#i mean thank god because it made me hate what is otherwise a very cool ambition

[asleepinawell]

wait they nerfed knifegate???

[tomasens]

Your thoughts on Fanfik the movie make me wonder what exactly is going on in the book(s?), lol sadly I don't speak polish. I've read some reviews saying the plot was rushed and simplified, but none quite so negative

Hi!! The English post about Fanfik was a jokey parody of a Will Wood post (I assume that's the post you saw!!) haha, my thoughts are still negative but not that... Dramatic ahahah, thank you for asking though and I'll try to explain my biggest gripes with the movie in a (hopefully) comprehensive way since it's 1 am here and I am Big Tired (finals season is starting this week and I am struggling ahhh)

I will discuss only the first book since the movie is only based on it btw‼️

I wanted to like this movie so bad, especially that Fanfik was a book that made me realize that I am not cis myself. I had very high hopes for the movie, especially that they hired a trans actor to play Tosiek! Like! Woah! But of course it couldn't have been good because FUCK YOU JULEK, YOU'RE DOOMED TO NEVER GET GOOD ADAPTATIONS OF YOUR FAVORITE BOOKS!

My biggest issue is that the movie GREATLY oversimplified the social commentary of the book. It involves a regular, dingy polish highschool that is basically a symbolic miniature of the polish public and its largely homophobic and otherwise generally xenophobic tendencies. The movie takes that idea and throws it out the window completely, making the school a lovely, clean and shiny private school (i don't remember if it's stated it's a private school but you can definitely TELL. No polish public highschool is like this. Trust me. And even if there are public schools like that, they're well funded and still don't deal with the same problems as regular schools do). Not only that, but the story's setting (for some unknown reason?? Genuinely I don't understand this choice) is changed from Poznań to the capital, Warszawa and I really hate that since Poznań is a symbol of the more progressive parts of Poland and using it as the setting furthered the ideas about how even the progressive parts of our (polish) society still need work. It could be me looking to deeply into the symbolism though - even then, I don't understand the change. Also, Leon lives in an extremely nice place - in the book his place was, again, dingy, cramped, he was barely getting by in general. These weird choices destroy the mature social commentary the book has to offer and it sucks! :/

Another big issue are the HORRIBLE writing choices and the oversimplification of every. Fucking. Character. I do not have the energy to discuss everyone, so I'll just focus on Tosiek and Leon, plus their relationship.

Tosiek. Oh god. He is not complicated and interesting like in the book, he's a douche. His drug habits are mentioned but quickly forgotten, the fanfic writing aspect is generally abandoned for most of the movie, his character is mean and dicky but because the movie refuses to give him actual problems he looks like a spoiled, whining rich kid. His only problem seems to be his relationship with his father but it isn't explored well enough for the audience to sympathize or at least understand Tosiek's stance. His transness is also flattened, like, to the point that it's comedic to me. I know some people did just. Put on boy clothes once and were like "oh I'm a guy cool" but if we're adapting a story of a character who is definitely NOT like that... Maybe we shouldn't present his trans journey as that simple.

Leon. Oh GOD. Leon is also a douche and that HURTS. He doesn't really face any meaningful consequences for wanting to use Tosiek as a beard when the dude was still girlmoding without telling him (asshole move btw. Like bro had no actual reason to do that he was just being a dick), he generally doesn't face any consequences, his character is boring, and when it's not boring it's rage inducing because like. Tosiek is a fucking asshole but I don't think movie Leon deserves even that guy. He's not a flawed person, he's one dimensional with a bunch of holes in him. Also please stop teaching ur boyfriend how to burp i am eating /j

Their relationship becomes the core of the story which is awful - the book focuses on Tosiek slowly coming to terms with his gender identity, on him trying to find new ways to cope, with him discovering things about his past (shown to him not by his father like in the movie but by the greatest character of all, his aunt, who was cut for... Time's sake I guess? Which is such a big fucking loss), with him learning to love himself. His relationship with Leon is slow, they're friends at first, they slowly, gradually develop feelings for each other, but Tosiek's feelings for Leon are only an excuse for the narrative to study his relationship with gender even more. Their attraction is shown at first by touches, by brushes of hands, not by KISSING. 20 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE. Sorry I cannot get over it, 20 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE. and 25 minutes into the movie Tosiek is sure of his gender identity completely and never questions it ever again because it would get in the way of The Cute Gay Romance. Like, the movie could be about Tosiek being a cis gay dude and experiencing homophobia and it would still make sense without changing barley anything - that's not a good trans story in general, but especially if you have such great, introspective source material ffs!

In conclusion, the movie got Netflix'd and Americanized - everything about it is devoid of the inherent polish...ness that was present in the book, the movie truly could've been written about some guy in Connecticut and it would be THE EXACT SAME, which sucks since polish queers are awesome and should have our stories properly shown. And also it feels like it was written for cis people, while the book definitely knows that it's target audience is trans people and shows love to them in many ways.

Keep in mind that I haven't read the book in a while and I might be mixing details up - I was already planning to reread the book carefully and make a post explaining how the movie fucked it up big time after my finals, I'll make sure to translate it into English so keep an eye out for that in the summer!

Thanks again for asking and reading anon! Cheers<33

(Also Tosiek is a nerd and it's a CRIME there wasn't at least one Hamilton reference because OH BOY do I remember being excited reading a Hamilton reference in one of the books when I was younger and still in my theatre kid who cannot sing act or dance era.)

[daenrys]

ok, so i watched the first two episode of velma on soap2day. thoughts dump.

the pilot is almost unfathomably terrible but episode two is closer to watchable. the dialogue is still just unbearable but i disliked the story less, i guess.

the elephant in the room is the nude scene at the start of the first episode which is pretty awful, way worse than it seemed even in the trailers. it does seem like it might be the only one of its kind (the characters joke during it about how pilot episodes love to be more sexually gratuitous than the rest of the series) but i don’t think that justifies it considering the framing and animation is still incredibly sexualized. it’s not satire to just do the same thing but have the characters reference it in dialogue, and these are FIFTEEN year olds. it’s by far the worst part of the show and the part that makes me, emphatically, unwilling to support it. even if i liked the rest! but speaking of the rest…

i already said the dialogue was bad, but BOY is it. the whole tone is really messy, and awful. it feels like it was written by a 14 year old in the bathroom of a hot topic. it’s awful, AWFUL. it’s like, big mouth. i don’t think it’s quite That bad but it’s that style of edgy mind numbing. it’s just the worst. you were going for bodies bodies bodies, but you landed closer to sausage party. ring the shame bell.

the storyline isn’t… i mean it’s not good, but i guess it could be worse. i would dislike it less if i wasn’t already attached to these characters i guess, although i still think it wouldn’t be GOOD. it could be worse; but it’s way too fast paced. that, combined with the already bad tone and a repeated need to show the audience that they’re self aware, ends up making it really hard for the audience to care about the emotional beats. even when they’re TRYING to!

as for the characters, velma allllmost feels like a different version of herself. she’s probably the most successfully translated, which is good because she’s the lead. obvi she’s different but most iterations have slightly different characterizations, and she is often characterized as slightly judgemental, so she’s just a more flawed version of that. although the revenge thing seems out of nowhere, otherwise, fine i guess. i also don’t hate norville; he truly has almost nothing in common with shaggy, like, at all, but as a character he works alright. he’s entirely different, but not in a way that made me mad. unlike the other two…

everything about fred and almost everything about daphne (next paragraph for the one good-ish thing about her) is so bad. so, so bad. unfathomably bad. i hate every choice on a fundamental level. it’s just the opposite of what i would ever have wanted. fred doesn’t feel like he’s connected in any way to any version of fred other than the live action gunn version, and daphne feels pulled out of thin air. making her a mean girl is the laziest choice imaginable, and making her basically regina george is somehow even lazier. i mean, she and velma’s whole backstory is just regina and janis. she does appear to be headed on a redemptive journey and at least they seem to be framing velma as also in the wrong in their relationship, but fred doesn’t get any of that. he’s just a rich asshole, which, i have no idea where they got that. he’s literally always been the sweetest.

i think it’s cool that vaphne seems to be going canon in this iteration, although it’s disappointing that it’s only canon with versions of the characters with very little in common with their typical personalities. idk i would be more happy with this development if they actually felt like the same people at all, and if i was less concerned that they’re going to to end up just being super sexualized. i still do like it though; they’re my second favourite romance in the gang and i’m glad it means they aren’t going the frelma route. thank god for that at least.

anyways. some things i actually liked, in a vague sense, before my final thoughts:

- frank welker!

- jane lynch and wanda sikes!

- …. no that’s it

so, to close…

i don’t know, i guess it could be worse. it could all be as bad as the pilot, lol. but it is still, emphatically, bad. and i think the sexualization of that scene is just really hard to get past; it really is genuinely much worse than i expected in that regard, and i was already gutted by that first promo. and it sucks! because i so wanted to like this. it’s really disappointing that the first iteration of the franchise that commits to having multiple of the gang (3/4!!!!) be people of color is so flawed in other ways, because that should be something to celebrate. we’ve had a few with one at a time before but it should be somethint so positive and it makes me very sad that this show fails in so many other ways. i hope that the response to this doesn’t stop the franchise from trying to branch out into more diversity in other iterations. trick or treat scooby doo did fairly well at least, so that’s something. but yeah. it’s a firm no, from me. bad writing, gross treatment of underage characters, and laz, FRUSTTATING, deeply disappointment characterization.

[p7agu3]

adofai levels review (opinion based)

S, A, B: Positive C: Mid D, E, F: Negative U: Unrated (plague had skill issue)

it gets long lol

1-X A Dance of Fire and Ice: C -intro level, boring tbh -i get why it exists but its not interesting -the music is catchy tho

2-X Offbeats: B -also an intro level -more interesting than 1-X at least -the music is also good

3-X The Wind-Up: C -now the level itself is ok -faster intro level, ok music -speed trial made me rage a lot (1.5x speed, crazy) but turns out im either a lot better at the game now or im just terrible at rhythm games when im sleep deprived -and the music is also a step down from 2-X

4-X Love Letters: C -not a big fan of slow music -but it doesn't feel too much like a drag -also isn't silly or anything -decent level

5-X The Midnight Train: C -made me rage extremely hard on my first attempts + speed trial but its not that bad actually -except that one bit in the middle eughhhh

6-X Pulse: B -cool music, good level design imo -lots of mechanics from previous levels -why is speed trial only 1.1x? kick it up to 1.2x at least geez -visuals are kinda boring -good conclusion to the first worlds set -what do you mean there's another one

B-X Thanks For Playing My Game: U -adofai dev i love you but this too much for me -i can not beat this level -why did you double the bpm -please have mercy on my wretched soul

7-X Spin 2 Win: B -louis from doodle world???? -cool music but not rlly my thing

8-X Jungle City: C -raged SO HARD at this one -but the base level is so harmless.. upbeat… -i reluctantly raise it from a D because im in a sane state of mind rn but it really does deserve a lower rating on basis of my pain and suffering

9-X Classic Pursuit: S -i love this level -music slaps. also, gameplay feels great (i think it's the kick hitsound) -adofai should implement custom hitsounds i think that would be neat -its just so good!!! idk why tho

10-X Butterfly Planet: C -i think i might hate this one, 5-X, and 8-X because when i am very upset (skill issue) i do Not want to hear the silly happy fun music -also the graphics arent that good. the butterflies are ok but they dont add too much -the whole thing still feels rather eh to play, partly because it zooms out more than i'd like (even though i have a right massive laptop) -and i think i have a love-hate relationship with fast levels -was definitely overreacting the last few times i played it tho

11-X Heracles: S -heracles is GOATED!!!! -i rlly love this level -the music is epic, also i think my bass/kick hitsound preference theory might be right -it's also full of rats. my name is plague im obligated to at least appreciate rats -the 'bossfight' going on in the background is very cool and on theme, it distracted me a little on my first attempts but its cool -"Cong-rat-ulations!" i love,,,,,,

12-X Artificial Chariot: S -epic music -goats aren't rlly my thing but the level has a great aesthetic to it -synths or whtv… delicious mmm -cannot say it is better than heracles so the goat joke is lost sadly

XF-X Third Wave Flip-Flop: B -i love me some brass noises -pretty basic level otherwise -the camera turning is trippy but livable

XC-X Credits: A -it looks cool and plays pretty good -the chopped up vocals bit freaks me out a little gameplay wise b/c it's hard to follow but it does line up thankfully

XH-X Last Hope: S -so so cool of a level -it loses a few points for the weird alignment on the one vocal sample but oh my god -the middle bit with the flashing lights.. the mechanic they pull on you.. my god -its such a good twist.. aaaa -music is great too, another point for the kick theory, i wanna eat it (am i hungry? maybe)

PA-X Distance: S -its so chill…. and the level design is just so good it lines up with the music perfectly and enhances the experience its wonderful -also bass kicksound (huhuh?) -plague liking a slow level??? impossible… -aahnghhh it gets an s just for gorgeous design

XR-X Rose Garden: S -fiddle!!!1!!!!!1! -very fun level i like -silly medieval music.. i am predisposed once more but like who wouldn't be

RJ-X Fear Grows: U -i havent beaten it Dx -skill issue.. this mechanic is weird

XN-X Trans-Neptunian Object: B -this level irritates me -it feels like the music isn't synced sometimes? idk -also the honeycombs i dislike (too fast)

MN-X Night Wander (cnsouka Remix): A -bit slow, its cool tho -those triangle note things are kind of argh -narwhal

ML-X La nuit de vif: U -this level actively bullies me -crying about it

there are probably more muse dash levels that i havent unlocked yet

anyways i cannot in good faith hate any of the adofai levels, theyre overall pretty well designed. im just a salty loser lmao

play the game if you can it's pretty cheap and a really epic rhythm game (where the music actually does line up with the gameplay.. looking at you geometry dash)

[until-the-brahmin-come-home]

Hi I’ve got some questions about Sam since. You’re doing a run of Fallout 3!

1. What’s his relation with religion like?

2. What is his relation with the Brotherhood + minor factions like?

3. Feel free to ramble about him I’m curious!

Hello, and thank you for the questions! It should be noted that Sam is agender and uses they/them pronouns.

Answers under the cut:

Sam is an ex-Catholic; they followed the religion when they were younger, and they still value it as a way to feel close to their late mother, but in their teens they realized they didn't feel they were connecting to god like they were 'supposed' to and gradually grew distant. Now they're somewhat agnostic; they've seen enough strange things to have a belief in the supernatural, but they don't believe in an almighty creator. They do still wear a cross on a necklace, and utilize some christian symbolism - for example, in their name (Samael), and many of their tattoos. I, personally, am not religious and don't have a strong connection to christianity besides the background 'i am an adult who grew up in america', so my thoughts on this front aren't as put-together as I'd maybe like them to be.

a) Sam. hates. the Brotherhood. They think the whole group is full of pretentious, bigoted, self-righteous assholes and if they could avoid working with them they would. Unfortunately, the railroad-y nature of the story means that Sam does have to grit their teeth and go along with them in places, but they won't make it easy. Very "I'm not stuck here with you, you're stuck here with me" energy in a lot of their interactions - Sam would frequently start fights, steal things, and otherwise be as difficult to work with as possible. If it weren't for the fact that Sam was integral to Project Purity, Lyons probably would've kicked them out. Once the whole ordeal is over they abandon the BoS and never look back. I've toyed with the idea of Sam being the one who killed Sarah Lyons in-between 3 and 4, although I'm not sure if I'll make that canon to their story or not.

b) Sam also hates slavers and the Enclave and will go out of their way to attack them whenever possible. They're not fond of raiders but will leave them alone if they don't attack first - something that, sadly, doesn't happen too often. On the flipside, they get along well with Little Lamplight + Big Town and swing by frequently to make sure they're doing alright; they're friendly with the Family, having some quiet cannibalistic tendencies themselves (they'd never kill someone to eat them, but if they're already dead, meat is meat...only when supplies are low, though); they genuinely like Reilly's Rangers and are happy to help them map out the wasteland; they think both Talon company and the Regulators are weird and annoying, although they obviously have a lot more problems with Talon; they think the Underworld is cool; and in the made up version of fo3 in my head where the super mutants are well-written, Sam gets along fine with them too. Sam has nothing against the Children of Atom or the Treeminders but, because of some weird interactions, quietly tries to avoid them. The whole 'disarming the bomb' and 'killing Harold' thing doesn't help.

3. Random info: they avoid finding their dad for a really long time. They get the information of where he went off of Moriarty's terminal, but after that they just fuck around doing quests for Moira and dragging trinkets back to their house. Since I'm currently doing the wasteland survival guide - I'm choosing snide options because I want the critical hit bonus, but Sam would choose the intelligent ones; they're very much a scientist when it comes to how they view the world.

Also, they learn how to do tarot readings from Beatrice in 101, and carry a deck with them into the wasteland, occasionally doing readings before major events.

[bigolgay]

no because that’s so scary! like i’ve had things i’ve dreamed about come true before and i felt so uncomfortable…but i’m sure your roof will stay put! you made it a lot better actually, interacting with lovely human beings like you improves my day immensely! maybe tomorrow will be better?

well, i guess i would’ve stopped replying if i hated your messages haha :) no you’re totally right, trust is super important in friendships! i guess then we’d have to talk in private, like just the two of us…i hate that feeling of having multiple pairs of eyes on me when i talk in group settings you know? and also: when i’m really comfortable with someone they have to work hard to get me to shut up sometimes haha, but in general i’m just content being quiet i guess :))

hehe, wonderful ;) i’m trusting you with my life here, you know? ;)) hmm i don’t think so, and you can’t say or do anything to convince me otherwise! ahhh okay!! i mean i know that you know my blog so that makes me super scared, but maybe i’ll get over it?? stop ittt you’re so sweet omg!!!

i’m sorry!! i didn’t want to feed your brain with more nightmare material, i’ll stop now. oh god, of course your traumatised, this is horrible! i would feel the same way about wasps if that happened to me! now, i think all the talking about dreams made me kinda tired so i’m gonna try to sleep now, i have a long day ahead of me tomorrow…sleep well my dear, and sweet and wasp-free dreams for you! <3

I’ve had dreams that are coincidentally similar to something irl a couple times. But never anything that I’ve dreamed of which then goes on to actually happen?? That’s so scary but also kind of cool? Like… your own little psychic ability hehe. Stop it, you little sweetie🥹I’m very glad then. And I’m also very honoured that I was able to make a positive impact on your day. Yes! Tomorrow will be better! And if it’s not, I shall have a harsh word with the universe and I’ll be here for you to rant about it to if you wish😌

I suppose, very glad you haven’t stopped then! Oh I totally get you… okay maybe not totally because I’m a bit of an attention whore, but I understand how uncomfortable people can find having an “audience” is. And I mean, it feels awkward and unnatural even to me at times so🤷. Awwww that’s so adorable😭but who the hell would ever want you to shut up?? I sincerely hope the answer to that is no one😑.

What an honour… I will take very good care of you darling, not to worry😉. Well… I uh, okay I can’t think of a rebuttal to that🤣I’ll just say thank you instead🫶🏼. Oh sweetheart, please don’t be scared. What is it that you’re scared of? Maybe I can help soothe them a bit? There’s seriously no rush though, there’s zero pressure. I’m lucky to even have you in my inbox at all, so I am counting my lucky stars about that alone. So please don’t feel pressured my love😭

Don’t be sorry! You’re so fine. I swear you didn’t do anything wrong at all. I like talking about this sort of thing, dreams are weird and intriguing. So if you wanna keep talking about it or another time in the future, by all means! You’re so freaking sweet and lovely darling😭withdraw your apology rn please😘. Yeah, I have a personal vendetta against wasps🤣okay my sweet, goodnight and sleep well❤️

[chaoticookie]

I like Manhwas, specially those cliché isekai or revival ones. But one I absolutely hate in this moment is Lady Baby.

It started very well, with a cool lore to explain what happened before and kind of a investigation to know why she returned. The main character was quite interesting and very traumatized - wich only makes it more interesting, because she'd have to deal with her traumas in this new life right?

Wrong!

Putting aside a few people that makes her shudder, there is absolutely NO progression of character except for absurd changes in her behavior. She was stabilished as a fragile girl with a new purpose in life!... But she turns out to be perfect in every way possible.

One thing that makes me cringe to this day is when she spoke her first words as a baby. I kid you not, she made a whole speach in thanks for being birth. Wich would have been hilarious if it wasn't taken so seriously.

God, she absolutely rules everyone in that family! All the characters do whatever she wants because... because.

Whenever she needs to do something the author pulls a random flashback to show how she was good at it in her first life and rolls with it. And if that's not the case, they say she was very bad at it but practiced in this life - detail: it wasn't shown. Or talked about.

Then there is the male lead, who is... there. No, he does things to the plot and all, but he is just whatever the plot needs him to be. And at first it was said she was completely alone and helpless in her first life, and couldn't have help of a single soul...

But then out of nowhere there's a flashback about her talking to the male lead and having moments.

And it's so inconsistent in it's pacing! Oh my God, it's so annoying! I was literally dying and just went on scrolling through her life as an infant because it was so BORING! In Who Made Me a Princess you can see an amazing example of how to write your character while they're a child. And in Lady Baby it shows things with NO relevance to the plot. Look, there goes Lippe drinking milk again. Look, Lippe is running around and people are cooing. Look, there's Lippe being a model. Come on. And the characters- they are absurd.

You tell me a middle aged man sits down seriously and bargains with a child? And her mother just- sits there cooing? While flashbacks and exposition runs into our faces because without it we would have no clue to what the hell our main character is trying to do.

A great example of good use of flashbacks is Untouchable Lady, where it's shown to us as a way to justify Hilise's reactions and set up some hints of what to expect from each character, and even giving a great delivered (almost) non verbal exposition of the magic system in there. Where in Lady Baby, we get popped up to flashbacks almost every time Lippe has a mood swing.

The other characters are so bland it makes it even worse when Lippe is out of the scene, though it sure is a breath of fresh air - she is ALL over the place.

I have no shame in call her a Mary Sue at this point, since she went through my Mary Sue checklist:

Has no character development for she starts the journey already 'perfect'. Check.

Gets through her problems with no difficulty or struggle, simply moves past them. Check.

Nothing and no event changes her in any way, she always remains the same as before. Check.

Yep. All three categories.

So, these are my thoughts in Lady Baby. I do not mean to offend, of course, and even if I did I would have my rights to do so and spit shit, like every human being.

If you find my opinion trash, tell me why! I really like to know people's opinions about things I know.

I end this post with some nice manhwas recomendations:

Who made me a Princess;

Kill the Villainess;

Untouchable Lady (my current favorite);

Throw me Away;

Lucia;

I have no health;

Beware of the villainess (the best out of the genre and you will not convince me otherwise);

When the villainess loves.

Detail, I do not hate Lady Baby because it was bad to read it. It's fun sometimes. I hate it because it made me invested and then wasted my time.

[leossmoonn]

Temptation

masterlist

pairing - silas x forbes,fem!reader

type - fluffy smut, angst

note / request - “can i request a silas fic where the reader is Caroline's lil sis and Silas likes to annoy her, and he likes her a lot. Then Care and Damon are always into protective sibling modes where silas is around y/n. So one day they catch y/n making out w him, and then theres a lot of banter again” this was really fun to write! im not gonna rewrite background info lol so make sure to read the request. also the timeline of events is a little fuzzy so i apologise if i make a mistake. enjoy :)

summary - damon and caroline find you making out with the enemy, who just happens to be silas 

warnings / includes - language, sibling fighting, steamy make out, sexual tension heheh, you’re in your senior year of high school, suggestive

————

*gif isn't mine*

“Hello, doll face,” Silas greeted behind you.

You jumped at his voice, but quickly settled down. “Hey, Silas,” you said dully.

“Why the long face, princess?” Silas asked. 

“Because you’re here,” you said. “Oh, that’s so mean. You’ve hurt my feelings,” Silas pouted. 

“Well, I’m not supposed to be talking to you anyways,” you stated matter-of-factly. 

“Ugh, you are such a goody two shoes. It’s cute, but annoying. Why not break the rules? I know you want to,” Silas said, leaning over the top of the couch, his face going right next to your’s.

You inhaled deeply, your heart pounding against your chest. You were attracted to him, no doubt about that, but if you even considered shaking his hand, Caroline and Damon would kill you. And you definitely didn’t want that.

“I can read your mind, Y/n. I know you want to kiss me, so go ahead,” he whispered. 

You didn’t turn your head, but your eyes wandered to the left. You got a good view of his lips, which made butterflies flutter in your stomach. It was so tempting to close the gap between you two, but you knew better than that. You turned your head the other way, standing up from the couch. You packed up your school work, deciding to leave the Salvatore house and go to your own. 

You were at the Salvatore house because Damon had offered to help you with your history homework. You took the offer and you two had been studying for a few hours. He had left you for 30 minutes to go and get you two lunch. In those 30 minutes, Silas had wandered into the house, looking for you. 

You pulled out your phone, texting Damon to go to your house instead of back to his. 

“Where are ya going?” Silas asked. 

“Home,” you mumbled, keeping your head down and walking to the front door. 

Silas stood in front of the door, making you look up at him with an annoyed frown. 

“Please let me go,” you said. 

“No, I’d rather see you beg,” Silas smirked. You rolled your eyes. “Please. Damon is waiting for me at my house with food.”

“Oh! Well, why don’t I just go with you, then? I’d love to see Damon.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you chuckled. “Why not? I can just pretend to be his brother! I’ve fooled lots of people already,” Silas smiled. 

“I think Damon will notice. Especially if I’m there,” you said.  “I’ll just sneak in then,” Silas suggested. 

“No, Silas! I just want to go home alone. Leave me alone,” you said sternly, looking him straight in the eyes. You went to push him out of the way, but his hands grabbed ahold of your wrists. His strong grip made goosebumps rush up your forearms.

Silas couldn’t help but smirk. You rarely ever had outbursts. He thought it was incredibly sexy and cute when you put your foot down. Especially when it pertained to him. 

“You are so adorable when you’re mad. You're so small, too. I can’t help but not take you seriously,” Silas chuckled. 

Your eyes went wide and you opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. You masked your embarrassment by groaning and running your fingers through your hair in frustration. “Just let me go! Please. I’m hungry and tired and really need to study for my test.”

“What is your test over, anyways? History? Cause if so, I could help you out. I bet I know more than Damon,” Silas said. 

“No thanks, bro, she’s all taken care of,” Damon said from behind Silas. 

“You tattled that I was here! So naughty of you,” Silas glared at you playfully. 

“Step out of the way, Silas. Otherwise I will snap your neck,” Damon sneered. 

Silas sighed. “Fine! I’m only obeying because I want to kiss you before I die.”

“Fat chance of that. C’mon, Y/n. I got you a burger and those onion rings you like,” Damon said.

“Thanks, Damon,” you smiled gratefully at him. 

“See you later, doll face!” Silas called out as you walked to your car. 

“I’m sorry about him. I should make you the owner of the house,” Damon said. 

You shrugged, “It’s alright. He would never actually hurt me.”

“Well, we don’t know that,” Damon said. 

“Yes, we do. Sure, he might threaten to kill me sometimes, but his liking for me trumps any chance of him killing me. I don’t fear him, he’s just extremely annoying,” you said, getting in your car.

“Agreed,” Damon said. 

You two drove to your house, eating lunch and studying for a few more hours. Caroline and Elena then came home, talking to you and Damon about a party at the Grill. 

“Can I come?” You asked. 

“Um, yeah, sure,” Caroline nodded. 

You smiled excitedly. You barley went to any of these parties. You usually were at home studying or hiding away in your house because Caroline and Damon were always worried for you, but Caroline figured that since she and Damon and everyone else would be there, they would be able to protect you. 

So you took a quick shower and got ready for the night. You put on ripped jeans and a black, spaghetti-strapped top with a jean jacket. You put on heeled boots and put on some silver jewellery, as well as lined your eyes with eyeliner and painted your lips red with lipstick.

“Oh, you look so cute!” Elena exclaimed as you walked out of your room. 

“Thanks, Elena,” you smiled at her. 

“No, go change,” Caroline said. “Why?” You frowned. 

“Because Silas could be there and that outfit would tempt him even more,” Damon explained. 

You rolled your eyes. “So when Klaus was here, Caroline could wear anything, but I guess since I’m younger and a human, I can’t? That’s so unfair.”

“She’s right, guys. I hate Silas as much as you two, but let her dress how she wants. We’ll be there to protect her. Plus, if Silas thinks she’s hot, then good for her. She is,” Elena agreed with you. 

You smiled at her. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” she smiled. 

“Ugh, fine! But no drinking, okay?” Caroline said. 

“Ay, ay captain,” you said. You four went out to Elena’s SUV, driving to the Grill. 

Loud music blasted into your ears as soon as you stepped inside. You smiled as you saw everything dancing and having the time of their life. 

“Shots?” Caroline suggested. 

“Hell yeah!” Elena squealed. 

“Iced tea for you, Y/n?” Caroline asked. “Yes, please,” you nodded. 

“Alright, you guys go to the pool table. I’ll be back,” Caroline said. 

“Where is Stefan?” You asked, looking around the bar and walking to the pool table that was conveniently empty. 

“Right here!” 

You turned around, smiling once you saw Stefan in a grey shirt, jeans, and his leather jacket. You went to hug him, but Damon stopped you. 

“Ah, ah, ah. How do we know it isn’t Silas?” Damon asked. 

Stefan rolled his eyes. He pulled out a blood bag from his pocket, taking it and drinking it quickly. 

“Alright, alright, we know it’s you. Cool it on the blood, brother. Don’t want to go into a bloodlust,” Damon said, taking the empty bag and throwing it in the trash. 

“Well, I don’t really know how else to prove I’m not Silas,” Stefan sighed. “Can I get that hug now?”

You smiled and nodded, wrapping your arms around him. 

Between everyone else, Damon and Stefan were your best friends. They were like the brothers you’ve never had, protecting you and teasing you whenever they felt like it was necessary. You hadn’t seen Stefan in a while since he was found in the safe, but you were glad to see he was okay. 

“Glad to see you’re okay, Stef,” you said, pulling back. 

“And I’m glad to see you haven’t fallen victim to my doppelgänger,” Stefan smiled. 

Caroline came back with shots, pleasantly surprised to see Stefan. 

“Stefan! You’re here! Oh, my God the whole gang is here!” She squealed, putting down the shots and engulfing Stefan is a big hug. 

“I’m excited to be here, too. This is the first time I’ve really gone out for fun. I hope nothing goes wrong,” Stefan joked. 

“Well, if any of you spot Silas, make sure to not let him get close to Y/n. We don’t know what he could do to her,” Caroline said.

You rolled your eyes at her concern, but didn’t say anything. You knew it would end up with you two arguing and that was the last thing anything wanted. Forbes were very controlling and heated when they got angry.

You took your tea and sipped on it as Damon downed the first shot. 

“Wait, are we playing in teams?” You asked. 

“Yeah, which one do you wanna be one? Damon and I’s?” Stefan asked. 

“Definitely yours,” you said. “Oh, what! You know I win all the time,” Damon said. 

“Yeah, but when you lose you get so mad. It’s hilarious,” you giggled.

“True, it is cute,” Elena smirked. 

Damon rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You two are so annoying.”

You smiled and played with your friends for a little while. It came to a time where everyone was too tipsy to where they could barely walk, so you were in charge of getting the drinks. Damon and Caroline, despite being pretty much drunk, stayed close behind you. 

“Hey, Matt,” you smiled at the boy working behind the bar. “Hey, Y/n! Let me guess, more shots and another iced tea?” He asked. 

“You guessed right,” you chuckled. 

“So, how is school?” He asked. 

“Pretty good. History is kicking my ass, per usual. It’s weird because I’m surrounded by history buffs,” you said. 

“Well, I know you have Damon helping you, but Stefan is a lot better at tutoring, in my opinion. I know he’s been having a rough time, though,” Matt said. 

“He has, which is why I should be your tutor,” Silas smirked next to you. 

You jumped slightly, surprised to see him there. You looked at him, seeing him wearing a dark navy shirt and jeans. Your eyes stared at his biceps and his strong, broad shoulders. Once you noticed him smirking at you, you looked back to the drinks Matt was filling. 

“Now I get the silent treatment? C’mon, not fair,” Silas whined.

“You shouldn’t be here, man,” Matt said. 

“Yeah, and what are you gonna do about, it huh?” Silas taunted, looking at Matt with narrow, menacing eyes. 

Matt rolled his eyes, putting the tequila shots and your drink on a tray and handing them to you. 

“Thanks, Matt,” you smiled.

You took the tray, ready to turn around and walk away from Silas. He put his arm up, planning to grab your arm to stop you, but Caroline and Damon used their vamp speed to push him back. 

“Don’t you dare touch her,” Caroline sneered. Veins were circulating under her eyes and she bared her fangs. 

Silas smirked, not at all fazed. “Oh, please, I could kill both of you so fast, you couldn’t have chance to say bye to Y/n. Now, let me go, Damon.”

Damon’s grip on Silas’s arms tightened. “Not a chance. We’re going outside and I’m gonna make sure you are far away from here.”

Damon then took Silas to the exit, Silas looking back at you and giving you a wink. Caroline groaned in disgust and took the tray away from you. 

“You okay?” She asked. 

“I’m fine, Care! He wasn’t going to hurt me,” you glared at her. 

“You don’t know that! Why are you defending him? Doesn't he annoy you?” Caroline asked. 

“Yeah, he does,” you said, your voice trailing off at the end, alluding to something else.

Caroline stared at you intensely, gasping once she put the pieces together. “You… You like him? Ugh, why! He’s a monster.”

“I don’t like him! God, why is that always your first assumption?” You asked.

“Because you obviously are having physical reactions to him. We all see the way you look down in shyness when he flirts with you, and we can hear your heart racing. We just hoped you wouldn’t give in,” Caroline sighed. 

“I’m not! I don’t like him in any way, okay? Just because I defend someone doesn’t mean I automatically like them!”

“That’s what you always say! You need to get rid of those feelings, Y/n. He’s not a good person.”

You closed your eyes in frustration, sighing roughly. “I’m going to the bathroom to cool down. When I come out, you better not say anything else about me liking Silas.”

You spun on your heels, storming off to the bathroom. You washed your hands, putting them to your forehead to cool yourself down. 

“Feelings for Silas, please,” you scoffed to yourself. 

“She’s right. I know it, you know it. Everyone does.”

You looked in the mirror, jumping once you saw Silas behind you. You turned around quickly. 

“H-How did you get in here?” You asked.

“I knocked Damon out,” he shrugged. 

“What?! Is he okay?” You asked. “Yes, he’s fine. I know that you would hate me if I killed one of your friends,” he said.

You sighed, “I have to go. They’re waiting for me.” You went to the door, but Silas once again blocked the entrance. 

“You gotta be quicker, Y/n. Someday you might find yourself in real trouble,” Silas smiled down at you. 

“You are real trouble,” you retorted.

“Oh, we both know that’s not true. If I was then you’d be screaming for your life. But you’re just standing there, looking so incredibly kissable,” Silas said, shamelessly looking at your lips. 

Your cheeks felt like they were on fire, and you looked down to hide your face. “No, I just don’t want to make a scene,” you mumbled. 

Silas put his hand on your chin, making your eyes meet his. “While that is true, you also having feelings for me.”

You stepped away from him, his hand falling to his side. “I don’t. You’re evil and cheated on your girlfriend. No girl wants to be with a guy like that.”

“Elena practically cheated on Stefan emotionally, you’re still friends with her,” Silas stated. 

You furrowed your brows, not sure what to say back. He was correct, but you knew that wasn’t the point. You needed to get out of there otherwise Caroline and Damon would freak out. 

Silas walked towards you slowly, like you were his prey that he was stalking. You turned around, not wanting to look at him. Silas grinned, seeing as his plan would work out even better now that you were facing the mirrors. 

He put his hand on your bare arm, dragging his fingertips up your skin. 

“I’m so glad you took off the leather jacket. Your outfit looks so much better without it,” he murmured. 

You immediately froze. Your eyes were glued to the two of you in the mirror. You watched as his hand went up to your shoulders, pressing down lightly on your muscles. 

“Shouldn’t you be running, Y/n?” Silas asked, moving. your hair out of the way so he could get a better view of your neck. 

You knew you should, but his touch felt so good. It weirdly calmed your nerves down, but also made you flustered as hell. You would be lying if you said you didn’t want to stay in this bathroom and let him take you. Silas smiled at your thoughts, lowering his lips down to your shoulder. 

“I can totally take you right here if you want,” he whispered, his lips making contact with your skin. 

You inhaled sharply, finding yourself stumbling back into his chest. His other arm went around your waist, holding you close to him.

“Your skin is so soft, doll face,” he said while kissing up your neck. 

You watched him in the mirror, your stomach doing flips. Your legs felt weak and heat gathered in between your thighs. You had honestly wanted to kiss him this whole time. You decided a few more minutes in the bathroom couldn’t hurt. 

So you turned around, crashing your lips onto his. Silas smiled as you kissed him, his hands trailing down to your legs. He lifted you up with ease, taking you to the sink and placing you on the counter. Your legs wrapped around his waist, your hands running themselves through his hair. 

“Silas,” you breathed out as you felt his hands on your thighs, going higher and higher. 

“You like that, princess?” He hummed, his fingers going higher until they reached your clothed entrance. He pulled away, grinning and looking you in the eyes. 

“Uh-huh,” you hummed, pulling his face close to yours roughly.

Your lips collided again, your heart and brain exploding. Kissing him felt like heaven.

Silas mirrored your neediness and put his hands on your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. You pressed your chest up to him more, your hands going down from his head to the bottom of his shirt. You lifted it up, Silas pulling away so you could pull it off of him. You sat back and admired his abs and muscles, excitement growing in between your thighs. 

You dove down to his neck, kissing and sucking lightly. Your hands explored his chest, tracing along his prominate abs. Silas breathed heavily into your ear, groaning as you found his sweet spot. 

“Oh, Y/n,” he panted. 

You smirked against his skin. Before you could put your hands on his belt, the bathroom door burst open. You saw Caroline and Damon standing, eyes huge and mouths agape. 

“What the hell!” Caroline shrieked. 

Your eyes widened and you pushed Silas away from you, getting off the counter. 

“Really, Y/n? You pick him to make out with in the bathroom?” Damon groaned. 

“It is just happened,” you shrugged sheepishly. 

“Yeah, she’s a really good kisser,” Silas smirked. “I never would have expected it since she’s shy and all, but man, she is wil-”

“You shut the hell up. And you,” Caroline pointed to you. “Are going home. now.”

“He wasn’t hurting me, Care,” you said. 

Caroline looked at you two incredulously. “You’re making her say this! You pressured her, didn’t you!” She pointed to Silas. 

“He’s not! I was the one who kissed him first,” you admitted. “Yeah, but I helped a little,” Silas smirked. 

Caroline made her vampire face and lunged at Silas, to which Damon pulled her back. 

“Alright, blondie, why don’t you take Y/n home and I’ll deal with Silas, okay?” Damon said. 

Caroline huffed and nodded, grabbing you by the arm roughly. 

“We’ll continue another time, doll face!” Silas exclaimed. 

“No, you will not,” Damon glared.

————

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@123cxcv​

[uwurakax]

i wanna make her mine ♡

pairing: iwaizumi x f!reader (oikawa x f!reader) ♡

genre: angst // unrequited love // iwa’s in love with his best friends girl yay // love triangle(ish?) ♡

summary: he knew it was wrong, but iwaizumi hajime couldn’t help the fact that he was in love with his best friends girl ♡

word count: 1.9k ♡

author’s note: it’s not super angst, just a little bit (i wasn’t in the angst feels but i like it - a little lolol oops). someone needs to take youtube away from me from listening to these songs ✌️😭 as always its not proofread, so any mistakes yIKES ty for coming (also crappy writing due to writing this at 5am no sleep as always) 🌚 ♡

♡ (inspired by jessie’s girl by rick springfield) ♡

Iwaizumi Hajime is a good friend. Despite his intimidating stature and the frown lines that decorate his brow, he really was a kind and considerate guy; in his own way of course. Did he yell and raise his voice? Did he get violent with a certain pretty best friend of his? Of course, it’s just how Iwaizumi was. However ask his teammates and fellow peers and they’d tell you how loyal he is, how he always looked out for his friends. How he always put them first.

No one believed this more than said pretty boy best friend, Oikawa Tōru. Although the setter, and captain of their volleyball team, always complained about his ‘brutish friend’, he couldn’t deny that he did appreciate his childhood friends support and constant worry. As mean and as violent as Iwaizumi could get with him, Oikawa knew that deep down he was caring and looking out for him in his own manner.

“Hey, make sure you don’t stay up all night”

“If you catch a cold, I’m going to punch you”

Yes, those around him would say that Iwaizumi Hajime is a great guy and a good best friend, even if he was a ‘bit of a brute’. Though if you were to ask Iwaizumi himself, he’d wholeheartedly disagree with you. Why would he? Well, the answer is very simple.

Iwaizumi Hajime is in love with his best friends girlfriend.

It went against every moral compass implemented by humans. Against every bro-code created by men decades before him. He knew it was wrong, completely and utterly wrong. He knew he’d never do that to you, and he’d most definitely never do that to Oikawa; but Iwaizumi couldn’t help how he felt in the slightest. If he could, he’d tear up every emotion of affection he had towards you.

But unfortunately for Iwaizumi, he couldn’t.

This wasn’t some vampire TV show. He couldn’t turn off his emotions or humanity, no matter how much he wanted to; and by God did Iwaizumi want to. So badly. It was sick and twisted, the feelings he had for you.

L/N, Y/N. A fellow third year student at Aoba Johsai High School, Class 5. It was like fate had it out for him. He had the unfortunate pleasure of not just being in the same class as you, but seated in the desk right next to yours as well.

Life truly was cruel.

In this entire school, in the entire prefecture, the entirety of Japan, hell even of all freaking Earth, it just had to be you. Why, oh why did it have to be you?

Why did you have to fall in love with his best friend? And why did he have to fall in love with you?

It wasn’t like Iwaizumi didn’t want Oikawa to be happy. On the contrary, Iwaizumi never wanted Oikawa to be upset. He rarely saw the pretty setter truly smile, always opting to charm his way with a toothy grin, no matter who was on the receiving end. Iwaizumi knew, and could easily see through his deceptive smirk. He noticed, however, that he never used that smile around you.

Iwaizumi only ever saw Oikawa’s real smile around you. He could see that his best friend never needed to fake anything around you. Everything about you just radiated goodness, honestly and truth. It was probably why Oikawa never wanted to pretend with you.

And it only ever made it harder for Iwaizumi to hide his feelings from you.

He’d watch the way you’d come into practice, immediately greeting everyone, and then eagerly run towards your boyfriend.

“Tōru, have you been over exerting yourself again?”

It wasn’t anything new, especially not to Iwaizumi. Oikawa always had a tendency to push his body over its limits. It was why the ace usually got violent with the setter; he’d never listen otherwise. He knew the drill, it was like clockwork. Oikawa would swear up and down that he didn’t, despite the grimace he tried to hide. He was such a natural actor, anybody else would be fooled by his performance. Not you though, he could never fool you, and Oikawa could never fool Iwaizumi. You both saw through him easily, but you knew how he’d be, and there was only one way to get him to listen.

“Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi wasn’t particularly fond of the nickname Oikawa had given him when they were children. He daresay he didn’t really care for it at all, Oikawa seemed a bit too old to still be using such a cute and childish nickname. Oikawa was stubborn though, and through the years, he just got used to it. No, Iwaizumi wasn’t keen on the nickname, but when it fell from your lips he suddenly didn’t mind it at all.

He’d look over at you and see you pout, almost demanding to know if Oikawa was overdoing it. Iwaizumi had gotten so used to it, your words barely registered anymore. It was one of the off chances where you looked at Iwaizumi and he could look at you, and not feel guilty about it. As much as he hated the damage Oikawa would do to his own body, he couldn’t help but think it was a small blessing in disguise from the universe. For Iwaizumi didn’t need to listen to you so intently like he did the first few times. Nowadays, he could just enjoy just looking at you without it being ‘weird’ or ‘creepy’.

The way you pouted, crossed your arms, scrunched up your face and spilled words of concern over his best friend, your boyfriend. You were so cute, so beautiful. He couldn’t help but wish that he was the one you’d worry over instead.

These little interactions, however brief, were enough for Iwaizumi. He knew they wouldn’t last forever, knew you were only here while you guys were still in high school. Knew that once you all graduated, he’d never see you daily. Iwaizumi couldn’t decide on whether that was a good or bad thing, but while you both had these exchanges, he’d savour every moment.

And so Iwaizumi would say what he always did. Complain back that ‘Shittykawa’ wouldn’t listen to him, that he was so stubborn, that you’d need to talk sense into him, because he’d never listen to anyone else like he did you. Honestly who could blame Oikawa? Iwaizumi is sure that if you asked him to travel to the ends of the earth, he would do it in a heartbeat.

After practice is over, Iwaizumi grabs his water bottle, quickly chugging down the much needed liquid. He was so caught up in his thoughts, he didn’t notice you make your way towards him. Not until you’re right in front of him. Your presence startles him, and you’re just so close. His hands start to sweat, heart accelerating and he can feel the blood rush quickly to his face. His heartbeat rings loudly in his ears, and he’s surprised he can even hear you over the deafening drumming.

“Hey Iwa, are you alright? Your face is all red”

Iwaizumi curses mentally to himself when he feels the back of your hand press to his forehead. Your skin felt so smooth and cool against his. He knows he’ll never be able to feel it again, and his heart sinks at the thought. You’ll never know it, and he’ll never tell, but Iwaizumi makes a mental note of this moment, wanting to ingrain it in his body and soul forever.

This will be one of Iwaizumi Hajime’s most cherished memories.

Iwaizumi gently takes your wrist and reluctantly pushes it away from his face. He inhales deeply, his body already missing your comforting touch.

“You feel hot, could be a fever?”

He lightly chuckles, trying to release the tension pent up in his body.

“No, it’s obviously just from practice. Of course I’m all hot and red, that’s what exercise does to you, dumbass”

With surprising softness, he flicks your forehead. It’s not enough to hurt, not in the slightest; but it’s enough to have you embarrassed.

“Y-yeah yeah, whatever. Iwa-chan”

Iwaizumi notices your nervousness and he swears to himself. It was disgusting, you’re his best friends girlfriend; but he just can’t help the thoughts of wishing he was the one that got to see that face more often.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine. I gotta go help clean up, so I’ll see you later”

Oikawa was good at playing pretend, he had years of practice. No one knew that his best friend was a great pretender too.

It finally reaches the time where Iwaizumi can go home, and of course to his luck, he had to walk with Oikawa and you. You know how awkward it is to be the third wheel, and Iwaizumi is thankful of how considerate you are. It’s too bad his best friend wasn’t the same way.

He’ll watch you and Oikawa hold hands, smile and steal occasional quick pecks while you think he isn’t looking. Of course he see’s it though, he can’t help but look at you. At one point during your nightly stroll, you’ll shiver from the cold, and Iwaizumi so desperately wishes he could hold you, wrap his arms around you for warmth, but he knows he can’t.

So he just watches as Oikawa takes out his volleyball jacket and drapes it over you. You look good in white and teal, Iwaizumi thinks to himself. He hates how cute you look in it, and he feels his heart crack a little when you snuggle into it, sniffing the collar and inhaling Oikawa’s scent.

He tunes out the conversations you two are having, silently praying that you three can part ways at the next street. The sweet love confessions pouring out of both you and Oikawa taking a toll on Iwaizumi’s fragile heart.

You all finally make it to the crossroads where you part, the trio now to soon be a duo and a solo. Two’s company and three’s a crowd. It had never felt more truer than when he was with the two of you.

He’ll smile, make a joke about how he finally gets to go, being free of the nauseating presence of two lovers. You’ll roll your eyes and Oikawa will just refute with ‘Iwa-chan, you’re just jealous’. Oikawa has no idea how right he is.

So he goes, leaving behind the two of you at the corner. Iwaizumi takes a few steps and looks back, thinking he’d see your retreating form, but he doesn’t. He see’s you and Oikawa, still rooted in the corner, looking at each other with such love and admiration. Oikawa then leans down and kisses you deeply. You throw your arms around his neck, deepening it even further. Iwaizumi is no longer there, there’s no more prying eyes. The two of you didn’t need to pretend. You could freely express your love, no longer having to steal chaste kisses so your friend wouldn’t feel out of place.

Iwaizumi looks on and smiles sadly, before turning back around and making his way home. Oikawa Tōru was a natural actor, but so was Iwaizumi Hajime. Iwaizumi could fool everyone into thinking he was a good friend. No one would ever know he was secretly in love with his best friends girlfriend.

And no one would know how absolutely shattered his heart was every time he’d see the both of you together.

[writinglizards]

No One Else

Summary: Jaskier hates winters and he hates Yule time, especially.

How is he supposed to spend the holidays with his loved one when his heart is in the Blue Mountains, tucked away safe in Kaer Morhen?

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Jaskier hasn't spent many Yule holidays with people he cares about, family or otherwise.

As a boy, he remembers a few Yules, but mostly his parents had gone off to bigger, grander Yule celebrations at the homes of other, more influential nobility, leaving Jaskier and his siblings at home. There may have been a few, insincere gifts as a child, but even those tapered off as he grew older. Then he'd been old enough for school and he’d spent...remarkably little time at home, even on the holidays. And then he'd gone off to Oxenfurt and never looked back.

Oxenfurt is more his home than Lettenhove ever was, but his Yules here are still mostly lonely. As a student, he'd been one of the few not to return home for the holidays and had spent most of them, therefore, shut up in his dorm writing and composing as if it were a normal night. As a lecturer? It's not much different, only a nicer set of rooms. There's no point visiting siblings he hasn't seen in years or spending the night down in a tavern with the rest of the sad sacks.

The only person he wants to spend his time with retreats into the mountains every winter and wouldn't stay in Oxenfurt even as a last resort. Jaskier knows, he's offered him lodgings here over the winter before and Geralt has always been quick with a reason he can’t accept. It’s a standing invitation, but Jaskier knows he’ll never take him up on it--he’s just lucky Geralt lets him stick around the rest of the year.

This year, they'd parted much earlier than normal. Geralt had been following a contract south and Jaskier had needed to be in Ellander for a festival and things just hadn't lined up. They'd parted before the first leaves had even begun to fall and Jaskier hates that he'd missed so much time with Geralt this year. After all, it's only a matter of time until he decides he's done humoring him and letting him tag along. He's lucky to have squeezed so many years out of the witcher already--each subsequent year is a gift and Jaskier is terrified of when they will finally end.

Either way, he hasn't seen Geralt since before the first turn of fall and he's missing him terribly, not that that's new at all. He always misses Geralt when they're apart, but winters are...harder. The chill reminds him of cool evenings camping under the stars, the snow always inevitably makes him think of Geralt's hair, bright in the sun, the lit holiday candles always glimmer in a way that makes him think of gold eyes in the dark.

Winters have never been Jaskier's favorite season, but missing Geralt makes them so much harder. Yule is always somehow the hight of that pain--the holiday meant to celebrate the year, to be spent with those you love--and Jaskier spends each and every one alone.

There's a knock at the door and Jaskier reluctantly uncurls from brooding in the armchair by the fire and goes to answer to find one of the attendants that runs the building. It's bizarre to have a personal visit in general, but especially on the night of Yule.

"Master Jaskier?" He's...nervous?

"Yes, Nichol?"

"There's ah...someone here to see you? We didn't let him in because you hadn't said--"

"It's fine, Nichol," who could possibly be here to see him? "Send him up, won't you?" He moves as if to close the door, but Nichol doesn't move.

The man shifts from foot to foot. "Y-yes, Master Jaskier. It's just--" Jaskier cocks an eyebrow, "he's--it's a witcher, sir." It's like being thrown headfirst into the Pontar in the middle of spring--ice cold and shocking. Something must be very wrong.

"Is he--" but there's no point in asking this nervous ball of a man about what the witcher looks like or how he is, is there? Jaskier can tell now, the fear hiding in the set of his shoulders. That’s not the disposition of someone who could be concerned with the well-being of a witcher. "Give me a moment, I'll follow you down."

Geralt's standing at the desk downstairs, whole and unharmed, and Jaskier lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Geralt!" He turns as Jaskier approaches and the look on his face brings Jaskier up short. There's...something wrong. "Geralt, is everything okay?"

"Hm." It's one of his cagey hums. Jaskier won't be getting an answer out of him anytime soon.

"Well, come on up, anyway. No reason to stand in the hall and talk." The attendant is visably relieved when Geralt hoists his swords back over his shoulder and follows Jaskier back to his rooms. Mentally, he makes a note to have a very strong word with the head attendant about sensitivity training the next time he sees her.

It's silent the entire walk back, which isn't new with Geralt, but Jaskier finds himself a little nervous about it anyway. What’s Geralt is going to think? He's never been to Oxenfurt with Jaskier, never seen his rooms, never met the people he works with or the shop owners that know him by name. It's...unsettling. And then there's the reason Geralt's here, which he still hasn't given an answer about.

The door is unlocked, so he shoves it open and ushers Geralt in. He ducks a bit as he passes Jaskier and enters the room and then he...stops. Freezes on the spot. Jaskier freezes in the doorway in response.

"What." He means it as a question, but it comes out taunt and frigid, like an accusation.

"Looks like you," Geralt grunts out after a long moment. Jaskier doesn't know if that's a compliment or not (probably not).

"Sorry, I can--" he starts, already darting forward to clean the loose parchment from the divan, stack the books laying haphazard all over the room, do something.

"No," Geralt interrupts, and Jaskier feels his stomach flip-flop almost unplesantly, "No, this is--it's nice, Jaskier. It's you." And that's...he doesn't know what to do with that.

"Oh," he laughs, just a little strangled, "okay then. Um. Make yourself at home, darling. Sorry there's no Yule decorations I'm...a little unfestive this year.” He’s never festive, actually, but Geralt doesn’t know that. “Have you eaten?" He doesn't wait for Geralt to answer, "of course you haven't. I'll call for something. Won't be more than a moment." He ducks out into the hallway again without waiting for an answer.

He spends the entire walk to the kitchen trying to calm his rapid heartbeat, walk off the nerves that have made their home in the set of his shoulders, the fidget of his fingertips against his thigh. It's just Geralt.

He orders a spread and doesn't let the curious look the cook gives get to him at all as he paces in the hallway and waits for her to finish.

"You know we could send this up for you, Jaskier? No one should have to pace the hallway Yule night." The cook says when she hands the plate over, finally. He smiles at her, only a little tightly.

"Oh, I know Margret, darling. Needed the walk, though. Thank you, love." She 'hm's at him but lets him go, something akin to the noise Geralt makes when he's not buying Jaskier's bullshit. It makes him a little sick, how much he both loves and hates that noise--it sounds wrong coming from someone else's throat.

The walk back to his rooms is both too long and too short--he's worked himself up into a minior frenzy by the time he's at his own door again.

He takes a moment to breathe, eyes closed, before he forces a smile back on his face and pushes through the door. "Food's here," he calls, setting the spread down on the low table in the sitting room. Geralt's nowhere to be found. "Geralt?"

He finds him in the bedroom, the spare shirt of Geralt's that Jaskier nabbed in a moment of weakness earlier just this year to keep him company for the winter in his hand. "Uh, I'm--I'm sorry that's--"

"I thought I'd been a shirt short." His tone is even and neutral and it makes Jaskier want to tear his hair out. Does he care? Does he not? Jaskier can’t tell.

"It, um, must have ended up in my pack. I meant to bring it back this spring." The look on Geralt's face says he doesn't believe a word. "Food's here!" he deflects.

"Mm." He allows himself to be redirected and follows Jaskier back into the sitting room, leaving the shirt on the bed. He settles himself on the divan after Jaskier clears him a spot and digs into the meat and cheese spread without a word. As far as Yule meals go, it’s not very traditional, but Jaskier’s sure it doesn’t matter. He settles himself on the floor by the table and picks at the spread absently, giving Geralt the time he needs to eat unharassed. He tries not to think about how this is the first Yule he's spent with anyone in any capacity since he was a boy and very determinately does not get emotional over the fact that it's Geralt here with him, even accidentally. He can feel his eyes on him as he plucks at a loose thread on his doublet and tries not to fret.

"Soooo--" he says after Geralt's eaten his fill and leaned back, kicking his legs out in front of him, "--what brings you here to Oxenfurt, Geralt?" He winces immediately, but he's already asked, so-- "Shouldn't you be at Kaer Morhen already?"

Jaskier can already tell he's fucked up.

"I won't stay long," Geralt says, expression blank the way it only is when he's withholding his true reaction.

"I didn't say you couldn't stay, you oaf," Jaskier snaps immediately, tries not to let his irritation get the best of him because he knows what Geralt’s like when he meets anger for frosty frigidity, "I would be deeply offended if you left, actually."

Geralt stares at him, hard. "I’d be...intruding," he says, no elaboration.

"What? Gods, Geralt, intruding on what? I'm--" he gestures to the expanse of his very empty rooms, "--pretty fucking far from busy, if you hadn't noticed."

Geralt's expression does pinch at that. "I noticed. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why aren't you--" he pauses, seems to be searching for the right words, "--why aren't you...involved? Doing things. It's Yule, Jaskier, why are you--"

"Alone?" Jaskier interrupts, seeing where this is going. Geralt doesn't say anything, just stares at him, steady. Jaskier sighs, hard. "Who else would I spend winters with, Geralt?"

"I don't know," Geralt says slowly, "I just...I assumed you had someone."

"You assumed I--Geralt. Tell me you didn't think I had some...some lover I'd never told you about waiting for me here in Oxenfurt every winter."

The look on Geralt's face tells him he thought exactly that.

"Melitele's tits, Geralt." Jaskier sighs, breathes in slowly in an attempt to calm himself. "So why are you here, then? Since it's pretty clear you aren't here to take me up on the offer of wintering with me."

Geralt's expression does something complicated Jaskier can't parse before it smooths out into slightly constipated indifference again.

"The passes are snowed in."

And that's-- "Yes, Geralt. I know that," Jaskier says, drawing on the infinite well of patience he seems to only have access to when trying to coax Geralt out of being an obtuse ass. "Why didn't you make it up the mountain before the passses snowed in?"

Geralt visibly swallows. Jaskier can't help but track the bob of his adams apple. "I--" the gust of breath is audible as Geralt sighs, shoulders loosening in something like defeat, "I missed you, Jaskier."

The fire crackles in the hearth. It'll need another log soon. "What?"

Geralt looks like he'd rather be hunting drowners. "I missed you, Jaskier. And I was--I was thinking about coming to see you but I--I couldn't, I wasn't sure--" Jaskier will not faint like some kind of wilting damsel, even if he feels as if he can't get enough air all of a sudden. "--And then the pass was closed and I. I don't--I won't stay if you don't want me to. I'll figure something out."

"Geralt," Jaskier says. It comes out barely audable and he has to clear his throat and try again, "Geralt, love, of course you can stay." Something in Geralt's posture loosens in relief this time, as if he'd still been afraid Jaskier might ask him to leave until that moment, "of course you can. I missed you too."

Something flashes in Geralt's eyes, something that looks a little like surprise. "Oh."

They tip-toe around each other the rest of the evening. Jaskier helps him bring his bags up after a brief visit to Roach during which he slips her a sugar cube he knows Geralt pretends not to see. He gives Geralt space and time to get settled until his armor is off and his bags partially unpacked. They don't really talk until Jaskier realizes he's going to have to either offer Geralt his bed or make up the divan for him. And. Well. He's a weak man, after all.

"Geralt?"

"Hm?" He’s taking stock of his armor by the fire when Jaskier ambles up beside him to stand at his shoulder. He tries not to fidget, despite the nerves trying to choke him. There’s no reason this should be different from any other time they’ve shared lodgings (except of course, it is).

"Going to bed soon, love?"

He stares at his armor just a beat too long before he leans back to look up into Jaskier's face, expression mildly puzzled. "Mm?"

"I--" he can feel his face heat, "I wanted to--to offer to share. You know since I--I don't have--"

"I can sleep on the floor, Jaskier."

"No! No, I--I have plenty of room. And I. I want you in my bed, Geralt." That comes out...not quite the way Jaskier meant it. Or it comes out too honest, actually. He absolutely wants Geralt in his bed like that, he just doesn't think Geralt would want it.

Interestingly, Geralt's cheeks color and he looks away. Jaskier expects him to refuse again. "Okay," he says, soft, and something in Jaskier's chest flutters.

He follows Jaskier into the bedroom and it's...almost normal. Like sharing at an inn, except this is Jaskier's room, Jaskier's space. It's as much a choice as it is a necessity.

The shirt on the bed taunts him. He wants to wear it--has been wearing it--but with Geralt here--

He’s stolen from his painful reverie when Geralt thrusts the shirt at him, gaze averted.

“Wha--”

“Wear it,” Geralt rumbles, already slipping into bed, predictably on the side closest to the door. Something warm and bright burns through him. He does as he’s told.

The material falls to roughly mid-thigh. It fits well enough in the shoulders, but Geralt’s slightly longer and bulkier torso means it billows on him a little like a slip. It makes him feel impossibly small and it’s...nice. Even nicer to settle together, not quite touching, and Jaskier reluctantly relaxes. He's drifting comfortably but not quite asleep when Geralt shifts and tucks himself along Jaskier's side, rests his head gently on Jaskier's shoulder and it's suddenly all too much.

"Geralt," he whispers, afraid to break the spell they seem to have fallen under. They are well outside their normal playbook at this point and Jaskier has no idea how to navigate the situation, only knows he wants it to continue, wants Geralt close.

Geralt stiffens and stays still for a beat too long before he starts to pull away.

"No, love," Jaskier corrects immediately, rests his hand on the back of Geralt's neck to keep him close, tangles his fingers in his hair, "no, please stay." Geralt shivers and tucks himself in closer again, eyes resolutely closed.

"Sorry," he says.

"Don't apologize, darling. I'm--I'm happy you're here, you know? I haven't spent a Yule with anyone in a long time." Geralt makes a tiny noise of acknowledgment. He should say it, he should say it. If there's ever been a time it's now, clothed in Geralt’s old shirt, with Geralt curled along his side, the heat of him radiating through the thin material. He presses his lips to the top of Geralt's head and feels him relax slowly. His heart pounds.

"I know you're in love with someone," Geralt breathes, warm against the soft skin of the bard's throat, "I figured it must be someone you had here. But--" Jaskier's breath hitches, "there really is no one else, is there?"

"No," Jaskier says, voice just a little strained.

"Who is it?" It's barely more than a breath.

"Geralt," Jaskier sighs softly.

"Humor me," he murmurs, presses his lips to the exposed skin he can reach. Jaskier's breath punches out of him.

"It's always been you," he says, running his fingers through Geralt's hair. Geralt makes a small noise. He seems...content. Soft and quiet against Jaskier's side.

"I thought it was too good to be true," Geralt says into the dark when Jaskier doesn't think he'll speak again. "Figured there must be someone else." His chest aches.

"It's only been you since I was twenty years old, Geralt," and oh, that's a bizarre feeling, to get that one off his chest. He's very aware of the fact Geralt hasn't said it back, but...he's here, isn't he?

"Idiot," Geralt scoffs, "I should have left you behind at that inn in Posada." To the ear untrained in Geralt-isms, it sounds dismissive, harsh. Jaskier hears the fondness in it, all the things Geralt isn’t saying.

"Where would I be without you, witcher?" He breathes, feels the tears prickle at the corner of his eyes.

"Safer," Geralt says, without missing a beat. Jaskier scoffs.

"You know, traditionally Yule visitors bring a gift, not verbally berate their hosts." Geralt snorts a laugh, presses his lips to Jaskier's skin again.

"Mm, thought you might like this gift," Geralt says, spreading a palm above Jaskier's pounding heartbeat.

"Geralt, you did not wait until Yule to come to Oxenfurt so you could make a tasteless joke about gifting me your company, tell me you didn't."

"I didn't," Geralt repeats, but Jaskier can hear the smile in his voice.

"Oh, you are awful," he says, delighted.

"There's also lute strings in my pack for you," he says, "I bought them in case...well. They're yours anyway." Jaskier knows what he means. He bought them in case there had been someone else, in case Geralt had been right.

"Thank you, love," he chokes out past the lump in his throat. It's the first time anyone's gotten him anything for Yule since he was a child. "I'm sorry I don't have anything for you."

"Just you is enough," Geralt breathes into the curve of his throat. Jaskier feels fit to burst.

He may not like winter and he may not care for Yule, but this one? This one's just fine.

[excitedlysuffering]

Green With Envy

It’s past 2am and my eyes hurt so it’s unedited for now sorry y’all😅

Original Request (from Wattpad account): What makes the boys jealous, if possible?

Guest stars: Sasori and Sai!

Masterlist     

Naruto~

Oh, this boy… he’s too oblivious sometimes he doesn’t even know to be jealous. He was at a hot spring with friends once and someone says, “(Y/N) is so hot…” Naruto just grinned and said, “Yeah, she really is.”

But that doesn’t mean he won’t protect your honor. If someone says something a little too… risque like ‘Yeah, I’d tap that’ for example, get ready for more Narutos than you can count all charging you with a Rasengan.

He will not stand other guys cozying up to you. He’s the one who should be blessed with your hugs and cuddles. Won’t hesitate to cause a scene and yell to the entire world that he loves you and won’t let any other guy make a pass at you.

“Naruto, you didn’t need to go that far! You blasted him through three walls!” He’s endearing, really.

Sasuke~

Is jealousy an Uchiha thing or just a Sasuke thing? One of life’s many mysteries. Anywho, unlike Naruto, the second your name is brought up in conversation, he goes on guard and he’s listening closely.

If anything is said that he deems inappropriate, whether it be disparaging or otherwise, Sasuke had better be held back or he just might punch you into next week.

“Sasuke, calm down! He just said I had good taste in clothes!”

Even though he can easily get jealous, he knows the importance of freedom and he trusts you. He won’t come guns blazing (or sword slashing rather) and drag you away unless you need it of course.

The last thing he wants is for you to feel like you’re dating your dad or something. He’s very blunt and if he becomes uneasy with the way another male is talking to you, he’ll let said male know. Maybe after scowling with his Sharingan activated, however.

Neji~

Neji doesn’t really get jealous per se, more like offended on your behalf. Because of his upbringing, which taught him manners and the utmost respect, he really can’t understand talking about girls like they’re objects? Will never refer to a woman as ‘hot’ or anything like that.

If someone even dares speak of you like that, (even if you’re not necessarily together yet) he will fight them, and they will experience the 64 palms technique.

He especially hates people in your personal space. He really does trust you, just not others. Is not afraid to embarrass someone on your behalf. Half the time his glare is enough to scare them off, but some people are just clueless. (They wake up in the hospital)

“Neji! You can’t just throw me over your shoulder and leave! And that guy looked like he had seen a ghost?!” Needless to say, even cool, calm, and collected Neji has his limits.

Shikamaru~

Shika is too laid back to get jealous over little things. Somewhat like Neji, he doesn’t get jealous. He might feel threatened on your behalf, but never jealous. He can trust you with his life why shouldn’t he trust you with your relationship?

However, if someone is clearly harassing you or just generally making you uncomfortable, he will not hesitate to step in and make them leave. He won’t resort to physical violence (too much work), but he will intimidate them or put his genius to use and play some kind of trick on them.

He honestly has endless patience and at the same time no patience? Patience with you if you’re having a pleasant conversation with someone, but will go from 0-100 (or 50, really, anything more is a lot of effort) real quick.

“Shika, that guy thought he was really paralyzed, thanks to your shadow possession!” Being jealous is a waste of time, but clever revenge is always a treat for Shika.

Kiba~

So. Jealous. So. Easily. Kiba is naturally animalistic (in the best way) and just like a dog, can be very possessive. If explicitly asked, he will try to tone down his jealous fits, but will still be protective. If he does have free reign, however, oh boy…

No chill at all, whatsoever. Whether it’s absolutely destroying the object of his rage or just simply making out with you right there. No matter how annoyed he may get, he respects you with every fiber of his being and would never tell you to change or try to control you. He wouldn’t ever embarrass you (unless Kiba and Akamaru pummeling a room full of guys is embarrassing).

Just let him FIND OUT someone is making you feel the slightest bit of unease. One second, they’re chatting you up and then BAM! There’s a flash of white and a huge dog ready to maul them.

“Kiba, what do you mean they all looked at me for too long?! We walked in the door, of course, they turned to look!”

Gaara~

Gaara is a bit of a conundrum, but in a way that makes sense? Like, he doesn’t feel the need to get jealous of guys because when you leave, he’s going to be kissing you goodnight, and he’s the one who gets to spoil you.

However, he will get jealous of little things. Oh, you’ve spent a good amount of time playing with an animal/pet? Be prepared to walk in on Gaara giving them a stern lecture on stealing you from them. Gaara knows he has any potential suitors beat, but tiny adorable animals and children? In his mind, he can never be too cautious.

He gets a little pouty but that can easily be cured with cuddles, sometimes with that evil little pet that stole your affections from him. He can never stay jealous for long, he views it as an unproductive waste of time. He could be actively trying to get your attention, but instead, he’s going to be sulking in a corner? Yeah, no.

“Gaara! Stop scolding my cat, that’s not doing anything!”

Sai~

On the rare occasion that this cinnamon roll gets jealous, he’s confused and shocked. Like just imagine the surprised Pikachu face and that’s him. He knows what jealousy is, he can identify it just fine, but he doesn’t know why he’s jealous.

You aren’t doing anything, all you did was laugh at someone else’s jokes, but still… do you find them funnier than him? Are you going to leave him because he’s not that funny?! Cue the slow onset into insanity… Poor Sai is losing his mind to paranoia and made-up scenarios.

Will most certainly drag you away (gently) from whoever is taking your attention and leave. He doesn’t even bother with a fake smile, they don’t deserve it. He’ll explain to you calmly even though he’s panicking on the inside. Once he is back to normal he’ll show you his nearest artwork.

“What the-! Sai, you can’t just draw caricatures on people’s car!” You don’t even want to know how he figures out which car is theirs...

Kakashi~

Too cocky to be jealous. He has the right to be though because one glance at him without his face mask can cause instant pregnancy. Anywho, he knows you love him and some guy trying to hit on you like some high school douche isn’t going to change that.

He does like to intervene, however, just to flex like ‘yeah, I’m the boyfriend, now get lost’.

He’s not big on PDA, so he won’t start kissing you to ward off strangers, but he will wrap on arm around you or hold your hand and ask who your ‘friend’ is.

When there’s that one stubborn person who won’t take a hint, Kakashi doesn’t mind rocking someone’s world or getting kicked out, he needed to perfect that one offense technique anyways. He’s pretty laid back though, so it has to be somewhat drastic for this though, plus he knows you can handle yourself.

“A thousand years of death?! Isn’t it weird to be poking old men in the butt?!

~Akatsuki~

Pein~

Pfft. Who does he have to be jealous of? He’s a god among mortals, after all. To him, you’re a goddess and as such you belong with someone like him, not the peasants around you.

But on the offhand chance that someone doesn’t heed his godly status, he will not hesitate to pull you into his side and yell ‘Almighty Push’ and totally obliterate that loser. (A/N: Holy crap I think that needs to be a one-shot cuz, wow, Pein being all protective is making me swoon?)

If it’s not a big deal, he’ll easily let you take care of it. If you’re strong enough to catch Pein’s attention, you’re more than strong enough to deal with some lowlife. That doesn’t mean, however, that they won’t feel his wrath too.

If you ever want to witness a true royal rumble, dare someone to mess with Pein’s S/O. It’d be an epic tag team match (slaughter, really) for the ages. One would d be surprised how quick he can lose his cool when it comes to you.

“Pein, that’s the fifth time this month! Kakuzu is going to murder me if I ask for money to fix this wall!”

Deidara~

Need I even say it? Jealous boy all the way. You’re his favorite masterpiece so why should let an uncultured swine who doesn’t even understand your worth touch you? Rhetorical question, he wouldn’t.

He is not above fighting or placing a bomb on someone who gives you one too many glances. He’d make sure they knew it wasn’t art, they weren’t good enough for that, before blowing the offender up.

No one and he means no one gets to talk bad about his S/O. If someone insults you in his presence they might as well as swallowed one of his explosives and trusted him not to blow them up.

Will one 100% hide you from view if you look too appealing. He thinks you look ravishing, but he’s the only one who should be able to think that, in his opinion. Don’t worry, no one’s ever gotten close enough to harass you with Dei around. His one-eyed scowl is a great deterrent.

“Deidara! You blew up my favorite restaurant! He didn’t even say anything to me!”

Sasori~

Would rather die before admitting he was jealous. As adamant about not being jealous as he is about art being eternal. That’s not to say that he won’t take action though. He will use chakra strings to make the perpetrator walk away, meanwhile making them bump into literally everything in the general vicinity.

The two of you don’t leave the base all that often so it’s unusual to see an envious Sasori action, but it’s a real treat when it happens. After he deals with whatever idiot crossed him, he’ll be a bit more affectionate that day/night.

Not huge things, but instead of working on puppets all night, he’d be more apt to hold you that night. Average people hitting on you make him insecure because he realizes he’s not that great at normal relationships but he still doesn’t want to lose you. That feeds into his jealousy and he figures the only way to get rid of it is to make sure those other guys can’t offer anything he doesn’t have.

“Sasori! If you wanted a hug, you could’ve said that instead of treating that guy like a ball inside of a pinball machine!”

[cadykeus-clay]

i would low key love to hear your tangent about the differences there are between how VM and TM9 react with the world

ah, the perfect excuse for me to put off my 30 page reading, thank you :3

(i’m also going to preface this by saying most of this is stuff i’ve picked from other people’s various metas and i absolutely do not remember who those authors might be so i apologize jsdlkfsd)

....

but uh ... basically i feel like vox machina and the nein have a completely opposite standard for how they interact with the people the consider to be their “inner circle” vs. everyone who doesn’t qualify as that. 

vm is a group of individuals who, overall, had one cruel person that slighted them but didn’t really destroy their faith in humanity. (their faith in themselves is a whole different horse. that ones .... woof. looking at you percy scanlan tary keyleth.) Percy had the briarwoods, Grog had Kevdak, the twins and tary had their father. so, the way that they interact with just random people that they meet is - with exceptions of course - amicable, or at the very least, respectably polite. 

they’re the saviours of emon, the freers of whitestone. they have festivals held in their honor. they have kid fans and random farmers knocking on their doorstep for aid because they’ve heard tales of the kindness. sure, vex can be a hassle when she’s haggling down a price, and keyleth tends to poke buttons in way that gets her arrested a fair amount of the time, but at the end of the day they’re the people’s heroes, and they’re happy to be that!

their inner circle, however, is much more closely guarded. they have a few chosen allies (gilmore, allura, kima, kash and zahra, cassandra) and that’s it. They’re hesitant with anyone else trying to creep into their personal fold. Hell, it took beating up tary and him breaking down sobbing for them to even consider liking him. they’ve been burned by raishan and clarota and hotis, by individuals they let in and who then stabbed them in the back. they’ll do almost any favor for a stranger who asks, but they’ll be damned if they trust anyone to actually join their midst. vox machina is vox machina is vox machina and that’s incredibly hard to change. 

the nein, on the other hand, are fundamentally a group of rejects. some of them have specific people they can point a finger at and say “i hate you”, but those problems stem from a greater societal rejection. beau has daddy issues, but she also felt rejected by the entire cobalt soul until dairon found her. caleb has trent’s fucked up shit, but he also has this constant pressure of having failed his entire country, not to mention the faceless hate piled up on him from living homeless for a year. jester’s whole deal is that she had to hide from LITERALLY ALL OF SOCIETY for her entire childhood because she wasn’t supposed to exist.

and so, the nein are shitheads to society right back. they’re mean to random barkeeps, they trash their inns and don’t say sorry, they mock most NPCs behind their back (or sometimes right to their face. @ marius).  Every favor asked of them comes with a ton of deliberation and arguing about whether its bait or not (ie bowlgate, the giants in the mine outside rosohna, essiks “favors”). 

but, on the flip side, they’re willing to tug just about anyone into their ranks. if society already hates them by default, what’s there to lose if they get close to someone? nothing, there’s only more love to be found! so it’s adopting random bird girls on the road, its sending cupcakes to a hag that cursed your friend, its sending messages to everyone you’ve ever met just to check in, it’s making someone sit in the hot tub with you and share trauma and then when you find out he started a war you say “we get it bro” and kiss him on the forehead. it’s “welcome to the mighty nein”. 

and it’s also very interesting, i think, to talk about the ways in which the party interacts with themselves. vox machina was a family, undoubtedly, as is the nein now. but vox machina ... had a lack of desperation to their attachment. i mean for one, they took a full year off from adventuring together and scattered cross continent. even if the nein gets down time like they did, i expect they’ll just trail each other around like lemmings. (its kind of what they’ve been doing from hiatus until now with the eiselcross arc starting). 

but vox machina just ... went. and scanlan walked away from the party and (after the heat of the moment), they agreed to just let him be. and pike would spend weeks on quests for sarenrae without much of a complaint. even at the end - and this will be a controversial take, i know - but they let vax go pretty easily. (sure, mechanically they were wiped from fighting, but besides tears the only attempt to defy trq was from percy, which even he gave up on with minimal struggle because vax said to stop it). that’s not to say they don’t miss each other when they’re gone! of course they do!!! but they trust each other to go off into the world, because the world as whole is a place they trust. 

(the one exception to this might be vex, who fought every one of these situations adamantly, but that’s a whole separate essay about her issues stemming from an innate sense of ‘failed family’ that she’s desperate to not repeat, and less about a mistrust of everyone until proven otherwise)

the nein on the other hand. hoo boy. they’ve been hot glued to each other’s hips since day one. So many quotes (many from beau, which could be worked into my previous vex essay, as they’re very much cross-campaign foils. getting sidetracked again) are about their inability to separate. “You don’t get to choose who cares about you”; “No one goes”; “If one of us is gone for more than 7 days assume we’re dead and have a funeral”; “Do we have co-dependecy issues?” Jester’s cool personal vacation to her god’s get together turned into a party with everyone because why would she go anywhere without the nein? Veth’s time with Luc and/or Yeza is constantly overrun with the rest of the nein dropping in for fun. Even small things like shopping trips are so much more “oh well if you’re going then i’ll go” snowballs than they ever were with vm. 

Also, ashley’s absences had to be much more forceful than in c1. Post episode 11, the only time yasha left the group (rather than someone else piloting her) of her own free will was when she ran in grief from molly’s grave. And yes, there’s something to be said about “oh they were on a boat for a long time she had nowhere to go” but if Matt can justify astral projection pike, i feel like he could justify ‘the stormlord teleports yasha away for a bit’ and he chose not to. 

Because!!!!!!!!! of the dynamic that the nein has!!!!!!!! Because of this idea that the world is bad and cold and full of hate and in here in our little hut (soon to be mansion??????) it’s safe and good and full of love and no one can leave because then you’d be going somewhere much more dangerous and we can’t have that, now can we? 

.....

well uh. that’s a lot of words. i hope they made some sense??? and were at all what you were expecting???? thank u for sending the ask tho this was very fun to write!!

tldr: vox machina is a group of people who were betrayed by one bad figure, so they trust the world and are wary of the individual; whereas the nein is a group of people who were failed by the world at large so they welcome the loner and fear the pack. 

[awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands]

Laid out cold, now we're both alone (part 2)

A/N: Hello, this fic is very important to me because I tried my best to give justice to such a cool idea and I hope I did a good job. Plus I don't do multichapter ofter, so this was a challenge. 

I wanna thank the lovely @livdonna for proofreading my work, you're literally the best <3. 

P.S. If you want to get tagged in the next chapters, let me know.

Summary: Nikki visits Mick to give him a very important task.

Warnings: Major Character Death,Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Drug Use, Angst, Overdose.

Pairing: Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee

Chapter 1

Taglist: @slashscowboyboots @witchytombstonesmile @arnold-layne @emometalhead​ @i-dont-like-rice​ @nikki-sexx​ @smokeandmirrorz​

Mick was supposed to not give a shit about Nikki. He and the stupid drummer had tormented him and his wife for months on ends, making the whole tour a living hell and he didn’t need to have even more things to worry about. So what if his bassist decided to get addicted to heroin? He was a fucking dumbass but it wasn’t his problem.  He would end up killing himself and it wasn’t like Mick could have done something, not when his whole body was torturing him.

The only problem was that he cared, deep down. He cared about the fucker and hearing the news that he was gone forever hit him.  He lost one of his friends and the band all together in a day, what would have happened? He hated to admit he was scared about the future, it was hard to imagine Motley Crue without Nikki.

He sighed, turning off yet another discussion about his death. They didn’t call him yet but something was telling him that they had to release a statement soon.  Doc was probably freaking out somewhere crying for all his millions of dollars lost.

“Fucking Nikki, you had to die at the worst moment, didn’t you?”

“Yeah… sorry about that, man” A voice incredibly similar to Nikki said, making Mick jump up.

Nikki didn’t feel anything, one moment they were in the ambulance and the other they were on the beach.  He was confused for a moment before he remembered that Mick had a beach house, and stared at it for a bit. He didn’t know much about the guitarist, maybe almost nothing but he respected him so much.  He was one of the strongest dudes he had ever met.

The weirdest thing about all of this was probably how he was only able to feel certain things, no cravings or sand under his feet as he was walking, yet he would still feel guilt, fear, love, worry… it didn’t make sense but he wasn’t in the mood to question the universe’s rules.

People can’t see you until you decide to show yourself. You have to remember or otherwise they can’t hear or see you.

The voice still freaked him out, but at the same time he was grateful for it to be there… it made him feel less alone, which was great considering how he felt lonely for his entire life.

“You’re not alone Nikki, I’ll always be there with you, through highs and lows”

“God it sounds like a marriage vow, T-Bone”

“Well if I could I’d marry now…”

He shook his head, trying to get the memory out.  It wasn’t the time to be sentimental and risk fucking everything up, so he walked ( more like flew) through the front door and found Mick sitting on the couch.

“Fucking Nikki, you had to die at the worst moment, didn’t you?”

“Yeah… sorry about that, man”. The bassist hoped that he was heard, otherwise it would have been pretty embarrassing.

Mick visibly jumped at hearing Nikki’s voice and quickly turned around to look at him.  From his widened eyes and confused expression, he knew he probably looked fucking transparent.

“Okay first of all why the hell are you here talking to me if you’re dead? Then why the fuck can I see myself through you ?”

The black haired man just realized that he had no idea how to explain everything and be believed, he just went along with whatever the voice in his head was saying, but now it was different. He fumbled with his hand and realized he couldn’t feel them, while he tried to come up with the best way to explain to his friend how he was a ghost and why he was there.

“I died… I have no idea how I came back but I have unfinished business and I need to talk to you!”

The guitarist looked at him up and down, clearly skeptical.  However, there wasn’t much arguing… Nikki’s ghost was literally standing in front of him.

“Okay I have no idea if this is a dream, I’m dead or in a coma, or simply I drank too much but now I’ll grab some vodka and you’ll spill your little secrets as you like”.

Nikki smiled a bit… He honestly felt normal for the first time since he was brought back.  Having Mick joking was so familiar, usually Tommy was the aim of his jokes and they all laughed because they were all so unexpected…

Tommy. Thinking about him still hurt, again he wondered if he was okay and how much he missed him… but it wasn’t his time now.  He had other things to talk about as Mick came back into the living room with his glass.

“Mick… you gotta promise me that you won’t let Motley Crue die, that you will fight to keep the band’s legacy.”

The older man looked at him surprised, rolling his eyes.

“Well that’s a bit hard when our bassist and songwriter died!”

Rage and resentment were heavy in his voice but there was more : fear and sadness. Nikki felt guilty and he fucking hated it, it was so unlike him but he couldn’t help it… Mick cared about the band as much as he did.  He always said the band was his life, before heroin came into the picture, but it was also Mick’s and he probably destroyed everything.

“You will find another one, another bassist who is also a songwriter…” The words felt so foreign coming from his mouth.  They even hurt a bit but they were necessary.

“I know you care about this band as much as I do, Mick. I know how much you’ve worked your ass off in shitty bands, trying to find the one that was going to break… I might be dead but Crue can’t have the same fate”.

Mick scoffed, taking a long sip of his vodka.

“It’s not easy, it’s not like we can find the perfect match like we did. Plus, everyone will probably hate him for replacing you!”

The frustration was almost tangible, but there was something else… Mick was scared, he knew everything was about to fade away because of Nikki’s actions, he was already looking at the boat sinking. Nikki started to panic because his band had to live, even in his death! It was pointless and selfish but that was the only thing people could remind him of.

“If you give up, then Vince and Tommy will do the same! I know that you think no one will take you, but the truth is they will. Crue is what it is because of our vision, you are part of it and I’m asking you to keep it going. Think of this as my dying man’s wish… even if I’m already dead”

The older man’s grip on his glass got tighter, his eyes lost in thought as he was pondering Nikki’s words. It was hard to take in, hell that was an understatement, it was fucking insane and probably wouldn’t work but the bassist needed to have this false hope.

“It’s so fucking weird, you know? To realize you’re fucking dead yet here talking to me.”

He was deflecting, Nikki knew it, but didn’t want to push it too far. He learned to know Mick, he kept his promises and he was a hard worker and with a good dose of luck and jokes, you got him to your side.

“Yeah, do you remember how I said you weren’t going to make it in that interview? Well, karma hits like a bitch!”

“Mick might not make it , he drinks a little too much and it looks rough” Mick quoted, trying to imitate Nikki’s voice.

“Yeah and then you said something like I heard what you said and you’re dead, fuck I guess you were right” He laughed but Mick didn’t.

Oh c’mon so what if he was joking about his death? It’s not like anyone really cared about him.  They just saw him as a burden, which he was. Not his mom, nor his band or his Tommy would have really missed him… they would eventually move on.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” He said annoyed but his lips formed a small smile.

“I know, I know. Mick… please promise me that. If Crue is going to end, then my whole life didn’t mean anything! Ple…” He stopped himself, he was so fucking close to begging but he couldn’t. Nikki Sixx didn’t fucking beg, not in life or death.

“I’m thinking about it!”

He really meant the first part. He spent all his teenage and adult years creating the band of his dreams and making sure they conquered the world.  This band was his escape; his attempt at redemption after his shitty childhood. Nobody loved Frank Feranna but he didn’t care, he would become Nikki Sixx and be super fucking famous!

He didn’t need anyone’s love, except that he did.

“ I love you, Nikki.”

“ No you don’t, nobody does, T-Bone”

“Well I fucking do. You gotta pass on my dead body before you’ll hear me not saying it over and over”

His heart might have stopped, but he still felt the big wave of nostalgia hitting him. He couldn’t do it, he would have never been ready to see him again.

“Okay, I will. But listen to me, it won’t be easy and I’m an old man with a fucked up back, so don’t send demons against me if I fail!” The little spark of determination in his eyes relaxed Nikki, he was on board.

“I fucking knew you were the best, Mars! If I wasn’t dead I’d probably tattoo your face on me as a thank you!”

“Oh gross, never say that again!” He pretended to be disgusted but his eyes betrayed him, the small softness in them told Nikki he felt touched.

“Who knows, maybe in hell they have tattoos for the ghosts. God we used to hate each other and now we are two peas in a pod.”

“I still hate you.”

“Ugh, you crushed my heart Mick”

The guitarist flipped him off, rolling his eyes. Nikki desperately wanted to keep talking, if he did then he could have pretended nothing changed, right? He didn’t have to face Vince and Tommy and go through the light… everything would have stayed the same or he could fool himself that it would.

I think it’s time to go to the next person.

The voice was demanding yet still calm. Nikki knew that he couldn’t stay forever, they had to prevent spirits from just lingering into the real world like that, it made him a bit angry but he understood it. It wasn’t like he could have done much anyway…He was just a shell of what he used to be.

“I gotta go Mick…” He wanted to punch himself because he sounded so fucking pathetic, but the other man gave him a compassionate smile.

What he fuck are you, a little small puppy? Oh look Frankie is scared to leave his illusion of a family.

Mick walked him to the other without saying anything, but before turning the handle, which was pointless because Nikki could have just passed through the door, he broke the silence.

“Try to give us some signs, okay? Show us that you’re there… but don’t you fucking dare spill my vodka or I’ll make you two times dead!”

“Oh that’s exactly what I’ll do, thanks for the suggestion!”

He stepped outside and looked at Mick one last time.

“You promised, alien. You gotta do it!”

“Yeah yeah, you better repay me when I come to join you there…” And with one last look, Mick closed the door.

Nikki felt all of the weight crushing down on his body, even if it was made of air. He simply stood still, his mind racing like a freight train, trying to take everything in but also getting ready for his next move… being overwhelmed was an understatement, he felt peeled down like an orange and this was only the beginning. He felt like a fucking coward but he just wanted to get over it, was it that bad to accept his fate and disappear without facing anyone?

You are going to abandon him again? You know why you need to talk to Vince, and you know this will be your last chance to see him, asshole!

He went to kick the sand, but he couldn’t touch it. God, how frustrating was that!

So where are we going next?

Nikki would have wanted to scream at him, give him the middle finger and just run away but it wouldn’t have been helpful, would it? So he forced himself to be as neutral as possible.

“Vince Neil. Take me to his house.”

[variousqueerthings]

Tom Hardy Movies rated least to most queer

I made a list of some Tom Hardy movies and I rated them based on my own, non-specific criteria about what makes a movie queer. Results below the cut.

(Some films not included, because I haven’t watched them yet, because Mr Hardy’s only in them for a few minutes, because the subject matter doesn’t lend itself to this list, or because I just don’t want’em here. TV series also not included. The list is organised into both groups and ratings, because I’m doing The Most.)

Movies are divided into four groups and rated from 0 – 10 on the Queer-Scale, scroll down to the bottom if you want the ratings without the commentary.

Disclaimer: This list is subjective. Don’t come at me because I didn’t rate Inception higher, Nolan himself is as queer as cargo shorts. 

1. This movie would make more sense if it were queer

If this movie were queer it… might not become a perfect film all of a sudden, but it’d make a hell of a lot more sense than what’s actually going on. With an occasional dose of “are the cis-straights okay?”

This Means War (2012): So Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are ostensibly both in love with Reese Witherspoon, but say “I love you” to each other pretty much constantly throughout the movie and their friendship is often presented as a domestic partnership. Cool, cool, cooool.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10. This movie hate-crimed me by having Tom Hardy literally spell out his relationship with Chris Pine, only for the script to then have him say… “can you imagine all that… but with a woman…” Later on the movie explicitly denies polyamory is possible. Fuck this film.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012): Batman movies should always be queer. Mr. Hardy’s the only one who acceptably camps it up, despite Nolan’s best attempts to make him “acceptably gruff.” No matter what you do, Bane is a massive daddy in a mask and thanks to Mr Hardy’s honestly iconic fucking speech pattern in this film, it goes from pretty atrociously straight to just queer enough to imagine a future where Robert Pattinson plays batman and maybe adopts a bunch of kids.

(the only truly decent mask in this franchise tbh)

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. Mr Hardy’s back is the one that’s actually broken carrying any semblance of fun in this overly long movie all on his own.

Lawless (2012): Wow, this really was the year of the not-queer-enough, wasn’t it? Look, it’s “based on a real story,” but it’s also a movie and movies don’t need to stick to the truth, and this one certainly doesn’t. Was the guy queer in real life? I don’t know. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is that it’s just kind of an eh movie and maybe being queer would add something to it. One of those “but why make someone queer? because it’s always more interesting to do so,” movies.

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. It’s just not queer. But Tom Hardy wears cardigans and described his character as a “mother figure,” which adds an interesting dynamic to him.

2. Actually Queer but in a homophobic way

Tom Hardy plays a canonically queer character, yaaay. The whole movie contains a strange sense of the director being too not-queer to actually engage with that and everything around him is almost aggressively straight, noooo.

RocknRolla (2008): Honestly this movie has the funniest coming out scene ever + that familiar undertone of “all these manly men secretly want to fuck each other” is only heightened by one of them actually being gay and in love with his best friend. It’s such a fucking… it’s such a movie. Personally I find Mark Strong, Idris Elba, Thandie Newton, and, of course, Tom Hardy to be really hot in it, so that’s a plus. There’s a scene in which Strong’s character teaches another gangster how to do a proper backhand. It’s really gay of him. Also slow-dancing at a gay club. Butler’s character needs to get himself together, you really don’t think 2008 Tom Hardy is hot? Mate.

(left to right: functional queer, disaster queer, distinguished queer)

Queer Rating: 6 out of 10, for having an actual gay character who is played by Tom Hardy doing a sexy phonecall voice to another guy, but then there’s that feeling you can’t shake that the whole movie is vaguely uncomfortable about it, like a family member awkwardly patting you on the shoulder after they found out you were queer second-hand, but they’ve still got 50 years of bias to unlearn. Also Thandie Newton is killed, fuck that noise. 

Legend (2015): If I had a nickle for the amount of times Tom Hardy’s played a gay gangster, I’d have two nickles. Which isn’t a lot, but weird that it happened twice (looks at Peaky Blinders and thinks it ought to be three times). I’ve watched Legend three times and every time it just… loses me. And because this is a biased list, I’ll only specifically mention that it fails to make Ron’s queerness anything but a way for him to shock others. Gangsters could be gay? Gasp! On the upside Tom Hardy has so much sexual tension with everyone in this movie, including himself (why would you do that? Asks Ron, bemused. Because I can’t kill you, no matter how much I fucking want to, hisses a blood-soaked Reggie right into his ear. It’s hot).

Queer rating: 5 out of 10 because the film is just not very queer for a movie with several queer men in it.

3. Straight as a forced family dinner

It’s straight.

Locke (2013): He’s a married man who had an affair and trying to deal with the fallout of it. This isn’t a spoiler for most of the movie, it’s a pretty neat movie where we look at Tom Hardy having a bit of a mental breakdown and taking lots of phonecalls (my personal hell). Is it queer? Not in the slightest.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10 for Hardy’s face being in almost every shot.

The Revenant (2015): Yeah, yeah, DeCaprio’s and Hardy’s characters are obsessed with each other, yeah it’s a man’s world where the only women are dead wife, kidnapped sexually assaulted native princess, or background whore, yeah, they fight each other and there’s a ton of grunting, but also… I just fucking don’t like this movie. The thin line where a storyline like this one becomes queer might be crossed for others, but not for me. Fuck these guys and their stupid  bear fights.

Queer rating: 3 out of 10 for it being about dirty men in the middle of nowhere (but you could just watch Brokeback Mountain or The Lighthouse or God’s Own Country or any Mad Max, or, or, or…)

4. Queer? Queer. Queer? … Queer…

The plots, aesthetics and/or characters played by Tom Hardy lend themselves to a queer reading, even if there is no overt intention towards queerness. Often this is because of a deliberate lack of heterosexual and/or cisgender writing, which in this day and age is still pretty uncommon not to include within a plot.

Inception (2010): Okay, I don’t even need to write about the added “darling,” or the “go to sleep Mr Eames.” I don’t need to go on about the absolutely bonkers amount of fanfiction written for Eames and Arthur, based on a few minutes of film and a boatload of chemistry. It’s queer.

Queer Rating: 7 out of 10, because the actual plot of the film isn’t very queer, but between the Arthur/Eames dynamic and Elliot Page, Nolan was really given a gift he didn’t deserve.

Warrior (2011): Okay, so first off, this might be my favourite Tom Hardy film, at least some part of my brain is fixated on it at almost all times and I’m considering watching it for the third time in two weeks. I don’t only consider it queer based on Mr. Hardy’s character, although he has no romantic or sexual interest and could be read as aroace, but because of the themes, especially those surrounding said character, who is coded as a caregiver to women and through close emotional connections to men. It’s got possibly unintentional deconstructions of masculinity and two men (brothers) who need to forgive each other and can only do so through the catharsis of violence. It speaks to me as a transmasc with several cis brothers, struggling with my own masculinity. It’s not at all written for me, but I find myself all over it. I could talk about this movie forever.

Queer Rating: 8 out of 10. I’m not allowed to say any more or I’ll never stop writing about it. I love you Tommy…

The Drop (2014): Bob’s lack of sexual and/or romantic interest in Naomi is so strange to her that she doesn’t know what he would want from her otherwise. Bob really just wants to raise a dog with her (and also forgiveness for past sins). Bob is such a rare ace and possibly aro coded character, it really throws me every time I watch this film how obvious it is. Bonus points for also being autistic-coded and not in the stereotypical ways.

(Tom Hardy’s most challenging role: pretending he doesn’t know dogs)

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10 because it’s so fucking rare to see ace and aro coded characters that aren’t, you know…. serial killers. Also Tom Hardy adopts a puppy and has a very cute, kinda lispy voice. How often does Tom Hardy play softer men like this?

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015): Very deliberately no sexual or romantic writing included in Max’s and Furiosa’s relationship. Sure, there’s not a lot of time for that in the post-apocalyptic wasteland, but it was also done with a purpose! “It was always going to be two warriors on par, starting off with very little respect for each other and ending up with a massive respect for each other.” - Charlize Theron. “So of course they meet, of course there’s a relationship, an unspoken understanding. A recognition.” - Tom Hardy.

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10. It’s not just the characters, but the world and it’s apocalyptic BDSM leather scene, the questions it asks about sustainability and about people as tools, and the found family. It’s about overcoming violence through multiple kinds of love. And it’s about watching a guy playing flame-thrower guitar. What could be queerer?

Venom (2018): Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same… No, but Eddie is queer. The only question is whether the sequel will acknowledge that aspect or not, but even if not. Even if it manages to straightly bypass the reality of a symbiotic relationship with a genderless? genderfluid? being from another world that is linked to you down to your very cells and understands you more intimately than any other person possibly could… even if all that: Eddie is queer. Venom and Eddie are in a relationship. Any relationship Eddie ever enters into will automatically become a thrupple. He makes out with Venom in the movie! Eddie is queer.

(aw yeah that tongue is going down his throat)

Queer Rating: 9.5 out of 10, because it’s still coded by the creators in the language of bromance (hey, bro, is it gay if we’re physically and emotionally closer than any other people on earth?), but the movie is so, so camp and Mr Hardy’s acting choices are beautiful – the screaming? The lispy soft voice and lack of taking up space? The lobster tank? The only people who don’t know how queer this is are the people making it apparently. Fingers crossed for that sequel!

Hon. mentions:

Star Trek: Nemesis (2002): Star Trek – even at it’s worst (especially at its worst?) – is camp af + Hardy is a straight-up baby in this film.

Bronson (2008): It’s about a real person who’s still alive, so I won’t comment on the actual man. However the film seems to code the character Bronson along an ace line and also has genderqueering Vaudeville. Someone let Tom Hardy do more of whatever was going on in those stage-bits.

(this right here: this the good shit)

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011): Another ensemble piece not massively about Hardy’s character, but it’s a movie that centers around queerness in a strange, depressing way. Tom Hardy’s character isn’t queer. Colin Firth and Mark Strong are though. The book makes me cry.

Peaky Blinders (2013-): Because it’s a TV series I left it out. There’s a lot of straight nonsense going on there, but Alfie Solomens is gay. There’s nothing in the series that disputes that and plenty that lends itself to the reading.

Dunkirk (2017): Tom Hardy plays an RAF pilot in a deep emotional connection with the other main RAF pilot. That’s immediately gay. However he’s not in the movie much because of the way it’s constructed, so I left it off.

Queer Ratings (least to most)

No queer to be found here traveller:

This Means War: 2 out of 10 - illegal movie, Tom Hardy swore he wouldn’t do another rom-com after

Locke: 2 out of 10 - straight Welshman and his straight problems. He pretty though

Lawless: 3 out of 10 - cardigan-Hardy being a mother-hen, but very straight for all that

The Dark Knight Rises: 3 out of 10 - a superhero movie that doesn’t deserve Mr Hardy’s camp talents (unlike Venom)

The Revenant: 3 out of 10 - doesn’t give me what I want out of a movie full of dirty, bearded men

Queer but we deserve more:

Legend: 5 out of 10 - timid homosexuality, considering the source material. 

RocknRolla: 6 out of 10 - hey bro, is it gay if we kill the only female lead in our massive ensemble cast

The queerest of Hardy’s:

Inception: 7 out of 10 - Elliot Page and JGL kissing was an all-around terrible choice that made no sense, we know the truth, Nolan

Warrior: 8 out of 10 - I’m still crying, Edgerton’s crying, Hardy’s crying, we’re all crying, and I think that’s really emotionally healthy and queer of us

Mad Max: Fury Road: 9 out of 10 - non-romantic love in the time of BDSM post-apocalyptic wastelands is something that can actually be so personal

The Drop: 9 out of 10 - “Fucking punk. Go out to dinner dressed like you're still in you living room! You wear those big hippity-hoppity clown shoes! You speak to women terribly! You treat them despicably! You hurt harmless dogs that can't defend themselves! I'm tired of you man. I'm tired of you. You embarrass me!”

Venom: 9.5 out of 10 - Sometimes a relationship is an anxious reporter, the sentient goo inhabiting his body, his kinda-ex-girlfriend and her new doctor boyfriend, and I think that’s beautiful

[blxetsi]

modern eren jaeger dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!eren jaeger x gn!reader

warnings: mentions of p*rnhub

- firstly, this man is CONVINCED it was love at first sight (he ALWAYS tells you this too)

- "babe when i met you i just KNEW you were gonna be mine" "no you didnt" "yes i did- hey dont stop holding me 😣"

- you guys met because you were tutoring him. (he was failing history 😔💔)

- after weeks of shy touches and shared giggles he FINALLY brought his grade up and didnt need you anymore

- that didnt mean he didnt want you tho ;)

- asked you out on a date (and by that i mean to a party smh 🙄)

- and the rest is history 😌✨

- hes the kind of guy that flirts with you even though youre together

- "so uh,, you come here often 😏"

- "eren youre in my apartment 😐"

- he tries to invite you everywhere that he goes with his friends

- like,,, EVERYWHERE

- jean and reiner wanna organize a boys night ? hes pulling out his phone getting ready to text you and saying "oh is it okay if y/n comes ? i didnt get to see them much this week i miss them 🥺" like mf this is for The Boyz 😡😤🥶🥵🔥‼️

- youre weirdly close with sasha, shes just really cool

- eren will call you at the most inconvenient times for the stupidest reasons

- one time he called you while you were doing an INTERVIEW for work and you wanna know what he called you for ? to tell you he bought a bunch of silly string to use on jean.

- bitch im trying to get PAID. rn . trying to make a LIVING. so i dont end up below the POVERTY LINE. tell me about ur silly string after i secure the bag 🙄‼️

- is very touchy. like very touchy.

- but also respects bounderies

- hes NEVER mad when you have something to say about him or your relationship together

- you dont feel comfortable with the pda ?? He Wont do it Again

- you think you two could work on communicating better with each other ?? hes already googling ways to do that

- he cares and cherishes you and the bond you two have created together, hes not gonna try and ruin that

- is a fucking lightweight. dont go with him to parties.

- but if you asked him to hold his drink he will NOT forget about it.

- a couple times he broke the plastic cup he was gripping it so hard 🤩

- is also the type of guy to just protect others ?? like for no reason

- he sees a guy trying to get close to a girl who had made it abundantly clear that she didnt want that ?? hes going over there and playing bf to protect that stranger

- he can thank first year drama class for his superb acting skills 😌✨

- will literally help anyone he sees in a bind

- also his brother is weirdly cool ??

- his parents live far away but his brother only lives like,, 40 minutes away from the university

- hes like an older brother to everyone 🤩

- if you like reading classic literature zeke is your guy to talk to. has so many ideas and opinions on those stories and stuff, and will NOT hesitate to lend you a book of his

- eren has led lights in his room. he ALWAYS has them on the colour red

- he doesnt understand why ppl think hes horny bc of the red lights ?? his eyes just adjust better to the red lights compared to the blue 😔

- he has stretch marks all over his body 🤩 like on his biceps, tummy, back, thighs, etc. etc. doesnt really think about them anymore but he used to be SO self conscious of them in highschool. he saw berty (bertholdt) with his shirt off once during his freshman year and saw how he had stretch marks too, and immediately thought they were cool

- he likes to play with your hair and scratch your scalp, but he likes it when you braid his hair because he thinks it makes him look pretty

- will get you weird things because they remind him of you

- one time he came to pick you up for your date and before you could even KISS HIM hes pushing you away and pulling out a tiny ceramic frog 😐

- "no you dont understand zeke took me to a thrift store today and i found this and it reminded me of you-" "i look like a frog to you ? is that what youre saying ?" "NO ! its just so cute, and youre so cute so i had to get it. do you like it 😊"

- doesnt like most meats, his only exceptions are chicken,

- thats it 😐

- you guys were having a picnic and you made sandwichs (with the sliced turkey meat) and he took one bite out of it, looked you in your face, and spit it back into the baggy without breaking eye contact

- likes just laying in bed with you. has a playlist of songs like arctic monkeys and shit like that, just sitting in the dark with a song on low volume, whispering whatever he wants into your ear is like,, the DEFINITION of love in his book

- also can and will recite lines from shakespeare plays to you ?? will be at the most randomest times. you could be sweeping and he'd just wrap his arms around you before whispering "two households, both alike in dignity. in fair verona where we lay our scene. from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean."

- okay mf this isnt english class 😐‼️ but thank you 😁👍

- will always try and do new tiktok trends and make funny videos so he can "blow up"

- he gets on average like 20 views 🤩

- he likes seeing you and his friends get along, it just makes him so happy that you love mikasa and armin just as much as he does, and hes so thankful that youre all friends

- likes to help you reach whatever you cant, and if youre taller (even by an inch) hes making you grab things for him

- he doesnt have a major yet, and he doesnt really know what he wants to do with his life, but being a hairstylist sounds cool

- whenever youre having a bad day mentally, he'll just give you your space unless you say otherwise

- he doesnt know if its the best idea, but he knows when he gets into a bad headspace he wants to be alone

- if you do say you want him with you, he'll lie right beside you in bed and spoon you, and if you want he'll put on the arctic monkeys playlist and whisper about the project he worked on for his business class

- he doesnt like sharing, BUT will steal your shit all the time 🙄

- "oh hey heres that thing i borrowed from you" "oh my fucking god eren i thought i lost that months ago"

- may not understand everything he learns in class, but he always tries bc this is his education !! his parents saved up a lot of money for him to be able to go to university !! hes gonna try his best to make the most of this

- i feel like he would play baseball at university. he asks that u wear his jersey to every game so "everyone knows that the most beautiful person attending this educational establishment is MINE" like,, k ill wear the jersey 🙄🤚

- has a list of the best websites to use to illegally stream movies, anime etc.

NSFW ! -------

- also hates pornhub. knows about all the controversies and shit about the website and doesnt use it. supports smaller porn companies that respect their workers 😁👍

- his parents love you. Im Serious

- carla asks about you all the time (hey mommy 😏) and his dad wonders about you too even though hes more lowkey about it

- always has to open the door for you or pull out your chair for you. no matter what setting youre in he Has to do it bc hes a gentleman

- bohemian rhapsody is his comfort film

- i think eren thinks that Youre the One for him, and this idea is solidified when you two graduate together 😍

- he takes you back to the library where he first met you, gives you a promise ring and just asks you to move in with him, hes not ready for an engagement and he knows you arent either, but he knows that youre it for him, and he just wants to be with you for as long as youll allow it

GAH this felt all over the place and very mediocre but i hope you enjoyed !!! remember asks are open so feel free to request something 🤩

[fuwushiguro]

hi love— you by no means have to answer this and I apologize if me sending this is crossing any of your boundaries, but I’ve been seeing your posts on my dash and it felt wrong to not say anything. firstly, you are an incredible writer. it’s a simple fact that is sometimes incomprehensible simply because it’s you and we struggle to believe we are talented and capable when the thoughts in our mind constantly tell us otherwise. because of that, it’s important we have people that actively remind us that we are needed and loved to actively combat those thoughts, but sadly tumblr has been rather… neglectful recently and feedback is a rarity these days. however, this is not at all a comment on you, it’s just sort of how things are recently— a bit dead I guess, and painfully so. because of that, I completely understand you feeling the urge to leave because I felt the same and actually did it, but as you can tell I’ve come back, so :’) I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you plan on leaving, nobody can stop you and we would respect your decision because it is purely yours to make, but that is not at all to say you won’t be missed and people don’t appreciate you. personally I left after my old blog suddenly became filled with hate anons and discouragements, and I just simply didn’t feel seen or wanted anymore. it felt good for a while, until I realized I love writing too much to ever truly leave and the interactions with people who enjoy your writings is one of the best feelings that I don’t want to run from. so, when I came back, I started new series and tried to recreate myself, and it felt so surreal because I felt like I started over just to slip into my old place, and sometimes I regret deactivating because the real issue wasn’t me but just… the environment my blog had lead to. I noticed you receiving a lot of unwarranted hate and it was the same for me. it was miserable and I can now safely say the only way to prevent it is to simply block anyone who ever makes you feel uncomfortable and pick your moots carefully to only surround yourself with people who actually want to see you thrive and care about you in general. god sorry this was so long but bottom line is— I think you’re extremely talented and not the issue here. a place you love may feel tarnished and it’s made you want to leave but you are NOT the issue, okay? you have never not been anything but talented, patient, and kind— do not let strangers hiding behind anon bully you into ever thinking otherwise. whether you leave or stay, the impact you’ve left on the writing community remains, I mean… I saw your masterlist for kinktober (a little late I left before then pfft) the other day??? babe??? that was INSANE, I was flabbergasted on how you were able to complete something so well and with such good quality??? like it’s actually inspiring you truly are talented. I also need to reread your series bc (confession time), I used to binge read your writings and be too scared to interact with them because so I am extremely shy with people I admire, but I refuse to do that anymore so expect me rbing your fics with long commentary very soon. gahhh, okay I’m gonna shut up now, again please do not feel required to even read this, and I greatly apologize if it upsets you in any manner. I just wanted to say you are important to the writing community and if you feel out of place— I am here to remind you of that. much love <3

Hiiiii omg sorry it take me so long to reply to this 😭 this is seriously so lovely and kind I'm so overwhelmed. Thank you for sharing your experience with me and trying to make me feel better it's so sweet of you. I'm hoping things will calm down and I will be able to feel better at some point. The support is definitely making me feel better at least so that's cool :o) but yeah thank you for this!! I really appreciate it. And if you ever wanna chat or anything my DM's are open 🥺💕