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vibrantbirdy · 1 year ago

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You are so incredibly talented! I love reading all of your works! : )

Could I request a Cal Kestis x female reader (or OC, no preference really). I’ve been super into the game recently and just love his character. Maybe a really strong female character, but she gets flustered by Cal’s confidence, and how much she has grown to like him more than friends. I totally see him being a complete flirt (but still sweet). Haha. I’ve always had this idea that it would be cool for a force user to show someone what it’s like by holding their hand and pulling something to them (like aiding them in using the force). Stupid maybe I don’t know lol, basically Cal being suave and laying it on thick. Fluff, crack, little spice, I’m here for whatever creative piece you get going ❤️

Firstly, thank you for your lovely words! Secondly, yay, Cal! Thank you, I'm glad someone's asked for Cal, this is a cute prompt.

Character x Reader requests are currently open in my Asks. Please read the guidelines first. Masterlist of my fics can be found here.

Title: Proximity Fandom: Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order/Survivor Games Setting: Prior to events of Jedi Survivor Genres: Sci-fi; Romance; Fluff - This is tooth-rotting fluff with a little added spice as requested ;) Warnings: This fic is 18+ so please heed and respect the adult rating. Descriptions of sexual longing/arousal; one scene of strong consensual sex - nothing too descriptive but probably on the borderline of (hopefully still sweet) mild smut. Pairing: Cal Kestis x Female Reader Chapters: 1/1 (Complete) Word Count: approx 5.5k (Because I have no self control) Summary: You are an accomplished Coruscanti thief who has been recruited by the Rebel Jedi, Cal Kestis. As you join him and his crew on their adventures aboard the Mantis, you and Cal have to navigate your growing feelings for each other.

You are standing in some Imperial-worshipping Senator's private vault in a bank nestled deep in the heart of Coruscant's palatial financial district. You've just located your prize - a data stick containing the names of high standing political and military figures within the Empire who have Republic, perhaps even Rebel leaning sympathies.

It's the Senator's insurance policy, his get out of jail free card - something he can produce at the eleventh hour in case his unwavering loyalty to the Empire turns out not to be enough to save him from the pull and push of the Imperial tide of oppression swelling across the Galaxy.

You'll sell the data stick to one Rebel faction or another, whoever is willing to pay most for your service in getting information out of Imperial hands and aiding the Rebel's recruitment drive in the process.

You're in the middle of internally congratulating yourself on successfully extracting the data stick from its complex security casing when a male voice, almost conversational in tone, rings out behind you.

"I can't let you leave with that."

Startled, you whirl around to see a man standing no more than a meter away from you. You wonder how long he's been there, watching you.

He has bright ginger hair which is swept back from his face, short at the back and sides, but longer on top and slightly ruffled. His matching red stubble sits on his cheeks, chin, upper-lip and travels up his well-defined jawline to his ears. He is dressed simply in a fawn shirt, dark grey pants, and sturdy brown boots.

A small red and white droid, bipedal, with a flat rectangular head and two photoreceptors, one slightly larger and beadier than the other, hangs almost casually off his shoulder like a pet. It's a BD unit, you think.

Both the man and the droid are rather dirty, but then, so are you after squeezing your way through a maze of dusty ventilation shafts. It makes sense the only possible way they could have gotten in here is the same way you did.

The stranger is holding something metal in his right hand that glints occasionally in the vault's dim security lighting, but you can't quite work out what it is. A weapon?

You raise your blaster.

"Don't!" he shouts, holding out a palm towards you, "The vault is magnetically sealed, if you miss, that bolt's going to cause us both a world of problems."

You raise an eyebrow because one, you already know that, and two...

"Bold of you to assume I'll miss at point blank range," you say levelly.

You keep your weapon trained steadily at the young man's chest.

He adjusts his grip on whatever it is he is holding and a green beam of light extends from the hilt of what you now realise is a lightsaber. A deep thrumming sound resonates around the small chamber.

A Jedi. Great.

You thought they were all extinct after the Emperor's purge. Briefly, childhood memories of evening strolls with your parents past the monumental ziggurat of the Jedi temple glowing golden in the low Coruscanti sun flash through your mind. You remember the thrill of excitement at seeing the Jedi, elegant and regal in their grand robes, lightsabers clinking at their belts as they swept by on important Republic business.

Right now? Here? This is the last place you want to see one.

The light from the blade illuminates the young man's face which, you have to admit, is a rather attractive combination of youthful and rugged. His nose and cheeks are peppered with freckles and his eyes contain green irises so deep in colour that they almost match his blade. A thin, red scar runs almost horizontally across the bridge of his nose, dipping down onto his right cheek. The ghost of a smirk is now playing on his lips and it has the irritating effect of making him more handsome.

You don't know why, but for some reason, you trust him instinctively not to try and cut you in half with that humming beam of hot, vibrating energy. At a stalemate, you lower your blaster. He follows your lead by deactivating the blade of his saber immediately.

"If you make me a good offer, you can have this right now," you say, one hand on your hip, the other waving the data stick in front of him impatiently.

You never like staying on the scene of a job too long and you are starting to feel on edge.

"I've got ... uhhh ... one hundred credits?"

He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly as he speaks. He knows it's a stupidly lowball offer and you scoff loudly to let him know you think so too.

"Look, I know the ISB would pay a lot for information like this but..."

"I don't sell to the Empire," you snarl, cutting him off.

He holds up his hands in a gesture of apology which seems genuine enough. He tries again.

"I really need to get this to a contact in the Mid Rim..."

"The Mid Rim?" you interrupt abruptly, "that's off-world."

"Yeah..." his brow furrows and a slow, quizzical smile spreads across his face at the obviousness of your statement.

You curse yourself for being as predictable as a cheap holo novel. All your life you've lived on Coruscant. You've never been anywhere else. These days, the endless maze of unnatural, lifeless spires and struts and blocks of artificial construction seem to press in and in and in on you so that, despite the sprawling size of the metropolis, it feels like you are living in a tiny metal cage.

Still, this stranger didn't need to know that, and you realise you've given him his angle - a bargaining chip.

"I can't buy it off you," he reasons, "I don't have the credits, but I do have a proposal. Work with me and my crew. It's regular and we're rarely on one world for too long..."

There it is...

You got in here," he continues, gesturing around the vault, "we could use someone with your skill set. And, you get to piss off the Empire in the process."

You consider his offer. You are used to working alone and you don't like the complications that come with relying on others. Trusting anyone is difficult after fending for yourself, all alone, so successfully and for so long....

But with the Empire continuing to close their fist around all aspects of daily life, work was difficult to come by on Coruscant these days. Thieving in the city from Imperial targets in particular was becoming more and more fraught with danger.

While it riled you that he was able to read you so easily, really, what did you have to lose? Because by the Force did you not want to get off Coruscant? Isn't this what you'd been waiting for your whole life? An adventure?

"One job," you counter pragmatically, extending your hand to shake his, "And we'll see how it goes from there."

"Cal Kestis," he introduces himself with a disarmingly friendly smile, "And deal."

*************************************************

One job turns into another then another and another. Weeks turn into months and soon you've been on Cal's ship - well, borrowed ship you had come to learn - the Mantis for nearly half a year.

You've grown close with the crew of the Mantis. Cal, Gabs, Bravo and the two hulking Klatooinine twins, Lizz and Koob. This type of camaraderie is new to you. You really thought you'd struggle with it, that your independent nature would rail against the confines of living in close quarters with ship mates and fitting your own whims and desires and wants around others. In reality, you've never felt more at home. You didn't realise how lonely you had become before.

And the missions you run with the crew are exhilarating. This new life is so much more than just pilfering here and there from the Empire. You feel like you are really making a difference, like you're spitting directly in the face of the Imperial machine with every job. You feel like a Rebel.

It's not all sabotage and espionage and fighting Stormtroopers though. Off duty, life on the Mantis is mainly based around friendly joshing and winding each other up. And the dull minutiae of life still goes on.

Like now.

You and Cal are patching up the Mantis while the others are out on a supply run. You are currently crouched on your haunches so that the service hatch you are examining on one of the walls inside the ship is at eye level.

Cal is stood behind you, arms folded across his chest. You've been arguing good naturedly about what the problem is with the engine cooling system for an hour and you are now impatiently waiting for BD-1 to finish his scan to find out which one of you is right.

The little droid crawls out from the tangle of wires and gives you little nod and a boop of approval. You pat BD on his rectangular head and he scurries up your arm and on to your shoulder.

"I told you that was the problem," you say, craning your neck to look up at Cal with a triumphant grin.

You gesture to the wiring tool in his hand.

"Give that to me, I'll do it."

The Jedi looks down at the small instrument in his hand then tosses it up in the air and catches it again. He has that mischievous look on his face, the one you've learned to recognise as a sign that he's about to do something really annoying.

"Kestis..." you warn standing up, unable to stop your lips curling into a smile.

You make a lunge for the tool in his hand, but he's too quick. In a flash, he's holding it up above his head. Cal is almost a head taller than you and there's no way you can reach that high, even when you stretch up onto your tiptoes.

Instead, you decide to play dirty. You jab him hard in both his sides with your fingers where you know he's ticklish. He makes a funny sort of snorting noise in surprise and his hand drops for long enough that you manage to snatch the tool from him and make off with it at great speed.

Cal darts after you, both of you careering in to the kitchen of the Mantis, the thud and scrape of your boots on the ship's durasteel grated floor ringing throughout the ship in chorus with your laughter.

BD-1 takes this opportunity to leap of your shoulder and onto the kitchen table with an indignant whirr, determined not to get involved in this organic tomfoolery.

Cal is on you in seconds. He grabs you around the middle and lifts you off the ground with ease, spinning you around and deliberately tickling you in between making grabs for the wiring tool.

You squeal and let out perhaps the most ridiculous giggle to ever escape your mouth. You can't let him get away with forcing you to make a noise like that so you elbow him in the stomach. It's only a gentle prod really, but it's enough to make him grunt and let go of you.

As Cal doubles over, winded, you sprint back around to the opposite side of kitchen table holding the instrument aloft and performing a little victory dance.

Across the table, Cal straightens and, with a cocky look on his face, he stretches his arm out towards you. You stumble forwards slightly as if pulled forwards by an invisible rope tied around your wrist as he uses the Force to tear the tool easily out of your hand and bring it flying through the air to rest in his own outstretched palm.

"That's cheating!" you say, breathlessly.

Despite your half-hearted admonishment, in reality, you're delighted. And you're certain Cal knows it. The more time you spend with him, the more that old fascination you held as a child with the strange powers of the Jedi has returned. You are always enchanted by Cal's displays of Force ability.

"Alright kids, we almost ready to go?" Gabs' voice echoing through from the Mantis' doorway signals the return of the others.

Cal shrugs at you and you both grin, panting from your exertions. Keeping his green eyes locked on yours, he backs casually towards the door to help Gabs and the others load up the supply crates. Just before he exits the ship, he tosses the wiring tool to you underarm and you catch it with an elaborate flourish and twirl that makes him laugh.

You return to your work fixing the Mantis's cooling system with BD-1. You try to concentrate, but you feel slightly giddy. You can still feel Cal's strong arms against your body as if they remain wrapped around you. His masculine scent, pleasant and earthy and fresh like petrichor, seems to linger in your proximity and on your skin.

BD-1 tries his best to keep you right. He trills or nudges you every so often either to correct your wiring or to encourage you to stop staring into space with that inane, absent-minded smile.

When you lie in your cot bed that night, the hum of the Mantis' hyperdrive lulls you into a comfortable drowsiness and your thoughts return, unbidden, to Cal.

Over the past few months, it's like the very idea of him nestled deep into your brain and now refuses to budge. Every morning when you wake, you look forward to the sight of his honest, open, expressive face. The warmth of his slightly crooked smile. The way his red brows arch when he finds something funny before he squeezes his eyes shut so tight that they crinkle at the corners as he throws back his head, letting out peels of joyful, open-mouthed laughter.

Even when he has those strange moments of quiet introspection which you don't quite understand yet, you find it hard not to watch him. You can't help it, even although you sometimes feel like you are intruding on a private, sacred moment of reflection. It's always the same. His eyes glaze over as he stares out into the distance at nothing, a muscle works in his chiselled jaw, and then his head drops as if in dignified, melancholic prayer. These periods never last too long - not when he has a crew to lead.

There's no point in denying it anymore, at least not to yourself anyway. Your feelings for Cal go beyond comradeship; beyond friendship. And a hopeful notion has formed in your head that he might actually feel the same way about you.

It's both frightening and exhilarating at the same time.

A sudden heat blooms deep within your very core and rises in your cheeks as your mind conjures the image, no, the feeling of Cal's solid, toned body, pressed against yours in a feverish, impassioned embrace, your limbs entwined, fingers woven tightly through the flames of his red hair

Force, you want him.

You place a palm against the cool durasteel wall above your head that separates your room from the Jedi's. You wonder what he's thinking of on the other side of the thin sheet of metal.

****************************************

Cal Kestis can't sleep. Like most Jedi, he can't actually read the thoughts of others, but his connection to the Force allows him to feel the emotions and state of mind of those around him.

Over the past few months, the Jedi has noticed your feelings for him blossoming into something more than friendship, mirroring the growth of his own affections for you.

But tonight, Cal can sense that something in your emotional frequency has changed. Evolved. A clarity, a new and vigorous and glorious certainty in your desire for him radiates incandescent through the Force. It's like the smouldering embers of a fire have ignited into a ferocious blaze.

As the feeling permeates through the thin sheet-metal wall dividing you, the intensity of it, the heat of it, drives him crazy. He wants to rip through the flimsy partition separating you and give you everything you want from him and more. His whole body is aflame with almost painful arousal and he is aching to bring himself release.

Cal resists, teetering on the very edge of giving himself over to his desire. Is this voyeuristic? Is he trespassing? Crossing some unspoken line? Should he be trying to block you out? He doesn't know.

The Jedi hisses through his teeth in frustration. Reluctantly, he rolls out of bed and, sinking to his knees on the floor, surrenders himself to the Force in search of whatever temporary solace he can find in meditation.

Even as he does so, he knows that the only real relief he'll be able to get now is if he can find it with you.

***************************************

The crew of the Mantis are taking some time to rest after a run of particularly eventful jobs. You've landed on the quiet world of Brax at the edge of the Mid Rim. It's a beautiful, lush planet adorned with meadows of wildflowers, glassy lakes and sprawling coniferous forests.

Everyone is making the most of their down time.

Gabs and Bravo have gone off for a hike in the nearby woods.

BD-1 is having a well earned oil bath on the Mantis.

The twins are snoozing in the meadow amongst the flowers. When you'd crept past them earlier, you'd smiled fondly - the peaceful serenity on their faces was such an odd juxtaposition to their usual chaotic enthusiasm for life.

Having successfully sneaked past Lizz and Koob without waking them, you are now sitting atop a large slab of rock which juts up and out of the meadow. You alternate between admiring the view of the lake and cleaning your blaster.

It is a warm day, but a gentle cooling breeze keeps the heat at bay. A gust suddenly whips up the heady, sweet smell of wildflowers all around you. For some reason the scent triggers something inside you, your heart suddenly full to bursting with a strange concoction of melancholy and joy.

To think that all this beauty, all this Galaxy was just out here, waiting, your whole life. And if you'd never met Cal, you might still be crawling through filthy ventilation shafts smelling of metal and damp and darkness just to get by on Coruscant.

You are just about ready to reassemble your weapon when you look up from your task towards where the Jedi is meditating with his back to you. He's kneeling a few meters in front of you on the sandy shore by the still water. You always think it's strange how he chooses to sit on his knees, rather than cross-legged. It looks uncomfortable to you, but he seems to be able to sit like that for anywhere up to an hour. Maybe you'll ask him about it one day.

Cal is shirtless. Even from here, you can see the freckles littered like celestial constellations across his strong back and down his broad shoulders and muscled arms. You take the opportunity to admire the outlines and angles of his taut, athletic body.

You start as the Jedi begins to stand. You'd rather not get caught staring at him quite so openly and you quickly shift your gaze back to your blaster which is still in its various component parts.

Cal turns and advances towards you up the beach and onto the grassy meadow. You pretend not to have noticed him at all, but you keep catching glimpses of him in your peripheral vision. He walks a few paces, then stops and looks around as if he's searching for something on the ground. Then he crouches down. He does this several times.

What is he up to?

"Hey," Cal says casually as he finally wanders over to you.

He has to crane his neck to speak to you, perched as you are on top of your rock, and use a hand to shield his eyes from the sun. He's hiding something behind his back you realise.

"Oh, hey," you reply, as if you're surprised to see him there.

He pulls his hand from behind his back and reaches up to you. In his grasp is a bunch of wildflowers, beautiful pastel blues and pinks and purples.

You exclaim softly in surprise, a rather giddy sound that makes Cal beam up at you. As you take the blooms from him, his fingertips, calloused and tough from years of wielding a weapon in combat, brush gently against your hand. Even that small touch feels like a spark of electricity arching between you.

"See you at dinner," he says, and he's clearly pleased with himself as he retreats towards the Mantis, head held high, a jaunt in his step.

As you twist in your seated position to watch him disappear into the ship, you realise you were so enchanted by the gesture that you forgot to say thank you.

That's the thing about Cal Kestis. He's completely disarming. He has a rare, effortless charisma and an easy, flirtatious way about him that is somehow both sweet and suave at the same time. Few men you've met have ever managed to render you so flustered.

You look down at the delicate blooms in your hand and bring them to your nose, inhaling their fresh scent. Smiling to yourself, you shake loose the functional way you usually wear your hair to keep it out of your face and retie it, carefully weaving the wildflowers that Cal has picked for you through your locks.

When you come in for dinner - Bravo's turn to cook - Cal is already sitting at the kitchen table. He looks up and inclines his head to the side as he takes you in, his eyes widening. You blush furiously to see the genuine pleasure at the sight of you and your decorated hair written so openly on his face.

Amid the usual convivial hubbub and chaos of dinner in the Mantis' kitchen, you and Cal steal glances at each other across the table.

**********************************************

That evening, the moon is low and yellow in Brax's dark sky, hanging like a ball of golden light above the lake. You have an hour or so before you all depart for a rendezvous with a contact on Naboo. It's the twins' turn to do pre-flight checks and you find yourself on the shores of the water, skimming stones with Cal to kill time.

Before joining the crew of the Mantis you'd never skimmed a stone in your life. Not many places to do that on Coruscant. But Gabs in particular is an ace at it and she's taught you well.

Cal spots a likely candidate for his next projectile and he brings it flying casually into his hand using his Jedi abilities.

"What does it feel like like?" You ask, suddenly.

Cal smiles at you, seemingly understanding that you are talking about the Force. He hesitates for a second, looking down at the stone in his open palm. Then he places it back on the ground in an obvious position, nestled in the sand a few feet in front of you, and moves round to stand behind you.

He's so close you can feel his heart beating against his chest. Instinctively, you lean back into him, enjoying the safe feeling that his nearness gives you, and the warmth of his body against yours in the chill night air.

"It's time for instruction," he says softly.

He's said that phrase before when he's showing anyone how to do something new. You've come to understand that it's a fond impression of his late Master's dignified voice - a touching habit you've always thought.

Tonight it sounds different. His tone is light and teasing, but the smirk you can hear as he speaks makes the words sound almost seductive in a way that causes something to flip then tighten in the pit of your abdomen.

"Hold out your hand."

You extend your right arm, holding your palm outwards as you've seen Cal do many times. He places his own palm against the back of your hand and interlocks his fingers with yours.

His other hand comes to rest at your waist, pulling you ever so slightly closer into him. He doesn't need to put it there and you both know it. Nor does he need to rest his chin on your left shoulder, so close to your cheek that his stubble almost tickles your skin.

Yet you can tell that you are both revelling in this rare, private opportunity for proximity between the two of you, and it is as thrilling as it is maddening.

"Focus. Breathe."

You realise you've been holding your breath. You feel Cal's chest rising and falling against your back and you match your own breathing in time with his. You can't help but notice it's at a slightly elevated pace.

"See the stone in your hand."

You nod and exhale, your eyes boring into the rock as if you really are going to levitate it yourself. You try and fail to stifle a sudden giggle at the ridiculousness of such an idea.

"Concentrate," Cal scolds quietly in your ear but you can hear the smile in his voice as the hand round your waist tightens its grip ever so slightly.

"I am," you mutter, but it's only half true.

You wonder if it's just your imagination, but in the seconds that follow, you think you can feel an deep, vibration flowing through Cal and passing through his body and into yours, binding your lifeforces together.

The rock flies so suddenly into your palm that you jump. You just about remember to close your fingers around the stone's cool, smooth surface as you shout out in surprise and delight. Cal lets out a good-natured laugh at your reaction and you glow as it rumbles through his whole body and yours.

You've just made up your mind to twist around in his arms kiss him when BD-1 comes running through the grass at great speed on his little legs, beeping and chirping urgently.

"Ok buddy, ok, we're coming," Cal says kindly to the little droid, but you can hear the exasperation at the untimely interruption in his voice.

*******************************************

Course set, the Mantis is travelling at lightspeed and, nestled safely in the cradle of the hyperlane, you will probably make it to Naboo in about six hours.

You suspect the rest of the crew are all sleeping soundly. The Mantis takes care of herself for the most part when travelling through hyperspace. With the life you lead, the importance of catching rest when you can cannot be underestimated.

You, however, cannot sleep. Thoughts of Cal and your interrupted moment by the lake race through your mind. The wildflowers he gave you are still in your hair and every so often you catch the ghost of their aroma, reminding you of your almost idyllic day on Brax.

You sigh and drag yourself out of bed, deciding to go and sit in the empty cockpit of the Mantis for a while and watch the stars race by as you hurtle through the hyperlane. Although it should really be frightening, you love to watch great swathes of the Galaxy disappear in a flash before your eyes as the Mantis catapults through space. It's a novel experience for you still - being off Coruscant, light speed travel, new worlds.

You wave your hand over the control and the door to your room hisses open. You jump to see a figure already standing there in the corridor. With a jolt of excitement, and with a strange feeling that you've summoned him somehow, you realise that it's Cal.

"Uh, hi.."

You don't let him get more than two words into his sentence. You grab him roughly by the front of his loose night shirt - which is slung low, revealing tufts of ginger hair on his chest and the elegant lines of his collarbone - and pull him into a deep kiss.

Not breaking away from your lips, and hardly hesitating, he picks you with almost alarming ease. You wrap your legs around his waist and curl your fingers in his red hair as he carries you back into your quarters. He places you up onto your workbench situated against the opposite wall as the door slides closed behind you.

"You look so pretty with those flowers in your hair," he mumbles into your neck you shiver with pleasure as his mouth brushes against your skin as he talks.

"Yes, it's a shame you're about to make such a mess of me," you whisper into his ear.

He pulls back to stare at you for a moment, green eyes wide as if dumbfounded by your forwardness. His delighted, slack-jawed expression forces a loud giggle from deep within you.

"Shhh," Cal warns emphatically, keenly aware of the proximity of the rest of the crew and how thin the walls of the Mantis are. He presses a kiss to your mouth in an attempt to silence your outburst, but you can feel his body shake with his own barely contained laughter as he grins against your lips.

Once your stifled mirth subsides, you hastily start to undress each other. You barely have time to appreciate the now naked, muscular form of the Jedi before you, when, in his enthusiasm to remove it, Cal accidentally rips your flimsy night dress away from your body. As it comes apart in his hands, the fabric makes a loud tearing sound, louder even perhaps than that of your previous bouts of laughter. You both freeze, as if anticipating someone will burst through the door and catch you in this compromising position, before dissolving into poorly restrained giggles again.

As he drinks in the sight of your body, Cal's expression changes into something primal. His brows knit together as if he is trying to understand how you could possibly be sitting in front of him like this. Then, his pupils dilate and his nostrils flare before he crashes his mouth back down on to yours into a deliciously rough kiss.

You don't move from your position on your workbench, and you coil your legs around Cal as tight as you can as he starts to move in you. The pace is urgent. You don't mind. There'll be opportunities for languid and gentle love-making in the future. Right now, this is a matter of need for both of you. The cord of tension that has been tightening between you for months finally snapping in a glorious, frenzied, explosion of mutual lust.

As his pace increases and his movements start to become uncoordinated, Cal moves a hand down between your bodies, splaying his palm against you, and settling the pad of his thumb between your legs at the very place you most need it to be.

At this, your hand which was tangled in his flaming hair flies down to join the other at his back and he growls as you claw your fingers in to his flesh between his shoulder blades.

You press your lips hard into his shoulder to muffle your cries as you approach your peak and then, suddenly, you are crashing over the edge and seeing stars. You gasp out his name, over and over, open mouthed and breathy against his ear.

This, combined with the sensation of your body in rapture, sends Cal hurtling towards his own oblivion. You cling to him while the great, strong muscles all over his body tense and release, and he lets out a long, shuddering groan into your neck that is almost a whimper.

The sight of him, the sound of him falling apart in front of you is beautiful.

Once you've both caught your breath, Cal lifts you gently off the table, and carries you to your tiny, single cot bed. You manage to position yourselves fairly comfortably in the snug space by lying on your sides. The Jedi has one arm laced underneath you with the other slung over your waist, hand resting on your stomach and holding you close to his warm chest.

As you are lulled almost into a doze by the sound and feel of his slow and steady heartbeat, you take in the rather sorry sight of the flowers which once bejewelled your hair, now scattered in ruin across the functional durasteel floor.

"I told you those flowers wouldn't last," you muse drowsily.

Propping himself up on one elbow, Cal removes his hand from your waist and reaches out his arm, palm splayed open. A blue bell flower, stem and petals astonishingly still intact- a brave survivor of the onslaught of urgent hands through your hair - floats lazily up from the floor and towards you on the bed.

Cal plucks it out of the air and gently weaves the bloom into your locks just above your ear. Then, he kisses you gently on the cheek and then on your shoulder, his beard tickling your skin, before sinking back down on to his side and resuming his previous position curled comfortingly around you.

For some reason, despite the eroticism of what you've just done together, this sweet gesture makes you flush disproportionately and you feel your cheeks turning pink.

You're starting to realise, perhaps hope, that the heady feeling of being slightly flustered in Cal Kestis' proximity might never go away.

#cal kestis x reader #cal kestis fanfiction #cal kestis x you #cal kestis x female reader

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dreamwreaver · 26 days ago

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I fully agree with you on your takes about Vaggie and Charlastor in general.

I wouldn't mind Chaggie being canon if the show did a better job at having the relationship say something about them instead of just meshing them together like a kid making their dolls kiss.

In fact, I would even go as far to say Alastor did MORE for Charlie than Vaggie ever did! Because he did so out of his own volition, and taking her somewhere where her passion would help them!

Where as everything Vaggie does is tied to making Charlie happy to some extent, not even her going to Carmilla to find a way to fight against the angels is of her own volition! Everything she does is all for and centered around Charlie.

Which kind of beckons the question of would she even still do these things or even stick around if Charlie wasn't her girlfriend. It all feels like the most change she went through was just changing leaders to follow, instead of following a leader that's cruel, she follows a leader that's nicer.

I REALLY hope as the show goes on Vaggie will get the much needed development she needed.

I think that's the biggest problem I have with canon chaggie as it stands. Like, this could be the lumity of adult animation, but it's just... meh? Like cool, they're kind of there. I know in another as I mentioned Kim and Ron as an example of what main characters in a relationship should be, but Lumity is honestly the more accurate example, especially considering how dirty Disney did the third season.

Luz is the cheerful, optimistic bisexual who is ultimately the chosen of a powerful entity just like Charlie (difference being one is descended from one the other is chosen to be imbued with its power) when they face down their nemesis it's with a strength that comes from having their kindness used, abused, and dismissed by said enemy. And ironically, their main antagonist is someone who is so assured of their own self-righteousness and goodness that it doesn't matter what they do or who they harm in the process.

Amity by contrast is the strictly raised over achiever who ultimately has a heart of gold beneath her stern and stand offish appearance. People associate that song "Little Miss Perfect" with her for a reason, though I do feel it applies to Vaggie as well. The difference between amity and vaggie though is that amity's interactions with luz encourage her to rebel against that image. Aside from Charlie offering her a bandage for her eye and indicating immediate interest... what does she bring out in Vaggie? Protective instincts? I mean... cool but we saw that a cannibal kid cowering in fear was enough for her to challenge her own beliefs so it's not like being with Charlie really changed her view of sinners. Hell, like Lucifer she still seems to approach them with condescension and derision, not the best approach for someone managing a rehab hotel right?

And let me be clear, whatever it takes is a great song. But it kind of shows the unhealthier aspects of Vaggie's side in their relationships. "I'll be your armor, I'll spend my life being your partner" you cannot be someone's armor and their partner because true partnership is equal, not one consistently protecting the other. And not to shit all over Vaggie I think her backstory has the capacity to be very moving. But Charlie... isn't the best partner to her.

Can I be real? I love my girl, I am not bashing for the sake of bashing. But Charlie has a tendency to get so wrapped up in her own stuff that vaggie's wants/needs often get... ignored? Not prioritized at the nicest. Vaggie seems hesitant about trust exercises? Well let's put her in charge of the whole thing! Vaggie doesn't want to go to heaven? Charlie makes her come anyways (which, side note if sinners can visit heaven Alastor as a shrewd businessman would have made a better choice just logically or at the very least give a reason why he can't go he's just not in that episode at all for some reason). And she kind of uses the "I'm your partner and I need your support" thing a lot on vaggie. Which, even if it's true Charlie, sweetie, please notice when your girlfriend needs you too.

Vaggie does have points at times about Charlie's ideas being too grandiose or impractical but the average way that goes is;

Vaggie: Charlie no,

Charlie: Charlie yes!

And then chaos happens and it somehow all works out and there's no apology from anyone. I'm also still kind of mad that Charlie didn't LET vaggie apologize for keeping that secret. Like, no, Charlie had as much right to be mad about that as vaggie did for keeping that secret and y'all really need to evaluate your relationship and boundaries and communication skills before you decide to continue it.

One other thing that bothers me is that... literally if you removed the introduction scene to Lucifer and the kiss in the last episode literally no one would be able to tell for sure they're a couple. And tbh? That's just bad writing. Especially considering how much they sideline vaggie from all love interest duties. Charlie's in danger? Lucifer to the rescue! And like... seriously, what was the point of giving vaggie her wings back if she couldn't use them to rescue her girlfriend? Why did she get those back? She doesn't fly at any other point after that, and sure maybe it's a case of she's gone for so long without them it's like learning to fly all over again, but at that point maybe give her wings that are incapable of sustaining her weight in flight? Something to indicate she's got them back but they're impractical for combat use so she has to rely on riding the goat dragons and Charlie falling from a high place would require someone with full sized wings to tackle the problem.

Look, I went into this show knowing that chaggie was canon and that Viv had been planning on doing much of what she called "fan service" for them. But for the love of god at least make it so that people cannot argue they're a couple. A complication of "Chaggie moments" on Amazon's YouTube is them just... talking. Bro, come on.

Vaggie deserves better. Charlie deserves better. Canon chaggie deserves better and the shippers who are not entitled assholes certainly deserve better than having to do all the fucking legwork for a canon ship. At least charlastor being non canon means I have every right to over react about the nuggets of content they give us. One day I will go over some of the insane ramblings I have for why they did so much for the non canon ship but not today lol

#charlastor #radiobelle #hazbin hotel #dream replies

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bvttoneyes · 1 year ago

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Rebel Hearts

Pairing: Dallas Winston x Fem!Reader

Requested: no

Summary: Y/n, a new kid, captures the eye of Dallas Winston, leading to a connection fueled by their independent and rebel spirits.

Warnings: unrequited love

Y/n, a newcomer with an aura of mystery and a rebel spirit, arrives in Tulsa. It feels like a breath of fresh air finally. Among the, seven, enamored observers is Dallas 'Dally' Winston, whose curiosity is piqued by Y/n's independent demeanor and a certain spark in her eyes. She stands there, stretching from the long car ride. She isn't from Oklahoma, and it shows. Her eyes were widened at the part of the city she was in, then she rolled her eyes. "I'm sure we'll have fun with her here" He thinks to himself, rolling his own eyes. Just another high class brat thinking they own the place. That was until they made eye contact. He saw her and he felt weak for just a second, as if his mask fell. She smiled at him. Butterflies in her stomach at the small interaction, "man is he a looker", you thought to yourself. Little did you know he would run in your mind through out the time you lived here. Would you go up and introduce yourself? "Come on! Grow a pair!" You thought to yourself. You mentally hit yourself in your face, why are you so nervous to talk to him? He's just some guy. Just some cute, tuff guy, who you could probably run your fingers through his hair while you- You had to cut off your thoughts when your sister got out of the car and muttered a "oh he's cute". you turned your head around so fast you probably got whiplash. Who was she talking about? There were 7 of them surely not the one you want. Surely. "Which one? I mean all of them are alright, but which on do you think is cute?" you ask her, kind of panicked.

She gives you a judgemental stare, then points at the 'movie-star-lookin-one'. You let out a quiet sigh of relief, thanking whoever that it wasn't 'yours'. You couldn't understand why you felt like this about some guy. You haven't even talked to them and in all honesty he's kinda dirty lookin. but for some reasin you got butterflies at him.

You finally muster up enough courage to go up to the black-haired boy. You would at least pretend to want to be friends. As you made your way over you noticed he started talking to the other boys that were with him, his hands were on his black leather jacket. He looked tuff. This made you realise how weird you were acting over some guy you've never even talked to once, and who was probably a complete douche. As you get closer to the group of boys, you hear a New York accent on the dirty teen. His accent only making him more attractive in your eyes. You finally are in front of him. You give him that smile again, he swears he would jump anyone just to see that smile. You were a lot prettier than the girls in Tulsa he usually sees. He stops talking and he looks at you giving you a mean mug, looking you up and down. In all honesty he was checking you out. "Hey, uh I'm Y/n. I'm new in town and I was hoping I could find some friends here?" You look at all the boys, eyes then focusing back on the black-haired boy. He just smirks at you. He looks at the rest of the boys than back at you, "Dallas Winston, just call me Dally." He winks at you and you swear you could die right now. All you do is smile at him. You look at everyone else as they introduce themself.

After hanging out with them for a couple months, not only did you get closer to Dally. You got closer to everyone else. And already being a bit of a rebel back from your hometown you fit in quite well with them. Dallas knew he grew more feelings for you the more he got to know you, but would you ever get to know that? Hell no. But you had no plans of confessing anything anytime soon. Everyone could see how much you two liked each other except the two of you. He was nice to you almost as much as he was to Johnny. You two were completely oblivious to each others feelings. You two would be able to talk, would be able to tell eachother your interests. Bond over shared interests, trying to understand the others that you don't share. That was mostly you though. You two would go to the drive-in together and share a popcorn. If you were cold he would grumble and mutter something under his breath, he would give you his leather jacket begrudgingly.

#dallas winston #dallas winston x reader #the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #EEK I LOVE THIS OMG #Part 1!!#Part 2????

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feuqueerfire · 5 months ago

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Unknown Live Blogging

I loveeeeee a younger pursuer character, especially when they've known each other for a while and the older is just like I love you kid (platonic/familial) while the younger is losing their mind with their crush/love/lust. Also, the fact that the novel it's adapted from is literally called Da Ge 大哥 ah, I've gotten more into adoptive or step-brothers trope since I got into live-action BL but I've only just watched Addicted/Stay With Me and Kiseki: Dear to Me 2nd couple, so it's exciting to add another one to the list.

This is also a novel from China that's being adapted in Taiwan so that they don't have to censor it, right? There are several other BLs currently in the works like this.

Anyway, seems like people really like this show (not counting the sex scene in ep 11 or something because I heard so much complaining about that lol), so my hopes are high.

Ep 1 (June 13)

ahhh crazy start/glimpse into future

starts when they're young but have been living together a while already

ahhhh trying to take care of things/the family/his ge by paying the bills using his gift money + some part time job maybe. isn't quite a grownup yet but he wants to be so bad

2007 - when they first met

oh fuck the child being hit with the metal pipe was scary and unexpected

oh man, Qian getting embroiled with gangs and doing their dirty work for money

oof, gonna have to win 3 boxing matches to leave the gang

Ep 2 (June 13)

the teacher saying an older brother is like a father

not them ganging up on Xiao Bao!

dang, Qian's mother hated him because he did well, that's wild

Qian is so attractive like woah

we've reached current year - 2016

Ep 3 (June 13)

Yuan to the rescue

Bao and Yuan's dynamic is so cuteee

damn, Qian mad as hell at Xiao Bao's outfit and it has a bit of the "proprietary" thing that so many father-daughter older brother-younger sister dynamics have (in media at least) but also most importantly it reminds him of their mother who they are both very traumatized by

I'm so nervous, I hope nothing bad happens to Xiao Bao (esp because we know this world has like gangsters and stuff)

Is this guy part of the gangsters? Does he know who Xiao Bao is?

Yuan recognizes the gangster oh no

Sam Lin as doctor, though I must say I would not recognize him if I wasn't already aware of this

sharing a bed

studying abroad mentioned

I don't wanna read thoughts of r/boyslove or look for gifsets on tumblr, I just wanna get to the next episode.

It feels like since they both scold/get upset at Xiao Bao in an attempt to protect her, she's not gonna retain any of the reasons they're worried about her but rather maybe rebel and end up in troublesome situations. please no rape storyline though plsplspls

Ep 4 (June 14)

Yuan's 18th birthday? adult Yuan alright

pls Qian thinking that Xiao Bao's saying Yuan watches porn

it's romantic stuff but is it yaoi/BL? because the one Sweet Summer or whatever novel seemed to be two guys on the cover?

Qian kinda reminds me of Na Jaemin (my NCT bias when I was into them) from some angles

I will forever love helping something with feet, whether it be shoelace tying, giving a massage/a foot bath, or now taking care of an ankle/foot injury. it's not even a foot kink, it's just... idek like lowering oneself... in aid of the other... taking care of them...

Yuan definitely doesn't wanna hear about them seperating and liking other people

this kiss must be in Yuan's imagination

so I guess Qian doesn't suspect Yuan's feelings toward him at all + also doesn't return the feelings (yet + he might be unconsciously feeling something but it's not as intense as Yuan's feelings). However, I'm unclear on whether he thinks Yuan likes boys? Like he saw Yuan's romance novel with 2 boys + asking about the high school class monitor...

Ep 5 (June 14)

I knew this was a daydream because of the dreamy filter + I kinda remember some post on reddit about Yuan's daydream but if I was watching this in real time, I would've lost my shit

oh oh my god okay. "Ge, do you already know that I like guys?" extremely forward and sudden, I wasn't expecting it

ahhh, I can't watch this, it's so T.T. like ik it's very Uncle Jim to Liming, looking out for their young(er) nephew/brother because being gay openly isn't easy but like T.T still

What year is this? 2016 right? while gay marriage became legal in Taiwan in 2019

I love a "it's my business who i like, not yours" or whatever

ah, Qian's nice to Yuan again, he likes gives him a little lecture but isn't like actually homophobic

Xiao Bao turns 18 too

damn, what's up with Qian? head hurts?

pls the colleague (is that San Pang? yeah right?) running into Qian's room to see him and Yuan in bed sleeping and cuddling and being like... hm

pls Qian himself being like "it's not what it looks like" before the other guy even says what it looks like

QIAN WHY ARE YOU TELLING HIM THAT YUAN LIKES GUYS?!

omg San Pang now coming over to talk to Yuan

pls I know why he's asking but the way he's talking about where Xiao Bao sleeps and where he sleeps like hey ! stop

that's her literal brother and they have no parents, I think it's fine if Xiao Bao climbs into her Dage's bed to sleep occasionally lmfao

oh I guess he was talking about Xiao Bao sleeping in Yuan's bed. whelp he'd have a point in that case I guess becuase Yuan def can like these siblings lol he just happens to not like the sister

pls Xiao Bao wants San Pang to ask about her, so whenever he talks about Yuan and Qian the way her eyes roll so hard that her whole head rotates, so funny

not the office fujos Noticing and Observing lol

ahh, Yuan's inner turmoil seeing his "future sister-in-law"

ah, San Pang straight up asking if the one Yuan likes is Qian

I just wanna know when the confession is gonna happen, is it gonna be next ep? because Yuan also has to go abroad (though I don't think that time skip takes too much airtime from what I've read). I want some stuff to happen after confession + after getting together too.

Ep 6 (June 14)

I wonder what role San Pang will play like will he help them figure it out or hinder all the way through? they're kinda hinting him with Lili, so he can't possibly be a "bad guy." I get him dissuading them now or giving them reasons why they shouldn't but once they do, I assume he'll be okay with it at least

"Don't tell me that guy also has some?" oh Qian

Qian feeling pity for Yuan and being like why do you have to like him... oh Qian, oh Yuan

aklsdfjalksdf ahhh Yuan about to me a drunken mess at this important work function plssss I'm nervous. but also... does the confession happen when Yuan's drunk? Is it gonna happen this ep?

Feng Ning is so cool I love her. if Yuan does anything that upsets her I'll get mad at him im negl

oh omg I have an image in my mind of when Yuan confesses maybe and it was not in this outfit and they were also maybe sitting, so the i like you and attempted kiss was like oh!

It also stressed me out that they're still at work

woahhh it hurts so good the way Qian not only punched Yuan but also didn't stop to care for his wounded hand

ahhh Qian avoiding Yuan and the home entirely

studying abroad plan on

Aw, Xiao Bao who is like ? wtf is going on, why are my brothers fighting and also Yuan literally going to NY

is that Yuan sitting on the floor with his paper on his face and crying? yes, same sweater stripes

The angst is done well. The situation must happen (I was anticipating the fallout from the confession so much!), it's not overdramatized (Qian reacts badly but then just avoids Yuan for the rest and Yuan tries to apologize a bunch but doesn't force anything when Qian ignores him), the acting-writing-directing are all good. I'm also liking the consequence of him moving away to a different country (for a few years?) because he's known Qian all his life and practically only talks to Qian, Lili, and sometimes people like San Pang or a classmate but he'll broaden his horizons now and it'll be less "he loves Qian because he only knows him"

Ep 7 (June 14)

damn, Qian's apparently been so apathetic that San Pang's like maybe I shouldn't made Yuan stay so that at least you wouldn't be like this

Qian's alcohol problem + his chronic headache bruh

San Pang straight up asking if Qian has feelings for Yuan too and Qian does not deny it

also it's been 2 years right? since it's 2018 now and 2017-2018 were blank for Yuan's height

Qian is truly so attractive. his face but also his mannerisms and expressions and gestures. woah. and of course my forever weakness: nice smile and there's a dimple too

2017 - 2023?! omg 6 years? that's a lot, I was expected 2-3 fr

Qian continues reading Yuan's texts but not replying to them. then impulsively calling Yuan and immediately hanging up again

first reciprocal contact in 6 years, if I was Yuan that call would've made me lose my whole entire mind fr

Bro, it's actally Qian who's losing his mind because he's sitting on Yuan's bed in Yuan's room and texting Yuan to come home if he misses it

Xiao Bao has truly become grown up model Lili

San Pang is at the office gathering, so who did she see at the door? would Yuan already be at home lmfao

ah, indeed Yuan's here lol

Yuan and Lili antics begin again, how fun

From a few Tumblr posts, I thought Lil iand San Pang's relationship was gonna get exposed? next ep i guess.

also saw some gifs that Yuan's gonna be petty toward Qian next ep and I'm so excited, how did people wait weekly for this? I can barely wait for tomorrow.

Ep 8 (June 15)

starting this around 7:30pm because I had to watch Wandee Goodday episode today. Hope I like this episode than I liked Wandee's

ah, Yuan's so bold now "Have you seen enough?"

The fact that Yuan made eye contact with Qian before handing the drink over to Xiong-ge. Qian expectantly holding out his hand but having to retreat and check afterwards that nobody else saw lmfao

It's killing me that Yuan keeps looking at the other two ges during the conversation while Qian keeps glancing at Yuan and can't keep his eyes off of him even when he tries

Yuan even thanking San Pang for making him go to the states...

the hickeys?!

Qian's incredulous look at 8:00 is really so Na Jaemin, why does he remind me so much of him

I would say Qian's slow for not catching on that they're together somehow but ig San Pang and Lili are LDR since she doesn't even live here anymore? and so Qian's not aware of it? but it's also funny to think his brain was barely working while Yuan wasn't here but managed to deduce it by glimpsing the hickeys as soon as Yuan came and Qian's brain started working again lmao

damn, Lili's literally shaking her head no, how dare San Pang make the executive decision to confess to Qian?

NOT THE BUTCHER KNIFE LMFAO

Yuan literally sitting back and eating fruits on the couch as he observes is so funny

and his smiles lmfaooo

and only inserting himself when Xiong-ge brings up Qian dating somebody else lmfao he's a menace

Yuan calling Qian as Wei Qian instead of ge is so .

Qian's mad because the two of them are dating and there's an age difference and San Pang's known Lili since she was a child and he figured it out through hickeys and he's the last to know and all those reasons but also... he's probably also mad that why isn't he with Yuan then? If those two can do it, why not him too?

Yuan knowssssss he's getting to Qian

I've seen a glimpse of a gif of Yuan feeding Qian ahh

and now that Yuan's indeed giving him his full attention at the table, Qian can't look at him

Qian's losing his mind and I along with him

Yuan's so bold now, it makes me nervous like chilllllll, move back like the way he kept walking toward Qian and nearly kissed him alksdfjla;ksfj

Yuan is suchhh a menace, the way he starting speaking loud and clear when he heard Qian at the door

my mom dragged me away right then but I'm back

plss he's talking about how he also likes somebody and both Xiao Bao and Ge know that person. lmfao. menace.

Xiao Bao reading from a script lmfaooo

Yuan truly is such a menace, sliding the family vacation into Lili's script pls

cryingggg Xiao Bao ditched the family trip to go to Milan

Yuan kept poking until Qian finally says to not keep feelings for him anymore, only to hit him back with "what makes you think i still like you?"

Yuan saying Wei Qian really does me in. "Wei Qian, don't you like Wei Zhiyuan?" was woah

agh, A'Le and gangsters next ep. hmph

I've been curious to see which other age gap older male/younger female ships I like because they usually give me major ick but I'm such a fan of age gap ships in m/m-f/f-noona romances. I think History 3: Trapped side side ship with the sister and bulter man is the only one I can think of and they barely existed lol. So I want to like San Pang and Lili, especially when she said she's the one who pursued him (I'm into that trope a lot too; like Yuan's also the younger one pursing the older one) but I wish San Pang wasn't a hypocrite/homophobe because if he's into Lili and has no problems getting with her but so disapproved and dissuaded Yuan, like the reason is homophobia yes? I wanted him to come to The Realization that Yuan liking Qian is... fine-ish when he developed feelings for Lili, not have him separate the two situations.

Ep 9 (June 15)

so many things to do but I'm watching this instead, goddammit. but been a little while since i've been so eager to binge and watch next ep (Kiseki and Triage last month I think)

Also, I saw a post that had a clip from the trailer that hasn't happened yet or something and I didn't watch it but there was text about how Qian looks Yuan in the eye when he confesses... omg now I'm so excited to see when that happens. I hadn't been thinking about how they'd actually come together but a confession must happen and I'd be very happy if Qian's the one who does it this time, even more so if he's very tortured about it

oh, abroad was 4 years ago? not 6

I like Yuan's whole spiel about I can't stop liking you but this is enough

Yuan calling Qian out on his bullshit, he can't kick Yuan out again

Qian can tell when Yuan's lying/hiding something

hmm they're calling Qian the snitch and the cops came back then... I feel like Qian didn't do it since he himself was involved

when's that napkin with the poem from?

what is the plan exactly? Lin's telling Yuan to remember that Qian cares about him...

damn, Yuan left for a trip with very short notice?

"You're acting like a wife trying to catch her cheating husband" read the room, San Pang. you can't tell this to Qian who is trying to not be in love with his didi

Dr. Lin so funny. also did We Best Love have eating raw noodles? I feel like it did...

Wei Zhiyuan means "belongs to Wei"

no but what was Yuan plan actually because mans just went to their lair, asked for Le-ge and now is just getting beat up lmfao

scary, Le-ge's got bullets

please why are we doing Russian Roulette rn T.T

Can't have a bullet in there if he's doing it on himself, right? I didn't see how many bullets he put in there. or is he just fucked up in the head enough to do it anyway lol

Qian hugging Yuan in desperation

omg that napkin was literally what Yuan wrote as he thought they were his last words stuck on a mountain during his study abroad. and Qian was avoiding speaking to him during that time godddd, what a tragedy it would have been

and it's a good time to reveal that since they just did the russian roulette for e/o

I don't wanna read ppls thoughts or look at gifsets, I wanna just watch the next episode omg but I won't look at anything after ep 10 until I finish the whole thing since ep 11-12 spoilers will also be there, so I should look at stuff now.

Ep 10 (June 16)

Qian remembering everything Yuan's said and done

nose bleed...

parallels w the hair drying and cuddling to sleep, it'd be funny if san pang woke them up again

does Qian think he'll die

lmaoooooo San Pangcame but unfortunaly Qian was aklready downstairs

i knew bout this blood clot

not the i wish i could tie you up with a rope

Idk how Qian thinks he could possibly hide this from Yuan lol I'm surprised he hadn't just listened in or bothered Lin about the info

the three of them just exchanging eye contact and the focus from San Pang -> Qian with a zoom! sound effect was very funny

Yuan is so funny to San Pang lmfao he keeps being like San Pang ge thank you <3 to the point of uncomfortableness

welp indeed Yuan figured it out on his own

ah, Yuan's mad that Qian hid it from him and keeps saying he'll deal with it on its own

Qian made all of Yuan's favourites to try to win him over askdf but Yuan's still mad

Yuan taking a brief break from ignoring Qian's existence to take away greasy food/beer and give him and San Pang salad instead

San Pang once again telling Qian to consider Yuan and getting with him seriously

Did he not that he wants Yuan to have a future without him?

I think I got a little lost about what exactly led to Yuan storming out but ahhh that convo, fuck. Qian's turmoil and inner conflict and Yuan being like it's mind to deal with, not yours but Qian not being able to let Yuan go.

Ep 11 (June 16/17)

I wanna binge these last 3 eps but it's Eid so I'm busy and gotta watch the rest later. I'm really excited for this ep since it's gonna have the confession and also the sex scene but I know it made everybody fucking mad because of the editing (they had flashbacks to them as kids?) + position top/bottom implications/confusions lmfaoo

The first time Qian took initiative to grab Yuan omg

wait, we're already going into the house okay

I need a pillow or stuffed animal to dig my nails into rn omg i keep grabbing air

what was the more correct translation of "I've been waiting all my life. This isn't fast at all." that made me lose my mind when I saw it and I hadn't even been watching the show back then

"You don't even know what I dream about you at night" hah. hahahah. haha. ok

hello why are we having flashbacks to a conversation from 5 minutes in between the sex scene instead of just... being linear??? I didn't know this happened bc it got drowned out w the other complaints ig lmao

yeah, interspliced scenes we haven't seen before + flashbacks of scenes we've seen during a sex scene are already annoying but then WHY ARE THERE CHILDHOOD FLASHBACKS. this is not the time to have kids on my damn screen wtf

also I just kinda took top Yuan from that, is it top Qian in the novel or something because I feel like people mentioned that it seemed one way but it wasn't supposed to be that way? or is it because the scene where Yuan had his bare legs splayed that gave the illusion of bottom Yuan and people didn't like that? I'm so curious

domestic morning kissing, they've really come all the way here

Lili's home?!

a fight? girl lmao ig Lili's the normal sibling who's not guessing that her other siblings are fucking, biologically related or not

what is this Le/Lin scene lmao

fancy dinner date at the same gangster restaurant as always lol but apparently Qian's reserved the whole place and made it romantic

Enough angles for one kiss!

restaurant owner gang uncle just witnessing all this lmfao I think it'd be hilarious if he gossips with Le-ge about Qian and his brother kissing

fuck, this nerve and surgery stuff is so scary fr

Okay, finished the last 10 minutes while having lunch the next day because I had to leave yesterday. Good to see both Yuan and Lili care about Qian and want to take care of him and such. Qian took up smoking again in all this stress. I still don't fully get all the mom stuff beyond she thoroughly abused him.

The sex scene was like... what??? and I'm glad I was already aware of its issues because I would've gone beserk if I was watching this weekly for 10 weeks and got that in return wtf. The whole show relies on their emotions and inner conflicts but it felt like neither aspect was truly explored in the scene and made worsened with the horrific editing.

Also I can't fucking reblog but this is maybe the post I was talking about with the translation during the sex scene. Yuan's line implies he's masturbated thinking about Qian which is like the most unsurprising thing ever.

Ep 12 (June 17)

Final episode, hope it at least ends well

Lili figures it out. she's kinda upset that she's the last one to know about it, her lines remind me of when Qian found out about her and San Pang haha

but what does she wanna say, why am I nervous that she's pregnant

lol Qian liking that Yuan's trying to help him out at work

I'm suddenly embarrassed, I really can't do office romances

Xiong-ge showing support in his awkward ways is nice

hehhehe Yuan coming to pick Qian up from work dressed up so nice and Qian kissing him outside after checking nobody's around

I got stressed out by Yuan kissing Qian at work omg in broad daylight with people around

yeah the office fujo will certainly keep this a secret lol as if a bunch of them weren't already gossiping like 4 years ago or whatever

I can't handle office romances guys my body shrivels up and my toes and fingers curl, I'm so embarrassed. can the employees stop squealing about it in public. I'm so stressed out by office gossip even if it's like shippy/supportive. also the excited fujo character can sometimes work for me in high school/college shows because it's like young characters but this in an office is like. no. their family and friends can know but i don't need to see their coworkers finding out unless it's meant to be a point of conflict

how can you be discussing top-bottom dynamics of your boss with your colleagues!! and asking your other boss about it !!!! let's get serious I hate this, I should skip through

HOW CAN YOU ASK THIS TO YOUR FUCKING BOSS?!?!?!?!? HOW CAN THIS BE A POSSIBLE THING?!?!?! this show is generally so grounded, even in it's more out-there aspects, that this is like... what world are we in? so inappropriate and also like probably homophobic because you would not be asking this if Qian was dating a woman

are they insinuating Qian's the top/tiger? That does not go with what I want form this trope so I'm ignoring it lmfao I can do verse because I can almost always ship verse but with the younger-guy-deeply-in-love-with-and-madly-pursues-older-guy-who-is-resistant-and-conflicted trope, I like a younger top

but i think people were also annoyed about this suggestion of top Qian lmfao, I think I remember reading comments about it

ah, Lili is indeed pregnant

aw, hug before the questioning but it's like genuine, not from anger. Especially important for them because their mother was terrible and they don't want a child to go through that again obvs

pls San Pang's also here loll I think it's good the ways they were all in different rooms

the panic when Xiao Bao knelt and the 3 of them also scrambling to kneel, especially when Qian also knelt

aw, Qian really was their da-ge, father, and mother all in one

Qian's afraid Lili will follow in their mother's footsteps (pregnant then married young) and be unhappy

why is this so good T.T

I can't believe the messy sex scene from last ep and the utter bullshit that was the office scene in this ep made me forget for a bit how good this show can be

Damn, they're really saving the surgery thing for the very last few minutes. anyway ik he doesn't die because everything would've gone up in flames if that happened

omg how much timeskip, there's a whole baby now

The office discussion actually made me so uncomfortable, it was so inappropriate and unnecessary, why didn't we take that time to... just show at least a bit of the surgery and aftermath or whatever? Like that was such a huge thing in the past 2-3 eps but it just... disappears and we assume it was successful bc of the ending

Overall:

I'm so glad I got over my pseudo-incest brother-lover aversion because I can now watch this stuff in delight. Though I must say, my favourite aspect of this show is the little family trio with Qian, Yuan, and Lili, with San Pang occasionally invited as well. I loved how they cared for each other and how though Lili was left out of the romantic duo inside their trio, it didn't feel like she was forgotten or sidelined. They each had specific relationships with each of the other people, their interactions had their own flavours and it was so good.

The romance itself hm I think the development was nice, especially from Yuan's side since we saw how he thought of Qian and how he supported him and such. We also saw a bit of how Qian was so lost when Yuan was gone that even San Pang was wondering whether Qian liked Yuan and it would've been better if they hadn't sent him away. It just feels like since there was so much angst and build-up for like 10 episodes, their actual coming together should have been grander. The sex feels a bit sudden, I don't think it should've happened right after that conversation because Qian was barely ready to admit whether he saw Yuan as more romantically than just a brother, and then the editing of it all was terrible.

The surgery stuff also kinda dwindled, if they'd brought it up, I wished they would've at least shown the direct aftermath or whatever. I despised how we had the office Yuan/Qian gossip for so long in episode 12, we could've used it for better things. At least we ended with the Lili pregnancy announcement and coming together over that, which reminded me just at the end why I liked the show.

Some other things I really loved: 1) Qian's face, holy shit. Qian is so beautiful, like incredibly attractive to me, woah. Reminds me of Na Jaemin who I was also taken by when I stanned NCT; is it the lower half of their faces/their mouths? 2) The 2 scenes where Qian finds out Lili and San Pang are dating in ep 8 + finds out Lili's pregnant in ep 12 and just going to kill San Pang lol (also loved how Yuan was enjoying it in ep 8 but was helping San Pang and Lili out in ep 12 lol). 3) The episodes, especially the earlier-middle ones, were so addictive, I didn't end up reading the on-air reddit threads because I was too into watching the next ep instead of reading about it.

In the end, I don't think I'll think about it often, especially not the Yuan/Qian ship unless just to remember the brother-lover trope and even then, Kiseki's Chen Yi/Ai Di gave me more intense brainworms for a similar trope I think. I'm disappointed that I didn't love the show, its flaws are at moments that are too important. So deeply conflicted about whether to give 6 or 6.5, I'll go with 6.5 for now.

Rating: 6.5/10

#unknown #ep by ep commentary #unknown the series

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callmehabie · 1 year ago

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So somewhat probably unpopular opinion, but I think Rebels did Thrawn and his characterization a little dirty. I love Rebels, this was a minor issue for me. But still.

They sort of wrote him as just-a-bad-guy. And I get it, he was the primary antagonist for a while. But he's also playing double-secret-triple-agent for the Ascendancy. And he climbs those Imperial ranks so quick because he's good at his job. And then, perhaps most important to me, he's a darn good leader.

Like the Empire is rife with alien racism from the top down. But he's still universally liked and respected by his people and it's for a reason. The books show us over and over that he's a good leader and if you're willing to learn he's a good teacher. He collects protégés for a reason. Pellaeon is STILL out there prepping for his return for a reason.

But not only do we not see that in Rebels, but what we do see him is him snapping and taking it out on one of his lowest ranked dudes. And like that sucks. That's out of character.

So something I LOVED and really appreciated about Ahsoka and Thrawn's glorious reintroduction was that all of his troopers lined up to chant his fucking name. Sure, some or all of them may be undead Nightsister zombies. That's cool. But he kept the team together for a decade countless lightyears from home. And he probably did it by being a really good fucking leader.

#thrawn #Ahsoka #Ahsoka spoilers #grand admiral thrawn

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ooops-i-arted · 1 year ago

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idk if this is an unwelcome rant or anything but I saw your anti ahs0ka posts from july and I’m just….so frustrated. I don’t want to sound like a dudebro but as someone whose favorite SW character is Luke I just can’t stand Star Wars anymore. I personally didn’t like him in tlj, but I could accept it—but then they just sort of kept chipping at him through every new piece of media. He’s strange in mando/tbobf, no one will join his temple despite apparently all of these older force sensitives surviving rotj, even obi-wan is retconned to know leia more. now this shit w this show, where #she is the self-insert in thrawn stuff. also you don’t even have to be FS anymore, etc etc. the “important Jedi lineage” is now obi-wan-anakin-ahs0ka, bc who even cares about luke amirite. it just sucks because I did genuinely used to like her, but with every new thing it could not be more clear that narratively she should have died bc now the whole gffa’s story is hers

I'd love to say I'm above petty rant but I am SO not, your rant is most welcome. If you don't have anything nice to say about Ahsoka, come sit by me. 😉 (Honestly I'm just happy to see other people acknowledging what a poorly written character she is when I've been saying this since the Rebels season 2 finale. I definitely felt like the only one back then.)

More seriously.... yeah, I do get the feeling of everything you loved about Star Wars being chipped away. I hope those who do enjoy it have fun and all, I don't begrudge anyone that, but I can't lie, I do kinda feel the same way. Like it's all being rewritten Filoni-style. And George Lucas he is not, no matter how much he thinks he is. Also I don't presume to know Timothy Zahn's feelings but I still think it's shitty and disrespectful as hell to carve a big hole out of the wonderful, iconic Thrawn trilogy and plop Ahsoka in. It's becoming REAL obvious that Filoni isn't the creative genius he's hailed as, he strip mines Legends for ideas and then gets the credit.

At this point I almost rather they leave Luke alone. Han is my BOY and they already did him so dirty (left Leia, returned to smuggling invalidating all his character development in the OT, gets a crappy death from his shitty incel son - I did like Solo but it was too little to late) so I 100% get your feelings there. It's like Disney doesn't even care how important these characters are so many people in their rush to replace them with their new, safely copyrighted and controlled characters. And ofc Filoni props his TCW OCs over all. Just look at how Mando S3 had Din and Grogu's story trashed so Girlboss Barbie Bo could feature instead. I'm not sure why they're so resistant to paying writers, they clearly need some new ones.

#anti ahsoka show #anti ahsoka tano #if you don't have anything nice to say about ahsoka come sit by me lmao #anon #asks

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aleeyenn · 2 years ago

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Hello aleeyenn! I'm the anon who requested and sent that message!

I had to make a whole account because I wanted to show you an image, but anons aren't allowed to do that, so I had to rewrite everything, so my apologies!

Also, my apologize if this is simply weird in general, I dunno if I should stick to Tumblr (since you did, you're the least active here) >.<

But I wanted to say, I'm incredibly happy and honored that my message meant so much to you! I'm really honored and soo hyped because you and your work really mean so much to me, as in your one of my biggest inspirations, so I was so excited to read that!! Thank you! Please keep drawing and creating. (Also, have you considered making full body refs for your gijinkas :o?)

I did want to gush and say why I love your Pin (and all your other gijinkas) and felt really seen. It's because of how unique and out of box the designs are that you rarely see with other designs, while still capturing the same personalities and aesthetic (and even shape sometimes) of the original characters.

But to be specific, thank you for making her super feminine and pretty, while keeping her punk side!!! >u<

Alot of other gijinkas design her in typical biker / rebel chick get up w/ a lot of metal spikes, which dose makes sense, because of her metal part on the top of her (and fits her tough leader role personality wise) a lot of also make her body type in an hourglass, which also makes since, since Irl pins are in those shapes.

But what I really appreciate about your design is that you went in the opposite direction! I love how you made Pin wear these big poofy clothes and aprons! It's not only an easy and unique way to reference the shape of an actual pin, but it highlights a side of her that I don't really see the fandom highlight all that often. Her love of baking, gardening, her being bit of caretaker and just an friendly and easy-going person. I also just love seeing blk and poc women just being so happy and being femmine, it's so rare to see that and makes me so happy.

But another small design choice that I can't over and that made me go over on the edge on the "omg she's literally me" train. Are her punk boots! I know it's there to show off how big and tall she is compared to her meow, but I really like the contrast! And still showing off a little of her and toughie side, that she doesn't mind getting dirty. I love you can show off that is a caring and soft person yet still commanding woman by just a design!

This means so much to me, because I didn't think I could consider myself part of the alt community, due to me being really femmine and plus sized, I thought I didn't really fit, but I think seeing your version of Pin made me realize that being "punk" means so many diffrent things, and I don't really have to be super thing and pale to order to be an part of that culture, and never realizing that I could be considered pretty

Also, I just love how you draw her with your version of Coiny, it's so adorable and again, it's amazing to see a happy plus sized girl being loved and adore by a guy, not be treated as joke., thank you so much

Thats all! My apologizes for going on lesbian and analytical mode on your inbox, I'm deeply sorry if I come across as weird, you probability were not thinking that hard or deep with your designs, but I just really admire of how all of them are breath of fresh air, I have known a specific person that looks exactly like one of designs in my family when I think about it!

I just want to say before I go, is that this what I specifically want to go out and cosplay as, as it's what totally made me single handedly self-confident that I could be pretty in the alt community when I so low on myself

I love this drawing of Pin so much, you have no ideal it meant so much, I know it's sound silly that a doodle affected me, but seriously, I thought I could never look fit in or look pretty in that aesthetic with my weight, interests, and skin

When I saw this and started really seeing myself in it, literally I went in my head "wow, if your Pin can look so beautiful in that, I guess I can!" and it somehow changed a lot of my perspective of me.

Thank you so much again aleeyenn! I'm currently getting started, thank you for making my entire year just by existing and drawing. Keep doing what you are doing and amazing work, and I hope you have an amazing new year!

I WOULDVE ANSWERED THIS SOONER BUT I WANTED TO MAKE A REF FOR PIN FOR YOU! but GAAAHHHH nobody has ever said anything like that to me before and it MEANS SOOOOO MUCH I CANT EXPRESS IT 😭😭😭 when i make humanizations allllll i want is for them to make people feel represented and confident in themselves and MY DREAM CAME TRUE!!!im like. genuinely so happy that you said all that and really analyzed her because i actually put a lot of thought into some humanizations i make and she was one of them… i feel like with a bunch of pin gjinkas they either make her super feminine or super punk without an in between and i wanted to make an in between because it’s what she needs .. nobody like really acknowledges both parts of her i feel like a lot of everyone sees her as a shy anxious girl or rude and cold person because they focus mostly on pre split bfb and that irks me … because shes really not just an anxious person she is a leader and blah blah blah but i really wanted to push every aspect of her into a humanization to make her recognized as herself instead of someone she’s not … but no more rambling THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR YOUR KIND WORDS AND IM SO HAPPY MY ART MADE YOU FEEL THAT WAY 😢 you are so sweet and i’m literally over the moon that you like her that much and saw so much in her Like my design isn’t just a design it made someone more confident and accepting of themselves THATS SO CRAZY! thank you thank you thank you… i hope you enjoy these little drawings i whipped up i need to make more references anyway so this was a good head start… THANK HOUUUU and remember there’s nothing more powerful than embracing and being yourself and never stop doing that! YAYYYYY!

#tpot pin #ALSO THAT DRAWING…. ITS OLD ENOUGH TO BE EMBARRASSING #i remember making it i wanted to draw pin in an alt-ish outfit so i went on tt to look for one #i need to redraw it someday

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thecleverqueer · 1 year ago

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Look. I’m pretty sure that the Inquisitor in the Ahsoka marketing is not Barriss Offee.

In fact, I’m pretty certain that Barriss isn’t going to show up at all in Ahsoka (at least in the first season anyway). Here’s why:

First, if Filoni had wanted to use Barriss as an Inquisitor, he would have done it already. Why not just throw her into Rebels? She literally could have been the Seventh Sister, a Mirialan who served a pretty significant role in the second season. She wasn’t. He didn’t. Why would he now? Now that the Empire has fallen? It makes very little sense. I don’t think Barriss’s ideology would match that of the Inquisitors. Sure, she could have been tortured in prison, and been made to turn to the dark side… but her whole ass shtick in canon was opposing the Jedi because they’d become an army for the darkness. It’s the reason that she gave for blowing up the temple in the first place. If she wasn’t offed during Order 66 by the clones, and/or Vader didn’t kill her later, I have to assume that she escaped the chaos somehow and did something else. Maybe she’s working with Baylon and Shin doing whatever the hell it is they’re doing (a definite possibility), but we will not find out about it in the first season.

Secondly, the Barriss thing is A LOT to unpack. Whatever the hell happened there, it wasn’t that simple. Unpacking the whole bombing/framing story arc and why it happened alone would take at least two episodes, and I just don’t see them having time this season. This first season of Ahsoka is VERY LIKELY going to be about introducing the Ghost Crew, Huyang, very likely Captain Rex, Ahsoka and her villains to a live action audience, finding Ezra and Thrawn and Ahsoka making peace with being a Jedi (I am assuming this based on the marketing, the interviews that I have read from the creatives involved in the show and from the previous narrative trajectory- I could be wrong, but I’m probably not). That’s a lot in and of itself. It’s a tall order. They’re not going to be able to squeeze any of the Barriss story-line in there too.. it would take a lot of additional explaining with an already jam-packed narrative. It’s too much. It would be WAY too much.

Barriss will not be able to just pop in and back out of this. Swaths of fandom think Barriss’s character was done kind of dirty. Most loved her from legends where she was a gifted healer that died during Order 66 being a hero on the battlefield. She was whittled down in canon to being a quiet, tormented soul that bombed the Jedi temple and framed her girlfriend best friend for murder. I think if Filoni does bring her back, it’ll be for the purpose of redemption. She won’t be a villain, at least not in the outright sense (as a imperial or imperial remnant). It’s out of character, even for canon Barriss.

I know a lot of folks want answers. I mean, she is probably THE LAST remaining open thread from the Clone Wars: the one character that didn’t have some sort of finalized arc (I mean, at this point, they’ve even addressed the Zillo beast, so…). It’s just likely not going to happen in Ahsoka’s first season. We’ll just have to keep waiting.

#star wars #ahsoka tano #barriss offee #ahsoka series #inquisitor #inquisitorius #that inquisitor is not barriss #the clone wars #should I mark this barrissoka #it probably isn’t starkiller either just fyi

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yukidragon · 1 year ago

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I was curious about whether the bad yogurt combo could possibly shed some more specific light on Joseph’s traumatic past.

Like maybe coffee was constantly used to keep him alert for long hours while being overworked on learning lines, maybe the rum sauce reminded him of using alcohol to cope (potentially even past alcoholism? He had to remind himself he was ‘clean now’ and could be whoever he wanted to be).

Maybe the cashews reminded him of snacking on packets of nuts when he didn’t get enough time for a proper meal break. (Though art shows it was donuts being held in his mouth while busy reading lines.) Nuts are also served at bars alongside alcohol.

Also Ian apparently liked cashews on pizza… I have no idea how Jackseph could possibly even know that but perhaps it briefly crossed Sunshine’s mind while making Jack his yogurt. I can’t imagine he would have liked that.

Ps. I love your in-depth interpretations and discussions on Jack. I like digging into interactions and lore.

Aww, thank you so much! Reading that made me very happy.

I think your thoughts are very insightful. Nuts are a pretty popular pairing to alcohol, which is often used as a drug of choice for coping with stressful situations, much like Joseph's cigarettes. Coffee could be argued as another drug due to the effects of caffeine, though a more benign one. With the bags he had under his eyes and how tired he was in some of the teaser art, it does seem like he would need that pick-me-up to make it through the day.

While I find the reference to Ian with the cashews to be very interesting, especially when they're part of the worst yogurt combination... I don't think that's related to the trauma response. Really, it might just be another deliberate parallel between Ian and Joseph that's being drawn in the story.

When you get down to it, Ian and Joseph have a lot of similarities. They're both actors, they both want love, they both want MC specifically, they're both friends with MC, and they both have been given the role of Sunny Day Jack. I suspect that there's going to be deliberate echoes in Ian's story that relates to Joseph's and how badly that ended. The cashews might be another hint at that.

Interestingly enough, combining caffeine and alcohol is actually really bad for you. As I recall from an episode of Food Theory, caffeine dilates the arteries to increase blood flow and makes the alcohol concentration in the blood increase to dangerous levels. This combination has led to people being hospitalized or even dying. It's not exactly the best combination for one's health, but some people do it anyway despite the risks.

Sadly, sometimes people get addicted to things that are dangerous and unhealthy due to stress or other factors. The entertainment industry is absolutely rife with stories of substance abuse, and I suspect, sadly, Joseph was among those who dabbled in various kinds of drugs.

It's entirely possible that Joseph could've even been pressured to partake in addictive drugs like alcohol, smoking, or even illegal drugs because of social pressure. It's sadly an all too common problem, especially when in a situation where a person feels they must conform to the group or risk being outed from it.

Joseph was homeless and struggling to get by before he joined the SunnyTime Crew Show. He apparently had no love as a kid and rebelled, maybe even falling in with a group that smoked and did awful things just to fit in. It's entirely possible that he is especially susceptible to peer pressure just on the off chance of being loved.

Sadly... this is even reflected in the present. Jack will be whatever MC wants him to be. He makes that clear. He'll give them whatever they want. If they asked him to do something... he'll probably do it, even if reluctantly, if it means they'll love him, need him, and won't forget him...

Jack might be clean now, and he might want to stay that way, but he's desperate enough to get his hands dirty with blood in order to keep his sunshine... so who knows how far he'll go just to be loved?

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Ask

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zahlibeth · 10 months ago

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2023 bingo roundup

new years resolutions don't work for me, but having a bingo card to check every month keeps me thinking about new things. I managed triple bingo this year?! Thoughts about all of them under the cut - may not be of interest to anyone other than me, but it is my blog so

Random other stats books: 17 (+1) most recommended: Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir (sci-fi. man in rocket trying to save earth. best read without further spoilers. enjoy?) most loved: the Rebel Kings MC series by Garrett Leigh which has sent me into full brain rot. queer biker brotherhood - romance and found family and trauma and violence

movies: 21 new favourites: Dungeons & Dragons, Nimona, Red, White and Royal Blue.

tv: 29 different shows, 34 full seasons. 8 partial seasons - some affectionate (actively watching Succession S2, Sons of Anarchy S4), some derogatory (gave up on Picard S3 and Star Trek: Strange New Worlds S1)

Bingo squares A&E visit - read "ER visit". put this one in because up until this year kiddo had found herself in a&e at least once every year. this year? no, husband had a weird heart thing that resolved itself (??? bodies.) and i fucked my wrist by falling over while running with kiddo on her bike, to the point where i needed it x-rayed (it was fine)

appearance change - fucked around with my hair a little, cut it fairly short over the summer, braided it a bit, currently growing it out

redecorated - god so many things. i re-organised the bathroom to be somewhat tidier (and easier to clean!) and also bought a snake plant (she's doing lovely). we finally put up the border in kiddo's room. (she's 5. we bought it 7 years ago. 2016.) and then also bought and put together a bedside table and reading lamp for her. we hung curtain rails and put new blackout curtains in her room (grey) and ours (beautiful bottle green). decluttered half the kitchen and the sides are clean??? and staying tidy??? and then i had a december meltdown and we put together a little bookshelf upstairs to hold puzzles and two giant ones downstairs, ditching the sideboard via facebook marketplace and finally decluttering the living room. we have an ikea trip planned for tomorrow to get a million baskets to organise said bookshelves. also we reorganised the cupboard under the stairs and got a new shelf thing in there, made possible by the clearout i did earlier in the year. and i framed and hung kiddo's amazing penguin on the wall. phew.

new favourite foods - discovered 3 new takeaways that do incredible things + fries. very dangerous. one is colombian street food (loaded sweetcorn dirty fries, tostones), one is straight up fried chicken (spicy fries with hot sauce, cheese sauce and crispy onions), one is asian fusion (chili brisket noodles or hoisin crispy duck fries. plus gyoza). also husband discovered rasperry frangipane tarts at the shop and they are the perfect sweet and sharp deliciousness

happy news - new nephew! the recipient of The Baby Blanket, he is three months old now and the cuddliest delight

good surprise - surprise flowers from husband and kiddo. surprise birthday wishes (and gifts?!) <333 and in reverse I also snuck a needle minder on to husband's cross stitch and pulled together a couple of little surprises for kiddo. i think we're going to do an easter egg scavenger hunt this year.

self knowledge - no big revelations this year, thank fuck (and uhh sorry to those few of you that i might have nudged into revelations of your own.) I DID discover a couple new ways to get a brain reset when needed though

new routines - bread making, skincare, trying to be more organised about cleaning the house, got a little library routine with the kiddo, got interdental brushes back into the teeth routine, kiddo has her own bedtime routine by herself

apologised for a fuck up - yeah i had a couple of these, including one i just. ignored. for a month or so. not proud of that. glad i cleared the air

caught covid - for the first time! kiddo's final gift out of pre-school

got dressed up - kiddo came out with us for dinner on my birthday, that was a lot of fun, glad she's old enough to do this now! couple of other dinners, christmas etc. nothing big. waiting for the day she and i can wear matching dresses to a wedding

new skills - bread making, various knitting techniques (flat, in the round, intarsia, some cabling, pattern drafting, various increases and decreases, colour changing etc), but also: french and dutch braids (mostly on the kiddo, growing my hair out a little more for me) and photoshop giffing just about

survived a bad decision - not sure i have much specific to point to for this one. i fucked up a couple of times and recovered in a couple of ways. i did also figure out how to fix a complete brain meltdown so that helped a lot.

cried - yeah, a bunch of times actually. some fic that destroyed me. some complete emotional and physical exhaustion. and then the time my bastard husband (affectionate) made me sit through "slipping through my fingers" from the mamma mia soundtrack. a song that made me emotional before i had a kid and now d e s t r o y s me. but we were listening to the soundtrack in the car and he didn't skip it so i just sat there in floods of tears until it was over. cathartic

misc favourites - new fandom in Rebel Kings MC <333 and all that goes with that: new characters, new ships, fic that looks into my soul, you know, the usual.

being brave (blank) - left two blank, have decided one of these gets to be filled for being brave - spotted something at work that's ethically and legally dodgy, so had to speak up and get it agreed that we would remove something from a couple of systems so we're not violating anything. I think i railroaded everyone into just agreeing with me by turning up well-informed and determined? I had to re-explain it again recently, but at least people seem inclined to agree.

new friendship - um. this one is hilarious in retrospect? I have made several very lovely tumblr friendships this year but i don't think i initiated a single one? beyond commenting occasionally on posts, I think all of you have messaged me first so. thank you <3. and if you've been in my DMs this absolutely includes you fyi. I also managed to make friends with a couple of different parents at kiddo's school so that's good! not close friends, but at least someone i can talk to at the inevitable events. (and then there's you, who i didn't anticpate at all <333)

bad recipe - actually only one on my list this year? I tried to make potato rosti and it was just ??? burnt and also raw??? so unappealing i never even tried a redo

new craft - well. knitting. not much else to say here!

other thoughts - the fact that i don't have any new tech says something about the brain space I DIDN'T have this year. badly need to upgrade my desktop but i can't face the research right now. my kindle battery is also dying a death but then i have to think about non-amazon alternatives and blah.

don't know if this should get its own square, but i got to meet another discord friend this year and take her for a walk around York city walls, so that was an unexpected delight.

over all it was a much more productive year than i expected, and it's nice to think about the progress i made, especially when a lot of things still suck in a lot of ways and are hard to deal with. trying to carry that energy into 2024 and maybe we can also fix some of the harder things too

(if you read this far i love you. if you just skipped right to the end i still love you. wonder what i should put in the bingo this year)

#zahli 2023 roundup #z

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thepatchycat · 1 year ago

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Hi, I’m a real new shiny here (on Tumblr, but also at drawing), and it’s the first time I ask anything, so I hope it’s ok. I must say first that I love the way you draw TCW characters (especially the clones)! 😍 I just came across this sketch you made on canvas (if I remember correctly) https://www.tumblr.com/thepatchycat/729224397978828800 and I was wondering, if you don’t mind sharing, how do you get the perfect white background on non-digital drawings? I currently use a scanner app on my sketches and the results are always inconsistent and far from that white… thanks a lot in advance!! 😊

Welcome to the Tumblr crew, shiny! ;) And thank you kindly!

So my dirty secret for that sketch is... it actually is completely digital! I drew it in a program called Rebelle 5, which is designed to mimic traditional canvas/paper and pencils/paints. I picked it up for super cheap during a huge sale last year, and it's a lot of fun; unfortunately, it's usually pretty expensive, as many art programs are. I highly recommend keeping an eye out for sales though if you ever get into digital drawing--and if you'd like a free program, the one I use most of the time is MediBang. But those programs are really mostly helpful for digital art, not so much for scanning actual pencil sketches.

While I tend to stick to digital drawing nowadays, I definitely feel you on the scan cleanliness issue; phone pictures and even proper printer scans tend to end up either kind of dirty or faded. The short answer is that I don't actually have an easy and effective solution, but there might be some things you can try depending on what you have available. I wouldn't be surprised if you've already explored more methods than I have, and there are definitely people with better ideas and more experience than me, but I'll share what I've tried.

Long(er)-winded rambling under the cut!

So, I currently have an unfinished piece sitting in my files that began as a traditional drawing, one that I want to keep all the pencil details for. Here's the sketchbook page, scanned using a household printer:

Not terrible, but it'd be nice to have clearer contrast between the lines and the background. In MediBang, I can adjust the contrast by going to Filter>Levels (or Ctrl+L), which gives me a little box that looks like this:

I don't technically know the nitty gritty of how it works, but by my understanding, the outer triangles for the input and output indicate the range boundaries. Adjusting the input--particularly the darker boundary--so that the output boundary exceeds it basically tells the program to make the darker parts even darker, resulting in this:

Better! As you can see, though, the darker parts of the background also show up a bit more. Rather than relying only on contrast adjustments, what I actually ended up doing was carefully erasing the background around the drawing after adding a plain white layer underneath, and also going over some of the lines digitally. I did this first in MediBang (the only art program I had when I started working on it), then transferred the file over to Rebelle.

MediBang (left) has the pure white background, while the Rebelle (right) canvas settings I chose are a little off-white and more textured, which I think blends a bit better with the texture and shading of the image. It's possible to add textures and the like in MediBang, too, but Rebelle has it built into its design, so it's a little easier to figure out there; I'll likely finish this piece in Rebelle (whenever I get back to doing so, haha), since the canvas and brush settings will be easier to match to the texture of everything that came directly from the drawing.

Most of this is much easier to do with a drawing tablet/pen, unless you're a wizard with a mouse. As for traditional means... the best suggestion I can come up with is to try inking sketches, or at least darkening them further with a pencil. The more contrast you can get between your lines and the background, the more easily you can digitally tease that contrast out even further. I think most photo editors have at least some contrast, color, and brightness adjusters, and probably more useful functions I don't even know about--it never hurts to mess around with any program's filters and settings to see what happens!

Good luck, and happy drawing! :D

#Patchy Babbles #Asks #I love getting asks so it's more than okay!#Sorry the answer is basically that that sketch is a lie haha #Someone on the internet has probably figured out more effective tricks but that someone is not me #Also your art looks super good!#You have a great eye for detail~

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pacificwaternymph · 2 years ago

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What do you think s2 jimmy/the sheriff would look and act like as a child

Do you think Jimmy always wanted to be a sheriff or is that a resent development

is it a family business and jimmy’s family is unofficial royalty because even though there’s elections the people in the family always run unopposed and the one picked ahead of time to be the next sheriff is the unofficial heir and is always trained for the position young by being made deputy to the sheriff

Or is it new because they are pioneers that just settled My headcannon is that as a child jimmy was a homeless orphan ignored by everyone

After his mother died he lost hope and just focus on staying alive until one day a group of kids visited the village it was big news and everyone came out to see the sight because the kids that visited where royalty from far off kingdoms future rulers

Jimmy saw how everyone stopped what they where doing just so they could get a glimpse of the promising youngsters and he was struck with longing to be noticed like them

From that day onward he made it his goal to become an emperor so people would love him like his mother used to

he dreamed up tumble town a place where he wouldn’t be an outcast and where people would respect him

He chose to settle in a dessert because in the town when it would rain due to not having a shelter he would get soaked and his belongings would risk being ruined

Because he was homeless he never when to school he only recently learned to read

In the town where he grew up there was a very wealthy family that had a young daughter named kirsty

kirsty was always told by her snobby parents to stay faraway from the dirty scrawny kid she would see sometimes around town and she did as she was told until one day she got lost in the woods she was scared and alone but then she found a cave in the cave was jimmy’s “home” she didn’t question it she was taught not to question anything if it benefited her

She took a look around and found many things food taken from the garbage, a poorly made cowboy hat and drawings of a sherif surrounded by townsfolk and adorned by them all

Then Jimmy returned at first he was embarrassed but then she started to ask about his plans and he started sharing the two of them talked until the Time came for him to show her back but that wasn’t the end of there friendship it was just the beginning

Kirsty would stop by whenever she could not telling her parents of course they would approve of her friend she was supposed to be learning to be proper lady a perfect example of a southern bell in the making not out climbing trees or digging in trash for food and other things to help jimmy

as the days went by she started to feel trapped jimmys enthusiasm inspired her his want for more made her want more

She encouraged jimmy to share his plans with others they started to recruit people Jimmys passion of infectious

Soon enough they started to put the plan into motion kirsty funded most of it but the others helped to so the pioneers set out to create tumble town

Jimmy has dedicated his life to tumble town and as you can imagine is terrified he will be replaced and cast out once again after all he was the outsider that went from the bottom straight to the top

he over works himself a lot trying to build the buildings and do all the paperwork so he doesn’t have to ask others because he feels he might loose their support and they will leave if he oversteps and pushes them away

I headcanon Joel to be the opposite he was born into health and and influence he much like kirsty was excepted to be a dignified and perfect from birth

Once he was put in charge he was finally free to do what he wanted he was like those kids that are super restricted and when they rebel they go way overboard

So Jimmy and joel are complete opposite

one had responsibility and devotion thrust onto him and the other had to fight tooth and nail for it

one craves the approval of other while the other stopped caring about what others think a long time ago

Speaking of kirsty how do you think she would fit maybe she is living in tumble town and is the mayor working closely with jimmy who makes the laws and enforces them and communicating with the other emperors as the face of the town while she handles finances and keeps track of resources or she could be a thief not a bandit but still a criminal she could be the cat woman to him Batman or the Goldie oguilt to his Scrooge mcduck

I had a cool idea with no evidence in cannon but interesting so you know about the headcannons where jimmy was a bandit or something before becoming the sheriff well I don’t know about the bandit angle but the past criminal activity is cool so I was thinking what if as a kid he was manipulated by his mother that had him unknowingly committing crimes and so the backstory is that his mother had him with his father who was the sheriff before him she ran away with Jimmy because he was so focused on being the sheriff and she turned to crime she loved her son but even more then that she was self so when she noticed how much like his father he was and knew where it was going she revealed the truth to him he was horrified and ran away to be the sheriff of tumble town but that wasn’t the last time they met his mother had tried to replace him with more “kids” she took in criminals that would do what she said and targeted tumble town because she wanted to mess with Jimmy the bandits aren’t allowed to kill him but maiming is allowed and they can do what they please with the rest of tumble town just as long as the repay her by terrorizing tumble town

And if it’s new what do you think he wanted to be growing up before he decided sheriff it would be funny if he wanted to be a outlaw or something as long as the repay her by the opposite of sheriff but I think the imagery as a child of a little Jimmy wearing big hand me down sheriff clothes and hat is very adorable or a handmade hat that would make any seamstress faint in horror

Or maybe he was the deputy to a past sheriff and in the past he had a nasty habit of trusting the criminals that where in the prison which would result in them tricking him and getting away making the sheriff scold him for being to trusting because no one would respect him if he let people manipulate him like that Jimmy also had it drilled into him that the sheriffs word is law and everybody in town had to follow the sheriffs instructions the deputy which explains a lot of his attitude towards his own deputies

wow this is long any way I hope you are able to decipher what the heck I just wrote

Wow this is a really cool idea!!

I honestly have no idea what Jimmy’s past is but these are some really interesting thoughts.

Past criminal Jimmy is a particularly tantalizing concept tbh…

I think you should write this down in your own post haha.

#Empires smp s2 #jimmy solidarity #solidaritygaming #solidarity gaming #empires smp

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