#i love blatant flirting without being together for no reason!!!!! it is so fun!!!!

[mediumgayitalian]

prev

———

By all accounts, Will knows what he’s doing.

He still drives like a godsdamn maniac.

“Do you want us to die?” Nico hollers, cheeks aching from the force of his grin, belly flipping at the peal of Will’s laughter.

The bike is exhilarating, as Will weaves it around cars at unbelievable speeds, working with the bike like it’s a part of him, like it’s not a separate thing he has to move. He steers it with a natural ease Nico’s only really seen in some of the best pegasus riders in camp — he knows the machine intimately enough to anticipate how it moves, how it reacts. It really is an extension of his body.

He left any panic about gripping onto Will somewhere in Long Island — to let go would be suicide. He has to hold on to stay onto the bike, to know to lean when Will leans, to tense when he tenses. Besides that, he’s having fun. He’s not the one driving, so he’s free to rest his helmet on Will’s back and watch as the world whips by — dizzying, really, as the speed of the bike making the green-budding trees melt into the bright blue skies, mix with the tar black asphalt, glow under the sparkling sun. The whole world looks like sidewalk chalk after it rains, a swirling mass of colour and streaks as artistic or more than what it was before it was washed away. The only indication that they’re actually going anywhere rather than standing straight in the middle of a kaleidoscope is the spots of roadside green that pop up every now and again, or a heavy lean to the side and Will switches lanes.

As they pull out of New York, Will starts to slow down. The dizzying mass of colours calms until everything’s at a slow spin, as Will mellows out to a speed that can be registered on a mortal odometer. With less wind whipping all over, Nico can actually hear him.

“Better than a flying chariot?”

Nico grins. “Definitely.”

“Another great thing about this is that it has a CD player. Two-nothing for the sad hunk of wood.”

By great thing Will of course means the same four songs I’ve been obsessed with for a month playing over and over and over until you are ready to launch yourself off the bike and join the dead raccoon at the side of the road, but that still doesn’t manage to ruin it. Something about driving top speeds in the early spring air makes it hard to be annoyed about annoying.

(Or maybe it’s the way Nico can feel Will’s muscles shift every time he moves, or how he winks every time he catches Nico’s eye in the mirrors, or the lowkey kind of sinful the way he straddles the seat. But Nico is quite happy sharing a name with a river in Egypt, so he ignores these fun facts and continues to delude himself, an art in which he is become quite wondrously skilled.)

Somewhere between Jersey and Delaware, the traffic picks up again, so Will shouts for him to hold on and cranks up the speed. Nico clenches tightly around his waist, squeezing his eyes shut, this time, and listens to the roar of air as they shove through it fast enough to rival sound. When they’re drifting, again, Nico can feel an incline, and looks up just in time to watch Will exit off the highway.

“Are we here already?” he shouts, incredulous. He knows his ADHD makes him bad with time, but jeez — it can’t have been more than an hour, an hour and a half.

“Not yet,” Will says, barely having to raise his voice as they come to a stop, heel of his boot clicking on the pavement. He checks both ways and then, once nothing comes around the bend, pushes off and guides them down a winding back road, tipping around curves and speeding down hills. Nico’s stomach bottoms out every drop, and he can’t clamp down the giggle that pushes out his throat, as ridiculous as it is. Luckily, Will’s giggling, too.

In a few minutes, they pull up to an old, rusted gas station, with signs so old they’re hand-painted. Will kills the engine and flicks out the kickstand, pulling off his helmet and shaking out his hair. It’s such a tangled mess that Nico can’t help but reach out and tug on a lopsided curl.

“I didn’t think this thing needed gas.”

“It doesn’t!” He pats a dark piece of glass in between the handlebars. “It’s solar-powered. But I figured you could use a minute to stretch your legs, and frankly, if I don’t eat something soon I genuinely might cook you.”

“You forgot to eat today, didn’t you.”

“…No.”

As soon as he speaks, his eyes start to water. His throat swells. He holds his breath for a noble four seconds, and then starts wheezing.

Nico sighs heavily. “Dumbass.”

Hauling him upright by the collar, Nico drags him towards the little corner store. This, at least, is familiar. Will gets caught up in his work easily, and forgets to do things like eat or move or, on one particularly amusing occasion, breathe. (Just tipped right over, one day, onto the floor, mid-poultice. There is a chip on the side of the stone mortar to this day. Nico, Will’s other friends, and his siblings take shifts bringing it up to dunk on him properly. Last he checked, Lou Ellen commissioned Jake Mason to make a plaque to hang on the infirmary wall, memorializing the incident forever.)

“C’mon, stupid. Let’s get you a sandwich. And Benadryl.”

“I’m honestly fine,” Will wheezes, cheeks swelling slightly.

“Stop talking,” Nico orders. “You’re making it worse.”

Wisely, Will clamps up. That, or his throat is starting to close. Either is likely.

His stubborn determination to continue lying despite being literally allergic to it would be impressive, if it wasn’t so irritating.

A little bell rings by the door when Nico pushes it open, making the person sitting behind the counter look up.

“Ah,” they say sagely, folding up their newspaper. “Demigods.”

Immediately, Nico’s on alert. Before he can draw his sword, though, Will lifts a hive-spotted hand in a wave.

“Hey, Berchio,” he croaks.

The person at the counter — Berchio — smiles ruefully.

“Benadryl?”

Nico nods hesitantly, still a little wary at the stranger, but Will is starting to keen over, now, and Nico didn’t think to bring an Epi-Pen (since the allergy is totally avoidable, William, you are your own worst enemy), so he’s running out of options. “Please.”

Chuckling to themself, Berchio ruffles around a shelf by the checkout counter, locating the familiar bottle after a minute — Will gets himself into these situations a lot, he has a serious twizzler problem and should consider getting his own stash instead of lifting it from the Hermes cabin and then lying about where it went — and rolling towards them. The spokes of their wheelchair have little skull charms on them that make a pleasant tinkling noise as they spin, making Nico trust them instantly. He should get Chiron wheel beads. That’s sick as hell.

“Here, kid. Drink water, too, you’re going to dry yourself out.”

Will garbles out a thank you, choking down the medicine. As all meds do with Apollo’s children, lucky bastards that they are, it works quickly, and in minutes he’s breathing right again.

“Gods, I love oxygen.”

“You are a human disaster,” Nico informs him. “Like, hugely.”

Will takes a sip of his water, pondering that. “Is that more embarrassing for you, or for me?”

“Why the hell would it be embarrassing for me?”

“Well, since you like me so much.” Nico chokes. “I might be a disaster, but at least I don’t have a crush on one.”

“All this wheezing,” Berchio sighs. “This must be Nico?”

“The one and only,” Will says cheerfully. He reaches out and touches a warm hand to Nico’s throat, immediately clearing his airways. Now no longer struggling for breath, Nico darts out and punches him, hard, on the arm.

“Ow! Meanie!”

“You are such a derp-faced dweeb,” Nico hisses, fully aware he’s red in the face. “Why are you — why are you this way.”

“I’m gonna tell Chiron you were bullying me!”

“Tell him! I’ll tell him you were the one to sprinkle instant mashed potatoes all over the grass before it rained, not Cecil!”

Will snaps his mouth shut. “I told you that in confidence.”

Nico smiles smugly. “Well, that’s on you. My loyalties are about as secure as my parent’s relationship.”

“If you two are finished flirting,” interrupts an amused voice, making both of them jump. Berchio watches them with their arms crossed, eyebrow raised in a similar chiding way to Chiron last time he caught Nico attempting to sneak an entire tray of brownies from the kitchen (mark his words — as soon as he can shadow travel again, no other camper will be seeing a brownie as long as they shall live). They shake their head, tutting exaggeratedly. “My, my, Will, I’m beginning to understand why you mentioned him every time you opened your mouth. I figured you liked him, but this is ridiculous.”

For once, Will is the one to flush crimson. He stutters something entirely incomprehensible, gesturing vaguely towards Berchio, and then frantically towards Nico, and finally squawks something about trust and the breaching of it. He goes red to the very roots of his hair, clamping his own mouth shut mid-sentence and scowling something awful.

Suddenly, Nico gets it. This is why no one ever leaves him alone. Oh, he is loathe to give the assholes he’s friends with credit, but…

When does he ever get to see Will — confident, easy Will — go scarlet?

“So you like me,” he says, shit eating grin stretching across his face. “Oh ho ho ho.”

“Oh, shut up,” Will snaps, without any heat. “Last time we played volleyball you got a concussion ‘cause you couldn’t stop staring at my chest and took a ball to the face.”

“That — it was — that hit was malicious,” he sputters. “And how is it my fault you’re always ditching your shirt at the first available opportunity like some kind of whore? I couldn’t not look!”

“Avert your eyes, then, scoundrel!”

“I — don’t call me a scoundrel! You’re a scoundrel!”

“You’re both late, is what you are,” Berchio interrupts again. “Will, I assume you’re running an errand?”

Still a little flushed, Will nods. “Yes. Thanks, Berchio. We’re picking up parts in Roanoke, I just stopped for some food.”

“He forgot to eat this morning,” Nico pipes up. He figures that Berchio seems comfortable enough with Will that they can act as a disappointed authority figure, which will make Mr. Daddy Issues Solace crumple like a castle built on a pillar of sand — he needs the humbling. (Also, Nico will get him on a healthier track or die trying. It’s not fair that he gets to be a big hypocrite about good diet and eating and sleeping habits and then turn around and act a fool. Someone needs to watch out for the idiot, or he’s going to get himself killed, and then Nico is going to have to spend the rest of his life in the Underworld, yelling at him.)

“William.”

Nico’s theory is proven correct. Berchio stares at Will with the perfect mix of disappointment and concern, immediately triggering the scramble-to-please expression on Will’s face. He practically stumbles over himself trying to follow after him and get fed.

“Are you happy with a sandwich, Nico? I know Will’ll eat anything that even remotely looks like food, but most of us have standards,” they tease.

Nico snorts at Will’s offended pout. “Yeah, a sandwich is more than fine. Thanks, Berchio.”

After handing them both a sandwich they pull from one of the many fridges in the little convenience store, they guide them outside, parking their wheelchair next to the curb they sit on and joining them in a little picnic.

“So how do you know each other?” Nico asks, gesturing between the two of them.

Will answers first, because Berchio, who is a polite person with manners, takes the time to swallow their food.

“I stop here all the time,” he says, garbled, making both Nico and Berchio wince. Nico takes the initiative to kick him.

“Stop being disgusting and explain yourself without showing off the contents of your mouth,” Nico threatens, “or I’m going to stab you again.”

Will swallows, sticks out his tongue, and continues.

“First time I used the bike, I got it into my head that I should go visit my mom. Would’ve been fine, except I was thirteen and hadn’t been outside of camp in six years and got chased by a pack of empousai the second I left the city, basically.”

“I was collecting herbs and sensed him coming,” Berchio explains. “He crossed the borders I have set up; I hid him here. Now he stops by whenever he’s travelling to chat.” Berchio smiles warmly. “I appreciate the company.”

Will grins back. “Me too! Plus, I very much appreciate the herb exchange. Speaking of which, I have your goldenrod.”

He digs into his jeans pocket, pulling out a bundle. He hands it over to Berchio, who accepts it gratefully, handing over their own bundle to Will.

“And your witch hazel.”

“Berchio’s an Ipotane,” Will explains, catching sight of Nico’s furrowed brow. “They’ve been doing this healing stuff for centuries. They’re real good with salves.”

Nico shakes his head fondly. “Even when you’re being cool, you’re a nerd.” He gestures to the bike. “Taking your secret motorcycle to visit your secret mentor to learn more about healing. Gods, it’s like Apollo made you in a lab.”

“You take that back! I contain multitudes!”

“And now you’re quoting famous poems, dear gods, try to prove my point better, why don’t you —”

“Blah blah blah!”

Nico grins at him, rolling his eyes, and Will is just as playfully dramatic with his bit lip and hidden smile and the hair he tucks behind his ear like he does when he wants to touch somebody but isn’t sure if it’s invited. Nico answers the question for him, reaching out and flicking his knuckles as an excuse to touch his hands. Will takes it, beaming.

“Thank you for the food, Berchio,” Will says when they finish, leaning down to hug them. “We gotta get going, but I’ll be back in a couple weeks. I had a dream about an outbreak, so no doubt the infirmary will need restocked soon.”

“Bring your boyfriend next time,” Berchio suggests, grinning when Nico goes red at the term. “Watching the two of you was not unlike one of Sterne’s famous productions.”

“I take offence to that,” Will says haughtily.

“Good. You needed humbling.”

“Nobody appreciates me around here!”

Nico bites back the I do that threatens to escape his throat. Gods, he’s so embarrassing. Whoever taught him how to speak should have to pay for their crimes.

They head back to the bike, waving goodbye to the Ipotane and speeding off. The drive the rest of the way down south is much calmer, bellies full and energy somewhat spent, and it helps that there’s no traffic. Will cruises, keeping time with the sun that’s inching across the sky, ignoring Nico’s suggestion to attempt to race his dad. They arrive in Roanoke in good time, following Nyssa’s scrawled directions to the parts shop.

The shop is old, visibly, paint peeling and smelling strongly of car grease. As Nysa predicted, the person they speak to — a mechanic, by the look of her jumpsuit — doesn’t ask so much as a single question at the two teenagers rolling up to her doorstep, heading to the greasy shelves of car parts and grabbing what they need with a shrug.

“Well,” says Will slowly as she piles them on the counter, “that’s…more than I anticipated.”

Nico looks at the stack of twisted metal. He looks at the bike. Finally, he looks at his dumbass friend.

“Solace.”

Will scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah?”

“Solace, tell me you have space to put this stuff.”

“Well, we can try the seat compartment?”

Nico buries his head in his hands. “Solace.”

“What!”

“You know what, lughead! We cannot do the one thing we came here to do! Gods!”

“I usually go on supply runs for the infirmary, okay!” Will cries. “That stuff is way less bulky! I forgot to compensate!”

Nico groans. At this point, they’re going to have to bus back, or something equally as stupid. And what are they gonna do with the bike? Gods, if Nico was here by himself and also maybe possibly with Reyna, who could share her strength, he’d just —

He stills.

“Oh, no,” Will says, pointing a stern finger, “oh, no, di Angelo, I know that look, you have been expressly banned —”

“Relax,” Nico grumbles. “Don’t you trust me?”

“With everything,” Will says automatically, then flushes for the second time that day. “But that is not the point —”

Deciding he will return to that later — and he most certainly will — Nico darts forward. Before Will can stop him, he puts both hands on the pile of parts, lunges towards the nearest shadow, and shoved them in, withdrawing as quickly as he can manage.

“Nico!”

He waits.

“Oh, you fuckin’ — you goddamn son of a mother!”

He checks his hands — still solid.

“I am going to smash you flat an’ feed you through a goddamn juicer! You fuckin’ heart-stopper!”

He grins. “I told you I could do some Underworld magic.”

“Underworld deez fuckin’ nuts!” Will stomps forward, grabbing Nico’s hands to do his own inspection. “What part of doctor’s orders are you missin’, huh? You think I wanna watch you fade again? You think I wanna —” His voice cracks, hands tightening around Nico’s wrists. Nico softens immediately, smug look melting into something gentler.

“Will.”

“You coulda died, Nico, you coulda faded to — to nothin’.”

“Will.” He flips his hands so his palms meet Will’s, and squeezes, smiling gently. “Feel my vitals, dork. Am I fading?”

Will exhales. “No.”

“Am I close?”

“…No.”

He squeezes again. “I’m fine, Will.”

“You scared me.” The anger in his voice has faded into something soft — something afraid. Suddenly the hands on his wrists feel more clingy than anything, and a twinge of guilt goes off in Nico’s stomach.

“I’m sorry.” He squeezes Will’s hands one last time, and when that doesn’t do much, lets go to wrap around his cheeks, instead, forcing him to meet his eyes. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I don’t mean to restrict you,” Will says softly. “It’s just — I worry, is all.”

Nico taps their foreheads together, smile pulling at his face. This, he can — this he can deal with. This version of Will, soft and nervous and caring, makes it a lot easier to slide his fingers into the mess of Will’s curls, to run his thumbs over his cheekbones and feel him shiver.

“Would that have anything to do with the alleged crush you have on me?”

Will grins. “It might.” One of his hands comes up to rest on top of Nico’s, brushing over his knuckles. “All your moonin’ after me had me looking twice, I guess.”

“You’re such a dick,” Nico scoffs, and yanks him down to meet him in the middle, laughing, swallowing his smile and relishing in the warm press of their bodies. It’s — gods, it’s everything, it’s a thousand times better than he imagined, and at the same time everything he expected. Will smells like wind and sunshine and his lavender shampoo, and his hands are roughened from all the antiseptic he has to use, and his lips are surprisingly chapped, but the press of his cheeks is soft, and the feel of him is overwhelming. It feels, as cliche as it is, like the final burst of a firework after watching the smokey trail of the rocket with bated breath, watching it crest the night sky before exploding, finally, amongst the stars, it’s like —

A cleared throat startled them apart.

“Anytime y’all feel like paying for those parts, it would be great.”

Will grins sheepishly. “Sorry,” he says, pulling out the money Chiron gave him. His grin turns sly, and Nico’s knees turn to jelly. “My boyfriend’s just super distracting.”

[bougiebutchbitch]

Congratulations, you made me start reading White Knight! I'm not a fan so far, but I believe you said it gets better?

lmao, I am shaking hands with you and pretty much every other Batjokes fan!

It does get better. By a lot. I would encourage you to keep going!

The whys & wherefores are below the cut - but I have to give the obligatory disclaimer that this is all personal opinion. I know this is a bit of a contentious comic in the fandom, for reasons I fully understand! I'm not looking to get into a debate - just to ramble a little and share my love for this series with folks who, hopefully, will appreciate that x

The most egregious issue I had with White Knight was that Jack seemed to be an entirely different character from Joker. So... why should I even care about him?

Like. He started wearing a suit? And working out to get the Stereotypical Superhero Bod rather than rocking that classic scrawny Joker look? And he became a freaking politician? Bullshit.

Add to that the shoddy mental health depictions (that's... really not how DID works, DC) and the blatant homophobia of "We will literally say ON THE PAGE that Joker is in love with Batman, but only when he's evil - when he's good, he's in love with Harley and hates Batman".... Yeah, the initial comic has issues, to say the least.

BUT. I do think that in the later chapters, after Jack's 'death' - so, in the Beyond the White Knight era! - Jack's characterisation gets wayyyy more believable. He reads like a good incarnation of Joker! He's annoying - purposefully, irrepressably so! He's a dork! He's hyper-intelligent but also just plain ol' hyper! He does his own sound effects! He goofs about because he thinks he's hilarious (and Bruce kinda indulges him and it's very cute)! He's A MASSIVE Batman fanboy, and hooooo boy does it show!

There's a gigantic Queer Undertone to his relationship with Batman - even more so than is the norm, for Batjokes. One need only look at the little heart emoticon when he talked to Bruce in the Valentine's Day issue. Or the whole 'Harley gets to call you Bats but I don't? :pout:' part. Or the 'those two bicker like an old married couple' bit, or the part where Jack asks Batman if he can ride on the back of his motorcycle ("You won't even feel my arms around you ;)" - holographic flirting at its finest!), or even Bruce's relationship with Harley!

I'm serious. You do NOT need to be wearing the Queer Viewing Goggles in order to interpret Jack wholeheartedly supporting Bruce and Harley getting together and being happy together, with or without his involvement, in a very OT3-sorta-fashion.

Buuuuuut if you're after explicit statements that Jack is still in love with Batman as Jack, rather than Joker, you won't find them in this comic. I would argue that there's enough implicit stuff there to see Jack as 100% bisexual, in love with Bruce and Harley, but, as usual.... that reading remains implicit. Instead, there is enough ambiguity for Comic Dudebros to argue that The Magic Brain Pills 'cured' Joker both of his mental illness and his love for Batman. Which... sigh. :/

In other news, I genuinely like the depiction of Bruce in this comic! So driven, so stoic... But he's also learning slowly how to be vulnerable with the people who love him, how to accept and live with his panic disorder, and how to impart affection to his sons! He's learning that he's allowed family, happiness, and peace! Those are arcs I will never tire of.

Harley is also a delight - a take-no-shit, smart yet fun interpretation of the character. She doesn't really read like the Harley I know and love, but regardless, I'm invested in her and her story!

So, yeah. Awesome art, decent storyline (not exceptional, but far from the worst out there!), fascinating Elseworlds look at the entire Batfam, and strong, strong implications of an m/m/f OT3... There's a lot not to love. But there's a lot to love, too!

I hope you enjoy!

[ohheyitsokay]

trials

this takes place in my ‘poly frontier’ universe

pairing: Will “Ironhead” Miller, Santiago “Pope” Garcia, Francisco “Catfish Morales, Ben “Benny” Miller and a female reader

wordcount: 2.1k

warnings: all fics in this series are 18+, poly relationship, domestic, romantic, and sexual intimacy. strong language, angst with a happy ending

summary: this one is a Santi story - he tries to bring another girl into the relationship, and learns instead how much he loves you

it wont be everyone's cup of tea but I felt like it was an important part of the story

note: don’t hate Santi! I think this is a pretty normal, and the best sunsets come after rain

>>

Santi was the first to branch out. He didn’t mean to – hated himself for it a little, but he did.

This – whatever this is, it’s a ticking time bomb, he told Will. One of has to do something before it breaks all of our hearts.

It was a lie.

They both knew it. But he had the money and the looks and the confidence and he was just hurt enough by the sight of you asleep in Ben’s lap one afternoon that he just… let it get to him.

Brooded and boiled until he was overcome with false righteousness and pure selfishness.

He didn’t look you in the eyes when he told you he was going to try to get another girl. It wasn’t that he was leaving what you all had, just that he deserved a chance at whatever he called balance. His gaze in the other men’s eyes was too bold – the look of a desperate man, terrified of being hurt so causing it on his own terms.

You nodded numbly, shocked in spite of yourself, scolding and scathing voices in your mind telling you not to be selfish. Not to be greedy.

He deserves more than sharing.

Tucking yourself into Frankie’s arms, you tried not to glare or cry and only failed at the latter. Because it’s not the dating another girl that hurt, really it’s not. Polyamory is hard, and it was always an open option. What hurts is his blatant choice to ignore the relationship his has with you, specifically, that he’s ignoring everything you and him have worked for, built with love and time and care.

Rubbing gentle hands over your skin, Will and Frankie and Ben shared looks as Santi stalks away.

Frankie corners him in the garage the next morning. You had slept between him and Will the night before, but they had all felt you toss and turn, all spent a fair amount of time staring at the ceiling themselves. His dark eyes are an insecure that shoots into Frankie’s core – it’s a look he knows, has spent months overcoming. He swallows hard, his words dying in his throat, and he simply shakes his head.

It almost breaks Santi in two, the first moment one of his loves betrays the damage he’s done, but he tells himself there’s no going back.

“Better now than later, when our parents hate her or –”

Frankie’s look stops him and he flinches away.

Will is at the bar he chooses without an invite, knowing where he’d be without having to even ask and they both try not to think of you at home with Ben, probably dripping flames. Santi wonders if it hurts more to watch him flirt, or to do it, but neither of them say a word to each other. In spite of it all, the respect his judgement, respect his choice, and that hurts too.

It feels strange to have others looking him up and down and to look back, smile with lust void of love and soak in the attention.

Before he succumbs to it, Santi wishes Will would come over, slide his hand around his neck and… stop respecting him so much. It would pull him back, but since he doesn’t, the thought dies under the burn of cheap alcohol.

-

She’s lovely, really, graceful like a cat.

Santi has kept her from you all for a few weeks now, keeping his dignity with distance. But now she’s here, in your home, and you should be jealous but instead you just smile sadly at her, and slip off to the kitchen.

He likes… coffee, dark roast, with just a clump of raw sugar. You’re stirring it when you realize they followed you, hovering at the door. The ache of it is less than it was before and they’re happy together, so for his sake, you sit down across from her.

She’s kind, friendly. Knows the gist of the situation, tells you she’ll go at your pace.

And it crashes into you, how he’s pinned you at a time when know one else is home, offering her up to you like a plea, a child who used the superglue to make a gift, never mind the fact that his hands are both stuck to it and burning.

It feels reasonable to have another woman around, to make the numbers less absurd, to – to help you. Her smile is a little shy and she takes you hand and she looks at Santi with such adoration that a knot loosens in your chest involuntarily.

She doesn’t joke about it, any of it, and you almost wish she would. It would be so much easier to hate her if she was shallow, or stupid, or something but she’s not, and when she smiles you almost think you could be friends. You wonder if you could make it work, like they do for you.

Ben and Will come home early, stepping in like the angels they are, planting themselves solid at your side like trees with roots deeper than they are tall. When Frankie comes home, he takes the spot of the two of them as their eyes draw Santi into another room.

“What the fuck, Garcia,” Benny is as hurt as you are by it all, maybe more.

“Shut up Miller.” He’s glaring, filled with venomous satisfaction at how well the two of you have been talking.

“Cant you see it’s for the better?”

There’s silence – neither of them agree, too confused by him to respond.

“Don’t you ever wonder,” Santi tries again, knowing they’re listening because they love him too.

“No.” They spoke in unison, which makes Will roll his eyes. Neither of them hesitate, and something in Santi cracks.

-

You poke holes in the bottom of a styrofoam container with a plastic fork. She’s long gone now, but the date still lingers as you poke at your leftovers and try to unwind each moment of the date like strings of spaghetti.

On the surface it had gone well, you had thought you had fun until you felt a burn of tears under your eyelids.

Closing them you sigh, breathing like you practiced, gentle tides of love and logic washing over a feelings you tell yourself are selfish.

When you open your eyes, your Santi is standing behind her chair, and you almost cant breathe.

He went away for two weeks to help with a mission, and he’s here, one side of his mouth higher than the other. You want to kiss it, but you smile instead, and say, “You missed her by a couple minutes, sorry,” and actually mean it.

“I caught her in the parking lot,” he sits slowly, carefully, and when he reaches for your hands it’s almost tentative. It makes you blink again, how his eyebrows are bending. For the first time in what feels like forever, you don’t understand what it means, cant predict at all what he says next.

“I broke it off,” his eyes are in yours.

“I don’t understand,” you hear yourself say.

Santi searches for the words, like he had them but cant make them come out of his mouth.

“She’s not you,” he says. “I want you.”

You realize with a start that his hand is trembling, and he says your name in a way you’ve never heard before – like he’s terrified. That’s how badly he wants this, wants.. you. There’s no question in your mind, your eyes answer him.

It’s messy, not like a movie, the way he tugs you up and up and into his arms, the shudder of his broad shoulders and he buries himself into you as much as he can.

Like a hazy, blurry dream, your arms find their way around him, holding him like he’s fragile, another first.

He doesn’t say You’re enough for me, or You deserve the world, or anything dramatic.

Instead he says, “Can I buy you dinner?” And, “I’m sorry,” and “It’s been too long.”

And he says “I love you.”

-

He already asked the others, calling them each on his drive to you. Asked like he was young, if it was okay. Santi knew none of them had fallen in love with her, because even he hadn’t. But he had to ask for their permission as much as yours, to try to win you back.

They were more guarded than you, wary of his passion.

It takes time, and work.

He stays up later than he should talking with Benny about everything and nothing, hands nervously putting together snacks. When the younger man holds you, Santi teaches himself to join, to be held and hold you both. It feels good, which feels like guilt.

He works on that, too.

Frankie and him never talk about it. For weeks he thought his oldest friend had understood, more of less forgiven him without a word. One day they’re out for lunch, and his eyes flicker at the waitress, tucking her hair behind her ear. When he returns his gaze to the man across him, his blood runs cold. It’s been years since he’s seen furious determination brewing in Frankie’s dark, caring eyes, but it’s there now and he hates it. It takes discipline, to watch how he’s perceived as closely as he watched his intentions, but he does it.

It was easier than winning Will back.

“How long has your logic been shit?” Has your heart been in the wrong place this whole damn time?

“I just got on the wrong path, Ironhead.”

“Like hell you did,” his eyes were ice. “You let that happen.”

It would’ve been easier if he punched him. This wasn’t a kiss and make up moment either. The work ended up being long talks while you forced them to drive to pick you up when your car broke down the town over. Forcing words out being so honest it hurt, until has heart and throat felt raw. Making Will understand it was out of his own fears. Showing him how he was fixing it.

And weeks of letting with watch him again, eyes not missing a single touch or flinch or moment between you all. Actions to reinforce his words.

It hurt, but infinitely less than feeling distant from you all to begin with.

-

Will and your Catfish bring it up with you, one sunday afternoon as you tuck yourself between them and let their hands trace your skin.

“How are you doing?”

“I don’t know, Will. Better, I think. I missed him.”

Frankie places a row of warm kisses down the side of your neck.

“He missed you too. It’s Pope, he’s... he’s scared, love.”

“I don’t know if I believe that, yet.”

Ironhead grumbles at your confession, his big fingers squeezing the meat of your thigh.

“You gave him another chance, but you’re holding back. What does your gut say?”

“Unreliable - I’m in love with him.”

His head pops up and he kisses you before half-smiling. Frankie’s hand finds one of his, and they share a look.

“Can we tell you, querida? What we’ve seen.”

“Some objective evidence,” Will kisses you again.

“He loves us.” Another kiss. 

“You.”

-

It’s quiet as Santi flips through his latest files. The evening air is cool, and he should be getting ready for bed but you’re not home yet, and they’re all milling about waiting. You texted them how tired you were, what an awful evening you had.

“It should just be another couple of minutes,” Will says, and Frankie checks his watch. Ben wanders to the kitchen and they can hear him mixing hot chocolate.

When you walk through the front door, they fold you in their arms. Santi holds back, doubt still nagging at his mind. You let him back in, let him take you don't dates, but you didn’t fit together any more. He was running out of ways to communicate with you.

But you slump over, gently pushing aside his files and placing his laptop away before replacing it with yourself. Molding into him you sigh, and almost instantly fall asleep.

You’re small and vulnerable in his arms and the weight on his legs feels like trust.

The air in the room shifts, lighter, more breathable than it’s been in months. Adoring, proud eyes watch, and he wants to cry.

For the first time maybe ever, he’s sure that everything is going to be okay.

-

The bar was mercifully quite that evening, and if made it easy for you to find your love. A small, familiar feeling tugged in your gut as you made your way over to him, eyes on the waitress who was leaning over him with unwholesome intentions.

Then the feeling settled, and was replace with a warmer feeling. She was putting down a tray that had your order on it, and Santi was thanking her, distracted checking your message on his phone.

“Hey, handsome,” you said, the warm feeling spreading throughout your chest. “Can we actually get out of here?”

His brown eyes were big, dark lashes catching the low lights as he stared at you. Somewhere in his mind, he thought too protest because your drink just got there, but the words stuck on his tongue. 

“Yeah... yeah of course, baby,” He signaled for the check before standing to draw you in his arms. Saying no to you had never really been an option. 

The two of you barely made it to his truck before your hands were all over each other. You liked the feel of him, pinning you against the metal frame, the desperate way he kissed you.

Pope was saying something about how you looked so fucking sexy, needing him so badly you couldn’t wait. You couldn’t concentrate on them. 

“Pope,” you said against his skin, sliding your hands under his shirt. In response, he only made a soft groaning noise and increases his urgency.

"Santi," you tried again, before your own gasp cut you off.

"Santi - fuck - Santiago!"

The look he gave you was that of a dog, when you held the treat just out of reach.

"I'm yours," you said, pulling his head in to press against your forehead. "And you," you kissed him, hard, fingers gripping his beautiful curls. "Are mine."

"Fuck," you could feel his heartbeat, his pulse, he was pressing into you so hard, like he wanted to blur where he ended and you began. You knew he understood.

"I am," he said into your skin again and again that evening. Not selfish position, a promise and a proclamation: "I'm yours."

"I'm yours."

<<

taglist:

@fangirl-316 @scribbledghost @writeforfandoms @beautyagegoodnesssize @princess76179 @mrsbentallmadge @pbeatriz

poly frontier taglist:

@grogusmum

[dourpeep]

OKAY time for a college au!!

You 3 know each other from before college

You and kazuha were seating next to each other during your first year of high school you became close enough to greet each other whenever you guys pass by each other

And you and Xiao were best friends from kindergarten to 2 grade but unfortunately you had to move suddenly you two tried to keep contact but the two of you made new friends and kinda lost contact with each other

So when you go to college you meet kazuha at the front desk when you're trying to get your schedule and yall are like "omg I'm so happy to see someone that I know here!" and when you guys check your schedules it turns out that the two of you have the same class during the first period

And you're like "we've got 30 minutes wanna go grab a cup of coffee and get lost together?" and kazu knows that you playfully flirt with your friends so he jokingly says "are you asking me out for a date? Because if you are then I accept!" and you guys talk on the way to class and the two of you barely make it on time

Class ends and you're sad to say goodbye to the only person you know on campus but then all of a sudden he hits you with a "by the way can I have your number?" so you two exchange numbers

Later you're going to your last class and it turns out that this class doesn't have many people you go sit in the back and someone comes up to you and is like "can I sit next to you? " you say yes obviously

But the thing is... there is something very familiar about this guy and you just can't put your finger on it so you kind of stare at him without realizing it

Of course he noticed how hard you've been staring at him and turns around and is like "what? Is there something on my face?" that's when it finally clicks

And you're just like "XIAO??! IS THAT REALLY YOU?!!" but the teacher comes in so you two can't really talk

But the moment class ends you tell him who you are and take a few minutes to catch up

Though I say catch up it was mostly you teasing him saying shit like "I can't believe the shy kid who used to tear up whenever his turn on the swing was taken would grow up to be this handsome!" (he's starting to think that maybe he should have sat somewhere else)

So you're like "hey how we go actually catch up I've got some coupons for this café I went to this morning with a friend"

He doesn't have a reason to say no so he just accepts the invitation

When you guys get there who do you meet? KAZUHA! This man actually works there!

When you see him you're like "kazuha why didn't you tell me that you work here?" but he pretends not to know you and is like "oh? Well who might this fine customer be?" you can tell he's joking by the way he's trying not to laugh so you decide to play along

Poor Xiao is starting to regret coming with you (but don't worry he got 2 plates of almond tofu as an apology)

-no primogems (I'll make another part later where you 3 become roommates)

YES I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS-

dhfaeiahe I realize now that I should've just posted this as is since I wasn't planning on adding to this but might as well add in some thoughts I've had about this lovely trio eh??? tbh I didn't add much I just slipped in a few little things hehe

Can you guess the roomates?? Also the bio professor is Albedo ehe

Anyway!!

Considering it's the first semester of college, you haven't yet decided on your major. Luckily, you have quite a few general education classes to take, so you register all in one night.

You'll have the time to figure it all out as time goes by, no?

The rest of summer is spent juggling moving into the campus' dorms, working, and keeping up with some friends from high school. While you've kept contact with a few friends, you definitely kicked yourself in the ass for forgetting to ask Kazuha for his number...how could you forget one of your best friends?

But, you suppose that he's far off in a whole other city with his wish to experience more. You can't help but wonder what he's up to.

Then, the first day of classes starts.

How did you not figure out where everything is first? Instead of moping, you trudge to the administrative building early to ask for directions and, even better, a map of the large campus.

Instead, you find a familiar head of cream-colored hair.

Immediately, you gasp and he turns around in confusion, only for a soft smile to spread over his features. It's only been a summer but it's a relief to see that you know another person. Comparing schedules, he points out that you both have Communications 1301 together.

For once, you're glad you have to take these mandatory courses...

But with an abundance of time (as Kazuha just so happens to know where the class is), he accepts your jokingly firtatious proposal to head to the cafe just across campus to grab a morning drink.

It's hardly been long since you've last spoken to him, but there's still so much to talk about! It turns out he opted to rent out a small studio apartment just a few blocks away from campus! Naturally, he invites you over sometime.

He's also admitted that he decided to major in English--something you're not surprised to hear. After all, Kazuha's a natural at the subject, exceeding the assignments and always so eloquent.

If you recall correctly, he used to tote around a little notebook full of little musings and poetry during high school. You wonder if he still does that.

You talk about how you've just moved into the dorms a week ago, how you're lucky to be rooming with two musically inclined (if not a bit rowdy) people. You're sure that he'd take a liking to them once everything is calmed down a bit. Kazuha just raises a brow in half-doubt.

Before you know it, it's been an hours and, to your horror, your first class starts in five minutes. Not to mention that it was back closer to the admin building and you were on the opposite side of campus.

But it's still fun, Kazuha laughing as you jolt up and tug him to stand, the two of you running to get to class on time. With heaving breaths and flushed faces, you make it just a few minutes late. Luckily, your professor didn't mind because it was the first day...

Following class, you have to make your way to Bio 1301, Kazuha having a major-specific English course to get to. Before you can speak, though, he offers his phone to you. It's newer than his old flip phone you'd tease him about all the time, the screen clean save for a few stray fingerprints.

After you put in your number, he beams and quickly sends you a call so you can have his too.

"Call me after you're done with classes, alright?"

You promise to and the two of you set off.

Biology proves to be uneventful, a full hour and a half of the (rather attractive) professor going over what to expect as well as passing out lab waiver forms. A necessary precaution, he said with a reserved sigh. You wonder what happened.

When the hour ends, you have some time before World History, followed by a Trigonometry course.

By the time you find your trig class, most of the seats are already taken, making that feeling of dread fill the pit of your stomach. Nothing is worse than being forced to take whatever seat is left. But, noticing a seat by the windows, it's not so bad.

You're in the back, though, settling your bag beneath your chair and picking out a pen and schedule book.

At some point, someone walks in and asks if the seat in front of you is taken. You don't bother to look up long as you fish out a notebook, letting him know it's free.

As class goes on, you realize that the guy in front of you most likely hasn't been paying attention. Considering that the professor has been rehashing stuff from Algebra...you're not surprised. But something about his dark hair catches your eye. Not to mention his striking gold eyes...hm.

It's not until you catch his profile as he stares out the window that it clicks.

"Xiao."

His eyes dart to look at you, a confused look washing over his face. You repeat his name.

"Yes?"

Part of him is just about ready to leave as recognition floods your expression, smile wide. How could you possibly---

"I can't believe the shy kid who used to tear up whenever his turn on the swing was taken would grow up to be this handsome!"

The tips of his ears turn red fast, something that you remember very well about him, and his gaze quickly flicks over to the professor still dragging on. When gold settles back on you, they're practically begging for you to lower your voice.

"It's been forever--I can't believe that you-"

"If you're going to talk, do it outside of class."

Ah. Oopsie.

Time seems to drag on while you buzz in your seat, excited to see your childhood friend after loosing contact. You've missed him over the years, always wondering what happened to him, how he's been. And finally, when class ends, he gets up and waits for you.

Naturally, you want to catch up, so you invite him to go to the cafe with you for a late lunch.

"You still like almond tofu right? It's all you used to eat when we were little." Laughing, you nudge his shoulder and the color returns to his cheeks as he mumbles a yes.

When you step into the cafe, a familiar voice greets you.

"If I knew a cute customer would be coming, I would've gone on break."

Kazuha leans on the counter, mirth in his eyes and you gasp. It makes sense now, why he's so well acquainted with the campus and why he'd already known what to order when you arrived for drinks-

"What can I get for you today?"

"Your number."

Xiao's face pales at the blatant flirting, wondering if he should've just declined the invitation to the cafe until the two of you burst into laughter. Though, it's hardly better.

"Sorry, sorry- This is Kazuha, one of my friends from high school. Kazuha, this is my childhood best friend Xiao."

With a day so filled with nice coincidences, you doubt that life can get any better than this.

Oh, how wrong you'd be.

[possiblyimbiassed]

The lying liars who lie

Years and years late to the party, I’ve finally gotten my hands on all the DVDs of BBC Sherlock, and I thought it would be fun to watch the extra material carefully, one piece after another, and also listen to at least some of the show makers’ commentary of the episodes. But at this point, after S4 where DVDs seemed to be a constant lying device in general, I tend to look at them with a bit more suspicious eyes...

I still love the show of course, but now that I’ve taken this deep dive into all the special features, I find them a truly hard thing to try to wrap my head around. Even this long after the fact, I’m amazed by the amount of shameless, self-congratulatory BS in the DVDs, where the people involved can’t have enough of complimenting each other and their show, while they skillfully avoid to discuss anything actually meaningful about the plot line. ;) For example, Moffat claims in the S2 DVD that “In fact, you’ll never see a more obsessively authentic version of Sherlock Holmes than this one”. But if we follow their light-hearted commentary, which basically takes the show at face value, I’d call that not just hyperbole, but an outright lie. If you want to see the ‘authentic’ stories from ACD’s work in this show, you’ll definitely need to go much deeper into the subtext and meta levels - neither of which are mentioned on these DVDs of course. Here’s my own (rather subjective) ‘review’ of the whole thing, trying to pinpoint why I view most of the commentary of the show from its own makers as an advanced art of deception. 

(My musings under the cut)

Series 1 - a wealth of extra material

First of all - as many of you probably knew already - the whole of the Unaired Pilot is added to the DVD of S1. In the extra material about the making of the series, they (Sue Vertue, Mofftiss and others) talk about what things they changed between the Pilot and ASiP, claiming that many changes were necessary improvements once they knew that they had a whole series and a lot more time at their disposal. 

Which I can perfectly understand and agree with in general. But I think what’s missing in their discussions is more interesting than what’s actually there (”Mind the gap” ;) ). Things that I would expect from the show makers when they go to the trouble of comparing the pilot version with the aired product. There’s not a word, for example, about the fact that they added both Mycroft and Moriarty to the story in ASiP - two characters who later turn out to play major roles and appear in almost every other episode until the end of TFP. Or about the choice that one of the screenwriters would play Mycroft. 

Neither do they discuss why they chose to relocate the place where Sherlock was challenged by the cabbie from 221B to Roland Kerr’s School of Further Education. Instead they focus on the details, like for example the new design of the interior of 221B.

Not to mention the fact that almost every scene in the Pilot is mirrored in ASiP (as pointed out long ago by @kateis-cakeis X), but at Angelo’s in the Pilot Sherlock follows the events with the cabbie while looking in an actual mirror. I even noticed that in the Pilot the cabbie is offering Sherlock dark-coloured bottles with the pills in them, while in ASiP those bottles are transparent, as if the cabbie is offering Sherlock to play Black or White in the chess game that he is simulating. What’s with all these mirrors, though? Not a word on the DVD... ;)

Now, even though these rather remarkable choices are neglected together with a great bunch of minor ones, I still think that the most interesting fact about all this is that they actually included the whole pilot version within this DVD, which is sold by the franchise. Why even do this, when it raises far more questions than it answers? The only logical reason I can come up with is that they’re laying out a track of little hints that anyone with a deep enough interest in the show to actually buy the DVDs can try to follow. And it seems to me that lying by omission is one of the first steps in the long line of cryptic and misleading author comments on this show. But at the same time, they clearly want the fans to have access to it all, even the abandoned version.

Moving on to Series 2, time for bigger lies 

In the extra material of this DVD Benedict himself describes how his character "faces one of his deadliest enemies in the shape of Love, and it comes in the form of Irene Adler, who is this extraordinary dominatrix [insert here a bunch of superlatives regarding Adler]...”. And then we see how Adler whips Sherlock with a riding crop (without any kind of consent, I have to add) while he’s lying on the floor, and we have Lara Pulver telling us how it was to have a go at Benedict on set. So Holmes whips dead bodies and Adler whips living; seems like a match made in hell! :))

Gatiss claims, grinning with his whole face, that “they’re clearly, absolutely made for each other”. OK, so I think we can see Sherlock being intellectually impressed by Adler, and even trying to protect her from Mycroft, and we can see John acting jealously. We can also see her being dressed and styled as a perfect, female mirror of Sherlock. But I’m still at a loss what all this has to do with love on Sherlock’s part? Especially since he’s not even responding in any fashion to her various attempts at seducing him. 

And there’s more: Paul McGuigan, the director of ASiB, claims that the scene where Sherlock has a conversation with Adler inside his Mind Palace about the crime case with the car that backfires "is a part of a kind of love story, if you like...” No, I don’t. Maybe it’s just me, but if their aim really was to convey to their audience a love story between Sherlock and The Woman, I think they failed miserably. All I see is a guy ’mansplaining’ to a clever woman how to use her brain, while she’s trying to flirt with him by expressing her admiration (to no avail, though) and make deductions at the same time. Nothing new under the sun, really. John did the same thing repeatedly in ASiP (without making own deductions) and got far more attention from Sherlock, but I’ve never heard any of the show makers call that ”a love story”. But by ’lie-splaining’ the scene with Irene to the audience, they try to manipulate us all to see it as such...

In all the direct commentary of this episode, where Steven, Mark, Sue, Benedict and Lara are present, I get the impression that every time they even touch on the relationship between Sherlock and John, they hurry to add the term “friendship” or “man love” or similar words in case they forgot them at first, avoiding even the tiniest possibility that there could be anything more going on between them. They even explain that when Irene calls them “a couple” she does not mean anything romantic. This whole approach feels almost paranoic in the midst of all the laid-back jokes and light-hearted talk about the filming. It’s as if a sort of restrictive, heteronormative filter or blanket is being constantly applied, to teach the audience the ‘no homo’ lesson of it all. And the more I listen to this, the more tiresome it becomes.

In the commentary Moffat does reveal an interesting detail, though: that the ‘Flight of the Dead’ in ASiB was inspired by a cut out scene in the Bond movie On Her Majesty's Secret Service. To me this is just one more reason to question the ‘authentic’ quality of this scene, as opposed to possibly taking place in Sherlock’s Mind Palace. But I digress... 

Listening to the commentary in general, it’s like it’s aimed to distract the attention from what’s going on at the screen rather than highlight it and try to explain their intentions. They do mention that Irene didn’t actually ‘beat’ Sherlock in the end of ASiB, but there’s no explanation of this obvious deviation from canon, where Adler does indeed fool Holmes, taking advantage of his prejudices.

The rest of the extra material of S2 is mostly about technical stuff, special effects and such, and also about filming techniques and Benedict’s delivery of fast deductions. But the part I really do love is the one where Andrew Scott talks about how much he enjoyed playing the scene where Moriarty dances before breaking into the Crown Jewels. That’s one of my favorite scenes of he whole show. :) Also, the takeaway message from this DVD is Moffat’s words at the end: 

“These are still the formative years of Sherlock Holmes, and the most important thing about this series is not that it’s updated; it’s the fact that those two men are still young and they’re still at the beginning of what they don’t yet know is gonna be a lifelong partnership”. 

And then comes Series 3... 

...and its extra material, with the most blatant attempts at deception so far, I believe. At this point Sherlock is called a “psychopath” by both the show’s characters, John’s blog, Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman as if it were true, which is a big deviation from ACD canon. That simply doesn’t happen there; while Holmes is sometimes described as eccentric, no one in the books is ever claiming that Sherlock Holmes has some kind of mental illness leaning towards cruelty and egotism - not even his enemies say this about him. In the show, however, they begin in ASiP with making him torture a dying man for information (something that is not included in the Pilot). And in S3, where they avoid discussing the reason why they turned Mary Morstan into a ruthless assassin, this major shift is glossed over by the fact that in the same episode (HLV) they also turn Sherlock into a murderer, who cold-bloodedly blows the brains out of a blackmailer for threatening to make said assassin’s crimes public. 

But without ever getting into the “why” of it all, the cast and crew seem overly happy and smiling describing these rather morbid choices as something positive; “fantastic”, "fresh and new” and "amazing” are their choice of words. Benedict claims that Mary, who has literally shot and almost killed Sherlock in HLV, is now "a new best friend of Sherlock’s”. Amanda claims that Mary “is protecting John” when she shoots Sherlock in the chest. Now they’re both psychopaths, and poor little John is forced to stomach them both because he’s addicted to danger. In Amanda’s words, Mary also “kind of gets in between the two of them, but she wants them to be together as well”.  Which is a load of BS considering that Mary tries to kill the protagonist of the story.

Lars Mikkelsen thinks it’s “such a good script” because “you’re mislead as an audience”. But he never gets the chance to expand on what the misleading actually contains, because then Mofftiss cut in to express how much they love playing with “what ifs”. As if this whole mega-budget project of a show were just a big experimental playground without any actual story to tell. 

Benedict repeats his line from HLV that Magnussen “preys on people who are different” and Moffat also says he “exploits people who are different”. Which is really confusing, considering what we can see Magnussen actually do in the show. Lady Smallwood and John Garvie are two well-established, powerful governmental politicians whom Magnussen blackmails by finding their respective pressure points. In Garvie’s case his pressure point seems to be alcohol problems in his past, but according to media he’s later arrested on charges of corruption. Lady Smallwood is blackmailed on the basis of her husband having sent compromising letters to a minor many years ago, in spite of later claiming that he thought she was older and stopped when he found out the truth. And then Magnussen is blackmailing an assassin who recently threatened to execute him but shot Sherlock Holmes instead, in order to try to get at Sherlock’s brother Mycroft, another powerful governmental figure. 

But what does media seeking out dirt on certain people in power and their families have to do with “people who are different”? Despicable as the method may be, isn’t this unfortunately how political power play usually works in our society? Or are TPTB somehow a repressed minority group now? Unless this whole “people who are different” accusation is actually about something entirely different, something that none of the show makers even cares to mention... ;)

In these DVDs, none of the involved persons is ever discussing the change of roles with regards to canon, though, or the (lack of) logics in this turn of events, or even a hint about the narrative motivation behind them. It’s all about the great Drama, the extraordinary visual effects and the aim to endlessly “surprise the audience”. Which is fine by me to a certain extent, but when this is all that’s being said, it feels extremely superficial, as if the audience is merely seen as a bunch of consumers that have to be triggered more and more by horror, special effects and cliff hangers to be able to appreciate the show. (“Warm paste” indeed, like Gatiss has later criticized some viewers of wanting...) While the "why”; the idea behind this surrealistic adaptation, made by self-proclaimed fanboys of ACD, is not even touched upon. Around this, the silence is total and therefore totally confusing.

Maybe I shouldn’t even go into Series 4...

...but why not, since I’ve already started? :) 

First of all, there’s a lot of extra material on this DVD and I particularly love the parts about the music and composing and Arwel Wyn Jones’ work with the design and build-up of John’s and Mary’s flat and the interior of 221B. Those bits are truly enjoyable. What I could live without, though, is the leading commentary that kind of instructs us, the audience, how we should interpret the show. 

Benedict is on it again on this DVD, telling us that in TST they picked up where they left off in S3 and “It’s a very happy unit of three people that then become four.” Why does he feel the need to make this statement, considering how S3 ended? Actually, if there’s anything I totally fail to see in S4, it’s happiness. The banter between the three  of them may seem entertaining for a while, but who could have a relaxed, warm relationship with someone who tried and almost succeeded to kill you less than a year ago? Without any sign of remorse? Now there’s a dark tone of discomfort and mean jokes that feels forced and not even a bit happy to me. 

But Martin tells us how excited John and Mary are about starting a family and Amanda mentions how much they’re looking forward to the baby. Again and again it’s repeated, as though trying to rub it in: “they’re in a good place, they’re a loving, married couple”. Yeah, right - a child that (judging by TSoT) wasn’t at all planned and now with an assassin for a mother... Twice we see the new parents complain that their daughter has the mark of Satan on her forehead and debate which horror movie she’s from. The clichéd hypocrisy of it all is sickening, and I’m willing to bet that it’s really meant to be. ;) 

But Gatiss chimes in, deciding for us all that the christening of Rosie is “a funny scene” and “they’re enjoying each other, enjoying being on adventures as a three”.

An interesting detail is that Gatiss also tells us that the working name of this episode was “The Adventure of the Melting power Ranger”. So this little blue guy was that important? :) And - even more interesting - is when he says: “Cake is now the code for violent death”. So how should we interpret Sherlock, John and Molly going out to have cake in TLD then, on Sherlock’s (supposed) birthday? 

These might be jokes, though, but when they tell us that Sue cries every time she sees Mary’s death I strongly believe they must be joking. How could anyone feel truly moved by this overly sentimental long monologue where far more efforts are put into reacting to Mary’s speech than saving her life? And John’s mooing like a cow, is that also moving? :)

One thing Martin says about TLD that actually disgusts me is regarding the morgue scene where John assaults Sherlock and Sherlock lets it happen: “From there, really, their relationship can only sort of rebuild, that’s the absolute worst it can get”. As if outright physical abuse would be something that makes you want to rebuild a relationship? Wow - just wow... How far can they go with this crap?

Anyway, when we finally arrive at the absurdity of TFP and Sherlock’s ‘secret sister’, everything is of course discussed as if she actually does exist on the given premises, and everything she does is ‘real’, no matter how impossible it would be in real life. The abandonment of any attempt to have the story line make logical sense is skillfully covered up by more distraction with fascinating technicalities of the film making process. This is where Gatiss makes his now almost classic statement that after Sherlock and John jump out of the window at 221B when a grenade explodes there, it’s just “Boop! And they’re fine.” 

Of course there’s no serious attempt at explaining this logically. Except perhaps Gatiss claiming that they both landed on Speedy’s awning - whatever good that would do to them, since the awning is leaning downwards, but never mind... But we never even saw that happen, did we? A great deal of time is then dedicated to show all the precautions to have Martin and Ben jumping safely at low level onto a madras supported by empty cardboard boxes.

Sian Brooke did say something interesting about Sherrinford, however, that got me thinking. She said that Eurus “wants revenge for the years and years that she has been held captive” there, isolated, and that in TFP the Holmes children are now “lab rats” and “it’s an experiment”. On a meta level, I think we can indeed see this episode - and maybe the whole show - as a kind of experiment, but maybe we, the audience, are also lab rats? Since Sherrinford is slightly shaped like a film camera (not commented in the extra material, of course), it leads my thought to all the adaptations through the years and years where Holmes and Watson have not been allowed to be together. A whole century when Sherlock Holmes has been held captive, restricted by the very same sort of heteronormative filter that all this extra material imposes; it’s like Sherrinford, isn’t it? Which gives all the more meaning to Moriarty’s arrival to the island, accompanied by Freddy Mercury’s “I want to break free”...

I think I’ll let the final words in this little exposé come from Mark Gatiss in The Writers’ Chat (my bolding):

“Moriarty is a fascinating thing in that in our sea of ongoing lies, one thing we’ve genuinely been completely consistent about is telling people he’s dead. But no-one believes it! And it’s a rather brilliant thing.”  Again - self-congratulatory statements. But instead of providing some actual evidence of the death of this character, who has kept popping up in almost every episode since his supposed demise, they think that the more a confirmed liar repeats something, the truer it gets? And the more we’re supposed to believe them? Well, all we can do is wait and see. :)

Tagging some people who might be interested: 

@raggedyblue​ @ebaeschnbliah​ @sarahthecoat​ @gosherlocked​ @lukessense​ @sagestreet​ @thepersianslipper​

My earlier meta on a similar topic (X)

[babyboibucky]

Stages - Part 1

Pairing: AU!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1,072

Summary: Bucky slowly realizes that he wants to cross the line of friendship with you.

A/N: I started a new series and this is the result of listening to Lauv’s Feelings so y’all might want to listen to that. A good ‘ol classic friends to lovers trope...if they do end up together in the end lol

STAGES MASTERLIST || MAIN MASTERLIST

-

ONE: REALIZATION

Bucky was sure that it was just platonic, his friendship with you. Being friends since your ugliest days back in college, it wasn't that hard not to keep it platonic. You sported the most hideous haircut back then, wore braces that made you spit on Bucky's face whenever the two of you argued and you cursed like a motherfucking sailor.

There wasn’t even a hint of sweetness in your entire personality. Bucky literally cried to you out of fear when he almost failed a major and you merely laughed at him, called him a pussy for getting emotional over something so trivial and bought him a bucket of beer to make him feel better.

"She's totally not girlfriend material." Bucky used to tell everyone and you always agreed without even feeling offended.

Why would you be anyway? Getting attracted to Bucky never crossed your mind even though he didn't seem to have that awkward teenager phase, that lucky bastard. He was already good-looking with his piercing blue eyes and boyish grin that made every girl in the university swoon. Sure, he had some baby fat back then but his goddamn charm was undeniable.

Too bad it never worked on you.

You’ve seen how Bucky flirted, heard his cheesy pick-up lines over and over again and they just made you cringe. You almost wanted to throw up when Bucky shamelessly engaged in phone sex while he hung out at your dorm. Thank god he didn’t whip his dick out and jerked off while you studied, he just groaned and cursed into the phone, talked dirty to whoever it was he was talking to and boy was Bucky terrible at it.

“You want me to fuck you with my 8-inch dick?” Bucky grunted into the phone as he laid on your bed.

You rolled your eyes and slammed your laptop shut, deciding to continue reviewing somewhere else. You left your dorm but not without grabbing Bucky’s phone, interrupting him in the middle of his disgusting sex talk.

“8-inch dick? More like 8 inches divided by 4. Good luck sucking his micropenis, sis.”

“You fucking, bitch!”

The both of you knew each other very well too, a tad bit too much at that. You knew each other's deepest darkest secrets like that one time in sophomore year when Bucky had food poisoning during a test and had to swallow back his vomit again and again until he finished the exam. Or when you went on a blind date for the first time, sharted, and braved through the entire day with shit in your underwear.

You also knew he wasn't one to settle down and all the times that he did commit, he always ended up breaking the poor girl's heart. Bucky was also aware of your trust issues given your family history. Having witnessed your parents fall out of love and into resentment, you refused to believe in relationships.

“I heard you rejected Tyler. He isn’t so bad you know?” Bucky asked as he sat next to you in the library.

“You know I don’t do relationships, Buck.” you told him, leaning your face against your palm as you flipped through the pages of your handouts.

“I heard you dumped Dot.” you asked back. “I thought she was the one. I mean, you sorta changed when you started dating her. Thought you stopped using your dick to think.”

Bucky shrugged, “I got bored of it.” he responded.

You snorted and turned to him, “Guys like you are the reason why I don’t do relationships.”

“Yeah well, girls like you are the reason why I don’t do commitment.” he snapped back. “You’re too cynical, I mean c’mon. Have fun, suck a dick without attachments.” he said out loud, earning a chorus of shushes from the other students engrossed in their books.

You rolled your eyes at Bucky in embarrassment and started gathering your things, preparing to leave the library.

“I already did.”

“What the fuck?! When and whose dick did you suck?!”

“Shush!!!!!”

It was pretty clear that romance was out of the books between the two of you.

Bucky was sure that it was just platonic, his friendship with you. Until he slowly began to realize that maybe, just maybe...you might be girlfriend material after all.

-

As the years went by, Bucky started noticing the little changes in you in all aspects...and as a man, it was the physical changes that he started to notice first.

Sleepovers weren't unusual for the both of you, in fact, the both of you were comfortable letting each other stay the night at each other’s dorms. Junior year in college, Bucky decided to stay at your dorm to work on a project. You had just finished taking a bath when Bucky knocked on your door and almost choked on his own spit upon seeing you in a tight cami top and the tiniest pair of shorts.

It wasn’t really the first time you paraded around Bucky wearing such, but for some reason, he couldn’t get his eyes to look away from your chest that night because fuck, when did they get that perky? Bucky felt bad for sexualizing so he decided to go through your old pictures (you with the ugly-ass hair and braces) to rinse his brain and fortunately, it worked.

For a while, Bucky managed to ignore the physical changes you were going through. It didn't last long though, because right after graduation Bucky started to notice a lot of things about you. Your hair had grown longer and for some reason, Bucky found himself wanting to run his fingers through your locks. He loved the natural waves in your hair, sometimes he'd tug at them to annoy you but truth was, he just wanted an excuse to touch it.

You had your braces removed in senior year too but it wasn't until your graduation that Bucky noticed how it totally changed your smile. You were pretty insecure about your teeth and when you finally got them straightened out, you learned to smile more and with confidence. Bucky remembered your habit of covering your mouth with your hands whenever you laughed so when he first saw you laugh freely, he thought you looked the most beautiful.

Were the changes in you that blatant for Bucky to start noticing them or was he just paying more attention to you?

Bucky didn't know why. At least, not yet.

-

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @hersilencedscreams 

Sign up on my tag list here - https://forms.gle/b5haFXewSKqnXxxh7

[shadow-scenarios]

Can I get a phantom thieves reaction to feeling jealousy over their s/o for the first time please? thank you for your work 💞

Anon, you’re brilliant. Jealousy HCs are always fun for me to write.

Thank you for the compliment!! You best be staying hydrated and taking care of yourself.

- Nexus.

Joker { Akira Kurusu }

✧ As the master of suppressing his emotions, Akira knows exactly what jealousy is & how unhealthy it can be. However, despite months of practise he cannot help but pull them away from the person who was making him jealous. It is almost like an impulse.

✧ Very subtly he does this. It starts with distracting the conversation away to something he finds easy to talk about with his significant other & he very slowly starts to disinclude the person making him jealous from the conversation. He is so incredibly subtle that most people do not notice.

✧ Eventually he takes them away, holding their hand the entire time. There is a smile plastered on his face but inside he feels a sense of both pride for taking them away from the source of his suffering & shame for being so irrational. Akira kisses them on the top of their head but if they were to mention him being jealous, he would eventually admit it with a small frown.

Skull { Ryuji Sakamoto }

✧ Ryuji has rather intense feelings about his significant other & if he feels as though someone is flirting with them, he is quick to take action. Though most of the time he swoops in to check how they are doing, he will press a chaste kiss onto their cheek as he leaves.

✧ He tries to be subtle but it is very obvious when he is jealous because he complains about the person immediately after they leave & he vehemently denies any trace of being jealous. Although it is quite endearing, it can be frustrating to deal with.

✧ Talking to him is the key. Promising that they would never leave him for someone else is rather reassuring to his mind & although Ryuji is barely ever insecure about their relationship, seeing other people act flirty { even if unintentional } makes him feel not quite right.

Panther { Ann Takamaki }

✧ Ann often tries to see the good in people at first because she is an optimistic person at heart. However, no one comes between herself & her significant other. Her jealousy can be very dangerous if not kept under lock & key.

✧ Even if it is something rather minor such as accidental hand brushing, she will lean over & kiss them because there is an instinctual need to ensure that no one will steal them because she knows how lucky she is to have them.

✧ Anyone who is perverted towards them must be eradicated. She knows exactly what it is like to deal with that kind of abuse & cannot even stand the thought of her significant other dealing with anything even remotely similar to what happened with Kamoshida.

Fox { Yusuke Kitagawa }

✧ Yusuke is very hard to make jealous because he understands the beauty of the human body. He makes a lot of comments about how people are attractive & does not notice flirting most of the time because he is simply just very eccentric.

✧ Someone who incurred his wrath will be very deserving of it. Although he struggles with some social clues, he is not completely oblivious to certain advances. He will pour his heart & soul into a speech about how they are trying to steal away his lover, grabbing the attention of anyone nearby. It is actually quite embarrassing how boldly he proclaims his love for them.

✧ Afterwards, he places a kiss on their forehead & claims that no one shall steal them away whilst he is protecting them. Just wait until someone flirts with him & he has absolutely no clue what they are talking about...

Queen { Makoto Niijima }

✧ One of the people most likely to be logical & talk things out. If someone were to flirt with them, she would simply approach & tell them that she is their significant other, meaning that they are off limits. It is a methodical approach but it works well to ward most people off.

✧ For some stupid reason if they were to continue with that behaviour, they would face the Fist of Justice. Not literally though, she does not want to be arrested for assault. She would verbally attack them, saying that they are making her significant other uncomfortable.

✧ Makoto does not really get angry because she can see why people would flirt with them? They are beautiful & as long as everyone knows that they belong to her, everything will be fine.

Oracle { Futaba Sakura }

✧ Poor bean. Futaba does not understand a lot of her emotions so when she begins to feel rather weird around someone talking to her significant other, she goes & bothers them, hoping to distract both herself & them from the conversation.

✧ It is incredibly blatant that she is jealous by the way she is so obviously trying to pull them away from the person they are talking to but the process by which she goes about it is incredibly endearing.

✧ Explaining jealousy to her is important. Most of the time it is unconscious but catching her out of it is good because she can be quite clingy.

Noir { Haru Okumura }

✧ Haru is tolerant of most people due to her sweet nature so it is likely that she would not be jealous of anyone. However, in the unlikely event it does ever occur, she has a plan. She will not part with her significant other without a fight.

✧ As a warning, she very casually takes their hand in her own & continues on with whatever is happening. She makes sure that the object of her jealousy can see quite clearly. Despite being an indirect method, the simple action conveys a lot.

✧ If it got particularly bad & there was flirting going on, she would verbally say something. Very calmly, Haru would mention the length of their relationship or something about an anniversary, which would immediately cause them to back down.

& Bonus Character — Goro Akechi

{ I just had a really good idea with Akechi & wrote this as a spur of the moment thing— }

Crow { Goro Akechi }

✧ Akechi is not the type of man to share, especially when it comes to that criminal trash Akira Kurusu. He was merely on a date with his significant other at the arcade when they had ran into each other. It was clear that the interaction was mostly innocent & that they had known each other previously but when they put a hand on his shoulder, something snapped.

✧ Ever so politely, he takes their hand & suggests that they must be going, as they do not often get time to themselves for a date. At some point, he grips their hand slightly too tightly & does not notice until they point out that they are hurting them.

✧ Afterwards, Akechi appears rather embarrassed. He apologises at least three or four times, simply saying that he wanted to enjoy the little time the two of them had together. If his significant other were to tease him about it, he would actually become rather flustered & ask them to stop rather abashedly.

Word Count: 1.1k

Publish Date: 07.10.20

[slitherofgold]

I loathe you Pt 1- Sam Fender Imagine

Standing before the mirror, you were impressed with the reflection. You had made an effort with your appearance (for once) and the result wasn’t too bad. You were looking forward to tonight, finally getting the chance to catch up with the boys who had been on tour for months. You had missed them, in fact your home town didn’t feel the same without them. The plan was drinks at your local pub- the Low Lights Tavern- just so you could catch up and see how everyone was doing. Well, not everyone. Thankfully, Drew had convinced Sam not to come for your sake. It wasn’t as if you hated the guy, but he always seemed to kill the mood with his sulky attitude and blunt remarks. It was almost as if he despised you and just couldn’t stand your company, so you kindly asked Drew not to invite Sam. 

You hopped in the taxi and headed towards the tavern, getting more eager by the second to see your friends. The pub was your guys spot, whenever someone needed to celebrate, whenever someone was sad, whenever someone needed to let off a little steam, you’d always meet at this spot. 

You walked in and instantly looked towards your usual booth.You would’ve been happy to be reminded of your friends faces, but unfortunately to your dismay, Mr Sam Fender was sat with them, blatant of your arrival. You were tempted to walk back out, to come up with some petty excuse for you to leave, but it was too late, the gang had noticed you. “Y/n!”, Dean waved you over, obviously happy to see you. You quickly plastered on a smile and strutted in their direction. You were not going to let Sam ruin tonight.

“Hey guys, long time no see.” Dean squeezed up, allowing room for you to sit. Within an instant it was like they had never left. They told you stories from on tour (like Sam threatening to break into a Greggs after a particularly messy night out) and they had asked about what you had been up to too. 

“So y/n you seeing anyone”, Drew asked, whilst side-glancing towards Sam. Great, you were going to be reminded YET AGAIN that you were still single, and you were certain that Sam basked in your sad, single loneliness. 

“Yep obviously. I think I just defer guys with my presence.”

“Obviously”, Sam muttered under his breath. You pretended to ignore him but you couldn’t help but notice the sharp glance Drew gave him from across the table. He quickly attempted to assure you. “Nah that’s not true, I knew a bunch of guys who had a crush on you at school.”

“Yeah, like who?” You raised your brow out of curiosity.

“Sorry that’s classified information. I promised I’d never tell.”

“Drew, school was nine years ago.” You folded your arms across the table, waiting for an answer. 

“Yeah but it was a pinky promise and you know how sacred they are.”

“Sure, now I’m gonna go get us some more drinks before you bore everyone with my non-existent love life.” You left the table and headed towards the bar, hoping they’d change the topic by the time you’d get back. It wasn’t as if your love life was non-existent it was just very much unsuccessful. For some reason you had a certain type for dickheads, the kind who loved to walk all over you and cheat whenever they felt like it. In a way you were grateful for your chain of ex-lovers, they had made you tougher to a certain extent, and boys knew it too. In fact, most of the time, the boys refused to meet whoever you were dating. It was almost as if they could see right through each and every bloke, and decided that any guy would never be good enough for you or their time. “6 pints please.”

“That’s a lot of pints for a small thing like you.” You hadn’t even looked at the bartender, but his voice seemed to pull you out of a trance. You quickly realised how good-looking he was. He was roughly in his late 20s, dirty blonde hair and kind brown eyes. He was charming in some sort of way and he had even kinder smile. Shit, you were still staring. He must think I’ve got something wrong with me. 

“I wish they were, but I’m pretty sure you’d have to roll me out of here if I even attempted to down all six.” He laughed and started pouring out glasses, locking eyes with you every so often. “So are you new? I haven’t seen you around here before.” God, you were cringing so bad. You knew you were a bit rusty but this ‘flirting’ was just a shit-show.

“Kinda, some of my relatives live down here but I don’t live too far either. I take it you’re local?”

“Sadly, yes. Hopefully I can get out soon if my job picks up.” You were hopeful, but it was the truth. Although you loved Shields, you didn’t wanna stay here forever. 

“It’s not too bad around here, where would you wanna go, when you do get out?”

“I’ve not thought that far ahead yet, maybe down South or maybe even somewhere else in Europe.”

“I’ll have to tag along if you don’t mind.” He folded his arms across the bar and leaned down to your eye level. God, talking to this guy was so easy, you could stare into those eyes for hours. You hadn’t even realised that he’d poured all six drinks! 

“Sure, I could use the company.” You played along, silently hoping he’d take you up on the offer. 

“Isn’t your boyfriend good company then?” 

“My boyfriend?!” You gave him an unsure glance, you were certain that you were single. 

“Yeah, the guy giving me the evils.” You turned to look. “Don’t look!” He lightly grabbed your arm stopping you from turning. “God, don’t make it too obvious”, he laughed. “The guy in the white-shirt sat with you and your friends, blondish hair?”

“Ohhhhh, that’s Sam”, you laughed. “We’re not together.” 

“He’s been giving me the evils ever since you strutted on over, I took a guess thought you and him were a thing or something.”

You snorted, “Sam basically hates me, he treats me like shit or ignores me half the time.”

“Trust me, coming from a guy, he’s definitely feeling something other than hate for you.” 

“And trust me, knowing Sam for nearly 10 years, basically makes him my brother.” You couldn’t put anymore emphasis on that, you and Sam were not a thing. Period. 

“Well if you’re adamant that there’s nothing going on between you, I’d love to take your number?” You blushed but willingly took the guys phone and dialled in your number. 

“Y/n by the way.”

“Archie, lovely to meet you y/n.” He smiled and you and you smiled back effortlessly. God, his smile really was something. 

“You too, now I’d better get back to my friends before they start screaming for their beer.” You walked on ever to the group, careful not to spill the drinks. 

“Oi oi, look at you gettin’ ya flirt on”, Dean whistled. You blushed again, knowing full well that Archie could hear. 

“See told ya guys fancied you, you just can’t see it half the time.” You instantly thought back to Sam and glanced in his direction. Sure enough, he was sulking as usual. 

“I’m going for a ciggy”, Sam announced, and with that he stood up and stalked on outside- ruining the mood once more. 

“Think I might join him”, Drew said and quickly left after him. You shrugged and sat down next to Dean once more. Dean started talking about the good old days, laughing about the stupid things you guys did when you were young. 

“Remember that one time you hit by the swing playing chicken, and Sam felt so bad he pedalled home to go get you a plaster.”

“Omg and by the time he got back, I had stopped crying and we had started a new round.” 

“He was so mad, I remember he wanted you to sit out to rest your “injured” knee. It was literally the smallest cut ever!” You both laughed at the memory. You remembered that you had argued with Sam that day, you refused to sit and watch whilst the boys had all the fun. “I miss those days man”, Dean continued, “when we didn’t have to worry about anything other than going to the park after school.”

“Yeah but you enjoy tour life right? You’re travelling, meeting new people. I’m sure you got girls throwing themselves at your feet as well.” 

“That’s one bonus, I get homesick though. Actually, Sam was saying how you should come with us when we go on tour next.”

“He did?!” The news took you by surprise. He wanted to spend time with you. 

“Yeah, he said you could be our own personal groupie”, Dean chuckled. You? A groupie for Sam? You loved there music, there was no doubt about it but you weren’t sure how you felt about him as a person. You’d known him for a while but you didn’t really KNOW him that well. He was a difficult person. 

“Yeah sounds good. I missed you guys whilst you were away.”

“We all missed you too, especially Sam. It was kind of annoying actually, he complained about you not being there with us A LOT”. God, Sam just seem to escape the conversation tonight. Everything just sounded so unlike him. It never acted like this around you, and he certainly hadn’t said anything nice about you to your face. It was definitely a shock. 

“Speaking of the buggers, I’m going to see what’s taking them so long.” You needed some air anyway, it was so stuffy inside. As you reached the door you heard a quiet a conversation. You wouldn’t usually snoop but you recognised the voices. It sounded like a very important conversation. Their voices were tense yet quiet, ensuring that no one would be able to hear. No one but you obviously. 

“Drew leave it. Nothings ever going to happen between us. We wouldn’t work. We’re two VERY different people who have VERY different lives.” Sam. You wondered who he was on about, was he seeing someone? Why did you care?

“Mate you’ve had a crush on her since we were 12. I know you still like her, and you can’t deny it.”

“Yeah and so what. We date. It goes wrong. It fucks up our whole gang. Things become awkward. The end. That’s what will happen. End of.”

“Well, you’ll never know until you try. All I’m saying is that you better man up quick, otherwise someones gonna beat you to it.”

 Wait, known since 12, fuck up whole gang, that only narrows it down to one person. Me, Sam likes me, you thought, and with that, you heard the boys stomping out their fags ready to re-enter the tavern and face you once more.

[ifeveristoday]

I got out my DVDs for this rewatch (that’s not actually a big deal. I only have season 3 on DVD. 😂) so let’s get to it.

I forgot they did a cold open for this episode!

I know it’s for ambiance but man does Angel have a lot of candles displayed. Probably too ‘mainstream’ for his taste but the thought of Angel furtively going to a Bath and Bodyworks in the mall during their semi-annual sale and just buying out their whole candle selection gives me the purest joy. Let’s be real though, Angel would shop at some boutique/hole in the wall owned by a wizened old character with a twinkle in their eye and everything marked up 20%. Or it would be a steel and glass monstrosity with a collection labeled Candles for Men. That’s the range.

Back to the enormous fire hazard that this scene is -

Wait. Does fire burn on stone?

Shout out to the stunt doubles.

I think that Angel getting food for Buffy for a sort of alfresco picnic while training is really sweet, actually. Also, can't miss the opportunity for both carbs and phallic symbolism ala bread.

Everyone is so embarrassingly horny in this moment. I'd say get a room except they're in a whole giant mansion.

Always remember the bread! What did Angel do with the food after Buffy fled? Fed the no-doubt cursed pigeons that live in Sunnydale.

Thanks for the workout (insert stereotypical dirty laugh).

Oh yes, the awkward 'let's talk about your birthday without mentioning the last birthday you had at all because it's horrifying' chitchat. God, the anxiety Angel is radiating here and Buffy trying to smooth it over. You can't unfrost that trauma cake!

Angel, you utter dork. You're lucky Buffy finds you pretty. Very powerful himbo energy here. And it's nice to see some light-hearted flirting/banter between them.

How do you know when someone's aura's dirty? Buffy is only asking the reasonable questions everyone has.

Do you hear yourself, Giles. "I'm aware of your distaste in studying vibratory stones..." I can't imagine what that section of the Slayer handbook looks like. Are there pull-out charts?

Faith being conveniently gone for this episode. Boo, hiss.

That workout really did a number on Buffy. I see what you're doing with those crystals.

One of the sad parts of rewatching Buffy is that you just don't have the first time discovery feels of watching it - that magic is gone, but even though I know why Buffy's wobbling in her fight, the reveal is still upsetting. Thinking about how in Season 5, when she does get staked, just as she's questioning her powers - and here, where she's losing them.

Also, obvious observation is obvious - the sexual violence imagery is really, really blatant here - with the vampire crouched over her with the stake aimed toward her heart, just as she playfully staked Angel earlier in a more romantically set scene.

AND THEN THE THEME KICKS IN. Like, damn! Three minutes and you can pretty much tell what the plot is going to be - Buffy and Angel's UST is getting out of hand, Buffy's lone Rangering it, and something is wrong with her. And it's her birthday.

And Buffy's resourcefulness saves the day.

Perhaps you shouldn't be throwing knives in the library, Buffy.

Did they do a geography lesson on Cuernavaca? It's also just fun to say. Like La Cienega. Brief moment to ponder yet again about a show set in Southern California, actually shot in Southern California, with the huge Latine population we have and the Spanish-influenced names and culture and - getting sidetracked by all this casual 90s racism.

"We do it every year for my birthday," except your seventeenth, presumably because of the murderous ex-boyfriend stalking the town you live in and all your loved ones. [Or, he did take her and it was not shown on screen!] Sometimes I wonder if the continuity editors just go, you know, I'm going to let this one go for the 'emotion' and not just so years later, a Virgo with a deep-seated need to obsess over throwaway details will go into a thought spiral to make it make sense.

I think this is also the last time Hank Summers was spoken of with any real affection because then he was Deadbeat Dad for the remainder of the show. Oh, look. The Scoobies are surprised about the traditional birthday ice show that I'm going to nitpick about forever.

Oz is so supportive, and then the clunker of a 'deep' line of ice being cool because it's water then it's not. I do like the Whedonesque school of dialogue, but sometimes you gotta reel it back. I remember the dialogue on Dawson's Creek was getting pinged for the teenagers talking like grad students.

Quiet reflection. Oh you poor girl, you have no idea.

Quarterly projections - is a convincing filler phrase for when you don't need to know what the job is, because it's boring but sounds vaguely official. What does Hank actually do? Who cares! He's an asshole.

Sunnydale Arms, because of course, Sunnydale has a broken down abandoned murder hotel.

Quentin Travers. Boo. Hiss.

The scary music is very scary. Also one of the Council flunkies looks like a very young Vincent D'Onofrio.

This scene with them in the library is so bittersweet because Buffy is fishing for Giles's attention as a father figure substitute ("very sophisticated people go!" breaks my heart) and he pointedly is rejecting this for training talk.

Look for the flaw at its center. THE FLAW IS YOU GILES. YOU YOU YOU.

it's just so terrible, this scene because of how methodical and clinical it plays out. And Buffy is just not there, and then Giles smiles like nothing has happened.

Buffy makes it through another night - next day (another reason why this trial is so horrifying is that it takes place over several days - it's not on Buffy's birthday but leading up to it, so the idea of her getting weaker and weaker and unable to fight to make it to 18 in the first place) and it's time for the Cordelia has had enough of toxic masculinity scene!

Also, Willow blithely ignoring a person's feelings and treating Amy as just a rat is played for laughs and cuteness, but yeah...you can't treat people like puppets or rats [law and order sound]

I love Cordelia's coat. And also, while it does suck that she stood him up, he's not entitled to her time or attention and certainly not to threaten her. Go, Cordy! Fight like a girl! Yes! Pummel him into the hallway.

I also love Willow's outfit here because I think the colors are so complementary and warm and it's a cute outfit. Okay, the knit wooly hat is a bit too Blossom-esque, but whatever.

Buffy is tiny, we all know this, but I do think they purposefully dressed her in larger than her size coats in this episode to make her look even more tiny and vulnerable.

Giles is TOO BLASE for this scene also shut your mouth about throwing knives like a girl

"It's an archaic exercise in cruelty." SO WHY DID YOU GO ALONG WITH IT, BRAIN TRUST. (I am going to be very mean to Giles this whole rewatch, deal with it.)

"But I'm the one in the thick of it." No, you're not. You are going to be adjacent to it, at best.

Hey it's that guy!

Okay, in better lighting, flunkie does not look like Vincent D'Onofrio.

It's impossible to pin down one type of Vampire in the Whedonverse, except for the delineation between Grunt Bait Vampires, and Special Guest Star/Master vampires, but Kralik is the only other example of a vampire with mental illness besides Drusilla, yet he's medicated. Makes me wonder how exactly they got Kralik...he was a monster before he was a vampire, but who vamped him? I don't put it past the Watchers to have vampires created for this purpose.

Curse against lawyers!

Xander and Oz bonding over comic books is so fun. I regret they didn't really get closer until after Xander and Willow cheated because Oz was the one male friend Xander had.

They mentioned her birthday! Thinking about Buffy's love of poetry later on, this is a nice little detail, and it *is* a thoughtful, sweet gift. Also those poems: horny. Oh yes, maybe in a restrained way, but Elizabeth Barrett Browning knew what was up.

The Buffy and Angel relationship in season three is full of these starts and stops that I can see why and agree with others about how it's frustrating on a number of levels. They know why they can't be together, but they still try to find a common ground because they want to need the other one. They still have their identities to figure out - Buffy as the slayer and a young adult, Angel as a person, separate from Buffy and being Buffy's ex sort of maybe.

But this conversation in Helpless is genuinely sweet and a glimpse at what a normal couple at the crossroads would talk about - I think I'm also being soft on this because the other Important Male Figure in Buffy's life in this episode lets her down so spectacularly bad, that Angel being supportive and kind in his awkward way is a nice respite. It's good to be away from the angst and the horror that their relationship has had.

And the self-aware puncturing of the Moment between them is something Buffy does very well. "Taken literally, incredibly gross - I was just thinking that too". Look, it's cute and soft and I will allow it.

The horror of this episode (and there are so many) is that we have to watch Buffy become the helpless blonde in a slasher flick who is being chased by the monsters and she can't do anything about it - that she has to be rescued or die. That the real world with men catcalling and bystanders who ignore women's cries of distress is far scarier than the literal demons that inhabit the town - and Buffy brokenly saying she can't just be a person, she can't be helpless like that [like women are, still, today] is a gut punch. It's uncomfortable and unhappy because Buffy is supposed to be the hero, the [sigh] strong female lead who can kick ass and take names, and this episode is all about finding who Buffy is, separate from her super powers. Also an exercise in emotional torture, but must be Tuesday.

The physicality - the weakness that both Buffy and Giles display in this scene is so, so good. The way Buffy's hand trembles toward the needle in the case and the dawning realization of what Giles has done, has chosen to do - and he bloodlessly tells her what the Cruciamentum is.

Her tiny little "Liar."

GOD WHY DIDN'T SHE GET AN EMMY (rhetorical we all know genre tv only matters if it was Game of Rapey Thrones)

"You will be safe now, I promise you." LIAR.

Another puncturing a heavy moment - Cordelia as cavalry - I love it. Cordelia taking the most obvious approach to the situation - 'oh Buffy might have lost her memory, well he's Giles,'

I can't believe they robbed us of a conversation in the car scene with Cordy and Buffy.

Kralik had to have found a polaroid camera and a metallic sharpie for this whole scenario -- OH I KNOW WHO HE REMINDS ME OF. The Night Stalker and any number of serial killers that terrorized SoCal. Is the show being self-aware of the problem with mothers and parents in general?

Probably a glib accident.

I don't have much to say about the part where Buffy hunts Kralik because it's so masterfully done with the atmosphere and music.

Nice of Giles's backbone to enter the chat now.

This is not business. Ooo.

Buffy's "I thought I killed a man" emo overalls!

Like it's shadowy, but there's still enough light to see facial expressions. Lighting guy, I salute you.

Little red riding hood metaphor. Oh, that's so her stunt double.

CREEPY SEXUAL VIOLENCE REARS ITS DEFORMED HEAD AGAIN

Jump stair scare. I remember the first time I saw it, I jolted in the living room.

Serial Killer Shit. Why are vampires such drama queens?

THAT'S RIGHT, BUFFY DID THAT

The ending scene in the library is cathartic in that Buffy gets to stand up for herself finally, and recognizes what Giles gives up by helping her, delayed as it was, also there's the feeling of hate punching Quentin Travers via your eyes.

Still don't think she should have forgiven Giles so easily, but we don't get to see a lot of aftercare for Buffy when she gets hurt, and it is a very tender scene.

The Scoobies are being way too upbeat if they knew about the fact that Giles poisoned Buffy, which is why I'm assuming she told a very abbreviated version of events ending with Buffy killed the bad guy and Giles got fired, oops.

Xander's big strong man comment and then looking immediately to Willow to open the jar and not Oz...

I could watch this episode again with episode commentary from David Fury, but another day.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Joey Donner

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- It was a little known fact that nearly every girl in your school wanted to date or at least screw Joey Donner. You were no exception but at least you could tell he was a total ass and didn’t actually try to get with him.

- You acted uninterested, convinced yourself at times that you were uninterested yet deep down you knew you secretly were attracted to him even if it was just the surface you were attracted to.

- But you’re disinterest is what drew Joeys attention to you in the first place. As everyone else swooned you completely ignored him and talked to “losers” instead, hiding away from attention and for the most part wearing clothes which left nearly everything to the imagination. Though to be fair, you woke up at five in the morning and stayed in school till two; frankly you just weren’t in the mood for heels.

- He wasn’t entirely compelled just by that. No, his real interest towards you started when a friend of yours decided to give you a makeover and plead with you to try it out for a week just to see what would happen. Since you were equally curious you gave it a try, even though you knew it was going to be a hassle.

- Thats why early one morning you arrived at school dressed in a v-neck top, a tight skirt, heels, hair perfectly done and more makeup than usual. To say he was enticed would be an understatement.

- “Had you always been so hot?” Was a common question among your peers but most didn’t even realize it was you until halfway through the day. Even Cameron and Michael; your friends, were having trouble not staring at your cleavage. Boys were swarming you to say the least.

- It was kind of fucked up to have the same people who made fun of you throughout middle school and high school now open doors and pull out chairs for you.

- You and Joey were lab partners so to an extent you were forced to interact for at least a good ten minutes a day. A lot of girls were jealous of you for this exact reason but you didn’t pay them any mind.

- It was when you were sat at your desk pulling on gloves to cut open frogs that Joey actually got his first look at you, well, the new you. He genuinely thought you were transferred and a new girl was sitting in your place. Sure he thought you were good looking before but every girl looks a bit better with makeup and some tight clothes, at least to guys like him.

- He slowly sat down next to you, eyes trained on your face and body as he went. You paid him no mind as you wrote down your notes and got to work. He sat there staring at you for a few moments before shaking his head and getting a hold of himself. He couldn’t actually get with a “loser” like you; it would ruin his reputation.

- He was bewildered when he found himself actually starting to like you. You, the girl who was a nobody, the girl that half the school didn’t know existed and the girl that, regardless of all that, still didn’t like him. You were weirdly endearing for it; hot even. He actually had to work to gain your attention.

- Joey doesn’t really know how to go after girls that he doesn’t have leverage on. Like if a girl likes him it’s easy to score with her but what does he do if they seem to hate his guts?

- He tried flirting, complimenting you and being sweet before he asked you out for the first time. You rejected him, quite brutally might he add and so he had to take a different plan of action. His second plan was to annoy the hell out of you, getting you riled up so that you’d give him the attention he wanted from you, even if it was given to him with a glare.

- After an especially rough week with him borderline bullying you he made the mistake of asking you out again. That’s how you and him got into an insult match in an empty hallway of the school after classes ended.

- A moment of stillness came over the two of you after a particularly heated exchange of words. When all of a sudden his hands were cupping your cheeks and your lips were smashing together.

- It was rough, passionate, heated. You didn’t exactly know why it was happening but to hell if you weren’t enjoying it. So long story short you ended up making out with the cocky most popular guy in the school who only moments before you were calling a pompous ass.

- When you came to your senses you realized he had you pinned against the wall and was thoroughly enjoying himself. The two of you pulled apart to catch your breath and were silent for a while, still close in proximity. Both of you leaned in and shared a much tamer kiss before he spoke.

“I’m an asshole, I get it, but that was great and you can’t deny it, alright? There’s something between us and you know it so why don’t we see how this plays out. Let me take you out and make everyone in this town jealous that I have you.”

- Well maybe it was worth a shot, right? You pulled him into another kiss which he smiled into like a giddy fool even if he wouldn’t ever admit it.

- So that’s how you became the hottest couple in school and started living out the dreams of all your classmates.

- He has a major soft spot for you.

- He’s really cuddly when you’re alone. He’s like a totally different person.

- Lots of gifts and dates people your age shouldn’t be able to afford.

- Being backstage at his modeling and commercial jobs.

- He’s jealous as hell, he hates boys looking at you but at the same time loves it because he’s a smug asshole. It makes him proud that people want what only he has.

- He’s lowkey possessive.

- You have to wear his jacket in classes you don’t have with him.

- Hickeys and constant pda.

- When he’s bored he tends to write his name on your skin. At some point he’ll get you a necklace with his name on it and a ring for himself that has yours engraved on it. He probably wouldn’t even tell you about his ring, you’d just notice it for yourself one day and get a little misty eyed.

- He’ll randomly grab a part of your body and start drawing on it. He reserves dicks for other people though.

- Once you’re in his car he’s eating your face. His lips are on yours and they aren’t letting up until they get their fill.

- He likes to grab your face and pull you into kisses.

- His arm is constantly wrapped around your shoulders or waist.

- You’re on his lap like 90% of the time.

- Even though he’s got a big ego, he actually gets pretty flustered when you compliment him on things other than his looks. He doesn’t know how to react at first but he tries his best to play it off and act cool.

- Someway, somehow, you’re incorporated into his workouts whether it be you sitting on his back or underneath him during pushups or you being used as a bench press. It makes things more entertaining for him and lets him show off.

- I feel like his household was the kind where money substituted actual relationships so this boy is probably hella attention starved. The first time you showed him innocent affection he was kinda confused.

“What are you doing?”

“Loving you.”

“...alright.”

- He’s an asshole but it’s somehow endearing?

- Anyone who comes close to bothering you is getting his ass kicked either by him or someone he’s paid to do so.

- He’s a pretty demanding person, he wants your attention, affection, anything you can give him. You’re basically inseparable.

- Hugs from behind with his head resting on your shoulder.

- He’s a sexual guy and proud of it so undoubtedly sex will be a part of your relationship.

- It gets him all hot and bothered when you wear his clothes.

- Him “accidentally” touching your boobs and butt. Just blatant groping yet he’ll probably apologize like it was a mistake.

- Wearing one of his rings, most likely on a chain around your neck.

- Flowers and cute but ‘macho’ notes.

- Fighting usually ends up being his fault because he’s a cocky bastard and won’t ever admit he’s wrong. It also doesn’t help that he thinks he can do whatever he wants.

- You tend to give him the cold shoulder. It annoys the everloving fuck out of him because he’s only just now gotten used to and started to rely on your affection. When you’re not giving it to him there’s a lot of tension and stress in his life. People in school suffer since he takes out all his annoyance on them.

- After a little while he’ll man up and apologize, holding out his arms for a hug once he’s finished. He both smugly smile and melts like butter when you wrap your arms around him.

- If you massage his scalp he’ll turn to putty in your hands.

- Skincare with him. Masks, creams, etc; he probably pampers himself more than you do.

- Likes laying his head in your lap and having you read to him.

- Your teachers love you since you tame him in the classes you share with each other.

- Getting him to stop picking on people.

- Helping him with schoolwork. He’s not dumb he just lacks the motivation and focus to actually go through with and finish his assignments.

- He tries his best to calm down with his drinking and partying because he knows you hate when he’s drunk.

- He likes randomly picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder.

- Pestering you is a game he’s good at and one he enjoys.

- His parents probably like you fine enough but your parents probably don’t like him. Not many parents would unless perhaps you just show your mother a picture of him.

- He’s definitely attempted to bribe your teachers into putting you guys in the same classes, teams, and lab groups.

- When he’s alone and actually tries to do well he can be pretty good at drawing.

- If you mention that you like a certain kind of shirt on him he’ll magically own like a dozen more over night.

- He really likes when you gush over and compliment him. It gives him the confidence that he really didn’t need but greatly appreciates. Or maybe it’s just a boost to his already inflated ego.

- Whenever you’re cold all you have to do is snuggle into him, he’s like a human heater and is all smiles when you randomly bury yourself into his chest.

- No one is allowed to interrupt the two of you at lunch without a proper reason unless they want to be made a fool of in front of everybody.

- He has a hard time saying he loves you because he wants to keep up his tough guy reputation but his heart swells everytime you say it. Deep down you know he does.

- You’re the power couple of the school.

[dreamiesdotcom]

[9:41] Jeno, it seemed, was a weakness to many. Your mom adores him as much as his adored you, if not more. Your dad likes the types of him, responsible with a clear future ahead of them. He's your parents dream — kind, calm, collected, serious and basically just knew his shit. Sometimes it hurts your ears when they preach about how good of a student you've become after you started hanging out, but it feels nice to be praised even just indirectly.

Maybe that's why they're more than delightful when he picks you up to come over at his apartment to study, or whenever he drops by, books in hand with that smile on his face to review or do your homeworks together. Maybe that's also the reason why the sight of Jeno in your dinner table was nothing new — your home is almost a second home to him, as much as his childhood home and his current apartment was to you. He grew so comfortable with your parents that he jokes around with them, making conversations and occasionally ganging up onto teasing you as you smirk amusedly at their antics.

You loved dinners with your parents, especially with Jeno. You always look forward to what dish is prepared and what new shit that you did in the past they just dug up to not let you live, you think it's adorable that they spend time on that even despite their busy schedules. So, tonight, your parents are quite concerned with the emotionless expression you're sporting and your monotonous voice — you loved dinners, no night was ever complete without your amused smirks and snarky remarks, but tonight feels so strangely different.

Your mom had just been promoted and she organized a dinner with your aunt and set up a little camp for later outside the house, just for the fun of it and catching up. You feel bad for acting this way, especially on such a night, so you try your best to muster up a convincing smile, muttering something about you being a little overwhelmed. They all smile at how adorable you are, and you kick at Jeno's foot from under the table — you can almost hear his internal monologue about how much of a liar you are, your obvious odd actions not going unnoticed and you can feel that he's way too entertained with your behavior.

It's not fun nor funny, you think. It's really not — not with your cousin's blatant staring and checking out, constant touching, lingering her fingers too long on Jeno's arms and the flirty remarks she continues to spit out. No one seemed to be bothered by it but you, not even Jeno, but the thing is no one is really supposed to be bothered by it because you're the only one dating him and nobody inside this room knew.

Years ago when you two started dating, you turned it into a little game of who knows first and last inside your circle. You weren't subtle, but you most definitely wasn't into PDA and you couldn't blame anyone if they took too long. Only the occasional hand holding were the new thing and even way before you started seeing each other, Jeno is still affectionate and gentle. Even if you couldn't blame anyone, you were quite disappointed when it took Renjun two weeks to confront the two of you, Mark and Donghyuck a whole month and it was quite a pain when the others knew about the game and the relationship.

Your parents, however, didn't catch up to any of it. They didn't say a thing when Jeno's mom walked in his apartment on the two of you getting cozy and falling asleep cuddling, and your parents didn't question anything whenever Jeno comes up at random times to pick you up and send you home several hours later. They seemed oblivious to all the romance that happened the past years and it just went on and on that you two don't know how to bring it up anymore — with how you're feeling right now, that might just change.

The room is dimly lit and Jeno's mild minty fragrance is mixing with the vanilla scented sheets, his black clothing contrasting harshly against the soft bed sheets and the silk and velvet pillow accents, but it's such a sight — his blissful expression and the way he takes in your figure, the edges of his shirt he helped you changed into a while ago after clumsily dumping water on yourself — you remember the questioning look he gives you for choosing the shirt he left some nights before despite a whole variety of clothes in your dresser. His gaze is intense and possessive but still concerned, warm hands encircling your waist and you had to suppress a whine.

The look on Jeno's face was soft and adorable, the glint on his eyes could be compared to a child inside a candy store. Still, with the current position the two of you are in right now, it is given away that his innocence is feigned and you saw him as anything else but a child. You loved this. You love how he is much bigger and stronger and he could flip you off, but he gives you the illusion of control because he understands how you're probably feeling right now. Normally, it's Jeno who plays the jealous role in the relationship and it rarely even ever happens — Jeno, even though it seemed otherwise, is good at controlling his temper and knows which situation is appropriate for jealousy, and he knows that even though this is not exactly the place and time to talk about this, you have every right to.

"What happened to you?" was the words that broke the silence between the two of you and you grit your teeth. You don't want to talk, but you so badly want to let him know so you settle with trying to kiss him harshly, to where he declines you. Your heart breaks and you hit his chest weakly, "She's into you. Fuck, she's into you, Jen, and you're supposed to be mine."

"Woah, calm down, Y/N. You know I'm not doing it on purpose, right?" he looks at you, confused and still concerned, "I was just trying to be polite, she's still your family — I only have my eyes on you, baby."

She's your cousin and you know her, when you say she gets everything she wants, you mean it. Whether it was the smallest of things or your most prized possessions, she gets it and you understand why. She's the favorite and you're not. You're so used to being the option and her being the choice that you tend to go too far with the mindset, thus, making you break down when he denies you of what you need and the thoughts of how she probably already had Jeno invades your mind like poison.

"I don't care, you're supposed to be mine," you sob. He tries to hush you down, going as far as reminding you of the people downstairs and only when the other repeated your claims on him did you calm down.

"I'm yours. You know I'm yours," he says in a hushed tone, easing your sobbing by comforting hands on your back. He meets your lips with a kiss, a more chaste one this time, and you sigh in both gratefulness and satisfaction. This feels right. This is right. Jeno smiles at you, probably at how eager you are with a hand clutching his shirt and another messing with his hair, and he voices his amusement when he parts, "You're so adorable, Y/N."

"It's not funny!" you pout, pinching his sides lightly, just enough to make him giggle but not enough for it to hurt. Still, he makes a show of watching you intently with his head tilted to the side a little bit, pulling you closer by the waist and you keen at the attention. He's so focused in you and you feel so pretty, a little shy but you love that too. Jeno groans lowly, "Fuck, I love you so much."

Jeno rarely curses and when he does, he's most definitely serious — be it seriously angry or just to punctuate his point. He's not the purest, but he knows with who, when and where is the appropriate situation for such profanities and damn does it do things to you. He laughs at the sound you made, something close to a whine and he tackles you down quickly to nibble on your neck as he tickles your sides, muffled comments about you being "naughty" and "inappropriate".

The door closes as soon as it opens and you hear a shriek, making you and Jeno laugh in addition to his "shit, we've been discovered" which he very unsubtly muttered under his breathe. You giggle as the two of you run to the door, being greeted by your cousin's horrified expression and honestly, you've never been more satisfied to see her face, "Why?" you ask her.

"T-the fire… I mean the camp fire," she stutters, "It's done."

Jeno just offers her a curt nod and you try your best to smile at her and reply with "Oh, okay, sure. We'll be there in a bit!" because even though you hate her guts, she's unfortunately your cousin and your mother loves her for some unknown reason. Still, you can't help but feel annoyed at how she's still staring at the two of you, "Why? Why are you staring?"

She shakes her head and walks away with a groan. Only then did you realized that you look unnaturally disheveled from the previous tickling session, but from her eyes, you're sure she thought it was a whole different thing — especially if she caught the sight of Jeno mouthing at your neck. Scandalous. You know. You'll be the first to say that. You just wish she doesn't act like the stuck-up, uncontrollable mouth she is and talk about what she witnessed in front of your whole family — you don't want your parents to know about the two of you that way. (She doesn't.)

You look at Jeno who just shrugs, sporting the widest grin on his face and you can't help but mirror his expression, only to crack up laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. Oh well. You're bound to tell your parents about your relationship either way, and at least she won't flirt with Jeno for the rest of the night, right? (She still did, by the way.)

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XLIII

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Being Useful for You

(9x09)

Hello My Friends? Are you enjoying this hiatus and the Holidays???

Here I am with a new meta from this series, this time I'm gonna talk exclusively of episode 9x09 Holy Terror. The Destiel scene here is a classic one, full of flirtation, had been analyzed a hundred of times, so it will be a hundred and one! 🤣🤣

I want to say thank you to my friend @agusvedder she made all the gifs for this meta and discussed the episode with me, thank you my dear! 😍💕

Now, let's began.

Let it shine

When the episode starts... There's this faction of the angels coming into a bar for a fight with Malaqui's angels.

The nuns were singing...

♪ This little light of mine ♪

♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪

♪ this little light of mine ♪

♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪

♪ this little light of mine ♪

♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪

♪ let it shine, let it shine, let it shine ♪

Which is a prelude to Castiel recovering his angel's powers.

But then, inside the bar... The rebels angels, anarchists, were listening this song...

you got a nasty disposition ♪

♪ no one really knows the reason why ♪

♪ you got a bad, bad reputation ♪

♪ gonna hang your head down and cry ♪

♪ you got bad, bad luck ♪

♪ bad, bad luck ♪

♪ you got bad, bad luck ♪

Again this is talking about Castiel, like that bad one between the angels. The one with the bad reputation.

And is not casualty Cas will take the grace from one of the rebels. Because his rebellious nature.

Flirting in front of Sam

When they arrived to the bar, Dean and Sam found Cas already investigating as an FBI agent.

And because Sam was ignoring the whole "Zeke" situation, he saw Cas working and it was fun for him, feeling all proud, he went with the river.

But Dean wasn't amused. He knew the whole angels want to kill Cas issue, so he knew Cas won't be safe.

But... There was a really blatant flirty situation between Human Cas and Dean.

Castiel was a little drunk, because it was his first time doing that, I think he repeated that like twice, and a very easy going fluidity of words and second meanings.

Let's see ...

CASTIEL: It is so good being together again. You know, this is my first beer as a human. I hope it's okay, me joining you?

SAM: Why wouldn't it be okay?

DEAN (looks alarmed at this turn of the conversation) You know, Cas, are you sure you're ready to jump back into all this? I mean, it seemed to me like you'd actually found some peace.

CASTIEL: Hey, you once told me that you don't choose what you do. It chooses you.

DEAN: Huh?

Dear is still his role model, and more now that he's a human.... But the flirtation starts with a suggestive movement coming from Castiel. He had lived a couple of flirty situations with Dean in episode 9x06, even if he's kind of innocent, he is not that innocent when is about seduction, as I said so many times, he knows about seduction, and maybe he could notice some of these in Dean when he came alone to see him in the Gas n sip. And then in the car. So he knows... Now there's not boundaries between them. They're both humans... So... A little of alcohol and he went for it...

Look at Castiel's eyes and head movement, he also caressed his bottle gently, with a seductive gaze, he know perfectly what he is doing.

SAM: All right, well, then, in that case, we have to figure out, uh, who are we up against, what do they want, and how do we stop them.

CASTIEL: Well, Bartholomew wants to reverse Metatron's spell. Presumably to – to retake Heaven once his following is large enough. (...)

Wow... Here. Castiel had lived the fact that Dean had been jealous about Nora, so, why not try jealousy again? Yeah, let's mention this reaper... So Dean picked up that ball quickly.

The reaper you banged well that was kind of hard, and not with a buddy face of approval there... He looks mad, and jealous. Yeah, the reaper you banged, is like a jilted Lover recriminating a betrayal to his lover.

And Cas responds... Yeah, and you stabbed.

And his face is like YEAH, YOU WAS JEALOUS.

We all know Dean killed her because he killed Cas. But the tone of the conversation takes another context because their faces. Is like they're playing there to change the cause of April's death. You stabbed her because I had sex with her and you was jealous of her.

Tasting very dangerous waters... Dean redirect the chat to how hot she was.

Dean is the one who replaces the gay tension, to the straight safe place. And Castiel follows him. Because he is not unaware of this. He knows exactly what Dean is trying to do. And when Castiel does that, Dean comes back again to openly flirt with him.

That's a very suggestive gaze, and line, and everything, he even smiled at him with the tongue between his teeth, looking adorable, he know he looks adorable doing that, and I'm pretty sure he uses to seduce. Even the touch in the shoulder, everything here is pure flirtation my friends... And Sam was there... Pure thrid wheel soul looking at them in awe, how they're doing that at sunlight.

Then he will try to be a good brother, and leave them alone, but my sweet Cas didn't pick up that intention... And he will offer himself to go for more beers.

SAM (smiling at the exchange)

All right. I'm gonna get us another round.

CASTIEL: Nah. I'll get it.

CASTIEL hops off his bar stool, then returns.

Mm. (swigging the last of his old beer, and setting the bottle on the table.)

You know, I've never done this before.

And that line again, he is too cute. But what Cas, you had never flirted so openly with Dean? 🤣🤣🤣

Cas' prayer

But not everything was fun, because we had right there our official cockblocker, Gadriel.

So, is goodbye again.

Castiel is by himself and he decided to give a try to the pray.

If you recall in episode 9x03 Castiel went to a Church and he found a woman that talked about what faith meant to humans. Well he tries to use some of that, trying to contact other angels to get some info about the case.

That scene of Castiel praying in different postures was delightful. Trying to use what he learned, being human again. He even asked to himself if he's doing it properly.

When he was captured by Malaqui, he uses his strategy again. Malaqui names him like THE GREAT CASTIEL, and he is indeed. His innate soldier flaws again, and he was able to steal grace and scape from their captures. Not just that, but he killed all the angels in that place.

Why he decided to take Theo's grace and came back to the game like an angel? Because he heard Ezequiel was dead. And again Sam and Dean were in danger. And he felt he wasn't useful in his shape as a human. He thought maybe Dean was trying to protect him because he thought he wasn't useful like that. So he wanted to be useful.

I did what I had to

I will talk about this quote in another volume because it repeats all over season 9, and twice in this episode, first Theo and then Castiel.

But, let's come back to the fact that Castiel took a stolen grace (in one of the most sexy scenes I ever saw... Well... Is Misha, he makes everything hot) because he wanted to save Sam and Dean, to be useful to the battle. And he felt he would be more useful as an angel.

So, he called Dean by the phone (pointing Cas knows Dean's number) and we had this sad conversation...

CASTIEL (on the phone) Dean, I don't have a lot of time, so listen. The leader of the opposition is an angel named Malachi.

DEAN: How do you know that?

The concern is all over Dean's voice, he needs to know because he knows this case was very dangerous for Castiel, and he feels guilty for leaving him alone. Even if he knows Cas is strong, his protective nature can't handle the fact he failed to his friend in protecting him.

CASTIEL: He had me. I, uh, I was tortured. But I got away.

DEAN: How?

CASTIEL: I... I did what I had to. I became what they've become. A barbarian.

Here is the quote, is the mission, for the mission, he became a barbarian.

DEAN: What are you – Cas, where are you?

Dean is sensing Castiel is making bad decisions again, he thinks because he wants to help angels, but the truly reason why is HIM AND SAM.

CASTIEL: It's better I stay away. They're gonna want me even more now. But I'm gonna be all right. I... I got my Grace back. Well, not mine per se, but it'll do.

This is it. Cas is an angel again. Dean and Cas know they're in war, but... They had began something... Now the boundaries between them are here again... So is kind of frustrating...

Castiel smiles... The mojo is so Dean, to describe his grace. Yes is sad because they will be separated by that difference, but is necessary...

When Cas says I'm an angel, Dean asks immediately : And you are okay with that?

Because, what would be nice for Cas being a human? He suffered a lot, he doesn't even had a place, or his own bed. Why on Earth Dean was thinking Cas was feeling great as a human? He is not talking about those things, at all, he knows Cas was not having a great life, or great human experience. Then why Dean is asking this? Because of them. Him and Cas. It was obvious they were free, to do, say or even flirt with each other, and that felt good. The easy going, because they were both humans, not boundaries between them. Because both of them knew this. Even with that cockblocker and being apart, maybe Dean was thinking it wouldn't be for ever and eventually, Cas will be living in the bunker with them and maybe... Just maybe... They could be finally together.

So... Because they felt that thing between them, so real now that Cas was a human, so reachable... Why now to choose to be an angel again? Right. War. Mission. That's the way Cas thinks. Goodbye opportunity...

Then, Dean was about to say something... Something we will never know, because Castiel cut him off, I know this is frustrating, but the way Dean says CAS, it could be something coming from his frustrated and concerned heart.

And Cas ... He needed to be useful for Dean. For his mission.

To Conclude:

Castiel and Dean kept flirting. Cas being a human, without boundaries, knowing Dean had flirted with him in episode 9x03, decides to do the same, Dean doesn't stays back, and flirted with him too in front of Sam.

Castiel decided to get back to the game as an angel when he hears Dean and Sam were in danger. He also felt he wasn't useful for Dean, because he rejected him twice, so maybe for this war, he needed to come back powerful like an angel.

I hope you like this meta, I'll see you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester

If you want to be tagged, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas from season 9, here are the links...

Vol. XL; Vol. XLI, Vol. XLII

Buenos Aires December 23rd 2019 9:32 PM

[monotonous-minutia]

So I weirdly actually did a thing I said I was going to do.

Here’s a handy dandy list of Nozze productions to avoid if you, like me, love Cherubino, and believe he is a precious sunflower that needs to be protected at all costs.

After watching about 20 productions of this opera (though not all of them in full) I have compiled the following list.

Truncated because it got pretty long:

*Some of what is written here is subjective so I apologize if I end up disparaging a production you’ve seen and enjoyed. But I tried to stay objective and focus on the specific details that made the production safe or not for Cherubino.

**If you’re morbidly curious and want to know what, exactly, goes on in the first two listed here, perhaps message me first to ask before seeking them out to see for yourself, to prepare.

Salzburg 2006

Do not watch this one.

It’s weird, disturbing, and borderline sadistic. I can appreciate odd productions if they look at operas in new ways, try a different take, or magnify certain elements to bring in a fresh perspective. This production does none of that. It’s just weirdly disturbing for no apparent or forgivable reasons. I’ve spent a decent amount of time searching for answers on this one but none of the critiques I’ve found have any clue what this is supposed to be, so whatever the director was trying to say, their attempts failed miserably and left an atrocity in their wake. EVERYONE in this damn thing (except Cherubino) is a freaking asshole, the set is minimalist to the point of being irrelevant and confusing, and there’s this weird, winged Cherubino look-alike going around controlling people like puppets and making them do weird dance moves during their numbers. Obviously this director did not know how to embrace the concept that some people can just stand still while they’re talking or singing. Also, people hardly ever make eye contact and it’s unnerving, like they’re all zombies. There are a lot of other small, weird details that just keep building to make this thing a terrible production overall. The worst thing about it is poor sweet Cherubino. He’s an innocent, delicate flower that’s abused by everyone in unbearable ways. I don’t even want to go into it. I beseech you not to watch this because it’s honestly kind of traumatizing. Just pretend this one doesn’t exist and you’ll be okay. 

Redeeming factors: absolutely none. Cherubino is adorable and too pure for this world but that just makes the whole thing ten times worse because of all the terrible, terrible things that happen to him.

Dutch National Opera 2016

Proceed with caution for this one. It’s a shame because the production itself is pretty decent, and Susanna and the Contessa are great. The set is interesting—versatile, rotating, lots of doors that are utilized in interesting ways. It’s mostly portraying the somewhat-empty house that the cast is moving into it (at least that’s what I gathered). Reasons to avoid: Figaro is an asshole, the Count is downright gross, and Cherubino is treated terribly by almost everyone (except the Contessa and Susanna, bless them). The only part I like is the Act 2 scene between the three of them where they are all very sweet to each other and Cherubino is delighted to dress up and the kindness he’s shown here by the ladies makes up for some of the other things that happen. The worst stuff I won’t get into; I can’t talk about it without getting super upset. In general, Cherubino is terrorized by the Count on multiple occasions (physically threatened, punched, and thrown around), Figaro is super mean to him, and he doesn’t really get any closure at the end except that Barbarina dotes on him and he clearly loves her so we can imagine that he’ll be okay. It is a joy to watch him being super awkward, dreamy, and cheeky; I just wish he’d been given a better production.

My recommendation for this one, if you do want to watch it, is skip “Non piu andrai” and go right to Act II, although there’s one aspect that’s hard to explain without seeing that. For now let’s just say: there’s a reason Cherubino is wearing a beanie at the top of the second act, and it’s Figaro’s fault. You don’t need to know what else happens. (My rec: skip forward like ten minutes after the last recit, then seek backwards until you see Susanna sitting on a crate holding a remote which is the start of Act II. That way you don’t have to see the scene even in fast-motion.) At any rate please don’t watch that scene. I want to find the person who staged it and punch them. The rest is bearable; just be warned, it’s not fun or pretty.

Honesty hour: Figaro is mean enough too that I want Susanna and Rosina to run off together and just marry each other because their chemistry here is amazing. And take Cherubino with them and keep him safe and loved forever.

Redeeming factors: Interesting set, great leading ladies, insanely adorable Cherubino, and also it’s insinuated that the Contessa actually leaves Almaviva at the end; she even threatens him with his own hunting rifle and everyone else just watches in morbid fascination. She does put the gun down at the last second, but she doesn’t go to him after, so maybe he gets kicked out. We can only hope.

Salzburg 2015

Tbh this one’s just weird and probably not worth your time anyway. The set looks like the wall of the house was cut off so we can see all the rooms inside, upstairs and downstairs, at the same time. It’s an interesting device showing how all of the scenes interact, but it’s no utilized very well. There’s so much business in multiple rooms at one time that it’s hard to focus on the people who are talking and singing at the moment. The cast is mediocre. We get Pisaroni as the Count which should have been worthwhile but isn’t because of the weirdness of the production. It’s honestly hard to tell what or who anyone is supposed to be here. Plus there’s blatant abuse from the Count to the Contessa and it’s hard to watch especially because I’m more used to a huggable Luca and this doesn’t do him justice imo. Additionally, I typically stan gay Basilio, but here he’s got a thing for Cherubino, and Cherubino is super not into it so it just comes across as gross. Mostly Cherubino is just pushed to the sidelines (the Count literally locks him into the closet for most of the end of the first act). So it really minimizes his character in general and is disappointing to Cherubino fans.

Redeeming factors: Susanna is really cute, Figaro is nice, “Non piu andrai” is not sadistic, but this is mostly because everyone leaves the room when he starts singing it so he’s just talking to himself which is weird anyway. At least there is nothing Unspeakable although I do wish I could wipe this Basilio out of my brain. Also Margarita Gritskova as Cherubino being dapper and sweet and I’d say Pisaroni but I’m not a fan of him being the mean old Count when he should be playing those sweet Rossini baritone roles.

Salzburg 1995

Susan Graham is Cherubino and she’s super adorable, although she’s taller than almost everyone else which is awkward and amusing. However everyone is VERY mean to Cherubino. Even Susanna. He gets thrown around a lot which is just sad to watch. The production overall is kind of unremarkable and the picture/sound quality isn’t great either. Watchable but just be prepared for an annoying amount of meanness from characters who should be a lot nicer.

Redeeming factors: Susan Graham is amazing and adorable. That’s pretty much it. Someone tell me what is up with Salzburg and this opera, seriously.

Royal Opera House 2006

This Cherubino is a precious duckling who gets thrown around by everyone, especially Figaro, which is super sad. Honestly so many of these are ruining the character of Figaro for me. This one is watchable and decent except for Mean Figaro. The set is elaborate and detailed but sometimes the background action with the supers gets distracting. The rest of the cast is alright but I wish they would be nicer to Cherubino who hasn’t done one single thing to warrant the abuse. I recommend avoiding it for those reasons but it’s not as bad as some of the others.

Redeeming factors: Intricate, pretty set, Dorothea Röschmann being an adorable Contessa, and Cherubino being gawky and cute.

To balance out the depressingness here are some Nozzes that I highly recommend!

Garsington 2017

My absolute favorite, a pure delight. Though there are no big names here, the entire cast is amazing. The set is glorious, detailed without being distracting, super versatile to fit all the scenes, and the final act is actually in a garden and it’s just so PRETTY. The chemistry between Figaro and Susanna is lovely; they obviously adore each other and are a great team throughout all their plots. The Count is reasonably dislikable without being detestable, so the apology at the end is actually kind of believable (though it’s hard to pull off in general). He and the Contessa actually have an interesting dynamic so you can kind of see how they might make things work in the end (some of their arguments are more banter-y than mean and they actually make out briefly in “Susanna, or via, sortite” as if they’re kind of turned on by each other’s fury). The supporting cast is great too, full of personality and mischief. The staging is lighthearted, genuine, and intricate. THIS is what a Nozze should be! Cherubino is adorable, cheeky, super loveable, a SHAMELESS flirt, and best of all everyone loves him (except the Count obviously). Figaro is really nice to him too and “Non piu andrai” is really cute because he and Susanna are teasing him the entire time but it NEVER gets mean and it’s honestly so refreshing. Highly recommend this one!

Met 1998

Featuring my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE CHERUBINO, the incomparable Susanne Mentzer, as well as my favorite Contessa ever, Renèe Fleming. I could talk about those two forever. They are both individually fantastic and their collaboration is amazing. I died, to be honest. Also features an amazing Susanna courtesy of Cecilia Bartoli and a simply adorable Danielle de Niesse as Barbarina. Figaro is pretty mean to Cherubino especially during “Non piu andrai” (seriously what is it with directors and this number) but it’s nothing compared to so many others so it’s watchable especially because Mentzer is fantastic and she steals the entire scene without even saying anything because she’s amazing. Her Cherubino is just the sweetest, sassiest, most adorable, energetic, and expressive Cherubino ever to bless the operatic stage. She’s exactly what Cherubino should be in every way and the production fully supports it. Watching the entire Cherubino-Susanna-Contessa scene in Act 2 is one of my favorite things in the world. The production itself is classic, detailed and true to the period, busy without being distracting, and the rest of the cast is good too.

Liege 2018

A very cute production featuring a super sweet Figaro who teases Cherubino but is not mean to him. Cherubino is sassy and endearing and very much the flirt with every lady in sight, and is pretty popular among them. The rest of the cast is good too and we get a particularly sassy Susanna (whose chemistry with the Contessa is lovely). The set is simple but very pretty. Another lighthearted, sweet, and genuine portrayal that stays true to the heart of this opera.

Glyndebourne 1973

A classic; lots of familiar names, lush period set/costumes, and staging that’s simple but effective. Featuring the insanely adorable Frederica von Stade as Cherubino. Her smile melts my heart every time. A mostly nice Figaro and great leading ladies.

Obviously there are way more productions out there, and I’ve watched more than this, but these are the ones that to me are most noteworthy from one end of the scale or the other.

This list may get longer as I watch more, but I think I’m going to take a break from Nozze for a little bit (or more likely just re-watch the Garsington one and Mentzer’s Cherubino over and over again).

[fe-husband-heaven]

fluff with dimitri except we're married to him?

Phewww! I wrote something a little lengthy hee hee

but i couldn't help it dndndn I loved married life asks so much, they're so cute! My hoe side for Dimitri shows up a little in this so pardon-

_________________________________________

“Dimitri.”

…Perhaps if I stay quiet…

“Dimitri...Dimitri, ignoring me won't make me relent.”

He sighed like he was giving up, but his grip around your waist only tightened.

“...Must I truly?”

“Yes, I'm sure Seteth will be quite cross if he finds out we've done nothing but laze about all day in bed.”

Dimitri made a displeased face, clearly not happy to relinquish the warmth of your body, or his bed.

Tangled together on the bed, the two of you were a mess of limbs and blankets. He very much preferred it this way, with you trapped nestled in his arms, and the sun filtering through the gaps of the blue curtains.

Laughing lightly at his expression, you playfully punched his shoulders, encouraging him to let you go. He did not,rather, in response, he buried his face in your hair, closed his eyes, and inhaled your scent blissfully.

“..Surely, there must be some rule against pulling the King from his spouse before twelve.” He murmured.

“Dimitri, It is noon.”

A pause.

“...Before two.”

You shook your head amusedly at his antics, and he reflexively pulled back a little when your hair tickled his chin. Taking advantage of this, you pressed a kiss to his lips before rolling out of his arms. Dimitri has an absolute death grip. Were he not a King with duties, you are quite sure he'd keep you locked in his hold, he had really come to love sleeping by your side.

He has told you before how he had been tormented at night by horrid nightmares. Sleep had become torturous, and he had begged for daylight to come sooner.

Now, he had someone to keep those very dreams away. Someone to thread their fingers through his hair and lull him into a peaceful rest. 

There were still times where we he awoke in a cold sweat, the abruptivity of the way he sat up would wake you as well. Without fail each time, he'd apologize for it instead of worrying about himself. He was still as selfless as ever and it only made you want to care for him more.

Dipping your knee a little into the bed, you tugged lightly at his arm, careful to stay just far enough away to escape if he tried to pull you back into bed before stepping away fully just to be sure.

"Alright, c'mon! You had plenty of fun last night, it's time we get to work!"

He flushed and a look of minuscule shock at your unflinching mention of something so intimate had him sputter a little.

"T-that's rather unfair, Y/N…I.."

He looked away, finding the white walls of the bedroom more interesting.

"..I should hope you also..um...e-enjoyed..Oh for goodness sake, I am King..!..Heavens, what would the people say if they saw their ruler blushing like a schoolboy…"

You struggled to hold back laughter at the image, especially when Mr.Blaiddyd grabbed a pillow to shove his face into, in hopes of hiding his reddening face. Though, the way his blush crawled to his ears, gave him away.

You sighed your laughter away, and relished in how relaxed he looked. How long it had been since he was given rest…The war had taken its toll before, during, and after.

The bed creaked under Dimitri when he finally decided to leave the comfort that was his bed. Now, it was your turn to turn a little red. He was toned, no doubt from the arduous battles he'd endured but it didn't make his abs any smaller…

He was also half dressed (Your doing) and the little clothing he did wear gave a tiny peek past his navel. His hair was an absolute mess but for whatever reason, it only added to your attraction.

If you squinted, you could almost see sparkles surrounding him-

"P-please stop staring."

It seemed Dimitri's day was to start with a constant stream of blood rushing to his cheeks. He was never good at handling blatant affection, let alone the unhidden gawking of the person he loves so much. Normally, he'd be nothing short of oblivious to other people's attraction but after having spent so much time by each others side, he knew you like the back of his hand.

He stood in front of you now, and you stepped forward to wrap your arms around him in a hug, your chin rested on his chest, you looked up at him, smiling.

"Oh? But what am I to do when my husband is the handsomest man in the land?"

His own arms found their way around your waist, a hug being his reward for getting out of bed.

"Handsomest? Oh, Y/N, you exaggerate, but thank you regardless."

"Uh, excuse me??"

Your sudden change in tone, surprised him a little, but his smile returned when he heard your next words, in the most sarcastic of tones.

"That's my husband you speak of, I shall allow no further defamation, hmph."

Dimitri laughed softly and craned his neck down for a kiss. His hand traveled to hold your cheek in place for it to last longer before he held your hands in his own.

"How is it that I always feel as though I were on top of the world when I'm with you…"

He was speaking more to himself, but his eyes were looking into your own, lovingly. If he could see just how lovestruck he appeared, he'd be embarrassed all over again but instead, his view was filled with you returning the same swooning look.

He was gently thumbing your knuckles now,  and coupled with his expression, it reminded you of the day you were wed.

He'd had that same absolutely adoring look, albeit he was a little more tearful laying his eyes upon his bride in white then than he was about his wife in pyjamas now...Regardless! He had held your hands in the same fashion, surrounded by the cheers of his old classmates and the whistles of Sylvain, he thumbed your gloved hands and wished the priest would simply hurry so he could kiss you already.

It had been a grandiose event, blues, golds, and a crying Dedue (the best man) adorned the reception. Ashe had assisted Dedue in cooking for the wedding guests, Duscur's finest dishes were served that day. Alois had prepared a toast full of corny jokes that had Dimitri bellowing in laughter and Felix scowling in disapproval. Mercedes and Annette had done their absolute best to doll you up and they had their own fit of crying when they saw their dear friend's finished look. 

Ingrid had helped organize most of it and yelled at Sylvain whenever necessary to get him back on track whenever tables were to be moved.

(Reminding him also that it was strictly FORBIDDEN to flirt with the bride)

Many of the old students originally from other houses visited as well. Petra had brought souvenirs from her homeland, Ignatz came with a promise to paint the new queen and king and gift them the piece as a wedding present, and Linhardt...well he fell asleep midway through but he came!

The night had been filled with merriment and it only got more chaotic when Claude had made his grand entrance, insisting that Dimitri simply must dance with the bride though Dimitri suspected he only wanted to see him squirm as he had not danced with anyone since before the war.

Manuela had gotten drunk alongside Hanneman which was a huge surprise until they started bickering even in their alcohol induced states…

The disorder was quelled when Professor Byleth threatened detention to his old students, and not a peep was heard thereafter other than Alois's bellowing laughter and mention that the professor never changes.

All in all, it was to be expected that a wedding with so many...ahem, colorful characters would also display the same amount of personality.

Even then, though the very view of you being lead down the aisle by Gilbert was imprinted on his mind for eternity, the moment when the festivities ended and he could have you all to himself was his most treasured memory of that night.

Away from everyone who wished to steal you away for a dance, he could at last be alone with you and revel in his beloved's company. 

You still tease him every now and then about how he fumbled in removing your dress before eventually tearing it with his monstrous strength but at that time he had certainly made up for it afterwards.

Regardless of his inexperience shining through beforehand, he still found the memory of your first time as husband and wife, precious.

Not much had changed since then other than Dimitri's upgrade from Boar Prince to Boar King but it seemed the honeymoon phase had yet to pass either of you if the way Dimitri's lips were once again being moved against your own was any indication.

For a moment, you thought you might have lost and he might just have gotten you back into that bed but a knock on the door interrupted the two of you.

"Y/N, Dimitri, I know you're in there! It is high past morning now, I have let you rest long enough. Your duties await you, your subjects will not rule themselves."

Seteth-

And an annoyed sounding Seteth too-

Perhaps it was the way you panicked but Dimitri was incentivised to scramble for his clothes when you started to.

Only for you to both trip when you heard Manuela walk by,

"Oh Seteth, leave them be. We have to have an heir to the throne eventually~"

[crimsonbluemoon]

Working For Love: A TerrorMoo Story 6/17

Ahhhh my lungs hate me. >.< But I hope to be better for tomorrow. Anyways, please enjoy this new installment! 

Previous Part

Start from the beginning

Brian was going to kill Luke.

“Why is he on the treadmills, anyways?” The sour tone he used didn’t hide any of his irritation at the scene playing out in front of him. Normally, getting to walk into his shift to see Brock there was a great way to start his day. Tyler had already given up on the expectation that the first twenty minutes of his time wouldn’t be spent saying hello to Brock and catching up on pointless conversation. It was the expectation now, and since Tyler had a habit of giving all of the harder clients to him, Brian felt he’d earned his time with Brock. So when he parked his car next to the toyota camry that he knew to be Brock’s, he had a bit more of a grin on his face walking into work.

But that quickly lost its shine when seeing Luke casually chit chatting with Brock on the treadmills. 

“You know he is allowed to work-out here, right? Same as all the other employees who work here.” Evan’s ability to point out useless information didn’t make any of Brian’s irritation drop, eyes narrowing at the laugh Brock let out over something the grinning asshole had said to him. 

“Tell your boyfriend to come get his lapdog,” Brian snapped out, glancing around as if expecting the idiot to appear on command.

“He’s not my boyfriend, and he can’t because he’s getting my oil changed.” Evan answered the question without embarrassment, eyes glued to his phone screen. He was probably texting Jonathan even as they talked about him.

“How are you two not fucking?” 

“Cause he won’t ask.” Years ago, when Evan and Jonathan first met after Luke got his trainer job at Tyler’s gym, talking about sex with a guy would have made him freak out. The gay awakening process between his co-worker had been painful but hilarious to be a part of. Brian had done his best to support and tease Evan through the whole thing. He had to admit that Evan choosing Jonathan’s fumbling, messy personality over Luke’s put together, flirty persona had been a swerve he hadn’t expected, but now it only made sense. Jonathan and Evan looked good as a pair, and their sexual chemistry (despite never having sex and only kissing when they got drunk) was off the charts. Fate seemed destined to put them together. 

It’d only take another twenty years for them to do something about it. 

“I have blue balls for you. Seeing you be so-” His rant cut off when Brock’s laugh entered the air again, making his head snap over to the treadmills. Brock’s cheeks were flushed, but it wasn’t from the cool down he was casually strolling through. It seemed to be from Luke, who didn’t understand that the arms of the machines were not meant to be crossed over when he leaned closer to Brock to say something. Brock had his shy aura still up, but he didn’t show any hint of anxiety at Luke’s closer proximity. 

Brian was going to lose his mind. 

“Hey, question.” Tyler didn’t notice (or maybe he didn’t care) about stepping in front of Brian’s view, blocking Luke’s blatant flirting with Brock. “What the fuck do I pay you two for? Because the spray bottles by the bikes are empty, and I see you two hanging out behind the counter like you’re jerking each other off.” 

“That’s Brian’s zone.” Evan threw him under the bus with no remorse, not even looking up from his phone. Brian normally would give a snarky remark, but the task would give him an excuse to walk by Brock and Luke. He practically leaped over the counter without explanation, rushing by the narrowed glare of Tyler.

“On it, boss.” 

“Why do I know that’s bullshit?” Tyler’s grumble was stratigically ignored by Brian when he scurried through the gym, feeling his shoes skid on the floor from how quickly he stopped in front of Brock and Luke. 

“Having fun?” He really sounded like a jealous boyfriend, if he gave the thought more than a second of his time. Naturally he didn’t, keeping his attention on the bright eyes now looking at him from the treadmill. Brock looked more happy than surprised, and the smile he gave helped push back some of the negative vines growing around Brian’s heart.

“Hey. You didn’t come say hi today, I was wondering what was up.” 

“You miss me?” He asked, hoping the tease of his tone would hide his own heart’s extra beat. Brock had come to expect him to visit, and having someone look forward to his greeting was nice. 

“Like sand in a desert.” But Luke ruined their wonderful moment by being witty and charismatic. Brock’s eyes left Brian to take in Luke’s side grin, a look that Brian himself liked to use to play up his charm. It was annoying and frustratingly good-looking on Luke, and Brian wanted to smother it with his own hands. “How come you never told him about my kickboxing class?”

“Because he didn’t ask,” Brian answered quickly, knowing too much of his annoyance showed by the arched eyebrow Luke sent back. Brock seemed more confused as the conversation continued, eyes flickering between them while staying quiet. 

“Haven’t seen around the bags lately, either. Too busy spending all your time in here, though I’m getting the feeling I know why.”

“Yeah, cause I can already beat you without the training.” It was a statement that really didn’t have any backing; Brian was in good shape, but Luke was a trained boxer and he’d never beaten him in a match. Luke’s snort of a laugh made Brian’s hackles rise and his frown set in, hands clenched in fists beside him.

“We could go right now, if you’re feeling ballsy. Might be a little embarrassing if I kick your ass in front of our new friend, though.” Brock wasn’t Luke’s friend. He’d only talked to him for a half hour, which meant he hadn’t even scratched the surface of Brock’s amazingness! There was so much to Brock that couldn’t be shoved into one little conversation. Brian had been talking with him for months now, and he still felt he’d barely scratched the surface. So for Luke to claim a friendship was just dumb. He wanted to say as much, too, but Brock finally found his voice and intervened. 

“Can I have my lesson today?” The blurt out didn’t seem thought out, if the look of horror that crashed over Brock’s face was any indication. Also, logic would claim that Brock asking for a private lesson after he already did his workout didn’t make sense. But like the stubborn man Brian had come to know (because he’d talk to him more than 30 minutes), Brock held his head high and kept his eyes on Brian’s face. “If you have time, I mean.” 

“I’d make time if I didn’t.” 

The comment was too honest, and he probably would get ribbed for it later when Luke told their group. He could already see his co-worker yanking his phone out to probably text the group chat about his lame reply. But Brock’s eyes widened slightly, not with embarrassment or fear, but a look of awe that made the corniness worth it. The back of his mind wondered if anyone in Brock’s past had put him first; he never did himself, and always looked so stunned at the smallest of favors Brian did for him. There was a softness in the face looking down at him from the treadmill that showed more than just surprise; it was naive gratitude. Like for some reason, Brock didn’t get that he deserved to be put first. 

“You got something in mind?” Brian asked, and it took Brock a moment to pull out of his reverie and glance away. 

“I didn’t know if you had any other yoga poses that helped out with anxiety. I tend to have a lot of that, and… it just seemed to help.” Brian grinned at Brock’s sudden shyness, something he only seemed to really pull out around him. It made their moments feel more special, like Brock was tentatively aware his time with Brian was different. It certainly was for the trainer, who held out his hand and boldly led Brock off the treadmill for no reason other than wanting to. 

“Sure. Let’s go grab a room and work out some of that energy.” Luke’s comment of ‘texting that too, Casanova’ was ignored by Brian, focused on the way Brock’s fingers twitched against his own. Despite their nervous motions, Brock didn’t pull the touch away, letting Brian lead him. The pace they took to get to the back room was slow, but if Brock caught onto Brian’s altered speed, he stayed mum. Brian’s smile refused to stay as discreet, wide and proud while making sure anyone in the gym could see the moment his fingers slipped between Brock’s. The feeling was nice, and the ghost of Brock’s palm tingled against his own long after Brock had left the gym. 

It was almost enough to stop the groan of embarrassment from sprouting from his chest when seeing the 103 messages in the group chat about ‘Brian’s alpha stand-off’ with Luke. Luke spared no details of the re-telling, leaving Brian open to all the torment of his co-workers. One of them had even taken a picture of Brian leading Brock off the treadmill (the angle implied Evan, though he couldn’t prove it). He didn’t think it could get any worse; then Scotty’s memes started pouring in.

No, Brian wasn’t going to kill Luke; he was going to kill everyone.

Here you go! Sorry about the delay, I hope the two chapters make up for it. So as always, please like, reblog, and let me know what you think! <3

[fuzzyface]

“You make your own fairytale” - Jester, comphet, and realizing you might not want what you thought you did

It’s no secret to anyone who follows me that I headcanon Jester as a lesbian and have enjoyed pointing out the not-so-straight moments she’s has on the show every week. Until recently, I wasn’t any more invested in this than I usually am in my lgbt headcanons - which is to say it’s fun and meaningful to me but I don’t think it holds much weight outside of my own imagination.

However…

These past few weeks finding “evidence” for this headcanon has felt like less a treasure hunt for subtext and more like just… watching the show. It’s been very easy lately to read Jester’s behavior as that of a closeted lesbian or bi woman, to the point where I’ve started questioning whether it even makes sense to continue calling it a “crack theory” or “conspiracy”. If you’re willing to entertain the belief that gay readings of characters don’t always have to be purely self-indulgent, please enjoy this long-winded explanation as to why I think there’s a legitimately good chance that Jester is canonically in the middle of figuring out her sexuality. 

To start I want to say that, no, I don’t think this is something that was planned from the start. I don’t have a portal to the inside of Laura Bailey’s head, but if I had to guess I’d say that she probably left Jester’s sexuality “undecided” at the start of the campaign, but defaulted to having her like men. Even then I didn’t see her as straight, but there were decidedly less ‘moments’ early in the campaign to support that. This actually lines up fairly well with my theory, which is that Jester’s arc is one of self-exploration. But more simply, I think the idea probably just wouldn’t have occurred to Laura when she was busy just trying to get a feel for the basics of her character. I don’t consider any of the early campaign to “contradict” anything I’m going to say next, I just know somebody would bring it up if I didn’t address it first.

(I have some friends who do very firmly believe that Laura is playing the full long con with Jester and has been slow-burning her sexuality crisis since the start of the campaign, and they’re valid, but I won’t really get into that here since that’s not my personal interpretation. If Laura wants to prove me wrong on a Talks episode sometime in the future, I will gladly eat my words.)

Jester did start out as a character who ostensibly “liked men” but even from the start I thought her way of interacting with that attraction was… interesting. She had an idea in her head of what an ‘ideal man’ was like and projected it onto nearly every man she found attractive, regardless of their actual personalities. All the men she likes are dashing, they’re all handsome heroes, they’re all suave and they’re all definitely interested in her. She thought she wanted a fairytale prince, and so she saw fairytale princes everywhere she looked. It was also really interesting to me that she never made an effort to pursue most of the men she was ‘attracted’ to. With the notable exception of Fjord, she only commented on the appearance of men after she was already distanced from them. Even Nott - the married woman - made more actual passes at men they met than Jester - the romance obsessed one - ever did. Jester seemed to care more about using her attraction to men as a way to gossip and bond with the rest of the party than she did about using it to actually court anyone.

Speaking of Fjord… boy, he’s a whole thing in of himself. Fjord was the first man she ever befriended outside of the very small bubble of people she knew growing up. He was nice to her, they trusted each other, their meeting probably felt like fate, and because of that Jester thought she was in love with him. The fact that Jester was in love with the idea of Fjord rather than the real him was something I had been speculating for a LONG time, but now that Laura has outright confirmed it I can talk about it without having to use any sort of disclaimer. Jester took a very short amount of time to decide that she was “in love” with Fjord, and almost all of the instances where her attraction was most obvious were prompted not by anything he did, but by things that reinforced Jester’s own beliefs on what romance was supposed to be like. She bought a cheesy smut book and started comparing Fjord to the protagonist because of course he’s exactly like Oskar - he’s a man and he’s handsome, isn’t he? Another woman flirted with Fjord and Jester got sick with jealousy because he’s supposed to fall in love with her, isn’t he? When the two of them were free from expectations they were cordial friends with no particular tension between them; it’s when Jester was reminded that they’re ‘supposed to be’ a love story that she got anxious, upset, or started putting on an obvious front.

A lot of this could be argued away as Jester just trying to take things too fast, but what really stood out to me was that Jester never seemed happy about her crush on Fjord. She wasn’t giggly and bubbly when talking about him, and with few exceptions she didn’t seek him out to spend extra time with him or confide her desires in him. The three times she openly addressed her crush - to Nott, the Traveler, and Caleb respectively - she was anxious, confused, or outright upset. Her talk with Nott seemed like she was trying to get reassurance that she was “normal” and that she was having the “correct” feelings in response to Fjord kissing her, which is extremely easy to read as Jester starting to realize that she might not have the feelings for men that she “should” have. Her conversation with Caleb was equally distressing, because by that point she was starting to see her fantasy was falling away. She asserted that she was “stupid” for believing it in the first place and openly admitted that she’s no longer sure her feelings still exist now that the idealism is gone. From that point forward all of Nott’s attempts to set her and Fjord up only caused her more anxiety and distress. The couple of times they were forced to be alone together they were stilted and awkward - a far cry from their original easy friendship - and after a point, Jester started to turn down offers to spend time with him altogether. “No, he’s not flirting with me,” she said, no longer even able to pretend she’s excited by the prospect.

The thing about Jester is, so much of her outward personality is based on appearances. She acts happy and cheerful and confident all the time because she thinks she has to, and she’s an accomplished liar who doesn’t like other people to see her upset or doubtful. Only in drastic situations does Jester willingly let someone see her vulnerable. It would have been incredibly easy for Laura to play Jester as her usual, cheerful, ‘no problems here’ self during her conversations about Fjord if we weren’t supposed to interpret her as being obviously and deeply conflicted. Something in her head felt very, very wrong when Fjord kissed her for her to be able to tell Nott that the only thing it made her feel was “not dead”. Something in her mind didn’t click right when she finally got what she wanted for her to be able to tell Caleb that she wasn’t even sure her crush was real.

The slow resurgence of the bond between Fjord and Jester recently made me wonder if I was wrong about my interpretation, if maybe Jester had just been sulking because she thought Fjord didn’t like her, and now she was convincing herself again that he did. But Laura confirming on Talks that Jester was mostly over her crush on Fjord solidified for me that her arc was intentionally about learning how to move on from unhealthy infatuation. So if it’s undeniably canon that Jester’s only real crush on a man was based on her misunderstanding both the situation and her own desires, and it’s canon that she is moving on from that attraction and starting to learn what she actually wants, that leaves us with the question: Where is Jester going from here?

I’ve talked a lot so far about Jester’s relationship to men and how so much of it mirrors the experience of a woman dealing with comphet; performatively talking about attractive men without pursuing them, idealizing and projecting ‘ideal’ traits onto crushes instead of developing them naturally, convincing herself she’s in a fairytale romance because a man was nice and nonthreatening towards her. But being a wlw doesn’t ‘require’ comphet, and regardless I can’t - and wouldn’t - build a gay headcanon just around her feelings about men. So let me talk now about Jester’s relationship with women.

Jester has been naturally complimentary of women since the start of the campaign. She’s quick to call them cute, call them pretty, compliment their clothes. I don’t necessarily think - until more recently - this was meant to be read as ‘not straight’. If anything I think it was just another example of Jester’s naturally flirty personality - she likes to compliment people, she likes to tease. However, the difference in how she approaches women and men has been extremely blatant recently and I genuinely don’t think it’s an accident. The ways that she - and Laura while playing her - acts around characters who are beautiful women isn’t the same ‘casually complimentary’ demeanor she had towards all genders since the start of the campaign. Jester calling Lady Olios ‘beautiful’ no less than three times in a single meeting and being noticeably flustered isn’t usual Jester behavior, Laura repeatedly asking Matt what the Bright Queen is wearing only so that Jester can be visibly awed by her beauty isn’t usual Jester behavior. The fact that she compliments women to their face, while with men it’s always an offhand comment after they leave, also stands out to me. It’s the little moments too that I notice, the times where there’s no reason to even make a comment in the first place unless you’re trying to make a point, like Jester telling Caduceus that the Wildmother is hot, or mentioning how attractive Yasha is in the middle of an unrelated conversation. It all adds up.

I’m aware of my biases in viewing these scenes as a lesbian, but completely outside of headcanons it’s obvious that Jester has an established fixation on beautiful women, and it’s obvious that this has come up more frequently now than it used to in the past. It’s the fact that this overlaps with her realizing that she’s no longer sure what she wants - that love and romance and attraction aren’t what she thought they were - that feels deliberate to me in a way that Jester’s earlier offhand comments about women never did. If Jester’s feelings towards women are meant to be entirely platonic, then the insistence on highlighting them - sometimes even interrupting scenes to do so - seems strange to me. It’s not played for comedy, it’s rarely relevant to the scene at hand, so why does it come up often enough that my friends and I keep a running joke that if there’s a beautiful woman in a scene Jester will comment on it at least once? (Play that game yourself when you’re watching new episodes, you’ll be amazed at how rarely you’ll be wrong)

So where’s this going, if Jester is being played as in the middle of discovering her sexuality? She gets over a major crush on a player character just to flirt with random attractive NPCs? Is Jester’s gay awakening supposed to be centered on her occasionally thinking powerful and unattainable women are hot, or would Laura have the logical sense to plan such a serious character decision around something that would have an actual impact on the party? Well, let’s be honest, you probably knew this part was coming eventually…

Jester’s relationship with Beau is one of the closest and most stable friendships in the group. The two of them have an intense love and trust of one another and are both verbally and physically affectionate on a greater level than any pair in the party. I’ve talked myself to death about these two already and I’ll do so plenty in the future, so I’m not going to give an entire summary of their relationship (if you need a refresher, here you go). Yes, I ship them. Yes, I’ve talked plenty about what I think of Beau’s side of the relationship. But it’s regardless of shipping or the potential of mutual feelings that, for the purposes of this essay, I say there’s a good chance that Jester canonically has a crush on Beau.

Hear me out.

The two of them had an ostensibly platonic relationship for the majority of the campaign. There were some charged moments but nothing that could really and truly be read as explicitly romantic or sexual without shipping goggles on. Then Episode 46 aired. Jester was directly in the middle of her crisis about her feelings for Fjord, Laura was clearly playing her as starting to realize that she didn’t feel the way she originally thought she did, the group had just been through a tremendously traumatic experience that made Jester question whether she could trust them… and then Beau hugs her, and talks about their shared childhood trauma, and tells her she’s beautiful, and tells her that she loves her. I can’t say for sure that this would have been the moment that Jester fully developed feelings, but I do know that if you were already planning for your character to have an arc about learning what she wants from love, this would feel like an awfully convenient moment to build off of. And I can certainly observe the ways that Beau and Jester’s dynamic has visibly changed in the episodes since.

We already know what platonic friendship between Beau and Jester looks like; we watched 40+ episodes of it. What we have now is Jester blushing and giggling when Beau blows her a kiss, Jester asking Beau if she’s secretly in love with her, Jester stepping in to counter every derogatory thing said about Beau with showers of compliments, Jester asking to look down Beau’s pants, Beau offering to let Jester watch her make out with another woman, Jester approaching Beau and only Beau to discuss her thoughts about love and romance. These are often explicitly flirty interactions that we genuinely never saw between the two of them previously, and given how it directly lines up with Jester falling out of love with someone else and clearly having romance on the brain, it feels oddly perfect to just be a coincidence. Even the more ‘dubiously platonic’ moments between them are more frequent and more tender. Jester doing things like giving Beau a massage to help her fall asleep (a scene she logically shouldn’t even have been awake for), pulling Beau aside to ask her to commit some vandalism for her, or repeatedly complimenting her when she shows any sign of insecurity. The fact that Jester immediately chose to stay roommates with her - in a house with so many rooms that the only other people bunking up are a married couple - at the very least confirmed for me that Jester has been prioritizing Beau in her life in a major way lately.

The little comments, the encouragement, the way Jester seems to almost hover over Beau for any sign that she needs to be comforted or reassured… it all adds up to something big in their relationship having changed and there is absolutely nothing contradictory or unreasonable in viewing it as Jester having developed romantic feelings for Beau. If Jester went up to someone the very next episode and told them she was in love with Beau, everything that’s happened between them would feel like a perfectly natural progression up to that moment. Call me crazy, but when you can draw a line that easily from A to B using only what’s available to you in canon, I think at the least you usually call that an entirely plausible theory.

So what’s my point here? Am I saying Jester is for sure being played as a closeted gay woman who’s secretly in love with Beau? Of course not. I don’t claim to be any more certain of what Laura Bailey has planned than anyone else. I’m also not trying to say that Jester is “coded” as gay or anything like that. But I can look at the storybeats that I correctly predicted due to my own headcanons (Jester questioning and ultimately abandoning her feelings for Fjord, Beau and Jester growing closer and having more non-platonic interactions) and follow it to its logical conclusion.

If all these things have been correct so far, and Jester being gay is an easy and logical interpretation that contradicts nothing and explains a lot, then why not assume it might actually be what Laura is intending? At the very least, why not stop treating it like a wild fringe theory that could never have solid supporting evidence?

Jester is gay, tell your friends