What’s William Afton’s problem in FNAF….
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
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Found out this Saturday that if you make a PowerPoint to summarize one piece in over 24 hours on not-very-good-wifi, you can only summarize up to the end of Marineford and it will take about 2.5 hours
Also apparently if you speak nonstop for 2.5 hours your voice Will Go Hoarse. Who knew
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Me: ugh why am I struggling so much. Surely the heat isn’t affecting me that much.
My POTSy ass checking my smart watch:
Me: …never mind.
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Some fact checks about plurality
The "Bible of psychiatry" is the DSM. In 1994, the DSM changed the name of Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) to Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). This was in response to a moral panic where critics claimed that the condition was fake.
The original and current diagnostic criteria do not require trauma for DID (or MPD) (DSM-III, p. 259; DSM-III-R, p. 272; DSM-5-TR, p. 331).
The international counterpart of the DSM is the ICD-11. Its essential features for DID do not require trauma, either.
Both books say that not all cases of multiple personalities are a disorder or a severe impairment. Psychiatry recognizes that medicalizing them is not always appropriate.
Plurality (or multiplicity) is a community umbrella term for many ways of being more than one person in a body. Psychiatrists who know enough about DID are aware of it. Plurality includes but is not the same as DID.
The community has always included plurals who formed for reasons other than trauma. Dividing the community by excluding non-traumagenic plurals and calling them fake is new. That only started in August 2014 on Tumblr, unheard of elsewhere.
When that started, a trauma-caused DID system created the word "endogenic." This means plurals who formed naturally rather than from trauma. The Lunastus Collective coined it in solidarity with them.
(Similarly, the coiner of another umbrella term, "alterhuman," is a member of a traumagenic OSDD system who supports endogenic plurals. The purpose of that word is for plural systems to unite with other sorts who differ from usual definitions of human individual, valuing what we do and do not have in common, instead of in-fighting about who is more legitimate.)
Community historian LB Lee gives several good reasons why-- as trauma-surviving plurals-- they choose not to call themselves "traumagenic" or divide the community by origins. If I may briefly paraphrase a couple of these: If you see suffering as your whole foundation of who you are, then you have a more difficult time envisioning a better situation. If you want others to respect you, a losing strategy is to put down people who are seen as similar to you.
Neither psychiatry nor the greater community of plurals see trauma history as an important distinction in determining whether someone is plural.
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something I find extremely well done with Halsin's character is his sexuality. i've been thinking about it on and off but I wanted to write out my thoughts on the matter because it's really well done!
it's rare to find a good representation of a character with high libido in video games. most of the time it's either used as a tool or as a representation of 'sin'. to be fair, most games don't focus on it and don't put it at the forefront, but Larian has gone far and beyond to include intimacy and questions around sex in their game and showed a whole array of very different people with very different tastes. they showed a whole spectrum, from asexuality to the very other end.
with Halsin, his drive is never judged. it's a big part of his character, but not because he's obsessed with it or it's all he thinks about - it's simply a thing he enjoys doing, it makes him feel good and he likes making other people feel good. you can tell it's one of the ways he connects with those he cares about.
and the thing is, he's never judged. he's not the butt of the joke for his desires, it's a part of his druidic nature as well as a part of self. it's beautiful!
he is also so extremely good about boundaries and a healthy discussion of expectations. he never steps over any lines, he is always keeping a door open for more discussion if necessary, he never pushes but he also respects himself greatly. he shows vulnerability when it feels safe to do so.
and like i said, while it's a big part of him, it's also not his whole personality. he is an experienced man who knows what he's about, he is touched by awful trauma, both from his youth but also his more recent times, but his sexuality is not the product of it - it's just who he is.
i love finding mature characters in video games as i myself get older and I love watching devs tackle characters who had a chance and time to grow and become something, someone. in this case, Halsin is so well done, it raises the bar very high for me.
all in all, I'm just really glad they turned him into a proper companion and expanded his story. i know the joke is to thank the "thirsty fans", but really, Larian did very well with him and I think they gave him a very good part in this amazing adventure while also representing a lot of people who are condemned as sex-crazed by the society but are actually just. people.
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wow so I have like 3 analysis in progress that touch on this topic but I really need to just talk about it rn with its own spotlight.
Aziraphale has this entire life that he's built for himself on earth, after armageddon he's thriving. When we catch up with him in Season 2 his first scene is literally him going to check in with one of his tenants, and throughout the season we see that he has a decent relationship with nearly Everyone on the block. He has an entire life for himself all hashed out and pretty.
Crowley... does not. His cold open in Season 2 is back in St. James park, checking in with Shax, finding out the gossip on Hell. He doesn't have his apartment, he only has his Bentley and the few plants he could fit in it. He doesn't have any other human friendships. His entire life and everything he loves to do is built entirely around Aziraphale.
This is something that I just find so fucking thrilling because when it comes to their characters and where exactly they are in their arcs right now, it's essentially like looking into a mirror.
Aziraphale knows exactly who he is when he's on his own. He nurtures his own relationships with humans he sees often, he's a nice landlord, he loves books and classical music, and hot cocoa. But, Aziraphale still holds onto the ideals of heaven. He still cares about doing good and being forgiving. He still cowers and jumps at the opportunity to help heaven, not because he wants to but because he's supposed to because he's still an angel.
Crowley has nothing. He has his car, which he drives to a secluded location to park every night, only to drive it right back in the morning. He's only even vaguely recognizable because people associate him with Aziraphale and this is fine for him, he could care less. He doesn't really need to know who he is or process his traumas, why would he when he can put all his attention and focus and love and care directly into Aziraphale? His friend, who has always been his friend, the one person who has always stood by him. Who cares about heaven and hell, he has Aziraphale.
When we finally see them on their own and without the influences of their head offices, we see the opposite of what we'd expect, and nearly the opposite of the outcome we see in episode 6. Crowley is the one constantly checking in with Hell (wether he likes it or not), and Aziraphale is the one who's living care free without even thinking about heaven. When he does something good that he wants to report, he just calls Crowley.
this whole dance of Crowley not knowing who he is without Aziraphale and Aziraphale knowing who he is fundamentally but not knowing how to break free from the confines of Heaven that stop him from truly embracing Crowley in the end, it's just so delicious.
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(miraculous s5 spoilers)
I do find it really funny how miraculous s5 goes from 0 to 100 like, REAL fast. The season starts off all, “Monarch may be powerful, but Ladybug and Chat Noir are finally gonna KICK HIS BUTT!” and by the end it’s like, “GABRIEL AND TSURUGI HAVE LOCKED UP ADRIEN AND KAGAMI. ADRIEN AND FELIX ARE SENTIMONSTERS. GABE IS FORCING HIS OWN “PERFECTION” DRUG ON EVERYONE. NATHALIE IS DYING. CHLOE’S BEEN HUMBLED. LILA HAS THE BUTTERFLY MIRACULOUS. GABE GOT THE LADYBUG AND BLACK CAT MIRACULOUS AND THE WORLD EXPLODED AND HE’S REVERED AS A HERO AND ADRIEN KNOWS NOTHING.”
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Thinking about Them (ships)
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911 being tumblr's new it girl is still so foreign to me like what do u mean everyone knows who we are.......that's my niche little firefighter show.....what is this entire website doing here....
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STAY STRONG GAYMERS WE'RE ALMOST THERE
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I’ve been delving even deeper into news about those new PPG comics… and despite the suspiciously reboot-looking Mayor and girls designs being used on this…
…I mean, it kicks ass.
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