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restlessfandoming · 3 years

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“the president and the troublemaker” (part 7) (chilumi fic)

“Lumine is the student council president and Childe is the school’s number one troublemaker. They cross paths more than they’d like. Especially when Childe finds out Lumine’s big secret. Highschool AU à la Kaichou wa Maid-sama.”

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6]

UPDATE: this is now it’s own standalone fic on AO3! (since it’s much longer than the fics/oneshots i usually put in “i’ll fight the stars for you”)

[Fic Masterlist] // [AO3 Link] // [Main AO3]

the president and the troublemaker (part 7)

I love you, Lumine. I love you, Lumine.

I love you I love you Iloveyouiloveyou.

Those were the only words bouncing around the walls of Lumine’s skull as she dashed down the stairs, desperate to reach Childe as soon as possible.

Oh, and the thought of, You idiot. You idiot. YOU IDIOT, CHILDE!

She ran past globs of students, who all turned their heads in confusion, as the President—who was usually the one who shouted, “No running down the hallways!”—was now the one rushing past everyone.

She burst out of one of the school’s side entrances, making her way to the pool area where she had seen him fall.

Please be alive, you idiot.

She rounded the corner, going through the metal fence gate, the subtle smell of pool water entering her nose. Then the pool was in her sight.

Sitting on the edge, was Chlide, alive. His school uniform was dripping wet and shredded, his face and body were covered in scratches, and there were twigs tangled in his orange locks. He was taking in shuddering breaths, one hand holding his side painfully.

Lumine finally let herself slow down, taking staggering steps towards Childe. At the sound of her footsteps approaching, he looked up.

He smiled widely, and held up the photo that had fallen. “I’m pretty awesome, aren’t I?” he said.

Lumine just looked at him, him smiling at her like all of the pain in his body had suddenly disappeared. You’re in pain, idiot. Stop smiling, she wanted to say.

But instead, her legs shook under her, and she collapsed onto her knees next to him, unable to stop the stupid meek smile breaking out on her face. “Yes,” she conceded quietly. “Yes, you are.” She took in a shaky breath. “Don’t...don’t ever do something like that again.”

A tiny chuckle came from Childe. “What’s this? The President is worried about me? And not the other way around for once?”

Before Lumine could respond, the two heard the shuffling of footsteps, and the student council came through the gates to the pool.

Bennett came forward to Lumine. “What’s going on? We heard a commotion—”

Lumine stood up. “Hospital! We have to get a hospital for Childe!”

“Oh my! What happened?” Noelle asked worriedly.

Lumine blinked. Maybe it’s time I tell them the truth. If they had known the truth, something like this wouldn’t have happened…

“Same old, same old,” Childe spoke up before Lumine could. “Pres was chasing me down to write me up for skipping class, so I jumped off the roof.” He shrugged. “No big deal.”

Xiao sighed, rubbing his forehead. “You thought jumping off the roof was the best way to avoid being written up?”

“Nevermind that!” Amber started running. “I’ll go call an ambulance straight away!”

The rest of the student council followed Amber, except for Aether, who stood a few feet away, his mouth in a taut line.

Lumine frowned, and went to him. “Aether, is something wrong?” she asked quietly.

He looked at her, and Lumine knew straight away he was disappointed. “No.” He turned away. “Let’s go get that ambulance for our dear friend.” He walked off.

Lumine watched his receding back with furrowed brows. Aether was always one to get along with anyone, never expressing any sort of dislike for any individual.

And yet, the venom behind “our dear friend” had Lumine convinced Childe was his arch nemesis, which did not sit well with her at all. For some odd reason or another, she wanted Childe and her brother to get along.

“What was that about?” Childe asked.

“I don’t know…,” Lumine responded. “But I intend to find out.”

* * *

After going with Childe to the hospital, Lumine and Aether found themselves waiting outside his room as he underwent various examinations to see what damage had been done to his body.

The hallways had quieted down, a few doctors and nurses walking back and forth, with muted conversations humming far away. Lumine and Aether sat next to each other in silence.

A few more moments passed, then Lumine finally broke the silence. “Aether, tell me what’s wrong.”

He took a deep breath in. “What were you doing with Childe?” he asked.

Lumine sighed. “I was doing Albedo’s study and Childe showed up. I told Albedo that him and I weren’t friends, and he seemed upset by it, so I went to talk to him.”

Aether stared at the tiled ground beneath them for a while. “Are you?” he finally said. “Are you two friends?”

“I love you, Lumine.” Lumine rubbed her forehead, trying to get Childe’s words out of her mind. “Kind of. Something like that. I guess.”

“You really don’t sound so sure.”

“Would it be so bad, Aether?” she nearly snapped. “Would it really be so bad if Childe and I were friends?”

Aether frowned slightly. “Lumi, I told you that getting involved with him was a bad idea. We have no idea who he is and what he does when he isn’t around us. And, if anyone found out the two of you are ‘friends?’ Well, you can bet that your reputation would go straight down the drain.”

Lumine stared at her twin. Yes, everything he had said was true. He was always the sensible one, the thinker of the two. Lumine, on the other hand, acted on her feelings; she was the instigator, the fighter.

And her feelings knew something wasn’t right.

“You don’t know him. The people at school don’t know him,” she answered quietly. “You guys aren’t the ones who have seen how kind and selfless he can be.”

“Lumine, what are you talking about—”

“He's been there for me a lot recently. He’s saved my ass more than I can admit, and I think that speaks for itself.” She clasped her hands together. “I don’t think he’s such a bad guy as we thought in the past.” She looked up at her brother. “Give him a chance.” He deserves it...after all he’s done for me.

Aether’s face was worn with confusion and pain. Lumine could understand why.

As twins, they always had a special connection together. They were always best friends, knew all of each other’s secrets, always following each other, always side-by-side.

And now, they were on two different sides. All because of one orange-haired troublemaker.

The door next to them opened, and out walked the doctor, who informed the twins they could go in and see Childe if they wished, before heading off.

Lumine stood while Aether remained seated. She waited by the door, but Aether didn’t budge.

“I…,” he started. He stood up slowly. “I’ll see you back home.”

There was a twinge in Lumine’s heart as she watched her brother walk away. She had half a mind to go after him, to agree with him, and have her life return back to normal.

But she didn’t move. She stayed right there, her hand on the door handle.

And then the door opened, pulling her abruptly inside, and causing her to trip over her own feet.

Fortunately, Childe caught her.

“Childe?” Lumine looked up at him with wide eyes. There were bandages wrapped all over his body, and his face was twisted in a wince as he struggled to hold her up.

Lumine quickly scrambled out of his arms. “What are you doing up?! Aren’t you supposed to be resting?”

Childe rubbed his arms. “I got bored.” He tilted his head. “Aren’t you supposed to be at school right now?”

“Why would I be at school when you’re—”

“Injured?” A large smile stretched across Childe’s face. “So you’d rather be here to take care of me than be a responsible president and stay at school?”

Heat crept into Lumine’s face. “I am being responsible,” she said. “I was the one who got you here in the first place,” she continued as she went to the hospital bed, readjusting the pillows and blankets, “so it’s only right that I am here for your recovery as well.”

“What a treat,” Childe chimed. “The President is playing nurse for me.” He turned towards the door. “I’ll have to indulge later. Being cooped up in here all day has made me antsy.”

Lumine threw herself against the door, shutting it closed. “If you don’t like being cooped up, I’d say you should actually rest so you can recover quicker.”

Childe laughed, then put an arm above Lumine’s head, and leaned forward, his body towering over hers. “Make me,” he murmured, his face dangerously close to hers.

I love you, Lumine.

His words flashed through her mind, and her whole body jolted with electricity.

She put her hands on his chest, pushing him back slightly. “I-If you don’t,” she stuttered. Her eyes focused on the floor, unable to meet Childe’s intense gaze. “I-I’ll hate you forever.” After a moment, she looked up to see Childe’s expression had softened.

There was a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Well, now.” He moved back from her. “I wouldn’t like that very much.” He made his way back to the bed, leaning back on the pillows. He looked back to her, blue eyes shining. “Does this mean you actually like me right now?”

“S-Shut up!” she blurted. She flung the door open, and muttered, “I’ll be right back,” before stepping out of the room.

She let out a shuddering breath, leaning against the closed door.

Damn you, Childe.

Her hand clutched her shirt, feeling her heavy heartbeat through her chest.

What are you doing to me?

* * *

Lumine looked over the list in her hand, stacking up all the books and paperwork she needed. She picked up the heavy stack, shuffling towards her front door.

“Where are you going with all that?” Aether asked behind her.

Uh-oh.

“I…” She started to come up with a lie, but stopped herself. Aether wasn’t someone she could lie to. She sighed, setting the books down.

“I’m going to Childe’s place,” she said. “He’s been out of school recovering so I’m going over to help catch him up.”

Aether stared at her. Lumine braced herself for another lecture about her involvement with Childe.

But then he stepped forward, picking up half the stack of books.

“I’m coming too,” he said simply, walking out the door.

Lumine was confused, speechless.

What was he doing?

* * *

“Are you sure this is his house, Lumi?” Aether asked.

Lumine looked down at the piece of paper with Childe’s address written on it. “That’s what he wrote here.”

Before them stood a grand estate, something Lumine and Aether had only seen in movies—a great stone mansion decorated with lush topiary gardens, glistening fountains, and delicately stoned pathways, all guarded with tall, iron fencing and a large gate currently blocking them.

“How...How do we get in?” Lumine wondered.

Suddenly a black box attached to a nearby stone pillar buzzed to life.

“Please state your business,” a voice crackled from the box.

Lumine approached the box carefully. “I am, uhm, a classmate of Childe’s,” she answered. “I’m here to help him study?”

There was a long pause. Then the gate buzzed as well, and slowly started opening.

“Master Childe will greet you at the front door,” the voice informed.

Lumine and Aether exchanged confused looks.

Master Childe?

The twins made their way up the long stone driveway, finally reaching the grand double doors. Lumine awkwardly knocked.

After a moment, the doors swung open, and Childe stood there, an equally confused expression on his face. “You...You actually came?”

Lumine blinked. “...Was I not supposed to?”

“Well, I never expected you to actually come here.” Childe let out a tiny chuckle, laced with disbelief. “But here you are.” He looked at Aether. “With the Vice Pres too.”

“Of course,” Lumine responded, indignant. “Studying is serious business.”

“Is this...actually your house?” Aether asked.

“Yes, yes, don’t worry: I didn’t steal some random house for a joke.” He gestured behind him. “Come on in.”

The two blondes made their way through the doorway, and both of their mouths fell open at the sight of the interior, which was just as grand as they suspected: tall, vaulted ceilings, polished marble flooring, huge windows that bathed the walls with bright light. A glass chandelier dangled above, and a wide, grandiose staircase sat before them.

Before the two could soak it all in, there was a mad pattering of footsteps coming from the stairs, and three tiny heads bobbed into view at the top—three children who looked like Childe: all varying degrees of adorable orange hair, blue eyes, and freckles.

“Ah, Anthon, Tonia, Teucer!” he called to them. The children in question, shyly ducked out of sight. Childe sighed, crossing his arms. “Now, now, remember? You must always kindly greet guests, right?”

There was a burst of giggles, before the children came clambering down the stairs, standing before Lumine and Aether.

“This is Lumine, and this is her twin brother Aether,” Childe introduced. “Say, ‘hi.’”

“Hi, Lumine and Aether,” the children sang in unison.

The little girl, Tonia, smiled at Lumine. “You look like a princess!”

The smaller boy—Teucer—stepped forward, loudly whispering, “Are you brother’s girlfriend?”

The other boy, Anthon, grimaced. “Ew! Girlfriend?!”

“We are your brother’s friends,” Aether interjected, while Lumine tried not to choke on the air.

“Okay, good job greeting them!” Childe said just as quickly. He started ushering them up the stairs. “Go on and play; we have to work!”

The children disappeared in their burst of giggles yet again.

“You look after them all yourself?” Aether asked.

Childe nodded, his eyes still looking up the stairs. “Whenever my parents are away on business. Which is frequently.”

“You can’t just...hire a nanny?” Aether said, glancing around at their luxurious surroundings.

“That would be the easy way,” Childe answered. “I care about them too much to let someone else look after them.” His blue eyes flickered to Aether. “You get that, don’t you?”

Aether didn’t answer, and Lumine glanced between the two nervously.

“I know I’ll have to let them go when they get older,” Childe continued. “But they’re good kids. They’ll make the right choices.”

Aether silently regarded Childe, and Lumine could tell he was thinking about something, deeply.

“Ah, well, let’s get to studying...shall we?” Lumine suggested, trying to break the tension.

“Pres, do you think of anything else besides studying?” Childe teased.

“Psh, of course.” Lumine narrowed her eyes at the troublemaker. “I think that you need to think of studying more. I’ve seen your grades.”

The ginger smirked. “Hmm, stalking me, are we?” He started walking down one of the lengthy hallways. “Since you care so much about me and my grades, I guess I’ll study for you.”

Lumine stomped after him. “I-It’s my job to care about the wellbeing of my students as the President!” She turned to her twin. “Right, Aether?”

Aether was still silently looking at Childe. Childe stopped walking as well, turning and meeting Aether’s stare.

Aether then made his way to Childe, putting the stack of books into his arms, never breaking their eye contact. “I actually have other things I have to take care of today.” He stepped back. “I’m sure you two are more than capable of studying without me.”

Childe accepted the books into his arms. “Of course. I think your sister is very capable on her own.”

“She is,” Aether echoed.

Lumine furrowed her brows. What were they talking about?

Aether made his way back towards the front door. “Well...I’ll see you later at home, Lumi.” He smiled—it was genuine, happy, but with just an edge of sadness to it. “Good luck. Have fun, sis.”

After her brother walked out the door, Lumine turned to Childe. “Uhm, sorry about that. I don’t know why Aether was acting so weird.”

“How weird indeed,” Childe repeated, though he gave her a knowing smile.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “What’s with that smile?”

“Nothing. Can’t I just be happy that my President cares about me so much that she’d give up her weekend to help me study?”

Lumine turned her nose up. “I told you: it’s my job.”

“Oh? So you do this for every student who misses school?”

“Maybe I should just follow Aether home.”

“I’m just teasing, Pres.” He leaned in a tiny bit. “Thank you for coming here today.”

“You’re welcome,” she responded softly.

Over the next few hours, the two poured over their textbooks and classwork, Lumine essentially tutoring Childe, and keeping him on track (which was very hard considering all he wanted to do was work on Lumine’s training instead). It was also very endearing to watch as he juggled studying with looking after his siblings, and Lumine found herself indeed having fun as Aether had wished earlier.

When she returned home that night, Aether was studying at his desk, and she tried to quietly slip past his room as to not disturb him.

“Lumi? Is that you?” he called.

Lumine popped her head into his room. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to distract you.”

“No, I’m glad you did.” He paused, then looked Lumine in the eye. “You were right. Childe...He isn’t a bad guy.” A small smile. “I’m...I’m glad you met him.”

Lumine blinked, confused for a moment. Then, she smiled back.

“I’m glad I met him too.”

* * *

[part 8]

#genshin impact #genshin childe #genshin lumine #chilumi #fanfiction #fanfic #me

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rimechaser · 3 years

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Genshin Characters as Bo Burnham quotes

Albedo - Once a week I like to slip into a deep, existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

Amber - I cried for at least an hour after watching Toy Story Three.

Barbara - In the name of the father, son, and Holy Ghost, heads, shoulders knees and toes, turn up your nose, strike that pose, HEY MACARENA.

Beidou - Booty so big, call it Oprah’s Ego.

Bennett - Yeah, ‘whoo’ that sadness out.

Childe - He saw a unicorn with five horns right in front of him. And the pentacorn spoke thus: “Hello, I’ve been looking for you for quite a long-” 24 gunshots

Chongyun - Haters gonna hate, lovers gonna love. You need to reject both sides of the spectrum and leave a healthy middle.

Diluc - “I want you to somehow survive a terrible car crash and somehow not survive a small fender bender on the way back from the hospital.” Thank you, that was called ‘[Fatui]’.

Diona - This is a message to all my bitch-ass haters, I-I’m really sensitive so just please stop.

Eula - I wrote this when I was fourteen and my mother said that if I ever played it again, she’d kick me out of the house. But guess who’s not here!

Fischl - I will now recede back into my stage persona. Ugh, I just blacked out for twenty seconds.

Ganyu - I want to please you, but I want to stay true to myself.

Hu Tao - The world isn’t sad, it’s funny! I’m a sociopath.

Jean - There’s so much pain beyond this steeple, wars and drugs and homeless people, sadness where there should be joy, hate and rape and Soulja Boy.

Kaeya - If you like drinkin’ booze, let me hear you say HELL YEAH!

Keqing - No one entertains the thought that maybe god does not believe in you.

Klee - Flamin’ Hot Cheetos: They’re like regular Cheetos but they’re flamin’ hot! Normal Cheetos are for pussies, but Flamin’ Cheetos are not!

Lisa - Holy fuck, I think she might be the one. There’s something about her, I just can’t describe it. Tits.

Mona - Pick a card, any card. PSYCH

Ningguang - Why don’t you use some of your money to help rebuild the neighborhood instead of putting spinning rims on a gold jet ski?

Noelle - If you hated it, that’s fair. But either way could you find a little more time for a parting questionnaire?

Qiqi - I saw a woman at her daughter’s funeral. Ha ha ha. Classic comedy.

Razor - Roses are gray. Violets are different shade of gray. Let’s go chase cars.

Rosaria - Eat a thousand crackers, sing a million hymns, none of you are going to heaven, you're not my children, you're a bad game of Sims

Sucrose - I know we never talked or hung out ever, but I think that’s what made our friendship so special.

Venti - My father recently told me that I act too flamboyant on stage and I said “Really dad? PROVE IT!”

Xiangling - The world is not happy. Guy Fieri owns two functioning restaurants.

Xiao - Tomorrow comes and it’s still today. Tomorrow’s a relative term, we’re not getting there. It makes Annie more depressing.

Xingqiu - Is there anything better than pussy? Yes, A really good book.

Xinyan - This first song is called ‘A world on fire’. Aaaah! Aaaaaah! Aaaaaah!

Yanfei - Nothing tastes better than not being sued.

Zhongli - Just to be clear, I wrote, conceived, and executed the entirety of that bit. Do not give those dumb fucks any credit.

~~~

Baizhu - Let us go then, you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky like a patient etherized upon a table.

Brooke - I was eating veal that was wrapped in PETA bread.

Dainsleif - You don’t know where I’m going, don’t act like it. You are not ahead of me. I will retain the element of surprise. BLEGH!

Dvalin - It’s hard to be a lizard.

Katheryne - So I was interrupted the other day while I- Mother fuck-

The Lawrence clan - We used to have all the money and land and we still do but it’s not as fun now.

Reckless Pallad - He didn’t hear me shout “Look out for the train” because I didn’t say anything.

Scaramouche - Why is it that when a woman wears revealing clothing, they’re labeled a slut, yet if I were to wear her skin as a jacket, I’m a murderer?

Signora - She had a weird fetish. She’d dress up and act like a bitch.

Timmie - Why is there a young boy living alone down the lane? Who signed this boy’s lease? Am I the only one concerned for this little boy?

Tsaritsa - I’m hurting inside and I’m trying to hide it, so eat a dick, man.

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megucarecord · 3 years

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Rating Genshin Impact Character Designs (Pt. 1)

Hey y’all! I’ve been thinking of doing this for a really long time and I decided to finally stop being lazy and do it. So this is going to be a review of all the playable characters in Genshin Impact from a design perspective. I don’t really have any prerequisites to make this list worth anything (unless you count one year of a fashion/sewing class in high school lol) but hey idk, seems fun?

Gonna be super long (10 characters) so putting everything under the cut.

Disclaimer: I don’t actually hate any of these designs, nor do I consider my opinions “fixing” them, this is just for fun.

Character: Lumine

I have a lot of conflicting feelings about this design. The hair and basic build are fine, very generic but that’s unsurprising for any character that is working at least partially as a pseudo self-insert. The color scheme is also very bland - and is one of the reasons I originally thought that Aether was automatically Geo traveler and Lumine was Anemo traveler. I think that adding more colors would’ve been a good thing, but also would’ve required a revamp of the dress itself, so maybe not the most practical thing, even if I think the dress is a bit too busy. The biggest changes I would make would be to get rid of the fancy part of her stockings as well as the extra flow/ruffled back of the skirt, which is just a bit too much considering the top layer of the skirt is already quite detailed (in a very nice way) and that could’ve just been extended. I also have to admit that though the scarf is very impractical and showy, but it reminds me of a costume from a series I like so I actually like it a lot, although you could definitely term it unnecessary.

Rating: 7/10

Character: Aether

Okay ngl this character design kinda slaps. Firstly, I love that Aether has long hair, it’s a good contrast to Lumine’s cut (and contrast should be super important with characters that are siblings/parallels of one another) and idk long braids are kinda cool. I love that the outfit has distinctive colors, which give the character personality and keeps him from being washed out. The design is much more streamlined than Lumine’s, and although I’m not a huge fan of midrifts (a theme in this post I’m sorry) there’s not actually much I’d change in this design. Except maybe make the cape a scarf to better match with Lumine. This is definitely the superior design in terms of the siblings in my opinion and I think the lack of intricacy fits the image of “traveler” better. It’s not my favorite and there isn’t anything that really stands out in the design, but it’s really solid and I like it.

Rating: 9/10

Character: Albedo

This design has a lot of potential, but I think in the end it’s just a bit too busy (which will be a theme in this game haha). I like the hair - in general I’m glad Genshin isn’t scared to try a bunch of different lengths and styles on guys because if not everything would become painfully boring. I also like the clothes for the most part. The boots are especially sleek, and I like that despite being a Geo character they gave Albedo a bluer, darker color scheme. I think it fits with his mysterious sort of quietly menacing vibe (this man is Frankensteining something I know it). But it really starts to get a bit too much with the coat. I think he needed a coat, again it fits the character, he’s in the middle of a frozen tundra and he’s also a magic scientist man, he needs some sort of coat. But I think the chain and the strap across the front is a bit too much. If I were the designers I would’ve continued with a sleeker theme, make the sleeves longer, the gloves shorter, if you wanted some ornamentation maybe a pack of vials on his belt. Overall very good design, greater color scheme, too busy. Also can we appreciate his banner art? It’s so good I love it.

Rating: 8/10

Character: Amber

Okay first I’m gonna say her card art is super cute. Love the pose, love the style. All gut. Now let me say that this outfit had potential but then it sorta... fell flat. I like the color scheme for the most part, except the white cause idk white is boring and in the game it looks kinda latexy, but I understand wanting three colors and black might be too close to brown. That being said, I hate stockings. Stockings are just the worst, they’re impractical, hard to put on, uncomfortable, should only be worn with dresses. No knight of Favonius needs stockings. Might I suggest pants or shorts? Or like cool pseudo armor plates like with Lumine. Also though I do like the jacket and the leather stomacher design, I think a bomber jacket might suit the character better, because idk they’re cool and they make me think of Amelia Earheart, although that’s such a culturally distinct thing I can’t blame them for not thinking that way. Again the jacket is still very cool, love the stomacher, and love the cuffs.. The belt is lovely and like I said love the embossed designs, but ultimately this design is too impractical, and too bland to get away with being impratical for me. So... yeah.

Rating: 5/10

Character: Barbara

Barbara! Our fav crazy nun. First I’m gonna thank her for having an attack of pure magic then I’m gonna say I hate the color white apparently because I also didn’t like it here. I’m pretty sure she’s supposed to be a novice (could be wrong), so I’d flip the colors, have the accents be white and the main color navy. But idk that’s just me. Overall I quite like her design. It’s a pretty good balance between simple and detailed. I don’t even hate the stockings. I’d say the least good part is the top, the bow and the weird collar is just... ehh? but I don’t think getting rid of the collar would help though. I’d say ditch the bow, make the dress connect to the collar, keep the off the shoulders cold sleeves. I really like the ruffled part of the top skirt. Idk it’s the best part of the design. The hat makes her look like a nurse not a nun though. maybe make the hair ties for the ponytails little veils, might fit better. Overall mostly nitpicks, it’s a strong design.

Rating: 8/10

Character: Beidou

Firstly I’d like to apologize to the Beidou I pulled before never using her (forgive me ily); next I’d like to admit I don’t love her design. I haven’t really harped on the lack of armor on these characters - because I’m not sure how I’d integrate armor into all them without making them bland af, no one wants people running around in full plate armor how tf you supposed to climb in that - but I still wouldn’t’ve put her in a leotard and boots only when she’s a canonical fighter, without even the armor accents on most of the other character. I know that traditional qipao would probably be terrible to fight in, so I’m not going to complain about them slitting it - I actually quite like it I think it’s cool and sleek and fits her vibe - but I will complain about them putting her in a leotard underneath. As someone who dances I can assure you no one in their right mind would want to fight in a leotard, which yes I know isn’t the point and I can’t blame them for not thinking that way. Anyways, I think leggings/stockings and tall boots are quite cool so that’s prolly what I’d do, streamlines the whole design too, gives it a sense of connectivity (idk I’m weird and I don’t look at this character often so yeah). I like the top of her design, although I’d prolly replace the fur on the cap with a large collar, sort of pirate-y or Navy-like. Also let me just say I love the hair and eye patch. Fits her reckless sort of character to hate her hair whipping around, and the eyepatch really sells the concept of her having fought for years. The hand guards didn’t need to be flared, but I don’t mind them being there. Especially since handling a Claymore would definitely rip up your hands if you didn’t have protection. Also the boots though impractical are very cool so... yeah.

Rating: 6/10

Character: Bennett

One of my main team and prolly the closest thing I currently have to a DPS I have conflicting opinions on Bennett’s design. I think it’s a pretty good design all things considered. His belt and all his packs would be busy if you didn’t know Bennett’s character, but considering he’s a wanna be adventurer, I think it works pretty well. Although I don’t know why his extra belt straps are so long... or even exist?? Idk kinda weird. His top is... ehh? I don’t really like it, I think partially because I don’t think Bennett would wear a midrift shirt like this (midrifts where there shouldn’t be midrifts or, as I like to call it, being MagiReco-d) and partially cause the color, though understandable in such a busy design, is kinda bland. I think that’s why the collar works instead of being too busy, we needed some color. If I had to changed the design I’d get rid of the midrift and get rid of those weird extra belt things. Also that one random dagger star thing on one side of his blue collar is just so weird and random and like why does it exist? But overall I like the design, and it doesn’t bug me when I’m playing with him. I think it’s a good example of how busyness can accurately portray a character. Well done.

Rating: 8/10

Character: Chongyun

Another character who I own but have never played, though my friend has him on their main team and they look super cool. I’m not gonna lie I love this character’s design. Firstly the color palette is so good, the white feels like it works to offset all the blue hues - which I love that even the darkest parts of his design are blue not black - so it doesn’t feel bland or irritating, especially with the gold giving it a sense of luxury. I also like the choice to have a tunic that extends to the pants, I think having only white pants would be too bland - again white it a meh color for designs - so it really gives it some necessary details and color. I also like the jacket, again it gives the design a sense of detail while being simple enough not to feel like too much. Also I have no idea what the outfit would look like without the jacket and I have a feeling that answer would be Not Good, so... yeah. Some nitpicks; the left arm band thingie golden cuff is kinda too much and seems impractical and irritating. And... that’s it. I know the slippers are impractical, but I think they work, he is an exorcist not an adventurer after all. Overall, probably second favorite design in the game. Great job

Rating: 10/10

Character: Diluc

Give Diluc a high ponytail, I’m begging you. Lol anyways personal preference aside (which is impossible this entire post is personal preference) I like this design. I think the color works and the whole outfit is a good reflection of Diluc’s character, closed off, luxurious while also a bit ragged and uncontrollable. Yeah. I like it. I do think the thing chain accessory is kinda random, and I don’t think there’s anything about the design that knocks me off my feet, but I do really love the design overall. Also the gloves, good gloves. Suggestions? High ponytailed Diluc. Nothing else. Also though he’s not in this post I like that this outfit is very streamlined and simple compared to Kaeya, it’s a good portrayal of their differing views and opinions through fashion. Because unlike with the traveller siblings I think these brothers have a dynamic where contrast is better than parallel.

Rating: 9/10

Character: Diona

Okay so though I’ve never interacted with this character I skimmed the wiki and I love her backstory it’s hilarious. Also since I never interact with her I don’t have many opinions about her design except why does she only have one sock on? Honestly relatable moments. I think the extra ponytail is kinda weird and excessive considering the hat and I’d prolly make the hair orange to match the ears but overall very cute design. What do bartenders look like? Idk. Oh and also there are a bit too many colors roaming around, but I get it. Overall fairly generic but kinda cute. I still think midrifts are bad.

Rating: 7/10

And that’s it! I hope this didn’t come off as “lol these designs are gross and I’m superior and we should fix them” because no. No one should take any of these suggestions seriously. Except maybe the ponytail one lol. Anyways I hope at least one person likes this cause this took forever and I kinda burned out after a while. Next post if I make it will be interesting cause it includes my least favorite design. May you all have lovely playing and if you love a design I don’t honestly more power to you. Bye!!

#idk this is so random #plz don't hate me #genshin impact #not magia record #long post #mine

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elejah-wonderland · 4 years

Text

I found Love/Fanfiction

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Fanfiction

Elijah Mikaelson x OC (Elle Alexander)

TVD/TO AU one shot

a/n: This is a one shot - fanfiction challenge as a celebration of @xxwritemeastoryxx 1k followers celebration

The prompt was the song ‘ I found’ by Amber Run

Thank you so much for tagging me for this fanfic challenge @xxwritemeastoryxx. It means a lot. (*ˊᗜˋ*)/ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏ ᵞᵒᵘ*

Thank you for reading - I hope you will like it. xoxo

Premise: Elijah Mikaelson is a recluse, living in New York after a witch killed all of his siblings and cursed him, taking away some of his powers.

🦋💕

"Time", Elijah Mikaelson thought as he closed his eyes listening to the nature around him. His thoughts flew back to his family, friends, lovers, times long gone. And he was still there cursed to live and remember.

"Nature has its way of making things right" another thought wondered in, something his mother once said when he was a child.

***

New York

Elle Alexander sat down on the terrace of her stepfather's mansion trying to process the message she had received some time ago. Life was everything but peachy.

"You will make a deal with the vampire?" Jake said as he approached the terrace.

Taking a sip of her coffee, the brunette replied, "Yes."

Her on and off boyfriend Jake hated when she would act secretive, completely excluding him. But that was her nature. Even though she had a big heart, at times her behaviour puzzled him, as well as her mother and her friends.

"What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you'd be all wrapped up in Lola?"

"Elle, please - it was - just a hook up. Meant nothing."

"It meant nothing?! Right." Elle stood up, nodding a little.

"Don't act like you actually are hurt now and you care! You are all wrapped up in that ancient vampire"

The doppelganger sighed. It was true. Since the day she met Elijah Mikaelson, her whole life, her feelings got jumbled up.

Flashback

A few months back

Nina knocked on the door of a house at the edge of town. She waited and as no one answered she knocked again. Suddenly, like a ghost, a man appeared standing right behind her asking, "What is it that you need?"

The woman turned around and the Original's heart jumped up astonished as she said, "Elijah Mikaelson?"

"Elena" he slipped.

"No, Elle. Elle Alexander" the woman said.

Elijah stood still with no reaction feeling like his mind was playing tricks on him. All his senses were going wild, the sound of the voice, the smell, alarmed all of his senses, making him burn up with a strange kind of joy.

"Elle?" he now said making a gesture with a hand,"Please, come in."

Elle walked into the house and the vampire followed.

Entering a very quaint, but formidable family house, she could not but feel it being completely the opposite of what she would expect from an ancient vampire. The both entered a living room.

Elijah tried to silent his heart, but somehow it was not an easy task. Never in his wildest dreams could he have imagined seeing another doppelganger again. The line was ended with Elena Gilbert, as she had died together with her husband Damon in a car accident, leaving no children behind. How was a doppelganger now standing in his house, so far from the world? Had he now completely lost his mind, he wondered.

"How do you know of - us?" Elijah now asked.

Elle now turned around to face him, replying, "A Grimoire."

"Ah, what witch?" Elijah wanted to know.

"Bonnie Bennett" Elle replied.

Elijah's heart now quivered with more astonishment. The coincidence of her being in possession of a Grimoire of that particular witch was astounding.

It didn't not escape the doppelganger's eyes and she now said-

"Was she a good or evil witch?"

"She was powerful." Elijah replied.

"Really?"

"Yes. What do you know of good and evil witches? And how does this Grimoire survive?" the vampire asked.

"I know all about the witches. And the day of reckoning. And the balance. The trinity blood- all the vampires dying, except for one, that became cursed and crippled." Nina now looked at the Original and added, "I am sorry if I am - I guess you don't know about the new sire lines."

"New sire- lines? Elijah said.

"Yes. When I was twelve, a woman came to our house, pretending to be a nurse and took my blood. Of course, I didn't know then that it was a witch, who took the blood to start a new sire line of vampires. Then, I didn't know that I have something that is called mystic blood and that I am a doppelganger. That I found out a year after when my mom and I moved to New York, and I made friends with Coco Bennett, whose dad was a witch. But he never practiced. Coco also didn't know anything much until one day we went up the attic and found this Grimoire. And there were all these different spells and a part that looked like a strange diary, with a lot of pictures of people, and me- well, Elena, that's what it said. The name you mentioned- there were a few other books about the day of reckoning." Nina explained.

"Elena Gilbert" Elijah now said with a nostalgic import in his voice.

"It said you knew all the doppelgangers" Elle said.

"I did. Well, except for one. She lived in the ancient times, before I was born."

"It's like so crazy. I am still processing that I am one- and it's been so ten damned years."

"Processing" Elijah repeated and it took him straight back to the conversation he and Elena had a long time ago.

"Yeah- I really didn't care about it. Neither did Coco, but then, two years ago, a friend of mine was turned and she was killed by my boy-friend, a werewolf, and Coco had to restrain him. Things got worse, because the vampires started to multiply like pest, and the werewolves packs started killing them, and it turned into full gang war. Coco found other witches to try and stop them, but we need to make a hunter, and we know it could be done. And we tried, but something was missing. My blood was not enough. One ingredient was missing. Blood of an Original witch."

Now it was clear to Elijah why the doppelganger was there.

"You want to make a vampire hunter?!" Elijah asked.

"Yes. And we looked hard to find the ingredient- and - it led to you." Elle said.

"Hm" Elijah muttered. It one point or the other there was this something that had brought her to him. "How did you find me?"

"You are made from the mystic blood- and Coco did a spell- but I saw you in my dreams- long before I read about - you- and your family-" Elle replied and added,"You know the dreams where future and past come together."

"I know." Elijah said in a low voice.

And there was silence for a moment. Elijah seemed to have yet again slipped somewhere like into a ghost- like dream. Elle looked at him as if she also had transcended in one of her dreams. The meeting was bizarre enough, but now she felt like it moved into something that was like an out of body experience. So many times she had woken up and it felt like the dreams would linger with her even when she was wide awake. She now looked at his eyes that were blinded by magic, and they were like dark clouds had descended upon them.

"Maybe Coco can do away with the magic that has made you blind. I can't promise anything." the doppelganger said.

He had known all the doppelgangers being straight forward and bold with him, but Elle exhibited such familiarity that he could not completely grasp. And once again he thought that this was some kind of magical ploy, but the witches who made him into the shadow of a vampire he once was.

"What?" Elle uttered.

"For me to agree to whatever you need, you have a witch up your sleeve."

"Nothing comes free in this life" Elle said. "Trust me, I know it so very well. I have never seen anyone do anything out of the goodness of their heart. There is always something. Name your price"

"I will do it." Elijah suddenly said, "I just want one thing in return."

"Name it" Elle said.

"I want your witch to kill me."

Elle looked at the vampire surprised at the request, but then she said, "It's a deal."

"It's a deal." Elijah muttered.

Nina got up from where she was sitting and giving him one more look said, "I will see you tomorrow."

The doppelganger walked out of the house.

Elijah moved to the window and even though he could not see her walking away, he listened to her footsteps as long as they could be heard. He revoked the sweet heartbeats that played like a song.

She put the phone in her jacket with her mind echoing the intense moment they had last night. All the other doppelgangers felt a profound connection to him. Was it the mystic blood that bound them? Or was it something utterly cosmic? She, who has never been stirred by anything in her life, now was puzzled. Though she tried hard to shake him, she knew already that he already got deep under her skin.

With a slilent sigh, she got up and walked into the house. And there he was appearing in front of her like a ghost. Elle jumped a little, taking a step back.

“Did I startle you? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you - I was just -” Elijah said gesturing to the desk by the window, ”I thought I had left my phone here”

“There is nothing on the table” Elle replied, biting a gulp back. A strange feeling of nervousness took over her and though her mind was telling her to turn around and leave, she stood there, like she was frozen in the moment.

“What is it? You’re trembling? Is everything ok?” Elijah said, sensing the weariness exuding from the doppelganger.

The doppelganger looked at the Original silent, biting a gulp back as she battled with her heart and the feelings now crackling in her blood. And then she closed the gap between them, puttomg both of her hands on his cheeks. With feather light touches she slowly brushed over his facial features whispering, "I know that you are hurting -but- I can’t let you go - I can’t let you die- Elijah - this is all crazy I know - I agreed - we had a deal - but I’m breaking this deal"

l use you as a warning sign That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind And I'll use you as a focal point So I don't lose sight of what I want And I've moved further than I thought I could But I missed you more than I thought I would And I'll use you as a warning sign That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind

Elijah now put his index finger on her mouth to stop her from talking further, even though he would gladly listen to her forever. His fingers now played all over her face. Whatever nature had in mind by bringing the doppelganger to him yet again, his heart now could not stop but flutter again as her scent, her trembling, her touch, her nearness, her pounding heart jumping up with joy.

Lips on lips blossomed like a stream of thunder, wedging the fire that resonated all inside of them.

And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be Right in front of me Talk some sense to me

Easing out of the kiss, Elijah now smiled, whispering dearly, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m here to stay.Always and Forever”

#elijah mikaelson #fanfiction #tvd fanfiction #celebration #oc #fanfiction with oc #the originals fanfiction #alternative universe #doms1kchallenge

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flowersbound · 6 years

Text

Sinnerman: Part 1

Don’t you see me prayin’?

But the Lord said, “Go to the devil”

He had been waiting at the bar for what seemed like hours. He had come to Los Angeles to speak with his old friend. He thought it too much on the nose for the King of Hell, to make his home in the city of angels. Angels and demons existed and it was a well-hidden secret that he took delight in keeping from the rest of the world aside from his siblings. It did no good to tell the world, especially the supernatural world, that there were beings more powerful than he. There was only one other supernatural he ever knew that knew about angels and demons and that was a Sarah Bennett. She never shared how she knew about them.

However, his goal here tonight was not to be made to feel insignificant but to make a deal with another king to save the life of his daughter. That hollow was coming to devour his daughter’s soul and he needed a way to defeat her. Hayley had done her job by waking him and his siblings up and saving their lives. And Marcel well that was not something he would discuss.

Then the lights dimmed and a piano began to play. Then Lucifer was there and singing.

“Baby you understand me now

If sometimes you see that I’m mad

Doncha know no one alive can always be an angel?

But I’m just a soul whose intentions are good

Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood

Then a bright light appeared on the stage and a woman’s body appeared. The entire audience in Lux turned their bodies toward the stage. The band on the stage took up the harmony and then she began to sing. Then as the woman bathed in light sang, his mind swirled with memories.

Ya know sometimes baby I’m so carefree

With a joy that’s hard to hide

And then sometimes again it seems that all I have is worry

And then you’re bound to see my other side

But I’m just a soul whose intentions are good.

Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood.

Then the light faded and he was able to see her. Her hair was a light brown with coppery highlights that glinted like fire as she swayed to the music. Her amber skin glowed against the black silk dress that fell down her body like black waves of a midnight ocean and ended in crests of white. Then she opened her eyes and he knew they were green cat’s eyes with flicks of gold. He knew this girl. He knew this Bennett Witch. Her name was Bonnie. And she was supposed to be dead.

If I seem edgy

I want you to know

I never mean to take it out on you

Life has its problems

And I get more than my share

But that’s one thing I never mean to do

Cause I love you

Oh baby

I’m just human

Don’t you know I have faults like anyone?

Sometimes I find myself alone regretting

Some little foolish thing

Some simple thing that I’ve done

I’m just a soul whose intentions are good

Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood

Don’t let me be misunderstood

I try so hard

So please don’t let me be misunderstood

The music faded as she faded back into darkness. Lux erupted in applause and wolf whistles. Then Lucifer stood with the mic and said, “Thank you, everyone. If I can ask the songstress back on stage?” And then again there she was bathed in light, sparkling like a gem.

“Everyone, I would like to present to you, Bonnie.” He walked to the stage and held out his hand to her. She took it and stepped into his arms. “She is my greatest treasure and I am extremely proud of her.” He looked down at her with eyes filled with love. “I love you sweetheart.” Then he kissed her forehead. Then she whispered into the mic for all to hear. “I love you too, Daddy.” Then he recognized the emotion that swirled in the devil’s eyes because he had felt it whenever he looked at his daughter.

The audience awed and clapped at the private moment between father and daughter but neither one to worry about the others because it was just a father and his little girl. They separated when a dark-skinned man walked up to her and bear hugged her. He heard over the clapping. “I am so proud of you baby girl.” And she replied, “Thank you, uncle Amenadiel.” Then at that moment, the crowd’s attention was diverted back to the stage where a DJ began his mix.

The crowd parted like the ocean for the three of them as they walked towards the bar. A spark of recognition filtered through Lucifer’s eyes when he spotted him but Bonnie merely passed him over as her head turned from side to side. He whispered something to Bonnie and she nodded. Then she was escorted to the other side of the bar by her uncle and up the ladder never once looking back at him. He felt himself frown as she had failed to recognize him.

Then he was in front of him smiling a smile that was sharp and promised to cut him to shreds. He caught him staring at his daughter.

“Klaus Mikaelson,” he said. “Lucifer Morningstar,” Klaus replied back. Neither one seemed inclined to stop their standoff.

“What brings you here, old friend?” Lucifer finally said.

“I heard you were on earth again and I felt it was due time to reconnect with you.” Klaus said. It would not do to ask for a favor so soon. Lucifer widen his smile and nodded. “Yes, it was the 1500s correct?”

“Yes, it was.”

“Well it seems you are doing well,” he paused. “And it seems you managed to break your curse, so Katerina proved helpful?”

“Eventually,” he growled out with a bit of anger. Katerina’s deception still rankled him from time to time but she was dead and in hell where she was supposed to be.

“Oh don’t be like that old friend. I told your brother that the doppelganger was there and that she would prove to be helpful. I never said when she would be,” He said laughingly. “That is true,” Klaus conceded. Elijah had made the deal for the information and all of the three of them paid the price.

Lucifer laughed and then said, “Come old friend let’s go up to my penthouse to catch up.” The words were friendly enough but the darkness clung to the syllables with claws that promised to rake him bloody. Klaus had never shied away from a challenge so he followed the devil up to his castle in the sky.

They rode in silence with no music but the faint sounds of piano strings tinkling. As they got closer, the voice that accompanied that music became strong like a siren’s song. She had always been beautiful to him but she was firm in her conviction to oppose him at every term. She had been the first one to put him in a coffin and he hated her for that because it had given hope to his enemies. That spark of hope had bloomed into a raging forest fire that eventually put him into a coffin for years.

As soon as the doors opened he saw her back. She had taken off the dress and exchanged it for a tank top and shorts. Lucifer clapped his hands and she stopped and turned to them with a brilliant smile. He had never known her to smile. He was sure she did but the only face he ever saw was one full of anger and hatred. He found that she had a lightness to her as she smiled. It reminded him of Caroline and he could see the two girls laughing in the sunlight together without a care in the world.

The last time he had seen Caroline, the sunlight had dimmed considerably. The last time he had heard from the witch was when he had called her to consult about the fate of the supernatural purgatory. She never said anything but he read between the lines. She would not survive. He blurted out, “Does Caroline know you are alive, Love?”

Father and daughter looked at him then. “I’m sorry, do I know you,” she asked squinting her eyes as if to get a better look at him. Lucifer’s eyes burned with blood and gold behind her. His daughter only seemed confused. He took the warning.

“No, I am sorry. You look like someone I once knew.” He said meekly. Bonnie looked back at her father but he had reigned in darkness but the hard stare was still there as he gazed at him. Then she smiled again and lift her hand. “Bonnie Morgenstern and you are?”

He gripped her hand and turned it over to kiss it. Her hands wiggled as he stared deeply into her eyes. He was willing her to remember him but she only smiled shyly as a shiver of heat ran up her spine.

Lucifer cleared his throat. “Sweetheart you do not want to be late.” She snatched her hand from him and turned to her father. “Yeah let me get my purse.” And she walked away from him for the second time without a glance backward.

Lucifer stepped into his line of vision and his face was lined with shadows from the moonlight and candles placed along the penthouse. Klaus smiled to ease the tension but the King of Hell was not amused. Then she walked back, the moonlight following her steps. She rose on her feet and kissed the devil on the cheek. “I’ll call to let you know if I need help.” He only nodded but never took his burning gaze from him.

Then she looked at him and smiled again. “It was a pleasure to meet you….”

“Klaus Mikaelson.” He said smiling at her. She shook his hand once more and walked around him to the elevator. He turned his body around and she glanced back at him shyly. When she was settled in the metal box she turned but could not meet his gaze. He watched her hungrily till the doors closed and beyond.

The clinking of crystal against crystal caused him to move his head to the side and he watched Lucifer approach with two glasses of scotch. He extended one glass to him. “Just so you know, Niklaus, it would not be wise to steal from the devil.”

“The last time I spoke to her, she was on the verge of death,” he said accepting the glass and brushing off the threat.

“So, you knew my little bird in her previous life,” Lucifer said leading him to the sunken living room in a pool of moonlight and shadows. “A sad little life it was,” Klaus said. Lucifer paused then continued to walk. “Yes, unfortunately, it was.” Lucifer lounged on the sofa like a cat but his eyes watched his every move like a wolf.

“Does she know what kind of a monster you are?” The fallen king asked the fallen angel.

“Does your daughter know about you?” He asked and then took a sip of the drink. Surprise filled him but he quickly smacked it down and replaced it with anger.

“I am sure others have told her about me.” It ate at his insides to not have been able to be there. To not be able to show her that even though he was a monster, he was one for her sake.

“Daughters pretend to be blind to their fathers,” Lucifer said in a still voice that meant to sooth the offense. “But they see us.” Klaus finished for him. The King of Hell nodded to him.

“So, I assume you are here to ask for a favor,” he asked after a moment of silence. “Yes, I need something powerful to defeat a rather aggravating foe that wants to harm my daughter.”

“I can send Maze to help as soon as she is available,” Lucifer said. “And I assume you would want payment for your assistance,” Klaus stated.

“My daughter is not for you,” he said. Klaus did not need him to elaborate. A soul was usually the payment for a deal with the devil and if he satiated his curiosity, he would lose the little bit he had left and there was no supernatural purgatory to stop him from reaping his soul. He was the villain and he was selfish. He would leave the princess in her tower with the red dragon.

He finished his drink and made his way out of the penthouse.

Three days later, Marcel came in to tell him he had a visitor. He made his way to the garden. She was standing beneath the magnolia tree smelling the white flowers. She wore a light green dress; whose lace pattern were leaves. She was standing in a pool of sunlight.

“Maze was supposed to be the one here,” he said to the girl.

“I remembered your eyes,” she said without turning. She plucked a flower. Then she turned to him and he heard his brother gasp when he recognized the resurrected witch. “After that night in my home, I remembered their fire. I asked Maze about you but she had nothing except that she was supposed to come to help you.” She ripped petals off the white flower and watched them float down to her feet. Then she looked at him.

“If I help you, will you tell me how I know your eyes?” Her eyes glinted like emeralds in the sunlight.

He smiled at her.

She smiled at him.

All on that day

I cried, power

Power to da Lord

A/N I have wanted to share this for a while now. In case it is not clear that is Lucifer Morningstar from the tv show Lucifer.

#bonnie bennett #klaus mikaelson #klonnie #lucifer morningstar #sinnerman fic

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newagesispage · 3 years

Text

NOVEMBER 2021

The Rib Page

Many libraries are getting rid of late fees.

*****

OMG.. A trailer for season 3 of Atlanta has been released. A chill went thru me like I can’t believe. I have so been waiting for this!! Apparently seasons 3 and 4 were shot together and will surface in 2022. Donald Glover has signed a huge deal with Amazon and I will be waiting for more news on that. YEOW.

*****

A supernatural tale called The Manor looks promising. The film stars Barbara Hershey, Bruce Davison and Fran Bennett. How could it be bad?

*****

Roger Waters married Kamilah Chavis.

*****

Stay away from Faux news, except perhaps from the Onion or SNL, U know, something like that.

*****

The 36th annual Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inducted LLCool J, Carole King, Tina Turner, The Go-Go’s, Todd Rundgren, Jay-z, Foo Fighters, Billy Preston, Randy Rhoads, Kreftwerk, Gil Scott-Heron and Charley Patton. Clarence Avant received the Ahmet Ertegun award.

*****

The 74th Tony’s were a little different with less noms because of Covid. Lead actress in a play went to Mary-Louise Parker. Featured actor in a play went to David Alan Grier. Hooray!!!!!! My best dressed were Jennifer Nettles, Layren Patten, Darren Criss, Cyndi Lauper, Amber Iman, Jon Batiste, Mary-Louise Parker and Bernadette Peters.

*****

Michael Keaton will reprise Batman in the Flash.

*****

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self -check outs make prices go down? –Sally McManus

*****

I thought the new Home Sweet Home television program would be a little too sticky sweet for me but it was a swap show I found interesting. It was nice to highlight the differences in a good and open way instead of the way our society has bent recently.

*****

Alex Jones was held liable for damages in 3 defamation lawsuits by the parents of children killed at Sandy Hook. The amounts are to be determined. ** I think the only way to get these liars and fear mongers to shut up is to sue them. They love to use the court system and the only thing they really care about is money so why not hold them responsible?** I mean, one gets to the point where you do not care anymore about hurting the trusting, naïve conservative because they don’t seem to give a damn about the rest of us. The truth is out there and it is not our fault that they won’t seek it.

*****

Days alert: Why does Chloe keep putting up with Brady’s nonsense?** Oh, Marlena.. Your Devil and the costume are top notch!** Thanks, Days for the tributes to Tony and Anna and Abe. Let’s celebrate the best characters on the show some more!!!!! If Nicole falls for EJ again, I can never again look at her with a straight face. It is hard as it is after a bump in the road sends her drunkenly to Xander but it is Xander?? !! We need to see Victor and Maggie reaffirm their love!

*****

Dollar Tree say they are getting requests to have higher priced items in stores so they are testing that in some markets. Yikes!

*****

The last week of October brought 13 tornados to Chester, Il.

*****

So, everyone I know was talking about Chapelle’s The Closer. The show is funny at times but there is just so much bitchin’. I was not really glad that I saw it. Those opposing have a great point and his arrogance did grate. But, ultimately he is a comic and that is what they do, they push it. And that is why we love Netflix, because they do not censor. Turn it off if U hate it, spread the word but the dude should talk if people want to hear it. And after the whole thing, I was brought to tears with Norm Macdonald at the end. We miss U so much Norm!!

*****

There is also a lot of talk about social media which seems to put all teens thru the syndrome of being a child star. There is not much isolation and lots of rejection from the vultures. In the end, and as always, great parenting makes all the difference. There needs to be a buffer. The things that used to be said behind one’s back is right there. Behind the back was thought to be a bad thing but people got things off their chest without hurting feelings.

*****

Is this deep fake video stuff what we have always meant about the robots taking over?

*****

So, I never watch the Tonight show but Cobie Smulders and Seth Meyers were on so I gave it a go. I will never understand why people enjoy watching them play these silly little games. I see why I have stayed away. It is a shame, Fallon was quite funny on SNL but I do not understand this mimicking yes man he has become.

*****

Last Night in Soho looks great!. Ditto for this Velvet Underground biopic.

*****

Ok, I wasn’t sure at first but Double Feature is one of my favorite seasons of AHS.

*****

Why has the corporate world made it so hard to get hired? Ads pop up in the middle of online applications and actual company sires direct you to other sites that misdirect you. Some managers don’t even seem to know how people can apply at their own stores after doing away with paper apps. What?

*****

New statistics show that the 17 thousand citizens that have been killed by police is actually closer to 31 thousand.

*****

So, Cosby thinks R. Kelly got railroaded? Yea, that is about right.

*****

David Arquette bought the rights to Bozo the Clown.** Scream 5 is on the way!!

*****

One America News Network is almost entirely funded by AT&T.

*****

Thank you Mr. Mercedes for the great ass shot of Jack Huston!! Very Nice!

*****

Kal Penn is engaged to longtime partner Josh.

*****

Never forget that Joe Manchin gets $500,000 a year from Coal. Krysten Sinema gets $750,000 from Pharma.

Katey Sagal was hit by a car and is recovering.

*****

Lulu Garcia-Navarro has left NPR.

*****

Steve Bannon was held in contempt for defying a subpoena.

*****

Thank you Hollywood Reporter for putting Kieran Culkin on the cover!!!!

*****

Harry Styles will play Eros in the Marvel Universe.

*****

Columbus was a bitch. -Amber Ruffin

*****

Baz Luhrmann is bringing us “Elvis.”

*****

Levar Burton has been named the Grand Marshall of the Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena.

*****

David Lee Roth and Michael Caine have announced their retirement.

*****

Bonnie Hunt is underrated. –James Urbaniak I couldn’t agree more!

*****

Mick Jagger looked awful proud of himself at the Thirsty Beaver Saloon.

*****

In comic book news: Jonathon, son of Lois Lane and Superman is bi!!

*****

Ed Sheeran and Bryan Adams tested positive for Covid.

*****

We shouldn’t be looking for heroes, we should be looking for good ideas. –Noam Chomsky

*****

The ADM silos in Toledo were given a beautiful mural. More of that please!!!! There are many ugly factories and silos that could use some love.

*****

Brendan Fraser will be a villain in Batgirl for HBO MAX.

*****

Word is that insurance rates are going up due to climate change.

*****

Alec Baldwin used a prop firearm and accidently shot cinematographer Halyna Hutchins and director Joel Souza on the set of Rust. Much of the crew had apparently walked off the set that morning due to safety concerns and lack of pay.

*****

R.I.P. Jay Sandrich, Paddy Moloney, Dorothy Steel, Colin Powell, Halyna Hutchins, Brendan Kennelly, Val Bisoglio, Leslie Bricusse, James Michael Tyler and Peter Scolari.

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smokeybrand · 3 years

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Smokey brand Reviews: Paint Cost Money and You Got a Long Ass Name

I thought my Amazon Prime account lapsed so i haven’t been watching their content so far. I missed out on a ton apparently. I got bored and figured I'd watch Endgame again, i actually bought it on Prime. So i boot it up and before i actually start the flick, i figure what the hell? Let’s see if it works anyway. I boot up Tropic Thunder and, surprise, the sh*t works! I can actually still watch Prime content! I guess my sh*t i still active. I got a lot of content to make up and first on deck, everyone's favorite The Boys supplement; Invincible! Now, I'm a fan of the book. I just finished it about a month ago so I'm super curious how this adaption fares against it’s source material. IS the hype real or is it just normal hyperbole? Let’s find out!

The Good

I really love the cast in this show, man. I was surprised they got so many big names. Of the top, Steven Yuen as Invincible, himself, is fantastic. Dude's leveled up from Glenn and it's dope to see. I love this dude and it's awesome to see him get time to shine. JK Simmons is always a treat. Jonah never turns in a bad performance. And lets not forget Sandra Oh, who is always a pleasure. She's been hitting pretty hard recently. This show and Killing Eve? Get all of that clout, madame, all of it. Everyone else? All of the supporting bits? Gillian Jacobs as Atom Eve, Zazie Beets as Amber Bennett, Jason Mantzoukas as Rex Splode, and Zachary Quinto as Robot, all kill the sh*t they are given and it makes this show feel organic.

I just gushed about the main cast but the guests? Bro! Seth Rogen, Mark Hamil, Lauren Cohan, Mahershala Ali, Kevin Michael Richardson, Ezra Miller, Mae Whitman, Djimon, Hounsou and John Hamm all make appearances and that's not even everyone! The cameos in this show are long and storied. Seriously, I had no idea so many actual movie stars would want a shot in an Amazon animation but I'm so glad that they did.

The adaption itself is pretty good. I love the stuff they changed to make this comic book fit the visual medium. You have to cut corners to make this thing fit the episodic format and the chosen cuts improve the overall flow of the narrative. I still prefer the story told in the comic but this is a very good adaption.

I have to say, I'm mildly in love with this thing's soundtrack. I was a little surprised when I heard a couple of these tracks. Amazon has all the money in the world but in ever thought they'd spring for the royalties to used these records in there little violent cartoon.

The violence in this show is top f*cking notch. It really does give The Boys a run for it's money in that department. The book is one of the most bloody reads I have ever had the pleasure of checking out and this adaption does all of the gory goodness proper justice. I'm glad Amazon didn't puss out and dumb down the visceral carnage.

The Bad

I f*cking hate this animation, man. I went on a whole tirade about it, you can probably search that up if you want, but this thing looks mad sh*tty. I grew up on anime so I know how awesome proper animation can be. Hell, even Netflix is doing some decent sh*t with their shows but this? This could have been so much better. This should have been so much better. Everything about this show is on point except that actual animation and it's so f*ckd up because it detracts from the enjoyment of the watch. You can have all the violence in the world but if that sh*t looks like sh*t, then it's sh*t overall.

The Verdict

Invincible is pretty good. I like the show. There's a lot of good in there. Great cast, dope performances, awesome violence, outstanding adaption. Solid f*cking entry. That said, I really f*cking hate this animation. It's so goddamn pedestrian, man. Not even comparing it to the far superior sh*t coming out of the Land of the Rising Sun, but Castlevania sh*ts all over this stuff. I ran back through Son of Zeus about a week ago and even that show kills this one and the fact that I KNOW how good this thing COULD have been f*cking kills me. I love animation. I've loved animation my entire life. When it's done well, it's f*cking incredible. Invincible could have been f*cking incredible but they chose to do this generic ass, flat ass, bogus ass, style. All that said, that's just me. Objectively, this is a really great show that deserves all of the yes on it. Bias aside, Invincible definitely lives up to the hype and I had a pretty decent time with it.

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raisindeatre · 7 years

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the dream we dream together here (Zutara Week 2017: Soulmates)

*shows up late with Starbucks* Anyway, this is my very late submission for ZK Week 2017, under the Day 6 ‘Soulmates’ prompt (namely: the idea that you see your soulmate as a ghost after s/he dies, which is… admittedly just a very flimsy excuse for me to write my two favourite things: snow and angst, but oh well)

A hundred years from now, dear heart, We shall not mind the pain; The throbbing crimson tide of life Will not have left a stain. The song we sing together, dear, The dream we dream together here, Will mean no more than means a tear Amid a summer rain.

- John Bennett, In a Rose Garden

A List of Things You Learn Growing Up in the South Pole

1. Things disappear.

Amongst the glaciers, transience is a concept everyone learns from childhood. Nothing ever stays. Snowflakes melt the moment you tip your face up to them, there and gone in a blink as they catch on your eyelashes. You wake up one morning to find half the village’s meat supplies gone, dragged by wolves into the tundra sometime in the night. Every year when the worst of the blizzards hit, there are always people who go missing, caught in the storm and unable to find their way home, their cries indistinguishable from the screaming of the winds outside the heavy folds of the tents.

Things disappear. Mothers are alive one moment, and gone the next. Fathers kiss you goodbye and vanish over the waves, bringing all the men of the village with him as they sail into war.

You dumb-dumb, Sokka says to her once when she is six years old, when he jumps triumphantly out at her from where she is hiding, giggling, behind the alcove where the Southern Water Tribe stores their firewood. That’s gotta be the easiest game of Hide-and-Seek anyone’s ever played. You gotta learn to hide your footprints, Katara. I followed them all the way here.

She sticks her tongue out at him. I hate snow! If we didn’t live in the South Pole, you wouldn’t have been able to find me.

Maybe, Sokka says. But I like it. I like seeing where people go, or where they come from. I like that people know where I am. He jumps away from her, sending a spray of snow in the air, his boots leaving a perfect imprint in the white. It’s like a stamp, see? I am here!

Yeah, I guess snow isn’t so bad, Katara says. If we didn’t live here, I couldn’t do this.

Sokka turns just in time for the snowball to hit him in the face.

(2. How to run from your brother.)

Later, they walk home, Sokka keeping a firm grip on his sister’s hand as dusk begins to fall, as the Southern Water Tribe begin to light their lanterns. Katara looks over her shoulder behind them to see the trail of their footprints already vanishing under the falling snow.

I am here, Sokka had declared, a wild and defiant clarion call. I am here! But Katara looks at her footprints which are already beginning to fill in, and thinks instead, I am disappearing.

3. Things reappear.

But the sea never takes without giving back. Amongst the glaciers, return is also a concept everyone learns from childhood. Driftwood you hurl into the ocean one summer washes up on the black shores the next. Star-flowers survive the ice and the hail to push their weary heads out into the weak sunlight every spring.

The Avatar, a hundred years later, turns up in an iceberg.

And three months after his funeral, Katara wakes up one night to see Zuko sitting on her bed.

A Question: who does she love?

An Answer: the boy in the snow, of course.

Another Question: which one? There were two she first met amongst the ice.

“Zuko?” she says, almost gasps, as she bolts upright in her bed, blinking the sleep from her eyes. Taking shape amongst the familiar shadows of her tent, he looks for a moment like the South Pole personified: his pale skin the shade of every snowfall, his hair as black as any of the rocks rising out of the sea. Only his eyes ruin the illusion: they are the colour of amber as they blink at her, and oh, the joy that rises up in her chest at the sight of them is, for a second, indistinguishable from pain.

Old habits die hard. For so long the first emotion that had roared to life inside her at the sight of him was anger, and Katara almost embraces the fury that sparks to life in her veins.

“You idiot!” Katara snaps at him, and Zuko’s eyes widen. “What were you thinking, taking that lightning bolt for me – I’m so mad at you – “

He smiles at her, faintly. “When are you ever not?” Zuko says, and she almost closes her eyes at the sound of his voice.

Almost. “You idiot,” Katara says, and reaches out to – to hit him, or maybe to hug him, with all the strength that she has –

But her hand passes right through him like he is made of nothing more than mist, and when Zuko looks at her, Katara can see the disappointment in his gaze, but no surprise.

Okay, Katara thinks. Okay.

Anybody else might think they were going crazy. But Katara has held Aang in her arms in the midst of the Avatar state, his eyes glowing white, a god’s incredible, terrible power trapped in the slight figure of a boy. She has seen a princess disappear before her very eyes, vanishing into the sky as Sokka’s face clouded over with loss. She has lost her brother to the Spirit World once, when the angry spirit Hei Bai had whisked him away in its rage. She has visited an impossible library, hurtled down its corridors as she’d fled from the owl guardian’s fury.

Throughout the war, Katara has learned one thing: nothing is impossible when it comes to the spirits, and the way they blur the borders between the two worlds. She might have watched Zuko’s casket being lowered into the ground three months earlier, but he is here now, right in front of her, and that has to mean something, doesn’t it? Aang is the Avatar. Surely there can be some way for him to go into the Spirit World and bring Zuko back. Nothing is impossible, not anymore.

Everything will be okay when Aang sees him. Everything is going to be okay.

“Come with me!” Katara says, and Zuko might be the prince here, but he follows her orders as if doing so comes as naturally as breathing. Katara bursts out of her tent and runs across to Sokka’s, ripping the canvas folds open. Aang and Sokka look up at her blearily from their respective sleeping rolls.

“Katara? What is it?” Aang says in alarm, as he struggles to sit up.

“Zuko –“ Katara says. “He –“

Grief flickers over both their features. Sokka closes his eyes for a beat.

“I know,” her brother says. “Katara, I know, I have nightmares too –“

“What’s wrong with the two of you?” Katara says, gesturing to where Zuko is standing beside her, looking so solid against the ice. “Can’t you see –“ She breaks off, anger and desperation rising up in her throat. “Can’t you see –“

“See what?” Aang says, so gently –

And when Katara turns to look at Zuko – invisible Zuko, impossible Zuko – she sees that behind them in the snow, there is only one set of footprints: hers, which are already disappearing.

A Question: What is the difference between a spirit and a ghost?

An Answer: What does it really matter, in the end?

“Calm down, Katara,” she says to herself when she is back in her tent, having turned on her heel and ignoring Aang and Sokka’s confused flurry of questions. “It’s okay, breathe –“

“Maybe you need some calming tea,” Zuko suggests, from where he is standing by the foot of her bed.

“I don’t need any calming tea!” she snaps at him, and the expression on his face when she says that: amused, and also a little tender – makes something in her throat ache. She runs a hand down her face, takes a deep breath.

“If you were a spirit, Aang would’ve been able to see you,” she says. “I know he would. So what does that mean?”

Zuko doesn’t say anything; only watches her silently.

“I’m not crazy,” she says, and by now they are standing so close that if this had been any other world, one where Zuko had survived his sister, she would be able to feel the warmth of his body. But it is in this world they are in, and the only heart beating in this vicinity is her own. “Zuko, I’m not crazy.”

“I know,” he says softly, all smart remarks forgotten.

“You’re dead.”

A strange expression flickers across his face, a little sad. “I know that too.”

“Then what are you doing here? Why am I the only one who can see you?”

He has no answer for that, and so all he can do is look at her helplessly. Outside, the wind howls across the frozen tundra, and Katara could swear that it is the sound of pure loss.

“You have always been the only one to really see me,” he says to her later, his voice so soft from the corner of her tent he is sitting in. “Why should this be any different?”

Katara closes her eyes from where she is curled up on her bed, huddled under the blankets. “Please don’t say anything more.”

“Katara?”

“I don’t believe in ghosts, Zuko,” she tells him tiredly.

“Why not?”

The answer to this is because if they were real, my mother would have found me by now. The answer to this is because if they were real, why is it only me you’re haunting?

But Katara just shakes her head. She takes in a deep, shuddering breath. “Please,” she says. “Please just leave me alone.”

“I can’t,” he whispers back to her. “I don’t know how to.”

She doesn’t say anything to that, and Zuko studies her for a moment, his eyes dark honey in the flickering lamplight. “If you don’t believe in ghosts, what do you think I am?” he says at last.

For a long, long moment, Katara doesn’t say anything. She closes her eyes and turns her back on him, as if by doing so she can banish him, this vision of Zuko that has crept out of whatever dark crevice in her heart she’s pushed him into, whatever grave he’s been buried in. But when after heartbeats upon heartbeats later she turns and opens her eyes again, he’s still there, looking so real against the dark canvas.

“A dream, maybe,” she says hoarsely. “A hallucination.”

Zuko says, slow and distant, as if almost to himself, “An echo.”

Katara knows all about echoes; knows the hundreds and thousands of ways the South Pole can capture and crystallise and reflect moments in the past. When they were younger, she and Sokka had explored the vast white plains, stumbling into caves, peering over the snow-edged chasms of ravines; their young voices shouting into the depths, Hello! and hearing a thousand ghostly replies back: hello, hello, hello.

On bad nights when the blizzards howl around her tent, she thinks she can hear in its icy scream her own cries from almost a decade ago, trapped forever in the snow: Dad! I think Mum’s in trouble! On bad nights, Katara thinks that living in the South Pole means never escaping the past, an endless loop of your own voice reflected back at you in the cold winds that roll off the waves.

An echo.

“The last thing I ever did,” Zuko says reflectively, “the last thing I ever did in my life was reach for you.” And when he says that Katara flashes back to the palace, fires raging all around her – and Zuko, jerking and shuddering from Azula’s lightning bolt but still struggling to push himself up, still stretching out his hand towards her. “Maybe that’s why I’m here. Maybe I’m still reaching.”

“Then stop,” she says. “Stop reaching.”

Zuko smiles at her then, sadly. “Even if I did, Katara,” he says. “I’d still be here.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he says. “You’re reaching too.”

When Katara goes to sleep that night, she dreams of falling down an endless ravine, of desperately trying to hold on to fingers that always just slip through her own.

4. Always ask your gran-gran.

Amongst the glaciers, there is one truth everybody holds on to: when in doubt, ask your gran-gran. When all the men have gone off to fight, it is the women of the village who become its heart and backbone. It is the women who grimly haul broken bones back into line, who pick up spears to hunt, who tilt their heads back and read the signs in the sky. It is the women you go to when you have questions that need answering. Ask your gran-gran. (Amongst the glaciers, everybody has at least one).

Old habits die hard. It is Kanna that Katara has gone to time and time again over the years: on the fifth anniversary of her mother’s death, all the the cold nights when Hakoda’s ship did not appear on the horizon, the time she got her first moon-blood. It is Kanna that she goes to now.

“Gran-Gran,” Katara says the next morning as she sits down cross-legged in her tent. Zuko hovers unobtrusively by the entrance, as if anybody other than Katara can really see him. “What do you know about ghosts?”

The look her grandmother gives her is so, so sad, but not at all surprised, as if she knew all along that Katara was going to come and ask her this question one day. She looks out at the endless horizon, the flat gray sea just barely visible through the flaps of the tent. She looks, for a moment, older than Katara can ever remember her being. “Katara, my love,” she says. “Are you alright?”

“Please,” Katara says. “Just tell me.”

Kanna doesn’t say anything for a moment, and then:

“It is a strange place, the South Pole,” she says. “So far removed from everything else, all alone. Some people say it sits at the very edge of the world.” She passes a tired hand over her face. “They are wrong, of course. The South Pole sits at the very edge of the worlds; Katara, both of them. Here, there are places where everything is thinner: the air, the ice, and above all the veil that separates our world from the next.”

“And so?”

“And so.” Kanna sighs. “There have always been people here gifted with the sight. Spiritwalkers, we call them. Ghostseers. They see the people who have not yet crossed over, or the people who have crossed back. Which category they belong to doesn’t really matter, after all. The dead are always the dead.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Zuko flinches, and maybe it is because of that Katara’s next words are sharper than she’d intended. “But I’m not one of them,” she says. “I’m not. A ghostseer, or a spiritwalker, or whatever you want to call them. I don’t see the dead, or a horde of ghosts or anything –“

“Just one specific ghost,” Kanna says, and Katara closes her eyes, shame washing over her. It’s not my mother, she wants to say, the guilt rising up in her throat. It’s not your daughter, Gran-Gran, and I don’t know why – if I had to see a ghost, it should’ve been her, I don’t know why it’s him instead – and the worst part is that if I had to choose between the two of them, I don’t know who I would’ve rather been haunted by – they both died for me, and I couldn’t save either of them –

“What does it mean?” she says instead. “If it’s just one ghost, Gran-Gran, please, what does it mean? How can I get rid of –“ Her voice catches, and Zuko looks up at her.

“I do not know, Katara,” Kanna says. “But I imagine…” She trails off, and then sighs. “I think perhaps there might be unfinished business between the two of you. Resolve it. Only then can the two of you move on.”

“Right,” Katara says, addressing Zuko as they face each other in her tent. “Unfinished business. Okay, yeah. I think I know what it is.”

“That makes one of us,” Zuko says.

“Shut up,” Katara says automatically, and the way he arches his good eyebrow back at her is so familiar, muscle memory, an old dance she longs to slip into. She doesn’t. Instead she clears her throat and says, in what she imagines to be a magnanimous tone, “Zuko, I want you to know that I forgive you.”

This should be the moment where he disappears into nothingness, putting this whole hallucination to an end. Instead the affront that flickers over his face is anything but ghostly.

“You what?” he says.

“I forgive you,” Katara repeats, and Zuko looks at her incredulously.

“You forgive me?” he echoes. “For what? Right, yeah, I’m sorry I saved your life, Katara, I should’ve known that was something I had to apologise for –“

“Fine!” Katara shouts back at him, and some distant part of her recognizes that she should keep her voice down, but this is a storm that has been months and months in the breaking. “Then I apologize! I’m sorry!” she says, and her voice breaks a little, her chest catching as Zuko stares at her.

I’m sorry, Katara thinks desperately, I’m sorry that I didn’t do anything when Azula looked at me. I’m sorry I didn’t run, or fight back. I’m sorry that all I did was stand there and watch you jump. I’m sorry I volunteered to go with you. I’m sorry that all I ever was to you was a death sentence, I’m sorry I led you to your grave, I’m sorry –

She doesn’t say any of this out loud, but Zuko – Zuko is a ghost now, or an echo, or a memory – she doesn’t know, does she, but whatever he is, it renders speech between them unnecessary.

“Katara,” he says, reaching out to cup her cheek gently, but his hand passes right through her, and it’s ridiculous that this is the thing that sets her off, but it is. Touch has always been the one honest thing between them – even when they could trust nothing else about each other, their bodies have always spoken the truth. A palm on a scar, a hand reaching out to pull the other on a bison, arms flung around a neck. Depriving them of this is the cruellest thing Katara can imagine, and she lets the tears slide down her cheeks soundlessly as he tries, again and again, to wipe them away.

“Katara,” he says at last. “Katara, don’t be sorry. Don’t ever be sorry. I don’t regret it; I will never regret what I did for you. That isn’t why I’m here.”

“Then why are you here?” Katara asks him again, and again his face registers nothing but uncertainty. And how can I make you leave? is the unspoken question between them, because just looking at Zuko hurts in a way Katara can’t quite articulate, can’t even begin to understand.

Has it only been months since the Agni Kai? It feels like a lifetime.

“I don’t know,” Zuko says helplessly. “I don’t know.”

Stop reaching, Katara tells herself. Stop reaching, but when she opens her eyes Zuko is still there.

“Maybe it’s not me you have unfinished business with,” Katara says to him later. “Maybe it’s Uncle Iroh. Or Sokka, or Aang. Have you tried going to them?”

“Of course I have,” he replies. “You greatly overestimate how interesting it is being in your head.”

“Hey, now.”

He tilts a tired smile at her. “Of course I’ve tried,” he says, quieter. “But I can’t. Sokka and Aang can’t even see me, and every time I try to go to my uncle I end up back here. I can’t leave. Wherever I try to go, whichever path I take, it leads me right back to you.”

“Not to me,” Katara says, trying to ignore the way her heart has jumped at his words, because she isn’t allowed to feel like this anymore, she isn’t allowed to look at a dead boy and think, maybe – “The South Pole. You heard what my gran-gran said, this place is like some kind of magnet for spirits or something. It’s nothing to do with me.”

“Maybe,” Zuko says. “Or maybe not.”

He sighs, and Katara watches the place where his breath should cloud out into the icy air. (There is nothing there, of course.) “Even when I was still…” he says, trailing off, and Katara knows what he means to say is alive. “Even back then,” Zuko starts over, “every path led me to you. Again and again and again. It’s just the same thing, I guess. It shouldn’t come as a surprise now.”

“You were tracking Aang,” Katara says. “Every path led you to him.”

“It wasn’t Aang,” Zuko says quietly, “that I met in the caverns beneath Ba Sing Se.”

And Katara closes her eyes, as if doing so will make what Zuko says next – what she knows Zuko will say next – less painful. It doesn’t, of course.

“It’s you, Katara,” he says. “It’s always been you.”

“Do you ever think about what would happen if things had been different?” Katara asks.

“Sometimes,” Zuko replies.

“What do you mean?” Aang says.

“I mean…” Katara says. “I mean, what if Zuko hadn’t died that day at the Agni Kai?”

Sokka shakes his head when she says that, grief and anger warring in his blue eyes. “Katara, don’t.”

“I’m just saying,” she says, but he interrupts.

“What’s the point in wondering?” he says sharply. “He did. It’s over. There’s no point thinking anything else.”

Aang looks at Sokka reproachfully, the way he does anyone he thinks is hurting Katara. “Maybe it would do us good to talk about it,” he says, but Sokka brushes them off, getting to his feet.

“Then be my guest,” he says. “I’m out of here.”

Zuko closes his eyes as Sokka walks right through him, and for a moment Katara wants to take the words back, call after her brother. Sokka is right, after all. Zuko is dead. Nothing any of them can do will change that.

But instead she turns back to Aang and says, “So what do you think would’ve happened? Do you think Zuko would’ve been here with us? The four of us at the South Pole – that sounds great, right?”

“Right,” Aang says uncertainly, as if he’s unsure now if this was a good idea or not, but Zuko looks right at Katara and says, “No.”

Katara has to fight to keep her eyes on Aang’s face, but Zuko pushes on.

“If I’d lived,” he says, the sound of his voice low and inexorable like the crashing of the sea in the distance, “I would never have come to the South Pole, Katara. I would’ve stayed in the Fire Nation and assumed the throne. I would’ve become Fire Lord. I would’ve married someone there.”

“Stop it,” Katara hisses, and Aang looks at her in confusion, but Zuko continues talking.

“Maybe,” he says. “Maybe this is why I’m here. Because this is the only way I can be here. Any other way – if I’d lived – I wouldn’t have been able to be here with you –“

“But you’re not,” Katara says, the word almost a wail, and the despair that opens up in her stomach like a chasm feels black and never-ending. “You’re not here, you’re not even real –“ She buries her face in her hands, shaking, and Aang steps forward to hug her –

But Sokka is there first; Sokka, who turned back for her like he always has, like he always will, and it is in her brother’s arms that Katara collapses for the first time since this all of this happened. Aang rubs comforting circles on her back as Zuko stands by and watches them, grief written all over his face, and Katara thinks to herself – to him – I miss you, she thinks, but you’re just in my head. You aren’t anything, anymore.

He doesn’t deny any of it. “Don’t cry,” is all he says, helplessly, as if that has ever stopped anyone from weeping.

Stop reaching. Stop reaching.

But Katara doesn’t know how to.

The nightmares get worse, and she begins to lose her appetite. Slowly Katara begins to withdraw from the rest of the village, because it’s easier to be alone – not that she’s ever really alone, not anymore – than it is to have to face the fact that nobody else can see Zuko, that no one else can hear his dry voice. It’s less confusing than having to navigate the awkward situations that arise with Aang or Sokka when she responds to something they haven’t said, when her eyes slide past them to where Zuko, invisible, is watching her.

It’s easier to disappear into the tundra for hours at a time, to sit with Zuko on the bluffs and watch the ocean churning below.

“Katara,” he says, almost sighs from where he is stretched out on the snow beside her, gazing up into the sky. “Katara, Katara.” He turns his head to look at her with his good eye. “It sounds like the wind, a little bit. Like it’s saying your name.”

“Oh?” she says tiredly.

“Don’t you think?” he says, as the plains around them sing with the sound of her name, calling her home. Katara, Katara. And Katara knows that for the rest of her life, it will be Zuko’s voice she will hear every time the arctic wind whispers across the ice. The idea is enough to make her want to curl up in the snow and sleep forever, to walk into the ocean and never stop walking, to reach out for Zuko’s hand and never let go.

“I do now,” she says, and they don’t say anything more after that.

Whatever you have to do, Kanna had told her that day in the tent, make sure you do it soon, Katara. The living weren’t meant to mix with the dead. They have to fade, or we run the risk of fading with them.

And there are times when Katara thinks her grandmother is right. Sleepless nights, pushing around the noodles in her bowl, uneaten. Days when she is viscerally surprised at the fact that she casts a shadow in the arctic sun, so used to the absence of Zuko’s own. A moment when she realizes that the first thing she does upon waking is look for Zuko, her eyes searching the tent for a dead boy’s face.

Stop reaching, Katara.

But she doesn’t. How can she? She stretched out a hand towards him in the green light beneath Ba Sing Se, and she’s never really withdrawn it since. Across oceans he has followed her, over mountains and canyons and a million forests, South Pole to Earth Kingdom to Fire Nation, palace to palace.

And now, somehow, she has to let go.

“You should sleep,” Zuko tells her one night, as the katabatic winds howl around them. Even with what feels like a hundred furs piled on top of her, Katara can still feel the cold.

“I can’t.”

“Have you been having nightmares again?” he asks, and Katara has to close her eyes at that. Again. He doesn’t know, does he, that they’ve never really stopped, not since he died. Instead she says, “Yes. Do you want to hear a bedtime story?”

Zuko smiles faintly. “Go on then.”

“Once upon a time,” Katara says, “a brother and a sister found the Avatar – who’d been missing for a hundred years – in an iceberg.”

“I think I’ve heard this one before,” Zuko says.

“It’s a pretty famous story. The brother and the sister who saved the world. The Wolf of the South and the most beautiful girl in the South Pole.”

“Huh,” Zuko says. “Not a very hard job. I heard she was the only girl in the South Pole.”

“And so,” Katara says, ignoring him, “they took the Avatar and his sky bison back to their village, and for a while things were good. But then who should come sailing in but a Fire Nation warship.”

“Of course.”

“Heading the ship was the prince of the Fire Nation and his uncle. And this prince, this villain, this evil jerkbender –“

“I get it.”

“He comes marching in and says, Give me the Avatar! I need to capture him to restore my honour!”

Zuko huffs. “I don’t sound like that.”

And when Katara looks at him, all the teasing in her falls away, because the look of affront on his face is so real, so familiar, and yes – yes, Katara thinks, she can see how the way she feels about him can transcend memories, can transcend even death. The way she feels about him – how could some part of Zuko not remain here, not be pulled back from wherever the dead go?

“Well,” Zuko says. “This doesn’t sound like it’s shaping up to be a good story.”

Katara, Katara, the gales sing outside, as the storm continues to rage. If she was to leave her tent now, she knows all she would see is endless white. If she was to leave her tent now, she would never be able to find her way back.

Katara pulls the blankets up to her chin, curls away from him. “Yeah, well. You should hear the ending.”

This is what she dreams about, again and always:

Falling into a chasm, the wind screaming past her as she tumbles into the black, all the fear and panic crushed into her throat so she cannot even cry out. And a hand, pale in the darkness as it stretches out to her, as she tries again and again, to grab on to it.

Stop reaching, Katara.

But if I stop, she thinks, I’ll die.

But there are times when she wakes up and sees Zuko watching her, half a smile on his face – here and not here, her impossible boy – and thinks that this might just be eating her alive anyway.

When the snowball hits her in the face, the first thing Katara registers is surprise. The next is fury.

“What in the Spirits’ name do you think you’re doing?” she yells at Sokka. Her brother is standing a few feet away, his shoulders squared, his jaw set – but despite all the determination in his stance, his blue eyes when he looks at her are filled with anxiety; worry that Katara knows she has helped to place in the lines of his face.

“We are going,” he says slowly, “to have a snowball fight.”

“What?” Katara says, as Aang nods solemnly at her from where he is standing beside Sokka.

“We are going to have a snowball fight,” Sokka repeats.

Katara turns away, to where Zuko is watching them. “I don’t want to –“

“You’re not eating!” Sokka cries out. “You’re not eating, and you’re not sleeping, and you’re not listening to anything anyone says anymore, like you’re not even here, and half the time you really aren’t here, you’re off in the tundra somewhere and –“

Katara swallows. “Stop it.”

“I miss him too,” Sokka says, taking a step towards her. “I miss him every day. We all do. You don’t have a monopoly on this grief, Katara. And we are going to have a snowball fight, right here, right now, because if Zuko was here this is what he would want.”

“No, it isn’t!” Zuko and Katara say in unison.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Sokka says. “Prince High-and-Mighty probably wouldn’t be caught dead in the South Pole.”

“Too cold,” Aang jumps in.

“And if he ever did come, we’d probably have to assign someone to keep an eye on him at all times,” Sokka says. “We’d lose him otherwise. After all, the guy could practically camouflage in snow, right?”

“How can you say that?” Aang mimics, just as Zuko says those exact words, and Katara – she doesn’t know whether to laugh or to cry.

“Maybe this is why I’m here,” Zuko huffs. “To stop you from being alone with these two morons. I feel like that’s a good enough reason to come back from the dead.”

Sokka and Aang are still watching her, and their eyes are suspiciously bright, but there is hope in their expressions too, a kind of plea. Come back to us, Katara. Katara, Katara.

“If he was here,” Sokka says softly, “he would want us to live.”

Is that true? Katara thinks, and all the mock-affront on Zuko’s face vanishes, to be replaced with disbelief, a terrible surprise.

“Do you really believe otherwise?” he says, his voice so hoarse. “I jumped in front of a lightning bolt for you, Katara, and you really have to ask me that?”

Katara swallows, nods. “Okay,” she says. “Okay.”

Relief sweeps across Sokka’s face then, in a way that reminds Katara of the waves breaking against the rocks: bleak and breathless. “Okay?”

“Okay,” Katara says, and throws a snowball right in his face.

(2. How to run from your brother.)

The battle is furious and deadly, snowballs flying through the air as they run and duck and jump, as triumphant shouts rise up to the sky, as they slip and tumble and skid on the ice. And with every victorious war cry, every footprint stamped on the snow, Katara remembers what Sokka had said, so long ago. I am here. The war has taken everything else from her, but it has not taken this. I am here!

“You cheater!” Katara yells at Sokka, when she sees that he has already prepared a whole pile of snowballs, ready to launch missile after missile at her.

“Non-bender privileges!” he shouts back, and Aang explodes from the snowbank beside them to shower them in white, roaring like a polar bear, and Katara cannot remember the last time she has laughed so hard.

There is a moment, though, when she glances around and sees Zuko looking at them, and the terrible sadness on his face stops her in her tracks. He looks down at himself as a snowball goes right through his stomach, and then another through his leg, and looks back up at them with such an expression of longing that it almost brings Katara to her knees.

Sooner or later, they are going to have to fix this, to stop reaching, to let go, because Katara sees now that she is not the only one being eaten alive. Sokka barrels right through him, shouting a battle cry as he hurls snowballs in quick succession at Aang, and Katara sees Zuko close his eyes.

They are here, but Zuko is disappearing.

Are we ghosts to you? she thinks. Are you haunting me? Am I haunting you?

“Yes,” Zuko says, his voice so quiet amongst the din. “Yes.”

The days after Zuko’s funeral and before she’d boarded the ship that would take her back home are a dark blur, but what she does remember is spending hours and hours in the Fire Nation Library, alone there in the dark and quiet.

There had been a poem in one of the Fire Nation scrolls she’d read again and again, peering over the parchment in the flickering light of the candles. Even now, four months and a thousand miles later, Katara can remember every word.

A hundred years from now, dear heart, she thinks, we shall not mind the pain.

“I remember that poem,” Zuko says. “It used to be one of my favourites.” He stretches out from where he is lying on the hides next to her sleeping roll, looking up at the roof of her tent, his smoky voice dropping to a whisper. “The throbbing crimson tide of life, Will not have left a stain.”

The song we sing together, dear, Katara thinks dully, the dream we dream together here –

“Will mean no more than means a tear,” Zuko finishes, “Amid a summer rain.” He props himself up on one elbow to look at her, his beautiful eyes so clear in the lamplight.

A hundred years from now, Katara thinks. A hundred years.

“Aang,” she says to him. “You’re pretty old, aren’t you?”

“Wow. Good morning to you too, Katara.”

She doesn’t laugh, but she does tilt a tired smile towards him. “Sorry. I was just wondering. I mean, technically you’re a hundred and twelve years old, right?”

Aang studies her for a moment, his eyes as gray as the sea churning behind them as they walk on the shores together. “Yeah. I guess.”

“So how…” Katara says, and looks away from him. Zuko is sitting on a nearby rock, watching them, but she forces herself to ignore him and look instead at the never-ending sky before her, the forever horizon. She takes a deep breath. “How do you do it? How do you keep on going?”

Aang doesn’t say anything, and Katara squeezes her eyes shut so she does not have to witness the pain she is about to inflict. “Everyone you’ve ever lost. Gyatso. The Air Nomads. How do you not let it crush you?”

When she looks at him again, she almost wants to take everything back, to erase the terrible grief that’s spread across his young (old) face. Aang looks at the ocean for a long while, his throat working.

“You want to know,” he says at last, “how I’ve moved on? I haven’t.” He runs a tired hand down his face. “You can’t move on from the past, Katara. All you can do is move ahead.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I, to be honest,” Aang admits softly. “I just… You have to have faith in the future before you. You have to believe that what lies ahead is greater than the loss behind.”

Katara doesn’t look at him when she says, “What if I can’t?”

Aang rests a gentle hand on her shoulder. “You miss him. And you will miss him every day for the rest of your life. But it will not be forever, Katara. I believe we will see him again, one day.”

Seeing him isn’t the problem, Katara thinks, and Zuko smiles mirthlessly at her.

“It will get better,” Aang says.

“How do you know, though?” Katara says at last, letting all her rage and despair into her voice. “How do you know it will get better? Maybe you’re better-equipped for this life, Aang, because you’re the Avatar, did you ever think of that? You’re going to live forever, in a way, so maybe loss doesn’t mean anything to you, but I only have one life –“

And I have already endured enough loss for a million of them, is what she doesn’t say. How can one life withstand so much grief?

“Don’t tell me it’s going to get better if you don’t believe it,” she says finally. “Don’t lie to me. I am sick and tired of people lying to me! I am sick of you lying to me.”

“Katara!” Aang protests, but Katara is looking directly at Zuko, who is rising to his feet. Somewhere she is dimly aware of Aang stumbling over his words, saying, “I’m sorry I lied to you when we first met Bato – I didn’t want you and Sokka to leave me, I’m sorry –“ But she keeps her eyes steadily on Zuko, who looks back at her with indignation.

“When?” he demands. “When did I ever lie to you?”

I can take Azula this time, she thinks emotionlessly. And this way no one else has to get hurt.

“Oh,” Zuko says. “Oh.”

And one night the nightmare changes: one night, she dreams she is back at the Agni Kai, blue and white and yellow flares lighting up the blackness as Zuko and his sister do battle, but this time when Azula turns to look at her it is Yon Rha’s face she is wearing, and suddenly they are in the middle of a blizzard, the arctic gales screaming around her with the voice of her mother, Katara, Katara, and Zuko jumps –

And Katara wakes up screaming too, her hands scrabbling over the blankets, her chest so tight it feels like she might die, then and there, her lungs gasping for breath. She is sweat-soaked and shaking, and Zuko is kneeling before her, trying desperately to hold on to her shoulders, to touch her face, saying, “Katara, it’s alright – it was only a dream, I’m here –“

“No,” she says, her tongue still thick from sleep. “No, you’re not –“

“It’s okay,” Zuko says, “everything’s okay –“

“It’s not okay!” she shouts, and Zuko flinches back, moves to say something, but Katara doesn’t let him. “It’s not okay, and you’re not here, you aren’t ever going to be here again, and I could’ve lived with that, I think I could have, if only you would let me.”

“Katara,” he whispers, brokenly, but Katara shuts her eyes as if by doing so she can shut him out forever.

“And I thought I could do this,” Katara says, “I thought I could have it both ways, but I can’t, I cannot keep you and I cannot let you go, and it feels like it’s killing me, Zuko, it’s –“

And suddenly her grandmother is there, enveloping her in her arms as Katara rests her head on her shoulder and cries and cries the way she hasn’t let herself in years, every breath she takes shuddering throughout her body. Her grandmother holds her, and doesn’t say anything, but Katara knows, as Kanna’s hands move comfortingly down her spine, that she can feel how prominent her ribs have become.

“Katara,” she says at last. “Katara, my love, please, you need to let go.”

“I’m trying, Gran-Gran,” Katara rasps. “I’m trying so hard –“

“Are you, though?” Kanna says, and tilts her head to catch Katara’s gaze, her eyes blue and so, so tired. “Are you really? Are you really ready to let go of him?”

“I don’t know why he’s here,” Katara says. “I don’t know what unfinished business we have –“

“That wasn’t my question,” her grandmother says. “Are you ready, here and now, to let go of him?”

Yes. No. Katara raises her head, lets her gaze flicker around, but for once Zuko is not there. For once, she is alone, and she has to fight not to cry again at how relieved she is at that, even if it feels a little like a betrayal. If Zuko stays any longer, she thinks she might grow to hate him, and Katara - oh, Katara has survived many things, but she does not think she can survive that.

“I think,” she says at last. “I might have to be.”

5. How to let go.

They are standing on the edge of the cliffs, she and Zuko, looking down into the waves. She can feel the current of the ocean from here, a waterbender’s call, the song of the sea. The sea, which never takes without giving back.

A hundred years from now, dear heart, she thinks.

“The grief will all be over,” Zuko finishes quietly from behind her. He looks so tired today, pale and almost flickering in the light of the setting sun, as if it is only here and now that he has become, finally, a ghost to her. You are here, she thinks. But I am disappearing.

Whatever unfinished business you and I have, she thinks, we have to let it go, we have to let go –

And just like that, she – she understands, feels the knowledge shift in her like a glacier splitting open, like a piece of driftwood washing up on the shore, like a snowfall covering the last of the footprints heading home.

“I know,” Katara says. “I know why you’re here. And I know how we can end this.”

There is silence for a long time, and then:

“Good,” Zuko says. “Are you going to tell me?”

“Tomorrow,” Katara says. “Just… just stay with me. One more night.”

“Always,” Zuko says, and they stand there together until the dusk begins to fall.

And the next day –

The next day, Katara leads Zuko out into the tundra. For a long, long moment she looks at him; his sharp chin, his dark hair, his eyes so soft as they look back at her. Ahead of them the vast snowy plains stretch on for forever, an endless white expanse reaching out to the horizon, the brilliance of the arctic sun almost blinding as she squints into it.

“I thought,” Katara says finally, “I thought that you were here because we had unfinished business. But that’s not true, is it?” She reaches out and rests her hand a heartbeat away from Zuko’s scarred cheek; and he closes his eyes and leans into her palm. She pretends she can feel the warm skin against her own, and lets out a breath.

“We don’t have unfinished business, Zuko,” she says. “You and I, we never started.”

Zuko blinks at her, long and slow.

“And –“ Katara says, and her voice catches, just for a moment. “Maybe that’s better, you know? If we’d started, but we never got the chance to end things, I don’t think I could’ve let go of you, but we never started, the two of us, and maybe that’ll make it easier. Maybe now you can go. Maybe now we can stop reaching.”

And Zuko smiles at her, just a little, so sadly it makes her throat ache, but there is something else in it too. Affection. Understanding. Grace.

“Never started,” he says, his voice so familiar – and already, it seems a little hollow, echoing, like already it is fading. “Okay. I think I can live with that.”

“That’s a terrible joke, ghost boy,” she says. “I’m the one who has to live with it.”

“Can you?”

“Oh, don’t you worry about my strength,” Katara says, an old joke between them, and even though she is breathless, even though she has to fight every impulse in her body to gasp out the next words, she does. “I have plenty.”

“Okay,” Zuko says. “Okay.” He turns to look at the horizon, unceasing and so empty. If they walk into it, Katara thinks, they might just keep walking forever, until they reach the edge of this world and cross over into the next one. He looks younger, suddenly; Katara can just barely make out the loosening in his brow as his features begin to flicker and fade.

“Thank you, Katara,” he says, and Katara has to stop for a moment, reset her heart, breathe out the pain in her lungs. It is too cold to cry, and for that alone, she thinks she might love the South Pole a little, this beautiful and frozen landscape, this icy world that has broken and built her.

“I think,” she says. “I’m the one who should be thanking you.”

Zuko tilts a smile at her over his shoulder, but he is already walking into the sun, and Katara watches him go. He doesn’t leave any footprints, but Katara pretends he does, and she stays until those imaginary footprints – I am here; I am disappearing – have been filled in by the snow that has already begun to fall.

And it is then, and only then, that she turns back towards her village – Katara, Katara – and lets the winds sing her home.

A hundred years from now, dear heart, The grief will all be o'er; The sea of care will surge in vain Upon a careless shore. These glasses we turn down today Here at the parting of the way— We shall be wineless then as they, And shall not mind it more.

#i write #zutara fic #zutara week #zutara week 2017 #zutara #otp: you rise with the moon i rise with the sun #forever and always the show of my heart #atla

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venomwrites · 4 years

Note

onion, pumpkin, cherry, pepper, pear, potato

ONION - most emotional muse?

Kevin White, he spends most of his time pretending not to have them which just makes it worse when they come out. When he snaps it’s bad. That’s why he’s been dumped the most times out of all my characters.

PUMPKIN - a muse you’d hate in real life?

I still think Amber Davis is the muse I would hate most in real life. She might be the only character I was semi relieved not to play anymore since the hole I dug for her was so big.

CHERRY - favourite pair of fcs to put together?

All of them? There’s a much shorter list of fcs that have been ruined for me that I never want to see again. But it’s a long list of faves. I also have a total weakness for when two fcs are in the same show. I had a Luke Mitchel/Chloe Bennett ship before aos happened.

PEPPER - favourite plot for your favourite muse?

Again so so many but I had a great plot for Jay Rao who was hiding the fact that he was a half blood. He was found out and his family lost everything. On the surface he embraced his half blood side and portrayed himself as this reformer who fought for the little guy. In actuality though he was just playing everyone so he could get revenge on the person who revealed his blood status. It was beyond satisfying.

PEAR - favourite muse?

Ugh i hate myself a little for saying it’s sill Felicity Adolph though Robert Wesley comes in close second along with Jay Rao, Kevin White and Devon Blackwood. I think Felicity was unique because she was so awful. Like they all are but she was amazingly worse. I think because she didn’t care about the stuff she was supposed to. I also loved that she was such a bad guy in so many ways. And things never worked out for her which was fitting but it was so fun to have someone so true to herself.

POTATO - most used muse?

Kevin White has had the most use if you look at all the rps etc I’ve dragged the poor boy through. Which doesn’t help the fact that I desperately want to take him in a new rp even though lbr I should be focusing on making new characters.

#mine #meme #answered #ask

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hellooogaynow · 7 years

Note

1-100

omg ok tbh i forgot that i reblogged that ask thing but thank u fren here u go

1. spotify, soundcloud, or pandora?

spotify

2. is your room messy or clean?

um ok so my room at my mom’s is technically the office and just full of mine and everyone else’s storage so it isn’t really my room i guess and my room at my dad’s is nearly empty and i haven’t been there more than a couple times in a while and i’ve been crashing at friend’s and family’s houses and living out of a suitcase for weeks so i’m just gonna say i don’t really have a room

3. what color are your eyes?

dark brown

4. do you like your name? why?

alright well this is complicated because i hate the name emily and lately i’ve been going by emmitt for a while and it’s just weird because i feel so disconnected from emily and not super connected to emmitt either and i feel like i should just be a nameless person because i hate being referred to as anything tbh

5. what is your relationship status?

happily in a relationship with someone i really care about

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

a detached mess

7. what color hair do you have?

my natural dark brown color

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

ah it’s a purple mini van that’s rusting and dying

9. where do you shop?

target lol

10. how would you describe your style?

almost exclusively button ups and baseball shirts

11. favorite social media account?

tumblr probably i use this the most out of all of them

12. what size bed do you have?

queen

13. any siblings?

i have 2 sisters

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

i honestly have no idea how to answer this question i don’t have a dream destination or anything

15. favorite snapchat filter?

omg probably the cute cat one that changes ur voice cuz my friends look so cute when they use it

16. favorite makeup brand(s)?

i don’t know anything about makeup

17. how many times a week do you shower?

every day sometimes multiple times a day

18. favorite tv show?

buffy the vampire slayer and dollhouse kill me

19. shoe size?

idk i’m pretty sure i’m a 6

20. how tall are you?

5’1

21. sandals or sneakers?

sneakers

22. do you go to the gym?

no lol but i do plan to start going once i actually move in to my new place and get settled

23. describe your dream date

i want to spend a day in chicago with emily doing whatever we want just walking and wandering into stores and go to a zoo or a museum or navy pier or honestly just anything at this point i miss her so much i don’t care what we do as long as we’re together

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

25. what color socks are you wearing?

they’re both different variations of black white and light blue

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

at least 2

27. do you have a job? what do you do?

yeah i recently got a job in the mental health field and i work primarily with adults with various mental illnesses in a 24/7 supervised living area at the moment it’s mostly individuals dealing with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, and borderline personality disorder and i help them with symptom management, building the skills they have chosen to work on in their treatment plans, and help them carry activities of daily living so they can become self-sufficient and can transition out and live on their own

28. how many friends do you have?

ah i mean i know i have a lot of friends but as far as really close friends i know i can count on and will most likely always have around i’d say i have about 8

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?

ah fuck well i went through a really destructive phase in my recent past where i was just in a bad place and i withdrew and lashed out a lot and was super emotionally unstable and i hurt a lot of people and i regret it

30. whats your favorite candle scent?

omg i have no idea i usually just smell all the blue ones and go from there

31. 3 favorite boy names

elliot (this is my favorite name in the world probably)

max

derrick

32. 3 favorite girl names

bennett

caroline

sara

33. favorite actor?

i thought about this for a solid 5 minutes and no one is coming to mind i’m gonna leave this blank

34. favorite actress?

eliza dushku and alyson hannigan kill me every time i watch dollhouse or buffy i’m in love with her

35. who is your celebrity crush?

amber liu

36. favorite movie?

selena

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i used to read a lot when i was a kid and the music of dolphins by karen hesse has always stuck with me for some reason idk if it’s my favorite but when i was a kid i checked it out at least once a month on our elementary library visits and even now i always find myself thinking about it

38. money or brains?

well if u don’t have money u can’t survive in this capitalist society so i mean

but if this question is asking what i want in a person i’d want the smart

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?

my family calls me mimi and tbh it’s the only thing i actually feel comfortable with weirdly

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

i’ve been to the hospital multiple times to visit people but i don’t remember actually needing to be there myself besides when i burned my hands as a child

41. top 10 favorite songs

this is def subject to change depending on my mood at any given moment but for right now:

hold me tight by bts

house of cards by bts

lie by bts

all mine by one ok rock

deeper deeper by one ok rock

we are by one ok rock

decision by one ok rock

clock strikes by one ok rock

como la flor by selena

moon river waltz by shinee

42. do you take any medications daily?

no i had issues with family and insurance so i had to stop seeing my psych and taking meds

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

dry

44. what is your biggest fear?

my mom having anything else bad happen to her

45. how many kids do you want?

this is most likely not going to be my choice lol i don’t have a number in mind if i do have kids

46. whats your go to hair style?

short and whatever it wants to do when i get out of the shower

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

well i don’t really live in a house rn but my mom’s house is huge she just moved in and it’s crazy big i’m so happy for her also the house i’m gonna move into soon is p small but still cute

48. who is your role model?

idk probably my mom she’s been through a lot and is still going strong

49. what was the last compliment you received?

“you’re so sweet, you know that?” from a client

50. what was the last text you sent?

“nini

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

tbh i have no idea i was probably in elementary school

52. what is your dream car?

something that runs, is either blue or grey, and magically doesn’t cost me anything to drive it

53. opinion on smoking?

it smells terrible and i don’t like to be around people who smoke

54. do you go to college?

yeah i just graduated

55. what is your dream job?

i have no idea i don’t know what i want i haven’t really thought that far ahead but i love my job so far so i’m alright with where i’m at

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

i don’t really have a preference as long as i’m with and near people i care about

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

i don’t think i’ve ever personally done that

58. do you have freckles?

yeah i have a couple scattered around

59. do you smile for pictures?

i make this weird stupid half smile face and i can’t stop

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

761

61. have you ever peed in the woods?

i have not

62. do you still watch cartoons?

i never want to not watch cartoons

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from wendy’s or mcdonalds?

i don’t like chicken nuggets from anywhere

64. favorite dipping sauce?

wait for what

i like soy sauce for potstickers

65. what do you wear to bed?

usually shorts and a t shirt

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

no i’m terrible at spelling out loud

67. what are your hobbies?

i like to dance idk not much else tho i guess

68. can you draw?

nooooo

69. do you play an instrument?

i played guitar once but i forgot everything smh

70. what was the last concert you saw?

the bts wings tour

71. tea or coffee?

tea

72. starbucks or dunkin donuts?

dunkin donuts

73. do you want to get married?

yes

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?

e g

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

i’ve thought about this actually and i’m mostly just hesitant about how difficult it would be to change my name on like all the legal paperwork and like bills and work things and it just sounds super complicated but i wish it could be easier because i hate where my last name comes from and if i married my current gf we would literally have the exact same name and we would be able to confuse people even more and i just think it would be funny

76. what color looks best on you?

black i think

77. do you miss anyone right now?

yes oh my god

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed always closed

79. do you believe in ghosts?

yeah i do

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

ok i get so mad when i go to a friend’s place who has long hair and i’m walking barefoot through their house or i’m sleeping over or i’m under a blanket or something and it just makes me so mad when i feel dumb long single strands of hair in my toes i hate it so much it makes me so mad idk man but this happened to me last night and i’ve been thinking about it ever since

81. last person you called?

ah well the last phone call that i was on was with the director of all the residential living things at my work

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

idk probably chocolate and vanilla with caramel

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?

regular oreos

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

no sprinkles pls

85. what shirt are you wearing?

black and grey v neck t shirt

86. what is your phone background?

a picture of my gf i took a while back of her from a distance with the river and sunset in the background

87. are you outgoing or shy?

shy with everyone besides my friends

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

only like a very specific like 2 people but when it’s anyone else i get really uncomfortable with being touched and you’d think that people wouldn’t just come up to you and start touching your hair and telling you how soft it is but it’s more common than you think and it makes me want to d ie

89. do you like your neighbors?

my nonexistent neighbors r gr8

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

i always wash it in the morning but sometimes i wash it at night too if i feel gross from the day

91. have you ever been high?

nope never

92. have you ever been drunk?

yes

93. last thing you ate?

a blizzard from dairy queen with pieces of brownies in it

94. favorite lyrics right now

ok i’m gonna be honest and just say i’m not in a place to listen to music rn i’ve been listening to exclusively podcasts and i have not listened to a song and not zoned out completely during it in a very long time and no lyrics are coming to mind

95. summer or winter?

summer

96. day or night?

night

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?

ah milk or white i guess i’m not a super big fan tho

98. favorite month?

june cuz my birthday also gay

99. what is your zodiac sign

gemini

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

my dad

#asks #anon #thank u

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