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androgynousblackbox · 2 months

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The Horror of our Love. 3 [Radioapple, Appleradio]

Rosie

"Well, that was a lot. Probably a lot more than I ever wanted to know about, but it did answer a few questions at least.

The thing that killed everyone at the castle was this Lucifer monster. Professor Magne found a way to make it so they could leave the school, but before that felt like having a little massacre because why the hell not. I guess he just felt bored or wanted to commemorate the occasion. With that guy, it could have been either.

I always suspected that he was one fucked up man. Any wizard who is so dedicated to teaching Defense Against Dark Arts is not well in the head, I don't care what anyone says. Always way too comfortable telling us about the absolute worst that could happen if we weren't careful enough, if we didn't listen to him, with as much details as he could cram in. As if he was just waiting for the chance for us to fail only so he could laugh about it. Everyone always told me I was just paranoid because I didn't like the class, that I was too harsh for no reason, that Professor Magne had never harmed a fly. When he got that little naga he always kept in a cage next to his desk, people would even say that it was cute because he obviously took good care of that thing. Never believed that act, not for one second.

And yet, somehow, I never saw this one coming. The murdering people already while he was a student did take me by surprise, but not as much as the obsession with a cursed wizard whose only purpose was to kill people from the girl's bathroom. How does that even happen? We never heard about anything like it while we were there. You would think something like would trickle down, even if it's just a legend, but there was nothing like it.

Anyway, that is not important. First things first, we had to corroborate each of those deaths.

A janitor had disappeared around the same time when Professor Magne was in the year the journal told us about. One day he just wasn't there anymore. The theory back then is that he got drunk and drowned in the lake, where the sirens devoured his body. Apparently he just never liked the merfolk so he was happy to yell insults at them and... pee on the lake. I guess because they couldn't get out the water that made him feel strong or something. Fuck if I know. They only found one of his feet floating on the water. There were clear teeth marks on them so, case was closed. It's not like everyone was going to lose sleep wondering what happened to the guy. Definitely not family or friends that could demand a more thorough investigation. One less lone bastard in the world is hardly worth more than one article in a newspaper.

The professor that mishandled the creatures under his care was only slightly different. Official story is that he disappeared on an excursion to try to get some eggs of some creature whose name I can't even pronounce. He left a note behind and everything. That makes no sense, doesn't it? If that guy brought him down promising something else, at what moment did he write that note? One that conveniently was giving him an alibi? Unless someone could forge his same lettering and make that up to cover his absence, that is. No body was ever found. Nobody cried too much for him in the newspapers, his search wasn't a huge priority. Headmaster Sera had some words of comfort about how dedicated that asshole was to his job and that was it. She couldn't pretend to care more than that. Not that I blame her either. Fuck that guy, he sounded like a piece of work. Case closed.

The journal confirmed for us both their names. He didn't thought they were relevant for his story because, and I quote, "takes away some of the mystery away" with a fucking smiley face in the end. As if we need the fucking help of the messed up soul of a teenager for that one.

Speaking of the journal, Anthony is back to messing with it. He... he keeps asking the same kind of fucking questions and never getting satisfied with the response. At first the journal was more or less direct, but I think it caught on what Anthony wanted and just goes in completely different tangents that are irrelevant to the question. I guess it recognizes our ways of writing by now. With me is still pretty straight forward, but Anthony is only messing around. He could be inquiring about what was Professor Magne's favorite part at school and the thing is going to wax poetic about how gorgeous the scales of Luci were under the fire, to keep edging him on.

No, I am not going to repeat what Anthony wants to know. I don't know why he wants to know that of all things and, in my opinion, I can go happily to my grave without ever having that cleared for me. I am already aware that this guy is a violent murderer and a total nutjob, that he is a danger for anyone who stays around him for long. I don't need to add anything else to the list, especially not something as gross as if he fucked the snake or not.

I would rather Avada Kedavra myself before hearing a single thing about the sex life of this man. Did you hear that, Anthony? Pout all you want, this is too much even for you, and I am not helping you with that bullshit. How is that supposed to help us here?

He is grabbing the journal again. Literally why. Don't blame me when that thing keeps fucking with you.

Anyway, where was I?

Yes, speaking about what we learned because of that long ass story he told us. Finding out the name of that little girl he had was a piece of cake.

Rosie, or Rosetta, Clara Barkin. The professor we had for Care of Magical Creatures. Anthony says that she was always cool to talk to. The girls and some of the boys especially adored her because she sometimes invited students to tea parties in her cabin near the school. Giving them advice for their little dramas and romantic endeavors. Apparently nobody had a single bad thing to say about her while she was there. I don't know what to tell you, so take his word for it. I only ever dated two people while I was a student, one of them is still here with me, and did it completely on my own, so I guess I never really needed those off school meetings from her. I only saw her during our classes. She was good at explaining things, I suppose? That is the most I could tell you about my experience with her. I had way shittier professors I could talk more about.

Although... If she knew all this was what was happening underneath the school or helped that piece of shit in any way, I might be inclined to think otherwise. She definitely knew about the giant snake. She knew about the murder of that professor, even encouraged it. The only saving grace she has is that she never actually did a killing herself. That we know of, for now. We are talking about 20 years of difference since that journal was created until now. A woman that is that gleeful about feeding the fingers of a dead man to her cat could do a lot of things in that time, and I can't imagine that all of them are going to be good.

Anthony told me that she was always kinda creepy, so he is not exactly surprised either. Creepy but nice is what he said.

She was close to Professor Magne, that I remember clearly. Always sitting next to each other on the table for every meal, always gossiping between each other as they laughed. No doubt talking shit about everyone else. She was the only professor I ever saw him giving a hug to as well as receiving it without glaring at them. The one I know of was not only allowed to enter his office whenever she wanted, whether he was there or not, but also to hold the baby naga he had outside of her cage. One time the school nurse asked him to and professor Magne just flat out said no before telling the man to go. Smiling as usual on that freaky I am done with you way that he had every time his patience was running thin. The fact that professor Barking and him knew each other since they were children is the least surprising fun fact to come out of this.

She wasn't there the night of the massacre. She had quit her job right after the final day of class to go live on a reservation meant for the care of dragons. As far anyone at school knew, she was comfortably living in South America with her wife. Then, just three years back, she and her wife both died from exposure to venom that wasn't treated fast enough. That is what the newspaper's obituary said. I think I had to use a translator. I barely know a few Italian words because of Anthony and I am pretty sure most of them are insults.

Naturally, our next task was to see if she had actually died. Considering what we found out last time, I believe my doubt was more than warranted. She was a respected member of the community of dragon handlers in the area, so it didn't take much for us to find her and her wife's grave. One plaque, two different names. We were digging out two for the price of one this time. Great.

Luckily for us, they were on the burial site of professor Barkin's muggle side of the family. There were no special protections to go through. Setting up an illusion spell in order for the guard to not notice a thing was a piece of cake. The only piece of cake we were allowed to have. You try to take out two heavy caskets from the same hole in the middle of the night. Even with magic, that was such a pain in the ass.

But it was worth it. You know why? Because there was fucking nothing inside of any of them. Just rocks. They didn't even bother putting on a fake body. No poor schmuck died for this. So, wherever professor Barkin and her wife are, I am running with the theory right now that they are with him or working with him. Doing who knows what.

I tried to investigate if there has been an uptake on mysterious deaths ever since professor Barkin was there, but I couldn't find shit. One handler that was accused of selling dragon eggs to the black market was found dead on his bed. He worked in the same location as her. They believe a heart attack during sleep. That was it. Unless her main victims were muggles, in which case I am even more limited than before. For muggles she was just the owner of a butcher shop that people liked. There is not a single mention of her from that side beyond that. A business woman who wasn't around a lot, but when she was nobody had a fucking bad thing to say about her. Of course.

We returned everything to how it was and came back home. I don't rule out either that professor Barkin wasn't there the night of the massacre, we just didn't know about it. I didn't want to believe that woman could be just as fucked up as Magne, but something is fishy, no doubt about it.

Speaking of Magne... would you be surprised to know that wasn't his original last name? When I saw the name scratched out in the journal, I immediately thought that was the maiden name of his mom. His father sounded like a piece of shit for the looks of it. Mine wasn't a ray of sunshine either, so I can't say I don't understand the impulse of putting as much distance as you can to not be associated with them.

Thank goodness I actually went to check it out. Just to have all the facts straight, you know? Didn't expect much from it. That is how I found out that her mom's maiden name was Moraine. So where the fuck does Magne come from, right? It could have been just a better sounding name than Abbadon that he chose as a kid and stuck with the rest of his life. But it wasn't.

You see, that was the last thing we had to look into because I knew it was going to involve a lot of fucking reading. When you go so far back on any family tree, you have to ask permission from libraries and documents and ask questions and bla bla bla. Digging graves is not nice, but it's something that you can just do and be done with it. To start researching this kind of stuff I have to sit down and I just feel like doing homework again.

The fact that the snake told the professor that they were distant relatives immediately picked my interest. It took a little bit of work, but I finally found the connection. There was a Magne family tree line connected to the Abbadons. One that included a single lone branch with the name Lucifer. The seven kids on his same line were there with their own portraits, but he had been burned away, eliminated, as if every document was cursed to never contain his image. They probably were. Old families would have stupid bullshit like that whenever one of their members sneezed the wrong way. My dad told me that his great great grandpa was treated the same for knocking up some muggle girl and marrying her.

Unfortunately, the bad part about your family trying so hard to forget you exist is that they make it hard for outsiders to know why it happened. The thing with my great great grandpa was kept all under wraps, a family secret that would have been a scandal back then. Everyone else was told that he was studying abroad until they stopped talking about him altogether.

I found out that the Magnes used to live in a rural area close to a muggle's town and then they didn't because the muggles kicked them out. Not a single mention about Lucifer being the responsible for it or any mention about him at all. Literally just a name under a burn out image, while the rest of his brothers kept reproducing and continuing the family line. Sending their own children to become the little tyrants of their own uncle as a treat while they were at school. I am not even sure if they knew that. According to the journal, it took a considerable amount of time for the snake to ever say any of that to professor Magne. Maybe he was too ashamed of his punishment to say anything. Or he might have even tried to and they just didn't care, not as long he did what was told. I don't know which one is worse.

All of that is legitimately so fucked up. Don't get me wrong, fuck professor Magne all the way for thinking he can just hurt people because he wants to, but if that snake was truly Lucifer Magne and he had a wife and a kid on the way and his own family treated him like that... Well, I am not made of stone either. What can I say, I feel bad for the guy. It's one thing to choose to be a monster. Another one is when you are forced into it. Professor Magne always had an option, but Lucifer did not from everything I can see. Even now. If he is still with professor Magne, and that assumes he didn't just eat the guy already, then he is still just being controlled the same way in a different way.

If you spend that much time alone and abandoned by everyone you know, you learn to take whatever you can take even if you don't really want it. Including annoying kids with a fucking obssession over you. That is something, right? At least you are not forgotten anymore. I don't know how much blame to put on Lucifer here, as a person, I mean. The journal is adamant in saying that its creation was for him, to help Lucifer, but, and maybe this is my own reading, I don't really get the sense that Lucifer would have chosen a tiny psychopath as his savior if he could.

But at this point I might be just imagining things. We are talking about multiple generations back, many fucking years in the past. The man that legitimately only wanted to help people with his magic could have died a long time ago. Leaving behind only a beast that is tied down by a member of the same family that cursed him, doing his betting, still being used. Not the kind of ending I would wish for a lot of people. It's just sad to think about. I would have rather died than keep living that humiliation, if there was anything mine left inside.

That kid in the journal can talk about love all day and night. I think he just saw what he wanted to see, a killing machine that he could control to his every whim. With some weird kink in the middle that I am not going to get into because fuck that shit. A man like that I don't think knows shit what love is. He might like someone, but that is about it.

If he really wanted to help Lucifer, he could have told the faculty staff. He could have gathered other wizards to find some way to break the curse, instead of just keeping him as a secret. So many things could have gone differently here without ever needing to kill anyone.

As a little kid I get it, you don't think about those things. It's just fun to have something for yourself. Having a place that nobody else knows and a buddy that only gets to play with you. It makes you feel special. But then he became an adult, our professor, and still chose to keep him in the dark. Why? Because if he actually went to get help for Lucifer, real help, that would mean more eyes on him that wouldn't take so kindly to all the blood and eating dead bodies freshly killed. On top of giving the poor guy an option to actually leave and have a life of his own. That would cut professor Magne's fun. And we wouldn't want that, don't we? You need to eliminate the bodies you take some way, after all.

The more I learn about the guy, the less I like it.

In any case, it's too late to worry about that now. Maybe the snake already killed him. Maybe he killed the snake. Maybe they have some fucked up stockholm kind of dynamic where Lucifer doesn't have anything else, so might as well take this. Either way, not my problem for now.

What is my problem is the info that one of my sources passed to me. I received the letter a week ago while me and Anthony were away, looking into the family stuff. There is a lead that could take us somewhere.

You see, I don't believe that the journal was the only time that professor Magne did something like that. Divide his soul to put it somewhere else. If it was he would haven't have let it go so easily, right? A guy like that wouldn't commit such an obvious mistake, unless he had others to concern himself with. That way, someone can destroy the journal and it won't matter much for him.

I don't know how many others there are. Literally none of the research I have been doing tells me to what limit there could be on a soul to do something like that. Nobody ever needed to answer that particular question before, I imagine. But it's not an infinite resource either, so he must have just stopped doing it at some point. We could be talking about 10, 20 or even just 5. The journal just said that he was still thinking it over when he made the first one. As if killing and slowly cutting away one's humanity was just some experiment to carry on to see what happens. The more pieces we manage to collect, the closer we are to knowing what happened to him.

I had some people looking around in places where we could find another one. Old antique shops, second hand stores, cursed items, enchanted ones. It could be anything at all, but we know at least that is an object and, if we are lucky, he won't be paying any more attention to it than it did with the notebook. We have that as an advantage.

A few days ago there were reports of an old radio that was donated to some old ladie's store. The radio itself looked to be in pretty conditions for what it was, although heavier than other radios. It doesn't have a cable to connect to anything nor batteries inside, but the old lady thinks the thing is haunted because at night, just when she is about to close the store, she swears over her life that the radio turns on. Sometimes it is just a nice melody, other times it's something whistling the melody, but on some rare occasions there is a voice speaking.

The voice of a man that speaks longingly about someone called Luci.

All that is fine and good, if it weren't for the little detail that this woman was just a muggle lady that was getting scared out of her mind. She called an exorcist, for fuck's sake. Made quite a bit of noise in her neighborhood talking about the weird haunted radio that she was donated to like it was any other, without any previous warning of what it was. That is how my own sources came to hear about it. The Luci portion was something they could gather only after speaking with the priest that tried to clean the old radio. Apparently they dumped a bunch of holy water on top and the radio just laughed at them. Laughed for 5 entire minutes. They counted them.

Even if the name hasn't come out, I feel like that alone would have been a certain give away. He would find it very funny to be the cause of muggle's superstitious fears. I will go look for the thing and then we can see what it can tell us."

#appleradio #radioapple #duckiedeer #hazbin hotel au #lucifer x alastor #harry potter au

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featherskies · 1 year

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Look who just woke up- is that ANTHONY TURPEL? No, I must have been mistaken, that’s JACAERYS VELARYON from HOUSE OF THE DRAGON. I heard she is 23 and stuck here just like everyone else. Even in the 20’s, they still give off a A BENT KNEE TO THE RIGHTFUL QUEEN, CONSTANTLY BEING QUESTIONED, FEELING THE DESIRE TO PROVE EVERYONE WRONG impression. They’re known to be quite PROTECTIVE, but have a tendency to be HYPOCRITICAL on their bad days.

Gender/Pronouns :

Jace is a cis-male, and his pronouns are he/him

How long have they been in Sydney :

Jace has been in Sydney for the past three years but in his fake life he has lived in Sydney his whole life.

Which suburb do they live in?

Jace has a small apartment in the rocks, but he usually spends all his time at the beach allowing Arrax to have room to strech his wings, or he is usually with other people close to him, crashing with them.

Personality description :

Jace has always been loyal, and stubborn and steadfast. He has always held his honor into more importance than anything else. Being back in Kings Landing, had been full of judgement of stares of critiques for his mother, for him, for even his brothers. But those stares, and the judgements had never affected how Jace saw himself. He had always seen himself as a true Targaryen and Velaryon. And he had plans to take that throne when it had been rightfully his. So despite, the stares and the comments and the jeers, he had remained neutral. Not giving anyone a chance to judge him for his own actions when their opinions had been made.

Here in Sydney, he shares those similar traits. He remains neutral in many public settings even if he knows the people surrounding him are not those who understood his past, and who he once was. He remains fiercly loyal to the people around him who have shown him love and acceptance and grace. As well, as continuing to make sure he demonstrates behavior that would make both his mother and father proud of the man that he had become.

Memories of their real life :

Jace comes from the moment that he flew away on his dragon to head north. He remembers everything that had haunted him for so long in his real world. He remembers loosing his father... and his father... time after time again feeling as if he was no longer able to form any meaningful relationship knowing what would happen to them after that. He remembers the jeers, the snickers, the mentions of the word ‘bastards’ as he passed people who were supposed to respect the true meaning of the heir to the iron throne.

He remembers their time spent on Driftmark when everything had changed for the worse, when the rift between his mother and his grandmother, he supposed, had come to a headway. When the drift between him, Luke and their cousins became too deep to cross.

And he supposes, that not every moment was bad. He remembers the days spent training with Luke on the shores of Dragonstone, of spending time around a great stone table with his mother, Daemon, and all the others who had pledged loyalty... he just hopes everyone will be okay knowing he never returned to Dragonstone.

What was their fake life like :

tbd after slight more plotting. looking for long term friends that he had growing up, who would be super accepting of him.

Theme Song

talking to the moon by bruno mars

Quote

“i know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death. they continue to participate, in every act, thought and decision we make. their love leaves an undeniable print in our memories. we find comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by having shared their love”

#jace ; interacts #jace ; intro

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jessicafurseth · 2 years

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Reading List, Frost Moon edition.

[Image by Kat Wlodarczyk, via The Outdoor Swimming Society]

"In 1981, Anthony Kline helped send a juvenile offender to prison for four decades. This year, in a twist of fate, he had a chance to decide her case again." A brilliant story and stunning journalism. [Jesse Barron, The New York Times]

Another riveting tale, on a very different topic: Why Did Jamie Spears Push Britney Into a Conservatorship? [Kerry Howley, Vulture]

The Joan Didion Estate Sale Was Madness. [Danielle Cohen, The Cut]

“You have a problem, and you have a solution, but you’re in that strange limbo where you don’t feel exactly burdened by the problem and you don’t have a solution. You’re in that atmosphere between these two poles. And in that atmosphere, you’re going to come up with something. And that’s sort of like that emptiness. It’s like that void, that nothingness. And I find myself there right now.” The radical hope of Patti Smith [Chloe Cooper Jones, Harpers Bazaar]

“I feel I’ve sort of arrived at this much clearer place, and either I can go, ‘Now I’ve arrived at the much clearer place, and now I’m done,’ or, it seems to me, there’s the whole thing to be done again with this clarity. I probably have too many scruples. Pretty much everyone should shut up—that is absolutely clear.” - Rachel Kusk, interviewed by Thomas Chatterton Williams in The Atlantic

An Alaskan Town Is Losing Ground—and a Way of Life [Emily Witt, The New Yorker]

It's Time to Bring Back the AIM Away Message [Lauren Goode, Wired]

"To lament the end of the manual transmission is to eulogize much more than shifting gears. When the manual dies, little about driving will fall away that hasn’t already been lost. But we’ll lose something bigger and more important: the comfort of knowing that there is one essential, everyday device still out there that you can actually feel operating." [Ian Bogost, The Atlantic]

"Legends tell of an echoless chamber in an old Minneapolis recording studio that drives visitors insane. I figured I’d give it a whirl." Could You Survive the ‘Quietest Place on Earth’? [Caity Weaver, The New York Times]

"We've been at least seven different people to each other in our relationship. I think it's just a coincidence and dumb luck that we've been able to grow and change together. One of the really amazing things about my husband is that if I'm not working, he calls me out on it. He's often said to me, look, you don't have to work if you don't want to, but I signed up to marry an artist, and that's not what you are right now. For both of us, it's been a really strong and powerful aspect of our relationship, that we understand what it means to be an artist and how an artist needs to prioritize work." Laurie Simmons, interviewed in Passerby [Clemence Poles]

What’s the Right Amount of Garlic in a Recipe? MORE THAN THEY SAY. [Bettina Makalintal, Eater]

If you liked Katherine May's book "Wintering", you'll love her newsletter, Stray Attention

#reading list

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kirain · 4 years

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I started playing rdr2 but stopped because like idk but I can't seem to get over the fact that all the women are prostitutes and they don't really have any important roles. Like what's Abigail do? Ooh she's a mother who's always mad? What do the other women do? Oooh they sleep with the gang. What's Sadie do? Oooh she becomes a badly written femme fetale who suddenly becomes a flawless killer. The women are just so badly represented.

I get the feeling you didn't play the game naturally or see any random encounters, because none of what you said is true. There's a lot to unpack here, so let's start with the "all the women are prostitutes" comment.

First of all, none of the women are prostitutes, a fact that deeply irritates Micah. During a coach robbery where he rides with Arthur and Bill, he even says, “Why the hell do we need a gaggle of girls who won’t even fuck you if you put a gun to their head? Is it too much to ask considering they get a piece of every damn dollar I bring in?” Poor baby. He even tries to proposition all of the women (Grimshaw included), but they all insult him and send him running with his tail between his legs. It’s hilarious and I love it. Arthur also responds to Micah with, “Everyone does their share. I don’t see you lifting a finger around camp.”

Now a bit about the girls:

Mary-Beth was a skilled pickpocket, but she ended up being caught by a group of her victims. She mentions this during a conversation with Arthur, where she points out how hard it was for women who came from nothing, and the inequality of it all. RDR2 actually regularly highlights how difficult frontier/outlaw life was for women back then, often pulling zero punches. While fleeing her pursuers, Mary-Beth luckily ran into Hosea, who helped her escape and welcomed her to the gang. You can see Dutch lusting after her a few times, because he's an old pervert, but she always shuns his advances. She was never a prostitute and she was actually underage when she joined.

Tilly was a child outlaw and a member of the Forman gang from the age of twelve. She ended up killing the leader's cousin because he [as is heavily implied] tried to rape her. She was around sixteen at the time and tried to return to her mother after the ordeal, but she unfortunately passed away while Tilly was running with the Formans. Out of options, she eventually joined the van der Linde gang after Dutch saved her from some unspecified trouble. You can find most of this out during one of my favourite side missions, where she gets kidnapped by Anthony Foreman in retaliation for killing his cousin. With Grimshaw’s help, you can rescue Tilly and put an end to it once and for all. She was never a prostitute and was also underage when taken in.

Susan Grimshaw was one of the original members of the gang and one of Dutch's first lovers. They parted amicably and both fell in love with other people (Dutch with Annabelle, and Susan with a doctor who sadly ended up dying), but she stayed with the gang because of their mutual respect for each other. She later became the arbiter of the camp and a kind of surrogate mother to Arthur, John, and the other girls. She was never a prostitute, but rather a rough-and-tumble outlaw.

Karen is a little more complicated. Overall, she was a scam artist (Hosea even called her an “actress”) who sometimes lured men into brothels, then stole from them or picked their brains for leads. That doesn't necessarily mean she was a prostitute; however, it just means she used sex as a manipulation tactic. Out of all the women in the group, she was the freest and most unconventional. She also stood on guard duty and participated in heists. The only man she ever slept with in game was Sean, and his death absolutely devastated her. If you talk to her or observe her interactions, you also discover she’s a raging alcoholic suffering from some very deep-seated issues. She likely did have to do things she wasn’t proud of in order to survive, but in my opinion that makes her one of the most realistic members of the group. She was never described as a prostitute.

Molly was an aristocrat who left her family to be with Dutch. His abusive treatment eventually led her to suffer an identity crisis, where she ended up hysterical and heartbroken. Her story is sad, but she was never a prostitute. If anything, Molly is the best example we have that Dutch views people as items, not human beings.

Abigail is the only prostitute in the game, but by the events of RDR2 she's an ex-prostitute. To say she's nothing more than "a mother who's always mad", I feel, does her character a great disservice. First of all, she left that profession behind to raise her son, to give him a decent chance in life. Unlike John, she stepped up immediately to become a responsible adult. I don't think people realise how impressive that is because, one, she could've easily abandoned Jack at the roadside (which was common back then), two, she could've induced an abortion, and three, she was quite young when she had him; around nineteen years old.

You say the women are "poorly represented", but they're stronger, smarter, and more mature than most of the men. A few of them even become self-sufficient in the turn of the century, something dear old Dutch couldn't even do/accept. Abigail in particular helps Sadie mourn her husband and the two grow very close. Their interactions are both grounded and heartwarming, with Abigail telling Sadie she’ll suffer the loss of her husband, but that it’ll get better if she keeps on living. She takes care of her, and Sadie later returns that kindness. These women are so full of quirks and humour and personality, I don’t know how you missed it.

As for Sadie ... where do I even begin? Badly written? Femme fatale? Flawless killer? Sadie is one of the best written characters. She's not flawless, she's exceptionally flawed, temperamental, and traumatised. It's never expressly stated, but it's implied at several points throughout the game that she was repeatedly assaulted while the O'Driscolls kept her captive. At first, she's petrified and miserable, to the point that all she does is cry and express suicidal ideation. Then, she gets angry. Very angry. Having nothing left to live for, her home and husband torn from her grasp, she throws herself headfirst into danger, which almost gets her killed on a number of occasions.

She's not a "flawless killer", she's a messy killer. She's not an expert death-dealer, and that's made evident from the start -- but she was a hunter who shared the workload with her husband, so it's not as if her skills just magically appeared. You do see how much it weighs on her, however, near the end of chapter six. If you help her kill the rest of the O'Driscolls, she laments what she's become because she thinks her husband would be horrified. She’s extremely complex and struggles between mourning and moving on.

I also can't help but laugh at the "femme fatale" accusation, because Sadie actually defeminises herself, which is understandable considering the hell she’s suffered. She even wears men's clothing, which wasn't illegal [anymore] back then, but it was openly frowned upon. Femme fatales use their beauty and sexuality to their advantage, ensnaring men with their feminine wiles. Sadie never does that and fights side-by-side with the boys. Interestingly enough, that's partially why Calamity Jane, an actual historical figure, garnered so much attention, because of how she behaved/dressed. It’s pretty clear to me that Rockstar might’ve used her as inspiration for Sadie. This was a real woman who lived from 1852 to 1903.

In addition, Sadie plays one of the most important roles, yet she does so without falling into the category of a Mary-Sue. She saves the gang and moves them to a new location when the Pinkertons attack Shady Belle. She hatches the plan that frees John from prison. She helps Arthur rescue Abigail after she gets kidnapped. She tracks down Micah and puts an end to his reign of terror. But most of what she does she accomplishes with a partner--Arthur or John--both of whom she respects immensely. No one, not even Arthur, does everything alone, and when they do there’s usually negative consequences. It's the camaraderie and shared experiences that make these characters successful, and aside from Charles and Hosea, I’d even argue that the women are more well-rounded and fleshed out than the men.

I gather from for comments that you didn't finish the game, so I hate to spoil it, but I kind of have to if you walked away with this mindset. The women of RDR2 are a force to be reckoned with.

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annathesillyfriend · 3 years

Text

Anna's April Fic Recs ✨

Hello everyone, wellcome to my April fic recommendations (part 1) masterpost! This is a new thing I want to try to do and create a list like that twice a month. It really pains me that the amazing authors out there don't get the recognition they dereserve so I'm gonna do what I can to spread my love for them. I also hope more people will get to experience the joy of reading all these wonderful works!

To all the writers - I love you and I appreciate you so much! To all the readers - please, share the fics you read and love. The reblog really makes the change! It's the least we could do to show our gratitude.

Without further ado, here are the fic I read this month and adored

MARVEL

Bucky Barnes

Take a chance on me by @jurassicbarnes

one-shot, single mum!au, fwb to lovers

Bucky's game nights by @eurynome827

series, slow burn, they're playing games with their hearts

Baby fever by @youlightmeupfinn

one-shot, who wouldn't want that man as their baby daddy?

All yours by @babyboibucky

one-shot, 18+, tfatws!Bucky

A single thread by @jobean12-blog

one-shot, coffeeshop with Buck

New adventures by @celestialbarnes

one-shot, best friends to lovers

Beautiful girl by @borkingbarnes

one-shot, a morning with Buck

Erase every trace by @angrythingstarlight

one-shot, 18+, tfatws!Bucky

What you need by @buckycuddlebuddy

one-shot, 18+, best friend and roommate!Bucky, a cam is involved 👀

Cookies, kisses and such by @sweetbucky

one-shot, friends to lovers

The Match by @/babyboibucky

series, ceo!bucky

Policework by @jurassicbarnes

one-shot, police detectives!au

Eyes on you by @kleohoneyao3

one-shot, 18+

Take me as I am, whoever I am by @/jurassicbarnes

one-shot, 18+

Greedy by @/babyboibucky

one-shot, 18+, hot hot hot!

Destructive by @buckybarnesdiaries

one-shot, Bucky's scared of his feelings

Sunday kinda' love by @msmarvelwrites

one-shot, 18+, some things are more important than breakfast

Separation, connection (part 2) by @firefly-in-darkness

two-shot, 18+, the angst is strong in this one

Angel on her knees by @/babyboibucky

one-shot, 18+, Bucky gets some love hehe

Feelings are fatal by @sunmoonandbucky

series, steve leaves to be with Peggy, reader deals with the loss

It's messy inside, let me take your coat by @/divine-mistake

one-shot, 18+, plus size!reader

Beautiful people by @nacho-bucky

series, plus size!reader, the most real, beautiful, human story

Sam Wilson

Dancing with Sam Wilson would include... by @certifiedskywalker

head cannon, the title says it all

Positions by @luciilferss

one-shot, 18+, Sam's a gem Monday through Sunday

Identity by @samwilsons-pillowpecs

series, Sam loses memory and they say he wanted to kill Bucky

Amartment 3C by @/bohemianpages

series, Sam comes back from the snap to find his flat occupied

Honest by @xbuchananbarnes

one-shot, tfatws!sam

The first time you realise you are in love by @barnesnroses

part of a mini series, the fluff 😫

Walk me home by @whisperlullaby

one-shot, Sam comes to the rescue

Memory loss by @/captain-kelli

series, Sam and reader are on a hunt for winter solider

SamBucky

Cratures of habit by @callitdreamland

miniseries, sambucky x reader

How sweet it is by @indyluckycharlie

series, sambucky modern!au

The therapist by @holylulusworld

mini series, y/n helps them with their problems

Steve Rogers

Glitter by @sarahwroteathing

one-shot, elementary teacher!Steve x single mom!reader

Error by @buckysknifecollection

one-shot, de-serumed!steve

Words whispered in the dark by @anika-ann

part of the Attached series or stand alone, modern-college-professor AU, 18+

Corrupting a good boy by @donutloverxo

series, ceo!steve x desi!reader

Cash rules everything around me by @/slyyywriting

series, stripper!steve

Where the love light gleams by @/sunmoonandbucky

series, social media!au

Sharon Carter

Permanent by @/samwilsons-pillowpecs

one-shot, tattoo artist!sharon

Loki Laufeyson

Steam by @the--sad--hatter

series, slowburn, enemies to frenemies to idiots in love

Peter Parker

Love sick and a little bit drunk by @spideyspeaches

one-shot, collage!peter

Invisible string by @peterbenjiparker

series, soulmate!au

Don't hold back by @hollandcrush

one-shot, 18+, college!peter

Dancing with our hand tied by @/justeclipseblogs

series, stark!reader, enemies to lovers

My medication by @/kelieah

one-shot, broken teens in love

HOLLAND & CO.

Tom Holland

Lockscreen by @cherrycheridarling

one-shot, famous!reader

Monday mornings by @blissfulparker

one-shot, professor!tom x professor!reader

Written in the stars by @ptersmj

one-shot, fuff!!!

Hooked on your feelings by @heyhihellowhatsup0

series, fwb!tom

Ski date by @tetralea

one-shot, 18+, idiots in love, friends to lovers

Take sugar? by @/hollandcrush

one-shot, carpenter!tom x ex-best friend!reader, 18+

I swear to God I never fall in love by @hazofmyheart

one-shot, fratboy!tom, 18+, spoiler alert: he does

Break up with your girlfriend by @rosyparkers

one-shot, 18+, frat football player!tom, cheerleader!y/n, fwb au

Perennial by @peeterparkr

series, sequel to Perdify, the biggest oof moment yet

All for her by @screamholland

series, single dad!tom

Royal convinience by @/poetrcy

series, royal!au

Kiss me slowly by @/storybookholland

one-shot, soft frat!tom

Harry Holland

Always by @/multiholland

series, best freind!harry

Sam Holland

'tis the damn season by @/unsaidholland

one-shot, ex boyfriend!sam

Our night by @/storybookholland

one-shot, jealous!sam

Harrison Osterfield

No way by @soft-haz

one-shot, friends to lovers

Second self by @/soft-haz

one-shot, 18+, reader gives Haz a hand wink wink

Harrison mastelist by @allegra-writes

lots of great Haz things!

Bet on it by @storybookholland

series, fwb

THE IRREGULARS

Whole masterlist by @uglypastels

these all wonderful!! you should also check out the amazing art works at the bottom of this masterlist

LEO

The Fountain of Ichor by @thegirlintheswivelchair

series, leo x lady-in-waiting!reader

OTHERS

Anthony Bridgerton

Sham, pride and illicit affairs by @/peeterparkr

series, quite possibly the most poetic fic ever written

Coming home again by @/misstonybridgerton

series, old friends reunite

Spencer Reid

An Interesting Electronic by @/homoose

one-shot, 18+

Frank Adler

I ruined our sweet tune by @/rodrikstark

one-shot, kinda professor!frank

Ransom Drysdale

The Five Times You Told Ransom Drysdale You Loved Him (And The One Time He Said It Back) by @just-one-ordinary-fangirl

one-shot, childhood friends to life gets in the way to lovers

Sacrilage by @the-iceni-bitch

one-shot, 18+, you'll have to shower in holy water after this

Okay, I might have gone a little overboard but hey, there's no such thing as too much good fanfiction!

Enjoy! 🥰

#april fic recs #april fic recs part 1 #fic rec #anna's fic recs #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #sam wilson x reader #tom holland x reader #harrison osterfield x reader #sambucky x reader #sambucky #peter parker x reader

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ijustwant2write · 4 years

Text

A Secret Romantic-Benedict Bridgerton x Reader x Eloise Bridgerton (Platonic) (Part 2)

(GIF credit to @elenawinchstr)

Part 1

Masterlist

Tags: @marvel-ousnesss @myficplace @yelenas-lova @lavxnder @s-unflowxr

Summary: Benedict and Eloise both anticipate Lady (Y/N)’s social event, as does their mother, causing tensions to rise and panic to ensue. Benedict doesn’t want his mother ruining what he may have with (Y/N), asking Eloise for her help, who gladly plays the role of a good sister.

Characters: Benedict Bridgerton x Reader, Eloise Bridgerton x Reader (platonic), mentions of Anthony Bridgerton and Violet Bridgerton

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

(Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: Fluff, fluff, fluff

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Benedict hastily moved around the house, avoiding his mama at all costs. She called out his name repeatedly, growing frustrated at his childish manner. He was supposed to discuss a plan with her about how he should prepare to court Lady (Y/N), but he knew better; his mama knew nothing of (Y/N) (he admitted, he still had much to learn about her too), and he didn’t want his chance to slip away. Although he was confident at her house when he called upon her, there was a sickening doubt looming in his mind that if he did anything wrong, another suitor could easily take his place.

“You have no where else to hide brother.” Anthony smirked, his eyes skimming over the top of his newspaper.

Benedict sighed, accepting defeat. She would find him in a matter of minutes, especially since Anthony’s office was the last place she would look.

“Please, just let me stay her for a few moments.” Benedict begged.

Anthony chuckled, putting down the papers as he reclined in his chair.“Oh dear, I see things are turning serious quite quickly.”

“Yes, which wouldn’t be a problem if mama wasn’t making this such a big ordeal.”

“But it is to her.”

Benedict knew this.“I know that, because someone hasn’t found a woman to marry, so it then falls onto my shoulders.”

“I haven’t seen you so anxious before. Sit down, try to relax.”

Benedict took his offer, practically collapsing into the chair on the other side of the desk. Anthony stood, pouring out a drink each and handing one to Benedict. Though not one to drink in the early afternoon, he gladly sipped at it, wishing he would just calm down.

“Besides mama, what is going on in that head of yours?” Anthony asked.

He genuinely wanted to help. He felt a slight guilt knowing that his mama was more excited about this possible partnership, seeing as he never gave her the satisfaction of even socialising with women.

“I worry that I may not be enough for (Y/N).” he said.“Of course, I have talked to women, I know the right things to say, but I also know that I will not want to engage in further conversation. Whereas with (Y/N), she intrigues me, so much that even after we danced and talked for hours, I still felt like I hardly spent any time with her. I thought about every word I said, listened intently to everything that poured out of her mouth. There are no other women like her.”

Anthony didn’t speak for a few seconds.“You should write poems alongside your art work.”

Benedict groaned, about to stand when Anthony stopped him.

“I am teasing you brother. Look, it’s extremely obvious that you have fallen for this woman. Putting feelings aside for a moment, she also comes from a well off family with a respectable background, so you’ve done very well in that department. This art exhibition will allow me to also see what Lady (Y/N) and her family are like, as well as keep mama away from you both as much as I can.”

“You would do that for me?”

“You seem shocked. I will pretend not to be offended.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I know that you too do not like to be....bothered by mama at these events. No doubt she’ll talk to you about my potential courtship all night.”

The door opened as he finished speaking, Violet popping her head in. Her smile widened when she saw both her sons in the same room, now able to speak with them both about Lady (Y/N). Anthony and Benedict shared a look, knowing they would be there for some time.

Elsewhere in the house, Eloise was suffering through a conversation with Hyacinth. As Daphne had to endure, Hyacinth was questioning her older sister, wanting to know everything there was to know about the balls they attended. She wanted to make sure she had all the knowledge she needed when it was her turn to debut. They never spoke of these things in front of her or Gregory and she wanted all the answers. However, Eloise was not revealing anything, and making it seems that everything to do with debuting was awful.

“Go away and pester somebody else.” Eloise huffed as she descended the stairs away from her sister.

“Why are you always so mean to me? I’m just asking questions!” Hyacinth protested.

Eloise felt guilty, especially since Hyacinth was still young and didn’t understand many things about the world yet.“I’m sorry, but I’m not the best person to ask these questions.”

“Why don’t you want to get married?”

“If I explain, you won’t understand.”

“Yes I will!”

“You won’t Hyacinth.”

“You’re so mean!”

The young girl stomped off, having a tantrum to herself. Eloise did feel bad for being so snappy with her sister, but she really didn’t like talking about these things, doing all she could to avoid it where possible. It just made her feel miserable. And who wants to dote on a topic that eliminates all happiness from them?

However, Eloise did find that she was excited about the art exhibition. She was curious as to how (Y/N) and her brother’s encounter would go. For a moment, she felt like her mama. It sent shudders down her spine. It was nice to have the pressure and attention off of her, and to see her brothers in the spotlight. She knew too many friends with brothers who had it easier than the women of the family. Of course they had certain expectations, but Eloise did not see any men parading around in uncomfortable, tight dresses, with over the top embellishments and feathers.

The remaining days leading up to the art exhibition were filled with dress and suit fittings, lessons on the (Y/L/N) family, and making sure everyone knew how important this day could be. Benedict grew more and more nervous as it approached, his mama making him realise that this could be a turning point in his life. Before this was all about him being excited to see (Y/N), to be in her company again, now it was as if he was proposing to her.

Eloise stepped out into the garden, welcoming the warmth that was still lingering at this time of night. She couldn’t sleep, knowing what was on her mind, but not wanting to admit it. She wasn’t surprised to see Benedict already on the swing set, secretly smoking as they had both done before. A small smile appeared on her face as she approached him, making sure to create some sort of noise as to not startle him.

“I’m glad I’m not the only one being kept awake.” she said as she sat down.

“I haven’t even tried to sleep yet.” Benedict said before inhaling through his cigarette again.

“Is someone nervous?” she wasn’t teasing him, she was concerned.

“Yes.” he surprisingly said.“I’m nervous because mother has made me believe everything is depending on this next meeting. Yet she forgets how long Daphne took to decide who she was marrying.”

“You shouldn’t be nervous.”

“And why is that?”

“Because (Y/N) likes you.”

Benedict chuckled."Ah, I forgot you were the expert on such topics."

"I may not know a lot about...feelings and love, but I am not a fool. I saw the way your eyes lit up when you first saw her. (Y/N) was practically speechless too. But not like the other women who fawn over the Bridgerton name, she actually liked you for your face, for some reason. I don't know, it just seemed that there was something natural between you."

"Eloise Bridgerton, what a doting thing to say."

"I am trying to be nice to you brother."

"I know. And I appreciate it, but...I feel at ease with (Y/N), and I don't like the thought of mother's eyes burning into the back of my head. Anthony has said that he will do what he can to help, but I fear that mother will not be totally distracted by him. She’ll know his sudden interest will be fake.”

Eloise had an idea, and even if she didn’t want to go through with it, she knew it would help Benedict.“I will regret saying this, but I shall help too. I will make sure mama is paying attention to me, I’ll let her drag me around and indulge in hideously, dull conversations.”

Benedict had been shocked for the second time that day. Two of his siblings, both detesting the thought of marriage, had offered to suffer through this social event in order to give him time with (Y/N).

“What has happened to you two today?” Benedict asked.

“We are merely being charitable. Hopefully you return the favour in future. God knows I’ll be in need of saving soon.”

(Y/N) was all a flutter on the morning of the exhibition. Her mother had bought a new dress just for this, wanting to impress the Bridgerton family, prepping their halls and rooms for the exhibition for the last week. (Y/N)’s father was proud of what he had created, and that his daughter may be on her way to marrying a family who were held highly in their society. (Y/N) couldn’t focus at all, relieved that her maids were the ones in charge of getting her dressed and ready for the day; if left to her own devices, she surely would have put her dress on backwards.

Guests streamed in, but (Y/N) was only on the lookout for one person. She remained polite, trying to stay in the moment as more and more people arrived. However, she still kept an eye out for Benedict, also staying on her toes. She had many things in mind to say to him, and she wanted to keep them in her mind. There was no way she was going to humiliate herself.

Her heart started beating a thousand times faster when she saw Benedict enter the main hall, the one holding the biggest and most expensive pieces of art. She smiled, and somehow it grew even bigger when he made eye contact with him. His smile was so sweet, it made you fall for his charms even more. Benedict felt his stomach twist in anticipation, desperate to have just a few moments with (Y/N). Alas, that did not come when his mama latched onto his arm, steering him in (Y/N)’s direction. Although he wanted to speak with her, he found it all rather forceful, especially when (Y/N)’s parents suddenly appeared behind her.

Formal introductions were made, each set of parents making small talk about the last time they were in each others company. (Y/N) and Benedict were silent, nodding along with what was being said as they sneaked glances at each other. The conversation was dragging for them, they knew their parents wanted to figure out if this could be a potential arrangement. It didn’t seem that they were going to stop talking at any point, neither child wanting to be rude, until Eloise intruded.

“Pardon me,” she started, sending a subtle smile to Benedict,“mama, I have been looking everywhere for you.”

“Ah, another Bridgerton. The next daughter to find a suitor, I presume?” (Y/N)’s mother beamed.

Eloise hid the urge to frown. Luckily her mother stepped in.“Yes, this is Eloise. I’m sorry darling, I did not mean to leave you stranded.”

“Yes, well, shall we?” Eloise tugged at her mother’s arm.

“Alright dear. It was lovely to see you both again.”

As Violet eagerly followed Eloise, (Y/N)’s parents also dispersed. Benedict and (Y/N) were now finally together, just as they had wished; so why did it suddenly feel awkward?

“Well, that seemed to easy.” Benedict cleared his throat.

“What was?” (Y/N) asked.

“Getting rid of them.” he grinned, holding out his arm.

(Y/N) smiled back, happy to hold onto him.“I was trying to come up with something to say that would not be rude, but would also mean we could leave. I hope that it wasn’t obvious I wanted to leave.”

“Even if it was, I doubt they would care too much. We both know they are over excited.”

“Oh how right you are. I’m assuming your mother has been acting the same as mine this whole week?”

“Overbearing? Overthinking? Over-”

(Y/N) giggled.“Yes, yes, I do not wish to dote on the memory. I am happy that you are here though Benedict.”

“You are?”

“I am.”

The pair’s arms stayed linked as (Y/N) guided Benedict around the art work. Sometimes they joined other conversations, though liked to keep to themselves. It was easy to bond over artwork, especially since it was a passion both of them had. There were no pauses or silences after a few minutes of talking, conversation flowed naturally between them. Men and women also searching for suitors were jealous; a Bridgerton boy had been swept up all too quickly and (Y/N) had been a popular choice amongst the men. However, people could not deny they made a fitting pair.

"Come, let me show you something." (Y/N) muttered to Benedict, easily slipping away from the crowds and leaving the room.

"We really shouldn't be alone (Y/N)." Benedict said, even though this was all he had been wanting.

(Y/N) had a cheeky smile on her face as she tugged on his arm, her steps gradually getting quicker. Benedict didn't even take in her elaborate house, only looking at her beautiful face every time she glanced up at him. They stopped before two grand doors, which (Y/N) cautiously opened, slipping inside with Benedict close behind her.

In the middle of the room was a huge painting covered by a fine piece of cloth. Benedict was confused why (Y/N) brought him to this, until she let go of his hand (him instantly missing the feeling), and theatrically pulled the piece of fabric down. Benedict's jaw dropped as the piece was revealed. He had never seen a painting like it.

It was a large, landscape painting of a ballroom. It captured dancing pairs in the middle of some sort of waltz, musicians huddled in the corner whilst the other guests stood watching; and it was so intricate, Benedict guessed it must have taken the artist months to complete it. All the colours, the detail, it almost looked real.

"This is amazing." he breathed out.

(Y/N) was happy when she saw Benedict's shock."Isn't it? It's supposed to be revealed later, but I wanted to see your expression properly."

"Who painted it?"

"I don't know. Father said he is going to inform everyone later, but it is a new artist. I just think they're work is dazzling to look at. I become mesmerised."

Benedict's focus changed back to (Y/N)."Yes, that does tend to happen."

She didn't notice that he was referring to her, nodding along in agreement. Her smile faltered slightly, which Benedict was able to see immediately.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he neared her, hating the gap that was created

(Y/N) covered her slip up, as her mother had told her."I'm sorry, it's really nothing..." she started, but found herself relaxed, and wanting to tell Benedict all her problems."It's only that...I used to paint frequently, well, I sketched more, though I enjoyed both. Like all girls, my mother told me to stop that and focus on becoming the most desired lady in society. I shouldn't have even told you about that when we first met."

"That's what made me desire you (Y/N)."

She blushed, realising how intense his gaze was."Oh, Lord Bridgerton-"

"What's with all the formalities all of a sudden?"

"I-I don't know. I don't want to ruin anything and it's only our second meeting. Third if you count when you called upon me."

"And I called upon you for a very good reason."

"I was wishing that everyone else would leave, so I could spend more time with you."

Benedict loved hearing her say that."As did I."

Subconsciously they had moved closer, though they both knew what they were doing. Benedict reached down to tenderly hold her hands, causing her heart to beat erratically. (Y/N) had no idea what to do, she only had experience from the books she read. It seemed simple enough to kiss someone, but also the hardest thing in the world. How much pressure should she apply? How long should they kiss for? Where would she put her hands? Where would he put his hands? She didn't have anytime to think as he was already leaning in towards her.

Eloise and Anthony were finding it extremely hard to keep the fake smiles plastered on their faces. Benedict was really in for it once this was all over. Their mama had kept a tight grip on them both, because as soon as they saw their chance to flee, they would. Both had to suffer through extremely long, boring and repetitive conversations, listening to parents boast about their children's achievements. Everyone knew how this worked, yet they all had to pretend to be happy about it.

"Where is Benedict? He's been away for a long time." their mama pondered as they took a break for refreshments.

"He's probably wooing Lady (Y/N), just as you wanted." Eloise slurped on her drink.

"Do not fret mother, he knows what he's doing. He truly likes her and will be doing all he can to...well, yes, woo her." Anthony said.

"I suppose you are right. It feels strange that one of my children are making an effort for once."

Eloise huffed."Oh, do not chastise us mama. We've been doing this all afternoon, haven't we?"

Violet squinted her eyes at them, suspicious that they were up to something. She was about to question it, but stopped herself. They were doing what she always wanted, finding someone to spend their future with. She wouldn't jeopardise that. Lucky for them, a servant announced that Lord (Y/L/N) requested for everyone's presence inside. The guests were intrigued, following orders and grabbing full glasses of whatever quenched their thirst. Eloise and Anthony had got away with their plan for now, they just hoped Benedict and (Y/N) had had enough time together.

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danielxricciardo · 3 years

Text

Cheater III

Summary: You found out Max cheated on you part 3.

Warnings: angst and fluff by the end

Word count: 2.5k

Part 1 and Part 2

Cheating in a relationship is the saddest thing. It can kill the personality from the inside. Bring changes a lot mentally. These situations turn into you to be good or bad. Some may be helpful to be stronger.

It feels bad when our loved one cheated, cause we are well connected to our partners. We had a lot of plans for that person to spend a most valuable time of ours. When it isn't going to happen then it feels unsuccessful or bad. Expecting something from another person is common in humans. When it turns down we feel such pain, like stabbing with words, The words have the power to kill or to give life to the opponent's mind. The reason why people say 'think before you talk'.

True love doesn't involve multiple people... You knew that.

When you are in love with someone, you don't cheat and you're not talking about just finding others attractive. You just don't desire to be sexually intimate with other people when you are truly "in love" with one person. You're not talking about caring for someone or loving in general.

You're talking about the head over heels, you're soulmates, the stars have aligned and nobody else has what you have, a type of love that consumes your whole being and makes you want to give that person the world. And that includes giving them the greatest physical pleasure that they can possibly experience. Cheating takes that away from you and that is why it hurts.

The person you are in love with and desire, who you thought felt the same way is revealing to you that intimacy with you is meaningless when you thought it was special. They do not desire you in the same way that you desire them. They are not "in love" with you in the way that you thought. All of your love is in vain.

“Why do we feel bad, even horrible, when our partner cheats on us?"

A trust, expectation, a promise was broken. This type of violation hits you closer to the heart because you have let that person through all your external defenses. Because you fear the loneliness that you are going to face. Nobody wants to end alone. When you put in so much for your relationship, you want it to last. But when your partner cheats you think that you would end alone, gradually realize this happens and life doesn't end here and someone else is going to come into your life.

Why do guys cheat on girls?

Both men and women cheat. In some cases, the reasons are simple: humans are animals with sex drives. We are biologically programmed to "spread our seeds." We have other instincts, such as loyalty, honesty, and guilt feelings. Those drives duke it out with lust in our brains. Sometimes, lust wins. It's more complicated than that because we tend to associate sex with so many other things: youth, freedom, adventure, personal attractiveness, you name it.

You know people make all sorts of excuses like, “I wasn’t happy in my relationship” or “I didn’t know what I was doing” or “I don’t find my partner attractive anymore” or “someone convinced me to do it.” You’ve heard these. But it’s funny to you.

A cheater can never have any excuse. They do not deserve to have that say after cheating on someone.

If you weren’t happy in the relationship, then why didn’t you break up first and had sex with someone else? Why didn’t you say that you needed a break and then had sex? Also, how can someone even convince you to cheat on your partner? It’s nonsense.

Some people will even go as far as to say that the other person made them feel loved, so they got swayed away. If you are not feeling loved by your partner and someone else is doing that job, then aren’t you supposed to figure out your feelings first, maybe break up with your partner and then be with someone else? That’s common sense.

Nobody deserves to be cheated on. The blame is ALWAYS on the cheater. Nowadays people even try to justify cheaters. It’s insane. To you, all the answers to “why” are simply just excuses trying to justify their unacceptable behavior. You know, how they always say that a person who cheats once will cheat again.

Since you found out that Max cheated on you and until this moment, so many months have passed that you have the impression that you have started to heal. You were with a man who made you feel fulfilled, happy, and loved. There were days in a row when you didn't think about Max, but even when you thought, you had in mind only the beautiful moments. Like when, for your first date, he rented your entire favorite restaurant and he cooked for both of you, even though he didn't know how to cook more than just one egg. Or when you first visited him at a Grand Prix for the first time and he won and came to you and kissed you in front of all the cameras, telling everyone that you are his lucky talisman. Or, your favorite memory, when you were at his house after you met his family and heard him talking to his father about you. Sure, you didn't understand a word they said, but Victoria translated to you what was most important about that conversation: Max loves you so much and if he doesn't get to marry you, he'll never marry anyone else.

As dear as your last memory may be, it is also painful because it is like a slap in the face to the fact that there was a time in your life when you were in love and now you were no longer together.

When you told your family that you started seeing another man, more than 6 months after you and Max broke up, your mother asked you how you could get into a relationship so quickly. relationship.

To be honest, you weren't ready yet. You were damn scared but Stephen, your boyfriend now, went after you a lot and you decided that if you don't give him a chance now it will be many years before you think about going on a date with someone else. You knew it wasn't going to be a long relationship. You didn't have much in common with Stephen, but he was a good, sweet boy, and you needed someone who wouldn't make you hate all the men in the world.

"Look, I'm not saying you didn't go through something traumatic, but it's been almost a year since then and I think it's time to come and show everyone that you're not afraid of anyone or anything," says Anthony who called you on facetime one Sunday night after the race.

"But I'm afraid."

"Just shut up, no one needs to know. You just come here, you smile, you laugh, you act friendly with everyone and you're going to look like you're better of without him."

You sigh and get out of bed, and go to the kitchen to get a pill for your headache.

"But he will be there..."

"Okay, so? Who cares about him? I'll always be by your side, I promise he won't talk to you."

"Can I come with Stephen?"

"You know I can't stand him, Y/N. Take him with you to the next Grand Prix, I don't feel like seeing him now, okay?"

"I'll think about it."

You have decided, however, to go to the last Grand Prix of the season, in Abu Dhabi. No one but Anthony knew you were coming to the race.

You forgot what a busy atmosphere it was on Sunday. However, everyone who saw you came to you to talk a little and to tell you that you missed them. You smiled and answered that you missed them as well.

The road to Red Bull Racing was long and short at the same time.

"Do my eyes see well? Y/F/N Y/L/N!" says Christian Horner, who comes to you and hugs you.

You first see Sergio Perez who waves at you, happy to see you, then you see Max who comes from somewhere in the back. Had he just heard your name?

"Hey, guys! I'm so glad to see you again. I missed you all."

"And we missed you, Y/N!" Christian answers on behalf of all Red Bull Racing employees. "Welcome home."

You giggle.

"Thank you."

In less than 10 minutes since you got there, Anthony broke his promise. He promised not to leave you alone so that Max could not come and talk to you.

"Hey," Max says softly, coming behind you.

You shivered at his voice, a voice you've dreamed of every night since you broke up. You turn to him and analyze his facial features. He was the way you remembered him, maybe even more handsome.

You look left and right for Anthony but you can't see him.

"Hey." You answer Max and your heart starts beating much harder.

"I'm so glad to see you... I missed you."

The desire to take him in your arms and kiss him was so strong that you felt dizzy. You couldn't focus on anything, not even a few words to say.

"Do you think that we... We could see each other after the race to... Talk?" he asks, moving his weight from one foot to the other.

"Okay," you say and regret it the next second.

"How stupid am I for wanting to get back together with Max after he cheated on me?" you asked Anthony.

"First of all, you're not stupid for wanting to get back with your boyfriend. Relationships are the most real things anyone can experience. We're growing while we're together. As we grow, we also go through many different behaviors in life. Behavior does not make that person. Behaviors come and go as we grow into who we are. No one is perfect. You cannot name one person you know to be 100% perfect, right?" you shake your head and he continues. "We all grow organically, and the best thing about being in a relationship is that you get to watch each other grow. You get to experience the person you care about to develop. Relationships are like walking through a door that you don't know what's on the other side. But you go through the door without any fear, doubt, or unbelief. Relationships are the livest-realest- life experience. He is a man. A man can only love once or twice. Just because Max has sex with a woman, doesn't mean he loves her. He just wanted to get his rocks off for a moment. When it is all said and done, he loves you. It may sound strange but just think of all the men you knew. Think about all the relationships you knew about. Think those who have been together for years on out. So, no you're not stupid for wanting to embrace your boyfriend's "only temporary behavior". You're smart for wanting to have the courage to walk through the next door. You're smart for being optimistic and knowing that things will get better with time. You realize the importance of maintaining a companion."

You blink several times.

"Why do I feel like you've practiced this speech in front of the mirror several times?"

He laughs and runs his arm over your shoulder.

"Maybe because that's what I did?"

You laugh and you hug him.

"Thank you for being my friend. So you're saying I should give Max another chance?"

"You don't have to give him a chance if you don't want to. But listen to your heart. Don't just do it because I'm saying so because you might regret it and you'll blame me. If you want to give him another chance, just do it. He's not the kind of man to cheat. I don't know what was on his mind when he did it with Kelly. But something tells me he regrets what he did and he will never cheat again."

"Hey, can we talk now?"

"Sure. Congrats on the win!"

"Yeah, thanks."

You both went to his room to talk. You were scared and your palms were sweating. You didn't want to start the conversation because you had different scenarios in mind, all different, depending on what Max would tell you the first time. You swallowed hard when you entered his room. The last time you were there, you two broke up.

“I’m truly sorry for hurting you.” he started saying after he closed the door behind you. "I care for you more than anything. I’m deeply sorry for hurting you… Hurting you is the most painful thing I have ever done. With a bruised heart and a deflated ego, with a sad soul and a head hung low, I apologize to you. An apology is nothing to what I’ve done; but still, I know you have a forgiving and understanding heart and won’t let resentment destroy our love. I have shown you what an idiot I can be by making that mistake. Now it is your turn to show me what a darling you can be by giving your anger a break. Without you I feel lonely, I never want to lose you in my life. I am sorry and I’ll work hard on changing my behavior. I know that I caused you a lot of pain. Whatever happens, remember that I am the guy, who will always be there for you in good and bad times. I know you’re angry now, but I want you to know that I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry for hurting you. I am ready to make amends. If I could, I would have wiped your memories about all the terrible things that I have caused you, but all I can do is to promise you that I’ll create only happy memories for you. I hope when you feel ready you can forgive me."

His words took you by surprise. You knew he would try to apologize, but in your mind, you weren't crying. You knew before you came to the room with him that you would forgive him.

"I forgive you. To be honest, I think I forgave you before we broke up but my ego was hurt and I couldn't forgive you so quickly. What you did was horrible and I hated you for so many months for making me feel so small and insignificant. But I love you. And I want to give ourselves another chance."

tag: hellolipoops, taina-eny

#max verstappen imagine #max verstappen oneshot #max verstappen #f1 fanfiction #f1 oneshot #f1 one shot #f1 2021 #f1 fandom #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #formula one oneshot #formula one imagine #formula 1 oneshot #formula one #formula 1 #red bull racing

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ad1thi · 4 years

Text

underrated stevetony fics rec list (P1)

i feel like a lot of really good stevetony fics get swept under the rug because this is such a big fandom and sometimes people miss out on quality content?? so this is a rec list of some of the stevetony fics i feel like everybody should have read/ be reading

Edit (31.12.2020): this got very long (i had almost 50 fics on my list, so ive decided to split this list into two parts. part 2 will be out soon!!)

Edit (20.02.2021): part 2 is out now!!

picture me in the trees: @ifmywishescametrue

Tony and Steve were childhood friends that almost became more, but Tony moved and they lost their chance. Thirteen years later, a chance meeting brings Tony back into Steve's life.

Free: @iwanttopizzamanyou

"Steve reads, and the words dance in front of his eyes, because while this used to be his dream, what he wanted, all he can think about is how this Hell will soon become his full time life."

Steve discovers fame, with fans waiting for him in the lobby and girls passing him their numbers after the shows. It used to be what he wanted, he supposes. Except his future managers keep asking more and more from him, and he's not sure his old life will survive. Tony is ready to help, and compromise, but Steve maybe isn't anymore.

making it work: @/ironarm

“Just tell him you don’t want to see him anymore,” Clint replies, finishing the end of his burger and starting to crumple up the wrapper, “It’s not like you love him or anything.”

“Clint, if I thought I could get rid of him about a week ago, I would have. But for some fucked up reason, I can’t lie to him. It’s like, I see those baby blue eyes, and bam. Whatever barrier that I built up from childhood trauma is gone.”

Clint chokes on the last piece of his burger, almost resisting the urge to smack Tony on the side of his head.

Tony was a fucking idiot.

Boys Like Us: @naferty

The video had been a mistake. One of the biggest mistakes he had ever done in his life, and considering Tony Stark had done a bunch of shit in his younger years, and even older years, that was saying something.

It was just that none of those things were as embarrassing as that video.

He blamed Clint for everything

Stained Fingertips: @thesoundofnat

“I don’t really believe in magic,” he said, clearing his throat. “But I’m almost certain you’re a goddamn wizard, Steve Rogers.”

Steve would remember those words for the rest of his life.

(Or, Steve is maybe slightly obsessed with drawing Tony. Not that Tony minds.)

Inhale, Ex-Sail: @summerpipedream

"Rich pirates decked out in top-of-the-line black market gear,” grumbled Tony, ”why don’t I have the budget to make those again?’

Rhodey inched back so that he and Tony were back-to-back. “We’re apparently law abiding citizens now, which means having to pay taxes.”

Tony scowled. “Urg, right. Remind me why I wanted to do that again?”

Rhodey rolled his eyes. “What was it you called him last time? Your sweet tart? Your apple pie in the sky? The wind beneath your wings? Hopefully he’ll fly here fast enough so we don’t get killed. Or worse, mugged.”

Tony Stark Bingo K1 - AU: Steampunk

As Constant As A Star: @atsadi

The Swan Princess AU

As young children, Prince Anthony and Princess Natasha of neighboring Midgardian kingdoms are betrothed, and spend their summers together every year until they are wed. Tony adores his headstrong friend Nat: it’s her scowly little companion Steve he’s not thrilled about at first. But soon Steve goes from being a thorn in Tony’s side to being his dearest friend – and much, much more than that. Despite Steve feeling the same way about Tony, the pair still dance around each other for years as Steve struggles to accept his feelings for another man: especially one already betrothed to another. Not to mention that Tony is a prince, and Steve is nothing but a squire.

But before they can make peace, Tony is kidnapped and dragged into the beginnings of another conflict in the nearby magical kingdom of Asgard – he really hates magic. With his potential usefulness diminishing by the day, Tony races to escape even as Steve, Natasha, and their friends race to find him and bring him home.

And—just to make matters worse—Tony has been trapped by a powerful spell and turned into a swan, of all creatures. He really, really hates magic.

Always Yours: @hollyjollyhope

Getting kidnapped is normal for them, at this point. But there's nothing normal about this.

And suddenly, Tony has a choice to make.

Oxeye Daisy (patience): @s-horne

“You make me want things I can’t have.”

Steve startled at the voice from behind him and turned around to see Tony standing in the kitchen doorway. He stared straight at Tony for a long moment. The room was quiet, time stretching out in a thick and uncomfortable silence as neither man dare to move nor opened his mouth to speak first.

White Clover (a promise): @s-horne

“Hey, sweetheart.”

Tony lifted his head as he tried to focus on Steve’s voice. When he managed to open his eyes and blink a bit of the blurriness away, he was rewarded with a gentle smile being shone down at him.

“There you are,” Steve said. “Was worried I was going to have to talk to myself.”

Though his tone was light, Tony knew what he meant. It was no secret that Tony was physically weaker and a hell of a lot more human than Steve was and was therefore struggling more with the lack of regular nourishment that came with being held hostage.

“Course not,” Tony said back, voice hoarse but plastering a smile on his face all the same. His head was pounding and his eyes couldn't stay open. “Would I ever do that to you? You’d never get a sensible answer.”

Acta non verba: @firebrands

unapologetic fluff about two idiots who can barely keep it together with how hard they're crushing on each other

or:

tony has to help steve with math + a halloween party = a good time for everyone, eventually

you take me higher than the rest (everybody else is second best): @firebrands

tumblr fill for adi & anthonydarling, who asked for "'Prank' war, but the kind to see who can make the other blush the most in public" from this prompt list

Adjacent, Against, Upon: @firebrands

A political AU!

Steve Rogers is running as the Mayor of somewhere, America. Tony Stark, his campaign manager, deals with a candidate who isn’t interested in lying, and just wants to do good by these citizens, god damn it.

song of unrest: @omg-just-peachy

How was Steve supposed to reconcile all of this? The way he looked so different but still felt so much the same? It made Steve’s head spin. He knows he shouldn’t care so much, that he is what he is, but he just wants to know.

Paint The Town Blue: @omg-just-peachy

Ten years since he’d seen or spoken to Tony Stark, ten years since they’d broken up to go away to school. And now this email. It could be his only chance to see Tony again.

Camelot: @weethreequarter

For one shining moment, there was Camelot.

In 2019, Karen Page meets Captain Steve Rogers to conduct an exclusive interview on his late husband, President Tony Stark.

In 2007, Steve meets Senator Tony Stark and falls in love.

he thinks he’s lancelot (but he’s more of a sir lamorak): @theotherwasdeath

Tony knows firsthand that violence isn’t funny. So why oh why does he think that the scene playing out in front of him, Steve and Victor Von Doom in a knock-out, drag-down fist fight, is absolutely hilarious?

wildflowers: @tinytonysnark

“So,” Steve begins, clapping his hands together, “the city of SHIELD is in debt. The big ups have sent for financial advisors, all the way from DC! They’re gonna take a look at the city’s spending and make some cuts.”

He squints at the camera against the morning sun shining through the courtyard, “I’m not that worried. Everyone here in the parks department is an important member of the team and absolutely needed.”

The camera swings towards the office where from the large glass window, Natasha can be seen picking up the ringing phone before immediately slamming it back down onto the receiver.

[A Parks and Rec AU]

trinkets of your affection: @starklysteve

Kissed him once for every year I loved him, Steve had written.

By that count, Steve owes him five more kisses now.

Tony traces the words, hands trembling, and tips back a shot of Howard's ancient whiskey. None of it burns anymore.

One day, he'll have lived more days without Steve than there are words in the diary.

For the first time since he'd woken with shrapnel in his chest, Tony fears the future.

----------

Or, five things Tony keeps to remember Steve by, and one thing Steve gives him to remember.

#adi's rec list #stevetony #superhusbands #steve rogers x tony stark #steve rogers/tony stark #steve x tony #steve/tony #underrated stevetony fics #this is part 1 of this rec list #part two will be out soon!!#im planning on doing this for other ships!!#so let me know if there's any ships you wanna see this for

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cacoetheswriting · 4 years

Text

champagne problems, ch.6

Spencer is in love with you, but you’re engaged to someone else.

Chapter Six: Do I Wanna Know?: Late nights at the office. A/N: chapter is titled after this song if you want to listen while reading. Word Count: 2.1k Warnings: cursing, heartbreak, unrequited / unreciprocated love, very angsty, mentions of cheating / cheating, this series is a real slow burn babyyy

series masterlist

A/N: i actually i can't get over all of your support and just the nicest feedback omg !! i hope you like chapter six as much as you liked the others.. ENJOY!

“Look dad, I can’t really talk right now.” You muttered into the phone. “Don’t tell me you’re working pumpkin.” Your dad responded, a slight hint of fatherly disappointment in his voice. “It’s Friday night. You should be out with Ethan, enjoying your youth!” He exclaimed.

“We just got back from a case so I have a mountain of paperwork.”

“And what does your fiancé have to say about this?”

“He’s working too.”

Anthony sighed on the other line. “At least tell me you’re not in that office all alone.”

“Don’t worry dad, uhm, Spencer is here.” You glanced in the direction of the brunette doctor. He looked up at the sound of his name escaping your lips and a timid smile appeared on his face. Nervously, you smiled back before quickly averting your gaze.

Ever since your slip up on the case, you didn't know how to act around him. You felt incredibly guilty for allowing your emotions get the best of you, and almost ruining the friendship both of you cherish so hard.

Spencer on the other hand, being his usual kindhearted self, didn't let the tense situation change anything. Partially because he felt guilty too, although mainly because he knew that he’d lose you forever if he allowed for one moment of weakness to get between you.

He did everything in his power to make sure things weren't super awkward. He initiated conversation at every opportunity. He brought you coffee in the mornings, and walked you to your hotel room at night. He showed no sign of anger or disdain, yet you remained distant.

“Ah good, good.” Your dad retorted. “Say hello to the brilliant doctor for me, won't you pumpkin.” “I will. Bye dad, love you.” “Love you too.” You hung up the call and placed your phone on the desk. Sighing softly, you ran your fingers through your hair before once again glancing in Spencer’s direction.

The hazel-eyed man was already looking at you. This time, as your eyes locked, your heart skipped a beat.

“My dad,-” You cleared your throat. “My dad says hi.” You repeated the short message making the small smile on Spencer’s face spread a little wider. “Next time you’re talking to him, say hello from me too.” You nodded at his request and with one last shy smile, you turned your attention back to the files spread across your desk.

As you tried your best to focus on the task at hand, Spencer found himself unable to avert his gaze.

It hurt to see you act this way. It hurt to see you hurting.

“Are you hungry?” Spencer asked, making conversation. You shook your head ‘no’ without even looking at him.

The brunette doctor could tell that there was something on your mind. He could also tell it was something bigger than the almost kiss.

He got to his feet and ambled towards you, stopping at the edge of your desk. His sudden closeness, more so the smell of his cologne, caused you to avert your gaze upwards.

“We should talk.” He stated calmly.

“What about?” You played oblivious, blinking up at him.

“About what happened the other day.”

Shit. “I have a lot of work to do Spencer.” You replied quietly, so quiet in fact you weren't even sure he heard you.

“I think this is more important Y/N.” He uttered while pulling up a chair next to you. “You’ve been walking on eggshells around me for days now, and it needs to stop.”

You swallowed your breath. “That’s easier said than done. We almost crossed a line, and I can't help but feel terrible about that. Fuck Spencer, I’m getting married.”

“I know. Which is why almost is the key word there Y/N.” He said. “Plus, don’t forget that you’re not the only person complicit in what happened. I was there too and unlike you, I didn't stop us.”

He was of course correct. Spencer was the voice of reason even back when you were dating. He always did the right thing, and knew exactly how to bring you back to earth - especially when you didn't want to.

You nodded your head slowly. “I-I guess you’re right.”

Spencer smiled at your response. “Of course I am. Now, are we good?” “I guess we’re good.” You repeated. Although your gut was telling you something different.

Spencer sprung to his feet and extended his hand. You furrowed your brows slightly confused. Spencer immediately noticed the perplexed expression and your face and chuckled lightly. “You can’t work on an empty stomach.”

“Sure I can.” You tried to stand your ground but the brunette doctor wasn’t having it. Usually, this is where he’d grace you with a fact or statistic about using your brain while your stomach was empty. But not this time. Without uttering another word, he reached for one of your hands and pulled you up effortlessly.

“Let’s go. Come on.”

Over the next week while everyone cleared out for the evening, Spencer and you remained. To anyone that asked the excuse was of course work. The truth was a lot more complicated.

Although neither of you admitted it, those late nights at the office were the best part of your days. You laughed, ate cheap take out dinners, reminisced, played chess. Spencer taught you card tricks, while you played him newly discovered music. Bliss.

Of course, you could have done all of this either of your homes. Ethan was away at a conference meaning you had the free space, but you couldn't bring yourself to suggest it. Since with every day that passed your feelings for Spencer shifted into something all too familiar. The office was safer.

“We better get some work done.” You laughed as Spencer threw his arms up to celebrate yet another chess game victory.

“You're just saying that because you lost.” He grinned causing you to roll your eyes. “Have you ever heard of the term ‘sore winner’ doctor? Because that’s what you are.” You said making him laugh.

“Still a winner.” Spencer replied shrugging his shoulders. He opened the drawer of his desk to retrieve a black notebook and grabbed a pen. He flicked briskly through the pages to find the correct one and scribbled down the scores. “This marks my tenth win against you this week.”

“Don’t get cocky genius. I’m not that far behind.” You affirmed.

Spencer’s grin grew a little wider. “Have you ever heard of the term ‘sore loser’ Y/N? Because that’s what you are.” He teased. Laughing, you reached for one of the chess pieces and threw it at the brunette doctor. He caught it with ease and gloatingly stuck his tongue out at you.

“How very mature doctor.” You joked while standing up. You straightened out your skirt and fixed the hem of your shirt before glancing back up at the hazel-eyed man who was watching you intensively. The second your gaze landed on him however, he looked away clearing his throat.

“I should eh, get those boxes back to the file room.” Spencer said while pointing at the stacked cardboard pile.

“I’ll give you a hand.”

“No, no. I can manage.” He replied while getting to his feet. Rolling your eyes, you walked over to the boxes. “Don’t be silly doctor. It would take you at least four trips, and together maybe we’ll manage in two.” You said looking back at him.

The brunette doctor swallowed. Spending this much time with you alone was a dream come true, and he knew he should consider himself lucky. However, with every second that passed he could sense something lingered in the air. The kiss that didn't happen.

It wasn’t a huge issue. As long as the two of you were preoccupied, Spencer’s mind stirred away from wondering about things it shouldn't be. The almost kiss. Yet now he found himself feeling lightly awry of going to the file room with you.

Eventually he nodded and moved toward you, reaching for one of the boxes still on the ground. His heart hammering inside his chest as you looked at him with the prettiest smile gracing your already perfect features.

“This way we’ll be done in no time, and maybe have time for another game of chess.” You stated as you walked ahead to the elevator.

“Another chance for me to beat you.” Spencer replied, trying his best to hide his sudden nervousness.

“Someone’s feeling confident.” You noted while stepping inside the machine. The brunette doctor followed close behind. He pressed the floor button with his elbow and soon the elevator began to move.

Spencer chuckled. “Taking into consideration our past games, the odds are in my favour.”

His eyes locked with yours again. Of course he caught himself staring at times over the last week- how could he not? He knew that you noticed it too, but it didn't seem to bother you. Quite the opposite actually. It ever so slightly made you blush.

“Why didn’t you stop us?” The question escaped you unintentionally. Once you realised you said it, it was too late. Shit.

“What do you mean?” Spencer asked, although he knew exactly what was on your mind and your lack of response only proved he was right.

Before he could say anything, deflect perhaps, the elevator stopped on the desired floor. The doors flung open, and you didn't waste any time to hurry out of there - away from the conversation.

“Y/N, wait!” Spencer called after you.

“I shouldn't have said anything.” You replied without looking back at him.

Spencer huffed. He hurried ahead and towered over you, causing you to halt in your spot.

“We were doing good, we had a great week. Can we just forget I even asked that stupid question? It just slipped out and...” You trailed off; hesitantly glancing up to meet his gaze.

“I can tell this is bothering you. I can tell this is obviously still on your mind just like it is on mine, therefore this time we should talk it out.” Spencer retorted.

“Please Spencer, just drop it.” You muttered back. With your mouth pursed into a tight smile, you began to walk around the brunette doctor.

What happened next was a blur.

Faint thud. Clatter. The cardboard container previously in Spencer’s hands was now on the floor, papers spilling out.

He pulled you back. His grip around your arm strong yet not too tight. In the space of a single heartbeat, before you got a chance to react, his lips were on yours.

The kiss was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be.

As Spencer’s hands moved graciously to your face, your grasp on the box loosened and fell to your feet completely betraying your better judgement. Once there was nothing left between you, Spencer pushed himself in closer so that you were now standing chest to chest. Completely melting into one another.

Your instincts were to push him away and tell him to stop. Tell him if what didn't happen last week was wrong then this definitely was too. Instead your fingers tangled in his perfectly messy hair, tugging slightly at the roots. The butterflies in your stomach fluttered harder with each passing second.

Spencer bit your bottom lip causing your mouth to part. His tongue slid inside within an exchange of breaths and attached itself to yours. His hands still holding your face, thumbs gently caressing your flushed pink cheeks.

Without warning, past memories of the two of you in this very position flooded your mind. Spencer and you kissing for the first time outside your old apartment door. Sharing soft comforting moments after particularly tough cases. Leaning across the dinner table at a restaurant, the flickering light reflecting in Spencer’s eyes. In the middle of the street, under the street lamps, as if you were the only people left in the world.

The overpowering euphoria you felt just seconds ago passed and was immediately replaced by guilt.

Both of you pulled away breathless.

“This- I- we- I can’t. I’m sorry.” You blurted out, freeing yourself from his embrace.

The words were painful to say and even more agonising for Spencer to hear. His nose twitched, and his eyes glossed over with tears. However, he didn't protest. He nodded his head in understanding and swallowed his breath.

“Treat it as a goodbye kiss.” Spencer rationalised. “Now, there is nothing holding you back from your happy ever after.”

His lips formed into a thin half-smile before he began to clean up the files currently scattered over the floor.

You opened your mouth to say something but no words came out. What could you have said? That now there was something holding you back?

You chewed on your lip and wiped the single tear from the corner of your eye before joining him in complete silence.

It was better to leave it alone. Yet another memory - right?

(Baby, we both know) That the nights were mainly made For sayin' things that you can't say tomorrow day

A/N: hello friends! i hope you liked this chapter (not a fan of cheating so this was a little hard for me to write but THEY FINALLY KISSED AH !! i’d love to hear your feedback and as always if you would like to be added to a taglist, please let me know. thank you for your continuous support. with love, mal. x

story taglist: @girloncorneliastreet, @haylaansmi, @rexorangecouny, @l0ve-0f-my-life, @obsssedwithjustaboutanything, @aperrywilliams, @sassy-hades, @rainsong01, @reverdevivre, @dracomikaelson, @softieekayy, @lunaofcrows, @andrewhoezierbyrne, @blameitonthenight21, @lyl-26, @do-yr-research, @nazifa94

spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no, @calm-and-doctor, @idroppedmygourd

masterlist | series masterlist | series playlist

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lukealvezhimboextraordinaire · 3 years

Note

I feel like half of the fandom is melting down and the other part rationalizing this new development and idk how to feel. I’m sure the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. Regardless of the extent of Edwina’s crush and her connection with Anthony (bleh), they still changed the book dynamic where they are completely apathetic about one another, which is a bummer.

I'm still not very worried about the "love triangle" because I think Edwina's feelings for Anthony will be one of those platonic crushes we all get as teens on the mysterious and popular person everyone talks about but once we actually meet them and get to know them we realize they do nothing to us. Here we have a saying that goes "never meet the people you worship" because, 9/10 times, you are gonna be dissapointed. We know Eddie is young and innocent and i feel this whole thing is to remark the difference between the sister's personalities. In the book Kate is judgmental of Anthony before even meeting him, basing her opinion in gossip and rumors, meanwhile Edwina is more letinent and willing to give him a chance. They just have zero chemistry as a romantic couple because neither of them is what the other wants. I actually wouldn't mind seeing them coming to this realization on screen. Edwina been all giddy and smitten with Anthony and Kate becoming extra protective because of it. Anthony would enjoy the attention for two reasons 1) it would make Kate mad and 2) he chose Edwina to be his wife so having her interested in him would be like a win. But then they get to spend time together and the conversation doesn't flow. It's tense and awkward and it isn't until they both voice this that they can relax and start joking.

Anyway! I got carried away. Sorry. But I do understand how you are feeling and think it's very valid. Edwina and Kate's sister bond (along with Mary) is very important to me too. They made us think we were not only getting a similar dynamic to the book but something even better! And now we are faced with the possibility that they will fight, or have drama, about a boy out of all things. It's just ehh.

#asks and answers

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ilalos · 3 years

Text

Lavender dreams-(Anthony Bridgerton x OC)-Part 3/3

Word count: 2k

A few hours had gone by when Simon finally showed up in Anthony’s room holding a small stack of papers in his hands.

“What is that?” Asked Anthony.

“The prenuptial agreement sent by her father that details her dowry, her dress allowance and some other important information” Antony didn’t even read the document and just signed it, he knew Lord Gillingham was an honest man and frankly he did not care about how much Grace’s dowry was. Simon didn’t have much else to say, he was responsible for finding her a match (thanks to his wife) and Anthony was the man Grace had clearly chosen, so the duke’s job was done.

“What about Lord Watts? Didn’t he propose?” Suddenly Anthony seemed to remember the reason for him to be out late at night in that tavern.

“No, he wanted to do it at his house, it was going to happen today” now Anthony felt a bit silly having been so upset over something that didn’t even happen “I already spoke with him and informed him that she had gotten engaged to you”

“I bet he wasn’t happy”

“He wasn’t, accused me of deceiving him but I simply explained that I was unaware of the deep feelings she held for you, and much less that you reciprocated them” It hadn’t been a pleasant conversation and Earl Watts had certainly been mad but the duke couldn’t do much, he hadn’t actually proposed so there was no real engagement.

Simon left soon after that and Anthony was left alone once again. Sometime later his mother entered accompanied with a maid that held a tray of food that she was prompt to leave by his bed before leaving Lady Bridgerton and her son alone.

“Are you here to congratulate me, mother?”

“Yes, but I’m also here ask what were you doing last night in such a horrid place?” His mother sat by his side and watched as he picked pieces of bread not wanting to answer.

“It is not important now”

“It is if it got you oh so terribly hurt”

“I was trying to drown my grieve in liquor and didn’t want anyone from the ton recognizing me” he chuckled, saying it out loud made him realize how foolish he had been “And I didn’t want to drink here in our home because I didn’t want any of you to see me like that”

“Grieving from what? Are you thinking about your father again?” She grabbed his hand and looked at him with pity.

“No, mother, I was grieving the loss of the woman I love”

“You better not be speaking about that singer Anthony Bridgerton“ she warned.

“Grace is the woman I love” it was the first time he had said that out loud and it felt good “I thought I had lost her after Earl Watts talked about asking for her hand in marriage”

“Oh son, if only you would’ve spoken up about your feelings, all of this could’ve been avoided” Violet recognized that maybe the sudden death of his father had made Anthony harsh and unwilling to love, so maybe him not speaking up about his feelings was just a result of all those years of emotional hardship.

“I know I was a fool, but I get a second chance and I’m not going to let her go now” her mother smiled at him and caressed his face, oh how quickly her children had grown up.

She sat with him planning the wedding and making a list of everything they needed to prepare for the ceremony, Anthony just watched her amused at her excitement. She continued like that for sometime, occasionally looking at her son to see if he was paying attention, he only nodded along thinking that this was maybe a conversation to be had between his mother and his future wife; speaking of which, how was she?

“Mother” he interrupted her mid sentence “Where is Grace? Shouldn’t you be having this conversation with her?”

“Her little adventure last night has made her terribly sick and she is resting now”

“Well did you call the doctor? Why did no one inform me of this? I must see her right now, make sure she is okay” he ignored the pain from his injuries as he stood up and hurried to put on proper clothes.

“You shouldn’t be up, son, just rest and tomorrow you may see her” Violet didn’t even know why she was trying to convince him, if her children had anything in common it was definitely their stubbornness.

“I mustn’t wait one more second before checking on her, she is my future wife and I won’t leave her alone when she needs me the most” he was struggling to get his clothes on so his mother gave up and called the footman so he could help her son get dressed, she also sent a maid to call the doctor because she knew her son would request his presence.

Once he was finally dressed and presentable, Anthony all but ran to Daphne’s old bedroom, were Grace was staying. He entered the room quietly, to not disturb her, and was saddened by what he saw. She had her eyes closed and looked as if she was asleep but a sudden spurt of violent coughing made her double over holding her chest with a pained expression, it was then when she noticed his presence.

“My lord!” Cough “You shouldn’t be” cough “Here”

“Shhh” he shushed her softly and helped her lay back down “I shouldn’t see my future wife when she is sick?” He chuckled watching as a deep blush crept up her already rosy cheeks.

“I- future wife?”

“Truly someone must’ve told you about me asking for your hand” he grabbed a nearby chair and sat by her bedside.

“I’m sorry to inform you that someone was yet to come bearing those news”

“Well then allow me to be the carrier of such joyous information, we are getting married” before she could speak, he continued “And yes, your father has been notified and will probably be on his way as soon as he gets the letter that I personally wrote”

“If I may ask, why did you asked for my hand? You mustn’t take pity on me for my foolish actions I-“ Anthony held both her hands and brought them to his chest.

“Worry not, my dear, I proposed because I have love for you and I want you to be my wife” he kissed her knuckles but frowned upon seeing her eyes fill with tears “Unless I read the situation wrong and you bear no feelings for me, if that is the case I couldn’t possibly force you to marry me” he let go of her hands and was standing up when a soft hand on his wrist stopped him.

“You did not misread anything, I do love you and” a fit of coughs stopped her and he patted her back waiting for it to subside “my foolish actions are a statement of just how deep my love runs”

Anthony smiled felling absolutely happy and at peace with where his life was at, his family was safe and he had found the perfect match for him to help him run their home and to give him an heir, while it was true he hadn’t intended to fall in love he wouldn’t complain now that he had found his love match. He knew it was inappropriate but the desire to feel her lips against his overcame him, he grabbed her cheeks and watched smug how her lips parted on their own accord, their faces were inches apart and just as he was about to kiss her he pulled apart with a concerned expression.

“Your skin is burning up” he confirmed this by pressing the back of his hand against her forehead “Have you seen a doctor yet?”

“Is just a cold Anthony, no need to call the doctor for that” Grace could kill him for teasing her like that, they were so close.

“Nonsense, I shall send for the doctor immediately”

“No need son, he’s here” Lady Bridgerton was glad her intuition was right.

The doctor entered and kicked everyone out the room. While he was in there, Anthony and his mother were waiting anxious outside. Violet watched her son try to mask how worried he was by standing completely still but his nervousness showed in the way he checked his watch every minute and how he seemed to lean against the door when muffled voices could be heard.

“She will be alright, son, it’s merely a cold she got from riding in the rain”

“I’ve seen grown men perish for less” he said it without thinking and immediately regretted it “I am terribly sorry, mother, I meant no harm with my harsh words”

“I know son” she squeezed his hand reassuring.

The doctor came out of the room and Anthony practically pounced on him to get answers.

“Your fiancé is quite all right, Lord Bridgerton” the doctor pretty much rolled his eyes at Anthony’s anxious behavior.

“‘Quite alright?’ She is coughing like she is dying!” his mother had to place a hand in his chest to refrain him from attacking the doctor.

“She is coughing like she has a cold, sir, I have given her another dose of the same concoction she drank yesterday and left extra doses for her to take every night and morning for the next week” after that the doctor excused himself and left.

Anthony wanted to believe that everything was well but given his history with loved ones he felt like something was wrong, he felt like that pretty much all the time but usually he’ll believe everything is fine in the name of logic and facts; but now it seemed impossible to ignore the bad feeling because even if it was small, the was a chance something might go wrong and he could lose her.

“She will be fine” Violet pulled her son form his inner turmoil of thoughts before it got too dark “Why don’t you go be with her?”

///Time jump\\\

The best way to top off the season is to do it with a wedding, and the union between of the most eligible bachelor and the diamond of the season was the best event to mark the end of the social season. Violet Bridgerton had outdone herself with the wedding party, there were so many flowers and decor that it looked like she had transferred Versailles to Lady Danbury’s house.

The groom and bride said their yes before a priest like any respectable couple of the highest levels of society. Anthony wanted to murder the priest for taking so long in the ceremony, he had waited months to finally kiss his bride and the man seemed to be taking ages with the ceremony. One would have thought that Anthony Bridgerton, the biggest rake in the ton, would not care for propriety and would’ve kissed his bride ages before the ceremony, and he did tried to but his mother knew of his intentions and made sure they were never left alone.

“You may kiss the bride”

The priest didn’t even get to finish before Anthony placed both hands on Grace’s face and kissing her deeply, so passionately that the priest had to interrupt by clearing his throat, reminding the couple of where they were. They pulled apart quickly and a deep blush covered Gigi’s cheeks, Anthony only chuckled taking her hand and walking her out of the church.

Anthony had decided, in favor of not inconveniencing his family, to ride with his wife to the London townhouse. On the way there he kissed her until her lips were swollen and red, later she rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes before whispering

“Wake me up when we get home”

Finally Anthony had his own home, with a wife who would’ve bear children for him, children he would love just as much as his father did him.

˜˜˜˜The End˜˜˜˜

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Sooo there it is, the end :) I accidentally posted a draft and my anxiety got the best of me so it took me ages to write this haha still, I hope you enjoy it and if you read it know that I appreciate you :):):):):):):)

#bridgeton #bridgerton imagine #anthony bridgerton #anthony bridgerton x oc #anthony bridgerton imagine #my writing

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infinitecrime · 3 years

Text

Spoiler free TFATWS Episode 5 review:

Another very solid episode. A huge amount of pay off for many of the various subplots at play and a great progression of the overall story. Some conversations that really needed to be had were finally had and it was immensely satisfying. Other than a strong opening action sequence, this episode was mainly character and dialogue focussed, which I think is going to upset some of the fanboys, but for me it might have been the strongest episode yet.

Spoiler heavy review:

Writing/Plot:

The opening fight was fantastically choreographed and heart breaking in a lot of ways. The acting was noteworthy which is rare for a fight scene where people normally phone it in or we don’t really see much of their expressions because they’re stunt doubles. I’m glad this was the only real action this week - it felt nice to get a break and return to character and plot driven scenes.

Overall this episode was just really satisfying in terms of plot progression and pay off. We resolved Bucky’s beef with Wakanda, Zemo’s fate, Bucky and Sam not seeing eye to eye, Isaiah’s story, Sam’s issues with the shield, and closure for Lemar’s family. We’ve progressed Sam and Sarah’s money/boat issues and whatever the fuck Sharon and Batroc have going on. Next week we’re setting up to give Yori some closure and put an end to John and the Flagsmashers.

Even the Flagsmashers, who we barely saw, got more development than it seems they have for a while - we now know they are all in on criminal behaviour, are willing to kill, have a distinct target (the GRC), and a distinct goal (stop the Patch), and have a mini army to do it with.

The vibe of this episode was just... soft, which is surprising for a hyper masculine superhero bro show. The whole community coming together to help the Wilson’s and Bucky being inducted into the family was just so wholesome. Even the Isaiah scenes, heart wrenching as they were, would have been intercut with violent and graphic torture flashbacks under some other director, but Kari knew that the story was powerful and upsetting enough on it’s own.

Sam:

Sam and Sarah are just amazing. Really really hope we see her in future Marvel properties. It's so nice to see the perspective of someone so grounded in a world of wizards and shit. I love that he seems to tell her everything and values her advice just as much if not more than that of soldiers and superheroes.

Watching him grapple with Steve and Bucky’s expectations of him vs Isaiah’s expectations of him vs Sarah’s expectations of him vs his own wants and needs was very impactful, and in the end, he’s going to honour them all and pick up the shield, but on his own terms, as his own man, because he wants to, not because some old men told him to/not to.

Sam finally got some of those deeply emotional beats that I have been hoping for this whole time, which gives Anthony a chance to really flex his acting muscles. He’s great at subtlety but he really shines in this episode now the writing has allowed him to. Everything with Isaiah and the scene of him wiping blood off the shield was so raw.

Isaiah, who gets his own section this week:

God, his entire section was so powerful and well done. I’m so glad he came back and we got to learn more about his story and his situation. I’m so glad it was explicitly addressed what was done to him, why it was done, how it affects Sam and his perception of the shield, how it affected his family, and how he still carries all that trauma to this day. I’m so glad it was a one on one between them.

Carl Lumbly was absolutely fantastic and Anthony played off of him wonderfully. The injustice and pain is so stark in this scene. I would love to see more of him in the future but I also want him to be able to finally rest.

Isaiah did exactly what Steve did. Went against express orders to do the right thing and saved a group of POW's that the top brass had written off as expendable. In return, Steve got his fake Captain title made real, a fancy new shield, and was lauded as a hero. Isaiah was imprisoned, tortured, experimented on, and treated as a criminal. For the same. damn. thing.

I was perplexed in previous weeks about people condemning Bucky for not telling anyone about Isaiah, when doing so would have disturbed his well earned peace and put him in extreme danger. In this episode we get the confirmation that Bucky’s choice was right: Isaiah is legally dead and in hiding and the government don't know he's alive. He wants to be left alone ("Leave me dead, my name is buried") and that’s more important than what Sam wants or what you think Bucky should have done. It’s up to Isaiah; and Bucky (and later Sam) respected his wishes.

Bucky:

Ayo calling Bucky White Wolf, telling him to steer clear of Wakanda “for the moment” but not forever, and making Sam a vibranium Cap suit shows he’s fully forgiven. To be honest, they likely don’t have an extradition treaty with Germany so they actually never would have gotten their hands on Zemo if Bucky hadn’t broken him out, so they’re probably happier with him than they let on right now.

The Zemo-Bucky relationship and the grudging respect and understanding they have for each other is so interesting. I honestly don’t believe this is the last we’ll see of Zemo. He’s straddling the anti-hero/villain divide and he’s just so fascinating. Bucky getting his closure with Zemo and showing him that he isn’t the weapon Zemo treated him as was powerful, although I don’t think Zemo actually thought he would kill him. He knows that Bucky wasn’t corrupted by the serum, and even admitted as much.

Fighting John with the shield must have given him flashbacks to the helicarrier fight with Steve which can’t have been pleasant. The pure rage on his face at seeing the shield misused was clear here.

Seeing him helping the Wilson’s and being integrated into the community and the family in a way he hasn’t had since the Howling Commandos (and even then, they were at war) was just so, so sweet and wholesome. And his boat fixing skills corroborated my science nerd/mechanic Bucky headcanons.

Bucky and Sarah lightly flirting is very cute and I would like to see that relationship be developed more.

It was nice to see him explicitly apologise and recognise why Sam didn’t want the shield, as well as explaining why he reacted the way he did. I don’t understand the people saying it wasn’t good enough at all - it was a clear and sincere apology and completely proportional to the actual offence, which was not quite understanding a perspective that he wasn’t really equipped to immediately understand. He doesn’t need to beg or plead - just acknowledge his ignorance, say sorry, and improve, which he did. Sam was perfectly happy with it and accepted the apology, his gift, and his help on the boat. Drama over nothing as per usual amongst the Bucky antis.

I still wish they would be more explicit about Steve’s fate and how they both feel about it, but I liked the scene we got.

Other characters:

“You built me.” - Wyatt is extremely good at mining sympathy out of an otherwise unsympathetic character. As much as I hate him, I did feel for him in the courthouse scene and with Lemar’s parents. He's an example of the veterans that are exploited until they crack then left in the dust as damaged goods when they do. I’ve been so, so impressed with Wyatt and the nuance and complexity and sympathy he’s managed to inject into the character. In anyone else’s hands he would be a two dimensional power crazed villain, but in Wyatt’s he’s a lot more than that.

Val is intriguing. Skrull? HYDRA? Power Broker? Something new entirely?

I wish John’s wife got a name. This is the second love interest minor female character (after the bartender) without an onscreen name, unless I missed it.

I am still somewhat perplexed by Sharon. Is she a double agent? A triple agent? Is she the Power Broker? Is she against the Flagsmashers, or with them, or only out for herself and against everyone? I’m not sure how this can all be resolved in only one episode but I guess we’ll find out. I wonder if she’s being set up for a future project. Is she a Skrull?

I knew Batroc would be back when we didn’t explicitly see him die - is he being used by Sharon without his knowledge for some other purpose, or does she genuinely not give a fuck if he kills Sam?

Nice to see Torres and to see that he has an obvious crush on both Sam AND Bucky. He’s for sure swooping into the final battle next episode having fixed Sam’s wings.

Is the inclusion of Eli Bradley setting him up for a future Young Avengers series, or is he just a nice comic cameo and nothing more?

Lemar's parents had me tearing up. Fuck Walker for lying to them but at least he gave them some closure I guess? Poor Lemar. He deserved so much more and we deserved more of him.

Fuck John Walker and his fake shield.

#tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws spoilers #tfatws meta #a day late because yesterday was a mess #but lots of thoughts on this one

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denimbex1986 · 3 years

Video

youtube

Sebastian: “You’re great.”

Anthony: “You’re the best I’ve ever had.”

(three ladies speaking Portuguese)

(shot of Sebastian and Anthony laughing with interviewer)

(more speaking Portuguese)

“So just like you guys, I work with my closest friends; my migas - we call each other migas - which is like friends without the f, and now we’re partners in a new solo adventure - it’s our YouTube called Entre Migas. So you guys are used to working together, but now you’re also entering a new solo adventure - how was it, the process of finding out that you would come together in one of Marvel’s first ever TV shows?”

Sebastian: “I mean it was super fun. I, I think we were, you know we, we had sort of been teased right, for - for a couple of movies, with little scenes and I think we were - we both had a lot of fun, you know with, with those scenes. (clip of CW blooper - Anthony and Seb laughing) Yeah, we were just - we just thought, you know, we’d get an opportunity to - to take that dynamic on the road to so speak, so I think we - we did.”

Anthony: “It was much more fun than I thought it would be. I think just being on set, uh, again, and having the - the crew back together and - we had a lot of input, we had a lot, uh, of ability to change things around and put our own flavour on it, so you know, that made it - that made every day going to work a, uh, new and exciting experience, so it was a lot of fun.”

(more Portuguese chat)

“So, you were both in Brazil a while back - by the way Sebastian, I was the one that issued your visa - I’m not kidding, yes; I was at the organisation for the Brazil - ”

Sebastian: “You gotta - you gotta get me back in there.”

“Yes, I interviewed you on stage, I issued your visa, I arranged your hotel room - it was, everything, it was me; I did it - I did it all.” (laughs)

Sebastian: “Well you, you, you spoiled me, it was a really great experience.”

“Yeah, it was an amazing event and thank you so much for, for coming. I didn’t get to see Anthony when he came, but I believe you had an amazing time because Brazil is an amazing place. So when you guys think back about Brazil, what’s the nicest memory that comes to mind?”

Sebastian: “For me it was just the people, you know? I mean we - I didn’t get a chance to go around as much as I wanted and explore, but it was just the - the welcoming of the people and how nice they were, you know?”

Anthony: “I would say, uh, the beaches in Rio. It was really something special and amazing Just to - to hang out and see the, the nightlife and the festivities and shots of ice coke and shots of - it was great.”

“Are you jealous Sebastian?”

Sebastian: “ I am jealous because I usually would like to catch Anthony on a beach, you know, whenever I can because - (laughs) because I know -”

Anthony: “Speedos and tattoos baby - speedos and tattoos.”

Sebastian: “Exactly.” (interviewer laughs)

(more Portuguese chat)

“So in the first episode, I - I have to say, uh, we see Bucky’s therapist tell him how important it is to open up so that he doesn’t have to go through things by himself. We’re living in a very hard period, where we really need each other’s support to go on. So do you think it makes the show even more relevant for this moment, and when it’s coming out, that we really need each other’s - to have each other’s backs?”

Sebastian: “Definitely. I mean, I mean the show is relevant on, on, on all levels, certainly in terms of just like the blip/Covid parallel, right? You know, especially with what these two guys going, you know - the - the issues they’re questioning, are dealing with or, you know, the world in which they find themselves - it’s all very timely, so, you know I, I think it’s really resonating with people.”

Anthony: “Yeah. I think we’re all in a position where we’re trying to find our new normal. Like, what’s that new aspect of, uh, our reality that we’re gonna have to gravitate to now that we’re moving into the post-Covid phase. So, you know, it’s - I feel like everything now starting to, uh, show itself now for what it is, just like in the show.”

(more Portuguese chat)

“And now I have like a quick question - just say the first thing that pops into your mind, um, rule here - it’s what we call miga round because our community are the migas, they’re our friends. So the last movie and the last TV show that you watched, and you loved and you would like to recommend?”

Sebastian: “What did I watch? Oh, I watched Nomadland - that was amazing. And TV? I mean WandaVision, right? That was pretty good.”

Anthony: “That was pretty good. That was petty much the last thing I sat down and watched. WandaVision was pretty amazing; Elizabeth uh, and Paul did a great job.”

“And favourite curse word, but it has to be PG-13.”

Anthony: “Poop.” (everyone laughs)

“Sorry.” (laughs)

Sebastian: “Stupid.” (Anthony and interviewer laugh)

“And favourite compliment to give and to receive?”

Sebastian: “It’s not really a good compliment if you keep giving the same one.” (interviewer laughs)

Anthony: “It is - you can mean it.”

Sebastian: “’You’re great’.” (Anthony and interviewer laugh)

“Okay.”

Anthony: “What’s your favourite one to receive?”

Sebastian: “’Please stop.’ (everyone laughs) Uh, I don’t know.”

“Anthony very quick I need yours because my time’s up man.”

Anthony: “Okay.”

Sebastian: “He has good ones; I know he has good ones.”

Anthony: “My favourite compliment to give is ‘You’re amazing’. My favourite compliment to receive is ‘You’re the best I’ve ever had.’”

(more Portuguese chat)

“You guys are amazing, you’re the best, thank you so much for your time. Bye.” (laughs)

Anthony: “Thank you.”

Sebastian: “Thank you.”

#falcon and the winter soldier #Sebastian Stan #anthony mackie

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piracytheorist · 4 years

Text

Ok a quick little (or not) summary (only for the second part, though)

As they continue from talking about Anthony Hopkins being a team player and wanting smaller actors to succeed, Colin goes on to talk about how there are actors who want themselves to be the star. He contrasts that to Hopkins' personality, which is why he still is supportive of smaller actors, also due to his theater background, theater is a place where everyone needs to be at the same level to work. He says how Hopkins wanted to impart his knowledge on him, and Colin feels very lucky and blessed that he had the chance for that. He says Hopkins is the biggest influence he's ever had, and probably will ever have.

Jarlath then talks about how in such a presence, you can't feel cozy, like you've figured it out, but instead you feel that you have something to live up to. Colin says he was terrified in the start, because he was in most of the scenes in The Rite, with only a few scenes with Hopkins that Colin wasn't in. He says it's terrifying to step into the set of a film with such a big budget, and other big actors like Ciarán Hinds and Toby Jones, people he admired so much and he wanted to do well in the film.

On his first scene with Hopkins, Hopkins told Colin, "Listen, it's just acting. Enjoy it." And that helped him ease into the job.

Then he talks about how he prepared himself as a mortician/exorcist for the film. He read a lot of literature about exorcists, he went to a morgue and dressed an actual dead body, all of it stuff he never thought he'd do.

Jarlath picks up on that and asks him for more about it. And boy, did Colin talk about it. He says how even having the film The Exorcist in your house, when they were young, felt like it was an invitation for bad things to happen (he says it was banned in Ireland too). He says he asked the real-life priest that Michael Kovak was inspired from, if he thinks that he (Colin) is inviting in something bad by doing this, playing in this film. The priest said "Yeah, maybe. But if you believe in it, then you believe that God is there to protect you" and Colin was like "I shouldn't have asked". He says that of all exorcists he spoke to, none of them tried to make him believe, they just shared their experience without trying to convince him.

He then talks about an exorcism he attended, where a young woman who was going for the ritual, she didn't want him in the same room but they did meet outside of it, and she looked at him in such a cold way, that he thought if someone was skinning him alive in front of her she would just stand and watch. He says he hadn't seen anyone look at him like that before, hasn't since, and doesn't want to. Then she went inside the room, and after she was done she came out, smiled at him and then left. He stood to listen from outside the room as the exorcism happened, and he talked to the exorcist about it later, and overall it felt very real and scary to him.

Jarlath asks Colin about the auditions he did before Once Upon a Time. Colin says he got very close to some “very big things”. He says how even though The Rite was very widely known and at the top during its premiere, it got mixed reviews and that affected him, because he put a lot of pressure for it to be amazing, but that a film's success doesn't depend on the actors alone.

Colin mentions the pilot he did for Identity, with Angela Bassett, whom he praised, and that between the film and this pilot he got close to something big... Jarlath simply says what he heard involved wearing a cape. Colin says "That's one of them... or it might not be, I don't know, I can't tell."

Jarlath asks him if he has the thinking of "I don't want to be in a film where they don't want me," for when he doesn't get a role. Colin says that before The Rite, where he wasn't getting many jobs, he was feeling that he was right for the thing that he didn't get, that it was the one shot he had. But he just said he had to believe in himself and keep going at it. He says that like a vampire craves blood, he craves the work, he loves pretending to be someone else.

He talks about how Helen supported him, and how lucky he's been to have her by her side, as well as his brother and parents. He says that there were times he was ready to give up, but with having someone to say he believes in him, it meant so much to him.

Jarlath asks him about what was his big realization moment for Once Upon a Time, Colin replies with the scene he had on the Lady Washington, dressed in leather, and working with Robert Carlyle, that he really went "What the hell am I doing". He says that more than anything it was Carlyle's presence, it was like working with Hopkins. Carlyle was one of Colin's favourite actors, he would watch any film he was in, so it was a huge thing for Colin to work with him.

Then he's asked about how working in Once Upon a Time was for him, and if he felt any pressure on it at all. He says he felt a little stressed because the introduction of the character was a big and important thing for the show. He says that in every season, they didn't know if the show was gonna be picked up for a new season until at the very last minute. He says he feels very lucky that he had his wife and kids in Vancouver, so he could still be with them while working. He loved living in Vancouver, he could go there at any time if it was closer to his home. It was important for him to have his kids grow up near family, so even though he loved Vancouver and made some really great friends there, he wanted to go back to Ireland.

Then Jarlath mentions the fandom of OUAT, about how there are people in it that wanted certain things to happen, and that they directed things towards him. Colin says that he's very protective of his family, and that he doesn't want people taking pictures of his children, and that he can't allow people to be disrespectful of his wife. He's been with Helen for 22 years, she's the love of his life, and he doesn't tolerate anyone telling him anything about his own family. They talk about how some people have a feeling of ownership with the characters they watch, and they can't make the distinction between character and actor, how those lives are different.

Jarlath asks him about how it felt when OUAT ended, if there was a feeling of liberation and expanding his horizons after so many years of being dedicated to it. Colin says he adored working in OUAT, and felt very lucky to get to portray a character for such a long period of time. He was, in part, upset when they were finishing and he had to leave a place that he had made such good friends at, but he was excited for what would come next. He wants to play as many different characters as he can.

They then talk about Dolly Parton. Colin says that when he first met Dolly, she was talking about the world and all and as he was listening to her he was thinking "I can now understand how people join cults." He says she has amazing charisma and energy. When the offer came for him to play in a Western, and working with Dolly, he knew he just couldn't say no. She's got so many stories, and when working with Colin she told him about the stories behind some of her songs, like Jolene. He says she's exactly as you see her, she doesn't put on a performance or a persona in interviews and such.

"JJ Sneed. It's a bit of fun," Colin says.

Then Jarlath jumps to how the relationship was behind the scenes of The Right Stuff. Colin says they were living close to each other for five months, so they had a lot of fun together, despite how serious the show was. They became very close, and he says that the real astronauts as well that they portray came to be very close with each other. He mentions the time he and the rest of the cast went to Disneyworld and basically became ten-year-olds. He says that when filming such a serious show, having some craic is needed to balance it out.

He says choosing to film something now is complicated, as he has a family and he doesn’t want to quarantine for two weeks, go and film for a few days, then come back and quarantine for another two weeks before he's with family again. He feels glad that in this difficult time he had the chance to be with his family. He mentions that his dad was having health issues, but he's good now, and again he felt lucky he didn't have to be away during all that.

And that’s what I got! I probably missed a few things, but hearing Colin talk about all that stuff, especially his experiences with the exorcisms and stuff, is so interesting! If you want to listen to it yourself, you can become a patreon for Jarlath right here.

#Colin interviews

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