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#i might also do it tomorrow night idk
dead-core · 7 months
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eating feels like failure i wish i could fast for days
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exopelagic · 1 month
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okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool
#okay so I came to this flat and he wasn’t here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film#I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates#has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so I’m like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be#how this guy is yknow#on Tuesday I get an email back saying he’s coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces#rlly friendly message that I wasn’t expecting. I also didn’t know he’d been on a trip i just knew he wasn’t there bc his door was open#(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and it’s tidy and pretty#and he’s got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I don’t wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I can’t clean it without moving his shit and#I haven’t seen him yet to talk abt it and I can’t bring myself to talk to him immediately bc I’m dying#and embarrassed as hell by how I’ve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen#but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and he’s super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then he’s cooking and like. spaghetti burns but I’m not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today#and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out it’s like#washed up stuff isn’t dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that he’s spread out than he’s messy#and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to he’s flying back home#and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc#and then cleans the whole flat?? which I’m assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. could’ve easily left#bc there are two people still living here who would’ve had to deal with it and he doesn’t know either at all#and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc he’s been gorging himself#these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet#and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar#he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar I’ve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude#now that the kitchens clear I’m gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise he’s gonna be eating out all weekend#he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday#regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection#of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didn’t know#well. idk where to go from here. I think I’ll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt
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orcelito · 2 months
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Gencon is very busy...!!!
Ummmmm highlights of the day..!!!
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I maybe bought 4 Naruto figurines. Thankfully not individually expensive (though perhaps a little expensive all together...) see I wanted Sasuke but I also wanted Kakashi and I couldn't have Sasuke without Naruto and well it would feel wrong to have the 3 of them without Sakura and so I somehow. Got all 4. Haha. I'll most likely post pics later, whenever I end up opening them. I'm still at the convention center rn lol
(Putting the rest of this under a cut bc it got a little long lol)
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I was on the field of the Lucas Oil Stadium, aka the stadium that the Indianapolis Colts play at. I've attended all of One game here (not professional football, it was a high school game lol) so I've felt the size of it, but it's still fucking crazy being on the field. It's so BIG...... and obviously they've got the grass covered rn, but it's still pretty cool!!!
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I maaaade dice!!! Pretty precise process it seems, & definitely would require a Lot of work (after the sanding and the painting etc etc). I do still wanna get into it, but if I wanted to spring for stuff like the vacuum chamber or the pressure pot...
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Yeah, it'd get expensive. Add in the fact that I don't have a good place to do this away from the cats & it really is not feasible to start rn. But!!! Eventually!!!! I think I'd really enjoy it. I just need a dedicated workshop space where I can spread out without worrying about poisoning my cats lol.
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Here's some cool game set stuff I saw in the event hall. This picture is maybe... hm... a fourth of the event hall? And then when you consider that the vender hall (connected to the event hall, though it's closed right now) is maybe 1.5 times as big as the event hall?? Give or take a little...
Aka just imagine booths upon booths upon booths... I'm gonna have to take a pic of it tomorrow. I was there too briefly to think about taking a pic. Honestly I maybe managed to get through like a tenth of the whole vender hall in an hour of wandering. It's fucking huge. And So Many Dice... I bought one set of 14 (I think it was) dice. Aka an extended set. And then I got a random set bag of dice (just a basic 7). And then a d20 with a cat on it. And a dice of LETTERS. Aka I guess a d26 (I totally did not have to double check that there were 26 letters in the alphabet)(I have 702k words written & posted to ao3)(😂😂😂 I'm very tired) but with letters instead of numbers. And it's glow in the dark!!! And I found some hxh buttons, and a mighty nein poster, and uhmmmm. A cute lanyard. And that's all I bought. Which really is such restraint for me. (Omfg I just saw a dragon cosplay)(someone just dressed as a dragon)
OH YEAH I saw a fucking. Persona 5 Ryuji cosplay. Hanging out with the biker lady from Durarara. Featuring the Ryuji holding her scythe hfksbfmd which was such a funny image. I was too shy to ask for a pic but just trust 🙏 i saw this
Anyways yeah the only real big thing I bought is the naruto figurines. I'll show pics later once I got the stuff again (I dropped it all off in the car earlier)
Omfg literally as I've been sitting here (on a bench at the side of a main hallway) someone stopped by and gave me a handmade bracelet !!!
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DND's 50th anniversary!!! So cute!!!!
#speculation nation#not Too much anime stuff. tho i clearly found some stuff. no trigun yet unfortunately 😔#which i already walked thru the artist area (as much as i could)(i was getting a little stressed by how crowded it was)#so idk maybe i missed a booth or smth but it'd definitely be less likely to see elsewhere in the vender's hall#but WHO KNOWS it's a wonderful massive world in there.#im actually sitting outside it rn and staring longingly at the closed doors. tomorrow... i will be able to Actually peruse it more...#and i will quite possibly wear some ear plugs next time bcus i was getting Stressed Out!!! overstimulated!!!!#pulled in a million different directions!!!!! aaaaaaa!!!!#anyways yeah my events are all done for the night. just kinda hanging out now waiting for my sister's game to be done.#gonna collapse into bed as soon as we get back. so i should probably eat some more.#i had an overpriced and underwhelming sandwich. but there is pizza somewhere. maybe i should eat pizza.#i actually... still have the keys lol. from when i dropped the stuff off at the car earlier.#which is weird. I have the ticket to home with me. but i still wait. bc it would be a dick move to leave with them lol#and also. while i Can drive. i do not have my license. so that would be. a bad. idea.#my shoulders Huuuuurt but thankfully i dont have any combat classes tomorrow#hurting shoulders is more just from my bag bc my shoulders fucking suck. but it makes me glad i can rest more tomorrow.#oh yeah i did the sword knife and longsword today. might get bruises from that knife one. it was very focused on parrying#swords. swords. swords. swords. the longsword class made me really want to own a longsword. i dont own one. yet.#i could. i could. i could. sometime. eventually. i want a longsword. i think i technically just own uhmmm um um#a rapier? a machete? a uh. i dont know what that cheap anime convention sword is actually. OH YEA AND CANE SWORD#no longsword though. i really want to own a katana too. someday i'll own both. someday.#real swords are unfortunatelly really expensive. thats why i only have uh. uh. uhhh. oh yeah i do have those 2 swords from mountains trip#i dont really know what those are either. you know i really should know what bladed weapons i own. i dont though.#i own cool swords and knives bc oooh fun pointy things! wheeeeee!!!#i'll study up on it later. lol.#anyways i guess i should go look for more food. i have rambled enough. bye!
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lordsardine · 2 months
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./long ramble
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todayisafridaynight · 10 months
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ignore if you don't give one for my streams Anyways potential stream schedule goin forward Just Until I Finish Judgement
thursday i'll stream judgement from like. 3:30 ~ 7:30
friday'll be 4:30 ~ 8:30
saturdays will be the usual 3:30 ~ . fuckin whenever LMAO art stream i do
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magentagalaxies · 4 months
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going to a comedy open mic tomorrow mostly to watch my friends (it's at a cool venue that my improv troupe performs at once a month and a few improv troupe friends are doing standup there) but when these friends were asking if i'd be interested in coming they were like "btw there's usually a ton of open spots on show days if YOU want to do something... and they're not strict about it only being standup either, people have done character pieces and sketches etc like they embrace the weirdness... and they're not strict about time limits you could probably do anything between three and eight minutes... sometimes if there's not enough people signed up they'll even let you go twice..." and i'm like god damn it i thought i was gonna take a break from aubrey but this setup is like tailor made for an aubrey appearance lmao
#still on the fence about it bc the burnout i experienced at the beginning of may extended to aubrey#especially bc so much of my aubrey stuff is comedy about gender and my brain was more in ''set everything on fire'' mode#and i think i've gotten to a good place with that burnout but i still haven't worked on any aubrey stuff since i got home from college#but even still even tho my mental health is better than it was a few weeks ago#recently i have had this horrible insomnia where i haven't been able to fall asleep at night in over a week#(i've made up for it with naps but still i am not mentally 100% rn. i've tried so many things and nothing has worked.)#so that's my justification for *not* doing aubrey tomorrow. however.#i reeeally need to get more performance experience bc there's only so much you can develop a sketch character without performing them#and this venue is so good. it's an art gallery like an hour away that's designed to be part gallery and part performance venue#especially for comedy. like the venue owner is this veteran comedian who used to work with bobcat goldthwait and a lot of other big names#and it's a low-pressure environment bc everyone there has seen me do comedy before with my improv troupe#but they still haven't seen me do aubrey at all so it's bringing a new side of my comedy to some of my main collaborators#like this is so much better than my previous aubrey performances bc they were all either#1. shows in CLASSROOMS with a bunch of my classmates who generally don't get my comedy (very clique-ish)#or 2. a guest spot on a show at a coffee shop where everyone knew each other except me#plus the biggest thing for me is the lack of a strict time limit. like as much as having a good 3-minute monologue can be#i think aubrey is a character you need to get to know a bit longer than 3 minutes. and a lot of my stuff is long while also being very tigh#like not every monologue is like this but my best aubrey monologues are almost like aubrey is telling you a sitcom storyline#and removing too many lines makes the whole narrative jenga tower fall over#and as much as i want to figure out how to make every monologue a good starting point#having the chance to perform multiple monologues if i get to go twice so that they can build off each other would be perfect#idk i'm not sure how often the open mics are there. at least monthly tho i might be missing next month's depending on when i'm in toronto#so like this wouldn't really be my only chance. but yeah i'm on the fence about whether to bring aubrey back for a performance tomorrow#i probably wouldn't do new material. i'd do the 5 minute version of my uncle reg monologue bc it's the one that's worked best so far#and if i get to do multiple. maybe i'd do the ''nom de plum'' monologue bc i think it's also very strong#and it has a good callback to uncle reg#but idk i also think doing the song would be very fun and on-theme since it's pride month and the song is a satire of rainbow capitalism#tho i'd probably have to rework the monologue that leads into the song bc even tho i loved the concept i don't think i articulated it well#or i could write an entirely different lead-in and make the previous monologue (''C/H/M'') a separate thing to revise later#which would probably go better and somehow be less work to write. but even so i don't know what the venue's sound setup is
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the-kipsabian · 1 year
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aight im looking at my wip list rn (like actual work i have started so far)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#sometimes u have a day thats just so. i cant even. its seems 2023 is my year of rage#directionless rage. i guess im mad at me but instead of being directed inward it just goes out into empty space#im just fucking. im at my saturation point#its a good thing i stopped taking measurements yesterday and went to the store tomorrow bc im so fucking#mostly bc i noticed a problem with the code for a paper that is fucking less than a day away from being locked in on acceptance#and now its like fucking i have to go through and change a lot and im also less than 48hrs away from another massive project starting#that will occupy my whole fucking waking nightmare of a life. so its a good thing im level headed. its a good thing i can accept my fuck#ups with honestly. bc im so fucking. ive had it. im up to fucking here with everything and i just want it to be done#im fucking full of bitterness and black bile and i want to break things. and whose fault is it? fucking mine#bc im too fucking exhausted constantly all the time to fucking pay attention to what im doing and notic that a fucking function isnt#working properly. fuck u fuck u fuck u. so what r we gonna do abt it?#idk well see what my boss says. i already texted her that news and its good bc at least i caught it but god its so fucking irritating#god. will i b told off for this? maybe. i probably deserve it. haha if so that will send me for an absolute tailspin. i cannot stand to#feel ive done something wrong. even when i kno i have. last time i had a total freakout meltdown and made v bad choices and that wasnt even#this bad. so its a good thing im currently fairly stable bc the desire to make bad choices is very strong#im just so sick and tired of everything and i want to let things implode bc im vindictive against myself. but we must not do that we must#be reasonable. so idk we may have to withdraw the paper. whatever i dont give a fuck. itll get accepted elsewhere. i dont fucking care#leave me alone to dissolve into the dirt and set my data ablaze to be helpful to no one. erase my Prospective impack. i don't fucking care#anyway today sucked. i might have to stay up all night trying to fix this. ensuring that i fuck up the start of the looming project yayyyyy#i hate it here. i stopped having fun over a year ago#itll b fine. im just fucking. im full im impotent rage#unrelated
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damnprecious · 2 years
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me: is a reliable worker me: has like a decade of experience of different tasks at the workplace me: usually knows how to help less experienced coworkers with things they aren't familiar with or knows who to ask if I don't know me: generally knows what the shit I'm doing at work boss people: hey you're gonna be in charge of your little team of two in this one event me: oh my god no I'm not qualified for this
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foxgloveinspace · 11 months
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I’ve been tired since three pm, I legit fell completely asleep on the way home from shopping, I’ve been so tired I’m cold and shaky since like four pm. Going to be only about 40 min before my normal bed time is a miracle at this point.
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clown-demon · 1 year
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"This clown has to go to bed~!"
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orcelito · 2 years
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my fatal flaw . one of them. is that. i have a tendency. to trust my brain too much. but have too low of a work ethic. so im like “if i do well on the exams, then homework won’t be as important to complete”. and sometimes, this turns out okay because i do well on the exams. but if i do Not do well on the exams. it fucks me over so much
me sitting on an 84% for the first exam being like “This will surely let me pass the class” and looking at my homework assignment that draws from a prior homework assignment so Essentially i would have to do twice the work. due tomorrow night
and im just thinking to myself. “is it even worth it?”
#speculation nation#see the idea of getting back on track for the semester is to start doing assignments again#but my brain still does not want it#and im just looking at this shit like 'i have to be up at 8 am for pt tomorrow morning and then work like 6.5 hours'#it would mean no more free time tonight and no more free time tomorrow night#and so im like. 36 points. is that worth it?#ive been keeping up with reading quizzes and i did well with the exam. so if homework and projects suffer it's not the worst#my schooling career is basically the constant question of 'if you dont do your homework can you pass the class?'#if ur smart then oftentimes yes!#im good at taking exams. i also HATE putting my free time into shit#i do hate the idea of just a few hours of time deciding a large portion of the grades. sometimes the largest portions of the grades.#it's this kind of thing that got me a C in my calc class despite doing most of the homework. doing well on all the quizzes.#and getting a 100% on the first exam. which was fucking AMAZING btw im still so proud of that#but i did Balls on the 2nd exam and final so i got a C. i was sooo angry#did pass tho. i sure did fucking pass.#but yea idk my brain is just constantly a hell hole and my body isnt much better. and im constantly overworked#maybe if i wasnt working full time homework would be easier to finish lol#but yea when faced with the next 2 days being very little free time im just like. '36 points is Not worth it'#the slacker me continues. now i may attempt to write some of my gay fanfiction which owns MUCH more of my heart and dedication#my priorities might not be exactly right.  but it's what makes me happy so whateverr
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I'm dying in here.
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Browsing my tumblr blog instead of studying all night. Truly I haven't changed a bit in all my years.
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literaila · 23 days
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Wait, has reader and Gojo ever said I love you? Cause I swear Gojo be constantly asking her "Do you love me yet :D?" When they weren't even dating yet
oh yeah they’re saying shit all of the time, but if you recall (or don’t idk) it did indeed take them nine years to get together.
which is actually so ridiculous now that i’m thinking about it??? guys be so honest with me rn
still, gojo knows you love him. and he’s sure to use that to his full advantage.
“are you sure you have to leave?” he’s asking you, a year in, his smile different than when you were still in school—and yet so the same.
he hasn’t changed since your second year, but everything else has.
maybe that’s why you’re so attached to him, actually.
“are you sure you don’t want to stay?” he asks again, so sweetly, tugging on your hand from where he’s leaning across the couch.
“am i sure that i want to go to bed and escape you? yes.”
satoru doesn’t even flinch. “but are you sure?”
you roll your eyes and shake his hand from yours. you’ll be back tomorrow. he can deal with ten hours apart from you (and maybe you can too).
but as soon as you walk towards the door, he’s following.
“stay,” he says, already whining. “don’t you love me?”
“what a question, satoru.”
“but we’re perfect for each other,” he tells you, picking up your hand again. his voice is honey-thick, flirty. “you think i’m cute and i think that you’re right about that.”
“you should leave me a yelp review or something,” you tell him, pushing at his chest. “with all your high praise.”
“sure. all you have to do is tend to me and spend the night,” he grins. “simple. i’ve even got silk pajamas you can wear.”
you blink. “what a tempting offer.”
but you’re grabbing your bag, then your shoes, attached to satoru at one end and busy on the other.
“c’mon. you’ll miss me.”
“it sounds more like you’ll miss me, and you hate being alone.”
“because i do hate being alone. and i hate being apart from my one true love—“
you do end up leaving that night—but it might be a couple of hours later.
and when you don’t let gojo pick up another assortment of sweets at the store he’s hanging his head on your shoulder, pouting. “i thought you loved me,” he says, so sadly it almost makes you give in.
almost.
“hmm…” you’re walking down the isles, being sure not to pay any attention to him (he’s being punished for not holding your hand earlier). “i’ll think about it and get back to you.”
“what? we have matching bracelets though.”
you pause, eyebrow raised. “no we don’t?”
“well, we will when i buy them.”
“if you’re buying some for us you’re also going to have to get some for tsumiki. you know how she feels about being left out—“
“yeah yeah,” satoru is still on your shoulder, his throat vibrating just enough for you to feel it down your back. and then his eyes drift over and he’s gone. “look at this! i need it.”
(he doesn’t).
it’s not that he can’t say the words, or that you can’t, even.
it’s more that sincerity is toxic to the both of you, that being honest is a drug you’ve gotten used to. the dosage is too small, the affects are temporary.
and you’re busy. you use up your admiration for tsumiki and megumi—assuring them constantly that you love them, that they’re wonderful just as they are.
being a parent changes that perspective; it makes love something so different. loving them is as easy as giving up—giving in to that simple want to be there for them.
actually being in love is different.
and you knew that when you were sixteen, really. you’ve known that for years. but being in love with gojo satoru changes once you have the responsibility of the children.
there’s less time to do it, more time to dwell on it.
you’ve always been so scared of him. not like everyone else—not because he could hurt you in and instant, because he’s holds more power than you could possibly imagine.
but because you don’t want him to. you want him to be that boy that surprised you when you first met, the one who leans on your shoulder and grins until you’re defenseless.
love doesn’t always work the way you want it to, you suppose.
as soon as the two of you say the words—as soon as satoru finally lets his unbreakable guard down—it seems… ridiculous. juvenile.
of course you love him, and of course he loves you.
you never needed words to know that.
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frostblightsunbite · 1 month
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Another Cass drawing, for the soul.
Had a concept I wanted to sketch out, I'll probably redo this some point in the future.
Rant under cut :)
This isn't the best, but I don't completely hate it so its fine. This was a sketch, as you can probably tell from the shitty line work, but then I experimented with colouring and kinda liked it, so its weirdly disjointed. Also I resized the image so literally none of the line weight is consistent so...
Anyway, cape turning to night sky. neat concept. probably done a lot before, but I can't think of any examples rn.
I messed with the pose a lot. I think there might have been a reference originally, but it now Does Not look anything like it.
I hate the clouds. and the sky part. I hate drawing/painting those in general, so I should probably do a study or something, but I really don't want to
Oh and fun fact, This blog was supposed to be under a different name, but when I tried to make it, it was already taken. as it turns out, literally exactly 11 months before I had made that account using a different email. I'm so dumb.
I'm trying to make this somewhat coherent, but it's like half 3 in the morning, and I need to wake up at 7. I'm so tired idk why I didn't just finish this tomorrow when I would be happier with it.
as a side note, I think every time I draw Cass her eyes get bigger. which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I fear the day when her eyes will envelop her whole. also it kinda functions like a spiderman mask, so thats fun for expressions.
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