#i love my jobs i love being a librarian and working in a nonprofit but both are service-oriented and ask so much of me

[moregraceful]

friendship...good

[enfys-squees]

Job Hunting Advice from a Xennial for New College Grads

Hey there. I’ve been reading some posts from folx who are understandably TERRIFIED and CONFUSED because job hunting is exactly The Worst. I have some pointers to make it less sucky, as someone who’s been through it a number of times in the past 20 years, mostly using online tools (while Gen Xers and Baby Boomers yelled at me to just “hit the pavement”), and who has also been responsible for interviewing and hiring people. I’ll add to this as I think of more stuff. Mostly this is stuff career counselors don’t tell people and I’ve had to figure out on my own.

Where To Find Jobs 1: The Internet

Anymore, job hunting largely, but not exclusively, happens online. I’ve had some really good luck applying for jobs directly through a company’s website and through LinkedIn in recent years. Sites that are intended to be huge job boards for all types of jobs tend to be quagmires, and, in my experience, are kind of a waste of time. BUT there are some specific job boards, like Idealist for nonprofit jobs, and Dice for tech jobs, that tend to be useful, or at least do a nice job connecting you with recruiters.

Where to Find Jobs 2: Recruiters

Recruiters are a mixed bag. They get paid to help find people for jobs, and usually they’re looking for folx with more than a few years’ experience. Some recruiters are tasked with trying to fill jobs that are terrible, so a lot of what they do is try to sweet-talk people into jobs with horrible pay and benefits. But then there are some that can be super helpful in finding you a job that’s a really good fit for you. Your mileage may vary. If you happen to meet a recruiter at an event, it’s worth staying in touch with them, but don’t put all your eggs in that basket. If a recruiter finds you a position, it’s a bonus, but put most of your job-hunting energy elsewhere.

Where to Find Jobs 3: Networking

So many career guidance folx will tell you “network! that’s where all the jobs are!” and they’re correct, but they never tell you fucking HOW to do that. So here’s how.

1. NETWORKING EVENTS: Google something like, “career fair” or “networking event” or “happy hour” plus your particular interest/skill set and location. So, like, “Librarian happy hour North Dakota” or something. Keep the location broad - you may have to travel a bit to find one, depending where you’re located. You can also broaden your search terms to things like “nonprofit” or “government” or “healthcare.” Check for these events on Meetup and Facebook. There may also be groups in your area that meet regularly that you could join. 

2. INFORMATIONAL INTERVIEWS: Is there a particular company you want to work for? Cool. Is there someone there (or at a similar company) doing a job that looks a lot like what you want to do, if not now, but in 5-10 years? Stellar. Find that person’s contact info (may require a bit of research - again, Google-fu, but try not to be stalkery) and send them an email like, “Hi, I just graduated from XYZ and I’m really interested in getting into FIELD. Would you be willing to have coffee/Skype with me sometime in the next month and tell me about your career journey?” People love to tell their stories. Prepare some questions to ask them, like “How did you get started?” “What was the most important thing you learned early in your career?” “What advice would you give somebody who is just starting out in this field?” etc. and then listen. You can tell them a little bit about where you’re at, but generally this meeting should be focused on THEM. After you meet with them, send a followup thank you, and set up calendar reminders every couple of months to tell them hi, maybe share an article related to your field, something to keep you in their brain so that if they have a job opening, hey, they know someone who’s interested. Being a known quantity makes a lot of difference.

Resume Tips

1. Include a section called “Skills” and list every bit of software you are comfortable with. (Pro tip: Microsoft Excel is really, really useful in a lot of jobs. If you don’t know how to use it, find an online course to learn it and put it on your resume. Seriously.) Also good things to include would be if you had to do any accounting/budget management for a job, etc.

2. When writing about your previous jobs, focus on what you accomplished, rather than what you were responsible for. Are there ways that place is/was better off with you there? Did you improve anything? Write about it, with an action word at the start of each bullet point. Something like, “Increased daily sales by 10% over 2 years” or “Ensured tips were correctly distributed among staff” or “Praised for punctuality and dedication.” ANYTHING that shows you, specifically, were good at that thing. You do not have to list every single thing you were responsible for in that job. Unless it’s relevant to the job you’re applying for, don’t bother including it.

3. Ask colleagues/former bosses for letters of recommendation that you can use, then pull quotes from them and put them on your resume in little quote boxes. (This is a good space-filler, but it also shows you’re pleasant to work with.)

4. Put skills and experience at the top; education at the bottom.

5. Bold key words related to the type job you’re seeking. HR reps spend an average of 30 seconds looking at a resume, and they don’t usually understand the job itself but have been given key words to look for. (Hint: Those words are usually in the job description.) Make your resume easy to scan. Think bullets, think bolded phrases, think section headers, think two-column as opposed to one-column.

6. For fuck’s sake, proofread. Have a friend proofread. Read it out loud. Do not misspell shit or use bad/inconsistent grammar.

Cover Letter Tips

1. Your cover letter is your chance to express yourself, especially if you are looking for a job in a creative field. Mix up the formatting. Add colorful headers. Throw in a photo of yourself. 

2. Your goal in the resume is to show you’re qualified; your goal in the cover letter is to reinforce that but also to show why you’d be a good fit for the company and why you want to work for them specifically. Make sure you answer those questions in there, but keep it brief.

Interview Tips

1. Did you know you’re allowed to bring notes to an interview? You totally can.

2. Preparing for a job interview is like preparing to be interviewed for a press conference. You want to make sure you’re clear on your talking points. Think about, and write down, the top 3 or 5 reasons they should hire you for the job, and if you get stuck during the interview, go back to those.

3. If you want extra-special awesomeness points, you can use my secret weapon: the “Why I’m Awesome Sheet.” I created this when I was first job hunting and it has gotten me offers DURING THE INTERVIEW because people were so impressed by it. All you do is you take the job description, break it into bullet points of what they’re looking for, then put 1-2 bullets beneath each one of how YOU fit that thing they’re looking for. This is great for a few reasons:

You’re demonstrating that you’re proactive and willing to go the extra mile to get this job, doing work that wasn’t asked for.

You’ve saved the interviewer the work of matching up the stuff on your resume with the job description, and therefore made their life easier.

It will help you better remember why you’re a good choice for the job during the interview, which will make you appear more confident.

If they ask you the dreaded “Why should I hire you?” question, you just HAND THEM THIS SHEET.

4. Don’t forget to send a thank-you note after the interview to each person who was at the interview. Email is fine.

5. Do not stop looking for work just because you’ve scheduled an interview. Keep several irons in the fire and try to apply for a new job every day if you can.

6. Remember to smile, especially in a phone interview. I know that seems weird, but smiling on the phone makes you sound engaged and positive.

Patience

This may not seem obvious, but people hiring for jobs have a TON of other work they’re responsible for. They are often very slow to follow-up because filling the position is not their #1 or even their #10 priority, most of the time. Expect that it could take several months to hear back on an initial resume & cover letter submission. Expect that it could take a couple of weeks or more to hear back after an interview. Expect it can take several days to get a response to a question via email. This is common. Try not to sweat it. You can follow up to ask where the process is after you’ve interviewed, but don’t do that too often or too quickly. Wait about a week after you’d expect to hear back. 

That said, if they contact you for follow-up, respond as quickly as possible. Don’t let it sit in your inbox for more than 1 day. Seriously. Be professional and careful in how you respond, proofread, etc. but do not let it linger.

Finally, unfortunately, sometimes you will not hear back if you were not selected for a job. Sometimes your resume will go into a black hole, because a lot of companies are terrible to applicants and don’t inform them of status at all. Try not to sweat that either. 

[killchallawishlist]

MODERN DAY AU FIC PROMPTS

☐ business owner T’Challa (or Erik) au

Submitted by @ fuxkswithme   

 ☐ art student/ art major au

Submitted by @ fuxkswithme  

 ☐ high school or College/University au

Submitted by @ fuxkswithme  

 ☐ literally any au of them will make my    day lmao. Librarian, chef, model au, I will be so so happy

Submitted by  @fuxkswithme  

 ☐ no-Wakanda AU: where T’Challa is running a  major company after his father’s unexpected death. trying to manage all  business and family problems and also get through his own sorrow he  accidentally finds out a big family secret. despite it seems very hard for  him to accept the truth about what his father did to his uncle, T’Challa  starts looking for his long gone brother. Eventually he finds Erik, a local  artist who draw, write and speak about history of black people. They madly  fall in love, but one day T’Challa recognizes ring that Erik’s father left to  him.

Submitted by @solveyg  

 ☐ tattoo artist!Erik and  florist!T'Challa AU: I just think it would be so cute, I just imagine Erik  being allergic to flowers but still coming in anyway because the main florist  is stunningly gorgeous and seems to miss all of Erik’s subtle flirting so  that obviously means he has to try harder.

submitted by @anarielle  

 ☐ AU where Erik and T'challa meet in the art  musuem. Erik proceeds to tell T'challa everything about the artifiacts. They  both agree to a proper date and everything falls into place after. Moving in  together, first pet(cat),vacationing together etc. (Probably won’t be related  cause I don’t know how that would work lol)

Submitted by @killmongersqueen

 ☐ Modern day Au

they’re ex college sweethearts

they reconnect at an old classmate’s  wedding

submitted by @baetchalla  

 ☐ Modern day au/lawyer and a businessman

Erik works for a nonprofit and does cases  pro-bono

t’challa’s company is trying to gentrify  the entire neighborhood

erik will not have it

submitted by @baetchalla  

 ☐ harlequin style au

Erik breaks it off after T'Chaka basically  threatens him and let’s him know he has no place in T'Challa’s life

they are both bitter over how the  relationship ended

 Erik becomes a successful business  magnate

and he’s out for revenge 

T'Challa has no idea what’s going on

submitted by @baetchalla   

 ☐ I’d like a fic with t’challa and Erik as the main pairing  where they meet at a club or wherever and have a casual fb thing going where  Erik/ N’Jadaka is the epitome of a fuckboy and everybody and they momma  advise him to leave Erik’s ass alone (of course he don’t listen he has gone  stupid off the dick) t’challa finally sees the light (how? You decide) and  decides to fall back when Erik sees t’challa with (M’Baku or W’Kabi, he  assumes they are together and flips his shit tries to win t’challa back.

Submitted by @aquariss   

 ☐ T’cherik with a jealous t’challa. Maybe an  au where Erik works in an office setting and someone at the job is pushing up  on him/flirting and t’challa takes note. That person always finding an excuse  to text/call about work and it cuts into their time together. Maybe it all  comes to blows at an office party where t’challa is the plus one and  confronts whoever. 

 +1 for it being Linda and +1 for some Linda  bashing.

Submitted by @aquariss   

 ☐ Philanthropist  T’challa and activist Erik and literal  sparks flying because Erik just set fire to something

Submitted by @nobunyaaga  

[blog-researchblog]

Writing the Next Chapter

Personal Assessment

Although I am still quite uncertain about my future, overtime I have come to discover that I never want to stop learning and growing as a person. About a year ago I started becoming familiar with the field of Librarianship and realized that much of the philosophy behind libraries aligns with my personal beliefs regarding freedom of expression and access to information. By answering the questions in the article “7 Powerful Questions to Find Out What You Want to do With Your Life,” I was able to more closely examine my expectations for myself in both my educational pursuits and my future career goals. Whatever I end up doing, I know that I want to have a positive impact on not only my community, but society as a whole.

I have found that I enjoy helping people and hope to make that a main focus in my life going forward. Since school and education in general are very important to me, I think I would be comfortable working in a public school in the future. I like to be up and moving while I work so I appreciate the interactive nature of being a teacher. Although I do not have much experience working with children, I am becoming more comfortable with the idea as time goes on. I hope that in the future I can instill a love of learning and a natural curiosity about life in the children I end up teaching.

One thing I value immensely is personal time, which I may not have too much of working in the field of education. However, I could not imagine working a typical nine-to-five desk job, so I think I could easily adapt to the structure of a school schedule. I like the idea of having off weekends, holidays, and summer, although I do understand that much of this time off will be spent doing professional development and furthering my education. Since Librarianship is such a diverse field, there is still a lot of information I will need to be able to make a concrete decision about my career goals. To find out more about being a librarian, I researched the profession on the website for the Occupational Outlook Handbook.

Consulting the Handbook

According to the “Education, Training, and Library Occupations” article in the Occupational Outlook Handbook, the field of library science is quite broad and covers a wide range of services. In general, librarians assist people in gaining access to resources and information. There are many different types of libraries, including academic, medical, law, business, elementary or secondary school, and public. Librarians are typically required to obtain a Master’s degree in Library Science along with another degree in a specialized field, particularly if working in a special library. School librarians, sometimes also referred to as media specialists, need to be certified as a teacher. Other certification requirements vary by state.

The specific duties of the job vary depending on setting, but typically include researching information, book selection, collection curating, archiving, budget planning, and event planning. Librarians should be proficient in literacy, communication, problem solving, and using technology. In an elementary school setting, librarians are also teachers in a classroom. They teach skills such as literacy, database and catalog searching, literature analysis, and how to create proper citations. They often work with other teachers to create lesson plans and provide supplemental resources to aid in teaching and learning.

Job growth in librarianship is expected to grow at a rate similar to that of all jobs in the nation. The vast majority of librarians are employed in a grade school or academic setting, but other possible places of employment include hospitals, law firms, nonprofit organizations, and government organizations. The median salary for librarians nationwide is around $59,000 as of 2018, but this varies greatly due to location and institution of employment. There is an average of about 15,000 job openings annually across the country for librarians. For a more personal assessment of the job, I consulted with someone who currently works in the field.

Getting an Inside Look

When I first began college, I had no idea what I wanted to study or what my future career goals were. I enrolled in community college as a liberal arts major assuming I would figure it out along the way. By the end of my time there, I realized that I still lacked direction in my educational pursuits. One day I came across an article on the internet about the role of libraries in society, and that is when it clicked. I began researching how to become a librarian, and came across a website that listed Kutztown University as having one of the best undergraduate programs for library science. In that instant, the universe seemingly aligned and I felt like I had found something I could actually see myself doing in the future.

Now that I am at Kutztown, my classes are much more focused towards a specific area of study. I have been gaining more insight into library science and education in general, but there is still a lot to learn that I probably will not be taught in school. In my pursuit to discover more about becoming a librarian, I decided to interview a teacher I observed for two days over winter break as part of my mandatory observation hour requirement. Caitlin Budge currently works at Fogelsville Elementary School as the Library Media Specialist, but has also worked in other schools in and out of the state. She was extremely welcoming and down to earth, so I thought she would be the perfect person working in the field to interview. Due to limitations of time in both of our schedules, this interview took place through email. The goal of my interview was to gain a better understanding of the more behind-the-scenes aspect of working as a school librarian.

Caitlin received her undergraduate degree in library science from Kutztown University in 2010. She then went on to receive her Master’s degree in Curriculum and Instruction from Moravian College in 2018. Unlike my personal situation, Caitlin knew that she wanted to be a librarian since high school when she interviewed her school’s librarian as part of a class project. For her, the most intriguing part of the job was being able to interact with all of the students in a school and not being confined to a specific grade level. She has always had a love for reading, but did not want to be an English teacher so becoming a librarian made the most sense to her. 

Through our interview, I learned that her day actually starts at 8 a.m. even though teachers are not required to be there until 8:35. Before the school day starts, she does bus duty which involves getting the students off the bus and into their classrooms. This is just one of the many responsibilities aside from teaching students that a librarian in an elementary school may have. Caitlin emphasized that she was not initially aware of the extra roles and responsibilities aside from just lesson planning that came with the job.

Having been in Caitlin’s classroom before, I have seen first hand how she teaches and the way she runs her class. The first thing her students do is return their previously checked out books and select new ones. She said that she felt it was important that the students have time to get the books they want even if it cuts into lesson time. This is a prime example of one of the ways that a teacher may have to modify their class to accommodate the needs of their students. For her older students, a typical assignment during class time may be researching information about a particular state or country. Her younger students, grades Kindergarten through second, come to her class at the end of the day. She explained that this is because they need to take their core subject lessons at the beginning of the day when they are the most focused. This adds an extra layer of difficulty to the job, because by the time the younger students come to the library they are a little checked out and ready to go home for the day. To keep the children’s attention and engage them in a constructive activity, the younger grades often do a story time during their class. According to Caitlin, some days this strategy works better than others.

One thing that I was surprised to learn through our interview was that Caitlin did not have much prior experience before starting her career as a librarian, other than student teaching during her undergraduate program at Kutztown University. Caitlin said, “my college experience prepared me very well for this job. It made me knowledgeable about the school library and many of the requirements/duties of a school librarian.” This came as a relief to me because I often feel like I am quite behind and out of touch with the “extra” things I should be doing while in school. Knowing that Caitlin was able to get a job at a school with little to no experience working as a librarian or working with children in general made me feel more confident that this is something I could also be doing in the future, even though I have no background in this type of work.

One thing that Caitlin mentioned a couple of times in our interview was the politics involved in working at a school. She said that it was one of the things she wished she knew more about before entering the field of education. She also mentioned that sometimes she feels looked down upon by the other teachers in the school as she is not a typical classroom teacher. Fortunately, Caitlin praises her principal as being very accessible and offering support when needed. Overall, Caitlin said, “I chose the correct field because I drive to work each day and do not dread going in.” Reading this statement made me realize that I strive to feel the same way about my job in the future.

My interview with Caitlin was very informative and eased a lot of concerns I still have about my prospective career path. I feel slightly less pressure and much more secure in my choices after conversing with someone who is currently where I hope to be in just a few years. This interview has given me a slightly firmer grasp on what types of things to expect in my future. One thing I still want to learn more about is the current societal events involving libraries in this country. To do this, I turned to the internet to search for some popular news articles about public libraries. I came across a headline reading “A Missouri Bill Would Cut Off Aid to Libraries That Allow Kids Access to ‘Age-Inappropriate Sexual Materials’” on CNN’s website.

Libraries in the News

This article, written by Harmeet Kaur, covers a proposed bill affecting libraries in Missouri, bringing attention to the debate over censorship of literature. Under this bill, state funding would be eliminated from any library deemed as lending inappropriate materials to minors. Librarians could also be fined and imprisoned for one year for failure to follow this law. This bill proposes a parental advisory board to be established to determine what materials are age appropriate. The publicly elected board members would also be allowed to remove any materials they consider to be inappropriate. Library employees would not be allowed to serve on this board. The Missouri Library Association and free-expression advocacy groups do not support this bill, claiming it is an attempt to legalize book banning and limit free speech. Supporters of this bill deny these claims.

I chose this article because it depicts a controversial issue that has affected libraries since their beginnings in modern society. I am interested in the ethical aspects of first amendment rights issues and how they impact our society as a whole. Limitations of speech, in any form, pose a threat to the community that libraries specifically work to combat by providing free access to information. I believe it is important for everyone to have access to resources without the fear of persecution, as historically information has been withheld from the public as a form of manipulation and control. It may not seem like a big deal, but limiting the types of resources a child can access opens the door for other restrictions to be imposed regarding free access to information.

As a hopeful future librarian, these types of issues will directly affect me in my line of work. Libraries work to serve the community as a whole, and attempts at censorship are counterproductive to that service. Even in an elementary school setting, librarians have to address book-banning challenges as there will always be parents or community members who are unhappy with certain materials in the library’s collection. It is a library’s duty to provide unbiased access to a vast array of information and resources, not to dictate what people do with that information. It will be my job as a librarian to encourage people to seek information from all different perspectives to educate themselves, so I have to be aware of the outside forces that are actively trying to prevent that from happening. The proposed laws to limit materials based on appropriateness are not only an issue in Missouri; this is an issue that continues to happen in communities nationwide.

This article has taught me that, despite our freedom of speech, this type of censorship is still an ongoing issue in the United States. This article provides a great example as to why it is important to vote as an informed citizen, and to know the policies behind the people who are voted into power. I would still like to learn about any other recent attempts that have been made to pass similar laws. This type of proposed legislature infringes upon our rights laid out by the first amendment, so I am curious to know how this has been received in other areas of the country. I would also like to know more about the selection process and criteria that would be implemented if this bill passes into law. I do know that plenty of books from every genre have been banned in the past, and many of these books hold immense literary value by today's standards. I am interested to see how the view of today’s controversial literature will change over time as our societal values as a whole shift. As a future librarian, I hope to be a part of this ongoing conversation about the access of information.

By Kirstyn Jaeger

[samwinlover-blog]

Through Thick and Thin

Pairing: Sam x Reader  Characters: Sam, Dean the reader Warnings: a little bit of angst, swearing, the reader almost breaks up with Sam  Word Count: 1917 Summary: (by @behindfairies) the reader is dating Sam but doesn’t know about what he really does for a living. When he decides to tell her she freaks out a little, but then eventually decides she will stick with him through anything.  Tag list: @amanda-teaches @myplaceofthingsilove@evyiione @mogaruke@aliensdeservebetter@27bmm@craving-cas @behindfairies @spnfanficpond @amanda-teaches @myplaceofthingsilove@evyiione @mogaruke@aliensdeservebetter@27bmm@craving-cas @spnfanficpond​ @amanda-teaches  @myplaceofthingsilove  @spectaculicious@bambinovak @bambinovak@writingthingsisdifficult@padackles2010 @mamaredd123@milkymilky-cocopuff @iwantthedean@zeppo-in-a-trenchcoat @spntrista @d-s-winchester@just-another-busy-fangirl@winchesterprincessbride@waywardjoy@supernaturalyobsessed@whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname@sandlee44@fangirl1802@kittenofdoomage @evyiione @winchestersmut@purgatoan@mogaruke @therewillbeblood @megansescape @taste-of-dean@leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid  @scarlet-soldier-in-an-impala@deathtonormalcy56@wildfirewinchester @notnaturalanahi@jensen-jarpad@impalaimagining@fangirlextraordinaire@itseverythingilike@jesspfly@lovekittykat21@mysteriouslyme81@mrswhozeewhatsis@aiaranradnay@supernatural-jackles@girl-next-door-writes@spnsasha@27bmm@spnfanficpond @amanda-teaches@myplaceofthingsilove@spectaculicious@bambinovak@writingthingsisdifficult@spn-imagines-to-feel@spn-ficfanatic@cleverdame@saxxxology@jensen-jarpad @keepcalmandcarryondean dancingpanda137 A/N: Part two coming soon! Also I’m thinking about turning this into one of my longer series- like maybe having the reader eventually become a hunter? I don’t know. Also, Crowley is going to be in part two so get excited! As always, feedback is welcomed and appreciated! I hope everyone enjoys:) Love, Sam<3

Masterlist Here!

It was a beautiful late afternoon in Montpelier, Vermont. The sun was shining meekly through the clouds, making the weather fantastically mild. Everything was small, everything was quaint, just like any other day. The life you led wasn’t boring, but it wasn’t extraordinary. You were a librarian, working in the local bookstore from dawn to dusk. Having just gotten off of work, you were hurriedly heading home, stopping long enough to appreciate the sun setting on the horizon of the parking lot. Sam was coming home that night, and you were more than ecstatic to see him.  

You’d been dating Sam Winchester just over two years, and he meant the world to you. But the reality was, you didn’t see him often. He worked for a nonprofit law firm, traveling around the US and taking up particularly difficult cases for free. And, even though you’d never heard of his company before, you’d always secretly loved him for the work he did. You found it admirable, heroic even, that he’d devote so much of his time into helping others. Sam would stop by the house you shared ever so often, sometimes returning with mysterious cuts and bruises he refused to tell you about. And, even though he tried his best to be present and a part of your life, every time he left you found yourself wanting more. Needing more. 

When you pulled up into your driveway, you found his car already waiting in the space next to your own. A 67′ Chevy Impala or the ‘finest car in the world’, as he liked to brag. You knew the car was really his brother Dean’s, who worked along side him helping out when he could. You didn’t know the exact nature of Dean’s job, but you knew it required him to travel around just as much as Sam did. You found yourself fixating on the car as you drove to park next to it. The sleek black hood and gleamingly polished tires, it seemed perfect. The perfect car for the perfect man. 

“Hey! I missed you so much!” Sam greeted you as you walked in the door, immediately picking you up and spinning you around. 

“Hey!!” You responded through fits of laughter. 

“I was gonna cook something- I had all the plans set out and everything.” You frowned as you realized your surprise dinner plans had been ruined. 

“I’m one step ahead of you, babe.” Sam smiled back, while taking your hand and leading you into the dining room. 

Before you sat a candle lit dinner straight out of a movie. The lights were dimmed and flames from the long, elegant candles were the only source of light in the room. On the table, which was set for two, sat the most Italian food you’d ever seen. Your family was Italian, and Sam knew all of your favorite dishes. A fresh looking Insalata Caprese paired with steaming ravioli sat in the middle of the table. Between them rested a single rose and a picture that looked to be of him and his brother- probably from their travels together throughout the country. 

You found yourself blushing uncontrollably. Throughout all the years you knew Sam, he never failed to surprise you with how thoughtful he was. 

“You didn’t have to do all this, it’s too amazing.” You gave a wide grin and squeezed his hand before sitting down. 

He pulled out your chair for you and then pushed it back in as you sat before stalking over to his side of the table. The food smelled delicious and you truly couldn’t wait to begin eating. Sam had always been an great cook, and never failed to amaze you with the food he made. You on the other hand, weren’t the best chef. You knew enough to get by, but when it came to complicated recipes with complex instructions, your head started to spin. 

“No I definitely did, you deserve it. I’m sorry I’m away all of the time, but tonight I’m going to tell you something that’ll change everything. And maybe you’ll understand why I’m gone so much.” Sam’s gaze shifted down from your eyes and he seemed nervous looking. You wondered what he was going to tell you. Had he gotten fired from his job? 

“Okay, but I already do understand. It’s your job, if my job required me to travel across the country you’d understand. But I’m pretty sure being a librarian isn’t the same thing as a lawyer.” You joked, trying to catch his eye. 

When he finally looked up from the table, he was smiling back at you. The reflection of the candle’s danced in his hazel eyes. But you could still sense something was wrong, you knew him too well. You saw the tension in his shoulders and in the way he clenched his jaw, gaze darting around the room. You decided to put it out of your mind though. When he was ready to tell you whatever he wanted to say, he would. 

“So, tell me about Louisiana, how did the case go?” You asked, resting your elbows on the table. 

“It was pretty good, Louisiana is hot as hell though. And, of course, I missed you,” He gave a small wink in your direction, to which you shook your head and smiled slyly back. 

“I missed you too, Winchester”

Throughout the rest of dinner the two of you caught up and talked about everything that had happened since you’d seen each other last. Sam told you funny stories about Dean from the road which had you in stitches, and you told him about the library and all the new books you’d read. Conversation had always been easy between the two of you, but that night it was even more so. You flew from one topic to the next, neither of you stopping to catch your breath until everything to be said had been said. Any hint of tension or discomfort from before was completely erased by the end of the night. 

When the two of you finished eating Sam insisted on clearing all of the plates and then wash the dishes, not letting you lift a finger the entire time. It was sweet, him fussing over you the whole night, but you didn’t know why he was doing it. Yes, Sam had always been an amazing boyfriend. He never missed an anniversary or a birthday and always said the most meaningful things, but he was going a little over the top. While he was busy clearing all of the plates from the table, utensils clacking against the china, you wondered why he was acting that way. And, just as he finished, you remembered. Earlier he said he had something to tell you, and suddenly you became very nervous. What if he was going to break up with you? It seemed so out of the blue, such an incredibly random thing to do. But it would make sense, if he was going to break up with you this was how he’d do it. With a last supper of sorts, one final date to commemorate all the time you’d spent together before it was all over. And then, even though you knew it was foolish, you got even more nervous.

“Hey! So how did you like dinner?” Sam back down at the table, rubbing his hands together anxiously- why would he be doing that?

“It was amazing. You’re amazing, and I really missed you.” You blushed silently and smiled at him. 

“Me too, babe.” He smiled back reassuringly, but then got up and walked over to where you were sitting. 

“But there’s something I need to tell you.” 

The room fell silent, neither of you knowing what to do. The quiet was relentless; the only sound between you was your breathing. Sam sat there, wringing out his hands and trying to lock his eyes on your own. But you couldn’t face him, so you just focused your gaze on the carpeted floor beneath your feet. Gone was the pleasant conversation and meaningful stares from dinner. Honestly, if some third party was watching they would probably think the two of you were strangers. 

“What, what is it?” You finally forced yourself to meet his stare and saw his eyes begin to search your own. 

“My job, I mean, what I do for a living. I’m not exactly a lawyer...” 

You had to stop yourself from gasping. 

“Wh-what do you mean you’re not a lawyer??” 

What the hell was he talking about? Were all those late nights and missed phone calls he claimed were because of his ‘work’ just a way to get rid of you? You couldn’t really fathom what he had just said to you, was everything you knew about him a lie? 

“I did go to law school, and I do travel around the country with my brother.....but it’s not exactly what you think. (Y/N), this might, um, sound a little crazy. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner and I’m also really sorry for what I’m about to tell you....” 

Oh god, this was it, this was him breaking up with you. Or revealing more of the lies he had told you- wh-what if he was cheating on you?

“What I do for a living, it’s not the most orthodox thing to do. Dean and I, we hunt.....things.” 

“Things? What does that even mean, Sam?! You told me you were a lawyer, you told me you went to Stanford. Was everything a lie?!” You pulled your hands away from his grasp and stood up from your chair. 

When he didn’t respond you pressed on, “What do you do for a living?! Spit it out!” 

You didn’t want to get so upset at him, but you couldn’t help it. Two years of your life had been devoted to this man, and right now it felt as though you knew nothing about him. His entire profession had been a lie- what else was he not telling you? What if he was a criminal? When the two of you first met you didn’t think twice about any of that, instantly trusting him. It had been a stifling summer day in the library and when he first walked in. You remembered being so nervous when he asked you where to find a few books, almost dropping your pen a thousand times. He had been confident- as he usually was- and started up a conversation. One thing lead to another and you found yourself giving him your number within hours of meeting him. 

“Dean and I hunt....things that aren’t exactly....natural.” He looked down at his hands, which were still being wrung out nervously. 

“What- like ghosts? Are you joking?” You gave him a soft smile, wondering if he was pranking you as he often did. 

But the look he gave you in return answered the question, he most definitely was not joking. His face fell and his brows furrowed, as if he really believed what he was saying. 

“What- like ghosts and stuff? Sam, what the hell?!” You wrapped your arms around your shoulders and backed away from him. 

“Th-they’re called spirits, and uh, yeah- stuff like that. I’m sorry I know it sounds insane, but let me prove it to you okay? You won’t have to leave the house and all I need is 5 minutes.” 

You hesitantly nodded your head yes, but still refused to step any closer to him. 

[latinxinpublishing-blog]

Poet, Activist and Author, Aya de León In Conversation with LxP On Life and Work

Aya de León is an author to watch: Uptown Thief, her first trade novel, just won the 2017 Independent Publisher Book Awards Gold Medal in Urban Fiction. The follow-up to Uptown Thief, The Boss, will be available wherever books are sold this May. Her work has been talked about everywhere from Library Journal to the Village Voice and American Theatre Magazine. There’s no sign of the spoken word professor and performer stopping anytime soon and LxP is thrilled to ask her about her life and work during National Poetry Month.

Where do you draw inspiration for your writing? My inspiration comes from a combination of outrage at how the world currently is and envisioning how I would like the world to be. How would you describe the genre of books like The Boss and Uptown Thief? Why did you decide to write in this genre? These books are part of my "Justice Hustlers" series with Kensington Publishing. They are officially Urban Women's Fiction, but I call them Feminist Heist novels. I've spent much of my adult life working in progressive and nonprofit environments. There's always this moment when we're scrambling for funding and someone suggests that we should rob a bank. This is basically that fantasy brought to life. What audience did you have in mind when writing these novels? How did you decide to write for that audience? I write for women. My heroines are women of color, but I hope to appeal to women from many different walks of life. I'm fortunate to be writing for Kensington's Dafina imprint, which primarily targets young African-American and Latinx women, so they market heavily to young WOC. Part of the reason I think of myself as writing for women is that (as VIDA and other women's writer's groups and organizations show over and over again), male gatekeepers in the literary establishment are deeply committed to ignoring women's writing. So, I just embrace the notion that I'm writing for women and go for it. What themes, ideas, or conclusions, if any, do you hope for your audience to take away from these books? I'm an unabashed feminist and I hope that people will take away visions of women's agency, power, and cooperation. I hope people will have opportunities to think about the many ways that women are oppressed and see that the way to address that is to work together and organize, as opposed to individual solutions. I'm really impressed by Andi Zeisler's work on marketplace feminism [We Were Feminists Once: From Riot Grrrl to CoverGirl®, the Buying and Selling of a Political Movement], that really questions the idea the feminist/feminism is just about personal choice, individual identity, celebrities, and consumer brands. Also, I really like how [the protagonist of Uptown Thief] Marisol is a super badass Latinx woman. She defies stereotypes about us but also has that cariño and backbone and sense of family that is so powerful among the women in our communities. I hope folks will see Latinx women in a different light, and that we can also imagine ourselves differently. Another theme in the books is resisting assimilation, and this really came out of Uptown Thief. The second book in the series, The Boss, is about Tyesha, who is African American. The third book is about a pair of West Indian sisters. And they all have to go back to reclaim something about their original culture. Your writing tackles some heavy themes like sex work and the effects of structural inequality. How did you first become interested in these issues? I was a politically active teenager, so I've been thinking about these issues for many years. I started Uptown Thief in 2008, and it was my first time writing about sex work. In thinking about structural inequality—particularly race, class, and gender—I liked the idea of people going out and redistributing the wealth, as opposed to only putting pressure on others who have wealth and power to try to get them to change. At the same time, I do also believe in social movements and in voting. In particular, I've been a big advocate of Steve Phillips' book Brown is the New White, which talks about how people of color and progressive whites are a New American Majority that can win any national election if the Democratic party has a grassroots focus, progressive policies, and stops chasing white men who lean conservative. Do you have plans to continue writing in this genre or would you like to try any others? (Memoir? Children's books?) I am contracted for 4 books in this series (all heists), and then I think there are two more in my head that are more just action/romance. I also just finished a YA Black/Latinx girl spy book. I have a children's book in the works about talking to children about anti-black racism. I'm also interested in an intersectional memoir about food/body image. Your first book, Puffy: People Whose Hair Defies Gravity, was a self-published children's book. What have been some of the major differences between indie publishing and getting a book deal? Where to begin? I wrote Puffy while I was desperately trying to get an agent. I really was going crazy with the waiting game. It was so great to be able to press a "publish" button and get it to happen. At the same time, there was no one behind that book but me. No press. No infrastructure. Uptown Thief has had a much bigger life because my publisher had invested in it. I've been really fortunate, however, that Puffy has had a bigger life than it would have, thanks to some great progressive librarians who have backed the book. If I had it to do over again, I would have published with both CreateSpace and Lightning Source. Since it's only with CreateSpace, I can't get into indy bookstores, because CreateSpace is an Amazon company, and many of them won't do business with Amazon. You came up in the Bay Area spoken word scene and currently teach at UC Berkeley. You’re an acclaimed author, activist, educator, and mother. Is there anything about your career trajectory that you feel might be instructional or educational for the next generation of WOC writers? First off, the biggest thing of all: the road to creative success is full of failure and rejection. Don't give up. My own personal path was to delay motherhood til my early 40s and go really hard after my personal healing in my 20s and my artistic career in my 30s. But in all of it, I had to run up against my own internalized racism and sexism as an Afro-Latinx woman. There were ways that we get groomed to be of service to others, and we feel guilt if we put ourselves first, and discomfort if we hustle on our own behalf. I had to be willing to dial back the caretaking and keep a lot of my energy for myself and my career. Now that I'm a mom, it's even more intense, because there is another person who is really dependent on me for care. So I'm supposedly "balancing" this day job, writing, family, being an activist, doing the motherhood thing. There are days now, when "I'm having it all" which includes a great kid, a loving and challenging marriage, a chest cold, a new book coming out, a cluttered house, and I'm running late between my kid's school and work and I think, yep, this is me having it all!