#i just realized i think a lot about doriath

[eri-pl]

Silm reread 13: Maeglin (The 13 is a fitting number)

TW, CW, all kinds of warnings: Eol is in this part. And Maeglin. So, you know. All that stuff will be mentioned. And some discussion of what Maeglin's plans were.

Aredhel wants to leave, Turgon's reply is interesting. It's not "my heart", but "my reason objects" which a) is a rare phrasing (but makes sense here) b) it turns out that Turgon does have a functioning reason. Also, he says it will end badly for both of them. Huh. I have a feeling that turgon does not very well distinguish between foresight and reasoning.

Aredhel feels as if he was trying to command her and gets upset. I don't think he is. I think Turgon is more worried about his secrets, than sexist and trying to command her, because he is the brother. He says it, even. The problem is people knowing the city's location going out.

The only remotely patronizing thing he says is "there are dangers the princess doesn't know about". But I don't feel like his whole attitude towards Aredhel is patronizing.

Thingol hates the sons of Feanor so much he doesn't let their friends in, or at least people who are visiting them. Which… it's after he learned about Alqualonde, right? It makes a lot of sense.

So Aredhel goes through the spider-country. I knew it will appear somewhere. Her "bodyguards" are lost and have to run away, but she's fine and competent and goes to C&C's home but they're not home.

Also, only on this reread I realized, how far those journeys are. Also, elven timescales. C&C are chillin with the 3rd C on a vacation and it lasts over a year. Aredhel gets bored, wanders into Nan Elmoth and :(

So, Nan Elmoth. Enchanted by Melian long ago, but now dark, the darkest forest. I did talk about Melian being Melkor-aligned, haven't I? (Not as in: evil. As in "she was close to him conceptually by "birth" but did not join the rebellion.) This is just my hc, but I felt like mentioning it.

So, Eol. Eol is very dark too and kind of sus. He doesn't like Doriath, he fled when Melian did the Girdle (why?), he loved shadow. He is a goth and this is kind of sus. He's also pals with Dwarves (who were evil in the early Legendarium). This in itself is not evil, but feels like a foreshadowing nonetheless. Also, I think no matter his morality, in each case he would be much more likely to use poison than the Noldor were. (Maybe non-lethal poison, if he was a nicer person). Also, he invents cool black goth!mithril galvorn. And he made the two coolest swords in the Legendarium, but this will be said later.

Also, he blames the Noldor fot Morgoth's return (unjustly) and for some other things, as we see later (justly).

Also, the narrative feels the need to explicitely tell us that he is not a Dwarf, but a noble Elf. Also he is sad but handsome and has darkvision. Which is cool.

What is not cool starts here. He sees Aredhel being pretty and wants her so he magics her into not being able to leave the forest and into wandering into his house, where he invites her in.

And they get married. In circumstances not elaborated about, but even if she did fall in love, the gps-jamming trick was very not ok as a way to flirt. And yes, he explicitely did it because he wanted her.

"Nobody claims the marriage was non-consensual" says the narrative. which very much reads as Pengolodh going "I will not claim it for lack of proof, but I think it". Anyway, ok, let's take it at face value, she fell in love, ok, fine, he was handsome and had cool swords, I get it.

Aaaand as her husband he ordered Aredhel to not go in sunlight, and to not meet the sons of Feanor or even any other Noldor. this guy really needs a course on relationships. (To be honest to Eol, his parents are never mentioned and such stuff often is generational, so his fault might have been less that it feels. But still. I want to punch him.)

Maeglin. He is really good at reading people's minds, and at commanding people. Also, he's tall, dark-eyed, dark-haired, pale and Noldor-shaped. Tl;dr: he is really handsome.

Dad takes him to visit the Dwarves and Maeglin learns stuff. Mom tells him about the Noldor and Maeglin wants to meet Turgon and the Feanorians. Eol rants at him, partially reasonable (they mourdered our close kin and stole are lands), partially not (you are my son, so you will do as I say or I will bind you).

Ugh. his idea of a family. I'm pretty sure he had some orcs in the line, or at least some escaped thralls with a lot of emotional damage. This sounds like Angband logic.

Maeglin doesn't seem to love his father either: he wants to leave with Aredhel, because he learned all that he could from Eol (and the Dwarves), so what use in staying. I don't blame him. So they leave.

C&C don't like Eol (not surprising with his attitude towards the Noldor) and Curufin is said to be hasty (before it was Caranthir. I guess they both are?)

OK, I don't get it. Curufin disses Eol, but still he does tell him all he needs to know to find Aredhel (who is his friend, the book said, or at least Celegorm's). I guess this is the hasty personality at work.

Please, do not be like Curufin. when a suspicious / unknown person asks you about your friend's wherabouts, shut up, and check with your friend first. (Curufin did not have a phone, but still, he could have shut up.)

Also, Curufin, out of all people, gives Eol a sort-of-prophecy! With all the "my heart is telling me". Which checks out later.

"I can't kill you because the laws of the Eldar" — well, it is before Doriath, so maybe he still cares? Or maybe it's just "Maedhros would be mad at me".

Eol is good at sneaking, I suppose, but the guards of Gondolin are better at guarding. They catch him and, because he says that he's Aredhel's husband, they do not kill him against the king's explicit orders on what to do with tresspassers. I have no idea what to make of this whole situation (not logically, logically it makes sense. But narratively, thematically.)

Eol sees the city and is amazed, and gets even angrier and more hateful at the Noldor. It reminds me of something. "you have a lot of cool stuff, I hate you even more" is rthe exact same reaction as (canonically) Melkor has after his release from Mandos. and Turgon, just like Manwe, is clueless not reading people's minds and it wouldn't be posiible in this case anyway. And is kind and gives him the benefit of doubt.

Eol refuses to shake his hand, like an upset preschooler, and disses Turgon. He starts very reasonably (this is our land, you are proud and did a lot wring, also I don't care about your city's secrets), but then he gets on the sexism again. And heavily.

His argument is "I will take my son, but if you as the brother claim Aredhel, I am ok with this". Seriously. What. Where did you learn it? Dwarves? Are Dwarves this awful? Angband thralls? Orcs?

Also, he tries to kill Maeglin on the logic of "you can't keep what is mine", which (I am sorry to everyone who will feel offended on part of their blorbo) sounds like Feanor's attitude about the Silmarils. Or worse, depending how you read Feanor. Would Feanor rather see the Silmarils destroyed and noone getting them, or see them going to the Valar? This may need a poll. ;)

Aaand he curses Maeglin too. Idril has some kind of foresight and this curse makes Maeglin sus in her eyes.

Maeglin is going strainght to the top, he's important in the city, widely respected and appreciated by Turgon. He's got a circle of friends: people like metalworking gravitate towards him. He is in the city council, and does well and wisely. He is also a brave warrior and fights in the Unnumbered tears. And does very well. He is by far not a loser.

But. He is in love with Idril (happens, especially when you have emotional trauma falling in love is random and weird and not always with the best people for you). And he never talks to anyone about it. Which is understandable with his background, but also very unhealthy. It kills him from the inside.

Idril (who is apparently also really good at osanwe) notices his love for her and is freaked out. Which is fine on both sides. Not "fine" as "pleasant" but as "no blame here". Emotional issues often lead to someone's emotions "leaking out" and being uncomfortable to be around without any actual bounduary-crossing. Just the vibe. And Elves have this much more, they have semi-telepathy! Also, Idril is under no obligation to love him back, and she does treat him politely, so no blame here either.

It will get worse, of course. On his side. But now I think it's not. also, I need English quotes.

"he loved the beauty of Idril and desired her, without hope" — this sounds as if he accepted the fact that she won't love him. Which is the appropriate reaction. Probably the only Tolkien quote, where "without hope" is a positive. Well, semi-positive. If he had some hope (or at least'; was open to the possibility) of finding another love or learning to live single, things would maybe go better. Still, this sounds like acceptance to me.

BUT

"But as the years passed still Maeglin watched Idril, and waited, and his love turned to darkness in his heart." — waited for what???

The interpratations I can think of:

Pro-Maeglin:

waited for this feeling to pass

just generally waited, as in: "he grew and stuff happenned"

waited for something to happen even though it was not possible — it worked for Indis after all, and I'm sure he knew this story — but fully passively and with no plan to do anything creepy (which I think would be an ok reaction, maybe unwise but not bounduary-crossing)

Mixed:

this sentence and the "without hope" sentence came from two different sources (both in-world and when Cristopher Tolkien complied the silm) with different characterizations of pre-capture Maeglin

Negative:

he regained "hope" (inquotes because it's a very nasty kind of amdir in this case and doesn't deserve the word) and flirted with her despite her protests, he was a creep

was even worse a creep and waited for the opportunity to "wed" Idril his father's way or worse (not only deceit but force)

had no hope for wedding but waited for revenge "if I can't have her, I will kill her" AKA his father's way again

I have no idea what the intended meaning is in here.

The "darkness" may be anything from trauma (more unprocessed emotions), through hopelessness (if I can't have Idril, I can't have anything good and y life is meaningless) to outright premeditation for rape.

Meaglin is a very ambiguous character in the text. He will get worse, but he will get worse after close contact with Morgoth, so it isn't necessarily a good measure of his personality at this stage. But there isn't one clear reading of him, at least in the text itself.

(eol is …. not ambiguous, but very ambivalent. He's got a lot of common sense! His political opinions about the Noldor are not all correct, but many of them are very on-point and better said than Thingol's. But also he's awfully sexist and violent.)

Also, no mention of Anguirel. :(

And I would love to see a connection between his unrequited love, "darkness" and the sword. This needs some HCs one day. The feelings resonating with the black blade, making it more deadly and precise. The metal cooling the feelings, making them a dark, icy thing that cannot be talked about. definitely needs a hc or fic.

[zealouswerewolfcollector]

Silm ask: 🐉

🐉 A lot of figures in the Silm have weird Eldritch powers or possibly biology. Tell us about your headcanons for one.

Thanks for the ask!

I'll take the occasion to plug my Gil-galad origin fic, in which Gil has weird biology and powers. I won't spoil how.

Besides that, I think Melian's descendants all had some weirdness in them to various degrees (pretty obvious in Luthien's case) and it could be activated if they worked on it or if they were in the proximity of an Ainu power.

It definitely helped Ulmo turn Elwing into a bird successfully. Dior had the potential too, but my headcanon is that he favored his Mannish side and never cultivated it. It can explain what happened to Elured and Elurin. When they were left in the wilderness, they came across some pools of magic that still persisted in Doriath even after Melian's departure. That magic combined with their dormant powers turned them into birds. But the magic dispersed and they were never able to turn back. This reminds me to rec @aipilosse's The Yawning Grave - a brilliant, dark fairy tale that plays with these themes.

I like to think that Elrond and Elros and their children also had some non-elven magic in them. It diminished, of course, farther down the line, especially after magic left Middle-earth, but even ages later, there are some people in Gondor that trace their origin back to Arwen and Aragorn and feel like that sometimes they can understand the language of the birds or stand on the edge of the precipice and think that they can grow wings and fly.

ask game here

[runawaymun]

I'm sure you'll get/have gotten other asks about this same thing, but I would love, love, love to know more about your ideas for a messy kidnap fam fic. :)

(also, accidently unfollowed when trying to hit the ask button. it's finally happened)

Ask me about my not-yet-written-fics from this list

The Messy Kidnap Fam Longfic

Under a cut for length

It all starts with Mae and Mags finding Elrond and Elros in Elwing's wardrobe post-oath-induced-rage fugue.

Elros and Elrond put up a hell of a fight to Not Get Taken and are absolutely convinced that a) Elwing has been murdered and b) they're also about to get murdered.

Maedhros gets bitten by Elros >:3

Mae and Mags have a debate about What To Do With them. I feel like maybe Mae initially is like "Put Those Back Where They Came From or So Help Me" at Mags, but the only idea they come up with is maybe leaving the twins at the edge of what's left of Sirion in the hopes that they'll be found (because if they tried to drop off the twins in person they'd get attacked on sight by Gil Galad and Cirdan). But Mae can't stop worrying that they'll die of exposure that way (he still feels awful about what happened to Elured and Elurin at Doriath).

They both realize at the exact same time that Elwing and Earendil Might Want Their Kids Back and Might Be Willing to Do A Lot to get them back, and so Elrond and Elros would be excellent hostages who could potentially be ransomed for a Silmaril.

So Elrond and Elros are very much hostages at this point. Mae and Mags do not really interact with them at all (save for Mags poking around in their minds to try and get some information out of them. Which Mae disapproves of but doesn't care enough about to stop him. He's in a bad way rn. Like his last other baby brother save Mags just died and he himself just participated in a massacre and he doesn't feel particularly good about it. They didn't even get a Silmaril and their own forces are fragmented post Sirion. My boy is barely keeping things together. They're together with duct tape and string at this point).

The twins are carted along the road back to Amon Ereb but kept under too heavy guard for them to be able to escape.

Also absolutely nobody in camp understands how to look after Peredhil. The twins do not get enough food to start with and they probably get sick from the elements, and this does go unnoticed for a WHILE.

They get back to Amon Ereb and are promptly put in a horrible little white room with a lock on the door. Again, Mae and Mags are not much interested with interacting with them at this point. Mags is a bit more interested but that's mostly because the twins remind him of Ambarussa and he's also emotionally unstable.

Mae sends ransom demands to Elwing, Earendil, and Gil-Galad, and they wait.

The twins are still hungry and sick, and convinced that they're gonna die. Also Mags keeps interacting with them and it's scary.

(They do get a window because keeping elves or elf adjacent beings away from view of the stars is unthinkably cruel, even for Mae and Mags. But they also still continue to be pretty neglected, and there is really nothing to do in that room. Elrond goes pretty catatonic at this point and Elros starts trying to tear holes through the drywall).

At some point it occurs to Mags and Mae that the twins are in poor condition and that's not really good when it comes to trying to ransom them.

They don't really know what to do though and so they consult some humans in their service, who are understandably like "uhhhhhhhhh they need more food and some medicine probably boss. Also it's kind of cold for them actually like sure it's fine for an elf but these are actual half-human babies).

Cue the twins finally getting some basic help. I have a vague idea that they bond with a human nurse that's sent in to look after them because Mae and Mags just cannot be bothered to Think About It.

Mae especially is pointedly staying away because it's too painful to be around the twins because a) they remind him of his brothers and b) they remind him of everything awful he's ever done and he can't handle that guilt.

Things continue to be Bad For A While.

Also I forgot to mention that Elrond and Elros have a poor grasp of Quenya at best, and so they really don't understand anything being said around them. They're picking it up fast though. Especially Elrond.

Finally a rejection of the ransom demands comes back.

What the fuck.

Mae absolutely goes into a rage over this because he literally does not know what else he can do. Because apparently Earendil and Elwing are on a boat somewhere with his father's Silmaril.

"What are we doing with the twins?"

Elrond and Elros are more convinced than ever that they're gonna get killed.

It's agreed that the twins should be dropped off somewhere to be found by Gil-Galad, and that trip begins. They likely send a letter to Gil-Galad announcing that they're returning the twins.

Gil-Galad has absolutely no reason to believe that the twins are alive and smells a trap. He does not come to pick up the twins.

Mae and Mags do watch (or have someone else watch) from a distance to make sure the twins are collected. The twins are not collected. The day wanes on into night. It gets really cold. The twins start bawling because they really think they're going to die now.

Mae really can't bear that and also at this point he's mad at everyone and everything.

They recollect the twins and decide that they're just going to have to look after them now until they're old enough to go back to Gil on their own.

Cue a very long tiptoe process of Mags getting attached to the twins and Mae refusing to (he's actually a big softie though so eventually he does).

I have way more ideas about later stages but this is already getting ridiculously long, sorry.

TLDR: (but I can elaborate more if people want me to): Mae and Mags finally start to get a grasp on Peredhil needs but wow is the damage done.

Elrond and Elros are veeeery slow to trust.

Super codependant relationship forms, with Elrond especially terrified of being left again because Mae and Mags are the only people who seem to want them now. Elrond starts emotionally regulating Mae and Mags just as much (if not more) than he used to for Elwing.

Mae and Mags get very attached to the twins and use them to cling to the last remnants of their personhood. This is not a good thing.

There's obviously more here I've thought this out very thoroughly.

Love grew between them but it was fucked from the start, essentially.

Also um something something the twins losing their Sindarin and not being raised in their Sindarin culture and essentially getting unintentionally completely colonized by Mae and Mags :/ icky and unavoidable.

[velvet4510]

I ship every canonical Tolkien couple - except Aerin & Brodda, Aredhel & Eöl, and Tar-Míriel & Ar-Pharazôn. Those poor ladies deserved so much better than those pathetic a-holes.

(I also kinda think Melian could’ve done better than Thingol.)

These are the “non-canonical” Tolkien pairings that I ship, since nobody asked.

Frodo x Sam (it’s literally canon, period, forget the “non-canonical” category, it’s right there, it’s real)

Frodo x Sam x Rosie (Sam being shared during that year in Bag End; also all but spelled out)

Bilbo x Thorin (obviously; even in the book, it’s subtextual, but it’s THERE)

Fingon x Maedhros (Beren/Lúthien + Frodo/Sam parallels are no joke; yes yes i know i know they’re first cousins and that should be a dealbreaker, and for a while it was for me, but technically they’re HALF-cousins, they only share one grandparent, and it’s not like they can procreate together, so it’s very different from what it would be if one of them was female)

Túrin x Beleg (also, obviously; just read their scenes and you can tell - ALSO the fact that Túrin never mentions Beleg again after Glaurung’s attack … do y’all realize that Glaurung is canonically a memory-eraser … that dragon wiped his memories of the love of his life and the reason he was triggered into romantic feelings for Níniel was because he saw a blond person lying on the ground under a flash of lightning which was also the way he saw Beleg for the last time and his heart remembered that even though his mind didn’t!!!!!!)

Mablung x Nienor (he just did so much for her and never gave up on searching for her until he then had to live with the knowledge that she was dead and he failed her … she lost all her memories of him and married her brother … the idea that they fell in love in Doriath before all this makes for a practically perfect tragic love story. Best part is he knew and loved her for her real self, whereas Turambar and Brandir both fell in love with an amnesiac shell of herself.)

Finrod x Bëor (yes, Finrod loved Amarië too …BUT look at how Bëor gave up everything to spend the rest of his life with Finrod, and how Finrod lost Bëor to mortality but then laid down his life for Bëor’s descendant; the angst is just too juicy to ignore)

Maglor x Daeron (two nasty but guilt-ridden minstrels who deserve each other, perfect)

I do not ship Merry and Pippin at all; not only are they full blooded first cousins, but since Merry is an only child and Pippin only has sisters, they very clearly fill that “brother” role in each other’s lives.

After a lot of thought, I’ve decided that queerplatonic Legolas/Gimli makes the most sense to me. They also fill the “brother” role in each other’s lives since they both have no blood siblings. I understand why many people do ship them romantically/sexually, but the thought of anything sexual between them just doesn’t feel right to me, personally. Even the thought of kisses just doesn’t seem to fit them, IMO; they’re about mutual respect and sharing quality time, rather than anything physical. To me they exemplify “heterosexual life partners” perfectly. It is important in this shipping-obsessed culture to never undermine platonic friendship.

[the-red-butterfly]

Not-Yet-Written-Fics Game

Tagged by @fishing4stars to reveal my not-yet-written fics.

This is fantastic actually the amount of things I have on the back burner is HUGE I'll have to pick and choose, oh dear.

For Your Life Hate Me (Twilight) As story about Carlisle and Jasper (very self indulgent) where they get kidnaped by María and forced to fight (like in Jasper's old days). To keep Carlisle alive Jasper is forced to do some not nice things that horrify Carlisle but he'll do them to keep the man who took him in safe, even if Carlisle hates Jasper in the end.

The Adventures of Young Man Henry Winchester and his Violent Grandsons (Supernatural) Henry Winchester survives his death by Abadon! And now he has to get used to modern life without his family. It is extremely painful and sometimes his grandsons are no help. The start of their relationship is very rocky but it'll eventually lead to better days. I'm very fond of this one.

It's The Ashy Taste Of Sacrifice (One Piece) Sanji and Zoro get turned into animals and (spoilers) in the end Sanji has to bear the brunt of this happening and suffer a life as a fox. The premise is silly but I promise you the contents are not. I am making this boy SUFFER and that is just a universal constant. Full of platonic friendship and hurt/comfort ✨And Zoro being a better bro to Sanji.

To Look Like Her (One Piece) And to keep up with the point before. This is a story about Sanji self sabotaging his body because he realizes that when he's sick he looks like his mother and he wants to KEEP that look. It does not end well for anyone. The Straw Hats get rightfully very pissed and concerned about this.

Mending The Tears One Spoonful At The Time (Sam Rami Spider-man) This is just a whole ass ploy to better the friendship between Peter and Harry. Harry realizes something is off with Peter when he notices his friend is ALWAYS hungry. When Harry offers help Peter's pride gets in the way and Harry has to devise ways to secretly help Peter.

Homeward Bound From The Sea (Frozen) Frozen AU where Agnarr survives the shipwreck but is lost for some years in an island until he's eventually found by a fishing-ship. He gets rescued and returned home but things are hard for father and daughters equally. Full of Agnarr!whump and everyone having to adapt to this new reality. Kind of non-verbal Agnarr in this one.

When Doriath Fell (Silmarillion/Tolkien) AU where Dior and Elured and Elurin survive BUT actually Dior did die he just came back wrong. So Dior raises his children as a feral creatures in the forest surrounding Menegroth. But Elured and Elurin sort of have to take care of their father as well because the man is not well. Of course, this thing is full of angst what did you expect?

The Price Of Freedom (Sandman) Hob rescues Dream from the fishbowl of doom and Dream thinks he needs to repay him with devotion and love (just like he did with Alianora). Surprisingly shippy but not really? HobxDream is not endgame at any rate, but Dream is convinced that's how he needs to repay his friend for saving him. Very angsty, the sky is blue, next.

Reverse 'Verse (Firefly) Another AU (of course) where instead of River being taken and brainwashed it is Simon who becomes the mortal weapon/assassin. And in turn it is River who has to take care of him and escape. Lots of sibiling feels.

I have so many, so so many, but i better not drag them up into the surface less I get tempted into working on them XD but here are some honorable mentions of ofter fandoms I have wips in: SPD Power Rangers (don't laugh), Batman, Hocus Pocus and a ton for Criminal Minds.

If you feel like asking about any of these drop me an ask and I might feel inclined to doodle something about it 😂

No pressure tags: @arlenianchronicles @slightly-crimson-tornado @bad-at-names-and-faces @loonysama @byrambles @i-did-not-mean-to

[novemberthecatadmirer]

So my argument about Elwing is, her decision in the end was COMPLETELY LOGICAL

Because what did Celegorm’s followers do to Elurin & Elured?

They did not kill them.

They did not kill them; they got their hands clean from children’s blood by abandoning them into a forest and leave them to die of starvation or cold or evil creatures. Or worse, they might be picked up by Morgoth’s servants and suffer fate worse than death.

Elwing had completely NO reasons to trust M & M would not do anything similar when they said they would let the twins live if she gave them the gem.

—————

Another really interesting thing I realized rereading Silmarillion is that the Silmarillion version did not mention Elwing was threatened with her twins. It does heavily imply that she knew they were captured. But how she knew and whether she was asked to buy their lives with Silmaril is unknown.

And she did the right thing actually when she got turned to bird; she took Silmaril away from Beleriand. If she took the gem to Cirdan or Gil-Galad there was this chance that M&M would just attack them again.

It was actually Earendil who decided to not turn back. The text basically said he “saw now no hope left in the lands of Middle-earth” and “turned again in despair and came not home.”

It’s very interesting that not just Elwing was in despair drove to suicide previously, Earendil was in despair too.

I am just thinking Earendil was probably really in a very bad place mentally all his way to Valinor.

I think he did not even care about whether he got to live or not, and did not mind if he got killed as long as he got Valar to help. There was also a whole case of survivor’s guilt about him not being there when Sirion was attacked, and his decision to not turn back.

I really wonder if his “weary of the world” was heavy ptsd and depression…

And while Earendil was looking for Sirion, Elwing was not doing nothing in canon!

Somehow she wandered by the shore line and somehow went near to Alqualonde and somehow “befriended the Teleri”? And started telling them everything about “Doriath and Gondolin and the griefs of Beleriand.”

That’s a lot of coincidence out there that it almost appear intentional? There was no way Elwing did not learn where Alqualonde was from the Noldor. It almost looked like she was actively seeking the Teleri.

Like, Earendil was on this might-be-suicide mission to look for Valar to beg for help… and Elwing who was ordered to stay behind quickly started to make connection with local population and start actively telling them about all the sufferings of the lost family they abandoned oversea, the not-evil section of Noldor, and their old homeland?

I just wonder if Elwing, the one who actually did the political side of things in Sirion instead of her sailing-obsessed husband, has some backup plans going on here.

Like, if the Valar decided to murder Earendil, she’ll attempt to lead some mass protests to help her husband and have Teleri at least doing a Beleriand evacuation with their ships…

I really think Elwing was less depressed at this moment than Earendil… She still was able to chose life for both of them when Earendil kind of wished eternal rest.

[anghraine]

I just finished the Silmarillion and Faramir and Denethor being Numenor call backs feels waaaay more significant now. Damn. I knew vaguely what happens before reading but now I have a greater appreciation for the sense of scale involved here.

It also means I encountered the first age origins of some of the Stewards names (Denethor, Boromir, Finduilas) I was wondering if you had any thoughts on any connection or relevance to their lotr namesakes? It makes Faramir an even more interesting choice in terms of departure from that tradition (and then Elboron after him, I wonder now about the choice of the El- prefix)

Another Silm finisher! Welcome :D

And yeah, I remember realizing on a first read that something important was going on with the Númenor throwback thing, but reading the Akallabêth and being like "...oh" made it more powerful and complicated in a really intriguing way. And the dream of Númenor's destruction haunting Faramir can be understood without the Silm, but it's definitely more with it.

I think the namesake thing is mostly a Dúnadan tradition that's gone on so long that later Third Age people with those names are more likely to be named after previous Third Age people with those names than directly for First Age ones (it could be both simultaneously, of course, esp if First Age names form a lot of the common "pool" of Gondorian ones). We see those kinds of namesakes in the House of Dol Amroth, too (Morwen, Finduilas, at a remove Ivriniel), and also just some random Gondorian characters (like Húrin of the Keys).

"Our" Denethor and Boromir, say, are most likely named for Steward Denethor I and his own son, the Steward Boromir. But there might have been a lost reference going on with the previous Denethor and Boromir. And I suspect the Ruling Stewards made more of a point of using First Age heroic names than they had before (though they and others did do it outside the Ruling Stewardship) to underscore their royal/heroic origins as they became the functional ruling dynasty.

I don't imagine the choices were always "random First Age name that the parents liked"—potentially some were even prophetic in meaning or in terms of future resonance with the original bearers' lives. There could be other reasons, too. I imagine that the names of Finduilas and her sister Ivriniel reflect some sort of parental or familial preoccupation with the original Finduilas, say. And generally, I think a lot of the choices would have to do with cultural stature in Gondor—which might explain why there are a lot of references to Edain heroes and some to big name Elves, but not to the Fëanorians.

I'm rambling a bit, lol, but I do find it interesting. Faramir's name, far from the insult it's often taken as, is a name of literal royalty. We know that the Stewards before the Ruling Stewardship often took Quenya names to mark their royal origins, as did other families of royal descent (the royal family themselves always did it). So a royal Quenya name is actually weirdly suited to Faramir's role as the Steward/chief counselor/regent/etc for Aragorn, but I doubt either parent knew exactly that would happen when he was born—maybe Finduilas had some flash of insight as Dúnadan mothers sometimes do, though. It's appropriate in meaning for her personally at any rate (fára means shore).

The El- prefix for Faramir and Éowyn's son is very interesting, you're right! Considering Gondorian preoccupation with legends of the past and use of their names, it's hard to think there would be no association with the El- of the royal family of Doriath, including Elros. Faramir is a descendant, if remotely, but bringing that tradition back after thousands of years would certainly be an intriguing choice on his and Éowyn's parts. If it's not an allusion to Elros et al. but chosen for meaning, that's just "star" or (more loosely) "Elf," which is also rather peculiar. The -boron is a pretty obvious reference to Boromir, of course. I'll have to think about how I headcanon that particular one, actually.

Thanks for the ask!

[actual-bill-potts]

For the Director's Cut game! I'd love to hear your commentary about the latest chapter of And All His Towers Cast Down, especially the questioning scene in Tol-in-Gaurhoth. That was brilliantly terrifying and this part in particular just lives rent-free in my head: “Finrod can feel the moment when Sauron realizes what he has done [...] he feels his face re-form, his bones knitting together - no - no, please - ‘I will un-make and re-make you, as many times as it takes’ “

thank you so much! and many apologies for my late response to these, afjdklsafd ive been sick and am now catching up on work and yes, Finrod and co ARE sitting in a corner staring at me as I determinedly ignore all my WIPs lmao but anyway. ok. going to talk about the entire chapter. under a cut as it's going to be a bit long lol.

So, chapter 13 was not initially planned at all. In fact (and you may be horrified to hear this), pretty much the entire first half of this fic has been mostly unplanned, because when I started working on towers I did not intend to include Finrod as more than a side character! You can kind of see it in this post which was what towers came out of - I wanted to write a story about Lúthien and Maglor, partly because they are a fascinating character combo and partly because I was really interested in the political implications of such a team-up for both the Noldor and the Sindar.

Like, with Finrod alive, Lúthien (presumably) feeling very positively towards at least one son of Fëanor, and Morgoth having been dealt a crushing blow by the combined might of the Noldor and the Sindar, does Thingol back down? Do Celegorm and Curufin? Would Lúthien and Beren feel the need to retire from the world if they had met more people who wholeheartedly supported their love, rather than being attacked at every turn? And (because this is a theme I remain fascinated by in the Silm) does any of it make any difference at all? After all, the Noldor are at war not just with Morgoth but also with the rest of the Valar, so how would being under the Doom play out during a Nirn that included the support of all the Elven kingdoms? These were the questions that I was really excited about answering when I started this fic.

When I began to write it, I was going to have the rescue play out in a chapter or two, max, and then have Finrod and maybe even Maedhros join the Silmaril squad. It was going to be so epic - but as I was writing, characters started to push back on what I was saying, lol. For instance, it took some convincing for the pragmatic Maedhros to want to even try to find out what happened to Finrod (never mind rescuing him!). No way, no how was he going to go to Angband. And after watching ten of Finrod's closest friends die for him, Beren would knock Finrod over the head with a chair and run away before he'd let Finrod follow him on any more of the quest. So that was right out.

And then the more I thought about the rescue, the more fascinated I became by Tol-in-Gaurhoth in general; it really represents a turning point in Leithian for a lot of characters. Lúthien and Huan come into their power and start taking control of the narrative; Finrod dies; Beren loses most of his agency (I find it fascinating that pre-Tol-in-Gaurhoth, Beren drives most of the plot - he becomes an outlaw, he makes it into Doriath, he decides to go on the Silmaril Quest, he goes to Nargothrond, etc - and afterwards he turns into something of a McGuffin for Lúthien, which is to say that most of what he does is either run away from Lúthien or follow her around); and Sauron and Morgoth go from having the upper hand to being caught by surprise over and over again. The difficulty in writing an AU about a key moment in the story - Finrod's death - being interrupted by new characters and events is that you still have to deal with the ramifications of that key moment, and now there are more people around, lol.

So anyway, after spending a lot of time thinking about this, I ended up wanting to tell two main stories with towers. The first is the story I originally meant to tell, that of Maglor and Lúthien wrecking Morgoth: but with the added twist that Maglor, particularly after watching how haunted Maedhros was in Tol-in-Gaurhoth, is motivated at least as much by guilt as he is by a desire to stick it to Morgoth and fulfill the Oath. He feels guilty that he didn't rescue Maedhros, and he feels guilty that he is going to Angband now and not then, and the sight of Finrod immediately post-Sauron's-hospitality is bringing a lot of painful memories back for him, so he is...not thinking very clearly. He is going to have to face a lot of that in Angband, both facing the stark reality of where Maedhros was for (REDACTED amount of time), and eventually accepting how fucking insane it was that Fingon's rescue actually worked.

The second story I want to tell is that of Finrod's reckoning with his own trauma and his own failure. Somebody else sent an ask about Finrod's character in this, so I won't go too much into all that here, but to summarize: Tol-in-Gaurhoth in many ways represents the failure and destruction of nearly everything Finrod worked on and valued in Middle-earth. Characters in the Silm tend to deal with failure by. well. murdering people. but our boi is pretty unique. How would he deal with being so thoroughly hurt in a universe in which he survives?

Both of these stories are about to actually kick off in the next few chapters (ahhh, chapter 14...where the original iteration of this story started...), but as I was working on chapter 14 onwards, I felt that towers as a whole needed a little space to breathe between the conclusion of what is essentially the World's Longest Prologue and the start of the "meat" of the story. Hence Maglor's conversation with Maedhros, which sets out the main (internal) conflicts their characters will be facing. For Maglor, it is:

Maglor drew a deep breath. "I only - the truth is that I should have done this - this quest - when you were captured. Thou art as precious as a Silmaril to me," he added, slipping into Quenya in the privacy of their chambers, "and I wish that I had had the courage to do as Lúthien did. That I am going now, and not then: it damns me. Did I care so little for our father's jewels - did I care so little for thy life - that I was content to sit behind walls until the daughter of Thingol reached out her hand and did what we could not?"

Maglor is intensely driven by guilt and a sense of competition with Lúthien, which will drive him to do. some Things.

For Maedhros, it is this:

Maglor laid his head on Maedhros' shoulder carefully. Maedhros felt his tears wetting his tunic; but he did not mind. "It is all right, Makalaurë," he said. "It is all well. Do thy great deed; and in fulfilling the Oath perhaps we will find a way to unmesh ourselves from Doom. I would like that," he added, very quietly, "for our younger brothers."

Maedhros, hearing about C&C's actions in Nargothrond, and watching Maglor be so torn apart by the Oath, is fully realizing here the impact the Oath is having on his brothers. A large part of his arc will revolve around dealing with the political and personal disaster that is Nargothrond; and he is counting on Maglor and Lúthien, maybe more than he himself realizes, to repeat Fingon's great deed.

And then we get to the Tol-in-Gaurhoth flashback! Finrod's arc in the coming chapters will be all about recovery and coming to terms with what happened to him - so it ought to be clear in the reader's mind what actually did happen to him. I tried to use my understanding of the characters of Sauron and Morgoth, as well as the canonical events of Tol-in-Gaurhoth, to work out what the experience most likely entailed (apart from the obvious, uh. getting eaten by wolves thing). We know that post-Silmaril-burning, Morgoth is incapable of assuming a fair form. From this we can extrapolate that likely those who serve him have something of a grudge against beautiful things - and Finrod is canonically very beautiful. So I think he would be a very tempting target for Sauron to smash into a pulp, alas.

Also, as several authors here on tumblr have pointed out, it's somewhat ludicrous that Sauron looked at the incredibly powerful golden-haired Elvenking in the company of a mortal and didn't recognize Finrod - unless Finrod managed to keep up some sort of enchantment that prevented Sauron from recognizing him. There's a lot of different ways this could go, but I essentially interpreted it as Finrod keeping up a spell of misdirection - Sauron knows there's something about him, it's on the tip of his tongue, but Finrod is preventing him from fully realizing their importance. So Sauron is essentially playing with his food here - I'm of the opinion that if Sauron knew what to look for with regards to Nargothrond, Finrod would stand no chance. Finrod certainly thinks so, anyway, and so he's using everything he can to keep Sauron from looking at him as anything more than a plaything. Unfortunately Finrod is a) very pretty and b) very much beloved, which gives Sauron lots of room for entertainment.

Unfortunately, and I do hate to admit this, the "unmaking and remaking" thing was almost a complete accident - I was almost done with the scene, and then I thought, "wait! I never mentioned facial injuries! fuck!" so. sauron got to be extra creepy to cover up for my lack of planning. xD

[imakemywings]

I am pretty sure Aredhel would be straight-up disgusted if she learned her situation is used as an excuse for her questionable bestie to commit the same action that was done to her to another woman. Like what deranged bullshit popularize that take is so wild to me, actually, I've recently seen posts claiming Celegorm did the right thing for Aredhel, like how? That's just making him even worse than he already is. Besides, Turgon already did it right, yet the dude is more hated than blorbo the fair. Damn, I just realized, that horrid take is such a clear case of those defending the feanorian's questionable actions by blaming someone else/victims. Yikes. Sorry for sending this, I'm just shocked a take like this was given justification for.

I think there are a lot of things going on with this whole take (ie: that Celegorm's planned assault of Luthien was done "in revenge" for Aredhel).

TW for mentions of rape and assault

First, the text gives us zero reason to think that Aredhel is anywhere in Celegorm's motivations. He looks and Luthien and thinks she's hot, and he wants to force Thingol to open the Girdle to the Feanorians, so he takes her hostage and intends to force her to marry him. Aredhel never comes up. It's not even clear Celegorm is aware of Aredhel's fate.

Second, Luthien obviously has nothing to do with what happened to Aredhel. She's wholly disconnected from it. Celegorm would have to do some insane mental gymnastics to view assaulting this random stranger as "avenging" Aredhel's abusive marriage.

However, third, it's not impossible that he decided assaulting some random Sinda could be ~vengeance~ since Aredhel's abusive husband was a Sinda. I can definitely see how you could write Celegorm in a way where he twists this around to justify his own planned assault of Luthien with "well it's vengeance for Aredhel" when it's really mostly because he wants to fuck Luthien and get what he wants from Doriath.

Fourth, personally I doubt that Aredhel would be onboard with this. #1, she initially pleads mercy for Eol from Turgon (prior to their realizing he's poisoned her and therefore likely premeditated her and Maeglin's murders). If she was willing to show mercy even to the guy who abused her, it seems unlikely she'd want to see some random woman suffer for his wrongs. #2, I personally don't jive with the idea that Aredhel suffers an abusive marriage and then feels good about watching the same thing happen to another woman (who again, has no relationship to what happened to Aredhel).

I can and do in my Aredhel headcanons picture her brushing off a lot of Celegorm and her other male friends/acquaintances' grosser behavior towards women as "not that big a deal." It's not that Aredhel is required to be some girlpower/sisterhood champion, because I definitely don't see her that way. If she had never met Eol, I can easily see her handwaving Luthien's experience as "well nothing actually happened." However, I imagine her experience with Eol perhaps shifts her view on what she's willing to overlook from the men in her life and I do think she would be furious with Celegorm about what he meant to do (and even angrier if he tried to justify it with her name).

But also fifth, if you want to see Aredhel as someone who is so warped and angry that she wants other women to suffer what she suffered, that's not necessarily invalid. I'm sure there are people out there who feel that way and it's not impossible that Aredhel could see someone like Luthien and some part of her wants to see Luthien suffer just so Aredhel feels less alone in what happened to her, or something like that. Misery loves company, etc.

There's nothing inherently wrong with this interpretation of Aredhel as someone so jaded and bitter about what happened to her that she wishes bad things on other people.

But finally, none of these things excuse Celegorm's behavior. Whether he did it ~for Aredhel~ or not, whether Aredhel approved or not, it doesn't matter. That doesn't make it any less terrible. He still planned to force a woman to marry him and presumably rape her as part of it. Nothing can make that okay, and having the approval of a single female friend in this effort does not absolve him of what a horrible thing it was to do.

[starspray]

⭐ Director's commentary for Runes? I love that fic so much, Daeron is just so endearing and delightful in it, and the characterisation of Lúthien is also interesting.

General thoughts about Daeron & Lúthien's relationship are also welcome, if you feel like it!

Ooh, thanks for asking! That fic was really fun to write.

So, I wrote Runes for the SWG Breaking Boundaries challenge, where the prompt was to write about characters from different cultures meeting one another. I can't quite remember how I settled on Dwarves and Elves, but the relationship between Doriath and the Dwarves is so interesting to me, especially in the beginning--and the line that I used as an epigraph, about Daeron's runes and how the Dwarves appreciated them more than the Elves, was the launching point for this fic.

I brought Luthien in because I needed a reason for the Dwarves and Daeron to meet--Luthien realizing that they would benefit from Daeron's Cirth, and also knowing that he would greatly appreciate their appreciation--doing princess things, you know, bringing people together and working out what benefits everyone the most.

I wrote the characters the way I did because this story takes place during a time of peace and happiness for everyone, where they have the freedom to be kind of silly and just generally merry--y'know, like the tra la la lally Elves in Rivendell, but with even less to worry about. And then Daeron meets the Dwarves and they all just click because he's got a thing he's desperate to share, and they're extremely eager to learn stuff that will improve their own craft. I like to think they help him perfect the Cirth afterward, so the end result is more of a collaboration than just that an Elf made a thing and the Dwarves adopted it wholly as-is.

And my favorite Daeron & Luthien is them being best friends! Daeron acting as he does later, when Beren shows up, is a lot more interesting IMO if he's not acting out of romantic jealousy, but far more out of concern for her safety, and fear of what Beren's arrival means, and what lies outside of the Girdle. He's a powerful figure and I think he can sense the Doom that Beren brings with him. Not that Luthien can't, but Daeron has more of an outsider's POV to the situation--and also he's the court historian/minstrel, so his loyalties to Thingol as his king would be in conflict with his loyalty to Luthien as his friend, and clearly the former win out. And I think Luthien understands that, but he's still her first go-to when she needs help planning to go after Beren, and he's even the one she asks to make her the stuff she uses in the treehouse for her escape (is that bit only in the Lay? I can't quite remember, but I love it). I also HC that they grew up together as childhood friends, but I haven't worked out who Daeron's parents are or what happened to them.

[fuckingfinwions]

Groundhog day style timeloop

Celegorm has found his brother hot for a long time. He was jealous at Curufin's wedding, and hoped Curufin would be jealous of all his own lovers. The world would be disgusted if he went for it though, and more importantly their family would disapprove. Celegorm keeps his relationship to his little brother chaste for centuries.

Eventually though, he gives in. Celegorm starts with subtle overtures, deniable if only because no one expects him to act politely. He's shirtless because the castle is too warm. He leans in close because he's excited. He licks his fingers because the dinner was delicious and he doesn't care about manners.

He watches Curufin's reactions. Where Curufin's eyes linger, or turn sharply away. When Curufin leans into him for a moment.

Celegorm kisses Curufin a few months after he started flirting. It's somehow better than anyone Celegorm has kissed before. Curufin kisses back. They don't fuck that night; Curufin breaks away and says "I need to think this through."

But they fuck the next morning.

Curufin had approached Celegorm's rooms to give his answer. Celegorm figures that since he showed his hand last night, he might as well show everything else. He calls for Curufin to come in and latch the door behind him. Celegorm is naked on the bed. Curufin doesn't get very far into his speech - talking about how they have to keep it secret and has Celegorm thought this through, but not refusing - before he's on top of his brother, devouring his mouth and fondling his cock.

They are both lords of a castle at war though. They return to their responsibilities after a few hours.

Celegorm follows Curufin after dinner though, back to Curufin's rooms.

They fuck every night. They fit together perfectly, like two puzzle pieces, and yet every possible configuration fits just as well.

One morning, Celegorm wakes up in his own bed. Curufin isn't next to him, but maybe he had somewhere to be. Celegorm is in his own bed. He gets breakfast.

Pretty soon Celegorm realizes that it's fall, not spring. And from talking to others, he wasn't in a coma for half a year - this is before he woke up.

Celegorm realizes it's the same day he decided to pursue Curufin - or at least within a few, he didn't mark it on a calendar.

Celegorm tries to believe it was just a weird dream.

Celegorm repeats the same strategy for flirting with Curufin. A little faster, as Curufin's reactions match the "dream" but not much.

Again Celegorm kisses Curufin, and can finally have the one pleasurehe's denied himself. Again Curufin asks for time to think. Again Celegorm lets him, and greets him in the morning.

When Curufin asks, "How can you be so sure?" Celegorm answers "I had a vision it would work out." This leads to further questions, as Celegorm has not previously had foresight. But Curufin accepts that explanation.

A week later, Celegorm wakes up alone. He can smell rotting leaves in the autumn air, rather than daffodils he went to sleep to.

Celegorm decides to say nothing.

Obviously this is a sign, and as blasphemous as he is, he's not stupid. If the Valar are punishing him, he won't get out of it by charging ahead full speed.

Celegorm waits and watches. After five years, the mountains burn. He and Curufin and Celebrimbor survive to flee south, but a lot of people don't. Celegorm still says nothing.

They stay with Finrod, until Finrod leaves to follow a Man to his death. A literal half-goddess comes to the city, and finally Celegorm finds someone nearly as enthralling as Curufin. She rejects him though, and steals his best friend, and soon the whole city hates him.

Celegorm and Curufin flee alone. Curufin is hanging on by a thread, and Celegorm admits his love to give Curufin something to hold onto. Celegorm sweet talks Curufin into fucking him anyway under the edge of Doriath, under the eaves of the great forest.

Celegorm wakes up in his bed in autumn years ago.

He tells Curufin everything that happened. Curufin doesn't believe it. Curufin refuses to be seduced by Celegorm, if Celegorm is just doing it because he thinks they have to. (Celegorm has never in his life done something because someone told him he had to.)

Curufin believes when the mountains burst into flame. He demands Celegorm tell him again what happened, though Celegorm doesn't recall all the details of the politics.

When the Man comes to Nargothrond, Curufin insists that this time they can make it work. Maybe they can talk Finrod around - they can't. Maybe they can persuade Luthien, or trap her - she still escapes.

Curufin begs, "Don't make me wait for my son to hate me. We both know it's just a matter of time before he tells me so. I can't keep going knowing I'm going to fail."

Celegorm and Curufin fuck in all three positions they used on Celegorm's last night with his lover before. Curufin wakes each morning in despair. By the end of the week, he's resigned, but mostly enjoying the sex.

Celegorm wakes up in his bed in Himlad in the autumn the next morning.

One where Celegorm doesn't give Curufin time to think, but other wise does the same seduction as the first time. Curufin agrees in a matter of minutes (while Celegorm is groping him)

One where Celegorm kisses him the first day, and explains nothing, and the whole loop is less than two weeks.

One where Celegorm tells Curufin the truth about the loops after they have sex. "So I won't remember this? Why not just drug me and fuck me in my sleep, if you don't care what I think?" "I do care what you think, I want to know so maybe next time we can live together."

One in which Celegorm tries to get the whole city to evacuate before the Bragollach but Curufin won't listen, not until it's far too late. Celegorm and him share one night on the mad journey south, amid the smoke and the ash where they can pretend it doesn't matter, and Celegorm loops before they reach safety.

One in which Celegorm tries again to get Himlad to evacuate, but first gags Curufin and ties him up in the cupboard. "My brother has already gone to Nargothrond to alert Finrod. We're moving." Curufin gets out before the city is packed, unfortunately. It takes annoyingly long years for Curufin to trust his brother enough to fuck him.

Next one where Celegorm realizes that he can apparently keep Curufin tied up for three days, and no one will investigate. He seduces Curufin as per standard, talks him into ropeplay on day four, and doesn't let him out. Celegorm doesn't like CUrufin saying he wishes Celegorm would die and he's an evil monster, but he knows Curufin will forget it soon enough.

One where Celegorm starts things with Curufin by waking him up with a blowjob.

One where Celegorm tries to get a threesome with Curufin and a random elven soldier.

One where Celegorm collapses crying in Curufin's arms on day six after they get together.

One where Celegorm goes out in the wilderness and hunts for a year, then seduces Curufin.

One where Celegorm goes out hunting the day of the Bragollach. It goes worse. The city doesn't evacuate properly; Curufin sends valuable warriors off into the wilderness to search for Celegorm. Celebrimbor ends up maimed and with lungs full of ash and weaker by the day. Celegorm goes to Curufin, and offers physical comfort. Curufin refuses at first, then comes back. Curufin is rough. He only does it once. Celegorm resets the day after his nephew dies.

The next one where Celegorm can't look his brother in the eye for a long time, and Curufin misreads it as attraction. Curufin initiates things with Celegorm this round.

One where on day five, Celegorm slaughters everyone who ever annoyed him.

One where Celegorm doesn't ask at all, doesn't initiate with a questioning kiss. His hands is already down Curufin's pants when his lips are on Curufin's neck. Curufin flinches, but Celegorm says "I know you like this."

One where Celegorm seduces Curufin with the promise it can be just one night

One where Celegorm gets them both roaring drunk and then fucks Curufin

One where Celegorm head out in the wilderness, and then west. All the way west to Hithlum, not that anyone knows. There are reports that the High King was killed by an orcs, here's the poisoned orcish arrow that way in his eye! "I've regained the throne for our family, for doesn't Maedhros rule Fingon by their bond?" "I don't think that's how mates work." "No? Then let's test it." And Celegorm kisses Curufin.

One where Celegorm does the same thing, but tells Curufin they ought to have their first time after Maedhros is acknowledged as king, or at least king consort. So get cracking on the scheming, little brother. (Even though Celegorm knows any sacrifices Curufin makes will be void a week after the coronation.)

One where Celegorm tells a brief lie in Himlad, then rides off with Curufin for brotherly bonding. An afternoon ride turns into Curufin as his prisoner and fucktoy for a week.

Same as above but Celegorm does it during the Bragollach and tells Curufin everyone else is probably dead. (This is the time when Celegorm finds out that the loop resets if he dies; Curufin is not happy about abandoning his son to death/torture.)

The next one, where Celegorm is angry at Curufin and rapes him in revenge. He doesn't bother to flee, and cooperates with the guards who throw him in a cell. Trying the lord of the city in court will take longer than a week.

One where Celegorm seduces Curufin nicely, then kisses him in the great hall the next day. People are disgusted and Curufin feels betrayed, but Celegorm has his fun.

One where Celegorm waits and bides his time, and seduces the day before Maedhros is coming for a visit. He always wondered which of them would win in a fight if neither of them held back. Forcing Maedhros into his bed should be enough to get him to take this seriously.

One where Celegorm tries waxplay with Curufin.

One where Celegorm tells Curufin he'll only sleep with him if Curufin makes him elaborate piercings, and puts them on Celegorm personally.

One where Celegorm asks Curufin to wear a plug for five days straight, with the promise Celegorm will next.

One where Celegorm tries out the more extreme stuff. He always wondered what it would be like to fuck someone as they died.

One where Celegorm doesn't touch Curufin with anything but his fingers and his mouth, in hopes that it won't count. He still wakes up alone in the autumn after a week.

One where Celegorm does his best to drive Curufin out of his mind with pleasure and gentle touches.

One where Celegorm threatens to hurt Celebrimbor unless Curufin pleasures him.

One where he swaps all of Curufin's sheets for silk before their first night.

[roselightfairy]

In light of @quarantinedwanderer‘s recent posts and some other great Thranduil stuff I’ve seen floating around lately, I have a headcanon I’d like to contribute. I have only vague familiarity with Silm stuff, but I was revisiting the Melian bits awhile ago and realized: Melian was keeping Doriath safe using her magic girdle. Thranduil lived in Doriath when it fell. Ergo, Thranduil presumably has memories of her leaving Doriath, abandoning her protection and her people, after Thingol’s death.

I’ve seen some conversation lately about this, and I tend to agree that it’s at very least implied that Thranduil too has some sort of semi-magical enchantment on Mirkwood (the enchanted river, the almost hallucinogenic visions the dwarves see, the elf-party vanishing in an instant). I don’t know if it’s specifically tied to him or not but I love to think of him as the anchor point of the wood, particularly as it becomes more and more threatened with Sauron as a next-door neighbor. And all of this just makes me think of Melian.

First, there’s the fact that Thranduil’s protection does not come from a ring of power. Whatever it is in Mirkwood, it’s presumably tied to the forest itself, the elves within it, some kind of mystical bond that forms there. How must Thranduil feel, being aware that Lothlorien is protected by some force beyond that? Is he distrustful of it, and of Galadriel who wields it? (Extra good because Galadriel and Melian were friends, so there’s that association there.) But then there’s also such a great possibility for abandonment trauma, the feeling of betrayal and anger at a leader who could leave people vulnerable like that. And if he does (as I like to headcanon) become the anchor point for Mirkwood itself - how must he feel knowing that he too bears that same responsibility? How must he weigh and calculate his own losses, knowing he cannot allow them to drive him to the same point of abandonment? His losses, his emotions, are no longer just his - the fate of a people depends on them, a people he has to love more than his own family, his own individual points of care, in order not to abandon them.

There are a lot of reasons I find Thranduil a very tricky character to pin down, some of which are tied to inconsistency of representation in the book/movies/fanon - but I feel like this goes some way towards understanding them: how he can be a merry laughing king with his people but perhaps a complicated father at times, how he must be able to compartmentalize the many different losses and traumas he has faced in his life and the potential burden of responsibility; his deep suspicion of intruders but his lack of desire for war. (Part of the reason I give him two children is as a way of dealing with these inconsistencies and incorporating them both into how I write him.) But I wonder how an analysis of his experience of Doriath - and specifically Melian’s departure - must shape how he is as a leader in his own right.

[runawaymun]

🗡️&⚓, if you please!

🗡️ Defend your favorite war criminal (or make them worse - I'm not your mom)

I'm a Maedhros apologist for so many reasons. Chief of which is because I love him. But in all seriousness, while he is a war criminal and he is a mass-murderer, I think out of all the The Sons of Fëanor, he displayed the most restraint and regret.

Like sure the narrative tells us that Maglor deeply regretted his actions explicitly -- but he comes late to that realization after the end of the third kinslaying. Out of all the sons, Maedhros props up my idea that the Oath is something Eldritch and Outside of Them -- a compelling Force (which doesn't absolve them of their actions, but does explain things a lot) the most. He seeks the peaceful, least-violent solutions first, nearly every time.

Maedhros didn't participate in the burning of the ships.

Maedhros repeatedly tries to protect others at risk to himself - taking up the most dangerous/at-conflict lands in Himring, and trying end the conflict with Morgoth with the least bloodshed possible - at risk of his own life by going to treat with Morgoth. Is this his smartest move? No. Is it perhaps his most selfless? IMO yeah. I'm sure he knew he was walking into a trap, but he was offered an opportunity to end things with the least amount of bloodshed and risk to others, so he took it.

Maedhros does a lot of political (and familial) work in healing all the division his father caused over the Silmarils via the Union of Maedhros, but is happy not to be in charge and doesn't seem to need/want recognition. He doesn't have a huge ego. He relinquishes kingship to Fingolfin even though his brothers don't want him to.

The second he felt that his brothers might cause conflicts with others, he moved them out of Hithlum.

Celegorm had to convince Maedhros to attack Doriath. This was after Maedhros attempted to simply ask Dior to hand over the Silmaril - Dior may have inherited the Silmaril from Beren & Luthien, but IMO stolen property, even inherited, is still stolen property. Does this justify the sack of Doriath? No. But I personally do not believe that Dior had any moral right to the Silmaril either. Maedhros was well within his rights to ask for it, and while I understand completely why nobody handed it over, and the Oath may have compelled kinslaying anyway due to the "he who hideth/hoardeth/in hand taketh etc etc" clause -- Maedhros still asked first. and IMO that's a sign of, again -- the fact that he seeks out peaceful solutions first. And it was only after the Oath had awoken and after a great deal of "stirring" from Celegorm that Maedhros agreed to launch an assault.

Maedhros canonically hated what happened to Elured & Elurin. It was done without his knowledge and he also canonically tried to save them.

In a repeat of what happened at Doriath: Maedhros sent messages to Sirion first, and while again -- I don't blame Elwing for withholding the Silmaril because nobody at Sirion had any reason to believe that M&M wouldn't take the Silmaril and kill them anyway (especially after Doriath) -- he still tried. And it was only after they refused to hand it over and the Oath was awoken & in some versions of the tale the Ambarussa urged him that they launched an assault on Sirion.

Maedhros doesn't send anyone else on the fool's errand to try and retrieve the last two Silmarils. He goes alone with Maglor. There is no assault. No battle. He does it in secrecy and kills the least amount of people he possibly can. It really feels to me like the goal was to sate the Oath/save his family from eternal darkness with the least amount of bloodshed possible.

⚓ Pick a Silm ship to go down with. What is compelling about their dynamic?

I'm gonna have to go with Brimbrond, obviously. I love me some Russingon and some Gilrond but I just am clenching Brimbrond in my fists. They're so good. And the tragic end makes it better for me because Elrond's the one Gil-Galad sends to liberate Eregion and he fails. And when you add in the ship background it makes it even worse. Just...the THEMES. THE THEMES.

Elrond and Celebrimbor are both friendship-focused and people-oriented.

If you're a kidnap fam stan then they have a lot of bonding to do over stories of M&M. In my head, Elrond has to deal with a lot of weird/rocky political fallout due to being a "Feanorian fosterling" -- people are mistrustful at first. And he has to deal with his complicated feelings about M&M and like, no actually, he doesn't hate them -- which no one else seems to understand. But Celebrimbor would.

Both have to deal with the crushing weight of family legacy & trying to forge their own path & in a way choose their mother-names over their fathers' legacies. Celebrimbor chooses to go by Telperinquar rather than Curufinwe III. Elrond chooses "Peredhel" over "Earendillion"

Something something echoes of Elrond's attachment to "silver" lovers who meet untimely and horrible ends thanks to Sauron.

there's more here because I could ramble about them for ages but I just really love them together.

silm ask meme

[absynthe--minded]

Beren, the Nauglamír, and Editorial Oversight

this is gonna be a long one, guys.

so one of the things that makes Christopher Tolkien’s contributions to the greater legacy of the Tolkien Legendarium so complex is that he, as the posthumous editor of his father’s works, essentially was able to declare what is or isn’t “canon” in a way that no amount of scholarship (fannish or professional) will be able to truly successfully challenge. it’s his vision of Arda that was published as the Silmarillion, and his interpretations of the Professor’s works that have come to act as the standard and the baseline. after all, the Silm’s been traditionally published and translated into many languages; it’s far more accessible than out-of-print/print-on-demand copies of the History, and reading it doesn’t require you to slog through pages and pages of commentary or to have a good solid understanding of what the story is so you can follow along with lists of bullet points outlining events timeline-style.

of course, Chris also made mistakes, and those mistakes became enshrined in canon just as surely as anything else. I and many others have discussed the Gil-galad problem (namely, that Gil-galad’s parentage is oblique and strange at best and downright contradictory at worst, and Christopher’s choice to make him Fingon’s son was an admitted error) but it’s not the only case of a decision later proving to be the wrong one.

with that background, let’s talk about Beren.

Beren and Lúthien are in an unusual position in the Legendarium as a whole. Not only are they the sole author-insert characters, they’re also uniquely positioned as moral compasses - every other person in the Silm is morally ambiguous to some degree, or does bad or questionable things; not so with these two. If Beren or Lúthien does something, it’s explicitly the right thing to do, and this is confirmed by the narrative. If someone else opposes them, that is the wrong course of action. They’re not merely protagonists who make a lot of good choices, they’re good people, and the things they do are right because of their moral fiber and nobility. Of the active agents who are developed to any great degree, they’re the least complex and the most clear-cut, and the narrative itself treats them differently from other characters, validating them and framing them as the sort of spotless heroes that are in short supply in this Age.

This characterization runs headlong into the actions Beren takes in early drafts of the story and in the published Silm, where after dwarves kill Thingol and sack Menegroth, Beren (with the help of some allies, usually either Green-elves or Ents) ambushes them and duels the Lord of Nogrod for possession of the Nauglamír, a necklace originally owned by Finrod in Nargothrond that Húrin brought to Doriath after his release from Angband. Thingol commissioned dwarven artisans to alter the piece and create a setting in it for the Silmaril that Beren and Lúthien had won for him from Morgoth, and there was a dispute about payment that escalated to violence and ended in his death at dwarvish hands. The battle, later called the Battle of the Thousand Caves, was more or less a victory for dwarvish forces, as they escaped both with the Nauglamír and several other treasures from Menegroth and they defeated Sindarin forces that set out to stop them.

In most versions of the story, Melian sends Mablung to Ossiriand to warn Beren and Lúthien of what’s happened, and essentially asks them to do something to stop the retreating dwarvish forces from reaching Nogrod, where they came from. Beren does this, killing the Lord of Nogrod himself and taking the Nauglamír and the Silmaril home to Lúthien, who then gives it to Dior, who takes it back to Doriath when he takes the throne there. This is the version of the tale that’s in the published Silmarillion, and the one that’s consistent throughout the earlier drafts that Tolkien himself wrote.

But it’s not the only version that exists.

In The War of the Jewels, which compiles versions of the story written late in Tolkien’s life, we find The Tale of Years. This is not a cohesive narrative, instead functioning (like many of the writings that make up the bulk of the History of Middle-Earth) rather like a series of bullet points mentioning and summarizing key events. It progresses chronologically, giving a sense of passing time and organization to the First Age, and it has this to say about the Nauglamír and the battle at Sarn Athrad:

“The Dwarves of Belegost and Nogrod invade Doriath. King Elu Thingol is slain and his realm ended. Melian escapes and carries away the Nauglamír and the Silmaril, and brings them to Beren and Lúthien. She then forsook Middle-earth and returned to Valinor.

Curufin and Celegorm, hearing of the sack of Menegroth, ambushed the Dwarves at the Fords of Ascar as they sought to carry off the Dragon-gold to the mountains. The Dwarves were defeated with great loss, but they cast the gold into the river, which was therefore after named Rathlóriel. Great was the anger of the sons of Fëanor to discover that the Silmaril was not with the Dwarves; but they dared not to assail Lúthien. Dior goes to Doriath and endeavours to recover the realm of Thingol.”

(This quote is taken from the latest and typed version of the Tale of Years, an earlier handwritten version exists that is shorter but includes the same relevant details.)

Christopher Tolkien elected not to use this version of events, instead choosing to maintain the earlier tale where Beren had an active role; he was never truly satisfied with this, or with the Ruin of Doriath as a whole. In the commentary to the Tale of Years he wrote that “It seemed at that time that there were elements inherent in the story of the Ruin of Doriath as it stood that were radically incompatible with ‘The Silmarillion’ as projected, and that there was here an inescapable choice: either to abandon that conception, or else to alter the story. I think now that this was a mistaken view, and that the undoubted difficulties could have been, and should have been, surmounted without so far overstepping the bounds of the editorial function.” We have, for a second time, an admission of error, though unlike the Gil-galad question there is not a specific choice singled out as a flaw.

Why am I talking about this? Well, simply, I think that the version of the story where Celegorm and Curufin attack the Dwarvish host is the one that makes the most sense, and I’m here to make my case for its adoption as fanon. I’m not trying to take a purely scholarly view - I can’t prove that Tolkien’s true vision was for this version of the text, and of course it’s only in the one draft - but as a fandom we’ve reached the consensus before that specific versions of the story are preferred, even when they only appear in a single draft (Amrod’s death at Losgar stands out as the best example).

So here’s my argument. 

1. Beren is not a violent man, and having him act as a murderer is out of character.

This one is pretty simple - Beren is an outlaw fighting against Sauron, a defender of his family’s land, a nobleman in his own right, and a vegetarian who is keenly aware of what it is to be hunted and pursued. The man we’re introduced to in the other versions of the story is not someone who would answer violence with violence unless there was no other choice, and in fact he becomes less violent as the story goes on. Putting him in a position where he’s acting militarily against the Dwarves introduces elements to his character that simply don’t exist before this story. It’s inconsistent, and it also ends his life on a strange, sour note - he’s not an uncomplicated hero anymore, he’s also got blood on his hands.

2. Beren is one of the moral compasses of the Silmarillion, and having him be the one to spearhead the ambush of the Dwarves frames that act of violence in a very troubling light.

Like I said above, Beren and Lúthien are good people who do good things, and those things are good because of who’s doing them. If Beren kills the Dwarves and the Lord of Nogrod, that act becomes justifiable, and perhaps even the right thing to do, simply due to the fact that one of the two true heroes of the First Age is doing it. The narrative never frames this as a downfall or a moral event horizon for Beren, either - he made the correct decision and the consequences that come afterward aren’t things that can be blamed on him. But wholesale slaughter, even slaughter of people who do bad things, is not something Tolkien ever condones or paints in a truly positive light, so it makes more sense for it to come at the hands of people who aren’t solely positive forces. It’s thematically in line with what Tolkien does through the rest of the text, and it feels more like Arda, at least to me. I think an argument could be made that Tolkien realized that making Celegorm and Curufin the responsible party would achieve this end, and that’s why this version exists in the first place, but there’s no proof of it.

3. The Laiquendi are nonviolent, and it makes no sense for them to be involved in this fight. The Ents being involved at all is somewhat nonsensical based on what we know of them in The Lord of the Rings.

Another simple one - we don’t know much about the Laiquendi, but we know they’re not really keen on warfare or on any undue violence, so having them be Beren’s backup is a weird divergence from their presentation in the rest of the Legendarium. And the Ents are pretty universally depicted as uninvested in the wars of the incarnates, only taking action against Saruman when it becomes apparent they have no other choice - why should they care about Thingol’s death, or care enough to murder dwarves?

4. Melian’s actions make far more sense in a version of the story where she doesn’t merely abandon Doriath once she realizes Thingol is dead.

If Menegroth is already sacked, and she cannot hold the realm together on her own as its Queen without really fucking shit up with reality-warping shadow magic, her choice to abandon it after delivering the Silmaril safely to her daughter and warning her that Dior will be needed soon is far less irresponsible.

5. Celegorm and Curufin ambushing the dwarves makes more sense than any other alternative.

Of course Celegorm and Curufin were actively watching Doriath for any sign of weakness. Of course they noticed the dwarves leaving with stolen treasures, and heard rumors that Thingol was dead and his killers had the Silmaril. Given the choice of following Melian (if they even were aware of Melian’s departure) and following dwarves, of course they picked the dwarves. Their ambush and attack and slaughter is consistent with their past behavior, as is their refusal to attack Lúthien because they were scared as fuck of her.

What’s more, this also explains the Fëanorians’ refusal to attack Doriath immediately after the dwarves do - they were unsure of whether or not Lúthien was in Menegroth and ruling as its queen or acting in some capacity as Dior’s defender. Celegorm in particular isn’t the type to hesitate - he’s impulsive, and rash, and rushes into bad decisions without considering their consequences, it’s even in his name. But they waited for years, giving Dior time to marry and have children of his own, and then even sent letters rather than attack directly - and yes, some of this might have been Maedhros’s influence, or an attempt by all of them to stave off the Oath, but it’s also plausible that they were trying to figure out whether or not they’d have to take on the same woman who made fools of them before.

I, at least, think this version of the story makes the most sense, and I’ll be adopting it into my personal canon. I obviously think it’s worth advocating for on a larger scale, and I hope I’ve made a good argument for its widespread adoption.

[thistleking]

OH ALSO continuing my thoughts about how im trans and get to pick my bad trans rep, ive recently settled on trans!caranthir. am i working out aspects of my own life by projecting it onto fictional characters? yes!

i was thinking about how sometimes you dont notice something until it's absence and that the halls of mandos are essentially mandatory therapy until youre okay enough to go back out into the world. and like, how elves have to contend with their legacies in middle earth after they've sailed/died. everyone else knows a version of them that they simply arent anymore! so. caranthir's egg cracks in mandos when she realizes that she actually had some problems with her body precisely because she doesnt have a body to be dysphoric about.

idk i just like picking a theme and sticking it on a character. caranthir is my "the legacy you leave behind only reflects a very small portion of your life, and a portion that you actually hated" character. it ties into the oc wife and kid i made. othlachwinn is sindar and died (along with their daughter fainveril) trying to seek refuge in doriath after the dagor bragollach. they weren't recorded in the histories cuz it's a Bad Look for the sindar and gives the feanorians motivations for sacking menegroth that are more sympathetic than the oath or celegorm and curufins grudge against beren and luthien. grief motivated revenge still isnt GOOD, and it definitely wasnt even a main factor for the attack, but it complicates things. its hard to paint people as Always Being Evil when theyre capable of love and grief

just like. you cant control what other people think of you, and as a trans man it feels Kinda Weird that theres a LOT of people out there who dont know that i transitioned. their idea of me is of a girl/woman that i am not. i wanna play around with this in conjunction to elves and immortality. you leave behind a legacy but can still eventually meet people who only know of you through reputation because they werent even born yet when you died.

[nikosheba]

The Mystery of the Vanishing Elf

First of all, this is not my meta; I’m posting this on behalf of Azh, who wrote it and wanted it on tumblr. (They did say I could take credit for bothering them to write it, and for helping kick around ideas, so I will :D)

Link to the meta on AO3

[all page numbers from the 2007 HarperCollins edition of The Children of Húrin, ISBN 978 0 00 724622 9]

Thanks to starlightwalking for beta-ing!

So I just finished reading the Children of Húrin—which, let’s be honest, I was mostly reading to get the expanded version of the Túrin and Beleg content.  So at first when I started reading the second half — after Beleg’s death — I figured the reason I was less drawn to the text was because, well, Beleg was dead and therefore was less present in the narrative.  After I’d finished the book and put it down, though, I realized it was a little more than that.  Beleg wasn’t just less present. He was completely absent. This is no exaggeration: between the last mention of Beleg’s name in Chapter IX (“The Death of Beleg”) and Túrin’s death, when Gurthang asks to forget the “blood of Beleg my master” there is a single mention of his name, and it’s only a passing description of Gurthang itself as “the Black Sword of Beleg” (pg. 237).

Túrin never says his name again.

What’s going on here?  This is, quite frankly, bizarre. The entire first half of the narrative pivots around the relationship between Túrin and Beleg.  Beleg is the one who finds Túrin when he’s just a child his mother is sending to Thingol in Doriath. Beleg is his friend when’s growing up on Doriath — one of two really mentioned, the other being Nellas — and when Túrin is grown and goes off to be with the marchwardens, “Beleg and Túrin were companions in every peril” (pg 86).  When Thingol and Mablung and everyone else are ready to assume the worst of Túrin, it’s Beleg who shows up with Nellas to tell them what really happened, and it’s notable that this means Beleg didn’t see what happened; he just implicitly trusted Túrin and was the only one to do so.  They care about each other a lot. There is a brief portion of time while Túrin is with the outlaws that they aren’t together (that’s a whole nother post in itself) but Beleg returns to Túrin on Amon Rudh, “in this way, Beleg came back to Túrin, yielding to his love against his wisdom.  Túrin was glad indeed, for he had often regretted his stubbornness; and now the desire of his heart was granted…it seemed to [the outlaws] there had been a tryst between Beleg and their caption.” (pg 139).  These boys are in love. It’s textual.  There’s only one other character Túrin is described as loving in a similar way, and it’s Níniel (Niënor), whom he marries.

In fact, it’s staggering that Níniel is the only other one (pg 218 “Turambar restrained himself no longer, but asked her in marriage”), because there is a very big elephant in the room, and it’s the person whom Níniel is occasionally compared to, Finduilas.  Finduilas is mentioned three times in the text after her death, including twice by Túrin himself in direct quotations:

- “Then Turambar who led the men started back and covered his eyes, and trembled; for it seemed that he saw the wraith of a slain maiden that lay on the grave of Finduilas.” (pg. 214, when Túrin first finds Níniel)

- "But even as he spoke, he wondered, and mused in his mind: 'Or can it be that one so evil and fell shuns the Crossings, even as the Orcs? Haudh-en-Elleth! Does Finduilas lie still between me and my doom?’” (pg. 229, when Túrin is preparing to fight Glaurung for the last time),

- “Therefore he arose and went to the Crossings of Teiglin, and as he passed by Haudh-en-Elleth he cried: 'Bitterly have I paid, O Finduilas! that ever I gave heed to the Dragon. Send me now counsel!’” (pg. 253, after he’s killed Brandir and is desperately trying to deny that Níniel was Niënor, his sister)

This is huge. And it’s huge, because Túrin is not in love with Finduilas. This, again, is explicit, and textual, "In truth Finduilas was torn in mind. For she honoured Gwindor and pitied him, and wished not to add one tear to his suffering; but against her will her love for Turin grew day by day, and she thought of Beren and Luthien. But Turin was not like Beren! He did not scorn her, and was glad in her company; yet she knew that he had no love of the kind she wished. His mind and heart were elsewhere, by rivers in springs long past.” (pg 166, ”Túrin in Nargothrond”). So.  Túrin never falls in love with Finduilas, and, in fact, the reason he doesn’t fall in love with her is that his “mind and heart are elsewhere”.  Hmmmm. I wonder where his heart is?

Okay, so then why is it that Túrin repeatedly refers to Finduilas but not to Beleg?  It’s really obvious based on the quotes I’ve given so far that he was in love with Beleg (and for god’s sake, the man doesn’t talk for a YEAR after Beleg’s death), that he was not in love with Finduilas, and that he was (or thought he was, at least) in love with Níniel, enough to ask her to marry him.  So where the hell is Beleg in his thoughts for all this time when he’s falling for Níniel and thinking back to Finduilas?

For the answer to this, we need to consider the dual nature of Níniel’s relationship to Túrin, and what its source is.

Yes, Túrin loves Níniel, as his wife, but we know he also loved his sister Niënor, as a sister, and part of the reason he kills himself is that he can’t handle that he’s driven his sister to her death via incest (albeit accidental incest).  It’s notable that Túrin loves Finduilas as a sister,

“Then Turin spoke freely to [Finduilas] concerning these things, though he did not name the land of his birth, nor any of his kindred; and on a time he said to her: 'I had a sister, Lalaith, or so I named her; and of her you put me in mind. But Lalaith was a child, a yellow flower in the green grass of spring; and had she lived she would now, maybe, have become dimmed with grief. But you are queenly, and as a golden tree; I would I had a sister so fair.’” (pg. 164, “Túrin in Nargothrond”.)

So these references to Finduilas make a narrative kind of sense — in addition to it mostly happening as Túrin is passing her grave, it’s a textual reminder of a hidden truth: Níniel is not just Túrin’s lover, but also his sister.  He even finds her upon the grave of someone he loved as a sister.  But there’s another truth hidden in the text as well, and it’s related to Níniel’s nature as Túrin’s lover.  Because let’s be real, if he found her on the grave of someone he loved very firmly in a non-romantic way, why does he become romantically interested in her?  She’s his sister—obviously he doesn’t know that, but the narrative is saying it very, very clearly.  Well…there’s a confounding factor.

Here’s how Túrin finds Níniel (pg. 214): “Now it chanced that some of the woodmen of Brethil came by in that hour from a foray against Orcs, hastening over the Crossings of Teiglin to a shelter that was near; and there came a great flash of lightning, so that the Haudh-en-Elleth was lit as with a white flame.”

And here is how Túrin discovers that he has killed Beleg (pg. 155): “But as he stood, finding himself free, and ready to sell his life dearly against imagined foes, there came a great flash of lightning above them, and in its light he looked down on Beleg's face.”

The narrative does draw a parallel between Níniel and Beleg, an extremely strong (if subtle) one.  It uses literally the same phrase to set up the scene: “there came a great flash of lightning”.  So there’s a pretty clear answer as to why Túrin might associate Níniel with romantic love—he doesn’t just find her on his as-it-were sister’s grave, he finds her in a way that hearkens strongly back to the last time he ever saw his lover’s face.

So why doesn’t he think of Beleg now?

Why is the thought of his lover—whose loss cut him so deeply he didn’t speak for a year—so far out of his mind at this moment that his name isn’t even mentioned, even when narratively there’s no way he shouldn’t think of him?

Okay, I’ve drawn this out enough, so let’s cut to the chase: Glaurung. Glaurung, who is responsible for the first hidden truth that I mentioned, the more textually explicit one, that Níniel is Niënor, Túrin’s sister.  He bespells Niënor upon Amon Ethir, “Then he drew her eyes into his, and her will swooned. And it seemed to her that the sun sickened and all became dim about her; and slowly a great darkness drew down on her and in that darkness there was emptiness; she knew nothing, and heard nothing, and remembered nothing,” (pg 209, “The Journey of Morwen and Niënor”) causing her to lose her memories and with her memories her name and therefore any way for Túrin to know who she is.  Glaurung earlier bespells Túrin as well, “Without fear Turin looked in those eyes as he raised up his sword; and straightway he fell under the dreadful spell of the dragon, and was as one turned to stone.” (pg. 178, “the Fall of Nargothrond”)  The first, obvious result of Glaurung’s spell (and the only explicit one) is that he leaves Finduilas and rushes off to try and find Morwen and Niënor.  Now, we’re meant to believe that this is all that the spell does, since in “The Return of Túrin to Dor-Lómin”, pg. 166, the text notes, “And suddenly a black wrath shook him; for his eyes were opened, and the spell of Glaurung loosed its last threads, and he knew the lies with which he had been cheated.”

But I don’t think this makes sense.  I think Tolkien is being poetical here and the “last threads” he’s talking about are specifically the lies about Finduilas.  A number of Túrin’s conversations with Níniel point towards the fact that he’s forgotten something really important and that in that regard the dragon’s spell is still intact.  For example, when Túrin tells Níniel what to call him (pgs 217-218, “Niënor in Brethil”):

“Then she paused as if listening for some echo; but she said: 'And what does that say, or is it just the name for you alone?'

“’It means,' said he, 'Master of the Dark Shadow. For I also, Niniel, had my darkness, in which dear things were lost; but now I have overcome it, I deem.’”

“My darkness” is eerily similar to the repeated motif of Níniel’s darkness, which explicitly refers to the spell cast on her by Glaurung.  

“Behind her lay only an empty darkness” (pg 213, “Niënor in Brethil”); “it seem to her that the darkness that lay behind her was overtaking her again” (pg 214, “Niënor in Brethil”); “it seemed to her that she had found at last something that she had sought in the darkness” (pg. 215, “Niënor in Brethil”); and the two most relevant quotations, “And at that name she looked up, and she shook her head, but said: 'Níniel.' And that was the first word that she spoke after her darkness, and it was her name among the woodmen ever after” (pg 216, ”Niënor in Brethil”); and “when at length she had learned enough to speak with her friends she would say: 'What is the name of this thing? For in my darkness I lost it.’” (pg. 217, “Niënor in Brethil”)

So here it is: Túrin has lost “dear things” in “his darkness” (Glaurung’s spell) and he thinks that Níniel is what he has lost, but she isn’t—or she isn’t the only thing that’s missing. Glaurung has ripped out of Túrin’s mind the memory of the only person he’s ever had romantic feelings for—Beleg—and because he’s confused and trying to find something to fill that gap, Níniel gets cast in a dual role—not just sister (with her ties to Finduilas) but also lover (with her subtler ties to poor, missing Beleg).  

This theory also has significant implications for Túrin’s death, since that’s the only time that Beleg is mentioned again, apart from a tangential sidenote.  When Mablung finally confirms to Túrin what he’s already beginning to fear is the truth, that Níniel was his sister Niënor, he runs up to the Cabed-en-Aras, from which Níniel has thrown herself, and he asks his sword to kill him. His sword is Gurthang, which was Anglachel, made by Eöl, the sword that Thingol gave to Beleg and that Túrin used to accidentally kill him, and the response is somewhat unexpected, since up till now we haven’t had any indication that it’s a talking sword,

“‘And from the blade rang a cold voice in answer: 'Yes, I will drink your blood, that I may forget the blood of Beleg my master…I will slay you swiftly.’” (pg. 256, “The Death of Túrin”)

Interestingly, this is after the sword has been reforged, and there’s no particular reason it should refer to Beleg as its master — after all, Túrin has been wielding it for years, and it was made by someone else entirely.  So then, why?  And why does it ask to forget his blood in particular?

Because Túrin has remembered, finally.  Whether the sword is picking up on the mood, whether it’s a narrative device, or whether it isn’t even really talking and it’s just Túrin’s mind playing tricks on him in his last extremis, I don’t know—though I favor the latter interpretation, particularly because Túrin himself is referred to as “the Black Sword” on numerous occasions.  But the important point here is Túrin has remembered, because Glaurung is dead, and his memory spells die with him, “Then Nienor sat as one stunned, but Glaurung died; and with his death the veil of his malice fell from her, and all her memory grew clearer before her, from day unto day, neither did she forget any of those things that had befallen her since she lay on Haudh-en-Elleth.” (pg. 243, “The Death of Glaurung”)

So Túrin knows by now exactly what he’s done—not only inadvertently marrying his sister but betraying the one great romantic love of his life.  The one he has probably just remembered accidentally killing in great detail.  It’s probably quite present in his mind when, rather than throw himself over the waterfall as Níniel did, he flings himself onto the very same sword that killed the only person he was ever in love with, whose name he has finally, finally been able to bring to mind…

In sum, Glaurung erases Beleg’s memory so thoroughly from Túrin’s mind that only tiny, hidden glimpses remain, even in the text.  This is the solution to the mystery of the vanishing Elf; it explains why Beleg vanishes right up until the very end, and it ties together the sense I had when I was reading the second half of something missing, something hidden, something incomplete.  It is, I imagine, the same way Túrin must have felt after he awoke—as he thought, completely—from the spell that Glaurung laid upon him the first time they fought.

[A/N: I also wrote a fic based on this premise: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28980519 ]