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#i mean it's constant in the background
h0k0u5 · 29 days
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drew this at 3am in pitch black
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Kang Yo Han is the walking embodiment of I'm Not Okay (I Promise) and relates to Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge far more than is healthy. In this essay I will-
#twabbbiih's edit#tdj#the devil judge#tw blood#kang yohan#kang yo han#a character study via legendary emo classic Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge#I put so much effort into this I really hope the fandom enjoys it#I know I don't exactly go here in a big way but guys please#girl does a tdj rewatch for the fun of it and spirals so far into making bad edits she has to try and figure out how to just get the text#from an album cover to make a mock one like some unhinged loser who barely knows how editing software works#you guys have NO IDEA#I spent an entire night pestering mid-n0vember about how this album is perfect for KYH 2 years ago and so finally I did something about it#to the end has especially been rattling around my brain for WAY TOO LONG because that is not a house or home to KYH#it's a constant reminder of the people he's lost and the horrors he suffered due to the utter shithead that was his father#ive been debating between 2 edits i did for that song for two nights and I've ended up picking the more literal one because I didn't want#too many close up images of peoples faces for this. but just know there is a file on this laptop of kyh crying while hes literally haunted#by memories of his father#I really did try to use a shot from the knife scene for the album cover because it would have been SO GOOD as a mirror to the original albu#however my editing skills are not good enough to make the background less distracting and I'm working with not HD images so it looked worse#so a moments silence for what could have been#no one asked but its 2am and that means oversharing so#Interlude absolutely had to be the on a line by itself because despite everything else going on with KYH keeping Elijah save is Rule One#it's supposed to kind of overshadow everything else because keeping her safe and unaware of Certain Things absolutely does for him#whether it actually translates is a different matter#kgo being on his knees (yet again) is what swung it for that picture otherwise it would have been kyh looking on as jae hee grabs her
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regallibellbright · 3 months
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It occurs to me that “in fairly neutral amounts of pain today” is a statement that probably should not be taken as the “overall, pretty good!” I intend it as, even if I suspect the person I said it to will.
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jrueships · 7 months
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tbh tho i think my art is fugly af LMFAO
#not in a '>w< eeeek! i wish i could drawww 🥺 i can only cobble such measle crap with my lowly peasant paws.. *unveils mona lisa*'#sense but like a my style makes me want to hurl whenever i look at it bcs it's a constant reminder that it can only be what i can make it be#and bcs it looks bad to me then that means i cant make things look good if u get my sense like#idk man 😭!! im just sick of being scribbly!! and not clean! i wanna ink my art! have crisp lines! dark lines!!#not have to put stupid darkening filters on everything bcs i cant color or shade so my art is just stuck with the blinding white background#well the frustration is more how i CAN color and shade.. i CAN ink my lines with a darker one#lets not excuse my laziness now cmon ted omg dumbass bitch#it's just that doing so makes me . crazy#my attention span like. crumbles when i try to add color or ink over lines bcs thats Such a commitment to me#i HATE leaving things unfinished when it seems so monumental#like unfinished sketches or prompts? fine. those are sketches. little prompts. even if u post it it's shit#but starting big things is a COMMITMENT.. with CONSEQUENCES ! ! i just want to avoid them ig#it's like im stuck between art being a fun lil past time and being a perfectionist actually so no. no it is not#but also i NEED to draw i NEED to write SOMETHING! SOMETHING!! then i realize the weight of things and purposefully hinder myself#then later hate myself for hindering even tho it felt so good and right in the beginning ORGHH or WHATEVER#idk one of my friends told me my style reminded them of the new tmnt movie (which has been praised yeah#for like beautiful ugliness tho) and like. i KNOW it's a compliment... but. why did it make me Feel 😭 like i wanted to rip my art 2 shreds#once i lined my art and my friend (an artist i admire) said smthin like 'omg finally! ted lined art! gorgeous!'#& i KNOW. I KNOW IT'S A COMPLIMENT. BUT WHY AM I THINKING LIKE. SO VIOLENT. NOT ABT THEM. BUT MY SHIT NOW#like UGHHH i just HATE feeling trapped and helpless when actually theres help available but im just DUM!! JUST LINE UR ART TED#art is like playing sport is like making good grades is like working well is like being a good friend is like being a good person#literally. just be GOOD.#it's all a performance to me ARGHARGH! I HATE THE JOKER! I HATE BEING CRINGE@! RAGGHH I HATE THIS SHIT#<- mfs when no basketball#mfw i cannot avoid enlightenment via the meaningless distractions i codepently craveRAGGHG!!!!!!1!
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this is not directed at any specific person, i’ve seen this countless times in countless iterations for months. but i really genuinely think people should stop and consider their desire to comment on how they think wolfwood should bulk up in stampede s2 every time it might be mildly topical.
i don’t think anyone i see saying this means it any less than genuinely a comment on what they would appreciate in his character design. but.
at a certain point (especially in conjunction with the racialization and design drift of wolfwood in fanart) it’s hard not to hear it as discomfort with specifically the man of color in the cast not being suitably (western standard) masculine and/or sexually appealing.
there is only so much “his tits need to be jacked” and “beef him up for s2” and “he better be HOT and RIPPED like he’s SUPPOSED TO BE” before it starts to get a little bit uncomfortable.
no one has anything particular to say about vash looking like a svelte twink until he takes his coat off, when he and wolfwood are built almost exactly the same in trimax. mentioning vash’s appearance never receives a slew of “but his shoulders should be broader. where are his biceps. HIS TIT SHOULD BE JACKED” like mentioning wolfwood’s does.
just. maybe consider it. for a couple seconds. why it is that it’s very important to repeatedly mention that you think stampede wolfwood is insufficiently performing masculinity and/or sex appeal. and if that’s not what you think you’re saying. that’s still how it sounds.
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divinekangaroo · 5 months
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Good lord writing Alfie is difficult that bloody cadence
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olessan · 6 months
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I love the fact that I can work as hard as I can manage with a broken tooth and a dying tooth (one on each side, I've been chewing on the cavity for a year) and I still cannot save even $10 towards getting dental treatment (2 impacted wisdom teeth, + tooth broken off under the gum, + bad cavity) because I barely make enough to cover my food and board and the insane energy bill
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#I'm just ranting don't mind me it's fine I am continuing to exist as usual I may delete this later bc it's a bit of a bummer to read#I prefer to keep my blogging to fun or otherwise nonserious content because it's supposed to be for decompression no real world drama here#I got into a 3 hour body language study and earned $50 so I spent that as fun money on a couple games during the Steam sale just to#take a break from the constant cycle of getting paid and then immediately saying goodbye to all but about 15 cents#(well it was 1 game Slime Rancher 2 and then 2 expansion packs one for Planet Zoo and another for Cities Skylines long play hours mileage)#I've tried to budget to buy small things like a fan or a toothbrush maybe (mine is 8yrs old and doesn't charge sometimes) but NOPE#let alone stashing away over $2000 for the amount of treatment I need given tooth extractions are $200-$500 each#I use about $50 of groceries a week ($30 USD) sometimes up to $80 if I need to buy some extra toiletries or bonuses like ham/falafel/bread#our last quarterly power bill was $1900 FOR NO REASON even for a winter one#olessan oration#the work I have is HIT/mturk type work which pays amazingly well and I am so grateful because I can't work in a traditional environment due#my inability to sleep/wake on anyone else's schedule and need for engaging work but it also means each worker is basically a contract worke#picking their own hours which is VERY HARD to stick to for me since I may also have ADHD-i but that diagnosis also costs like $2000 in Aus#so I'm doing my best fucking lmao#I have a set minimum hours I want to keep up to and move to full time but I am so exhausted by the constant background noise of#the tooth problems that I burn out very quickly#like the tooth ache isn't that bad#the tooth is actively dying but the pain isn't unbearable it just shits me off at all times#it's bearable most of the time and doesn't affect my sleep unless the temp is cold or something#it's been bad this week tho so I've gone through almost all my ibuprofen managing it#the tooth that broke off broke off earlier in the year and the gum has mostly healed over and the dead root is concealed inside my gums now#that stopped being painful in mid 2021 but when it died it was pretty bad it did stop me sleeping for a couple weeks#Christmas 2021 involved me contemplating ripping the tooth out myself lmao#the nerve eventually died seemingly without an abscess#unless I DID have an abscess but that seems extremely unlikely because abscesses are SEVERE AND HORRIBLE AND LIFE THREATENING#sometimes I can feel the tooth ligament wiggling on its own or I like flex it by accident it's so weird bc the tooth is gone so#the ligament is still holding onto the root but with way less weight#anyway I am eating my mac n cheese n veg with the side that has the missing tooth because the cavity tooth has a big bruise along the gumli#gumline which may be from overzealous brushing (I fill the tooth will temporarily filling putty and it needs to be cleaned well when the#putty falls out)
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namimikan · 9 months
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mmkay, so. something suitor armor does consistently is criticize people with privilege -- it does so with lucia, with reimund, with kirsi
i just. idk. i just don't feel like it's quite as scathing to reimund for his ignorance, as it is towards kirsi or lucia, like maybe it's a thing later to unpack, or it happens in an upcoming chapter and be like. can more people actively get mad at reimund and his passive choices within the manhwa, bc most people seem fairly willing to mollycoddle him, and push him to the 'right' direction.
like he is witnessing shocking things, the unjust treatment of the fairies, the willingness to be an elf rather than a fairy, all to live
doesn't quite feel quite as condemnatory, tho?
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mentally ill people who for whatever reason end up wearing the same exact clothing so many days in a row that it begins to disintegrate and will still not stop wearing it until it’s literally just scraps of fabric VS. those weird shitty rich people who ‘’can’t be seen in the same outfit twice’’ human dichotomy 
#poast brought to you by my pants that are missing an entire leg and completely open in the back and the front almost#to the point they could not really be considered pants anymore (I wear lots of layers so i have shorts under them but lol)#I tore them again sitting down and it made me introspect about when it's time to throw clothes out and how everyone has different standards#and etc. Like how some people will get stains on clothing and just throw it away#.where others will keep wearing stained stuff if they have an attachment to it. etc. etc.#or like One hole in jeans is okay but 20 holes is Crossing A Line - unless they were made that way as a fashion trend#which then made me think about those people who like.. change clothes multiple times a day and never want to rewear stuff#and just have a constant stream of fast fashion etc. Anyway. not a real dichotomy. just being silly. i like to think about humans behaviors#brggghghb.. still not being very productive as I just keep having flare up after flare up of various chronic issues I have so I'm feeling#sick like every few days but always for different reasons. As if something has increased the general  inflammation in my entire body#and its just bopping around making different things worse here and there. but I'm not sure of any underlying cause.#theorectially could always be stress since I am often stressed but I don't feel stressed more than usual. I have no infection markers#on blood tests and my covid tests so far have been negative. I guess my body just felt like 'hey happy new year. would you like.. uhm...#some... Problems.. as a treat? OuO''#I mean I'm lucky at this point that I don't have a condition that makes me completely bedridden or something and am grateful for that but#having so many smaller issues in the background overlapping all the time can be ehxausting and make it feel like a larger issue#because you just never get a break. once one problem clears up it's another. etc. modifying diet. supplements. doctors. new issue. new modif#ications. new doctors. new this#new that. etc. For my body to reach some sort of non-inflammed stable state I feel like I'm going to have to just be suspended in a gladd#*glass antigravity chamber for 3 years eating nothing but basic gruel and iv liquids. something so bland and so untriggering of anything#that literally nothing can be inflammed or etc. lol.. Though I'd probably still somehow have joint pain even with nogravity.#ANYWAY... I did finally edit a new sims video. for the few of you that follow my sims youtube. I have costumes totally ready to post I just#literally havent had the energy to queue up the photos. STILL WORKING ON EVIL WORLDBULDING SLIDESHOW task of  epic proportions#. other videos. other stuff. I've had to spend some time on social stuff since I really ned to get started finding friends in the potential#places I'd like to move so I know people when I get there. as it takes me like years to trust someone. but hjgh... I am so like. inherently#unrelatable to the average person. at least the avg people on friend making sites and stuff. I even made a perosnal compatibility quiz#but again.. thats something most people don't do lol... ''buhh just text snapchat me & get to know me through conversation why should i take#a 15 minute quiz up front?'' shut up. i woudl LOVE to take a custom compatibility quiz before talking to someone. its efficent. you will nev#er get it. that is a positive to me. if only anyone else did that. if only. (I'm being jokingly rude. its perfectly reaosnable for people to#have different standards and communication styles. etc. etc. lol) ANYWAY.. tldr me sleepy and feel bad no productive wehh
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pastelaspirations · 10 months
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As a break from homework trying to murder me, it is time. Don't gamble, kids, it's not good for you. I'm just doing it 'cus I sold my soul to this game a long time ago.
I don't think I've wished since like... Baizhu?? So, a long freaking time ago. BUT, I'VE BEEN WAITING. WAITING FOR THIS SPUNKY MAGICIAN LAD SINCE I SAW HIM IN THAT ONE TRAILER, ALSO A LONG FREAKING TIME AGO.
They reminded me of my main in another game. As such, I had to wish for them. If you know/remember this game, you're a legend. ;_;
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I thought Lyney was going to be a dual player like character with Lynette. Like, it'll be Lynette's turn when you do the elemental skill, both of them jump out for the burst as "The Grand Finale," etc. etc. Alas, they were not. But it doesn't matter, I had to wish for them.
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I got him and I still have enough gems to gamble in the future. Fontaine coming out with some nice characters smh. Gonna drain my gems dry.
Behold, whatcha think of my team. >:) Don't worry, Lyney and Lynette are in training, they won't be baby levels forever. ;_;
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This new team select and character animations and everything is amazing, man, I love it so much-
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sarah-dipitous · 2 years
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low key jealous of people whose blorbos have completed arcs. the way y’all don’t have to constantly stress about them and either know they’re safe and happy OR know you can pretend canon doesn’t exist.
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leaveharmony · 1 year
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Every once in a while I am forcibly reminded how much I love Tanahashi Hiroshi
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appsa · 2 years
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.
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bitegore · 2 years
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8, 16, 22? for the fic asks
These three sound like they're pretty specific, so I'm gonna answer for the Stunticons/TMNT roleswap au because that's the one I'm thinking about today.
8. Which character is gonna have the biggest storyline?
Toss-up for sure, but probably Motormaster - he's the biggest driver of the seasonal plots. There are two "seasons" - the structure of it is like a 20-episode season written in evergreen "monster of the week with seasonal plot tie-in" format because I enjoy that a lot - and the first season is "we want to secure Megatron's approval by proving ourselves in the field of battle" -> Motormaster is the one who really cares That Much. Motormaster is the one who tells them about Megatron in the first place because he's the one who remembers everything with him the most clearly, and Motormaster is the one who refuse sto want anything other than Megatron's Approval(tm). Season 2 is where Motormaster actually gets to have a character arc because the plot of season 2 is "we're gonna kill Megatron because fuck him, we're mad at him now" -> Motormaster has to regain some sense of purpose now that he knows Megatron never gave a flying fuck about any of them and would happily see him and his team fucking die, and learns to be his own person and a much better team leader.
Paradoxically, everyone else gets to have way more in the way of character arcs than Motormaster, but Motormaster's arcs basically are the plot. What he wants is what they do; he's the boss. So it really does wind up with him being essentially the leader of the storyline despite the fact that it focuses more on the others up until season 2.
16. Is there any written scene that you think about a lot?
I have literally written 0 scenes in this series jsdkdfhl. I've been poking at episode 1 today but not seriously.
22. Will this fic include more angst or more fluff?
This fic will feature my patented blend of bleak ass black humor and a fucking toxically large dose of dramatic irony. Everyone is fucked in the head and terrible to each other and they're a horrible little family and they love each other and they show this love and affection by hitting each other really hard where it hurts.
So, like
definitely more angst. But funny angst! Angst that demands you laugh every time they fall down. While wanting them to win. While genuinely wanting better for them, while thinking they're actually pretty alright and they need to be better to each other (and they keep getting better and working better and being nicer to each other!)
Questions can be found here :D
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spykesdykegf · 2 years
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midnights-wish · 1 month
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i think my neighbours are having a party -- i can hear the music from here & i can't help but wonder when they're done 'cause i want to go to sleep soon :/
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