#i love going into procreate & seeing drawings i forgot i finished

[druidgroves]

i forgot i finished a part two to go with yelena’s other outfit i drew. might doodle her shepherds’ uniform when i’m not feeling sickly 🤧

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 7

Moms, Meltdowns, and Mayhem

Hello and welcome back to Fabian’s worst nightmare, already in progress!

We rejoin the Bad Kids who have linked back up the next day and are on their way to the library of the city Leviathan--The Compass Point Library. On the way there, they see the Crow’s Keep burning but Fabian, assuming it has to do with what happened to him, tells everyone to leave it alone.

Adaine questions why Riz hasn’t had any nightmares (Riz: In a way, my life is a nightmare) and the whole group goes into another round of Shadowcat speculation. Is she protecting Riz from nightmares for some reason? Why can Tracker and Garthy suddenly see her in the picture despite not having seen her irl or had any weird dreams? Is she masquerading as someone else? 

Anyway, they reach the library which is the cool, cobbled together and largely stolen (to Fig’s delight) pirate-y library of Alexandria type place. They meet an old pirate wizard named Rollins with a book of pirate spells that Fig immediately wants to steal and Adaine wants to borrow (or steal, she’s flexible). They all sign up for Compass Point library cards and go up to the observatory to look for Ayda Aguefort. 

In the observatory, they find a huge orange-yellow bird on a perch and this is the part of the recap where I have to inform you that Aguefort had not only banged a phoenix, he somehow managed to procreate with it. Meet Ayda Aguefort, the half-phoenix (shout-out to the anon from last week who called Ayda as Aguefort’s daughter). She’s got wings and arms, bird legs, a plume of red fiery hair, and eyes which are basically just fire.

Fig thinks she’s the creature Aguefort made for her for reasons I cannot begin to fathom. She tries to feed her but Ayda rejects the food, not wishing to be in anyone’s debt. Ayda is kind of intense, abrupt, and anti-social when they meet her. She’s fully is about to fly away instead of helping until Fabian yells that Garthy sent them and Adaine remembers she has the letter from Garthy asking her to help them. After some back and forth, she agrees to give Adaine the spell (which will take 6 hours to learn) for 150 gold. But these are the Bad Kids so, of course, we have several tangents before the plot goes anywhere, during which we learn Ayda is a divination wizard (like Adaine), she asks if her father has talked about her (Fig successfully lies that he has), and Gorgug spouts out some fortune cookie nonsense (“What is a telescope but a spyglass pointed at the stars?”) that convinces Ayda that he could be the greatest wizard of their age (Adaine does a spit take and Fig is loving it).   

Adaine hits the books to learn the sending spell with Sandra-Lynn keeping watch while everyone else splits up suchly:

Fabian wants to go out to check on the Hangman but Kristen absolutely vetoes that. Buddy. System. Ragh agrees to go with him and she lays off. He tries to see what the damage on the Hangman is. Nat 1. As far as Fabian can tell, the Hangman is full dead. Not only that, Fabian is poor people sick which he isn’t used to at all. Ragh isn’t doing much better on the emotional front. He just started making progress with processing his emotions and now his mom might be dead. Saddest Hoot Growl ever (seriously, it’s heartbreaking). Cathilda comes in, loving as ever, with food and kind words and an old lullaby, but that’s not enough to stop Fabian from rolling another Nat 1 and gaining 2 levels of exhaustion (which means disadvantage on ability checks and speed halved). Lou, please burn those dice. 

Kristen and Riz are researching the Nightmare King. They go into a religious studies section of the library and (on a 20+ check from Riz) find texts about a temple to a forgotten god in Sylvere (the forest of the Nightmare King). The god is never named in any of the texts which Kristen finds weird. Riz decides to steal the book and is able to do it, despite Kristen’s “help”. Later, Kristen cross-refs Riz’s info with her world religions book and, on a dirty 20, she finds with frustration that there’s a lot of information but none of it really matches up. The fairies, treants, and especially the unicorns all had mysterious deities but none of them really match with the forgotten god. [Note: Last time we heard about unicorns was in episode one and we learned that the last time people saw the great unicorn was the last time the NK showed up.] At the same time, it seems like there are elements of the god in all five of the cultures in the forest. Adaine checks and there’s nothing magic with the book so it’s just the contents of the book that are weird, not the book itself. Kristen thinks there might be a connection to her weird dream about not being able to draw the face of her god. Adaine wonders if Kristen might have been worshipping this unnamed god by mistake. Gorgug wonders if the god is erasing themselves (a theory backed up late when they talk to Aguefort).  

Fig looks for information on cursed gems and (with a 19) she finds a good amount--no surprise in a pirate library. She finds a book called Breaking the Evil Eye in one of the forbidden sections and learns that it could be possible to planeshift into the gem, dispel magic from the inside and get rid of the trap, before breaking the original curse. She finds all of this out after she steals the book (disguised as Rollins). Planeshift is a level 7 spell though so Adaine has a while to go before she can learn it (she gets her first at level 13). 

Gorgug asks the real Rollins for books about cheering up a friend. He’s brought to a small, dusty section of the library. Gorgug rolls a nat 1 on an insight check and thinks that Rollins must be messing with him. Rollins is confused because he super wasn’t. Adaine takes a break and uses this pointless argument borne from misunderstanding to steal his book. Dirty 20. Rollins instantly skelatizes. She hastily puts the book back. He comes back Wrong and in incredible pain. He begs them to take the book out and Gorgug does. Adaine peaces out to finish studying, leaving Gorgug to deal with her mess. Gorgug decides to keep looking at the friendship books. Even on a 5, he finds a secret door into a HUGE friendship library. Guided by his library card, Gorgug finds a book called Cheer Up Me Hearties. When he gets out, Gilear is being accosted for killing Rollins, but Gorgug is able to get them to stand down. Gorgug Thistlespring, winning pirate hearts and minds. They take the book and Rollins’ bones to get him put back together.   

Adaine finishes up as Ayda comes to check on her. Ayda is about to make another quick exit but Adaine tries again to make friends with Ayda, this time by directly asking and offering to let her hold Boggy. Ayda is immediately obsessed with Boggy (and Adaine’s backpack terrarium AND the backpack she makes for him at Ayda’s suggestion) and extremely impressed with Adaine’s spellwork in manifesting Boggy. It’s a very cute scene and Adaine has made a useful ally. Ayda can’t believe she met the two greatest wizards of the age in one day. Wild. 

Everyone regroups to call Aguefort now that Adaine knows Sending. He sends them back some more powerful magic so he can talk for longer than the 25 word response. Think of it as magic Skype. He very casually tells them that Ragh’s house is a smoking crater and his mom is super dead. He takes far too long to follow up with the information that, a long time ago, he hid Lydia’s real body under the school, made a clone of her, and used the Magic Jar spell to basically hook up her consciousness to the clone body (which held a fake demon shard). The clone body is what got destroyed. Lydia’s real body and consciousness are fine. Way to bury the lede dude! Upon being asked, Arthur says that he used to remember the name of the god of the unicorn but he forgot. Suspicious and troubling. He and Fig also renew discussions on the creature she ordered but never paid for. He says the cheapest option is a pentacorn for 30k gold (which sounds like a unicorn w/ 5 horns and pretty useless but I refuse to get dragged into this insanity, I am just the messenger here).

Aguefort leaves to deal with the situation at home. Meanwhile, Gorgug notices smoke again but he also notices that it’s on the wrong side to be related to what happened to Fabian. After giving Fabian and Ragh oranges to prevent scurvy--a tip from the pirate friendship book--he brings it up to Fabian who thinks it’s probably Captain Wicklaw making a power play and they should probably stay out of it. What? says Adaine. Nah, we should fight him. Yeah, says Fig. You deserve revenge! Fabian just wants to lay low so they can get their C+. Adaine is not here for that C+ and she’s not here for Fabian’s concerning attitude shift. None of the Bad Kids are. However, the cast is very here for absolutely roasting Lou for all of his choices by having their respective characters inadvertently reference every bad thing that happened last episode. When Adaine suggests that Fabian might be cursed, Fabian finally haltingly comes out with the entire story (which Lou has to laugh-cry himself through in one of the best scenes of the episode) and everyone interjects with comments that they (out of character) know will just make Fabian’s storytelling even more uncomfortable. It’s a very wild combination of very emotional (in game) but deeply funny (out of game). Like:

Ally (who knows good and well that Chungledown Bim told Fabian he was gonna shit in his mouth): Did Chungledown Bim help you?

Zac (who also knows good and well that Chungledown Bim told Fabian he was gonna shit in his mouth): Chungledown Bim probably saved you.

Murph (yet another person who knows good and well that ChungledownBim told Fabian he was gonna shit in his mouth) You know what we should do? We should go see Chungledown Bim.        

Amazing. 

Fabian finishes his recounting of the 20 car pile-up that was last episode by repeating his earlier opinion that they shouldn’t go after Captain Wicklaw because it will just end with all of them dead. Kristen tries to slap him back to normal and tells him to lose the Gilear energy. Led by Gorgug and Adaine, the gang tells Fabian that being Bill Secaster’s son isn’t the only worthwhile thing about him (in fact, it’s pretty annoying). He’s worthwhile all on his own. Tracker chimes in and says that she thinks Fabian might have some issues with depression so maybe their well intentioned efforts to get Fabian to buck up weren’t the best way to handle things. Adaine and Riz are skeptical that Fabian is like, capital D, Depressed but Tracker sticks by her read on the situation. The group eventually decides to at least check out what’s going on with the smoke but before they arrive, an interlude:

As they walk to Crow’s Keep, Cathilda walks with Fabian and Cathilda starts dropping information about herself and about how her own children died before Fabian was born and about how she sees him as a son--though she’s tried to keep the proper professional distance. She comforts Fabian on his bad day and then her eyes go full Terminator and she mentally buts Wicklaw on her “People I Need to Murder Today” list (more on this later).

When they arrive at the place where the smoke is coming from, they find that the Ramble (kind of a pirate meetinghouse/Courthouse) has been burned down. Jemina Joy is there and she lets them know that Wicklaw asked what was necessary to become the new pirate king. He was told that all he needed to do was get the crown from the former pirate king (because respect for/fear of Bill was the only thing keeping there from being a new king). He just burned down the Ramble to be a dick. Adaine damn near gets her ass beat by Jemina by arguing politics with her (her point being that she wants to install Jemina as Pirate Queen while Jemina is like, “I just keep this place from sinking. Lay off.”) but Riz, mindful of the fact that this is a time sensitive situation, takes off to Gibbety Square where the pirate king’s crown is (and where Wicklaw is headed).

They make it to Brennan’s latest battle mechanic: The Row and the Ruction.

This is the crazy, pirate bicameral legislative system. The Row is a huge fistfight (no weapons allowed--or really they are allowed but everyone will gang up on you if you use them) at ground level. It’s always in session and has been for 150-ish years. Above that, is the Ruction which is a fight with full weapon and magic usage alone. The idea is that you need enough support on the ground in the Row so you can use them to get up in the Ruction. It’s a king of the hill situation up there and if you can hold your position up there for long enough, you can make laws. Got all that? Good. 

They get there just barely after Wicklaw and his men who haven’t yet entered the Row. Wicklaw starts talking mad trash to Fabian but his friends back him up. They give him back his sword, his eye-patch, and Kristen hits him with a Warding Bond (which means that he gets +1 to AC and saving throws if he stays close to her plus resistance to all damage and, more importantly, she takes all the damage he takes). Fig gives everyone Countercharm. And, to top it off, Cathilda shows up with in an all black, super-badass pirate uniform to say she’s gonna feed him his own freaking brains! Let’s goooooooo!

But, Wicklaw has some new allies as well. Three elves bamf in from Falinel (same people who Kristen felt scrying on them earlier) and they’re there to bring Adaine back, and it doesn’t seem like they’re gonna just ask nicely.   

Detention

Adaine for Unnecessary Theft and (Accidentally) Killing a Man 

Adaine was kind of on one this episode. Not only did she inadvertently kill* a man while stealing from him, Adaine also ghosted at the first sign of trouble, leaving Gorgug and Gilear to catch all the flak for her attempt at pulling a Fig. Bad form, girl!

*She probably didn’t technically kill him but she turned him into a skeleton and he called the pain upon reconstitution worse than death so let’s not quibble about the details. 

Honor Roll

Cathilda for Being a Badass Mom 

Oh man, oh man, oh man. 

I’ve low-key been waiting for Cathilda to go full pirate since we learned that was an option and especially since Fabian got attacked because it was a pretty safe bet that was going to be her berserk button and boy did she deliver.

When did she have the time for a costume change? Is she that stealthy? Did she magic it on? Or did she just manifest the outfit on the power of her rage alone?

The scene where she says Wicklaw is gonna pay? Chills. Not only pledging to eat your enemy’s brains but also saying you’re going to feed him his own brains and describing exactly how you’ll serve it? So raw. 

But I also have to shout out the non-murderous mom stuff she did this ep. The little talk she gave Fabian about no one being defined by their worst day was very sweet and good advice out of game too. 

But honorable mention to Gorgug for being an absolute sweetheart all episode. Zac’s improv about pirates giving their friends oranges to prevent scurvy bodied me.  

Random Thoughts

Some very useful posts from @jamiebluewind: Character Descriptions, Location Descriptions, Transcripts of Cathilda’s speeches from this ep. 

During the initial discussion with Collins, we learn that the transmutation exchange rate is 50 Parrots=10 Bananas=1 Gold. How are bananas more complex than parrots?

Adaine: May we steal books?

Her later actions aside, I think it’s funny that Adaine’s first move is basically always to sweetly ask for what she wants and Fig’s first move is, “Gotta steal that book!” Adaine is like the most polite person in the group but also ready to fight 100% of the time. The role reversal in the Jemina scene where Fig was the one who asked an on point question and Adaine was the one who made it almost spiral into an actual fight was great.

I was just saying this re: Harry Potter in a different context but clearly marked but not blocked off forbidden sections of libraries are more a dare than a deterrent. 

Fig as a horned parrot (done by Rollins for trying to steal his book) is adorable. Please somebody draw that.

I love that when they see the bird that turns out to be Ayda and Murph is like, “I don’t think that’s a bird,” Zac is like, “Yeah, Gorgug doesn’t know that.” Zac (like Travis as Grog in CritRole) has a real talent for playing dumb while actually being really smart.

“My principal scammed me?”

Brennan truly did not have to follow through on Aguefort saying he slept with a bird. He really, really did not have to but he was like, “Nope! I said it so it’s happening! This is happening!” I really wish you guys could have seen my face as I realized in real time that the madman was actually doing that. 

Adaine to Fig who thinks Ayda is her creature: This is a full person.

“I like school.”/“You would.”

Lol at Fig trying to draw parallels between Ayda’s prickliness and her own behavior and getting absolutely shut down. “I think people think you’re really tender.” The running thing of Fig’s perception of herself as this standoffish loner being constantly reality checked by literally everyone she knows being like, “You tell us you love us literally every day,” is one of my favorite group dynamics. It’s even funnier because, besides probably Adaine and Fabian, the rest of the Bad Kids probably knew Fig (or at least had seen her around) before she started going through her emo phase. So they totally remember her in 8th grade wearing preppy clothes and carrying a unicorn backpack and listening to Fantasy Taylor Swift and all that.   

All ep they were calling Kalina a cat and I was thinking, “I feel like—in game—that’s gotta be offensive.” And then Aguefort straight said it. Wild for it to come from him since he’s the craziest person ever but I’m glad it came up.

“You seem simple to me.”/“Thank God.”

Aww at Ayda asking if Aguefort ever talks about her. Brennan, you gotta stop putting little emotional traps into otherwise funny scenes. I can only handle so much!

The gang did some experimentation with the photo in this ep with these results: Ayda and Aguefort both couldn’t see Kalina in the picture. They also took a picture of the picture but that picture had the same properties as the original picture. Weeping Angel rules I guess. 

There’s speculation in this episode about why Riz isn’t having nightmares. I have another question kinda on that topic. In episode 2/3, we see the lie/mirror/Baron thing that happened with Riz. And that was for sure super nightmarish. But it doesn’t match what happened to Adaine and Fabian. Both of them seem to have had more ephemeral experiences that quickly vanished. And they weren’t borne from lies so much as fears. Riz’s monster came from a direct lie and it didn’t seem to be a nightmare. It came out of the mirror and attacked not only him but his friends later. No one saw Fabian or Adaine’s nightmares besides them (although, that could just be because they got away). And no other lie-monsters have showed up as far as we know. I’m just wondering if there’s maybe something else going on or if it was a different NK follower who did that or just a different power of the same dude. Just something I wanted to note because it’s been bugging me a little and no one’s brought it up yet. 

Cool quirk of the sending spell Adaine learned: Because it was modified by pirates, curse words don’t count towards the 25 word limit. What I immediately thought (and what Aguefort actually ended up doing more or less) was that you could easily send very long messages with, say, Morse code. Just designate one curse as a dot, one as a dash, and one as a space, and you’re good to go. It’d be slow, but totally workable. 

Also, after watching Laura as Jester absolutely flying by the seat of her pants with every sending spell, it was wild to see the group take the time to carefully craft the perfect message. 

I said two recaps ago that I wouldn’t be surprised if Gorgug multiclassed into a casting class soon and boy do I hope this episode means he’s gonna do it for real. Adaine’s total disbelief at Ayda’s interest in Gorgug’s wizarding potential was sending me.

Oh also. Ayda has forbidden Gorgug from reading any wizarding books so he doesn’t lose is totally uncomplicated mind. I guess he’s supposed to learn everything the savant way? Imagine Adaine diligently studying her wizard books, trying to master some complicated spell and Gorgug is like, “I woke up and I guess I can use Mage Hand now? Neat.” Absolutely maddening. 

Besides Cathilda, Gorgug was the MVP in this episode. Dude has a knack for making friends that I think will eventually pay dividends. 

Also, speaking of, everything Brennan said during the secret shelf section was so good as to sound planned, however, how could you predict that that was a thing a player was going to ask to find? Brennan is just always 7 seconds of prep time away from giving an elaborate and super specifically themed speech about friendship I guess.  

Big ups to Kristen for not letting Fabian go off by himself again. Like, for the sake of the party of course but also the, “We almost lost you,” was sweet. She also helped buff him going into the coming fight with Warding Bond that means she takes all the damage he takes. I am SO glad they brought another healer with them because that’s such a risky move. Kristen is a LOT but she’s also very ride or die and all heart. I really love that the last time she used this spell it was on Gilear for a joke and now it’s getting used seriously. It���s a perfect establish existence of power to audience/bring back at plot relevant time setup. Improv storytelling is so inexplicably good. 

Technically, to cast Warding Bond, you’re supposed to have matching rings with the person you’re casting it on so imagine Kristen blinged out with a ring for each party member and each of them having a corresponding one in case she needs to cast it on them.  

Little bit concerned that Tracker still doesn’t know about Sandra-Lynn/Garthy. The longer it takes for her to find out, the higher the chance it blows up and becomes a Thing.

Fig: *Meandering philosophical question about why Ayda watches the stars*/Ayda: I study it so I can know where this big city is floating.

RIP to the Hangman. I don’t think he’s gone for good but it seems like he is for now. On my first watch, I thought that, on a 1, Fabian just fully thinks that the Hangman is gone but, the second time it seemed more like he’s just dead. Now, I’m not Brennan, but if I was in this situation, you know what I would do? I would have someone save the Hangman’s soul (or whatever he has instead of a soul) and store it in the Hangvan temporarily. Imagine how much he’d hate that. It’s full of potential for “roommate” shenanigans. 

Is there anything stopping them from just, ramming the Row with the Hangvan? Like, I know it’ll get them ganged up on, but will they be able to do much against a full van?

Also, if/when they hold the Ruction, I wonder what law they’re going to try and make. They didn’t really go in with a plan (understandable under the time pressure) so they’re really gonna have to improvise something on the fly. 

Also, I’m assuming Fabian stabbed the Hangman while he was asleep? I don’t think we were ever shown that scene, but Fabian must have been under some kind of compulsion since he woke up in the river (and the same happened to Ragh). 

Aguefort casually mentions that he has many children and this episode proves that Brennan can and will back up every single crazy thing that comes out of his mouth, so I’m excited to see if there is a single Aguefort out there that isn’t crazy.

Oh, also, the acknowledgement that occasionally that phoenix is a child is appreciated because that was def a question I was going to ask. Squicky to say the least but I guess that’s how phoenixes work so what are you gonna do?

Ally needing to roll a 10, rolling, being happy, checking Kristen’s modifier, and realizing it’s a negative 3 for a total of 9 is peak D&D.

Fig as Rollins: Look at how fast I can run!

I love Fig thinking Adaine could plausibly have 7 level spells. She’s like, idk bro. She’s the eleven oracle. She cares about school. She could know this too. Who knows? Certainly not Fig who thought she could buy wizard spells to use as a bard.

“Please speak more enthusiastically on my behalf.”

“It’s my brain guys.”

Fig mind controls Gilear into believing in himself and he fails his save. I wonder if this is could be valid therapy technique in this world. 

Aguefort mentions that a Wish spell can destroy a Magic Jar just fyi. That makes 3 pretty high level spells mentioned in this ep. Magic Jar is 6th level. Planeshift is 7th level. And Wish, basically the strongest spell in the game, is 9th level. We’re starting to deal with some serious magical mojo.

The whole thing with people in pictures that not everyone can see and memories that you know you once had but don’t anymore and information that should exist but doesn’t is hitting a very specific storytelling sweet spot for me. 

This is a little meta-gamey to be thinking about but I’m kinda wondering, why sideline Gorthalax? Obviously, it’s a good plot hook for Fig and that might be all it is. But I’m lowkey wondering is there something Gorthalax knows or can do that would solve the plot in 30 seconds if he was around? Like, was he roommates with the Nightmare King in hell or something?

Kristen finds it weird that the god’s name isn’t written anywhere but I’m sure that’s gotta be fairly common. Or at least not unheard of. Like, I know in Judaism you’re not supposed to do that. Anyway, watch the great unicorn be the Nightmare King just for the Nightmare/Night Mare pun.

Adaine being on brand no matter the situation: Everybody shut up I have to do my homework!

The, “Do you want a friend?”/“Desperately.” interaction killed me. 

“I don’t have any wizard friends.”/“I’m a wizard.”/(beat)/“I don’t have any wizard friends.”

Arthur cloned a woman, forgot to tell her, and then straight forgot. So business as usual from him. 

Fabian’s, “Nooooooo,” with the rising intonation every time someone made an assumption during his story and he had to correct him was amazing. Also, “He told me he was going to shit in my mouuuuwth.”

Ragh, Fig, and Adaine all crying about their parental issues at the same time. This has been, like, the longest week ever. I wonder if the 7 Maidens are unpacking this much trauma on their quest.

“Absolutely timbered.”

Lol at Brennan dropping the cool pirate sending spell “curses don’t count” detail and then being told from off camera that he needs to keep it PG-13. But then Cathilda needed to go beast mode so, like, what can you do?

Another cool worldbuilding detail is pirate clerics just keep shrines to every deity they’ve come into contact with to hedge their bets like Beni from The Mummy.

I know Lydia was attacked on orders from Kalina but I wonder if they knew about/had plans for the demon shard too. 

When Emily said she disguised herself as Rollins, I fully thought she was going to walk out the door the real Rollins was guarding and not go out the back door like she did. The idea of a back door didn’t even occur to me. I just thought we were in for some classic Axford insanity. 

Riz: You’ve gotta get better at talking to kids.

Riz: This is real Gilear energy.

Kristen: We brought one Gilear. We don’t wanna make that mistake twice.

Everything that happened with Fabian was really funny because there’s nothing I love more in D&D than players having a good time dunking on each other but, in game, Fabian is really going through it. Fabian low key has mom friend energy so to almost die and then for all of his friends to jump into the exact fight that almost killed him (including taunting the dude! Adaine!) against his advice must be giving him a level of anxiety and dread that I don’t even have the words to describe. Like, now is not the time for him to digging into that because things are life or death. Gotta save your life before you can fix it. But he def needs to at some point. Too bad Jawbone’s not around for a quick mid-battle therapy sesh like he had with Adaine during prom.   

Tracker suggested that Fabian might be depressed. I’m not an expert on depression. He could be depressed and, in any case, he definitely needs to see a therapist for a Lot of reasons. But having a breakdown because you saw 14 people die, almost died yourself, and were told that a man wanted to shit in your mouth less than 24 hours ago seems less like a sign of depression and more like the only rational human reaction.

Adaine calls the above, “a vaguely mediocre day”. Michael Scott Voice: Adaine you ignorant slut.

Also Adaine: You got that bike because you won it fair and square because we killed a lot of people.

This is the second time Adaine has said that Fabian’s lineage is actually the most annoying thing about him and these are the kind of tiny continuity details I live for.

Semi-relatedly, Fabian’s relationship with his parents v. Adaine’s relationship with hers is endlessly fascinating to me. Because they have such similar backgrounds but coming from, like, opposite directions of the same spectrum, you know? Can’t wait for those sweet, sweet parallels as we jump into her trauma! (What is D&D but group therapy interspaced with murder?)  

Speaking of Adaine’s trauma, it looks like we’ll be getting to it very soon as those FBI Falinel operatives have shown up to force her (and the plot) back to Falinel. This is Concerning to me for two reasons. First off, remember the Aelwyn fight from season 1? Remember how annoying that was? Now imagine that times three and also 2 separate pirate brawls are happening. That sounds like a Bad Time for our kids. They’ve leveled up some and they’ve been known to make some very clutch battle decisions, but this is gonna be tough any way you slice it. This is like two entirely separate encounters at the same time. A small good point: I looked up the language for teleportation and it can only be used to transport a willing creature. So they can’t just bum rush her and poof out. But they could give her an ultimatum to make her agree. The second reason this Concerns me is that Adaine high key doesn’t want to work with/for Falinel and they know this. The fact that they’ve resorted to kidnapping (fun international law fact: when a government kidnaps someone, it’s called rendition) tells me that they’re done playing nice which opens up two options to them they might not have otherwise used. They could coerce Adaine’s consent to be their oracle by threatening her life/her friends’ lives. Or, more troubling, they could just kill her. I mean, she became the elven oracle when the old one died, right? So, if she died, someone else would get the job. Probably someone less troublesome to deal with. I doubt they’re gonna go straight for that because they seem to want her alive, at least for now. But it is a concern. 

Of course, we’re assuming that what’s happening on the face of this is the whole story, but that’s not necessarily true. Iirc, all we heard was that they found the oracle and they were gonna bring her back to Falinel. For all we know, the elves could be working for Adaine’s mom. Of Adaine’s mom could be working with Falinel. Or she could be working with Falinel just as a way to get to her daughter. We really don’t know. The last person on this show that got kidnapped was Fabian and that was a friendly kidnapping. Anything is possible. 

Something that struck me as a possibility: This fight seems like it’s gonna suck. There is a world where the ideal move for Adaine is to pull an Evy (from the Mummy--two Mummy refs in one recap, did not plan that, I just love the Mummy) and agree to go with the Falinel elves if they help them instead (or at least stop helping Wicklaw) with the faith that her friends will come rescue her. I doubt they actually care much about what happens in the government of this pirate junk city. I’m curious about how they ended up together anyway. I’m guessing the elves clued into what was going on while scrying on the group and decided an alliance might be useful.

Brennan about both Ally’s Applebees Reference and Fig using a Leviathan phonebook: That is nothing.

Shoutout to Fruzzinoid in the chat who said Ally’s alignment is chaotic-chaotic. Accurate.

I love the laughing-squawk that Brennan does for Ayda as much as I hate the fact that he made the Choice to spell it that way.

Truly, the entire scene where Lou is recapping the fight from last episode and he’s laughing uncontrollably but Fabian is clearly crying and he’s expressing both of those things simultaneously is beautiful. 

A Fabian line that really hit but that I haven’t mentioned yet: “I probably have one follower running around. Never mind he’s my father’s just like everything else I have.” Ow. Such a deep cut but so off the cuff from Lou. As a writer, this show makes me so mad because that’s such a good line of dialogue that Lou just dropped out of his mouth like it was nothing. How dare he? 

Another good line I didn’t mention before, this tie from Riz: “We all draw strength from each other. You went in without your crew. What’s a pirate without his crew?” Ugh, Murph. Who gave you the right?

This episode has made me extremely curious about what Cathilda thinks about Hilariel. Because she sees herself as Fabian’s mom--which she essentially has been in a lot of the ways that count since Hilariel has been mentally out to lunch for the past however many years. To be clear, I do think Hilariel loves Fabian. She just hasn’t really been present even though she’s been literally present. The way Cathilda phrased some of the things she said and the way she seems to talk about Fabian’s dad so much more than his mom makes me wonder if she doesn’t...resent isn’t the right word exactly. Maybe, disapprove? It makes me wonder if she doesn’t disapprove of Hilariel’s parenting choices more than she lets on. 

Kristen’s, “Do you listen to music?” in the middle of actually useful questions for Ayda. 

Rich people sicknesses include having eaten too much caviar or smoked a cigar for too long in case you’re wondering.

“You want an orange, pal?”

On a practical note, we have two more episodes to go until the show breaks for the year so prepare yourselves from now people!

Riz, Adaine, and Gorgug each rolled one Nat 20 apiece. Fig, Gorgug, and Adaine each rolled a Nat 1 (but Adaine presumably cancelled out hers rolling with advantage because of Boggy). Fabian, who is still living his worst life, rolled three Nat 1s. Tragic.  

[juniperwindsong]

A Night at the Rosier’s

This little drabble is dedicated to my very dear friend, who asked for an "emotional support/comic relief social buffer" for Christmas. Sorry this came so late, but I'm immensely proud of you. Also, to the mod of @ask-chester-davies, who said something nice about my other story. Here is some additional Felster content for your fandom.

Also important to note: if you’ve read anything else by me, you’ll recognise Juniper Windsong (my MC) but this story doesn’t exist in the same universe as my other Felix x Juniper fics. Apologies for the confusion!

Summary: Every time another oily old wizard sidles over to offer him congratulations on such a fine catch, Felix finds himself more irritated. He has made a fine catch, he thinks, and it isn't the Hogwarts curse-breaker. And for the first time, it bothers Felix that he can't show off the person he truly wants to.

-

Juniper Windsong stares glumly down at her red satin stiletto heels, then out across the cruelly cobbled path to the Rosier's manor house. It's unnecessarily long and winding, the stones fitted together in an uneven pattern and jutting out irregularly. She groans and takes a cautious step forward, instantly stumbling. "So, tell me why I'm here again?"

Juniper poses the question to the comfortably oxford-clad young man walking a pace ahead of her and oblivious to her struggle.

"I did explain that in the letter." Felix replies, his tone and pace brisk with buzzing nerves.

"Yeah, but explain it again because it was weird."

Felix sighs. "You are pretending to be my fiancée so my parents will relax about the whole "marriage thing" for a bit and I can continue seeing Chester without their knowledge."

"Uh huh..." Juniper mumbles, her eyes on her feet, working hard to avoid the cracks between the stones. "Okay, you have to slow down. I'm not good at this!"

Felix rolls his eyes and extends an arm for her to use as balance. Together, they tackle the cobbled walk at a more stately pace.

Finally able to focus on something other than her shoes, Juniper says, "Follow up question."

Felix closes his eyes, praying for patience.

"Why didn't you just bring Chester?"

Felix stops and stares at the girl next to him.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes?" she responds tentatively.

"Did you not hear the part where I'm seeing Chester without telling them? It might be a bit hard to keep it secret after I bring him as my date to their Christmas party."

Felix begins to walk again, his steps slightly faster and Juniper has to cling to his arm to keep from stumbling.

"Yes, but why is it a secret?"

"That sort of thing isn't permitted."

"Really?" Juniper asks incredulously. "Blimey, your parents are old fashioned."

Felix runs his free hand through his hair in frustration. "It isn't about the fashion. My parents are well aware of my preferences. Unfortunately, preferences are the privilege of the lower classes. Pure bloods have an imperative to procreate."

Juniper makes a noise somewhere between a snort and a retch, and her heels catch in the stones beneath her. Felix has to drag her up again as she tries hard to stifle her giggles.

"Who talks like that?"

Felix shrugs the shoulder not supporting her weight, "It's how it was explained to me."

They graduate from the winding walk-way through the grounds into the smoothly paved front drive approaching the manor itself. Juniper's steps become more confident as her heels click on the even concrete.

"Is it a preference, though?"

Felix furrows his brow, not that she can see in the twilight. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, do you prefer blokes but you could go either way if you met a nice girl?"

Glad for the cover of darkness that hides his flush, Felix replies tersely, "That's rather personal."

Juniper snorts and he can sense more than see her exaggerated eye roll. "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot I'm only your pretend fiancee. I suppose I have to wait 'till after our pretend wedding to ask you personal questions."

Felix sighs. He is asking rather a lot of her this evening and Juniper did agree with equanimity, as she always does. He considers briefly before answering.

"I don't know. I think I just prefer Chester."

Juniper nods. "Fair enough."

She's quiet for a few seconds, then begins again. "So..."

Felix groans out loud. Juniper ignores him. "How long are you planning on keeping this up?"

"What do you mean?" he asks in a tone of weary resignation.

"Well, today I'm your fiancée, but what happens a year from now when we're not married and there's no wedding plans?"

Felix smirks just a little. "Well, one can't plan a pure blood wedding in so short a time. We have at least two years."

"Merlin's pants! Two years? To plan one party?" Juniper exclaims, and Felix can't help but laugh. "Okay then. Two years. What happens in two years?"

"You call it off." explains Felix promptly. "And the whole thing being rather hard on me, there's no way I will even be able to think about marriage again for some time."

"Wow, I really don't come out of this looking good, do I?" Juniper says shaking her head.

They reach the flight of stairs leading up to the grand entrance, and Felix waits while Juniper takes each step carefully.

"Or..." ventures Felix cautiously.

Juniper cocks her head at him as she climbs. "Or?"

"I suppose... if you're willing we could always go through with it."

"Through with what?" asks Juniper, nonplussed.

"The marriage."

Juniper stops at the top of the stairs, removing her arm from Felix's to face him fully, her expression unreadable.

"It would merely be for show." he assures her in a soothing tone. She continues to say nothing.

"And it has some benefits..." he insists.

Juniper finally breaks her silence. "For whom?"

"Well, myself obviously but for you as well."

"Name one." she challenges, folding her arms across her chest.

"Money?" Felix offers.

"Got it."

"Power? My family is very well connected."

"I'm alright in that department as well."

"Well then, a rather more respectable family name?" Felix suggests but he winces as he watches her eyes narrow at him.

"You really want to go down that road?"

From anyone else Felix would consider it an insult but, he supposes, he did draw first blood. And anyway, she's hardly wrong.

He sighs. "I suppose it would benefit me rather more than you."

Juniper crosses the short distance left to the door and pulls the bell before turning back to face Felix again, her eyes taking on that open and earnest quality that both unnerves him and is the reason they've been friends so long.

"Felix, do you know how much time and energy you would have to invest in a show like that to make it work? It's not just dragging someone else along to a party twice yearly, it's half your life! If you can think seriously about marrying another person, even just for show, then maybe you don't love Chester as much as you think you do."

Felix bristles. He opens his mouth to issue an angry retort, but before he can respond the door behind Juniper opens and the outline of a house-elf beckons them into the light and noise.

-

For all her excessive questions and blunt honesty, Felix appreciates Juniper's ability to play nice with his admittedly high brow family. She smiles politely, deflects impertinent questions about her cursed vault history with practiced ease, and does an excellent job of keeping the attention of his parents and their society friends on herself allowing Felix space to breathe. It's the reason he's been bringing her to these events since he graduated school. Juniper makes an excellent shield against the people he has no interest in talking to and the questions he doesn't want to answer.

But Felix continues to be rankled by her earlier pronouncement the entire evening. Every time another oily old wizard sidles over to offer him congratulations on such a fine catch, Felix finds himself more irritated. He has made a fine catch, he thinks, and it isn't the Hogwarts curse-breaker. And for the first time, it bothers Felix that he can't show off the person he truly wants to.

Felix continues to brood through dinner and into drinks afterward. A crafty conversational device by Juniper encourages the party to forgo the separation of men and women into their traditional different salons, in favor of hearing her recount the tale of the cursed vault hidden in a portrait she defeated in her fifth year. Felix knows she's done this on purpose, to spare him the time alone with his father and his father's friends that he so dreads. And while he's grateful, another part of him is irritated. Not with her, but with himself. He wants to work at the Romanian Reserve, Felix thinks furiously, how can he expect to handle dragons if he can't even defend himself against his own parents?

He feels a champagne glass being pressed into his hands. Felix looks up and realizes Juniper has finished her story, and his father is standing near the fireplace clearing his throat.

"I would like to propose a toast." his father addresses the room at large. "To my son, who has finally managed to do something right, and his exceptional fiancee, Juniper Windsong." He lifts his glass smugly toward Felix and Juniper. Juniper lifts hers in response, nodding slightly in polite acknowledgement. As she brings the glass to her lips, she catches Felix's eye out of the corner of hers and gives a little wink. And Felix feels some strange indignant energy take over.

"She's not my fiancee." he announces, setting his glass down firmly on the table beside him.

There's several poorly suppressed gasps from around the room, and a choking cough from the girl beside him.

"She's not?" his mother asks from her place on the sofa.

"She's not?" Juniper repeats, through her coughing fit.

"No." Felix confirms. "Juniper is just a friend. I'm currently..." he pauses, trying to find an appropriate word. "...with someone else." he finishes vaguely.

His father's eyes narrow dangerously. "And may I ask who?"

Felix can feel his heart racing in his chest, and he has to work hard to keep his voice steady as he replies. "His name is Chester Davies."

The room is deathly silent. Even Juniper appears to be holding her breath.

His father's voice is now barely above a whisper.

"Excuse me." It isn't a question.

"Chester Davies." Felix repeats carefully. "He was in my year at school, only in Ravenclaw. He works at the ministry now." And he can't keep the pride he feels from leaking out around his words.

There's the rustling sounds of small, nervous movements from the people in the room, fidgeting with clothes and glasses awkwardly. Next to him, he notices Juniper tilt her glass back and down her entire drink in one long gulp.

"I would like a word with my son." Felix's father says evenly, eyes fixed on his son. "In private."

Everyone in the room moves quickly to the door, desperate to escape the uncomfortable scene. Juniper glances at Felix, her eyes posing a question. His response is a deep breath and a very small smile to say he's as ready as he'll ever be. She returns his smile, her eyes twinkling, and reaches between them to squeeze his hand in solidarity; a gesture his father does not miss.

"That means you as well, Miss Windsong." he says pointedly.

"I would like Juniper to stay." Felix isn't sure where this courage to contradict his father has suddenly come from.

His father looks Juniper up and down disdainfully. "What exactly are you doing here in the first place?"

Juniper meets the older man's eyes, her voice as pleasant as if she were still making polite conversation about the weather.

"Oh, I'm just here as a social buffer."

His father says nothing, but his eyes twitch very slightly.

"And emotional support, I suppose?"

The silence stretches on.

"Comic relief?" Juniper tries to jest, her lips quirking very slightly. Felix chokes on a laugh and turns it into a quick cough. This seems to break the spell holding his father's tongue hostage.

"If you are not my son's fiancée, then you have no business in my house. I bid you good evening."

"She's my friend." Felix says loudly, and his father turns on him in an instant, his voice rising.

"Then the answer is clear! Marry her, fulfill your family responsibilities and do whatever you like on the side as long as your friend-" He jerks his chin toward Juniper, "approves."

Next to him, Juniper folds her arms across her chest. "Blimey, that's twice this evening I've been proposed to, and it's even more romantic the second time."

Both Felix and his father ignore her, too busy staring daggers at each other.

"No." says Felix firmly. "I can't."

"Why. Not." His father enunciates each word through gritted teeth.

"Because..." Felix hesitates for just a split second before plunging on, "I love Chester too much. The idea of spending any time and energy pretending not to, it's anathema to me. I'm all his. I don't want even part of me to belong to anyone else."

Beside him, Juniper covers her mouth with both hands in an attempt to hide her giddy smile and quiet little squeal of delight. Felix finds her display of enthusiasm encouraging. His father does not. He steps forward slowly, hand drifting to his pocket for his wand and Felix stiffens, trying to hold on to his newfound courage.

"Your selfishness knows no bounds." He murmurs venomously, lifting his wand. Felix cannot help flinching, but stands his ground steeling himself for whatever hex his father will throw.

Juniper steps between them.

"That's quite enough." And there's no humour in her voice now. Juniper faces Felix's father steadily. She holds her own wand almost lazily at her side, but Felix is all too familiar with how quickly she can change her stance. "This isn't a school yard and we're none of us children, so you can drop your posturing because no one's impressed. Whatever old fashioned sort of notions you insist on clinging to, you at least have to act like a civilised wizard."

Felix watches with a small degree of satisfaction as his father's eyes widen. He can't remember the last time anyone told off his father. It's possible it's never happened, at least in front of him.

"I will not be corrected by some minor half-blood celebrity in my own home." His father's voice hits that dangerous note that Felix recognizes as the sign that he's about to lose control. He grips Juniper's arm to pull her back, but her feet are planted firmly as if her five inch heels have stuck into the stone floor.

"Then I suggest you correct yourself. Unless you'd like to duel, of course." She challenges, raising her wand. "Although, I imagine, whoever wins or loses, that'll make for a far more interesting story in the gossip column than whoever your son is dating."

She's hit upon his father's only weakness, bad publicity, and Felix waits with bated breath to see how he'll react. He's never seen his father so pale and furious. He takes a violent breath in through his nose and lowers his wand reluctantly.

"Dueling a guest in my own home is beneath me. Particularly, a little girl." He pronounces the words with a sneer. "And you," he flicks his eyes above Juniper's head to his son briefly, as if loathe to look at him any longer than absolutely necessary. "You are welcome back in this house when you are willing to fulfill your obligations to your family."

With the final word securely on his side, Felix's father turns on his heel and marches with dignity from the room.

-

"Well, that's that then."

For once, it's Felix who breaks the silence as he and Juniper step slowly down the paved drive to the cobbled stone walkway again, Felix lighting the way with his wand while Juniper clings to his arm for dear life.

"Yes, I suppose so." she agrees with a breathless grin. "And I must say, the sitting room while everyone was trapped together? Truly the perfect time."

Felix flushes slightly. "I did it, though." he insists, quietly.

Juniper's smile fades a little and she looks up from her feet to Felix's face, his blush illuminated to a rosy glow by the light in his wand.

"Yeah, you did. And I can't imagine how hard it was."

"It wasn't that hard, actually." Felix replies in a would-be casual voice, flicking back a piece of hair from his forehead.

"Okay," Juniper laughs. "Then I can't imagine why you didn't do it earlier and save me all the million questions from your mother about our wedding." She gives a dramatic shudder, and Felix smirks.

"I needed a laugh."

"You need your head examined."

He chuckles lightly as they tread carefully across the uneven stones. Approaching the wrought-iron gate that marks the apparition point for the Rosier property, Felix turns to face the girl next to him, her heels making it easier than usual to meet her eyes.

"Juniper," he starts, then looks away before finishing, "Thank you."

Juniper cocks her head to the side. "Why? I didn't do anything."

"You... made me brave." says Felix quietly, still looking down. He can hear the smile in her voice as she replies.

"No, I didn't. I just made you mad." She gives his hand a slight squeeze. "Chester made you brave."

She's right. That, and the realization that this dreadful evening is over, and he's only moments away from seeing the man he loves causes warmth to spread through Felix, and he smiles.

"Happy Christmas, Juniper. I owe you."

Juniper shakes her head. "Friends don't owe friends." she argues. "I'm happy to help anytime. But, I'm afraid my days as your escort might be at an end, at least for any social events that involve your family. You'll have to find yourself another companion." She says with a wink, and steps through the gate.

Felix's smile widens. "Don't worry. I have the perfect person in mind."

[dionysus-is-my-dude]

Life Update...

look at me, adulting again. cleaned out my email inbox. went from nearly two thousand emails to 12. boom

I applied for my local, very popular university. I spent time more time thinking over how much more I wanna spend on college and how many more years of it I wanna do. I’ve decided that I don’t wanna start over from scratch, so I need to proceed with the Associate’s in Arts with a major in Early Childhood Education that I currently have. I’m gonna finish up and get a Bachelor’s in Education with a major in art education. But oh no, I’m not teaching LITTLE kids. Not after I’ve gotten experience and realized I just can’t entertain them enough. I’m not good with little kids who need to be entertained and taught. I’m just not. So, middle school/high school? YES. Sign me up. Will they be much more petty and lazy? Absolutely. But at least I can get them to work with more mature art mediums and projects than the boring crap little kids make. SO, I already sent my application and sent my transcripts over. Now I just need to fill out a FAFSA, hopefully for the last time, get a tour of campus -which will be virtual-, and see if I’ll get accepted. I’m very confident I will be. My grades were great when I was getting my Associate’s, and though I took more education courses than art courses, I have some experience with several different kinds of art mediums, and I look forward to learning more. I’m really looking forward to these last two years.

I have a little over $2500 in student loans to pay off, and I plan on emailing or calling someone tomorrow, as the pandemic has kinda put off imminent payments right now, but I wanna pay off as much as I can with the money I have coming in from the stimulus, unemployment, and the money my dad gives me. I also have other bills that I’m paying off, but I’m already almost through with them! I should be debt-free by the end of the year! It’ll be such a relief! AAAAnd then I’ll get to pile more student loans on top of it, but I’ll be all right. I feel more capable of making regular payments and managing my money than I did the last few years. My goal this year of being debt-free is already so close at hand, and I can’t wait!

I don’t wanna talk about my family. Sorry if you were hoping for some juicy gossip about my racist asshole of a dad. I’m so tired of him. At this point, he feels more like a boss who’s sort of a father figure than my “dad”.

It’s raining like crazy tonight and tomorrow, so I’ll be home for a while. But I forgot my new gallon of milk in my car and now it’s pouring and I don’t wanna go out in it. If it goes bad overnight, I’ll just get some more tomorrow.

Found a tutorial for my ArtFlow app. Finally found out how to work the “smooth” tool. But it doesn’t blend as smoothly as I’d expected. Doesn’t muddy the colours, but it doesn’t blend very WELL. I wish I could use Procreate, but apparently it’s only available through Apple and I have a Chromebook. ArtFlow works all right, as far as I’ve been able to tell, but I’m just so crappy at drawing right now that I’m still learning the basics. Planning on doing more sculpting and watercolours the next couple days.

As for how I’m handling running a produce stand during the pandemic, we are wearing gloves and masks the entire time we’re there, and especially using hand sanitizer. The city drives by to check on us and make sure we’re following the rules of no eating near the stand, wearing masks and gloves, and having people line up in a certain area to pay. We’re doing all right. Most customers come up wearing masks/gloves, too, but too many are not wearing anything, coughing NOT into their elbow, and not using hand sanitizer. Too many people don’t believe this is really as bad as it is, and it makes me wonder where they’re getting their news from if they believe that. If they lived in Chicago or New York City, they’d be saying different, but because we’re in a semi-small town, they think they’re totally safe here. Like, no, WE have confirmed cases and a few deaths, too. Just because our local numbers aren’t in the hundreds or thousands, that doesn’t mean we don’t have cases and shouldn’t be cautious. The majority of cases in my town are in nursing homes, no shock. People aren’t allowed to visit their loved ones in these homes due to the infection spreading around. And it’s people who think this is all a ploy for the government to control us or some shit and that none of the safety measures apply to them that are spreading this shit like crazy.

I hope all of you are being safe. If you’re working, you deserve much more than what you’re being paid. If you’re not working, don’t hesitate to apply for benefits and ask for help when needed. Wash your hands, cover your sneeze/cough like you were taught in preschool, and avoid going out around people as often as you can. If we’re proactive and listen to what actual doctors are telling us to do, we CAN slow this down.

[siarven]

2019 Recap + 2020 Goals

Soo.... 2020 here we come--Happy New Year everyone! <3 I hope it’s a good year for us all and the world we live in, and that it treats all of us more kindly than the last one did :’)

I haven’t really been very active on here the past few weeks (the holidays were great but also filled with lots of things) and I’m 50 tags behind, according to my emails x) I’ll do my best to catch up! So, for 2020 I’ll try to be a bit more active and share more things and stuff like that. I’ve never done a post like this despite existing on tumblr (in some form or another) since a few days before the mishapocalypse XD those were... days XD So this is my first step in that direction :D

Lots of things happened last year! 

1. As Dreams Collide & (Camps) NaNoWriMo

Dreams became a trilogy! Those are temp covers, but they were still a lot of fun to make XD ... back in april. Forgot to upload them x)

I finished the second draft of Dreams in January, and then proceeded to spend the rest of the year figuring out more of my worldbuilding, adding Elinor as a POV character with a new subplot, and changing some other major things about the story and characters :3 So even those who read Draft Two will probably be surprised by some of the changes :D

I also started writing the Draft Three during November/NaNoWriMo, and finally figured out how the new subplot and Elinor’s involvement would shift the events of the story! And I wrote 35k of words that I still like! Which I’ve edited a bit, sure, but I still like them. (We won’t talk about the rest of the 126k, they’re trash xD but they helped in figuring things out, so that’s ok)

My plan for 2020 is to finish Draft Three and get Dreams to a point where I can start editing instead of rewriting (and throwing it at everyone who wants to give me some feedback) <3

2. Hope Beyond & Inktober

I also participated successfully in Inktober last year! And actually managed to make art on all days for all prompts!! IN INK!!! Despite there being a conference to attend!! I never managed to actually do that before, even though I tried two times, and I also wrote short stories for some of the art! :’) I love Hope Beyond so much, ahhhhh :’)

And the best thing about it was that I developed my newest WIP through inktober, and that its characters have truly become people in my mind, and that there are so many wonderful creatures I didn’t know of before <333 I doubt I’d have had all of these ideas without it :D

My goal for 2020 is to make a detailed outline for Hope Beyond, and to create concept art of the characters, creatures, and locations! And, most importantly, to find the style for the comic aspect, and to get Hope Beyond to the point where I can seriously start making/publishing it in 2021. My plan regarding the publishing is to do so weekly on wordpress and tumblr @hopebeyond :) Which is why I will need a good plan beforehands :D

Also, if you want to see the inktobers properly (and read the short stories!), here’s my inktober tag <3 

3. My art

I know I used that pic in the inktober collage, too, but it’s just one of my fave artworks from last year and this is my post so :’)

Art-wise, I did a lot of things last year, even if it was less than I wanted. Not sure how much progress I made, but there must’ve been some ;D

I also graduated from uni! Post-graduate life is scary but despite all my various crises I am probably going to figure things out. :’) life only goes forward, after all. 

I have a ton of art-goals for this year! 

First of all, I am going to try to participate in a procreate art challenge called Making Art Everyday by Lisa Bardot and it will probably kill me but I hope I’ll also learn a lot. And that’s another thing! After a year of not getting along with it, I have finally tamed procreate. :’) There’s a lot of art I did over the holidays, in various mediums, and I can’t wait to show you! 

The biggest thing will be to make a proper concept and illustration portfolio, and I’m going to combine that with my hope beyond things, so I hope I can show you all of that during the coming months :3

Also, I think I am now going to actually use that art collection tumblr I made a while back, and upload art from there, so it’s easier to find. Not sure if it’ll make a difference but we’ll see :) It’s @siarvenart ! Hope to see you there, too <3

As for the decade... 

That’s my art progress from 2009-2019! I came pretty far, I should say :D And I took a detour over realistically copying portraits/animals with pencil on my way to draw things from the imagination again, I guess :’) Still shocked at the pencil things I did, back between 2013-2014. That captain jack sparrow one was january 2013 and the dean winchester one in summer 2014, after I’d graduated from school... quite a skill-leap. But then again, what else can you do when school is boring but spend 10-20 hours drawing portraits xD

I’m glad I’m now firmly in the “draw your own thing instead of copying photos” area (since end of 2015, I guess) but it’s a lot of work and I wish younger me had sat down and learned the basics like perspective and anatomy because then I wouldn’t have to learn all of that stuff now XD 

Practise does pay off :) this call-out is directed @me, specifically, but also everyone else who needs the reminder

I’m tagging some mutuals and friends below the cut <3 Thanks for all of your support <333 It means a lot :’)

I guess I will now try to catch up to the things I got tagged in over the past month. :’D

@wilde-writing | @madmoonink | @lynnafred | @prismalicht | @sincerestaffect | @romenna | @zekethegm | @random-stuff-thrown-into-a-pot​ | @asttralhell​ | @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword | @kittensartswriting​ | | @raiswanson​ | @ettawritesnstudies​ | @writingwordsanddrawingpictures​ | @fatal-blow | @fynniana​ | @consciousdreamz​ | @corishadowfang​ | @raywritesblog​ | @kainablue​ | @afragilestrongsoul​ | 

[moldy-mold]

Diary Post: My Thoughts and Processes on Making “Silent Strength” It’s lengthy, taking place over long period of time. Mainly written for my future-self to remember what I went through, but also for anyone who is curious. Now that the project is over, I can post without reservations. There are certain things I need to keep secret though, so if I’m vague I do so intentionally!

Basically, a lot of number-crunching, physical labor, and psychological labor.

It started off as kind of a joke tweet I made. I had enough content to make a Tales Of art book and people were receptive to it. So… I thought maybe I could go somewhere with this. A few weeks later, I suddenly had a lot of Kratos art. Like. 80% of all my Tales art was Kratos. It didn’t make sense to make a broad Tales Of book when really most of it was Kratos.

I hadn’t made a book since I was in college despite it being one of my favorite things to do. They were never art books, just some editorial design projects that totally didn’t count. This book… would be my first-ever art book.

Several times, I came close to having enough art to print a book - the last time was my large collection of Yusuke Kitagawa, but the quality wasn’t where I wanted.  At that time, I was still experimenting with my iPad Pro and figuring out Procreate, so that was what I used him for.

NGL, I was pretty afraid of looking like a clown. After doing all this work, what if no one actually buys it? I was talking to some friends and they said they would buy it. It was enough for me. In the end, I’m creating something that I love. - The first thing I really wanted to work on was the cover. It needed to be epic but also mysterious (lol)… It was a good time to practice lighting and backgrounds. The cover had to be freaking Fantastic. I spent 3 days drawing nonstop. I was on vacation so I could spend full days just drawing. It was really intense. I would stop in the evenings to go for a run or else my legs would never get circulation again.

The hardest part was keeping it secret. I wanted to share it with the world right away bc I was so proud of it. Well, all I could do was show it to my parents and some close friends. They didn’t know who Kratos is, but it was obvious I was crazy about him.

Initially, I was doing some hand-lettering for the zine title instead of using a typeface. Tbh, I was so sure I was naming this zine “Blame Your Fate!” bc that is such an iconic line. But it just didn’t work with my cover, which looked… a little too serene for that. So… Silent Strength or Divine Strength? I asked around and got my answer.

But what size? All of my art has been on letter canvases. I wanted it to be large so you could see the details in the art. I’ll just start with that. - Luckily, I had all my Kratos-related art in one place. I started my InDesign file and threw everything in there just to see what it looked like. Man, I draw a lot of boxes… But I didn’t want them all next to each other. I also wanted to kinda organize it by the people Kratos hangs out with. There’s a Yuan section LOL… and a Lloyd section… and an Anna section. Idk, I tried to get some kind of order in there with a sprinkling of full spreads here and there to keep it fresh and interesting for the eyes.

I hadn’t worked with InDesign on such an intense level since college. I forgot all of the tips and tricks we learned in class. Spent some time reading on how to do things again… like adding page numbers. - I started drafting my pre-order form. It’s my first time making a google form like this. It’s kind of fun? I spent a long time on it, despite how simple it was. This was going to be my “Store” so it had to look and sound good. - My friend introduced me to charm-making. It seemed easy enough, and I wanted to give my zine more oomph. Besides, I’ve always wanted to make a charm.

I remember someone saying they’d buy a book of just the 4 Seraphim if it existed. I like them too and they lack art imo. In the end, I decided to do a polaroid charm. It’s not really that unique but I wanted Kratos to have actual friends to hang out with for once LOL.

She was going to do a group order to try to reduce the costs. I thought maybe 4 weeks would give me enough time. In the end she said I only have 2. I work well under pressure, so needless to say, I did make that deadline. I actually sketched the whole thing on the plane headed home. - After playing the game the second time, watching the OVA again, and reading “Offerings to a Star,” I have gained a real soft spot for Yuan.  My friend once said, “If you weren’t stolen away by Kratos, you would be in love with Yuan.” Lol. I’ve been in a “Kratos and Yuan hanging out” mood lately, so of course I needed something good for the zine. They’re so cute together! Now… what is the bro-est thing I can draw?

I was currently in Florida for my friend’s wedding. I was friends with the groom and his best man since high school, so that makes it 10 years now. Seeing how they’re still friends after all this time, despite living in opposite sides of the country, was really moving to me. Of course, me being me, I could see Kratos and Yuan’s long friendship being similar to this, if they had gone to school together. I just had to draw it. - When I got back from vacation, I did some research on zine sizes. Mine was HUGE compared to others. I just didn’t quite realize it until I held a magazine in my hands. It really is huge…

I settled for a medium size. 7x9. I really liked how it looked. Petite but not too petite. Unfortunately resizing my book had messed up my artwork placement so I spent hours rearranging all the text and resizing my images. I found out afterwards that there’s a way to retain the format while changing the document size. Gee, that would have been helpful 4 hours ago.

Sadly, choosing a custom size booklet makes printing more expensive. But I wanted it badly enough that I’d be willing to pay for it. Letter size is just too large… - I decided to stop dragging my feet and post a promo. I just really needed a deadline for myself to get this all done before July ended. I’m happy it was well-received. A lot of people like Kratos huh…

Anyway, the pre-order is due in a week and I still don’t know what all the costs are yet. I need a physical proof ASAP to weigh at the post office! - Something possessed me one day to do another drawing. I don’t usually do painterly style (mainly because it’s really difficult and takes 10x longer) but I just REALLY wanted to push myself on this Final Piece to the zine. I wanted it to be… radiant. Almost religious. I worked on it obsessively. From breakfast to sundown. The only time I would stop was at 7pm to go running or else my legs would give out on me.

Call me crazy, but I would save my progress on my phone so I could examine it for errors during my warmup. I also spend an hour examining it for errors before going to bed. It’s a miracle I hadn’t dreamt of the painting. - I sent my files in on Sunday in hopes that they start working on it first thing on Monday…. and it HAPPENED! They finished before I even woke up. I think they start work at like 6am…

Of course, I drove over there as soon as I heard so I can get a look. “Please… please let the colors be okay,” I prayed as I was driving. I barely remember driving there, I was so lost in thought. It would be another long ordeal if I had to fix all the colors.

Thank the stars. The press proof looked BEAUTIFUL!! I was screaming to the client coordinator how much I loved it. I mean, I worried for a looooong time that everything would turn out too dark (it usually does) but it was PERFECT. I was especially worried about the cover, which contained a lot of yellow and I def did not want it to come out mustardy… But it was great in the end!

The press operator is a quiet man. He’s got a scary face and never smiles but I think he’s secretly nice. He has done a lot of favors for me in the past without my asking. He was the one to print, bind, and trim the book for me. Obviously he had to have seen what I was drawing. I wonder what he thought of it…? He walked away before I could express how happy and thankful was. He didn’t need to hear it. It was like he already knew. So cool…

I immediately took it to the post office to weigh it. I needed as much info as I could get and plus, I was dying to know for myself. This is the week I was supposed to open pre-orders and there was still a lot I needed to do. Take pictures, create mockups, pricing, etc.

NGL, all of these costs were building up fast. It was so darn expensive to make a zine while also keeping prices down. But I wanted so much more for my baby. Extra glossy cover, perfect binding!! I knew by the end of this, I probably wouldn’t make much money. It hurt a little, but I tried to think that it was for the greater good. Learning experience and all that. And creating something beautiful. Especially something beautiful of Kratos. - Pricing was really the hardest part. I pretty much threw profit out the window. However, I definitely did not want to be losing money. My dad and I had worked together to create a spreadsheet of expenses to make sure my head was above water. I followed it… loosely.

My friend came to talk to me at the right moment. I was sort of panicking at the prices. She made me realize I was thinking way too hard about it and gave me some tips based on her own experience. It really put my mind at ease talking to someone who understands my woes.

The truth of the matter is, the book is wonderfully made and has a lot of pages - countless hours of drawing. There is only so much I can do about pricing. It is what it is… I just needed to come to terms with my own worth. - Boy, what am I going to do once the zine is done? My friend says that I’ll be so over Kratos that I’ll stop drawing him (but the love remains). It’s like… all of the intense planning, working, struggling nonstop will just suddenly… stop. TBH, I’m running out of ideas. I spent it all on the zine. - Photoshoot today. I had to paint my nails purple for this occasion. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the look I wanted in the apartment. It’s just so naked without props. I think I’ll take it to a cafe for some nicer backgrounds. I talked it over with my friend and decided to do a quick flip-through of the zine as a promotional video. I used the most professional video program I had on hand… Snapchat. It actually turned out pretty legit and of course I slapped stickers on there because it’s Snapchat.

I had to tape/hide some of the pages for the video because I wasn’t actually done with the drawings. I had the printers print it anyway so I could examine it for color accuracy.

I’m really stressed about pricing now. It turns out I had a lot more international fans than I anticipated. I wish I took notes on interest earlier in the game to cater to them. I had a list of “possible buyers” and I only just now decided to check where they live? Foolish.

I did another cost analysis on paper to figure out what my goal was to make up for the charms. Right now they’ve cost me a fortune for something that was supposed to be giveaway. Other things that rack up are packaging costs, PayPal fees, and some other supplies I needed for this project.

Maybe I shouldn’t have made it 40 pages. It is an impressive number, but no one is really paying for quantity. I think 25 is a better number lol. If I had done that, I could have had my super-gloss cover like I wanted. :’(

There is hope though. And I’ve placed it in the hands of my followers to come through for me. I think I’ll open pre-orders on Saturday or Sunday, depending on what I finish. - “Losing your cool will only lead to poor decisions.” 
Thanks, Kratos twitter bot. You always know what to say.

I read this post today on what makes people buy zines. Very interesting!
 https://twitter.com/andythelemon_/status/1141469048653398019 - Photoshoot part 2 today. My friend and I went to a cafe nearby that had some nice atmosphere in hopes of finding the right shots. I brought all of my Kratos merch just in case. I’m glad I did though, since the tables were pretty sparse and it was difficult to capture the backgrounds without getting a bunch of random people in it too.

I would have been the photographer, but I definitely wanted my hands in the shots. In a way, it was meaningful - to show that this was made by my own two hands. Plus, I wanted to depict natural interaction with the product. It made it feel real.

The photos were cute! I feared it would look a little amateurish with all the merch in there, but I think fun was what I was really going for, not “professional.” And plus the flip-through was a Snap anyway LOL. As long as the photos have good lighting and tasteful composition, you really can’t go wrong with “fun.”

Now that I’ve finished editing my photos, there really isn’t anything holding me back from opening pre-orders. I’ve pretty much come to terms with my pricing. If I fail to break even, I’ll just have to open commissions to try to make up for it. I was telling my friend on the way home, “I gave this zine EVERYTHING I had to give. So at the very least, I won’t be disappointed in myself.” No stone left unturned, no detail left unchecked. It was perfect according to my standards. I really love my zine okay?!

I thought I was crazy for not only choosing a small fandom, I narrowed it down even further by picking ONE GUY to make this zine about. She replied, “Even if it’s small, those people who love him now must be EXTREMELY LOYAL to still be in love with a character from a 15-year-old game. All of them will want your zine.” - I went to bed that night with the intention of making the pre-order post live in the morning. I was so nervous I couldn’t sleep. I was wide awake until at least 5 or 6 am. Luckily, I was able to doze off for a an hour or two before I would shake myself awake again. It was a mixture of anxiety and excitement. It was the moment of truth - to see if all my effort made a difference. Was it going to sell? - The pre-order post looked really freaking good. I’ll give it that. I even made a YT account just to post that darn preview video on tumblr lol. It was definitely fun seeing everyone’s excitement and we all just freaked out together.

I broke even! That’s what really matters. Honestly at this point, I couldn’t care less if I made profit or not. I now know how much people really like the zine and that alone made me so happy I could die.

I was particularly fascinated at Google Form’s ability to transfer all the data collected into a spreadsheet. That is extremely helpful. I spent hours organizing the data. It was really fun…?! Now I can tell who gets invoiced and who paid and separate them into categories. IT’S FANTASTIC!

Stayed up late researching how much adding tracking could be. I had a slight panic attack thinking “what if my books got lost in transit?” It would really hurt me to have to reprint books and ship them again. And then I realized I will need to fill out customs forms for all international orders. Yikes, I’m gonna be living at the post office lol. You can print them out at home if you fill out the form online but there are still some things I’m uncertain about. I may visit the post office later this week to ask all my questions. - This morning I sent out everyone’s invoices. I gave the international people the option to purchase tracking. It’s expensive… but I need to provide that option just in case.

I received a nice message from someone who offered to advertise for me on Instagram. Of course, I gave them the OK! I’m really so shocked they would do that… They said the liked the zine so much it deserved more exposure. My dude… I love you… T_T

I thought about advertising on insta myself earlier in the week. For some reason I felt it was going to be fruitless since I don’t have an art account on there with a following. So, I gave up on the idea. Hey it worked out in the end.

I’ve never been so organized in my entire life. I want this zine experience to be perfect. The people have placed their trust in me, so I cannot mess up. - Edited some pages in the zine. The typography must be perfect… It made me think back to undergrad days in graphic design school. Man, if only I can present this as a project - photos, videos, matching accessories and all. I’d probably get an A lol. - Orders slow down after the first day. The rest is just about getting new people to see the post and giving other people more time to decide.

I finished my Kratos stationery today. It’s going to be so cute. My friend said people would want to buy it but I don’t have it in me to do more products at this time. Plus, I want it to be a surprise.

Why make stationery? Well my real job (no, I don’t draw Kratos all day for a living) is a stationery designer! It would feel really wrong not to put into practice what etiquette I’ve learned in this business. Plus, I felt that it was necessary to properly thank all those who ordered. And it’s fun?

I started designing the shipping labels for the domestic orders since I don’t need to fill out a customs form for those. I wish I had sticker labels but… it’s okay. It will still look good in the end. - Every so often, I would get nervous at the amount of money I’m responsible for. Perhaps, if I had a store with existing products I wouldn’t feel this way, but the fact that the books haven’t been printed yet made me scared. I know, I need this money to even print the books in the first place, but I’m just baffled at my customers’ trust in almost a total stranger. I felt pressured that I could not let them down and lose that trust. It probably didn’t help that I watched a documentary on Elizabeth Holmes (Theranos) that day.

So, I prayed every single day that nothing would go wrong. I’d check my spreadsheet constantly for any mistakes. It was a little obsessive, but I would rather be that than overlook something.

I began collecting cardboard boxes. My plan was to cut them up to protect the books during transit. I would have preferred hard envelopes but they were a bit pricey. If I have to do more work myself, so be it.

I’ve been getting nice DMs from some buyers. I think my invoice due date scared them… I really did not intend to be strict, but I wanted people to pay now if they can rather than forget about it. This happens at work all the time, so the best thing to do is have it due immediately. It would not look good to have to wait on stragglers when I close pre-orders, so I’ll probably reach out when there is one week left. - My Kratos stationery arrived! Aww it is SO CUTE!!! My babies… I have a lot of notes to write so I got started right away. It’s going to be a lot of work trying to come up with creative ways to say “thank you,” but I don’t mind. I said I was going to put my all into the zine experience so I will.

At long last, the charm order has been put in motion. My friend said it could take a while… I hope it won’t be longer than 3 weeks. I really do not want to keep everyone waiting. I may ship out the ones who did not win a charm first. I mean, there is no reason to make those guys wait. I should ask the charm winners if they still want to wait and see if anyone wants to give it up for someone else who is more patient. Hm. - I finally stopped by the post office today to collect customs forms. I have my work cut out for me since I’m filling all of them in by hand. D:

I’m not used to international addresses so I think I’ll ask for help in checking them for spelling errors and typos. Heaven forbid I mess up on the very last part of the zine experience.

In my nervousness, I decided to reach out about invoices early on. If someone wanted to cancel, I would rather find out sooner rather than later. Everyone was really nice about paying and thank goodness they’re still excited.

Feeling kind of overwhelmed by all the things I need to do, but it’s a good thing. If I don’t know what to do, I can either: cut cardboard, write letters, type shipping labels, draw more Kratos for a… possible volume 2? Someone I talked to today already said they’ll pre-order a second book if I make one. Omg I think I’ll die. But we’ll see. It’s just a joke right now haha… - Preorders end today. I had another nightmare last night that the books could not be printed properly and there was nothing I could do. Why do I keep getting nightmares about the zine! I had one a few days before about people canceling their orders when I asked them about the invoices. I’ll take these dreams with a grain of salt. I’m probably just stressed/worried but everything is going to be okay. When I open my eyes, nothing is on fire.

I received my final proof a few days ago. With all of the artwork completed and changes applied. The book looks good, no doubt about it. There was only one thing I was nit-picky about but it can be fixed. The press operator offered to print another book for me to inspect. I’ll go see it on Monday and then submit the rest of the orders. I also asked to to have a meeting with the press operator so we are on the same page. It would be beneficial to have an understanding of how my book is made so that I may be more helpful to him.

I spent the day preparing shipping labels. I hate to admit, I am not too familiar with the format international addresses so I had an address validator open as I was typing them in. For the most part, everyone was helpful in already formatting their addresses in the preorder form! - My parents called me the day after preorders were closed. They wanted to say congratulations on my success. No one thought it would do this well. I couldn’t be offended by that since I was also guilty of it. I’m happy though. It feels like my love spread across the world and was contagious.

I tried to think of what advice I would give to others. Obviously, genuine love for the subject and hard work were a necessity. But it would be good to consider value. If I were selling it at this price, I had to make sure my pieces and presentation looked the part. I ask myself, if someone else sold it, would I buy it?

I sent out messages to all the charm winners in the morning. I wanted to apologize profusely at the ridiculous amount of time it has taken to get them made. But no, I’ve got to stop apologizing. I stated the facts and left it at that. Everyone was really kind and patient⁠—to which I was thankful for. I don’t usually get that when I’m working customer service. - All the books were done printing in one day. Wow! I went to pick it up immediately of course. I can’t believe all of this is coming to an end. I finished preparing the mailers. All that was left was to stuff and seal the domestic orders. They were the easiest to do so I’m going to ship those first. The rest will need customs forms, which I haven’t filled out just yet. It’s going to be a while for those…

The mailers were quite sturdy with the cardboard cutouts I slipped in them. I have nothing to worry about. I’m sure my babies will be okay! - I took a whole box of domestic orders to the post office today. Wasn’t sure what to expect. But my clerk had to input every single address one at a time while I checked for errors. Omg, why are the post office shipping labels SO HUGE. I thought it was going to be half the size. And they’re ruining my designer labels! Slight panic but oh well…

I had a long long line behind me. I’m so sorry, people. Luckily there were two clerks or I would be really sweating. Despite my intimidating box of zines, the clerk and I had Synergy and we managed to ship all of these in about 15 minutes. I received a very long receipt and quite the bill lol. - Shipped the international orders today. I was kind of a mess since I had no idea what to do. I keep wondering if I can help speed up the process in any way but I don’t think I have the option to ship first-class at home.

When shipping international, keep the post office copy of the customs forms together with the package since they use that to type the address info into the system. Also, we get free tracking, which I did not know about. The other clerk told me that we did not get tracking for international first-class but I guess he was misinformed. It’s good to know for next time. - The charms finally arrived!! And THEY’RE HOLOGRAPHIC?! It was pretty awesome, but it makes picture-taking kind of difficult!! Anyway, I was a tiny bit disgruntled that they got my order incorrect, and I even asked for a reprint. But they said no, so I left it at that. Besides, it seems the holographic effect was well-received.

I like this size that I made. It’s really cute! Larger than your normal charm but not too huge. It’s almost like an Instax photo! - There was one customer who I found lives near me! I asked her if she wanted me to hand-deliver it to her in a public setting and she agreed (to my amazement). We finally met a few days ago and talked for hours and hours lol! I’m glad to have finally made a new friend here in this town but of course she’s moving away in two weeks. <:’3

We’re going to meet again to make the most of her time left. - I shipped the rest of the orders on the following Monday. I HAD to get these out. The poor guys have been waiting over a month! I think I picked a bad time to go because I had a huge line behind me and only one guy working. People in line were getting antsy or mad. The clerk at the other post office was super fast but not this guy…

For some reason shipping to the UK and Japan nearly doubled in price since the last time I checked. RIP. T_T - Omg I finally made a mistake. I wrote a letter to the wrong person. And the contents of that letter are too personalized!!! I am dying of embarrassment!!!!! Screams!! Had to apologize to both customers too!!! Luckily they were good sports about it but I’m seriously kicking myself AAAAAAAA!!!! - The most rewarding part after sending all my babies away is seeing the commentary on my project. It is so so nice to receive positive feedback. People are happy! Happy with something I created out of thin air. Everything was worth it 1000 times over. I can die happy!

I’m especially thankful to those who show understanding for how much effort went into it. It definitely wasn’t easy and I poured way too many hours into it… not that I regret that.

I don’t want to jump the gun but I would really love to make a volume 2. Because I know I can do better than last time. New and improved art and comics! But we’ll see if I make enough pieces for another book. I was against printing 40 pages before but now I kind of like it. It feels more worth it than a 25-page zine. If i’m going though so much effort, might as well bring in the entire package.

I’ll be printing more of this volume for Aselia Con 2020. Now I know people will appreciate it.

[38sr]

i love your art style so much! i completely forgot that i’d followed you, but i saw once of your klance comics on my dash and thoughts it was sooo good! 😋 anyway i’ve been going through your blog all morning and it’s just so amazing and your art style is so cute! i would literally buy comic books from you! anyway, i do traditional art a lot and haven’t really gone into digital, but i kinda really want to nowadays.. any advice for just starting out? (tablet suggestions, marketing, etc.) 😊

Hello and thank you so much for the compliment! It’s going to be a while since a lot of planning, writing and drawing needs to be done before I can print the comics, but I’m happy to hear that you would buy. ^^

Advice about starting digital drawing….there’s so much this post could become a novel! But I guess I’ll start from the main thing: software and tablets.

Software

Okay, so, there are a lot of different programs for digital drawing and it might take a while before you find the one that works for you. Most artists that I know of either use Photoshop, SAI, CSP, or Procreate. As of now and for the last 3 years, I’ve been using Clip Studio Paint (CSP for short) for both my digital illustrations and animation. CSP is kind of like…a Mac version of SAI if that make sense? There’s so much to the program but it’s not as daunting as Photoshop. Also! Right now, they’re having a Black Friday Sale, so, the program cost only $25 for the whole weekend. It’s far more affordable than Photoshop and you can do the exact same stuff without having to take out a loan or something haha. Also, Photoshop isn’t and was never meant for digital drawing since it is originally a photo manipulation program. You can still use it for digital drawing if that what suits your tastes, but SAI and CSP are specifically made for digital drawing so the interface, brushes, and all that stuff were made and designed for the digital drawing. However, SAI is only for PC users. If you’re a Mac user (like me), I would recommend CSP. But if you don’t have money, there are free programs as well! Medibang and Krita are free drawing programs and are just as good (and I would argue good dupes) for SAI and CSP. I would suggest trying out the free programs before making a purchase for CSP, SAI or Photoshop though. Going from traditional to digital is an odd feeling so it’d be such a waste if you spent money and found out that digital drawing isn’t for you, ya know? 

Tablets

Alright! So, here’s the thing about tablets: buying the most expensive one isn’t always the right choice. There are plenty of tablets that are far more affordable than a Cintiq. Also, you’re only starting out so I would never advise to go out and buy a $1000+ tablet when you don’t really know if you like digital drawing yet. My first tablet was a Bamboo tablet by Wacom and it was only $100 (at that time). I would suggest buying a small tablet like the Wacom Intuos Small or a Huion since their prices normally are under $100. There are some mid range ones ($200-$300) like the Intuos Pro and XP-PEN that perform just as well as a Cintiq but I wouldn’t buy those unless you were really starting to think about working as a digital artist.

For digital artists, tablets are an investment. I currently own a Cintiq 13HD and iPad Pro but one is for personal use (iPad) and one is for work (Cintiq). Since I mainly do computer animation and digital illustration as my job, I needed to get a tablet that performed better than my small Bamboo Intuos. Also, I needed one in order to improve my workflow and efficiency. So, don’t go out and buy a Cintiq. Try out a smaller tablet. Or even better, if you have any friends who have drawing tablets, ask them if you can try them out and see if you like the feel of it. 

Tips/Advice for Digital Drawing

Okay so I’m just list off certain things I’ve learned along the way that I wish I knew when I first started digital drawing haha.

1. Take the time to learn your drawing program. Learn the interface, the hot-keys, shortcuts, tools and customize it to your liking for optimal efficiency. 

2. Use references! It’s okay to use references!

3. Don’t compare yourself to other artists. You’re only just starting so it’s not good to compare yourself to someone who has had more experience at digital drawing than you. You’re going at your own pace and that’s okay.

4. Your first drawings are going to be bad, and that’s okay. Sometimes you gotta make a hundred bad drawings before you get a good one. 

5. Be willing to try out new techniques and different methods.

6. Flip the canvas while you draw, don’t wait until you’ve finished the drawing. Flipping the canvas can help find inconsistencies.

7. Layers are your friends! You have friends, right? You know their names, right? So how come you don’t remember your layers’ names? Label your layers so you don’t end up sketching on the wrong layer!

8. This is if you own a Cintiq (or something similar): If you’re right-handed, customize and put all your hot-keys and shortcuts on the left-handed side of your keyboard. If you’re left-handed, put it on the right side. Efficiency boosted by 1000%.

9.  Have fun! Draw what makes you happy!

Lastly….marketing….well, I don’t really do that? Ah, it’s one of those things I’m not sure what to say cause even I don’t know if I’m doing it correctly haha. Or at all. But if you’re looking to establish a following centered around your art, I noticed there are 2 types of digital artists: the one that solely makes original content (OCs and their own stories) and the other one that makes fanart. Now, there are a variety of different digital artists. I’m just saying these are the most 2 common types I see. I’ve noticed…that if you make fanart…you’re more likely to gain traction faster. Since fandoms are such a huge thing now on social media, it’s easier for your art to get noticed if you draw fanart from a popular show, movie, game, etc. However, this doesn’t mean that if you don’t draw fanart you won’t build a following. In fact, there are tons of artists who solely create their own original content and hardly draw fanart but have a following that’s 10x bigger than mine. It really comes down to what you want to do. Actually, you can do whatever you want as long as you are enjoying it haha. If drawing fanart makes you happy, go for it. If drawing your OCs makes you happy, go for it. Personally, I love drawing fanart cause I enjoy creating scenarios and comics of my favorite characters outside of canon. I do have OCs and stuff, but I hardly post them cause they’re a bit more personal (and also I think no one would be interested in them haha). But yeah…I just think you should draw and make work that you enjoy cause that attracts people to your work. Sorry, that was a really long and confusing(?) answer but I hope that helps you haha. 

[spenceraverywrites]

All-Around Goals for 2019

Note: I wrote this on Christmas Eve, a week out from the end of the year. However, if all has gone right and proper, this should go up while I’m either being the big spoon or little spoon with my partner. I’ll try to stop doting on her long enough to check my dash just to see.

So instead of doing, I just wanted to share my all-around goals for the upcoming year.

2018 wasn’t easy on a lot of levels: I lost a lot of people, which made grieving every few months hard. I spent a lot of time and effort on starting the process of healing from years of misdiagnosis of my mental health, and a lot of time on trying to be okay with myself.

I do have to say that I’m proud of myself for keeping faith that I would make it. 

I’ll go on and say thanks for everyone’s support through this past year. I appreciate both your encouragement and patience: that helps make writing and creating much, much easier. I don’t know what 2019 will bring, but I do hope to continue to do my best, whatever that is. 

Now... Read on below the cut to see what I’m up to, and hey, send me a message telling me what you’re going to try and do in 2019!

1. Learn how to do Pixel Art/Spriting

I really, really love pixel art and spriting. It’s beautiful, and it’s a low-fi way of creating absolutely lush art. As of late, it’s my favorite style, whether it’s in my favorite game VA-11 HALL-A or on a scarf. And I’m determined that it’s not impossible for me to learn a new style of creating art, especially landscapes.

As I’ve gotten more comfortable with drawing and creating this year, I’ve found myself branching out. I even tried to branch out into Pixel Art: I got an app on my iPad that will let me do everything, and have dozens of color palettes to work with. All I need to do is be patient with myself and have fun

(Thanks to @rapidpixeladventure for inspiring this goal!)

2. Make a Pokemon Tapestry

So one of my wishes for this Christmas was a loom, and my mother revealed to me -largely because she forgot to wrap it- that she’d gotten me an oversized tabletop loom, which will be fun to haul back to Japan, but will let me work with a very large canvas. It’s glorious y’all: weaving is something I really, really love doing, and have done most of my life. Having this loom makes me feel like such a boss.

Why Pokemon? 

Well, why not? It makes me happy, and 2019 is all about being happy and having things that keep me going, whether that’s relaxing things or things to progress my career as a writer. 

My goal is to produce either a minimalist tapestry using my favorite Poke’s colors (I really love Litwick and Leafeon) or try to actually make a pixel-inspired tapestry.

Lots of pixels this year, yeah?

3. Finish my novella “A Study in Bloomotics” and my novelette “The Kindness of Shadows”

This feels a bit ambitious, but that’s only really because I keep telling myself it’s hard. But writing is something I work at a lot: there’s a bunch of behind the scenes work that I do, and I know that ultimately, I write almost every day and am doing the best I can.

However, these are stories I want to see finished, not because I want to publish, but because I want to see them from start to finish. I already know the bookend bits, but the middle is a mystery, even with my overly detailed outlines.

Also, it would free me up to work on my NSFW writing, and also let me do new stories too!

4. Do a digital Bob Ross Paint-A-Long project once a month

This only occurred to me on my flight to Dallas because what can you do with 14 hours in the air but think? (Sleeping on the plane was hard because there were many sick children and hearing kids vomit makes me feel sad for them because it’s mortifying and uncomfortable for the poor kiddos.)

I’ve decided that this’ll be a Saturday kind of thing: I’ll work in either Procreate or Autodesk Sketchbook on my iPad and record my progress from blank, A3 canvas to whatever Bob Ross helps me create. I’ll try and do a theme each month, and I’ll link to my art and the video: it’ll all land over on my art blog @renejamesart and also on my Pillowfort and other social media.

I figured it’d be much more cost efficient than me buying a lot of acrylics or even watercolors: plus, it’s easier on my hands since I can sit down on my bed with my heat pad for my back and work just as efficiently.

Maybe I’ll make a calendar. Most likely, i’ll just enjoy making something really neat for myself.

5. Create a fictional food compendium (Working Project Title: The Gourmand’s Guidebook to Subterranean Gastronomy)

This is my big, year-long project, starting soon after the start of the year and running until 12/31/2019. My goal is to create at least under one of five categories: drinks, snacks, desserts, main, and breads. That’s incredibly likely to change once I start outlining in the new year.

What isn’t likely to change is the concept of using different strata/levels for food: I hope to go through different parts areas of an underground dungeon that match a specific flavor: in this case, five areas locked to Bitter, Salty, Sour, Sweet, and Savory. I’ll think of creative punny names for each area latter, but I will enjoy this to the max!

I’m not sure what’ll ever happen to this other than me just creating a compendium of fictional foods for a fiction, Etrian Odyssey-esque country. I’m sure there will be short stories to go with each level, and some other work that’ll go into this too.

Ultimately, this is just something I want to create, especially in light of all my food writing. I figure that next year should have things I like: food’s something I like and love, so why not write about it?

[marshmallow-raccoon]

TW: food, alcohol+drugs mention in the superjail section

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Hello, tumblr! So um, I’m very new here, and usually when I start a account I lose motivation. But I realized that I can actually start a blog on here and make money and now I think I am liking this app. I am also blogging so I can find Neurodivergent people like me, as I have autism!

To get to know me, I am doing a 30 day question challenge I found from this site!

For today’s prompt, it is:

“List 10 things that make you really happy.”

Let’s get started! :)

1.) Cooking, Baking, and Food/Drinks in general

(Recipe can be found here)

I really love anything food related, it is my comfort interest! I have an app where I save most of my recipes, and it is quite helpful. If I were to say my favorite food and drink though, I’d say anything cheesy/chocolate-y and coffee! Typical, I know 😅 If you like food, what would be your go to for breakfast?

2.) Drawing

I draw a lot on Procreate, and I believe I have over..yep! 128 drawings. Some are scrapped, but most are finished. That is the beauty of procreate, I guess! I draw a lot of food and food people/animals, as you can see my mascot drawing. Very cute, ain’t he?

3.) Cartoons

I don’t know about some teenagers, but I LOVE cartoons!!! When I’m sad, I watch cartoons to make me happy. When I’m happy, I watch cartoons to be even MORE happy. My most favorite ones are on here, but I have more that I watch!! Like Yellow Submarine (a movie) and Daria for example. If you like cartoons, what are your favorite characters?

4.) Aesthetics!

To be honest, I’m a “Kawaii Cottage” type gal. I like honey n bread, flowers ‘n’ vines, Sanrio ‘n’ Pink Milkshakes, and Unicorns ‘n’ Pastel Oreos! Literally anything that screams Kawaii or Cottagecore style. I’m also wanting to make my own aesthetic with both in it! But I don’t know how to name it. What is your fave aesthetic?

5.) Cute n Kawaii Fashion

There is always something about cute fashion for me, it is just my style! I would be the person who would buy a literal shirt that looks like ice cream (not shape wise, but design wise). It just seems so cute!!

6.) Clone High

Recently I have been on Instagram obsessing over Clone High, and I have made a whole bunch of friends so far! The show is amazing too, my faves are probably Ghandi and JFK. Names feel familiar? Oh, I forgot to mention: most of the people are clones of famous people. Like Joan of Arc, Abe Lincoln, Cleopatra, and more! The most funniest people are my faves, so yeah. I have a link of when they teamed up to get some gals here! Fellow Clone High fans, rise up!!!

7.) Beavis and Butthead

Now here is something you don’t see everyday! A girl who loves kawaii stuff AND B and BH?? IN FREAKING 2020???? We are all human, so it’s normal. Anyway, this show has a whole bunch of golden comedy, and the funniest part is that they never succeed at getting a girlfriend so it’s a plus for the women. I recommend checking it out! It’s really funny, and if a girl who likes kawaii stuff likes it, it must be worth a shot, right?

8.) The Beatles

Their music is a vibe to go through, plus they knew their songs got a beat! That’s why they named themselves “The Beatles”. My favorites are All My Loving, Baby Your a Rich Man, and Think for Yourself! You must be wondering who is my favorite Beatle, huh? Well, Paul and John are! They just uhh..How do I say this....cute? (No I do not ship them and never will, it’s real people. Why would you ship real people?) What is your favorite artist? I’m interested to hear your favorite bands!

9.) SuperJail!

How do you get a shape-shifting warden that loves death and is extremely happy without weed? Yellow Submarine + the craziness of Rick and Morty + a tiny dash of LSD mixed with Smirnoff. That folks, is the Warden! Pretty cool if you ask me.

10.) PLUSHIEEEES

(I do not own this pile, it rightfully belongs to someone else)

I probably own like, 50 plushies over my years. I’m literally 14 and they are still my favorite thing in the world!! They are also my comfort item, my piglet plush is my most famous comfort item. If I see someone else with plushies, I would have a tea party with them and their buddy!!!! That’s how much I like them.

Conclusion:

If you like these stuff, don’t be afraid to send a message! If you have a question about my interests, then feel free to send an ask! I will appreciate it either way, so yeah! That is all for now, it is 1:20 AM and I need some sleep. Goodbye, now! Have a good morning everyone :D

[procreate-brushes]

FREE MegaPack Update #21 (October 16, 2017)

Just added 16 cool new Procreate 4 brushes to my MegaPack as another FREE update! It includes brand-new Procreate 4 ink and paint brushes as well as two harmonic color palettes designed for my new ROSSBOB Wet Oil Paint Series! 😃

You can download my updated MegaPack (version 14.1) via Gumroad, Sellfy, and CreativeMarket.

If you already own the MegaPack, you'll get the updated version for FREE:

Just click the link in your email receipt to download the latest version.

If you purchased your MegaPack via Sellfy or Gumroad, log into your account to find the updated file(s) under "Purchases" / "Library".

This update also includes version P4.2 of the GILPIN (fixed artifacts with bigger brush sizes), an optimized version of the ROSSBOB Paint Knife (P4.1) as well as the ROSSBOB CRUDE OIL P4, which now can be used as a 3-in-1 Multi Brush!

FREE Procreate 4 Oil Paint Multi Brush

If you don't have the MegaPack, you can try this versatile Procreate 4 oil paint/marker brush for FREE: Download my Free Paint Brush Set via Sellfy or Gumroad! 😊

Dee-nice said:

I finally purchased your megapack for myself yesterday, after discovering how much I love using your free brushes since getting procreate a couple of months ago. First, I just want to say, it really is an incredible bargain. all too often I'm too low on funds to purchase new assets. your generosity makes a huge difference for someone like me, and I truly appreciate it.      otherwise, I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you, for all your great work. I've been experimenting with my lovely new brushes one by one since I got them, and I'm simply delighted. the quality of your products is amazing, both in form and function. they each look so good, and they're all easy, even fun, to use. I'm feeling more and more inspired with each one i try, and I already can tell that I'll be using some of them pretty much constantly.      sincerely, thank you, for doing what you do. it's totally awesome, and (for lack of a less cheesy word) inspirational. I've been having so much fun just experimenting with all the various combos and possibilities all night, that I forgot to go to bed. totally worth it.

Thanks so much for your warm-hearted words and kind support, Dee-nice! It makes me more than happy that you enjoy the brushes and my work inspires you! Helping fellow artists and hobbyists with the best tools possible and seeing what you create with them is the best reward.

So please feel free to share your doodles, drawings, and paintings in this thread or tweet @georgvw. It also helps me optimizing the brushes if you share some of your work in progress so I can see how you use them (which sometimes is hard to tell in the finished version).

Wishing you tons of fun (and hopefully not too many sleepless nights) with the new brushes! 😄 –Georg

Everything Procreate

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