#i know i have to move somewhere better | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

void-thegod · 2 years

Text

Man. I really don't want to be awake right now.

Thinking too much. Maybe I need to eat? Should I exercise more?

I just need to get laid. Too bad I'm very attractive but also very eccentric. And traumatized.

Ugh. Life is so dramatic.

#voidpunk #trans #queer #eccentric #autistic #aspec #aplatonic #i am picky #about people #misanthrope #i just want ONE girlfriend #but the women here are very so-so #and none of them are my type #and the ones that are close are too normal and self absorbed #or full of shit #i know i have to move somewhere better #but that's further down the line #guess i'll be single until I'm 40.#im 33 now..

6 notes · View notes

bumpscosity · 23 days

Text

Actually all gravity falls shipping wars in back when the show was airing were hilarious. i once saw two ppl arguing abt wether pinecest or stancest was better like guys i think its better if we just throw both of you into the bottomless pit forever

#mabcifica wasn't mainstream until like 2019 which left dipcifica raining supreme on the pacifica front #but the billdips and dipcificas were ALWAYS at eachothers throats #oh yeah and wendip too of course. it was just this trifecta of fighting #and everyone would be screaming and throwing chairs and shit snd then someone in the back would go 'i ship stan and goldie :)'#and for just a moment the fighting would stop bc everyone agreed that was endgame..... and then the candips would show up #like candips never did anything to anyone but bc they liked roadside attraction in 2016 they were actually hellspawn to everyone #candips were caught in the crossfire of rage. shoutout to all the 2016 candip shippers you deserved better #i know i saw mabill stuff a couple times but it had absolutely no impact on anything. net 0 change #like i said in that last post once the finale aired everyone kinda just. stopped fighting bc there was So Much Happening #there's a real life bill statue somewhere out there we can't be wasting our time here #but i think actually maybe blubsland going canon killed it all too. like we all agreed that was a huge win for everyone #we all put aside our differences for just a moment to applaud The Gay Cops #'they were disneys first gay couple' WRONG goat and a pig #all this to say shipping wars are dumb and if someone's being gross just kill them or something idk #you don't have to make a whole big thing outta it just block them and move on fighting isn't worth it #it is funny in hindsight tho. and if fiddauthors wanna start a war with billfords i'll be watching from the sidelines with popcorn #sassy speaks #gf

27 notes · View notes

kingkatsuki · 8 months

Text

Bakugou, who gets the most inexplicable amount of rage whenever you call his All Might collectible action figures toys.

#I know I posted somewhere about Bakugou turning his all might figures around before you have sex #but what if he doesn’t and it’s YOU thats creeped out by them #like just 50 all might figures staring at you when you’re completely naked in Bakugou’s bed #and when you’re moving in together and helping each other pack you’re telling him he better get a room for em & not keep them in the bedroom #but also imagine his kids wanting to play with daddy’s toys and you’re laughing #cause you know you have to explain to your children why they’re not allowed to play with daddy’s toys😭😭😭

64 notes · View notes

sysig · 1 day

Photo

DAX “Cold and Unromantic” SCII is what he’s called (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #DAX #ZEX #Fighting me absolutely every step of the way lol #Like he Doesn't want to snuggle with ZEX #It's Too Dangerous (he's stubborn) and Totally Inappropriate (and has a crush on him) uh huh DAX okay #I'm glad they finally did just a little bit <3 And DAX got to be all grumpy waking up alone lol you're so transparent DAX #Hghhghghhh Him ;; He!!!#''He was better off not knowing'' Who DAX! Who's better off not knowing!!!!!#Every softness and sweetness he points at ZEX and yet refuses to share kills me wagh #And then his vague wording on Totally Not Minding that ZEX had his hand on his arm (it better stay right there)#And not what DAX? Not move somewhere else on your body or away at all? Trapping him right in place #I love playing in vagueity with him so badly agh everything he Doesn't do or Can't do or Won't do like DAX!! You're so repressed!!!!#You're already married please just admit you're in love already hwagh #The tension is awful <3 <3 <3 #ZEX was adorable the entire scene of course hehe ♪ He looks so pretty in his uniform! Little lump on his back for the bandages #Enjoying DAX smoothing him down hehe ZEX <3 #And genuinely so fun to have DAX melt down into a puddle haha ♫ Humans really aren't meant to be upright that's just facts #Spine is an evolutionary nightmare #He's had such a rough day fighting and talking with humans hehe <3 Falls asleep first to balance ZEX nodding off first the previous night #I love themmm ;;<3 #Be close and snuggle more! Hehe

9 notes · View notes

gothamsaved · 13 days

Text

Last thing OOC before I actually do those written replies—- just more or less wanna explain why I haven’t been reaching out to people or answering back much OOC lately.

I have been going through a lot irl and my mental health has been in the absolute trash. I’ve been socially withdrawing and isolating again because I am convinced I am a burden or me rambling about any of my muses will leave people to feel left out or ignored and its left me feeling like shit and scared to really get my gushing out anywhere while feeling “safe” if that makes sense. Or in private? I worry I’ll annoy people regardless cause 99% of the time it is just my unhinged ass sending memes of Batman and going “cretchur” or “lookit this freak of a man” over doing anything really, truly productive.

So I’ve been in a state of “You’re too annoying you’re boring them they will replace you with someone better who can actually do this thing right” and it’s been severely affecting my ability to reach out among irl stress adding onto the list.

I will however try my best to reach out more through throwing asks ( prompted / unprompted if I seen Askmemes! ) at mutuals who let me know it is absolutely okay to interact and be a pest, as I know I can’t hold much of a conversation these days, not sure when it will lift enough I can confidently plot and talk out potential dynamics, but I want it to be known if we follow each other, I am interested in writing with you, absolutely. I am just not good with starting things up, which is why I encourage the sending of asks back to me so we can see how muses interact before we plot things out.

I really don’t give a fuck about my follower count, I don’t do the whole collecting people and muses thing as that is a huge trigger of mine as well. I am here to build up meaningful stories with people who want to genuinely put in the time and effort into getting to know each other’s muses. I never want anyone to feel collected. You guys have so much creativity and passion for the muses you write I am always blown away by the OOC posts rambling about them, the edits, the well thought out replies.

I want to do more with you guys. I’m not gonna let my depression kick my shit in and prevent it, but I will take time to have that courage to plot in private again. Until my mental health gets better, I hope this will be okay in the meantime.

#' ◁ ılı||ılı ▷ … ¹¹. 𝙾𝚞𝚝 𝙾𝚏 𝙱𝚊𝚝𝚜 🦇#No but… fr #I just finally got my sleep schedule back to normalish hours after a few weeks of running of like… 4-5 hours a day #so as u can imagine I’m still a little fucked up until things regulate again.#Last 3 months now have been a constant hell of not knowing if I’ll have a place to live along with financial stress so #It’s been a lot mentally in always being prepared for the worst case scenario or needing to pack up to move somewhere new #Things have been stabilizing now finally but with it comes everything else getting back to “normal”#But things are getting better it’s just been one hell of an adjustment period you know?

8 notes · View notes

arttsuka · 4 months

Text

Does anyone else become almost completely dysfunctional when there are other people in the same room? Talking specifically about cooking

#I know how to cook I swear but if there are other people with me trying to 'help' I suddenly cant cook #they move stuff that I've taken out of cupboards or the fridge. like no leave them there. if I want them somewhere else I'll do it myself #it's different when I ask them to bring me something (because then I ask for help) and when they decide they have to help #also they 'know better' so they always tell me what to do #like dad you haven't cooked in years let me boil my pasta in peace #but also it really bothers me when they're in the kitchen in general when I'm cooking #no don't come here to take something. tell me and I'll get it for you #is that normal?#am i weird #not art #text #one time I put 4 cups of milk instead of 3/4 cups because they kept going in and out of the kitchen :D

7 notes · View notes

lorephobic · 6 months

Text

idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?

#live with my best friend in the whole entire world who. honest to god makes me the happiest person alive.#like im always waxing poetic about her in the tags on posts about platonic love #and i talk about her like she put the stars in the skies because for real it feels like she did for me #she is. the most important person in my life #and every day i feel grateful just to come home and sit with her #like honest to god i cannot imagine a future that is better than this #if i have a bad day i get to come home and my best friend in the world will make me laugh #what more could i ever ask for #but tonight we talked and she made it abundantly clear that. even if i do everything right #even if i'm the perfect roommate and the best friend i can be #in just over a year #when she's making enough money for it #she plans on moving into a place of her own #which like. makes sense for her. of course we were going to get to this point.#but i just. don't know what i'm going to do.#and it kills me that we're on different pages because for some reason i thought this was a long term thing #i thought we were going to move into a house together #i was just telling my coworker this week that we need to move into our forever home soon which was partially a joke #but also. even if i was making a million dollars a year.#i would still want to be here. with her.#or somewhere else. with her.#like it's so hard to imagine a future without her. it breaks my heart and scares the shit out of me.#and i know i can't afford it here. and i can't move in with strangers. and i'm working my dream job but i'm scared that i'm going to have t #give it all up and move back east because. i can't do this alone. and she's all i have. and all i ever wanted.#and she's leaving.#she doesn't want to be with me.#sry this is so fucking. ugh. idk. i just don't know what to do.#for real might just drop everything and move to chicago if it comes down to it ksdkfljdfs #its what sufjan would have wanted #fucked up terrible no good week

8 notes · View notes

opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months

Text

...

#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before #is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things #the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the #weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad #not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a #prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country #my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for #treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad #as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain #shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing #to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird #when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk #i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach #out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home #somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long #term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting #whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot #i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors #i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival #unrelated

10 notes · View notes

an-assortment-of-forks · 8 months

Text

there are doctors there are hospitals there are specialists there is medicine there are systems in place so people do not have to suffer and be tortured under their own chronic pain daily and yet. they're all fucking inaccessible to the people who need it most!!! to what I would argue is most disabled people!! I'm so fucking done with the medical system.

#today is an absolutely wretched pain day that makes me want to not be here anymore but guess what!#wasted a whole year trying to convince my doctors I was in significant and disableing pain daily and the best they could do #is tell me to go to PT and to wait 6 months and tell them if it gets better #to prescribe some shit like gabapentin or otc pain meds and write me off #tell me they'll get new X-rays to see if it got worse by the summer #disability exists!! specialists exist! good doctors fucking exist!! somewhere!!! I'm sure!!#but here I sit. in excruciating amounts of pain unable to convince any fucking doctors of anything #and that year I spent pushing myself to the limit is wasted bc at the very end of it all only one guy listened to me #and he said no one in their giant ass facility could diagnose me #so I'm back to square one bc I got a new job which means new insurance and new doctors to try and convince again #I just want to be on disability so i can want to be alive again #I'm so frustrated and in pain constantly #what are people like me who have to work 40hrs to afford to live but don't have any family to rely on supposed to do??#just die? am i supposed to continue to work until im too disabled to move and be profitable unless i get lucky?#bc some fucking doctor finally decides to actually listen???#ive tried ALL THE DAMN TRICKS TOO. telling them a friend has it and thats how i found out. that my previous doctor was looking into it #etc etc #I'm SO done living like this i am exhausted.#and to know that i COULD BE HELPED. RIGHT NOW. is the worst fucking part #these systems are in place so people like me dont have to fucking suffer.#but i cant even do anything about it bc i have a cat.

12 notes · View notes

yanderespamton78 · 15 days

Text

hhngngggg why must i be doomed to forever be the Weird Kid who constantly needs things to be changed around so i dont have a meltdown and is terrified of most people and cant work in any loud or busy environments and has to be with someone i know all day or i will have a panic attack and hnnhnnghnghngggg

#vent kinda #ughhh #not coping well with the new school #ive been there for 2 days so maybe itll get better #im waiting until the october half term #that will be my checkpoint #then if by then im still freaking out all the time i will do smth #im getting flashbacks to last year ough #last year when school started i just couldnt cope and i ended up moving classes and going to what was more or less therapy #i do nott want a repeat of thatttt #its not faiiirrr how come other people can just be fine all of the time what the scallop #i dont see any other people freaking out over this everyone else is bloody fine #it makes me feel like im being dramatic or going insane because everyone else went through it why do all these changes need to be made just #because ive now come along #does everyone go through this???? does everyone feel so anxious all the time???? do i just have to sit and deal with it?????#am i just spoilt and dramatic and not used to constantly getting my way or is it weird to be so terrified of somewhere i go every day #or maybe im just like this cus its the first few days and im being dramatic who knows

3 notes · View notes

digirainebow · 2 months

Text

dug out my childhood mp3 player during my break, by the way. used it to listen to music while i was offline and it was such an experience. i could only listen to it when i went outside, though. there's so much music i can only listen to when i feel close to nature. there's a lot of music i can't listen to out here

#digi discusses #i think i figured out part of what was going on for me and it has helped a lot just knowing but. its rough now in a different way #im still not emotionally stable enough to be on my own yet. but i know the longer i stay out here the more unhappy i will remain.#the depression of living somewhere i hate vs the debilitating anxiety stopping me from moving out on my own.#this is why i need a new therapist i want to get better faster. at this point i need to #i know. take your time theres no rush life is long etc. but its hard when you know what you want and you cant have it yet.

4 notes · View notes

pyrriax · 5 months

Text

hi everyone remind me to never look at deviantart again

#haunted ecosystem #probably jsut take this post at face value tags are if youre really curious 👍#i was trying to find something. immediately got blasted with a person who i did not want confirmation was out of prison is out #if im weird the next few days this has been an un-fun experience 👍i just wanted to look for some furry bases ok not. dread.#i just wanted to work on beest & saturn </3 #actually feel nauseous ah this is going to be fun im going to go. draw things. do something. i need to get rid of this dread #why did he fucking follow my new account there? why? didnt he get enough? didnt he fucking get enough god i.#sorry chat im feeling things and if i remember this later i'll probably delete these tags but i need to just put this somewhere #im not a kid anymore i can handle this i shouldnt be this scared but fuck i am. maybe it wasnt just paranoia! joy joy joy oh joy!#tomorrow will be better tomorrow i'll forget about this and i'll move on like i never saw it and i'll continue being happy #i have people that love and care about me and that i talk to every day i have people that i trust and know i can rely on #i don't have to be scared anymore i don't need to worry i'll be fine and that has to be true because things are better now

3 notes · View notes

thebleedingeffect · 6 months

Text

.