#i mean i know they´re trying to avoid spoiling the important stuff

[madfoxx]

lol yeah michael we wouldnt want to put any labels on it for sure

[chuckeroo777]

Dungeon Meshi Volume 6 Part 1

Welcome back to my liveblog! As a reminder, this is a re-read, so expect plenty of spoilers!

Don't intentionally spoil people or get thwacked in the face.

Huh. So they have been here for about a week. Makes Rin's exasperation even more understandable.

Wow, rude. I feel like if you actually knew her, that's kinda the last thing she would do. She hates eating weird stuff.

Batting 0 for 3 Maizuru. Honestly, I originally thought she was kind of a jerk, but between this and "Ninja Art: Babysitter", I think her observational skills are just really bad.

See? She doesn't have a clue why this is an atrocious idea.

I mean, it was an elf who was around during Delgal's day, and was using exceptionally potent ancient magic. Who the heck else would it be? Plus the orcs confirmed his identity. And of course Laios thinks Thistle is mad about the food.

Asebi is not amused.

Hmm... another depiction of the winged lion with horns. Also, there was no need to bring up the black magic. Marcille used a regular resurrection spell, just using ancient magic to boost the power level. If the dragon hadn't been soul-bound by Thistle, it would have gone without a hitch. People like to joke Marcille did nothing wrong, but in this one case, I think she was totally in the right. There is plenty of time for her to commit war crimes later.

Chilchuck: Gasp! You were drugging him!

Kabru is here for ALL the hot goss. From a distance.

I love how the canon explanation for why Faligon has feathers is that Dragons = Dinosaurs. It's like an atavism or something. Idk, it looks cool. Stop asking questions.

God. Marcille may be my favorite, but I relate so much to Laios. This chapter and the next are painful. (And I'm not talking about the part where everyone dies)

If only Chilchuck won the coin toss, we could've avoided this drama. (At least until Shuro saw Falin)

Now that's a trustworthy face if I ever saw one.

Well well well. If it isn't the consequences of my actions.

I know I just got done explaining that her actions were fine. Just let me be funny.

Eh, it's worth a try. It works in at least one alternate universe.

She's beauty, she's grace. She's gonna eat your face.

What's all the more heartbreaking is you get little moments where Falin shines through. She wants to pet the doggie! But then the dragon reasserts itself.

Even freakier, I think this is actually Falin too. You can see her pupils oscillate throughout this scene between normal, and elongated.

Like, I don't think it did that on purpose, but the dragon is more than happy to exploit the opening it creates.

Holm? Holm, are those golem cores? Have you been holding out on us?

Man, no wonder she freaks out. Imagine you've been a dragon for who knows how long, covered in scales of iron, and suddenly this dude manages to stab you five times like it's nothing. Heck, Laios just stabbed her in the foot with a normal sword. This dragon must be fearing for it's life like crazy.

Obligatory Whoa Hey!

An important image.

No you dummy. This is standard dungeon procedure. There's a reason healers like Holm and Falin wear those silly robes. So that they get priority resurrections.

Hold up a sec. My drama senses are tingling.

I am genuinely curious what this insult was in the original Japenese, if only because I can't see that coming from either of them.

You know, when I first read Dungeon Meshi, I kinda glossed over the secondary cast a lot. Hard not to when you have my attention span, and like two dozen characters. I didn't even notice the Asebi stuff.

I know people dunk on Toshiro a lot, but I really have to question his relationship with his retainers if a simple thank you and sorry elicits this sort of reaction. Honestly, I mostly get the impression that his dad isn't great, and Maizuru is too loyal to do anything about it.

I also have to wonder why he left Asebi behind. Did he just not want to bother? Or is he rethinking his whole relationship with his retainers, and is offhandedly giving her her freedom?

Like brother like sister.

Image limit reached! I'll be back in a bit. Need to get some meshi!

[konigsberg]

(This is like 5% ask and 95% compliments) I have to extend all my love and thanks over Midnight Ocean! I’m on my third re-read of the story (and I’m severly dyslexic, so reading the entire thing multiple times is the most I’ve read probably in my entire life!). You are so beyond dedicated to your writing and I can’t thank you enough for it <3 Your story keeps me on my toes, all of the characters are SO rich and nuanced, all of their relationships, conflicts and imperfections truly shine in your work. I’m affraid your work has spoiled me for fanfiction, i keep thinking ”but damn… this isn’t Midnight Ocean levels” and then go and continue my re-reads. Once it’s complited, by the gods, I’m going bind it by hand in leather.

I’m beyond excited for the upcoming events when ever they happen: Hades finding out about Zagreus, whatever Persephone has got cooking up, their first true ”I love you” and of course the removing of the pall. (And events yet unexpected by me!!)

What is something you’ve been waiting to write and see readers react to? (As much as you can tell obviously)

Can’t begin to describe how much of a joy MO has been and continues to be. I look forwards to updates like the rising of the moon. Genuinely from the bottom of my heart, thank you <3

Thank you so much! It always means a lot to hear someone enjoys MO enough to reread it, let alone want to bind it. It's brought me a lot of joy to write, and getting to share that and know others appreciate it is really amazing.

I'll go ahead and answer the rest under the cut to avoid spoiling things.

And of course, as I was typing the spoilers turned... sort of major so lol beware?

I've gotten to a few parts I've been waiting and waiting to write recently, but they won't be posted to Ao3 yet (Moros Silly Boy Behavior, Alcmene's Return, Nemesis' Box Reveal, the joys of using Eros' book). But the really, really big ones I haven't gotten to yet are of course things that readers are most excited for, too, like the Hades meeting, Olympus' reaction, things like that.

A few I don't think people mention a lot, though: Theseus™, (maybe big spoilers for people who aren't familiar with mythology, though I think this has been mentioned in the notes) Theseus' whole deal with both Medea and Heracles (and how that then is meant to foil Thanatos' dynamics), Heracles for that matter, also...... Ares' return to the story... the DILF energy we need in these trying times.

Hades and Thanatos' relationship is one I've thought about so much over the years, and I'm so excited to finally get to put that on the page and see people respond. Demeter is also such an important figure in all of this that often gets ignored both by me and others, and she'll be very, very fun to finally include. The continuation of Hermes' background arc stuff...

Something only me and like two random people are invested in: the continuation of Moros bullshit. My poor little meow meow, my perfect uwu foil to my other perfect uwu baby (Thanatos). My silly rabbit, here to cause problems and help Zagreus establish more independence if entirely unintentionally etc. And Moros' goofy little romance arc, that will be fun.

Also, the actual proper Cupid & Psyche Moment, y'know, the big part of the narrative. Sometimes people ask if it will happen, really expressing that they can't see it as even a possibility in the MO narrative, or others express total unfamiliarity with the plot of the myth so they don't know about The Moment at all (part of why I'm reluctant to clarify What Moment lmao)... I'm eager for that, though I know it will result in people being very, very angry at me.

I don't think this is tooooo spoilery because I think it's been made clear it will happen, but Eros showing up will be so fun, not to mention Psyche! Actual Psyche lol! We can't have a whole narrative about soul porn without the OG soulfuckers.

Oh, Hypnos too. And Pasithea who has unwittingly had her marriage present (the Eros book) lowkey highjacked.

Sorry this mostly turned into incoherent babbling. I hope it's both not too spoilery, but also answers the question lol? Either way, thank you again!

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Dragon Reborn! Chapter 9: Wolf Dreams

Spoiler alert: Just because he's a good boi does not mean he won't fuck you up if he has to. Also spoiler alert: This post and every other post in this series spoils everything for Wheel of Time ever (even the future, like the second TV show they'll make in the 2050s) so if you don't want to know about those spoilers, don't keep reading!

This chapter has the Dragon's Fang symbol because of Rand's Darkhound solutions.

“I have been expecting you for some time,” she said. “I have not spoken about this before because it was obvious you did not want me to. After tonight, though. . . . What do you want to know?”

Note that this is how she STARTS the conversation, before Perrin even gets a word in. Moiraine has been really trying to respect Perrin's boundaries here (in part because if she trampled over them it would only make him ignore what she has to say) and while of course implict statements from Aes Sedai should never be trusted, it is important that she closes with a statement that both affirms Perrin's agency and all but promises to be helpful. If only she were this good with dealing with Rand.

She said that some who talked to wolves lost themselves, that what was human was swallowed up by wolf. Some. Whether she meant one in ten, or five, or nine, I do not know.

Moiraine is usually pretty good about remembering the whole memory fades spiel, so I think the fact that she's emphasizing the exact words of an unreliable source shows that she very much wants it to be a trustworthy document that shows that Perrin still has a shot. She likes the boy even if he's been annoying lately.

“From what I have read of Aes Sedai who had the Talent called Dreaming, Dreamers sometimes spoke of encountering wolves in their dreams, even wolves that acted as guides. I fear you must learn to be as careful sleeping as waking, if you intend to avoid wolves. If that is what you decide to do.”

This of course must be where the idea of spirit animals and such comes from, more or less. Wolfbrothers, their equivalents if there are any, and the Dreamers who got a taste of the guidance and assumed they were getting the whole thing.

“If I can keep you whole, I will. I promise you that, Perrin. But I will not endanger the struggle against the Shadow. You must know that, too.”

As cold as this is, it's actually a bit of a kindness too: she could obfuscate and let him think he's safe with her entirely, but she won't do that even though it would be better for their relationship on the whole. I suppose in a way, dealing with Perrin on this little stint is how Moiraine learns to deal with Rand better in the next couple books.

“It would not aid you, Perrin. The shielding is for dreams from the outside. The danger in your dreams is within you.”

Are there shields that the One Power can wield to keep Dreamers and similar people from dreaming? I suppose Aran'gar did SOMETHING with the power to fuck with Egwene later, but it's understandable that Moiraine wouldn't know of any equivalent ability when the Tower has no real use for it.

“Hopper?” he said wonderingly. He was sure he knew the wolf whose thoughts he heard. Hopper, who had envied the eagles. “Hopper is dead!”

Speaking of spirit animals, it's time for Perrin to meet his!

A man stood there, blinking at him uncertainly, in strangely cut coat and breeches, the coat flaring over his hips as the bottoms of the breeches flared over his boots. Both were bright yellow, and his boots were only a little paler.

Okay, so this is... Actually I have no idea who this is. Presumably he's an actual nobleman, but from where I couldn't possibly guess except "not Seanchan" since he speaks with a quick accent and "not Illian" since he doesn't be all "do be" about stuff. Does anyone know?

Frozen, Perrin stared at the bloody shape wearing the man’s clothes, screaming and thrashing on the floor. Unbidden, his eyes rose to the pale thing like an empty sack that dangled from the ceiling. Part of it was already absorbed by the black strip, but he had no trouble recognizing a human skin, apparently whole and unbroken.

Well, either this dude was having one hell of a dream on his own (bad luck and not the kind that Perrin proximity causes), T'A'R has an ecosystem we never learn about (unlikely), or dude was just ganked by someone in the Shadow, so I guess that narrows it down a teensy bit.

Even as he recognized her, she lifted her head and looked straight at him. Her eyes widened, in shock, in anger. “You! What are you doing here? How did you—? You’ll ruin things you could not begin to imagine!”

Frankly, even "well obviously Lanfear killed that dude" raises further questions about motive. Perhaps this guy was a Darkfriend somewhere on Rand's path, and by taking him out she's protecting Rand in a plausibly deniable way?

Perrin turned, and Hopper was there, a big gray wolf, grizzled and scarred. “You are dead. I saw you die. I felt you die!”

Perrin buddy, you know you're sleeping. This is like the least remarkable part of your current dream.

The water turned pink as he washed his face. Pink with the blood of that strangely dressed man.

T'A'R is actually really awful when you stop to think about it for a few seconds.

Rand huddled under the trees in the night, watching the heavy-shouldered black dog come nearer his hiding place.

Rand being active at night speaks again to the sleep deprivation he's got to be suffering under. Even when he was on that hellish run with Mat he was able to claim downtime, but not here.

The Power filled him. Something leaped from his outstretched hands; he was not sure what it was. A bar of white light, solid as steel. Liquid fire. For an instant, in the middle of that something, the dog seemed to become transparent, and then it was gone.

Hooray for balefire: cleaner and more effective than nukes! Note Jordan's skill by introducing Rand discovering it randomly in a battle that has no real narrative tension so it's not a cheap victory but still does set things up for Moiraine to use it at the climax of this book to great effect.

He wanted to lie down and die. He wanted Nynaeve to give him some of her medicines, or Moiraine to Heal him, or. . . . Something, anything, to stop the sick feeling that was suffocating him.

When the chips are down, the two ladies Rand always misses most are Nynaeve and Moiraine. Foreshadowing!

Pushing himself away from the tree, he waded a shallow, icy stream, then settled into a steady trot eastward. Cold water filled his boots, and his side hurt, but he ignored both.

So many of Rand's bad habits really start up in these early books, under circumstances where he doesn't have any choice but to embrace them.

Next time: Egwene is ready to have PTSD episodes and chew bubblegum, but bubblegum hasn't been invented yet!

[fateinthestars]

Must be time to do another SCM Ramble/ Review post and to go with yesterday's two White Day special story sets here is the other one! This post contains:

White Day Treats for a Crimson-Lipped Goddess

The stories in this are set after the Valentine's Day 'To the Victor Goes the Spoils' stories and as such this set features stories for: Leon, Scorpio, Huedhaut, Zyglavis, and Aigonorus.

Spoilers under cut. Oh and maybe some gushing, cos Zyglavis' and Aigo's stories in this set? 🥰 (Hue? 🤦‍♀️ )

Leon: Flowers of Love Bloom in the Sky

I can't quite believe that from his POV chapter in this that it was technically Ichthys who planted the idea in his head to actually use his powers for once...

Anyway, Leon is actually internally very contemplative and trying his hardest to understand why human holidays matter so much. His internal monologue even admits he's just learnt something from Partheno of all people. Leon is still learning and growing and once again this story shows why it's so important to have these stories from their point of view.

One thing that did stand out to me when re-reading this is that Karno's gift in this is technically the same thing as he uses in the Victor goes the Spoils - presumably untampered with this time. No-one brings that up though... I wonder whether that's just Karno deliberately reminding Leon about Valentine's to make sure things run smoothly?

As to Leon's eventual gift in this one? It's really touching and thoughtful and calls back very nicely to Leon's main story.

Scorpio: Your Colour

Oh sweet Scorpio. Your vague questions in order to be really touching always seem to end up backfiring somewhat and you don't think before snapping if something unexpected throws a spanner in the works. Though, MC? I know you forgot it was White Day the following day but when the others mentioned that, could you maybe not have... yanno... put two and two together that maybe just maybe that was why Scorpio was suddenly interested in your makeup?

Oh gosh the stuff Scorpio blurts out to the sales assistant 🥰 I know you Scorpio you are not the angry irritated God you project there's far more to you than that. Also, talking about his POV chapter he actually makes it clear here that he's decided him and cooking don't mix. So I guess in my cooking post that moves him down a little (only a very little mind, his stuff you could still eat...)

Huedhaut: Tones of your Future

Oh Hue! Hue please!!!!!!!

I am going to forbid you from putting your forehead against MC's at this rate.

I mean honestly, Hue: You see she's crying in the future but you don't know why, or what, or whether it was definitely even you who caused it (though you seem to think it was)? Yeah you letting it slip to the other Gods and their comments probably didn't help your brooding but your conclusion as to what to do was to stay away from MC for a while? HUE!

No wonder Teo scolded him later. Yes it's Teo that gets Hue out of this funk, his actions seemingly shocking both Hue and later MC when Hue tells her who snapped him out of it.

Hue's actual White Day gift is really moving and no wonder MC cried. This story probably shows more than most why Hue's divine power is not one you want. He must be so stressed all the time.

Though... Hue? As it turns out that you ended where your vision was and it actually wasn't a bad thing at all, you could have actually had your White Day date as well.

Thank you for pushing him to go see MC, Teo. Though I think the wish he'd received also made him realise what an idiot he was being.

Hue you really are a worrier aren't you? In an attempt to make sure you kept MC happy and avoided anything potentially negative you actually made things worse.

Oh Hue... *hugs him tightly*

Zyglavis: Love Cannot be Planned

A massive change in tone here and oh my word this story. This story! It's not just one of my favourite Zyglavis stories, it's one of my favourite stories featuring Ichthys that isn't in his own route.

Ichthys hasn't forgotten about the Valentine's Day Punishment and now he's come up with A PLAN. A plan that all the others are trying to tell him not to be foolhardy about and don't even try it but nope Ichthys here is on a mission!

That mission appears to MC & Zig to be a battle of who can give the best White Day present but no... this is actually Ichthys trying to humiliate Zyglavis in front of all the others.

I can't help but feel having read this story that Ichthys is a million years too early to be able to get the upper hand on Zyglavis. Of course Zyglavis is so suspicious about what is actually going on he looks further into things.

Everything Zyglavis does here is wonderful. And even he admits because of Ichthys' ridiculous present battle he thought more about what to give MC and is happier with what he chose as a result.

Everything about this is PERFECT. This... this is everything I need from an SCM story. 🥰

Aigonorus: A Sweet Trap

Oh Aigo, I really do adore him. I wish Aigo had more content because he's so sweet, loveable, cuddly, and determined once he gets a clear idea in mind.

I love how once MC has explained White Day so he understands, he immediately drags her off to get her to pick something out. Aigo is so impulsive and impatient sometimes but in a really sweet way.

I'm also gonna have to include this screenshot from his point of view story when he's first trying to make what he finally decides on giving MC as a White Day gift because 🤣 :-

If anything shows how pure and kind hearted he is though is what happens after he sees an article saying that his gift has negative connotations and thus refuses to give it to MC even though he spent many days perfecting it...

Cos what he was gonna give her was what she has given him in the past and here he never once thinks that what she gave him could have been negative in any way. And yet he still worries that his would be taken negatively.

Aigo really is one of the kindest, sweetest, most caring of all the Zodiac Gods. And I hope in the routes other than his own he finds love from somewhere and realises that that Goddess was just a jerk. Aigo deserves the world.

Ranking attempt then? Oh gosh...

Zyglavis

Aigonorus

Scorpio

Leon

Huedhaut

[synnefo-nefeli]

I really love the scene in Heard Your Heart Beating when Apollo and Klavier sleep after drinking and Apollo wakes up at some point and looks at Klavier and thinks about him and Daryan and Kristoph. Idk I really like the vibe of it and also Apollo is really fond of him and you can see it lol

This is for the DVD Commentary Author Ask if there is a scene from any of my works you’d like to see a DVD commentary on, send me an ask!

Yesss this one of my favorite scenes so far in HYHB.

So there are two things going on in this scene- one is a payoff moment when Apollo figures out the significance of Valentine's Day is to Klavier, and the other is the emergence of the theme of " Safety". This chapter also functions as a transition point from Klavier and Apollo moving from work colleagues into a closer friendship. There is still a giddy nervousness at the beginning of this chapter that is usually associated with moving to the next step.

I wanted to express that almost frenetic nervous energy when inviting a new friend/date/etc into your personal space for the first time. And Apollo, despite him stating repeatedly that the hangout is platonic/feeling guilty about appearing to move on from Clay /trying to keep that boundary that’s existed so far between them, allows that boundary to fall.

By the end of the chapter there is now a comfort and deeper trust between them so that their relationship can continue to develope organically over the next few chapters without Apollo being constantly flustered every time Klavier teases him or there still being awkward feelings between them. They’re still in the “getting to know you” phase of their friendship but they’re at the point where coffee breaks and after work drinks no longer suffice. They now want to hang out as much as possible.

More under the cut so I don't spoil people for this chapter

Before I get back into the Safety theme I want to reiterate the meaning of the story’s title. It comes from Florence + The Machine’s song, “Cosmic Love”. The lyric goes:

“ I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too-So I stayed in the darkness with you”

This lyric aside from Comic Love being a big mood inspiration for the story, this lyric refers to Klavier and Apollo finding eachother after going through a really shitty and traumatic year and a half.

They recognize that the other is a source of some comfort as each of them understand what the other is going through a little bit better than the others around them.

This scene is the first confirmation to the reader that yes, Klavier is actively seeking out Apollo for comfort.

So far in this story we know *something* is bothering Klavier- he’s actively avoiding someone and he’s been kinda timid in reaching out to people without having his glimmerous persona constantly on. In the following chapter, Klavier mentions that he’s been asked to be in Edgeworth’s wedding.

Apollo attempts to commiserate with Klavier about this as Phoenix has just asked Apollo to be his best man.

Klavier tells Apollo that Apollo shouldn’t be shocked about being asked to be Phoenix’s best man- considering how much Apollo means to Phoenix. He has to point out to Apollo how much Apollo means to Phoenix and Trucy as well as how Apollo impacted Klavier’s choice to return to the legal world full-time.

And while Klavier is honored that he’s been asked by Edgeworth, his being asked is more of a surprise than Apollo being included in the Wright-Edgeworth nuptials. There is no way that Apollo wouldn’t be included after all he’s done for Phoenix and Trucy and how close he is to the WAA. Klavier had a different dynamic with Edgeworth. Part of this because, well, it’s Edgeworth. But Edgeworth has formed close bonds with Gumshoe and Kay...but Edgeworth just spent the last few years chasing down a Phantom Criminal in order to save Simon from Death Row. So Miles and Simon had a closer dynamic.

Klavier unfortunately comes with a lot of baggage-most of it being from things beyond his control. It was his debut that resulted in Miles’ partner from being disbarred and disgraced. There is everything with Kristoph. Combine the canon stuff along with this story establishing that the Gavins and the von Karmas have a bit of a family feud going on, it’s no wonder why Klavier admits to feeling that he’s still needs to figure out if and where he belongs.

He’s always looked up to Phoenix and Miles and wants to spend his career under them, but he thinks he needs more chances to prove himself to rebuild trust.

Of course- the obvious signal Klavier is missing, is “Hi, the Chief Prosecutor has asked you to be in his wedding party. If the grooms didn’t like you, you wouldn’t have been invited let alone asked to be IN THEIR WEDDING PARTY” ...and he misses it right after he’s finished telling Apollo, “how could youthink you’d wouldn’t be included, Herr Forehead. Jeeze.”

Like I said- Klavier is shit at taking his own advice. I’m not being mean to Klavier, but because Klavier is anxious about trusting people and letting people in, he prefers to do things on his own terms and under his control just in case he needs to get out if he gets rejected.

And even though he reached out to Apollo first with his condolences for Clay’s death he didn’t expect anything more than a thank you note, but Apollo not only acknowledging him, hunting him down to his apartment and even offering his company to Klavier, was a happy surprise to someone who has been very lonely.

He’s been wanting to get to know Apollo but he’s felt awkward due to the fallout with Kristoph and the continuing dark age of the law of which he was apart of the two major catalysts.

Apollo over the last few weeks is appearing to be a safe space for Klavier.

However Klavier wants more confirmation and a chance to suss things out (re: Kristoph). So when Apollo says he doesn’t have plans and was oblivious about Valentine’s, Klavier pounces on it. He spent Valentine’s alone the previous year and it spiraled his depression so he was not in the mood to again this year.

This scene was meant to be that very comfortable state between two people with a budding friendship. Once you get drunk with someone while having deep conversations, it tends to push you more into the friendship category.

It was also important to get some of the serious topics out rather than dragging it out. Having this quiet evening is something they both needed, and it allowed them be vulnerable. Especially since Apollo was already upset from the phone conversation he had with the Terrans earlier in the chapter.

Apollo needed a night in with the only person who has never treated him with kid gloves, even before Clay’s death. And Klavier needed a night in with the only person who has never put him on a pedestal.

When discussing Kristoph, it was important to remind the reader that Kristoph is a human being- it’s what makes him a compelling villain and why his betrayal of both Apollo and Klavier’s trust strikes an emotional chord with the player. Before the events of AA4, there was a time where Kristoph gained Apollo and Klavier’s love and loyalty, where he was a normal boss, a dog-dad, a good older brother. There were good times and happy memories- which is why when Kristoph is exposed, Apollo and Klavier are disillusioned- Klavier moreso. But another reason as to why Klavier finds Apollo to be a safe haven, is because, Apollo knew the Kristoph Klavier loved. They both wanted Kristoph to be proud of them. They respected him and wanted Kristoph to be proud of and acknowledge them.

Klavier has been wanting to talk to Apollo about this for awhile and I believe so has Apollo. Apollo is never going to say to Phoenix, “hey Mr. Wright, Mr. Gavin was a good mentor to me too-“ it wouldn’t go over well, even though Kristoph was a good mentor to Apollo-his only flaw was thinking that Apollo would happily be a lickspittle and easy to manipulate. So when Apollo gives Klavier that reassurance that Klavier can talk about those happier moments of his life involving Kristoph, Klavier sees that Apollo wants to take that awkward stress away from Klavier but also Apollo wants to get to know Klavier better.

Klavier is so used to people researching his celebrity persona and forming opinions based off of his former lifestyle, that it’s refreshing to find someone who wants to organically grow their relationship without preconceptions.

Yes, Apollo initially wrote Klavier off as being a fop and glimmorous- but those thoughts were due to Apollo being self-conscious. By the end of Turnabout Serenade, Apollo admits that Klavier is pretty cool and in DD, Apollo remarks that Klavier is different than most prosecutors and how dedicated Klavier is towards his job.

It was also important in this chapter to allow for Apollo to discuss Clay and his relationship with Clay’s family. You’ll notice in this story that Klavier is the only person Apollo will share anecdotes about Clay with and freely grieve about Clay. It’s not that Apollo hides it from The WAA, he does share some things with them, but right now, Klavier is the only close peer Apollo has, and this comfortable vulnerability they’ve trusted eachother with allows Apollo to express himself with out him fearing that he’ll appear fragile. He’s tired of people walking on eggshells around him, but Klavier hasn’t and never will.

Likewise, I made sure to have Klavier fish for information about Apollo. Yes they’ve been hanging out for weeks at this point and worked a case together (sorta), but those coffee dates have been more talking about work, general topics like Trucy’s shows, etc.. they’ve been light in topic. So dinner and drinks at someone’s home gives way to deeper conversations about value-systems, love lives (even though Apollo isn’t entirely truthful lol), etc. And it works really well to the point they get more comfortable than either had anticipated.

I loved writing the discussion about how Klavier will never ever do a performance of “The Guitar’s Serenade” where he’s singing Lamiror’s words. It was such an organic moment while writing too- Klavier just started talking about how he’s feel like an imposter to sing those words because he’s never experienced a lost true love...and he hopes that he’ll never know what that feels like. It’s an honest moment that puts to rest any assumptions Apollo may have had about if Klavier is just a flirt not to be taken seriously in the romance department.

Hearing that Klavier is pretty private in his love life, isn’t a player, and has pretty much admitted that he tries to date with the intention of marriage, shows Apollo more into Klavier’s serious and introspective side. A side that Apollo’s only known in the context of their work. It makes Apollo realize that Klavier is human and is wanting of things like love and companionship. More importantly, Klavier will take those things seriously should he be so lucky to receive them.

There is also a bit of humor here- because c’mon Klavier lives to be playful when he can, and he wants to know more about Apollo’s views on love and relationships. Apollo is adorably flustered because he doesn’t want to admit he’s still a virgin. But in this portion I wanted to start laying down the idea that Apollo is demisexual. Part of the reason he hasn’t fallen in love or felt desire is because he’s fullfilled by his relationships with those he holds dear, but also no one has been interested in Apollo and stayed long enough to bond with Apollo in a way for desire to to bloom.

Because they’re starting as friends-particularly a friendship made as adults- this is going to give Apollo that chance to realize he wants more from Klavier. And for Klavier who wants a true friend and companion after the betrayals he’s suffered, Apollo is a perfect match for him.

The most important thing for me while writing this scene was to show Apollo and the reader that Klavier is suffering and grieving just like Apollo is, (and to establish early that Klavier is super bad at taking any of his own advice) and for Apollo to start drawing parallels to himself while wanting to dig into what’s going on with Klavier.

Apollo is interesting because he’s more likely to say what’s exactly bothering him but fails to realize his feelings about others.

Whereas Klavier is very aware of his own feelings but will hide what’s bothering him from others.

They’re also two people who now need reassurance about where they fit in and how others consider them in their lives.

And if you were wondering: yes, at this point Klavier does have a crush on Apollo haha. So getting invited to sleep over was a bonus for him...despite it being labeled as a “platonic sleep-over”, because at this point in the story, it is a platonic sleep over. Klavier is good at reading the room (even when drunk) to know that Apollo isn’t making a move on him and neither should he.

The comment Klavier makes about Apollo’s bed’s size is a homage to my favorite BL manga, FAKE. In the manga, Ryo who has just started as a detective at a new precinct and met his new partner, Dee- has Dee over that same day for dinner and Dee winds up staying the night. Ryo has a large bed for a single guy (according to Dee) and Dee makes a comment “that’s a big bed you got there, do you have a girl to go with it?” because Dee the little shit that he is, is trying to see if Ryo is single (and yes, they sleep in the same bed that night. How is that fir team building haha...it’s totally platonic. It takes Dee 7 volumes to get that. Please read it it’s a classic). Klavier is totally asking to get a rise out of Apollo because Klavier suspects that Apollo exaggerated his experience because Apollo’s pivot was not smooth at all XD.

Finally the last aspect of showing safety is them sleeping in the same bed together. We know from descriptions of Klavier that Klavier has not been sleeping well. Something is keeping him up at night and his mood has been less glimmerous. When he arrives at Apollo’s that evening; he wasn’t able to really conceal the dark circles under his eyes. Apollo has been missing Clay, who would usually sleep over and share the bed with Apollo,’s company.

Sleeping next to someone, especially falling into a deep sleep in a bed that is not your own, is a sign of trust. Yes they were sleepy from the alcohol, but they went to bed together easily, slept for hours, had brunch, and went BACK to sleep. Neither minded, nor did Klavier feel that he should leave after they ate. They are comfortable and too hungover to even think about anything except getting more sleep XD Also it’s not as if Klavier is in a hurry to get home when he eventually saw the text from his land lady.

Sorry if that was a rambling response but I have a lot of love for this scene in particularly and I’m so excited to give a behind the scenes look at it!

[drawmealama]

Painting Tutorial

Disclaimers !!! (important)

I’m not an expert or teacher.

There is an infinite number of ways you can paint. THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO PAINT! This is how I do it / how I was taught to do it.

I’m doing this (during mars 2020) because I’m getting restless during the global quarantine. If you want to paint but you don’t have the supplies: PLEASE don’t go out to buy supplies. This is not a necessity so please stay safe. Also, if you’re considering buying art supplies on the internet ask yourself if it is necessary (like if you have an assignment/it’s part of your job/...) and try to minimize the strain on delivery services for non-essential supplies.

This post will still exist in a few months. I’ll even self-reblog it at the end of the lockdown so that, if you’re still interested, it’ll be here.

I’m going to make fan art for @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels​ (madsthenerdygirl on AO3) and her witcher fic “Even Steel Blades Need Fire” that you can find here.

I’m trying to make a non-spoiler piece, but I’ll talk about the fic (so spoilers!) during the process. If you have not read her fic and you don’t want to get spoiled, go read it before you continue.

I started painting two years ago, and I remember vividly my struggles in the beginning. Painting can be confusing, and I am going to assume that people with no experience are going to read this.

I’ll be explaining the painting process in-depth so LONG POST (I guess) and stay tuned for updates !!! (yay)

I think that’s all. 

Let’s start !!!

Here we have it all! All the supplies (and some) I use when painting with acrylic paint.

First, note that you don’t need all these supplies to paint. Most of the time I do it with less, but this is a tutorial so...

1. Paper

Good news, you don't need to have a canvas to paint !!! You can just use paper (cool right?!).

Any size is ok, but I prefer to paint big (this paper here is on the smaller side. I usually paint on “grand aigle” paper or “double grand aigle”. Which translates to “great (?) eagle”. Look it up!). 

Here I’ll be using a 65x50 cm piece (called “format raisin”/ “grapes format”...)

I advise to use 200gms (or 200g/m2) or more but 180g can work too.

225gms and 250gms are my personal favourites.

2. Something to protect the surface you are painting on. 

when I started painting I was super messy. I had no control over the paintbrush/the paint/etc..

I recommend using something (cardboard, plastic bag (not the best...), or newspaper) to cover up where you're going to paint. 

The smaller your paper, the more likely you are to spill paint next to it.

On that note, when I started painting I used to wear a chemistry lab coat to protect my clothes. 

It can save you when you least expect it (read: the whole bottle of paint falls and explodes everywhere). Now I stopped doing that (bad) but I don't really care about my clothes and also painting in your underwear when you're alone is fun.

remember to remove any jewellery (RINGS!!!) (you don't want to scrape off dried paint of off jewellery).

Don't wear gloves. (acrylic paint washes of with soap and hot water). Plus gloves are going to make your hands sweat and I don't recommend wearing them for long periods.

have a towel nearby or something at your disposal (but only use old stuff. you will probably never get all the paint stains off. I use my old lab coat.)

where you are painting is important too. When I started painting I liked using an easel. If you don't have an easel, that's ok. I don't have access to one during this quarantine business, so I'm doing sans-easel.

Also, I prefer to paint on the ground or on a table (depending on the cleanness of the ground and the paper size. if it's too big for one table, I sometimes use two side by side but it's not really practical).

Also with bigger papers, an easel can be impractical = you can't reach the top/bottom easily and you tire very easily.

Here is something my teacher used to tell us: 

“Don't sit on a chair.”

Explanation: when using a chair your paintings tend to look "tired" or "sloppy" (Idk how to describe it, but for better results try to stand up)

however if you are doing:

a big piece

painting for a long time

or you have medical issues that make standing up for a long time painful

 then I recommend either having a chair nearby to take "sitting" breaks or painting on the ground.

In all cases take breaks! 

Second advice from my teacher: 

“Don't listen to music while you paint.”

Explanation: when painting you want to avoid "coloring" with brushstrokes that go left-right and up-down all the time. when listening to your music you will unintentionally start following the rhythm of the music with your strokes and making them repetitive. Similarly, I noted that I'm slower when listening to music because I tend to focus more on the music than on what I am painting.

BUT, I know someone who makes these beautiful, giant paintings on bedsheets, which take like weeks to complete and with lots of details. And guess what? Not only does she sit down but she also listens to music while doing so.

In conclusion, it's up to you. but if you struggle painting: try sitting down/standing up/ taking more breaks/ turn on/off your music...

3. Paint pallets

Ok, so here again it's up to personal preferences.

you can use a

plastic/wood/glass pallet (that you re-use every time)

or you can use

disposable paint pallets/a piece of cardboard/paper plates (that you reuse a couple of times before throwing away).

At first, I started to use plastic pallets but I kept trying to clean them at the end of each lesson and I was losing so much time... (note: I found that bigger pallets with no little "holes" work the best).

Problems:

If the paint is dry it’s super difficult to get it off without soap or other types of cleaning products.

You use a lot of water to clean it and paint gets in the sewers.

An alternative is disposable pallets like on the picture (or cardboard/paper plates). you don't have to clean them, it's super cheap/free and a lot lighter.

Problems:

you can't use them forever and will need to throw it away (or recycle them into weird paintings).

If you use straight-up cardboard and try to mix a lot of water in your paint it will make a mess and destroy your pallet.

4. Water dish

Anything that holds water and that you don't use to drink is ok. Remember you will probably never get all the paint off.

5. Paintbrushes

Okay, this is the weird part where I tell you that "paintbrush" is "pinceau" in french and that the word comes from the Latin  "penicillum" which means "small tail" or "penis". Also, there's this text (of which I don't remember de name or the author) but it discusses the implication of artist's preferences for certain types of paintbrushes when you compare them to penises and it's silly and fun but now I need to talk about the paintbrushes I use and I don't want to make this awkward, so just forget what I just wrote there.

Let's see. I grouped and ranked each brush from A to G depending on how much I use them.

A) My personal favourites, that I use all the time: they are mostly round brushes.

There's a big one that's actually to paint walls but works well when I need to cover big surfaces

then a few tiny/flats with rounded tips for detail (called ”Filbert”)

a couple of medium/rounds 

and this flat squared tipped (called “Flat” or “Bright”) for when I need to get clean edges.

B) Medium/flat and square tipped brushes I use the same way as the big round.

C) These ones I use when the others are already in use and I need a clean brush. the problem is that some of them have these synthetic bristles that are super bendy and I don't like it.

D) Some more small brushes for detail. I sometimes use them for watercolour because they can hold a lot of water. See how they have a shorter handle? Long handle = for easel painting (because then you can get further away). The small handle = not for easel painting.

To be honest I don't really care. it's not super important (but I prefer the long handle ones).

E) These are really tiny small round brushes that can be used for even smaller detail (but I don't use them a lot).

F) I never use this paintbrush. the bristles are super soft and fur-like and see how they're pointing outward instead of inwards, and don’t make a point? yeah, I can't do anything with that.

G) Please, PLEASE, for the love of god do not use these types of brushes with acrylic paint. they're for ink painting and calligraphy and other stuff. They're super expensive and a pain to wash. I've seen people use them with paint and I don't judge but personally, it just feels wrong to use them with paint.

General tips to keep in mind when buying brushes:

Size matters.

The bigger the better.

Hog bristles = texture + (in general) better quality + stiffer

Synthetic or nylon bristles = cheaper + bendier + smoother finish.

If you are getting a pack of brushes try to look for one with more of the bigger brushes than smaller ones.

You don't need every size but you need a couple under 10, one or two around 20 and one 30 or 40.

Brushes are expensive. Like, think book price range (where I buy them they are around 15 euro or around 20 euro).

Any free brush is a good brush.

Handles don't matter.

General tips to care for brushes:

Wash your brushes.

Use soap (dish soap is fine). I've seen people use shampoo and I'm sure it works but for acrylic paint (= water-based paint), it's a bit overkill.

Let them dry laying flat.

Don't let them sit too long in the water. you don't want to weaken the wood or glue or metal that is holding everything together.

Handles don't matter (just keep a picture or a reference of your brush before it gets covered in paint and you can't tell what size/brand it is anymore).

6. Paint

The fun part!

Here are the colours I am going to use (I'm not using all the colours i have and I tried to make a varied but coherent pallet).

(from top to bottom, left to right.)

Titanium White (neo acryl, Gerstaecker, 102)

Black (neo acryl, Gerstaecker,704)

Prussian blue phthalo (acrylic standard series, Amsterdam all acrylics, 566)

Quinacridone pink (I love art, Gerstaecker, 350)

Reflex rose (I love art acrylic, Gerstaecker, 384)

Primary yellow (acrylic standard series, Amsterdam all acrylics, 275)

Raw sienna (acrylic standard series, Amsterdam all acrylics, 234)

Burnt sienna (acrylic standard series, Amsterdam all acrylics, 411)

Burnt umber (acrylic standard series, Amsterdam all acrylics, 409)

Vandyke brown (acrylic standard series, Amsterdam all acrylics, 403)

Carmine (acrylic standard series, Amsterdam all acrylics, 318)

General tips to keep in mind when buying paint, or how to choose colours when you don't want to spend too much on paint:

You CAN NOT paint with only primary colours !!!

NO magenta (it's like using 100% red. Also paint is pigment not light so magenta does not equal red)

Get more white and black paint (you can start with small quantities but these two getts used the most. I've also seen people buy "handyman paint" in white to get large quantities for cheaper but I never tried before.)

Pick darker colours over lighter ones

and pick lighter colours over mid-tones (I will go over this later when I start painting)

If you're like me and don't have tons of money to spend on paint, avoid paints with double colour names like "greenish-yellow", get yellow and get green and get white and then mix! (so you have green, yellow and everything in-between...)

When in doubt pick colours with:

fancy names (royal blue, ultramarine blue,...)

natural pigments names (cobalt, carmine, sienna,..)

well known names (TITANIUM white !!!)

artist’s names (Vandyke brown, Klein blue, ...)

Exciting and unusual names (what intrigues you? If you go: wtf is "Quinacridone pink?", "Phthalocyanine emerald"  "Vermillon?", then pick that.)

I know I said don't use primary colours but you NEED to mix colours. Go crazy! (note: straight from the tube colour can be used but in moderation or with good reasons..)

BUT You NEED brown, don't try to make it yourself

you DON'T need purple (I'll explain later)

(fluorescent colours can give you unexpected results when mixing. (I bought the fluorescent pink thinking I'd only use a small amount but now I'm kinda running out. And I don't even like pink that much...))

7. Something to pin down your paper

You only need this if you are going to work on something not horizontal.

Any type of pins (that can support the weight of the paper)

repositionable tape

or any kind of masking tape (that does not ruin paper when removed)

8. references

(The references on the picture are from another project.)

If you're not painting from life I recommend printing out your references over just having it on your phone or laptop or any screen, because

when you print them you are using pigment 

and then when you are painting you're looking at pigment and not pixels/light.

So it's actually easier to SEE the colors you have to use (and it can improve your results when painting with PIGMENT).

Also, try to print them as big as you can.

Right now I don't have a printer with me and I can't, like, get it printed or anything (not only because of the lockdown but because this is witcher stuff I'm going to make so I'm going to need reference photos of the actors and everything... yeah, no).

I'm just going to have my refs on a screen...

Hope some of you made it this far. If so, congratulation!

(I tried to make this as clear as possible (English is not my first language and I struggle with writing)).

[velociraptoraddict]

Part 3 Invader Zim Fanfiction Review

Part 1 and Part 2 can be found here!

Before we get started, as always, please let me know if any of the links provided don’t work, so I can correct them as soon as possible! I also welcome recommendations! So if there’s a fic that you don’t see on any of the lists, that you think I (or anyone else) should check out, please share! This Hyper-fixation Train is not slowing down and I need enablers 8D

And as a friendly reminder, anything crossed out is considered a Spoiler so read those parts at your own risks! And on to the Review!

Maneem  Mekrelmar Danem Sempadinum Scarazial and Zaygam by @hecallsmehischild

This is a six part saga totaling 242,514 words. Originally posted on Fanfiction.net on an unknown date in the early 2000s and re-uploaded to Ao3 on 05-26-2016 and marked complete on 08-18-2016 (though the total write time was estimated 7 years). There are a total of 174 chapters.

I’m going to do something a little different with this one because it is a six part series. I’m mostly going to review it as one fic with a quick rundown of the different segments. So I’ll only provide the link for “Maneem” but you should easily be able to find the rest from the there. If I review each one individually, by the time I got to “Danem” and the others, they would all have to be scratched out due to spoiling revealed plot twists from both “Maneem” and “Mekrelmar”. However, because of how long and complex this whole thing is, I am going to need to delve a bit more in to spoilers than I like just to cover the over all plot, so be warned! I will say this series was AMAZING and would probably be best read blind! There are so many exciting twists and reveals and the Author (You may recognize from the Part 2 reviews such as “Spacejerk” and “Misdirection”) as always, is able to pull you into the story, make you fall in love with these characters, and does not pull any punches when it comes to emotional drama! I teared up during the epilogue! This Author has made me cry on two different occasions now!! If you love soap operas, you’ll love this series!  

“Maneem” We start off with Zim finding out that his mission on Earth was a joke. In a state of shock, he wonders out into the streets of his neighborhood. He is not wearing his disguise and is very obviously an Alien. Dib finally gets what he’s always wanted, and Zim is arrested. Zim then goes to court (stay with me here lol), and a Judge sentences him to spend 3 months living with a host family to prove that he is not a danger to society. If he fails to do so, then he will be surrendered to the Swollen Eyeball for them to do whatever they please. And this is where we meet Della, Tom, Mikko, and Tiana, they’re original characters that play very important roles throughout the whole saga, I love them all for different reasons but Della and Mikko are definitely my favorites <3! This is a Found Family Fic. Della and Zim’s interactions are rocky at first but so sweet and wholesome later on, and Mikko’s growth from a frightened mute little girl to a spitfire fighter is done so well and I just absolutely adore her! Although, in the beginning, there is definitely a lot of headbutting, as the saga goes on these characters become Zim’s family, and they really grow close. The first half of “Maneem” is mostly Zim settling in with this new family of his, so a lot of slice-of-life fluff and drama. But soon, Dib hacks into Zim’s PAK and reveals that Zim has had a truly horrific up bringing, complete with brutal torturous training and both emotional and physical abuse. One punishment Zim had to endure during training was being exposed to a new alien species called a Morflar. Morflars are like living shadows that hunt and eat Irkens, slowly killing them in the most bone chilling way possible. Morflars play a pretty big part later on. But something else is revealed in Zim’s memories that truly gets the plot moving! After seeing something truly horrific, Dib kidnaps Zim at gunpoint and forces the alien to take him to Irk for a rescue mission. Here is where we meet Gloria (I wont say much about her due to spoilers but I really fell in love with her and her relationships with other characters by the end of this saga!). A few things happen, and “Maneem” ends shortly after a second trip to Irk for a rescue is successful. Overall, “Maneem” is a pretty quick read, and due to its age (about 12 years old) it is missing a few of the finer details that the Author’s more recent fics have. However, even in these earlier chapters, the Author does such a great job with emotion and character interactions, that you hardly notice the jumping in scenes. And the writing style really improves later in the saga! It’s just obviously different from how the Author currently writes, so there’s a noticeable difference if you read their more recent fics first, but if you read this one first, then you wont even notice any of it, and you will truly be blown away when the writing improves later on. 

“Mekrelmar” takes place about two years later, basically Dib wants revenge for what happened to Gloria, and convinces Zim to reluctantly tag along. Chaos ensues and Zim ends up being left behind on Irk, leading to a bit of torture and another rescue. Here is also where the Swollen Eyeball starts to enter the story in a major way, though they really don’t start to shine until “Danem”. The Author also does something with Gaz’s character in this series that is absolutely enjoyable and clever! I will not spoil it but it’s clever and works so well with the world the Author builds here. Even if the reveal is a little out of the blue XD

“Danem” takes place five years later, and here is where a lot of crazy stuff really starts to happen! There was actually a real-life five year gap between “Mekrelmar” and “Danem”, so not only does the writing style improve, but the Author’s ability to foreshadow really shines here! You can tell that the next four segments were all well planed out, as a lot of different twists and mysteries are introduced and slowly hinted at, before finally being answered many many chapter later! You wont be able to put it down! We start to learn a bit more about what Gaz can do. And Zim just has an All Around No Good Very Bad Time with a lot of stuff, I know I say this a lot, but this Author is so good at emotional trauma!! We also get a special surprise in the form of a familiar bond reveal, the Author does such a great job with the reveal too, it’s hinted at and you can almost guess what it is, yet it still takes you by surprise when it is confirmed! I was screaming out loud with how well done it was, and how excited I was about the implications of what the reveal would mean for the rest of the story. Mikko also continues to get some character growth and I gotta say, I really do love her X3. There’s more stuff with the Swollen Eyeball as well, which gets dark just as a heads up, there’s a bit of gore and psychological damage. It’s all very well written! We’re also introduced to another new character who plays a larger part later on, Agent Tunaghost, she’s one of the few characters who actually uses logic and is smart enough to know that everyone else needs to see a psychologist lol.  Also, trying to avoid spoilers, the Author does an absolutely amazing job at a character redemption, someone who you absolutely despise in the first two segments becomes a beloved character in this one going forward. It’s so well done! This Author really writes trauma, angst, and emotions so well. Though fair warning, there is a Character Death in this segment. Towards the end of “Danem”, I really fall in love with a particular character and their behavior towards Zim (XD man it’s really hard to say stuff without spoiling it, like I don’t even want to name the character because that will spoil stuff from the first two segments)

“Sempadinum” takes place almost immediately after “Danem”, and it is an emotional roller coaster (lol I feel like I say this a lot, but seriously the Author is sooo good with making the reader feel for these guys!). It mostly focuses on Gloria’s recovery from all the horrible stuff that’s happened to her in the past, as well as a budding platonic relationship that I truly was platonicly shipping and gushing over by the end of the saga! When you read it, you’ll understand why I’m emphasizing platonic lol, but seriously I absolutely adore these two together! Tunaghost is again the only one to actively suggest a psychologist for these poor folks, too (and she’s 100% right). Also, the Earth is in danger (cause of course it is) from the Irken Armada, and the Author has a really clever way to save it that really got me gushing over this characterxcharacter relationship lol. Overall “Sempadinum” is very well written, with great character development and exploration of their emotions and traumas. Plus there’s so much happening plot wise, that I can’t even touch on because of spoilers!! And sooo much foreshadowing shows up that isn’t answered until very far down the road, showing that the Aurthor planned everything out and did such a great job writing it all! We also start to get a few more hints on the Big Bad that first appeared in “Danem”, though we wont really see them till much later, and let me tell you, You will Never Guess the true identity of this Big Bad! But once they’re revealed, the hints laid out up to that point can be puzzled out. Lot of hindsight needed though XD

“Scarazial” takes place immediately after “Sempadinum” with a very heart wretchingly emotional wedding. We’re also introduced to Riddick, who is an absolute delight! As with a few other character introductions in this saga, Riddick starts out a bit as a jerk (though absolutely fun), trust me, you’ll love him by the end! With a few more appearances from the Big Bad, and a few other mysteries that need to be solved (that I can’t hint at cause it involves characters and spoilers from previous segments) “Scarazial” ends with Zim finally snapping and going insane, and it is really a fun/terrifying thing to watch!

“Zaygam” takes place immediately after “Scarazial”, and is the last of this six part saga. I can’t say much without spoilers other than it wraps up every loose end perfectly and the epilogue got me all chocked up! I actually had to pause reading for a few hours and I still ended up losing a few tears when I picked it back up mid-chapter! One thing I can say, there is an odd introduction of a new character, it seems a bit out of left field, and doesn’t make any sense at first (especially since it comes immediately after an April fools chapter lol), but trust me, if you keep reading to the end you will quickly fall in love with this idea that is presented, and everything else that this 6 part saga has to offer! 

Please give it a read!

13/10 Very long, but so so good! The writing, plot, and characters are so well done and the depiction of emotional trauma and ptsd is handled well. And the Character redemptions are amazing, plus the ships!!! This also has my hands down absolute favorite depiction of Red!

Between The Stars by andystarr aka @andyyoureastarr

This fic is 2,111 words. Originally posted on 01-04-2020 and so far only has one chapter.

I’ve reviewed this Author’s fics before, but this is a brand new one! And although there probably isn’t enough of it for me to truly review it, based off what is out so far and the Author’s other works I am 100% confident that I can recommend it! The Author introduces a new alien species that appears to be blood thirsty similar to the Irekns, they discover Dib post alien abduction via “the really dumb aliens who think he’s [Zim] a human and try to fuse him with stuff” from the show. Dib ends up killing his captures before his supposed “rescue” and the chapter ends on a pretty ominous note. 

?/10 Since there’s only one chapter so far I don’t want to give it a rating, but knowing the Author’s other work I’m sure it’ll have a perfect score.

Breaking Routine by GalaxyCuup aka @galaxycuup

This fic is 6,188 words. Originally posted on 12-02-2019 and last updated on 12-13-2019. It has two chapters so far.

This is another one that’s a little harder to review since it’s still so new, but the two chapters that are out so far, are so well written, and hold so much promise for the future! This is a species swap AU where Zim is human and in Hi-skool and Dib is the Irken Scientist who has come to Earth to study and research it. The Author also posts pictures IN THE CHAPTERS!! They are so good!! The characters are very well written and their interactions are fun to watch. Plus with this being a species swap, it means their personalities are still sorta there, but their cultures and up bringing are very different so they react to things differently than their canon selves would, which make it a very fascinating read and a fresh take from all the other versions of these two that I’ve seen so far. Zim is his usually hot headed self, but being a teenager it seems to get him into more trouble than he deserves, while Dib has that air of infatuation and child-like wonderment with the planet Earth and everything new around him. I’m very curious to see where the story goes from here and what these two will do if Dib’s Irken self is ever revealed.

?/10 It’s still new so I can’t quiet give it a full score, but I see a lot of potential and the unique take combined with the artwork is so good that I definitely recommend it, and look forward to reading more.

Chomp by VelociraptorAddict aka unashamed self promotion

This fic is 12,280 words. Originally posted 12-31-2019 and last updated 01-18-20. It is updated weekly and so far has 4 chapters posted.

We start off with an introduction of a new Alien species, not much is revealed about them at first besides the fact that they require to “Bond” with others in order to survive off their own planet. More is revealed little by little as the story goes unfolds. This alien is sent to Earth/Urth to gather information for an upcoming invasion, and ends up forming a Bond with a young girl to do so. This girl later moves across the country and starts going to skool with Dib. One day she makes the mistake of admitting she doesn’t believe in Bigfoot, which leads to Dib confronting her to try and convince her otherwise. However, during the conversation it is revealed that she does believe in ghosts, and Dib’s need to be validated for his belief in the paranormal, means that he quickly sees this girl as someone who will actually listen to him. So he attaches himself to her and assumes they’re friends. Unfortunately for the girl, she has a pretty big secret that she doesn’t want this potential paranormal investigator to find out, the Loughran. 

Unfortunately, it is not a secret she’s able to keep for long. Dib quickly becomes suspicious that she must be hiding something, when another new student (Zim), comes to their skool and Dib accuses him of being an Alien. The girl seems to flip between agreeing with him and denying the existences of aliens all together and Dib finds it very suspicious. When a fight breaks out at recess between Zim, the girl, and something invisible, Dib quickly and adamantly demands answers!

This part of the plot moves pretty quickly, but it is simply the set up for what’s to come.

?/10 It doesn’t feel right scoring my own fic, but I will admit the writing style itself could use a bit of improvement and it could definitely use a lot more descriptive text. However, the character interactions and dialogue portions are done well enough. And I’ve been doing enough of these fic reviews that it’s about time I put my money where my mouth is and started writing my own, right?

[sukarabia]

Sereia x Leona - A disastrous first meeting

Disclaimer: Sereia is @kirseduwu‘s OC! Mary-Ann is one of my (still unrevealed) OCs, and they’re both 1st years at the time of this drabble. I’m sorry this took so long, and sorry if Sereia is OOC, I tried working with the character sheet you provided me T_T Regardless, I hope you like it! <3

“... You’re seriously weird, you know.”

Sereia stopped in her tracks. That voice- it was unmistakable. Swift as thunder, she turned around.

“.. Ara, if it isn’t Leona-san. Is there anything I could help you with?” She titled her head, softly smiling at him.

“There you go again. Seriously, aren’t you tired?”

Dusk was slowly setting on the courtyard, yet the light seemed almost blinding to Sereia as she processed what Leona had said. She responded, as imperturbable as ever, a fake smile plastered on her face.

“I’m afraid I don’t follow, Leona-san. I am just putting away the practice material, after all. Is there anything wrong with that?”

“... Ha, look at you, with that fake smile n’ all. Don’t you know your eyes ain’t even smiling when you’re grinning like that?”

She had to resist the urge to bit her lower lip as she fought the growing uneasiness swelling inside of her.

“’A fake smile’? You must be mistaken, Leona-san. Why would I pretend about anything?”

Somehow, her voice had faltered a bit. And when Sereia looked up to meet Leona’s gaze, she understood that he had noticed. Shit. Why did this guy have to butt in? He threw his head back, looking down at her with a cocky expression.

“Hah, so I was right. Seems like our lil’ mermaid can reach her limits, too. Must be tiring, smiling around those idiots all day and pretendin’ you care. Kinda admire you, in a sense.” He paused, and his expression got colder. “... But man, you seriously creep me out.”

--

“You seriously creep me out”.

As much as she wanted to play it cool, Leona’s words rang in her head. Seriously- what did that jerk even want anyway? He barely showed up for class, despite being held back once already. He barely interacted with his classmates, scoffing whenever anyone would talk to him, and purposefully skipping on any social activities. What even was he up to? Who knows, but Sereia knew what she wanted- to have a smooth high school career, both academically and socially, in order to land a nice job post-graduation and finally become a person who matters. Which, obviously, a spoiled royal like Leona would never understand.

“Se~re~ia~-chan~”

Absent-mindedly, Sereia tapped on her pencil. Did he figure her out? Well, not that it mattered, or that she was in the wrong. For someone like her, it’s important to keep on a façade- because unlike Leona, she has to be liked. Because no one is going to fold their back for a rootless orphan- she had to be the one to appeal to people. She was going to erase the scars of the past. She was sure of it.

“-ia-chan?”

But man.... regardless, she was irked. It was her adage to avoid troublesome matters- but trouble had just found her. She just couldn’t understand- why would he purposefully go out of his way to tell her that she creeped him out? When he is such an aloof person by nature?

“Heeeey....”

Sereia jolted up as she felt something cold on her cheek. Startled, she looked up to see her classmate Mary-Ann handing her a soda can, pouting.

“Oi, Sereia-chan, you just ignored me for a good 5 minutes y’know? Seriously, after I go all the way to the cafeteria to bring you something to drink? How mean ~”

“... Ara, Mary-Ann-san, I didn’t see you. My apologies.” Sereia smiled as she took the can from her hand.

“‘Didn’t see me’? That ain’t not seeing me, that’s straight up ignoring!!” Mary-Ann sat down next to Sereia, sighing.

I didn’t even offer for her to sit.... was Sereia’s first reaction. Ah, seriously, we don’t match. Mary-Ann was extroverted and exuberant, the type of person that anyone could figure out at first sight. The very opposite of Sereia- yet when they met on the first day, Mary-Ann suddenly decided they’d become best buddies, and tagged along wherever Sereia went. She wasn’t a bad person, but she was way too simple-minded.

“So, what’s up with you?”

“Huh?” Sereia looked at her. “Ah... Nothing much. I was just thinking.”

“Nah, no way, you literally look like you swallowed salt.” Mary-Ann put her chin in the palm of her hand. “Is it Leona-san?”

For a split second, Sereia couldn’t control her expression of surprise. How did she even figure that out?

“Eheh, hit the nail on the head ~” She laughed as Sereia stared at her with a suspicious expression. “- Oi, what’s up with your face? Swear I didn’t spy, but I saw you both talking when I was putting stuff back after Vargas’ class.” She grasped Sereia’s arm, her face way too close for the blue-haired girl. “Soooo, what happened?”

“Mary-Ann-san, you’re misunderstanding, nothing happened.” Sereia clarified as she wriggled her arm out of Mary-Ann’s embrace. “Leona-san just had things he wanted to talk about, that’s all.”

“Leona-san? Talking to anyone? As if. Plus, judging by your face, he was totally being a jerk, wasn’t he?”

... Maybe Sereia misjudged her, and she wasn’t as oblivious as she thought.

“Aaaah, seriously, that guy pisses me off ~ He doesn’t talk to anyone in class at all, and then he comes around and insults you? You’re like, the kindest person in the class!”

.... Or maybe not.

“Ara, I really am not.” Swift as thunder, Sereia feigned a smile. “I guess I must have irked him the wrong way....”

Mary-Ann suddenly got up, startling Sereia. The blonde girl clapped her hands, a grin on her face. What is she up to....

“Well, you don’t wanna keep a misunderstanding around for too long, right? That Leona guy definitely doesn’t have any reason to hate you, so you should clarify things with him!”

“He leaves straight after class, so-”

“Aaand that’s where I come in! I’m on classroom cleaning penal- ahem, I meant duty with him today, so if you cover my shift tonight, you’ll get to talk to him!”

“.... Mary-Ann-san. Surely, you aren’t just trying to escape your cleaning duties?”

“Eh-? Ahah, no, I would... never do that...” Letting a nervous laughter out, she waved her hands. “And I’ll like, totally pay you back by covering your shift when you’re paired with a hot guy, m’kay?~”

Sereia sighed. That just sounded like trouble, but... she felt as if she had to clarify things with him. She was used to contempt and scoffs- but for some reason, Leona’s words made her heart ache.

“.... Alright. Thank you, Mary-Ann-san.”

--

Sereia regretted agreeing almost as soon as she entered the empty classroom. Leona was napping on a desk, obviously not intending on helping out at all. Sereia cleared her throat.

“... Is this how you clean?”

Surprised, the Savanaclaw student removed the book he was using to block the light. He slightly raised his head to peer at the young girl in front of him.

“Well, if it isn’t our lil’ mermaid. What are you doing here? I thought I was on cleaning duty with that blonde chick?”

“She isn’t ‘that blonde chick’, that’s Mary-Ann-san.” Sereia sighed. “I’m covering her shift for her, so please start cleaning already.”

“... Well, would you look at that, ever-so-kind.” Leona grinned, resting his head on his arms. “Do you get some brownie points for that?”

Irked, Sereia turned around.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Now, if you would please start cleaning.”

“And what do I get for it?”

Sereia turned around once more. Upon seeing her face, Leona’s grin disappeared. Her eyes had turned cold. Interesting, he thought.

“Leona-san. I assume as a royal heir, you haven’t had the opportunity to clean after yourself, never mind after others, am I correct? Well, now that we are both Night Raven College Students, please understand that you are to do as us plebeians do.” Sereia’s voice came out as colder than she had intended. But for some reason, Leona’s arrogance really brought out the side of her she’d rather hide.

“Ha, what a quick change of attitude. How creepy.”

“- Would you please stop saying that.”

The tone of Sereia’s voice perked Leona’s interest, as he raised himself up with a big yawn. His gaze met Sereia, and the intensity of his predator eyes caught Sereia off-guard.

“... You’re an interesting one, you know.”

“If I’m not mistaken, you said I was ‘creepy’ a few seconds ago. Talk about a change of attitude.” Sereia tried her best to keep her composure, but the air seemed to grow heavier as Leona shifted towards her.

“All those lil’ herbivores ain’t worth my time, but you...” He stood up, and stopped right in front of Sereia. “.. You seem to have some fight in you, y’know. The way I see it, you can’t stand those idiots either, but why do you go around pretendin’ you do? What are you trying to get out of them?”

Sereia took a step back, only to be met with the wall behind her. Shit, she thought. The tension made her feel like her legs could give in at any moment- yet she couldn’t turn her eyes away from Leona’s gaze.

“... I already told you, I’m afraid you’re mistaken about this.”

Leona let out a chuckle as he placed his arm above her head, hovering over her.

“You’re still going on about that even in this situation? Hah, my instincts didn’t fail me- you’re intriguing. Y’know, I can’t stand those innocent, goody-two-shoes types, but you....”

The setting sun made Leona’s eyes shine even more in the dusk-coloured classroom. Sereia gulped, almost enchanted by the sight in front of her.

“... Something tells me you might be the one to make this pretentious school less boring.”

[vgperson]

What Did I Translate in 2018?

[shoushatohaisha]

review: hajimari no kyojin (osaka 6/1)

so. hello. i usually write up my butai thoughts as, um, 100+ tweet threads in the immediate wake of whatever i just saw, but this time around i thought i'd work them out into a proper report, of a sort. if you, too, have seen this show already and want to talk about it... please. any time. always.

about reviewing: this is my very favorite 2.5D franchise, ever. but this is also a review, not a cheerleading exercise, so not every single thing i have to say is unrelentingly positive. having said that, i respect kinoshita, wada, suga-zachou, and the staff at large more than just about any creative team in this corner of japanese theater fandom so like. i'm not here to drag, lol.

about spoilers: i talk about the plot elements covered but try to avoid spoiling any of the fun production surprises. :) happy to do a more spoilery play-by-play later if folks are curious.

about length: i just checked and it's 2400 words im so sorry.

without further ado...

first of all, i admit that based on the preview clips i doubted, and i was swiftly taken to task for doubting. IM SORRY WORRY-SAN i trust u implicitly and i should have known better. after the major changes in shinka no natsu, i was concerned that bringing back the revolving stage and the original opening theme would feel stale/regressive. it did not. while they did bring back the revolving element they also extended the stage backward and added a second level behind a full stage height projection screen – the second level was used to do some neat staging for flashbacks/parallels and the screen was used to, how shall we say this, up their projection game in a major way, which i frankly did not think was possible. i will not spoil the details but it was pretty great, on a purely technical level.

i also realized that a lot of the repetition – opening with the bike scene, bringing back the original opening credits music, the staging, etc – is the "look back" over the last couple years that i'd expected to come this fall. they are very obviously already preparing for the end – you could think of this as part one of their last show, with the fall as part two. the show opens with a restaging of sixth grader hinata seeing the little giant on tv for the first time – then the current karasuno team take the place of the tv and hinata joins them for a team jog. "karasuno, fight!" "oh!" "fight!" "oh!" only then each character calls out their signature line from the show so far. "uchi no renchuu wa chanto tsuyoi" / "mou tobenai karasu nante yobasenai" / "murabito b mo tatakaemasu!"

and haha. let me tell you. BOY, DID I FEEL THINGS. a lot of things. i think yachi got me the worst but they were all real bad. (i have so many feelings about yachi's story and what a beautiful job saitou ami did with her character on stage. god. ;_;)

the theme of this play was the role of captain – what makes a good captain, what a captain does for the team, and how to step into those shoes when the captain is gone. the johzenji match is fun, but here, in a sense, it exists more or less to set up the wakutani match – (re)establishing daichi's importance so that his absence feels like the gut punch it is. and fully settling the weight of that responsibility on ennoshita's shoulders, as both daichi's substitute on the court and the captain-in-waiting.

with that in mind, the rival schools: imo it wasn't strictly necessary to cast full teams for each school – each match got its own dedicated act, and unlike, for example, nekoma/datekou in karasuno fukkatsu (which had a similar story structure), there aren't really any individual characters on these rival schools who have a role as such other than terushima and takeru. (you know, the captains. see above. XD) so in theory one could get this done with, like, one actor for each captain and then an ensemble cast playing the rest of the team across both matches. HOWEVER, having all those bodies allows them to do super cool stuff visually, and why force yourself to create the illusion of a full team if you don't have to? i.e., /i/ sure am not complaining, isn't it nice to have $$$ to achieve the max vision of your choreographer. XD

i also have no doubt that the kids playing these other characters are doing whatever they can to create a character within the ensemble, and i suspect there's plenty for repeat viewers to pick up on, esp during say the johzenji match (see below). however for the first time viewer following the main flow of the story it's more or less a very large ensemble cast.

the johzenji chaos was well expressed, haha, there was so damn much going on all the time that i hardly knew where to look. (i've also seen opinions on j-twitter that that diluted the impact and i can see that too – it worked for me as a "funny" match that didn't cross the line into comic relief, but ymmv.) i thought the final scene with misaki would pack more of a punch, but i fully expect them to cry at daisenshuuraku so that might fill in the last 10% that's missing rn.

wakutani are another Good Dance Team. one did get a sense, stylistically, of fukurodani- and nekoma-lite with johzenji and wakunan, respectively – i assume that was intentional. mirroring the cats vs owls match, as it were. yanagihara rin's takeru was like… scary?? i had to rewatch those episodes this weekend to see if i'd just forgotten something, but no, stage takeru is not so much reliable middle brother as scowly quiet tough guy. he looked like a kyoutani tbh, and looking at the kid actually cast for kyoutani, one wonders if someone in casting mixed up some paperwork or something. having said that, yanagihara was great at being the character he was, i enjoyed what he did on stage. i'm just not sure that character was takeru. XD (edit: ok having just rewatched, i have to revise this somewhat, i think a big part of my impression was due to being too far back to properly see his expressions the first time around -- up close he was much smilier, and bc i was thinking about it i noticed some nice details like him going over for a family hug afterward.) otoh big post-match scene – all of wakutani, actually – was really good. v effective, i heard sniffles around me.

during this match, johzenji reappeared dressed as takeru's family: FUCKING HILARIOUS omg, everyone involved has clearly learned how to do this right wrt blocking, the very fine line between comic relief and intrusion, etc, after the, er, shaky shousha to haisha experiment of kuroken doubling as oikawa's fangirls. seichou shita na, errone.

also, some great wire work for hinata and takeru – you could tell kenta is really comfortable up there these days. the first time the wires came into play one of the women behind me went "UWO!" which, when a japanese theatergoer makes a noise out loud, that's a true sign something's impressive. XD

nekoma vs fukurodani: Yeah, That Happened. it is a testament to how well done karasuno vs wakunan was that i didn't just spend the entire time screeching BRING BACK CATS VS OWLS because fjkdajfkdlsfjd KYAA. another good staging moment – they used mirrors to create the effect of two full teams playing at a crowded gymnasium, it was brill. i won't spoil some of the fun details but vvjakdlfjdf. and tbh i think the best performance of the four was probably shouri's?? not that this is news but istg idk how someone so soft offstage does THAT on stage. is it this "acting" thing you speak of.

new bokuaka: i mean it was clear some of this material was meant for yoshimoto kouki and i did kinda miss him – i appreciate higashi-san's pinch hitting and he did a solid job. but. ah well. HAVING SAID THAT. fucking "michi wo tsukurimasu yo" i mean we should all be grateful it wasn't kouki and yuuki or it would have just been a fucking fanfic on stage. it was still bad and i don't even go here. XD

and last but not least, arita ushiwaka kenji: not exactly the world's most natural line delivery but that's fine because, i mean, he's ushiwaka. and his physical presence was perfect. which was about all he was called on to do in this particular show, ahaha.

now, for karasuno. and specifically, for my son, kawahara kazuma. remember what i said approximately a thousand words ago, about captains and captains in waiting and stepping up to the plate? (or onto the court, as it were.) ennoshita's story was the heart of the wakutani match and kazuma carried the second act. he was. so. good. he had good material to work with, of course, but he made it even better. i was saying to a friend that in retrospect i think this is one of the very very few parts of the series that actually played better and more emotionally affecting on stage than in the source material (as opposed to differently good/differently affecting). in the manga/anime, you can only see what the paneling or the frame shows you, and those initial paneling/framing choices are focused on the drama of CAPTAIN DOWN. but on the stage, daichi goes down… and off to the side you see ennoshita freeze. and from that moment on, for kazuma, it's go time. he doesn't let up until the end of post-match scene in (here) the locker room – which, jesus, that scene. it packs ten times the punch it does in the anime. because of kazuma.

sorry if i sound like a crazy person here ahaha. but like. like, imagine you have been acting since childhood, you've studied dance with famous choreographers and innovators, you had a main role in The Franchise That Changed 2.5D as a teenager, you've done a solo album, you have a serious history in performing arts... and you get cast in what was initially the smallest role of the entire karasuno team. and you take it! and pull your weight! kazuma was a team player for three years and he deserved this chance to let his actual skills shine so much. ;_; because i don't necessarily think he would have been better in any of the other roles than his actual teammates – but i do think he is a much better actor than several of his actual teammates. and he finally got the opportunity to show that.

anyway, when it came time for curtain calls, the applause swelled noticeably for kazuma – a louder ovation than anyone except kagechan and kenta. and one of those people clapping her hands off, say in row 20, just a random row choice, was definitely tearing up at the same time.

IN OTHER KARASANEWS. kt-san. LIVE IN PERSON KT-SAN BACK IN THE ROLE HE WAS MEANT FOR cries into my hands i love him daichi-saaaaaaaaaan. very occasionally his delivery reminded me he's a model not an actor, if you know what i mean, but like, for the vast part it didn't matter because he is naturally such a perfect fit. have i mentioned i love him.

new suga: mmmmm. he looked and moved fine but his line delivery did not convince me. tbf it's not like suga has a huge role to play in these matches so 1) it's not a huge deal 2) he didn't get much chance to get into the character. either he'll get better or he won't, and if he doesn't it's not going to sink the next play or anything. he seems like a nice enough kid, i wish him well!

kageyama tatsuya: still can't yell and enunciate at the same time. loved that they brought back the archer analogy from shinka no natsu though!! it was one of my favorite things about his kageyama, and it's nice that it's something he "owns" instead of imitating/inheriting from tatsunari.

tsukishima & yamaguchi: miura kairi continues to get even better, i'm so pleased. <3 also, i love love love that they still use the musical motif from shousha to haisha for yamaguchi's jump float serve. it was the same in shinka no natsu, it's the same here. THE TSUKKIYAMA WAS REAL CUTE, great detail work before and after the serve as well as after tsukki's block(s). as for tsukishima, much as they brought back kageyama's archer imagery, they brought back tsukki's fancy katana kill block. (they didn't waste kondou shouri, either, i'll leave it at that.)

last but not least, MY ACTUAL SON AND FEELINGS TWIN, SUGA KENTA: ok like. to set the scene here. i have mad respect for this kid and also love him to death as a human. i think he puts more thought into this production than anyone else in the cast – he is practically worry-san's AD. and he clearly has a lot of real deep thoughts and feelings about the source material. so deep in fact that it took a while for me to come around to his hinata because while, for example, tatsunari's kageyama could have walked straight off my television screen, kenta went down to the manga and built hinata up from there. he didn't have a choice – he's nothing like murase ayumu's voice. all too often we, and i include myself here, think of the two dimensions in 2.5D as anime, rather than manga... but just as there's a big gap between the two dimensions of animation and the three dimensions of live theater, there's as big a gap again between static black-and-white drawing, and movement and color and sound. and when i looked at kenta's hinata as something created solely from furudate's art style, it all slotted into place for me. (naturally, ymmv.)

it also took kenta longer than some of the others, i think, to portray all of what he wanted to. shoen hinata was pretty yelly, and pretty single-register yelly. hinata is a yelly character, of course, but the balance between that hinata and Serious Match Hinata was out of whack at first. this got better and better with every show. and then—

his encounter with ushiwaka here. was IT. it was what i was looking for all this time. his delivery of hinata's big line there was like – i think maybe i clapped my hands over my mouth, unclear, bc it was like the final missing piece and i was so happy. kentaaaaa. ;____;

part of me wonders if this is what kenta's always had in his head but maybe couldn't get his face/voice to express the way he wanted it? OR, IT'S KENTA, SO MAYBE IT WAS ON PURPOSE and his previous Serious Hinata was meant to be like, just a feral hunger child whereas this is the kid who experienced the heartbreak of losing to seijou. i would love to ask him tbh. XD

anyway, my son, after five plays continues to grow in his portrayal of this character. kenta is the heart of gekidan haikyuu in so many ways, and i will be at their graduation show if it kills me.

(breathes out) i think that's. everything. a best setter award to anyone who read this far, and feel free to ask if there's anything specific you want to know about? i will be seeing it again this weekend for daisenshuuraku and will be sure to report back on who cried, etc. all hail volleyball stage the end. 🏐

[flowerypudding]

a bulletpoint summary of jiuniang’s backstory ( aka i can’t ever be concise about ANYTHING so this is long also i cover yellow wine’s bg a little and make commentary on this / certain interperations )

bc idk who cares about this but i probably need to slap this on some pages at some point but for now, some very rough interpretations ( courtesy of me plugging things into three different translators and trying to make sense of things; aka this is also for my own reference so i don’t have to do that anymore ) 

here’s the very concise TLDR; about yellow wine’s backstory incase you don’t want to read bulletpoint hell below: basically yellow wine is a p decent dude who happens to hear about children being kidnapped and amongst the children that he ends up saving, jiuniang happens to be among them. bc she’s under orders not to attack ( from her m.a., presumably ), he decides to protect her and takes her home with him + is very quick to fall into the protective older brother role lol 

so we actually can’t start out talking about jiunjiang’s backstory w/out talking about yellow wine’s, because yw’s tells us about the exact circumstances under which they meet and give us extra context as to why she acts the way she does

also yes i’m lazy and abbreviating yellow wine to yw. sorry.

the tdlr; is that yw happens to overhear gossip about children being ‘lost’ ( it’s later made more clear that they’ve supposedly been kidnapped ), so yw decides to make it his business to be involved and goes to check shit out ( aka find the people involved and figure out where the children are )

yw finds the children and proceeds to unleash hell on the criminals ( via beating them up and then tying them up, probably not killing anyone? not all of us need to solve things with murder, if you’re a certain murder-y food soul pls take notes ). 

it also should be noted that the children seem to have been terrified from the start ( which is fair i mean they were kidnapped ) and yw has probably just struck more fear into them, gg. which forces him to take the children individually to get them out.

jiunjiang is, convienently, the last child that yw comes across— of course, he’s quick to realize she’s a food soul and asks why she hadn’t fought ( he notes that even if she looks like a child, she should still be capable of fighting / is strong regardless— the implication being, that despite being a child, she’s a food soul so she should’ve been able to fight; which logically makes sense ). 

it’s a little hard for me to understand the next part, but given what i know of her own backstory— she says her master attendant ( i assume ) wouldn’t allow her to fight back against them. it seems to be that her m. a. had been sold ( or herself, possibly? both seem possible BUT i think it’s supposed to be that her master had been sold / possibly she’d been forced to go along when he was sold )

which is something he was going to scold her for ( given that so many of the food souls do attempt to fight back for their masters / can’t when given the order not to, yw is probably the kind of the person with the mentality to fight anyways ), but ends up softening up bc he’s afraid of scaring her ( again ) and instead promises to protect her  / wants to take care of her

yw is NOT like crazy overprotective of her, but he’s pretty protective of her considering she keeps hiding behind him and being scared of basically anyone else.

oh also he does the head rub thing with her this is very important for you all to know?? thanks.

ANYWAYS. he ends up having to talk to like.. civil services? because of the entire ordeal ( you know. freeing children. tying up criminals. just your average tuesday ). she gets concerned and brings him some tea bc he’s working hard  ( this is jsyk she’s a good good girl??? )

also this is the first time we see her say his name, referring to him as ‘黄酒哥哥’ ( lit. yellow wine older brother >> which is why i refer to him as her ‘big brother’, although i’m not entirely sure if that’d be correct; ie. elder brother might be more ‘polite’ and in line w/ the original meaning )

also jiuniang is the kind of person to avoid gazes a lot, apparently. she keeps looking away / only looking up briefly ( probably part of her shyness ). at least at first she does anyways??

anyways the last part of yw’s backstory ( besides all the yw related details ) just talks about him taking her to different people in town and notes that she’s pretty shy around strangers / overwhelmed / nothing particularly important to note. tdlr; is that people seem to dote on her a lot. ( what a mood. we can all blame yw and everyone else if she ends up spoiled )

and that’s that for yw’s backstory, which means we can get to the good stuff now.

there’s no good way to summarize her background but here’s my best TLDR; of the really important details: under some circumstances jiuniang had been separated from her m.a. and is trying to find them, so yellow wine is helping with her search. they end up getting seperated while visiting another town, bc she runs off after spotting someone that seemed familiar to her. she ends up getting herself overwhelmed and panics and gets herself into trouble ( and almost gets KIDNAPPED AGAIN ). thankfully yellow wine saves her in the nick of time and also apparently the kidnapper is ( probably ) involved with whatever happened to her m.a. ?? it gets wild. also good sibling dynamic stuffs.

so we start of jiuniang’s backstory with her having a nightmare ( again, i assume this is about her master attendant ). if we are to take this to be something that happened or close to it, it seems like her and her master were kept in some bad conditions, which lead to them getting sick? ( if one / both of them had been sold re: the kidnapping incident, this wouldn’t seem too out of line w/ what might’ve actually happened. yikes. jiuniang has a bit of a ‘oh it’s just a dream’ reaction when she wakes up, so it’s also possible that this was like a worst case scenario dream come true ). 

( nyways this is one of the things that makes me read into her having some sort of ptsd )

anyways she wakes up and yw comforts her ( his reaction seems to indicate this isn’t normal, but we have no clue how long she’s been living with him so?? )

in the second part they’re traveling, and jiuniang gets dizzy so yw carries her on his back ( she also apologies to him so?? she hates being a bother i think ). she starts to ask him a question and she notes that yw’s usually not like that ( reassuring ) and even though he looks angry, he’ll always be soft towards her ( again not relevent but you all need to know this stuff )

we’re getting into parts i can’t fully understand again. anyways it turns out the question she has is relevant to their reason of traveling. from what i can gather, i assume she’s trying to find her m. a. ( now that she isn’t being held captive ), so yw’s reassuring that he’ll help her find them. when they get to town, she sees someone ( she recognizes them, so probably someone related to whatever happened with her m. a.? her master themselves? i’m not sure ), which sends her running off into town

the third part picks up here, with jiuniang lost and seperated from yw, which sends her into a panic attack ( ? i’d dub it as a panic attack bc this + the following flashback apparently pains her and also this seems like something that’d be covered by her general anxiousness and/or her ptsd / trauma ) bc the town is crowded / noisy / unfamiliar to her. we get a flashback of her and her master attendant. again, hard to tell what’s going on, but at one point she wants to fight for her master, but she’s told to not fight ( aka, this is what gives context to the stuff in yw’s backstory )

the third part wraps up w/ some public officers ( ? ) finding her and leads into the fourth part w/ them offering to help her ( ofc, when she says she’s trying to find her brother, they take this as needing to be reunited with her family ). she wants to go with the officers because they’re nice / trustworthy sort of thing; but also she doesn’t want to bc she knows if she waits, yw will come find her.

AND THEN THIS IS WHERE SHIT GETS WILD. so an older woman calls out to them ( i assume probably claiming she’s her’s or something that gets across a similar meaning )— jiuniang makes a comment that i believe gets misheard as her saying mother ( again, don’t know chinese here, but yīyàng and niáng seem like they could sound close, especially given that jiuniang’s more soft spoken and stutters ). in reality, she’s actually terrified bc the woman gives her ‘the same feeling as the man in her memory’ ( so really her day has gone from bad to worse rip ). 

so ofc since they think she said mother, the officers think she’s been reunited with her family and tries to get her to go with the woman and meanwhile she’s just petrified with fear and can’t say anything.

thankfully yw comes along to save her :’’)

they’re literally the ‘i’ve known x for only so long but if anything happened i’d kill everyone in this room and then myself’ meme bc yw picks her up while threatening them with his sword owjflsak  

also instead of watching all this play out she decides to hide her face in his neck?? she’s such a baby 

anyways part four wraps up with her thinking about how she knew he’d come and how she’d been waiting for him ( i get really emo about how much faith she has in him tbh?? )

sO PART FIVE. remember how i was like ‘this shit gets wild’ yeah this is where we explain why that was all so wack. so APPARENTLY that old woman?? actually a cross dressing man. presumably the same one that jiuniang knew / thus why she was so fearful despite the disguise. this is also another part of ‘i don’t know what the fuck is going on i hope someone translates this so i can understand what’s going on’. 

but if i were to take a wild guess, that man and the master attendant she’s looking for are the two in the scene....? i can’t really tell what on earth is going on / the intentions, but they make it pretty clear that he was trying to kidnap jiuniang ( again ) probably.

( also hey what is it with jiuniang and kidnappings....... pls let this child rest?? )

anyways her backstory ends on a happy note at least. the misunderstanding b/w them and the officers gets cleared up pretty quick and we go back to her and yw, who is scolding her ( bc she frightened him ) except when she starts to apologize he’s like ‘no wait i’m not blaming you for all this’ he’s just not good at communciation. also the background event during this is him combing her hair. ( it mentions that he’s combing her hair but like super awkwardly / clumsily?? which is sweet.. he’s trying his best )

anyways she asks something along the lines of ‘will [older brother] always follow me?’ ( and she pouts at him?? look at what you’ve done you’ve spoiled her ) and he just kind of is like ‘yeah’ ( i imagine it’s like him sighing as he accepts that this is what he’s gotten himself into )

tldr; these two have a really sweet sibling dynamic and also she deserves not to have to go through any more shit thank u for coming to my ted talk

[81scorp]

More thoughts on Tangled

I thought that all of my thoughts on Tangled might be a little much to read if put into one editorial, so I decided to divide it into two. Here`s the second half. You broke my SPOILERS ! Small constructive criticism

On the fence: Rapunzel hiding the satchel Where did Rapunzel hide the satchel? On her body I mean, before the scene where she gives it to Eugene in the boat. How about: She could have left the tower with her own, selfmade handbag to carry small stuff, like provision. When Gothel gives her the satchel she could take the crown out of it and hide it in her handbag and give it to Eugene later. "But if you`re gonna question the realism why don`t you also question why her hair doesn`t get dirty from being dragged on the ground or get stuck more often?" you might say.

Because A: Tangled seems to operate more on a fairytale logic than a Looney tunes logic where characters can pull things out of thin air whenever it`s convenient and the satchel was too important to the plot to be hidden in such a way.

B: I am very selective in my pedantic nitpicking. However: Rapunzel and Eugene`s sleeping place wasn`t that far from the castle. It`s possible that Rapunzel had time to run and get the satchel in the time it took Eugene to go and buy the lanterns. She could then have hid it behind her back until she knew what boat they were gonna use and then hide it on the boat. (Kinda how (I assume) Eugene hid the lanterns.) Besides, even if the satchel technically was too important to the plot to be hidden in such a looney tune kinda way it`s still technically a small thing in the plot that I didn`t really thought about until I looked a little closer and put a little extra thought into it. At the end of the day, I`m willing to let this slide. On the fence: Eugene getting hanged for stealing a crown People think that the punishment doesn`t fit the crime, that the hanging was just a way to raise the stakes and make it more dramatic. How about: Instead of being escorted to the gallows, he was being escorted to a boat that would take him to a prison-island where he would be locked up for who knows how many years. However: I don`t mind the dramatic punishment. It may have been disproportionate to the crime, but I like the raised stakes and it worked for the story. The Queen recognizing Rapunzel The last time she saw Rapunzel she was a blond baby, and now this grown up brunette shows up and she still recognizes her? Yes, if you`ve seen the scene you remember that they looked alike and that the Queen looked at her for a few seconds to find similarities. But how does she know she`s not some lookalike impostor? It would have been better if there was one more little thing that could help confirm Rapunzel`s identity. How about: Rapunzel was born with a flower-shaped birthmark behind one of her shoulders and the only ones who knew about it was the King, the Queen and Mother Gothel. And when they`re reunited the Queen checks her shoulder to be absolutely sure. But I guess most of us are willing to overlook this little detail because of the fairytale tone of the movie and because we know what Rapunzel`s been through. After all her hardships and struggles we want her to have her happy ending damnit! 2D animation and 3D animation This isn`t the first time Disney has done a fairytale musical or a computer animated movie but it is the first time they have combined the two. I like that they try something new, sure I would have liked if it was 2D, but I have no problem with the 3D. I just hope that there is still room in the future for some more handrawn Disney movies and that they don`t disappear completely. I wouldn`t mind seeing some more movies made with the Meander animation, like in Paperman. At least Disney`s last handdrawn movie wasn`t Home on the range. Tangled ever after Schopenhauer once said that a happy ending is an illusion created by the curtain closing at the right moment. What he meant is, and let`s be honest, most stories are about (Or at least involve) suffering and struggling. After the hero and heroine have suffered enough they are finally reunited in each other`s arms, the curtain closes and it`s a happy ending. Had it not ended there, the two lovers would once again have been separated and forced to struggle and suffer until they found each other again. If Tangled got a sequel Rapunzel and Eugene would once again have to struggle and suffer and it would weaken the big happy ending in the first movie. However, Hollywood does this all the time. Star wars: A New Hope ended happily and in the sequel Luke and his friends are back to hiding from and fighting against the Empire. Another important part of the movie and the fairytale it was based on (and the biggest reason why the filmmakers decided to not make a sequel) was Rapunzel`s insanely long hair which was cut in the movie`s climax. Without the most important thing it had in common with the fairytale it was based on, a sequel to Tangled would just seem forced. But if Disney were to make a sequel, what more could they actually tell the audience? Do we really want them to have a tragic turn of events just to make an interesting sequel? Was there a story left to tell and if so, what would it be about? Rapunzel and Eugene didn`t get married in the end of the first movie but a wedding was mentioned. In the end we got a short fim called Tangled ever after. I like it. The cartoony slapstick reminds me of the classic Tom and Jerry cartoons and I like that they continued the story with a short film. Not everything has to be big and feature length. Sometimes some things work best in a small scale. In the short film Eugene and Rapunzel take a back seat to Pascal and Maximus, which makes sense since their story was already told and pretty much came full circle in Tangled. And they still can`t get Eugene`s nose right! Tangled the series Just found out that they`re making an animated tv series that takes place between the first movie and the short film. It kinda, sorta weakens what I wrote about making sequels earlier since it kinda, sorta works as a sequel. How do I feel about a tv series? Cautious optimism. It could be good. I shouldn`t have high expectations but I hope that they at least give names to the unnamed Thugs from the Snugly Duckling. I mean seriously, you get recognizable actors like Brad Garrett and Jeffrey Tambor and you don`t even give their characters names? Tangled and Frozen If you haven`t seen Frozen or read my previous editorials

Do you want to read some SPOILERS? Ah yes, Tangled and Frozen. By the time I`m writing this they are, so far, Disney`s only 3D animated fairytale based musicals. That`s probably why people compare them to each other.

I like Tangled more than Frozen, that does not make Tangled objectively better than Frozen, nor does it make Frozen objectively worse or even bad. You can like one thing without hating the other. But why do I like Tangled more? I think one of the reasons (the reasons I can explain at least) is expectations.

First time I saw Tangled it surprised me, not just with the songs but also with three great scenes in a row: the Kingdom Dance scene, the wordless scene with the King and Queen (It hit me right in the feels!) and the big lantern scene. Suddenly this silly adventure comedy had become very heartwarming and a little bit more mature. Now you may say: "But it`s Disney, heartwarming is kinda their thing." Yes, but for a while they toned that down to focus more on silly comedies. Frozen is very hyped and it has led to it getting a lot of hate, something I think is sad because it`s not a bad movie. It is the hype that is the problem. Tangled was (in my experience at least) not as hyped as Frozen. (Probably because Disney wanted to keep the part about it being a musical a secret.) Because of that some of the best scenes were not shown in trailers and teasers, at least not much, to my knowledge, making it more pleasant to see them for the first time in the cinema. When Disney learned from Tangled that people like 3D animated musicals they made sure to play the Crap out of "Let it go". I Usually try to avoid hype. But then I saw a video where movie critic Kyle Kallgren mentioned Frozen in a list of movies that he recommended. He said: "Never before have I seen a Disney film with so many subversions". That word: "Subversions" (A word that I at that time thought meant the same as "toned down" or "avoid".), and the fact that Kyle usually watches highbrow movies, made me think that it was gonna be so much more different from the ordinary Disney films than it actually was. Plus, he also spoiled that it was sisterly love that saved the day. (But he didn`t go into details how it happened and fortunately he didn`t reveal the twist with Hans, all he said was "false prince". I assumed that Hans was a good guy (but not her true love) pretending to be a prince.) So curse you Mr Kallgren! Curse you for unintentionally raising my expectations about this movie only to find out that, while not the movie I thought it would be, it was still good and technically lived up to your description! May you be forced to watch godawful movies that... uh... uhm... Nevermind. But, like I said, his description was technically accurate.To it`s credit, Frozen has some new twists that we haven`t seen before, or at least often, in Disney movies. Where Tangled stayed more true to the Disney formula, Frozen gave us some new things. Like a clever villain who fools not just the heroines but the audience as well, platonic sibling love saves the day, not romantic love and we get a Disney queen (who plays an important part in the plot) who`s not evil. Another factor that makes me feel the way I felt about Frozen is (and this is very subjective) feels. Like I said before, I went into the cinema to see Tangled with low expectations and was surprised. The wordless scene with the King and the Queen before the release of the lanterns poked me right in the feels. Next Disney movie was Wreck it Ralph and much like Tangled I didn`t have high expectations about it. I saw it because a movie with a scene where several famous videogame badguys (like M. Bison and Bowser) meet in a support group seemed too hilarious to miss. I expected it to be funny and I was right, but then there were some good scenes with Ralph and Vanellope that hit me right in the feels. I thought it was just gonna be a silly comedy about videogame characters! Well played Disney, well played. This was also the first time I experienced Disney`s strategy of lowering our expectations and intentionally misleading us (Disney you magnificent bastards!). With two Disney movies in a row giving me the feels I think it`s understandable that I would expect their next movie (that was well recieved by critics) to do the same. Unlike Tangled and Wreck it Ralph my expectations with Frozen were not low, but relatively high-ish, like they usually are for most animated Disney movies. Frozen met my expectations much more than it exceeded them and it did not give me as strong feels as Tangled and Wreck it Ralph did. I didn`t feel that different from what I usually feel when I watch a good animated Disney movie. With Frozen I was waiting for that little extra thing that it technically never promised to give me. But you can`t really judge a movie`s quality (or likeability) based on how much feels it gives you, because feels are not necessary and there are many other things that can work to a movie`s advantage. However, there are some cases where some Disney movies have aged well for me and made me feel a little more when I´ve rewatched them after a few years. When I watched Beauty and the Beast as a little kid I liked it, but mostly for the humour. When I watched it again in my thirties a few years ago I remember seeing the dancing scene between Belle and Beast in a new light. Beast was being nervous and gulped while Belle was calm and gently took his hand and put it around her waist. I realized that this was probably the most intimate experience he had ever had with anyone, not so much physically but emotionally. This was not just a dance, this was a moment where a man was coming out of his shell and learning to trust someone else. If I`m not mistaken there are a few seconds where he looks where he puts his his feet but then gets more confident and realizes: "Hey, I`m getting good at this! I don`t need to look where I put my feet, it`s coming to me naturally!" In a way, this is a scene where Beast transforms on the inside. I love the line sung by Mrs Potts: "Both a little scared, neither one prepared", it sums up Belle and Beasts relationship perfectly. It`s a tale as old as time because it`s a tale worth retelling. My first-time experience with Brave was similar to my first-time experience with Frozen. I expected it to be different because it was Pixar. After watching it I felt: "It wasn`t bad, but it felt very conventional for a Pixar movie". It was on TV a couple of weeks ago, I gave it a watch and it had changed for me. The emotional moments had more of an impact on me this time and it gave me some feels. And don`t get me started on Dumbo. Who knows, maybe if I watch Frozen a second time some day in the future, now knowing better, I might see something in it that I didn`t see before and maybe it`ll give me the feels. Or maybe not. Like I said, a movie doesn`t have to give you the feels to be liked, and Frozen has other things that works to it`s advantage. Finally saw the Frozen fever short by the way. It`s as I expected: a cute, small project one would do between bigger projects. Cute songs, good animation and some funny moments. It does what it can with the short runtime it has. Yes, Frozen has flaws, but so does Tangled, and in both cases (for me at least) most of them are small and overlookable.

Tangled`s strength is it`s simplicity and humour. It also had the luxury of being the first 3D animated fairytale based musical. Frozen, not having the same luxury, has it`s strength in more memorable songs and challenging some of the tropes in the Disney formula. So, who wants a piece of cake?

[mypetshopworld]

My dog is in charge. How can I take back control of my dog, so he accepts me as the Packleader?

Dog behaviour problems. When your dog is in charge.

Do you have a dog that is not listening to you? It does not matter how many times you repeat it, sometimes your dog does it the first time, and sometimes you have to repeat it 10 times until your dog is doing what he is supposed to do.

Well, you are not alone. Many dog owners face the problem that their dog is the boss in the home. One thing I have learned about the behaviour problems with Dogs. There is nothing to worry, you can re-train your dog and any behaviour can be corrected. When you go through the behaviour training for dogs, you will be the boss again.

What is Leader Ship between you and your dog?

What I have learned when it comes to Dog training and the idea of leadership, I know the word is kind of strange, and it gets thrown around a lot. Unfortunately, it's something that is misunderstood. A lot of people think that leadership is all about being in charge, or being in control, yelling and screaming at the dog and getting them into listening to you. I want you to understand, that what we talk about today ... How you can learn to be your dog's leader in a much less confrontational way? In a way that builds your relationship, builds your dogs confidence, and teaches them to like to listen to you. We had over the years, always dogs and still have them, and we always make an effort to train them. Yes, you heard right dog training is essential. Dog training can be expensive, but there are enough courses out on the internet that cost as little as $50 and less.

What is the most common question Dog Owner's ask?

How do I get my dog to listen to me? There are many responses to that, I mean there are many answers, but one of the most important things is that you learn to be a good leader for your dog.

Why, because dogs love to listen to whoever they feel is in charge. Did you know that one of the facts is that dogs seek leadership? It is crucial that you can provide that for your dog. Your dog likes to sit back and relax and let you do all the work. Dogs do this when they feel secure. When a dog is relaxed, the dog is pleasant and is calm. People are often apprehensive about going through some of the steps that are needed to provide good leadership over their dogs. I remember when I went to dog training school with our Charly ( German Shephard ), and they ask us to implement structure or rules, a lot of questions came up from dog owners asking if the dog will still like them when they apply the rules and basic training. As if they take away some of the luxuries that they gave already to their dog. In reality, it is us who worries about those steps the dogs are perfectly fine with it.

A dog is a dog and doesn't treat it like a baby or child. A Dog's brain function is different.

I love the sentence one of the lady trainers said, please do remember that dogs are not babies, they are not kids, they are dogs. Dogs do have a whole different way of thinking, and that is why it is essential that we treat our dogs like dogs and not like kids or babies. Treating them like a baby or a kid is when it starts that you have problems and your dog will be in charge. When a dog understands the rules where is his place and where he fit in, that makes you then a good leader, you can spoil your dog rotten just like you want. ( But first, implement the ground rules are important)

How do you know whether your dog needs more leadership or not?

It is pretty easy to find out. You just need to look at how your dog is handling its freedom and the luxuries that you are giving your dog. # How good is your dog listen to you? # How well is your dog making good choices in your house around distractions or around your furniture, kids? # How well is your dog listen to you when you take your dog outside, and there is a lot of distractions? Right there it is how much respect and how well is your dog listen to you when other things could tear apart his attention from being a good dog or making good choices.

It is very common that people have dogs that are under 1 year of age and the luxuries and opportunities that those dogs are given allow the dog to make to many poor choices. What happens is that the dog learns from an early age on to many bad habits, as they been given to much freedom in the home, to many opportunities to self-aware, which means you become a bit less important in their life, therefore you are going to struggle with leadership and that causes issues.

What is then the Goal for becoming a good leader for your dog?

From the beginning, you should implement rules and structures with your puppy, as then your puppy starts to show proper behaviour. When your puppy shows than good behaviour your puppy will make good choices, you then can give your puppy more freedom and more luxuries. It is very simple to understand the more well behaved your puppy is, the better they listen, and the more opportunity your puppy gets to do his own thing. Dog Training is not difficult when you follow the rules. Dog training can be easy it doesn't need to be difficult. Get guidance with our Brain Training Program for Dogs. This program is for you when you know your dog is jumping up,not listening to you... pulling on the leash barks uncontrollablyis over excitedyou need to train a new puppyyour dog is chewing things not his toysyour dog is digging all the timeis aggressive towards other dogsis reactivehas his head in the garbage bin Brain Training for dogs...

A lot of people don't realize is that you will do a lot of things in your dog's life that your dog will view as an important resource. That can be something simple as whether your dog is allowed up on the furniture, the bed, the couch, begging on the table, what toys your dog has available to play with all the time. Does your dog have the ability to decide whether he can go outside or not, like with the use of a doggy door versus asking you to go outside first? These are all kinds of scenarios or decisions that can be made all throughout the day that either your dog can choose to do on his own, or your dog can choose to do it by himself, without your help. You can use those resources that your dog finds valuable, and you can use them to your advantage, to teach your dog that you are the leader and you are in charge of those things. This right here is a great non- confrontational way to say to your dog… If you want this, you have to come through me first, because I am the boss. But guess what it is a pretty fun thing when those things happen.

Non- Confrontational Ways to talk to your dog "I am in Charge"

Now we talk specifics of non- conferential ways you can teach your dog that you are a good leader and listen to you without you having to be a big meanie. First things first, say what you mean and mean when you speak. When you ask your dog to do a behaviour, and they deliberately ignore you, it is really important that you follow through. It could be something as simple as asking your dog to sit. If you ask your dog to sit and your dog is too busy sniffing the floor or barking at a distraction, all you need to do is repeat sit in the same kind and neutral voice you did the first time, and follow through by helping your dog to move into position. Show Passion and stay calm... But in reality what happens is that people will say "Sit, Sit, Sit," and they get louder and louder and angrier each time they ask the dog until finally the dog gets overwhelmed and learns to listen to an angry voice. I do not know about you, but I do not want to scream at my dogs for them to listen to me. What I want them to learn is that if I ask them something to do, they need to follow through.

Your follow through needs to be really calm and collected, so the dog is not getting worried or stressed. They basically just learn if Mom tells me something to do, I the dog need to listen. Another thing I recommend is trying to put your dog in situations all throughout the day where he is less likely to make poor choices. This is how I raise and train our own dogs or puppies. In my house, I control scenarios that most of the time, the dog is sort of being influenced to make good choices. I spent most of my day reinforcing, praising, playing with my dogs rather than saying leave that, leave that, don't ... No all that stuff. I try to avoid all that. But of course, if I want my dogs to understand a lesson, they make a mistake I help them with that. But I don't want that to be my primary way of delivering information. Use your Dog Crate if you have one. I might utilize things like my crate more often, a leash or a long line, you can also use baby gates when you have kids, or you want to barricade some rooms off, so your dog can not go off wandering and doing their own thing. So what that means is that you try to control the environment they are in, so that the dog is less likely to get into mischief and to learn bad things. There are other easy things you can do to show your dog that you are a good leader.

Food, Treats and Behaviour Problems.

Things like don't hand them food for no reason make them do something for it. It can be something enjoyable too like doing the trick or asking them to give the paw, sit down or lie down, and then you reward them. It is fun to give your dog a treat just because they are cute, but you are missing a perfect opportunity to teach your dog that you are a good leader and they should listen. I often had my dogs when they are young wait in their crate when I open the door, so I can quickly put on the leash before they barge out and I need to release them. With the leash, I am working with a bit of control into those scenarios. My dogs now as they are adult dogs do understand when going for a walk they need to sit and be still so I can put on the leash. You can also control your dogs' resources. Typically when you have a young dog, you should not scatter the toys around the house or home so that the dog can go and play on its own. I have chew toys, chew bones or Kong toys that aren't hurting my dogs when I am not "Paying Attention."

I always save the amusing toys for times I could play with them together. Like the tug of war, a game of fetch, but those things I wanted my puppies to associate with me. It gives it a more valuable role in the dog's life.

Dogs on the bed and dogs on the furniture.

I will be the first one to admit that my dogs and cats snuggle on the couch with me, and they sleep in our bedroom. But here is the thing I do not offer that luxury to my dogs until they have proper training and they listen really well. For the time being, if you have a dog that tends to be a bit unruly or maybe he is not listening that well to you, those are two areas you can remove from your dog as an extra luxury. For example, if your dog is up on the couch, make sure if you tell your dog to get off that your dog happily gets off the couch when you ask. Or maybe you come into the living room, and your dog is lying on the couch, you know in your spot, rather than going and find a spot somewhere else, have your dog move out of the way so you can sit there. Maybe you have your dog sleeping on a dog bed instead. Or one of my dogs sleeps in his crate in the launch room sometimes 2 dogs sleep there. If you want to go your entire dog life without letting them on the couch or bed, that is totally fine. But I suggest you wait until you established some excellent control before you allow your dog to do things like that.

The Ultimate Goal

The ultimate Goal is to be such a strong leader for your dog that when they make poor choices, we can redirect them with the simple use of your voice. Unfortunately, when you have a young dog, and everyone who went through it can relate to it, you first need to teach them that your voice has merit, there is a reason for your young dog to listen to you. Brain Training for Dogs. Click here

This comes back to the follow through comment, if your dog is making a poor choice, whether it be getting on the furniture you don't want them to, sticking his head in the garbage, barking at the people walking by the outside fence. It is crucial that when you are asking your dog not to do those particular behaviours, that you are then following through with something that's going actually to get your dog to stop. It could be utilizing your leash, and you are manoeuvring your dog away from that particular area, or taking your dog and placing him into a position if you ask your dog to sit. Try not to be repetitive with your words. Our ultimate Goal is that your dog learns to listen the first time and every time. If your ultimate Goal is to have your dog to listen to your voice without having to follow through at all, it is imperative that you have the right timing when you are going to help your dog understand these situations more clearly. For example, if your dogs head is in the garbage, and you tell your dog "leave it "try not to take 10 years across the kitchen, and remove your dogs head from the trash. Move close to them and repeat "leave it" and then follow through using the leash. Dogs learn within one second, so it is really important that when we are teaching our dogs, that we remember what time and type of information they need from us in order to be clear and not confusing.

Be careful that you are not allowing your dog to spend an extended time in the backyard, without you paying attention to your dog initially. It is important that you are not allowing your dog to have free range of the entire house so that he can get into your laundry and eat your kids' toys. Spend quality time together with your dog as much as possible so that the quantity isn't important anymore. 3 elements are very important in dog training Is to be consistentTo be clear And to be fair. If you can nail down those three elements, you are bound to be a great leader for your dog. I know it sounds a lot, and it involves passion and time, but if your dog is trained correctly, you will enjoy life with your dog. It is easier to have a dog that knows you are the leader instead of having a dog who thinks he is the pack leader. If you enjoyed my blog "My dog is in charge. How can I take back control of my dog, so he accepts me as the Pack-leader?" Check out the Brain Training for dogs. It is a great training program for dogs with behaviour problems. It is inexpensive and a great resource to train your dog,

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[aesarctic]

The Raven Boys, by Maggie Stiefvater

I reread The Raven Boys, the first book in The Raven Cycle series, by Maggie Stiefvater.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Read on Goodreads

THE SUPER NON-SPOILERY REVIEW: This is one of my all-time favourite series. This start to the series is fantastic. I highly recommend reading it. Please note that the synopsis only gives a slight fraction of what actually goes on in the book. There's so much more, and it's so, very worth it. THE NON-SPOILERY REVIEW: The characters? Awesome. The plot? Amazing. The writing style? Incredible. Everything about the book? Fantastic. Everything I said up there? 100% true. I love this book. The writing style is so different, but it works. The characters feel like actual people rather than paper dolls. THE SPOILER REVIEW:

Disclaimer: This entire review was written after my first re-read of the book. I have read the rest of the series. I will include a section at the bottom that goes over things that may spoil the other three books.

We open with a prologue, and its first sentence: "Blue Sargent had forgotten how many times she'd been told that she would kill her true love." I don't like that line. I've come to terms with it because I've read the rest of the series, and there's so much more than that plot line, but I needed to say that. The church watch is one of my favourite scenes. It's one of the moments of the book that is so mysterious. There are ghost-phantoms walking in a line like grade-schoolers, each saying their name because Blue and Neeve need to write it down on a notebook for future psychic meetings. Because their family is a bunch of real psychics. This is the beginning that I love. We meet the Original Gang in a single-file line, organized with Maggie numbering them for us. I like it. Appreciation for: "'What's Ashley?'" "We're supposed to look nice for Ashley so it's a good thing I have a grease stain on my clothing now." --Richard Campbell Gansey III Gansey isn't my favourite character, but he's so human, I can't say I dislike him. Normal book characters make it easy, but Gansey feels like a real person, and I appreciate that too much. Especially when he says lines like, "'Ask me if I found something,'" and has self-doubt moments, like where he asks Adam, "'Why? Was I so awful?'" "Am I invited?" Adam. Another character I don't love, but I definitely don't hate. Lines like this make me feel for him. With every book, there are chapters you like and chapters you don't, but with this book, no matter how subtle, every chapter is used, and I appreciate that greatly. "'Ashley, this is Gansey. Dick Gansey.'" Bond. James Bond. Gansey has so much more courage than I do--I guess that's why Maggie put him in Gryffindor. When people ask about his hobbies and interests, he tells them. I do what I can to avoid talking about what I like, knowing it'll probably be boring for the other person. Adam and Gansey's relationship is weird for me to read about. Sometimes it feels completely real, and other times it feels really plastic. Adam talks about things that Gansey left out in his mini-rant--"He left out the part how it haunted him...the midnight calls to Adam when he couldn't sleep for obsessing about his search."--and that feels so real. Noah is my favourite character. Hands down. I love how straight-forward about being dead he is, and rereading the book, it's so obvious. He mentions it casually all the time, he references it, he does things that indicate he's dead. It's one of those things you don't expect, so you don't predict it, but it's really just right there. I love how he cares for his family and friends. He made a good relationship with Ronan and Blue. He asked Blue to talk to his family for him. I hate Whelk. Also, his chapters were sort of boring to read from. I hate him for other reasons, but that was something, too. Gansey considers Noah a close friend, but I find it strange how no one knows about Noah. I talk about all of my friends all the time. Gansey talks about Adam and Ronan, but never Noah? That seems to be stretching it. Everyone sees Gansey's friend group as three people total, and I have a hard time believing none of them ever mentioned Noah in a story. It wasn't as if he never did anything. Noah was there when Ronan was building the ramp to propel his car to the moon. He was using his fingers to visualize a measurement. He at least somewhat participates in things. I didn't catch this my first time around, but Blue was so against having Raven Boy friends. I almost laughed every time she mentioned how much she hated them. "'My socially inhibited friend Adam thinks you're cute, but he's unwilling to make a move. Over there. Not the smudgy one. Not the sulky one.'" ..."One was smudge, just as he said, with a rumpled faded look about his person, like his body had been laundered too many times." So, first, foreshadowing for Noah being dead. Sometimes I forget he did have some colour to him, as everyone thinks he's alive. I always imagine him as off-white and ghost-like. There must have been more. Second, I never saw Ronan as sulky. I had to reread that a few times. Poor Gansey, trying his best to be understanding and polite and failing miserably in almost every conversation that I can remember. I love the idea of Noah babysitting Ronan. No wonder Ronan and Noah have such a good relationship (another fact I love)--they're together so often because of Noah's unpaid babysitting rig (courtesy of Gansey). Ronan and Gansey's relationship is something I'll never quite get clear. They're friends. They both respect each other, I think. They both look out for each other. Maybe? I mean, on one hand, it's a definite yes, and on the other, sometimes Ronan's anger makes it confusing. I wish we could get a full on book on how all four boys (because Noah counts) became friends with each other. I'll include that the scene where Ronan is building that ramp to the moon with Noah's help is one of my favourite friendship scenes. Not to mention Ronan grieving for Noah when he find out he's dead. This has turned into a Ronan and Noah bullet point, but whatever. I'd also like a copy of Gansey's journal. It sounds like what my sketchbook looks like, but more. I'm not a romance person whatsoever, so shout-out to Blue's curse so she can't kiss anyone. You're doing great. I know it seems like this review has no order to it, I'm sure none of my reviews have any order, but I do actually go through my book as I write this points. I just hit the point where Malory calls, and I'm here to say that I dislike Malory. I have no respect for him. He's a side-ish character that I'm sure is beneficial to the story, but gods, I wish I could just not hear about him. He doesn't appeal to me. "Whenever Gansey talked to British people about America, they always seemed to think he meant Texas." This seems accurate, to my understanding. I'm American, so I wouldn't completely know, but my dad did not grow up in the States, so I have a small understanding. I appreciate this line. Shout-out to my notes. The book says, "It rang twice before Ronan's voicemail said merely, 'Ronan Lynch.'" The way I responded was, "I can't believe Ronan put that much care into his voicemail." "Whelk was not sleeping." Good. Calla. When I first read this series, I did not have the appreciation I should have for her. I love Calla, now. All of the comments Blue makes, things like, "Calla would have put her middle finger up at them" or whatever that line was. The way Calla is just kind of like, "Oh, hey, a secret killed you father, by the way. Is that enough proof for you?" Not to mention, "Blue, don't forget we're going through Neeve's stuff Friday night. Don't forget." Other lines include, "I got his license plate number." "'No,' Calla corrected. 'Kick him in the nuts. Then run the other way.'" "She hissed, 'What are you?'" [Ronan storms out.] "'He asked for a specific. I gave him a specific. I'm sorry it wasn't puppies.'" "'Maura,' Calla said, "that was very rude.' Then she added, 'I liked it.'" "'Are you putting yourself out with the trash?'" So many nicknames for the four boys: 1) The smudgy one 2) The sulky one 3) The elegant one 4) President Cell phone 5) Soldier Boy 6) The mean one 7) The white trash one 8) Captain Frigid 9) Trailer Park Boy 10) Scholarship friend 11) The Irish one Bonus: calling Chainsaw a b*st*rd in the beginning and a pterodactyl later on. The scene where the boys make their way over to Blue's for the reading is another favourite in the book. They find out everyone's met, and everyone's dumbfounded. Blue, who isn't speaking, asks if she should leave because she's being loud (to which we know what that means) and the boys are like "What the heck are you talking about?" I'd also like to point out that when Blue mentions the difference between Gansey's and Adam's politeness, I think that's important. I love how it's the intention of the card picking. Gansey doesn't have to pick if he intends Blue to pick it. I love what that leads to, too. Blue picks her card, Gansey picks her card, Maura takes that card away, Gansey picks death. Nice. Then Gansey says, "'Actually, I don't care about that.'" Nice. "Ah, yeah, death? I know of him. He's pretty whatever." Maura: "What is this 'ley line?' I don't think I've heard of it." (Meanwhile she drew it while in the shower and visits the corpse road once a year.) *Persephone leaves the room via pie crust worries* Calla: "I'm not good with specifics" (Meanwhile, she unravels more than half of Neeve's secrets later in the book and unraveled Ronan's earlier) Shout-out to Gansey saying they're all adults there. When Noah suffers, I suffer: "Noah stood in the doorway to his room, his face pathetic and long-suffering. 'Make [the noise] stop,' he said." Shout-out: "'What the fresh hell is this?' Gansey asked pleasantly." Another all-time favourite scene: Ronan saving Gansey from the wasp. I'm not exactly sure what to say about it, but I love it. It shows friendship, I guess. Or trustworthiness? Respect for Gansey not dying? The fact that Ronan has some heart left? One of the main lines of this book is "it's starting," and it's so cliché, but it fits. Also, when Noah says, "'Don't throw it away,'" what is the "it?" I can't believe Aglionby's honour code goes as far as not having locks for the lockers. Are the students allowed to get their own locks if they want? Is that against the rules? I guess so. Shout-out to the fact that Calla's work involves Aglionby. I'd love to know more about that. I don't remember if we ever find out more about that or not. I wish I could remember, and if we don't, I wish we did. When Adam sends flowers to Blue, all that I could think of was that flowers are temporary. Flowers die. I like how Maggie goes back to Adam's accent every now and then. She even has Blue explain that bit about the word "pretty." I'm very into dialects, accents, and language, and I found that great. "'Safe as life.'" Another main line. Another great line. Helen making fun of Gansey's obsession with Henrietta gives me life. I think a lot of things that deals with the church confuse me. Gansey knows where it is because he was able to record Blue's voice while he was there. However, he constantly needs directions to get there. Also he knows the name of it and Blue doesn't. "'Ronan said, 'I'm always straight.' "Adam replied, 'Oh man, that's the biggest lie you've ever told.'" When I first read this book, I was wary. One of my friends recommended it to me. I opened it, and the writing style was different. The characters were different (human). The humour was different (and familiar). Spoiler alert: the writing style, characters, and humour are three reasons that I love this series more than many, many other series and books. I read this line, and I believe my thought process was something along the lines of, "Yes. That's it. I like this series." It's a repeated joke I hear millions of times a day, and it was so familiar and comfortable, it was nice to read it from book characters. Shout-out to the description "broccoli trees." Cabeswater is more of a character than a setting. I have an appreciation for its mysteriousness, but it's not my favourite. I've grown to like it more since I read the series for the first time, though. I love that Noah has this thing where he pets Blue's hair. I do that, too, to my friends. The moment Blue and Gansey find Noah's body, I will never forgive them. They call the police, and he's moved off the ley line. Bye, Noah. Blame your friends. I'm glad they fixed it, though, via grave robbing his bones and moving them to a creepy rundown church. Another favourite scene (the first book is full of them, I know): Gansey's confrontation with Noah about finding his body. And figuring out his last name. And that part about him being dead. Noah has this moment: he's stealing energy from Blue, and the moment he materializes, he's apologizing. He hesitates before bumping knuckles with Adam, and he's explaining that he was more when he was alive. He has a conversation with Ronan, Adam, and Blue about being dead, and you can still tell he feels bad and is confused. He doesn't remember dying--or when he stopped being alive, I should say. He then talks about Whelk, and I already don't like him (Whelk) without that part of the conversation. I have too many feels sometimes. You'd think Maura would be good at keeping her word that her and Neeve would be home at midnight. Gansey makes a point that he wants to fix Noah, and all I have are exclamation points. He wants to fix Noah. It's a Quest--capital Q. He wants that. It's a main point of his. So much is packed into the last fifty pages, and yet it doesn't feel rushed at all. The fight between Gansey and Adam. I don't know how to feel. I think Adam is supposed to be the "correct" side of the argument, but this issue is something I'm not familiar with. Adam has the right to be angry, of course. Maybe it's right to take it out on Gansey, or maybe it isn't. I'm not sure. Gansey's always trying to help, and from what I remember, he always tells the truth, but he did pay off Adam's insurance? I can see why Adam's upset, I guess. One thing, though, and this annoys me, is that Adam makes a point of Gansey's vocabulary. The entire book, Adam is telling Gansey to fix his words: use simpler words. This makes sense, as everyone wants to know what Gansey is saying. However, Gansey was raised with an excellent vocabulary. It's not a different language--it's all English--but it's almost a different branch of English. Gansey was raised on X branch while everyone else was raised on Y branch. Of course Gansey's X-branch words are going to be different. Of course he's going to need correcting. Of course this is going to take time to correct. They've only known each other for a year, and it will take longer than a year. What I'm getting at is while it's okay for Adam to ask for clarification, I don't think he should use it as a target point during the argument. I'm sure Adam is very annoyed at Gansey's vocabulary, and I understand why, but I still don't think it's right. And this leads me to how Gansey responds to Adam lashing out at it: "'This is the way I talk. I'm sorry your father never taught you the meaning of repugnant. He was too busy smashing your head against the wall of your trailer while you apologized for being alive.'" This was too far. I knew it, Adam knew it, Gansey knew it. It was addressed as too far. Everyone knew it wasn't okay. I don't think I need to discuss why, but I just wanted to say that while I can rant for two paragraphs on one point of Adam's, I'm not excusing these lines that Gansey says. All of the characters have flaws. Every single one. Everyone is trying to fix themselves and figure out themselves and become better people. That's human. That's excellent writing. Towards the end of the book, we see a lot of that. Appreciation for Blue calling out for Noah when she gets to Monmouth, and then Noah commenting on Blue's hair. It's not that Adam has bad intuition or anything--he knew he needed to do something about the ley line. It's just that he thought he had to wake it up. It was good he left to wake it up, otherwise things would have ended badly with Neeve and Whelk, but there must have been something else Adam could do. And then he became Cabeswater's eyes and ears, and that was something else. Appreciation for Noah's concern for Adam. I wish I had kept track of everyone who said things are changing. Maura, Ronan, Gansey? Blue? I think there were others, too. Adam, maybe? Whelk missing Noah is very strange. I think he misses the idea of Noah. Not the actual Noah. I love when they go to Noah's funeral and everything after. The interaction of Blue with his family (I have this theory that "I'm sorry I drank your birthday schnapps" is a code for something in the Czerny family), the later grave robbing, putting Noah's bones in the ground at the church, everything Noah says and is when he reappears. Maybe I really like Noah. Maybe he's my favourite character. SPOILERS FOR THE NEXT THREE BOOKS: Disclaimer: All page numbers for The Raven Boys (TRB) is for the paperback copy. -"'Gansey,' he said. ...'That's all there is.'" (page 15; TRB) "'Gansey,' he said. 'That's all there is.'" (page 417; TRK - hardback) -The entire interaction when Gansey goes in for his reading. We know what the third choice may be with Adam. We know what Calla means about Ronan's father. We know what death and Gansey mean. -When Adam gave Blue the flowers (page 81), my first thought was that flowers are temporary. They die. Almost like Blue and Adam's romantic relationship. Foreshadowing? Looking too deep into it? Who knows -"Ronan, I want you to tell me again what you'd found out about dreamtime and song lines." (page 233) -There are many tiny hints to Ronan creating Cabeswater -Adam and Ronan have many thoughts about each other. First thoughts. Their relationship is foreshadowed this way. -Blue makes a mental note to look out for Gansey being one for levity. I don't know if she does look out for that in the future, but I'd like to know if she does. (page 358) I've heard that you should read The Raven King before rereading this book. I did not have time for that, but next time! I'll see if there's any more foreshadowing. In the meantime, if someone else would like to tell me any foreshadowing they found in this book, I'd love to hear it! EDIT: I need to add more. The characters are so thought out, real, and human. Maybe I mentioned this, but I have an incredibly hard time hating people. I don't have an incredibly hard time hating book characters, movie characters, or TV show characters. They're too flat. They're like the emotions from Inside Out. But these characters are so different. I can't hate any of them. I feel bad disliking some more than others. Let's take Adam, for example. Out of the four boys, he's my least favorite. Except he's not. It's so blurry and unclear. How do I feel about Adam? Sometimes I like him and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I find him relateable and sometimes I don't. And every character is like that! They're all so human! It's incredible! I love it! And the setting is so well done. Setting the tones for each place: Cabeswater, 300 Fox Way, the diner Blue works at, Aglionby. All of it. I mean, especially Cabeswater, I really like Cabeswater. The plot gets a little iffy for me, but it still works so well. Everything's a huge 3D puzzle. It has ups and downs and isn't flat, but it fits together. In real life, everything affects something. In this book, everything affects something.

[snarktheater]

Book review — Stranger Than Fanfiction

After loving Chris Colfer's Land of Stories series, I picked up his latest book without a second thought. What a fool I was.

You know how "don't write a self-insert" is such a common writing advice that it has people arguing against it, and not unreasonably so, on the grounds that any character one writes has an element of oneself, and desperately trying to avoid that only results in trite, flat characters because you have no real experience to ground them in?

Yeah, well this book reminds you why it's a common advice in the first place. Oh, but don't worry, it also does so much more wrong! It's like a massive clusterfuck of "why do you waste my time so?" Really, this could have had its own snark. You've been warned.

Stranger Than Fanfiction is the story of five characters. Or, really, four plus one characters. Four kids just out of high school, who are faced with the dramatic change of going to college, being split from their best friends by virtue of going to live all across the States, and each with one (1) personal conflict. It's paint-by-the-numbers character arc for a coming of age story…or at least, that's the concept. But before I get to the details, we also have our fifth protagonist, Cash Carter, who's an uber-popular actor famous for a series aimed at young adults and totally not the author's avatar. Ahem.

The plot is this: out four kids are Christopher "Topher" Collins (who may or may not be a second self-insert, yes, really), Sam Gibson, Joey Davis, and Moriko "Mo" "I couldn't be bothered to use my Japanese character's full name, and I don't know if that reflects more badly on my characters or myself as an author, but probably both". They're going on a road trip together before college, and Cash crashes the trip after Topher sends him a heartfelt letter (which he has for most of his teenage years). If you have issues with this premise, congratulations on realizing that an actor hanging out with teenage fans is a little bit creepy and not…whatever the book thinks it is, exactly.

Cash is essentially a Manic Pixie Dream…Celebrity, for lack of a better term. His role in the plot is to provide each of our protagonist with an easy out to their issues (and don't worry, I'll get back to that in a moment), while vomiting bitter thoughts about the famous life. Considering his viewpoints are never even challenged by the narrative, it's hard to feel like this is anything but the author's own thoughts. That, or Chris Colfer is actually a mediocre author who got a publishing deal solely based on his pre-established fame, but that could never happen. His style totally doesn't have a million amateur mistakes that a professional should have caught, either.

But really, even if these aren't the author's views and he's just presenting an argument in abstract…he doesn't really do that well, either. Because he lumps together paparazzi and rabid, stalking fans on one hand (which…is a problem) with critics, of all things. How dare people hold you accountable, right? It's not like everyone is accountable to someone, and the only difference when you're a celebrity is scale, because 1) more attention means more people you're accountable to and 2) more influence means your actions have bigger consequences.

And it's really hard to feel sad for Carter who just "can't even be young" (because being young always entails wild partying, sex, and drugs, right?). I'm sorry, but the guy is, in universe, filthy rich and headlining the most popular show on television. And if that doesn't make up for it, keep in mind that he could just…you know, keep it on the down low. What most teenagers who act up have to do anyway, if only because they don't want their parents to find out.

Look, it's not like our society has no legit issues with its handling of celebrities. Yes, privacy is something everyone deserves. Yes, sex negativity is bad, and our relationship to recreational drug use needs a serious change towards a more accepting stance that will lead to more responsible use. But it's really hard to care about any of that when it's presented like…this:

You know it's bad when there's a dead meme that already makes fun of what you're doing.

If you agree with anything I just said, well, your enjoyment of this book is compromised, because Cash Carter rants often, a lot, and keeps using the same talking points. It's almost embarrassing—or it would be if it wasn't so annoying too. If you needed to vent, writing a novel wasn't the solution, Mr Colfer.

Okay, that's one protagonist out of the way. Let's look at our coming of age stories for this book, how our Manic Pixie Dream Whiner comes into them, and why it all fails so, so very hard.

The easiest is Topher, because…well, he doesn't really have a problem. I mean, he does, but it's not an internal problem, because I guess the author knows what a coming of age story is, what a character arc is, but not which character arcs work for a coming of age story. So Topher has a sick younger brother and a single mom to take care of both of them. His "problem", if you can call it that, is that he's staying in his hometown to go to a lesser college to help his mom take care of his brother. Wow.

Next is Sam. Sam is a trans boy in the closet. So far in the closet that, until his gender is "revealed" in his first PoV chapter, he's actually referred to by "she" pronouns (including in said PoV), which I'm fairly certain is a bad idea. You're literally using the narration to perpetuate the idea that being trans is a "twist", a surprise. Or dare I say…a trap? That's probably not the intent, mind you, but it's still what it comes across. Sam also has the distinction that Topher has a crush on him. More on that in a moment.

Joey is our token black gay. I mean, token black guy who happens to be gay. He's gay. That's his conflict. Well, specifically, he's gay and his family is very religious and openly homophobic, but still. Also, he plans to get laid during the road trip.

Finally, we have Moriko. As you might have guessed, I'm already annoyed that the book consistently refers to her as "Mo", because it sounds a lot like Japanese names are just too complicated for this book. As another token (and yes, she and Joey really feel like tokens rather than part of a diverse cast), she also has a pretty weak conflict. Basically, she wants to go to a writing school, her dad wants her to go to a "serious" college instead, to have a career that makes money and stuff. I'm pretty sure it's a racial stereotype of some kind.

So how does this all play out? Well, I'm glad you asked. Three of our protagonists are keeping a secret, and they all eventually confess that secret to Cash, even though Cash proves to be a giant, self-absorbed asshole. That actually sort of works, and even starts like a pretty standard character arc. But then there's the resolution. Which is to say: Cash outs all of their secrets. At once. To everyone else.

Considering two of three secrets are characters in the closet, we already have a very bad start. Outing people is not okay, you guys. Don't do it. Even if you're 1000000% positive that it won't have negative consequences, just…don't do it. If someone came out to you, they trusted you with a very important secret, do not betray that trust.

But on a pure writing level, this is also…very weak. It means the characters don't progress or grow; instead, they're just forced to deal with the consequences of their secret being out in the open. It forces three of your four protagonist to be reactive characters instead of proactive ones; and since the fourth protagonist is completely passive, he's not faring much better.

So after that "climactic" (using the term very generously) reveal, we follow…Topher, the guy who had nothing bad happen to him. Well, okay, his crush on Sam was also put out in the open, but come on, that doesn't count. All he has to deal with is knowing that his crush is a boy, and the book phrases it in the most ambiguous way possible that ends up kind of implying he still sees Sam as a girl, kind of, sort of? He says he wants them to be "gray" (as in, in a gray area) together, even though Sam's gender is pretty clear-cut and there's a word for a person who's attracted to girls and boys. It's "bisexual". It's not used in the book at all.

The rest of the cast? Well, now that their secret is out to their best friends, I guess they're suddenly fine coming out to the rest of the world too. Or, in Moriko's case, to just tell her dad no, and to emotionally blackmail him into accepting her choice. But that's okay, because the end justifies the means?

Meanwhile, Joey's kicked out of his home, but Topher's family takes him in and his mom will still talk to him…just, you know, not at home and while trying to make sure she's not seen by anyone. Yes, this is a thing that happens and it's treated as a joke that Joey's mom is ashamed to meet him. Ha ha ha. Sam's mom (also a single parent, it's kind of weird how three of the protagonists have those) accepts her son, on the other hand. And yes, there's something a little weird about how both white protagonists have wonderful accepting parents and get everything they want, while both the black boy and Japanese girl have awful parents and lose something to get their happy ending. It just reeks of "you didn't even stop to think about it, did you?"

As for the resolution of Cash's character…if you can call if that…well, he was dying of cancer the whole time, and all his acting up was the result of wanting to live his life to the fullest before dying. He also leaves huge sums of money to the protagonist (after they forgive him) so they can all go for their respective dreams (and in Topher's case, abandon his mom and brother guilt-free). A true Manic Pixie Dream Celebrity to the end. And was that really the best use of his money? Just because they were the only four to "see him as a person"? Way to imply the rest of the fandom all dehumanize you.

Problem is: Cash didn't earn his forgiveness. He was horrible, he keeps being horrible, but now we know he's dying and that changes everything? Yeah, no. You can enjoy life to the fullest without being a jackass to everyone around you. Neither did the protagonists earn their happy endings. And if they don't earn it, it means the coming of age…didn't happen, basically.

Oh, and speaking of coming (yes, I had to make that joke). I mentioned that Joey was planning to lose his virginity during the road trip. Yeah, I have to address this separately. See, Sam and Moriko tell Cash their secrets in fairly drama-free circumstances, but Joey doesn't even choose to tell him. Instead, while he's meeting a guy from a hook-up app (who turns him down after puzzling out that Joey is an eighteen-year-old closeted virgin), he just happens to be spotted by Cash.

That scene…drips with good sentiment, but honestly, I hated it. The whole "don't have sex if you're not ready" message is fine, but Joey doesn't feel like someone who isn't ready. He'd been chatting with his date for a while before even leaving, he'd done his research about preparation and safety…he very much sounds ready to me. But no, he's not doing it with someone he's in love with, and therefore it's not good. It ends up reeking of "casual sex is bad", which, considering how much Cash complains when people criticize him for having sex, feels hypocritical. Doesn't help that this is absolutely what the author thinks, since Joey gets that talk from both his date and then from Cash. And after that scene, Joey no longer expresses the desire to have sex at all. This was an informed choice, and it was Joey's to make, so I hate that the book just takes it away from him. Sounds like you need some sex positivity of your own, book.

Stranger than fanfiction is…well, first of all, it doesn't really live up to its title. Oh, we certainly get a title drop at the end, but the events are very much not stranger than fanfiction. If anything, it only highlights another major flaw about this book: that it's clearly written by someone who knows about fandom and fanfiction…but only from the outside, as a celebrity who is the object of both instead of a creator or consumer of either. So not only does it fail at basic storytelling, it also fails at portraying the protagonists for who they're supposed to be.

On the plus side, at least now I'm cured of my ridiculous celebrity crush on Chris Colfer. Hurray for small victories!