#i just like. when i was a child i didnt understand some choices my dad made.

[mejomonster]

My adult advice is if you do pursue something you're passionate in for a career (or really if you go about getting any job) that being treated like shit is not fair to you. Working over 40 hours for your dream job a week, working 60 hour crunch hours for months for your dream job, working with no health insurance for years, your dream job paying you a wage too low to live where you need to in order to do the job so you're financially getting worse, your job not hiring enough people because you care about the work too much to let it fail so they just overwork you and have you do 2-3 peoples jobs, your dream job does not protect you from work hazards and you feel you'll lose your job if you bring it up? You don't deserve any of that shit. You deserve better. Whether your job is some boring thing you don't care about, or your absolute favorite thing in the world that you care about deeply and find to be the meaning of your life, you deserve to be treated fairly. You deserve to not be overworked to the point of suicidal or sick, you deserve to be able to go to the doctor and take your kids to the doctor and know if your kid gets a long term illness you can get long term treatment, you deserve to not have the entire success of a company fall on your shoulders to do multiple jobs if you weren't the supervisor who decided Not to adequately hire, you deserve to be able to go pee when you need to, you deserve to have adequate protection from dangers to your life. Period. No matter what job. If you're being treated like shit, you don't deserve it. It's not a price you should be expected to endure, not even for your dream job. It's a fucked up situation that real people caused by deciding to treat their employees badly.

[bisexuallsokka]

ok hello i have found that i have no choice but to introduce you to my "divorced zukka but slightly to the left" headcanon for a modern au. basically, a pre-transitioned zuko and sokka have a one night stand at the end of their senior year of high school, and never speak again. roughly six years later, sokka is starting his job at an elementary school (not a classroom teacher, like technology or something) and meets izumi, who is so sweet and cute and i swear thats the face katara makes when she's annoyed, and one day happens to see her dad pick up and huh he looks and AWFUL lot like that person i went to high school with and OH GOD some quick math brings an idea to mind.

So sokka attempts to confront zuko who is very much NOPE DO NOT TALK TO ME, but finally breaks down after a series of shenanigans that def do not involve mild stalking. but only to admit that yes, izumi is sokka's biological daughter, and would like to leave their interactions at that, except sokka has NO interest in SIMPLY leaving it at that because!!! he has a kid!!! that he knew nothing about!!! for six years!!!

zuko very much would like to continue living his life without sokka bc being a single young parent is hard enough but he has a good routine and good relationship with his daughter and he doesnt need this, this, SPERM DONOR to just come in here and mess everything up! the guy hasnt been there the last six years, there is absolutely no reason for his to get involved now!! BUT sokka absolutely would have been there if zuko had only TOLD HIM, but how was ZUKO supposed to know that, and did zuko really think so little of him?? except it was a one night stand and zuko didnt even realize he was a boy until right after and he originally wasnt even planning to keep izumi, and HOW could he have just given up their CHILD without ever even telling sokka about her and given him a CHANCE to take her, and WE WERE JUST KIDS AND HE WAS SCARED-

its complicated. and involves a lot of trying not to shout around izumi, who is just over the moon that her dad and her favorite teacher know each other outside of school. and there's a lot of heartache over sokka having to come to terms with the fact that yeah, hes not izumis parent, and there's only so much he can do without stepping on zuko's toes, and he only wants what is best for izumi, and zuko seeing that maybe sokka really does want to be all in for izumi even if zuko thinks sokka really doesnt fully understand what that means, and would it be such a bad thing? not that either of them are going to admit this to the other.

so it starts with small things, like sokka being allowed to pay child support (which hes been begging to do since day one), and maybe it turns out that zukos new coworker is sokkas friend and they end up at the same party where they can really see each other interact with izumi, and a chunk zuko's summer child care plans for the summer fall apart so sokka offers to babysit since his summer job is remote which feels BIG but also reallyyyyy too convenient to reject,

and then something bigger happens where izumi gets hurt at school and while sokka is blaming himself he's also panicking bc the hospital wont let him stay with her bc hes not an emergency contact so he steels himself and later tells zuko he wants to make his relationship to izumi legal. hes not going to have a custody fight, he would never ask for that, but he wants his name on her birth certificate and wants his name on her list of emergency contacts, and its the first time zuko understand that sokka 100% knows what he's getting into here and is willing to be in this 100%.

So maybe sokka moves into this "uncle sokka" role, because zuko still refuses to tell izumi that sokka is her other dad, and yeah that hurts, but sokka would rather have part of izumi's life if he can't have all of it. and sokka gets a better look inside their lives and discovers that its HARD being a young single parent, why would zuko have risked everything he worked for to mix in some guy he barely knew who might decide that zuko wasn't good enough and take izumi away? and zuko sees the pain sokka has from missing out on so many key moments of izumi's young life, and the more sokka is proving himself as a second parent, the more guilty zuko feels. they go through some shit together and its more and more evident that sokka doesnt just want to be that fun uncle, but he's ready more than willing to be a PARENT even when it means being the bad guy.

and maybe they start falling for each other a little, because they are starting to have this LIFE together and its not just about izumi anymore its the way zuko rolls his eyes and gets the new fancy ice pack out of the freezer when a limping sokka brings izumi back from the park, and its the way sokka makes zuko genuinely laugh after a long day at work, and its like their lives are getting fully intertwined-

except that they arent. and they couldn't. because if sokka decides its too much. because if zukos good favor runs out. if it didnt work out between them. they couldnt do that to izumi. what they have is good, its fine, (even if its not enough) they dont want to risk anything that could disrupt izumi's life. shes the priority. and sure, she's already asking questions about the two of them, but what if they don't work right in a real relationship? the way things are now, either of them could back out, and everyone would eventually be ok. maybe. except every time they think about the possibility, it seems like they are already too intertwined, and either of them trying to untangle would just be a disaster, so imagine if they HAD to untangle, and-

so they just end up in an awkward stage of sad pining. because theres no way it would actually work out. because it would hurt all of them. and their life has never been better, but it's never hurt this much either.

ok so i didnt realize i could still write this long in an ask, but essentially i am not a masochist like you, and they do figure it out in the end. this could happen a number of ways, such as izumi just announcing that yeah this is my dad and his boyfriend, or zukka doing the "pining make outs that we never talk about until one of us snaps and we decide to let ourselves be fucking happy", or a very funny "we both snap and bone for one wonderful night to get it out of our system and then we dont talk about it" which leads to an accidental second baby where sokka and zuko both laugh and say whelp it must be fate lets do this the right way this time.

the most important thing is that they both forget to tell izumi that sokka is her biological father, so teenage izumi is very shocked and upset that shes just had to learn this from something totally mundane like applying for a passport, and sokka and zuko do the spider man finger pointing of "i thought you told her" "no, you were supposed to tell her" "did we really not tell her?" and its absolutely disgusting how cute they are

thanks for coming to my tedtalk

i love every single thing about this! sokka wanting to be a part of izumi's life and help zuko out....zuko being reluctant to accept but eventually seeing how sokka is proving himself.....the limbo period where they are both afraid it could end any moment....TOO GOOD! i love every single option for how they could get together for real like this is my favorite take on modern au divorced zukka by far!!!! <3 <3

[rzyraffek]

Let’s say Micheal wanted a child, can you write something where Michaels wife/girlfriend gets pregnant with his child?

Love your writing btw!

Micheal Myers with Pregnant s/o

guy gets overprotective asf, like if you thought that he was protective before oh boi check him out now

Guy has no clue how to family

Like he will try to be good father figure for his future kid but like-Micheal didnt really have good parents either :/ he has no idea how "normal" parenting should look like

But he understands one thing-He loves his gf and he will try to lisen her out, mostly about her problems or needs. Gurl you crave icecream at 3am? watch him rob gas station for you babe B). You're favorite necklece broke? See him bring litteraly almost the same one next day

Talk to him some stuff isn't so obvious for him, especially family stuff, better to be straight forward and just tell him what you need and how you feel

In late pregnancy stage he will litteraly be like "hold up no way im leting you do all this stuff you better rest queen" or something idk, but for real he would get a little stressed when the baby starts to kick. Kinda creeps him out tbh

If Myers and S/o will work hard on comunication and undestanding each other i think kid will be fine (as fine as kid might be with serial killer dad ofc)

oh and if its like suprise pregnancy, when you tell him he will just freeze for good minute and leave. NOT FOVERER DON'T WORRY my man just needs to go outside to rethink his life choices

He seems like guy who doesn't really want kids but if his gf really wants some lil gremlins in house ig he will think about it

just dont make him babysit while you at work cuz he will fail miserably

(also its gf, not wife cuz for legal reasons he can't really get married cuz hes litteral serial killer :0 but they litteraly act like old couple most of time) Also shout out to google translator for fixing like 298491041grammar issues I made in this post

[eluvixns]

no one asked for it but since i am trapped beneath a cat who is biting me every time i try to end this cuddle session here is some haylin lore

- comes from a pirate hyur mother and an elezen gridanian father

- has an older brother that got smoked with their father during the calamity when he was fighting on the frontlines

- has no contact with ma bc ma abandoned them

- came to gridania hoping to find some sort of life and home but instead found ghosts and ruin

- would never have gone down the path of adventurer if she wasnt so in need of a few bucks

- only went with yda and paps and to the waking sands bc she needed that cash money your girl was BROKE

- stayed with the scions bc of minf and her understanding of the echo

- got super attached to alphie bc she missed the sibling feeling and only continued to stay for him

- and bc she thought thancred was tasty

- and bc where else would she fucking go at this point

- DEFINITELY had a few choice words for lahabrea when the big reveal happened and definitely told alphie if he strayed too far from her side she would drag him around by his ankles

- definitely wanted g'raha during the crystal tower quests and definitely cried a bit when they were over

- canonly bothers urianger when she's bored and he knows this but humours her anyway bc he eventually peaks her curiosity and he knows this dumb bitch cant resist acting on it so now he can infodump all he wants and shes just chin in hands the whole time bc shes basically learning history tea

- definitely has not recovered from the vault and the crippling guilt

- definitely cornered hancock when he first showed up and told him if he fucks with tataru shes gonna serve his balls on a kebab skewer seasoned and fried to him

- the scions have definitely come to her room to go out on jobs and she's definitely opened the door butt ass naked. now they just call over link pearl ( and when she doesnt answer they send y'shtola )

- has thought about how she'd kick the asses of every scion except y'shtola bc even she knows better

- tried to be a white mage like dad and it didnt fit. tried to be a dragoon like brother but it didnt fit. tried to be a warrior to try and connect with her mother but it didnt fit. became a dark knight when the anger she held after the vault kicked in. became a reaper when she figured out being a real warrior of darkness has more appeal than being the golden child of a god who was never there

- the only reason she isnt a mercenary for hire for the highest bidder is bc she loves the scions too much and alphie is her north star

- that being said if she ever lost him or g'raha or thancred or estinien she'd probably kill the source herself bc whats the point in living in it if they're not there any more?

- is v adventurous though like DO NOT ENTER signs are like moth to flame for her shes just too curious she HAS to know

- flirting with nero so he gets uncomfortable and weirded out is her favourite hobby

- she does the same to estinien and this is my reasoning as to why he took so long to join the scions it it wasnt the commitment issues it was fucking haylin lurking in the shadows ready to tell him he holds his rod well

- is alisaie's number one fan she would kill for this kid she would fight anyone

- insists g'raha goes with her everywhere they're joined at the hip she wants him bad

- her crush on thancred turned into 'this is my partner in crime my best friend my brother in arms'

- urianger is her person though

- worships the ground y'shtola walks on like her word is law

- scar across her nose is from wandering too far into the forests alone as a kid and getting smacked by the beasties in there before her brother came to the rescue

- has a multitude of scars from various things and her story for each one is never the truth ( it's easier and better that way )

- you can bet ur ass she tried to see where things would go with aymeric but stopped when she realised he really is that kind and noble and she didnt want to ruin that bc she is utterly convinced she's not worth a damn thing

- which is probably why she throws herself into harms way so willingly. not just for the scions, or the people, or the weak. but bc she thinks she deserves whatever pain is coming

- and because she KNOWS she can take it. she can withstand it

- she's just too stubborn to not stand up again after it

[dear-diary-mood-apathetic]

brb im fucking bawling

life story/rambling under cut

I've been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting lately. A lot of revisiting things Id have been much happier to leave in the past.

I always hated hearing how one day it would get better. Because I knew that it wouldnt be that easy. I knew I wouldnt just wake up one day and feel fine. And I think more than anything, I was scared that being okay meant losing the most integral part of my child/teen self: my rage.

I was an emotional kid growing up. I'd cry at everything and anything and all I ever wanted was for everyone to be happy. It was a burden I undertook personally at far too young of an age. Be it the eggshells I took my first steps on or the guilt I'd never let go of simply for the inconvenience of being born a baby. I saw things a child shouldnt have to see and handled emotions and situations far too grown up for a second grader. When I started to understand this, thats when I started to get angry.

I knew that the way I was treated wasnt okay, and by the time I would turn ten I'd gotten violent. I escaped into the comfort of horror media and would often find myself locked away in my dark bedroom on my phone for hours at a time scouring the corners of the internet for the next disturbing thing I could find. But I was just a kid. And that would send me down a multi-year psychotic episode that left me feeling isolated and terrified. And even more angry. I started getting into fights whenever the opportunity arose outside of the house. I wasnt even in middle school yet, but I was filled with blind, white hot rage already.

Once I made it to middle school though, some of the anger had festered into a chronic depression that felt like emotional rot. I developed a lot of awful habits and worsened a few Id picked up prior. I hurt a lot of people in my spiral downward and I still regret many of those things to this day. I was hurting and determined to make other people hurt too. But it only felt fair to me at the time; if I have to go home to my dads cruelty every single day, what did it matter who I hurt? They were supposed to feel bad for me.

It wouldn't be until about 2020 that things started to finally look up. I got my first job against my dads will, and this would be the decision that changed my entire life. I finally started to understand that I wasn't bound by my dads judgement. I met the people who would let me move into their apartment after a shitty roommate situation. And most importantly I met my boyfriend.

I went through a few relationships and there were a few roadblocks before it finally worked out for us to get together. Including my dads impulse choice to move himself, me, and my pregnant stepmother to South Carolina with no actual shelter built except a camper for them and a tent for me in July of '22. But after being friends for about a year and a half, we finally started dating in August. That November, he and one of our then mutual friends made an 8+ hour drive to pick me up on my eighteenth birthday. I turned 18 on November 6th and they started driving on the fifth. If it werent for them I'd still be stuck in South Carolina!

I really think I have my boyfriend to thank for who I am today. When we met I was sixteen and didnt plan on making it to eighteen. I dont think I wouldve without him. Hes been the most supportive and patient person as I've worked to heal a lot of wounds he didn't cause. Ive only been able to do the reflection and self help I needed because of him. I've been allowing myself to let go of the anger Ive defined myself with for so long and its scary. But I think Im going to like the gentler version of myself. The version he deserves.

Because for once in my life I feel like I'm safe. The eggshells are gone. A quiet house doesn't mean tension and a loud one no longer means violence. I can breathe and rest for the first time in a long time. I slept with an eye open for a while, but I think its finally safe to close them both.

[writingsofwesteros]

IMO Rhaenyra didnt want to be queen, she just didn’t want Alicent to “take yet another thing away from her”

I think it started as more of “my Dad finally thinks I’m important enough in his life to trust me with this responsibility” and she liked it. I’m guessing Rhaenyra was probably ignored by her father (similarly to how her future siblings will be), the only difference being that her mother was a more positive presence in her life as compared to how Alicent (and more importantly Otto) was with her siblings. She’s spent her entire life seeing her father pump her mother full of heirs not caring about how it affected her physical and mental health, which probably made her feel like “My father would rather kill my mother than recognize me as his child.” After her mother dies, her father finally “sees” her (at least that’s what she thinks is happening, not that Viserys made this move to spite Daemon).

But then, he immediately goes and marries her best friend (and gay crush, let’s be real here), and they have a son very very quickly and she feels like she is going to slip back into obscurity. She feels like Alicent got close to her under false pretenses, just using her. Then Alicent is a more senior royal than her, has a son, and pretty much immediately behind wielding her power over Rhaenyra, and this makes Rhaenyra mad.

This is coupled with the fact that we never really see Viserys take initiative to develop her and prepare her to lead. It seemed like nobody had the “expectations and responsibilities” talk with her, they just expected her to know these things. But when you grow up as a spoiled princess with nobody questioning or admonishing this behavior or punishing her for it, you don’t see it as wrong.

So now, she sees Alicents son, the same Alicent who she feels like used her and [as everyone around her keeps telling her] is trying to replace her with him. She probably assumes that Alicent is actively trying to get Viserys to replace her. This makes her REAL mad. Now she just wants the throne so she can wield it over Alicent, like she feels Alicent is doing with her.

Of course we see at the start, Alicent is not trying to do this. All Alicent wants is to see that none of this was her choice, that she never wanted it, that she’s miserable. But, again, when you grow up in extreme privilege you don’t think about things from other peoples perspectives.

If they actually just HAD A (mature) CONVERSATION, none of this would have happened in my opinion. Rhaenyra would understand that Alicent is not trying to steal her position. Alicent would know that Rhaenyra doesn’t hate her, and doesn’t want to kill her children. And if Rhaenyra actually wanted the throne for the right reasons (aka not out of spite), I can pretty much promise that Alicent would have used her position to encourage Viserys to engage in some “professional development.” And Alicent could have actually had some emotional support for the position that she was in (ie being used as a brood mare by a living corpse), which would have meant the world to Alicent.

I agree!

I don't want to place it all on rhaenyra....but I think it says a lot about her that she believes Alicent had a choice or was actively in a seductive role of this

[splendontcore]

Disclaimer: this was originally to be a little animatic...but it would be kind of complicated because of the music, the illustrations and because original script was 24 pages long, so i decided to make a fanfic instead. Sorry for any misspelling/grammar error, im still learning!

Special delivery!

It's sunday at Happy Tree Town. June 18th, 2006, fathers day! The low population of this insignificant place with such impressive green architecture was surely celebrating this important date. Who wouldn't be grateful for their father's existence? They didnt just give permissions when mom's doesn't want to, but also carrying you in the good path. Guiding every instance of your life and helping you to take good desicions...However, its a whole spectrum. Theres good dads, for example Petunia's dad, Mr. Kirainai; a hardworking business man who always mind about his family and cares that much about her only daughter that he even created a spot for her in the company which she is going to run someday, what a great heart he has! A dad would do anything for their children after all! But there's also bad dads, Tommy's dad could nail the subjet really well; Mr. Graff... he's at jail, some people especulate the reason was some domestic disputee that ended up with Tommy's older sister taking care of what was left alive...that's awful. And then, there are just dad's...neither good or bad. Most of the town old folks would fit in this term. Perfection doesn't exist, everyone is quite aware of that, but the closest thing to that its the delicious smell that Happy Tree Bakery left in the town's air. It was run by a sweet southern lady and her husband, who were expecting a baby boy, just called Ma and Pop by the town folks. Time passed and at the time this sweet moment happened, it was just the husband who was in charge.

Francis Cooper and their squirrel pet Splendont, named after the Splendid's comic character and not the infamous antihero in disguise obviously, walked to the big ol empty tree stump reused as small bakery, greeted by the smell of freshly baked pastries and the sound of cheerful customers.

-Pop, happy Father's Day! I'd like to place an order for some special donuts.

Francis said, with a gentle smile.

-Thank you, Franny honey! What can I get for you today?

Francis glances at the menu board, pondering their choices.

-I'll have a box of honey drizzled donuts, a box of bacon and syrup donuts, and a box of jelly-filled donuts.

Pop starts preparing the donuts, skillfully drizzling honey, sprinkling bacon bits, and filling the donuts with jelly.

Francis gets s bit curious, wasnt today an important day to remember the importance of dad in their life? Why he was working in his normal schedule insted of spending time bonding with this only child?

-Pop, why are you working on Father's Day? Don't you want to spend time with your son?

Pop left escape a small sigh and keep working in the order as he speaks.

-Well, you see, Franny, my deceased wife always encouraged hard work. She believed that putting love and dedication into what we do is important. So, in her honor, I continue to bake and serve delicious treats on special days like this.

Franci's eyes widen with understanding and admiration.

-That's really admirable, Pop. Your wife's values live on through your dedication. And I'm sure your baby son appreciates it too.

-Thank you, Flaky. At the end of the day, I'll have some quality time with my son. It's all about finding a balance.

Francis smiles, feeling a sense of warmth and connection. Then they tooks their wallet and took some money.

-Here's the payment, Pop. I hope these donuts bring joy to whose receive them.

Pop took the money while smiling back at the them.

-Thank you, Franny. I'm sure they'll love them.

Francis bids farewell to Pop, carrying the boxes of donuts, ready to surprise the fathers in their life.

Then they walks along the quiet streets, a determined look on their face can be seen on. Splendont scampers alongside them.

-So, Flaky, why did you get so many boxes of donuts? Last time I checked, you only have one dad.

Splendont said, while raising one of his stupid squirrel eyebrows.

-Well, Splendont, these boxes aren't just for my dad. They're for the significant men in my life who have been like fathers to me.

Splendont looks intrigued, his curiosity piqued.

-Ah, I see. Pray, do tell, who are these lucky recipients?

Francis stopped for a moment, trying to explain Splendont the significant bonds they has.

-First, there's Stephen's dad. You know...when we were toddlers, his parents used to take care of me. They were like second parents to me when my own dad was still grieving for my mom's loss. Then there's Mr. Johnson, my history teacher. He moved next to my house a few years ago. His own children don't visit him, so my presence helps fill that void in his life. He's been like a father figure to me.

-Oh, the retired soldier with the thousand miles stare? Interesting. And anyone else?

Franci's gaze becomes more solemn as they speaks.

-Lastly, there's my real dad. Despite his struggles with drug problems, I still care for him and hope that someday he can overcome them and be like he used to be in my childhood. He may not be a perfect dad, but he's still my dad.

Splendont's eyes soften as he takes in Flaky's words. He lefts his sarcastic comments behind to speak his mind.

-I didn't realize how many people hold a special place in your heart, kiddo. That's quite remarkable.

Francis nods as they resume their walk.

-They may not be related to me by blood, but they have made a significant impact on my life. And I want to show my appreciation for them.

Francis stops in front of Stephen's house.

-Oh, and I also wanted to send something to my yayo in Spain, but I already sent him a postcard a few weeks ago, I hope he receives it.

Francis knocks on Stephen's door, ready to give the gratitude filled boxes. They stands at the doorstep, holding the box of donuts, as Sofia, Stephen's older sister, opens the door. Sofia rolls her eyes at the sight of Francis.

-Ah, genial, es otro de los amigos inadaptados de Stephen. Stephen, your little buddy is here!

Sofia walks away, heading to the dining room where the family is gathered for the Father's Day celebration. The aroma of Chilean cuisine fills the air.

Francis shifts uncomfortably, feeling a bit out of place, maybe they should planned this to happen earlier. Stephen appears at the doorway, intrigued by Franci's unexpected arrival.

-Hey, Flaky. What's in the box?

Stephen said while raising an eyebrow.

Franci's eyes light up, realizing Stephen is curious about the box. They holds it out to him with a gentle smile.

-Its just some jelly filled donuts, Sniffles, just the onesthat your dad likes. It's Father's Day, and I wanted to give something special to the significant men in my life. This one is for your dad.

Stephen takes the box, a mix of surprise and appreciation crossing his face.

-Wow, Flaky, that's really thoughtful of you. Thank you. You know that you are part of this family too and we all care for you.I'm sure he'll appreciate the gesture, Flaky. He's in the dining room celebrating with the family. Mom made completos, his favorite food. Do you remember them, right?

Francis nods as they recall the numerous timrs they used to eat those overstuffed hot dogs...so delicious.

-Yeah, lous coumpletous, moi gueno...

Stephen's laughs softly about their butchered pronunciation. At least they tries.

-Well, I have more boxes to give this day. Keep celebrating. See ya tommorow!

Francis turns to leave, knowing that their gesture of appreciation will be appreciated by Stephens' dad and the rest of the family.

Francis and Splendont walk side by side, heading towards Mr. Johnson's house. Franci's flipphone rings, and they takes it out to see that it's thei friend, Nathniel, calling.

-Oh, it's Nutty! I wonder what he wants.

Splendont smirks mischievously, nudging Francis playfully.

-Ah, that kid. I bet he's just bored and wants someone to entertain him. Better pick up, Francis.

Francis gives Splendont a playful glare before answering the call.

-Hey, Nutty! What's up?

Nathniel was just laying on his candy cane themed bed. The room was filled with candy envelopes as usual, just the normal panoram in his house.

-Hey, Flaky. I'm just feeling kind of bored, and Sniffles is busy. Thought you might be free to hang out or something.

Francis glances at Splendont, then to the boxes in their hands, feeling a bit torn.

-Oh, Nutty, I wish I could hang out, but I'm actually on my way to Mr. Johnson's house right now. We have some things to discuss.

Nathniel would be lying if he said he wasnt disappointed by the answer, but there's nothing he could do to convince them so he just tried to keep up the conversation.

-Oh, no worries, Flaky. I...I understand. What's going on with Mr. Johnson, anyways?

-Well, it's Father's Day, and I wanted to give him something special to show my appreciation. I thought we could have a little chat too so he doesnt spend this day alone.

Fathers day? Is today? How he could it forget? Oh...because his parents dont live with him, duh. At the time this call was ocurring, his both parents where at his dad's home country, Germany, they had a full schedule of conferences to give.

-Ah, got it. Father's Day. That makes sense. I hope he appreciates the gesture.

-I'm sure he will, Nutty. He's been like a father figure to me. And hey, speaking of Father's Day, I remember you mentioning something about sending a gift to your dad in Germany.

He did? OH, YES! He didnt forget it at all!

-Oh, yeah. I sent him some delicious box filled with fancy chocolates, the best of the best. I even get two boxes for myself! But, you know, I couldn't help but worry about them getting lost in the mail or, even worse, the postman eating them all! They are so sneaky, ugh!

Francis chuckles at Nathniel's humorous concerns.

-Nutty, I highly doubt the postman would eat your chocolates. I'm sure they'll arrive safely, and your dad will be thrilled to receive them.

-You're right, Flaky. I'm just being silly. Thanks for calming my nerves.

-No problem, Nutty. Don't worry too much. Enjoy the rest of the day yourself! I'm already at Mr Johnson's house so I guess have to hung up...Take care of yourself, bye!

-Thanks, Flaky. Have a great time with Mr. Johnson.

Francis reaches Mr. Johnson's front door, ghey ends the call and looks at Mr. Johnson's house, ready to celebrate Father's Day with their caring teacher.

Mr. Johnson was sitting on a cozy armchair, engrossed in embroidering a blanket while his favorite vinyl plays softly in the background. He's lost in his thoughts, trying not to dwell on the significance of the date - Father's Day. Giving a stare to some of his frame photos you could tell he used to have a family of his own. Wife, kids and even a cute puppy. Everything was gone. His struggle with PSTD left him living alone at his old age. He havent heard of any of his children since he got divorcied some decades ago. The only thing he hopes it that at least they dont commit the same error as him to join at the militia. The sound of the doorbell breaks the silence, and Mr. Johnson's face lights up with hope. He quickly puts aside his embroidery and rushes to the door, anticipation in his eyes. Francis stands outside, holding the box of honey drizzled donuts at top. They smiles warmly when Mr. Johnson opens the door.

-Cooper! What a pleasant surprise...I thought it might be one of my children visiting on this special day.

He said the last sentence with a bit of disappointment.

Francis tries to be upbeat and grins at him.

-Well, Mr. Johnson, I'm here to celebrate Father's Day with you! I brought these honey drizzled donuts as a small token of appreciation.

Mr. Johnson's eyes well up with emotion, touched by Franci's thoughtfulness.

-Cooper, you have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you for considering me an important person in your life.

Mr. Johnson's gets his eyes tear filled by the nice gesture of his best worst student. At least someone stills seeing him as an important person in their life.

-You've been more than just a teacher to me, Mr. Johnson. You've been a guiding figure and someone I can always count on. I wanted to show my gratitude on this special day.

They share a heartwarming moment, both feeling the connection between them, just like as a father with their child.

-Thank you, Francis Cooper. This is truly touching. Come on in, let's celebrate together.

They step inside, and Mr. Johnson leads Francis to the cozy living room. They sit down, enjoying the sweet treats and engaging in heartfelt conversation. The atmosphere is filled with warmth and gratitude. Mr Johnson resumes his embroidery session, now with the help of some extra hands to spent the rest of the day.

--------

Francis and Splendont walk back home after some hours, there's just one box left in Franci's hands. Splendont can't resist making a sarcastic comment, as usual.

-Wow, Flaky, I never thought I'd see the day you would spend time inside of that crazy old man house. What are you going to do tomorrow? Cut his grass and make his dinner?

-Oh, please. You're just jealous you didn't get to enjoy those delicious donuts.

They continue their walk, bantering back and forth, their friendship stronger than ever.

As they arrived the Cooper's residence, Francis and Splendont enter the living room, carrying the last box of donuts. But happens that Franci's dad is already passed out on the couch, surrounded by empty bottles and used needles.

-Looks like my dad beat us to it, as usual.

Splendont hops off Flaky's shoulder, transforming into his humanoid form. He looks at Francis with a mixture of amusement and sympathy.

-Well, Flaky, can't say I'm surprised. You should've expected this outcome.

-I guess you're right, Splendont. It's the usual scene around here...

Francis places the box of donuts on a small table near the couch. They leans down and gently kisses their dad's forehead, despite his unconscious state.

-Happy Father's Day, Dad.

They takes two donuts from the box, one for themself and one for Splendont.

-At least I can still honor the important men in my life, even if they're not perfect.

Splendont smirks and takes a bite of his donut, savoring the sweetness.

-These bacon donuts are way too much...but terribley fantastic Thanks, I guess.

Francis nods, content with the simple gesture of celebrating Father's Day in their own way. They walks towards their room, munching on their donut, with Splendont following close behind. Then they both enter, closing the door behind them. They takes a seat on their matress, feeling a sense of fulfillment. Frqncis gazes at the donut in their hand, reflecting on the day and the men who have shaped their life. They takes another bite, savoring the flavor, grateful for the opportunity to thank them.

[felicitywrites]

i know jimins wife in fragments is lovely…but does she know how jimin truely feels about oc? i cant help but think that no matter how nice and understanding i was, if i found out my SO was ready to call off our wedding because he still loves his ex who he has a child with and therefore sees all the time….i couldnt go through with the relationship. 🤷‍♀️

obviously jimin loves her since they were happy and had kids too, and obviously him and yn were too different to ever reconcile (eg. he wanted to settle with a family and she didnt believe in marriage cos of her parents) but since everyone around them knew yn was his “great love” i cant imagine that was easy to deal with. irl lots of people dont marry their great love but usually that person isnt in their life anymore which means they can learn to move on…whereas jimin and yn literally raise a child together. 💀

hello. i took some time off but here i am haha anyways, i can see where you're coming from :) it's a valid point! even i would find it difficult to move past a previous relationship esp with someone that i truly loved despite everything that happened between us, and to imagine raising a literal child together.. oh that would be the end of me lol but in jimin and oc's case, well... there are factors we can consider to be able to understand how they made it work (including lucia the wife as well)

prior to jimin meeting lucia, he and yn hadn't been actually living or close together while jiho was growing up. yn was with her mom, and the mom was the one in full communication with jimin since they'd been in contact even before yn found out everything. technically they raised him, but apart, they stayed friends and yes they still had feelings there but jiho became their topmost priority.

jimin met lucia at a time when fifteen years had passed by, which meant that even if he did think about asking yn out again, a huge part of him knew that could potentially damage the bond they've developed as co-parents, and all he cared about was yn's mental and emotional state. she was vulnerable and was healing for a long time. and lucia, i wanted to write a drabble that's in her pov but decided not to, but i'd be honest, ofc there was a little bit of jealousy and A LOT OF curiosity, but jimin was honest with her since the beginning. he told her practically everything when they began dating, that's because he wanted to know if she'd push through if he told her, which she did apparently.

lucia's ability to feel completely aware and still be alright with yn being her husband's great love was something yn had unintentionally influenced her to. when they met, lucia figured out right then and there why jimin was in love with her, and why he cared for her, she didn't feel inferior - thanks to yn's emotional intelligence lol she did everything she could to stay in her place, as jiho's mother and that's it. it's not easy to do for anyone really, but it's a matter of choice, not by feeling but by what is right. after all, jimin became the man he had dreamed of, a husband and a father, a good one at that.

one example i can give in terms of this great love scenario is my own parents :D my late mom's my dad's great love, and i learned about that years after her death, when i started noticing how my dad couldn't stay committed in his relationships without having to remember how my mom was like when she was alive and around him. i've had stepmoms over a decade and until now, he'd talk to us and tell us how he often wished she was still there to cook his favorite dish, how the sound of her laughter filled him inside. while he stayed loyal and in love with my stepmom now, who's the longest one to be in my dad's arms lol, i can still see the way his eyes would sparkle when we're remembering my mom during conversations.

in conclusion, marrying or being in a relationship with someone who still have lingering feelings for another person, is a choice. it's not for everyone and that's okay! it's just that people love in different ways, and even loving is a choice in itself. staying in love is, i mean. lucia chose that for herself, and she didn't have anything to be regretful of.

hope everything makes sense! :)

[chemblrish]

hi i dont think you'll read this and answer cause i didnt saw any answers on asks but i really want to ask something to you, also sorry here is may be mistakes english is not my first language, and for very long ask lol

my dream is to be a chemist, when i was a child i was really surprised and excited when i discovered that my dad was working in lab with oil, he is a chemist too. I thought as a joke that i want to follow his steps and be a chemist too. But i grew up, so this is not joke anymore. I hope my father will proud of me :D i love chemistry SO MUCH

What i wanted to ask,

1. i have really bad phobia of planets, galaxy, etc. astrophobia in short. Was you learning about astronomy in lessons? Is there any photos of planets?

2. Who are you studying? Just curious :]

3. Do you need to know biology and physics good?, i am not lover of these sciences, i can be tho

4. Is it hard? Want to connect profession with pharmaceutica(idk how to spell), i heard pharma is hardcore

Hi there! No worries, I answer everything that shows up in my inbox + English isn't my first language either :)

It's great that your dad is a chemist, it seems you're going to get lots of support, so that's definitely something to cherish and appreciate! I'm sure he'll be proud of you. Whenever somebody pops up in my notifications saying they want to study chemistry too, I get very happy, and I'm not even a mom, so I can only imagine how excited scientist parents get when their children want to pursue science too haha.

I didn't study any astronomy at all! I did have to pass a physics course but there was zero astronomy there, save for a picture of Earth during a lecture on gravity.

I'm afraid I don't understand this one, sorry! :(

Biology - no, given that you pick "pure" chemistry. I think it's a common misconception that biology and chemistry are very similar but that's not entirely true. Biologists do need to know some chemistry, chemists don't necessarily need biology. You say you're interested in pharmacy though, so something like medicinal chemistry or biochemistry might be a better choice for you. In that case - yes, there will be quite a lot of biology. I study "just" chemistry, so I can't tell you much about these other majors, but my uni offers a medchem program and I know they have to take courses like general biology, human physiology, microbiology, immunology, molecular biology, cell chemistry, and many more. Physics - well, there is some physics in chemistry (in a way, chemistry is a branch of physics... I think a lot of the time chemistry is just wet physics). Chemists are mostly interested in thermodynamics, some quantum physics and modern physics in general, but some aspects of the other branches pop up here and there occasionally too. Besides, speaking from experience, physics should be learnt in layers: classical mechanics, thermodynamics, electromagnetism, then modern physics. Otherwise, it can get hard to understand everything properly. Don't be intimidated though. I think if you're determined and disciplined enough, you'll be fine. I had very little knowledge in physics before uni, but I worked very hard throughout the semester and got pretty decent grades + I definitely saw a lot of progress in my understanding of the field, so that's totally doable.

"Hard" is highly subjective haha. Personally, I think it all comes down to discipline, commitment, and the right priorities; but here where I live chemistry is famously one of those majors that knock out over half of all the students within the first semester, and I'm really not sure how that happens lol. So far, chemistry has been reasonably hard for me, but with consistency and enthusiasm it has not been overwhelming or extremely difficult to get through. Medchem / pharma are a different story, or so I think. I can't really compare though, because I've never been involved in this sort of thing + honestly... I don't like biology, so I wouldn't be objective anyway ahaha. Any pharmacy students on board? Would you like to share your experience?

[slynbarnes]

Embers: Season 2 Episodes 1-10

S2 E1:

(Previously on Embers) 

L: You’re hiding something from me, I can feel it. 

B: Is he? 

L: Wait? Is that why we are here? Is he my father? 

(You place your hands on his cheeks) 

Y/N: It's not why we are here, but yes. Bucky is your father. 

(Lucas pulls away from you running away angry that you didn’t tell him. Tears stream down your face and Bucky is in complete shock) 

(Now) 

B: (Runs his hands through his hair looking stressed) 

Y/N: Bucky…?

B: I have a son? (He pauses) I am a dad…

Y/N: Bucky…

B: I missed so much of his life. 

Y/N: I’m sorry.. I wish that-

B: I know it wasn’t your fault. Hydra told you I was dead… I just can’t believe he is really mine. I just wish I could have brought your memories back sooner and-

Y/N: We will talk about everything and work things out I promise but right now Lucas shouldn’t be alone and I am pretty sure he hates me right now… Buck, do you mind…uhm… 

B: Of course. I will go check in on him. (He kisses your forehead and leaves to check in on Lucas) 

S2 E2: 

(Bucky finds Lucas sitting at the park down the street from the tower.) 

B: Hi Lucas… (He starts carefully.) 

L: So you’re my dad…

B: I guess so… 

L: My mom didn’t tell you either? 

B: Don’t blame her, she didn’t know until very recently and I know it hasn’t been easy for her. 

L: She told me you were dead. 

B: She thought I was. The people you grew up around were really bad people and they did some bad things to both of us. Your mom loves you so much and I know she would never do anything to hurt you. She loves you so much. 

L: I guess…

B: She does. Trust me, I have seen it. And now you have another parent who loves and cares about you. I wish I could have been there all of these years for you. But I want to have the chance to be in your life now if you will let me?

L: I suppose that would be okay. (Lucas smiles at Bucky) 

S2 E3:

(There is a knock at your door) 

Y/N: (You wipe your tears and gather yourself a moment.) Who is it?

Leo: It's me, Leo. Can I come in.  

(You get up and open the door) 

Leo: What’s wrong baby? 

Y/N: (You start to cry again.) Everything. My memories came back.. And now everything is messy and- (Leo cuts you off lifting your face to him) 

Leo: Slow down.. What ever it is we can talk about it. 

Y/N: (You take a deep breath.) We need to talk…

Leo: (He can tell something is really wrong and his face falls into concern.) 

Y/N: Lucas’s father is alive… Hydra lied to me saying he died. 

Leo: Oh…

Y/N: It’s Bucky… we were training like we used to in Hydra and all of my memories flooded in. Bucky would have told me and brought my memories back sooner but he and I made a promise to each other that we would always remind each other of the other, unless what felt like the impossible at the time happened and we got out. If we got out without our memories, then we didnt want to trigger the horrific memories even with the good. We promised to only hide the truth if it meant protecting the other so instead he and I ended up fighting all the time. But… (You pause) 

Leo: But…?

Y/N: When the memories came rushing back so did the feelings and Bucky and I.. we.. we slept together… (You start crying again.) 

Leo: So I guess that means I should go.. 

Y/N: I understand if you want to (You pauses hesitating a moment.) ….but Leo… I can choose to keep living in the past or I can move on with the present and hopefully my future. And I want to see where things go with you. I made my choice, I choose you. I know I messed up but I got caught up in a moment when I was vulnerable with a man I have always loved.. Honestly I think I will always love him. He is my first love and the father of my child but the thing is, I love you now. 

Leo: I love you too. And I get it… I will always love my wife, we were highschool sweethearts and If I were in your situation and had a moment to be with her I would. So I understand, but as long as you are faithful from now on I want to see what we can be too. 

(Your face softens at this, because this right here is why you fell in love with him in the first place.) 

(You both find yourself falling into each other, lips crashing together feeling a sense of relief for the first time in days.) 

S2 E4: 

(You lay in bed with Leo who is asleep next to you until Bucky and Lucas are home.) 

Y/N: (Opening the door sure to be quiet not to wake Leo.) Hey… 

B: Hey… 

Y/N: Lucas, baby can I talk to you?

(Lucas slams the door in your face) 

B: He just needs some time. 

Y/N: (You nod slowly and rub your forehead.) 

B: Can we talk? 

Y/N: Yeah, Let me get dressed and I will meet you in the training room.  

B: Okay. (He hugs you) 

Y/N: What’s this for? 

B: You look like you need it. 

(He was right, although talking to Leo helped so much you are still hurting about Bucky and Lucas. You hold on for a moment before letting go and heading back into your room.) 

S2 E5: 

(In the training room) 

B: So, I’m a dad now. 

Y/N: (You smile) I’m sorry.. I know I should have told you when I remembered but I was scared you would want to be in Lucas’ life and I wasn’t sure about telling him and if he found out from anyone other than me-

B: Y/N, I know you… I understand why you did it. Although I hope you would have at least eventually planned on telling me if this hadn’t happened.

Y/N: I mean I would have some day. But now I guess that doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t expect you to want to be apar-

B: Apart of our sons life? I lost 9 years y/n I plan on being there for him every step of the way. I’m not ging to lose out on knowing him. 

Y/N: Well if that’s what you want I have no problem with it. Honestly, Lucas asks about you all the time and he always wanted to know you so I know he will be happy to finally have you around.

B: I am happy to finally have him in my life. Y/N I need you to know that I never stopped loving you. Not even for a moment. I know you said you needed time to figure things out but no matter what I am going to fight for us. We had just started our relationship to have it all ripped away and I know that you feel it too. 

Y/N: Bucky… I-

B: No matter what. 

Y/N: I need to move forward, and I am not ready to give up what I have with Leo. I love him, Buck. I need to see where this goes with him, but I will always love you. 

B: I love you too. And that’s okay, I can be patient and I know that one day somehow we will have our time again. For now we can focus on our son.

Y/N: You seem so sure. 

B: When you know, you know. You are my other half, doll and I knew that from the moment I had you-

Y/N: Pinned to the floor and you couldn’t look away?

B: And that is why I have no doubts. 

S2 E6: (Mia is played by the little girl in Upload) 

B: Do we need a schedule or am I able to just take time with him?

Y/N: I need to know before you just take Lucas but you are welcome to spend time with him just about any time you want. He is your son too. If need be we can make a schedule but I think we both can manage to work together so that we both have time with him and it’s not like it will be all that hard with us living under the same roof.

B: That’s f-

Leo: Y/N, there you are I was looking for you. 

Y/N: Leo, hey…did you get the note I left?

Leo: I did, I just thought I’d come find you. I have to go pick up Mia from dance rehearsals but I wanted to ask you something first.

Y/N: Right, I completely forgot she was out early today. Sorry, what did you want to ask?

Leo: I was wondering if you and Lucas wanted to go to dinner with us? I thought we could tell them together. I know Lucas has been struggling with everything lately so I thought maybe some back up on things would help. And Mia hates the idea of me dating, but I think maybe it's time to tell her you're not just my friend anyways. 

Y/N: You’re the best because honestly I think Lucas might just try to murder me for this so not doing it alone sounds fantastic. 

B: I can always talk to him too if you think that will help. 

Y/N: Buck trust me he needs you. He should only be angry with one parent at a time. And right now that would be me. I appreciate you trying to help though, plus I should be the one to tell him that I am dating Leo. 

B: Okay well just know I am here for you just as much as I am for our son. (He says this trying to make Leo feel some sort of way, which works but you can see his little game and roll your eyes at him) 

Y/N: Anyways, I should go talk to Lucas then and start getting us ready for dinner. 

Leo: Okay, I love you. I will pick you and Lucas up in about an hour.

Y/N: Sounds perfect. I love you too. (You kiss him.) 

S2 E7:

(You knock on Lucas’ door.) 

L: GO AWAY! 

(You knock again and harder.) 

L: I SAID GO AWAY!

(You knock again and much more annoyingly this time) 

(Lucas opens the door) 

L: What? 

Y/N: (Walking past Lucas) We need to talk buddy. You can’t slam the door in my face now, so sit. 

L: I don’t want to talk to you. You lied to me.

Y/N: Lucas, I didn’t lie to you. I thought your father was dead. 

L: You saw him everyday and still told me he was dead!

Y/N: Lucas, please come and sit down.

L: (He does) 

Y/N: Hydra took my memories of your dad. I had no idea who he was all I was told is he was dead and that I was to care for you myself. I truly didn’t know. I never meant to hide it from you. 

L: Then why were we with Hydra if they were so horrible? 

Y/N: It’s a long story for another time. I promise I will tell you when you're older but just know I didn’t want to be there. Neither did your dad. But right now I need you to get dressed into some nicer clothes. We are going to dinner with Leo and his daughter Mia. 

L: I don’t want to go. 

Y/N: Well you don’t have a choice Lucas, it’s important that you are there.

L: I’m not going, I want to stay with Bucky. 

Y/N: No. You are coming with Leo, Mia and I. End of conversation. Now get dressed.

L: No! 

Y/N: Yes! 

L: Why?

Y/N: Because I am your mom and I said so. (You say sternly. Lucas rolls his eyes at you) Roll your eyes again and your grounded for a week.

L: Mom! (He whines) 

Y/N: Lucas! 

S2 E8: 

(At the restaurant) 

Leo: How was rehearsal Mia? 

M: It was okay, Hanna bumped into me and almost knocked me over again and Mrs. Lee didn’t see so she didn’t do anything about it. 

Leo: I will have to have a conversation with her. 

M: No daddy, it’s okay. 

Leo: I’m not going to let that little girl bully you. I will talk to your dance teacher on Monday. 

M: (Sighs) 

L: Why are we here? 

Y/N: Lucas! 

Leo: It’s okay. I guess now would be as good a time as ever while we wait for our food to talk to you guys anyways. 

Y/N: Lucas, Mia…

Leo: Y/N and I really enjoy each other’s company. 

Y/N: And we really care for each other. (You say meeting Leo’s eyes) 

Leo: We decided we are making things official. We are dating. That’s why we asked both of you here with us. 

L: No! How could you do this now? To our family! We just found my dad! 

Y/N: Lucas, I love your dad and I always-

L: What? You always will? Then why are you not with him? 

M: Dad! How could you do this to momma? 

Leo: Mia, I-

(The waiter brings out our food. The whole table goes quiet and not another word is spoken, even the whole way back to the tower.) 

S2 E9: 

(You all walk in together.) 

Leo: If you need anything, just let me know okay? 

Y/N: Thanks, same to you. I knew it was going to be bad but this was…

Leo: Worst case scenario?

Y/N: Exactly. I have a feeling we will have our hands full. If there is anything I can do to help just let me know. 

Leo: I will, you too. Goodnight y/n. (He kisses you) 

L&M: Ughhhhhh! (Lucas storms off) 

Y/N: Lucas!

Leo: It’s okay, go, I will see you later this week. 

Y/N: Bye, Leo. 

(You go to Lucas’ room but don’t find him in there.) 

(You call Bucky) 

(On the phone) 

B: Hey. 

Y/N: Is he with you? 

B: Yeah. (He keeps it short, trying not to tip Lucas off that you're looking for him) 

Y/N: Training room?

B: Yep. I will see you soon.

Y/N: Thanks Buck. 

B: You're welcome. 

S2 E10: 

(In the training room) 

Y/N: Lucas can we talk now?

L: I don’t want to talk to you, you traitor. 

Y/N: (You laugh a little at him calling you a traitor.)

B: What if I stayed? (He offers.) 

L: Maybe.

Y/N: (You sit next to Lucas, now in the middle of you and Bucky.) Lucas, your dad and I love each other and we always will especially because we have you but, I also love Leo. He is a really good guy, who I would love if you gave a chance.

L: You can’t replace Bucky… We just found him. (Lucas gives you sad eyes.) 

Y/N: Baby… I’m not trying to replace Bucky. Trust me he is irreplacable. (You look to Buck.) I just…- 

B: Lucas, your mom is happy with Leo. She deserves to be happy. And I am not going anywhere even if your mom and I are not together. I will always be here. Leo seems like a really nice guy, maybe just be open to the idea. 

Y/N: Exactly, I don’t plan on running off with him or getting married. We just enjoy being around each other. There is no guarantee’s for anything right now.

L: But why can’t you be happy together?

B: Sometimes we don’t get to choose who we find ourselves caring for. I love your mom and she loves me but life took us in different directions for a while and by the time your mom had her memories back she already loved someone else. I know it’s confusing but we are happy. And we both love you and plan to work together to raise you. 

L: (Looks to Bucky) You promise you won’t leave? 

B: I promise. I am here to stay.

Y/N: Are we okay bubs?

L: (He hesitates) Okay.

Y/N: Okay?

L: Yeah. 

(Even with this you still feel him distancing himself from you.)

[thekingofwinterblog]

It’s all for his sake - Endeavor and the Sunk Cost Fallacy

My hero academia 301 is a pretty interesting chapter, but for me, the most notable piece of it was how Endeavour reacted to the realization that Touya couldnt surpass All Might.

upon realizing that his son might not be able to do it because of inborn physical limitations, he immediatly stopped his training, which frankly was the responsible and adult thing to do. 

This stint of real parenthood did not last long however.

After taking the matter to a doctor, he is flat out told that not only cant Touya achive what endeavor wants, but it is a direct result of his incredibly selfish and irresponsible attempt to play god, by trying to breed the “perfect” hero into being.

It is how you react when you lose however, that shows who you really are, and endeavor illustrates that very, very well.

Upon being told in no uncertain terms that his attempts at Breeding an heir failed magnificently, producing a child that was not capable of resisting his own immense power, but also admonished by his doctor for even attempting it, and adviced not to try again, Endeavor instead doubled down, while focusing on the child he screwed over from the start with his attempt at genetic manipulation.

It was all for him you see. Endeavor doesnt use those words, but that is how he spins it here. it was all for Touya, all for his sake. if i stop now, then Touya was all for nothing, a mistake, im doing this for my son.

if im doing this for my son, then im not responsible for any of this.

his wife however, calls him out on it, as she understands Touya much, much more than endeavor does. or rather, she sees him fully as a human being, instead of as a thing, a weapon, a failed attempt at an heir.

Unlike Endeavor, Rei is able to see the way this all is affecting her son. She is able to see, and understand that Touya has fully accepted what Endeavor wanted him to be. a stronger, and better version of himself. however, unlike Endeavor, she only cares about him as a person.

Endeavour by comparison isnt completely uncaring about Touya. like most abusive parents, he does possess love for his offspring, but it is forever tainted by the fact that however much he might care, or not care about Touya, any familial love he has for his son is tainted by the fact that to Endeavor, he is a failed experiment, a failed heir, not his child. 

He is the golden child that Endeavor was building up as his true and only heir, who he breed, trained, and molded to for that single purpose, and now that he’s reached a point where he cant continue that legacy.

so, its time to abandon him, and start over new, despite literarily having just learned how stupid this plan was, and that it can, in fact, go completely wrong, with a quirk that will fuck over the person he brings into the world.

Of course, Endeavor doesnt use those words to frame it. there is no way to pretend to be a hero, if you phrase it like that after all. Intead, this is the words he uses.

this is a very important series of panels for a great number of reasons, some that can be debated, argued, and we will probably never know the full truth to the questions because this is a series published in 2020′s shonen jump, and there are things that probably wasnt gonna fly with Hori’s editors, if it was the case.

but lets start with what can not be debated. Endeavor’s words here.

“If we want him to give it up, then we have no choice... Touya... Cant surpass him.”

These are very telling words, and however you believe The third and fourth children of the Todoroki family was concieved, there is not denying the meaning of what he’s saying here.

The only way that my son will stop being an idiot and fall into line, is if we have another baby. that is the only Right way to move forward. it is morally right, because if we dont do this, then he’s going to destroy himself.

there are two ways to interpret this scene.

The charitable way is to read it as the fact that he used Rei’s oldest son’s mental state as a justification of guilting his wife to have a third child, to give this attempt at a superpowered breeding project another shot, despite the fact that they now know that this can lead to a child who is essentially born crippled from his own powers, and despite the fact that Rei obviously understands the effect of them continuing this insanity will have on their oldest son.

the uncharitable way to look at it, is that he used this as justification for flat out raping her, and forcing a third, and then later a fourth child on her.

I personally believe the last one, given a number of factors shown in this chapter(the way this page is framed, the fact Rei obviously didnt want a third child, given she predicted exactly how touya would react, the way her eyes would latet turn when she looks at who is presumably touya which really brings to mind how she would later react to her youngest son’s face after her mental breakdown, etc.), but i’ll frankly admitt that withouth a direct quote from Hori, its impossible to know for sure one way or another. 

either way however, this is a very good example of Endeavor both being influenced by, and using Sunk Cost Fallacy to justify bringing another potentially crippled child into the world for his own, selfish goals.

sunk cost Fallacy, is a mental reaction to when you invest more time and resources into a project, that you becomes so emotionally invested into said project that you will continue to invest into it, even if it reaches a point that it becomes clear that the resources you put into it, far, far outweighs the potential gains you can achieve.

because if you give up after having invested years, and years of effort to breed, raise, and train a kid, and then all that effort was absolutely wasted. hence he choose to keep going, despite having learned what a terrible idea this is.

He doesnt care about the fact that his next child might be even more crippled than his firstborn, he doesnt care about his son’s actual wellbeing. he cares about the fact that if he doesnt continue this insanity, then not only will he not achieve his dreams, but everything he did to get to this point was for absolutely nothing.

and endeavor cannot accept that. and so long as he can justify breeding more children into the world, and there being any chance they might inherit both quirks perfectly, he doesnt care about anything else.

and the moment he realised that this kid wasnt gonna cut it either, he did it again. it is not a coincidence, that the age gap between Endeavor’s second, third, and fourth children were all 3-4 years apart. because thats the age where you can usually tell when a quirk will manifest or not, as established earlier in the series.

While she isnt brought up directly by Endeavor as a justification, it is very telling that Endeavor decided on having a third child, only after his second child was old enough that he could tell that that there was no chance she could take the place as his heir instead.

So, he had his third child, and as time passed and it became obvious that he wasn’t gonna be able to fulfill Endeavor’s goals either, he dumped him, and instead breed a fourth child into existence.

and finally, he struck gold. he did it. he produced Shoto.

everything was finally worth it, and now, everything would be absolutely fine. the cost fallacy had reached its end, and it was now all full sails ahead.

except of course it wasnt.

His oldest son, now in middle school, had been raised from birth to believe he would surpass his father, only to be thrown away, and getting to see his father try to replace him, not once, but twice.

frankly, this scene is probably my favorite in the chapter, because it goes to show Endeavor’s mindset. Natsuo made a point that their father completely ignored his older children. and he did... from Natsuo’s perspective. however, having a more thourough picture of things, we can clearly see that this wasnt the case with Touya.

Endeavor genuinly cared for Touya, enough that once he got that child he tried to breed into existence 4 times, he genuinly wanted him to just abandon trying to be a hero. he genuinly thinks of himself as a good dad here, wanting his son to abandon the mission he set out for him before he was born. of course, with context, this heartwarming scene is incredibly sad and insidious, because we understand why Endeavor got so attached to his oldest child. because he WAS the golden child. he was the child Endeavor genuinly cared about, and invested in, and trained personally with great warmth and enthusiasm.

And not only did he abandon him as a failed project the moment he realized he wasnt gonna live up to his ridiculous standards, but he literarily created 2 more kids to try and replace him, just as his oldest son was old enough to understand what exactly his dad was doing. over the course of this chapter, we get to see Touya’s start as a 5-8 year old, his deteriorating mental state over the years, until he finally seemed to reach the breaking point with Shoto’s birth sometime in his middle school years 12-15. 

Endeavor is in this scene, just not capable of understanding why Touya so desperately wants to become a hero, when obviously he isnt physically able to do so. he isnt able to understand that he is 100% to blame for the fact that his son is having a full emotional breakdown after literaly being replaced by his siblings. 

In other words, Endeavor genuinly think’s he’s a good person. a person who has made a few mistakes along the way sure, but a person who was always justified in the end, and now that he’s having to face the fact that as dabi would later say “The past never dies” and has to face the aftermath of his inane attempt to play god for the pettiest of reasons, things simply arent going to work out.

He isnt going to have a happy family, who can now put the awful early years behind them, he put way too much effort, caused too much suffering and sacrificed too many years of his life for this not to work out as he wants.

after all, if he walks away from this project now, and lets Shoto have a normal childhood, and decide for himself, with no pressure from him, wheter or not to become a hero, then the sunk cost fallacy will have reached a negative end. it will all have been for nothing.

and we know he did eventually double down on this mentality, literarily beating into Shoto that he WAS going to become a hero, and there was not but’s or no’s about it.

there was no way that Endeavor was EVER going to let things be for nothing. His treatment of his older children could not be for nothing. His treatment of his wife could not be for nothing. His treatment of Shoto, and the way he beat him black and blue to train him, could not be for nothing.

Because if it all was for nothing, if everything he feels guilty about was for absolutely nothing, then he was in fact, a bad, bad person, who had no justification for anything he ever did.

[heyitsyn]

MANAGER!SEIJOH AU

a/n: this is kind of an au like what if you were

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

- 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 i would like to request a seijoh!manager reader who’s a first year and is siblings with ushi and the team’s reaction to finding out that she was supposed to go to shiratorizawa with ushi and their reaction with her getting along with the shiratorizawa volleyball team and maybe the manager is a small cute soft little energetic ball of sunshine 🥺🥺 also hewwo, hope youre doing well! ☺️ -🎷🐛

- Ir seijoh manager series is so gooood. Can we get something where by some weird reason yn-chan is close to ushijima and tendou and the seijoh boys dont know about it and how they'd react to her being so affectionate w them ahahwindkdn

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT HOW FREAKING PRETTY TENDOU IS LIKE AKLFDJLASKFJDLSKFJDSFLKD

okayokayokay

so this is a what if thing

like what if ushijima was your older brother

SLKFDJADFLIJSDKLDF I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE OIKAWA SCREAMING

you didnt exactly have the best relationship with your mom

you remember when you were younger that she used to yell at your brother for using his left hand and you got angry a lot because you were fiercely protective of your brother

this caused her to yell at you too for being nosy and being involved in something you shouldnt be in

duh we know that ushi’s dad takashi actually supported him for this and protected him too and you were also a papa’s girl so you always ran to him

he understood you both better and while your mother worked, he was at home taking care of you two

then when they mentioned wanting to separate, you were very sad but somewhat relieved

mostly because you hated hearing your parents arguing and you felt bad for your brother as he constantly did whatever to get you out of the house

thats what brought on your love for volleyball

you werent exactly the best player but you were interested in it and often watched matches with him

but you also liked volleyball because your brother liked it

you liked whatever your brother liked

he adored you too and he was a boy who didnt talk much due to your mother but he was always a talker with you

especially when you couldnt sleep, he would sneak you out of your room and you both would run to the kitchen and eat ice cream

even with just a 2 year age difference, he looked as if he was older than you due to his massive height

‘just wait nii-chan! i will drink enough milk to reach your height!’

*insert lenny face*

AKLDJFSLDKFJDF I HATE MYSELF

CAN I PLEASE DIE

however

when they divorced, you thought your father would take both you and ushi

like the lady at the court even asked you where you wanted to go and not a breath of hesitation you chose your father

you weren’t very concerned because you knew your brother was going to choose your dad as you both were closer to him

so imagine your surprise when he said he didnt care and naturally, the mother would get the child

lowkey you felt hella betrayed and when your dad whisked you away overseas, there was this grudge you held against toshi

yall youre like 5

i would be hella mad too if my brother chose the person who yells at him all the time

in california, your father made sure you still remembered your brother and you tried to detach from the japanese lifestyle to your new one but you just couldnt

maybe around 6 years you were already fed up with the hot california heat and you wanted to go back to japan to see toshi again

you got over that grudge years ago but your mother refused to have any contact or anything to do with your father and so that included you too

she refused to let you both video chat and any type of connection

your dad obviously noticed your sad expressions and your obvious longing to go back to your brother again and so he arranged something

you shut the door gently before taking off your shoes by the doorway

the large house was often quiet except for the constant typing of a keyboard in your father’s study

‘tadaima’

you meekly mumbled but his sense of hearing never wavered so he heard your voice

‘oh? y/n?’

his voice echoed through the hallways and you heard his chair squeak as it was moved back so he could stand

your sock-cladded feet padded against the hard wood floor and you walked towards his study where indeed he was standing there

your father has definitely aged yet his job as a coach made him as fit as he was decades ago

as much as it disgusted you, you could tell what your friends meant when they said your dad was good-looking

they actually said your dad was hot but you refuse to acknowledge that

you and your friends are like 12 tf

you closed the door and sat down on the loveseat at the corner of the room as it was your designated spot

‘hey, papa’

you greeted with a smile and he gave you the same grin

‘i ordered f/f (favorite food) for dinner tonight so try and listen for the bell to ring, okay?’

you nodded

there was bit of small talk and you asked about his team while he asked about school and you both arranged to hang out over the weekend at some ice cream shop

the conversation dragged on until you heard the doorbell and you ran to the door to answer the delivery man

your dad put out the plates on the table and you excitedly dug in

‘also, you remember your grandmother? and her terrible back?’

oh god of course you did

they lived about 30 minutes away from your house in japan and she constantly worried your father bc the woman was approaching 90 and was still picking peppers!

with old coach ukai

‘what did she do now?’

your father chuckled at the exasperation in your voice

‘she misses you. says something about the family’s princess needing to go back to her country or something’

there was a smile in your face

your grandmother was your favorite and she always said you were the princess

she hated your mother because of how insensitive she was so she only acknowledged you as the only other female in the family

obviously your brother was also liked but there was just a special bond between you and your grandmother

‘so when are we going back?’

you asked and it was clear that you were excited at the thought of going back to japan as you havent been back since you moved due to your father’s busy job and your school

takashi swallowed his food before revealing the news

‘actually, if you want, you could finish your schooling there. but only until college first though because your old man needs you over here too’

nah bro you didnt even care about the last part

literally your fork fell to the table and you shrieked 

‘WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!’

and thus brought you back to japan

you stayed with your grandmother on your dad’s side and you quickly got accustomed back to japan life

OH

your BROTHER!

okay

so waka-chan def heard you coming back

your mother was grumbling about it the other day and he was sure he heard your name in there

‘sdkfjkdslfjdkslfj y/n dkfjlsdkfjldkf’

LMAO THATS ME TRYING TO SAY THAT WAKA COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE SAID SINCE SHE WAS MUMBLING SHE WASNT KEYBOARD SMASHING LMAO

there was a mutual giddiness in there too and he was excited to see you again after many years without contact

however

there was a bit of fear in there that thought back to when you were younger and his choice of not really having a specific parent despite your pleads to stay together with him

but he was going to make sure your bond was still intact!

he would do anything in his power to do so!

when you arrived

your dad accompanied you back to japan and you both were walking out to the exit of the airport when you saw your grandmother excitedly waving a sign around

in bold sparkly letters, it said ‘USHIJIMA’

okay wait i love grandma usui 

you quickly ran over to her and she grasped you into her arms

‘nana’

you sobbed and she hugged you tightly

‘im so happy youre back home’

your father shook hands with the friend she brought to help drive you guys back home

old man ukai was basically the chauffeur but hes really good friends with your nana so it was okay

the entire ride you guys basically caught up with each other and you couldnt help but laugh whenever your dad would go on a rant about your grandma being too reckless and your nana defending herself

‘oh stop it, takashi. i was only given one life and if it’s over, it’s over. for now, ill live it how i see fit!’

your old family home was exactly as you remember it but you didnt expect the 6′2 boy in the living room

‘nii-chan’

you meekly whispered and he let out a soft smile before opening his big arms

you ran into them and he held you tightly

‘i missed you. so much’

he whispered and you nodded 

it was def such a nice thing to have your brother again

oooo your dad been knew that you would be sticking to waka like you did when you were itty bitty young

so when you practically begged waka to stay at your nana’s house the entire summer, he couldnt refuse you

duh your mom went to see you but you just quietly sat there and smiled at her

polite but distant

due to being around waka so much, you naturally went to his volleyball practices and their training camp

there

you met his friends and you guys quickly got acquainted especially with tendo bc he was just so fun

and he was your brother’s boyfriend best friend

the others were still kinda distant with you ahem ahem im looking at you shirabu

but they were mostly amazed at how powerful the genetics played in your appearances because wowza you were beautiful

lmao dont let waka hear them say that bc they would be benched all season in a single snap

during training camp, you usually sat at the sides or you would be their stand-in manager

goshiki absolutely LOVES you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOSHIKI MY SON MY BABY

him and you were the same age so there was an easier way of being friends and your energies just matched so well

he would run up to you whenever he got a play right and you would ruffle his hair affectionately

LADKSJFLDSKFS FLASHBACK TO TENDO!SISTER X GOSHIKI

‘y/n-chan!’

‘y/n-chan!’

‘y/n-chan!’

hell even ushi was getting annoyed at goshiki’s constant need for you

tendo would steal you away and he would be giggling to you about how adorable you were and you just giggled along bc wow this beautiful man is really talking to me right now

ALKSDJFLKSF CAN YOU TELL IM ALSO A TENDOODOO SIMP?

‘cmere, y/n-chan. i taught toshi this the other day and he was very impressed and wanted me to do it again. okay so it goes in a rhyme, ya ready?’

you nodded along and he shot you a close-eyed smile before starting to draw on the dirt with a stick

‘there once was a man with-’

lets just say

you were definitely your brother’s sister

sometimes though

you would try and go towards the calmer players to get away from the rowdiness from baby daddy tendo and baby goshiki

you would find them at the gym just doing drills and at the sight of you, they would turn red but continue playing

they didnt really mind seeing you there bc youve always been such a positive energy and cheered them on which gave them strength

‘NICE ONE OHIRA-SAN!’

‘WAHHH SO COOL YAMAYAMA-SAN!’

you were like a cute ball of serotonin >o<

‘wah, of course its expected for you guys to be the top in the prefecture. youre like,,,,, silent but deadly~!’

duh a compliment from a girl?

dead

shirabu’s bangs would get in the way of his vision sometimes yall i will never stop making fun of that ridiculously adorable haircut so you would use a clip and tuck it away for him

this big babie is so awkward that he turns red when you whisper in his ear that you were done

semisemi baby and you got along bc you guys had a similar taste in music and because you lived in california, he was fascinated that you were in the music capital of america

‘did you see celebrities down the street?’

he asked you excitedly one day during lunch

you stopped then smiled softly

‘semisemi-kun, i didnt live at that part of california’

nah to him, america is just filled with celebrities

OH DEAR BABY BOY KAWANISHI

taichi is a generally quiet guy

like you thought he was actually selectively mute when you first met him

but you gradually got him to talk and you would help him whenever he would want to practice

usually it was during the ungodly hours of the morning

you woke up and went to grab a drink from the common room but you noticed his large build exiting the door so you followed him into the gym

‘kawanishi-san?’

you called out and felt guilty when he jumped 

‘oh, hey’

he aknowledged

‘wha-’

you stopped to yawn causing your eyes to close making you miss the brief second of softness that flashed in his eyes

‘what are you doing?’

you tiredly asked

taichi dusted off his trackpants after kneeling down to rummage through his bag and you couldnt help but gawk at his height

‘im training early’

he answered

‘why? is it because you want to keep up with the others?’

you mumbled and he was surprised for a second but reverted back to his stoic expression

‘i have to make sure i am able to reach my seniors level for next year’

taichi turned away to grab a stray ball and you moved to go to the storage room for the ball cart

‘oi, what are you doing? go back to bed’

he said from the other side of the gym but you just looked back at him with a tired grin

‘meh, i want to spend time with you, senpai’

you reasoned

he shook his head before walking over to you then ruffled your hair

‘no wonder youre so tiny. you dont sleep enough and let your body grow’

yep that was the closest youve gotten to taichi joking with you

usually, hes training and when hes in the zone, nothing else has his attention but the ball

maybe thats why the others ahem goshiki has said that he was very scary

his game face was practically a mean face

basically you spent the entire training camp with them and then soon, you were going back to school

duh everyone hmm maybe not shirabu bc he most definitely read the school book of rules thought you would be going to shiratorizawa with them 

but you broke the news to them one afternoon and imagine the tears from both tendo and goshiki

‘WHHYYYY!!!!’

‘NOOO!!!!!’

‘why can’t you?’

semi asked and you were about to answer when shirabu beat you to it

‘the school doesnt allow late transfers’

oh right

the american school system was set in a different schedule than a japanese school system

it was considered the summer for them yet school already started a few months ago

since shiratorizawa was a very academically and physically prestigious school, they refused anyone who would potentially be late or behind their curriculum

‘so where ya headed to then, chibi?’

tendou pouted and you leaned against his arm

‘hmm some school named aoba johsai? i dont know its near my grannie’s so that’s all that mattered’

oh dear

USHIJIMA NO Y/N WILL NOT ASK TOORU TO GO TO SHIRATORIZAWA

they consider seijoh a rival bc theyve played against them practically in every prefecture tournament and they were worried for that infamous setter

‘ne, y/n-chan, promise us that you won’t be swept away by them! especially a guy named oikawa tooru!’

uhhh

well

tendou’s warning was kinda ignored bc you ended up being seijoh’s manager

hehe

surprise?

but they weren’t really really shocked tho bc they knew you liked volleyball so you would naturally be in the volleyball team

even as a manager

meanwhile in seijohhh

OooOOOoOoOooooo sEiJOOhHHHH~~~~~~

okay so you were actually registered under your father’s last name usui rather than the ushijima last name

therefore you werent exactly immediately known as HEY! USHIJIMA’S SISTER!

you still became the manager the way you did as mentioned in part 1 

and you still are their adorable baby manager

you were aware of their oikawa’s hatred for wakawaka so you try not to talk about him even though youre literally the closest person to him

was it traitorous? 

maybe

but you actually even help them when they practice

duh the boys are like eyebrow raise emoji 

‘wow youre really into volleyball, huh, manager-chan?’

matsukawa commented and you just smiled

‘hmm, my family likes it so ive picked up a thing or two’

LMAO

little do they know your brother is literally the best volleyball player around and is a member of the under 19 team and your father is a volleyball coach in america and would someday be someone iwaizumi hajime (19) would apprentice under

there was a lot of times you thought you would slip up like your home screen was of you and waka but youve been careful to cover it up

BUT

you cant always be sneaky

it was during the first day of the tournament and you were filling up their water bottles I SWEAR WHY IS MANAGER-CHAN ALWAYS FILLING UP WATER BOTTLES when you found a familiar bunch of boys at the end of the hallway just chatting

you havent seen tendou and the boys in so long so you placed the bottles down and rushed over there so quickly

‘TOMUTOMU!’

you shouted and the oddly-haired boy turned and he gasped before grabbing you into a large hug

this grabbed tendou’s attention and he cheered then hugged you too

your giggles and happy cheers were so infectous and they just absolutely missed you so much 

these tall boys were at a advantage so someone scooped you up and you were just affectionately being talked to and hugged and LKDSJFSLDFJ SO LUCKY SO LOVED

meanwhile

the plant babies were wondering where the heck you went to 

‘y/n-chan?! where is she?!’

oikawa panicked quickly while iwaizumi hit him to shut up

‘be quiet! you won’t find her if you’re too busy freaking out!’

‘ill find her’

matsukawa volunteered and they nodded, feeling at ease of him being capable to find you if you were in trouble

but when he returned empty-handed and with large eyes, they knew something was up

they ran behind mattsun to stop and copy his shocked expression at the sight in front of them

is that

you?

with

shi

ra

to

ri

za

wa

oh my god

‘y/n-chan!’

oikawa shouted, being the first to speak

you jumped and your own eyes widened

‘oh. oh no’

you mumbled

the others were so stunned and seijoh itself was so hard to make speechless but they were just shocked

period

‘what is happening’

iwaizumi mumbled

yea the others were just shocked period

‘hey guys’

you waved and you motioned them closer

‘uhh,,, well,,, um they are my friends’

you smiled uneasily and they could see that

‘aaand?’

oikawa signalled you to say everything bc he knew it wasnt the whole story

you sighed

‘ushi,,, jima is my brother’

you mumbled the last part

but they heard you

‘HAH?!’

you cringed and the shira boys were about to move to protect you but they saw you glare at them

‘what? what about it? hes my brother? and?’

you babbled

‘but,, why are you,, in seijoh? dont get me wrong! its just,, youd naturally go to shiratorizawa right?’

mattsun waved his hands around and asked the question thats bugging the team

‘i came to the country late’

‘THE COUNTRY?!’

well,,

turns out you havent exactly told them everything about you yet :/

even when youve cleared the air and introduced waka as your brother, seijoh still didnt say anything

they were stuck in this shocked and surprised moment even at the end of the day and when you went straight to the shiratorizawa team,

they watched with wide eyes as you laughed with goshiki and was jumping around with tendou

‘AH! TOMU! MY HAIR!’

‘TORI-SAN! SATORI-SAN! TAKE THAT!’

wow you were actually really beautiful when youre happy

‘i dont think ive seen her this happy with this much energy’

makki said and they nodded

it was true

you were usually calm and collected and was the perfect balance to this chaotic team

so seeing you so free and loose with them was so refreshing, even if it was with damn ushiwaka

you finally went back to the seijoh boys and they all sent glares to the violet team before sending you a smile

‘you ready to go, manager-chan?’

watari ruffled your hair before handing you your bag to start walking to the bus

‘yea. lets go home’

as you all walked, oikawa was already starting his tantrum

‘y/n-chan~! why aren’t you that happy around us? are we not enough for you?’

oikawa whined and pouted

but you just turned to smiled at him and stopped walking to pat his head

‘im not their manager, therefore im not pressured to act like anyone except as a friend and a spectator. but i try to be as professional as i can with you guys to make sure you dont appear bad to others. and you guys are perfectly chaotic enough, adding me into the mix will just about kill coach’

oikawa didnt seem satisfied though

‘but! thats not fair! they get to see you smile and i dont!’

iwaizumi growled at him to be quiet but you beat him to it

well

you smiled at tooru but your eyes shone maliciously

‘i knew you would act like this, oikawa-san. as punishment, i gave nii-chan your phone number. good luck avoiding him now’

oikawa screamed

a/n: AAWWWWW LETS NOT KILL COACH IRIHATA OKAY? HES LIKE OUR GRANPAPA AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE OIKAWA ALONE WAKAWAKA-KUN!

[yellowbluemoonshine]

The Wrong Way to Put Out Fire

I wanna talk about some details about Touya, Todoroki family and the different situtions Touya and Shouto had.

Touya is introduced us as innocent, nice kid who just wants to enjoy his father.

Thats actually first difference we saw between Touya and Shouto. Sometimes children fond of one of their parents more than other one. For Touya, he was daddy’s boy. Shouto is more like mommmy’s boy. (Even their clothes are parallels. Fire, ice. Daddy, mommy.)

And let me say this;

This marriage was wrong to begin with. Quirk marriage, the fact that Endeavour decided to put his ambitions on his children is wrong.

But as a first born, for Touya, his family was normal. Children dont magically understand what is right or wrong.

He simply saw that he got his father’s attention and it made him really really happy. Training was the bond he had with his father. Touya’s thoughts probably like; I am daddy’s son, my father is really happy when i become more strong etc etc.

Even he realize his family is different from other people, he probably simply thought that it might be different but its their thing. This is why we saw Touya as happy. Touya felt special when he got his father’s all attention.

And Touya saw his mother is okay with it. He probably saw that many times even when father being disrespectfull, mom doesnt seem to mind that much. This is probably why he starts to looks down on his mother too. Its just children dont respect adults who dont respect theirselves. If child think he can get away with it, they would simply do it. Mommy allows daddy to be the boss of the house, mommy allows daddy’s to be disrespectfull to herself so its ok to disrespectfull to mommy too. Thats how children think in those situtions.

What was Shouto’s difference then?

Shouto as last born, he never think his family is normal or this sitution is okay cause when Shouto is born, everyone in family already starts to break down. Mommy wasnt okay at all.

Endeavour put his own ambitions on Touya’s shoulders, he gave him impossible expectations which is literally name of the chapter. Wrong way to put out the fire. Those impossible expectations is abuse, btw.

Everything started cause Endeavour put out fire on wrong place, his family.

And after Touya failed, he was thrown away. Touya probably felt like; his father took him to the highest hill of the building, made him feel special but then threw him down.

Touya started to get the attention he had at first place to the point he started to burn himself over and over again. Look at how terryfying he looks when his brothers were born...

At this point, he understand he is replacable which made him question why was he born at first place.

Of course, Touya wouldnt listen Endeavour when he said ‘there is a life outside of being a hero’ cause Endeavour himself doesnt live his life like that. Children arent stupid, they observe adults’s actions too. Endeavour’s words condract with his actions thats why his words didnt reach out to Touya.

Touya was in a lot of pain to the point his heigh stopped growing (Look how he is shorter than his siblings), burns himself, his hair starts to change probably cause he used his quirk too much, he even starts to pull his hair which is sign of suicide. He was literally small kid who was mentally breaking down and he expressed his pain every way he can do but he was ignored.

Fuyumi-chan didnt understand him. Natsuo-kun doesnt listen him either. (Touya thought Fuyumi-chan didnt understand her cause she is girl but the reason she and Natsuo doesnt understand is they didnt have the same expectation at first place.)

And mommy is at fault too cause she is the one who allowed daddy to raised him like this at first place. She is the one the accepted this marriage, she is responsible too.

For a child, to be understood is very important thing but they didnt get it. He realized his siblings dont understand him. Even though, Touya was so mentally unstable to the point he attack his baby brother, his parents still didnt get him help or didnt specifically take care of him, instead they constantly ignore him. They kept telling him to forget what happenned and look other way.

This is exactly why Touya couldnt hold on something else cause in deep, he knows only way to be seen is prove himself.

For Touya, his mother didnt there for him. His mother allowed this to happen too. This is why his situtions are opposite of Shouto’s.

Touya thought family is normal, his daddy loves him, this is why training was fun.

This is why he end believing everything Endeavour taught him. Even he uses same words, literally in same chapter.

‘I live in different world from others.’

Shouto realized family isnt normal and father is the one who make everyone unhappy. This is why he hated training cause he realized father is forcing him.

For Touya, mother wasnt there for him and ignored his pain.

For Shouto, his mother was there for him, this is why she became his emotional support.

This is also why Shouto tried to protect mom cause Rei at this point was really in pain and she was reaching her breaking point. Mommy is there for me, i love mommy but dad make mommy upset, dad is the bad guy here.

Meanwhile for Touya, he didnt really see his mom as sad, he saw her being okay with sitution, thats why he probably think that the way Endeavour treat her as normal cause she accepted this sitution.

All those opposite situitons made them think opposite way. Not because one is good or bad, its just they had different kind of abuse. (Also hair symbolism is nice parallel too).

Though despite opposite situtions, they were also similar too. They were so cold child soldiers who only think about getting revenge from father, just opposite way cause Shouto has.

Touya waited his father to come forest to watch him but Endeavıur didnt come until Touya was burn to death.

Touya’s death wasnt just an accident but its both also suicide and murder. Touya was suicidal, he kept burning himself but parents didnt look at him and Endeavour is the one who push him this mental state. Even Touya says himsef;

 ‘After all, the only  thing he taught me was how to turn up the heat’

Touya had to burn and reborn to get daddy’s attention again but even after his death, he was hardly mentioned by his family. I mean if Dabi never become a villain, they wouldnt even discuss this case as family.

And i honestly dislike how Todoroki handle this sitution.

Rei says everyone is responsible but Shouto, Fuyumi and Natsuo were children, its not their fault. Rei is at fault for not being there for Touya and Endeavour is the most at fault for making Touya mentally unstable. I hate how children carry the mistakes of Endeavour, it wasn their fault.

And with their talk, they made it sound like Shouto is better than Touya cause look, he became a hero and he forgave them!

I mean, Shouto didnt have much choice cause Endeavour forced him to be a hero. Even Endeavour wasnt there, Shouto had emotional support (mom) and inspiration (allmight) to be hero, he also has strong qurik so no wonder he can be hero, you know. But Touya didnt have any of it. He didnt have emotional support, inspiration to be better or strong quirk.

Not even need to mention how both Early-Shouto and Dabi obsess with revenge, cold child soldiers who dont pay attention to people around them. Just Shouto was in better environment and then he met Deku and he started to heal.

Even Shouto saw himself in Dabi, how he could be like him but he was lucky to be saved. Even their wound smbolically shows their pain. For Shouto, it was boiling water but for Touya, it was very strong fire that will burn him to dush.

Yeah, Dabi is villain but even so. To Deku, Shigaraki is completely stranger but he still thoguht that he needs to be saved. Meanwhile, Todoroki family knew what happenned to Touya. They are personally involved with him but i found it weird it how they didnt mention about ‘saving him’.

I mean maybe thats what they will try eventually but still....i think heroes are good, villains are bad sitution contnues even in this sitution cause they say Dabi is the one who needs to be stopped and Endeavour is the one who take a hand.

Shouto needs to offer that hand to Dabi, not Endeavour cause the one who needs to be saved is Dabi/Touya, not Endeavour. 

Not to mention how Best Jeanist and Hawks coldy listen sitution.

I guess, even after this, they still dont really look at Dabi’s pain cause if they saw it, at least they would talk about helping him more than stopping him...what a tragedy.

Touya, after everything he had been through is still ignored, even by his own family, remind me of Tenko’s sitution :’))).

[milkacchan]

Yall wanted the kiribaku angst

I basically wrote this bc i was in a bad mood

But I hc bakugou being an amazing dad and not letting his career get in the way of it

And I'll stand by that as my offical hc

• When you were 'acquired' Bakugou got a job offer- one over seas that would extend his career

• He brought it to Kirishima immediately- who was skeptical in all honesty. They had a child now, why would he want to go?

• But Bakugou was just so excited about it- kirishima could put his career in partial hold to watch after you. He had friends helping too

• And he'd be back soon anyway, so it would be fine right?

• Right?

• That was the plan- though things don't ever go according to plan, do they.

• Katsukis out of country internship was extended two months before he was supposed to come home.

• Katsuki apolgoized and promised he'd visit and Eiji reassured him it was fine

• He'd already missed your first birthday, not that you knew, but Eiji celebrated it alone.

• His friends helped him out a lot, Kaminari and Sero became frequents in the house, often babysitting you or putting you to bed

• sometimes kiri was just too tired to take care of you on his own, in which case some member would come over and help him out. Usually making dinner or helping straighten up around the house

• he wasn't a single father but it sure felt like it

• Years passed and many of Katsukis promises were left empty

• You'd heard his voice over the phone more times than you'd actually met him

• You were 4 the first time he came home.

• it broke Eijirous heart to say this was the first time you'd actually meet him

• Deku had asked if you were excited to meet him

• It had sunk in then that you really didn't have much of a relationship with Katsuki

• There are times when Katsuki is home for a few months

• or for a year

• but then he always leaves again, for some new job

• It hurts Kiri but he's in love, he wants to be supportive so he is.

• He missed the manifestation of your quirk.

• you weren't pleased with that

• you screamed and cried and pleaded

• you got his temper, he cringed to himself.

• and kiri could do nothing but hold you.

• he wasn't very happy either.

• He'd missed at least half of your birthdays

• but he still held onto hope

• Bakugou would stay eventually, right?

• He isn't sure when it happened, but you stopped holding onto hope that he'd be back

• slowly you stopped talking to him during phone calls and when you did the answers were short and to the point before the phone was handed back to kiri

• He wasn't sure when but you looked up to Denki and Sero as father figures

• he wasn't sure when but you stopped caring

• there was malice and anger

• that you didn't always express but he knew it was there.

• but sometimes, sometimes you'd snap.

• there was one particularly stressful occasion, one really shitty day, where it all just spilled out.

• it was after a loss at the sports festival.

• it was your own fault of course, but it would've been nice to have a full house of support.

• "I just don't understand why he can't work here. He can make money here. He can be with his funding family. But instead he's off galavanting over there." You growled, "fuck him."

"Stop." Kiri spoke sternly. "Don't say that. He's your father. He's-"

"He doesn't love us, Dad. If he did he'd fucking be here."

• he didn't know what to do after that.

• after that you stopped calling for good.

• you didn't answer your phone for him, you didn't answer texts- you walked by kiri without a glance when he was talking with Katsuki.

• he felt like he was falling apart.

• his daughter, the light of his life, had practically no relationship with his other half.

• it was hard.

• months after, Katsuki moved back home. And he stayed

• When bakugou arrived home, he stood on the front porch and knocked on the door

• you peaked outside before going to get kiri

"Theres someone at the door."

"Who is it?"

"I don't know," you shrug and you didn't

• you hadn't processed it was you other dad

• You'd avoided looking at pictures for so long

• and he'd changed so much

• you didnt recognize him

• kiri about has a panic attack when he answers the door

• the relationship was strained. Really strained.

• "So are you happy your dad is back?" Kiri smiled, sitting at the table

"Who said I wanted him to come back?"

Katsuki sighs. "Can you just-"

"No, I can't." You huff, picking up your school bag and heading out the door.

• he doesn't know what to do

• because it seems you genuinely have no interest in being around him

• getting to know him

• You call him Bakugou.

• you don't call him dad

• you don't talk to him. Or text him.

• Youre upset hut you're stuck pretending that you didnt care he was never around.

• he was your first heartbreak.

• And kiri- well Kiri is stressing out. You look miserable. Your temper was shorter.

• he'd watched you snap multiple times

"Well Dad waited her for/years/ while you fucked around for years. Don't you dare question his loyalty "

"He's bent over backwards to make you happy. Yell at him again. I dare you."

"You shouldn't even fucking be here. I'm sure your friends in bumfuck would love to have you though."

• Bakugou was lost, that much Kiri could tell.

• And kiri felt like everything was falling all over again.

• Nothing changed after Bakugou came home. He should've known that.

• its not until you see Kirishima crying one night, that you decide maybe you should try to tolerate him

• your chest clenches and you feel guilty

• so the next morning when Bakugiu asks how you slept, you shrug and tell him it was fine

• and you swallow your ego and pride to say goodbye to /both/ of them instead of just kiri

• and you accepted dinner instead of making yourself something

• you bit your tongue when you wanted to curse at him

• or when you wanted to yell

• You were civil

• you didn't go out of your way to be nice or anything- but you'd be civil for kiri.

• after all he sacrificed a lot for you.

• he was your dad, you'd do anything for him.

• a week after that, bakugiu sits across from you at the table

• he watches you tense up, keeping your eyes on the cereal in front if you

• "Can we talk?"

"Don't have much of a choice do I?" You mumble but nod.

"I'm sorry." He breathes. "I'm so fucking sorry."

"Its whatever-"

"No, its not. I made a mistake. A really big mistake and I thought that coming home every once in awhile would be fine. I thought that calling every night would make it okay, but I was too wrapped up in my career to see that the two loves of my life were struggling. And you had to deal with it practically alone. And I don't blame you for hating me. I don't. Just try to let me make it up to you."

You were quiet for a few moments, letting the words sink in. Your eyes stayes glued to the bowl. "It hurt." You mumble finally. "I needed you around and you weren't there. You're my father for fucks sake- there-" you sighed, leaning back in your chair. "It hurt dad more. Did you apologize to him already?"

"Yes, but we're not talking about him. This is about you "

You were quiet again. "I didn't know what to do. Its like we weren't important enough for you."

• in the end you agree to let him attempt to make it up to you

• after embarrassingly crying into his chest

• but it takes a lot of work

[ressyfaerie]

For the fandom ask: Beyblade ^^

OooOooOOohh I love these okay

1. Favourite female character

Well, theres not too many in beyblade LOL. But man do I love Ming. I'm pretty sure I had a crush on her when I was a kid before I realized i was *the gay*. Ever since the third pokemon movie I've been a big fan of the trope of girl is young and transforms into older version of herself to symbolize their desire to grow older and more mature. So I'm a big fan of her and her darker side.

Spoiler alert, I'm gonna include some of her in Tattoos soon!!

2. My favourite male character

If not everyone knows this I've failed. It is obviously our lord and saviour mr. Sourpuss himself. (Kai for anyone who missed the memo for the past 20 years)

3. My favourite season

It's always been a tough choice between one or g-rev. Season 1 is just such a cute perfect intro, but the Russian arc is just... fantastic it really is. Lots of people hate on the drawing style but I find it really unique and nostalgic! G rev deals with a lot of tough themes (specifically tala going after Boris and being hospitalized and the dangerous rivalry between brooklyn and kai, as well as tyson and kai discovering their weird connection to each other). The art style is a lot more polished and sparkly and slightly homoerotic so I'm a big fan.

I love both for completely opposite reasons so its tough to choose between them!

4. My favourite episode

Ooohhhhh tough so tough uuummmmm. Gimme a sec I'll shower and think about it.

So, upon further reflection, I've decided it's a hard decision between the episode in season 1 where Kai breaks into the abbey, or the episode in G-rev where kai gets tied up with rose thorns from the queer coded gay coach to teach him he can't run from his gay thoughts.

5. Favourite cast member

So like everyone thinks I'm gonna say tyson or ray or max or tala but HONESTLY

Kenny??? Like I LOVE HIM. Idk why hes like the one person i think I'd ever have a good relationship with in real life

Like Kenny is the badass of the team. Like without Kenny Tyson wouldn't have got through episode 1. Let's put it this way, the rest of the boys are just boys but kenny is THE MAN.

6. Favourite ship

Tyka.

Always and forever lmao

7. Character I’d die defending

Okay so like obviously Kai I'd light myself on fire to keep that man warm and actually everyone else who isnt an adult but MOSTLY

TALA.

Tala is the kid that's gone through the most trauma, let's get real here that kid deserves a hug, a found family, and some cocoa.

8. A character I just can’t sympathize with

Okay

Yes tysons dad is the worst honestly (even more so than voltaire if voltaire canonically put Kai in the abbey btw)

But also, and I am extremely set on this and it's why he is always the 'antagonist' to me.

HIRO

I understand that even if Hiro is canonically 18 (so hes still basically a child) he still came back into Tysons life as the adult figure and he pushes tyson the wrong way to get results.

Not ONE THING Hiro tried to teach Tyson actually stuck that wasn't accomplished through like … trauma?

He was the one person Tyson should have been able to truly rely on and I am a big believer that since he failed to do this, he was the biggest factor for Tyson's dark downfall in g rev.

Also, like if your brother needed comfort and help like why didnt you just… like...

Call your dad

?????

9. A character I grew to love

So yall prob already know this

But everyone got me into Bryan

Ugh I'm a big fan of the bisexual street badboys with religious trauma.

I especially love him in Tattoos.

I'm not sure how, since he says like 3 words in the series and everyone somehow manages to headcanon a similar version of him, the version I created for Tattoos is just fantastic.

Maybe he just fills the lack of older brother issues I have LOL

10. My anti OTP

So I ship nearly everything.

There’s not one immediate ship that comes to mind that I can say no absolutely not (except the obvious stuff)

I do find since we have such a wide range of characters and the fandom is so old we come across really traumatizing stuff occasionally. (Some fanart I saw of Tala and Boris a few years ago comes to mind oof ick yucky)

I used to be pretty anti RayxKai and KaixTala. But I think thats because back in the day KaixRay and tyka shippers used to be at each others throats. I was never involved much in the fandom in this time, but it was pretty extreme so I didn’t interact much. I also used to find they didn’t have much chemistry, but after being in the fandom longer I now see it and am more than willing to write fics for it when my askbox is open!

I used to be against KaixTala as well, from a psychological perspective (because I get way too into the psychology of childrens shows apparently????) I just found their personalities were both too negative and worried about them trauma bonding and never growing together. But I’ve read some stuff about them and (done some asks and ficlets for them) and I find the appeal now!

[negandarylsatisfaction]

[SUMMARY: After Negan kills Katherine's husband, four years later he comes across her in Alexandria with her son. With remorse and guilt Negan attempts to make it up to Katherine.]

[Inspired by Twd episode.]

Negan and Katherine.

It had been four years now that you had left Alexandria. Four years since you had seen your friends, since you had your son and since your husband was brutally killed. Making your way back to Alexandria was something you had not planned to do especially knowing that Negan was still there. Even with him locked up in a prison cell you couldnt take being anywhere near him and so you left. Now there was no choice for you but to come back, you no longer had a safe place for your son and you were willing to do anything you had to do to keep him safe.

Walking towards Alexandria with your son holding your hand beside you, you took a deep breath knowing you would soon see Negan. However, you were not expecting to come across him at the entrance, by himself, walking freely. As a truck drove off you suddenly found yourself a few feet away from Negan himself. His presence making you stop in your tracks, your blood began to boil. Negan looked like he had seen a ghost, he could see the fury in your eyes.

"Katherine.." his voice making the hair on your skin rise from the overwhelming feel of anger.

"I didnt escape, if that's what you think."

You couldnt bring yourself to speak, if he didnt escape, what the hell was he doing out here freely? Who the hell let him out? His eyes suddenly falling to your son beside you, a look of guilt taking over his expression. Nausea settling in the pit of your stomach before you pulled your son, Jasper closer to you.

"Mommy, who's that?" Jaspers voice making you finally let out a breath that you felt you had been unknowingly holding for the last minute. Shaking you quickly picked up your son and held him close as you

walked past Negan.

"Come on baby, let's get inside." Negan watched as you quickly rushed past him, his eyes never leaving you as you entered Alexandria.

"Shit.." Negan knew he was in for a rude awakening.

Angrily you walked inside rushing to find your friends. Daryl and Carol instantly looked at each other nervously knowing what they would have to now deal with.

"Hey little man," Daryl muttered with a smile to Jasper as you put him down beside you.

"Who let him out?" Wasting no time to get to the point you crossed your arms before them expecting an explanation. It had been four years since Daryl last saw your son but the moment was over taken with emotions with the sight of Negan.

"I had to do it," Carol whispered as you stared at her with a straight face.

"It was you?" Your voice was cold before realizing your son was looking up at you confused.

"I'll take him," Daryl picked him up and quietly left the room with him.

"How could you let that monster out?"

"Katherine, I did what I had to do. Alpha had to die, Negan was our only chance."

Looking away you pressed your lips together in disapproval, but what could you say?

"How long has he been free?"

"For the past year and hes been no trouble," Carol responded. She felt guilty knowing the pain this man caused you but truly felt in her gut it was her best option at the time. Quietly you nodded and crossed your arms before you.

"I understand," you whispered knowing you now had no choice but to deal with the presence of this man.

Daryl was in the kitchen sitting at the table with Jasper, you smiled watching him cut up apple slices for your son. Daryl looked up at the sound of you entering the room and smiled shyly.

"Smart kid," he muttered before eating a slice of the apple.

"Like his dad," you sat down across from Daryl looking over at your son.

"Listen, he ain't-"

"You guys did what you had to do." You interrupted him calmly.

"Alpha is gone. Alexandria is safe, that's all that matters. I just dont want him to be anywhere near my son and I."

Daryl nodded completely understanding how you felt.

"Yall could stay on my side if that'll make ya feel more comfortable," he suggested. You nodded in response feeling a sense of relief. It had been too long since you had seen your friends, it was bittersweet. Thinking of your husband Mathew you smiled looking at Jasper, there was so much resemblance between the two.

"Why dont I show you around, got some new folks that you should know."

"Sure," you stood up taking your sons hand and stepped outside with Daryl only to run into Negan outside talking to Carol. Negan looked at you for a moment before you took your son and quickly walked off.

"Just keep ya distance from em," Daryl muttered low to Negan who simply nodded with a straight face.

"How she doin?" Negan couldnt help himself but to ask. A lot had changed since you last saw him, his way of thinking, the way he acted with others, the kind of man he was. Negan had very much regret with many things in his life but one of his biggest things was killing your husband. Killing your husband and not knowing you were expecting a child made him feel like complete shit when he learned of it. He could only imagine how tough it had been for you.

"She'll be alright," Daryl whispered before following in your direction and introducing you to the others.

It had now been a couple of weeks living in Alexandria. Never did you let Jasper stay far from you, you didnt trust anyone let alone with Negan being around. Sitting in the garden you made, you had your son sit beside you playing with toys while you began to plant.

"Hey Miss Katherine, can Jasper play freeze tag with us?" A young girl just a few years older than Jasper had asked you with an innocent look. You looked over at your son and smiled with an nod.

"Just stay where I can see you, okay?"

"Ok mommy" Jasper ran off with Chloe and began to play. Negan was on his side organizing boxes of snacks for the town. He continued to work as time went on until he suddenly looked up and found Jasper standing a few feet away from him. He stared at Negan curiously making him swallow uncomfortably.

"Hey kid." Negan muttered low as the boy looked up at him.

"Jasper!" Negan suddenly looked up to find you running towards him and pulling your son back.

"What the hell are you doing?" You yelled at him making him lift his hands up innocently and take a step back.

"Jasper, didnt I tell you to stay where I could see you?" You crouched down to your son who looked at you quietly.

"I wanted a snack, mommy."

"I'll get you one in the house, Jasper."

"I want that one," he pointed at the box next to him. Negan hesitantly took a snack out of the box not being sure how youd react, and reached out giving you a bag of fruit. Roughly you grabbed the bag out of his hand and stood up as Negan sighed.

"Its just a bag of fruit-"

"Stay away from him!" You yelled as your son looked up at you in confusion.

"You think I'm gonna hurt the damn kid?" Negan took a step closer making you back away pulling your son tightly to you.

"Kat!" Daryl ran to you getting inbetween the both of you.

"Come on let's just get inside," Daryl led you away from Negan. You couldnt take your eyes off him as you walked away, you couldnt help the anxious fury he suddenly would make you feel. Negan knew you had every reason to feel the way you felt, he couldn't imagine how hard it was for you having to see him near you but Negan wanted you to know he felt remorse.

"I was just trying to give the damn kid what he wanted," Negan muttered to Carol as he watched you walked off.

"Its best you keep your distance-"

"She thinks I'm gonna fucking hurt her kid." Negan turned to Carol with furrowed brows.

"I've done a lot of stupid shit but hurt a kid or his mother, I dont fucking think so."

"Negan, you killed her husband."

"I fucking know what I did-" he snapped at Carol before storming off.

Daryl led you to where you slept and tried convincing you Negan wouldnt harm your child but you couldnt trust him. Your anger towards him was still fresh. You hadn't truly got to see Negan the way the others had and truth be told you didnt care to. The next few days you stayed as far as you could from Negan. Here and there he would look at you wishing you'd hear what he had to say. He saw how protective you were of your son, you looked alot tougher from when he last saw you.

That late evening Daryl had gone on a run. Alexandria was quiet and everyone was inside. Taking a nap in bed you held your son close falling into a deep sleep, such a deep sleep you didnt feel him get up from bed. About an hour later you began to move around and slowly realized you didnt feel your son beside you. Your eyes flung open, practically jumping out of the bed.

"Jasper?" You screamed out going around the house, every closet, every room, but he was nowhere to be found.

"Jasper! Jasper! Where are you?!" You screamed running out of the house. Something you feared for so long was happening in this moment.

"Jasper!" You screamed again when Negan began to hear your screams from inside. Carol ran and found you frantically running, searching for your son.

"Katherine, relax-where did you last see him?" Carol grabbed you as you panted and Negan showed up behind you.

"He was sleeping-he was asleep. I-I just woke up and he was gone. It's late, where the hell could he have gone?" You looked around you anxiously when Chloe suddenly came running from the entrance.

"Guys! Its Jasper-"

"Oh God, what?"

"We went out to play hunt together and um his foot got trapped under a rock- I'm sorry miss Katherine-"

"Where is he Chloe?" You asked in a shakey voice.

"Hes by the river." She answered with big worried brown eyes.

"The river?"

"I know where he is," Negan spoke making you look over at him.

"I'm going alone."

"Its dark out there, and you dont even know where the hell to go" Negan insisted.

"I'll manage," you responded stubbornly.

"Katherine...he has a point. Its dark and Negan does know the area. He won't hurt you or your boy." Carol whispered assuring you Negan could be trusted with this making you give in.

"Let's go," you walked off before Negan as he followed. It was dark in the woods as the two of you quietly made your way to the river. Negan couldnt imagine the fear you felt in that moment. Tears silently falling down your face, he really felt bad for you. He knew you had been through enough.

"Hes gonna be alright," Negan attempted to comfort you as you walked beside him.

"Do me a favor and dont talk to me, dont-" you stepped on a rock and lost your balance making you gasp. Negan caught you by your arm not letting you hit the floor, not letting you go till you were balanced on your feet.

"I'm fine," you pulled your arm back as you continued to walk. You could hear the water from where you were, you could tell you were close and began to move faster.

"Careful, sweetheart theres some steep hills in this area."

"Jasper?" You called out before quickly spotting his jacket beside him.

"Mommy!"

"Oh my god, Jasper-" you ran to him and dropped to your knees observing how his foot was stuck underneath the rock. Right away you noticed your son was on the edge of a very steep and dangerous hill. Negan took it upon himself to carefully get around you and lifted up the heavy rock off your sons foot.

"You okay, baby? Can you stand up?" Jasper struggled to stand as you held onto him when he suddenly slipped and was just about to fall deep into the hill.

"Jasper!" You screamed as he slipped through your fingers. Negan moved quickly and caught your son by his wrist.

"Got cha," Negan groaned as he slowly pulled him back up to you. Jasper got back on his feet, you quickly pulled him away from the edge.

"Are you okay?" You whispered looking at him worriedly, checking his body for any scrapes or bumps.

"I'm ok," you sighed as you grabbed his face gently.

"Baby I told you, you cant be doing these things. You're scaring mommy, I dont know what I'd do if anything happened to you." Your voice cracked as Negan stood behind you.

"I'm sorry.." your son looked at you with guilty puppy dog eyes.

"You gotta stay with your mom, kid. Shes just trying to protect you." Negan suddenly spoke crouching down beside you to talk to your son. You didnt look his way, you didnt say a word to him, you didnt know how to react.

"Come on, let's get home." You whispered before you stood up and carried your son through the woods. Negan was alert with your surroundings, hell he made sure to stand close behind you just incase you missed a step. You werent sure how to feel after what had just happened. What were you suppsoe to do, lie to yourself? Negan had been helpful to find your son safely, Negan saved him. Once the two of you got on steady ground you felt Jasper fall asleep on you. Negan looked around on the road to make sure there was no one near. Pressing your lips together, you rubbed your sons back thinking of the horrible scare you just went through. Thinking of what could've happened if Negan wasnt with you. If Negan didnt grab him...

"Thank you," you whispered making Negan look over at you in surprise. Still with all his guilt he didnt think he deserved a thank you from you.

"The least I could do," Negan responded in a rugged voice before the two of you reached Alexandria.

"The hell happened?" Daryl rushed towards you having just returned from a run and hearing you had left with Negan.

"Negan saved Jasper," you responded softly leaving him shocked.

"I'm going to lay him down." The two men watched as you quietly walked inside before looking back at each other.

"I still need to have a talk with her." Negan admitted making Daryl nod.

"Go ahead, ima put the supplies away." Daryl walked off as Negan hesitantly made his way inside the house.

Negan stepped into the house with you quietly closing the bedroom door behind you, a soft gasp escaping your lips at the sight of Negan.

"I....Negan-"

"I just need you to listen to what I have to say. Please." His eyes were filled with desperation, a look you never thought you would see on him.

"I know what I did and I know nothing can fucking change it, not an apology, not my word but I need you to know-" your eyes welled up as he spoke, quickly he looked away not being able to take the heartbroken look you had. Clearing his throat he turned back to you and took a step closer.

"If I could take back what I did...I fucking would. I ask to be taken every God damn day for what I did to you...to you and your son." He stared directly into your soul as his eyes teared up. The look of despair magnified as he spoke.

"I cant imagine the pain I caused you, Katherine and I know you'll never fucking forgive me but please know...I'm not that man anymore. I dont even know who that was, "he whispered roughly.

"I think about that night...how sick you looked, how you just needed help, you were fucking pregnant and I just....I fucked up." A tear dropped from your eyes making you quickly look away. Negans voice broke as he spoke.

"I know you wont be able to forgive me but I just needed you to hear this. You dont have to talk to me, you dont even have to look at me. But know from this day forward I will keep both you and your son protected with every fucking thing in me. You have my word. " Negan rubbed his hand over his face and left the house leaving you alone with your conflicted feelings and your conflicted thoughts. Of course, you werent ready to fully face this man and deal with him but him saving your son put certain things in a different perspective. Negan pouring his feelings out to you in such a raw form made you think. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but eventually you can be more accepting of Negan being in your life.