#i know that scout (and i think sniper?) have a canon name but.

[fictionallyinparadise]

Sniper leaving kisses on my shoulders is so important to me rn.

[coffee-writesthings]

I fucking love the tf2 comics because you get shenanigans such as:

Amelia Earhart died in a hot dog costume

The Mayor of tuefort doesn't actually know what a mayor can and can't do

The mayor of tuefort forced a man to pretend to be an italian stereotype for literally years

Saxton Hale blows up the moon

Spy might have helped a child murder the santa guy from that one smissmass comic, or it was spy disguised, it's not totally clear to be perfectly honest

merasmus takes 'kill me come back stronger' pills, which soldier also takes because he thinks its heart medication

merasmus is gender fluid, depending on how you read it

merasmus in indebted to like all the mafias

australians canonically all grow australia-shaped chest hair, and are the way they are because of a golden material called australium

spy has miniature cornish hens in his teeth, as well as the rest of the makings of one of those tiny, several-course, meals

soldier just loves fighting things naked, while covered in honey. canonically-speaking, he does this all the damn time

zhanna is racist against french people

demoman is married to his liver

demoman's eye socket is haunted

soldier has little raccoon children, lieutenant bites i think was one of their names

the pregnancy machine thing

also, the baboon uterus thing

heavy's sisters are into spy and sniper, which i can't say i disagree with. good lord.

BUT THERE'S ALSO THINGS LIKE THIS:

Scout and Sniper go out to get tacos after a bad interaction with an enemy spy

saxton is so deeply divorced with maggie

miss pauling is a lesbian, if a leak of the final issue's script on 4chan is to be believed

RED demo and BLU soldier become friends outside of work but the administrator finds out so they have to kill each other and ;-;

Heavy has a family and he risks his life to feed them and he loves them so much just GAH

these people have been fighting for generations over something that's literally worthless and i think if you think more about it there's an actually really applicable theme about that to real life

the mayor of tuefort forced this just random guy to pretend to be an italian stereotype for so long that he forgot how he used to speak. he forgot who he used to be almost entirely. do you understand. in another world there is a psychological horror about this guy's life exclusively

maggie works for her ex-husband's nemesis and it's honestly not explained why but she's also clearly ashamed or sad about it

spy being scout's dad and it's a whole thing and THOSE FOUR EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATING PANELS

sniper's bio parents are cowards and fools and don't much like him and there's a whole realization that he wasn't actually australian and it puts together a lot of puzzle pieces for him,

and then later he meets his parents-- the ones he grew up with-- in heaven after dying and being brought back to life and he gets told that hes a professional and its this payoff from the meet the sniper video

"you're getting very good at saying horrible things to dying men, miss pauling"

spy is nearly murdered by classic!sniper and he looks genuinely scared

heavy and medic are in love. do you understand.

[iaminsideyourwalls]

Sorry for the ask so soon after my first one, but really, I would love to hear about any head canons you'd like to share! :O Do you have a favorite merc?

Don’t apologize for asks, I love asks! I even put it in my bio.

You couldn’t ask a parent to pick a favorite child could you??? ;_; (although I do think about sniper every day.) I’ll give you a headcanon for all of them then.

Scout

he retained some French from when he was little. He’s not good at it in general but is a lot better at understanding it than speaking it. He can eavesdrop on Spy but can’t conjugate être. I also like versions of Scout that speak Spanish when people hc his mom as Latina.

Sniper

one of my all time favorite headcanons is Māori Sniper. Also, if you’ve seen this blog you’ll know i believe he’s an autistic king.

Engineer

I know a lot of people tend to portray him as a tender, kind, empathetic guy but I genuinely don’t think he’s ever felt empathy or genuine compassion in his life. Sure he knows how to act sweet and polite and soft and nonthreatening all the time but no matter how long you’ve known him, if you get in his way he’s already designing a new machine in his head to blow you away into the last century.

Demoman

Objectum Demoman is one of my all-time favorites. For real. I will genuinely ship him with eyelander, idgaf.

Soldier

I really love trans soldier headcanons. His transmasc swag is off the charts. It’s hard to come up with hcs for Soldier because he’s so fucking wild you could put him in any situation and it could be true. Lived in a diving bell for two years? Sure. Favorite food is un-husked kernels of wheat? Absolutely. Replaced his dick with his big toe so he could use it to walk? I could go on.

Heavy

during and after he obtained his phd in Russian literature he published a number of fiction books under a pen name. They’re all tasteful romances with subplots of political intrigue. They gained high critical praise and are still moderately popular in bookstores in Russia and some neighboring countries. all the royalties from sales go to his family. He’s also an autistic king.

Pyro

I don’t have many headcanons for pyro because I like keeping the whole mystery. I don’t wonder what’s under the mask or come up with possible names because I think the whole of the character is that mystery. But I will say that as great as unicorns and rainbows and cupcakes are, there’s really nothing Pyro loves more than hanging out with Engie in his workshop and pretending to help.

Medic

as far as my own headcanons, I have a lot. Here’s some. He does not have a driver’s license—he taught himself to drive by stealing a car. He’s insecure about his voice but he talks too much to really care. He’s always wanted a motorcycle. He puts drugs in his morning coffee. He doesn’t like classical music, he listens to the top 40s on the radio and sings along. The peppier the better.

One of my favorite Medic headcanons I ever heard was that he only has medical training as a veterinarian and I think that’s hilarious because it could absolutely be real.

Spy

He’s smart but he’s not as highly educated as he wants people to think. He never went to a university and maybe never even finished school. Just like Scout, he’s so damn good at what he does that he can afford to be more concerned with appearance and showing off than anything else. They’re both committed to making people see what they want them to see and nothing deeper.

[hyperfixatedonstuff]

Headcanons for Mercs names

these are my random merc name headcanons some have reasons and some don’t. also pls say yours if you have any!!

we know Scout’s first name is Jeremy because of Jerma so why not go all the way and have his last name be Elbertson? it’s white and boston enough to work

Soldier’s canon name is Jane Doe. which is the name used to refer to unidentified female corpses. he probably ended up in a morgue and heard them calling him that and was like “this is my name!” (also trans soldier)

Engineer’s name is Dell Cohnager. no speculation here but i would like to say that i love the name Dell its so perfect for him.

Demo’s name is Tavish Finnegan DeGroot which is very long and he definitely goes by “Tav” most of the time.

Heavy’s first name is Mikhail, shortened to Misha. his last name and patronymic(if he has one??? idk i learned abt this in school for Crime and Punishment) are unspecified. I think Mikhail Ivanovich Duskin could be a full name?? idk russian naming conventions confuse me. either way i don’t think he’d tell anyone or use his full legal name a lot.

Sniper is Mick Mundy(i think??) bc he’s called “Mr. Mundy” and his birth name was Mun-dee but his parents call him Mick

Medic’s last name is Ludwig. the most common first name i see is Fritz which is cool but makes me think of foxy from fnaf. the other thing is that Ludwig can be a first name however the Devil does say “Mr. Ludwig” implying it’s a surname but Medic being on a first name basis with the Devil wouldn’t surprise me. other first names include: Victor(frankenstein reference) and Julius

i have literally no clue for Spy but i think it would be hilarious if he had some stupid lame and boring name. like charles martin idk

pyro exclusively goes by names of jobs they’ve had. they’ll respond to CEO or fry cook as well as pyro

miss pauling’s first name starts with f. i’ve made a post abt this somewhere but i like Francine “Frankie” Pauling

[katy-133]

Spy Backstory Theory (Team Fortress 2)

(Image source: Valvearchive dot com/archive)

This is something I've been thinking about for a while so I wanted to write about it.

To start, I need to set up some points (with supporting evidence) as a foundation to build upon before getting to the theory, so that we're all on the same page.

Point 1: Spy genuinely loves Scout's Mom

In the TF2 comics ("Unhappy Returns"), Spy changes his mind (about leaving the situation) upon hearing Scout say that his mom will be upset:

There's a whole panel dedicated to a close up of Spy taking a deep breath like, "Urgh, I'm gonna have to do it now, aren't I?"

Spy visits Scout's Mom in the Second Annual Saxxy Awards Valve animation:

One of Spy's revolvers has her depicted as a pin-up model etched into the side of the barrel, which you can see clearer in weapon's the texture file:

I also want to take a moment to note that this weapon is named "the Ambassador" in the game. An ambassador is a diplomat sent by a country as its official representative to a foreign country. So this is associating Spy with the idea of, "a person sent from another country" in relation to Scout's Mom. Stick a pin in that for now.

(Image source: Sniper Vs Spy Update, Day 6)

In Meet the Spy, the enemy Spy reveals a series of photos showing Spy and Scout's Mom together:

Conclusion: Spy has a reputation of being a "lady killer" ("and mankiller," according to his bio on the official TF2 website) and liking his romances "in groups of six" (in-game line). But this love for Scout's Mom is not fake, nor short-lived, and is an emotional bond that is mutual, not a one-time fling.

"For he is the Spy - globetrotting rogue, lady killer (metaphorically) and mankiller (for real)." - Spy's Bio, Team Fortress 2 Website

Point 2: Spy wanted to be a good father to Scout

I think Spy would have known about Scout's Mom's previous 7 sons (Scout canonically has 7 older brothers according to his bio on TF2's website, and we can infer that they're Scout's half-brothers and are not biologically-related to Spy), as he would have had the means obtaining this information (or being given it) before he even met her. So we can assume that he was knowingly romancing a woman who had 7 sons already. The amount of children she had did not scare nor deter Spy away.

"The youngest of eight boys from the south side of Boston, the Scout learned early how to problem solve with his fists. With seven older brothers on his side [...]" - Scout's Bio, Team Fortress 2 Website

The plot of Valve's short film, Expiration Date is Spy helping Scout train for asking Miss Puling out on a date because it's Scout's dying wish. All the mercs believe that they each have 3 days left to live, and this is what Spy dedicates his last hours to.

Spy is seen comforting a child in the Smissmass comic (A Smissmas Story):

He instructed the child to stab the child kidnapper with an icicle (against Miss Pauling's wishes, who is on the phone), which is messed up, but ultimately saves the kid.

Out of all the mercs, Spy is the one who takes the time to listen to the kid's feelings and trying to comfort him.

Point 3: Spy knows how to be responsible

Spy is characterised as being the merc who does the big speeches that boost the morale of his teammates. Examples include his speech in Expiration Date and his speech in Spy's Rally (a cut alternate Meet the Spy monologue).

This characterises Spy as a leader who can look out for others on him team. Not the same as acting as someone's father, but we can gather that Spy can handle responsibility and isn't afraid of it.

Deduction: Spy wanted to be Scout's father and the husband of Scout's Mom. What stopped him?

In the TF2 comics ("The Naked and the Dead"), Spy tells Scout that he ran away, which implies the reason was from fear.

Spy: "I was young then, and I ran from the explosion."

What was the source of this fear? If not fear of being a husband, if not fear of being a father, if not fear of facing responsibility...

It was fear of his family being attacked.

My theory: Spy worked as an operative agent and Scout's Mom was his cover story

Before joining RED/BLU, Spy worked as an operative in an MI6 style organisation in intelligence and espionage, similar to James Bond (whom Spy often is linked to in the game's Spy Achievements and some of Spy's in-game lines, which reference Bond).

"They should call you whiners Dr. NOOOOO!" -Spy attacking when Ubercharged by Medic

As a cover story for one of his future missions, Spy was assigned Scout's Mom as a woman he should marry to help himself blend in, similar to a sleeper agent (a spy who maintains a normal civilian life until they are "activated" by their agency to come out of hiding as an asset). She's a single mom (assumedly--Scout doesn't mention her previous marriages) from Boston, America and Spy would be seen as someone from another country (due to his lack of a Boston accent and his place of birth being France, according to his website bio), so enemies trying to tail Spy may be thrown off by a cover story ("Well, he's probably staying longer in America because he's in love with this woman. He's not a spy").

"Country of Origin: France" - Spy's Bio, Team Fortress 2 Website

Spy met Scout's Mom and ended up actually falling in love with her, which was not according to plan, and would have been considered a major flaw on Spy's part by his organisation.

This is comparable to the phenomenon where actors who play love interests towards each other in a fictional work end up falling in love with each other in real life during production (this has been documented in film productions like Willow and Crocodile Dundee). Your behaviour towards a person can affect your emotions towards them, even if it begins as an act. You "become the mask" in a sense.

This is apparently an issue with actual sleeper agents, as they're meant to not communicate to their superiors (as they've "gone to sleep") for long amounts of time (such as decades) and therefor have difficulty remaining motivated and loyal to their superiors and not forming attachments.

So the plan was for Spy to be in a fake relationship with this woman, and remain emotionally separated from her, but it turns out that Spy was so bad at doing this that he still loves her to this day and continues visiting her long after leaving his career.

Before Scout was born, Spy ended up in a romantic relationship with Scout's Mom, with the intention of marrying her and becoming a father.

Through his work in the past, Spy had gained many powerful enemies. Possibly his own organisation was also not happy with him wanting to settle down as a family man and wanted him liquidated (killed off) rather than leave him alone with the amount of information in his head that he would have gathered from his work (as he could either use that info against them, or their enemies could try to get that info from Spy).

Side note, because I wanna talk about 60s shows I like: This is comparable to the plot premise of the iconic opening for 1967's The Prisoner (note: TF2 is set in 1968), which is considered to be a spiritual sequel to 1960's Danger Man (as both star Patrick McGoohan and share plot elements). The opening of The Prisoner shows a secret service agent resigning from his job (against his superior's wishes), rushing to his home to pack his things, but then being kidnapped by someone either working for or against his organisation, as we see his records getting X-ed out but an automated filing system marked "Resigned." This is basically what TF2 Spy was trying to avoid, but worrying about his future wife and kids.

Danger Man is about a secret service agent, and is likely another source of inspiration for TF2's Spy (though I could not find evidence of TF2 directly referencing Danger Man/The Prisoner). Danger Man's association with Spy appears to be a fandom thing than official. You know that one song a bunch of TF2 fan edits reference or use for Spy-focused frag edits? "Secret Agent Man"? That song is used for the opening of Danger Man.

(Hey look, Jerma985 made one!)

(Okay, end of side note)

Spy's enemies and his own organisation found out about the relationship. Look at these photos. They have these odd black closeup edges (similar to a "thumb on the lens" effect), like it was taken by a hidden camera. They're taken from a distance, giving them a feeling that the cameraperson was hidden and not seen by the subjects (Spy and Scout's Mom).

After Scout's Mother became pregnant with Scout, Spy realised that he had a target on his back and that his family would always be in danger so long as he was with them. Maybe this realisation happened because a Spy came home one evening and found an enemy agent breaking into the house and he had to fight them off. To protect his family, Spy left and later joined RED/BLU as a spy.

I'm sure both Scout and his mother would have said that it was the wrong decision, and that Spy himself came to regret his choice when he got older, but that was the decision a younger Spy had made in the moment.

But even after all that, Spy still visits Scout's Mom in secret, and is willing to spend his last 3 days alive trying to fulfill Scout's dying wish.

But Spy will never take off his mask ever again, because that may once again reveal himself as "the agent that got away" to his superiors and enemies.

TL;DR: Spy left out of love to protect his family from his past enemies.

[teemnutress]

ok so headcanons because i love the little family dynamic the team has going on and want to see more of it:

pyro:

• has a little pouch of stickers that they just pop open and use to decorate things

• sometimes will just stare and tilt their head when someone is talking to them because they're interested but is usually seen as threatening :(

• occasionally very aware of what they are doing but simply doesn't care

demo:

• moments of clarity while blackout drunk that's just,,, philosophical and aimed to hit deep at people that then ends with him promptly passing out

• keeps a secret compartment in the kitchen full of alcohol. the entire team knows its there but doesn't dare to tell him

• invites nessie for team dinners sometimes and has to be the one keeping her from killing soldier once he mentions scotland

medic:

• talks to the corpses he keeps in his miniature morgue. uses them as therapy dolls. sometimes puppets them to have them respond

• views archimedes as worth more than scout

• has swindled a demon out of the demon's soul once

heavy:

• not only treats his guns like real women, but takes them on mock dates too for fun. usually conscripts scout to help because scout finds it funny

• the favorite to heal on the field by medic due to the fact his pain tolerance allows medic to see just how much punishment his daddy coworker can take. he knows this and does not care so long as he can stay near medic

• has used scout as a projectile before. just picked him up and thrown him by his ankles. didn't work but it was fun

scout:

• plays pranks on the rest of the team and is rewarded with being regularly beat within an inch of his life

• besties with pyro because they're both outcasts on the team

• sees heavy as a father figure but won't tell a soul about it

spy:

• genuinely cares for scout (canon) but will go as far as to slip little gifts and acts of kindness for him that scout will never know was him

• sometimes hangs out in engineer's room as he considers him the only other true intellectual

• genuinely horrified by medic

soldier:

• so utterly insane he doesn't even know his teammates are his teammates sometimes; regularly beats the shit out of scout

• has given all of his rocket launchers names. all of them are named "cupcake"

• downright facial contortionist; makes faces you would never think possible

sniper:

• just chronically depressed. medic is his anti-d hookup and engineer is his therapist.

• gets spy to throw his disguise masks like clay pigeons for target practice, specifically for rocket jumping soldiers

• sometimes just crashes on the common room's couch instead of his camper van because he feels like it

engineer:

• has a framed photo of the whole team in his workshop. he genuinely loves them

• has worked with medic to try and make a franken-android using sentry pieces and corpse parts. is currently buried 20 feet under engie's workshop

• is the only nice one to pyro other than scout; makes them custom stickers

[rosainta]

Day 2 of Rosain Quivan’s Daily Logs

Started December 7, 2023 at 10:00PM, Home

Finished December 8, 2023 at 10:42PM, Home

Log #2

Author's Notes:

I started this yesterday from a sudden shower inspiration thought. Who would’ve known that the most bizarre of ideas could be generated while cleansing yourself?

Anyway, this idea is just pure dialogue between Sniper and Scout from Team Fortress 2. No romance implied, but you could interpret it that way. I'll be completely honest with you- I'm very adamant when it comes to accurately representing their relationship, whether it be in a canon-compliant friendship / coworker way or in a romantic setting (specifically the latter, since I have to admit that I am an intense Speeding Bullet fan, though of course I love any other old depiction of the two, as well as other ships as long as they are respectfully expressed). Though this adamant demeanor towards accuracy helps me find out what I like to see in works including these two goofballs, I'm not entirely sure if I can transform those standards into my own writing... since I've never tried it yet! So, take this as another practice round, this time more centred on character depiction and dialogue (that, hopefully, doesn't sound like a cringey 15-year-old's WattPad fanfiction...)

Warning: a few colourful words here and there.

If you want a part 2 for this, let me know down below! I'll be happy to write anything, though. And also, if you have any feedback, please let me know! I strongly appreciate it :-)

Title: Intention. Fandom: Team Fortress 2 Third-person objective New Mexico, Badlands, Badwater Basin, (fixed the order; that was bugging me last time), RED Sniper's Campervan Around 3:15AM, sometime during the Gravel War

“Snipes... Snipes, you awake?”

A long pause. Then, the sound of dog chains jingling. A bed creaks violently.

“Sniper, get up, you gotta help me here!”

A low grunt, a shift in the covers.

“Ngh… can’t this wait? It's..."

A shift in the sheets, someone leaning to squint towards a clock.

"Crikey, half past three?! What in God's name do you think you're doing?"

"Trying to wake your sleepy ass up, stupid!"

A loud groan. Possibly the sound someone rubbing their temples together.

"Did you know that the average human being needs shut-eye to survive? Ain't that wild? Or perhaps you didn't come along to learnin' that at kindie yet?"

"Oh, just... just shut up and help me out, will ya? Look, I'm sorry it's so late, but this is really, really urgent, okay? And this concerns more than just the both of us, but you were the closest person I could find, so I need you here. I promise, I'll be outta your hair after all this."

A sigh.

"... if this is an emergency with the sheila again, go ask Spy. I'm sure he'll be 'appy to see your squirmy little arse again."

"Hah! Yeah, as if. He's probably out screwin' the Eiffel tower or somethin'; wouldn't wanna see, much less hear that, though I can only imagine the snorting sound he'll make when he- argh, anyway, that's besides the point! Point is, it's not about Miss P, it's about..."

A pause.

"...it's about what? Who?"

"Well, it's about Engie..."

Another pause.

"...and? Come on, Scout, get to the point, or I'm going back to sleep."

"Okay, okay! Well, I don't exactly know how to put this, but I think- or at least I have a feelin'- that he might, maybe, possibly, be workin' ... for BLU."

The bed creaks again.

"What, you think we got an enemy Spy in the base?"

"No, it's not that. He passed the security check earlier, because I was on rounds for that today. I think that our Engie, like the real one, well, I think he's double-crossin' us or somethin'."

"And why do ya' think?"

"Well, this afternoon, near the intel room, I was sorting my comics out when I saw him doin' this thing, where he would be all suspicious lookin' and shifty-eyed, then he'd pull out one of those 'computah' things, or whatever they're called, and start typin' really fast, like he was in a rush or something. Then, whenever someone passed him, he'd shut the screen down really quickly like this-"

A clap.

"- and would look at the person with a goofy little grin, as if he wasn't just sendin' some, I don't know, ransom photos of someone's wife a few seconds ago. He even had the audacity to wave to Pyro when it walked by, and I think even it found it a bit weird 'cuz it made this strange garbly noise I've never heard it make before. But anyway, he'd open it again and do the same thing over and over again until it was lights out. It was so suspicious. I didn't say anything then, 'cuz, you know, I didn't want him to know I was staring at him like a creep or somethin-"

"Which you are."

"Whatever, now, get this-"

A dramatic pause. Two hands are slapped on someone's shoulders.

"I go back to my room, and you know how his is right next to mine?Well, I wait outside the door, and I'm about to say 'good night' or something like that and maybe sneak in a question about his secret porn addiction, but... he doesn't go to his room. No, he turns the corner, goes out... and starts headin' in the direction of BLU's base."

Silence for a moment.

"You sure he wasn't just, you know, heading out for a hookup or somethin'? I hear a lot of people south-east go troppo for one-night-stands."

A slight shaking movement from the hands to someone's shoulders, dog chains jingling.

"Argh, Snipes, freakin' please?! I'm bein' serious here. He doesn't usually do that, I'd know because every night he plays those cheesy old cowboy country songs on his radio and goes to sleep, which keeps me up all night because I can hear it through the freakin' wall. And don't you think it's a bit strange how he was reacting when he was on the 'puter? No one would do that, even if it's for a hot night out."

A hand grips one of the latter's on someone's shoulder, as if to push it off.

"Well, maybe for bogans like you, who don't have the slightest bit of public decency when it comes to flirtin' with any skirt you see. And what right do you have stickin' your nose in his business? He could have as well been headin' back to Teufort to buy some quick supplies for his sentries, or hell, maybe even just going to see The Admin."

"Well, actually..."

The hands slide off the shoulders.

"I may have trailed him a bit. You know, just outta curiosity."

"You- you followed him? In the middle of the night?"

"Look, man, I had to do what I had to do to make sure that I wasn't going to have my head end up in someone's refrigerator the next day."

"But you do realize that you were being just as suspicious, more so really, as he was by trailing him?"

"Well, yeah, but- okay, look, that don't matter now, alright? What matters now, is that I found out where he was going. And it was the BLU base, I saw him sneaking in without gettin' shot by a sentry or a look-out, but I couldn't stay for long since they woulda caught me instead. But luckily, his little visit wasn't without a little proof. Check what I found-"

Knuckles slide against firm wood as someone picks up a small metallic object from a nearby dresser, holding it in front of them.

"This."

Someone snatches the object, clicks on a lamp, and observes it intently. A sleepy yawn.

"What is it?"

"I think it's called a U.S. Bee, or something? I don't remember what he called it, but he told me it's like a little key you put inside the compooter and it stores, like, info and crap. I don't know, something nerdy that only he and Medic would understand."

"Hm.... An' how do you know it's his?"

An impatient whine.

"I don't know why you're being so skeptic and shit about this, Snipes, I literally told you the story and brought a goddamn piece of useful evidence! Do you still not trust me? What more do you want from me here? A picture of his ass in blue?! Wait a sec- hold on- are you freakin' workin' with him?!"

A quiet sigh, someone shaking their head.

"Alright, mate, I'm sorry, okay? Veg out, now. No, I'm not workin' with 'im, and I do trust you, I really do. It's just that... I find it hard to believe that Engineer of all people, a man with whom we've been working with for 4 years now, would all of a sudden head up and go against his entire team like that, especially in such a dangerous manner when he knows that someone else could be, you know, spyin' on him."

"I wasn't spyin' on him, I was just-"

"You said yourself it don't matter, so it don't. What I'm saying here is that we don't know his intentions here. For all we know, he could be using his little device of his to gather intel on the other team, or he could be, I don't know, doing a secret contract or something. I just feel that it's unfair that we rush to conclusions like that, especially for one of our coworkers who may really be doing us a service, mate."

Quiet for a bit.

"You alright there?"

"No, I- I get it... I just, I just really feel like I found out something critical, you know? Like, it's not everyday you see one of the team be so secretive like that, well, except I guess Spy."

"Well, we all have our own secrets, don't we?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

Quiet. A few gentle pats on the back.

"But... wouldn't it be a good idea to try and find out what that thing, like, has? I mean, you know, just to prove that Engie really didn't have any bad intentions?"

"Yes, but that would be quite a breach, no? He'll most likely be looking for it in the mornin' and if he finds out you were givin' his equipment an unauthorised burl, well, say g'day to your dispenser privileges for the month."

"Well, what if I did it now, while he's still away?"

A pause.

"That's risky."

"I'll be fine."

"Alright, you do you. But how would you know where to start? And if you did get it to work, understanding what you're seeing is another question entirely."

"Hmm..."

Someone rubs their finger over their chin, pondering.

"Oh, I know! Medic, he'll know. Those two dweebs spend so much time doin' those experiments together, I don't doubt he'll know what the heck to do with this. Plus, man probably never sleeps, so it's basically 24/7 with him."

"Okay. Well, chookas with that, mate. I'm heading back to nap. G'night now."

The sheets shift for a moment, before an arm reaches out to stop them.

"Ah, um- thanks, pally. For listenin' and all. I know you don't really believe me or anythin' but, uh, I'm glad you didn't doze off halfway through."

"No worries."

"Yeah."

A pause.

"So, ehm, I'm gonna do that now."

"Oh, yeah, right, I'll head out now. Night, Snipes."

"G'night."

The light clicks out, and a figure scurries away into the night. Then, a sudden shift.

"Wait a minute, how did you get inside?"

Credits: Team Fortress 2 by Valve Image source: Team Fortress 2 Written by Rosain Quivan Cross posted on Amino ( Rosain Quivan )

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

asking you this because you have good interpretations of the mercs:

what animals would they all be ?

im personally fond of bear heavy, rabbit scout, dog soldier, and cat spy even if they're all very obvious, but id love to know if u have more interesting answers

Hmmm much to think about... full disclosure I'm taking a bunch of inspiration from my sweet sweet boyfriend @skeletonsonparade 's old-ish furry designs

Scout: My brother has a very strong "Scout is a tarantula" headcanon and I need to hand that one to him Scout really is a tarantula

Soldier: I understand where dog Soldier comes from but tbh I think Soldier would also be a great horse

Pyro: Pyro

Demo: Boyfriend enlightened me to Demo tf2 badger design and waow I like that so much... idk I don't think someone Needs to be an animal that is from the country they are from that's lame BUT I think badger furry Demo is really cute bc u can make the face stripes like his facial hair and that's fun

Heavy: Yeah he's a bear. Tf2 canon wins this one

Engie: Idk I really love some kind of dog for him. He feels like a doggish kinda person. I can't articulate this further just understand my vision

Medic: Again my sweet sweet boyfriend has a deer/stag Medic design and I love that. I think wolf Medic is also pretty common but idk giving Medic "prey animal rage" ties in really well with how PLAYING Medic feels like. He's definitely something with antlers

Sniper: Cuppy dog city ahhh I wanna go

Spy: Cat Spy is sooo fun but I've also seen a ton of fox Spies before and I like that too. Cats cover the prissiness and foxes cover the wiliness very nicely. Every time fic makes his first name "Renard" I know what you are

[thetriggeredhappy]

sorry for cloggin up your ask box, but i don’t have an ao3 account, so i hope this will do

i love the way you write the kids, especially nikki. she’s so mature, funny and polite, makes my mouth hurt from smiling hearing her and scout talk

another thing, thank you for having the kids act normal around scout and sniper being romantic‼️ they’re not homophobic, just the usual little kid “eww kissingg”

the descriptions of panic attacks are incredibly realistic

also as someone with adhd, you wrote scout SO well. i have the inattentive type and i relate so hard, despite not being hyperactive. forgetting things that i just put in my pocket, wondering if i have my phone while literally being on it, losing your train of thought, drawing constantly, and rejection sensitive dysphoria

i hope it’s okay i’m writing you fan mail in your ask box, i don’t really read fanfic but you’ve got me hooked here. i don’t even know how i started liking sniperscout, but before i read yours i read… ah what’s the name… i forget (searched ao3, it was called “somethin’ stupid, like “i love you”” by preciousposey. man that was a good fic too)

anyway uh

thank you for being a great author!! hope you sleep well and have zero writer’s block forever <3 (and i hope your living situation gets better, i’ve made it up to ch 18 so (why am i getting deja vu writing this im sorry if i did this last time))

thank you! yeah i love nikki. i used to work with kids a lot (a LOT) and they’re just hilarious dude. sometimes these kids will say some shit that’s so excellent and so fun and so entertaining and will know what’s up and she’s kind of a representation of that. kids are great.

and yeah i guess i just don’t personally see like. the value in putting overt homophobia into the tf2 universe. there’s not really the overt expectation of ‘realism’ with the tf2 canon, and while i consider grounding these characters and putting them in more normal circumstances to expand on their more human characteristics to be kind of A Thing I Often Do, i don’t think i need the blunt instrument that is Gritty Realism Through Onscreen Bigotry to make any of the points i want to make in this series. the flavor is kept intentionally lighter throughout that series so that when it gets heavy, it hits a little harder. in other things ive written, and in things i might write in the future, that might pivot, but i don’t ever see bigotry being something necessary to the plot or development of characters in the RB universe.

writing scout as adhd feels kind of inevitable at a certain point if you’re diving into his characteristics and the way he tends to behave. we don’t have a ton to work with but, c’mon. intentionally or unintentionally, he always ends up adhd. the relatable king

and no lie i’ve been listening to ‘still alive’ a LOT lately idk what happened. i listened to that song back in like 2015 a lot then didn’t again until like. three weeks ago. portal was too good for any of us

also just goddamn the fuckin horror movie violins when someone is pre-chapter 20 of taking shots. me when i’m 2/3rds of the way through “sniper dies in this”

[anxious-ace]

New Au (TF2: Respawn):

Disclaimer:

In this au, the respawn machines are up and running

Because the respawn machines are up and running, there's no need for clones, and thus the 2 teams are separate people

As the 2 teams are separate from each other in the AU, they have different names and stories (the mercs I'll be talking about are the red team unless specified) 

Not sure if them being separate from each other is true in canon but this AU rocks with it (it's less confusing that way, more work sure but less confusing)

Also, the time period has been shifted from the '60s-70s to 2024 so keep that in mind 

Let's get into the ideas:

Sniper is Māori (indigenous Polynesian people of mainland New Zealand), no one knows though (white passing with a tan from Australian outdoors)

He also has 4 cousins (2 sets of twins, one set is older than him and the other is younger)

Sniper is an only child so the cousin thing is to give him someone to spend time with (as he’d probably be kinda lonely)

Actually, he'd keep to himself either way (as he does)

He’s been dealing with some, sleep problems, thanks to the respawn going wacky (there’s “another red spy” walking around, and let's just say, it's not good)

(I mean it doesn't seem to be human)

No one knows why it seems to be only him that's dealing with this but hey, it hasn't killed him yet (seems friendly enough)

(he is kinda paranoid so that's probably part of it)

Pyro is albino (this is me trying to keep him as ambiguous as I can)

(Also it's my au so I can do what I want)

Medic’s name is Marius Ludwig (Mr. not Dr. as he lost his license)

Blue Medic is Fritz (gotta love Emesis blue) Schädler

Like Pyro, Spy’s name and place of origin are unknown (I say as if I didn't spend most of my free time in between classes trying to come up with names and places of origin)

Let's see: yeah I'm not posting that yet because I want to keep their main characteristic which is mystery (but I have stuff written down in a separate list for later)

Scout’s name is Jeremy (canon) Prince (my au, this is because I think it’d boost his ego, which could be why he thinks of himself as one now that I think about it)

The reason the respawn machines are up is because both Engineers got alerts that Gray Mann was planning on sending his robots (the teams got time to prepare so might as well build the things that’ll keep the war going by endlessly respawning)

Cheaper than constantly cloning them but still, Jesus Christ

Also, the respawn machine might be why Snipers a bit, off, so Medic and Engineer have to figure that out and deal with the robots

I think the idea I have for the creation of the Spy copy is that something was leaking from Spy’s machine while he was still in it, the leaking created an eldritch copy of him, the copy escaped before he could tell anyone, and now its somewhere in the base

(I really should do a comparison of the 2)

Also, the respawn machine showed Sniper some shit and now he can't sleep (he and Spy were respawning at the same time)

When he first saw the Spy copy, he thought he was just seeing things so he didn't say anything

(paranoia + sleep deprivation isn't a good combo)

The team has what they call "base pets" or “the (animal) crew” that just kinda hang out on base while the mercs are working

(Archimedes and Lieutenant Bites are prime examples)

But going off of this, Sniper has a hunting/service dog named Lana

(he got her back when he hunted with the Mundy's, before he went off to work for Mann Co.)

The team knows about her and she's even a part of the crew (he took her with him when he went to work)

The breed is either a labrador retriever, a bull arab, or a mix of both breeds

(I think the mix would be better at solving the indecisiveness so I'm going with it)

Engie and Sniper were weird about each other when they first got to Mann Co. (they knew each other from before and couldn't believe that the other person joined this kind of thing, they didn't get that vibe about each other when they met)

Sniper's parents are still alive because I've already given him enough problems as it is (phobias, general paranoia/anxiety, insomnia, all mercs have PTSD of some kind so that counts, and more) and he needs some happiness

(and also I love them too much to just kill them off like I can’t bring myself to do it)

I feel like whenever they don't have any direct orders from Mann Co., the mercs will just give themselves/each other things to do

like Medic or Engineer will need supplies but they’re also busy, so they’ll ask whoever’s available to get it for them

(it's usually Sniper as he has a van and I don't really think he has much to do except for being on the lookout so it makes sense)

They will sometimes ask Spy to go with him just so he isn't in his smoking room all-day

The only ships I've really thought about are Engie/Sniper and Medic/Heavy (mostly the former)

Engie and Sniper met in college (Engie was studying abroad for whatever reason), Sniper was eating alone (as he does) and Engie was like “fuck it, let's talk to the loner”, they got talking and exchanged names, numbers, and other info (and so a beautiful relationship was formed because someone gave a lonely kid a goddamn chance for once)

I want to say they’ve been dating for like 8 years (so they've been together for about 4 years when Mann Co. sought them out)

(this is probably why they were weird about each other when they first joined)

Spy, Sniper, Engineer, Medic, and Heavy were all sought out by Mann Co. for their skills and had no choice but to join because of it

On the other hand, Soldier, Pyro, and Scout all joined on their own accord (Demo did too kinda but he was mostly pushed by his mom)

Sniper is allergic to rabbits and certain kinds of alcohol

He's also selectively mute and easily overstimulated/overwhelmed so he has moments where he just spends the day with Pyro or Heavy (as they’re pretty quiet too)

The reason Sniper constantly wears sunglasses is because his eyes are photosensitive (bright lights give him really bad headaches)

This is because of migraines and an eye surgery he had when he was younger

I'll probably be making “identity sheets” in lieu of their files at some point but I need to gather the rest of the canon lore I want to use and find a good template to put the information in

Hold on, was anyone going to tell me that Sniper was canonically suffering from multiple organ failure, or was I just supposed to find that out through a Reddit post about Red Jarate?

Link 1: There's blood in my Jarate: r/tf2

Link 2: TF2 comic page about Jarate

Since Respawn takes place in 2024, I had to figure out when Soldier was barred from joining the army

I took his age (45) and subtracted 18 (when he would've been able to join the army) and got 27

Then I subtracted 27 from 2024 and got 1997 as the year he was barred

But I realized that I had to figure out what war he might have been barred from and to do that I looked up a list of wars from 1990 to 2002, I also had to make sure that the US was actively fighting or at least sending troops

The answer I got was the Afghan civil war (1996-2001) which was between the Islamic State of Afghanistan (supported by Iran and India) and the Taliban, the Islamic emirate of Afghanistan, and al-Qaeda (supported by Pakistan)

America, the UK, Canada, and Australia joined after 9/11 on the side of the Islamic State of Afghanistan so it works

So yeah Soldier was barred from joining the army sometime around 2001

There's an original character called “the Contractor/Informant” that I'll probably be designing soon (I'm also working on her character sheet which will be posted after this goes up)

She works with Miss Pauling to make sure that the information on the contract is right, that the mercs actually get them and get them done

She also has burns on her left arm and near her right eye (references to Kate’s prosthesis) either from a work incident or one involving a Pyro (so still a work incident)

Either way, this injury is part of the reason why she's not a merc (she might’ve been at some point but I have to figure it out)

Sniper was in nature documentaries and he was also doing some kind of commentary-type deal before working for Mann Co.

Scout worked at both KFC and McDonald's before joining Mann Co., he also did some professional baseball games but he got pulled from them at some point

Sniper's parents are housing a kid named Javier who is about 6 years old

Now I still need to figure out the reason why they're housing him or what's going to happen next (like are they going to keep the kid or will Sniper and Engie adopt him?)

(the second is likely but they need to figure out how to balance it with their jobs, and if their bosses would let them in the first place)

Sniper can determine whos who just by their footsteps (something he learned in his childhood) and can mimic them convincingly

Pyro might be the only one who actually knows whos a Spy or not (good for spy checking)

I feel like since Sniper, who was a literal infant at the time, was in a fucking spaceship that landed in someone’s yard, he’d be a literal spaceship baby (termed coined by Scout during a discussion about this) and most likely would've made at least national news

(because come on, if I found a fucking baby in a goddamn spaceship and it landed in my yard, I wouldn't shut up about it)

Now I wonder if his birth parents would've reported him missing or not, probably not given how self centered they are but i have some hope that they would

Engineer made a program with the sole purpose of keeping pyro distracted while hes working

[rubin-therubix-loverofblorbos]

Hi, thanks for answering my ask, If it's not too hard can you tell me your race head canons for all the Mercs?

You're the best.

Engie: BLACK. He is not white. no. no don't look at the game. or the comics. or anything else related to engineer tf2. you cannot see that man at night. he's too much of a southern-black-mother-haver to be white. who cares about his dad, his MOM was BLACK. Polite, mildly violent when he needs to be, intelligent? His momma not white you can't change me.

Soldier: Native/Black. Mother Inuit and father African, OG last name Domoraud, got shortened to Doe through Immigration; OG first name was Amaqjuaq, but his parents had to choose a name on the spot. He has many identity issues, don't ask. Never takes off his helmet 'cause he doesn't like his monolids.Very touchy about the subject of race because where he lived was probably nearly as bad as Texas in terms of racism, feels he needs to devote every waking second to America or else he doesn't belong there. Yeah. He needs a bit of help. Has a weird accent but he hides it pretty well. Wow I rambled there...

Spy: Black/asian. Wow I really just dipped Tf2 into charcoal, didn't I? Didn't realize how many of them I Poc-ified until I put it down on paper. His mom was an asian woman, very stern, but she had a soft spot for her gender-weird kid. Dad was a black man, sweetheart, but he wasn't good at caring for people. Mother was a ballet star and taught him, he fucking mastered it. Broke his hip and disabled himself for life, but mastered it. Somehow he dramatizes it even more that it already was, and what actually happened was already halfway out a soap opera.

Sniper: Native. Māroi biological and Aboriginal Aussie Adoptive. He's Native on top of Native. Family spoke Antakarinya at home and he taught himself Māroi. Like Soldier, he has identity issues because languages and cultures get jumbled up in his head sometimes. Hates getting told he can't participate in Aboriginal activities because he isn't actually related to his parents. "BITCH? I WAS RAISED DOING THIS SHIT?" Is very passionate about his culture, especially his Antakarinya, because that is a language two breaths from death.

Scout: Black/white. LIGHTSKIN. CHEERIO-LOOKIN' MOTHERFUCKER. LITTLE E-FUCK-FEMBOY ASS. Soon as he pull out that fried chicken he's in a chick's panties. No explanation because you don't need one.

Pyro: Black. Heavy Nigerian accent, even when their speech isn't muffled people can barely understand them at times. Doesn't have the best english pronunciation, but their voice is jacked up anyways, so it doesn't matter. Fluent in American and British ASL despite this. Big person, bigger heart. 6'7'' 265 LB person with a voice deep enough to hit the Earth's core skipping around in Kidcore Aesthetic™️ and putting stickers on everything.

Demo: Black. we all know buddy. Although I feel like the Scottish are so on a different plane of being that they should be their own race. Black/Scottish. Very smart and has multiple degrees in chemistry and he drinks so much his blood has turned into pure alcohol. Scottish behavior. He wears kilts often, but sadly wears pants under his most times because they're. yknow. on a battle ground. But I think it's a shame. Can you tell I am getting tired.

Medic: I don't fuckin know. German. His race is Germany. The whole country. You ask him his race because his skin is very swarthy so you can't tell whether he's a really tan white guy or a weirdly light black guy. He's a pacific islander/white mix, but he actually barely knows. He'll remember his mother was Polynesian and go Oh. I forgor [Insert skull emoji and a facebook minion meme about mortality}.

Heavy: Black/white mix. He got his mother's beauty marks and his dad's bulkiness. Weird genes, very light but he has very pronounced black facial features. Big nose, big lips, high cheekbones. He gets asked if he's albino more than you would think. People actually don't expect him to have such a heavy Siberian accent because you expect white Vodka twink or white vodka dad that sneezes real fucking hard to have that much of a accent, not the guy that looks like he came out of a Nella Larsen book.

OH MY FUCK I'M DONE.

[saltytwi]

just had 2 crossover ideas for aqours: one for toh, one for tf2

lol get ready for a very silly (and really messy) post

yknow the type of crossovers where you just think that what if the characters were from that universe.

so here they are:

aqours in the toh universe, which i dont know the name of this au yet

aqours in tf2, aka aqours fortress, bc i saw a niji and a muse version but didn't see one for aqours so i decided to do it

they're not idols in either of these btw

also i'm gonna take some inspo from GnY but not entirely bc i still haven't fully watched it. just some stuff

chika takami

in aqours x toh

i know there are 9 covens but she struck me as 'obsessed w magic but doesnt have it'. so yeah she uses glyphs

(but if she would go for a track it would be plant and she would use it SO MUCH to grow oranges)

she arrived in BI one day randomly and a plant coven family adopted her

her family in the canon is that plant coven family

her palisman is a puppy (it's shiitake) it's still an egg but it hatched just a while before day of unity

in aqours fortress

soldier

(she uses a rocket launcher like weapon in gny)

a detail: her bangs are longer than canon so it kinda covers her eyes along with the helmet, but she crooked it a bit so one of her eyes is visible unlike her blu counterpart

in this version of expiration date she teleported oranges for 3 days straight, instead of bread

you watanabe

in aqours x toh

construction

there is no water related coven?..cmon

anyway she and chika became friends when chika first arrived in BI, when she arrived to help her family

she uses her magic to create ramps to jump from, she's fast as hell

she's a feared player in flyer derby

her palisman is an otter

in aqours fortress

demoman

(since demo has a lot of sea-themed cosmetics) and well sea is you's whole thing

(she also has a whole solo that has a pirate/sea vibe (plus shes the center of pirates desire))

one of her melees is the giant flag in that song's live.

one of her taunts is her doing a cheerful salute

soldier demo besties = chika you besties

also btw. she uses tiny little bombs for easier carriage. think of the little blue stones at the beginning of arcane (i forgot the name of it sorry)

riko sakurauchi

in aqours x toh

bard coven

her hairpin is in the shape of a little piano, she summons a keyboard from it

she can also make magic with violins too

the second track she would learn after wild magic got legalized would be beast keeping

and yes just like in the anime, chika approached her first

her palisman is a fox, it stays on her shoulders

in aqours fortress

sniper

to be honest i didn't really know why. but then it struck

she's awkward and reserved

she likes animals

she actually has no idea how she ended up here but she doesn't really complain

she doesn't throw anything. she did throw nitric acid she found in a nest once though, and if she gets backstabbed one more time she's gonna do it again

hanamaru kunikida

in aqours x toh

potion coven

mostly seen in the library

she doesn't have a palisman yet but she got an egg (its gonna be a raccoon)

so she always walked to her school but ever since becoming friends with ruby, the latter picked her up and they fly together mostly

in aqours fortress

engineer

smart + shortest lol

hanamaru has a country-vibe(?) solo

in this universe, she's not awful with tech, in fact she's amazing at it

although she's kind of 'old-fashioned' and doesn't get social clues well

and yes she does have gunslinger

shes the one who 'made and upgraded' all the girls weapons. yeah this au kinda takes place in (kind of) future

ruby kurosawa

in aqours x toh

beast keeping

comes from a family full of illusionists, so when she decided to go for beast keeping track she got some side-eyes

except her sister. her sister supports her with her whole being

her palisman is a bunny

in aqours fortress

scout

honestly i have no idea abt this one. i think its the reason i made dia as spy so scout is automatically her sister aka ruby

she's still a diehard idol fan

in the anime her first instict when she gets scared is to sprint away as much as possible and she's fast so there you go. scout

she doesn't have many siblings like the og scout, but she does have a missing sister that her family told her

small detail: her shirt sleeves aren't rolled up

yoshiko yohane tsushima

in aqours x toh

wild magic

i was gonna give her the oracle coven since it has fortune related things but. this is a magical world. it's yohane we're talking about

she would try to master all magic as possible

her favorite is oracle though

she met with riko while she was practicing wild magic, almost got caught but riko somehow saved her from scouts, and then duo went into a bonkers adventure

after that she met chika

was aware of the day of unity bs. first warned chika, then riko

her palisman is a cat

in aqours fortress

pyro

instead of pyrovision, she sees whatever she imagines in her fallen angel thing in the anime

she's wearing a gas mask but the ones that doesn't cover your head fully. it's either that or she cut a part in the full head mask to make her bun visible. her hair is singed in soot (look man i needed something to differentiate her from the og okay)

she doesn't really take out the mask as much as her blu counterpart though.

mari ohara

in aqours x toh

abomination

she's purple lol

her family is kinda like blight indisturies

although she never really cared about their bs, always sneak off to play with dia and kanan when they were kids.

her palisman is a peacock

in aqours fortress

medic

good manners, dramatic, tad bit silly

comes from a rich family of surgeons and doctors

but she never become a doctor and work in a hospital, but she does have a license (idk if its still though)

still childhood friends with kanan and dia. although the latter disappeared after a while so it was just her and kanan

kanan matsuura

in aqours x toh

healing

her palisman is a dolphin

lives with her grandpa, they run a small clinic which also happens to be a shop that sells herbs

she wants to swim so bad. even though the water is boiling and she was born and raised in BI she didnt understand why she has a feeling like this

in aqours fortress

heavy

she's physically the strongest in her team so

wanted to support her family and her grandpa's diving shop, so she somehow found herself doing mercenary work while trying to find a work related to diving

they gave her the heavy class immediately when she lifted the minigun effortlessy in front of them (she just moved it aside from the table it was sitting on)

dia kurosawa

in aqours x toh

illusions

the only one who has a sigil branded on her wrist, even though she's still in high school

her family wanted her to be branded

teacher's pet. she's yells no running in the halls, or shuts up the class before the teacher comes in, etc.

everyone's kind of afraid of her, except her sister

her palisman is a penguin

in aqours fortress

spy

honestly this is entirely based on the vibe

she often tries to get her group together, while not being the leader

(and spy tried to get everyone to work together with their wishes during expiration date)

has good manners, and seen as cold, but she is also silly

also btw i have thoughts of giving her a hood and big sharp sunglasses instead of a balaclava bc i think it looks nice. (but she does wear balaclavas during very secretive missions)

she's still ruby's big sis. (she left the family when ruby was very young. i still havent thought much into this one)

after a while the rest of the team saw her identity

~☆●○°•°☆°•°○●☆~

additional notes:

aqours fortress

in this au, the girls are a bit older, like in post-college age

miss pauling is shizuku

admin is lanzhu

aqours is the red team

meanwhile blu is muse (technically it should be the reverse due to colors but role reversal lets go)

honoka = soldier

kotori = engineer

umi = sniper (uses her bow and arrows more than her rifle)

rin = scout

hanayo = demoman (im still not rlly sure if i should swap kotori and hanayo but kotori's smart and she's a designer, sooo...)

maki = spy (instead of a hood+glasses, she wears a fedora+mask with her hair in a bun)

nico = pyro

nozomi = medic

eli = heavy

i was actually gonna make blu as niji but couldn't decide who's who so i went with muse instead.

i had some ideas for liella but i don't know them too well. maybe one day. (the ideas in question: chisato is scout, shiki is medic, ren is heavy)

aqours x toh

none of the girls are branded since they are all still in high school, well, except dia

they're all in hexside

i have an idea where this au takes place in the same time as the actual canon, but chika's arrival would not make sense since there's probably only one door between the human realm and BI 😭 but then again. what if. another door

during the day of unity they all somehow ran away from that, thanks to yohane and chika. although dia almost died

i havent thought much about that yet

maybe they went to the human realm but i dont think thats possible bc i think there was only one door?..

anyway they all took refuge in mari's family's mansion. dia gave the illusion of it being look like shit so nobody really approached it.

yeaaaah these are not really balanced. some of them has many things, some of them doesnt. some of them also dont really make sense. but anyway i'll maybe draw something(s) for either of these aus

[doobnnoob-tf2]

🧂y here, just wanted to share some thoughts I had of the mercs. Would love to see your opinions on it!

[Ways the mercs fidget with a pen]

-Scout

I know he canonically doesn't know many words so he likely wouldn't be writing but still. I imagine he's the kind of person that just grabs a pen, and shakes it like it's a fountain pen and he's trying to get the ink flowing. It's not one, but he likes the motion.

-Sniper

No idea why but he's the kind that would probably gnaw on the cap of the pen without being too aware of how weird it is. He gives me that vibe.

-Spy

Oh, he definitely spins it. He knows so many tricks for pen spinning specifically, but he uses ones for his knife on pens as well. He thinks it makes him look unsophisticated so he immediately stops if he catches himself doing it, but he does unconsciously do that sometimes.

Scout: he fidgets with EVERYTHING.  pens, baseballs, his utensils, you name it.  if he has his hands on it, he’s fidgeting with it.  the motion for him is VERY pacifying and helps him focus.  if he’s in a stressful situation and doesn’t have something in his hands, you might as well forget about it.  he’s also definitely the type to drum on things if he’s feeling understimulated enough

Sniper: he would absolutely be a pencil/pen chewer.  but he’s very self-conscious about it and will often catch himself doing it and stop.  his most common form of fidgeting is rubbing his hands together.  he usually does it when he’s anxious, and that he doesn’t always realize he’s doing.  he also bounces his leg a lot if he’s bored

Spy: he’ll only stop spinning or playing with whatever’s in his hand if someone draws his attention to it.  he learned how to play with butterfly knives first, from a young age.  he learned how to spin pens after for times he wasn’t able to have his knife out.  but he’ll subconsciously start doing it and there’s a very good chance won’t notice/stop unless someone draws attention to it.  he won’t say anything, just stop, but he’s very irritable afterwards

also, off topic: I personally think Scout has ADHD and Dyslexia and that’s why he struggles to read.  he didn’t have teachers who did enough to help him and so it just takes him longer to read things.  not that he’s actually illiterate

[static-sulker]

The Process of drawing all nine mercs (Sniper And Spy)

haha I know, it's been a few months sense my last tumblr ramble and a good amount of time sense anything TF2 based. I've been really diving into my own fiction, with my book! I haven't talked here on it much, but I am a aspiring writer (cringe I know) and currently want to start getting a full book done and in my portfolio and not just dozens of short stories, which will be daunting but I think I can make it. It's been a hobby and a time consuming one at that, so I really haven't dove back into TF2 with the whole book thing, and my other hyperfixation holding me in a chokehold (COUGH COUGH fnaf, epithet erased and undertale COUGH COUGH). But now I have the mental capacity to continue this little series! Right now I have finished the designs for Scout, Spy, Sniper, Pyro, Engineer and Medic. Solider is almost done, as well as Demoman...Haven't touched Heavy's design but I promise I will soon...maybe...BUT! Today, I want to go over the silly little guys of Mundy, and Pierre (Spys headcanoned name for my canon :D) Anyways lets dive in!

Sniper

Sniper is held near and dear to my heart, but jesus fucking christ I could not get his design for a awhile. It wasn't just one thing and little tweaks, like most of the other members so far--Engineer, Medic and Spy--- whos were pretty simple to fix. Engie just had his hair, Medic on his mature features and Spy with what was behind the mask. Sniper had like 5 different core aspects that I couldn't draw when I first starting drawing team fortress. The face shape was extremely long for my styling and for the first few tries, it just felt too off. Either too small when i tried my original style and too much when I did it more accurate but less trained. his hat sucked the soul out of my body I fucking hate drawing hats. His figure at the time was hard, as when I started this journey I only drew twinks and girls, both being far younger then the main cast. So for awhile, I had to place Sniper on a shelf and studied Dell, Ludwig and Pierre more. When I finally adapted my style to older characters, I finally got to draw Sniper. His flavoring aren't much different, as the usual design was for my style. I think it's crazy that the original base game really doesn't show many visible scars on characters (besides the comics and the meet videos which were both for Sniper so that did help his design). I gave him a few bullet wounds and the Percy classic, wolfcut hair. I would give him some greyer streaks as I bet money that you don't stay to calm under the pressure in his shoes no matter how big his professional persona keeps up. Also I give him top surgery scars because I am trans. What do you expect me to do. I also gave him the trademark teeth impracticalities! He has a lot of chips and uneven teeth, cause he ya know...lives in a van. I also don't think they give dental care in popular game team fortress two.

SPY

Spys design is nothing but iconic. If you don't know the game, you probably have seen either Heavy or Spy in some type of meme template. That was the main intimidating hurdle I had to get across (as well as some minor tweaks as usual) on how to make this character still show as Spy on paper. The mask took a good while to get right, as masks were never my strongsuit, and hats. Fuck hats. Spy is really fun to draw though. My main practice to draw the characters was in dresses or formal attire if not their classic uniforms or cosmetics in the game. Spy felt so much easier to draw if I did in some type of cocktail dress or ever some flowery more formal dress. He just has the perfect slim build to work in my style. It was a fun design to recreate and I do really enjoy drawing him. The main issue, besides his mask which was an easy jump, was his face. Like. Behind the mask. I cannot tell you how I got it done, I just looked really hard at the details in popular fanfiction "Solitude, But Two" (READ IT OR DIE I DON'T MAKE THE RULES) By Lu_undy on ao3 Im rabid im crazy GRAJHAHAHA. Anyways. Ahem. I kinda just blacked out and then I had Spys face. I have him more hair as usual, and I got him a different teeth screw up. Impacted canines! it makes them look like little small fangs that are smaller then the teeth! It's really interesting and I had done a lot of just sharp canine work in Sniper and I kinda knew that already before drawing Spy. Give the man some tiny wrinkles because I want him to be angry and be disgusted by his imperfections because I love him. I also would nail him to a tree, no questions asked.

[quotidianish]

sorry for the wait, i had to cook dinner

but my idea for the weirder guy team's blu team is that theyre a hivemind. this is a fairly recent development, their scout found a magical artifact that was part of something merasmus started and then, for whatever reason, never finished at some point pre tf2 canon. somebody then got blood on it by accident, and the next thing blu team knew they were a hivemind.

the blu team hivemind (any pronouns) is one mind with 9 bodies, said minds personality being kind of a mashup of the traits of the people that they used to be.

they do have a name other than blu team hivemind, which is the result of me mashing up a set of nine semi-random 1st names and 9 semi-random last names, resulting in Ovailsyox Coytlaisa-uruell (from oliver crew (their scout), val romero (their soldier), xipil Hueytletl (their pyro), faris carillo (their demo), kyro branislav (their heavy), ace blackburn (their medic), murphy wu (their sniper - i feel like ive heard that name somewhere before, hopefully its nothing embarrasing or Bad), and rex campbell (their spy)). i usually just refer to them as the blu team hivemind though because the mashed up name is kind of a wizard name + some other reasons that arent really solid in my mind

id imagine theyre kind of conflicted on whether they wanna go back to being multiple people or not. on one hand, the blu team hivemind kinda likes being themself? but on the other hand theyre not sure what the former blu teams loved ones - or, should she find out, the administrator - would think, plus some other, personal stuff thats not quite solid in my brain yet.

speaking of the administrator, the weirder guy team and blu team hivemind's version of tf2 canon assumes (it kinda has to) a unique set of teams for every map (excluding mvm, training mode, and dev maps). thats 236, possibly more, teams for her to keep track of. even with help (and i highly doubt she would want more than two or three people helping her because every assistant is an added liability), she probably isnt able to keep track of all of them equally. the weirder guy team and pre-hivemind blu team are some of the lower priority teams. therefore, while the administrator is still a factor, shes less of one than for the canon teams. it would also be a bit easier to keep a secret from her.

id imagine it would get kinda lonely for the blu team hivemind? like they have nobody to talk to except themself and theyre a while away from the closest civilization (i dont have a map for them yet, but in my mind the weirder guy team and blu team hivemind are in the mountains somewhere).

i have a lil scenario in my mind where the weirder guy team notice how unusualy cohesive the blu team have been, and matheo sneaks into their base to see if its anything they need to know about. he finds out about the fact that theyre a hivemind now and eventually befreinds them out of pity. may or may not make that canon, idk

Always love the idea of a tf2 hivemind. Having multiple, such vastly different and often extravagant personalities in one entity is an incredibly fun idea to play with. Makes sense they would debate over returning to their normal states, your characters are peak man. Love this stuff, keep up the brilliant work!

[skittidyne]

fifty questions for commander shepard

og post by @spookyvalentine​! (i also could’ve sworn i’ve done this before but i cannot find it bc i don’t tag things so now i am officially making a tag for my shepard i guess)

these are all about my canon shepard, aka the star of my mass effect fic series. her name is elyse shepard! :’3

1. Why did Shepard enlist? Any regrets?

she enlisted immediately at 16 out of a desire to show her gratitude to the alliance & anderson for saving her on mindoir, and out of some survivor’s guilt (she has to make herself useful). she regrets that cerberus pulled at her & anderson’s relationship, but she doesn’t regret joining the alliance, nor leaving it.

2. How does your Shepard feel about having a yeoman assigned to them in 2? And in 3?

super awkward at first! she’d never been “important” enough to have someone to delegate to, though of course she’d complained about wanting one on the SR1. but kelly was friendly (and pushy) enough that shepard relaxed into having a kind of assistant, and now she’s very grateful.

3. What’s their relationship with Anderson?

DAD. it’s a mix of hero worship and father figure, but he views her as a daughter figure, though they’re both a little too emotionally stunted to acknowledge it.

4. Is your Shepard any good at poker?

nope! she has a decent poker face, but she also has tells. she also has strangely bad luck with cards, too.

5. How well does Shepard know their crew? Not just the companions, but the folks making up the Normandy

very well! she makes a point to get to know everyone on her ship, especially after it became her ship in me2. these people are hers.

6. Initial reaction to EDI? Does it change? 

leery, thinking she was a cerberus spy or spyware, but not too bothered about the AI thing. immediately thought it was funny how offended joker was by EDI, however, and how they bickered, so that actually helped soften shepard’s feelings toward her before she got unshackled and started to become herself. plus, AI are super convenient for doing all sorts of small tasks that shepard can’t be assed to think about!

7. Does their love interest move into their quarters?

pretty much! she has a big bed, after all. :3c

8. What is their reaction to the Alchera mission? And after?

She Doesn’t Want To Talk About It. afterward was a lot of drinking. after a certain point of drunkenness, she allowed others to come drink with her, at least.

9. What type of fighter is your shepard? Do they fight with honor, or do they fight dirty

elyse is a paradoxical mix of goody-two-shoes alliance girl scout and “i will kick you in the quads, throw dirt in your eyes, and spit on your grave”. a lot of her tactics and moves are very textbook (but she’s very good at them), but then she’ll do stuff like “let’s all focus on blowing up that one leg off that colossus just to watch it skitter around”. she doesn’t mind collateral damage and absolutely does not mind gore.

it’s probably for the best that her sniper rifle is so strong it usually kills in one shot. you wouldn’t want to catch her in a mood where she wants to play with her kills, after all.

10. Does Shepard keep any pets? The hamster, fish, something else?

she does keep fish, albeit not with a 100% living rate. she adores her hamster and fully adopted urz, too!

11. What order does Shepard pick up companions in me2?

miranda & jacob, kasumi, zaeed, mordin, garrus, jack, grunt, thane, tali, samara, legion

12. Does Shepard have any nicknames? What do they think of em?

she staunchly refuses nicknames or shortened forms of her first name. she’ll accept “shep” from kasumi/squadmates who are close to her.

13. How does your Shep react to teasing/ribbing?

she can usually give as good as she gets! however, she has a very pale complexion, and humans blush quite brilliantly. she hates that part.

14. Any good at flirting?

better than Certain Squadmates, but ultimately about average. she’s never had much interest in doing it; there’s always bigger things to do.

she’s better if it’s banter-y, though. she likes banter.

15. What colors does Shepard prefer for their armor?

she uses the iconic black with the white and red stripe! she worked hard to earn that n7 designation, damn it, and at this point, she’s known for it. she wears it like a flag to warn her enemies.

16. Is Shepard a drinker? History of other substances? Do they struggle with sobriety

she’s definitely a drinker! her cerberus-remade body can handle it faster than she can usually down booze, though, so she technically does not struggle with sobriety. she knows how to get drunk by this point, but can’t stay drunk for very long. she drinks more than she should.

she tried smoking in basic because she thought it looked cool. she was the kid who choked and almost died the first time.

17. How does Shepard react to attention? Do they enjoy it?

depends on the type of attention - if it’s the hero-worship-y type that random people (especially alliance grunts) have for her, she’ll roll her eyes and try to avoid. but she adores attention from anyone she actually likes. giving and receiving attention are her #1 love language.

(she especially loves it from the gruffer teammates, like jack or zaeed, because it means they’re really trying to friendship.)

18. Who’s the dream team? Which companions does Shepard fight best with and why?

those are two VERY different answers!

shepard loves taking Team Sexy Sniper (garrus & thane) out, and they’re all skilled enough to complete a mission, but... she’s an infiltrator, so you’re looking at three snipers. this is not very strategically sound.

she works best with someone tank-y (grunt, usually) to let her actually be a sniper instead of trying to shoot people at close range with her black widow. she also works spectacularly well with liara, because when you’ve shared brainwaves with someone, you speedrun learning how to fight as a team.

19. Are there any companions your Shepard just absolutely cannot vibe with or relate to

she tries her damnedest! (and her success at friendshipping with jack may have lent her too much hubris on the subject.) but she struggles to get along with javik - which is strange, because if they’re only talking shop/tactics, they get along really well. but then one of them will say something that’s apparently “wrong” for the other, and then they’re back to growling at each other.

she respects that he’s a soldier, through and through, and she definitely understands grieving. but he’s arrogant and prickly and unsociable past that, and that’s what she fights with.

20. Does Shepard enjoy looking for resources and upgrading gear, or do they see it as a chore?

elyse shepard is a HOARDER and she will leave NO STONE UNTURNED. everyone else sees it as a chore to let her pick through everything possible.

21. Do you have any AUs for your shepard?

i wrote an entire thing here! it’s currently in a me3 rewrite/fix-it because bioware be tempting me to write better than them.

22. What’s the last thing Shepard ate before the final reaper showdown?

i don’t think she could’ve eaten anything. garrus might’ve forced a protein bar down her, but she definitely sat in her quarters and drank.

24. Who does Shepard turn to for advice? For comfort? Who do they like to gossip with

liara is the only one who fits all three of those!

for advice: depending on the subject, shepard will seek out samara or thane, and sometimes (grudgingly) kelly if it’s something emotional. she doesn’t seek it out from him, but mordin gives her a lot of unprompted advice. usually on her sex life.

for comfort: she’s close enough to her crew that she could probably go to most of them (or whoever’s closest at the time, if it’s bad), but she especially prioritizes those who were on the SR1 with her and have served with her the longest. joker is absolutely included in this, to his sometimes embarrassment. (extra funny if you imagine her calling up wrex on tuchanka and he’s like “wtf do i do with an upset human”)

gossip: TALI AND KASUMI. also chakwas, shockingly enough.

25. How emotionally articulate is your Shepard? Do they emote well?

she’s good with happiness and anger and professionalism. she’s technically good at grieving, but her grieving process also involves hiding from others, so i’m not sure it counts as “emoting well”. but she knows how to get through it.

she flusters easily if caught off guard by flirting/affection/romance, though, and she is very awkward around serious injuries or dying. death, she can handle. blood and wounds, she can handle. the process in getting better? not so much.

26. Does your Shepard have a romance? Who are they, and what drew Shep to them?

romancing both thane & garrus! :3c

garrus - she immediately went “that’s gonna be my friend” when meeting him, and they rapidly fell in like with each other on the SR1, though both were oblivious to it outside of “gee i sure do trust and admire this person, i love spending time with them, this is a normal best friendship”. thankfully, especially for tali and liara’s sanity, on the SR2, they realized their feelings were best friendship AND romantic.

thane - elyse was IMMEDIATELY like “oh boy /eye emoji” when thane dropped out of that vent. she did not, however, know what to do with instant attraction, nor did she know what to do with thane “i read poetry for fun and am soft and sentimental and religious and also i will give you a very meaningful and borderline worshipful pet name” krios after she got to know him. thankfully, he was equally enamored with her, because if left to her own devices, she would’ve just gone “i will sit here consumed with lust” and never actually act on it. (she was kind of intimidated by her own immediate attraction.)

also, she has a voice kink. she’s a happy camper with those two.

27. Do they have any pet peeves?

others not cleaning their weapons, having to talk to politicians, having those politicians pretend she is somehow a politician, and everything to do with conrad verner.

28. What about hyperfixations? What’s the topic that will get Shepard rolling no matter the person or place

she’s a long-time and semi-secret fan of horror vids, specifically old human genres. but she’s very :O about learning about alien subgenres, too.

also SNIPER RIFLES.

29. How active is Shepard? Are they hitting the gym, playing sports, or do they prefer quieter downtime?

to miranda’s undying irritation, shepard has gotten very lax after becoming accustomed to her new body. she still spars (though more for the adrenaline and bragging rights) and does basic workout routines, but she’s now aware of what her new muscles can do - and hey, synthetic weave doesn’t atrophy. she doesn’t have to try anymore, so she doesn’t. (she has, however, lost a lot of flexibility that miranda gave her; that much can fade without maintenance.)

she’s the type of person who gives you a blank look and goes “uh, reading?” when asked what her non-fighting hobbies are. she’s lying. she doesn’t read. she doesn’t have hobbies outside of saving the galaxy, though she probably should.

30. What will always make them laugh?

anything to do with irritating or dragging the council. she probably has a very specific old in-joke with joker that will always make her clutch her sides and almost die, too, and both of them refuse to explain it.

31. Who can always make them laugh?

garrus, joker, and EDI - the latter because her humor protocols are so bad it’s usually a laugh of surprise. but still counts.

32. What do they do when they have hit their limit angry, just incandescent with rage

physically lashes out. usually she’ll drag someone into the sparring ring, but heaven help you if it’s in the middle of a battle, because she is not above ripping things apart with her hands. (she does not have biotics. this is sheer rage and cybernetically enhanced muscle.)

33. What skills do they have that are a surprise to the people around them?

she really is good with other people. a lot of her detractors would assume that a lot of her team/supporters have been intimidated by her, or are just going with who’s powerful, but nah. she’s friends.

she’s also got a good memory for wartime tactics. she wrote a thesis on napoleon bonaparte in n7 school.

34. Got any tattoos?

nope!

35. Which companions have they lost? How do they cope with it?

virmire was bad - she lost kaidan and nearly lost wrex. time has dampened it, and elyse is very good at grief by this point in her life. she soldiers on.

36. Do they like to style their hair, wear makeup and jewlery? How do they feel about getting dressed up?

she usually wears her hair in a short braid, and used to do buns for the alliance (before she got important enough she didn’t have to care about regs). she also wears eyeliner. (gave her SR1 alien crew a heart attack the first time she sweated it off so it looked like she was crying black.)

the only jewelry she wears are her old dogtags, and that sort of depends on her mood. not so much anymore.

37. Got any bad habits?

thinking too many alien creatures are cute and trying to adopt them. while also forgetting to feed her fish. she also likes to strip out of her armor and drop the hardsuit pieces like a trail leading to her bed after particularly long missions. (she’ll clean it up after she wakes, but others have also picked up after her.)

38. Does Shepard do any activities with the companions and crew during downtime?

she does drink socially with them, and can usually be cajoled into playing various card games, but only if she thinks she has time for the latter. she enjoys eating together with others, though.

and she LOVES sparring with others. EDI keeps score of wins and losses for the normandy crew.

39. Do they keep around any sentimental items?

her main gun is a comfort item by this point. she’s lost everything too many times in the past to have many other things.

40. Does your Shepard actually like to collect model ships? If not, what do they display?

she does like model ships!

41. How is Shepard with a gun? What about hand to hand?

she’s a beast with her sniper rifle, both for its heavily modded power and her skill at range. but despite being an infiltrator, she’s good at hand to hand, too; n7 training demands nothing less. (those new to her crew usually have heart attacks the first time they see her charge into battle rather than pick a sniping perch. it’s a rite of passage for others to get used to her doing that.)

42. Favorite weapon?

HER BLACK WIDOW. and her widow, before that. she loves her sniper rifle.

43. Which version of the Normandy do they like best?

the SR2 is bigger and feels more like hers, rather than something she took from anderson.

44. Do they like to rotate out companions for quests? Who do they bring the most?

she does rotate out! elyse is very particular about taking those best suited for it - but she does have a couple of defaults if she deems the mission too easy or not specific enough to require certain crew. she does like using garrus and thane a lot, mostly because they compete for best sniper shot on each mission.

45. Do they approve of curing the genophage?

yes, as a personal opinion. she doesn’t like that others ask her about it, though; she doesn’t think she should have any official opinion, given that she’s human (newcomer to the galaxy) and not part of any of the fraught history.

46. Does Shepard allow the rachni to live in me1?

she absolutely does! it is not a popular choice.

47. Does Shepard practice any kind of self-care?

shooting things and drinking are her self-care.

48. What abilities do they rely on the most in a fight?

she uses her tactical cloak if needed - getting in close or navigating a tricky spot - but adores incinerate if she’s close enough. no one should have let her set things on fire.

49. What is Shepard’s happy ending? What’s the dream that keeps em going

she doesn’t think she has one - she fully believes she’s going to fight against the reapers until she’s dead, but hopefully it’s at the end by that point, because she doesn’t like the thought of others having to clean up after her.

BUT. a HAPPY ending for her would involve a lot of complicated, opposite things that she doesn’t care to rationalize, because dreams don’t have to make sense! elyse would want a permanent home on a planet, on dirt, some place with a lot of open space and sky. somewhere where people wouldn’t call her “commander”. but she’s also super accustomed to starships and like hell she would ever give up the normandy.

50. Is your Shepard indoctrinated

nope! the rachni queen even checked for her.

(+1: what does Shepard smell like?)

gun oil and sweat. clean laundry if she actually bothered to change her clothes.

(humans smell sweet, according to most aliens, though.)