#i literally cannot be normal ever apparently

[sparrowposting]

Totk ending DID make me cry okay

[lorephobic]

“Lovely. Smells good. It smells like Jacob. Weirdly. Nah, it smells good.” Barry on the red carpet last night. My love/hate relationship with the interviewers who keep asking him these type of questions is so complex like we get it and you need to stop right this second bur also PLEASE KEEP GOING 😩🙏

was literally talking with my work bestie today about how much i love hearing barry talk about jacob but if it’s a red carpet interview and u get the chance to ask him any one question in the world and u decide to make that moment about jacob??? sorry but u deserve to be shot.

ask jacob about jacob. this is barrys moment and barrys night. if ur not going to ask him an interesting question about HIM then go bother literally any other celebrity.

also if ur going to ask him about jacob at least be serious. this bathwater candle shit “describe jacob in three words” “what was it like when u first met him”, its all SO TIRED!!!!! NOBODY IS INVESTED IN THEIR LOVE STORY MORE THAN ME!!!!! but i would not be caught DEAD asking barry keoghan what the jacob bath water candles, that he DID NOT BUY BECAUSE HE IS NORMAL, SMELL LIKE!!!! WHEN WILL U PEOPLE LEARN WHAT A BIT IS.

[grendelsmilf]

madame web was SO fucking funny i love that every single decision they make is certifiably insane but in a somehow very safe and pandering corporately-mandated way. here are some of my favorite choices:

an extended action sequence set to toxic by britney spears which stops in the middle to remind you that the year is 2003 so this song was actually just released

the villain goes to the opera, seduces an elegant woman with a single look, wakes up from a recurring nightmare wherein three teenage girls beat him up and kill him, proceeds to rant at this woman whom he’s just met about how hard it is to know how you will die someday, reveals that he is aware that she an nsa agent, and poisons her while he forces her to tell him the roughly 8 digit code that grants you access to every single security camera and government database in the entire world

one of the girls from girls is his assistant who tracks down three teenage girls for him by making composite sketches of their faces just via his own memories of his dreams. also, they are all wearing masks in his dreams, so how he was able to define all their features is extremely unclear

the fact that spidey powers originated from an indigenous tribe in peru does retroactively imply that every spider person within the spiderverse canon is performing an egregious act of cultural appropriation

adam scott plays UNCLE BEN, but because sony doesn’t have the rights to say the name “peter parker,” they are constantly finding ways to imply that he is, in fact, ben parker without outright saying it. we do see peter parker being born (i guess this spiderman was born in 2003?), but i’m not sure why we’re supposed to care since all of the girls (apparently) seem to have way cooler powers than he does

that said, we only see the girls use their powers in dreamlike sequences of the future. at no point in the present timeline do any of them use their powers whatsoever. except anya does have the power to be a #WomanInSTEM, so good for her.

dakota johnson’s cassandra webb, or “cassie,” (very normal thing to name your daughter who has spider-fueled powers of prophecy btw) cares for a stray cat who represents her own role as a “stray” as an orphan who grew up in the foster system (this is not subtle by the way, she literally says to the cat “gotta look out for fellow strays”). to illustrate that she is secretly a warm, nurturing woman despite her aloof and awkward veneer, this cat’s name is literally “cat.”

the villain of this movie never actually explains his motivation for seeking power beyond the fact that he had a difficult childhood. no details of his childhood are ever revealed. he is not given a single redeeming quality or even a reason to care about him. he is played by césar-winning and bafta-nominated actor tahar rahim in what i can only describe as the worst performance i have ever seen outside of a middle school play. he dies after being crushed by a giant letter S from a pepsi sign. you know. like a bug.

it’s never really explained why being bitten by a spider gives one prophetic visions, beyond the tenuous notion that to see the future is to “weave a web” of sorts. however, despite the fact that we establish that the villain can also see the future, despite having been bitten by the same magical species of spider, he never once is able to predict the future when it counts, such as foreseeing that he should dodge a falling giant letter S.

there’s an extended sequence dedicated to establishing that cassie’s colleague (who later dies in an ambulance crash) cannot grill for shit. as she sips from a refreshing can of pepsi-cola®️, she lambasts him for fucking up their burgers. this is the only piece of characterization they establish for him before he dies.

at the beginning of the movie, cassie receives a very earnest drawing done by a small child in thanks for saving his mother (she’s a paramedic). cassie very awkwardly refuses to accept the drawing, kind of just makes one continuous whine with the corners of her mouth until the entire family is weirded out enough to leave, and then complains that she has no idea what to do with the drawing, and will probably throw it out. we are meant to like this woman, probably.

cassie is a professional paramedic, but a hobbyist car crasher. she drives not one, but two stolen vehicles through the walls of buildings throughout the film, and it seems to be her go-to strategy in any fight.

cassie is allowed to fly internationally despite concurrently being very publicly wanted for the alleged abduction of three teenage girls. we never see her move through the airport despite the film heavily focalizing the issue of mass surveillance and preemptive criminalization in 2003 new york city, so i guess it just isn’t an issue for her. yet another win for white privilege

after cassie experiences a near-death incident on the job that triggers her latent powers of prophecy, her doctor recommends that she take the week off to get some rest and “watch old movies.” cassie clearly considers this to be sound medical advice, as in the consecutive scene, she is shown to be watching an early version of a christmas carol (in the middle of summer) and clearly feels a strong enough bond with scrooge that she feels comfortable speaking to him through the screen as if he were an old friend.

cassie has a vision of her mother researching spiders in the amazon before she died, and almost immediately yells “WHY DID YOU HATE ME!!!!”

cassie’s quest to save three teenage girls she doesn’t know ultimately results in the deaths of many more people, including multiple cops, train passengers, diner patrons, chopper pilots and people she may or may not have hit with her stolen taxi and/or stolen ambulance. but at least julia, mattie, and anya are safe!

after cassie is blinded and paralyzed(?), her entire personality does a 180 and she becomes a very creepy, ominous woman who serenely predicts the near future of her three adopted teenage girls, illuminated by a giant, weblike window. this is all done in service of setting up the sequel that sony clearly assumes is a given.

cassie attends her colleague/best friend’s sister’s baby shower (who happens to be played by emma roberts, and who also happens to be peter parker’s mother) and is for some reason corralled into playing some baby shower games, including “describe your fondest memory of your mother on a small strip of blue paper” (which cassie deliberately leaves blank, leading to a very awkward explanation of her mother having died in childbirth, but don’t worry, you’ll be fine) and “guess the name of my baby” (which is never actually revealed, because sony apparently has the rights to the name ben, but not peter).

anyone else really craving a nice refreshing can and/or glass bottle of pepsi-cola®️ rn, or is that just me?

[screeching-bunny]

Yandere! Townspeople Harem x Lucky Reader

Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Possessive Behavior, Reader is Referred as ‘You’

A/N: I have no clue what I was on when I wrote this 💀. This is also inspired by a Reddit post I saw long time ago.

🌟 Yandere! Townspeople who are absolutely enamored by you and everything that you do. They treat you as if you are some kind of entity waiting to be put on a golden pedestal and paraded around town. You are essentially the town’s golden boy/girl/person, a mascot if you can even call it that. In their eyes everything that you do is inspiring and encouraged. It also doesn’t help that you were born with this amazing power that causes you to become extremely lucky. No matter the deed, every action was thrust into the spotlight as if it were a gracious gesture for the community's well-being. Take, for instance, if you ever fatally shot someone the townsfolk would erupt in applause, discovering the individual to be a notorious mass murderer and your action saved the town.

🌟 Yandere! Townspeople who can’t help but gush over every miniscule achievement that you got. You got a perfect attendance award? They wouldn’t expect anything less from you. Did you just get a participation trophy? Well they're cheering for you as if you just won the world cup. To say their actions are embarrassing is definitely an understatement. Everytime they cheer for you, you can’t help but die a little bit on the inside.

🌟 Yandere! Townspeople who absolutely cannot fathom the idea of you moving out of their town. They would much rather skin themselves alive and commit arson than to allow you to leave them. Everywhere you go, there will always be some form of eyes on you. There will always be some type of survance of you at any time of the day. Depending on the person, the townspeople's love for you can either be platonic or romantic. Basically half of the town wants to fuck your and the other half sees you as their beloved child or grandchild.

🌟 Yandere! Townspeople who may or may not be human. Like sure they might have the occasional human sacrifices but what town doesn’t!?!? This is totally normal behavior that people exhibit. What’s that? Did you just see a tentacle coming out from that woman over there? Nahhh. You must be imagining that! What a cute and overactive imagination you have there. In all seriousness, it would literally die for you. You're just a cutie patootie to them. Your small teeth are so cute compared to their razor sharp fangs. You know, you could really use that small mouth of yours and suck on their–

🌟 Yandere! Townspeople have a monthly ritual where they gather around to brag about all of the items that they stole from you. Never in your life will you see someone so happy to own a pair of used underwear that didn’t belong to them or some used pair of socks. If you looked up a textbook definition of “down bad” then a picture of the Yandere! Townspeople would be the first images to pop up. In your presence these people act as if they had never touched grass or seen the sun before. They all seem to have some type of mutual agreement that in your presence, they would try to act somewhat normal in order to not scare/scar you too much.

—

From a young age, your luck was apparent. In school, while others struggled with exams, you breezed through them effortlessly, always managing to stumble upon the exact answers needed to excel. Teachers marveled at your natural knack for stumbling upon solutions, even in the most challenging of situations. As you grew older, the extraordinary luck only seemed to amplify. Job interviews turned into job offers within minutes, as if the universe conspired to ensure your success in every endeavor. Colleagues joked that working with you was like having a lucky charm around, as projects that seemed doomed to fail miraculously turned into resounding triumphs whenever you were involved. It might seem great and all BUT DAMN WAS THIS LIFE SO FUCKING BORING!!!! Which is why you decided to spice up your day a little and rob a bank.

“Oh hello [Reader]! Is this going to be the usual procedure?” The bank teller asks you with a smile on their face as you hold a gun to their face. “You know… the weather is perfectly nice today. It would be a perfect day for a date don’t you think–”

Suddenly a thunderous crash was heard, the police burst through the bank doors, their badges glinting under the harsh fluorescent lights. Guns drawn and voices booming commands, they swept into the lobby, faces masked with determination. Until the police chief sees you and lets out a tired sigh, “Guns down everyone, it’s just [Reader].” A faint sound of disappointed groans can be heard from the crowd of bank patrons from the back. “Why are the police here so soon, I didn’t get enough time to admire their pretty face.” another voice could be heard, “For real, their never this fast in an actual emergency. I mean they only just shot and killed one person, it's really nothing to worry about like who cares–”

—

“You are free to go [Reader], again.” the police officer states as she releases you from your handcuffs. “Turns out the man that you shot ended up being a drug dealer. You really have a special talent for catching criminals don’t you. She states as she gazes at you with loving eyes. “You know I’m free after this shift, you think we can–”

Before she can finish her sentence you walk away with a dejected look on your face. You couldn’t believe how boring a day this turned out to be. Seriously, you wished that something exciting would happen in this town for once you think to yourself. Failing to notice a scene behind you. One that consisted of a bunch of monsters eating the souls of the innocent while on their knees for a statue that seemed to look like you. They all seem to be gripping onto something though– HEY, WAIT A MINUTE ARE THEY HOLDING YOUR UNDERWEAR!?!!?

[somewhereincairparavel]

Alright. I came across someone saying that Rick "put Jason in a pedestal" and "overhyped" him by emphasizing how good looking he is and that Jason shouldn't have been so attractive looking. (Tbf tho that person made it sound like they seemed more mad bc their least favourite character was considered good looking lol) but I'll yap about the significance here anyways. Beware of a very long yapping session below.

I do understand their frustration though, because jason getting told that he looks good all the time makes it seem very shallow and unfair to the others.

And let me tell you, Jason is SUPPOSED to be gorgeous looking in everyone's eyes. He is supposed to be conventionally handsome, Rick didn't intend for his looks to be "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder " or something like Percy's (like how Piper didn't find him as impressive) Percy's is supposed to be more authentic. Percy's character isnt centred in people idolizing him, everyone can acknowledge that he's handsome looking, but it isn't in a "perfect" type of way, he's a carefree spirit and that reflects on his looks. While Jason is hardwired as this ethereal looking hero in people's eyes that not even ONE can deny that he looks good, bc ppl in Rome had set him as the "standard". Jason said this before in the lost hero, that him being a son of Jupiter, makes him feel like the support he gets is only because his dad is a very regal and intimidating figure.

That's kind of the whole point, he's supposed to look like this perfect man who can do no wrong. His "Golden noble boy" arc is literally the whole concept of his character. Why else do you think rick wrote Aphrodite approving of Jason's looks saying that he needed no improvement (which she rarely does) ?

Because Jason is supposed to be put like a statue to admire and idolize, that's ALSO why rick made sure to add that Jason looks like a Roman sculpture, bc that's like a metaphor for his inner conflicts. The guy was put like an artifact for people to ogle at in camp Jupiter ever since he was a kid of 4. That's part of the tragedy.

Annabeth said it perfectly “Annabeth tried to hide it, but she still didn’t completely trust the guy. He acted too perfect - always following the rules, always doing the honorable thing. He even looked too perfect. In the back of her mind, she had a nagging thought. What if this is a trick and he betrayed us?” Mark of Athena, page 6.

His mother, whom he's supposed to look like, is also a literal world wide tv actress. So you can't expect anything less either.

Also, Jason is supposed to mirror Percy. And let's be real. Rick put Percy in a VERY high pedestal looks wise, aswell, Not just Jason. And that's okay.

Rick made Hazel mistake Percy for a literal god because he was just that good looking (tbf, in a way, when I was younger, I found this to be a little bit of an exaggeration, bro was covered in mud and seaweed and was compared to a god, it was rlly funny to a 10 year old me 😭 yeah but don't mind this though, this was just a younger me jealous that I couldn't be as pretty as Percy was in mud lol) If Percy can be "hyped" up so "unrealistically" in that particular situation then so can Jason. They are both literal half gods, so unrealistic praise is very normal) and rick also made sure to emphasize that almost all the teen characters had a crush on Percy. So apparently that isn't called putting a character in a pedestal but Jason's is? They are BOTH put in pedestals, because they're both heroes.

Jason and Percy are supposed to be equals, so both of them being in the top two when it comes to looks makes SENSE. Because people are supposed to argue about who is better looking, since they're written as foils.

You cannot expect rick to make Percy look like a god and Jason look like a rat 😭 then there's no point of having them as parallels if one has the upper hand in something. Rick did a good job by conveying that they are BOTH attractive, but in different ways. That's why the Percy/Jason looks debate always have mixed answers.

Jason getting complimented by Aphrodite, the GODDESS of beauty, for his looks and her saying that he didn't have anything to "fix" in his face BC it already looks gorgeous = Percy getting compared to a gorgeous Roman god by hazel. They are both equal comparisons in slightly different tones.

[soupyspaghetti]

venting about silly things pls disregard

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

What if the reader was the child of the creator and had these gorgeous horns until one day, they were being looked after by Raiden, Venti, Nahida, Zhongli and they hear this mixed sounds of rocks breaking and bone snapping suddenly appearing and reader's large and gorgeous horns is suddenly not attached and in their hands while blood drips from their head. Apparently their horns were feeling pretty wobbly and they wanted to pull them to get rid of the feeling because it felt annoying.

PS: this is normal for this to happen, it's like pulling a tooth and a new one grows back.

How would they react to the graces child's horns no longer attached to their head.

OOOHH BOY, ARCHONS BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELTS, YOUR BABYSITTING CAREERS ARE ABOUT TO BE SHOOT THROUGH A BIG ROLLERCOASTER!

Honestly cannot blame them for panicking though—I would honestly do the same if I were in that position—

(Disclaimers: Might be OOC!)

Raiden Ei

The moment she sees the Almighty Creator's child's head bleeding, she is already scolding herself greatly for not being able to protect a child.

And then she sees the horns. That's when her panic begins to really spike up. That is—until she remembers Mikoshi Chiyo—her dear oni friend of bygone times—mention something about how some animals shed their horns during certain times of the year. And how her children have their teeth fall out when they were younger but we don't talk about that-

"Your Younger Grace, let us clean this all up before it becomes more of a mess." She tries to soften her voice towards you, knowing that she is dealing with a) a child and b) the literal descendant of the Almighty Creator. She does not dare to try and be cruel to the child who's parent can literally strike her down faster than lightning and time itself.

She's not exactly the most open nowadays, but she would still try to make herself as approachable as possible, if you two weren't close before.

If you two were? Well, that makes it a lot easier—her concern is easily detected and she's already cleaning up the blood and taking your previous horns somewhere else (probably a place where nobody would begin to panic just at the sight of it).

She won't even speak a single word about this incident after it's over. Ei does not want to look back at this memory and remember just how much of a heart attack she just gained by staring at the Divine One's child.

Venti

This man, hands down, will panic for a good few hours. Probably won't think straight as he thinks he's failed the Almighty Creator.

"Your Younger Grace, quick—let's get that cleaned up now!" Man would probably also yeet your horns away (gently) so that he never has to see it again. Venti is 100% traumatized again.

Would keep an eye on you whenever you touch your head now—this guy is making sure you never repeat the same thing again.

It won't be 'till a LONGG time before he realizes it's like a deer with your horns—but still, it's still pretty traumatic for our wisp boi, let's be hoenst—

Nahida

She would naturally be very upset that you would hurt yourself. However, she's not as panicked—she compares this situation like a deer. Or, actually—she hypothesizes.

Nevertheless, Nahida is still pretty upset you have to bleed because of this. She never wants to see you hurt, ever!

"Your Younger Grace, please let one of my people tend to your head..." She would call in her best medics from her nation to make sure your bleeding stops, before she deals with the horns that you practically tore off.

She will admit, it was very strange to hold the pieces of the Almighty Creator's child's horns as if they were collectible items. So, for the time being, she'll just keep them in a wrapped cloth to hide them.

Every time you do this, Nahida is now extra prepared for your "horn regrowth," as she calls it.

Zhongli

Dude is honestly the least surprised out of them all. I mean—can you blame him? He legit has seen it happen—remember what animal Moon Carver is? Yeah, that's right: a deer. Man's seen the guy shed antlers all the time, honestly.

But what he didn't expect is that you would actually bleed from pulling your horns off. That's what gets this grandpa of an Archon moving.

"Your Grace, allow me to tend to your injuries." Would treat it so seriously you think you were actually injured—you're just sitting there trying to recall how you might have hurt yourself until you realize Zhongli was talking about the horns you pulled off.

Pretty calm about the horns, honestly. Like I said, he's probably seen it one too many times. He'll probably ask the Almighty Creator themself of what he should do with them.

Would also probably educate the other archons so that they could stop having an absolute panic attack each time you decide to make your head bleed (cough looking at you, Venti cough).

And that's it! Everyone's except Ei's is short, but I do hope you like it! See you all around :)

Ghost Rebel Side Note: Yes, I did do some research with Ei's part—mainly because I don't really know how exactly she would react to a situation like this. I'm taking in terms with the fact that she is also mentally arguing/dealing with the Puppet Shogun, so there is some sort of rationalism behind her actions because of this. And, no, I don't believe Oni are able to shed off their horns, so I just made one of Ei's friends mention something about re-growing horns/teeth lol-

Check the Ghost Rebel's Blog Description to See if Their Mailbox is Open!

[yeowangies]

Candy

❧

PAIRING: Vegeta/Reader RATING: Explicit CONTENTS: Explicit sexual content, Masturbation. WARNINGS: None. WORDCOUNT: 2150

Summary: Vegeta is tired of you teasing and tempting him.

Notes:

Another thing I wrote to try to get back on track with other writings, and it tured out longer than I expected.

I haven't written anything regarding masturbation and I SO wanted to write this, and I figured Vegeta was the best subject for this! Didn't think this would be over 2k words lmao.

How you found yourself underneath Vegeta after interrupting his training at the gravity chamber was kind of a funny story. Or at least it was looking at it at that moment. 

You didn’t think your little comments affected him so much; not when Bulma said things far cruder and more obscene than you did. You were doing it for the fun of it. Vegeta seemed closed to either obliterating Bulma or fucking her whenever she spoke to him, so whatever came out of your mouth was in no way expecting to end up anywhere with him. Besides, who wouldn’t fuck Bulma, right? She was the epitome of beauty. 

But apparently Vegeta didn’t agree with you, or so it seemed. Not by the way he was looking at you. You were either about to be destroyed, or fucked. Hopefully the latter. 

“You damned woman,” Vegeta spat, with a hand to your shoulder, pushing you against the cool floor, making you wince. “I’m fucking tired of your disgusting comments towards me, and now you come in here, interfering with my training!”

“I literally just came to check if you wanted to eat something…” You rolled your eyes, feigning innocence. 

“Repeat your exact words.” Vegeta pressed with narrowed eyes, digging his fingers harder on your shoulder.

“I go nuts over your candy ass…” You whispered very quietly, not because you were embarrassed, but you knew you’d laugh if you repeated it louder. “It was such an easy joke!”

“Vulgar woman!” Vegeta’s frown got deeper as his face got closer to you, and you shivered once you noticed how mad he truly was. “Vulgar pathetic little woman.”

“Ok, are you gonna keep insulting me?” You glared at him despite your nerves. 

“You deserve far worse.”

“I just said you had a cute butt! Bulma has said worse stuff, so why are you so mad at me?!”

A low growl rumbled deep inside Vegeta’s chest, and for a second you thought that was it, your life was over. But the hand on your shoulder moved swiftly towards your neck, only tightening to make you look at him with eyes wide open, still allowing you to breathe normally. Both of your hands went to grab his forearm on instinct, afraid he was actually going to choke you to death. 

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” 

“Huh?”

“I cannot stand the sight of you!” Vegeta raised his voice as his eyes got significantly darker. “You’re distracting, parading around in the most indecent tiny clothes, and you expect me to remain impassive!”

You arched your eyebrow as he went on; he was talking about the few times you bathed in the pool at Bulma’s house. But you didn’t even remember seeing him around then.

“And now you come in here, disturbing me with your presence-”

“I don’t understand.”

“Are you so dense you don’t speak your own language?” He retorted with a sardonic smirk. 

“You’re such a jerk, no! I mean I don’t get why you’re so pissed! I wasn’t even doing that ‘parading around’ on purpose! And if it bothers you so much, I won’t ever do it again!” You added, though you regretted it immediately. You wanted to use Bulma’s pool as long as it was available. 

Vegeta clicked his tongue in annoyance, averting his eyes for a brief moment before looking back at you. 

“You really are a stupid woman.”

Before you could open your mouth to insult him right back, Vegeta firmly pressed his body to yours, and as he stared into your eyes with a faint blush on his cheeks, you couldn’t help the choked out gasp from leaving your lips. 

He was hard. 

It was difficult not to notice as he pushed his crotch against your lower abdomen for a fleeting moment before pulling back, and curiosity invaded you. Was that why he was so pissed off? You had been unintentionally turning him on? You didn’t think he would pay so much attention to you, especially when you rarely even saw him; he spent most of his time training in the stupid gravity chamber you both were currently at. 

Apparently Vegeta had been looking at you much more than you thought.

“Is this your way of telling me you like me?” You asked, between shy and smug. 

“Like you?” Vegeta frowned, but you noticed how red the tip of his ears were. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Yeah, you say that, but you are the one pinning me down and pushing yourself onto me, so.”

The twitch in his eyebrow almost made you laugh if it wasn’t for the intense glare he had in his gaze. 

“You make it impossible for me to focus, your indecency is so disgusting-”

“I’m not even doing anything right now!” His hand around your throat squeezed lightly and swiftly, making you choke on the last syllable. You pouted, trying to push his buttons a little more. “So I make you hard on the regular, why is that bad?”

“Why is that-” Vegeta splurted, embarrassed. 

“Wanna show me?” You smiled, teasingly. 

Your hand on his forearm softly traveled up his arm and down his side, and your grin got wider when you noticed the blush expanding towards his face. Vegeta slapped your hand once it got to his waist and you couldn’t help but giggle. 

“You do not deserve to touch me.” Vegeta stated, still a little red, but obviously frustrated. 

“Maybe I should show you something myself then.”

When your hands slid down your front to grip your shirt, you expected Vegeta to stop you; he had been so scandalized when you tried to touch him that you figured he might prevent you from going further. But to your amusement, his eyes fixated on your moves as you pushed your shirt up until it was bunching up over your chest, presenting your breasts covered with lace. 

At least you put on a nice bra that day.

A sense of superiority washed over you when he didn’t avert his eyes. You didn’t think you would get his attention, but after everything he said you wanted to take a little advantage of him. 

You wanted to see him. 

“You’ve been thinking about me, haven’t you?” You started, looking into his eyes when his gaze met yours again. His eyebrow twitched, but he didn’t reply. “You pictured me underneath you like I am right now, right?”

“You have no idea what I’ve been thinking about.”

“Then tell me.”

You smiled slyly, though Vegeta remained surprisingly impassive. Aside from the blush that still adorned his face. He removed his hand from your neck, and you found that you would have liked it if he kept it there; there was something alluring about it. The fabric of his glove touched the exposed skin of your waist, a very chaste gesture, though his eyes were fixed on your boobs. 

“Do you touch yourself, Vegeta?” You asked when he stayed silent for longer than you expected. You were going to get something out of him, for sure. 

“To my own shame, yes.” He replied, completely serious. You didn’t think he would admit it so easily and without protesting. “More frequently every time you are around.” 

The resentment in his voice only amused you more; who would be so angry because they’re horny?

Probably someone who wasn’t getting laid. 

“You told me not to touch you, but I’m still showing myself to you, Vegeta.”

He didn’t need you to explain what you meant, his gaze growing darker as he took off his glove before pulling his pants down enough to expose his cock. Your eyes immediately darted downwards, looking at his cock with a gleam; he was hard and thick, thicker than you expected when he wrapped his hand around his own erection.

“Are you really offering yourself to me, woman? Are you that obscene?” Vegeta asked, mocking you.

“Vegeta, I’ve been teasing you all this time because you’re hot and I like you.” You looked him in the eye briefly, letting him know you were honest. “Not that you need the ego boost.”

“I could kill you.”

“But you’re touching yourself instead.”

A smirk formed on his face just as he started stroking himself. 

“I suppose I could use you, since you’re so kind to present your body to me like this.” Vegeta said, voice still surprisingly calm even though his moves over his erection were firm. “If you must know, you have been on my mind since I got here.”

Your eyes, that had been focusing on his hand as he masturbated, looked up at him. 

“I pictured you as you are now, completely subdued underneath me, and for once you’re too overwhelmed to even utter one word out of that dirty mouth of yours.”

You rolled your eyes; of course a guy like this would have a thing for control. And you don’t mind submitting every now and then, but not without putting up a little bit of a fight. It simply wasn’t in your nature to be docile. 

But you were currently trying to rile him up more, show yourself off to him so he could see what could be his if he simply made a little effort. So your hands skimmed across your tummy, steadily trailing upwards until you hooked your fingers underneath your bra before slowly lifting it up, your breasts bouncing free right in front of him. The sharp intake of breath Vegeta took was audible as he stared at your chest and it only made your sense of superiority grow larger. 

“You wicked woman…” He said, voice shaky as he picked up the pace, his hand moving in rough, fast tugs. “You’ve been tempting me on purpose this whole time.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” You answered with fake innocence, though you were sincere. 

“Liar.” Vegeta smirked, his breathing turning rugged with each move of his hand over his cock.

When you fixed your gaze on his cock, already leaking precum as his hand worked faster, you couldn’t help but press your thighs together, trying to create a little friction to alleviate your own arousal. Vegeta’s face was twisted, brows furrowed in a different way than usual, and the blush on his cheeks only made him look vulnerable, a contrast to his usual stoic demeanor. It was turning you on so much to see him like that, and the slick sounds produced from his own strokes was just adding fuel to the fire in your loins. 

You wanted to touch him so bad, and when the precum dripped onto your abdomen, you let out a breathy moan. His eyes were on your face, but you could only watch his hand moving firmly over his erection, trying to bring himself to completion, as more drops kept pooling around your belly. He was grunting and groaning surprisingly quietly, and you suspected that’s how he usually did it when he was alone. 

“You’re thinking about fucking me hard and fast, aren’t you? Maybe even using my tits instead of straight up putting it inside me.” You purred, pushing your breasts together, and making his eyes stare directly at your chest. 

“Is that what you want?” Vegeta asked between groans, smiling wickedly. “To be used by me?”

“Only if I get to use you as well.”

Vegeta let out what was probably a snort, attempting to dismiss your comment, but it only came out as a shaky grunt. He was getting louder and if you had to take a guess, he was just a few seconds away from coming. 

Emboldened by the sounds he was making and the expression on his face, you reached down with one of your hands, wrapping it carefully over the one he had around his cock. He didn’t push you away, only groaned, and let you move in sync with him. 

It only took a few harsh strokes to make Vegeta reach his end, and he growled louder and hoarser than ever before as he spilled his cum all over your stomach, a few droplets even reaching your chest, burning up your skin, making you moan. He let go of his cock then, but you didn’t, helping him ride out his high, moving your hand up and down carefully until he stopped leaking. He grunted and gasped, jaw tense and brows furrowed as he tried to catch his breath. 

You thought he was handsome before, but this side of him, the faces he had made the whole time, only made him much enticing, and you couldn’t wait to see more of him.

Vegeta looked at you with eyes still very much dark and clouded, and you could only smile. 

“Wanna know what I’ve been thinking about when I touch myself?” You asked him, hooking your fingers on the waistband of your pants to pull them down along with your completely soaked underwear. 

[fabaceous]

like guys shauna literally NEEDS jackie to be dead in order to have the (in shauna’s head) ideal relationship with her. i saw this amazing post once that i cannot for the life of me find again (but if anyone has it on hand pls attach below as a supporting document 👇) about how shauna’s main crime is passive aggressiveness, which is to say, she is completely incapable of facing anything directly so instead she puts it through 10 trillion layers of filters and it comes out super warped and toxic.

if we extend that logic to her own feelings towards jackie (which we absolutely should) then there’s no WAY she’s ever going to let herself directly “worship” saint jackie in a positive way, like in the sense of confessing her love for her or EVEN allowing herself to have a crush or EVEN being an exceptionally devoted friend. she can’t confront the bad but she can’t confront the good either. there IS genuine love there and shauna clearly wants to experience the feeling of worshipping jackie otherwise she wouldn’t go through all these contortions! but because shauna is shauna, the safest way for her to experience that feeling is by hurting jackie and then self flagellating about it and convincing herself that this is love. and jackie dying, arguably by shaunas own hand, is actually PERFECT for shauna. it literally gives her enough material for the rest of her life!

once jackie is dead and becomes - dare i say - frozen as the eternal and unchanging saint jackie, shauna is finally free to worship her forever and ever, without the possibility of jackie putting a stop to the vicious cycle by calling her out on it and forcing a confrontation that would lead to EITHER the end of their relationship OR a reckoning with their feelings and the creation a new kind of relationship that shauna is not prepared to have.

and in either of these scenarios she will ALSO be forced to reckon with both her and jackie’s faults and accept that they are both flawed but redeemable humans rather than Saint Jackie and Sinner Shauna. this is apparently such complicated and uncomfortable idea to shauna that she would literally rather worship her dead best friend than have to face it.

so anyway. yeah. shauna needs jackie to be dead because Sinner Shauna needs her Saint Jackie. normal relationship for normal people

[wordsvomit101]

This will be a short one, with credits to Hikifans (@shyanimeboi), and here is the link: https://twitter.com/shyanimeboi/status/1778300826995335505

I will use metaphors this, a lot of metaphors for the H-scenes if you're curious. Hopefully it Bible friendly.

Ok here we go

I could never be an MC, like I cannot be a player, I do not have the rizz to think of another man while rubbing another dude's abs like this

Well MC isn't wrong, I barely see his abs in his S card. The guy looks broad but I thought he wore baggy clothes the longer I look at him.

So Ppyong slipped into MC's clothes and touched her soft stomach and apparently, it might be MC's weak spot causing her huha be quaking and ya'll:

It might seem normal but think it is the regular Ppyong saying it. MC is stronger than me cause I would already be laughing at the images in my head

I'm so gonna draw this, but it gonna be Minhyeok wearing what he wears in my other fics-

Are we fighting???

"Was always careful with you"... in what??? In WHAT????

... I guess the reason why I like this ship so much is how it could work. It's weird, but it's not as weird as MC's romances. They literally felt like that side couple or ship in drama media that I often like more than the main couple. I'm also a sucker for the friends-to-lovers trope

WOAH OK- Sir you spend too much time with Sitri-

Wait- Hold up- MC has rizz- OMG they have rizz

YO she taco-ed her legs around his thighs and holding his waist and saying all this? Absurd- I could never- The girl got game

You don't have to call me out like that you know?

Idk why but it's kind of wholesome, his smile is so cute that it is hard to focus on the tension. Like that smile is a puppy smile but his hands do be parting MC's rear like Moses parting the Red Sea like- Bro is giving her booty a rubdown treatment

It can be somewhat flattering and comedic in fiction but it would be scary irl, but that's just me

I-🧍- Ihsbhjdabdsjbd- What? What do you mean by that?? *Shaking him on the shoulders* Ayo what do you mean by that??????

I need to calm tf down cause either I'm misreading and misunderstanding his words or the translation sucks but it could mean A FEW THINGS HERE SIR *(¬¬)🙄 bombastic,side eye(¬¬")(◔_◔)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)¬‿¬(ಡ᎔ಡ)( ͡º ꒳ ͡º)* and one of them is how you definitely want to be sandwiched between them-

Ok now this is the cringy smack metaphors territory, don't say I didn't warn you:

Ok so when I said his hands are kneading her double cheeks like dough I mean it, like he could rip both her pants and bum open right there-

Then he went on to ask if Minhyeok had ever seen her making her applesaucy face before and they were sweating because of their sitting marathon session with their hands and Ppyong dead ass told MC to lick his sweat to see if it was the same as Minhyeok.

And MC does what MC does, it doesn't matter if she doesn't know what Minhyeok tastes like, she sucks on Ppyong's face like he is the last ice cream cone in flaming summer. As if his face is a soft serve with zero net carbs, as if he is cannoli gelato, and her tongue is all over it, or in her words "like a dog that stuck his nose in a bowl as soon as the rein is released"

It tastes salty mixing with the sweet scent of flesh if you're wondering and she salivating all over his face. Going full Beelzebub on his face like she is slurping on the finest meal of her life. Hey at least, Ppyong enjoys it👍

Then when Ppyong asked if Minhyeok ever saw her this parched and MC recalled how Minhyeok always came into his room on time after she was done petting the cat, finding Nemo, sexy DIY, etc... you get the gist. MC speculated that Minhyeok was definitely outside waiting for her to be done like a peeping tom, you know, creeper behavior <3/jk

The thought makes MC dripping like a faucet, overflowing like a dam. Then they are back in their hands on investigating shenanigans and we get to the part where it would get the original poster banned on YouTube if they posted there. I also just gonna leave these here, MC is a player istg:

OK that's enough smut for this week bye-

[multifandom-26]

Maybe an angry sprit isn’t so bad S.W

Sam Winchester x female reader s1/s2 era Sam. No warnings I don’t think besides normal supernatural stuff and kissing. Let me know if it’s bad lol. Archeology reader AU.

Sam, Dean, y/n

7:48 A.M 📍the impala

Are we almost there at least? Sure are Sammy welcome to UWL he says looking ahead at the college campus. So dad sent us to this location because?. Because jerk it’s some sort of artifact that apparently caused a spirit to be stuck and pissed off. So what were just walk around campus asking hey who’s got any ancient artifacts lying around? Sam laughs. Dean sighs no, and I thought you were the smart one, but they have one of the best archeological programs in the U.S so maybe we find an archeology major who’s been on a trip recently. Sam nods, yeah I guess but how do we know who’s even apart of the program. don’t worry I’ll handle that just wait here. As Dean goes inside Sam sits in the car looking around, he gets a sad feeling and reminisces on his college time. He won’t admit it but he does wish he could’ve just done both or not hunted at all. Soon enough Dean comes back out with a list of names and addresses. They go from one dorm to another to an apartment complex and then to another one when they see from the street in front of it that the lights are going on and off. Sam looks up this must be our one. Dean laughs yeah or the electrician did a terrible wiring job. They head inside and get to the room number on the paper they knock then hear a few things slam around inside before a girl opens it. The boys look down at the girl and go are you Y/N Y/L/N she nods and responds with and you are? Dean clears his throat um we’re museum curators, and we heard you’ve got a very interesting piece of pottery. The girl nods still confused they can tell. Sam takes the lead now, as Dean is thinking. “May we come in” Y/N looks up at them, tell me why your really here first and maybe, you know stranger danger and all that but lying to? They laugh Dean smiles, you wouldn’t believe us if we told you even. Y/N smirks try me, I’m an archeology major I’ve heard of every urban legend, detailed myths, and cruses you could think of. They exchange looks, Dean just shakes his head and goes fine but we can’t just exactly say this shit in a hallway. She sighs and invites them in. Whatever was in here calmed down a bit at least.

8:23 am 📍y/n apartment

So you’re an archeology major what’s that like Dean asks. Sam rolls his eyes at his brother , y/n laughs um it’s pretty cool I get to go on digs in the summer last place I went was Serbia then Guam. Really Sam asks now more interested, yeah she smiles it’s amazing, you get to travel, research, and learn about the past which is all I’ve ever wanted to do. Dean smiles we uh kind of do that too, well not to your level but same idea. Sam clear his throat, you said you know about urban legends, myths etc.. what do you think this is? Y/N laughs slow down first who are you guys really, and why are you so interested in whatever is going on with the cursed pottery. Sam looks over to Dean and they just nod, well I’m sam and this my older brother Dean we uh.. we hunt the supernatural. Y/N laughs covering her mouth, uh sorry I didn’t mean to laugh but I knew you weren’t museum curators. Dean looks at her, you’re not freaked out? Not really she smiles it’s interesting besides it’s not my first run in with an angry spirit and awakening something. The boys both now are staring at her, in sync they go this happened before. Y/N shrugs I mean yeah kind of apart of the job. Now I have some books about the pottery piece where and whose it’s associated with so maybe that will help. But we cannot destroy it.

10:36 AM 📍 on the way to diner.

I’m so exhausted, and hungry, I feel like I haven’t eaten in days. . You literally ate this morning and We’re on our way to a literal diner right now if you didn’t remember Sam reminds him. Y/N sits in the back seat quietly and looks out the window and says to turn here and there when they need. They arrive and sit in a booth, what made you want to bring that thing back with you anyways and how did you get it through airport security? Y/N laughs, well it was cool and I was doing a report on it and I am supposed to bring it back to New York for the head researches to do whatever with it but I hit a writing and research block, and for the airport security I have an archeological pass for certain items to be brought through. You do need to get a shit ton of stuff signed through saying all of the info and they’re allowing you to take it out of the country. Dean smiles makes sense, Sam clears his throat so uh, a writing block he says. The girl sighs, yeah I mean it’s been days and I just can’t seem to say what I wanna say and my researching has not been the best. Do you think it’s because of the object Sam asks. She sighs I mean maybe but, I’m also just under a lot of stress right now too with finals and everything and I have one more semester before I graduate so it’s a bit nerve wracking. The boys both shoot her a look of sympathy at her words. Throughout the rest of their meal and chat Dean notices Sam staring at the girl, smiling, and being more bubbly than usual. They leave and head back to y/n’s apartment.

1:07PM 📍y/n’s place

The three sit and stare at the vase, y/n explains the history on it and then tells them she thinks it’s associated with the spirit, As there sitting and reading and writing on post it’s, the piece falls to the floor out of nowhere but dosent break. They sit still almost waiting for another thing to happen just make it sure it wasn’t a weird mishap. Then the lights flicker, and piece goes flying across the room and she appears. A woman, and at that an angry looking one. The boys start grabbing their stuff they make a salt ring around the woman as she just stands there staring at y/n. It then speaks the word return. Y/n is directly behind Sam and at hearing the woman’s words she grabs onto his arm out of fear. Sam feels it and his face heats up, but he smiles, don’t worry we’re not gonna let her get you. Or us. Dean yells do not forget we’re also here and apart of this now Sammy.. obviously sam rolls his eyes. The woman tries to move closer to them but is stopped by the salt ring. Return she says again. Y/N steps out, you return the woman yells again. Y/n picks up the pottery holding it, was this yours? The woman nods. Y/n smiles it’s beautiful, really amazing work. What’s your name? Sofia the woman replies, well Sofia you must have worked hard on this. The woman nods, as y/n is distracting her Sam and Dean start chanting and the woman groans than shrieks a black cloud coming out of her mouth and then she is gone. They all stand staring at where she was, nice work guys y/n smiles. Kinda our thing Dean laughs.

5PM 📍 the apartment

So I wanted to thank you guys for everything today, so… I made steak. Steak! Dean asks excitedly. Yes Y/n smiles. Thank you really, for all of this for helping, the food, and talking to her. Sam smiles. Y/N looks down blushing a bit oh it was nothing. They sit down and eat mindlessly chatting away. Telling Y/N about where they’ll be going next probably and she tells them she can’t wait till next week when finals are done and the summers hers. She is sad though she’s gonna miss them especially Sam, the one she couldn’t keep her eyes off, ever since he appeared in her doorway, the one who thought about her safety, laughed at her jokes, thanked her for the help. Sam… she was going to miss him for sure. Dean noticed her eyeing him as well at points, like now she seemed lost in thought and staring at him. You guys done with your plates, Dean asks getting up. Yeah you and Sam reply hanging them to him. Y/N speaks first, so you guys leave tomorrow morning? Sam sighs yeah, you know always moving. She nods. Y/n laughs I wish I could come, it sounds kinda fun what you guys do, heroic. Sam smiles, yeah me to it would be a refreshing break from having just Dean around. Speaking of him you laugh, where did he go? I thought to put the plates in the kitchen he would’ve been back by now my apartment isn’t big. He could’ve snuck out and went to the bar. Oh okay well it’s just me and you I guess than, do you want anything to dri- y/n gets cut off when Sam kisses her, shocked at first she then kisses back, deepening the kiss she puts her hands around his neck and scoots even closer to him. He wraps his arms around her waist, they break apart after a bit. Sorry he smiles I just I’ve been wanting to do that the whole day but I was nervous that you didn’t like me and I actually still don’t know but- hey she smiles I like you I’ve liked you since you walked through that door this morning. He smiles well in that case, he leans in and kisses her again.

9pm📍the couch

Sitting on Sam’s lap leaning against him, you’re both watching tv you are slowly drifting to sleep. The door opens with the key Dean swiped, Dean steps in and smiles silently pumping his fist, he pulls out his phone and snaps a photo.

7am the next morning:

Come with us when you’re finished we’ll drive back and pick you up even Sam states. The girl smiles, I mean you know it’s my summer, and I’m gonna do this she smiles. Sam hugs her, I can’t wait to see you again. Me to she sighs, I’ll miss you. The pair kiss before he gets in the car and the boys head off. Maybe having an angry spirit in your house isn’t so bad after all.

[avesmonster]

let's talk about KEPLER i have a theory that he got the eccentric half of his personality from jacobi. because he acts totally different depending on who he's talking to. first of all:

the way cutter says this implies that kepler never jokes around with them. he's like "YOU'VE got to be kidding cause that's nothing like kepler at all" even though we've all heard kepler tell that fuckign pig joke and also just about everything else he says in s3

and we know he's scared of cutter (this is when the sol manifests out of nothign)

and that he's ALWAYS been scared of cutter. throwback to kansas

so it makes sense he wouldn't be all silly goofy around Scary Man Number One (he also doesn't seem to be very unafraid of pryce. not even rachel is unafraid of pryce but that's a different topic). so he's only silly when he's COMFORTABLE...... and that said i'll circle back around to this later

first thing with jacobi i wanna point out is that he was the one who taught kepler questions only. which seems to be the best thing that has ever happened to kepler why is he so enthused about this game

and then at the end of no complaints

this really makes it sound like jacobi pranks kepler all the time but it's totally unthinkable that Kepler would ever prank him back. Jacobi is so astonished by this (and idk what the Duck Thing was but. whatever it is it apparently wasn't a prank)

anyway it would make sense that jacobi plays around at work a lot because. his profile literally says he does

and kepler seems to highly value this trait of jacobi's. first by enjoying his sarcasm and then when he tells eiffel that jacobi is a smart man for telling eiffel to lighten up

and all the way up to dirty work, kepler is his usual silly and irritating self. even when he's taken captive and down a hand, he keeps joking around. and playing twenty questions with people. and overall being a smug little jackass

until... dirty work happens. and something shifts in kepler. something MAJOR because once jacobi turns on him, his whole demeanor and brain chemistry changes in under 24 hours

he's completely serious after this. he has a few bantery lines but otherwise, he's all business, and he's SCARED, and he's not interested in joking around with anyone anymore. he's stuck pretending to be on cutter's side and that means he has to act NORMAL--apparently his "normal" doesn't include being a silly little man

and like,, he honest to god didn't think jacobi was upset with him. which is a whole other thing i could talk about but for the purposes of this argument, it really is the Exact Moment that he realizes he lost jacobi's support that his personality makes the shift. when he still THOUGHT jacobi was on his side, even after getting his ass kicked by everyone on the station and bob, after being completely humiliated he STILL acts smug and unserious. like i cannot overstate the shift that happens in this man during dirty work i really can't

so going back to kansas. which is the only scene we have of him before he met jacobi. he was very rigid, nervous, and angry. and that's ALL he was. also

he's just a man who wants to be taken seriously. apparently

which,, the life he built came at a pretty ridiculously steep cost. so yeah, i guess he WOULD want to be taken seriously. it's not like he has anything else

he's an empty shell. he's a manipulator, too--he knows how imitate people around him to make them comfortable. He emulates Cutter to the point of making his job his whole personality. It's not out of the question that he would pick up some personality traits from jacobi, the man who's been glued to his side for six years. especially when he's around jacobi and he's having fun. jacobi likes having fun!! so kepler can do that too!! he can imitate people and be just like a real boy!!

going back to no complaints once more, kepler is all business that whole time. other than when he gets really excited about questions only. and of course when it was revealed it was all a prank--even then he didn't do any kind of big reveal, he just?? "Yes I Pranked You" RIGID. happy though :) and that was only one year into knowing each other. he likes the games jacobi taught him and he liked playing that prank and he liked planning a,, frankly EXCESSIVE first anniversary party with his subordinate but i digress, he's still kinda flat in no complaints but it seems like he's having a bit of a shift?? he's having fun with jacobi. he doesn't have fun with anyone else--not really, not when jacobi isn't somewhere in the same building and on his side

and since jacobi has a whole philosophy about "work shouldn't be separate from play," it's implied that he plays pranks on kepler, and implied that he's always getting into trouble--idk, to me it really feels like kepler absorbed some of jacobi's personality over the years. for funsies <3

thanks for coming to my kepler talk he's all i ever think about

[dontcallmecarrie]

ye olde Stress(TM) Reaction strikes again, aka the start of this was sitting in my drafts for weeks because my brain hates me apparently:

.

“So...considering how last time went, why are we being dragged into this?” Steve Rogers heard Clint ask, and he tried not to freeze or blush, and, if Natasha was anything to go by, failed miserably at both.

“I mean,” Clint continued and it took far more willpower than it should have to not glare at the teammate who regularly ate whipped cream out of the can because he should not be sounding so amused, “after what happened, why are the Avengers being invited, again?”

Alright, that did it— but before Steve could do more than turn to give his teammate the same glare he normally reserved for when Loki destroyed the top part of his uniform again, Agent Coulson gave a very tired sigh and spoke.

“Partly because multiple ambassadors liked your response time when the pink elephants made an appearance on the premises, partly because von Doom specifically requested you all. By name.”

 Across the table, Tony gave an incredulous scoff as he leaned back and crossed his arms. “And what, you’re letting a literal dictator call the shots?”

“Grumpy because he mentioned you too, aren’t you.” Clint smirked before Agent Coulson could say anything else, and Steve really, really tried not to scowl. Honest.

However, he couldn’t help but notice the way Tony’s expression went suspiciously blank, and something in the pit of his stomach clenched as Tony shifted in his seat a little.

“Okay, so maybe we weren’t finished before Loki interrupted. I didn’t hear any of you guys complaining.”

“That was you ‘gathering intel’?” Natasha asked, and Steve pointedly ignored her sidelong glance, “I thought you were looking pretty friendly there. Way more emotion than we’ve ever seen from von Doom before, anyway.”

Steve couldn’t help but snort. Understatement of the century, Steve hadn’t missed the venom in von Doom’s glare. If not for Loki barging in when he did, there would have been an international incident, and Steve wouldn’t have regretted it one bit.

“As... controversial as he is,” Agent Coulson rubbed his temples for a moment, “Latveria’s a very hot commodity right now, and State Department’s pushing for trade agreements. We can’t afford to alienate him.”

Everyone looked at him, and he fought to keep his shoulders from rising up. “If he’s got a problem with one of my team, don’t expect me to play nice.”

“My hero,” Tony rolled his eyes and so missed the way Clint’s shoulders shuddered, “Steve, I had it under control.”

“Nay, lord Stark.” Thor cut in, and Steve did not miss the way Agent Coulson’s eye twitched even as Clint got a very sudden and convenient coughing fit as the resident alien continued, “I am afraid you did not. I may not be familiar with Midgardian politics, but I do not believe duels are as acceptable here as they are back home.”

Everyone paused at that, and the silence was abrupt enough to startle Doctor Banner out of his reverie.

“Wait, what happened?” He asked, looking up from his tablet, and Steve couldn’t help but envy the fact that he was exempt from this. Sure, the risk of having the Hulk at a UN function would have been nothing less than a recipe for disaster, but at least Steve wouldn’t be suffering though this alone— case in point, this entire debrief.

“Oh, just how Tony almost caused an international incident last time.” Natasha said and Bruce made a strange face for a second before he peered over his glasses to look at everyone else around the table.

“Well, is Justin going to be at this next one?”

All eyes were now on Tony, who scowled and looked away even as he replied, “It’s one of the annual year-end fundraisers, of course he’s going to be there.”

Agent Coulson let out a slow breath. “You are certain you cannot convince him otherwise?”

Tony’s shoulders hunched almost imperceptibly. “It’s tradition at this point. Everyone knows I’m going to be there, so he’s going— and I’ll save us both the time, the man’s about as stubborn as I am.”

“You’re sure about that?” Clint asked, gaze suddenly sharp and the look he shared with Agent Coulson and Natasha abruptly reminded Steve of the exact circumstances in which Iron Man was born.

“The number things I’ve seen him accomplish out of sheer spite is...” Tony trailed off, before he shook his head and looked around the table. “It’s something. Pretty sure the only reason Hammer Industries didn’t come out with another element after I did is because it’d be breaking the laws of physics, and even then part of me was half-expecting otherwise.”

[professorhayforbreath]

so episode 5. all my thoughts

we picked up where the last one left off, good start

annabeth saying she knows percy isn't dead... how. to annabeth and grover there should have been no way percy was alive and finding out he was should've been so emotional but instead she was like dw i know he's not dead lol. it's kind of... lazy writing? like how are you gonna write a scene as gut wrenching as percy trapping himself with a monster and telling his friends to complete the quest without him because he's actively dying and has no reason to believe he'll survive, and then make the fallout of that so... nonchalant? idk if it's a time limit thing but that was so underwhelming to me

annabeth being the one to see the fates... no

fugitive percy enjoyers at least we won!!!!

the trio peeking over the road barrier at ares was cute goofy silly i liked that :)

gabe on the news shit talking percy i'm hooting and hollering!! "i really-- WE really loved that car" and "i'm gonna kill him". excellent. now put percy on the news fake crying about his "loving" stepfather i believe in you

i did want them to acknowledge annabeth's lack of experience with the world outside camp but having her say "i've never seen any kind of movie" has gotta be one of the weirdest ways they could've done that

the turnstile scene was cool i guess but as we go on i'm more and more conscious of how many episodes are left and how much plot there is to get through and idk i feel like this scene could've hit the cutting room floor and we wouldn't have lost anything

i do love the ambience of the park though. maybe i'm easy to impress because the aesthetic of an abandoned amusement park is just fantastic on its own but the set was very cool. wish it wasn't so dark so i could've actually seen it ❤️

percy and annabeth having a serious conversation with 'what is love' blaring in the background is sending me

first ever seaweed brain dropped! i liked the way they did it, it felt natural

actually back to the "i've never seen a movie" thing. you're telling me that in this version of the story, in which frederick chase was apparently a great dad who treated annabeth like a gift, he never took her to the movies? or she never watched one on tv? she had a whole seven years of life in the real world before going to camp and she's never seen a movie

annabeth isn't allowed to have fears she's too smart for that apparently

i think the scene with the chair was overall well executed with some great lines and fantastic acting but... idk. they really scrapped the original scene just to do what they already did last episode. i miss the spiders i miss hephaestus tv. it felt redundant to have percy sacrifice himself again. percy this is the second time today you've been like "no dw i'll just die" do you need to talk to someone

annabeth disillusionment arc complete already? calm down guys this is season one

ZOO TRUCK ZOO TRUCK ZOO TR

so it's confirmed the reason they go into the lotus casino is BECAUSE hermes is there :/ they said these literal children cannot fall for tricks and traps it's too unrealistic

not much to say about the grover and ares scenes bc i don't know what to make of them. i didn't mind them. ares had some funny lines. i guess my only complaint is that the grover i know would not have been so calm talking to the god of war. i'm curious to see where that cliffhanger leads

is it just me or did the pacing improve a little bit this episode?

despite how negative i sound i enjoyed episode 5 a lot more than episode 4. there are still so many weird changes, additions, and omissions though. honestly i think a big part of the reason i enjoyed this one is because i'm not expecting anything anymore. i'm not getting my hopes up about them adapting the book normally i'm just intrigued by this thing like a scientist observing an experiment. like hmm what are they doing now? fascinating *takes notes*

[theygotlost]

ok. here is my attempt to make a coherent post about the watch bbc.

my main reaction, over and over again watching the first episode, is: CHOICES WERE MADE. truly inscrutable choices for which I cannot possibly understand the rationale or thought process. If I was adapting discworld for the screen, it would ever in a million years occur to me to make these choices. some of these choices include, in no particular order:

cut-me-own-throat dibbler is a white woman with dreadlocs who uses a wheelchair. I can NOT make this up.

vetinari is also a woman. .....I have nothing else to say about this.

instead of a dragon sanctuary, sybil runs some kind of femdom petplay sex dungeon for bedraggled old men. including vimes. and this is how they meet. she traps him in her sex dungeon.

she's also skinny and average height. I repeat: sybil ramkin is SHORTER THAN VIMES.

the actor playing vimes does have a very vimey look about him I won't lie, I even like his little fauxhawk hair situation, but his performance is completely baffling. he's always making an over-the-top jim carrey face but doesn't sell it nearly as well as jim carrey so it's just awkward and not funny.

vimes' accent is also completely unplaceable. I swear it's different in every single scene. sometimes american, sometimes irish, sometimes an american doing a bad impression of an irish accent or vice versa. watching @fealtyfaggot (irish)'s face in real time as he tried to calculate this man's accent was entertaining to say the least.

honestly, every actor sounds like the director instructed them to do an irish accent except they're all bad at irish accents so they all sound weird in their own unique way.

goodboy bindle featherstone is a normal-sized, horrible cgi lizard and sybil uses him like a handheld flamethrower.

the series is attempting (and FAILING) to adapt the events of guards! guards! and night watch simultaneously. carcer is killmongerfied into a black man (not raceblind casting as ciarán pointed out to me, they specifically put out a casting call for a black actor) who is justifiably angry at the police system. and he's carcer. so he's still the main antagonist and a crazed serial killer. he's the bad guy.

john keel was also black and vimes is white, so while it doesn't actually happen in the first episode it seems apparent that CARCER will end up being the one to impersonate keel?!

AND carcer was best friends with vimes and they had some kind of ~history~ together where there was some kind of dramatic betrayal and vimes attempted suicide(?). what

I guess dwarves are.... not short? cheery is normal human height.

carrot's tragic backstory where he was thrown down a mineshaft as a baby (I laughed out loud when he said this) and his adoptive dwarf parents sent him to join the watch cause they hate him and are trying to get rid of him.

just...... why the cyberpunk angle? discworld isn't the most traditional, historically accurate medieval fantasy out there and it's not supposed to be, but.... WHY CYBERPUNK?

I almost forgot: colon and nobby are completely absent.

my only question after watching this is WHY. WHY WHY WHY WHY. why is this a discworld adaptation? why did they decide to adapt discworld in this way? there is absolutely no respect or appreciation for the source material or understanding of what makes it good. whoever came up with this does not seem to like discworld very much at all. every single second of these 42 minutes was a slap in the face.

If this was just its own show, not related to discworld in any way, it would still be pretty bad. But I could still see it having a cult following you know? there would for sure be a niche tumblr fandom for it. the best thing I can say about this show is that it would have been good if literally everthing about it was different.

[kaixserzz]

Hope you've had a great day so far 💓 ( ˃ ⩌˂)∡ because I am NOT!! I'm feeling quite saddened 😓 anyways,, eat THIS‼️

Dottore adores you in ways that cannot be told, all for reasons he himself won't even bother to explain, but you understand him wholly even if he is hard to understand at times. Dottore does care for you in other ways and you notice it, even if he won't verbally state that he cares about you he does express his emotions and words to you in acts of service or quality time. His place as a fatui Harbinger takes up days worth of his time but even he has an issue detaching from his work, for you though? He'd make time. Even if Dottore has loads of responsibilities that the fatui entrust to him as a Harbinger, it's only his own experiments that would him away from you. As he derives his knowledge and satisfaction from his personal work, he can enjoy your presence and antics in the same area. So Dottore had never really without you and you're never without him, not even the fatui can come between you two. As said before, he's never explicitly stated that he caters to your needs because he cares, but you can sense it. That's just how Dottore is, are you contempt with this? Yes. You understand how hard he works, you know how dedicated he is to his work. You've known since you both had attended and shared a dorm together in the Akademiya, this was the way he showed you his affection. You're both contempt with how your relationship is.

As his assistant, though, you still take on many heavy duties aswell. Even you're not safe from the hard labour of the fatui. This leads to some unwanted separation between you and Dottore. You'll be in a whole other continent for a mission and poor Dottore would be left in the lab all alone with his segments! He misses you dearly and it's very apparent. He becomes more antsy and more argumentative, all as he spares no one of his wrath. So with his increase in vindictiveness? Yikes. Even his segments start acting up more just like their creator.

You have no clue of this. You're never informed of this behaviourism. You've never seen Dottore act in such a way because of your absence. Truth be told, though Dottore has a huge temperament and can easily snap at anyone for the most minor of issues, he actually makes an effort to tone those traits of his down, for you. Do you know about this? Maybe. Fellow subordinates have told you of his change of attitude with you nearby, favoritism is what they claimed, in which hearing that made you feel even more assured of Dottore's love for you, but you weren't sure of how he acted when you weren't there, so you had guessed that he is probably just the same as always, just being himself.

Oh, how wrong you are to assume that Dottore would be acting normal without you. You're his person! You are the only one he's ever given a second glance to when back in the Akademiya. You're the reason why everything hasn't gone to hell yet in his lab! Why? Because you are literally the only person who can calm him when he does get pissed off or stressed out.

So when you're back and everything looks the same, you are never more than oblivious to his indifference towards your departures, he actually doesn't do this often as he keeps you cooped you in his lab as much as possible.

.　₊ ✦ .　 + .✦ ₊ ㅤ.✦

Sorry for any typos or mistakes, I am writing this all on phone (- ‸ - " )

I just love the idea of Dottore missing us while we're gone, he just seems like the type to be so cold and demeaning but also the most attentive and yearning for us 😞❤

Does this count as a request? Because I'd love to see you write this in your own style Kai!! I wrote this with male reader in mind ૮꒰ ៸៸៸៸ ก꒱১

- 🐠

AAAA 🐠 ANON THIS IS LITERALLY HOW I WRITE DOTTORE

in my head, dottore is so obsessed with you and he doesn't even realize this :( he's super in love and clingy in his own way that when you leave for a while, he doesn't know why he's so pissy AHAHAHA he thinks its because someone is annoying him so some poor fatui soldiers meets the end of his wrath for absolutely no reason ..

but i swear dottore is SOOO different when he's with you!! it just, kinda stuck since you've known each other so long, its just comes off so natural that you both dont even notice it!! dottore coos at you while he caresses your cheek? not weird at all, but for others it is! you lightly punch him in the arm? just something you usually did especially back at the akademiya. i think it'd be funny if you're like "my baby ain't that bad" because you have no idea how he acts when you're away 🥺🥺

when you're away, he'd always go to your shared chambers and just look at the pictures you've framed of the two of you together... or he'd be too distracted to continue on with his projects just thinking about you... he could be doing something, then something pops up and makes him think about you and he's distracted for the whole day :3 he says he's not into the sappy nostalgic bullshit because it's a waste of time but between you and him? he reminisces more of the past than you actually do. he just remembers them so clearly!! like it just happened yesterday!! each touch and affections etched so deeply into his mind it's impossible to forget !! he's romantic in his own ways i guess..

and when you come back?? he'd always complain if you don't come greet him first!! he's soo jealous when you greet the segments before him.. but he's suupperr touchy and refuses to let you leave his side for the rest of the week :3 you're not gonna receive any order from the fatui for a while and you're staying with him and him only!! to make up for the time you were goen yk??? but he's 10000% deny he misses you. well, depends on his mood!1

ik you said rq nonnie but YOU KINDA LAID IT ALL OUT FOR ME!! so i just added my thoughts ^^ srry :( BUT I WILL WRITE A DOTTIE FIC FOR YOU <3