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#i just wanna make sure you guys know i care abt you even if im so bad at messaging
chiimeramanticore · 4 days
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#im not dead quit asking#I'm just really really really not doing well#sorry if i scared anyone. that wasnt my intent#things got. let's say worse. for me irl. more complicated for sure#i hate to publicize my breakdown I really do. but maybe i... need this? in a weird way?#i haven't really been adjusting well to having a platform online. that's not anyone's fault but mine ofc#i feel that my 'fans' (if ive earned the right to call them that) dont and frankly cant ever care for me as a person#i dont know you and you dont know me. you dont know all of me at least. just what i make public. what i allow others to see#i had it kinda bullied into me that i need to keep my mouth shut abt my own issues. and ive spent a lot of this year trying to unlearn that#maybe publicizing this is a bad idea anyway#I just know ive been more honest abt my emotions and my personal life with my friends and my partner#and not everyone enjoys it but i know I'm not like. traumadumping so i feel somewhat assured that anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt my life-#-probably wasnt all that interested in forming a close relationship w me to begin with. even if theyre friendly at first#everyone else; the people who I know care about me; have shown me that through their actions#my point is being honest abt how youre doing w other ppl is a good idea. revolutionary i know lol#and i still don't know a lot of you personally but#parasocial or not i got some very genuine sounding messages while I was gone. and i. feel really bad that i worried those people#I guess theres my proof that people would care if i disappeared suddenly. people would notice pretty quick it seems#im never gonna kms btw. even if i didnt have the support i have im simply too stubborn to die lol. to put it lightly#and to those who thought this was abt fandom drama: it's not. those who shall not be named are genuinely the least of my problems these days#I'm on a journey of self actualization. or something. im trying to get my shit together. im trying to stop being clinically depressed lol#but god keeps throwing wrenches in my plans and. i beat myself up about it too much#but that's just life. they say you make a plan and god laughs#im. trying to be okay with just riding the wave. im impatient but if i keep trying to somehow speed up time im just gonna exhaust myself#which I think is where im at now. burnt out#and on top of all that i still feel this need to like. perform for you guys#if i dont keep making content everyone will forget i exist. if i dont make another video essay this year can i even call myself a youtuber#etc etc. its the spiral its impostor syndrome we've all been there#im trying to end this on a positive note but idk. i dont have all the answers yet#hoping i figure it out soon. i hope you dont forget me in the meantime
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arolesbianism · 3 months
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GUYS.
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New dupe real! Also new pod????? Olivia is that you girlie speak to me
#rat rambles#oxygen not included#screenshots are from the steam page#there is ofc a Lot to unpack here gameplay wise and Im guessing some things will be tweaked design wise but Im lore pilled so.#anyways Im not sure how I feel abt this dupe's design but I will still welcome them with open arms hello#but more important here to me is the pod#because erm. thats a very very different looking pod.#I dont wanna jump to any conclusions or speculate too hard because chances are its just olivia getting new drip#but like. what if its not. what if this is like a new new printing pod#I assume that if it is a new pod then olivia will like be able to connect with it somehow but idk#because it rly depends on how ambitious theyd wanna be with this dlc given that to rly make a new pod thats super not olivia theyd have to#do a lot of work to make that change prevelant in the rest of the gameplay#now chances are if it is a new pod its one that doesn't have a human consciousness inside it#even if it was there rly arent many options for who it could be and no good options from a narrative standpoint#now this pod looks quite gutted so maybe it is just a normal printing pod that got kicked back online when olivia sent some guys to kick it#now heres the most negative thing Ill say abt these screenshots. the fox critters are rly ugly imo#I like the bunny guys tho WAUTWIATSWAUT WAIT#ARE THEY THE SAME SPECIES AS THE ANCIENT SPECIMEN SKELETON?#I dont think they line uo perfectly if I remember correctly but the big one has the same tusks and is also yknow big and fat like the#specimen is described to be in tbe story trait logs#Im willing to bet so much that theyre at least related in some way#maybe the one that was initially sent back in time was used as a basis for these guys or smth#my main reason for saying this is that I have to imagine these guys have to have some other purpose than being data storage#its seems that you can shave their coats which is probably the main thing but I imagine they probably drop a good amount of meat too#also important to note that they are grazers which is good to know#also I think the upside down plant is going to be this planet's muckroot equivalent#oh and for the fox deer I assume theyll be farmed for their antlers which will probably shed wood or smth#not a clue what the new plants will do but idrc#Ill care abt the gameplay after I get my new lore <3
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being alive at the time i gleaned some general elements abt encanto but never actually heard we don't talk about bruno beyond awareness it existed popping off & i think i heard like the title recited off key off rhythm but in a way that indicates speak singing nonetheless lol so upon experiencing it it's like oh but it's the Verses? while the last refrain goes harder but prior to that it's comparatively underwhelming to said verses which feels appropriate like verses / pieces of a larger picture & that a "we don't talk about him" as a disappointing Lid on infinitely richer more characterful & dynamic "but: talking about him" instances. like well personally it'd be like um seven foot frame....anyway besides being able to firsthand go like oh damn Real (the kind of thing you know exists if alive at the time) it's like alright hang on lol. one thing when a core theme is yeah like "is it a refuge if 'especial' vulnerability ultimately gets pushed out rather than made safer" subset like the parties whose even observation of truths (problems) & drawing attention to them is seen as Ruining Things, like if you're painted as Making futures that aren't simply what's desired or reassuring rather than a guidance via just observing & sharing the truth. but then it's like whaddaya mean living in fear of bruno stuttering and stumbling you could always hear him sort of muttering and mumbling lmao like now that's just Association between the Truth Perceiving & Telling behavior & behavior that's just apparently distinctive of the same person. & like Not Accidentally when [what if people were magic] specifics are obviously primarily abt a metaphorical meaning & like, indeed it was made clear like oh this situation isn't Just b/c [boo we hate your prophecies] & that [an Ability that isn't directed towards what anyone Wants / is "weird" even by these magic standards] isn't Coincidentally given to someone who just so happens to already be "weird" in other ways & be set up to have a different perspective & be pushed away due to having the supposed "extra" vulnerability of unmet needs / insufficient support, same as someone who doesn't "correctly" have any kind of magic ability....like yeah banger and also like Oh Yeah Kind Of Devastating re: that metaphorical resonance allowing for like [set the metaphor aside] now hang on with this about this disabled family member lol. misinterpretation to The Ruinerrr / The Problemmm / The Maliciousss etc (i.e. the scapegoatinggg) despite their efforts likely entirely to the contrary. then despite like, efforts aside, Just Existing, always kind of muttering & mumbling like & what of it. & then like oh sorry weird pets. weird [auspicious for adaptable tenacious thriving surviving; either way simply creatures, existing] pets.
truly like As Is The Idea I'm Sure quickly becomes like hands behind back standing at the window Uh Oh Sisters musing on all the [disabled person] metaphorical & already literal elements there. blair witching it in contemplation like We've All Been There whether being so resented for the mere disruption of "existing in a group as the 'abnormal' odd one out" or like people talking shit abt anything associated w/you as soon as you've left the room, which is also made relevant like, this wasn't Only directed at this person when seemingly permanently gone, nor were they unaware / unaffected prior....pacing in the Musing parlor like things don't Have to be compared to billions but i only ever even see so many things & it's like billions sure is like "get scapegoated rword" & then said scapegoating is presented as only beneficial & we hate autists & even beyond that it's like, grabbing billions, Imagine If Things Meant To Be About Something Were About Something. quite a contrast when they are & furthermore like, deliberate thought & Care for [who gets scapegoated & why] & the truth of like, people getting pushed aside & out who have a key perspective & are primed / liable to come through for others similarly vulnerable & the supposedly Ruinous, Problems Generating disruptiveness is actually the strongest effort to make essential changes to a group. & come through with like, it'd be undermining thee point if it was "reassuring" us like oh haha people will be supportive b/c bruno will be more normal, so great that it Didn't like no, no Normality Reassurance(tm), presence of abnormalities(tm), Good, & everyone Can Deal b/c if you don't then it's pushing this person away, is exactly what happens, including even if they're still Around but are being mistreated b/c that is entirely part of that pushing away like anyone's victim blaming is ready to pounce at any time but if someone can't stand to stay / leaves b/c they can't see another option like that's not out of nowhere nor Regardless of what full support & flexibility they were getting lol. these Active Measures everyone loves so much, which are everywhere always & would include Staying & Trying To Make It Work & those efforts would be "disruptive" & resented & Bringing It On Oneself & etccc smh
that is to all say like. Woww when clearly basically the core thread was these beats of like, the crucial site of [thee scapegoated], & why that comes down on someone & how that plays out. endless ideas about how someone weird(tm) & disabled (&/or queer. but there's no Or here lol. & again like it's a Context like, to even be the one person without kids? likely not living up to "full" correct sexuality in that way alone; any oppression's logics of "inferiority" being logics of ableism, ready examples being that "inferior" race, gender, sexuality (& their experiences as people classed as inferior) all being pathologized as disordered) are seen & treated as someone Ruining Things & who cannot belong like whew. bracing. winding. which, i also recall like i was watching with headphones & during this one dialogue pause i was like "?? what's this Extra Sound i heard there" & had to go over it like twice before being hit upside the head like well it Was still the dialogue pause but it was also bruno Stuttering in a very quiet whisper for the duration of that pause before continuing like iiiiiiii x_x
#[sitting waiting right here] for billions to have its vulnerable weird scapegoated misfit outcasts actually band together lmao....#like Sure Doesn't b/c billions is like we all hate weirdos & we all love telling them to shut tf up & go away to die or w/e. correctly#can't believe ultimately the Different fund disappears w/o its scapegoat & the Correct ''weird'' char is full axe cap mode finally#& it's sure not a Comment when billions affectionately gives them their free heavenly reward & Ensure zero scapegoating consequences#the [imagine if something about something was about something] approach to Banished Relatives being thoughtful & loving like#& here you see how even As they're banished everything isn't Really fixed for it incl. that people aren't Really just happy he's gone#billions is like no we killed him And everyone has gladly & legitimately forgotten he exists (save the instant it's time to use him)#the hilarious(tm) tragedies surrounding rian like billions' can't make her ''care'' abt winston be anything save more violence#can't pretend rian was anything more than [again we all Know your nads like w/taylor like w/winston] bagina + dialogue source combo in s6#when it's still dimly relevant for prince in s7 but you miss Nothing re: rian if you have no idea that plotline exists#& speaking of actual ''weirdness'' rian was never allowed to have: the tragedy of the tension of Closeted Transness present on screen fr#just as billions has no idea / further willingness to let rian be so ''weird'' as to actually care abt winston or abt not being a bully Lol#meanwhile i figured like oh i'll like a scapegoat. did know ahead of time like bruno's just some guy; not even ''redeemable'' antagonist#but In Practice & w/all that beloved Disabledness & crucial appreciation like you Need this guy; the understanding is Key#like well ofc i would kill for him. ofc just constant like mhm go off king slay fire etc. god tier character cherished forever thanks#but then also like im sure a zillion [intention; inspiration; thoughts] going into Tfw Family Things characters; a zillion interpretions &#thoughts to follow like it truly is Arresting like this clarity on A Disabled Person In The Group like. much much to consider & whew.#reference point like when autistic ppl in some job see an obvious [problem to future mess] pipeline; so you know bruno madrigal. My Vision#When You're So Hated like hey i wanna live unseen w/my so hated little friends lol. just reread how to disappear completely never be found#when it's like grabbing people Who Cares if someone's being ''obviously'' disabled or weird just as how they are existing godddd#people get so mean like Who Cares just talk to them; be around them. some effort some mind your own business some You're Not Above Them#when it's obviously You like yeah. nonzero but limited applicability like [specifically my own nuclear family] but re: Weird; Disabled#as ever i'll Relate & be like but i probably seem nothing like that. or maybe i am very much like that. kind of difficult to tell b/c like#you Do get the disinterest lol & feedback is Not that familiar / in depth even if positive like well. the emergent So Hated / Scapegoating#noting like if a character just seems refreshingly familiar; Understood; comfortable; fun; what's the odds they're cishet allistic lol....#anyway the epiphany like oh it was figurative blink & you miss it stuttering....did [waiiit] Pace that one off like inhaaale Waugh#in fact i'm sure the Verbalizing Effort has staved off the kind of [thinks about all of it a moment] to go Aauughhh about again#which; again; also something happening 5 yrs in re: the clairvoyant soothsayer autistic neuroqueer quant on the show w/No Thoughts abt it#ppl being invalidated by others having to validate themselves (& others in the same boat); billions going & How We Hate Them For It lol#oh & encanto's [excluded party's effort to partake] tragedy vs billions' [where's winston in this office? this event?] good riddance idc
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dawnofdeathh · 3 months
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hshdhdjdnd aventurine and sunday headcannons with s/o (nb) who loves princess treatment😭😭(i was thinking about it for too long....)
OIUGH7G FINALLY A SUNDAY ASK I WAS JUST ABT TO WRITE HIM BEFOE I GOT THIS ASK!!!!this is literally so cute.. im giggling and kicking my feet while writing this... srry if it isnt ALLL abt the princess treatment and got angsty in the end i got carried away.. 😔😔😔
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Sunday n Aventurine with an s/o who likes princess treatment....
Aventurine
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-wanna be treated like a princess? hes already ready to do anything you ask for.
-when you guys are shopping n if anything caught your interest, its yours. no matter what the price hes getting it for you.
-you will never have to feel lonely when avens with you, you want kisses? hes dropping anything hes doing atm, no matter how important it is, and kissing alllll over your face, neck arms and hands...
-craving something specific to eat? he'll search alll over whatever planet yall are on for it, and get it for you, even if it takes all day, you will have that treat.
-definitely does not want you to get tired or be in pain when you guys are out together, if you like wearing heels and your feet get tried hes extremely welling to take wear your heels for you (not surprisingly, hes rlly good at walking in heels for a long time)
-overall, Aven would do anything to make sure your happy, comfortable and treated properly, sometimes he'll break down infront of you, thinking hes not a good lover, and he doesnt deserve you at all hes scared he might lose you and start blaming himself just like with his family..
Sunday
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-oohohoh get ready for the spoiling of ypur life. princess treatment? sunday only knows queen treatment.
-yk that line in the tb quest when robin asked sunday why he doesnt eat sweet things anymore? ik it has lots of sad lore behind it but i like to think he gives all his sweet treats to you. nothing makes him happier then your smiling face when he pushes his piece of cake towards you....
-also you will never move a single limb when your with sunday. you need to clean your house? sunday has servants from The Family clean and cook at a flick of a finger.
-he will try to text and call you every 2 hours when hes busy, asking if your ok and if you need anything...
-i hc that sunday doesnt rlly know how to show affection towards anyone and his kisses are awkward and inexperienced so instead he just nudges his wings against your cheek, the soft preened feathers tickling against your skin...
-Sunday isnt a perfect partner, since hes always on abt the order, and he definitely sometimes locks himself away from anyone. but your definitely one of the very few people he cares abt...
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moneymartin · 4 months
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okau i know u already did these but can u do more nsfw hcs for nika???
✧.* - smutty nika hcs
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warnings: this whole thing is literally smut sooo… 18+
afab!r
a/n: im havin fun with these ngl… if anything is repeated from the og hcs im sorry!!!! got carried away and some of my thoughts r sprinkled around here
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MUNCHHHHHH
she gets off on eating you out i swear
nika got a pussy eater jaw too
i think its because you squeeze your thighs around her head
she likes it
i said this the last time but your pleasure matters more to her than her own
100% a titty girl like i can see it
LOVE LOVE LOVESSS THEM
like during sex she’ll cup them any chance she gets
an ass girl too
stares at em in public w no shame and grabs at your butt when she can 😭
veryyy vocal
lots of huffing and puffing when it comes to her
whiner and whimperer when she hears you getting more comfortable abt the noises you’re making
loves when you moan her name don’t even get me started
grunts too fosho
i think she’d talk in croatian too and it turns you AWNNNNNNNN
“ljubavi” “moj anđele” “dušo” “dobra cura”
dirty talks in croatian too but idk how to translate that.
she’d dom half of the time but if you wanna dom she’ll gladly oblige
strap game is crazy
totally does that thing where she teases you really slowly then js plunges into you
😩😩😩😫
never rough unless asked but if she’s angry or upset she’ll go WILLDDDDD
call me crazy but she’d def like it if you bit…
i think she’d be the hardest teaser ever
esp in public.
if you’re really feeling it when you two are out she can tell
its like her superpower
uses it against you too cs she doesn’t wanna let you get it easy
her fingers are running up and down your thighs and shes always getting sooo close it fucks you up every time
she gets you WET w one touch its actually crazy
if you were touch deprived it’d be even worse too like if she brushed her lips up against you and breathed on your skin js a lil you’d FREEAK
freak as in you’d be SOOOOAKKED
please tell me you guys think she’d wanna film sex tapes
JUST FOR YOU TWO ONLY THO
she a secret freak for those
i think arguments would lead into rlly fucking hot angry sex
but she initiates the intimacy first after bc she knows you’re def not gonna be in the mood to do so
honestly it starts w really small touches to the arm while you two yell back and forth
the next thing you know you two are fucking on the kitchen counter 😭
or she has to literally manhandle you onto the bed and fucks you there instead 🥸
uses the strap durin that too u can’t tell me otherwise
i think if you got really horny in public out of nowhere she’d take care of it for you IMMEDIATELYYYY
the family restrooms.
or the car
CAR SEX IS HER THINGGGGG ALSO
you guys could be in the car while on a roadtrip and she’ll find a way to sneak a hand onto you to make you feel good 🤫
def eats you out in the backseat too
say its your first time
definitely takes it as slowwww as you need her to be
offers to just use her hands or something first so that you get used to it
but if you wanna like go rlly far for the first time she’ll do it for sure as long as you’re comfy
she loves when you touch her abs it turns her on 😫
makes you ride em for sure cs she fucking loves when they’re glistening in your cum
makes you lick it up CLEAN after too w your tongue
WOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME OMG
she’s a switch
power bottom and soft dom
super slow when she tops you
but she lovesss when you’re riding her strap too its her fav thing next to the ab riding
ouhhhh she loves eye contact
her eyes r so beautiful like
they get all predatory when she’s fucking you its so sexy
also when she gives you the fuck me eyes i think she means it in the opposite way
meaning she wants to fuck you
cowgirl is her fav position don’tttt play
again shes a titty girl
she loves looking at them bounce.
she doesn’t bother to get fully undressed cause it shows she cares more about you
okay im done thanks.
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banggyu0308 · 1 year
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genre: internet strangers to lovers, idol au, smut
warnings: nsfw under the cut, not very coherent, slutty yeonjun, dom!yeonjun, sexting, choking kink, pet names (baby), praise, drinking (they don't get THAT drunk, alright guys?), one night stand-ish, degradation, unprotected sex, breeding kink, handholding, cursing, dacryphilia, yeonjun lurks on social media TT, reader is bold ASF, not proofread
wc: 2.5k+
an: tysm for the username help @itgirlgyu TT + this is just for the delulus + @beomsl MEL YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE TALKED ABT PART OF THIS???? + i might title this later but who knows!!
taglist: @full-sunnies , @agustdiv1ne
yeonjun who likes to wear his tank tops to show off, loves heading onto moa twitter and tumblr after lives just to see the fandom having a meltdown... especially hard stan social media, watching all the comments and photos of himself show up. he likes being in control like this, having the power to make everyone else go crazy just by wearing something else that day.
he scrolls and scrolls and one specific post pops up, it's community labeled and when he clicks 'keep reading', he can see why; pretty tits on display from the original poster, comments in the tags all about how she's all his, and he's not very surprised to feel himself growing hard in his pants. yeonjun eyes the username, ready to click the blue-fonted 'follow' button, but it's already gone, and his eyes widen to see that it's an account he's been following and interacting with for a while. that fact only makes it better, and he's clicking to his chat with you before he can even think it through what he's about to do.
yawnchoi you look really pretty in that new post...
yn what can i say? yeonjun brings out a special part of me 😭
yawnchoi im very sure he feels the exact same
yn in my dreams 😭 don't fuel my deluluness
yawnchoi i'm being very serious right now
yn mhm mhm sureeee and how would YOU know? 😑
yawnchoi ajksdbwsjdhbw maybe this wasn't a good idea
yn WHAT wasn't a good idea, hm? 🤨
yawnchoi baby all i'm trying to do is figure out how to word that i'm yeonjun 😭
yn i do not believe you for one moment
yawnchoi i'll send a pic that i would never, ever post and you can even reverse image search it or whatever or i could send a video, im not messing around baby
yn go ahead then ;-;
yawnchoi [sent a photo]
yn alright so yeonjun would definitely never post a photo of him in his boxers in bed so imma need that video 🙏
yawnchoi [sent a video]
yn oh. oh holy shit choi yeonjun has seen my tits- NOT ONLY HAS HE SEEN MY TITS HE LIKES THEM- one sec imma need to process haha im totally not hyperventilating haha
yn alright im back hi haha
yawnchoi helloooo 👋
yn wow. alright. so. uh. how do i ask this- you wanna see more tit pics?
yawnchoi THAT WAS SO BOLD HELP ME- but yes pleaseeee
yn [sent a photo]
yawnchoi oh baby- holy shit you're so pretty 🥺
yn thanks jjunie kwsnbdwjkd im still like- going crazy rn yawnchoi thats cute baby :((
yn wjhbswhjdhj so- since you've seen my tits i wanna see you again :(( preferably your dick but haha
yawnchoi yeah? pretty baby wants to see my dick?
yn kjwbshwjdbhe yes please?
yawnchoi asking so nicely... alright baby~ [sent a photo]
yn oh 😳 oh fuck alright sjbdsewjh wanna touch :((
yawnchoi me or yourself, baby?
yn well, both, but only one can happen, right? so me-
yawnchoi go ahead, can i see? yn alright 😳 [sent a video]
yawnchoi baby's so pretty :(( wanna see you cum for me <3
yn [sent a video] would be better if you were here :( want you to touch me so bad wjbwjhdbe
yawnchoi can fly you into korea if you want...
yn YOU'RE KISSING *KIDDING
yawnchoi i'm notttttttt dekjbdekj pretty cunt's got me all horny :((
yn i don't even care if it's a one night stand choi fucking yeonjun's gonna fly me out to korea to fuck me heck yeah
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and he does. books a flight last minute for the next day, from your country to seoul, puts on a pair of sunglasses and his least conspicuous outfit, and drives to the airport. he isn't THAT nervous- it's not like he thinks you're gonna murder him.
and when you walk out of the airport building with nothing but a backpack with you, looking around and waving slightly when you see him, his heart quickens just a little. (and NOT just because he's seen you naked).
you decide to sit in the back of his car for no reason other than you want to, and maybe a little bit because you can't exactly handle looking at him straight on quite yet.
to your surprise, there's no awkward small talk, just him getting straight to the point and saying all the members are out of the dorm currently, but, ever the gentleman, he says since you flew a long way, you can sleep a little bit first and he won't bother you.
your whole body is on alert and you find yourself thinking that there's no way you'd be able to sleep now. it's one thing to sext someone knowing they're an idol- another to actually be in the car with them, on your way to where they live, and knowing you're going to actually fuck them.
yeonjun politely takes your bag when you get out of the car, and when his fingers wrap around the strap, his hand brushes yours slightly. you internally feel like you might faint- you hadn't actually prepared yourself for this, and now he was touching you and he feels real and you knew he was real but now it just feels extra.
holding your bag, he opens the door to the dorm, leading you in before following, taking you into his room and placing your bag down on the floor next to his bed. every single action that takes him closer to you makes your face grow hot, the bed dipping slightly under your weight when you sit down. the sheets are soft, but your mind barely registers it, focusing instead on the fact that you are in yeonjun's bed.
he opens his mouth to say something, and you panic, cutting him off quickly with a wry grin and a statement. "i might need some alcohol in my system before we do anything else."
yeonjun raises his eyebrows in the slightest, a little surprised, but he also gets it. he's pretty sure both his body and his mind want you way too much right now, but he's so nervous he might not do anything. his hands are twisted in his lap and he quickly realizes and sits on them instead before standing.
he leads you to the kitchen, getting himself a can of beer and letting you pour yourself a couple shots of vodka. you know your limits- it's just enough for you to get a little tipsy and stop overthinking everything.
knocking one back, you enjoy the burn in your throat before taking the second. the slight buzz under your skin makes you smile slightly, leaning against the counter while he takes long sips of his own drink. it's obvious he wants this to pick up, so you busy yourself messing with his shirt just a little while he drinks. you slip your fingers under his sleeve, mindlessly rubbing your fingertips back and forth over his skin. you can tell he remembered your comments the previous day about his arms, basing his outfit around that.
he has another tank top on today, arms flexing when he brings the can to his lips to take another sip, and you move your hands a little farther down to rest on his chest. this time, when he lowers the can, his lips are a little wet from the drink and you can't help but press a messy kiss to them, licking the liquid off. yeonjun lets out a slight hiss when your tongues meet, left hand reaching behind him to place the can on the counter.
the alcohol must really be working already because you're both stumbling to his room, messily tugging each other's clothes off, and yeonjun leaves a line of wet hickeys up your neck. each and every touch of his skin on yours makes you feel fire burn a trail across your body, but it's in a way that makes you almost absolutely sure that it's not just because he's one of your celebrity crushes, or because you're a little drunk.
yeonjun's movements are so rushed that in seconds he's on top of you, his own shirt off, pants quick to follow once you tug at them. your hands find way to his newly-lightened hair when his lips and tongue meet yours again, a different kind of intoxication weaving itself up and over each of your limbs, the kind of intoxication that makes you want to live and breathe this man.
"want you," he whispers, cheeks pink from the alcohol, his eyes slightly glazed when he looks into yours, and the way he says it makes your cheeks grow hot again.
"go ahead then, 'm all yours," you exhale in response, trying to ignore the way your heart twinges at your own words. this is just a one time thing, you have to remind yourself.
but yeonjun's eyes light up and he presses another kiss to your lower lip, one hand moving between your legs to part them. his eyes lower to your cunt, and you can feel the way your underwear are sticking to your pussy. you'd chosen to wear white underwear today and you're pretty sure they're see-through by now, drenched completely from all the feelings yeonjun's touch is sending through you.
"all mine?" yeonjun mumbles, eyes wide. and when you nod, he smirks slightly. "love your cunt so much, i might just take you right now." your own eyes widen and yeonjun can feel your breath hitch. "but you'd like that, wouldn't you? pretty slut would love her jjunie taking her raw, would love to have me cum inside..."
you suck in a breath through your teeth at his words, nodding quickly, spread out on the bed beneath him. your mouth tastes like alcohol and yeonjun, and your brain tries to forget how he so flippantly called himself your jjunie.
"jjun, just, just fuck me, please?" you whimper out when he rubs a fingertip over your clothed cunt.
"baby asked so nicely, might as well give her what she wants," he coos, tugging off his boxers only once he slides your underwear down your legs. "promise you'll let me taste you next time?"
you nod, too distracted by the fact that he's already planning a 'next time' in his head to realize that he wants to eat you out, but by the time you understand, he has the tip of his cock pressed to your entrance, other hand holding yours as he slowly pushes in. the gesture feels sweet, romantic even, and you let your eyes fall shut when he pauses his movements.
yeonjun's body is pressed flush to yours in a way that allows him to brush his fingers over your neck, skin smooth against you. his hand wraps loosely around your neck and his breath is hot on your cheek when he whispers, "is this okay?"
you nod once more, only because the combination of the alcohol and his body on you is making your brain so fuzzy you can't think clear enough to speak. yeonjun hums lightly and experiments with his grip, making you gasp a little when he also hits your g-spot. he lets out a hiss when your already-tight walls tighten further around him.
he'd had a feeling that you'd feel like heaven around him, just because of the fact you had stated you were only able to fit two fingers inside yourself, but he had obviously underestimated all the sensations that were going to overwhelm him like they are now. every movement of his hips towards yours makes him fight to control the tremble of his body. your hand is linked with the one he doesn't have around your neck and every time he buries himself completely inside you, your hand tightens just a little around his.
he's losing himself just a little, hand still laced with yours, pace quickening until jolty, broken, high pitched moans are the only sound leaving you. yeonjun can't help but smirk at that, hoisting one leg over his shoulder. "fucking pussy is so perfect, almost like it's made for me, taking me so well... might just keep you here, my personal little cumslut, could bring you on tour with us, fuck you every night in the hotel room, how'd you like that, hm?"
his rhythm is so brutal you're choking on your words by now, broken sobs slipping through your parted lips, tears filling your waterline and then slipping down your cheeks, mixing with the slight mascara you'd put on this morning and making your face a mess. yeonjun likes it too, the way he's so easily able to get you like this, just a few words from his lips and you're crying.
he can't help but tell you this with a mocking pout on his lips that turns into yet another smirk, chuckling when all you can do is whimper incoherently. yeonjun kisses you gentle enough to make up for his harsh words though, he's only trying to make you feel good, and he knows you like it when he talks down to you.
one hand still around your neck, the other moves from your hand to your waist, and he's only fucking into you harder when you whine out that you're close. his lips catch yours again when you gasp out his name, gummy walls fluttering around his dick as your whole body shakes from the force of your orgasm, yeonjun's fingertip rubbing at your clit making you convulse under him.
yeonjun bites back a little moan and lowers his lips to your ear again. "can i cum in you, baby? let me make you mine?"
you can't tell if he's just saying it in the heat of the moment, but you nod, wanting nothing more than to feel him inside you.
he bites his lip slightly, only losing control completely when you lick up the side of his neck and bite a splotchy hickey onto his neck. his warm cum fills you as he mumbles out a string of curses mixed with your name against your neck.
yeonjun practically collapses on you once he pulls out but lets himself take a second to marvel at how pretty you look right now, mascara leaking down your cheeks and neck, his cum and yours leaking from your swollen, abused cunt.
you let him wrap his arms around your form, cheek against his chest, both your bodies hot and sweaty, his bangs plastered to his forehead. there's a question on the tip of your tongue but he answers it for you, mumbling in your ear, "will you stay? for longer than just today?" yeonjun pauses slightly, then continues. "i'm not sure if i want you to be just one time. i know that this part of our relationship is new but we've been talking for so long and yeah, i don't want you to go back home and for this never to happen again."
you purse your lips, alcohol fogging up your brain and making you a little too sleepy to respond. "we'll talk tomorrow, hm? it's late and i had a long flight and i'm tired, jjunie..."
he nods slightly, running a hand through his hair, and presses a kiss to your forehead. "goodnight, yn."
"night night, yeonjun," you exhale.
you're almost half asleep when you hear him whisper, "the others'll be home soon, if they see us like this, i'm blaming you..."
877 notes · View notes
mydearesthrry · 3 months
Text
lover, you should’ve come over - h.s.
a/n: part 2 to casual. read here! also, this is lowkey not great cause casual wasnt supposed to be a 2 parter. but bc i love u i did it. be grateful. enjoy my babies!!!! song: lover, you should’ve come over by jeff buckley
warnings: angst, happy-ISH ending
pairing: loser doormat!y/n x harry styles
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— MARCH
harry: hi princess, i really miss you.
harry: i haven’t seen you since two fridays ago, where’ve you gone?
harry: text me back, please baby.
y/n: safe and alive
y/n: and i already told you, u don’t need to worry abt me
y/n: im fine
harry: i’m coming over.
y/n: har, please don’t. it’s really okay.
harry: not to me.
setting her phone down with a sigh, y/n scrubbed her hands up and down her face as she felt the beginning of a headache begin to brew at the thought of having to see harry.
after the conversation they’d had two weeks ago, harry hadn’t come over, and she hadn’t made the effort to ask him to. she reckoned that if she pulled back slowly, he wouldn’t notice.
she curses herself now for thinking that. of course he’d notice. because he’s harry.
she didn't want to have to talk about how she felt, because it meant admitting that she loved him. and she knew that wouldn't exactly fare well for her.
trying her hardest to make time pass by as slow as possible, she stepped into her bathroom, starting a bubble bath. if this was what she was going to have to deal with tonight, she might as well be comfy. harry can deal with sitting on the floor.
“princess?” she heard him call. her eyes squeezed shut as she braced herself, knowing that even seeing his face was going to viscerally affect her.
“i’m in here,” she called back, quieter than he was initially. “hi.”
“you look pretty,” was the first thing that came out of his mouth. an eye roll from y/n had him squatting down in front of her, face inches from hers. “wanna give me a kiss?”
“no, not really.” she said plainly, sinking further deeper into the water, creating distance between them. harry couldn’t see her body as it was completely concealed by the mountains of foamy bubbles.
“ouch, princess, i don’t see you f’two weeks and this is what i get? even drove over here 5 over the limit jus’ t’see you.” harry didn’t want to admit that her rejection had felt like a gunshot wound to the heart, but he’d accepted it anyway so as to not make her uncomfortable. he knew she was upset and needed to fix it. he just didn’t know why.
“i’m sure you’ve gotten plenty kisses from claire the past two weeks, hm?” she mumbled pettily, shifting her glare to the faucet in front of her.
“so that’s what this is about.”
“what’s this?” she didn't think he actually noticed.
“you being all bratty, not talking t’me, s’hurting m’feelings, my love.”
harry was surprised to hear a laugh emit from her throat. “hurting your feelings… i’m hurting your feelings? that’s rich, really, harry. even for you.”
“what?”
“how do you not know that you’re making me miserable?” she whispered defeatedly and the dam broke. silent tears began to run down her cheeks, and she knew she couldn’t blame it on being sweat from the heated water. not when harry reached out to wipe them away with his calloused thumbs.
“baby- i- what?” he blubbered, shifting onto his knees to have an advantage of being closer to the tub. “what do you mean i’m making you miserable?”
“because you like playing this game with me, harry. its just so fucked up. you keep me around, kiss me, fuck me, and then treat me like i’m just one of your fucking lads, like you don’t really care. you get possessive when i talk to other guys at events, but if i get upset that you’re literally fucking another girl, i’m being sensitive, and ‘i should know by now that we aren’t exclusive.’ it feels like you don’t even want me. someone who claims to love me wouldn’t do this to me.”
a pause, a sniffle.
“you’re supposed to be my best friend, h.”
the room was eerily silent. harry’s face had gone stoic and pale. y/n sat there quietly, breath hitching with every sob she tried to stifle.
“‘m sorry,” he started.
“i’m sure you are.”
“how do i fix it?”
“i… i don’t know if you can.” she whispered honestly.
no words were shared between the two for minutes that felt stretched into hours. her fingers and toes had gotten pruny, the bubbles beginning to dissolve. she needed to get out— but she didn’t want harry to see her at her most vulnerable.
“can you please wait for me in my room?” she murmured, reaching over the lip of the tub for her towel that lay on the floor, sliding it closer to the tub.
“princess,” he said in near disbelief.
“please don’t call me that. can you please wait for me in my room?” she said ruefully, catching his eyes so he knew she was serious. she knows he would never purposely disrespect her boundaries.
harry shifted uncomfortably at y/n asking him to stop calling her ‘princess’, the name he’d crowned her with since the beginning. “erm, yeah. sorry.”
walking out of the bathroom, harry collapsed onto her bed, eyes brimming with tears as he tried to control his sporadic breathing. why did he do this to her?
“hi,” y/n said, shuffling out the bathroom a few minutes later with her hair in a small pink towel. she looked significantly calmer, more put together. “let’s talk.”
“i’m sorry-“
“no, me first, you listen,” she stated, watching as harry nodded, not caring that she’d cut him off.
“i love you. it’s not a secret that i love you, and i love you in more ways than one. i love everything about you, how kind you are, how gentle. but you aren’t really,” she paused, not knowing how to explain herself. “you aren’t really nice to me.”
"what do you mean?" he murmured, head cast downward. he reminded her of a wounded puppy. it was his fault, but she couldn't help but feel a little bad.
"i... i don't know how to put this without being the bad guy, but you're really manipulative to me. texting me when it's convenient for you, coming over when its convenient for you, all of it, harry. it's manipulative, and i don't know how to make you understand. i couldn't do it to you, even if i tried."
"why didn't you tell me?" he whispered.
"i tried. every time i tried talking about it with you, you'd shut me up with a kiss, feeding me a line, something. it was always something." she explained, a sympathetic, dulcet smile on her face.
"i didn't mean to hurt you, y/n."
she nods understandingly. she knows that he's a good person at his core. she knows his heart. "i know you didn't mean to, but you did."
"if- if it helps, and i don't know if it's gonna," harry begins, before pausing as his throat began to squeeze, his nose tingling with the onslaught of tears. "i always wanted it to be you."
are you kidding me? y/n thought, taking a deep breath to keep her composure. “if you wanted to be with me, why didn’t you just come over?”
“i don’t know what you wanted. if you still wanted me, or if you wanted to end things… i… i didn’t know. 'm sorry, baby, i'm really sorry, fuck, i really, really am. y've got t'believe me, i didn't mean to hurt yo-” he stumbles over his words, breath catching as he tries to explain himself. y/n can see the panic begin to coat his green eyes, and with throwing all logic out the window, she climbs onto his lap, holding his face in her hands.
"i know you didn't, harry, i know. that's why i'm telling you now, okay? i'm trying to help you. i want to fix this, but you need to understand how i feel too, okay?" she nods, running her thumbs up and down his cheekbones, the tips of his lashes kissing her fingertips.
“i- i can’t lose you, i can’t,” he gasped through tears, shaking his head side to side. “i’m sorry baby, i’m so, so sorry.”
“harry. look at me.” she demanded, holding his face tightly so he couldn’t move. his eyes slowly casted to her face, noting how her eyes had began to gloss over again, nose reddening with emotion. “i know you didn’t mean to hurt me. i’m not that upset anymore. you won’t lose me, but you need to see my point of view.”
“and i do— i really do, i swear. angel, i promise i see you and i hear you, i just- fuck- i don’t know how to make it better.”
“you acknowledging it makes it better. you apologizing makes it better.”
“it couldn’t possibly be enough. i- y/n, i hurt you. i made you cry, and i made you inferior. i promised myself that you would be the one person i wouldn’t ever hurt. you’re too good t’me, you’re so perfect.”
a soft smile played on y/n’s lips. “its okay, h. i forgive you.”
“you do?”
“yeah, i do. but, i don’t think i can do this with you anymore.”
“do what?”
“this, the friends with benefits agreement. it’s too hurtful for me, and if i can’t have you as a lover, i don’t think i can have you at all.”
“what? what do you mean by that?”
“i need time, h. i need space, and i need room to breathe and think. if i see you, i worry i’ll make rash decisions that’ll hurt me in the end.” she sighed, climbing off his lap as she made her decision. “if i can’t love you in the way i know you deserve, i don’t know if i can give you love at all.”
“why?”
“because i don’t know how to love you without it being all consuming.”
“why don’t you let it? i still want you, y/n. i just told you that.”
“but i can’t risk getting hurt again, harry. not by you.”
“so that’s it? i can’t be your friend, i can’t be your lover?”
she sighed, clenching her teeth before swallowing thickly. “i can’t be the reason you didn’t find the love of your life.”
a pause. bated breaths. “what if its you?”
a defeated chuckle. “it can’t be. no matter how much you want it to.”
“why won’t you give us a chance!”
“how can i believe that it won’t be different than last time?!” she screamed, finally at her wits end. standing from the bed, she stood at the foot with clenched fists. “i think you should leave.”
“what? no, baby, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to upset you.”
“please leave, harry. i just need time to think, and i can’t do that if you’re here.” she pleaded. watching harry step up from her bed, she placed a hand over her mouth and followed him out the door.
“i love you, but it’s ruining my life.”
“promise me you’ll call when you’ve had time to think. promise me that you’ll call when you need me again. please, promise me you’ll call me if you want me here. i will come to you, no matter where i am.”
“i know you will, harry. i know. and i will. i promise to call you when i’m ready.”
“i love you, okay?”
“i know. goodbye, harry.”
— JUNE
“hello?” y/n said into the speaker of her phone.
“hi, princess. i’ll be there in 20, okay? i’ve missed you.”
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papil0nglegs · 1 month
Note
What about the mercs with a fem SO that talks in brainrot sometimes? Would really want medic in there but it's up to you!
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Mercs x Brainrot!Reader
A/n: WHY IS THE TF2 FANDOM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS IDEA? 😭 I SAW ANOTHER FIC ABT THIS AND TWO REQUESTS ASKING FOR THIS PLS
warnings: Brainrot.. a lot of images being used, it’s a shit post who cares tbh
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Scout
He’s into it too
Guys it’s scout
“Scout ilysm ur so nonchalant <33”
“Thanks babe ^^ I know I’m pretty alpha”
(Oh btw the alpha thing isn’t a joke he unironically listens to alpha male podcasts)
In the middle of spy’s serious moments you’d both lip sync ‘you are my sunshine’ to each other when he’s not looking
“what the bloody hell are you guys doing..”
“…perhaps itz a coping mechanizm zince scout doesn’t have a father?”
Medic really had to take it there
The ‘fatherless child’ meme was a coping mechanism for him tho
“I’m a fatherless child, of course I have abandonment issues”
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“Um babe? Idk if you should joke abt that 😚”
“Na it just makes me more sigma”
You guys love to fuck with the blu team sm with your shenanigans, esp sniper!!
Scout would have his bat and you would have whatever weapon you have with you and yell “skibidi” before jumping him
Here’s something he DEFINITELY didn’t learn from you 💯
creds to urwhouchoose2b on Tik tok
Engineer
He tries so hard to understand
Whenever you show him a meme he does the classic old person holding phone away from eyes thing
Yk the
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“Ok so this is the ‘im nothing like y’all’ fish”
“alrighty, and this is..?”
“Oh that’s the Freddy five bear meme, see it’s funny cuz his name is actually ‘Freddy fazbear’ but they got his name wrong so like.. yeah”
“…I’m not sure what I’m ‘posed to say ‘bout this, but I think you belong in a looney bin”
Once he had a project that had the word “alpha” in it and he hated mentioning it to you cuz yk
“giggle”
“…what?”
“Skibidi alpha”
“What??”
Demo man
HE LOVES IT LMFAOO
he’s so energetic esp when he’s drunk so he’s happy to have someone he can share that energy with
Y’all know that “Scotland forever” meme
Well you screamed it after another victory as a joke, but when demo heard it he was confused but also excited?
“SCOTLAND FOREVAA”
“OH? ALRIGHT THEN, SCOTLAND FOREVER 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿”
cut to him butt chugging beers
Demo doesn’t get it but he has the spirit
He’ll be right there replicating the TikTok audios after taking the point
Dude is drunk 99% of the time so he’s never bothered to ask what any of this means, he’s just in it for the fun
Once you dragged him to the bathroom since he drake too many beers (shocker) but he didn’t want to do it in the toilet cuz he didn’t want to ‘hurt his dear skibidi’
“Cmon demo you have to puke it out!!”
“Noo, take me to the jawbox I don’t wanna hert me skibidi toilet”
“Oh god what have I done”
I think you rotted his brain a little too much
Spy
Don’t even get him started.
He’s so sick of your antics it’s not even funny
“Guys we all have to remember that it’s not about the money.. it’s about the skibidi.”
Passionately grabs spy’s shoulder
“How have you made it this far in life”
Unlike engie, he really doesn’t want to know about it
Especially during missions
“lol spy you’re so devious ASF”
“shhh, enough blabbering!!”
“You are not carti 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️❌‼️‼️‼️”
You make fun of him a bunch, he can’t think of a single moment where you took him seriously
“Y/n get off the cart!!”
“If we were in Fortnite I’d have higher ground + double pump.”
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eunkitarot · 6 months
Note
Hello 🍀 Can you do Heeseung as a boyfriend reading just like u did for jayy ... btw I loved ur reading on jay as a bf 💌🤌🙆‍♀️💖
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Hi sure,a tarot reading for Heeseung As a Bf
First of all there is one extra card for his reading. I dont usually read 6 but 5 cards. So I think he has more qualities to him than usual.
'I want to treat you better than you think you deserve'. Is what I am getting.
So lets get into the cards pulled,
Queen of pentacles: as a bf, heeseung is someone that is soft with you. Nurturing and patient. He is practical when it comes to the relationship but at the same time very warm. You know the cold but caring man. Tsundere? Yeah he is NOT that. He is going to shower you with love and be very obvious that he likes you. As a bf he is going to be generous with you, whether it being emotionally or physically. He can be clingy. Queen of pentacles, is an energy of maturity that is attentive to your needs and he will spoil you. He will buy you gifts and presents.He is the type that is aware you have flaws but he will overlook them just because he love you so much. Heeseung will cherish and appreciate you.
Strength:with this card heeseung believes in mutual support, emotional resilience, and enduring affection. These qualities imply that he wants a relationship that is sturdy and rich. One where both partners uphold each other in times of hardship and maintain a lasting affection that withstands the test of time. He believes in sticking with you through high and lows. He wants you to be like that too. He wont leave you when you are going through something. Even when you push him away. Im imagining a scenario where you are sick and u want a break up bcs you dont want to burden him. He will refuse to break up with you. In fact, he will stay by your side till u get better. Something like that. Very loyal. The strength card is about not giving up and I think heeseung wont give up on his people easily.
9 of wands: is so similar with the strength card. Its abt pushing through and being reselient. Heeseung knows that obviously relationships are not smooth sailing all the time, there are times where things dont go the way you want . But he believes that if you want to work it out together, the problem can be solved. Its all in your willingness to fight for the relationship. As a boyfriend,Heeseung would be supportive of you and when i say support i mean your well being. So in a sense that if what youre doing is damaging to you then he will not support it. Because he still wants the best for you. He will tell you accordingly, prioritising what u need to hear than what you want to hear.
Six of cups: as bf , Heeseung would want you to treat him like a bestfriend. He would want to hear everything about you from the gossips to your beefs with others. He is just curious abt your life. And he would do the same thing and tell you everything. Nothing to hide. He would tell you about his day, what he eats , what he wears the list goes on and on. He would even tell you if he shit that day. To that extent.He would yap and also listen. You will realise that you would go everywhere together, Heeseung is the type of bf that you need to make sure you tell him that you have friends you need to meet up. Because if not, he will be carried away. As if the world only have the 2 of you in it. So thats is something you need to tell him about because i think Heeseung himself unintentionally do that. He enjoys too much that he lost track of time.
The fool: as a bf heeseung would be someone that is excited to be around you. He would be very playful and teasy. He will make you laugh alot. He just wanna have fun with you it doesnt matter where you guys are. The fool is a 0 card. So its giving a clean slate. I interprete this as heeseung falling for his person over and over again everytime he spend time with them. Its like his feelings get reset. And it becomes stronger and stronger everytime it resets. Something like watching you eat an ice cream, and he will just think "omg she is stunning".
Bonus: A song came up. le sserafim prod. Imase JEWELRY just played in my head. For this fool card🤭)
Bottom of deck/ overall energy 9 of pentacles:however even though he can be clingy, overall he believes that having a healthy mix of independence and love between the two of you is important. He likes the fact that you guys are flourishing as a couple and as individuals. He appreciates this deeply, and he is grateful for what you have together but also as your own person. Having your own identity. He wants it to be 2 different ppl that come together to meet in the middle. 2 different puzzle pieces fitted together.
So in my opinion, as a bf he is very caring, loving at the same time playful. He is extremely loyal. I know he has this playboy kinda image going on. But from this reading he is not. He is actually a complete opposite. Once he likes someone he can be emotionally invested (explains how he can have a crush over 2 yrs) and overwhelmed in fact. So there is no way he can have emotional spaces for others once he secure someone he really love.
I hope yall like this readd dont forget to give a like 💗
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arsene-ee · 8 days
Note
not to butt in someone else's conversation but im glad more people are talking abt how ulder gets mischaracterized!!
hes one of the characters that already existed in dnd lore (for several modules even, hes an important guy lol) and its just weird how many players have decided hes either a completely absent uncaring and unloving father or this overtly strict asshole who abused wyll when the game and canon personality both go against that
i like that their relationship is complicated, but so many players are barely willing to even spare 1 minute to Consider wyll, much less ulder
don't feel like you're butting into a conversation I'm with someone publicly 😭😭😭 it's fine, i really appreciate your input 🩷🩷🩷
Honestly I never played actual DnD so I was not aware the Ulder is such a Important Character lol (I mean obv in game he is like THE GUY, one of the most important men in Baldurs Gate)
I think some people can't fathom the complexity of real human relationships, or real human characteristics in general, especially when it comes to Video games so they won't get it when it's not explicitly fed to them.
And like the little attention both of them get is really bothering me because people just look at Wyll deem him boring and then put him into timeout at camp and THEN THEY OBV DON'T EVEN WANNA GET TO KNOW ULDER OR EVEN CARE ABOUT HIM AND IT MAKES ME SO FUCKING MAD, especially since Ulder is one of the only Parents you actually get to meet in game (I'm not sure about Gale's mom but I think she's only mentioned) so a little more voice lines for him would be nice, like bro I'm gonna be your daughter in Law, react to me like pls.
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astronomical-bagel · 7 months
Note
I wanna hear you talk about chilchuck the most that sure is a guy ever
YAY I GET TO TALK ABOUT MY GUY THANK YOU BELOVED MUTUAL KYSOOT 
(Warning for lots of spoilers from chapter 30 of the manga (right after the red dragon))
Anyways fun fact! The thing that made chilchuck my favorite character was actually when he was trying to convince senshi to lie to the Laios and Marcille in order to get them to turn back and give up on finding falin. I made a whole post about it too, i LOVE cowards. I was reading in my car waiting my twin to get off work and i was screaming my head off the whole time because it was such a good revelation about his character.
And it’s not that i love scared guys (i do, absolutely, but chilchuck doesnt apply here), and its not that i love disloyal people (i also do, but once again, not the point), its the whole character arc where it goes:
1. Once he reaches a limit for how much danger he is willing to be in he will break any moral code of his to keep himself safe. He will lie, he will abandon his friends, whatever, so long as he makes it out alive. 
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2. But THEN, he realizes that his want for safety isn’t just for himself, this time. He realizes that he wants his friends to survive as well. (and that he has gotten way more attached than what was in his job description)
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(look how fond he is!!!! Look how fond he is!!!!!! Im banging my head on the wall AWUGHH!!!!)
So 3. He is forced to go against his own nature of secrecy and being reserved and has to tell the team outright that he doesn’t want them to die.there is just something sooo *vague waving of hands* about a guy who absolutely hates talking about his feelings being forced to do so auughhhh. And he did it to convince Laios to not be reckless and get himself killed!!!!
That entire chapter had such a good journey through chilchuck’s emotional state. From him beign 100% ready to trick them in order to turn around (even contemplating breaking marcille’s staff!), then reminiscing on the fun or brave moments that theyd just had, then remembering that he was mad at them for being idiots and doubling down on his decision. When talking to that orc woman (Leed), he was trying to convince himself that his actions were justified, not just her. 
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And I also quite like the moment when Leed realizes that Chilchuck isn’t angry at the others for putting him in danger, but for putting themselves in danger. Chilchuck didn’t realize this himself yet! Him saying that he wished the others would give up, even when he was removed from the equation, makes Leed realize that he is unselfishly wanting them to turn back so that they would be safe.
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And when she points this out, Chilchuck is absolutely gobsmacked and barely even talks for the rest of the trip because he’s too busy thinking over this revelation. Love a guy who keeps to himself being forced to reconcile with the fact that he has actual friends he cares about now. Look at him!! Hes so shocked he doesn't even know what do to with himself !!! I love him!!!
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And also, another part i really liked abt this chapter is when chilchuck is trying to convince Laios to go back and he’s like “LISTEN i know you are absolutely terrified for your sister but I have THREE PEOPLE TO WORRY ABOUT AND IM NOT USED TO THAT IM GOING TO VOMIT” its just so silly and endearing to me because he really isn’t used to caring about so many people at once – he’s a reserved guy who has been living alone for multiple years! – and its just so important to me because he’s been forced to acknowledge that he cares about his team so hes like “if you guys put yourself in mORE danger im going to scream and cry and throw up SO YOU BETTER TURN BACK NOW PLEEEAASEE”
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Anyways, chapter 30 was so well done and was an absolutely fascinating insight into his character and I was instantly obsessed. There’s a lot of other reasons why I like Chilchuck, but this chapter is the definitive reason why he’s my favorite. (I also just like seeing a guy when he’s terrified, sue me.)
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shokoppipan · 2 months
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Miya Osamu | Headcannons | Relationship
» [Meddle About - Chase Atlantic] «
0:43─〇───── 3:23
⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻
ᝰ.ᐟ osamu x gn!reader
ᝰ.ᐟ sfw <33
ᝰ.ᐟ First headcannons so ples dont roast me :b
ᝰ.ᐟ Which Haikyuu character do you wanna see next? Comment down below! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
Miya Osamu Headcannons ── .✦
꩜ He’s a good cook (obviously), helps Moma Miya in cooking, he can also bake but not as good
꩜ Gets his cooking ideas from YT videos or something he tried from scrops on a whim
꩜ He’s a deep sleeper, stays up late often, but wakes up early
꩜ Unlike Atsumu, he rarely gets sick, and Osamu takes care of his brother when he has like a cold
꩜ He’s the type of guy to have a short temper, but is not really noticed with his cool demeanor
꩜ As seen of fights with him and Atsumu, he he gets more physical than verbal (abuse) and is hell lot stronger than Atsumu (I stand with that yes, look at how he FUCKED UP Atsumu in their last fight)
꩜ I personally think that him going on a different path than Atsumu is fully supported by their mother, but she did ask him something like “Are you sure?”, since she knows that it also means it will seperate the two, not like she dislikes of the idea of him choosing a different career
꩜ Usually the one following with his brothers antics
꩜ He probs said/says more cuss words than Atsumu
꩜ He probably fell when he was on the top bunk of their bed thats why he now sleeps on the lower bunk
꩜ He’s more of a dog person (He probs like a Husky, Labrador or Samoyed)
꩜ Bro is a SNITCH I tell you, even if he was the one at fault he blames it on Atsumu
꩜ He has a long attention span bro can just sit there and think about food
꩜ Bro is someone who just keeps his feelings to himself because he does not know how to express himself, but pretty sure Atsumu knows when sumthins wrong with his twin
꩜ Listens to Atsumu yap about stuff.
꩜ He has a tad bit inferiority complex due to the fact that he’s always compared to Atsumu
꩜ When they have arguments, he’s the one to initiate first cause Atsumu being the baby he is (even tho he’s older) doesn’t budge, so Osamu lets it cool down a bit and after a while hands something he cooked to his bro then they dont take abt it anymore
꩜ Bro is one to give BOMBASTIC SIDE EYE whenever he hears fangirl comments or whenever someone trashtalks Atsumu (he’s the only one who can)
꩜ Bro only ever goes to the internet to watch cooking shows or Gordon Ramsay
꩜ He doesn’t like the idea of being swarmed over by people (ESPECIALLY FANGIRLS)
꩜ Bro is Arctic Monkeys, Chase Atlantic and The Weekend coded, he probs listens with Suna since they have the same music taste
୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆
RELATIONSHIP Headcannons ── .✦
꩜ Lets start of with his type:
- Ill say this now and I will stand for it, it doesnt matter what body type his s/o have. He loves you for you. But I’m pretty sure he loves someone who’s chubby. I mean just sayin ╮(︶▽︶)╭
- He loves someone who’s also a food lover. Someone who doesnt get embarass on what they eats
- He likes someone who’s more initiative than him, like someone who just randomly pulls him and does spontaneous activities like cooking, baking, hiking, whatever
- I bet he likes someone with a talkative or more extroverted attitude than him.
- Extra points for someone who KNOWS how to cook and can make good dishes
- Someone who’s simple and who knows how to appreciate simple things
꩜ This man? LOVER BOY. No questions
꩜ Probably just had one to none relationship cause he believes that when you date, it automatically leads to getting married in the future
꩜ Is one to watch romantic movies just to learn how to woo a girl (me Im that girl)
꩜ Osamu is the type of person to be very distant when someone tries to flirt with him thats NOT his s/o (like girl get yo ass outta my face) and does his disgusted look
꩜ I personally think he has trust issues because the first rs he had or probably the first person he liked only wanted to date him only to get close to his brother :(
꩜ Bro KNOWS how to sing, like he has this low tone husky voice, and whenever you’re sleepy he hums as he pats your shoulder lightly, or whenever he’s in the kitchen cooking
꩜ Bro is a WHOLE GREEN FOREST trust me like he’s very observant to the little things about you, he would even know you’re favorite flower first before he gives you a boquet
꩜ Love language is quality time or acts of service, sometimes gift giving and physical touch, bro believes action speaks louder than words
꩜ He’s not one to be very good with words, but when it comes to it, he gives you very comforting patts and hugs, his hands drawing circles on your back n stuff
꩜ He might not be academically smart but his emotional intelligence is like high HIGH
꩜ BACK. HUGS. IN. THE. KITCHEN.
꩜ Pet names either “Baby” or “Darlin” sometimes he calls you “Honey”
꩜ Holds your hand everytime he has the chance to
꩜ This man (timeskip) always has you on his passanger seat and grabs your thighs when he he’s focused on driving
꩜ I just know this guy brags you off to Atsumu and annoying him about it
꩜ He takes you out on a date to like shop or sumthin, but trust me, in special occasions like on your anniversary, he wont treat you out, rather he has like a whole resto at home and all your favorite dishes are served there with candles and shi
꩜ Grocery dates? Coffen dates? YES. ITS A MUST.
꩜ Bro can’t keep his hands to himself and almost always touches you everytime he has that change, and he’s so smug about it HELP
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
©shokoppipan - Please DO NOT, steal nor copy. REPOSTS are OKAY, but with PERMISSION
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sporesgalaxy · 8 months
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I know this is something u were probably asked before but as the guy that has a good relationship with art....how do you do that??? I mean I get that this question is vague but how do you not care if it looks bad? Do you just?? Keep on going till it looks like you want it to look? Despite the agonies? You seem like you enjoy talking abt this thats why im asking, dont feel the need to answer if u dont wanna
hmmmm. You know, I don't think about the agonies much these days. But it's not that I don't care. I guess I've become a freak who sees beauty in the agonies, sorta? It's kind of complicated! I will do my best to explain!
First of all, I know that I have the unfair advantage of having no ambition. I don't have a goal for my art besides making art when I feel like it. That makes it easy to be less judgemental-- I remember having a rockier relationship to my own art during the time when I thought I would make it my career.
This is why I like talking about my perspective, though!! I think it's important to try not to let yourself be consumed by self-criticism as an artist, even if self-criticism is necessary for you, and hopefully my carefree way of looking at things can help balance things out haha.
Anyways, ambition or not-- and I know how this sounds but bear with me-- art doesn't ever look bad.
(Barring ethically harmful art, ugh, I don't want to get into ethics so just-- surely you know what I mean!!!)
Art gets a lot less stressful if you can tell yourself that no art is bad, and remember the reasoning behind that until you really believe it. It isn't a fast process, but it's very worth the work.
The truth is that art either looks how you want it to look, or it looks different from the way you want it to look, but both are ultimately neutral. You CAN make art that looks different from what you wanted, that you still feel pleased with.
When art looks different from how you wanted, the gut reaction you have is often to call it bad or get frustrated. And of course it's frustrating! Maybe you feel it's not as effective at communicating something as you'd hoped, or you feel it's not as visually impactful as you imagined...but it's important to remember those things are only your perception. Not an objective fact. And art is a two-way street! A communication between creator and observer! And communication is really weird and complicated.
•••
Other people's perception of your work won't ever be exactly the same as yours. Sometimes this is desireable and sometimes it isn't! Maybe your art will communicate the thing better to someone than anything they've ever seen-- even if a more effective version could theoretically exist, the "imperfect" version that actually exists and communicates is all that matters to the observer. Or, maybe a feature that turned out exactly how you wanted it to will fly completely over an observer's head, and not have the effect you wanted at all. A lot of the time, you'll never even know.
An artist can NEVER fully control an observer's perspective, so at a certain point you have to live with what you have. You already do this, to some degree, if you have ever EVER decided to stop working on a piece of art and share it. You can always keep adding to something. You can always keep editing. But sometimes, you stop. And perfection doesn't exist, so when you stop it must be because the art is good enough for now. And nothing about "good enough" is objective!
And is that really so bad? Surely people who grow fruit understand that a fruit which is smaller than they imagined can still feed somebody-- that at the very least it will feed bugs and microorganisms and be useful as fertilizer to grow more apples. Your art still means something, still accomplishes something, is still worth making whether it turns out how you imagined or not.
A lot of art is learning when to quit and move on. As a habitual perfectionist, this was something I had to learn early, to stop myself from erasing holes into every piece of paper I drew on.
There's this rule I was taught in middle school drama class: if you fuck up, act like you didn't fuck up. The audience doesn't have your script memorized, so odds are they won't have any idea you fucked up unless you tell them. Other art works the same way. No one knows what you wanted to make but you. And more importantly, a "perfect" version of your art doesn't exist (no "perfect" version of anyone's art exists, or ever will).
The version you made exists, so you have to find what's worth loving about that version. You have found what's worth loving in the imperfect art of others many times. Many observers will treat your art the same way you treat others' art. Why not treat your own art that way, too?
It sounds really REALLY corny, but I try not to think of this as embracing "mistakes." I think of it as celebrating coincidences.
I really really like coincidences. I like that every circumstance wasn't guaranteed to happen, that everything comes down to chance. I think all the little random things are beautiful because they turned out however they did, and not any of the millions of other ways things might have turned out. It's a coincidence that my genes expressed the way they did. It's a coincidence that my parents met in college. It's a coincidence that my oldest friend and I both got to middle school early every day, and stayed close even when we didn't share any classes.
Art is full of coincidences! I try to draw a straight line. The line does not turn out straight, because of the way my hand is shaped and the way my muscles contracted, because my body is not exactly like anyone else's in the world. No one else would have drawn that slightly not-straight line just exactly how I did. It's mine, and it's crookedness is what makes my art mine. Okay, maybe it's a little too crooked for what I want this time-- I'll erase it and draw a new crooked line at a bit of a different angle. There we go, I like that! Now it's my beautiful, irreplaceable crooked line! And the ghost of its predecessor guides the eye just so, and no one else's two crooked lines would guide your eye the same way, only mine! Isn't that nice on its own? Just to have made something that can't ever be replicated? To have made something no one else has ever made before?
You can also apply this in a bit less dreamy and more practical ways, I promise haha.
For example...I've never been a canvas flipper, as a digital character artist. I don't mirror my canvases to see if they still look preportional to me from either direction. I also don't usually draw visual novel character sprites that need to look good mirrored in either direction to serve their function, so it's never been a practical concern of mine.
I consider many kinds of distortion on a character I've drawn to be a good part of the visual flow of the image. Like a smear frame in animation, distoriton in the right places can make character art look dynamic and energized because it can lead the eye through a certain visual flow over the form of the character. If I were to flip the canvas, that eye-leading effect might hit differently because my American eye is used to reading from left to right-- perhaps it doesn't feel as "smooth" going in the opposite direction. This doesn't mean I need to change the distortion necessarily, it just means I prefer not to flip the canvas.
Often, these distortions aren't intentional. They're a coincidence of how my muscles move as I draw, and the areas my left-to-right American eyeballs instinctively pay more attention to. But the effect is still desireable to me. So, happy coincidence!
I think...that's the best I've got for now? Feel free to ask for clarification. I hope it's not total nonsense!
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klxudykai · 3 months
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some realities should be left to the imagination
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now i’m not sure if this will come off as an unpopular opinion (considering i’ve never seen anyone say anything about it before) but you do not need to shift everywhere. like i get it, the universe is a big ass wonderful and interesting place but that doesn’t mean you need to explore every corner of it. you can say “oh i can just script that i don’t get trauma blah blah blah” but that doesn’t prevent your subconscious mind from carrying that trauma. sure it’ll help with your dr but you won’t forget what you saw or whatever happened.
now i’m not talking about how you have to point yourself to one or two drs. you can have as many as you want, especially considering the fact i have almost 30 so i definitely can’t be talking. but you need to consider where you’re shifting to. i will never put someone down for where they’re shifting to (unless you’re harming someone cause then im def judging) but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (sabrina carpenter reference) be careful and aware of where you’re shifting to. you’re going to a whole ass reality that is just as real as this one. it’s not a dream or your imagination. it’s real. and i’m sure you don’t want real trauma either. i would just hate to see someone discouraged and not wanting to shift again because they saw something they didn’t want to see or had something happen. shifting is such a beautiful thing and shifters are so powerful. so please, thing again on where you want to shift to.
like if you come across a new reality you wanna shift to, ask yourself “do i wanna shift for the characters or do i wanna shift for the plot?”. it works every time i promise you. and if you’re shifting to a show, a movie, or even a game i highly recommend you rewatch/replay it so you know what to expect and what to take precautions to. and if you want to shift for the characters, add them to another and more safer dr. for example, i was debating on shifting to sally face but murder shit like that so i’m deciding to add the characters to a different dr (most likely a ghost hunter dr on that sam and colby type of beat but i haven’t decided yet).
this isn’t me forcing anyone to not shift to whatever dr they’re shifting to i just want you guys to think more about the dr you’re choking because again, your subconsciousness can and will pick up trauma and it’s not going to be fun to live with. anyways i love yall sm, be safe, make sure to drink water, eat something, go outside today, and do whatever makes you happy as long as you aren’t harming you or anyone around you (that’s not a threat btw i just try to make sure that when i say “do what makes you happy” it doesn’t result in violence 💀💀) <33
(also why is jacob elordi in saltburn so fine- i haven’t watched the movie fully but smth abt that eyebrow piercing 😮‍💨)
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readingwiththestars · 4 months
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₊˚⊹♡ IF ONLY I HAD TOLD HER
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["whatever our souls are made of hers and mine are the same"]
| ✮ 3.5 stars |
THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [spoilers for ihhbwm + some spoliers for ioihth]
ok so lemme tell you i had the BIGGEST reading slump ever just as i started to read this. so this review may be a little choppy at some points because i've just pointblank forgotten some parts and don't wanna go back and re-read finny's pov just yet.
i was so on the fence about reading this because on one hand i really wanted to read finny's pov and on the other, complete and utter heartbreak.... yeah....... so anyway i read it.
when i tell you that this book had me ugly crying in the middle of the night. like seriously finny's pov?? fucking broke me. are you kidding me? the way he speaks about autumn? ugh when am i gonna find a guy like finny fr? but seriously this book had me on a rollercoaster of emotions just from the heartbreak knowing whats already gonna happen to finny as he describes how happy he is and how he can't believe autumn loves him back, to the smile i had on my face reading about 'the moms' bickering over baby stuff for autumn.
i will say this now i did expect a little more (hence the rating). i wanted idk more closure at the end there. idk rlly know how to describe it better since its 10 o'clock at night and ive had zero sleep for the past four nights in a row. but yeah i wanted something more. (bitch u wanted finny to be alive)
CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
finny -
*sobbing noises* i could go on a damn rant abt this boy. holy shit. he's just perfect. if i see one person ONE PERSON coming after him istg- he was such a caring sweet person like the pencil??? and always going to the sketchy gas station (i nearly called it a servo then lmao) to get the candy autumn likes?? and always making sure people were safe when he drives?? *cough* apparently not you though sylvie *cough* just ahhh laura when i get you. cause like why'd you have to make him get out of the car, hmmm? lets just compromise and you give me an alternate universe where finny misses the puddle or better yet where sylvie kept her damn seatbelt on.
jack -
tbh i wasn't all that excited to read about jack. (also to be fair i was still sobbing from finny's pov so that probably didn't help) like i seriously just thought it'd be some jock trying to process finny's death by hooking up with alexis (who by the way can go jump up her own ass and die) but we got the whole other side of him where he was genuinely affected by finny's death and really was his best friend. but the way he didn't like autumn way just- yeah. also i saw him and sylvie coming from a mile away like seriously it wasn't very subtle.
autumn -
*sobbing noises increase* autumn my baby girl. i just wanted to jump through the pages and give her a hug. seriously i feel robbed that we didn't get to see a happy autumn. angie and her's friend ship was so precious tho. and i love love LOVE that they bonded over being moms/soon-to-be-moms. im also just gonna say the way we didn't see an ounce of jamie or sasha this entire book made me so happy! i also lowkey wanted to see more of when she was an actual mom? like what would she name the baby? i wanted to see domestic autumn a little more. but i still love her so much and it was so lovely to see her heal <3
QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [spoilers]
"my love for her is the closest thing i have to religion. but it's okay that she doesn't feel the same. i'm fine. i can handle it" - finny
"my devotion to autumn is engraved on my very being. i am in awe of her. i will sit in the stands and cheer her on in life as her most ardent admirer. i know i'll always love her in the same way i know i'll always need oxygen" - finny
"it's all done. finn's story is over. his whole life. that was it. not even nineteen years, and he'll never, ever do anything else ever again. finn won't go off to college or celebrate his birthday. he won't get another hair cut or get the oiled changed in his car. he won't bite a hangnail on his thumb or buy another CD. finn smith has done everything he will ever do. he won't get to be with autumn." - jack
“this baby isn't what's left over from our love story. this baby is our story's continuation.” - autumn
"if only i'd told her that i loved her years ago, i wouldn't be here now." - finny
all in all laura you can pay for my therapy mkay?
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Text
Rory Keaner dom and sub headcannons
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-a/n- hey hey long time no see. i’m back for now but i probably still won’t be writing as much. my friend begged me for this though so i guess all do it
warnings- nsfw, dom and sub rory, normal smut/suggestive stuff
here’s my opinion on dom and sub rory! ALL FAKE AND A PART OF MY IMAGINATION!!
made for @memog1rl
——————
SUB RORY
-sweet
-WHINY OMFG IM TELLING YOU
-honestly, rory is probably a lot more freaky than you’d think.
-some of his kinks:
-mommy OR daddy kink (depending on his partner)
-he likes having his partner handcuff him idk why
-BLINDFOLDS!!
-soft sex because it’s rory. when he’s a sub, he’s all needy and whiny(bratty) and just needs your affection or anything to satisfy his
-PRAISE KINK!!
-DEGRADING KINK!!
-others
-be nice to him, be respectful. even if he likes being degraded, just don’t be extremely mean about it
-he’s a really emotional person and you can tell
-depending on his mood, he can be very BRATTY or OBEYING. just depends on how freaky he’s feeling lmfao
-if he’s bratty, ur in for a ride!!
-if he’s very obeying, make sure you let him know he’s being your good boy
-pet names like baby, babyboy, cutie, sweetie, etc. gets him going!!
-call him a good boy!!! (unless he’s being bad, just don’t be too mean)
—————
DOM RORY
-well shit… have fun!!
-just because he’s on the smaller side doesn’t mean he can’t manhandle you
-he’s still really soft and caring but yk.. yeahhh
-HE IS SO POSSESSIVE OMFGGGGG
-when he’s a dom, it’s usually rough sex unless he’s tired and he just wants to make you feel good, he doesn’t care abt his release
-some kinks:
-BITING!! yk, since he’s a vampire, ofc he has a biting kink duhhh
-not really a blood kink but it is cuz he’s a vamp, but when he kind of sinks his fangs, he’ll always suck the blood duh. but not too much, like barely because he really really doesn’t want to hurt you. if you don’t wanna be bit, he’ll NEVER EVER force you AT ALL
-HICKEYS OMFGGGGG. he loves it so so so much. when you guys are done, you’re definitely COVERED. if you don’t want them noticeable, they’ll be where usually only he can see them. or on your thighs and stomach, maybe even your back. but always expect to have hickeys no matter what
-SHOWER SEX!! he’s a lot stronger than you’d think. so he’s able to hold you so you don’t fall. but you’ll always be left sore no matter what
-others:
-bite marks everywhere. kind of like hickeys but bite marks. sometimes he’ll use fangs but he also no fangs
-when you’re wearing a dress, he’ll make you sit on his lap
-or he’ll 100% always have his arms around you. hands on your thighs, hips, arms, yeah
-he’s a really good brat tamer tbh… so make decisions wisely!!
-he loves when you’re so obeying. like you’re his and he’s glad you’re so sweet and listen to everything he says
-he calls you his good girl (or boy)
-if you’re comfortable with it, he loves calling you his slut. like it’s just natural instinct tbhhhh
—————-
anddd done!! i hope you all enjoyed it and thanks for reading❤️❤️
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