#i just hate the misogyny that COMES from feminine standards

[acourtoflight]

Elain and Az rant

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve been reading different acotar books. My absolute favorite characters are Elain and Azriel because despite not knowing much about them, we can tell how much they have bottled up inside, and how they never open up to people, how they are always unseen…Most importantly, I can see myself in them, that’s why it’s so strange to me when people say they hate Elain, either because she’s boring (she’s not, you just never pay attention to her) or because of how she treated Feyre in book 1. If you still can’t see the development that sjm has been building up for her in the past 3 books then I suggest you give the series a reread.

With Azriel it’s a bit different, even though we also don’t know much about him, everyone seems to be interested in what he has to offer. I am also interested but the double standards rub me the wrong way because him and Elain compliment each other so well yet everyone refuses to see it because Elain likes flowers and Azriel does not (does that not sound stupid to you?).

With this next book I think we are going to see a very different version of the introverted sister and our favorite broody bat boy. I know people will switch up their opinion on Elain just like they did with Nesta, even though their personalities are completely different.

Much of the hate for her feminine quiet persona comes from internalized misogyny and it’s so sad because for once, why can’t a soft character be the hero of a story?

With everything being said, I’m so curious to know what elriel’s journey entails, and how they can rely on each other to find that healing.

[merymoonbeam]

Listen...the big part of the elain hate comes from how majority of the authors write their feminine girls.

In every book there is girl A and she is...this outcast girl who doesn't have much friends and she is not like everybody. She is "uniquie" bc she doesnt follow the society's standards. She is "different". She will rise againts the "rulers" and show them who the boss is.

And there is girl B. She is feminine. She follows the rules. She is liked within the society. But somehow authors make the girl A hate girl B bc...she is feminine. HOW CAN SHE FOLLOW THOSE RULES? HOW CAN SHE FIT IN? HOW EVRRYBODY LIKES HER SHE MUST BE FAKE?...and every other reason. So girl A and girl B are made opposites. They are enemies. Girl A being the protagonist...we are made to hate girl B. And later girl B starts to hate girl A bc...plot reasons and girl A is stealing girl B's friends(especially the guys) and girl B turns into bitch and we are made to hate her. We are made to look at girl B as this villain when...it is just authors who villianized her, her femininity. We are made to hate her for fitting in. We are made to hate her for being nice girl to the society and follow the rules...bc girl A doesnt. Girl A thinks those "characteristics" are something to be hated. They make you "less".

And how does this fit to Elain?

She is called a bitch bc she just wants to be nice to everybody.HOW COULD SHE...SHE IS DEF FAKE.

She is being called bitch bc he sided with Feyre...how could she follow that? LOOK AT NESTA.

She is called a bitch bc she doesnt give Lucien time of the day...how could she??? Its her duty but at the same time they criticize her for following the rules withing the night court too. So...??

She is called a bitch bc she is feminine. THERE IS DEF SOMETHING UP WITH HER. SHE IS EVIL. SHE IS WORKING WITH EVILS. SHE IS BAD BAD BAD.

but look at gwyn...she is different. And look she has trauma. She cant be bad. She doesnt follow the rules. Look how she goes againts the illyrians and fighting. Not feminine at all. Look at her...she will totally go againts the "rules"(aka illyrians and Autumn court beron) and set them in place. Illyrian plot and all. SEE. She is so different. And Elain totally will be jealous of her when she sees Gwyn with the necklace. And she will turn evil bc of azriel and azriel chose gwyn.

Do you see it? Bc I sure do lmfao.

Grow up people.

Also editing to add...we all know where the hate for feminine girls of authors come from. internalized misogyny

[daenystheedreamer]

some coquettes internalised misogyny is so bad it's downright hilarious. i said that i loved gnc women this one time and i was labelled “not a girls girl” by multiple people. feminism is when we only support feminine women and their right to be feminine 🫶🏼

its so insidious!! my main problem with the community(ugh i hate that word) is the roots it has from 2014 proana EDtumblr yknow? and how that informs so much of the discourse. there's so much judgemental hatred towards other women, DEEP hatred of fat women, euro-centric beauty often bordering on racist standards (if black or asian women are posted theyre often button-nosed waifs!), and an uncomfortable level of bio-essentialism and trans exclusionary tradfeminism (refusing to call it terf cos its not radfem at ALL)

and i dont mean to insult the community cos i know you and many others are just having fun and enjoying an aesthetic btw!!! and most of you do love women and engage in feminism and are there to uplift and love other girls especially supporting those in recovery. but ive just seen so much bitterness and cruelty from the uglier corners of the community

and i think it comes from how its an online space that yes has appearance and emotions and female trauma as huge themes/aspects. and this can sometimes really unfortunately devolve into a romanticisation of pain and guilt in a way that mirrors incels/femcels (NOT CALLING YOU A FEMCEL 😭) and how it often rejects or judges pro-recovery, as if one isnt 'dedicated' to their pain and suffering, as if to recover is to reject those still suffering. i di

[luxxsolaris]

The issues (and non-issues) of bimbocore

This little discussion is coming off the back of a thought (rant) I shared on another blog a few weeks ago, largely where reinvented bimbo started compared to where it is now and why is everyone blaming Chrissy Chlapecka?

the resurgence of the 'bimbo' aesthetic in the early 2020s embarked as a movement of reclamation, a way to assert that there was actually nothing demeaning about a barbie-esque appearance and to remove the power from stereotypes used against us, essentially centring the Bimbo in a queer, left-wing ideology.

If you were to ask a modern Bimbo why hot pink? Why bedazzled? Why perform this exaggerated caricature of femininity? You might end up in a seemingly unrelated discussion about the modern Western political landscape. Bimbo culture has essentially emerged upon the heels of the controversies surrounding feminine experiences and bodily autonomy across the United States- women feeling that they are being confined to a specific performance of femininity, that the government is regulating their femininity, may tell you that the idea of bimbo culture is a satirical backlash to the ideas of what a modern Western woman should be and what she is expected to be. She is nothing more than a doll to the culture that surrounds her and her response is to take what is expected of her and make it a performance a juxtaposition of what she is expected to be and what she is and make them hate her for the femininity she is presenting. And thats exactly what Lauren Pantin said in her short update newsletter - ' If you’re going to punish me for being a woman anyway, I’m going to be the silliest, brattiest, potty-mouthed no-no of a woman you’ve ever seen. I’ll be the dumbest bitch on earth! Where’s my crown!"

Ask another bimbo and she'll tell you that her bimboism stems from the movement to satirise consumerist culture and misogyny, aiming to remove the stigmas around hyper-femininity. Essentially, allowing women to empower themselves through their femininity (rather than the popular idea of in spite of their femininity cough cough inlog cough) and giving women ownership over their sexuality and their body in ways that actively combat the misogynistic standards held against them- oftentimes gearing it towards queer people. It's a new-wave feminist movement designed to avert the male gaze through women appearing as these caricatures of traditional femininity whilst emphasising their own dominance and independence as support for women's right movements.

So it's a kind of sartorial rebellion against oppressive politics and culture? Well, it was at first. And to many it still is, however, as with all trends rooted in a sartorial culture the meaning tends to get lost in the shares and reposts as it expands across social media. Those who just happen across the culture or see nothing but images of it scattered across the internet arent likely to understand that this aesthetic is also a political performance, it will become a bimbo resurgence!... but not effectively hold the same weight and meaning that the movement was intended to hold.

One way to look at this is the trend of " girl [activity]" . Trends like girl maths, girl dinner, explaining things to the girlies. Now let me get it straight theres nothing wrong in finding a little fun in these trends- girl dinner was cute, as someone who loves cooking I loved seeing what everyone was making for their dinner until it got overrun by the 'I only had iced coffee today' brigade. Sometimes I'll see a girl maths video about how if I pay in cash its basically free since the number on my bank account didn't change and I laugh because thats logic I have applied to purchases before. There's little funny things and behaviours that people will have in common, and they're being labelled as 'girl [blank]' because it is predominantly groups of women discussing them and finding a little fun in it. But again, as trends reach a wider audience their initial intention becomes lost along the way and generalisations start to set in. TV shows and radio hosts have entire segments explaining girl maths, it has become cute and quirky to explain political landscapes in terms of shopping and makeup, and bimbo culture has become less of a satirical performance and instead commonly assumed as a Karen Smith- esque personality reminiscent of the 'dumb blondes' of the early 2000s.

Removing this sartorial protest from its context can be seem as damaging, especially in the way that social media currently presents aesthetics surrounding sexuality to young people. As bimbo culture reaches a wider audience it's likely to fall into the hands of young people who are, let's face it, not going to care about the deeper meaning. Young people are likely to see celebrities, tiktok personalities, attractive people in general donning their hot pink promiscuous outfits and feel inclined to join in on what is presented to them as nothing more than the newest fashion trend.

One of the key movements of bimboisim is to embrace feminine sexuality and overcome the stigmas about women expressing their sex and sexuality and sartorially this is represented by the micro mini skirt and the skimpy shirt. Society has had no difficulty pushing teenage girls to grow up rather quickly by presenting them with teen magazines in the y2k era talking about how to get a bigger bust or butt, social media promoting the attractive body type the attractive face the attractive makeup the attractive style of clothing that will settle their pubescent insecurities and validate them in the eyes of a society run by men. Young women are ridiculed for their bodies not being developed enough at 15, for not being sexually active at 16, must have lived the life experiences of drugs and alcohol and sex and heartbreak at 17 and are then turned into high school girl fucks random guy porn at 18. Removed-bimboism has become part of the problem in which young girls not only feel the need to dress promiscuously and express a sexuality that they still haven't fully explored in order to feel validated as an active part of society but also have to present themselves as stupid in order to seem funny cute and quirky. The idea that women are only able to understand complex theories if they are presented in terms of fashion and shopping and makeup is a stereotype enforced by tv and movie comedy that women have worked endlessly to overcome, and the reclamation of bimbo culture should not actively counteract the progress of feminist activity. You don't have to be smart to be a modern bimbo by any means, in terms of intelligence the movement is centred around a more relaxed approach to success that counters the ideology of the girl boss movement- you don't HAVE to be a huge success or overwork yourself to hell and back to validate who you are as a woman.

Modern bimboism set out with the comfort of knowing there is no pressure to understand everything, you might need something explained in your own terms, you might just be a little fucking stupid sometimes but there is no active harm in not always understanding. That, however, has been twisted through these trends discussed prior to make it seem like all bimbos (and by misogynistic extension, all women) are just not as smart as men. Which, as we know, is likely to be emulated by young people as it reaches a wider audience.

So it's understandable why there is concern over bimboism. But at what point does critique of bimboism begin to drift into the right wing? Blaming women who dress provocatively simply for being women who dress provocatively is not the answer, in my opinion, to the issues with the bimbo culture. There is (to the chagrin of many) nothing wrong with an adult women expressing the ownership of the sexuality that she was granted the right to express through the liberation of women, sex and queerness.

Tensions have been rising within more radical groups, or groups who are of the tendency to reject feminine presentation in regard to what they perceive as an active threat to the reputation of women. There has been a desire expressed across social media sites by these women that 'all women' should refrain from direct expressions of femininity and reject all social norms expected of women under the assertion that it 'makes us all look bad'. There is a lot to be said about the ways in which misogyny utilises stereotypes and generalisations of what is considered 'feminine behaviour' to degrade women, however, it is highly pretentious and internally misogynistic a notion that the very idea of feminine expression is to be at fault. The ideology begins to attack individual women, expressing that their online content is to blame for the ways in which men treat women, or that children have become so oversexualised.

In a way this reflects the puritan standards of online censorship frequently weaponised by the right wing in order to oppress further marginalised groups. 'Think of the Children' has been used time and time again as a way to bastardise protests of queerness, of sexual liberation of racial equity and it is being weaponised now again just as it was across the 70s against women who dare to be 'immodest' . It goes without saying that people who create content online are not responsible for the actions of teenagers who in the midst of discovering their sexuality, may seek out more mature content- not just for sexual gratification, but a newfound interest into how adults express their sexuality as a way to help them navigate expression themselves. To place limits on how women are allowed to dress or express sexuality is to revert to the ideas of puritanism that existed prior to the (well, partial) liberation of the marginalised people.

Is bimbo culture perfect? No, it's been washed out as a mimicry of early 2000s internalised misogyny. Is it worth hating on random women? No, there issue is more centred to how misgyny is so deeply rooted in our society that we are happier to blame women for the stereotypes forced upon them than to actually comment on how society cultivates these ideas.

[bunorous]

Amnesia: Rebirth and Misogyny

Hi! I’m rereading old Reddit threads and getting worked up over men males Annoying Amnesia Fans™️ deliberately misunderstanding the roles men and women play in video games. Here’s the fruits of my labor:

First and foremost: let’s debunk the obvious, frankly asinine counter-arguments.

“I don’t particularly, consciously hate female protagonists, so that’s not why I disliked rebirth/tasi” — if misogyny was only what you believed at the forefront of your mind, then we would not have misogyny. If misogyny was not a subtle plague that is hammered into you the moment you’re born, we would not have patriarchy. Just because you don’t know you hate female protagonists, doesn’t mean you don’t hate female protagonists.

Additionally: pregnancy is, if not inherently, a largely feminine thing. You cannot separate pregnancy from a uterus, and uteruses threaten men. The mere concept of pregnancy easily offsets a man and makes them denounce a game entirely, whereas women have dealt with all sorts of uncomfortable male topics (sexual abuse and violence against women, misogyny, fetishization etc) and dealt with it.

(Do you see where I’m going with this? The obvious double standard? That’s important later.)

Next: Tasi did not ramble any more than Daniel did, any more than Mandus did, either in general or about their children. The only time she really did was when she was narrating something that happened (common occurrence in horror games including amnesia) or the mechanic which is LITERALLY centered around dialogue, and changes based on your environment. That said, it’s also largely optional, and more often than not DOES serve a larger narrative purpose.

(Also— and this is my personal opinion- I think Daniel is poorly acted. God be damned if I don’t love him and his VA, but he is poorly acted. Hur dur are there dead people in the morgue Alexander).

On the same topic: Amnesia is not a fucking RPG. If you feel like you’re in the role of the character, great. That’s easy when they’re fucking silent as the grave the entire time except for letters and flashbacks. Amnesia has always been driven by two things; Characters and their motivations, and the fear of the unknown. (Rebirth checks one of those boxes).

Furthermore, when we look at the general consensus on rebirth, most of the reviews will be from men, because amnesia arguably has a predominately male audience. The reviews I’ve seen from women, though, all say they felt plenty immersed with Tasi as a character, that the game reflected their own fears.

Men (I am not going to specify not all men for the millionth time, fuck, if it isn’t about you then it isn’t about you) refuse to empathize with women the way women are forced to empathize with men because in gaming, and in the world, men are represented in all sorts of ways, where— at least for a very very long time— women had very slim pickings and, in recent years, there’s only been a handful of gems.

(No, don’t say Bayonetta or Peach. Do not fucking say Bayonetta or Peach. If those two roles were all women could ever be in video games, forever…)

You could argue you tired of Tasi talking about her child the way you grew tired of Mandus doing it, but Mandus very, very seldom verbally laments about his children the way Tasi does. You cannot reasonably draw that conclusion.

(I don’t see Oswald being condemned for, fuck, for what? For having children? The way Tasi is, either. Surely there is a systemic reason for that.)

Also: Tasi is held to a FAR higher standard than any male protagonist. When we see a male character we automatically take their actions and don’t view them at face value, we consider the shades of gray which is the very same theme the original game hoped to convey. Did Tasi truly do anything worse than Daniel? Then why do you shun her so deliberately while excusing him?

(Truth is they’re fictional and you shouldn’t act like either of them should be put before a court or something or other. But come on. Are they truly comparable?)

Female characters are slightly annoying once and are raked over the coals. Male characters can genocide an entire fucking country and people will still forgive that.

All in all: Misogyny is literally baked into our society. A game with a female protagonist will 100% of the time be subject to more criticism no matter what and Tasi is no exception especially because she experiences something directly correlated with women.

We could relate to Henri, I doubt many amnesia fans served in world war 1. We could relate to Daniel, I doubt many amnesia fans were manipulated into murder. You cannot relate to one fucking pregnant woman and her baby?

(I will say ONE thing to credit these people: the birth scene was uncomfortable not because it was childbirth but because Jesus fucking Christ doctor can you stop staring into the depths of my soul.)

[leulah]

Gender Roles in the ASOIAF Fandom

There is a lot of discourse going around about female roles and femininity in ASOIAF and how certain characters are less than for fitting into traditional ideas about gender roles in the series. And while there are so many things fucked about this discussion of "who is the better victim of misogyny", I also think a lot of people are missing the point entirely.

I see a lot of accounts saying that it is backwards or "tradwife" to defend certain female characters because they quote "uphold the patriarchy", and defending them is regressive because it is what is viewed as the expectation and standard in the real world for real women- which is true it is the expectation. But it is a very black and white view on a very complex problem to just write off all "soft female" characters as misogynistic because they fit into this real world standard. This discussion runs a lot deeper than "feminine good/masculine bad", because at the end of the day female roles are still viewed as being lower than male roles in society. In the eyes of the patriarchy being masculine is always better because it's about power and control, and in order to have this power women and femininity have to be viewed as beneath them. You can see this when men get emasculated because their partner makes more money than them, or they make fun of girly things- these gender roles are less about "promoting femininity" than it is about promoting a power dynamic.

That is why are characters who are more masculine and don't fall into these expectations of gender roles like Dany or Arya, are generally viewed better in the larger fandom space than those that do. It is because being masculine is always viewed as being better than being feminine, and in a fictional world where these women in power pose no actual threat to real men's masculinity they are viewed as being stronger and better people. Being masculine makes these women more worthy of respect in the eyes of the fandom. This is also similar to how when discussing history people often say: "Look women were also warriors! They're important too," as if a woman's worth only comes from her proximity to masculinity, and the women who were just mothers and wives and weavers are unworthy of our admiration and respect. Even though it is true that real society promotes and expects women to fit into a traditional female role, being masculine is still viewed as superior to being feminine.

By contrast, female characters in ASOIAF like Catelyn and Sansa who do not fall into this warrior women archetype are often berated and hated by the fandom. On one side, because they are viewed as weak and by being traditionally feminine they are seen as "upholding the patriarchy" in Westeros- disregarding the fact they are victims of it as well. But on the other hand, a lot of the complaints about Cat and Sansa come from men who feel as though they threaten men's power in the series. A common complaint about Catelyn is that she undermined and questioned Robb's power- because how dare she have a say in what happens to her family. Sansa the eleven year old is often criticized for "betraying Ned" by going to Cersei and writing the letter, with people often saying its her fault for the war and not the various adults and men in power. If a male character like Jon or Ned questions or goes against those in power it is seen as necessary and strategic, but when a female character takes any action or autonomy in their own narrative, it is viewed as a threat.

And of course there is more nuance to this, because not everyone does like the characters who break out of gender expectations, and these women in power are still viewed as a threat when their story intertwines with men. Daenerys gets respect insofar as she is not a threat to other main male characters, but the second she stands in the way of Jon's supposed claim or being Azor Ahai, she is discarded by the fandom and must be sacrificed as "the Nissa Nissa for Jon's heroic storyline". These women in masculine roles are celebrated in the fandom space, but when they too begin to question male authority their support crumbles under the same misogyny the feminine characters face.

There are many reasons why someone would prefer the female characters that fight and break out of gender roles over ones that are more traditional, but if your reaction to femininity is one of weakness and worthlessness I think you need to do some self reflection on your relationship to women. Yes, the "let women be soft" argument is reductive due to irl expectations, but that doesn't make feminine women deserving of your hate and harassment. Fiction is not reality, and people don't have the same expectations and reactions between them, and trying to boil down a complex discussion on power dynamics and gender roles in the series to "feminine bad" is reductive and not at all the message. Both sets of women deserve respect and both suffer under the rules and traditions in their world, but you have to remember there is no "better victim". There is no winner under the patriarchy.

[spidermanifested]

this is not my usual type of post but ive been rotating some thoughts and i guess my blogs as good a place as any to get them organized. okay so this is basically my take on the entire discourse surrounding the "feminine (presumed cis lets be honest) women are uniquely oppressed for being feminine/making female characters quote unquote Less Feminine is antifeminist" thing. which i keep seeing come up. on this internet of ours

context being im a trans guy. grew up largely seen by others as female, probably, sort of. was about as far from a cishet womans feminine as you can imagine. not in a cool tomboy way. not in a way that society had a box for. and thats the thing, is that when you fail at gender, whether youre conscious of it or not, theres this extremely profound loneliness that comes with it. part of it was the autism but i made like 6 real-life friends total from ages 4 to 18 and there were no examples of anyone with an even remotely adjacent experience i could find in the media or irl. anytime a female character skirted a little too close to actual masculinity in a tv show or movie shed get that makeover eventually. i was bullied by both boys and girls but the girls who bullied me were uniformly very feminine.

and so i see people talking about how hard feminine women and girls have it, how the world hates them for being beautiful, and on the one hand its like okay, Misogyny Exists. thats not really refutable thats just the reality of it. society hates women. and as for eurocentric femininity specifically i understand its a hard tightrope to walk!!! you have to put on all these masks BUT make them seem natural, youre forced into these narrow boxes of acceptable behavior and appearance and desires, and if you under- or over-shoot then people get reminded the whole thing is a farce and get mad (often violently!) at YOU for it

........but then my thing is, that on one side of the tightrope, the "overperforming eurocentric femininity" side, the tradwife or girlboss or blonde bimbo side, theres an entire history of structural trope-crafting to break your fall, right. like its a shitty box but its the box society WANTS you to be in. they look at you and go "yep thats a woman. we dont like those but that sure is one". there are known social niches to carve out. theres a script.

on the unfeminine side theres just. nothing. its stone cold concrete down there. and apparently twitter would have you believe its actually that the "more masculine" somebody presumed female appears the more society respects them but that to me is the wildest and most nonsense take on the planet because if people see you as a woman or girl who has not taken the needed steps to justify your place as one of those things you might as well be an alien, or even a monster. theres no script at all. and i feel like this is one of the major experiences that trans and gnc people of every gender share-- god knows trans women get the brunt of the vitriol-- and from my knowledge a lot of nonwhite people too, and also fat and disabled people, like. there are SO many things that affect your ability to achieve even a fraction of success at this aspirational femininity.

ive had to see people for real make the argument that princess peach making an angry face is masculine. i think the most masculine woman anyone on twitter can imagine right now is like a businesswoman in a form-fitting pantsuit and light mascara. maybe the struggle of succeeding at femininity under patriarchy deserves exploration, ive seen plenty of coherent and reasonable points, its not without worth as a discussion. but i do not trust the general public with the topic without immediately sliding into bog standard gender policing and transphobia, and so in closing, when the mainstream feminist take on the whole thing seems to be "the more you perform the femininity expected of you the worse you have it", i get the sensation that nobody told me it was opposite day and im about to feel real silly

[linnienin]

Hi hi! I add the thing you asked me to and it showed! They were just hidden!

I'm doing good btw how are you feeling today love??🥰

Also could you do Sirene Conjunct Vertex and Lilith conjunct Aphrodite post? Both aspects in 8th house and all in Cancer.

Ps i found another lilith called H21 (which I've read is like theoretically a 5th Lilith) that's Conjunct to Aphrodite,Vertex,Lilith and Sirene😦

🌹 S i r e n e ⁕ c o n j u n c t ⁕ V e r t e x + L i l i t h ⁕ c o n j u n c t ⁕ A p h r o d i t e 🌹 (8th house-Cancer)

Hi lovely! How are you today? 💖

I'm feeling ok thanks for asking, maybe a bit tired

Sure! Here are my thoughts on your placements:

🌹 Naturally magnetic

🌹 Reserved

🌹 Everyone wants to know more of them, it's like they're obsessed finding out their secrets

🌹 Can be manipulative without even knowing, because they grew up in a manipulative environment (underdeveloped)

🌹 Penetrating gaze

🌹 Seen as very demanding by others

🌹 They just hold their standards high

🌹 Can have trouble connecting to their genuine feminine side (internalized misogyny)

🌹 Can get envy and hate from other women

🌹 Attack with sharp words if she feels threatened

🌹 Can isolate when in hard times because she doesn't want others to see her at her worst

🌹 Loves to stay indoor

🌹 Need a way to release their sexual impulses but feel shame towards them so they repress them instead

🌹 Don't like to show their chest area when dressing

🌹 Can be pretty modest overall when it comes to fashion

🌹 Can get frequently lost in their thoughts and ruminate over and over again

🌹 Difficulty letting go of the past (it holds all their fears)

Hope you enjoyed this!

Have a great day! 🌹

Btw, on your H21 Lilith discovery, i usually focus on H13 (Black Moon Lilith) in a chart, i feel this is the most powerful of all of them, and probably the one with most info and researches out there.

All the other Liliths have energy in your chart too, but i wouldn't overthink on them for now, at least not before we gather more knowledge. I still think that anything tightly conjunct (orbs 0-2 degrees) a personal planet or in the first house can add depth to that planet and in 1st house it amplifies their power, but other than this, it's probably a minor energy in your chart.

[marley-manson]

2, 3, and 17 for Hawkeye

Thank you!

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

The gay jokes. Which, in the 70s context, includes the feminizing jokes.

Like first of all it's why I started watching Mash in the first place lol, and it was worth it just for that. But also, and I know I've talked about this before but it's always worth getting into, I just love the vibes of like 99% of them?

Sure there's the occasional joke that genuinely comes across as homophobic, usually at Frank's expense, but the vast majority of Hawkeye's jokes in particular exist not to make fun of gay guys/effeminate men/gender nonconformity as a concept, but to paint himself as earnestly and proudly non-normative in contrast to the hypermasculine army.

The joke isn't 'haha it's funny to pretend to be gay because I'm so obviously not' and it's not 'haha isn't it pathetic (and probably relatable to you, loser audience member) that i'm not hypermasculine?' The joke is Hawkeye sticking it to the man by embracing everything the man hates rather than trying to live up to the man's draconian standards of gender performance. It's very 60s/70s counterculture that way, and I love that vibe.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

This is hard lol because my actual least favourite things are anomalous moments I consider mischaracterization or other flaws with the show as a whole (eg the show is racist and sometimes it's racist through Hawkeye's dialogue, but it's hard to blame Hawkeye watsonianly because the show clearly paints him as actively anti-racist to a greater extent than any other main character, even if it fails to show it at times lol) rather than things I actually incorporate into my understanding of his character.

And there's the way he loses his sense of rebellion as the show goes on, which is more of a pet peeve with the show's tone shift. Then once I incorporate it into my understanding of Hawkeye through headcanons I enjoy it again as a potential character flaw, so it's hard to call it a least favourite thing about Hawkeye really, even if it sucks a lot to watch at times.

Which I guess leaves the misogyny, specifically in the form of incessantly hitting on women. I don't dislike it as much as Alan Alda wanted me to lol, and I find the later seasons condemnation of it more annoying than the early seasons celebration of it, but I mean aside from the gay/feminine jokes that the womanizing occasionally facilitates, it's always irritating to watch to some degree. I do abstractly enjoy that Hawkeye is very sexual and experienced in theory because it makes it that much harder for fans to headcanon him as sexually repressed and shy lol, but I wish he'd shut the fuck up sometimes.

17. What’s a ship for this character you don’t hate but it’s not your favorite that you’re fine with?

All gay Hawkeye ships that don't make him top by default, except hawktrap because that is my favourite. So basically, any gay Hawkeye ship except Hawkeye/Radar I guess lol. Assuming "fine with" here means that the ship wouldn't make me backbutton out of a fic that I would otherwise enjoy. I'm "fine with" any ship existing in general, but there's plenty that would stop me from reading a fic.

ask meme

[hyenagurl]

Opinion on drag queens? I can’t stand them tbh

im glad you asked tbh bc frankly i can’t really pinpoint my feelings entirely on them, its changed a lot over the years. when i was a 17-20 i was a HUGE drag race fan and i watched the show and posted on the subreddit, and this was when i first started exploring radical feminism so i wasnt unaware of the critiques going on about them here either. i guess back then i thought it was all in good fun. then a few years ago i lost interest in the show and like you i couldnt stand them anymore, i wrote them all off as overrated, sexist and tasteless caricatures of overblown femininity at best and actual degrading pornographic hateful stereotypes of women at worst (i considered then and now drag queens like trixie mattel, katya, detox icunt and raven to be the worst in this regard).

nowadays… im somewhere in the middle. while i dont know if i personally would go so far as to call it art (at least no more than i would consider the performance of femininity itself an ‘art’) i understand that it has its own history amongst gay men and i do think some of it has genuine merit as performance art - as in, some queens do put in the effort to make their own costumes, do their own choreography, etc. but on the other hand for that, if it is going to be evaluated as a performance art, then like other forms of art it should absolutely be held to the same standards of criticism, and shouldnt be shielded from that criticism just bc its an art created primarily by a marginalized group of gay men (or HST trans women). and thats where the very real feminist critiques on the misogyny in drag comes in, and it disgusts me that any concerns women have are written off as us being joykills or no better than conservative pukes or whatever. gay men are still capable of being misogynist towards women so it shouldnt be surprising at all that a good portion of drag queens are performing a sexist caricature of women (like the ones i mentioned above, those are considered to be the most famous and successful, go figure).

i think what really cemented this view in my mind was this clip that went viral awhile ago of this drag queen running around in a public space with this huge ridiculous floppy breastplate that was bouncing around… but then he ran into this group of children and he IMMEDIATELY cringed and covered himself. and it kinda just clicked for me for how weird some of this is, in a way that nobody but feminists were talking about. you have this grown man gleefully running around with this gross and porny and realistic looking piece of womens flesh worn over his body, because thats supposed to be funny and entertaining, and everyone takes it a face value and doesnt wonder what that says about how we view womens bodies?

i think the conservative backlash towards them in general is massively overblown, i dont think drag queens are in themselves inappropriate to be near children because feminine men are not inappropriate, altho i do think naked men or men wearing realistic breast plates or fetish gear ARE inappropriate to be around children, but thats just common sense lol, and yet both leftists and right wing morons fail to grasp this, that not all drag is child friendly, and similarly that some drag is misogynistic as well. (alot of them are mostly overrated as performers too…)

so yeah tldr i have mixed feelings towards them that can be best summed up as a passive annoyance or ambivalence. i agree that some of its very misogynistic and offensive, but that it varies from queen to queen. im sorry if this was meandering, im still trying to figure out my feelings towards them, and im hoping i can find some more feminist critiques on them to help me gather my thoughts towards them better lol

[inbarfink]

I suppose my Hot Take 'bout the 'Not Like the Other Girls' thing, as a certified Was a Weird GirlTM in High School, is that it's very Frustrating how it's discussed as… "is it Internalized Misogyny or a Valid Way for Ostracized and Bullied Girls to Talk About Their Experiences?" because it's kinda both???

Like, being a teenager is messy, We Live in a Society, you can't expect every lonely teen girl to personally untangle every aspect of the background radition of sexism she lives in before she tries to vent about how it seems no other girl in school understands her. So elements of misogyny and slut-shaming (ESPECIALLY slut-shaming) can seep through their feelings and like - we should be able to discuss it critically, because there IS misogyny in there. But that doesn't mean we need to talk about it like it's the WORST or ONLY form of Internalized Misogyny out there (when trying to force other women to conform to standards of Femininity via bullying and other social pressures is a much worse and important example).

And that also doesn't mean we can't have compassion for these girls and understand where their feelings are coming from…

It also frustrates me how many external factors are ignored in favor of just blaming it all on the Not Like the Other Girls individually. Even leaving aside that Sexism is Everywhere and how this is generally a reaction to being ostracized or isolated by the Other Girls - I see very few people talk about how many Weird Girls ostracized from female-centeric spaces can find a sort of conditional acceptance in male-centeric spaces… with the condition being that we tolerate and/or participate in the dudes' casual misogyny - and the effect that can have on us.

Or of representation of 'Not Like the Other Girls' in media - generally written by an actual grown up dude writer whose idea of making a female character 'cool' is making sure she hates women just as much as he does. But barely no one talks about them and instead all of the energy seems to go into mocking the Actual IRL Teen Girls and ONLY them.

A lot of the time, it really just feels like an excuse to find a Feminist-Approved Reason to make fun of teenage girls.

[ablednt]

God though I have a complicated relationship with womanhood like growing up I was afab and by the time I hit puberty I so very much Wanted to be a girl but like. I never felt like one and I never was really treated like one either. Because of my disabilities because of my executive dysfunction I was seen as a girl not in the way a human woman can be a girl and more like how a dog can be a girl.

And that would've done enough damage on its own but all of this took place in a fundamentalist cult setting in which afab people's entire worth hinged on their ability to fit "ladylike" standards. Women were objects in this culture but I was a useless object, I would only ever be the thing doomed to perform gender it is not allowed to have and be mocked for it the idea of anyone actually viewing me as a girl or a woman was out of the question. None of that was ever explicitly stated of course and everyone dangled the idea of me just trying a little harder and actually becoming a real girl was dangled over my head and I spent my teenage years chasing it relentlessly and never succeeding.

So then I stepped into queer spaces and for a while thought I was a cis girl and just really miserable being a girl mostly because I never wanted to transition to anything else I just wanted to get any semblance of self-actualization you know? Becoming a lesbian helped a lot, I stopped feeling ashamed of having bodyhair and in acknowledging my attraction to girls was because they're beautiful and I want to kiss them and not because I'm sad how much more human and girl they are compared to me, my self esteem slowly improved.

But I wasn't there yet because my only tie to girlhood was still the misogyny I experienced, no one made me feel like a woman no one treated me the way other girls I knew were treated, but I had to bear the full brunt of fundementalist misogyny. Not only was I female but I was, in their eyes, defective and deserving to be punished for not being a real woman to them yet being female. Spending a lot of time around exclusionists and cryptoterfs wasn't helping at all because they equated being a woman to that same suffering that I wanted to recover from. I felt unsteady because I was less than a girl already and then I was told that being a girl is just suffering and I felt trapped.

That eventually led me to becoming nonbinary (which, I still am I haven't stopped IDing as that) because finally I was offered an out. If girlhood was a treadmill I was forced to run with broken legs, the nonbinary community turned it off and bought me a wheelchair. I didn't Have to be a girl and I wasn't worth less than "real girls" and outside of the binary there weren't really any standards. Sure hyper-androgyny was expected in a lot of queer spaces but I wasn't really that out as nonbinary so I could just kind of relax and figure myself out.

I spent a few years coming to terms with that and I started to get dysphoric over my body mainly because whilst I'd escaped cis-feminine beauty standards people still saw my size and disabilities and treated me badly and I thought that if I tried to be more boyish I'd at least be seen as a disabled boy instead of a disabled girl (as a little person I still look and sound like a child and unsurprisingly people give young boys a lot more independence and ask a lot less questions than with young girls) but despite having a flat chest I could never pass as masculine very long at all so I grew to resent my body and my voice for not being masculine not because I actually hated being feminine but because I desperately wanted to be treated like a human being. I didn't know anything about disability rights at the time or even that I was disabled so I just identified the dysphoria and struggled with it. I do think it Was gender dysphoria but it was just really compounded by internalized ableism.

Interestingly once I'd spent enough time in my nonbinary identity to take notice of some glaring issues re: cis women's treatment of transmasc people in "inclusive" spaces and started to talk about it all the women who treated me like woman-lite and insisted I perform that toxic femininity for them realized they could not allow me to say "as someone who's woman-alligned I'm calling bullshit on your transphobia" so people very aggressively started misgendering me as masculine. A lot of them were terfs and a lot of them just assumed I was amab because I disagreed with them and it was really distressing to fall right back into being gatekept from womanhood but now very blatantly "you can't be a woman because you're not Like Us you're a man or something else but you're not one of us".

So i unpacked some of my trauma with growing up afab but not Really A Woman and realized I had a lot more underlining dysphoria and resentment towards femininity than I realized. At that point I said "well if you don't want me to be a girl then fuck it I'm not at all a girl anymore. Why would I care to fit into some bullshit standards anyway?"

That lasted a little while until I made friends with other trans and nonbinary people who were happily feminine or woman alligned. Mostly it came in the form of a lot of light hearted "girl power" jokes and just making girlhood something light-hearted and free of any actual standards and that really gradually healed something in me. I was discovering a femininity and womanhood that was genuine and desirable, girl can mean anyrhing a girl wants it to mean and that was something new it wasn't the gender I was assigned at birth by a fucking long shot.

The past year, even though I'm still definitely nonbinary, I've become completely comfortable calling myself a girl again and using she/her in addition to they/them and now I know the problem was never that I didn't want to be a girl but that girlhood and most cis people's idea of girlhood are just different genders entirely.

I'm not detrans or anything especially considering I never had any sort of transition other than the pronouns I still use but I have that experience of "when you question your gender you unlock your original gender 2.0" and it's really pleasant is the thing.

[teddy-bear-d]

Some art to celebrate the occasion

And a rant below the cut bc peoples responses has me thinking \/

I don’t really get why this is such a big thing, I myself couldn’t care less if Dream decided he never wanted to face reveal. But I can’t help but be astonished at how far this reached.

Last night some of my non-mcyt enthusiast friends texted me freaking out about his face reveal, saying things like how they had never expected him to actually do it. And this surprised me bc they call me a Dream Stan, to contextualize this I have never watched a single one of his his streams and only a couple of his manhunts. I stick more to Bench trio and the old school mcyt’s.

This morning a TikTok-er, that I have been a fan of and very inspired by for around 4 years, posted a video saying they “wouldn’t say anything about his looks but would like comments.” And they liked comments making fun of Dream, talking about how he was just average and a white guy. Some of these comments were funny and tasteful but I found a lot to just be bordering on rude. Now this shocked me bc this TikTok-er always preaches against western beauty standards and not judging people for much past character (that being not their looks or interests). It also shocked me bc this TikTok-er had previously stated that they would never interact with the mcyt community bc 1 they had no interest in the content and 2 they were “racist and homophobic.” I understand where that reputation comes from and I know that if you stick to the outward sections of the community (like twitter) it can be very hostile so I never felt like those remarks were anything for me to think about. But now I’m stuck, why would someone who claims to want nothing to do with our community decide they had the right to make jokes against a big event in out community.

Certainly, I understand least why Dream has to be this perfect person. He makes Minecraft content for goodness sake. Yet people act like he must be top of his game 100% of the time and have some sort of god like beauty to him or else he’s worthless and he and his fans deserve death. Like what? Why can’t he be a normal guy??? And I get it, there are far too many plain white guys getting success just because of white male privilege. But I would argue that’s not why Dream is popular and successful. Sure it plays a factor, obviously, but he is as popular as he is bc people like the content he puts out. People act like he just sits there and looks pretty for views despite the fact that he hadn’t face revealed until yesterday. Like what? Honestly it feels like misogyny and I don’t know how to explain it. I’m sure given the time and energy I could write a whole essay on that. But basically he’s hated on bc he isn’t perfect, bc he isn’t a super model, he is undermined at every turn, and people discredit his accomplishments. As an AFAB feminine presenting person I can say that that is what misogyny feels and looks like a good portion of the time. So why is a white man getting this flavour of hate??? I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t tell you why he gets hate in the first place. But that’s my observation after being in the DSMP community for almost 3 years.

Idk if any of that was coherent or even had a point, but those are my thoughts and I felt I had to share them. (Honestly the Dream hate feels like misogyny thing has been brewing in my mind for at least a year now, or at least since that time he was forced to tell, was her name Kasey I don’t remember, if he was gay or straight. Which is a whole other world of gdhsjajsn that I could rant about)

[voices-not-echoes]

alright! i feel as though some of the responses to the tiktok jokes are 1) in incredibly bad faith and 2) a little bit misogynistic in and of themselves. i don’t think the interpretation they’re seeing of these jokes is made up; there’s a lot of people on the internet and often things shift towards the lowest common denominator of humor (which is often misogyny and gender essentialism). however looking at what happened to these jokes after they get popular instead of what made them popular in the first place feels kind of like a bad faith approach? there are actually jokes that are, from the beginning, misogynistic and gender essentialist, but when you group all of these jokes together it feels alienating to the very people you’re trying to approach who are, on the whole, younger women.

the three biggest examples of jokes that i think have gotten really twisted from outside observers are “girl math,” “girl dinner” and “boys like roman history.” i’ve seen them explained as, essentially, “girls are [stupid] bad at math,” “girls don’t eat” and “boys are [smart] interested in history and girls aren’t.” and i just don’t think that’s the source of the humor on any of the videos i’ve seen on my fyp?

the source of the humor on “girl math” is essentially making fun of how women are expected to perform womanhood, which costs a lot of money, and are simultaneously mocked for spending their money on things that aren’t “useful.” it’s true that not all women perform those gender expectations to the same degree, and that the internal policing and justification that comes along with this double standard is inherently patriarchal, but i don’t think that makes the joke inherently misogynistic?

the source of the humor on “girl dinner” Very Quickly evolved towards anorexia, but was pretty much gender neutral and harmless when it was first getting clout. it was essentially about the experience of scrounging through your fridge and cabinets to find enough random food that you can call it a meal when you don’t want to cook. although there might be some gender stuff tied into the fact that it was called girl dinner instead of something else, most of these jokes weren’t making fun of women or promoting eating disorders.

the source of the humor on the roman empire joke is (first of all not very funny to me) not that women are too dumb to be interested in the roman empire or history. its that so many men have interests in common (think football, ww1 and 2, the roman empire, classic rock) even if women are also interested in those things. although i think the originators of these jokes weren’t thinking this deeply about it, the reason men seem to have so many interests in common and women’s interests seem more diverse is because of the fragility of social masculinity; any space dominated by women is inherently feminine and emasculating.

the explaining things “for the girls” jokes? sexist! the “not liking ‘girl things’ means you hate other women” jokes? sexist! the “sapphic love is beautiful because it’s sexless” ideas? sexist! there’s a lot of sexism on the internet, but i just feel as though grouping things that aren’t inherently sexist with things that are makes it easier for people to dismiss you and more difficult to identify instances of sexism.

[abluehappyface]

For once in my life I'm actually NOT embarrassed about wearing makeup in public

[gimme-mor]

ACOTAR THINK PIECE: ELAIN ARCHERON, UNTOUCHABLE

*DISCLAIMER*

This will be a long post.

Please take the time to read this post in its entirety and truly reflect on the message I am trying to send before commenting. My goal is to use my background in Gender and Women’s Studies to deconstruct the comments I have seen on Tumblr and Twitter and bring awareness to the ACOTAR fandom.

The reason I am tagging “Elriel” in this post is to call attention to the arguments in the Elriel fandom that: weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions about Elain’s character and her relationship with Lucien; victimize Elain’s character in fandom discussions; and coddle Elain’s character, which limits fandom discussions about her narrative development and prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions in the same way that the fandom holds other characters accountable for their actions and inactions. It is for these reasons that I WILL NOT remove the “Elriel” tag from this post because all of the above points contribute to the toxic discourse surrounding Elain’s character.

I urge those who use these arguments to understand their implications, why they are problematic, regardless of intent, and reexamine their contributions to the ACOTAR fandom. I WILL NOT tolerate anyone who tries to twist my words and say I am attacking people and their personal shipping preferences. In fact, I AM CRITIQUING THE ARGUMENTS THEMSELVES NOT THE PEOPLE USING THE ARGUMENTS.

Also, I highly encourage the Elriel fandom to read this post because it addresses how the concept of choice as an argument enables arguments to exploit social justice and feminist languge in order to vilify Elucien shippers, among other problematic things.

Elain Archeron is one of the most polarizing characters in the ACOTAR fandom. Though opinions about Elain vary, arguments in the Elriel fandom cite society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters as the reason behind the hate, and this belief is used to provide an explanation as to why other characters in the series are favored over her. In the series, Elain is portrayed in a wholly positive light and this image carries over into the Elriel fandom, painting her character as a good and kind female who has been unfairly wronged and a victim of circumstances that were out of her control. When arguments in the Elriel fandom oppose other viewpoints in the fandom, they fall into one of three categories:

Category 1: Weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions

Maybe people who hate Elain are just jealous of her in a weird way similar to when someone hates the pretty, nice, and charming girl in school just because she is too perfect

Disliking Elain is misogynistic

What happened to feminism? What happened to women supporting women? What happened to she can say no? All of that disappears the second you force Elain to be with Lucien

Elain antis are misogynistic

All Eluciens are Elain antis

Antis claiming they’re feminists when in reality they hate on Elain and Feyre but love Nesta

Elain antis are such sore losers. Y’all were that bunch of people who could not get over being rejected from hanging out with the cool kids so y’all are projecting your hatred towards pretty people now to get validation

I don’t get how Elain’s love for gardening equals boring for some people. I’m sorry your misogyny finds traditionally feminine activities boring

Why are you attacking a female? What did Elain do? Where are your feminist voices?

The fandom is misogynistic towards Elain

If people loved Elain they would ship Elriel

If you hate Elain it says a lot about your feelings toward women

If you hate Elain because she has no “development” then you must hate Azriel because otherwise you’re misogynistic

Eluciens are turned off by the idea of a woman that has the autonomy to reject a man for the simple reason that it is her choice

Eluciens are all about feminism and “it’s HER choice” until it comes down to females not wanting a male

Eluciens don’t respect Elain’s feelings when they ship her with someone that was part of her trauma and makes her feel uncomfortable

The way some Elucien shippers completely disregard how uncomfortable Elain is around Lucien is so hilariously not funny. Prioritizing being mates over Elain’s feelings is just regressive

It’s hard as a fan of Elain to see someone ship her with a person who makes her physically uncomfortable to be around. Wouldn’t you want both characters to be happy to be around each other

Imagine if SJM saw all the awful things her “stans” had to say about Elain

It’s true that we know comparatively little about her, but is she really boring or do you just not value stereotypically feminine traits?

So y’all are just gonna tell me you prefer Elucien over Elriel? Even though Lucien treats Elain as if she’s something that belongs to him? The only reason he wants to be with her is because she’s his mate, he doesn’t respect her, doesn’t treat her as his equal, even though that’s what mates should be? He doesn’t bother to look past what’s on the outside to see her for who she is. And Elain is obviously repulsed by the idea that she should belong to anyone or have no choice in who she can be with. Azriel is her friend and the only person who sees her quiet strength. He has so much faith in her, in her abilities; he’s the one who kept her company when no one else did, he’s the only one who bothered to see her for more than her brokenness. You’re going to tell me you still prefer Elucien over Elriel?

The more I see Gwynriels that ship Elucien out of their hate for Elain, the less I can understand Elain stans that ship Elucien. Pls Elain has made it very clear that she doesn’t want Lucien, why would you ship her with him? Do you hate her too? Smh

The real question would be, if you care and understand Elain why would you ship her with Lucien (where she canonically shrinks when he is near)?

People crying over Helion and Lucien’s mom not getting to be with each other and her being forced into a relationship she didn’t want, but also ship Elucien? Just say you hate Elain

When Elain’s book is out, Gwyn stans will look like clowns and I will laugh because they set her up by shipping her with Azriel just because they hate Elain. Watch them play the victims now because Elriels are clapping back the hate they’ve sent towards Elain

As romantic as wanting girl who is visibly uncomfortable around a guy who caused her trauma to end up with the said guy. Guess their standards for romance are in hell

Category 2: Victimize Elain’s character

Gwynriels only want Gwyn with Azriel because they despise Elain

Gwyn stans and Gwynriels are Elain antis

No one in the books dislike Elain, so why are there so many people who do?

Elain hasn’t done anything wrong or questionable to warrant the hate she gets

Not having Elain’s POV makes it easy for people to be swayed a certain way about her character if you already don’t relate to her in some way

It’s been years since this series came out and we haven’t gotten a lick of an Elain POV, but people still hate her for what? We don’t know her thoughts, dreams, or aspirations

We haven’t even had Elain’s perspective yet and people are passing these judgments off on her

Elain antis who say she’s boring are just cruel when she has obvious symptoms of PTSD like Feyre and Nesta

Gwyn is one of the most overhyped characters and that’s only because most people hate Elain and they couldn’t wait to find a random girl to ship Azriel with

Nesta was abusive to her sisters but Elain (who has only ever been kind) is painted as the villain

From the text we know that Elain is the epitome of feminine stereotypes (gentle, gardening, baking, non confrontational for the most part). Yet people still call her boring or deny that she has any interesting character traits?

You can’t love Nesta and hate Elain

People hate Elain because of internalized misogyny and lack of taste. All the girl does is tend to her garden and mind her business and they treat her worse than Tamlin

Does Gwyn deserve all this support? Of course yes! She is amazing! But where’s that support when Elain was in the same situation as she? Where’s that support for her right now? Why do they idolize Gwyn for her interactions with Azriel and hate Elain for having any interaction with him?

It’s not even a ship war anymore, they just hate Elain

People hate Elain for no reason

Some of y’all don’t like feminine traits and it shows

We know less about Eris and Helion but people don’t call them boring. Why would rejecting femininity make Elain more interesting?

Elain has had a lot forced upon her

The main reason I believe most people love Gwyn so much is to get Azriel away from Elain. It’s not a secret that Elain has been a widely hated character for years so suddenly we get a new female who has a minimal amount of interactions with Azriel and BOOM. New ship that once again doesn’t make sense (just like Azriel x Emerie after ACOFAS)

Elain hasn’t done something so terrible for her to get this hate. At this point some of you are just being misogynistic and you don’t want to accept it. Don’t call yourselves feminists and then say bs like this, it’s embarrassing. She’s pretty and everyone agreed to hate on her

Just a personal feeling, but I feel like a lot of the Elain hate stems from internalized misogyny. That to be a strong female lead, you need to pick up a sword and fight. That to be strong, you need to adapt traditionally masculine traits

Elain is feminine. She is beautiful. She loves to bake and garden. She is docile, quiet, observant, and a people-pleaser. All traditionally feminine traits. Yet for some reason, she’s like the worst in these people’s eyes?

I think also maybe a lot of people can’t relate to her femininity? That her being so beautiful and quiet doesn’t allow for the people who dislike her not to self-insert? Most of the hate stems from people not wanting Elain to be with Azriel. It’s mean, but maybe the people who hate Elain literally just can’t self-insert if they have a story and that’s why they’re vehemently against it?

Poor Elain. The Cauldron dealt her a bad deal. Upon emerging as Fae, she is immediately declared by Lucien as his mate, never mind that she was already engaged to a prick. Her love life is not good

It blows my mind how they really think that they can compare all the shit that Elain gets with some dumb jokes about Gwyn on Twitter (and yes, the “hate” towards her started mostly because Elriels are clapping back, it was bound to happen)

I would think of it as anti-feminist with Elain and Lucien because she has consistently stated that she does not want him so if she was forced to embrace the bond that would be taking away her right to have a choice but with Az she feels comfortable around so if they were mates then Elain would be happy and feel safe which again should be the priority for women to feel safe in their relationships with anything and to not be forced into any type of situation aka the mating bond in this

Category 3: Coddle Elain’s character

Elain has value the way she is, in all her domestic girly glory. Not every character has to be badass

We don’t speak of Elain’s flaws frequently because everyone else already speaks badly of her, mainly in an unfair way

There is definitely something deeper going on with Elain but by no means will she ever be evil or any less feminine. That goes against everything we already know about her

It’s ok to critique Elain because she needs growth but y’all keep forgetting the shit her and her sisters went through

The last “bad” thing Elain did in ACOTAR was not help Feyre when they were impoverished and I’m tired of people acting like she’s a terrible character when it was their father’s responsibility. It happened 4 books ago and Feyre has forgiven both Nesta and Elain

Elain’s character and the evil Elain theory are a great example of the trend where people only consider female characters interesting if they reject femininity

We don’t know enough to hate Elain

Many people want Elain to turn evil (which in my opinion seems to come from a place of internalized misogyny)

However we don’t tend to talk about her faults, at least not publicly, as that has been, and still is, done to death, and I--personally, at least--find it much more fun to theorise about potentially interesting aspects of the overall plot, than dwell on negatives

And ultimately, I would be shocked if Elain has a more karmically-charged story than Nesta, considering that Elain’s “wrongs” are so much less severe and bad than Nesta’s, and Elain has already apologized for them (or paid the price in other ways, like through what Graysen did)

I guess I also think Elain has suffered and been punished enough. I hope her story is about finding hope in terrible situations, and learning to love her new life, and choosing her own path after everything that has been done to her. I don’t think she needs to be punished anymore or face any additional trauma

Also, why is she being judged on her decisions as a human at all? Fae are monsters to humans! They enslaved them for thousands of years, and the Wall was erected to keep them out

Like I’m sorry, but think Elain would want to leave her ONLY FAMILY AND FRIENDS for the Spring Court where she has no one because--oh look, lots of flowers!--is the craziest thing I have ever heard

Her sisters are in the Night Court. Her nephew is in the Night Court. Her closest friends (Nuala and Cerridwen) are in the Night Court. Her love interest is in the Night Court. Her extended family is in the Night Court. Her home is in the Night Court

SJM isn’t going to keep two sisters together and split up the third. Especially not keep Feyre and Nesta together and separate Elain. They were either all going to end up in separate places, or together. Not 2 here and 1 there

Compared to the other female characters in the series, Elain is the only character whose femalehood is at the center of conversations; this is because arguments in the Elriel fandom fixate on it when discussing her character. While Elain, Feyre, Nesta, and Mor are all representations of white womanhood and white beauty, Elain epitomizes the most fragile version of white womanhood. It’s easy to blame society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters when it comes to the discourse surrounding Elain’s character because it: falls in line with the fixation on Elain’s femalehood to silence opposing viewpoints; is a simplistic explanation that fails to tackle the underlying issues with Elain as a character, the same issues that are downplayed in-universe; absolves Elain of her wrongdoings; prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions within the series; and diminishes the impact Elain’s actions and inactions have on those around her. It’s not that Elain is hated in the fandom because she’s a traditional female character; it’s the fact that arguments in the Elriel fandom deflect a critical analysis of Elain’s character because she’s a traditional female character who embodies the ideal white woman in need of protection. White fans and white-aligned fans of color, especially white women, have a tendency to vehemently defend, gatekeep, and coddle white female characters in fandom; this makes it difficult for other fans to engage in critical discussions about these white female characters because they’re viewed as flawless and all around perfect characters despite evidence to the contrary. Since Elain is viewed positively by the other characters in the series, it has rendered her character untouchable to any perceived slight or criticism in fandom discussions because those negative opinions challenge what has been said about her character thus far. And as a result, her character has been placed on a pedestal and implicitly hailed as the epitome of white womanhood; and when she’s criticized, it’s seen as a direct attack against white womanhood. Arguments in the Elriel fandom: exploit feminist language and perpetuate white feminist tactics under the guise of defending Elain’s character; center Elain in conversations about female oppression in the ACOTAR world and uphold white feminist ideologies in their critique of ACOTAR’s patriarchal society; and use the fragile white woman narrative to victimize Elain in Lucien’s presence, playing into racial biases that are associated with white supremacy’s defense of white womanhood.

Feminism is a social movement that seeks to promote equality and equity to all genders, and feminists work toward eradicating gender disparities on a macro-level, in addition to challenging gender biases on a micro-level. As feminism became more mainstream, a flat and oversimplified version of feminism emerged: mainstream feminism. The mainstream feminist movement is meant to represent all women, but rarely does it center conversations around issues that concern most women. The problem with mainstream feminism is that it’s just a popularized version of white feminism. White feminism has relied extensively on an individualized understanding of women’s oppression, exclusively from the lens of privileged white women. White feminism only focuses on the oppression experienced by white, able-bodied, affluent, educated, cishet women; and it views gender as the key mode of privileged white women’s oppression, isolated from the privileges granted by their other social identities. White women can be and are oppressed under the patriarchy but only because they are women; their identity as women does not exempt them from the privileges granted by their whiteness. The term white feminist does not mean any feminist who is white, but refers to feminists who prioritize the concerns of privileged white women as though they are representative of all women. However, the term is not exclusive to white people. Because white feminism is so pervasive, people of other racial and ethnic backgrounds often buy into white feminism, believing that if they work hard enough, they may be able to reap its rewards.

Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism only recognizes the identity of being a woman, assumes that all women share common experiences of gender oppression, fails to address other social identities in relation to overlapping systems of oppression, and disregards privilege in relation to various social identities. Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism is palatable because it doesn’t seek to challenge the systems in place, instead its goal is to succeed within them. Essentially, mainstream feminism and white feminism are extensions of performative feminism. Performative feminism is a type of performative activism that’s used to describe feminist views that are surface level and solely for the benefit of one type of person. It’s a pretense which often has nothing to do with genuine activism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom normalize and promote performative feminism because the topic of feminism is only referenced when discussing Elain. This indicates that these arguments are engaging in disingenuous discourse to push a personal agenda within the ACOTAR fandom, and it becomes more apparent when they use white feminist tactics to shut down opposing viewpoints:

White feminists weaponize and exploit feminist language to silence the opinions of other women, especially when they’re called out for their problematic behaviors

White feminists use the phrase “Women supporting women” to defend other white feminists who exhibit problematic behaviors instead of holding them accountable 

White feminists weaponize phrases like “Women supporting women” and “You just hate women” to attack other women who disagree with them on any given topic

White feminists use phrases like “All women face challenges” and “Stop pitting women against each other” to sidestep conversations about privilege

White feminists divert conversations away from privilege and towards the Trauma Olympics to equate their struggles to the oppression of marginalized people 

White feminists skirt around the realities of other forms of oppression and discrimination, downplaying the experiences of marginalized people

White feminists diminish or ignore the ways in which gender oppression affects other marginalized people

White feminists paint those they harmed as aggressive, mean, or divisive when confronted with the ways they have harmed a marginalized group

White feminists deflect criticism by focusing on the anger or emotions being expressed rather than the issue that is being discussed, invalidating the concerns of marginalized people

White feminists speak over marginalized voices in an attempt to sound “woke”

White feminists get defensive and insist there’s no way they could be a part of the problem because of what they’ve done to help marginalized groups already 

White feminists say they don’t see color in an attempt to obscure racial issues that need to be addressed

White feminists center and victimize themselves in conversations about racism, which derails necessary conversations from taking place

White feminists who are white weaponize the intersectionality of their race and gender to avoid accountability

Feminism is not meant to be approached from an individualistic perspective nor is it only about addressing the experiences of privileged white women, it involves addressing the intersections of race, class, gender, sexuality, (dis)ability, and other social identities as well; and it involves addressing how these social identities relate to privilege. Moreover, feminism is not about women upholding complete loyalty to other women because of a shared gender identity, and to claim that it does implies that women should be held to different emotional standards than men. If men are able to dislike and criticize other individual men, real or fictional, without their characters being compromised, why aren’t women granted that same privilege?

It’s clear that SJM set up the ACOTAR world to mirror a patriarchal society, and that the imbalance of power between males and females stems from sexism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom analyze the ACOTAR world through a feminist lens to show how ACOTAR’s patriarchal society, to which the mating bond is innately tied, contributes to female oppression and limits their agency. When choice and free will are emphasized as part of Elain’s arc, they imply that Elain, through the mating bond, experiences female oppression under ACOTAR’s patriarchal society because of her identity as a female with that identity being the focal point of her oppression in the world. Elain is one of the most privileged characters in the ACOTAR world: she’s High Fae; she’s the sister of the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court, which gives her access to wealth and political influence because of that connection; she’s able-bodied; she was magically blessed by the Cauldron; and she lives in Velaris, a place that grants females autonomy and power because of the beliefs of Rhysand and Feyre. Arguments in the Elriel fandom trivialize female oppression in the ACOTAR world because they disregard the fact that Elain’s privileges prevent her from experiencing female oppression in the same way that other marginalized females in the world do. The mating bond being one such example because those around Elain are not forcing the bond on her, instead they’re allowing Elain to reach a decision about the bond for herself; a privilege that other marginalized females in the world probably wouldn’t have. Just because Elain has endured hardships in her life and is a female in a patriarchal society, they do not erase the privileges she holds within the ACOTAR world. The failure to include Elain’s privileges in discussions about Elain being a female in a patriarchal society feeds into white feminist ideologies because white feminism operates from a very narrow perspective; it doesn’t take other intersecting identities into account when it examines gender oppression, leaving no room for discussions about privilege (or lack thereof) in relation to those intersecting identities. When discussing oppression in hierarchical societies, it’s imperative that privilege is also included in the conversation because privilege and oppression are not mutually exclusive; they equally affect the ways in which people navigate those societies through their social identities.

Rather than attributing Elain’s uncomfortability to her new life as a Fae female or the mating bond itself and her trauma to the Cauldron, the King of Hybern, or Ianthe, they’re placed on Lucien to cast his character in a negative light. Moreover, fandom discussions portray Lucien as a possessive character to further emphasize Elain’s discomfort despite the inaccuracy of this characterization in canon. Arguments in the Elriel fandom play into racial biases when it comes to Lucien (a male character of color) because they mischaracterize his character in order to victimize Elain (a white female character), placing her character in the role of the white damsel in distress. In Western society, the concept of womanhood has been conceptualized from a Eurocentric perspective with femininity and feminine attributes favoring white women. It’s the idea that a certain type of femininity is only inherent to white women as they are seen as the embodiment of an ideal womanhood. White womanhood has been a symbol of innocence and purity, and white women have been viewed as fragile beings in need of protection. The reason white womanhood functions within white supremacy is because it’s the same idea that has motivated white men to kill and beat black and brown men. The so-called protection of white women has been used as a justification for the horrific violence committed by white men because black and brown men were stereotyped as aggressive and seen as a threat to the virtue of white women. The white damsel in distress trope considered white women as worthy of protection because of their perceived innocence and purity; women of color were not granted that same treatment because they did not fit into the ideal image of womanhood. Over the years, this trope became a means for white women to exercise limited power in a patriarchal society with white women weaponizing their status as the damsel much to the detriment of black and brown men. It’s through the white damsel in distress trope that white supremacy sustains its dominance in Western society. The misrepresentation of characters of color in fandom, the dismissal of their importance to the overall story, and using them as tools in arguments centered around white characters are the foundation of fandom racism; they’re examples of how racism moves silently in fandom spaces. Instead of examining their behavior and taking constructive criticism from fans of color, white fans will often double down on their bigotry and center their uncomfortability in the conversation when confronted with their complicity in fandom racism. White fans expect fans of color to swallow fandom racism in its many forms in order to not ruin the experience of fandom, dismissing the fact that racism is prevalent in nearly every aspect of society. This mentality ensures that no one is held accountable for the harm they caused and alienates fans of color in fandom spaces.

To reiterate what I mentioned in my first think piece: terms like “oppression”, “the right to choose”, “feminist”, “feminism”, “anti-feminist”, “anti-feminism”, “internalized misogyny”, “misogyny”, “misogynist”, “sexist”, “sexism”, “racist”, “racism”, “classist”, “classism”, “discrimination”, and “patriarchy” are all used in specific ways to draw attention to the plight of marginalized people and challenge those who deny the existence of systems of oppression. Yet these words and their meanings can be twisted to attack, exclude, and invalidate people with differing opinions on any given topic. When social justice and feminist terms are thrown around antagonistically and carelessly to push a personal agenda, it becomes clear that these terms are being used to engage in disingenuous discourse and pursue personal validation rather than being used out of any deep-seated conviction to dismantle systemic oppression. Being an ally, activist, or feminist is not an identity, it’s a practice. It requires: ongoing self-reflection; holding ourselves accountable; listening to marginalized people; educating ourselves; dismantling implicit biases; challenging those around us who are exhibiting problematic behaviors; and action behind our words.

It’s important to be aware of the language that is used within the fandom when defending or critiquing characters and ships. It’s also important to question how an argument is framed and why it’s framed the way that it is to critically examine the intent behind that argument: is it used as a tool to push a personal agenda that reinforces problematic behaviors, or is it used as an opportunity to share, learn, enlighten, and educate?

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Tagging: @spell-cleavers @bookofmirth @m0bulidae @ilya-boltagon