#i just never caught up lolllll

[bookofmirth]

There was a scene in acosf where Nesta thought that Elain took some training either with Azriel or the twins and many people have assumed that Elain, Azriel and the twins do secret spy training..

But the fact is that Sarah does a lot of telling than showing. So Sarah would have scattered more crumbs that would make us believe El/riel do something off page. Sarah could have written a scene where Elain looks at Azriel and Azriel nods and they both excuse themselves from the room or something. But there was nothing else. It was mentioned that Azriel helped Gwyn with dagger handling, which informed us that he does help her off page, so why didn't Sarah do that with El/riel? We have only read about Azriel being overprotective of Elain and him underestimating her.. What people also don't get is that Nesta didn't know if Elain actually does that. She WONDERED.

However, what gets me so sure that El/riel don't have secret spy training is the bonus chapter. Azriel said that they hadn't done anything beyond finger brushes and shy glances. We were in his head, why didn't he mentioned the training that he does with Elain? The answer: they don't fricking do anything off page. Nothing.

I believe that it was more to show that Elain does something shady behind the scenes but Nesta would never believe that Elain would do that so she goes for the safer option. Cassian has noticed Elain's strange behaviour, which tells us that Elain is doing something off page. I'm curious to know what all that behaviour was.

I am really curious what Elain is up to as well. I just cannot see Elain, who wants to be seen, who mourns the fact that her former fiancé saw her, would want to take on a profession - or even a hobby - that requires her to not be seen. To be underestimated, or to obfuscate her in any way. It has to come down to what is motivating Elain right now, and since we've never had her pov or a chapter where an omniscient narrator follows her, we really don't know what her motivations are. If we knew what she wants right now, it would be much easier to make guesses about what she is up to. There are just some options that would be out of character, and being a spy is one. I don't think it would be anything evil or nefarious, not in canon. I think that acting in a way that would harm her sisters would also be out of character for Elain. So... to me, it's easier to tick things off the list of what she wouldn't do, than it is to guess what she is doing. Especially given her powers and the fact that we don't know what she has seen and kept to herself, and that's if she was even able to decipher it.

idk, the amount of stuff that people are assuming happens OFF PAGE with them is... a lot. Especially when, like you said, we have actual content telling us that nothing has happened in that way. And why, why in the world would Az, or the omniscient narrator who was telling us the scene in his chapter, not have a single thought about Elain that wasn't related to his dong. His chapter gave us every single opportunity to see what was going on between them, if anything, and it gave us "he hadn't thought beyond his fantasies" or whatever. That's it.

I mean we had an omniscient narrator in acosf. That's the thing people keep ignoring or not understanding, idk. We don't need Cassian or Nesta to be observant and notice anything going on between Az and Elain. There is an omniscient narrator who can fill in the blanks for us. But no blanks were filled in, because nothing has been going on.

I agree with you that Sarah does more telling than showing. She has a habit of slapping us in the face with things, which is reason 1 of 231214334 why I don't do much theorizing. Like her "could have sworn" or "fate stood up" or "as if" etc. She's not subtle. She can't be subtle when she's telling us how beautiful and powerful and clever and mean and sexy everyone is all the time. Which is fine! There are other authors where we can subtlety, if that's what we're looking for.

[bravernificationbeam]

I've never watched Supernatural so this ship ask game feels like a great opportunity to get you to explain Midam to me

LOLLLLL that makes 1 and 1/3 of us! (i've only seen s1-s10)

obviously i ship midam lol! so midam is like

adam milligan, rando nobody younger half brother of the winchester bros who's the result of a one night stand their dad had after their mom died. they don't know about him until a. he's like 19 b. after he and his mom have died actually (the first episode they 'appear' in, it's as the ghouls who have eaten them and taken on their appearances)

michael, oldest baddest bitch archangel. spn was originally supposed to be 5 seasons (and should have been imo!) and the culminating Thing of seasons 4 and 5 basically is that sam and dean are supposed to be vessels of the apocalypse, so that michael and lucifer can have their big rematch and destroy half the planet in the process probably. dean is meant to be michael's vessel and sam is meant to be lucifer's. dean and sam are like WTF???? NO???? the angels try to do everything in their power to get them to say yes and cas, angel who rescued dean from hell and has a crush on him, is caught in the middle of it all

one of the things the angels do in this whole thing is bring adam back from the dead so they can essentially use adam as a bargaining piece, since he comes from the same bloodline as sam and dean--sort of--and thereby could probably handle being michael's vessel

point a to point b is not that important but michael in his true form comes down and gets adam to say yes to being his vessel. meanwhile adam is staring at this BIBLICAL MONSTER like 😯 just a very genuine awe, in contrast to the winchester bros' terror, that we in the midam fandom like to say is his monsterfucker face LOL

so michael has adam be his vessel--close enough to dean, michael decides--to this big battle with lucifer, cas and dean manage to seal all four of them--michael, adam, lucifer, and sam (who's accepted being lucifer's vessel)--in 'the cage' in hell, where lucifer's been since he was cast out of heaven or whatever

we learn from sam who comes back that cage years are like 100x earth years.

GUESS WHO THE SHOW FORGOT ABT???? OOOOOPPPPPPPSSSSS.......

SO they bring these two characters, still sharing the same body, back in s15. 10 whole fucking years later, or 1000 cage years if we take sam's word for it. what's happened to them?

DEVOTION.

michael just sits there contentedly as adam gets diner food, is the FIRST person to bring adam up when tfw capture them, freely lets adam come and go to consciousness as he pleases, seems perfectly content to just let adam determine their life from now on, whateverrrr. and adam's perfectly happy like this! "it's not like i can go back to college, what with an archangel inside of me" said it before and i'll say it again. why did he. say it. like that.....

they commiserate over how much their families suck, michael says "you and I have been together for years, my father [god] and I have been together for eternity"--this little rando human becomes the most important thing in his life. 🥺 just through kindness. seeing each other as people. knowing each other inside and out.

godddddddd. it's choosing love. it's learning a gentle alternative. it's not forgiveness but an internal peace. it's "it didn't have to be you but I'm glad it was." it's "we only had each other" (LINE ADAM SAYS) !!!!!! it's making each other better people!!!! it's MAYBE THIS WORLD IS ANOTHER PLANET'S HELL. it's KESHA RAINBOW!!!!!!

[yagamisdiary]

I’ve been reading books on Wattpad for years and none of them have given me the amount of turmoil that Elida has. You sincerely deserve your flowers 🌹

I started reading a few months back and only recently have I fully caught up and when I say I’ve cried literally so much 😭 in the bathroom, in my bedroom, at the table 💀the list goes on

One thing that I just can’t seem to get over was Ambrose’s fate. To me there’s just so much mystery!! What exactly was he thinking in his last moments? Would he have forgiven yn? Did he feel guilty in the slightest for what he did/was doing, or was he too mentally skewed to comprehend? How long was he plotting and how did he and Markell even come together? Did he have no shame selling yn off to the guy who killed their parents (Ambrose was usually v protective over her)? What was yn’s exact reason for killing him, was it on impulse and did she end up regretting it??? UGHHH THERES JUST SM

Truly he’s grown to be my favourite character and it’s so sad seeing him end up like that. I can’t help but just wonder endlessly about what was going on in that hurt, damaged mind of his. Part of me likes to believe that all their deceased family has been reunited and that they’re not actually gone 🥲

But honestly well done. You have such talent it’s unimaginable! I hope you stay well and take care 🤍

AMBROSE IS GETTING SM LOVE TODAY ??? WHATS GOING ON LOLLLLL

i was going to address a lot of those questions in the book but i honestly rather leave it up to mystery and the readers. i love when i read a book and im left wondering about it for weeks after because there’s so much to think about… maybe that’s why a lot of my books are that way LOL

most importantly, the way ambrose found out markell and how they came together never gets revealed because (MAJOR SPOILERS) they’re both dead so the only two ppl in the world who know the answer can’t say it. it’s like the secret died with them and i like the sound of that in an odd way.

i had originally planned to insert a chapter from ambrose pov on how he found out and how he felt throughout but there was already SO MUCH going on in the book that mentally and emotionally, i didn’t have it in me to write such an INTENSE chapter (also don’t think you guys deserved it atp in time either)

to bring this to an end, i know a lot of ppl have so many questions but if the answer isn’t already in the book, it’s because i wanna leave it up to interpretation

for example : the whole phoenix and armin thing! it’s never said at all in the book that phoenix is gay or that he and armin start something together but it is hinted that armin has a thing for phoenix

a lot of ppl keep asking if phoenix feels the same way or if they ever end up together and the answer is ITS UP TO YOU it’s never going to say in the book (there’s literally only one more chapter left and i ain’t gonna spend it talking abt them little twinkle stars) so honestly it’s gonna be up to the readers interpretation!

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for creating a nightmare realm on a different plane of existence and dragging all students from my own founded school with me?

I (can't remember my age, M) used to go to a college which was heavily focused on the research of human evolution, and was well regarded by the general public as a result. The school found an ancient labyrinth underneath a city where we learned of an ancient race of humans that lived side by side with the Great Ones, the latter of which later ascended and left those humanoids to wait and look after the place. The head of the school (almost as ancient as those labyrinths lolllll, M), who we'll call W, and an old schoolmate of mine (can't care enough to learn that douche's name, M), who we'll call L, got into a dispute sometime later. W thought that, to evolve humanity to the level of the Great Ones and to ascend, we only needed insight, and to grow eyes on our brains. L, having found a left behind Great One, thought that, to ascend, we needed to use their blood. W thought the blood was dangerous, and that humanity should not treat something like that carelessly.

The two couldn't find common ground, so L went off to start his own organization, focused only on blood. It became the main trade of the city, since the Great Ones' blood could heal any injury or illness of a human, but he conveniently never mentioned, and continuously covered up, the fact that that blood mutated humans overtime, turning them into beasts from overuse.

Obviously, this was stupid and not at all the way to ascend, so I veered away from both W and L's organizations to start my own, which focused more on first learning of the Great Ones and reaching out to commune with them. For this research, we needed people, so I had some trained fighters and hardy criminals roam the streets of the city nearby to bring those people here for us to experiment on. This may sound bad, but it was a necessary step to ascension, and who cares anyway? Humanity was well out of its prime, it was time to leave this plane, anyway. My organization tried to make an artificial Great One out of bodies merged together, which didn't go quite as planned, and it reeked on top of that. Big disappointment, and now the streets are prowling with human amalgamations of several things. I tried the eye method as well, by taking the eyes of some prisoners and lining the brains of some others with them, but to no avail. I concluded ascension isn't something humans can do artificially.

One old classmate of mine had managed to ascend, but she became braindead as a result, or otherwise unable to communicate back to us, probably because it was too much for her. This led me to believe that it's not possible for just one person at a time, but that a group should be able to do it together. I also learned that dreams were the answer, and that to get closer to the Great Ones and directly communicate with them, dreams were our best option. I had everyone in my organization don a ritualistic cage on their head as a sort of antenna to direct Them to us, like a lightning rod, and we eventually managed to all leave this world behind and enter a nightmare, of which I am the host. We have audience with a Great One (infant, M?), but other than myself and some guy that tried to spy on us and thought I wouldn't notice lol, I haven't actually seen any others, though all our bodies in the waking world are long abandoned and dead. I don't think that counts as murder, I clearly explained the steps to take.

Anyway, TLDR, both the use of Great Ones blood and just gaining insight are stupid ideas, so I turned to closer research and dreams to ascend. Some sacrifices had to be made, so I hired kidnappers and had experiments performed on people to get closer to the truth, including fusing bodies together and creating a mass of rotting corpses to try and become an artificial Great One. Some people got caught inside the walls, too, but that's not on me, I didn't do any carpenting. It's not like I lied about blood being good for us and covering up the people losing their lives to it all just to save face, either. Furthermore, my method actually worked after all! So, AITA?

I know it all sounds very bad, but do consider I'm neurodivergent.

[petewentzsextape]

have you considered that BOTH mikey and pete are eating disordered?! they're like the two most toxic guys on earth to me they're just male manipulating each other back and forth. making each other worse. unhealthy coping behavior kings

MALE MANIPULATING EACH OTHER BACK AND FORTH LOLLLLL

i usually like to go with pete isn't disordered he just has good genetics (and by good genetics i mean he doesnt starve to get skinny hes like a "im never hungry :(" type and his manic ass is always running around) and mikey does in fact have anorexia so being with pete is a kind of special form of self harm. cuz that's really how it be...

but anyway i think pete would accidentally feed into it no pun intended cuz hes too caught up in his own issues to realize that theres a correlation between his boyfriend being hot and skinny and bony and the fact that he's "never hungry" "dont worry about it i ate dinner before you came over"

sorry is this too much projection?

[dear-mrs-otome]

Okay so this is my third question and i hope you don't mind:

Does silvio become king in the romantic ending?

Who becomes king of Rhodolite in the romantic ending?

Also what is MC's position in both endings? Is she silvio's fiancee or mistress?

Also does Silvio and Rio make up?

How does the confession in the romantic ending happen?

I'm sorry if there are too many questions but i m just so curious.

I don't mind Yukina I promise! 💕

1. Silvio becomes king in both endings, via the same route mostly - backing his father into a corner with evidence of his illegal auctions. In the romantic it's less nuclear, the queen talks the king into seeing reason and stepping down to let the next generation take charge.

2. Chevalier is the king Belle chooses in both ends, for the same reasons - that she thinks he's the best fit for the unstable power balance on the continent.

3. In the dramatic end she's his lover, clearly with intent to make her queen. In the romantic end, she is his betrothed already - she didn't know he was going to make a play for the crown until after he did, which made it even funnier when he told her he'd never consider any other woman so he was gifting her a throne now too. Cue poor Emma freaking out a minute like wait a second I'm engaged to the king I'M ENGAGED TO THE KING OH GOD

4. Sort of? In both ends Rio comes back to Benitoite and takes his place as prince again. It's implied in the dramatic that he's helping Silvio out in the political sphere, but it's made all the more evident in the romantic end, where Rio stands up in support of Silvio's bid for the throne and tells his parents he's done hiding in the shadows and plans to actively help Silvio too. He tells them not to worry because there's almost nothing the two of them can't do together, and clearly seems ready to take on a position of authority and trust in Silvio's reign.

5. The confession comes mainly in the Chp 24 checkpoint. It's not as blatant as the dramatic end, where Silvio's shouting his love for her (lolllll) but more implied. After Emma rescues him by claiming him as her fiancé and they're back at the Rhodolite castle, he gets his wounds tended to and as soon as she knows he's got the all clear she tacklehugs him. She thanks him for all he's done, and he sputters about not doing it for HER or anything >.>

Emma's just mmhmm....so I was mistaken then? But he can't answer that, and they both know he's just being a tsun, so she confronts him with it. She says he's wanted her to be his possession for a long time now, but that wasn't REALLY what he wanted was it? Despite all his claims otherwise he clearly wanted her heart/loved her, otherwise he would have just gone along with his father's decree and not defied him for her sake. And she reminds him her heart can't be bought...but she'll give it, special, just to him. She'll be sure he takes responsibility for making her fall in love with him!

It's Silvio.exe has stopped, and he's silent for literally minutes, red-faced, as Emma's panicking more and more inside like SAY SOMETHING. Eventually he kisses the top of her head and then her lips proper, and is doing the forehead to forehead thing even as he's still tsundere just CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT CAUGHT BY A SAUCY GAL LIKE YOU. They start bickering, but he's also hugging her as hard as he can, as red as she's ever seen him, and confirming she knows what being his fiancée means and such right?

They discuss that a bit (also the fact that her noble title is a real thing, Sariel made it official so she's not technically a commoner anymore) and her coming to Benitoite, Silvio all winkwonk saying he'll have to buy her new dresses and everything - she IS his woman, no?

He looks so happy saying it she can't even argue the gifts, and that's about when he yeets her onto the bed with him and says he's gotta do something about that 'first time' of hers he'd supposedly stolen :3 especially now that she's his betrothed, she should know what that means. AKA free rein for fuckin...though we gloss over most any details again, curse you Cybird.

[meltingpotimagines]

Husband!Hawks

this mans

is not husband material

but!

for the right girl? he may be willing to play the part

listen, mans may not be a simp but he is cHARMING okay? he got potential

besides he’s lowkey a simp for the right girl but whatever

was very romantic when he proposed

managed to rent out an entire park perks of being the #2 hero

decked out a gazebo with fairy lights, candles, and rose petals

considered making a heart with the rose petals but decided just scattering them around would be classier and less cheesy

set up a picnic with a basket f u l l of food

sandwiches, cheese, fruit, desserts, the works

and ofc a bottle of champagne bc tonight you two would be celebrating

or so he hoped

you wouldn’t say no right?

i mean who could say no to that gorgeous face pHEW

pulled out the ring box right as you swallowed the last of the macaron you’d been nibbling on

his heart sped up as your eyes widened, a breathless ‘keigo’ escaping your lips

“i know you might not be ready, but the more i get to know you, the more i realize that i don’t want to live the rest of my life without you. you’re the girl of my dreams, and i never want to wake up. would you marry me?”

“are you s t u p i d? ofc i will!”

his grin has never been as bright as it was at that moment

slipped the ring onto your finger and immediately pulled you into his arms and took off into the air

slowed your assent as you two soared above the clouds and spun around, unable to contain his joy

gazed at your face with those golden eyes, taking in your beauty, before giving you the sweetest, most tender kiss you’ve ever felt

oh boy the wedding

when i tell you this was an e v e n t i mean anyone who was anyone wanted to go to this wedding

but only those that were close to the two of you were invited

haha suckerrrs

somehow got all might to officiate

who knew all might could officiate weddings? 

certainly neither of you

no one really knows how that decision came to be but i mean no one was complaining either so

he let you make all the decisions except for one

the flowers

he h a d to be involved in the flowers

he appreciates pretty flora and if the bouquets and floral arrangements at his wedding weren’t the prettiest possible he would n o t be satisfied

teared up as you walked down the aisle (which he will neither confirm nor deny)

not that he wasn’t lookin’ mighty fine too

just imagine: tan suit with a black button up and a gold tie, gold cufflinks with a ruby set in each

i know those are his costume colors but he looks good in them so y’all can fight me

dipped you for your first kiss as husband and wife to everyone’s amusement

best believe a few different cameras caught that

the timing of the wedding was planned out so the reception was held at night

semi-sheer white tents and custom black ten-feet tall candelabras

the soft glow from the candles combined with the moonlight made for the perfect dreamy vibe 

he managed to find a florist that could dye white roses black and cover them them with a thin layer of gold glitter

was it necessary? no

did it look good? heck yeah

the gold glitter shined beautifully against the black roses

tho

the way your eyes sparkled as you danced with him was far more captivating

you two had flown up into the sky to dance your first dance together

your silhouettes against the bright moon made for a perfect picture

the only reason you ended up coming down was because neither of you had eaten much that day and a guy’s gotta eat

he gonna need stamina later *winky face*

you cannot convince me the man wouldn’t insist on fried chicken

like a whole buffet table of different flavors

but i mean fried chicken is good so can’t blame him

everyone expected him to smear some cake on your face when he fed you that first piece

instead wiped off the frosting that got on your lips with his thumb and licked it off

your best friend caught t h a t one on camera and will never stop teasing you about how flustered you got

he kept up a great image of a polite host but on the inside he was ready to g o

it had been a long day and he was ready love on his wife

heh

wife

he likes the sound of that

peppers your face with kisses on the ride home

yeah yeah i know h o n e y m o o n but where y’all were goin’ was forever away and mans just wants to shower you with affection as soon as possible (esp considering he had to keep his hands off you all day since you two never had a moment alone)

scoops you up the second you’re out of the car and carries you over the threshold

gives you a soft kiss before putting you down

and that’s the last soft kiss you’re gonna get for the night lolllll

definitely the type to make you breakfast in the morning

also the type to cook in nothing but an apron and boxers but anyway

you better be up in time to see that sight bc if not, you’re getting breakfast in bed not that i’d complain

he’s not the best cook but mans can manage some bacon and eggs

plus some fresh fruit bc it makes it more visually appealing and less like he doesn’t really know how to cook

he set the tray on your lap and climbs back into bed, pulling you into his side so your head can rest on his chest as you two munch on breakfast

there’s something so soothing about the sound of his heartbeat

a soft little rhythm that nearly puts you back the sleep

didn’t help that he was unconsciously running his fingertips along your arm, drawing random squiggles and shapes

will tilt your head up by the chin every so often to give you a little peck on the lips

if you do fall asleep, he’ll just gaze at you softly while lightly tracing your features

still can’t process that you’re married

someone actually loved him enough to marry him

there was someone that didn’t just admire or use him bc of his quirk

didn’t give him attention purely bc he’s the number 2 hero

you saw all his flaws and shortcomings and insecurities and loved him regardless

if he’s dreaming, please don’t wake him up

you cleaning him wings for him is something he loves so much

it’s such an intimate task that makes him feel cared for

loved

how much time you take in cleaning them and how tenderly you handle each wing

it’s one of his favorite ways to spend time with you

it’s nice being taken care of for once, esp when he’s always taking care of others

absolutely loves taking you on night flights

will take you in his arms and just soar above the clouds

with the clouds below you and the stars above, it feels like you two are the only people that exist

definitely dances with you during some of those flights

wraps one arm more tightly around your waist and take your hand in his and just… slowly spins in the air

it doesn’t look like much but when you’re just looking into each other’s eyes, it feels like the most romantic and intimate moment you could ask for

your life is quite literally in his hands but you’ve never felt safer

even more so when you wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face in the crook

his arms wound securely around your waist, the comforting smell of his scent, the kisses he presses to your temple every so often

it feels like home

likes startling/scaring you a lot

will sneak into the house after work just so he can tap on your shoulder from behind 

the gasp you let out as you freak out for half a second never fails to amuse him the jerk

will always make it up to you with long, deep kiss

if he gets home late after a long day he’ll just crawl into bed and pull you into his arms before burying his face into your hair

no talking, just breathes in your scent before he crashes

he sleeps really well like that, but, although he won’t admit it, he sleeps best when you hold him, his face buried in your chest

he feels warm and safe, like it’s okay to be vulnerable for once

absolutely flirts with you while at work

probably definitely sends you a few spicy pics or texts

it gives him such smug satisfaction knowing the affect he has on you when he’s not even physically there

picks up take-out when he knows your too tired to or would rather not cook

like to back hug you and wrap you up with his wings

9/10 times will bury his face in your neck and nuzzle

sometimes if he spots you while on patrol, he’ll fly over and flirt with you

“how you doin’, gorgeous? the name’s hawks. what’s a pretty lil’ thing like you doin’ in a neighborhood like this?”

sir, this is one of the safest areas in the city pLS-

but if you actually a r e in danger? oh boy

no one, and i mean no one, touches his girl

honestly i’d rather fight bakugo one on one than deal with keigo’s wrath

he’s one of the chillest people you will ever meet, but when he’s that mad? s c a r y

will keep a close watch on you for a while after that

asks you to always let him know where you’ll be and to text him when you get home

definitely considered installing a tracking app on your phones

he’ll calm down eventually, but for the moment he’s extremely anxious

although he certainly tried his best to hide it

he didn’t want to stress you out too, especially if you had any anxieties from it yourself

he was just afraid to lose you

he doesn’t know what he’d do without you

after all, you’re the most precious thing in the world to him and he loves you more than he could ever put into words

[keichan]

Sanctuary

The bottom floor of your college library became your sanctuary when you were a freshman. So was someone else

Kuroo x reader

A/N:

I found this draft in my google docs from early 2020! Not really a fan of it but it has potential for a part two. Maybe I will maybe I won’t. Please enjoy 4.4k words that I wrote two years ago! Def a cliffhanger lolllll

wc: 4.4k

The bottom floor of the library at your university was reserved for pure silence. It slowly became integrated into your schedule to come to the library around midnight to however long you felt obligated to stay. Your roommate at your dorm liked to fall asleep around 9pm so you’d feel guilty if you fiddled around in your bedroom. 

You sat at a booth by the stair entrance every evening where you could prop your feet up and still get a good view of all the other students and professors working around you. The routine was always to do assignments, study for exams and quizzes, and then watch a show or movie on some streaming platform if you weren’t feeling too tired. 

A month into your freshman year of college, you have it marked as your own personal sanctuary. 

Tonight you began to slowly nod off into your laptop. It was just one of those nights where your legs didn’t want to carry you back to the dorm until the last possible moment. 

The clutter of notebooks smacked the hardwood table of the booth ahead of you. You and many other students snap your heads up to see a boy dressed in sweats, disheveled black hair, scrambling to pick up his belongings. People let out minuscule groans of annoyance at the commotion, but quickly returned their attention back to themselves. 

He quickly glanced up at you as you were directly in his line of vision as the expression of worry and embarrassment sprinkled across his tired face. He tried to look natural as he quickly slammed himself into his seat trying to look like he’d been there all that time. 

You sent him a sleepy smile of understanding before you propped your chin up on your palm before gluing your eyes back to your show, slightly more awake than before. You’ve never seen him on the bottom floor this whole first month of classes, but this was the first night of many to come.

——

The next evening you found yourself in your usual seat. The boy with messy hair was there at the booth in front of you already. This time looking much more lively, accompanied by two redbull cans. He had a pair of headphones in and was softly switching his eyes between his laptop to his notebook for his notes. 

As you sat down, he caught you in his peripheral. He quickly made eye contact with you before dipping his head in a small greeting with the corner of his mouth pulling in a slight smirk. He returned his eyes back to his paper and you opened your textbook to begin your own night of studying. 

——-

Through the week you begin to notice the boy with unruly hair, consistently wearing sweats, had made the booth in front of you his regular seat. The two of you exchanged small smiles if your eyes ever caught each other as the days went by. By now it was ingrained in both of your minds that you’ll be seeing each other for the remainder of the semester. 

Tonight you sat in the booth alone with your notes scattered everywhere. You had already been in the library about two hours before he arrived. It was now nearing 3am and you were slightly snoring on top of your laptop. You’ve been fading in and out of sleep for the last hour or so whilst trying to finish the packet of homework that your chemistry professor had assigned over the weekend.

You stir to the sensation of something cold pressing to your arm. You groggily look up to see the boy from the neighboring booth pressing an ice cold Red Bull to your arm.

He offers a small smile before whispering in a low voice . “Whatever you're working on seems important tonight. Looks like you need to stay up. Don’t worry about paying me back, it’s on the house!”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes and the black haired boy before accepting the drink into your hands.

“You can’t go around acting like you own the vending machine.”

He ignored your statement. “The caffeine in it will give you about 3-4 hours more if you need it.” He towered over your notes before he quickly widened his eyes. 

“You’re in CHEM 1070?!” he accidentally raised his voice too loud, to have everyone in the nearby vicinity shoot him a glare. 

He narrowed his eyes at the students that surrounded the two of you before sliding himself into the seat across from you, repeating himself in a hushed whisper. “I mean, you’re in CHEM 1070? Me too!” You rub the sleep from your eyes to notice the most excited look on his face. You couldn’t think who in their right mind would be this excited about sharing a chemistry class with a random student at 3am. You may be a chemistry major, but it isn’t the most thrilling thing to talk about when you wake up from a nap. 

“Yeah? I have Ibe as my professor. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, his 11am class.��

The stranger places his hands on the desk before leaning forwards. “Oh yeah? Me too? I really love this class! I can help you if you need it! I’m a chemistry major!”

It makes more sense. Especially now that you know it’s just not a random guy overly excited for a subject that they don’t understand. You couldn’t help but grin at his enthusiasm, lulling you out of your sleepiness. 

“I’m actually a chem major as well! Have you started on the packet? It’s due on Monday but I’m just not sure how to balance these formulas. Same with the sequences of reaction towards the back of it.”

He had a sly smile resting on his face. “Let me get my bag and we can start working on it.” He paused to extend his hand.

“Kuroo Tetsurou”

You grabbed his hand to shake it. 

“L/N F/N”

——-

You come to find out that not only did Kuroo have academic scholarships for your university, but also sports. He was a starter on the college men's volleyball team as a first year. The reason why he found out about the campus library was because it was the only place around that was open 24 hours that wasn’t the dorm lobby. He would shower and show up after practice to study. 

“It’s so goddamn bright” You grab Kuroo by the shirt and place him in front of you as you exit the building, using his tall figure to block out the sun. He hunched over to let out a rather harsh laugh causing you to freeze. The students around you stared out at his outburst. You quickly tugged on his shirt for him to stand up.

“What? Can I not find it amusing that you used me as your shield?”

“No, Kuroo, not with that laugh.” You flicked his arm before tugging his shirt sleeve to follow you to grab an early lunch. 

It had been roughly three weeks since you two had become acquainted on the bottom floor of the library and the two of you had already created a routine on the days you had shared class. Grab food as soon as possible after class. If you two had the time, hang out at each other’s dorms. Kuroo went to practice on Tuesdays and Fridays. Later in the evening, sit at you two’s declared booth on the bottom floor of the library. You had even begun attending his games every Saturday evening. Home or away.On the days you two didn’t have class, you two found a reason to hang out. Your two roommates knew from the get go, that you two together were inseparable.  

The two of you sat at a table in the dining hall that sat between your two dorm halls. You looked at Kuroo as he talked about how he missed his friends from high school. He was talking about his childhood friend Kenma and how he was coming to visit the campus soon in hopes that he could attend the university soon. A small smile rested on your lips the entire time. You never felt bored around Kuroo, everything about him was just interesting.

“Y/NNNNNN” Kuroo whined, grasping you from your thoughts.

“Huh?” You meet his eyes, your focus now completely on him. 

“We should go shopping in Shibuya today!” 

You place your chopsticks on the table and support your chin on your palm. “I’m interested! I’m not from Tokyo, I’m from Nagoya, so I’ve never had the opportunity!” Enthusiasm laced your voice. Kuroo couldn’t help but smile.

“Let’s go!”

-------

“Wow! All of these shops are so cool!” 

After roughly two hours of train rides from the outskirts of Tokyo, the two of you had made it to Shibuya. It was Monday afternoon so the streets weren’t as crowded as they normally would be and it was still the time of day where kids were barely getting out of school.

“Kuroo, we should go in here!” You quickly grab his hand and duck into the store. What drew you to it was the fact that it was nearly five stories and had cute clothes on display at the front of the store. Plus loads of sales bargains. Kuroo’s face grew slightly red as he walked behind you. 

You didn’t realize that you were still holding onto him until you released your hand to shift through shirts to find your size. Truthfully, you didn’t think anything of it, but Kuroo couldn’t figure out why there was the slightest sinking feeling in his chest when you had let go.

You held the shirt against your chest. “Whaddya think?” You asked, glancing down. Kuroo gave you a thumbs up. 

“Kuroo, I’ve got an idea!” 

He stared at you with an expression that said go on.

“15 minutes. You go find a fit for me and I do the same. Then we can go take some cute pictures around Tokyo!”

“I like where you’re going with this, but may I ask, why 15 minutes?” 

“Gives it a sense of competition, doesn’t it? Anyways!” You check your phone for the time. “15 minutes start… Now!” 

----

You turn to admire yourself in the mirror outside the dressing room. “I’ve got to say Kuroo, you could change your major to design and would actually excel in it.” He walks up behind you and presses his hands on your shoulders peering at your reflection with a sheepish grin. He chose for you to wear a form fitting pleated dark burgundy skirt, accompanied with a black long sleeve shirt and a pair of black velvet boots that had a slight heel on them.

“Just another thing for me to be good at, isn’t it?” You elbow him softly in the stomach, staring at him in the mirror. He met your eyes and quickly bent over to pick up the outfit you selected before dipping into the changing room.

You leaned against the wall scrolling through Twitter.

“Well?” Kuroo asked, walking out of the dressing room with his hands out.

You slid your phone into your pocket and crossed your arms, glancing up and down at him smirking. He was wearing black torn skinny jeans, with a floral short sleeve button up in shades of black, burgundy, maroon. You didn’t grab any shoes for him but his black Converse sufficed.

“I have to say that I did a good job!”

“Wow, Y/N! You can’t even tell me that I look good?” He let out a light laugh, a look of anticipation graced his features. 

“You look really good, Kuroo!” You grabbed his wrist pulling him to look at the mirror with you. In a second you whipped your phone out of your pocket and nudged him to pose for a picture. Kuroo slung an arm over your shoulder and pulled you towards his chest and placed a genuine smile on his lips. He rested his head atop yours. 

“Looks like we both did a good job, let’s go explore the rest of Tokyo!”

Kuroo led you around many different wards of the city. Trying street food, looking into small shops and trying your best to be each other’s personal photographers with candids and posing. The whole day was only filled with smiles and laughter. So this is the adventure that college would bring you two. As the day dipped into night you two silently prayed that the next four years would be like that for yourselves.

Kuroo paused on the sidewalk to glance at his watch. He quickly grabbed your hand and broke into a sprint. “Kuroo! Why’re you running!?”

“We’re about to miss the last train to the college! I lost track of time!” His voice was lost in the wind. He came to a sudden halt causing you to slam into his back, but he held his ground supporting you. He quickly slid his phone over the card reader and passed for the gate. You fumbled with your phone and did the same. Hand and hand you two sprinted into the last train car.

Kuroo grabbed the hand rail on the ceiling of the train as it began to move. Your other hand quickly moved to his bicep to brace yourself. You both sighed before looking at each other with a shit eating grin.

You and Kuroo shuffle to an empty seat. You quietly yawn and place your head on his shoulder, your eyes fluttering shut. Your arm lazily linked around his, all the fatigue from the day hitting you at once. Kuroo smiled to himself as you quickly fell asleep without a word. Fifteen stops until you’re back on campus.

The grin rested on his face as he used his left hand to scroll through the pictures the two of you had taken that day. Your little photoshoot idea in one of the alleys of Harajuku. Propping your phone up against the bricks of neighboring shops and buildings as you and Kuroo striked ridiculous poses. He stopped at one picture. It was an off guard of you staring up at him, holding his hands, the both of you smiling wide in the midst of laughter. The bright streetlights made your features glow.

His chest grew warm as he added it to his favorites. He locked his phone and slid it into his pocket before resting his head on top of yours. He glanced ahead of him to see an elderly woman grinning at him.

“You two are such a beautiful couple! Matching outfits and everything!” she chuckled quietly. Blush automatically covered Kuroo’s cheeks as he tried to withhold his composure. 

“No ma’am. We’re just friends- the outfits were just a coincidence.” He tumbled over his words.

The old woman clicked her tongue and shook her head, laughing quietly. The train came to a halt and she rose from her seat, dipping her head in a gentle bow before exiting. He sighed and rested his head atop yours once again. He placed his hand on top of yours and waited until you arrived at your destination.

-----

“Tetsuro!” Your voice pierced his ears as he answered his phone.

“Y/N? What’s up? I’m heading to the library right now. Do you want me to stop by the convenience store to buy your favorite again?” He changed the direction he was walking assuming he was correct.

“No! I was thinking screw studying tonight. I wanna do something fun before winter break starts. Like… I don’t know… Go with me to get my nose pierced!” Kuroo turned back on his heel, changing directions yet again, but this time to your dorm. You could hear his smile through the  phone. 

“Let’s go!”

At this point in the semester, everyone who has crossed you and Kuroo’s path knows that the two of you spend every waking moment together. You’ve become well acquainted with his roommate Yaku, as he has with yours. Despite her monotonous tones and being unbelievably uptight, she actually really enjoys his company when he visits your dorm room. You’ve gone home with him on the weekends sometimes and finally managed to meet Kenma. Despite his quiet demeanor, he’s quite fond of you. You knew that it made Kuroo rather joyous to have you and Kenma become close, though he’d never admit it to your face. His father and grandparents absolutely adored you and they were always happy to see your face when you’d come to visit. 

“Tetsu, is now a good time to tell you that I’m afraid of needles?” You turned to him, stifling a small laugh in the piercers chair.

“Ain’t that some shit.” he chuckled. He studied your face as nerves consumed you. His hand extended to give your cheek a slight pinch of reassurance. 

The piercer grabbed your nose gently with the clamp. “It’s okay if you want to hold your boyfriend’s hand if you want to. You froze in place, mainly because there’s nowhere else for you to go. You felt your face get hot. “It’s not like that, we-”

You were quickly caught off guard by Kuroo's hands clasping over yours. He made eye contact with the piercer.

“Thank you, sir.”

 He returned his gaze to you to offer a soft smile, outside of his normal sly one.

“Breathe, dummy.”

You nodded, trying your best not to feel flustered, you stared forward.

“Ready? One. Two. Three.”

---- 

You and Kuroo stood outside of your dorm room, both yawning as it dipped into the late hours of the night. You turned around to be face to face with him. He reached up and gently tapped your nose with his finger.

“I’ve got to say… You look really cute with that piercing, Y/N.” His voice was soft. He placed his hand on the wall behind you glancing down to your figure. You felt his breath softly fan your face as his eyes studied your features. His dark eyes bore into yours as he leans closer. Heat quickly consumed your face as you pressed yourself further against the wall. 

“I-I uh- thank you Tetsuro.” You stuttered.

“Of course!” He leans up to place his arms behind his head, just to yawn again. As if being that close didn’t phase him. 

“I’ll see you this weekend for movie night since Riko is going home, right? Then you go home for break the next morning, right ?”

You nod vigorously.

“See you.”

Kuroo walked down the hallway without turning back while you leaned against the wall wondering what the weird pang in your chest was. 

------

You and Kuroo curled up next to each other underneath the blankets of your small twin-sized mattress. After tonight's study session on the bottom floor, the two of you headed to your dorm and began your movie night. The laptop balanced on your legs. You tried to enjoy the film, but Kuroo was aggressively tapping away at his keyboard. 

“Tetsu, we can’t have a movie night if your nose is going to be buried in your phone! You know that-“

“HA” 

You jump in your seat as Kuroo thrusts his phone in your face.

“You said that your final grade in chem was a 96! Well mine is 98!” Kuroo’s chest swelled with pride as you took his phone from him in disbelief. 

“You little shit! I can’t bel-“

“Believe it, Y/N-chan! I’m the better chem major of the duo.”

He held a fist to his chest and looked off into the corner of your dorm room as if he were living in a movie. You rolled your eyes before hitting his chest. 

“It’s okay Tetsu! I’ll get you next semester!” You sunk back in your seat with a confident smirk resting on your lips.

You two sat in your own pride watching the movie until your eyes began to droop. You feel a light weight on your shoulder and turn to see Kuroo dead asleep. Cute snores coming out every other breath. You couldn’t help but smile. You reached to close your laptop before carefully reaching down on the floor below you.

You return to your spot to feel your eyes begin to close. Not before long you drift off to sleep. 

——

You wake up to something warm wrapped around your body. Your eyes groggily open to be face to face with Kuroo. His eyes crinkle slightly as his eyes catch yours. Your head jerked back in surprise, but his hand was ready to catch you from throwing yourself from the small bed.

Your eyes quickly scanned his face confusedly. Why wasn’t he uncomfortable? Was he just as surprised when he woke up with his arms around you? Was he-

Your thoughts were interrupted by Kuroo stroking a thumb over your cheek. 

“G’morning, Y/N-chan .” His voice was raspy, but his features were softened compared to any other time you’d see him. 

“Good morning, Tetsuro.” You mumble, not breaking away from his gaze. His hand stopped to rest on your cheek, before his eyes fluttered shut. He slowly began to move closer until the tips of your nose touched. 

You jolt up in your bed immediately, refusing to look at him. 

“I’m sorry, I just thought-“ he mumbled in the smallest voice. You ignored him. 

“What time is it?” You scrambled through the sheets looking for your phone, refusing to make eye contact with him. You felt his soft gaze follow your movements. 

“Shit! My train for home leaves in an hour.” You quickly slide yourself off the bed, plopping to the floor. You hurry to get your suitcases together that you’d already packed. The sound of feet landing on the ground next you makes you jump slightly. You nervously fidgeted with your things before a hand clasped your wrists.

“Do you want me to carry these to the station for you, L/N?” His words came out with caution. You flinch at the sound of your surname. Not looking into his direction you nod. He gathers your things in his hands and walks out your room without glancing back. 

Not a word was spoken at the train station. You played with your hands as you tail Kuroo along the streets of the university. His eyes did not shift anywhere but straight ahead. 

Upon arriving he places your bags at your feet. He meets your eyes with a blank, emotionless stare. 

“I’ll see you after break.” With the simple words pouring monotonously from his mouth he turns around with a hand raised. You reach for his shirt as he turns away, but he’s already gone with a swift stride. 

“Tokyo to Nagoya! Now boarding!” 

You sign before picking up your bags and making your way onto the train. Staring at the window, the only thought in your head is why didn’t you kiss him back?

——-

As the spring semester started, you and Kuroo acted as if nothing had occurred before you left, if anything the two of you were closer than before. Casually holding hands as you walked to classes, at the library, to the dorms, but never a word being said by either of it.  

“Tetsuro! Come help me carry this box up the stairs! It’s too heavy!” 

“Make Kenma help you! He’s already down there!” 

It was now the fall semester of your second year of college and you, Kuroo, and Kenma were moving into your apartment. The three of you managed to get a discounted rent on a 3 bedroom on the edge of campus, you all quickly signed the lease right before spring rolled around. 

Kenma grabbed the box from your arms and turned to face up the stairs with a heavy sigh. You chuckled and returned to your car to retrieve smaller boxes. 

A pair of arms snaked around your waist. You smiled and sank into him.

“Tetsuro, you can’t just come behind me like that.”

“Sorry about that.” Kuroo placed a gentle kiss on your temple and took the remaining boxes from your hands. He gave you a quick wink and began walking up the stairs. 

“Tetsu! Those go to my room!”

“I know!” He called over his shoulder.

You reach up to close the trunk of the car before dusting your hands off your shorts. With hands on your hips you stare up to see Kenma glaring down at you from the balcony. You offer a slight wave and a gentle smile just to have him roll his eyes and return inside. 

Your body sank into itself as your features sank. You made your way upstairs to join your two roommates. 

——-

“I’m home.” Kenma appears through the front door to see you and Kuroo holding each other on the couch while watching TV. His face immediately distorted into a look of resentment. 

“Why do you always look like that when the three of us are in the same room, Kenma?” You lifted your head from Kuroo’s chest curiously. He closes the door behind him while muttering, “Why do you two act like that when you’re not even dating, it’s annoying. Just get together already.”

You felt Kuroo stiffen under you before the words poured out of your mouth, “We don’t like each other like that, Kenma. We’re just good friends. Right, Tetsuro?” You slightly dig your elbow into his stomach, awaiting an answer. He quickly straightens up in his spot, leaning away from you.

“Right.” He paused looking to his side. “We’re good friends.” He scratched the back of his head quickly before standing from the couch. 

“I’m going to bed, goodnight.”

You glance down at your watch, calling after him. “Tetsu, it’s only 8pm, why are-“

“Goodnight.”

His bedroom door abruptly closed before you threw your head against the couch. You groaned into your hands as Kenma squinted his eyes at you. 

“For someone whose major is incredibly difficult, and is on the dean’s list, you’re incredibly stupid, aren’t you?”

Your hands slid off your face to reveal a glare. “Who the hell are you calling stupid, Kozu-“

Kenma was already fiddling with his phone, not even looking in your direction. “Kuroo loves you. It’s kind of obvious. He does everything for you and never leaves your side. And you kind of just string him along by letting him sleep with you at night and letting him kiss you. He’s not saying anything so you won’t leave him. If you’re going to keep acting this way you ought to leave him alone.” 

With his nose still buried in his phone he walks to his bedroom without another word. 

[wille-zarr]

Okay hoooo boi do I have things to say about your fic and your writing🙌😭😭😭 (ps I still have plans to draw the reader and Din once I’m done with my commissions because your honor, I LOVE THEM)!

First thing’s first: your writing? Excellent. Characterization? Superb. MC is unlike any character I’ve read before. She’s sassy, really talkative, kinda reckless, definitely flirty, but what I love the most about her is the fact that beneath all of that, she’s been through her own stuff and has a sort of vulnerability that I adore.

That being said, my favorite parts of this fic are definitely when said vulnerability can be seen (added bonus when it’s seen by everyone’s favorite tin can, Din Djarin).

My absolute favorite chapter so far is Chapter 7 (“Kids, Cover Your Ears”), because not only do we get to see protective, Soft Din™️, but MC actually lets her guard down enough to forget herself and let us see her. Like when she reluctantly keeps her mouth shut “for the children”. Or when Kuill mentions her past and we see her struggle internally before running into Din, and for a split second, not keep up the walls she’s built around herself. Peak characterization, I say!!!! *shakes fist at the sky*

I hope this is all making sense😂 When you asked what we remember your writing by, for me, it’s that—characters that are more layered than any onion or ogre in existence😂

I admit I’ve flipped through your amazing fic countless times! (and reread the part where Din tells those people to let her go👀, when she wakes up and is finally honest with him, when he tells her to stay—gosh, my heart—😭).

You are AMAZING!!!! Please keep at it becauee you’ve got insane talent and I love your story!

^^^me when I saw how amazingly long your comment was jshdhdhshs

I DIDN’T EVEN READ IT FOR THE FIRST 30 MINUTES BECAUSE I WAS ENJOYING THE FEELING OF JUST- KNOWING IT WAS THERE IF THAT MAKES SENSE

Okay hoooo boi do I have things to say about your fic and your writing🙌😭😭😭 (ps I still have plans to draw the reader and Din once I’m done with my commissions because your honor, I LOVE THEM)!

AHHH I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THEM!!! I’ll also be sure to link to the fanart on both Ao3 and tumblr so everyone can see it!! (And for the record, I’ll also being to this with any fanart anyone sends in, such as this amazing fanart from @styxxus!)

First thing’s first: your writing? Excellent. Characterization? Superb. MC is unlike any character I’ve read before. She’s sassy, really talkative, kinda reckless, definitely flirty, but what I love the most about her is the fact that beneath all of that, she’s been through her own stuff and has a sort of vulnerability that I adore.

That being said, my favorite parts of this fic are definitely when said vulnerability can be seen (added bonus when it’s seen by everyone’s favorite tin can, Din Djarin).

Oh my goodness, I am always so thrilled when readers tell me they adore Ka’r’ika/Reader because she means SO MUCH to me. Ngl, she’s actually based on an old Clone Wars OC me and @sana-katarn created years ago.... There are significant differences, but the core personality was heavily influenced by her. So, I’m actually quite sentimental towards Ka’r’ika/Reader! 

Ka’r’ika/Reader is a very complex, multi-faceted character. Yes, there’s that core personality- the real her- the person she would have been had she grown up with her family on Sularia. But the life she led after the Empire’s raid… Let’s just say it heightened certain negative characteristics she already possessed but would have been left much more dormant otherwise. Her fight for survival brought out both the best and worst in her. We will soon be learning much, much more about that “worst” side of Ka’r’ika/Reader. 

But honestly, I LOVE that in a character! A character who can be selfish yet selfless, bad yet good. People are complicated- so shouldn’t characters be as well? Ka’r’ika/Reader has created so many personas, so many masks, to survive. But as we will soon learn, she never settled for just “survival.” She fought to thrive, even in the most terrible situations. While a kind and childlike nature rests at her core, she has an equally selfish, self-destructive, and ruthless nature she fights against.

My absolute favorite chapter so far is Chapter 7 (“Kids, Cover Your Ears”), because not only do we get to see protective, Soft Din™️, but MC actually lets her guard down enough to forget herself and let us see her. Like when she reluctantly keeps her mouth shut “for the children”. Or when Kuill mentions her past and we see her struggle internally before running into Din, and for a split second, not keep up the walls she’s built around herself. Peak characterization, I say!!!! *shakes fist at the sky*

Chapter 7 was SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE! The “fight” scene was written all in one sitting at 3AM during a hyper-fixation session. I felt barely human once I was finished with it lolllll! Ka’r’ika/Reader’s weakness is certainly children. Children bring out the best in her- and again, we’ll be learning more about that soon. ;) But, even though Ka’r’ika/Reader thinks she’s this infallible, unreadable person, she’s actually pretty bad at keeping the “persona”, the “walls” up when she’s caught off guard or called out.

I hope this is all making sense😂 When you asked what we remember your writing by, for me, it’s that—characters that are more layered than any onion or ogre in existence😂

JHAHSHSHS THAT’S THE BEST COMPLIMENT EVER- A SHREK QUOTE HECC YEAAAAAA lol (And honestly, characters are the reason I write! I have SUCH extensive stories that intertwine for everyone! I even have backstories written for characters like Irea! lolllll)

I admit I’ve flipped through your amazing fic countless times! (and reread the part where Din tells those people to let her go👀, when she wakes up and is finally honest with him, when he tells her to stay—gosh, my heart—😭).

You are AMAZING!!!! Please keep at it becauee you’ve got insane talent and I love your story!

Jshdsjdh I’M ALWAYS AMAZED WHEN PEOPLE RE-READ MY FIC AAAYYEEEEEEE Thank you so much! 

And let’s just say if you loved Din in that “let her go” scene, you’ll L O V E chapter 9!! And if you think the conversation where he tells her to “stay” is good, JSHSHDSHD WAIT UNTIL YOU READ THE ENDING SCENE OF CHAPTER 9 SODHDHHS I CAN’T WAAAAIITTTTT.

But seriously, thank you for this amazing and lovely comment. I’ve had a miserable week, and this REALLY brightened it, dear! 🥺❤️

-------

Send an ask telling me what the one thing is you remember me for as a writer. Is it a scene or a detail or a specific line? Is it something like style or characterization? Anything!

[riskeith]

awwww i’m here now darling so you better feel amazing <33333

ok miss i see the subtle flex you just pulled on me, just say your team is op and go... :pp jk!! no but yeah if you’re stronger than the goddamn bosses it usually goes easily. can’t say i’ve seen those days in a while tho rip

YOU ARE MY BABY!!!!!! you could do a doodle for me and i’ll literally cry abt it until i die. ooooh that seems good tho??? especially ningguang and beidou... the ladies are making a comeback 🥴 i agree with you actually!! i’d love for chongyun to come back (so you can get his c6 mostly) and for selfish reasons i want razor to come back to... bc boy scouts. i really want the boy scouts... hope it happens soon tho 🥺

speaking of boy scouts i just got him.... xingqiu.. i felt so bad bc i know how much you want him... :( but i didn’t get any xiangling so. i lost successfully shskdhsk. also I WISH they had cross-server co-op more than ever at this moment bc then we could do our chongyun + xingqiu dates... 🥺

cluna you’re literally so cool! you work through them? help couldn’t be me. i get super annoyed and if it’s not working i’ll just let it go and write something else instead shskdhdksk. for instance, i was working on this fic two months ago and i got really far into it when i hit a writers block. so, its just been collecting dusts for months now. a couple days ago i accidentally stumbled upon it and realize the potential it had so i might pick it up sksjdkd. i was literally prepared to just let it rot like so many other fics i write. so yeah idk sometimes i just give up because it’s easier even if it hurts me bc i spent so much time writing them sjshdkdj. yikes.

right?? and when you write a fic that takes place during the day you can get inspired by the atmosphere outside!! and yes!! i have to study outside i can’t get anything done at home. i used to be able to do that when i was younger but now it feels sooo impossible. especially with online school and stuff. either i go to a library, cafe or school. although most of these are closed now so i have to book a room somewhere to study. do you have a specific area at home where you write or can you just sit down anywhere and study?

for sure!! if i had the space i’d absolutely consider buying more books. right now i just have them scattered around everywhere (even some in my makeup drawer shdjdh). do you have a bookshelf? 🥺 that’s so pretty...! what are some of your other favorites btw? oh grade school is basically class 1 to 9... so from 6 years old to 15? girl no worries i know how difficult it is to understand all of that. when my friends used to explain their countries school systems before i’d just sit like owl eyes.

THE ALBEDO FANART!!!!! during his quest i took sooo many screenshots god he’s just perfect. he’s such a gentle and sweet boy ughhhhh.... he’s been gone for 2 days and i already miss him. and xiao and aether are just... yeah... i love how everyone ships aether with the boys yet i don’t think i’ve ever seen lumine shipping fanart? let’s just say gay rights and leave it at that.

BEFORE I CLICKED ON THE LINK I HAD A FEELING IT WOULD BE THAT POST.... literally us!!!! don’t make one in america no worries!! idk why my acc was set to that lmao. i’ll make one in asia tonight and just hustle for a few weeks until i reach co-op (i think it was ar 15?) plus i really want aether so i’m kind of not so stressed about it tbh? god i’m actually so exciiiiiteeeeed...... 😭 you gotta promise you’ll help me with domains and bosses tho you’re gonna be at a much higher rank than me while i’ll just be a little nooby girl. 😭

thank you so much for the encouragement!!! ♥️

today i didn’t keep you waiting too long, hehe. i missed you too much. but you’re porobably asleep now though :( oh well, can’t wait to hear from you my love <333

hiya!! i’m still up bc i miscalculated the length of a fic chdjcnskjd and thought to check if you’d sent anything before i went to sleep!! made me v excited to see there was not only 1 but 2 asks from you hehe (also it’s 2am rn so apologies for any incoherence!!)

AHAHAH fjskdjskdn genuinely tho,,, i’m really happy with my team rn LOL. and noooo you’ll get there someday!! before your world level increases and you’re stuck being many levels below the bosses again fhdjdjkd it’s a cycle 😩

NFKSKDLAKS i wish i could manage even a doodle… drawing hair is literally my worst nightmare (along with drawing anything else tbh) and all the genshin charas have such complex layered hair ugh it’s like they don’t want me to even try. yass beiguang (idk if that’s their ship name) actual queens 👑. razor!!!! what a good boye. i love his idle animation so much, pls he deserves everything 🥺🥺 and you deserve to get the boy scouts!!! can’t wait for that day to come <33

AHHH!!!! no don’t feel bad i’m so happy for you omg… live out all my xingqiu-having dreams for me please 😩😩😩😩 our xingyun dates!!!! some day it’ll be a reality <333

DHJAJSHS nooooo fuck writer’s block 😤😤😤 but i hope you’re able to finish that fic now!! (vaguely, if you prefer) what’s it about? also i have plenty of fics/ideas just rotting too, but that’s usually bc i get caught up in a new idea which i like more ? i think? lmao so yeah i definitely do give up on my fics too omg wait do you have those fics where you’re like omg this concept is god tier i’m so big brained and then you write out a scene and then it’s like … wtf do i do with this now? HAHAHAH like my attention span is slowly too short to write any long af fics, i can’t stay dedicated or interested enough for that but a lot of the ideas i have have the potential to be those 300k 40 chapter slow burn etc etc so there are so many docs in my drive that are just. works with like 2-3 written scenes and an entirely fleshed out plan but i know i’ll never actually end up writing it bc of aforementioned factors lolllll. that’s another reason why i think about just releasing all my wips some day! so people can see all the ideas im unable to execute jfjsndns. do you [like] writing super long fics like that? i admire your tenacity if you do ahah

agreeeeeed <3 and oh i see!! i always feel like people who don’t study at home are so studious fjskdksk it gives off that kinda vibe for me 🤪 and i have a study! so i usually do most of my work there. sometimes tho when i get bored and if i’m not watching a lecture i’ll sit on my couch or on the floor and change things up a bit lolol

djxkkakdks omg don’t let your makeup ruin the books.. or is the makeup more important djskskks. i do have a bookshelf!! it has like… 6 levels? and it’s all full 😳😳 other faves are defs the hunger games (catching fire >>>>>>>>) and you know the others like percy jackson, divergent, the mortal instruments. oh and the maze runner!!!!!!! the prequel (? sequel???) is probably one of the recent books i’ve actually read, even tho that was like back in 2017 lmao. i liked the john green stuff too.. just a lot of the like. basic ones LMAO. hbu??

6-15??? damn that’s an interesting range djsksk i guess the closest for us would be primary school which covers ages 6-12!

albedo is legit SO prettt and for what. his hair, his eyes, his soft spoken manner. ugh 😩😩😩 and taking a bunch of screenshots is a big mood!! ooo i’ve seen some lumine ones but yeah def not a lot ! (i know there’s discourse surrounding that lmao) but yes gay rights 😤 wait that reminds me i saw the cutest razor pic the other day and saved it i’ll show you when i’m in a more awake state to attach the image fjdjnd

!!!!!! ours minds… actually connected 🧠

okay that sounds good!!! and yeah wtf why does co-op unlock so like late lol let us play together NOW 😤 and good luck with starting again!! and have fun with aether hehe we’ll be able to have both ours meet 🤪🤪 AND YES I PROMISE!!!! i’ll carry you until we’re both the same AR and we can suffer fighting bosses together <3 you can just sit back and watch me do all the work 🤪 i’m super excited too!!! 🤩🤩🤩 and thank you for doing thisss even tho i know you said you don’t mind but still!! 💗💘💝💕💓💗💞

no problem!!! i believe in you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

eagerly (but patiently) anticipating your response~ xo!

[dylanobrusso]

All of This: Part 10 - The Finale

We’ve reached the end my friends! Thank you all for reading/liking/commenting/reblogging! It means the world to me!!! 

Thank you so much again to @obscurilicious cause I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you lolllll. 

This one is a lot of dialogue but it all needed to be said. ;) I hope you all enjoy. I had so much fun writing for Logan for the first time ever and now I want to keep at it!

Trigger Warnings: Language, mentions of substance abuse

As always, please feel free to let me know if you’d like to be added/removed from my taglist.

Taglist: @suchatinyinfinity @something-tofightfor @holamor @editboutique @ashkuuuu @geeksareunique @thoughtcrime-101 @sssilverssserpent @thebutterflyxx @obscurilicious @whovianayesha @madamrogers @tartelette-aux-fraises @mrspeacem1nusone @saltyshaggymeme @drinix @breanime @thesandbeneathmytoes @luckysstrikes @propertyofpoeandbucky @flowers-in-your-hayr

It’d been a month now since you’d seen Logan. You tried texting and calling him after he kicked you out of his house that night, but he screened your calls and left your messages on read. 

You were 100% deserving of that, though. Logan let you into his home and opened up to you...and you shat all over him with your “you’re not boyfriend material” spiel. You felt awful. The guilt kept you awake most nights and for a while, you avoided seeing Gabe or anyone who would be in his inner circle in effort to not see Logan. The very least you could do was give him the space he obviously wanted. Shit, you knew it wasn’t just space he wanted...he flat out didn’t want to see you again. 

Sure fucked that up, Y/N.

Work, fortunately, kept you busy, but you couldn’t help but to think about him. Gabe was all caught up with the events that happened at Westworld...and at Logan’s fancy beach house. He was worried to return to work the following day in fear that Logan would be a dick to him, but according to Gabe, work was running just fine. 

James was released from the hospital less than a week after his heart attack, Gabe told you. He nearly jumped right back into work, despite being told to take it easy. Gabe seemed to become close with Juliet who was now working directly at his building due to wanting to keep an eye on James’ health.

Life was back to normal and you often found yourself wondering if you’d ever see Logan again. Surely you’d run into him at some point since he’s Gabe’s boss. You attended nearly every event with Gabe in hopes to see him...but he was never there. You figured it was for the best.

It was the holiday season now and the streets were lined with Christmas lights and decor. Gabe asked if you’d help him and Juliet put together a Christmas party for the staff, wanting to show appreciation for all the hard work the employees put in over the year. You figured it was Gabe’s idea since James didn’t seem much of a sentimental person, and you were surprised to know Juliet was all for it.

She wasn’t always present at the events that Delos went to, mostly because she had other matters that she had to attend to apparently. This was going to be the first time you’d see her since being with Logan at the hospital. Part of you hoped this was Gabe’s way of setting you up and surprising you with having Logan be there. But your hopes were diminished when you walked in to the ballroom and saw no sight of him.

“Hi, Y/N!” Juliet smiled, waving you over. “It’s good to see you!”

You were surprised by how friendly she was, but you should’ve figured Logan wouldn’t have told her about you and what happened. “Hey, it’s good to see you again too. What are we working on?”

Juliet explained that she wanted to work out an auction for the event, have a “naughty Santa” and a full open bar with holiday themed drinks. “So this is where the backdrop is going to be here for the photographer. I just need to-Oh, excuse me,” she smiled at you when her phone rang. Once she answered, she walked away quickly and you found yourself walking around the large room. Most of the decorations were already put up, with some of the ballroom’s employees working late to set up icicle style chandeliers and large candy canes.

“Sorry about that,” Juliet sighed. “My brother can be so needy sometimes.” Your eyes widened and you had to close your mouth from your jaw dropping to the floor. She was talking to Logan?

“Oh, yeah, I guess he is...” You put on a fake laugh and followed her as she continued to show you what she would need help with. You cleared your throat, not meaning to interrupt. “H-how is he, by the way?”

Her brows furrowed, laughing a little at your question. “Don’t you know?”

“Know what?”

“I just figured you’d know how he is,” she shrugged. “He talks about you all the time.”

Oh my god.

-------------------------------

You faked an emergency, feeling bad for lying to Juliet, but ran out back to your car.

He talks about me? To his sister? About me? It’s been almost two months...

Gabe was just walking inside and you nearly ran into him and the two boxes he was carrying. “Woah, mija! Where you off to?”

“Gabe!” You shouted a little too loudly. “Logan talks about me? Why didn’t you ever say anything? Is it good talking? Is it bad talking? Does he talk shit about me? Ohh, my god, I bet he’s just been talking shit. But Juliet said-”

“Woah, slow down,” he sighed, placing the boxes down. “Yeah, he talks about you,” he nodded. “I know you like him...but you also told me your concerns with getting hurt again, so I didn’t want to tell you.”

“Well what does he say?!”

He laughed, shaking his head. “He mostly asks me how you’re doing. If you’re seeing anyone, what you’ve been up to...”

There was something he wasn’t telling you and you glared, trying to urge the words to come out. “Gabriel Luis Torres, what is it?!”

“Yo no se! He just likes you is all,” he shrugged.

“Is this the part in the movie where I go after him?” You breathed, nearly dancing on your toes. Gabe shook his head and you furrowed your brows. “Why not?”

“There’s something else I haven’t told you.” He grabbed your hand and sat you down next to him on a small side wall. “He doesn’t work for the company anymore.”

“What? Why?”

“His dad...he’s my boss, Dios ayúdame, but he’s a dick. I’m not too sure what happened, really. But after you guys came back and James was able to return to work, shit went down. I heard yelling from in their office and then Logan just walked out. Haven’t seen him since,” he shook his head, frowning at you. “What I do know is he has trouble with drugs. He’s apparently struggled with it for a while and according to Juliet, it’s gotten worse since he left. He showed up at James’ ‘Get Well’ party not long after, and he looked...rough.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You knew James was shitty and you knew Logan dabbled in drugs, but this was a lot to hear. Apparently James’ party was a few weeks ago and though Juliet would hear from Logan from time to time, they figured he’s just been out and about at parties since nobody had seen him.

“Y/N, you really hurt him. That day he came back to work, he treated me fine, but you could see it in his face.” Gabe frowned at you, shaking his head. “I know German hurt you, but you didn’t even give Logan a chance to prove you wrong.”

You hated how right Gabe always was. You were tired of being stubborn. Tired of trying to keep your heart locked away because of an ex’s mistakes. Logan did live a very different lifestyle then you, but that didn’t make you any better than him. Logan called you on your shit when you saw him at the charity event with German and Gabe. “You think we’re some stuck up, rich assholes, I bet.”

He was right. You did feel that way. You didn’t see how money could make someone have this superior, god complex toward other people. But in turn, you had that mentality toward them...and Logan.

And Logan had been nothing but nice to you! Sure, he would be a bit of an asshole with his “poor people” jokes, but you always knew he was only kidding. God, you’d never felt like this much of a bitch before. The fact that Logan would still talk about you just showed how much your words hurt him. 

You hugged Gabe quickly and made way for your car. They may think he’s been out partying, but you knew better.

-------------------------

You weren’t sure if Logan would even answer the door, but you drove to his house anyway. Thankfully, you’d stayed awake the entire trip to his house so you remembered the cross streets in Malibu in how to get there. A weather alert popped up on your phone showing that a storm was expecting to come today. 

It was almost laughable really. California was in it’s driest right now, and you could hardly remember the last time it rained. You slowed down as you approached the stop sign then gunned it down Logan’s street. Once you got out of the car you saw just how cloudy it was. It seemed like it was coming this way as you could see rain way off in the middle of the ocean.

Shaking your nerves, you marched up to Logan’s front door and knocked. No answer. Though you weren’t surprised. You peered through one of the many windows and saw no sign of movement. You did see a lot of clutter in his living room, though. With a sigh, you walked down the steps round the back of the house to poke your head up and see if he was on the balcony. No sign of him anywhere. His pool area was empty too.

Feeling discouraged, you wished you could somehow see inside his garage. At least then you’d know if he was hiding from you in his house or had actually left. Thunder echoed in the air just after a bright flash of lightning. It was only 3 in the afternoon but it looked like it was 8 at night. 

Getting back in your car, you tried to think of all the places he’d be. You noticed then that his driveway had a seemingly wet spot, most likely from the car’s A/C. You felt like Nancy Drew but put the clues together that he clearly wasn’t home. Or that he sat in his car for a bit before going in the garage... “Fuck!” You yelled. You were feeling frustrated, wanting to find him. If nobody had seen him since James’ party two weeks ago, who knows where he could be.

Juliet didn’t seem upset when she got off the phone with Logan earlier, though. So he must not be in any sort of trouble. The storm was approaching the shore now, and not wanting to get stuck, you decided to drive off.

Though it was a bit out of your way past your apartment, you figured it wouldn’t hurt to go to the coffee shop in LA. It was finally raining after all and you needed some time to unwind at this moment.

There wasn’t heavy traffic and a normally hour and a half drive only took you about 45 minutes. The parking out front of the shop was full, though, so you drove around to find a nearby lot you could park at. Not far from the shop was the same lot Logan had instructed you to park at the night he took you to dinner at the Japanese steakhouse. 

How wonderfully ironic.

The streets were dark from the clouds above and you took your time walking. Most of the tourists around were going inside gift shops, trying to hide out from the approaching storm. A couple of kids on their skateboard flew past you, doing tricks to impress a few girls who were watching. 

Once you reached the coffee shop, you saw quite a few people decide to wait for the storm to pass inside. It wasn’t a Starbucks, not even a Barney’s. It was large enough to hold some people but you’d never seen it this busy. 

“Hey, Y/N! Long time no see,” the owner smiled. One year in the fall it was exceptionally rainy and you made small talk with the staff, ever since then you became friendly with the owners. “Your usual?”

“Hi, Joey. If you can remember it, yes,” you chuckled, making your way through the long line that had formed. A couple of people griped about him taking your order ahead of everyone else but you figured that was just a perk of being a local. “It’s pretty busy today, huh?”

Joey laughed, steaming the milk for your latte. “Yeah, the rain always brings people in. That’s how we got you to be a loyal customer, isn’t it?” He joked as he scooted behind one of the other baristas to serve coffee to another guest. You hoped that your couch in the corner wasn’t occupied right now. You couldn’t even see down the small hallway because of all the people.

Lightning flashed and shadows formed along the walls as some of the kids inside screamed. The thunder was roaring and the rain soon began to pour down, creating a peaceful sound as it hit the roof. You sighed happily, anxious to curl up on the couch.

“Here you go,” Joey grinned passing you your cup. You reached in to your purse but Joey shook his head. “No, it’s on the house.” 

You smiled in thanks and tried to push past the people in line to head back into your corner. At first glance, you were bummed that you saw someone who was already sitting. But another look in front of you showed that it was Logan who was sitting there.

-----------------------------

People around seemed to be oblivious as to who was just sitting there in all his handsome glory. But as you got closer, you saw he didn’t look himself at all. His cheek bones were more predominant, his eyes were sunken with dark bags to match. His usually sleek black hair was disheveled, nearly sticking up on all ends. 

Yet there he sat on the couch. Your couch. Well, the coffee shop’s couch. A coffee in his hand, looking out the large window at the rain. You took a deep breath before coming any closer and cleared your throat. “This seat taken?”

He jumped, startled at someone talking to him - or maybe it was your voice? His ears seemed to go back as his eyes widened. He sat up straight as he scooted further into the sofa’s corner, making room for you to sit down. 

“Hey,” you whispered.

He stared at you like he couldn’t believe you were actually there. Now that he was actually looking at you, though, you figured he must be high. “H-hey.”

“What are you doing here?” You winced, unsure of what the hell to say. You sat your coffee on the table and leaned toward him, scared to make any sudden moves. He looked so fragile.

“Someone once told me they like to come here when it rains. It helps them unwind,” he smiled then, though it looked sad. You had no idea how bad this drug problem was and seeing it up close broke your heart.

“Logan,” you frowned, cautiously putting your hand on his. He tensed at first but then slowly relaxed under your touch. “Logan, I am so fucking unbelievably sorry. For what I said. For whatever happened with your dad. For whatever it is you’re dealing with. I shouldn’t have left. I should’ve stayed and explained myself further. Hell, I shouldn’t have said anything that I said.”

He didn’t seem to be listening, although you couldn’t tell even if he was. He was looking down at your hands on his, rubbing small circles in his palm with your thumb. He seemed to be taking a deep breath, and when he exhaled, it sounded shaky.

“Can we please talk?”

He looked up at you then with wide, wet eyes. A tear fell down his face when he tried to open his mouth to talk. He shook his head several times, muttering “sorry”’s and you hushed him before wrapping your arms around him. He sobbed into your chest and you rocked him like a small child, rubbing his back and whispering in his ear.

“No. No, you don’t apologize. It’s okay, Logan. You’re okay,” your own eyes were watering now as you held him. You had no idea what brought him to this point. You hoped that it had nothing to do with you, especially since you and Logan had barely known each other when you said those things. Surely you didn’t mean much to him-if at all?

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” he muttered into your shirt. He raised his head to look at you and you used your hands to wipe his tears. “I wanted to see you so many times. I knew you were going with Gabe to all of these Delos events, but my dad...” His voice trailed off, maybe he was unsure how much he wanted to tell you. 

“Logan, I only went to those events to see you,” you smiled sadly. “Gabe just told me today...he told me everything. Well, everything he knows. I would’ve made a bigger effort if I knew shit really had hit the fan that badly.”

He sighed, closing his eyes as he listened to you talk. “You wanted to see me?”

“I did. I do,” you corrected yourself. “I just drove here from your house in Malibu. I was trying to find you...I knocked several times but I didn’t see you inside. I figured you must’ve not been home. Then I saw that there was a storm coming.”

“Why would you try to look for me?” He seemed so confused, as if all of the things you said would somehow negate your feelings toward him. Jesus, Y/N, of course he wouldn’t think your feelings were genuine after that.

“Because,” you shrugged. You knew telling him you care about him would sound silly. Especially since how rough you were when you last saw him. “Logan, I don’t deserve to have you hear me out. Not after what I said to you. But I want to help you get home, make sure you’re okay. And then...once you’re sober, if you’re willing, I’d like to talk to you.”

He didn’t say anything but he did lean his head against your shoulder and squeezed your hand. 

----------------------------------

The rain cleared nearly as quickly as it came. Logan ended up falling asleep on your shoulder and you gently nudged him awake, seeing how he felt about walking. He apparently had his driver drop him off here so you held on to his hand as you two walked back to your car.

“You can lay the seat back if you want,” you whispered as he buckled in. He just nodded as he reclined the seat and looked out the window. His hand still stayed intertwined with yours as you drove back to Malibu. 

He didn’t say anything for the whole ride and you weren’t sure how much of that was due to him being high...or if he just didn’t want to talk to you. Once you parked, he pulled his seat back up and exited the car, walking towards the step of his house. You followed closely behind him and felt nervous he was going to change his mind and turn around, telling you to get lost.

Instead, he opened the door for you before slugging over to the couch. You’d seen some of the clutter from looking through the windows, but this just wasn’t like Logan at all. 

On the coffee table was a half full needle, a stained spoon and lighter. You cleared your throat, trying to find your voice at the sight. You’d encountered heavy drug users before but never saw their things lying around like this. Logan had his eyes shut with his head resting against the back of the sofa, and you quietly gathered the things from the table.

You disposed of them in a garbage bag, tied tightly, and took out the rest of the trash in the kitchen before throwing it in the bin outside. Once you felt like the living room was manageable, you tiptoed your way into his bedroom where there was even more clutter. You washed his sheets for him and picked up some more trash along the way. Once you made his bed, you trotted back downstairs where Logan seemed to still be sleeping.

You silently sat on the opposite end of the couch, but your movement seemed to wake him. “You didn’t have to clean anything,” he mumbled, opening one eye to look at you.

“I did. Besides it being the least I can do, I wanted to,” you sighed, watching him sit up.

“Maybe I should hire you as my maid,” he smiled and it was the first time you’d seen him smile - genuinely - since nearly two months ago.

“How are you feeling?” You bit your lip, leaning a bit closer. 

“Sober, sadly.” Logan shrugged as he looked over at you. “How are you feeling?”

“This isn’t about me. I want to make sure you’re okay. I-I don’t want to intrude. But did you want to talk about it?”

“Nah,” he said all too quickly. “Nothing to talk about. But if I remember correctly, you wanted to talk about something?” He furrowed his brows, leaning his head back again to rest.

You nodded slowly, turning yourself around to fully face him. “If you’re willing to listen. I don’t deserve you to, but-”

“Cut the shit,” he rolled his eyes, waiving at you to urge you to keep talking. “Just spit it out.”

You nodded before taking a deep breath. “My first apology back at Westworld wasn’t sincere. I fucked up and said hurtful things to you...here...in your own house. The one place you feel like you can unwind and just relax. I spilled all of that on you just after you trusted me with something personal like that, and shortly after we went to the hospital for your dad, Christ’s sakes! I fucked up, Logan. I spoke out of fear...fear from living in the past and reminiscing on all the bullshit German put me through. None of that excuses what I said, but the fact is that I took it out on you. And it was wrong of me to speak that way about you. Especially since I truly don’t even know you,” you were rambling now. 

The word vomit came up again and you were hoping you could explain yourself in a way that he could understand.

“Hell, you could probably be the best boyfriend a girl could have! I wouldn’t know, but what I do know is that I’ve been hurt. And with us getting closer that week, I freaked out. I didn’t want to put myself in a vulnerable situation again, and instead, I said some hurtful shit. I don’t deserve you to listen to me, but I’m sorry, Logan. I’m honestly so sorry. I know I can’t prove to you how sorry I am-hell, my last ‘I’m sorry’ apparently wasn’t even true. But I know I’m sorry. For real, this time. You’re not a bad person, Logan. I’m the stuck up, pompous asshole. Not you. And you didn’t deserve that..”

You forced yourself to stop talking then because you know you wouldn’t be able to shut up if you continued. You were tearing up now, nervous to see what Logan’s reaction would be. You have no idea if he even listened to what you said. Truthfully, if you put yourself in his shoes, you probably would’ve tuned out the other person, too.

He sniffed before clearing his throat, twiddling his thumbs on his lap. He said nothing still and you knew he was trying to find a nice way to tell you to “go fuck yourself”.

Sighing, you slowly got up from the couch to grab your bag and made your way toward the front door. You knew your place now. And you deserved it. You’d just put your bag in your passenger seat and opened the driver’s side door when Logan walked outside.

“Feels pretty shitty huh?” He donned a tight lipped smile while he walked closer. “That’s how I felt after you left last time. I kicked you out because I didn’t even have the words to say to all that,” he chuckled. “And now you’re leaving again after all that rambling, and I-” He sighed, shaking his head as he closed your car door. “I’m bad at speaking, too. I just say things without thinking sometimes. I know that’s why I come across as an asshole.”

You weren’t sure where this was going, but the air had left your lungs once more as he stood so close to you. 

“You know why I left Delos?” He asked which you shook your head in response. “I was tired of dealing with my dad’s shit. Hearing him say all the things he would say to me, about me. I realized it wasn’t worth it. I told him to ‘fuck off’ and left,” he shrugged. “That day, I wished I had been able to say the same to you, but I’m glad I didn’t. Because even though you said some shitty things, you still apologized. My dad? Heh, he hasn’t muttered an apology a day in his life. You were hurt, and you’re right, it doesn’t justify what you said. I don’t want to be this guy who fits into this rich bachelor stereotype. I don’t want to live up to what my dad thinks of me.”

You stayed silent, wanting him to show that you were listening. You didn’t want to open your mouth and let the word vomit spew all over again.

“Even though you said it, I know you didn’t mean it. You came to find me, to try to help me. I know it’s a cliche’, but maybe actions do speak louder than words.” Sighing, he placed his hand on the hood of your car and leaned. “I never said German’s real name because Cock Sucker always seemed to bring a smile to your face, and I knew that putting a name to the bad memories only delays healing.” 

You nodded, wondering if you should say something now or wait. He was seeming to think of what to say next before his face lit up. 

“I want a fresh slate. Let’s start over. We didn’t exactly have a great first few impressions of each other. You have a crazy ex who tried to fight me, and even though I knew that, I was selfish and just wanted you in my bed.” He smiled as he placed his hand out for you to shake and you laughed, releasing what little air you had left in your lungs. “Hi, I’m Logan. Some may call me a pompous asshole, but I’d like you to get to know me before you fit me into those stereotypes.”

You chuckled, shaking his hand. “Hi, I’m Y/N. I’m a bitch and have a really bad case of word vomit.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” he grinned, still shaking your hand. “Oh, hey, I see you’re about to leave, but I could really use some company around here sometimes. I don’t know if you know anyone?”

At this point, your cheeks hurt grinning so wide. “I may know someone,” you nodded.

“Perfect.”

--------------------------------

- One year and 6 months later -

“Gabe, we’re going to be late!!” You shouted as Gabe nearly tumbled down the stairs.

“Ay dios! I’m sorry! I have to make sure all the lights are off in this place. It’s so much easier when Eli is home,” Gabe pouted before shrugging on his jacket.

You rolled your eyes, placing your hands on his shoulders and pushing him out the front door. “Yeah, yeah, it’s so hard when your boyfriend leaves you to take care of the huge mansion you two share. Let’s go!”

Gabe drove you two to downtown L.A. where you and Juliet were hosting a small, surprise get together for Logan. It was his one year sober anniversary and you all wanted Logan to feel comfortable, loved and proud. Juliet rented out Logan’s favorite restaurant and invited the people he was closest to.

Since Juliet went behind James’ back and rehired Logan, he was helping the business succeed more than ever before. His sobriety helped him to focus on work and establishing relationships with clients rather than turning to drinking or using heroin. 

Juliet even stepped up to her dad and William all while standing up for Logan.  James seemed to think of William as the “son he never got to have” and had him work directly under him at an office far along the north end of the coast. Things were looking up for Logan since he checked himself into rehab and no longer had his lunatic father screaming in his ear. 

You and Logan remained on very good terms, to say the least. You helped him focus on healthier habits and you both even started working out and cooking together. You started going to therapy to work on some of your own issues (you wanted to also control your word vomit) and your uneasiness to opening up to people. 

From the outside looking in, it seemed like you two were now living perfect lives. But it wasn’t easy. There was always those days. The times when you knew to be there for Logan even when he didn’t think he needed somebody. The times when Logan had to tell you to “let it all out” even though you wanted to hold it all in. 

“Surprise!” The five of you shouted, grinning from ear to ear when Juliet walked in with Logan.

His jaw dropped, staring at you all surrounding the large table that had balloons and streamers behind it. “What the hell is this?” He laughed.

“For your one year, goofball!” Juliet chuckled, nudging him in the ribs.

“Y/N and I have only been dating for 6 months, though.”

Oh, yeah, and there was that.

Juliet rolled her eyes before his face softened and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. “Thanks, Jules.” 

He took long strides toward you next, smiling down at you before placing his hands on either side of your face. “And thank you,” he grinned before placing his lips on yours in a soft kiss that always left you wanting more. “All of this? I wouldn’t have ever dreamed of being able to achieve before.”

“We’re partners, right?” You smiled watching as he licked his bottom lip and nodded.

 “I love you, Clue.”

You grinned, wrapping your arms around his neck as you stood on your toes to  kiss him again. “I love you, Logan.”

[littlepurinsesu]

IDOLiSH7 REUNION LIVE VIEWING RECAP

I once said that I had no interest in idol anime. And then I got into IDOLiSH7. I then said that I still wouldn’t go to their concert. And then I got tickets for the REUNION live viewing. I then said that I don’t think I’ll scream very much, if at all. Yesterday, I slapped past me three times in the face as I defied all of these predictions.

I’m gonna skip out on some of the details of what happened since most people have already shared all that good stuff, so this post will be a lot more personal instead—what had the biggest impact on me, what made me go crazy, and my general impressions and feels. More like a long diary entry for future me, I guess ^^

As soon as the first song, “Natsu Shiyouze,” started, I literally started tearing up. I used to be such a big Kpop fan and loved SHINee so, so much. Their concerts were the only idol concerts I’d ever attended, and I thought I’d never ever watch an idol concert in my life again. But as soon as “Natsu Shiyouze” started, I felt this overwhelming rush of excitement that I could only ever experience when watching a live concert… I thought of SHINee and the way I felt when I saw them live, and then I thought of Jonghyun, and I started crying. But then they quickly turned to happy tears… I was just… so thankful that I found and got into IDOLiSH7, and so thankful that i7 gave me the chance to experience this feeling again… “Natsu Shiyouze” is such a fun and upbeat song, yet so many emotions, a mixture of happy and sad, were rushing through my mind already. It’s a complex and bittersweet feeling, but in that moment I was truly happy :’)

The sad sentimental stuff only lasted for one song, so the rest is just lots and lots of fangirling and screaming xD

I am in awe at the length the voice actors go to embody and present their characters. Just… it was a perfect balance of portraying their roles and also being themselves. This concert allowed me to appreciate the voice actors for who they are—more than simply “so-and-so character’s VA” ^^ I still remember the hype I felt when they all assembled themselves to replicate the REUNION poster image, with Onoken holding the huge flag… And also… seeing ZOOL standing up there with them was so askjdfh;askjdfhj;sad I’m so happy for them omg ;_____;

IDOLiSH7 (the group) is just so full of fun and full of life, and watching them together never fails to put a smile on my face. They’re so lively and energetic and they’re all absolute sweethearts. The most adorable and sweetest family ever <333 Every member had their own moments to shine (which I’ll get into in detail later), and it was literally impossible to not love every single one of these talented dorks ;~; <333

TRIGGER were just… legendary. They literally OWNED the stage. The amount of charisma and stage presence they have is just AMAZING. As a group, they were probably the strongest and most stable live singers, in my opinion, and DEFINITELY the most LETHAL in fanservice. Holy smokes were they ON FIRE. THEY’RE SEXY AND THEY KNOW IT, AND BOY DO THEY SELL IT. THEY OOZED SEX APPEAL. I’M ALREADY TRIGGER-BIASED BUT THEY DEFINITELY STOOD OUT THE MOST AND LEFT THE BIGGEST IMPRESSION ON ME. THEIR MERE PRESENCE IS ENOUGH TO HAVE ME SCREAMING.

Re:vale didn’t give as much fanservice as the other groups, but they were still KINGS. Their interactions and whenever they spoke in their characters’ voices oh my gosh as;dkjfha;skjfhas;j <33333 And the VAs were just… so “senior” and “experienced,” like actual SENPAIS. So much respect ;___;

And ZOOL… oh my gosh I’m just SO HAPPY FOR THEM. I cheered extra loud for them because I was so scared that some people wouldn’t, so I wanted to make sure that they got the love and support they deserved. But ak;dsjfha;skdj everyone was so supportive of them; the screams were SO LOUD and it made me so, so, so incredibly happy ;_____; They were badass and also had amazing stage charisma, almost like a Kpop idol group!!! And I’m glad they shuffled the lines so that Minami and Torao got to sing in their earlier songs, too ^^

Gonna list some of the highlights and parts that left the most lasting impressions and got me the most excited during the concert (not in chronological order):

-        “HOSHIKUZU MAGIC.” OMG. WHEN THE STARS APPEARED AND HOPE APPEARED WE ALL LITERALLY SCREECHED. I CAN’T BELIEVE WE GOT TO SEE HOPE AND CURSE MOVE. HOPE AND CURSE MOVED. THEY LOOK ETHEREAL AND JUST AS;DKJFHA;SKDJFH;SAJ I NEED THAT ANIMATED VIDEO IN HD SO I CAN WATCH AND SCREAM OVER IT REPEATEDLY. AND OMG THE VAS WEARING THE ETERNO OUTFITS A;SKJDFH;ASKJFH;AJSKD IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED?!?!? IS THIS REAL LIFE?!?!?!? AND ALL THE FABRICS REPRESENTING ALL THE STARS USED TO SEPARATE THE TWO WHILE THEY WERE PERFORMING. AND OMG THAT ENDING WHEN HOPE LEAPT INTO CURSE’S ARMS WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES? WE ALL LOST IT. I think this may have been my loudest screech in the entire concert. My friend was losing her sanity and I even had to pat her to calm her down omg xDDD I honestly was expecting them to announce a Hoshimeguri movie or something, since they animated a video already, but alas, one can dream xDDD (still not giving up HOPE hehe)

-        TRIGGER’S NEW SONG. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. I BARELY SURVIVED THE SNEAK PEEKS WE GOT OF THE MV. HOW AM I GONNA COPE WHEN THE FULL MV DROPS. THERE ARE WOLF HOWLS AND LOTS OF HIGH NOTES AND OMG IT LOOKS AND SOUNDS AMAZING AS;DKJFH;ASKJFHD;AJSK I NEED THIS SONG AND VIDEO IN MY LIFE. TRIGGER FANS (ESPECIALLY GAKU FANS)… *SCAR VOICE* BE PREPAAAAAAARED.

-        Massun pulling Onoken to the middle again because he’s the centre omg he sounded EXACTLY LIKE IORI and that’s TOTALLY SOMETHING IORI WOULD DO A;SDKJFHA;SKJFHAS;J

-        Massun angrily throwing the towel on the ground OMGGGGG HE’S SO ADORABLE IT’S LIKE HE’S THROWING A TANTRUM AS;DKJFHA;SKJF TOO CUUUUUTE DX

-        SUBARU PIGGY-BACKED ONOKEN TOWARDS THE END OMG MY TOURIKU BROSHIP FEELS ARE GOING THROUGH THE ROOF THEY’RE SO ADORABLE ASDKJFH;ASKJ I’M SO GLAD THE CAMERA CAUGHT THAT BLESSED MOMENT

-        There was a part when Re:vale were walking down the long part of the stage together and people around me were saying “play the wedding song play the wedding song” LOLLLLL like they aren’t married already ;P

-        Re:vale and TRIGGER made us do the “kanpai” thing twice each, and I ended up really, really needing to go to the toilet LOL but I just couldn’t leave? No I ain’t leaving during speaking segments and I was too scared to go even during the encore break for fear of missing out on anything as;dkjfhas;kj D:

-        Sogo’s VA twirling around in the frilly blue outfit with the big bow on the back omg SO CUTE. Tachibana also twirled around quite a few times during Re:vale’s performance xD Their outfits were all so beautiful. Especially the Eterno outfits omg the amount of detail and lace and sparkles and the gloves ahhhhh *___* But it must have been really hot and heavy, since they took them off pretty quickly after performing “Hoshikuzu Magic” only >_<

-        Speaking of outfits… TRIGGER’s outfits. So, so, SO COOL. Especially that one pink outfit of Tenn’s omg I can’t get enough of the criss-cross at the back and the long flowy skirt thing as;djkfha;sjkfh;asj it’s like an upgraded version of his Heavenly Visitor outfit and I LOVE IT *_____*

-        “ZONE OF OVERLAP” FULL VERSION. THAT IS ALL. *grabby hands*

-        I’d already been spoiled that Ryu would start off singing “Shine on the Sea” by himself, but it was still SO EMOTIONAL seeing the other two members rising up and joining him onstage ;___; Listening to this song and “In the meantime” seriously made me feel this sharp pang of guilt because moments ago I was screeching for ZOOL and then TRIGGER had to come out and make me remember all the terrible stuff that happened in Part 3 and I just a;sdjkfhas;kj Dx

-        “Daybreak Interlude” was AMAZING. THE WAY TRIGGER ENTERED FROM THE BACK AND WALKED THROUGH THE AUDIENCE SECTION. THEY COMPLETELY OWNED THAT STAGE AND IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST EPIC PERFORMANCES OF THE ENTIRE CONCERT.

-        I can’t remember which song it was, but there was a part where MEZZO were pretending to look really sad so they were kneeling together with their heads down and they looked like lost puppies omg awwwww a;sdkjfh;asjkhsa;j MUST ADOPT.

-        During the encore songs, everyone was on carts and grouped randomly or on one by himself. And they grouped Momo with the twins and it was the most adorable thing ever xD Soma and Onoken were being all sweet and cute and putting their arms around each other’s shoulders, and Momo’s just… awkwardly standing there third-wheeling xDDD

-        Nishiyama and Eguchi put their arms around each other’s shoulders OMGGGGGG I JUST WANT MINA AND NAGI TO BE FRIENDS ALREADY AS;DFKJHAS;DJK I hope this is a sign ;~;

-        There was one point where Saito Soma looked at Onoken with THE MOST SOFT AND LOVING EYES EVER OMG AS;DKJFH;ASJKHF;AJSD IT’S JUST LIKE THE WAY TENN WOULD LOOK AT RIKU ;_____; It reminds me of that one Tenn sprite from the game where he has his hand on his chin and his eyes kinda soften a;skdjhf;aksjh;asj SWEETEST TWIN MOMENT OF THE DAY DX

-        SAITO SOMA’S “DA ME~” OMGGGGGGG. JUST THINKING BACK ON IT STILL MAKES ME FRIGGIN BLUSH LIKE MAD. I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT HE ASKED US. ALL I REMEMBER IS THAT THE ANSWER WAS AN OBVIOUS YES/WANT, AND THEN HE A;KSDJFH;AJSK DOES THAT POSE AND MAKES THAT EXPRESSION AND USES THAT VOICE AND EFFING DARES TO GO “DA ME~” AND INSTANTLY AHHILIATE MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE A;SDKJFH;ASKJFH;ASJK

-        Re:vale said that they were a family ;___; I can’t remember it very clearly so this may not be exactly accurate, but something about how they were the parents, IDOLiSH7/MEZZO were the cute children (cue i7’s cute expressions), TRIGGER were the cool children (cue TRG’s sexy poses), and ZOOL were the bad/naughty kids (cue ZOOL doing gangster hand gestures LOLLLLL). And they even debated who was the dad and who was the mum ahhhhh what a happy family ;_____; ZOOL have been officially adopted by Re:vale. You are now part of the family. There’s no leaving. Ever >:D

Okay now I’m gonna go by characters/VAs and talk (more like yell) a bit about my overall impressions hehe prepare for lots more caps~

MASSUN. OMG. OKAY I REMEMBER WATCHING A FEW I7 VIDEOS WITH THE SEIYUU AND SAYING “HEY IORI’S VA IS ACTUALLY PRETTY CUTE.” TODAY? I EFFING FELL FOR HIM. HARD. OMG HE’S SO GORGEOUS?! HE LITERALLY FEELS LIKE A PRINCE A;SKDJFH;AKSJHAS He’s so in-character during the whole live that I always wonder if he’s actually serious and sensible all the time, but no my friend says he’s just trying to channel Iori xD And omg all the Ioriku interactions ;___; THIS MAN IS BOTH BEAUTIFUL AND CUTE AND TALENTED. WHAT A THREAT. I LOVE HIM. OFFICIAL NEW SEIYUU CRUSH.

Yamato was my least-favourite character initially because I don’t like green and I don’t like glasses (SORRY ONII-SAN) xDDD I’ve grown to love him as I progressed with the story (and fell deeper into i7 hell), but today? ONII-SAN SLAYED. OMG SHIRAI SOUNDS EFFORTLESSLY LIKE YAMATO AND ALL THE FINGER POSES AND EXPRESSIONS AND THE GOOD NIGHT AWESOME AS;KDJFH;ASKJFH;SAJ AND EVERY TIME HE REFERS TO HIMSELF AS “ONII-SAN” I AS;DJKFH;AKJSFH;AJ I YELL

Wingu is another one that seems to sound effortlessly like his character omg HE’S SO CUTE?!?!? AND SO SINCERE?!?!?!? Like he’s just… always smiling and energetic and happy, like he’s truly enjoying himself, and it’s like you can just SEE Mitsuki’s soul in him omg. And he also has this strangely comforting vibe where you feel so safe and relaxed in his presence? Yet hyped up at the same time? I can’t describe it but omg perfect Mikki a;skdjfh;askjdfh;asdjkhfjas

KENN OMG. I didn’t really know him that well or care much for him beforehand; I just thought he did a really good job as Tamaki and really adored his sexy singing voice. But today? DUDE HE’S THE CUTEST THING EVER OMG. HE’S LITERALLY LIKE… A REAL-LIFE TAMAKI WITH HIS CHILDISH INNOCENCE AND ENERGY. LIKE AN EXCITED CHILD RUNNING ALL OVER THE PLACE. HE WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN AND I JUST. A;SKDJFH;ASKJFHD;J TOO PRECIOUS ;_____; And he was so good at finding cameras and giving bright smiles a;sdjkfha;skj he was one of the most lively and energetic and really kept the mood going <3 He’s also a REALLY good live singer. Among the top 3, in my opinion. I ended up loving and appreciating him a lot more than expected <33333

Awwwww Abeshi as So-chan ahhhhh he’s such a sweetheart? MEZZO were practically on fire with their fan service and there were just so many adorable and sweet moments between them. You can just see how much fun he’s having, especially with KENN, and he was just such a cutie throughout?!?!? He had a bit of that shy and reserved So-chan vibe whenever he spoke but you could really see him give his all whenever he performed <333

Nagi ;_____; I feel like every time Eguchi did anything, everyone screamed extra loudly, probably because of all the Part 4 feels ;_____; He didn’t speak in Nagi’s voice or accent very much, but whenever he did, he just… stole all the attention xDDD SO ADORABLE OMG. AND HE’S SO FRIGGIN TALL ASD;KJFA;SHFKJDASHF;J TOWERING OVER THEM ALL XDDD AND I CAN’T BELIEVE HE MADE US ASK HIM “ARE YOU HAPPY” OMGGGGG AS;KDJFHA;SJKFH;SADJ WHY DX

Onoken was the most ADORABLE THING EVER. He was seriously JUST LIKE RIKU throughout the entire concert. He was an actual ball of sunshine, super upbeat, energetic, cute, and just so good at leading everyone a;skdjfh;askjfh;asjk I don’t know if he’s just being in-character for Riku or if he’s always like this but omg I LOVED HIM. HE WAS THE LIFE OF THE CONCERT, SERIOUSLY. His singing voice is seriously like an angel, too!!!!!!!!! One of the best live singers of the entire cast. He was just the most precious and adorable thing ever and literally LIT UP the arena with his voice and smile and presence and just a;sdjfkhas;kjfhsa;j PERFECT.

WACCHAN AHHHHHHH I REALLY LIKE THIS GUY? I don’t know that much about him but I’ve liked him for a while (ever since I got to know him through Yuri on Ice) :O I dunno, like he just seems like SUCH a sincere and nice man? And omg I love it when he puts on Gaku’s super deep and sexy voice a;skjdfhs;aj *___* He’s also a really stable live singer and a really good performer <3 And during the end when he looked like he was gonna tear up omg as;kdjfha;skjfha;sj DON’T CRY AHHHHH But omg when he said “sobaya ja nee” ASJKDFH;ASJKFH WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE?!?!?

SKIPPING TENN/SAITO SOMA AND LEAVING HIM FOR LAST (FOR OBVIOUS REASONS)

SATOTAKU WAS… JUST LIKE RYU OMG. He had that super pure and bright kind of joy on his face throughout the entire thing. You could just see and feel how happy he was to be there ;A; Another actual ray of sunshine and just… he has the brightest and happiest smile and I felt so happy seeing him so happy and just a;ksdjfh;askjdhf;aj WHY ARE THEY ALL SO PURE AND GOOD HUH?!?!? HE REALLY GAVE HIS ALL FOR EVERY LINE OF EVERY SONG, AND THE SINCERITY IN EVERY ONE OF HIS ACTIONS AND WORDS IS JUST INCREDIBLE

Momo’s VA didn’t really give as much fanservice, but whenever he spoke in Momo’s voice… CUTENESS OVERLOAD!!! It’s so difficult to imagine such a cute and childish voice coming out of his VA, but he just… AS;KJDFHA;SKJ HE DID THE “HAPPY~” THING TWICE (ONCE AT THE START AND ONCE AT THE END) WHILE TWIRLING AROUND AND AHHHH SO CUTEEEE OMG ;___; AND YESSSSS HE SAID “YUKI IKEMEN~!” WHEN YUKI’S VA ASKED HIM TO AS;DKJFH;ASJKFHA;SJK

Tachibana was such a blessing omg you could also see how happy he was to be there and how dedicated he was to the concert ;_____; He gave SO much fanservice, and every time he spoke in Yuki’s voice we all just collectively lost it. He’s SO GOOD at interacting with the audience and making us happy, and he really was like a big senpai who was not only taking care of everyone, but like… also returning to his own childish roots, just letting go and having the time of his life ;___; In some ways he felt more like Momo while Momo’s VA felt more like Yuki LOL xDDD

HIROSE YUYA OMG. DUDE THIS GUY HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE A KPOP IDOL OR SOMETHING. HIS SINGING IS AMAZING AND HIS DANCING AND STAGE CHARISMA OMG. He kind of commands attention as soon as he opens his mouth a;skdjfhs;aj AND OMG HE SPOKE IN HARU’S VOICE SO MUCH. AND SO EFFORTLESSLY. HE JUST PULLS OFF HIS CHARACTER SO WELL AND EVERY TIME HE EFFORTLESSLY SWITCHES TO HARU’S VOICE I JUST A;SDJFHA;SKDJFH;ASJ WHY IS HE SO GOOD?!?!?!? HE’S SO YOUNG AND HE’S ALREADY THIS GOOD AT WHAT HE DOES. SERIOUSLY. MAD RESPECT.

Subaru just… It warms my heart seeing him looking so genuinely happy from the bottom of his heart to be there at the live ;_____; You can just hear his joy and pride for his members whenever he speaks, and he’s REALLY good at getting the crowd hyped. He’s like ZOOL’s personal cheerleader when he’s not singing or something?!? And when he got the whole audience to say/chant ZOOL’s name… I may just be reading too much into this and filling in the gaps myself, but it’s almost like he’s just… taking in all the cheers and living in the moment where he can feel that everyone really does accept, appreciate, and support ZOOL. That all this is real—they really are standing there as part of the main cast and everyone really does love them. It just looks like it means so much to him, and I feel so warm and fuzzy seeing him looking so proud and happy asd;lfha;skjfs I’M PROUD OF YOU TOO ;_____;

NISHIYAMA. EXCUSE ME MR. MINAMI WHO ALLOWED YOU. WHO ENABLED YOU. OMG. So I was warned beforehand that a lot of people were swept away by Haruka and Minami’s VAs and prepared myself. But boy oh boy, if I thought I could prepare myself and become immune to the greatness that is Nishiyama, I was DEAD WRONG. AN ABSOLUTELY PERFECT EMBODIMENT OF EVERYTHING I LOVE ABOUT MINAMI. THE POSES, THE EXPRESSIONS, THE MOVEMENTS, THE GESTURES, AND THE FRIGGIN VOICE. I’M A SUCKER FOR MINAMI’S SPEAKING VOICE, AND HIS VA JUST KEEPS DOING IT AND MAKING ME FREAKING FEEL THINGS. RUDE!!!!! HE’S AN ABOSLUTE TEASEEEEEE AND JUST… I DUNNO IF IT WAS THE EYELINER OR THE HAIR OR WHATEVER, BUT I FELL FOR HIM HARD. ANOTHER NEW SEIYUU CRUSH RIGHT THERE. AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE ONLY INCREASED MY LOVE FOR MINAMI LMAOOOO SORRY TENN

Torao’s VA seriously took me by surprise because I really was not expecting him to look like that!!! I was expecting a big gruff man or something, but he’s so… smol and kinda cute? <3 But then he lowers his voice and IT’S STILL THE DEEP AND SEXY TORA VOICE OMG?!? He didn’t seem to give that much fanservice either, but he was clearly having a blast and getting SUPER HYPED UP during all of ZOOL’s performances, which was a joy to watch ^^

(Okay, if you don’t want to read through a huge slab of caps and witness a fangirl completely lose her sanity, skip the next “paragraph” xDDD)

S A I T O S O M A. SAITO SOMA SAITO SOMA SAITO SOMA OMGGGGGGGGGGGG WTFFFFFFF A;SDKJHF;AKSJDHF;AKJSDHF;JKASHD;FKHASD;KFJHAS;JKDSA!!! I?!?!?!?!? CANNOT EVEN CONTROL MY FEELINGS OMG AS;DKJFHA;SDKJFH;ASKJDFHD;ASJ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OKAY SO YEAH TENN’S MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER, BUT SAITO SOMA HAS ALSO SOMEHOW BECOME MY FAVOURITE SEIYUU OVER THE PAST FEW MONTHS, SO PUT THE TWO TOGETHER AND YOU ALREADY GOT YOURSELF A KILLER. BUT LIKE?!?!?!? HOW DOES THIS MAN. LIVE HIS LIFE. KNOWING THE DEADLY EFFECT HE HAS ON EVERYONE?!??!?! HOW DOES HE SHAMELESSLY DO WHAT HE DOES AND SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT?!?!? OKAY I KNEW THAT SAITO SOMA WAS A TEASE AND REALLY GOOD AT FLIRTING WITH THE CAMERA. I WAS PREPARED FOR LOTS OF WINKING AND FANSERVICE. BUT NOTHING. PREPARED ME. FOR THAAAAAAAAAAAT. OMG WTF WAS ALL THAT, MAN?!?!?!? I LOST COUNT HOW MANY TIMES HE MADE US LOSE OUR SH*T TONIGHT LIKE HOLY CHEESE CAN YOU NOT?!?!? BUT ALSO AS;DKJFHA;DSJK NO DON’T STOP LIKE OMG HE LITERALLY KNEW WHERE EVERY SINGLE CAMERA WAS AND NEVER FAILED TO LOOK RIGHT INTO IT WITH THAT LOOK. WINKING, FINGER GUNS, TOUCHING HIS FACE, TEASING EXPRESSIONS, COME HITHER EYES… EVERYTHING. ANY KIND OF FANSERVICE THAT COULD MAKE A GIRL LOSE HER MIND? SAITO SOMA KNOWS AND DELIVERS. AND EVERY TIME HE SPOKE IN TENN’S VOICE I JUST A;SDKJFH;ASJKHF;ASKJHF;AKJSDHFAJS OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WANTING US TO FEEL “DOKI DOKI” TONIGHT? HELL YEAH DUDE YOU MADE ME FEEL WAY MORE THAN JUST DOKI DOKI. I FELL FOR HIM FOR HIS VOICE AND JUST A;SKDJFHS;AKJFHASD;JKF I GOT TO HEAR SO MUCH OF THAT SEXY VOICE LIVE AND IN-CHARACTER OF TENN BUT HE’S ALSO SO ILLEGALLY CUTE AND I JUST AS;DKJFHA;SKJFHASJ CANNOT HANDLE THIS OMG. AND HE ALWAYS HAS THAT… “I’M CUTE AND I KNOW IT” CONFIDENCE GOING ON AS;DKJFHA;SKJFHA;SJDKFH;ASKJD HE IS THE WORLD’S FRIGGIN BIGGEST FLIRT AND TEASE I HAVE EVER SEEN AND I WAS LOVING EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF IT. I HAD ALREADY KINDA FALLEN FOR HIM BEFORE, BUT TONIGHT? SEALED THE DEAL. I FELL H A R D. I WENT FROM A CASUAL SAITO SOMA FAN TO ACTUAL SAITO SOMA T R A S H. HE FED US SO WELL. AT THE TIME OF WRITING THIS, I STILL CANNOT LOOK AT ANY PICTURE OF HIM WITHOUT LOSING MY SH*T. JUST THINKING OF HIS STUPIDLY ATTRACTIVE FACE AND STUPIDLY SEXY FANSERVICE STILL MAKES ME GO CRAY. YOU FRIGGIN AS;DKJFHADS;FKJHSA; HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME. AND WHEN HE CRIED? HOLY SH*T OMG PRECIOUS BBY DON’T CRY AS;DJKFHA;SKJFHS;AJKFH;SAJ AND TRIGGER HUGGING HIM TO HIDE HIS CRYING FACE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DDDDDDDDXXXXXXX HIS FINAL SPEECH DURING THE ENDING WAS SO SINCERE AND SO HEARTFELT AND HE KINDA ALMOST TEARED UP A BIT AGAIN AND I JUST… IS IT POSSIBLE TO FEEL BOTH EMOTIONAL AND THIRSTY FOR SOMEONE ALL IN ONE NIGHT? YEAH, IF IT’S TENN/SAITO SOMA, IT SURE IS. Okay stopping now before this gets outta hand lmaooooo

As anyone (including future me reading back on this) can see, the biggest highlight of the live for me was obviously Saito Soma lol. I basically came home screaming incoherently about him and announcing that I was going to marry this man LOL (jks jks). I also secured Massun as my other infatuation, and gained two more new seiyuu crushes in Nishiyama and Hirose lmaooooo xDDD These four had the biggest impact on me thirst-wise, and Onoken, Soma, and KENN impressed me the most performance-wise.

I’ll DEFINITELY be going again next year (if possible). And this time I’m gonna want to go to BOTH days. And this time I’ll have one of those cool penlights D:< I still can’t believe I actually ended up at a Nanalive live viewing, considering my mindset before I caved and watched the anime and eventually downloaded the game late last year. I guess the phrase “never say never” really is true xD

I wasn’t even there at MetLife Dome, but it’s so easy to forget that you’re only staring at a screen when the entire concert was just SO AMAZING AND SO IMMERSIVE. The VAs never failed to acknowledge and address the people at the live viewing, so the experience is almost just as good as if I had gone to the live in person. People who got to go to the live, you’re super lucky and I hope you had the time of your lives! And for anyone who didn’t and is feeling disappointed, don’t lose hope! There’s always next year, and the year after, and many more to come!!! And there are live and delayed viewings! And in the end, there’s always the DVD/BluRay, so no one has to miss out <3 It’s definitely an experience I would recommend to all i7 fans ;___;

Thank you so much to all the performers and staff for giving so many of us two truly magical days filled with good music, happy tears, and plenty of love <333 We really are all under one sky ^^ <3

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x03

This week’s episode of Younger, ‘The Unusual Suspect’, was a big one. No scenes felt wasted, each one moving the story along and it all felt very purposeful. Despite some capital H hotness and really light and funny moments being scattered throughout, mostly thanks to fave (and only) NYC agent Redmond and the resurrection of some truly classic Diana Trout, there was definitely the sense of tension on the rise. It’s been simmering since the end of this season’s first episode and I feel like this week we have hit an apex.

We open with brunch at Maggie’s and what one can only assume is a time jump (either that or Clare has recovered remarkably well from birthing a baby the size of a four month old) and right away an overarching theme for this episode is established, as Lauren enters raving about the latest hit podcast, Exonerated. I’m gonna come straight out and say that I am so into this premise. The excitement around the table sounded like the break room in my office most days, they definitely nailed the trend of true crime fixation. It immediately allowed for Maggie’s quip about white women loving murder, a delightful array of OTT facial expressions from Liza and Kelsey dropping in that Millennial will be meeting with Audrey Colbert, subject of the podcast, to nab her book before anyone else does. Of course the other big news is that Josh and Clare appear to be happily family-ing it up (though mommy wipes, daddy dipes = vom in my mouth a little bit) and Maggie is dealing with unresolved BoUBT (Back of Uber Birth Trauma). Lauren’s vow to help get Maggie back on the ‘h for hunt’ once again epitomises why I love her character so and I want to record her sympathetic ‘oh Divaaa’ as my ringtone. I just love that Maggie, of all characters, is the one who seems like she should be the most pragmatic when it comes to something like birth yet her coping level is zero here.

You know who else wasn’t coping? Me and my Liza and Charles loving heart as Liza suddenly up and left the brunch because she ‘was late for a thing’, cue the scene that was released as a sneak peek last week that I have definitely only watched a normal number of times *cough*. The set up for The Rubin Museum from the opening conversation was fab and the fact that Charles and Liza are using the podcast to frame up a role play situation is just too much. Obviously I had seen the scene prior to the ep and while it is certainly *insert flames here*, I can’t help but wonder what it would’ve been like not to have expected it (actual combustion probable). I mean regardless, I will never think about a trip to the museum in the same way again. The voice-over narrating what we were seeing was such a great device that is really different to anything the show has done before, it built the anticipation of what was playing out and it felt like a scene from a movie. The moment when Charles turned and came face to face with Liza was a great reminder of how electric the chemistry between these two can be (actual lightening bolts were sighted) and quite frankly, seeing these characters being adventurous and lustful in their relationship is a yes on all fronts. I think the fact it all took place in a place of intellect and culture was extra fitting, it somehow kept the whole thing true to the characters and I am here for the #nerdlove. 

The office drama was amped this whole ep and that of course was largely due to the ever growing reign of our season 6 villain, Quinn. With the time jump since last episode confirmed by the fact that Quinn’s book is both published and sitting on the best seller list, Kelsey and Diana’s first encounter with Quinn as she uses the WiFi for a conference call included a) Diana saying goodbye in Mandarin, which was yet another lovely tidbit to add to this character while also setting up the classic Diana we got throughout this ep and; b) some of the best fashion and hairstyles all in one scene (and episode as a whole) ever. I mean the fashion on this show is always next level but this episode in particular took it up a notch: Diana’s high-neck printed electric blue top and Kelsey’s hair/makeup/outfit in the conference room were so stunning I was actually distracted by them. 

Kelsey’s office refurb was also noted, loved Liza’s ‘set it (Claw) on fire’ comment and of course, Diana telling Kelsey that now she is publisher, maybe she should stop speaking like a trucker was D. Trout golden line no.1 for this episode. Even better was seeing Kelsey, Diana and Liza settling into this new way of working. I adore the dynamic between these three and the way we’re seeing Diana adjust to her former assistant now being a peer without a fuss is why this show is so wonderful. It would have been easy to have Diana trying to assert herself and maintain some sort of authority, but to see her just want to get on with the work and do the best job she can gives a great credibility to the notion that this character is the best in the industry. I could pretty much write out every Diana Trout line from ‘The Unusual Suspect’ and leave this entire ramble at that (’why is everybody in this country obsessed with true crime? Actual people have died and they’re selling branded beanies on Etsy’ LOLLLLL) but I would then need to do that for Redmond because the fave one and only agent in NYC was back this week and as always, he was in fine form. 

The pitch of Audrey Colbert’s book is up there with the funniest scenes of this series, from the creepy af Audrey (A+ casting of Willa Fitzgerald) to Liza and Kelsey trying to play it cool while being hella freaked out to Redmond’s attempt to present a compelling pitch being railroaded by Audrey’s ‘crippling lack of media training’, it was Younger writing and delivery at its finest from start to finish. Seeing Redmond so unnerved by Audrey was unnerving in itself and really, I am so happy with the amount of Michael Urie in this episode. Our next encounter was of course when Kelsey and Liza interrupt his infrared sauna treatment (again, so many hilarious lines, I really feel that a transcript of the entire episode is about the only way to do it justice but may be problematic to pass off as a recap/review…or would it?) and discover that Audrey’s book is being shopped around thanks to the dagger next to Claw on the bestseller list, which = bulk sales = dodgy business = Chinese bots tweeting = Quinn is the worst (math doesn’t lie) = Audrey doesn’t want to be associated with anything suspicious on account of the fact she’s been accused of murdering two ppl (fair). I do want to back this truck up a little though to the way Kelsey and Liza discovered their next big hit was being pitched to half the major publishing houses around town.

Diana Trout hobbling into the office on crutches before dropping the bomb that her injury was the result of being so frazzled upon hearing the news re: Audrey going elsewhere, that she got caught up in her reformer (just go and re-watch this scene, you will not be sorry) is everything I never knew I wanted to see. The reference to Jackie Dunn, who you may remember has been a longstanding nemesis of sorts of Diana’s, was such an utter delight as a long time fan and once again, seeing Kelsey, Liza and Diana all equally vexed by the news was so great and continued to solidify them as a team. I promise no more direct quotes* (*this is a very loose promise), but ‘postpone the power-trip Kelsey, I am handicapped’ in response to Kelsey’s stunned expression upon Diana’s request for espresso, is so outrageously funny and makes this whole scene an absolute stand out on account of its hilarity. 

I missed Lauren and Diana interacting this week, however I appreciated seeing Lauren be the wonderful friend she is to Maggie and Josh. Taking Maggie to the support group obviously allowed us to meet Beth, who Maggie engaged for some one on one tutoring (looking forward to seeing where that goes this season) after returning to the store to apologise for running out during the group session. While Maggie was lining up her ongoing therapy, Lauren and Josh shared a sweet and heartfelt moment that highlights why their friendship is such a lovely one on this show. Obviously Josh had told Lauren that he and Clare had a moment that made him think, ‘maybe we should make this relationship work’ and Lauren is following up to see where his head and heart are at. 

I absolutely loved said scene between Clare and Josh, when he had finally settled the baby, asks Clare if she wants to go to her bed and then joins her on the floor when she says she sleeps where she can now. There was such a sense of unity and care and it made my heart swell. So in his discussion with Lauren we also find out the baby is named Gemma (last name TBC, for both father and daughter) and when pressed about what he actually wants, Josh reveals that he doesn’t think he and Clare are right for each other. I have said it before, but for all the wacky that Lauren can be, she is the most incredible friend who only wants the best for those around her in such a relentless and genuine way and this scene really highlighted that once again (the line about her dad having such a little bottom though brought us straight back to Lauren light in the best possible way).

The divorce proposal was such a great scene and while I was hoping that perhaps Clare and Josh could work things out, I am thrilled to see that the writers put both these characters on the same page right from the get go. I love that this show constantly bucks stereotypes and expectations of how certain characters and relationships will play out, so to see two adults who have an agreed desire to put their child first but know they need to do so outside a romantic relationship is something really unique on television. I have always enjoyed Josh and Clare’s dynamic and I hope we get to see a real, loving co-parenting arrangement play out.

Kelsey’s interaction with Zane when she is buying a bottle of Dom Perignon to celebrate scoring Audrey’s book (eek!) is my favourite interaction of theirs this season. Their banter was really effortless, Zane’s, ‘you’re not listening’, as he pulled out the cash to pay for the one remaining bottle smooth and a little bit over confident, but really played up that he has something in the works that is legit. I especially love that we later discover both are buying champagne to celebrate the same win. I feel like we also need to stop and appreciate that they were about to drop $400 between them on two bottles of bubbles like it was no big deal. What is this life? How do I get it?

Though admittedly Kelsey deserves a nice glass of something this ep considering all that she is dealing with. I have made no secret that I have struggled with Kelsey’s character these past couple of seasons and no one is more surprised than me at how much I am getting on board with her this season. Kelsey calling out Quinn point blank that she faked her best seller was so good to watch and seeing Liza backing her up and standing her own ground made this extra satisfying. Gah, I just LOVE how Laura Benanti plays Quinn and her stating that ‘the money is real, what else do you need?’ is so cold and matter-of-fact. What I love most about this whole confrontation is that it immediately made me think back to the first time we met Quinn - her whole presentation was about the fact that no one wants your success more than you do and that women helping women is actually holding women back. That right there should’ve been the red flag that her “helping” Liza and Kelsey was not legit. 

And so her true motivation for investing in Empirical becomes evident. It had nothing to do with saving an ailing publishing house, it was to ensure her book would be published, she could have some control over how big it would become and be seen to have the support of a reputable publishing house, all in order to gain name recognition so she could successfully run for Senate. In her mind, Kelsey and Liza benefit from the whole thing financially so it’s a win win but she also holds the power so feels like she has the upper hand. Which is why the scene at The Cut (which is so fab, the looks Quinn shoots Kelsey are searing), when audience members question the dagger next to her book, is so damn satisfying. Kelsey’s move to announce Quinn’s run for Senate is so bold, I am very on board and boy oh boy Kels, I think you’ve got yourself quite the adversary. I was very much Liza watching this all unfold, shocked, impressed and a little bit scared for and of Kelsey and what this all means.

Now Liza was late to the event because she was living out the next chapter of the podcast at the Brownstone which we need to discuss, however I first owe some of you an apology. At the end of last week’s ramble I suggested you may need a fire blanket at the ready after seeing the museum scene sneak peek to you know, contain the flames. I fear some of you may have deployed it prematurely (this is not a euphemism though I am very aware it sounds like one) in response to how damn hot that scene was, but I was not to know that we were going to get this later scene, in which Liza just wanders into the townhouse BECAUSE SHE HAS A FREAKING KEY (suspected ep 2, confirmed ep 3, appreciated always) and decides to have a good old snoop at her bf’s mail. Similar to the museum scene, this set up felt more like a movie than a typical Younger episode. There was an ominous weight to it; the music, the lighting, the Charles padding silently up behind her (barefoot again?) and the tension was palpable. 

Liza asks Charles about what’s going on, he provides a vague answer about moving some things around before asking her if she’s listened to chapter 7 of Exonerated, which conveniently mirrors almost exactly what just occurred, with Audrey’s ex finding her going through his things. Ok, so this is where it gets tricky for me. This entire exchange, from the way these two fall into that speaking in third person and wrapping a narrative around themselves, the way Charles wraps his arms around her, the way they look at each other, I mean, this whole thing makes my heart spontaneously combust because it is sexy and flirty, dripping with desire and just really really hot *reaches for backup fire blanket*. But then Liza is clearly distracted by that letter and Charles’ deflection and part of me is wondering why on Earth she isn’t pressing him harder for an answer or following up, I mean, we saw how open they were with one another last season, but then the other part of me looks at Liza and thinks, you are a person who has eyes and that whole situation is right there in front of you so I get it, go with it and worry about it later.

I am aware of how long this ramble already is, but I am going to do something a little different here and digress slightly away from the episode itself and put out some conjecture on my part. It could well be completely over-analysing (lol, I’m neck deep into a freaking novella about a 25 min episode of TV, I think that’s a given) but I know that there is concern about Charles behaving secretively and I have seen some people expressing disappointment in this season so far. 

For what it’s worth, my take on it is that it might seem as though some of the characters are behaving a little out of character but I feel that actually, the characters are behaving in ways we haven’t seen before because they’re in situations we haven’t seen them in before. As invested viewers we feel like we know these characters as whole people in every aspect of their lives when in fact, we’ve not seen Liza at the top of her game in her career or Josh as a parent or Charles in a romantic relationship or away from the office. So while the way they behave might not be the way we imagined it, to me it isn’t so much out of character as seeing a new dimension of the character. Also, the addition of flaws does not necessarily equate to destroying a character, it builds them out and makes them more real, if anything. 

In relation to Charles and Liza’s relationship and the ‘Charles is being shady’ concern, IMO the key purpose of that is to create tension and you can FEEL it building. As crazy as it may sound, I think the Liza/Charles dynamic thrives in the build and resolution of tension and that’s why their moments in this episode felt so electric and hot, it’s like those unspoken, unresolved tension points charge their chemistry. As much as I think I would love to have Charles and Liza sitting around blissfully happy (I mean, I would obvs), the reality is, it’s not that fun to watch. I believe the tension is building towards a resolution of sorts that will actually put them in a better place and move the relationship forward. (*Full disclosure: since writing this I listened to the podcast from ATX fest and Joe Murphy, one of the writers for Younger, said very similar things so if you listened to that podcast I promise I have not just taken what Joe said and pretended they’re my thoughts, I legit had this written and then heard (ngl, I may be feeling a little smug as a result). I’m putting it down to us both being Australian because clearly that is a thing that makes sense).

I also think there is an unsettled feeling this season because the entire premise of this show, the roles these characters played, the interactions we have grown accustomed to week after week, has been completely flipped upside down. As viewers we garner comfort from the routine of watching a show but also from knowing where the players are positioned, how they will behave and what it looks and feels like. I think the writers know exactly what they’re doing and are achieving exactly what they would’ve hoped (apologies writers if this is wildly inaccurate and I’m just assuming things incorrectly left, right and centre) - everyone is sitting in discomfort and it’s largely due to the unfamiliarity of it all. The set up, the way we’re seeing characters etc, it reflects what the characters themselves are experiencing on our screens, which is all kinds of meta and actually pretty cool. But the further you push that discomfort and make viewers sit in it, the greater the impact and more satisfying the resolution. It’s like waiting for a beat to drop in a song, the build up can become almost unbearable but damn it’s good when it lands. That’s how I feel this is all going to go. 

That is what I meant by this episode feeling like an apex, it feels as though there’s a limit to how far an audience can be taken in a state of flux without some resolve somewhere. And the writers know this, it’s what they do, it’s WHY we tune in. I’m not suggesting that everything is going to go back to the way it was, the evolution of a show like Younger is exciting and part of the fun is seeing where it goes, but we are three episodes in to a twelve episode season and while we consume it week to week, it ultimately has to make narrative sense across the whole season. It’s as though we’re at the end of an ‘establishing’ phase right now. So I am reserving any judgement until I see how it all comes together, but have no doubt there will be many resolutions and many new points of tension throughout.

Right now, I am thoroughly enjoying all that we’re getting and I think the writing this season has been excellent so far, with moments like the final scene of ‘The Unusual Suspect’ providing us with the first true cliffhanger of the season. Our last bit of Redmond for the ep was peak Redmond (I love that he dashed off to a better table uptown), and of course the big Mercury reveal, YESSS. That moment of realisation washing over Liza’s face, props to Sutton Foster, and I cannot WAIT to see how this all goes down. The prospect of inter-generational team ups of Kelsey/Liza vs. Zane/Charles while members of each team are in relationships with one another is the kind of set up I live for in a TV show. Is it July 10th yet?

[echodrops]

The Promises I Am Making (2019)

Well, 2018 is over. Uff, I feel like I can finally take a deep breath! (This is merely an illusion; the stress is coming for me NEXT WEEK, eek.) My twelve-year tradition of fifty promises continues, despite the urgh… lack of progress last year. This year, as always, I decided to carry over some of the promises that I failed to meet last year; I am going to work hard to make 2019 the year of taking care of business like a REAL adult! I have from now until January 1st, 2020, to keep these. Good luck self!

 1) Be more proactive about tracking and following up with struggling students to decrease the number of students who drop from my class when they realize they cannot pass.

2) Find a place to put in volunteer hours because uhhhh like this is actually important to my work evaluation and I definitely need something to write in that section… Yikes, this spring is my last chance to do this!! @_@

 “The Utah House” promises:

3) Install the fire escape window in the Utah house, no matter how much it might cost, because I can’t get a totally unrelated tenant in that basement without said window…

4) Buy sod to add grass to the front portion of the lawn so that it no longer looks like garbage.

5) Fix the bricks near the windowsills on the Utah house to prevent long-term damage.

6) Get a watering system for my roses at the Utah house because I think my bro is probably killing them and that’s just not cool.

7) Work on the patio at the Utah house before it just flat out falls down.

8) Paint the stairwell so that there’s no chance of anything like lead paint or asbestos being exposed.

9) Trim the backyard bushes so the neighbors don’t hate us anymore…

Now back to our regularly scheduled disorganization:

10) Move into a new house in Texas where I can get real internet, please for the love of god…

11) Save money for my upcoming trip to Japan! 2020 baby!

12) Get my wisdom tooth removed because it’s still there and still killing me, yikessss.

13) Make an appointment with an eye doctor for like the first time in years. Good job, Yehn, good job.

14) Get my prescriptions refilled because I’m dwindling on asthma medicine and like… I could die from this… I should never have been left to care for myself; I’m not mature enough for this responsibility…

15) FINISH THE GIVEAWAY PRIZES I PROMISED LAST YEAR because holy shit I am incompetent and the worst and everyone has permission to hate me for starting things and never finishing them, fuck.

16) Go dolphin watching in the Gulf for real this time. Seriously, it’s $10 Yehn, you can do this.

17) Return to the Channel Islands to take better pictures. D;

18) Level all my classes to 70 in FFXIV before next expansion, please.

19) Organize and properly label all the photos on my computer so that I’m no longer desperately combing through folder and folder in blank confusion, looking for a single picture in a sea of thousands…

20) Update Home and a Half more than once? PLEASE??? The guilt I feel over this currently is crushing.

21) Complete the online American Literature class I am designing on time and with no corrections needed.

22) Earn 100% completion for Kingdom Hearts III. So excited!

23) Update my calendar with important dates—holidays, birthdays, etc.—and be productive about sending cards and well-wishes.

24) Get the garbage disposal in the Texas house fixed ASAP so I don’t have to wash the dishes by hand anymore because I absolutely hate that particular chore.

25) Finish all the books my coworkers and friends bought for me recently so I can thank them for their recommendations!

26) Actually move into my new place instead of leaving it completely undecorated and lifeless.

27) Try hard to get Creative Writing into a different area of the general ed. core so that more people will enroll in it.

28) Get caught up on my Ebird reports, even the old, old, old ones I never put in because I was slacking.

29) Throw away/return/sort all the stacks of old mail in the house (OMGGGG they’ve made me look like paper hoarder and I’m nootttt).

30) Clean up the garage before moving so that I don’t have to fight spiders to move when the time comes.

31) Find a way to boost grading productivity so that each class takes only two days to grade, maximum.

32) Go to a totally new restaurant and try their food.

33) Cancel old credit cards to make sure my credit is good before trying to buy a house (although I just checked my credit score and I’m in the great range already, so this is mostly for posterities sake).

34) Get official contracts from my tenants so I can use my rental income in my next loan calculation.

35) Talk to an HR rep about my retirement savings so that I can consolidate all my retirement accounts into one. (Man, look at all these ADULTING promises.)

36) Really finish decorating my office so it looks super cute and all my students want to visit me.

37) Not sign up for ANY more new responsibilities at work in the spring semester. This is the biggest challenge. D;

38) Migrate all the rest of my books to the new Texas house instead of leaving them in Utah… SOMEHOW.

39) Use my twitter account more often to make it worth following. I will try!!

40) Keep my hair cut nicely so I look less like a mess (than I really am).

41) Successfully find a bridesmaid dress for my friend’s wedding that matches the rest of the wedding party.

42) Make sure my skin is in good condition for the wedding so I don’t look like a disturbing ghost…

43) Complete my BNHA manga collection. Since my bro bought me a bunch of the volumes for Christmas, I might as well.

44) See a groove-billed ani. (It’s another type of bird.)

45) Respond to messages, asks, and comments more quickly. I promise I’m not ignoring people… D;

46) Lose ten pounds so that I feel more fit and comfy.

47) Pay down credit card debt by at least 1/3. Yikesssss, I really need to do this quick.

48) I will finally fucking finish that chapter 73 analysis of Noragami… I swear to god…

49) Reach 1700 followers on Tumblr. You should follow me—I’m only marginally a waste of time and space!

50) I will keep these promises. LOLLLLL.

Wish me luck!

[kingsofeverything]

2019 Writing Goals, revisited.

i did that 2019 writing goals post and totally left a bunch of things off. plus it was super vague. so, this is a more specific list of fics i plan to write:

the drum beats out of time - this is part 2 of the second hand unwinds. harry’s pov. i’ve been working on a timeline, which ummmm time travel and all makes it necessary (lol that i found some inconsistencies in the dates in tshu that i’ll have to go back and change). i have plotted some of it, but not a lot. i’ve been kind of avoiding this fic at all costs lol because PRESSURE and EXPECTATIONS. i’m pretty much going into writing it knowing that not everyone will like it or it won’t be what they wanted, but that’s ok. yes, some of harry’s emails will be included.

chemical switches - this is my vampire!harry fic. i wrote about 20k of it and scrapped most of that. i’m going to keep some of it, but it has to be rewritten. i really, really, really WANT to write this fic. which means i’ll probably never do it lolllllll the idea is so cool inside my head but y’all can’t see in there, so...............

don’t want shelter timestamps - there are 2 that i want to write. 

the first weekend that harry drives up to visit louis at his house. i’d originally planned to write it from harry’s pov since dws is louis’ pov, but i’m actually thinking of doing it from louis’ pov instead. because it’ll basically be a long weekend of harry sort of proving to louis that he’s serious about their relationship, and louis being skeptical and finally coming around.

the summer that harry takes all of the photos that are on the wall in chapter 9. they’re both 13 though and i’m just......... ugh about writing them that young. it’s not something i’ve done before and the one time i tried to write them younger, i couldn’t do it. but this one would definitely be from harry’s pov. it’s when he realizes he’s for sure gay and also that he for sure has the biggest crush on louis. 

groundhog day au - there have been 2 groundhog day larry fics written for this fandom, one has definitely been deleted. idk about the other one, but i haven’t been able to find it again. but both are written from louis’ pov with him as the one getting stuck in the time loop,  so i want to write it from harry’s pov. also, though i really enjoyed both of them, they’re both based on the idea of the time loop and not the actual movie. so it would be harry as the bill murray character, who, if you’ve seen the movie, is a complete and total dickhead. like, an actual awful person who uses the time loop to do not so nice stuff at first. like get laid under false pretenses etc. (in one scene, he asks a woman where she grew up and went to school, etc. then when he wakes up the following (same) day, he pretends to remember her from school, like they’re old friends, then they have sex, and she’s gone the next day. the movie implies that he does this repeatedly.) AND ALSO ONE OF THE MOST INTERESTING PARTS ABOUT THE MOVIE AND THE STORY THAT THE WRITERS TALK ABOUT IN INTERVIEWS is that he is caught in this time loop for like a decade! and he changes as a person during that time. so if i actually sit down to write this fic, i’d like to explore that more. the change from complete asshole to actual good person? yes please. oh, and one thing i’d definitely change is the date! i want to make it xmas eve, so it’s louis’ bday and i think that’d be fun to write. 

nirvana karaoke au - the idea is basically that h and l are at their 25th high school reunion (because fyi 2019 is 25 years since kurt cobain died) and harry sings ‘smells like teen spirit’ at karaoke. it’s louis’ pov. louis has never been to a reunion before because ewwww who wants to go to a high school reunion? (not me tbqh) but his friends (zayn and liam?) make him go (idk why yet lol) and he sees harry there, but he doesn’t remember harry from school, etc. 

okaaaaaaaaaaaaay. that’s it! these are the fics i plan to write in 2019. let’s see if i write any of them lolllll

[hermitknut]

A:TLA watch, part 15

All of my posts on this are here.

I can’t handle how near to the end I am… I’m already planning a full-series rewatch with my friend in the summer… and I’m going to get Legend of Korra next month…

*deep breaths*

Okay, okay. Here we go.

OH NO IT’S A TWO-PARTER

The Boiling Rock, Part 1

Very sokka-focused previously-on

Oh zuko you’re trying so hard XD XD XD

I cannot adjust yet to this zuko-having-almost-normal-conversations-with-people thing. Like, I LOVE IT but it’s also SUPER WEIRD

Sokka this is a TERRIBLE idea. Please tell me zuko stayed up to tell him off.

HE WAS HIDING ON APPA

“you happy now?” “I’m never happy” LOLLL

Ahhhh so my two foolish boys are going on a rescue mission. What’s the betting everyone thinks Zuko has kidnapped Sokka in the night???

Oh okay, they left a note. Smart.

“nobody else has homework” bless you aang

I was gonna type something about it being nice that sokka and zuko are having a heart-to-heart BUT THE LINE IS COMING. I CAN SENSE IT.

“My first girlfriend turned into the moon.” “That’s rough, buddy.” YES IT HAPPENED IT FINALLY HAPPENED. Which also means I now know absolutely nothing about what’s coming…

I like that we’ve just skipped straight to them having disguises now, that’s honestly very fair

Also points to sokka for staying in character even if the character is a terrible person. I get very fed up in stories where someone goes undercover as a bad guy and then immediately outs themselves because they just can’t stand to say anything slightly mean??? Even when it has no real consequences??? Why was this your plan if you can’t – anyway.

Bless zuko trying to channel iroh XD

“I’ll figure it out” sokka maybe do that… quickly????

Omg he’s the girlfriend’s uncle????

“the cooler as a boat” sokkaaaaa

Lolll love a good fake fight

“war prisoners” sokka’s FACE (also pirate uh OH)

Oh boy zuko actually managed to be inspiring!! I’m proud XD

“uh, they are in a cooler sir” LOL

“my dad doesn’t have a nose ring” rude sokka maybe he got one you don’t know

HE’S THERE!!

  The Boiling Rock, Part 2

Sokka looks so small and unconvincing next to the other guardssss

Phew I was really worried sokka would give himself away then

Lolll for the SECOND TIME sokka forgets to take his helmet off before saying hello

“then we better find two” lol sokka XD

ZUKO’S EX IS HERE oh NO

Hopefully that has just implicated zuko, which is not as much of a problem as it will be if sokka gets caught…

OH NO HAVE THEY FIGURED OUT SOKKA

Lolllll he picked out someone else XD

Oh shit azula’s here - and the other third of her girl-gang

Idk why I didn’t expect her, she’ll have heard about zuko.

“because I’m a people person” lolll

“I’ve been learning to control my anger” HAHA

Holy shit zuko locked his girlfriend in

[incidentally I’m slowly realising that I think I’ve actually seen large chunks of this whole episode giffed lol. This is the first time where I’ve recognised so much of an episode! hilarious as I just last ep said we’d reached the end of things I know about...]

Holy shit when did she become spiderwoman I love it

Guys where is azula. WHERE.

Ah, there.

Maaaaaaaaaaaan look at sokka and zuko fighting together!!

“saving the jerk who dumped me” OMG

“I love zuko more than I fear you” HOLY SHIT

ACROBAT GIRL TOOK OUT AZULA WHAT THE HELL

“what are you doing in this thing” so funny story katara ummmm

Ahhh this was so cute! I had seen some of the episode in gif form, but definitely not the ending.

  Next time I’m gonna be on the last disc!!! I’M NOT READY HELP

H