#i just want to make fun of him because he's a big doofus

[quietblueriver]

Did I write an AU based on a McDonald's commercial? Somehow, yes. I...I don't even know, y'all. But here's a hopefully fun, fluffy thing.

*

Ava watches Beatrice walk into the McDonald’s, pristine gray and yellow polo tucked into ironed black pants, and thinks for about the thousandth time that nobody should be able to make a fast-food uniform look that fucking good.

“Yo, Silva,” a pen hits her helmet and falls to the concrete next to her. She doesn’t look but stretches her arm out behind her and flips the bird in the general direction of the voice. “Fuck off, JC.”

“Rude. Stop staring at your girlfriend and get back over here.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” The response is rote at this point, because he makes some comment every fucking time they hang out here (and, yeah, sure, that’s because every fucking time they hang out here Ava stares at Beatrice or talks about Beatrice or daydreams about Beatrice but whatever) but she still winces at herself because she sounds like she’s five and also because she would rather not have to say Beatrice isn’t her girlfriend.

Reaching down to retrieve the pen, which is one he’d stolen from her earlier anyway, the dickhead, she turns back to him and says, “Go home, JC. I’m done for the day.”

“Aw, Ava, c’mon. We just got here.” It’s whiny and Ava’s the smallest bit endeared, as always, because he’s charming and guileless and really actually wants to spend time with her, even after she dumped him pretty unceremoniously when her interest in him flamed out about three weeks into their sort-of relationship. He’s giving her puppy-dog eyes and she rolls her own because he’s absolutely ridiculous. “We’ve been here for two hours, JC. You have study group with Zori soon anyway.”

He looks like he’s going to protest, but Chanel steps in. “Let’s go, doofus.” She wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls and Ava smiles at her gratefully until she says, smirking, “Ava has to go make pathetic heart eyes at the pretty girl over an ice cream cone she doesn’t want.” “Hey, I always want ice cream.” It’s…not a great comeback, and she knows it, sighs when Chanel laughs loudly and turns to walk away with JC, a totally rude, “Yeah right,” serving as her goodbye. Ava’s undoing the strap of her helmet when Chanel nearly yells, still walking toward the bus stop, “Ask her out, you idiot!” Ava flinches and looks toward the entrance of the store, but nobody is there to hear the call-out.

Also, though, she’s totally going to do it. She’s going to ask Beatrice out. Today. Right now. Because she wants to and has wanted to for like six fucking weeks and because on Friday some girl, some stupidly hot girl, had been leaning over the counter and touching her and Beatrice had blushed and Ava had squeezed a ketchup packet so hard she’d ruined JC’s white tee and damaged her own dignity pretty badly in front of Mary and Lilith, who is terrifying and who had looked at her like a fucking Orca who had found a bunch of baby seals to snack on. Literally the only thing that had made the night okay was Camila, an absolute saint, texting Ava later to tell her Beatrice wasn’t going out with the girl even though she’d really tried but “Ava get it together already because she’s not going to wait forever and she shouldn’t! She’s great!” She is. Cam’s right. So. Yeah. It’s time.

Ava runs a hand through her hair and trades her helmet for her favorite cap, putting it on backward and clipping her helmet to her messenger. She takes stock. She’s wearing denim shorts and a black crop-top underneath one of her favorite button-downs, black and covered in colorful shapes. Her right knee is scabbed over from a fall last week and there’s a hole forming at the big toe of one of her black-and-white checked Vans. She wiggles her toe and sees the threads move, the tip of her lime green sock poking through. She looks like herself. She looks good.

She pushes her shoulders back and walks out of the park and into the parking lot, board in hand. It’s a Monday afternoon and school hasn’t let out yet, so when Ava walks in, dropping her board into the little stand by the door, hardly anyone is there. She sees a very stressed woman with three small children by the indoor playground and a dude messing with his phone and eating fries in the corner and that’s it. It’s great, because it means Ava won’t feel bad about trying to keep Beatrice talking to her for as long as possible (she really, really has it bad) but it’s shit because it means she has no buffer time.

And yep, she’s almost immediately greeted with an amused, “Hello, Ava.” Leaning against the drink station and looking like she’s about to have a really good time is Mary. Ava sighs and smiles, waves a little and fortifies herself for the shit she’s about to take. At least Lilith isn’t on today.

For reasons she isn’t totally clear on but thinks boil down to “queer fam helps queer fam get jobs,” this McDonald’s is staffed by like half of her History of Medieval Spain seminar. She’d felt like she was in a very realistic and mundane dream two weeks into the semester when she’d walked in from the new skate park to get an ice cream cone and been served by the hottie with color-coordinated notes who sat next to her on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9:30 to 11am while the also hot but absolutely terrifying woman who sat across from her glaring at everyone filled fry containers and the smoke show who sat next to her manned the drive-in. (How her History of Medieval Spain seminar came to be fucking stacked with hot queer women is less of a mystery—Professor Suzanne “step on my throat” Superion draws a very particular kind of student and Ava couldn’t be happier to fall into that category.)

Mary makes a tv-gameshow-style motion at the soda machine behind her, as if offering a prize. “Thirsty?” She’s so fucking smug, and she’s also depressingly right, which makes it way worse. Ava looks at the children now snacking at the table with their keeper and resists the urge to flip Mary off, sticking her tongue out instead because she’s very mature.

Before Mary can respond, they’re interrupted. “Hello, Ava.” Ava smiles automatically, turns in the direction of the voice so fast she’s at risk of whiplash and blurts, loudly, “Hi Bea!” She bounds over to the counter and leans against it, palms pressed flat and body tilting forward. It’s a genuinely innocent act; she just wants to be closer to Beatrice, who’s standing behind the register. But she watches Bea’s eyes drift down and then guiltily snap back up and she knows that the position combined with her top also does great things for her tits. She preens a little, self-confidence growing, and says, “How’s my favorite ice-cream-magician-slash-Religious Studies-major today?”

It’s a lot, but whatever—she’s way past pretending she’s anything other than a lot and anyone who has an issue can go find less. And anyway, it gets exactly the reaction she wants: Beatrice’s cheeks tinge pink at her enthusiasm, a small, pleased smile appearing on her face like it does nearly every time Ava says something even remotely complimentary. It’s a little weird, because in class Beatrice is like, model student who knows it. She always pays attention and makes points so good that Superion writes them on the board and operates with a general level of confidence that does embarrassing things to Ava. Outside of class, though, Beatrice kind of folds into herself. It seems almost like she isn’t used to people seeing her, remembering her, being glad she’s there, and Ava thinks that’s fucking wild and absolutely wrong.

Beatrice deserves someone who will be loud about her. She thinks of the girl from Friday, with her beautiful cheekbones and her wandering hands, and of Beatrice’s blush, the one Ava did not appreciate seeing directed at someone else even if she was, in the better parts of herself, very glad to see Beatrice getting the attention she deserves. And, yes, totally, Beatrice deserves all of the attention but she wants to be the one who gets Beatrice’s attention. And she wants to be the one who gets to be loud about Beatrice in a respectfully possessive way. If Beatrice is down, of course. The girl in question is still smiling at her, and Ava’s body leans even further forward on instinct, drawn to the stupidly perfect human in front of her. Her palms catch her weight, her feet lifting slightly from the ground. Beatrice’s eyes don’t wander again, sadly, but her head tilts in this way that Ava thinks indicates affection, and she’ll take that, for sure.

Bea’s voice is teasing as she asks, “Do you know a lot of Religious Studies majors?”

Ava grins at her, grins bigger when Beatrice angles just slightly closer, which Ava might think was an unconscious move if Beatrice weren’t maybe the most intentional person on the planet (there are at least four colors in her highlighter system and Ava’s 95% sure she irons her t-shirts). “Nope. But I don’t need to to know that you’re my favorite and the best.”

Mary says, loudly, “I’m going on break.” She passes by them and adds, enjoying herself way too much, “Beatrice, I was just asking Ava here about a drink. I’m sure you can also see she’s incredibly thirsty. Must be the skateboarding.”

Ava glances at the kids, still working through a pile of french fries, and puts her feet back on the ground, angling her body against the register so that she can flip Mary off and keep it shielded from tiny human eyes and from Beatrice. She wants to tell her to lick rust. She says, instead, “Thanks so much for your concern.” Mary keeps her shit-eating grin and saunters outside.

When she turns back to the counter, Beatrice is looking over the register at Ava’s hand in amusement and okay so Ava apparently hadn’t hidden her finger as well as she’d thought but at least Bea seems to think it’s funny instead of off-putting. She had once admonished Ava, totally unironically, when Ava had let fly an admittedly impressive string of curses after realizing she left her coffee sitting on a table in the student union. The tone of that ”Language, Ava” had made Ava’s stomach drop in a very unexpected and pleasant way.

“The usual?” Her eyes are really fucking pretty.

“Yep. Yeah. Please.” As Beatrice turns to grab a cone Ava gets her shit together. Right. Yes. Go. “Actually, Bea.” She turns back holding a cone and smiles, eyebrow raised in question as she waits, and Ava wants to kiss her. “Would you want to go out with me sometime? In, like, a date way?”

Her smile is gone then and she’s blinking slowly and oh shit, did Ava mess up? Was Bea not interested? Was Bea not gay? There’s no way Beatrice hadn’t noticed her flirting because she had literally never been subtle and also Bea had just been staring at her boobs and talked to Ava and smiled at Ava and blushed at Ava more than anyone else? Or anyone else Ava had ever seen. And Cam said! And Mary wasn’t mean enough to let her make an ass of herself, right? Not like this. Lilith, maybe, but…

Ava has become distracted, staring at the kid’s meal toy display to Bea’s right as she spirals, and when she looks back, Beatrice’s mouth is twitching and her eyes are bright with amusement, and oh, shit. “Um,” she tries to run a hand through her hair and hits her hat. Smooth. “So, exactly how much of that did I say out loud?”

“I apologize for so obviously staring at your chest earlier.” Her tone is at least half genuinely apologetic but the rest of it is amused? Delighted? Something in that range and definitely at Ava’s expense and that’s fair given the gay panic monologue she’d apparently just spouted at her crush in her place of work.

“Jesus Christ,” she mumbles as she tilts her head back and rolls her eyes to the ceiling. After a breath she forces herself to look at Beatrice, who is fully smiling now. She throws the cone away and steps toward Ava again and then her hand is on Ava’s forearm, which she had crossed with the other over her chest in what was a totally ineffective attempt at self-preservation. Hard when the attack is coming from your own fucking mouth. Beatrice’s hand is warm and her fingers are calloused and Ava short circuits (whatever fucking circuits are left) at the contact, staring in disbelief until Beatrice says softly, still amused, “I would love to go out with you sometime.”

“Yeah?” It’s the most she can manage. The fingers over her arm squeeze just slightly and Ava knows if Bea pushed even a little bit she’d fall right fucking over. “Yes.” Warm brown eyes meet hers as she takes her hand back. Ava misses the contact immediately.

“Cool. Um, maybe Thursday? Dinner?” Bea doesn’t usually work Thursdays and Ava’s shift at the gym near campus ends at 3pm so she’ll have time to go home and shower and lose it a bit over what to wear but not so much time that she’ll be able to talk herself into a full panic.

“Thursday works perfectly.” Ava pulls her messenger around and rummages for her phone, pulling it out and handing it to Bea. Based on what she knows from class and a lot of longing stares, Beatrice keeps all her stuff as neat and tidy as she keeps her uniform. So, she’s pretty sure her own phone is something out of Bea’s nightmares. One corner of the screen is shattered and scratches dot the rest while the back, an ice blue color Ava really likes, is covered in spidery lines from way too many drops and impacts suffered in Ava’s pocket at the park. Still, she can’t be fucked to get a case because it’s pretty and sleek and smooth(ish, at this point). Beatrice’s lips purse slightly but she says nothing, taking it, entering her number, and calling herself before handing it back. She removes her own phone, in its pristine black case, and immediately creates a new contact.

A group of teenagers comes through the door, loudly, followed closely by Mary, and Ava watches as Beatrice sets her shoulders. It’s very cute. Ava is going to date her. Incredible. “I’ll text you.”

Her smile breaks and her face is suddenly concerned. Ava’s nervous until: “Your ice cream. I completely forgot.”

Ava grins and waves her phone, nearly drops it and is stupidly charmed by the little flinch from Beatrice at the fumble. “Got something way sweeter.”

Beatrice shakes her head and half hides a smile, cheeks pink. Ava’s feeling very proud when she hears a loud groan from Mary, who’s stepping behind the counter again. “Absolutely not, Silva. Get out of here with that.”

Ava smiles at Beatrice one last time before basically skipping out, grabbing her board. She almost eats it three separate times because she’s so distracted on the way home, but she’s not even a little mad about it.

It’s both awesome and kind of torture to see Bea the next morning in class. They sit next to each other, like always, and Ava manages to keep it mostly together, flirting only slightly more than usual and letting her knee press into Bea’s below the table for most of class, the barely-there red under her freckles the only sign she’s even aware of the contact. She works an extra shift on Wednesday because she wants that date money and JC could give a shit about giving it up, only works because his parents make him even though they give him a shit-ton of spending money anyway.

It’s a bummer not to see Bea but she’s also texting her kind of non-stop. She started Tuesday night when she got home:

What’s Dracula’s favorite ice cream?

She didn’t expect a fast response, imagined Bea was busy with the flood of students and families who came in after work and school, so she was a little surprised to see Bea’s name pop up twenty minutes later: Blood orange?

Have you had blood orange ice cream?

No, but I am sure it exists. Not the answer then?

A good guess but no. It’s…

Vein-illa

Three eye roll emojis. And then a truly terrible joke about snails. It had gone on from there, intermittent jokes and also little snippets of actual conversation. It’s still happening Wednesday night as Ava gets ready for bed. She settles and then nearly hurls herself out of bed in excitement when she reads Bea’s latest text: Goodnight, Ava. I’m really looking forward to tomorrow. From most people, it wouldn't be much, might even be discouraging. Ava knows Beatrice well enough at this point to know that from her, it might as well be fifteen firework emojis and twenty-seven exclamation points. She doesn’t bother to play it cool, as fucking if she would do anything other than encourage way more of that, and sends back immediately: Night, Bea. Me too. Really really. Along with three mutlicolored hearts.

She knows something is wrong the next morning when she gets to class because Beatrice is waiting outside of the classroom staring at her shoes and gripping the straps of her backpack (both over her shoulders, tightened evenly) as if they’ve personally offended her. When Ava gets close, Bea looks up and smiles unevenly and says, “I’m so sorry, Ava. I can’t go tonight. Lilith got the flu and I have to cover her shift.”

It sucks, of course, but Bea’s looking at her like she’s done something unforgivable, like she’s waiting for Ava to tell her off. Not for the first time, Ava wonders where exactly Bea comes from and what kind of shitheads she’s used to. She walks closer, slowly, smiles as gently as she can and takes a risk, reaching forward to tuck an escaped strand of Bea’s hair behind her ear and letting her hand skim Bea’s jaw as she pulls back. Bea’s eyes are big and her face is more relaxed, even if she does look a little confused and her hands are still white-knuckling the straps of her bag.

She keeps it simple, pretty sure Beatrice needs it. “Wanna try for this weekend instead?”

A few people file past them into the room and Ava knows they need to go sit or incur the wrath of Superion, whose anger is hotter in theory than in practice. She takes another chance, reaches up to tug at Bea’s left hand and laces their fingers. When Beatrice allows it, flexes her fingers lightly between Ava’s, Ava pulls them into the classroom, smiling a little at Bea’s still-wide eyes. She appears to have come back to herself by the time they reach their seats, squeezing Ava’s hand in an intentional way before taking off her backpack and settling in. As Superion gathers her notes, Beatrice leans closer, pressing her knee into Ava’s as she says quietly, “How does Saturday night work for you?” Ava beams.

Saturday morning she ends up, surprise surprise, at the skate park with JC, riding a little aimlessly and doing some reading for her Russian Lit class while he dicks around in the bowl. When he dips after a few hours, elbowing her just a little too hard as he tells her to have fun with Beatrice that night, Ava smiles like an idiot while he laughs.

Her stomach rumbles around noon and as she eyes the empty drive-thru, she makes a plan. Yeah, okay, so she’s gonna see Beatrice tonight but she wants to see her now and she’s right there and also, Ava’s legit hungry and it’s not even busy. So. She’s gonna get a fucking cheeseburger.

When she pays, Camila grins and Ava shrugs one shoulder as she says, “Cute, Ava.” When she rolls up to the window, Beatrice blinks in surprise and then shakes her head a little and the edges of her mouth tick up. “We’re not supposed to let you order on foot you know.”

Ava takes the burger and pops her board conspicuously. “Four wheels, baby. Totally counts as a vehicle.”

“Pathetic, Silva!” Mary calls over Bea’s shoulder and Ava shrugs again, winking at Bea before she rides off.

It takes her no time to finish the burger, and there are still no cars in the line, so she finds herself ordering fries, smiling at Camila as she laughs and bracing her arms on the window as Beatrice gets her order, her cheeks a shade darker this time around. Ava tips her helmet at Bea and says, as she takes her snack, “I only have fries for you.”

“Get out of here immediately with that.” Mary’s closer this time, swats at Ava from around Bea’s back, but the look on Bea’s face is open and affectionate and she’s so fucking handsome and Ava wants more of it. A lot more of it.

It takes slightly longer to finish the fries but luck is on her side because it’s still slow when she does, so she rolls through yet again. When Beatrice hands her the coffee, both eyebrows raised but still blushing, Ava says, easy, “I got thirsty.”

“You’ve been thirsty, Silva. Go away.” There’s no bite to it, and Mary doesn’t swat at her this time, just turns and walks toward the fryers shaking her head. Turning her attention back to Bea, Ava fidgets a little as she asks, “See you soon?” Bea bites her bottom lip and nods and Ava thanks bisexual Jesus that she only nearly face plants on her way down the drive.

It gets busy, of course, so Ava parks it outside and finishes her coffee and reads. She’s getting ready to go change for her date date date when she hears, “Ma’am. Your ice cream.” Ava’s up in a second, delighted as Beatrice holds the cone out to her and ducks her head. Ava can’t help but stare as she takes it, feels some drip down onto her hand. Beatrice’s hair is down, over one shoulder, and the sun is setting and wow .

“Your cone is going to melt.” Beatrice is looking at her now, a little flustered. “I might, too, if you keep looking at me like that.” Ava takes her hand, carefully but with more confidence than she had earlier that week, and offers, “Walk you to the bus stop? I know it’s traditional to walk someone home after a date but like, I can do before, too, right?” Beatrice brings their bodies slightly closer together as they start toward the sidewalk. “I’d like that."

[moodymelanist]

A Nessian drabble idea: Cassian waking up from anesthesia forgetting who Nesta is and is immediately starts flirting with her because she's so beautiful.

omg YES. this is so them thank you for sending this in I’ve always wanted to write one of these. I’ve also never had my wisdom teeth removed so sorry for any inaccuracies there LOL

Nesta had been hanging out in the waiting room for about an hour when someone finally called her name.

“Nesta Archeron?” one of the nurses called. Nesta quickly gathered her jacket and purse and got up to follow her.

“How’s he doing?” Nesta asked. Cassian had finally taken the plunge and gotten all four of his wisdom teeth removed in one go, and while Nesta knew this was a routine enough procedure, she was still a little antsy about her husband using anesthesia.

“It went well,” the nurse replied, leading Nesta into what looked like the outpatient area. “He’s recovering now. The anesthesia should be wearing off in the next few minutes if it hasn’t already.”

The nurse ran through a list of symptoms to watch out for and general tips to help Cassian’s healing process. Even though Nesta knew she’d be getting a thick packet with all these instructions, she still did her best to commit them to memory. This was her husband they were talking about; she wasn’t going to take any risks with him.

By the time the nurse finished explaining everything, they’d made it inside Cassian’s recovery room. He looked a little funny with his cheeks all swollen and a bandage wrapped around his face, but Nesta was too glad everything had gone well to really make fun of him.

That didn’t stop her from snapping a picture, though. Just because she didn’t intend to use it to tease him later didn’t mean she didn’t want one.

“Hey,” Nesta said softly as Cassian’s eyes fluttered open. “How are you feeling?”

“Hey,” Cassian said back, drawing out the word long and slow. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine,” she managed to reply without laughing. He was clearly still feeling the anesthesia, and she was going to enjoy him being loopy for as long as it lasted. “You ready to go home?”

“With you?” he asked, his face lighting up.

“Of course with me,” she responded with a fond roll of her eyes.

“It must be my lucky day,” he answered, trying to pull his lips into a smirk and failing miserably. “Going home with the most gorgeous woman in here.”

“We go home together every night, you idiot,” she told him with a huff of laughter. “We live together.”

“Then I guess it’s my lucky night every night,” he fired back, though some of the effect was lost by how drowsy he sounded.

Nesta and the nurse exchanged amused glances before they started to prep to get him out of there. Thankfully Cassian was still dressed, so they just had to get him to stand so he could sit back down again in the wheelchair.

“Come on, big guy,” Nesta said, pulling the blankets back from Cassian so he could get out the bed. “Time to come home with me.”

“But…” Cassian trailed off, his face twisting into the most adorable pout as he caught sight of her left hand. “You’re married.”

She stared at him a little incredulously. Was he fucking with her, or was this just the anesthesia? “Yes?”

“I’ve been flirting with a married woman,” he groaned, bringing his hands up to his face and immediately regretting it. “Oh, God, I’m a homewrecker.”

“Jesus Christ,” she muttered under her breath, trying and failing to hold back her laughter. She gently pulled his hands away from his face and tapped the matching gold band on his left hand before raising her voice to add, “Cassian, look. You’re married too.”

“That’s even worse,” he groaned once he noticed his own wedding band. “Holy fuck. I’m a homewrecker and a cheater.”

“No, you doofus,” she replied, still laughing. “We’re married to each other.”

Cassian’s face looked like Christmas had come early. “Really?”

“Really,” Nesta confirmed. “It’ll be six years this October.”

“Oh, wow,” he breathed, completely awed. He reached out and grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together with a dopey look on his face. “Let’s go home, then.”

tag list: @perseusannabeth | @bookstantrash | @charming-butt-insane | @oversizedbats | @melphss | @sv0430 | @podemechamardek | @autumnbabylon | @live-the-fangirl-life | @julemmaes | @that-little-red-head | @jmoonjones | @sayosdreams | @thewayshedreamed | @hiimheresworld | @brieq | @pearlfortears | @swankii-art-teacher | @nerdperson524 | @snickerdoodlechittybangbang | @imsointobooks | @nesquik-arccheron | @sweet-pea1 | @champanheandluxxury | @dustjacketmusings | @mrs-shadowsinger04 | @unlikelypersonalknight1 | @goddess-aelin | @arinbelle | @talkfantasytome | @simpingfornestaarcheron | @duskandstarlight | @letstakethedawn | @vidalinav | @c-e-d-dreamer | @dealfea | @katekatpattywack | @burningsnowleopard | @thatsowlmazing | @avidromancereader | @a-little-disguised | @kale-theteaqueen | @talibunny30 | @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk | @fieldofdaisiies

[rodolfoparras]

Thinking about how sex with Soap is absolutely ridiculous (in the best way possible) 18+, MINORS DNI

“You want head? Fuck yeah “ that’s absolutely not what you had said. You might’ve mentioned that you were a bit turned on while sparring with the other man but he must've heard something else because that’s what he says as he links hands with you and practically drags you away from the rest of the group.

“In here of all places? how naughty” he says scandalously even though he’s the one to shove you into the dark storage room and lock the door behind him.

He pushes you up against the wall, lips eagerly meeting yours as he slots one leg in between your own

“Shh they’ll hear us” he says with a chuckle when a loud moan slips past your lips, but he doesn’t make it any easier for you to suppress your moans as he continually presses kisses on the spots where he knows you’re the most sensitive.

“Do you think they’ve noticed we're gone-“ he asks eagerly as he continues to press kisses on your skin and runs his hands down the length of your body.

But he stumbles over his words once feels you roughly tug at his mohawk “ Oh-oh that’s nice - mind doing that again?” You can’t see him but you know he’s smiling, lips curving against your senestive skin ”Oh fuck yeah just like that” he says when you tug at his hair again “going to blow my load before I even get my cock out”

“Mactavish” you say, feeling already fed up with his teasing.

“Come on I’m just teasing, wouldn't leave you hanging, scout’s promise” he says, placing one last kiss to your skin before you hear him drop to his knees.

His hands are soon on the waistband of your pants but instead of pulling them down, you feel his fingers fumble with the buttons, exasperated huffs coming from the man as he wrestles with taking off your pants. “This really isn’t as easy as it seems” He whines into the fabric.

“Just turn the lights on, you big doofus”

He does just that, and within seconds bright light floods the room. You have to blink to adjust your eyes before you’re able to see Soap on his knees with a prominent pout on his lips “not as fun in the light”

“Get on with it Mactavish,” you say with an eye roll but you can’t help but smile at how ridiculous this man is. He just gives a mock salute followed by a chuckle before he pulls down both your pants and underwear and buries his face between your legs.

At first his mouth feels a bit too much, hands a bit too eager for a gentle touch and you flinch away from him.

“Oh, fuck sorry!” He says, quickly pulling away to check if you’re okay. “Got a bit too excited there” he says smiling sheepishly as he rubs his face against your leg.

His cheeks are all flushed and his hair is a mess from where you’ve tugged at it , and you just can’t help but feel endeared with this man. Your hands grab his shoulders to pull him in for a kiss. He’s caught off guard at first, gasp slipping past his lips but he’s quick to snap out of it and deepens the kiss.

“Head that good, heh?” He teases once he pulls away, out of breath and with the biggest smile on his face.

“I haven’t even made you cum yet” he adds on with a wink before he’s back on his knees, head once again buried between your legs, mouth ensuring you finish.

He’s got a shit eating grin on his face once he comes up again. With the lights shining down on him you can see the lower half of his face glistening, his spit and your arousal smeared across his nose, lips and beard.

Mind you he’d be the first one to comment on the mess on his face, turning to the reflection in the mirror laying around in the storage room as he inspects himself.

“Fuck that’s hot, wanna go again?”

[tinykittendelusion]

Seventeen as Bollywood Characters

a/n: i keep seeing people do this on Instagram and Twitter and i wanted to try it too

tw: a bit of swearing.

Scoups - Ram Prasad Sharma (Main Hoon Na)

Okay so you remember how srk was all older brother in this movie yeah scoups for sure. Also I love the dynamics between Ram and Lakshman (Very scoups and dino also maybe mingyu coded) . Plus i just think he's a shy awkward dork in everyday life but would have this alt cool persona.Also him being an idiot in love? SIGN ME UP!

Jeonghan - Prem Sharma (APKGK)

Prem was a sweetheart in Ajan Prem ki Gazab Kahani. He is so jeonghan coded cause like he wants everyone to be happy duh he's the president of Happy club but he's also mischievous and just ready to bend the rules to make people he cares for happy. Comes off as this cocky idc person but is the biggest softie.

Joshua - Raj Malhotra (DDLJ)

Okay so you remember Srk with the ukele in the mustard fields YEAH THAT'S JOSH. Except he's most probably playing Sunday morning. He's the gentleman (Sometimes) who is a little crazy. Very Raj coded he's fun and flirty and funny but can also be serious if the situation demands it. A big family guy and your family's approval matters a lot. The only difference is that he'd charm your parents in seconds no Jaa simran Jaa for you your parents approved 10 mins after they met him.

Jun - Jai Singh Rathore (Jaane tu ya jaane Na)

Jun is a baby but ykw so is jai. Jai is the pinnacle of the imran Khan romcom universe he's sweet caring funny and wierd oh and also oblivious which also describes jun very well.Hes in love with his bestfriend (LOVE THAT HE CALLS HER MEOW MY CAT!JUN AGENDA IS WINNING)but doesn't realise that until she starts seeing someone else I love the jealousy and confusion .Plus this whole thing plays into my childhood best friends to lovers trope i see jun as.

Hoshi - Rocky Randhawa (Rocky Aur Rani ki Prem Kahani)

This Outfit Ik Hoshi would love it. Okay Hoshi is a himbo he's cute funny and a little bit dumb(lovingly) and that's very Rocky coded. Also I just see him as this doofus in love who will do anything and everything to keep you happy. also I just want him to say "handle with care I'm a fragile". Very emotionally intelligent.He may not know much about current affairs but he does know how to make you smile.

Wonwoo - Rohit Mehra (Koi Mil Gaya)

Okay hear me out on this one.I started thinking about parallels here but all began with that meme Maa mujhe sab dikh Raha hai but Rohit and wonwoo are pretty alike they are kind sensitive but confident people who love and care openly. He may be shy but he'll express his care and affection anyways. Also his jaadu is dino.

Woozi - Arjun Saluja (ZNMD)

They both are hot workaholics. Also just like Arjun learnt to live a little and enjoy life on the Spain trip I feel woozi did that during the Nana tour. They both can come off as the I don't like fun grumpy types but once they get into the mood of relaxing and having fun they become the life of the party. Both have that annoying friend who they hate lovingly (Hoshi and Imraan).

Dokyeom - Rohan Raichand (K3G)

This GIF is very Dk coded. I feel Raichand brothers are very puppy coded but they are puppies like dokyeom and not mingyu (I'm not making sense am i?). He's the younger brother he's hot he's funny and he's a tease. This is Also because I feel dokyeom and Hrithik Roshan just look alike. Also very emotional likes just keeping everyone happy. Boyfriend Material through and through.

Mingyu - Adithya Kashyap (Jab we met)

I know what you guys are thinking that Adithya is this quieter soft character whereas mingyu is a big happy clingy puppy. Ik but I also have a theory so basically we see Adithya being all sad because shit has happened in his life but after geet heals him he's this happy and joyful person which makes me think that it was how he was before he felt let down by everyone and that happy joyful persona he has is like mingyus mingyu is optimistic and kind and caring he also is emotionally intelligent and very aware of what people around him are feeling and that's very Adithya coded.

Minghao - Aman Mathur (Kal ho na ho)

Yes. Minghao has that I'll do anything for Love vibe. While aman may be more outgoing I feel at core that Minghao and Aman are same people. Also Minghao seems like the person who will fall for Naina but then help her call for someone else.Makes people delulu but are very anti delulu duo.

Seungkwan - Baburao Ganpatrao Apte (Hera Pheri)

Honestly at first i considered Meenamma(Chennai Express) or Poo(K3G) for seungkwan but then i remembered Baburao. I'll fight for the BSS X HERA PHERI UNIVERSE. Also I feel they both have the same level of sass. Also the way Baburao and Raju behave ? that's Hoshi and seungkwan right there. Fucking funny both of them.

Vernon - Ranchhodas Chanchal (3 Idiots)

Normally I'd say BSS are all the 3 idiots aka Rancho, Farhan and Raju but I feel Vernon is a lot more like Rancho. He's smart intuitive and loyal to a fault person. Also I feel the whole thought process that Rancho had for learning ? yeah that's Vernon he learns what he enjoys, he's chill he's laid back just like Rancho. Plus i think he'd also wonder whether the nose comes in the middle while kissing.

Dino - Lakshman Sharma (Main hoon Na)

Okay I present you this gif. The minute i saw it my first thought was how dino coded the character is. The character is this younger brother who comes off as this non caring idgaf about anything but having fun but is actually very sad emo at times which I feel is also dino dino does things for the plot but he's a very old soul at heart. Plus I love the dynamics between lakshman and ram aka scoups and dino so heheh ig?

a/n: Desi brainrot is here guys tell me what y'all think

[cjsarchive]

Can you write some Sam smut? If you aren't comfortable writing smut, then some Sam fluff? I'd really appreciate it!

So, I’m asexual lol. Because of that, I feel like any smut I write is gonna be pretty bad since I myself don’t experience sexual attraction😭 I wrote this Sam fluff instead and I hope you enjoy it!

Food Fight! Sam x Reader

“Ugh! Can you just let me win one time?!” I shouted in frustration at the tv. Sam laughed as he made it over the finish line in first place. I finished barely in 7th place. “My character won’t do what I tell it to do!”

“Typical, blame the game.” Sam smirked at me.

“One more round.” I pursed my lips in determination. Sam gave me an amused smile,

“Fine. Have fun losing again.” I ignored him and sat upright, my whole focus on Mario Kart.

At the start of the next round, I managed to take the lead at the start. “I’m in the lead!” I cheered.

“Don’t get too excited.” Sam chuckled. My character was hit with a turtle shell and I very quickly went from 1st to 4th place.

“No! Someone hit me!”

“That was me, doofus.” He reached over and briefly ruffled my hair. I growled. The game eventually ended and I finished in 5th place while Sam won 1st again.

“Damn, this is starting to get a little embarrassing.” Sam said teasingly. I playfully pushed him as he fell back on the couch laughing. He sat up, put his arm around my shoulder, and kissed my forehead. I sighed.

“I don't know why I’m so bad at this game.”

“I keep telling ya you gotta drift!”

I chucked and smiled at him, “Whatever,” I set the controller down, finally accepting my defeat after 10 losses in a row. I fanned myself. “All that yelling got me hot,” I thought for a second, “I want ice cream.”

“You wanna make some sundaes?” We bought stuff to make sundaes a few days ago and have yet to make them.

“Yeah, let’s do it!”

We went to the kitchen and got out two big bowls, the ice cream, sprinkles, chocolate syrup, caramel syrup, marshmallow syrup, bananas, cherries, whipped cream, and Sam got some peanut m&ms for his sundae.

“How bout another competition?” I asked Sam. He gave me a smirk and listened, “Whoever can make the tallest sundae in 10 minutes, wins. And it has to be completed, toppings and all.”

“What will I get when I win?” Sam asked with a cocky grin on his face.

I rolled my eyes, “Winner gets to pick the movie we watch while we eat our ice cream. And no powers,” I said sternly, “Deal?” I held out my hand for him to shake.

He smiled his toothy grin and shook my hand, “Deal.” I smiled at him.

I grabbed my phone and set the timer for 10 minutes, “Alright, let’s go!” I started the timer and we both immediately started scooping the ice cream. We had tubs of vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry ice cream. I struggled to scoop the still frozen ice cream. I groaned in frustration, “It's gonna take at least five minutes just to scoop all the ice cream.”

“That must suck.” Sam chuckled. I looked over to see he already had a considerable amount of ice cream in his bowl.

“Hey! I said "no powers!”

Sam laughed at my shocked face, “I’m not using my powers, doofus!” It finally dawned on me that, even without powers, Sam was still way stronger than me. There was no way I would win, but I was still gonna put up a fight.

I grabbed the chocolate syrup and gushed it in his direction. He stepped back and looked down at his shirt in surprise.

I laughed, “Oops! Sorry!” While he was stunned for a moment, I took the opportunity to scoop as much ice cream in my bowl as possible.

“Oh, its like that?” I heard him say. I didn’t get much ice cream in my bowl before I felt something drizzle on my back. I quickly turned around to see Sam holding the caramel syrup. He smiled innocently before it sprayed more and it landed on my cheek. He quickly went back to his sundae. I smiled cheekily as a silly idea came into my mind. As subtle as I could, I grabbed the whipped cream and sprayed a big glob in my hand. “What are you doing, doof-“ as Sam turned around, I shoved the whipped cream in his face. I bent over and held my stomach in laughter as he stood there frozen in shock.

“I know how much you love whipped cream.” I barely said through my laughter. Sam wiped his eyes and he began laughing wildly.

“Oh its on now!” He grabbed two handfuls on ice cream from his bowl and threw them in my direction. I gasped as two big stains appeared on my shirt. I grabbed both the marshmallow and chocolate syrup and fired both at him as he threw more ice cream at me.

Soon enough, we were both covered in ice cream cream and dripping with toppings when the timer went off. Its then when we realised what we were supposed to be doing. Sam and I took a moment to assess the situation. There was no ice cream in our bowls, the kitchen was a mess, and we were a complete mess. I looked back up at Sam and started laughing so hard my stomach started hurting. Sam eventually joined in on my laughter, “Guess we got a bit carried away,” he chuckled. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I settled into his arms around me. A blush started to spread across his face before he leaned down and kissed me sweetly on my forehead, then the lips, “So, who won?”

“I say you won. I became a bit of a sore loser,” I smiled sheepishly. He smiled kindly at me and rested his head on my forehead, our foreheads sticking together from the mess. He sighed happily.

“I love you, doofus.” He said softly. I leaned up and kissed him again.

“I love you too, Sam.”

“I mean it. You make me so happy.” We got lost in each other’s eyes for a moment before he took another look around the kitchen then looked back at me.

“Shit, we really fucked this place up,” He sighed, “Alright then, I’ll clean up the kitchen.”

“I’ll go get the shower ready for us,” I kissed him on the nose as his blushed slightly intensified.

[etaindelaserna]

Hello....Because you also love shipping, can I ask your thoughts on these ships : GoYuu & SatoSugu (JJK), NaruSasu (Naruto) and ZuTara (ATLA)?

Hey! You can ask me anything✨

Let’s see…

GoYuu

Personally I haven’t dived into this ship yet but I can see why people are interested in it: whenever Gojo and Yuuji are together they seem to share on brain cell and are just one big doofus force to be reckoned with.

Him and Yuuji have the same energy and they just click on that level. There is no awkwardness, no uncertainty, they just understand one another. Also they don’t seem to have any concept of personal space whatsoever with each other. Then there is the fact that they have had their fair share of losing important people to “the dark side” and being helpless to stop it. I can see Gojo looking at Yuuji and comparing him to Suguru. And because Yuuji isn’t losing faith in his purpose as a jujutsu sorcerer, it might help Gojo to make his peace with the past. I see them as a fluffy ship for the most part. Gojo perfect at everything being completely smitten with and supportive of Yuuji who has to try very hard. Then there is also the sensei/student dynamic and, if we bring Sukuna into the mix, a lot of animosity from Sukuna towards Gojo (with potential for situational comedy) and possessive behaviour from both Gojo and Sukuna. Also: Gojo is a shameless flirt while Yuuji is just cute and a ray of sunshine and maybe even wouldn’t realise it when he is flirted with. There are so many story building ideas and questions you can do with this ship.

SatoSugu

It does have a lot of NaruSasu vibes for me and yet SatoSugu works where NaruSasu failed. It is able to pull off comedy, fluff, tragedy and sexy with ease, which as a combination can be very addictive. Two characters who have a very deep connection and friendship driven apart by circumstances and the clash of their ideals. That’s heartbreaking stuff. There are so many What-if? questions you can ask about their story. Suguru left a wound that will never really heal. Also: they are both ridiculous handsome and talented characters whom I can see bickering about the most unimportant things just for the fun of it and because they cannot control their temper and ego around each other. The shameless flirt and the thoughtful one, the overachiever and the one, who can’t follow. I think they work pretty well as a ship because they have got so many dynamics you can explore.

NaruSasu

One of the big, popular Naruto ships that never clicked for me. Maybe because I didn’t like Sasuke much. Maybe because Kishi was just about to develop their friendship when Sasuke left. Sasuke’s motives never resonated with me and that’s probably why I had a hard time understanding why Naruto wanted to bring him back. It seemed due to obligation rather than friendship. BUT I can still somewhat see the appeal. Naruto yearning, thinking he can save him, fix him, wanting to show him that their friendship is enough, that he doesn’t have to seek vengeance, that love is worth feeling and that without loss or pain there can be no love to begin with. Also: they are constantly at each other’s throats, they both have grown up for the most part without their parents, they can relate to each other because of their trauma AND although they have different personalities they do share the same kind of humour. Much to work with but I never saw potential for something more than friendship. Even “friendship” was a hard pill for me to swallow the moment Sasuke tried to kill Naruto and Sakura. I see the drama, the tragedy, even the brotherly aspect of their bond, but not romance.

ZuTara

The classic tale of “from enemies, to reluctant allies, to friends, to we have deep but also complicated feelings for each other”. It’s the “love that was meant to be but never came to be” trope. And I’m always down for it.

Their chemistry was off the charts from day one. Both are incredible fierce, stubborn and loyal. They played well off each other due to the circumstances of Katara’s parents having been killed by the Fire Nation. I always got the impression that there was a deep connection and understanding passing between them every time they met. Almost like a constant “What if…?”, a “I understand where you are coming from but I still have to do this”. There was a certain something in the way Zuko looked at her. I never exactly understood why it wasn’t meant to be. Him throwing himself in front of her to protect her from the lightning?! I was a goner. They gave me the Dramione feels but with much more fan service in the canon storyline. In my head they’re endgame. End of story.

[someonexsomeone]

From the Start

Title: From the Start

Author: SomeonexSomeone

Word Count: 2.7k

Pairing: Mark Lee x nb!Reader

Summary: It's so hard to love your childhood friend, especially when he's a big ol' idiot.

Authors Note: Day 10!! So...you may have noticed I missed the release. I'm actually so sad about it, but there was so big changes in my life recently that had priority over this unfortunately. I still want to complete it though, for my own sake as well as the promise that I would, so here it is! Only one more left to go!

If there is one thing you can always count on, it’s your best friend Mark. He’s the type of person who would willingly make a fool of himself to make others happy, who would give you his jacket even when he’s cold himself, who would gently pat your hair when you’re having a bad day because there was nothing he could say that would make it better so he makes sure you know he’s there for you without words. He’s a dork at the best of times, and a doofus in the worst, making fun of you without knowing but always ready to apologize when he realizes. He’s gentle and kind, stupid and naive, and the best friend you’ve ever had. The longest, if you’re keeping track, not really knowing a world without Mark in it.

So, naturally, with all his good qualities, you’re head over heels in love with him. And, naturally, since he’s so consistent, he’s too much of an idiot to realize.

You kind of thought it was obvious. I mean, all his friends seem to know it, though they are smart enough to only tease you when he’s not around, and even your parents have a sneaking suspicion that your journal holds a lot more hearts than you’re letting on. Your teachers, whether they do it because they know you like him or because you’re friends, always let you pair off, even going as far as just handing off assignments without a word to one of you when the other is out sick. Attached at the hip, the cause of many failed jealous relationships, your friendship with Mark is something you’d overcome any hardship to keep close. And, sure, should you be getting sick of his constant dismissal of other people’s jabs at your friendship being more? Should you feel dread in your chest, the unspoken rejection that weighs on your heart? To be honest, you hardly notice it, because as soon as it starts to get a little unbearable, Mark just has to flash you a smile, a special secret smile that softens his whole face and relaxes his shoulders, and your heart jolts alive all over again. It should be unfair, the way he’s able to elicit this love-at-first-sight feeling just by looking at you, but that’s Mark for you. An angel in disguise.

Even when he gets into relationships (because, let’s be honest, Mark is such a catch it would be weird if he’d never been in one before) there’s never an ounce of doubt in your friendship despite the new addition. Jaemin jokes that all potential significant others have to pass a test in order for Mark to ask them out, one that involves them trying to get close to you in order to garner his approval, the very same one that has Mark shyly asking your opinion on them seemingly the day before you either see Mark asking them out or start to ignore them. You blush, always with his teasing, but Jaemin’s words seem to have some truth to them because anyone you have a neutral or negative opinion of disappears from Mark’s side almost immediately after. And, from the goodness of your heart (damn you, heart), you always give him your honest and true feelings, even when you know this means Mark will start dating. Haechan can’t believe you, it’s honestly the thing you two fight about the most, and always yells at you the next day for not telling Mark your feelings.

“He eats out of the palm of your hand and you lead him right to someone else!” he yells, crossing his arms with a glare on his face before grabbing you, hugging you close, and taking you out to ice cream despite your protests. Honestly, you want Mark to be happier than anything, even if it means him being with someone else. Haechan, for all of his loud complaints, never says anything as you cry into your bowl, sniffles hidden behind bites of your frozen consolation prize. His glare is fierce, but his hand is gentle as it strokes your hair. “Honestly. What are we going to do with you?”

Mark, at least, has never made you feel excluded or unwanted when he does have a relationship. He’s sweet, inviting you along before blushing bright red when you point out that he could use that outing opportunity for a date with his new significant other instead of a hang out with you tagging along. The common occurrence means he always tries to make it up to you, despite never having plans in the first place, but if it means more time with Mark you jump at the chance. His friends make up for his absence a lot, pulling you along even when you insist you’re fine, which inevitably means that Mark having a partner often coincides with times your close-knit group of friends is closer than ever. You didn’t even realize it yourself until Chenle pointed it out.

“What are you talking about?” you questioned one day over a game of Monopoly. Somehow you were roped in, once again, to join the boys to hang out in Jeno’s basement while Mark went on a date with his newest girlfriend, a boring but otherwise sweet girl named Miyeong. You were sort of blindsided by this newest partner as you had never seen Mark look in her direction, let alone talk to her in order to develop feelings. While he was out, Chenle coerced you into the game, batting his big eyes in a way you could never say no to. You should have realized you were a sucker when Jaemin was the only other person to say yes, the other boys tearing through packages of snacks and watching some random movie. So far, Chenle had over half of the board bought out, and Jaemin was about 2 dollars away from bankruptcy.

“You’ve never noticed it?” At your confused face, he scoffed. “Come on. There’s no way.”

“They didn’t even notice Mark wouldn’t date someone until he got their approval. How could you possibly think-” Jaemin cut himself off, squawking when he realized he just landed on Go To Jail.

“That was karma,” you snickered, dodging the flying money and Jaemin threw his arms in the air in defeat. “Besides, if Mark didn’t like them, why would he even go out with them?”

“So that he has an excuse to hang out with you more.”

“Chenle. What on earth are you talking about? Mark and I literally hang out all the time?”

“Yeah, but that’s for homework and stuff!” You scoff, moving your piece and narrowly avoiding Chenle’s housed yellow space. As you pick of 10 dollars for winning the lottery, Chenle stares at you intensely. “You really don’t know?”

“No, I really don’t know.”

“Yeah, enlighten the room!” Jeno calls from his spot on the couch. The others have all stopped what they're doing in order to look at you two.

“Really? No one else noticed?”

“Chenle, I don’t think this is a good idea-” Jisung starts before his best friend cuts him off.

“You never made the connection between his dates and your dates?” You blush but otherwise shake your head. Chenle looks at you like you’re stupid, which honestly, sort of feels like it with the way he’s stating things like they were so obvious. “When you and Mark hang out, what do you normally do?”

“I guess it depends.”

“But, on average, would you say you go over to his or he comes over to yours and you guys do homework?”

“Sometimes, I guess. We watch movies when we don't.”

“Wait, but didn’t you just go to that art installation last weekend?” Jaemin asks, the game all but abandoned.

“Well…yeah. He said he saw a poster for it and wanted to go.”

“But he didn’t invite his literal girlfriend who he was hanging out with at the time?”

“What? He was hanging out with his girlfriend?” Chenle sighs, slapping his forehead.

“Yes, idiot. Mark was on a date and saw a poster for something to do and wanted to go with you.” You pause, but otherwise don’t make the connection. “Okay…what about the Fair?”

“What about it?”

“Mark took you to a Fair, a decidedly romantic and very obvious date spot, instead of his friends or even his girlfriend. And! He waited until the end of the summer to take you instead of the beginning.”

“But he knew I wanted to go but hadn’t been able to,” you defended.

“But why didn’t he go? Why didn’t he go twice? It wasn’t like there was anything stopping him from doing it.” You sighed, pinching your eyes.

“Chenle, can you just get to the point?” Chenle looked at you in disbelief, looking around the room to get some backup but was only met with a bunch of confused faces.

“Are you guys serious? Do I have to spell it out for you?”

“Not all of us are creepily perspective,” Jeno quipped, which earned him a glare.

“Mark wants to take you on dates but doesn’t know how to do it without an excuse, or because he’s extremely stupid, and the one he’s obviously decided on is ‘making it up to you’ when he has to hang out with his significant other.”

You couldn’t help it. You laugh, and honest to goodness laugh that shakes your whole body and makes tears spring to the corner of your eyes. You laugh shrill enough that it echoes in the room, the only sound in the room, really, because Chenle has managed to stun the rest of the people in it. So you laugh, loudly in disbelief, because if you didn’t you’d be worried about the possibility, no matter how small, that Chenle might be right. And that’s just too much to process, especially since the only reason you’re hanging out with them now and are able to have this conversation is because Mark is on a very real date with his very real girlfriend. Mark dating only so he could ask you out? What kind of stupid logic is that?

“I’m serious!” Chenle yells after a minute, crossing his arms, and if he was standing, you had no doubt he would be stomping his foot like a child.

“Chenle, be serious. How could you have possibly made that connection?”

“He has a point,” Renjun muses, stopping your laughter instantly. There’s something about the way he stares off that has you on edge.

“What? Renjun, come on, not you too.”

“No, I think I agree with him,” Haechan pipes up. At your disbelief, he continues, “I mean, think about it. Aren’t you hanging out with him tomorrow?”

“Well,,,yeah? It’s a Saturday?”

“And he’s taking you to the new exhibit at the aquarium.” Before you could protest, he continued, “Do you even know what he’s doing right now with his girlfriend? They’re taking a walk around the park.” 

“A walk in the park is very romantic.”

“At 5 o'clock on a Friday? Yeah, if you’re going to dinner after, but Mark is coming here soon so we can watch the newest episode of A2K. There’s no way that’s enough time for a romantic dinner, let alone a casual date at a cafe.”

“What, so Mark’s just a bad boyfriend?”

“No! Well, yes.” Haechan sighs, getting up in order to crouch in front of you, placing a hand on your shoulder. “I think Chenle has a point. Mark is an idiot, in that we can all agree, but there’s an obvious difference in how he treats you when he has a partner and when he’s single.”

“So, what?” You stand, torn between being furious and being embarrassed, nearly knocking Haechan onto his ass. At the moment, you didn’t know which was directed where, but either way it made your face burn and your hands sweat profusely. “He’s just been taking me on dates when he has a partner because..what? Does he want to date me? Don’t be ridiculous! If he wanted to date me, why wouldn’t he just ask instead of going out with someone else?”

“Maybe he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship?” Jaemin offers.

“And instead everyone thinking he’s a cheater is better?” You can’t help your voice raising. There was no way, absolutely no way, your friends were sitting in front of you telling you the person you had been in love with since you held hands in Kindergarten returned your feelings.

“You know Mark better than any of us,” Jaemin rose at his words, taking your hand gently in order to get you to look at him. “You know his heart is good, but his actions don’t always make sense. Especially when it comes to his own feelings. Don’t you remember how he wanted to impress Sasha Kim in Middle School and ended up giving her a black eye? It’s like his logic flies out the window.”

“But what if you’re wrong?” You couldn’t help the small tremor in your voice. It was so quiet you could hear the shakiness of your breath as you exhaled, mimicking the way your hand was trembling. Jaemin held your hand tighter, pulling you slowly closer to try and comfort you. “It could ruin everything, and what I have with Mark is special. I can’t accept-”

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the loud noise across the room. Everyone whipped their head around, comical if it was any other situation, horror on their faces as they made eye contact with a very red-faced Mark. At his feet, the pile of precariously stacked magazines now collapsed, knocking along with it the bucket of Jeno’s Grandmother’s gardening tools. You paled instantly, pulling your hand away from Jaemin’s to cover your mouth. Mark? Here?

“Oops,” Mark said sheepishly, quickly leaning down to gather the mess he somehow made in a matter of seconds. Minutes? Your dread only grew with the realization that Mark very well could have been there this whole time and heard everything. No one dared speak as Mark picked everything up. Once he finished, Mark ran his hands through his hair, an embarrassed smile on his face. “Well, hopefully, that was embarrassing enough to distract from their rejection, eh, Jaemin?”

You didn’t dare look at anyone’s face before you snatched your bag from the floor, walking as fast as you could while dodging the various hands that tried to stop your escape. You couldn’t even look Mark in the eyes as he whispered your name as you dashed past him, too embarrassed to give in like you normally would at that soft voice of his. Jaemin called your name too, followed by Haechan, then the rest of the boys, but it was too late. The upstairs door was already slamming shut, cutting off their voices, and hiding your figure as it disappeared down the street.

Your phone was blowing up with texts by the time you got home. Jaemin was worried, Haechan was cursing, Jisung was apologizing, Chenle was laughing, Jeno was confused, and Renjun, above all, was asking how you were doing. You sent him a reply, but were too embarrassed to respond to the rest, flopping down on your bed in the most dramatic way possible, already dreading the message you would have to craft to get out of hanging out with Mark tomorrow.

How could you face him with the thoughts that were swirling through your head? If Chenle was right, and that was a big if, there were way too many questions you couldn’t live without knowing. Why would Mark act like that? How could he have a significant other when he wanted to date you? Did he know about your feelings? That question made your face burn.

If Mark did feel anything for you, how could he act so normal around you? Being his best friend, you were there for every one of Mark’s crushes, the big ones and the small ones, and he always had the same tell no matter what; a burning face, the failed smooth moves, and the ultimate discussion with you about his feelings. Your heart was beating out of your chest, far too excited about the prospect that maybe he did have feelings for you, and far too scared about the possibility that he never would.

A few hours later, your phone binged! with the special sound reserved for Mark’s messages. Your phone nearly slipped out of your hands when you read his text.

From: Markle

Are you still down for our date tomorrow? I think we have some things to talk about haha

______________________________________________________________

masterlist  l What is Laufeyfest? l Laufeyfest masterlist

[eegasleega-will-change-this-l8r]

Uhhhh sure Aloysius interpretation post why not

So Aloysius is a hilarious character to me, the guy's just a plain jerk with no redeeming qualities whatsoever (even Fassad loved his mouse and had a family that cared about him) And then after being an awful guy for the entire game he just ends up completely bankrupt sobbing in a bar about his misfortunes while his wife is cozying up to Mr. Prettyman back at home

So whenever he gets involved in any of my musings I'm pretty much invariably expanding on this and using him as a punching bag (literally so in one of my last posts)

So, basically, Aloysius is a big, insecure loser He's always been this whiny doofus desperate for respect and wealth, but not being able to get it He and Lardna were probably, like, high school or college "sweethearts," meaning he was obsessed with her (popular rich girl that would instantly raise him to the popular circle) and she liked the way he would do literally anything she asked him to with no self-respect whatsoever

Predictably enough, their marriage wasn't particularly cozy Just ended up together largely because it's the expected course for straight couples and they had to keep their respectable image Had kids because that's the next step that comes with that.

(I made this stupid thing for Valentine's Day this year, guess posting it here works)

And so the Minch family begins, and Aloysius becomes increasingly more frustrated with the lack of respect he's earned in life His kids are ungrateful drains on his wallet that don't listen to him unless he raises his fist at them His wife never paid him any mind before of course, but they were a husband and wife now and she should be obeying him like a proper spouse, right? r-right, honey? But she seemed even less interested in him than she ever had before, and now even seemed like she resented him for tying her to this family. When all he's ever tried to do is make her happy! The nerve! And none of his neighbors respected him, despite being one of the richest and most traditional families in town. Heck, he even tried to buy the next-door neighbor's gratitude with a loan, but now whenever he brings it up that idiot father just laughs and slaps him on the back like they're pals or something!

So yeah, lots of tension around the Minch household. Aloysius feels completely spiteful about how he perceives his status, and is desperate to have someone below him on the social ladder that he can push around - this usually ends up being his children, because he's a horrible human being

So this all changes when his son runs off one day

This is at first infuriating - oh yes, yes, I'm worried sick too, of course - until he gets a phone call from Porky. At first he starts screaming at him, until Porky tells him where he is and he falls completely silent. Porky's made it big. He's in the city now with one Mr. Geldegarde Monotoli, and the two of them are now the richest men in Eagleland. How'd you like to be our new business partner, Dad?

Aloysius drops everything and packs his bags with stars and dollar signs in his eyes, hightailing it to Fourside without even telling his wife or younger son. He's finally getting the life he deserves, and his old one can rot.

So Aloysius Minch is living it up, fawning over Porky and Monotoli and profiting off their success, living it up in absolute luxury and success without having to lift a finger himself

I have this WIP fic about Porky and Monotoli that Aloysius gets to have a role in, so I have a lot of super fun stuff with him here but I shouldn't get into all of it if I don't want it to be spoiled before I ever actually release it

Long story short, one day the Monotoli Corporation's stock plummets to the depths of Hades, no warning whatsoever Aloysius is woken out of one of his daily naps and nearly has a heart attack when he find out that all the riches he invested are completely gone

Immediately he flips out and starts looking for Porky to scream at him, but his son is nowhere to be found. He's fled to who-knows-where, and apparently had the foresight to liquidize all his riches before the crash He turns to shout at Monotoli instead who's now just as powerless and pathetic as he is, but (this is one of my fanfic ideas slipping through) Monotoli grows a spine for the first time in his life and throws Aloysius out

So Aloysius runs sobbing to the bar to drink his sorrows away, too ashamed to go home where his wife and that other kid are probably furious at him, and that's him at the end of the game

I think when he eventually does go back, she's probably hardly noticed how long he's been gone at all. Much to his displeasure, she's been having a positively lovely time with Mr. Prettyman. He's so good with money, do you know? And what about you? Did you bring anything back from your little trip?

Unsurprisingly they get a divorce not long after. Lardna gets practically everything, Aloysius moves into a waitwaitwaitwaitwait i was just gonna say an apartment but wouldn't it be funny if he moved into the seaside house in the game my god that'd be hilarious ahhhhhh and it could be Ness who sells it to him too holy fudge that's so good

So yeah, Aloysius is a pathetic jerk with insecurities that he takes out on his kids, and when he ends up burning bridges to go and short-sightedly chase his fortune, it completely crashes and burns and he ends up far lower than he was to begin with

[heavenbarnes]

Omg omg were her like unexpected scary dog privilege gf and buy a big softie like a rottweiler (idk why I'm mentioning a type of dog breed I am a nerd and work with dogs so I thought of them of how scary they seem but they're not) and what about how you're not like that with anyone else but sugar brings out a different side to you that no one has ever seen, but ur such a simp for her and Richie makes fun of it but shuts up when sugar calls him out and he does that 😑 face and walks away. Carmy tries to shout at you sometimes and Sugar randomly pops up and has a hand on her hips and is like "bear, no." In a stern tone that no one wants to hear from her. Syd sometimes joking makes a comment of how you such a simp for her (maybe everyone is stressed and just going at each other) and u shrug, not really too hurt by her comment as it's true and sugar pops up and is like "Syd."

She's always there 🥺 (Pete is lovely but I'm taking ur girl) and in this au she's ours.

having an unmistakable crush on sugar from the moment you start at the restaurant and she knows about and uses it to her full advantage!

being her scary-dog-privilege (i’m projecting) going out with her when she needs to do pick ups and standing over her shoulder with a scowl to make sure nobody tries to fleece her!

you’re friendly with everyone in the kitchen but not a pushover, unless it’s sugar and then whatever that woman asks of you she’s getting!

richie getting on your nerves about “simping” (you want to kill whoever taught him that word) for sugar and being such a “simp” and sugar shuts it down because only she gets to tease you like that!

but when syd jokes that you’re a total simp for sugar you deny it once until you hear her calling your name and you’re turning on a dime in the direction of her voice. syd shakes her head but you’re shrugging because- what’s the use in denying it!

sugar coming into the kitchen and not realising everyone is highly strung, getting snapped at for no reason by her brother or maybe richie and immediately scary-dog is back on. you’re walking her to carmy’s office before coming back and threatening to have their heads for speaking to her like that!

when you go with her for pickups, maybe she needed to pick up furniture? and she asked if you’d come too? so now you’re following her around the store with something heavy across your shoulders so she doesn’t have to lift a finger!

losing sugar in the store when you went back to grab her something and by the time you find her again, she’s being chat up by some bozo. newsflash asshole, she’s only got room for one idiot in her life and you’re looking at them! so you pull your usual routine of manifesting over her shoulder and when she realises you’re there she gives a nice “thank you, sweetheart!” before completely forgetting about that doofus!

finding her in her car outside the restaurant, teary-eyed and you’re knocking on the window telling her to scooch over. you drive her home without a second thought and after you walk her inside you hear her quietly ask if she can tell you about her shitty day!

being sugar’s loser-husband type person and being so totally pussy-whipped for her and entirely okay with that because- look at her!

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 5: Mime Games (SMUT)

Season 1 Masterlist

Click for vibes

bonjour ma peeps. je suis ruth und je ne parle le french. spanish is more my bag. mi bag. enjoy ray as he slowly descends into madness because he wants a baby and his wife sys no. sucks to be him :)

~ Swellview Academy for the Gifted~

"Come on! Let's go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go!" Ray bellowed as he impatiently hovered by SWAG's front door. 

Glancing at his gadget-filled watch, he breathed a frustrated sigh, wondering what was taking his protégés so long to pack. They were going on a trip, not for fun, but for a mission - three days max, so he didn't know what the hold-up was. After all, it was only Paris - he didn't see the big deal. 

For some, it was a big deal, the getaway of a lifetime to the city of love, famed for its cafés, architecture, and tourist attractions. (y/n) was one of them, having been unable to sit still all week ever since they received confirmation that Captain Man and Co were needed overseas. Her childhood dream was to take her lover and experience all those cheesy, cliche things she saw in her rom-coms. 

It was enough to make her bounce excitedly on the spot, hugging Ray's beefy arm close to her chest, where her heart thundered from the adrenaline. Their bags were packed: a manly, dark camo sports bag for him and an overly girly, glitzy purple suitcase for her, and of course, her husband insisted on carrying both. His sweet girl packed enough for three weeks, let alone three days, but he indulged her. 

After all, only a genuinely remarkable lover would whisk their wife away to the most romantic city on Earth, even if it involved a little crimefighting. 

Well, that is if the children didn't fuck things over for him. 

"We're s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'going!" Mika replied sharply, snapping her hard plastic case shut and haphazardly zipping it up. Unlike some, she and her friends had only learned about the little detour half an hour ago; trust Ray to tell them they were going halfway around the world when no one had anything decent to wear, toiletries, or parental consent. 

"Our Goober Lux is three minutes away, and I'm not going to lose my five-star rating for any of you!" The man growled, anxiously glancing at his phone to see the taxi approaching. He wanted to be the perfect customer, ready and waiting by the door with his sweet girl's hand in his, looking ever so handsome. 

His hair was so floppy, that jacket was deliciously tight, and the gleaming, golden band on his left hand made the heroine swoon as she squished his bicep more. Maybe it was the thrill, the whiff of adventure, or maybe Paris was just that enticing, but she was ridiculously giddy, too happy to scold the children about dragging their feet. 

"You could help us...(y/n/n)?" 

"Well, I--"

"She's with me, and I'm helping by yelling..." Ray told Mika sharply when she looked at the starry-eyed woman for help, refusing to let his wife go merely because they weren't prepared. He'd already told her twice, but she looked gorgeous in that pretty little dress--so cute he could burst, but he concentrated on yelling instead. The sooner they moved, the sooner he could show her the fancy-schmancy suite he'd booked at the hotel. 

"Let's go! Let's go!"

"Relax, boss. I'm good to go," Miles called out smoothly, looking like the picture of relaxation as he reclined in his chair, feet propped up on his desk with a magazine in hand. Everything around him was chaotic, yet the boy didn't look phased, flicking through the pages while his sister ran around like a mad bull. 

"Uh, Miles. We're going to Paris. Aren't you gonna pack anything?" (y/n) asked, wandering over to the kid's side with her doofus in tow. Maybe it was just her - she was a stickler when it came to luggage - but it was a wonder how calm and collected he was, barely sparing them a glance as he turned another page. 

"Whatever I need, the universe will provide," he replied with his usual zen. He was so confident in the mystic power that he almost looked smug. For some reason, coincidences fell around him like dominoes, always ensuring his life ran smoothly with no bumps or issues in the road. 

But, of course, there were no such things as coincidences - cue Mika walking into the room from the closet, dragging double her weight in suitcases while Miles sat idly by. She always did this, looking out for her brother, even when her care bordered on neglect; after all, he was old enough to look after himself. 

"Okay, Miles. I packed all your stuff. Again." 

"Told 'ya!" The boy smirked at his teachers before licking his forefinger and thumb to grasp another page, looking arrogant since all the hard work was done for him. 

"Mika, honey..." (y/n) sighed, swallowing the urge to give the conceited kid an earful about respect and good manners. Instead, she turned to the sweating, out-of-breath girl, who smiled sweetly after placing the heavy bags down for a breather. It was like she didn't see anything wrong with her kindness; she was too innocent and thoughtful to see how Miles took advantage of her generosity. But she did - (y/n) knew the doormat life all too well. 

"Why do you do this for him?"

"The only way he'll learn is if I do it over and over again for him until he learns," Mika explained, and for one so bright, she just sounded dumb. Uttterly stupid. Painfully moronic. And it practically had the woman slapping her forehead in exasperation. 

"Mika. I have raised four other children and a doofus. Trust me. Sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind. You are not his maid, nor his mother, so Miles," (y/n) turned and glared at the boy as she growled out his name, "should get off his butt and pack his own suitcase."

"You're scary when you're mothering..." the girl trailed off, staring at her friend in awe and mild reluctance once her furious tirade finished. It even left her brother looking a little sheepish, shrinking into his chair as Ray approached her, looping his arms around her waist to pull her back to his chest. 

He, too, was in awe of his wife, finding it ridiculously hot when she took charge and laid down the law with her confidence and authority. He nuzzled her hair and neck as the girl nodded shyly, promising to be more assertive next time. 

"I've had a lot of practice. This doofus used to be and still is a handful," (y/n) joked, reaching a hand up to stroke Ray's hair as he smooched her jawline loudly, making her shriek. It was nauseatingly cute, causing Miles to loudly clear his throat as the hero stroked the glittering rings on her finger, wildly in love with his darling girl, to notice the children swanning around the room. 

"You still married me, though, Mrs Manchester..."

"Of course, Mr Manchester."

"Get a room, you guys..." the boy said in a sing-song voice, making the woman giggle when her husband sighed and grumbled. He longed for their honeymoon days when he could openly kiss and love her without a pesky child whining about decency and celibacy. 

But Miles was right; they had places to go and people to meet, and any kiss would be ten times sweeter in France. So, the man pecked her cheek and released his wife, clearing his throat before heading back to the door, wondering where that Goober was. At least one kid seemed abnormally focused on his task...

"Bose! Bring the stuff outside."

"You got it, boss. Remember, I am Boooooose..." the long-haired boy replied nasally - almost like he had a cold - as he bent over and fiddled with the zipper on his luggage. 

It was strange; he'd been hunched over the damn thing for at least fifteen minutes, ignoring anyone and everything around him, even as his friends ran around doing a million tasks at once. He'd never concentrated so hard in the few months he'd been at the fake school, and it was rare for him not to wander around with that dimpled smile like nothing was wrong in the world. 

Instead, he did not show his face, looking through thick hair strands with his hood tightly pulled over his head. Very odd, and that voice... It was so familiar, but not like Bose's, prompting Ray and (y/n) to whip around with deep frowns. He knew that adenoidal tone...

'Wait a minute..." Ray growled, sniffing the air like a bloodhound as he stomped to the quiet boy, sensing something was wrong. It was those superhero instincts... "I knew I smelled science in here!"

Everyone gasped as the man yanked the hood from Bose's head, only to find an imposter was among them. 

Turning around with a terrified face after being discovered, the team were shocked to see Schwoz staring back at them in a very clever disguise. If he had played his cards a little better, no one would've noticed the deception since his costume was so good, complete with a very Bosey wig, his signature blue hoodie, skinny jeans, and trainers.

The resemblance was uncanny but not good enough. 

"Can you smell science?" (y/n) pondered, knowing her doofus hated anyone behaving smarter than him but smelling it? That was a little crazy, even for him. 

"Schwoz, why are you dressed like that?" She moved on, standing beside Ray as she looked the small man up and down, wondering what he was thinking. 

"'Cause I want to go to Paris! It's the city of love--and I want to fall in love!" Ah, a stowaway. Schwoz gazed at his friends with misty, wonder-filled eyes, looking every bit the hopeless romantic that (y/n) often saw in her sappy movies. Hearing him talk about feelings and emotions was a little out of character. Still, it warmed her heart as she smiled warmly - she was a sucker for romance, no matter who it involved. 

"Awwww..."

"That's strangely adorable."

"The heart seeks what it needs!" She cooed with the kids, clutching her chest as her heartstrings sang. They all thought it was adorable, mirroring the genius's dopey, hopeful smile as he imagined meeting a tall, beautiful bombshell along the Seine. Ray, however, wasn't so smitten, scoffing loudly as he sneered at his handyman. 

"First of all, we're not going to Paris to fall in love," he said firmly, pointing a stern finger in Schwoz's face. He fell in love in Swellview, not halfway around the world, so anyone else's feelings didn't matter. 

"We're going to Paris because the French Captain Man is on strike. Second of all, everybody knows you're going to die alone!"

"Raymond! How could you be so mean?!" (y/n) scolded her doofus as the poor guy gasped loudly, undoubtedly wounded by his boss' harsh words. Ray flinched under her sharp gaze, but she didn't waver, wondering if he'd be so cruel if someone said the same to him; after all, their relationship seemed hopeless initially.

"...Monsieur Man is on strike?" Schwoz asked incredulously, clueless about how the woman's face fell when he brushed over the apparent insult. Maybe it secretly hurt him, but he didn't show it, staring up at Ray, who smooched her cheek as an apology - although she didn't hear him apologise to the little guy. 

"Yes!" Instead, he turned on the smartboard, where he had the front page of France's online leading newspaper. All anyone could gossip about was how the city's leading superhero refused to work and Monsieur Man was very popular. 

In some ways, he looked very similar to Ray, or at least (y/n) could see the similarities. He was stereotypically handsome with solid and masculine features, thick biceps, and shoulder-length, slicked-back blond hair. His uniform was a little strange, designed like Ray's, with a long-sleeved white undershirt covered by a zip-up tunic in the French flag's colours. 

"I am Monsieur Man!"

He spoke with a thick, French accent, flashing his crazy eyes at the camera as he sipped from an espresso cup. Maybe in an alternate universe, she would've dated him. Still, her better instincts said he wasn't the same as her doofus - a little too eccentric and cheesy for her liking. 

"They need us to protect France's greatest national treasures until he agrees to go back to work."

"Yeah, how long is that going to take?" Miles asked, praying that the Parisian hero was reasonable and easy to handle. He could lie to his parents a bit - a weekend field trip - but anything longer and they'd get suspicious. Also, who wanted to spend more than a few days in the city of love with Mr and Mrs Manchester?

"Not sure. We'll have to ask when we get there," (y/n) replied, leaning up on her tippy-toes to peck Ray's lips. She could barely wait, sharing a bright smile with him as they imagined everything they'd see and do together, squeezing hands without realising everyone was watching. Mika thought it was adorable, and Schwoz could only hope for a love like theirs. 

"I don't speak French..." the boy added, wondering what they'd do once they landed. Ray couldn't work with others, so a translator had to be out of the question. Maybe just some very well-timed hand gestures?

"That's okay. Je parle un peu français. Je l'ai étudié au lycée, donc on devrait survivre," the heroine replied smoothly, her cheeks slightly warm as the children quirked their eyebrows at her - even Miles was mildly impressed, which was no mean feat. 

Ray curled his arms around her waist, pulling his beloved wife to his rumbling chest, practically purring as the beautifully romantic words wrapped around her tongue before soothing his ears. She had to be trying to seduce him, right? Looking up at him through those lashes, smiling cutely, kissing his jaw...he had to be the luckiest man in the world.

"That's so hot, darlin'..." he murmured in her ear, hugging her closely as Schwoz sighed dejectedly, longing for love like theirs. They giggled and whispered to each other, cheeks superheating when Ray asked if she could kiss like the French, too, but he pulled away when the kids coughed awkwardly. Right...he forgot they were there. 

"Anyway, you don't have to learn French--French is just English but with very ridiculous accents!" 

"That's very ridiculously wrong," Mika mumbled, stunned when her so-called teacher put on the worst impression of a Frenchman she'd ever seen. His voice was thick and heavily accented, finished with a little Frenchy laugh, but he couldn't be further from the truth. 

"Such a doofus, mon amour..." (y/n) sighed, shaking her head, but she leaned up to kiss him anyway. Love was in the air, making them extra affectionate and cuddly as they buzzed with anticipation for their romantic break, even if it was technically for work. 

The hero grinned against her lips until an alarm sounded, painting the walls red momentarily before Chapa and Bose dropped from the ceiling in their chairs. They'd been grabbing some last-minute essentials from upstairs - weapons, gadgets, underwear - bringing everything down in large, heavy-duty, carry-on bags. They were late, making Ray frown as he glanced at his phone again - where was that Goober?

"Sorry, I'm late! I couldn't find my hoodie," Bose said as he placed the bag on his desk, only to look across at Schwoz and see him wearing his looted sweater. No wonder he couldn't find it; it was part of the genius' cunning disguise. 

"Hey, I have that same hoodie! And that same hair!"

"You pack all out travelin' weapons?" Ray asked Chapa after wandering over to her side, looking too damn handsome in that jacket. And seeing him in his tight jeans and the black muscle shirt underneath? Nothing made (y/n) drop to her knees quicker...

"Yeah," Chapa confirmed, having run around the Man's Nest like a madwoman when the hero snapped his fingers and demanded she find everything they'd need to protect themselves in a foreign country. And obviously, he couldn't do it, monitoring the taxi and smooching his beloved wife. Critical stuff. 

"You got Lil' Sizzler?" He asked, his lips twitching upward when the girl nodded diligently for every weapon he listed. "The Smoke Wagon? The Mean Wheel?"

"Trick question. There is no weapon called The Mean Wheel..."

"Okay, Chapa..." Ray grinned, thoroughly impressed by her attention to detail and in-depth knowledge. She didn't miss a beat, knowing everything she'd left in the pack, which, strangely enough, was identical to the one Bose had packed - the one he rummaged through as they chatted. Unzipping the gym bag, he pulled out a weird-looking device, like a child's windmill, with half a dozen stickers of his grumpy face stuck to each point as it spun around. 

"I got a Mean Wheel right here. You show it to the bad guy, and when he all the mean faces on it, he's like, put that away! It's so mean!" Oh, sweet boy. He meant well, but God, he was simple. 

"Oh, Bosey..." (y/n) shook her head with a sigh as Ray flashed the kid a wobbly smile, swapping a look with his sweet girl. 

"Lemme holla at you for a second," Miles murmured to his fellow sidekick, placing a warm, kind hand on Bose's shoulder as he pulled him aside for a quick chat, leaving the happy couple with Chapa. Someone needed to tell him why that windmill thing wasn't appropriate, and the boys were particularly close, even if Miles' patience only stretched so far. 

"So, I was thinking...when we're in Paris, we have to kiss on top of the Eiffel Tower!" (y/n) mentioned to her doofus as the boys talked a few paces away. She turned in his arms, grinning at him as Ray hummed and kissed her forehead, knowing he'd do anything she asked. He didn't mind what they did, willing to show her the entire city if she wanted, but he couldn't help but tease her a little. 

"Can't we kiss anywhere else?" He smirked, stroking her curves as Chapa gagged at his side. God, every minute of every damn day...they couldn't keep their hands to themselves. 

"Well, duh, you big doof! But it's a tradition! All couples kiss on top of the Eiffel Tower."

"Well, I can arrange that..." the man growled, leaning down to kiss his wife as she giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and humming appreciatively. 

As they smooched, utterly entranced by the nerves, excitement, and love in the air, the girl by their side groaned and shook her head. She always wore a frown, but this was something else - deep, stern, and severe, etched into her baby-like features the longer they locked lips. 

"No fair! So, you guys get to go off doing all your kissy-kissy stuff while we do all the work!" She complained, forcing the couple to break apart as Ray scowled, ignoring how Bose skipped upstairs to look for something. Honestly, he could never love her properly with these little shits around...

"Hey! Can't a man take his incredibly hot wife on a romantic trip?" He asked, squeezing (y/n) 's hips as she rolled her eyes and lovingly kissed his cheek, running her wedding rings down his freshly shaven face. Before she could coo about how unbelievably handsome he was or Chapa could argue otherwise, Mika piped up, looking perturbed. 

"Hey, Ray?" She called out, standing and looking through the window while everyone nattered. She'd watched a large, mini-van-type vehicle pulled up outside the school, loitering by the curb as the driver glowered at the front door. He didn't look happy - impatient like every taxi driver - making her gulp as she turned toward the hero. 

"There's a Goober LUX SUV outside."

"Oh, my stars! MY stars!" The man gasped, yanking his PearPhone from his pocket and baulking when he noticed the app said his car was here - and his rating was going down. He must've missed the notification, too distracted by his wife's sweet lips or the dumb kid's stupidity. 

"What, doofus?" (y/n) quirked an eyebrow, quickly following her lover as he dashed around the room in panic. 

"I missed the alert, darlin'! Now, my five-star rating is going down! C'mon, C'mon, C'mon, C'mon! S'go, S'go, S'go!" He urged them all, clapping his hands as everyone jumped into action. 

The kids grabbed a bag, swiftly wheeling the suitcases toward the door, including Bose, who lowered his face to the floor. He hurried toward the door without saying a word, frantic into the Goober without glancing at his friends, especially the happy couple. (y/n) grabbed her case, too, nudging Ray's until he raced over to take both, not wanting to see her lift a finger. 

"Chapa!" 

"What?--" Ray tossed a heavy bag toward the girl before shoving a suitcase toward her knees like a bowling ball. The force nearly toppled her over, but he didn't care, flashing his beloved wife a brilliant smile before holding his hand out for her to take. He practically dragged her to the car, but (y/n) didn't mind, tottering along with a giddy giggle. 

This was the beginning of her romantic break, and no one would ruin it. 

Everyone was so eager and rushed that no one noticed how Bose expertly programmed the Man's Nest security programme, which involved inputting a code far beyond his technical capabilities. The kid could barely count to ten, yet he punched in the string of numbers without issue, activating dozens of skin-searing lasers that crisscrossed every room should any burglar dare to break in. 

With that, he scuttled out of the door with his case, closing and bolting the door behind him, dashing toward the car with a mischievous grin. No one would ever know...the genuine Bose would be safe and snug in the Nest, and Schwoz would find the woman of his dreams. 

*bonjour mis amis. je have le smutti smut - oui-oui. if les enfants amongst us could shut their eyes for the next 5k, that would be lovely, and everyone avert your screens from your mothers.

(Raymond secretly wants a baby zut alors!)

SKIP IF YOU DON'T FANCY IT! ONWARDS!*

~

"Holy shit, doofus. This place is insane..."

"Anything for my best girl..." The hero grinned at his wife as she marvelled at their hotel room. She chucked her jacket over a regal chair draped in gold silk with a polished mahogany frame, offering both opulence and comfort. Its gracefully curved legs and delicate embellishments made it a statement piece of luxury. Yet, it was the bed she focused on. 

In the grandeur of the bedroom, the luxurious mattress commanded attention with soft sheets and plush, tufted velvet cushions. Crafted from polished mahogany, too, the bedframe boasted ornate carvings, while a canopy of sheer curtains added a romantic touch to the opulent retreat, inviting anyone who entered to indulge in a haven of rest and relaxation. She fell backwards onto it, testing the plushness and sighing, knowing this was the epitome of comfort as her husband laughed. 

Paris was a bit of her. The culture was clever, all elegance and the finer things in life as the city lights twinkled in the darkness. They'd landed quite late - past nine - and headed straight for the hotel, which was far too expensive and fancy for four tweens, but Ray paid for double twin rooms. He had to if he wanted to wine and dine his sweet girl, booking them into an executive suite facing the Champs de Mars. 

It was one of the best rooms available--anything to see her smile. Everything had a lovely, warm glow from the furniture's pastel hues. The wallpaper was French - thick, glittery, and doubtlessly expensive with its gold, elaborate design. The carpet was plush, creamy, and woollen, caressing her feet as she stood up and padded across the room, dodging the seventeenth-century sideboards and coffee table. 

"Oh, Raymond..." (y/n) breathed as she pulled one of the chintz drapes back from the window and peered at the outside world. 

An iconic structure illuminated the city skyline with a golden glow, its intricate lattice of lights shimmering against the dark canvas of the night sky. The city below was a tapestry of twinkling lights. The Eiffel Tower stood as a timeless sentinel as the couple gazed out, casting a romantic spell over the heroine. 

She didn't want to imagine how much he'd paid for the view, glancing back over her shoulder as Ray pressed his front to her back, enjoying it with her. His hands held her hips as he rested his chin on her shoulder, silently smirking to himself for a job well done at her awed expression. He took it as a sign he'd chosen well, feeling his heart sing when she took in every aspect, not wanting to lose a moment. 

"Do you like it?" He whispered, kissing her neck as she nodded slowly, barely aware of reality as the lights twinkled on The Eiffel Tower. It was breathtakingly beautiful, although he was looking at someone else. 

"Of course, doof! I've always dreamed of seeing The Eiffel Tower..." (y/n) sighed dreamily, leaning her forehead on the cool glass as her hand laid over the one on her hip. "Thank you..."

"I promised I'd make all your dreams come true when I married you, pretty girl."

"You didn't have to book us into the fanciest hotel in town, though..." She giggled, squirming at the ticklish sensation of his lips on her skin, but she couldn't be happier. His wedding band felt hot, hard, and heavy on her waist, slightly digging into her as he kept rubbing around his favourite spots...hips, tummy, and ass, up her ribcage until he nearly brushed under her breasts. 

"Bose was so shocked he couldn't say a word, poor kid..."

"Go big or go home, darlin'. And besides, I have a dream too..." Ray mumbled, losing himself in his wife's soft body and floral-scented hair.

The mention of that kid barely passed his mind, forgetting how uncharacteristically quiet and shy the boy was when they checked in. He barely said goodnight, not that the hero cared. He couldn't drag his wife into their bedroom quick enough, eager to have her all to himself in the lap of luxury because they didn't get to do this very often. Not with those little demons knocking on the door every day. 

"Really?" (y/n) asked quietly, feeling a new heat pulsing through her veins from his wandering fingertips. It didn't help how he'd stripped off his red jacket, revealing the deliciously tight black muscle shirt underneath. He looked so fucking hot, standing there in all black with his biceps bulging every time he moved his arms. 

Every inch of him was pressed against her, hands glued to her waist, and there was nowhere to go but the cityscape before her. 

"Oh, yeah..." he replied, lightly nibbling a spot just below her ear before bringing his lips back up, whispering in a sultry, throaty voice. 

"I've always wanted to say I fucked my wife in Paris."

"Raymond!" She gasped, half-scandalised, half-pulsating with heat. She sounded shocked, but it was a little late for that at this point. She was used to his antics, familiar with how he said it how it was, revelling in his blatant and unapologetic love and lust for her. So used to it, in fact, that the brief feeling - which could've been shock - passed all too quickly, painting a coquettish grin on her face in its wake. 

She turned her head to glance at him over her shoulder, giggling when his nose nuzzled into her cheek, mirroring her heated expression. His lips brushed her skin, holding her waist a little tighter as he pulled her ass back into his body. He was obvious and unashamed in every way, rolling his pelvis into her, nipping her jaw a little. 

"What? Don't you want me to ravish you, sweet girl? This is the City of Love, after all," Ray teased, a rumble in his voice when she rocked her hips with his, wiggling her butt as she pushed against the glass. A little minx in his mitts, just as unabashed as he was as she tilted her chin up, encouraging the marks he sucked into her skin. 

There wasn't a hint of rejection. Not even a suggestion that she didn't want him as much as he wanted her. If anything, she slumped against the pane more, arching her spine while his fingers danced with the button on her jeans. But indeed, giving in from the off wasn't as fun. 

"The kids are next door..." A pathetic excuse - murmured through lips curled upwards, making the man snarl. 

Frankly, he didn't give a shit. He had the girl of his dreams in his embrace, lovingly trapped with nowhere to go--his wife, hot, ready, aching to take his cock. He wouldn't stop for anyone, and certainly, not four little Satan-spawns, who made it their mission in life to steal him away in the morning, interrupting every clinch with their problems, groaning at every stolen kiss. 

It was time to test if his money was well-spent, to see if this hotel really was le triomphe de Paris--if anyone could push the soundproofing to its limits, it was them. 

"They won't hear a thing," he replied curtly, running his middle finger around the jean button before expertly popping it open with his forefinger and thumb. His sweet, precious girl didn't struggle, whining as another hand snuck around her body to grasp and fondle her tit, stealing that argument from her mind as she bucked into his touch. 

"W-we only just got here..." (y/n) gasped as he squeezed whatever he could grab, dipping into her pants only to stop when she went and ruined it. She loved playing games, and Ray loved a challenge. 

"No time like the present," he shot back instantly, wasting no time in moving past her panties and into her slick, circling her clit as he gathered her wetness on his fingers. 

Humming in the back of his throat, he approved of how her body did all the talking, juddering when the heel of his palm ground against her sensitive flesh. Soft moans fell from her mouth as he hunched over her body, playing it to a tune only he knew when he found her nipple through her shirt and bralette. That pulled a sharper whine from her, and when he bit the side of her neck...the fight left her. 

No more teasing. Just a sweet girl and her doofus in the most romantic city on Earth, in a suite designed to give the ultimate satisfaction. 

"Take me to the bed, then, doofus..." the heroine begged, nails scraping down the window as he unhurriedly toyed with her. 

"No..." Ray replied lowly, smirking evilly since he was enjoying the game she started. She - the girl of his dreams - was putty in his embrace, keening at the slightest touch until she dripped for him, soiling the loose jeans barely clinging to her hips. They shimmied down her body, making them both desperate to rip them off and get on with it, but he had a different idea. When in Paris...

"First, you'll take me right here, right now. Let the whole city see how well you take me." 

His mouth was hot against her ear, whispering harshly as she nodded without thought, becoming drunk and pliant on his throaty tone and thick fingers - the way they cupped between her legs to tease at her entrance.

Usually, she'd never be so daring, rationality telling her that anyone - one of the hundreds of tourists exploring the city's nightlife - could look up and see them in a lust-fuelled tangle. Then, the nerves kicked in, whispering about how they'd be the next internet sensation, how the hotel would kick them out, how the world would know what they did. Usually.

To her surprise, (y/n) found herself equally hungry, clammy palms leaving the window and their prints behind to roughly shove her jeans down her hip until they gathered at her knees. Then, it was just a matter of shimmying them down her calves and stepping out of them, kicking them to the side without a spare thought once her lower half was bare and accessible for her doofus. 

"Such a needy girl..." he chuckled, although he didn't waste the opportunity. With more space to manoeuvre, his fingers slipped through her slit with ease, smearing her wetness around her clit until she sobbed, nodding weakly.

"Such a good girl for me, though..." 

A hand curled around her throat, pulling her forehead away from the cool glass until she tilted the base of her skull on his shoulder. Her torso was a canvas for him to roam, tweaking her breasts while he twisted his neck to kiss her, tongue messily running across her lips to tangle with hers. 

"Want my cock, pretty girl?" He asked breathlessly after they pulled apart, and (y/n) didn't miss the angelic note in his tone. She could never understand how he could say such vulgar things so nonchalantly. Still, either way, she loved it, gasping, begging, vigorously jerking her head in a reverent yes. 

God, yes, she wanted it. Wanted his cock. The only thing that could soothe the ache in her pussy, five stories up, watching over the city of Paris with him all over her like a rash. It was daring, it was dangerous, it was downright obscene, but yes, she wanted it. 

"Your words, darlin'. Say it," Ray cooed, hissing through his teeth when his beloved wife turned to jelly in his arms, merely presenting her ass against the hardened length trapped in those black skinny jeans. 

But that was boring--too easy to just fuck her now without making her ravenous. Hearing her desire was hot - hotter than self-gratification could ever be. 

"I want it..." (y/n) mumbled quietly, her lips feeling fuzzy and clumsy like she'd spent the afternoon knocking back shot after shot of hard liquor. She'd say anything he wanted to hear if it meant he'd be deep inside her, screwing the lust and longing out, trusting her beloved idiot to take care of everything she couldn't think about. 

"Louder. Do you want to be fucked or not?" The hero growled, hands still against her clit and tit when her pitiful attempt barely made it to his ears. Where was the woman who commanded his home like a queen? The one who often straddled his hips and rode him with authority and conviction?

"Yes!" She cried a sudden desperation fuelling her sharp shout when the dear pleasure he gave her was ripped away. Her hips rolled into his fingertips, chasing the hazy delight. Yet he retreated before she could, bringing them to his lips instead so he could suck the honey off them - down to the goddamn knuckle. 

"Fuck, please, doofus...fuck me. Give me your cock."

"Right now? Right here? Wanna give all those people a show?" Ray grinned, licking at the delicious sweetness on his lips, eager to have another taste if she'd let him. But first, he needed to be inside her, straining against his jeans when she tucked her nose under his jaw and whimpered. 

"Fuck me hard, Captain. Give it to me."

"That's my girl." He moved in an instant, shoving her back against the window with an unusual but not unwelcome roughness so she was braced against the glass again. His foot kicked her ankles apart, spreading her legs a little further, opening his favourite view in the world while he hurried to free himself. God, he never tired of eyeing her so ready, wet, and frantic for him. 

Arching her back, (y/n) waited for what she craved, smiling tipsily when she heard the gentle, unmistakable jingle of his belt buckle as Ray shoved his pants and underwear down his thighs - just enough to free himself. He took his rigid length into his hand, pumping the achingly hard flesh with a groan as he guided the tip to her blazing cunt, sliding it through her folds.

A moan left her lips at the sensation, mewling when he rubbed himself against her clit to cover himself in slick. 

He couldn't help but grunt at the relief of fisting his cock, staring at her pretty cunt as it fluttered and clenched around nothing in anticipation. It was tempting to keep going, fuck himself to the biggest walking turn-on he'd ever seen. Still, Ray stopped himself, curling his forefinger and thumb around the base of his cock to will himself to calm down. 

"Fuckin' take it..." he growled lowly as he guided himself down to her entrance and pushed in, hissing when he felt that all-too-familiar tightness engulf his cock. 

Like always, there was some slight resistance, willing to force him back out until he surged forward, parting her walls as (y/n) wailed. The thickness was heavenly, making her jaw go slack and eyes flutter shut when his groin pressed against her ass, fully sheathed inside his sweet girl. She clenched around him, now sucking him in, squeezing him tightly like nothing he'd ever felt before, and it felt like coming home.

"Oh, pretty girl, you feel so good."

"Don't make me wait, Ray..." (y/n) whimpered, planting her feet a little further apart to give him more room, enticing him to start moving. Slick was dripping down her thighs at this point, allowing her lover to inch a little deeper, but he wasn't particularly fussed. 

He held her hips flush against his whilst he ran kisses from the edge of her shoulder to her neck, panting harshly and trying to reign in his desire - she'd never believe his lack of control when he had his wife in his arms.

"Keep those pretty eyes on the city. Leave me to my husbandly duties," Ray muttered against her throat with a smirk, gently sucking and nipping on her skin as he began to pull and push into her. 

They groaned together at the friction, clawing hands leaving greasy streaks down the window pane as his cock dragged against her walls, providing sweet relief. Starting off slow, the man hummed lowly in his throat as he steadily coated himself in her, rubbing her hips as he tried not to get too excited. He felt so deep inside her from this angle, marvelling at the sight of her bare flesh and the moans she made.

"Fuck--harder--" She pleaded whinily, wiggling her hips to try and force herself back onto him, taking matters into her own hands. The slow, gentle, shallow thrusts were pathetic and maddening, barely enough to satisfy the ache deep within her.

She needed the rough, brutal pace only he could give her, but Ray stopped her movements, holding her waist, when his mouth suddenly appeared next to her ear, hot and harsh.

"I said, look outside. Don't waste this view," he spat, a large hand shooting up to cup his chin and force her to turn to Paris again - like she could concentrate on anything but him. "And I'll look at this one."

With his sweet girl staring blankly at the warm, twinkling lights and traffic-heavy roads, the hero pawed at her body and took a step back to admire her. He'd swear on the book that he'd never seen anything so beautiful in all his born days, trailing his gaze from her naked back and shoulders to the reflection of her breasts in the glass to her hips and the delicious crease between her thighs.

God, he could stare at it all day, licking his lips as he studied every minute detail of how stuffed her cunt looked with his cock crammed inside. She took him so well, stretched and drenched around him, piecing a sinful picture together in his head, which he tucked away for a rainy day. 

His hands kneaded her ass, parting her cheeks to see the puckered hole that only he knew - a vulgar secret and privilege he'd never take for granted. Although, perhaps he'd take it later on when he'd fucked her pussy numb. 

"Feels so good, Captain," (y/n) gasped, glueing her eyes to the skyline as her husband moved again, finding a rough, sweet pace that had them slumping against the window like rutting animals. 

"I know, darlin'. Shit, your pussy feels so good," he groaned from above, belt buckle jingling with every movement of his hips. His skin was blazing, still dressed from head to toe, but it only inspired liquid fire in the heroine's veins; glancing down to her right to see his biceps in that black muscle shirt. 

Her pussy fluttered at the image conjured in her head: sweat clinging to his skin, strands of hair falling from his gelled quiff, the trail of hair down his navel peeking out from the hem of that stupidly hot shirt from where he'd shoved his jeans down those toned thighs. 

She just knew he looked like sin and heaven and everything she needed for another gush of slick to run down her thighs, making her lover snarl and smirk. 

"You fuckin' love this, don't you?" He chuckled, resting his forearm on the window as he snapped his cock into her harder, nosing her cheek as (y/n) struggled to breathe--see--think, let alone speak. 

"Wha--?"

"Anyone could look up now and see you, and you don't give a shit. These pretty fuckin' tits are on show for the world, but you're mine, aren't you?" Ray growled, releasing her iron grip on her pelvis to gather a fistful of hair, bringing her head back towards his. 

He'd never hurt her; a gentleness in everything he did, even when he slapped and pinched at her stiff nipples - moans falling from her lips with every tweak and tug. Something green, dark, and ugly rose within him when he thought about someone else seeing her like this, bare and beautiful, which should've been for his eyes only, but it merely made him fuck harder. 

Anyone would look up and see him fucking her, his touch making her cry in ecstasy, his ring on her finger. 

"Yes--sh-shit, yes!" She nodded weakly, a thrum of pleasure passing through her as her doofus wrapped himself around her, her bare back to his fully clothed front.

"You love this--can feel your cunt squeezing me, dirty little girl."

"'M all yours, Ray. Love how you f-fuck me," the woman stuttered, practically drooling down the glass as he continued ploughing her pussy, bringing forth the release she needed so badly. "God, I wanna cum..."

"Yeah? Wanna cream all over my cock?" Ray cooed with an evil, shit-eating grin as he snaked his hand down to her woefully neglected clit. He'd left it alone for far too long, leaving it exposed and throbbing in the cool air until his fingers began their assault.

"Let me cum! P-Please, I need--I need--I--" (y/n) shrieked at the sensation, lurching forward as he rubbed rapid circles against her most sensitive spot, electrifying her every nerve end. 

Her tongue felt clumsy and too big for her mouth. It barely wrapped around each word as she gabbled and babbled like an idiot, feeble and pliant like putty for her doofus.

"Fuck, you can't get enough. This little pussy needs filling every fucking day..." Ray muttered to himself, memories of their previous encounters coming to mind as he fluidly pumped into her, never failing in his rhythm. 

Before their flight, she'd begged him to fuck her into their mattress, accidentally nudging their suitcase onto the bedroom floor after he accosted her while packing. Maybe that was hours ago, and perhaps they'd had a quick fumble in the plane toilet, but God, if she was insatiable, he was ravenous. And he'd never, ever say no.

"I'll give you what you need, precious girl--I'll always take care of you..." He mumbled, lapping at her neckline as he played her every weak spot, 

"So, cum for me...Let go, sweet girl. Let me feel you...""

It ripped through her on his word, pulsating around his cock as Ray groaned, willing himself to thrust through it, crowding her against the window until he had her tits pressed against them. He kept circling her clit, whispering sweet, filthy nothings in her ears as her fingers clenched and cunt twitched. Soak me...get this pussy ready for me...fuck, I know what you need.

"Shit--Ray!" (y/n) screeched, writhing in his arms when he didn't stop. His thrusts were frantic and fast, balls slapping against his ass as Ray groaned. 

He couldn't help it; maybe it was the romantic setting, the thrill of exhibitionism, or the temptation of another round on the bed, but something told him to claim her now. He felt wound up like a coil, endlessly needy and in love with his perfect wife as she became even slicker around him.

He'd undoubtedly make it up to her - in no way planning for the night to end so early. This was only the first round, and he planned to stay inside her all night, to make her see stars with orgasm after orgasm until she didn't know what planet she was on, but first, Ray needed his release. 

The sensation of his pretty girl coming around him was convincing enough; it had been hours since he came inside her, and something inside him itched. 

It was a peculiar feeling, one he'd never felt in his life until he met and wedded her. The thought of painting her insides with his cum made his thoughts go black, replacing them with deep, carnal desires to see her swell and grow, all because of him. He'd make her grow and change, and fuck, the outcome... He knew she said to wait, but fuck if it didn't excite him, just the thought of giving her a ba--

"Gonna fill you up, sweet girl..." the man choked out, stepping closer until (y/n)'s entire body was pressed against the window, rutting against her ass and a sensitive spot inside her in tiny, grinding thrusts. He felt it getting closer, scolding himself for not lasting. 

But her pussy was incredible, stealing his resolve as he curled his arms and brought her into a tight embrace.

"Yeah? Gonna cum inside me, doofus?" She whispered, grinning dopily, still riding her high when she turned to look at him over her shoulder. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and he seemed effortlessly handsome as he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers, panting hard. 

"Fuck, yeah..." Ray nodded feverishly, eyebrows knitted together in concentration as he kneaded her tits and tummy, not knowing where to touch, "Gonna stuff this pussy and then--shit--I'll--"

"What, doofus? What do you want? I'll do whatever you want..." His wife asked softly, rocking backwards on the balls of her feet to meet his thrusts, adding a little extra bite to the pleasure that coursed through them. The glass had fogged up, and if any sightseer looked up now, they'd doubtlessly know what was going on, but neither cared. 

Everything built up slowly and quickly at once, pushing them further together until the lines of reality blurred with delight, making Ray throw his head back and howl. He returned to her clit, keeping his arms tightly around her frame--like he couldn't bear to let her go, not when the end was so near.

"That's my good girl," he growled, smooching her cheek loudly as he raced through a million daydreams - all of them filthy. On the bed, on the dresser, the vanity table, seeing her on her knees, parting her thighs and diving in, bending her over and pounding her needy little hole until the sun came up. 

"I'll eat you out after this."

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah. Let me have a taste. Let you cum on my face, and then, I'll fuck you again and again," the hero rambled on, sinking further and further into his desire, getting off on everything he wanted to do to her. 

"Ray..." And it seemed she wanted it, too. She bent her back, arching into his touch as they fucked harder and harder, chasing their highs. The extra stimulation of her clit brought (y/n) to another peak, tilting her head back against his shoulder, and Ray knew she was his to drain for pleasure.

"Not letting you go tonight, darlin'," he promised against her temple, hot breath rolling across her face as his pace became uneven yet snappier. "I want to have you all night."

"Cum for me, then, doof. Fill me up," (y/n) coaxed, finding his hand on her breath and threading her fingers through it, holding it over her heart as she whispered the sweetest words of the night. "I'll let you fuck my ass."

It ended him. A harsh gasp ripped from the man as his hips pressed into hers as far as possible. Warmth spread inside the heroine as he stilled, saying nothing but rushed mumblings of her name and small groans, holding his sweet girl as tight as he could. She came second, milking him in gentle waves, mewling softly as he painted her insides before all of Paris.

Strong arms - those bulking biceps - held her safe, cooling their blazing, sticky bodies against the steamy window, refusing to pull out since his pearly load was so precious. It felt right to keep it inside her - it scratched the itch, and even though he knew they shouldn't, it didn't mean he couldn't dream. 

Just knowing she was full to the brim with his cum, knowing one day he'd have the satisfaction of seeing her swell, was enough. For now. 

"Oh, fuck, Ray..." (y/n) sighed once they slumped against the window, fingers cupping her breasts and gently squeezing - more of a comfort thing than sensual. 

He rested his chin on her shoulder, sighing deeply as she leaned her weight back on him at his gentle touch, humming in mild discontent when she realised he was still wearing clothes. Admittedly, very hot clothes that made him look like some kind of God, but still. She wanted the intimacy of skin-on-skin, but that would be in a bit - once they had a breather.

"Good? He asked, kissing her shoulder, and he felt the weight of her flesh in his hands. He'd never seen someone so beautiful, utterly besotted.

"Good," she confirmed breathlessly with a delicate smile, reaching behind her to bring his face to hers. They shared a brief kiss, so soft compared to when he ploughed her senseless. "So good."

"Good," Ray smiled, squeezing her body before gazing at the skyline, all doe-eyed and gooey inside. The night sky was stunning, the warm glow of the lights even more so, but his sweet girl? She was everything he ever wanted and needed, looking so perfect with his softening cock still deep inside her. 

"I'm yours, too, y'know..." he muttered after a few moments of silence, "I want you to be mine so bad, darlin', but I'm yours too. You've got me--forever."

"I know, Ray. I love you, too," (y/n) sighed, rubbing her hand over his, grinning when she heard the slight chink of their wedding rings bumping together. 

To say she was glowing was an understatement; she was safe, happy, and warm with her husband, even if she realised post-entanglement that they'd played a risky game - fun but scandalous.

"Can't believe we just fucked in front of the most famous city in the world."

"I'm hearing no complaints...In fact, you begged for it. Screamed," Ray grinned, and upon hearing the smirk in his voice, (y/n) whacked his shoulder, albeit with warm cheeks and a grin of her own. 

Perhaps that was true, but people in glass houses... He made himself sound like such a prude. Yet, really, he was the horniest man she'd ever met, and the one with his pants hanging around his knees because he'd been so desperate - the one who'd still not yet pulled out because he was hoping to get lucky again. 

"Only because you seduced me! Like you did before we left home and were on the plane. You're a bad influence, you big doofus." She giggled, gasping slightly when their bodies moved, making his cock drag against her walls. 

It wasn't the best argument, given how her eyes fluttered closed, biting her lip in what Ray saw as an utterly seductive move. Was she trying to make him want her? Because it was working, he whispered hotly against her ear, suddenly serious and baritone, his voice as smooth as a rich, dark chocolate.

"Can't a man make love to his wife?"

"Against a window for the world to see?" (y/n) gulped when he tweaked her nipples again, sending all-too-familiar shockwaves down her spine as her sensitive core tingled. Ray was silent and simply leaned forward for a filthy kiss - all tongue and teeth as he planned his next move. What was that offer she made again?

His eyes glanced down to where their bodies connected, feeling himself harden inside her again when he observed the deliciously slick flesh engulfing his cock. Only he had a different goal, pulling out of her entirely to a chorus of petulant whines as he drifted north. 

He'd give the city a show, wanting his precious wife ruined and speechless by the end of the night. It started when he pressed himself into her tight passage, turning whimpers into wails and gasps as he whispered...

"Well, when in Paris, sweetheart..."

*je suis sweating after that, mon amors. mais oui, mais oui ray wants his baby so bad (and I do too but not yet ruth.)

children, open les peepers and let's go forth. we've got some weird mime shit to get through and endless bits of pda from our doofus and sweet girl. 

allon-sy! (said the 10th--or 14th???--doctor).

~The next morning~

The team rose bright and early, donning their uniforms before heading to a quirky cafe in downtown Paris. 

Everything was so French, unsurprisingly, with freshly baked bread, croissants and coffee for breakfast, walking down the street to the sound of an accordion. Of course, Ray and (y/n) went hand-in-hand, wearing matching lightweight, waterproof jackets for the cool morning air, and they adored the city of love. 

It screamed them, strolling with enamoured smiles as the kids trailed behind them, chatting about the thrill of being in a foreign country. Bose was a little quiet, but (y/n) supposed it could be jet lag, and her doofus had already swept her into a passionate kiss before she could think about it further. 

She entered the cafe first, ears warming when Ray opened the door for her like a true gentleman, even if he left Danger Force to fend for themselves. He strolled in like he owned the place, looking ridiculously handsome in his Captain Man costume. 

He faced a hoity-toity old lady with a sour expression and an alarmingly bright red jacket, tie, and crisp white shirt - her name was Marie, and she had the joy of being their host.

"All right, everybody! Calm down! America's here!" Captain Man announced as he walked toward the woman and unzipped his jacket. Miss Danger gestured for the children to come closer. She was willing to let her husband do most of the talking since only he could saunter around with that level of nonchalant confidence. 

"All right, first things first, I got a couple'a great jokes about French people, so let's dive right in. How many French people does it take to surrender to--" Or perhaps not.

"Okay, doofus, we're not gonna go there!" (y/n) shouted above his voice, jumping forward to push him away before he could say anything offensive. They'd not even been there for twenty seconds, and he'd already scandalised his host, etching a deep frown on her face - some things were still too raw to talk about. 

"Je suis de le mond désolé pour lui," Mika crooned to the woman with her sweetest smile, hoping to smooth things over as her friend gave the hero a stern look. 

She'd sat with them on the plane, and when they didn't sneak off to the bathroom together - which was obvious to her - she'd had a few French lessons from (y/n). Not much, just enough for the average tourist, but Marie looked at her like she'd grown a second head when she put it into practice. 

"I'm sorry. I do not understand," the older woman replied in a thick, French accent, making the group's Smarties frown. 

"But she was speaking French," (y/n) pointed out, coming up from behind Mika to gently place her hands on the girl's shoulders. Ray's soft eyes followed her every move, but he smirked at his young sidekick, ready to deploy his smug face.

"But no! French is just English with a very ridiculous accent!"

"See? I'm right about everything," he told Mika arrogantly when she turned to him with that stupid and annoying face. Marie was nice enough, but that couldn't be right...and she desperately wanted to smack him.

"Oh, doofus..." (y/n) sighed and shook her head at him, but as always, she couldn't help but smile and peck his cheek. 

Ray was just too adorable to her when he looked at her with that dopey grin, sliding his arm around her waist as Mika rolled her eyes. Deep down, he knew she was right, glaring at the French woman for being so ridiculed. 

"This place kinda looks like Hip Hop Purée," Chapa mentioned as she wandered around the café, noting the similarities. 

The counter was in the same place with all the snacks and drinks, the logo on the wall was similar, and the decor screamed modern American culture. Save for the random memorabilia and displays around the room and the name difference with Paris, the heroes felt at home - almost as if they hadn't gone transatlantic. 

"But of course! We want you to feel at home while you guard our national treasures," Marie replied, dramatically gesturing around the room with elegant sweeps of her arms. 

"Well, I guess somebody has to," Ray retorted as the woman moved to the priceless artefacts they had to protect. His gaze slid to the only other Parisian in the room, glaring harshly at the blond, garlicky man as he spun around in an ergonomic chair and sipped an espresso with an unbothered, clueless smile. "Since Monsieur Man over there is on strike."

"That is correct. I will not fight crime until someone buys me a pretty pink motorcycle," he replied defiantly, looking almost ridiculous in his copycat uniform. (y/n) had heard how he was popular with the ladies, sharing many characteristics with Captain Man, except he hadn't found a sweet girl of his own yet. She supposed he was handsome somehow, but he had nothing on her husband. 

"I'm sick of taking the subway! I want to drive around and say, beep, beep, beep! Out of my way! I am Monsieur Man!"

"Okay..." Was all Chapa had to say, reacting to his cheery explanation with a flat, bored expression--almost a look of repulsion. She wasn't impressed, wondering why she had to travel thousands of miles for the whims of some spoilt little French boy. 

"What are we guarding here?" (y/n) asked, turning to Marie to refocus the group. Still, when she saw the items the hostess had gathered, she wouldn't exactly call them treasures. 

"Only the most important treasure in all of France," she said proudly, gazing at the weirdest collection of knickknacks they'd ever seen.

"Napoleon's pants..." She held up the so-called antique, and everyone wrinkled their noses. The garments were pinned to a board for preservation and were tiny as if they belonged to a child. They'd yellowed with age, looking disgustingly old, wrinkled, and manky as she held them to the light. 

"The first French bread ever baked..." She gently picked up the long, stick-like baguette like it was made of glass, but dear God, the smell. 

The bread had to be decades old and had turned a dark shade of green due to a cakey layer of mould. It was enough to make anyone sick to the stomach, and (y/n) nuzzled against Ray's chest, subtly inhaling his fragrant cologne and not the musky stench from the bread. 

"And finally, the original helmets of music superstars, the Daft Punk." She smiled at the futuristic helmets, which made everyone genuinely smile. They could be considered true treasures - part of music history, even if they weren't precisely to Ray's taste. 

"Ah...I definitely know who Daft Punk is because I'm cool, and I know cool things," the man commented flatly as he stared at the helmets. Yet, nothing came to mind, not even when the kids cheered and gasped with excitement. Even his sweet girl grinned with awed eyes, her hand clamped over her mouth. 

"Really, doofus? I wouldn't have thought they were your thing..." (y/n) frowned confusedly as she squeezed his beefy arm to her body. She knew everything about him, from the colour of his underpants to his childhood imaginary friend to his favourite baby name. This was news to her. 

"Name any of their songs," Mika dared him, making the hero freeze, not that he showed it. He couldn't care less about this Daft Punk, but he played it off well, keeping his expression stern and focused as he ignored her. 

"There's no time!" He shouted dramatically before snapping his gaze to Chapa. "Volt! Let's get an inventory of those weapons before any of these cheese-eaters try to steal my favourite band's helmets or whatever."

"Uh, we got a problem, Cap..." The girl said slowly as (y/n) glanced at her lover suspiciously, only to look even more perturbed when she heard that. Those weapons were all they had; problems weren't what they needed when they'd left everything else at home. 

"We took the wrong bag," she revealed, snatching a familiar item from the gym bag. 

Ray scoffed at that doohickey of Bose's creation, his little windmill of angry faces. He hated that thing, but unfortunately, they'd mistaken the proper weapon bag for the identical junk sack, and he growled when he yanked out another bizarrely useless item - a tangled, brightly coloured, shaggy slinky. 

"Aw, what? Care to explain this, buddy?" He asked the kid harshly, stomping over with the slinky in hand to where Bose had been deathly silent, keeping himself to himself in a shady corner. It was weird; he was typically so outgoing, but he had barely said a word since they'd left Swellview, and even when his boss snapped, he didn't turn around. 

"I can't because I am the dumb one," he replied quietly, sounding like he'd gone swimming in a brewery, slurring his words in a funny voice. His jacket said BrainStorm, but (y/n) narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Bose, honey..." she called out to him, reaching to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. The poor kid sounded like he had the world's worst cold, but as Ray threw the springy tangle into a corner, a sour smell assaulted his nose, a shiver ran down his spine...a deep, instinctive yearning settled in his gut. 

"Ew...did someone science in here?!" He questioned in a disgusted tone with a wrinkled face, glancing at his sweet girl and the kids.

"Don't luck at me, doofus! I only do math when you're around to drool..." (y/n) exclaimed as she and Mika held their hands up in defence. They were The Smarties but had barely had enough time to sleep, let alone flex their brains, so it didn't make sense. That is until Ray's nose pointed him somewhere else.

"Wait a minute," he muttered, squinting at Bose's figure. His superhero senses told him something was wrong, especially when he noticed how the boy refused to look at him and how short he seemed to be--a little too shifty.

So, he yanked the hood down, revealing those familiar sickly brown locks and a pair of dark sunglasses. He quickly ripped from his stunned face, and there were a pair of irritatingly familiar, wide, brown eyes locked onto his. 

"Schwoz! Dang it!" Ray snapped upon seeing the genius through his cunning disguise, making the others gasp in horror, too. "I thought I told you to stay home, you little nerd!"

Schwoz didn't even need to think about his next move. He'd been busted, and now that the cat was out of the bag, he felt no loyalty to Ray. There was no need to keep up this façade, not when he had a personal mission to complete, so he threw the hero and his sidekicks an anguished glance before bolting for the door.

"I want to find looooooove!"

"Wait...if that was Schwoz...then where's...?" Mika pondered as she stared thoughtfully at Chapa, who was stunned speechless by the handyman's devious actions and dramatic exit.

"Kevin!" Ray screeched in horror, his face a picture of panic when he realised the worst. The thought was there, but come on...

"Um, doofus, you mean, Bose?" (y/n) corrected in a whisper as she hovered by his elbow. She was equally terrified at the heart-stopping thought of accidentally leaving one of her babies in the Nest. Still, she couldn't help but frown when her husband got his name wrong - after so many weeks, if not months, of knowing him. 

"I mean--Bose!--I mean, BrainStorm!" He exclaimed dramatically when he realised he lacked his wife's tact, shouting the boy's name when it should've barely been a whisper. 

But he got there in the end, and the couple gawped at each other in a state of pure panic; this was the first time they'd forgotten a child in the many years of having them, and it felt like they'd lost a limb. They felt sick to their stomachs, foreheads clammy and fingers trembling as (y/n) slowly shuffled into his embrace, picturing the poor kid alone in the Man's Nest. It broke her heart, and all she could think was how it was her fault. 

You didn't check. You should've noticed. You will be responsible if he gets hurt. Her brain always picked the right moments to be so helpful. 

"You guys, what happened to Bose?" Chapa asked angrily, breaking them out of their self-loathing. She was aloof and insensitive, but deep down, she cared about her friends--especially the ones who could barely tell a goldfish from a grenade. 

"Did we leave him at home?"

"Alone?" Miles gasped, snapping his gaze to his teachers as they gulped. 

"Yes! Oh, God...we left BrainStorm at home! Oh, my baby..." (y/n) whimpered, feeling truly awful as she hugged herself. Ray tried to comfort her, keeping his arm around her shoulders as he mournfully stared at the floor before pecking her hair. 

"He's my favourite one!" He nodded, not that it helped. The others looked at him offendedly, although Chapa could understand why. Still, (y/n) slapped his chest and tried not to smile or show any sign of approval because that would be wrong. Very wrong.

"Captain Man! We don't have favourites!" She told him firmly, flashing the children a wobbly but sincere smile since she loved them all for unique reasons, but that wasn't important whilst she sunk further into her sadness. 

"But poor Bosey...he's probably scared and cold and hungry and tired, and oh, God! Doofus!"

"I know, sweet girl. I know..." Ray sniffled, holding her painfully contorted face against his chest when her rambling turned into anguished, strangled cries. He couldn't bear to see her sad but knew her pain, feeling responsible and guilty despite not showing it; deep down, he cared, and it was enough to bring tears to his eyes, too. 

They could picture it now: he'd be tucked up in a corner of their home, not knowing how to find the kitchen or turn up the thermostat. He wouldn't have gotten any sleep, too afraid of the dark and the monsters that could lurk in it since he didn't do well alone. The poor kid must've been terrified, and it was impossible to help him--possibly days before they could go home. 

He didn't show it often, but Captain Man would move mountains for his sidekicks, so it mildly shocked them to see him so distraught. The man resorted to squeezing his beloved wife in His embrace, manically petting her soft hair as she fanned her eyes, refusing to show fear in front of her other babies, but they wouldn't stop. 

"Somebody call my baby Bose...My poor baby," she whimpered, feeling a little pathetic, but luckily, Mika swiftly fished the PearPhone from her pocket. She had Bose on speed dial, clicking his contact and holding the cell to her ear as the dialling tone beeped. 

"Relax, (y/n/n)...I'm calling him."

"It won't work!" A cruel, mocking laugh came from the corner - more like a sneer. Miss Danger flashed her most vicious glare at its owner, wishing she could burn holes in Monsieur Man's head as he sat there, perfectly content and carefree, whilst her world was in chaos. 

"Listen here, Pepé Le Pew..." she growled, so ready to sink her claws into him that Ray had to encircle his arms around her waist to keep her at bay, only for another annoying froggy accent to reach her ears. 

"The cell phone service you are using, ATandOui, is on strike."

"The whole country is on strike," the French hero explained, coolly sipping his espresso as Ray tried the number to no avail. "They all strike for Monsieur Man. Ha, ha!"

"Okay, that's it! I'm gonna rip his head off. See if he's still smirking then." (y/n) lunged for the man, hoping to at least gouge an eye out or break his nose, but Ray was too swift and strong. He kept her snuggly in his arms, whispering soothing words in her ear to drown out Monsieur Man's victorious huff. She was better than that, even if her babies' safety could make her ferocious. 

"If only we had someone who could teleport back home..." Miles suggested dryly, giving the woman a bemused yet tender look, making her ears warm. 

"Au revoir, Frenchies," the boy sassed before jerking his arm in the air, disappearing in a flash of golden light. Surprisingly, he didn't reappear half a centimetre to the left or an inch to the right, so Ray and (y/n) assumed he'd returned to the Man's Nest - a much-needed reassurance. 

"Nice! One of your superpowers actually worked... Lookin' at you, ShoutOut," the handsome man remarked, which earned a few eye rolls from the girls, but at least his wife perked up, and he was relieved to see her smiling again. 

"Wow, you're really gonna go there?" Mika growled, a little hurt, but she had the last laugh when (y/n) reprimanded her doofus like a mother berating her child. 

A gentle tug on his earlobe told him to behave, and he begrudgingly apologised to the girl, earning himself a soft kiss. They leaned in, needing a little sweetness after so much distress, but just when their lips were about to touch...

"What are you doing?!"

"Get out of here!" Two disgusted, ladylike voices suddenly bellowed from the female toilets at the back of the café, and a mortified figure burst through the door. It was Miles, who covered his blazingly hot face with his hands after seeing...things. He'd be scarred for life, but nothing was more humiliating than an utter failure. 

"Okay, if anyone else is curious, that is the ladies' room," he said meekly as his friends stared at him, making the girls cringe. Nothing was worse than stumbling into a place where you couldn't be less wanted, and he'd really taken one for the team there. 

"Anybody else got any ideas?!" Ray asked sternly, still worried and now pissed off since he'd missed a kiss from his sweet girl. And he really needed that kiss.

"I've got an idea!" Monsieur Man called from his cosy corner, ignoring Miss Danger's frosty glances. She'd warm up to him eventually - all women did - so he couldn't help but smile when she rolled her eyes and snarled.

"Merci, but we're good."

"Ah, but mon chéri..." the Parisian hero crooned smoothly with a blinding smile, a little too flirtatious for Ray's liking, as he stiffened and stood closer to her. But Monsieur Man was harmless, shifting his gaze behind them, finding something hilarious as everyone stared at him.

"Why don't you stop that mime from stealing the baguette?" He suggested playfully, pointing to where a sneaky criminal had slipped past Captain Man's razor-sharp senses and swiped the mouldy bread. 

The heroes turned around to see the bizarre man creeping away most ridiculously. He was a classic mime, his face painted a ghastly white with exaggerated features. At the same time, he wore a black beret, white gloves, a monochrome striped shirt, braces, and black breeches. 

Watching him was funny as he kicked his feet out with every step, the baguette raised high above his head, but despite the cutesy act, a criminal was still a criminal. 

"Freeze!" Ray ordered after getting over his initial shock, and the mime immediately stopped...and began shivering?

"Oh, freeze! Like he's cold... That's kinda good," (y/n) giggled as she watched the silly man tremble like he was stuck on an arctic tundra. It even broke a smile on Ray's face, laughing with the kids when the actor hugged the baguette close and chuckled, too. 

"All right, take it. You've earned the bread..." Ray sighed--so impressed with his quick wit and improvisation that he didn't have the heart to chase after the criminal. But that wasn't the point, much to his sidekicks' disgust and fury. 

"No!"

"That's stealing!"

"He's getting away!" Mika and Miles exclaimed, wildly gesturing to the mime, who prepared to make a swift if overacted, exit. Luckily, Chapa had the brains to guard the door, blocking his path with the deadliest weapon in their arsenal - The Mean Wheel. 

And surprisingly, it worked. One flash of Bose's grumpy face and the mime cowered away, holding his hands up in surrender with little fight left to flee.

"I guess it works!" The girl declared happily, expecting an epic brawl, but maybe Bose was onto something. It gave Ray enough time to grab the guy by his collar, yanking him back into the store.

"Well, sometimes, you just--" he grunted, pulling his detainee back with a mighty jerk as he jogged on the spot, "--y'know, get lucky."

"That's a Daft Punk song..." Miles pointed out, but he wasn't surprised when a blank expression passed over the hero's face. 

"I know it is. Thank you," he scoffed casually, even though no one was fooled by his bluff. 

Ray had to save face, not only for the civilians and so-called heroes watching but for his sweet girl, who shook her head in amusement as she kept her eyes trained on the mime. She didn't trust them - something about how they didn't speak made her nervous. 

"Then sing it," Chapa taunted, smirking underneath her poker face. Everyone knew the man couldn't resist a challenge, and it was a battle of wills as he pondered his next move. 

"Too expensive..." he answered vaguely before quickly dropping his gaze to the surly mime, clenching his fist around his collar in case he tried to escape. 

He didn't trust them either, snapping his fingers for Mika to bring him a chair. The girl gently placed it in the middle of the floor, unaware of his plan. 

She was shocked to see how roughly her teacher shoved the poor man onto the seat, nearly pushing him onto the floor as a melancholy pout made his bottom lip wobble. It was even more alarming to watch Miss Danger loom over him, an uncharacteristically aggressive glint in her eye as she studied the mime's pasty face, unnerving him for some weird reason. 

She knew they had to question him about why he targeted the national treasures, but did they have to be so...mean?

"Talk!" Ray bellowed, making the actor flinch at his loud tone. Still, he said nothing - just collected himself and returned to sitting prettily. 

"I said talk! Tell me where your friends are!"

"He's a mime. They don't talk!" Mika told him exasperatedly, knowing he could shout all day but never get through. (y/n) usually told him stuff like that, but she was weirdly silent for some reason, observing the mime broodingly.

"They also don't have friends," her brother jokingly added, which to most people would be true. Mimes were socially celebrated, perhaps a little nerdy and weird in most circles, but the couple knew better. Oh, they knew things the children would never believe. Things that would scar their innocent minds. 

"Oh, he's got friends!" 

"Guys, he's a mime. They live in hives, so when you see one, there's always a mime hive nearby," the heroine explained, much to the children's confusion. They looked at her like she was crazy, not missing how antsy Ray was. 

"I expect this from Captain Man, but not you, M-D. Are you thinking of bees?" Chapa asked dryly, unable to believe such outlandish, childish nonsense. 

"No! We're not making this up!" (y/n) exclaimed indignantly, clinging to her husband's arm as he frantically looked around for this so-called hive. "Mimes work together, they live in hives, and they protect their Mime Queen at all costs! Trust us!"

"I do not trust you..." Miles replied slowly, staring at the couple warily. He couldn't trust them, not when she spouted such nonsense, and he fondled any bit of flesh he could reach. Still, Ray didn't need their faith, nor did he seek their permission, returning to glare at the mime and bark his orders. 

"Talk! Tell me where your hive is!"

"He's not gonna talk!" Mika yelled back, wondering when the man would learn, not that he'd listen. 

"We'll see about that..." Ray growled before reaching for his belt, fingers fumbling angrily as he searched for his laser remote. In his experience, although unpleasant, a little pain and zapping here and there often loosened a criminal's lips. Even if the children disapproved, he shot a few orange bolts at the mime's shoulder, searing his skin a little - not enough to scar, but just enough to make him yelp. 

"Talk! Talk! Talk!" He snapped, zapping the guy three times until the mime clutched at his chest, a mournful expression turning his face sour. He was an excellent actor and didn't break character through the mild torture. 

"Okay, this guy's good! He's gotten me twice so far. I say we just let him have the bread, you guys."

"No!"

"Stop!" The children groaned as the hero stopped his interrogation and smiled cheesily. That's what the crook wanted--to lure them into a false sense of security, but they knew better. Plus, the bread wasn't theirs to give away like some two-cent fairground prize. 

"Doofus, our job is to protect the bread, not give it to the first person who smiles at you!" His sweet girl said, chastising him, but Ray just whined like a little kid. 

"But he wants it! Look, he's hungry!" He said petulantly, grinning as their captive pretended to tuck a handkerchief into his collar, rubbing his tummy like he'd not eaten in a week. The man felt sympathy for him yet failed to realise that the mime could just go to the bakery and buy fresh, non-mouldy bread. 

"Well, he can go and whistle for it 'cause he's not getting a single crumb!"

"He's got a little bib going..." Ray sighed, amusedly watching the mime's antics even as his beloved wife scolded him. He was in a world of his own, absentmindedly patting the small of her back as Mika groaned and rolled her eyes. 

"Cap..." she called out, but his stare remained blank and vacant. 

"CAAAAAPPPPP!" The girl said louder, her flat tone finally reaching him when (y/n) whacked his shoulder and flicked his ear. The man blinked a few times, turning to his wife with a slight pout since he didn't like being on her wrong side, but the annoying noise of Mika talking to him soured his mood. 

"WHHHHHAAAAAAT?" He replied in the same monotone drone, flashing the whites of his eyes when they rolled back in disgust. Would they ever stop pestering him?

"Let's try something else," she suggested, gracefully brushing past his rudeness when her friends slapped him again. Giving her a grateful smile, she turned to the mime, studying him closely. 

"Like what?"

"What if we just played along? Let's let him do his mime games, and maybe he'll like us and tell us something," The girl grinned hopefully, making her teachers exchange a thoughtful look. At least they were considering it. 

"If he won't speak our language, let's try speaking his..." Her brother added pensively, circling the glum-looking mime as he gently placed a friendly hand on his shoulder. He agreed with her; he'd always been the hippie type, and it was much better than lasering the poor guy. 

"Oh, no! I sure hope no one throws an imaginary rope around me!" Mika exclaimed in a weird voice, drawing puzzled frowns from her friends. 

Her cheery, overly enthusiastic attitude wasn't natural. She sounded like she was on a TV commercial or as if she'd had a brain transplant, especially when she smiled like that - a little too brightly for sanity. It didn't impress Ray or Chapa, the latter of whom folded her arms and glared because it was stupid. There was no way she'd do that. 

"What?" They said together flatly, but it worked on the mime. He perked up instantly, turning that frown upside down when he finally understood ShoutOut's meaning. Snapping his head in her direction, they smiled gently at each other, radiating hope, peace, rainbows, and everything else Chapa hated. 

"Because then I'd have no choice but to get pulled in." That had the stripey-shirt-wearing man leaping excitedly, as giddy as a schoolboy, to join her little game. As Mika began to jovially run away, he expertly mimicked taking an imaginary rope from his imaginary belt before spinning it around his head like a lasso and tossing it in her direction. 

"Oh no! I'm running away!" She announced in that fake voice before she was caught, arms glued to her sides like he'd tied her up. "He's got me!"

"He got you! He totally got you!" Ray exclaimed, happily pointing to the mime's antics as he began to pull the girl toward him in solid and dramatic tugs. Someone changed his tune quickly...

"Do me next! Do me! Rope me!" 

"Doofus, watch out!" (y/n) gasped when he pushed past her, Miles, and Chapa, utterly charmed by the mime's innocent act. 

It was a world away from how he'd threatened and assaulted him, jumping up and down with his hand above his head. He volunteered as tribute, ignorant to the tired, shaking heads behind him. Was this a good idea?

~

Ten minutes later, the mime had added to his posse. 

He'd managed to rope - literally and figuratively - Mika, Ray, (y/n), and Miles, lashing them together with his invisible lasso. They didn't struggle, playing his little game with bright smiles and good sportsmanship - everyone except Chapa. 

The moody girl refused to stoop so low, hovering on the sidelines with crossed arms and a joyless expression as she watched in disdain. She couldn't believe them, watching as they fell for its tricks one by one, huddling together until (y/n) was pressed against her husband's side and her fellow students were tucked under her arms. Utterly ridiculous. 

""Uh-oh, we're tied up!" They exclaimed, clamouring loudly about how fun it was, how clever the mime was, and how they were finally getting through with him. All of which Chapa resented. 

"Now, you gotta do Volt next!" She scowled at Ray's suggestion, throwing him a killer glare as she leaned against the door. 

"Tie up, Volt!"

"Yeah, do Volt!" Their endlessly irritating cries came, and she huffed and puffed at how they encouraged the alabaster-faced criminal. It got worse when he flashed a saccharine grin and began to spin his invisible lasso above his head, intent on roping her into it. 

"Nope. Not doing it," Chapa stated firmly, turning her nose up at the thought, even when they begged and pleaded. 

"Come on! You're in Paris! Give in to the whimsy!" (y/n) said teasingly, feeling a muscular arm curling around her waist. She wasn't keen either but quickly found the fun in the mime's horseplay since it gave her a great excuse to stand closer than proprietary usually deemed acceptable to her doofus. 

"Whimsy! Whimsy! Whimsy!" The Macklin twins chanted as Ray dipped his head to smooch his beloved wife's cheek. 

He'd definitely succumbed to the whimsy, holding her tightly as the children caused their raucous. Glancing up from her soft skin and sweet-smelling hair, the man smiled when he saw Chapa budge an inch, slowly - very slowly - edging toward her friends in little jumps as she fought off a grin. 

"She's moving! She's playing along!" He exclaimed, laughing when the girl finally gave in and showed that beautifully rare smile, side-stepping closer to them with every yank of the pretend rope. By the end of it, spurred on by the chant, she was entirely into it, leaping toward the group like no one was watching - even Chapa had a little child inside her who wanted to play. 

"Man, I told you this guy was good!" Ray noted as she wiggled close to him, beaming at her teacher due to her good mood. It was a little disconcerting, but they went along with it, happily huddling together as the mime crept away. He had them right where he wanted them...

"That's it, case closed. He's gettin' the bread."

"He's not gonna get the bread, doofus," (y/n) giggled as she rested her cheek against his chest, so entranced with his handsomeness and the thumb stroking her hipbone that she didn't notice anything behind her. 

It was just the chattering children, her, and her husband, who slowly reached down to kiss her gently - the best distraction. 

"Ew, do you guys have to do that when you're so close to us?" Chapa grimaced, looking up from her excited conversation to see them locking lips. She could even practically feel the pleasured rumbling coming from the hero's chest and gagged when (y/n/n) cupped his cheeks happily - vomit-worthy. 

"I think it's the romantic atmosphere. Do you see how he clung to her this morning when they left the--"

"Hold up!" Miles gasped, interrupting his sister's idealistic and romantic rambling, when he noticed something weird. While they'd been talking, kissing, and God knows what else, the mime had disappeared to rummage through their bag of useless weapons; only some of them weren't so useless.

"What's happening?"

"Uh, is this still part of his act?" (y/n) gulped nervously, feeling rather stupid as she separated from her lover to see how the mime had literally tied them up. Even though he'd used Bose's bizarre slinky, he'd wound it around their bodies tightly, forcing them together until he had a nice little bundle of superheroes under his control, stuck and helpless in the multicoloured tangle. 

"Yeah, let him do it, sweet girl! Don't worry!" Ray reassured her, returning to focus his lips on her jawline since he wasn't worried. He could protect her immediately, although the mime was utterly harmless in his mind. 

"I thought the whole thing with mimes is that they only pretend to do real things," Chapa noted, her happiness gone and replaced with her signature moodiness. But this time, it was justified, seething at the guy as he pulled the slinky tight, squeezing her abdomen uncomfortably. She knew this was a bad idea, but nooooo...

"No, the thing about mimes is they make invisible honey," Ray explained, not that it helped their nerves. 

"Again, bees." Mika sighed, wondering how his imagination worked, but then, an obnoxious laugh broke her from her panicked thoughts. A very irritating, French-flavoured laugh from the man across the room. 

"What are you laughing at, French fry?" (y/n) sneered as she turned to Monsieur Man, thoroughly irritated to learn that he'd witnessed their whole failure. 

He stood in the doorway to the other side of the cafe, nursing yet another coffee as he watched bemusedly, highly entertained by how his American cousin floundered so spectacularly. But he didn't react to her sore-loser sourness, flashing her that charming smile again like he did with all the ladies and nodded toward the entrance. 

With a small amount of strained effort, the group shuffled around to see what he was looking at, feeling faint when they faced a band of more merry mimes. 

Ray gasped loudly when he countered three more pasty-faced men, one clutching Napoleon's pants as the other two flanked a lady mime. 

She wasn't just any old weirdo, though, staring at them down her nose with pursed lips. There was something different about her than the others, not just the small accents of red in her outfit; above her white face and stencilled eyebrows, a pretty little crown sat nestled on her pinned-up hair, a symbol of authority in the mime world. 

"It's more mimes!" Miles cried, suddenly feeling like a sitting duck as he accidentally elbowed Mika in the ribs when he jerked in surprise. 

"They've come from their hive!" Ray growled, glad he'd taken his chance to wrap an arm around his sweet girl, protectively holding her against his chest. She turned in his arms to hold onto the kids, pulling Miles and Mika closer as she glared at the head mime, knowing she was as vicious as they came. 

"Is that...a Mime Queen?" Mika gulped, leaning back into the woman for comfort as the Queen pretended to act something out, holding a blue plate with a slice of toast. 

"And is she squirting invisible honey on a piece of toast?"

"Of course she is!" Captain Man exclaimed angrily, silently furious with himself for being duped so quickly when he knew their tricks so well. "I told you I'm right about everything!"

"Stop gloating, doof! They're...laughing at us..." (y/n) breathed out, her mouth dropping open when she indignantly watched all four mimes bent over, laughing their lungs out. They pointed and giggled, chuckled, chortled, and barked like a pack of hyenas, much to their anger. 

But no matter how much the team struggled, growled, or begged, they couldn't get free. The slinky was surprisingly sturdy, so knotted and jumbled that the links couldn't be undone, even if Chapa bit it, if Ray puffed out his chest, if (y/n) yanked it, or if the twins tried to untie it. Watching them struggle, muttering curses and harsh words as they knocked against each other, was hilarious, and the mimes retreated to the corner to plot revenge. 

With their enemies rendered useless, they turned to the Mime Queen for orders, hissing and giggling as they imagined all the fun of stealing the national treasures before their eyes. 

"We gotta stop those mimes!" Chapa exclaimed as the others tugged her one way and tossed her another. And to make matters even better, Monsieur Man sat on the sidelines, chuckling at every slip-up they made. 

"I'm trying. I'm just stuck!" Miles replied curtly, squirming against his friends and teachers to try and loosen their bonds, but it was no good. Bose was really ahead of the curve with that goddamn slinky. 

"I can't believe this stupid thing actually works..." Ray mumbled to himself, furious that he had his sweet girl pressed against him, gyrating, and he couldn't do a damn thing. Not to mention that his young protégés were at risk like fish in a barrel, and to top it all off, that smug idiot was loving every second.

"...and stop laughing!"

"Stop being funny!" Monsieur Man shrugged, his shoulders shaking mirthfully, much to the other hero's fury. 

It was too much for poor ShoutOut, who felt the pressure of every more than most - the mimes, that asshole, their infuriating bonds, the urge to protect the treasure, the reputation of her whole country on their shoulders. Succumbing to the stress, she released an almighty scream from deep within her diaphragm, reverberating so powerfully that it blew the door shut and knocked the mime squad over. 

"It worked!" Mika gasped softly, shocked that she'd managed to activate her super-scream when it was typically so elusive. 

"About time..." Ray muttered quietly, earning himself a sharp jab to his elbows from his wife. 

The kids were slowly but surely getting better at their powers, which Miles proved when he wormed an arm free and managed to thrust it in the arm. He vanished from the huddle, and with his disappearance, the slinky loosened enough to drop to their feet. Now, the tables had turned. 

"Hey! Nice job, AWOL!" Miss Danger exclaimed gleefully when she took her first unencumbered breath for the first time in fifteen minutes. The group immediately jumped apart, scared to be roped together again, even if the Mime Queen and her minions were still winded on the floor. 

"Where'd he go?" Chapa asked, scouring the room for her teleporting friend, but he was nowhere to be seen. He could've gone anywhere in the world knowing the unreliability of his superpower. Still, there was no time for a debate. 

The Mime Queen recovered from the minor attack relatively quickly, and her subjects followed when she got to her feet. She put up her fisticuffs, ready to battle the heroes to her last breath, glaring at them as they shook off the shock of Miles' teleporting. 

"Who cares?! It's queen-punchin' time!" Ray barked, dancing on his toes like a boxer as he readied himself for a fight - and boy, he wanted to sink his teeth into it. (y/n) copied his movements, drawing her fists close to her face as the kids did the same, following his lead. 

"Ahhhhhhh!" Ray bellowed his battle cry, brawny arm raised high above his head as he charged, desperate to pound the Queen into the ground. She met his attack with equal tenacity, leaping with the grace of a ballerina before she brought her fist down on his cheek. 

The hero tumbled to the ground like a sack of potatoes, dazed by the brutal blow as the other mimes circled his sidekicks. They were efficient, keeping (y/n), Mika, and Chapa away from their boss as the Mime Queen beat him while he was down - not very sporting of her. She kicked and clawed at him, trying to squish his skull with the pointed heel of her boot, and it was more than Ray's job's worth to swiftly roll out of the way before he was jelly on the floorboards. 

"Captain Man!" (y/n) called out worriedly, dodging the mime who tried to drag her around by her hair as she watched her beloved doofus rolling around to preserve his life. The woman was vicious, snarling with each foot stamp, but she had to trust him to care for himself. 

Mika and Chapa relied on her expertise to keep the mimes at bay as they battled to protect the treasure. The former wrestled with one to retrieve Napoleon's pants while the latter worked with her teacher to throw another against the wall. Monsieur Man nearly spilt his espresso as the mime bashed against it with a groan. 

Still, he was amused anyway, thinking Miss Danger looked very pretty in her uniform. He sighed contently as she held the mime by the throat, unabashedly slamming his head against the bricks as Chapa dusted her hands off. 

Across the room, Ray had escaped the Mime Queen's clutches, taking his chance to swipe her feet out from under her. Luckily for his French cousin, he didn't see how his soft eyes followed her, wondering what it would be like to have a pretty assistant like her to fight by his side. And what a sight she made, tossing another mime into Chapa's hold, only to roughly throw him to the ground. 

"Waaaaaah!" Mika shouted as she tried to activate her scream on her opponent as he whimpered on the floor, still refusing to release the pants. "Okay, this worked a few minutes ago!"

"Miss Danger, get over here and help me with the queen!" Ray yelled to his wife, making her anxiously dart from him to the children and the remaining artefacts on the counter. She'd fight by his side in a heartbeat, but a hand on her arm stopped her. 

"What the--?"

"We have to secure the treasures!" ShoutOut implored, knowing they'd merely stupefied the miming minions. They'd only need a minute to recover and swipe the treasures again - Ray would surely be okay on his own. 

"Who cares about the treasures? Give me my wife!" The man argued, ducking and weaving against the evil woman before him. "We gotta take out this queen before she lays any more eggs!"

"Eggs?!" Chapa gasped, having never heard anything so weird and grotesque. 

She didn't want to know how that was possible, but she didn't have time to question it, watching when Ray tried to punch the Queen several times. He gave her a succession of swift, straight lefts and rights. Still, she miraculously evaded them, floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee. 

"What?" He mumbled when she mimed, moving something out of the way, distracting him for a split second. It was long enough for her to whack him across the face, much to Monsieur Man's amusement, as he tumbled to the floor. 

"Oh, shut up, you smug ass!" (y/n) growled at him before rushing over to her husband, unnecessarily worried, but she couldn't help it. "Doofus, are you all right?!" 

"I'm fine, darlin'..." The hero swiftly reassured her with an enamoured smile, wiping his lip to chase away the fleeting pain before lightly gathering her in his arms. There was no time for more comfort, but it was enough to quell her worries until he picked up a smooth, pale object from behind the counter. Well, that was worrying, and he turned to Chapa with a stern frown. 

"Eggs that hatch into mime larvae! Keep up!" He growled, his tone varying wildly from how he gently addressed his sweet girl as he brandished the disturbing egg at the girl. 

The Mime Queen didn't take too kindly to her enemy holding one of her...children and angrily yanked it from his dirty mitts before kicking him in the guts. The brutal blow knocked the wind out of Ray, who grunted and panted as (y/n) turned a disgusted and shocked scowl at her. She didn't take too kindly to see her husband hurt. 

"Hey!" She shouted, pointing an angry finger at the nonchalant Queen as Ray hunched over the counter. "No one kicks my doofus!"

In a daring, deadly charge, the heroine took everyone by surprise and tackled the Queen, pulling her to the ground for what could only be called a bitch fight. Straddling the woman's torso as she blinked up at the ceiling, she slapped her silly across the face, hoping to rearrange her pointed features or, at the very least, make it sting. 

After pummelling her cheeks a little, she scrambled to her feet, dragging the Queen with her as the children watched with wide eyes and mouths. God...remind them never to threaten her husband. She was lethal, taking the lady mime by her collar and launching her over the counter without mercy - it was less than she deserved. 

With the Mime Queen down, the mimes resumed their fight, brawling with the children as Ray straightened and rushed over to his breathless girl. 

She couldn't be hotter in his eyes, worthy of a thousand kisses, not that the girls cared if they shared them now. Chapa was busy with her mime, trying to zap him with some electricity to retrieve the Daft Punk helmet. Still, he was too slippery, slapping her hand away at the last minute. 

The scarlet lightning missed him and flew to Mika instead. Goddamn, it burned her skin like hellfire, pulling one of her ear-splitting screams from her throat, which luckily took down the mime. Unfortunately, as he tumbled, he crushed the precious helm, shattering it into a million billion shards. 

It was neither Daft nor Punk, just fragments of something formerly great, making the kids cringe as the treasures fell through their fingers. 

"Sorry!" ShoutOut exclaimed woefully as she stared at the ruined helmet, feeling endlessly guilty since the scream was unintentional - indeed an accident, but tell that to the people of France. 

"It's okay..." her friend said breathlessly, more thankful for the rescue than the loss of the treasure. 

Still, as she took a breather, Ray and (y/n) were plunged into the fray again as the Queen snuck up behind them, enacting her revenge by curling an arm around (y/n)'s throat. She had a little foresight, sensing the encroaching danger soon enough to jam a hand between them, but it was a barbaric attack. 

"Can't...breathe..." she gasped, flailing against the Queen and the iron grip threatening to crush her windpipe. Ray was ready to kick the woman's head in, seeing red when his wife's eyes narrowed, fighting to free herself, but Chapa moved quicker. 

Thinking on her feet, she grabbed the first weapon she saw - the beloved mouldy baguette that Marie loved so much. She didn't hesitate as she seized the slightly squishy yet stale French stick. She only saw the desperate need to free her friend as she stormed forward, brandishing the disgusting thing. 

"All right, lady. Ba-guette wrecked!" She exclaimed, particularly proud of her sick quip as she cracked the bread over the Queen's shoulder, making her release the heroine and collapse. 

Breathless, (y/n) fell against Ray's chest, unbothered by the mouldy crumbs all over her uniform since she was safe and unharmed, with only a few bruises for her super-regeneration to heal. Even Ray was stunned, instantly holding his sweet girl, but damn...

"Ba-guette wrecked?" He echoed incredulously, but there was a grateful glint in his eyes as the girl nodded sheepishly. "Okay, Chapa..."

"Thanks, kid," (y/n) said graciously, rubbing at her sore throat as her doofus smiled proudly and tittered over her health. She was fine, but the same couldn't be said for Mika, who'd been left to face the mime minions while they battled the Queen. 

"Uh, little help?" She called out awkwardly, struggling with one of the henchmen as he took inspiration from his lady and encircled her in a deadly embrace. 

Still, he was no queen, merely holding onto the girl for dear life as was his duty, so it didn't take much for her friends to free her. Glancing at one another, the couple and Chapa turned to the mime with bared teeth, threateningly stepping forward and screaming like they were about to tear him limb from limb. 

It was enough to scare him shitless, and he released Mika without hesitation, making a break for it like only a mime could. 

"Thanks..."

"No problem." The girls smiled at each other as (y/n) squeezed Ray's hand, glad to have a moment to breathe now that the mimes were scattered. They'd done pretty well to say they'd lost a third of the team, but the peace didn't last, not when Miles randomly teleported back into the room. 

He'd been across the ocean and back, bursting here, there, and everywhere before finally returning to his friends, eager and ready to fight. Unfortunately, he was a tad tardy, looking around for any enemies while his friends clutched at their heaving chests - did he have to sneak up on them like that?

"Aw, man. I missed my chance to punch a mime?" The boy whined after squealing, visibly deflated, when he realised that every mime was either unconscious or gone. 

Still, he wasn't disappointed for long, not when a loud, obnoxious, high-pitched alarm balled through the cafe, bathing its walls and residents in red light. The heroes looked around suspiciously, wondering if it was another mimey trick or something else to worry about. Yet, Monsieur Man leapt to his feet in delight, bounding over to them with all the energy and friendliness of a Golden Retriever. 

"The strike! She is over!" He announced joyfully, much to their confusion. It had barely been going on for a day - how could it be over already when they'd only just arrived?

"What?"

"Yes, the France has purchased me a pretty pink motorcycle," the smarmy hero explained, casually flicking through his social media before beaming at his stunned American counterparts. "Now, beep, beep, beep! Out of my way! I am Monsieur Man! Ha-ha!"

"God, I hate him..." (y/n) sighed as she watched the Parisian disappear through the entrance, skipping like a little girl at the thought of riding through the city on his bike, golden locks billowing in the wind. Well, as long as his garlicky smell was as far away from her as possible, she didn't care, tucking herself into Ray's side, smiling at his grumpy face. 

Some use he was; he could've at least stayed to help them round up the mimes before running off to play with his new toy, but no matter. The team were used to getting their hands dirty and doing all the work, so they gathered the mimes and their Queen up in no time. 

Bose's slinky - who Miles reported was safely at the Man's Nest like they feared - helped bind them together in a tit-for-tat style. They huddled in the middle of the room, snapping and gnashing their teeth like wild animals as Chapa helped (y/n) finish the final knot, ready for the cops to collect them. 

They thought it was a job well done, clapping each other on the back and taking a minute for themselves when Marie burst into Hip Hop Paris. She looked like she'd run halfway across the city, stray hairs flying away from her sweaty face as she fixed her gaze on them. Miss Danger would bet ten dollars she knew what she was about to say...

"Captain Man! Mademoiselle Danger! The strike! She is--"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's over. We heard." Ten dollars to her. She was ready to go home, tiredly tucking herself into Ray's side as he wrapped an arm around her waist. France was a little too hectic for them--and a little too weird. 

"Did you protect our French national treasures?" Marie asked in concern, only to pale when the couple and their sidekicks winced guiltily. They could barely look her in the eye, let alone explain that they'd either been crushed or smashed. 

"Well..."

"Uhhh..."

"Not even a little," Chapa replied in her signature deadpan, barely using a fraction of the remorse or tentativeness as her friends. She stood with her arms folded, not flinching when Marie's face fell because what was done was done. They'd defeated some mimes; that was something. 

"Hey, the pants made it," Miles exclaimed when the yellowish garments caught his eye, having been discarded by one of their opponents during the fight. They looked a little dusty, but otherwise, they were perfectly unscathed, and he bent down to pick them up for the concerned hostess. 

"Oh, wait, AWOL--" (y/n) started, reaching out to try and explain that old clothing tended to be delicate and easy to rip, but she was too late. The boy didn't reach for the board behind the pants; instead, he grabbed the leg, accidentally tearing the stitching when he pulled it too hard - and Napoleon's trousers were ruined forever. 

"Never mind..." she muttered timidly, cringing when Miles stood up with the material still clenched in his fist. 

"My bad. That's on me." At least he was noble enough to admit his mistake, not that it comforted the woman. 

"What are we going to do?" She cried, tears gathering in her eyes, which never moved from where the pants formally laid, unharmed and relatively pristine. How was she supposed to tell the nation that the ones they'd hired to protect them were no better than the ruffians who wanted to steal them?

"Oh, well. We...are gonna go home," Ray told her awkwardly, looking at his pretty girl, who eagerly nodded despite her morality saying otherwise. She didn't want to stick around for the angry mob to come with their pitchforks and torches, and Ray much preferred his own bed for many reasons, eyeing the door as Marie glared. 

"You cannot just leave!" She exclaimed haughtily, not that the hero gave a damn - he didn't answer to anyone...well, no one but his wife. "You came here, made a lot of dust-up, and destroyed all of our stuff!"

"Well, y'know..." (y/n) said awkwardly, not knowing how to explain it other than... "America."

"Nice one, sweet girl..." Ray chuckled in her ear as Marie tossed her arms in the air and marched off, undoubtedly to clean up the mess they'd made. 

Still, she left their exit clear, and the group happily tiptoed toward the door now that they'd escaped a major telling-off. 

"Can we go home, please?" She asked sweetly, smiling up at her doofus as he squeezed her hand. How could he refuse a request like that? He felt utterly exhausted after such a dramatic and lengthy trip, and nothing sounded like a better remedy than curling up with her in their bedroom to watch a cosy rom-com--one of her favourites, preferably. 

So, leading her by the hand with the children following like chatting ducklings, he guided the team toward the door...only to be halted again. Ray had to grit his teeth to stop swearing, especially when he recognised the smooth, shiny head that ambled through the door like nothing was wrong. 

Schwoz. He'd soon made himself scarce, the bald little weirdo, fleeing when they could've used another extra body during the battle, even if it were merely a meat shield. But something was off, namely the gorgeous woman with her arm wrapped around his shoulders. He didn't...did he?

"You guys! I met the love of my life!" He announced with one of the brightest smiles (y/n) had ever seen, and despite her tiredness, the romantic sight lightened her heart. 

She could see why Schowz had fallen for the lady; she was tall, cheery, and beautiful, with her hair falling around her face in soft curls, pretty pink makeup, a flowery dress, a matching scarf, and an elegant handbag. She was everything and more for the handyman, who beamed with such a delicate creature on his arm, even if she was almost double his height. 

"Aw..." she murmured, melting when the lovebirds smiled at each other, yet Ray wasn't so touched. 

"We're leaving," he ordered curtly before seizing (y/n)'s hand and dragging her through the door. She could barely steal another glance at the couple, feeling like she was losing her real-life rom-com before she could sink her teeth into it. Talk about a killjoy. 

"Doofus!" She exclaimed, digging her heels into the ground as he marched into the street, barely looking back at her. 

"But I just found true love!" Schwoz argued, refusing to give up his beloved's hand when he'd dreamed of this moment all his life. It wasn't fair; everyone else, even Ray, with all his flaws and failings, found their soulmate, so why couldn't he? It was heartbreaking, especially when a rough hand grabbed his shoulder. 

"I said, we're leaving!" The man hauled him through the door, and the love of Schwoz's life slipped through his fingers like sand. They stared at each other mournfully as the children hurried past, not wanting to be entangled in something so complex. 

Even the captured mimes looked gloomy, which (y/n) didn't miss as she tripped over her feet on the way out. One look at Schwoz's wobbly bottom lips and teary eyes and her feet glued to the pavement, stopping abruptly in the street, much to the frustration of several baffled Parisians. 

And if she stopped, the others stopped too, refusing to leave Miss Danger behind, even though they could weirdly ignore the genius' silent hiccups and sobs. 

"Doofus, what are you doing?" She asked coldly, although when Ray whipped around, he saw more confusion in her face than disgust. 

"You said you wanted to go home..." he replied simply, shrugging as if nothing was wrong despite her folded arms and Schwoz's trembling form. "So, we're going home."

"And what about everything back there?"

"What are you talking about?" He frowned, much to his wife's apparent disgusted shock. She stepped away from him as the kids looked at the couple with blank stares, wondering what to do since they were having a bit of a domestic. 

They deemed it best to step to the side and start their own conversation; experience told them that fights and arguments were vanishingly rare and often ended before they barely started. They discussed everything from the weather to the dichotomy of good and evil - anything to give them space. 

"Okay, don't be doofus all your life," (y/n) groaned, giving him a mildly bemused but mostly exasperated look. Even he wasn't that dense, merely playing coy because he knew she was irritated. "I'm talking about Schwoz and that French woman. Y'know, the love of his life."

"So?" Ray asked, tentatively placing his hands on her hips. He was gently surprised to realise that she wasn't totally pushing him away. 

She sighed and returned the touch, reaching up to fiddle with the zip on his tunic, knowing that he could be unnecessarily, stupidly, ridiculously dense sometimes. But she knew deep down that he wasn't cruel, just...silly. Such a silly doofus. 

"So, he should go be with her. You can't just rip them apart!" The heroine exclaimed, and Schwoz nodded weakly, pining for his sweetheart. He wanted to go and take her in his arms, just as Ray did with his sweet girl, but he wouldn't move with permission, too fearful of what the hero would do. 

"Eh, he'll get over it..." the man replied casually before taking her soft hand. He wanted to take her home more than anything, eager to board the first plane and forget everything about this irritating trip, but (y/n) would budge, standing still with a face like thunder. 

"Raymond..." she said firmly, taking his face in her hands so he could look into her eyes. "What if we lost our chance like this?"

"What...?" Ray gasped, heart fluttering at the implication, even if vague. 

He didn't question anything to do with her, too thankful that he'd landed the girl of his dreams to want to know what his life would be like if he one day woke up to find out everything was a dream. The thought felt like a knife through his heart, turning the man with unwavering nerves into a shuddering mess. 

"What would you have done if, all those years ago, someone took me away from you and said to get over it?" (y/n) proposed softly as the same emotions ran through her mind. 

It was unimaginable; they were so solid and dependable, the couple everyone could rely on to always be together because they were soulmates. They were the universe's plan, star-crossed, and whatever else, snuggling closer when they wondered...what if they never fell in love?

"I'd rip their head off," Ray said quietly, and (y/n) didn't argue when he wrapped his strong arms around her as if he was terrified she'd disappear. 

They were silent for a minute, hearing nothing but Schwoz's deep breaths and the children's debate over smooth orange juice or the one with bits in it. He kissed her head gently, so thankful he could say his ring was on her finger. "I'd go through hell for you, darlin."

"And I'd do the same for you..." she promised, pecking his cheek before pulling back to look at him with a soft smile, sighing. 

"So, don't you think Schwoz deserves the same?"

"But sweet girl...it's Schwoz!" The hero exclaimed, glancing at the sorrowful genius, who looked worse for wear. Even Ray could see how torn up he was, and he felt a little bad, but come on... It wasn't like any of his relationships ever succeeded--like Ray could talk about his past flings. 

"But doofus...nothing! Send him back there, or I'm not sitting next to you on the plane!" It was an empty threat; (y/n) always had to sit next to her doofus, needing to hold his hand on take-off so she'd never make him bunk with one of the kids. 

Still, it inspired a slight panic in the hero, who gasped in horror and held her tighter at the thought of sitting beside...Chapa. 

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I would! Come on, doofus...do it for me. And for Schwoz. And for the Frenchy lady," she argued, soothingly rubbing his chest while fluttering her eyelashes - tempting and convincing him in only a way she could. 

Ray sighed, weighing up every option. He hated the idea of losing Schwoz, knowing more than anyone that when a man fell in love, he'd forsake his every faculty and responsibility to pledge his devotion to her instead. He'd undoubtedly move out and start a new life, and he'd lose one of his oldest friends - that's why he was cruel...to be kind. 

"...Fine. But just because I love you." After a few minutes, he heaved a heavy sigh, meeting Schwoz's gaze, who hoped with all hopes to have the green light. One nod toward the café, and his face lit up like a Christmas tree, shouting a million thanks before sprinting toward the love of his life and all the possibilities she could hold. 

"I'll take it!" (y/n) squealed, looping her arms around his neck as she held him close, her beaming grin matching Schwoz's and the kids as they silently watched how he ran like the wind. It was weirdly kind for the man, who hated to see him go, but her happiness was worth it. 

It would be like that one day; everyone would move on until it would just be them left - just him and his sweet girl. Henry left, and Charlotte, Piper, and Jasper left, too. Danger Force wouldn't last forever, either, and Schwoz wouldn't work for him indefinitely, not when, hopefully, they retired and had kids. 

Not everything lasts forever, and Ray was gradually getting used to that fact, reassured that the love of his life was eternal. A love that would last a lifetime. 

"Y'know, there's a heart of gold underneath that grumpiness."

[girl-next-door-writes]

Let Your Heart Be Light

Characters: Steve Harrington x Reader

Summary: Steve is trying his best to impress his new friend, the trouble is that he has competition.

Word Count: 1515 words

Prompt: #20: Cookie decorating competition

A/N: The fantastic @chromium-siren slipped this prompt in for the delightful Mr Harrington and I am happy to write it.

This was not a big deal, not at all. It wasn’t like Steve had spent yesterday cleaning the house and making sure everywhere looked sufficiently festive or anything. And even if he had, it wasn’t like it was purely because you were coming over. Everyone was coming over for a day of cookie decorating and Christmas movies and general holiday season fun, so it wasn’t like this was a date or anything. Steve had been very clear about that, and then spent the next couple of days kicking himself for making such a big deal so now you probably thought he wasn’t interested in you like that.

The house smelled of freshly baked cookies, which were now cooling on various racks on the kitchen table. He was so glad Mrs Henderson had helped him out with that little task, all he had to do was pop them in the oven as instructed, then he had hovered there, staring through the tinted glass, not wanting to even blink for fear they would burn in an instant.

“Hey doofus, this place looks like Christmas threw up!” Robin called as she let herself in, smirking at the decorations.

“In a good way? Or in a ‘seriously I should rip them all down and start from scratch’ way?” he asked nervously, appearing in the kitchen doorway wearing a dark red apron with tiny white reindeer cross-stitched into it.

“Like it matters.” Robin retorted before bursting into laughter at the sight of him. “Wow, you’re in full on mom mode.”

“He’s always in mom mode.” Dustin wandered in with Lucas and Mike, holding up a bag filled with cookie decorating paraphernalia. “Mom says to just send back what we don’t use, but we have to wash stuff first.”

“No problem. I’ve already washed the trays from earlier. Your mom is pretty cool, Henderson.”

“She your role model? Will I come in here one day and find you dressed up like her? That would be quite Psycho of you.”

“Hey guys, look who I bumped into on the driveway.” Nancy beamed as she entered the house with Will and you following close behind.

“Oh, hey!” Steve said a little too loud to be natural, running his hand through his hair before he realised he still had some flour on it. “Shit.”

“Look at that, Steve’s a Christmas badger!” Mike smirked.

“Or maybe he’s going for silver fox.” Lucas added.

“You guys pick on him like it’s a sport.” Max huffed as she arrived with Elle, the last of the group to arrive, arms filled with interestingly wrapped gifts. “I’m gonna throw these under the tree for later.”

“Now everyone’s here, we can officially begin. I’ve got the kitchen set up.” Steve nodded to the kitchen and slowly people made their way past him.

You stopped for a moment to say hi. His heart practically stopped when you reached up and lightly dusted the flour out of his hair before following Nancy towards the table.

“She touched your hair! She touched your hair, and you didn’t explode! You must really like her.” Robin teased.

“Shut up.” He hissed, glancing over to make sure you hadn’t heard the interaction, his eyes widening as he heard Elle say,

“Oh, Nancy dated Steve.” He quickly moved over to stand beside you, eager to change the subject and get the competition rolling.

“Okay, listen up. We each get four cookies: a tree, a Santa, a star and whatever the hell that other one is.”

“I think it’s supposed to be an angel.”

“Okay, so an angel. Whoever decorates their cookies the best will get the prize.” Steve grinned as the promise of a prize caused the kids to go a little wild.

“Hey, hey. See you’ve started without me.” A familiar voice called out and Steve’s heart sank a little.

“Hi Eddie. Thought you couldn’t make it.” He gave his friend a tight smile. It wasn’t that he wanted to exclude Eddie, just that he didn’t want the tattooed metal legend to waltz in and steal your attention away.

“Well, someone’s got to make sure your cookie decorating thing isn’t entirely lame. Speaking of, what the fuck is this music?”

“It’s festive.” Steve rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest.

“It’s bullshit.” Eddie grinned, tilting his head with curiosity when he spotted you. “Hi, I’m Eddie. Looks like there’s not enough cookies to go round, mind if I share with you?”

“No, Ed, tha-“ Steve began to protest but his words were lost in the din.

“Sure. No problem. You can do the angel and Santa? Or are we making him Satan?” You had asked with that easy smile that usually made Steve’s heart skip, only now it was aimed at Eddie and Steve’s shoulders slumped. Right. If he was going to pull this back, then he was going to have to wow you with his cookie decorating skills. He wasn’t just gonna roll over and let Eddie steal you away. Rolling up his sleeves, Steve moved to stand beside Robin, ignoring her pitying looks and grabbing the green icing. These were going to be the best decorated cookies he had ever made.

An hour later, the kitchen looked as if a class of kindergarteners had been let loose with icing in there. Steve wasn’t sure how the hell there was a marshmallow stuck to the ceiling, but he had his suspicions it had something to do with Mike. His attention had flitted between his cookies and whatever you and Eddie were up to. Each time you had giggled had felt like someone turning a knife deep in Steve’s chest, and each time he had refocused on his icing skills.

The finished products were now lined up on the counter, ready and waiting for judgement. Not that it was going to be especially difficult given the car crash of entries.

“Okay, so first up we have Wills.” Steve’s brow furrowed as he tried to find a nice way to say that the star cookie looked like baby vomit, and the marshmallow eyes for the angel were truly terrifying. “Good job, buddy.”

“Mine next!” Dustin proudly pointed to his cookies, one of which already had a bite taken out of it.

“Yeah, dipshit, you’re disqualified for eating your cookies.” Steve looked at him pointedly as the curly-haired boy began to protest.

One by one the entries were whittled down until there were three left: Nancy’s perfectly piped cookies, Steve’s surprisingly delicately decorated offerings and yours and Eddie’s ‘alternative’ cookies. As much as Steve wanted to hate them, he had to admit the Angel of Death was pretty bitchin. Maybe Eddie was a better match for you, and he should just admit he had no chance with you.

“So that’s three for Nancy, three for Steve and three for team metal Christmas.” Robin chuckled, “only two of us left to vote, who do you think deserves the win?” She turned to you and Steve had already resigned himself to the loss.

“I like Steve’s.” His head shot up in surprise as he looked at you. That was definitely not what he had been expecting. “They’re traditional and delicate, decorated with a light touch. All of them are colourful and I really wanna steal that tree one.”

“I’d say that seals it then. Dingus, you win. So, what was the prize?” Robin looked at her friend expectantly, but he was still too busy staring at you. “Earth to Steve?”

“Huh? Oh, erm, selection box under the tree.” He murmured a little distractedly.

“We can eat these now, right?” Dustin asked, already picking up his cookies and drifting towards the lounge.

The group all wandered through to start the movie marathon, picking up their snacks as they went, but Steve was rooted to the spot.

“You want some help cleaning all this up? I’ve already seen The Santa Claus like a billion times.” You offered and he swallowed hard, trying to remember how to form words when you were looking directly at him.

“You don’t have to. I’m sure Eddie will have saved a spot for you.” As much as it pained him to say it, he wanted to let you know that it was okay if you were interested in his friend.

“You know, I think Eddie might have a bit of a thing for you. I’ve just spent the last hour hearing about how amazing you are, how brave and smart and how much you care about this random bunch of kids. If he’s saved anyone a spot then I’m fairly sure it’ll be for you.”

“What?” Steve huffed out a laugh before realising you were serious. “Oh, no! No, no, no. Eddie and me are just friends.”

“Platonic with a capital P?”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“Like Robin?”

“Like Robin.”

“And Nancy?”

“Definitely. Just friends.”

“Okay. Good to know.” You gave him an enigmatic smile and turned to begin clearing up. Steve had no clue what had just happened between the two of you, but he was fairly sure he was back in with a chance.

[memyselfandi2008-blog]

What's your favorite Rick and Morty episode and why?

Ahh, that’s such a good question! There’s so many that I really adore and love, so it’ll be kinda tricky to think of a favorite.

My go to episode was originally the very first Rick and Jerry episode, “The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy,” because their dynamic in the episode was amazing and fun to watch. Also, loved seeing Beth try to be a supportive mom and just not knowing how to, because she probably never really dealt with body issues before, and Morty just being there for his sister was also really nice to see. However, I also loved “The Ricklantis Mixup,” because it was just amazing. It seemed to press all the right buttons for me, and the writing was super intricate. The tone shift from our usual R&M to something much darker—and don’t get me wrong R&M can be plenty dark, I just mean this episode had a different flavor—was honestly refreshing, and I know it’s sort of basic, but I’m gonna be basic and say that scene where Evil Morty killed all the Ricks who disagreed with him was just so… *vaguely makes a gesture with my hands* you know! I just love that episode to pieces, and I’m super sad that it wasn’t explored more.

Actually, for all the reasons I love Ricklantis Mixup is what makes me love “Edge of Tomorty: Rick Die Rickpeat.” Although, in that episode, I only really like the A-plot. The B-plot was okay, but I enjoyed seeing Rick die constantly and end up in different universes more than I did seeing Morty going insane because he wanted to be with Jessica. So, I guess that episode can’t really qualify as my favorite because I only liked one half of it.

Oh! Another episode I really loved was “Night Family.” A big part of that is the visuals, but I also just loved Jerry in that episode, because he tried to tell his family to be more considerate, and when they failed to do so, they were met with the consequences of their own actions. Ahh, but I also really liked “Final DeSmithation!”

Sorry, sorry! I’m rambling too much, I’ll stop. 😅

I just really love a lot of episodes from the show, and picking a favorite can be super hard for me sometimes.

But if I had to choose, I’d probably give it to “The Ricklantis Mixup.” Something about that episode just feels right to me, and everything just kinda fits in all the right places.

The animation was stellar, the story was amazing, it was great seeing Evil Morty again after so freakin long. I also liked the little reference to the comics, about a Jerry being in Morty’s position. Still waiting to see if Doofus Jerry will ever decide to make an appearance in the actual show, but I’m not counting on it. :,)

Anyways, sorry this was long and rambly. Thank you so much for the ask!

[franklyshipping]

Engineered Relaxation ~ A Markiplier Ego Fanfic

HERE WE HAVE A GLORIOUS ANON PROMPT WHERE I GET TO WRITE THE FABULOUS MACK FROM ISWM FOR THE FIRST TIME, AND I AM HELLA EXCITED! LET’S DO THIS!

On the Invincible II, every aspect of the space-faring vessel runs like clockwork. Each department from cryo to engineering to weapons functions like a dream (in this particular reality, at least). This is because the crew are headed by a truly confident and charismatic captain, who always seemed to have an answer for even the slightest issue. He was well-loved and well-respected by absolutely everyone… though there was one crew member who enjoyed bantering with his dear Captain Mack. The crew member in question? Mark, the head of engineering upon Invincible II.

He and Mack were easily best friends on the ship. This was evident from how Mark was the only one who could get away with making fun of Mack, and Mack was the only who could tease Mark about his engineering skills and live to tell the tale. There would always be some new banterous exchange between them, however recently Mark had noticed that the captain had not been putting as much energy into their playful jabs. Mark noticed this kind of thing with Mack from time to time, as it was a clear sign of the captain over-working himself, trying to do everything at once for the sake of giving his crew rest and relaxation – all at the cost of his own energy.

So of course, the only thing Mark put on his agenda for the day was somehow getting Mack to take a break, by any means necessary. First, he would have to corner him somewhere. Luckily for Mark, Mack had ended up in his engineering department and had insistently been doing extra maintenance inspections so Mark’s junior engineers could have the day off. Mark had his arms folded as Mack checked on pressure levels, the rate of internal combustion, and other factors. Mark let out a sigh, which made Mack raise an eyebrow at him as he glanced up from the huge dashboard.

‘Something you want to say, friend?’

‘Huh, me? Oh no, no I hardly have anything to say.’

Mark retorted, making Mack sigh. He knew that tone. That tone was the biggest clue that Mark wanted to blurt out some dramatic rant or ramble. Mack folded his arms at him and raised an eyebrow.

‘Go on, it’s clear you’re dying to say something.’

Mark thought for a moment.

‘Do I have my Captain’s permission to speak freely without repercussions?’

Mack bit back a smile.

‘I’ll allow it.’

‘Alright, you’re a goddamn moron.’

Mack, admittedly, was taken aback. Sure he and Mark had their banter, but straight up calling him a moron? That was a new one.

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘You know you are! You’ve been slaving away in micro-manage mode for days, even though everyone on this crew is perfectly fine doing their jobs themselves! But no, being Mr Big Heart you just had to go ahead and take on everyone’s work.’

‘The crew deserve rest every once in a while Mark!’

‘Yeah, that’s why we have diligently organised shift schedules and more than one person in a department you doofus!’

Mark huffed, putting his hands on his hips as he gave Mack his most aggrieved, disappointed look, which admittedly did make the captain feel a teensy bit bad. Mark then came up to him and prodded his chest, his tone insistent.

‘Now, I don’t often say this out loud, but you’re my best friend. I’m not going to let you work yourself to death, because then you’ll become some ridiculous martyr and I’ll probably be the one who’ll have to build your dumb shrine.’

Mack snorted, a grin appearing on his face.

‘I could just order you to build me a shrine right now, bestie.’

‘Don’t push your luck, Captain.’

The two men were practically nose to nose now, reaching the peak of their banterous exchange as Mark’s mouth curled into a sneer, and Mack’s thinned into a sly little curve. Mark tilted his head at Mack as he sighed.

‘I really hoped I’d convince you to take a break with this little chat… but it looks like I’m going to have to use more forceful measures.’

Mack’s eyes gleamed with amusement.

‘Is that a threat?’

Mark chuckled, and lowered his voice.

‘Yes.’

Suddenly, Mark’s hands had locked around Mack’s arms as he yanked him to the floor, giving the backs of his knees a little kick to made sure he’d crumple. Mack yelped with surprise, and before he knew it Mark had him pinned on the ground, straddling his hips and keeping his arms pinned under his knees.

‘What the hell get off me!’

‘Nope.’

‘Mark!’

‘No can do.’

‘I’m ordering you!’

‘I’m sure you are.’

Mack let out a frustrated growl as he struggled, but unfortunately Mark was considerably stronger than him. Mark grinned down at him, and then casually rested his hands on top of Mack’s stomach, drumming his fingers a little. The action made Mack freeze, his eyes widening as he looked up at Mark.

‘Mark… don’t.’

‘Don’t what?’

‘You know–’

Mack suddenly bit his lip as Mark curled his fingers, fighting a smile as Mark’s grin got wider.

‘Something wrong?’

‘Mark– c’mon you promised you wouldn’t– ah!’

Mack yelped, and descended into frantic giggles as Mark’s deft, quick fingers tickled his stomach, dancing and fluttering eagerly as Mark snickered.

‘I know I promised I wouldn’t use your great ticklish weakness against you, but desperate times call for desperate measures my friend.’

‘Yohohohou ahahahasshohole!’

Mack exclaimed, wriggling about and arching his back as his vulnerable stomach was attacked with tickling. Mack prided himself on being a strong captain with no weaknesses, he was tough, agile, a quick thinker, and very open-minded, all of which made him an excellent captain. But something he’d always managed to keep secret was his insane ticklishness. Well, almost secret. Mark had discovered it on one of the many occasions he’d been prodding Mack to irritate him – luckily Mack had sworn him to secrecy… but that didn’t keep him safe from Mark’s eager (and frequent) tickle attacks in private.

‘Now now, I thought a Captain was meant to have good manners?’

Mark slipped his fingers under Mack’s shirt and pinched at the centre of his tummy, making the poor man snort and cackle. As if the tickling wasn’t enough, Mark just had to tease him as well. Mack could feel heat threatening to bloom on his face as he spluttered.

‘Oh screhehew yohohou!’

Mark chuckled, letting out a low whistle as he pinched eagerly at Mack’s muscled stomach.

‘Wow, at least buy me dinner first.’

Mack snorted, his legs started to kick wildly now as the tummy tickling sent waves of tingles through him from head to toe. The thing that embarrassed Mack the most however, was the fact that he was having fun, and he knew that Mark knew it. Mark fingers continued dancing over his bare tummy with scratches and the occasional pinch, which made Mack somehow feel more ticklish as the minutes went by.

‘Mahahark c’mohohon! Enohohough!’

‘Aww, can’t you handle it?’

‘Thihihis ihihis mehehean!’

‘Hmm….I might stop….on one condition.’

Mark teased, and Mack suddenly howled when he felt Mark’s pinky finger wiggle in his bellybutton. His whole body jolted like he’d been electrocuted, and his shriek was impressive to say the least.

‘AAHHHHH WHAHAHA-?!’

Mark laughed, and he leaned down so he was nose to nose with Mack so he could whisper.

‘I’ll stop if you promise to relax and stop micro-managing the crew.’

Mark grinned as he watched Mack thrash, loving how his cheeks went a dark pink as he laughed. He knew he was being mean, getting him to make the promise whilst having his worst tickle spot attacked, but it was too fun to pass up! He let his little finger wiggle and swirl inside the cute innie divot, making Mack wail through his laughter.

‘OHOHOHO MY GAHAHAD NAHAHAT THEHEHERE!’

‘Is that a yes to the promise?’

‘MAHAHARK JUHUHUST STAHAHAPPIT!’

‘Ah ah ah I need to hear a yes first!’

Mark sing-songed, which only made Mack’s blush darken as he laughed even harder. He knew if he made the promise Mark would tease him, and if he didn’t make the promise he’d be tickled and teased! It was certainly a dilemma, and for a moment Mack thought maybe he’d be able to hold out… until Mark somehow wiggled his pinky finger at the speed of light.

‘OKAYOKAYOKAY YEHEHES I PROHOMISE!’

‘Excellent! I knew you’d see it my way.’

Mark had mercy, and to be a good sport he released Mack’s hands from under his knees. The giggly Captain hurriedly pulled his shirt down over his, now rather pink, stomach as he panted. Mark grinned down at him, which earned him a half-hearted glare.

‘I hahate you.’

‘No you don’t.’

‘Yehes I do.’

‘Do not.’

‘I want you to burn in the fires of a supernova.’

Mark burst out laughing, throwing his head back as Mack giggled and rubbed his stomach. Mark finally stood up and helped Mack to his feet, both of them brushing down their uniforms. Mack fixed his hair in a nearby reflective panel, and Mark leaned in behind him with a grin.

‘You missed a bit–’

‘I will throw you out of the dang airlock!’

Mark snorted with a grin, and then slung his arm over Mack’s shoulders. He nudged him gently, and his voice softened.

‘Popcorn and movies to unwind?’

Mack looked at him, and felt himself already relax at the idea. He sighed, and his curved smirk softened into his rare, but very lovely, smile.

‘Yeah… thanks.’

‘Anytime.’

Mark winked, earning him an eyeroll as the two headed out through the ship. As the leader of a ship that explored through the dangers of space literally everyday, it made sense that Mack found it hard to relax sometimes. He was always trying to keep his crewmates, his friends, safe and happy, and so it was good that he had Mark by his side. No, it was better than good. With Mark by his side, his head engineer, his best friend, helping him take care of himself… Mack knew that he could be invincible.

WOOOO HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THIS FIC, LEMME KNOW IF YA DIIID! LUV YOUS!!

[rhaenyyras]

super fluffy snippet from my steddie friends with benefits fic (where steddie are big idiots in love) 💘

"Let's just call it even, yeah?" Eddie calls out, hands raised in defeat. "You nearly killed me with the lamp. I spilled a smidge of orange juice on you. Let's call a truce?"

"I don't think so, Munson. You owe me one."

Eddie's voice shoots up like a million octaves.

"I owe you one?!" he basically shrieks. "You tried to kill me with a lamp, Harrington."

"That was accidental and you know it."

Steve takes two steps forward and Eddie jolts back like a deer caught in headlights. He looks around for somewhere safe and climbs up onto the nearby pool chair, grabbing a pillow to defend himself. Though a smile slips through his mostly serious facade, and Steve laughs at how much fun this is going to be.

"Seemed pretty deliberate to me. "

"You wanna talk about deliberate?" Steve gestures to his clothes, now stained with orange juice. "I think you planned this. I think this was a long con."

Eddie scoffs a laugh but it quickly turns into another shriek as Steve runs towards the pool chair Eddie is taking refuge on. Naturally, Eddie flees to the next pool chair and then the next until he runs out of pool chairs and has to jump onto the ground. He backs up towards the edge of the pool which is exactly where Steve wants him, only Eddie doesn't know it yet.

Steve is covered in orange juice, wants payback, and Eddie has basically walked up to the pool and put a toe in. So, it makes sense to tackle all those things at once.

"Oh, please, you doofus. If i was running a long con, it wouldn't be orange juice related—"

"So what, I'm the doofus? I think you're the doofus."

"Oh, me? I'm the doofus—" Eddie half-shouts, at the same time Steve says, "Well, if the doofus shoe fits."

Eddie laughs as he considers his reply, and then he suddenly connects the dots: Steve's smirk, and how close they are to the pool, and how casually Steve has been playing it up until now.

He raises his hands in the air to ask for a truce but then he must sense that's not going to happen because he starts to run away.

"No, no, Steve, wait, let's be reasonable adults—"

This time, Steve is ninja fast.

He grabs Eddie by the waist, throws him over his shoulder and runs towards the pool. Eddie shrieks and swears the whole way there but it doesn't slow Steve down. He leaps into the water and they crash through the cool surface together. And for a pretty warm night in June, a night swim feels perfect. They go under together and then come up for air, soaking wet and giggling like idiots.

~

read the rest here 🙃🖤

[barry-j-blupjeans]

@taznovembercelebration - jewelry or blanket

"Just give Lup the ring," Taako said. "It's not that big of a deal," Taako said. "Stop being a fucking coward," Taako said. Well, uh, first of all, Taako, it was definitely a big deal. It's not like Barry had the suave and charm of Kravitz, who could swoop in and propose to Taako after they'd dated for only two years. Sure, Barry and Lup had been dating for a while but not that long. And what if she didn't want to get married? What if he screwed it up? What if he did it at the wrong moment? What if-

What if he fell asleep with his jean jacket on after a date when he had once again tried to work himself up to propose and when he woke up, the ring box was missing from his pocket?

So, no, Taako, it wasn't that easy. Especially if the love of your life was still sleeping and you were quietly panicking and attempting to move the blankets without waking her up.

Barry was an idiot. An idiot with a doctorate but still an idiot nonetheless. Science was easy. Science didn't have feelings and, therefore, he could not ruin his relationship with it. With science, he could experiment and mess up and try again, with Lup? He didn't want to fuck this up. He loved her. A lot. Maybe too much.

And she was sleeping on the goddamn ring.

Barry could see it from where he was sitting. All the other pillows and blankets had been deposited on the floor in his search but the second he looked under the one Lup was curled up in, he could see it near her ribs, half wedged underneath her back.

Okay. Okay, okay, okay. He could do this. All he had to do is more Lup over like, a little bit. A small, minuscule amount. It was like looking at something under a microscope. Easy. Fun. Weird little squirming dots and lines- no, that didn't make sense. Very, very gently, he slipped his hand under Lup's back, carefully turning her to face the one way. He held his breath and stopped when the ring was free, propping Lup up on her side.

He took the ring. And, slowly, slowly, he began to put Lup back in place. Pulling softly on her shoulder, he lowered her back down. When he was finished, he scrambled to get the ring box in his hands and popped it open.

The ring was gone. Fuck.

"Looking for somethin', Bar?"

Barry snapped his head up to see Lup, looking a little bleary-eyed, but grinning. Between her pointer finger and her thumb, she held up the ring.

Fuck.

"Fuck," Barry said.

"You're such a doofus," Lup said, turning over to face him. She pulled on Barry's shirt to get him to lie down. He laughed a little, breathless, both from nerves and just because he loved her so much. "Taako said you've had this for a month."

"Fuck," Barry said again. Lup broke into giggles next to him, shuffling forward to hide her head in his neck. "He said he wouldn't tell you!"

"Babe, Taako tells me everything," Lup said. "Have you seen him trying to lie?"

"Unfortunately," Barry said, resting his head against Lup's. Lup slowly stopped giggling and Barry found himself smiling despite the situation. They lapsed into a comfortable silence, where Lup lifted her head to press little kisses along his jaw. Barry wrapped an arm around her, holding her closer.

"What were you nervous about?" Lup whispered.

"Just- y'know..." Barry said. He signed, shuffling back a little. "I get too worked up about and then I psych myself out and then I start feeling weird that like, you won't wanna spend the rest of your life with me. I know we've talked it through before and stuff, but it's just- I love you a lot, Lup, and I don't wanna- I don't wanna fuck that up. 'Cuz it's gotta be special."

"Hm," Lup said. She brought a hand up to his face, lacing her fingers in his hair. "I get that. I also don't wanna fuck this up. But I think that, uhm, at this point, babe? Even if things do get weird, in a bad way, I mean, we can work to fix it. I've known you almost my entire life and I love you so much. Nothing you can do is gonna make me not love you. I know you have- worries-" Barry snorted and Lup grinned a little. "But really. We got this. If you wanna wait on it, then we can, but you are my forever. Got that?"

"Got it," Barry said. Lup leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips. "Thank you."

"No prob, hot stuff," Lup said. She reached for his hands and pressed the ring into it. "You wanna try again?"

"Ehh," Barry said. "I kinda wanna sleep. After, maybe?"

"After works," Lup said, pulling her blanket up. She paused, clearly thinking. "You gotta get your blankets off the floor, though, 'cus I'm not gonna share with you."

"That's, uh, that's fair," Barry said, scooting towards the edge of the bed. "I'll get 'em."

[midnightexpressproductions]

I completely forgot I had these in my drafts

With these last two character intros, this finally rounds out the full main cast!

No update for today but I'll hopefully have one coming up for y'all soon.

Gwen Nguyen | The Kid

-----------------

While she might seem like a sweet and innocent kid at first glance, Gwen is precocious and snarky to a fault. She wants to be taken seriously and doesn't like being coddled due to her disability or because of her age. Gwen isn't afraid to make her dislike of someone known, making crude gestures or mocking them behind their backs. She'd say that she is mature for her age but that couldn't be further from the truth. Because Gwen doesn't want to be seen as helpless, she is very adamant in learning how to fight and take care of herself, wanting to do her part in protecting the crew. Gwen is very trusting when you first meet her. However, that trust can be easily broken and once lost can never be regained. Even during the apocalypse, Gwen has not given up hope of a brighter future.

Fun Facts:

She absolutely loves bears. Gwen's favorites are sun bears and grizzly bears.

Her full name is Gwendolyn. Call her that and she'll hate you forever.

She likes giving little trinkets of her appreciation to the rest of the crew. Shiny rocks, flowers, bottle caps, anything she thinks that they would like.

Gwen is fluent in ASL and she is learning how to speak HCMC sign language.

She doesn't like dogs.

If she had to choose who her favorite was in the crew, it'd be either Max or Javier. Gwen likes drawing with Max and pushing Javier's buttons is always fun.

She hates the dark.

Gwen still has her polar bear plush that she's had since birth. She keeps it hidden away in her backpack.

Pa and Ma Hazel | The Guardians

-----------------

Pa might look like a big scary dog but in actuality, he's just a big ol' doofus. He's more friendlier compared to Ma Hazel, greeting anyone (human or animal) he meets with a multitude of puppy dog kisses. He's also much more curious, a trait that causes Pa to wander off rather frequently. Luckily, Ma Hazel is around to keep him in check. She's the complete opposite of Pa, her almost cat-like personality making her a difficult dog to get along with. She's known as the princess of the crew and she likes to be treated as such. While it doesn't take much for Pa to trust someone, Ma Hazel isn't so easily swayed. Once you've gained their trust however, you've gained a friend for life and both Pa and Ma Hazel will fiercely protect the people they love.

Fun Facts:

No one knows their real names. Derek's the one who renamed them as Pa and Ma Hazel and that's what they've been answering to ever since.

Ma Hazel is picky with who she gives attention to. Her favorite humans so far are Derek and Gwen.

Pa loves everyone equally but Gwen seems to be his most favorite.

Ma Hazel hates getting baths. She loves having her fur brushed through.

Pa likes to chew on everything he finds and because of this, will bring back random objects. After the crew received a few grisly presents, he's not allowed to wander by himself anymore.

Ma Hazel is a secret troublemaker. She'll get into the treats hidden away or eat any food left out. Because of how stoic she seems, everyone assumes Pa did it.

They both seem to understand commands in English and Spanish.