#i keep having dreams about gay idols too

[mi1kbomb]

tsukasa loves showing off i think he would also like to show off how strong he is in the form of carrying rui 

[mindmelter]

Alien On The A-List - Ross Lynch Takeover

A vibrant, bustling crowd filled the arena, their excitement palpable as they eagerly awaited the arrival of their beloved idol, Ross Lynch. A particular individual within the crowd stood out, one of the few men among the majority female crowd, his heart racing and his palms sweaty not just from the energy in the crowd but from something more personal. His gaze never left the entrance, his eyes fixed awaiting for the man who had stolen his heart. The fan was obviously gay, horny and had a huge crush on Ross Lynch, the star and singer of the band. He had been following his idol's every move for years, attending concerts and collecting the tickets. Little did he know that fate would soon intervene in the form of a tiny, alien creature he would find that day.

The fan had been in many concerts before, but this particular place was an odd choice to host one, it was just too far away from the city and there was an old legend about the place, they say it used to be a military base where they would keep captured Aliens, but it was closed many years ago for mysterious reasons.

As the lights flickered and loud music began to play, the fans erupted into deafening cheers, their screams echoing through the arena. Ross Lynch finally emerged on stage, his charisma and charm immediately taking hold of the audience.

The gay fan felt a surge of happiness and desire course through his veins. He could only dream of having a chance with Ross, of somehow making contact with the object of his affection, but he knew it was impossible, he was just one gay fan among a crowd of four thousand people.

"Down here" The fan heard a voice say, he looked around confused, but everyone else was just enjoying the show. "No, down here! look to the ground" the voice spoke again.

And then, during this chaotic moment, he spotted it: a tiny, transparent, Alien humanoid, fighting not to be stomped by the crazy crowd.

Without hesitation, he picked it up, not realizing the significance of what he had just discovered. It was an alien creature, and it was about to change his life forever.

The alien and the fan started communicating through telepathy. The tiny creature explained that it was hibernating under the ground for decades and had just woken up but due to the loud music above. The Alien was very angry about being woken by the loud music and the singing voice of this human named "Ross Lynch" The Alien was trying now to find a new host to take over, but he almost got trampled by all those people, if it wasn't for the fan, he would have. The alien also seemed to understand the fan's infatuation with Ross Lynch and promised to help him get closer to his idol, but with one condition.

"My species feeds on human emotions, but Desire is the tastiest and sweetest human emotion, it makes us very strong. And you, human...you are full of it, I could feel your desire from miles away, and it is delicious. I just woke up from my hibernation, that means i'm starving, that's why I want to offer you a deal, I will make your dream come true by taking over the source of your desire, and all you have to do is just keep desiring him"

As the concert drew to a close, the fan devised a plan. They would do it during the meet-and-greet session that would happen after the concert.

Finally, the moment arrived. The fan waited in line, his heart pounding with anticipation and fear. When it was his turn, he stepped forward...

_________________________

Ross Lynch was in the middle of another exhausting meet and greet, signing autographs and taking selfies with his adoring fans. One particular fan, a young man who had been waiting in line for hours, approached the star with a box of chocolates and a tiny, plastic alien toy. As he kindly accepted the gift, the alien toy came to life and jumped right inside his mouth. The Alien's true form was gelatinous and slimy, so it was easy to slide inside.

Ross, feeling a foreign object in his throat, began to cough uncontrollably. The crowd around him grew silent, watching in horror as their idol choked on what appeared to be a tiny plastic toy. As he finally caught his breath, his eyes rolled back and his head went limp. The alien had made its way down his throat and into his brain, taking full control of his body.

Suddendly his white eyes went back to normal, and he glared at the scared fan. The security guards moved in to restrain the fan. But before they could touch him, Ross spoke: "Let him through." The guards hesitated, exchanging nervous glances, but eventually parted to let the gay fan approach him. As he stepped closer, a wicked grin spread across Ross's face.

"I've heard from a tiny Alien that you are a big fan of mine, is this true?"

The fan was speacheless, he tried to talk, to say yes!, to say he's been a huge fan for years, but no words came out, he was just too nervous to speak with his Idol. Ross just chuckled and turned to his staff members.

"End the meet and greet session, I'm done for today" Ross said to his staff. The possessed star then took the fan's hand and led him to the backrooms, away from the prying eyes of the crowd. The fan could barely believe this was really happening and he started to imagine what would happen next.

"That's it, keep imagining all the dirty things I'm gonna do to you" Ross told him.

The fan then continued imagining different hot scenarios of him alone with Ross. Ross just closed his eyes and started to moan while telepathically viewing all the things his horny gay fan was thinking about him. "Uuugghhhhh...fuck yes, I'm totally doing that...and that as well... Hmmm this looks hot!"

The fan was terrified but also strangely aroused by Ross's newfound dominance, he could only nod in agreement. Ross leaned in close, their breath mingling, and he whispered: "We are going to have toons of fun with this host." The possessed Ross Lynch then turned around, marching back to the halls.

They finally arrived at Ross's private dressing room, with the door closed Ross turned to face his fan. "Now," he smirked, "you're going to see what happens when you try to fuck with the wrong person."

With that, he pushed the fan roughly against the wall, taking off his white sweaty tank top and then throwing the shirt to the fan. "Sniff it" Ross ordered and the fan obeyed. Ross smirked as he watched.

"Good boy, I see you like my smell" he purred, before roughly shoving the fan's face into his sweaty armpit. "Suck it." he commanded. "It was what you wanted all this time wasn't it?"

The fan, overcome with a mixture of fear and lust, obeyed, wrapping his lips around Ross's sweaty armpit and sucking greedily. Hours of non-stop singing and dancing had left his body completely covered in sweat.

Meanwhile, inside Ross's brain, the alien creature was having the time of its life, reveling in the power it now wielded over its new host. It sent a wave of desire coursing through Ross's veins, and as he felt the fan's tongue lapping at his host's sweaty armpit, he could no longer contain himself. Grinning wickedly, he spun the stunned fan around and pinned him against the wall again, their bodies pressed tightly together. "Now," he growled, "it's time for you to see what I really want." And with that, he slid his hands down the fan's pants, grabbing his aroused member in his hand. As the two of them finally gave in to their desires, the possessed Ross Lynch and his adoring fan started to kiss, the fan forgot about the world outside the dressing room, lost in the throes of passion.

After the 8 minutes long french kiss, Ross ordered the fan to kneel before him, and the fan obeyed without hesitation, his heart racing with a mixture of fear and arousal. Ross Lynch placed a hand on the fan's head, pushing him towards his bulge roughly, and the fan felt Ross's hard boner inside his pants. "You're mine now," Ross growled, his voice deep and commanding. "This host belong to me, and you belong to this Host!"

The fan could feel Ross Lynch's erection pressing against his face, and he knew that he was going to get what he had always wanted. Ross Lynch grabbed the fan roughly by the hair, pulling his head back, and the fan gazed up into the intense, alien-possessed eyes of his idol. "You're going to worship my body, my sweat, my everything," Ross commanded. "And when I'm done with you, you're going to beg for more." The tiny alien within Ross Lynch's body was relentless, driving him to take control and dominate the situation, and the fan couldn't help but submit to the tough alpha persona the Alien was adopting.

Ross guided the fan's hands to his armpits while the fan licked his hard sweaty abs "Yeeees," Ross hissed, "that's it. Taste me, boy"

As their bodies moved together in a frenzy of lust, Ross Lynch reached down and started to unbuckle his belt.

After dropping the jeans to his ankles, Ross grabbed the fan's hand and guided it to his exposed, hardened flesh. The fan's fingers trembled as they wrapped around Ross's length, feeling the heat and the power that emanated from it. "That's it," Ross growled, "stroking your god. Show me how much you want me." And with that, Ross Lynch began to thrust against the fan's hand, his hips moving in a powerful rhythm that drove the fan to the brink of ecstasy.

The fan could feel Ross Lynch's breath hot against his ear, his words sending shivers down his spine. "This is what you always dreamed of," Ross whispered, "and I'm going to make sure you remember this for the rest of your life." And with that, Ross leaned down, capturing the fan's lips in a brutal kiss, their tongues clashing together as they exchanged their saliva.

As their hot passionate encounter came to a climax, Ross Lynch let out a primal roar, his body tense and shuddering as he released his seed deep into the fan's hand. The fan felt a wave of heat and pleasure wash over him as he came as well, his body convulsing with the force of his orgasm. And when it was over, Ross leaned back on a chair, catching his breath, his chest heaving as he looked down at the fan sprawled beneath him. The fan watched in awe as Ross's softening member pulsated every few seconds, he also could see the alien still glowing brightly within Ross's eye, its presence both terrifying and thrilling all at once.

"So? How did you like it? I tried to recreate exactly the fantasy I saw in his mind." Ross said, a smile curling the corners of his lips. "It looks like this whole experience left you speechless, I understand, you need time to recover" He laughed, and with that, he leaned down once more, kissing the fan softly on the forehead, as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. "Thank you for feeding me, I'm full now"

The fan stayed on the floor, he just smiled and looked down to his cum covered hand, he couldn't help but wonder what other more adventures they would share together.

____________________________________

"This is our destiny" Ross sang to the loud crowd.

Four days had passed after the take over, and Ross was already singing at another concert as he was still on tour. The fan was now sitting in the front and exclusive row, which allowed the fan a perfect, up-close view of Ross's fit, sweaty body. For a few moments while he was singing, Ross would look, wink and point at this particular fan. For some people it even seemed that Ross was singing only for him.

[happypotato48]

GMMTV 2024 PART 2 Unhinged Tangent Thoughts (Only The Queers Though)

Ossan’s Love Thailand รักนี้ให้ "นาย": oh here we go again for the third times. i'm still skeptical about it and Chakrit Yamnam definitely is not an ossan yet but... damnnnnn my inner slut for older men sense is tingling, i know gmmtv just gonna keep doing this boring BL idol pairs nonsense, but like can we get more older gays/age gap BLs? i haven't seen Chakrit in ages and that man still so damn fine! he and our honorary uncle earth could've been something that thai BL is currently lacking, a sloppy hotmess Daddies. but alas that will remain a dream for now.

The ​Heart Killers เขาจ้างให้ผมจีบนักฆ่า: i haven't watch the Eclipse yet and really didn't liked both Star In My Mind and Hidden Agenda and definitely never gonna watch Only Friend (seen all the sex scenes though.) i loved the chaotic energy the trailer giving and i'm always a sucker for black comedy (don't know if this show gonna be that but fingercrossed) when it done correctly. also this show better serve us so many leather bad boy looks. i may have not be completely sold on this show yet, but i'm horny for it.

สายรหัสเทวดา Perfect10 Liners: "Too Many Cooks repeated for several minutes" i'm going to be there for forcebook and juniormark but like wtf in frash glee hell is this, most of these mofos are pushing 30. let them be adults god danm it, i know that the target demographic for gmmtv is young adults and teenagers and that they really love/good at??? school settings. but come on let's our peter pans and wendies fly free. they're probably bored out of their fucking minds by now.

Us รักของเรา | GMMTV 2024 PART 2: i'm gonna be a good little homo and let's all the great wlws do all the talking for this show. i'm not keen on the sibling's lover stealing trope but hey as the great Lucille Bluth one said, good for her.

Thame - Po (เธม-โป้): HEART THAT SKIPS A BEAT: hehehe, Est is so pretty, ok i'm sold i'm easy like that. i was never into any boy bands as a teen, but there like a lot of former thai boy bands members that came out as gay in recent years so maybe i shouda had. anywhoo i probably not gonna mind the singing and dancing in this show since most of them going to be done by singers/dancers and not actors turned idols.

REVAMP THE UNDEAD STORY: i'm really not into serious vempires so this show is kinda meh for me. the goofy ones though those i'd have eat up. this one probably a pass for me.

แฟนที่ทันตแพทย์ส่วนใหญ่แนะนำ Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist: all my blorbos are here we get mark, baby ohm, poon, and หมอjim. ahhhhhhh!! i need it now. i also don't mind dentists like most people especially when they're good looking guys, those handsome doctors can put anything in my mouth😉

เพราะแฟนเก่าเปลี่ยนแปลงบ่อย The Ex-Morning: is this going to be our second coming BL? idk i never there for first one 😝this show either going to be a good meta commentary about the whole business that gone down or its head going be so up it own ass that will take several bottles of lube to get the head out to see the sunlight. we'll see.

[shikishake]

today in "shiki finds something neat and proceeds to obsess over it for weeks or months", I started playing Project Sekai. y'know, the hatsune miku gacha game about lesbians and gays. that's what it's about, I promise.

that is, until I started fucking thinking about it more, and now I... well it's still about lesbians and gays, but also I think it's saying something about music. maybe. or maybe I'm projecting my own ideas about music onto a story, that could be it too. I did that with bandori but it was less comprehensive so I didn't post it.

so like. there's 5 units, each of 4 people, right? and they're like, entirely different groups, both in how they formed, what the dynamic is between them and what kind of music they make. leo/need is a group of childhood friends making a band, more more jump is an up and coming idol group headed by a newbie who re-ignited the passions of three retired/disillusioned veterans, vivid bad squad is a community-focused street group, wonderlandsxshowtime is a theme park musical theatre group, and nightcord at 25:00 is a group of depressed teenagers who met online coming together to make music about how depressed they are. that last one sounds negative but I don't know how else to describe it. they're my favorite though, so y'know. no hate.

but like. that's surface level stuff, obviously. and when you dig a little deeper, I think each of these units has a theme, more specifically a way to "use" music to express certain ideas.

leo/need is music as a way of connecting, and of staying connected, with the people you care about. it's a group of friends who had drifted apart, finding each other again through music. it's using music to take hold of the things that matter to you, the people you love, and keeping them tight against you. it's music as a way to stay grounded and aware of the people around you.

more more jump is music as a way of reaching for your dreams, of shooting for the stars. it's music as a way of igniting passions and inspiring hope. it's music as a goal, it's music as a goalpost to run toward, and it's music as a way to give others a reason to run with you. it's music as something that you give yourself to more and more and more.

vivid bad squad is music as community, as a way of reaching out and meeting new people, making new connections, finding new experiences, chasing new dreams. it's music as something that matters only in the moment it's made, it's music as something that doesn't need to be bought or sold, it's music as a group of people coming together to MAKE something. it's music that defines itself by the people who listen to it, not just the people who make it.

those three are kind of a trifecta of... not quite foils, but something close. they play off each other. leo/need's music as a way of staying connected with what you have vs vivid bad squads' music as a way of reaching out for something new. vivid bad squads' music as something home-grown and home-bound, something that reaches out NEAR to you, something for a community and by a community, for the people you know vs more more jump's music as something for the world, something kind of corporate but more than that something that reaches out FAR, made for the people that DON'T know you for anything except the image you put out. leo/need's passion for music as an end goal and more more jump's passion for music as a means TO an end, where leo/need strives to perform better because they want to have their music hit harder (aka for the sake of making better music) where more more jump strives to perform better because they want to reach more people.

and like. I KNOW what niigo, nightcord at 25:00, is. it's music as a way to heal, it's music as a way to preserve, it's music as a way to face the hardships of the past and keep going. it's music as life, as something that GRANTS life. it's music as a way to say "hey. life sucks. but it won't always." it's music as a way to save, as a way to find the light in a place that feels so so so dark, it's music as something that expresses the darkness, indulges in it, but at the end of the day it gives you a warm hug and says "it's dark and scary and painful, but we'll get out of here together." it's music that provides comfort specifically BY facing the dark head on.

but I struggled to figure out exactly what wonderlandsxshowtime was. there's the surface level answer, of music as a way to make people smile, but that's... like, have you read the lyrics to their commissioned songs? it's dark. the peppy tone and upbeat voices mask it well, but the things they're talking about aren't JUST about making you smile. but it's also not about masking pain WITH a smile, because they're too genuine. tsukasa, emu, rui and nene aren't hiding pain. they're not faking it. even when the stories show that they had troubles in the past or even still have troubles now, they're not a secret that has been uncovered, they're explanations and explorations of WHY they are who they are. tsukasa isn't faking his enthusiasm, his passion for acting and performing. his wish to become a star isn't FAKE, even through the loneliness of the past. emu isn't hiding some dark past, she's genuinely just like this, even during the more serious moments with her family. nene is shy, sure, but it's not like it took digging or even a lot of time for her to start being her true sassy self towards the rest. rui's lonely because him being himself scared people away, but it's not like he's NOT himself because of that. he's completely and fully his genuine self, and if people don't like that then so be it. he's the lonely alchemist, sure, but he never pretended to NOT be the alchemist.

so I struggled a little. until I realized that wxs and niigo are foils, too, in a very unexpected way.

wxs is death. it's endings. it's music as a way to acknowledge the inevitable end, and face that with a smile. it's music as the realization that everything you know, everything you love, will someday stop, and how to keep going despite that. it's music that looks at the hardships of the future and says "but even so, we'll smile". it's seeing the end of the ride coming into view but screaming and cheering even as it starts to reach the final descent. it's the merry-go-round that keeps spinning and spinning and spinning until it can't anymore, until it ALL stops.

niigo is life, the darkness surrounding you and the fire in the distance. wxs is death, fanning the flames with a smile as the dark encroaches.

niigo finds the light in the dark, wxs does its damnedest to keep hold of it.

niigo faces the massive road ahead and whispers "we haven't even started yet."

wxs approaches the end of the road and screams "we haven't even started yet".

[bthump]

In terms of plot/characterization, what purpose do you think the gay water fight/Griffith’s naked speech after serve? I love reading it through a queer lens as much as anybody but wondering how Miura may have intended it?

In my head it’s both a demonstration of Griffith’s childlike side and like, baring himself before Guts as this perfect looking/idealized being saying he’s going to get his kingdom…but then the nakedness makes it weirdly vulnerable too…? Would love to hear your thoughts!!

I agree that there's a vulnerability to Griffith, and his child-like side is v deliberate imo.

I actually take it as a parallel to the flashback with Griffith and Casca in the river after Gennon, in that Griffith is physically naked and emotionally open, very humanized, in both scenes before closing back up with a reaffirmation of his dream. The river scene is like a sad and depressing and more revealing reprise, in a way, where it becomes very clear that Griffith's dream obsession is a defense mechanism, rather than a genuine belief.

In the waterfight scene Griffith and Guts connect in a playful way, as two children who don't get to act like children very often. And imo it's an interesting affirmation of their true equality deep down, despite appearances/social status/dreams: Griffith just won a duel to keep Guts as a soldier, but now Guts wins a "duel" in the waterfight. He even calls them even after dumping the last bucket of water over Griffith's head. It's also nicely symbolic for Guts choosing to stay, rather than feeling forced by a duel.

I think the point is mainly to show how they're compatible as friends, and that one big reason Griffith likes Guts is because Guts treats him pretty irreverently (up until the Promrose Hall speech), in a way no one else we see really does. He plays with him, wins the water fight when Griffith isn't expecting it, and questions why Griffith saved his life in the raid the night before. This dynamic feels like a good starting point for Guts ignoring Griffith's orders and Griffith planning around him instead of keeping him in line like Casca wants him to do, Griffith asking Guts to assassinate people for him instead of ordering him to, Guts trying to visit Griffith after Zodd injures him because "who gives a damn about social status?" before being stopped by Casca, etc.

Griffith shuts down Guts' question by claiming he only saved Guts' life because he's a good soldier, and then moves onto his grandiose speech about his dream, and imo that's an emotional distancing tactic. Something Griffith probably isn't really aware he's doing, but it's a way for him to subconsciously protect himself from the realization that Guts is more important to him than his dream, by denying that he saved Guts for any reason except that it serves his dream.

It basically helps set up Griffith's image while sowing seeds that belie that image - Griffith is dedicated to a dream, Griffith is impressive and noble and Guts will die when Griffith chooses but not before then, yadda yadda yadda. That's the image. But the reality underneath is Griffith inviting a blushing Guts to bathe with him while naked lol, starting a waterfight with him and losing, and essentially being a 15 year old kid with a crush. Or wait, you said aside from the homoeroticism lol. I'll describe it as being a 15 year old kid who needs a friend who doesn't treat him like an idol, but doesn't know that's what he needs yet, and can't quite conceive of how friendship works because he's too obsessed with his dream.

So yeah basically Griffith acting like an ordinary human kid who wants a friend with Guts, then closing himself off and making it all about the dream when Guts basically calls him out on risking his life to save him. This dichotemy that Judeau describes at the start of the chapter, illustrated, and just begun to be explained:

He's a child who has to act like an adult, a kid with a little too much wisdom, a good guy who becomes a villain because he talks himself into believing he is.

As for Guts, I think this scene demonstrates a big part of why Guts chooses to stay with the Hawks. He doesn't stay just because Griffith beat him in a fight - after this scene he spends a while reflecting and wondering if he should stay, and decides that he wants to.

So for Guts it's the feeling of making friends including Griffith, having Griffith's trust as a soldier, and having Griffith save his life. This chapter is the turning point where Guts decides he's found a place, at least "for now," and it's no coincidence that the main focus of this chapter is Guts bonding with Griffith.

All that said, I don't think the waterfight can really be divorced from homoeroticism honestly. Like it just seems disingenuous to ignore it when it comes to moments like this:

I do definitely think there's an extent to which Miura intended the homoeroticism, and intended to imply that Guts and Griffith at the very least have the potential to connect romantically, whether that's something Miura would've imagined for them in an AU where nothing goes wrong, or whether it would always be unrealized potential that simply adds to the intensity and complexity of their relationship. It's a safe bet to assume the latter I suppose, but either way, it's there, and Miura has discussed homoeroticism in the context of Griffith and androgynous characters in general, at least.

So I do think another important aspect of the scene is to show a spark of physical attraction between them. But yeah tbf it's not the most relevant aspect thematically, it's more like some extra flavour that colours Guts and Griffith's relationship. Everything about them still makes technical sense as a platonic friendship. Just not quite as much thematically satisfying sense lol.

And lastly I have a longer take on this scene in the second part of this essay if you're interested, but this is the gist of it. Thanks for asking, it's good to have an excuse to discuss the scene by itself rather than having my take on it stuck buried in a super long essay lol.

[kokinu09]

Fake Love

Inspiration :

For you, I could pretend like I was happy when I was sad

For you, I could pretend like I was strong when I was hurt

I wish love was perfect as love itself

I wish all my weaknesses could be hidden

I grew a flower that can’t be bloomed in a dream that can’t come true

—BTS, Fake Love (English Translation)

💥Trigger Warning : Toxic Exes, breakup over the phone, implied friends to lovers, gay panic moment, MinSung (Minho x Jisung)

Word count : 2,347

AO3

A/N : This was intended to be a short little prompt and it obviously got away from me! 🤗 Originally supposed to be for @rainfallingfromthesky but the MinSung makes me think @keepswingin will be a fan. 😂 Hope you enjoy it!~

~*~

“It’s just not working out,” Jisung tells her gently, phone pressed to his ear, bracing for the inevitable argument.

“Wait, what?! You’re breaking up with me?!” She exclaims through the line.

“Yeah… I’m sorry…” he apologizes as sincerely as he can muster. But he’s not really sorry.

This girl has been doing nothing but ask him for money or to buy her things all week! Most of the time, she doesn’t even respond to his texts! It’s too obvious that she doesn’t and hasn’t even cared about him or his feelings for the past four months. So he’s decided now is as good a time as ever to let her go. Cut his losses and move on.

The laugh he hears in response is sarcastic at best before she switches to an overly sweet coo. “You don’t wanna break up with me! Come on, Ji baby! Why don’t we go out to a nice restaurant and talk about this!”

Usually, he’d feel bad for handling a breakup over the phone instead of in person, but he’s so glad he did in this case. The way his eyes roll to the back of his skull in annoyance at the suggestion would have definitely offended her worse. He’s struggling enough just trying to keep his breathing even and not letting out any noises of frustration. Maybe he should have just texted her at this point.

“No, no. There’s no reason to draw this out,” he says, hearing a ‘but’ as he goes on to keep her from interrupting. “It’s been fun but I don’t think we’re good for each other. It’d just be best for both of us to go our separate ways.” He rushes out and crosses his fingers that she won’t make this harder than it needs to be.

On the other end, he heard her scoff. “Really, wow. I guess the rumors really were true. Do you think you’re better than everyone else, Han Jisung? ‘Cause I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you’re not all that.” She sneers. “It was embarrassing hearing about you from all my friends. Seeing all those videos of you having a panic attack walking through the airport. What kind of Idol gets anxiety from just getting on a plane!” She laughs cruelly.

“Ouch, okay then. I see what this really meant to you,” Jisung snaps back angrily, not that this was any news to him.

He already knew she was only into him for his money but his heart still hurts that he still hasn’t been able to find someone who likes him for him. Whether he had money and fame or not.

“You won’t have to worry about me ‘embarrassing you’ anymore. It’s over.” His tone burns with anger as the words leave his lips. Sharp-edged, firm and indisputable. No room for argument.

“Fine!” She huffs in arrogant annoyance. “You’ll be back.” She adds he can hear the cocky smirk she must be wearing as she says it.

Breathing a laugh, “Doubtful,” he says, ending the call before he can waste another second on their pointless relationship.

Jisung sighs as he drops his phone to the mattress, pressing the heels of his hands against his eye sockets. He’s exhausted. It’s been the same thing over and over again since he’s tried dating.

He hates it. He can’t tell who genuinely cares about him or who’s only out for themselves. It always starts off great and they seem so sweet and affectionate. Then, at some point along the way, it just flips and they’re flirting with the other members or only giving him attention when they want something.

His mind is a mess, thoughts racing in the worst possible directions. From the self-conscious worry of ‘Is it him?’ ‘Is he the reason it never works out?’ To the despair of ‘he’ll be alone forever.’ ‘He’ll never find someone who truly loves him.’

The buzz of his phone beside him pulls his brain out of its spiraling. He glances at the back of it, debating if he dare flip it over and see who was messaging him. It was probably her, continuing the arguments or pleading for another chance.

It’s always the same.

With a resigned huff, he grabs his phone more aggressively than was probably necessary as he flips the screen to see the notification. The tension in his brow immediately eases, sighing out a relieved breath at seeing it in fact wasn’t a text from ‘Little Miss Gold Digger’ but instead was from Minho. A pointless text about his meal, complete with a picture of proof. Too zoomed in to really tell if it looks good or not.

Even still. No matter how mundane the topic is, Jisung finds that he’s never annoyed by his best friend’s messages. He actually looks forward to them. They make him feel normal for once.

He closes his eyes as his head tilts back with a smile spreading across his lips. A feeling of deep gratitude replacing all the negativity that had filled his chest. Thankful that he’s not truly alone. He has Minho and the rest of his members going through it with him. The few people who understand everything he’s going through. Minho, the one who knows him better than anyone else in the world. Who he can turn to with his struggles without worry of judgment.

He’s already pressed the call button before even giving it a second thought. And Minho doesn’t disappoint, answering on the first ring.

“Ah, my dinner looked too delicious for you to resist, huh Jagiya?” He laughs, the infectious sound tugging at the corners of Jisung’s lips.

“Yeah right, I couldn’t even tell what you were having, hyung,” he replies with a chuckle that quickly dies with his sunken mood. “But uh, would it be ok if I come by your dorm tonight?”

There’s a pause from the other end of the line.

“Of course you can,” he says easily before asking, “Is something wrong, Hannie?”

Jisung cringes at the question because he can’t be honest and just say ‘everything is wrong actually.’ Minho would worry about him. And Jisung already felt like too much of a burden by asking to come over.

So he’ll lie to ease it a little bit.

“Everything’s fine, hyung. I just, don’t wanna be alone right now,” but he can’t stop the honesty that slips out. Minho was good for that. No matter how much Jisung wants to hide the truth, it always comes out around him.

“Come over, Hannie. We can talk if you want after we watch a few episodes together,” Minho offers, a gentle undertone to his voice. Understanding and willing to listen. When he’s ready, of course.

~*~

Two episodes quickly snowballs into five as it often did when Minho and Jisung binge-watch a show together. The TV is switched off when Minho finally decides it’s getting a little late.

Jisung uncurls himself from around the dancer with a stretch and yawn. Another habit the two have adopted over the years of watching anime together. Slowly migrating across the couch or mattress until they are huddled up to each other for warm, comfy cuddles.

It’s never been something they’ve thought about much. They enjoyed the skinship and didn’t question it further than that.

“I guess I could go back to the other dorms now,” Jisung sighs, shoving his palms against the cushions to push himself up.

“Hold on, Hannie. We’re not done here yet,” Minho says, grabbing his wrist to yank him back down on the couch. Jisung chuckles but doesn’t put up much of a fight as he relaxes back into his seat.

“What are you talking about, Weirdo? You’re the one who turned the show off!” He retorts playfully. But Minho turns his whole body to face him, giving his undivided attention.

“Don’t you wanna talk about what was bothering you earlier?” He asks, tilting his head as his elbow props it up on the back of the sofa.

Jisung stiffens.

He’d almost forgotten. But everything comes flooding back to the forefront of his mind. The struggle, the longing, the loneliness. He’d almost forgotten of that in the few hours he spent with Minho.

But it will inevitably all come back when he leaves again. Searching for the person who will fill the cracks left in his heart.

How was he even supposed to explain that?

The rapper lets out a heavy sigh, eyes fixed on the way his fingers pick at a frayed string on his jeans. “I broke up with that girl I was seeing. You know, the blonde one?”

Minho hums. “Good, I didn’t like her anyway.”

“Huh?!” Jisung shrieks. “Why didn’t you say anything for the last four months?!” But Minho just shrugs.

“She wasn’t butting into my Hannie time too much.” Then he pauses, dramatically tapping his chin in thought. “To be honest, I kinda forgot she existed half the time.”

That makes Jisung chuckle almost humorlessly. “Yeah me too,” he sighs. “The only reason she liked me was the fame and money. When I told her I was done, she even made fun of me for my anxiety. She didn’t care about me, she never did.” His words quiet and fragile as they left his mouth. The unspoken worry of ‘Will anyone ever love me?’ lingering in the air.

“Well that’s her loss.” Minho says firmly, and Jisung sees the anger burning behind his eyes when he looks back at him. “And if she really can’t understand that your anxiety is not a choice, then she didn’t deserve you in the first place.”

If he thought about it, looking close enough, he could swear he saw smoke coming out of Minho’s nostrils with how angry he seems. It sends a wave of warmth spreading through his chest as a quiet chuckle bubbles out. “Of course you think that, you’re my overprotective best friend!”

Minho stays quiet for a moment, his eyes seeming to search his for something he can’t quite place. But his gut flips with a nervousness he’s not used to with his best friend. Then Minho sighs softly in resignation as he leans back, breaking the tension strung tightly between them.

“No, Hannie, I mean it. You deserve the world from whoever you choose to be with.” He corrects but Jisung furrows his brows as a pout scrunches his face.

“Ok, sure. Whatever you say,” he grumbles. “I haven’t found anyone even remotely close to treating me like that so far.” He lets out his own deep sigh. “I want to find the real thing but it’s so hard. Everyone’s a fan but for all the wrong reasons. I’m so sick of this fake love.”

“Then stop looking out there and look around instead.”

Jisung’s head snaps up to look at the older boy across from him. Minho holds his gaze, intently watching for his reaction. Does he mean what he thinks he means? And why has his stomach erupted into a fit of butterflies?

“Wh-what are you talking about, hyung! Don’t say weird stuff!” Jisung laughs nervously, trying to play it off as if his brain wasn’t suddenly speeding at a million miles an hour. As if his heart wasn’t racing with a mix of panic and giddiness.

Minho’s eyes crinkle in the corners as a smirk forms on his lips. “There’s nothing weird about being honest about how you feel!” He teases lightly, clearly enjoying Jisung’s squirming and flushed cheeks.

The younger makes an embarrassed noise, covering his face with his hands to hide the darkening shade of red. “Ah! You’re just messing with me!”

Warm, gentle fingers wrapping around his wrist to pull his hand away. Jisung’s wide eyes lift to look at him. “I’m not.” He replies with a softened smile, his hand keeping contact with the skin of his wrist.

The look in his eyes made his spine tingle and his heart flutter. It dawns on him that he hopes it’s true. Hopes that Minho feels something stronger than friendship towards him. His stomach does a somersault at the prospect.

When did the feelings for his best friend grow past admiration into this deep fondness? And why has he never noticed it happening?

He isn’t sure how long he sat there trying to wrack his brain for an answer before Minho’s chuckle snaps him out of his own head. “You’re overthinking it, Sungie.”

He wasn’t wrong, but how could he not?! This is his best friend! What if they try to make something work between them and then it ruins what they already have?!

Minho’s grip on his wrist squeezes lightly, pulling him out of his thoughts again. A soft smile is there waiting for him.

“I don’t need you to say anything right now. Just, think about it, ok?” The dancer requests, eyes pleading.

Jisung wants to tell him how he feels. But how can he do that when he hasn’t even sorted through his feelings himself? So he gulps down the lump in his throat and nods, trying to portray his sincerity through their held gaze.

The way Minho’s eyes crinkle happily again makes Jisung relax, his chest filling with warmth. “Good, now come here, Sungie. One more episode won’t hurt, right?” He readjusts with his arms open, welcoming the other boy in for cuddles again.

Jisung laughs under his breath but doesn’t argue, scooting closer and tucking himself against Minho’s side like he always does. Minho’s arm tightens around his shoulders before relaxing, rubbing his back comfortingly.

As the episode starts up, Jisung finds himself letting out a content sigh, snuggling deeper into Minho’s chest. He doesn’t have to overthink this. This is his comfort place. And Minho can read him without him saying a word. Complicated wasn’t a thing between them. They’ll figure out what they want in due time and everything will be fine. He’s sure of it.

And even though he feels like he’s been through hell trying to get here, maybe he’s finally found a safe place to keep his heart.

[ateezivy]

it's strange

wave era ( 2019 )

jongho and ivy are close enough to know what the other is thinking at this point. they know everything about each other, everything. and it's so easy for them to pick up on something.

"you good?" jongho was leaned against the rooms door as ivy laid in bed reading. she seemed startled by the olders sudden appearance.

"yeah, why?"

she knew why, she's been acting weird all week. hell, maybe even longer. jongho sighs and shuts the door, keeping outside ears from hearing their conversations.

"you're acting differently" he raised an eyebrow.

"i'm not trying to," she shrugged. he knew that, she doesn't like standing out more than she already did. "it it that obvious?"

jongho shrugged with a head tilt "to me, yeah, but the others know you almost as much as i do"

she grumbled and rolled over in her bed, stuffing her head in her pillow.

"so tell me what's bothering you so i can help" the older said, sitting beside her

"i can't" she muffled from her pillow.

"why not?"

"it's... complicated"

"is that code for 'you haven't told your therapist yet'"

"maybe."

"jisoo-ah, you can tell me. not like i'm gonna run and tell seonghwa-hyung or something" he chuckled. ivy will tell seonghwa anything, but it has to be at a time where she's ready. she says he can be dramatic when it comes to certain situations and the first thing he wants to do is solve the issue. but ivy like to let the issue sit for a while.

ivy sat up, breathing in deeply,

"yeah, about that, i already told him"

"what? before me? since when?" jongho chuckled, showing a hint of betrayal.

"listen i was freaking out and you weren't home and you definitely would've made fun of me for it" she rambled, trying to defend her simple action.

"because i didn't even mean to tell seonghwa" she sighed, "i was panicking"

"okay well panic again and tell me" he said

"jonho!"

"what?" he said "i wanna help. and know"

"...you can't make fun of me"

"okay," he nods. she thinks for a second and sighs

"it's wrong, and i know i shouldn't..." she plays with the rings on her fingers "i like mingi"

"oh shit."

jongho knows her and mingi's relationship was one of a kind, but he didn't think either of them liked the other. especially not olivia of all people. "for how long"

"a while. i liked him before we even debuted" she refuses to make eye contact with her friend. this could ruin everything. literally. everything.

"why is it different now?"

she clears her throat, shifting around "i think it's just gotten stronger"

she feels butterflies, around the guy who's supposed to be nothing more than a best friend, nothing more than metaphorical family. it was wrong to like someone you work with as it is, but to be in the same group. live with each other, share a room together. she never goes a day without seeing him. ever.

"what did hwa say"

"he was shocked. he told me to talk to him. but i can't do that" she chuckled

"why not"

this is when she finally looks at him. she shoots him a glare as if saying 'be so for real right now'

"you know why"

ivy gets off her bed to put her clothes away, they've been sitting in that pile for two days.

"what if he likes you back"

"we can't date"

"says who?" jongho really wasn't one to care about what others say anyway.

"everyone, literally everyone"

"we don't have a dating ban jisoo-ah"

oh. and the contracts never said anything about relationships within groups.

"it'll still ruin things"

"people ship you with all of us anyway" jongho says, fighting every word she says

"just because people say they want something doesn't mean they'd be happy when it does."

this is very true, especially in the kpop fandom. people ship male idols with other male idols, but heaven forbid gay kpop idols actually come out. it angered ivy, the way people switch up their dreams when it becomes reality.

"you should still talk to him, maybe hongjoong too" jongho sighed, ruffled her hair, and then walked out of the room.

leaving ivy all by herself, to think.

taglist: @atolua @skzfairies @itzy-eve @cixrosie @stopeatread @alixnsuperstxr @smh-anon

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group H Round 2: #H5 vs #H8

#H5: Middle school soft tennis club deals with trauma

#H8: Zombies make really good music

Details and poll under the cut!

#H5: Stars Align (Hoshiai no Sora)

Summary:

Constantly outperformed by the girls' club, the boys' soft tennis club faces disbandment due to their poor skills and lack of positive results in matches. In desperate need of members, Toma Shinjou is looking to recruit capable players, but he fails to scout anyone. Enter Maki Katsuragi, a new transfer student who demonstrates great reflexes when he catches a stray cat in his classroom, instantly capturing Toma's attention. With his interest piqued, Toma ambitiously asks Maki to join the boys' team but is quickly rejected, as Maki doesn't wish to join any clubs. Toma refuses to back down and ends up persuading Maki—only under the condition that Toma will pay him for his participation and cover other club expenses.

As Maki joins the team, his incredible form and quick learning allow him to immediately outshine the rest of the team. Although this gives rise to conflict among the boys, Maki challenges and pushes his fellow team members to not only keep up with his seemingly natural talent, but also drive them to devote themselves to the game they once neglected.

Propaganda 1:

Covers a wide variety of issues and gets into the nitty-gritty of the often under-prosecuted instances of child abuse in Japanese society. Multiple LGBT characters, subversions of gender roles, a simple but appealing art style, and some really talented seiyuu to top it all off.

Propaganda 2:

This series is so amazing even though it was cut halfway through (and the trigger warnings, mainly in regard to the environments many of the characters live in) make it difficult to suggest at times. It’s half a sports anime and half a drama, switching between the sports sections and explorations of the lives of the characters involved, the latter of which is the part I really adore. The story discusses the heavily discussed topic of abuse pretty well and also has a good handle on discussions about things like gender (specifically in regard to a canon non-binary character, though there is also a minor character who is a trans man who is also discussed) that I haven’t seen too many other series address, or at least not to the effectiveness of this story. The characters also just have so much charm and compliment each other well, and I love watching them get closer and interact. They’re buddies, and I adore the boys soft tennis team plus Yuu and Mitsue (+ Arashi I guess. He’s from a different school’s team and directly opposed the team, but he very quickly becomes their friend afterwards), as well as all of their dynamics. It’s not a watch for when you’re looking strictly to have a fun time or looking for a complete story, but it’s an amazing story regardless. Also, I love the opening and ending songs so much. I wish this series got its season two so much because it’s so good, I don’t think I did it justice at all.

Trigger Warnings:

Child abuse: Most of the cast is from an abusive household, including mcs.

Domestic abuse: Off-screen/implied, parent of a main character.

Gender/sexuality discrimination: From a parent to a non-binary character + from bullies to a gay character.

Emotional abuse: Some major characters have emotionally abuse parents, this is shown on-screen.

Minor injuries: Blisters, bruises, one scene with plenty of blood but clarified to just be a minor head wound afterwards. etc.

#H8: Zombieland Saga

Summary:

Sakura Minamoto dreams of becoming an idol. Unfortunately, reality hits her like a truck, and she dies in a sudden traffic accident. Ten years later, she wakes up in Saga Prefecture, only to find herself a zombie with no memory of her past. While still coming to terms with her demise, she meets a man named Koutarou Tatsumi, who explains that he has resurrected her and six other zombie girls from different eras for the purpose of economically revitalizing Saga by means of an idol group. Assuming the role of an abrasive manager, Koutarou begins scheduling events; the girls go along with it, eventually deciding to name their idol group Franchouchou. An absurdly comedic take on the idol genre, Zombieland Saga tells the story of Franchouchou's heartwarming struggle to save Saga Prefecture while hiding their zombie identities and rediscovering their past lives.

Propaganda:

ITS SO GOOD OHMYGOD. First of all, the music? Amazing. The 3D animation they use for the dancing isn’t the best, but the songs are all bangers. The story is also amazing—it’s just the right blend of silly and serious to really get you to love and care about the characters. And it WILL make you cry. It’s a really cool take on zombies and really uses the full potential of its premise really well. Its dub is also actually good. The acting is great, and the jokes are translated perfectly.

Trigger Warnings: Animal Cruelty or Death, Child Abuse, Gender Identity/Sexuality Discrimination, Graphic Depictions of Cruelty/Violence/Gore

When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.

Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how they’re presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form, where you can submit revisions for taglines, propaganda, trigger warnings, and/or video.

[cocamalfeta]

"But again after some time, i still can't change my way of understanding jk from being this loud man with jimin to an extremely private one with tae" hm can you elaborate it a little bit more please....i mean you did gave an example with the live but like did't get what it's supposed to mean....sorry...

I meant I'm still struggling to comprehend Taekook dynamics. Sure, according to Taekookers Tae and JK have a very private relationship; not considered as a ship. Their relationship is real, genuine and protected by the company. Taekookers oppose this to what they believe is Jikook: a ship, so it's fake; Jikook is very blatant about them, but it still can be shown on TV, because nobody would believe they're real due to this same loudness, so no need to edit them out ("extremely loud").

You'll heard Taekookers say all shippings are fake, as in they are part of the queer culture that the companies employ for fan consumption. In Idols' world, a genuine gay relationship would have been kept private and protected at all costs and thus edited out of any filming because it’d be detrimental to the company. So, lack of content is justified because of privacy issues ("extremely private")

My point mentioning that Vlive was to think about, or more like rambling about, an instance where the dynamics in both relationships are totally different from each other, like I said: there Jimin was passive / plaything / powerless and JK was more like his hyung, dragging him, imposing on him, and so on. Meanwhile Taehyung behave like his Hyung and like assuming command of the situation while JK quickly complied, stopping the live almost immediately.

Maybe this JK's submissive (¡!) side can be better seen in their “Dream” Movie Premiere, where Tae had again that authoritative air around him, pulling JK in, holding hands and JK was so shy and glowing with happyness. Well, even I could see why Taekookers were so happy watching them. JK’s softness side regarding Tae is often mentioned as well as Tae willing to fulfill his role as his hyung, manhandling him and such.

i know after watching Tae in other instances I know he's a very passionate man, he has a temper and likes to take the initiative.

But all of these are only my vague impressions. Overall I can see Taekooker's point (I mean it's common sense if their relationship is true to keep that private), but they don't take into account Jikook intimacy... they only acknowledge they're very close friends , but I think Jikook are more than friends atp and have shared intimate moments and several times they were caught red-handed too. But well, watching other Vlives with Taekook I believe Tae is still playing a role in there; he hasn't removed himself from the conversation lol.

[commajade]

amber do you have any tips on how to start dressing more gnc? not exaclty where to find clothes but like composition/how to feel confident in my looks bc im always afraid of looking like a 12yo boy 😭 i was going through your blog and saw that ask about boa/yuri/seulgi and i feel like a combination of their wardrobes would be my dream lol also random but yuri added a new layer to bi casual that's p.e. teacher, she now has this sling bag she takes everywhere and imo makes her overall look gayer

hello! i'm guessing ur a baby gay, congrats on trying to gender present differently it's a rly cool experience and it'll bring u a lot of joy! any amount of gnc presentation automatically makes u sexier too so congrats!

i think what you're going for is a mix of street wear and artsy casual and both of those can be as androgynous as u want it to be! for composition it rly depends on ur body type and idols r all skinny so if u r similar to them u can copy the way they layer and arrange clothes but i personally can't. could never wear pants as wide legged as seulgi and boa wear lol.

the key is loose fit clothing for a boxy/rectangular silhouette but don't get clothes that are too oversized. i have a chest and hips so i tend to do fitted pants that taper (not wide leg) but have some room at the waist to not emphasize my hips. i have p broad shoulders so i wear loose shirts that emphasize that and aren't too tight at the chest. outerwear is so important!!! a leather or denim jacket is such an important wardrobe staple for every gay person.

in general seulgi has cute artsy boyish looks that u can emulate with a wider legged jean with a quirky design, unusual and colorful sneakers, and fun hoodies and graphic tees. boa does like dancer look or dad look. lot of beanies, oversized t-shirts and sweatpants or flannels and glasses and t-shirts tucked into belted jeans. yuri's bi casual looks tend to be short button up shirts, sometimes over t-shirts (with the sleeves rolled up). also baseball caps and crew neck sweatshirts.

it's ultimately rly about how u wear it tho!! try wearing the classic white tshirt + jeans + jacket look and see if it feels more feminine or more masculine on u, and see what adjustments u can make to ur posture and hair and the way u carry urself to get the presentation u want. try putting ur hands in ur pockets in a masculine way, my gf calls it the transmasc stance lol and i keep noticing every time i do it now. try wearing outfits but sitting or standing in diff ways, slouching a little more (but take care of ur spine health) or sitting with ur legs wider and leaning back or leaning forward with ur elbows on ur knees. jewelry is also v gendered!! buy some thicker rings or more masculine chains/necklaces u can layer. a nice watch does a lot too. maybe 4 years ago i was rly self conscious about gender presentation and being read as masc but now my gf says it's easy to see that i'm butch because of the way i carry myself and i don't even think about it. i slowly developed the mannerisms and posture that make my clothes look and feel more butch. even when i first started wearing men's clothes for the purpose of being gay i realized that my own masc energy makes women's jewelry look more masculine when i'm wearing it and it was a rly affirming moment for me.

bonus: i consulted my gf and the simple way to not look like a 12 year old boy is to not dress like a 12 year old boy. don't be afraid to mix things that are a little bit more formal into your new wardrobe, it'll make you feel more confident in gender presentation. i just got a nice pair of dressy men's shoes (i got derby style docs) for the first time and i wear them with calf length dress socks and semi-formal pants to concerts and artsy events and it feels rly good! i need a good blazer now, i only have very casual outerwear.

[behanami]

hello❣️

hi everyone! i’m not actually new, but i’m happy to introduce this gal that is! this is carly, bejoomi and benayoung’s mun with the final addition to my wannabe trinity!! hana is, thankfully, quite different from both joomi and nayoung, so she should be fun. she’s about as shy as they get, but a very skilled ballerina and an absolute sweetheart. and a useless lesbian. she just floats around between being a dance major, additional dance lessons, and two jobs as a librarian and a florist! she doesn’t have any real authority at either of those jobs, though. she really just helps out. her cute lil profile is here, and her more detailed about is here, but i’ll ramble about her and put some plot ideas under the cut. of course, please like this if you’d like to plot with her, and i’ll slide into your dms (probably on joomi’s account so i can stay organized.) ok let’s go!

hana is an ‘03 liner and a pisces! dreamy dreamy gal

she was born in tokyo japan to a (retired) professional ballerina and translator (who translated for some pretty important people sometimes)

her mom retired as a ballerina due to heart complications. they were afraid giving birth would be too trying on her body, so they adopted their first kid (hana’s brother) and then hana was an accident

obviously her mom went through with giving birth to her but she unfortunately passed away because of  it

thankfully hana’s family didn’t resent her, and her dad instead saw her as the last remnants of his wife. which can sometimes be a problem tbh

she was put in ballet lessons asap to follow in her mother’s footsteps, and has been at ballet academies and dance lessons literally as long as she can remember

she was always way more interested in watching the girls dancing even when the other girls were freaking out about the potential to do dance duets with boys. gay ass

she didn’t Realize she was a lesbian until she got into online communities. she didn’t really have a ton of time and energy to socialize outside of ballet and school and was always very quiet so she had a much easier time making friends online

started in online ballet forums, got into kpop through girls there that liked it as well as some irl friends, eventually ended up on stan twitter and tumblr thanks to her really good english her dad taught her, considering he’s a translator

she also really got into poetry, and made a poetry blog, and she kinda figured out her sexuality by writing about it more than anything else. she also kinda kept her Poetry Presence separate from the rest of her online presence because u know, shy

she eventually fell Big in love with one of her kpoppie friends. this friend actually lived In korea and wanted to be a kpop idol so hana ended up daydreaming about moving to korea and debuting with her one day

she ended up so serious that she asked her dad if she could move to korea and enroll in sopa. she had a whole plan

they had a close family friend that lived in sk that agreed to house hana if she did move, and her dad never saw hana so passionate about anything in his life...so he let her go

he didn’t move with her due to work; he decided supporting his daughter’s dreams was more important than Being with his daughter, and sends her money regularly 

when she arrived, things did not go how she hoped. the girl she loved had a whole Life outside of her and they did not fall in love, in fact, they didn’t spend nearly as much time together as hana wanted at all. and hana is not assertive whatsoever, so she just kinda let it happen

she mainly just tries to keep busy now because she’s lowkey heartbroken but doesn’t want to dwell on being sad. she’s also trying to figure out if she actually wants to be a kpop idol By Herself now or not. she’s figuring out that the dream was way more to be with her friend than it was to debut

she’s not really unhappy though! just. figuring stuff out. 

PLOT IDEAS

hana has a youtube channel where she posts dance videos; mainly of choreo she learns from lessons, but some kpop dance covers too. this is an example of the stuff she does most often. it would be great to have people to collab with on her channel! contemporary dancers ideally. fans of the channel are great too. she would be so shy if anyone was her fan

onesided crushes? that kinda. seems like hana’s vibe. onesided crushes in either direction; boys having a crush on hana who is a lesbian, hana having crushes on girls that don’t return her feelings...

university friends? i don’t have where she goes to uni in mind rn to keep plotting open. she’s a dance major but will have other classes too obviously

dance friends! fellow dance majors, or dance students at the dance studio she takes additional lessons at

people that help her develop being an idol as her actual dream. people that are really passionate about kpop and becoming one themselves. she really admires people that have a lot of drive because she does not really

online friends! stan twt, tumblr, honestly we can probably make anything work, hana is all over the place

i think that’s all i’ve got i love brainstorming too so let’s do it!

[kanmom51]

Hey kanmom! Your anon talking about that person they were talking to online who thinks it's only okay to support ships that are straight reminds me so much of my cousin. And the thing is while that anon had an experience with a homophobe, there are people like my cousin who claim to not be homophobic and is fine shipping straight ships but completely shut down when it comes to gay ones.

One minutes we were giggling over liskook and other straight ships that might be a thing and I bring up jikook and her face falls. Asking me why I'm shipping real people and if I don't know that the boys will hate me and that every single Kpop guy hates getting shipped.

And in my opinion, that's still homophobia. Jikook and other pairings like them make people uncomfortable. They don't wanna talk about them. They see it and attempt to unsee it lol

Oh, it's homophobia for sure.

Your cousin is all "ew shipping idols" when it's two males while giggly happy when it's the same idol only with another female idol?

It's like god forbid the Idol they 'want' is queer and god forbid he be in a queer relationship with another idol they 'want' too, lol.

Shipping with a female keeps the dream alive. Shipping with a male kills the dream, lol.

So there you have it.

[sorikkung]

for the wip game, 'im god i do what i want' sounds so intriguing i need to know more 🤣

oh my god LOL you picked the what goes on in neverland masterdoc which i included as a wip even tho the first few chaps r posted and i haven't started chapter 4 yet cause it's still technically a wip. it's just the most chaotic bulletpoints you've ever seen bc i just write ideas how they come to me, which includes meme format. here are some highlights

i opened an empty doc at 2am one day deciding i wanted to try writing again so i could write something so incredibly self indulgent and be the change i wanted to see in the world. this is what i first wrote

he/they fuckboy!reader whos not in a frat he’s in an alt punk band and yes he has trauma but thats not the reason hes a fuckboy he just likes to fuck and being sexy

pierced, tatted, (he fucked around and bought a tattoo gun, he and kevin like tatting ppl) six pack abs, this mf gonna be more of a wet dream than the actual idols in question

sorry chanlix

his friends consist of like his 5 or so bandmates and thats it. they the type of homies who make out w each other just cause

and then here you have me realising in real time that i can write literally whatever the fuck i want with no justification needed

i wont make it an enemies to lovers au just quite, but they just like being Competitive

wait. why Cant i make it an enemies to lovers au

i know i have too many but im god i do what i want

ok so theyre competing in some battle of the bands type shit

chris and his boys r usually a good sport but they just have a problem w the mc’s punk band bc they dont even want the prize of being signed to a record label? they wanna stay underground but theyre hellbent on winning anyway just for the glory? like ayo fuck off we need this?

but they see mc perform and OOOO THEY WANNA FUCK HIM SO BADDDD

because what is enemies to lovers for if not the SEXUAL TENSIONNNN

plus mc despite not particularly liking skz is like okkkk but they’re hot so? i wanna fuck em anyway? he just lives for the face they make when theyre mad like the hot tongue in cheek thing? mc just sees that and goes ok imma be a shit for the rest of my goddamn life just so i can keep seeing that sexy ass face of urs amen

meanwhile skz r like god what a cocky asshole but also that was hot. we all unanimously agree that was hot? cool not just me. what the fuck do we do about that.

mc and chris have an unspoken competition on who can wear less and less clothes onstage without being disqualified from the rounds

then i have these very brief character blurbs and here's a highlight from felix's

still has lingering feelings for eric which is probably why he doesnt acknowledge his PHAT crush on chris. open your fucking eyes gay boy

and honestly minbin's entire blurbs are highlights within themselves

changbin: dating minho bc minbin is such an underrated pair. works at his local gym bc he was there so often they just offered him the job. actually liked trr’s music before the competition but doesnt admit it until the collab round bc oh no we’re meant to be Enemies yeah i hate those copiers boo >:(( *whispers* (minho theyre so sexy i dont know what to do w myself)

minho: u cant fuck them

changbin: oh ofc i wasnt gon-

minho: without me

changbin: 😳😳😳

minho: does not give a Singular Fuck about the competition, hes just here for a good time and enjoys fighting w trr almost as much as mc does. hes a scorpio ok he just likes being petty and having an excuse to ruin someones life for funsies bc come on. its So fun. like he does want to get signed under a record label but its not life or death bc hes happy w where they are since theyre already popular enough n he gets enough money from his cat video youtube. im transing ur gender gayboy

and ill wrap out with some assorted lines completely out of context:

[hyunjin] has an onlyfans bc he knows hes the prettyboy twink of everyones mfuckin DREAMS and decided he deserves to be paid for it.

mc, instantly: hey wooyoung, eric, can we plagiarize this

(later in the chapter outline it was repeated as "mc: i vote plagiarism")

basically mc goes “arent you tired of being nice? dont you just want to go a p e s h i t” n skz took that PERSONALLY

“sup bitches bros and nonbinary hoes,"

(we cant dance? that’s not what your ROCK HARD COCK said at the prism during your lap dance!)

and lastly these two that copy paste weirdly so have screenshots instead (first screenshot has spoilers for chapter 3 in case you plan on reading it and haven't yet)

anyway i got way too carried away here but i think im hilarious and you enabled me so now you suffer the consequences enjoy <3

[covenlegacy]

no but everyday is here "is that person mrs jeon, what is she like, how will her relationship with Jungkook be?" People who keep asking the same questions 93949203993 times seem like they're already obsessed. You can't deny that. How do you know if the people who tell you or others that they are dreaming of Jungkook are the ones asking these questions? This is a process, as long as it is taken under control as soon as it gives a definite result. Knowing a little psychology would help, because I'm studying psychology so I can warn people not to go too far. To solve your problems, you need to love and respect yourself, not loving and respecting yourself because of the presence of another person, because when this short-term solution is taken away from you, you see that your problem gets deeper and you see that these seemingly harmless dreams have turned into an obsession. How much longer do you expect people to run away from reality? I'm telling you that there is a difference between dreaming because you love a person in a healthy way and dreaming to escape from their life, those who dream because they already love do not always resort to the tarot or others to learn about something to reach or get information, or they don't need support from others while dreaming. they don't need to hear. This situation has nothing to do with age, it is because this persons takes his own choice too seriously, to the point where they gets caught in a fantasy world and says to each other, "He can't marry someone older than himself/ How do you know, there are 5 years between my parents", because most of them feed their own fantasy while saying this. If you have a male follower and he's in love with Jungkook, be prepared to take the question "how do you know maybe gay?". It's not because they're healthy wondering about it, most of the people who have this fight are here because they need to justify themselves.There is a big difference between dreaming in a healthy way and "over-imagining" someone else's temporary presence in order to escape certain things in this way, because in this case the exposure time can be more dangerous than the dream.

Knowing a little psychology, you should have understood that it is impossible to throw such words right and left, especially if you assume that there is a person with psychological problems somewhere. No? Do you think psychology is just to say "you have a problem and you're doing everything wrong" and get your money for it? Now everything is clear how you are taught … About this topic, those who write it, about dreams and so on, this is a separate case. In fact, each person is a separate case. And you don't know what kind of dreams they write about, so please don't generalize.

You've piled completely different cases into one pile. First you say that they need to love themselves and give up everything. If you know psychology, you should also know that you cannot abruptly remove a person's "airbag". This is their comfort zone and escape from the stress of reality. This does not mean that they are completely uninterested in their lives or their problems. I suggest you study psychology more to claim that it is dangerous. How long can they escape? Let it be for the rest of their lives, if it doesn't harm them or other people, as long as they don't choose drugs. They can do it forever if it saves someone's life. God, about the information that "real people" do not draw from the tarot. It's just ridiculous, well… I probably won't even comment. I guess jungkook bi, what do you say to that?

Most people are here only because they like to dig into dirty laundry like me, and who is really interested in knowing what kind of person this or that idol is

[unidentified-moe-object]

I spent the last few hours watching the first episodes of a few currently airing shows in a discord VC. Here are a few thoughts:

Train to the End of the World: my honest reaction. This one is directed by Tsutomu Mizushima, better known for Girls und Panzer, Shirobako, and, uh, Mayoiga. This one is definitely closer to the Mayoiga end of the scale, though I had a lot more fun with this first episode than I ever did with that show. It's very funny that the director seemingly looked at COVID-era conspiracies surrounding 5G, decided that he could make a good anime out of this, and a production committee let it happen. I mean, come on, there's even a throwaway line about eating bugs! I'm probably gonna continue this one, it seems like it'll be fun.

Kaiju No. 8: I spent most of this first episode wondering if this show was going to be good. I got almost to the end of the first episode, and the show seemed like it was going to be a show about a guy in a dead-end job trying to achieve the dream he had almost given up on while rebuilding old friendships and starting new ones. Then the protagonist abruptly got superpowers and I lost interest. Also I was convinced that the protagonist's kohai was gay for the protag, but neither of the other two in the VC with me agreed. Maybe I just have the yaoi goggles screwed on too tight.

Wind Breakers: Well, this is a show that knows what it wants to be, and is very good at being that. It has some really cool fight animation, and if you're looking for that I can't reccomend this enough, It isn't really my thing at all, though.

Tadaima, Okaeri: I am pleased to announce that the Omegaverse anime is real. I can only imagine how the 2013-era Supernatural yaoi fangirls are reacting to this one. It's honestly pretty cute, but not really the sort of thing that appeals to me too much, so I doubt I'll watch any more. I absolutely love that this exists, though. May this lead to a thousand more.

Jellyfish Can't Swim in the Night: The best thing I saw all night, I am absolutely going to keep up with this one. If you're a Bocchi the Rock fan going insane waiting for S2, check this one out, you won't regret it.

Girls Band Cry: I saw this immediately after Jellyfish, and it unfortunately kinda got overshadowed by that show. It's a show with a very similar premise (of a girl meeting an ex-idol and the two starting a musical project together), and it's almost as good, but not quite. It's also CG animated, and it's very good CG, but I kinda just don't think anime styles work thaaat well in 3D. All that being said, I might still continue it, if I really feel like watching two "girls in a band" anime this season.

[artisticmenace]

talking abt my characterrss!! read if you want im just letting it out. might be interesting yknow. if anyone really cares too much. spoilers for the comic im going to make if anyone was really wsnting to read that. probably not but just in case yk

Starting off with my two boys from Those Days(and other characters)

Scott: so he was supposed to look like this one guy i kept seeing on pinterest and also jareth the goblin king a little bit but because of the time its set in(and also the fact that his dad is initially thought to be a homophobe) he cant be as flashy. he ended up looking more like inigo montoya.... but i kept his purple crystal earing as a token of his gay witchy king design history. he himself is meant to act a little homophobic despite coming out as a bisexual late into the plot so his design fits. he does wear makeup though. smudgy eye makup done in dark eyeshadow in fact. after the gay subplot and main plot come to a collision he'll get witchier. post high-school i think he and rodney will end up getting fashionable. hes also meant to be a touch self centered. he idolizes his dad to the point he feels he cant be "soft" at all. his dad doesnt care though. he keeps this tough guy routine to the point of not being emotionally mature enough to comfort people that well. scotts fighting habits will kick him in the ass. design wise i need to change his style of clothing a little bit because i think i want this to take place in the 80s.

Rodney: rodney is based on this one guy i had a dream about, and probably all the fanart I've seen of martin from tma. he was originally going to have the same haircut as scott and be thinner, but neither of those design choices were fun, and i wanted to make a short chubby nervous guy instead. his internalized homophobic crime is "my mom is a dyke but because people think that will make me gay i cant possibly be gay because i want to be not like my mom because her gfs are all terrible and" well he might trauma dump a little after that. rodney never met his dad but because of that he had to endure lots of terrible 'stepmoms'(his mom never married them) and they would steal from her and he would get blamed and boom bam child abuse. a lot of people say he turned out better than expected, and he really hates thinking of what he could've done. despite being a great baseball player, he is relentlessly bullied for having a lesbian mom. no one knows exactly who found this out or how. he is equally as much muscle as he is fat, and he's quite strong. unfortunately, he'd rather take the hit than fight back for fear of punishment, not so much from the school but from his mom. scott eventually finds out about Rodney's constant mistreatment, and that's when he decides to let rodney stay with him a while(around their second year of knowing each other). Mr. Haverford just accepts that rodney lives there now as hes super respectful and doesnt say much.

Lucy Campbell: her design should really tell the reader where they are because shes 80s as hell. shes scotts ex. shes kind of a dumb person in general but she knows how to influence people. i dont know how or if ill ever introduce her but she does tattoos and piercings at her house which is by a convenience store named "Myrtle's". Scott goes there sometimes. he doesnt like her anymore and she doesnt like men anymore so they just sit around and smoke. sometimes they drink and talk about life.

Susie Marshall: shes a nice person. she tutors lots of kids including Scott. scott and rodney stop going to her house after scotts dad says susies dad is a really good aim and might shoot them even if they're just there to talk about school. shes pressured into a very isolated and tidy lifestyle by her parents and doesnt really enjoy living.