#i know hes guilt tripping me into apologizing but i am NOT going to do that. fuck off

[giverofempathy]

I hate men !!!!!!!

[suguru-getos]

| Yandere Gojo Satoru x F!Reader | Axphyxiation |

A/N: The yandere in me has risen from the dead. Read this at your own discretion, Satoru is a manipulative, dangerous, abusive asshole here. Mentions of guilt-tripping, dub-con (doesn’t happen but mentions), belittling, comforting, gentle-talking.

Normally, on a normal day, you’d have the right to be livid, to scream out and throw a tantrum over Satoru’s antics whenever you wanted. It would usually go unnoticed, even catered to if he’s feeling nice. Not today…

“Being a little too bratty are we, Princess?” There was a greyish hue of rage in his sky blues. All, because of you. He would make sure you realize it. You’d cower in fear of him in times like these, breaking down into choking sobs and mumbling apologies for pissing off the ‘Honored one’.

“I swear, I didn’t—” You tried to defend yourself, before the glass window behind you cracked, breaking into shatters as you flinched. A reminder to not piss off Gojo Satoru right now. Your heart raced at the situation you were in. Kneeling in front of him like a guilty prisoner, not daring to look up. Anxiety being the only thing hugging you right now.

“Why did you think it would be nice to ask for Megumi’s phone?” Satoru spoke… almost dazed, still controlling the immense rage that he felt. At times like these, you, a mere non-sorcerer feels a pang of pressure in the atmosphere. As if it was hard to exist, as if it was hard to breathe. It was Satoru’s cursed energy going haywire.

“I wan-wanted to ask for, something.” You were slowly getting broken by this. Yes, you had asked Megumi to give his phone to you, a pathetic attempt to contact your friends. You couldn’t risk contacting your family or Satoru’s rage would pave way in a direction you’d dread more. You just missed them… you aren’t delusional enough to think they had the chance to rescue you after all.

“Ask for what, hmm?” Satoru tilted your chin up, your eyes meeting his harsh, unforgiving ones. He looked dramatically betrayed at your antics, while a choked sigh escaped you. “Just- just missed my friends, Toru.” You had been carefully calibrating this reply. Squeeze his nickname in with the truth. There— that’d make him… less dramatic. Or, that’s what you prayed & hoped for.

“Just- missed my friends, Toru.” He mocked you, mimicking your tone and his hand rested onto your neck, slightly choking. A grim reminder of what he can do to you but chooses not to. Tears well up in your eyes as you looked at him, silently praying for this to end.

“Am I not enough?” His voice rose, almost tediously high. You closed your eyes, bracing yourself for what’s to come. “Please- Satoru.”

“I asked you a question, cupcake.” He chided you, as if he is shutting a brat up who was hell bent on throwing a tantrum. “I asked you something and I need an answer.”

You had to be really, really careful with this one. You mumbled, hands shivery and jittery. There have been times he’s locked you up, just so you miss him. Maybe decided to use your cunt with his fingers just so you’d embarrass yourself cumming over and over and he could taunt you for being a needy slut for him. You didn’t want that… “You are important.”

Your answer squinted Satoru’s eyes, thin ice….

“You are, enough. You are a friend to me, too. S’ just that sometimes I wish to know how they’re doin’ that’s it.” You were internally panicking. Satoru didn’t do anything to you until now but it was the ‘what he could do’ that made you nervous. Satoru wasn’t delusional, he knew you were being calculating and didn’t want to piss him off. However, he was fine as long as you tried to be in his good books. He liked feeling important.

“I see, then should’a just asked Daddy, eh?” He quirked a brow, another question for you to duck.

You decided to accept your mistake like his ‘good little girl’ nodding and looking down, looking oh-so-cute with the guilt laced on your features. “Sorry, Daddy.”

Oh it warms his heart up when his Princess tries to be good for him. Tries to win his heart & suppress his rage. “My baby’s apologetic?” He cooed, kissing your forehead softly, while you nodded like a bobble-head; almost reflexively.

“I see, I see… what’s my baby gonna do to make it up to Daddy?” A smug grin plastered over his features. You were so naive he had you exactly where he wanted you to be. Expressions all knowing & dreading the impending doom, you looked up at him and bit your lip. The bile rising in your throat with anxiety.

“Whatever- whatever you want.” You wanted to make this easy on yourself. Better to have him throw words at you and comply. Satoru… was more twisted than that. “Nuh uh… gonna have to see what you would do on your own to make it up to me.”

You bit your lip, knowing exactly the answer he wanted. “Daddy can make love to me.” You uttered brilliantly, his eyes growing more tender. Satoru never, ever, forced himself on you. It was somehow, you, always begging, crying apologetically even— tormented in situations which hugged you like spiderwebs, with no escape wherein you’d do nothing more than to surrender. That’s what Gojo Satoru does…

“Oh really?” He almost scoffed, clicking his tongue. “Daddy’ll make you feel good after you committed a mistake?” He would also make it seem like everything he does is for your pleasure— there are days you believe it, there are days you dread it.

“Sorry.” A stray tear escaped you, it was as if you were being pulled apart with no defenses. “Please, I just— if you want I won’t cum.” Aww— his pathetic, little, dumb, princess.

“Perfect.” Now he has you where he wants.

“Then gonna be my pretty, precious lil cocksleeve yeah?” Satoru asked you once more, feigning the opportunity for you to say no. You nodded, almost gracefully in defeat.

“That’s my good girl.”

[damiansgoodgirll]

HIIIIIII I saw you're Damian and Rhea x reader that you just posted AND I HAVE A IDEA (No rush I'm just sending it so I don't forget)

OKAY SO in the same universe as the previous fic what if backstage on Monday night raw finn starts trying to convince the reader to join the new judgment day (bc he obviously still cares for the kid) like trying to get jd or Dom to guilt trip them or even getting liv Morgan to be buddy buddy since reader had trouble making friends.

But the reader STAYS LOYAL to the terror twins 🖤

running to write this because i love it, here’s part one

the judgment day x reader (platonic) , mention of drew mcintyre

‼️finn being a good manipulator lol, family issues, fear of abandonment, angst, reader feeling insecure, brief mention of suicidal thoughts (sorry it’s a little angst)

don’t break my heart - part 2

you lied if you said that you slept the night right after summerslam. no, you were in your hotel room watching the ceiling over and over, thinking of what was going to happen now. damian and rhea made sure to stay with you a few hours after the show, helping you calm down and making sure that you would eat something.

but they were tired and angry, so you perfectly understood when they waved goodbye and went to their rooms. they needed time to think and to cool off.

5 am and you were up to board on your next flight that didn’t leave until noon. you were living off on caffeine and sugar drinks but you didn’t care. you had no idea what was going to happen on monday night raw because you weren’t supposed to have any matches that night, you knew you would go with rhea and damian but you didn’t know what your future was going to be.

once you landed and you checked in into your new hotel room, you received a text from finn, saying to let him know once you arrived at the arena because he wanted to talk to you.

you drove along with rhea and damian and they both sensed your fear as you kept quiet, “you okay there?” damian asked you.

“uh?” you woke up from your trance.

“dam asked if you were okay, is everything okay y/n?” rhea added turning to face you.

“oh yes, i’m okay, just a lil nervous…” you hated lie to them, you hated lie in general but you couldn’t tell them that you were about to meet with finn. they would probably get mad at you and the last thing you wanted was to have your best friends hating on you too, so you kept it for yourself.

damian kept driving, knowing that eventually you would open up to them when you were ready.

once at the arena you waved them goodbye and went straight to your changing room. rhea told you to get ready in case something happened and if she needed your help so you did as she told you.

you texted finn and told him he could come over if he needed to talk to you so bad and not even 10 minutes later you heard a knock on the door.

“come in…” you screamed and he let himself in.

“hey…”

“hi” you couldn’t deny that the situation was awkward. you stood there for a couple of minutes before he could talk.

“listen…y/n i’m so sorry for everything that happened at summerslam” he apologized to you but you knew he wasn’t sorry at all.

“you lied to me finn…”

“and you lied to damian and rhea because i’m pretty sure they don’t know i’m here” he smirked at you and that look made you sick in the stomach.

“are you here to threaten me? are you to destroy the little family i have left? what do you want finn…i have no time for more bullshit, please” your voice sounded broken and finn hated himself for the way he treated you.

“i know…i’m so sorry for everything and you have to believe me…i’m not sorry for damian or for rhea because i got tired of being their little puppy, dominik too…but i have nothing against you, never have, never wil…i care about you y/n…don’t you remember all the things we shared? all the things we’ve went through?”

and you couldn’t lie to him. you will always remember how kind and patient and caring he has always been with you.

he was the first person you told about your past, even before telling damian and rhea. he was the one who held you while you cried when you told him about your thought of ending your life. he was the one who comforted you and made sure you never felt left out. and he was true when he said you’ve been through a lot because he was always there for you.

but so were damian and rhea so you couldn’t understand why was finn telling you all of that.

“why are you here finn?” you simply asked him, his way of bringing back memories made you feel guilty. seeing how much you depended upon someone made you realize that you probably were better alone than with someone.

“i want you to join us…”

“join who?”

“me…y/n, me, dom, jd and liv…listen, i know you and i know damian and rhea and they will leave you at some point…they are both chasing vengeance and power, they want their titles back, they won’t be with you forever and, i’m sorry to say it but they won’t take care about you forever…you saw the way rhea treated dom or the way damian treated jd…” his words were starting to impress in your head “jd kinda likes you” he chuckled “no, i’m pretty sure he has a crush on you…and listen, liv is really a friendly person, i know you don’t like her right now but i promise you, if you get to know her you will like her more…just give us a chance”

maybe he was right.

maybe you would ended up being alone one day and he was right about that damian and rhea had their own lives apart from you. hell, rhea just got married, maybe she would like to start a family one day…maybe finn was right.

finn always cared about you, he proved it many times so why were you afraid of trusting him?

“i-i…i don’t know finn…” your mind started to overthink. you were feeling overwhelmed and despite you still loved finn, despite you still caring for him, you couldn’t betray damian and rhea.

“listen i-…”

“no finn, you listen to me. how can you expect me to choose between you or them? how-how can you tear this family apart like this? because maybe for you it was nothing but for me…for me it was everything…” tears slowly falling down your face.

finn knew that it was wrong putting you in all of this mess. he knew that no matter what he still would have a space for you in his heart but the idea of choosing them instead of him made him feel useless, like somehow he failed you.

“i can’t choose between you or them because you are the ones who broke this group apart…” more tears falling from your eyes “i-i can’t finn…i can’t” and before he could say anything else, you turned to face the door and quickly left your changing room.

drew noticed you walking down the arena corridors with teary eyes and no matter how many time he called you, your mind couldn’t register any sound or noise. it felt like you couldn’t hear anything except your heart beating in your chest.

i just saw y/n crying and going towards the emergency exit of the arena. finn balor just came out of her changing room. don’t know what happened but she seems overwhelmed, she needs you.

drew texted rhea. he was pretty worried when he saw in what state you were in. he knew that even if he chased you, you probably would have just pushed him away. he knew something about your past and he knew how the other females in the roster would give you “the looks” and honestly he felt for you, he just wanted you to feel welcomed because for him, the wwe was just a big huge family. he knew that you needed time, that’s why he warned rhea.

when she read the text, she felt her heart missing a few beats.

“what?” damian asked a little concerned when he saw the look on her face.

she was still a little shocked “drew texted me…he saw finn leaving y/n’s changing room and he said that when she left she was crying…she’s probably going’s back to the hotel, he said she’s going outside”

that was all damian needed to hear before leaving rhea’s changing room and sprinting over the emergency exit. rhea following behind, making a note to thank drew later.

they both saw you sitting on the emergency stairs and slowly they both approached you.

damian sat in front of you while rhea sat next to you “hey angel…” rhea slowly turned your face towards hers “why are you crying beautiful?”

in that moment you saw it in their eyes.

they cared.

they cared like a family.

rhea was about to cry because she couldn’t stand the idea of seeing you upset.

“finn wanted to talk to me…he, well, he basically offered me a spot to join him alongside with dom, jd and liv…” you said. you feared that they would get mad but rhea’s eyes told you the opposite.

“and what did you say?” damian asked you, gently smiling at you.

“that i can’t…i can’t leave you, i can’t even look him in the eyes, it just hurts too much and i can’t have you hate on me too” you softly spoke.

damian looked at you and saw nothing but pure intentions “y/n…we could never hate you. we know how close you and finn are, and i know it hurts right now so we won’t forbid you to see him again if you want to…”

“but i can’t damian! it doesn’t feel right, it’s not right! i’m not turning my back on you, i would never do that…you guys mean so much for me and i can’t stand the idea of losing you or hate you but…but finn said some things that made me think…”

“what did he say sweetheart?” rhea gently asked.

“well, for instance, rhea you just got married…and i can’t hold you back for the rest of my life just because my head is a fucking mess, you have your life and i don’t want you to feel the need to look after me forever…same goes for you damian, i can’t depend on you for the rest of my life…”

“that’s absolute nonsense y/n” damian said and rhea agreed with him. she was mad with finn for playing those mind tricks with you, knowing exactly that your mind wasn’t in the right place and that you would get negative thoughts very easily.

“listen” damian spoke “we are a family okay? we stay together, now, tomorrow and in ten years okay? just because we have a life outside this company doesn’t mean that you’re not a part of our life outside of it okay? we stay together instead and outside…i love you like you are my own sister, fuck you could be my daughter y/n…” damian joked making you laugh.

“damian’s right” rhea held your hands “we stay together because we care about you, now and in a million years…”

“thank you for everything guys…” you smiled at both at them.

“you don’t have to thank us love…” rhea wiped some of your tears away “now, why don’t you help me getting ready uh? tonight’s gonna be a big night and i want to look perfect” she laughed making you laugh too.

“yup” you smiled and with their help you got up from the uncomfortable stairs.

rhea mentally noted to thank drew and to kick finn’s ass because he made you doubt yourself, and most importantly, he made you cry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

okay so what about part 3 with reader and drew getting to know each other and developing feelings for each other and damian and rhea acting like big parents to reader?

PART 3

[bunniwords]

໑ৎ ׁ ׅ♡ ALIBI 🌀

part xv - masterlist - part xvii xvi. prettiest girl

︶︶ 　 ˚ ᡴꪫ synopsis — you are known for your brain rot anime content on twitter. so much so that you caught the attention of txt’s soobin on his secret stan account and became mutuals. what will become of this new friendship?

bunni speaks — WE BACK and with partial written chapters! i'm not great at writing fluff so bare with me... also i have a bit of writer’s block… so please be kind to me… i’ve wrote this like last week but was really beating myself over it but i decided to just post it…

ONE MONTH.

just one more month before soobin was going to see you in new york. was he ready for it? not exactly. probably far from it actually, but one thing was for sure is that he wanted to see you.

there isn't really a day that goes by without him calling and messaging you. the two of you actually started this thing where you'd each send a series of random photos taken throughout the day while the other was sleeping and it’s not helping him calm down his feelings for you at all. he saved every single one of those photos and put it in an album on his phone to look back at on. he loved imagining you taking each picture with him in mind.

now, this new routine has him developing a bad habit of looking at his phone first thing in the morning. soobin knows he read some sort of article about looking at your phone first thing in the morning isn't really good for you but science didn't account for the feeling of waking up to twenty notifications from the girl you like. waking up to your messages gave soobin profound excitement for the day. his eyes could barely open but his first instinct now was to look at his phone and see what photos you took. his favorites were the ones where you'd take your outfit of the day in your full length mirror in your bedroom or maybe the ones of you posing with your food.

you’ve asked him about his great face reveal and soobin felt bad about not showing his face because you actually asked him a lot about it... to the point where you concluded that he was ugly as a joke. a joke he finds no joy in hearing as he defended his good looks to wits ends.

but you were too deep in your feelings that you were pretty sure you would be okay with however he looked.

i mean, if he was a total predator... you'd definitely reevaluate, but soo was not that. you think.

"are you working from home today?" soo asked you over the voice call.

"yup! i just made breakfast. wanna see?" you asked as you wiggled your bowl in front of the camera.

god, you were so cute.

"let's see. let's see."

"it's just cereal," you laughed, "they had the txt cereal at the store so i grabbed it for funsies since i'm seeing them next month."

"oh, right. haha."

every time txt came up in your conversation, soobin definitely started thinking about revealing the truth and the guilt that came with that. he still isn't sure how you'd react. would you feel betrayed that he didn't tell you? or would you be happy? what if you just leave the restaurant after finding out? or start blackmailing him for having a fan account?

okay, that last thought went a little wild side, because you wouldn't do that. he knows you wouldn't, but his mind definitely wondering about what you’d think about any of this. thinking about you being mad at him and leaving him was probably the worst scenario he could think of. he could already feel someone digging into his chest with a tight grip on his heart from the thought of you hating him.

"damn, okay. i know it wasn't that funny but you could've reacted a little," you joked.

"ha. ha. ha.”

" you’re so annoying…”

soobin laughed with a quick apology and lame excuse saying he was distracted.

you rolled your eyes but accepted his apology anyway. “well, how was your day? you're in japan right?"

yes, txt was doing their japanese comeback before the start of their world tour. but to you, soo was simply on a work trip.

"yeah, i am!"

"how is it?" you said before taking in a spoonful of cereal.

"busy... but fun. my team had a few work events today and i'm so tired," he said.

he was really downplaying his 'work events'. he had a group interview, magazine solo interview, a photoshoot, and to top it all off, there was the music show and fan interaction at the end of the day. he was beyond exhausted but still wanted to talk to you by the end of all of it. although, he didn’t really want to talk to you about work.

"did you want to turn in early? we can always talk in the morning for you," you offered, but you could already hear him grumbling.

"no, just another hour... i couldn’t even talk to you this morning."

oh, were you weak. you weren't going to say no. absolutely, not. you know, he didn’t say that he needed to talk to you everyday, but for him to basically imply that he couldn’t go to bed without talking to you once today almost sent you into a coma.

"oh, uh, yeah, okay, one more hour and then you go to sleep,” you stuttered, thinking you really played that one off.

"right before i forget… japan. did you want anything from here?"

and immediately, your ears perked up.

"oh, yes if i can ask you to look for a few things! i have a list," you bursted out into a fit of giggles from the thought of you being able to get your hands onto anything you got on this anime list.

"you... have a list?" he sounded as if he was judging you.

"hey... it's not as accessible here in america," you pouted, "leave me alone. you want my list or not?"

"give me the list," soobin smiled and you could hear the endearment in his voice.

"also, with all due respect, shut up. i know you got a list. you just wanted to judge me," you fussed.

"hey! that's not true!"

it most definitely was true (to both him having a list and him judging you).

that's alright though because while you were forging your annoyance, you were trying to calm your heart down from imagining this man scouring through the streets of tokyo in search for your most wanted anime merchandise.

TAG LIST: @hoonatic @paegesoobin @lun4kazumii @noraimp @isa942572 @yourenzoo @soobjvn @besciitos @sakiimeo @kumabeom @yyeonzi @bunnisoobin @girlz4jaem @msorriluv @wonderstrucktae @thing89 @dreeener @arep4con-qu3sp @otblous @luvvvash @huethusiasm @starryeyedluv @304files @kang-ulzzang @thisrandombitch @nocturnal-lanturn @bbeomgyucafe @virgo-and-libra @mumeimei @jinostooth @gy0th-yawnzzn @pinkhor1zon @film-sea @daechwitonguetech @jakesbubu @pagetammgyu @hanniemylovelyquokka @s0urcherry @bee-the-loser @sol3chu

[0mysteiarchives]

Heya! May I request a yandere!Firefly "protecting" reader from the big bad Sam? This Stellaron hunter keeps attacking you no matter where you go... but luckily, Firefly is always there to somehow save you while Sam is out of sight.

You don't know what you did to inquire Sam's spite... but all you know is that Firefly is the only chance you have of surviving... Just don't notice the fact that Sam always "attacks" when you're displeasing your savior.

"My Savior." Yandere!Firefly x Reader

"Won't you forgive me? Oh why? Oh why? Can't you see I am your savior?"

a/n: did my best to interpret it as best as i can (didnt understand it at first, but figured it out after :>), and hopefully this satisfies your request !! (i got a bit dry and silly in the end mb anon) this request contains: yandere themes , in a sense? manipulation(guilt tripping) , reader is easily angered and with sass , oh and they can fight :3

Getting into a disagreement with Firefly is the last thing you'd want to do.

You've been trying to lessen the arguments the two of you have been having, yes, but you can't help it sometimes and let your emotions take control.

"Can't you just stay right now? I promise we can talk this out!" She grabbed your wrist with pleading eyes just before you walked out the door. She's been awfully clingy now that your previous argument had ended and you were in no mood to deal with this right now. You shook your head.

"Sorry Firefly, I just need some space right now." You looked at the doorknob as you tried to downplay her request and hopefully get the approval to go.

Unfortunately, you didn't. You felt her grip tighten on your wrist.

"Please! I just want you to stay!" She kept begging you to stay and honestly? It only added to your not-so good mood as you let out a frustrated sigh and forcefully take back your wrist. "I told you, I just need time alone!" You didn't bother hearing what she had to say and quickly left.

.

.

The streets of Penacony were very noisy this time around: laughter, loud chattering, and more rang in your ears. You didn't bother fussing about it and just tried to block it out of your head.

You decided to walk to a more secluded area, however you feel someone watching you from afar..

If this was the first time, you would have been uneasy and nervous. But it's not like it is anymore. At this point, it was a regular thing when you're out all alone.

You stopped walking and pulled out your weapon, turning around to nothing, but you know he's here, just waiting for a time to strike.

"Is this the one time you're willing to talk about the things out or what?" It felt great amusing to taunt this 'enemy' of yours (even if you've never done anything to provoke the Stellaron Hunters), but truthfully your hands were a bit shaky and your grip on your weapon was tight.

You've come to many close encounters of death because of them, sometimes leaving you mildly injured with bruises and burns on your body.

In a blink of an eye, they stood not too far away from you. If appearances can make you feel intimidated, then whoever is in that mech armor is going to be the reason of your death, even with a simple glare.

"Well, at least I know we still won't be on good terms after this..Still don't know what I did to your group though." You sigh and get yourself into a fighting stance, preparing yourself as the hunter lunged towards you.

.

.

.

As expected, you were overpowered.

You staggered onto the floor, trembling as you looked up at the Stellaron Hunter who remained unharmed.

You did manage to dent a bit of the armor though, so that's one achievement before you die.

"Can't believe i'll die before apologizing to Firefly" You hissed at the searing pain throught your body. "I feel bad for lashing out at her now, even if I wasn't in a good mood she didn't deserve that.."

You felt lightheaded, everything started to be a blur in your hands and at this point if you could possibly pass in your sleep, that'd be for the better.

...

Oh wait, you're in Penacony.

..Alright, maybe this wasn't a good time to be joking around, but whatever distracts you from the incoming feeling of what might be a deep sleep. At this, you let yourself fall, tired from the fight.

Last thing you were able to see was the perpetrator leaving you at the scene.

-

"[Name]..please tell me you're alright.." You hear a familiar voice beside you, opening your eyes to also a familiar person.

Firefly.

You tried to embrace her in a tight hug, however your scars say something else. "Ack!-" You hiss and glance at your now bandaged injuries.

"I found you passed out on the floor, I got worried and carried you home.." She spoke as she gently held your hands this time. "I'm sorry..I- I should've went after you and apologized-"

"No!" You cut her off, cupping her cheeks with your bandaged hands. It did make her flinch but she relaxed from your gesture. "I didn't mean to lash out at you! I just..wasn't in the mood...."

You trail off on your words, shaking your head. "All I just mean to say is, i'm sorry. I didn't mean to lash out at you and I'd hate to see you blame yourself for it."

Firefly's gaze softened as she wrapped you in a hug, as you return the gesture. In the end, she nursed you back to good health and you owe her for that.

...

"But..why is it always when you disagree with her, Sam attacks? "

Oh well, you're too tired to think about it right now; and you'd like to avoid ANOTHER fight right now.

[hatchetno1]

hey hatchet!! hope youre doing okay, could i request some angsty romantic headcanons between ticci toby and a gn!reader? maybe like if they argue about toby's behavior and whatnot

hey there darling! i’m actually doing great, and i hope you are too! i absolutely love the sound of this request, so here we fucking go (disclaimer i am not an expert on his MULTITUDE of conditions, which practically make up his whole person atp)

arguments about Toby’s behavior are not uncommon.

Toby was born with multiple diseases and disorders; though he doesn’t know his own past, you figure that if his parents did even a little less for him, he would be way worse off than he is now. in fact, you’re pretty sure this is as good as it could get.

but oh, there are so many things you simply do not love about this man.

his CIPA (congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis) prevents him from feeling pain, and as such he has not felt pain since he was born. as such, completely lacking the concept of pain and never remembering that others are susceptible to it, he is often a little too rough with you, not just in bed. sometimes, he grabs you just a little too hard, and it gets to you.

you know he is as dense as he seems, but just in case, you hope hard that he never realizes you’re slowly becoming distant from him. you simply can’t do it, not with his roughness and lack of reverence on your body.

and oh, this is just scratching the surface of his behavioral issues.

Toby is also diagnosed with BPD (borderline personality disorder). this is what you consider to be the worst part of his behavioral issues.

you had the misfortune of ending up as his favorite person (though in his defense there are not many others around him so his poor mentally ill brain pretty much has no choice).

you talk to the cashier at 7-11 for a millisecond too long? suddenly as you walk out, Toby is gone from where he was waiting for you and when you look back, the cashier’s gone too. but you know somewhere behind the store, the poor cashier’s blood is being spilled.

and even if you need just a small something from his fellow proxies, they’re not immune either.

though, you have to say, you prefer asking a random person instead.

because even though tim and brian may be punished by Toby, you feel like you are the one being punished the hardest.

he’ll give you the cold shoulder and guilt trip you and manipulate you.

it’s to the point you don’t think you know what a normal relationship feels like anymore. are boyfriends supposed to be loving? or are they supposed to scowl at you, go silent and cold the moment they notice you talking to someone else, even if it’s absolutely necessary?

and so you do the only thing you can do to rebel: argue.

you first start out gently, chiding him when he does something he’s not supposed to do. you correct him and explain to him why it’s wrong.

but you’re not sure if it goes through to him at all. you genuinely cannot tell, between his desperate apologies right after and the blatant repetition of his behavior.

for a while, it’d just been the apologies and repetition. though you disliked it, you soon came to realize that it was better than apologies, repetition and THEN arguments, guilt tripping and manipulation.

“why can’t you just love me for who i am? do you not love me after all? i was right all along. you’re desperate to get rid of me.”

and the truth is, you are.

[lazybutsmexy]

NOOO NO NO NO TAKE IT BACK APOLOGY W TEARS RN IM SOBBING CRYING DON'T DO THIS TO ME THIS IS A PERSONAL ATTACK(it was delicious, scrumptious wow i love seeing sadness) MAKE IT BETTER OW OW BRING THEM BACK(it was so good i love your writing eating it up yumyumyum) I crave more of them all being platonic (HURT/COMFORT?!??!) plsplspls begging for crumbs in tears ill do anything

Hmmm... I am a slut for hurt/comfort myself...

Task Force + affectionate reader Pt. 3

Pt. 1 Pt. 2

Warnings: HURT/COMFORT, bit of cursing.

The people who smile the most are often the saddest. The people who share the most love often don't feel any towards themselves.

Or: it's your team's turn to show affection

It was one of those days.

One of those days where you didn't have the energy to care about yourself. You were able to keep up with your little routines around base, somehow. But it was dimmed, a matte finish to what was once all shiny and sparkly.

Because it was one of those days.

You always became like this after taking leave for longer than two days. You'd visit your family during that time - or rather, they would come to you as soon as they realized you were at your place downtown and not the barracks - and bombard you with anything they set their minds to.

No matter how grueling your missions were, your family always managed to make you feel even more drained during leave. Their constant demands and mental games, the guilt-tripping and manipulation, always made you feel as if you were walking on eggshells around them.

Tracking down and dismantling human trafficking rings seemed like a walk in the park compared to dealing with them.

You personally tried your best to keep your personal problems away from your work, greeting everyone around you with the same cheery tone, and going about your little routine with the others as usual.

But they had started to notice how your smile didn't reach your eyes, and how you seemed unable to shake off the frown in your brows.

And to avoid unwanted questions that you were too ashamed to answer, you simply chose to distance yourself.

Price shared a look with Ghost, who stood across the room from him, and he shared the same concern in his eyes as they watched you walk into the debrief room

you sat yourself at the back, whereas you'd usually choose to sit in the middle of your team

they immediately knew what was going to happen, you were about to start isolating yourself.

they were having none of that.

Price had always kept a close eye on the family relations of his team members.

it was a security measure, after all, to make sure that not only they weren't targeted by dangerous people, but also to make sure they were no connected in any way to their missions.

but in your case it was different, he monitored your family to make sure they never stayed close to you for too long.

it seemed it hadn't been enough this time, and he saw your haggard state as the consequence of that failure.

he would definitely fix that

he began talking to both Laswell and his superiors to get you one of the smaller houses within base

even though you were unmarried and didn't have any children, he knew it would be impossible for those pesky family members to get close to your home without permission

your parents had managed to talk your landlord into giving them access to your apartment - that would not happen under Price's watch

he would actually blacklist them if he had the chance to do so

he wouldn't let you know he was trying to get you a house, at first - he didn't want you to feel like a burden

but he was not exactly subtle when he began asking what colors you preferred on your walls, if you minded only having a shower head or if you preferred a bathtub, etc

Soap wasn't subtle at all, oh no

boy got you hooked in a one-arm hug for as long as you'd let him

that could be a few minutes or all day long, he didn't mind one bit

endlessly squeezed and smooched on your hairline whenever he caught you lost in thought

definitely the one to (lovingly) manhandle you into a blanket burrito and snuggle you into his lap to watch movies

surprisingly a great cook, he would go all out and cook you whatever your comfort food was

it didn't matter if it was 3 AM

you would be fed, and you could almost taste the love he poured in it

definitely wore a 'kiss the cook' apron to make you giggle and try to get a smooch from you

Gaz is the king of self care

you would not let your skincare/hair routine go under his watch

he would do it for you if you didn't have the energy to do so

he would just sit you on the toilet and he'd take care of all the steps of your skincare routine

if he didn't have all the steps memorized, he definitely had a bulletpoint list of specific instructions to guide himself

same with your hair - trust this man with your hair, you won't regret it, ever

this man had magic hands for scalp massages fight me if you disagree

if you aren't comfortable being nude in front of him, he would simply put a chair in front of the sink like a makeshift hair wash basin and work like that

if you were comfortable being nude in front of him, he would make it into a full-body wash

after working with your hair, he would scrub your body down

every now and then he would massage your tired muscles while telling you how much he appreciated you as both his teammate and his friend

after shower cuddles were a must

you would very likely doze off in his arms while he held you impossibly close to him

Ghost didn't see himself as a person capable of comforting others

but all doubts flew through the window the moment he saw your downcast gaze and a tired hunch of your shoulders

at this point in time, you had become about 80% of the team's moral incentive

of course he knew it was quite unfair to dump all of that on you, he supposed you would have your down days too

but you were part of a team, and no one fought alone - be it terrorist organizations or their own inner demons

he would work alongside Price to get you a new living place

any person trying to ask you stupid and/or unwanted questions would find themselves at the other end of one of his famous death glares

or at the aim of his fist

when you approached him to pat him on the shoulder like always, pretending that everything was all right, he placed his own hand on your shoulder

he looked into your eyes and spoke to you with such sincerity that you were shaken to the core

"...You know that you are just as deserving of love as everyone else, right?"

moments later, you were clutching his middle, with your face buried in his chest while he hugged you tightly

he didn't mind that his shirt felt a little wetter with your tears

he focused on stroking your hair and rubbing your back, while glaring at anyone who dared to look at you questioningly

he would let you hug him until your arms fell off if that's what you needed

more cuddles!!

...he wouldn't mind it too much either if Soap and Gaz joined in a cuddle pile - he pretended to be annoyed, but he thought it felt nice

imagine how much nicer it would feel for you :)

[liannelara-dracula]

Based on the hcs about how they behave in school, the little beef between Ruki and Reiji got me thinking 🧐

Hcs about they finding out that they like the same girl, but in the end she doesn't really care too much about neither of they and just interacts with them because she's polite? (She doesn't know about this beef between them, neither knows that they both like her and just think they're being friendly or smth)

Like, a girl that is a model student and etc but is very oblivious to their feelings, and is very difficult to impress?

Hi love,

This is a really good idea. I like it, I think it will be fun. Thanks for the idea anon.

-Liannelara

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Prompt

Requests are open

Rules

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Ruki & Reiji like the same Woman (hcs)

They are both trying their damn hardest to gain your attention.

And they not only don’t get along but when you came into the picture, everything was a competition.

Of course, these two wouldn’t make it obvious like Ayato and Kino that they are trying to get your attention or that something is going on between them.

They are very discreet men and can come off a little dry.

Anyways, this all started when you walked into the library to pick out a book, causing them to both look up from their work since they heard a captivating feminine voice asking for the help of a librarian if they had a particular book. She had a delicate scent of perfume on her that only made her more attractive.

She had her half up and half down pinned by a bow in the back, her hairstyle and curled subtlety. She had such elegance and class when she walked and turned.

They were heavily entranced, though unlike Reiji, Ruki made the first move being the book expert that he is. He always had more luck than Reiji and today especially he was reading the same book this girl was asking about, it was his chance to talk to her and give it to her.

As she was aimlessly looking for the book to see if there was an extra copy she was too distracted to notice she had bumped into someone.

She put a hand over her lips as she mouthed an apology not expecting to have invaded someone’s space as she was looking.

“Pardon me, I hadn’t noticed you standing by. I am so sorry.” She’d apologize, almost enough to guilt trip a man with her sweet voice.

“No worries, you were looking for (b/n), right?”

“Oh yes, where did you find it?”

“I was reading it, but you can keep it. I’ve read it before, it’s a good book.”

She stared at him surprised, “But this book is so thick how can you manage to read it through again.”

“I’ve read almost everything on this shelf in my spare time, I’m Ruki.” He’d say

She smiled, “Y/n.”

Reiji is so jealous!

This automatically makes Reiji want to get involved and try to impress her next which he does so in chemistry class.

Reiji will be much more charismatic and it is incredibly compelling seeing he hardly uses this part of himself.

So you can imagine he'd catch the beaker she almost dropped swiftly or caught her in his arms.

I mostly see it that she trips and he catches her, causing them to exchange a fair amount of eye contact before thanking him.

If Ruki is in the same class it means he's going to have to do more than just recommending a book because Reiji got to have her in his arms first.

better get moving Ru

So everyday they get a chance to be around her they try to have her attention and try to win her over in some way and it is just a constant battle.

And both of them know it is competition even if they haven't said it.

Reiji would try to talk about it and bring it up at some point because he wants to be firm with Ruki about him wanting this woman and that he will not lose.

whereas, Ruki will act like he doesn't know what he's talking about.

"I see that you are fond of the student, just as I am." Reiji would say, adjusting his glasses.

Ruki would turn to look at him with a smirk, "I don't know what you mean?"

"Although you may play this off in a stoic manner, I know that Y/n is in your thoughts. Tell me, do you care for her as a woman?"

"Y/n, is just a girl, Reiji. Why are you worked up about a human?"

"Well then, if that's your answer what I will do shall not matter."

"Even if you plan on something, she and I have plans. "

“I suggest you back down.”

“I threat doesn’t stop me from pursuing.”

Features (some they may like)

Pretty dark hair

wide hips

glass skin

bratty attitude

pretty laugh

intelligent

Elegant vocabulary

Reiji

If she is part of the chess club, he wants to have chess matches with her. But since Ruki is good at chess he will participate in matches w her.

In fact, they would play against in each other to see who would ask her out.

Literally, winner gets to ask her out.

If it’s just her and Reiji, he'd prefer that she loses so that she'll repeatedly compete against him since she is probably 2nd in line.

He also loves these matches with you because he locks eye contact with you and gets to talk to you as well.

He invites you to walk with him in the school yard to observe nature and fascinates you with knowledge about the flowers or science of things to which you had no idea about

He starts off with this small talk and soon moves on to deeper talks where you both exchange conversation about things which are more personal.

You flash a compelling smile and a laugh escapes your lips at something being discussed and Reiji, deep down finds himself in awe as this is the first time a woman was beautiful laughing without covering her mouth.

It is a delicate display of beauty which most hide which keeps him interested in pursuing you.

While he is stubborn and trying to convince himself he is merely amused, this is not the case as he is defiantly interested romantically.

Reiji, although he won’t deliberately show nor say it. He wants you all to himself, he doesn’t want you to spend your time with other men.

He’d like it if he were the only man you paid attention to the most.

Becomes frustrated if you speak of Ruki in high regard because he feels challenged.

Truly he's giving his all to have you.

And the more he finds that there is no progress the harder he is going to try.

Due to his high interest he finds many ways for you to be alone with you.

He will eventually get comfortable speaking to you, and even go as far as teasing you.

However, once he founds out the situation is completely one sided he is upset.

Reiji tells himself he simply can move on, but truthfully he doesn't want to.

He wants to change your mind.

If he can't he probably would distance himself gradually and slowly stop talking to you.

Ruki

In the library he likes to move the books that you’ve been looking for up high so that he can grab them for you.

He’ll leave foot notes at the bottom for you.

Some questions and messages being suggestive to you as well.

Sometimes she’d write back in them and exchange in the conversation.

Loves to also hand you the book so that your hands touch.

He loves to surprise you at your locker and chat with you to get Reiji jealous since Reiji doesn’t have the talent to just casually speak with you.

Won’t show what he is bothered/jealous when Reiji comes around.

Has invited you over for dinner at his place, which is definitely one up on Reiji. lol

He cooked for you there and got to talk to you for a long time.

Since he knows Nordic languages he'd teach you them.

If you needed help in cooking he'd offer to help you in cooking class to give you tips and to show you how to cut.

Mostly so that his hands are on yours and for him to whisper and say things to your ear.

Would say quotes to you from poems or books to keep you interested or questioning.

Would teach you how to dance and have fun in the middle of it by breaking the rules and dipping you instead.

leaves you messages in your locker about how you looked nice but you don't know they are from him.

Has the upper hand because he was once human and Reiji never was so its easier for him to keep a conversation.

While part of this is amusing to compete against Reiji to win over a woman's heart he is also interested in pursuing you.

Of course in terms of feelings once he comes to terms with himself and understands that you do not feel anything for either he is a little bummed out the game ended but mostly because you weren't interested.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

˗ˏˋ 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 ˎˊ˗ ©𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟔~Present

[the-guilty-writer]

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Request from @steveharringtonsgirl04: Hey! I have a request you can totally say not to it but it just keeps coming back in my head lol  soo dad hotch x teen reader where she just wants her dad to hold her :( like all the hotch hugs so he takes her to the BAU and nobody knows he has a daughter btw I absolutely adore your writing it’s literally my favorite!

Aaron Hotchner x daughter!reader

Summary: Hard days are always made better by Hotchner hugs.

A/N: I fully admit that I am lacking in creativity at the moment and I don’t love the “secret family” trope, so this is just short and fluffy Hotch being the best dad

CW: reader gets her period, mentions of vomiting, suggestion that reader’s mother is Haley but could always be adopted or from another relationship

---

“Everyone has his day and some last longer than others.”

Well, you were having your day. And it was bad. Before the lunch bell rang for the day you’d already gotten a terrible night sleep, had Jack spill juice on your favorite top, been late for class, gotten locked out of your locker, tripped over your own feet causing you to face plant in front of the upperclassmen, and gotten your period.

It was safe to say that you were having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

You riffled through your backpack, looking for the bottle of Advil to ease the cramps, but when you found it, it was empty. You cursed under your breath.

Terrible. Horrible. No Good. Very Very Bad Day.

With the knowledge that you’d be unable to get through the rest of the day without being in pain, you swallowed your pride and went to the nurse’s office.

“I’m going to have to call a parent or guardian to bring you something,” the older lady told you. “It’s against school policy for me to give students medication without a doctor's note. Is there someone I can call?”

Usually the answer would have been Jessica, but for once she was the guardian who was out of town.

“Yeah, um, my dad,” you said.

The nurse gave you a sympathetic look and left. She came back a few minutes later. “He’s on his way,” she informed you.

Feeling exhausted and uncomfortable, all you could do was nod.

---

When Hotch walked into the nurse’s office an hour later, he thought you might be on the verge of vomiting. While you tried to look as stoic as him, the paleness of your face gave away how you were actually feeling, and the guilt that he couldn’t get there sooner made his heart sink.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he greeted you, sitting next to you on the cot. He pulled a bottle of Advil from his pocket and handed it to you.

“Thanks.” Your hands were slow but your voice was grateful. “Sorry you had to drive all the way here.”

“No need to apologize.” He kissed your forehead before you downed the pills. You leaned into him slightly and he wrapped his arms around you. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner.”

“‘S not your fault,” your voice was muffled by his suit. You leaned into him and he held you gladly. Just like your mom, you’d always liked hugs, even more so when you hurt.

“Do you want to come to work with me?” he asked. “You can come lay on the couch in my office for the rest of the day.”

You didn’t even question it. “Yes, please."

He signed you out at the front desk. You got a few funny looks, probably doubts that your cramps were really bad enough that you needed the rest of the day off school, but nobody was going to question the glock on your dad's hip or the ID on his shirt.

He helped you into the car, always showing you how any future partner you have should treat you. By the time he climbed into the drivers side, you were already slumped against the door, fast asleep. A gentle smile crept over Hotch’s face as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, careful not to wake you, and then began driving to the office at Quantico.

---

“Do you need anything?” Your dad asked before he sat down at his desk.

You were curled up on the couch in his office, a warm cup of tea on the small table in front of you and a fuzzy blanket. Halfway through the drive, your dad had stopped to get your favorite food. You had your laptop out so you could relax and watch your favorite movies. Really, you had everything.

“A hug?” you requested. That was the one thing he’d never say no to. He sat beside you on the couch and pulled you into a hug- the safest feeling in the world. As he let go, he kissed your forehead and then pulled the blanket tighter around your shoulders.

You put the headphones on and turned on the movie. Your dad began his paperwork.

It was no longer a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

[oleander-nin]

Hello I really like your work, do you think you could yandere Leo/Donnie with a reader that cries really easily?

A/N, not important: YES I KNOW I HAVE A SCHEDULE NOW BUT LEON SAID I COULD IGNORE IT ONCE A MONTH AND I AM SO PROUD OF THIS. This was so fun to do because I am the most emotional person, and I cry so much it isn't even funny. I apologize for the headcanon bit, I really suck at writing them and Leo's contradicts himself left and right lmaooo. Maybe I'll go back and rework them one day. Am VERY proud of the fic portion though. Once I finish a last couple fics, I might do Raph and Mikey for this as well. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

Tw: Needles(Donnie), kidnapping, restraints, crying, dark themes, yandere

Words: 3629

Summary: Yandere Leo and Donnie navigate trying to deal with their darling who cries easily

Leo:

He finds your sniffles and tears a bit endearing, and it plays into his hero complex. You’re just the cute little human who can’t handle the real world. That’s why he saved you, whisking you away to the lair to ‘keep you safe’. 

Teases you relentlessly for it. He finds it funny, albeit a bit worrying. He knows how easy you cry though, and isn’t all that concerned. He’s been watching you for years, he’s well aware how easily you’re set off.

He knows you’re only crying because of him, so he feels safe poking fun at you. It’s not like you’d willingly let him help, so he might as well have some fun if you’re going to be ‘dramatic’.

He’s determined to make you smile one of these days instead of breaking into sobs when he gets too close, but until then, he’ll just pretend your tears are from the joy of seeing him.

While he does find your puffy eyes slightly adorable, your countless tears do slightly annoy him. He doesn't like that you cry at the sight of him, or whimper at his touch. You’re supposed to love him. He usually ends up guilt tripping you after a few minutes, trying to make you feel bad for your emotions.

If he goes too far in his teasing and realizes what he’s saying is actually hurting you, he immediately changes gears and starts pampering you instead. He loves you, you’re his darling. He was just trying to get back at you for crying whenever he touched you. He didn’t mean to actually upset you. He just thought you were a crybaby.

Instantly pulls you close and starts actually trying to comfort you. He holds you in his arms while whispering apologies, letting himself be more vulnerable with you. You love him after all, you’re just confused. If he can’t be vulnerable with you, how can he expect you to ever trust him.

His favorite thing to do is kiss your tears away, trying to comfort you through bouts of affection. He knows you’re more sensitive, so once he realizes it’s serious, he’ll take care of you.

If you cry for a reason other than being scared of him, he’s quick to help you with your problem and comfort you, even if his form of comfort makes you cry more. It’s not his fault you hate his amazing hugs. He can’t deal with you crying for another reason, it means you got hurt or are thinking of something that’s not him. He can’t have that.

If you’re crying from a person or because you’re hurt(either emotionally or physically), he gets more serious and takes care of you. He’ll put on a movie and burrito you in blankets until you can’t get out, then snuggle up with you and whisper sweet nothings while you’re stuck. He finds it sweet and caring. You find it nerve wracking.

If a person makes you cry, he’ll gladly go remove them so they’ll never bother you again. If it was one of his brothers, he’d mess with something they enjoy and be as petty as possible to them for the next few days. He doesn't want you to truly be upset.

I let out a small groan as a buzzing sounds through my head and rattles my skull. I slowly shake off the sleep, trying to ignore how heavy I felt. My skin tingles uncomfortably, as if there were bugs crawling just underneath the skin. I stretch in my bed, confused to feel a plush comforter on top of me. A distant rattling sounds as I move and my wrists are tugged painfully back into place. My eyes flutter open and I look around, panic coursing through me. This wasn’t my bed. This wasn’t my room.

Where in the world was I?

I feel my throat start to tighten as a heavy weight settles on my chest. This was wrong. I pull uselessly at the restraints connecting my wrists to the pole that stretched from floor to ceiling. No matter how hard I tug, it didn’t give. All it did was make the skin on my wrists red and inflamed. They were starting to burn. I look around my prison with misty eyes, trying to figure out my surroundings. It looked as if I was in a refurbished subway car.

I blink away my tears as I suck in a shaky breath. Crying wouldn’t help. I couldn’t cry, not now. I needed a clear mind to get out of here. Swallowing back the building tears, I scan the room for something that could possibly clue me in to what was happening. I was obviously kidnapped and restrained, but why?

Ransom? I shake my head. I wasn’t the most well off considering I was just a college student. That same logic applies to robbery. I wasn’t wealthy, and sure didn’t look at it. My family wasn't exactly the cream of the crop either.

I shakily exhale. Was I just brought here to be tortured and murdered? Just an unlikely victim of a crime of passion? I shudder at the thought, new tears brimming my eyes. This wasn’t fair. I just wanted to go home. I wipe a few tears off my cheeks as they fall, the salty liquid leaving small stains on my cheeks. I sniffle softly, trying to keep it down. Crying in front of my captor would not be the best.

My head shoots up as I hear the faint padding of footsteps outside the door, a loud voice shouting to others in the area. I thickly swallow. There was more than one. I was outnumbered, chained, and alone. I quickly settle back into the bed, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment before letting my face relax. I take a couple deep breaths to calm my tears. Years of crying at the slightest inconvenience sure helps when you need to calm down quickly. Although, I would argue this is a perfectly acceptable situation to cry over. Not that I wanted to.

The fluttering of a curtain being pushed to the side sounds through the room. I hear my captor walk towards me, a soft tune being hummed as he nears. His voice was smooth and crisp, way too happy to match the fear coursing through me. I feel a wave of disgust wash over me. This guy kidnapped me, and is now humming a happy little tune like everything was right in the world. I wanted to jump up and scream at him, hit him with everything I had. This wasn’t fair.

I stay still on the bed despite my violent desires. Doing such a bold action while I was chained would only result in my own injury. I try my best not to tense as I feel his presence near and the humming grow louder. I make sure to keep my cheeks soft, trying to keep up the facade of a deep sleep. Maybe if he saw I was sleeping, he’d leave me alone.

I feel a finger caress my cheek, tracing the tracks of my tears. I hold back a shudder at his touch, trying not to shake. I forgot about the tear tracks. My pulse thunders in my ears as every part of my body begs me to run, but I can’t. I was stuck, a loop of chain keeping me grounded. There was nowhere I could go. Nowhere to run, nor hide. I was trapped with a monster, awaiting my demise.

“You were crying.” The voice pauses for a moment, seemingly thinking. I try everything to keep my breathing steady. I hear a small chuckle from above me as the voice speaks once more, this time in a more teasing tone. “Aww, did you miss me that much?”

My breath hitches in my throat and I don’t breathe, trying to convince him of my unconsciousness. It doesn’t work. I feel a couple more quick taps to my face, each one sending a chill down my spine. I hear another chuckle above me as he continues to poke at my face, watching it scrunch up from my inability to control my muscles.

"Open your eyes, I wanna see them." The voice demands, despite his tone being surprisingly soft. I hold out for a moment more before I feel a sudden wetness and pressure in my ear cavity. I jolt back, glaring at him while I wipe my ear with the heel of my hand. I open my mouth to complain, to try and hold my ground, but all words leave me the moment I meet his eyes.

He was a turtle. A large, smug, humanoid turtle. His arms were muscular and the limited part I could see of his build was strong. Two stark red crescents peaked out of his blue mask and stood out against his green skin. I could barely understand what I was looking at. 

I gape at him for a moment, trying to process what I was seeing. A scream builds up in my chest, fear upon what I saw. His eyes were big and held a strong ego, scanning me up and

down for my reaction. 

"What, don't like what you see?" He asks, still grinning. It was if he thought this whole thing was some huge joke. Nothing more than something to laugh over as the years go by. I swallow the lump in my throat, trying to control my breathing. Too much was happening at once and I could feel my chest starting to constrict on me. The pressure keeps rising and my heart thumps loudly in my ears, drowning out the words I watch him speak but cannot hear. New tears prick at my eyes, quickly falling down my cheek and gathering at my chin before splashing onto my clothes and lap. The turtle's grin widens as he sees my tears, a small coo sounding from his throat. "I know, I know. This meeting was bound to get a bit emotional. It sure is shocking to meet your soulmate for the first time."

I pause at his words, blinking as more tears fall. I try to hold back the choked sobs as I hurriedly wipe away my tears, feeling weak and pathetic for crying in what was possibly my killer. In the least, he was certainly my kidnapper. Showing any ounce of emotional vulnerability in front of him made me feel like I was falling further into his grasp, the chains around my wrists rattling quietly as I move my hands. I jolt back as his three fingered hands move to cup my cheeks, holding my face tight to keep me from squirming away. Tears continue to roll down my cheeks, completely out of my control. His blue masked face just smiles, wiping them as they fall with his thumbs.

Donnie:

He gets really upset at your constant stream of tears. You’re supposed to be happy with him. He doesn’t understand why you insist on throwing a ‘tantrum’ every time he comes near you or something slightly inconvenient happens. Your emotions don’t make much sense to him, even if he realizes the pattern.

Donnie’s not the best at empathizing with your tears. He finds them annoying and proof of you not settling him in. In his mind, the tears equal his own failures as a lover.

The more you cry, the more intense he’ll get. It’ll start with him trying to find solutions and devolve into threats. He just wants you to stop crying. Why won’t you stop crying?

Despite knowing you will cry at anything, he still takes it personally every time. It starts to annoy him and stress him out as he desperately tries to figure out what’s wrong.

Will probably lock you in his room if you keep crying. He doesn’t want to deal with it. Your tears stress him out and make him feel bad, which he doesn’t want. You’re supposed to love him, not cry at the sight of him.

If you’re crying about him or something he did(in his mind, something you made him do), he’ll just ignore your cries. He may snap at you to shut up a couple times, but just grumbles under his breath other than that.

The reason he hates it when you cry is because it makes him feel bad. He learned pretty quickly the way he tries to comfort you doesn’t help much, so instead he just ignores you. He would love to hold you close and keep you occupied so your tears stop, but you never let him touch you. At least, not without a fight. He usually gets fed up enough to leave you alone, but he’ll probably ignore you for days afterwards as a punishment.

If you have a ‘valid’ reason to cry(according to him), he’ll step in and actually help you. He’ll try to comfort you to the best of his ability. He doesn’t want anyone else to bring you pain, so he’ll take care of the problem and make sure to help you. He’ll pull you close as he works and let you cry into his chest for once, ignoring the way you fight him.

He wishes so badly you’d just stop crying. Sometimes he’ll even go to Mikey for advice on how to make you not so scared. It hurts him to see it, and it makes him more agitated with you, which ends in more tears. He wants it to stop.

He tries not to physically punish you for crying. He hates your tears, but you are doing a relatively good thing by trusting Donnie enough to cry in front of him. He’ll usually end up building you a quick item to keep you occupied or have SHELLDON spend time with you until you calm down. He doesn’t want to make your sobs worse.

If he wants affection, and you cry, he’ll just not care. He’ll spoon you from behind so you don’t get your tears on him and hold you close. He’s not willing to give up his own needs for your dramatics.

Bright lights shine into my closed eyelids, my body recoiling as my eyes start to open. I keep them squeezed shut, trying to minimize the damage to my sight. To my left, soft footfalls could be heard paired with a low muttering. I try to move my limbs, my breath hitching once I realize I was strapped down. I feel my breathing quicken, my blood running cold. I let my eyes flutter open, ignoring the way the bright burned my retinas as I force my eyes into focus. Tears built up in the corners of my eyes while my chest tightened.

I couldn’t move. My head was stuck between two large pieces of padding and my limbs were strapped down. The cold metal of the straps burned into my skin, the padding pressing uncomfortably against my cheeks. My face grows hot with tears as I try to force them down, not wanting to alert the presence at my left to my consciousness. A small gasp sounds, and I realize I was too late.

A large, humanoid turtle moves into my vision, my heart pounding in fear as he looks me up and down. I couldn’t help but gasp at his appearance while he towers over me. A purple mask covered the top half of his face, only showing his cold eyes. I look at the purple metal on his back, watching the light catch it to make it shimmer. The purple markings on his shoulders and thighs seemed to glow with the screen he had in front of him, glancing between it and me. His face is scrunched up in thought while he stares down at me, the look of surprise in his eyes morphing into one of confusion. I stay silent, unable to wipe the tears trailing down my cheeks away, unable to keep my dignity in front of this monster.

I couldn’t help but wish for my parents, for freedom. Silent tears continued to build up and fall while the figure in front of me stared me down. His eyes were glued to my cheeks and my expression, one I could only imagine is of terror. He raises his hand to grab my face and I flinch.

I press my head against the headrest of the chair, trying to dodge his approaching hand. He ignores my attempts, grabbing my face firmly and frowning as he stares into my eyes. He wipes my tears before dropping his hand down to cup my chin. I struggle as he forces my face up to make me look at him, a short whimper being pulled from my throat. I blink back more tears, unsure what to make of the turtle in front of me. He continues to stare down my shaking form for a moment, his bottom lip jutting out.

“Are you… Crying?” His surprisingly smooth voice asks. I scrunch my face up, confused why he was even asking. His question took me a bit off guard. Why was he confused about my tears? Sure, I cried more easily than most people, but this situation wasn’t one I would consider something I shouldn’t cry over. The turtle continues to stare me down, seemingly waiting for me to answer. I don’t. I had nothing to say. My voice wouldn’t let me either way. He drops my chin with a glare, rolling his eyes. I let out a breath of relief when he backs up, my limbs still shaking slightly from the fear. I watch him move around the room, not sure whether to be relieved or worried when he ducks out of my sight. 

"Your tears won't phase me." He says, the clinking of metal and glass punctuating his words. I hear a small beep along with liquid being swirled around, my fear rising. Was I about to be experimented on? To be ripped apart and killed brutally? What would something like him even want with me? "Cry all you want, but it won't stop me. You're mine."

His words make me pause as I try to decipher the meaning of his words while he comes back into my line of vision. He's absentmindedly pulling a medical cart with him, staring down at the screen on his wrist. I try to look at the contents of the medical cart, but his body is blocking my sight. I gulp. What could he possibly want? The pads around my head feel sticky from my tears. I wanted to be away from this dreaded chair so bad. I wanted to go home. The turtle looks at me again, smirking at my discomfort. I take a deep breath as he drops his wrist and wheels the cart in front, ready to show off the torture he planned on putting me through.

My breath leaves my chest when I see four syringes lined neatly on the surface of the cart, a sharps container and needles off to the side. I feel as though I had been doused in cold water, new tears springing to my eyes. I was right, I was about to be experimented on then killed. There was no way I could fathom getting out of this alive. I grip the armrest of the chair I was strapped to, my hand cramping and my knuckles turning white from the force. His eyes meet mine and narrow slightly, tsking at the new tears rolling down my cheeks. He didn’t comment on them, but he seemed obviously relieved I wasn’t making much noise. If I could, I would thank the heavens I was a silent crier.

His gaze follows mine to the medical cart holding the needles, a thoughtful hum sounding from his throat. He turns back to me, he drawn eyebrows raising. “I am aware of your allergy to penicillin, and I can assure you there is none in any of the injections I’m about to give you.”

I pause at his words, trying to understand how he knew that. Did he run tests on me while I was asleep? Access my medical history? I shudder at the thought, my mouth too dry to scream and shout all the things I wanted to. My eyes widen as he comes near me with the first shot, his three-fingered hands covered in latex gloves. I struggle violently against the straps, trying desperately to escape. A loud sob is pulled from my chest as more tears pour down my face, fear crashing over me in strong waves.

The turtle pauses, looking down at my mess of a form. A minute goes by as he watches me panic, his right eye twitching. He looks down at the needle in his hand and frowns, tapping his thigh repeatedly with the unoccupied hand. He looks back at me, ignoring my teary face. “I was not aware you had trypanophobia. I apologize, but I really need to do this. If you close your eyes, it’ll be easier. Your struggling will only make it worse.

I suck in a shaky breath, trying to speak. I blank at his words, my eyes still trained on the needle. I assumed he thought I had a fear of needles, and not of being injected with a mystery liquid. Hopefully my death would be quick. He reaches out with one hand and stabilizes my arm, bringing the needle dangerously close to my flesh. I sob harder, trying to jerk away from him, but to no avail. I take one last look at the world around me, expecting to not be able to see it for much longer. I close my eyes and try not to scream as the needle enters my skin.

[bellaturner]

I Wanna Be Yours - pt 2

Contains smut (and some fluff ig?)

Summary: You and Alex reconcile with your brother, Matt, after he accidentally walked in on the two of you kissing.

Warnings: Unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it irl).

3,1k words

Part 1 ✧ Masterlist

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"What the fuck is going on here?" Matt's voice was filled with disbelief.

Alex's hands were still entwined in your hair, his warm breath dancing across your lips.

Heat surged to your cheeks as you wished for this surreal dream turned into a nightmare to end. Shutting your eyes tight, you hoped for a sudden awakening, yet reality persisted when you opened them, locking gazes with Matt.

"Big bear, let me explain," you approached him, your words barely audible. The pain etched on his face cut deep, knowing you were the cause.

"Don't bother. Bringing you along was a damn mistake." He turned to go, frustration thick in his voice. "I get it, you're in your 'rockstar phase,' but seriously? My fucking sister? Can't believe it." The door slammed shut behind him.

"Shit," you muttered under your breath, rushing towards the door, but Alex's grip halted you.

"Don't," he said firmly, his touch easing from your arm.

"We fucked up, Alex," you admitted, tears streaming down your cheeks.

"It'll be alright, sweetheart," he murmured, his arms enveloping you, his nose nestled atop your head. "I'll talk to him. We'll sort this out," his promise accompanied a tender kiss on your forehead.

The room felt heavy with regret and tension, and you couldn't shake off the guilt that had settled in your chest.

"He's right, Alex," you murmured, your voice trembling. "I should have thought about the consequences before we let things escalate."

Alex's fingers gently brushed against your hair as he held you, his touch a reassuring anchor in the storm of emotions. "We both made a mistake," he admitted softly. "But we'll find a way to make things right."

Tears continued to flow down your cheeks as you clung to him, your heart aching for the pain you had caused your brother and the mess you found yourself in. "I never wanted to hurt him like this," you whispered, your voice laced with remorse.

"I know, babygirl," Alex whispered back, caressing your hair.

With a heavy sigh, you leaned back slightly, looking up at him with teary eyes. "Do you think he'll ever forgive us?"

Alex's gaze softened as he cupped your face, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. "I'll talk to him."

You nodded, taking a deep breath to steady your emotions. "I'll apologize too, Alex. I need him to know how truly sorry I am."

The road trip to the next concert location was somewhat awkward. Nick and Jamie could sense that something was wrong, and it was clear to anyone on the tour bus. Alex spent the whole time pretending to compose something, avoiding eye contact with you and Matt. Your brother had his annoyed poker face on, and your eyes were swollen and red from all the crying.

"So," Jamie started, trying to test the waters, "Do you guys have any plans for tonight?" he asked, his gaze alternating between Alex and Matt.

There was silence, and it seemed like no one wanted to address the elephant in the room.

"I guess we could all go out for a drink," Alex finally murmured, raising his eyes to look at Matt for the first time since the incident.

Matt considered the suggestion for a moment, his expression still tense. "Fine," he replied, his voice tinged with irritation.

The tension in the air was palpable, and it was clear that this was going to be one of those nights where the group dynamic was strained.

After what felt like forever but had only been about four hours, the tour bus finally pulled up at the hotel where you'd be staying for the next couple of days. Matt, who usually helped you get off the bus, left before everyone else.

"Bear," you called after him, but he was already gone.

You sighed and got up, heading down the few steps to leave the bus. Alex reached out to help, but you declined, not wanting to call unnecessary attention to yourselves.

You grabbed your luggage from under the bus and went to the hotel reception to check in. A single tear welled up in your eye; though you could do it yourself, Matt always handled this task. Unfortunately, he was nowhere to be found.

With your room key in hand, you headed absentmindedly to the elevator, with Alex and the band members close behind. You'd all be staying on the same floor.

"YN, is everything alright with Matt?" Nick asked, concerned. Lost in thought, you didn't respond; your mind was elsewhere, and you hadn't even heard his question.

Alex discreetly touched the small of your back, snapping you back to reality. You realized that all eyes were on you.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn't paying attention," you stammered, feeling your face flush. Nick repeated his question, but fortunately, the elevator stopped just before you had to answer. You simply shrugged and nodded in response, exiting without saying your goodbyes to the band. You figured you'd catch up with them in a few hours, anyway.

Once inside the room, you tossed your stuff around, searching for your favorite jumper – the one that always comforted you when you felt down. Deciding a shower would help you unwind and give Matt some space, you made a silent promise to talk to him later.

As soon as you steppes out of the bathroom, you heard a faint knock. Quickly put on a robe you opened the door cautiously, revealing Alex standing in the corridor, concern etched across his face.

"Hey," he said softly, his eyes searching yours for answers.

"Hey," you replied, your voice tinged with exhaustion.

He stepped inside your room, and you closed the door behind him. He glanced around, running a hand through his hair and taking in the scattered luggage and the aftermath of the emotional storm that had just passed.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, his concern deepening. He knew that you scatter your things around when changing, but the state of your room was like nothing Alex had ever seen before.

You let out a heavy sigh and sank onto the edge of the bed, mimicking him by running a hand through your disheveled hair. "Honestly, Alex, I don't even know anymore. Everything just got so messed up, and I don't want to hurt Matt, but..."

"May I?" Alex asked as he moved closer, pointing toward the spot beside you on the bed.

You nodded, and he took a seat beside you. You rested your head on his shoulder, silence filled the room.

"This is weird, you know," you said faintly, lifting your head to look Alex in the eyes "I've had a crush on you for as long as I can remember."

Al's lips curled into a gentle smile, his accent adding a touch of charm to his words. "Oh darling, you have no clue how many times I've fantasized about you."

His eyes held a mix of desire and affection as he cupped your face, his lips meeting yours in a soft, lingering kiss. The connection between you two was undeniable.

Breaking the kiss, you leaned your forehead against his, your breaths mingling as you tried to make sense of the chaos around you. "Alex, what are we going to do about Matt?"

He let out a sigh, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on your back. "We'll talk to him together. I'll make him understand how much you mean to me."

"Do I mean something to you?" you asked, your voice quivering as you closed your eyes tightly, anxious about his response.

His hands lightly touched your chin, prompting you to raise your head and open your eyes. Alex's gaze held yours, his tone gentle and sincere. "More than you know, YN. You're not just a hook-up. You're someone I care deeply about. I always did, in my own fucked up way."

Tears welled up in your eyes as his words sank in. "I care about you too, Alex. But I don't want to lose my brother over this."

"We won't," he reassured you, his thumb brushing away a tear. He then cast an appreciative gaze over your body, a mischievous smile forming on his lips. "Now, as much as I want to be the one to take that robe off," he said, studying your attire, "You should go get dressed so we can go talk to Matt, and figure this out together."

A faint smile crossed your lips as you let out a soft laugh. You made your way to the bathroom, and a couple of minutes later, you emerged fully dressed.

"You look-" Alex started, but you didn't let him finish.

"Oh, don't even, Al." you exclaimed "I'm upset and I dressed comfortably, not stylishly."

"I know that hoodie," he said with a sad smile on his face "Are you that upset?" he inquired, approaching you with his arms open, hugging you.

You nodded against his chest. You stayed like this for a couple minutes, just listening to Alex's heartbeat and taking deep breaths, his hands holding you tightly.

"Let's go talk to Matt" you said, taking a deep breath.

The short walk to your brother's room felt like an eternity as your heart raced with anticipation and anxiety.

Alex knocked softly on Matt's door, and you both waited in tense silence. After what seemed like an eternity, the door creaked open, revealing Matt standing there, his expression a mix of anger, hurt, and confusion.

"What do you two want?" Matt's voice was sharp, his eyes narrowing as he looked at you and then at Alex.

You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the situation pressing on your chest. "Matt, we need to talk," you began, your voice steady despite the nervousness that gnawed at you.

Alex chimed in, his accent carrying a soothing tone. "Yeah, mate, we messed up, and we want to make things right."

Matt's gaze shifted between the two of you, his arms folded defensively across his chest. "Make things right? You slept with my sister, Alex. How the hell are you going to make that right?"

"Woah, hold up, Big Bear," you said, raising your hands defensively. "We didn't sleep together," you clarified, making sure to emphasize that point. "Can we come in, Matt, please?" you added, your gaze locked onto his.

Matt stepped aside, allowing you and Alex to enter his room. You both took seats on the sofa near the entrance, ready to continue the conversation.

You glanced at Alex, who gave you an encouraging nod. Taking a deep breath, you began, "Matt, I need you to listen to us, okay? I know what you saw back there was... well, it looked bad, but it's not what you think."

"YN, love, you don't know Alex," Matt began with concern in his voice. "I've been his friend since we were six, okay? And I've been touring with him from the beginning. Only God knows how many hearts he's broken by now."

"Thanks, mate," Alex muttered, earning a side-eye from you that conveyed a clear 'shut up' message.

You spoke up, meeting Matt's gaze. "I've known Alex for just as long as you have, Matt."

Your brother sighed deeply, his brow furrowing in thought. After a moment, he said, "YN, can I have a moment alone with Alex?"

"Yes, sure," you replied, getting out of your seat and walking towards the room. Closing the door behind you, you sat at the edge of your brother's bed, your heart pounding in your chest. The muffled sounds of Alex and Matt's voices arguing made your stomach churn. The fear that Matt might never forgive you invaded your thoughts.

Just when you were about to reach your breaking point, Matt opened the door and asked you to join them.

You entered the room and found Matt and Alex both sitting on the sofa, their expressions tense. It was clear that they had exchanged some heated words during their private conversation. You took a deep breath, ready to face whatever was coming.

Matt glanced at you, his frustration still evident, but he seemed somewhat calmer now. "Look, YN," he began, his tone more composed, "I've had some time to talk with Alex, and we've had a… frank discussion."

Alex nodded in agreement, his usual confidence replaced by a more serious demeanor. "We've hashed things out," he added, giving you a reassuring nod.

You nodded back, relieved that they had talked things through, but still anxious about the outcome. "So, where do we go from here?" you asked, your voice trembling slightly.

"I'm your brother, not your boss or anything, so I can't forbid you from living your life," Matt said with a genuine smile. "And Alex promised me that he'd take good care of you."

Feeling grateful and emotional, you jumped out of your seat and hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Matt," you replied, your voice filled with sincerity. "I promise we'll always be honest with you, and I really appreciate your trust in us."

"You're my little sister, YN. I just want you to be happy," Matt said as he held you. "So," he continued, letting go and getting up with a playful grin, "shall we go out? Jamie and Nick must be waiting."

Matt and Alex exchanged a friendly smile and a hug. "I promise not to hurt her, Matt," Alex reassured him.

"You better," Matt replied, his tone light but firm, "or I'll kill you."

The three of you joined Jamie and Nick, who were sitting in the hotel's lounge area. Their expressions shifted from curiosity to relief as they saw you approach, seemingly in good spirits.

"Everything alright?" Jamie asked cautiously, glancing at each of you.

Matt put his arm around your shoulders and squeezed gently. "Yeah, everything's fine," he assured them with a reassuring smile.

Nick raised an eyebrow, clearly wanting more details but deciding not to press further. "Great. I heard there's a good bar around the corner" he suggested.

"Yeah, that sounds good!" you exclaimed, hugging Alex.

He hugged you back, and you dared to share a quick kiss, which left Jamie and Nick momentarily stunned, unsure of how to react.

When you opened your eyes, you saw Nick passing Jamie a $10 bill.

"Did you dickheads bet on my sister?" Matt exclaimed, a mix of surprise and irritation in his voice.

"Pfff," Alex mocked. "Only 10 bucks?" he joked, earning a playful slap on his arm.

The evening at the bar continued, filled with shared stories, laughter, and even a bit of dancing. You couldn't help but notice how Alex's eyes never left you for long, and every touch and smile exchanged between you felt a dream.

As the hours passed, the atmosphere became more relaxed, and it seemed that the initial tension had completely dissipated. You found yourself enjoying the night, basking in the happiness of the moment.

Eventually, as the clock neared closing time, you all decided it was time to head back to the hotel. The group walked back together, arm in arm. Once you reached the hotel, you exchanged goodnight wishes with everyone and headed to your room. The day had taken an emotional toll on you, and you eagerly anticipated some much-needed rest.

Just as you were about so lay down, you heard a knock. A broad smile graced Alex's face as you opened it. "Tonight turned out better than I could have hoped," he said, enfolding you in a warm embrace.

You snuggled against him, closing the door and finding comfort and contentment in his arms. "Yes, it did," you replied, gazing up at him with a gentle smile. "Thank you for being here, Alex."

He leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a lingering kiss. "Always, princess," he whispered gently against your mouth, "I'll always be here for you." His kiss intensified, evoking a moan from you that left both of you breathless. "I'm going to use your body now, pumpkin," he murmured with desire, his voice filled with lust. He grasped a handful of your hair, revealing your neck, and covered it with passionate, open-mouthed kisses.

"Fuck, Alex," you let out a soft whimper as he trailed kisses down to your breasts, guiding you both towards the bed.

"Do you want me to stop, darling?" he asked, gently pushing you onto the mattress.

"I don't." you replied.

"Good, then shut up and let me please you," he whispered against your skin, his hot breath sending shivers all the way down to your core.

He sucked one of your nipples while playing with the other, making you moan loudly. "Shhh, baby, it's okay," he soothed you, but it only made you want him even more.

It was ridiculous how quickly Alex could build you up. He had barely touched you and you were already pooling in your panties for him. "Alex, I need you to fuck me, please," you begged him.

He promptly got up and removed his clothes, while you took your pants off. The sight of him naked was enough to bring you to the edge, and you definitely felt like jumping.

He stroked himself lightly, making you exhale in anticipation. "Alex, can i suck you, please?" you asked shyly, feeling your face turn red.

"Oh, babydoll, as much as I want it, I'm about to explode and I want to do so inside you little cunt," he said in a voice so erotic it melted you. He placed himself on top of you and without a warning he completely filled you up, eliciting a loud moan.

"Oh fuck, Al," your voice was light and breathy, and your vision was filled with stars. He picked up his pace, reaching of G-spot over and over again. "Shit, Alex, slow down, I'm don't want to come just yet," You could feel the sweet release of an orgasm approaching, but you wanted to savor the moment a little more.

"I'm right there with you, pup," he muttered. "Come for me, baby," he asked and you have no choice but to give him what he wanted. His lips crashed against yours as you enjoyed the high, his following shortly after.

Alex sprawled out on top of you, both of you breathing heavily and working to catch your breath after the intense moment you'd just shared.

"I can't believe we've never done that before," Alex whispered between breaths, and a soft chuckle escaped your lips in response.

The last thing you recall is Alex's fingers tracing soothing patterns on your back, and his steady heartbeat beneath your ear offering a comforting rhythm. Shortly after, you both drifted into peaceful sleep, and you couldn't remember the last time you felt so happy.

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AFTER ALMOST THREE MONTHS, IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!!

I promise you I'm trying my bestto write fics, but it's med school admission test season and I'm just so stressed with it 😩

BUT, iwby part 2 is finally here and I wanted to thank @malina-33 for the amazing suggestions, I hope you enjoy it, Mal 💕

Oh, this is not proof read (and I'm pretty drunk right now) so please excuse any grammar mistakes and typos (I'm the queen of typos even when I'm sober fml).

Anyways, thanks for reading💕💕

~ Bella

[actual-changeling]

you know, i was getting all sorts of ick feelings from the apology dance, and I'm so glad you pointed that out as not actually very cute or romantic in one of your posts, because yeah. it wasn't.

anyways i also just really love all of your crowley meta it's so well thought out and everything about trauma and healthy relationships i- it's just all amazing, so thank you (and sorry for the rambling lol)

Thank you! And never feel bad for rambling, I love rambling with people about this show.

The apology dance is such a sore spot for me, the entire first episode is, really. At first it seems - cute, funny, you laugh, and then don't think about it too much.

But then you do think about it and suddenly it is everything but romantic.

I might write a whole meta post about it at some point but the summary is basically as follows.

Aziraphale calls Crowley to meet him in the café and we're literally starting off with "don't say anything" for no reasons, but alright. Then he talks around the point, lies to Crowley's face, and eventually brings him to the bookshop only because Nina sped the whole thing up with the naked man comment. Aziraphale does not warn Crowley, doesn't say anything, nothing. Just jumps it on him.

THEN he refuses to "ask him properly", expecting Crowley to play bad cop and do the dirty work.

When Crowley tries to be a fucking adult about it and actually talk to Aziraphale in private, Aziraphale is already not listening to him. We get the "exactly" question, Aziraphale ignores every single issue Crowley points out because he has already decided what he is going to do. What he wants from Crowley is not a solution - he wants him to say "yes and" and do what he has in mind.

He THEN behaves like a fucking five year old with his "You're at liberty to go". I am holding myself back here but in short, this is a manipulation tactic. He is LITERALLY guilt tripping Crowley.

Crowley is incredibly taken aback and rightfully hurt, and Aziraphale feels bad and goes back to begging him for help - and Crowley almost says yes. He is about to say yes because he loves him and wants to keep him save.

Aziraphale however, for fucking childish reasons, goes back to his temper tantrum and throws "if you won't, you won't" into Crowley's face, sits down, and watches him leave. After HE called HIM for help because again, he didn't want help. He wanted a "yes of course aziraphale do you want a massage too or maybe a cocktail?"

But nooooo, of course it's Crowley who needs to apologize, and the fact that he is forced into doing the dance by Aziraphale is such a funny haha romantic laugh moment and not at all the fucking climax of Aziraphale's entire manipulation tactic.

Yeah. Fuck that, is my final thought. Conclusion: not funny, someone get Crowley into a healthier environment asap.

this turned into a little meta post i hope you don't mind rip i'm in a mood today

[feyhunter78]

Pink Pastels Pt 29

Description: Conchata O'Hara is not a fan of you and makes this clear to Miguel, but it ends up going a little too far when she drags Gabi into it. Pt 30

“Mijo, I don’t like this.” Connie says as soon as Miguel shuts the door.

They’re in a side sitting room, the music, and chatter muffled by the thick door. His mother is wringing her hands as she stands in the middle of the room looking up at him.

He turns to face her, massaging his temples. “You don’t like what?”

“Someone new trying to come in and take Ava’s spot, it’s too fast.” She says, a concerned expression on her face.

“It’s been four years.” He deadpans, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tries to calm himself down.

He’s never been good at this, even in his original universe, in fact he was worse back there because his mother was worse. Conchata O'Hara spent most of her life after her divorce from his stepfather guilt-tripping, he and Gabriel into running to her side at any given moment. She’d fake health scares, emergencies, claim someone had tried to break in and harm her, anything to trick them into visiting her at Wellvale Home.

But here? Here Gabriel dies much earlier, here his stepfather dies under mysterious circumstances when Miguel was thirteen, here his mother stays kind for a bit longer, this universe’s Miguel is in high school when she begins to change.

Then when Miguel arrived in this universe, he pulled her out of Wellvale and put her into therapy, then a nice apartment where she could bug everyone else before she bugged him. The guilt-tripping lessened, and he found he could actually tolerate visiting her.

“But Ava is still her mother.” Connie says that same disappointed look on her face he saw in the video footage from the day Ava left this timeline’s Miguel.

He counts to ten, then back down to zero in his head. Gabriel was always much better at this than him. He had more patience, in both universes.

“She is biologically her mother, but she isn’t her mom , she made that very clear to me.” Miguel says firmly.

Connie shakes her head. “She’s seduced you, hasn’t she?”

“Y/N?” He asks, both two seconds from laughing while also slightly aroused at the idea.

Would you seduce him? Maybe he’d bring that up to you, a little roleplay? You could be the beautiful assistant that seduces her overworked boss, turns him to putty in her hands…

“Miguel.” Connie snaps.

“No, no, she has not seduced me, she’s an elementary school teacher, Mamá.” Miguel explains.

“So?”

“So? So, she’s Gabi’s teacher, and she loves her job, she would never do anything to jeopardize it.”

“Most mistresses are teachers.” She says, crossing her arms over her chest.

He knows that’s blatantly wrong.

“You would know a lot about that, wouldn’t you?” The words come out of his mouth before he can stop them, and the look on his mother’s face is like a sucker punch to the gut. “I—Mamá—I didn’t mean…I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“Tu hijo ingrate.” She says, shaking her head in disappointment. “I did everything for you, tried so hard to raise you well, but obviously I failed.” Trsl: You ungrateful child.

“Mamá…” He reaches for her, but she takes a step back.

“I am so sorry that I was such a terrible mother that you would give up so easily, really Miguel, you would abandon the mother of your child when she came all the way here to see you and Gabi, to apologize.”

“How did you know Ava was in Nueva York?” He asks, dread filling his chest.

“She’s my daughter-in-law, and she wanted to see her baby, I told her where you and Gabi moved to.” She says it so simply, as if she hadn’t driven a stake through his heart.

Not for the first time, he feels a wave of sympathy and rage for this universe’s Miguel. “You told her where we are? After I specifically asked you not to?”

“She wanted to apologize.” She emphasizes.

“No, no she did not, Mamá. She showed up and demanded to see Gabi, she tried to seduce me, and she called my fiancée a whore in her own home, in front of Gabi. She was never intending to apologize.”

“Well, obviously your perception of her is skewed because of your new plaything.” She huffs.

“She is my fiancée, I love her, I’m in love with her, and Ava will never be allowed into my home or near my daughter again.” He says with a tone of finality as he stares down his mother.

She rolls her eyes.

“Mamá, I’m sorry, but if you can’t accept that, then you won’t be allowed to see Gabi either.” This’ll break Gabi’s heart, but a boundary has to be put into place.

This would be much easier if he could just tell his mother Ava was dead, but he can’t and he won’t.

“You would keep me from my own granddaughter? This woman really has changed you.” She tsks, tapping her fingers impatiently on her arm.

She has no idea.

“It’s for the better, can’t you just be happy for me?” He asks, both frustrated and saddened that his mother can’t look past her own desires long enough to focus on him.

She sighs and takes his hand in hers. “Miguel…of course I can. If you’re happy, then I’m happy.”

He smiles slowly. “Thank you, it means a lot to me that we have your support.”

She pats his cheek. “I’m your mother, you’ll always have my support.”

He smiles and takes a step back, turning towards the door and pulling it open. You’re bound to be worried; he’s told you a little about how much his mother loved Ava, how she blamed him for the divorce, and how she treated him and Gabriel, but he didn’t go into too heavy detail. You had been so upset on his behalf, an almost righteous fury blazing through you.

“Sin embargo, no soy la madre de esa puta.” She mumbles. Trsl: I’m not that whore’s mother, though.

Her voice is so soft, and if his hearing wasn’t enhanced, he doubts he would’ve heard what she said.

“You clearly need time to process this news, Y/N, Gabi and I will leave you alone, and you can give me a call in a few days once you’ve calmed down.”

He leaves her behind as he heads back to the table, his eyes focused on you. How you try to cover your smile with your hand when you laugh, and the way you blend so seamlessly with Monica, Brett, and Nancy, his other family.

“Papá!” Gabi calls out to him from her seat beside you.

“Are you bored of the sheep already?” He teases, as he slides into the seat beside you, an empty one on his other side.

“Oh, Miguel, maybe don’t—” You try to warn him, but it’s too late.

Gabi nods excitedly. “I want one.”

“A sheep?”

“I’ll name it Wooly, and it can sleep in my bed with me, and we can go on adventures, and maybe we can buy a farm, and then I can have lots of sheep.” She begins to ramble on and on about sheep, and he sees Monica hiding her face in Brett’s shoulder.

“Did you do this?” He asks, glaring at her from across the small square table.

Monica raises her head, her lips pressed tightly together to keep a laugh from escaping. “No?”

“Brett?” He turns his gaze on the light brown-haired man.

“You know, Miguel, they say animals are really great for children’s social development.” Brett says, giving him an apologetic smile.

“And then a goat tried to eat my dress!” The tail end of Gabi’s ramble catches his attention.

He turns back to see Gabi holding out the hem of her dress for you to see. It’s got ragged bite marks in it, and pieces of fabric missing.

“Oh no, that’s no good.” You say, smoothing out Gabi’s skirt. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to get you a new one for the next gala.”

“I’ll take you shopping, nieta.” Connie says, taking the seat next to Nancy, the conveniently empty one next to him.

Miguel shoots her a look, but she ignores him.

“Really?” Gabi asks, beaming at her grandmother.

“I’d like to come with, if you don’t mind?” You ask, giving Connie a smile.

Miguel braces himself for his mother’s response.

“How sweet, but this is a family thing, we need to find her color for her quince.” His mother’s voice is saccharine sweet, and it turns his stomach.

“But she’s six?” You question, looking to him for guidance.

“It’s never too early to find your color.” His mother says.

“Of course, but children’s favorite colors often change as they grow older, shouldn’t we let Gabi make her color decision when she gets closer to fifteen?” Miguel sees you look towards Gabi, but she’s preoccupied with trying to beat Brett in some odd competition to see who can eat their pasta faster.

“Y/N is right, Mamá, Gabi is too young to decide what color she wants, why don’t we revisit this idea when she’s a bit older?” Miguel steps in, placing a hand on your knee to comfort you.

“You’re a man, Miguel, you don’t understand how important this is.” Connie dismisses him.

“I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but he’s her father, I’m sure he does.” You say, your smile growing tight.

He adores you, you who is trying so hard to befriend his mother for the sake of his daughter.

Connie smiles at you. “Poor dear, don’t worry, no one expects you to understand.”

You blink at her, stunned. “Oh—um, I mean, I grew up visiting Texas, I’ve attended quinceañeras before, I know how important they are to the family.”

“Yes, but, attending is not the same as hosting.” Connie laughs, the sound thin and mocking.

“Connie…” Nancy says quietly, her eyes scanning the table until they land on Brett and Gabi.

“Of course not, but Gabi is important to me, so anything that’s important to her is important to me.” You try to reason, clenching and unclenching your fingers around the stem of your still full drink.

Brett reads her glance and scoops her up, carrying her back towards the petting zoo, claiming he forgot to show her something super cool and important.

“And that’s wonderful to hear, but you don’t need to worry, really no one expects you to understand how important this is, you’re not her blood, her family, after all.” Connie smiles as she says this, and Nancy hides her face in her napkin.

Rages surges through him, but you beat him to it.

“I’m sorry?” Your grip on your drink would be enough to crack it if you had his enhanced strength.

“Connie, please.” Nancy says miserably. “Don’t do this.”

“Yeah, Connie, don’t say things you can’t take back.” You seethe.

Miguel’s feels trapped, stuck between two immovable forces, you, coming in hot with a rage he’s never seen before and his mother, radiating ice-cold contempt.

“You can call me Mrs. O’Hara, only family and friends call me Connie.”

“Mamá, y/n is Gabi’s mother, she—”

“I can handle everything a mother does.” You finish his sentence, fingers tap, tap, tapping angrily on the tablecloth.

Connie shakes her head. “It’s best to leave all the important things to me, or Ava, when Miguel finally gives up this little charade. You’re not her mother, and you never will be.”

Like a woman possessed, you shoot up, drink in hand, and throw it at her, champagne splattering across her and the tablecloth before you slam the glass against the table. It shatters, glass scattering across the pristine white tablecloth. “Don’t you ever fucking say that to me again.”

Miguel moves a millisecond before you do, wrapping his arms around you when you lunge. “Y/N!”

“Don’t you ever fucking say that to me. You miserable excuse for a mother, how dare you? You think that cheating bitch is better than me? When has she done anything but lie on her back and fuck with your son and granddaughter’s head?” You scream, fighting against Miguel’s grip as he pulls you away from the table.

“Y/N, please, calm down.” He begs, his enhanced senses helping him navigate around the other tables.

Monica rushes forward and takes what remains of the broken glass from you, before scrambling back to the table.

“Gabriella is my daughter, and I will give her the best damn quinceañera this city’s ever seen, and you will have to fucking watch from outside.” You continue, until Miguel slaps a hand over your mouth and drags you outside.

Tag list: @miggyoharaswife, @badbishsblog, @imisshim2much, @wanderlustingcastaway, @lynn-9703, @sleepyamaya, @erensbbg, @sweetea85, @ilovemiguelohara, @natthernandez, @stxrrielle, @ihateuguys, @jenniferdixon05207, @blep-23, @luvisaaxoxo, @minimari415, @emerald-09, @violet-19999, @kenchosaikuo, @groovycass, @youcantseem3, @lovefks, @nightshxdex, @dusstory, @aesniri, @munsonssecretblog, @kirke-is-my-name, @starbearieee, @chatoicboy, @act1839, @needsleep3000, @totally-not-georgia, @witchy-lizard, @cxmeiloorun7, @justrandomlolidk, @chimpkinnuggies, @alicefallsintotherabbithole, @loser-alert, @wwwellacom, @ryantryan6969, @lollipopin, @blakeaha, @youcantseem3, @a-cult-leader, @verexi, @purpleskiesandroses, @they2luv1naia, @sophiaj650, @idolautism, @rheannajrs, @merakiq, @rexs-wife, @sukaretto-n, @twilight-loveer, @f1shb0nez, @callsign-blue, @marcelineormars, @sxnasbitch, @111gltzpzy, @lucilavenxoxo, @ray-rook, @elizamelody, @soapbar99, @trashieboii, @erissco, @gardenof-venus, @vlads-dracula3

[ilydeku]

listen.. listen.. izuku doesn’t have time for reader because of being a pro hero ANGST.

BREAKING MY HEARTTT

culpability | izuku x reader

Your eyes fluttered open, waking up to the sound of items being shuffled around and bags being zipped up downstairs. At first, you suspected it to be a robbery but your thought changed when you realized Izuku wasn't in bed with you. You leaned over your nightstand and checked your phone. 11:38. What could he be doing up so late? Naturally, you got out of bed, stepped into your white fluffy slippers, and quietly headed downstairs. Your eyebrows furrowed as your eyes adjusted to the darkness, the living room coming into view. Izukus's back was turned and he seemed to be packing clothing and toiletries in, not one, but three large suitcases.

"Izuku..." He turned around, surprised by your sleepy voice. "...where are you going?" He gazed upon you with grief.

"I told you, y/n, remember? I have to go on a month's trip to America for a crisis that's been occurring throughout the state. Illegal activities like quirk disabling and amplifying drugs have been being processed throughout the state. Raids, arson, and homicide have also severely increased. America's hero council contacted top heroes from around to world to address the situation until the numbers start to fall," explained Izuku.

"What?" Your eyebrows furrowed once more. You leaned against the stair railing and crossed your arms over your chest. "You never told me this?"

Izuku frowned.

"I did. I said it on the phone last week-"

"But you didn't tell me this was a month-long trip, did you? You said it was for a week."

"I..." He averted his eyes out of guilt, turning around to continue packing. He could feel your eyes burning through him. He could feel you as you stepped closer and closer to him. He could feel every emotion emitting from you. "...I need to do this y/n, it's important." You huffed forcefully, temper clearly shown. Hero work, hero work, hero work. That's all he seemed to care about. There are some times when you wish he hadn't pursued the occupation, but you know that's wrongful thinking. But why doesn't he get it? He has a loving wife and two beautiful children. Does he not see the responsibility here?

"You know what's more important? Being here as a father for our 9-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter, yeah? You never spend enough time at home and you're always off to work every day, barely anytime to say hello or goodbye to them!" You snapped. Clearly, he wasn't paying you any mind.

Izuku sighed. "...It's only one month y/n, I promise I'll be ho-"

"So you're just going to leave us here? How the hell am I supposed to put food on the table when I have to be here with the kids?" Your voice grew louder and louder with every word, your teeth practically bearing. To you, it might've seemed he was ignoring you, but it's quite the opposite really. He flinched a bit with every shout of your voice. He's never seen you with so much fury. It made him miserable hearing your cries and shattering enrage. He stood up and turned around, placing his hands on your waist.

"Don't worry, y/n. The government will be paying us when I'm gone...I have to go soon. There are helpless people out there who need a hero to save them, criminals, to be captured, and chaos to be fought away. I'm sure you'll be f-"

SLAP

Izuku's eyes widened in shock. Your body dropped down to the floor, your hands hiding the flowing tears, followed by erratic breathing. Your face was burning with stress, anger, and sadness. You wanted to apologize for inflicting pain on him, but at the same time, you hoped that it stung as much as his actions did. How could he leave all of a sudden? For a whole month too? What if something bad happens to him? What would happen to you and your kids then? Izuku's reached his hand up to his cheek, still in shock by your measures. He stared down at your broken figure.

"Y/n...-" He crouched down to you and held out his calloused, scar-driven hand. The hand that intertwined with yours on your first date. The hand that slipped the diamond ring on your finger.

You slapped it away.

"No, Izuku. Just go." By then, your little ones were already up, quietly listening from upstairs. "Just go already. Maybe you shouldn't even come back. Leave us here." Tears were falling down his own face. His heart ached from hearing those painful words. He huffed, picking up his luggage and walking towards the front door. As he was about to leave, he muttered, "I'll be back soon," and left without another word. As the front door closed, you shot up and ran to it, swinging it wide open to see Izuku still in view. You clenched your jaw as tears threatened to fall again.

With all your anger, dejection, and sorrow, you cried out at the top of your voice, "You call yourself a hero!? You go around liberating society and its strangers, but you can't even save your own family!?"

He stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. There were no tears, no cries, yet he held the most remorseful expression you've ever had the heart to discern.

But he kept going, walking until he was out of sight, into the abyss of darkness you pray he'd never fall into.

support me? :)

[sofasoap]

Snowman

pairing: Nikolai x F!Reader + OC child Rating : M for innuendos. otherwise fluff family story.

Summary: As a good doting father, Nikolai took his family into the wood for a quiet getaway.

Thank you @glitterypirateduck for the Vacation mode challenge! I am sorry I always pull in at the last minute.. *sob*

OC characters belongs to:

Myléne 'Petra’ Scholten de Ridder, @eenochian Olga 'Zhar’ Samiolova, @nrdmssgs Christine 'Riot’ Vega, @gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot

“Anya! Don’t run so… fast. Oh dear.” You sighed as the warning had come too late for your toddler who tripped and face planted herself into the fresh powder snow.  She was immediately picked up by your husband who threw the toddler high up in the air, causing a fit of giggle. 

“There my little princess. Not a scratch. How brave!” 

“Papa!! Snow!!” she giggled as she pointed towards the ground and started wiggling around in his hold, eager to get back onto the soft cold surface. 

“Yes I know it’s snow, but don’t run too far away from papa and ma alright? It's dangerous. There might be bears… wolves and bad guys nearby.”

The little one nodded her head, with a serious expression on her face.

“Good, now go make a snowman for papa alright?” Nikolai sat his daughter down and the little girl immediately went to work, gathering up the snow to form a little snowball. 

The rare family breaks the three of you, getting away from the busy work schedules and missions. This spontaneous getaway was initiated by your daughter reading a story book, and pouting about how she never built a snowman before.

“I must correct this! The daughter of mine has never built a snowman before???” Nikolai put his paperwork down and picked his daughter up from the couch, peppering her with kisses.  “You don’t have any free time love.” you pointed out to your husband.  “I always have time for my little princess. And you of course.” he smirked at you as you rolled your eyes.  “I’ll get Yuri to take the workload off me…” “Yuri got the twins. Petra will twist your neck off if you add more workload onto him.” “Zhar can deal with it.”  “Do you want to see Krueger pouting? Or Nikto mopping away.” “What has Krueger got to do with Zhar?” Nikolai frowned.  “Or maybe I should ask Price if I can borrow Riot…” “You want to drag a pregnant woman to work?” you gasped. “What?” “What? Oh uh, you weren’t supposed to know that. Anyway, where are we going anyway? Into the mountains?” you quickly change the subjet. “ I got a cabin in the woods…” “How many properties have you got?” you quirk your eyebrow. “A lot.”  he smirked. "Remember your husband is rich."

It wasn’t even a small cabin. You thought it would be like the other small safe houses you have been to. It was a proper, large resort style cabin, well concealed and hidden inside the wood.  Anya, being the excited little child, runs around the cabin and checks all the rooms and amenities out, and pulls you around to show you each of the new things that caught her eyes.   The three of you spend days in quietness, just like a normal family, Anya drawing quietly in front the fireplace with her Papa, who has been staring at something on the same page for the last thirty minutes. and suspicously moving his finger on the page. “No work, remember your promise? Chimera will not fall apart without you in a week. Trust the crews.” You gently remove the hidden phone behind the book he was supposedly reading, reminding him of his promises. Nikolai chuckled as he pulled you into his lap, kissing your cheek as an apology.  “You know we hardly get to spend time like a normal family.” you bury your face into the crook of his neck. “The team will have everything under control. Please just relax. Spend time with your daughter, and me.”  It’s one of the guilt Nikolai carries, he couldn’t afford to give you and his daughter a normal life.  A life without bloodshed and danger. The past he bares, the sins he carries, the man he is,  There is always a chance the two of you are in danger. He knows you are strong enough to defend yourself.  But his little innocent princess?  

Anya’s gasp pulls both you and Nikolai’s attention towards her.  “IT’S SNOWING!”  She jumped up and ran towards the window. “Papa! Do you think we will have enough snow by tomorrow for a snowman?”  “Maybe?” he laughed. “But we might be trapped in here forever with lots of snow!”  “Good!” Anya turns towards her parents. “That means I can have papa and ma with me all the time!”

“Bears? Wolves?” you walked up towards your husband and leaned against his arm. Watching your daughter using all her energy to start rolling the snow ball around. “Didn’t know there’s wild animals nearby.”

“Use to. But the only wild animal here at the moment is me.” Nikolai chuckled. “The scary big bad wolf…”

“Oh what a big hand you have got!” you smirked, playing along with him.

“The better to touch you with.”

“What a big mouth you have." 

"The better to eat you with!” his smile widened. “And you know what other big thing this big bad wolf has?” he whispered into your ears, letting out a low growl.

“Care to show me later on?” 

“Papa!! Ma! Come and help meeeeee!!!”

“Did you have fun at the cabin, Anya?” “Yep!! I made Ma made hot chocolate.. Marshmallow.. Papa put fire on… I build snow man!!! and Oh ma and Papa played the big bad wolf game!”

“Anya…..oh heavens.” 

Bonus:

“What a big hand you have..”

“The better to spank your ass with.” “What a big mouth you have…” “The better to eat your pussy with.”

“And the big cock?”

“The better to pleasure my beautiful wife with.” Nikolai smirked as he started climbing over you. 

“Then, my big bad wolf,” you thrust your hip up to grind against him. “Show me how it's done.” 

@preciouslittlecreature @roosterr @connorsui @glitterypirateduck

[oohnotvery]

Edges of the Night (Chapter 16)

**tw/cw implied suicidal thoughts**

Thank you so much for keeping up with this story   I loved writing that last chapter but truthfully, I haven’t had the stomach to read the comments yet because I’m scared!

In other news, one of my favorite characters to write is angry, outraged, incensed, deranged Scully. I think those were Gillian’s best moments on the show, and I can just picture her seething and frothing with fury here. I hope you enjoy my iteration of Angry Scully.

She didn’t mean to do it.

She didn’t mean to fall asleep.

She knew better than to let her guard down, not while Mulder was spouting off crazy things like your life will be better without me. But he had settled them so comfortably in the bed, forehead to forehead, and his arms had felt so good around her shoulders, and his breathing was so slow and steady in her ear, and her body was so exhausted from fighting for so long . . .

The moment she opens her eyes, Scully knows what he’s done.

She sits up so fast her vision blurs. She whips around to the other side of the bed, finding his place empty, gone cold many hours ago.

Panic, then fear, then anguish hit her like tidal waves, and then she’s sprinting through the upstairs rooms. He’s not anywhere to be found, so she flies downstairs, tripping over the last step. Alan appears out of nowhere and reaches out to steady her but she shakes him off.

She zeroes in on Frohike, who looks awfully suspicious leaning against the front door.

Indignation swells in her chest and she storms over to him, reaching out to yank him away. Her fingertips are just brushing the edge of his jacket when Byers throws an arm in between them, blocking her. Without thinking, her hand flies out and she smacks him across the cheek. Byers stumbles backward in shock and she gapes at him, surprised by her own actions.

A long moment passes where the entire room falls still with anticipation. Scully’s gaze locks onto Byers’ bewildered look, and as a red mark slowly starts to bloom across his cheek, she blinks.

“I’m so sorry,” she breathes.

He shakes his head slowly and raises a palm to his face, as if to check whether she really did slap him. His eyes turn somber. “No, we’re the ones who should be apologizing, Agent Scully.”

She glances around at Frohike and Langly, who are studying her with awkward, guilt-ridden looks. Sensing Alan and Skinner nearby, she twists around, seeing them standing shoulder-to-shoulder like a pair of soldiers. A low, boiling sensation curls hot in her belly.

Each and every one of these men betrayed her.

Each and every one of these men helped Mulder leave her.

“You have to tell me where he went,” she warns them all darkly, her voice trembling with rage. If Alan is put off by her intensity, he doesn’t show it.

Byers shakes his head remorsefully. “We don’t know.”

She turns on Frohike, stabbing a finger at his chest. “You have to know. If he were going to tell anyone where he was going, it would be you.” Her chest heaves and she sees a flutter of acknowledgement in Frohike’s eyes. She seizes on it. “You do know where he went, don’t you?” Her eyes turn feral, accusatory. She steps forward, pushing Byers aside. “Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to shake it out of you?”

The little man looks momentarily alarmed, but then his face assumes a mask of composure. “I—I don’t know where he is,” he says weakly, “and I would do almost anything to take this pain from you,” he adds with sincerity. His brow creases in agony. “But I—I don’t know . . . .”

“You’re lying.”  

He shifts uncomfortably and she wonders if she really has it in her to hurt him, if she’s really willing to do that to get to Mulder.

“I won’t—I can’t—I don’t know where he is,” he repeats defeatedly, but he is unwilling to meet her gaze.

“Then you are dead to me,” she spits. Frohike’s eyebrows shoot up and she steps in closer, lowering her voice. “You think you know what’s best for Mulder? Or for me? Do you think Mulder gets to decide what’s best for my life? When am I going to get to make my own goddamn choices?” She whips around to face the rest of the room. “When are any of you going to realize that my life isn’t yours to manipulate?”

“Dana,” comes Alan’s soothing voice, and she draws in a lungful of air, willing herself to breathe. But there’s no air in this room. No air, no life, no hope. She turns over her shoulder to glance back at Frohike, whose face has turned pale with shame.

“I don’t know, Dana,” he finally whispers, and a flicker of doubt slides down her spine.

If Frohike isn’t lying—if he really doesn’t know where Mulder is—then there is no hope of ever seeing Mulder again.

Despair slips into her bones, begins to paralyze her muscles. Her vision spins and she takes a staggering step forward, pushing past Frohike to open the front door. Wintry air blasts her face as she stumbles down the porch steps and into the shelter of a grove of pine trees. She glances up at the darkening sky through tired eyes and prays for night to consume her. And then she turns her back on the house and throws up.

**

The plan is simple.

Skinner delivers the details to her a few hours after she storms out of the house, but only after trying and failing to get her to eat. He doesn’t bother apologizing or even acknowledging her anger. Instead, he is all FBI boss, briefing her on the facts and only the facts.

In the morning, he will drive her and Alan to the nearest regional airport, where they will board a plane for San Diego and, as Skinner shares through gritted teeth, “return to your normal lives.” To appease friends, family, work, the media, and the shadowy cohort of villains that has done this to her, Scully will sit for one short press briefing about her recent experience. She will tell the world that Fox Mulder kidnapped her and that once he was apprehended, he took his own life. If asked about her own gunshot wound, she will say Mulder inflicted it upon her.

She closes her eyes at this detail. It is beyond excruciating to think about publicly blaming Mulder for her suffering.

Skinner, she learns, is expected to return to the FBI as if nothing happened. He doesn’t offer up the details of his own experience and she doesn’t press.

She doesn’t really care, not about him, and certainly not about the Gunmen. When they try to bid her goodbye the next morning, she refuses to acknowledge them beyond a curt nod. She knows she should thank them for saving her life, for helping them get to safety, for providing a safe house in Montana, for coming to her rescue in the hospital . . . but she can barely look at them, much less speak. She’s afraid if she does open her mouth, it’ll be just to blast them all with another angry tirade.  

But she’s operating on pure tunnel-vision. All she can see is Mulder, alone in this great vast world, alone in his suffering, never to see her ever again.

**

It’s Scully’s fifth time going down to the beach this week. She’s exhausted and her body needs rest, but she every time she closes her eyes, she sees Mulder. It’s been a week since she left the house out in West Virginia, a week since she and Alan flew back to San Diego.

Her life has been intolerable since returning: an unbearable press conference followed by a visit from her mother, an awkward phone call with her boss about taking leave. Oh, and then whatever happened last night.

Alan has visited her apartment every day since they returned to the west coast. He’s been good to her in a way that she hadn’t anticipated, especially since her behavior has been objectively unpleasant. First, the poor man was an unknown onlooker during her heartfelt reunion with Mulder; then he witnessed her enraged outburst at the house; and now that they’re back home, he’s got a front-row seat to her complete physical and emotional withdrawal.

But it hasn’t stopped him from bringing food over every night, or from running to the store for pain meds when her shoulder injury brings her to tears, or from filling her prescription antibiotics, or from driving her to the press briefing, or from changing the channel anytime the news mentions Mulder.

He hasn’t pressed her for anything, not for reciprocity, not for physicality, not for intimacy, not even for conversation. She assumes he’s anxious to return to the way things were between them, but her body feels more closed off than ever. Every night after he leaves, she cranks up the shower and slips inside to cry. Alan hasn’t so much as touched her hand since they left the home in West Virginia.

But tonight as he was preparing to leave, he took a step into her and gave her a quick, friendly parting hug. Their bodies didn’t even touch; just a brief touch of his arms around her shoulders. But it startled her so badly that she jerked away, and then watched with a sense of uncertainty as he apologized, then left.

Simply put, she isn’t ready for another man to touch her body. She’s relieved he hasn’t tried to kiss her. Even though she knows it’s absurd to want this for the rest of her life, she wants Mulder’s lips to be the last hers ever touch.

After Alan leaves, she debates slipping into the shower and giving into the desire to purge her emotions with a long cry. But tonight, the hug seems to have left her bereft, and a shower sounds emotionally exhausting. Instead, she tries to sleep, but like every night, rest doesn’t come easy. She’s considering taking a dose of the sleeping pills she used to rely on so heavily, but something about the prospect of drugging herself has been off-putting since she returned. So instead, after an hour of tossing and turning, she slips into sandals, loose pants, and a sweater, and heads down to the beach, just like she has every night for the past few days.

Her emotions confuse her as much as they overwhelm her. She knows, logically, that her brain is trying to process trauma. She recognizes the symptoms, knows that this vacillation between numbness and hyperarousal is normal. She recognizes that the ping-ponging between disconsolate grief and gut-wrenching anger is also normal. She also recognizes that her anger feels better than her grief, and so she nurses the anger whenever it comes up.

As she stomps down the sand towards the ocean, she feels overcome with fury. Fury towards Mulder, who once again decided he knew best. Fury towards Skinner and Frohike for the same reason. Fury towards Alan for touching her tonight. And most agonizingly, fury towards herself for falling asleep the day Mulder left.

Here on the beach, her muscles tense as that fury washes over her, as it burns through her system. It leaves her gasping aloud and clenching her fists so tightly that her skin breaks under her sharp nails.

The fury sings through her so fast and so feverishly that she keels over, clutching at her aching stomach. She knows she can’t go on like this. The rage inside her is exhausting.

She’s staring down at the waves lapping at her feet when it hits her—for the hundredth time this week—that she may never see Mulder again. That, even if she spent the rest of her life searching for him, she may never find him. As this thought overwhelms her, her anger slowly starts to morph into agony. She pushes at that feeling—no, go away—because while the anger is exhausting,the heartache is literally unbearable. She knows she cannot let herself give into her anguish. But before she can tame the thoughts and feelings whirling in her mind, her body catches up to her grief, and sweat breaks out along the back of her neck. She collapses to her knees. Waves crash around her legs and waist and saltwater stings at the small cuts on her palms. Her eyes burn.  

How is she supposed to go on? What does life even look like without Mulder?

A strangled laugh escapes her. Hell, just a few weeks ago, there was a perfectly clear, perfectly pleasant answer to that question. Life without Mulder looked like Alan, and beach life, and a stable job, and California. Life without Mulder looked like sleeping pills at night, a mental blockade in her mind, and a heart that was partially stonewalled.

And then Mulder re-entered her conscious mind, and now here she is, as bereft as a grieving widow, lonely, heartbroken, angry, disconsolate. A large part of her wishes that he had never tried to save her life in the first place.

What is my life without him in it?

Scully stares out at the sea and her thoughts drift to another lifetime, to all the times she watched her mother valiantly hold back tears as her father sailed away. Her father dictated her mother’s life and emotions for so long. He called the shots with his comings and goings. And Maggie Scully was always expected to accept his choices.

A wave laps at her wrists and Scully’s mind starts to shift, to turn. Why is she, too, letting these men control so much of her life? What if she told them—all of them, Skinner, Mulder, the Gunmen, the super-villains who wanted Mulder dead—that her life is her own? That her choices are hers to make? That she’s in control of her own narrative?

Fuck you, living out the “normal life” that Mulder so desperately thinks she needs.  

Fuck you, California and Alan and a prosperous career as a doctor.

Fuck you, a life built on choices other people made for her.

She stares out at the deep, dark, ocean, and begins to imagine the weight of the waves gliding over her body, begins to fantasize about the calm, peaceful pull of the sea as she slips down, down, down.

She could do it, right here, right now. She could wade out into the ocean and make her own fate. This time, the choice could be hers. Slowly, she rises to her feet and takes a step deeper into the sea. The waves pull at her knees, like they’ve heard her thoughts and relish the idea of this sailor’s daughter joining them in the saltwater depths.

How else can she take back control? she thinks erratically. Is this really the only way?

She stands in the breakers for a long time, so long that the moon rises above her head and tiny fish start to nip at her ankles. Everything and nothing pass through her mind. The hopelessness of her future, the grief that will follow her wherever she goes.

Will her life be bearable?

Grief is a noose around her neck, dragging her deeper into the water. And then, out of nowhere, she feels it. The tiniest, most insignificant trickle of hope.

Because Mulder isn’t dead, nor are they estranged. He’s out there in the world, alive and in love with her, and that means she can find him. As long as she’s alive, she can spend the rest of her life looking for him. And for a few critical moments, this faint sliver of hope is enough.

With one last look at the sea, she drags her feet out of the heavy, wet sand and slowly, resolutely walks back to the beach.