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bbq-hawks-wings · 5 years

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Art reposting etiquette

I see art theft happen a lot, and whether or not it's true or has just been happening more frequently in the circles I follow I can't help but at least feel like it's becoming more and more of a problem.

To be clear, "reposting" is downloading art from a website that you did not make or own, and uploading it as a separate post, regardless of where and how it's presented - with notable exception of header and profile pictures assuming they are not trying to imitate the artist. Not all art theft is reposting, but all improper reposting is art theft.

As cut and dry as "stop art theft it's bad, don't repost art" posts make it sound, there are several benevolent reasons people may want to repost such as:

Believing they are spreading the artist's influence around the internet

Adding intrigue or a visual aid to a fanfiction

Sharing some neat art they thought was really cool

Just to name a few

Assuming the best in people, these are not necessarily bad reasons and DON'T MAKE PEOPLE BAD, but many often don't understand there's a dark side to the reposting issue.

People who may want more art may be unable to find the original creator

People may not realize that the artist makes rent with the very artwork you're enjoying and they may be looking at stolen premium content meant to put food on the table

People take art and further edit it so that it becomes even harder to trace back to the original

Malicious websites and bots find popular fanart and illegally use it to produce bootleg merch. This has a double-whammy effect when someone sees the merch IRL when out and about and wants it because it's cool art of their favorite character but don't realize the artist is actively being robbed.

Reposting art makes it harder for the artist to track down the thief and take legal action as well as actively funnels traffic away from their business. By and large it should always be assumed that reposting for any reason is damaging to the artist's wellbeing; and frankly, if you don't care you're actively hurting someone, it makes you the asshole, not me for calling you out.

But, that isn't to say reposting is NEVER allowed, but ONLY UNDER EXTREMELY SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES. That's the point of this post.

Before you can decide if you should even attempt to repost art, check these things first:

If it says directly on the art "do not repost" don't waste your time. They are not going to make an exception for you.

Check to see if the art is already on the platform you're planning to upload to (especially here on Tumblr). Often, artists make it a point to put their work in very specific locations for their own reasons. They may not want their work on your website at all and you need to respect that.

Gain the artist's explicit permission after explaining where you want to repost their work, which work you want to repost, and why with how you plan to credit them. If you gain permission, keep a copy of the conversation for your own protection. If you do not gain permission, don't repost at all.

If you gain permission to repost art, these things are an absolute necessity:

Mention of the artist's name

THEIR main platform of choice

link to the original piece used

It would likely look something like this:

Artwork uploaded with express permission by @[artist] on [website], found here - (hyperlinked to original piece)

Bonus information to include:

Additional social media handles of the artist

Link to the artist's Patreon and/or Ko-Fi if available

Link to artist's store if available

Hyperlinking the image itself so other users can just click it to find the work/artist

Remember reposting should be about the artist, NOT YOU. You didn't create the work, and even if you supported them via Patreon it still doesn't belong to you, nor are you entitled to it. A commission you personally paid for is the only piece of work of that artist's creation you are ever entitled to unless otherwise stated in a contract when you bought it.

To continue to cover my bases I'm going to address some stances that may pop up about the issue:

"I didn't know reposting was that bad!"

It's okay. That's why I made this post. In general, as a supportive fan and consumer you should try to learn how artists are rewarded for their work on different platforms. YouTube is different from Instagram is different from Facebook is different from Tumblr. Learn which best ways to support your favorite artists in the ways that are most beneficial to them, even if all they ask for is respect and a little appreciation. And do take down any art you may have reposted. It can continue to do damage by remaining up, but removing it almost always mitigates any future harm and genuinely helps. Now you know better and can be better moving forward!

"I can't get ahold of the artist for permission."

Don't repost it then. Remember, at the end of the day reposting is only good for the reposter in fake internet points or actual money/intellectual property stolen but always tangibly hurts the artist. It sucks, but they have a right to determine where and how their hard work is displayed.

"Whatever, I'll do what I want. Lol"

Enjoy your takedown. Hey, artists, did you know you can find each website's terms of service and figure out how to submit a report with the offending post and user, and they're usually good about getting it down within days?! Look for "misappropriation" that's your ticket! 😊

But seriously, repeat offenders can get permanently banned from sites and even sued for actual real-world money and damages over your precious fake internet points. It actually pays to not be an ass!

"But I just want to support the artist and reposting is so easy!"

You know what's even easier?

It's literally only one or two clicks to support the artist or tell them how much you love their work! Most other platforms make supporting content creators just as easy, and some platforms even PAY the creators based on them or enable them to grasp opportunities to be paid!

"But I don't want to bog down my followers with a huge reblog dump of one person's stuff."

Put it in queue to space it out, then.

"I don't have money to support the artist so I repost instead to give them exposure."

Time and time again it's been proven that reposting actively funnels money AWAY from them. You don't have to monetarily support them with much. Buy one thing from their store or give them $1 on Ko-Fi. If you can't even do that, tell them you love their stuff and shout to the rooftops where someone else can pay them; but don't make it harder for them to get paid. Too many artists "die of exposure."

"Why do you even care?"

I AM an artist. I currently support artists with real money monthly because I love their work. I only ever make money off my own art on commissions, and that relies on people being able to find me. I'm not even the one supporting my two children, husband, pet, and medical expenses with only this option to pay for it, and you bet your butt I still would be pissed if I ever found out my art had been misappropriated. Some people do this to SURVIVE and I want to see that those who do have as little unnecessary struggle with it as possible.

"It's fanart/fan content put on the internet for free I can do whatever I want with it!"

At least in North America the law says you can't. Did you know that the way laws are currently written, if someone takes a picture of you and finds a way to make money off that photo they don't owe you a dime? They hold the copyright to it. When art is displayed publicly, that copyright is not surrendered and is automatically afforded to the artist by virtue of it being their specific expression and work. By being their work, they can actually sue you for stealing their property.

Ask Disney, they're really good at it.

And to close this out I want to say one more thing: the internet has changed a LOT in the time I started browsing from the early 2000's. Rules are different, cultures are different, and for younger people especially you may not understand how some have had to (and still do) fight tooth and nail over this internet space and still make it.

If you didn't know all this, THAT'S OKAY! You're learning, and the internet is more or less a wild west right now. That means it's equal opportunity to be a killing field or a place we can lift up and support each other. Reposting is just one corner of the bad things that can come of it, but now you know how to help and even start reversing the damage.

Learn about how people who upload free content make money. When you find misappropriated work, report them to the site and try to inform the artist - don't even acknowledge the thief, just slap a ticket on them and move on. Teach others how and why reposting is bad and what they can do to help.

If you love free content, show respect and protect it. Otherwise, artists will have to put it behind a paywall and that content you loved will disappear over time. Respect will get you a much greater return than entitlement.

#she speaks #this is meant to be educational not a callout post #do not harrass anyone you find reposting art #never do it - you here me!!!#i see it all the time #stop it #and if you reposted it's ok #i'm not after you #i just want you to know and learn

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pjmnns · 5 years

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Sue Me ii

You walked out when he broke your heart. Words were left unsaid, thoughts pushed away, unanswered questions left unanswered— remember when he said there was no second chance? When you run into each other at the same place you first met, he’s hoping to change the past. You say: So sue me for being something you couldn’t forget.

Lawyer!AU, ex-lovers!AU + twist // angst, major fluff, crack (?)

Pairing: Reader X Jungkook

Rating: T (swearing)

Warnings: swearing and sum horrible attempt at writing crack part 2, better character development idk i tried guys

Word Count: 7.5k-ish

>> 1 / 2

Hiii guys I’m back!! Here’s part 2 of Sue Me! It’s a little longer and it turned out better than I initially planned so hope you all like it as well,, please leave me comments and feed back!

“He what?!”

“Shhh,, Jesus keep your voice down Mina, I don’t need the whole office knowing,” you quickly whisper as your gaze searches the empty office floor for any intruding listeners. You show her the invitation and as her eyes flit across the paper, she can’t help but grin, stifling a squeal. Her heels tap excitedly against the carpet instead, the muffled taps an outlet for her excitement.

“I can’t believe he offered to go with you, and just after that one run in at the club, ugh y/n I don’t know how to deal with this!” Finally letting out her squeal she gives your arm a squeeze while you gingerly smile in response.

Mina has been the only other soul you’ve told about the reunion and Jungkook’s offer of course. At least there was someone else in your life you were thankful for to tell your thoughts to. Mina was your senior by a year, personal assistant and secretary to Jeon Junghyun, the other dastardly charming and handsome Jeon lawyer and Jungkook’s older brother. Having gone to your college and subsequently landing a job at the law firm as well, she quickly sought you on your first day of work before you could introduce yourself. Mina was the very kind and passionate woman you could only wish to be someday in the near future. Her poise and professionalism, however, only a workplace facade as you quickly got to know her more quirky, spontaneous personality. She quickly took you under her wing, both at the office and literally when you were temporarily homeless after being kicked out of your apartment. Regardless of the brief time the two of you spent with each other, the relationship with Mina peaked when she offered to be roommates, claiming her plants at home “needed more love and another source of oxygen”. Since then you and Mina commute to the office and school everyday, becoming one another’s sister you never knew you needed but always wanted.

Over the course of wine-drunk nights and girls-night-in, Mina knew well of your history with Hoseok. She wasn’t surprised about his desperation of being a fuckboy, acknowledging the social flourish of guys like him in college settings, once they’ve surpassed the awkward stages of high school. With Mina, you poured out your heartbreak consumed by emotions and alcohol, the understood break-up starter pack. Too many times had Mina drop kicked your body pillow drunkenly, claiming it was Hoseok’s cheating ass, or visualized his face on the dart board of your favorite bar. All in all, Mina was your number one supporter of using, no requesting Jungkook’s presence to emphasize your post heartbreak move-on.

“If only Junghyun had enough romance in his body to realize what a smoking hot secretary he has and offer to aid her in some devious revenge slash I’m the bigger person romcom plot,” you say sighing, waggling your eyebrows at her. Sure enough, you really wish Junghyun had the hots for your friend, they both looked ridiculously and illegally good together and you weren’t surprised if there were unintentional feelings masked by both their strict adherence to professionalism. You swear you’ve seen Junghyun linger the eye contact with Mina, or maybe it’s the way he waits for her every morning at the elevator, or even his tone differs with her. You mentally slap yourself for not compiling physical evidence of the potential blossoming of love in the office.

“Hey! My boss isn’t the one you should be worried about having any romance in him, seems like yours might have a little too much huhh??” Nudging her foot against yours, you push her swivel chair as she spins away laughing, your face heating up at her simple comment. There’s nothing romantic about Jungkook going as your date, its merely, no strictly, correcting yourself, an offer to gain a little self-confidence to finally get over your first heart-break. It’s just another opportunity in the road of life you tell yourself, acknowledging the immense kindness your boss is extending towards you. And in no way did he appear to make it a charity case, rather it seemed like he wanted to see you find closure and perhaps wipe that smirk off your ex’s face while you’re at it. Grinning, you roll towards Mina and pull her closer but your conversation is suddenly interrupted by the surge of co-workers arriving back from their lunch break. “We’ll talk tonight y/n,” Mina whispers, sending you a wink as you both turn towards your desk.

“Mina can you come into my office.”

“Y/n, you as well, I need some things.” The Jeon brothers peek out from their offices at opposite ends of the sector, both dressed in handsome attire though somewhat lax in appearance like the rolled up sleeves or unbuttoned collar. The pair of you stand to walk towards their respective offices but not before you had the chance to make kissy faces at Mina, she slapping your ass in turn as you both hope nobody witnessed the exchange. As Mina disappears into Junghyun’s office, you gingerly close the door to Jungkook’s.

“Y/n, I need you to research previous rulings similar to this case and make a list of laws relating to the client’s situation, focus especially on loopholes that the prosecution may pinpoint or any extraneous details that could possibly give us leverage. Also formulate the agreement for the Jung case that we observed earlier, I need that by tomorrow if possible, we will meet with them in person and have it dealt with. Email a copy to their legal team when you’re finished and remind them of the meeting.”

Jungkook looks up after assigning the tasks to you, realizing you haven’t responded due to your diligence in writing notes. As he waited for you to catch up, he quietly observes the way you support your notepad with one hand while your other grips the pen, marking the page in quick flourishes; the way your soft hair spills over your shoulders, a strand you haven’t had the chance to tuck behind your ear as your face scrunched in concentration. Slowly, he begins to acknowledge the tug in his chest, a pull of admiration and something more. He had always been praised for being the youngest lawyer to work at his family’s firm, an aside to being an accomplished one at that. Moreover he’s used to the fawning of others in the workplace that aren’t his actual family, especially the female coworkers who can only stare and sweetly smile at the lawyer, hoping for acknowledgment. In truth, Jungkook had dreaded having an intern who would double as his secretary, he didn’t need the help nor did he need the prospects of a clingy “fangirl”. He had always respected the office as a professional setting and although he would casually smile to the women vying for his attention, he wasn’t fond of it either. Junghyun had convinced Jungkook to accept the proposal after telling him that his work would be more efficient and having an official secretary made his position more, well official. When Jungkook conceded, his brother made sure his own secretary would pick and choose the ideal candidate, hoping to gain insight from someone as good at the job as Mina was.

Meeting you for the first time, Jungkook immediately acknowledged your professionalism and your immense passion that unraveled over the course of time. Since then, Jungkook saw you as his equal, no less than him despite still being a college student, and no less despite your position as an intern. He understood the dynamic of lawyer and intern/secretary, Junghyun and Mina the perfect exemple of equal parts trust, efficiency, and professionalism, that which you and him immediately gained upon the first week of your arrival. He really did enjoy your company, not only because of your work ethic and your proficiency but even then your personality. Though he only got to know one facet at work, he witnessed many more that night at the club which made him all the more curious about you. Jungkook himself wasn’t sure why he was so adamant about accompanying you to your reunion but when he saw your douchebag ex and the greasy smirk permanently etched onto his face, the way you actually opened your heart to him willingly, trusting him when he encouraged you to go on, he felt a little bit of his professional demeanor falter. He sought the desire for his intern to be happy, to be able to move on from the past and seek closure herself, much like what he always strives for in helping his clients. Jungkook wasn’t so twisted that he would consider the offer to you like that of a client, but a part of him— a very large part of him wanted to see you shining in brilliance and happiness, exuding the same amount of confidence you have for your job to be equal to that of your personal life. And if Jungkook was able to be the source of that, by all means adamant he would be.

“Is that all Mr. Jeon?” you inquire, glancing up from your notepad. You realize that Jungkook was already looking at you but you fail to break eye contact because you were the one who had the last word. You tensely smile and manage a gulp, hoping he wouldn’t notice your attempt to shrink from his intense gaze.

“Please call me Jungkook y/n. If we’re gonna pull this off, I can’t have you calling me mister the whole night,” referring to your reunion.

“Of course Jungkook, sorry just a workplace habit.” Your tone wavers and you grip your notepad, but nonetheless forcing yourself to inquire further, “Are you sure you still want to go through with this Jungkook?” completely aware that you had dropped your professionalism in an effort to confirm your thoughts.

Jungkook smiles at your awkwardness and the unease that appears to cross your face, softly chuckling he confirm his offer, adding a quick “no returns or exchanges cause you’re stuck with me now” which causes you to widen in expression, surprised that he too had dropped the professionalism. As you turn to leave his office after you wave your notebook in the air and tell him you intend to get your work done, Jungkook can’t help but feel a little lighter, reminiscing the same way he felt that night when the both of you were just a little intoxicated and a lot more comfortable. xx

As Jungkook moves forward in shaking the client’s hands, you stand as well bowing towards their departure. Sighing, Jungkook takes a seat and leans back, body lax in an attempt of relieving the stress he had accumulated from the week. The reunion was in a week and the two of you still had to bring the topic up to the table. Seeing as the meeting ended the work day and you would be subsequently going home afterwards, you wondered if you could bring it up to Jungkook. Your thoughts are interrupted when Jungkook calls you out. Sipping his drink, he inquires: “Y/n, do you know what you’re wearing yet?” You take a moment to think and shake your head no, mentally adding one more thing to your infinite list of things to stress about. “Hmm, are you doing anything else for today then?” and again you shake your head no, not understanding why he felt the need to ask that nor what his intentions were. As Jungkook rises to stand, he quips his head towards the door, motioning for you to follow him. “Alright, well let’s have a dress rehearsal then, shall we?”

Both of you pile into his car, you not too foreign with him driving the luxurious Maserati across town to attend court rulings and client meetings. Yet as the sun begins to set in the city and Jungkook turns on the radio to soft music, you can feel the work stress of the week dissolving from your body, able to let go of the professionalism of the office to just chilling on a car ride. You guess the same goes for Jungkook as he drives steadily with one hand, the other dragging through his soft hair, touselling the usual neat hairdo as the wind blows through it as well, his elbow resting on the windowsill. You never had the opportunity to fully take in Jungkook’s appearance, you’re usually too busy taking care of his tasks or dedicating yourself fully to the case to spare a moment to admire the man all the other women can’t seem to get enough of. You never understood their’ obsession with your boss, giving you the side eye or whispering about you when you first landed the internship, eventually you learned it was all laced with jealousy. You simply recognized Jungkook’s ability and work ethic that you only had respect for the man you would be working with.

However, in the moment of driving like this you truly realized how handsome he was. His side profile contrasts against the disappearing light of the setting sun, his eyes bright and soft though worn with fatigue, the curve of his nose, your gaze tumbling towards his soft lips that are now pulled at the edges as he hums to the song. He truly is remarkable and you regret not being able to see it sooner, his youth honestly exuding from his appearance, in his smile, as he slowly turns his head to face you. For some reason you can’t look away, and you don’t. You stare at him, hoping your gaze isn’t too intense as you take in all his features. His soft smile only grows wider and you notice two perfect imperfections on his face, the whisper of a scar against his left cheek and the devious mole right underneath his bottom lip. He redirects his attention to the road but not before taking in your own soft features, your eyes that still have not abandoned him.

Inhaling, you take in a deep breath of air filling your lungs, able to grasp at the relieving freedom. As Jungkook drives across a bridge, you lean back against the seat and turn towards him again, hands folded between your face and the leather seats.

“Thank you,” you softly say, hoping the wind doesn’t carry your words away from his ear. Without glancing over at you, Jungkook asks “for what,” feeding you the confidence to keep speaking.

“For believing in me I guess.. for believing in my right to closure. No matter how much of a front I put on, it all comes down the moment I remember what happened. Curse my impeccable memory but I can recall everything like it happened yesterday,” you speak with a small, sad smile. Jungkook finally looks over at you again and this time, your soft eyes are lost in the past, lost in the very real, very valid pain that you barely speak about.

“We were slowly fading, I could feel it. I tried so hard to grasp at whatever was left but I just couldn’t, like you know when you lose a balloon and it just keeps drifting away but no matter how high you jump or how hard you run after it, the ribbon just keeps slipping out of your grasp.” Jungkook affirms by nodding so you continue.

“Day by day, his temper grew shorter and the things he would say to me just hit harder. He would tell me that it was my fault we were falling apart, unable to keep up with his affections, unable to cater to his needs, unable to be what he wanted.”

“He didn’t just reject my attempt but he rejected me overall. The things he once adored about me burned with annoyance until he couldn’t even look at me, my appearance and my personality, it all shattered. I felt disgusted with myself, out of my own skin. Because someone couldn’t love me anymore, I couldn't love myself.”

Jungkook caught the tear that escaped your eyes, as it slowly rolled down your cheek, the sunlight glinted off of it, enticing him to reach a hand towards you and brush the memento of pain off your cheek. You looked over at him, catching his gaze as you forced a sad smile. Jungkook could only return with his own small smile, not equal in pain but equal in understanding and empathy.

He didn’t ask for the rest of the story, recalling that it had ended with you catching him in the act with no one else but your childhood best friend. What a fucking dick Jungkook thought to himself. How could anyone do that to someone like you he seriously wondered, his dangerously impassioned thoughts seriously contemplating the sick humanity of some people.

As he parks the car and climbs out, you look around curiously acknowledging the place he had driven to as one of the classiest boutiques in the city. You could barely afford the cheapest clothes hanger here being a college student and all but you guess window shopping would be nice for the soul and easy on the eyes. Silently thanking god you were still dressed in your work clothes, you could walk around without standing out, even more so walking alongside Jungkook. You quickly catch up to his long strides and he chuckles at your fervor to walk next to him. As he pulls a door open, you enter the store hesitantly and wait for him to come inside as well. Your eyes immediately marvel at the grandeur of the place, the crystal chandelier and the endless displays of designer shoes, and couture clothing, the overall extravagant gold aesthetic the store feeds. Your eyes are lighting up and Jungkook makes a note of the way you take in the little things, the subtle glimmer of the waxed floor and the array of mirrors that reflect the crystal light. Too afraid to touch anything, your hand simply graces above the clothes as a small exhale escapes your mouth as if you were holding your breath. Jungkook admires you from behind, your frame walking along the store as your hand is outstretched, lightly skimming the couture, a smile of humility on your face as your eyes reveal the joy you have for art, a simple sight but nonetheless beautiful in his eyes. As Jungkook moves to approach you, he swore to himself he would never ever forget the look on your face, the way his heart skips a beat at the awestruck look you give him, gratitude flashing across your face thanking him for showing you such beauty.

“So what was his favorite color?” Your thoughts fall back down to reality and you stutter to answer before finally responding with an “Excuse me?”

Jungkook gives you a smirk, something you rarely ever see in the office, as he explains himself. “I was thinking that you should wear his favorite color…because then whenever he thinks about the color, it’s associated with how good you will look that night and he will always regret the fact that now his favorite something was something he lost sight of?” his confidence faltering at the end of his scheme. You couldn’t help but giggle at his cute attempt to make the entire comeback plan worthwhile, appreciating his efforts because you can literally see the gears turning in his mind, you take a step closer and give him the most genuine smile you could possibly show.

“Green. Green was his favorite color.”

“Oh and Jungkook? I like that. A lot,” referring to his idea, saying so before he quickly scans the store for any green dresses. As his eyes land on one near the back of the store, he grabs your hands and yank you towards it, your excitement bursting as you grip his hand tighter.

Jungkook anxiously sits outside on the plush sofa in the changing rooms. He’s silently grateful there weren’t many customers in the store so that he could sit in the changing room waiting area without looking too suspicious. He picks up a magazine to skim through while you try on the dress he had chosen for you.

As the heavy velvet curtain slowly moves aside, Jungkook’s eyes gaze up and peer out over the magazine. Immediately he breaks out into a grin as his hand flies up to rub his neck, the tingling in his ears bothersome against the suddenly loud thumping of his heart.

You looked beautiful in green, more so emerald, but nonetheless the dress hugged all the right curves as it stopped mid thigh, the micro slit teasing for more while the top cascaded down your chest, an appropriate amount of cleavage that left much to one’s imagination. The emerald brought out your dark features, the brilliance in your eyes and the subtle blush now on your cheeks.

You had first saw Jungkook’s wide smile and as you took a couple steps back, he got up and took a couple forward. As he came closer, your heart pounding the sound reverberating through your ears, you search his face as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Y/n, you look beautiful.”

It was the simplest compliment anyone could’ve said to you but because it came from Jungkook, it meant so much more. You couldn’t help but flourish at his genuine smile, encouraging you to finally accept how beautiful you are, true to his words.

Eye contact was a frequent occurrence this day, and it didn’t lessen any as you stood there staring into his eyes and his into yours, the proximity much closer than you expected.

The both of you snap back to reality when the pretty sales attendant clears her throat, obviously awkward in her place as her eyes shift around. You recall her earlier attempts at flirting with Jungkook, laughing a little to yourself as she clearly underestimated your relationship with him, feeling the embarrassment flood her interactions with Jungkook now especially with your presence. But not that there was any relationship between you and Jungkook anyway..the mere absurdity of the situation amusing you, you conclude.

Jungkook appears to have concluded just as much also as he also lets out a light laugh and turns towards the attendant. “Thank you for your help, we’ll take it.”

As he moves to help you with the zipper, an unexpected but not intruding gesture you realize the quick reality of the situation. Whipping around and mentally hoping the sales associate was no longer there, you whisper to Jungkook, “Wait! What do you mean take it? Jungkook I can’t afford this!” He laughs at your alarm and simply turns you around before undoing your zipper. “I’ll be waiting outside.”

Confused and even more alarmed when you finally see the exact numbers indicating the price of the dress, you feel your hands nervously shake as you gingerly place the dress on the hanger, fearful for anything to actually happen to the garment. As you step outside the changing room, Jungkook snatches the dress before you could protest and hands it to the sales attendant, swiping his black card as you stand there in silent anguish, knowing you were unable to argue with him now.

Exiting the store, Jungkook has the goofiest grin plastered on his face as he observes your reaction, ranging from your tireless attempts to walk beside his steady strides to mumbling about paying him back in installments. You don’t make much of an effort to speak while trying to catch up with him but after finally settling in the car, you start rambling on how to pay him back and how he could spend so much money on you and how dare he go around spending his money like that, speaking in terms as his secretary. You’re still talking in equal parts dismay and irritation even as you reach a red light, Jungkook’s eyebrow raising as he’s never witnessed you speak so fervently and just, so much. An idea pops into his mind and he’s grinning from ear to ear, but of course you’re oblivious because you’re still in denial at Jeon fucking Jungkook spending so much money on your ass that you’re thrown into shock beyond oblivion when he leans over and presses a kiss to your lips. That better shut her up Jungkook thinks to himself in amusement as he suppresses the smile that’s threatening to escape, concealing it with a cough and bringing his free hand to rest on his philtrum instead.

Your heart obviously can’t take anymore of this and you sit stiffly, making an effort to not make another sound or move. You glance over at Jungkook as he drives, a stupid smirk still on his face and you seriously don’t even know how to begin to comprehend the situation.

He’s still silently observing you in amusement, the way your hands are politely folded in your lap, your head positioned forward but he knows you’re taking glances at him. Jungkook mentally pinches himself for not getting to know you sooner, ultimately deciding that you were definitely someone who has his heart.

As he pulls up to your house after you gave him your address, him quietly prodding your attention to snap you out of whatever state you were currently in, your shoulders immediately release and relieve yourself of the tension you yourself created. You get out of the car and sigh as you turn towards Jungkook getting out of his car as well. He leans against the car from his side, resting his head in his arms on top of the car roof as the night wind softly blows through his hair. Something tugs at your chest and you really don’t want him to leave, upset that for the last leg of the car ride you withdrew yourself over the embarrassment that Jungkook had kissed you.

“Thank you Jungkook. For today, the dress, everything.” You softly smile, hoping to express your genuine gratitude and in some way apologizing for your immature antics after the kiss.

“I’m sorry about the kiss y/n. I didn’t mean to intrude and I don’t have any ulterior intentions either..” Jungkook offers you his most sincere smile, horribly attempting to mask the realization of utter humiliation of his actions, or even worse the consequences of what he did. He was so lost in enjoying your quirks that he failed to realize any misunderstanding of his intentions. Eyes widening, he immediately stammers to offer more of an explanation for his actions, having no actual reason besides the fact that he might be in love, finding any excuse but that.

With the both of you having an equal and fair exchange of self-actualization, embarrassment, and futile attempts to make up for any misunderstanding, you silently listen to his rambling before breaking into a larger grin, soon laughing at both of your antics. Jungkook looks on at you in confusion and so you wonder if he’d like to come in. Shifting the weight of the dress neatly packaged in the designer shopping bag, you ask him, “Um do you want to come in? For a drink or to refresh yourself?” A part of you silently hoping he agrees because you really aren’t ready for the night to end.

And so the night goes on in subtle flirting and obnoxious laughter, you pushing his chest multiple times as he teases at the other people in your office like Mr. Lee, the paralegal, who obviously has the hots for Ms. Min, the single mother lawyer who treats you like her own daughter and whom you have come to love. Competing against Jungkook’s own observations, you point out the prospects of a relationship between Moon-Hee and Dong-Hyuk, the other two lawyers of the legal team.

“No way! They’re always at each other’s throats, no way there’s something between them.”

“Okay but think about how they only tease one another, the way they vie for each other’s attention. Obviously they’re trying to get the other to notice them and they’re both so hopelessly and cluelessly in love that ultimately they resort to bullying one another.”

Jungkook contemplates your observations and slowly expresses his realization with an open-mouthed gasp. “You are such a drama queen, please Jungkook,” uncontrollably giggling at his reactions. He begins to poke at your sides as punishment for calling him out and you really can’t breathe, tapping out on his shoulder.

Jungkook stops before getting serious again, his gaze darkens as he looks at you, “Okay, but what about my brother and Mina though.” He turns sly, his eyebrow quips up as he anticipates your reaction. You nearly jump him, clutching his shoulders and settling on your knees. “OHMYGOD I KNOW RIGHT? YOU CAN SEE IT TOO?” Excitement bubbling in your outburst after finally finding a confidant about the obvious affection between your best friend and the older Jeon. Jungkook just adores your quirk and can’t help but smile. His cheeks are getting sore from all the damn smiling he’s done today but it's worth it because he really wants to show you the genuine happiness you’ve brought out of him.

The two of you ramble on about everything you’ve noticed between Mina and Junghyun, affirming your suspicions but ultimately sighing at their own stubbornness and failing to realize how they truly feel about one another. You’re glad that Mina hadn’t come home yet and you wonder if she was ironically at the office with Junghyun working over time. Eventually Jungkook leaves, and you realize you’re still smiling, if you could smile yourself to sleep that's probably what happened.

Over the course of the next week, you and Jungkook exponentially grow closer than you had over the past year. He calls you into his office more often, even for small things like if his tie was crooked or if his socks matched his pocket square. You attended more meetings with him, followed him around more, brought coffee into his office consistently while he invited you for lunch and dinner almost everyday. You became accustomed to his quirks, not just in the office but on his free time, joining him on more sunset city drives with the windows rolled down, soft music playing, or people watching from the office rooftop after you told him about that place you came to be on top of the world.

The day finally arrives and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t the least bit nervous. Like electricity surging through your veins, your fingers could barely hold steady. Slipping into the dress, your hands skim the fabric, unable to control the tick of your fingers. Mina helps you with the zipper, your nervousness apparent, as she moves your hair to spill over your shoulders and down your back, lightly squeezing your arms to turn you around. Facing the mirror once more, you force your gaze to trail from your legs up until you’ve built enough courage to look at your reflection face on. Truly the dress Jungkook chose does wonders for your legs, your dips, your curves, and most of all your confidence. As you meet your own eyes in the mirror, you can’t conceal the nostalgic sense of love for yourself that you had lost for so long. Not that the dress made you finally acknowledge your worth or beauty, but the fact that it was able to draw out those feelings you had buried. You recall Jungkook’s simple compliment and finally, your own worth and beauty were no longer marred by Hoseok’s damaging and toxic love but rather determined by your own resolve. You were in love with yourself and you couldn’t help but want to save a part of that for someone else as well.

You’re putting on the heels you borrowed from Mina when you hear her stifle a sob, her eyes glistening with tears as if she was daring them to fall.

“Don’t fucking do this to me Mina, stop it, I can’t have my girl crying like this,” as you pull her into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry y/n, you’re just so, so beautiful, and a-and brave, and I hope you wipe that fucking smirk off that dickhead’s face oh godawuehh,” she says in between sobs.

Brushing wet hair out of her face, you grab her cheeks and tell her to get her shit together.

“Min you have your date with Junghyun today, did you really forget? Sis, you can’t show up puffy and red like this even though I’m sure he’s whipped as hell for your ass regardless, but still! You have to look exceptionally pretty tonight so no. more. fucking. tears. Understood?” She carefully nods and is grateful that sometimes you wear the bigger pants around in the house. The tone in which you gave her pep talk was also your own desperate attempt to inject yourself with some confidence, to calm your own nerves.

Well screw that because the apartment buzzes and you open the door for Jungkook. He inhales a sharp breath as he takes you in, his eyes fluttering over your features, bold and elegant, defiant and radiating in his eyes. He’s at a lost for words and you help him out by softly saying “You look amazing.”

Your gaze finally settles on how your boss looks, the perfectly tailored suit flaunting his slim but built physique, the lack of bow or tie and instead the bare collar opened by a couple buttons. His hair is neatly styled except for a couple loose strands that fall the wrong way. Unhesitantly you reach up to brush it out of the way, your hand lightly skimming his dark features, his eyes, the slope of his nose, the curve of his lips open as he follows wherever your hand moves.

Ahem! Mina coughs, or clearing her throat, whatever, interrupting your moment as you quickly withdraw your hand and step back, trying not to notice the way Jungkook’s ears are furiously red.

“Oh, um these are for you Mina,” handing her a bouquet of roses. He explains that they were a pre-date gift from Junghyun and Jungkook rolls his eyes at his brother’s absolute cheese. Mina laughs before accepting them excitedly, composing herself when she realizes you and Jungkook staring.

Glancing at the imaginary watch on her arm, she rushes the two of you towards the door, making you abandon Jungkook to gather your phone and purse. When you turn back around Mina is whispering something into his ear, his face contemplating her words as his eyes widen and fear creeps into his face. As he moves away from her, clearly shaken, she pulls you into a hug instead, smiling innocently.

“Don’t worry about coming home too soon, enjoy your time my beautiful. Bye I love you.”

Finally settling into his car, your curiosity gets the best of you and you turn to ask him what exactly Mina said. He nervously glances back at your apartment building, chokes a little, and mutters something about his dick being tied into a pretty bow. You had to give credit to Mina’s creative integrity whenever it came to instilling fear in people, but certainly you pitied the boy even more so tonight. As Jungkook drives away, fear still blatantly marked across his face, you feel the same equivalence in fear as you realize the night is only beginning.

The sunlight slowly begins to diminish and Jungkook looks over at your tense figure, hands gripping the hem of your dress, knuckles white. He notices the way you chew your bottom lip, your gaze clearly lost in your own thoughts. Jungkook really does feel something for the girl next to him and reaches over, intertwining his fingers with yours. You immediately look over in surprise but the feeling of gratitude washes over you as you hold onto his hand and sink into your seat, grateful for having him by your side and maybe even falling a little into love.

Jungkook pulls up to the Grand Resort Hotel, dropping his keys off with the valet and grabbing your hand once more. Naturally, you intertwine fingers and the feeling feels like home to you. He glances at you again, offering you a mischievous smile.

“You ready to do this?”

Although your heart wants to say no, still afraid of being hurt again, still wary of the throbbing numb and the sinking feeling in your chest, you close your eyes and take a shaky breath in.

“Hell yeah let’s do this,” and with that resolve, you’re smiling right back at Jungkook, matching his quirky smile with your own, ready to get the closure you deserve.

Entering the ballroom, you grip Jungkook’s hand tighter and naturally he pulls you in closer. The room is filled with familiar faces, all the same but just a bit older as you recognize a couple people. Walking past a group of women, you feel their eyes on you as you recall the similar condescending and jealous gazes from high school. You were so intent on proving something to yourself, the resolve stemming from Hoseok that you had forgotten the other ugly parts of high school. The same girls that threw themselves at Hoseok while you guys were dating, the same girls that would speak about you to him, each and every comment laced with the intention to patronize you. Hoseok ultimately falling into their words, believing them and making them a reality. Your confidence falters and you temporarily lose sight of who you’ve become, of who you want to be. Why are you doing this stupid comeback? As if you do have something to prove to these people. What are you even doing y/n?

Jungkook senses your hesitation as you momentarily stop for absolutely no reason and he immediately concludes that it must’ve been someone you saw. His eyes scan your peripheral and they land on the very obvious, demeaning eyes of a group of girls. Jungkook sighs, understanding that whatever happened in the past is out of his control, however he’s intent on making the most of the night for you.

He steps in front of you, blocking your line of sight from whatever it was you were staring at as you were lost in your thoughts, simultaneously snapping you out of it. He places his hands on your arms gingerly and simply says, “Don’t worry about them okay? Just focus on me, me alright? I’m feeling selfish today, sorry y/n but I want your attention to be on me tonight.”

His unexpected method of saving you from your thoughts dissolves any anxiety you had earlier because now you’re only occupied with his face, occupied with his hands touching you.

“Y/n!”

“It’s her! Dude see! I told you!”

You and Jungkook snap out of your moment as you search for the source of your name. You’re immediately flooded with nostalgia and taken back to the happier times in high school. One by one the boys come to surround you, getting their fair share of hugs as you smile at Seokjin, Taehyung, and Jimin. Despite their history with Hoseok, they also had a history with you as their friend. You missed hanging out with them, going AWOL after you broke up with Hoseok. They all chastised their friend for being such a dick, taking your side by all means but choosing rather to give you the space you needed. They all loved you in their own way and you wish you could go back in time to relive the shared memories you had with them, even if that meant dating Hoseok.

Seokjin being the oldest was the best brother you always wanted but never got, period. Taehyung and Jimin were your sun and moon, revolving aspects of your day that were never complete unless they ruffled your hair and pinched your cheeks. Namjoon, who was to arrive later Seokjin explained as you immediately pouted, was your one and only advocate every time you needed someone to listen to your troubles, especially when it was about Hoseok. And finally Yoongi who Jimin pointed out was getting a drink over by the pop-up bar was the one you hung out with the most when Hoseok wasn’t around; you loved Yoongi because of his calm and quiet demeanor, something you both shared as well as your distaste in physical contact. You loved doing anything and absolutely nothing in his company, grateful for the times you were just in his company to cry about the break up.

In a blink, Yoongi was over by your side and you reached for a hug, lingering a while longer than the rest because you genuinely missed him. He eventually pushed you away with a grunt and eyed Jungkook suspiciously.

“Are you gonna introduce us or not y/n,” he stated gruffly, you knowing he was just trying to intimidate your date. But of course it worked and Jungkook took a couple steps behind you, trying to play it off. Tugging Jungkook to your side and pushing Yoongi out of the way, to which he scrunched his face in distaste which you ignored with an innocent smile, you introduce him as your date. As the guys move in to shake his hand, Yoongi clapping his back both reassuringly and threateningly, you feel yourself more at ease knowing the guys were just as happy to see you had moved on. Amidst the excited chatter with your date, everyone freezes as they gaze behind you.

“Y/n, I knew I’d see you again.” That voice. The effortlessly enticing and saccharine sound.

Closing your eyes in an attempt to brace yourself you turn around, and there he is.

“Hello Hoseok,” you say quickly forcing a compromising smile.

His eyes quickly glance between you and Jungkook to your intertwined hands, prompting Jungkook to greet him first again.

“Pleasure seeing you here Hoseok,” Jungkook merely nodding rather than extend his hand. You as well as the others witness Jungkook’s actions, a daring move that earns respect from your old friends.

Hoseok twitches in annoyance as his tongue prods at his inner cheek, studying the two of you as if waiting for the opportunity to strike. At the pulsing tension, the other guys surge forward to greet Hoseok instead, momentarily breaking the strain. While they keep Hoseok occupied, you quickly tug on Jungkook’s hand as he follows you towards the bar, averting any further stare-off between them.

The reunion banquet continues with slideshows and fun photo memoirs of the years that your class attended the school. Several embarrassing photos strewn across the hall as Jungkook whipped out his phone to snap several quick pictures for later black-mailing purposes, despite your strenuous efforts to stop him. Both of you maintain a clear distance from Hoseok, avoiding him by all means, and the guys, especially Taehyung and Jimin did a better job of keeping him away. More so, Yoongi kept you and Jungkook company, the two men getting along more than you had hoped and, to some extent you were very happy about their compatibility. After several speeches by Namjoon, former class president of course, and former teachers who you were surprised weren’t retired and living somewhere closer to God’s waiting room, you slip away to the restroom to freshen up.

Squeezing Jungkook’s arm and giving him a quick peck on his cheek while excusing yourself from the table you sat at with the guys and their own dates, you walk towards the women’s room. Before you could push open the door, a hand tightly grips your wrist and pushes you against the wall. Before you could scream out, you realize the hand belonged to Hoseok and instead your fear was replaced with annoyance and exasperation.

As you struggled to free your wrist from his hand, he simply lets go with a smirk played on his face. Yet his eyes hold yours hostage and refraining from losing you push him away. As you begin to walk back, ignoring the urge to wash your hands and spend another moment near him, he stops you with a scoff.

“Y/n, you can’t look like this. No one will ever buy into how you look like this.”

As you turn back around, your expression is completely indifferent and at peace with yourself, all remnants of fear and humiliation dispelled as you finally realize his petty desperation, the pitiful attempt to bring you down like he had done before. Your mind was made and now you had someone you needed to get back to. Looking him square in the eyes, the most self-loving and indulgent smile playing at your lips, you challenge him.

“Oh yeah Hoseok? I’m a lawyer so sue me.”

—

#bts #bts ff #jhope #jimin #jin #jungkook #rm #suga #taehyung #v #bts jungkook #bts oneshot #bts fluff #bts angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst

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thefingerfuckingfemalefury · 5 years

Text

Let’s Read Comics! With Samantha and her Girlfriend :D

Some of you may have heard of the Night Nurse, a character who kind of has two seperate versions of herself in the live action MCU thanks to the films ongoing mission to pretend nothing that happened in the Netflix shows exists

But what about her comics! self

What kind of adventures did she get into?

Well find out as me and my gf tackle what could loosely be termed “A story” of the silver age Night Nurse as she faces the Menace of Medical Malpractice in the Mighty Marvel Manner!

Me: “HELP MY LOVED ONES OR SUFFER” is definitely an interesting approach to take

My Girlfriend: I can understand why he’s so pissed off

This hospital’s OR apparently just leaves the door wide open while they’re in the middle of surgery so that any jackass can walk up to it and peer in

Me: Look they’ve got a Red Light that tells people not to just wander into the operating room what more do they need

My Girlfriend: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TAKE YOUR LOVED ONES TO COUNTY

Me: “Stop!

If you go in there your daughter will DIE!

And I mean

Probably also if you DON’T go in there

To be honest

Our head of surgery drank a fifth of rubbing alcohol before they started the operation”

Our story, for lack of a better word, begins with…

My Girlfriend: Is there a reason she walks along the street in a nurse costume?

Me: She’s actually on her way to a fancy dress party

Fun fact…she’s not even a real nurse!

She just showed up at the hospital in that outfit one day and no one questioned it

Unfortunately the cars driver has Gotta Go Fast and it proceeds to smack right into the luckless pedestrian, sending her flailing to the ground as a horrified Night Nurse looks on

“That car hit her…HARD!”

Me: So helpful of her to let us know this

I mean it’s not like this is a visual medium or anything

My Girlfriend: If it weren’t for her useful narration we might have assumed that it was a soft impact that snapped this girls spine in two

She muses that she didn’t see the registration but she will never forget it was “A Cadillac…DEEP GREEN!”

Me: And how many of THOSE can there be in a city of a few million people

My Girlfriend: Somewhere in Gotham the Batman bitterly thinks to himself “One day…One Day I shall be as good a detective as the Night Nurse!”

Me: It’s not much of a risk given that you need to be ALIVE to sue someone

So I don’t think that girl will be taking anyone to court any time soon

My Girlfriend: He didn’t see she was a nurse

Despite the fact she’s wearing a bright white nurses uniform

Me: To be fair if I saw someone randomly wearing that outfit on the street my initial guesses would range from Bachelorette night out to Naughty Costume Party

Before long an ambulance has nyoom-ed to the scene and as the girl is wheeled onto it the cop apologises for any “Smarting off” he did declaring the Night Nurse to be “Real good in an emergency!”

“I just did what’s second nature to any nurse!”

Me: “Bitten by a Radioactive Nurse while attending a midtown nursing Convention, mild mannered Linda Carter was blessed with the amazing abilities of First Aid Training and a photographic memory for the colour of cars!”

My Girlfriend: “She has made a vow to use these powers for justice which she often keeps”

My Girlfriend: An all points bulletin for…WHAT exactly?

“Suspect could be male or female, black or white, young old or elderly!

There height is somewhere between short, medium or tall!

They may or may not have any identifying facial or bodily scars or tattoos!

Suspect is driving a green car!

Repeat: THE CAR IS GREEN”

Me: With a detailed description like that, they’ll have this scumbag behind bars in no time!

My Girlfriend: “YOUR TAX DOLLARS HARD AT WORK”

While in the ambulance, Linda the Night Nurse has them page the doctor on call while soothingly offering a “Lie still child” to the hit and run victim

Me: I don’t think she has much choice in the matter at this point…

As the girl is wheeled in one of the doctors muses that “Most hit and run victims aren’t this lucky…to be brought in this fast!”

My Girlfriend: I bet she feels so fortunate

Me: Everyone dreams of such fabulous good luck coming there way

My Girlfriend: “Her bones might have been pureed by an oncoming car but she’s got the NIGHT NURSE looking after her!”

My Girlfriend: Because it’s always a great idea to be sleep deprived while working a job in which peoples lives literally depend upon you

Me: The doctor in the background looks so disappointed that the perfect chance to declare “THIS IS SPINAL TAP” just passed them by

My Girlfriend: You have to find humour in the workplace no matter what your job

Me: I guess someone told this guy that this hospital is a place where diagnoses of severe spinal trauma are made after shining an itty bitty light into the patients eyes

My Girlfriend: “MISS GREELEY IS TO BE IMMEDIATELY TRANSFERRED TO A PRIVATE HOSPITAL WHERE SHE WON’T BE SURROUNDED BY POOR PEOPLE!”

Me: He is outraged

OUTRAGED

That his daughter might be being treated by a doctor who makes less than several hundred thousand dollars a year

My Girlfriend: “I DON’T SEE A SINGLE MEMBER OF MY COUNTRY CLUB EMPLOYED AT THIS HOSPITAL

WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS”

The increasingly-close-to-a-heart-attack Greeley demands that his daughter be moved somewhere where the family’s private surgeon, William Sutton can see to her

However the doctor on call only somewhat smugly tells the blustering chief of police that

A) Moving his daughter would KILL her

And

B) William Sutton is on the medical board at this very hospital and he can be called in

My Girlfriend: The moral of this story is that if you just show up and shout at everyone then somehow, against all narrative logic, you will get your way

Me: A methodology employed by thousands of drunken british tourists at Ibiza clubs every single year

To somewhat less success

My Girlfriend: Also the cover told us he was going to barge in during his daughters surgery

That’s

Not what happened

Me: THAT COVER WAS FULL OF LIIIIEEESSSSSSS

Me: Fenton doesn’t seem at all concerned that the nurses apparently called Vincent Price by mistake

My Girlfriend: To his credit he seems more than willing to give it his best shot

Me: “I played the Abominable Dr Phibes in a movie once

He wasn’t a MEDICAL doctor perse but still”

My Girlfriend: He’s probably still more qualified than Dr Pen Light from earlier

Sutton gets ready to perform the surgery declaring “I’d like a couple of additional Scrub Nurses!”

Me: Wouldn’t we all…

My Girlfriend: Don’t make me get the spray bottle Samantha

Linda Carter aka The Night Nurse and her friend Christine Palmer aka The Redhead From Earlier assist with the surgery while a dreamy eyed Chris thinks to herself how she “Never knew how much I could love surgery!” until she met Dr Sutton

Me: Maybe wait until the gaping hole in the patient is sewn up before you get all heart-eyed Chris?

My Girlfriend: “The way he looks surrounded by the glow of the operating room lights…the confident way he moves as he performs major life saving surgery on the bloody and broken form of this hit and run victim…”

Me: That’s how every kid dreams of hearing their parents fell in love…their eyes locking as they gaze at each over the barely breathing body of the person they’re performing surgery on together

My Girlfriend: “he’s so handsome I barely even noticed when the patient flatlined…”

Me: “NOW I AM THE NIGHT NURSE”

My Girlfriend: Fighter of the Day Nurse

Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

My Girlfriend: Champion of the Sun

Sutton corners Chris and asks her why she was never assigned to him during training

Me: “Well it was partly because it was around the time those ALLEGATIONS were going around…”

“Let’s just say I wasn’t one of Metro’s most outstanding students”

“I find that difficult to believe…your certainly one of the most OUTSTANDING nurses I’ve ever worked with”

Me: WINK WONK

My Girlfriend: NUDGE NUDGE

WINK WINK

SAY NO MORE

Me: Chris is wondering why for some reason she can hear an odd “BOW CHICKA WOW WOW” instrumental playing from nowhere

Sutton continues to pile on the oily charm talking about how he needs a “Bright young nurse” to be his “Special assistant”

My Girlfriend: This is going to turn into a Lifetime movie in a big hurry isn’t it

Me: You have no idea how right you are

My Girlfriend: I am going to hate how right I am

So while Dr Feelgood here is ignoring what he was taught at that Sexual Harassment in the Workplace seminar, what’s the actual main character of the comic doing?

My Girlfriend: Apparently the life of a nurse at a general hospital involves a lot more gunfights than I would have expected

Me: Turns out Garth Marenghi was closer to the truth than we ever guessed about what life working on a hospital ward is like

My Girlfriend: “Sometimes one is backed into a corner…where the only way out of that corner…is with a gun”

Me: The best part is that apparently he was WRONG about the fact that two nurses wouldn’t be able to stop him

I guess a nursing degree makes your skin bulletproof or something

My Girlfriend: No the BEST part is how apparently you cannot be a wife AND a nurse at the same time

Me: I’m sure all the happily married nurses out there whose husbands AREN’T complete douchebags will be shocked to learn this news

My Girlfriend: They will file for divorce immediately in light of this revelation

Me: “I can’t marry an accomplished and intelligent woman with a successful career!

WHAT WOULD THE NEIGHBOURS SAY”

Linda is woken from this trip down the Muggers Alley that is her memory lane by her other roommate Georgia Jenkins arriving home, explaining she was just at the courthouse where her brother Ben is “In a heap of trouble for getting mixed up in Rocky’s crazy plan”

My Girlfriend: “What with the double homicide and all”

Me: “That brother of mine

Always getting some fool idea in his head

Like blackmailing the city and being an accessory to the murder of two security guards”

My Girlfriend: he’s a little dickens is what he is

Me: “If it wasn’t for Night work we’d have to change the title of this book to just Nurse”

My Girlfriend: And that would be RIDICULOUS

Me: Georgia sure is chipper about her brother getting locked up as well

My Girlfriend: “I’ll let you know if they set a date for the execution today!”

We follow Chris during her first day working with Dr Sutton as he explains some of her duties, adding that she’ll be the “Number One Scrub Nurse in the Operating Room”

My Girlfriend: I hope to god that’s not a euphemism for something

Me: Chris isn’t entirely sure why the guided tour of Sutton’s office included a stop at his Little Red Playroom but she’s sure there’s a perfectly reasonable and professional explanation for it

Soon Sutton is inviting her out to dinner with him while he paws at her and purrs “Christine…that’s a lovely name” in her ear

Me: Nothing turns her on more than an old man perving over her

My Girlfriend: His Rhett Butler moustache and the way he’s old enough to be her father light a fire in her soul

The following day after her date with the Sleazy Surgeon Sutton…

Me: Actually he’s going to ask that she quits fortune telling and quit disgracing millions of palm readers

My Girlfriend: God damn it Samantha

And so the next day Christine and her father meet with Dear Old Papa noting she “Looks well…which is surprising given the circumstances you must work under!”

My Girlfriend: “I mean I heard that your hospital diagnoses spinal injuries by shining a LIGHT in peoples eyes for gods sakes”

Me: “Still at least I can comfort myself knowing your boss isn’t some kind of sexual predator or anything”

The conversation quickly turns to an argument with Chris defending her choice of career while her father pleads with her to “Come home…think of your aunts and uncles…think of your dear mother…what she’d think if…”

Me: “THINK HOW ASHAMED SHE’D BE THAT HER DAUGHTER IS PURSUING A SUCCESFUL CAREER

In which she helps countless people every day!”

My Girlfriend: “Your bringing such disgrace to the family name by not just sitting around spending your inheritance money”

Me: Imagine the shame

THE HORROR

Of having a NURSE in the family

My Girlfriend: Whenever anyone asks they always tell people their daughter ran away and joined the circus

Or is on death row after a spree killing

Me: Anything to hide the AWFUL TRUTH that she’s HELPING people

My Girlfriend: “Give up a promising career in medicine and become a shiftless layabout who just drinks and parties all day and night OR YOUR OUT OF THE FAMILY”

Me: Who wouldn’t disown their own child for doing something as shocking and immoral as healing the sick and the injured

Just

SHAMEFUL

Me: Boy I sure hope that the fact she has a strained relationship with her father

Doesn’t play any part in her decision to date a man the same age as him

My Girlfriend: It’s almost as if there were some kind of issues at work here

Me: YES BUT WHAT KIND

And the next day while Chris tries to talk to Dr Sutton about these “Rather large drug requisitions”

My Girlfriend: “Why does the hospital need several dozen kilos of cocaine anyway?”

Me: “And what’s this plane ticket to Columbia for?”

Dr Sutton brushes her off and says he’s needed in surgery to which a worried Chris notes he seems rather faint…he reassures her it’s “Simply the remnants of a lost weekend my dear…I had no one to count my drinks!”

Me: WELL I FEEL SO MUCH MORE REASSURED NOW

My Girlfriend: “Not to worry my dear!

I’m simply hungover from a weekend of non-stop binge drinking!”

Me: “I’ve had some hair of the dog a few minutes ago though so I am more than capable of performing surgery!”

The surgery goes mostly fine apart from Sutton dropping a knife from his trembling hands which Chris says nothing about because words like “Malpractice Suit” and “Manslaughter due to professional negligence” mean nothing to her

And afterwards

Me: “I’m only an alcoholic because I’m lonely!

COME TO DINNER WITH ME

And maybe I won’t nearly kill the next patient I operate on”

My Girlfriend: Though given that Chris is willing to cover up the fact that Sutton is pickling his liver to the point that he nearly dropped a knife into an open patient is she really any better than he is?

Me: NO ONE comes out of this situation looking great

Maybe this kind of thing is why her father wants her to quit medicine

My Girlfriend: “I’m just worried that you’ll be emotionally pressured into a relationship with an alcoholic older man!”

Me: “As if that could ever happen AHAHAHAHAHAHA”

To her dubious credit when they go out to dinner Christine does note that she doesn’t want to think of herself as just a Depression Cure Sutton Can Have Sex With but he assures her he “Needs her in so many ways!”

Me: “I don’t JUST want to sexually harass you

I also need you to cover up my many drunken errors during surgery!”

My Girlfriend: “Your not just a girlfriend to me Christine, your also an alibi”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you!”

“For one thing you’d have to hassle with the pharmacy for all those prescriptions you write! They really are excessive!”

Me: HMMMMMMMMM

I wonder why

He might be writing excessive prescriptions

My Girlfriend: I’m sure it’s nothing for her to worry about

I mean it’s not like he’s shown ANY signs of having any kind of substance abuse problems

Me: Your right I’m probably worrying over nothing

He said his eyes were that red because he rubbed them too much and who are we to doubt him

Sutton suggests that Chris redistribute them among her residents, noting that a little “Juggling of the figures” surely couldn’t hurt…

My Girlfriend: “I mean it’s not like its ILLEGAL or anything”

Me: If you can’t commit the odd felony or two to help your partner out then what kind of relationship are you even in

However the Night Nurse is soon on the case, telling Chris that she saw the prescription books in her room last night and demanding to know why she’s keeping false records

My Girlfriend: Better question: Why was she in Chris’s room

Me: Babe…they’re roommates

My Girlfriend: OH MY GOD THEY’RE ROOMMATES

Chris angrily tells her Gal Pal Linda that a surgeon of Sutton’s “Prestige” shouldn’t be “Stigmatised” just because the chief of staff thinks he’s being wasteful with prescriptions and supplies

My Girlfriend: “I won’t let such a brilliant surgeon be railroaded just because he’s a drug dealing junkie”

Me: She can’t stand idly by and let his career be destroyed just because he’s a pill popping drunk whose been robbing the hospital blind for months now

My Girlfriend: What would the hospital do without him?

Me: PROBABLY “Lose” fewer prescription pads

This conversational trainwreck is interrupted by…

Me: HMMMMMMMM

WHERE COULD IT HAVE GONE I WONDER

My Girlfriend: AND WHO COULD HAVE TAKEN IT

Me: if only the narrative would provide us with some kind of CLUE as to what may have happened here

My Girlfriend: It’s a puzzle worthy of Lost alright

Jack and Linda go for coffee on the hospitals ROOFTOP GARDEN!!!!!

Me: What the hell kind of hospital IS THIS exactly?

My Girlfriend: Apparently the kind with what looks like a rooftop restaurant complete with sunchairs and parasols

Me: I can’t help but wonder if having a rooftop bar at this hospital might have played a part in Dr Sutton’s drinking habit

It turns out Jack doesn’t have too high of an opinion of Sutton and asks Linda hers which she would “Rather not say just yet…”

But he takes this as a cue to share some of his thoughts on good old Doc Gonzo here

My Girlfriend: I love Linda’s little “GASP!” here

Linda

The man’s an alcoholic engaged in fraud, why is this shocking to you

Me: “If only successful surgeons weren’t completely above the law, I could maybe report some of these concerns to someone”

My Girlfriend: Though perhaps we’re missing the part where apparently these two still haven’t figured out what’s going on with Sutton despite the clues so large Mr Magoo could see them

Me: “You and I have to get to the bottom of this!

Let’s see

Sutton constantly talks about how much he drinks

He orders excessive amounts of drugs

Our own order pads go missing and then turn up with MORE orders for drugs we never wrote in them

Any other clues we’re missing here?”

Me: “Nothing comes to mind

Apart from the fact my roommate is helping him fake records so he can get his hands on EVEN MORE DRUGS”

My Girlfriend: “Well I don’t know about you but I’m stumped”

Me: “If only there was something

Some tiny scrap of evidence

That might hint at what Sutton’s up to”

So while these Worthy Successors to the Mantle of Sherlock and Watson try and solve this and other Devilish Mysteries like “Who was Keyser Soze?” and “Who DID shoot Mr Burns?” we cut to where Chris and Sutton are leaving one of the few restaurants he’s not yet been banned for life from when he stumbles trying to get into his car leading a nervous Chris to note he surely didn’t have THAT much to drink

Me: “At dinner?

At lunch, brunch, breakfast and elevenses on the other hand…”

My Girlfriend: And you don’t even want to know how much he drank at Second Breakfast

Chris pleads that he let her drive but Sutton shuts her down with a snarled “NONSENSE!”

My Girlfriend: Well as long as he’s got an ironclad counter argument like that

Me: “A woman!

Drive a car!

WHAT AN IDEA”

My Girlfriend: “Next you’ll want to vote!”

Me: But it turns out (Shocker of shockers) the guy who can’t even step off a sidewalk without nearly flopping face first to the ground

And so…

My Girlfriend: I genuinely love the look of NAKED TERROR the artist gave both of them here

Me: Sutton’s expression is the face of a man who knows exactly what is in his bloodstream right now and how things will go if he is given a drug test

While Chris’s expression is the face of a woman seeing a man make a face like that

My Girlfriend: THAT’S REAL FEAR IN HER EYES THERE

That

Or she’s just horrified that Sutton refuses to leave his insurance information

Me: “HOW CAN I LOVE A MAN WHO COMMITS SUCH A SOCIAL FAUX PAS”

Sutton tells Chris to “Forget about it like a good little…”

Me: I don’t want to know what he was going to call her

My Girlfriend: ALL THE OPTIONS ARE TERRIBLE

But interrupted he is mercifully by the news that “The Greely Girl” has taken a turn for the worse!

My Girlfriend: Maybe if he hadn’t crushed and snorted most of the medication she was supposed to be receiving up his nose…

Me: Are you suggesting she’s been receiving anything less than Competent and Skilled Medical Care

Me: I love how the writer somehow thinks they might have been Too Subtle about what Sutton’s deal is and decides to just straight up have him start GUZZLING FROM A HIP FLASK here

My Girlfriend: I love how apparently Sutton can diagnose a patients problems and the correct way to treat them through Long Range Mental Telepathy or Astral Projection

Because I don’t see how else he could know all of this and what to do about it from several miles away

Me: The heady combination of booze and pills have given him MUTANT POWERS

My Girlfriend: He’s going to get liquored up in a world that hates and fears him

Me: THIS

IS SUCH A PERFECT SEQUENCE

I just

Genuinely love it

My Girlfriend: Her “Oh my fucking god he can’t even handle a watch strap THIS MAN IS GOING TO BE PERFORMING SURGERY SOON” face is

So beautifully drawn

Me: “THAT GIRL IS GOING TO DIE”

My Girlfriend: And like everyone with a secret addiction, Sutton just starts wolfing down pills right in front of a witness

Me: Are we sure their pills?

The way he’s OM NOM NOM-ing those things I think they could be pez

My Girlfriend: Pez…the most shameful of addictions

Me: Chris is horrified because he didn’t even OFFER to share

Chris makes one last desperate attempt to appeal to whatever common sense Sutton has left and pleads with him that he can’t POSSIBLY do the operation…

Sutton’s response?

“LET ME GO YOU LITTLE FOOL!

And stop your raving!”

Me: “I’m in no mood for raving!

NOT UNTIL THOSE PILLS KICK IN ANYWAY”

My Girlfriend: Then he’ll be down for raving all night

So how do things go?

WELL

Me: I mean she could have actually come forward with what she knew and insisted someone else perform the surgery but sure

Just

Refusing to watch it is almost as good

My Girlfriend: “It’s in gods hands now

Gods and Dr Sutton’s incredibly shaky hands”

Me: “THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS THOUGH”

My Girlfriend: “That’s just as good as actually doing something to make things better right?”

Me: “I mean all those Republicans on twitter certainly seem to think so

And how could they be wrong?”

So while Chris finds some sand to bury her head in, we cut to Two Fisted Nursing Detectives Linda Carter and Jack Tyron on their way to do some sleuthing!

Jack has doubts about investigating Sutton, noting they have “No evidence…only suspicions”

Me: Sure no evidence

Apart from how they know for a fact that he’s been having Chris fiddle the figures with his drug prescriptions to cover up his malpractice

My Girlfriend: Or the fact that he keeps a hip flask full of his old pal Jack Daniels to swig from at all times

Me: But yeah other than his self confessed drinking problem and the fact he’s been swiping enough pills to put down Johnny Depp they have NO EVIDENCE

The two just kind of…SHOW UP at Sutton’s house and Dr Tyron tells his put upon manservant that he needs to talk to him urgently…so said butler to the bug-eyed just kind of…lets them in

And then lets them wander around unsupervised

Me: So I guess THAT guy is getting fired tomorrow

My Girlfriend: Were people in the sixties really this trusting?

“Oh sure come on in

I’ll just let you wander around this mansion full of expensive things making no effort to watch what you do while here”

Me: Maybe he thinks these two are Sutton’s dealers and he’s just worried if he stands between them and the money they’re owed he’s going to be exiting this mansion minus some thumbs

That or he’s been helping himself to Sutton’s “Stash” and is feeling very very “Relaxed” right now

“Just take a look at all that liquor!” a horrified Linda notes as they begin their snooping

Me: “it’s almost like he had some kind of drinking problem!”

My Girlfriend: “Dr Sutton?

A drinking problem?

SURELY NOT”

Me: “What does he do with them”

“WHAT DOES HE DO WITH THEM”

“W H A T D O E S H E D O W I T H T H E M”

My Girlfriend: “Maybe he’s folding them up and making paper aeroplanes!”

Me: “Maybe he has a compulsion to steal prescription pads and order things from them!”

My Girlfriend: “Maybe he’s using them in some kind of very avant garde piece of modern art he’s working to assemble”

Me: “Or maybe

Just maybe

HE’S A FRICKING JUNKIE YOU PAIR OF RIDICULOUS NITWITS”

My Girlfriend: I realise neither of these characters are trained detectives

But when you find a home full of liquor bottles, stolen prescription pads and misappropriated bottles of pills

Is it really

REALLY SO HARD

To work out what is going on

Me: I have a feeling that Linda and Jack here sit through a Columbo episode from beginning to end wondering “”WHO COULD THE MURDERER BE”

But what Horrifying New Horror has Linda uncovered?

Namely that Dr Sutton took his car to be repaired the same night Betsy Greeley (Last seen being used as a human game of operation by Sutton) and that his car is…waiiiiiittttt for it

A DARK GREEN CADILLAC!

“HE’S THE HIT AND RUN DRIVER!”

Me: OH THE CRUEL AND BITTER IRONY OF IT ALL

WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED SUCH A CONTRIVED TURN OF FATE

My Girlfriend: What are the odds!

No really

The odds against this are ASTRONOMICAL

Me: Also

THIS is the piece of evidence that actually makes something in Linda’s brain click into place?

Not the stolen pills

Not the booze

Not the prescription pads

But the fact Sutton’s car is green and damaged just like the car that hit Betsy

THAT is her eureka moment

My Girlfriend: “I WONDER WHY HE WAS GOING SO FAST WHEN HE HIT HER

Almost like his mind was under the influence of something

BUT WHAT”

“Come on Linda!” a determined Jack declares, saying they need to find Linda’s friend Chris

“I don’t know what exactly Sutton is involved in…”

Me: Are you

Fucking

Kidding me

Right now

My Girlfriend: “It will take a deductive genius to work out what Sutton could POSSIBLY be involved it but I have the Strange Feeling it might be something illegal!”

The two get back to Linda’s place to find Chris waiting for them, obviously distraught…but before they can make her night worse a phone rings with Chris getting news about some kind of “Complications” with the surgery Betsy Greely just had…

Me: “If by complications you mean that at one point Dr Sutton removed one of her lungs and tried to snort it then yes, there were complications”

My Girlfriend: “We had an inkling the surgery might go somewhat badly when we realised Dr Sutton was performing the surgery with a plastic knife and fork from the hospital cafeteria”

My Girlfriend: “Bill, a bad driver?

I DON’T BELIEVE YOU

It’s not like I just saw him sideswipe a parked car while chugging booze at the wheel”

Me: “Dr Sutton would never just leave the scene of an accident he caused to get away with it!

Apart from that time he did that exact thing, less than a day ago and I saw him do it

BUT THAT WAS A ONE TIME THING PROBABLY”

As the three head to a “Hastily called inquest”…

Me: if anything I think this inquest should have been called LONG before

My Girlfriend: I think around the time he began cheerfully talking about being hungover while he performed surgery would have been a good time to call an inquest

Chris reacts with shock to how they found drugs in Sutton’s home, insisting that he swore to her that that medicine was for his patients

“He’ll have an explanation…I know he will!”

Me: The “Explanation” is that he’s been popping pills like they were tic tacs for months and you LITERALLY SAW HIM DO THIS

My Girlfriend: Apparently hiding the fact you were a drug addict was REALLY easy back in the seventies

Which explains a lot about the seventies come to think of it

The inquest gets underway with an elderly gent declaring he’s “Sorry to have called you all here at this late hour…”

Me: “I’ve gathered you all here in the Accusing Parlour…”

Me: She can hear you both, you know that right guys?

My Girlfriend: At least wait until she’s out of earshot to start talking shit about her

Sutton wants Chris to leave out a few details should the inquest ask about them like the fact he’s so stoned his eyeballs are literally rattling around in their sockets but Chris angrily replies that he “Murdered that girl, as surely as if you held a gun!”

My Girlfriend: “Hmmmmmm

A GUN you say…

Yes that could solve all my problems…”

Me: “I mean I wasn’t the ONLY ONE who was hammered in that operating theatre”

My Girlfriend: “The truth is that I took the whole lot of them out for pitchers of margaritas this afternoon

You were the only one in that OR who WASN’T good and plastered”

Me: “Not to mention I’ve been “Sharing the wealth” when it comes to my pilfered pills with the other residents for YEARS now”

Me: THE NIGHT NURSE JUDGES YOU IN SILENT DISAPROVAL

SHE SEES YOU VILLAIN

SHE SEES UR CRIME

My Girlfriend: “You know what I have to do”

She doesn’t HAVE to do anything

I know what she SHOULD do which is “Stop a dangerous incompetent from practicing medicine”

Me: But then she won’t have a BOYFRIEND anymore

My Girlfriend: Your right clearly Chris having the chance to have sex with a man old enough to be her dad is far more important than stopping more innocent deaths at this mans ever trembling hands

Sutton, sweating through that fancy suit of his, insists that this is a conspiracy of “Incompetent residents” to defame him…something that Christine tries to go along with at first

But, with the memory of the Cold Implacable Stare of Night Nurse no doubt fresh in her mind…

Me: “THEY ARE ALL AGAINST ME!

I KNOW THEY ARE!

Uh…not that I’ve been taking anything that makes you PARANOID or anything”

My Girlfriend: Why was he stealing equipment though?

Me: I’m guessing at this point his body has built up such a tolerance to the uppers and downers that the only thing that gives him a kick at this point is using a defibrillator on himself

When who should burst in but…

My Girlfriend: Oh my god who let JR Ewing in here?

Me: More to the point how does he know what’s going on when he only just showed up?

Fenton Greely tries to throttle the Stoned Sawbones while yelling how his daughter is “DEAD! YOU HEAR ME! DEAD!”

Me: He knows dude

He was the one who killed her after all

My Girlfriend: TOO SOON SAMANTHA

Night Nurse brings up what she and Dr Tyron found in Sutton’s apartment and the Full Truth Comes Out

Me: “AND THEN I SPENT ALL THAT MONEY ON OPIUM

Oh what I wouldn’t do to get that money back…

TO SPEND ON MORE OPIUM!”

My Girlfriend: “Really I’m the victim here

If my hands weren’t so shaky I wouldn’t need to have done any of this”

Me: “And why are your hands so shaky?”

My Girlfriend: “Oh, because I’m a day drinker”

“I was driving home…my hands began to tremble…and lord help me…I HIT BETSY GREELY!”

Me: DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN

My Girlfriend: Samantha we already knew this

Me: I know but I wanted to be dramatic

Sutton declares that now the charade is over it’s “Almost a relief”

Me: “But in another way it’s MOST UNWELCOME”

He promises to keep Chris out of all this as she just…strolls away

My Girlfriend: So is she going to face

ANY repurcussions

To the fact she forged hospital records and covered up the fact that Sutton was a dangerous alcoholic?

Me: DON’T BE SILLY

What’s important is that she learned her lesson

Sort of

So it all worked out alright

My Girlfriend: Except for that girl whose still very very dead

Me: Well yes

My Girlfriend: And who knows how many addicts on the street who will have their lives shattered thanks to Chris helping Sutton deal pills to them

Me: Okay apart from them

My Girlfriend: And the police chief who now has to bury his only child

Me: Look I never said it was a HAPPY ending

And so our tale comes to an end

Me: Well at least Linda has a new love interest

My Girlfriend: Right up until this one also decides “You can be a nurse or my wife…BUT NOT BOTH”

Me: YES UNTIL THEN

Final Thoughts

Me: I feel like we need to come up with other mysteries that the brilliant deductive minds of Linda “What are all these liquor bottles doing here” Carter and Jack “Boy this guy sure has a lot of stolen pill bottles and prescription pads…what does he DO with them?” Tyron could solve in their spare time

My Girlfriend: Night Nurse and Jack Tyron in the Case of Where Does The Sun Keep Disappearing to at Night

Me: Night Nurse and Jack Tyron in the Case of The Missing Sweater That Looks Just Like The Sweater My Roommate is Wearing That She Insists she Bought This Morning and it Definitely Isn’t Mine

My Girlfriend: Night Nurse Investigates: Why have those two Close Gal Pals who live in the apartment next door never found themselves husbands?

Me: That sounds like an investigation that might help Linda learn some things about HERSELF as well

My Girlfriend: And about Chris come to think of it >.>

#Let's Read Comics #Marvel #Night Nurse #Comics

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randomrichards · 6 years

Text

THE BEST MOVIE MOMENTS OF 2018:

HONORABLE MENTION:

The Opening/Closing Credits from BUDDIES

I’m putting this as honorable mention because this is an older movie recently rereleased.

The first film about the AIDS Crisis, Buddies strikes at the heart with its opening credits with a typed list of AIDS victim up to 1985. Set to a mournful score by Jeffrey Olmstead, the never ending list of lives cut short puts you in tears.

Alex Honnold faces Boulder Problem in FREE SOLO

Most thrillers can only wish they could be as gripping as in the moment when Alex Honnold maneuver’s his way through the most challenging section of El Capitan Wall without rope in this Documentary.

Ray Offers Wisdom from Mid90s

“If you looked in anybody else’s closet, you wouldn’t trade your shit for their shit.”

Ray (Na-kel Smith) and his friends may not be the best role models for the impressionable Stevie (Sunny Suljic), but in this moment, Ray teaches him a lesson in perspective.

Glenn Close’s performance in THE WIFE

I’m not referring to any moment. Just Glenn Close’s acting. She speaks more volumes with her face than most actresses could with dialogue.

10) The Beach Scene from ROMA

Cleo (Yalitza Aparicio) is an extraordinary woman. Sure, her life hanging towels and cleaning dog poo doesn’t seem like anything special. But like many lower working-class people, she endures. Boy does she endure a lot of shit in this movie. Not only does her deadbeat boyfriend ditch her to practice martial arts, but her baby is born dead. Despite all this, she not only continues her work, but she shares a close bond with the family. She showcases this bond and her strength when a fun day at the beach goes horribly wrong.

When Paco (Carlos Peralta) and Sofi (Daniela Demesa) swim too far out, Cleo walks into the ocean to save them despite not knowing how to swim. We watch in dread as she faces severe waves to find the kids, the camera always close to her.

This scene also contains a beautiful scene of the family hugging Cleo when she tears up over losing her baby. Seeing them all huddled together in front of a bright white sun captures the heart.

9) “A Place Called Slaughter Race” from RALPH BREAKS THE INTERNET

Admit it, it’s fun to take pot shots at Disney Tropes. Hell, even Disney gets in on the fun. And boy do they seize on every moment to mock Princess tropes when Vanellope Von Shweetz (voiced by Sarah Silverman) encounters the Disney Princesses. Of course, it helps that Director Rich Moore and Head of Story Jim Reardon creates some of the best episodes of the Simpsons. Though there are many hilarious moments[1], none can hold the candle to Vanellope’s “I Want” song.

As she reflects over a puddle, Vanellope sings about her longing to be in the gritty game “Slaughter Race.” Seeing this little girl perform this lighthearted musical number over a background of riots and dumpster fires is comedy gold. Nearly every element of this number elevates the comedy, from singing shark (with cats and dogs in its mouth) to the creative lyrics (“Am I a baby pigeon spreading wings to soar?/ Is that a metaphor?/Hey, there’s a dollar store”). And the number still finds time to emphasize Vanellope’s fear of hurting Ralph (John. C Reilly).

Kudos to Alan Menken for mocking the trope he (and the late Howard Ashman) introduced to Disney. Just as deserving of Kudos is Silverman, who faced to task of singing in Vanellope’s high pitched voice.

8) Charlie Loses Her Head from HEREDITARY

With her unusual hobbies, connection to her late grandmother and that clicking sound, you’d assume Annie’s (Toni Collette) daughter Charlie (Milly Shapiro) would be the centre of the whole film.[2] Boy, were we in for a surprise.

Spoilers!

When Charlie suffers a peanut allergy reaction, Peter (Alex Wolfe) races her home. On his drive, he sees a mysterious figure in the middle of the dark road. In his attempt to dodge it, he doesn’t see Charlie hanging out the window. Seeing her head slam right into a pole leaves us as traumatized as Peter is. To see them kill off a main character so early in the film is downright shocking. With this death, predictability goes right out the window and we are left uncertain of what direction this film will go.

7) Neil Armstrong Soars in the X-15 Rocket Plane in FIRST MAN

It’s funny how the most exciting scene in this film isn’t the moon landing. Don’t get me wrong, the scene’s still breathtaking in its realism, but it’s surprising how thrilling the opening scene.

Damien Chazelle hits the ground running with Neil Armstrong (Ryan Gosling) soaring the atmosphere in an X-15 Rocket Plane. He soars higher and higher into the skies until he flies out of earth’s surface and gets stuck in space

Albeit, you know he will be back on earth in time for the moon landing. And yet, I found myself on the edge of my seat, wondering how he’s going to get back to earth. Most of it is thanks to the visual effects, which contains some of the most believable since 2001: A Space Odyssey. The effects leave CGI in the dust with practical effects that look so real, you’d think Gosling was actually flying into space.

6) The Ferris Wheel Scene from LOVE, SIMON

High School Movies are home to many unforgettable romantic scenes. There’s Samantha (Molly Ringwald) and Jake (Michael Schoeffling) standing over a birthday cake in Sixteen Candles. There’s Patrick (Heath Ledger) singing to Katarina (Julia Stiles) on the bleachers in 10 Things I hate About You. And who can forget Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack) blaring Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” outside Diane Court’s (Ione Skye) in Say Anything. Be ready to include the closing scene of Simon (Nick Robinson) waiting on the Ferris wheel for online pen pal Blue from Love, Simon.

After being outed by a student, infuriating his friends for deceiving them in his attempt to stay closeted and abandoned by Blue, Simon makes a plea to meet with Blue face to face on the Ferris Wheel at a carnival. As he rides on the Ferris Wheel, he, fellow classmates and the audience wait in anticipation for Simon’s happy ending.

5) The Book Heist from AMERICAN ANIMALS

When Spencer Reinhard (Barry Keoghan) and Warren Lipka (Evan Peters) plotted to steal extremely valuable books from the Transylvania University library in Kentucky, they thought they had the perfect heist. With the help of their friends Erick Borsuk (Jared Abrahamson) and Chas Allen (Blake Jenner), they thought they pull off a heist as smooth as Oceans 11.[3]

But reality hits them like a sledge hammer when they try to pull off the heist. Unlike their dreams, Librarian Betty Jean Gooch (Ann Dowd) doesn’t get knocked out with one taser jolt. It also isn’t easy to lug a six-foot book down a flight of stairs. Then there’s the fact the basement has no exit. That’s just a few of many problems they never consider. From then on, we witness them pay a huge price for their hubris and lack of real-world understanding.

Only youths as smart as they are to come up with such a stupid plan.

4) The Mutant Bear from ANNIHILATION

Biologist Lena (Natalie Portman) and her team find themselves in a quite a bind. After entering the Shimmer, physicist Josie Radek (Tessa Thompson) has barely survived an attack from a mutant alligator and Anthropologist Cassie Sheppard (Tuva Novotny) has been attacked by a bear. Now paramedic Anya Thorensen (Gina Rodriguez) has gone mad and has tied up Lena, Radek and Dr. Ventress (Jennifer Jason Leigh). But when they hear Sheppard’s cries for help, they will soon find Anya is the least of their worries.

Their journey delivers many grotesque, nightmare inducing visuals (especially the slithering intestines.) But the most memorable moment in this film was the image of the helpless crew trapped in a cabin with a mutant bear. Bears are scary enough on their own, but a faceless one is pants spitting meeting. And then you hear it imitate Sheppard’s screams and suddenly you need a new pair of pants.

3) The Great Snap from AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR

The whole Marvel Cinematic Universe had been leading up to this moment. The fact that nearly every character had a moment to shine in this one movie demonstrates the astounding direction of the Russo Brothers. But despite all the epic fight scenes, everyone agrees that this film’s greatest scene is the heroes moment of defeat.

Despite every effort made to stop in, despite outnumbering Thanos and despite Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) sacrificing Vision (Paul Bettany) to destroy the mind stone, Thanos still got all the infinity stones. And with a single snap, Thanos succeeds in wiping out half the universe’s population. One by one, we watch many of our heroes vanish into dust while others watch in helpless horror. But none are more heartbreaking that the moment when Spider-Man (Tom Holland) falls into Tony Stark’s (Robert Downey Jr.) arms, crying “I don’t want to go.” All because some characters couldn’t make the sacrifice needed

Yes, we knew he was going to succeed in the end.[4] And yes, you know most of the heroes won’t stay gone.[5] And yes, their return will likely involve the surviving heroes sacrificing themselves.[6] But the ending still feels powerful despite this knowledge.

It all concludes with Thanos sitting near a cottage, content in his triumph. If the MCU ended here, it would have been a perfect ending. But I’m still curious to see how this will go.

2) The Closing Close-Up in CAPERNAUM

The closing image of Zain’s (Zain Al Rafeea) face will haunt you beyond the closing credits. Throughout the film, we’ve seen this kid struggle through hell on the streets of Lebanon, trying to protect his sister from their resentful parents and helping an Ethiopian Migrant Worker take care of her son. But when he’s sent to prison for assaulting a pimp who bought his sister, he decides to sue his parents for the crime of bringing him into this miserable world. Writer/director Nadine Labaki never looks away for a second to the brutality of Zain’s world and how it brings out the worst in Zain.

When the film freezes to the image of Zain smiling for a Passport photo, your heart breaks for him as Khaled Mouzanar’s haunting score plays out.

1) Tish and Fonny’s Walk Through the Park in IF BEALE STREET COULD TALK

No other opening scene has done a better job of putting its audience under its spell than when loving couple Tish (Kiki Layne) and Alfonzo “Fonny” Hunt (Stephan James) stroll through a park holding hands.

There’s beauty in every element of this scene, from Nicholas Britell’s romantic score to the warm looks in the character’s eyes. But what really sells it is James Laxton’s lush cinematography. The colours pop through the yellows and blues on the couple’s clothes and the green of the grass. You are as in love with this couple as they are for each other.

Then the film cuts to Tish visiting Fonny in prison, this time the yellow is the prison, the blue is Fonny’s jumpsuit and the green is on Tish’ outfit. From then one, we know why their love is worth fighting for.

[1] Mostly at the expense of Ariel (Jodi Benson)

[2] Especially when she appears so prominently in the advertisements.

[3] As indicated by a fantasy sequence.

[4] Since we know this was going to be a two parter.

[5] Especially when there are already planned sequels to Black Panther, Spider-Man and Guardians of the Galaxy. After all the money Marvel’s got from Black Panther? They’re not going to give up that meal ticket.

[6] What with Robert Downey Jr. and Chris Evans retiring their characters.

#random richards #Random Richards Reviews #If Beale Street Could Talk #ralph breaks the internet #Capernaum #Avengers #infinity war #annihilation #American Animals #Love Simon #Buddies #Free Solo #Mid90s #Roma #The Wife #First Man #Hereditary #a place called slaughter race

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simonalkenmayer · 6 years

Text

Riemann Integrals

It’s not at all difficult. What is it you want to know? You want me to explain it to you in a kind of formal logic fashion?

Hmm... I suppose I could. It’s easier to do if you have visual aids.

Alright, let me give a general summation: We all know that lines are named by where they go, yes? The road from Glasgow to Edinburgh. Point A to point B. And if you have many roads, you may have to be more specific: Route Interstate 5 from San Diego to Washington State.

Let’s say that a simple, straight line could be named by two points. Line AB or Line TJ. You may have seen this in Geometry. But this isn’t terribly descriptive. No not at all. Interstate 5 may go from San Diego to Washington, but it meanders around quite a bit. It’s very wiggly.

So instead of just naming a line AB, we name it more descriptively, with a “function”. You’ve seen f(x)? This just means there’s a car on the road tracking the wiggles and creating a mathematical sentence to describe the path of the road.

A simple function or f(x) would be f(x) = 2x - 6, Which means, for every point you have...every “x” you will modify it in those ways to get the second coordinate in space. If we put in an 8 for x, we get 10. For x=8, the second coordinate or “y/ f(x)” is 10. “8,10″ And so by putting in a series of numbers we come out with a series of coordinates that create a rather good description of our line!

We name the road by how we are tracking its progress. The function, f(x) is the name of the line.

Why am I demonstrating such basic algebra, well...because sometimes people get so confused by nomenclature, that it all becomes a jumble of letters and numbers and it is confusing. Just always remember that f(x) is the description of the line, its name.

Now what if you want to know the total area in miles that lies, oh lets say, on the western side of Interstate 5, from the road to the coastline. That’s an odd shape, right (pretend the coast is a flat line, for the purpose of the visual)? You want to know how much land lies to one side of the road, but with such an irregular shape, how are you going to figure out that area?

It’s simple! You’re going to create a series of rectangles beneath that line and add them up!

Rectangles are easy, right? Their area is just height multiplied by width! A rectangle 6 feet ling by 2 feet wide has an area of...12 feet! Now do this hundreds of times!, You will have a truly good approximation of the total area to one side of that road. Let me give you a visual!

So in the above image, lets say that the road is called f(x). The line at the bottom (the x axis) is the California Coast, and the Line at the left (y axis) is the state line between Mexico and California. F(x) goes clear from Mexico to Canada, but we only want to know the land measurements from San Diego to Seattle, or...A to B.

The line A and the line B are our bounds. The top boundary is the road, the bottom is the coastline, and we want to calculate all that is between, so we are going to make rectangles, BUT! The thinner our rectangles, the more accurate our assessment will be, because there will be less left over space.

So how do we write this down?

So, f(x) is just our road, our line. That long “S” shape there on the left is just saying “This is the integral” (or the space beneath the line), and the little a and b simply indicate between boundary A and boundary B! “dx”, stands for “delta” or “change” along the x axis...or...just means “little pieces of x”, like mile markers or segments between cities.

Now obviously, this formula assumes you don’t know anything about anything and are making generalizations, like saying “all cars have four wheels”. Yes, thank you, but you’re not giving me specifics. I need specifics. So instead of just “insert line name here” we will insert the actual name of the line, the line’s function. And instead of the A and B, we will put in our actual boundaries.

Yes, i borrowed this equation because I couldn’t think of one off the top of my head. Sue me. It’s been about 30 years since I last did this nonsense.

So...On the line (3x^2 + 4x + 1) we want the area from boundary 1 to boundary 5 on the x axis, for all the “dx’s” along the x axis between 1 and 5.

Now like there are in all things, there are rules for how we do maths. There’s the rules about the order in which we do things (order of operations) and so forth. And this is no exception. There’s the Integral Rule of Powers, which tells you how to get from the above equation to the next stage (In case you’re wondering, the integral rule of powers is that the exponent gets one added, while the integer is divided by that sum. 3x^2 becomes x^3. ), but I’m not teaching you how to calculate, I’m just giving you a visual idea of how this works.

“Simon! Stop! What the f(x) are you doing!”

Calm down. The integral rule of powers simply converts our equation into the business on the top right there. Then we put in 5 for x and then 1 for x, and subtract.

“What?”

We made the line. We drew in all the little rectangles from mile marker 0 to mile marker 5, then we subtracted all the rectangles between 0 and 1, because we wanted to start from 1. In my first analogy Zero = Mexico, 1 = San Diego, and 5 = Seattle. We aren’t finding the area from Mexico to Seattle, but from San Diego to Seattle, so we just subtract all that business between Mexico and San Diego.

Now the line determines the upper edge of the rectangles. Said another way, the name of the line becomes the dimension by which we calculate how tall our rectangles will be, and so the line must be used as one of the length/height requirements. So our rectangle width is “Some distance along x” and our height increment is “However tall that line is at that point”.

So really, all you’re doing is fancy addition. Adding easily calculated shapes together and averaging a bit, to get the area of an odd, curvy shape.

Now...things get complicated if we want to find volume, but you didnt ask me that.

But what does all of this mean?

Well, friends, a line isn’t just a line. A road, isn’t just a road. What if the road was through space and time? What if the “area under it” was actually something incredibly complicated.

It’s a poem. An integral is a way of approximating a truly complicated reality in a way that makes it visually accessible. That’s all.

Nothing complicated.

If that doesn’t clarify...I am sorry to say I am not a magician. Just a humble monster.

#Simon Teaches Math

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creativinn · 3 years

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See Starsky & Hutch Now, Both at 78

<p>From 1975 to 1979, <em>Starsky & Hutch</em> drew in audiences with its action scenes, car chases, and two stars, <strong>Paul Michael Glaser</strong> and <strong>David Soul</strong>, who played David Michael Starsky and Richard "Hutch" Hutchinson, respectively. The buddy cop show is one of the '70s most well-remembered series, so of course, Glaser and Soul are forever attached to the <a rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://bestlifeonline.com/70s-nostalgia/" target="_blank">Starsky and Hutch</a> names.</p> <p>That said, their careers in show business didn't slow down after the cop show ended. Both actors went on to work in other aspects of entertainment, including writing and directing for Glaser and music and theater for Soul. Read on to learn more about their lives today, including their enduring friendship.</p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong>RELATED: <a rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://bestlifeonline.com/linda-gray-sue-ellen-ewing-dallas-news/" target="_blank">Linda Gray Played Sue Ellen Ewing on <em>Dallas</em>. See Her Now at 81.</a></strong></p> <div class="number-head-mod number-head-mod-standalone"> <h2 class="header-mod"> <div class="number"></div> <div class="title">Glaser became a director and visual artist.</div> </h2> </div> <p><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-344562" decoding="async" src="https://bestlifeonline.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2022/01/Paul-Michael-Glaser.jpg?quality=82&strip=all&w=500" alt="Paul Michael Glaser at the 30th Annual A Time for Heroes Family Festival in 2019" width="500" height="754" /></p> <p>Glaser has continued acting over the years with some of his more recent roles being on <em>Ray Donovan</em> and<em> Grace and Frankie</em>. He's also worked as a writer and directed movies and TV shows, including <em>The Running Man</em>, <em>Kazaam</em>, and <em>Las Vegas</em>. In recent years, he has been <a rel="noopener noreferrer external nofollow" href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/general-news/starsky-hutch-star-paul-michael-glaser-charts-third-act-solo-art-exhibition-1104299/" target="_blank">focusing on his art</a>.</p> <p>Ahead of his first solo show in 2018, he told <em>The Hollywood Reporter</em>, "It's a dangerous slippery slope when you're known for one thing and you go to do something else. People have a tendency not to let you out of the cubby hole. To me, it's all the same; it's all storytelling. I try in my paintings and drawings to capture and pose a narrative with, maybe, an unresolved question."</p> <div class="number-head-mod number-head-mod-standalone"> <h2 class="header-mod"> <div class="number"></div> <div class="title">Soul is a musician and theater actor.</div> </h2> </div> <p><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-344563" decoding="async" src="https://bestlifeonline.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2022/01/David-Soul-2019.jpg?quality=82&strip=all&w=500" alt="David Soul at the Vina Carmen Cigar Smoker of the Year Awards in 2019" width="500" height="696" /></p> <p>Like Glaser, Soul continued acting following <em>Starsky & Hutch</em>, focusing mostly on theater roles in <a rel="noopener noreferrer external nofollow" href="https://www.sundaypost.com/fp/interview-dont-give-up-on-david-soul-just-stop-asking-if-he-was-starsky-or-hutch/" target="_blank">England, where he lives</a>. "I fell in love with Britain many years ago and found myself drawn to live here," he told <em>The Sunday Post</em> in 2019. "I have never regretted it. Over here I wasn't just Hutch, I was respected for my music and various forms of acting, including the theatre, which I have also loved very much."</p> <p>Soul's singing career began before his television fame, and he had a number one hit in 1977 with "Don't Give Up on Us."</p> <p>"Some people wondered why this guy who was all about driving fast cars and flinging himself at bad guys could suddenly think he was a pop star," Soul told <em>The Sunday Post. </em>"They didn't realize that I was a singer and musician long before I made any mark as an actor."</p> <p class="p1" style="text-align: center"><strong>For more celebrity news delivered right to your inbox, <a rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://bestlifeonline.com/newsletters/" target="_blank">sign up for our daily newsletter</a>.</strong></p> <div class="number-head-mod number-head-mod-standalone"> <h2 class="header-mod"> <div class="number"></div> <div class="title">Glaser has overcome tragedies in his personal life.</div> </h2> </div> <p><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-344564" decoding="async" src="https://bestlifeonline.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2022/01/Paul-Michael-Glaser-Jake.jpg?quality=82&strip=all&w=500" alt="Paul Michael Glaser and Jake Glaser at the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation's 27th Annual A Time for Heroes in 2016" width="500" height="333" /></p> <p>Glaser married his wife <strong>Elizabeth Glaser</strong> in 1980 and they welcomed their first child, Ariel, in 1981. When she gave birth, Elizabeth received a blood transfusion, and she, <strong>Ariel</strong>, and, later, their son <strong>Jake</strong> unknowingly contracted HIV, but <a rel="noopener noreferrer external nofollow" href="https://pagesix.com/2021/06/01/starsky-hutch-star-paul-michael-glaser-on-homoerotic-hints/" target="_blank">didn't find out until years later</a>. Tragically, Ariel died at age seven, and Elizabeth passed away in 1994. Jake is now 37 years old.</p> <p>"It challenged me to survive," Glaser told <em>Page Six </em>of the situation in 2021. "I was very fortunate. I had a really good teacher who I worked with for a long time to get past my rage and anger and gain some insight into what happened to me and what I could or could not do with it."</p> <p>Glaser and Elizabeth both advocated for more research and education on how AIDS affects children, and the latter's namesake organization, the <a rel="noopener noreferrer external nofollow" href="https://pedaids.org/about/elizabeths-story/" target="_blank">Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation</a>, continues that work today.</p> <p>Glaser went on to marry second wife <strong>Tracy Barone</strong> in 1996, and they remained together until 2007. The former couple share a daughter, <strong>Zoe</strong>.</p> <div class="number-head-mod number-head-mod-standalone"> <h2 class="header-mod"> <div class="number"></div> <div class="title">Soul is a father of six.</div> </h2> </div> <p><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-344568" decoding="async" src="https://bestlifeonline.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2022/01/David-Soul-2014.jpg?quality=82&strip=all&w=500" alt="David Soul at the premiere of "Seve" in 2014" width="500" height="750" /></p> <p>Soul has been married five times and had six kids during his marriages. He has opened up about his regret regarding a situation in which he became violent toward his wife while drinking in the '80s. He ended up in jail and had to <a rel="noopener noreferrer external nofollow" href="https://www.standard.co.uk/showbiz/the-real-david-soul-6878679.html" target="_blank">take an anger management course</a>, according to the <em>Evening Standard</em>.</p> <p>In 2012, <a rel="noopener noreferrer external nofollow" href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/may/12/david-soul-my-family-values" target="_blank">he told</a><em> The Guardian</em>, "Winning back my children's trust wasn't easy. I've got six kids now—and six grandchildren—and the best thing I can do is to be there for them as much as I can be." Referring to the fact that he lives in the U.K., he said, "I make my trips back and forth and I'm on the phone with them and I'm trying to be there for them, even in spite of the fact that I'm not present."</p> <div class="number-head-mod number-head-mod-standalone"> <h2 class="header-mod"> <div class="number"></div> <div class="title">Soul and Glaser remain friends to this day.</div> </h2> </div> <p><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-344570" decoding="async" src="https://bestlifeonline.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2022/01/David-Michael-Paul.png?w=500" alt="Paul Michael Glaser and David Soul on "This Morning" in 2017" width="500" height="294" /></p> <p>Glaser and Soul retained their personal relationship following <em>Starsky & Hutch</em>. "One thing David and I had and still have is a very deep friendship,"Glaser told <em>Page Six. </em>As for Soul, he told <em>The Sunday Post</em>, "We knew each other before <em>Starsky & Hutch</em> and have been close friends all these years since."</p> <p>Asked whether the show should ever be revived, Soul said, "It wasn't that good the first time, it just caught the imagination and everyone liked the car. I liked the car. Maybe the car could make a comeback but I don't think Paul and I could run around like we used to."</p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong>RELATED: <a rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://bestlifeonline.com/loretta-swit-hot-lips-mash-now-news/" target="_blank">Loretta Swit Played Hot Lips on <em>MASH</em>. See Her Now at 84.</a></strong></p>

The post See Starsky & Hutch Now, Both at 78 appeared first on Best Life.

This content was originally published here.

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guesso-blog1 · 7 years

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(hits the hc tennis ball back into your court) accumulation of witch ford thoughts,,,

[a submission sent to me forever ago by @inktheblot that I have been selfishly holding onto; sue me]

Magic had always been a part of Ford’s life in one way or another, and he’s been confident enough in interacting with it in the past. He’s carried spells and curses with him on multiple occasions, and melds talk of magic with talk of science so commonly that it seems he considers them two sides of the same coin. Now, after everything he and his loved ones have been through, he seeks ways to harness the mysterious forces that permeate through his hometown for good and practical reasons. To heal, to protect, and to find peace - no longer to confuse, harm, or destroy.

His new study in Fiddleford’s manor begins to fill with tomes on ancient witchcraft, with herbs, potions, and crystals, and with many more abandoned mugs of coffee. He finds himself quickly connected to magical energy and power. After spending an afternoon at the lake and finding the fortune-teller’s ring that he tossed away so long ago wash up beside him, the stone shining blue once again, he starts to find that even the sort of lore that he dismissed in the past has plenty of layers of truth to it. He reconnects himself with his family and the world around him as his passion for learning and discovery returns.

Something that wormed itself into my doodles a while back and i can’t get rid of the thought, now: he fashions an amulet of a gold pendant in the form of the Zodiac wheel, worn on a chain over his heart to keep the energy of the bonds of his loved ones with him always. The center of the circle is, rather than Bill’s image, an upside-down black triangle silhouette, to signify victory over their demons.

His magical energy manifests in a sparking golden glow around his hands.

He keeps a grimoire that is, inside and out, visually similar to his old journals: the cover a sort of iridescent black-and-gold, marked with his opposite handprint (to signify a new direction in his life!) and the infinity symbol.

As teenagers, Dipper and Mabel continue to go off exploring on their own and/or with their friends to potentially more dangerous areas. Ford stops them at the door before one particularly ambitious mission (back to CSO?), and refuses to let them go before he can cast a protection spell on them. He assures them that it’s not out of a doubt in their own abilities or a lack of trust, but the thought of them getting hurt with him having had the chance to prevent it wrecks him inside. So they let him do his thing if only for his own peace of mind. It ends up being a good investment, and the energy of their grunkle’s love and protection is warm and reassuring.

He can ramble on for ages about the magical properties of any and all herbs and crystals and whatnot in the Gravity Falls woods like the giant dork nerd he is. If you happen to be on a hike with him, and you see an interesting plant and ask, “what’s this?”, beware — once you get him started he won’t ever shut up.

He incorporates into his regular meditation routine mantras for protection and the blessing of his home and loved ones.

He’s got healing spells and teas for everything. Fever? Drink this and get some rest, you’ll be good as new once you wake. Nightmares? Keep this charm under your pillow, or even better, let me stay with you and lull you to sleep myself. Paper cut? Oh nonono don’t bother with a bandaid I have a spell for that too, just give me a moment to fetch the book—!

Tickle attacks from across the room just by wiggling his fingers!

The one supposedly-simple thing he cannot master for the life of him is levitation. The best he’s managed is wiggling around a pen or a die on the other side of his desk.

Some see magic and science as opposites that cannot coexist. Ford disagrees. he believes magic is a science - and an art, and a faith, all at once.

He’ll flip if you call him a wizard. Hell no!! Wizards are overpowered and bearded and even more annoying than unicorns!! He is a studied, practiced witch, thank you.

He probably gets the angry mob after him at some point because he has no filter and no shame and if a certain farmer guy happened to ask, “are you some kinda witch?” he’d answer “yes, indeed!” with pride…

Maybe he runs into the palm reader/hand witch again at some point and she just gives him the biggest “I told you so”. He sheepishly admits that after realizing how right she was, reevaluating his values, and looking back on his past discoveries, he has chosen to become a witch himself. She thinks this is hilarious.

He’s gentle and deliberate in general, and he wants to be seen as benevolent, but if anyone hurts his family he has no qualms against coming after them with fire in his eyes and curses in his hands and terrifying them to their core.

Basically his craft allows him to feel the excitement of learning and discovery again, with the added bonus of protecting his family and feeling unity and peace with the world that is his home once more. Regained trust and confidence in his surroundings and in himself.

Fiddleford is kinda unsettled and creeped out by all of this at first, but once he sees how Ford’s eyes light up when he masters a spell and how truly meaningful it all is for him, he starts to warm up to the idea. Ford magically aids him with his sleep and memory and health and so on, in the gentlest, most loving way he can.

Ford then revisits his mindscape inception incantation and reworks it to operate on some energy other than the power of Bill’s presence. Fiddleford’s mindscape, while significantly healed since the Blind Eye days, still appears tattered, disorganized…even downright shredded in some places. But Ford has some ideas. He jumps into recounting many a tale from their past, while summoning an astral needle and thread in his hand. F catches on, and together they remake the torn-up space in Fiddleford’s mind into a beautiful patchwork quilt of memories.

Mabel has a natural talent for witchy things as well and becomes interested in being Ford’s apprentice (oh the irony), but it’s more like they’re teaching each other. think enchanted sweaters, the color and symbol of each reflecting the charm it bears…also lots of dreamcatchers and shiny things. Mabel, too, has no qualms about boasting, “yeah, it’s magic, my grunkle’s a witch!”

Ford and Dipper, then, have many more interesting ghost hunts and seances.

Stan, of course, makes bad jokes always. They go to the lake and Ford trips into the dirt; as he shakes himself off he can hear a cackle behind him of “haha, sand-witch!“

#witchy pines au #hcs #some good stuff tbh #I still really love this #hhhh #submission

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ericleo108 · 6 years

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🎤 Music Artists’ Composition and Communication

Overt and Subliminal Tactics and Techniques

Intro

This essay is an update of The Collective (Un)conscious in Music & Media. It is more concise and directed in light of newly developed information like ETM, ETM2, The Blue Treatise, etc. As you will come to see there are different forms of linguistics, lyrics, music, imaging and cinematic semantics and mirroring. What we will explore are the various forms those semantics and mirroring portray themselves and try to make sense of what most people don’t even know occurs or exists.

Influence

“If I have seen further it is only by standing on the shoulders of giants.” - Sir Isaac Newton

When we think about music we think of our favorite composers. No matter what genre though your favorite artist got their start learning from someone that came before them. Doing things like learning another artist's songs and what their favorite cords, words, phrases, or metaphors are, will mold the proceeding artist in their image. As with anything familiar, their artistry will be “imprinted” in their mind.

Recognizing Similarities

I will be focusing on hip-hop but as long as I know the proceeding artist I can tell how the succeeding artist has been influenced. For an example, in song, you can tell Avril Lavigne was heavily influenced by Alanis Morissette; just listen to “Head Over Feet” and then “Complicated.” As an example in rap, Asher Roth talks about how he thinks he’s been successful because he sounds like Eminem as described in the track “As I Em.” Those are vocal examples, musically some artists and bands use other band’s work explicitly and deliberately. For example, Crazy Town’s “Butterfly” is just a riff from The Red Hot Chili Peppers “Pretty Little Ditty.”

I heard “Butterfly” when I was in grade school but never knew it was from TRHCP until College. I knew the first time I heard “Pretty Little Ditty” though that it was the same musical riff as “Butterfly.” I’ve shown this to a couple people that have heard both songs and they couldn’t tell it is the same musical progression. If the lay-person doesn’t recognize this, as we go deeper into the human mind, it should become more and more self evident that the similarities between various musical and lyrical associations become harder and harder to see!

Musical Samples

What most people don’t see are music similarities known as “samples” which are small snippets of work from another’s artistry. Some examples of obvious samples are Kid Cudi sampling Lady Gaga’s acoustic version of “Pokerface” in “Make Her Say” or Mac Miller sampling Nas in “Nike’s on my feet.”

Music artists often take a certain sounds and create a whole new musical piece, creating an original work from a classic or a classic from an otherwise unknown original work. Often the sampled classic become a classic. Kid Rock’s “All Summer Long” sampled from Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Sweet Home Alabama” is a great example.

Musical sampling happens so often certain sounds (and phrases) are considered intellectual property and are copyrighted by the originator. If you do not credit or pay for the rights to use the sampled sound of a copyrighted work the originator can sue for damages. The most quintessential example of this is Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby” and Queen’s “Under Pressure.”

Less noticeably, Mac Miller was sued for "Kool Aid & Frozen Pizza" because he didn’t clear samples from Lord Finesse's 1995 single "Hip 2 Da Game." More famously, controversial, and recent this type of copyright infringement sampling happened to Robin Thicke who “ripped off” Marvin Gaye's 1977 hit "Got to Give It Up" when he wrote the smash hit "Blurred Lines" with Pharrell Williams and T.I.

These examples are either obvious, identifiable, or published in the news because it’s protected and institutions get involved in protecting their property. But to people or the regular person, they can’t tell, don’t care, and/or have no idea (Robin Thicke sampled Marvin Gaye, for example)! ...and why should they?

Understanding Metaphors in Hip-Hop

There are other ways artists share without having to worry about copyright. For example, besides creative commons, in hip-hop, artists use metaphor and samples to communicate in music. The following are common metaphors, themes, tropes, or cliches in hip-hop that are (pretty) universally used (to show talent and ability).

The “Lab” = Producing Hip-Hop, example:

“What, cause I been in the lab, wit a pen and a pad, try’na get this damn label off” - Forgot about Dre by Dr. Dre

“Back to the lab again yo, this whole rhapsody” - Lose Yourself by Eminem

“I be in the Lab” by G-Eazy

“Whipping” it in “the Kitchen,” example:

“Catch me in the kitchen, like a Simmons whippin' pastry” - Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z

“I throw down in the kitchen might hit your mom with my omelette” - Despicable by Eminem

"Woke up in the kitchen and I started mad whippin'" - Whippin' by Gucci Mane

Voltron/Weapons Capabilities of Transformers, example:

“Come on, you know the 'Tics connect like Voltron Collect so much grass, popo thinking we mow lawns.” - Shake Ya Tailfeather by P. Diddy

“But I form like Voltron and blast you with my shoulder missiles” - Just Don’t Give a F#$k by Eminem

"We form like Voltron, and GZA happen to be the head" - Can It Be All So Simple by Wu-Tang

“I'm a beast when you turn me on into the future cybertron” - Boom Boom Pow by The Black Eyed Peas

“Sleep on Me” is so cliche I don’t need any examples.

To identify metaphors you need to be able to recognize certain words and phrases and how they associate to one another. Another factor is the music. Like what is the tone/mood, is it reflecting another work, etc.? If you’d like to know how rappers use and write metaphors watch this video from the pro Novi Novak himself!

Lyrical Samples

There are musical samples but there are also lyrical samples. When it comes to “sampling” you have to be able to recognize patterns! Lyrical sampling is when you take another artist’s cadence (i.e. flow) and make your own (new and original) lyric progression. This typically starts with the first line from the original, sampled lyric followed by original lyrics in the same cadence (flow) as the sampled work. Some examples of sampling are as follows.

Drake samples Dead Prez’s “It’s bigger than Hip Hop” in “Over” starting with the lyric, “One thing bout music when it hit you feel no pain.” G-Eazy samples Kanye West’s “Stronger” in “Let’s Get Lost” starting with the lyric “Let’s get lost tonight.” Rita Ora is sampling Biggie Smalls’s “Party and Bullshit” in “How We Do” ...and 50 Cent’s is sampling 2pac’s “Picture me Roll’n” in “Places to Go.”

Artistic Communication

In music, especially in hip-hop, there is a form of artistic communication in musical, linguistic, and visual mirroring or responding. Sampling is usually a sign of respect and admiration. Some examples of positive linguistic artist communication is how Sublime honors KRS-One in their song “KRS-One,” Royce Da 5’9” honors Eminem in “Lighters,” Eminem honor’s Dr. Dre in “I Need a Doctor,” Taylor Swift honors Tim McGraw in “Tim McGraw,” or The Notorious BIG and Macklemore honors all of hip-hop in “Juicy” and “At the Party” respectively. An example of positive visual communication is how Justin Timberlake honors Michael Jackson posthumously in “Love Never Felt So Good.”

Biting

Biting is when you sample but “flip” the words/sentiment to make them negative or pejorative (i.e. a diss). Biting is more of a competitive condescending back-talk. Biting or negative artistic communication is all too common especially in hip-hop where it’s rampant and (almost) expected. Some historic examples of negative linguistic artist communication are 2Pac’s “Hit Em Up” and The Notorious BIG’s “Who Shot Ya,” Nas’s “Ether” and Jay-Z’s “The Takeover,” Ja Rule’s “Loose Change” and Eminem’s “Hailie’s Revenge.”

A less serious (showboating) example of negative visual artistic communication is how Hopsin makes fun of Tyler The Creator’s “Yonkers” in “Illmind of Hopsin 4.” Then The Game copy’s Hopsin’s look in “Martians Vs. Goblins” and Hopsin “calls-out” The Game for it in “Hop Madness.”

Subliminal Artist Communication

The previous examples in the “Artistic Communication” section were examples of overt artist communication. This makes sense because why would you subliminally honor an artist, if you like or love that fellow artist? You wouldn’t, you’d want to make it known. However, when it comes to biting (in contemporary artistry) the negative communication turns subliminal.

To be explicit, notice how Hopsin makes his communications overt and says the artist’s names and mirrors them while the mainstream artists never official say they are talking to Hopsin although it’s obvious once pointed out. This is done so the bigger mainstream artist (Tyler The Creator and The Game) doesn’t give attention to the independent artist (Hopsin). If you think about it, a mainstream artist gains (almost) nothing by mentioning a smaller independent or underground artist. These are the reasons why I believe subliminal artistic communication overwhelmingly, if not always, is negative and artistic communication between mainstream and independent artists remain subliminal.

Subliminal Examples

Another example of subliminal artist communication is how Immortal Technique’s “Reverse Pimpology” is (in my profession opinion) a response to 50 Cent’s “P.I.M.P.” for reasons that should be/sound obvious in the songs similarity, region, and lyrical insinuation. An example of an obvious but subliminal mainstream negative visual artist communication is when Taylor Swift literally bites Kanye West visually in “Look at What You Made Me Do” by making fun of his bottom row of diamond encrusted gold fronts.

There are other reasons to keep your influences, mirroring, and “artistic theft” hidden and subliminal. Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” famously and controversially came from Madonna’s “Express Yourself.” Bruno Mars definitely is insinuating the word “pleasure” in his song “Treasure” but probably only used that choice of words as to not be restricted from radio or other airplay for being explicit or obscene (because America sees it obscene to give women pleasure). Finally, Eminem’s Despicable is a freestyle over Drake’s “Over” beat and was Eminem’s way of protecting his throne at the top of the chart and showing he was a better artist than Drake who was a threat on the charts and awards at the time when both “Recovery” and “Thank Me Later” were released in the same year.

Eminem’s Subliminals

The most famous example of overt artist communication turned subliminal is between Mariah Carey and Eminem. After Eminem and Mariah Carey were done dating Eminem came out with a few songs mentioning Mariah, notably "Bagpipes from Baghdad." In what can only be deemed as a response Mariah put out "Obsessed" which features a shady character (pun intended) that looks just like Em in a room with posters full of Mariah obviously obsessing over her. Although Mariah never mentioned his name, Eminem responded with "The Warning" where he says "I'm obsessed now? Oh gee, is that supposed to be me in the video with the goatee?" ...which it obviously is.

People saw this subliminal communication and went, “duh” but would you have noticed it if Eminem wouldn’t have responded so overtly? What if you didn’t know who Eminem was? The only reason people see the subliminal communication here is because they are both big name artists, Eminem made it obvious, and the events surrounding the communication were closely connected in time and suspect.

Taylor Swift Visual Sampling Example

We started with auditory sampling and we have now graduated into visual sampling as just discussed starting with the “Biting” section. The most recent and relevant example of visual “sampling” in a music video is to look at what TIME magazine is saying about Taylor Swift’s “Look What You Made Me Do.” I picked this article TIME wrote about Taylor visually sampling other artists to show it doesn’t get any more normal and mainstream to connect and associate visual similarities and references. For example, TIME talks about what the dollar bill means in Taylor’s bathtub of diamonds and I agree with their assertion.

In other articles there are a lot of people saying that Taylor copied Beyonce because she has a bat in the “bank scene” like Beyonce does in “Hold Up.” I personally see that as a stretch because the bat is an independent association with no other references (to “Hold Up”)! What would strengthen that argument is that people think the V formation in Taylor’s dance scene is actually copying Beyonce’s Superbowl dance formation but that’s a stretch. It’s more likely Taylor is copying the “V” formation for “The Mighty Ducks.” There are other articles about how Taylor’s cage scene is referencing Lindsay Lohan’s “Rumors” but it’s just as likely she reflecting the cage scene from Miley Cyrus’s “Can’t be Tamed.” However, I do agree with the consensus that Taylor is more likely referencing “Rumors” IF she is reflecting either of them at all.

Visual Sampling

The best representation of a similar music video is Nick Jonas’s “Chains” and Jay-Z and Kanye West’s “No Church in the Wild.” The music composition and the visual themes are very similar. They are both shot in widescreen, same style, hue/shade, and have the same props and characters. The music videos are so similar (in fact) I expect that both (music videos) were made by the same creator. They were both made by the same label, Universal Music Group (UMG).

Two other music videos that are also from the same parent label (UMG) and are in the same style, hue, and have the same themes are Taylor swift’s “Trouble” and Eminem’s “Love the Way You Lie.” Demi Lovato’s music video “Sorry Not Sorry” is in the same style and format as “Beauty and the Beat” by Justin Bieber. If you take away the fact that one is in black and white, there’s a lot of similarities between G - Eazy’s “Calm Down” and Drake’s “The Motto” which is unintentional due to the production coming from different labels (UMG and Sony respectively).

Can’t Keep My Hands To Myself

The question becomes what does all this reflecting mean considering it’s coming from the same label, UMG? This isn’t just mindless, random mirroring. There’s a deeper metaphor and narrative that UMG is creating/painting. As discussed in ETM2 it’s like playing balderdash where you have to associate words without using certain words or phrases. In the same respect UMG is playing balderdash with music videos and giving people ideas without their conscious recollections, which is what semantic priming is as discussed in ETM.

For example, we assume Selena Gomez’s character in the song “Hands to Myself,” is in the house of the boy she’s obsessed with, the one with the curly blonde hair. However, Rihanna's song “Stay” could be about the same curly haired blonde boy just over at Rihanna's place singing with her while Selena’s breaking into his place and he shows up to catch her after he leaves Rihanna. The ending scene in “Hands to Myself” could just represent what Selena wishes the reality would be while the actual reality is Selena getting arrested for trespassing. Although confusing, this is plausible, and seems to be a semantic mirroring regardless coming from the same parent label UMG.

To add to the complexity of UMG’s message it seems that Camila Cabello’s “Havana” is (also) intentionally reflecting Selena Gomez’s “Same Old Love.” The music videos are very similar in cadence and composition and at the end of the “Havana” music video Camila says “...if you don’t like my story, go write your own” after, what we can assume to be Selena Gomez, ends up alone.

UMG’s Societal Painting

The point I'm making and the question we must ask ourselves is what message is UMG trying to portray with all these similarities between music videos? What psychological conditions are UMG trying to create with the similarity between “No Church in the Wild” and “Chains,” “Trouble” and “Love the Way You Lie,” and “Beauty and the Beat” and “Sorry Not Sorry.” For example, both Taylor and Eminem have poor romantic reputations and their videos are similarly about the dismantling of love.

Considering The Fascist Capitalist Nazi Ideology journal we can assume the motivation and goal is pejorative. Its seems intuition and common sense would assume UMG is boguarding love and having these artists create their own mental blocks. As I ask in the Leo's Inception journal, why are the majority of these artists not married with a family?

Next Level

To be able to see the aforementioned it’s all about pattern recognition of all the various forms. However, there's a whole nother level in writing lyrics where you say something that sounds similar, imply it, omit it, say it without saying it, or give a double meaning.

An example of a double meaning is Uncle Kracker's “Follow Me.” Is it about love or cocaine? An example of just omitting words is in Eminem’s “Toy Soldier” when he says “I went my whole career without ever mentioning ___.” It’s clear he’s talking about “Suge (Knight)” by the rhyme scheme in relation to his history and what he’s talking about, but he doesn’t say it.

As an example of saying it without saying it (more subtle, but [what should be] just as obvious) is Taylor Swift’s “Picture to Burn.” She says “So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy. That's fine, You won’t mind if I say... By the way, I hate that stupid old…” It’s obvious she’s implying she's going to “say” he’s “gay” because what else would she tell everybody that’s gonna hurt him and rhymes with say and way?

An example of saying something that sounds similar is when Taylor Swift says “make fun of our axes” in 22. She clearly means “accents.” One of the most famous examples (that’s probably unintentional) is from Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” when she says “I have a long list of ex lovers” because everyone thinks she is really saying “starbucks lovers.”

Some examples of songs that imply what you are saying is Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball.” I swear everyone I tell this to says they see it and can’t get it out of their mind afterwards! In her music video “Wrecking Ball” Miley is naked and crying as it sounds like she’s saying “you Ra-a-aped me.” It’s almost as if the producers of the music video deliberately wanted the listener/viewer to make that connection in their head between her vulnerability, tears, and what it sounds like she’s saying without saying it, and used those similarities to such a tragic event to (balderdash [as discussed in ETM2 and) sell records.

#🎤 Music Artists’ Composition and Communication

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