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lightsoutmatthews · 2 months ago

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It´s always been you - Nathan MacKinnon

summary: you and Nathan used to date but things came to an end one day in Nova Scotia. Attending the Makar´s wedding together wasn´t something you planned on doing, but unfortunate circumstances leave you no other choice. What happens when old feelings who seemed to be forgotten, aren´t as forgotten as you thought they were?

pairing: Nathan MacKinnon x female!reader

word count: 8.8k

warnings: alcohol consumption, heavy make out, allures to sex (no on page intercourse) probably still advise to read at your own risk if you are not +18

authors note:

I know Cale did not get married in Mexico but for the sake of the story we will imagine he did

I took this idea from a prompt list over the summer, unfortunately I can´t find it anymore to tag the creator

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The Makars wedding invitation came when you were still together, now it was pinned to the pinnboard in your new apartment, weeks after you and Nathan had broken up.

It wasn’t that the break-up came out of the blue, fights had cracked your relationship. Nathans hard working ethic when it came to hockey often something that got in the way. Not that you blamed him. But he and the Avalanche once again failed to make it further than the second round of the playoffs, losing to the Stars in six games.

He grew cold. Not the first time it happened. Nothing you hadn’t dealt with before, but you were tired of it. The arguments, the storming out and the days without hearing from him after he left for Halifax were the final nail in the coffin you needed to end things.

You flew to Nova Scotia just like you were supposed to but left the next day with a broken heart and the determination to find a new apartment as soon as possible. You did after a few days somehow, finally moving out of your… of Nathans apartment.

You moved on, trying not to think about him too much, trying not to let the different corners of Denver remind you of memories the two of you shared.

Then the week of the wedding came.

Cale and Tracy would get married in Mexico, something that had been planned months in advance. Something you had planned together with Nathan. Something you had also booked together with Nathan.

You tried talking to Tracy, hoping she and Cale had another room so that you could attend. Attending together with Nathan something you weren’t ready to. Unfortunately, there were only so many rooms they booked for the wedding.

Tracy said it was your choice if you´d attend but in the same breath she made clear that there was no way they would ask Nathan to not attend. Not that you ever expected them to.

So, tomorrow you would leave for the wedding. How it would pan out something you would deal with when you got there. But then the message pinged your phone.

Nathan MacKinnon: We should talk about the wedding.

No hello. No how are you. Just we need to talk about the wedding.

At first you were unsure if you should reply. Starring at the phone for minutes, the chat open, his words doubling over in your mind.

I Yes, we should.

No indication as to where, how and why exactly, nothing more than his text.

Nathan MacKinnon: I emailed them asking if I can cancel the reservation and book two separate rooms, they declined and said we would not get our money back if we cancelled.

I I asked Tracy the same thing, she said basically the same to me.

I You can go. I don’t need my money back either. Cale is your friend and teammate.

Nathan MacKinnon: I don’t want to keep you from the wedding of a friend.

I And what is your plan? Are you offering to sleep on the beach?

You were slowly getting annoyed with him. Dealing with this over text pissed you off. If he wanted to speak, he could at least have the guts to call.

Nathan MacKinnon: We could attend like planned. Sharing the hotel room. We were together for three years, we can deal with this.

You rolled your eyes.

I Yeah, and there´s a reason we´re not anymore.

Nathan MacKinnon: We can be civil with each other for one week. For our friends.

You swallowed. Hard.

He was right and as much as you did not want to share a hotel room with him for a week, Tracy and Cale wanted both of you there. They planned this expecting you to be there together. For the sake of their special day you could pull through, right? You wouldn’t have to be around him aside from when you would both be sleeping, right?

I You´re right. It´s just a week. We cohabitated without speaking for almost as long before.

You knew it was a low blow. Throwing his behavior at him years after it happened but you could not let him think this would be anything but you doing this for the sake of your friends.

Nathan MacKinnon: I´ll let Cale know, see you there.

--------------------------

Two days later you got off the plane in Mexico. The heat outside hitting you like running into a wall. It had been warm in Denver but August heat in Mexico was a different beast.

Just like the entire plane ride the shuttle to the resort had you overthinking. What had you thought agreeing to room with Nathan for a whole week? He was your ex-boyfriend for goodness sake.

Anger was still lingering underneath your skin. Maybe even a little love that was still left for the man who you shared a life with for multiple years.

You weren’t prepared to face him again, but when you stood in front of the wooden hotel room door with shaking hands you knew there was nothing you could do.

You stood there outside the room for longer than you probably should have. The heat from the burning sun giving you a sunburn through your shirt but it was still more comfortable than facing who was inside the room.

You heart couldn’t beat faster if it tried. Not even running a marathon could made you breathe this heavy.

But when the door opened a few seconds later everything stopped. The droplets of sweat on your face suddenly more prominent than ever. The slight breeze that was brushing over your skin spreading goosebumps alongside your arms.

He looked the same as when you left him in Halifax. Unsurprising, given it had only been a couple of weeks.

He was a little more tanned. His hair seemed blonder, probably from the sun as well. His bright blue eyes hidden by a pair of sunglasses you hadn’t seen him wear before.

The world moved in slow-motion as you looked up at his tall frame. His lips were moving but didn’t register any words that left his mouth, too caught up by this being the first time you met him since the breakup.

“I´m sorry, what?” You breathed out, voice quiet. His brows furrowed and a shiver immediately ran down your spine. “I said, there you are, the front desk called the room asking if you made it her okay. I was just leaving to meet some of the guys at the beach, see you later.” Before you could get another word out, he was already ten steps down the path vanishing as quickly as he apeared.

The door snapping shut right in front of your nose pulled you back into reality. The interaction leaving a bad taste in your mouth. Of course, you came here hoping to interact with him as little as possible, but somehow you did not expect him to give you the cold shoulder.

With a loud sigh you finally gathered the courage to enter the room. The coolness of the air-conditioning a strong contrast to the heat outside. Nathans familiar smell hung in the air, indicating that he had been here for quite a while.

Stepping further into the room you noticed his suitcase next to the small couch that formed the center of the main part of room. To the left was a door to what you guessed the bedroom and to the right another door that probably led to the bathroom. You would explore in a second because what really captured your attention was the patio. It held a small pool, some deck chairs and a path that led right to the beach.

The beautiful turquoise that you were faced with at the end of the path took your breath away. The palm trees and flowers that lined the path down to the sand nothing like you had seen before. Cale and Tracy picked a beautiful place to get married and you would enjoy your time here regardless of the man you had to share a room with.

----------

The first wedding activity followed that evening. You hadn’t seen Nathan until shortly before you had to leave. His eyes lingered on your flowy sundress a little too long for your liking when he opened the door, but he went for a shower without any word.

The resorts restaurant where Tracy and Cale held their welcome dinner was equally as beautiful as the rest of it. The sun, which was dipping low over the ocean, colored the surroundings in a soft orange glow.

When you stepped into the area reserved for the wedding party you were greeted with people, friends, you hadn’t seen since the hockey season ended for the Avs in mid-May. Susanna Ranta and Mel Landeskog immediately embraced you with hugs and how are you´s before pulling you a chair on their table.

Mikko and Gabe acknowledged you with soft smiles but no words. Their two girls the ones you had been closest with while being in the wag circle of the Colorado Avalanche, you considered them more than acquaintances but since they´re still Nathans friends, they´re not yours.

----------------------

He entered the patio with the confidence that surrounded him wherever he went. He was walking like he owned the place, his light summer pants rustling with the steps he was taking. The navy shirt matched them perfectly.

You always appreciated his ability to style himself. It had always been easy to match if needed.

His large strides led him to your table, Mikko and Gabe obviously being the guys he wanted to sit with.

His eyes roamed, once again lingering on your frame for longer than a normal glance should be. Goosebumps formed at the back of your neck when his piercing blue eyes met yours for a brief second, before he looked away again and pulled out the chair across from you.

The energy around the table shifted as he sat down. The air was heavier than before. Everyone obviously knowing your history. No one knowing how they should react. Susanna asking if you had a good trip here broke the silence a short while after. Following that the guys broke into their own conversation.

You didn’t miss how Nathan´s eyes flicked to you occasionally. Lingering. Almost longing.

You ignored it, rather falling into comfortable conversation with Mel and Susanna about the summer. They painted beautiful pictures about the home countries of their partners. Sweden and Finland always having been countries you wanted to visit.

Gabe and Mikko clinked themselves in when they picked up on the topic, raving about how you really needed to visit and how you could stay at their places no questions asked. Many polite smiles and nods were shared. You knew you didn’t belong into their circle anymore, but they still felt like the friends you were when you and Nathan were together.

--------------

The itinerary told you tomorrow would be a relaxing day with different activities planned. You talked with Mel and Susanna about joining Tracy and some of her friends at the beach and later at the resorts spa. You had seen the place when you walked here. The epitome of luxury combined with calm, and relaxation immediately drew you in. A massage truly was what you needed after the past weeks.

When you returned to the room after taking a walk along the beach. Nathan was already there. You were faced with his muscular back as you walked through the door.

He was hunched over his suitcase, looking for something. His back muscled moved as he searched, his big biceps, which hiding behind used to be your save space somehow seemed even bigger than before.

The memories of being snuggled up against his side on the couch, his arms wrapped around you, keeping you save, flooded your mind. You blinked rapidly to wash them away before making yourself known.

“Do you still need the bathroom?” He flinched, apparently, he hadn’t heard you come in. The air shifted when he stood. The space suddenly feeling incredibly small.

“No, all finished. You can take the bed too, I´ll take the couch.” You took at the uncomfortable looking piece of furniture. It was small, there was no way it could hold all six feet of him. He probably would have to tuck in his legs to fit.

“I can´t let you do that. Your back will kill you tomorrow.” His eyebrows shot up, but he didn’t reply. “How else would we solve this?”

“Let´s just sleep in the bed. We´re both adults, Nathan, we can handle sleeping side by side. We did it for years.” He brushed his hand through his already tussled hair and sighed. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It´s fine. Let´s just go to sleep and get this over with as quickly as possible.” You could see that he swallowed hard. But he didn’t say anything this time either, just gave you a single nod before going back to searching in his suitcase.

You didn’t bother making any more conversation, leaving for the bathroom instead, where you took a long shower, delaying the return to the bedroom where he undoubtedly would already be asleep or still scroll through his phone.

You took your time brushing your teeth, going through all the steps in your skin care routine, spending extra time on massaging the creams in just to spend more time away from him.

After, you scrolled through your phone for another five minutes but when tiredness took over your vision and you were ready to go to sleep you mustered up the courage to go outside again. The doors to the balcony were still open, the soft sounds of waves crashing to the shore mixing with unfamiliar animal sounds. It gave you a sense of peace, the bustling atmosphere of Denver usually not holding this sense of calm.

You paused for a second, watching, breathing in the salty air that filled the room, before closing the door. The absence of the nature sounds casting it in silence.

No sounds were coming from the bedroom either but when you entered Nathan was still awake, typing on his phone.

He didn’t say anything, but his eyes found and roamed your body as soon as he spotted you. They followed you as you walked only looking away when you sat down on the other side of the bed. You didn’t miss how he settled on his usual side. The side he had taken in your shared home as well.

You weren’t sure if it was out of habit or because he knew that you preferred to sleep on the side facing the window and you shouldn’t be touched by the gesture. But you were.

--------------

When you woke up the next morning something heavy was draped around your waist and your back was unusually warm. Yes, you were still in Mexico, but this was not the heat from the sun already burning down outside.

Your mind didn’t process, just took in the warmth and went back to sleep. Not for long until you realized who exactly was giving you this warmth. Turning around quickly but carefully you were faced with a sleeping Nathan. His arm still wrapped around you as his chest rose and fell slowly, steadily.

Being close to him again was familiar, comfortable even, his body one you fell asleep next to for a long time. But when your brain caught up with the situation you scrambled away from him which woke him up, blinking heavily to get rid of the sleep in his eyes.

When he grasped what had happened, he ran his hand over his face and sighed loudly. “I´m sorry.” He broke the silence, his voice still heavy with sleep. “Force of habit, probably,” he continued.

You knew you should call him out on it, tell him it cannot happen again. But you couldn’t say the words. So, you just glared at him, and he glared back at you. Until he ripped his glance away and got up, almost running out of the bedroom, fleeing an uncomfortable situation.

You let him. It was for the better.

---------

After breakfast you met up with some of the girls to go to the spa. The group enjoying almost the whole day getting pampered. You had never felt so relaxed. The situation with Nathan this morning being pushed out of your mind as soon as the misuse started rubbing your back, easing you of the tension that had followed you since you had left Nathan back in Halifax.

Chatter follower as your group made their way to the pool early afternoon. You would meet with the girls respective partners for a late lunch. Everyone being paired up again as soon as you arrived stung a little more than you expected. This should’ve been you and Nathan as well.

Said man was leaning against a chair a few steps away from his friends and their partners. He looked as misplaced as you felt.

Mel shot you raised eyebrows as you kept looking in his direction. Taking in the body you were once completely familiar with. The subtle shake of your head made her look away again.

Thoughts filled your mind. Thoughts about the vacations you and Nathan had taken. Last year’s off-season, when you spent the summer at his house in Halifax. He was walking around shirtless most of the day when you were at home because the heat was unbearable. As little clothing as possible was the only option.

The number of times this had ended with him dragging you inside, taking off the little clothing you had left and worshipping you until the both of you passed out, were uncountable. The best summer of your life, you had described it to the other girls when the both of you returned to Denver in early September.

“You´re starring.” The voice right next to your ear snapped you out of the memory. Gabriel Landeskog was standing there, shooting you a shit eating grin while wiggling his eyebrows into his friends direction.

You swatted at his chest and laughed. “I was not starring.” Both of you knew it was a lie, but he let it slip. “He was starring too, he´s just better at covering it up.” Gabe´s confession made you heart beat faster. You took a second to take in a deep breath. The sun suddenly feeling way to hot on your skin. The closeness to Gabe suddenly being too much for you.

“I´m going to get another drink,” you mumbled, hoping he heard it, before you almost sprinted away. The floor burning the bottoms of your feet as you walked. You ignored it, just wanting to get away from the situation. He was starring too. Gabe´s words echoed through your head.

But you reminded yourself that you couldn’t go down this road.

----------

In the early evening the whole group met up at one of the resorts bars that had been reserved for the night. You didn’t return to the group after Gabe had stated the obvious to you earlier. You didn’t see Nathan prior to the party either.

You knew he had been in the room when you retuned from another walk on the beach. His swimming trunks were drying on the balcony and a pair of his sneakers were missing. You didn’t question where he went, it wasn’t your problem anymore. As much as the past two days had given you a familiar feeling with a hint of habit.

-----

Arriving at the party Tracy handed you a colorful looking drink which you immediately took a big sip out of. She didn’t question where you went that afternoon, just shot you a knowing look and nodded to the back of the terrace where Cale was surrounded by his teammates, Nathan included.

You ex-boyfriends eyes found yours as soon as you stepped further into the space. The neon lights reflecting, giving them a slight sparkle. He was sipping from a bottle of beer as he more or less listened to Miles Wood telling a story.

Your glance was looked on his for a while. It was like this was a game. Whoever looked away first lost.

It was him who broke away, when Cale wrapped his arm around his shoulders. Looking like he had already some beers in his system, rocking back and forth, clinging to his friend for support.

The warmth that fled through you as you kept looking at him was familiar. It felt like every other party you had attended together. Him wandering off to chat with people, but always keeping an eye on you, always making sure you´re okay and had everything you needed.

Maybe it was a force of habit, like the cuddling this morning.

“You and Nate seem awfully like you used to.” Mel said next to you, making you jump. “It´s nothing.” She shook her head laughing. “Sure, nothing, just like it was nothing when you ran away this afternoon after my husband told you that he´s been behaving just like you.” She took another sip of her drink, and you followed suit, avoiding having to answer immediately.

“It´s nothing, Mel. We used to be together, we´ve only been split up for a few weeks. Old habits die hard.” The blonde raised her eyebrows. “Sure, keep telling yourself that you and he are not shooting longing glances at each other all day.” With a wave of her hand, she left again, disappearing as quietly as she had shown up at your side.

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Hours into the party the music was drumming in your ears, louder than it probably was. You were a few cocktails deep into the night and the soft buzz had made itself known as you almost stumbled into a waiter who was trying to deliver another load of beers to the group of Avalanche players sitting around one of the few tables that were placed around the open space.

You were desperate to sit down at one. Your feet burning from the heels you had been wearing all night, but every chair was occupied. So, you opted to lean against the fence that split the bar area from the rest of the restaurant it belonged too.

The sun was low on the horizon, telling you it was not that late, yet people were leaving, the early starting hour of the party something no one was really used to but most of them appreciated since tomorrow the wedding activities would resume with the rehearsal dinner as well as final preparations for the big day two days from now.

Tracy and Cale had been the perfect example of a couple heavily in love, preparing for the best day of their lives. When slower songs were played the couples gathered on the makeshift dance floor and danced, clinging to each other. This should have been you as well. You should be out there with Nathan.

The more you thought about the man, the more it stung and that odd feeling of longing and missing something you once had crept its way into your mind. When Nathan took one of Tracy´s friends for a spin jealousy was probably written all over your face. You tried to hide it but old feelings that you should’ve buried deep inside you bubbled up again, telling you that you maybe weren’t as over your ex as you thought you were.

---------

When a thunderstorm made its way upon the resort everybody retreated to their rooms. The silent bolts of lightning followed by the blaring rumble of thunder let shudders move all over your body. You had never been a big fan of thunderstorms. Sleep being impossible most nights they occurred.

Whenever he was home Nathan had held you. Rubbing soothing circles on your back until you fell asleep and he knew you were safely tucked in his embrace. There was nothing more you wanted to do right now than to experience this again.

Maybe it was the alcohol or the protected feeling he always gave you as soon as you were pulled against his chest but the thought of not having it today made you let out a quiet sob. Emotions crashing down on you heavy.

There was so much that was better when Nathan was in your life. Being with him but not actually being with him had shown you how much your lives had been intervened when you were together.

The silence of the room did not help the sadness that was suddenly overwhelming you. Lightning casting the space in a bright flash every other minute followed by the walls almost shaking from the thunder and the thoughts of the past made the tears fall quicker than you imagined.

You tried to take deep breaths. Grounding yourself by lying flat on the bed trying to calm down. When it didn’t work you curled yourself into a ball and let the tears fall. Stopping them would be more exhausting than just letting them out anyways.

You weren’t sure when the door opened but at one point Nathan returned from wherever he went when the party started to clear out. The feeling of not being alone anymore something that calmed your heartbeat like it knew that the man on the other side of the door would slip into bed momentarily providing the comfort you so desperately craved.

Only this time you would get it. He would turn around, facing the door, maybe scroll through his phone for a few more minutes before he would close his eyes and sleep. All that without acknowledging the stare you were currently in.

Your heart wrenched at the thought. Another sob leaving your mouth, the sound probably louder than you wanted it to be.

With the sheets pulled up higher, hoping the fabric would absorb some of your heartbreaking cries you turned around and faced the window again. Lightning still flashing outside, rain heavy and loud against the glass.

The darkness was heavy too. Like it was hiding secrets you never wanted to come into the light. Specifically, the thoughts about how much you missed being around Nathan.

He came into the bedroom at one point, using his phone screen as a flashlight. Your shoulders were still shaking. He can´t see this, you thought, quietly pulling the sheets even higher to try and hide not only from him but from the world.

When a strong arm wrapped around your waist moments later you flinched harder than you probably should have. The warmth of his body a strong contrast to the cool room. “Shhhh. It´s okay. I´ve got you.” He mumbled into your hair, softly brushing some of it out of your face. You were stunned by the tender action. This being the last thing you expected him to do.

He pulled you into his chest and interlinked his fingers with yours. The familiarity of his hand in yours something that calmed you down in an instant. There were many questions in the air but there was no time for them right now. That was a conversation for the next morning.

As he kept rubbing soft circles over your back, whispering soft nothings in your ear, you finally drifted off to a light sleep.

At this point just glad he was there for you, like the last time there was a thunderstorm. Little did he know, he was part of the thunderstorm that was brewing inside you.

-------

Waking up in Nathans arms the next morning felt less uncomfortable than it was the morning prior. His massive arms were still wrapped around you, your head resting on his chest, while his legs were tangled with yours.

When you looked up at him, he was already looking down at you. His eyes soft, roaming over your face, a small smile spread across his lips. Everything about this moment felt like before. Like the breakup had never happened and you were here at the wedding happy and still very much in love.

Were you still in love?

“Morning,” Nathan mumbled. “Hey,” you whispered back. His grip immediately loosened around your waist. Like reflex you pushed yourself further into his chest until he wrapped them around you again.

If this was the last opportunity you had of being close to him before everything would go back to how it was yesterday you would take it. Regret be damned.

Silence spread through the room again. The sun casting it in a soft glow. The chaos from last night almost forgotten.

You weren’t sure how long you just held each other. Both taking in the comfort the other person brought, maybe for the last time.

You felt him move and even though your eyes were closed you knew he leaned his head down again when he placed a kiss, nothing more than a light brush, to the top of your head.

The tender action made you whimper into the fabric of his shirt.

When he placed a hand on your cheek and made you look at his again it was filled with so many emotions at once. Longing. Regret. Love.

His eyes started to flicker between your eyes and your lips. Your thoughts racing a mile an hour trying to figure out what his next move would be.

On the one hand you desperately wanted him to lean down and kiss you. Feel his soft lips against yours again after weeks of being deprived of them. On the other hand, this would complicate things so much. What would happen if you went down that road again? What would you want to happen?

Before you could overthink too much Nathan took the decision from you and leaned down to connect your lips. For a second at first, like he was trying to see what your reaction would be. When you did nothing but look up at him with pleading eyes he leaned back down, the kiss much more heated this time.

It felt like he was pouring every emotion he had into this kiss. Everything he didn’t say, everything he wanted to say but maybe was too afraid to.

You interlaced your arms behind his neck and pulled him closer into the kiss, equally trying to pour as many emotions into it.

You didn’t know how long you made out like that but at one point he started to slowly move his hands to the hem of your shirt and that’s when you pulled back. “Nate,” you whispered out of breath. Your lips were swollen from the minutes they had been on his.

He immediately pulled his hand back. “Sorry.” He rushed to get up, so fast he got tangled up with the sheets, almost planting onto the floor face first. “God,” he said, smashing his hand against the nearest wall when he stood solid again.

You were surprised at his sudden outburst. “Sorry, I´m…. shit… I´m sorry. I shouldn’t have.” Words failed him as he kept brushing his hand through his hair and over his face.

“Nate,” you said, quietly at first, but when it gained no reaction from the man across from you, you repeated yourself louder. “Nate!” His eyes snapped back to you, and he stopped in his motions.

“Will you calm down, please,” you plead. His eyes seemed darker in the morning light, but they were still equally as piercing when they starred directly at you. “Why are you sorry?” The question left your mouth before you could think about it.

“I… We broke up. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, we´re here to celebrate our friends.”

You leaned your head back against the headboard and starred at the ceiling. “Don’t be. It´s not like you forced me into this.” From the corner of you eye you saw his posture relax at your words. “Still, we´re her for four more days. I don’t want you to not be able to look me in the eyes at breakfast later.”

When you got up and walked over to him you did the least rational thing you probably should have done in this situation. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss.

He placed his hands on your back and pulled you flush against his chest, deepening the kiss immediately.

When you wrangled yourself out of his hold another few minutes later, he eyed you curiously. “See, now we´re equal,” you whispered against his lips before pressing one last kiss to them and rushing out to the bathroom.

------------------

When you arrived at breakfast Nate was already sitting at a table with the Landeskog´s, Miles Wood and Ross Colton. Everyone greeted you with a warm “good morning,” before you sat down at the only empty chair. Obviously, it was next to him.

“Do you have any plans until the rehearsal dinner?” Miles asked mid chew which made you chuckle. “Nothing exciting.” Was the collective response.

You didn’t miss how Nate kept eying you from his seat. The kisses had not left your head ever since you had stormed out of the bedroom and locked yourself in the bathroom under the disguise of getting ready for breakfast.

How soft his lips felt against yours, how perfect you still melted together was all you could think about when you looked at the man sitting next to you.

“What´s up with you two?” Ross called out after he apparently observed your subtle non interactions for a few minutes. “Nothing,” Nate replied too quickly which earned him a round of raised eyebrows.

You tried to look anywhere but into Nate´s general direction. When your eyes met Gabe´s across from you his face held a knowing smile, but he promised you with a subtle nod that he wouldn’t say anything until the two of you said something first.

You appreciated that, there was nothing to tell anyways.

The rest of the day was spent tanning at the beach. You finally took the chance to continue to read you book while the other girls had another day at the spa and Tracy was running around with her wedding planner for last minute preparations for the big day tomorrow.

The guys followed your idea and set up a game of volleyball at the beach. Every now and then you ogled the group, they´re hot athletes, there was nothing wrong with that.

Nate´s eyes caught you starring more than once and he shook his head with laughter before pushing his sunglasses into his hair and shooting you a wink.

It was a simple gesture that shouldn’t make butterflies flip in your stomach. The kiss from the morning once again playing on repeat in your head and you wanted to do nothing more than to walk over to the group and beg Nate to give you another.

“What are you daydreaming about?” Tracy´s voice almost made you jump out of your chair. “Nothing really. Just thinking.” You put the bookmark back into the book and put your whole attention to your friend. The subtle voices of the guys faded into the background and started to mix with the waves crashing down on the shore. You tried to focus on that instead of giving away what you and your ex-boyfriend had been doing just hours prior.

“Just eye-fucking the ex-boyfriend, what´s the big deal really, right?” Your eyes shot up and you starred at her like she just caught your red-handed. “I knew it,” she almost shouted. “You still have feelings for him. Shit, I owe Gabe 50 dollars.”

Your brows furrowed. “You and Gabe placed a bet on me still having feelings for Nate?” She grinned. “I´m sorry?” It was more a question than a real apology. “You two were so good together, we were just rooting for you.”

“We were for a while, then we weren’t anymore.”

She placed a comforting hand on your arm. “You both looked out of it at breakfast this morning, what happened?”

“Nothing really,” you paused, considering your next words carefully. “He comforted me last night when the storm happened.” She placed her sunglasses on her head, eying you suspiciously. When she didn’t say anything, you hoped that she believed you.

It wasn’t a complete lie. You just left out that after that the two of you made out in the morning, twice.

“I have to get back to the venue. If there´s anything you want to talk about you know I´m always here for you, right?” Your arms wrapped around her before she could finish speaking. “Of course.”

She smiled when you let go of her again. “Keep ogling your ex, Cale told me Gabe told him he likes it.” With that she got up and left you alone again.

------

For the first time on the trip Nate and you walked to the room together after the afternoon spend on the beach. You didn’t speak much, your actions from the morning and a conversation that should be held still looming over you.

At the same time you still felt the overwhelming urge to it again. To do more.

“You can go shower first if you want to.” Nate mumbled as he pulled out his phone, seeming like he suddenly had really important notifications. “Yeah, sure.” The tension surrounding the interaction wasn’t lost on you. But neither of you acted on it.

You grabbed your clothes for the rehearsal dinner out of the bedroom and locked yourself in the bathroom once again while he did god knows what.

The hot water of the shower did nothing to clear your head. You were spiraling. On the one side you wanted to act on the tension, on the other hand you didn’t want to go down that road again. There was a reason you and Nate broke up. There was no way it would work a second time…. Right?

-----

The rehearsal dinner went without any specific happenings. You and Nate arrived together, which raised the eyebrows of some people, but you shrugged it off.

When the group made their way over to yet another bar for one drink before everyone would go back to their rooms early in the light of the day tomorrow you walked close to him. His hand brushing yours every now and then, sending shivers down your spine as you continued to try to ignore the feelings that were coming back to you.

The wind picked up as you sat on the open balcony built directly over the ocean. You rubbed your shoulders trying to warm up a little in your thinly strapped dress. It had been an immediate yes, when you saw you had packed it and Nate´s reaction was worth freezing now.

“Here.” A blazer was draped over your shoulders. The navy color something you immediately recognized. Your “Thanks,” a mumble at best but you slipped into the fabric and let the warmth engulf you. It smelled like Nate´s signature aftershave. The mix of wood and cinnamon something that felt like home to you, even after being apart for a while.

Tracy raised her eyebrows and wiggled her fingers between you and Nate when she spotted you wearing it, but you just waved it off. “Nothing,” you mouthed.

The look on her face told you that she didn’t believe you at all, but she turned back to the conversation she had prior leaving you and the man next to you alone.

-----

The group exchanged goodbyes and see you tomorrows soon after. You and Nate walked back to the room together, the tension that had built between the two of you so thick it could’ve been cut with a knife.

You didn’t say anything, just followed him into the room quietly when he unlocked the door with the key, he fished out of the pocket of the blazer you were still wearing. Even engulfed by the warmth you shivered at the look Nate was giving you as he subtly touched your arm to steady himself while searching in the pocket. A look full of lust but mixed uncertainty, as if he was debating if he should act on it.

He brushed his hand over your arm he was still holding, unintentionally it seemed, innocent almost but his eyes didn’t lie. He wanted you, and he wanted you now but there still was this hint of almost insecurity in his eyes.

Neither of you spoke as he closed the door, placing the key and his phone on the shelf next to it. You shrugged off his blazer and let it fall to the floor with a soft thud. His eyes snapped back to yours, roaming over your body.

The moment you enter the bedroom, he had enough and decided to act on what had been lingering in the air the entire day. He pressed you up against the wall next to the door, the one where he stood just this morning.

His lips were on yours, just for a second, before he traced the column of your throat. You turn your face to the side and see the cheeky grin on his face.

“See, I don’t know if you´re still mad at me for how things ended between us.” He pulled your chin up, having you meet his gaze before pressing his lips to the corner of your mouth. “But if you are, forget it, I’ve been thinking about this for the entire night and I know you have too.”

And then his lips were on yours again. His tongue swept into your mouth and danced with yours. The woody scent that weavers around him fills your nose. His kiss was demanding, claiming and deliciously slow, as his fingers laced with yours at your side, pinning you deeper into the wall with his hips.

You could feel him hard already through his pants. He parts your legs with his knee and trails his finger down your cheek to your jaw, under the curve of your ear.

“I thought about this since this morning actually.” He pulled your dress down to expose more of your chest. A low groan escaping his lips before he carefully bites into your shoulder, releasing it as he moved on to your collarbone.

The dress hit the cold floor of the room as he pushed the straps down your shoulders, his fingers finding your pearled nipples effortlessly through the lace of your strapless bra.

“I thought about it all through dinner too. Do you know how hard it was for me to not drag you out of your chair and back to this room?” His voice was gravel in your ears as heat pools into your panties.

You whine against him, inch yourself closer to him. He pinches your nipple. Hard. Before reaching down, cupping your pussy, pressing the heel of his palm into your clit. All you could do was whimper.

You were in sensory overdrive because his other hand was still working slow on one of your nipples.

He looked up and let his eyes rake over every inch of your body, standing before him just in your bra, panties and heels you matched the dress with.

“This might be the hottest thing I´ve ever seen,” he growls as he stands, grabbing your arms, pulling you back onto the bed.

You moan. His lips meet your shoulder blade as you pant. Taking the few seconds, he took to undress himself. You need him to touch you. Somewhere. Anywhere.

His fingers trail under the back of your thong, sliding downward to your ass as he grips you tight with his other hand. A low grumble rumbles through him as you arch your back at the move.

“Fuck, yes.” You breathe out. “What do you want, sweetheart?” The man in front of you far from the man you were met with this morning. This version of Nate one you had only seen in the bedroom after particularly rough games, when he desperately needed to take out all the buildup tension.

Those nights were some of the bests of your life.

“Answer me,” he growled against your ear as he kept trailing your body with his hands but not acting on anything just yet.

Another moan left your mouth as he trailed over the one particular spot, he knew all too well.

“Fuck me, Nathan,” you breathed, seconds before pleasure was taking over your entire body.

--------

Waking up the third morning in paradise felt different than the other two. You woke up in Nates arms, just like you did the other days but this time there was this funny feeling in your stomach.

Warmth and butterflies mixed with that delicious burn from the actions of last night between your legs. The sun was already peeking through the curtains, but you knew that it was still very early.

The wedding would be until midday so there was no rush in getting up and getting ready, especially since neither you nor Nate were in the wedding party. So, you snuggled back into his embrace, his arms immediately tightening around you as he grumbled.

“Good morning,” he whispered and placed a soft kiss to your head. “Morning,” you mumbled back, pressing yourself even closer to him.

Neither of you said anything but soft touches and kisses that were exchanged spoke for you. He connected your lips softly on multiple occasions and followed it up by trying to remove even more space between your bodies.

“How are you feeling?” The question was heavier than expected. How were you feeling?

For one you were feeling good, happy to be in this place again, like you had returned to a place you hadn’t been at in a while but loved endlessly. At the same time, you were feeling conflicted. What would all of this mean for you and Nate?

How would this continue when you returned to Denver? When he got back to Halifax? Would this continue? Was this just a vacation fling, a way to close this chapter of your lives?

Looking up into Nate´s warm eyes, that softened at the attention you were giving him again, you let out a heavy breath.

“I don’t know, Nate,” you paused. “Conflicted, maybe? But also, happy.” A soft smile spread on his lips. “No regrets?” Your eyebrows shot up. “No, no regrets.” He leaned down again and captured your lips with his.

After you made out for another few minutes you looked at each other again. Questions lingered in the air. Unspoken confessions and feelings. The only thing you were sure off was that you were happy. Happier with him than you were without him.

You missed him. Every day since you broke up. You didn’t realize it before. Not when you saw him again the first day you came into the room. Not the first time you kissed post breakup and not last night.

Looking back at the weeks that had passed since that morning in Halifax you suddenly noticed subtle details that were related to missing him.

How he always opened doors for you. How he put your coffee in the fridge before he left for practice or morning skate so it would be cold when you woke up. How your car was never low on gas.

Things you didn’t really think about until now.

“What´s on your mind?” Another heavy hitting question.

“What does this mean for us, Nate?”

Silence.

“What do you want it to mean?” An unexpected question, that at the same time was giving you the feeling he had already made up his mind.

“I don’t know. I need to think about it.” Silence, which he met with silence. Only for a while before he spoke again.

“How about we just get through this day, celebrating our friends and we figure everything out tomorrow?” You nodded. That gave you time to think. To bring your thoughts and feelings in order and to figure out if you wanted to do this again.

“Yeah. Good idea.”

---------

The wedding passed in a blur. Tracy was the most beautiful bride you had ever seen and when Cale shed a tear seeing her walking down the aisle you couldn’t hold yours back either.

Nate, sitting beside you, which obviously raised eyebrows with his teammates and their partners, grabbed your hand rubbing soothing circles to the back of it as you watched your friends exchange their vows.

The reception dinner was delicious, followed by speeches that had you holding your belly laughing, which probably was a side effect of the multiple glasses of champagne you indulged in as the hours passed.

Nate rarely left your side. Once to chat with his teammates, more often to supply you with more drinks or a snack from the massive display of sweets, desserts and fruit the Makar´s put up.

It was almost like before. The routine something you grew familiar with and missed. His protective eyes something you craved. But you still hadn’t made up your mind.

There were pros and cons to getting back together with him. You were weighing them all day.

Sometimes the pros won, sometimes the cons did but you weren’t closer to a conclusion either way.

The dance floor opened shortly after the cake was cut. Everyone was jumping around, screaming, celebrating, having a good time. You were surrounded by your friends, having a blast. Experiencing joy you haven’t felt in a while.

When the newlyweds came together for their first dance and invited everyone to join them you stepped to the side as everyone coupled with their respective partners.

You watched everyone for a bit before a familiar hand was held in front of you. “Dance with me?” “With you? Always.”

With a smile he led you out to the others. As you wrapped your arms around his neck he placed his on your waist.

The both of you swayed in silence for a few seconds. Enjoying yet another intimate moment.

“Come to Halifax with me,” he whispered. “Let´s figure this out. I know we can.”

Goosebumps. Confirmation that he had really already had made up his mind in the morning.

The world around you slowed down when you looked him into the eyes. The other wedding guests that were still mingling around you blurring into the background, their voices quieting.

“What?” your breath hitched. Nate´s touch burning at your wrist sending splashes of memories through your mind. How he held you for the first time. How he had wrapped his arms around you after winning the Stanley Cup. How you held him after he lost in the playoffs earlier in the year.

“After this, come back with me, like you were supposed to. Let´s try again. I love you. I never stopped. Do you have any idea how much I wished to take my actions back? To follow you to the airport and apologize?”

“I waited for you. Before security.” A subtle change in his hold which felt like a bigger than it was. “I wished for nothing more than for you to come and try to save us.”

He stopped swaying and placed his hands on your cheeks, making you look him directly into the eyes. His stern determined look burning into your memory.

“We both needed this time to realize some things, we know this. It was the right thing to do at the time. But we realized this is not how it was supposed to end.”

“Nate…” the words came out quieter than you expected. You weren’t even sure he heard them.

“I already told you I still love you. Please, let´s go back to us,” he plead, grabbing your hands, squeezing them.

A smile spread across your face. All the worry, all the doubts that had crept into your head disappearing the more he said. You looked up at him with light in your eyes.

“We need to talk this out, Nate. Not here, but when were back in Nova Scotia. There is still a reason why we broke up.” But based on the look on his face he didn’t listen to a word you said after you said, “when were back in Nova Scotia”.

“Thank you. For giving me another chance. I promise you I won´t waste it,” he said before dipping you back and kissing your right there in the middle of the dance floor of your friends wedding reception, clapping and whooping from your friends in the background.

#nathan mackinnon #colorado avalanche #nathan mackinnon imagine #colorado avalanche imagine #nathan mackinnon x reader #nhl imagine

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noxiousgrace · 6 months ago

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Kim rok soo gives up everything he thinks he doesn't need if the situation calls for it

His whole explanation for his very clear self sacrificial tendencies is the fact that whatever he's sacrificing, he believes he can go without

I'm currently re-reading the god of despair arc and his conversation with jang man soo caught my attention

Krs slept in the corner of the shelter where rain kept leaking in, at first i thought it was because park jin tae absolutely hated him but then jang man soo says "you chose that spot."

And it just kinda clicked that he doesn't consider anything besides the basic things to stay alive as a necessity

He thinks any sort of comfort is a luxury

He wants it, but he doesn't exactly need it

And doesn't mind giving it up if someone else needs it more

I feel like he sleeps in the corner on purpose because jang man soo is already clearly suicidal and krs doesn't want him to actually keel over from getting sick because of the leak, he knows jang man soo wouldn't complain about his illness until it was too late. He's old and his body is weak, idk if he'd survive being sick during the literal apocalypse. krs doesn't joke around with anybodies life

I also think he easily chose the spot with the leak because (this is my headcanon at least) he doesn't really feel temperature. I feel like krs was affected more by the white stars curse than he admits, sure he had some sense of taste and feel but his senses were probably dulled to the point he could easily ignore the discomfort

So whatever doesn't kill him, he can deal with it

He grew up like that anyway

He's used to being deprived of comfort, it's natural for him to be uncomfortable even if he complains and says he doesn't like it

What other people consider suffering is just an inconvenience for him

He's never had anything to take for granted ever since he was a kid

Reality absolutely crushed his standards of living ever since his parents died and we see that through everything he does

He doesn't falter at being overworked and underfed, that has been his natural state for 15-16 years now

In fact, transmigrating as cale henituse is more of a vacation to him than anything

Everyone thinks he's suffering but he just considers it as "working hard", it's was his job to starve while keeping his people fed when he was the team leader, because there was never enough to go around at first.

Once Korea was restored to some extent and scarcity was less of an issue due to ability users who had crop related abilities or something of the sort, he let himself indulge in the luxury of eating more often. It wasn't a big change, but still.

My heart breaks every time i think about the fact when he had his first meal as cale henituse, it was the most he had eaten in one sitting in 15-16 years. He usually doesn't comment on things but he was so insistent on the fact that beacroxs' cooking was good despite being absolutely terrified of the guy says a lot.

#lcf #trash of the counts family #cale henituse #kim rok soo #tcf novel #trash of the count's family #lout of the count’s family #kim rok soo needs a hug #krs needs therapy #tcf #jang man soo also needs a hug #word vomit moment #KRS MAKES ME SICK #I LOVE THE SOOS #I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE #SOBBING

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slackerlifewhere · 1 year ago

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The subtlety of Cale Henituse

SPOILERS for those who haven't finished the first part of the novel. If you don't like spoilers, please don't continue. Thanks!

- This is kind of a review about the novel but it's basically my analysis of Cale/KRS.

___

For someone who has trust issues with people, I first had an initial distrust with Cale Henituse/Kim Rok Soo as a reader.

I think it's because of how he was first introduced.

As a first-time reader of the novel back then, Cale/KRS was introduced as a very indifferent person. He was calm at the face of a sudden transmigration and acted like nothing could surprise him (aside from Ron and Choi Han). And of course, like anyone who was fooled, I also thought that he was selfish. He's not the trash that he thinks he is but he's selfish and I didn't place my full trust in him because I still didn't know him yet. And I like it that way. The author kept me on my toes and didn't force fed me a truckload of information about Kim Rok Soo.

Like I said in my previous post, he didn't actually give us his whole introduction. He left a few crumbs here and there that told us he didn't have a great childhood but it wasn't enough for me to build an image of him in my head. There were still some blanks and question marks about Kim Rok Soo.

Sure, there were moments when he gave a bigger tip to someone without blinking an eye and acting all smug about it but I really just thought that he was happy because he's finally rich. Or when he was being so polite and gentlemanly in front of an old man that Venion was disgusted with and then later on went back to being indifferent and I thought it was just him being extra petty and angry (which he was) at Venion for being an asshole. He's very quick to change from smug to indifference and it made me switch back and forth on how I see him as a person.

Yeah, you need to read between the lines when reading this novel.

[side note: Actually, If I remember correctly, I thought that I wouldn't like his character because I find it weird when MCs in KR manhwa and novels easily shrug off the isekai bullshit they're in. The influence of KR manhwa on me affected my opinion about him and it shows.]

So when he first met the kittens and Choi Han, I was reading it with the feeling of "Run away, guys! Run while you still can!" lingering at the back of my mind. He was nice to them, as much as he could with random strangers he just met, but he's very distant with them.

Another thing about him that makes it harder to understand him is because he's always distant with people. He relies on them and helps them but he's always at arms-length when dealing with them. This, if you didn't think of or was reminded of his thoughts about his abuse and pity, simply makes him look indifferent.

Before I continue, I don't like tsundere characters. I absolutely find them cringe and sometimes, I just wanna bash my head when they blush at the bs they're spouting at someone they like.

Because that's the thing with Cale. He is a tsundere. He says one thing and does the opposite. And he's so in denial about it which makes it more hilarious and sad.

He's subtle about it at first. He didn't even give me the vibe that he's more complex than what he shows because he's so quick to disprove my sudden epiphany that there's something deeper than what he's showing. He's so good at hiding his emotions EVEN WHEN I'M READING HIS POV.

This bastard is so in denial about himself that he fooled me so bad! I think I only realized it when he saved Raon but even then, there were still some doubts about his character. I liked his words to Raon and thought about how kind he is for giving the dragon the freedom of choice but because he later thinks of making Raon do things for him, it shook my trust in him just a little bit. Just a little, I promise.

...Maybe I just have major trust issues.

Taylor Stan

The weirdest thing to me that actually snapped me from my doubts that he's actually a kind person is oddly enough, because of Taylor Stan.

Remember when Taylor and Cage suddenly arrived at the area they were camping in and he finally talked to Taylor face to face? Yeah, he was indifferent there but it's when his tsundere traits actually exploded at my face.

He, while trying to hide from everyone, told them to give Taylor and Cage the best care and protection as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

Mind you, they don't even actually know him aside from OG Cale's reputation as trash. And he also technically isn't supposed to know them because, in the duo's POV, this is their first time meeting him so he didn't have to help or care for them.

He basically acted as if what he was doing was bad in their eyes but in reality, it's not???

He's just helping them and he's in denial about it? He's genuinely being a kind person and he thinks he's trash?

He later gives them money (and acts cool about it) and helps with smuggling (lmao) them to the Roan Kingdom so they can arrive there safely and he thinks he's trash???

He gave this man hope to finally heal himself and fight against his brother and he thinks he's trash?????

Seriously?

Self-hatred

It's why whenever he calls himself trash, I shake my head because it's amusing but I also want to cry because, as I go further into the novel, he fully believes that he's actually trash.

I don't know if this is ever talked about but Cale is hiding a huge self-hatred about himself.

Cale pointed to himself with his index finger.

“I have lived my life as trash. That is my dream.”

- Chapter 33: You

At first, when he called himself trash, I thought it was because his soul is in OG Cale's body and thus, he inherited the title and uses it to cause chaos. It's a part of the reason why but, if I think about it, he doesn't have to call himself that??? He can still cause chaos without using that title.

It's why I think he fully believes it. That he's trash.

I didn't understand back then and thought it was just him loving the title and the chaos that comes along with it.

Him and his smirks or "selfish" ideals made it seem like he's fully embraced the title and liked it that way.

And the way the author hides a deeper meaning behind his words and actions is by making it feel humorous or comical. The author makes it feel extra.

We laugh and find it amusing because it's chaotic. The secrets behind those wild ideas and explosive destruction are brilliant and subtle.

It's why I fully believed back then, that it's a simple story about a man who just wants to cause mischief in a strange world.

And then...his past as Kim Rok Soo is finally revealed by the author.

And it suddenly turns all this humor about himself into a freaking tragedy.

Kim Rok Soo is a tragic character. He's a person who has lost far too much and can only react in indifference even when he's hurting. He's cold in another person's perspective because he doesn't cry when in front of those he lost.

He hates himself for something he couldn't control. He hates himself for being weak. He hates himself for a lot of things. And he hates the scars Kim Rok Soo has because they're the reminder of all his failures and all his sacrifices that only ended up with making him alone. Like he will always be alone. (Which makes his distant personality in the beginning make sense too wtf)

So he takes in their words of him being cruel enough not to cry in a funeral of his friends and fully believes it.

He believes, as Kim Rok Soo and Cale Henituse, that he's trash.

And it absolutely made me cry like a kid when he, as he woke up surrounded by those he befriended and could call family, finally cries with a smile.

This is the first time they and us readers see him cry and smile and it's just heartbreaking.

The whole lead up to this reveal was me seeing him as a tsundere and a freaking crazy bastard that utters "slacker life" like it's comic relief.

It's completely unexpected and I love it.

Because him crying and smiling for the first time is him finally shedding his shields and walls from these people who see him as a kind person.

Cale Henituse, for all his masks and secrets, is just a broken but endlessly kind person.

It's why those who meet him, trust him. His actions are a big reason why they trust him but his words, when it feels hopeless, are eye-opening and full of wisdom of a 36 year old man. He's straightforward in front of those he trusts and tells them something that flips over everything they think about the current situation. And he says it with the experience of Kim Rok Soo.

I believe the only times he lies to them is when he was given the thing that he was gonna use to stab himself and also when he hides his identity as Kim Rok Soo. There's actually a hint of his guilt sometimes...or maybe I'm just thinking too much about it.

Anyways, that's all my thoughts for now.

This subtle bastard made me cry, damn it.

___

That one scene of him crying and smiling is etched in my mind and was reminded of it when I recently saw a fanart. So I decided to write about my feelings about his character and personality.

It's not a mindblowing post or anything new and it goes from humor to angst pretty fast but I think it's just like him. If you analyze his words in one way, it's just hilarious but if you analyze it in another way, it's sad.

I like how the author wrote him. He's a crazy bastard and a tsundere (the only tsundere I'll ever like) and I'm so glad I found this novel.

#tcf #tcf cale #tcf novel #tcf manhwa #tcf spoilers #tcf cale henituse #lcf cale #cale henituse #trash of the count's family #lout of the count’s family #lcf manhwa #lcf #lcf novel #tcf taylor #lcf taylor #tcf taylor stan #tcf choi han #tcf raon #raon miru

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samberrybay · 1 year ago

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I saw someone talking about Cale not being innocent with relationships, which i agree with, so wanna also add my personal opinion on this rather interesting matter+a bit on his trauma!

Cale loved reading novels and comics, so he probably read some romance or smut among the way too. As we know, he is a quite curious person, thus i doubt he wouldn't be interested in it at least for a bit.

He also recognizes relationship stuff overall! Like for example in Korean arc with Kim Min Ah and Bae Puh Rum. They weren't a couple yet, however Cale noticed vibes around them so there is also a comment about them looking good together. Even if it was more of a "Ah, they were lovely-dovely since then", it is still a realization.

As a result, if we push back the idea of Cale being aroace, he isn't innocent! Cale knows enough to understand romance, sex, flirting and all that jazz on a basic level.

Here is the thing, right?

When literally anything relared to emotions or relationships, both platonic and romantic, includes HIM in the equations, Cale suddenly becomes a fool.

An obvious, absolutely traumatized and with little to no self-awareness fool.

Cale literally degrades himself and his feelings or emotions on a daily basis, guys, i don't think this depressed man is able to comprehend that people actually just enjoy his sole presence alone.

Again, the problem here not in Cale not realizing/recognizing that kind of stuff (what basically innocence implies), but in Cale not thinking that someone can like him or be into him.

People don't give enough credit to how severe his self-hatred, that was builded for tens of years and supported by hearing others hate him, is.

It absolutely distorted Cale's view of himself.

As Kim Rok Soo? Well, he was always average looking, the scars made him look even worse.

As Cale? Well, he might look better now, but his personality still trash, he is selfish and not emotional overall.

If nothing above works? Well, his self made inner image of a "Bad person" always does!

He wouldn't ever believe that someone can love him romanticly.

Because why? Why him?

He is absolutely disoriented when people show their care for him nowadays. In the novel it plays of as the silly moments of obvious Cale, but if you think about that?

It just Cale honestly not understanding why they care for HIM.

This is not about innocence. Not at all.

It is about a man who cannot love himself and as a result doubting everyone's love for him.

#i saw some twitter post abt Cale not being innocent and wanted to talk about my own vision #no hate to the op tho i respect their opinion as well #but like #Cale Henituse holds so much trauma #this is actually insane and so fucked up #i can deep dive into his trauma read a lot of different opinions and there is always gonna be something more to it #this man's sanity hold on pure spite atp #tcf #trash of the count's family #lcf #lout of the count’s family #cale henituse #tcf cale #lcf cale #kim rok soo #kim roksu #tcf novel #lcf novel

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kuroyuki-kokuyoku · 4 months ago

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Random TCF Related Thought - Fairy Tales

In canon proper, we know that fairy tales do exist in Nameless 1, or at least, fiction geared towards children.

Well, I was reading some TCF React fics and found a hilarious moment where Heni!KRS was explaining fairy tales to Cale's kids and was shooketh to find out that Cale had butchered some of Earth's classic fairy tales into loosely-based-on stories (to put it gently) cuz apparently the "princess-in-distress" trope would not be relatable if every princess IRL they know could easily save themselves in a simailar or same situation. Therefore, Badass Action Girl!Princesses FTW.

Where am I going with this?

So my shower thought is that Cale one day decided to invoke his inner Brothers Grimm and published his own book series based off of Earth's classic fairy tales.

But here's the twist: He uses the Walt Disney versions but made every Disney Princess BAMFs.

Sorry, Mr. Walt Disney. Your own versions of Earth's classic fairy tales were a product of your time, but your 50s sensibilities won't fly when all of the princesses Cale knows can easily break a full grown man man in tiny little pieces, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Besides, he wants little girls like On and Lily to have strong female role models to aspire to be even if it's in fiction.

Sleeping Beauty? Aurora is based on Roselyn. She finds out that she got cursed by Maleficent, who is a whole Dragon that her father had offended by failing to invite her to his unborn daughter's christening like he promised, so she threw away her status as crown princess to become a mage out of spite and break the curse on her own. In the end, she succeeds and managed to tracked down Maleficent to her lair. Maleficent is so impressed by her moxie that the Dragon took her on as an apprentice. By the time, Prince Phillip shows up hoping to slay the Dragon and take Aurora back to his kingdom so they can be married, the story is already over.

Beauty and the Beast? Belle is the village chief's daughter and the most beautiful girl in the tribe. Belle is a Tiger and Lion mixed-blood Beastman and also pining after the cute human bookworm named Adam in the next village over. Dorph the greater value Gaston can go fuck himself for all she cares. TLDR: Role Reversal AU and Belle is Dark Tiger!Alberu.

Cinderella? Cinderella is a secretly a Shaman. Everything is the same up until the whole dress ruining scene. After that, Cinderella invokes the spirit of Queen Jopis, stopped giving a shit, and turned the rest of the plot into a shitshow. Her evil stepfamily is given the OG!Brothers Grimm treatment.

Pocahontas? Everything is the same except the Powhatans are all Elves. Ratcliffe is the White Bitchless.

Hunchback of Notre Dame? The plot is the same, but Esmeralda is a Dark Elf, and Quasimodo is half-Dark Elf. Frollo is replaced by Adin just so he can fall off the roof a second time.

Aladdin? Jasmine is also a thief. She looted what should've been her dowry from the Sultan, her annoying suitors' wealth, Genie's lamp, Carpet from the Cave of Wonders, Aladdin's heart, and Jafar aka the White Hobo Looking's dignity and respect, not in that order, then whisked Aladdin off of his bare feet and away to her own personal kingdom. Basically, Cale reimagined her as Fem!Hong Gildong.

The Little Mermaid? Romeo and Juliet with a happy ending where Prince Eric is a Whale Prince and Ariel is still a Mermaid, and both their families got scammed into finally burying the hatchet by Ursula.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves? Snow White is a Dwarf too, and the plot is basically an otome where she has seven suitors from different tribes, and the Evil Queen (*couch*Elisneh*cough*) is, of course, the jealous villainess.

Brave: Everything's the same except Sayeru gets abused more than Mor'du in this book.

Frozen: Everything's the same except Prince Hans is swapped out for Sir Bernard cuz Hans the goodest butler doesn't deserve to be associated with scum.

Tangled: Everything's the same except it's Adin who takes a swan dive off of the tower.

Mulan: Everything's the same except the Huns are replaced by Arm.

#trash of the count's family #lout of the count’s family #lcf #tcf #random thoughts #shower thoughts #headcanons #cale being a dad #cale basically plagiarizing Disney movies by essentially writing fanfiction #Disney princess whom? only Henituse princesses #all princesses are queens #badass women #all the villains may or may not be based on members of Arm #still going strong on disrespecting He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Properly-Named in all my TCF related posts

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blueteller · 4 months ago

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The "Scent of Arm", according to Ron

There was that bit early on in the TCF series that I didn't get for a really long time.

Ron, on sight, recognized a certain scent "lingering" on Choi Han, which made him and his son Beacrox believe that he was a member of Arm. He recognized it from many years ago when the Molan residence was attacked by the members of the secret organization.

The thing is, the scent disappeared after Choi Han washed up at the Henituse mansion, thanks to Cale's hospitality, causing a major divergence. In TBOAH, Choi Han would not get the chance to "freshen up", and the Molans would follow him out of the city, abandoning their jobs as servants of the Henituse family solely because they suspected him of being from Arm. Later on, that suspicion would get cleared up and they would stay because they got actual trace of the organization.

However, in TCF, after Choi Han got cleaned up a bit, Ron instantly changed his mind and decided "no, it couldn't have been Arm after all, there is no way those guys could have come here all the way from the Eastern Continent".

So, that begs the question... what was the "scent of Arm", exactly?

My first thought, on my first time reading, was "of course, it was the scent of blood and murder, because Choi Han just came from a massacre". But that.... doesn't make much sense, does it? Ron is an assassin. He used to deal with murder and blood on a regular basis, it was literally his job. Why would such a generic scent would immediately make him think "it has to be Arm"? Even if we think of it as trauma because Arm destroyed his home, that still doesn't really add up. Especially when after Choi Han cleaned up, he instantly changed his mind. Just because the guy washed up that didn't make him any less dangerous or strong. So blood and murder as the scent of Arm, that's out.

My thoughts on the second re-read went into a slightly different direciton. Maybe it had something to do with the scent of the Forest of Darkness? Specifically, the dead mana from that forest? We know it's special, since dead Dragon mana is basically non-existent in the natural world, due to the fact that Dragons who died a natural death would turn into dust, not decay and create dead mana. The swamp with the Dominating Aura also acted as a container and let it thicken up over time in the poisoned water. That kind of rare, specific smell would make more sense as something that Ron could recognize on sight, right?

However, after thinking it over, I realized that also did not make that much sense either. Even if we accept the fact that ordinary mooks from Arm could have dead mana smell just because they traded some of it to the mermaids to help them fight against the Whales... all of that happened MUCH later than the fall of the Molan family. Why would Arm lackeys in the Eastern Continent smell like the forbidden region of the Western Continent? We can't even assume it was the extremely general dead mana smell that Ron confused as the scent of the organization, because Ron isn't an idiot; even if he doesn't know any dark creatures personally at this point, he KNOWS what dead mana is. And that's still too common thing to see Choi Han smell of it and instantly decide: yes, this guy must be related to Arm! Like, come on. That's such a farfetched conclusion. Ron wouldn't be that dumb.

My third take, was Black Despair, which is something that is EXTREMELY specific and directly related to Arm. Think about it: it does not occur naturally, Arm mass-produces it for demonic purposes, and the lackeys can all smell of it on both continents regardless of the timeline, since the White Star has been doing this stuff for a 1000 years. Also, Ron would not realize what it is, being a regular human and all, just know the smell of it and have a very averse reaction to it due to the traumatic memory it was tied to, as well as the nature of Black Despair itself. Now, I finally felt like I was getting somewhere!

There was still that lingering doubt in my mind, however. Would regular Arm assassins really smell of Black Despair? Like, all of them? Really? There's no way the Red Stars let their disposable foot soldiers anywhere near the stuff. Of course, there was the possibility that they were using it for some brainwashing black magic ritual, that let them "create" those type of suicidal pawns. But, still. I was a bit uncertain. Would Choi Han really smell of the same stuff simply because he killed a bunch of people who smelled of it??

That's when it hit me.

The smell wasn't Black Despair specifically... it was simply despair!!!

Think about it! All Arm forces SHOULD smell of despair. Either because they cause it, they feel it themselves, they spread it, and the black magic they use is fueled by it!! With despair being a literal force one can sense, of course it would have a powerful, lingering stench.

And most importantly? Choi Han's attribute is also despair!

It you think about it this way, it all becomes clear now! Choi Han was soaked both in despair from the Arm assassins he killed, the despair of the Harris Villagers that were murdered, AND his own lingering despair that radiated from him because of his trauma and the attribute he developed!!! So when he came to the Henituse mansion, of course he was a huge red flag for the Molans! They recognized the exact same despair and instantly decided to get rid of the threat!

HOWEVER. What happens the next day in TCF? Choi Han washes up. Choi Han's clothes are new, clean, his attribute is safely tucked away due to lack of danger, and most importantly? His despair starts to disappear because of CALE! Choi Han has hope, a new objective – paying Cale back – a goal in his mind, and he shows a softer, vulnerable side when he tells Cale "but you don't even know who I am". Choi Han's despair isn't all gone of course, not even close. But he isn't soaked in it anymore.

And Ron SEES all of this, sees this guy who was just REEKING of despair the day prior but has a whole new vibe today, and begins to doubt. Because of course he does!! If Choi Han was really a member of Arm, there's no way all that scent of despair could have disappeared after a single bath. So he comes to the very reasonable conclusion that he was wrong, and stops worrying about Arm's return.

Of course, later on he catches onto the scent again as he travels with Cale, so he follows the trail, separates from the group as early on as the Plaza Terror Incident, and after getting the very public confirmation that Arm is, indeed, on the Western Continent, he goes off to track Redika down all the way to Hais Island 5.

And that's why, my friends, I believe that the "scent of Arm" that Ron was talking about was Despair. Not Black Despair specifically, just the scent of Despair that Arm causes all around the world. A bit different from Choi Han's own despair, but similar enough to be confused with it.

#tcf #trash of the count's family #lcf #lout of count's family #tcf meta #tcf analysis #tcf theory #ron molan #choi han #black despair

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cruzerforce4256 · 1 year ago

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I'm feeling like writing lately, so I've thought of a scenario where the reader, who always jokes about their friends, will court Cale to the ends of the earth if ever they get isekaid into TCF (lol, this is me to my friends; they are really concerned at this point). Then some god heard this and was like, Alright, bet. They send the reader to the TCF world as a personal maid of Cale for fun and tell them that they need to make Cale fall in love with them before the story ends (just part 1), or else they will go back to their world with all of their memories about Cale gone.

So in order for Cale to feel a bit relaxed around them, they told him that they were from a different world and read 'The Birth of the Hero' instead of the TOTCF since we all know Cale will faint if that really happens. They also told him that they felt like he was the same as them because of the changed attitude he was showing recently, and with him going out to feed the dying tree basically confirms it.

Their conversation be like:

Cale: I'll just let you know that I don't plan on getting involved with the protagonists and the war.

Reader whose laughing their ass off inside: Great me too! I'll just stay as your personal maid since I don't want to get involved with all the drama. ♪⁠～⁠(⁠´⁠ε⁠｀⁠ ⁠)

So Cale became a bit more relaxed than before after knowing that they are on the same page then the reader started throwing their cringy pick up lines to him.

Reader: Young master, are you a bank loan?

Cale: *ignores them and continues relaxing on the couch while reading a book and petting the sleeping children*

Reader: Because you have my interest, and I'm willing to pay the high cost.🥰🥰

Cale looked at them with eyebrows furrowed: I'm literally the one paying you to work how are you going to give me a large sum of money

Reader: *Gasps exaggeratedly" does that mean you have an interest in me.

Cale: Go take your meds.

Later on, the reader confesses to cale that they love him, but although Cale is feeling something towards the reader at that time, he is not sure what it is. He isn't really sure if they just see them as a close family who they trust the most or something more than that, and if it is, he is scared of the possibility that something might happen to them, especially with the war going on. So he rejected the reader.

The reader accepted it and told him that he didn't need to reciprocate their feelings, but that doesn't mean that they will give up. They always give him flowers when he wakes up, always stand by his side, supporting him, and, of course, always throw pick-up lines at him. And slowly but surely, cale became clear with his feelings for them, but he still didn't want to confess because of the fear that something might happen.

As his feelings grew clearer and deeper, the reader's time became shorter and shorter. Though they truly love him and want to be with him, they don't want to force him to love them. When they only had a few months left, they started distancing themselves bit by bit from everyone, especially Cale.

But Cale is observant; he notices how the reader doesn't throw cringy pick-up lines as much as before, which he didn't know was a blessing or not since their pick-up lines were cringy most of the time. On the other hand, it makes his heart flutter. He also notices how they don't really play much with the kids anymore, no longer cheering the wolf kids on the sidelines while they train as much as before, no longer going out with Rosalyn, Mary, and Hannah as much as before, and no longer teasing Beacrox with Choi Han whenever you are together as much as before (I just want to add the last part, lol).

He is suspicious, and Bud, who just wanted to visit, sees him always looking at you and teases him, saying, "You know, if you don't confess now someone might take them.".

He just gives Bud an irritated look, but deep inside he is panicking. Is this why you don't interact with everyone as much as before? Who is it? Is he worthy of you? Do you know him well enough?

So he confronts the reader if they like someone else in which they just laugh at him, telling him that he is the only one they like. But when he asked about how the reader doesn't interact with them as much as before, they told him that it was nothing and they were always feeling tired lately.

So Cale forced them to have a paid leave. While they were on that he made a plan to confess to the reader after everything is clear. No more possible threats to their lives and just them slacking off with the whole calefam.

When the day finally arrives he can't sleep and just waits for the reader to come to his room to wake him up. As he waits, he reviewed the plan in his mind again and again to make sure that everything goes right and to lessen his nervousness. He is going to take them out in the afternoon in disguise of checking the improvements of the harris village and when the night comes, he will invite them to eat dinner and confess.

Time flies, and it is finally afternoon. He stares at the door, waiting for the reader to come in with a loud noise to wake him up. But hours came, and you were still not there. Feeling restless, he called for Ron. When the scary butler is finally by his side, he asks where the reader are, but Ron also doesn't know. His heart started to pound. He feels like something is wrong.

He got up off his bed and walked straight to the reader's room. As he opens the door he notices a paper sitting on the top of the bed. His heart pounded more heavily as he walks towards the bed and grabs the paper.

He notices that it is a letter from the reader dedicated to him. In this letter, they told him the whole truth about how the book they read is actually the trash of the count's family not the birth of the hero and how they were a huge fan of him. They also state how they love him so much and they always tell their friends about it which led to a god hearing it and sending them into this world.

After reading it, he immediately ordered everyone to look for the reader and for saint jack and cage to come. The letter didn't state where the reader is but knowing that a god put them in this world means that the god had a deal with them.

His mind goes through a lot of questions. Where are they? Which god did they make the deal with? What is the deal that they made with that god? Are they safe? What are the conditions of the deal? Everybody is restless looking for them everywhere

Saint jack and cage finally came with Hannah. Though confused, Cage told him what the God of Death said to her before she came to the villa, GoD said that some god wants to talk to him and to not worry because GoD will be there to facilitate the meeting.

Hearing this, cale immediately told them what's going on while the kids stayed closer to him in order to help calm him down.

Knowing that the god that wants to meet him is the same god that you made a deal with, he agreed to talk to them. When he told the others about this, he suddenly fainted.

Waking up, he saw the GoD looking at him apologetically for making him suddenly faint. Besides GoD is the god that you made a deal with.

Although he is irritated with the GoD for making him suddenly faint he is more worried about you. He immediately asked where you are and what the deal is about.

And though that god wanted to tease him a bit, he decided against it after seeing his glare. The god just smirked and told him all about the deal.

Hearing this made cale devastated. He is too late. If only he confessed sooner instead of making them wait..........If only he became more clear with his feelings sooner...... If only he accepted your feelings the moment they confessed to him.........

There's a lot of what if in his mind.

Seeing him devastated and a lot of regret the god also offers him the same deal he gave to the reader. This time he is the one who will go to the reader's world and is given with the same amount of time that they spend in his. His condition is that needs to make them fall for him even without all their memories about him. If he manages to do so then they get to go back to his world with the reader who have all their their memories back but if he doesn't then he goes back alone and the reader will forever forget everything about him. Though the god wanted to add more consequences if cale isn't successful, he decided not to since he doesn't want to anger the God of Death more for hurting GoD's beloved child.

Cale immediately accepted the deal

This time he is the one who will come to them. This time is the one who will make them fall for him

Note: i'm not really good at writing so sorry for the errors 😅😅 but i still want to share to you guys this scenario that i've just imagine and damn imagining it is 100000% easier than writing it😭😭😭

#tcf #tcf cale #cale henituse #cale henituse x reader #lotcf #trash of the coun's family x reader #trash of the count's family #obey me #tcf x reader #trash of the count's family x reader

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tryingahandinholdingapen · 22 days ago

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I keep forgetting to type this up so this may not be as well written as I'd like but I feel like I gotta get it down before I forget about it

anyway

TCF AU in which the Henituse are in fact just as mad about inheritance as most other nobles, they just happen to approach it completely differently and therefore nobody (...outside of Henituse of territory) is aware of this

Side effects of this include the Henituse family generally getting along better + being tighter knit than in canon, and KRS!Cale not having to worry as much about doing anything out of character for og!Cale because others can make the actions fit <-sorry this doesn't really make sense before I've explained the rest of the AU I may be doing this out of order

UH okay so

I'm using the Stans and the Crossmans as my reference for what other nobles may be like in regards to inheritance btw, since I don't recall much information about how any others in the Roan Kingdom deal with it (yes I know the Crossmans are royalty not mere nobility, I'm doing the best I can with the info I got)

Anyway. My point is that most nobles in Roan might view inheritance something along the lines of

- There is one (1) position that matters and that is Leader Of The Territory, whether that be duke/count/king/whatever, that's the one position that matters

- Every potential heir is gunning for this one position, and generally (may be exceptions in some households or in extenuating circumstances) does not support each other at all. Every man for himself

- Whoever currently holds that Leader position probably doesn't care too much about what their potential heirs do to try and secure that position for their own future..

- ...which means that sabotage, violence, messing with each others' alliances or reputations as well as forming their own, and using even less scrupulous means (cough assassins cough) to try and secure their own position or fuck each other over are ALL very much on the table (your milage may vary depending on how nice your particular family is)

- Outsiders are more or less aware of the ongoing fight for whatever position, as well as how it's going for each party, and can+will take sides themselves in supporting a potential heir, dependent on how important the family is

- If you are a potential heir and you do not end up getting that One Position then depending on how nice your particular family is you'll end up somewhere between "brutally murdered" (...Stans I'm looking at you), "have to get a job + support yourself, with varying extents of help from whoever leads the territory", "okay cool no responsibilities but still some inherited wealth you get to do Fuckall Forever"

This post is getting way too long so I'm putting a read more before I put the Henituse rules and then I'll reblog this post to write about how I think this could affect the canon Henituse (Deruth as well as both his late wife and current wife, OG!Cale, KRS!Cale, Basen, Lily)

And then there's the Henituse who...don't follow any of those rules about inheritance. They have their own, entirely separate rules, for all this. Everyone else assumes they don't have any inheritance bullshit going on - and to be fair, in some generations, they don't! In some generations, it's all resolved very quickly and neatly and it's no big deal. Other times it's a massive mess or takes absolute eons to sort out but it's an INTERNAL AFFAIR that others don't hear of and also they're not anywhere near as hostile to each other so like...nobody knows this. This is how the Henituse have been running affairs for basically forever and it works very well so they've kind of just kept doing it

Um. Here's some rules for how inheritance works for the Henituse

1) The biggest difference to note is that the Henituse do not only have one position (Count, at the beginning of TCF, I guess that switches to Duke when they become a duchy though). Instead they have broken up every possible role into about as smaller pieces as they can, and made each of those a separate position, so that there's like...more than twenty

Some examples of these positions/roles/jobs:

- Count/Duke, obviously

- Knight/in charge of all knights

- Guard/in charge of all guards

- Information gathering (may or may not be separated into "civilian friendly", "welcome to the underworld" and "okay now you're getting involved in things outside of the Henituse territory (military, marrying out into other households, etc) and reporting back" versions)

- Information control (instead of gathering information they're controlling what information others get e.g. starting or spreading rumours, planting evidence, etc.) This one may or may not be further separated into like "this is legal and there will be no/minor problems if you get caught" and a "okay good luck dealing with the underworld" versions of the role

- Free good stuff for the territory/kingdom e.g. anything involved with charity or things that benefit the public at the expense of the Henituse. This probably includes anything to do with orphanages and some things to do with taxes maybe

- Ambiguous role thats in direct opposition to any crime/underworld in their territory

- Effective second in command to above role

- And an admin type role for the two aforementioned, if necessary

- Ambiguous role that minimises harm to their civilians by PERSONALLY running+controlling crime/underworld in their territory

- Effective second in command for above role

- and admin for the aforementioned two, if necessary

- Admin role to assist Count/Duke

- let's have our own personal mage

- let's have our own personal researcher for [insert topic that directly benefits territory here]

- consort/wife/husband type role to whoever is the current Count/Duke. In charge of hosting parties/events and networking with others in the equivalent role

You get the gist there's a lot of potential roles. It's impossible for them all to be filled by direct family members of the Henituse at any given time, which is the POINT. Ideally they want each potential heir to occupy a separate role from each other, and for each to choose something that they personally are interested in + would excel at. The remaining roles that aren't fulfilled by them are either left unfulfilled, if deemed unnecessary or if they don't have the people to fill 'em, or they're rolled together with other role(s) and one person then takes on the combined position of those, or they're given to trusted members of extended family and/or trusted subordinates. But like the point is that everyone gets a defined role and hopefully everyone gets a defined role that they specifically chose that suits them

You could also choose to marry/get adopted out of the Henituse and say "actually, I am prioritising my new family and will therefore not be working as much/at all for the Henituse anymore". In which case you're still expected to be working towards the betterment of the Roan Kingdom

Or you could get disowned. That works too

2) Directly related to there being so many roles...terms and conditions apply (there's age cutoffs and exceptions in case of illness or disability) but for the most part? If you're a Henituse you have to be working for the betterment of the Henituse territory and/or the Roan Kingdom, or if you're too young for that yet, you have to be actively working towards that goal. There is no option to slack off or coast off inherited wealth. Reports are required, either from you or about you from those around you, at least three times a year, with either "here's what I'm/they're doing" or "here's why I'm/they're not doing anything <- this is for illness, disability, or extenuating circumstances"

(I'm so sorry KRS!Cale. No slackers' life for you)

There's fairly strict rules about this. If you miss a report (there's a fairly long time you can submit them in! like at least 2-4 months. just get them to whoever currently runs the territory) then you get a limited time extension. If you miss that then you're suspended/put on default duty (more on what that is in a minute). If you miss a second report in a row (not counting the extension on the first report) then you risk getting disinherited. If you do fuckall for over a year without a single word about why (in other words if you miss 3 reports in a row AND there's no word from anybody else on what you're doing in that time frame that would excuse you) then fuck you you're getting disowned

(Again I am so sorry KRS!Cale)

3) Because there are multiple people and multiple roles in play, things can potentially get a whole lot more complicated than "I want to be Count and I want everyone else to NOT be the Count". Because theoretically every single person involved may have

- opinions on what role(s) they want for themself

- opinions on what role(s) they DO NOT want for themself

- opinions on what role(s) they want [insert another person] to have

- opinions on what role(s) they DO NOT want [insert another person] to have <- this may be because they think the other person isn't suited for it or because they personally want that role and therefore they don't want anyone else getting it because of the preference for everyone to get a separate role to each other

And then multiply that by approximately a thousand for the like 20+ roles there probably are, and then make it several times more complicated for every additional potential heir that is involved because that drastically increases the potential different combinations

It's a lot!!!

Anyway that means that in any generations that do have disagreements about inheritance things get SO fucking messy words cannot describe,,,I'm laughing just thinking about it oh my god

4) Therefore, as equal parts "necessary damage control" and "the Henituse are genuinely a lot nicer about inheritance + each other than most noble families" there are...rules. About the infighting. Jfbsjfbjdnf

Okay rule number one on that front is that you must not harm or cause genuine distress to any other family member or potential heir (no fucking assassins in this household thank you very much). Rule number two is that, ideally we want a family that loves and respects each other, but bare minimum you must look out for each other and have SOME small element of trust+mutual respect there. Rule number three is no involving outsiders. This is an internal matter about inheritance it's not a fucking civil war in the making (....I will forever be mildly puzzled about the whole,,,different factions supporting different princes thing. that seems like it had potential to escalate so badly if, yk, they didn't have much bigger problems cropping up) and therefore you WILL NOT have outsiders sabotage other heirs' chances at any given position, and any allies of yours should either be your ally or the Henituse's ally but NOT EVER an enemy of the Henituse as the whole or of the other potential heirs'. Rule number four is that no matter what else you do you MUST NOT disadvantage the Henituse as a whole nor the Roan Kingdom as a whole, under any circumstances

The fact that they can't harm each other or each others' chances for a position means that their options are to just work really hard to prove that THEY personally are a better fit for it, try to go convince the other themself that [blank] would be a better idea, or resort to psychological warfare (without tripping over the line of "harm or genuine distress"), or start doing elaborate social engineering + crafting their own and each others' reputation. No physical harm here only (limited) psychological/emotional/social harm <3

But again like there are limits to that. Not too much harm. If you're not still 100% happy thinking of the others as your family (even if only distant family) who you'd be glad + not too uncomfortable to eat a meal with, you fucked up. If you ever make a family member feel unsafe around you you definitely fucked up

#my own posts #tcf #lcf #trash of the count's family #tcf au #i think thats everything i wanted to put in this post but im probably forgetting smth....#ill reblog with how this all plays out for our henituse in a mo

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weirdsht · 11 months ago

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HAHAHAHA imagine Cale with someone weaker than him + a troublemaker and oftentimes think crazier than him, but they're useful so that's what tied them together with the gang💀 bro might feel the stress his hyungs felt whenever he throws himself into danger lol and would start reflecting. Have u done this b4? :D

Is This My Karma? - Cale/Reader

notes: anon... did you take a look inside my mind? or maybe my docs? because the series i'm going to publish later has a similar prompt. i was gonna make it a surprise but since the cat is out of the bag imma announce it here lol. i'll be making a cale/reader slowburn series or at least try but while waiting for that you guys enjoy this small drabble from anon's ask first

tags: fluff, sickfic, reader is an idiot, cale is also an idiot, idiots in love basically, choi han is in charge of their single braincell, established relationship

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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“For the last time, you will not pass your cold to the White Star. How are you even going to achieve that? Also what merit would it bring if that punk catches your sickness?”

Cale glanced over at the sick person in his bed speaking nonsense. Well, it’s not completely nonsense as it was possible.

…If that said person wasn’t on the verge of dying because of a fever.

“We both cough know it’s cough possible. Plus you’re not looking at the bigger picture of cough White Star getting a fever.”

“No you’re just thinking irrationally-”

“Ah ah, I’m still cough speaking. Let the cough sick cough speak.”

“...I think the sick should shut the hell up and sleep.”

The person who is Cale’s significant other only glared at the commander before drinking the water Choi Han handed to them. When arguments like this first happened the swordmaster would interject to create peace.

But that was before he learned just how unhinge this person was.

_____, Cale’s headache and significant other, was a naturally weak person. Even weaker than Cale without ancient powers. However, despite their physical prowess being on the weaker side they have a very useful ancient power.

They have a wood attribute power that can conjure flowers, grass, and trees with either poison or healing powers. Its downside is that the abilities do not work on _____. However, they can make flowers that can spread whatever sickness they have at the moment.

“We all know you just need to fling me at cough a good distance near Mr. Steal-My-Cale’s-Looks and I can pass him my cold with the flowers. Easy peasy Ron’s lemon squeezy.”

Cale remembers _____’s explanation being that the flowers' pollen would contain the same bacteria and virus as their body. Or something along those lines.

“...”

“Hear me cough out, okay? Imagine this, White Star with his plate on the verge of breaking, coughing out so much blood, armless in every sense of the cough as well. Imagine a cough nasty fever and cough combo on top of that.”

“...”

_____ looked at the silent Cale expectantly.

“Sometimes I really wonder why I got together with a punk like you”

“But you love me!”

Sigh

Cale couldn’t refute so he just sighed.

At first, he let _____ join their group because they were useful. Not only is their ability useful but they are also intelligent. They have the see the faults in Cale’s plan and think of a counter-measure. They can also conjure up great plans.

Well, most of the time at least.

Other times look like this…

“No, we are not doing your absurd plan. Just go to sleep and get better, I’ll take care of things.”

Cale kissed the top of _____’s head.

“And don’t even try to think of sneaking out like you did last time. Alberu and Tasha almost had a heart attack.”

The previously smiling _____ because of Cale’s kiss was now pouting because of the reminder.

Meanwhile, Cale let them be as he went out of their bedroom.

He let out another sigh as he did. Behind him was Choi Han struggling to suppress a smile, wait no a laugh.

“What’s up with you?”

“No, it’s just that Cale-nim you and _____-nim are really similar.”

Choi Han added after seeing Cale glare at him.

“Sometimes that’s how your plans look to us.”

“Haaa”

Cale couldn’t help but notice how his acting like his sworn brother right now.

‘Is this how the crown prince feels about me?’

Not just the crown prince but everyone else as well.

‘Was this why team leader-nim and Choi Jung Soo insisted that I should farm with them even after retirement?’

There was no way, right?

‘There’s no way me and _____ are similar. I’m not self-sacrificial like that. I always make sure that I will live.’

Right?

Looks like he finally got all my warnings.

Cale ignored Super Rock’s voice.

But still, he can’t deny that he caused his group some headaches.

“...I will reflect on myself.”

Choi Han only nodded and smiled at the dazed young master.

Meanwhile, Cale’s mind is a bit chaotic right now.

‘Did my karma come in the form of my significant other?’

There’s no way that’s the case… right?

Right???

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storkmuffin · 3 months ago

Text

The Magic of San (4/n)

Marilyn Monroe Sidebar Part 2 /4

Basically I just want to talk about Marilyn Monroe and San at the same time for no very good reason.

"Dumb", Guilelessness, Softness, Sweetness. San reminds me of Marilyn Monroe, of all people, because they both manage to combine things that you wouldn't think would normally go very well together - being brilliant performers, very funny and witty, competent at surviving and thriving in a cut-throat artistic and commercial environment, and yet still very appearing very approachable, touchable, vulnerable, and real. You could argue that the word DUMB might apply - and often is applied - to both: Marilyn is the 'dumb' blonde, San is often the 'dumb' jock or the 'naive' country boy, especially in comparison to the fast talking, huckster style swagger of his actual best friend cum frequent dance and acting partner, Wooyoung.

And this is where San being a boy gives him a major advantage over Marilyn Monroe. What would immediately be called stupidity in a woman is just guilesness, and openness, in a man. Even cuteness, which is very amusing given how mascular he is.

San is given to malapropisms in Korean and also apparently in English, that KQ has just adapted as part of his persona. He calls beam projectors 'holograms.' He's learning English as he goes (and honestly, Korean and English are the hardest languages for natives speakers of either to learn, without there being a full on immersion experience, so anyone doing this, KUDOS, so he made a transliteration error (Ateez of San - which is just plugging in English words into a Korean word order: 에이티즈의 산입니다).

He's such a country boy that even after 2 years of training to be a kpop idol and then several years as a globe trotting international pop star who lives in Seoul, he doesn't know boundaries of what's actually considered 강남, as seen in Wanteez Episode 28. It's confusing, potentially, because there's an actual subway stop caled 강남역 (Gangnam Station) which isn't fully in 강남구 (Gangnam district) - it straddles 서초구 and 강남구 - and then we call a really specific part of the city that is the eastern portion of the area south of the Han River 강남 to denote the 'fancy' and 'moneyed' part. (Once you're in the 강남 discussion it further subdivides into specific districts, which has their own 'strengths' - luxury shopping is in 청담, the fanciest education happens in 도곡 etc).

It does say something about Idol life too, by the way, that this guy from Namhae has one of the most 강남 type jobs (Kpop Idol) but doesn't know exactly what area 강남 actually covers.

Moreover, the guilelessness, the slight 'not sharp'ness that both San and Marilyn Monroe give off is combind with a sense of vulnerability. I want to protect them, somehow, which is not actually factually necessary.

Marilyn was actually a very tough woman - she survived trauma after disappointment after betrayal to get to where she got in her career, any one of which would have made me collapse in on myself. San is someone who can sing and dance fluidly in front of 50,000 people at a time, which - even the thought of standing in front of a crowd like that makes me want to go to the bathroom really really badly.

Nevertheless, everyone who loves Marilyn Monroe wants to go back in time to save her, and protect her. She needed that protection too, and never got it.

The thing that I find very reassuring about San's life as portrayed in KQ media material is that he has been given the sort of childhood that Marilyn would've longed for. He was absolutely adored by his parents, from the sounds of it. He was one of several KQ boys who said to his mother, "I am so glad I had you as my parents. I would want to have you as my parents again." His mother said to San, "I had such a wonderful time raising you. It was an entirely joyful experience." Norma Jean Baker would've given anything to either have that childhood herself or be able to provide it to someone else. San's mother also seems to have been an ideal sort of not-stage-mom: Enthused about her child's potential, very supportive about his dreams, but not living vicariously through him or hijacking his life to fulfill some gap in hers.

The nurse tending to Marilyn during a very traumatic intake at a mental institution where she'd been forcibly committed - her ultimate nightmare - said of her that while the nurse had expected a spoiled, slick Hollywood character, what she encountered was an exceptionally sweet, gentle-mannered and frightened woman, whom the nurse at this mental institution in the 50s (!) wanted to protect. Workmen who were doing roadwork outside of Marilyn's house one time told a biographer this story about how she loved to come out and hang out with them. They treated her like a kid sister, and she'd come and talk and bring them drinks and just be a darling, being nice.

San's behavior during the 'reality' content that Ateez makes has this same, sweet, gentle mannered, and considerateness that I very much want to believe is real. Like this time on the promotional content for Bouncy, San had the penalty for going to help some older ladies prep peppers. The content was OVER. The staff told him it was OVER but he insists that Ateez, the pop boy band, have to finish this farm country chore of prepping the peppers for drying.

San was the only one of the Ateez boys who knew how to talk to old country women. He was so at ease with them and with himself, and made fun conversation. The other Ateez members did give me a bit of an unwelcome insight into what Korean stiffness looks like when we get like that - more afraid of being wrong than considering what the other person may experience as coldness or stiffness, and as a consequence coming off as both rude and awkward. San has said he watched his grandparents be happily married and good friends to each oher, and how that affected his view on family. He knew to ask these old ladies, What are you working on? He asked them if they'd eaten and so on. When Jongho began to sing in his "I'm a Virtuouso Actually" way, San was the one that provided call-and-response back up so he wouldn't be singing into an uncomfortable silence. San is a LOVELY person.

And yet, for all that? After all of that? None of the old biddies chose him as her favorite! Oof! Poor showing, old ladies! And yet even this didn't phase him. He just was sad about it aloud, and then got over it.

The final kicker though, the thing that sealed my love for him forever, was that after the old ladies left because they had done their bit, filming was supposed to wrap. But San sat himself back down and despite the staff telling him, You're finished for the day, he said, But weren't they actually working on the peppers? We're just going to leave it for them? They can't do all this by themselves! We have to help. And because he was so adamant, all these other Ateez boys, who I would hazard would never actually do this work of pepper prep at home or anywhere, all sat down next to him and finished the work for the old ladies. Because San said so.

#Giant ramble about marilyn and San #choi san #san of ateez #san ateez #ateez meta #kpop meta #san meta #san and marilyn #magic of san series

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ladycrimsonandblack · 7 months ago

Note

(sorry if I have sent this to you earlier, I didn't know if it went through cuz my laptop bugged out haha. Feel free to ignore this if so-)

Idk if your still open for TCF prompts, but if soooo: Everyone in the group knows that Cale is aromantic, or at least knows he doesn't want a romantic partner. However the public doesn't know this, and assumptions and rumors begins to fly as they see Young Master Cale interact with some members of his group. (Basically Cale is in a QPR, or has something similar to that, with those of your choosing! People makes assumptions but it's eventually revealed what is really going on)

AO3

There are a lot of rumors about Commander Cale Henituse, the esteemed hero Silver Shield and the savior of both continents. Ranging from ridiculous (saying that Cale Henituse is related to the White Star and that’s why he was able to defeat him will get you laughed out of a tavern, with a few good kicks added for emphasis), to actually plausible (the current raging theory that the Commander is on his path to godhood is usually met with agreeing nods), the rumors fly from kingdom to kingdom and from continent to continent at unprecedented speed. Thanks to his many great and varied public deeds, Cale Henituse’s life is an excellent fodder for imaginations of nobles and commoners alike.

However, the current rumor is a bit different.

It seems that Commander Cale Henituse actually has a harem.

It started innocuously, in a small tavern in Rain City, the patrons imbibing large quantities of alcohol and listening to even larger quantities of gossip.

“I heard he attended a ball with Princess Rosalyn, from the Breck Kingdom! Did you know that she’s building a new Magic Tower? Only someone as capable as that is worthy of the Commander!”

“Didn’t he attend a ball with Knight Choi Han a few weeks back?” A couple of nods and a rumble of murmurs answer the question. “Did they break up?”

“No, they weren’t even together. Going to the ball at the same time doesn’t mean they’re dating.”

“You’re the one that said that the Commander is dating Princess Rosalyn!”

“They just fit! I saw them once on the street in the shopping district and they were very close! And the picture they make— ah, they look so beautiful together!”

“Well, Knight Choi Han always follows the Commander, so I guess they might be dating too!”

“Uhhh, guys,” a timid voice interrupts them as one of the gate guards raises his hand like he’s in a classroom. “Doesn’t Knight Choi Han live together with the Commander? I heard they have a villa near Harris Village.”

A thoughtful silence follows this sentence. Then a series of considering nods and whispers, as the patrons catch each other’s eyes.

“It’s not so strange? A knight should live with his lord, right?”

“But, uh, isn’t Choi Han from Harris Village? Did the Commander build a villa there just to have Choi Han live closer to home?”

“That seems like something the Commander would do. He’s so kind!”

Everyone drinks to that, and then there’s shouting for a new round.

“But doesn’t that mean that Choi Han is more than just a knight?”

“He’s a hero too, he deserves that much,” someone refutes.

“A whole villa where they live together? I think that’s a bit too much for any hero. The Commander didn’t need to move into Choi Han’s villa.”

This time, the murmurs lean more toward Choi Han.

The man who first talked about Princess Rosalyn and the Commander frowns. “But Princess Rosalyn is also living together with them. Didn’t she move in during the war?”

The following moment of silence is full of consideration.

“Does that mean he’s dating both of them?”

The room explodes. The evening ends with a bar fight so nasty that two people end up in the hospital and the rumors about what started it only grow with retelling. As does Commander Cale’s harem.

Eventually, the rumors reach Huiss City and the ears of royal spies therein. When Tasha hears them, she bursts out laughing, doesn’t stop for good ten minutes, and then immediately goes to inform her nephew.

“So there are rumors that my dongsaeng is dating Choi Han.” At Tasha’s nod, Alberu frowns in confusion. “There have always been rumors like that. Why is this important?”

“There are also rumors saying Young Master Cale is dating Princess Rosalyn...”

Alberu sighs. “Well, those will have more immediate political consequences, but it’s nothing we haven’t heard before.”

“... At the same time as he’s dating Choi Han,” Tasha finishes, her pearly white teeth stark against her face as she grins.

“...What?” Alberu chokes out.

The thought of Cale dating two people at once is so strange that Alberu needs to take a moment to recover. As if Cale would want to be in a romantic relationship with even one person!

Tasha’s grin becomes outright mean. “There are even some rumors that the two of you are having an affair.”

“He’s my younger brother!” Alberu bursts out, more indignant than he remembers himself ever being in his life.

“And then there is Mary.”

“Surely people don’t think there is something going on between Cale and Mary?”

“Oh, they do, and there’s a lot of them.”

Alberu feels a headache oncoming. He rubs his temples and reaches into a tin can on his desk for some cookies to comfort him. “He treats her like she’s his kid.” Never mind that Mary is physically older than Cale. Cale has mentally slotted her into the same category as Raon, On, and Hong very early on, and now Mary gets an extravagant monthly allowance on Cale’s dime.

It’s telling that nobody has actually commented on this, or thought it strange. Their whole family accepted it as just another one of Cale’s eccentricities.

“And of course,” Tasha says, apparently not finished. “There is also Eruhaben.”

“He treats Cale as his kid!”

“Well, it’s not like people on the street know that,” Tasha points out, very reasonably. “But they do think that Young Master Cale is dating all of you. At the same time.”

“So they think that Cale… has a harem?” Alberu tries to wrap his head around this. There is not a person less likely to have a harem than Cale Henituse.

“Yes,” Tasha says, and smiles like this is the funniest thing she’s heard the whole year.

“Why?” Alberu wonders, for once not being able to guess what people are thinking. Cale is just so… Cale. Alberu can’t even imagine him wanting to date someone.

“Nephew,” Tasha gives him an arch look, and Alberu feels like he’s thirteen again, and is caught sneaking out for more practice with his sword. “You forget that not many people know Young Master Cale as well as you do. And when looking from outside, our family’s situation is a little strange.”

Alberu tries to think about this objectively.

“Our whole family lives together, even though most others have their own homes.”

“That is one part of it,” Tasha agrees. “It is especially strange for Princess Rosalyn, who is a royal from another kingdom, and Eruhaben-nim, who is known to be a Dragon.”

Alberu nods. “And whenever Cale goes somewhere, at least one member of our family accompanies him.”

“And the Young Master always buys everyone extravagant gifts.”

With each sentence, Alberu frowns even more.

“This is nuts,” he says.

Because, looking from outside perspective, it does seem like Cale has a harem.

…

He decides not to talk to Cale. Instead, he gathers Choi Han, Rosalyn, Eruhaben and Mary for a private talk, with the children averaging nine years old dragging Cale off to shop in the city (On takes one look at Alberu’s face before suggesting the trip; she is growing up to be terrifyingly perceptive).

When Alberu tells them the latest rumor, Eruhaben is the first to react. He sighs. “Unlucky bastard. And now he’s dragging me down with him.”

Choi Han is so red that his ears appear to be steaming. “How can they— why would anyone even think that?!”

“Because Cale provides for all of us,” Rosalyn says, laughing in delight. “And most people can’t imagine us being family. Not like this.”

“But this is so strange! Cale’s not… he is not—”

Interested. Cale is simply not interested.

It hadn’t taken them long to figure it out. Cale’s lack of interest in anything approaching romance or romantic relationships is so obvious to those close to him, that even the few of them that might have quietly considered it as an option chose to discard it immediately. Cale loves them, but it will never be romantic, and doesn’t have to be. They’re a family. That’s all there is to it, in the end.

Alberu smiles pleasantly, none of his previous confusion visible. “Of course, not many people know my dongsaeng well, so they would come to their own conclusions. However, I called you here today to discuss what to do next.”

“We have to stop them from saying it!” Choi Han burst out. “Cale-nim would be upset.”

“We don’t need to let Cale know,” Eruhaben points out reasonably. “He doesn’t need to worry about this too, and it’s not really a big problem.”

Alberu nods. “Eruhaben-nim is right. There is really no way to stop the rumors, but they’re not doing any real harm.”

“Why can’t we just say that none of us are involved with Young Master?” Mary asks. “Won’t people stop talking after that?”

“That won’t work,” Rosalyn shakes her head. “Denying something like this never works. It just makes it look like you have something to hide.”

“Exactly, Princess-nim is right,” Alberu agrees. “Our best official course of action would be to ignore the rumors completely. I wanted you to know about them so that you wouldn’t be surprised if you heard someone talk about it in a public setting.” Choi Han frowns at that answer, but Alberu only aims a bright smile in his direction. “Of course, if anyone approaches you privately to ask about any kind of rumors about my precious dongsaeng, feel free to respond as you wish.”

Choi Han’s answering smile appears innocent. Everyone in the room knows better than to trust it.

…

In the end, the gossip is stopped by the most unlikely person of them all.

During the couple of weeks the rumors have been rampaging around without any checks, no one has actually been brave enough to ask for clarification from any of the people involved. Alberu, Cale and Rosalyn’s high positions stop everyone from commenting on it in their hearing, even obliquely, and Eruhaben… Well. Eruhaben is a Dragon. No one dares.

There are a couple of people who try to broach the subject with Choi Han, thinking that the famously noble knight would not take offense. Those people end up in infirmary after Choi Han, somehow, convinces them to spar against him.

That leaves only Mary.

The thing about Mary is that she has a very clear, very even voice. So when she says, “I am not dating Young Master Cale-nim,” in a very crowded ballroom filled with Roan nobility, her voice carries despite the fact that she is not any louder than usual.

The nearby conversations immediately taper off as everyone strains their ears to listen.

“Oh?” asks the madam that had had enough courage to approach Mary in her little corner. “Does someone else have the luck to be the recipient the Commander’s affection?”

“Of course not,” Mary answers, apparently not noticing that she has the attention of half the crowd. “Young Master-nim is very busy. He does not have any time nor inclination for romantic attachments.”

The crowd murmurs in agreement. The madam lifts a hand to her mouth, looking stricken. “Of course, I completely forgot.” Eyes misting over, she says, “It’s admirable that the Commander is willing to deny himself so much just to keep our kingdom safe.”

Mary nods. “Cale-nim is very dedicated to his goal.”

Everyone feels very moved, but also very curious about the Commander’s goal. They haven’t heard anything about that, beyond Cale Henituse’s well-known wish to keep everyone in the kingdom safe and happy.

“His goal?” the madam asks, curiosity rising.

“Yes,” Mary confirms. “It will be very difficult and very hard to accomplish, but Cale-nim will surely succeed.”

“Of course he will!” the madam exclaims. “Who would ever doubt the Commander?”

Nevertheless, people are very eager to talk about his goal.

Very difficult and hard to accomplish? Perhaps it has something to do with his latest battles? The Commander had informed the public that he has been battling the organization behind the White Star’s power in other worlds. That is surely a feat that would bring him divine attention, and he has been seen visiting the Temple of the God of Death.

Perhaps… perhaps those rumors about Cale Henituse ascending to the path of legend and godhood are not so far off. Everyone has heard about them, and some even believed them, but this is the first time someone from the Commander’s inner circle confirmed that there is a bigger personal goal for him in all this.

The next day, there is some new gossip going around the taverns of Huiss City. This time, there are no bar fights, or even small brawls.

Everyone agrees that Cale Henituse is deserving of godhood anyway. Why would they fight about it?

#tcf #trash of the count's family #my writing #so i know you wanted the misunderstanding to be resolved #but since this is tcf and no misunderstanding ever gets resolved there i had to take drastic actions #to resolve this particular misunderstanding #i had to create a new and bigger misunderstanding #i'm so sorry and i hope you like it anyway #asks #prompts #thank you so much for sending this i had so much fun writing it #i can't remember the last time i wrote 2k words so fast

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