#i know im only 22 but still. it feels different

[amygdalae]

its wild playing fallout 3 now im in my 20s. instead of when I first played in middle school and was like "oh im so cool and badass and 19 :^)" It's now more like, "oh god this poor teenager must be so stressed out I have to keep them safe."

[kindestofkings]

what came first, the chicken or the dickhead?

[smau]

f1driver!reader x lando norris (eventually, friends to lovers ofc)

authors note: this is so dramatic and for what! sorry to pierre for making you the villian, and lets pretend ferrari isnt as shit as it currently is! lol enjoy, would love to know what you think <333

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo and others

yourusername tough day in the office today, mexico '22 is just not to be I guess. As always a learning curve and we will grow from todays DNF 😞

See you soon Brazil !!

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ynfan1 we are still so proud of you! keep pushing 👍

f1fan this is literally what you get for trying to compete in a MALE sport

f1fan2 fr she's bringing down pierre and the team f1fan3 too emotional for the big leagues ynfan2 stfu you do realise your favourite MALE drivers dnf all the time aswell

alphataurif1 we come back stronger!!

yourusername 👊👊

alex_albon lily is wondering would going for ice cream cheer you up?

yourusername I love her, yes please 🥹 landonorris I'm coming yourusername nuh huh its for us pointless drivers! landonorris come on it was only 2..

f1fan4 lando norizz trying to make it a double date lollll

f1fan5 bro chill these two have been friends since literal birth

alphataurif1

liked by yourusername and others

alphataurif1 the difference 2 weeks can make! our girl yourusername is starting pole position on sunday here in brazil 🔥

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yourusername woohoo roll on sunday!!

ynfan1 go bestie go !

ynfan2 AT moving up💪

yourusername

liked by landonorris and others 

yourusername great work achieved today, the car and track felt good. hopefully we can convert this position into some points to finish of the season on a high, all we need is team work on the track (and for max's alarm to not go off so he misses the race 😀)

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maxverstappen1 why the personal attack

yourusername WHY do you have to win every week, surely you are bored by it by now ... charles_leclerc I agree, maybe take a week off? f1fan2 hahah these two i'm obsessed

landonorris please do well but not TOO well, just stay behind me 👍

yourusername and look at your ass all race? hard pass

ynfan1 that mention of teamwork is a lil suss...

ynfan2 not really?? it is a team sport ynfan1 yeah but do you not find it weird how unfriendly yourusername and pierregasly are, despite them being on the same team? f1fan tbf I have always noticed how forced their videos are together. and they dont even follow each other

yourusername

liked by landonorris and others 

yourusername lollll ruining my career one interview at a time, but at least we hit the clubs looking fire 🔥

p.s. I stand by what I've said I only have apologies for two people 1) my pr manager (who I dont pay enough for this) and 2) charles for linking your name to this hot mess!

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landonorris it's so great being the unproblematic one 😎

yourusername does mcclaren need another golden driver from bristol??? I fear im out of a seat soon .. ynfan1 this is so sad you are way to talented of a driver to be out of a suit

charles_leclerc No worries 😅 Just make sure you buy me dinner next time before dragging me into the chaos. 🍽️🤷‍♂️

yourusername you got it prince of monaco! f1fan2 PLEASE PLEASE DATE ynfan2 ewww no her and lando are so so in love they're just too blind and stupid

danielricciardo absolute legend behaviour mate!!

yourusername learning from the best danny ric 😎

alphataurif1 and yourusername

Liked by landonorris and others

alphataurif1 From grid battles to glory laps! 🏁✨ Our unstoppable driver just clinched her FIRST WIN at the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix! 🏆 Watch out, world – she's rewriting the history books and leaving her mark on the track. 🚀🌟

#AlphaQueen #AbuDhabiWinner

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danielricciardo What a race! Big congrats, yourusername. That first win feeling is something else! Enjoy every moment!

alex_albon: absolutely smashed it! huge congratulations on your first win!

carlossainz55 felicidades!!

susie_wolff: breaking barriers and making history! huge congratulations on your first win!

yourusername AHHHHH I CANT BELIEVE IT ! I LOVE YOU TEAM !!

ynfan1 lando where is your congrats you are slippinnn!!

landonorris

Liked by yourusername and others

landonorris I've never been this happy to lose, but it's pretty cool seeing your best friend win in her rookie year. EVEN if she beaten me to it 😞

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yourusername LANDOOOO you are a the bestest friend ever

yourusername would not have gotten here with out you, my partner in crime <3

ynfan1 best friend?? y'all are still so blind

f1fan everytime you call her your best friend you reaffirm the lando NORIZZ name

danielricciardo facts alex_albon facts carlossainz55 facts charles_leclerc facts yukitsunoda0511 facts maxverstappen1 facts landonorris CAN YOU SHUT UP

scuderiaferrari

liked by landonorris and others

scuderiaferrari oh we thought we should just let you know our driver line up for 2023 👀 say hello to the dynamic addition to the Ferrari family, the wonderfully feisty yourusername! get ready for a season full of speed, passion, and fierce competition. Welcome to Maranello! 🇮🇹

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ynfan1 HOLY F*CK

susie_wolff wow congrats yourusername!! wishing you all the best !

yourusername thank you so much susie! your advice the last few weeks has help me so much ! ynfan1 I love when girls support girls 💓

yourusername can't wait to get started! forza ferrari ❤️❤️

charles_leclerc this is going to be incredible! congrats !!

yourusername thank you charles <33 be prepared to be sick of me lol ynfan1 so happy shes got a teammate who acc is a decent guy

ynfan2 LOLLLL I bet pierre is sick

landonorris slayed 💅

yourusername 😂😂 f1fan watch out mr norizz her new teammate is mr steal-your-girl

[cupidsblonde]

in which reader and Choso have been talking online for a while and reader has gotten herself a pretty boy appointment

content includes: size difference, age difference (reader is 22 choso is 36) mating press, back-shots, reverse cowgirl, tit fucking“idk if it will fit” “ill make it fit” big dick big tits

inspo: my lovely favorite jjk author getodrools

any picture sent my reader there will be different links with different skin tones!

I thought I’d write something for jjk! I’m into all sorts of fandoms anime and all !! Feel free to tell me any other fandoms you’d be interested in me writing for !!

monday 10:23 am

my fav dick<33

hey baby watching those videos of u fuckin that pretty pussy <33

Attached: 1 Video

his fav pussy<33

your so biggg:)

you’d stuff me so full baby

Attached: 1 Photo (1 2 3)

my fav dick<33

i wish i could stuff your tight pussy baby:(

your tits look sooo good

maybe we could meet up?? lol

im only 30 mins away🤷🏻‍♂️

his fav pussy<33

when r u freeeee :)

im free friday we could frl meet up !! :))

my fav dick<33

thats great bc im also free friday babe;)

i have to go, duty calls but maybe we could

call tonight and play with a dildo of yours<33

his fav pussy<33

ooo yay !! can’t wait for tonight and to see you :))

my fav dick<33 hearted a message

it was true that you couldn’t wait to see him, you where a little nervous but he made you feel good and he makes you happy. but his cock was huge! you really didn’t know if you could handle all of that. but your pussy still hasn’t been fucked but anyone but yourself !! you have huge dildos so you think that you would be able to take him.

incoming call from my fav dick<33

“hey baby” choso says happily but still in his voice that you find so sexy “heyy which one are we using tonight?” “the big one” “perfect daddy !! i already have it let me put it inside” just as your about to slip it in he stops you “let me see” “of course daddy!”

choso gets to watch you play with yourself and shove the dildo in and out of your tight pussy while he jerks his dick

“s-stop” choso says into the phone and you listen, and stop.

“daddy please let me cum im so close”

“cum for me sweetheart” choso groans out as his load shoots out from his huge dick.

after both of you cum you guys talk for a little while and end up falling asleep on the phone.

friday 8:00am

my fav dick<33

what time will you be ready for me baby?

can’t wait to see you

his fav pussy<33

anytime daddy:)

my fav dick<33

okay then ill be there around 9:15 pm okay?

cant’t wait baby;)

his fav pussy<33

ekk !! cant wait:)) 9:10pm

my fav dick<33

im here baby

when you read that text your hands became clammy but your pussy is tingling !! you opened the door and you where met with a large man! you knew he was tall, and with the way you could see his dick grow when he laid eyes on you. it was going to break you in half

“hey baby” he says with a smile and you let him walk in and close the door behind him. you grab the chest of his hoodie and pull him down to you he had to be at-least 6’2. you start kissing him, he seamed a little surprised that you wanted to get started all ready but he pulls away “jump” he mumbled into your ear.

you jump and he grabs your under thighs and you wrap them around his waist and you continue to make out with him. he knew the layout of your house from the many times you would walk around with him on face time and headed over to your bedroom.

he opens the door and wraps him other arm around your body to support you as he kisses your neck. he knew you needed foreplay. as he continues to lay sloppy kisses along your neck he finds your sweet spot. you let out a gasp and a rather loud moan, thats how he knew he had found it. he sits on your bed with you on top of him.

your grinding on his dick as you let out soft groans and moans as he keeps sucking on your neck. he slowly moves a hand to your ass, and finds him way to your panties. he starts massaging the bottom of your thighs with his other hand.

you pull your neck away from him and peel your legs away from his hands and you moves your hands to his zippered pants, you pull both his pants and boxers down. he’s already hard. your met with a practically a third leg!

“wow.. your just as big(if not bigger) as i saw online!” you say with a smile as you take his balls into your palm. you cup them with one of your hands and start pumping his cock with the other. you start kissing his tip to the base. lick down and you put just your mouth on his tip and you start sucking

he groans. loudly. “fuck baby” he says as he grabs you by your hair and pushes you so you take him even deeper in your mouth. as you continue to massage his balls you feel his cock twitch when you suck. thats when he moans loudly. he starts fucking his cum inside of your mouth.

“swallow” you do as told and you swallow every last drop of his seed. when you do you open your mouth and show him, his cock is standing up again. your grabs you by the shoulders and he pulls you onto his lap and starts making out with you. before his cock almost finds its way through your panties, he lays you down on your back.

he wastes no time with shoving your tiny skirt up, which he only had to move little because it was so tiny and she slides your hot pink thong down your legs and takes them, drapes it along his dick and twists it so its all wrapped around his dick, he could feel your wetness on the thong still. he starts pumping his cock and at that time he moves his mouth to your pussy

he pushes your maxi tank top up and finds you arent wearing a bra, he uses that hand that isnt pumping his cock to pinch and twist your hard buds that lived on your massive tits. he has been sucking and licking at your clit and when he stops pumping his cock and peels the panties that are now covered in his pre cum, he suddenly moves his tongue to dart and and out of your pussy stops every once in a while to suck at your throbbing hole.

“im gonna cum” you say repeatedly and fast and when he hears this you feel him grin against your pussy and flip you onto his lap, spank your ass which makes you moan loud and hard then start rubbing your clit. he starts picking up the speed and thats when you scream out his name and cum. “oh yes choso !!”

his dick is standing once again and with not warning, he stands from his spot where he was on his knees on the floor and pushes your legs to your shoulders. “you ready baby?” he says and before you could answer, it was yes of course, his huge tip was sliding up and down your folds.

you moan out when his tip gets to your throbbing hole and he pushes just the tip in. “ i dont know if it will fit” “i’ll make it fit down worry baby”he slowly pushes inside and groans. it takes a little while for you to reach his base but when you do, you can see a bulge in your stomach. he was being so sweet but you wanted him to be mean to you, even if it was just for a little bit. “choke and slap me please” you moan out “ive got to fuck you harder then” you nod and he starts thrusting into you while choking you, but not hurting you.

he suddenly stops fucking you like that after such a quick pace, you whimper and beg him to keep going. suddenly he flips you onto your front. “arch for me” you arch. “i warmed you up with that now your gonna get back shots with this big cock” he puts his dick into your needy little pussy and starts fucking you, hard. “anything you want daddy” you moan out.

as he continues to mercilessly pound your pussy, hitting your g spot every time. you tell him your gonna cum. when he hears this he goes even faster. when you let out a scream, he keeps going until your squirting all over his dick. your body is shaking and he flips you onto your back and he presses his dick in between your tits. “tit fuck me baby” so you listen and press your tits together with his dick in between, and start milking his cock “yea just like that baby”

“come ride me” he says sitting on the bed, you where ridding him then suddenly, he wraps his arms around your waist and starts fucking you hard from under you. That’s when he finishes, but this time inside if you. And you where okay with it. You finish all over his cock, your juices mixing together and when he pulls out he fingers you to keep everything inside. He grabs his and yours discarded clothes, and helps you up.

“you good baby?” he chuckles when your knees buckle and you fall back onto the bed. he gets you new panties and helps you get dressed into your pj’s. he gets dressed himself and lays down behind you.

“im glad we met up” you say with a smile when you turn to him. “me too sweet girl” he says sleepily. eventually you both doze off.

in the morning you wake up to him nor being in your bed, so you go looking for him and you find him in your kitchen. making you breakfast. you smile and turn back to go to your room. when he enters the room he says “ i knew you where in the kitchen you know?” he says kissing your forehead and giving you the food and drink, setting your drink on the nightstand.

after you finish your food he stays with you in bed for a while, in comfortable silence. “can i be your boyfriend?” he suddenly questions. you turn to him with a huge smile and say “of course!!” you excitedly say. “im so glad.” he says kissing your forehead and dozing off, you not long after him.

[holmsister]

I think one of the things Dungeon Meshi is definitely about is how different people deal with being an outsider/marginalised/neurodivergent/what have you and basically what im getting at is that Kabru is TEXTBOOK "high functioning [insert diagnosis here]". Its that how they say it still? Don't care.

Basically. This man shows up and you listens to him talk and see how his party treats him and you think. Oh this is a cool guy who has his shit together. And then after like two pages you find out that he has constant flashbacks to Utaya that make him completely freeze, anxiety attacks, thought spirals, is incapable of analyzing his own feelings, is a stuttering mess when the stakes are high, has never done a chore in his life, keeps putting himself in triggering situations and re-traumatising himself, and the icing on the cake is when you read the extra material and it turns out he regularly forgets to eat and lives in a depression nest of dirty clothes and self-medicates insomnia with alcohol and also is 22. Which also kind of puts Misilril not wanting to let him go in another light - yeah for sure she's controlling and infantilising and also its not like she was really helping his issues but also she was not entirely wrong in her judgement. This man does NOT know how to take care of himself. He knows how to do the bare minimum so when he shows up at work the next day he can fool his coworkers into thinking hes got it together enough. For a bit.

He is DEEPLY unwell and he knows it but he is carried by the desperate wish to avoid another catastrophe. If he stops for a moment he KNOWS he'll collapse so he doesn't.

I also think this is why him acting nurse to Mithrun is such an important part of his arc. Its like. This person who has spent all of his adult life focused on a single objective disregarding everything else is faced with what happens when you do that for too long. And the result is a wet tissue of a creature who looks like he doesn't know where he is most of the time.

He is a man on the brink. I have no doubt he felt relieved when he decided he could trust Laios - not even in a Labru way, straight up because he knew he could not keep going like this.

But also like. Of all the characters in the manga, I think Senshi and Kabru are the most lonely ones. Except Senshi seems to be OK with solitude - for sure it's not entirely healthy to be alone for as long as he was but he definitely did well enough. He is very good at taking care of himself. Meanwhile Kabru *knows* a lot of people but can you really say he has friends? Rin, maybe, arguably, but even she does not seem to truly know him, you know? He keeps himself hidden from everyone. I think the only time we see him entirely honest is when he says to Laios that he wanted to be his friend, and hes so shocked when it comes out, you can tell he did not mean to say it. And differently from Senshi, he does NOT fare well alone. He likes people, he needs people. Again compare with Mithrun - he has like a squad of people taking care of him. If Kabru had a breakdown of that size can you say his party would go out of its way to help? Im not sure. Not because they're bad people, but because he's simply not that intimate with any of them.

Idk man it just struck me all of a sudden. Laios is weird and offputting and doesn't care about other humans the way Kabru does and YET he is infinitely more successful at building deep, meaningful relationships and taking care of himself as well. I think this is part of why Kabru is so fascinated with him as well. He can tell Laios has something he doesn't have. Wait this is turning into a whole another post I'll write this next time.

[heartsfromia]

the only exception — k. soonyoung

pairing: non-idol! soonyoung x f!reader

word count: 4,834

genre: romcom, fluffy, age-gap, older!reader x younger!soonyoung uwu

warnings: nothing really, just don't fall in love with a guy younger than yourself (speaking from experience)

author's notes: reader is a few years older than hoshi. i never proofread guys im sorry (i should tho)

There was rarely ever any good when Soonyoung gets a call from his mother on a Friday afternoon. Don’t get him wrong, he knows his mom tends to call at random times of the week—mainly to make sure he’s eaten while living alone, close to campus, and far from home, or if he needs any money to pay bills or any other expenses. Most of them are a ruse to cover up the fact that she misses him, and his presence at home. And ever since he entered his final semester in college, he could feel his mother’s presence sitting on his shoulder, whispering to him to find a girlfriend, find someone to settle with.

However, when it comes to phone calls specifically on Fridays, Soonyoung has noticed a pattern. Since it’s the last of the five week days, and the weekend is at their fingertips, he found that his mother would call him to ask if he was free for a lunch with his parents, and guests.

Who might those guests be? Parents to whoever it was his mother was planning on arranging him with. The years might go by, traditions might be forgotten, but when it comes to Mrs. Kwon, she’ll always stick to the tradition of marriage before hitting 25.

Soonyoung knew the moment her name appeared on his screen at exactly three in the afternoon, that she has another willing parent on her hand that would like to meet him for their child.

With a heavy sigh, Soonyoung took a step out of the library where he was hoping to spend his time in before his next class, before sliding the call and placing it by his ear. “Eomma, what’s wrong?”

“Soonyoung-ah, are you free tomorrow? Your father and I want to have lunch together,” she asked, her tone chipper than usual—another sign of an arrangement.

“With you and appa? No one else?” Soonyoung egged, causing his mother to chuckle lightly.

“How did you know?” She laughed, Soonyoung rolling his eyes and suppressing a sigh from leaving his lips. “There is a friend of your father’s that I want you to meet, he has a daughter that’s around your age and is on her way of becoming a lawyer—I want you to meet her.”

“I’ve said so many times, you don’t need to do this, I’ve barely gotten the hang of college, let alone plan a wedding,” Soonyoung protested, his hands moving in grand gestures around him in frustration.

“You are 20 years old, and you don’t have a girlfriend, what are you going to do once you finish college, Soonyoung?”

“I don’t know, maybe get a job, build my credit, invest in a future and then maybe consider marriage,” he explains, his exasperation over this repeated conversation evident in his sarcastic tone.

“You know, at your age, your father and I were engaged.” Soonyoung groaned, rubbing the ache that was forming in his temples as he hears his mother go on a rant how his parents had met when they were in their twenties, before tying the knot at the ripe age of 22. Despite the obvious generational differences, and how back then, marriage felt like an obligation rather than an option, his mother was adamant on having both her kids—Soonyoung and his older sister—to be wed off before they hit 25. To which she hoped she’d have grandchildren running around before her own children hit 30. It was an entire plan in the Kwon household.

“It’s different now, eomma,” he reiterated, “I don’t need to get married so quick, can’t you focus on Minkyung instead? She’s engaged, right? So you can bother her instead.”

“Yes, she’s engaged, but she’s still working and she doesn’t want to get married this year,” she explained, “right now, I want to focus on finding someone for you, do you really want to stay single until your thirties?”

“If I could,” Soonyoung muttered, but luckily his mother didn’t hear it.

“It’s time that you try to settle for a lovely girl—”

“I have a girlfriend already, eomma, and I don’t think she’ll be happy to know that I’m being set up on a blind date,” Soonyoung informed, the words slipping out faster than he, himself, realized and before he knew it, the damage was done.

His mother was silent on the other line, seemingly unconvinced, so Soonyoung added to the lies. “I met her a couple of months ago, I wasn’t sure if it was serious enough to tell you, but I’m happy with her.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I wouldn’t have gone through so much to find someone for you, Soonyoung-ah!”

“I told you I met her a couple of months ago, I wasn’t sure if it was serious then.”

“Is it serious now?”

“Yes.”

“Then I want to meet her.” And this, everyone, is why you shouldn’t lie to your mother.

“You want to… meet her?”

“Yes, of course, if you’re telling the truth then the lunch tomorrow doesn’t need to happen,” she explained, and for a second, Soonyoung was overjoyed. Before he realized what that entailed. “Does Sunday work? You can bring her, and we can have lunch at a restaurant.”

“Sunday?” He repeated, stunned. That was two days from now, he has to find a girlfriend in two days.

“Yes, I will make a reservation for four and you can bring her along.”

“Wait, eomma, you don’t—”

“Yeobo, I told you to— ugh, I’ll see you Sunday, Soonyoung-ah, don’t forget to eat dinner!” Before Soonyoung could make up an excuse. another lie, to avoid having to meet his parents with his apparent girlfriend, the phone call disconnected and all he could hear was the racing beat of his heart.

Returning back into the library, he walked back to the table he occupied with his friend, Seokmin, a distant look on his face as he sat back down.

“Where did you go? I almost thought you ditched me,” Seokmin stated, before realizing his friend was not listening. He tapped Soonyoung’s shoulder, causing him to jump. “What the hell happened to you?”

“I need a girlfriend.”

Stunned, Seokmin stared at his friend before looking down on himself, then back at Soonyoung. “Well, I don’t fall under your requirements, so…”

A low groan rumbled in Soonyoung’s throat as he covered his face in frustration. “How am I going to find a girlfriend before Sunday?”

“Is it your mom again?” Without removing his hands from his face, Soonyoung nodded. Seokmin threw his head back in laughter, earning glares from people who were studying quietly around him, the man sending apologetic looks around him. His eyes scowered the relatively crowded library of campus, an idea appearing. “What about finding one here? I’m sure someone out here is bored enough to be your girlfriend for a day.”

Soonyoung lifted his head, glaring at his friend. “That is a… good idea.”

Bewildered, Seokmin lifted his brow. “Really?” Soonyoung ignored him, body turning left and right as he tried to find anyone that looked alone and approachable.

“Soon, you’re not actually going to—” But before Seokmin could finish his sentence, his friend was gone and heading to a table where someone was seated alone, eyes focused on a cellphone instead of a book, or laptop.

That person was you.

You found yourself walking to a nearby university’s library on your day off, your apartment serving no purpose to clear your mind of boredom, and since you didn’t have any work to do, you chose to play a video game on your phone instead. The crowded atmosphere made you feel more productive about your day even if you were just on your phone playing games.

However, your focus on the offline game was broken when a presence appeared beside you, tapping your shoulder timidly. You looked up, finding a guy with a small smile on his lips as he greets you, “Hi, is this seat taken?” He gestured to the empty chair beside you and you shook your head, assuming he wanted to take to his own table, but was surprised when he sat down.

“Can I help you?” You asked cautiously, saving your game before placing your phone down.

“Yes, actually,” Soonyoung began, fidgeting with his fingers. “This might be a weird request, especially since we don’t know each other, but is there a possibility you’re interested in being my fake girlfriend to meet my parents on Sunday for lunch?” Soonyoung almost said it in one breath, and once the words were out, he held said breath, awaiting for your response.

The most expected response was to be cursed out, called a weirdo for thinking that his request was appropriate to ask the first girl he saw alone in a public place. He held his breath, waiting for the slap, or insults, or both as he stared at you processing it.

“Sure.”

“Yeah, I understa— what?” He was taken aback by your quick agreement to his bizarre request. “What did you just say?”

Your lips pursed as your shrug, turning to face him. “I said sure, I don’t have much going on in my life, anyway.” You were telling the truth. Your everyday routine was a back and forth of work and your apartment, because you weren’t necessarily happy at your job either, you never felt the need to connect with your co-workers about non-work-related things, minimizing going out.

The guy beside you also looked desperate, and you didn’t get bad vibes from him either, so it didn’t seem like a lose-lose situation.

“Really?” You nodded curtly. His hand rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous chuckle slipped past his lips. “Oh, well… Uhm, I didn’t know I’d get this far, to be honest.”

“Is there a reason why you need a fake girlfriend to accompany you have lunch with your parents?” You asked, hoping it’ll guide him into elaborating his plan more in depth than what his initial approach was.

“Ah, well, my mom is trying to set me up on blind dates, hoping that I’d marry before I reach 25, and obviously—” He gestured to himself, “—I haven’t even graduated yet.”

Your eyes widened, sitting up straight. “Oh, you go to school here?”

Soonyoung nodded, confused by your question. “Don’t you?”

You shook your head, his question eliciting a light laugh from you. “No, I’m just here because I’m bored—it’s my day off.”

He blinks a couple times, before asking, “You work?” You nod. “You’re older than me?” Again, you nod and he immediately ducks his head, bowing at you briefly. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine,” you uttered, waving it off. “I’m not too big on seniority. You can call me Y/N.”

He extends his hand towards you, and you shake it gently. “I’m Soonyoung, I think I should’ve start the conversation that way instead of, well, dumping it all at once.”

“It definitely kept me engaged in the conversation,” you reassured with a light chuckle. Before Soonyoung could utter another word, a guy approached your table, noticeably looking at Soonyoung before he glanced at you, with an nod of acknowledgement.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N, but I have a class to get to,” he apologizes, eyebrows drawn together in guilt. “Can I have your number? So we can further discuss our plan of action?”

“Sure, let me write it down.” He handed you a binder, opening it on to an empty page where you wrote your number and name. You then asked, “What about we meet outside the library tomorrow?”

“Oh yeah, sure, that’s easier,” he agrees, “around eleven, is that alright?”

“Yeah, it’s cool with me, Soonyoung.”

His smile widened, and he stands from his seat. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

You mirrored his smile, nodding. “You’ll see me tomorrow.”

“So… you just said yes?” You nodded, busy with blow drying your hair. You were meeting with Soonyoung again today, mainly to discuss of your game plan to when you’re expected to meet with his parents. Admittedly, you never really sat to think of the entire ordeal, you just agreed. Chungha, when hearing about your situation, couldn’t help but stare at you in bewilderment, especially at how nonchalant you seemed.

“Yeah.” Your eyes locked with your co-worker-slash-roommate through the mirror, her eyes blankly staring back at you as you blinked multiple times. “What?”

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?” Hearing her statement, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, a dry laugh escaping past your lips before you put the hair dryer down and turned to face her. But before you could get a word out, she continued. “You barely know the guy, and you agreed to be his fake girlfriend to lie to his parents, and then, what? Should I emphasize that you don’t now him?”

“His name is Soonyoung, and he goes to the university nearby,” you answered, feigning innocent as you smiled at Chungha.

“And?”

“That’s why I’m meeting him today,” you told her, “we’re supposed to talk about how we’re going to lay it all out for his parents—talk about he and I met, what our plans for the future—”

“And what are those plans, Y/N?”

You lifted your shoulders to shrug. “I’m just going with the flow.”

“Exactly, Y/N,” exclaimed Chungha. “You don’t “go with the flow”—” she air-quoted, and you roll your eyes again, “—you plans things, you’re organized, I don’t get why you’ve suddenly agreed to become some stranger’s fake girlfriend out of the blue.”

“Maybe it’s that, Chungha,” you stated calmly. “Maybe I’m tired of being organized, doing things according to plan. For once, something really interesting is happening in my life, and to be honest, I just don’t want to think of the consequences over agreeing to do this.

“I’ve met the guy, albeit briefly, but I met him, Chungha,” you informed, “my radar to be cautious wasn’t blinking bright red or ringing any alarms, and later today, will confirm that I don’t have anything to worry about.”

Your friend stared at you, processing what you had just let off your chest. She’s known you since you both started at your company—you trained together, you got through the same struggles together in the past year, admittedly, she knows you well enough to raise her own suspicions over this entire ordeal. She knows that you’ve been burnt out from work, and the mundane routine of going to work, then back home, with barely any time for yourself. Despite wanting to reel you back to normality, Chungha only sighed. “Just keep me updated, Y/N.”

“I will,” you uttered, a grateful smile sent to her.

There was a beat of silence before Chungha spoke up. “You said he goes to the university nearby?”

“Yeah.”

Another beat of silence. “I didn’t think you’d go for younger guys, Y/N.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Your arm lifted a third time, checking your wristwatch to see that it was forty minutes past eleven—past the meeting time with Soonyoung. You were seated in the cafe besides the library, the iced tea you had ordered long gone, the ice melting and the condensation creating a small puddle surrounding your glass. No texts, no calls, radio silence from Soonyoung, and as the minutes ticked by, you’d begin to think that Chungha was right.

Maybe agreeing to something as out of the blue as a fake girlfriend proposal wasn’t the best idea. Maybe you should’ve just stuck to what had been planned. Maybe you shouldn’t have gone to the library, that wasn’t planned. You were bored at home, and needed fresh air, so you walked around, stumbled upon the university library and well, that’s that.

Heaving a sigh, you stood from your seat and pulled the strap of your bag over your shoulder. However, as you were pushing the chair back into the table, quick footsteps approached your table and an out-of-breath Soonyoung, sweat dripping from his forehead. “Y/N, I’m so sorry!”

“Are you okay?” Brows furrowed together in worry, you placed a gentle hand on his shoulder as he bent over to regain his breath.

“Y-yeah,” he heaved. “I had a—”

“Soonyoung, sit.” Obediently, he pulled the chair and sat, leaning back into the chair and inhaled deep breaths. You stayed quiet as he regained his composure. “I’ll get you water.” Without sparing him a glance, you headed towards the door of the café, but Soonyoung took ahold of your arm, stopping you mid-step.

“I’m sorry I’m late, Y/N.” The sincerity behind his eyes was similar to what you saw in him yesterday, the glimmer that made you agree to the proposal he had for you. Without uttering a word, you only sent a small smile, pushing his hand from your arm. You enter the café, buying him a bottle of water and returned, placing the bottle in front of him.

“I’m guessing you had a last-minute thing to do?” You asked, playing with your assumptions from how he was out of breath and ran from the opposite direction of the main entryway of the library.

Downing half the bottle, he nodded. “I thought it was going to be a brief meeting for a group presentation, but apparently they began talking about other classes, and I lost track of time. And before I knew it—” He paused, finding you staring at him, intently listening. “—I’m sorry, I have no excuses, I should’ve told you I’d be late instead of making you wait here without any info, Y/N.”

“Thank you, Soonyoung… for owning up to your mistake,” you uttered, notably shocked by his statement.

“Let me pay for your drink, Y/N, or I can buy you lunch?”

“It’s fine, Soonyoung, seriously.” You waved off with a chuckle, finally letting the tension disappear. “So, what’s the plan?”

“Eager, aren’t we?” He teased, earning an eyebrow raise from you. “Sorry… uhm, yeah. My parents are quite chill, nothing too traditional—they usually like to make sure I’m dating someone that is capable of getting along with others…”

“The bars are quite high, huh?” You joked, the both of you laughing.

“I think my mom is the one that possibly doesn’t believe I have a girlfriend, that’s why she wants to see for herself,” he explains. “I’m the youngest, and even though you might think that would be plausible reason for my mom to not want me having a girlfriend, she’s different. She believes being in the early twenties is the perfect age to get, uhm… married.”

“But we’re not getting married, right?” You asked, already knowing the answer.

“Of course not, we’re not actually dating either.” You nodded in agreement, laughing with him. “But showing my mom that I have a girlfriend will get her to lay off me for a bit, and I won’t have to expect any brunches with potential in-laws anytime soon after tomorrow.”

“I see,” you mumbled, nodding, letting the information process for a bit. “But, by showing me, wouldn’t she be asking about us? Our plans and everything. I mean, you did say she thinks you should be marrying at this age, no?”

“That is true,” he realized, “but I’m sure if we establish that the relationship is still quite new and we’re still playing it safe not to take a life-long commitment just yet, she might understand.”

You let the idea marinate briefly in your head. What you told Chungha was true, you were tired of the mundane routine you’ve had all this time, it’s put you in a rut that you’ve always struggled to get out off. Maybe this was the world’s way of saying: “hey do something so your life isn’t just a monotone routine of work and sleep”.

It’s not like being in a fake relationship with Soonyoung would be long-term either, you’re sure that after the brunch with his parents, that the two of you would meet-up to keep the lie up for a while, before eventually parting ways and he’ll have to deal with whatever future in-law brunches because he’d have to break it to his mother that the two of you have broken up.

You’d like to think of it as doing it for the plot, your year was getting boring and it’s already past the third quarter.

With a sigh, you leaned forward, placing your clasped hands on the table, locking eyes with Soonyoung. “Alright, let’s set the ground rules and how we’re going to do this.”

Maybe in another life, you were an actress because how did you even get through the brunch without sparking any suspicion?

It started off rusty. You and Soonyoung had thought up the whole backstory of how you two met—your route to work fell into his routine, where you both met at a coffee shop, and he had accidentally spilled coffee onto your white shirt one day and profusely apologized, insisting he should pay the laundry bill to which you allowed it. It was a cute story, 50% inspired by Chungha’s last failed situationship, but it helped make your “love story” seem more real than what happened in real life. You obviously couldn’t tell his mom that her son just sat by your table and asked you to be his fake girlfriend.

You took into account the backstory, how many dates you’ve gone on now and how long you’ve been dating, but you forgot your own self. You forgot to discuss whether or not you’ll be faking your identity—saying that you were working in one of the top 3 consulting firms in the country, or if you were actually older than Soonyoung—you weren’t sure how his mom would react to her son dating an older woman.

So you played yourself. You told Mrs. Kwon where you worked, your day-to-day and how you were able to juggle meeting with her son, in the midst of your schedule. Conflicting emotions arose during the brunch, and the fear that you never acknowledged came into fruition—Mrs. Kwon was sweet, and she liked you. Conversation with the elder woman flowed smoothly, her crescent eyes and the smile that seemed stuck on her face the moment she saw you enter the country club, until the moment she wrapped her arms around you, uttering the words, “I hope we can meet again soon!”

As the afternoon had sunk in, it wasn’t just your interaction with Mrs. Kwon that drove you to silence, it was Soonyoung as well.

If you thought you were a great actress, then he had already secured his Oscar trophy with his performance.

“How was it?” Chungha had asked immediately when you entered the door of your apartment. Her excitement dimmed to stun and morphed to concern upon noticing your dazed face. “Hey… Y/N? You okay?”

You returned to reality when she snapped her fingers in front of your face, blinking your eyes repeatedly as you regained composure. “What did you say?”

“I asked how your date was? Or, “fake date”,” she asked again, using her fingers to quote. “Did his parents buy it?”

“Yeah… they did,” you uttered, voice trailing, “but…”

“But…?”

“I think I bought it, too.”

Her brows knitted together. “What?”

You shook your head, your fingers aggressively running through your hair as you exhaled a heavy sigh. “I don’t know, he just– we were in the middle of brunch, and his mom asked him what made him decide to give us a chance, and Soonyoung just– he just—“ You couldn’t process what had happened into words, articulating what you felt at that moment felt so complex—something you hadn’t felt in a while, maybe even ever. You can’t recall the last time someone made you feel this… valued.

“He just, what, Y/N?”

Your mind drifted to that moment, when it felt like everything between you and Soonyoung were real… The warm rays of the sun shining through the vines, tracing the outlines of his face, the light hitting his eyes just right to accentuate the golden flakes in his eyes. The way his lips moved as he articulate every single word, with a sense of sincerity that seemed to be too genuine to be said just for a fake relationship.

“Even though it feels like we’ve just met… I don’t know, I just felt that you would be the one. I mean, it feels like you’re the only one patient enough to deal with my spontaneous ideas and out-of-this-world proposals, that I feel whatever we might face during this… that it would be all worth it.”

His words echoed, the image of his honey-dripping eyes looking back at yours, unbeknownst to his mother’s eyes but your hands intertwined beneath the table, his thumb rubbing gentle circles as his cheeks puffed up in a sweet, innocent smile, as if the words were uttered were true and real—that what you two had was real.

“Y/N, for the love of God, please don’t leave me hanging—” Before Chungha could finish her plea of desperation, your phone vibrated between the two of you, Soonyoung’s name and face flashing on the screen, awaiting to be answered.

“Give me a second, yeah?” You rushed out, without waiting for Chungha to respond and climbed off your bed, leaving your best friend to stare at you with sorrow. You escaped to the hallway outside your apartment, swiping the screen and pressing your phone to your ear. “Hello, Soon?”

“Hey, sorry, I know I just dropped you off, but I’m downstairs because I bought something to say thank you for your help today,” Soonyoung informed, causing you to straighten your back, surprised he returned and with a gift.

“Oh, sure- uh, give me a second and I’ll be down.” You hung up, rushing back into your apartment to put on a jacket, ignoring Chungha’s questions of where you’re going and who called, before you were out the door and going down the elevator. Soonyoung was seated in the lobby, a box on his lap as he watched the elevator number go down before stopping, opening and revealing you with a soft smile and bright eyes. He mirrored your smile, standing and approaching you, extending his arms to pass the box to you.

“It was kinda a last minute thing, I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciated your help today,” he uttered, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, “I hope you like custard-filled donuts.”

You tried suppressing the grin on your face, your cheeks warming at the sight of little note he wrote on top of the box. ‘Thank you for being a real one and playing my fake girlfriend <3’. “It was really not hassle, Soonyoung. I did have fun.” You sat down, patting gently on the spot besides you and he sat besides you. You opened the box, revealing the freshly baked donuts, offering him one which he smiled gratefully before picking up one and taking a bite. You followed en-suite.

“Did she believe it?”

Soonyoung glanced towards you, custard on the corner of his lips that made you stifle a laugh. “Yeah, she did,” he spoke, wanting to answer but still in the middle chewing as he tried to speak without opening his mouth as wide. Your chuckle shook your shoulders, before reaching out to wipe the custard at his lips with your thumb. You pretended to not notice the red that spread across his cheeks to the tips of his ears.

He cleared his throat, trying to hide how flustered may have looked, only causing you to smile wider. Payback for what you pulled earlier, you couldn’t help but think.

“By the way, Y/N…” You faced him, finding his features strewn with worry—brows etched, a crease created between them as his eyes looked back at you in guilt. “I know we talked about it keeping the boundaries, as well making it vague, and avoid being too sentimental, but I got caught in the moment and… and I was just so grateful that you would take up my offer that I didn’t know what came over me, you looked really pretty, too, and you smelled nice- I mean, wait that was a bit out of pock—“

Your lips pressed against his shut him up immediately. For a moment, he was taken aback, before he melted into the kiss with you.

“I like you, too, Soonyoung,” you whispered once you pulled away. A child-like shine sparkled in his eyes upon hearing your confession, something bubbling in his chest that caused a bright smile to break out, his cheeks seemingly fluffier than before.

“So, we can keep doing this? For real this time?” You nodded, your cheeks flushed as you came to the sudden realization of something, chuckling to yourself. Soonyoung cocked his head to the side, inquiring, “What’s funny?”

“I just…” You sighed happily. “I just never expected myself to fall for a younger guy…” You bumped your shoulder with his, adding, “You’re the only exception.”

He threw his head back in a hearty laugh, smiling back at you. “Well, I’m honored to be the one and only, Y/N.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for going to a friend's toxic ex birthday party? 🪐🪐🪐

(Everyone in this story is transgender in some way or form so im sorry if the pronouns get confusing! I picked planet names for everyone to help tell them apart.)

I (19, class of '22) have been friends with Venus (17, class of '24) for three years now. We met through our high school's drama club and I consider them my little sister. Because we were in different grades, I never knew many of her friends or colleagues, but I did meet her then boyfriend Mars (18, class of '23). I also didn't know any of his friends, and mostly spoke to him because of her.

I graduated before they started dating, and they dated up until this year, after Mars graduated. Venus is still in high school.

Because I'm not in the same school as either of them anymore, I haven't had the time to really speak to them and only learned about the break up after another friend of Venus, my best friend Jupiter (18, class of '22 like me) told me. Note that Jupiter wasn't told about it directly by Venus, they had read a vague post about it on a social media I'm not on.

Now, things got complicated when Mars invited me and Jupiter to their birthday party. This shocked both of us because we weren't as close to Mars and the party was fairly small. Venus was not invited. Another friend, Saturn (20, class of '22 same as me), who is the closest with Venus, asked me if I planned to go. She said she isn't going because Venus had told her about how toxic Mars was. He apparently fetishized Venus and eventually grew cold towards her.

By this point, Jupiter and I had already bought tickets to see a play a couple hours before the party and planned to go to Mars' place together after it was over. Because I didn't want to tell Jupiter what Saturn told me, as I wasn't sure Venus wanted the rumors to spread, I agreed to go to the party with them.

Why I might be TA: I'm not even that close to Mars but I still chose to "support him" and go to his birthday party, even after learning he was toxic. Plus, I'm dragging Jupiter with me without letting them know about Mars. I fully believe both Saturn and her retelling of Venus' words, and I feel bad for Venus, but I didn't do anything to show her any support. Why I might not be TA: to Venus' knowledge, I don't know about Mars' bad behavior. Saturn has a bad habit of gossiping and I don't think I was supposed to know about it. Venus might not even know I know they broke up at all. It's just a birthday party. And from the retelling of the facts I don't think Mars did anything horrible, they were just a bit of a dick.

AITA?

[luvyeni]

p. bestfriendsdad!seunghan x fem bodied reader | warnings: | words: 0.7k ~ (735) 🫧ㆍ₊⊹

request: Hii can I request best friends dad seunghan smut??

“my dad is here”

You bit back a smile as you got out of the passengers seat of her car, walking to her front door. “but just ignore him.”

Normally had it been any of your other friends dad, you probably would’ve — but not mr.hong, he was different; his warm smile, his kind eyes and the fact the hottest 40 something year old man you’ve ever met in your life.

He was also great in bed — you would know that because he fucked you many times before.

“how was my bab

“how was my babygirls day?” he hugged his daughter tightly, she groaned pushing him away, you smiled. “dad im 22, we don’t need to do this everyday.” He frowned. “I just want to hug my daughter why can’t you just go with.” You laughed. “give your dad a hug, not many dads ask for hugs “

“thank you yn, this is why she’s the only one of your friends I like.” Your friend didn’t understand the double meaning that had; or did she notice the look he gave you. “are you two gonna be studying?” your friend grabbed your hand. “yeah, yn is also gonna be spending the night so make enough dinner for her.” He nodded. “got any favorites yn?” you shrugged. “anything is fine.”

After studying and messing around your friend decided to shower before dinner was ready. “I’ll only be about 20 minutes.” She said closing the door; but you were already out her bedroom door — making your way to the kitchen where you knew he’d be.

“what are the making?” you saw him smiling. “your favorite, it just got finished.” He said, turning the heat off. “my favorite?” he finally turned around facing you. “yup, why not?” he pouted, you walked over to him, wrapping your arms around him. “I missed you.” He pulled you into a kiss. “we only have 20 minutes.” You breathed.

He quickly lifted you up on the counter; you could feel his hard on pressed against your clothed heat. “lets hurry then.” He quickly pulled your panties down, lifting up your skirt up. “been so hard every since I saw you in this tiny skirt.” He freed himself his slacks, his cock hard and ready to fuck. “did you wear this me?” he rubbed your fold with his tip. “to get me all riled up?” he pushed into you. “sh-shit.”

He pressed his forehead against yours, moving his hips. “fu-fuck princess I missed your cunt.” He groaned. “been thinking about your pretty pussy since the last time I saw you.” you moaned out, he was always able to reduce your body to mush. “ha-harder.” You stuttered, he obeyed switching up his pace, you yelped as he roughly fucked into you. “my pretty slut, you love sneaking behind your friends back, hm?” he bucked up into you. “fuck you clenched around me, you like fucking your friends dad.”

“fuck yes!” you moaned; just as the door to the bathroom opened, he covered your mouth, coming close to your ear. “you don’t want her to catch us right?” he reached between your bodies, rubbing your clit, hissing as you clenched around him. “fu-fuck if you keep clenching around me im gonna cum.” He groaned.

He realized he didn’t have much time, moving his hips at a inhumane pace. “se-seunghan i-I’m gonna— go ahead and cum.” He said. “be a good girl and cum for me.” That was all you needed, before you were cumming. “that’s it -fuck fuck fuck- cum for me.

He quickly chased his high, wishing he had more time. “shit im gonna cum.” He grunted, stilling his hips as he shot his load into your waiting wombs. “feels so good.” He kissed your lips

He wanted to give you aftercare; clean you up and cuddle in bed, but you both know it couldn’t happen, especially since you heard your friends bedroom door open. “shit baby im sorry.” He pulled his pants up gave you your panties back, helping you put them back on. “come to my room later when she’s sleep.” He kissed your head, pulling away just before she came into the kitchen. “dinner ready?”

“oh?” your friend said as he sat out the food. “hey yn isn’t this your favorite?” she asked. “uh— what a coincidence.” Seunghan interrupted. “well then I hope it’s as good as you normally eat.” He smiled.

of course it would be, the first time you had it was when he made it for you.

©️LUVYENI

[afro-hispwriter]

Lovers

Neteyam(22)x Na'vi!Reader(22)

Summary- Neteyam wants to be more and so do you, but you're scared of the commitment 

Warnings- slight angst, oral(f receiving), getting interrupted 

A/n- this was supposed to be a friends with benefits but it ended up them being lovers

-

Anybody who saw you and Neteyam could see that you loved each other. So it was a shock when they found out you weren't even mated. 

You loved each other, confessed even. Neteyam thought he'd finally be able to be with you. But he was wrong... in a sense. You remembered as if it was yesterday. 

You and Neteyam sat on a log, just on the outskirts of the village. 

"My clothes are still on so I suppose you just want to talk." You say and wrap your tail around his affectionately. 

"You caught me." He chuckled and scooted closer to you. "Y/n I know we agreed to not have feelings for each other when we started this but I failed. I fell in love with you, I want you to be mine." 

Your mouth opened in shock. Neteyam smiled awkwardly but then frowned at your expression.

"Oh shit, fuck I'm so sorry." He starts moving away when you grab his large bicep.

"Neteyam I love you so much." A smile broke out on his face, it was going to hurt to say this. "But I can't be with you, I mean mate with you." His smile fell. 

"Why not?" 

"You are to be the Ole'keytan and mating with you would mean I would be Tsahik. Do not get me wrong I love our people and want to help them, but I prefer fighting for them

"The Tsahik can fight." 

"But it is not advised. Im sorry, Neteyam I do love you but I am just scared." Neteyams shoulders dropped.

"You don't think I'm scared? I knew-thought with you by my side I would be less scared." Your lip quivered.

"I'm sorry." He sighed.

"Stop saying sorry mama. You don't want to be Tshaik and that's fine, but I don't want to lose you. I will wait for you if that is what you want." He grabbed your hand and held it up to his heart. "I will wait for an eternity." You place your hand on his shoulder and nodded.

A boom sounded in the distance. Flashing lights lit up the sky. What were they? You didn't have time to ask Neteyam because they got bigger and suddenly they were releasing big beams of light that destroyed the ground under them. It was so far away but you could see everything. Suddenly a big ball of fire appeared, clearing everything in its path. 

"Neteyam." You grabbed his arm. "What is it? Why is it destroying our home?" Neteyam couldn't answer he slowly wrapped an arm around you.

"Sky people."

Why was this happening on this night of all nights?

-

You were with the ground team that attacked the train, now helping Tarsem pass out weapons to everyone on the field. Lo'ak ran up to you and held his hand out eagerly.

"Lo'ak your father instructed you to watch from the air." You say and hold the gun out of reach. 

"Oh come on bet you didn't tell your boyfriend anything." He smirked and pointed behind him and you look to see Neteyam yelling orders at some of the warriors. 

"He is not my boyfriend." You grumble and hand him the gun. You and Neteyam had kept the same strictly sex relationship, but it was different now since the night you confessed. You talked more intimately and were even getting affectionate in public.

Neteyam ran over to his brother.

"What are you doing down here?" 

"Helping." Lo'ak smirks and loads the gun. A plane was overhead and started shooting.

"Shit run." You all started running when an explosion sent you all flying. You shake your head from the debris and stand up. You immediately searched for Neteyam, seeing him only a few feet from you. 

"Ma Teyam are you alright?" You flipped him over and grabbed his face. Neteyams eyes opened and he smiled.

"My beautiful Y/n." His eyes then drooped down hazily before he groaned in pain. 

"We must get you to help." You try to lift him but a blast hits close to you. You shield Neteyam from it and look up to see one of the machines walking toward you. You draw your bow back and pierce the clear material hiding a human, killing them instantly. Jake arrived next to you, he checked Neteyam all around before grabbing him and lifting him over his shoulders. "Lo'ak! Go with your dad. I'll hold them off." Lo'ak nods and follows.

When they were clear you called your ikran and took to the skies. You caught up with the war party and landed at high camp just as Jake started scolding his son but you didn't care. You ran up to Neteyam and placed a hand on his shoulder. He looked at you briefly but still reached behind him to hold your hand. 

"Lo'ak you were supposed to be spotting." He looks at his youngest son and then turns to his oldest. "Neteyam why did you let him land? Son you're going to be Ole'keytan soon, if you can't make people follow orders what does that say about you as a leader?" Your ears drop, knowing that duty is very important to Neteyam. You watched him blink rapidly, something he noticed he did when he tried not to cry. 

"It's okay." You whispered lowly and he bit his lip. 

"Y/n I need you to oversee the returning war party, please," Jake says but you shake your head.

"My lover is wounded." 

"It's fine," Neteyam says and you shake your head again. He couldn't deny that his heart skipped a beat when you openly called him your lover. "Sir I take full responsibility."

"Neteyam." You groan.

"Yeah, you do what's right, because you the older brother and future leader you gotta set an example, so act like it." You look over at Lo'ak whose ears flattened in guilt. 

"Ma Jake," Neytiri says giving him a look. "Your son is actually bleeding." 

"Mother it's fine. I-." He says but doesn't finish.

"Just go and get patched up. Go on, dismissed."  You instantly dragged Neteyam to Moat's tent. 

"Are you alright?" You ask him and he winces.

"Just a few scratches I will be fine."

"Sit." You instruct and set your bow to the side. Moat turns around and gasps at the sight of her grandson. 

"What happened." 

"Explosion hit too close." You say and start preparing a drink that would help with the pain. You haven't told Neteyam but you've started your Tshaik training again little by little. 

Tuk ran up next to you, knowing she was going to want to help. 

"Give this to your brother." You tell her and hand her the small cup. She eagerly went to her brother and handed it to him. As he drank it Moat began placing the healing salve on his wounds. Neteyam winced and cried in pain. "Oh, I thought you were fine?" Neteyam glared at you with a playful glint in his eye. 

"Aw, you need someone to kiss your booboo," Spider says and you glare at him, hard. It was never a secret how much you didn't like the demon boy. You sat down in front of Neteyam and grab his injured arm and start to clean it off.

"Grandmother me and Y/n have been experimenting with Yalan bark it is much better," Kiri says and you smile in agreement.

"And who is Tshaik?" Moat asks looking up briefly from Neteyams back. 

"You are grand- move." She pushed past Lo'ak and Spider and crouched down. "You are grandmother." You start to wrap his arm and you notice Neteyam has yet to take his eyes off of you.

"What?" You whisper and he chuckles.

"When did you start experimenting with medicine?" 

"Later, I am going to oversee the returning parties and see if anybody needs help." You kiss his bandaged arm and he leans in to kiss you on the lips but you stand up. "Later." This time you said it in a teasing manner. As you start to walk away your tail swiped underneath his chin and pulled him in your direction. He let himself follow you but Moat pulled him back.

-

It was past eclipse by the time you were done. You now were able to settle down in your small tent and get ready to go to sleep. The tent flaps opened and Neteyam stepped through, your back faced him but you knew it was him.

"You have not let me kiss you all day." He says and wraps his arms around you. 

"I know." He nibbled your ear making you gasp lightly.

"Can I kiss you?" You turned around in his arms and hooked your arms around his neck. 

"Of course, you can my prince." He gently placed his lips on yours. You smiled and kissed him back. The kiss got heated and he tried to push his tongue into your mouth but stopped him. He growled lowly and grabbed a handful of your ass and squeezed tightly. You gasped and he took the opportunity to push his tongue into your mouth. He gave your ass a hard smack before grabbing the strings of your loincloth and ripping it.

"Missed. This. Pussy." He said in between kisses and walked you back to a table. You hopped up and wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him in. His hardened cock pushes against you. You gasped lightly and threw your head back, lips disconnecting. He placed a few kisses on your neck before getting down on his knees. He started to kiss your inner thighs and your breathing picked up. He grabbed your legs and pulled you towards him, nose pushing completely against you. 

"Oh fuck." He loved it when you cursed in English, it sounded almost innocent. He swiped his tongue in between your slit and flicked it up and down. He looked up and watched your face twist in pleasure. He then took your clit in between his lips and sucked. Two of his fingers started making their way inside of you. 

You reached behind you and untied your top and tossed it somewhere else. Your hands grabbed your tits and you pinched the buds. Neteyam growled and reached up with his unoccupied hand and slapped one of your hands away. He grabbed and squeezed your breasts hard. You bucked your hips up and squeezed your thighs around his head. You rolled your hips on your mouth and grabbed his braids and pulled them harshly. You could barely stay sitting up.

Neteyam winced in pain at the tug but kept pushing his fingers in knuckles deep. He curled them up and you let out a scream.

"Gonna cum N-Neteyam!" He let your clit go and smiled.

"Yeah go on mama, cum for me." He let your breast go and slammed his arms on your hips to force them down, forcing you to take it. You slapped a hand behind you on the table and your eyes rolled in the back of your head. His fingers pushed against the spot and he was splashed in the face. You let out a shuddering sob as you squirted everywhere. Neteyam opened his mouth, drinking the most he could but some of it dripped down his chest. 

You collapsed backward on the table, head hanging over the edge. Neteyam moaned into your cunt and the vibrations made you squeal.

"Stop, stop." You say and giggle while holding your hands out. He pulled away, a trail of cum connecting from your pussy to his lips. 

"Good girl," Neteyam said and kissed the top of your thighs. He stood up and looked down at your body, watching you try to catch your breath. He grabbed you by your neck and pulled you up to sit. "Im gonna fuck you now mama, Is that okay?" He starts to undo his loincloth strings.

"Yes please fuck me." You begged and grabbed his wrist and pouted. Neteyam smirked and leaned down to kiss you but was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. You almost screamed and he pressed your body close to him with the intent of hiding you from whoever it was. 

"Neteyam?" It was Jake. Neteyam turned around and his eyes widened.

"Dad." Jake was facing away from you, looking at the wall. 

"I need to speak with you, son. So uh just get decent." He turned and left, leaving you and Neteyam there. He kissed your forehead and laid his cheek on your head.

"Sorry about that." 

"It's okay, go talk to your dad." Neteyam smiled and stepped back. He looked through a basket full of your clothes and held two loose pieces in his hands. 

"I will be back." He says and hands you the clothing. He walks out of the tent, trying to hide the very large bulge in his pants.

"Sir?"

Jake turns around and looks his son up and down. 

"We need to talk about some things." He nods and holds his hands in front of his crotch. "We've been having lots of close calls lately, so I think it's time we start talking about a mate so we can secure the next Ole'keytan."

"Dad." Neteyam groaned and rolled his eyes. "Y/n isn't ready for it, and I told you I wasn't going to have anybody else as my mate." 

"I know I know," Jake says, holding his hands out in defense. "But it's time, so it's her or me and your mother choose someone." 

"She has not even started her tsakarem training again."

"That is not what Mo'at said. I am just telling you, son." Neteyams ears flattened at Jake’s words, completely at a standstill. 

-

He pushed back the tent flaps and walked in. You were sitting on the ground, weaving an armband. When you saw him walk in you instantly set it down.

"What happened?" He shook his head and slowly got on his knees. He pushed the basket of weaving materials away. He leaned forward and set both of his hands on either side of your hips and pushed his face close to yours. 

"You are training to be Tshaik?" He dug his face into your neck and you sighed. 

"Surprise." You say and nuzzle his head. 

"When were you going to tell me?" 

"Tonight actually." He smiled and pressed a kiss to your neck. He suddenly pushed all his weight on top of you making you fall back. He rested all his weight on you and you groaned and giggled. 

"Let's sleep." 

"Not picking up where we left off?"

"Later."

-

Neteyam started to shake you awake. 

"Y/n, wake up."  You began to stir awake, eyes fluttering open. 

"Yes?" 

"Im going out to a scouting party with my parents. Do you want to come?" You turned around to your back and smiled.

"Not today, I think I will stay behind, help around where I can." He kisses your shoulder and stood up.

"I have something for you." He says and grabs something. "It's a comlink, so you can talk to me or anyone, but for now it's only set on my frequency." You sit up and inspect the small figure and looked up at Neteyam in confusion from his explanation. "You can talk to me while I'm away."

"Oh okay. How do I put it on?" 

"Like a necklace." Neteyam grabbed your hair and held it up out of the way while you clasped the device around your neck. "Now press here." He grabbed your hands and pushed against the com. Loud feedback came back and you both winced. "We have to be far from each other for us to hear but it will be fine." 

"Thank you."

"You're welcome baby, see you tonight."

-

Something was wrong, you could feel it. 

"It is too quiet." You tell Mo'at. She nodded and looked around.

"Where are my grandchildren and that demon boy?"

"I do not know." You stood up and pushed against the com link. "Neteyam?"

His com crackled to life.

“Neteyam?” He heard your voice and pressed against his com.

“Yes?”

“Lo’ak, Kiri, Tuk, and Spider are not here.” He sighed.

“I know, they’re by the old shack with soldiers. We’re going to get them.”

Your heart stopped.

“I will find you.” You go to grab your bow.

“No Y/n, stay there just encase they are hurt and if they will need help.” 

You stopped in your tracks and growled.

“Fine, but be safe. All of you. I love you Neteyam.” 

He bit his lip and let out a chuckle, his parents flying on their ikrans turning their attention to him.

“I love you too.”

-

They came back almost at night. They were hurt too much, just a few scratches and cuts. But it didn’t account for the emotional trauma they’ve gone through. 

You now sat with your legs crossed in front of you, working on the armband from the previous night. Neteyam walked in and laid down next to you on his back. 

“Is everyone okay now?”

“For now.” You looked down at him.

“What do you mean?” You set the armband down and grabbed his hand. 

“They wanted me to stay back with the ikrans and eywa im glad I didn’t. Because if I did, they’d all be dead, and probably me too.” You frowned and your ears flattened. 

“Just be glad that all of you are alive, do not dwell on it.” He shook his head but brought the back of your hand up to his mouth.

“Come here.” He opened himself up, inviting you for a cuddle session. You giggled and rested on his chest. You talked for a bit, trying to take his mind off everything when Lo’ak burst through out of breath. You both sat ho immediately and stared at him.

“What?”

“It's Mom and Dad, they’re fighting.” You look up at Neteyam and unravel from him.

“Go.” You urge him and he stands up to leave. 

“I'll be back as soon as I can.” He leans down and kisses your head. 

-

Neteyam came back an hour later seeming distressed. 

“They’re hunting us Y/n, they’re hunting my family.”

“What? Who is hunting you?” You stop his pacing and grab onto his arms. He shakes his head, braids squishing around before grabbing your hands in his. 

“The RDA want to kill us and my dad is making us all leave… and I want you to come with me.”

-

A/n- I actually hate this. New poll coming out to determine the next work you guys want:)

[luvangelbreak]

Deprived | Twenty

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing, smoking, suggestive? word count: 3.3k a/n: this series has been longer than I anticipated but I'm living for the slow burn so it's gonna be a while till we're done folks.

pov: layla

I spent the next week couped in my room, refusing to leave as I quickly smoked the bag of weed Wes had given me. Allie had messaged me in concern multiple times and I finally built up the courage to reply to her a day after her last message.

Allie <3 Monday hey girl are you okay? matt has been off all day 1:30pm Tuesday if u wanna talk im here <3 5:37pm Wednesday im getting concerned pls message me if u need anything 3:47pm

You sorry just havent been feeling good im okay just need time alone 10:21pm

Allie <3 im sorry :(10:23pm

You its okay i'll be at school tmrw 10:27pm

Allie <3 okay! see ya then <3 10:28pm

I locked my phone and threw it lazily on the bed beside me, rolling over to face the wall where my window was cracked open. I was glad my dad was out tonight, having to deal with him for over a week straight was draining and I felt like it didn't benefit my self-loathing in any way. I sighed as my mind always travelled back to the look on Matt's face, the pure hurt in his eyes that I knew I caused.

Part of me was glad he hadn't messaged or tried to talk to me. It meant that I could push him away if I wanted to. I did just that without even consciously meaning to. I got scared and made it his fault in my brain but as I continued rotting in my bed, I realised I hurt him more than I ever meant to. It wasn't his fault that I was afraid of someone being close, it wasn't his fault that I let something so small set me off. I needed to make him realise it wasn't his fault and I was just not used to the affection and accommodation he offered me daily.

I barely slept over the past week and this night was no different. My alarm went off in the early hours of the morning and I knew I had slept a total of 4 hours from the way my brain had constantly been reeling. I dragged myself out of bed and trudged into the bathroom. I took an extra long shower to attempt to rid the disgust I felt towards myself.

After scrubbing my entire body head to toe, I jumped out of the shower and walked to my room. My entire body felt heavy and I felt tears prick my eyes when I looked over to the pink sweater that was still laying over my bag. I picked it up, realising it was the only clean sweater I had since I hadn't been bothered with laundry. I quickly slid it over my head before sliding on my black sweatpants and combat boots. I slid my leather jacket over the top, not bothering with any makeup as I lazily tied my now damp hair into a low ponytail. I grabbed my bag, quickly sprayed on some perfume and grabbed my phone off of my bedside table.

I quickly exited my house without food or water in my stomach and as I began walking down the road, I decided to light one of the last few cigarettes I had pre-rolled. I grabbed my headphones from my bag, slid one into my ear and plugged them into my phone. I clicked shuffle on one of my playlists and I let my feet drag on the asphalt as I slowly made my way down the streets of Massachusetts.

After an hour, I finally arrived in the parking lot of the school and I scanned the cars, my eyes landing where I saw the familiar silver minivan. I paused, letting out a heavy breath as I collected myself and began walking to the group of people in front of the car.

Nate was the first to notice me and he just looked at me with no expression before he turned back to the group. As I got closer I noticed the fact that Mia was standing beside Matt with her head leaned on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around her back lazily and I felt a pang of pure jealousy run through me. I tried to shake it off as I got closer, knowing I had no right to be mad about it right now since I was the one who caused the riff between the brown-haired boy and myself.

"Speak of the devil," I heard Nick say when his eyes caught mine and I was a few feet away, standing uncomfortably as I looked between all of them. All of their heads turned to look at me, Allie being the only one who didn't seem like they were looking right through me.

"Matt, can I talk to you?" I asked quietly as I didn't dare to meet his eyes yet and there was an uncomfortable silence that fell over us, "Please."

"About what?" he asked, his tone short and I looked up to see his face completely expressionless but his eyes held such hurt and aggravation that it felt like it cut right through me.

"Last week," I mumbled, ignoring the pain in my chest of seeing Mia looking at me with a slight smirk. I focused in on the boy I had hurt, his blue eyes piercing in the sunlight.

"Now?" he questioned, not taking his eyes off of me and I just looked at him, the judgement of his friends radiating off of them. He sighed heavily before swinging his arm out from around Mia and I felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders but there was still a pressure on my chest, "I'll be back."

I looked at the ground as he pushed away from the hood of the minivan and he walked past me. I followed behind him, not daring to look back at his friends as we walked to the back of the parking lot before he stopped to face me.

He didn't say anything for a moment as I looked up at him and he scanned me head to toe before murmuring, "That's my sweater."

"Yeah. I left it on my bag all week but I didn't have any clean hoodies for today," I explained and he hummed as I picked at the skin around my fingers, my nails too short to bite now that I had been picking at them all week. I nervously chewed on my lip before I said, "I'm sorry."

"It took you a week to say that?" he asked, his voice quiet but his words laced with pain.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I know I reacted to what you said horribly but I just-" I cut myself off as I took a breath and looked down at the gravel below us, "I haven't had anyone take care of me the way you do. It scares me. I'm sorry."

I squeezed my eyes closed, chewing on my bottom lip far more aggressively than I intended but my heart raced as I waited for his response. I felt his hand fall under my chin and he lifted my face to look up at him, noticing now that he was slightly closer to me. He used his thumb to gently pull my lip away from my teeth as I fidgeted with the hem of the pink sweater.

"Why didn't you just talk to me?" he asked, his tone softening as he looked down at me and I shrugged dumbly.

"I am bad at talking about that sorta stuff," I answered quietly, my throat closing from the sadness that invaded my body as I looked up at him. I had no right to be upset right now, I was the one who fucked up and made this so difficult, but I felt guilt invade my entire body when I realised I didn't want to push him away. It was habit and I was always bad at breaking them.

"Don't do that again," he demanded softly and I pursed my lips as I pushed my sadness down the best I could as tears sprung to my eyes, "Or I swear to god I won't talk to you again and I don't want to stop talking to you. Ever."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you away. I just don't know how to deal with everything I'm feeling and I know it's shitty but I promise I'm trying. I have no right to be sad right now because this is my fault but I feel so horrible for making you upset. You deserve so much more than that and if I can't give that to you I understand if you don't want me to be around anymore," I rambled out all of my feelings and conflicting voices in my head but I was cut off by his lips on mine.

I paused for a moment to register what was happening before my body melted into his, his arms wrapping around my lower back as I snaked my arms around his neck. I pulled him into me, missing the way his body felt against my own more than I anticipated. It felt like a breath of fresh air after being stuck in my room for the past week with smoke-filled lungs. He gripped my hips, pulling me impossibly closer to him as I tangled my hands in his hair before he pulled away to breathe for a moment.

"You're an idiot," he mumbled before he leaned back in to kiss me gently again.

"I know," I mumbled against his lips and he ran his tongue against my rough lips, the sting of his saliva hitting the open splits on my lips from chewing them. I hissed and pulled away as he looked down at me.

"You need to stop biting your lip," he muttered as his eyes travelled all around my face, "And stop picking your nails. You're not gonna have any left soon."

"I've been stressed the past week. I can't help it," I whispered as I looked up at him in awe. I had forgotten the pure oxytocin that ran through my system when I was with him and I refused to let it go again.

"Pretty girl," he gave me a sympathetic look and I shook my head as I pulled away from his face slightly, my arms still slung over his shoulders.

"Don't feel bad. This was my doing and I will make it up to you," I answered sternly and his face broke into a small smile. I sighed, the weight being lifted off of my chest now and my body tingled with joy.

"All I'm asking is that you talk to me next time," he whispered, leaning down to place a peck on my lips and I let it linger before I pulled back and nodded.

"I will try," I scratched the nape of his neck lightly and he bit his bottom lip as my face dropped, "Don't look at me like that before we have to go inside. I'll drive us back to your house right now."

"I don't see you for a week and you're ready to jump my bones already," he chuckled and I raised my eyebrows.

"How else can I make it up to you, ya know?" I joked as let my mouth form into a smirk and he shook his head as he pursed his lips, "Does this mean I can come to your game this week?"

"Of course baby," he smiled down at me and I felt the butterflies erupt in my stomach again, promising not only him but myself to never let myself ruin this again.

"By the way," I let my right hand trail from his neck to his chest, playing with the necklace that sat comfortably on his collarbones, "Allie's brother was just dropping me home. He tried to flirt with me but I shut it down. I wasn't lying about that."

"I know. I overreacted. I'm sorry about that," he said softly and I shook my head, twiddling the pendant between my fingers as I looked up at him.

"I know how it looked. I would've been just as upset. You don't need to apologise for it," I mumbled, trying hard to convey my feelings as best I could to which he didn't respond verbally. He instead placed another kiss against my lips and smiled against me as he squeezed my hips.

"Matt!" I heard Chris's voice call from only a few feet away and we both broke apart to look over at him, "You guys done? We gotta go to class."

"I forgot about that," I joked and Chris just gave me a deadpanned look as Matt chuckled.

"We'll be there in a sec," he called to his brother who just rolled his eyes and spun around to walk back to his friends, "They're more pissed at you than I was."

"I can tell," I mumbled as I watched their eyes pour directly into me, "Allie messaged me though."

"She was the only one defending you," he told me honestly and I hummed as I looked back up to him, "I'll talk to them."

"Don't sugarcoat it. You can tell them I'm a dumbass who doesn't know how to deal with her emotions," I stated and he shook his head with a smile, placing a kiss on the top of my head before swinging his arm over my shoulders.

"Come on," he said nodding towards the group and I hesitantly began walking with him by my side. Their eyes stayed glued to us as we approached and Mia gave me nothing but a scowl with her arms crossed, "Chill out. We talked about it."

"That didn't seem like talking," Mia spat and I remained silent, letting Matt handle the situation as I looked at Allie who gave me a sympathetic smile.

"Don't Mia," Matt deadpanned and she only scoffed with a roll of her eyes, "We talked about it and I don't wanna hear it."

"Only took you a week," Nate raised his eyebrows as he spoke and he looked at me. I pursed my lips while glancing between them.

"At least it happened," Matt retorted before the bell rang and he sighed, "We'll talk about it later. Let's go."

He began walking with his arm around my shoulder still and I followed suit, Chris moving to stand on the other side of Matt as everyone else followed behind. We made our way to our classes and once we sat down, a weight fell back on my chest.

Not only did I have to make it up to Matt, I had to win back his brothers and his friends.

+++

Pretty boy where did u go?? 12:23pm

You 🚬 be there in a minute 12:24pm

I locked my phone, sliding it into my pocket as I finished off my cigarette, throwing it onto the ground before I wedged it into the ground with my boot. I made my way back inside and straight to the cafeteria where I saw the group of friends sitting together.

"Hey," Allie beamed as she scooted closer to Mia to make space between her and Matt for me to sit. I smiled at her as I swung my legs over the bench and sat down. Matt placed his arm around my lower back as he continued his conversation with Nick.

"I don't want to wear a tie. That's why I got the red shirt," Matt groaned and Nick gave him a deadpanned look.

"It's prom. You're supposed to look fancy with a tie," Nick stated and Matt ran a hand across his face.

"We're all wearing a tie. Don't be a bitch," Nate pointed out and I tuned them out as Allie tapped my shoulder to gain my attention.

"You okay?" she asked quietly and I nodded with a hum.

"Yeah. Thank you for checking on me," I answered in a hushed tone and she shrugged with her sunshine smile that warmed my heart to know she wasn't annoyed with me.

"Of course. That's what friends are for," she said casually before she turned back to listen to the group conversation. I let her words hang over my head like a cloud.

That's what friends are for.

I don't remember the last time I had a genuine friend and her simple words struck me right in my heart. She had always been kind to me and from the moment we talked, she had been such a light in my life. I realised I not only wanted to share my emotions and feelings with Matt but also with Allie to show her that I appreciated her.

I wanted to be better for both of them.

"How long do we have to stay there?" Chris whined as he threw his head onto the table dramatically and Allie rolled her eyes.

"You're acting like you're being held hostage. If you don't wanna go it's fine," Allie responded, her tone quietening at the end and I could sense the slight sadness at Chris's distaste for prom.

"Al, I told you I'm going and I'll stick to that. I just don't wanna be there for five hours," he lifted his head up to look at her and she shrugged, eyes glancing at the table.

"We can leave early and go back to my house," she offered and Chris's mouth broke into a smile as he nodded.

"Works for me," he said triumphantly before sitting up again, resting his elbows on the table in front of him.

"How are we getting there?" Mia asked, looking around at the group and I just sat there in silence, deciding to go along with whatever plan I knew Allie had already set up.

"Meet up at my house at five thirty so we can take photos and make sure we have everything and then we will leave at like six-thirty to get to the hotel," Allie explained the plan and everyone seemed to hum along in agreement. I felt Matt's arm snake further around my back as he scooted closer to me.

"How are we getting there?" Nick asked and Allie smiled as she adjusted her ponytail.

"I got us a limo," she announced happily and Mia showed her first sign of happiness of the day as she squealed excitedly, "You guys won't drink right?"

Matt and his brothers shook their heads with a firm no and Allie turned to look at me and I shrugged, "Depends on what it is."

"Bottle of champagne in the limo?" Mia asked Allie and Allie nodded causing Mia's smile to widen.

"You're dad won't arrest us if we drink?" Nate asked, the half-hearted joke not landing well with Mia as she rolled her eyes.

"Not if he doesn't know," she pointed out with a slight smirk and Nate raised his eyebrows before nodding in agreement.

"Did you find a dress?" Nate asked, turning his attention to me as he attempted to make conversation. I assumed that in the time I'd been in my other classes and was outside Matt had talked to Nate, Chris and Nick since they weren't glaring at me anymore but they still felt slightly standoffish.

"No. I'm just gonna make my own," I explained and he nodded, his smile in a downturned smile.

"Mad impressive that you can do that," he complimented me and I gave him a half-hearted smile as Matt traced circles on my hip with his thumb.

"Thanks. I just hope I can finish it in time," I explained and I could sense Mia's disgust towards me radiating off of her but I was learning to tune her out like I had always done before Matt came into my life.

Suddenly the bell rang for our next classes and everyone began getting up. I stood up from the table before Matt spun me around and kissed my lips gently. I froze for a moment, shocked at the fact he did that in the middle of the cafeteria but I quickly reciprocated the action before he pulled away.

"See you after school pretty girl," he smirked at me before he walked away and I stood still for a moment as I watched him walk away with Nick, Chris, Nate and Mia.

"You guys are so fucking cute it makes me want to throw up," Allie rolled her eyes playfully beside me and I looked around to see people staring at me once again. I pursed my lips, my cheeks tinging red as I hid a smile and shook my head before I began walking out of the cafeteria.

tags:

@dsturniolo @chrisstankyleg @lov3bug @pinklittleflower @thatcrazybitch-69 @trinity2058 @alorsxsturn @chrizznmetswife @ilovechrissturniolo1 @leprechaunbirthdaygirl @sturnfix @lilsstvrn @sturniololol @sturniolowhore @jebbie-project-blog @jaxyy219

[earlymorningfoxhunt]

Hello, we're a system/collective who started listening to Malevolent on June 7th, 2024, and boy did it hit close to home! not only because of the jarthur body sharing blues, but also johns individual experience with his identity made us feel seen in a way we haven't felt before.

the way john has to figure out what differentiates himself from both arthur and hastur, despite feeling trapped behind arthurs eyes and chained to hastur heart, aligns with our experiences... a lot. so we've been making a compilation for the past month that includes all of the moments that made us go OOORRG as well as different folks commentaries (mostly consisting of us going OOORRG). this is going to be long as shit because this entire show is this.

also if your a system/collective who likes malevolent: PLEASE put ur favorite moments/ur thoughts

and if you haven't listened to malevolent: hey, you should give it a try and then come cry to me about it :D

A Compilation Of Malevolent Moments That Hit Differently As A System:

The Caves: (34:59-35:20)

during their argument john laughs while arthur trips over things

hehehe ya

The Path: (43:06-44:05)

johns questioning if he's feeding off of arthurs emotions or if hes learning them for himself, new split type beat, trying to figure out where each other start and end.

"we are of two minds, and more and more im realizing two souls as well. there's a bleed over effect but you are something entirely your own, john."

The Fall:

oh my god this episode. this man got so fucking pissed, not at john for rubbing the death of arthurs child in his face, but at arthur pulling host rank???? i was like ya buddy you can rot in a pit for a few months, mf you cant do that!! we we're listening to this at work and we were so pissed

The King: (35:00-36:25)(45:18-48:57)

its the first time arthur talks for him and its the first time he feels johns tears.

arthurs confrontation with the king and the feeling of no matter how much you hate each other, you're going to have each others back. for us personally it feels like a sucker punch to the gut every time he says "because i cant lose another person!"

The Unconquerable:

when we wrote down the title we didnt know why the episode resonated with us, but now I come back to it a month later as a yellow introject. we have horrid memory issues on top of memory issues, so it hurts something familiar to see the state yellow is in when he gets thrown into arthur. not knowing who or where he is but still trying to hold the cards, arthurs disappointment that hes not who he wanted him to be. its a new kind of painful. its the odd solace that comes from a shattered mirror.

we see arthurs frustration but its almost nice to be able to hate him for not giving yellow more grace.

The Train: (4:19-8:10)

I have literally told this guy he looks 80lbs sopping wet before, this entire episode is perfect. the bickering, the team work, the having to navigate socializing, it feels so nice

The Tear: (12:14-22:48)

ya...

The Detective: [(3:50-7:05) (10:40-14:58)] (28:09-28:18)

we made the mistake of listening to this on the way to getting tacos and we just had to sit in the parking lot, crying as john got to be seen for the first time by an ally. I've never had the experience myself(others in our system are out tho) but seeing it go well for him sparked something in me, enough that it pulled us to front for the past few weeks. that, w. it was a very important moment to us

and on a completely different vibe, "have you ever... before?" fuckin "well with out my excellent call outs" silly guy

The Order II: (23:26-24:00)

huh? oh hes not talking to us

The Witch: [(16:11-17:24) (25:30-26:56) (29:00-33:17)]

the whole episode honestly, start to finish.

no, im not including the ending speech it makes me physically ill

WITCH: This woman cared for you?

JOHN: Yes. 

WITCH: Lies! She cared for your mortal!

JOHN: He couldn’t hear her! I was the one who received her care, her kindness, her –

WITCH: Intended for another!

JOHN: What does that matter!? She knew no difference between me or him! She knew nothing of the soul that heard her, whether it was… (He sighs in frustration.) It was the same care. The same… compassion. 

UUUUUUUUUGGGGG

Honorary Mentions:

all of johns memory issues in season 4:

how every time he came back he would be defensive saying "right, i knew that!" even when he didn't remember, that's a classic.

Intermezzo: (5:00-5:46)

kayne and his many many voices/me not me/ its not about the names were given its about the names we choose

every time jarthur says we/our

The King:

"well at least thats what the loudest voice in my head says" ya? and how many voices are in there?

[mdhwrites]

The Grimwalker as a concept was so weird. Mainly that Hunter was all 'ohhhh no we cant tell them im a spooky Grimwalker!' But... why would anyone care? The only reason given is that hes a reincarnation of a guy nobody even knows or cares about. Theres not even like, a spooky myth about Grimwalkers because its got such a vague ruleset and premise. He's barely different from a demon.

That COULD have linked to the demon discrimination plotline youve talked about, but there is none so it cant be that. Which i understand was partially because Dana wanted the gays to just exist, so she scrapped discrimination in general. But, a big part of forming cultures and identity is 'Otherness'. People compare themselves to others and define themselves by how theyre different. So scrapping discrimination ends up making the witchs and demons feel like nothing. They have nothing to compare their identity and culture against because theres just no conflict to spark comparison.

This lack of substance also means the fans don't care about Grimwalkers. See the moring comic where the Grimwalker was turned into ANOTHER way to say 'haha Boscha so cringe amirite? point and laugh because she has nobody who loves her.' even though the grimwalker is to reincarnate the dead.

OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY SOMEONE ELSE NOTICED THAT! *SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER* Like I know Mark just writes Boscha how the entire fandom sees her (which hasn't helped me enjoy A Hint of Blue, not that I think it's good regardless) but seriously what the fuck!? Why do that to her except just to be mean!?

*sighs* What were we talking about? OH RIGHT! Grimmwalkers.

So for why Hunter has anxiety, it actually is because TOH is doing a very basic clone/artificial human storyline with Hunter and those arcs are actually a lot more internally motivated than externally motivated. Clone lives a life believing they're their own person, then one day finds out they're not, perceives themselves as less because of this distinction but then in the end decides that regardless of their origin, they are their own person and so throw off their shackles, embrace who they are and become better for it. It has nothing to do with race and while it is baby's first clone story, I also still like it conceptually because, well, there's a reason why it's the default clone story. It especially is good for kid's media because while the clone can struggle with the anxiety of it, their friends never have to actually be bad or discriminatory against them because the point is loving yourself for who you are and not who you were made to be.

But I've talked before about how this basic framework actually has a Catch 22 built into it when it comes to Hunter... Which apparently Tumblr wants to tell me I've never done before. Thanks search function. The short version is that this template requires not only a rejection of what they were made for but for them to become distinctly different, usually opposite, to their purpose/original. For Hunter, he only knows Belos so this takes shape in trying to be the opposite of him. The problem is that the opposite of Belos... Is Caleb. Who Hunter mimics in every action he takes after getting away from Belos. There's literally no way to follow this template without adding complexities like him accepting his true origin and being okay/happy with that, something that was probably unlikely in general but especially wasn't going to happen with the shortening, which I will actually give people for. Because the Grimmwalker twist happens so late, they either had to cut it or had no time to actually do anything with it which like... Why not cut it? You did nothing with it and it actually made sure you didn't have the time to actually have Hunter reject Belos' morality so that his redemption doesn't come across as self serving and for survival more than an actual, you know, change to his beliefs.

As for how interesting Grimmwalkers are... They're just clones. Boilerplate, boring clones. Make a body based on another person, put memories in, BAM! Got yourself a clone. Doesn't get more classic than that. It's hardly even magical honestly besides the components, especially with how it actually doesn't give them magic despite those components, or have weird quirks since they're not actually made of flesh and blood, elements that the fans have had a lot of fun with that the show never does, though admittedly part of that is due to how late it happens. Then again, all magic in TOH is boring so it's not likely they would have anyways. Also, you know, a lot of shows will do a single clone episode and have more fun and magic to it than TOH does with one of their core cast members being one so *shrug*

Now, for the final part, I do want to also touch on the 'other' aspect because while discrimination is one way to do it, you can get this across in other ways. One such way is the core defining trait of the Grimmwalker from a tangible standpoint: He doesn't have magic. In a society that mostly has magic, him not having it is a big deal. It's literally what gives him and Willow their first connection as a couple, as insulting as that scene actually should be to Hunter.

And then Hunter is 'fixed' when he gains his magic. His 'other' status removed because he's a real boy now. *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*

I have so much more I could say about TOH and 'The Other' (made a blog about a lot of it between writing this draft and publish) but I'll leave it at that so it actually stays on topic instead of the half a dozen tangents I've deleted. None of this makes it good by the way and with how TOH tackles most subjects like this, it's incredibly unlikely that more time would have made it better. After all, being a Grimmwalker is only one of like a half dozen TANTALIZING character/arc concepts for Hunter that are never addressed. The fact that he is trained to kill witches and likely has. His relationship with the Isles because he doesn't have inherent magic. The fact that he is filled with such care for the nation and its government that it blocks out all else in his world. How a sheltered child reacts when they suddenly have freedom and are thrust into the wider world. Etc. etc. that are just footnotes to the writers more than anything to actually build a complete arc around or else they wouldn't have just keep adding to the angst bucket without actually resolving any of it.

So of course Grimmwalkers are bland while being a fine to good concept that's then made terrible by narrative implication or neglect. That's EVERYTHING to do with Hunter.

======+++++=====

Sidenote for this one: It is funny that Dana wanted there to be no bigotry in the Isles when her villains entire scheme is through religious persecution. You know, bigotry. Whole other blog I could go into.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[daedalusdavinci]

22, twobat. heard u were talkin SHIT

22. While someone demeans your lover, standing up for them. Either in word, or by physically placing yourself right in front of them as a protective barrier. im thinking about emotional dysregulation and a strong sense of justice and how bruce is the reason alfred lost all his hair. in the words of karkat vants: anger can be a love language. alksdjnfsldjknfs i am NOT editing this

You get in fights for him. You've been getting in fights since no one gave your parents a chance to, something in you quick to snap and your fists faster than anyone could stop. You don't know how many strings Alfred had to pull to keep you from being suspended in middle school, but you know it was a lot, because he used to pick you up with a sigh written in the lines of his face, white gloves hiding the tension in his hands on the steering wheel. Sometimes he tried to argue with you about it. You never folded, because you were certain you were right.

Your school records are a mud-stained mess of arguing with teachers, getting in between a bigot and a victim, and the crack of your fist against someone else's jaw. You grew up stocky and angry, and you never had a problem taking things outside so someone else didn't have to. You think a part of you still feels like if you take on every fight yourself, no one else will ever have to get hurt. Regardless, it means that the college you get into isn't near as prestigious as everyone expects of you, and you know Alfred had to grease a lot of palms to do it. You think he's hoping maybe you'll keep your head down for a few years, and the intellectual challenge will be enough to keep your fists steady.

But then you meet Harvey, and he's simultaneously everything Alfred wants for you and everything Alfred doesn't.

He's optimistic in a way you aren't, level-headed and determined, but filled with the same drive for justice you are. Unlike you, he got in with scholarships and smarts, and he tells you stories about the kind of lawyer he's going to be one day, and the way Gotham will change. He flips some kind of switch in your brain, and your plan for the future starts to take a slightly different shift, accommodating for a world where you're not the only one who cares. He motivates you. He challenges you. He makes you better, and you think Alfred would like the person you become when you're around him.

At the same time, Harvey's a brown kid struggling with some kind of disability you'd never heard of before you met him, and the privileged fucks around you can smell it. So you get in fights. You're so quick to snap to his defense, putting yourself between them and him because you've never done anything else in your life, and Harvey tells you he's sick of patching you up, because you're bleeding again and he thinks it's his fault and he's trying to make you laugh.

It works. It always works when it's Harvey.

In later years, they'll call him Apollo. He's the handsome white knight who brings light back to Gotham, and he'll find it embarrassing and flattering all at once. You'll tell him you think it's apt, and he'll shove you, laughing like you told him a joke. But in college, he's the sun you orbit your world around, warming you when nothing else will.

The dean calls Alfred after you land a kid in the hospital. He doesn't need hospital treatment, but his friends don't know medicine like you do, and they panicked. He'll be fine. Alfred still calls you, cold, clipped anger in his voice, and you feel like you're eight again, angry and muddy and past the point of reason, the crushing feeling of a meltdown spiraling past what you can handle. Alfred tries hard to be a parent, and he tries to be a butler, and you're his kid and his spoiled charge, and this isn't the first time the two of you haven't nailed the impression of a functional family unit. You fight.

Med students aren't supposed to hurt people. Med students aren't supposed to snap and beat the shit out of other students. Med students aren't supposed to have meltdowns, no matter how crazy the workload is, no matter how much injustice happens in the medical field alone, no matter how much injustice your best friend faces at the hands of people you're supposed to view as mentors. Med students aren't supposed to recognize themselves in the textbooks. The dean is threatening you, and you're supposed to shape up.

In a few days, you still haven't gotten over it. Alfred isn't talking to you, you're not talking to Alfred, and a call from Leslie only makes things worse. You don't go out of your way to pick fights, but you don't need to, because people seem a little afraid to say anything after you sent that kid to the hospital. Harvey tells you it'll blow over with a grim confidence that you take seriously. It sounds too much like he's speaking from experience.

Then, someone makes a comment about your parents. It's not a particularly interesting comment- you've heard much, much worse over the years, and they've lost a lot of their effect. It stings- it's cruel- but you brush it off. You're in enough trouble already, and you've never cared about standing up for yourself the way you do about standing up for others.

Harvey's fist snaps out before you know what's happening.

The kid is flat on his ass, gaping up at you both, and Harvey is brimming with rage. "Shut the fuck up," he says, thick and growling. "You'd be fucking lucky if your parents loved you half as much. They probably only sent you here to get rid of you."

"Harv!" You grab his arm, tugging his attention back to you. You're torn between shock and worry, but worried for him, and what this will mean for him once the stupid kid reports him to the dean. You think for a terrifying moment that he could get expelled, and selfishly, you don't know what you'd do here without him.

You can tell he's furious, but he lets you drag him away, ushering the both of you away from the scene before things can escalate further. You stand in an abandoned stairwell and Harvey's fingers clench and unclench in your sweater as you hold his arms, giving him time to breathe.

"You didn't have to do that," you tell him quietly.

"Shut the fuck up, Bruce," he scoffs. His gaze flickers up to your face, thumb grazing the bottom of a bruise that's purpled in the past few days. You didn't get out of that fight scot-free, but no one ever cares about that. Except Harvey, who always cares. "You don't get to talk to me about when I should or shouldn't stick up for someone."

You don't have anything to say to that. The words all dry up in your throat as you stare at him, caught on the heat of his touch, the soft brown of his lips, and the determination in his face, like he'd do it all over again. You've never met anyone who understood you the way Harvey does, who matched your drive for justice and inspired you so completely. You look at him the way an astronomer looks at the stars, struck by their beauty and complexity- understanding, and yet endlessly wanting to know more, to know everything, to hold something you don't think you ever can. "Okay."

Something pricks embarrassed in his face, eyes shifting away suddenly. You think his cheeks are a little darker, but it's hard to tell.

You'll think about that moment for years. For years, when you hold his face and try to figure out how to tell him all the ways you love him, and when you watch him become the hero you always knew he could be, and when you watch him fall, holding his hand in the hospital and meeting his eyes across a rooftop, you'll think about what it was like to be so young, trying to put words to the way you wanted to press your lips to his. You tell him, once, that you think you're always going to see that little college kid in him, and he laughs at you. His laugh has turned raspy after years of smoking, and the shake of his shoulders makes the chains rattle, but it's the same laugh. "Maybe it's better that way," he says, grinning. "We were two of a kind, back then."

"Three," you correct.

His grin turns a little more sincere, a little more embarrassed. He says his words like a tease, but it's only to lighten the truth. "We thought the sun shined out of your ass."

"That's just the light reflecting off of it," you say, and he laughs again. You still love his laugh.

These days, you fight each other. You don't think it'll ever stop you from loving them both every bit as much as you did then.

[blossoms-phan]

Sorry blossoms im going to get sappy for a moment, but the way Dan and Phil have genuinely made such an impact for each and every one of us makes me so emotional ☹️.

They’ve made me less scared for the future just in showing that life doesn’t end in your 20s and that you CAN reach a level where you’re happy and open about who you are. As a considered younger phannie, who is still surrounded by those who wouldn’t like who i am, and who is just beginning to navigate the murky waters of uni and other life ugliness, that message means the world to me. Dan and Phil and the community on here are incredible. They’re a sense of hope for me and I could only imagine how others feel the same!! Like i just LOVE how we have our own little phannie community and how its become close-knit with dnp. Its so sacred and special to us all for different reasons.

For once i cant wait for what the future has to hold! This whole new era and the accepting of past selves just makes me particularly emotional too. So with the first show right around the corner, Ive been thinking about this and I thought your inbox would be the one to yap in 😭.

(Also hi, yes its izzy :3, but im putting it as anon since this is long and sentimental)

this is so lovely and i completely understand you!! it makes me so happy seeing other phannies saying stuff like this cause like, idk i just don't think i could ever emphasize how important and special dnp are and the impact they've had on us to people that don't know anything about them. it makes me think of that post about relating to dan howell when he was 22 and still doing so now bc it's like we've grown up with them and quite a few of us are younger than them and it's just so insane to think about how much they did and went though when they were so young but like you said, it gives me so much hope that things get better! there's always so much room for growth and things to change for the better even if that change is difficult and it's been such a privilege watching them blossom and grow into their true, most authentic selves. this community is so, so important and the way it's swelled post-hiatus, leading up to tit, etc is so exciting and i just hope we all stick around to support each other and just soak in the craziness of whatever they do next. our mutual relationship with them is so special, they truly understand us, and this tour is definitely going to prove that with how much they're emphasizing confronting the past, healing our inner child and moving into this new era together <3

[youremyheaven]

Do you think those influencers who dramatically switch from very left wing Marxist alternative etc to very trad Christians (specifically in homophobic/transphobic way) have ketu influence?

You were talking about ketuvians and their struggle to find a sense of self and it made me think of these types of people. I know someone with ketu 1H and magha moon who did this to an extent. She used to identify as non binary and was constantly shifting through different names and pronouns but then one day she just kind of stopped and started saying how she thinks pride is pointless and a waste of time or whatever😭 it wasn’t *that* extreme but I still thought it was a significant shift in belief in such a short time.

I think a lot of people have this dramatic shifts not only out of a need to identify with something due to a lack of sense of self, but also because they like going back to what their parents believe for comfort. I guess those two are interlinked but it’s interesting how my friend is a magha moon and magha is associated with ancestors and whatnot.

I guess mula is somewhat similar as “the root”? Idk about ashwini though

Sorry I haven’t actually had the chance to look into examples since it’s hard to find birth data for influencers and I don’t know that many examples irl 😶‍🌫️ so this is me just going on a tangent and hoping you get what I’m trying to say LMAO

I’m also not sure if anyone else is familiar with this phenomena or if I’m just too engrossed in niche internet drama.

In terms of influencers I guess a somewhat prominent example is Freckle Zelda on tiktok? I never followed her but she went from making cutesy safe space liberal type content in like 2021 and now she’s a Christian and is using it be to super controversial. But like I said I’ve never followed her so idk if this is dramatic enough of a switch to count as what I’m saying.

I also feel like this a rahu trait to switch between extremes🤔 idk lmk what you think

I feel like the capitalist commodification of identity has most adversely affected Nodal people.

If you think about it, spirituality's aim is to transcend the "self" entirely, you stop identifying with labels and attaching yourself to this or that thing. I'm not saying you cease to be a person but you stop trying to "accumulate" identities to hold on to.

9/10 times the reason we identify with something is to feel a sense of belonging but searching outwards for it will only lead to disappointment, when we search within and feel at home within ourselves, we lose the need to externally confined ourselves to rigid "identities"

Yk how people dye their hair, get piercings/tattoos etc to mark a new chapter or the end of an old one or whatever??? It is an attempt to claim something as "yourself" and "solidify yourself". Everything changes all the time, everybody changes yet there are many people who will never dye their hair or change their name or join a cult or whatever (not that all these things are the same) its just that if you're at peace with yourself and truly grounded, you will no longer be shopping for different identities or things to associate with.

Yk those people who have IG bios that read like "Mother, Pluviophile, ESFJ, Petrolhead, UJC'22, Missourian, Ancient Spirit, 1/4th Cherokee, Bitcoin Enthusiast, EDM Lover"

like what do any of those terms say about them?? how on earth is any of this central to your identity? all of these are external ??? is loving rain and being a petrolhead central to your sense of self?? im not trying to demean anybody's interests, im only trying to point out that what we choose to make the focal point of ourselves is up to us and its possible to not be defined by anything?? i think a truly ugly consequence of capitalism is how people try to define themselves by things outside them (their interests, hobbies, job, income level, marital status etc etc) because there is more to a person than all that.

when we retreat within, we base our sense of self on our qualities like kindness, compassion, creativity (this becomes the essence of who we are) so we don't feel the need to claim 87373 other things to describe ourselves

some people overly identify with others like their partners, friends or even strangers and kind of become them. this is also the root of stan culture, by being obsessed with someone to that extent and giving them all your time and energy, you are losing your own qi and harming your Sun (the same way criticizing the appearance of others ruins your Venus)

Rahu is prone to taking things to extremes and Ketu is prone to trying on different identities and losing interest in all of them one after the other. so your observations are right.

i dont really use social media so i dont know any influencers that i can quote as examples ;-; but im thinking of certain celebrities who have had drastic style changes in the past and all of them have nodal influence lol

in the 2000s, the Olsen twins were known for their boho chic hippie style and over the last decade or so they have become known for their "quiet luxury" style. They are Magha Moon

Julia Fox is Ardra Rising and she went from basic to avant garde

Jared Leto, Mula Sun, Ashwini Moon & Rising , he's also the leader of a cult allegedly so👀i guess it all adds up

Adele, Mula Moon & Ardra Rising

im not just talking about her weight loss, just her overall change in style. she got married young and had a baby and in a couple of years she got a divorce and revamped her look to that of an ig baddie

Kylie Jenner, Swati Moon she's changed her style/demeanour every other year since the early 2010s lol

Taylor Swift, Ardra Moon has also had many diff lewkzz throughout the years

before anybody says dont celebs change their styles often?? no they dont, not everybody for sure. look at Jennifer Lopez or Sarah Jessica Parker, theyve been dressing the same since the 90s. constantly evolving style/looks/personality is a Nodal thing. its also a big part of the reason why Nodal people succeed in the entertainment industry and in the material realm (a lot of rich people including Bezos have Nodal placements) because entertainment = illusion, pretending to be someone you're not and for Nodal people, this is pretty much second nature.

im sorry that my response is kind of all over the place. your question provoked some thoughts within me lol and i just had to shareee

i cant think of celebs who have drastically changed their life paths like the example u cited ;-; EXCEPT Bridget Mendler who is an actor, singer, and entrepreneur, has a PhD and went to Harvard Law and now runs a satellite company?? she also adopted a kid during all this? She has Mula Sun

anywayyys thats it for now

tysm for sending this ask!!! its a very thought provoking and interesting question<33hope u have a good day<33

[salted-caramel-tea]

Are you fully removing yourself from dtblr now?

i’ve made a post with a brief summary of my thoughts and feelings right now but ur not the only person to ask so ill make another . the short answer is not really . long answer under the cut. we’re actually getting into my whole mental breakdown as well so tw for graphic desc of sa

i just need some time to figure things out . i know i sound like a broken record saying it but sa is not an easy topic to deal with for me personally . im aware that the situation was somewhat blown out of proportion and it doesn’t actually compare to the genuine coercion and force i experienced but the past few days have been heavy .

a lot of it is because of the frequency, i am so happy that people have been comfort so enough to come forward about their experiences but there has been a complete lack of nuance regarding all of these situations it’s been very reactionary and coming online seeing never ending untagged borderline graphic descriptions of sexual assault or rape affects me physically . it’s been 3 years and i still experience physical symptoms after being triggered . my ears start ringing, i get dizzy and out of breath and nauseous and i cry . bc i remember how terrible i felt . and nuts something that still affects my relationships to this day.

one thing about it is that i can really sympathise with caiti . our cases are different, i verbally and physically refused physical advances from my abuser but after it happened i found myself trying to justify it because I invited him to watch a movie with me I didn’t push him away enough and someone was interested in me!! at least someone was interested in me . and it’s why i have a hard time regarding the ‘regret’ comments . because i don’t know that if people knew my story they’d say i was just regretting being intimate with him and stating that because i now felt violated after regretting the experience it didn’t mean i was violated on the night . i don’t think my abuser knows what he did to me . but it doesn’t change the fact that he forced me into that situation . i also want to say i don’t really consider touching someone’s waist sexual assault . it can be a form of unwanted physical contact that makes you uncomfortable but the act unfollowed by any sexual contact is not sexual assault . i do believe her feelings are real however and i can sympathise with that delayed fear and discomfort .

this is not an isolated incident as i’m sure we are all aware . for as long as dtblr has been around there have been controversies of sex crime. a lot of them have been faked, we all remember the period of 2021-22 where there was a new burner account every week accusing a member of the dteam of sa until bbh threatened legal action against one of them . and then there was the drituation . although these were faked, they contained extremely triggering details of grooming and assault. i needed time away then too . i’ve said this through every drummy ache but nothing is worth our physical and mental suffering. there is no creator no person that i would allow myself to suffer for .

the internet is reactionary. people will say things and blow things out of proportion to further their moral activity even if it means deliberately spreading triggering misinformation as a punch in the gut to make people agree . i’m not talking about the victims right now but rather the reactions from fans . over the past few weeks we’ve seen allegations of varying degrees aligned in badness with one another when that simply isn’t the case . sensationalising trauma is the new in thing and it prevents private conversations where there should be some and it’s encouraged by fans online so they can get a fix of their daily drama .and i understand it’s because it’s involving large creators and people want to spread awareness of their behaviour but the line has to be drawn somewhere between what should be public and private matters and there has been a mix of both in the past few weeks .

this need to ‘take down’ someone as opposed to discussing matters in a private setting to come to an understanding of the events without the influence of the public has created a spectacle of sexual assault. anything that is mildly uncomfortable or inappropriate is being labelled as on par with sexual abuse or rape which is not the case at all and it’s creating environments that are actively harmful to survivors by having their traumas brought up where it isn’t necessary or equating people who have made mistakes or bad decisions to their abusers .

this is something that has been ongoing since 2020 and will continue to happen with varying degrees of validity behind these comments and its up to us as viewers to decide what’s real and fake depending on the evidence before us but we don’t know what’s been taken out of context what’s been fabricated what’s straight up slander vs what is real admissions of harmful behaviour and its exhausting to wade through . it might seem selfish that i’m kind of saying i don’t want to know about other peoples sa experiences but i dont . i don’t want to have to wade through pages upon pages of details or hours upon hours of proof to accuse or debunk someone of a topic that physically affects me .

i’ve already said i’m not becoming an anti i hold no serious denouncement of the dteam at all but i need to consider fandom dynamics and if i am willing to deal with these accusations over and over again because we all know it’s not going away . dream had people ADMIT they faked his grooming allegations and it’s still held against him . george did make someone uncomfortable and it’s not up to me to dictate caitis feelings on that but george’s perspective does put into play a perspective of body language that is being weaponised to jump to sa rather than bad communication and awareness of the situation . it’s a lot . and i need time to get myself into a better headspace and figure out if im willing to be involve in further reference of these events .

and also fuck quackity bc ppl are using the past few days to say oh quackity is the only good one left as if he’s not literally being monitored by international labour unions

::

im adding on a few things . i am uncomfortable with the way some people have been making light of the whole situations here . there’s borderline (fully) misogynistic posts flying around that are being shared as jokes and memes but it really diminishes the weight of some of the situations at hand and as well as the very real women discussing their situations . im not calling anyone out bc this is has been shared all over my dash so its clear that this is just a preference of mine that i personally find discomforting but i hate the way it makes me feel seeing posts relating abuse of women to homosexuality even though it is in a joking manner it just made me really uncomfortable .

im also tired of the words abuse and assault being thrown around without grounded evidence. there has been no sexual situations as far as we are aware . there has been no sexual contact as far as we are aware . there needs to be distinctions between what is discomfort or creepy and what is exploitation or abuse . i’ve been around lots of creepy guys but only one has sexually assaulted me . throwing words around without any substance behind them diminishes the value of the word until people see it as just another insult . by insinuating touching someone’s waist, although uncomfortable to caiti where she was unsure how to address she did not want that to happen, is a form of sexual assault it creates a form of radicalism of sexual abuse where it becomes is every uncomfortable touch a sex crime? no it’s not. it’s going to trivialise what it means to have been assaulted and being invalidation to victims from wider audiences with lines like ‘let me guess a guy touched your shoulder and you screamed assault’ . we are already blamed for what happened to us and to further trivialise it by mislabelling your discomfort and bad experiences as abusive or exploitative it’s providing a potential fan to those flames . and that’s why i say although i believe caiti is valid in the way she feels that her discomfort and delayed trauma is valid i do not believe she was a victim of a sex crime but rather she was in a position where she was made uncomfortable by a creepy older guy .

im also just so fucking tired to logging on to sex scandals of the dream team where everyone was 18+ and no sex occurred because at that point it’s just digging up anything you can to prove someone else’s hypothesis to be semi reality .

george did fuck up . he made a very young woman uncomfortable and should have prioritised reaching out to her to apologise for her discomfort and subsequent emotional weight instead of an extremely defensive take that, yes, can provide further situation but ultimately comes off as a take disregarding of the very real feelings that caiti was experiencing in order to prove people wrong . he is allowed to defend himself but the emotional impact on caiti should have been a lot better acknowledged . i just wanted to make sure that people were aware that despite the fact i do not think george is a sexual predator and that it is a phrase being extremely abused by the internet, i do believe he did something wrong in this situation .

this whole thing is messy and complicated and exhausting and punz needs to shut the fuck up nobody cares

[sturniolotrip-samandcolby-lover]

Matt sturniolo -little bean

Warnings -swearing,mention of abortion, mention of sex , vomiting use of y/n, arguing .Small age gap (matt 20 and reader 22) silent treatment

Angst/fluff Matt

Author note -thinking of making this into a series so let me know what you all think

Part 1

Word count-2k

I brush the hair out of my face ,as I wake up to a empty house.The house was full of silence as my boyfriend Matt and his triplets brother had left the house already for some business meetings taking place at the ware house.I look at the clock on my phone 10:47am shit thats late for me and im still shattered i dont even feel like ive slept at all. Im awoken from my sleepy daze by my stomach rumbled ,I get up brush my hair quickly and head to the kitchen to get something to eat .

I raid the fridge and cupboards in search for something to eat , I decide to have chopped up lettuce,pickled gherkins and some jolly ranchers .I finish my breakfast and head to the couch to watch some TV ,as I sit down I see a note that's been left on the coffee table it said 'hey baby me Chris and nick have got a few more meetings today then what we thought might be abit later home will bring back some late lunch with us .Matt xxxx'. A smile is present on my face the whole time I read his quick note with my cheeks blushed , Matt's smallest actions can still have a massive effect on me even after being together for over a year now .

I flick through the channels as nothing can satisfy me , I decided to open the YouTube app and put some Sam and Colby on specifically the conjuring from last year's hell week .I'm half way through the video when all of a sudden I feel so nauseous I can feel it building in my stomach like a tornado swirling around inside of me , it starts of slow and the next thing I know I'm running to the nearest bathroom thankfully it's matt and i shared one .I throw the toilet seats up and fall to my knees and close my eyes as the first bit of vomit comes rushing up my throat and out of my mouth .I sit there for the next hour bringing up whats left of this mornings breakfast and last nights dinner.

After minutes of waiting for the sickness to come back .I decided to stand up and reach for my toothbrush and paste ,as I brush my teeth I start to think of anything that could of gave me a bug or if there was a stomach bug going around .After minutes I've came to know conclusion of my sickness when it hits me .....shit Matt and I are usually careful if we don't use a condom we pull out or we get the morning after pill but a while ago I joined the triplets on their 6 million subscribers video .During the night having all the huts to ourselves Matt and I decided to get the hut as far from nick and Chris as possible .It safe to say there was some very animalistic behaviour going on in our tent that night , in the heat of the moment no condom or pull out was used and I could exactly get plan b pill from the gift shop so we just left it and thought well it's not going to happen .

I decide that before I start to get myself worked up in a panic , I'll go to the shop and do a test before the boys get back .Once I feel like I won't be sick again I go and throw some leggings and a jumper on leaving my top to go bra-less as I'm reminded of some achiness in them .I throw some crocs on and grab my car keys as i head out .

*Arrives back from shop*

I walk back into the house and I'm thankful that it's still silent meaning I'm the only one here .This is my first ever pregnancy scare so I'm not expert , I end up buying 7 different tests and some mints to settle my stomach and yet some more gherkins.I wonder around the kitchen with my hands full of tests in search of a cup or container as i dont feel like peeing 6 different times .I decided to keep one unused so i can do it again with matt incase he doesn't believe me .After finding a disposable cup I drink 3 cups of water and walk around the house doing some cleaning while I wait for the water to hit my bladder .I feel a urge to pee and walk to the bathroom, I position the disposable cup where it's supposed to be and let me bladder do it's job I open all the tests and when I'm finished place the 6 sticks into the cup .I start pacing the bathroom but decided that wouldn't be the best thing to do in this situation .So I make my way to the kitchen and put a kettle on figuring that a hot drink may help my nerves while killing the time awaiting the tests.I walk back to the bathroom once then minutes are up and as I pull all the tests out I stand in shock as they all say the same ....I'm pregnant.

Fuck fuck fuck is the only word that is running in my head , what am I going to do ,what am I going to say , what's Matt going to say his career is at its prime right now what will a baby do with this .Fuck their triplets , twins run on my side of the family what if there's more then one baby in there .I hold onto one of the tests in my shaky hands as I pace the bathroom.After minutes of walking around the small white tiled room I decided to hide all the tests and put them in a draw in Matt and my bedroom and I decide to text matt.

Y/n: hey babe was just wondering do you know how long you're gonna be xx

My phone pings instantly telling me that most likely it woul be Matt had texted me back

Matt:yeah not long just grabbing some maccies won't be long everything okay at home ? Xx

Y/n: yeah just got something to talk to you about xx

I avoid my phone until he gets back .I'm startled as I hear the door fling open and just one set of foot steps ."y/n?" I hear his familiar voice Matt is calling after me ."in the living room" I shout back to him .Seconds later he appears looking as perfect as usual "where's Chris and nick?" I ask him "they was fucking around when we was supposed to be signing cards for merch getting sent out so they went back to the warehouse to do their signing , Laura is gonna drop them off later tho .What's this thing you wanna talk about?" I pause with words moving rapidly around my head trying to think of the right way to tell him that I'm now pregnant with his child .I decide that no words are the right words so I take him by the hand and lead him to the bathroom.

His body stills while his eyes move over what the tests all say .The room is silent , too silent."Matt says something " I say breaking the silence ."when did it happen" he says still not taking his eyes off the tests "at the safari , in the hut that night" I respond back to him "fuck" he mutters to himself as he storms out the door .I stand there in silence as my eyes well up with tears.I hear the jingle of Matt's car keys and the door slamming telling me that Matt had left again and gone in his car .I walk into the living room now numb with emotions my hand rests on my lower stomach now knowing that through the layers of skin and muscle is our baby ,my baby the size smaller then a bean in this moment I know that I've got to keep this baby wether Matt wants it or not .

Minutes pass and my nauseous feeling comes over me again as I run to the bathroom again.I spend all the best part of an hour again with my head in the toilet when I stand up again feeling weak at my knees I brush my teeth for the 3rd time today trying to get rid of the vile aftertaste left in my throat .I hear the door go again but i hear 3 set of footsteps this time ,and voices nick ,Chris and matts voice ."what are you gonna do bro?" I hear Chris ask Matt "I don't know"he responds "well you and y/n have gotta talk this out Matt you can't just leave her in the bathroom like you did last time " I hear nick snap at the boys .

"Y/n" I hear nick call out me ."I'm on the bathroom just about to come out" I shout back as I walk into the kitchen .Matt's angry stare softens as he seen my face , I'm now pale and clammy with my skin layered in a thin amount of sweat ."congratulations" Chris says breaking the tension in the room "thank you" I say with a half smile ."so I think you two have gotta talk about this" nick states ."I'm not getting rid of it" I say quickly that being the only thing I'm sure of right now ."I wasn't even going to suggest that" Matt says with anger in his voice .Nick ,places his hand up to Matt in a urge to shush him "calm Matt" he says to him."is it mine ?"matt asks me looking me in the eye "are you fucking kidding me" i say in the exact tone that matt has.Nick and chris take this as a hint and both excuse themselves to different rooms "yeah I'm being real" he says raising his voice , it being full with anger ."you're the only person I've slept with matt you know that" i say to him storming off into our shared room .

*Few hours later*

I hear a knock at the bedroom door hoping that it's Matt ."come in" I shout sounding optimistic.The door opens and nick strides in with a sorry smile on his face "so that was intense" he says as he sits down next to me on the bed "yeah" i agree with him ."so i dont know if this is the right thing to say but im really glad your'e keeping the baby" he says nudging my arm ."yeah i am too , i just hope that matt feels the same " i say smiling properly for the first time today ."alright its getting late so I'll leave you to sleep i heard creating a baby can be tiring "he says with a small laugh.

Just as nick leaves the room Matt enters it , he ignores me acting as if I'm not in the room as he goes to the wardrobe grabbing some spare pillows and duvet he walks back out of the room as I sit in bed listening to him getting comfortable on the sofa .I think to myself how much of a long night I'm in for I can never sleep properly when I'm not with Matt and even worse knowing that he's mad at me .As the thoughts come to my head added with the extra hormones that pregnancy has brought on my eyes start to fill with tears when they fall down my face .I have so many questions running over my head thinking how I'm going to bring up a baby by myself although nicks previous words bring some form of comfort to me .As the clock strike 4 am and im still wide awake and emotional i decide to head to the bathroom and take a calming bath .Im thankful that both nick and chris's rooms are on different levels as I run the tab the sound of water echos through the room .I rid of my clothes and get into the bath now full of bubbles I close my eyes in attempt to relax.

Suddenly my nauseousness creeps up on me again , who ever called morning sickness 'morning' has never experienced this cus it seems to be all throughout the day already .I jump up from the bath with my wet hair sticking to my body as I move quickly to the toilet I throw the lid up and sit on the floor as bile begins to leave my body .I startled as a soft towel is wrapped around my body ,I look up to see Matt crouching next to me with his eyes full of tears himself .His hand rubs circles on my back as I start gagging again ."let it out baby it's okay" he whispers I release bile 3 more times as I pull back and rest my head on Matt's shoulder as he pushes my hair out of my face ."come on let's go to bed and talk " he says so quietly careful not to wake his two brothers up .He stands up and picks me up bridal style still with the towel wrapped around me .He carries me to our bed and uses his foot to close the door as he places me gently on the bed .He goes to our wardrobe and fetches me some shorts and one of his tops , he helps me get dressed as my body is weak from the vomiting.Once I'm dressed I lay in bed as Matt walks over to the other side of the bed and jumps in to bed with me .I sit waiting for him to speak "y/n im sorry for what i said and done earlier i know that you would never cheat on me and id never ask you to get rid of it .Whatever you choose ill support you .Im sorry ive treated you like that when you needed me the most ..." I cut his speech off with a kiss "I know , I know babe and we're going to be fine I want to keep this baby tho" I say to him looking him in his eyes "we're going to be a mommy and daddy" he says to me smiling ."we best tell our parents" I say to him before falling asleep in his arms .