#i keep making edits im sorry

[himi-wiz]

Hehe

Chuuya for bingo! <3

(And Dazai, if you want to.)

YOU. YOU HAD TO HUH.

Definitely don't know you anon. And therefore I can lie about it but here we go:

Dazai —

Interesting lad in the most atrocious manner possible. Admittedly I still needed to read the novels but I think Dazai is an odd character which I've never quite gotten completely even from the start of my initial bsd phase at 2014-2015. Now I'm as old as him (which is bizarre to think about) and I get what's going on, I still don't think I'll ever quite grasp what's in his head. He has this apathy and intelligence I will never take hold of as someone who understands that I am extremely an ordinary individual and chooses to remain so — being oblivious and normal — for fear that I would turn out to be as isolated as he is.

I think it's terrifying.

To be too smart and think too much of yourself, to realise you're never going to be normal for you will always reason a way out of your greatest passions and your worst nightmares. And therefore you never truly fear anything nor could you truly love something wholeheartedly either. How could you when you can't trust in anything?

I am fond of the irl author, Mr. Dazai Osamu's dedication to his work of No Longer Human which I did read through ages ago and encounter some memorable quotes. But it's only rather recently I was able to fully comprehend the sheer terror it brings as the protagonist Yozo elaborates on the despair of understanding one's role in life is inevitably meaningless, akin to an insect realising its doom to fall prey to fate in a web full of lies.

Whenever I was asked what I wanted my first impulse was to answer "Nothing." The thought went through my mind that it didn't make any difference, that nothing was going to make me happy.

— No Longer Human, Dazai Ozamu

And I only have pity for such a being that is unable to unlearn that despair or at the very least, be able to stop, condense and move forward with these thoughts and live with them.

Our BSD Dazai however is given a chance to do so unlike Yozo thanks to Odasaku and it brings a fond affection to see him trying his best. I hope he does find his way and learns to enjoy the difficult journey stumbling around in life. But at the same time, it'll be foolish of me to presume just because he's moving towards the light, Dazai's darkness and general sense of dissatisfaction with people and life would change.

Dazai is not kind, he is not gentle, he's inconsiderate, deplorable, utterly wretched nuisance of a man who can and will use you if he decides it's worthwhile for him to do so, otherwise he has little interest in you even if he can sees through all your struggles and how he could help you, he wouldn't, certainly not intuitively desire so.

And I much prefer that viewpoint for it's more remarkable that Dazai is choosing when he does good. And how he's actively trying to be the side that reaches out to someone else and be there for them. To let himself be tied to people he feels isolated from and be vulnerable enough to take bets and place his trust on the Armed Detective Agency (and Chuuya and Akutagawa) so he could save lives he honestly doesn't care much for. How fascinating.

And so when fans do brush that darkness aside, I can be mildly peeved. But hey, it's still valid and okay to have some fun with just comfort and softness of just wishing happiness for a character you like. It can hard to decipher these layers if you don't know where to look too. Or perhaps am I reading too deep into this? Who knows. Asagiri sure has a way of writing nuances like these and it's so delightful to unpack them.

I still don't understand Dazai on a fundamental level.

That is more of my fault as I am someone who both emotionally and socially impaired so much that I use myself as a medium to "empathise" with people. I merely mimick emotions — like I don't feel sad if someone lost a loved one, I 'force' myself to feel bad if I am that person, I play out the scenario of losing something precious to me and I take that sadness to apply it to the person.

That's how I can predict people well enough, aside from those who are far too passionate in an ideal or passion I can't understand like Kunikida, those who learn to hate everything, and those who comprehend the reasons why they hate and shift to a complete apathy, able to pinpoint all the ways they're wrong — ways they don't fit, they aren't human enough, but are ultimately far too timid and cowardly to work on why they are outsiders and maintain a distance for it's far safer this way.

Dazai is still that person who's terrified of attachment and rejection, still struggling to believe in people more than he trusts his mind and vision of the world around him. And he appears to be doing his best, so perhaps I would fall in love with his character a little more when I finish rereading No Longer Human, the dark era stuff and other bsd side stories.

For now let's see how he'll end up.

Chuuya—

I refuse to elaborate on him.

Suffer anon.

[gncrezan]

thoroughly enjoying @infamous-if so here's sketchdump of my post-read doodles before i run through it once again!!!!!!!!!

[sherbetyy]

the teddy bear of a man. chomp chomp chomp

[crunchchute]

tumblr is being nice so here you can have a look at my cosplay wips :]

[starwarsanthropology]

Shhh…

I like Mereel a lot. He’s cheerful and personable and fun and very, very clever and very, very good at what he does. He’s my favorite null because he’s all those things and also has the capacity to be the scariest, eeriest bastard out of all of them.

[baby-girl-aaron-dessner]

slut! // is it over now?

[hiemaldesirae]

The Hazbin Graduate’s Guide to Homicide (3)

HAZBIN'S MIDSEMESTER STUDENT REPORT Student: Vox Vanhal Supervising Staff: Professor Enoch Leviathan Sponsor: Not Applicable To the Board: Vox Vanhal may be one of the most brilliant students this school has seen in decades. In all my years of teaching at Hazbin, I have never met a student more insanely ready to learn and apply their skills- due in part, of course, to said student's own possible insanity. I mean this in a jovial way, of course, but I will admit that when young Vanhal's true identity was revealed to me that my first thought was along the lines of 'is this student insane?' Whether or not my student's reason should be called into question is something myself and my fellow professor Asmodeus have discussed in length, but there is one thing that we can definitively agree on: If there is any one student in this school who I would choose to place my bets on, it would be Vox Vanhal. There is nothing more to say at this time of report evaluation. Sincerely, Professor Leviathan.

May God's blessings be with you now and at the hour of our deaths, Amen.

[ 1 ] / [ 2 ] (<- read these first for context and more murder academy radiostatic content!)

Though Alastor may have thought that Vox was much more knowledgable in how Hazbin's Institution for Homicide worked, the truth was, Vox was still fully flying on the seat of his own coattails.

He had no damn clue what he was doing still, and although it'd been two weeks since he'd arrived, part of him still felt like how he did when he'd first arrived: hesitant, scared, not knowing where to go or what to do besides the want to make his boss suffer as he killed him.

That level of animosity might sound strange to anyone not a Hazbin student or alumnus, but it was perfectly normal for any student enrolled in the academy to have such feelings. After all, there was quite a rigorous process involved in the application, and for Vox, this application process (and what led to it) was perhaps more intense than most.

There had once been a time where Vox had dreamed of becoming a Hollywood starlet, one who lit up the silver screen and was blessed by hundreds of thousands of cheering, dedicated fans who would fawn over his every move and action. He'd wanted to follow in his mother's footsteps, at one point. But after taking on his first roles in Carmine Studios, the glamour of Hollywood had shattered like fine glass.

"Miss Vesper! Would you please look over here for a second?"

"Miss Vesper, when is your next movie coming out?!"

"Miss Vesper, is it true that you and your co-star on Anna Karenina, Valentino Vega had an affair-?"

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! That- fucking bastard!" Vox rushed into the privacy of his and Val's shared apartment, slamming the door behind him as he collapsed into the couch, head cradled in his hands. He couldn't even begin to start detailing the number of ways he'd wanted to fucking butcher and rip apart his boss.

Andrealphus Goetia was no stranger to the spotlight, naturally. One of Hollywood's top directors, the man had been an influential cornerstone in the history of movie-making, a real legend to light the days. But behind that picturesque platinum reputation laid a monstrous piece of shit.

It had been a complete accident that Andrealphus had found out about Vox's identity.

Vox himself hadn't even really planned out what to do about himself at that point, only that he'd known that the dresses he wore on screen were far more suited to his best friend than they were for him. Knew that the copious amounts of makeup flattened on him everyday made him feel more like a clown than a princess, that it was the most uncomfortable feeling to have to sit and play the pretty face for the audience's sake.

But he persisted, telling himself, one more year, one more year til my savings account has enough to supply Val and I with a comfortable life and we can leave.

But of course- of course Andrealphus had to ruin it for him.

The man had found out and immediately proceeded to blackmailing Vox with the information, holding things such as promotions, media gossip and rumors over his head. And now... now... Vox stared down at the script he held clutched in his hand, his knuckles turning white as he grasped it with an iron grip.

"Dieser verdammte bastard," Vox muttered under his breath.

Though he'd never loved the spotlight that came with his first taste of fame, he had loved acting. Had loved being adored for his skill, applauded for the emotions that he could evoke in crowds of people and the way he could twist people's hearts. He had wanted to be one of the best, a household name.

And now, he stared down at the script for a movie that Andrealphus knew would tank his reputation. It was absolute bullshit. The plot was held together by thin strings and a bit of glue, despite being an adaptation of one of the past decade's best selling books. Not only that, but the moment he left the safety of the apartment once more, he would also have to contend with the rumors that were steadily piling against him and dragging his loved ones and friends into it too.

All this, because Vox had refused to sleep with his shitty boss.

He could still hear the fucker's voice- come on, don't you wanna say that you got a piece of me? I'll even leave out the part about you being a transvestite, darling, just the fact that I got a piece of you is enough.

God. If only.... if only he could see that bastard's face when he crushed his fucking skull in between his hands. He wanted to see Andrealphus' stupid face contort in revulsion and terror when Vox finally did the deed, wanted to bathe in the the fotze's inbred blood. He'd do anything for the chance to just kill that piece of shit-

"Amorcito?"

Val's voice makes Vox jump on the spot, quickly shifting to hide the script from view. His friend comes around the corner, eyebrows furrowed with concern, and it's this that makes Vox break his composure, a single tear falling down his face as Val frowns, taking a seat next to him on the couch. "Voxxy, amor... tell me what's wrong."

And because he can never keep his mouth shut when it comes to his best friend, Vox tells him everything. Val nods along, pauses at the right moments, all of that stuff that friends do when they're trying to let you know that they'd rip apart your shitty boss if not for the law.

But- and perhaps this is something that Vox knew deep down to be true anyway- Val was a bit different in that aspect. He'd met the man under... less than legal circumstances, after all, and he knew that Val was the heir to quite the illustrous cartel career.

So when Valentino stops him with a firm hand on the shoulder and hands him an application paper for Hazbin, telling him to think it through, Vox barely takes even a second glance at it before filling it out.

Now, two months later and sitting in the auditorium of Hazbin's famed Music Hall, Vox doesn't find himself regretting the decision. Sure, it's a bit lonely without Val's supporting presence by his side, but the students he's met so far have proved to be some of the friendliest people he's had the pleasure of knowing: ironic, considering the kind of school they're studying at. And he's even managed to make a friend! Not that bad a start, altogether.

Vox absentmindedly doodles on the edge of his notes as Professor Leviathan's soothing voice lectures them on the importance of a proper alibi. "If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, but it has an airtight alibi, it is...?"

"Not a duck," the auditorium echoes back to the professor, who nods, looking satisfied with the class's response. "So, then! The first step to alibi making is...? Miss Velvette, perhaps you'd like to answer this one for us?"

The girl sitting beside Vox shoots up in her seat, looking as if she'd just fallen asleep and was awoken by the professor's question. "Uh... the..."

After a moment of silence and stuttering, Vox takes pity on the girl, sliding Velvette over a slide of paper that she squints at before reading. "Make sure you're in a different place from the crime?"

"And how would I do that?"

"I... uh. Use an accomplice...?" Velvette stutters.

Professor Leviathan shakes his head, looking disappointed. "Not quite. One thing you will have to learn at Hazbin's is that you should never rely on any other person to carry your deed out for you. No hiring accomplices- after all, paid personnel's loyalty is shaky and they have no honor code preventing them from taking you to the police- and absolutely no committing crimes as lovers, unless you can guarantee that neither of you will be snitching. Would anyone else like to take a try?"

Vox raises his hand hesitantly. "Move the crime scene or otherwise obscure the culprit?"

Professor Leviathan snaps his fingers, "Yes! Absolutely. One of the best ways to make yourself an iron clad alibi is, if the pope is shot in the church at midnight, make sure that you are seen halfway across town in the bar at midnight; so drunk that you cannot even leave until your wife comes to pick you up at two- and no one will suspect you, even if he was actually killed right outside the pub and moved to the church instead. By moving the crime scene, you can make yourself an ironclad alibi. Obscuring the identity of the perpetrator and making it someone who couldn't possibly be you also works splendidly. After all, if the police believe the murderer to be a six foot tall adult man, then the actual perpetrator, a four foot tall young woman, would be able to pass by completely unnoticed. Thank you for that input, Vox. Now, onto the actual creation of such an alibi..."

When class ends, Vox is the first to leave his seat and head for the door, intending on leaving and getting to Track with Professor Satan as quick as possible when someone stops him in his tracks with a firm grip on his shoulder.

"Hey. Vox Vanhal, right?"

"That would be me, yes," Vox turns to face the person he's talking to, only to be met with the young woman that Professor Leviathan had called out in class earlier. "You were... Velvette?"

"Yep, that's me," the chipper young woman responds. "Listen, I know you don't know me at all, but I really need to get through this school year. Like- look, okay, I'm in a little bit over my head right now. I still want to go here and do what everyone here does, of course, I'd love to just go and plunge a damn butcher's knife into my cunt of an ex-friend's neck, but... well, you saw how I did back in class- look, what I'm trying to get at is I need someone to help me. And you're like, Leviathan's star student. So- I don't care what I have to do, I'll-"

Vox holds up a hand to stop her.

"I don't need you to do anything for me, unless you've got any tips on how to kill my boss and make him suffer during it. But I'll help you with whatever you need to study during your courses. Just..." He pauses, taking a moment to think out what he's about to ask. "Could you teach me how you did your makeup on your own?"

Velvette blinks, clearly not expecting that response. She laughs, a shrill, sharp bark and grabs his hand to shake it firmly. "Yeah, 'course I can. So, do we have a deal?"

"We do," Vox smiles. "Pleased to make your acquaintance."

[vongulli]

Sorry if this was asked before but is it fine if you could share what brushes you use on procreate!?

OH HIYA I use procreate but not as often as I use clip studio paint!! I use a ton of brushes so I kinda forget UHH but here’s ones I’ve been using lately! (If there’s a specific drawing you’re wondering about I could try to remember which ones I used! I get bored easy with the same pens so I’m ALLLWAYS trying out free stuff on the clip studio assets page!)

OH but there’s this one Twitter I follow that posts a lot of brushes from the assets page too, I’ve found a lot of stuff through there also! Hopefully that helps!!

[toffeebrew]

THOIGHTS ON HYPERSOMNIA (error x ink x dream)..?

Going to be honest I didn't consider this ship till I saw your account talking about it

Quick Edit: Somehow I accidentally convinced myself I like this ship by doing this?? LMAO

im going just off whatever my brain says so... hopefully it makes sense? I'm going to stretch things to make this work okay bare with me. That and I haven't had years to build headcanons so some of these are off the cuff. Nothing is canon obviously

I tried to wrap my head around how I would do it in my interpretation, and I decided perhaps if error calmed the hell down and realized maybe destroying universes shouldn't be ur life's goal. Due to morality difference I had trouble picturing dream being personal with error otherwise. I think perhaps some of these things dream/ink picked up on whether it being kidnapped by error or just via battle or something idk lol.

Due to Dream's empathy and knowledge of people he understands Error's motivations stem from a source of anger and not ration. Dream calls him out on it and Error feels a little violated by how accurate he gets it. Perhaps if Error did give up on destruction someday dream would be there to help him with his new identity???

More yapping under the cut

Ink, Error and Dream all relate to being outcasts and their own isolation due to the their roles (whether they bestowed it upon themselves or not). They're all lonely af (LMAOO).

I personally hc both ink and dream can lift way more than their weight. Ink not to dream's extent but he definitely is stronger than he appears. Error is perplexed with this information.

I never understood the " restores the balance thing" so personally I believe this was misconception dream had before he got to know error! Perhaps this manifested as rumors in the multiverse and error was rumored to be actually helpful instead of harmful. Also dream believed people had better intentions then they truly do at one point but as dream matures he realizes this isn't the case. Something like that. Not because I think dream is dumb, rather just want to see the best in people LOL even if he thinks what they're doing is wrong.

Error has a general distrust of dream at first, perhaps because his words remind him of another kind soul (it's blueberry... LMAO). But a part of him, even just a bit , just wants to have a "friend" (him and blue weren't exactly friends but yknow what I mean) like him again.

Dream weirdly finds some comfort in the anti-void as there is less emotional noise. I could picture dream commenting on it maybe, not directly referencing his own emotions but instead that the anti-void is calm (uh does dreams empathy have a bandwidth? I'm making that assumption.)

Dream got extremely excited when he realized error could also understand spanish.

He got quite invested in UnderNovela, dunno why but I imagine dream to be a fan of fictional romantic stories and dramas. He, Ink and error enjoy talking about it together. They've extrapolated a bunch of theories and such together for what will happen next.

I don't see dream as a crybaby but more suspectible to crying than the other two. Error doesn't... react the best to people crying nor do I believe ink to be the best at comforting others (projecting there whoops). I feel like Error is the type of guy to shove things in your face in hopes of making it stop LMAO. Like how you shake a toy in front a baby in hopes of getting them to stop crying. I just imagine error shoving sweets or some other gift in Dreams hands if he were to start crying. Dream would find his reaction kinds funny and maybe would brighten his mood a little bit. Ink is also trying his best and I suppose would try to be encouraging to dream. He would definitely give dream a well deserved hug. In general it's just an awkward mess, but they try their best. Dream would apologize after because of course he would.

Error in general gives "gifts" to dream, because he noticed Ink gives gifts to Dream when they get closer to being friends. Gifts in quotations because they're stolen. Idk, Error is weird.

While Dream obviously cam teleport au to au he doesn't understand as much the technical aspects of the multiverse. Error seems quite open to any questions he has about it I think. He hears error and ink discuss it at times but honestly it sounds quite confusing to him. Idk he's a curious little guy I think he would find himself love hearing Ink and Error yap about stuff like that *shrug*

I have this hc dream loves mlp so yeah they would watch that together.

[capriclonus]

hi, i love your fics and have flown through them! any recs for others?

Hi, first off, thank you so much that is so sweet!! I am honoured you have read all of my work and enjoyed them.

As for recs, I don't have nearly as many as I should because I don't read nearly enough fanfiction. But I'll give a few of my favs. I'm adding a cut-off cause there's actually more for me to recommend than I thought. My absolute, absolute favourites are marked in purple.

Shadowzel:

True Silver - mylordshesacactus. M, with a lil smut. One-shot. A famed piece of work in the Shadowzel community and for good reason. It is so beautiful; I think this the best characterisation of Lae'zel I've ever seen. Its a comforting post-game piece, about Shadowheart riding to the Astral Plane with Lae'zel and figuring out parenting together.

though i burn, how could i fall? - Jazzfordshire. E, some smut. One-shot. Shadowheart and Lae'zel fall in love during the game, rewritten with a lot of beauty and passion and direct quotes from the game. Very tender. The first Shadowzel fic I ever read. It was amazing.

Born Again - realdustybones. So far, M. Ongoing. I was hooked on the first paragraph. Post-game, Selunite Shadowheart ventures to the Astral Plane to seek help from Lae'zel, leading the rebellion with Orpheus and Voss, as she has become pregnant with Shar's heir. Amazing description, amazing characterisation, and very intriguing plot.

to feel love (like a sinner) - mermaiddrunk. E, just very smutty. One-shot. Okay, so this is a sex pollen fic. But its got a lil twist. And the atmosphere and longing in this fic are amazing; the relationship between the two is also very well done. There's a bit where Shadowheart jokes about an owlbear that I love. And also its just v hot smut soooooo

An'geth - tieflingliker. E, lots of smut and kink. Complete. Based during the game, Shadowheart and Lae'zel have the famed Knife Scene and realise they have one thing in common: they both have a chastity belt for devotion to their respective Gods.

Losing My Religion - Rina114. E, lots of smut and mild kink. Ongoing, last updated in Jan. Two lonely gals, abandoned by their goddesses, seek that reverence in each other. Lovely. Shadowheart teaches Lae'zel to 'let go,' shall we say.

The Favourite Princess of Murder and Loss - Heckpup. E, violent and dead dove. One-shot. Shadowheart is the chosen of Bhaal and Shar alike. She puts Lae'zel through the torture. Not for the faint-hearted and very fucking tragic. But I do love my angst; fics being able to make me feel so much pain is very talented and reminds me I am an itty bitty baby human.

I Wanna Be Your Dog - meowff. E, lots of smut and horniness and longing. Ongoing. Last updated Nov. Maintenance worker / cam girl porn set up. Shouldn't work nearly as well as it does, but it is a masterpiece. Amazing description. Amazing modern characterisations. Has one of my favourite descriptions of Shadowheart, comparing her to old oil portraits. Beautiful. And, yes, very hot.

Bleeding Hearts - calorem. E, some smut. Ongoing. Last updated March. I've only read the first 3 chapters of this but its amazing so far. Fake dating Au with a dashing of murder and intrigue. We are all hungry for fake dating aus, lets face it.

Gone. - teiflingliker. M, pure fucking tragedy. One-shot. Selunite Shadowheart waits for Lae'zel, still loyal to Vlakiith, to come home. I just read this and oh boy do I need a cuddle. So sad. So beautiful. So hard to get through. Just so tragic.

Now, there are loads more amazing Shadowzel fics out there that I simply haven't had the chance to read. Cellphish, ToriWritesStories, larissel---everyone on the Shadowzel server does amazing work. They are all very passionate writers. Read any of them!

Other Pairings:

Dame Aylin's Home for Wayward Girls - SheOfBadIdeas. Shadowheart/Aylin/Isobel. E, very tender smut and lots of fluff. Very minor angst. Complete. What can I say about this fic? Converted me to the OT3 instantly. It is so tender and loving, and respectful and funny and healing. The characterisation, descriptions....it's all amazing.

Be My Comfort - MiPur. Shadowheart/Tav. E, tender and longing galore. Ongoing. Shadowheart works as an escort at Sharess' Caress, based in modern day. She meets Naivara, who hires her, and there's an immediate and intense connection between them and Shadowheart does not know why. Just very intriguing fic that has me trying to figure out what's going on. And for real, it is very tender. And we have Nym, who is a rare character in BG3 fics!

broken glass to diamonds - within_a_dream. Shadowheart/Aylin/Isobel. E, kink and mild smut but no sex scene. One-shot. Look, I read the 'human furniture' tag and I clicked on it without hesitation, ok? Its a nice lil one shot.

Break You In My Image - QueenMills. Shadowheart/Viconia DeVir (but also not really). E, dead dove. Complete. I've posted about this in an ask I received. The writer is just so smart and poetic. Its about Shadowheart's time at the cloister as an adult, immediately before she leaves on her mission to get the githyanki artefact. Its not for the faint of heart, though, because it is messed up (in the best way possible, you could analyse this fic for a literary essay I s2g).

Haunt Me. Love Me. Take Me Home. - QueenMills. Shadowheart/Shar. Shadowheart/Viconia DeVir. E, dead dove and strong themes of alcoholism, drug use, suicide. Ongoing, last updated Feb. Again just fuuuuuuuck, man. Shadowheart, messed up after her divorce from Lae'zel (and fucked up from an abusive relationship with her mother Viconia) goes to therapy. She falls in love with her therapist. Her therapist? Shar. Modern au. This author is a genius. I seriously feel like I'm reading a poem when I'm reading it; their writing style really gets you into the mindset of POV, and it's beautiful and fucked up.

Oh also, I like a few works by anotheropti - just read anything by them and you'll enjoy it. They got a lot of kink and I very much appreciate that. Most work centres Shadowheart/Tav.

And, obviously, I'm just going to say you should read any and every F/F Dark Justiciar fanfic that exists. The complexity and depths of her character are tragic and beautiful and amazing. And sadly I HAVEN'T READ ENOUGH OF THEM BECAUSE I'VE BEEN TOO BUSY WRITING MY OWN. (also pls pls pls people write more f/f dj shart fics I'm on my knees begging, I need more of this like the blood in my veins)

[stormbreaker101]

I still can't get over the Circe Saga.

Hermes gives Odysseus a tool to even the playing field. He anticipates and encourages Odysseus to overpower her on a physical, magical, and sexual level. He phrases this help as "us[ing] more than words." He wants Odysseus to give up speech and mercy as much as the other gods do.

But ultimately it's Odysseus's words that save him and his crew. It's him telling Circe about his faith to Penelope that convinces her to help him.

There are other ways of persuasion, indeed.

[impatentpending]

I would like it to be known that my 3 year long dream has come true and I got Powerless printed as a book.

When I first read Powerless, I was a cis, ablebodied, neurotypical lesbian, and it made me question the world around me.

As a gay, trans, disabled, autistic man, your story means even more to me than it did 3 years ago.

Thank you for your words. They’ve changed my life.

(the art is from @erstwhilesky)

Oh my gosh, I cannot tell you the absolute wave of emotions that hit me when I read this. I am beyond moved that this story means enough to you to get a physical copy three years after you first encountered it, and a whole five years after I finished it! Powerless is the first story I ever wrote, and knowing this venty little world that my sixteen year old self created is still important to other people too makes it feel like I'm not there alone. New Psyche and everyone in it is still there for us, and always will be.

I'm so proud of you for growing into yourself, and I hope that, in whatever way you continue to flourish, this world I created for us and everyone like us will let you know that you always have somewhere you belong.

[todayisafridaynight]

Share Mine notes please I beg (and on the arakawa fam if you have the timefkfd)

forgive me if these are messy as all fuck i'm not good at making notes BUT here's everything i generally keep in mind when drawing mine and hijikata + the reference sheets i look at when drawing them :)

arakawa family notes + references below:

(more notes about aoki + sawashiro's faces ft. ikumi here)

[doodlebeeberry]

i keep going back-and-forth on how amelia is presented by garrett.

on the one hand i think that amelia as a rather meticulous, routine-oriented person does line up with how shes presented, particular in episodes like plug dream. he says she could probably do his job at the gym better than her i think lines up pretty well with how shes presented overall, particularly in episode 8, as she pretty quickly (seemingly) steps up as the de-facto leader in airys absence and takes to the position quite well. even before then, her team mates did seem to look to her on what to do or how to do things. shes good at battening down the hatches and keeping things moving, which tracks with how he describes her. a person who favours consistency seeking consistency, only to have it ripped from her over and over. it works.

however, on the other hand, im not as sure about the presentation as her being "mysterious" from the set go. up until now, the general assumption seems to have been that her past was a mystery because the plane drove a wedge between he old life and her new life. she never talked about her life because she couldnt identify with it anymore, it was stolen from her. in presenting her as a generally secretive way, though, you lose that downward spiral a bit. Sure, she may still feel a disconnect--id bet she does! but now she doesnt talk about her past life cause shes just kinda...like that, i guess. doesnt have the same kick to it, to me.

though i guess garrett does make for a pretty lively narrator, for lack of a better term. maybe you could view him as being a bit unreliable, focusing on the wrong things. Or maybe it could be that amelia just draws a lot of lines in her life in general, between work and friends and family ans whatever else, and having all of that get slammed together, losing the ability to make her own situational definitions of herself by putting her in a position in which she is, fundamentally, nobody but Scenty could have messed with her, if that makes sense. or she could just prefer not to talk personal with her boss.

[fishbloc]

feel sooooo excited the dd storybook is almost here like theres actually a set deadline (in 2 weeks) and a week after that deadline ill get it shipped off for test prints and if the prototypes are good i can look into selling them. but the point is the storybook will be real!! my first self-published book!!! this is huge!!!

[literalite]

drawing the tears from scratch took a solid month off my overall lifetime but RAHHHHHH