AwAkEnInG mOmEnTs In My LiFe...
GAMZEE: In SuCh A sHoRt TiMe He TaUgHt Me So MuCh.
GAMZEE: ThIs WaS nO cOiNcIdEnCe. It WaS a HiGhEr PoWeR gUiDiNg My PaTh.
GAMZEE: tHeSe PoWeRs MaDe SuRe ThAt I wOuLd Be ThErE, tO rEcEiVe A gReAt WaRrIoR’s FiNaL mEsSaGe, AnD rElAy It To YoU oN tHiS dArK aNd DrEaRy DaY oF dEaTh.
GAMZEE: HoNk!
GAMZEE: AwWw, ShIzZ. i GuEsS i’Ve GoT tO uP aNd WiNg It!
GAMZEE: YoU eVeR wAkE uP aNd SiT dOwN tO dRoP a FaT oNe In ThE lOaD gApEr, BuT yOuR fLeSh BoDy JuSt AiN’t ReAdY tO gO aNd DoOk It OuT yEt?
GAMZEE: tHaT’s WhAt LiFe WaS lIkE fOr ThE d-MaN.
GAMZEE: A mAn BoRn WiTh A pUrPoSe. A pLaN.
GAMZEE: bUt ThE wIcKeD wAyS oF tHiS wOrLd StOlE tHaT aWaY fRoM hIm...
ROXY: WOW WASNT THAT GREAT FOLKS!
ROXY: WOW JUST WOW I KNEW THIS GUY WOULDNT LET US DOWN
ROXY: BRAVO!!! DAMN I FEEL LIKE IF I NEVER HEARD ANOTHER WORD THIS GUY EVER SAID THATD BE FINE BECAUSE THAT WAS ALL JUST SO *PERFECT*
ROXY: ANYTHING MORE WOULD ONLY DAMPEN THIS PERFECT MEMORY HE GAVE US!
ROXY: TAKE A BOW GAMZEE AND THEN OH YEAH THE EXITS THAT WAY!
GAMZEE: hOoOoOoOoOnK.
ROXY: (hey dude can u get up there and say somethin as like...)
ROXY: (a palate cleanser?)
JAKE: Gulp! Uh...
ROXY: (he was your best bro! come on man surely u got somethin in ur heart to say)
JAKE: Oh... Okay.
ROXY: hay everybody its jakes turn!
ROXY: hes got a few words hed like to say about our dear departed buddy
JOHN: (oh for fuck’s sake.)
JOHN: uhh, hi guys!
DAVE: hey
KARKAT: I SEE THAT EVEN YOU COULDN’T BEAR GAMZEE’S ASININE, BRUTAL AND 100% NONCONSENSUAL ASSAULT ON YOUR LISTEN CRATERS, AND ALSO THE BASIC DECENCY WHICH SAPIENT BEINGS APPARENTLY OWE TO ONE ANOTHER ON THIS PLANET.
JOHN: no, um, actually i listened to the entire thing.
JOHN: i have no idea why i did that. now i have this whole memory in my head that i could have definitely lived without.
JOHN: i was just worried... because you didn’t come back.
JOHN: dave, are you ok?
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: well no
DAVE: but its ok to not be ok about this specific thing i think
DAVE: so for once i think im having like
DAVE: a totally unironically normal emotional reaction to a thing
DAVE: which loops around back to being ok
DAVE: in fact im probs the okayest ive ever been objectively
JOHN: are you SURE?
KARKAT: THAT WAS HALF A HUNDRED WORDS TO EXPRESS A THREE LETTER SENTIMENT.
KARKAT: I’D SAY HE’S DOING FINE.
JOHN: hmm.
JOHN: because i was thinking...
JOHN: do you... want me to go back?
DAVE: go
DAVE: back??
JOHN: with my retcon powers.
JOHN: i could go back and stop him.
DAVE: dude
KARKAT: JOHN!
JOHN: what!
KARKAT: DO YOU NOT HAVE AN INCH OF GODDAMN SENSE IN THAT THICK FUCKING SKULL OF YOURS?
JOHN: what!!!
DAVE: john
DAVE: come on what are my powers
JOHN: ummm... time travel?
DAVE: so you dont think i wouldve already done that if i thought it was a good idea
JOHN: well ok yeah, obviously.
JOHN: but if you DID do it we wouldn’t even know right now because it would’ve just made a new timeline where dirk didn’t kill himself. that’s how time travel works, right?
DAVE: ehhh well actually
JOHN: but!
JOHN: if i retcon it...
JOHN: then it’s like it never even happened!
JOHN: we wouldn’t have had this horrible funeral at all.
DAVE: i dunno dude thats
DAVE: a little fucked up actually
JOHN: you think so?
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: dirk was a complicated guy
DAVE: dude obviously had reasons for doing what he did
DAVE: if you go back and just rewrite his decision
DAVE: thats like denying him his personal autonomy
JOHN: huh. i... didn’t think about it that way.
JADE: dave!!! roxys wondering where you are
DAVE: oh yeah be right there
JADE: what about you karkat? you coming??
KARKAT: YES! GOD!
KARKAT: CAN’T A MAN STAND ON A MOIST AND DREARY PIECE OF RELIGIOUS PROPERTY TO HELP CONSOLE HIS MAIN BRO?!
KARKAT: JESUS FUCK, GOD FORBID WE UPSET THE CAREFULLY ORCHESTRATED FUNERAL PROGRAMMING WHICH JUST FEATURED A SEGMENT WHEREIN A DEEPLY UNPOPULAR CLOWN PISSED HIMSELF IN FRONT OF THE CLAMORING PAPARAZZI!
JADE: oh lord... you dumb baby
JADE: karkat it looks to ME like youre the one third wheeling dave and johns poignant brotimes
JADE: so why dont you get your butt on over here???
KARKAT: ARGH... FINE!
DAVE: john
DAVE: i get what you were trying to do
DAVE: but
DAVE: its ok dude
DAVE: im ok
JOHN: that’s weird...
JOHN: it was working just the other day.
ROXY: lmao john its just me
ROXY: doin ok up there b?
JOHN: i’m fine!!!
JOHN: wait. b?
ROXY: yea like short for babe
ROXY: cuz ur my babe b
JOHN: oh, haha. right.
ROXY: is dave ok?
JOHN: yeah, i guess.
JOHN: ...
JOHN: are YOU okay?
ROXY: yea
ROXY: yea
ROXY: actually
ROXY: im more than ok
ROXY: cause ive been thinking
JOHN: oh?
ROXY: about you n me
ROXY: and this
ROXY: hey john
ROXY: we should get hitched
JOHN: ummmmmm...
JOHN: um...
JOHN: ...what???
ROXY: um what WHAT?
ROXY: john cmon
ROXY: marry me
JOHN: like...
JOHN: right NOW?
ROXY: lmao totes
ROXY: were already at the church n everything
JOHN: o-oh my god.
JOHN: oh my god!
ROXY: john
JOHN: oh my god, are you serious??
ROXY: no LOL
ROXY: john u take everything so literally
ROXY: its fuckin adorbs
JOHN: is that... why you want to marry me?
ROXY: yea
ROXY: im off the charts with all my jokes n shit
ROXY: and i gotta even all that out
ROXY: with this like HUGE helping of clueless nerd :)
JOHN: roxy...
ROXY: ok but lets be serious here moment
ROXY: i actually do love that youre so earnest
ROXY: its cute as fuck and also
ROXY: i always know where i stand with you
JOHN: roxy...
ROXY: sides this whole
ROXY: THING with dirk
ROXY: its made me realize that even though were immortal
ROXY: were not necessarily gonna live forever
ROXY: lifes too short not to spend every moment with the one u love
JOHN: you...
JOHN: LOVE me??
ROXY: yea john i love you
ROXY: wanna marry u and spend the rest of my life with u and pop out a bunch of cute lil buck toothed babies with you
JOHN: oh, uh. haha, wow. roxy that’s um.
JOHN: that’s a LOT.
ROXY: well you dont gotta answer rn
ROXY: just know its on the table
JOHN: i...
JOHN: i...
JOHN: ok.
JOHN: ok, let’s... let’s do it!
ROXY: ooo u want to do it??
JOHN: yeah!
JOHN: er... i mean...
JOHN: um, yeah. that too.
JOHN: but i meant...
JOHN: about the getting married thing.
JOHN: let’s... do that!
JOHN: let’s totally get married!!
ROXY: omg
ROXY: were gonna be SO freakin happy!
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