#i just. i wonder where the fuck i get it from??

[la-di-da-la-di-dee-die]

@wolfythewitch ‘s Gravity Fowls au has awoken a lost childhood memory of mine recently, specifically because their au is so similar to one of my favorite books when I was a kid: Fantastic Mr. Fox

Basic summary of the book: Three Evil Capitalist Farmers attempt to starve local anthro fox family who regularly steal their products (chickens, goose, duck, turkey, and apples/cider) via bio terrorism, failing miserably at every turn.

Now, you may be wondering, what the actual fuck does that have to do with Gravity Fowls? Well, a major part of the book is that the previously mentioned anthro-fox family has been forced underground by previously mentioned Evil Capitalist Farmers, and so Mr. Fox (the mc) has to devise a fool proof method of getting his family food: tunneling farther underground toward the Evil Capitalist Farms and stealing their produce that way instead of the regular way. I don’t know why, but that just sounds like something Bill would do? Like it just fits his vibes.

So, I just had to draw Bill in Mr. Fox’s outfit!

Isn’t he just so handsome? I also drew one other fanart, and some quick context for this next one:

The Evil Capitalist Farmers also accidentally drive the other wildlife into hiding with their bio-terrorism, which are also anthropomorphic (note: all the animals are anthro, but not the chickens or other produce? Probably too dark for a kids book idk). The other animals blame Mr. Fox for being a fucking sneak, and Mr. Fox is like, woah guys! Don’t worry, I’ve fixed everything, I’ve got an infinite food glitch! We just use these tunnels me and the fam have dug to steal more food! I even got some carrots for the vegetarians! And the other animals are like, alright seems legit.

Why all this context? Because I drew Bill’s henchmaniac crew as origami animals based off the other animals from Fantastic Mr. Fox:

I imagine they still live in the nightmare dimension, but they just origami now. btw all the animals in the book have names like Mr. Weasel, and Mr. Mole, with wife and kids too, which is wild to me. Except Mr. Rat. He’s an aweful disgusting thief (which, who in this book isn’t??) whose constantly getting drunk off Cider (which, again, who tf in this book isn’t?? Even one of the anthro-kids gets drunk at some point??)

But I didn’t just make fanart that catered to me and only me, I also made this:

I had this thought of, what if during weirdmagedon, instead of just getting a 3D form, Bill turns into an actual fox, not just an origami one? So that’s where this came from. Also it should be criminal how long it took me to draw Stanford! I spent so long on that fucking chicken.

Uhm, conclusion? Gravity Fowls is awesome, and respect to Wolfythewitch for being able to actually draw chickens consistently well, I only dream to be able to master that skill.

[lufyuu]

Dragon's Offsprings

Tw/s: voyeurism, double penetrating, rough Zihao, breeding, inserting eggs(?)

Description: a drabble of the freaky Zihao

Pitter patter

The rain seems to never stop. It has been raining for almost 3 days straight. Despite the heavy rain, Liu Zihao would always travel the long way to the courthouse to work. The rain doesn't stop criminals from commiting crimes, it encourages them in a way. Though that doesn't include you who have been in the manor for a long month. You got used to this lifestyle a long time ago. Waking up whenever you want, going to bed whenever you want, having whatever food you wanted. The only restriction is that you are not allowed outside without Zihao being there by your side. It's not too bad, better than being chased all the time anyways.

Today's not too bad, at least so far. You're home alone, the chefs and maids having left as per your request. Despite being home alone, you can't escape, you've tried before and it's really no worth all that work just to be tracked down again in just a mere minute. Liu Zihao always knows where you are. You look at the clock which points at a quarter to 6pm. Usually Zihao's home for dinner around this time. Whatever, probably had more work to do today. You'll just eat dinner by yourself.

The aroma of delicious food floods your nose. Your eyes are drawn to the two plates placed on the table. You take one plate and start munching on food while sitting down. Even if it's a large yet quiet and empty house, you pay no mind to that as you've lived alone for a while before all this luxury. The steal is cooked just to your liking, it's juicy and delicious with the right amount of spices added to make sure it's not too salty yet not bland at all. After chewing on the steak, you take the fork and grab some pasta plates next to the steak. Twisting it and lifting the fork to your lips. It's creamy and flavourful, the saltiness and creamy flavour compliments each other very well. You enjoy the meal to the fullest in silence, enjoying every second.

You throw the empty and dirty plate in the sink, not bothering to wash it. Zihao will deal with it like he always does. No reason to waste your time with that. 'Now what do I do?' , you wonder to yourself while walking up the flight of stairs, heading to your bedroom. Oftentimes, your bed is also Zihao's bed. He loves cuddling up with you and just making sure you're within his grasp. "Agh", you plop face first onto the soft bed. For some reason, the atmosphere is off without Zihao. Usually by this time, he'd already be fucking you dumb until you pass out or get too tired to continue. You wouldnt ever admit it but it became a routine. Your body's gotten used to it and so have you. Because of this, you feel like you need to do something about this itching feeling you have.

"Ah...ngh", you moan, face flushed with a vibrating dildo deep in your hole. Your teeth's biting onto your lifted shirt, your dominant hand pushing and pulling the dildo in and out. "Z-Zihao..mm..!", you unconsciously moan out his name, your other hand now on your dick going up and down to stimulate yourself even more. No matter how much you stimulate yourself, you can't seem to cum. You need something bigger to please you. Usually you'd be ashamed to even think about Zihao let alone his two cocks but right now, as you're trying to chase your climax, it doesn't matter. "More...aagghh", you moan out even louder than before, not noticing the piercing purple eyes staring at your sweaty and horny figure from the top of the stairs.

You close your eyes, imagining it was Zihao inside you right now and not a silicone wannabe. "F-fuckk..!", you almost yell out, getting so close to cumming. When you hear footsteps close to where you are, you immediately freeze and look at who it is. Your ego instantly crushed, the embarrassment getting to you, hard. You reach over for the fluffy blanket only for it to be thrown at the wall and fall onto the floor by a mere gesture of Zihao's fingers. With another snap of his fingers, a comfortable chair appears infront of the bed. He sits with his legs crossed, head leaning on his hand which is cushioned on the chair. "Do continue", his expression remains unchanged, it's a plain expression, neither a smile nor frown, his eyes are relaxed but at the same time, they're demanding you to continue on your little action. Despite this, you remain frozen long enough for him to demand once more, "was I not clear? Continue your little activity, now.", it sends shivers down your spine, as if he's a predator and you're his prey.

Without a way out of this, you spread your legs and continue letting the dildo go in and out of you, each time faster and faster than before. Now with a pair of eyes watching you do this to yourself, it's embarrassing, you feel like crying due to how bad of a fall your ego took. Never in your life did you think you'd be putting on a show for anyone. "Ngh...", you try to cover your own voice, biting your lip to prevent your moans from getting too loud. This doesn't amuse Zihao at all. "Stop biting your lip", his voice alone makes your body shiver in fear. Reluctantly, you stop biting your lip, "a-ahh...aggh..", the pleasure overtaking your thoughts, in the heat of the moment, you blurt out: "Z-Zihao.."

Just one word. One singular word. That was enough for Zihao to widen his eyes and instantly get up, "that's enough.", he looks down on your figure which is laying on the bed, all prepped and ready to take his cocks and maybe something more.

In a blink of an eye, he pushes you to the bedframe as you are now sitting up, your back laying against the bedframe. He takes off his coat and throws it aside, not caring if it got dirty or wrinkled. "My mate can't even stand a few hours without me, how cute", he smiles a bit, blushing while you're up against the bedframe, horny and wanting him to be deep inside you already without so much yapping.

As if reading your mind, he grants you your wish and shoves his two hard cocks in your hole almost immediately after you thought about them. He guides your hands to wrap around his neck. Then, he holds the sides of your hips and begins to pound in and out of you, you cursing everytime it goes in. Thankfully, your hole is already lubricated, giving the cocks an easier time in fucking your hole. You feel so full but usually it takes Zihao a long long time to decide it's finally time to stop. His thrusts are rough, not in the slightest bit gentle. The bulge on your stomach is very much visible, it moves up and down your lower stomach in a fast pace. "Agh..m", he grunts and moans, feeling the tightness of your hole as you clench down, feeling close to cumming. Your moans get progressively louder by the second. Zihao makes sure it does by pounding even harder.

"Cu-cumming..! Aggghh", you moan loudly while cumming, the cum splurting all over your own body while Zihao is still pounding you. He's chasing his own climax. You feel overstimulated as he's pounding so roughly. It's a lot rougher than usual but you barely notice due to your brain being so foggy by this point. "You're ready to take my children, aren't you my dear mate?", he asks but it's more of a rhetorical question. Before you can answer his absurd question, you feel something being pushed into you, something big. Multiple of them. "Z-Zihao..ah, what's tha—aghh", you feel him cumming inside, his cum thicker and much more than usual. You don't notice it but the mark on your lower stomach started glowing for a mere 3 seconds before returning back to its solid purple color.

Zihao pulls out both his cocks yet despite that, your stomach still has a visible bulge. You feel so so full and not just because of his cum. "Zihao, what's inside me..?", you ask him, confused on what he put inside to make you look bloated. "Oh my dear, those are my eggs", your eyes widen immediately and you try to jump up or out the bed but he stops you, "we can't afford you getting hurt when you're carrying our children", he frowns and looks at you as if this is common knowledge. He's ready to take the role of the father of his kids and your one and only husband, but are you?

══════════════════════════════

There you have it freakies, you're now gon' lay eggs/hj

[onlyhyunjin]

𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒!

(♡) - my personal favorites (🔞) - CONTAINS NSFW CONTENT

NEW BEGINNINGS - @ikeuverse (flirting with your brother's brother-in-law wasn't in your plans after returning from studying abroad. it wasn't something you were going to stop either since heeseung was the epitome of beauty. but when there's another woman's name in the story. what happens? you don't want to be caught between a betrayal… or so you thought.) (♡)

MARRY ME - @ikeuverse (ever since you met lee heeseung, he told you that the two of you were going to get married. all the time, at every opportunity, he reinforced it until one day, drunk, you accepted. was he dreaming or did it really happen? it wouldn't be so bad to fall for his jokes for once.)

TIDES OF REGRET - @pprodsuga (in the year since heeseung first rejected your love confession, you've tried everything to get over him. a trip to europe makes you realize you miss your former best friend more than anything, and it makes heeseung realize he's got it all wrong.) (♡)(🔞)

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER - @i2sunric (your daughter asks heeseung to tell the greatest love story of all and he takes the chance to narrate how he met you, the love of his life.) (♡)

JUNE BLOSSOMS - @soobnny (synopsis. as the month of may ends, you wonder what june holds for you and heeseung (especially with no more need to fake date.)

LATE SUMMER LOVIN' - @4am-enha (you desperately want to spend your last summer here in town with your friends, only to find out almost all of them are away on vacation. that is, all of them but heeseung. the one friend you’d never really been that close with.)

BITE ME - @drunkhazed (“I’m kind of confused still.” You admit, anxiously shuffling to sit without making eye-contact. Heeseung chuckles plopping down by your side, arm slinging back over your shoulder to keep you pressed against him.)(🔞)

COFFEE & CREAM - @ham-st4r (one chilly night after a long work shift, you’re unfortunately forced to walk home. Cause you left your bag at work, half way through your journey you stumble across a homeless man who you naturally offer money to, and he though he refuses. You give it to him anyway, and down the road, you’ll find that those two dollars changed not only his life but yours as well.) (🔞)

IT'S CUPID, STUPID - @mygnolia (To hell with Lee Heeseung, you couldn't find someone you hated more than the boy who's by your side no matter what. You figured that maybe the summer before university would be the best way to finally let go of him, and to leave the hate you have in your childhood- but no. What do you mean you have to spend ALL summer with him?)

FUCK BUDDIES - @dimepdf (y/n and heeseung and fwb after heeseung win in his football match y/n gives him the best reward)

TEETH - @gyuuberryy (you were not thrilled about the move in of your new neighbour. mostly because he was so strange and seemed to be hiding something dark. and partly because you couldn’t stop yourself from getting closer to him because of your unwanted attraction. you were determined to expose his dark secret and get rid of him once and for all. but, it was proving to be a difficult task because he was just so irresistible..and needy.)

PLAYER RANK: PLATINUM - @simpjaes (You’re not sure what’s worse, your sister’s boyfriend or your sister’s boyfriend’s friends. What you thought would be a great deal in living with her throughout college turns into a major game of cat and mouse, where you’re unsure if your moral compass is pointing in the right direction solely because you suspect someone is wearing a giant sex magnet to throw it off.) (🔞)

RUDE - @4wkjun (heeseung has never loved anyone as much as he loves y/n. y/n’s father has never hated someone as much as he hates heeseung. but it doesn’t matter, heeseung’s gonna marry y/n anyway.)

I OFFER YOU MY EVERYTHING - @heegyukeluv (You never cared about sex, until you did. You grew too afraid of it, scared of disappointing the other person or showing your inexperience. But then you met Heeseung, the hot basketball captain that stole your heart and became your biggest fantasy. ) (🔞)

VERBOTEN - @heesbaby (a bad stroke of luck saw lee heeseung, your dads coworker, moving into your small apartment until he found his feet again. emotionally unavailable and a workaholic, you were going to try your absolute hardest to make him loosen up. even if it meant breaking a few of the house rules he'd set out.) (🔞) (♡)

10 DAYS TO FALL IN LOVE - @luvyeni (you and heeseung used to be bestfriends as children — he even told you he'd marry you one day. but then you went to highschool and things changed , he dyed his hair and started hanging out with a new group group of friends. through all that his love never changed for you — has yours changed for him?)

RENT A BOYFRIEND - @jayujus (in which jeon y/n is desperate to find a boyfriend ASAP because she needs a date for her family's mixer. her best friend, ningning, introduces her to a website perfect for this situation!)

CHERRY CHAPSTICK - @angelwonie (ever since you met lee heeseung, he told you that the two of you were going to get married. all the time, at every opportunity, he reinforced it until one day, drunk, you accepted. was he dreaming or did it really happen? it wouldn't be so bad to fall for his jokes for once.)

[thecameronchronicles]

Heat of The Moment

TW: unhinged Rafe. Dominant sex. Dirty talk. Language. Oral sex. Hair pulling. Cum swallowing.

REQUESTED:

@gianadrichardson-blog

So the idea I have in my mind is that y/n and Rafe are dating and Rafe KNOWS that every guy wants y/n from tourons, college guys and even his best friends want her. So while y/n was out of town with her parents, Topper accidentally revealed that he had feelings for y/n and tried to date her while her and Rafe was in the talking stage. So Rafe calls y/n and sees where she at. When Rafe gets y/n location he shows up and let out his frustration he had and record them having sex with y/n then send to topper with the message “keep away from my girl”

Maybe y/n older brother have y/n phone and decided to play a prank on rafe acting like a guy had y/n phone

Heat of the Moment

"What the fuck, Top?!" Rafe accuses, holding Topper's phone high enough out of reach. But your pictures remain on the screen. More specifically, pictures the friend of your boyfriend shouldn't have.

"I- just stop it, man-"

"My girlfriend's tits are on your screen! What am I supposed to think?"

"She's in a bikini but it it doesn't matter okay? Just-just let me have it back." But Rafe smashes it before Topper can even brush his fingers against it. His finger is pointed in his former friend's face before he can right Rafe's actions that he believes wholeheartedly are justified.

"Rafe. When you and her were just talking, I...I thought I had a shot. I get that now, okay? I just, sometimes I wonder what if-"

"If I even see you looking at her after this, you won't be able to ever look again."

Rafe was already fuming. He was jealous and curious, both existing to a dangerous degree that meant his knuckles were bloodied more than healed and his voice hoarse from having defended you.

There wasn't a soul within a dramatic radius within the Outer Banks that didn't see your beauty. Whether it was the stunning way your eyes could focus and become instantly lustful with one look at your boyfriend or the way your voice warmed even the coldest of hearts, Rafe Cameron knew exactly what he had.

Perfection.

He just didn't expect to have to have to defend you to someone so close to him- someone who has apparently had feelings for you since before you were officially anything with Rafe. It makes his hands wrap tightly around the steering wheel and his foot practically punch a hole into the floor of his truck as he races across the Carolina road.

He never thought he left it to question. You were his. He was yours. It was as official as it could be without a ring or contract of marriage and yet he knew he needed to make it unquestionably true to the one person it mattered to.

So without a call or text in warning, he is pounding at your front door.

"Rafe? Are you okay baby, you-" He is over your threshold, face between your hands, your body pulled into his as he kisses you between words.

"You know I love you, yeah?" You nod with your hands coming up around his wrists. If you didn't trust him so gravely then you'd worry for the strength behind his hands as he brought you against him.

"You know I'd do anything for you?" He kisses with a grunt, more animal than the man you talked to earlier this morning.

"And that you say our word and it stops, no questions asked? That you know I put you first?" His forehead rests against yours as he waits for your agreement. It takes less than the time of a blink before he gets it.

"Good, remember that because I'm about to fuck you like I hate you." He lifts you around him and up your steps, suddenly too far away from your room.

You were the complete opposite of touch starved and yet you felt as if you had been drowning without his touch, the first moment of contact being an exhale for relief. Only in the juxtaposition that was being his girlfriend it also made you lightheaded.

"Rafe-" His hand comes up over your mouth as he only manages to get to the steps and turns you to cover them. Your knees dig into the uncomfortable wood and yet all you can focus on is the heat of the moment.

"Need to use that word, baby?"

You shake your head as he guides your hands around the open spaces between the bars making up your bannister.

"Then hold on." His belt sounds first and then the rough fabric of his pants being shoved.

"Jesus Christ, baby, I don't even need to spit on my cock, so I?" He leans over you, kicking your legs just wide enough to leave some comfort in the angle. "Always so wet for me isn't that right?"

"Always!" You moan into his hand as he grins against your shoulder before reaching into his pocket.

You hear the wrapper of the confom being torn and make the mistake to turn and see him do it with his teeth. Something about the savagery of it and the heat behind his eyes, still possessing your care above all else, and it sends you drenching the valley awaiting him.

"Safe and-" He moans, a deep honey tone, that makes your toes curl knowing you wrap around him snuggly enough to cause such a reaction.

"Tight, baby! Fuck!" He hits the stairs beside your cheek and yet it does nothing to limit anything. If anything, it spurs you both on as his other hand releases your mouth and you're able to kiss the skin of his fist as if to soften his rigidity.

"How are you so sweet AND sexy-hmm? Always know just what I need don't you baby?" Your body wills itself to endure all that is Rafe Cameron. Every tension soiling his happiness now pumping through every snap of his hips until all that remains is the frustration you know he veils from you. Still, you trust that every shove of him into you is only a method of showing you he cares.

However, it has never been quite this possessive before. Quite this needy. Quite this deep or hard.

And you fucking love it.

His hands can't move fast enough and yet they are graceful and not amateur. He rolls your nipples as he kisses your neck, thrusting without break, and whispering every dirty thought you have constructed in your time apart.

And then he becomes completely and utterly unhinged. Taking you in his lap, he pulls you facing away from him, still seated to the root. He bounces you, one hand around your neck, as the other rubs your clit. It can't be comfortable for him with the wood beneath you and still he is too driven by the cries you're making in the sound of his name to care about anything but this next thrust-or the dozens that follow.

"Nobody knows just how dirty you get for me, isn't that right baby? How deep you take my dick in this perfect little pussy? Yeah?" He slaps your clit with just enough pressure to make you jolt until he lifts his hips and makes you forget of the sting it leaves behind.

"How loud you get? It's a miracle nobody has called the cops yet. You sound like you're in pain, shit-" He turns you to him with the grip around your neck moving to your jaw and turning you to him.

"You good baby?"

"Harder-"

"That's my fucking girl?" You're lifted with a gasp following you as he takes you into your room. You are only allowed the reprieve of wood beneath your soles for a second before he's rutting you into the bed. Hand pushing your face into the sheets to somewhat muffle your screaming, all you hear is the repetitive "yeah"s in the mix of your name as he wallows in you.

"Do I have to worry about anyone else ever knowing about how good you feel?" You are torn away from your blissful daze at the question.

"What?" You turn and face him, seeing the phone pointed towards you. The heat from your skin accelerated until it is now the marrow in your bones and you can't cool it, not that you want to.

"Who fucks you deep enough to make you soak his cock like this?"

"Rafe!" You manage as he pulls your hair and makes your back arch for him.

"Who makes you dizzy and shit when he knows just where to hit?"

He pulls you to him, against his chest until you can look up at him.

"Who loves you enough to prove to everyone on this goddamn island you're his?! Huh?"

"RAFE! GOD! YOU, RAFE?" You sob, the pleasure almost painful as he grips your hip with one hand and keeps the phone recording in the other. The video is shaky and then disposed of as his cum begins to shoot from his heavy balls and up his shaft.

"On your knees, baby-" He takes the phone back, pointing it to your face. As always, he kisses you sweetly and runs a thumb over your lips, before you take him behind your smirk.

"Ohhh baby-" You accept him slowly before opening your throat to him. Eyes locked and cheeks prepped to be hollow, you wait as he cocks his head before powering through. He thrusts.

Twice.

Once.

And then becomes a blur.

Only grunts and 'fucks' leave between moans.

"Shit baby, you're gonna make me come- you want it?" He asks, managing to open his eyes long enough to see you nod. Digging your nails into his thighs, you drive him to pulse into your throat, over your tongue, and along with your swallow.

"Open-" he points the camera to show just the good girl you are.

"I fucking love you, baby, and now nobody will question who you belong to again."

"I don't think they do, Rafe..." You laugh it off as he helps you to your feet and into his arms within your bed.

As you fall asleep, you hear him tapping away on his phone before finally focusing completely on you. You rest well within his arms, satisfied in the countless orgasms you had as he reached his own, sweet dreams awaiting you that pale in comparison to what it means to be loved by Rafe.

Across town, Topper's phone buzzes. A video file from Rafe. The new phone, bought not even ten minutes after his last one was smashed sits in wait for the message.

MP4 file.

It is opened. The sound of slurping around the impressive shaft, angry and near completion is spliced with the sight of you spread for him on the stairs as well as the hip of the bed. Your cries are only of pleasure and they echo as the video plays.

"Stay away from my girl." Comes a warning meant for Topper.

Only it isn't Topper's eyes that come to the scene.

And it isn't Topper's life that gets the threat.

It is your brother's and he has just been waiting for an excuse to let out his own rage out against Rafe.

MASTERLIST

[hoshifighting]

heyy there!!

I was wondering if you could write a fiction where the svt members give a silent treatment to the reader but she is too sensitive and starts crying (because she thinks she doesn't deserve them)

Please feel free to reject it if ur uncomfortable 😚😚

seventeen reaction when you start to cry when they give you a silent treatment

a/n: guyyyys im the worst with angst, but i tried!! 🙏

seungcheol the second you start shaking, he’s up on his feet, crossing the room and pulling you into a tight, crushing hug. he’s warm, solid, his hand gently cradling the back of your head. “my fault, my fault, my fault,” he whispers, his voice hoarse. “i should’ve been better. i should’ve stopped this. i didn’t mean to hurt you. god, i didn’t mean it.”

jeonghan’s regretting it the whole time. too good at keeping his distance, until he sees the tears running down your cheeks. then, he freezes “hey, hey…” he pulls you into his arms, wiping your tears away with his thumb. “shit, i’m sorry. you know i was just being stupid, right?” he leans his forehead against yours, brushing his fingers through your hair. “don’t cry, baby. it kills me to see you like this.”

joshua he’s always so gentle, i dont even see him giving silent treatment to someone. he’s instantly at your side, cupping your face in his hands. “please don’t cry. i hate this. i hate that i made you feel like this.” his voice wavers as he presses his lips to your forehead, his touch feather-light. “i love you, okay? i’m so sorry. i should’ve never let it get this far.”

junhui’s been avoiding your gaze, trying to keep the silence going even though it’s killing him. that first broken sob makes him almost freak out, he’s at your side, his hands trembling as he touches your arm. “oh— i— no, don’t cry,” he murmurs, his voice in purew panic. he gently pulls you into his lap, wrapping his arms around you.

hoshi snapd. of course he snaps. he practically flies out of his seat, rushing over to you, arms wide. “oh, shit—no, no, don’t cry, don’t cry,” he blurts out, voice frantic as he wraps you up in the tightest hug, almost lifting you off the ground with how desperate he is. his fingers stroke your back awkwardly, trying to soothe you, and his voice is trembling.

wonwoo when he sees the tears fall, something inside him bursts. he’s not good at dealing with emotions, but he can’t just sit there while you’re crying. he pulls you gently onto his lap, his hand awkwardly stroking your hair. “i’m sorry, i don’t always know how to show it… but i care. a lot. i never wanted to make you cry.” he presses a kiss to your temple, his heart racing. “don’t cry, please. or I will cry too.” wonwoo says—already crying.

woozi stands up, awkwardly hovering for a second before pulling you into a tight hug. “fuck… i’m sorry,” he whispers against your hair. “i didn’t mean to push you this far.” his grip on you tightens, and he rests his chin on your head, letting out a shaky breath. “i can’t stand seeing you like this.” fingers twitching like he’s about to break any second.

minghao crouches down now too, right in front of you. he doesn’t say much at first, just gently tugs your hands away from your face, his touch delicate, like he’s scared to break you even more. “this was stupid, i shouldn’t have done this. it was childish.” he holds your gaze, his eyes serious “you didn’t deserve that.” kisses the back of your hands, laying his head on your knees begging you for forgiveness.

mingyu is already full of shame before you even start crying. but when the sobs hit, he stops dead in his tracks. he rushes to you, kneeling down in front of you. his large hands cup your face, and his thumbs brush away your tears. “fuck, i never wanted to make you cry.” his voice cracks, and he pulls you into a bone-crushing hug, his head buried in your shoulder. looks like he’s about to break down himself.

seokmin gets on his knees beside you, eyes wide and watery, his usual smile completely gone. “my love i—” he says in this tiny voice, like he’s terrified he made everything worse. his hands flutter near your arm before he finally grips your sleeve like he needs you to believe him. “please don’t cry because of me.”

seungkwan’s been fidgeting the whole time, hating every second of the silence. thinking it couldn't get worse until you break in front of him “oh my god,” he blurts out, rushing over to you, his voice frantic. he pulls you into his arms, holding you as tight as he can. he lets out a shaky breath. “you’re everything to me. i’m sorry for making you feel like this.”

vernon is not sure how to fix it, thinking that in all ways, this sucked. the second you start crying, his chest tightens, and he’s at your side, pulling you into his lap. “i’m so so sorry. i didn’t mean to let it get this bad.” he wraps his arms around you, holding you close, trying to look into your eyes, pressing his lips into a line when you look away. “i’m here, okay? i’m here.” he presses a soft kiss to your cheek.

chan would be standing by the door, but the second you sob again, he’s crossing the room in three big steps, hands flinching to touch you and flinching back at him again as if he would burn you if he did. he would rather sit beside you still in silence, to find the best words since he hasn't talked during this whole time.

[animeyanderelover]

I already did this concept with Dazai in those Hc's so I will not add him in here again.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional behavior, clinginess, manipulation, blackmailing, bribing, paranoia, attempted murder in Nikolai's part, isolation, abduction, death of reader in their previous world

Tags: @shumidehiro @izanami78 @leveyani

Isekai'd into their world

Nakahara Cuuya

🟠Bullshit! That’s the initial reaction that Chuuya has when he finds out. There’s a limit to how much he is willing to believe even though throughout his life he has seen some things you’d have to witness with your own eyes to believe in them. It is true that there is nothing about your past he has been able to dig up as your life has seemingly started the moment you were discovered by an elderly couple on the streets. You’ve always claimed that you couldn’t remember anything before you where found and since there has been nothing the police was able to find out about your past, they gave up on the case as you were slowly assisted into society. Chuuya doesn’t believe your claims though that you suffer from amnesia. He might be hotheaded but he’s been working for the Port Mafia for years now, has even been made an Executive. The one skill you develop in this position is to get a fairly good read on the person in front of you, on their body language as well as on whether or not they speak the truth or not. So whilst he has no solid proof about whether you lie to him or not, there is this intuition that he has in his guts that there is something you are hiding.

🟠His overprotective and paranoid thoughts tend to spiral so his first assumption is that maybe there is someone after you and that you’re on the run. If that is the case you don’t have to worry. Chuuya can and will provide protection if someone is after your life. The longer you remain silent about your past, the more impatient he grows. Chuuya hasn’t always been honest to you either, especially regarding his position in the Port Mafia. But you needlessly fuel his anxiety as you don’t reveal anything, only feeding his paranoid thoughts as he wonders what you could hide that is so atrocious that you don’t even want your lover to know. Yet when you tell him the truth finally, sensing that he is close to snapping, he gets mad at you. Are you mocking him?! Don’t lie to him now! He doesn’t believe you. He doesn’t believe you until you see yourself forced to reveal everything you know about him. You know about Sheep, about Arahabaki, about the Port Mafia and about so much more. Only then does he believe you. The truth did not ease his worries though. No, instead Chuuya feels betrayed. Betrayed that you have known everything about him from the very beginning.

🟠He can’t hide. He can’t pretend anymore either. What’s the use? You know everything about him. With no facade to hide anything anymore Chuuya grows weirdly aggressive yet vulnerable. He doesn’t know how he should deal with this situation where he had no control over what he reveals about you and what not. It is fucking weird to know that in your world he doesn’t even exist and is instead a fictional character. What do you even think about him when he stands in front of you? Do you even see him as a real person? With really nothing to lose anymore Chuuya just abducts you then and there, unable to come up with another solution on how to handle this situation. Obviously he doesn’t tell anyone else about you though as he himself has to properly come to terms with the truth. As heavy as the feeling of betrayal sits though, there’s also desperation and paranoia. Desperation because he feels like he deserves to find out more about you as well since you already know far too much about him and paranoia now that he understands that you’ve died before in your world. You can’t be fine after all that happened, right? He’s going to help you.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

🍎Fyodor has always deemed you to be someone who stands out from the common crowd, for reasons he doesn’t understand either. Perhaps it is because your eyes perceive what others can’t see as he will never forget his first encounter with you. The glimpse of pure fear in your eyes as you gazed at him, seeing the demon disguised as a man. The way your body flinched away from his touch as he reached out to you, sensing the doom that would befall you the moment he’d feel your body. Only very few people have ever been able to realise him for the higher being that he is and it is the fact that a common sinner like you sees right through him upon first meeting him that makes you special. Fyodor tests his theory out only once by cornering you, giving you no chance to hide behind others as you are left alone with him. The sadist in him is relishing in the untarnished fear he sees in your eyes, purple orbs gazing at you as you slowly move away from him. He doesn’t follow you but he doesn’t have to. You poor thing now can’t run away from him anymore. You’ve dared to catch the devil’s interest and for that you will greatly suffer for Fyodor only knows how to take and destroy.

🍎It is when he figures out that you have no past that you only deepen his obsession. It’s intriguing. No past sins to judge you by, no trace of an existence stained in impurity before you appeared in this city. No matter how much research Fyodor does, he’s unable to figure you out. You’re a mystery to him, to a messenger of God. Oh, it is indeed a dangerous game you are playing. What could you be possibly hiding from him that is so forbidden that not even he can know? It’s like you’re trying to trigger him and it is this lack of control, the inability to cast divine judgment upon you as you are incomplete without a past to hold you accountable for that leads Fyodor to do something he normally never does. He rushes the process slightly, lures you faster into the spider’s web until you are trapped. The first thing he asks of you to confess is your past, the one thing he can’t find out about you. What are you? Are you a sinner or are you something more? No normal human should be able to deprive him of information he can always gather. The time for your confession has finally come, the day of your judgement has at last arrived. Now then you little mouse, confess.

🍎If only you would know how much you fuel his obsession the moment you are forced to reveal the truth to Fyodor. A sinner always pays with death to free them of their sins yet you have already died in your own world before you were brought to his own. You are free, or at least freer, of sins than anyone else on this planet. So before this world can ruin you once more he is going to isolate you, to shield you from the impurities of this world. After all it is the duty of an angel to bring salvation to those who are worthy. Now he also understands why you were so afraid the moment you saw him. What was the first time for him to ever meet you was after all only the first time for you officially meeting him as you had seen him multiple times before as nothing more than a fictional character in your own world. Maybe there is a scientific explanation of how it is possible for you to be transported into a world that was only fictional in your old reality but Fyodor pushes another agenda onto you. Have you ever considered it to be the will of a higher being? Have you ever considered it to be a second chance given to you? Don’t you worry too much. He will help you flourish in this world.

Jouno Saigiku

♦️​BadumBadumBadumBadum. The melody of your heart when Jouno finds you one day stranded in an alleyway is certainly a good indicator of the fear and the anxiety currently swirling around inside your mind. Be assured though, he is here to help the little wounded puppy he's found himself right now. You'll just have to tell him who you are and where you are from and he'll get you safely back. That is at least the plan, the only problem is that you refuse his help. Hmm, that is strange. You're acting a bit suspicious, you know? Your little heart is telling him that his appearance seems to have only increased whatever stress you've already felt before. Is there something you're trying to hide from him? Even though his eyes are not able to perceive you, you don't strike Jouno as someone who has done something wrong that would force him to take actions against you. Still, he interrogates you, at least until he has gotten his confirmation that you haven't done anything criminal nor plan to do so. Technically that should be enough yet your heartbeat still hasn't calmed down. He's the reason. You're afraid of him. A reaction that usually only the bad guys have when seeing him.

♦️​The Hunting Dogs are heroes even internationally, normally citizens like you rejoice when seeing him. There are still things he'd like to ask you but you actually seem to gather some courage, tell him shortly that he has no reason to keep you trapped any longer since he has gotten his comfirmation. He isn't exactly pleased with the tone you use but he lets you go, though he's still quite dissatisfied with what he has gotten. As if fate is smiling down upon him though he soon has the pleasure to meet you again. You're still as close-lipped as the first time he met you but since he has now figured out where you work he decides to make acquaintances with your co-workers who are far more talkative. He can sense you standing there in the corner, your heartbeat going crazy as they tell him that you've recently started working here and haven't told them much about your past either. So you really just keep it a secret from anyone. That only makes him more curious, you know? With his position it is relatively easy to gather intel on you though it is when he is served with little to nothing that he truly starts realising that you must carry quite the secret around.

♦️​That is the kickstart of his obsession as he wants to figure out what it is you are hiding. What is the dark secret you don't want anyone to know about? His only clue lies in you and so he torments you with his visits, constantly attempting to guess what it is you are hiding only to never figure it out. How could he have known that you died in your previous life only to be reincarnated into a world that was purely fictional in your old world? It is after the abduction that you are left with no choice but to spill out the truth and as much as he would like to ridicule you for such an otherwise blatant lie, your heart is not lying. You're actually speaking the truth. And Jouno doesn't know how to reply to that, just staring at you with a furrowed face as if considering what the best response or even best reaction is to the truth he has so desperately wanted to know for so long now. You think that you see a glimmer of unease appearing on his face before he suddenly bends down, his hands grasping your chin. Just how much do you know about him? Even though you are his beloved Saigiku has ever considered revealing too much to you yet perhaps you already know too much, leaving him strangely vulnerable.

Nikolai Gogol

🕊️​To Nikolai you have always been entertaining. He has the fondest memories of the both you meeting for the first time, a sentiment you most likely don't share with him. After all it was obvious from the very first encounter that all that you felt for him was dread even though his disguise should have been immaculate, able to fool anyone else. He hides his sinister and twisted character when he needs to do so yet you have seen right through him and it is this seemingly keen intuition of yours that has gotten him so invested in you. Nikolai has never meant for this interest of yours to stay nor to develop into a burning passion that threatens to rip him off the wings he so desperately hopes to obtain. The demon threatening to steal his soul is none other than you, his crooked feelings for you spinning and turning as Nikolai finds himself trapped between two clashing desires. One is to obtain his freedom by murdering you, another one is his desire to keep you and share his sad fate of isolation and oppression due to his own feelings with you. It is a constant inner fight and more than just once has he considered ending your puny life yet there is one factor that ultimately stops him.

🕊️​He plans to torment you, to ruin the life you have so carefully built for yourself and the freedom you have in it yet it is the little information he can gather that has him pausing. No family, no friends, no past. You are essentially like a ghost who appeared overnight. He has no past which he could use to chain you down, nothing personal he could hold against you and that knowledge that he can't properly oppress you unless he knows about it torments him and only infuriates him more as if you were indirectly mocking him. Fine, he'll cut the games short then. When you wake up the next time, it is in a little cage with a cheerful Nikolai asking you how you're doing and if you have slept well. That grin only widens and turns into somethin hideous when he sees your eyes overflowing with fear. Yes~ Let that fear corner you and tie you down. Share your suffering with his own. There is still something, you precious dove, that he really needs to know. Only then can he fully drag you down to the bottom of despair with him after all. You need to tell him a bit more about your past. Your family. Your friends. He needs them for his plans. Imagine his surprise when he sees the relief appearing on his face.

🕊️​That grin on his face disappears as he realises the truth, even if only for a short moment. It isn't the fact that you are from a different world, it isn't that you died in your previous world either that sobers him down for one or two seconds. It is the realisation that you will always be freer than he will be. There are no family, no friends, no pets he could use to play with and to break you with. There is no information he can obtain about you unless you tell him yet here you are, knowing already so much about him since he was a fictional character in your old world. Half of your wings he will never be able to clip off. For one frightening moment his hands suddenly wrap around your neck and start squeezing down with enough force to have you gasping and choking before all of a sudden he lets go, leaving you to cough for air. When he bends down he has put on that playful appearance once more, whispering to you that it's still too early for you to die. He must say, you managed to catch him off guard for a moment there but that's alright. If things are more difficult there are more entertaining after all. He will make sure to plug every single feather off of your wings until you're just as broken as him.

[traveler-at-heart]

The Doctor's In - Part 4

Summary: Wanda and R have their first date ;)

Wanda: Sorry I missed you before you left for work. Wanna come over for dinner with us?

Y/N: Would love to :)

“You’re awfully cheerful for someone who just got dumped” Darcy says as you smile at your phone.

“Who got what?”

“Carol and Maria…”

“No one dump me, there was no relationship to end” you say, locking your phone. You have noticed that Carol has been avoiding you, which is pretty idiotic, considering a lot of the trauma cases that come your way are ortho related.

That would also explain why Kamala rambled so much every time you requested a consult, so you made a note to speak to Carol about it.

“So…” Darcy ponders, and you wish she’d just drop it. She snaps her fingers. “The hot mom!”

“Her name is Wanda, and we are just talking” you refuse to look at her, knowing she can smell the bullshit from miles away.

“Something tells me talking wasn’t the only thing you did with your mouths” she insists, pulling on your sleeve.

“Fine! We kissed and it was awesome! Happy, you little pestering gnome?”

“Yes, lesbian whore. Congrats on securing a ticket to MILF paradise”

“Fuck you”

“Doctor Y/L/N” Kamala enters the room as you give Darcy the middle finger. “I can come back! Sorry!”

“Look what you’ve done” you mumble as Darcy cackles. The joy doesn’t last long, as you steal her chips. She’s too distracted making fun of you to notice.

“Hey, not fair”

You close the door and go after the resident.

“Hey, Kamala”

“Oh, hi. Doctor Danvers asked me to show you some X-Rays”

“Tell Doctor Danvers to show me herself. Or better yet, I will go directly to her. Where can I find her, Doctor Kahn?”

“Uh… I…”

“Never mind, I’ll ask Maria” you turn to leave  and Kamala screeches in horror.

“OR 2. She’s in OR 2. Please don’t do it, my Baba will never forgive me if I get kicked out of the program” the young doctor clings to your arm.

“Kamala. Get it together. It’s gonna be fine. If Carol gets mad, you can be in my service for a week” you promise and she barely stops hyperventilating.

By the time you reach the OR, Carol is done with her surgery. She stops in her tracks when your eyes meet.

“Doctor Danvers, a word?” you ask, trying to sound professional.

“Of course” she nods. Leading you to an empty scrub room, Carol opens the door for you, fidgeting. “What’s up?”

“Stop making everything so awkward. I’m not mad at you. Kamala is about to have a stress induced stroke from all the consults you send her to avoid me”

“You’re really not mad?” Carol says.

“No! I never expected anything else from you. We didn’t talk about it but I always knew what your true feelings were”

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t be, honestly. Just, stop acting like you left me at the altar or some weird shit. We’re colleagues and friends”

“That makes me happy. I didn’t want to stop talking to you” she relaxes. “Though I have to be honest, I told Maria what happened between us”

“Is she mad?”

“Only a bit and just to me. I’ll manage to turn it around” the blonde smiles, a dreamy look on her eyes.

“If it helps, tell her I have a date on Thursday” you say, leaving the room, Carol right behind you.

“Oh, let me guess. The hot mom?” she jokes.

“Her name is Wanda!” you repeat.

“Well, let me know how the date goes?” Carol pats your shoulder, and you nod.

“Will do. Now page your resident and tell her we’re all set before she gets admitted to the Psych ward”

—

The footsteps approaching on the other side make your heart jump. You wonder if the flowers are too much, but when Wanda sees them, her face lights up and you know it was the right thing to do.

“Come on in” Wanda says, taking the flowers and then standing on her toes to kiss your cheek. “The boys are in the living room”

“Want some help with the food?”

“No, I’m almost done. It will be more helpful if you entertain the twins for a little” she says, pulling the flowers close to her chest.

“Alright, then” you’re about to kiss her when the boys walk in. They’re so excited to see you that they don’t notice how close you are to their mother.

“Y/N” Billy says, running towards you.

“Hey, kiddos” you pick them up, carrying them over your shoulder and they giggle. “Come on, there’s a new game I wanna show you”

You take your time to set everything up, explaining a bit about the game. They giggle as Crash jumps and turns in the sand of the first level, and you finish it all, including the tricky jump at the end.

“Who wants to go next?”

“Me” Tommy says, sitting next to you. They are both focused on the game, so you take advantage of the distraction to go see Wanda.

Sliding into the kitchen, you grab her by the waist.

“You scared me” she laughs, allowing you to press against her back, kissing her temple. “What’s going on?”

“I have approximately fifty seconds before they ask for my help so I’m making sure they count” you turn her around and lean forward, capturing her lips and sighing against her mouth. “You look very pretty”

“Thank you”

“You smell really nice” you add, kissing her again, making Wanda laugh. “And I really, really, like kissing you”

Wanda smiles at that, her hand caressing your cheek.

“Y/N!” the boys chant in unison.

“Like clockwork” you mutter, kissing Wanda’s forehead as you go back to the living room.

You spend a few more minutes playing with the kids, until Wanda calls everyone for dinner.

“How’s the arm, kiddo?” you say, sitting next to Billy with Tommy and Wanda in front of you. As you take a bite of the chicken, you notice a funny flavor. “Is this brocc…”

Wanda widens her eyes and kicks you under the table.

“Ouch”

“You ok?” Tommy asks, none the wiser.

“Yeah, I just bit my tongue” you lie, Wanda taking a sip of her water to hide her laugh.

“Kids, eat” she encourages them, and you get the hint. The flavor of the broccoli is hidden with the cheese, so you smile and continue to eat, enjoying every single bite.

“I’m on cleaning duty” you say as soon as everyone finishes, taking the dishes and cleaning the table.

Billy and Tommy run to the living room to continue playing, and as you get ready to wash the dishes, Wanda leans forward and kisses your cheek.

“It’s nice to have you here”

“You have an odd way of showing it, Miss Maximoff” you joke, leaning against her touch.

“In my defense, it’s the only way to get them to eat their greens” she jokes and you lean forward, your lips inches away from hers. In that precise moment, the boys call for her.

“Behave” she warns the children, pulling away to see what the fuss is about.

“Have you thought about boarding schools?” you joke and she pinches your side. “Ah, kidding! I would miss them too much”

You load the dishwasher, clean the pots and put the rest of the food on some containers. By the time you’re done, the kids are getting ready to go to bed.

“Can you come over again tomorrow?”

“If your mom wants me to, sure. I can bring the food this time so she takes a break from cooking” you offer, smiling at Wanda.

“We’ll see about that, Y/N works hard enough as it is. Say goodbye to her, boys”

Tommy and Billy wave at you, already dragging their feet. You stay on the living room, and a few minutes later Wanda comes down.

“Hi” she plops down next to you and you smile.

“All good?”

“A bit tired, that’s all. Just ignore me, you’re the one that works all those crazy hours”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’m used to it by now” you shrug your shoulders.

“Would you like some wine?”

“Sure, I don’t have work tomorrow”

“How come?” Wanda asks when she returns, handing you a glass of red wine and sitting closer to you on the couch.

“Well, I have a really hot date coming up and I need to plan every detail”

“She sounds like a lucky girl” Wanda blushes, biting her lip.

“Oh, I’m the lucky one” you say, placing both of your glasses on the coffee table. “She’s smart, funny, has legs for days, cooks amazing food…”

“Stop” she laughs, and you shake your head no. Wanda is still laughing when you connect your lips with hers, a sigh leaving her mouth when you lift her and place her on your lap, her legs straddling you.

“Is this ok?”

“Yeah” she nods, leaning her forehead against yours. “More than ok. As a matter of fact, I remember reading that kissing is good for your health”

“It’s so good” you say, your lips traveling to her jaw, behind her ear, down her neck. “I’d say do it as often as possible”

“Doctor’s orders?” Wanda jokes, her voice faltering as you come back to her mouth, your tongue swiping across her bottom lip.

“Doctor’s orders”

—

The plan is coming along. You have the tickets for the exhibit and the next thing on the list should be the dinner reservation. Your pager beeps the minute you call the restaurant. 

911.

“Shit” 

You sprint to the car, knowing no one would call you outside of work if it wasn’t serious. 

“What’s wrong?” you walk to the ER, looking around.

“What on Earth is this?” Tony Stark, neurosurgeon and professional asshole gets in your face the minute you get there.

“I don’t know, I’ve been off work since yesterday, Stark” you take the chart, reading all the information until you get to the signature. The writing got progressively worse, until it was just senseless lines.

“This person was clearly having a stroke, and the staff didn’t notice. I have to scrub in and see if I can save his life”

“And you’re wasting time arguing with me” you roll your eyes, pushing the chart to his chest and walking to the OR.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“To scrub in. If you want to blame me, that’s fine. I’m staying by this patient’s side until he pulls through”

“If he pulls through” Stark says angrily and you ignore him. 

Before scrubbing in, you check your phone.

Wanda: Is everything ok? I saw you leaving in a hurry. 

“By all means, take your time” Stark says, glaring as he walks by you.

You spend the entire surgery in his OR, standing still and doing everything he asks. He’s a rude, pretentious cunt, but if anyone can work a miracle, it’s him, so you suck it up and take every snide comment with a blank stare.

After hours working, Tony sighs, nodding at his work. 

“Close him, Parker,” he asks his resident. You stand watching the young man’s work, until the surgeon asks you to come with him.

“I’m sorry” he blurts out the minute you step out. “This wasn’t your patient, nor your responsibility. And I made it seem like it was”

“It’s still not right. If I had been here, I would have noticed”

“I know. Your work is impeccable” he acknowledges and you nod. Even if he’s an ass, this is the hospital his father built, and he’s a genius with years ahead of you in experience.

“Will he be alright?”

“There’s a good chance he’ll pull through. Let’s be cautiously optimistic. I’ll let Parker explain everything to the family. Sorry for interrupting your days off”

“Not a problem” 

“It’s the first time you’ve taken PTO in 3 years. Fury’s gonna have my head for making you come” Tony says, laughing.

The patient is moved to the ICU, but you’re still not comfortable leaving, so you go back to the on-call room, sitting in a bed to gather your thoughts. Yelling in the hallway makes you stand up, watching as Parker tries to speak to a man and his wife. 

“You discharged him, said he was fine” the man yells, pointing at Peter’s face. 

“Sir, I can assure you, we’re doing our best to make sure your son…”

“We wanna see him now” the man takes Peter by his coat, almost lifting him off the ground. The young man stutters, not knowing how to deescalate the situation.

“Hey, that’s enough” you step in, not realizing the man is about to throw a punch until you make him drop Peter, his elbow connecting with your cheek.

“Crap, Doctor Y/L/N, are you ok?” Peter says, rushing to your side.

“Yeah, fine”

Fucking fantastic. 

“Sir, I’m going to ask you to wait in the foyer, or I’ll call security” Carol steps in, glaring at the man. She waits until he’s gone, muttering an apology your way. “You ok?”

“Mhm, great”

“I thought you had a few days off”

“Yeah, me too”

“Come on, let’s have a look at that punch” Carol says, dragging you to one of the exam rooms. You sigh, trying to keep your eye closed. “No stitches needed”

“Great” you mumble, pulling out your phone. There’s like five messages from Wanda but before you can answer, she calls you.

“Hey”

“Hey, are you ok? You had me worried”

“Yeah, there was a thing at the hospital and I… ouch! Carol, a little warning?” you hiss as the blonde pours some disinfectant on the bruised skin.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were busy” Wanda says, her demeanor changing. “I’m sorry, I’ll leave you alone”

“Wait, Wanda!” you say but it’s too late, the call cut off. “God, could this day get any worse? I have to go”

“Want me to drive you there?” Carol says with a smile and you roll your eyes.

“Yeah. That will make Wanda so happy”

“Whipped” Carol jokes and you try to glare, but it hurts your eye.

Wanda barely put the kids to bed, when she hears a knock on the door. She’s prepared to give you an attitude but then sees your swollen cheek.

“Oh, my God, what happened to you, are you ok?” the brunette says, immediately forgetting she’s mad at you.

“It’s a long story. But that doesn’t matter. Listen, I know how it seems, I tell you I’m busy and when you call me I’m with Carol”

“I know you work together. It’s fine” Wanda lies.

“No, it’s not, come on”

“Ok, just come in and explain everything while I get you some ice, ok?”

“Thanks” you mutter, sitting at the kitchen counter. You fidget with your hands, not looking up until Wanda comes closer, her eyes soft as she moves the hair out of your face.

“Cold” she warns, placing a compress against your skin. You sigh with relief, holding her hand close.

“I’m sorry. I was called in to fix something I didn’t break”

“Don’t apologize for doing your job, Y/N” she says in a soft voice. “Is everyone ok? Is that how you got hurt?”

“Everyone’s ok. The parents were just pissed and I tried to break the fight”

“Does it hurt?” Wanda pulls the compress and examines the skin. It’s a little bruised, but not too swollen.

“It will later” you sigh.

“Anything I can do to help?”

“You can kiss it better”

“Is that what Carol was doing earlier?” Wanda tilts her head, a dangerous look in her eyes that sends shivers down your spine.

“Oh, come on! Not fair!”

“I’m kidding” she says, finally kissing you softly. You close your eyes, relaxing for the first time in 12 hours. “I’m sorry for giving you a hard time, you were saving lives”

“What you feel is valid. Don’t apologize for it, ok? I’ll always listen to you, I promise” you kiss her hand, smiling when she blushes. “We’re still up for our date, right?”

“We can reschedule, you must be exhausted”

“Not a chance” you say, pulling her closer again. “I’ve been waiting too long for this”

“Well, alright. If you insist” she pecks your lips and you nod.

“I do”

“I have an… odd request” she says, avoiding your eyes.

“I won’t kink shame you, I promise”

“Can you be serious for just a second?” Wanda laughs, taking your hand. You make a motion to keep quiet, and let her speak. “Can you… pick me up around the block?”

“I can. But why am I doing it?”

“First of all, if the kids see you, they’ll want to tag along. And also… I’m not trying to be pessimistic here, I just want to protect them. It’s been the three of us since they were born and I’ve never even dated anyone, let alone someone they know” she takes a deep breath, hoping you won’t get upset.

“Billy and Tommy come first, always” you nod. “I agree to the new rule, or I can wear glasses and a fake mustache”

“Nope” she shakes her head, covering your mouth with her hand.

“A bald cap then” you mumble against her palm.

She figures the only way to make it stop is by kissing you and she leans forward, her lips against yours. You smile dreamily as she pulls apart.

“Now. Would you like some dinner?” Wanda offers, and you almost drop to your knees.

“God, you’re so fucking perfect, Wanda Maximoff”

The way she blushes and giggles makes up for all the shitty things that happened in the past hours.

—

“There’s food and snacks, a list of phone numbers on the fridge in case of an emergency”

“Yes, Mrs. Maximoff,” Morgan says, following the woman around the house. It’s her first time babysitting the twins, but Wanda has known the girl since she started giving her private art lessons and trusts her.

“Boys, I’m leaving” Wanda calls, the kids standing up from the table to hug their mom goodbye. “Be good to Morgan, ok?”

“Where are you going?” Tommy asks.

“A work thing” she lies, feeling terrible about hiding the truth from the twins. But still, she knows it’s for the best to keep this private.

She waves goodbye one last time and walks past the house, noticing your car is no longer in the driveway. Her heart beats fast at the expectation of an evening together.

“Hey, gorgeous” you greet, leaning against the passenger door. “You look absolutely stunning”

You admire how amazing she looks in a pair of jeans, a white tee and a long sleeve sweater.

“So do you” she kisses you, smiling as you open the door to the car.

“Thanks, the purple eye gives my look a nice touch” you say as you begin the drive.

“Are you gonna tell me where we are going?”

“You’ll find out soon enough” you say, hoping she likes the surprise. “First stop” you announce, opening the car door for Wanda and looking at the building in front of you. 

“Artechouse. Oh, I’ve heard about this” Wanda nods, intrigued.

“I did too, but never made the time to go. Come on” you lead her to the entrance, showing your tickets. “There’s a small bar if you wanna have a drink before we go in” 

“Let’s go in now” she says, looking everywhere. 

You think it’s a good sign that she’s so interested in the exhibit, so you lead her to the start, both of you gasping as you enter a room that is projecting videos of flowers from floor to ceiling. Wanda’s hand searches yours in the dark, and you smile shyly as she holds it, walking around the room.

The intimacy of the place allows you to come closer, sharing everything you see in a low voice and enjoying the show. 

“Check this out” you say, lifting your arm, the animation following your movements. Wanda lets out a laugh, doing the same.

Each room enchants Wanda even more, the next installation featuring plants that react to the touch with light and sound. Your favorite by far is the tree that reacts differently if you’re holding hands or hugging. As you walk up to it, Wanda is still holding your hand and you both look at the screen. Well, she’s looking at the projection and you’re looking at her, thinking how beautiful she is. 

Taking a step forward, your arms go around her waist and you smile, admiring how the images change.

“It’s beautiful” Wanda whispers, turning to you. “You’re not looking” 

“I have the best view right in front of me” you smile, happy when she kisses you softly.

Wanda takes her time examining everything and once she’s done, you walk to the exit. 

“That was amazing. I forgot how much I enjoy these things. Thank you, Y/N”

“Glad you liked it” 

“Best first date I’ve had,” she smiles.

“Oh, this is only the first part. You don’t really think I’d forget about the food, right?” 

“Where are we going?”

“Well, there’s a very fancy option but I don’t feel like going with this thing on my face” you point at the bruise, annoyed. “If you’re feeling adventurous we could try something different?” 

“You look perfectly fine, darling” she kisses your cheek. “But I’m up for an adventure, so lead the way” 

“Awesome” you hold her hand, walking down the street and away from the museum. This is your favorite part of town, close to the pier and the little shops that are open until late. 

You walk down the promenade, showing Wanda some of the places you love. There’s a small gallery, a cafe, and other shops. 

“We’re here” you announce, pointing excitedly at the kebab shop. “This is fine, right? We can still go to the fancy place if you like”

“Sorry this place isn’t fancy enough for you, Majesty” the owner pops out of nowhere, scaring you.

“Samir! That’s not what I meant. You know I love your food”

“Mhm” he glares, but then smiles at Wanda. “What can I get for you, angel?”

“Well, what’s good here?” Wanda wonders, not as familiar with the dishes. “Maybe a shawarma” 

“How about a kebab box, fries to share and a doner” you suggest, “And her shawarma, of course” 

“That’s a lot of food” she protests and you shrug your shoulders.

“I’m always eating leftovers before I leave for work so it’s fine, babe” 

“Oh, well” she wants to scold you about your eating habits, but the pet name makes her dizzy. 

You pay and lead them to a small table outside, unaware of Wanda’s flustered state. You hand over a soda and open your can, taking a sip.

“We can go to other art shows whenever you want, you know? Even if I don’t understand anything, I do enjoy watching you” you smile, laughing as Wanda’s cheeks go red at the comment.

“I did enjoy it, thank you. You come here often?”

“I do, I love the food here. Samir noticed I came late because of my shifts and he always saved me some food. Nice fella” you turn to make sure he’s not listening. “But I promise I’ll take you to dinner to that other place when I don’t look like a raccoon”

“You don’t have to” 

“I kinda want to see you in a dress, all fancy like that time you left for another date” you smile at the memory of how beautiful she looked.

Wanda’s heart bursts with the way you look at her, complete adoration in your eyes. She’s almost left speechless, but her phone saves her. 

“It’s my brother” she apologizes, taking the call. “Hi, Pietro. No, I’m not with them. Because, I’m out. Of course with a babysitter, stupid” she rolls her eyes, and then switches to a language that you don’t understand, but sounds like Russian. You look at her in awe, until Samir calls for you to get the food. By the time you’re back at the table, Wanda already hung up.

“Sorry about that” 

“No, don’t worry. I guess I never asked, but are you Russian?”

“Sokovian” she corrects. “We moved to the States when Pietro and I were ten” 

“Wow. I never… you don’t even have an accent” 

“It slips up from time to time, especially if I’m angry or… flustered” Wanda says, and you almost choke on the food, thinking of all the ways you could make it come out. 

“Oh, well” you clear your throat. “Is your brother ok?”

“Yeah, he wanted to ask the boys something about video games that I don’t understand. I’m sure you would” 

“I don’t know, my knowledge is limited to things that existed when I was a kid. How’s the food?”

“Amazing. Wow” Wanda says, pleased with the flavor of the meat and how it compliments the rice and dips.

“See? We’re good enough for a first date” Samir shouts from the kitchen.

“Stop listening to our conversation” you shout back and he grumbles. Wanda smiles, thinking of something she’s wanted to ask for a while now.

“Do you ever visit your family?” 

“No, not really” you shake your head. “I pretty much left for college and never returned. Except this one Christmas, where I was feeling kind of lonely and tired. I just wanted to be home, but everything was so different, my half siblings were just too much to handle for anyone… and I didn’t even know what to do, no one bought me a present because I was never around and they just thought I’d be gone like last year”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked…”

“It’s fine” you shrug your shoulders. “I know it’s weird, but I like my life, you know? My colleagues are great, I’m doing what I love… and if I hadn’t moved here, I wouldn’t have met you”

“Yeah, that’s true. It’s their loss” Wanda smiles, kissing you. You smile against her lips. “You can always spend the holidays with us, you know? I mean, it’s too soon to talk about it, I’m just saying”

“That would be nice” you interrupt her rambling. “Now, I have something very important to ask. Out of all the neighbors, which one is the most annoying and why?”

“Well, I’d say it’s… Agatha”

“Harkness! Yes! I knew you disliked her too” 

Wanda laughs and you keep the conversation going. By the time you’re done, you pay and leave a big tip for Samir, who gives you a hug as you leave the store.

“I’m so full” Wanda says, patting her stomach. 

“I know. Oh, you want ice cream?” you say, remembering the gelato store that is a few shops ahead. 

“You just said you were full!”

“It’s ice cream, come on” you take her hand, and pay for two cones. Wanda orders strawberry while you opt for chocolate.

“How is it?” you ask as you walk down the pier, enjoying the view. 

“Amazing, have some” she offers the cone, but you kiss her instead. “That’s not what I meant” Wanda laughs against your lips.

“Well, it tastes amazing to me” you say, leaning forward and chasing after her soft lips, the flavor lingering as you deepen the kiss. Wanda sighs against your mouth, pulling you closer until your hand goes down her waist. “Best ice cream I’ve ever had” 

“Yeah” Wanda nods, her eyes closed. You peck her lips one last time, and continue your walk, still talking about everything you can think of, enjoying each other’s company.

When she checks the time more than once you get the hint, ready to go home.

“I’m sorry, I’m just being annoying, we can stay longer” 

“It’s ok, I know you like to be home early. Come on, we can drink wine or I’ll let you go to bed”

You rest your hand on Wanda’s leg for the entire ride home, unaware that your touch is making the woman restless. When you’re close to your house, you stop exactly where you picked Wanda up.

“I can just park at home, right? The boys are probably asleep”

“Yeah” Wanda nods, flustered. You’re about to ask what’s wrong when she moves forward, pulling you down for a rough kiss that takes your breath away. It’s a bit messy and desperate, and you ignore the strain of your seatbelt as Wanda pulls you closer to her, sighing against your mouth.

“You can’t park here!” an annoying person knocks on your window and you both break apart. “Oh, my! Wanda? Doctor Y/L/N?”

Damn it, it’s Agatha Harkness. Your nosy, annoying neighbor. Rolling down the window and smoothing your clothes, you smile at her.

“Hey, Miss Harkness. Sorry, I’ll move right now” 

“No, don’t worry” she gives you a sly smile. “Have a good night, you two love birds”

“Night, Agatha” Wanda says and you turn on the car, finally parking in your driveway.

“That was fun” you comment, opening the door for Wanda and crossing the street to walk her home.

“Yeah, just our luck” Wanda laughs, taking your hand. “Wanna come in? Or do you have to work tomorrow?”

“Not until Saturday. Come on” you let her lead you to her house, opening the door as quietly as possible. Wanda sees Morgan at the kitchen table, doing her homework.

“How did everything go?”

“Great, they went to sleep an hour ago” 

“Morgan Stark?” you greet, closing the door behind you. 

“You two know each other?” Wanda says.

“Yeah, my parents work at the hospital with Doctor Y/L/N” Morgan says, waving at you. “Nice to see you” 

“Did you drive here? Or want me to take you home?” 

“It’s fine, I drove here” she says, and you hand over some money before Wanda can pay her. 

“Drive safely, ok? Don’t want your dad giving me crap on the next meeting”

“Will do. Good night, Miss Maximoff”

“Night, Morgan”

“You didn’t have to pay for that too” Wanda says, kissing you. “But thank you” 

“Anytime. How do you know Morgan?” you nod when she offers you a glass of wine and you walk to the living room with her.

“I’m giving her private art lessons. She’s really good. Had no idea her parents were doctors”

“Not just any doctors, baby” you say, taking a sip. “Tony’s father built the hospital we work in. And he’s done some amazing research in neurosurgery. Pepper is also one of the best plastic surgeons in the world” 

“Wow, Morgan is so sweet and down to Earth”

“She gets that from her mom, Tony can be an ass” you mutter and Wanda laughs. “So, did I secure a second date?”

“A third one as well. But only if I can pay for the next one”

“Nu-uh. I’m spoiling you, baby” you say, your hand going to her leg. You notice how Wanda’s cheeks turn red, and you’re not sure if it’s the nickname or the contact. “Come here”

You take her glass of wine, approaching her slowly and kissing her. It’s tender at first, but then your hands travel to her lower back, and Wanda moans against your mouth. You deepen the kiss, sighing when she pushes you on your back, climbing on top of you.

Wanda kisses down your neck, biting slightly. The sudden nip makes your hips jolt forward, and she has to hold back another moan.

“I don’t know how you do it” she says, shivering when your hands travel down and cup her ass through her jeans.

“Do what, baby?”

“Drive me crazy with just one touch”

“Let me take care of you” you ask, kissing her, your hands going all the way to the front of her pants.

“Mom?”

“Shit” she mutters, both of her hands covering your mouth. “What is it, sweetheart?”

“I’m thirsty,” Tommy says.

“Alright, don’t come down, I’ll be right there, ok?” she says, hoping the boy hasn’t noticed anything strange. But he’s too sleepy so he just agrees and returns to his room. “I’m sorry”

She removes her hands from your mouth, helping you up.

“It’s fine, I enjoy the choking but just give me a heads up”

“Stop” she says, blushing. “I’ll be right back. Unless, you want to go? I’m sorry”

“I can stay” you nod, smiling at her disheveled state.

“Alright, I’ll be back” Wanda promises, pecking your lips.

You sit up, fixing your hair and taking a sip of the wine to calm down.

“Everything ok?” you say as Wanda comes down. She nods, smiling and sitting next to you.

“Yeah, I just didn’t think they’d be up. Maybe… we could wait a bit? When I’m not worried about the boys walking in on anything”

“Of course. Come here” you open your arms, and she settles, leaning her head against your shoulder. You kiss her temple. “Wanna watch some tv?”

“What about a sitcom? I love watching those”

“Like Friends?”

“Like Bewitched or… The Dick Van Dyke show” she says and you laugh, completely caught off guard by the suggestion.

“You’re fascinating, Wanda Maximoff” you say, handing over the remote, ready to watch whatever she wants.

[luveline]

hi jade! i was wondering if you could do a zombie!au fic where r helps steve when he wakes up from a nightmare?

For a split second, Steve doesn’t know that you’re you, and he shoves you away hard. He scrambles away from you in the dark, kicking at your leg, your light sleep torn open as he shouts an unintelligible word and tumbles against the zipped tent door. 

“Steve, it’s me,” you say, voice scared and croaky with sleep. “It’s just me, it’s just me. Just us.” 

His breath is ragged. Your leg aches from the brunt of his entire body weight, your arm stings similarly. You can barely see him in the dark, his mouth a black hole, his eyes a strange shade of their usual brown as he sucks in harsh breath. You sit up with a groan. 

“Just me,” you say again, softer, “nobody else.” 

“Did I hurt you?” he asks. 

“It’s okay.” 

He swallows a lump. “Did I?”

“No. It’s alright. Come back over here, you didn't hurt me.” 

He looks at you like you’re an alien, but he shuffles back across the tent to sit by you again on the packed out mattress and your few sheets. When he’s close enough, you take the zipper on his hoodie and pull it down, away from his neck and open, before pushing the garment from his shoulders to bring out his arms. The rightmost has a bad scar from a worse infection running down the forearm, but besides that, he has a smooth expanse of skin for touching. You want to touch him. 

“I kicked you,” he says, “I’m sorry.” 

You hold him by the elbow, turned to him with your chin up. You want to get a good look at him. His bottom lip trembles. “Bad dream?” you ask gently. 

He presses his lips into a tight line. 

“I know they scare you, but it’s really okay, Steve, you’re okay.” Your voice has turned to butter, a silky whisper as you bring your hand to his cheek, and he crushes it between his face and his shoulder. “It’s okay.” 

“It’s okay,” he says finally, eyes squeezing shut. 

Fuck, baby, you think, pushing up onto your knees. “Gonna hug you,” you say, wrapping your arms around his head. 

He smells like that strange, subtle sweat that clings to his hair while he sleeps. No discernible odour, but the scent of perspiration. Maybe it’s just how he smells, or his pillow, his t-shirt? You bury your nose into his hair and attempt to rub the tension from between his shoulders.

“You smell nice,” you whisper, pressing a bunch of quick, loving kisses into his limp hair.  

“Did I hurt you a lot, when I–” He clears his throat. “I pushed you twice. I’m sorry.” 

“Baby, don’t be sorry, I don’t care.” 

“I didn’t mean to, I just thought it was you. They were– it was ripping my face off.” 

“That’s not gonna happen. Nothing’s gonna hurt you.” You close your eyes, let your face rest almost entirely in his hair. “I'm not gonna let that happen to you, I promise.” 

His breathing slows. His hands curl loosely in the front of your shirt. 

“Do you wanna lay back down? It’s still night, I think. It’s so cold.” 

Steve pulls away from you to look over your face. Without comment, he grabs his hoodie from around his waist to drape over your shoulders, sliding across toward his pillow, a hesitancy in his movements. “I think I’ll stay awake. Just for a bit. I don’t want to have the same dream.” 

“I’ll stay awake with you.” 

“No, you should sleep. It’ll make me feel better if I can…” 

He wants to watch you sleep. You wrap his hoodie around you tightly and slip back down onto your back on the portable mattress, your face to his thigh. You clasp his ankle in your hand. 

“You don’t wanna talk about it?” you ask. 

Steve encourages your face onto his thigh properly. Your neck aches, but you’ve no inclination to tell him as his hand cups your neck. “No. It was stupid. I woke you up. Scared you.” 

“No way. You don’t scare me.” 

He exhales. His thumb strokes your chin. “At least I get to wake up to you. From a nightmare to a straight up dream.” 

You hold his eyes. “Oooh, smooth.” 

He bends down to touch your nose to his. “I really don’t hurt you?” he asks again, whispering. 

“No, I promise.” 

You draw lazy half circles into his ankle and pretend to feel more tired than you do. Steve stays there for a while, bent over you without a sound. His hands are shaking. When sleep begins to weigh you down again, he noses a kiss behind your ear and sits up. You wonder what he’s thinking, listening to his breath. He doesn’t wake you again that night.

[shuenkio]

That basketball player | Lhs.

Paring: Heeseung X M!reader | Genre: SMUT

Synopsis: Since when did heeseung get that big glow up? Back in the junior year he was just a guy with his bang covering his forehead but now? You can't help but to stare at him every time he is playing basketball, jingling.

Cw: masturbate in the bathroom, bigger cock Heeseung, drunk, public explicit scenes, cursing, no plot Ig, alone time, mentioned of cum, stained etc. [18+] mdni

Non proof read | Eng is not my 1st.

This is a work of fanfiction, do not throw unnecessary tantrums on this nsfw/sfw blog. ©Shuenkio

A#N: Yo what! I feel pity to leave y'all alone with my no update so here a smut hardcore, before I vanish once again. (Yes this is me, a bit freaky than usual ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

Being friends with a sports guy like Heeseung is not an easy job, nor is it for your mental, freaky mind. Every time you were there, watching him practice for the competition. You can't find but to stare at a little distracted place, like a weirdo. However, it's not one fault side; since Heeseung does have his own package ever since then, it'd be a jingle bell at every instance.

Not to mention, back in the junior year, Heeseung is just a guy who just hit puberty, freshly adult, bang cover all his forehead like a nerd. In the meantime, all that matters transformed into this: a hot guy with a huge beard that could squeeze a lemon, a slender yet masculine frame from head to toes, and the most glow-up part was probably his middle part.

Which you can't help but to wonder while nosebleed; imagine how'd it look like to be sight. And so on, wondering turns into reality when it's happening during the party of one of your classmates. Walking in the bathroom, as you thought nobody was there with no light on, until when the lights flickered, you were stunned, your hearts just doing a back flip once you saw the tipsy Heeseung who's jerking off on the toilet.

Omfg, is this for real? Think to yourself. Can't hide the red blush that was painted on your face, you immediately apologize and leave; however, before you could, a large hand appeared and pinged you against the door, allowing you to escape this awkward situation.

"Hmm... M/n? What a surprise to see you here during my alone time," said the half-drunk guy, looking down to see his cock peeking through his zipper, naked. In front of you, but did he care? No. You swallow down, feel like a stone stuck in your breath—this is just a dream wake-up.

Your reaction was funny enough to make Heeseung chuckle out; you seem to be nervous, shy, and lately a bit of a turn-on.

"We're alone, aren't we? Now don't hide your true colors, bud; I know you've always wanted this, isn't that right?" Heeseung claim, pointed out right through you. No way he caught you in act, but where? Yet there's no use right now to wonder about it; a big gigantic cock is staring at you right now; he was so hard his cum is leaking out, desperate for some way out of those balls.

Out of surprise, you snapped as Heeseung let out a moan, in contact with his skin too close to yours. Cover your face with your palm to evade your crazy mess face; his pre-cum began to stain on your pants!

"Fuck m/n, take a hold of it. Before I change my mind, I'm not sober," panicking Sprint free in your vein as you shudder to his words, Should you or shouldn't? This once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is so rare, you wouldn't want to go to waste.

Seeing you froze in the spot, back pressed against the door too much, Heeseung snatched one of your hands and wrapped them around his shaft. Lord, have mercy.

"Ahh, so good, m/n, euuu, that's right," biting his lip, his back arching forward, thrusting inside of your palm in rhythm. Both of his hands are pinning you in between, while he endures in pleasure. No word to say; you seem to enjoy what you're doing. His foreskin moved up and down, his tip peeking in every stroke.

Heeseung's freaky side was not what you expected; he was far more wild. Your surroundings are no longer your priority; you didn't care if anyone might hear. Continue to please the man of your dreams; no, this is a dream to be able to touch him, your friend.

A few more strokes, his hip bucking more and more needy, his balls later slipped out of his underwear, come out before slapping against the friction of his own pant. As a result, the fire in him turned on even better. Both of you can't think straight, locked in this bathroom, just the two, enjoying times together.

"Cum... I need to cum m/n!! I'm going to piss Ahh Ahh FUCK." He's knees weaken. The hands that are pinning you in find their way to belt around your waist, despairing for support, before a load of hot cum splashes out on both clothes. Heeseung is indeed sensitive; that might as well be one of his weaknesses for your dictionary.

He then falls down on the floor on his knees finally, as he leans against the wall nearby in this tight space. Draining out and overwhelmed by the masturbation. Little did you know, there's also a stain in your pants too, not only from Heeseung's cum stained. Ugh, he got you in anyway possible.

"Shit..." A couple of minutes passed, his brows furrowing while his eyes shut, before he pissed out for real.

"I—damn it." 

[ddostoyevskyy]

rainy szn, gn!reader, reader has a cold body temperature, timeskip!Katsuki, nsfw.

“You okay?” You heard him whisper on the skin of your neck, nuzzling his nose through your jaw as he heaves a sigh deep from his chest — like he’s been holding his breath back. It’s been a few moments after he shifted you awake with feathered kisses while the warmth of his large hands roamed around your body. The sluggishness from being unconscious makes your eyes heavy-lidded. But that doesn’t stop you from staring at him on top of you as he indulged himself with your warmth, pushing his cock deep and basking into the heat of the moment, while the weather opposes.

You hear the pitter-patters from the outside as you realized; it’s raining. The warm feeling of being naked in the sheets makes you almost not realize the sudden weather change. And it doesn’t help the fact that despite the feeling of being full of Katsuki and the oh, so warm palms roaming through your chest, hips and the small of your back — your body temperature dropped cold.

And it doesn’t help the fact that everytime it rains, Katsuki’s heart aches and your body cannot physically stay warm throughout this weather.

Katsuki could hear his heart echoes through his ears, reminding him that he’s alive, yet at the same time, it stings, it aches, it hurts, like he’s being stabbed. He felt awful waking you up like this, although he can’t help but to stare at your form; all disheveled and panting while the sweat from his palms glistened through your body. He subconsciously licks his lips as you reach out for him, your palm aiming on his chest where an explosion-shaped scar located and his breath hitches, a shiver run on his spine when the cold travels through his skin.

His cock twitches inside you, a breathy moan escapes his lips and you watch with awe. The ache between your legs seems to respond, could feel your insides throbbing with sensation when he spread your thighs so he could lean down closer to you.

“Mhm, fine. ‘S fine, Katsuki...” You mumbled, tracing his jaw with your fingertips. Katsuki’s sensitive when it rains, and much more sensitive with the cold temperature of yours. It felt surreal the first actualization. It dawned you. And you were hesitant to touch him ever since. And he knew.

His hips moves, a bit sensual and forceful every push, hitting that spot sporadically as though he knew your body well like the back of his hand. His mouth were on yours, near your ear seconds later when he focuses on fucking you with precision. His arm hooked around your hips, the other holding yours close where the scar on his chest are. His pace were getting intense as he grits and hiss through his teeth.

“Kats —!”

“Fuck, damn fucking — baby, I can’t hear you over the rain. C'mon, you should be louder than that, yeah?”

A choked sob strangles over your throat, the tears in your eyes making your head dizzy with pleasure. He can’t stop, not when the sound of the rain were subsiding on his ears and he can only hear you — you, you and you. This is what he needs when it rains; your warmth, this kind of sex where he could only hear you and never minds the rain while your cold fingers graze over the scar on his chest, or the expanse of his shoulder blades, or down on his back as you pin your nails, breaking the skin and marking his neck with your mouth.

“Yeah, yeah — just like that... Feels good? You with me?”

“Yes — ! Ah! D-Does it still hurts? This makes it feel better?”

Katsuki’s hips didn’t falters, yet his flushed face softened more with the question. His heart rhythmically throttles over his chest. It still aches, but it is tender, your hands cold yet it feels just right and he wondered if he just loves you so much his heart aches. The volume of your voice increases when he lost control, fully pounding into you with vigor to chase that high he’d been wanting since the rain started a while ago. His grip tightens, lips scattering marks all over your neck and chest and when you come down, he followed soon enough, filling you full but never leaving you empty.

“It does,” He answers, muffled as he buried his face in your neck. You were still panting, shredded with an intense afterglow and your attention drags through the window.

“It already stopped raining, huh?” You mumbled, hands playing with his hair that tickles through your skin and he hummed.

“You still feels cold.”

You blame the rain for that.

“As long as it doesn‘t hurt anymore, I’ll be alright, Katsuki.”

I love the rain. You wanted to say out loud, but you knew Katsuki will throw a fit if you do — because he hates it. He hates the rain as much as he loves the cold radiates through your body. He hates the rain because he can’t hear your voice within the patters of droplets of water through the roof as much as he loves making love with you when it rains.

You love the rain because as much as it hurts him, you can hear his thoughts echoes when the rain stopped and silence follows through.

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄... It's rainy szn here in my country and I badly want this, like rn:( gimme Katsuki, pls

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

All Rights Reserved 2024 © ddostoyevskyy. Do not repost without permission or plagiarized.

[godmadeaterribleerror]

Chapter 18 - Something In The Static

Series Masterlist

Author's Note: I’d like to dedicate this chapter to my friend who I finally got to watch the Boys and we’re talking about Soldier Boy and I have to pretend I’m not doing this and be very normal about the conversation.

Also for everyone who's gonna say “why is Ezekiel alive”, Butcher never went all tentacle tumor on us, and therefore Ezekiel is still very much alive. “Well how did Butcher survive their encounter” idk maybe he kissed Ezekiel and then just ran away.

Chapter Title from Not Strong Enough by boygenius

Word Count: 25.7k......

Chapter Summary/Warnings: The Believe Expo is underway, and everyone is dealing with a lot of emotions. Usual warnings, time two. We're looking at angst and smut and (minimal) fluff. Just a hodgepodge of everything.

Read on A03!

Chapter 17 - Chapter 19

Coconut might be the worst smell in the world. Not real coconut, but this fake, chemical coconut that was everywhere in Homelander’s apartment. Everywhere on Homelander. Too sweet and impossible to not think about. It burns your nose, and you’re starting to wonder if it’s some kind of poison cologne. Something designed to make him even harder to stand against, because you always have to use a hand to block the smell from your nose. You’d never smelled it in the white room, but Homelander always went through an airlock before he visited you. This is just him, all the time, and you’re choking on it. 

He still hadn’t touched you. And they hadn’t locked you back down. You think that, between Noir’s sudden and heroic death very vaguely “defending our country” and the the CIA releasing a statement that you’re being held against your will by Vought—you’re surprised Mallory didn’t take the disavowing you entirely path, but here you are—Sage is too busy putting out fires to convince Homelander that you didn’t break that easy. That, after Noir II, you’d gotten back up. Revised your role, changing how you played it, and kept moving. You would not break, not like this, not where Homelander could see it. He didn’t fucking deserve to see you break, really break. He could think he’d gotten you to understand, but you would never allow him to see what you breaking really looked like.

You would break—really break, with screams and sobs and nails in your skin and not getting back up—when you got home. When you could cry into Ben’s chest, and he could keep your nails on his arm instead of your own. He’d pick you up. He’d pick you up in strong, safe arms and carry you to bed, holding you as long you asked him to. Everything would smell like pine and Ben, and you’d be able to break without the freezing cold making you glue yourself together. You’d just break. 

But not now. Not yet.

Not when there was still work to do.

A-Train had found you a few days after Noir II, after the CIA had responded to your speech. An official statement from the director, co-signed by president Robert Singer, stating that Soldier Boy was indeed a CIA operative, that Vought had no jurisdiction to declare him a public enemy, and that the Anomaly was currently being tortured by Vought to comply with their agenda. They didn’t say the whole truth, because according to them you and Ben were co-workers—nothing more—and Homelander had been obsessed with you since you were both young supes but you’d turned him down numerous times. You wish they had just committed to it. Just told the world what Homelander was, what he’d done to you, but the truth did somehow sound more absurd. And right now wasn’t about the truth, it was about doing what needed to be done. You had to trust that Mallory was smart. That she knew what she was doing. 

It would be really helpful if A-Train had a similar leniency. 

“What are they doing?” He’d skidded to a stop in front of you again, in another too-fancy bathroom at another boring event. 

You’d held up a single finger, taking a long, deep breath. You were curled up on the floor, under a hand-dryer that you kept pushing the button of to make the warm air blast onto your head. It was helpful, it made you feel a little more alive and was a lot more sustainable than constant vomiting. 

A-Train had just kept talking, pacing in front of you. “Sage is really not happy, there’s no fucking way I can risk talking to MM now. That was not smart, that shit you did on TV. You know why Sage isn’t here? The Deep went to a fucking Panera last night without telling anyone and Sage is pulling camera footage to make sure he’s telling the truth. And Noir is dead-“ 

“Can you please shut up?” You’d muttered, tapping against your calves. “I know what I did. I knew there would be consequences. I’m willing to live with them.” 

“Well, I’m not!” A-Train’s feet had stopped in front of you, and you’d reached up to hit the button again. Letting the hot air push on the top of your head, calming you as he continued. “This isn’t just about you, you’re not the only one who’s suffering-“ 

“I could say the same to you.” 

“Come on-“ 

“I’m serious,” you’d looked up at him with a scowl as the wind above you stopped once more. “This is good. Ben can help them now, Annie has more fuel against Vought, and Butcher and Mallory will know how to work this.” 

“Fine, but I’m not helping you at all if you keep this shit up,” A-Train had snapped your name. “I’ve got people, I can’t risk my nephews for this-“ 

“Okay.” 

He’d blinked at you. “Okay? That’s it?” 

“Yeah. Okay.” You’d shrugged. “I can’t make you help me. If you won’t, you won’t. I can handle this myself.” 

“You’re really not going to lecture me about being a hero, or doing the right thing?” 

You’d shaken your head, looking back down at the floor. “I don’t really have legs to stand on there. I got Noir II killed, I killed Firecracker, I’ve destroyed at least two buildings and gotten a lot of other, innocent people killed by proximity. I mean, fuck, I’m in love with Soldier Boy-“ 

You hadn’t meant to say that. It had fallen out of your mouth and you’d stuttered to a stop, but it was too late. When you looked back up at A-Train, his mouth was hanging open. 

“You-“ 

“Please don’t tell anyone that,” you’d whispered. “I didn’t mean to tell you that, I’m just exhausted-“ 

“I’m not going to.” A-Train had still been frowning at you. “I mean, I don’t really care about your personal shit. Even if it’s being in love with Soldier Boy.” A-Train had frowned. “Isn’t he technically Homelander’s father?” 

“Yeah,” you’d leaned your head back against the wall. “And I’m aware of how fucked up that is.” 

A-Train had shrugged. “All of this is fucked. I don’t think you fucking Soldier Boy is any less fucked than anything else we’ve all done.” 

“We’ve never actually fucked,” you’d mumbled, because you couldn’t stop now. In no world had you foreseen the I’m very in love with Ben and it’s all impossibly confusing and complicated conversation happening in a fancy bathroom with A-Train, but you had started it and now you were apparently incapable of stopping it. “I mean, we’ve done stuff. But not fucking.” 

“Okay.” A-Train had frowned. “Why the fuck are you telling me that?” 

“Because I’m lonely.” You’d looked up at him with a sad smile. “And you’re here.” 

He’d nodded, then moved away. You’d thought he’d left, just pissed off because he didn’t want to deal with this. But he’d dropped against the wall across from you with a sigh, pulling off his visor to meet your eyes. “How long?” 

You’d frowned at him. “How long?” 

“Have you and Soldier Boy been not fucking.” 

“February. But, uh,” you’d shaken your head. “I think I might have been in love with him before that.” 

“Okay,” A-Train had nodded, and kept going. “Does Homelander-“ 

“He found out after the interview. Sage told him.” 

“And your team-“ 

“I’m not sure. They know we’re close, and maybe some of them have figured out it’s more than that, but I’m really not sure.” You’d tilted your head at him. “Why are we talking about this?” 

“I don’t exactly have a lot of friends either.” A-Train muttered. “I killed the only woman I’ve ever loved because Homelander told me to, Sage is a bitch, and the Deep is an idiot. Ashley’s fine, sometimes, but we don’t exactly talk about things that aren’t life or death.” 

“Oh,” you’d nodded. “Okay.” 

It had been silent for a second, both of you watching each other wearily. 

“Does he know?” 

You’d blinked. “Who?” 

“Soldier Boy. Does he know you love him?” 

“No,” your voice had cracked a little, a lump forming in your throat. “It’s complicated.” 

“Does he love you?” 

“No.” 

A-Train had blinked at your answer. “You said that really fast.” 

“He doesn’t,” you’d let out a long breath before continuing. “I’m okay with it. He just doesn’t and it’s fine.” 

He’d looked like he’d wanted to keep pushing. You’re grateful he didn’t, because if you kept talking about Ben you might have started crying. 

“I, uh,” A-Train had shaken his head, foot tapping on the floor. “When I was a kid I wanted to be a hero. Just, while we’re talking about fucked shit, I wanted to be a hero. A real hero. My brother said I could help people, and I really did believe him. And then I just, I got lost. It’s a shit ton harder to be a hero when it’s not just a word. When you actually have to back it up and nobody around you seems to care. Now it’s probably too fuckin late.” 

“I don’t think it’s ever too late,” you’d watched him carefully, speaking slowly. “You can always change. Humans aren’t static. We’re always changing. It’s a strange kind of exceptionalism to think you’re immune to that. To think you’re special enough to not be capable of being better.” 

A-Train had narrowed his eyes at you. “What are you talking about.”

“I dedicated my whole life before this to studying people,” you’d held his gaze, not wavering on your words. “And you realize pretty fast that concepts of good and bad are different across the world. It’s not something that’s fixed, because people aren’t fixed. We’re not born good or bad. We are who we are, who we’ll be, but we also make choices. I mean,” you’d shrugged. “You can keep doing good things, or bad things, or nothing at all. But you’re never incapable of doing something different. If you think you can’t, it’s because you think you’re too good to be better. But everyone is always capable of being better.” 

“Like Soldier Boy?” 

“Like Ben,” you’d whispered. “He’s better. And he’s good. Really good.” 

“And you really love him?” 

You’d swallowed. “Yeah. A lot.” 

A-Train had nodded. “You think he’ll be waiting for you?” 

“Yes.” You’d answered without hesitation. Ben may not love you, but he’d never leave you. If you knew one thing in all of this, it was that Ben would never leave you. “He will.” 

“Then what?” 

You’d frowned at him. “What are you talking about?” 

“When this is over. If you win,” A-Train had shrugged. “Then what?” 

“I,” you’d shaken your head. “I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far ahead.” 

“You have to have a reason you’re still going,” A-Train had leaned forward slightly. “It can’t just be because you’re a fucking good person.” 

“I’m not-“ 

“Yeah, you are.” A-Train had rolled his eyes. “You’re better than me, than all of us. Congratulations, you did it. You won the stupid contest.”

“I didn’t-”

He’d kept going, ignoring your protest. “But you have to have something you want. Everyone has something they want. That’s how this shit gets out of control.” He’d sighed. “You get promised the thing you want and never fully get it. Then it’s never enough.” 

“I don’t have anything I want,” you’d mumbled. “Just for this to be over.” 

“After that,” A-Train had snapped. “You’ve got to think of after. Otherwise you’ll just burn out.” 

“Butcher-“ 

“Is a vengeance fueled asshole. That dude might not have an after. I want my family back. So does MM. Hughie and Annie probably want a peaceful, boring fucking life. Ashley wants a year at a spa. What do you want.” 

You’d swallowed. “I don’t know.” 

“Think about it. What did you want before?”

“To do something important,” you’d said softly, rubbing circles against your arms. “Have a job where I helped people, where I was respected in my field. Then go home to someone who loved me, who I’d built a life with. A life that was mine.”

“Then do that. When this is all finally fucking done, build a life.” 

“I can’t,” you’d shaken your head, eyes blurred from tears. “I wanted to get married. I wanted a job. I wanted kids.” You choke slightly. “I don’t, I can’t be sure any of that is even possible anymore. Not after this.” 

“You can do whatever you want.” A-Train’s voice had been sharp. “Don’t let all these assholes control you, change how you live your life. You can do all that, or none of it, but you do it.” He’d sighed. “Don’t let them make you lose people. Lose happiness. They don’t deserve to have that kind of control over you.” 

“Thank you,” you’d smiled softly, and he’d shrugged. 

“Sure.” 

You’d given a dry laugh. “They really just fuck everything up, don’t they.” 

“Fucking everything,” A-Train had nodded with a small smile that had fallen fast. “I still can’t help you. Not like you asked. My family-“ 

“It’s fine,” you’d met his eyes with a sigh. “I’ll find something else.” 

“You’re serious?” 

“Yeah,” you’d shrugged. “I can move things around, find another way. You can still help.” You’d given him a tight smile. “You can be better. But you should leave the bathroom. They might start looking for us soon.” 

He’d nodded and stood, giving you one last look before leaving. “Thanks.” 

“No problem.” 

The air whooshed, and you were alone on the floor of the bathroom again. 

We could go to Rome, Ben’s voice had hummed around you. When all this shit is over, we can always go to fucking Rome. 

I’d love to go to Rome. You’d smiled into the empty air around you. I’d love anywhere, as long as you were there. 

Because you love me. 

Because I love you. You’d leaned back again, hitting the button above you one last time. Ben, really I love you. It’s kind of stupid how much I love you. 

Are you ever actually going to fucking tell me that? 

Maybe. You’d sighed. Maybe one day in a million years I’ll grow some balls and tell you. 

What would you say? 

It doesn’t matter. 

Shut the fuck up. When you tell me you love me, which you will because you’re not a pussy, what are you going to say. 

Benjamin. 

Don’t Benjamin me, I’m fucking helping. 

You’re not real.

So you can fucking tell me. If I’m not real it won’t goddamn matter. 

The air turned off, and the bathroom had still been empty. 

You’d started to hum. A simple love song, just so you could see his face. Look at him. 

He was so fucking handsome. You'd almost started crying because he was right there, tall and broad and standing in front of you, grinning at you but not real. You couldn’t feel him, not really, because your sensory manipulation didn’t extend to emotion. So you could grab Fake Ben’s hand and feel his warm skin but not him. You couldn’t feel Ben, strong and resolved and everything. But you could smell pine, and feel his hand trace along your jaw. You could grab it and hold it there—let Fake Ben trace circles on your cheek with his thumb—and try to pretend it was real. Pretend it was enough. 

I love you. Your words had to stay in your head, because if you stopped humming to talk aloud Fake Ben would disappear and you needed to keep looking at him. I love you like the ocean loves the moon and the sun loves the stars. I love you like the birds want to sing and the caterpillar longs to be a butterfly. I love you like the grass loves the rain and the lighting loves the thunder. Like the flower loves the bee and the snail loves its shell. I love you like you’re music I get to sing and light I get to eat. I love you like the spiderweb loves the spider and the grave loves the flowers. I love you like a mirror loves to shatter and the alter loves the blood. I love you like the devil loves fire and like god loves the devil. I love you, Ben. I love you, I love you, I love you. I’ll love you until all the world is scattered across the sky and we’re both trapped in the spaces that remain between. I’ll love you until my voice is gone and my heart is only still beating because you’re holding it. I’ll love you until everything is burning away and it’s just you and me. If they find a way to kill us I’ll love you as a ghost and my skeleton will keep one hand on yours. I love you because all my bones and muscles fit in with your bones and muscles, and because my soul is mine but it’s stronger when it’s yours as well. I love you, Ben. I love you. 

You’d cried. No sobs wracking your body, but small tears you couldn’t hold in. Tears you’d let Fake Ben wipe away before you’d had to let him go, and then wiped again yourself because they were real, and he hadn’t been. And you’d returned to Homelander, smiled through the party in a green velvet dress that didn’t fit and said words you didn’t mean. Let Homelander herd you wherever he wanted and kept your head together. Taken in even breaths of horrible coconut and smiled with no teeth at people with eyes like monsters. Looking at you like you were a prey that they couldn’t have because the apex predator had decided you were his. 

You didn’t throw up that night. You’d stared into the dark, cold air and talked to the phantom of Ben trapped in your head. 

And you’d sat in the fire. Not alight under your skin, but pulsing in a small, warm ember. Awake. Growing. 

By the time you’re sat in the Seven’s meeting room, with all four remaining members and Ashley, it was stronger. Beginning to smoke along your veins. 

“We’ll all be attending the Believe Expo tomorrow,” Sage’s arms are crossed as she glares around the table. “It’s important to appear as a unified front, and this is our primary base. Many non-christian supporters will be in attendance this year, as the association between Homelander and Christianity is becoming interchangeable in the public eye. Which also means we’re leaning away from actual biblical rhetoric, and into our own narrative. We can’t completely disavow the religious aspect, so we’ll have to walk a careful line between not alienating the new people and indoctrinating the old ones. Everyone will get their scripts tonight.” 

The Deep raises his hand, and Sage rolls her eyes but nods for him to speak. 

“Uh, aren’t they going to notice if a,” he frowns at Sage, looking her up and down. “Muslim is leading the Christ Show?” 

“No, because I’m an atheist, dumbass.” Sage snaps. “And I can recite the bible from front to back. All you have to do is show up, do what I tell you, and not say you’re in love with an octopus again. Understood?” 

The Deep looks at Homelander for an order to say yes or no, but Homelander’s not paying attention. He’s staring up at you, standing where he’d told you to. Silently at his side, like a statue he’d collected. When The Deep coughs, Homelander scoffs and waves a hand. 

“Just do whatever the woman fucking tells you to.” 

“Yes, sir.” The Deep nods, and then gives Sage a nervous look. 

Homelander is still staring at you. 

“Sage,” he says slowly. Not looking away. “I want to see her script.” 

“I haven’t written her one,” Sage glares at you. “Anomaly will be on stage for your speech at the end of the program, and you’ll kiss her. That’s her role.” 

Your nails dig into your wrist, both held behind your back. Breathe. You just have to breathe and get through this and not break. One kiss will not break you. One touch will not open the floodgates. You can’t scream or run because you’ll lose. You can breathe now and fall apart later. 

Homelander says your name, and it makes your skin itch. “Is going to give a speech. The people need to care about her, especially with the CIA and Starlight spewing all those fucking lies about her. About us. 

Sage shakes her head. “Homelander-“ 

He turns, shooting her a sharp glare. “I’m not fucking asking. Write her a speech.” 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Sage says cooly. “Not after-“ 

“I dealt with that,” Homelander’s voice raises slightly, and Sage falls silent. She doesn’t flinch, but she doesn’t keep pushing either. “I am telling you that you are going to write her a speech. You can either do it yourself, or I’ll have those fucking idiot writers do it for you.” 

Sage’s eyes narrow, but she nods. “Fine.” 

Homelander nods, looking back to you. “Sage?” 

She sighs. “What.” 

“Make it about love.” He smiles at you, and nothing has ever been harder than smiling back. 

The first thing you learn about the Believe Expo—something that until two weeks ago you’d been pretty certain wasn’t a thing anymore—is that it’s loud. Everything is so loud. Homelander flies you there through the cold mist and wind of the morning before telling you to practice your speech and shooting back up into the sky. They’re only setting up—workers dressed in black adjusting lights and testing speakers that ring screeching feedback through the air—and it’s already too much. People are moving everywhere, marking spots on the stage floor and arranging seats and trying to get cloth covers to stay on the tables. You’re lost in how loud it is, and almost get run over by a man carrying a large box that spills out cables as it collides with you. 

“Fuck!” You flinch at his shout, dropping down to help gather the wires scattered across the damp grass as he continues. “Goddamnit girl, we’re already behind schedule, I don’t have the fucking time-“ 

You look up at him to apologize, and he freezes. “I’m-“ 

“It’s fine,” he mumbles, almost pushing you away from the mess. “I’m sorry I yelled, ma’am. I promise there won’t be any delays for the event.” 

You blink at him, rubbing his neck and refusing to meet your eyes, but before you can ask any questions someone taps on your shoulder and says your name. 

“Thank fuck I found you, your trailer is ready.” 

“My trailer?“ You turn to see Ashely, holding a clipboard and tapping her foot. Looking around at the stage work with a tense expression. “Ashley, I don’t-“ 

“I’ll show you where it is. And don’t clean that up, it’s not your job.” 

“But-“ 

“You!” She points her pencil at a woman standing off the side, holding a coffee. “Clean this up, now.” 

“Ma’am, I’m uh, I’m on break-“ 

“I don’t fucking care, clean it! And you-“ Ashley’s glare turns back to you, still crouched on the ground. “Let’s go.” 

She grabs your arms and starts to pull you up, and something wraps around your throat and hands, trying to squeeze all the oxygen out of your body. Everything is sharp, too sharp, moving too fast and yet not fast enough. 

You yank your arm away the moment you’re on your feet, half because you don’t think Ashley remembers you can feel her and half because that was completely unbearable. You follow her off the stage, waiting until you’re out of the crews’ earshot to quicken your pace, walking at her side and speaking in a low voice. 

“You shouldn’t touch me, Ashley.” 

“What?” She shoots you a quick glare. “Don’t be dramatic, I was just helping you stand up-“ 

“You touched me. Your hand touched my arm. I felt you.” 

“So? It’s not like I-“

“Ashley.” You stop walking and wait for her to turn around. “I felt you.” 

“What the fuck are-“ Her angry expression falls, her face goes pale “Oh, I, I forgot, fuck-“ 

“It’s fine,” you say quickly. “I mean, it’s not a big deal. You just, uh, you shouldn’t touch me.” 

“I didn’t mean to, I’m- shit! I-“ 

“I’m not mad,” you frown at her. “I’m just reminding you. Don’t touch me unless you’re okay with me feeling it.” 

She nods tightly, hands pulling at her hair, and swallows before speaking. “Don’t tell Homelander I touched you. He doesn’t want us to touch you.” 

You feel the cold bloom inside you again, but manage to push it down. Give Ashley a tight nod. “I won’t.” 

“Can we go to the trailer now?” She looks down at the clipboard. “Fuck, we were supposed to be at the trailer five minutes ago-“ 

“Where is it?” 

“Just over there, but-“ 

“I can find it.” You start to walk away, in the general direction Ashley had pointed, but she calls your name and you stop. “What-“ 

“We’re not supposed to leave you on your own.” She’s tugging at her hair still, looking between you and the clipboard. “I technically should’ve been there when Homelander dropped you off-“ 

“I’m not going to run away, Ashely.” You sigh. “Please, just go do whatever you need to.” 

She looks like she might protest for a second, but looks back at the clipboard and gives a tight nod. “Okay. Go.“ 

“Great.” You start to turn again, but Ashley calls your name again. 

“What-“ 

“Um, thanks.” She mutters, gives you a tense smile. “And please, don’t try to fucking escape-“

“I won’t. I can’t.” You turn, and finally manage to get away before Ashley can see the anguish on your face. 

You could escape, Sunshine. Ben’s voice carries on the wind. Or I could come fucking get you. 

We’ve had this conversation. You can’t come get me, they’ll put you back under. 

I don’t give a shit. You should be home. With me. 

I know, but I can’t. Not yet. 

You fucking should, though. This is some insane, cum guzzling bullshit. And you are not fucking kissing Homelander. 

I’m not exactly thrilled about it either, Benjamin. 

Not for me, brat. Because he’s a fucking pussy who shouldn’t be allowed within a million miles of you. 

You have to stop your internal fight with Ben’s voice, because you reach the trailer and are immediately surrounded by people doing your hair and makeup, shoving Sage’s script into your hands for you to memorize. There will be a teleprompter, because Sage isn’t an idiot who thinks the Deep will remember anything for more than fifteen minutes—let alone a whole script from the time he’s in his trailer to four hours later when he’s on stage—but you still want to read it. To know what’s coming. 

It’s what you expected in its entirety. A lot of propaganda. A lot of lies. A lot of anecdotes that never happened and some musings about love that sound like a sociopath wrote them. I love Homelander because he completes me. I see us in every great romance in history. He is the thing that gets me up in the morning. 

You can hear the crowd outside now. People start to filter into the venue, more and more in larger and larger waves until the trailer feels as if it’s shaking. 

But you manage to keep it together. To keep reading as your finger taps on the chair and a blonde woman you’ve never seen before—and will likely never see again—pins your hair tight against your head and applies chemicals that would probably burn your scalp if you didn’t heal in that same second. 

I want to start a family with him. Lead the best life we can together. 

You put the script down, and once your hair and makeup team is gone you scramble to the trash can and empty the bile of your stomach until you can breathe. 

You just have to get through this. You just have to keep moving. 

They’d put you back in the supe costume. It’s better fitted than last time, but still just hideous. Uncomfortable and impractical and ugly. It feels wrong on your body, not just because it’s showing too much skin and the lace is scratching at your skin but because it’s not you. Supe costumes in general are dumb, because it’s not an outfit on a person, it’s a label on a product. Ben’s lucky he has a stupid handsome face that makes him attractive in everything or you’d have made fun of him ruthlessly about his own. 

You still fucking did that. You said I looked like a Christmas tree that’s been sent to war on the draft. 

And I’ve have said more if I didn’t want to climb that tree and let it fuck me. 

You called me an R rated G.I. Joe Doll. 

You are an R rate G.I. Joe Doll, Pretty Boy. I was being accurate and poetic. 

Brat. 

Cunt. 

You take a long breath, and grab the script again. Just get through this. You’ll break later, but right now you have to get through this. 

I’m excited to lead a great life with Homelander, for our love story to be remembered as one from a fairytale. Because he is my prince, my white knight who saved me from the dark. Homelander you’re my soulmate- 

Soulmate my fucking blue balls. Ben’s voice mutters in your head, and you can almost see his scowl. The pussy doesn’t even like you. 

Soulmates aren’t real, Ben. 

Still, you’re not his damn soulmate. 

Well, I’m not yours. Or anyones. Because soulmates aren’t real. 

But you love me. 

I do. That doesn’t mean we’re soulmates. You don’t even love me, Benjamin. Something hurts deep, deep inside you and against your skull. I think soulmates, if they were real, which they aren’t, are both supposed to love each other. 

Inside your chest, something pounds and beats against your lungs and ribs. Something powerful and bloody and desperate. The slight blur of the world vanishes—you hadn’t even noticed it before—and everything is clear and warm and angry. 

Why are you so fucking sure I don’t love you? 

What? 

You keep telling me I don’t love you. What makes you so damn positive? 

You don’t. 

I do. 

You blink into the empty trailer. No, you don’t. 

I fucking do. The thing inside you rages, and you’re not sure if it’s yours or not. You’re not touching anybody, and it doesn’t feel foreign or out of place inside you. But you’ve never felt something like this. It’s focused and pious and entirely made of something monstrous that you can’t name. It’s not dangerous, nothing about it feels dangerous—it reminds you of Ben, and he’d never hurt you—but it’s still the most intensely starved and insatiable feeling you’ve ever experienced. 

No, even in your head your voice is slow and confused. You don’t. 

You’re not the fucking boss of me.

I am literally the fucking boss of you. I am the government-appointed boss of you. 

I think they stripped that title from you when they realized we didn’t exactly have an appropriate boss-employee relationship, Sunshine. 

Fuck you. 

You did, that was the problem. 

You watch too much porn, Pretty Boy. I’m not a boss fucking her secretary and causing a scandal. 

I wasn’t your fucking secretary. 

Good thing, too. You’d have been terrible at it. I’d have asked you to check my calendar and you’d have destroyed the computer. 

You wouldn’t have been too mad about it. I’d have fucked your brains out on the desk and you’d have forgiven me. 

I would not have forgiven you. Computers are expensive. 

Then I’d buy you a damn new one, then fucked your brains out. And then you’d have forgiven me. Because I’d have told you I love you, and you’d have cum all over my cock, and you’d forgive me. 

You think your heart stops for a second, restarting with the jolt of that strange feeling in your chest. In your head your voice is breathless. Ben, please stop saying that. 

No. 

You don’t love me- 

I fucking do. 

No, you don’t. This feels like a strange hill for you to die on, convincing the phantom voice in your head of the man you love that he doesn’t love you back. But you press on. Stop saying that you do. It’s mean. 

Why the hell is it mean. Saying that I love you is the opposite of damn mean- 

Because I really, really, love you! And it’s mean to lie to me and try and convince me that Real Ben might love me! 

The thing roars inside you. What- 

The door to the trailer opens, and Ashley walks in without warning, eyes glued to her phone. The thing in you flares, and then it’s gone. 

“You’re on,” she looks up, giving you a once over before her eyes land on the abandoned script at your feet. “Did you read it?” 

You kind of read it. You didn’t finish it, but you’ve got the gist, so you nod. 

“Good,” Ashley looks back to her phone. “Are you ready?” 

You nod again, pulling yourself up from the floor, and are about to walk out the door when Ashley holds out an arm to block your path. You almost run into it, and you both flinch back, Ashley nearly dropping her phone. 

“You need to wear your disguise,” she says quickly, pulling her arms back. “People will swarm you.” 

The prep-team had left you a large hoodie with Homelander’s smiling face printed across it, a Vought baseball cap, and black sunglasses. You glance in the mirror after you change, and you look like an idiot. You feel like an idiot. If this all wasn’t so dangerous and precarious, it would be plain stupid. 

But, because the universe is strange and uncaring, this is incredibly important. You have to wear Homelander’s face on your body, because you can’t protest or it will blow everything. You have to wear a stupid baseball cap—which is going to ruin your stupid hair—because people can’t see your face. It’s the same reason you put on the sunglasses that pinch your nose, and make yourself follow Ashley out into the densely packed crowd. You don’t have another choice. 

There are too many people. The first thing you realize is that there are far too many people, and you’re going through them. They’re bumping your arms and legs, brushing against your skin in accidental passing, and it’s going to make you explode. Everything is too bright and loud and everything is like a live wire. Everyone is so excited, and all you’re getting is fleeting passes of their overzealous, stabbing feelings before being plunged right back into your own cold fear. Spreading faster, not fully overtaking the fire but making it grow dim. Pushing it further away. 

By the time you’re dropped off in a small tent—A-Train and the Deep playing cards at a fold-out table, Sage and Homelander nowhere to be found—your blood is rushing through your body and ramming against your throat and ears. Trying to escape your body. You almost immediately collapse into a chair, trying to take long breaths and think about happy things. 

Music. The music playing over the loudspeakers is deafening. Off-rhythm gospel music that’s like nails digging into your brain. 

City lights. There isn’t any life or joy in the light around you. The sun is behind the clouds, and the flood lights are hidden in a mist that makes the whole world just gray. 

Ben. Ben isn’t here. With you. And all you can do is miss him. 

Something claws at your heart, but you can’t spare the time or energy to feel it. It’s loud and tight, almost impossible to ignore, but you manage to just close your eyes and try to find something happy. Try to make something happy. A-Train and the Deep are fighting in the background. It’s so loud, and you’re growing cold again. You can’t see anything but the gray, can’t feel anything but a metal chair below you and the fog around you, and can’t hear anything that’s not angry or frantic. 

Fresh air. The air is fresh and smells like rain. You haven’t smelled fresh air in months, and it’s all just clean and easy. Sharp and bright in your lungs, made of the wetlands around you. Mud and pine and grass, stronger than the cold sweat of the crowd. Fresh air. 

You take one last, long, deep breath. You’re not at peace, but this isn’t about peace. It’s about the world being in focus, and being able to just keep going. 

“Hey,” The Deep says your name, and you just stare at him. “We haven’t really talked yet. I’m Deep.” 

You nod. “I know.” 

“Right, of course you do. I mean, you can call me Kevin-“ He extends his hand for you to shake, and A-Train whacks it back. “Bro-“ 

“We’re not supposed to touch her, dumbass.” A-Train’s not looking at you. He hasn’t looked at you since you sat down. “And she’s not going to call you Kevin. Fucking nobody calls you Kevin.” 

“My friends all call me Kevin,” the Deep looks back to you with a wide, white-toothed smile. “I mean, me and Homelander are real tight-“ 

“No, you’re not.” 

“He likes me more-“ 

“Homelander doesn’t give a shit about you,” A-Train rolls his eyes. “It’s your turn. Play or give up.” 

The Deep gives you one last look like he’s going to say something, but turns back around to their game. 

It’s another ten or so minutes before Ashley returns—this time with both the clipboard and her phone—and you have to move. Interviews. Photo ops. Saying all the right words in the right tone with the right body language for the microphones and cameras. 

It’s so loud. The walk—even through a barricaded area—is full of screaming people leaning over metal blockades and the bass of the music, running into your bones. Ashley is recapping Sage’s talking points—The Deep isn’t allowed to talk about marine animals, A-Train needs to talk about gospel and unity, and you shouldn’t speak at all—As the Deep shakes his body out, practicing his smile and introduction and A-Train still doesn’t look at you. 

The powerful thing returns, as you’re back in the open. It’s still violent and alert, strange but not out of place, and it feels like Ben. It’s just Ben, indescribably Ben. If you didn’t know better, you’d think it was him, because you know him. You know all of him, all his anger and care and vengeful warmth. You know how he is, how his heart pounds and his will moves everything around him, how everything in him is strong like this is. 

It fades when you're pulled into another tent. Not fully dying out, but growing dull. Far away. 

You’re sat next to A-Train—who just stares ahead into the air and lets them start to mic him—with a reminder not to talk. If you’re asked questions, Sage will answer them for you. You just have to sit there, be pretty, and smile. No matter what happens, what’s being said around you, keep smiling. 

Sage doesn’t show up. There’s a seat saved for her, with her name taped to it and water bottle under it, but she never arrives and Ashley makes everyone keep going. A well dressed woman sits across from you, the cameras turn on, the show begins.

Smile. Don’t talk and smile. Ashley reminds every journalist to greet you and look at you casually but never actually speak to you. They just give you a few smiles and glances, and only two or three actually meet your eyes. Most end up going through the motions and trying to pretend you’re not there. 

You don’t blame them. You’re doing the same. For what feels like eternity you’re sat in a chair—just another prop to the set—and as your face starts to hurt from smiling you stop paying attention. You put energy into trying to find the source of the odd feeling still making a home in your chest, but it’s stubborn. You try and pull it up to the surface and it doesn’t budge, you try and poke it and it just hums. 

It’s exactly like Ben. 

After all I fucking do for you. 

His voice is back. It always comes back. It doesn’t make the thing in you rear and push like it had before, but it’s still everywhere. Humming lowly in the mic feedback and where your foot is tapping the floor. 

Go away. I’m busy. 

His laugh haunts the spaces of silence between the voices around you. I’m not fucking real, Sunshine. I can’t go away. I’m a part of you. 

You’re an annoying part of me. Piss off, Pretty Boy. I’m trying to figure something out. 

Figure what out? 

Shut up. 

Fuck me backwards for trying to help you. 

This isn’t something you can help with, Ben. 

Try me. 

Fine, you try not to sigh aloud. I can feel something. Something I’m not sure I should be feeling. 

What, like horny? Are you horny? Do you miss me and you’re horny? 

No, you fucking dumb dumb. Like an emotion that I can’t understand. 

Well I can’t fucking help with that shit. 

I know. That’s why I told you to go away. 

Whatever. You love me. 

I do. 

The thing responds to that. It roars and starts to claw up your spine, grabbing your heart with firm but gentle hands and trying to pull it around in your body. 

What the fucking shit was that? 

I don’t know. Shut up, I need to test something. Ben, I love you. 

It’s going to kill you. This strange thing inside you is going to rip you to shreds, but before you can test anything further, the interviews are at an end and Ashley is ushering everyone away, dragging you around the venue to take photos. You’re handed countless crosses and bibles to hold up for the camera to see, as if people might not have been previously aware of them. The Deep and A-Train shake hands and pose with fans, you’re put in front of lambs and goats and a very unsettling marble statue of Homelander that’s still somehow warmer than the real one. 

The thing is still there. It keeps growing and waning and spreading and pulling back. As you move through the convention it grows wrathful and deafening, and you can’t figure out what it is. It’s not you. You’re certain it’s not you. You’d been pretty sure before, but now you’re certain. It doesn’t feel wrong, it doesn’t feel out of place, but it’s not you. You’re not consuming like this, you’re not… Parasitic is the wrong word, you decide, because it’s inherently negative. Nothing about this thing is negative. It’s big and demanding and so loud, but it’s almost comfortable. Full of want and content and focused attention. Made of something rough that’s been dedicated to whatever feeds it.  

You just can’t figure out what it wants. It’s hungry, it’s full of such a familiar, Ben-like hunger, but nothing seems to satisfy it. You repeat the words, Ben. Ben, I love you, several times, and it always takes them, but it never grows fully quiet. If anything it’s like offering it salt-water. It pours it down deep, and then grows more demanding. 

If you had more time you’d find somewhere quiet to figure out what the hell is going on. But the sun is starting to fall down, and Ashley is herding you to the backstage area. Ranting about speeches and last minute adjustments and don’t fuck up and- 

It’s just a flash. You only see it for a second, moving beyond the barricade through the crowd, but you still see it. 

Black hair. Long, wavy black hair attached to a short woman. 

Lots of people have black hair. You’ve seen at least twenty women with black hair in the past three hours alone. But you still stop in your path and crane your neck up. Trying to see over the crowd, deeper into the fray. 

You see the hair again. And, this time, the side-profile of the woman it’s attached to. Hooded eyes with eyeliner and a focused determination on her face. 

“Holy shit.” 

Your whisper is only heard by the Deep, who turns to you with a frown. “I thought Sage told us not to swear-“ 

“Ashley!” Your voice is almost a shriek, loud and frantic. “I need to go to the bathroom now!” 

“Hold it,” Ashley says your name without looking up from her phone, continuing to move towards the stage. “We’re on a really fucking tight schedule.” 

“Ashley!” You move to grab her, stop her, make her listen and she flinches back with wide eyes. 

“I-“ 

“I got my period,” you say bluntly. “And, uh, I’m wearing a skirt-“ 

She sigh. “Fine, but be fast-“ 

“I will! Super fast!” You run ahead, into the porta potties dropped near all the stage equipment for the crew. They smell awful, and you probably should’ve chosen a spot that’s meant to hold more than one person, but you’re here now. Now is not the time to second guess anything. 

You wait, just long enough that you start to wonder if A-Train hadn’t heard you or didn’t understand, and wasn’t coming. 

Then the air whooshes, and he’s crammed next to you as the door slams. “What the fuck was that about-“ 

“They’re here,” you don’t wait for him to fully gain his footing in the small space before you speak, and ignore his rush of stress and annoyance when your bodies brush. There’s not enough time. “They’re all here.” 

“Wh-“ 

“Butcher,” you hiss. “MM and Frenchie and Kimiko. Probably Hughie, probably not Annie.” And Ben. Ben is here. 

“Are you sure-“ 

“Yes.” 

“Well, why the fuck are they here-“ 

“I don’t know!” 

“Would you stop fucking interrupting-” 

“No!” You’re running your hand over your face, trying to make your brain move faster. To do something productive, and stop just chanting Ben. Ben, I love you. Ben, you’re here and I can see you and touch you and I love you, Ben, I love you- “I need to think.” 

“Think?” A-Train glares at you. “We need to fucking run, those idiot are always blowing everything-“ 

“Shut up,” you snap. “This is a chance. They’re here for a reason. They’re probably planning something-“ 

“Something stupid-“ 

“Shut up!” You’re almost shouting. There’s no time for this, you need to figure out what they’re doing here and adjust, you need to find out how to keep Homelander and Sage—wherever the hell they are—away from them, you need to see Ben. You need to find Ben, now. A-Train is still glaring at you, and your fire isn’t strong enough yet—not here, where the cold is crawling through you once more—so you need a plan. 

You look A-Train up and down, he’s trying to pace in a space where you’re both pressed against the wall to not touch each other, and you’ve got it. 

“You’re leaving.” 

A-Train freezes, frowning at you. “What?” 

“You’re going to go with them. When they leave, you’re going to go with them,” you nod to yourself as you speak. “You’re done with the Seven, you’re going with them.” 

“Are you crazy?! Or stupid?!” A-Train gapes at you. “I have a tracker, they might not even take me, and my family will still be in danger-“ 

“I’ll burn out your tracker, they will take you, and…” You trail, trying to find your way around A-Train’s family. He’s right, Vought knows who they are. They won’t just let him go quietly and bloodlessly, not when he’d be turning to their enemy. But this has to work- 

“If you can’t tell me how my family will be fine, there’s not a chance in hell-“ 

“You’ll die.” 

“What?!” 

“You’re going to die,” you say the words firmly. No room for error, no room for wavering. “They’re going to ‘kill you’,” you make exaggerated air quotes. “And you’re going to ‘die’.” 

A-Train frowns at your hands. “What are those, what are you talking about-“ 

“You’re not really going to die,” you snap. No time. “We’re going to fake your death. They’ll make it look like they killed you and everybody wins.” 

“How does everybody win there?” A-Train’s rolling on the balls of his feet, still glowering at you. “They’ll just twist it, Starlighters are murderers-“ 

“Exactly,” you have an almost maniacal grin on your face. “But the Seven will just have lost its second member in as many weeks. Not a great look for the whole supe supremacy narrative if their best and brightest are dropping like flies. It’s bad for everybody, and that’s why everyone wins.” 

A-Train shakes his head. “What about my family? How do they win?” 

“If you’re dead, if we do this right and Sage doesn’t suspect a thing, then they’ll be honored for your service and left in peace. But we have to do this right.” 

“I don’t-“ 

“A-Train,” you hiss. “This is the something. This is the better, and this is what I’m asking of you. You’re going to leave with them, you’re going to help them. You don’t have to like it, but this is it.” 

“How will I be able to help,” he protests, still pushing and there’s no time. “I mean, if I’m fucking ‘dead’-” 

“You have insider knowledge of the tower. You have insider knowledge of Vought, and Homelander, and Sage. You can help them, you just have to go.” 

“What about you?” 

You blink. “What?” 

“You’re not going to leave? Run away with them into the sunset?” 

You can hear the words A-Train won’t say. You can see them on his face and hear them echo in your head. Leave with Ben. Run away with Ben and be safe and let him care for you until this is just another nightmare. 

“I mean, you can’t just keep-“ 

“I’m going to stay.” You mutter, hating the words on your tongue. They taste bitter and foul, like sour coconut. “I have to stay.” 

“That’s-“ 

“Not up for debate.” You cross your arms, holding A-Train’s glare. “I have to see this through. They’re here for a reason, and once I know what, I can work it into my plan.” 

“You’re still doing a plan?” You don’t love the disbelief in A-Train’s voice. “There’s no fucking way you can keep this up-“ 

“I don’t have to keep it up.” You snap. “I just have to get through it. I’m staying, you’re going, that’s that.” 

A-Train pauses, and you can almost hear his brain trying to find a way to disagree. But you’ve done this well, and he lets out a long, heavy, angry sigh. “What do you need me to do.” 

“Thank you,” you give him a half-smile. “I’m going to find them. I’ll tell Ashley I just need to sit down, because I’m getting cramps or something, and I’ll go find them.” Find Ben. “Find out what they’re doing, why they’re here. I need you to find Ezekiel.” 

“Ezekiel?” A-Train frowns. “I haven’t seen that guy all day-“ 

“He’s here. This is his event, he’s on the program. You’re going to find him, and trick him into walking into them.” 

“Trick him? How am I-“ 

“Tell him they’re here. Tell him they’re looking for new members of the Seven and killing Butcher is a surefire way to get a foot in the door. Tell him Hughie’s here, he hates Hughie. Just get him to fight them. Preferably away from the crowd, but not until Homelander’s speech.” Your fingers are tapping against your arm, making changes to the plan as you speak. “Ezekiel can’t just go alone, he’ll mess up the plan, so you have to make him wait. After you talk to him, say you’re going to find where they are, so you can fight them together, and come find me. I’ll burn out your tracker, you’ll bring Ezekiel to fight them, make it loud, and ‘die’. My team will take care of getting you out, hopefully they’ll kill Ezekiel on the way, and I’ll know what I need to do on my end.” 

“For your plan.” 

“For my plan.” 

A-Train shakes his head. “Are you going to tell me your plan?” 

“No. All you have to do is die.” 

“Fuck.” He takes off his visors, meeting your eyes fully. “You think this will work?” 

No room for error, no room for doubt. “It has to.” 

He nods slowly. “Where am I going to find you?” 

Wherever Ben is. “You might have to look. I’m not sure yet.” 

“You’ll burn out my tracker?” 

“As soon as you find me.” 

“And my family-“ 

“Will be fine.” You give him a close-lipped, tight smile. “Promise. Just find Ezekiel.” 

“Fine.” A-Train put his visors back on. “See you on the other side.” 

He’s gone in a rush of wind, and you’re alone in the porta potty. Just you, the horrible smell of shit, and that thing in your chest. 

Ben. It is him. He’s here, and you can feel him. It’s something you’ll have to retcon later, why you can feel him, what this feeling actually is, but right now Ben is here. And you have to find him. 

You find Ashley first, and tell her you’re throwing up from period cramps in quick, blunt words. 

“Can’t you just hold it?” She begs, and you give her a flat look. 

“Ashley, do you think Sage will be angrier if I rest in the bathroom but do my speech without a hitch, or if I throw up on live TV?”

She shakes her head, running her hands through her hair. “Fuck! First A-Train’s fucking gone, now you-“ 

“He was freaking out about something,” you shrug. “Wouldn’t tell me what, but I think he’s just calming down.” You make a fake retching sound, and Ashley’s face twists. “Can I please-“ 

“Just go!” 

“Thank you!” You make yourself double over slightly, make your words strained. “I’ll be back-“ 

“I don’t fucking care, just be fast!” 

Ashley turns away, and you’re gone. Find Ben. You have to find Ben. This place is massive, and you can’t just push your way through the crowd—not again, not if you want to keep going—but nothing is more important right now than finding Ben. 

Where would you be, you fucking ass. Where would Ben be at the Believe Expo. 

He’d hate all of this. He’d hate the abstinence only sex education—the fuck do they have against a good time—he’d hate the pandering and holier-than-thou attitudes—these pussies aren’t better than me just because they read a goddamn book—and he’d despise all the morality. All the haughty faces and watered-down language and fake smiles. He’d hate all of this, there wouldn’t be a corner of it he’d enjoy, so you have no fucking clue where you’ll find him. 

You can’t just wander and hope you run into him. You don’t have the time to spare just trying to bump into him. But you need to find him. He’s here and you have to see him. Half because of your plan with A-Train, half because you fucking miss him. You miss him so much, and he’s here, and you can’t just not see him. Not touch him. He’s here and you need him and you love him- 

That thing in your chest rolls around. It’s pulling you forward, and you don’t think twice before you let it. And you know. You know where he’d be. You’d find him anywhere, and you know where he’d be. 

Taking a piss. In the VIP bathrooms, because he has no regard or respect for venue restrictions. He’d need to go to the bathroom, and would not care to use the dogshit porta potties—especially not with his sense of smell being so strong—so he’d just walk right into the VIP bathrooms. No one would stop him, because he’s Ben and he looks right everywhere. Even if he’s in disguise, he still walks and talks like there’s not a place in the world he doesn’t belong. 

There are two VIP bathroom trailers. One is near the trailers, and one is across the venue. You should check both, but he’s in the further one. You just know, he’s in the further one. He’d have been staying on the outskirts of the event, and would be in the further one. So you take a long, grounding breath, steal a black Believe Expo Staff hoodie and cap, and move. Trying to run without people noticing, because there’s no time to just walk. He’s there, you know he’s there, so you have to go. 

Of the three bathrooms in the trailer, two are locked. And one is Ben. There’s no way to explain how you know, but one is Ben. It’s the center one, and he’s in there, and you have to wait. 

You can’t wait out in the open. If a staff member sees you they’ll either make you go “back to work” or recognize you and tell Ashley or Sage that you’re here. So you look around, make sure no one’s watching, and rush into the spare, empty bathroom. Lean against the counter and wait. 

Ben. Ben is here. He’s one door down and now you have to just be patient. You’ll see him soon. 

It’s the longest four minutes of your life. You hate this stupid, amazing man, taking impossibly long pisses and making you love him and not just leaving the bathroom. He must not feel you here, not like you can feel him, because he’d be breaking the door down. 

That’s another thing to be confused about later. How this thing works. Right now the trailer is rumbling slightly, because someone just flushed a toilet, and you can just hear a door opening and closing over the noise of the crowd.

Ben. 

You open your door, and there he is. He’s turned away from you, and wearing a baseball cap that covers his hair, but it’s him. You’d be able to recognize him blind and underwater, and that’s Ben. Tall and broad and walking in rough steps with his hands fisted at his side. Away from you. 

“Ben,” you hiss his name, but he doesn’t turn around. “Benjamin.” 

His steps stutter, but he keeps moving. Getting further and further away. 

“Ben!” Your words are still said in a hushed voice, through your teeth, but you’re almost shouting. “I know you can fucking hear me, you cunt.” 

He stops, but still doesn’t turn. Hands curling tighter, knuckles becoming white. 

“Benjamin, if you don’t turn around right fucking now-“ 

You see his body heave from a sigh, hear a low and frustrated sound, and he turns around with a scowl. 

He’s so fucking handsome. His face is tired and angry, half obscured by his hat, but he’s still everything. And when he sees you, glaring at him with all the anger you can muster when he’s right there, his mouth falls open and that strange feeling—his feeling—roars. 

The shock across his features doesn’t even last a second before he’s moving. Sprinting across the grass with no regard for secrecy or not drawing attention. Sprinting to you. He’s here. 

You don’t have time to take a step back before he’s crashing into you, picking you up and slamming the door behind him. He doesn’t kiss you. You’d thought he’d kiss you, but he just raises you off the ground in the most bone-crushing hug you’ve ever experienced. And you can feel him. You can feel the warmth of his body, the care with which he’s touching you—hands roaming you like he’s not sure you’re real and is trying to check—and the strength of him. Really him. Here and touching you and smelling like pine and gunpowder and full of desperation. He’s so tired—you can feel it in your bones—and he’s trying to pull you closer and closer into him, in a way that would be painful if it wasn’t him. If he wasn’t still holding you like you were holy, like you were just a cloud that might dissipate in his hands if he didn’t stop it with firm hands and adoring touches. 

“You’re real,” his voice is soft and hoarse in your ear, and something in you breaks. He sounds exhausted. “You’re fucking real.” 

“Ben-“ 

He kisses you then. Drops one hand below your thighs and hauls you further up his body, swallowing your words. Swallowing you. It’s just you and Ben, and he’s here. He’s real and touching you like he always has and, just for now, you’re safe. You’re safe in his arms, keeping you steadily off the ground, and getting drunk on him. On his hands kneading your skin and cupping your face, on his mouth against yours. Hungry, always hungry, pushing into you brutally. Trying to take all your breath and give you his. Tongue tracing your teeth and pushing down your throat, sucking and biting your lips and groaning into your open mouth. You take it all. Your hands grab at his hair, push his cap to the floor so you can touch him, and lean as far into him as you can without being him. He’s here. He’s here and you love him and he’s everything. You’re letting him consume you, touch you as much as he wants, because you missed him. Because he’s real, and anything he can give you is enough. If he tries to take your heart, reach into your chest and rip it out, you’ll do it for him and feed it to him. If he bites your neck you hope it will, for once, leave a mark. If he gives you any part of him, you’ll dig a hole in your body and keep it there. Anything to feel him forever, anything to never stop feeling this. Feeling Ben. 

When he finally pulls back, it’s only because you can feel the pounding of his heart under your hands. Only because he’s breathing heavily, chest rising and falling in an uneven pattern, and you’re doing the same. You feel a little dizzy, but you want to keep going. You want to touch him until you pass out and he can take him home. Or to Rome, or Hawaii, or fucking Ohio or Texas or California or anywhere where he’s there and you’re together. Where you can feel like this forever, and it’s just you and Ben. Happy. Where he can always set you down this carefully against the counter, and keep his forehead pressed to yours as you both just hold each other. Where you can close your eyes and fall into him and always trust he’ll catch you. 

He mumbles your name, lips brushing yours as he speaks, and you can’t stop the small sound leaving your throat. A strangled noise of Ben. Ben, I love you. I missed you and I love you and I’m sorry. 

You’re crying. You don’t even realize it until you feel his thumb against your cheek, wiping your tears away, and that makes you cry more. 

“Ben,” you’re whispering. You don’t trust your voice to do anything else. “You’re here.” 

“I’m here.” He mutters. “You’re real.” 

You huff a soft, weak laugh. “I’m real.” 

He nods against you, and when you open your eyes he’s still there. Watching you, always watching you. Looking at you so reverently, and that thing is stronger than you’d ever felt it when he’s touching you. He’s wrapping around you, he’s everywhere around you, full of care and affection and something small and bright that’s resting at the base of his throat. His whole body relaxed and washed with relief. You love him. You love him so much. 

“Hi,” you smile at him, and it’s real. It’s sad and you’re still crying, but Ben is here and nothing can stop you from smiling at him. Just for now, just in this moment, you can smile at Ben and get to mean it. “Can you kiss me again?” 

Ben chuckles, and it’s a sound from deep in his body that moves into yours. He does as you ask, and this time he’s gentle. Not pushing for more, just kissing you until you sigh and hum against his mouth. Letting both of you just savor it, sit in the feeling of comfort and each other. 

When Ben pulls back he draws up slightly, studying your face, tracing it under one hand as the other holds you at your waist. “Are you-“ 

“I’m okay.” 

He doesn’t believe you. Ben frowns and his eyes narrow, and you know he doesn’t believe you. He trusts you, you can feel it, but you can also feel that concrete resolve around you both and you know that Ben isn’t going to just drop it. 

“Don’t-“ 

“I’m not lying,” you move your hands up from his chest, resting them on his shoulders. “I’m okay.” 

“I don’t think you’re lying,” he mutters, scanning over your body. “I know you think you’re okay. You always think you’re okay.” 

You blink at him. “What?” 

“You always say you’re okay, and you’re not.” Your eyes meet again, and there’s something painful in Ben’s. You can feel that pain in his body, but when it reaches his eyes it’s somehow worse. It makes him look sad. “You always fucking think you’re fine, and you believe it, but you’re goddamn not.” 

“I-“ 

“Just,” he sighs, squeezing your hips and running a thumb over your cheekbone. “Tell me the truth. Not what you think is the fucking truth, the factual truth. Are you okay?” 

You don’t answer. You try to answer, but words choke in your throat and suddenly you’re crying. Not soft tears like before, full sobs that shake your body and make you fall into Ben’s chest. He catches you, holds you against him until you can breathe again. He lets you wrap your arms around his torso and traces familiar patterns on your skin, resting his chin on your head and humming so fucking terribly. So off-key and out of tune you almost don’t recognize the song. 

When you do, you pull back and frown at him, blinking away your tears. “Rainbow Connection?” 

“Shut up.” 

“When did you-“ 

“Don’t fucking change the topic.“

“Ben,” you move one hand up to rest against his chest, and he holds it. Pulls it up to his mouth and kisses your palm, and your heart flutters through all its sore fatigue. “I’m okay. I’m really okay. I’m exhausted, but I’m okay.” 

“Homelander-“ 

“Hasn’t touched me,” you whisper. “Not like that.” 

Ben doesn’t stop glaring at you. “Swear it.” 

“Promise. No lies.” You smile at him again. “Would be a weird fucking thing to lie about anyway.” 

Ben rolls his eyes. “Shut up.” 

“Make me.” 

You’re wasting time. You have so little time to find out what the Boys are doing here, why they’ve decided being here is worth such a massive risk, but when Ben kisses you again you don’t really care. It’s just him, big and warm and safe. 

Real. 

When he leans back, you’re not crying anymore. You think you’ve just tired yourself out, or that your body knows there will be time to cry later. Right now Ben is here, and that’s all that matters. 

“Are we going to talk about Rainbow Connection?” You smile at him because you can. As long as Ben is here, you’ll always smile at him. “Did you watch the Muppets again?” 

Something flashes under his skin. Sore and hot, embarrassment. That’s his embarrassment. “Shut the fuck up.” 

“You did-“ 

He kisses you again. He won’t stop kissing you, and you’ve never been less annoyed about anything in your life. Today he’s allowed to kiss you to shut you up. Anything that keeps him here longer, anything you can take and hold in the weeks to come. 

Anything that makes you more certain he’s real. That this isn’t a cruel trick of your brain, and any second you’re going to wake up in a cold room that smells like coconut with Homelander across the mattress. 

But he is. Ben is here and real and you can feel it. A dream wouldn’t feel powerful like this, wouldn’t have all the protection of Ben running through your body, wouldn’t have this strange feeling of something pushing from Ben into you when he holds you. 

“You can gloat about it later,” he grunts against you, before standing up to his full height, looking down at you. “We need to fucking go.” 

You sigh. You’d known this was coming, and you’re honestly surprised it took this long. “We’re not going anywhere, Ben.” 

“The goddamn fucking hell we’re not-“ 

“I have to stay here.” Your voice isn’t loud, or firm. It’s soft and shaking and tired, because you’re exhausted. Because every ounce of will and strength in your body is being used for this. For telling Ben you can’t just go, that he has to leave you here and you’re both going to have to find a way to live with that. “You know I have to stay here.” 

“You don’t have to do a single fucking thing but go,” he’s not yelling. His voice is rising and his words are sharp but he’s not yelling. “You’re not safe here, we need to fucking go-“ 

“I can’t.” You reach up, holding his face between your hands and trying not to shatter when he raises his own to keep you there. “I can’t go, not until I see this through.”  

“Yes, you can! You fucking can!” His voice is loud, but Ben’s still not yelling. You’ve heard him yell, and it’s commanding. Ben’s yell demands attention, demands compliance. This is angry and loud but he’s pleading, and it’s worse. He knows you’re not leaving with him, deep down, so Ben is begging you to change your mind. It’s making you hurt, making all your bones and organs shutter and snap, and it’s horrible. All of this is horrible. “All you fucking have to do is go-“ 

“Ben-“ 

“You’re not fucking safe, I’m not going to goddamn leave you-“ 

“You’re not leaving me,” you smile at him, and your heart is starting to fold in on itself. “This isn’t leaving me.” 

“Yes, it fucking is-“ 

“I’m telling you you’re going to have to go without me. Not now,” your words become quick, slightly panicked, because if Ben leaves now you’ll collapse and not get back up. “But when it’s time. When you go, you’re going without me.” 

“I’ll pick you up and fucking carry you out,” he snaps, and you sigh. 

“I’ll scream.” 

“Then I’ll fucking cover your mouth.” 

“I’ll bite your hand.” 

“And I won’t goddamn feel it.” 

“Then I’ll take off your stupid hat and people will see you.” You shake your head, and try to be a little more numb. Try to pretend this isn’t killing you, that you can’t feel it killing him. “I want to come home Ben, I really want to. But I can’t. You know that.” 

“There’s not a fucking chance in hell I’m letting you stay here-“ 

“Ben,” you whisper. “You don’t let me do anything. I’m staying here, but you’re not leaving me.” 

“I fucking am,” he’s furious, you can feel it coursing through you, but it’s like poison. It’s raging and turning every part of Ben against himself, making your heart start to wither for him. For how he’s doing this to himself. “If I fucking go without you, I’ll be fucking failing you again. I’m not fucking failing you again-“ 

“Benjamin-“ 

“I’m not! I’m never failing you again, I’m never leaving you again, I’m never fucking losing you again-“ 

You pull his head down, and he freezes. Ben lets you hold his head against your shoulder, and when you start to run a hand through his hair he falls onto you. Just holds you like you’re going to try and escape, buries his face in your neck like he can climb in you and stay there. 

“I can’t fucking lose you again,” he mumbles your name against your skin, and your heart grows weaker. “I just fucking can’t.” 

“You didn’t lose me.” You say softly. “You didn’t fail me, or leave me, and you’ll never lose me.” Ben. Ben, I love you. “I’ll come back. I’ll always find my way back to you.” 

“You shouldn’t fucking have to,” he pulls back, and his face is so sad. You’ve never seen Ben sad, where his face is just slack and tired and clouded. He’s still angry, but his wrath is made of despair. Low and sunken and almost sick. That thing in him���in you—feels ill. “I can’t fucking stay here with you, I can’t protect you-“ 

“I’m okay,” you lean forwards, and Ben meets you. Heads pressed together, his arms still around your body and your hands still in his hair. “I’m going to be okay.” 

“You’re fucking not-“ 

“I will,” you whisper, and it’s not just Ben you’re trying to convince. “I’ll be okay. You don’t need to protect me from this, Ben. I’m okay.” 

“Please,” he mutters your name, and your heart finally breaks. Pulls itself in two at how low and desperate and hopeless Ben’s voice is. “Please, just come home. Just fucking come home.” 

“I can’t,” you’re crying again, and these tears are slow. Soundlessly falling from you, the only part of yourself that’s allowed to just mourn this. You’re not going home. Ben hasn’t failed you, he could never fail you, you love him and he’d never leave you or fail you or lose you, but you’re not going home. “We both know I can’t.” 

“I don’t fucking know shit-“ 

“I’m aware,” you smile dryly. “But I still can’t come home.” 

“You can,” his protests aren’t loud anymore. He’s just grasping at straws, trying to find one thing that will make you give up and go. “We’ll just fucking walk away, go to Rome-“ 

“Not until this is over. Not until Homelander’s dead.” 

“He will be,” Ben’s hands squeeze on your hips. “The team has a way to kill him, and they can fucking do it themselves-“

Your eyes widen. “They found a way?” 

“I fucking found a way, they barely did shit-“ 

“Benjamin,” you pull back, and everything is urgent again. “How do you kill Homelander.” 

“V. But-“ 

“V?” 

“Compound fucking V. Puts him down for the count, makes him a damn coma patient.” Ben says your name. “But they can do that themselves, we can go-“ 

“How do you know?” 

“We found a file in his lab-“ 

“His lab?” 

“The fucking Homelander lab, where they used my cum to make him grow-“ 

“That’s fucking disgusting-“ 

“Shut the fuck up, you love my cum-“ 

Now is not the time to let that turn you on. Keep going, no getting sidetracked trading easy, sparring words with him or thinking about his cum. “Ben, are you sure this will work?“

“I’m fucking positive, the lab nerds were real clear that even one shot of V throws off his whole body and turns the pussy into a vegetable.” 

“Won’t you still need to blast him with the special sauce?” 

Ben rolls his eyes. “They can make their own goddamn special sauce. Pump Homelander full of V, find their own fucking way to take him out forever. Drop a nuke on him, I don’t give a fuck. We-”

“That’s why you’re here.” Your brain spins, sorting and matching every piece of this together. “Samaritan’s embrace was a V front, and you’re looking for some.” 

“We’re fucking finding some, and killing Homelander, so you can go-“ 

“You won’t.” You pull Ben face forwards, forcing his words to die in his throat, making him listen. “Ben, you’re not going to find any V here.” 

He frowns, momentarily distracted from lightly tugging at your skin and pleading for you to leave. “What the fuck are you talking about. Butcher said-“ 

“Butcher was wrong,” you shake your head. “I mean, he might have been right last week, maybe even this morning, but if there was V here it’s gone now.” 

“Why-“ 

“Sage said she was dealing with a Homelander mistake last week. She must have been talking about the lab, about how you were able to get in and poke around. And nobody’s seen her or Homelander or Ezekiel all day. Whatever V was left, they’ve gotten rid of it.” 

Ben scowls. “So we can just find more-“ 

“Sage won’t leave more.” You tap your fingers against Ben’s jaw, trying to focus and not think about how he’s stilled himself completely to let you talk yourself through this. “She won’t get rid of it, not all of it, it’s too valuable, but she’ll hide it. Any supplies that might be accessible to anyone that could be hypothetically compromised will be destroyed or relocated. She won’t tell anyone, won’t leave any records. It’ll be as good as gone.” 

Ben hums, and you see his question in the knit of his brows. Well how are we supposed to fucking get our hands on it? 

“I’m not sure,” you mutter, frowning. Scanning Ben’s face like you might find the answer in it, and not stopping when you don’t because you just want to look at him. “I’d bet on Homelander, he and Sage don’t really trust each other, not enough for him to let her just bulldoze any plans or intentions he might have with remaining V. But it’s not a safe bet, Homelander’s never a safe bet.” You feel something tight and bitter in his chest, and sigh. “I’m okay, Ben.” 

He rolls his eyes, still not moving under your hands. I didn’t fucking say shit. 

“Yeah, but you thought it.” 

What are you, a fucking mind reader? 

“With you?” You smile at him, and it’s so easy. Even when you’re talking about killing Homelander, it’s still easy to smile at Ben. “I might as well be.” 

Smartass. 

“Fuck you.” 

He grins. Not in public, Sunshine. 

You stick your tongue out at him. “Shut up. And we’ll just have to ask A-Train when he gets back.” You sigh. “I can’t think of anything else that might work.” 

Your fingers have stilled on Ben’s face—now just playing with the hair of his beard—and he takes it as a sign to speak. “A-Train?” 

“The fast one.” 

“Why the fuck are we waiting for him?” 

“He’s defecting,” you shrug. “He’s leaving with you today, you’re going to have to fake his death by the way-“ 

“Fucking Fast-Man is coming home, but not you?” Ben’s glaring at you, saying your name in a deep, annoyed voice. “I am not fucking trading you-“ 

“You’re not trading me, Benjamin.” You hold his glare. “I’ll come home soon, just not now. And A-Train is going to help you. He helped me.” 

“How the fuck has he helped you?” Ben grumbles. “He hasn’t gotten you out-“ 

“Nobody’s gotten me out, because I’m waiting. I have a plan-“

Ben scoffs, but that strange feeling in him pulses with warmth. “Of course you have a plan.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“You always have a damn plan, Sunshine.” He glowers at you. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you not have a fucking plan.” 

You narrow your eyes at him. “And how is that a bad thing?” 

“It’s not,” Ben mutters. “But I just fucking wish you would share your plans. With me. Let me goddamn help.” 

All the annoyance in you vaporizes in just how much you love him. How much you love Ben, how no matter what he’s there. He trusts you, he knows you, and he’s there for you all the time. He’ll groan and bitch about everything but he’ll still be there. He’ll try and fight your battles for you, roll his eyes and be a grump when you don’t let him, and stay at your side until you’ve won. He’ll be there to do what you need him to and then hold you like this—with so much rough care—even when he’s pissed. He won’t leave. He’ll never leave, not really. And you love him. 

“It has to play out naturally,” you say, gently. Smiling so that his scowl starts to waver. “If I tell you what to do it might not work as well. I’ll come home soon, you just have to let me do this my way. Please.” 

Ben lets out a long, labored sigh that makes his chest rumble, makes your whole body fall into his. “Fine. Fucking fine.” 

“Thank you.” 

He just grunts, and you pull his face back yours. Kiss him long and soft. Never looking for more, just trying to touch him. Just trying to have him while you can, before A-Train finds you and tells you this has to be over. You don’t ever want this to be over, you only want to kiss Ben like you have all the time in the world. Like every moment in this bathroom isn’t being borrowed and running out fast. 

You almost tell him. Right here, in a Believe Expo bathroom with Ben cupping your jaw and looking down at you with affection as his arm cages you to his chest, you almost say it. Ben. Ben, I love you. You’re going to have to let me stay here, but please know that I love you. Please, please wait for me and don’t hate me because I love you. I’m trying to make myself okay with keeping it together and leaving you to go home alone, but I’m so close to breaking. Please just tell me to damn the consequences, damn the world, and bring me home. Or to Rome, or to the farthest corner of the world, but with you. Please pick me up and take me with you because I love you and I can’t keep this up much longer. I’m okay, I’m really okay, but I’m so close to falling apart. I love you, fuck everything else because I love you and I want to go home. 

You’re crying again. They’re not singular, lonesome and tragic tears or shaking screams and sobs of hollow and empty. They’re small, wet gasps as you try to fight the words down. Try to stop yourself from ruining everything just because you can’t do this. You don’t want to do this. You don’t want Ben to go, and he has to go, but it’s going to be the most painful thing in the world. Even if you know you’ll be home soon. 

He mutters your name, deep and firm, and now you’re crying more. You love him. “What-“ 

You kiss him. You grab his shirt and yank him down and just kiss him. You can’t tell him you love him, not like this. Not when you can’t hold him all night and wake up next to him in the morning. Not now, when you have to stay here. But you’re going to tell him, you recognize that impossible to quell instinct of Ben. Ben, I love you, pushing up your throat and you only know one way to stop it. Ben, kissing him and touching him and turning those words into just sounds. Into moans and whines that he won’t understand. So you just pull Ben into you, and hope he’ll do the rest. 

He does. He’ll always do this for you. His hands will always find a firm, natural hold on your body and his mouth will always fit perfectly against yours. He’ll always fill with hunger and adoration, and give you everything he can until you’re—at least for now—whole again. He’ll always make all that noise, all that loud, angry pain in your head that’s trying to find a why, why is this so unfair that you have to stay here and Ben can’t stay with you, why won’t the world give you one thing, just one thing that you don’t have to rage to keep, and why does time have to keep moving when this day is going that have to end without Ben at your side, and he’ll make it go away. Ben will always make all the sounds and rushing thoughts in your head slow until it’s just him. Just Ben. Ben, I love you. He’ll make the whole world only Ben, rubbing circles on your skin and pulling you impossibly closer, pressing his tongue to your lips in a silent question, and taking everything you give him. 

You want to give him everything. Only opening your mouth for him to move deeper into you—to suck and bite and taste—and leaning into him so your hands are scraping at his neck, so his groans run through your body and down into you, isn’t enough. Making high, needy sounds that Ben swallows isn’t enough, grinding half against his torso and half onto the counter isn’t enough, because it doesn’t tell him. It doesn’t show him that you’ve missed him and you want him and need him and love him. Everything you can’t say, not now, you still need him to feel. He can’t feel you like you feel him, can’t understand without words how important he is to you. He can’t feel your love, not like you can feel that thing in him rumbling somewhere sacred in his chest. Bouncing off his ribcage and hungry and wanting for carnage. Wanting you, desperate for you in a bloody and wrathful way that tells you Ben cares. He might not love you, but he’s missed you. That even if he’s furious he’ll have to go without you, it's still about you. You and Ben together, right now, having each other. 

He has to have all of you. He has to have every part of you that you don’t need to see this through, so he can protect those instead. So he can keep some sort of knowledge that walking away from him—even if it’s temporary, which it is, because nothing is permanent except you and Ben so you will always find a way back to him—is impossible. It’s going to keep you up for many nights, haunt all your dreams until he’s there to hold you like this again. You have to, you can’t see another way out of this that doesn’t end in the world destroyed and Homelander the king of whatever remains, but it’s killing you. Ben needs to understand that this is killing you, that you’ve never wanted or loved anything like you need him. And the only way to show him is to give him all of you. 

“Ben,” you gasp against his mouth, and it drops to leave sloppy kisses down your jaw and neck. Letting you speak but not making it easy. Not when he’s pulling skin gently between his teeth and running his hand up your back. “Please.” 

“Please?” He hums, moving back up to look at you fully. Hands still kneading at your thigh and wrapping around your body. “What-“ 

“Fuck me.” You lean forward, trying to pull him back down. He can’t be away from you, not for a second, not now when he’s going to have to go so soon. “Please, fuck me.” 

His eyes widen, and even as the hunger roars inside him Ben frowns. “Here?” 

You nod desperately. “Please-“ 

“Sunshine,” his hold on you has become like iron, and you can feel the enormity of his want, feel his hardened cock pushing into your thigh, but he’s shaking his head. “I am not fucking you for the first time in a goddamn bathroom.” 

“Ben-“ 

“I said I wanted to take time,” Ben leaned down, holding your gaze. His eyes are darkened, and you can feel him. Everywhere you can feel Ben, in your body and around you and running between your bodies where the boundary of Ben or you doesn’t matter anymore. “And I fucking meant it. I am not fucking you when I can’t take a goddamn week off to do it, when there’s not even a fucking bed.” 

“Please, I just want-“ 

“I know what you want,” he growls your name, and you whine. “And fucking believe me, I want it as well. The only thing I want more than to fuck you stupid is to bring you the hell home. But,” he shakes his head, and presses a kiss to your brow, grunting the words against your skin. “You’re a stubborn fucking brat who doesn’t listen, so I’m not taking you home. And there’s not a fucking chance in hell I’m fucking you for the first time in a bathroom at a fucking Christ Convention.” 

You sigh, falling further into him. He’s right, which is annoying because he’s always so smug about when he’s right, but he’s right. Ben can’t fuck you, not here, not now. You can’t tell him you love him, you can’t go home with him, but you also can’t fucking him at the Christ Convention. 

Ben pulls back, watching you with silent eyes that are trying to dissect you. You love when he watches you like this, like he can see you, and you hope he never stops. You hope when you close your eyes tonight, alone in a cold room, you’ll still have the image of him watching you. 

You offer him a small smile. “How are you enjoying the Christ Convention?” 

“It’s fucking stupid,” he mutters. “Dumbest shit I’ve ever seen. Bunch of high and mighty pussies who think they know everything. Butcher said they do this every year,” he shakes his head like that’s an impossible thought. “Wouldn’t have fucking let that slide in my day.” 

You hum. “I mean, evangelical Christianity was definitely a thing in the 80s. And 70s. And 60s. Mass media just inflates connection and audience.” 

Ben rolls his eyes. “Every year is still goddamn insane. The man has been dead for thousands of goddamn years, there’s nothing fucking new to say.” 

You laugh, burying your head in his shoulder. His arms hold you there, safe and comfortable against him, and it takes a lot out of you not to cry again. To just mumble against his skin, “I see you haven’t killed Butcher yet.” 

“Yet.” He grunts. “Fucking asshole’s on goddamn thin ice. Borrowed time.” 

You smile. “Well, I’m proud of you anyway.” 

His arms tense around you, and that thing glows. Somewhere in that carefully tended and protected part of Ben where it lives, it starts to feel ardent and light. He doesn’t say anything, just pulls you closer, but you feel it. Glowing inside him. 

“Has anything changed,” you don’t move from speaking against him, because Ben will hear you anywhere. “Since I’ve been…” 

You can’t finish that sentence. You can’t say that word. And Ben knows, because he doesn’t make you. “No.” 

“Nothing?” 

“We haven’t exactly been fucking team building and circle jerking, Sunshine,” he drawls, and you still smile. You missed him. “We’ve got goddamn jobs to do.” 

“And you haven’t killed anyone? Even when they’re being idiot pussies?” 

He snorts. “They’ve managed not to deserve it yet.” 

“Deserve it?” 

“They’re listening to you.” 

You lean back, and frown at him. “To me?” 

“When you tell us to trust you,” he grunts. “When you go on TV.” 

Something you hadn’t fully realized was there loosens around your throat. “You’ve seen me? You’ve gotten it?” 

“Of course I’ve fucking seen you,” Ben mutters, and his glare is more indigent than anything else. “Green for me to listen. To make sure I know you’re still fucking you.” 

You smile, and it’s all teeth and a little bit of joy. He’s seen you, and he’s been paying attention, and he understands. “Good.” 

Ben rolls his eyes. “You don’t have to do green, I’ll listen no matter fucking what.” 

“It’s a signal-“ 

“I don’t need a fucking signal to know you’re okay,” he snaps your name. “I can see it on your face. When your little fucking act drops and you look like you. I need to know when you’re not okay. When I have to come get you.” 

“Ben-“ 

“I won’t,” he holds your eyes, voice firm. “I won’t come get you until you say. I’ll go along with your stupid fucking secret plan, but I need a way to know if you need me. If it’s gone to shit and you need me.”

You sigh. He needs this. Ben is doing the impossible thing you’re asking of him and only demanding one thing in return. You couldn’t say no if you wanted to. “Blue.” You squeeze his bicep, and give him another smile. “If I need you, which I won’t,” Ben glares at you, but you keep going. “I’ll wear blue. And you can come get me.” 

You’ll never wear blue again. If Ashley or Sage or Homelander try to put you in blue, you’ll spill food or coffee all over the outfit or just fucking burn it. But—likely even when you go home—you’ll never wear blue again. You’ll never wear blue or smell coconut without throwing up, you won’t drink a milkshake for a long time, and you’ll hate the winter forever. You’ll have to stay where it’s warm, you’ll have to keep Ben with you so he can block chilling winds and hold you against him like this. In a way that makes everything hot, makes your blood rush in a way that’s just you and him together. You’ll do anything to keep Ben with you when this is over. You’ll offer him this comfort that there’s a signal to tell him you need him—even if you’ll always need him, regardless of Homelander or Vought or any plan or mission—and whatever else he asks for so he’ll wait for you and hold you when you return. 

“Blue,” he repeats, nodding slowly. “Swear it.” 

“Promise.” You search his eyes, and try not to cry when you can see just how tired he is. “Thank you.” 

“Don’t-“ 

“Benjamin.” You shake your head, and lean back into him. “Thank you. Thank you for everything.” 

“I haven’t done a fucking thing-“ 

“You’re here.” You whisper. “You’re going to let me do what I need to do, and you’re waiting. That’s all you have to do, but it still fucking sucks, so thank you.” I love you. 

Ben scoffs. “I thought I didn’t let you do anything.” 

You huff a soft, sad laugh. “But I’m going to thank you anyway.” You look back up at him and smile. Wide and bittersweet, but still real. This is still real. “Thank you.” 

He watches you for a second, and that thing in him is glowing again. Glowing and burning. Hungry. 

Then he’s on his knees. Ben’s hands move to hold your thighs, and he falls to his knees between your legs, smirking up at you. Eyes still tired and body still washed in distant pain, but the hunger overtaking all of it. The devotion is spreading over all of him, climbing into you. 

“Ben-“ 

“I am not fucking you here,” he winks up at you, and you don’t think your heart is working anymore. It’s gone into overdrive and it’s going to explode. “But I can still make you feel fucking good.” 

Your eyes widen, and you feel heat rush into your face. You feel heat rush everywhere. “Okay.” 

“Say it,” he grunts, and you know what he wants. You always know what he wants. 

“Please,” you grab his face, running your fingers back into his hair. “Please, Ben.” 

“More.” 

“I want you,” you whisper, not trusting your voice to stay stable otherwise. Not when one of Ben’s hands is drawing closer to your center, hovering right over your underwear. “Ben, I want you, please-“ 

His thumb presses right over your clit, and your words turn into a long moan. “All you fucking have to do is ask, beautiful.” He grins up at you. “Say my name and ask.” 

“Ben-“ 

“Whole thing.” 

“Benjamin, please-“ 

He stands up, crashing his mouth against yours as his hand moves under your panties, teasing you gently. Rubbing his thumb lightly while he slides his fingers between you, but never in. Groaning into your mouth when he feels how wet you’ve become, how much you want him.

“Fucking needy, Sunshine.” He mutters, pulling his hand away, taking your underwear with him and dropping it on the floor. “So fucking needy.” 

You only moan, trying to grind into him enough that he’ll just come back, and he pulls his mouth away, grinning down at you. He looks so handsome, with dark eyes and full lips that were just on you and why can’t he just come back- 

His fingers—the ones that had just been touching you—raise into his mouth, and you almost fall off the counter. Almost jump him when he makes a low, satisfied sound and watches you with a cocky smirk. How you’re wrecked and he’s not even touching you anymore. 

“Please-“ 

He pulls his fingers out his mouth and grabs your face, yanking it up to him. His hand in your hair, your taste is in his mouth, his body so strong and warm and Ben and he’s everything- 

“Fucking good,” he mutters against your lips, and you whimper. “You’re so fucking good.” He says your name, and you think you might just cum from that. The impossibly good sound of your name from Ben’s mouth, in his deep and powerful voice. 

“Ben,” your words are just breath, but you know he understands, because he grunts and his hands that’s moved under your thigh squeezes you. “Please. More, please-“ 

He’s gone again, moving you back down to the counter and returning to his knees. You almost whine again, almost make a desperate sound that was probably supposed to be come back, but then he’s everywhere. His hands hook under your knees, and he tugs you forwards. Right into his mouth. 

He’s done this once. It made you scream his name and see stars, but this is better. He’s learning, you realize, because he’s already doing everything he needs to do to bring you up to the edge. After just one time he’d somehow memorized every single thing that made you melt, and now he’s on a mission. 

He moves one hand to knead and bruise your thigh around him, while using the other to brace against your abdomen, keeping you still as he works. 

His tongue is there first. Licking you once until he brushes your clit, flicking it once, feeling your thighs tighten around him, and chuckling as he does it again. 

“You fucking like that?” He mutters, and you just moan and try to roll your hips against his face. 

He laughs and does it again, lighter this time, so feather like and teasing you until you whine. Until it’s too much and you’re aching before he flattens his tongue against you and hums, running it down, up, down, and into you. Ben pushing his tongue into you, and starts to fuck you with him mouth. 

His teeth are brushing against you when he pushes in, letting out a growl when you clench around him that makes his nose bump your clit. You make a strangled sound and he finds a rhythm. His tongue doesn’t stop moving, twisting and fucking you as he squeezes the skin of your thigh, then rises for just enough to nip at your clit and sooth it with a kiss before dropping back down. 

Ben won’t let you cum. He knows exactly when that line is and he’s taunting you with it, grunting into you as you start to shake above him, as you tug at his hair or moan his name. He goes faster, eating you like he’s been starved until you start to tremble, and then he slows down, running his tongue between your pussy and clit, never fully touching either. Starting it all over the moment your breathing becomes steady. 

“Ben,” you whisper, and he looks up at you with so much devotion and affection it almost makes you fall apart just from him. From how relaxed he looks, between your legs. How his eyes are hungry and lustful and full of light. For you. “Please.” 

He hums against you, and you shiver as the sound runs up your spine. “More?” 

“Please.” 

“You want me?” 

“I need you.” 

He smirks up at you. “You need me, Sunshine? Need me to make you fucking cum?” 

“Yes,” you breathe out as his hand moves from your thigh, tracing circles around you and over you but never pushing in. “Ben, please. I need you, please-“ 

Two broad, rough fingers push into you and your words dissolve into a moan. Ben pumps them once, and once more when you squeeze around him. “Like that? You fucking need me to do that?” 

“Ben-“ 

“So fucking tight,” he mutters, gaze dropping down to watch you clench around him when he moves again. “You’re so fucking tight, beautiful, it’s gonna fucking kill me.” 

You can’t speak anymore, not when he moves in and out again, and again, and again. Setting a brutal, demanding pace that has you unable to think outside of Ben. Rough, strong fingers inside of you that are Ben’s and making you feel so good. 

“No smart words from that pretty fucking mouth?” he hums your name, and you whine. 

“Ben-“ 

“There’s one.” He winks at you, and you melt further into him. Try to use your leg to pull him closer. “Let’s see if we can make you scream it.” 

He drops back down and bites your clit. It’s gentle and light, but Ben bites you and you have to move a hand to cover your mouth so you don’t scream his name. You’re trying to grind onto his face, his fingering still fucking you without relent or relief, and you need him to keep going. To bite you or lick you or do something to bring you over the edge. But his arm is keeping you so torturously still, you can only grip his hair and throw your head back as he goes and goes and goes and you’re full of him. He’s in you and on you, his tongue tracing taunting circles around your clit, and it’s all Ben. 

Then he kisses you. He leaves one, painfully soft kiss against your clit as his fingers still deep inside you, and you’re so close. 

“Ben-“ 

You feel him grin against you, and he crooks his fingers in you against that one spot as he pulls your clit into his mouth. He sucks on it and groans, and that’s it. Everything is Ben, flicking his tongue against you with a growl and scissoring his fingers to give friction inside you, and you have to bite your hand as you cum. As everything grows loose and good, the whole world becomes both so big and wide but it’s still just Ben. It’s still just Ben in all the warmth and pleasure, making you feel like you’re made of stardust and more important than the sun as he keeps going through your orgasm until you’re shaking. Until you’re trying to pull him back up because you need to see him. You need him to kiss you again because you love him, and this is going to be over so soon and you just need to see him. Show Ben that he’s done this, that every part of you is his and nothing else has ever mattered like this matters. 

You almost damn it. He’s pulled you apart and put you back together, still going, and now you have to tell him. Ben has to know, he has to know you love him. It’s so impossibly crucial that Ben understands you love him. You say it, you say Ben, I love you, but he’s done his job too well and all that comes out is a breathless, wanting sound. Every part of your body, of your mind and soul tries to say it as well. Ben. Ben, I love you. Ben, I love you. Please understand, please try and feel how much I love you and tell me you understand. But he's still going, even as your thighs start to crush his head, and all you get is a roar. That thing inside him roars, and moves to fully rest in you. You don’t understand it, you’re not even sure Ben understands it, but it’s sitting in you now just as much as him, and it’s the most natural thing you’ve ever felt. It hums when you repeat the words in your head, when you think Ben. Ben, I love you, and pray he’ll somehow hear it, somehow see it on your face when he’s still between your legs. He doesn’t, but that thing always makes another low, happy sound and that can be enough. Everything is light and high, and this strange thing that lives in Ben but feels like it’s yours can be enough. 

Ben, after what might have been a thousand years, stands up. He’s staring at you—still slightly shaking and flushed, words still a little far away—and the look in his eyes is reverent. His face is covered in you and his beard is wet but he’s not moving to wipe it away. He just kisses you, one last long time, and mutters your name against your lips. 

“You’re perfect,” his voice is low and wanting, and you shutter against him. Feel his hard cock twitch against you. “You’re so fucking perfect.” 

In the grand scheme of things, it’s probably a good thing A-Train finds you when he does. Because if you’d been left alone with Ben for about three more seconds the part of you that’s been begging you to just go, go home with Ben and the rest of the world can figure out how to deal with this themselves, just tell Ben you love him and go, would’ve won. 

That doesn’t mean you can’t be annoyed when the room is rushed with cold air and A-Train slams the door behind him. 

Ben’s faster than you—in all fairness he didn’t just have an earth-shattering orgasm and you’re at a disadvantage—and turns to block your body from view, roaring at A-Train. 

“What the fucking hell-“ 

“Calm down, asshole.” Peaking over Ben’s shoulder you can see that A-Train’s facing the wall, back to you both. “This isn’t something I want to see. I’m just doing my job.” 

“Get fuck out-“ 

You reach around Ben’s head and cover his mouth with a hand, staying behind him as you lean over his body to address A-Train. “Are we ready?” 

A-Train nods. “Ezekiel’s waiting for me, I told him I’d find where your team is then come get him.” 

“Okay,” you sigh, trying to focus on running through your mental checklist when you can still feel Ben, when your legs have wrapped themselves around his torso. “I’ll burn out your tracker, and we’ll get going.”

Ben licks your hand, and it surprises you enough to pull back. 

“Benjamin, what the hell-“ 

“Does anyone want to fucking tell me what’s going on?” He snaps, glaring at you over his shoulder. “Or am I supposed to just goddamn stay in the dark?” 

“I did tell you,” you kick his thigh slightly. “A-Train’s defecting, you’re going to kill him-“ 

“Don’t actually kill me,” A-Train cuts in, still facing away from you. “I’m not doing this if this dick is going to actually kill me.” 

“He’s knows that-“ 

Ben shrugs. “I don’t know shit.” 

You pinch him, shooting him a flat look. You’re being unhelpful. Shut up and get me decent. 

He rolls his eyes, and ducks down to pick your discarded underwear off the floor. You keep speaking as he helps you into them, allowing yourself to sit slightly in the feeling of him touching you, hands running up your legs and arms holding you still. 

“They won’t kill you, A-Train. Ben, promise you won’t kill him.” 

“Whatever.” 

“Benjamin.” 

“Fine, I won’t fucking kill him.” 

You glare at him. “Promise.” 

“I swear I won’t kill him.” He glares at you, drawing back up to his full height. “Happy?” 

You smile at him. “Very.” And it’s not even a lie. “A-Train, you can look.” 

Ben steps to the side—you have to shove him slightly, but he does—and A-Train turns around slowly. 

“My tracker?” 

You nod, pushing off the counter and crossing the bathroom. “This might take a second.” 

Ben follows you, standing behind you silently as you raise your hand over A-Train’s extended arm and close your eyes. This will work, this has to work. Ben’s right here, and he’s warm, and right now you’re not afraid, so this will work. 

It takes a few minutes of slow breathing and focus, but you drag just enough up fire. You can do this. 

You glance at A-Train once. “This might really hurt.” 

“Just do it-“ 

The flame forms in the palm of your hand and your eyes narrow. Concentrating it into something like a needle and pushing it into A-Train’s arm. He flinches, face twisting, but doesn’t pull away as you work. Smoke fills the room, all three of you watching the beam of fire twist and scorch A-Train’s skin, burning it with the tracker. Ben’s shoulder nudges yours and you pause, looking up at him. 

“What?” 

“It’s gone,” he grunts. “I heard it, it’s fried.” 

A-Train frowns. “You sure?”

“Fucking positive.” 

“Then,” A-Train looks back at you. “We’re good?” 

You glance at Ben, who gives you a tight nod. “I guess.” 

A-Train looks between you and Ben again, but rests his arm back at his side. “Is he going to tell your team-“ 

“I’ve got it fucking handled,” Ben snaps. “Pretend to kill you, bring you back. Find another way to get V.” 

“V?” 

Your eyes widen. You’d almost forgotten. “Fuck, wait. A-Train where did you find Ezekiel?” 

“He was backstage,” he shrugs. “Most of that time was spent convincing him, he’s annoying as hell-” He frowns at you, cutting himself off. “Why?” 

“We need some V,” you sigh. “But if he was backstage that means they finished cleaning up. There won’t be any left, not here.” 

“Why do you need V?” A-Train shakes his head. “That shit is horrible for you, it almost fucking killed me-“ 

“It knocks Homelander out. We need it to kill him.” You look at Ben, and find him watching you carefully. “You’re going to need to tell Butcher what I told you. You’re not going to find V any way you might have before.” 

Ben scowls. “Well then how the fuck-“ 

“Homelander,” you swallow down the lump and bile in your throat. “He’s the only bet we have. He had to have kept some-“ 

“He keeps some in his apartment,” A-Train interjects, and you turn to see him frowning at you, hands on his hips. “I saw it, even took some for Hughie. It’s in a box.” 

“I’ve never seen it-“ 

“He might have moved it when you arrived,” A-Train shrugs. “But he has some.” 

You nod, chewing on your tongue, and feel Ben’s arms wrap around you. Pulling you back into his chest.

“You don’t have to fucking get it.” He mutters. “We’ll find another way-“ 

You sigh, and tilt your head back to look up at him. “There’s not always another way, Ben. We have to get through this, not around it.” 

He glares at you. Come home. Just fucking come home. 

I can’t. You stand on your toes, leaning further into him, and give him a gentle smile. You have to go, and I can’t come with you. 

His body tenses around you, and he makes a deep, pained sound from his chest. I fucking hate this. This is fucking stupid and I fucking hate it. 

I know. You squeeze his arm around you and force yourself not to cry. You can’t cry now, because you won’t stop and this will never work. I know you do. But I’ll see you again. Soon. 

Fucking swear it. Swear you’ll come home. 

I promise. 

He nods, and turns you around. Kisses you again, and you know this is the last one for a while. He’s not pushing into you or trying to get more, he’s just trying to memorize you and you’re doing the same to him. You already knew all of Ben—and he knows all of you—but you need to have it leave a mark that you can carry when he goes. You need to still remember in a week, still feel how his muscles move around you like he’s still holding you, have his taste remain on your tongue when he’s not there pushing it into you, smell pine and gunpowder and Ben over the coconut. You’ll certainly have how he sounds—you’ll never lose how Ben sounds because his phantom will stay with you—but you want all of it. You need all of it if you’re going to keep going. 

A-Train coughs, and Ben pulls away with one last, gentle movement. 

“We have to get moving,” when you turn, A-Train isn’t looking at you, but frowning at Ben. “Homelander will be back real soon, for his speech.” 

Homelander’s speech. Your speech. You have to go do your speech. “Okay.” 

You have to force every step as you pull away from Ben’s body. He doesn’t let you go, not fully, allowing you to turn before dropping his head down to yours. 

“Come home.” It’s final. He’s still asking, even when he knows the answer, one final time.

“Soon,” you whisper. “You’re not losing me, Ben. You just have to wait for me.” 

“I’ll always fucking wait for you.” He grunts, and your heart isn’t going to recover from this. Not for a long time. “I’ll wait a million goddamn years, as long as you always fucking come home.” 

“Always.” You mumble, and he nods. “Thank you.” 

“You burn, I burn,” his breath fans against your face, and you can feel that thing in him start to riot. Claw up your lungs—Ben’s lungs—and throat. Furious and loud. 

So you just make a small, sad sound because you’re out of tears and sobs and sighs and smiles. “You burn, I burn.” You look up, and meet his eyes. “Can you do me a favor, Ben?” 

He just grunts, and you know he understands. You’re not asking, you’re cashing one of your last favors in. But it’s not for you. 

“Don’t be a dick to Ryan, please.” 

Ben blinks at you. “What?” 

“Ryan Butcher.” You watch him carefully. “Don’t be an ass to him. He’s just a kid.” 

“I haven’t been a fucking ass-“ 

“Yes, you have.” You trace a hand along his beard, resting it at the base of his neck. “I know you, Ben. You might not be being an ass on purpose, but you’re blaming him for this. He’s just a kid, it’s not his fault. None of this is his fault.” 

“You’re only here-“ 

“Because of Homelander,” you shake your head against his. “Not because you lost me, or failed me. Not because of Ryan or even Butcher. Because of Homelander. So please, just be kind to Ryan. For me.” 

He stands up, and holds you against him for one last moment. “Fine.” He pauses and kisses the top of your head, speaking the last words against you in a way that rolls through your body. “For you.” 

“I’ll see you soon,” you whisper into his chest, your words right over his heart. Right over where you can still feel that thing tearing Ben apart. You hope he’ll carry them until you’re home and can tell that thing to rest. 

Ben nods. “Soon.” 

A-Train’s been waiting, and you’re thankful for how he doesn’t say anything. How he lets Ben and you peel yourselves apart, lets Ben pick up his cap, gives you one last curt nod, and doesn’t comment on how you love Ben, or make you say any more promises. You only have room for two promises now, because they’re the most important ones you’ll ever make. Kill Homelander. Go home. You only have in it you to nod back, and try not to fall to the floor and scream when Ben gives you one last look and a kiss on the crease of your brow. When he walks out the door—like you’d told him to—and you have to watch him go. When A-Train leaves as well, and you trust both of them to do what you need them to, but it still shatters you. You’d had him. He was real and warm and here and you’d had him. There wasn’t a world where you kept him—not today—but this is still the most painful thing you’ve ever done. 

He’s lingering. You’re finding your way back to the stage and Ben’s likely still across the venue, but he’s still in you. That impossible to understand thing is still in you where it had been in Ben, and it’s not fading. It’s setting itself into you, and making you feel Ben even when you pull off your disguise and try to fix your makeup and smooth your hair in a backstage mirror. It’s making it hard to acknowledge that doing that—staying there with him for so long and letting him touch you like you’d needed—wasn’t smart, because this is all you’ll have for a while. At least until you revise your plan, until you figure out a way to get your team the V they need. As much as it hurts, you’re praying that this thing stays with you until you’re back in Ben’s arms. It might be the only way you get through this. 

Ashley finds you minutes later, her hair a mess and a wild, panicked look in her eyes. “Where the fuck did you go?!” 

“I was in the bathroom-“ 

“The bathroom?!” She shakes her head frantically. “For almost a fucking hour?!” 

You shrug, looking around nervously. No Homelander. No Sage. “I can’t control my period-“ 

“You know what?” Ashley raises a hand sharply. “I don’t fucking care. You’re on now, move.” 

Your mouth falls open, and the cold starts to creep back in. “Now? But I’m not until-“ 

“A-Train and Ezekiel are fucking missing, and Sage still hasn’t shown up after being a controlling bitch about this all week, so you’re on now.” You’re frozen in place, and Ashley looks up at you with glare. “Now! Fucking go!”

She almost moves to push you, but flinches back at the last second. Your feet start to carry you forwards, moving mechanically through the steps Ashley had drilled into you this morning. A man mics you, and you can barely feel his anxiety over the cold. It’s getting cold again, and the only thing keeping your legs steady beneath you, keeping you upright, is the way that Ben is still there. How you can feel that odd thing from him ingrained in you even when he’s gone, how it’s him. Everything about it is Ben, and it’s making a home inside of you and keeping your mind from clouding with cold. Fogged up cold. 

The man finishes his job, adjusting the mic a little further from your mouth. A woman checks your hair and makeup, and another points out all your marks and the teleprompter as Deep wraps up with large gestures and over-exaggerated laughs. The first woman smooths down your costume once and gives a thumbs up, the second shoves you forward with a clipboard, and suddenly you’re there. On the stage, walking to a red x and being blinded by stage lights that turn the crowd into murmuring shadows.

Words fall out of your mouth like vomit. You sound robotic. You feel robotic. You’re speaking and your voice isn’t yours, you’re smiling and it’s wrong on your face, and your hands are locked behind your back so your nails can tap and dig into your skin. 

“From when I was young, I’ve loved Homelander. Even when we were children, sharing secret moments in the fields behind my parent’s house, I loved him. I loved him enough to follow him to the city before he knew how I felt, before I knew he loved me. I loved him when he made his first save, and he told me how happy it made him.” Swallow the bile, read the words on the prompter. The boring, mechanical, words about love that aren’t yours. Aren’t about your love. “I loved him when he came to me with roses and told me he loved me, asked me to be his one and only. I loved him when he let me stay on the sidelines, when he was forced into PR relationships to keep me safe. I love him now, as America’s greatest hero and my savior.” Don’t break. “I love Homelander because he completes me. I see us in every great romance in history. He is the thing that gets me up in the morning. He makes me happy, and I want to start a family with him. Lead the best life we can together. I’m excited to lead a great life with Homelander, for our love story-“ 

Your words are cut off by a rush of air and shaking of the stage as Homelander lands at your side. Grinning and waving, placing a hand on your lower back as his voice echoes over the venue. 

“Oh, just pretend you can’t see me!” The crowd grows louder with applause, and he laughs. “I’m here to listen to Anomaly, same as all of you! I just have the best seat!” He pulls you off your mark, closer to the front of the stage. “She’s doing so well, isn’t she?” 

He grins at you as the crowd’s noise begins to drown out your own thoughts, and you make yourself smile back. The nerves are real, but you force the comfort onto your face. Make yourself stay on your feet. There’s no other option but staying on your feet and smiling at Homelander like his hand on your own body doesn’t fill you with dread and agony and cold. Pretend you don’t know what’s coming, that you’re going to finish and Homelander will kiss you and you’ll have to not scream or push him away. You’re sweating and the air is humid from the lingering mist of the morning, but you’re so cold. 

“Alright, let’s settle down!” Homelander dismisses the crowd with a hand, and the last few whoops and claps die off. “Keep going, honey, everyone’s listening.” 

You swallow. No way out. “I’m excited to lead a great life with Homelander, for our love story to be remembered as one from a fairytale. Because he is my prince, my white knight who saved me from the dark. Homelander, you're my soulmate, and I love you. I am deeply in love with you, and there will never be another-“ 

Something bangs in the distance, and the part of Ben that’s still in you begins to pound. Drums. Echoes of drums in your chest that fall into time with a spark of lights and another bang. Gunshots. Those are gunshots and the overhead lights are sparking.

Homelander’s hand tenses on your back. “Keep calm, folks! I’m sure it’s just a truck! I’ll go myself and make sure they get that faulty engine fixed. Please, let my lovely girlfriend finish the speech she’s been working so hard on.” He leans down to hiss in your ear, face turned from the crowd. “Keep going until I get back. Don’t stop fucking talking.” 

He’s gone, and another gunshot fires. Ben. Ben might be in danger, Homelander’s going and Ben is strong but they don’t have the V, and Sage hasn’t been seen all day. The gas- 

Ashley’s gesturing at you off to the side. Keep going. 

You have to keep going. There’s nothing you can do but try and cling to that thing in you—rumbling and bloody—that tells you Ben is still awake. Try and raise your voice over the gunshots that mean he’s still fighting. 

“There will never be another man for me. And that’s why-“ The prompter glitches and sparks out, and a flash of light clears the sky in the distance. Then there’s another gunshot, and a whoosh of air, and you have to keep going. You can still feel Ben, so you have to keep going. There are no words left for you to say, you didn’t memorize the speech and can’t remember where it went after the that’s why line. You have to find your own word. You have to just keep going. 

“That’s why I want to share what it’s like to love him.” You take a heavy breath, and hold onto that piece of Ben in you like it’s a lifeline. “Why he’s everything to me.” 

The venue lights flash again, and the phones start to spark out and fry with the cameras. You’re okay with that. This isn’t for the world to remember or see, this is for you to keep talking and find a way to keep going. 

“He’s good,” you smile into the flickering darkness. “He’s just so good. It’s hard, but he’s still good. His smile is the best one you’ll ever see, and his laugh is the only thing you’ll ever need to hear. If you could see him happy like I do, you’d never want to see anything else. And I, I get to do so many things I’ve always wanted to do with him. I get to talk to him and feel heard and to cook with him and share things I enjoy, and he touches me like I’m the only one he’s ever wanted to touch. Ever needed to touch. Ever needed. I get to feel half as wanted as I want him, and I want him. I want all of him.” You can’t stop. Your heart is breaking and gluing itself together every other second, but you can’t stop. “I want the parts you get to see and the parts that get to be mine. I want to laugh at him and with him and see him smile. See a smile that gets to be mine, and keep watching him try. Try to keep me when everything is horrible, and I want to stay with him, I want to stay with him-“ Your words are becoming choked, and you’re pleading to no one. Begging into a silent crowd of people who don’t understand and a night that doesn’t care. Keep going. “I, I want to watch him be better, never stop trying to be better, just be better and be good. Be good to me, he’s so good to me, even, even when it’s hard and I have to miss him and I-“

The whole word explodes. The drums are still rattling around your head as the night is illuminated from a cloud of fire and ash exploding across the night. You almost run to it, run to him, but people are grabbing you and pulling you off stage. You can’t fight, you're frozen, kept from shattering only by the hum of Ben still carved into you. Like an imprint, like a scar you wouldn’t want to heal if you could because it’s telling you he’s awake.

They lock you away. Someone shoves you into the trailer and you hear the door click, but you don’t bother to even try the handle. You couldn’t move if you wanted, couldn’t run if you tried. You’re cracking. Not breaking—not while that thing of Ben’s still shifts inside you and tells you he’s okay—but cracking. Growing weaker, the fire going dormant once more, because you’d let it get away from you. That speech won’t see the morning, nobody had gotten the part that was just you on footage, but people will talk. Sage will hear, Homelander will hear, and the former will know that you weren’t talking from nothing. She’ll see that hand you’d accidentally shown, that last piece she’d been looking for. The only thing that will save you is the latter believing you were speaking of him. That it’s Homelander you need and want and think is good. You’ve never laughed with Homelander, never seen him be better—only worse—and never, ever missed him, but he’ll still think you were talking about him. 

You miss Ben. You’re sobbing on the floor, cracks appearing in your mask because it’s all too much, and you just miss Ben. You’ll get through this. You can feel that echo of Ben still in your chest even as the noise outside dies down, and you know you’ll get through this, but you’ll miss Ben. More than before, which you didn’t think was possible. You’ll miss him more because he’s waiting, and you know home is closer in time but far in effort. Anything goes wrong and home goes away forever. There’s a way to kill Homelander, a way to get Ben the shot to kill Homelander, but this has to go right. You have to do this clever, however you need to, and with no hesitation, because then you can go home and Ben will be waiting. You’ll kill Homelander, and hold each other until this doesn’t feel like pain anymore. Only another shadow in the corner, another skeleton you bury and grow flowers from. 

Ben will be waiting. You’ll pull yourself up and tape every single piece of your mind together to drag yourself home to Ben, and he’ll pick you up. Ben will wait, and he’ll make this better. 

You’ll love him when you touch him again, and forever after that. You’ll love him when he makes this better and you remind him he’ll never fail you. When you get to stay and you never have to break again. Until then you’ll love him here as well. You’ll keep this piece of Ben in you, and worship in the hopes he feels it. 

You hope he feels your love. Even if he doesn’t love you, you still hope Ben gets to feel your love like you feel his strange thing inside of you. Gets to know it’s yours, for him, and feel how easy and natural it is to love him. How he didn’t fail you, could never fail you, because you love him like this. 

You love him until the night is silent. Until it’s just the dark and spreading warmth. Until your tears are dry and you can just feel you and him. You love Ben like there’s nothing else to love in the world, because there’s not. 

No love is worth this holy and infinite one that you have for Ben. No love is worth rage and desolation like this one is. No one is worth what Ben is. 

And he’ll wait for you. You’ll go back to him. You’ll find a way home. 

You’ll always find your way back to Ben.

——————

Ben couldn’t let himself think about it. Not now, not when he was still fucking clean up the mess he and the team had made. Not when the Pussy Mobile had come to a screeching, rattling halt right before Butcher could park it, and Ben was honestly surprised they’d made it the whole damn drive back. The hunk of shit probably should’ve broken down the moment Butcher had floored it and they’d torn away as Homelander dealt with their diversion. Ezekiel’s body strung up across tents—Ben having pulled him apart with hands and hatred—Annie playing haunted house with all the lights, and a bomb of the French Prick’s going off when Homelander destroyed the guns MM had rigged to keep firing. 

He couldn’t think about how’d almost fucking lost it. How they’d been driving away and Ben had been forced to shove the drums down, try to control them and keep the bomb in his chest from destroying the van and the team when the Thing was roaring at him. When the night had exploded and it had shaken the van, making Ben have to just stare and floor and try not to get lost in how much this fucking hurt. He’d done it, he’d done exactly as She’d asked. A-Train was “dead”—Homelander even the last person to see him before Frenchie’s bomb supposedly blew him to bits, which had been Hughie’s idea and didn’t end up being total fucking shit—and they knew they had to wait for V. They knew that had to wait for Her to get them some or find it somewhere else. Every selfish part of Ben wanted Her to get it, because that meant she’d have to give it them. She’d have to come home to give them the V, and this wouldn’t fucking hurt anymore. 

He’d find a way to get Her to stay this time, and this would never be painful again. He’d kill Homelander and she’d get to smile at him somewhere in Rome forever. He’d hear Her cry about normal, stupid fucking things and she’d tease him and tell him what to do, and he’d just kiss Her until this didn’t fucking hurt anymore. Because he’d done it, he’d done the job, and he’d never hated himself more. 

They were circled up in the dining hall. It was past midnight, but this was a lot more fucking important. They had A-Train, and maybe the fucker could help them. Get Her closer to coming home. Sleep didn’t matter, not when Ben had to fucking bring Her home. 

Ben’s at the head of the table. He can’t sit, can’t rest, he can’t stop fucking moving, not for a second. Not when it will be nothing but fucking pain and images of Her in his head. Fresh, like open wounds that won’t just fucking heal. 

So Ben stood, rigid at the head of the table, his fists curling and uncurling. Butcher at his side—the man’s glare almost as violent as Ben’s—as A-Train’s bouncing knee shook the table. Hughie and Annie had gone to bed with small nods—nobody had stopped them—but MM was frowning at A-Train from his seat across the table, and Kimiko and the French Prick were watching the tight silence with nervous expressions. 

“Are any of you going to talk, or just keep fucking staring at me?” 

Ben’s jaw clenched at the fucking sneer in A-Train’s voice. The fucking annoyance, as if Ben hadn’t just fucking given everything, given the whole fucking world, to save his fast, worthless, pussy ass. She’d told him to, and he had, but it should be Her at the table. In Ben’s arms. Not this fucking piece of shit She’d been so goddamn certain could help. 

He could only say half of that. A-Train needed to understand what had been lost to get him here. He had no fucking right to know more about Her. 

Ben leaned across the table, not bother to hide the fucking fury in his voice. “You’re the one who needs to start fucking talking.” 

“About what?” A-Train snapped. “I’m here, you know why I’m here, what else am I supposed to do?” 

“Make this fucking worth it!” Ben roared Her name. “Said you’d help. Fucking help!” 

“How? How am I supposed to help?” 

Butcher cut in right before Ben could rip A-Train’s head off. “Our mutual friend seemed to be bloody certain you’d have somethin for us. MM here seems to think we can trust you. And I’d fuckin wager you’ve got some real nasty shit on Homelander and Vought.” 

“Yeah, but-“ 

“Man, just listen,” MM muttered. “Those two motherfuckers get off on vengeance, and you’re not doing yourself any favors by poking at them.” 

Butcher scowled at MM, and Ben just keeps fucking pushing. She’d said A-Train could help, and she was never fucking wrong, so the pussy better start fucking helping until Ben started finding more creative ways to figure out what she’d meant. 

Don’t kill A-Train, Ben. Her voice hummed in his head. Or at least do it outside. People eat here. 

“What was she planning,” Ben grunted, trying to speak firm and steady over the pain. “She told me she was planning something. What is it.” 

“Don’t know,” A-Train at least had the brains to look a little fucking guilty. “When we talked she’d never tell me. Said she couldn’t risk it or something.” 

“Well, what did she say?” MM runs his hand over his face. “There has to be something we could use.” 

“Nothing,” A-Train’s answer is way too damn fast, and he’s giving Ben a strange fucking look. “I mean, she was trying to convince me to help, and I agreed, and now I’m here. I can’t fucking help more than that-“ 

“That ain’t fuckin true mate,” Butcher sneers. “You gotta have somethin for us. We didn’t fake your damn death just for you to come here and leech.” 

“I’ve got some stuff on Vought, but you can’t really think they were telling me everything? I mean, Sage didn’t trust me as far as she could thrown me, and she’s not that strong-“ 

“There has to be fucking something!” Ben hissed Her name, leaning down to hold A-Train’s gaze. “She had to have said fucking something, anything, that could get her-“ 

“She wouldn’t share her plan with me!” A-Train was still fucking looking at Ben like that. Like he’d fucking dropped from the sky and was speaking goddamn gibberish. “Like I said, she didn’t tell me anything! I asked, and she said no. She didn’t even fucking tell you!” A-Train gestured at Ben with an exasperated movement. “Why do you think she’d tell me!” 

“A-Train,” MM sighed. “What do you know? That shit about Vought, about Homelander and Sage, about anything.” 

“I mean I fucking know all their old V stashes. I know about security. I know Sage, kind of. How she thinks. I know Ashley, and she’s real close to snapping or losing it or something.” 

“That’s good,” MM glanced up at Butcher. “We can get Mallory here tomorrow. Get all his shit down.” 

“Mate, we can’t be fuckin sure he’s even gonna tell us the truth-“ 

“I will.” A-Train frowned at Butcher. “I’m not here for Vought, fuck those guys. I’m here because I’m trying to be better. Because she,” A-Train shot Ben another strange look as he said Her name for clarification. “She said I could help. I’m not going to lie, there’s too much on the fucking line to lie.” 

“Well,” Butcher snapped. “We might need a little bloody more than Vought security protocols and a fuckin Sage profile. That’s all shit we can get our fuckin selves-“

“I can get you their passwords.” A-Train said, words abrupt and tight. “Hughie’s into all that computer stuff, right? I can write down everything I remember about Vought, about all their passwords, and go over what Sage has told me. I can tell you weaknesses, about Homelander and milk, and the Deep and fish-“ 

“How the fuck will that help-“ 

A-Train cut Ben off with Her name, and everything fucking hurt again. “She thought I could help. This is all I can do, man. She knew that, and she thought it was worth it.” 

“Stop fucking talking about her like that.” Ben hissed. “You don’t know her. You don’t know what she thinks, not about this or any other damn thing.” 

“She told me I could help you. So I’m here.” A-Train didn’t flinch away from Ben’s glare. “Don’t blame me for her idea.” 

Ben was going to kill him. He was going to fucking rip his spine out of his back and break both his knees. The pussy didn’t have any fucking right to pretend to know Her, what she wanted. Ben trusted Her with his goddamn life, and he fucking trusted she knew what she was doing because there was no other option. No world where she never came back to him. She had to fucking come back, come home, but there wasn’t a single fucking way passwords and milk was going to help fucking help them. Help Her. 

Butcher placed a hand on Ben’s shoulder, and he flinched. “The fuck-“ 

“In and out, Gov.” Butcher muttered. “It ain’t gonna help shit to kill A-Train, even if he deserves it.” 

“Shut the fuck up, you pussy-“ 

“Trust me, I want to kill him just as much as you do. But he’s got somethin for us that ain’t totally fuckin useless.” Butcher nodded to MM. “We’ll get Mallory here at the crack of fuckin dawn. We got some work to do.” 

MM nodded, leaning down the table to the French Prick and Kimiko. “Can you two show A-Train a room? Doesn’t fucking matter which one, just get him in a bed.” 

A-Train gave Ben one last weird fucking look before he was led out of the room, leaving Ben with Butcher, MM, and the hum of a fan somewhere. 

Butcher sighed, dropping his hand from Ben’s shoulder back into his pockets. “MM, you better be bloody right about him-“ 

“I am,” MM muttered. “He’s here. He’s not going to fucking leave now, not with his family out there. And we can use his info, get the Kid on a laptop and into their servers. Get an idea of what Sage is doing. But we still need V-“ 

Butcher said Her name, and it ached in Ben’s ears. “Said she’d get us some. Right, Gov?” 

Ben grunted with a nod, and Butcher frowned. 

“She good?” 

Ben shot Butcher a glare. “The fuck is it to you.” 

Butcher shrugged. “She’s doin a lot of shit. Want to make sure she ain’t gonna burn out on us.” 

“She fucking won’t.” Ben snapped. She couldn’t. She’d promised she’d come home. “She’ll be fine.” 

She’ll be fine. Ben had left Her but she was going to be fine. 

You didn’t leave me, Ben. 

Butcher was speaking before Ben could respond to Her voice. “You didn’t fuckin pick her up and carry her back?”

“Fucking obviously.” 

Butcher narrowed his eyes. “After all your fuckin peacocking-“ 

“She told me to trust her,” Ben muttered. “And she’d have fucking kicked my ass if I tried to take her.” Ben shot Butcher a cold look. “I’m not in the business of making my woman do shit she doesn’t goddamn want to.” 

He’d said the words before he could think about them. My woman. She was his. He was supposed to hold her and protect her and care for her and help her and- 

Everything was fucking painful. 

Butcher grunted, nodding. “She’ll get through this, Mate. She’s a clever fuckin lady, she knows what she’s doing.” 

Ben didn’t respond. He already fucking knew that, he knew everything about her. She was fucking perfect and a goddamn threat to Ben’s sanity. 

He didn’t even notice Butcher was gone until MM coughed, and Ben realized it was just them left in the dining hall. 

“What.” 

“You were gone with her for a while,” MM said, watching Ben with a blank, unreadable face. “The fuck were you doing that whole time.” 

“None of your fucking business.” 

“It is if she’s-“ 

“It’s fucking not.” Ben glared at MM with all the fucking pain in his body. “It’s ours. Nobody else's.”

MM hummed, holding Ben’s glower. “Ours.”

“You’ve got a fucking problem with that? You hate me so fucking much you don’t trust me with her? When I’m the only fucking one who’s been fighting for her, doing whatever it fucking takes while you pussies-“ 

“I don’t trust you with her, motherfucker.” MM sneered. “She’s a good woman, and she’s too good for you. She doesn’t need you to fight for her-“ 

“Shut the fuck up.” Ben couldn’t fucking deal with this. Not when everything hurt and he could still see Her when he closed his eyes. “You can hate me for the rest of goddamn time, and tell me I’m evil or say I get off on vengeance, or whatever else makes you sleep at night, but never say shit about what you think she deserves, or needs.” 

“What, you think you speak for her?” MM scoffed. “You think she needs you?” 

Something stabbed deep into the Thing, and Ben had to speak through gritted teeth. “She doesn’t fucking need anyone. She wants me.” His head hurt. Something was pulling at his throat and clouding his eyes and a halo of pain was wrapping around his head. Stinging his tongue when he said Her name. “Doesn’t need you telling her what she wants. Or if I’m fucking good for her. She’s capable of making her own fucking choices.” 

Look at you, defending my honor. My right to choose. Keep this up and you’ll be giving lectures at Feminist panels. 

The pain was becoming blinding. 

“You’re a fucking murderer, Soldier Boy.” MM stood from the table, leering at Ben. “Nothing’s going to change that, change the shit you’ve done.” 

Ben’s jaw was going to break. “I know what I was.” He grunted, a lot of his anger leaking out and being replaced by just this inescapable agony. “You don’t need to fucking tell me. But I’d fucking do it again,” Ben gave MM a cold look. “I’d kill a thousand fucking people and be trapped in Russia for a million goddamn years if it brought her home.” 

“And what about those people's families?” MM hissed. “Their kids, like me?” 

“I’d fucking repent.” Ben sighed. He was so fucking tired. “I’d do it and add another hundred years to my sentence for every single body.” Anything. Anything to bring Her home. 

“What about me,” MM was still frowning, but there was something tragic in his voice. Something Ben couldn’t call weak, because he felt it too, felt it in his pain. “What about what you fucking did to me.” 

Ben said the only thing he could think of. The only thing that he could fucking mean and understand at the same time. “Whatever I fucking need to for you just fucking let her be happy.” 

“With you?”

“With me.” Ben felt something hard in his throat. “Or wherever else she wants. Just goddamn happy.” 

MM sighed, and Ben wished he would just fucking leave. Let Ben deal with this fucking pain alone. “She’ll fucking want it with you.”

Ben blinked at MM, something close to shock sparking through his chest. “What.” 

“She’ll be happy with you. When she gets back. I can’t fucking explain it, I defiantly don’t damn understand it, but she’s real happy with you.” MM shook his head. “She sees something in you I can’t understand, don’t even know where she’s finding it, but she’s smarter than most of us. Smarter than me and Butcher, defiantly fucking smart than you. I can’t explain why, shit’s fucking baffling why, but she’ll be happy with you. Just,” MM gave Ben one last look. It wasn’t cold, wasn’t hateful. Just tired. “Try to earn it.” 

It was like MM had fucking shot him. Shot Ben in the fucking chest and left him to bleed out. He stood in the dining hall, alone and in pain long after MM left, and only managed to move when the fan stuttered off and he couldn’t stand the silence. 

He hadn’t earned Her. Ben could never fucking earn her. He’d held her and lost her, fucking again. He’d spent the whole fucking Christ Convenetion feeling the way the Thing was alight, burning and raging inside of him, trying to pull him around and falling into a beat that was so familiar but Ben still didn’t recognize, or know how to decipher. It had been trying to tell him something, it was always trying to tell him something, but it had been fucking feral. Roaring and howling in a language Ben didn’t understand, couldn’t understand. He’d come closer to geting, when he’d seen her. Touched Her. 

Real. 

Back in his arms and fucking real. Making the Thing start to break bones in his body and turn Ben into just a fucking soldier that could bring Her home. Make her smile while she was against him forever, make those feelings of sheer fucking pleasure and ease run between them when he touched her, tasted her, and just had her. 

He’d fucking had Her. She’d been real, with Ben, and he’d lost her. 

You didn’t lose me, Benjamin. I’ll come home. 

He didn’t fucking care. It was all goddamn semantics, because Ben had failed, again, to be worthy of her. He’d listened to her and done as he’d been told, and still managed to fail Her. She wasn’t home. Ben couldn’t breathe because she wasn’t home. He’d failed to bring Her home, failed to convince her she’d done enough. That everything was worse because she wasn’t at Ben’s side, that everything hurt because he’d fucking failed. She didn’t know what she meant to him. If She knew what she meant to Ben she’d have come home. If he could break the Thing’s stupid fucking code and tell her that vital thing, she’d have understood and come home. 

The Thing pulsed, and Ben knew he was wrong. Collapsing on the couch, he knew he was wrong and she wouldn’t have left. He could’ve offered Her the sun and stars and every fucking song in the world and she’d have still told him she had to see this through.

Why couldn’t he have chosen to feel like this about a woman who would just go? Leave? Just fuck the world and come home for Ben. 

Because that wouldn’t have been Her. The Thing ran into Ben’s head, but it wasn’t speaking. It was pushing against the painful haze, and Ben was finding the words on his own. She’d never give up on the world. She’s too good to give up on the world. And it always has to be Her. Nothing is capable of making you feel this pain like She is.

That might be the worst fucking part of this. Was that, somewhere in this pain of Ben having lost Her. He’d left her and lost her and she still doesn’t understand that Ben can’t breathe without Her there, there was something good. She’d trusted him, to do what she needed him to do. She’d cried against him and known he’d pick her up and make it better. She’d touched him and still meant it, still wanted him even after he’d failed Her. 

She still wanted him. She still wanted Ben. She’d smiled at him and laughed with him and known him like nobody ever had. Like nobody ever would, not like she did. Not like she’d pulled Ben into her and tried to tell him everything he’d needed to hear. Found every way to feed the Thing with soft words and pretty looks, and all at once, grow this pain. She was perfect, and she still wanted Ben, and he’d never fucking earn her. 

That’s what breaks the pain. Snaps it open in two, and Ben with it. She wanted him. She was perfect and she wanted him and Ben hadn’t even told Her how much he missed Her. How he wasn’t sleeping and eating was an act of labor without Her there to throw crumpled napkins at his face and hang around his body while he did the dishes. How she was gone and nothing was good. 

He hadn’t told Her. And she still wanted him. And Ben breaks. 

It starts in his chest. Shaking something there and pushing that lump further up into his mouth. The pain tightens around his throat and brow, his eyes feel fucking weird, and the first sound echoes through the dark, empty apartment. Choked. Tired. All fucking pain and hurt. 

The damn breaks, and Ben’s too goddamn exhausted to fight it. He roars into the darkness, even though he knows nobody can hear. Maybe she will. Across the city and bay, she’ll hear how much Ben fucking misses Her. How nothing is as important as Her. Home. Safe. With Ben and happy. 

When he roars again, it’s strangled and he tastes salt. His eyes hurt, and it’s so fucking hard breathe. There are no drums, no violence in him. Just a fucking ache for Her, and he can’t do anything about it but try and pull it out of his brain. Run his hand over his face and through his hair and pull it back to find it wet.

He’s crying. He’s fucking crying. 

Ben hadn’t fucking cried since he was a child. It had been a hundred fucking years since Ben had cried like a pussy. Weak, pathetic, and useless. 

This didn’t feel useless. For reasons Ben couldn’t fucking understand, the bellows of pain escaping his body and the endless fucking pain finding its way out of his body didn’t feel useless. It felt good. It felt like a tribute, like he was leaving an offering for Her in this loneliness. This was agony and the worst fucking thing in the world and Ben had to fucking break to prove it. She couldn’t break, she wouldn’t allow herself to, so Ben would do it for Her. He’d shatter on the floor of their apartment and cling to any thought of Her as it made this pain grow. It was a lot fucking better than forgetting. 

Nothing would hurt more than forgetting Her. Forgetting her laugh and smile and the way she felt. Forgetting her beautiful face and smart fucking mouth, forgetting the way she spoke and looked at Ben. Like She somehow did think he was worthy. 

So Ben just cried. He knew she’d come home but he still just fucking sobbed on the couch. Alone. Missing Her, and wanting her, and waiting for her. 

He’d fucking wait for Her. He’d cry for Her and be haunted by her until She was home. 

He’d always wait. She’d always come home, so Ben would always fucking wait. 

The Thing would keep him company, twisting and screaming in time with Ben’s tears and choked noises of pain. Remind him of every part of Her. Every part he’d lost. Every part that would come back. 

Ben cried until the sun cracked the sky. 

He’d wait for Her until it burned out the universe.

End Note:  End of chapter check in! How we feeling, squad? We getting through this?

Also, if you haven't yet, check out the first one-shot from the reader event! I'm moving through the rest, and I think I'll upload them between chapters to keep you guys fed. No matter what, thank you so much for reading, and I'll see you soon!

If you like this story, reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3

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[lieslab]

Are you with me?

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Chan X gn reader

Summary: After struggling with being underweight, you binge out of desperation to gain weight and that's when your boyfriend finds you.

Genre: Comfort/hurt

Word Count: 1.6K

Trigger warning: Insecurities, implied underweight reader, mentions of weight, weight loss, binging, calorie counting, and a mention of nausea.

A/N: I believe that this is the final request I had. I'm so sorry for making you wait forever, life has been hard and this topic is a bit too real and relatable. Please know that your weight doesn't define you. Whether you are thirty pounds, three hundred, or three-thousand, you still deserve love and respect. You are allowed to love yourself no matter what you look like.

Society can be really fucking shitty and harsh. Don't let it tear you down. This is your life and maybe we do only get one. Eat the slice of cake on your birthday. Indulge in your favorite coffee. Weight can fluctuate and be lost or gained, but good memories last a life time. Don't let yourself miss out on experiencing them because you think your weight and the way you look is holding you back. It's easier said than done, but it's entirely possible <3

_ _ _

The brain is a chamber and each thought is a bullet. A complex system full of neural pathways that define who you are. The brain controls your entire being. Your personality, your motor skills, the cognitive ability to retain information, and pull it out later. 

Beneath the skin, we’re all just bones. Chipped and withered skeletons that will one day disintegrate into nothingness. They say life is a blessing. We should cherish it to the best of our ability. We only get one life, supposedly. If that’s true, then why is it so hard? 

Bodies. Bodies. Bodies. Bodies. Thick and thin. Taut skin stretched over hollowed cheekbones. Round cheeks full of facial fat. Sharpened and softened jawlines. No matter what yours looks like, you only get one. 

A random genetic lottery thanks to your parents. You might hate yourself or you might love yourself. No matter which one wins, there always seems to be hiccups. Those times of turmoil where you just can’t seem to go on another day because you are trapped inside your body. The machine that causes you to breathe, it feels like a burden to some. 

You cannot control how the outside world perceives you. You cannot make everyone like yourself. Chasing idolization and devotion is a great bomb of self-destruction. Feelings can be fatal and if you’re not careful, they will be. Drowning in insecurities and letting them weigh you down while the days pass you by isn’t a good way to live. 

Yet…you just couldn’t help it. The way you looked was just overwhelming. You were a mess. Physically, nobody could see it. Mentally, you were overwhelmed and falling apart. Unraveling at the seams and spiraling out of control. 

The whispers of your insecurities had turned into a sympathy of screams. Scorching hot tears streamed down your cheeks in the kitchen. Your weight has always been an issue. People don’t second guess the things they say at times. 

“Gosh, you’re so skinny, you need to put some meat on your bones.” 

“Is that really all you’re going to eat?” 

“One blow from the wind and you’re going to fall over at this rate.” 

Some people are blessed with rapid metabolisms and some are cursed. No matter how much you consume, your body works it off. Over and over and over and over and over. Just when you think you’ve gained a pound, the scale says you’re down another half of a pound. 

What does your boyfriend think about it? He always says you look wonderful, but does he really mean it? What if he’s lying? Members of your family have stated that you look like you’re on your deathbed. 

What if you’re not good enough? What if this body isn’t great? What if nothing changes? What if you’re cursed to be this weight forever? What if? What if? What if? 

It was a spur of the moment decision. Ever since you lost another two pounds within the last week, something inside of you seemed to snap. That’s when you found yourself tearing through kitchen cabinets. 

Thoughts were swirling as you ripped open the package of oreo cookies you bought. It was one and then it was two and you blinked and half the row was gone. Crumbs caked your lips and all you could do was wipe them along your sweater sleeve. 

As much as you were spiraling, you were desperate to gain control. Surely, if you ate enough, you could put on a pound or two, right? Right? You had to. 

Crinkling filled the air as you opened a bag of brand new chips. The kind that were too salty and you knew they weren’t healthy, but you did it anyway. Life felt better with the occasional unhealthy snack. People weren’t perfect and neither were you. 

Staring at the back of the calorie contents, you lost track of how many chips you placed in your mouth. People didn’t seem to binge on the fruits and vegetables. 

It was the sugary sweetened foods that stuck to your sides. The salty chips and pretzels. The kind of food that was full of empty calories, but you didn’t care. You were desperate to gain a pound. 

People don’t understand what it’s like until they’re there. You will never understand what it’s like to be skin and bones until it’s all that you are. You will never understand what it’s like to carry around a pudgy stomach that bounces with every step until you are there. 

Weight fluctuates and bodies are different. We only get one, but it’s so easy to abuse it. To never eat enough. To over consume and eat too much. You didn’t think you were doing anything wrong with your body. 

You ate your food and that was that. It wasn’t a ton of food, but it wasn’t like you were starving yourself either. Yet, at the exact same time, your body seemed to stay thin. 

The more you spiraled, the more you lost track. You didn’t remember what you put in your mouth. Everything tasted like defeat, even the oreos. 

It kept going and going. Your stomach began to ache with the amount of food you consumed, but you couldn’t stop. It was overwhelming and all too much. Everything hurt and you just wanted to break down and sob. 

When you caught the reflection of yourself in the microwave, that’s exactly what you did. The lump in your throat pulsed and the tears welled up again. The box of crackers in your hand dropped to the floor and you grabbed the counter top for support. 

Your body caved and slumped over the cold marble top. With a forehead pressed into the marble, you cried. You cried because it wasn’t fair. You cried because you hated what you were doing to your body. You cried because you were worried about how you were perceived. You cried because everything was overwhelming and too much. You hated yourself and it hurt like hell. 

Piercing sobs racked the empty kitchen and bounced off the walls. They reverberated back to you and you were left alone with the heart-shattering reality of what you were doing. You ate so much, you were nauseous. 

Your stomach twisted and churned. A fresh layer of saliva coated your tongue. The queasy feeling caused you to squeeze your eyes shut. All you could do was just cry harder. 

Your sobs were the first thing that Chan heard when he unlocked and pushed the door open. Fear struck his heart and he ripped off his bag. Not caring that his laptop was in it, it dropped to the ground with a heavy thud. 

He rushed into the kitchen and found you slung over the counter. “Baby? Baby?” His hand went to your back and he tugged you into his arms. 

The warmth of his chest made you cry harder. You hated that this was who you were. Why couldn’t you have another body? Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn’t it just be different? 

“What’s wrong?” His eyes scanned your face. “Why are you crying? What’s going on? Are you hurt?” His hands gently cupped your cheeks. He positioned your face up towards him. “Please talk to me.” 

“I-I hate myself,” you uttered hoarsely with a hiccup. “I’m not good enough. I can’t gain weight and I’m a walking skeleton and I-” 

His eyebrows pinched together in confusion. “Sweetheart, what are you talking about?”  A reassuring thumb ran over your cheek. 

“My body isn’t good enough. Not for you. Not for me. Not for anyone.” 

Knowing that you thought so negatively of yourself, it stung. It shoved an arrow through his heart and he shook his head. “Listen to me, you’re perfect the way you are. Just because y-” 

“You don’t get it!” You snapped angrily. Your hands shoved at his shoulders and he stumbled back in shock. “You don’t get it because you’re perfect! You can gain weight and you can lose weight. You can do whatever you want and I-” Your voice cracked and cut off. 

He didn’t utter a word. He knew you were struggling, so he just opened his arms. With a quivering bottom lip, you let yourself fall forward. Sturdy arms grabbed you and he pressed your head against his chest. 

The steady lull of his heart made you burst into tears. A weak and hoarse apology fell from your lips. All he could do was quietly shush you as he rubbed your back. 

“I know that it’s hard. I know what it’s like to struggle with your self image. Maybe I don’t know exactly what it is, but I’m right here and I love you. Please don’t push me away just because you’re struggling. I might not understand, but we can figure it out together. I’m not going anywhere and you know that.” 

That last reassurance was the final straw. Your knees buckled and your fingers dug into his cotton shirt. Down the both of you went and you landed on his lap. 

He pressed you against him as tight as he dared. With your eyes shut and your forehead pressed into the nape of his neck. He soothed you softly while rubbing your back. 

Even if he didn’t understand exactly, he’d wait here for as long as he had to. He’d be here until the kitchen was pulled into darkness and the sun went down outside. He didn’t care if he had to be here all night. 

He’d do whatever it took to remind you that no matter how you saw yourself, you weren’t entirely alone.

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

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[ikeucity]

moonstruck. | chapter one pt 2 - smoke and surrender

warning. contains explicit sexual content, drug use, angst, domination, spacestation!au, slight action, slow burn, strong language, intense sexual tension, a more technologically advanced iss, explicit fantasies, and adult themes. reader discretion is strongly advised. mdni.

wc. 30k

with just 24 hours left until the drug is supposed to completely take effect, the crew is on the brink of losing control. with the clock ticking and their self-restraint nearly shattered, tensions are boiling over, fights breaking out as the crew's patience wears thin.

── .✦⸝⸝ previous chapters: ✦ pilot - locked in orbit ✦ chapter one: orders from above pt. 1

disclaimer. this story is a work of fiction and does not represent real-life events or the members of enhypen

"whose fucking idea was this? how is this supposed to be physical wellness?!" jake yelled, firing off rounds as simulated monsters closed in, his shots barely connecting. ducking behind a boulder, he cursed under his breath, frantically reloading next to jungwon, who, of course, was unbothered, calmly taking out each alien with unnerving precision.

"jake, for the love of—keep it down," jay muttered, hunkering behind some debris, irritation etched into every line of his face. sunghoon was right next to him, visibly pissed at the situation—or maybe just pissed off at jay. "why are you yelling like it's gonna help?"

"why are we even acting like this shit matters? it’s a simulation, we’re not actually gonna die," sunghoon mumbled, frustration slipping into his voice as he aimed and shot an alien in the head, the kill almost too clean. then, as an afterthought, he added, "right?" his confidence faltering for a second.

"got 'em all cleared over here," heeseung’s voice crackled through the comms, way too relaxed for the chaos unfolding. he was enjoying this a little too much, his gamer instincts taking over. "let’s regroup," he added, his voice carrying a smugness that made it clear he was thriving in this chaos.

you, on the other hand, were perched up high, hidden behind the walls like heeseung had suggested. you were chilling, taking your shots at the aliens whenever the opportunity arose. the tech was impressive, too—real guns, simulated ammo, the kind of shit that made you wonder how much had changed on earth while you’d been up here.

"that was sick," you breathed, more to yourself than anyone else, marveling at the seamlessness of the whole setup.

"how are you so calm right now?" jake shot back, glancing over at jungwon in disbelief. jungwon, not even breaking a sweat, methodically picked off another alien, his demeanor unshaken.

"this is supposed to help us de-stress," jungwon said evenly, his voice calm as ever over the comms, making it sound like he was explaining a basic fact rather than shooting his way through an alien horde.

"de-stress my ass," jake muttered, clearly not convinced. his frustration was evident, not just with the situation, but with the fact that you weren't near him.

he could tell you weren’t paying him much attention anymore, and that fact stung more than the simulation itself. maybe it’s because the other guys keep hovering around you.

as if sensing jake’s irritation, sunghoon chimed in with a bite to his words. "yeah, well, some of us don’t need to act like it’s life or death just to get through it." his eyes flicked over to where you were perched, his annoyance obvious.

he’d noticed, too. noticed how the others, especially jungwon and heeseung, seemed to be getting more time with you than he was comfortable with.

"cut it out, sunghoon," jay muttered, his patience thinning as he reloaded his weapon. but sunghoon didn’t seem interested in backing down, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before he returned to firing at the simulation.

after regrouping, you all found yourselves in a dimly lit cave module. the uneven terrain was tricky to navigate, and you brought up the rear, jungwon in front of you.

it wasn’t long before your foot slipped on a loose rock, and you stumbled. the pain was minimal, but a whimper escaped your lips before you could stop it, echoing through the confined space and over the comms.

everything stopped.

jay whipped his head around, his hand gripping his weapon a little tighter. "you alright?" his voice was tense, concern barely masking the shift in the air.

"she tripped," jungwon said smoothly, moving to your side in an instant, helping you back up. his hand on your waist lingered, fingers pressing a little too firmly as he steadied you. "you good?" he asked softly, though it felt like more than just checking on your physical state.

you laughed it off, embarrassed. "yeah, i’m fine."

your voice, however innocent, carried a weight over the comms that made the others pause, especially jake, whose gaze hardened as he watched jungwon’s hand on your waist. too close.

"what happe- i’m coming," jake muttered, already moving toward you before sunghoon stepped in his way, shooting him a pointed look.

"she’s fine," sunghoon said, his voice sharp, almost defensive. his eyes flicked toward jungwon, clearly annoyed by the way he was handling you. "focus on the task, jake."

jake hesitated, torn between frustration and concern, but nodded, falling back in line. still, his eyes lingered on you for a moment too long, watching jungwon’s arm wrapped around you.

heeseung’s voice cut through the comms, his usual commanding tone laced with something a little more possessive this time. "she’s good to go. let’s keep moving."

you could feel the tension rising, the air between you all charged in a way that had nothing to do with the simulation. jungwon kept close to you, his arm steady around your waist as you continued walking, his touch burning through the fabric of your suit. it felt deliberate, like he was making a point—both to you and to the others.

and then there was sunghoon. his eyes hadn’t left you since the stumble, the irritation practically radiating off him. he wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore.

the way jungwon was practically glued to your side, the fact that heeseung kept sneaking glances your way—it was all too fucking much. they were taking up way too much time with you, and it was getting under his skin.

jake, on the other hand, felt the shift. he saw it unfolding right in front of him—how you were being pulled in all these different directions, each one of them fighting for your attention. but what bothered him the most was how you weren’t looking at him like you used to. it was because they were circling you like vultures, wasn’t it?

he was first. he made the moves. you flirted back, smiled at him like you meant it. you wanted him too, didn’t you? he was sure of it. so why did it feel like you were slipping away?

but sunghoon couldn’t stand the way jungwon was glued to your side, his eyes constantly flicking to the hand that rested on your waist, each touch like a silent taunt. "jungwon," he said, his voice laced with irritation, "how about you give her some space?"

jungwon raised an eyebrow, not even pretending to hide his smirk. "why? she doesn’t seem to mind."

before sunghoon could fire back, jake cut in, his frustration finally spilling over. "both of you, knock it off." his eyes flicked between them, his voice tight with anger. "we’ve got enough to deal with here without this shit."

sunghoon’s eyes flared, his irritation clear as he took a step forward, squaring his shoulders. "that’s not the point, jungwon," he snapped, his voice dripping with frustration. "you’ve been glued to her since this started. give her some damn space."

jungwon didn’t back down, his smirk only widening as he glanced at you before turning his attention back to sunghoon. "like I said, she doesn’t seem to mind." his voice was calm, but there was a sharpness to his words, a deliberate jab that made sunghoon’s jaw clench.

"are you fucking serious right now?" sunghoon shot back, his fists tightening at his sides. "you act like she belongs to you."

"and what about you?" jungwon countered smoothly, tilting his head. "acting all territorial when you’ve barely even talked to her today. what’s your deal, sunghoon?"

jake, who had been standing off to the side, couldn’t hold back any longer. "both of you need to shut the hell up," he barked, stepping between jungwon and sunghoon. his eyes flicked briefly to you, frustration etched deep into his expression. "this isn’t about who’s getting more time with her. we’re in the middle of a fucking activity. so maybe focus on that instead of—"

"oh, and you’re one to talk?" sunghoon cut him off, his eyes narrowing in challenge. "you’ve been sulking ever since she stopped paying attention to you."

jake’s face reddened, his teeth clenched hard enough to crack. "i’m not sulking." but even as the words left his mouth, he could feel the truth in sunghoon’s accusation sinking in.

the jealousy gnawed at him more than he’d like to admit. the possessiveness that had been building up inside him was getting harder to ignore.

"i’m pissed because you idiots are making this harder than it needs to be. we’re supposed to be working together, but you two are too busy fighting over her like it’s some goddamn competition."

jungwon, standing with his arms crossed, scoffed, eyes sharp. "you’re just mad because you feel like you’re losing."

"what the fuck does that even mean?" jake growled, stepping closer to jungwon, frustration blazing in his eyes. but deep down, it stung—jungwon had hit too close to the truth.

jake wasn’t used to this feeling, this irrational need to keep you closer to him, to be the one you turned to. it was messing with his head in ways he wasn’t ready to admit.

sunghoon, still glaring at both of them, muttered under his breath, "fucking whatever," not even bothering to hide his disdain.

"shut up," jake snapped, his voice rising, a sharp edge of anger slicing through his words.

the tension in the room had reached its peak, every word dripping with jealousy and frustration, neither side willing to back down. jungwon held his ground, cold and unyielding, while sunghoon looked ready to snap.

and there you were, right in the middle of it all. their possessiveness weighed heavy, wrapping around you like a suffocating blanket. the way they argued, the intensity of their stares—it overwhelmed you, each word pulling you deeper into their desires.

it wasn’t just about them fighting with each other anymore; they were fighting for you, and you could feel it, the heat of their unspoken claims burning in the air.

"are you serious right now?" you snapped, voice cutting through their bickering. you’d had enough. "you’re acting like kids. this is a simulation, and all of you are too wrapped up in your egos to remember why we’re even here." your gaze landed on jungwon’s hand still resting on your waist, and you pushed it away, firm but calm. "stop treating me like a prize to fight over. it’s fucking embarrassing."

silence fell, thick and heavy. they looked at you, shock flickering across their faces. no one expected you to speak up like that, but they should have.

jay, who had been quietly watching from a distance, finally stepped forward, shaking his head. "she’s right," he muttered, his voice low but firm. "this isn’t about who gets more time with her. we’ve got bigger issues, and this isn’t helping anyone."

heeseung sighed, standing off to the side, clearly fed up with the situation. "you’re all making this harder than it needs to be," he said, frustration clear in his tone. "focus on the mission, or don’t, but stop dragging her into your bullshit."

jungwon’s smirk faded slightly as he stepped back, his hand dropping to his side. jake crossed his arms, still irritated, but held his tongue. sunghoon grumbled under his breath, jaw clenched, but the fire in his eyes had dimmed, at least for now.

"thank you," you muttered, tension still thick in your voice as you exhaled, trying to shake off the frustration. "we’re supposed to be a team. stop making it about me and start acting like it."

for a moment, no one spoke. the tension hadn’t disappeared, still simmering just beneath the surface, but at least the arguing had stopped.

heeseung gave you a nod, his gaze softening slightly. "let’s move," he said quietly, taking control once more. "we’re wasting time."

then, with a slight smirk tugging at his lips, heeseung muttered, "i ain’t about to lose a game." the tension shifted, just a bit, as nostalgia flickered in his eyes. the familiar competitive spark returned, and for a moment, it cut through the frustration.

"remember when we used to play shit like this back on earth?" he added, his grin widening as he readied his weapon. "except, you know, without all the drama over her."

you rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at your lips. heeseung had a way of diffusing tension, even if he wasn’t letting anyone off the hook entirely.

jake scoffed, shaking his head but appreciating the shift. "yeah, well, it’s a little different when it’s not a damn game," he muttered, though his tone was less harsh now.

sunghoon, still visibly irritated, mumbled something under his breath but didn’t push further. jungwon chuckled softly, finally easing out of his defensive stance.

"fine, let’s finish this," you said, stepping forward, done with the back-and-forth. you glanced at heeseung, who was already back in position, his cocky grin growing.

"don’t worry," heeseung teased, aiming down his scope. "i’ll carry the team—like always."

his comment did the trick, cutting through the tension like a knife. as he confidently took the lead, the atmosphere lightened, if only slightly. even jake let out a small sigh, shaking his head with a reluctant smile on his lips.

you glanced at them, your heart beating a little faster. something about seeing them like this—competitive, bickering, but still a team—made your eyes soften. the jealousy, the tension, it was all still there, but moments like this reminded you why you cared about them.

sunghoon, though still tense, chuckled quietly, watching heeseung with his usual cocky grin. jungwon’s smirk widened, and jay rolled his shoulders as if getting ready for the final round. even jake caught your gaze for a split second, something softer flickering in his eyes, like he was glad to see you smile again.

your heart swelled, a warmth spreading through your chest as you looked at them. these guys—they drove you crazy, but there was no one else you’d rather be stuck in this mission with.

“alright, let’s finish this,” you said, steady, a small smile tugging at your lips.

heeseung glanced back at you, his smirk softening just a touch before nodding. "let’s win this." his voice carried that familiar spark of confidence, pulling everyone back into focus.

when the simulation finally ended, you all stumbled back into the main area, adrenaline still thrumming through your veins. everyone was sweaty, breathless, but the thick tension from before?

it hadn’t gone anywhere. if anything, it had only gotten worse, like the simulation had fanned the flames.

you stood there, trying to catch your breath, but their eyes were still on you—all of them watching you, their presence took up too much space, pressing in on you from all sides.

heeseung, still panting slightly, broke the silence as everyone’s eyes shifted toward the scoreboards. his smirk was cocky, almost too confident, like he knew he was the top scorer. "good job, everyone. hq’s gonna love this," he said, wiping sweat from his brow.

jay, leaning against the wall, let out a dry laugh, his chest rising and falling with labored breaths. "yeah, if we don’t melt first," he muttered, tugging at his collar, sweat beading on his skin.

"yeah, real fucking great," sunghoon muttered, his voice sharper than usual. his gaze slid toward you, his jaw tightening as he wiped sweat from his face. "is it just me, or does it feel like my body’s on fire?" he asked, irritation clear.

you felt it too. the heat. it wasn’t just adrenaline from the simulation—it was deeper, more intense, creeping through your skin. you shifted, wiping sweat from your neck, the burning sensation only growing. it wasn’t just sunghoon; all of you felt it.

"fuck, it’s too hot in here," jake grumbled, his voice rough as he ran a hand through his damp hair, his eyes flicking toward you like he couldn’t help himself.

jungwon, furrowed his brows, glancing at you for just a second before looking away. "this doesn’t feel right," he muttered, barely loud enough to hear. mind already working, to think of a reason why

you nodded, feeling the heat crawl up your spine, tingling your skin. the room felt heavy, charged with something unspoken. "we’ll cool down in a bit," you said, though even you weren’t sure you believed it. "just… take a breather."

heeseung rubbed the back of his neck, his smirk fading slightly. "maybe it’s just the sim," he suggested, but even he didn’t believe it.

so what did you all do? it was like an unspoken agreement—avoidance. everyone was way too pent up, way too on edge, but there was a collective decision to just… ignore it.

to push through. no one said it out loud: stay away, keep your distance, pretend like you weren’t all about to fucking lose it. avoidance felt like the only option left.

it’ll only be a few more days, right?

those questions haunted every one of you. if you could just make it through the next few days… but deep down, you all knew what came after that. once the drug fully worked its way through your systems, once you had control again—if you ever did—none of you were going to hold back.

jake, jungwon, sunghoon, heeseung, jay—they all had the same hungry look in their eyes, even if they tried to hide it. they all had the same thought: if we make it through this without snapping, then what happens next? would any of you even be able to keep the floodgates closed once the pressure finally released? the thought was terrifying and thrilling all at once.

and yet, no one wanted to be the first to admit it. no one wanted to be the first to break the fragile illusion that you could all survive this, untouched, unscathed.

it was a cruel joke, really. why didn’t hq even think to send condoms or normal birth control pills? how the hell were you supposed to get through this when everything had been amplified to the point of unbearable? but then again, how would that even work up here? where do you even dispose of a condom in space?

you chuckled bitterly to yourself when you realized the answer. oh right. you don’t. every ounce of waste had to be accounted for. and birth control pills? those probably wouldn’t do shit anyway, not with the way your bodies were being pushed to their limits. being in space already messed with your systems—hell, your period barely functioned as it was. what the hell would a bunch of hormones do when everything else was already out of whack?

but hq—those assholes—clearly hadn’t thought any of this through. they sent you up here with experimental drugs and didn’t even bother to consider how those drugs would interact with the unique effects of living in space. maybe they knew, maybe they just didn’t care.

either way, it was a disaster waiting to happen.

and the worst part? you were all too far gone to care anymore.

on the sixth day, everything felt like it was teetering on the edge of disaster. you had done your best to avoid unnecessary contact, kept your distance, and stayed focused on the mission. but the air was thick, almost suffocating, and the tension you’d all been pretending to ignore was now impossible to avoid. it felt like you were all walking through a minefield, one wrong step and everything would blow.

you made your way to the helm, tablet in hand, your mind buzzing with the routine diagnostics you were supposed to be focused on. but then, without warning, you collided with sunghoon.

your body slammed into his, and for a moment, it felt like time stopped. the contact sent a shockwave through you, heat flaring under your skin as the air between you practically sizzled.

“watch where the fuck you’re going,” sunghoon snapped, his voice rough, thick with irritation. his hand grabbed your arm to steady you, but the touch lingered, his grip tight—too tight, his body rigid with the effort of keeping himself in check. his breathing was heavy, ragged, as if he was barely holding on.

“i—i didn’t see you, i’m sorry,” you muttered, trying to step back, but he didn’t let go. his eyes, usually cold and calculating, now burned with something much more dangerous—desire. anger. frustration. his jaw clenched, muscles flexing beneath his skin as he stared down at you.

“you think sorry’s gonna fix this?” he growled, his voice dripping with something darker.

“you think you can just walk around like this, pretending everything’s fine? look at us.” his hand dropped, pointing at the obvious bulge straining against his pants, his expression turning almost feral.

“we’re all fucked. we’ve been avoiding each other, without even fucking talking about it. because we know. we fucking know what’ll happen if we don’t.”

your breath hitched as his words hit you like a punch to the gut, the heat in the room only growing worse. your pulse quickened, your patience wearing thin. because, yeah, you felt it too.

the constant pull, the unbearable pressure building with every passing second—they were driving you to the edge of insanity. and now sunghoon, with his hard-on and his rage, was pushing you past your breaking point.

“and you’re not helping,” sunghoon continued, his voice low, venomous. his gaze was intense, his eyes locked onto yours, and you could feel the unspoken accusation in his words.

“what the fuck do you want me to do, huh?” you snapped back, your own frustration bubbling over. “you think this is easy for me? i’m trying to get through this just like the rest of you. but it’s getting worse, and i’m fucking losing it, too.” your voice shook with barely controlled anger, the heat in your body matching the fury in your words.

“yeah? well, you’re making it harder. look at me,” he gestured again to his erection, his eyes wild. “every time you walk into a room, it’s like this. and i can’t fucking take it anymore. none of us can.”

your patience snapped. the drugs, the tension, the constant avoidance—it was all too much. “you think i don’t feel it too?” you hissed, stepping closer to him, your body reacting to the proximity, the heat rolling off him in waves.

“you think i haven’t noticed the way you all look at me? i’m doing everything i can not to lose it. but right now? right fucking now, i want to fuck you so badly i can’t think straight.”

that shut him up. his eyes widened for a split second, shock flickering across his face before it was replaced with something far more dangerous. desire. raw, unfiltered desire. his lips parted, his breath coming in heavy, uneven bursts as he stared at you, his pupils blown wide with lust.

“then what the fuck are we waiting for?” he growled, stepping even closer, his body crowding yours, pinning you against the wall of the helm. his hand came up, gripping your waist, pulling you toward him. “because i’m this close to losing my shit, and if you want me, you better fucking say it.”

but before either of you could go any further, the door to the helm slid open, and heeseung walked in. his eyes immediately locked onto the two of you, and his expression darkened, taking in the tension, the heated air, the way sunghoon had you pinned against the wall.

“what the hell is going on in here?” heeseung barked, his voice cold, a sharp edge to it that cut through the room like a knife.

you and sunghoon turned to face him, both of you still breathing heavily, your bodies thrumming with unspent energy. you tried to step back, to regain some semblance of composure, but sunghoon didn’t move. his body was still pressed against yours, his gaze flicking to heeseung with a challenge.

“nothing,” you managed to mutter, though your voice was shaky, and you knew you weren’t fooling anyone.

heeseung crossed his arms, his eyes narrowing as he glanced between the two of you. “get it together,” he snapped, his tone leaving no room for argument. “we’re all fucking on edge, but you don’t get to let it turn into this.”

“you think i’m not trying?” sunghoon shot back, his voice full of frustration. “look at us, heeseung. it’s getting worse. we’re fucking losing it. and no one’s saying a goddamn thing.”

heeseung stepped forward, his eyes hard. “you think i don’t know that?” his voice was low, dangerous, as he stared sunghoon down. “but we don’t get to crack. not here. not now.”

sunghoon’s jaw clenched, his fists tightening at his sides, but he didn’t say anything. his body was still rigid, the anger radiating off him in waves.

“this ends now,” heeseung said firmly, his gaze locking onto you for a brief second before he turned back to sunghoon. “get out of here. cool down.”

sunghoon let out a bitter laugh, his eyes flashing with frustration. “cool down? yeah, sure,” he muttered, turning and storming out of the room, the door sliding shut behind him with a sharp hiss.

as the door closed, you let out a shaky breath, your body still trembling from the intensity of the confrontation. heeseung stood there for a moment, watching you closely, his expression unreadable.

“this isn’t over,” he muttered quietly, more to himself than to you.

as sunghoon departs, heeseung’s eyes burned with an intensity that made your heart race, locking you in place. the beeping from the console felt deafening, a sharp contrast to the heavy silence between you two. your jaw was still tight from the argument with sunghoon, your thoughts racing as you tried to make sense of it all.

you moved to leave, wanting to shake off the tension, but heeseung’s hand shot out, gripping your wrist firmly and pulling your closer. your breath hitched, the sensation overwhelming your already sensitive body.

the second his fingers reached out and brushed against your waist, it was like being jolted with electricity. your skin burned, and a small, unintentional whimper escaped your lips, loud in the tense silence between you.

the sound broke something in him. his eyes widened, panic flashing across his face, and he immediately let go, his hands pulling back as if he had been burned. “shit,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair, stepping back like he had crossed a line. "fuck, i didn’t mean to—"

you stood there, still feeling the lingering heat from where his hands had been. the space between you now felt like an unbridgeable gap.

“heeseung,” you said quietly, your voice trembling. you weren’t sure what you were about to say, but the words just wouldn’t form.

heeseung took a deep breath, his fists clenching at his sides as if trying to fight the pull between you two. for a moment, he just stared, like he was caught between wanting to move closer and knowing he shouldn’t.

then, without another word, he turned sharply on his heel and walked away, leaving you standing there, breathless, your body still tingling from the brief contact.

he didn’t even look back.

you stood frozen, feeling the heat from where his hands had been, his absence a punch to your gut. the silence that followed felt deafening, and the frustration burned hotter than before.

your skin still tingled, aching for something more, something that had been taken from you the second he pulled away. you wanted to scream, to call him back, but your voice caught in your throat.

as the door slid shut behind you, you couldn’t take it anymore. your body still tingled from the brief touch, frustration boiling over into something you couldn’t quite contain. the thought of heeseung leaving, the tension left unresolved, drove you mad. you needed to get out, clear your head.

you walked through the dimly lit halls, each step feeling heavier, the cold steel of the ship’s floor beneath your feet doing nothing to cool the fire inside you. the endless view of space through the windows felt surreal, like a vast reminder of how far away you were from normality, from any sense of control. all you wanted was a break—a moment to breathe. something, anything, to quiet the chaos inside your head.

coffee—that’s what you needed. something simple, familiar. maybe it would help you focus, keep the drug from dragging you deeper into this mess. as you made your way toward the dining area, you tried to shake off the tension, the lingering heat crawling over your skin, making you desperate for relief.

but the second the door to the common room slid open, you weren't alone.

they were all here and they turned to look at you at the same time, their heads snapping toward you in sync like they’d been waiting for you. each of them had been doing their own thing—jay lounging on the couch, scrolling through something on his tablet; jake standing by the counter, hands gripping a cup; jungwon sitting cross-legged at the table, absentmindedly playing with a datapad, his eyes unreadable; and sunghoon, leaning against the far wall, arms crossed, gaze sharp. heeseung, on the other hand, sat in the far corner, his posture relaxed, but his eyes sharp, tracking your every move. his legs were spread, one arm draped over the back of the chair, while the other rested on his thigh, fingers twitching slightly, as if itching to grab something—or someone.

the room felt suffocating, their eyes burning into you.

for a split second, none of them moved, the silence stretching out. your breath caught in your throat as their gazes lingered on you, like they knew exactly what was going through your mind—because it was going through theirs too. the drug was making sure of it.

you swallowed hard, trying to steady yourself as you stepped further into the room. the weight of their stares clung to you like a second skin, but you forced yourself to focus. coffee—just make the damn coffee, keep your head down, and act like nothing was wrong.

"morning," you muttered, your voice barely breaking the thick silence. no one replied, but you didn’t expect them to.

you crossed the room, feeling their eyes track your every move. your fingers fumbled a bit as you grabbed a cup, your hands shaking just enough for you to curse under your breath. you could feel the tension rising behind you, like the air itself was alive, pressing in from all sides. the coffee machine sputtered to life, the sound breaking through the quiet like a crack of thunder.

as the coffee dripped into the cup, you felt it—the way sunghoon’s gaze bore into you. more intense than the others. his arms were still crossed, jaw clenched so tight you could hear the faint grind of his teeth. you avoided looking his way, pretending you didn’t feel the heat of his stare burning a hole into the back of your head.

you reached for the sugar, your hand trembling just a bit, and that’s when it happened. the packet slipped from your fingers, falling onto the floor with a light thud. such a small, insignificant thing, but in the charged air of that room, it felt like a bomb going off.

"seriously?" sunghoon snapped, the sharpness in his voice cutting through the silence like a blade. you froze, your hand still hovering in midair, your pulse racing. "you can’t even hold on to a fucking sugar packet now?"

your breath hitched, and the room seemed to shrink. the tension that had been building over the last few days finally cracked open, raw and exposed. you could hear the frustration in his voice, the way the drug had been chipping away at his self-control, just like it had with everyone else.

"what’s your problem?" you shot back, your voice shaky but defensive. you weren’t about to let him get away with snapping at you like that, even though you knew—fuck, you knew—he was feeling the same unbearable pressure you were.

“dude, cut it out,” jay jolted up from his seat, glaring at sunghoon with a warning edge in his voice. “turn off your asshole mode for one goddamn moment.”

sunghoon’s fists clenched, but he didn’t fire back immediately. the room was tense, thick with frustration, and you could feel the heat radiating off them.

jay wasn’t backing down, and the silence that followed made it clear that no one was about to challenge him. his eyes locked on sunghoon, daring him to keep pushing.

“fucking bitch,” sunghoon mumbled, just loud enough for everyone to hear.

the shift in the room was immediate. tension snapped like a wire pulled too tight. jake slammed his cup onto the table, the loud clatter echoing through the silence.

“woah.” jake’s voice was low, dangerous. in seconds, he was in front of sunghoon, eyes blazing with disbelief and fury. he had sunghoon cornered against the wall, his grip on sunghoon's shoulder hard enough to make it clear—this wasn’t just a conversation. “what the fuck did you just say?”

sunghoon’s eyes narrowed, lips pressed into a thin line. he wasn’t backing down, even though his breath came in heavy, uneven bursts. but he didn’t speak, refusing to give jake the satisfaction.

“say it again,” jake’s voice dropped colder, his grip tightening. “go ahead, say it again. i fucking dare you.”

jay and jungwon exchanged glances before stepping forward, their expressions unreadable but ready to intervene.

“jake, man, chill,” jay said, his tone calm but firm, cutting through the charged air. “this isn’t how we handle this.”

sunghoon, not one to let things go, shot a glare at jay. “oh, so now you decide to talk, huh? you’ve been real fucking quiet, jay.”

his words hung heavy in the air, a sad attempt to shift the blame, deflect attention from the fact that he had crossed the line. he was scrambling, and it was obvious to everyone.

jay’s gaze turned steely as he stepped further into the circle of tension. “oh, i’ve got plenty to say,” he said, voice sharp. “been sitting back, watching you all fall apart like amateurs.” his gaze swept the room, finally locking onto you.

“me? i’m making sure i don’t lose my shit and do something reckless—like calling her a bitch. that's low, man.”

the atmosphere grew thick, everyone holding their breath. jay’s words hit hard, the room now electric with barely-contained tension.

“trust me,” jay continued, his voice dipping into something darker, “you’d have to be a fucking idiot not to know what’s at stake here.”

jake’s jaw clenched, his fists balled at his sides. “and you think you’re handling this better?” he growled, clearly not liking the way your face softened while listening to jay.

before jay could respond, jungwon stepped in, his hand gently pulling jake back. “he is,” jungwon said quietly. “you have to admit it.”

jay’s smirk faded as he met your gaze. “i’m backing the fuck off because if i don’t, i’m gonna do something we can’t undo. with these drugs? any sane person would’ve put a baby in her by now if they got too close.”

the silence that followed was deafening. jay had ripped open the truth everyone had been avoiding. the tension, the desire, the drugs—everything had been building to this, and now, it was all laid bare.

you swallowed hard, the weight of his words sinking in. every lingering look, every accidental brush of hands—it had all felt dangerous. but hearing jay say it out loud made it undeniable.

jungwon broke the silence, his usually calm exterior now showing cracks. “he’s not wrong,” he muttered, his voice strained, like he was barely holding himself together. “this shit is dangerous. for all of us.”

sunghoon let out a bitter laugh, more frustration than humor. “so what, you’re just gonna back off and leave her to the rest of us?” his eyes flicked to you, sharp and possessive, challenging anyone to take his place.

jay didn’t miss a beat. “i’m stepping back because none of us are thinking straight. and if you were smart, you’d do the same. because right now? all you’re doing is letting the drugs push you toward something you’ll fucking regret.”

sunghoon’s jaw clenched, his fists tightening at his sides, but he didn’t say anything. the anger radiated off him in waves, but he held his tongue.

“just drop it, you're stressing her out.” heeseung’s voice boomed finally taking the chance to intervene, his eyes locking onto you for a brief moment before returning to sunghoon.

sunghoon’s lips pressed into a thin line, but the fire in his eyes hadn’t dimmed. “fine,” he muttered, storming out of the room.

as the door slid shut behind him, you let out a shaky breath, feeling the tension seep out of your body. your heart was still racing, the intensity of the confrontation leaving you rattled.

you couldn’t deny it— it was a dangerous mix, and the line between control and chaos had never been thinner.

heeseung's gaze lingered on you for a moment longer, like he wanted to say something but couldn’t. instead, he sighed, frustration heavy in his voice.

“let’s just… call it a night.” he ran a hand through his hair, the others silently agreeing, even though sleep seemed impossible.

you turned and walked out without another word, your footsteps echoing down the cold, metal corridor. the dull throb behind your eyes pulsed in time with the tension still hanging in the air. everything felt too tight, too close. the once-familiar hallways now felt suffocating, closing in on you with every step.

when you reached your quarters, the temptation to lock yourself away was overwhelming. all you wanted was space—any kind of break from the constant pressure, from them.

you slid down against the door, letting the cool surface steady you. closing your eyes, you tried to will the headache away, but it stayed, just like everything else.

you didn’t think it could get any worse, but it did.

the ship’s hum, once soothing, now grated on your nerves like nails on a chalkboard. the dim lights barely pierced the darkness, casting jagged shadows that made the room feel more like a cage than a sanctuary.

now that you thought about it, the hours blurred together, each one more unbearable than the last. frustration grew with every second. each morning was a repeat of the last—everyone keeping their distance, their eyes lingering too long on you, simmering with tension that never seemed to break. the fight that happened only made things worse. waiting it out wasn’t helping—it was a ticking time bomb.

hq, oblivious to the storm brewing inside the ship, continued with their routine updates, spewing rehearsed bullshit. they couldn’t see how the crew was falling apart—the heated glances, the touches that felt like fire, the way everyone was one misstep from tearing each other apart. but it couldn't last too much longer, right?

jungwon was doing his best to keep it together, but even his usual calm was cracking. his eyes darkened every time they flicked toward you, his jaw clenched tighter with every passing interaction. he was feeling it just as much as the rest—just better at hiding it. for now.

jake? he was a fucking mess. he hardly spoke, keeping to himself, but the tension around him was like a live wire. he was always there, always watching, his gaze burning into you from across the room. he wanted you—needed you—and the drugs were turning that need into something nearly uncontrollable.

subtlety? sunghoon was done with that. every conversation felt like a battle. his sharp, biting words barely hid the hunger in his eyes. he wasn’t playing games anymore. the tension between you two was a powder keg waiting to explode. his irritation was impossible to miss when jungwon or jake stepped in—his possessiveness simmered just beneath the surface, ready to boil over.

heeseung kept his distance, but his watchful gaze never left you. he was calculating, waiting for the right moment. more than once, you caught him staring, his expression unreadable, but the intensity in his eyes spoke volumes. he was just as deep in this mess—he was just better at keeping his desires under control.

and jay? fuck. he claimed he was "backing off," but that was bullshit. he might’ve kept his physical distance, but his presence was suffocating. his eyes always found yours, and for just a split second, you saw the raw hunger before he hid it. he wasn’t fooling anyone, least of all you.

the air on the ship was suffocating. every meal, every briefing was thick with tension. conversations were clipped, bodies stiff, movements calculated to avoid any accidental contact. but their eyes lingered, their restraint slipping. everyone was fucking cracking.

then there were the drugs. goddamn the drugs. coursing through your veins, amplifying everything until you couldn’t think straight. your senses were overloaded—their scent, the heat from their bodies when they got too close, the way a glance sent shivers down your spine. it was too much. everything was too fucking much.

you were in the last 24 hours, the countdown to what felt like an eternity of agonizing, drug-fueled fever dream that had turned the ship into a pressure cooker.

you woke up, your body ablaze, every inch of your skin tingling with raw, desperate need. it was leaving you breathless and trembling. your hand slid over your heated skin, but it wasn’t enough.

all you could think about was them—each one of them—and the way their hunger for you was growing, spiraling out of control.

your hand moved between your thighs, a soft moan escaping your lips as you tried to ease the ache gnawing at you from the inside. but it wasn’t enough. nothing was enough.

you needed them—all of them. their hands, their mouths, their bodies. you imagined their touch, the heat of their breath against your skin, and it sent a shiver down your spine.

the ship was silent, but you knew you weren’t the only one awake, fighting the same losing battle. you could hear it—the quiet creaks of the bunks, the muffled sounds of frustration, the ragged breathing as they struggled to hold on to the last remnants of control.

you stumbled into the dining area, your body buzzing with pent-up tension, the dull throb of desire pulling at your every nerve. even the brush of your arm against the cold metal wall sent a jolt through you, making you bite your lip against the overwhelming ache deep in your core.

this was hell.

"good morning," you managed, your voice shaking, betraying the sleepless night that had left you on edge.

sunghoon, standing by the counter, clutched his coffee mug with trembling hands, the usual calm on his face shattered, replaced by raw frustration. his knuckles were white, gripping the porcelain as if it was the only thing anchoring him. “morning,” he grunted, his voice rough, thick with need. “this shit’s worse than we fucking expected.”

you slid into a chair, avoiding their eyes, but the tension in the room was impossible to ignore. you were the epicenter of this storm, and pretending otherwise was pointless. little did you know this would be the last relatively calm moment before everything unraveled.

jake stormed into the room, his easygoing demeanor nowhere to be found. frustration was etched into every line of his face, his movements aggressive as his eyes locked on you with a predatory gleam. he slammed a stack of papers onto the table, the sound echoing harshly in the confined space.

“how much longer are we supposed to deal with this?” he snapped, voice raw and barely restrained. “it’s driving me fucking insane.”

“tell me something i don’t know, jake,” you shot back, your own patience frayed. the words came out sharper than intended, but you were on edge. the drug was messing with your mind, and their relentless focus on you wasn’t helping.

jake’s eyes flared as he stepped closer, fists clenched. “watch your tone,” he warned, his voice low, simmering with frustration.

you leaned back in your chair, a smirk tugging at your lips. “my tone?” you shot back, voice dripping with sarcasm. “you’re the one losing it, jake. if you can’t handle a little attitude, maybe you’re in the wrong place.”

before jake could respond, jay stormed into the room, his usual calm shattered. desperation was clear in his eyes as he approached, tension radiating from him with every step.

“we need to call hq now,” he growled, his gaze sharp. “i’ve jerked off eleven times, and i’m still hard as fuck. this shit’s unbearable.”

jungwon entered next, his fists clenched, jaw set tight enough to make his teeth grind. the room grew even more suffocating with his presence.

“i can’t even get off,” he muttered darkly, frustration heavy in his voice. “is fucking you the only solution-”

you rolled your eyes, pushing your chair back. “oh, please.”

jungwon’s eyes darkened, his irritation barely contained. “cut me off again, and i’ll make sure your mouth’s too busy to even breathe,” he threatened, his voice cold.

“it’s affecting all of us,” jake growled, stepping closer, his frustration simmering. “and it’s your fault. everything about you—your scent, your presence—I’m about to fucking lose it.” his voice trembled with barely restrained need.

the tension was unbearable, pressing in from all sides. sunghoon slammed his clipboard onto the table, the sharp sound breaking the thick silence.

“you don’t get it,” he snarled, his voice a low growl. “every breath, every second near you—it’s driving me insane. all I want is to bury my dick in you, over and over.”

jake moved closer, his breath hot against your neck. “you think you’re keeping it together?” he whispered, voice thick with desperation. “i’m losing my mind. just being near you is fucking torture. i’m this close to throwing you on this table and fucking you until you can’t think.”

his words sent a shiver down your spine, fear and excitement tangling together as you stepped back—right into jay’s chest. his hands gripped your shoulders, steadying you but trapping you in place.

“back off, jake,” jay snarled, his grip tightening, eyes burning with possessiveness.

“shut the fuck up,” jake spat, shoving jay hard enough to make him stumble. the air crackled with tension as they squared off, ready to fight or fuck.

jungwon leaned against the wall, a smirk playing on his lips. “enjoying this, y/n?” he taunted, his voice laced with sadistic pleasure. “watching us lose control, tearing each other apart over you? must be fun, knowing you can take your pick whenever you want.”

you gripped the edge of the table, knuckles white as you fought to keep control over the storm raging inside you. "i didn’t ask for this fucking chaos," you spat, glaring at jungwon, your voice trembling with barely contained frustration.

sunghoon moved closer, his presence suffocating, eyes burning with a mix of fury and lust. his breath was hot against your skin as he growled through clenched teeth, “i fucking swear, y/n. you’re going to beg me to stop,” his voice low and threatening, “and then beg me not to.”

a violent shiver ran down your spine, your body reacting to the intensity of his words, the heat between your legs growing unbearable.

jake groaned, leaning in even closer, his voice shaking with desperation. "just one touch, please. you don’t understand how bad this is. i’m aching all over, and looking at you is fucking killing me." his words hung in the air, his need palpable, making your pulse race.

just the sound of their voices had you soaked, arousal dripping down your thighs as you sat down, the sticky mess squishing uncomfortably against the cold steel beneath you.

your legs trembled as you squeezed them together, desperate for any relief from the ache building inside you.

"shut up," you whispered, barely audible, but they heard. the raw need in your voice made everyone freeze for a moment, their breathing heavy. "just fucking shut up."

the simple act of rubbing your legs together for friction sent a wave of sensation through you, and they noticed. the low groans they let out were enough to make your heart skip a beat.

heeseung, who had been watching from the sidelines, finally stepped forward. his eyes dark with desire, he towered over you, his voice dangerously low.

"can’t believe getting talked down on made you wet," he murmured, leaning down until his lips brushed your ear, sending a shockwave of heat through your body. "it’s crazy how after all this, you still don’t get how far we’re willing to go. you have no fucking idea, y/n."

his words made you shudder, your breath catching as the throbbing between your legs intensified. your thighs clenched tighter, but it only worsened the ache, the wetness pooling between your legs making it impossible to think straight.

everything was spiraling out of control. every fiber of your being screamed for release, for something—anything—to break this unbearable tension.

“we can’t keep this going,” you breathed out, your voice barely steady, chest heaving as you fought to regain control over yourself. the weight of their eyes on you felt overwhelming, each of them watching, waiting, ready to snap.

jay, pacing restlessly, let out a low, dangerous chuckle. “oh, but we can,” he muttered darkly, his gaze locked on you like a predator closing in. “this isn’t about control anymore, y/n. we’re past that. pick someone. now. before this blows up in ways you won’t like.” his voice was thick with impatience, his words vibrating with raw, untamed desire. well, it appeared that the fight yesterday and the conversation about backing off went right out the fucking window. whatever thin thread of self-control they had clung to had snapped, leaving the room simmering with tension.

there was no more pretending, no more playing along with the idea that this was just a temporary phase to ride out.

"fuck this," sunghoon growled, patience shattered as he yanked your chair toward him, his frame looming over you, heat radiating off his body. his eyes burned with frustration, and hunger.

“you think you can keep teasing us?” his voice dripped with venom. “sitting there, soaked, trembling—like we wouldn’t fucking notice?” his tone dropped, dangerous and possessive. “shit, you look like you’re about to piss yourself.”

the second his hands gripped your thighs, your body jolted, heat flooding through you, your moan spilling out louder than you intended. sunghoon’s grip tightened as he pushed your legs apart, revealing the soaked mess of your uniform.

cold air brushed against your skin, and you shuddered, but worse than that was the room’s collective reaction—their eyes locking onto the wetness between your legs.

“fuck,” sunghoon muttered under his breath, fingers digging into your skin as he stared down, primal need flashing across his face. his body went taut, every muscle coiled with tension.

the others reacted just as violently. jake slammed his fist into the table with a loud crash. jay knocked a chair over, sending it clattering to the floor. heeseung gripped the counter, knuckles white, his jaw clenched as if he were on the verge of snapping.

“look at what you’ve fucking done,” jay muttered, pacing, his voice low and dangerous. “you’re driving us insane.”

the air buzzed with electricity. sunghoon’s hands didn’t leave your body, his grip firm, possessive. he leaned closer, eyes flicking between your flushed face and your legs spread before him.

“this isn’t going to end how you think,” he whispered darkly. "you’re not walking away from this, not when you’re this desperate."

sunghoon dropped to his knees in front of you, his hands moving with reckless desperation, tearing at your soaked pants. the fabric ripped easily, leaving you exposed, vulnerable. the cold air on your skin only amplified the heat coursing through your body, the throbbing ache between your legs unbearable.

for a second, all you could hear were your own ragged breaths and sunghoon’s, both of you caught in the intensity of the moment. his eyes were fixed on the wetness between your thighs, his tongue darting out as he stared at your pathetic excuse of panties, barely holding together.

but then, chaos.

jake lunged forward, grabbing sunghoon by the collar and yanking him away with a feral snarl. "dude, stop!" jake’s voice was raw, frustration boiling over as he shoved sunghoon back, his face twisted with anger and jealousy.

heeseung followed, stepping in, eyes blazing as he pushed sunghoon further. “are you fucking insane?” he growled, fists clenched, the restraint in his voice hanging by a thread.

sunghoon staggered back, his eyes wide and wild, trying to process everything. "make up your damn minds!" he snapped, voice shaky.

jay, pacing furiously, kicked a chair, sending it skidding across the room with a loud crash. "you’re not getting first fucking dibs, sunghoon!" he spat, barely holding his anger in check.

sunghoon, trembling and panting, made another move toward you, his hand reaching out, but jake grabbed him, his grip tight. "back off, man," jake growled, his voice low, eyes hard.

you shook, heart pounding as you watched them unravel. their raw frustration, the hunger in their eyes—it was overwhelming. your body quivered, every nerve on fire, the heat of their desire pressing down on you.

sunghoon’s eyes met yours again, wild with need. he wasn’t giving up.

you glanced down at yourself—disheveled, thighs still slick, body a mess. you wanted this, god, you wanted it so badly it hurt. the craving burned through you, desperate for their touch, for their bodies against yours.

but then the thought of pregnancy cut through the haze—being filled by all of them. that was the only thing stopping you from fully surrendering.

on shaky legs, you stood, gripping the table for support. the room was heavy with silence, the tension unbearable. their eyes were locked on you, devouring every inch, their frustration and need a mirror to your own.

you were barely holding it together, torn clothes clinging to your sweat-soaked body, but you couldn’t let them see you break.

the quiet stretched, thick and suffocating, every second dragging out as the weight of what just happened hung between you all. your breath hitched, chest tight, trying to stay calm.

then jungwon spoke, breaking through the suffocating tension.

"fuck, this isn’t working anymore," he said, voice low, strained. his eyes lingered on you briefly before shifting to the others. "i didn’t think i’d say this… but follow me."

the atmosphere shifted instantly. confusion flickered across their faces as they glanced between each other. your heart raced, unsure what jungwon meant—unsure what was about to happen.

"where?" jake asked, his voice sharp.

jungwon’s jaw clenched, frustration evident. “just follow me,” he repeated, more firmly this time, his calm starting to crack.

jay stepped forward, glaring at him. "where the hell are you taking us?"

"the greenhouse," jungwon answered, his tone tight, barely keeping his composure.

“the greenhouse?” jake echoed, his disbelief momentarily cutting through the tension. “what the fuck are we gonna do in the greenhouse?”

"just... trust me," jungwon snapped, his eyes locking onto each of them in turn. you could see how hard he was fighting to hold it together. "we can’t stay here. it’s only gonna get worse."

the words hung in the air, the tension thickening. for a moment, no one moved, uncertain. the greenhouse was isolated, quiet, but why take everyone there now?

reluctantly, they exchanged looks. the tension was unbearable; staying here was a risk. one by one, they followed jungwon out of the common room, frustration simmering beneath the surface, but trusting his judgment enough to go along.

jungwon glanced at you, his voice softer now. "come on." something flickered in his eyes—something unreadable.

your heart pounded, but you nodded, taking a shaky breath as you followed, unsure if leaving would ease the tension—or make it worse.

as you all walked, the silence stretched out between you like a taut wire. no one spoke. the only sound was the soft echo of footsteps through the narrow corridors. they kept their distance, eyes focused ahead, but you could feel the weight of their gazes trailing after you, their restraint barely holding.

your legs trembled with every step, the cool air brushing against your exposed skin only sharpened the sensations, your torn uniform clinging to your damp body.

you were still soaked, your thighs slick and uncomfortable, the heat between your legs impossible to ignore.

would the greenhouse ease the tension? or was this just delaying the inevitable?

as you stepped inside, the usual peace of the greenhouse was lost on you. the soft glow of the lights and the lush plants that surrounded you faded into the background.

all you could focus on was the pulse between your legs, the tension hanging thick in the air between you and the others. each of them was fighting their own battle, their barely-controlled desire palpable.

you all spread out, keeping a foot of distance between one another, but it felt pointless.

no one spoke. jungwon moved to the far end, his back turned to the group, hands fumbling through the drawers, the soft clink of metal breaking the silence.

you watched him, trying desperately to focus on anything but the ache inside you. every second that passed felt like an eternity.

his fingers brushed over something soft—a silky texture—and he froze. you saw his posture stiffen, his jaw clench, and you didn’t need to see what he was holding to know it was something dangerous.

it was a baby pink silk restraint. his hand lingered on it for a moment, his breath catching before he muttered a curse under his breath.

god, it would look so good on you, he thought, frustration flickering across his face as he bit back whatever dark thought had formed. but not yet. his fingers slid past the restraints with a clenched jaw, reaching for something else.

he grasped a vacuum-sealed pack of leaves, pulling them out carefully. your breath hitched, mind racing with questions, but you stayed silent. then, he grabbed a small glass test tube, snapped the ends off, leaving tiny holes on both sides. what the hell was he doing? there was a clinical precision to his movements, but the tension in his body told you he was just as affected as everyone else.

“this should help,” he muttered, mostly to himself. his voice was tight, strained. though he wasn’t looking at you, his clenched jaw and white-knuckled grip on the glass were telltale signs he was barely holding it together.

his words hung in the air, and something about them felt wrong. the room froze, confusion settling over everyone as they glanced between him and the odd supplies he was handling.

“fucking weed?” jake’s voice sliced through the tension, disbelief and frustration spilling out. his glare locked onto jungwon. “you had weed this whole fucking time?”

the already thick atmosphere tightened further. all eyes turned to jungwon, their shock mirrored in expressions of disbelief.

“you’ve been sitting on this while we’ve been going insane?” heeseung scoffed, his restraint unraveling as anger simmered in his voice. “what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“what the hell, jungwon?” jay muttered, pacing furiously, running a hand through his hair. “you had something that could’ve helped while we’ve been losing our goddamn minds?”

jungwon, still focused on the leaves, barely glanced up. “you think i was sitting on this for fun?” his tone was tight, laced with frustration.

“this isn’t some regular plant. it’s from an alien planet. i had to be sure it wouldn’t mess with whatever experimental crap they pumped us full of.”

sunghoon, who had been unsettlingly silent until now, stepped forward, his eyes burning with fury as he glared down at jungwon. "so you waited until we’re this close to tearing each other apart to bring this up?" his voice was low, dangerous, barely restrained.

“it’s not that simple,” jungwon snapped, holding up the plant like it was a fragile artifact. “this thing could either help or completely screw us if it reacts badly.”

“you could’ve fixed this sooner,” jake growled, his fists clenched at his sides, stepping closer, frustration boiling over. “what the hell were you waiting for? an invitation?”

jungwon didn’t flinch. his eyes were sharp, jaw tight as he stood his ground. “you want to keep losing your shit?” his voice cut through the tension, hard and challenging.

he scanned the room, meeting each glare with a look that dared them to push further. the silence stretched between them, thick with unsaid threats. no one spoke, but the air crackled with tension.

the anger that had been fueling them all seemed to hit a wall, the realization settling in that despite their frustrations, they had no choice but to trust jungwon. the weight of it hung heavy in the air, no one willing to admit it out loud, but the decision had already been made.

“fine,” jay muttered darkly, glaring at jungwon. “but if this doesn’t work, you are the first one we’re coming after.”

the room was still buzzing with tension, but it seemed like, for now, they were willing to let jungwon do his thing.

you let out a small sigh, rubbing a hand over your face. “i’d kill for some indica right now,” you muttered under your breath, not realizing it until the words were already out.

there was a pause before a chorus of chuckles broke the silence. jake raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips as the tension finally eased, just a little. even jay, still pacing, let out a low, reluctant laugh, shaking his head.

“never figured you for a stoner, y/n,” heeseung chimed in from his spot, leaning back with a hint of amusement in his voice. his eyes flicked to you, playful, though the tension between you wasn’t entirely gone.

"guess there’s still a lot we don’t know about her," jungwon muttered, a smirk tugging at his lips as he glanced over at you, the dark intensity in his eyes softening into something more amused.

your comment had loosened the grip of tension that had everyone on edge, even if only for a moment. everyone seemed to breathe a little easier, their anger simmering into something manageable.

“indica, huh?” sunghoon finally spoke up, shaking his head with a slight smirk. “figured you’d be more of a sativa type, to be honest.”

“nah,” you replied with a half-hearted shrug, feeling more at ease as the mood shifted. “i like to be relaxed, not bouncing off the walls.”

jake snorted, running a hand through his hair. “well, let’s hope jungwon’s got the good stuff, or we’re all fucked.”

jungwon rolled his eyes, his hands still working quickly on the mixture, though you caught a flicker of a smile at the corner of his lips. “if this works, you’ll all be thanking me soon enough.”

heeseung leaned forward, his eyes sharp as they locked on jungwon. “so what, you haven’t tried it yourself?”

jungwon didn’t look up from his task, fingers deftly moving, but the brief pause before he answered brought the tension creeping back into the room. “no, not exactly.”

jake’s eyebrow shot up. “not exactly? the hell does that mean?”

jungwon sighed, the annoyance clear in his voice. “i’ve done the research. i know the compounds, and it’s designed to counteract the enhancement drug they’ve been giving us. i just haven’t had a reason to use it yet.”

“so we’re the fucking guinea pigs now?” jay scoffed, his frustration bubbling back to the surface.

jungwon huffed, his voice edged with irritation. “i haven’t smoked a day in my life, alright? but i’m smart enough to know it’s got the compounds to calm us down.”

the room fell silent for a beat before jake let out a disbelieving laugh, shaking his head. “so you’ve never smoked, and now we’re trusting you to dose us with some alien space weed? you’ve gotta be kidding me.”

sunghoon, arms crossed, still fuming, shot jungwon a glare. “so, what? we’re supposed to just hope you don’t screw this up?” his voice was sharp, dripping with irritation. “you really think we’re gonna go along with this when you don’t even know if it’s gonna work?”

jungwon’s jaw clenched, eyes flicking between them, clearly over their shit. “do any of you have a goddamn degree?” he snapped, not even looking up as his hands worked swiftly.

“because last time i checked, i’m the one with a background in biochemistry. so unless you’re secretly holding out on some phd in alien botany, shut the hell up and let me do my job.”

sunghoon's glare didn’t waver, but the sharp edge of his frustration dulled for a moment as jungwon's words hit. there was a flicker of acknowledgment in the silence that followed.

jake, however, wasn’t ready to let it go so easily. “yeah, well, last time i checked, your degree didn’t come with a guarantee this alien weed won’t mess us up even more,” he quipped, arms crossed, but there was a slight grin tugging at his lips.

jungwon rolled his eyes, finally looking up, clearly done with their bullshit. “you want to keep arguing, or do you want to get out of this without tearing each other to pieces?” he shot back, his patience visibly thinning. “because i’d love to stand here and debate this, but we don’t exactly have time for a fucking TED talk.”

heeseung, who had been watching from the sidelines, let out a low chuckle.

“fine, doc. we’ll shut up and let you save the day with your alien potions. but if this goes sideways…”

jungwon cut him off, deadpan. “yeah, yeah. you’ll all come for my ass. i’ve heard it. now, can we get on with it?”

sunghoon’s jaw tightened, his eyes narrowing on jungwon, but he didn’t push any further, taking a step back with a begrudging sigh. “just don’t screw this up.”

jungwon stayed focused on his task, ignoring their complaints. "if we get through this without killing each other, it’ll be a miracle," he muttered, his hands working swiftly over the alien plant like it was routine.

jake snorted, watching jungwon carefully, though some of the tension had eased. "if we do, you’re never living this down."

jungwon shot him a quick glare. "good thing i don’t give a shit about your approval, huh?"

the room remained thick with tension as jungwon sealed the mixture and set it aside. everyone was on edge, eyes shifting between you and jungwon, frustrations bubbling just beneath the surface.

sunghoon’s arms tightened across his chest, his jaw clenched. "so what now, jungwon? gonna roll it up and hope it works?"

jungwon shot him a sharp look, pulling out a small device. "no rolling. we’re vaporizing it. faster, cleaner. you’ll feel it in minutes." his voice was steady, but the tightness in his posture showed he was feeling the strain, just like the rest of you.

heeseung chuckled under his breath, his foot tapping against the floor. "minutes, huh? guess we won’t have to wait long to find out if it works."

jay, who had been pacing, paused, his eyes narrowing as he turned toward you. "what about you, y/n?" he asked, his tone pointed. "you trust jungwon with this? or are you as skeptical as the rest of us?"

you swallowed, your voice quieter than you intended. "i don’t know," you admitted, glancing at jungwon. "but we don’t have any other options."

sunghoon grunted from his spot against the wall, his gaze sweeping over you. "yeah, well, this better work. because if it doesn’t, i don’t know how much longer i can keep my hands off you." his voice was low, frustration and desire mixing into a dangerous edge.

jake, still glaring at jungwon, crossed his arms. "let’s just get this over with."

jungwon nodded, his movements precise as he set up the vaporizer. the tension thickened in the room, each second stretching as everyone waited for the first hit, anticipation hanging in the air like a storm about to break.

finally, jungwon took the first hit, exhaling slowly as the vapor filled the room. “one at a time,” he said, passing it to jake. “just try not to lose control yet, alright?”

jake inhaled deeply, his eyes flicking toward you, though his expression remained hard. the vapor passed through the group, each taking their turn as the scent thickened in the air.

when it reached you, you hesitated before lifting the device to your lips. the warm vapor filled your lungs, and for a moment, nothing changed.

then, you felt it—a subtle shift.

the tension in your body eased slightly, the tightness in your chest loosening. the ache in your core dulled just enough for you to breathe easier. you exhaled, the weight still there, but lighter.

"anyone feel anything yet?" jungwon asked, scanning the group, his own face showing a bit of relief.

jay leaned back, exhaling. "not gonna lie, jungwon. if this works, i’ll take back all the shit i said."

sunghoon, his eyes still locked on you, let out a low breath. "it’s working… but this is just the beginning, isn’t it?"

heeseung, now more relaxed, nodded slowly, the relentless tapping of his foot finally stopping. "yeah… it’s taking the edge off, but it’s not gonna keep us from snapping completely."

jungwon’s jaw tightened, but he gave a small nod. "it’ll help us hold on. that’s all we need for now."

as the minutes passed, the atmosphere in the room began to shift. the sharpness of desperation started to fade, replaced by a warmth that slowly spread through your body, relaxing muscles that had been tight for what felt like hours. the effect settled in like a haze, making everything feel slower, softer.

sunghoon, who had been rigid with frustration, let out a low chuckle, leaning his head back against the wall. "shit... this actually feels kinda good," he muttered, a hint of surprise in his voice.

jake, still leaning against the table, blinked a few times, his frown fading into something more relaxed. "yeah..." he murmured, a lazy grin forming on his face as he glanced around. "this is... better."

heeseung, who had been sitting tensely moments before, now leaned back in his chair, a slow, amused smile spreading across his face. "jungwon, man... you actually did something here," he said, his voice lighter, a bit dazed. the others were clearly feeling the high too.

jay, who had been pacing earlier, was now casually leaning against the wall, his usual dark intensity replaced by a half-smirk. "yeah, i’ll admit... didn’t expect this. i feel... fucking mellow." he laughed, running a hand through his hair as if he was still trying to process it.

jungwon, the most tightly wound of them all, finally looked up from his seat, his expression softening with a mix of relief and satisfaction. "it’s working," he said, his voice low and smooth, clearly feeling the effects himself. even his usual controlled posture had relaxed, his eyes slightly glassy.

you felt it too—the pressure that had been suffocating you for days seemed to melt away, replaced by a warm, buzzing sensation under your skin. the tension that had gripped your body so tightly was gone, and you were undeniably high. the lightness in your limbs was intoxicating.

sunghoon chuckled again, his gaze shifting to you. "you look like you’re finally not about to explode," he teased, his voice softer, the sharp edge gone. "how’s it feel, y/n?"

you couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh, the tightness in your chest loosening. "better," you admitted, leaning back, feeling their eyes on you, but without the suffocating intensity from before. "a lot better."

jake grinned lazily, his shoulders slumping as he settled into a more comfortable stance. "so this is what it feels like to not be two seconds away from losing it," he muttered, more to himself than anyone.

heeseung stretched out in his chair, his foot tapping finally still. "yeah, i could get used to this," he drawled, a slow grin spreading across his face. for the first time in days, he wasn’t on the verge of snapping.

jungwon, who’d been quiet, looked over at you, his eyes softer, the tension gone from his voice. "told you it would help," he said, a small smile tugging at his lips.

jay chuckled, shaking his head. "fuck, jungwon, you really had us doubting you. might be the best idea you’ve had."

sunghoon, still watching you, smirked lazily, his gaze no longer sharp but relaxed. "we should’ve gotten high sooner. would’ve saved a lot of trouble."

the room felt different—lighter. the tension that had suffocated everyone for days was replaced by a calm that had been missing. it wasn’t completely gone, but the edge had softened, smoothed out by the haze now filling the air. for the first time in what felt like forever, you could breathe.

"shit, we’ve got weed in space," jake muttered, laughing under his breath, his words slurred slightly. "if this ain’t the best thing ever... how the hell are we supposed to work now?" he leaned back against the table, a lazy grin on his face. "i don’t even want to touch a holo-pad."

jay chuckled again, his body loose as he glanced around. "yeah, fuck the mission for a second."

you caught jay’s eyes lingering on you, his gaze soft but still intense. he smirked, pushing off the wall, taking a slow step toward you, his eyes locked on yours. "shit, y/n... you look real pretty right now," he murmured, his voice dropping into a low rumble, the high relaxing him completely.

heeseung chuckled, nodding in agreement. "he’s not wrong... the weed’s hitting, and damn, you’re glowing." his voice was smoother now, the usual restraint gone, replaced with easy confidence.

sunghoon leaned in slightly, a slow grin spreading across his face. "yeah, this is... nice," he muttered, his gaze heavy with the haze but carrying a new kind of appreciation.

jungwon, clearly struggling to keep it together, was out of his element. his lips kept twitching, fighting off a laugh as his eyes darted around the room, wide and a little glassy, trying to maintain his usual calm demeanor.

you watched him press his lips together, body stiff as he fought the high. but when jake caught sight of him, it was over.

"holy shit—jungwon’s gone," jake laughed, loud and carefree. "look at him! man’s trying so hard not to fucking giggle, it’s killing him."

jay doubled over, slapping the wall as he tried to stay upright. "oh my god, he’s losing it," he gasped between laughs, pointing at jungwon, whose face had turned pink.

sunghoon shook his head, chuckling low. "dude, just let it out," he teased, enjoying watching jungwon squirm.

jungwon couldn’t hold back anymore. with a breathless laugh, he broke, his shoulders shaking as he buried his face in his hands. "fuck," he muttered, still laughing. "this is ridiculous."

everyone in the room joined in, the tension that had been building for days finally shattering. heeseung leaned back, laughing with the rest as jungwon gave in to the high.

"beginner’s luck, huh?" heeseung grinned, wiping a tear from his eye. "never thought i’d see you like this, jungwon."

jungwon, still giggling, waved them off. "shut up," he managed, his voice cracking with amusement. "this wasn’t supposed to go like this."

laughter filled the greenhouse, the heavy atmosphere replaced by a much-needed sense of relief. it was messy, chaotic, but for the first time in what felt like forever, it didn’t feel like everything was falling apart.

"so... i gotta ask," you said, breaking through the haze of laughter, your tone teasing. their attention snapped back to you, giggles fading as you continued.

"i get you guys hella horny, don’t i?" you grinned, the boldness of your words catching them off guard, a smirk spreading across your face. "when did it start?"

the room fell silent for a split second as your bold question lingered in the air, their eyes widening, expressions shifting from shock to amusement. the haze of the high made the moment even more surreal, everyone too relaxed to hide their reactions.

heeseung, the first to break the silence, let out a low laugh, stretching lazily in his chair. “damn, y/n, you really don't hold back with the questions,” he shot you a smirk, his tone dripping with that lazy confidence that came from the weed.

“but, i'mnot gonna lie, it’s been a while. you walking around like that didn’t make it easy either.”

jay, still leaning against the wall, raised an eyebrow at you, his lips curling into a mischievous grin. “yeah, we’ve been dealing with this shit for a minute,” he admitted, his voice smooth and casual, but there was no mistaking the way his eyes raked over you. “you’re not exactly easy to ignore.”

sunghoon, always the one to speak his mind, leaned forward, his smirk matching jay’s. “she’s asking for specifics,” he teased, his voice low, playful.

“when did it start? if you really want to know... it’s been there since the beginning.” his gaze softened as he added.

jungwon, still recovering from his laughing fit, cleared his throat, his face a little pink, though he tried to play it cool.

you laughed, the sound bright and a little tipsy from the relaxed atmosphere. “oh, so that’s why all the frustration, huh?”

heeseung leaned back in his chair, the high loosening everyone up as he sighed, grinning lazily. “alright, fine, didn't think i'd ever admit this but...” he said, voice more serious but still playful.

“if i'm being completely honest, I’ve been watching you a lot longer than I’d like to admit.” he looked directly at you, his grin softening. “a bit of a... peep show, you could say.”

the room went dead quiet. your breath hitched, his confession sinking in. even the others, lost in their own buzz, snapped their attention to him in surprise.

“what?” jake muttered, wide-eyed.

heeseung shrugged, completely unbothered. “not proud of it, but yeah. i’d see you in your room, getting ready... lingered a little longer than I should have.”

you felt your face flush, heart racing as his words hit. heeseung had been watching you all this time. how?

“wait, you were spying on her?” jay’s voice held surprise, but no judgment.

heeseung nodded, no shame in his voice. “yeah, guess you could call it that. but y/n didn’t exactly make it easy.” his eyes glinted with that dark intensity again. “you were always right there, looking so damn good, almost like you wanted me to watch.”

sunghoon let out a low whistle, shaking his head. “so that’s why you’ve been extra wound up around her, huh? then avoiding her like the plague.”

heeseung chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “you have no idea.”

your stomach flipped, a swirl of shock and something darker, more thrilling, stirred inside you. “how long?” you asked quietly, the words slipping out before you could stop them.

heeseung met your gaze, his playful facade dropping for a moment. “long enough to know you’ve been driving me insane.”

"but i thought," you stammered, "wow, so from the start you've been trying to keep yourself in line. not like jake." you glanced at jake, who just smirked, shrugging.

heeseung chuckled, a deep sound that made your pulse spike. "that’s what i wanted you to think," he said, leaning back with a smug grin.

"i was careful. unlike jake—" he threw a playful glare at jake—"i didn’t let it get to me. well, not until recently."

“oh, come on,” jake muttered, clearly amused. “don’t act like you’re better than me. at least i didn’t spy on her.

jungwon, watching quietly, raised an eyebrow but stayed silent, observing.

your face burned as the puzzle pieces clicked into place. "so, all this time, you were just watching me? waiting for what?" your voice came out breathless, his confession settling heavily in the air.

heeseung’s grin widened, eyes darkening. "waiting for the right moment," he said smoothly. "waiting for you to realize none of us are as in control as you think."

"is this what people do when they’re high?" jungwon muttered, still sounding dazed, his wide eyes darting between you, heeseung, and the rest of the guys, struggling to keep up with the shift in mood.

jake snorted, rubbing his face as he tried to contain his laughter. "nah, man," he said, still chuckling, "this is what happens when we’ve been stuck in space too long, high as hell, and all our secrets start spilling out."

jay leaned against the wall, grinning. "welcome to the party, jungwon," he teased, giving him a playful nudge. "this is when shit gets real."

jungwon blinked rapidly, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe the conversation had shifted from calming down to confessions about spying and hidden desires. "i thought this was supposed to relax us, not... this," he mumbled to himself.

heeseung just laughed, clearly enjoying jungwon’s confusion. "nah, this is what happens when people get too comfortable. all the bottled-up shit comes out," he said, his gaze sliding back to you, still carrying that dark intensity. "and trust me, there’s a lot more to spill."

you smirked, leaning into the playful mood. "oh, we’re spilling secrets now? anyone else got something to confess while we’re riding this high?" your eyes gleamed with curiosity as you turned to jungwon. "how much of that stuff you got, jungwon? ’cause we could always smoke more."

jungwon stood up slowly, his posture loose, movements smooth. he looked so good right now, and you knew you weren’t hiding your thoughts well. your eyes traced the line of his shoulders, the easy way his body moved, and the heat of your gaze didn’t go unnoticed.

he caught your stare, but instead of calling you out, he just smirked, his eyes meeting yours with a knowing look that sent a shiver through you.

"you wanna know how much we’ve got?" his voice low and playful as he walked over to a small section of the greenhouse, gesturing to a tree standing tall with thick, lush leaves. "we’ve got a whole fucking tree."

the room went still for a beat before jake broke the silence with a disbelieving laugh. "you’ve been sitting on that this whole time?"

jay’s jaw dropped. "holy shit."

sunghoon ran a hand through his hair, laughing under his breath. "i thought this place was for ‘essential’ plants. guess that counts now, huh?"

jungwon shrugged, unfazed. "it’s part of my research. i made sure it’d be ready if we needed it." his gaze lingered on you a moment longer, his eyes dark, playful, and filled with quiet intensity.

you leaned back in your chair, laughing softly. "so we’ve got enough to keep this going?"

jungwon smirked, glancing back at the tree. "more than enough."

the room settled into a calm silence, everyone processing the absurdity of the situation—weed in space, a secret tree in the greenhouse, and a group of high, frustrated guys finally letting their guard down. It felt like something was about to break, but for now, it was almost... fun.

"so, what was in that vial you hid from me when i grabbed my kit?" you asked, narrowing your eyes at jungwon. the playful tone lingered, but curiosity slipped in. "i saw you stash it."

jungwon froze for a second, his eyes flickering with something unreadable. Instead of deflecting, though, his smirk grew wider, and he leaned against the wall, his gaze locking onto yours.

"smart girl," he said, his voice lower, more intimate. "no wonder i think about you more than i should." his eyes sparkled with something darker, sending a shiver down your spine.

the others groaned, rolling their eyes.

jake snorted. "finally, he flirts back. thought we were in for another lecture on compounds or some shit."

jay crossed his arms, shaking his head with a grin. "dude’s trying so hard to play it cool, but look at him—he's all grown up i'm gonna cry."

sunghoon leaned against the wall, laughing quietly. "guess even jungwon can’t resist."

jungwon shot them a glare, his smirk faltering for just a second before he composed himself, eyes flicking back to you. “don’t listen to these idiots,” he muttered, standing a little straighter. “but yeah… I might’ve kept that vial out of sight for a reason.”

you raised an eyebrow, curiosity spiking. “oh? and what’s in it?”

jungwon’s voice dropped, smooth but with a darker undertone. “did you really think i was that innocent?” he asked, tilting his head as he watched you closely. “i gave off that vibe from the start, didn’t i?”

you nodded, biting your lip, a shiver running down your spine. jungwon had always seemed so calm and composed—safe. but after that episode when he spanked you in your quarters you were already convinced he could be dangerous.

he leaned in just enough, voice low but loud enough for everyone to hear. “if we’re being honest, all i’ve been wanting to do is drug the fuck out of you and—” his lips curled into a wicked grin, “do whatever i want.”

the room froze.

every pair of eyes widened in shock, caught between disbelief and something darker.

“damn,” jake muttered, running a hand through his hair. “the fuck, jungwon?”

jay blinked, raising an eyebrow. “wow. didn’t expect that from you.”

sunghoon let out a low whistle, shaking his head, though a soft laugh escaped him. “we all knew you had some dark shit in you, but i didn’t think you’d just... say it.”

jungwon just shrugged, far too relaxed for someone who had just confessed something twisted. his eyes flicked back to you, heat radiating behind them, making your heart pound.

“so,” he said, smirking, “are we going to tell her we’ve been low-key scheming, or did you figure it out, y/n?” his voice was sharp, playful. “you’re smart—did you really buy my ‘nice guy’ act?”

sunghoon’s grin widened. “yeah, you didn’t think jungwon was that innocent, did you?”

you rolled your eyes, teasing. “i mean, the checking me out part was obvious—you guys didn’t even try to hide it. i just figured you were all perverts.” you paused, letting a smirk play on your lips.

leaning back in your chair, the tension in the air grew thicker, electric. “to be honest, though,” you added, voice light, “i liked knowing i could get you hard. it was fun.”

the room went dead silent again. shock, amusement, and lust mingled on their faces. they hadn’t expected that.

heeseung let out a low chuckle, his eyes darkening as he leaned in slightly. “well, at least you’re aware of your effect on us.”

jay raised his brows, a grin spreading as he ran a hand through his hair. “damn, y/n, didn’t think you’d just come out and say it like that.”

jake, unable to hold back his smirk, leaned forward. “so you like getting us worked up? that’s what all this teasing’s been about?”

sunghoon chuckled under his breath, though his gaze remained intense. “guess we’re getting more than we bargained for tonight.”

“yeah,” you replied confidently. “it was fun watching you squirm.”

the tension in the room was heavy now, thick with unspoken desire. you could feel the weight of their eyes on you, and it only made your skin tingle more.

"wow, this weed is definitely making it worse," you muttered, feeling the heat build inside you, the haze thickening the air around you. "sure, i don’t wanna fuck everyone’s brains out right now, but..."

your gaze drifted over them, the anticipation swirling in your stonmach. "it’s definitely getting me horny."

the atmosphere shifted, your words hanging in the air, making the tension in the room palpable. their reactions were instant—a flicker of barely-contained desire across their faces.

jake let out a low groan, leaning back against the table, eyes darkening. "you’re killing me, y/n," he muttered, rubbing a hand over his face, frustration clear. "you have no fucking idea."

jay chuckled, shaking his head. "we’re all barely holding it together, and you’re just sitting there, getting off on it?" his voice strained, fists clenched. "damn."

“gimme another hit, won,” you said, your voice dropping, teasing as you looked over at jungwon. your eyes locked, and the room seemed to still. the tension thickened, nearly unbearable.

jungwon blinked, not expecting your bold request, but his smirk quickly returned, eyes darker now. "you sure you can handle more, y/n?" his voice low, teasing but laced with warning. “we’re all on edge already.”

"yeah, i’m sure," you replied, holding his gaze. "let’s see if i can handle it."

the others watched with clear interest. jake raised an eyebrow, smirking. "shit, she’s going for more? that’s either brilliant or dangerous."

jungwon stepped closer, pulling out the vaporizer, his movements deliberate. “if you’re so eager,” he muttered, holding it out to you. your fingers brushed his as you took it, the brief contact sending a shiver through you.

you inhaled deeply, the warm haze filling your lungs, intensifying the heat and desire already coursing through you. the high hit harder this time, amplifying everything—the room felt hotter, the tension thicker.

“fuck,” you whispered, feeling the warmth spread through your body.

jungwon’s eyes never left you. "better?" he asked, voice tight like he was barely keeping it together.

you nodded, a smirk tugging at your lips. “yeah... but this,” you gestured at your ripped pants with a teasing grin, “this is uncomfortable.” your voice was thick with desire as your gaze drifted over the guys, taking in their reactions.

the room had grown unbearably hot, tension coiling tighter by the second. you sighed playfully, tilting your head. “mind if i strip a bit, boys?” you teased, not really waiting for permission, fingers already at the hem of your shirt. “love the gift, sunghoon, but it’s gotta go.”

sunghoon’s eyes widened, breath hitching as he leaned forward, gaze locked on you. “shit, y/n,” he muttered, voice trembling slightly. “you’re really doing this?”

jake groaned again, rubbing his face, clearly struggling. “fuck, she’s serious,” he muttered, voice thick with lust.

jay leaned back, eyes darker now, smirk still on his lips as he watched with a mix of hunger and amusement. “go ahead,” he drawled, voice low. “it’s your show.”

heeseung chuckled, watching as you slowly peeled off your clothes, revealing more skin. “well, this just got a hell of a lot more interesting,” he muttered, voice dripping with desire.

you felt their eyes on you, tracking every movement as you slipped out of your uniform, the cool air hitting your heated skin. the tension was almost suffocating as they watched, captivated by every inch you revealed.

“much better,” you teased, letting your clothes drop, now standing in just your shirt and underwear. their stares were heavy with unmistakable hunger.

"how many more hours we got?" you asked, voice laced with anticipation, your gaze flicking between them, all barely holding on.

heeseung glanced at the time, his eyes never leaving you. “twenty hours,” he muttered, voice rough with frustration.

jake groaned, his head dropping into his hands. “twenty more hours? we’re not gonna fucking make it.”

sunghoon’s eyes were glued to you, his breath shaky. “twenty hours... and you’re already stripping? how the fuck are we supposed to keep it together?”

jay chuckled, but his eyes were dark with desire. “shit, we barely held out this long, and now you’re making it harder—literally.”

you smirked, still buzzing from the high, their heated stares making your pulse quicken. “just wanted to make things... interesting,” you said, your voice dripping with challenge. “let’s see if you can last another twenty hours.”

"pass it," jake muttered, finally caving, knowing they needed something to take the edge off. his voice strained, tension clear as he reached for the vaporizer, his fingers brushing yours.

sunghoon groaned. "give it here,” he growled, rubbing his neck, clearly struggling for control. “if we’re stuck like this, might as well get fucked up.”

as the vaporizer made its rounds, the atmosphere shifted again. the weed wasn’t dulling their desire—it was amplifying it. their eyes lingered longer, the raw need in the air thickening.

you watched them, heart racing, body humming with anticipation. “looks like it’s gonna be a long night,” you murmured, your voice soft but full of challenge, daring them to hold on.

heeseung took a slow hit from the vaporizer, holding it in as he watched you, mischief glinting in his eyes. with a smirk, he leaned forward, voice low and teasing. “wanna shotgun?”

the room went silent, everyone’s attention snapping to you and heeseung. his suggestion hung in the air, thick with tension and curiosity.

your heart skipped a beat, the heat of his offer rushing through your veins. he was testing you, and they were all watching.

jake raised an eyebrow, leaning in, his grin widening. “shit... are we really doing this?”

sunghoon chuckled darkly, his eyes locked on you. “she’s not saying no.” jay’s smirk grew, arms crossed as he leaned back, watching.

you bit your lip, locking eyes with heeseung. “fuck it,” you said, your tone matching his. “let’s do it.”

heeseung’s smirk widened, and he moved closer, taking another slow hit from the vaporizer. without breaking eye contact, he leaned in, his face inches from yours, the heat between you nearly suffocating.

you closed the distance, taking the smoke from him as he exhaled. the proximity made your pulse race, the moment electric, charged with a new kind of tension.

as you finished inhaling, heeseung didn’t hesitate. his lips crashed against yours, his tongue sliding past your lips in a kiss that was hungry, overwhelming. a low, sensual groan escaped you, the heat of the moment making your body buzz, his mouth moving against yours with a fiery intensity.

his hands gripped your waist, pulling you closer, his body pressing into yours. but after what felt like both too long and not nearly long enough, he pulled away, his lips hovering close to yours as he caught his breath, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

you let out a breathless laugh, eyes half-lidded, a lazy smirk playing on your lips. "feels like i’m back in college," you teased, voice rough, dripping with satisfaction.

heeseung wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, his thumb brushing your bottom lip before pulling back. “shit, y/n,” he muttered, breathless. “you’re making this so fucking hard.”

the tension in the room spiked as the others watched, eyes glued to the aftermath of the kiss. everything had shifted—the air heavier, pulses quickening.

jake shifted in his seat, swallowing hard, a raw edge to his voice. "fuck... i’m jealous," he muttered with a grin, though it didn’t hide the need in his gaze. "you always go that hard?"

jay leaned forward, shaking his head, still clearly amused. "that was fucking hot."

sunghoon, his eyes dark and locked on you, clenched his jaw and let out a low laugh. "heeseung’s got some balls. damn."

jungwon, who had been quiet the whole time, finally spoke, his gaze still fixed on you, voice low. "that was… something," he muttered, eyes half-lidded, filled with curiosity and intrigue.

you smirked, glancing at sunghoon, voice laced with a teasing challenge. "you’re not mad, sunghoon? i mean, you’ve always had that possessive streak."

his jaw tightened, eyes narrowing as a low chuckle escaped him. there was nothing playful in it. "mad?" he repeated, his voice rough, gaze intense. "nah, y/n... not mad. but you’re definitely pushing it." his eyes flicked down to your lips, still swollen from heeseung’s kiss. "you know exactly what you’re doing."

heeseung leaned back, clearly pleased with himself, enjoying the tension. "what can i say? she’s hard to resist."

sunghoon didn’t break eye contact, his smirk turning wicked. “resisting’s not the problem, heeseung.” his voice dropped, almost a growl. “i just don’t like to share. and you—" his eyes raked over your body—“you’re making this a lot harder than it needs to be.”

jake chuckled under his breath, shaking his head. “possessive doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

jay raised an eyebrow at sunghoon, smirking. “jealousy’s not a good look on you, man.”

sunghoon shot a glance at jay before focusing back on you, his voice dropping. “you enjoy getting a rise out of me, don’t you, y/n?”

your smirk grew as the heat in his voice made your skin prickle. "maybe," you murmured, tilting your head. "or maybe i like seeing how far i can push you."

sunghoon’s eyes darkened further, his voice low and dangerous. "try me one more time, and i’ll fuck you right here in front of everyone."

the room went dead silent, the intensity of his words hitting you like a wave. the boldness of his threat—or promise—made the air in the room feel heavier, the tension suffocating.

heeseung raised an eyebrow, a lazy smirk tugging at his lips. "well, shit. things just got serious."

jake let out a low whistle, leaning forward. "not sure if that’s a threat or a promise."

jay, his tone laced with amusement, chimed in, "honestly, I’m not into sharing either. but the weed?" he chuckled, his eyes flicking between you and sunghoon. "it’s making me reconsider."

all eyes shifted to jay, the tension only thickening as he leaned back, crossing his arms with a growing smirk. “maybe just this once... i’d be willing to let it slide.”

heeseung chuckled darkly. "seems like we’re all reconsidering a lot right now."

jake grinned. "the weed’s making everything seem like a good idea."

sunghoon, jaw still tight, shot a glance at jay, but the playful tension between them was undeniable. "you’re lucky you’re even part of this conversation."

you felt the shift in the room, heart pounding as you caught the exchange. the energy was only growing, and none of them seemed willing to back down.

“so, jay,” you teased, eyes locking on his, “you’re saying you’d share if it came down to it?”

jay leaned forward, his eyes meeting yours, a slow smile spreading across his face. “yeah,” he said, voice low, deliberate. “but only because i think you’d be worth it.”

your breath hitched, the heat inside you building as the high took hold. “if it wasn’t for this wait,” you breathed, the words slipping out, “i’d already be knocking on your doors... though not without putting up a fight.”

their eyes darkened at your confession, the room buzzing with unspoken desire.

jungwon, trying to play it cool, took another puff from the vaporizer and immediately choked, coughing hard as the smoke hit him wrong. the sudden noise shattered the tension in the room, all eyes turning to him as he struggled for breath, his face flushing both from the smoke and embarrassment.

“shit,” he muttered between coughs, trying to compose himself, eyes watering as he glanced up at you, shaking his head. "fuck, that was... rough."

everyone burst into laughter, the momentarily serious atmosphere lightening just for a second.

"you good, won?" jake asked, grinning as he slapped jungwon’s back.

jay shook his head, still chuckling. "man, you really don’t know how to smoke, do you?"

jungwon shot them a glare, still coughing, but a sheepish smile pulled at his lips. "shut up," he grumbled, rubbing his chest as the smoke finally cleared.

you couldn’t help but laugh, the high making it all feel even more amusing. "you alright, jungwon?" you teased, watching him recover.

jungwon finally caught his breath, cheeks still flushed as he met your gaze. “yeah, yeah,” he muttered, still a bit winded. “just... wasn’t expecting it to hit that hard.”

heeseung smirked, leaning back in his chair. “looks like even the doctor’s not immune to getting messed up.”

sunghoon chuckled, shaking his head. “it’s always the quiet ones who end up the most fucked.”

the laughter faded, but the weight of their gazes didn’t. their eyes followed the rise and fall of your chest, the sheen of sweat on your skin, and the slight shift of your legs as you tried to get comfortable. it was like they were all waiting, their patience thinning by the second.

you could feel their stares burning into you, the intensity of it making your skin tingle. each glance felt heavier, more deliberate, and your pulse quickened under the heat of it.

exposed as you were, the sensation was electric, the mix of weed and desire making everything feel heightened, sharper. the room felt like it was spinning, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from them either.

heeseung, who had been the most composed, broke the silence, his voice rough and low. “fuck, y/n,” he muttered, his eyes darkening as they trailed the movement of your legs. “you look incredible like this.”

sunghoon's gaze was sharp, tracking the sheen of sweat on your skin, the rise and fall of your chest with each shallow breath. “we’re all trying to hold it together,” he growled, voice thick with restraint. “but you? you’re not even trying. it’s like you’re begging to get fucked.”

jay, lounging back with his eyes glued to you, let out a low chuckle. “yeah, why don’t you just spread those legs for me, honey? no harm in giving it a shot, right?”

jake swallowed hard, his eyes burning into you, voice strained with frustration. “this... it’s fucking torture.”

jungwon, having finally regained his composure after his earlier coughing fit, stayed quiet, but his eyes roamed over your body. despite his silence, the tension in his posture made it clear just how much he was struggling.

the silence that followed was suffocating, heavy with need. you could feel their eyes on you, feel the way their breathing deepened, slowed. they were getting hard, and none of them bothered to hide it anymore.

heeseung’s gaze darkened, his chest rising and falling faster, desire burning in his eyes. his lips parted, and you saw his hand shift in his lap, trying to find some relief without being too obvious.

sunghoon, once composed, now clenched his jaw, eyes locked on you like a predator ready to pounce. his fists tightened, muscles flexing as he struggled to keep control.

jay’s smirk faded, replaced by raw hunger. he leaned forward slightly, eyes trailing down your body. “fuck, y/n... stop looking at us like that,” he muttered, voice thick with barely restrained lust.

jake, who had been leaning back, was now sitting up, legs spread, his breathing heavier. “i’m... done hiding it,” he admitted, voice raw, frustration laced in every word.

jungwon, quieter than the rest, couldn’t tear his eyes from you. the flush spreading across his face and the way his hands flexed at his sides said everything. he was barely holding it together.

the weight of their desire pressed down on you, thick in the air. every lingering look, every breath they took, felt like a pressure building between all of you. your heart raced, heat pooling low in your belly, the tension almost unbearable.

“it’s not like we can’t do something, right?” you teased, voice low and filled with anticipation. your eyes flicked between them, watching their expressions shift as your words sank in. with a wicked smile, you let the next part slip, “just... don’t cum inside.”

heeseung groaned, deep and guttural, his grip tightening on the arms of the chair so hard his knuckles turned white. “fuck,” he muttered, breath hitching. “you really don’t know what you’re asking for, y/n.”

jay’s eyes darkened, jaw tense as hunger overtook his gaze. “you’re terrible,” he growled, voice shaking with raw need.

jake groaned, nearly doubling over as his hand dragged across his face. “shit... don’t say that,” he muttered, voice hoarse with desperation, his body visibly tense as he stared at you, gaze burning with want.

sunghoon’s fists clenched, breath coming in uneven bursts. “you really want it, don’t you,” he growled, voice low, rough, his eyes fixed on you, every move you made driving him closer to breaking.

and then there was jungwon. quiet, soft, but somehow the most intense. his voice barely above a whisper, filled with a desperation that sent a shiver down your spine. “can you show us your pussy?”

his words hung in the air, freezing everything for a second. the raw hunger in his voice shattered the last bit of restraint in the room.

heeseung’s breath hitched, shifting in his seat, eyes glued to you with frustration and need. “fuck, jungwon,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair, clearly on the edge.

jay leaned forward, chest rising and falling with heavy breaths, voice rough with need. “we’re all fucking done for.”

their eyes stayed locked on you, waiting. the tension suffocated, every breath thick with anticipation. your heart raced, heat building inside you as you reached for the vaporizer. taking a slow hit, you held it in, teasing them with every second before exhaling, the smoke lingering between their stares and your slow, deliberate movements.

you leaned back, spreading your legs, slow and deliberate. the sight of you, open and ready, had them all teetering on the brink. the air felt electric, like it was going to snap at any moment.

“jungwon,” you murmured, voice low, teasing, “you’ve already got all these plants. probably made something to drug me, right? so is something to stop pregnancy really that impossible?”

your fingers toyed with the waistband of your panties before sliding them aside, revealing how wet you were. their eyes darkened instantly, locked on the slickness between your legs.

jungwon’s eyes flicked to yours, the realization hitting him hard. without a word, he stood up, his movements clumsy from the high but filled with purpose. stumbling slightly, he caught himself, already moving toward his workstation. the idea you planted was too tempting to resist.

the room went silent, all eyes on jungwon as he started pulling out plants and supplies with a renewed intensity. heeseung raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips. “shit, she’s really got him thinking.”

jake leaned back, crossing his arms, shaking his head. “leave it to y/n to get jungwon of all people worked up like this. he’s high as fuck, but he’s still about to whip up some shit.”

sunghoon narrowed his eyes, clearly intrigued by the sudden change. “what are you cooking up, jungwon?”

jungwon ignored them, his hands moving with precision as he mixed different plants, despite the haze clouding his mind. “if the alkaloid levels are stable… should interact well with the pseudo-estrogens from the herb…” he muttered under his breath, eyes narrowed in concentration. "can’t have the phyto-progestins canceling out the contraceptive properties..."

you watched him, your heart racing at the realization of what you’d set into motion. “jungwon, are you really—”

he shot you a look, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips, hunger burning in his eyes. “you gave me an idea, and now i can’t stop thinking about it.”

heeseung’s voice dropped, “so?”

sunghoon growled in frustration, his patience wearing thin as he took another deep drag from the vaporizer, his body rigid.

“can you fucking make it or not?” he snapped, glaring at jungwon, who was still meticulously checking his data, mumbling shit only he understands and adjusting his tools, as if the urgency in sunghoon’s voice was nothing but background noise.

jungwon, annoyingly calm, ignored the outburst, his fingers tapping away at his device, double-checking every detail. the deliberate slowness was starting to grate on sunghoon’s nerves, his agitation growing with every passing second.

“jungwon,” sunghoon growled again, louder this time, his voice sharp with irritation, “quit fucking around.”

jungwon finally looked up, raising an eyebrow at sunghoon’s growing frustration. taking his time, he wiped his hands on his pants, the calm smirk never leaving his face despite the tension in his eyes.

“yeah,” he said coolly, letting the moment hang in the air for a beat longer than necessary. “you guys can start.”

the room exploded into motion. sunghoon reached you first, his grip on your ankle firm and commanding, sending a jolt through your body. with one strong tug, he pulled you onto his lap, your legs straddling him, your body pressed flush against his. the sudden intensity made your head spin, his touch overwhelming.

before you could catch your breath, sunghoon’s hands gripped your hips, pulling you closer as his lips hovered inches from your neck. ��you wanted this, didn’t you?” he growled, voice rough and thick with the hunger he had barely been holding back.

the sudden friction of sunghoon's clothed, rock-hard member rubbing against your soaked panties made your breath hitch. the heat between your bodies was unbearable, and the thin fabric only heightened the sensation. every inch of him pressed hard against you, his grip on your hips tightening as he ground into you with a low growl.

“fuck, you weren’t ready for that, huh?” sunghoon’s voice was rough, his breath hot against your neck as his hips moved in slow, deliberate thrusts, the friction sparking pleasure through you.

a moan escaped your lips, your body trembling as the sensation hit you, your hands instinctively grabbing his shoulders for support. sunghoon’s desperation was clear in the way he held you down, grinding into you with an intensity that left you breathless.

as your body rocked against sunghoon’s, the desperation in the room thickened even more. heeseung’s warm breath trailed up your neck, his tongue drawing slow, deliberate strokes along your skin, sending shivers through you.

the heat from both of their bodies radiated against you, with jake stepping in next, his hands sliding under your shirt, pushing it up and exposing your skin.

jake groaned low in his throat, his mouth closing over your nipple, sucking hard while his other hand kneaded your breast like he couldn’t get enough. his tongue swirled around your nipple, his breath ragged as he whimpered against you, each lick and tug driving you closer to the edge.

heeseung chuckled darkly against your ear, lips brushing just below your jaw. “she likes it when we’re all over her like this,” he teased, his fingers pressing into your waist, keeping you anchored between them.

jay, now half-naked, his eyes dark with lust, growled low in his throat as he kicked off his pants, his hand wrapping around his thick cock, stroking it slowly as he watched the chaos unfold. his gaze locked onto you like he was waiting for his turn, lips parted as he breathed heavily.

“don’t keep her all to yourselves,” jay muttered, his voice gravelly as he stepped closer, his hand tightening around his cock, eyes fixed on you like a predator.

he crouched down next to you, the heat of his body radiating against your skin. he gripped your chin firmly, tilting your face toward him, his voice thick with need. “open up for me, sweetheart,” he growled, the tip of his cock brushing against your lips.

with sunghoon grinding relentlessly into you and jake’s mouth on your chest, your body was on fire. your lips parted instinctively, and jay wasted no time, pressing the head of his cock onto your tongue.

“that’s it,” jay murmured, his voice low and commanding as he slid deeper into your mouth, his hand tangled in your hair to keep you in place. the weight of him filled your mouth, the stretch in your jaw immediate as you moaned around him, the sound vibrating through him.

heeseung’s raspy voice came from behind you, his hands roaming down your waist, tugging at the waistband of your panties. “fuck, look at her take it,” he chuckled, the sound vibrating through his chest as his fingers slipped between your thighs, brushing against your soaked entrance.

sunghoon growled in frustration, his grip tightening on your hips. “don’t just tease her, heeseung. get her ready for my cock.” he ground against you harder, making you whimper around jay’s cock, the heat between your legs becoming unbearable.

“you heard him,” jay muttered, his hand guiding your head as he thrust into your mouth. “get her dripping for us.”

heeseung didn’t waste any time, his fingers slipping under the soaked fabric of your panties, brushing over your sensitive folds. he hissed softly, biting his lip as he felt just how wet you already were.

“damn, you’re ready for us,” he muttered, his voice thick with satisfaction as his fingers slid up and down your slick heat, teasing you, spreading the wetness with each slow stroke. every touch sent jolts of electricity through your body, making you clench around nothing.

sunghoon’s grip on your hips was bruising now, his frustration evident as he tried to hold back, shimmying out of his pants and positioning himself right at your entrance.

he let out a strained whine as the tip of his cock nudged your hot, dripping pussy, the heat from your body scorching. pre-cum was already leaking from him, but he wasn’t about to give in so easily—he wanted to hear you beg for it.

you were on the verge of losing it, overwhelmed by the sensation of jay’s cock sliding in and out of your mouth, sunghoon’s hard length grinding against you, and heeseung’s fingers working their magic on your dripping core.

your moans vibrated around jay’s cock, sending shivers through his body. his head tipped back slightly, jaw tight as he thrust deeper into your mouth, the slick sound of him fucking you filling the room.

jake, still sucking and licking at your chest, pulled back just long enough to glance down at the mess between your legs. “heeseung, move over,” he ordered, his voice low, commanding in a way that surprised you with its authority. “i’m gonna taste her.”

sunghoon reluctantly backed away, giving jake room as he pumped himself, his jaw slack as he stared at you. his eyes roamed over your body, the glistening heat between your thighs, the way your mouth wrapped around jay. “fuck, you’re perfect,” he breathed, voice rough with need.

jake wasted no time, lowering his head between your legs, his breath hot against your soaked folds as he took his first taste. the moment his tongue met your skin, your back arched, a sharp cry escaping around jay’s cock as the intensity hit you all at once.

your body was losing all control, shaking uncontrollably as jake’s tongue worked you into a frenzy. he sucked harder, lips wet and relentless, saliva mixing with your slick juices as heeseung's fingers curled expertly inside you, hitting that perfect spot again and again. the moans you tried to suppress around jay’s cock were still loud enough to drive them wild.

each jerk of your body was involuntary, the pleasure so overwhelming that it was impossible to stay still. jake’s grip tightened on your thighs, holding you in place as he devoured you, his tongue flicking and sucking in a rhythm that had you teetering on the edge.

every stroke of his tongue was more intense than the last, and your hips bucked against his face as he pushed you higher and higher.

heeseung chuckled low in your ear. “fuck, she’s dripping all over my fingers,” he murmured, his voice thick with lust.

“jake’s eating you out so good, isn’t he? you fucking love it, don’t you? love it when he fucks you with his tongue?” his breath was hot against your skin as his fingers twisted deeper inside you, curling just right, making you tremble uncontrollably. “just let go, baby. come all over jake. we’ve got you.”

jay’s grip in your hair tightened as he thrust deeper into your mouth, his cock hitting the back of your throat. “fuck, yeah… just like that. you’re gonna make me come, shit,” he groaned, his pace quickening, his hips slamming forward.

your spit dripped down your chin, mixing with the sweat covering your skin, the heat of the moment building to an unbearable level.

the sensations were too much—jake’s tongue on your clit, heeseung’s fingers inside you, jay’s cock filling your mouth—your mind was spinning, body on fire, the pleasure crashing over you in waves so intense you thought you might shatter.

your moans vibrated around jay’s cock, and you felt him twitch in your mouth, so close to release.

“fuck, give it to me, cum all over my mouth,” jake growled, his tongue circling your clit faster, sucking harder as his fingers dug into your thighs, pulling you impossibly closer. he didn’t stop, didn’t slow down, even as your body began to convulse, your release imminent. you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, as the pleasure hit you like a tidal wave.

and then it hit you—your climax tearing through you with such force that your vision blurred, your body shaking uncontrollably as the pleasure overtook you.

you squirted hard, soaking jake, who groaned with satisfaction, eagerly lapping at the juices spraying from you. your walls clenched tight around heeseung’s fingers, hips bucking uncontrollably against jake's mouth.

the moans that escaped your throat were muffled by jay’s cock as he let out a deep groan, thrusting one final time into your mouth before spilling a thick, overwhelming load down your throat, making you choke. you swallowed, but the struggle was clear, tears streaming down your face as you gasped for air.

that sight—your tear-streaked face, struggling to breathe—ignited something primal in sunghoon. pure possessiveness blazed in his eyes, and suddenly, he was on you. his aggression startled everyone as he shoved jake and heeseung aside, eyes locked on you, filled with a mix of rage and desire.

the impact of your back hitting the floor knocked the breath out of you, the pain only fueling the heat coursing through your body. a low moan slipped from your lips, making the corner of sunghoon's mouth twitch in satisfaction.

he towered over you, his hand gripping his cock as he slapped it against your soaked pussy, the slick sound cutting through the heavy air. “fuck,” he growled, his voice thick with lust. his eyes, dark and wild, locked onto yours as he hovered closer.

"shit, y/n… tell me you want it," he demanded, his voice a low, dangerous growl. "beg for my cock, or you’re not getting it."

his words sent a shiver straight down your spine, the dominance in his voice making your core clench with need. sunghoon’s hands gripped your thighs hard, spreading you wide as his cock teased your entrance, never giving you what you were so desperately aching for.

the tension rolled off him in waves, every muscle in his body coiled tight as he waited—needing to hear you beg.

your breath came out shaky, your body trembling beneath him, utterly at his mercy. “please… please, sunghoon,” you whimpered, your voice barely more than a whisper, but it was enough to push him closer to losing control.

“louder,” he growled, his cock slapping against your soaked pussy again, the contact sending sharp jolts of pleasure through your body. "beg for it like you fucking mean it, y/n."

“fuck, sunghoon, please… i need your cock, i need you inside me,” you cried out, your desperation clear, your back arching toward him as your body begged for more.

"try harder," he snarled, his words making your need even more urgent. without thinking, you hooked your arms around his neck, pulling him into a messy, heated kiss, your lips crashing against his as you mumbled desperate pleas between each kiss.

you couldn’t stop the whimpers that escaped, each one sounding more needy than the last as your tongue tangled with his, his growl vibrating through your body.

“fuck, y/n,” sunghoon rasped against your lips, the taste of your desperation driving him wild. you could feel him trembling as he finally let go of whatever restraint he had left, his cock pushing into your needy hole.

his control vanished in an instant as he thrust into you without any mercy, his cock burying itself so deep that it ripped a sharp gasp from your throat. the stretch was sudden, raw, and perfect. your body trembled, overwhelmed by the intensity, as sunghoon’s grip on your thighs tightened, his fingers digging into your skin while he pounded into you with a brutal, relentless rhythm.

“fuck, your pussy’s squeezing me so tight—shit,” sunghoon whined, his voice rough with need. each thrust came harder than the last, your slick walls pulling him in, wet and hot. it felt like heaven, and sunghoon was completely lost in it, knowing that every second of this was worth it.

“so fucking eager to be fucked, huh? such a slut for cock,” he growled, his hips slamming into yours with every word, each stroke harder, more punishing than the last, making your body rock beneath him as the pleasure and pain intertwined.

“told you i was gonna fuck this pretty pussy first,” he grunted, his hips snapping into yours with a ferocity that left you breathless, unable to do anything but take it.

“this is what you wanted, isn’t it? wanted me to ruin you.” his voice was dark, filled with satisfaction as his eyes bore into yours, the twisted pleasure on his face only fueling the fire inside you as he watched you fall apart beneath him, your moans spilling out uncontrollably, pushing him to fuck you even harder.

he leans down, lips brushing your ear as he growls, “say it—say you're mine. this pussy is mine. gonna let me fuck you whenever i want, huh?” his hand wraps around your throat, not too tight, but firm enough to make your breath hitch.

his other hand grips your hips, pulling you harder onto his cock with each brutal thrust. “you’ll just take whatever i give you, won’t you?”

your body trembles beneath him, his cock slamming deep inside you, hitting spots that made you see stars. “yes," you gasp out between moans,

"fuck, hoon... you're fucking me so good—god, you’re so good,” you cry out, barely able to form the words, overwhelmed by the sensation. your hands claw at his back, desperate for something to hold onto as he wrecks you, his pace merciless.

“shit, listen to you, moaning like a—” he growls, cutting himself off with a hard thrust, his grip tightening around your throat, just enough to make you gasp.

“this is my fucking pussy, got it?” his words send a jolt of arousal through you, your walls clenching tighter around him as he drives into you with reckless abandon.

his cock drags against every inch of your walls, the friction intense, almost too much to bear. the pressure inside you builds fast, unbearably tight.

"fuck, you're close, aren’t you? i can feel you squeezing around me," he hisses, his voice dripping with lust. "swallowing my cock so good... told you i'd fuck you first."

his filthy words push you over the edge, your orgasm ripping through you with blinding intensity. your body seizes beneath him, walls clenching hard around his cock as you scream his name, your mind going blank as the pleasure consumes you.

“that’s it... that’s my girl,” sunghoon groans, his thrusts becoming erratic as he chases his own release, your tight, pulsing walls pushing him to the brink. “gonna fill you up with my cum, fuck—gonna make sure you’re full of it. no one else gets to fuck you like this.”

heeseung kneels beside you, his dark eyes locked on sunghoon for a brief second before they settle on you, hungry, possessive. his lips curl into that signature smirk as he leans in, his face just inches from yours.

before you can catch your breath, he crashes his lips against yours—rough, demanding—cutting off your moans as sunghoon continues to pound into you. his tongue slides against yours, greedy and insistent, before pulling back slightly, just enough to make you whimper at the loss.

"don’t listen to him," heeseung murmurs, his lips barely brushing yours, voice thick and low, like a promise of more. "we’re just getting started, baby. he’s just getting carried away." his words hit you like a shockwave, your body already trembling under sunghoon's relentless thrusts, but your eyes flicker up to meet heeseung’s, drawn to him like a magnet.

your lips part, jaw slack, as your tongue slips out in a silent plea. heeseung's gaze darkens, and he hisses, gripping your chin firmly. "mmh, look at you," he breathes, his lips hovering just above yours, teasing. "such a good girl."

sunghoon's pace is unforgiving, every thrust making your body jerk, your mind spiraling from the overload of sensations, but heeseung’s grip keeps your focus locked on him. he watches you like you’re the only thing that exists, and the control he holds over you makes his smirk deepen.

he leans in, gathering saliva in his mouth before letting it drip slowly down onto your tongue. the moan that escapes you is immediate, uncontrollable, as your body arches, savoring the taste. your eyes roll back, completely lost in the moment.

"fuck, you're filthy," heeseung growls, his thumb brushing over your wet lips. his other hand moves to your neck, fingers lightly tracing the sensitive skin before shoving two fingers into your mouth, making you gag instantly. the obscene sound that comes from you makes both him and sunghoon lose it.

"yeah, keep making those sounds," heeseung seethes, his fingers pushing further down your throat, the guttural, erotic noises you make driving him wild. "you're gonna drive us insane." his fingers press deeper, and you choke, gasping, your body shaking under their control.

sunghoon’s rhythm grows erratic, each thrust harder, more desperate as he watches you gag on heeseung’s fingers. his breath hitches, his body trembling as he slams into you with everything he’s got. the intensity sends your back arching off the floor, every nerve lit up.

jay wastes no time, moving behind sunghoon. his hands grip your hips as he lines himself up, sunghoon now fucking you even deeper. jay’s rough hold keeps you steady, the pressure leaving you breathless as sunghoon drives into you with brutal precision.

sunghoon’s moans turn desperate, guttural, his body on the edge, trembling as he loses himself in the sensation. "shit- what the fuck, you're so good." he groans, his hips snapping against yours, everything about him focused on drawing out every bit of pleasure before he explodes.

and just when you think you’ve hit your limit, jay’s tongue flicks against your ass, teasing, prodding. the sensation rips through you like lightning, and you gag into heeseung’s mouth, unable to stop the filthy, wrecked sounds pouring out of you. heeseung’s fingers tighten on your chin, holding your mouth open, making you choke on the pleasure as he kisses you harder, rougher, more possessive.

"shit, you gonna let jay fuck your ass, baby?" heeseung hisses against your lips, his eyes blazing with lust as he watches you completely unravel beneath them. "gargling on my spit while they fuck every inch of you... you're perfect, aren't you?"

you were a trembling mess, body taken over like a doll for them to use, while jake stood nearby, stroking his cock, eyes glued to the scene in front of him. his hand pumped faster, the slick sound of his own arousal filling the room as he watched sunghoon, jay, and heeseung ruin you.

"y/n, you make me so hard," jake muttered, his voice strained, hand moving quicker. "can't wait to fuck that used-up pussy…"

the moment you gargled around heeseung’s fingers, jay slipped his fingers into your ass, spreading your cheeks wide to give himself better access.

the weed had already relaxed your body anyway, and his fingers moved with ease, stretching you out for what was coming. his groan was low, almost animalistic, feeling how tight you were.

he slapped your ass hard, his voice gruff. "been wanting to stretch this ass wide open. fuck, you can take both of us, right? yeah, you fucking will."

without warning, jay yanked his fingers out and lined himself up, thrusting inside you in one swift motion. your body jolted at the sudden fullness, gasping as your ass clenched around his thick cock. the stretch was intense, so overwhelming tears welled up in your eyes. you tried to shake your head, but heeseung’s grip held you in place, forcing you to take it.

heeseung's fingers slid out of your mouth just as you gasped, your throat raw from the obscene sounds you couldn’t stop making. "oh fuck… jay… shit!" you cried out, voice trembling, body barely able to handle the intensity.

jay moaned loud, hips rolling deeper into you, feeling you clench around him. "shit, it's like you wanna rip my dick off," he growled, hands digging into your hips hard enough to bruise. "fuck, you guys gotta try her ass."

the room was filled with moans, the wet slap of skin on skin, heavy breathing surrounding you. sunghoon never stopped, still pounding into your pussy while jay was deep in your ass. you were stretched so full, every nerve lit up, your body struggling to keep up with the pleasure.

jay and sunghoon moaned together, their voices blending as they fucked you, their cocks rubbing against each other through the thin wall inside you. it was driving you crazy, overwhelming you, pressure building so fast it felt like you were going to burst. you gasped, breath shaky, tears spilling over as you choked out the words, "oh god, hee… please… fuck my mouth."

heeseung sneered, gripping your jaw roughly, forcing your mouth open wider. your tongue hung out, drooling, and the sight of you—wrecked, desperate—made them all groan.

"greedy little slut," heeseung hissed, slapping his cock against your tongue, smearing your spit all over. "you’d let us stuff every fucking hole, wouldn’t you?"

you couldn’t respond, only whimpering, mind fogged with pleasure as tears of frustration ran down your face. jay’s hips snapped harder into your ass, his cock stretching you so much your eyes rolled back. "fuck her mouth, give it to her," jay groaned, his grip bruising as he fucked you like he owned you.

sunghoon wasn’t gentle either, his thrusts deep, punishing. "you love this, don’t you?" he growled, voice thick with lust as he drove into you. "being stuffed like the filthy whore you are? fuck, you’re made for this."

you whined around heeseung’s cock, mouth stretched wide as he shoved himself down your throat without a shred of mercy. he laughed darkly, watching you struggle, gagging on him. "slut," he spat, "just a toy for us to fuck. that’s all you are."

sunghoon’s thrusts became erratic, his grip on your waist tightening as he groaned through clenched teeth. with a final, brutal slam, he moaned loudly, pumping his load deep inside you. the hot cum spilled from your pussy, dripping down to slick jay’s cock as he continued fucking your ass.

sunghoon collapsed to the side, his body spent, but jay never stopped, thrusting relentlessly into your dripping cunt. he yanked you by your weak arms and pulled you to his chest, his cock still driving into you without pause, your tits bouncing in his face as he groaned in your ear, the mess between your legs only adding to the filthy sensation. your body was a mess of pleasure, full and dripping, as jay made sure to keep you stuffed, switching between holes with no hesitation.

jay pulled you into a sloppy, messy kiss, lips crashing against yours, tongue forcing its way in as both of you moaned into each other. the room was filled with the obscene, wet sounds of bodies moving together, relentless, as jay continued fucking you without pause.

"fuck, you're so full of his cum," jay groaned, his hands digging into your hips, pushing you down harder on his cock, the stretch making you cry out.

he spread your ass wider, lips brushing your ear as he hissed, “come on, hee... fuck her ass. she's already stretched, she can take it.”

heeseung wasted no time, moving behind you as sunghoon laid on the floor, spent and panting. his hands gripped your hips hard, cock teasing your ass, still slick from jay. without hesitation, he pushed the tip inside, groaning at the tightness as he worked deeper. “mmh, you're still tight after jay stretched you out,” he growled, voice thick with lust. “you're gonna take every inch of me, aren't you?”

heeseung started fucking your ass with hard, deliberate thrusts, and jake stepped in front of you, his fingers roughly tangling in your hair. he yanked your head back, breaking your kiss with jay, forcing you to look at him, annoyance clear in his eyes. “don't ignore me,” jake snapped, tone low and teasing. “use that mouth, or do i need to fuck your throat to get your attention?”

he tugged harder, guiding your mouth to his cock. “suck,” he ordered, his other hand stroking himself slowly, teasing the tip against your lips. “you're gonna suck me off while they fuck you full.”

your body trembled, struggling to keep up. heeseung pounded your ass, jay still buried deep in your pussy, leaving you breathless. you parted your lips, taking jake’s cock into your mouth as he gripped your hair tighter, pushing deeper. “that’s it,” jake groaned, his hips starting to move. “fuck, my cock tastes good, doesn’t it? been dreaming of fucking your mouth—shit.”

they didn’t let you catch a breath. every gasp, every muffled cry was swallowed by the pace they set, fucking you from every angle. jake’s cock stretched your throat, obscene sounds escaping as heeseung brutalized your ass, and jay fucked your pussy with every snap of his hips, their hands gripping you like they owned you.

jake’s head fell back, a guttural moan escaping his lips. “fuck, your throat’s just as good as your pussy,” he groaned, voice rough.

jake chuckled darkly, tightening his grip on your hair as he thrust deeper into your mouth. “look at you,” he rasped, watching the tears stream down your face as you gagged. “you look like you’re gonna pass out baby, but no chance. i'm not done with you.” he snapped his hips, making you choke, not caring as your throat tightened around him.

heeseung was relentless, fucking your ass with a brutal pace, hands digging into your hips, bruising them. “we're gonna ruin you for anyone else,” he growled, breath ragged. “no one else is ever gonna fuck you like this.”

your body convulsed, another orgasm tearing through you, muscles trembling as you shrieked around jake’s cock. tears streamed down your face, eyes rolling back as the euphoria hit. it felt like your body might break, the pleasure so intense that for a brief moment, you didn’t care if it did.

jay’s hands tightened on your breasts, squeezing hard as his thrusts grew erratic, desperate. “fuck, fuck, fuck!” he screamed, slamming into you one last time, spilling himself deep inside.

his hot release filled you, and his grip on your chest never eased as the aftershocks hit. “fucking take it,” jay growled, slapping your tit hard enough to make you gasp.

as he finally pulled out, panting heavily, thick cum dripped from your pussy, pooling beneath you. your body, completely used, trembled from the lingering sensations, and your mind flickered to jungwon’s concoction, hoping it could handle how filled you were. but you knew there’d be no rest—no, they wouldn’t allow it yet.

as jay shuffled away, completely spent, jake pulled out of your mouth, leaving you gasping for air, your jaw sore, but it wasn’t over. not even close. heeseung pulled you up against his chest, his cock still deep in your ass, your back arching as he adjusted his grip.

his arms wrapped around your trembling, sweat-slick body, holding you tightly against him, your back pressed to his chest. the shift made your tits bounce, your entire body shaking with every breath as heeseung’s lips found your neck, sucking hard, intent on leaving his mark. deep, dark hickeys bloomed on your skin—reminders of his claim.

each time heeseung thrust into you, it felt like he went even deeper, hitting that spot inside that had your vision blurring, moans spilling from your lips uncontrollably. you knew you wouldn’t have a voice left after this. his teeth scraped along your neck, leaving sharp stings followed by the heat of his mouth as he groaned against you.

"baby, you’re wrecking my cock," he growled, voice rough with lust, hips driving into you with brutal precision. "like that? bouncing like a fucking toy, taking all of it."

your body jerked with every thrust, tits bouncing, sweat and cum covering your skin as his grip tightened around you, locking you in place, making sure you felt every inch of him inside, the way he destroyed your ass with every stroke.

heeseung groaned, the sound heavy with need, slamming into you harder. "i’m not stopping until you’re completely fucking ruined."

your knees ached from the hard surface beneath you, your body struggling to stay upright with the relentless pounding. you were overstimulated, mind hazy with exhaustion and pleasure, but jake wasn’t done.

dropping to his knees in front of you, his mouth latched onto your breast, sucking hard enough to make your nipples throb. you cried out, hands gripping his hair, your body shaking, but jake didn’t stop. his mouth trailed down your cum-soaked skin, licking every drop until he reached your pussy.

“fuck, jake, you’re insane,” you moaned, voice breaking as his tongue pressed against your swollen folds. he devoured the mix of cum left behind by sunghoon and jay, his mouth slurping loudly as he cleaned you out. the filth of it sent another wave of pleasure ripping through you, making you shudder.

he was gone—completely lost in eating you out, his moans vibrating against your clit as he licked and sucked with reckless abandon. his hands gripped your thighs, holding you in place as he devoured you, his own cock throbbing against the floor, neglected but hard. he hadn’t even fucked you yet, but he was already a mess, moaning and trembling as he tasted you.

"your pussy tastes so good, look at all that..." jake groaned, his voice muffled as he buried his face deeper, his tongue swirling around your clit before dipping back inside, trying to get every last drop. his desperation was clear, his moans louder, pre-cum was dripping from his cock, smearing against the floor as he rutted slightly, completely lost in you.

he didn’t even register what he was doing when he slid his tongue lower, chasing every inch of you, savoring how soaked you were. your scent, the taste of your cum, the slick warmth—he was drunk on it.

and when his tongue accidentally brushed against heeseung’s balls as he pounded into your ass, jake didn’t hesitate. he licked them, making heeseung hiss and shudder.

"fuck, jake," heeseung’s voice was low, half a growl, surprised but not stopping, his thrusts not slowing for a second. normally, shit like this would piss him off, make him snap, but not now. it actually felt fucking amazing.

"sorry, shit," jake mumbled, barely pulling away from your pussy, his breath hot against your skin. but he didn’t stop, didn’t even slow down, too caught up in everything—your taste, heeseung’s reaction, the way you were trembling beneath him. everything.

"don’t… fuckin’ stop," heeseung groaned, voice rough, almost a growl, his thrusts hitting deeper, harder, his grip tightening around your waist as jake's mouth teased both of you again.

he wasn’t just fucking you now—he was commanding the moment, taking control. his fingers dug into your skin, keeping you pressed against his chest, as he forced jake closer.

and so he did—jake didn’t need to be told twice, but this time, he wasn’t holding back. his tongue worked faster, more deliberate, not just for you but for both of you.

as heeseung kept pounding into you, his movements relentless, he shifted his grip—one arm locking you tight to him, the other burying itself in jake’s hair, gripping it hard.

heeseung tugged with a roughness that made jake moan, the sound desperate, his body shaking as he continued, his sobs of pleasure muffled against your soaked pussy.

heeseung yanked jake's head roughly, pushing him deeper, controlling his pace, and the sharp tug sent jolts of pleasure through jake’s body as he obediently worked his tongue faster, a shudder running through him with every sound you made.

this obviously took jay and sunghoon aback, lounging with jungwon as they watched the scene unfold in front of them. even though they were completely spent, bodies still glistening with sweat, neither of them could tear their eyes away.

they didn’t even find it disgusting—no, it was the opposite. it was captivating in a way they couldn’t explain, something raw and primal that kept them glued to the sight of jake sobbing in pleasure as heeseung fucked you relentlessly.

sunghoon leaned back, his chest rising and falling steadily as he watched, a hint of a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "fuckin’ hell, didn’t expect that from him," he muttered, voice still hoarse from earlier. jay, on the other hand, stayed quiet, his eyes locked on the way jake's body shook, almost in awe of how intense everything had gotten.

"need to fuck you now please, can i?" jake growled, pulling away from your pussy only to crash his lips against yours, the taste of cum still lingering on his tongue.

you were completely sandwiched between them now—heeseung fucking you from behind, his cock buried deep in your ass, and jake pushing his way into your pussy. the overwhelming sensation had your walls clenching around jake, both of you letting out a moan that filled the room.

you couldn’t think, your mind clouded with nothing but pleasure. jake kissed you again, forcing the taste of cum into your mouth as he rocked his hips into you. "tastes good, baby?" he mumbled, voice rough against your lips.

"that came from your pussy… fuck, you’re such a cum dumpster. gonna take my cum now? let me fill you up too?" his words slurred, babbling as he thrust into you, his hips moving desperately. "shit… you feel.. so fucking good."

jake's forehead pressed against yours, his breath hot and heavy as your moans mixed, mouths barely breaking apart. your eyes fluttered open, desperate to see his face, to see the wrecked look you knew would be there. but as you glanced to the side, your breath hitched in your throat at what you saw.

jungwon stood across the room, casually leaning against his workstation, his hard-on straining painfully against his pants. his face was unreadable, but you could feel the tension radiating off him, simmering just below the surface.

his eyes were locked on you, watching every movement, every moan, like a predator waiting for the right moment to pounce. you could already imagine the possessive thoughts racing through his head, the silent promise that when it was his turn, there’d be no sharing.

but it wasn’t just his stare that had you frozen—it was the objects in his hands. a vial of green liquid in one, and a soft pink silk restraint in the other. the realization hit you hard, your stomach tightening as your gaze flicked to the vial. jungwon noticed the recognition in your eyes, and his lips curled into a faint, eerie smile, almost psychotic, before disappearing just as quickly. it sent a shiver down your spine.

the vial glinted ominously in his hand, that twisted smile still playing on his lips as he stood there, patient and watching.

before you could fully process the threat that hung in the air, jake grabbed your chin roughly, forcing your eyes back to him. "i’m the one fucking you right now," he growled, his voice sharp, possessive.

"look at me." his lips crashed against yours, biting down hard on your bottom lip, as if punishing you for daring to focus on anyone else. his hips snapped harder into you, the brutal force of it making your body jolt, your pussy clenching around him involuntarily.

"focus on me," jake muttered against your lips, his words slurring as he drove into your overly sensitive pussy. "i’m tired of you looking at everyone else... you wanted me first, didn’t you? this tight little cunt is mine right now. you feel that? feel how fucking deep i am?" his hand slid down to your waist, pulling you harder onto his cock, making you gasp. "don’t even think about him, you hear me?"

his voice was rough, a snarl on the edge of breaking as he babbled, his need for control overwhelming. every thrust was possessive, reminding you that in this moment, jake owned you, and he wanted every inch of you to know it.

"do you want it? want my fucking cum?" he groaned, his pace growing desperate, each snap of his hips more erratic than the last.

"holy shit, she's squeezing me," heeseung panted behind you, his voice tight with strain as your ass clenched around him. he was close, but he wasn’t ready to let go yet.

there was an unspoken agreement between them all—no one would leave your pussy empty when they came. with a growl of determination, heeseung suddenly pulled out, leaving you trembling, whimpering at the sudden emptiness.

what he did next knocked the breath out of you.

"oh no—fuck, heeseung, you’re not serious," you gasped, your voice hoarse from overstimulation and exhaustion. tears welled in your eyes as he lined himself up next to jake’s cock.

and before you could brace yourself, he pushed inside alongside jake, both of them filling you at once. your walls stretched impossibly tight around their cocks, the heat of their bodies overwhelming, their movements rough and synchronized.

"she feels even better like this," jake groaned, his head falling back as the two of them moved together, their cocks rubbing against each other inside you. the stretch was unbearable, the sensation of being split open making your body writhe in overwhelming pleasure and pain, your voice cracking as you gasped for air.

"fuck, you're ripping me," you cried, your body convulsing, caught between pleasure and agony as they took you to your limit. each thrust was deeper, rougher, their hands gripping your body like they owned you completely.

"you can take it," heeseung growled, his fingers digging into your hips, pushing himself deeper. "fuck, yeah." his voice dripped with satisfaction, his eyes rolling back as your pussy clenched around both of them, your body greedily taking every inch. beside him, jake’s thrusts became more frantic, hips jerking as he fucked you with reckless abandon, lost in the overwhelming heat and tightness.

the room was filled with the wet slap of skin, their heavy breathing, and your broken cries as they used you, driving your body to the edge over and over again. they weren’t going to stop until you were completely, utterly ruined.

"mmh, fuck-" jake shudders as he gasped, "i can't—fuck, i think i'm gonna—" jake's words faltered, his body trembling violently as he teetered on the edge, completely overwhelmed. his movements became sloppy, his mind clouded by nothing but lust, barely able to keep pace.

heeseung noticed immediately. his hand shot out, wrapping tightly around jake's throat, choking him hard. "don't fucking stop now, keep fucking her," heeseung commanded, his voice dripping with authority as jake gasped, eyes wide as the pressure cut off his air. instead of pulling away, jake’s body reacted, cock twitching inside you, the choke sending him deeper into a haze of raw, lust-fueled pleasure.

you moaned, voice ragged, as you watched jake gasp for air, heeseung’s grip firm around his throat. the sight alone fueled the fire inside you, every part of you spiraling into filthy ecstasy.

"shit, jake, you like that? heeseung choking you? you slut." you teased, barely able to get the words out between your own desperate moans.

before you could say more, jake’s hand flew up, slapping you sharply across the face—not hard enough to hurt, but enough to send a stinging heat across your skin. your head snapped to the side, the sharp pain blending with the overwhelming pleasure, your walls clenching around them as you cried out, feeling the wetness dripping down your thighs.

his fingers gripped your chin roughly, pulling your face back to his, eyes blazing with an almost feral intensity. "open," jake growled, voice dark and commanding. without hesitation, you opened your mouth, tongue out, trembling as your body rocked between their brutal thrusts, completely at their mercy.

he leaned in closer, breath hot against your lips as his gaze bored into yours. "who’s the slut?"

"wanna say that again?" jake sneered, his grip on your chin tightening, his face inches from yours, daring you to challenge him. the heat of his breath mixed with the raw intensity in his eyes, made your heart pounded in your chest as you struggled to catch your breath.

but you couldn’t resist. a smirk tugged at your lips, defiant even as you quivered between them. "yeah, you're still a slut," you spat out, voice breathless but full of challenge.

jake’s eyes darkened, the tension thick as he held your gaze for a moment, a dangerous smirk spreading across his face. without a word, he grabbed your hair, yanking your head back, exposing your throat to him.

"you’re gonna fucking regret that," he hissed, his free hand sliding down your body, nails digging into your skin as heeseung’s relentless thrusts had you seeing stars.

jake’s grip on your hair was ruthless, pulling your head back to the point where your neck ached, but the pain only heightened the intensity coursing through you.

his words dripped with menace, sending a shiver of excitement straight through your core. you couldn’t help the gasp that escaped your lips, the sharp pain mixing perfectly with the pleasure as your body responded to both of them in ways you couldn’t control.

"regret it?" you managed to rasp out, voice shaky, taunting. "i fucking doubt it."

heeseung chuckled darkly behind you, his chest pressed against your back as his thrusts grew harder, slamming into you with a brutal force that made it impossible to stay quiet.

"she’s got a mouth on her," heeseung growled, his voice low and rough in your ear, his fingers digging into your hips, making sure you couldn’t move, couldn’t escape from the relentless pleasure he was giving you.

jake’s hand slipped from your chin to your throat, squeezing just enough to make your breath catch. his other hand slid down your body, fingers finding your clit, rubbing it in slow, teasing circles.

the combination of his choking grip and the overwhelming sensation between your legs made your mind go blank for a moment, all coherent thought replaced by the raw heat of ecstasy.

"we’ll see how long that attitude lasts," jake growled, fingers pressing harder on your clit, sending jolts of pleasure that had you twitching, your body betraying you.

you tried to hold back the moans, to keep some semblance of control, but it was useless. between the two of them, you were at their mercy, every nerve ending on fire, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

heeseung’s breath was hot against your ear as he leaned in, voice dark and teasing. "let’s see who’s the slut now."

jake's hand tightened around your throat, cutting off your air just enough to make your pulse race even harder. his eyes were wild, almost crazed as he watched you struggle to hold back the moans that threatened to spill from your lips.

"go ahead," he taunted, his fingers still working your clit mercilessly. "i want to hear you beg for it."

your breath came out in shaky, broken gasps as you fought for control, but the pleasure was too much.

heeseung’s brutal thrusts from behind were relentless, hitting that perfect spot deep inside you with every thrust, driving you closer and closer to the edge. you could feel the heat building in your stomach, spreading through your entire body like wildfire, your legs trembling beneath their assault.

"fuck, she’s close," heeseung grunted, his voice rough, his grip on your hips so tight it was sure to leave bruises. "you feel that, jake? she’s struggling." god, the way they were talking to each other made you moan, it's like

"yeah, se's close," jake growled, loosening his grip on your throat just enough to let you gasp for air before squeezing again, making your head spin. "but i want to hear her say it."

jake’s grip tightened just enough to make your breath falter, his eyes locked on yours, daring you to disobey. "say it," he hissed, his voice low and dangerous. "say you’re a fucking slut."

your body trembled, so close to the edge that every part of you ached, desperate for release. but you bit down on your lip, holding back the words, refusing to give him what he wanted, like the brat you are.

heeseung’s chuckle against your ear was dark, mocking. "stubborn, huh?" his thrusts grew sharper, harder, sending jolts of pleasure through you that made your legs weak. "you’re gonna break sooner or later, baby. might as well just say it."

jake’s fingers worked relentlessly on your clit, teasing you, pushing you further into the haze of pleasure and pain. "we’re not letting you come until you say it," he taunted, his voice thick with lust. "tell us what you are."

tears welled in your eyes, the overwhelming sensation of their touch and the relentless pace of heeseung’s thrusts making it harder, you could feel yourself about to explode, every nerve on fire, the knot in your stomach was almost painful.

"come on," jake pressed, his grip on your throat loosening enough to let you catch your breath before squeezing again. "say you’re our slut. say it."

the tears finally spilled over, your body trembling violently between them, unable to hold back anymore. your voice came out broken, shaky, and desperate. "i’m… i’m your slut," you choked out, barely able to get the words past the sobs wracking your body.

"louder," heeseung demanded, his thrusts slamming into you with brutal force, making you cry out. "fucking mean it."

"i’m your slut!" you cried, voice hoarse, tears streaming down your face as you gave in completely, the shame and desire mixing into one overwhelming sensation. "please, i’m your fucking slut—just let me come, please!"

with one harsh grip to your chin, jake forced your jaw open, eyes dark with lust as he spat into your mouth, just like heeseung had done earlier. the warm sensation hit your tongue, and instead of recoiling, a wicked grin tugged at the corners of your lips.

you swallowed it down without hesitation, staring up at him, that filthy smile only growing wider, more dangerous. it drove jake wild, his lip caught between his teeth as he fought back a groan.

it drove jake fucking insane. his lip caught between his teeth as he tried to stifle a groan, but it escaped anyway, raw and guttural. "fuck, hee, did you see that?" he growled, his eyes burning with something darker as he looked over at heeseung. "she fucking loves it. look at that smile—one dick ain’t enough for her."

jake’s fingers tightened around your chin, his dark gaze never leaving yours. "she’s fucking gone," he hissed, voice desperate as his cock plunged in and out of you, the wet sounds of their bodies pounding into you echoing around the room. "she can’t even think anymore."

"gonna fuck your brain into mush," heeseung groaned, without hesitation, his teeth sank into your skin, biting hard, sending sharp waves of pleasure-pain through you. the mixture of sensations—his bite, jake’s relentless thrusting, the overwhelming pressure—had you completely at their mercy, body trembling uncontrollably.

jake was no gentler, his hands rough as they grabbed your tits, squeezing before biting down harshly on one, sucking with a feral need. "shit, shit—you’re sucking me dry," he moaned, words slurred as his movements grew more erratic, nearing his breaking point.

their cocks drove into you in a perfect, punishing rhythm, every thrust slamming deep, pushing you beyond your limits you could feel your walls breaking.

your body shook with overstimulation, every nerve ending on fire as they chased their own release, using you for their pleasure. heeseung’s grip on your hair tightened, his breath hot against your neck, his thrusts becoming harder, more frantic.

"spoiled brat," jake growled, his voice thick with lust as he slammed into you, hands gripping your hips hard enough to leave bruises. "you gonna cum again, huh? you wanna fucking cum? do you even deserve it?"

"jake- yes! please—i’m gonna—oh god, fuck!" you cried out, voice a broken, desperate moan, your body trembled violently, overwhelmed, your mind drowning in the pleasure completely. your climax building impossibly high, threatening to tear you apart.

"oh fuck, baby, you're gonna make me—" heeseung groaned, his voice shaky as he lost control, hips slamming into you with brutal intensity.

jake came first, his body jerking violently against you as his thrusts grew erratic, his release flooding your already overstimulated pussy. his mouth hung open, eyes rolling back, groaning loud as pleasure overtook him.

"fuck—i’m cumming, shit, y/n," he panted, his hips stuttering as he emptied himself into you, the heat of his cum filling you completely.

as jake lost himself, heeseung was right behind. a harsh, guttural sound tore from his throat, raw and animalistic, sending shockwaves through you. his hands gripped your hips with bruising force, your body jerked violently between them.

heeseung’s hand clamped over your mouth just as the loudest, most desperate scream escaped your lips, making your body thrash beneath them. but he held you down, his other hand gripping tightly as both he and jake filled you, their cum mixing and spilling out, hot and thick. the sensation of being so completely used, so utterly claimed, sent your mind spiraling into a haze.

even when they stopped thrusting, both of them still buried deep inside you, your body kept trembling. your eyes remained shut, your chest heaving as small, broken whimpers slipped from your swollen lips. you were wrecked, every nerve buzzing with overstimulation, your mind lost in the pleasure and exhaustion of being used.

jake and heeseung stayed still, panting heavily, their bodies pressed against yours as they soaked in the aftermath. you lay limp between them, your pussy pulsing around their softening cocks, completely spent.

"shit, heeseung, look at her," jake muttered, his voice hoarse, hand trailing down your trembling body. "so pretty." the room was heavy with the scent of sex and sweat, your body quivering as you slowly came down from the high, too exhausted to even open your eyes.

they both carefully pulled out of you, slow and deliberate, but the second they did, thick streaks of cum spilled from your overstretched pussy, dripping down your thighs in a messy display of just how ruined you were. your body collapsed back into heeseung’s lap, legs trembling, trying to catch your breath.

barely conscious, your eyelids fluttered, blinking through the fog of exhaustion. jake, equally drained, toppled over you, pressing his weight down, letting out a satisfied groan. heeseung chuckled, the sound raspy and low, wrapping his arms around your waist, holding you both close.

“you two are gonna kill me,” heeseung murmured with amusement, burying his face in your neck, breathing in the scent of sweat and cum. jake snuggled against you, his face nuzzling into your chest, his breathing slowing, completely spent and content.

"fuck, that was insane," jake muttered sleepily, his voice barely a whisper, still pressed against you. heeseung hummed in agreement, his grip tightening around you both.

the three of you lay there, bodies tangled, sticky and sweaty, but none of it mattered.

or maybe it did matter—for jungwon, who had been watching from the sidelines, his brain already plotting, imagining how he would reduce you to a moaning mess next. they already gave quite the show, and his eyes had been glued to you the entire time, impressed at how you’d managed to take almost all of them. but jungwon had more in store for you, much more.

jay, sensing the moment was winding down, had slipped away during the chaos, only to return with pillows and a blanket. his usually cocky demeanor was softened by the care he took in handling them.

"got you these," jay murmured as he carefully slid the pillows under your head, draping the blanket over your exhausted, sweaty body, covering both you and the guys who clearly had no intention of pulling away yet.

his movements were unexpectedly gentle, the usual edge in his demeanor replaced with something softer, more tender. you managed a quiet, breathless "thank you," eyes fluttering shut as a content sigh escaped your lips. he ruffled your hair lightly, the gesture almost foreign coming from him. you looked up at him, half-surprised, and for a moment, you could swear there was a faint blush creeping up his cheeks as he grew sheepish under your gaze.

before you could process it further, sunghoon, who had been quietly watching from the sidelines, knelt beside you. his movements were slow and careful as he wiped you down with a warm cloth, the sensation soothing on your overworked skin. his touch was so light, deliberate, as if he was afraid to overwhelm you after everything you’d been through. "you did amazing," he whispered, his voice calm and reassuring, his fingers brushing delicately over your skin.

but he couldn’t help the subtle roll of his eyes when he glanced over at jake, who had practically buried himself deeper into your chest, looking completely content. "always the clingy one," sunghoon muttered, though there was a soft smirk tugging at his lips as he continued to clean you up, the contrast between jake’s possessive hold and his own quiet attentiveness making the moment feel almost too surreal.

jake, still nestled against you, let out a soft laugh, his arm draped lazily over your waist. "how’re you feeling?" he asked, voice playful, but his eyes betrayed genuine concern as he looked up at you, his face soft and a bit unsure.

"fucked—literally," you mumbled with a small, tired smile. "but in a good way."

heeseung chuckled behind you, his chest pressing against your back as he held you close, his breath steady. “yeah, we didn’t go easy on you, did we?” he teased, placing a soft kiss on the back of your neck. "but you took it like a pro."

sunghoon, still gently wiping you down, smirked at your response. “we’ll go easier next time,” he promised, though the gleam in his eyes made you highly doubt that.

jake, his cheek pressed against your chest, suddenly tensed, his smile faltering. "hey… uh, about what i said earlier," he began, his voice softening, the playful edge gone as he looked up at you.

"i didn’t mean it like… like you’re actually a slut. i just—" he stammered, the flush in his cheeks deepening as he scrambled to explain himself. "you know what i mean, right? like, you’re not literally—"

you couldn’t help but smile at how flustered he was getting, his usual cocky demeanor replaced with a rare moment of awkwardness. "i know, jake," you reassured him, running your fingers through his hair, trying to ease the tension.

"yeah, but you are… i mean, you were… in that moment," jake continued, still stumbling over his words, his face reddening more as he tried to justify himself.

your brow quirked up, amusement dancing in your eyes. "really, jake? now you’re shy? when you’ve been trying to fuck me this whole time?" you teased, running a hand lazily through his hair. "where’s all that cocky energy gone?"

jake groaned, burying his face deeper into your chest, clearly embarrassed. "shut the fuck up," he mumbled, his voice muffled against your skin, his fingers gripping your waist a little tighter.

"it just feels different, alright?" his words came out in a rush, like he was annoyed with himself for even having this conversation.

he shifted again, still holding you close, and you could feel the tension melt away as he relaxed into your embrace. "fuck," he muttered, almost to himself, his voice quieter now.

"i dunno why, but it just… i just really fucking like this." he sounded so out of character, the way he was practically clinging to you, like he couldn’t get close enough.

you smirked, amused by his sudden vulnerability. "so, you’re saying you’re soft now?" you teased, brushing your fingers against his jaw, making him groan again, clearly frustrated.

"shut up," jake repeated, this time more flustered, his face buried against you. "it’s not like that. i just—shit, i don’t know." he sighed, his voice dropping lower, almost vulnerable. "just… don’t fucking move, okay?"

heeseung, hearing all of this, chuckled softly against your ear, his grip still firm around you. "guess the tough guy act’s wearing off," he teased, making jake groan louder, his face buried against your chest, clearly embarrassed but unwilling to let go. you could feel jake’s heart pounding against you, his arms tightening as if he needed the comfort of your warmth.

jungwon, still standing by the counter, had been watching the entire interaction with quiet intensity. there was something heartwarming in his gaze, but it was masked by a slight irritation that he couldn’t shake—he’d been pent up, just like the others, but every single one of them had managed to get their turn with you while he was left waiting. he let out a low hum, his eyes meeting yours for a brief second before he pushed off the counter and approached with slow, deliberate steps.

“don’t worry,” jungwon said, his tone calm but laced with a sharp edge. "i’m not evil enough to fuck you after all that." despite the reassuring words, there was an unmistakable intent in his voice, something that made your pulse quicken even in your exhausted state.

"but first..." his gaze flickered down to the vial he’d been holding this whole time, the faintest of smiles tugging at his lips. "there’s something we need to take care of."

"open," he instructed, his voice commanding, impossible to ignore. despite your body’s exhaustion, your lips parted as he stepped closer, the small green vial gleaming in his hand. before you could protest or question what it was, he tipped the vial to your lips, forcing the bitter liquid into your mouth.

the moment it hit your throat, you gagged, instinctively trying to reject the sharp, acrid taste. but jungwon’s hand was firm, cupping the back of your head as he tilted the vial further, making sure you swallowed every drop.

"you’re not wasting a single bit, unless you wanna have problems guessing who the father is," jungwon murmured, his voice smooth but unyielding as you coughed, struggling to swallow the rest. the bitterness clung to your tongue, your eyes watering from the taste, but jungwon didn’t release you until he was sure you’d swallowed every last drop.

as you gasped for air, wiping at your mouth, jungwon’s gaze stayed locked on yours. "good," he murmured, his thumb brushing over your lower lip to catch a stray drop of the liquid. "you’ll thank me later."

the frustration on his face made you feel guilty, and you frowned, seeing how tense he still was.

"shit, won... sorry i couldn’t—" you started, your voice weak and shaky, but jungwon shushed you softly, his expression softening.

his fingers gently swept your messy hair away from your face, brushing it back with unexpected care. "it’s okay," he murmured, voice calm as his fingers tucked a strand behind your ear. "take a break. you’ve done enough."

then, just as you began to relax, jungwon leaned in closer, his breath hot against your ear. his tongue slid sensually along your earlobe, sending an unexpected shiver down your spine. his voice, low and dangerous, whispered only for you to hear, "because you’re gonna fucking need it."

the shudder that ran through your body was involuntary, your mind racing at the implications. "i’ll take care of the rest," jungwon added, his thumb brushing over your cheek in a rare show of gentleness. the commanding edge in his voice had faded, replaced by a calm so unnerving it almost felt like a warning.

he wasn’t done with you yet, not even close.

“y’all still smoking?” you asked, your voice hoarse, eyes drifting toward jay and sunghoon. only now did you notice just how high they were, both of them lounging in their own hazy world. it made sense why they’d been so gentle while taking care of you—they were absolutely fried.

their movements were slow and lazy, the drugs in their systems clearly still working through them. but as your gaze shifted to jungwon, it became clear he was just as high, though he tried harder to hide it.

his posture was tense, grip still tight around the pink silk restraint in his hand—he hadn’t let it go once. the sharpness in his eyes was slightly dulled by the haze, like he was trying to stay in control despite the obvious hit he’d taken.

heeseung sighed, gently trying to move jake off you, but the weight of both you and jake had him pinned. he could feel a low jealousy bubbling up, watching jake nestled so peacefully against your chest, completely oblivious to everything else. heeseung muttered, “come on, man,” his legs starting to go numb.

“sorry,” you mumbled, shifting slightly, and immediately, the soreness between your legs made you wince. your pussy throbbed from the earlier overstimulation, and the sticky remnants of their cum clung to your skin, making the discomfort impossible to ignore.

jay, noticing your wince, shot you a lazy grin. “didn’t want to clean you up just yet, considering jungwon still has plans…” his voice was casual, but the implication hung in the air, sending a shiver down your spine.

jungwon stood nearby, taking a long drag from the vaporizer. despite how new he was to it earlier, he seemed way too comfortable now. his brows furrowed slightly, deep in thought, though his eyes flickered toward you with a sharp, unreadable look.

“it’s fine,” jungwon finally said, voice calm but with an edge that sent a shiver down your spine. “i can wait… as long as she can handle what’s coming next.” his lips curled into a tight smile, a contrast to the calmness in his voice, and the anticipation in his words made your heart race.

sunghoon, moving slowly like he was floating, took the vaporizer from jungwon and inhaled deeply. without a word, he walked over to you, his hands gentle as he helped you sit up despite the soreness.

before you could react, he leaned in close, pressing his lips to yours, shotgunning the vapor into your mouth. the warm, calming sensation filled your lungs, and your body immediately began to relax, melting into the moment.

“there we go,” sunghoon murmured softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face. your head tilted back as the tension drained from your muscles. “thought it would help.”

you managed to raise an eyebrow, despite the glossy haze in your eyes and the lazy smile spreading across your lips. "what’s gotten into you guys?" you asked, voice soft and teasing, "i swear, i’m not used to this."

"you just gave us the best fucks of our lives," sunghoon replied, his voice low and teasing as he leaned back slightly, watching the lazy smile play on your lips. his eyes held that same mischievous glint, but now, they were filled with something more, something raw and satisfied.

he trailed his fingers gently over your thigh, his touch soft but deliberate. "you didn’t think we’d just let you crash after that without making sure you’re taken care of, did you?"

the vapor worked quickly, easing the aches and discomfort from your body. you felt your mind fog over slightly, the haze blending with the lingering exhaustion.

“water?” heeseung’s voice broke through the haze as he knelt beside you, holding a bottle out. his gaze softened as he unscrewed the cap. “slow sips,” he urged, bringing the bottle to your lips.

you nodded weakly, the cool water sliding down your throat, refreshing and soothing.

“better?” heeseung asked gently, his hand resting on your back, his touch careful.

“i’m really loving this attention, not gonna lie,” you teased, a tired smile pulling at your lips despite the exhaustion weighing on your body.

heeseung chuckled softly, handing you the bottle. “you earned it.”

jay, lounging nearby, gave you a playful wink, while jake, who was sprawled out next to him, laid face down on the one and only sofa in the station, his hands dangling over the edge, completely zonked out.

sunghoon, still close by, smiled at you, leaning in slightly. “you love being spoiled, huh?”

you laughed softly, feeling the tension in your muscles start to ease. “who wouldn’t?” you replied, the warmth of their attention slowly pulling you back from the brink of exhaustion.

then jungwon’s voice cut through the light atmosphere, drawing everyone's attention. “i…” he began, like he wanted to say something but held back, taking another slow drag before exhaling.

“nevermind, rest for now,” he continued, eyes locking onto yours. “the concoction i gave you will work, so don’t worry about getting pregnant. you were smart for thinking ahead about that.”

he paused for a moment, his gaze lingering on you, lips curling into a small smile that hinted at something more. “but you’ve got an appointment with me tomorrow.”

the casual tone of his words did little to mask the seriousness behind them. the others exchanged glances, the atmosphere shifting as curiosity and anticipation filled the room.

“i’ll make sure everything’s taken care of,” jungwon added, taking another drag, eyes never leaving yours. “so just rest… for now.”

“you’re smoking a lot,” you murmured, eyeing the vaporizer in his hand as he took another slow drag. despite his calm demeanor, the bulge straining in his pants told a different story.

jungwon leaned back, exhaling slowly, his eyes flickering over you with a casual intensity. “i have to,” he replied simply, though the tightness in his voice betrayed his calm exterior. his arousal was impossible to ignore, his hard-on evident.

you could feel the tension building again, though it was clear jungwon was holding back—for now.

if only you knew what he had in store for you next.

the peaceful moment was shattered by the sudden crackle of the intercom, piercing through the haze and making everyone jolt in place. the lazy, satisfied calm that had blanketed the room instantly vanished, replaced by the cold slap of reality.

"attention crew, this is HQ,” a stern voice announced, cutting through the tension. “we’ve detected irregularities in the ship’s systems. a team inspection is required immediately.”

you blinked, still dazed, trying to process the situation, your sore body sinking deeper into the blankets. sunghoon, high as fuck, let out an exasperated groan, rubbing a hand over his face as he sat up, his previously calm, gentle demeanor turning sour.

“fuck, can’t believe i have to steer while i’m this baked. they’re gonna get us all killed.” his eyes were still half-lidded, the effects of the vaporizer clearly not having worn off.

jay, equally stoned, gave a lazy grin, though it faltered as the weight of the announcement settled in. “of course this shit happens right now,” he muttered, leaning back and stretching, trying to look more alert than he actually was.

heeseung sighed, shifting carefully to disentangle himself from you and jake, his legs long gone numb from holding both of you. “yeah, well, it was good while it lasted,” he grumbled under his breath, rolling his shoulders as he got up.

"fuck reality," jake muttered, still half-asleep, his face nestled in your chest, clearly unwilling to move. “i was finally getting comfortable.”

“right?” sunghoon groaned, reluctantly pulling himself to his feet with exaggerated slowness. “i swear, if i have to fly this ship while feeling like this, we’re definitely crashing into the moon. and then what? i die high as shit.”

jay snorted, rubbing his eyes. “well, at least you'd go out happy. i have to figure out diagnostics, and i’m still seeing stars.” he dragged a hand through his hair, clearly unenthused about the sudden shift from relaxation to responsibility.

jungwon, still leaning against the wall with the vaporizer in hand, took a slow, deliberate drag, his grip tightening slightly on the pink silk restraint he hadn’t let go of. despite the haze still lingering in his gaze, his sharp intensity remained. “can’t we just pretend we didn’t hear them? five more minutes?” he suggested dryly, a small smirk pulling at his lips.

heeseung rolled his eyes, already slipping back into commander mode despite the lingering effects of the smoke. “nope. get your shit together. sunghoon, you’re at the helm. jay, diagnostics. jake—wake up and run an external scan. jungwon—" he paused, catching jungwon’s focused gaze and the subtle smirk on his face. “you know what to do.”

jungwon exhaled slowly, blowing smoke from his lips as he pushed off the wall. “yeah, yeah. i’ll check the power core,” he said smoothly, though the hint of frustration was clear. his eyes flicked to you, the heat still simmering beneath his calm exterior. he pocketed the restraint, a silent promise that this wasn’t over. “you’ll rest, i’ll make sure everything’s handled.”

jay let out another exaggerated sigh, shaking his head. “of course. i was this close to being fully horizontal again.” he gestured dramatically, the high still evident in his sluggish movements. “and now i gotta go pretend i know how to fix shit.”

sunghoon nodded toward him, snickering. “at least you’re a scientist. i just push buttons and hope for the best.” he stretched out his arms lazily.

you laughed softly, wincing at the soreness but feeling comforted by the banter. “well, if you guys need me... you can call,” you offered, your voice still raspy but sincere. even though your body felt like it had been through the wringer, you didn’t want to leave them to deal with everything alone. “i mean, not that i’ll be much help right now, but...”

heeseung, now fully in command mode, shot you a soft smile as he bent down to brush a few stray strands of hair from your face. “we’ve got it covered,” he reassured you, his voice calm but firm. “you rest, okay? we’ll handle it.”

jungwon, still lingering near the door, shot you a knowing look. “besides, you’ve got bigger things to worry about,” he said with a sly grin, his fingers tapping the pocket where the pink restraint was tucked away.

the teasing glint in his eyes made your heart race, but you couldn’t help the tired smile that crept onto your face.

"i’ll worry about that later," you muttered, your body finally starting to relax as the exhaustion took over. jungwon’s smirk lingered in the back of your mind, but the soft sheets and the warmth of the blanket wrapped around you pulled you deeper into comfort.

as the sounds of the others prepping for the inspection faded, you let your eyes close. despite everything, you felt a sense of calm knowing they had it covered. and as the weight of sleep slowly settled over you, you realized that whatever jungwon had planned... it could wait.

your breathing slowed, your body finally giving in to the much-needed rest, that sly grin of his the last thing etched in your mind before sleep finally took you.

── .✦⸝⸝ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

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[runninriot]

Only Me

written for @steddiesmuttyseptember

week 3 prompts: rough, aftercare | rated: E | wc: 2.737 | tags: sub Eddie Munson, mean dom Steve Harrington, restraints, nipple clamps, impact play, mild degradation kink, established relationship | also on ao3

  “Please! You promised!”

Eddie’s eyes are wet with unshed tears, wide and pleading and so goddamn pretty. He always is when he’s like that. When he’s all tied up and helpless, squirming and writhing. Uselessly tugging at the restraints keeping his arms above his head, beautifully exposed, defenceless and at Steve's mercy.

It’s a sight Steve will never get sick of, will never not feast on – especially when his eyes catch all the signs of love he left on pale skin, all the marks, the claims, the trails of colour painting his boyfriend’s body.

Lust reflecting back at him from Eddie’s strained neck that’s covered in bruises, angry red lines revealing where Steve dragged his nails a little too rough over sensitive skin, remains of a greedy mouth baring its teeth – Steve’s art scattered all over this bare perfection in front of him.

Eddie is everything he never thought he could have, submissively offering himself to be used in every way he knows they both enjoy when they indulge in this dissolute act of love.

It’s his favourite game.

   “Don’t think you’ve earned it, yet,” Steve answers his boyfriend’s feeble attempt to make him relent, to give what he’s so desperate for.

Later, not now. Steve isn’t done playing his wicked games and he knows Eddie can take some more; it would be such a waste to skip this part just because Eddie is a little cock slut, needy for Steve’s dick to stuff him and fill him up.

Eddie jerks when Steve pulls at the clamps biting into his nipples, giving each side a rough tug that must send painful ripples of electric shocks through his body.

   “Ow! Oh fuck, Steve! Please, I can’t-“

His voice cracks, words dissolving into an unintelligible sequence of pitiful sounds when Steve grants himself permission to pull again, harder this time.

   “Did you say something? Couldn’t hear you over your pathetic whining.”

It’s his second favourite part of the game, to provoke and be mean, to remind Eddie who’s in charge and who isn’t, let the little Devil inside him take the lead.

   “Keep complaining and I won’t give you anything,” Steve warns and Eddie tries to comply but seems unable to swallow the needy whimpers that break through his parted lips.

   “I’ll give you what you need. I always take care of you, don’t I?”

Eddie nods weakly.

   “Use your words, baby.”

Steve’s thumbs and fingers linger on either side of the clamps, not pinching, not pulling, just resting there as a silent threat Eddie understands wordlessly.

   “A-always. You always take care of me,” he stammers, voice weak but with certainty in his words because he knows Steve will never not give him what he needs.

It’s wonderful, bad for his already too big ego but a treat nonetheless. To hold such power over someone else makes him feel superior, godlike almost, with the way Eddie bows to him. Perfectly obedient, unless he’s being a brat but even then, Steve never loses the upper hand, knows exactly what to say and do, how to create a scene that fulfills both their needs.

   “Exactly. And that’s why you’re going to stop begging like a needy little whore and let me take my time with you.”

Careful, almost gentle compared to his earlier actions, Steve relieves Eddie from the torment, giving the overstimulated nerves in his nipples a moment to relax, letting him shiver through the lingering pain just long enough for him to catch his breath before he continues the teasing torture.

It’s too inviting, the sight of reddened skin and swollen flesh, so he gives into his sadistic nature and lets his thumbs rub in pretend-soothing circles around the sensitive area.

Eddie cries out for Steve to stop but he doesn’t mean it, not really – he knows what to say when he needs Steve to slow down. So, Steve keeps going unfazed, closing his mouth around one of the hardened buds to suck at it, greedy and rough, until Eddie’s moans turn to soft, defeated little whimpers.

   “Sorry, baby,” Steve says, not feeling sorry at all.

His lips curl into a wicked grin when he notices the tear streaks on Eddie’s face and it fills him with a twisted sense of pride that he’s the one responsible for making his boyfriend cry.

It’s paradox. Steve loves Eddie with all his heart, would never hurt him, wants nothing more than to see him smile. But this right here is different, those tears are good tears, this is the good kind of pain, the one that makes Eddie beg for more.

And beg he does, insistent and impatient, needs something inside to fill the emptiness, his loose hole clenching around nothing now that the plug they’ve used to open him up lies abandoned on the side of the bed. Steve crawls further up between his thighs, can’t bite down a mean laugh when he sees Eddie’s eyes widen, probably thinking he’s finally getting what he’s been asking for. He doesn’t, is the thing, all he gets is Steve’s hardness brushing his skin, leaving a trail of slickness on its way when he leans over him, untying the rope around his wrists.

Slowly, he brings Eddie’s arms down, thumbs rubbing over the faint redness he caused by pulling too hard, fighting against the restraints he specifically had asked for. Steve kisses each wrist before he drops them on either side of Eddie’s body.

   “Kiss me,” he demands, and Eddie complies instantly, lifts his head to capture Steve’s lips with his own.

The kiss is deep but slow, some calm before a storm only Steve knows is coming.

   “Turn around,” Steve commands when they part, voice stern and eyes not leaving Eddie’s, who looks at him with a mix of confused frustration and thrilling excitement.

On his hands and knees, Eddie offers a sight that makes Steve’s cock throb, makes it hard to resist the urge to push inside. To take without warning and finally give in to Eddie’s pleas.

Not yet, though. Eddie’s going to have to earn it. And so does Steve.

The thing about playing with Eddie like this, about taunting him by making him wait and beg and then wait some more, is that Steve, too, had to learn patience and how to maintain control over his own body’s reactions. Not wanting to lose himself too early, not wanting to miss out on the reward of falling together.

Steve places both hands on Eddie’s hips, feeling just a little bit bad for making it seem as if he’s aligning himself with his boyfriend’s ass, hole gaping and ready to take him.

   “Will you fuck me, please?”

Eddie opens his legs some more, hips swaying in Steve’s hold – he’s getting impatient, desperate to be filled.

   “No.” It’s such a small word, two letters that hold so much power because it’s all Steve has to say to make Eddie lose his mind.

Before he can complain, Steve’s hands slide down, grabbing his ass with both hands, fingernails digging into tender flesh and burning skin, digging deep enough to leave marks before letting go completely

Eddie cries out a weak little ‘Oh, fuck!’, voice trembling with anticipation. He knows what’s coming, knows how Steve will make him earn his right to be fucked.

   “Are you gonna be my good little whore?” Steve asks and Eddie answers with a nod and a whimper as he braces himself for what’s to come, no doubt already starting to become headless, always getting a little dumb when Steve degrades him with words.

When he calls him a slut. A toy. A stupid, cock-drunk mess.

Baby or whore, it doesn’t really matter what he calls him; Eddie can be both and Steve can say either with love – they’re interchangeable, mean the same thing in the language they share like a secret code.

The first contact of Steve’s palm with Eddie’s ass is barely more than a hard tap, nothing to really cause pain, only to slightly warm up his cheek. So does the second and third, but before Eddie can ask for more, Steve’s hand sinks down again with a loud smack, making rosy colour bloom on pale skin.

   “Ah! Yes, yes fuck, more please!”

One, two, three, four, five more slaps, each one harder than the one before, Steve’s hand striking down in the rhythm to Eddie’s cries, every hit drawing out another beautiful sound that goes straight to his own dick.

Steve loses count but the angry red colour in the shape of his hands is spurring him on to keep going until Eddie’s moans turn into sobbing.

   “What’s wrong, baby? D’you need me to stop? Or do you want me to go harder? Your choice.” Steve grins, tongue licking over his teeth like a hungry hyena, excitement pulsing in his lower half because he already knows what Eddie’s answer will be.

   “H-harder. Please, Steve. Need it.”

Always so polite, his perfect boy.

How could Steve resist when he’s asking so nicely?

Only when Eddie’s arms give up and he falls face-first into the mattress, does Steve stop. He marvels at the art he created on his boyfriend’s skin, red and hot, burning under his fingertips as he lets them trail over soon-to-be bruises he’ll have to tend to later.

He lifts Eddie’s weakened body up, holds him by his hips and then, finally, pushes the swollen, purple tip of his cock into the waiting heat that’s been yearning to be filled for so long.

Eddie’s back arches beautifully when Steve thrusts deeper, doesn’t need to hold back, not when Eddie is so open and willing to let him in.

And then he fucks him. Hips snapping hard against Eddie’s sore ass, pulling cry after moan after pathetic little whimper out of the other man’s throat. They’re both too deep, too far gone already, won’t last long, not after building up all this tension and pressure and overwhelming neediness. Ready to fall and come and burst at the seams, lose themselves to each other.

   “You should see yourself. Fuck, baby!” Steve’s eyes are transfixed on the place between his thighs where he watches himself sink deeper, watches Eddie’s body welcome him, swallow him, stretch around him so perfectly. “Taking me so well, so good for me. Ah! So tight! Shit.”

Eddie comes first, cock neglected and untouched, spurts all over himself and the sheets, and the noises he makes are what tips Steve over the edge, spilling his release into the depths of Eddie’s body, shaking apart as he rides out his own orgasm.

He watches the mess he made when he pulls out slowly, watches the trail of his own cum trickling out of Eddie’s sloppy hole, can’t help but to push it back where it belongs, pumping two fingers inside with no resistance where he’d just been buried balls-deep.

Beneath him, Eddie bucks his hips, moaning and panting – Steve knows he’s had enough, knows he would still let him play with him for hours more if Steve insisted.

It’s tempting, his greedy inner Devil already rubbing his hands at the thought. He could plug him, make him keep Steve’s cum inside, could make him suck his spent cock until they’re both hard again.

But there’s always time for that later, tomorrow, the day after – Steve’s not going anywhere and neither is Eddie. They’ve got their whole lives ahead of them, enough years still left to be young and reckless.

Eddie deserves a break, deserves to be loved in a gentler way after being so good, so obedient, so perfect.

Groaning, obviously wrung out and exhausted, sore in all kinds of places, Eddie turns to lie on his back, hissing when his ass hits the sheets.

Steve’s beside him, eyes roaming over his boyfriend’s body, taking in the state of him. Come stains on his belly, a sheen of sweat glistening on his skin, his legs still slightly trembling, and his mind probably floating somewhere far away – Eddie is a mess in every sense of the word and Steve is about to make it worse. Just a little. Just as a treat for himself before he’s actually going to take care of his sweet boy.

He leans down, parted lips hovering over stained skin, hot breath tickling his boyfriend’s abdomen.

   “Ste-heeve! Stevie, whatcha doing?” Eddie giggles, sounds high or maybe drunk; drunk on Steve, maybe, wouldn’t that be something?

   “Just wanna give back what belongs to you,” he answers vaguely before darting his tongue out.

Eddie squirms, shaking with laughter that turns into a loud moan when Steve’s tongue trails from his pelvis up to his navel, lapping up Eddie’s cum on its way. When he comes back up so he’s face-to-face with the other man, Eddie is already looking at him with wide, curious eyes.

He nods frantically to answer a question Steve didn’t ask and opens his mouth. Steve pushes two fingers over the waiting tongue spilling over his bottom lip, forcing his jaw to open wider before he lets a string of saliva drip from his mouth to Eddie’s, sharing the taste of his own cum with him. It's filthy and beautiful, makes him feel hot all over, regretting the fact that he can't give him more.

   “Good boy,” he teases, tapping Eddie’s cheek with his spit-coated fingers as he watches his Adam’s apple bob when he swallows Steve’s gift obediently.

Eddie’s eyelids flutter shut, expression soft, and Steve seals his lips with a kiss.

   “God, I can’t believe how perfect you are,” Steve’s heart flips when Eddie opens his eyes again, sparkling, dark, and full of adoration and love.

   “So perfect. All for me, only me.”

   ���Only you,” Eddie agrees, says it like it’s a promise and Steve feels overcome with selfish satisfaction at the thought of being the only one who’ll ever get to see him like this. The only one to touch him like that. To love him this way.

   “How are you feeling?”

   “Hmm, perfect. Thank you.”

Eddie sounds sleepy, eyelids heavy and hardly staying open. Steve proudly thinks to himself that he must’ve done a real good job tiring him out. But he can’t have Eddie fall asleep like that.

   “Let’s get you in the shower, baby.”

-----

The water is warm and comforting, easing the strain in Eddie’s aching body. Steve doesn’t stop kissing him while he gently scrubs him clean, careful not to hurt him where his skin has already started to change colour.

Steve loves this part, the after, when he gets to worship Eddie’s body with care, soft and slow, different than before but just as wonderful.

Intimacy comes in many forms and although Steve really, really enjoys the rougher side of it, loves to give in to the raw and brute kind of his own desires, he can’t deny that this, here, is even better. To hold an exhausted Eddie in his arms like this, close to his own heart, gently caressing the skin he blemished before, taking care of the bruises and scratch marks, the shapes, and colours Steve left on every part of him, fills him with a different kind of satisfaction.

To be the one allowed to put Eddie back together after tearing him to pieces, is an honour, something Steve cherishes a lot.

When they fall into bed together, naked, and soft, and tired, Steve pulls Eddie close to his chest, whispering love confessions into his hair until Eddie’s breathing calms and he can feel his body sink deeper into the embrace, slowly drifting as sleep takes a hold of him.

His own heart matches the rhythm of Eddie’s, a slow but strong beat that sounds like a love song written only for them. Because they belong together. There could never be anyone else for Steve; his heart and soul belong to Eddie and Eddie alone. And for as long as he'll let him, Steve will give Eddie everything he needs, everything he wants, and sometimes even more than that.

Eddie is his to hold. To fuck and tease. To hurt in all the good ways and to love. No one else but Steve is allowed to touch him like that.

   “Only me,” he whispers once more, a little selfish and a lot possessive but he knows that’s okay because it’s true. And it makes him smile, content and satisfied, before exhaustion finally pulls him under.

[doloresbutitsdolly]

Losing My Innocence

TW: no established relationship, up to no good antics, pining for each other, adult time 🙏

He's driving around, with you as his little passenger princess. He glances to you occasionally, admiring those tinted cheeks and lips of yours. You pretend to not notice; pretending to be busy singing to the songs on the radio. But part of you wished he did more; wish he'd put his hand on your thigh, maybe even hold your hand.

He gets a call from you in the middle of the night, asking if you could meet up and do something to distract you from your stressful life. He's outside within 20 minutes, wearing that jacket he usually does when it's cold outside and leaning against his car. He takes a look at your clothes, undressing you with those eyes of his that you find yourself staring into.

"Where are we going?" you asked as you slumped into the car seat.

"I don't know. We'll see, angel."

You pull up to a convenience store, one with shitty lighting. He gets out and buys two bottles of soda and gives one to you. You guess this is where you're hanging out now. You sip your drink, chewing on the straw as you watch him text on his phone. Surprisingly, he asks what's got you so stressed out. You hesitate, fearing he might be asking a rhetorical question. But when he looks at you with those eyes, you slowly let yourself open up.

You're in the back seat, losing what's left of your innocence with him. He's rough, he is a tough guy after all. But you can't help but melt when he gently pulls you closer, getting you more comfortable to lie flat on the seats than have your head pressing against the car door. It's times like these where you forget how stressful life is and how good it is to just, feel. You hated how draining life had to be, all you wanted was this- No, all you ever wanted was him. Him and his bitchy attitude. Him and his "do I look like I give a fuck". Him. His hair, his body, his voice. You wanted him. The question was if he wanted you.

As you're fixing you're ruined makeup he drags a finger across your lips, purposely messing it up. You swat his hand away, before angrily putting on another layer of lipstick. He chuckles as he leans back, watching you again. You couldn't help but feel giddy, it's like he's your lover. Oh, how you wanted him to be your boyfriend. You were almost desperate. But even if the feelings were mutual, life is full of shit and the consequences would have you drowning in even more problems.

You're home, now. His fingers tap against the wheel. You don't move, wondering how you can still drag the time.

"Something the matter?" he asks

Shit, does he know what you're doing? You shake your head.

"Ya' want another round?" he asked, smirking. You smack him, mumbling about being busy tomorrow and not having time to limp around. He grabs your wrists, yanking you to his face. Lips inches apart, you could feel his hot breath.

"No kiss goodbye? A bit mean, especially from a sweetheart like you." he whispered.

You pressed your lips onto his, cupping his face and pulling him close. He doesn't hesitate, not even for a moment. He runs his fingers through your hair, before settling on your face. You pull away, breathless now.

"Goodnight, angel. Call me if you need anything."

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Dolly's note: was listening to diet pepsi by Addison Rae and got inspired. Also because there's this person i really like but i shouldn't lmfao. Do yall relate to me or am i just cray cray?

[lovemybluebully]

It's For Science

This is just a little something I scrounged together, inspired by a post by @snugglyfluffle 😊

https://www.tumblr.com/snugglyfluffle/761535277842022400/since-logan-has-a-shorter-waist-then-wade-does-do?source=share

Damn, writer's block has been a biiiiiitch. I wrote a lot of this in the later hours of the night after my long workdays so sorry if it's nothing spectacular, or if there's any spelling/grammatical errors. 

Wade gets it into his head that maybe not all humans have the same number of rib bones. His logic being that since Logan has a shorter body then he may be an exception. Unfortunately for Logan this is far too ticklish of an experiment for him to bear.

A small bit of ticklish!deadpool at the end too. 😉

Warnings for foul language and other Deadpool-type stuff.

"Deadpool and Wolverine"-verse

M/M Tickle Fic

Word Count: 4,234

"The skeletal system is comprised of bones that give structure to the body and work with the muscles and joints to provide movement. The human body contains 206 bones….," the certified doctor on the television explained as he gestured to a replica model human skeleton while Wade sat watching on the couch.

"207 if I'm watching Gossip Girl, hehehe. Shit, I already made that joke in the movie. Well it's still true anyhow, am I right?" Wade snorted a laugh as he turned from his position on the couch with his hand up for a high-five, but found his roommate leaned back in the couch with his eyes closed and his hands on his lap.

It had been a nice lazy afternoon for the two of them and Logan had KO'ed quite a few beers as the monotone voice of the television host was making him doze off.

"Pssht! Old man can't stay awake for five minutes," Wade waved him off as he turned back to the tv.

"The ribcage has an important job in providing protection to some of the most vital organs being the lungs and the heart. There are 12 ribs on each side, making 24 in total…"

The merc blinked in curiosity as he sat up tall and now slowly began to feel up each side of his body to count the ribs within, having to dig in pretty thoroughly to get through the muscle.

"Hmm I'm only feeling 20 here….," he rechecked to be sure, finding all the ones leading up to his collarbone.

"The 11th and 12th pair of ribs are called 'floating ribs' because unlike all the others they are not attached to the sternum but are still attached to the backbone….," the doctor went on as he pointed to two pairs of ribs on the back area of the skeleton.

Wade's hands wound around to his lower back and found the missing pairs right where the doctor said they'd be.

"Huh. What do you know, he's right. I mean, duh!" He bopped himself on the forehead, "Of course he's right. He's a fucking doctor. Hey Wolvie, you're missing some interesting stuff here."

"Mmph," Logan only grunted in response, not even hearing what Wade had actually said as he started to drift further into fully passing out.

Wade then had a thought pop into his mind as he looked over at his near-comatose friend. Logan's torso was a lot shorter than his own so he wondered if it was true that all humans had the same number of ribs. The doc hadn't specified if it was possible to have less and Wade's hyper mind needed an answer right away.

"Hmm. I suppose I could just Google it to find out for sure, but nah! I prefer to do my own field study. Plus you all need a fun little fic to read, and I know Logan won't mind if it tickles just a teensy little bit. Commence Operation How-Many-Ribs-Does-A-Wolverine-Have."

He slid over and wiggled his fingers up in the air before placing them on the bottom of Logan's ribcage, pressing in gently to feel the first two ribs as the man immediately jumped and blinked his eyes open in a groggy daze.

"Whatistha….Wade? What-heheh-What're you doin'?" He batted at Wade's hands with very little accuracy from being half-asleep, giggles escaping him as the fingers moved up to the next set of ribs.

"Well if you had stayed awake Peanut, you would have seen this educational program I've been watching about the human body. They say there are 24 ribs in a human, but I was curious if it applied to all body heights. Being that you're a little shorter than me I wanted to see if you had the same," Wade explained his current lunacy as Logan started to wake up a little more though it took him a moment to really process everything that had been said.

"Huh? The fuck are ya-eheheheehee-Ribs? Course I do, dipshihihit. Now stohahahop it," he was unsuccessful in trying to block out Wade's hands as they continued up his sides.

"I sure will. Once I have verified the facts. Though I'm pretty sure this would go a lot quicker if you would just hold still," Wade smirked big time, knowing there was absolutely no way Logan could ever stay still for something like this when his torso was so ridiculously sensitive, "Okay looks like that's number 5…..and oh, there's 6…."

"How abohohout I c-count your teeheeheeheeth after I knohohock 'em outta your fuhuhuhucking head?" Logan chuckled hard, taking a half-hearted and easily dodge-able swing with his fist towards Wade.

"Don't threaten me with a good time, muffin cakes. Come on, this is a fun game. At least smile, would ya?" Wade teased, looking down at his friend while increasing the speed that his fingers wiggled around against his sides.

The X-man's grin had lit up his normally stoic face while he made many attempts to shove Wade's arms away, but those nimble fingers were practically glued to his sides.

"Of ahahahall the stuhuhuhupid-Eeeheheheheheheh! Stahahahap, ya mohohohoron! Thehehehey're all thehehehere!" Logan was giggling uncontrollably and sinking back into the couch cushions, trying to will his body to phase through and escape but there was only so much give that he was allowed.

Truthfully after the relaxing day he'd had and the keg of beer in his belly he found that he wasn't too bothered about Wade waking him up with his dumb experiment.

"How can I be certain? Got any proof? Any reliable witnesses to corroborate your case? Hmm? Perhaps you have an x-ray of your body to show me? A scientific essay conducted by a world renowned researcher? Any of those would be acceptable."

Logan obviously could only shake his head.

"N-Nohohohohoo, buhut I can cuhuhut myself opehehehen and-ahahahahaa-you cahahahan loohoohook for yoursehehehelf!" He released one claw from his hand as Wade gasped in horror and quickly grabbed his wrist to pin it to the couch with his knee.

"Ohhh no you don't. You're crazy if you think I'm gonna allow my precious little badger to cause himself any harm. Besides my method is way less messy. Just wish I knew why you find it to be so funny," he stated, playing dumb as Logan attempted to growl through his giggles, though the intimidation factor was completely lost.

"Yohohohou f-fucking knohow why I'm lahahahahaughin', ya ihihihihidiot!" He retracted the sharp blade back into his body, trying to squirm free, "Now gehehehet outta thehehehere, ohohor ehehehelse!"

The threats were in full effect, but the claws remained sheathed.

Wade recognized that Logan was in a more light-hearted mood than normal, and he wasn't going to let it go to waste. If he had woken up with murder on his mind then Wade might have been more inclined to back off sooner. But now that he had the green light it was on!

"Or else what? Doesn't seem like you're trying too hard to stop me," he called his bluff and grinned at how the man weakly pulled at his wrists with his one free hand and was trying to curl up in defense.

He knew Logan would be fighting him a lot harder than this if he was really as disagreeable as he wanted him to think.

Actually, Wolverine had a little secret he was keeping. He would die before admitting it out loud, but there were times he found that he actually enjoyed this. Yes, enjoyed getting tickled within an inch of his life.

Definitely not at first though. And to fully grasp the situation we'll have to rewind the story just a…

"Aw nohohoo bub! Thehehey don't neeheed to hehehear all o' thahahat!"

Wade's heart skipped a beat as he gasped in excitement.

"Oh em gee! Your first fourth wall break! I'm so fucking proud of you!"

Shush, we're doing this.

Anyways Logan couldn't remember ever being tickled before so the day Wade had discovered that he was in fact quite ticklish he did everything in his power to fight him off and avoid it altogether. Wade wouldn't back off though and inevitably got him pinned down, even though it resulted in several stab wounds to his head and torso.

Having been alive for over 200 years Logan was very used to experiencing pain of some of the highest levels physically and mentally, but tickling was something very alien to him. Not surprisingly he struggled with processing the maddening, yet gentle touches.

He didn't like to show any signs of weaknesses, but being tickled completely overwhelmed his heightened senses, especially in the touch department, and it was impossible for him to not react to it. There had been feelings of anger and humiliation at how easily simple fingers were able to render him powerless, and it only got worse once he finally broke into agonized laughter.

Logan hated the feeling of not having control, especially over his own body. Once he had managed to break free, he had been extremely cross with Wade and went into one of his brooding moods for the majority of the day.

After giving him time to cool off, Wade eventually approached him to apologize, and Logan shrugged it off now that his temper had died down. Though he had been working on trying to better himself and he explained to Wade what it had made him feel and why he had reacted so strongly against it.

Wolverine being vulnerable enough to share his feelings with him was one of the only times Wade was ever completely serious and really gave his full attention. Despite getting a kick out of always annoying him Wade never wanted to cause him true stress and it made him feel like a real asshole when Logan ended up apologizing to him too.

Wade promised to never do it to him again but added that he just got carried away due to the fact that he really liked seeing Logan not only smile but laugh especially. Logan had become utterly stupefied by that confession. He thought Wade had only been trying to torment and embarrass him, which was what had really set him off.

He had then taken the next few days to reflect on that. He could definitely empathize with how good it felt to see someone you really cared about experiencing joy. Knowing that Wade's intentions were far from malicious had really put his mind at ease about it, realizing that his pride had gotten the better of him.

And the more he thought back on it it really wasn't that bad.

Which was why Wade's squawk of surprise when Logan tackled him from out of nowhere to attack his sides with tickles gave Logan the same fuzzy feeling he assumed Wade had had. Wade not only was laughing from the tickling, but from relief as well, realizing that he'd been unspokenly forgiven.

He didn't even fight it and just let Logan tickle him to his heart's content until finally the man stopped and grunted that he had hoped he'd "learned his lesson" while giving him a small smirk.

Wade was able to read between the lines and took the chance to pounce him the very next day, and despite some growling threats he received the older mutant didn't seem entirely displeased. Logan had completely let his guard down, which now enabled him to truly experience it in full.

Still, he made Wade work for it before he finally stopped holding in his laughter. The crazy merc then proceeded to make him laugh harder than he could ever remember doing in his past, and he found the brain chemical effects from that to do wonders for his mood.

The funny thing about it to Logan was that even though he was rendered helpless from tickling he realized that he was still 100% safe, and he found that to be a very comforting thought. It was a new experience for him to be in such a close proximity struggle where the end goal wasn't to try to hurt or kill him.

Sure, Wade would use tickling as a form of retaliation a lot of times, but it was all the same to Logan by now. Naturally he wasn't always in the mood for a tickle attack, but these days more often than not he didn't fight it too much and was quite content to let his roommate turn him into a squirming, wheezing wreck.

Of course, for appearances sake, Logan would still curse his head off and threaten the man's life at every turn. Up until the mischievous merc would tickle him to the point he could barely take it and turn that macho attitude into desperate pleas for mercy.

Which brings us back to our current situation.

"Dahahammit! I-I dihihihidn't ahahask for a wahahahaake up cahahahall!"

"No thanks needed! It's totally complimentary in el Casa de Wade. But don't mind me, feel free to go back to sleep. I'm just going to keep counting these ribs here until we get to the bottom of this. Ah, finally we found 7 and 8."

Wade was still acting as if this whole idea was just to count his ribs and hadn't even acknowledged that he was purposely tickling him and realizing that made Logan feel even more giddy as he let out a snort and shook his head.

"Wade c'mooon! Get ohohohoff! Ya-heehehehe-Ya know I'm ticklihihihihish, fucker!" His big-muscled arms were clamped so tightly against his sides, but there was no stopping the determined fingers crawling up his ribs.

"Whaaa? Wolverine? Ticklish? Ha! That's absurd! My guy Logan is way too mean and strong and tough to be affected by something so childish! Oh boy, and I thought I was the king of jokes around here. Now come on, stop messing around and just move your arms out of the way so I can finish this," Wade smirked, loving to tease him about his ticklishness in regard to his hard-core reputation.

"You fuhuhuhucking ahahahasshohohohole!" Logan snorted hard and now fell over to the side as he began scooting along the couch to get away.

"Heheh, where do you think you're going? Stop being so dramatic, Nancy Kerrigan. It's okay to make that joke now, right? 30 years later is fair," he shrugged at the camera, not letting up one bit as he followed along with his squirming prey, "I can feel 9 and 10 now. We're almost halfway there! Oooh! How exciting!"

"Cuhuhut it ohohohout! Heeheheheheheheh! Juhuhust drohop this stuhuhupid ideheeheeheea!"

The higher Wade went the stronger the tickling sensations felt, and Logan was pretty sure he was going to die before the last of his ribs were even reached, though in his mind it honestly wasn't the worst way for him to go.

"🎵 Ohhhh the itsy-bitsy spiders crawled up the waterspout….🎵," Wade effortlessly sing-songed with clawed fingers continuing their torturously slow progress, thoroughly scraping over every rib bone they came across, "🎵 Down came the rain….but couldn't wash the spiders out because they were having too much fun counting all these cute little ribbies. 🎵."

It always made Logan feel silly whenever Wade's teases took on a more juvenile form. He was the tenacious and deadly Wolverine and yet Wade was treating him like he was just some harmless little kid. He was never able to stop the blush from spreading across his face.

"Shuhuhuhuut uhuhuhup! Ohohor you're gohohonna haahahave another fuhuhuhuckin'-Hahahahahahehee-hohohohole t-to breheeheeheeathe outta yohohour fahahahat hehehehead!"

"Wow. We're body shaming now? I'm very sensitive about my fat head, you know. Well have you looked in the mirror lately, mister? Just walking around with those big, sexy arms and your handsomely chiseled jawline, and don't even get me started on all that sculpted beef that you're hiding in disgrace underneath this shirt. Yeah, doesn't feel so good now, does it, you absurdly attractive man? Uh huh….oh….yup, right there we got 11 and 12."

Wade was just so ridiculous sometimes, but when Logan was already caught in a laughing fit the merc's unstoppable blabbering only succeeded in making him laugh even harder. And unfortunately, he was slowly losing his will to carry on with acting tough through this tickle session.

"Fihihihiiine! I'm-heeheehehahahahaha-I'm sorrrrry! I tahahahake it bahahahaack! Just stooohohohoooop!" Logan didn't know how much more he could take of this. Actually, he did know due to having suffered under Wade's fingers for months now, and the answer was a lot.

"Why? I'm just trying to get a count here. 13……14…..It's for science. Hey look, I'm sorry……," Wade pretended to show some remorse before breaking into a huge smirk, "Sorry my wittle Wolvie-polvie is too freakin' ticklish for his own good!"

Logan's back finally met the armrest of the couch, preventing him from going any further as he leaned back over it to try to get away. Though this now had his ribcage fully stretched out as Wade stepped it up and dug his fingers in mercilessly between rib bones, making Logan positively howl in laughter.

"Ahahahahaa! Wade naahahahahahahaho! Pleheheease! Thahahahaat tickles!" He thrashed madly trying to wiggle away, but Wade had him pinned right where he wanted him as he just snickered at the situation.

"I think at this point you know that was part of my plan all along. Hehehe, but we're so close! Think of the prestige we'll get from this scientific breakthrough! Oh! I think I just found 15! Oooh! And could that be 16?! C'mon, buddy! Bear with me now!"

The upper ribs were basically in Logan's armpits that were covered with a more fleshy layer and Wade was really having to probe in there to actually feel the bones beneath.

"Not thehehehere! Noohot thehehehehehehhehehere! Haahahahaheeheeheeheehaa! Mehehehehercyyyyyy! Logan squealed helplessly with his head tilted back and showing off his elongated canine teeth; his face as red as a tomato as tears squeezed out of his tightly shut eyes.

The feral man's t-shirt had ridden up, exposing the lower half of his ripped stomach and Wade was currently in a position where it was at eye level. He smirked as he thought about how crazy Logan got whenever he would blow raspberries into his tummy, and he found the urge to do so was just too strong to resist as he took a deep breath.

"WAAAHahAHaHAhaHAHAAADE!!" Logan screamed with the first oral assault landing directly around his navel, breaking into silent laughter while wheezing desperately for air. Many more blows were delivered to his belly and ribs while the fingers continued tickling in his armpits as Logan summoned up any energy he had left and pushed with all he had in him at Wade's head and shoulders.

Eventually after being slapped and punched in the head so many times, Wade finally allowed himself to be pushed away, taking one last nibble at his hip bone.

"Geez, calm down Hugh, you over actor," he chuckled as he looked down at the man who was currently swallowing all the air he could and gingerly wiping away at tears.

"Okaaahaahay…..Fuckin' Hell……That's it…..for nohohow…..Y-You got me…..good……No more….right?"

"Weeeeeell if you would have just stayed still, we could have had this all over with. But noooooo, you just had to make me lose count," Wade sighed loudly in feigned disappointment, "Looks like I'm gonna have to start aaaallllllll over again."

With a wicked grin he began reaching out towards the still incapacitated man who was now shaking his head frantically as his hands raised in defense.

"N-No Wade. Not again. Stay back. Heehehehe-please. I can't take any more," he couldn't help giggling in anticipation as Wade hovered over him again.

"Hold still now…Don't worry Peanut, we'll get through this together. So that's 1……and 2…….and a coochie coochie coo…," Wade started again on his waist to get at his bottom ribs as Logan was already breaking into squeals.

"20?! Again?! For real?! I've counted three times already!"

Logan was hanging halfway off the couch; his hair sticking out in every direction and his cheeks slicked with tears as he coughed and tried to regain any hint of sanity he had left.

"It's……It's……fine…….Wade…..I'm sure……..they're in……there……somewhere……," he panted weakly, slowly starting to feel his energy revitalize.

"Or maybe you really do only have 20? My theory that you have fewer since you are shorter may be correct!" Wade was getting lost in his thoughts, but then at that moment a voice of reason sounded off.

"And remember, the 11th and 12th pair of ribs are referred to as 'floating ribs' and are only attached at the backbone….," the television was still on and by this point the doctor had gone back around and was summarizing everything he had just talked about.

The light bulb finally went on in Wade's head.

"Oh yeeeeah……forgot about those little buggers," Wade slowly turned to look at his friend whose eyes went wide as he scrambled to get away.

Five seconds later and Wade had Logan pinned on his stomach as his fingers wiggled into his lower back to find the missing rib pairs while Logan cackled wildly and pounded his fists with his feet uselessly kicking at the cushions.

"23…..and 24! Well would you look at that! I guess all humans are the same after all!" Wade declared happily as he finally climbed off of his roommate, signaling the end of his reign of terror, "Whaddya think, Wolvie? Aren't you so glad to have that useful little tidbit of information at your disposal?"

Logan gradually rolled over onto his back and raised an annoyed brow.

"Could've just fuckin' Googled it, bub," he growled, though a smile was still stuck on his face.

"Okay I admit waking you up may not have been the nicest way to go about it, but you know how impatient I am. And be honest, you really don't seem that upset about it," Wade grinned, reaching over to scribble fingers over his now exposed stomach while Logan snorted chuckles and tried to block him out with his knees before rolling away.

"You're lucky I didn't piss my pants, asshole. Drank a shit load of beers right before I fell asleep. I gotta piss like a fucking racehorse now," Logan stumbled to his feet and walked off to use the bathroom.

Wade grinned as he watched him walk away before turning to the audience.

"He's cute, ain't he? And I didn't hear any denial in that, did you? He doesn't know that I heard the author spill his secret earlier. It's nice to know that he actually enjoys it, even if he won't say it. I'm totally good with that."

The sound of Logan groaning in relief echoed down the hallway followed by the toilet flushing several moments later before he walked back out to join Wade on the couch.

"Did you make sure to put the seat back down? Althea won't be happy if she falls in again," he asked as Logan looked at him with a frown.

"That one was on you, shithead. I always remember to. You've lived how many years with this poor lady? I seriously don't know how she's put up with your stupid, inconsiderate ass for so long."

"Exactly the same way you do, sugar tits," Wade grinned and pinched his cheek, receiving an adamantium elbow into his side and grunting as the air was knocked out of him momentarily.

"It's a daily struggle that's for sure. But I owe ya a lot for breaking me out of my destructive cycle, so we'll call it even," Logan had softened his demeanor, knowing he truly owed Wade his gratitude as the other man noted this and took advantage of his guard being down.

"Awww there it is! Right there! I knew you loved me!" Wade squealed as he jumped onto Logan's lap and wrapped his arms around his head in the tightest of hugs.

"Gaah! Wade! Fuckin' dammit! Let go of me!" Logan struggled to pry Wade off of him until he was hit with a moment of inspiration as he latched his fingers onto Wade's unprotected sides to start tickling him with everything he had.

"Aahaahahah! Logan dohohohohooot! Thahahahat's nohohohot fahahahaaair!" Wade yelped with giggles as he quickly tried to escape, but Logan held him firmly in place.

"Fair? Okay, let's be fair. See we learned that all my ribs are there, but seems we've overlooked yours. Think it's best we check that out right away, don't you?" Logan asked with a crooked grin as Wade frantically shook his head while thrashing in his lap, "No? Well ain't that just too damn bad."

Logan dug right in with both strong hands, not even hiding the fact that his mission was to tickle the absolute shit out of his roommate.

"Okaahahahay yohohou cahahan cheheheck! Heheehhehahah! Juhuhust nohoho tihihihickling!"

"Now how do ya expect me to do that? You got an x-ray or some bullshit to show me? A fuckin' thesis paper on the matter? What? Ya don't? Well that fuckin' sucks for you. Looks like we're doing this the old-fashioned way. What number was I on? Oh yeah….1…….1…….1……1 again….."

"Cahahahahaaan't you fuhuhucking cohohount, you neahahahanderthal?!?!"

Logan smirked big time, repeatedly prodding into the same rib over and over.

"Guess not. Numbers apparently aren't my strong suit. Looks like this is gonna take alllll day then."

Wade could only laugh and squeal in response, knowing he had sealed his own doom.