#i literally have like 5 more after scrolling on his account for like 3 minutes 😭

[butchniqabi]

small collection of rob halford in cat shirts (bc of tumblr's mobile photo limit) from his instagram

[dasmores237]

Throughout the phases

I’m sure if you’ve been on my account or scrolling through the oddly dead Murdoc tag on here you’ve seen my OC Marilyn so I’ve decided to explain a bit here and explain through the phases!

Marilyn was an accident to be blunt. She was a mishap between Murdoc and a prostitute in Mexico, born some time around 2002. Her mother didn’t have the funds nor the time or patience to take care of her so she decided leaving her with her biological father was a good idea so she flew all the way to the UK and left the 3 year old there in 2005 forcing him to take responsibility and take care of the thing. He was extremely opposed to this and heavily entertained the idea of putting her up for adoption but ended up siding against it last minute due to the similarities between his childhood and how he came to live with his father. He decided he wanted to be better than that man and kept her ever since.

Phase 2: When she first came to live with the group she was a introverted but polite child. She didn’t talk much and would often motion for something she wanted rather than asking. This was mostly due to the fact that she had a limited vocabulary since her mother was Hispanic and spoke a mixed verity of Spanish and English to her and she didn’t know what one to use. Thankfully Murdoc knew Spanish so he could understand and talk to her but quickly they taught her English. She opened up a bit during this time and became very comfortable around her family and never wanted to be away from them. She took a strong liking to 2D as if he were her uncle and this made Murdoc extremely jealous. She also liked Noodle a lot since she was around her age a bit more and loved Russel. She talked a lot more during this time and became very clingy and wanted to be held and carried a lot by others for comfort. This was a bit annoying on the surface to her father but deep down he found it endearing. She often had to go to sets where they were recording videos for and was in the crowd of kids for Dirty Harry and refused to go on the set for Feel Good Inc because the laugh scared her. She also was the inspiration for the title of the song El Mañana.

Phase 3: After the fiasco of El Mañana and the group splitting up, Murdoc took his daughter and set off, the two finding plastic beach and staying there. Murdoc admittedly left the 5 year old alone with Cyborg Noodle who, surprisingly, turned out to be a great babysitter, but Marilyn was still scared of her since she was afraid of robots and she wasn’t the “Real Noodle”. Murdoc returned with 2D and forced the man alone down in the basement as a sort of torture since he was afraid of whales. Marilyn adventured down there one day while Murdoc was pre-occupied and was overjoyed to see her uncle again, secretly keeping the man company any chance she got. She eventually warmed up to Cyborg Noodle but still was afraid of her and wanted her real aunt back. She was in the car during Stylo in the backseat with Cyborg and helped her dad write Melancholy Hill late one night by sleepily wandering around the room and shouting out rhymes to words he would read aloud to himself. She was overjoyed to learn Noodle was alive and was the first to hug the woman when she arrived on the island with Russel, thankful her odd little family was alive and together again and they were able to return home. However While Murdoc was in prison yet again, her mother had to come and take care of her. Her mother wasn’t the best and after staying with her for 2 years she couldn’t take it anymore and the minute she heard her dad had parole and moved in with Albarn she got in contact with him and begged him to let her stay with her father or literally anyone else. Unable to say no to such a desperate offer she went back to saying with her dad who she claimed was “Like a new person. In a good way I think.”

Phase 4: Not much happened during this time except for the haunted house which quite literally disgusted and freaked the young teen out so bad she opted to just sleep in the car despite her father’s protests. When the group returned to the car the next morning Noodle claimed Marilyn was the only one with common sense in the whole group. Marilyn said it was only because of the horror movies she and 2D watched back on Plastic Beach. During this time one of 2D’s kids asks to meet up with their dad and connect with him. 2D agrees and meets his daughter Sonia. The others are worried about the two meeting up since Murdoc and 2D had such a bad past but Marilyn and Sonia instant take to each other extremely well and become close friends, almost like family and stay in contact throughout the phases.

Phase 5: now 15, Marilyn was very moody during this time. This was around what felt like the 100th time her dad had gotten arrested and she felt upset that he had been “replaced” by Ace. She didn’t talk much to the green man or anyone for that matter and opted to just stay in her room for majority of this time. Others claimed she was a like a “more polite version of her dad” during this time. The only time to group got her to crawl out of her sad little hole was for Humility where 2D taught her how to roller skate. She eventually warmed up to Ace and considered him a friend but she still missed her dad and felt a bit betrayed and lost by the situation. Russel knew she was dealing with her own mental issues at the time and attempted to help comfort her, but it didn’t do much to help. She still appreciated it though. She begged Noodle to let her go with her to get her dad but Noodle refused because it was too dangerous and Russel had to keep her in his sight at almost all times because she tried to set off on her own twice, being as stubborn as Murdoc himself.

Phase 7: Now 18, During the time that Murdoc was rambling on about the occult, Marilyn generally thought he had lost his mind. Or was drunk. While living with her mother during her father’s arrest back in phase 4, Marilyn had taken up Christianity and refused to sway for a cult. Murdoc secretly hated the fact that her religion was literally what his hated, but never forced her or told her to stop believing in it. He felt disappointed she wouldn’t join, claiming “all cults lead to trouble in the end”, but didn’t fight her on it since everyone else was joining anyway. Murdoc wasn’t the only one who found love during this time however. Whereas Murdoc was simping for Moonflower, Marilyn met a girl who lived across the road from them who she later found out was named April. The two became friends and often while her father and family was doing cult stuff, Marilyn would go over to April’s house and hang out with her, trying to fight the fact that she was in love with this girl. Later during the Silent Running video she was with the group fighting off the others but she didn’t know how to fight, so she picked up a broken off pipe from the group and opted to beating them to death with the weapon instead. Oddly enough this worked remarkably well. Murdoc later claimed that it was most likely due to the fact that she had a lot of pent up emotions she was venting out with each swing. Or it was the softball she took as a child. Later in the Cracker Island video she was an emotional wreck for lack of a better term since Russel was out of it, Murdoc was nowhere to be seen, 2D was higher than a kite, and Noodle was constantly trying to call people to help. She didn’t cry or anything, but she sat handcuffed to a chair with a “Distraught and confused look on her face” as claim by 2D. She looked absolutely disgusted when her dad kissed and went on a date with the woman who attempted to sacrifice her uncle and didn’t talk to him for a day or two after that. Before the group left the area however, with the help of Noodle, she asked April out. She nervously dodges the questions if asked if they’re dating or not, seeming embarrassed by the situation.

GOD THAT WAS A LOTTA WRITING my lord if y’all read through that I’m glad I caught your interest! I have posts of her and art of her in my account when she’s in phase 7!! I am planning on drawing the other phases soon! I left out phase six because it wasn’t very important in the grand scheme of things lol. Let me know your opinion!! Thanks! -Izzy

[pancakes4two]

ANYWHERE WITH YOU - FOUR

NAVIGATION | MASTERLIST | TALK TO ME

wc: ~2.4k

warnings: none! but this is an angsty oneeeee

preview: Harry lets out another laugh at that, the remainder of the awkwardness between the two of you dissipating into the air. “We’ve gotta stop doing this whole hot-and-cold friendship thing, Y/N. I miss you too much whenever you refuse to talk to me.”

A slight knot in your stomach forms at that, because you’re not sure if he’ll ever truly understand why you have a tendency to pull away from him when your feelings become too complicated to manage. You swallow down the discomfort and smile at him comfortingly. There’s no way you’d be able to put anything into words right now. Instead, you let yourself believe that the answering grin Harry flashes you is enough, for now.

✽ ✽ ✽

a/n: i added songs to the story playlist, if that’s something you’re interested in exploring! each track that i add will be associated with a certain scene: i highly recommend listening in the background as you read to help immerse yourself into the story.

the songs for this update are:

can’t we be friends - sonny stitt quartet (when y/n is waiting for harry to come home)

futile devices - sufjan stevens (when y/n and harry have a tough conversation over dinner)

you can find the songs for the last 3 updates here!

✽ ✽ ✽

By the time autumn rolls around, you and Harry have settled into a comfortable routine. This is why you find it so weird when you come home after work one evening, and your best-friend-turned-insufferable-roommate is nowhere to be found. You’d come to expect to see him in the apartment whenever you returned to the apartment from NYU—he’d told you early on into his stay here that he was trying to treat writing more like a 9-to-5 job this go-around, instead of staying in the studio well past midnight or pulling all nighters at Tom’s place like he had when he was working on the first two records. 

You remember responding by saying something stupid like, “If you want to spend time with me that badly, all you had to do was ask. Don’t pretend to want to be a responsible musician all of a sudden because you miss being around me.” It was played off as a joke, as is most of what you say to Harry on a day-to-day basis. But really, what you had wanted to say was you were glad he still wants to be in your presence after all this time, and that he appreciates it enough to try and work out a balance between spending time with you (his average, university-employed childhood friend) and creating work that his livelihood quite literally depends on. That’s a weird thought to grapple with—the knowledge that the world’s biggest pop-star likes to spend his Monday evenings in with you, ordering greasy food from the $2 pizza place down the block and proceeding to spill diet soda on your couch instead of out partying past three with the rest of the music industry. All of this is to say it catches you off-guard when you step into the entryway and there’s no six-foot-tall man sinking into the cushions of your couch, scrolling through some artsy Instagram account and stealing from your pantry.

Your first instinct is to pull out your phone, which you hadn’t looked at since you left the office—the service on the C is spotty at best, and your dad has waxed poetic to you about not walking distracted for as long as you can remember—so you hadn’t spared a glance at the device for at least the past forty-five minutes. Flipping it over to turn it on, you see three missed messages from Harry on the screen:

HS: Are you on your way home already? Gonna be back a bit late tonight—wanna wrap up this song. Sorry for not telling you earlier!

Will pick up Chinese on the way to make it up to you though, can you send me the address of the place we ordered from last week? 

Don’t miss me too much.

You roll your eyes at the last text, which was accompanied by a gif of a golden retriever waiting sadly next to a door for their owner.

You are truly the most obnoxious person I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing.

181 Bleecker Street.

Don’t get recognized!

HS: Hey… this isn’t my first rodeo.

Thanks for the address. Be back around 8.

(Received by you, 6:50 PM)

With dinner settled, you decide to try and pass the time by being somewhat productive. There are a couple of unread emails you hadn’t gotten the chance to answer before leaving campus, so you tackle those first. The first one is from a student asking you for an extension on an essay, which you happily grant—it’s the time of the semester where exams are in full swing, and you’re not deluded enough to think that your class is at the top of your students’ priorities—it’s an introductory English lecture, after all. There are more important things for them to deal with. That analysis on Walt Whitman can wait, and besides, you’re sure your TAs will be more than happy to put off grading an additional essay for another week.

The second email at the top of your inbox is a little less typical. It’s from Claire, Julian’s CC’d on it, and the subject reads: Requesting Your Presence At Dinner Tonight. You click onto the message, laughing at how needlessly formal it is when you skim over the first few lines.

Lovely Y/N,

Julian (copied onto this email) and I have discussed and agreed that our daily lunch-hour rendezvous are not sufficient; we need to spend more time in your presence. We cordially invite you to dinner tonight, at a restaurant and time of your choosing. 

We are more than happy to work around your schedule. Please respond at your earliest convenience.

Looking forward to dining together,

Claire (and Julian)

As you’re reading through the email, you realize that you have been spending less time with Claire and Julian now that your unexpected houseguest has practically turned your life upside down. You think through your options in your head: you would like to go to dinner with Claire and Julian, use the opportunity to get away and maybe weasel a few free drinks out of Julian, who you know has gotten paid recently. On the other hand, you also really want to stay in and have dinner with Harry tonight. You like knowing that he’ll come through your apartment door at eight sharp, most likely earlier, because he hates being late, his arms full with takeout boxes because he knows exactly what you like to order from this place—but also that you have a twenty-year old habit of stealing his food. It makes you feel a little juvenile, acknowledging the fact that you miss him enough to want to stand up your friends for him, even though you’ve spent the past ten evenings together. Maybe it’s because you’re too afraid of ruining this tentative dynamic that’s developed between the two of you. Your friendship now is arguably the closest it’s been since he left for the X-Factor so long ago–is it so bad that you want to do everything you can not to mess that up?

In the end, you find that your instinct makes your decision for you, leading your fingers to start typing up a response before your brain even gets a chance to catch up.

My dearest Claire and Julian,

So sorry but I’m going to have to take a raincheck on dinner. Promised my roommate we’d eat together tonight. Missing your presence too. Give me a time next week and I promise I’ll be there!

Bestest,

Y/N

Claire’s response lands its way into your inbox in record time. She assures you that it’s no big deal, says she’s glad you’re spending so much time with your roommate since she & Julian were so worried before that they’d be a serial killer. You agree to meet up next week for tacos at a new restaurant that just opened beside her apartment. A glance at the kitchen clock tells you that it’s now 7:30. Harry should be back soon, so you turn on an episode of Friends and start to mindlessly organize some of your class files.

At 7:55, you hear the door unlock. The sight of Harry slipping out of his shoes (those awful, beat-up Vans that you keep trying to convince him to throw away) and placing them next to your loafers on the shoe rack makes you feel a lot happier than it probably should. You were right before: he’s double-fisting two carry-out bags that are nearly filled to the brim with boxes, and he’s got a bottle of white tucked under his arm.

Making his way over to the dining table and placing the items down, Harry pulls out a chair and starts unboxing everything. 

“Which episode is this?” He asks. You turn the volume on the TV down slightly and walk over to help him, watching steam waft out from the two containers of white rice he just opened.

“They’re fighting over Monica’s apartment,” you say, while Rachel and Chandler start bickering in the background. You reach for the white wine as Harry walks over to the kitchen and pulls two glasses out of the cabinets. As he makes his way back, you hand him a pair of chopsticks.

“A fitting episode,” Harry hums, splitting open the chopsticks and rubbing them against each other to get rid of splinters. He passes a box of orange chicken over to you, which you happily dump over your rice. “Once I’m done with this whole album thing, I’m thinking of battling you for this apartment. I’ve grown quite fond of it.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” you gasp, watching him take a bite out of a fried eggplant slice. “I think I’d actually kill you if you tried to do that.”

“Come on, I’ll write you a check for five million for this place and we’ll call it even,” Harry retorts, pushing his plate towards you when he notices you reaching for his broccoli. “A lot of people would appreciate that kind of money from me, you know.”

“Is this who you’ve become?” you tut, taking a sip of wine. When you lift the glass, you notice a ring of condensation forming on the wood of your table.

“I mean, you wouldn’t even have to leave,” Harry continues, “just like, sign the ownership over to me or whatever and we can keep living here together. I’m being serious. Honestly, like… I’ve felt more at home staying here this past month than I have in so long.”

The sincerity in his voice catches you off guard. You’ve always known Harry to be quite an open person, certainly more open than you ever allowed yourself to be, but him expressing something like this to you, admitting that your presence was enough to make him feel at home was rare. Your friendship was built more on playful insults and sarcastic quips than genuine displays of affection for one another. Your finger traces the outline of the condensation on your table while your eyes look down to follow the action, afraid to meet his gaze.

“You don’t have to own this place to stay here, you idiot,” is what you opt to say for now, “it’s not like I’m planning on kicking you out anytime soon. Though you certainly drive me close to that point, multiple times a day.”

Harry says nothing in response, just smiles. You hadn’t noticed he was holding tension in his shoulders, but they relax a little too. You’re not sure why he tends to get insecure about sharing a space with you still, but you choose not to question it–for now. You’re just glad that you were able to reassure him in your own weird way. 

“Can I ask you something, though?” Harry says, around a bite of sesame tofu.

You look up at him and nod, unsure of where the conversation is heading.

“Why did you stop calling so often these last two years?” Harry ends up saying, after clearing his throat. He drums a quiet rhythm into the table while waiting for you to respond, but he gets impatient and adds, “Like, did I do something to make you think I didn’t want to be friends anymore? Or did you get busy after moving to the city?”

So the theme for tonight is apparently vulnerability, you think to yourself. You take a deep breath before responding, because honestly, you’re still not quite sure what changed in your friendship either. You do know that it was probably your fault, though. 

“I was trying to settle in here after the move, and it took longer than I thought. Guess I ended up prioritizing my relationships here as a result, and it didn’t really help that you were never home when I’d go back to Holmes Chapel for the holidays.”

And yeah, maybe that last part was a little unfair of you to say, but shifting a part of the blame onto Harry is infinitely easier than telling him a portion of the truth, which is: I got tired of listening to you write love songs about girls who weren’t me, and hearing you call other people your best friend in the media—even though we both agreed it would be easier to keep our friendship private. Selfishly, I got angry, and a little bit hurt. I thought, if you were so sure that any of them could ever know you as well as I do, then it’d be easier for me to move on and find other people who would understand me like you do, too.

Harry bristles a bit at that. “You know it’s not easy for me to make time to go home. It’s been that way for so long. You never let that bother you before.”

“I know,” you say, chewing on your lip, “but it wasn’t just me who let us drift apart. You stopped calling after a while, too. You used to check in all the time, regardless of how busy you were. But maybe that was because I was always the one to reach out first. Once I stopped sending you messages, I stopped hearing back from you.”

“I thought you wanted space,” Harry replies, “I never meant to make you feel like I didn’t value our friendship as much as you do. I care so much for you, Y/N, nothing could ever stop me from caring for you. Truly.”

“I’m sorry,” he adds on with a laugh, trying to ease the tension, “you know I’ve always been shit at communicating. It reminds me of when we used to fight as teenagers. All this stepping around each other’s toes probably could’ve been avoided if we just talked.”

“You’re probably right,” you sigh, scrunching your nose at him, “but oh well. You know I’m a shit communicator too. It’s all in the past now, anyways. At least we’re here together now. And you’ve grown up enough to know when you owe a girl Chinese food.”

Harry lets out another laugh at that, the remainder of the awkwardness between the two of you dissipating into the air. “We’ve gotta stop doing this whole hot-and-cold friendship thing, Y/N. I miss you too much whenever you refuse to talk to me.”

A slight knot in your stomach forms at that, because you’re not sure if he’ll ever truly understand why you have a tendency to pull away from him when your feelings become too complicated to manage. You swallow down the discomfort and smile at him comfortingly. There’s no way you’d be able to put anything into words right now. Instead, you let yourself believe that the answering grin Harry flashes you is enough, for now.

✽ ✽ ✽

a/n: no flashback this update! but hopefully i did deliver on the angst. trust me when i say there is a lot more coming, lol. also we have officially surpassed 10k words on this series, which is crazy to me. thank you all so much for reading & enjoying, it makes me so happy to be back writing long fics. please let me know your thoughts so far because i would love to hear them.

taglist (message me to be added): @daydreamingofmatilda​ @onceuponahuntersrealm​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @grapejuice-rry​ @b-reads-things​ @lomlhstyles​

[uvobreakmylegs]

The Sixth Floor Game

heavy inspiration from the Elevator Game, as well as the Three Kings Game and a little bit of Silent Hill 3

demon!Shalnark

Warnings: blood, death, kidnapping

The Sixth Floor Game is a ritual that will put you into contact with otherworldly forces and, if done correctly, can take you to a world that exists outside of our own. To play this game, you must follow all of the instructions that have been written below. Take care to remember all of them, as one mistake could result in death.

First you must enter a dark and empty building that has an elevator and only five floors in between the times of 3 and 4 AM. The only items you can bring with you are a fully charged cellphone, an item of sentimental value to you and an offering for the demon.

It is not recommended that you give an offering that bares any resemblance to that of a clown or magician.

When you enter the elevator, you need to ride it up to the 5th floor and leave the offering just outside the elevator doors and then head back down to the 3rd floor. When you reach the 3rd floor, you then need to exit the elevator and use your phone to call the last person in your call history. The game begins when you call that number.

When the line is picked up, you must say “I want to visit the 6th floor”.

Be warned that at this point you may hear strange noises on the other end, as calling the number at this time and place has put you in contact with a demon. It is possible to gauge whether the demon is happy with your offering or not based off the things he may say, if anything at all. Do not hang up on the demon; you will go back up the elevator when he hangs up on you.

There are three possibilities awaiting you when you go back to the 5th floor to see what has happened to your offering.

If the demon doesn't care for your offering but hasn't been upset by it, you will find it in the same place as you left it outside the elevator. You must then collect the offering, go back down to the first floor and leave the building.

If the demon has been offended by your offering, you will find the offering destroyed in some way. Leave the building immediately if you find this, as it means that the demon is angry with you and will try to kill you if you stay too long.

But if the demon likes your offering, there will be no trace of it when you get back up to the 5th floor. If this has happened, you must close the elevator doors and then hit the button for the 5th floor again. This time, instead of the doors opening again, the elevator will begin to move up, taking you to a 6th floor that shouldn't exist.

The amount of time it will take to reach the 6th floor varies from person to person, but it should not take longer than two minutes.

When you reach the 6th floor, you will find yourself in another world. Accounts of what this other world looks like also varies from person to person. Some have said that the floor they entered was run down and wrecked to pieces in some parts. Others have said that the floor didn't look any different from the other floors. Regardless of the state of the floor, the one thing that is consistent is a giant glowing red cross that can be seen if you look outside. You will see nothing else outside aside from the cross.

It is not recommended that you to try to open any windows or try to climb down the building.

You are free to explore this other world until you are ready to leave. It does not matter how long you stay in the other world. When you want to leave you must simply walk back to the elevator and hit the button for the first floor. It is possible that you may come across the offering that you left for the demon earlier while you explore.

Do not take the offering back; it now belongs to the demon.

Reality on the 6th floor can be distorted and you may find yourself becoming confused. If you find yourself entering into such a state, take out the sentimental item you brought and focus on it. It will keep you from losing yourself and allow you to continue as you explore the other world.

Above all else, while exploring the other world, you must never look behind you. Even though the demon may have liked your offering, he also likes trickery and will try to make you turn around to look at him by making noise or by speaking to you. If you look at the demon you will be unable to leave the 6th floor and he will keep you there forever as he has claimed you as his.

It is not recommended that you speak to the demon even if you don't look at him.

Regardless of the outcome of your offering, when you have returned to the 1st floor you must exit the building and you cannot enter the building again for any reason until the time is 6 AM.

If you have upset the demon with your offering, it is not recommended that you try the game again.

There is no reward for playing this game. There is only the experience of leaving this world and venturing to one beyond our own.

This game is dangerous and could result in the death of the player, so please consider the possible outcomes of playing before you decide to do so.

You finished reading aloud the instructions displayed on the sketchy-looking site and looked to your friend Farah, who had her hands clasped together as she looked hopefully at you and the rest of your group who had gathered in her apartment.

“Well?” she asked after a moment, “what do you think?”

“.... Why does a demon have a phone?” you asked.

“Yeah and what phone company does he use?” Cliff asked after you, “or do demons have their own phone companies.”

“You're missing the point!” Farah exclaimed.

“And the point is....?”

“We need to try this!”

There was a collective groan throughout the apartment. The other one in the group, Carmen, rubbed their forehead as they told Farah “you're our friend and we love you, but I don't think any of us want to repeat that time we tried summoning ghosts in a public bathroom.”

“This is nothing like that!” Farah insisted, “it said that we need a building with five floors and an elevator! I promise, there won't be anything gross!”

“Where do we get a building like that?” Carmen asked.

Farah pointed to Cliff.

“You work security overnight at that one office building, right?”

“Do you seriously think I'm going to risk my job for this?” he asked.

“We won't do anything bad! We'll just play a game and leave some stuff on the top floor. If the demon doesn't like it we'll take it with us. It's literally in the rules that we need to clean up after ourselves.”

Farah stopped herself, but you could tell she wanted to continue about getting a chance to visit another world. She loved the supernatural and those kinds of urban legends, but she never wanted to try these things on her own.

Carmen sighed.

“Is anyone else even remotely interested in trying this?” they asked.

Neither you or Cliff said anything at first, and Farah's face began to fall as no one volunteered. Then, when it looked like Carmen was about to speak again, you tentatively raised your hand.

“It might be fun,” you said. At least in terms of memories of 'dumb shit you did when you were younger'.

Farah beamed while Carmen gave you a look that screamed 'I hate you'.

With you willing to give the game a chance, the other two ended up conceding to do the same, and Cliff had been convinced by Farah to let you all in a week from that day when he worked at that particular building. With his shift being 11 PM to 7 the next morning, there would be plenty of time for you to play the game and then let him get back to work. As long as nothing was messed up by the end of it, there would be no harm.

At first you were rather stumped on what to give the demon as an offering. Farah was the same, but she ended up deciding on a horror anthology book from the 1920s. Carmen just got a shirt they had been wanting since they were certain that this ritual wasn't going to work and they wanted to spend the money on something that was useful to them. Cliff went out of his way to get a particularly creepy clown doll. He claimed that he wasn't annoyed by all of this, but you found yourself questioning that statement when he sent a picture of it through the group text. You had no clue where the fuck he had found something that unsettling.

The night you all had settled on was approaching and you still didn't have an offering. It shouldn't have been that hard, and yet you felt like if there was the chance that you were going to run into some otherworldly creature, you didn't want to half-ass it and make it upset. If the supernatural was real it seemed better to try and keep it on your side.

You found yourself browsing a few online forums where people were discussing the game. Unsurprisingly, most said that the ritual didn't work, and the few that claimed that it did had written some uninspired stories about how the demon had told them how they were going to die or when the world was going to end, with at least one mentioning the coming of the Antichrist. When you scrolled down to the end of the page you were pretty bored of all of the comments you read and you were about to exit the page when one particular comment caught your eye:

the demon likes bats

It was buried beneath the comments of others, and nobody had interacted with it. Common sense would tell you that this was just more bullshit, but it just seemed like such a random thing to make up. Nowhere in the instructions had it mentioned bats, and no one else on the forums had said anything about it either. The user who had posted it hadn't interacted with anything else and seemingly just came on to put out that little tidbit. For that reason, you found yourself wondering if their ritual had been successful.

You leaned back in your chair while you considered the information.

Bats, huh?

And then by complete chance the next day, when you were in the mall trying to find something because it the date you'd set for the game was only hours away and you still had nothing, you spotted something through the window of a toy store: a pink stuffed bat plush.

It was rather overpriced, but if that comment was correct, then it should be worth it. If not, at least you got something cute out of it.

Surprisingly it was Carmen and Farah that had been less than impressed by what you had brought.

“I didn't realize you wanted to offend the demon too,” Farah commented bitterly.

“Maybe the demon likes pink,” you responded as you shrugged.

Nothing more was said about it as Cliff opened the front door of the building. In exchange for doing this, he made the rest of you go about the building to turn off all any lights that had been left on which you all grumbled about but agreed was fair enough. By the time you were finished scouring the building, it was 3:13 in the morning.

It had been agreed that Farah would go first, and the rest of you waited in a darker spot of the parking lot while she went in, watching the building to see if you could spot her movements through the windows. You had pulled out your phone, as you were the last person she had called. It would probably be proven pretty fast if this was real or not if she called you and it went through to you, though Carmen had said that they felt it was likely that Farah would probably not call and just say that she had.

You checked to make sure the sentimental object you had brought was in your pocket: a small, stuffed bear keychain that you had gotten as a present from a childhood friend. It was special to you, but you didn't feel like you'd be absolutely devastated if anything happened to it.

Farah came out a few minutes later, carrying her book and looking disappointed.

“It didn't work,” she said as she sighed.

“Did you call?” you asked.

“Yes,” she answered, somewhat indignant. To prove that she had, she pulled out her phone and opened up her call history. It listed her last call as being made to you only a few minutes ago. When you opened up your own call history, it showed that she had called you over an hour ago.

….. Okay. That was weird.

Carmen went next, and it was the same story with them, as they came out a little bit later still holding their shirt. Unlike Farah, they didn't seem too upset.

Cliff went after, holding that creepy clown doll and waving it around a bit as he walked to the elevator.

It was quiet again after that. You, Carmen and Farah waited patiently in the parking lot while the electric lampposts around you hummed. Cliff had been talking earlier so you hadn't noticed it, but it seemed eerily quiet outside. Usually there were bugs or other forms of wildlife at night that would keep things from being silent, but right now there was nothing; only the humming electricity of the lot and the occasional comment from Carmen.

Farah seemed anxious as she looked at the building, her hands playing with the charm on her phone while she waited for any sign of Cliff. The thing with the phone history seemed to convince her this was for real and she seemed nervous about Cliff's offering. Carmen didn't appear to be the same way and seemed more impatient, who'd begun to tap their foot as they waited.

“Did you hear anything when you called?” you asked the both of them. They looked at you, and both shook their heads.

“It was quiet when I called,” Farah said.

“Same here,” said Carmen. Farah smiled at that.

“That means that it's real, right?” she asked.

“Sure.”

Carmen wasn't the best person to be around when they were tired and cranky, and you could see that Farah wasn't trying to take it personally. But looking back to Carmen, you noticed a slight furrow to their brow, and the impatient tapping seemed to have increased. At first glance you would have assumed that they were just really done with this whole thing, but as you kept looking, it seemed less like they were annoyed and more more like they were apprehensive.

“Cliff's taking a while,” they commented.

It was taking Cliff longer than the two of them, you realized, and you were about to try and crack a joke about him making it to the sixth floor when you saw the elevator doors in the lobby slide open, followed by Cliff walking out.

More like storming out, actually.

“What the hell?!” he exclaimed as he shoved open the main doors.

“Don't shout!” Carmen responded, “this is your job that we're not supposed to be doing this at, remember? What're you going to do if someone calls the police on us?”

Cliff ignored them, looking to Farah as he continued “are you serious? You want this stupid thing to be real that badly?!”

He was holding something that he then thrust in front of Farah's face. It was the clown doll that he'd brought.

Or at least, what was left of it.

It looked like it had been stepped on repeatedly, the body broken and the head having been caved in. One of the legs were also missing, you noted.

“You.... You think I did that?” Farah asked.

“Who else!” Cliff yelled.

“I've been here the whole time!” she shrieked back.

“She has,” you added as you felt the need to jump in, “none of us have moved from this spot.”

“Oh fuck off,” he answered, “I needed to return this. What the hell am I supposed to do?”

“Maybe you shouldn't have gone out of your way to be an asshole,” Farah spat back.

It quickly devolved into an argument between the two, with Carmen pulling you back when you tried to jump in again. It made sense why Cliff was upset, but Farah hadn't done anything.

“.... Should I not go?” you whispered to Carmen after a bit.

“No!” Cliff exclaimed, this time at you, “you should go! Do this stupid thing, and then let me get back to my work!”

“You're not allowed to go back in for the rest of the night,” Farah pointed out.

By that point Cliff was done, and he stormed off to another area in the lot. Carmen motioned for you to go while Farah quietly steamed. It wasn't the first time those two had fought, but the arguments seemed to be getting nastier every time they happened. Best to get this over with so they could be separated and have the time to cool down.

You walked through the darkened lobby of the empty office building, your path illuminated only by the streetlights outside. There was something about darkness and artificial light that somehow made it feel more foreboding, more dangerous. Even though you were an adult there were still thoughts that ran about in your head of creatures that you couldn't see awaiting you in the dark, and those thoughts made you tense a bit. It was such an irrational fear, but one your brain wouldn't let go of. The argument between your friends had only put you more on edge as well.

The elevator doors slid open, the bright blinding lights hurting your eyes for a second before they adjusted to them, and you stepped in the car, pushing the button for the fifth floor.

Fifth floor, leave the offering, then down to third.

There were some bits of Cliff's creepy clown doll that were in front of the elevator when you reached the top floor. It vaguely occurred to you that the instructions said to leave immediately if the offering had been destroyed, but it seemed like Cliff had tried to clean up some. Though that made sense, since he didn't want to leave a mess behind after his shift.

You pushed away some of the leftover bits with your shoe, and carefully placed the bat plush laying on its back in front of the doors.

Down to the third floor, then.

You checked again to make sure that the bear keychain was still in your pocket during the ride down, stepping out when the doors opened after you confirmed that it was.

Now to make the call....

There hadn't been anything saying you needed to wait until the doors closed to begin, but you waited anyway. When the double doors slid shut behind you, you hit the button on your screen to call Farah, the last person on your call history.

It rang twice before the call was picked up. Just as Farah and Carmen had said, it was silent on the other side. You cleared your throat before saying the words that had been instructed.

“I want to visit the sixth floor. Please.”

There was nothing that said you needed to be polite, but you figured it couldn't hurt.

You still didn't hear anything from the other end, and that silence continued for several more seconds. You held the phone close to your ear, straining to hear anything, any sort of indication that someone was on the other line. The “demon” was supposed to hang up first, you remembered, so you were stuck until something happened.

“.... That's actually cute.”

The male voice you heard on the other end was unexpected, but you didn't get a chance to say anything back before the phone call ended.

You stood very still for a few moments.

That.... That hadn't been any of the others who were still outside. Unless they had gone so far as to hide someone out there and have them answer the phone when you called Farah and all of this was just an elaborate prank. But none of them were really the kind of people to do things like that.

Remembering the instructions from the site, you turned back to the elevator and got on when the doors opened, pushing the button for fifth floor once again.

If the demon likes your offering, there will be no trace of it when you get back up to the 5th floor

The ding of the elevator signaled that you were once again at the top floor of the building, and when the doors slid back open and you looked to the spot where you'd left the bat, you found.... Nothing.

That space you had cleared from the broken bits of that doll was empty, the white tiled floor shining in the light that came from the elevator.

….. If this was all just a prank by your friends, you weren't sure if you'd be able to trust them after this.

The doors closed once again, and you took a deep breath before you pushed the fifth floor button.

The elevator began to move up.

There wasn't a sixth floor; you'd double checked that the building only went as high as five.

You told yourself to wait until the doors opened before you jumped to conclusions. You'd need to see this “other world” before you could say for certain that all of this was real.

The website said that it could take up to two minutes, but mere seconds later did the doors slide back open.

Everything looked normal. Just another floor of an office building.

Or it would have looked normal, had it not been for the fact that everything was bathed in a red glow that came from the outside.

Clutching your phone in one hand and the keychain in the other, you took a small, tentative step out of the car, looking to either side of you.

The hallways were empty. Nothing jumped out at you.

Slowly, you walked over to a window.

In the distance stood a glowing red cross.

…. This was real.

This was actually real.

It was almost too much to process for your shock-addled brain, and you had to wonder if anyone else who had been successful had the same reaction as you, to just stare dumbly at the scene before you.

It then occurred to you to get proof for when you went back.

You pulled up the camera on your phone. Or you tried to at least. Of all the times for your phone to act up, it needed to be when you needed to get a picture so people would believe you. The app kept taking forever to pull up before it would close and you repeatedly tapped on the screen as you tried to make it work. Somehow you managed to snap a few pictures of the cross before the camera closed again and you weren't able to open it back up. The lighting and your uncooperative phone made the pictures appear quite blurry, but one would be able to tell what they were looking at. No doubt some people would claim that it was fake, but it was enough to satisfy you.

You checked the time, finding it to be 3:30, if the phone was to be trusted. You wished you had checked before you came up here, but it was a bit too late for that now.

You stepped away from the window and went down one of the halls, looking all around before you remembered that the site said that you shouldn't look behind you. Or was that only when you heard the demon? Regardless, you kept glances behind yourself to a minimum as you made your way through the floor.

Aside from the red light that covered everything, it looked like a normal office floor, filled with different offices and supply closets and nothing that was particularly interesting to you. The one strange thing was that the red cross outside seemed to move along with you, as when you would move to a different room you would still be able to see it clearly outside. You went back to the windows a few times and tried to see if there was anything else outside, but all you found was an endless darkness with no signs of any kind of life or structure. Unsurprisingly there was also no sign of your friends down below, though it would have been hard to see where they were standing outside anyway given the angle.

The red light made you slightly sick after a while, and you tried opening up the flashlight option on your phone. But it refused to turn on. In fact, nothing on your phone was working now, and when you looked at the clock, the time was still 3:30.

Either time was being distorted or your phone wasn't able to function properly. Given how your phone was acting earlier the latter would seem to be the most likely option, but you also weren't sure what the rules of this place were. There was nothing that said that this world was bound to time in the way yours was.

The website had said that you could stay up here for as long as you wanted, right?

You began to see things out of the corner of your eye, little bits of movement in the darkness that dared you to look at them. You did a few times, mentally slapping yourself as you remembered what the instructions had said as you were now desperately trying to remember everything that had been written so you knew what you could and couldn't do. It was amazing and terrifying at the same time as you recalled what the site had said about possibly dying to this game, and at one point you felt so overwhelmed that you thought you were going to throw up. You managed to keep it down, but after that you decided that it was time to leave.

When you started to head back to the elevator was when you felt a headache coming on. It was mild at first, but when you went further along your route to the exit it started to hurt more, turning into a stabbing pain that jammed into your skull.

Had the website mentioned this? You couldn't be sure. Where were you even going again?

You stopped at an open door, leaning against the open door frame to rest. There was movement from inside the room, and without thinking you looked over to it.

The bat you had left on the fifth floor sat in the room in front of a whiteboard. A whiteboard that had been absolutely covered in drawn on hearts and your name repeated over and over.

…. The website hadn't mentioned that.

“Do you think it's a good place for him?”

The voice you heard came from a few feet behind you. The same voice you had heard over the phone.

You needed to get out. Now.

You brushed your hand against your pocket as you tried to stand up straight again, still fighting the pain of the headache when you remembered the little bear keychain.

It will keep you from losing yourself

With that thought in mind you pulled it out and focused on it, and the pain seemed to lessen by a good amount.

“You've got a thing for cute stuff, don't you?”

The voice came from directly behind you this time, like whoever was speaking was staring down over your shoulder as they were practically on top of you.

Don't look don't look don't look

You pushed off of the door frame, the keychain still in hand as you power-walked back down the hall. The headache was still there a little bit but it was nowhere near as debilitating as it had been before.

The voice whined from behind you.

“You're leaving already? You just got here.”

Don't speak. Don't look.

It was following you. You could hear the footsteps that trailed after yours, keeping up with your pace and almost being purposefully loud. Sudden noises accompanied the footsteps, making you jump and urging you to turn around. It was a natural thing to react to sudden sounds like that and you needed to catch yourself a few times from looking behind.

It was trying to keep you here and you didn't want to stay to find out why that was.

You turned several corners and walked down many halls, and the elevator wasn't anywhere in sight. That wasn't right. You had made a mental note of where the location of the elevator approximately was. As much as the headache was still messing with you, you should still be able to make it back. You knew where it was, goddammit.

…. Was it just you, or were these hallways getting longer?

A chuckle came from behind you.

“You didn't think I'd let you go that easy, did you?”

You started to run.

You weren't sure how long you continued like that – time didn't seem to be a thing up here. Around you the halls extended, stretching out and prolonging your time in this hell as you turned corner after corner and you still couldn't find the fucking elevator. The temptation was there to look behind and see how long the halls had become, but the laughter that followed you kept your eyes straight ahead.

Turning another corner, the doors to the elevator came in sight, and you let out a gasp of relief as you ran faster. Just a little bit more and then you'd be free.

…. The elevator seemed to be was moving away from you, messing with you just as the halls had done before.

You could hear him breathing directly in your ear as you ran. Still trying to freak you out, still trying to make you turn around. He hadn't touched you at all, though, and you wondered if there were rules for him that prevented him from doing so.

The attempts to get you to look back at him seemed to be getting desperate. If this thing was getting to a point where even he was desperate, you didn't want to know what the hell he'd do to you if you made the mistake of turning around.

Despite it all the elevator was getting closer. Escape was literally in your grasp-

And then something in the floor shifted that caused your knee to buckle and you were sent flying face down on the flat white tile.

The phone and keychain went flying out of your hands and there was blood in your mouth as you bit your lip. Your head ached again, though you weren't sure if it was because of him or because you'd just landed on the solid floor.

You lay there for a few moments, catching your breath as you tried to compose yourself.

You then became aware of the presence that was standing over you. He was quiet now, but you could feel his eyes burning holes into your back, as if trying to will you to look at him.

Pushing yourself up on shaky arms, you began to crawl forward, your hands searching for the phone and keychain that had gone flying and had vanished into the darkness, the light from outside now much duller than it had been when you'd first arrived.

Don't look don't look don't look

He can't touch you

He can't force you to look back at him

Just keep facing forward and-

A horrifically loud shrieking noise sounded through the hall. It was the loudest thing you had ever heard in your life, the noise so great that you felt the floor vibrating, and your hands immediately went to cover your ears to protect your hearing as best you could.

Don't you dare fucking look back

With your hands still over your ears, you crawled forward on your knees. It was slow and it had gotten so dark that you couldn't see the elevator anymore, but it was still progress. When your knee brushed against your phone you ignored it. Who gave a fuck about proof anymore? You just wanted to get out.

But you were still trying to keep a lookout for the keychain. It had helped before; if you could find it, it would probably make getting out easier.

You put out one hand on the floor as you blindly searched for your sentimental item, your eyes scrunching up in pain as the horrible sound continued.

For a split second your fingers brushed up against something soft.

You grabbed it.

Immediately after the shrieking noise stopped.

For just a moment, there was relief, even though you still had that noise ringing in your ears. But it took only another moment for you to realize that something was wrong.

You hadn't grabbed that bear keychain. It was larger and heavier.

Opening your eyes, you found that you were holding that fucking bat plush.

“Ah. You messed up.”

A hand reached from behind you and grabbed the plush out of your grip. A different hand was placed on your shoulder and you were spun around on the floor.

A fair-skinned man with what looked to be blonde hair stared down at you, one hand still on your shoulder as he waved the bat in front of you.

“You're not supposed to take this back, remember?” he asked as he smiled at you.

“No.... I didn't...” you trailed off.

“But you did, though! You grabbed and picked it up,” he said.

That wasn't possible. You had left that thing behind in that room that felt so far away now. But as you glanced to the side you saw that, to your horror, you were sitting next to that room again, the hearts still visible on the whiteboard. You were barely able to note that it had gotten brighter and that somehow the red lighting seemed less harsh before he was talking to you again.

“So you lost and now you don't get to go back,” he told you.

“No.... You cheated.”

It felt so juvenile to say that out loud, but it was all that could come out of you in your current state.

Strangely though, he didn't deny it.

“Can you blame me?” he asked, “I've never gotten a visitor as charming as yourself. When I heard you on the phone and saw what you left me, I just needed to keep you.”

He looked at the bat plush again and smiled at it as he sat down in front of you.

“Did you just pick this at random, or was it something else?”

You struggled to comprehend the question, and it took you a bit before you were able to blurt out “someone else said you liked bats.”

“So you mean you went to the trouble of looking up what things I liked? That's adorable. I love it!” he exclaimed.

You tried to subtly scoot away from him as he sat in front of you but you were noticed instantly.

“Where do you think you're going?” he asked. The look he gave you was so innocent.

“I-I need to go home. I want to go home,” you insisted.

“That's not an option, remember?” he asked, waving the bat around again.

You shook your head.

“You cheated. I should be allowed to leave because you did that.”

He laughed.

“There's no rule against cheating. As long as I didn't touch you it was fine. Don't be a sore loser.”

“Fuck you.”

You spat out those words in a bout of frustration, trying your best to sound strong, but it probably just made you seem more pathetic.

He only hummed at that, just staring at you for a moment.

It had been getting steadily brighter, the red going away with every passing second and you were able to make out different colors. The purple and teal on his clothes, the shade of blonde his hair was and the blue of his eyes were visible to you for a few moments.

He set the bat plush to the side, and the world began to darken again as red and black took over.

“That's okay,” he said, more to himself than to you, “you're scared and that kind of reaction is normal, so I'm not too mad.”

It was getting harder to see him, but you could see movement about him, things about his body changing. Horns that slowly curled out from his forehead. The tips of his fingers that darkened around long claws that took the place of his fingernails. Large, bat-like wings that unfolded from behind him and spread themselves.

You caught a glimpse of his teeth in the low light, and they looked sharper than they had before.

Panic shot through you as you began to scramble away from him, but your escape attempt was short-lived as something wrapped itself around your legs and pulled you back towards him.

A tail? Oh God that was a tail.

He was on top of you, and he caged you in his arms as he leaned down to whisper in your ear “don't worry, I'll go easy on you this time.”

You tried to push him away, but he ignored it.

“Oh! Before I forget, I should introduce myself shouldn't I? I'm Shalnark. Nice to meet you.”

With that, his lips claimed yours in a searing kiss.

Your friends had been waiting a while.

Farah and Carmen stayed where they had been directly next to the building while Cliff hadn't moved from where he had stormed off to. Farah had been getting upset as she had become convinced that you were being an ass to her as well with how long you were taking. It was all Carmen could do to try and keep her calm.

Because of his distance away and how distracted they were, neither of them noticed the state Cliff was in.

They only noticed when he began to violently cough.

With Farah still slightly bitter from their earlier argument, Carmen was the one to check on him, asking if he was alright as they walked up to him.

Cliff gave no answer as he had begun to cough up blood.

Carmen's hands fumbled when they pulled out their phone to call emergency services, and they yelled at Farah to go inside and get you. The sight of the blood Cliff was coughing up had Farah sprinting towards the building, throwing the front doors open as she made a beeline for the elevator.

Carmen didn't notice it at first when Farah fell to the floor. Only when the ambulance had been confirmed and they looked back to the building to see if the two of you were coming out did they see her body lying limply on the floor.

Ambulances and cop cars arrived eventually, and both Cliff and Farah were declared dead at the scene. The autopsy reports later would declare that they had been poisoned. A thorough search of the building would find no source of where the poison had come from.

Nor did they find anything from you.

Carmen had told them that you were in there, but when they searched they found no trace of you. No personal belongings and nothing to even indicate that you had entered the building. When the search for you grew beyond the confines of the office building, there was still no trace of you. You simply vanished into thin air.

The case would puzzle investigators before they would ultimately put it aside for other cases that needed their attention. It would only gain some traction online when the files were released to the public and certain parties saw that you and your friends had been playing the Sixth Floor Game. For some people it added weight to their beliefs that the game was real and needed to be avoided. For others it was just a coincidence.

Regardless of what they thought, you remained a missing person that would never be seen again, forever immortalized by your unexplained disappearance and an urban legend.

[hyunjilicious]

a helping hand [henry cavill] - part 2

A/n: I’m sorry it took me so long. I don’t like how this part turned out, at all, but I rewrote it 3 times and I can’t even think about these scenes anymore without getting annoyed. I’m just happy it’s finished and that I can start working on part 3 (that is, if you like this one enough to want to keep reading lol)

Summary: After you post on onlyfans a video starring another man, Henry decides to take matters into his own hands. (cameo: Steve Rogers) KINKY 4k

Warnings: spanking, daddy kink, dirty talk, mentions of smut and masturbation (male), humiliation/degradation kink, groping, mentions of porn and filming pornographic material, stalker-ish/obsessed Henry. (also tumblr crashed when I first tried to upload this so maybe that a sign this sucks)

You can read part 1 here!

-

The sight brought down a storm upon Henry's mind. He stood there, mouth agape, watching the screen, unable to believe his eyes. It was one thing to post videos of yourself on the Internet, but to have someone else take part in them was too much. At least for Henry. Still smart and composed, he realised there wasn't anything he could do about it, but nevertheless, he was determined to not let this shit slide for much longer. 

As much as he wanted to hunt down that man who dared put his hands on you, Henry gathered himself, took a deep breath and closed the onlyfans page. He was perfectly aware that just the right amount of you could get him to lose his sense of control and do things he'd later regret. Still, in desperate need to see you, he grabbed his phone, eyes scheming over your socials, only to see that the last time you had been active was 7 minutes ago. So, without much consideration, he started typing.

"You up?"

"Yep. Finishing up an essay. Coffee in 30??"

Oh, and how deeply that hurt him. "Of course" he sent you, and then checked again the post you made at 3am. '...I'll go to sleep right now, edit it for you when I wake up...'

You were lying? Why were you lying to him? It drove him insane. Henry felt like he couldn't sit down anymore, like he had no chance to catch his breath. He couldn't think straight, so he wasn't really to blame for what he did next. 

Henry's fingers flew over the keyboard, accessing Facebook and logging into your account, desperate to see whether he could find out who the man in your video was. And it was as easy as it could've been, considering your last 5 conversations were with the girl friends he already knew about. But somewhere among them, he spotted an unfamiliar name - Steve R., and instantly clicked and opened the conversation. His blood started to boil when the multitude of emojis you sent reached his eyes, but he scrolled up, until he found the beginning of yesterday's conversation. 

It was started by you, and with a request. You were blunt and went straight for it, asking him with just one message to be in the video with you. There was no trace of your relationship with him on the Internet, so Henry had no idea regarding the nature of yours and Steve's connection. Judging by the way you addressed him, he could easily assume the man was nothing more than a fuck buddy. Even though it angered him, Henry kept his calm and decided to go about this with care. It would only be a matter of time until he removed Steve from your life. But for now, he just had to keep digging for information. 

Steve R.: "Exactly what do you need me to do, baby? Spank you? In front of the camera? Are you serious?" 

"Yes, Steve. Come on!! I know we haven't seen each other in a while, but still... 😇 when it comes to these things, you know me better than anyone"

Henry scoffed. Who the fuck was this guy?

Steve R.: "I know, baby"

Steve R.: "What's in it for me?"

Smoke came out of Henry's ears, and the fact that you acted so sweet and innocent made him want to smash his keyboard.

"Whatever you want! Just do this for me!!! Please!!!! 🥺😊😋"

Steve R.: "Ofc I'll do it, sweetheart. I got you"

"Thank you thank you thank you 😘"

Steve R.: "I should be the one to thank you"

Steve R.: "Send me the location and I'll be over there asap"

After that, your address followed and then that was it. Determined to dig deeper, Henry started to scroll up again, wanting to find out as much as he could about this mysterious man. He didn't get a chance to lurk too much before this computer alerted him of a notification, the onlyfans tab glowing orange. His attention was instantly won, smiling devilishly as he checked the content.

Posted 30 seconds ago, was the new video. Ready to kick back and enjoy, Henry pressed the play button, ready to go at it with an open mind. 

He reluctantly accepted the fact that there was another man in it with you, but he decided to enjoy it nevertheless. The video started, displaying Steve seated on the couch, thighs suggestively parted. He had a pair of black dress pants on, dangerously stretched over his massive thighs. A white, elegant shirt hugged his visibly sculpted torso, the top two buttons undone to show just a hint of chest hair. Quite a sight, but all Henry saw was trash. With his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a silver watch on his wrist and a pinky ring on, Steve patted his thigh, cueing your entrance.

When Henry saw you, he felt his breath reach a new, sudden level of difficulty. With the shortest of skirts barely managing to cover your ass and a mostly see-through shirt on your top half, you made your way to him in such an angelic way that Henry couldn't believe his eyes. 

You looked like happiness personified, and it came in such a painful contraction to what you were about to do, that it twisted Henry's mind in such a perverse way, his cock nearly twitched just by seeing you. 

When you were about to bend over Steve's thigh, he grabbed your chin and stopped you mid action, his lips slamming against your as his free hand lewdly caressed your ass. He flung the skirt over your hips, your flimsy underwear on full display. 

Attentive to the events unfolding on the screen, Henry found his cock, teasingly rubbing it over the material of his pajama pants. His mouth watered when he felt the sensibility in his tip, actually believing this would be easier than he initially anticipated.

"Are you going to be Daddy's good little girl, or do I have to make this fucking hurt?" Steve asked and Henry almost threw up. 

"Yes, Daddy. I'll be good" you mewled, wiggling your feet. 

"Let's see" the man menacingly chuckled, releasing a sharp slap against your ass that made you yelp out in pain.

At this point, about 30 seconds in that was, Henry was already losing his mind. It was as if you took a trip inside his dreams and decided to play out his fantasies. The only problem was that you did it with another man. It was next to impossible for him to keep this going.

"Can you count?" Steve taunted, his hand traveling all over the back of your thighs, your exposed ass and between your legs. 

"Yes, Daddy" you eagerly nodded and Henry almost threw up.

"I wouldn't be surprised if a dumb slut like you didn't know how to" Steve chuckled, "But it's ok, that's how we like our girls. Dumb and pretty"

"Thank you, Daddy"

Henry couldn't believe his eyes. He refused to accept the fact that a random man got to play with your innocence like that. You were his sweet little girl. And if until now he pushed through heroically, when literal yelps of pain started erupting from your lips as the blonde man slapped your ass hard enough to rock your whole frame, Henry's blood ran cold.

But no matter how hard the jealousy had hit him, the video was still pushing his limits of self control. It was still what he always wanted to see. When he reached inside his pants and grabbed his cock, a low grunt of early satisfaction left his lips. He once again found himself picturing you, willing to please him, but this time, he didn't get to go too far. The buzzing sound of his doorbell rang through his apartment, and he never stood up faster.

Cock still hard and completely visible through his pants, Henry slapped the pause button and minimized the browser, before springing to his feet and rushing to the door.

"Henry!" you exclaimed as soon as he came into view. He looked somehow tired, but it was easy to tell there was something else bothering him. "You didn't answer your phone" you pouted.

"Yeah, sorry" he shook his head, a few sweaty curls falling against his forehead. "I was busy with something. What's up?"

You raised your eyebrows and pointed to the door of your apartment, "You said you'd come over? Coffee? Remember?"

"Oh, shit, yeah" Henry cringed, rubbing his forehead. "I'll be over in 10 minutes, that ok?"

"Sure" you beamed, completely oblivious to the way he just tried to get rid of you. With utter nonchalance, you pushed your way past him and strolled into the kitchen.

"You wanna wait here?" he muttered.

"Yeah... Is that a problem? I can leave..."

"No, no" Henry eventually sighed and rushed over to you. He cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead. "Wait here, I'll be right back"

And that was what you did. You silently sat down, grabbing a bag of chips you found laying around, and settled to wait. And maybe, a few seconds passed where nothing devious came to mind, but as time ticket itself away, boredom got to you. First you stood up, and padded to the hallway, looking around. There was almost nothing new over there, but it still felt so homey you absolutely loved to inspect every detail. The TV in the living room was turned off, a couple of pizza boxes on the floor and his DVD cases laying around - absolutely nothing interesting.

You sighed and plopped down on his couch, folding your legs under your body, ready to flip through the channels on TV until he'd decide to join you. Nothing seemed of interest, being bombarded with news and fishing programs. "Old man" you thought to yourself, before opening up the menu in search for something less depressing. A wave of nostalgia hit you when you came across a Spiderman marathon, and you were done for. Maybe one full episode passed until Henry walked out of the bathroom, but you were nowhere near ready to leave.

"Look what's playing!" you beamed, pointing to the screen. Henry raised his eyebrows in amusement, his shoulders shaking as he softly laughed at your unusual choice of entertainment. 

"Are you serious? Cartoons?"

"Yes!" you scoffed, extending your arms and gesturing for him to join you. Although reluctant at first, Henry agreed to sit and watch the show with you, but not before brewing some coffee first.

When he returned from the kitchen, two steaming mugs in tow, you shuffled to the side and welcomed him on the couch. He brought you close against him, draping his arm around your body. With your head resting on his shoulder, you sipped your coffee, eyes glued to the TV. "You seriously never watched these as teen? You were 11 when it came out."

"I did" Henry laughed, rubbing his hand up and down your side, "I was in love with Felicia Hardy"

"MJ was so much better!" you shook your head disappointed, "You have no taste"

"No need for that" Henry threatened, his fingers exploring their way down your body. The way he trailed his hand across your hips and thighs made you squirm, smiling to yourself as you shuffled closer to him.

Henry was more than happy to reciprocate, kissing your forehead and squeezing you tighter. 

And just like that, you didn't care about Spiderman anymore. You flung your leg over Henry's lap, all but crawling on top of him. The episode was still playing in the background, but none of you was paying attention anymore. Henry wrapped his muscular arms around your frame, eliciting a soft moan from your lips as you pushed your hips down against his thigh. His hands traveled lower, exploring your body with delicate but greedy strokes. 

As you let yourself get carried away with absolutely no worry in mind, Henry knew exactly what he was doing. And considering how easily you let your guard down, he had you right where he wanted. 

When you hid your face in the crook of his neck, your nose rubbing across the slope of his collarbone, Henry's right hand found your ass. You froze for a second, but his gentle caress helped you relax again in an instant. With his lips against the top of your head, he allowed his fingers to sink into your flesh. Your whole frame stiffened as you gathered a handful of his hoodie into your fist.

"What's wrong?" Henry cooed, grabbing your chin, "You ok?"

"Yep" you whimpered, and then winced again as he squeezed your ass once more. "I'm good-" you lied, cupping the side of his neck into your palm as you crawled higher up his body, your lips right against his ear. 

As weak as he was for you, Henry stood his ground. If you wanted to play this game, he'd do it, but he wouldn't let you win.

"Does this hurt?" he asked, roughly groping your ass.

Jumping slightly from the pain, you still managed to shake your head, blurting out another lie. "... no"

"What about this?" Henry teased, grinning widely as he shoved his hands inside your leggings, under your panties. 

The urgency of his touch made your eyes open wide, your back arching as you tried to push yourself off of him.

"Does it hurt, darling?" he continued, keeping you in place with ease. 

Defeated, you sighed and lowered your gaze, "A bit" you mumbled.

"Just a bit?" 

"Henry-"

"Did he fuck you good?" 

Your mouth fell open. "What- no, I didn't- we didn't do anything-"

"Didn’t do anything?" Henry grinned, his perfect teeth showing as he proudly pried information out of you.

"I just... fuck-" 

Seeing no way out of this one, and eager to stop hiding, you pushed yourself back. Henry's hands left your body as you sat beside him, and he watched you curiously, patiently waiting for you to word your thoughts. "I just filmed a video for my page, that's all" you bowed your head.

"What kind of video?" Henry questioned.

His demeanour was so relaxed, he was right in his element, unlike you, who were riled up to the extreme. "A spanking video-" you cleared, awkwardly fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. 

"Did he spank you good?" 

His hand found your hips again, and you leaned into his touch, nodding your head yes as you were too embarrassed to actually word your answer.

"Then show me" 

He was dominant and stern, and even if you wanted to, you felt like saying no wasn't an option. Henry didn't wait for your permission as he grabbed your waist and pulled you up to your knees, chuckling softly to himself when he saw you shyly smile down at him. 

His fingers curled around the waistband of your leggings, forcefully pulling them down your thighs. "Come on" he urged you, softly guiding you to lay down across his lap, your ass barely covered by the pinkish and slightly unflattering underwear you had chosen for the day.

Henry's breathing picked up at the sight, and so did yours. You watched him over your shoulder, his fingers tracing over the bruises Steve left on your bum the night before. 

"Henry-?" you whimpered, the anticipation building up in the pit of your stomach becoming too much to bear. 

"Yes, darling?" he cooed, leaning down to the side to kiss your cheek. His stumble tickled your skin and you whimpered when his hand made its way between your legs.

You felt his fingers against your opening and involuntarily clenched your thighs around him, hiding your face in the cushions of below your head.

"Tell me" Henry pushed, teasing your folds and clit over your underwear. 

"Nothing, I-" you cried, making him chuckle.

He loved giving you a taste of your own medicine. He straightened himself up and grabbed your ass into his hands, squeezing until you yelped out in pain. A soft laughter of approval escaped his throat as he bent down and pressed his lips to one of your cheeks, applying lingering kisses over each and every single bruise. 

The way he took control of the situation and handled your body, turned you on to no end. For whatever reason, being exposed like that for him, waiting for any kind of judgement to leave his lips, you were getting more and more riled up by the second. You were done for. You did your best not to moan with need, but little did you know that was exactly what kept you from being thrown onto the floor and fucked into oblivion. Just one single sign was all you needed in order to break his self control, but you didn’t have it in you to do it. 

But he didn’t say anything, instead just keeping you on your toes as he had his way. You were dripping through your underwear, and judging by the bulge in his pants that pushed up against your belly, you knew he was on the same page as you. But again, he didn’t allow things to go further. Everything about this moment pointed in the right direction - the teasing, the touching, you were all but whimpering in his lap, but he cut the moment short with a sharp slap against your ass before he helped you up. Henry acted as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened as he pulled your leggings back up, but this glare became colder when he found your eyes.

He bent down and spoke into your ear, "He could've done a better job"

Completely under his spell, you bit your lip and furrowed your eyebrows. "I don't think I would have been able to take any more"

"That's not what I said" Henry shook his head.

"Look at you being an expert" you teased, relishing in the fact that he seemed eager to keep things going. 

"All I'm saying is that if you had asked someone else-" Henry laughed, stroking your cheek, "Things would have turned out much more different"

"Oh" you pouted, ready to tease him further. "Who should I have asked-"

Just when you started getting comfortable and confident enough to push things further, Henry's phone rang. "I don't have to take that" he shook his head when he heard you stopped talking.

"Just see who it is" you giggled, slapping his shoulder.

Before doing so, Henry grabbed your chin and kissed your forehead, his touch drawing you in like a magnet as you leaned into him when he pulled away. With a sigh, you eventually crawled off his lap and then your face fell with disappointment when Henry showed you the screen of his phone. 

"Yeah?" he huffed after picking up, his boss being the last person he wished to talk to right now. 

You watched him closely as he listened to whatever the man was saying, and almost whined out loud when Henry frowned annoyed.

"I'll call you back in 5, ok?" he asked and after a couple of seconds hung up.

"I'm so sorry-" Henry sighed, turning to you, "I gotta go take this, there's a problem with one of the radars, I need to go see if I can fix it remotely"

"Sure thing" you shook your head. "But please tell me you don't have plans tonight"

"I don't" Henry leaned towards you and again, kissed your forehead. As much as you loved the sweet gesture, it was now more than ever that you craved something else entirely. 

"And please don't forget about me again" you giggled, grabbing his biceps and stopping him from leaving without a promise.

"I won't" he sighed, "I'm really sorry about that. I'll make it up to you"

"However I want?" you beamed and licked your lips.

"Absolutely" Henry smiled, sweetly embracing you before walking you to the door.

You had his word now, and you were planning on making it count. There was no way either you or Henry would act as if nothing had happened, and you couldn't wait.

Once alone and seated at his desk, Henry opened up the text editor associated with the code he wrote months ago. When his screen was flooded with errors and his chat popped up with three different messages asking for help from his colleagues, Henry all but yelled out loud in frustration. Not only did he wish to be with you, it was also Sunday, one of his days off. But he couldn't just text the pilot of the plane whose radar went berserk and tell him to wait. So he got to work, determined to get this done as soon as possible. 

But unfortunately, that 'as soon as possible' turned into 3 hours of continuous work. He didn't even stand up to go to the bathroom until he made sure everything was on point. It was about 4pm when the program started running smoothly again, and seeing how he had a few more hours to waste until he had to see you, Henry decided to make the best of them, by getting a head start on his tasks for the following day.

Productivity flowed through his fingertips as he solved the first issue he had been assigned for the day to come, getting ready to start working on the second one when a call caught his attention. He didn't recognize the ring tone, and it only dawned on him that he was still logged into your facebook account a couple of seconds after it stopped ringing. 

Still curious, Henry switched the tabs on his computer, noticing that the chat with Steve, which he left open hours ago, showed that there was an ongoing video call. His jaw fell. Henry tightened his hands into fists, fuming with anger. First as you for doing this, and then at himself for allowing you to believe this was an ok thing to do. He knew there was no way to eavesdrop on your conversation even if he had the password, but that didn't mean his curiosity died down. No, it only grew stronger.

He felt lost for a minute, but then he thought of something. On his dresser, right next to his winter gloves and under his favorite jogging hat, laid an extra set of keys. Henry remembered the day you gave them to him, saying something along the lines of 'I feel much safer knowing that if something were to happen, you could always get to me, Henry.' and then remembered how you stuffed them in his pocket, and kissed his chest before stepping back. Such different times. 

There was no trace of hesitation inside his mind as he grabbed the keys and made his way out of his home. He passed the hallway in less than a second and pressed his ear to the door. It was perfectly quiet, and through the peephole, he couldn't see any light. You weren't in the kitchen or living room, so he felt confident enough. After putting his phone on vibrate, Henry ever so gently pushed the key inside, turning it inside the lock with the most meticulous movement his wrist could muster. The sound of the door knob being turned was so faint he barely even heard it, but his pulse skyrocketed when he heard the click that signaled the door was finally open.

With small, careful steps, he made his way inside. The entire apartment was dark and quiet as he made his way in, stopping just outside your bedroom as the relaxed, deep voice of a stranger became audible through the wall. “Trust me, sweetheart. Just relax, I got you. You’re all tense, I can see it from here. You know I have more experience with this than you do, just do as I say”

With one hand on the doorknob of your bedroom, Henry was ready to put an end to this whole charade. He knew he might regret it later, but he didn't care. The image of a so called friend, pushing you to do anything that you seemed to have clearly stated your discomfort about, flipped a switch inside his brain. There was no stopping him because no one, no one got to push you around like that. Not while he could do anything about it.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

A Miraculous TikTok Account

Part 15

First

Previous

Next

Ladybug woke up the next morning to her phone going off like an alarm. She groaned and slowly reached to her bedside table, gently nudging away fabrics in search of her phone. She found it, eventually, and tapped her finger on the screen repeatedly in search of the snooze button, but it didn’t seem to be working.

She grumbled to herself, snatching the phone off the table and looking to turn it off…

Only to realize that it was a good hour before she’d set her alarm to go off for her meeting with Audrey Bourgeois. She rubbed her eyes tiredly as she watched another round of notifications come in.

Ugh. That’s what she gets for turning her ringer on at night in case her friends had nightmares. She silenced her phone and fell back in her bed.

After ten minutes of staring at the ceiling and attempting to trick her brain into thinking she was asleep, she reluctantly pushed herself out of her bed. Phone in hand and blanket around her shoulders, she shuffled downstairs for a cup of coffee.

She waved to Chloe absently when she saw her in the kitchen making a bowl of cereal and got a hum in response. That was their entire conversation, though. Chloe always seemed to know when exactly it was a good time to tease her or not without Ladybug ever saying a word.

Maybe she should have figured out that Chloe was some kind of minor telepath.

Whatever.

She scrolled through her phone as she waited for her pot of coffee to finish.

The Parisians on TikTok were going wild.

There was a group freaking out about Chat’s account (because it was cute, but also because he might actually be a dog person considering that was the first thing he’d uploaded). Carapace’s video was full of comments analyzing their group dynamic or pitying the people who had been on shift at the time. Rena’s account had thousands of people screaming about having actual information on the miraculous holder’s daily lives for once and people attempting to use the footage to figure out where they were living. Chloe’s video had people speculating on what she would be doing or commenting on their day-to-day outfits.

And Ladybug’s…

It was full of people saying things along the lines of “of course Ladybug would have a lifestyle account”.

Part of her was kind of offended. Sure, her persona was definitely different than her and if she knew a person like ‘Ladybug’ in real life she probably wouldn’t be all that close to them, she’d made it that way on purpose… but still. It kind of hurt.

Then again, there was another part of her that was tempted to sing. Her ruse was working! She had accurately guessed what would be in character for her persona! Nice!

She poured herself a cup of her quickly cooling coffee and headed up to get properly dressed for the day.

Ladybug couldn’t help but be a little anxious as she changed from her red and black pajamas into a completely different red and black ensemble. Her mind wandered to all the messages she was getting about how consistent her persona was.

If she didn’t give her persona any kind of depth, how long would people keep falling for it?

She didn’t know. She was out the door in minutes and heading off to the park where Audrey had wanted to meet, the prototype of the dress she’d made for a ball in the United States in her hands. She had to remind herself constantly that, even if the stuff she’d used for the prototype was just there to simulate the real thing and wasn’t all that expensive, she still needed everything to be intact when she gave it to Audrey.

She was a little distracted during the meeting, her mind on what to do about her persona, so it was a good thing that Audrey’s only complaint was that the prototype fabric was a little coarse. That could be fixed.

The persona thing…? Not so much.

Rena was already suspicious, Ladybug could see it in the way her eyes narrowed ever so slightly whenever she let little things slip through.

(Thanks for telling her that everyone has personas, Carapace, now she had to be even more careful.)

She forced herself to relax. There wasn’t anything to gain from worrying about people figuring out just how fake she was outside of a possible akumatization.

No. Instead she would concentrate on something she could fix: Hawkmoth. If she figured out his identity they could beat him, and then she would never have to worry about personas ever again.

The moment she got home she walked over to the conspiracy board. She glared at the millions of closeups of every part of Hawkmoth’s body.

~Want to skip some calculations? Here’s your chance! I nerded out a little, sorry~

Hawkmoth was about 230cm tall in costume. That’s what Rena had found out through calculating his height in comparison to some of Nino’s plates in the photo, but Ladybug had (stupidly) offered to do the math to see how tall he would be without the miraculous stuff...

She knew the man’s shoes gave him a little extra height than most normal shoes would; she’d seen them up close, they were practically heels.

She spent literal hours sitting down with her computer at the kitchen table, a cold look on her face.

(Thank the kwamis for Chloe, because every time someone came near she would quickly come up to play interference. Ladybug didn’t know if she was doing this for their sake or hers, but either way it was appreciated.)

She scrolled through page after page of shoes, trying to find a model that looked close to the fashion disaster Hawkmoth was wearing.

Did she have a theory for the type of shoe they were? Yes. Was she going to just go with that? Of course not. She was Ladybug! Ladybug doesn’t GUESS --!

Maybe she’d been pretending to be Ladybug for too long. She made a mental note to go out with friends as a civilian sometime.

Still, it took until midnight to find a model that was similar enough for her to feel comfortable using it as a base. She printed out the picture and put it beside the picture of Hawkmoth’s shoes and nodded to herself. Great. His shoes added about 3 centimeters to his height.

Now onto the next part of height calculations.

Miraculi gave everyone extra height.

She didn’t know for sure if it was a flat rate or proportional, so she went out on the town, looking for some kind of measuring tape -- the type she used for work wasn’t long enough for a person’s actual height. She managed to find a place unfortunate enough to be open past midnight and she and the person checking out her item shared ‘I wish I was dead’ expressions.

It was here that she dragged everyone out of bed to measure their heights as civilians versus as heroes (without shoes, obviously).

They were clearly very annoyed by this, but it was nearing three o’clock at this point and she had spent an entire day looking at shoes. The look on her face was absolutely murderous. They opted to just quietly do what she said so they could go back to sleep as soon as possible.

5 centimeters. Everyone grew by 5 centimeters.

She wasn’t quite sure why this happened, nor did she really care. It was just important for her calculations.

~Calculations over~

So he was anywhere from 215 to 225 centimeters. Unreasonably tall, really. There could only be a few people of that height in Paris.

After doing some searching she figured out that there were probably about 5 people in all of Paris that were that height.

She just had to… find them? Somehow?

Whatever. She should also do some quick things to distinguish Hawkmoth from the others. She grabbed an extra sheet of printer paper and started writing things down.

A semi-muscular build, possibly bald, stupidhead, terrible fashion sense...

She fell back on the couch for a quick breather.

She was getting a headache. What was it from? The caffeine? Dehydration? Was she clenching her teeth? Who knows.

Ladybug pulled her phone out and checked the time…

Four-thirty.

She had time to finish that sketch for Jagged Stone before their eight o’clock appointment. It would be close, though.

She changed while she waited for her coffee to brew (How many pots had she had since yesterday? Four? Five? Whatever, it was probably fine) and then got to work.

She looked up a while later when Chloe walked down for breakfast. It was seven now, then. She would need to leave soon…

“Kwami, Ladybug, you look awful!”

“Thanks,” she said, her eyes falling back to the sketch. It didn’t have enough… yeah, that was the end of the sentence. It was too plain, but she couldn’t seem to --.

She felt hands rest over her cheeks and she looked up to see Chloe standing over her. “You need to sleep.”

“I need to get to an appointment.”

“I WILL use Sticky Situation if I have to.”

Ladybug wasn’t impressed.

“Pollen, buzz on.”

Ladybug blinked at the miraculous holder in front of her and then gasped. Of course! She’d forgotten accessories! No wonder it felt empty!

Kwami, she really was tired, huh?

She put some quick accessories down, careful to make all the items kind of tiny so Jagged wouldn’t be able to tell the ideas weren’t fully fleshed out yet, and then smiled at Chloe as she got up to leave. “Thanks, Queenie. I gotta go, I’ll sleep later.”

“But --!”

She was already gone.

The meeting went well. Yay. She kept her job.

She walked home, happy to just be done with that really long day --.

She randomly chanced a look in the window as she passed and winced when she saw Chloe waiting for her on the couch. She was far too tired to deal with a lecture. She transformed and flew into her room through the window.

… now what? Should she sleep?

Nah. She had patrols that night. Might as well just stay up through it all.

She yawned into her hand and headed down to Rena’s room. She might as well tell her what she’d figured out.

She knocked her head against the wooden door instead of her fist in an attempt to wake herself up a little and smiled when it opened.

“You look…”

“I’ve been told. Anyways, I’ve finished doing math and stuff. Come look.”

Ladybug grabbed Rena’s arm before the other could even say anything and pulled her down to the kitchen where she’d done the calculations.

Rena looked over everything for a few moments before her eyes widened.

“... hey, quick question, why does it say he has a ‘condom-head’?”

That got Ladybug awake. Her eyes found their way to the list of attributes she’d written while sleep-deprived.

Her eyes went wide with horror.

Because there, in handwriting that was definitely hers, were the words ‘stupid-looking condom-head’.

Fuck.

~~~

Taglist

@nathleigh @mialuvscats @sassakitty @th1s-1s-my-aesthet1c @blueslushgueen @woe-is-me0 @ladybug-182 @cas-and-their-refusal-to-write

[cancerbiophd]

hey! could i ask you some advice on how to network in grad school? i also have to pick a research group and idk how to do that either. I'm pretty much on the introverted anxious-wreck side and i don't know how to approach profs and senior students. how was it for you in your first year of grad? x

Hi there! 

Here’s my top advice on networking in grad school:

Create a LinkedIn account. This really should be a necessity nowadays, because it’s the best way to stay connected on a professional level; no other platform allows you to quickly (and passively, which is great for introverts) see what company people are at right now, etc. So create an account, stay active on it, and use it to form and maintain your connections. I quite literally landed my industry job out of my PhD via LinkedIn. 

Get to know the other grad students--not just in your immediate cohort, but also older grad students, younger grad students, grad students from other programs, etc. They will be your colleagues, now and forever. Same goes with anyone else you come into contact with, including post-docs, research techs, professors, etc. If approaching older students/professors is intimidating, just start with your classmates. Any connection is a good connection. Joining any events your program or the grad college offers (like volunteering) is also a great casual way to meet people. You don’t have to become BFF’s with them--just know them enough so they’ll remember who you are when you add them on LinkedIn!

An under-appreciated place to network are poster sessions. Check out my post about “Networking at conferences” for more info (and to read other tips I have there). Not sure when in-person conferences will return in the world of Covid, but it doesn’t hurt to keep them in the back of your mind. 

Informational interviews are great informal ways to learn more about a job or company. I did one over the phone with a program alumnus who was working at a company I had hoped to join after graduating, and here are the questions I asked him: Possible questions to ask during an informational interview

Keep in touch using LinkedIn messaging, or email. Phone calls and in-person meetings stress me out too, so I much prefer written communication where I can re-write my message to my heart’s content. Keep in touch with past professors, mentors, and just anyone who has helped you by sending brief updates on your life, holiday greetings, etc. 

If you don’t know how to approach someone, asking for their advice is always a good route to take. People love talking about themselves and doling out personal advice on what they’re most experienced about. So sending an email like, “I’ve just applied to this position at your company--do you think it’s a good fit for me and what advice would you offer if I move forward with interviews?” or even just “I want to be in your shoes someday; what advice can you give me?” stuff like that. (Also great for job interviews when you have a few more minutes to kill lol. I love asking: “So what was your path like to this company?” and then sit back and relax for a good 5 min.)

Here are some other masterposts of mine to check out for general grad school advice, including posts on picking research groups peppered in (some may have links that repeat themselves):

Post #1 

Post #2

Post #3

As for what my first year was like, it’s in my FAQ page (if you scroll down to “What’s grad school like?”. In general it was a whirlwind of just trying to learn a million things at once, but I took it a day at a time :) I was lucky to have a great support group in my cohort, grad program, friends, and then eventual thesis lab. 

I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any other questions. Best of luck during your grad journey!

[obxhoe]

Leather and Lace || Rudy Pankow {1}

Lovers forever face to face My city your mountains Stay with me stay I need you to love me I need you today Give to me your leather Take from me my lace

(eek i’m nervous about this. hope y’all enjoy. message me if you wanna be on my taglist!)

CHAPTER ONE

ZOE’S POV:

Sophie’s alarm clock is blaring yet again after the third time she had snoozed it this morning. I can hear it in my bedroom… across the freaking hallway. I pad into her room,

“Soph.” No response. “Soph!” I whisper-yell. “Sophie!!!” She jolts up, ripping her eye mask off.

“I’m up. I’m up.” 

“I’m leaving in 20 minutes for class, I won’t be home until at least 11 tonight, I told Liv I would have dinner and a wine night at her place.”

“I’m probably sleeping at Aaron’s tonight so…” I raise an eyebrow at her. Aaron is this new guy she met over Bumble and the two of them have been seeing each other every day since their first date 3 weeks ago.

“Alright well have fun and try not to do anything dumb”

“You know I always do” I laugh and shut her door, walking to my vanity to quickly put on some makeup and grab my stuff. 

I’m about a quarter way through my senior year at NYU, and about a quarter away from an existential crisis. I’m not sure what I want to do with my life yet. Basically every single one of my friends have boyfriends and they talk about marriage and babies and all that shit. And it’s cute. But I’m fine on my own. My last boyfriend Peter always had me feeling suffocated. The constant “Babe” and “Baby”. The obligation of having to FaceTime someone all the time. Having to be around someone every minute of every day. I was exhausted all the time. Currently, I’m an international business major with a minor in accounting. Taking a full course load, and working a part time job in an accounting firm on top of that. I don’t exactly have time for anything else. 

I check the time and see that I’m running 5 minutes late. I slip on mom jeans, a giant t-shirt I stole from my dad years ago and run out the door. The walk to school is always my favorite part of the day. The West Village was my dream neighborhood to live in and once I saved up enough money from working throughout school, I finally was able to rent a tiny two bedroom apartment. I mindlessly scroll through social media as I speed walk to “campus”, it’s really just a few buildings in the city, there’s no open space or anything. Unless you count Washington Square Park. I pass the West 4th street subway station and my phone fumbles out of my hand as a result of someone walking straight into me.

“Fuck. fuck fuck fuck.” I say grabbing my phone and seeing the screen cracked. This is not exactly what I need at this moment.

“I am so sorry” I hear a voice above me, “I’m not from here, which I guess you can tell. Uh, I’m a little lost. I think? I’m not sure where I’m going or what uptown and downtown mean on the subways. Sorry, I’m rambling. Oh my god!” He sees my phone. “I’m so sorry. Shit. I can get you a new one.”

“Ok chill for a sec dude” I stand up brushing my hair out of my eyes. “At least buy a girl coffee before you offer up a phone.”

“Oh you’re not mad. I thought most people who live here have a stick up their ass all the time” He says, and I finally look up at his face. Those eyes, those fucking eyes. My breath catches in my throat as I realize I’m staring at him. Something about him looks or feels familiar but I can’t place my finger on it.

“Uh yeah most people are like that.”

“So are you not from here?” He asks “Cause ya know, you’re nice and stuff.” 

“Oh no I live here. I go to NYU, I’m actually on my way there now.” I look at my phone to check the time but I can barely see due to the cracked screen. 

“Uh it’s 9:0-”

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me” I groan loudly, class started at 9.

“Late for class…?” he asks cautiously, not sure if he’s going to make it worse or not.

“Yes. I have to go, like right now.” I say starting to turn to walk away.

“Wait. Let me buy you that coffee so we can discuss the phone thing. Today isn’t great for me, how does tomorrow sound?” I nod and he hands me his phone. “Put in your number.” I quickly type in my information and hand him back the phone. “Well Zoe,” He says looking down at my contact, “I hope to see you later.”

“You too, I didn’t catch your name though.”

“Rudy. Rudy Pankow.”

“Well Rudy,” I look at him, flashing a small smirk “I’ll be looking forward to your text.” I turn and walk away as fast as I can. Of all the things that make me anxious, being late to class is pretty high up on the list. But I think the idea of meeting Rudy for coffee is consuming my mind more than the fact that I’m late is. I slip into the back of the lecture hall about 15 minutes late, luckily not drawing any attention to myself. I take out my notebook and try to take notes, but my mind is elsewhere.

RUDY’S POV:

I don’t know where the hell I am right now. Chase was completely wrong when he said the New York subway system would be easy to figure out. I have to go film a few interviews for Buzzfeed about season two and I’m lost. Totally lost. 

“West 4th street-Washington Square” The crackle comes over the speaker. 

“Fuck it” I mumble and get off. I can just take an Uber, so much for trying to get the whole experience. I walk up the stairs trying to order an Uber, getting more and more frustrated by the minute. All of a sudden I slam into what I can only hope is another tourist, the last thing I need is someone yelling at me for looking at my phone. 

“Fuck. fuck fuck fuck.” I hear a voice from next to me mutter.

“I am so sorry” Fuck. She’s beautiful, and I’m just straight up dumb. “I’m not from here, which I guess you can tell. Uh, I’m a little lost. I think? I’m not sure where I’m going or what uptown and downtown mean on the subways. Sorry, I’m rambling.” For fucks sake Rudy shut the fuck up. I look to her hand and see that I shattered her entire phone and my stomach drops. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry. Shit. I can get you a new one.” Yes good job. Just offer up an entirely new phone, that’ll help. I mentally smack my forehead. 

“Ok chill for a sec dude” She stands up, locking her eyes with mine. My eyes can’t decide where to look. Her eyes? her lips? She’s stunning. “At least buy a girl coffee before you offer up a phone.” My face turns bright red. I’m a fucking idiot. She’s running late and I decide to just shoot my shot. I shove my phone at her offering up coffee. A smile breaks onto my face when she takes it and types in her contact info. Zoe. 

“Well Rudy, I’ll be looking forward to your text” She smirks at me. God dammit I have never seen anything like her before. She spins on her heel and rushes away. I slide into the nearest taxi, not getting the chance to order an Uber. What the hell just happened?

ZOE’S POV:

I can’t get him off my mind. This isn’t like me at all. Usually I turn random men on the street down, I mean who doesn’t? What if this guy is a serial killer. God Zoe what did you do. Ok but he seems nice enough right? Ugh. I stare at my glass of wine, mind wandering.

“Earth to Zoe” Liv waves her hand in front of my face. I blink and look up.

“Sorry I’m exhausted. Too many unhappy clients today.”

“Uh huh sure.” She rolls her eyes and my friend Katie laughs next to her.

“What?!” I say, a little too defensively.

“Who’s the guy? You only ever act like this, all out of it and daydreamy when there’s a guy”

“There’s no gu-” I get cut off.

“Oh don’t even try. Who is he.” Katie slides next to me and pours more wine in my glass.

“It’s really no one. I met him on the street, he sort of smashed my phone. Well I guess I did. When he ran into me. And then he offered to buy me a new phone just like that. I was like well at least buy me a coffee first, you know, jokingly. But then he actually made a date for tomorrow to get coffee. He said he’d text me, but it’s been hours so I doubt it’ll actually happen. Probably is just being nice.” I mumble the last sentence. 

“A guy on the street?” Liv raises her voice.

“Are you crazy?” Katie says, setting her wine glass down a little too hard.

“I know I know. But something about him just felt familiar. Like I had seen him before or something. He seems our age, he had these insane blue eyes. I couldn’t stop staring.” I look down at the table. “I probably won’t even go, it’s a dumb idea.” 

“Dude, you’ll find someone. I promise. It just takes time” I look over to Liv.

“That’s the thing though. I don’t even want someone, I’m fine on my own right now. If I started seeing a guy, I wouldn’t have time for him, the two of you, work and school. I would literally have a mental breakdown.” I laugh. Part of me knows I’m lying. I don’t want a boyfriend, that part is true. But if that boyfriend was Rudy, I would have to reconsider. That’s crazy right? I’m definitely going crazy. I don’t even know this guy.

“Ok well let’s get drunk and watch hot boys on TV. There’s a show Liv and I wanted to watch on Netflix called Outer Banks. Have you seen it yet?” Katie asks me as she goes to the couch.

“I don’t have the time for that.” I plop down next to her.

“So that’s a no” She grabs the remote.

“I’m so fucking excited. I keep seeing stuff about the show everywhere, season two is coming out next week.” Liv squeals. Katie starts the show and I start chugging my wine so I can get a new glass. I choke on my wine and spit it out all over the ivory rug.

“Zoe! What the Fuck?!” Liv yells, obviously pissed I just ruined her rug. But I can’t stop coughing. I look back to the TV to make sure I’m not seeing things. It’s him, I could never forget those eyes.

“That’s him” I choke out, “That’s the guy who I ran into today.”

“Rudy Pankow? The guy on the TV right now? Are you sure?” Katie looks at me.

“There’s no way.” Liv shakes her head.

“I’m dead serious. That’s the guy.” My phone vibrates from across the room and we all look at each other. I run over to look at it.

Meet me at Think Coffee in SoHo tomorrow at 3pm. Apple Store right next door ;) -Rudy

“No. Fucking. Way”

Taglist: @pink-meringues​ @x-lulu​ @perkeusjackson​

[lindsayrises]

Yesterday

This is a long one.  I don’t really know how to do this whole “below the break” thing.  Hopefully it works!

Yesterday morning I went into work for a little bit.  Around 10:30 I looked at my messy desk and the piles of papers on the counter I wanted to organize before Monday.

I thought, “Just leave now, and you can come in early (like 4 or 5) and finish on Monday.”

Then i thought, “One of my new work rules is that I can’t arrive before 6.  Yeah, Monday would just be one day, but I can’t keep breaking these rules...these promises to myself.”  So I stayed a little longer and got enough done where I’ll come in on Monday (at 6) to a clean, organized space. 

For some reason I was really proud of this thought and decision.  It’s worth noting that all morning I felt SO happy! 

On the way home from work my stomach literally sank.  I just had this sinking feeling when I realized, “If I’m not working as much, what WILL I do?”  If you’ve followed along for a while, you might remember that for the past several years (I think it started in the Summer of 2016) I have mightily struggled with finding things to occupy my time. 

My body responds physically to the same way I respond to stress when i am asked the question, “What do you like to do for fun?”  I thought about it for a little, then put it out of my mind.

I went to the grocery store, got home, cleaned my house, started some laundry, did some cooking and meal prep, and was feeling okay.

Then I asked my friend to send me a picture of his new baby boy.  He sent me a picture of him holding the baby.  And I just started sobbing.  Not because of the kid thing, but because I feel so alone.  All the time.  I want someone to love me.  I want to have someone to love.  I want someone to do life with.  I am terrified I will never, ever have that.

I cried (hard...like, ugly, loud crying) for at least an hour.  During that time I had the following thoughts:

1.  I don’t like what my life is right now.  And I have no one to blame but myself - for the choices that brought me here, the missed opportunities....I just feel like I have fucked up so much.

2.  I work so much to stay busy and distract myself - so I don’t have to think about certain things (like being alone and feeling unlovable and other uncomfortable things) and feel certain feelings.  If I’m not working, I’m sleeping, or numbing out with food, shopping (usually online, sometimes in person), endless scrolling, watching TV, and sometimes (not every often) drinking.

3.  One thing that stands in between me and having some sort of hobby is that I feel like everything I do needs to have some sort of product or outcome.  To do something just because it’s fun?  That’s like a foreign concept to me.  Maybe I just make things too hard.

4.  I continue to think my body is fucking ruined, and it’s my fault.  I had a beautiful body - a body that made me feel beautiful, attractive, and confident - that I worked so hard for in 2011.  And then I threw it all away.

5.  I was getting dressed and I moved in a way that hurt my shoulder (the one I injured in January).  My IMMEDIATE thought?  I wouldn’t have hurt my shoulder if I wasn’t so fat.  How messed up is that thinking?  EVERYTHING goes back to my weight/size.  Every.fucking.thing.

6.  I don’t think I’m lovable, good enough, worthy of anything because of my weight/size.  I know deep inside that’s not true.  But it’s what I believe 99% of the time.  It’s soul-crushing.

7.  I think I might just print out this post and read it to M (therapist) on Monday.  I clearly have so much shit to work out (duh).

During this time I was texting Amy ( @honestlyamy​) and my friend/cousin Jessica.  Thank God for wonderful friends.

After that shitty hour+, I met up with Tim and Victoria ( @livinwithaltitude​ and @learning2manage​ ) at a winery to listen to some music and, well, drink some wine.  I managed to stop crying.  It was a beautiful night and it was so good to see T & V.  I might borrow one of Victoria’s bikes to see if it’s something I like doing.  For several years I’ve thought about buying a bike, but I honestly don’t know if I would actually use it.

When I got home, I ate a bunch of chocolate and drank some more wine.  Every now and then I got tearful.  I was doing some laundry and fell asleep in the guest bed.  I woke up once or twice in the middle of the night, but was able to fall back asleep relatively quickly.

I woke up at 3:30 this morning (without an alarm).  My eyes hurt from all of the crying from yesterday.  I will never, ever understand how I can go from being so happy to being such a mess a few hours later.  I think I was especially frustrated with the downhill slide because Thursday and Friday seemed to have such positive turning points.  I felt like I was on an upward trend.  I crashed hard yesterday.

Anyway, today is my self-care Sunday.  A few things the day will include:

OrangeTheory with one of my favorite coaches

New flowers (for home and classroom)

buy the best chocolate (some dark chocolate, caramel, sea salt combination thing from trader joe’s)

Candles going all damn day

meditate

yoga (like a super short 10 minute very beginner level video on youtube)

write some notes to people

drinking lots of water

eating food i have at home

journal

watch Hamilton (finally)

listen to music

snuggle with Ramsey

open the windows (it should be another beautiful day)

spend more time outside

possible car wash (it’s been a long time)

Other things I wanted to get done this weekend that I did yesterday:  drive in the country, work on my budget, go to the grocery store, spend time outside, do laundry, and clean my house.

So, I guess that’s all for now.  As my friend Jessica reminded me, there will be ebbs and flows.  And it’s okay to feel the highs and the lows.

If you’re still reading, you get a gold star!

I’ll leave you with this, in case you need to see it, too.  I saw it on one of my favorite IG accounts (blessingmanifesting) last night and, big surprise, I started crying. 

I hope today is whatever you need it to be.  

[chilled-gay-baker]

Anything in italics is newly written content. Tonight (Like 3 Months Ago) I have discovered Analosleep, a Virgil X Logan X Remy ship, and I just need to share my ideas for you all. (Fair warning, the first part of this was written at 1:30 AM, the next around 9:30, and I never finished the story. I lost interest once I realized that there was a bunch of time skips. It's several months later, so keep that in mind. So, if the writing is weird and jumps, don't worry about it.)

Whenever I read fanfiction, Logan always wakes up nice and early, drinks some coffee, and goes to bed at a reasonable time. But uh, I am gonna change that up. Logan doesn't go to sleep until very late. He doesn't need sleep, he needs answers.

Meanwhile, Virgil either wakes up at like 5 am after going to sleep at like midnight (meaning I am already beating him on whose going to bed later) or he wakes up at like 2 pm after going to bed at like 5 am. His sleeping schedule won't change a whole lot.

I have only once seen someone write a story or idea in which Remy is actually asleep, and that was like 10 minutes ago. So, for me, Remy can literally fall asleep anytime he so decides. 9 pm, 4 am, noon, honestly he doesn't mind, but usually early to late morning is when he sleeps.

--------------

3:28 AM

That meant that Roman, Patton, Janus, and Remus were all asleep for a few hours at this point, or at least were close to it. All this meant to Virgil was that it was time to do what he wanted.

And tonight, why not see his boyfriends?

Virgil finally had the coffee ready to go seem them.

Logans was iced and in a clear travel mug, Remy's iced with cream except in a glittery Starbucks cup, and Virgil had his own travel mug, except with burning black coffee.

He walked down one of the halls, knocking on one of the doors three times with one of his feet, to alert Remy, before he went to Logan's room, doing the same, but twice. Having done this time and time again, Logan opened up the door, before going right back to whatever odd thing he was googling that night.

Virgil walked into the room, placing the iced coffee travel mug next to Logan on his desk, before throwing himself down on the floor with his back against the wall, and opened up Tumblr.

Not a minute later, Remy came in, shutting the door, thanking Virgil for the coffee, before flopping himself on Logan's bed and opening up his phone to scroll through Instagram.

"Do hummingbirds have legs?"

"Virgil, shut up and drink your coffee, you're starting to sound like Remus."

"No, seriously. Have you ever seen a hummingbird's legs before?"

Remy propped himself up against the headboard, taking a sip while glancing at Logan. "He's got a point babes. Just Google it."

Logan sighed, but proceeded to look it up.

"Hummingbirds don't have legs. They just have small feet," Logan said, eyes wide.

Today's new topic: why the fuck don't hummingbirds have legs.

Remy and Virgil heard sudden tapping of Logan's keyboard, and they knew they had just shoved their boyfriend down a rabbit hole.

As Logan continued to research about the scientific history of hummingbirds, Remy began talking about "some bitch who had the audacity..." or something along those lines, with Virgil and Logan asking questions about it and sharing their opinion from time to time. Once that was over, Remy found something new to gossip about, with Virgil and Logan occasionly saying something, keeping the conversation going, all while the faint noise of Logan's keyboard never stopped.

Meanwhile, Virgil sat, sharing his opinion with his boyfriends, with music playing very quietly in his through his headphones, so he could hear Logan and Remy clearly as he scrolled through memes on Tumblr.

Around 5 am Remy grabbed his keys and went out, then came back around 10 minutes later with more coffee and food for all of them. While the three ate, Logan explained to them the scientific history of hummingbirds, and Virgil began making wholesome hummingbird memes.

Logan passed out a little before 7, falling asleep at his desk, so they moved him onto the bed while Remy took Logan's chair. Virgil put Logan's empty travel mug in the sink and threw out Logan's trash, saving what Logan didn't finish, while Remy did his own trash, and Virgil threw out his. Once that was done, the two quietly talked as they scrolled through social media.

Remy fell asleep a little after 8, still spinning slightly in Logan's rolling chair, his glasses slipping down his nose.

Virgil turned up the volume on his music and put his head back against the wall. Not too long after, he headed out after grabbing Remy's keys (who knew his baby was safe with Virgil), and kissing both his boyfriends on the forehead. Virgil had already slept enough last night before going to Logan's room to not sleep for hours, whereas he could assume Logan and Remy did not.

He came back around 12 with lunch for everybody, knowing everyone would be awake by now. As everybody took the food, he silently handed Remy back his keys, nobody except Logan saw it though. And they didn't want anybody to see.

Virgil, Logan, and Remy had all begun dating 8 months ago, and had fallen into a routine of hanging out in one of their rooms at night (depending on who was awake), going out and wandering around town, or going out in the middle of the day at separate times, and then all meeting up at one location or another.

Whenever one of the three came back with food like Virgil did today, the others didn't think much of it. They assumed the side had passed by them without them noticing, and had really only left not too long ago, not drove around town for three to four hours. And the three of them were quite happy with said arrangement.

They decided to keep it a pretty secret relationship. Logan and Virgil didn't want the others to make a big fuss, and Remy, despite constantly being on social media, wanted to keep this a private aspect of his life. They would tell the other sides eventually, but it wasn't the first thought on their minds.

I finished writing the story at this point. I'm not going to continue writing it as I finished this months ago, and I've lost motivation for it. If you liked this story, you should check out my account, cause I have some more content there.

Also humming birds have legs, I did not know that when I wrote this story.

[elencelebrindal]

Gold Saints Power Ranked

So, according to the conversation I had with my friends, that started the previous post about Shaka, this is the result. I am trying to be realistic here, as much as Saint Seiya can allow me. So, no pot bullshit and no miraculous victory for the sake of the show.

Only five of them are properly ranked. All the other ones fall under the same category, sort of.  Mostly anime based, but there’s a few canon information from the manga as well. I wanted to be as thorough as possible. 

Under the cut so if you’re not interested you don’t need to scroll down like a madman. This is a really long post, and it contains all the stuff I’ve written over time plus the conclusions I’ve got from talking about this with my friends. 

I will hopefully be back with the honest opinions maybe on Wednesday. It depends on what happens the day before. 

#1 Virgo Shaka

“The man closest to god” If this alone doesn’t convince you that he’s the most powerful of the Gold Saints, remember what the premise of this character is.  Eyes closed as to stockpile huge amounts of cosmo, almost a literal deity who has Buddha with him, feared by everyone at the Sanctuary, his “death” shocked every single Saint in a five mile radius.  He used the Athena Exclamation to awaken the Eight Sense and travel to the Underworld, instead of... you know, just being annihilated from existence thanks to the power of the Big Bang. 

He wasn’t the strongest Gold Saint in the past, being overpowered by Aiolos and the twins, but became the most powerful (especially in terms of cosmo) thanks to constant training and refining.  Moreover, he has 13 years of training more that Aiolos, and possibly a good amount of training more than Saga (because come on, you really think he thought about becoming stronger during his tyranny?) and Kanon (was trapped in Cape Sounion for more that 5 minutes, I believe).

All of his techniques are terrifying. His illusions are straight-up dangerous, almost impossible to overcome, and he can get rid of a person’s five and/or six senses in the blink of an eye.  Not even Saga, Camus and Shura, who knew him and were still as powerful as they were before dying, could escape from that. 

#2 Saga & Kanon

Yes, they are more powerful than Aiolos. Why, you ask? Canonically, Saga is the strongest Gold Saint of his generation and the most powerful Saint to have ever served Athena. Kanon is basically the same. They’re not the actual strongest Saints just because it’s really illogical for them to be better than Shaka, and I’m not going 100% canon here, but somewhat 50/50 between canon and “realism”.  And...  Well, they’re been alive for longer. For the same exact reason, by the Hades Chapter, Kanon is way stronger than Saga, even though they’ve been on the same level until Saga’s death during the Sanctuary Arc. There’s no way I’ll believe that Kanon didn’t get stronger during the time Saga was dead. It’s unrealistic. 

They both have incredible mind controlling power, a claim backed up by the Demon Emperor Fist (Saga successfully mind-controlled Aiolia with this, while Kanon did the same with both Lune and Rhadamanthys), and they're able to conjure extremely powerful illusions.  They’re obviously not on Shaka’s level, because let’s not forget what happened to Saga during the Sactuary Arc: Shiryu, being blind at the time, easily defeated his illusions.  And! Kanon was able to trick Saga when he came back as a Specter, even if he retaliated.  The most dangerous technique they have clearly shows their true cosmo, and I’m not talking about the Galaxian Explosion. Sure, that’s capable of obliterating anything and anyone in its path, but it can be countered.  No, I’m talking about their ability to send people in other dimensions.  Saga’s Another Dimension and Kanon’s Golden Triangle (I think this is the English name, I might be wrong) are something to be afraid of. Not even the Thanos snap can compare to that. One second you’re chilling out in your dimension, the other you’re lost in nothingness for the rest of eternity. 

But, in the past, Aiolos was stronger than them. They only got so far, in the present day, because Aiolos died, thus allowing them to surpass him. 

Still on #2 Dohko

To whoever thinks Dohko is not one of the most powerful Gold Saints of this generation... what the hell are you doing!? Seriously, though.  Dohko survived his generation’s Holy War, 100% not out of luck, and is by far the most experienced of them all. Not only that, his cosmo is clearly out of this world. This man, misopethamenos (I had to do a double take on that one) or not, spent two hundred years without using a single drop of his cosmo.  And believe me, even if his heart slowed down, I doubt his cosmo would have simply stopped growing. It was still two hundred years. Do you want me to believe he just stayed there, idly watching, without gaining anything from that much time passing? Yeah, no. 

Still don’t believe me? Saga himself, in the manga, said that he’s the strongest Saint.  Not enough to overpower Shaka, obviously for the reasons stated above, but enough to retain his second place alongside the twins. 

#3 Aiolos

Yes, your heard me right. Third place.  Fair is fair. Aiolos was so powerful that Shion wanted him to be the next Pope. There is no denying that, and there is no denying that canonically he was stronger that Saga.  But... you see the problem, right? Aiolos died in the past. Even if he was the strongest back then, he had no way of keeping his strength going.  I still believe no one, aside from who already was as powerful as him, could be able to become stronger, so that’s the reason he gets third place.

By the time he came back in the Hades Chapter, I saw absolutely no reasons to believe it was still possible to describe him as the strongest of them all. Moreover, I saw no reasons to believe, would Aiolos be still alive, that he could claim the title of Pope as his own.  Realistically speaking, by the end of the show, Aiolos is probably the one with the least experience (having died young this sentence sounds weird) and anyone would be a better choice than him.  But we’re talking about cosmo, and his cosmo gets him the third place. 

#4 Mu

Yep.  Our beloved self-licensed blacksmith gets a spot among the most powerful Gold Saints of this generation.  Why? First of all, his master was Shion. And if you have a good master, you are a good disciple.  Second, he has the strongest psychic powers of his generation. Much like Shion, in fact. No one is better than him at psychokinesis, teleportation and telepathy, and this is backed up by the Sanctuary Arc.  Remember the time Shaka asked for his help because he didn’t have enough power to teleport both himself and Ikki back to Athena’s Sanctuary? Because I do. 

He might not be that memorable, in fact even one of my friends claimed he isn’t that good, but I beg to differ.  Mu is experienced, he had Shion to help him become a Gold Saint, he can repair any Cloth thanks to his skill, and he’s dangerous. Even if the classic series doesn’t give us the impression Mu could be a real threat, the Hades Chapter fixes everything.  The Crystal Wall? Impenetrable. The Starlight Extinction? Oh boy, what a treat. In fact, this technique in particular tells you how versatile Mu’s ability with psychic power is, since he’s able to use it both defensively (aka when he teleported Seiya away from the battle) and offensively (aka when he teleported Deathmask and Aphrodite with the objective to kill them). 

Don’t tell me he can be underestimated. because he will kick your ass into outer space. 

#5 is all of the other ones, in no particular order, because I believe they are mostly on the same level. Well, that... and they haven’t been described as “the strongest” in canon works. 

Milo

Kind of obvious I would still start with him, but at this point you know who my favorite of this 12 idiots is.  Milo’s power is a tricky one. At first it might not seem much, and I’ve been around people who described him as weak, but that’s inaccurate.  First of all, I think many people forget how devastating Milo’s cosmo is, showed to us by the destruction of Andromeda Island, but this is not the point I’m making. 

Rather, I want to focus your attention on the Scarlet Needle.  Which, admittedly, is a scary technique, to the point of Milo not using it if the opponent surrenders.  We know that Gold Saints are not spotless heroes. They kill without thinking twice about it, they’re brutal, they never abandon a fight until someone dies. Taking this into account, the sheer fact that Milo refuses to use the Scarlet Needle on someone who surrenders is enough to make you think about it. It is stated time and time again what the Scarlet Needle is and what it does. One single hit can make the victim suffer tremendous amounts of pain, even if it doesn’t kill. If we say that this technique mimics the way a scorpion’s poison works, it’s even worse because of the effect it could have on the body.  Canonically, the Scarlet Needle causes potentially lethal blood loss on top of agonizing pain, and (but I’m not sure about this) could get rid of the five senses. Moreover, the victim can easily go crazy due to the amount of pain, and I’ve always believed a realistic effect would be an early body paralysis. He uses a technique called Restriction, after all.

Sure, if he doesn’t use Antares, if the victim doesn’t die of blood loss or succumbs to the pain, this technique can be survived. But I don’t think anyone less than a Gold Saint, a Marina General or a Judge could actually survive without Milo’s help. After all, we do see Milo stopping the course of his technique with both Hyoga and Kanon.  The reason why I don’t believe he’s stronger than the average Gold Saint of this generation (don’t forget that all of them are god-tier warriors in any case) is the random chance this technique bears. One hit cannot kill a strong opponent, and even if his entire fighting style is based on quick actions there’s no way for him to predict if every single needle will hit, and there’s no way for him to know if someone he hit with Antares would 100% die. In most cases the victim dies, but they have a slight chance of surviving. 

Camus

Let’s immediately address the elephant in the room. Camus cannot reach the Absolute Zero.  Now, while in my non-canonic works I go the realistic way and make him master this temperature, I will be keeping my logic ass down.  The only thing that makes Camus different from the other Gold Saints is the fact that he uses his cosmo to stop the atoms, instead of manipulating them in other ways. In one word, cold.  There’s nothing else special about him, and I will not be biased by the fact that I love this character.  He is a cold person, he can appear insensitive and strict, but nothing about him tells me he is more powerful than the average Gold. He’s just different, not stronger. 

Obviously, I recognize how dangerous his Freezing Coffin is. If you get trapped in there, it’s over. It might not be deadly (even if it should definitely be, given a normal person is going to suffocate inside a solid block of ice), but it’s something to be afraid of.  However, it has some important weaknesses. One, it’s almost useless against moving targets. It takes too long to create, so encapsulating a person that’s moving around is not happening. Two, anyone who is able to create a lower temperature while being inside it can get out. On a more realistic level, I believe the Freezing Coffin could be an almost instantaneous technique. Camus’ cosmo is definitely able to summon enough cold energy to create one without needing too much time (think about the Freezing Coffin in Saint Seiya Awakening), but! since he’s not actually able to be that fast... you see where I’m going with this. 

Aphrodite

He has the same problem that made me put Milo in the average Gold Saints. I know that he’s dangerous, that his roses are not something to underestimate, but there’s a huge problem with random chance here.  He is said to be one of the strongest among the Saints, and people are terrified of him because of his fighting abilities and personality, but I don’t think he makes the cut to be on top simply because of the fact he mostly relies on items to channel his cosmo. Roses and vines can be effective up to a certain point, cosmo or not.  Even his most powerful technique, the Bloody Rose, can be stopped much more easily than a blow fired with raw cosmo (that is a weird sentence and I know). It can be destroyed before it hits, and a person can successfully shield themselves. I know a Bloody Rose is powerful enough to pierce a Gold Cloth, but it can be stopped. In the end, the effective power of the rose lies in Aphrodite’s ability to use it, but if his opponent knows him or uses a good defensive technique... well, it won’t work.  The vines are similar. Sure, they’re imbued with cosmo, but someone could be able to counteract them, and then what? 

Now, if Aphrodite had one particular technique, one that we’ve seen another Pisces Saint use... things would have been different. I would have believed with no question asked that he deserves to be above average.  What technique am I talking about? Crimson Thorn. Albafica’s unique attack, that he can use thanks (ironically) to his poisonous blood.  That technique doesn’t rely on external items. It doesn’t require roses, or vines, or anything else. Just the blood of the Saint. It’s dangerous because it’s almost impossible to counteract, I believe it to be extremely difficult to be aware of if you’re the opponent, and it’s lethal. That’s pure poison shot straight into your body, with no other media used to inject it.  Unfortunately for Aphrodite (or luckily?) he cannot use it, so the random chance of his attacks is very much still there, hindering my ability to put him at the top. 

Deathmask

Right off the bad, I deeply respect his psychic abilities. Being able to reach all the way to China with his cosmo is not an easy feat. This is similar to what Camus did to sink the ship even more, but ten times more powerful, since he actually took control of Shunrei’s body to make it levitate and fall.  But is this enough to win him the top spot? Nope.

Of course, I’m not saying he’s not powerful. Deathmask is able to snatch the soul off of his opponent body and send it straight to the  Yomotsu Hirasaka. That alone is scary. Imagine if there is a man, out there, capable of pointing his finger at you and BOOM you’re not in the realm of living anymore. Your body id still out there, but your soul is trapped with the souls of the dead, ready to die as well.  The thing is... there’s nothing else about him. Sure, he can use his cosmo to travel between the two places, but we don’t know how powerful he really is.  With us knowing just one technique, and with him not getting that much attention, I have no reasons to say he deserves to be on top.  I have no evidence of him being more powerful than the average.  There is a reason I liked Manigoldo more than him, after all. 

Aldebaran

Ok. Aldebaran is a problem I didn’t account for when writing this.  Technically, he is the strongest of them all. Physically, at least. He might not have that tremendous cosmo of his fellows in the top 5, but he is the most powerful in terms of physical strength.  Because of this, I was conflicted about whether to put him, if above average or among average.  In the end, I decided for the latter. Sure, Aldebaran is an amazing fighter, and could have easily defeated the Bronze Saints at his temple (as stated by Mu, he didn’t fight to his full potential), but physical strength is not the most important characteristic in a Saint. At least, not in a Gold Saint.  There’s a lot of enemies in the Saint Seiya world that are not going to be defeated by using physical strength. And even though I fully believe the physical strength of a Saint can overpower another person’s cosmo, I don’t think that mainly relying on it it’s a successful strategy. 

Of course, betting everything on your cosmo is useless as well, and the Hades’ barrier is a perfect example of that, but there is a threshold you can cross with your cosmo (i.e. someone with a divine or almost divine cosmo would not have a single problem against this kind of defenses, realistically). With physical strength... eh, there’s a limit.  Spiritual power can be enhanced infinitely, I don’t see anything preventing you from doing that other than your own mind, but physical strength is different. I don’t care how powerful you cosmo is, how divine your blood is. Your body has limits than cannot be crossed, even supernaturally speaking.  You can refine your cosmo to the point of being able to break a planet in half, but there’s no way I’ll believe something like that is possible with physical strength, and that’s why Aldebaran is not above average.  It’s amazing that he’s so different from anyone else, but relying on something that is, no doubt, limited... eh, it makes him less powerful.

Aiolia

I can already fell you people coming for me for putting Aiolia among the average Saints. But honestly... can you blame me? I am aware of the “reincarnation of Achilles” thing, don’t worry. And I don’t deny in any way that he’s powerful and that he is undoubtedly a skilled fighter. But he doesn’t stand out that much. I asked some people to give me an opinion of him, and the majority of them said that Aiolia has to be really powerful since his master was Aiolos (like the thing between Mu and Shion), but I have my doubts.  First, Aiolia only trained with his brother for a short time. Second, even though Aiolos was his master, I don’t think it’s accurate to use this as an assumption for Aiolia being more than average. This situation was not a “master chooses his disciple” thing, but a “helping a little brother out” thing. 

Now, on a fighting skills level I think he is above average. There’s no way people started talking about him as Achilles, otherwise. He has a fiery personality, I respect that.  Though, his cosmo is not that out of the ordinary. Sure, he has a shit ton of techniques, much like his brother, but I have no evidence supporting the fact that he could be more that what we see.  I love that he has an healing cosmo, I cannot stress this out enough, and I love that people just tremble in fear because of his presence. But in terms of training he did nothing special, if anything all the gossip about him made it even more difficult to develop a cosmo similar to his brother’s. Like I said, I’m looking at the more logical path here, and it makes sense that his past would have taken away something from him. 

BUT I am absolutely not forgetting what Episode G told me. He can generate electricity with is cosmo, something that could kill gods. Now that’s something that would put him above average, for sure, if you don’t take everything else into account. 

Shura

He was difficult for me to analyze in terms of power, because it’s never actually him fighting with his raw cosmo, but it’s Excalibur. The sword resides in his arms and legs, so technically you could still say it’s him, but I though about it and concluded that yes, he is the one doing the fight, but without channeling his cosmo through Excalibur I don’t think he’d be that scary.  This doesn’t make Shura less than any other Saints, let me be clear. He is the Capricorn Saint, and the Capricorn Saint always had Excalibur to begin with. His capabilities are measured by looking at how skilled he is with Excalibur, not with his raw cosmo.  The reason why it was difficult for me to understand where to actually put him is the fact that Excalibur alone is a terrifying weapon (I know I keep using that word, but I’m honestly stressed out and my vocabulary is lost somewhere in my stress-free life).

As far as we know, every Capricorn Saint has a different level of skill and power regarding Excalibur. Capricorn Izo, for example, as Hyoga said had a stronger Excalibur than Shura. Capricorn El Cid, on the other hand, successfully used Excalibur to kill a minor god, even if aided by Sisyphus.  Shura as well knows the art of this sacred sword by heart, and in Episode G he reached the power of the gods, but this thing is never highlighted enough for me to actually be able to give him a spot among the above average Gold Saints. The majority of the things we know about him don’t spend particular amounts of time praising his power, and from what I can see I don’t want to gift him a spot he probably doesn’t deserve.  Even if I love him.

[sammisafetypin]

O1/WB Timeline Analysis

hi !! so I was curious about time stuff going on in outlast 1 and whistleblower , because lets be real , its .. not Terribly consistent and trying to write anything regarding th canon of o1 and wb is a nightmare because of it . so I was thinking about it , ended up googling how long a drive from DC to Colorado is , and from there ended up starting to analyze stuff like sky lighting , and I think I ended up with a pretty good idea of what rough times things start and end ! I was mostly curious about how long it takes for th riots to start , how long Waylon is in engine therapy* , and how long both Waylon and Miles spend in th asylum , and I think I came up with decent answers ! 

I wrote it all on a google doc originally , but i don’t know if tumblr still does that stupid thing where it won’t let posts with links show up in tags or not , so i’m just gonna copy-paste everything i wrote under th readmore 

rlly sorry if dere’z any inconsistenciez , i tried my best to make sure everything made sense and i THINK it does ? you can also scroll past th indented lists of me listing times by hour , i used em cuz i cant count * for th sake of simplicity i use ‘engine therapy’ to refer to what happens to waylon where he has to watch th engine but isnt put into th full thing

NOTE: this sort of jumps around because 1. I’m autistic and just sort of ramble out disjointedly like this and 2. I wrote it rather late at night . I tried to clean it up and write down stuff that pulls things together more coherently , but still .

—

We have very little point of reference for how long waylon went through engine therapy for before the riots , but we know that a drive from DC to Colorado is about 27 hours without stopping .

Waylon’s email was sent on Sept. 17, 2013 . there is no physical way that Miles could’ve showed up on the same day , and we know that the Mount Massive Incident took place on the 18th . Waylon writes his email and sends it approximately 2 hrs before the opening cinematic . we have no point of reference for what time it is — the computers in the start have no time displays that I can find , and we can’t see outside . We’ll get back around to that though — if we can figure out when Miles showed up and how long he took to show up , we can find out the email time .

Oh yeah , we’re hyper-analyzing . in Outlast 1 , when Miles arrives , it appears to be late sunset , probably civil or nautical  twilight . It’s storming but the horizon is visible , and the sun is far enough down that most of the sky is dark except for the west horizon . The differences of twilights are difficult to tell , especially because of the storm , but it looks like civil or nautical twilight . Sunset starts at 7:08 PM and nautical twilight ends at 8:06 PM on this exact day around Mount Massive . Visibility might be altered based on elevation , but 1. I don’t know how to account for that , and 2. I put Leadville into the website as well and received the same times beyond a one minute earlier difference for civil twilight , which is probably a result of just distance anyways . And , it’s most likely the asylum is built near ground level , because it’s unlikely that an insane asylum would be built on a high mountain cliff . All in all , for simplicity purposes we can say Miles showed up at around 7:30 PM on the 18th .

If we turn back the clock exactly 27 hours , that puts us at 

6 pm - 1 5 pm - 2 4 pm - 3 3 pm - 4 2 pm - 5 1 pm - 6 12 pm - 7 11 am - 8 10 am - 9  9 am - 10 8 am - 11 7 am - 12 6 am - 13 5 am - 14 4 am - 15 3 am - 16  2 am - 17  1 am - 18  12 am - 19  11 pm (sept 17th) - 20 10 pm - 21  9 pm - 22 8 pm - 23  7 pm - 24 6 pm - 25 5 pm - 26  4 pm - 27

4 PM on the 17th! if Miles literally drove for 27 hours straight , in perfect traffic without stopping once , and left immediately after receiving Waylon’s email , the email would’ve been sent about 4:30 PM on the 17th . but Miles is obviously very alert when he shows up , and probably not dumb enough to try to drive 27 hours without eating or sleeping . as a reporter , though , he’s probably also used to driving long distances . let’s give the benefit of perfect traffic and that he left immediately , and say that in total stopping for food , bathrooms , fuel , etc. added up to 2 hours . let’s say he split the drive into two sessions , perhaps a 16 hour and a shorter 11 hour , it doesn’t really matter , and slept 7 hours between them .

3 pm - 1 2 pm - 2 1 pm - 3  12 pm - 4  11 am - 5  10 am - 6  9 am - 7  8 am - 8  7 am - 9 

Being as time-conservative as possible , Waylon sent the email at ~7 AM on the 17th , and was first exposed to engine therapy at ~9 AM . Miles arrives the next day , at ~7 PM , about 36 hours after the email is first sent .

We also know when Waylon is given engine therapy in the opening cinematic that it’s mentioned that Billy made a lateral ascension , and that that’s a problem . It’s most likely this lateral ascension led directly into the Walrider breaking free under Billy’s control and initiating the riots . 

We don’t know how long Miles spends at Mt. Massive , but we know that Waylon sees the burning church not long after Eddie’s death , and very soon after hears an announcement about an “unknown assailant” in the underground lab , Miles . Let’s assume that after the ‘12 hours later’ time marker , the remaining events of the vocational block take up about 2 hours , accounting for Waylon slipping in and out of consciousness a few more times . It’s sunup on the 19th when Waylon escapes the vocational block / when Miles kills Billy and is possessed , we see that from both perspectives (the windows in the admin block and the loading bay in the sub lab) and the sun rises at 6:51 AM . back with it again at the 7:30s , Miles probably dies around 7:30 - 8 AM on the 19th . This allows for the time between Miles seeing the loading bay and the last events of the game after that . That means he spent 12 hours in Mt Massive . That means that he arrived 2 hours into Waylon’s unconscious period , and went through the asylum almost entirely during that time .

So with that , we can start turning back time . That means that it’s 7:30 PM 2 hours into Waylon being unconscious in the vocational block , so he was knocked out around 5:30 PM . This doesn’t line up very well with us seeing it appearing to be dark in earlier outside areas , but please understand that it’s nearly impossible to make this completely accurate . I think we can use the heavy fog as a partial excuse , and the strange greenish-yellow tint the sky has that I think is partially just a weird overlay Outlast always has , but partially might be a deeply cloudy and foggy daytime sky . It’s flimsy , but the sky definitely doesn’t look that dark when you get a look at it .

Waylon sends the email at 7:30 AM of the 17th , consequently is probably committed around 8 , and receives engine therapy at 9:30 . Billy also makes his lateral ascension at this time . Waylon escapes not long after Miles does , roughly 7:30 AM - 8 of the 19th . That means Waylon’s entire experience , from email to escape , is 48 hours , give or take (he leaves after Miles’s death so a bit more) . A lot spent unconscious , but still . So 14 of those hours are unconsciousness onwards . 2 hours are the time between the email and engine therapy. That gives us a whopping 32 more hours to kill . I don’t think that all of what Waylon goes through , from picking up his camcorder to being drugged in the vocational block , takes 32 hours . It’s really hard to gauge because we’re trying to compare video game time to real time , but Miles has some unconscious time as well and his entire experience is 12 hours . if Outlast 1 , counting however long Miles was out after Martin got him , is 12 hours , I don’t think 70% of Whistleblower is thirty-two .

There’s not a lot of time to use as reference anymore , this is the point where we’re just kinda forced to eyeball it .

Let’s review to make sure everything makes coherent sense .

We know that Miles arrived at 7:30PM the 18th because we know the Mount Massive Incident is on the 18th, and because of the sky. We know he died around 7:30 AM the 19th because of the sky. And because we see sunup as Waylon as well, and hear the unknown assailant message, we know these 12 hours took place while Waylon was unconscious + during his time getting out of the vocational block . We know the email was sent the 17th because it’s time stamped . And we know that being as time conservative as possible , with a 27 hour straight drive + time for basic necessities , Miles probably took 36 hours to arrive , putting Waylon’s email at 7:30 AM on the 17th . Canon tells us Waylon is put into engine therapy 2 hours later .

17th, 7:30 AM - Waylon sends the email 

17th, 9:30 AM - Waylon is put into engine therapy 

??????? - Time Gap - ???????

18th, 5:30 PM - Waylon is drugged in the vocational block 

18th, 7:30 PM - Miles arrives

19th, 5:30 AM - The 12 hour time jump 

19th, 7:30 AM - Waylon escapes the vocational block, Miles is possessed, Miles dies. Waylon escapes soon after, closer to 8

9:30 AM  10:30 AM - 1 11:30 AM - 2 12:30 PM - 3 1:30 PM - 4 2:30 PM - 5 3:30 PM - 6 4:30 PM - 7 5:30 PM - 8 6:30 PM - 9 7:30 PM - 10 8:30 PM - 11 9:30 PM - 12 10:30 PM - 13  11:30 PM - 14 12:30 AM (18th) - 15 1:30 AM - 16 2:30 AM - 17 3:30 AM - 18 4:30 AM - 19 5:30 AM - 20 6:30 AM - 21 7:30 AM - 22  8:30 AM - 23  9:30 AM - 24 10:30 AM - 25 11:30 AM - 26 12:30 PM - 27 1:30 PM - 28 2:30 PM - 29 3:30 PM - 30 4:30 PM - 31 5:30 PM - 32

We’re left with a major time gap, 32 hours. This starts with Waylon being put into engine therapy and ends with him passing out in the vocational block. Being generous, and considering that characters like Martin needed time to set up their shenanigans, I’ll say that the time from Waylon picking up his camcorder to the V.B. locker takes 6 hours. It seems reasonable, especially if he spends a lot of time hiding from characters like Frank. That means that the Walrider attacks began and riots started at this time too— 11:30 AM of the 18th. Maybe a little earlier and it just took a bit to reach the hospital, but we don’t have means to prove that, and the Walrider clearly works fast. That leaves us with 26 hours , almost a full day , left unchecked . 

Billy makes a lateral ascension during Waylon’s first engine therapy session , which is implied to be what leads to the Walrider’s actions , but we have no idea how long it takes for him to completely break through and for the Walrider to start slaughtering . It’s possible many hours were dedicated to trying to calm him back down , and inevitably , it failed . It’s also possible that they got him back under control but once he hit one lateral ascension he was able to do it again , this time with much more anger . This is the only thing that fits into the timeline because of Miles’s driving time— if the riots started right after we first see Waylon in energy therapy in the opening cinematic, there would not be enough time for Miles to arrive when he does .

The time between Waylon first being put into engine therapy and the game actually starting is 26 hours . If the patients are allowed 8 hours rest and a half-hour per meal, which is really being generous to how Mount Massive treats its patients, 9 ½ hours go to that. Waylon spends about 16 ½ hours doing a combination of being half-conscious in a cell, getting his brain poked at, and going through engine therapy .

All in All: 

Sept. 17th, 7:30 AM: Waylon sends the email 

[2 hrs]

Sept 17th, 9:30 AM: Waylon is subjected to engine therapy, Billy makes his first lateral ascension.

[26 hrs] 

Sept 18th, 11:30 AM: The riots begin, Waylon is in engine therapy during this time. He is released from his chair and gets his camcorder, starting his escape mission.

[6 hrs]

Sept 18th, 5:30 PM: Waylon is knocked unconscious in a locker in the vocational block, and remains unconscious for 12 hours. 

[2 hrs]

Sept 18th, 7:30 PM: Miles arrives at Mount Massive Asylum.

[10 hrs]

Sept 19th, 5:30 AM: Waylon wakes up for the first time and witnesses Eddie’s murders.

[2 hrs] 

Sept 19th, 7:30 AM: Waylon escapes the vocational block, Miles kills Billy and is possessed. Miles is killed, Waylon escapes the asylum.

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

[mcwriting]

Starstruck (9)

hello it’s me again. Second to last chapter :( but I’ve got bigger things in the works

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10

Fandom: Tom Holland

Ship: Tom x reader

Setting: LA, London

Word Count: 2230

Warnings: mild language

Rating: K+

                            __________________________________

Tom dodged cameras and wove through crowds as he made his way through London Heathrow Airport.

He finally was home in London, but only for about a week since he’d be coming back to LA for you.

The news had obviously broken that Tom had left South Korea, so now he was being bombarded with paparazzi who still wanted to know everything about you, especially your speech four days prior.

He continued to ignore them as he got to where Tuwaine was waiting to pick them up.

The car doors slammed shut as all four boys settled themselves in, Harrison up front and the Hollands in the back. Tuwaine locked the doors, then turned around.

“Seems like we’ve got a lot to talk about, boys.”

“You have noooo idea,” Tom muttered as the others nodded eagerly.

The drive back to their south London house was comfortable to Tom after everything that had happened. They mostly strayed from talking about you in the car, instead sharing funny stories from the long-lived press tour. 

Sam decided to head back to his parents’ house after they arrived at the other boys’, ringing up an uber. He just wanted to sleep in his own bed. Their parents and Paddy had come home from the premiere before Tom went to Korea.

Once the boys were showered off and settled in, they told Tuwaine everything from the pre-release press tour before the premiere to meeting you to everything since. 

“That’s mad, Tom. So when are you going back? And how do you plan on going unseen?” Tuwaine asked.

“Well we’re gonna get back to LA on Thursday to have time to adjust again and get everything settled. I’ve paid for a couple private planes to keep things off the radar as best as I can. All of you can come if you want.”

After further discussion, they decided for only Harrison and Harry to join Tom since the others had prior commitments. 

After a couple more hours of catching up and reflecting on the past weeks, everyone finally decided to retire to their beds and hopefully get some rest.

As Tom layed down, he thought about the plan to see you again. He was nervous and excited at the same time, and went to sleep thinking one thing.

I’m coming to get ya, y/n.

                             __________________________________

As always, news of Tom’s travel back home was all over the internet with clips and pictures of him dodging through the airport being shared, you of course being tagged in those pictures by fan accounts wanting attention.

“Ughhhh I’m so tired of people tagging me in this shit like I actually care! I’m not even remotely involved in these pictures!” you exclaimed to b/f/n, who was sprawled on your bean bag chair as you laid on your stomach across a rug. 

You showed her a fan edit of Tom someone tagged you in, which was just a video transitioning between pictures of him from his press tour.

“I know. It’s so dumb like, he’s even likely to see stuff if you just pester his friends, or in your case… whatever you guys are.”

“Give me a break. We’re nothing. We just met and yeah. That’s all there is to it.”

“I don’t buy it, but whatever. I need to use your charger.”

You pointed to the bed.

“It’s over on the other side if you want it.”

B/f/n sighed dramatically, then rolled her way off the bean bag to flop onto your bed, plugging the device in. After a few minutes of silent scrolling on your phones, she piped up.

“Yo. Why does your bed smell so good? New detergent or something?”

You blushed, realizing you never told her about that little detail.

“Uh, well. It’s cologne.”

She turned her head to look directly at you, eyebrows raised cheekily.

“And why do you have cologne on your bedsheets?”

You avoided looking directly at her for a second, cringing a little.

“Well… I may have kind of left out the part of the story where Tom gave me a whole bottle of his cologne and it smelled really good so I sprayed it all over my sheets… but like no biggie right?”

She sat up.

“Yes biggie! You know exactly what Tom Holland smells like and didn’t think to tell me?”

“I forgot about it until the other day when I found the bottle in a bag of my stuff. Didn’t seem important.”

“Okay, if it’s not important, then why did you douse your bed in his scent?”

“I told you, I think it smells good. That’s it.”

“You’re really going to sit there and try to convince me of that? Everyone knows that scent memory is a really big deal, not to mention that he literally gave it to you.”

You stared each other down for almost a minute before you cracked.

“Okay, fine. It helps me sleep, alright? It takes me back to the night he spent here, which honestly was one of the best nights of my life. It just felt so nice talking to him about vulnerable things, you know? At the time I thought I could trust him, and maybe a part of me wants to remember that side of him.”

B/f/n nodded as you finished.

“I get it. What he did sucks, but you can’t let that ruin the good memories you do have. Things will work themselves out. They always do. You just need to remember that you’re a boss bitch and no matter what happens, you’re gonna be alright.”

“Thanks. I really needed to hear that.”

“Anytime. Now let’s forget about him and figure out where we want to get our nails done next week.”

                             __________________________________

It was now Tuesday, and you and b/f/n sat in adjacent pedicure chairs, trying to lean back peacefully as yours vibrated violently in the name of a “massage.”

After you both struggled to not laugh while the nail techs exfoliated your feet, you were now relaxed and still as they began to actually polish your toenails.

You looked over to see b/f/n smiling at her phone.

“Who’s got you acting up?” you asked. She looked up in surprise.

“It’s no one. Catherine just sent me something funny on Instagram.”

“Oh, okay. Send it to me.”

In reality, she had been talking to Harrison and Tom about Friday, sending them pics of you in your dress the prior week and learning of their plans to get to LA on Thursday morning. 

To cover for herself, though, b/f/n scrolled through her dm’s with Catherine, looking for something she’d received but never sent to you.

                             __________________________________

Wednesday in London, Tom, Harrison, and Harry sat around the dining room recapping the plan for the rest of the week.

“Okay, so we’re gonna get there pretty early tomorrow morning and then I arranged for us to stay at an AirBnb under b/f/n’s name but obviously I’m paying for it. Since none of us are 25, I couldn’t get a regular rental car, but I talked to Audi and they said they’d loan me another car as long as we post some pictures with it.”

“Won’t that defeat the purpose of laying low if we’re plastering our faces with the car online? It won't be hard to distinguish London from pretty much anywhere else,” Harry claimed.

“They said as long as we get the pictures up before we leave town, we’re good. We’ll just have to put it in the calendar so I don’t forget.”

Harry took that as his cue to put it in the calendar right then.

“What about the actual event? I know you said you got in touch with them,” Harrison brought up.

“I’m glad you asked, mate. They were down for letting us make our appearance a surprise, so they’ll have staff sneak us in the back and wait until b/f/n gives us the go-ahead. They’re gonna introduce me and I’ll give a quick word and then… hopefully y/n will let me talk to her.”

The group got everything in order and loaded their bags into Tuwaine’s car once again for him to drive them to the private jet hangars.

After saying their goodbyes again and loading up onto the plane, the boys were in the air, headed west. They would be stopping in New York to change planes, and got comfortable for the almost 8 hour flight.

By the time they got to New York, the boys were exhausted going through customs. They were happy to find that so far no one had seemed to leak the fact that they had left London and were now in the states.

They boarded the next plane and prepared for the 6 hour flight, this time planning to get sleep as it was overnight and they’d be arriving in the morning.

The sun was beginning to rise over Los Angeles as the plane touched down.

“Tom, we’re here,” Harry said, shaking his brother awake as the plane taxied. 

Tom blinked his eyes a few times to adjust to the light, looking out the window. 

The boys deplaned on the tarmac and sat tiredly in the small airport’s lobby as they waited for someone to drop off the car. 

Tom noticed one woman at the desk looking over at him frequently. He was afraid she would end up putting him all over the internet, so he got up and came to the desk.

“Hi there.”

She looked at him, startled.

“Um, hello.”

“I couldn’t help but notice you looking over at us. Would you happen to be a fan?” Tom asked politely. She blushed.

“Yes, actually, I am.”

“Would you like a picture?” Tom offered. He knew he looked horrible from his long journey but needed to know she wouldn’t go around telling everyone about meeting him.

“That would be incredible! I was too afraid to ask.”

Tom called Harry over to take the picture on her phone, then took it from the younger brother. Tom noticed Harrison carrying a couple bags out the door to a car.

“That’s a good one! I only ask that you try to keep this to yourself? At least until tomorrow evening? I’m on a bit of a secret mission, and I don’t quite want the public to know I’m here, yet.” 

The girl’s eyes widened.

“Of course! I’d hate to ruin anything for you.”

“Awesome, thank you so much. And it was quite lovely meeting you, I look forward to seeing those pictures again one day.”

With that, Tom was out the door and on his way to the spot they had rented out for the trip.

                             __________________________________

B/f/n woke up Thursday to work out again and saw there was an Instagram notification on her lock screen. It was Harrison (or maybe Tom, who knew who she was actually talking to).

We made it to the AirBnb. Thanks again for putting it under your name.

She saw it had been sent about an hour prior, so she replied.

No worries. I haven’t seen anything online about you being in the US, so it seems like you’re good so far

We’ll try to keep a low profile. We’re mostly trying to adjust to the time again so Tom isn’t falling asleep at the formal tomorrow night

B/f/n snorted. She figured it really was Harrison that she was talking to.

At the boy’s rented house, they were sitting around drinking black coffee to stay awake for the day. Eventually, they ran outside and took pictures with the car, being careful to watch that no one was looking at them.

As the morning went on, they quickly came to an unfortunate realization.

There was no food in the house, and they couldn’t just go out and get it. Delivery wasn’t the best bet either considering someone would have to answer the door.

So with stomachs growling, they messaged b/f/n again, asking her to pick up some groceries to hold them over for the day.

You’re lucky I’m not with y/n right now. Just send me a list and I’ll bring it over asap

It took her over an hour to get to the store, find everything on the list, and take it to the house. Her stomach fluttered when she pulled into the driveway as she was finally meeting her idol for real.

The door swung open before she could knock.

“Oh thank God you’re finally here, I’m starving,” Harrison said , taking the bags from her hands. “Come in, come in. Don’t need anyone seeing us.”

She stepped in the door to find the other two sitting on the couch. They greeted her starstruck self. 

“Oh, wow. Hi. It’s nice to finally meet you in person,” she eventually spit out, looking at them in amazement.

She ended up spending almost an hour conversing with them, Tom paying her back for the groceries and them finalizing the details for the upcoming day.

She stood in the doorway preparing to leave.

“Well, I’ll see you all tomorrow. I don’t know what she’ll do, but good luck either way.”

“Thanks, b/f/n, that means a lot. And thanks for all the help you’ve been. Without you, I don’t know what I would have done.”

                            __________________________________

A/N: honestly I’m kinda sad that this is almost over. I started it over a year ago now and I’ve really enjoyed writing it. Hopefully I’ll put out the last chapter next week and then will begin scheduling “the marriage project.” Love you guys!

TAG LIST: @marvel-lously, @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @dreamyvans, @lisannehus, @honeymoonpeter, @shootingstarsaretearsofheaven, @chenellearose, @photoshopart15, @parkeret, @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch, @racewife2004, @joyleenl

To be added to my story or permanent tag list, pls send a message or ask

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

Do you have any headcanons for any asian characters in hetalia?

Thanks for the ask anon!

The Asians (as a group and individually) have my heart so you can expect a lot of headcanons for them. I’ve posted a list of China headcanons here (scroll down and you’ll find them eventually), but I’ll probably put new ones in this ask too. Anyway:

- All the Asians love to take food pictures! I know this is a “fashionable thing” to do all over the world nowadays, but I feel like the Asian countries are like the epitome of food pictures. Taiwan, HK, Japan, South Korea, and maybe Macau would do this the most. They’d probably run a joint social media account just for food pictures (as well as food selfies, since they’re all super photogenic). I also think they might compete with each other to take the best pictures, and have people vote on whose is the best?? 

Also just imagine China cooking the food for them and then all the young’uns crowding around the plate taking pictures for a long time, after 5 minutes they hear China yell “Hey! The food’s going to get cold if you don’t start EATING!” *mutters “Sheesh, they’re too phone addicted”*

- A lot of people headcanon Yao/China as the boomer of the Asians (and in general), and make him like an old man not knowing how to use a phone and everything. But… literally, real China has so much social media and internet stuff, like they’ve literally almost phased out using cash because everyone just pays for stuff using WeChat on their phones… like literally, this stuff is way ahead of America’s cash rn, so I think China would be able to absorb his people’s phone/internet prowess and not be so “boomer-y” like everyone thinks?? I have to admit that the boomer China situation would be pretty funny but I just don’t think it’s very realistic?

- Ok this part is just a rant about South Korea. WHy in the worLd does he need to be all perverted???? Like why is he so obsessed with people’s body parts/breasts???? Like what, why can you not make him a normal person who is a tech savvy enthusiastic photogenic Asian who is definitely a nerdy jock (if those exist) instead of some random groper??? Ok anyway, I’ve got no idea what’s up with canon SK but I think he’d be like the Denmark in the asians? Very excitable, friendly, and overall gives off cool vibes. Also I think he just pretends to be dumb sometimes to make people laugh, but can read the mood pretty well even if people don’t think he can. He’s also pretty smart and good with technology, and can strike up conversations with a lot of people really quickly (this also leads to him getting a lot of connections if it’s in a Human AU) Overall, I think modern day SK’s got his heart in the right place, he just might mess up a few times.

- Ancient Times: the Asians in history are kinda complicated, because a) HK, Taiwan, and Macau are pretty much irrelevant right now, b) I am clueless about Southeast Asian history so idk what Thailand and Vietnam are doing at that time, and c) China, Japan, and Korea weren’t exactly friends all the time (and they weren’t really friends from WWI to the Korean War). Also to complicate stuff, Korea had three kingdoms: Goguryeo, Baekje, and Silla; Silla apparently took over the other two later (with the help of the Chinese Tang dynasty) and became Unified Korea, and then the Korean War happened and it split again. So, idk what’s up with them (canon makes it more complicated because China took in Japan, I assume he would’ve taken Korea or the 3 kingdoms in as well because there’s a lot of shared history/trade/alliances between those three). There’s a lot of backstabbing and wars and stuff, some between China and Japan, some between China and Korea vs Japan, some between Korea and Japan, etc. If the countries were physically kids, I guess you could reason it out that they were just small bastards who were really rowdy and liked to fight, but I think that at least China would have been in his late teens/early 20s, and he took in Japan before most of the wars, so maybe that’s just Japan being a rebellious kid? Idk man East Asian history is complicated

- I think the young’uns are all fans of something (I think Japan and HK and maybe Taiwan are anime/manga fans, and SK likes his kpop idols) and they always get China to come along with them resignedly, to a convention or concert or whatever. But let’s be real, he hates on the others’ stuff but watches his own tv dramas just fine (although he hates the characters’ decisions a lot and rants a lot too)

- They get so competitive during sports! Especially at big things like the Olympics, or any international ____ competition (like swimming or something with lots of events). I think everybody would roast China for always failing soccer at FIFA (mens or womens) even if they themselves didn’t get in (usually Japan and Korea qualify, and they might even make it to like round of 8 or something). Other events, they’d just root for their own team and possibly make bets as to who’s going to win.

- I don’t know why China doesn’t have glasses in his design because literally so many people are nearsighted!!! (me included hhh) but idk I guess an explanation is he used to wear them and then was teased by his kids for being an old grandpa so he got contacts instead or something

- And because of genetics or something I think HK and Taiwan would also have nearsightedness but (I think in Taiwan at least) the trend is to get laser eye surgery, so I think both of them would’ve gotten it so they could keep looking cOoL (or something)

- All of them like TEA of some kind. Japan and China prefer to stick with the normal tea (brewed with tea leaves and stuff) but Taiwan loves bubble tea, and HK and Korea prefer iced tea more? But I think they’d all be able to switch between different types and not complain (except China, the old man)

- If China forgot he had a meeting scheduled and on that day, he invited all the others to his house, I think he’d begrudgingly put Japan in charge and leave, but I think Japan would let the others do whatever they want (he lowkey loves pranking China) and by the time China is back the house would either be wrecked or they’d went through all his stuff and now have a hoard of private things to ask him. China would throw them all out and then somehow find a way to get back at Japan

- I read a headcanon somewhere that they all think their own cooking is the best, and that would be very funny to write, but I think at dinners and stuff they’d all bring their favorite dish and just share, because nostalgia, sometimes they just feel like eating stuff that reminds them of their past or when they were at ____’s house (eg. Japan and Korea with Chinese food, Taiwan with Japanese food, etc.)

- Lots of family arguing and mutual pranks

- Lots and lots of low and high key roasts and lots of sarcasm (especially from the older ones). 

Taiwan: “How do you think this dress looks?” 

China: “Like you took fashion advice as bad as England’s cooking”

Japan: “I hate to say this, but China is 100% on point.”

Taiwan: D:

- Disapproval of clothing! China arguing at his kids that their clothes are too unconservative or show too much skin or something, and his kids arguing back that he dresses like he blindly picked out clothes without opening his eyes

OK yeah that’s it thanks for listening if you made it down here! I was originally intending to include Thailand and Macau and Vietnam but then realized I have next to nothing for them so… I’m sorry if you wanted some about them! Take my humblest apologies. Anyway, you probably noticed the Asians have my heart and definitely ask for more if you want! I’d never deny the chance to think about what dumb stuff they’d do lol

[isahorcrux]

why does read more not work ??

THERE WE GO, okay real read more.

if you’ve been following me for a while, you may or may not know that I’ve suffered from various eating disorders on-and-off my entire life (binge eating disorder in high school, a combination of anorexia and bulimia in college).  I think the best term for me now is in recovery.  I often compare having an eating disorder to having an addiction, because as I found in both phases of my eating disorders, there was always an addictive element (which makes sense as genetically there’s quite a bit of addiction issues within my family - perhaps this is how it manifested in me).  Anyway, the point is, I don’t think I’ll ever not be in recovery.  My mom will often joke, asking if I’m fixed.  No, I don’t think I ever will be.  Sure, the longer I’m in recovery, the better I am at identifying triggers, at developing coping mechanisms.  But eating and exercising will always be a much bigger part of my day to day brain power than the average person.

Anyway, enough backstory.  When a boyfriend unlocks level 5 of my tragic backstory, that’s usually when they find out that I had an eating disorder and my roommate/friend died by suicide.  Usually, that’s the only time we have a heart-to-heart; most of the time neither subject is mentioned again.  Not with Andrew.  He understands that eating is stressful for me, and always does everything in his power to make it less so.  He also pushes me out of my comfort zones.  Two years ago, I never thought I’d be able to tell someone to “surprise me” when it came to picking what I’m eating for lunch or dinner.  He knows when I reference Sara’s passing that I need to use dark humor or otherwise I’ll spend the evening in a ball sobbing.  He makes sure I eat.  He knows when I start to slip and pulls me back up with a gentle guiding hand.

Yesterday, he did the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.  On instagram, because I am a female who follows her favorite fitness studios, influencers, and NEDA, my discover page is often full of calorie counting, food substitutions, before and after pictures - to put it short, everything that makes up diet culture.  A culture we’ve deluded ourselves into thinking isn’t an eating disorder because it’s socially acceptable.  I was showing him something about Taylor Swift on the discover page, when he made a comment about why there were so many diet culture related images.  I didn’t know what to say to that.  

At the age of 3, I started to think my thighs are fat (which is ridiculous, because until the age of 7, I was drastically underweight).  At 9, I started my first diet.  At the age of 12, I thought I had to loose 20 pounds in order to wear skinny jeans.  At the age of 15, I didn’t eat for 2 weeks during Christmas break.  At 18, I started going to the gym for 2 hours a day and thought that wasn’t enough.  The is the world many young woman (and young men and young gender-non conforming individuals) experience their entire lives.  That they’re not thin enough, that they’re not toned enough, that they eat too much, that they’re not exercising enough.  I didn’t know what to say to Andrew’s comment, because I was so immune to it.  Diet culture is and was my permanent subconscious. 

Andrew spent the next 20 minutes scrolling through my discover page, hiding every single image that promoted diet culture.  Anything that resembled promoting an eating disorder was reported.  He hid accounts that showed up several times promoting low calorie diets and extensively long exercise programs.  It’s so small; so silly - it only took 20 minutes.  But this is the most anyone (besides the people I literally pay i.e. the therapists, the nutritionists, the outpatient facilities) has helped me through recovery.

Anyway, in a society that seems more and more like the Hunger Games every day, it’s nice to still have moments where your heart is three sizes bigger.  Where you feel so loved and so cared for that you can actually sleep through the night.