#i kinda want to make an English cover of this myself actually | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

caxde · 2 years

Text

dazed and confused | eddie munson x reader

summary you work on Hawkin's music shop, and Eddie is a regular costumer. Your friends (Steve and Robin mostly) help you to gain confidence and flirt with him.

word count: 8.1k (i think is the longest oneshot ive ever done, yikes)

warnings fem!reader (but i think i didn't use pronouns so u know ;) ), fluff, like lots of fluff, mutual pining, yearning etc, slowburn strangers to lovers, idiots in love!!!, use and metion of beer and cigarretes. english is not my first language so I apologise if there’s some mistakes, not proof read!!

“You might actually have fun” He said for the millionth time, following you around as you restock the shelves.

“Oh, I dunno Harrignton.” You answer, glancing quickly at him. “Doubt I’ll do.” You remark, keeping track of what you needed to get from the back, you counted and scribbled down on your little notebook.

“C’mon, just a couple hours, if you’re not having fun I’ll drive you back home myself.” You were getting slightly annoyed at him now, he could have chosen any day to come and mess around at your job, but as it turned out, Saturday was your busiest day, and it was release week for a lot of musicians, December approaching as it were.

“Dude, seriously, you can come in here and annoy me, but please not today?” You begged as you walked behind the counter, leaving him waiting as you disappeared for a few seconds crouching down at the boxes and picking up a promotional poster that you begged your manager would let you keep.

“If I leave, will you agree to come?” You scoff away at his question and the only response you received was him messing his hair up.

“Why do you insist on me to come?” You demand, daggers shooting away at him. “Take Robin! Robin loves parties.” You say, truly meaning it, hoping he would listen to you.

“Robin finally has a date!” He announces as a proud father, and you almost drop all the vinyls you were holding.

“Shit! Really?” You ask with your face in complete glee, a smile growing in between your cheeks.

“Yeah! Vickie asked her after she dumped that blonde dude, so, I need a wing-woman!” He explains, almost screaming even if you can tell he was aiming for a whisper, he was so excited it got to the best of him.

“Why though?” You still didn’t understand why he wanted you there.

“Okay, jesus…” He finally admits, sounding defeated as he walks behind you, you needed to restock more vinyls in the rock and metal section. “Nance is gonna be there… And… You know…”

“Oh…” You said as you realized that he needed a little push to get the one that got away back. “Wait, didn’t Nancy dump you at a party?” You demand as you walk back to the section and start organizing the pressed music into different artists.

“Well yeah, thought it would be kinda nice to-'' He cuts himself off, shaking his head and locking eyes with you. “Please?”

“Jesus Christ….” At that moment he knew you had agreed, and his smile grew bigger. “Yeah, ‘kay, but you owe me, like… big time!” You shout at him, finger raised and everything, he smiled and nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, I’ll pick you up a six-pack or whatever you wanna.” He says as he’s leaving.

“Or you could actually buy something for once!” You scream at him, too far away to actually hear anything you’re saying to him. “Asshole” You mutter under your breath.

Keeping your brain focused on the task at hand, you looked at the bands that you had in front of you, Deep Purple, Iron Maiden, Metallica and Led Zeppelin. Your finger tapped the last one’s cover, thinking if you needed to get more stocked. And how in love you were with the last album. You were gonna buy yourself a copy as soon as you could. So you took a little bit longer to actually put them together, making sure everything looked nice and was easy to find, as you spin rapidly to get back to the counter, your body slams into someone else’s.

“Shit, sorry!” You say as you look up at this boy’s face. You froze on the spot.

“S’okay, wasn’t looking.” He says, grabbing your arm, pushing you back , looking at you, making sure you are okay. His brown eyes looking directly at yours. Long curly hair framing them. “You okay?” He asks, inclining his head slightly to the right.

“Ah, yeah, yeah. Great. Um, if you need help with anything…” You stumble as you talk, you have only seen him from afar, never actually spoke to him, you didn’t even know his name. Only thing you knew was this, he came every Thursday and looked if you had anything new, so it was shocking to see him on a Saturday .

He didn’t talk much when he checked the things off, biting his lower lip, he would nod and search for the money you asked for.

“Actually, do you have the um… Perfect Strangers cassette? You know it’s-” You feel bad from cutting him up, but you get excited for a second.

“Deep Purple? Yeah!” You say, happy to help him, he smiles at you and you can’t help your face as you copy his expression. “Great album…” You whisper as you relook at the shelves.

“Yeah, I Know, I lent it to a friend, and I don’t think I'll ever get it back, so…” He explains, as he follows you, you chuckle at his explanation as you nod.

“Happened to me with Mötley Crue’s Too Fast For Love '' You say to him, at which you see him smile to himself. “Aha!” You let out as you see the little cassette, you point your feet to reach when you feel him behind you, arm higher than yours, chest closer than before, your cheeks growing red at an alarming rate as he grabs it before you, and you look up at his hand, three silver rings decorating his fingers.

“I got it” He says, once you turn to him. He smiles as he messes with his hair, and when he realizes that he’s a little too close to you for a stranger, takes an apologetic step back, and signals you to go first, bowing his head low. You whisper a thanks as you walk to the register.

“Do you… Um.. want anything else… uh..?” You ask, hopping he introduces himself, so you can stop referring to him in your head as hellfire boy

“Um, Eddie.” He says, you smile as you hear his name, he does the same as he looks at you.

“Do you need anything else, Eddie?” You ask, cheeks flushed pink and a smile on your face.

“No, no, that’ll be it.” He says, searching for his wallet in his back pocket. You nod, and as you grab a little bag for his cassette, you leave a Deep Purple patch in the bag, a little gift for him.

“Okay then, here you go.” He left a ten dollar bill and before you could give him the change he gestures a no with his head, smiling as he does so.

“Keep the change, and thank you.” He says grabbing the bag, giving you one last look.

“See you!” You say.

“Yeah, see you.” He says, as you watch him leave, biting your lower lip containing your excitement.

You were retouching your make-up in the passenger's seat, nervously fussing as you tried to apply mascara over the speed bumps.

“Jesus Harrigton! Don’t wanna poke my eye out.” You say to him, as he slows down for once.

“Sorry!” He says again. “Don’t know why you’re so nervous now…” He says under his breath, stopping at a red light, at which you take advantage of and draw in your waterline, black.

“S’nothing.” You mumble, evidently lying. You can feel his questioning stare and you chuckle. “What?”

“Someone’s happy…” He teases, as he leaves the red light you see him smiling at himself. “Oh… did he finally talk to you?” He says teasing you.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about…” You whisper, dismissing his tone and smudging your eyeliner a bit, playing with your hair next.

“Oh come on! I saw him in the shop eyeing you!” He says, you can’t help but smile.

“Damn it Steve!” You confess in between laughs. He parks his car as you continue. “He did… he’s nice..” You admit, playing with your ring nervously as you wait for him to stop the car.

“Did you… I dunno, introduce yourself? Ask for his number? Flirt a little?” he keeps teasing you as he leaves the car, six-pack on his left hand. You slam the door shut as you let out air.

“I panicked, only got his name…”

“God you’re bad at this.” He chuckles, as he gives you an opened beer bottle.

“Welp, you are supposed to teach me so…” You tease back, taking a quick sip.

“Fuck off…” He says, opening one for himself, walking up to the noisy house.

“I did give him a little gift, and he tipped, so maybe he’ll remember me next time…” You say looking at the floor, drinking a little bit more. Getting more nervous as you saw more and more people hanging about the place you were going.

“Sure he will, you’re unforgettable!” He says sarcastically. You show him your tongue in a teasing response.

It really wasn’t your scene, corny music, people making-out as soon as you opened the door could be seen, you really wished Robin was here, so you could speak to someone when Steve inevitably disappeared with somebody else. He walked to the kitchen and you followed him, you could see him searching for her, and you couldn’t resist but to tease him, whispering loverboy to his ear, he playfully punched you. But as soon as he saw her, he was left speechless.

“You really like her, huh?” you asked him, eyes in the opposite direction.

He nodded as he looked at you. You smiled, happy to keep watch in the kitchen.

“Go!” You said to him, he moved his head no and looked at the ground, playing nervously with his hair.

“No, no– I ah… Leave you alone?” he mumbled as he tried to keep his cool.

“It is okay Steve.” you reassured him. “You go talk to Nance, I’ll make sure the beer is drinkable.” You say to him ironically, he chuckled and muttered a thank you to you as he left.

You nodded at the two idiots.

You knew Nancy still liked him, so you enjoyed seeing the two idiots in love talking to each other, from afar. It was also fun to tease him back.

So you did as you promised, you stayed put with a drink in your hand, and when it finished, you refilled, holding onto hope that Steve won’t be long, and proven mistaken when twenty minutes pass. You grew bored of Bowie’s music, not that you didn’t like “The Rise and Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars” but you had been playing that for two weeks over at the shop, courtesy of his new movie he starred in, and you just needed a break. As you searched for a distraction, you saw an abandoned packet of Camel on the kitchen counter, jackpot.

You could smoke it right there, but some fresh air would keep you more refreshed and awake.

So you stumbled your way across, walking through the maze of drunken people, or couples grossly making-out. Hopefully, the back door was open and nobody was blocking it, so you could breath in the cold air, your beat up cropped Zeppelin shirt wasn't that much help against the cold, but you didn’t seem to mind, it actually felt kind of nice, to be able to feel the warmth the cigarette left in your fingers.

Red cup in one hand, cigarette in the other, you looked out at the yard, and almost dropped them both.

He was here. And he was looking curiously at you. He smiled as he waved to you, and you did the same, dragging the smoke out of your fingers, and as you see him approaching you can’t help but mutter shit to yourself.

“Hey” He says, lips parted from the cold, rosy cheeks for the same motive contrasting his pale skin.

“He-hey” You mutter, readjusting your voice, since it’s been a while since you spoke out loud.

“What are you doing here?” he says, hugging himself, leather sleeves poking out of his jean vest.

“I, um. A friend needed some luck…” You say vaguely, not believing that he was actually speaking to you, and not really caring why he actually was doing so.

“Oh, he around?” He said, looking behind you, moving his head around, your eyes fixated in his neck.

“Ah, no. He left with the girl a while ago. Hopefully he actually gets lucky this time…” You say more to yourself than to him, at which you catch him chuckle, and you smile in replay. And you can’t help but look at him again. You get lost in his chest, more importantly, in a newly stitched up patch, he notices you looking at it and smiles at you.

“Found it in a bag…” He says looking at you, grin in his face. “Thank you, for it.” He continued.

“Thought you might like it.” You admit, your cheeks were getting warmer, despite the cold that surrounded you.

“I do, thank you stranger.” He said, as he winked at you, you nodded, words failing you in that moment.

“You’re welcome.”

“What you drinking?” he asks, reaching for the cup, and you let him take a sip of it, sight locked in his lips. “Mmh, nice.” He says, getting closer to you, offering his arm. “Wanna get more?” he asks. At which, you take his arm and head inside, not really believing that it was really happening, or what was actually going on.

“Enough about my date! I wanna hear about yours!” Robin’s voice comes through the speaker of your telephone, you laugh in shock.

“What date?” You ask, and for whatever reason she laughs at the question.

“Oh come on” She says, ironically, you can tell she’s moving her head side to side. “Steve told me you weren’t alone when he came down” She whispers, and your hand reaches your eyes, shame in your heart.

“God dammit Robs… He’s so nice… And it wasn’t a date, ‘cus a date would mean that he asked me out, which he hasn’t, and honestly, I think he was just trying to be nice ‘cus stupid Steve left me alone with people I don’t really know.” She was laughing again, you were getting flustered at the memory of him.

“Or maybe, he wanted to get to know you, you know?”

“I dunno… Don’t wanna create expectations and then…”

“Yeah, yeah…” She finishes for you. “Well, tomorrows a Thursday, so maybe you’ll see him again?” She asks with teasing in her tone.

“Yeah, maybe.”

It had been months since you had such calmness in the store. So much so, you were the only one working today, could choose the background music, and since everything was clean, stocked and organized, you could just enjoy the moment.

Perfect stillness.

So you crouched down to the little crate that you hide behind the counter labeled workers shit. You roamed through it, hoping to find something that would catch your eye, passing from album to album, admiring every cover art, because you quite literally had nothing else to do. As you emerged back up, you had a dilemma in front of you, and you let your head rest in your hands as you looked down at both albums. Rumors by Fleetwood Mac was an exceptional album, you had no doubt about it, but… Led Zeppelin’s self titled one was eyeing you.

“Where to start, where to start…” You sang to yourself as you thought, completely lost in possibility.

So it really shouldn’t surprise anyone, that his voice surprised you enough to jump as he spoke, making you both laugh.

“No music?” He said before you jumped, and after a quick chuckle and apology he continued. “Sorry, I meant… You always have music playing.” he came back, and with him, your pink cheeks and nervousness.

“I.. Well yeah, but I usually just agree to whatever my colleague wants, and I almost never have the choice so now I don’t really know what to start with…” You explain to him, fast, almost rumbling as he smiles at you, big brown eyes looking tenderly as he does so.

His hands find their way over the counter, close enough to yours to make you unconsciously bite your lower lip, as your eyes follow them up. Hands, wrists, arms, shoulders, neck, long hair, eyes. His head looked down, as his fingers moved to grab the album on the left, focused as he read what they had inside, while the only thing you could actually focus on were the veins in his arms.

“Didn’t think you liked Fleetwood…” He mumbled, you leaned closer, without really thinking about what your body was doing.

“Well, Steveie’s voice… She truly is magic.” You whisper, more to you than to him. He lights up as his eyes meet yours, smiles in both your faces.

“Wouldn’t really know…” He confesses, pulling his body closer, forearms resting atop of the counter, whispering to you. “Haven’t really given them an opportunity…” He says, eyes travelling from your eyes, to your lips and neck. Even if you were nervous about having him that close, you were so happy to be able to talk to him about music! of all things… You were just really enjoying the moment.

“Well, you gotta.” You replay with a shy smile, your eyes completely lost in his. He nods as he taps the vinyl.

“You got ‘em in cassette?” He asks, and as you nod you pull back a bit, looking at your shelf. You had it saved in case someone called <<Lauren>> would pick it up, but it's been three months and she hadn’t, so you decide to rip the post-it off and throw it in the thrash. You feel his sight locked on your back, and that might be why you move slower, or why your waist turns more than it needs to.

“There you go.”

“Thanks.” He says, reaching for his wallet. You put your hand forward, signaling a no with your head as you smiled softly at him.

“On me.” You say, pushing the little plastic box to him. He smiles as he reaches for it, fingers touching yours, electricity between both of you.

“You don’t have to…” He says, still holding it, brushing your index finger, eyes still locked with yours.

“I want to.” You reassure him.

He nods, and mutters a thank you. You look at him as he starts to leave and you go back to the vinyl, taking it out of its envelope, when you hear his sneakers turning around.

“When do you get off?”

“8.30.” You replay, shocked at the question.

“You’ve got plans?”

“No”

“Wanna come to The Hideout?” He says, and you could swear he was the one getting flushed. “My uh… My band plays there at 9.30” He adds, your smile grows bigger. “We usually do it on Tuesdays and its a smaller crowd, but he got an offer to play today.” He says excitedly, rumbling like you do. “You can tell your friends” You can see him getting nervous, just like you did when he first approached you. “Or you know-”

You cut him off.

“I’ll be there.”

“So, it is a date?” Robin said once you arrived at the small bar.

“No, I mean I don’t think so…” You replay, your eyebrows furrowed, as you looked at her smiling, teasing face.

“But he did ask you?” She continues, with the same tone.

“Well, yeah, but… y’know, a date is like, only two people, and you talk to the other person, and get to know them, right?” You try to rationalize, as you ask for help by looking at her. “I mean, he probably was just being nice, or… or friendly? Like, y’know, I gave him a tape so he invited me and a friend to come around…so technically… not a date?” She didn’t give you an answer, she just shrugged her shoulders and laughed, heading to the entrance of said bar, you followed her, not any calmer, not one bit.

“Or he just wanted to show off, leave you impressed and then ask you out.” She says as you reach the actual bar, and as you push her shoulder in a friendly punch, she stumbles into a blonde girl you can’t really see, so you apologise, until you see Robin’s smile grow bigger in her face. “Well hello…” She muttered.

“Hey cutie.” Vickie. You smiled at the sight of them, pure adoration between their eyes. They took a bit of time to eye one another until they remembered you were there, and you couldn’t help but laugh at them.

“God, you two are cute…” You say, as they giggle back at you. “Do you idiots in love want anything?”

“Nah”

“We’re good, thank you!” Vickie says, finally looking at you, at which you nod.

You walked back to the bar, glancing at your friend, and a smile on your face. You were incredibly happy for her, she had been patient, and she deserved it more than anyone, and Vickie seemed so nice…

“Waddu want, sweetie?” The bartender's voice snaps you back into reality, and you quickly look at him.

“Ah, yeah, sorry.” He nods, and so do you. “Um, just a beer, please?” You say, maybe a bit too low you realize, but he seemed to understand you just fine. You reached into the inside of your jacket pocket, and once you had your wallet in your hand and looked at the man handing you the beer he shakes his head no.

“Already taken care of, sweetie.” He says, pointing at Eddie on the stage, waving hello at you. You blush a little bit as you salute him with the bottle, mouthing a small cheers to him, and he smiles back with a thumbs up.

“Thank you” You say to the bartender, and he nods in response. You walk back to your friends as you check the time on your wrist, it was about to start. “Hey, d’you wanna get closer?” They both nod, and you march on, and surprisingly, and even if the venue wasn’t that big, it was packed tonight, so you decided to stay in the third row, where you could be more comfortable, and still have room to dance.

“Oh shit, almost forgot.” Robin said, grabbing your elbow. “Steve gave me back your camera, says it should work now.” You smile as a thank you. The kids had begged you to trust them with this project, and hopefully they did a good job.

“Is it loaded?” You ask, eyeing Eddie in the shadows. Light still not on. Robin nodded in response and you got back to admiring him.

When the lights did finally light up, you were amazed. His arms were in full display, tattoos visible, and so were his veins, as he grabbed his guitar with force. The light bounced around his skin, making him look more defined than you had ever seen him. Just some hours ago you had seen him, but truly never like this. He ditched his usual Hellfire shirt, and wore a black button up, held together by the last button, so the red light that the stage had travelled down his chest, and what was worse, he was smiling. He was smiling directly at you.

So you spent the rest of the gig taking pictures of him, as he looked at you, and on occasions, Robin photographed you smiling at him.

“You really are their mom, huh?” You tease Steve as he hangs around the counter, waiting for the lunch club to actually pick what they want.

“Shuddup.” He says, slightly annoyed, a smile on his face as he looks back at them. “And I prefer being called a babysitter, thank you so much.” He answers, nodding his head, making his hair bop up and down.

“Okay… Babysitter Harrington…” He scoffs with a short laugh, as do you. You look down at the photos again, the kids developed them for you and you were in awe. And yeah, they had a million questions that you avoided.

“So…?”

“What?”

“Oh come on, you're smiling at them!” Steve points as he says so, grabbing one of the photos that shows a very happy you looking at him on the stage.

“It’s nothing” You mumble, trying to not give it any importance, covering them with a piece of paper.

“Oh, fuck off. You might be able to bullshit Henderson or Wheeler but not me.” He declares, looking at you. You could tell that he won’t stop annoying you until you open your mouth. “And besides, Robin told me some things. I mean she was more focused on the whole Vickie of it all, but y’know”

“Yeah, I know. They really look happy Steve…” He asks you to continue with a raised eyebrow. “I just don’t wanna make a fool out of myself. He was just being nice. Not a date. Just him inviting me to his little gig.” As you say that you can’t help but recall him, in the stage, absolutely adoring the applause and praise he got, and how he soaked the light red up, making him look angelic and demonic at the same time.

“Look, maybe he does want to ask you out, but he's too shy to do so?” He asks, looking at you, reassuring with a little tap on your shoulder. “Like you…”

He gets interrupted by a little curly haired kid wearing a snapback.

“You guys talking ‘bout Eddie?” Dustin asks, raising his eyebrows at you.

“Hello to you too kid.” You answer in return. “What is it gonna be Henderson?” You ask, in your customer service voice as he hands you over a little tape. “Huh, didn’t take you for an Iron Maiden fan Dustin.” You say as you scan it.

“Well…” He starts to explain as he reaches for his pocket. “It’s actually a present, y’know, an end of campaign gift for our DM.” He says excited, as he raises his eyebrows.

“Oh, nice.” You smile back at him. “Sure he’ll like it.” You reassure him, even if you didn’t understand a word that came out of his mouth.

“Yeah, Eddie said he loves this band!” Mike adds up, having found his way into the conversation, with another tape in his hand.

“Oh, Eddie the um…?” They all nod, knowing what you were going to ask. “He actually already has this one…” You say with an apologetic look in your face.

“Shit. You sure?” Dustin asks.

“Yeah, he ordered Somewhere In Time two weeks ago, and paid for it, he’ll probably come and collect it today or tomorrow.” You say as you turn the monitor to the kids, who stare with awe at the amount of data collected.

“You keep track of him?” Mike asks, accusing you of something.

“What? No.” You spit back at him. “I’m just good at my job.” You say as you stick your tongue out at him. “You could get him some uh… Black Sabbath, y’know?” You ask as the two little kids nod at you. You take a second to run to the back of the store and grab some of the ones that you still had to restock. “So one Seventh Star to go.” You say as you hand it to them, who look incredibly nervous now. “What? I can give you guys more options if your not-”

They cut you off as they snatch the tape out of your hands and throw the bill at you as they run out of the store.

“Who raised you?” You ask more to yourself than anyone else, as you're left there, in awe and shock, looking at Steve for some answers.

“Your boy just got in.” He says as he nods to him, who was heading to the hard-rock section. “See ya!” He says as he runs to reach the little kids.

You’re left alone and feeling completely speechless. Asking yourself a million questions about what has just really happened, but too focused on getting your job actually done, even if you were just distracted.

So you recovered the box in the back with everything that you had to restock, being interrupted by a soft smiling Eddie standing at the counter, tapping along at the song that’s playing in the background.

“Hey Eddie.” You salute him, shyly, leaving the box on the counter.

“Hey stranger.” He said back, a smile growing bigger.

“I’ve got your tape, hold on.” You say as you look for it on your shelf.

“No rush.” He says, locking his eyes in you, watching patiently as you head back, and he really was looking at every detail of you, from the way that you walk to the way that your hair moved as you did so. He was blushing now.

When you come back with it, you find him with the photo that Steve had in his hand, smiling as he looks at it, looking back at a very flustered you.

“Oh…” Is the only thing that you manage to say.

“You look good…” He mutters, with a whisper of a voice.

“I um… thanks!” You answer, not really sure what to do next. So you leave the tape down and uncover the rest of the photos. “I took some of you and… Robin, well, the tall girl that was with me also took some and uh well… Wasn’t gonna really show them to you ‘cause they're kinda bad but-” He cuts your rambling with a chuckle as he looks at all of them.

He’s smiling with his teeth, blushing and stroking them softly, his ring decorated fingers passing through them.

“They are good. You make me look amazing.” He praises you.

“Well, you are.” You say before realizing what you were actually saying.

Once you did, your face was warmer and for sure showing colors.

He smiles and you do the same, with a soft laugh as your eyes lock once again, his body resting completely on the counter now, dreamily looking at you, back and forth between your eyes and your lips.

“Thank you…” He says, grabbing the tape. A moment of silence, not awkward but comfortable, is shared between the two of you. “What is… what’s this song?” He asks, and you're left in shock.

“You gotta know T.Rex…” You say back to him, as you see how he shyly moves his head no, burying his face in his hands in shame. “Eddie!”

“I’m sorry! I don’t…” He says back at you, biting his lower lip.

“Oh come on… D’you know, Jeepster?” No he lets you know. “Okay, how about um…Sinister Purpose by Creedence Clearwater Revival?” No again. “Jesus… Led? You know Led Zeppelin?”

“Yeah, I know them.” You sigh in relief.

“Dazed and Confused?” You ask him, it being your favourite song.

“I kinda feel like that, yeah.” The palm of your hand reaches your face in frustration.

“It’s a song…” You whisper, as you chuckle and he laughs as he apologises. “My favourite actually.”

“Then I’m sure it’s a good one.”

“That’s not enough!” You let him know, flustered in all kinds of ways. “D’you know what, I’ll make you a tape, so you can actually know them, and maybe you’ll like them.” You say as you get lost in him for a second too long.

“Okay then, but, you’ll listen to it with me.”

“Okay, sure.”

“Grate, pick you up tomorrow when you close.” He says as he leaves with the new Iron Maiden tape under his hand.

And it suddenly dawns on you, that did sound like a date.

Finally, the last lady left the store.

And the usual relief that you were used to feel when closing time came around, became a weird excitement.

So, as a distraction or a routine, you did what you usually did once you were left to your own devices. Change the sign to closed, dial the volume up, and sing at the top of your lungs as you sweep the shop.

You would normally have to do inventory and whatnot, but your co-worker Carla had already, she even closed the register, begging you to let her go early because she had a hot date. Of course you said yes, not wanting to tell her that you might have one too.

Because, as usual, you were looking at Eddie’s proposition practically.

You had gifted him a Deep Purple Patch, so he was nice to you at the party.

You had given him a tape and he invited you to see him in The Hideout. (And bought you a beer)

You had offered to make him a tape with your favourite songs and he said he wanted you there when he heard them.

So technically, he was just being nice.

But then again, people that are just friends don’t really do things he did.

Steve and you were just friends, and he never drank from your cup. Eddie did.

Robin and you were just friends, and she had never blushed when you complimented her. Eddie did.

Steve and you were just friends, and he never made you blush so much your face became like a tomato. Eddie did.

You grew frustrated of making stupid lists in your head, so you really tried to focus on what you were actually doing, to little to no use.

So you focused on the lyrics, mumbling along them, screaming the occasional phrase that you enjoyed, dancing around and using the broom as if it were your personal microphone stand.

So when you heard a little laugh, you jumped, almost falling to the ground. Broom touching it.

Eddie had sneaked in, and had surely enjoyed the little show you had going on, dancing around not really caring, and he laid there, standing close to the entrance door smiling at you.

“Sorry!” He said, with an apologetic gesture. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s alright! I was just um…”

“Dancing” He finishes, resting his weight on a shelf, arms crossed in his chest, looking you up and down as you squad down to retrieve the fallen object. You nod with your cheeks pink, not really knowing what to say next, a comfortable silence, broken by his voice once again. “You need help?”

“Oh, um.. no don’t worry, it’s just this corner I’ve got left.” You say to him, really trying not to get distracted by the way his arms look, tensed up, with his veins showing as his sleeves got caught up in his upper forearms. “I do have to go backdoor and grab my coat but it’s a second.” You say, as you smile wilde at him. He nods as he starts walking to the counter.

“I got it.” He says. Before you can tell him not to bother, he’s already in the back rummaging through as you hear him humming to himself.

You try to finish your work before he gets out, and for whatever reason, maybe he’s distracted by the amount of unreleased material you guard, or maybe in a more mundane manner, he is just truly admiring your jacket, and picturing you wearing as he has seen multiple times from afar, he does just that, finding you in the back of the counter, turning the computer off and turning the stereo off, making sure you were missing nothing.

His hands travel to your waist, squeezing it softly, his cold hands in contact with your warm skin, you feel the tingle that the goosebumps leave your skin, electricity flying between both of you.

You turn around surprised, almost tripping over him in a flustered reaction, you let out a soft moan that escapes your soft lips. He smirks as he sees you, close to his body, and your chest agitated, in contrast to his calm demeanor.

“Your jacket” He whispers, lips to your ear as you turn to look at him, before you’re locking eyes to one another.

“Th-thanks.” You manage to say, not knowing how to ask, being this close to him.

If you were being honest, you had pictured his home a million times, each of it different to the last one, but you would have never guessed just how perfect it was for him.

A small trailer, fit with the strangest things that suited him.

A collection of mugs lives in the walls of the entrance, decorating the yellow walls, T.V turned off.

You were focused on the, each one different to the next, they didn’t seem to be in any particular order, but in an organized chaos that fitted him in an incredible manner.

“Those are Wayne’s mugs.” He says, as he watches you with a smirk in his face, as you admire them.

“They’re fun. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many mugs together.” He laughs as he looks at you once again, his sight lost in your figure and the way your body moves, standing finally in his living room.

You fidget with the tape as you look around, not sure where to sit or where to go, your body relaxes as you see him come closer to you, beer in hand offering it to you.

You nod as you take it, happy for the drink, excited for the company.

“If you wanna, I can bring the stereo here, I usually keep it in my room ‘cus Wayne finds it annoying but…” He shakes his head as he’s rumbling, eyes moving back, from the floor to you. “Whatever you find more comfortable I don’t wanna uh…” You smile back at him, relating to his rumbling.

You find that he’s not as intimidating as he shows to the world, you see his soft side, not really wanting to really push you into anything that would make you feel slightly uncomfortable or awkward or whatever that is the contrary of safe.

So you nod, as you lock eyes.

“I’m sure it's heavy, we can just go there, door open…” You say, letting him know your boundary for tonight.

He guides you to his room, an organized mess lies before you. A big hand-sprayed Corroded Coffin banner hanging from one wall, multiple posters, some you recognized from your own walls at work, some laid in your own room, a desk full of various things, from ashtrays (full and almost empty in rotation), to a mechanic’s manual lay around.

“Kinda messy, sorry…” He says, as he catches you looking around, amazed.

“No, actually… Kinda pictured you in a room like this.” You replay, playing with the tape in between your fingers, tapping it nervously.

Looking down at it, you realize you clearly had a favourite band. Side A being filled with different bands, while the whole of Side B is just filled exclusively with Led Zeppelin.

You're getting embarrassed that he might hate it.

“You okay?” He asks as he notices you, frozen in the spot, looking down at the mixtape.

“Uh, yeah… Sorry… Just realized this might be shit.” You say, apologetically, raising your shoulders up.

He moves his head no as he smiles at you, approaching as his teeth show, hair brushing his cheeks.

“You’re overthinking.” He says, touching your fingers as he grabs the tape, spending more time than he needed to in doing so, enjoying your touch and the warmth you leave in his skin.

The closeness doesn’t make you nervous, or produces butterflies, it actually calms you down. You feel as if he is a safe-space, not a reason for your anxiety to run through, and as you realize this, you can’t help your lips to widen your smile, eyes locked in his touch.

“Is this one of yours?” He asks as he flips the tape, the cover was one of the photos you took on his gig. Him. Standing in all his glory. Low cut black shirt framing his torso, tattoos poking out. His eyes looking directly at the camera, directly at you. As he smiles, guitar in his hand.

“Yeah, thought you might like it…” You see as he nods, a pink colour creeping in his cheeks.

“You really make me look like a Rockstar…” He whispers back, as he moves to the stereo, and you clock three various sized amps in his room, so you giggle a little at the sight of them, he turns to you, tape still in his hand. “What?” He asks with glee in his face.

“Am I gonna go deaf with…?” You ask as you point to them, he shakes his head no as he looks at them, chuckling as he does so.

“Ah, no… No. They’re ah, one’s for the gigs, the big one is. The middle one has something that’s broken inside but it makes this cool reverb effect so we sometimes use it when we’re messing around, y’know.” He begins to explain, excitedly as he points and walks over to each one of them, smiling brightly at you. “And this little boy is the one that I actually use for the stereo. I mean it's smaller but it sounds amazing…” He says as he slaps it with a familiarity of having done this a thousand times. Maybe when it doesn’t work that well you think.

So you nod, as you take a sip of the beer, sitting down in his bed, comfortable sheets to your touch.

Sinister Purpose filled the room.

The bass line that you adored made you move your head up and down at a very surprised yet attentive Eddie. You could see how his brain was centered in the lyrics as his hand tapped along his tight, mimicking what accords were being used.

And you did what you could never help yourself to stop. You whispered the words, coming in and out of song, enjoying it, maybe a little too much.

“Sinister Purpose…Knocking at your door… Come and take my hand…” You continued as it was finishing. Enjoying the final riff, relaxing into his bed, taking another sip. He walked right where you were. Sitting next to you, clinging the bottles before he sips his own.

“Not my usual, but it's a fun one.” He says, as you smile at him, nodding to his words.

“I know but shuush, T.Rex’s coming!” You say excitedly. Tapping your hands to the rhythm

Jeepster was now playing, and you used your beer bottle as if it were a mic, fooling around making him laugh, once he learned the chorus, he would match your words, messing around with you. Swinging both of your heads, laughter filling the room.

He didn’t know the first part of the verse, so he would shut up, looking, or in a better match of words, adoring you as you delight him.

“The wild winds blow… upon your frozen cheeks… The way you flip your hip… it always makes me weak!” You start, and you see him smiling, as he mumbles the next lyrics, not really following along with the rhythm, even if your ring is marking it against the glass bottle.

“‘Cos you’re my baby… ‘cos you’re my love… Oh girl I’m just a jeepster for your love.” Laughter and giggles coming from both of you, truly enjoying the moment, teasing one another, really meaning what you were singing even if the other was obvious to it.

As the song was drawing to a finish, he started to give you his review.

“It’s a really dovey-lovey song, isn’t it?” He said, with his eyebrows raised, locking his eyes on you, hand resting in your lap.

“Well, yeah. But it’s catchy. You were singing it!” You contradict his words by nudging him in his chest. As you do so you realize how truly close he is. His thigh was almost touching yours, yet his hand rested in it, electricity escaping from it. Your chests were in each others direction, eyes locked, undivided attention and, why not say it, adoration, clear for one another. “Besides, I am like that…”

Your eyes darting away from him, looking down at your beer. Nervousness of having him close, or maybe to open up, you decide to take another big mouthful of it.

“What do you mean-” You interrupt him.

“Oh, I think you’ll really like this one!” You say excited.

Children of the Revolution starts slowly.

And you see him tapping along on your thigh, as he's enamoured by the atmosphere that the bass and guitar create. His eyes locked on the amp.

“That…” He whispers as Marc Bolan’s voice fills the room. “Is awesome.” He finishes as he looks back at you.

“Yeah, kinda reminded me of you, y’know…” You whisper as you play with the paper tag of the bottle, sowly peeling it off. “They won’t fool you, children of the revolution…” you smile as you so slightly twist the lyrics to fit him, and he shyly smiles in return, his teeth showing. A soft giggle escaping his lips, his body relaxing more, touching yours now.

“You…” He doesn’t find the right words for everything he would like to say, so he resigns with letting his thumb stroke your thigh in a repetitive pattern.

It’s not only goosebumps, or warmth or electricity this time. But a sense that his hands belong in your body that fills you up.

No words needed, you are aware that you both feel the same way.

The Chain starts playing softly, and you see him smiling now.

“Well, that one reminds me of you…” He says, looking at your eyes, though his flicker to your lips for just a moment.

“They hated each other when they wrote it.” You replay, absentmindedly, whispering.

“Well, I could never hate you…” He whispers back. His hand stopping the repetitive stroking pattern, frozen in place, fear in his eyes that you could ever think that.

“Good…” You say, placing a lock of hair away from his face, touching it ever so slightly. “I wouldn’t-” He cuts you off.

“I know.” He finishes, as he guides your body to his chest. A warm embrace shared between the both of you, your heart beating louder and faster in anticipation to everything you wanna say and do to him, but you are trapped under his weight. Enjoying the way he holds you, just as nervous as you are, you feel he is. A private moment, an intimate one at that.

The tape clicks. Pulling you both away from the moment. Demanding a turn to its other side, so he breaks the hug, standing up as he readjusts his pants, your eyes following his hand and his movement. Staring at him, all of him.

Finally, your favorite song starts filling the room, and as Dazed And Confused starts, you see him smiling.

The suggestive bass line moves him to extend his hand to you, and you naturally accept it.

Robert Plant truly feels like he’s whispering in both of your ears, as you begin to slow dance.

“Dazed and confused for so long it's not true…Wanted a woman, never bargained for you”

You feel his hands traveling to your lower back, holding you closer than ever before, smiling as he does so. Yours lost in the back of his neck, playing with his curly wilde hair.

“Can I ask you something?” He whispers into your ear, his voice shaking as he does so.

“Yeah.”

“What do you do when you meet someone you like?”

“Tryin' to love you, baby, but you go on hurtin' so…Soul of a woman was created below”

“Well, I talk, and I drink, and I make them mixtapes and free music and hope they’ll eventually like me back…” You whisper to him, moving your head away from his chest so you can look at him in his eyes, a declaration. You bite your lower lip in nervousness. “What do you do?”

“I wanna love you baby, but you do me so bad…The worst little woman I once ever had, I've got to quit you baby”

“I uhm… I go to their workplace, hope they notice me, make them laugh and invite them to my gigs and…” He can’t bring himself to finish his words. He hadn’t been looking at your eyes, but was distracted, lost in your lips.

So when he dipped down to finally close the distance, you gladly let him, finally kissing him. Not in a rush or in desperation. But in total adoration and care.

Truly in love with one another.

You spent the rest of the tape kissing as you danced together, in no rush, both of you knowing this was just the beginning to a long story.

if you enjoyed (i I really hope you did), please reblog! i promise it makes a difference

823 notes · View notes

rederiswrites · 1 year

Text

My grand dream for reenactment, at the moment, is to--actually hol' up, there are two.

Have a good (not perfect; I'm not gonna kill myself over handstitching hidden seams or the perfect fabric weaves) kit for every major era of Awesome Beads. So, garments, headdress, belt, and metal accessories, basically. Shoes for some but that gets into expensive-ass shit I'm not gonna make myself, so my super-basic turnshoes will have to cover a lot, and skirts the rest. The metal accessories are also balls expensive but uhhhhh I want them. So that'd be, roughly, Phoenician, Roman, La Tene/Hallstatt Celtic (I'm fine rolling them together a bit), Merovingian/Frankish, early medieval Slavic, "Viking", and Anglo Saxon/early medieval English. (Apparently there's some scholarly push to replace Anglo Saxon with the more inclusive Early English, but I've not yet educated myself on the arguments.) All that isn't as bad as it sounds, because for example the same unbleached, undyed linen undertunic will serve for almost all of those. I am kinda ignoring some North African awesomeness for the simple reason that I'd be starting 100% from scratch researching that and I am just not up to it right now.

Two is directly related--I wanna see how many cultures I can accurately portray with a very limited number of garments. Like, how far can I get with one wool peplos, one unbleached linen undertunic, and accessories. Cuz honestly I think I can get at least three early cultures out of that. The peplos was worn across Europe in the sphere of Roman influence, for one thing. And the unbleached/white linen undertunic is basic virtually until it started being cotton and some of us are STILL wearing it as dresses and slips and nightgowns, because, well, form follows function.

I lied there are three. This one's pretty basic for a historical lampworker though. I've got to get my design boards together with sample recreations organized by culture/dig site. I already regularly make more than enough styles to fill them.

I lied there are four. The next complete necklace recreation I have my eyes on is this phenomenal recent find in Finland. Fucking amazing.

#living history #this is ridiculous #jar of beads

35 notes · View notes

keii-starz · 6 months

Note

answer any or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles?

Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it?

What was the last song you listened to?

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side?

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

Do you prefer drawing or writing?

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with?

What’s your favorite band/artist?

When is your birthday?

How tall are you?

What color are your eyes?

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now?

Fears?

What’s your favorite color?

What’s your favorite season?

Want any tattoos? What of?

Want any piercings? Where?

Who is the last person you texted?

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends?

What/who do you miss?

How was your day today?

How much sleep did you get last night?

Do you believe in aliens?

When was the last time you cried? Why?

What’s your favorite decade?

What are some seemingly childish things you like?

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times?

How are you, really?

Does it take you a long time to make decisions?

What are you looking forward to in the near future?

What are you looking forward to in the distant future?

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?

Do you sleep with your door open or closed?

What’s your favorite flower?

Do you currently have a squish?

Do you like your middle name?

Do you prefer dogs or cats?

Do you have any phobias?

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy?

What’s your favorite cartoon?

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many?

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?

Is there anyone you would die for?

What do you need when you’re sad?

Have you memorized your phone number?

Who’s someone you can trust with your life?

What does your last text say?

Wild Card. Any question, ask away.

1. I wish (no) 😔

2. I drink both!!! but I don't drink coffee that often, and when I do, it's only if it has milk and sugar in it! when I drink tea, I usually drink milk tea, or I add milk to my matcha tea, but sometimes I just drink regular tea!

3. DAYDREAM by HIGHLIGHT!!!

4. I sleep on my back, but I actually prefer sleeping on my side!! I just dont sleep on my side most of the time because I sleep with headphones on, and its kinda uncomfortable sleeping on my side with headphones on

5. yes!! my little teddy bear that I got from my bestie!!! I named him lucy

6. hmm I love both a lot, but I'd say drawing!

7. ummm it doesn't really matter for me but I'll say teo because of my blanket I've had since childhood (its too small to cover me now so ofc I have to use another blanket)

8. hmm for band, it'd be LUCY!!! (K-band) I think the violin in their music makes their songs sound even nicer! but my fav part is obv sangyeop's soft voice :3

but for artists in general...hmm there's quite a few, so I'll name them by language! 1. CRAVITY (korean boy group), ZICO (korean soloist, k-hiphop), COLDE (korean soloist, k-r&b), 2. yoh kamiyama (japanese), TUYU (japanese band), 3. jeremy zucker, suggi (english)

9. february 11!

14. sage green!!

15. autumn! not too cold or hot, and not as much bugs!

19. I do! we've been friends since 4th grade!

21. it was great!!! I had so much fun and got to eat a lot of good food!!

24. sometime last week, I think tuesday..I think it had smth to do with my insecurities or like. how I keep getting the feeling I'm not wanted

28. my mental and physical states both suck a ton, but since I've returned home for spring break, im trying to convince myself to not worry about anything and just think of this as a lil vacation just until this is over

31. im definitely looking forward to moving out of my mom's house or just not staying with my family in general...I want to get an apartment where I feel relaxed at when I turn into an adult

32. if I could go anywhere right now...I would probably go to my aunt's house in florida..tbh, I wouldn't say her cooking's (sorry auntie 😔) the best, but I'd probably feel way...calmer? there and less likely to cry so often

34. my favorite flower is the star of bethlehem!!! it's really really pretty!!! im pretty sure it's a poisonous flower tho lol

39. all the time 😊

42. I prefer cloudy days! sunny days are nice, but I don't like getting the sun in my eyes very much, plus the sky is prettier with clouds :3

44. 5 of my fav blogs: @azulashengrottospiano @dove-da-birb @twistwonderlanddevotee @alexisomnias @l7k-a

45. I have 2 siblings! an older brother and younger sister, who is the youngest, but if I didn't tell u this and you met us both irl, you'd probably think shes the older one based on height and personality lol

47. I would die for any of my friends in a heartbeat

48. music!!! I CANNOT go without my music I tell u!!!

49. nope!!! you see, my phone doesn't tell me my phone number, so I always have to ask other people what it is 😐 (my other phone did tho)

50. uhhh hmmm this one is really hard bcuz I don't think I know anyone irl who I can trust with my life but probably...no one..?

#keianswersasks!❥ ҉#cas <3 🦈#I was going to answer it in the morning but I got caught up with a lot of things so im answering this at night 😔

8 notes · View notes

killjoy-prince · 7 months

Note

Do you have any shoujo manga recommendations? I recently read Sasaki and Miyato and realised that I have been severly missing out!

Sure!! Thanks for asking me!

First, in case you haven't read it yet, Sasaki and Miyano has a spinoff that starts six months before the plot of Sasaki and Miyano called Hirano and Kagiura also by Shou Harusono.

This one focuses on Sasaki's friend, Hirano and his new dormmate, Kagiura. I know Sasaki had extra stories with them but the spinoff gave them an actual story. It currently has about 23 chapters and a light novel with the light novel being the first thing that happens chronologically. No anime for it as far as I know. The back of the first volume has a timeline of where events fit (this came out when Sasaki was up to Volume 5)

Speaking of novels, Sasaki and Miyano has two novels, one focusing on the characters' first year and one on their second year. I haven't read them yet so I'm not sure what exactly happens in them but if you can, check them out!

OK, now for other recs!

Wotakoi: Love Is Hard For Otaku by Fujita

This one is really cute! An office worker and otaku named Narumi Momose got dumped by her boyfriend when she got outed as one. Feeling awkward about running into him at work after the bad breakup, she quit her job and got a new one at a different company. This time, she's determined to keep her secret under wraps as to avoid another incident. However, this may prove to be hard when she finds out her childhood friend and fellow otaku Hirotaka Nifuji works at the company and almost outs her on her first day. She meets up with him after work to catch up and when Narumi tells him about her recent breakup, he asks her why not date an otaku. Specifically him. She rejects it at first but when he says he can help her in life, video games and with her booth at Comiket, she agrees.

There are three couples this series focuses on. The second couple knew each other since high school and have been dating for about a decade and work at the company with Narumi and Hirotaka. The third couple is the younger brother of Hirotaka and a gamer who goes to his college. It's a lighthearted comedy about office worker otakus and navigating their relationships. A lot of references to anime, video games, BL, GL, you name it. Like Sasaki, this was a webcomic posted on pixiv so the pacing and layout feel similar, at least to me. There are 11 volumes (6 volumes if you go by the English translation bc they combined two volumes into one for 5 of them and then the last one is by itself). I mainly got into this one bc Hirotaka was aesthetically my type. I remember seeing the first volume cover at kinokuniya when only the Japanese version was out and being like "I need to find out what this series is bc I need to meet him"

Kimi Ni Todoke by Karuho Shiina

This was a series I read when I was in high school. High school freshman Sawako Kuronuma has been feared and misunderstood by her peers all her life due to her appearance. It was so bad that her classmates call her Sadako since she looks like the character from The Ring. She had resigned to her fate of never making a friend until popular boy Kazehaya starts talking to her. The more time he spends talking to her, the more her world opens up and she starts making friends and experience things she hadn't been able to before this point. As they spend more time together, love blossoms between the two characters.

There are 30 volumes and 38 episodes. I read up to volume 18 and then stopped because that was the most recent volume at the time and I kinda forgot about by the time more volumes came out. But that was my fault not the manga because this series is really really cute!! A term I've coined for myself when I read this was whenever Kazehaya and Sawako were being cute together, I'd exclaimed "THESE ADORABLE LITTLE FUCKS!!" because they are so adorable to each other. The friends Sawako makes are really cool and fun in their own right. If you want some really cute, tooth rotting sweetness, I recommend this series.

Princess Jellyfish by Akiko Higashimura

Tsukimi Kurashita is a jellyfish fanatic that lives in Amamizukan, a woman only apartment building that houses other woman with their own fixations. They are considered NEETS and have a strict rule of no men allowed in their living space. Tsukimi's love for jellyfish came from going to a jellyfish aquarium with her mom before she died of an illness when Tsukimi was a kid. She goes to a pet shop regularly to visit a spotted jellyfish she's taken a fancy to that she named Kurara. When she sees that the employees put a moon jellyfish in the same tank, she fears for its life as the moon jellyfish will kill Kurara if not taken care of. However, her fear of talking to normal people lead to a misunderstanding with the employee until a stylish person comes to her rescue and they take Kurara back to Amamizukan. The next morning, Tsukimi finds out the stylish person she brought back to her home is an illegitimate son of a politician and cross-dresser named Kuranosuke Koibuchi.

There are 84 chapters and 11 episodes of this series. I read up to about chapter 74 before stopping for the same reason I did for Kimi Ni Todoke. It's a really fun time. The characters are funny and sweet, the situations are entertaining, it's just a fun o' time. And the art is really pretty!!

Skip and Loafer by Misaki Takamatsu

Mitsumi Iwakura moved from her small town on the outskirt of Ishikawa Prefecture to Tokyo to start high school. However, she gets lost going to school on the first day due to the culture shock and seems at a loss at what to do. That's when she meets Sosuke Shima who was late to school himself and travels with her to school. The series follows Mitsumi as she experiences school life in the city and meets lots of new people and makes friends with Sosuke along for the ride.

There's currently about 59 chapters and 12 episodes of this series. I started reading it when the anime was announced and I had a fun time reading it. I really enjoyed Mitsumi and seeing her learn and broaden her horizons as she goes to school and hang out with Sosuke and everyone else. It's a nice story!

Given by Natsuki Kizu

High school student Uenoyama Ritsuka is a guitarist in a instrumental only band with college students Akihiko Kaji and Haruki Nakayama. When going to his usual hiding spot for lunch, he finds Mafuyu Sato sleeping with a guitar with broken strings in his arms. Uenoyama offers to fix it and when he does and plays a note, Sato begs him to teach him how to play. Uenoyama is reluctant but gives in when Sato persists. After spending some time together, Uenoyama finds out that Sato has a beautiful singing voice and invites him to join his band.

There are 9 volumes, 11 episodes and a movie, with another movie on the way. The series focuses on three relationships. The first is the relationship between Uenoyama and Sato, the second between Akihiko and Haruki and the third between Sato's childhood friends Hiiragi and Shizusumi. The art is really pretty and the characters are so good!! I really enjoyed the story a lot! My favorite character is Hiiragi and I can't wait for the next movie to come out because they're gonna cover his story then and I wanna hear him sing!! (Also his seiyuu is Fumiya Imai AKA seiyuu for Akito Shinonome so double reason why I wanna hear it) Also, Imma use this as an excuse to post a page I really wanna see animated bc I can hear it so clearly in my head.

Bloom Into You by Nakatani Nio

Yuu Koito, lover of shoujo manga, always dreamed of being confessed to and experience that heart pounding feeling she sees happen in her books. However, when she's confessed to by a guy in middle school, she feels nothing and rejects him. Now starting high school, she's left confused on what her lack of feeling means. When she sees the student council president Touko Nanami turn down a boy, she asks her for help with her situation. But when Nanami confesses her love to Koito, will she feel that spark she's being hoping for? There's 8 volumes, 13 episodes and 3 light novels starring a side character. I'm up to volume 6 of this one and I'm really enjoying it!! The story is engaging, the charatcers are interesting. I like that Yuu isn't a pushover, she's a bit snarky and doesn't let Touko push her around. And I like how Touko comes off as a competent student council president but she has a more vulnerable side that she only shows Yuu. They pair nicely with each other.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun by Izumi Tsubaki

OK I know you know this one already but this wouldn't be a rec list made by me if I didn't include it. This is my favorite series ever. It's mecore. Me-coded. Me. Second year high schooler Chiyo Sakura finally gets the courage to confess her love to Umetarou Nozaki, a guy in her grade. However, she messes up the confession and says she's his biggest fan instead of "I like you". Nozaki, in response, gives her his autograph and then invites her to his house. She accepts but once they get there, he has her do inking on a manga he makes. Turns out, Nozaki is a manga artist under the pen name Sakiko Yumeno and he's had his eye on Sakura for a while because he wanted to bring her onto his team as an inker. She agrees to join so she can get closer to him.

There's currently 14 volumes, 12 episodes and an OVA split into six 5-mintue parts. This series has me dying of laughter with every chapter. The characters are fun, the story is fun, it's just a fun time! There are three main couples with some side couples and duos that get their own time in the spotlight as well. The main ones are Sakura and Nozaki, Sakura's friend Yuzuki Seo and Nozaki's screentone assistant and first year Hirotaka Wakamatsu, and Nozaki's background artist and third year theater club president Masayuki Hori and "Prince of the Drama Club" Yuu Kashima. Other characters like Mikoto "Mikorin" Mikoshiba, Mayu Nozaki, Yukari Miyako, Ken Miyamae, and Mitsuya Maeno all bring their own brand of fun to the table. This series made me laugh so much I couldn't read it in class to slack off because I'd laugh out loud and disrupt class. I've yet to read another series that made me do that. I cannot recommend this series enough. Please read AND watch it if you have not already. Nozaki is starting to gain awarness. I lose my mind whenever I see it happen. I wanna see it happen. It's been 13 years!

Imma put an honorable mention here because I haven't read or watch it yet but I've heard Horimiya written by HERO and illustrated by Daisuke Hagiwara is really good. I wanted to but just haven't gotten around to it yet.

That's all I have for right now! If you've already read/watched all of these already, lmk and I'll list some more!! Hope you enjoy! ^_^

#prince's ask tag #i might have lost the plot a bit but hopefully this was helpful lolol

9 notes · View notes

19thperson · 3 months

Text

19th's June 2024 Steam Next Fest Impressions - Day 4

Day 0/Day 1/Day 2/Day 3

Leximan

youtube

You are a wizard with word magic in a shitty wizard school.

In the overworld, that translates to typing out random words to get various effects. In battle, word fragments bounce around the screen, and you have to form a word with whatever you get to handle the situation.

As per it being a comedy game, my experience was making the wrong choices on purpose to see what happens. There doesn't seem to be any actual damage system, so it's just do whatever until you progress.

At it's height it is the best of early homestuck or problem slueth, laughing at the absurd consequences of an obtuse system. At its worst, the jokes feel incredibly forced. It's a land of contrast.

Biggest complaint is that I wish you could redo fights. I often found myself ending one early and wanting to see the other outcomes.

Mind Over Magnet

youtube

After years of telling people how making videos game works, youtubesman Game Makers Toolkit made a video game. A puzzle platformer about being a robbit and throwing your magnet friend around.

From the demo alone, it is... entirely cromulent.

It has puzzles that are puzzles. It's movement is smoothment. Nothing surprising, nothing disappointing.

It is a video game equivalent of a bowl of really good cereal or oatmeal with some effort put into it, with fruit chunks and everything. It's perfectly filling and enjoyable, and then you go about the rest of your day.

49 Keys

Apparently, this is an adaptation of a well received italian puzzle book.

It plays like an attempt to mix the classic text adventure style and the modern adventure game style. Most everything is text description with sparse illustrations, but interaction is done by dragging inventory items onto relevant paragraphs.

The plot is that you are a dominican priest or some other church official. Your teacher had not only been into church stuff but also astrology and occult stuff and would teach whoever had an ear. Church didn't like that, but he came from a wealthy family, so the best they could do is exile him to an island to continue his studies in peace and not corrupt the other clergymen.

On his deathbed, he sends the player a letter saying "hey I'm about to kick the bucket, I got a project I need finished, and I only trust you to do that." Which judging from the art and descriptions is some Lovecraft shit.

Unfortunately, the demo never gets to the lovecraft shit, ending right when you find a way to enter his house. While it didn't clock as "Scary" yet, they've got the historical fiction voice down, nailing the balance of antiquated sounding speech while still being easily legible. And they've got a good UI to add to that atmosphere.

Of course, the hot demon lady color spreads on the steam page kinda clash with that.

Curiosity piqued but expectations reserved.

Raining City: Millions Recollection

youtube

Gotta admit, I recognize it's sort of an unfair expectation, but after being burned by multiple chinese VN demos in previous next fests, it's nice to see one that's been translated to competent english. Not perfect, still has some pronoun switching, name inconsistencies, and some weird phrasing sprinkled throughout, but it was a naturalistic reading experience. I could consistently follow what was meant without much effort.

This is a supernatural mystery thriller. Lu Xuan is a member of a secretive group called "The Agency." She returns from a mission, expecting to relax, only for a mysterious lapse in memory to occur. When she wakes up, she's covered in blood, and there's a pure black hole in her hand. thin black lines wriggle out, spelling "100,000,000."

Before she can figure out what's going on, she's attacked by a creature that seems half dessicated corpse and half withering tree. After it rips off her arm, it regrows, with a few million dropping from her hand number. Thus starts her descent into the supernatural, as the new supposed "wealthiest woman in the world."

From the first two chapters the game has given, it's set up a lot of threads at once. The hand hole, the agency, a mysterious pawn shop, an unusual beached whale incident, the implication of a cult/religious group, multiple characters having simultaneous gaps in memory.

The cast feels well varied in both design and character voice, and I really like what the character designer is doing. I am guessing the backgrounds are based on photos because there's a nice sense of lived-in detail for a lot of them.

Definitely going on my wishlist.

#19th's steam next fest impressions #Youtube

4 notes · View notes

certfieddilusional · 1 year

Text

It would kill you to try? Part. 3 Javier Peña x Female reader

pairing: Javier Peña x Female reader

summary: after that unpredictable expedition you were forced to do to save Javier’s ass. You three phase the consequences for that. And he makes you a little visit to apologize.

chapter content/warning: swearing (like always), mention of prostitution, alcohol.

english is not my first language so, sorry if you find any typos. ups!

—

“There’s going to be a little change of plans” stated Messina sitting on her chair.

Javier clenched his jaw and touched his mustache nervously. Both him and Murphy were called to Messina’s office to have a little talk about the previos situation. They didn’t have a clue of how the hell the DEA found out about their little expedition. But anything related to Pablo Escobar was known sooner or later in this country. Also his bruises and the black eye that was starting to heal could’ve gave it away easily. Murphy was as tense as he was. Even though they were used to being scolded, they both knew this one was a tricky one. But he couldn’t stop wondering one thing the entire time, why weren’t you in the room.

“Where’s Gomez?” he asked beforehand.

“Well, Peña, I was about to cover that part but before anything. Could you explain why you decided, like always, take matters into you own hands, risking not only your work partners lives but their work positions” Messina asked rhetorically, crossing her arms and looking at the man with a threatening stare.

The room went silent and Murphy focused his eyes on the floor. Meanwhile, Javier played with his tongue inside of his mouth.

“I was trying to prevent that from happening by doing it myself.” he started in a calm tone “I guess it didn’t go as planned.”

Murphy shifted in his seat, covering his mouth in an attempt to not laugh at his stupid response. He knew that something Peña was not good at were apologies.

“And don’t you think maybe, you could’ve prevent all of that by simply thinking before acting by impulse?” insisted Messina.

“Well sometimes there’s no time to think, boss” he finally answered seriously “I apologize for everything that caused. But I had no other choice.”

Messina looked at him with anger. Real anger. She wasn’t able to understand how irresponsable they both could be, but at the same time, she didn’t trust other people to handle their positions as much as she trusted them.

“Uh, can I say something?” interrupted Murphy holding up his hand “I also want to apologize. He called me, just me. But I was the one who reached for Carrillo and Gomez instead of informing the office. So if you have to blame someone for putting people at risks, that’s gotta be me.”

Unlike Javier, Murphy was actually kinda used to apologizing. He was also terrified of losing this job.

“Don’t worry, Murphy. There are consequences for you too.” informed him the woman standing from her seat “Now, onto the good part. I want you, Murphy, to focus on office work for the rest of the week. I don’t want you taking a step out of this walls to do anything related with Pablo Escobar or the Medellin cartel. If you do, you’ll get instantly fired. Am I making myself clear?” she stated demanding, looking directly at Murphy.

The blonde agreed immediately.

“Yes, m’am.”

“Peña” she directed towards the brunette who was waiting for his sentence “since you are so interested on knowing Gomez’s location, you must know she’s taking a couple of days off.”

Both Murphy and him looked at each other with a mix of confusion and concern.

“She wants to clear her mind about her work situation. She’s also recovering from the stress of the past events.”

This time, Javier was the one to focus his stare on the wooden floor.

“And I want you to do the same. You’re taking a week off.”

“Excuse me?” asked the man outraged.

“I don’t want you near the office or close to anything work related” she quickly explained “If I do, I won’t hesitate to send you back to Texas and I’ll make sure nobody hires you as an agent, at least not when it comes to the territory of The Unitet States.”

Shit was getting real this time.

“With all my respects, Messina, don’t you think you’re going too far with this? Keeping me away from this office, two agents at the same time? Did she asked you to do this?”

It was clear to him now. You were the one who gave her the whole information about that night. He should’ve seen it coming. The way you talked to him. How you left the hospital room, looking at him like the biggest rock in your shoe. But it was also clear to him that even if he knew sooner, he probably wouldn’t have been able to stop you

Messina ignored his accusations completely.

“Look at the bright side, Peña. I think this might be good for you, it would clear your head and it would give you time to heal those wounds properly” she went back to her seat “…and who knows, maybe after this you’ll get what you always wanted. You might ended up working alone.” She finished in a dry tone.

It was true. He had always wanted that. It wasn’t easy for him to trust somebody else with his job, even when it came to Murphy joining him back in the day. He just wasn’t good at co-working, relaying on someone else’s opinion. But the fact that you might’ve requested changing partners, scar him in a different way. Specially cause he was actually getting used to having you and Murphy by his side. It made him remembered your words. I respected you, I thought it was mutual. He grew fond of you in some way, since the very first day he saw you cry with your mom on the phone. He tried really hard to make things easier from you. To keep you save in some way. He failed at that too.

“I also don’t want you calling her.” she advised like she was capable of reading his mind “She specifically asked to not know anything from you till further notice. Take your time to yourself. Am I making myself clear, Peña?”

He agreed with his head.

“Good. You two can leave now.”

Finally outside of the office, Javier pull out a box of cigarettes from the inside of his jacket and lighted one taking a quick puff.

“Well that was nice” commented Murphy in a sigh, rejecting Peña offering him a cigarette.

“How is she?” Javier asked out of nowhere “Have you talked to her?

Murphy instantly knew he was talking about you.

“She’s pissed but, she’ll be okay” he reassured him “She’s not the first person you pissed off” he joked.

“I really didn’t want to” he confessed in almost a whisper.

Murphy patted his back kindly.

“I know, man. But I think you should really listen to Messina for once, okay. Take your time, don’t do anything stupid.”

He looked back at the blonde.

“And don’t try to explain that to her.” he advised the brunette “She won’t listen.”

—

And you sure didn’t have the energy to. Your mom calling you was the only thing keeping you out of your bed and keeping Peña out of your mind. Not for long, because for some reason she kept asking how everything was, if you were actually as okay as you try to play it off. Maybe it was the fact that it was a Tuesday and you were home instead of at the office. The day after that, maybe too intense and uncalled for night, you three try to play it off at the office like nothing had happened. Like Peña’s bruises weren’t an actual thing, despise the perpetual stares of horror from half of his fan club of women and the babbling of the men. Like your inability to focus on anything and your lack of sense was just a result of poor sleep or like Murphy almost finishing two packs of cigarettes was just the common thing. You were surprised nobody asked anything. Nobody let out even a simple joke. And even after all, things just stayed the same. It didn’t matter if any of you actually felt the same. So when your lunch break came and you left the place in search of some freedom from all of that act you were pulling, you found Messina having a coffee in the nearest café you were directing yourself to, and you couldn’t helped it.

“Gomez, are you okay?”

She invited you to seat with her and ordered a glass of fresh water for you. You seemed pale and about to cry. And so you did. You cried and told her everything. Like you cried on your first day with your mom on the phone. You dropped the act. And even at that moment something inside of you hoped deeply, that Javier could forgive you for it.

“¿Y cómo te está yendo con los chicos? ¿son guapos?” (how’s it going with the boys? are they cute?)

“Mom, please” you replied embarrassed, covering your face while washing your cup of tea on the sink.

“I guess it’s better if you don’t tell, you know what your dad thinks about you possibly marrying a cop.” She replied in a jokingly way.

“Well, dad often forgets I am a cop. Y a parte, ¿matrimonio? ustedes me tienen mucha fé” (and besides, marriage? you have so much faith in me).

“Somos de la vieja escuela, mi amor” she laughed through the phone. And you couldn’t help but miss hearing that laugh live.

A knock on the door shocked you completely out of your nostalgic state. And you were quick to put the phone down on the table to grab your gun from the drawer next to your bed.

“Honey?” you heard your mom through the phone while you tried to figure out who could possibly be.

You didn’t have any friends in Colombia yet, and the postman had already pass by this morning. You grabbed the phone again in a attempt to ignore the person behind your door.

“Yeah?”

Another knock. This time with one hand on the gun and the other on the phone, you approached the door slowly. Careful to make the least amount of sound, just to be able to hear something that indicated who the heck was the stranger that kept insisting to make you paranoid.

“¿Pasa algo?” your mom sounded concerned about you lack of response.

“I know you’re in there, Gomez” suddenly Peña’s deep voice ruined the mystery completely.

Hiding your gun inside of you back pocket, you opened the door to a -full on dress in a suit- Peña. With his glasses hanging from the collar of his white shirt and one hand resting on his hip while the other one was on the door frame.

For fucks sake. Didn’t he get the message from Messina?

“Mamá me tengo que ir, te llamo mañana en la mañana ¿sí?” you hanged the phone before your mom could ask any more questions “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“¿Le hablas de mí a tú mamá?” (Do you talk to your mom about me?) he suddenly asked mocking your spanish, a slight grin adorning his face.

“No sabe ni que existes, Peña” (She doesn’t even know you exists).

That caused him to grab his chest with one hand, faking the pain.

“I guess that’s better, moms don’t usually like me.”

“I wonder why” you replied in a dry tone, blocking the entrance.

That gave him time to inspect you better. He was so dressed up compare to you, and to him it was a little shocking seeing you in just some ripped shorts and a t-shirt. Clean face, showing the tiredness of your eyes and the posible left trace of tears in your cheeks from this morning. It made his heart sink a little, you looked so tiny in front of him. But in some way he find it cute. You looked cute as you.

“Look if you’re here to scold me for being a snitch, I don’t care.” you started looking into his eyes while shaking your head “I really don’t care about anything you have to say besid-…”

“Did you asked Messina to change partners?”

The sudden question took you by surprise, did he really just came here to ask you that?

“Umm…”

“Can I come in?” he asked again without even letting you find an answer to his previous questions.

Javier Peña, the man who almost didn’t even think to approach you at the office weeks ago, not only lectured you about your fears, put your life at risks and created your ever first conflict with someone at work, but also was there, at your house. Sitting down in your kitchen, drinking whiskey and lighting up a cigarette. Just talking and actually being concerned about you? If somebody would’ve told you a month ago, this would be your situation, you would’ve laugh at their face. And freak out, probably. You couldn’t deny, he had his ways. It’s not like you shared the same sentiment all those girls he hooked up with and the ones who wished for it, did at work. But you could slightly understand the hype. He had a way with words and after a couple glasses and some smokes, it almost felt like you weren’t mad at him anymore. You talked in Spanish, English, joked about Murphy and those pricks at the office.

“I just simply don’t understand, he’s been what? how many months in Colombia and he doesn’t know shit in Spanish?” you commented between tipsy laughs about Murphy’s situation “I just feel like….” you took a sip from your beer “at this point, it’s just deeply disrespectful.”

You both laughed and Javier watched you as tears f try to scape your eyes. You looked slightly flushed, relaxed. You didn’t really liked whiskey, you preferred beer. And he wondered how someone could still look elegant while drinking beer straight from the bottle.

“And still you prefer him over me.”

He noticed. They way you two talked to each other. Your little jokes. Steve made you feel more comfortable in your shoes than he did. This was the closest he’s ever gotten to share a moment with you without the drama. And alcohol had to be involved.

“Well I’m sorry, you scare me a little.” You replied, taking another sip. Sober Y/n would’ve never said that to his face.

“And why is that?” he asked with a grin.

“I don’t know, it’s all this” you said shaking your hands up and down his figure “It’s your aura.”

“My aura” he repeated mocking your tone.

“It’s like you’re constantly trying to intimidate people” you explained “You just have in you. Some people like it and some others, like me who just don’t have it at all, run from it.”

He kept silence for a while, taking another puff from his cigarette. He looked like someone out of a movie. You really liked his mustache. It suited his face.

“You looked pretty intimidating to me when you decided to enter that building by yourself” he finally stated finishing the cigarette and dropping the ash in the ashtray.

He remembered you. Holding the gun towards him, fierce expression in your eyes. You looked powerful. In other circumstances he would’ve find that kind of sexy.

“I wasn’t by myself, I was with Carrillo” you corrected, stealing a cigarette from his package over the table.

“But still, you lead, didn’t you?” you shrugged “Or at the hospital, you can’t deny that one.”

You felt kind of embarrassed recalling that.

“Shit. I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s fine, you’re good at pissing people off, we have that in common.”

You giggled at that.

“And…about the hookers.”

“You really do not have to explain anything to me” you anticipated.

But he insisted.

“It’s true” both of your faces fell a little “I used to frequent those places. But I don’t do that anymore.” He finished his whiskey, almost as a way of gaining energy.

“Well then you should tell the girls, they’re really interested to know, they’ll been asking me a concerning amount of questions about your sentimental status” you joked trying to brush the tension off.

“The girls? Really? Just the girls?”

“Yes” you answered raising up your eyebrows “And most of the time…I don’t know what to tell them, they’re gonna start thinking we’re fucking or something.”

He laughed. He really didn’t care about the girls.

“That’ll be fine for me. I don’t know about you.”

You rolled your eyes and he laughed again.

A brief silence grew between the both. Absorbing the moment, you spoke again.

“I just wanna make sure that you’re a good man, Javier” he was a little taken back about you saying his name, with the perfect tone, perfect pronunciation “Because just a couple days ago, I kinda thought you were.”

For the first time he didn’t look away.

“You always manage to leave me speechless, Gomez” he admitted with a side smile that fade away once he seriously answered “I’d also like you to believe that. But I’m not perfect. I had my ways to deal with that in the past.”

“You don’t have to go back to that.”

It was easy said than done. But he thought, maybe he’ll try.

“Thank you for being there” he said instead “Saving my ass and shit.”

“It’s duty. Just talk to the girls.” you insisted taking his glass and your bottles out of the table.

“I really wouldn’t mind if they think we’re fucking.”

“Okay, you can go now.”

tags: @nightlockcornucopia @jasminedragoon

#javier peña x female reader #javier peña x y/n #javier peña fic #javier peña x reader #javier peña imagine #javier peña #javier pena fic

29 notes · View notes

yesimwriting · 2 years

Text

upcoming scream fics (+ summaries) bc i really wanted to finish one today but my lot essay took up most of today and now i’m kinda bummed lol:

(these aren’t in any particular order)

1. Final Girl Chapter 5 - Just as Y/n’s trying to figure some personal thoughts out, Stu and Billy blow her off for a party that’s basically couples only. Lucky for her, a boy from her English class asks her out and Gloria left behind some cute going out outfits. What could go wrong?

2. Request drabble/fic - Y/n has her little rituals and small moments with Billy and Stu, even if her boys are making her mad lol. Basically a bunch of barely connection cute moments that take over the course of the weekend. A pinch of toxicity bc what do you expect, but pretty cute if i do say so myself (pretty close to being done actually!!)

3. Hair dye fic - Billy and Stu stop by to see Y/n, but she’s covered in red/pink dye that looks so much like blood. It gives the two some ideas 👀 lol

4. Y/n is assigned to work on a project with a boy that’s known for playing girls. Y/n seems oblivious, Billy and Stu do a bit of date stalking lmao

honorable mention:

more of an underdeveloped idea bc i haven’t written anything for it,, i was just thinning about it. I think an ‘on the run’ fic could be fun, would probably stray from canon a bit more than usual and Y/n would have to become really chill about a lot of stuff quickly lol,, but like being alone together,, everyone’s emotions are heightened,, billy and stu are having a moment bc she really did pick them

#billy loomis #stu macher #billy loomis x reader #stu macher x reader #scream 1996 #update #ghostface x reader #scream x reader #poly! ghost face x reader

94 notes · View notes

a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire · 6 months

Text

auggggggh ive been wanting to make this post for an eternity but i havent been able to because I keep trying to explain myself WELL guess what. Im giving up, heres the song Wenn ich tanzen will from Elisabeth: das Musical with english translations, does it not make you think of what if Feysand was interesting

youtube

If you dont wanna watch the whole thing for some reason, I'd like to highlight this part

Fly!

I'll fly alone!

I alone want to accompany you through night and storm

I don't want to be accompanied anymore

Not even by you — I won't let myself be led

You're free only through me

Only through me

Only for me

For me!

For you shall make the way for me

I'm going my own way now

I've seperated myself from you — Leave me alone!

You've fallen in love with me

Because there's no freedom without me

And no one can understand you except for me!

Oh and also this part (theyre kinda singing over each other at this point)

I'm strong enough on my own!

You were only strong as long as you still thought that you were weak

I'm not calling for you!

You will call for me!

I'm not seeking you out!

You will seek me out!

I'm beginning to love my life!

Soon you will hate it!

Okay, I actually lied at the start of this post, I am gonna try to explain myself. My ideal not-boring version of Feysand that I think of when I listen to this song is like. Okay so, the structure of the story is fundamentally the same (except it takes place over a wayyyy longer timespan) with Feyre initially just kinda going about her new life as a traumatized fae and Rhysand coming to pick her up once a month, which ends up helping her because the SC manorhouse is kind of just covered in a bunch of depressing ooze rn (figuratively) and she cant really leave and Rhysand is basically giving her an excuse to hang out in a place without ooze, so its easier for her to have a good time. Rhysand is kinda awkward around her initially because hes basically like "ohhhhhh shit oh fuck, the woman that I tortured UTM as a fucked up way of coping with what Amarantha was doing to is my soulmate!!" because i really hate the fact that Rhysand apparently already knew about her and dreamt about her before she was even fae, it shouldve snapped in place for both of them during that little scene at the end of ACOTAR but Feyre has no concept of how a mating bond is supposed to feel like so shes just kinda like "huh, that felt kinda weird. anyway"

(this inexplicably got very long. like, 6 more paragraphs long. so much for me not explaining myself)

So yeah, Rhysand is hardcore struggling trying to figure out how to win her over despite all of the torture, but fortunately for him all she wants is to be left alone, so he does that, no putting her in unecessary danger and no asking insane favors of her even though theyve only been hanging out for like two weeks. Idrk how, but at some point they would start to get closer, this all happens very slowly, its a true slow-burn. And then one day Tamlin is like "I cant stand it, I need to find a way to break this bargain" so he collects a bunch of guys and he tells Feyre that theyre gonna go out and travel through all of Prythian and maybe even beyond in order to find a way to do it and itll probably take them atleast a few months. And then when Feyre says she wants to come along because this is about her after all, hes like "no, its dangerous and also, if Im gone then the Spring Court is gonna needs its Lady" and then he puts the shield around the manor because yeah, Im keeping Tamlin shitty in this one, sorry. This is about me trying to make Feysand good but trying to figure that out with Tamlin being in-character is too complicated for me rn so Im just gonna stick to the character assassination (thats something SJM probably also said while writing ACOMAF)

So yeah, like in canon, Mor gets her outta there and then Feyre starts permanently staying the night court except shes not going out on political errands because of the war with Hybern because honestly, this whole war plot is so stupid and it feels so unecessary like cmon Sarah girlie, I can tell youre not actually interested in writing politics, just stick to the romance and the healing journey. Anyway, during her stay she inadvertantly starts spending more time with Rhysand and realizing that he suffered too and that hes only human or fae or something like that, which helps her deal with her UTM trauma because she kinda thought of him as the embodiment of all her new trauma, so seeing that hes really not that and that hes just a person that she can make peace with helps her

Rhys is falling head over heels for Feyre because she just reminds him SO much of Cassian while Feyre is kinda conflicted but starting to develop some affection for him, and again, this happens over the course of many many months instead of just two. And after all that time, Feyre is starting feel pretty good and she doesnt really wanna go back to the spring court if shes totally honest with herself and then oops, Tamlin's back! He finds her and hes super worried like "oh my cauldron, feyre, my servants told me he just kidnapped you and they couldnt find a way to free you!! but Im here now and Im taking you back home dont worry" and Feyre feels guilty and shes basically like "yeahhhhh this was totally necessary, I definitely wanna go back... home, its just that he exploited this loophole in the bargain so had to stay here. Totally against my will, oh no it was so bad" and Tamlin tells her not to worry, theyve found a way to break they just need to get back to the spring court so they do that

At the Spring Court, Feyre gets to thinking. She thinks shes basically completely defeated her trauma by hanging out with Rhysand and shes like "well, my trauma was pretty much the main thing that made mine and Tamlins relationship not work, so now that my trauma is gone its gonna be all smooth sailing from here" and she just willfully ignores the fact that his way of coping with his UTM trauma was suffocating her and making it impossible to deal with her own issues and when she pointed it out to him he had a panic attack about it. Also, at this point it kinda hits her that shes been spending all this time with Tamlins enemy and feeling this affection for him that she hasnt really felt for Tamlin ever since theyve been back from UTM and their relationship started getting really bad, so now she feels very guilty and wants to rush into a marriage with him after all. Also, maybe by this point shes revovered enough to take a step back and start focusing on her surroundings again instead of just herself, and she realises that the people of the Spring Court would really need this kind of big celebration after this long time of turmoil and suffering, so maybe that plays into her decision to marry Tamlin as well idk

Meanwhile, Rhysand is back at the night court absolutely CONVINCED that Feyre is gonna come back to him even without the bargain or atleast send him a message or something, because of the mating bond and because by this point he thinks that Feyre loves him back, she just hasnt said it because Tamlin interrupted them or whatever. Yknow, because Feyre stopped throwing shoes at him and started to tolerate his presence somewhat, which are obviously the surefire signs that someone is in love with you. But anyway, Feyre never does get back to him because shes busy with her wedding and also trying very hard not think about either Rhysand or Tamlin too much so she doesnt simply run out into the forest to avoid dealing with all this bullshit

So yeah, Rhysand finds out about Feyre marrying Tamlin and he gets very upset and so he winnows to the Spring Court on the day of the wedding. Feyre has just been dressed up in this gorgeous pastel pink and green pantssuit (thats very important for the story) and now Ianthe is leaving her alone for a bit before the grand wedding ceremony. At this point Rhysand comes in and they have a confrontation thats basically just the song except in dialogue-form, remember when this post was about a song I really like, yeah me neither. During this confrontation I really want Rhysand to bring up the mating bond and kinda throw it in her face and I want Feyre to basically respond "oh, so now the guy who always preached about giving me choices and not letting others decide for me is gonna get on my case for not doing what some god wants from me, gtfo" and thats basically how it ends. Then the next book is the book where Feyre hay to make the choice between Tamlin and Rhysand because its a romance series at the end of the day, so even though I would like the last book to just be Feyre ending up single and going on her own adventures, I recognize that thats not a great ending for a romance series so

I wanna end this off by saying that I was trying to only focus on the romance for this because its easier, if I were to write my ideal acotar sequel it would look different than this even if I used the original acomaf as a base. So yeah, thats it hope you enjoyed my 7am ramblings, I have been awake for three hours already writing this

#miscellaneous acotar thoughts #acotar rewrite #anti acomaf #Youtube

2 notes · View notes

sakuplumeria · 10 months

Note

Hello, I am using my main account since I can't ask questions with my sideblog. Thank you again for the questions choices, they were all awesome: 2), 4), 8), 17), 32), 38), 46), 52), 61), 67), 73)

Thank you for the ask!! Interesting choices~

2) A character in Saiyuki that grew on you

I always like Goku. I don't know why I liked him when I was little, but the more I know his story the more I like him. I'm quite sad when people see him like a child, he sees so much more than it seems. I'm thrilled to see how sensei developed his character, specially in Even a Worm arc, and how sensei drew him much more mature in Blast. Not only Sanzo, but he's like the sun to me too :3 There are many characters that grew on me as I spent more time with Saiyuki, Sanzo, Koumyo, Tenkai, Jikaku, Gat…

4) Favorite member of Kougaiji’s group

Is Zakuro part of his group? Yeah? No? Then Instructor Wang it is. I'm… oddly attracted to eccentric old men lmao.

8) Which character do you really dislike?

This is a hard question, I never really dislike a character as they all have their background stories… If I have to choose though, Li Touten, probably, for using Nataku like that :/

17) How long have you enjoyed Saiyuki?

I watched Reload and Reload Gunlock on TV when I was in elementary school, and you know they used sensei's art for the ending songs? I was so captivated that I searched for the manga. That's the first time I really worked myself to search for something. I just realized it's been around 20 years… omg

32) Do you enjoy writing/drawing/creating fan works for the Saiyuki fandom?

Absolutely! I write and draw and make covers, also translating the songs to English. I used many websites and you can see them here. I wish I have the energy to create more… at least to finish the ones I started..

38) Do you binge read the entire series or read selected chapters?

Sometimes I binge read, sometimes I read selected chapters. Mostly I read selected chapters when I'm in the mood!

46) If [character] died, what do you think they’d be reborn as?

Since you didn't give me the character, I'll go with Goku for the next two questions. By the way, I don't think Goku will die soon, I headcanon him aging very slowly… I wrote a fanfic about this, where Goku lives in the modern world lol. But anyway, I kinda imagine him reborn as a celestial being, much like Jeep, with powers and big responsibility for the world. A dragon maybe? I never thought about this before actually so I just type whatever pops up in my head lol

52) What are 3 tropes that describe [character]?

Amnesiac Hero :(

Innocent but Powerful

Bottomless Pit, as they always say

61) Do you seek out spoilers or avoid at all cost?

I don't mind spoilers, sometimes it helps me to get into the story better.

67) What’s something you think would improve the series?

Remake all the animated versions, with quality. Let's say, by Platinum Vision, the one who produces Reload Blast. Honestly, I like Saiyuki so much, but I don't rewatch it that much, besides Burial, because of the quality of the animes… It's also the reason why it's so hard to tell my friends about Saiyuki. People tend to watch rather than read, but I don't really want people to watch Saiyuki with the quality they have now. So yeah…

73) What character is still a mystery to you?

I wanna say Koumyo but well, I'm more interested in Tenkai and Taruchie. They're the ones with connection, connecting Ibun, which I see as the oldest story of Saiyuki on earth, and Blast, which will be the ending of it. Even though they're not the center of the plot, I believe they took an important part in it. That also brings me to Sai Tai Sai... but I guess we'll find out about Sai in the future. I hope to see Tenkai and Taruchie lore as well :3

#thank you for the ask!#saiyuki

6 notes · View notes

katierosefun · 2 years

Note

I'll just go ahead and reply to that beyond evil anon about Juwon if you don't mind, you don't have to post this if you don't want.

"In his desperation to catch the killer in order to prove himself..."

See this is where you're wrong, he didn't want to prove himself, he fucking hated himself for what he did, he wanted to seek justice for Lee Geum Hwa. Do you just conveniently forget his words to Dongsik?

"Even if the whole world forgets her, even if no one comes to claim her body I won't forget her!"

He didn't need to tell him that, mid breakdown no on gives a shit about virtue signaling, his dad isn't there and Dongsik's opinion should be the last thing he cares about, it's just him, being a disaster, trying to make things right however he can. He's young and stupid so yes he makes more mistakes but don't just brush off all his attempts at character development, it kinda sounds like you're projecting on him.

Juwon never denies it when Dongsik accuses him of "killing" Lee Geum Hwa, Dongsik just keeps on pressuring him, scaring him that he'll tell everyone about it, that he'll ruin his life and his father's life, forces Juwon to shoot him to silence him but Juwon never falls for it, he can't physically deny what he did, at least not when he's confronted for it by Dongsik. He's just Good. He's a goddamn messy person but he's a Good person. He has all the power and money to be the evilest bastard out there, doing whatever he wants but he has inner moral code so strong he follows them no matter what.

Yes he gets swayed to cover it up because of how much his father and Hyuk suggest it but be doesn't actually do it. Way before Dongsik's constantly reminding him of what he's done He, Juwon, is trying to atone.

Him coming back even more of an insufferable fool after that 3 months doesn't prove your point that he doesn't change. He did change, he softened up and let Dongsik close, Dongsik then betrayed his trust which resulted to him acting like a dumbass which caused more of a mess. No one is denying his wrongs here. The disagreement is on his guilt and remorse being genuine. It's just not fake, he continues to hate himself even more after what happens to Nam Sang Bae, he's the one who pulls his dead body out of the cold waters dude do you think he's faking to himself about how sad and guilty he feels?

He keeps mentioning that he's at fault to manyang people to get them to hate him or cuss him out but they just don't, they don't want that for him to be trapped in that cycle of self hate and guilt, because they see how he really, truly, is feeling.

"This is why to me, his expressions of guilt and remorse feel a bit like virtue signaling, esp. as he’s probably aware he’s unlikely to be punished, and this is what I find annoying (although also a bit saddening, as this virtue signaling is apparently unconscious and an attempt to convince HIMSELF of his goodness, which shows just how much his upbringing has messed him up)."

He hates himself!!! He doesn't want to prove to himself that he's a good person, he in fact Believes he's a Bad person. And your whole thing about "as he’s probably aware he’s unlikely to be punished" just comes out of the blue, like it's a clear projection on your part that nothing in the narrative and his character arc points to it. That's a sentence I would believe about Han Kihwan, not Han Juwon.

"I don't trust you, I don't trust Han Kiwan, I don't even trust myself"

Does this sound like virtue signaling? To who?? It doesn't even make sense and I'm not sorry to say it.

And just a side note

Virtue signaling: the action or practice of publicly expressing opinions or sentiments intended to demonstrate one's good character or the moral correctness of one's position on a particular issue.

So no, it's not Han Juwon.

(my ex English literature ass and current law student ass jumped out I'm sorry @ Caroline)

no mineh you are literally so right for this, and thank you for taking the time to write this out. i'd literally just woken up when i got that anon, and given that this person had been really . . . trying to take up my inbox the last few days, i really think i just burned tf out (also, as a fellow ex english lit ass + current law student who's currently writing memos and putting together outlines for final exams that identify fact patterns/issues to defend hypothetical clients , , , i could feel myself just getting very impatient and just like. "bro are u seriously asking me to defend joo won for the 3rd time this week buddy bestie come on we've been over this already")

so. that said. yes, thank you so much for bringing all this up and coming out with all the facts, because genuinely, i know that there are a lot more important things to worry about than like, the interpretation of a character (def Fandom Old for me to say that it's fine for people to dislike characters), but like. man, i would hope that if you dislike a character, you would also at least get the facts correct, y'know? for someone to completely, blatantly ignore joo won's actions and to read them in such a . . . narrow light irked me to say the least. i have now had some coffee and also the boost of literally every single beyond evil fan on twitter yelling about media literacy, so. i think i have some more energy to go off your very insightful points and evidence:

so yes, you're totally right--and i'd also bring up the fact that joo won quietly, privately checks up on lee geum hwa's body down at the morgue. he tries to get her buried/have a real funeral, but then he's told by the mortician that he can't, because only family members are allowed, and joo won doesn't qualify as a family member. i don't think someone who doesn't care/isn't remorseful would go so far as to quite literally check on her body and try to give lee geum hwa that much peace, even after her death.

and also, yes. virtue signaling, thank you for providing the correct definition. virtue signaling is the thing that celebrities and your annoying racist ex-high school classmate will do when sharing a bunch of infographics about #black lives matter on their instagram story, while still turning around and still endorsing racist politicians or something. virtue signaling looks like people clapping their hands and making a huge ruckus about "LOOK HOW GOOD A PERSON I AM, LOOK AT HOW GOOD A PERSON I AM" while deep down doing nothing. at its core, virtue signaling is all about performance, and i think what bothers me the most is to really look at joo won's actions and go "lol he was being so performative" when, in actuality, that was never the case. every single time he was planning with dong sik had always been in private. he tried so hard to never take the credit either (and the fact that he asked to be suspended and was literally planning to step down from the police, only to have dong sik tell him to stay) really goes to show how non-performative joo won is. (it's also worth noting that like. joo won is still just an inspector when he comes around to manyang in the next year. with his credentials, it's pretty easy to think that people would have wanted to promote him, but i'm willing to bet that joo won had turned down any promotions because he didn't want that attention or that potential of moving to seoul, where he wouldn't be completing dong sik's assigned mission for him (finding lost people)).

anyways, thank you for your remarks. i do think i tend to be mostly zen when it comes to beyond evil comments and general disagreements when it comes to fandom, but i was disheartened to find those sorts of comments in my inbox this morning lol (maybe doubly so because today marks 10 years of fandom for me, personally, so there was definitely some irony in waking up and being like "omg i've done this for 10 years", only to be hit with "oh my god i've been doing this for 10 years and people still think it's cool to make me feel annoyed at 8 in the morning, jesus christ").

but in any case: thank you for the remarks!

#answered #beyond evil

23 notes · View notes

erigold13261 · 2 years

Note

B2J, especially Mayday really remind me of songs Rewrite by Asian Kungfu Generation and Zankyo Sakka by Aimer! Since both songs are in Japanese, I recommend you listen to the English covers! (Caleb Hyles Cover for Rewrite, and mewsic cover for Zankyo Sanka)

The WHOLE song Rewrite and the lines

No matter how hard, I will never stray

I will choose my heart, not whatever you say

I'll follow the light of the dream that I drew, I know I'll find a way

I didn't come so far and cry so hard to run away, it's time to go!

And even if I won't be chosen, I will choose myself

For Zankyo Sanka! Sorry for the long ask! Hope you have a great morning/day/evening!

Yoooo! Those songs are so good! Putting my analysis under a read more. It gets pretty long lol

Rewrite:

Okay I can definitely see how Rewrite makes you think of Mayday. It actually makes me think of some kind of standoff between Mayday and Tatiana. Tatiana rewriting the past and May rewriting what the future holds.

Like that first stanza of lyric really fits Mayday:

The reason I want to spit out these sentiments, Is I have no other proof I even exist My future that I thought I’d managed to grasp, Is a contradiction of all I thought that I had

They really just feel like May trying to make a mark for herself, saying what's on her mind and creating her own future because she wants to be remembered, she want to make proof that she exists in this world.

The next stanza is a lot more Tatiana:

The reason I want this old image erased Is I see my limits and I’m out of place In the window of my own self consciousness I see last year’s calendar with no dates on it

And it shows how Tatiana turned her back on her past, shut out everything and erased what once was because she wasn't who she needed to be.

Now I, I rewrite All these worthless visions And I’ll be unforgettable Come to life, and rewrite All my bad ideas I will make them disappear before your eyes

This stanza above goes back to Mayday with some Tatiana in it. They are both rewriting what they think is worthless. Mayday rewrites to become recognizable, give herself life and purpose, to keep going into a future she wants to forge herself. While Tatiana is rewriting to get rid of her past mistakes, making a future she thinks will learn from what she has done. But her rewriting only erases what she has done so people don't learn. They forget. Not what Mayday wants, which is to be remembered and for people to learn from her.

I cut off all my youthful feelings year after year After all they don’t mean much, they’ll soon disappear This rotten heart These filthy lies

And finally this last stanza (before the Japanese part which I will try to analyze thanks to someone's lyrics in the comment) is basically all Tatiana. She cut away her past, she threw them away and made them disappear. However, Tatiana never saw herself as the villain until Mayday came along, so I think those last two lines are Mayday talking/thinking about Tatiana and how she is a liar with a filthy heart because May has no idea of Tatiana's past because of the rewriting and erasing that has gone on.

Keshite riraitoshite / Erase and rewrite Kudaranai chougensou / the pointless ultra-fantasy Wasurarenu sonzaikan o / and the unforgettable sense of existence

Putting the last two stanza together (I was going to but I actually split it to make it easier to read). But these both again are about Tatiana and Mayday. It kinda feels like it is at the time of their battle, but slightly before and after, like a pendulum swinging between two moments in time from different perspectives.

The before fights scenes would be the"erase" part of the song, where both Tatiana and Mayday are trying to erase each other's fantasies and "unforgettable... existence."

May wants to wake Tatiana up from this complacent place that Tati is in where she thinks everything is fine when it's obviously not. To shatter Tatiana's existence and make her realize no matter what she does to erase the past, it won't be truly forgotten with how much influence Tatiana has.

Tatiana on the other hand wants to snap May out of this fantasy that rock is the answer to everything, make May realize that she is not qualified to rule Vinyl City because of her short-sightedness. Tatiana wants to erase May's influence on the city, on the world, and on herself, but the influence that May has caused already is never going to be undone, the problems of the city and Tatiana are now seen by everyone.

After the fight though, that is where the "rewrite" part comes in. Together they rewrite not a fantasy, but a future. A future they all thought was a pointless fantasy until after the revolution made it real. They are rewriting their existence from the past back into the narrative while also writing their future together so that it will be unforgettable.

Kishikaisei / Like rising from the grave Riraitoshite / Rewrite Imi no nai souzou mo kimi o nasu gendouryoku / the meaningless imagination that is also the force that drives you Zenshin zenrei o kure yo / Give it your whole body and soul

This last stanza feels like Tatiana's speech at the end of the game. She is looking back on the events that happened. She sees how Mayday rose from the grave of Rock, how she rewrote history. Not only that, but even though the word "meaningless" is used here, I can see Tatiana also saying May's dreams and imagination are "meaningless" but in a good way.

May doesn't have true meaning behind her thoughts a lot of the time. She is impulsive and reckless, but she has an imagination and morals that guide her. To Tatiana, these feels kinda meaningless, but she knows they mean so much to Mayday to the point that they are her driving force and what was used to stop NSR and bring a brighter future.

If anything, Tatiana calls it "meaningless" BECAUSE these are the same things that drove her when she was younger. The only difference is, that Mayday gave her body and soul to her imagination while Tatiana didn't. Mayday was able to do and to continue what Tatiana wasn't able to. So even though Tatiana might personally think it is meaningless, she knows that it is what is going to let Mayday write her own future and create and unforgettable existence.

Zankyou Sanka:

You know what, even though you gave me lines to specifically look at, I am going to also talk about this whole song because it literally sounds like Mayday and Zuke fighting against NSR. Maybe not entirely in order but definitely most of the cast (So get ready for more analysis!)

A flower slowly bloomed right here Glowing with red and spreading love around And with the moon shining high up above, they melt the harrowing colours away

So obviously with this first stanza it feels more like it is about Yinu. Yinu full of love, mainly from Mama spreading it. It is a nice and welcoming sight that NSR likes to promote to people. A workplace that a little girl can happily play piano and spread her happiness, love, and passion is something many people would love to have.

I was going to say the second half reminds me of DJSS, but that was just because they mentioned the moon. It actually feels more like the moon is acting like a spotlight onto B2J as they are at the Lights Up audition. Being on stage in the moonlight (stage light) melt away the harrowing colors, which would be the anxiety and stress that B2J felt before starting their audition. Once they started they no longer felt anxious as they let the music flow through them.

Rolling with the wind, stumbling again But each time I fall, I grow stronger and then I will embrace all the light and the pain, the anger deep inside Because if I won't be the chosen one, I'll choose myself

Okay, this stanza is DEFINITELY about B2J. The two just going with the flow a lot of the time but stumbling every so often. Especially if they get hit in the fight/level. However, they get stronger and more determined as they go on, even if they get hit. The two take that pain and push through to the end where they... get rejected.

They are embraced by red lights, but pain, by anger. They weren't chosen, Tatiana full on disrespected the two. And to Mayday, if she isn't going to be chosen by the elites, she will choose herself and show them what she can truly do. To make them regret ever rejecting her and Zuke as they will take that pain and anger and only grow stronger than NSR can handle.

I will shout and let my voice roar throughout the darkest of nights I'll wipe my tears to find the light Letting the sound ring and reverberate past everything in sight

And here is May's freakout before the blackout. I can see her crying and screaming at the pain she feels. So angry and bitter at NSR. Making a new song in her head to call them out for their shitty behaviour and treatment to smaller artists. She becomes an echo chamber for her own thoughts as she convinces Zuke to help her bring back light to the city. They both come together, looking past everything in their way to focus on the light they want to find.

Even if I'm not sure quite yet what every sound really means, or who I want to hear me sing No matter if I am scared or in pain No matter how long the struggle will take I'll let my song ring out loud!

This stanza feels like something that goes on in both of their heads as they fight their way through everything. They don't really know who they are fighting for. Yes they say they are fighting for the little guys, but they are also fighting for themselves in a selfish manner. They are fighting on behalf of Kliff without even knowing it. They are fighting for freedom in their heads but also potentially a worse future of control as they could go down the exact same path Tatiana did and make Rock the only genre.

But they fight still. Through the pain, through the struggles, they let their song be heard. Their voices echo with the voices of everyone who likes rock, of everyone who hates EDM, of everyone who sees the flaws that NSR has. This song rings out loud and becomes heard by the masses, boosting May and Zuke further into their fight for the light.

And even in a thousand nights, a single one is all you truly need As all the colours then reveal themselves, the scent of crimson covers it all

This would be the fight with DJSS. Out of all the hundreds of nights that the Lights Up audition has happened, out of all the years NSR has been running, all it took was this one night for the blood to hit the water and the course of history to change. A colorful glimmer of hope shines through the glass soon to be shattered as B2J defeat their first boss, showing that they are stronger.

No matter how hard, I will never stray I will choose my heart, not whatever you say I'll follow the light of the dream that I drew, I know I'll find a way I didn't come so far and cry so hard to run away, it's time to go!

This stanza kinda feels like Sayu's battle. May already is following her heart, she isn't straying from the path just because of Sayu's words. Zuke on the other hand, because even though he is in this 100% with May, his heart isn't fully in it, that is why Sayu is able to through him off his game for a moment with the "follow your heart Zuke" line.

And May snaps him out of it. She didn't come all this way, infiltrate the internet/Sayu's level, just to be stopped by a silly comment about following her heart. She IS following her heart! She's not going to run away, it's time to go!

And even if I won't be chosen, I will choose myself

And again, their resolve to beat NSR is once again bolstered as they defeat another artist. May doesn't waver in her choice for herself.

I will shout and wither my voice, and break through all of the dark A burning flower lights a spark Here in this world that feels hopeless and vague, my song will leave a mark

Now this stanza I at first only say Yinu and Mama, but looking at it a bit longer I can also see Neon in it (not so much 1010) and a bit of Eve.

Overall, it feels a lot like Yinu's stanza right now. She is fighting her own battle through the dark, just like May, but her world is hopeless and vague at times. The only thing keeping her going is her mom and her piano. They both leave marks on her that help her through the dark.

And Mayday destroys that. She lights that flower on fire. She makes Yinu feel hopeless again. And in turn, May is left with a mark from her actions. That song Yinu and Mama play at the end leaves a mark on B2J to think about what they've done. They just made the world hopeless for a little girl. They don't know how to truly feel about all of this anymore and are wondering if they are doing the right thing.

Lighting that flower on fire lit a spark though. It brought out 1010 and Neon's fight, especially Neon's. He's seen how dark and hopeless the world can be. He's broken through the dark into the light. His voice reaches out as he shouts commands and sings, even if it has been withered from war and injuries, he still can leave his own mark.

And as he is defeated, feeling that hopeless, vague feeling he never thought he'd feel again. That is when he marks B2J. He asks them what are they fighting for. He demands to know what they have planned. He is back in the dark while May and Zuke leave him there, in the ashes that they made from their fire.

As they make it to Eve, someone who still feels hopeless and vague, someone who is trying to shout her voice out and break through the dark, only for her shouts to wither away and not be heard, she takes the mark that Zuke left on her and uses it as a spark for their fight.

I'll count every single night so I can paint every morning I'll scream out my voice, so hear me sing No matter if I regret everything No matter how high the limits will swing I'll drown it all out, and shout!

As Eve's fight continues in this next stanza, we see how is trying her hardest to reach out to someone. Pleading for people to hear her, anyone. She is counting her nights, she is painting her mornings, she can't just live because no one is there to help her, no one is there to hear her.

She shouts out, and thankfully Zuke is able to finally hear her and that allows her to hear beyond her own shouts. She is able to see the paintings of mornings she made finally and appreciate the work she has gone through.

The rest of the stanza can also be seen as May and Tatiana's big fight. No matter if May regrets her actions or how high she swung at NSR, she still pushes through as she thinks she is right. She thinks having her shouts be heard will be the correct thing to fix the problems. She drowns out all her regrets and thoughts, trying to get through the fight.

And she does. But instead of continuing to drown things out, she stops and hears Tatiana. Here's the screams of the past, of the satellite, of all her regrets coming up to hit her in the face.

She chooses to help NSR. She is no longer going to choose herself, because she sees all pain, suffering, and mistakes she has caused to people. But she also doesn't push the pain and regrets away.

After she helps NSR against the satellite, everything is drowned out by her shouts and tears as she is finally chosen by NSR, and she is able to reject them because she wants to choose freedom and growth.

#nsr #no straight roads #nsr mayday #nsr tatiana #nsr zuke #song analysis #eritalks #noart #asks #this took a lot longer than i intended #so these song analysis asks will probably be done sparingly #since i have to listen to the song itself #and then basically write an essay #lol #but it was SO MUCH FUN!#i loved this #gonna add these two songs to my music selection

6 notes · View notes

heroin-antiheroine · 2 years

Note

So I've smoked heroin and I use fentynal also blues and other opiates but I've fully already made up my mind about wanting to start shooting up heroin also. I understand the risks and all that and it's been hard to find anyone willing to kinda give me tips on what to expect and how to cook it and safety tips while slamming it. Do you have any advice and any methods or tips you'd recommend (other then not slamming it ) please

sure, i have no desire to talk anyone out of slamming bc i'd be a hypocrite anyway. your mind's made up, may as well do it safely. this is gonna be long btw, i have a lot of advice & harm reduction is something i'm passionate about. sorry if this is a bit late btw. i don’t check tumblr mega often. but i reckon it will help someone even if you found advice elsewhere.

list of things you need to bang up: gear (obv lol), sterile needles (you can get completes or detachables), sterile spoons, alcohol swabs, filters or cotton, citric acid/vit c if you’re using european/no.3 heroin (& i think black tar, however it would be best to ask someone who uses that), clean water (cold tap water is fine. they say boiled & cooled is the best but i just use clean cold tap water. bottled water is less good), a lighter (to cook), paper towel (to press on the wound after injecting), a plaster (to cover the wound).

here are some extra things that i use: milligram scales (so i can ensure a safe dosage every time), magazine (to use as a clean surface), hand sanitiser (washing your hands is best but you may be unable to do that), clean scissors (to cut the filter, don’t rip them), a mini portable heater (heat brings out your veins), another glass of water (to drink to bring out your veins. i drink out of a pink cup & use a blue cap to bang up with, so i don’t confuse them), a pack of sweets (sometimes you need to eat sugar to get a hit lol).

just a disclaimer: i’m english so i get european/no.3 heroin. this differs to american ecp/no.4 in that you have to cook it with citric acid/vit c. here are my step by step instructions to banging up: get clean water in both cups, weigh out my portion of heroin in a sterile spoon, unwrap a sterile needle, use that to get 3 units of water from the cup, pour into the spoon. then i add the vit c & cook it until it’s mostly dissolved with some brown bits floating on top (those brown bits are the cuts. the gear normally looks like piss lol). if you’re using ecp you won’t need to cook it. you will with tar though (edit: not necessarily actually, see the comments on this post). then get a filter, cut it widthways or don’t at all. i dunk mine in water to preserve as much gear as possible (otherwise it just eats it). drop it in the spoon, then use a needle to suck it up through the top.

then you’re ready to bang up. i sit in front of a heater & drink the pink cup water to make my veins pop out. you can find a vein by pressing lightly on your skin. they feel kinda springy. since you’re a new user, you’ll probably be able to see some. don’t slap it, that can make it retract. i use my nails as a marker to know where to inject (like stabbing myself with my nail either side of the vein). you’re supposed to insert the needle at ~30 degree angle. you probably won’t know what that looks like, i don’t, but i have this trick for finding it. position the needle at a 90 degree angle perpendicular to your vein. then halve it by moving the needle down. now you have a 45 degree angle. now you need to take a 3rd off & then you’ll have ~30 degree angle. this doesn’t always work but it’s certainly very helpful.

insert the needle FACING TOWARDS the heart. this is always the case unless you’re banging up in your neck or something, which i highly do not advise. for your arms, legs etc, the needle should be facing upward. i have never banged up in my shoulders etc & i wouldn’t. your arms will be fine for now. you want to learn how to hold the needle with one hand & become ambidextrous with it. i might include a pic after this with me holding it. i basically pinch my thumb & ring fingers together around the syringe. i use my index & middle fingers to hold the plunger & pull back then my index finger to press down. i use my little finger to stabilise the syringe.

when i’m injecting in my feet/legs etc, i still only use 1 hand. i have seen people use both...i have no idea why. it just gets messy. you want to be an anchor. you want to insert the needle slowly & then after injecting, pull it out extremely slowly at exactly the same angle you inserted it. otherwise you will bruise. i use my right hand to inject in my feet & my left hand to pull the skin to stabilise the vein. then after i inject anywhere, i immediately grab paper towel & press down hard on the wound for multiple minutes. then i cover it with a plaster.

i’m not sure if you’re female like me, but it can be hard to get a vein. women naturally have more fat & different types of fat than men. my arms are pretty thin but i still have fat in certain areas & it means the veins can roll. i often get around this by pressing my arms into my legs to hold them in place. some areas (like the backs of your arms) are extremely difficult to get & i don’t recommend them at first (i still struggle after 5 years of daily banging up). if you have a friend or partner that uses, you can ask them to hold the skin in place. don’t let them bang up for you though...their technique could be dangerous or harmful. & also, if you always let them do it & you get addicted, they might be out & you won’t be able to get well. you should learn to do it yourself in a safe way if you’re gonna do it.

avoiding arteries: once again, this can depend on body type. they say the arteries are much deeper, but i can see them on my skin. they can really catch you out. i’m not gonna tell you about different types/colours of blood bc it can vary by person & by vein/artery. however what i notice about arteries is the blood shoots up the side of the needle extremely fast. if you try injecting, you’ll feel a bit of pressure. this is telling you to stop. if you still continue, you’ll most likely feel an awful electric saw style pain. it is like a shock to the system. if you feel this, immediately take the needle out & press down with paper towel on the site. it should be fine, but if it doesn’t stop bleeding, seek medical attention. HOWEVER not all arteries are painful. i have made this mistake. 2 of mine on each forearm are not. this just means no matter where you are, inject slowly. you will feel the gear. if you do not, you’ll see the site start to blister. hopefully this can save you a trip to a&e.

missing: sometimes you’ll slip out of a vein & you’ll miss. you’ll feel pain, it’ll be a sort of blunt pain not like an electric saw. pull back again...oh woops you’re out. DON’T dig around trying to find it again. that can rly hurt your veins. just pull back & try somewhere else. if you get it again on the way back, you can try again. just don’t dig. if you miss, you might see a lump under your skin. if you’re only using gear, not crack/coke, you’ll be fine. put a plaster & hot compress on it. take care of it & use a medicated cream. if you’re snow/speedballing, you’re at risk of an abcess. i can’t help you too much there bc i’ve never snowballed.

using with someone else: you should have separate everything! do not share water, spoons, filters, swabs, definitely not needles. colour coded needles are very useful but if your needle exchange doesn’t do them, then you can mark them with pen or sit in different areas of the room. sit in the same room/area just so you can be ready with naloxone if you need it. naloxone should be given out through any needle exchange. you can get injection ones & nasal spray ones. they have instructions with them & you should go through a small training thing in order to use it.

finally, needle gauges. i use 29g all over. it’s the smallest complete they offer. this is bc i have small veins. men may use 27g, which is a slightly larger gauge (the numbers go backwards). at our needle exchange, they don’t make detachables smaller than 27g. so i don’t use detachables. you’ll wanna go with 27 or 29 for arm veins, or 29 or 30/31 (if they do them) for hands & feet. apparently you should use a different longer needle for your femoral vein. i do not use it so i can’t tell you which one it is & i highly recommend not using your femoral. i’ve known people that have lost legs from hitting the artery there.

be safe, be clean, be careful. it’s kinda my motto. i’ve been banging up for 5 years, never had an abcess, infection or overdose (touch wood lol). do it yourself so you can do it right. & just don’t be an idiot & bang up with flavoured water or crack rocks that have been in gauze or use lemon juice instead of vit c (can make you go blind) or share needles. these are all things ppl i know do. i feel like you have to go out of your way to be unsafe. but i feel for you if you don’t have a good needle exchange near you. i would advise not banging up at all if this is the case.

#i think i've got everything? this is rly long lol. i may edit if i think of other things #harm reduction #slamming advice #junkie ramblings

11 notes · View notes