#i might be forgetting some stuff because i am not strong enough to rewatch this season of television

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

ted/rebecca season three things that i will simply never recover from -- dare i say, never forgive:

sassy saying ted's puns are terrible and that he's a mess and then later in the same episode rebecca saying she and ted get along because they're both messes and smiling at his terrible pun

ted wanting to hang out with rebecca in amsterdam and then her phone falling into the water and her meeting another man in what was clearly a classic romcom narrative move designed to make us go "nooooo, now rebecca will never know that ted wants to hang out with her in amsterdam!" (wherein boat guy is poised as the temporary obstacle love interest and ted is the endgame love)

rebecca looking at the green soldier from ted and the matchbook together (sidenote: did i hallucinate this or did this actually happen? maybe i hallucinated this. was this fake?)

the biscuit box open behind the matchbook!!!

ted having the green matchbook

"remember to let her into your heart" playing in "hey jude" when rebecca called ted

both of them wearing red in the red string of fate episode

the hallway conversation wherein they both said what the other was thinking and then were both like ?????

rebecca saying "oklahoma." TWICE!

[exoticalmonde]

Arknights - Zwillingstürme im Herbst Event (Day 1)

HEY, Zwillingstürme im Herbst is here and I CANNOT pronounce a single of the German words they are using, I think I might just end myself here. For some reason, the update was loading extremely slowly, but it was long enough to get us through those pesky 10 minutes we had to wait until the server was open.

On the flip side, we have a bunch of cool new things to look at and a reason to rewatch the trailers and cinematics + review the music that comes with the event.

Warning: The following content goes over obvious stuff about the event and the characters that I plan on working on + my personal ideas for who is useful in what way.

At the END of the post is a guide for the music tunes you need for the interrogation event. As far as I have gotten at least.

Since it's Arknights' sixth celebration event we expect a LOT of content, a long story, probably a daily check-in for missions inside the event itself and much more. The banner for Viviana and Virtuosa Arturia (being the Limited operator) lasts a whole three weeks, with every day carrying a single free pull.

Oh the joys of saving for Zuo Le and Logos knowing that I really do want Viviana is a bittersweet sensation. I'm going to get Lessing today at least, so we can be content the husband team stays strong.

Not to forget the free 10-pull we get along, which got me a single Baseline.

---

When it comes to the videos and PVs we got, they're actually an insane amount in comparison to other events. Of course, the anniversary has something to do with that, but it's also because the characters we are getting and the story that is meant to unfold is very important to the Arknights world.

This is the official trailer that introduces us to:

all the new characters,

flashing us with the gorgeous medal set,

the skins that are coming out WITH the anniversary event,

the new characters in the red ticket shop

operator archives for: Czerny, Rosa, Diamante, Santalla, Shalem

modules for Mudrock, Penance and Vulcan

+ Lessing, Baseline, Nearl Alter, Bagpipe,

new furniture sets

Naturally, there is no event without the PV. This is from the POV of Viviana.

The event teaser is subsequently the introduction video as you enter the event.

I watched this just now for the first time and it's equally horrifying to see the Aegir, charming to see her get along with kids, saddening since I know this is her at her mother's funeral and also it makes me absolutely insane to think that I feel anything but resentment for her and everything she's done to Ebenholz and Kreide.

I know she is going to make a huge mess in Leithanien again, I know it.

I feel a little smitten for the reason we are getting an ENTIRE introduction to the University. I can't even imagine how it's going to come to play inside the story itself. But I am glad that there's more embracing of the regional tongues now.

Fondly, I was reminded the other day how I started playing when there was only the Chinese and the Japanese (and Korean?) voiceover. Now there is German, Italian, Russian along with the English.

How... Unfortunate, we might never be able to hear French.

As far as I'm familiar, I think Ripples is meant to be the music for both the Candleknight and Arturia.

UPDATE: OF COURSE ARTURIA WOULD HAVE HER MUSIC VIDEO COME OUT TODAY WHEN I MADE THE POST ABOUT IT YESTERDAY BUT WHAT ELSE DO I EXPECT, HERE YOU GO

---

There is this video that isn't on YT but it's on the Arknights Twitter page, so I'm going to link it anyways for anybody who wants to see enamel pin-like designs of Bassline, Arturia and the others. It's basically character showcase but in some different form.

---

I love the character intros but more than anything I enjoy reading Travel Guides because this means these places are going to be super important to the lore itself and I am EXCITED!!!

---

Most of the enemies are very easy to deal with as long as you know the base mechanic and don't get too taken away by the music. The ones with a purple sphere on their heads need EXCITED music to neutralize their special skill and those with a yellow star need MELANCHOLIC music to calm down.

Long story short, the Tuning Nodes need to be all active at the same time and the place where you see that jellyfish shield is the place you need to avoid placing operators because they just won't do anything for the Node itself.

Attack Speed gained from the Exciting music is stackable for your operators. I don't know to what point, but Dr. Pinkie was having a blast learning this last night.

---

Speaking of the characters and Baseline specifically, he's a Lupo from Leithanien, appointed in the year 1100 (the year the story is set in as well) as a sort of mediator between RI and the Leithanien Imperial court. He's uninfected and his role is Defender, specifically Guardian aka Medic Defender. Real name Michael Wolfgang, tiniest Schatz because he's only 160cm tall and pretty much the same size as Greyy-alter me thinks. Birthday is on the 16th of July.

From what I imagine, I can use him instead of Nearl/Gummy or Spot since his Skill 1 heals operators only if they are under 50% and his Skill 2 stops attacking and concentrates on healing + gives the ally a shield.

I haven't done the speed/strength comparisons to Nearl but VS Gummy, his skill 1 charge is 6 seconds and the difference is only 20% additional healing at M3 for a cost of an additional 1DP at all E stages.

To me, that's good enough to exchange honestly if you're looking for more tankiness due to his Talent.

If we overlook the cost of maxing out a 5-star in comparison to a 4-star.

AND NOT TO MENTION HIS TOKEN IS--- I mean, if you insist I have it, sure, but I feel like the mouthpiece of any instrument is important to the player in their own way... right?

---

Lessing is the free 6-star operator you get in the event by competing the missions in Herzenfolgen. It's unlockable after you finish stage ZT-2 and it comes with 3 (technically 4) characters you can get event materials from including Lessing's Potential.

He's a Guard, specifically a Dreadnought (or as it's also popular - a Duelist Guard) whom I immediately am looking at as FINALLY there is something I can use instead of Melantha when I get asked for someone of that type. You'd think that out of all the guards I do have already there's going to be someone who does as much damage as Melantha and equal in health, but no.

Since Mel is a 3-star character and only reaches level 55 E1, I'm going to compare them like this: Lessing does more damage, has more health and defence than Melantha. His Redeployment time is 10 seconds more than her though.

Skill-wise Lessing's Skill 1 is an Offensive Recovery (charges itself when hitting enemies) like Hoederer's that does additional damage on the charged strike sans health regen.

Skill 2 is like a buff on his first talent: Pain Focus (this is at E1) - When blocking, take 20% less Physical and Arts damage from enemies not blocked by this unit. So that means that at lvl 7 of his skill you apply the maths that I am NOT going to math myself. At least not while Dr. Pinkie is sleeping to check them for me. When deployed, 1st Talent effect increased to 2x, ATK +35%, and attacks become 2-hit combos. His Skill 3 is what people get him for: Become immune to Negative Statuses, HP +80%, and attacks deal 180% ATK as Physical damage when attacking a blocked target Skill can be used when Operator is affected by a Negative Status, removing the status, but dealing 600 Arts damage to self.

So far as I can read while my Lessing is cooking in the training room - yes, you might be able to kill him if you use his skill and he's under 600HP.

My little Hoederer, big sword - big damage wielder. The only saving grace for Melnatha is that she's 13 DP at max potential while Lessing is 21. That's a lot to consider.

And of course, he is a cutie patootie in his letter, I'm crying.

---

Here is the guide offered by the Twitter page for the Herzenfolgen because otherwise, I could not grasp a single word of the explanations inside the event itself.

To explain it in simple terms:

Every day you get 3 people who will tell you a story and according to the information they give you, usually the important part is in red, you have to figure out what sort of emotion they have felt and then you have to align them to the 'desire' they have.

Making a mistake 2-3 times gives you the emotion and the 'desire' so it's not impossible to figure out, but it's a lot of experimenting as well until you get both right. And the notes you get are exhaustable, so you need to farm for them to know.

Dr. Pinkie also told me yesterday that the cards you DO manage to use also disappear.

Whenever you complete the day you get an Authorization Warrant to unlock the case-related characters and then you get a pot for Lessing every time you finish those.

You get 2 a day actually I think. Since I already managed to squeeze 4.

Here's all the emotions since some of the guides I found kind of misnamed the emotions and I had to spend a long while staring to get it to actually work.

TO GET THE FINAL ONE: DIE REISE (Tomorrow's Opus) you just have to complete all of the main interrogation nodes.

With that, I wish you good luck, enjoy the music of Zwillingstürme and I hope that you enjoy the music as much as I do. My favourite theme so far is 'Under the Spires' and 'Anger's Opus'.

WHICH, I almost forgot, YOU CAN FIND ON SPOTIFY AS WELL, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!

[parachutingkitten]

Y'all suck at dissecting Kai's character, so I guess I have to do it.

And I'm not even a Kai stan. He's a bottom tier ninja for me, which I guess means you can trust me, cuz I'm not biased, but also why am I the one doing this? I don't know about y'all, but recently on my dash, the method by which Kai fans try to make him sound good is... saying the writers hate him, ignore him, and that he isn't written well? Which... I mean there is a little bit of truth to, but like yikes guys, is this the best you got? Kai is a wonderful character with plenty of attention from the writers, a meaningful piece of the cast when put in secondary rolls, fairly consistent character writing with actual progression and valuable qualities that help the team without having to be the smart one- despite what some posts might tell you.

Let's get one thing cleared up: Ninjago isn't the best written show. By high level Hollywood standards, most the character arcs are kinda weak or too heavy handed, character consistency can be iffy, and most things serve the plot rather than the characters. There is no character you can point to and say "wow, this character is written so well! No complaints!" Nya and Jay were butchered by their weird love plot, Cole's one season doesn't actually give him an arc, Zane's been nothing but the robot numbers guy for like 10 seasons now, and Lloyd seems to be incapable of doing anything but relive the same one piece of dad angst for depth. Sorry, it's true. All the characters suck when you look at it from a large scale writing perspective. So when I say Kai is well written, I mean by ninjago kids show standards- cuz that's the scale we're working on. No, you couldn't drop Kai into a well written drama, but as far as ninjago goes... he's got a lot going for him, and by no means is he the biggest victim of poor writing.

(fair warning, wall of text below)

The title is a bit disingenuous. There are plenty of good Kai character break downs. What I am presenting here is a more positive perspective. On the whole, I will tend to give the writers the benefit of the doubt, and credit for what they do right writing is hard guys. That's what I'm doing here. I don't see much sense in getting mad the writers on behalf of Kai, or any other character. Ninjago is a simplistic ensemble show that works because of the identifiable simplicity of its main characters with some deeper layers hidden underneath if you keep watching. They've given us a damn good show with some damn enjoyable characters, so here are some criticisms I feel are a little flawed:

First, let's get the 'focus' thing out of the way. Apparently there are people saying Kai doesn't have a season yet? Which... what? I mean, I get that the pilots aren't a full season, the first two seasons, though he is the central protagonist, aren't "Kai seasons" as we've come to define ninja focus seasons, season 7, though he gets majority focus, he shares with his sister. But like... did y'all just forget about season 4? You know, the season where he had the title card, was on the box sets, got the love interest, and the majority of the A-plot? not to mention it's the best season don't @ me Like... if season 4 isn't a Kai season, I can make a damn good argument that season 3 isn't a Zane season, and I doubt anyone wants to go down that rabbit hole. I really can't wrap my head around this one. And I get that the fandom hates season 11 for some reason, but like you can't just pretend it doesn't exist. Kai has a consistent arc across 30 episodes in which he takes his powers for granted, loses them, and learns that, not only does he have value within the team without them, but that his element is intrinsically a part of him that he reclaims, bringing them back more powerful than ever, and with new respect for them. That's one of the most solid arcs in the whole series- the location is even thematically connected to his element. That's some good stuff right there! (Quick plug for season 11 if you haven't watched it in a while. Give it a rewatch, you might be pleasantly surprised)

Not to mention the writers give him fun side stuff all the time. Lots of fears of tech and water to overcome, a deep protective streak with Lloyd, becoming a chancellor, having a true potential actually relevant to the plot as a whole, blacksmith responsibilities, befriending dragons, hanging out with his dad. Not to mention actual focus stuff we haven't talked about yet, like his whole "my dad is evil" phase, and his "I might be evil" phase with him and Skylor. And on top of that, even when he doesn't have an explicit side plot, he's always just a fun and dynamic side character to make jokes or give exposition.

Now, into character stuff. Let's start with Kai's hot headed-ness. Some people say he's been loosing this quality, and I will admit, that's true! But those that claim this makes him inconsistent... I strongly disagree. In early seasons, Kai's temper would lead him to snap at his friends or make stupid decisions that set the team back (see episode 2 Zane freak out)- these are bad things. These are character flaws, yes? Now, in newer seasons, people say that he's inconsistent, cuz sometimes he'll be hot headed, and sometimes he won't. I'd say, this is exactly how being hot headed... works? It flares up without warning, and as an individual gets control of it, it'll pop up less and less often because they're channeling it into productive things - like say directing the anger towards an enemy (see season 11 end freak out). Kai has gained control of a character flaw, and though it still pops up on occasion, the fact that it's a once in a while kind of thing speaks to his growth. I have a little brother who has this exact personality, and watching him grow up, I can tell you, this is how it is. He used to snap all the time, and he still does sometimes, but much less frequently, because he's a more mature person with better control of his emotions. This is a good thing. This is overcoming personal flaws. This is progression we're seeing.

And while you're hyper focused on this one aspect of him, things like his cocky confidence haven't changed a bit. I mean, that season 3 bit between him and Pixal, and his season 11 "fire maker" streak have the exact same energy. You can not convince me otherwise.

Another adjacent quality that hasn't been dampened is Kai's impulsiveness. This can be a good quality of his, he'll get into a fight without thinking, getting the jump on the enemy. Good stuff. But, this has become such a well defined trait of Kai's that it has been used in a comedic capacity. This is what happens when a character is extremely consistent to the extent that both the audience and the characters in universe would be able to predict their actions. Kai's impulsivity used to be a more serious quality that put himself and others at risk, and was a big power move whenever he did something rash, but it's become such a staple of the show that it's now being used for comedy. That isn't Kai's impulsivity going away, that's Kai's impulsivity being recontextualized for the sake of the show. The season 9 "Who's stupid enough to jump on that thing" isn't a joke at the expense of Kai just for being dumb, it's a joke at Kai's being so predictably impulsive that everyone already knows he'll be the one to put himself in an insane amount of danger without thinking twice (you know, something stupid that might get him killed). But because in this instance, the danger is warranted, this is bravery. It's a complement to his character- it's what ends up defeating the colossus. Why are some people so bothered by this joke?

Oh right, cuz for some reason people want to peg Kai as the smart one? Look, Kai isn't stupid, none of the ninja are. All of them have smart moments (all of them have dumb ones too) and Kai can certainly handle himself, but "smart" is definitely not one of his defining characteristics- I think some people are confusing smart for his actual strength. Connected to his impulsivity, Kai has very good simplistic instincts. He sees the big picture and looks at the most surface level solution- which when the situation calls for it, that does indeed make him smart. But the same logic that led him to think "This snake has a glowing target on its head, lets hit it" also led him to think "I'm in a video game, therefore I am immortal." Are you really going to look at me and say he figured out Lloyd was the green ninja through logical deduction and a careful consideration of the facts? No. He had a gut feeling, and he trusted it. Instincts- instincts paired with his impulsive following of said instincts is what leads him to solve problems- and sometimes, that can be extremely effective. This goes for other ninja too. Jay isn't the smartest ninja- I would really only classify Zane and Nya as having intelligence define them (hence their ship name). But Jay is extremely creative and crafty. He also knows his was around mechanics, and as such, this will lead him to come up with creative tech based solutions which are smart. But, idk about you, if I had to point to another ninja as being 'dumb' it would 100% be Jay. Kai is a lot of things. He's passionate and determined and confident and persistent. He's a good improvisor, he's powerful and he's charming! These are all wonderful qualities, he doesn't also have to be the smart one. I am the worlds biggest Pixal stan, and she's a smart, sassy, powerful character, but I'm not gonna sit here and tell you she's also hilarious and adaptable and strong willed. She's a straight man to all the ninja's antics, extremely tied to her samurai x suit, and lets people push her around all the time. That doesn't mean she can't be funny, or self interested, but when she does act these ways, it stems from her other more prominent qualities. That make sense?

And while we're clearing up what Kai isn't, please stop characterizing Kai as an overly protective brother - especially romantically. The only two times he's been romantically protective to Nya are in Wu's Teas which I mean, come on and in the pilots when Jay is literally a stranger. For crying out loud, by the end of the pilot, he's smiling when Jay and Nya hug. That's not overly protective, that's just normal, any reasonable person would react this way, protective. And it's such a great stereotype break for a kids show like ninjago, having an older brother who actually trusts his younger sister to be her own independent person who can make her own decisions. I mean, I guess it's fine if you HC differently but like... idk, I don't buy it.

Now, is there still room to criticize the writers? Yes. Hell yes. But not to an extent greater than any other character. Could he have had more of a defined reaction to events of the most recent season that I won't name for the sake of spoilers? Yes. But could Zane have reacted for more than .5 seconds at being an evil war lord for apparently 60 years? Yeah. Has Kai taken a back seat in the past 4 seasons? Yeah. But so has Lloyd- and he's literally the main character of the show. Not to mention two of those seasons have gone to people who had to wait over ten seasons to get one to themselves, and one of them is a 40 minute special. Kai's doing just fine.

Anyway. Kai is great. He's a fun, stereotype breaking, impulsively driven, ball of energy and confidence who gets a good amount of screen time and some fun side plots.

One last thing to clear up: no hate to anyone. This isn't targeted at anyone specific, this post has been a long time coming, I've just seen some weird overblown claims on various platforms over the past few months and I finally sat down to write about it.

I like the Kai content we have. After all, if the writers were really that bad at writing him, then no one would like him.

Wow this was so much longer than I thought it would be. Um... if you have other long winded rants you'd like to see from me... let me know I guess?

[tundrainafrica]

Hi Sav,

I want to ask your opinion about aot in general. We know that Aot is a good show and has great stories.

But, do you have any critiques on aot? I'd love to know...

Thank you in advance 😄

Thank you for the ask! I actually am a serial complainer so I LOVE LOVE LOVE answering things like this because I have complaints about a lot of things lmao.

At the same time though, I’m answering this as a Levihan fan.

Occasionally, I would see AOT material and feel this strange disconnect because I think I’ve read and written too much fanfiction that when I actually see AOT material, I’m like ‘wait oh right, Levi and Hange came from there....”

To answer your question though, here are my general complaints about ATOT as a whole.

The general reason why I kinda feel strongly about the story telling being REALLY weak towards the end is because AOT started strong. Like, I’m sure most people can agree that in the anime at least, or maybe in most parts of the manga as well. every panel, every scene HAD purpose, which adds to the overall quality of the writing and the pacing.

The plot twist and the change in genre was also built really well. Yams left enough to speculate and he also created this story where every scene had a purpose in building the overall plot, the plot twists were done incredibly well. He cleverly planted all the hints, most readers wouldn’t have been able to pick up which was created some really great rewatch value for the previous seasons.

Character death wise, he was also incredibly trigger happy but all of the deaths seemed to have had a purpose anyway so I wasn’t too salty about all the characters dying. And most important characters who died anyway, died for one reason, to introduce a villain or to signal an end of an age, or there was a huge build up/foreshadowing leading towards the death which made it stomachable.

Towards the end though, Yams wasn’t writing to actually build some plot twist anymore. He actually had to pull at the threads of every single plot point he planted and write some semblance ending.

No ending can satisfy everyone but for me, a quality ending is supposed to tie all the loose ends in some tight logic manner which Yams low key KINDA failed to do. This explains why when the purpose of writing ‘changed’ from setting up AOT for a major plot twist and a genre shift to actually tying all the loose ends, the quality of writing kinda diminished.

With the amount of questions left unanswered, I can’t help but think Yams was in a hurry to just end the damn thing. (But really, I’m not too blah about it, because the story telling and world building was great overall, it’s just the ending which left a lot to be desired. At least, it’s not ‘Game of Thrones’ BAD lmao)

Tight Story Telling

Story telling is supposed to have a purpose. Every scene, every death, every scene leading to the finale is supposed to have a damn purpsoe and literally, it’s been months and I still think about Hange’s death as one of the most pointless plot developments in AOT.

HANGE DIDN’T. THEY LITERALLY JUST DIED. And every day, I literally try to fathom why the hell, Yams had to kill her, and I have speculations about it. The strongest one being the fact that Yams didn’t know what to do with Hange towards the end of the show and he needed to kill someone to prove the gravity of the situation I guess. And I guess Hange was the best option since she was old or something or she was just so difficult to write that Yams decided to kill them?

And I dunno it just seems like an asspull.

And Hange’s death wasn’t built up at all. Like there were no signs, there was nothing, no character arc which could have made it stomachable so Hange’s death just seems like lazy writing to me tbh and I kinda take it slightly personally because most casual readers I know tend to gloss over Hange’s death?? Which kinda diminished Hange’s character as a whole

And I thought about who could have died other than Hange and I realized, no one was built up to die in that scene? Or there wouldn’t have been anyone in that scene who I would have been okay with dying? Which kinda points to the fact that maybe Yams just didn't prepare properly for that death scene?

Which brings me to my next point.

Consistency of Characters

If a character is prepared for greatness, it doesn’t make any damn sense to put them through shit and kill them in some anti climactic way (Like Circe in GOT style)

And at the same time, most people might not agree with me here but I guess it kinda doesn’t make sense for me to see Eren redeemed at the end for the sake of love? Or him having to do everything for the sake of JUST the love with Mikasa?

It makes sense, I have to admit, there were plot points which hinted to the really strong bond between Mikasa and Eren but destroying the whole world FOR Mikasa? All I’m getting from this is Eren is just some crazy psycho who is overly obsessed with a girl that he tries to destroy the world and his sacrifice was in vain anyway because the world was kinda messed up too.

I personally think it would have been way more stomachable if Yams just highlighted everyone as a whole instead? Like it seems much more believable for me to think that Eren reached points of irredeemable or maybe if Yams just highlighted the fact that Eren did it for EVERYONE, not just for Mikasa. Because I think with the way that Yams wrote it (putting emphasis on Eren’s relationship with Mikasa), most casual readers would gloss over the fact that Eren had no choice. If he didn’t do the rumbling, Paradis would have been overrun.

Mikasa being there and her relationship with Eren WAS built up from the start so it has some place in the ending. But to put it at the centerpiece instead of Eren’s relationship with the whole Paradis which would have kinda made Eren’s decision to just ‘genocide’ everyone make more sense.

Some parts of the ending kinda remind me of weathering with you and I have a lot of beef with that movie.

Which brings me to my next point:

Values Dissonance (????)

Whenever I read or finish something, the final question I ask myself is ‘so what? what is this piece of media trying to tell me?”

For AOT, I think the most glaring message is ‘the cycle of hatred always continues,’ but I don't think that the message was properly built up? Yams went through the love, the relationships and he highlighted them too brightly for me to even properly stomach the 'cycle of hatred' message as the main one.

It seemed like, towards the end he was jumping from one message to the other in a low key sloppy way and there was no consistent message in all of them.

What was Eren’s purpose? What was the purpose of his sacrifice? What was the purpose of the sacrifice everyone was making?

If Isayama’s whole intention was to tell us that the sacrifice was meaningless and the cycle of hatred continues, I feel like there were better ways to build this up than to dangle ‘love’ in front of us and as the centerpiece of the genocide and the finale before the extra pages in some way where it wasn’t even properly built up in the first place.

That 180 from 'okay Eren did all these stuff out of love’ which is kinda overly mushy and kinda crazy already mushy way and suddenly create this message like the ‘world is doomed, seems like a sloppily placed 'plot twist' to me. Like the type of plot twists authors just put to surprise the reader but it doens't seem well thought out in the first place.

Why highlight something as hopeful as love and make Eren start the war over it when you’re just going to create some major dissonance with a plot twist. Like with the values Yams was highllighting towards the end, I feel like it was a roller coaster with a lot of abrupt twists and turns and there was no time to really reflect on the overall message because he was highlighting too many opposing points at once with no clear thread connecting all of them

I don’t know if I make any sense here haha but yeah, those are my general complaints with AOT as a whole. Don’t get me wrong, I love AOT as a whole but I guess like all shows it has its flaws especially towards the ending.

And hey Yams, still made Levi and Hange and I think anyone who built a world complex enough to inspire others to write fanfiction and draw fanart is a good author either way.

Disclaimer: These are just my thoughts on what I remember from reading but I have been trying to forget a lot of the plot points so I can enjoy it again when the anime comes out. My thoughts might change depending on what I think after rewatching.

[olwolo]

Maybe you're right, maybe I'm just looking for excuse to punch c!wilbur, guess no one will ever know. Jokes aside, yeah I feel like cc!wilbur was for sure poking fun at that but also speaking as c!wilbur bc the bastard energy (affectionate) is just extra strong on that first live, he was having too much fun with it. And still I miss wilbur lore so much and has been what? two weeks? The struggle is real. But SAME!! Dsmp is such a open to interpretation storytelling for each character but they give so much material to just like... make everything coherent and tie up together. I've been rewatching few streams as well, mainly niki's and philza just to catch more details and stuff since I wasn't here since the very beginning (despite already watching most of those streams lol) it's just so nice. I'll forever think about the 1 sec of sunrise duo interaction during doomsday :( and how that day was like reeeally important for the syndicate in general. I feel like everything started to tie up together right there, which is one of the reasons why I feel techno wasn't 100% sure to invite ranboo at first like he was with niki. He didn't saw what ranboo did, but he did saw niki burn the l'mantree! Just, really nice tied together! That's one of the reasons I still love that it's scripted now. I feel like ppl really talk a lot about how much more genuine was before, but the way everything fits now is just really pleasing. I'm no animator so I can't talk that well about the voice acting and stuff, but I really like how everything is going man. Such sucker for all the storylines honestly lmao

Olwolo writing mumza lore confirmed ?? Lmao I love how you choose flowers as well!! We've been knew that's ur thing since ur new c!wilbur designs but I absolutely love ur approach for the death! I have so many feelings and headcanons about the end of each character (on the dsmp in general) and mumza being the goodness of death makes me feel 10x better about all that, absolutely love whipped philza for including that! I can only wonder if c!wilbur ever got to met her while he was dead, maybe not since tommy mentioned he was in the in between. This is probably too deep for the lore but man do I love the content they give us to work with headcanons lmao I'll never forget how techno was like "me and phil made the execution machine, headcanon that as u wish" I love it. Philza lore is just so nice to me we really need more of it. I saw someone taking about how mumza took two of his cannon lifes for him to have 1 immortal life and I kinda dig that idea. Just have to think more about it ig lol but olwolo tumblr user I hope that u know, and I can't stress this enough, that you're free to share any headcanons you might have been obsessing at the moment. Everybody loves olwolo headcanons, pretty sure its scientifically proven (by myself) 🧨

fair. and yeah i too am waiting for c!wilbur lore but i managed to wait like six months so i can do with few weeks sjkdl i definitely talked about it already but i enjoy the use of livestreams for storytelling so much!! it gives such a nice way to get attached to characters and like get in their heads? you can easily understand their motivations and their perspective of the story and it works in favor of villains like c!dream and c!schlatt too because there's only so much you can piece together from an outside perspective and just! it's all so neat!!

and now looking back at doomsday with the context of syndicate existing is so nice because i can appreciate the little moments between the four even more!! i love going back to some vods and seeing how moments gain new context. like dream talking about attachments during the railway skirmish or wilbur wondering if phil would be proud of him during the festival. it somehow all ties up so well. tbh i like the more scripted approach but i miss the semi-lore streams we got during s1 and early s2 which is why i really enjoy the las nevadas streams rn. they give off manburg and new l'manburg era vibes and i'm loving it.

just the way how i guess open? the medium of dsmp storytelling is really makes my creativeness run wild because there is kinda no limit to how you can imagine the characters or the landscapes so i just end up with ideas for worldbuilding when i come up with headcanons sdjk and i love the idea of c!wilbur meeting mumza after his death but i also really like the theory that the afterlife got fucked up because of the existence of revival book resulting in limbo (which now that i think about it could tie nicely with her appearance in the story). and i can't wait to get some more c!philza lore too! personally i like the idea of his longevity being tied to him having wings idk i like to show how old he is by the wingspan i draw him with- the older he gets the bigger they grow and i apply that to c!wilbur as well hence the tiny wings i draw him with. just the idea of c!wilbur also being able to live for hundreds of years but dying so early on has been plaguing my brain ever since cc!phil confirmed his character to be Old. another thing that i can't stop thinking about lately is the good ol' possession theory. i liked it during new l'manburg and i still like it now dhsjk so. c!quackity with small horns under his beanie (already started my propaganda with the sketches from few days ago sdjkslk;j)

[sanstropfremir]

Okay, time for my weekly rant so buckle up. The vocal stages were okay-I cant really remember them well because I watched them only once so take what I say with a grain of salt. Well I watched the Spark one once and I only got through half of the other one because I can’t stand ballads especially when there’s no interesting movement on stage to keep me engaged. Like it’s no fault of the members themselves or the song (I actually think their singing was incredibly beautiful and Eunkwang always sings like his wife just left him with the kids which is how you know he’s good) but I physically could not pay attention. That’s why I liked the spark stage a bit better-there was enough movement that I was able to focus on it. I really liked the use of the fire and the way they were walking in and out of the frame trading off parts so there weren’t too many awkward moments where the other members where on stage but not doing anything. The opening was gorgeous with each members being lit by the spotlight as they harmonize. So stagewise, I prefer Spark but vocally I think the other group was stronger. I love Spark and Taeyon is such an incredible vocalist (I mean the song is great because of her) so I don’t get why their delivery was, I don’t want to say weak, but subdued might be a better word. The only one that really stood out was Junhoe (but also that man couldn’t not stand out even if he tried, not with that incredibly rasp) and even he seemed to be holding himself back a bit. Though it was a bit slow it built up well to the two last choruses but still the first half could have been stronger. I know they were trying to draw it out to a strong pay off but I don’t really know if it was enough. And yes the suits were *chef’s kiss*. I think at this point in their career the FNC stylist has put SF9 in so many suits they’ve got it down to a science. Also I’m a sucker for those shirts with the triangle cut out and we got not one but two of them here.

Okay moving on, I’m not sure which group was next but I’ll talk about the Ikon stage. It seems like they finally realized that they’re on a performance based competition show so they decided to pull out the big guns. Love the little skit at the beginning (making sure people don’t forget that they’re YG), it was cute and refreshing. I really appreciated how they leaned into the campy acting in this stage (Stray kids did it too-just adding to the similarities between their stages). The song was meh but I also don’t really like BP especially not their recent stuff so it’s not a big deal. I would have preferred if they had gone with another song maybe Whistle or As If It’s Your Last or if they’d done a 2NE1 song like Chanwoo mentioned some point in the episode. I also think the stage would have been way smoother if they’d let Ikon and Lisa interact. Like if the boys appeared in her set after her section and then they all moved back to the first jungle set and then the whole thing turns gold and they did a dramatic outfit change (but with better jackets because theirs look like they came out of Party City). I also get what you mean about the dancers outfits not being that great. I actually really liked the outfits of Lisa’s dancers in isolation but they didn’t match with her or the set so they threw me off a bit. At least with the ikon members they were going for a modern look so the dancers outfits didn’t look that strange in comparison. Do you think it would have been better if they were white? How would you have improved then? The best way I can describe this performance was that it was a stage, stuff happened, I enjoyed myself but I don’t plan to revisit it anytime soon. Oh and we also have to give points for them cursing on national television not once but twice (at this point Jinwan deserves to say fuck).

Now to Stray Kids. So I feel like I need to preface this with the fact that I am actually a stray kids fan (I won’t call myself a stay because I don’t associate with the fandom) and though I’ve been really critical of them and their stages tend to be my least favorite I still have a soft spot for them (I got into this show because of them after all). I loved, loved, loved the intro with Felix (and yes his biggest flaw is that he’s Australian but I forgive him for it) and the way it immediately transitions into the chorus of DDD-the abrupt transition does fit really well with the Deadpool theme and I guess it is the closest they’re going to get to the feeling of yeeting themselves into traffic like in the movie. Interesting choice to start with the chorus. Now that I’m rewatching it I do really wish they stuck with the comic theme. I think that’s my gripe with SKZ-they have a lot of good ideas but they move on too quickly from them. Just pick a handful of things and sprinkle them throughout instead of cycling through them at breakneck speed. Like okay they’re doing Deadpool and he’s a comic character so keep the comic styling (it would have been a good thing to put in the projection behind Seungmin’s scene), maybe in the subway they could have had some fight choreo so the guns coming in at Lee Knows part aren’t out of nowhere (also someone please tell me they were trying to recreate the meme with the cat and the knives, please I need to know). I absolutely agree that them having a goal or an antagonist would have really helped the story along. I mean they literally have a spoken intro so why couldn’t Felix just tell us who they were fighting (and I’m pretty sure in the movie Wade tells us he’s trying to kill Francis in that scene sooo). As always they put more focus on the rappers (please can we get less Changbin and more Seungmin, Jeongin, or Lee Know or at least give Felix more parts). Seungmin was the real mvp of this stage and he had the best outfit (I think it qualifies for Hanya’s best gay little outfit list). Personally I with they hadn’t gone with Gods Menu again. I’ve been hoping that they would perform My Pace (and maybe remix it with their B-side TA off their Go Live album) because that would be such a fun stage. Again, I enjoyed myself but I won’t revisit it anytime soon. At this point the only groups I actually look forward to are BTOB and SF9 (they’re doing fucking Move and I don’t know whether to be excited or terrified-there’s a clip of Taeyang covering Move from a variety show or interview and I think he does it really well so I know at least one of them can pull it off). Again thanks for creating space where I can info dump and I hope I said something of interest to you!

i think you wrote more than me!! i love this, im gonna put my response under a cut im not being super obnoxious on the dash.

i get that the mayfly stage would be not as visually stimulating for people and usually i would count myself in with that crowd because i love a good spectacle but i think because i watched the spark stage first and my colour perception is sometimes weird so when there's a lot of movement with very little colour variation my tiny pea brain loses track of whats happening really quickly. especially with red. so it was kind of difficult for me to pay attention to the spark stage in the second half. also i absolutely HATE watching people flub on stage because it brings up such visceral secondhand feelings that i couldn't even watch the stage when i started the full episode today.

i love a good suit but you know what i would also love: sf9 in more costume variations. tbh im just getting nitpicky about it because im a costume designer down to the core and i got trained by a designer who specialized in doing avant garde costuming so i tend to skew more towards wild than reserved. it looks like the move stage wont be be suits so ill take it, but oh man to do i want to see some really crazy stuff. which i know they'll never do because idols have to be pretty at all times or the fans get mad but oh i want it so badly.

do you mean how i would improve ikon's backup dancers outfits or lisa's? here why dont i do both. for lisa's dancers i would have just done away with that harness shape all together, its almost exclusively a military style. the jackets by themselves would have been fine but really what they should have done was put them in something that matched the gold but contrasted enough to give them shape. by having at least her dancers in all black on a gold stage there was a lot of "haha look at me do a duck walk because lets throw in some voguing for spice." they could have gone with a mesh bodysuit idea similar to what she was wearing or even just different colour coats. as for ikon's backup dancers, firstly pants. not black. or even a longer skirt. genuinely a part of the reason why i dont watch girl group content is because i HATE the hem length of the shorts they make everyone wear. words cannot describe how much i hate that cut. kpop is so obsessed with showing off women's bodies and especially their legs but they do it in the LEAST flattering way possible because it "can't be too risqué," just shoot me now. i hate it. i hate it so fucking much. yea yea everybody was on cocaine in the 80s whatever but at least they were all wearing french cut bodysuits so their legs looked fantastic. stop interrupting the lines!! anyways. pants so the only section of skin showing is thigh to mid calf, especially because they weren't even doing any fun legwork! if they really wanted to keep the full sleeve bodysuits they shout have done them in a fabric with a texture or external embellishments, like a patent/vinyl or sequins/rhinestones. something to catch the stage lights so we can actually see the shape of the limb. but the easiest way to fix it is literally just cut the arms off the bodysuits. stages are lit to show off skin, sometimes the best way to have something be seen is just to have it bare.

i agreed skz cycles through ideas way too fast, they need to just pick a couple and stick them out through the stage instead of just adding more and more different ones throughout. also ok good someone else noticed that there is just...so much changbin. we don't need that much changbin. i know there's other boys in the group let them do something! also im pretty sure theyre not recreating the cat knife meme but actually the promo image from john wick chapter two, which i also could have sworn i saw a deadpool version of as an instagram ad back when movies were happening, but now that im looking for it it doesn't exist so i might be crazy.

im excited for the move stage but im also trepidatious because...its move. i have NO clue what the concept is from the previews so i just hope its weird enough to take it enough out of the taemin context for me to enjoy it.

[cadomoisspokenfor]

Legion Rewatch Notes,

Chapter 7:

The King In Yellow

Walter’s really putting his all into that whistling.

Kerry ended up losing Walter eventually. But I guess she was chased out of her hiding place by the zombies.

Theory: Much like how David feels most stable and confident when Syd’s around, Kerry feels most stable and confident when Cary’s around. She’s much less likely to lose a fight or get scared if Cary is in the vicinity. This would also explain why she feels so betrayed that Cary left her in Mental Clockworks. She works best when he’s around (power of love and all that) so when he’s not around she constantly feels like she’s on the ropes. Maybe only subconsciously though.

Lenny says “Hey” a lot.

So Farouk... actually seems distressed here. This is him at his least chill. He’s just shoved a person he actually cares about into a corner of their mind cause he just couldn’t understand them, the dream he’s created is collapsing and he has no plan on how to deal with it (rare for Farouk), and the location of his own body (his temple) is still lost to him after all this time.

Also, there’s apparently no specific place it could be. Farouk’s body could be anywhere on the globe. I guess he and everyone who knows about is aware that he could come back to his body if he knows where it is?

Even though it’s pointed out a lot I’ll also note that Charles is in his wheelchair in Amy’s flashback. And given future/past events (confusing, I know) this either means Farouk is the one who put him in a wheelchair, or whatever caused it happened between defeating Farouk and giving away baby David. And there’s... really not a lot of time in between those 2 events.

As we’ve seen before, while Farouk can probably see into Oliver’s ice cube residents, he can’t actually go inside or do anything to Oliver (or his guest) while he’s in there.

Farouk doesn’t want the dream to end until he’s located his body.

Cary is used to finishing Oliver’s sentences.

Cary and Oliver think very alike. The biggest difference between them I suppose is Oliver’s reality bending powers.

David never agreed to the barbershop quartet but Oliver put his name down anyways.

I never caught this before, but the thing that makes it obvious to Cary is the fact that the parasite called itself “King”. Before when watching this I thought “it’s just a name,” but I guess the point is... what other villain would be so hubris filled as to advertise who they are so openly. It speaks to the brazenness of Farouk. If Charles had ever checked back and found out David was talking to some invisible friend named “King” Farouk woulda been discovered then and there. I can only assume this means the name “King” was taunt of sorts. A joke only Farouk was in on. Not to mention, Farouk probably would never have settled for a name any less dignifying.

Oliver doesn’t remember any of his past friends, but he does remember Farouk. I wonder, did him and Cary hear about Farouk before or after Charles defeated him? Farouk hasn’t been publicly doing things for 30 years, and the only event that could reasonably be linked to him is Meiser Sunday. If they knew about him before Charles defeated him then that would just speak to his prolificness as a villain, I guess. “The Shadow King”, an unstoppable force for years until a random prodigy mutant gets him on his first try... or so they thought. I believe that’s how it happened in the comics too.

I’ll also note, Charles is an important figure in the mutant community, but it shouldn’t be discounted that the mutant community still existed and had a whole rich history before Charles even stepped on the scene. It seems like either Xaviers School doesn’t exist in this timeline, or they just don’t know about it. And given that, Summerland seemingly founded itself off the same general ideas of the Xavier School, but completely independently. Like 2 people coming up with the same idea on different sides of the planet.

Farouk’s weakness as Oliver puts it is, “He puts all of his energy into tricking David. Didn’t think to watch his six.” I wonder... is this a consistent weakness of Farouk’s? Could this be what Oliver means when he says he found his weakness in s2?

Oliver admits Farouk is too powerful for him. It’s not like he’s one to have a power complex, but it is interesting how shameless he is about it. He doesn’t really philosophize about that kind of thing, he’s matter of fact about it. Farouk’s got more measurable power than me, we need to find another way around him. He also notes though that *David* could defeat Farouk if need be. Everyone recognizes David as the top of the food chain.

Small note: I guess this is how it works between omega lvls. Always thinking of ways around each others raw abilities. Farouk knows David is too strong for him in s2, so he finds away around it. David knows he might not be able to hold out against Farouk’s built up experience, so he finds away around it. Brains over brawn every time, it would seem.

Cary feels really really bad for David. Seeing him screaming his brains out in a locked box knowing full well how much David hates small space. It’s very sweet. But also, 2 episodes Cary seemed a bit more standoffish about David. Knowing what he knows now recontextualized all those past events. David is a victim of something incomprehensibly terrible. He sees that now.

My boi Dan’s gonna need a lozenge after this one.

“We’re gonna need everybody.” They never get Ptonomy :/

I didn’t pick up on any of the other times, but Syd’s job here is to be a distraction. Sure, she has to protect the others in the process, but freeing them from the dream is the job of Cary, Oliver, and Melanie.

Still though, David is the victim who needs help here. He’s not the hero who saves them, he’s the one in need of saving. And Syd takes charge in the plan to do so and is tasked with protecting the others, making her once again closer to the hero archetype than David is. In the moment at least.

Syd’s talking fast cause they don’t exactly have all the time in the world here.

The zombies vanish but the architecture remains. There are “degrees” of real in the astral plane.

“Just thought it’d be interesting.” She’s over the whole “jumpscare haunted house” thing by now.

Silly me, the Melanie scene took place after Cary went to gather people. So it’s definitely Cary in the suit.

Melanie’s glad to see he’s back but she’s not completely love struck. Probably both cause he doesn’t remember her, and cause lovestruck Melanie was a result of her mind being altered to fit the delusion. Cary is guiding them out of the delusion so she’s back to her old self basically. Rational, and concerned with the mission.

This isn’t important, I just like how Melanie wakes him up here. It’s sweet, and bitter, cause it’s too late for him anyways.

Why does Farouk simulate this whole process for Rudy? What’s the use in tricking him if he already can barely do anything? We know Rudy gets him eventually, but it’s just surprising that Farouk recognizes him as being a potential threat.

Cary neglected to inform Syd who else he was personally waking.

Is Walter seeing the zombies too? Unclear. But he’s less chill about his tormenting now.

David starts using humor to cope. From what we’ve seen he’s been non-stop screaming for a while. It seems like he stops panicking as much specifically because his mind is fracturing to help him cope.

His first alter (that we see). Rational Mind.

RM says the coffin is just an “idea.” Very specific word choice there.

Rm tells him to forget all the “lies” he learned in memory work and the MRI. That was all Summerland stuff, though. “It’s your mind.” Essentially, trust yourself. You know who you are, don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Not even your new friends. Very reminiscent of, “You decide what is real and what is not.”

David doesn’t want to call his adoptive parents his parents anymore.

David’s happy to finally contextualize Farouk as a mutant and not a mental illness. It all starts making since to him, his whole life.

RM’s the first one to say “boohoo,” and it’s in response to David’s sadness over his bio-parents giving him away.

“I am pretty, I am loved.” “Good, keep going.” This mindset David’s falling into is specifically encouraged by his alters. In fact, it’s RM that pushes him down this path in the first place. David (non-Shadow King possessed David) has been avoiding this thought all season.

David’s a bit wrong here, and I think the difference tells us something important. David assumes Farouk possessed him after he was already living in the Haller’s house. But, we know it seemingly happened before Charles even got back from Morocco. So, given that Gabrielle’s mental health was already bad from post-partum depression (alternatively, it’s just the depression she already had) and Charles leaving her alone to go to Morocco, Farouk coming in and haunting the house probably sent things over the edge. David was most likely given away because Gabrielle wasn’t well enough to care for him like he needed, and Charles... 🤷🏾‍♀️ tbh. Might just’ve not wanted to raise David without Gabrielle. They both said they didn’t ant him to turn out like them. In s3 it’s made to seem like the house haunting was a combination of David and Farouk. David’s haunting time travelly presence probably made things worse, but Farouk would’ve gotten to the baby much sooner if not for him, and without David in the way Farouk probably would’ve upped his own intentional torments. The goal was revenge after all.

David assumes Farouk’s goal is revenge upon the whole world. Makes sense since that’s what Farouk’d been encouraging David to all season. And what he’ll continue to encourage him towards throughout s2 & 3.

Syd “woke him up.” She makes him more stable and sane. She grounds him in reality.

“I was sick, but I’m not sick anymore.” A moment of quiet deliberation with his alter and then he awakens with newfound confidence and a plan. This will repeat in a very tragic way later on.

Kerry, Syd, and a damaged comrade in a wheelchair. If I had nickel for every time this happens I’d have 2 nickels. Very weird it happens twice. Unless... mental clockworks and the end of s3 are supposed to parallel each other.

I assume the astral-plane diving suit protects whoever’s wearing it from psychic threats, much like the ice cube. At the moment, no one’s wearing it.

Sometimes psychics powers require a bit of miming to manifest. Oliver can’t just wave his hand and make a shield, not a strong enough one at least. Similarly, Farouk can’t just expand his mind into the future, he needs to go through a whole time machine building process in the astral plane.

Cary and Melanie seeing Walter get killed must hit hard for them considering he used to be a student of theirs. Sure, he turned against them, but still...

They juxtapose Walter dying with Rudy fully waking up. I wonder if that means it was his powers that were keeping Rudy docile and not necessarily the stab wound.

David is the one that wakes them all up, destroys the dream, and puts them back in their real bodies. And just in time for Cary to place the halo on his head. This is I think the first time David does a real act of super-heroism. The only potential one previously is saving Amy and he wasn’t really the one in control there. This is his first win against Farouk.

David’s not only got control of his powers, but control of himself for the first time, too. And it’s to the point where he’s perceiving things at lightning speeds and moving fast enough to catch bullets. Along with whatever power he’s using to halt the bullets momentum too. For now at least, this is our hero.

They play sinister music whenever he does the bright white light teleport. He does it again at the end of s2. Is it a specific kind of teleport, or is he just adding flair?

David didn’t teleport them directly to the base.

Kerry sadly looks at Rudy’s body.

Melanie looked around for Oliver but in doing so missed him meeting up with the others.

Everyone’s relaxing after their long fought for victory. David and Syd seem really happy. They find Oliver funny/charming.

When Cary’s talking to Kerry, in the background I can barely make out everyone else talking about potatoes.

David’s fine with Amy apologizing, just not in front of the others.

Instead of “The Poor Woodcutter and His Wife” Oliver calls it the “The story of The Lady and the Crane.”

Farouk doesn’t like small spaces either. Ha.

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 2, 2019 // making the call

saved the last 2 minutes of this ep for tomorrow to keep on track so heres this

-i just realized laura never asked about the drive before she left last ep. wonder if she'll come back in s3 after tiffanys info finally comes into play

-"do you want to tell me why you think he'd be going after ryan?" wonder if carson thinks is joshua suspected the truth or found out about lucy having a baby and now hes all panicked

-"girl what is on your head??" 😂

-"it might help my dad's case" soooo i love how she said this. like. shes framing it so she can relate what she has to do to others. like she has to justify or give some reason for inviting someone else. she could have just said "im going if u want to come" but instead has to draw focus to her problem first, which is the only reason shes extending an invitation, if it relates to her own problems

-i wonder what lucy dying in the water has influenced her in telling nancy to call the agleaca. wonder if the agleaca found her and helped channel her spirit to apparition form. maybe she saw how lucy died "for love" wonder if the agleaca thought she was a fool or not for it. wonder if lucy would be strong enough to fight something like the agleaca, judging by simon probably not. it would have been cool to see a showdown between them or to watch lucy try to protect nancy from the beyond 😌 maybe the agleaca trying to take owen was her trying to give a warning? she was actually trying to "help" a la lucy/george's prediction was correct. sadly, we'll never know

-LOVE bess sitting criss cross on the bartop 😂and love the bess/owen cousins' call 🙏🏻💙

-this convo nancy has w owen at the police station reminds me of the kidnapping ep. when nick tries to help nancy she shoots him down. he tries to reason w her but unsuccessfully. what exactly is owen doing/saying differently? or is this just a reflection of how much nancy actually likes him? im just interested in the contrast. nick and owen both have calm, logical approaches. theyre both honest about wanting to be there for her. maybe the subject matter? in response to gombers warehouse nick was talking about facing old fears, which nancy definitely did do. but since nancy is primordially uninterested in discussing feelings, that was a no go. i think nancy even telling owen she was tracking a biotech ceo was a hugeconcession for her. or was it just because nick was inaccessable sexually but owen had potential? ¿ questions.

-LOVE owen side-eyeing nancy at this hilarity if a convo (and fucking Chad?? lmaoooo he is sostupid enough to fall for this probe)

-"i have to admit, that was kind of fun" / "i cant remember the last time i had this much fun" / "almost as fun as a real fight"

-"i got a D in french" well george if u retake it now you'll get a P instead 🤪

-"theres one more thing" so am i stupid or?? whats the second thing nick and ace have to tell her at the police station? that karen signed the form? bc nancy already figured that out so im confused.

-so karen in the security video is wearing the sweet purple pantsuit from the garden party ep which i checked the dates and yeah its about a month ago from today

-"i know the system favors the privileged" just imagine karen working her way up to detective as a young woman haunted by pain. and then her meeting the drews and nancy and having her remind karen of lucy, her cleverness, her spirit, but not knowing why. it just sucks bc in a male dominated field karen was trying to get justice and do good and then this happens

-"you tore two families apart" nancy's and tiffany's but this quote also applies to lucy's death tearing apart lucy's family (with her mom and josh) and ryan's (d/t not knowing nancy is his)

-UNPOPULAR OPINION: karen/josh - hatefuck- reuniting somehow (how did they reconnect? who called who?) when he gets back in town, come up with a plan, start an affair d/t their shared pain over lucy? then she fucks around with carson? why go there?

-"i loved your mom like a sister" / "i'm just glad my mom's not around to see who you've become" x2 now that we know the truth all these statements from karen especially just get heavier. like what bad luck to bond with two strong women who have to leave you like this (karen is a unique foil to nancy where they both have a connection to kate and lucy each)

-when ace says "i know nancy" thom just has this look on his face like "....oh youre in deep. sigh"

-hannah's disappearances "maybe she has nancys work ethic" in s2 she was shown out and about doing stuff and we know her burns were supernaturally caused but i wonder if hannah herself dabbles in anything else thet keeps her busy 🤔

-"300 pages about men and women get 2 pages in the back" 🙃preach

-i hate how in s2 they all forget this convo of nance literally saying "i cant ask you guys to do this" when they all blame her for every ill that ever happened ever

-THIS BITCH JUST PUTS HER BARE ASS HANDS ON HIS FUCKING OPEN WOUNDS???

-and it's snowing? in october? but only where they are by this part of the ocean?

-wait how does owen know bess sleeps in a van and does nothing about that?

-kissy faces😘😘see owen willing to meet nancy where shes at is soooo important. like him having his secret apartment in the city 👌🏻even tho she rejects him taking her out like he always wants he doesnt mind that he cant. hes not like nick- he doesnt mind being kept quiet (until bess's accidental reveal) his acceptance of her boundary there actually keeps him closer to her

and lastly

-george liking nick is so cute

[all-might-blog]

Drinking Dulls The Pain

All_Greenie

Summary:

Inko doesn't usually drink. In fact, ever since Izuku was born, she had thrown away all of Hisashi's alcohol bottles and kdwpt herself away from any kind of alcohol in order to concentrate on her son. But pain, sorrow and fear can make one forget their vows...

Midoriya Inko never drank. Never. She had a son to think of, and she had stopped doing so ever since he had been born. She had even thrown away her late husband's alcohol collection, since he no longer bothered living with them. She kept anything and everything that would distract her to be Izuku's mother, anything that could distract her from her only job.

But then, pain, sorrow and fear could break one's vows.

She now sat at a bar, grasping a mug of whisky with one hand, the other pressed against her temple. She had chosen the table farthest away from everyone else, the football game distracting everyone from seeing the teary woman sitting alone in a small table. She had left Izuku in Mitsuki's care for the time being, and she didn't feel like she would be able to take her son back until the following day. She didn't need him to see her like this. She needed to keep him safe, not put any more stress in his life than he was already experiencing. Being quirkless... it had come as a punch straight to the gut. He had looked... quiet about it. But then, seeing him sitting at the computer, rewatching the same footage over and over again, then asking her if he could be a hero like his beloved Idol with tears in his eyes, hand trembling as he pointed at the screen.

And instead of telling him that everything would be okay, that he would somehow become a hero... she had apologized. She had hugged him, breaking down right there and then. She could have stayed strong, but seeing the tearful face of her son...

This made her even sadder, tears filling her eyes. She felt even worse, that she was going back on her vow about keeping away from the alcohol, but she still brought the mug to her mouth, taking a mouthful of the stuff and swallowing it, the liquid burning as it went down her throat. She vowed her head, green hair falling around her head to hide most of her face as the tears fell. That was… her… second glass? She wasn’t sure. She didn’t care. She gulped don the rest of the glass, ignoring the way her eyes were already losing a bit of focus. It might have been due to the tears, but she honestly didn’t know. She honestly didn’t care. Her mind was a muddled mess of thoughts in her head that she couldn’t get straight, and her head hurt. It hurt so much. She blamed the alcohol on that, but that didn’t stop her from ordering another glass from the passing bartender. He looked at her curiously, but complied to do so.

She held on to her empty mug, just to give something for her hands to hold on. The bartender returned with another cup.

“Are you really sure you want to drink this? It’s your second, and you don’t look that good…”

“Gimme,” she said. The bartender sighed, setting it down in front of her.

“As you wish. But be careful, miss.” she had already brought the mug to her mouth when he said “careful”, swallowing about half of it in one go. The bartender frowned at her, then left to attend to other customers. Inko shut her eyes tightly, setting down the mug with a sigh and staying like that for a minute or so, headache pounding. She heard the scrape of a chair against the ground and opened her eyes to find another man taking a seat opposite her, setting down his own mug of beer.

“Mind if I sit here? There are no other available tables and I just thought you could use some company, hmm?" he asked, tilting his head a bit. Inko grunted her reply, bringing the mug to her mouth and drinking most of the whiski that had been left. The man eyed her with a concerned expression on his thin face.

"You don't look like the person to spend her nights at the pub and I can tell something's bothering you. I know you don't even know me, but you can talk to me if you need." he said. Inko looked up at him, taking in his features. He looked... strange. Unusual. With messy, unkempt, blonde short hair, two tufts of it framing his face. He was wearing a trench coat, but Inko could tell that he was thin just by looking at his hands, neck and face. His eyes were surrounded by blackness, but the blue irises were immensely intense, as if he could tell exactly what was troubling her. As if they bore deep into her soul, seeing the pain, the fear and the worry she was smothering with alcohol deep in her. It made her hands tremble, mouth quiver, tears well at her eyes, overcome by all her emotions.

And looking at those eyes, that seemed to tell her that he could be trusted, filled with silent gentleness... it already had the words tumbling out of her mouth.

"I have a son. He's the one person I care for the most and nothing could ever replace him." she said, in a pitch changing voice due to the headache, the alcohol and her emotions. "But... yesterday he was diagnosed quirkless and all I can see is his face when he asked if he could become a hero. And it... I had made a vow not to drink, but all this- it's been so painful- I- I can't-" she dropped her head into her hands, sobbing her extremely pained heart. The headache was intensifying, and she had the feeling that it had nothing to do with the drinks she had had.

Toshinori was lost for words to say. It wasn't the first time he had seen a woman cry, but seeing this one in particular... it seemed to break, shatter and blow up his heart all at once. He was doubtful at what he could do about it, since he wasn't All Might, and he didn't look his best either. He was surprised she had even opened up to him, a total stranger to her. She must have been desperate. She must have nit have had someone to talk to, and instead had come to a pub to drown out her feelings with alcohol. He stood up.

"How about we get you out of here, hmm? I always do better with some fresh air." he said. She nodded, not wanting to get any other people to worry over her. She let the man help her to her feet, fumbling for her purse to pay for her drinks. But her hands were trembling so much that she couldn't.

"That's fine." the man said quickly, pulling out his own wallet and giving the bartender money for her drinks. She didn't have the energy to argue about it, which made it easier for him to help her outside.

The fresh air filled her lungs, and instantly it seemed to make her feel better. The soft breeze felt nice on her flushed skin, and she managed to wipe away her tears, smudging make up along with it. She honestly couldn't have cared less, letting her hand drop to her sides.

"Better?" the man asked.

"A lot." she mumbled back.

"I haven't intrudeced myself yet. Yagi Toshinori." he said as they began to walk away from the loud noises of the pub and into an empty street.

"Midoriya Inko." Inko replied quietly, rubbing her temple.

"I truly am sorry for you and your son. I know how it must feel like, since I am also quirkless." Not a lie, but not the truth either.

"Oh..."

"But enough about me. Anything I can help with?"

"… I don't know."

"Just tell me whatever's on your mind." he suggested. Inko tried to think, but her mind was a jumbled mess of thoughts.

"… Why are you helping me?" she settled on that question.

"I just have this feeling that makes me want to help others." Toshinori explained. "And I can't ignore it."

"Oh. Okay. I just... I'm just really weak when it comes to emotions." she said, looking at her feet.

"Well, as my master used to say, all women are worriors, mothers doubly so. It was only natural for you to feel like that when your son wasn't happy." Toshinori said.

Inko sniffed, wiping at her aching eyes. "Thanks."

"No problem. If you need a buddy to talk to, I am here at the pub every Thursday night."

"Is there a reason to that?"

Toshinori smiled sadly. "I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders."

Inko didn't know it then, but what he said... it was quite literal.

Inko returned home that night. Mitsuki was in her kitchen, Katsuki at home with his father, Izuku in his bedroom. Her best friend gave her a hug before leaving for her own home. Inko wanted to got to sleep, slump in bed, but she walked to Izuku's bedroom first. He was asleep in bed, clutching an All Might doll to his chest, a content, little smile on his face. Inko tiptoed to his bedside, bending down to kiss his forehead, motherly, fierce love burning in her chest.

He was quirkless. But he was her son, the person she cared about the most. She didn't care that Hisashi had left, because that meant that she could raise him her way, keep him happy and safe.

She would devote herself to taking care of her son.

[kattegat-kittycat]

Fates Entwined, part VI: Safe In A Dream

After your former clan was brutally murdered, you agree to an arranged marriage with Ivar to keep your social status. You may not always see eye to eye and sometimes even find yourself on different sides of one war or the other, but somehow you can never escape each other no matter how much you try to forget, deny and run. Somehow you always end up in each other’s faces. Sometimes quite literally.

A/N:  As the fact checking goes, there actually was the possibility of mills and flour during the Viking age. I doubt that the mills in Ribe/Ripa actually date back that far, but well...

Don’t get me into the physical locations of all the Viking towns and stuff. It is incorrect in Vikings, so I don’t try to fix it now. Took me around seven hours from the German border to Ribe by bike, so I guess it would be about a day’s worth of travelling by horse. Anyhow. 

There is a little teeny tiny bit of smut in the end, slightly dubcon, little fingering, little oral, nothing in the grand scheme of things, seeing that in Vikings there are people having sex and being raped all the time. I am not that comfortable with that, so, well, it is pretty vanilla. 

As I will have to go back and rewatch a few episode to make sure I get the story woven into the series’ context at least a little sensibly, it might take a couple days (read: might be weeks) for me to update again. Just a heads up. I had this planned out a little differently first, but now I will probably have to wait for the series to end, so I know how to end this story. 

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

On the edge of life.

After all these days are gone. The endless haze will rise. I close my eyes. I'm safe from all harm. I'm safe in a dream.I want you to stay. I want you to be there for me. 'Cause I need your love. I need your touch. I long for your embrace.

Entwined - Safe In A Dream

The people of Ripa had gladly accepted me back in their town and as head of the earldom. Many of them had stories to tell of my uncle ruling them with a hand harder than necessary. I was happy to be back in my hometown at the bank of the river leading through the marshes to the sea. It was beautiful and so much calmer than the hustle and bustle in Kattegat. It was softer than the fjord-environment; there were endless marshes and fields to be farmed and the sunrises were the most beautiful I had ever seen, I was sure of that. I also loved hearing the watermills at Neder-, Mellem- and Overdammen in the inner city, producing all the flour we could wish for.

My family’s estate had been ransacked, but with the support of a few helpful hands, we were able to rebuild it pretty quickly. I knew I would have to return to Kattegat in time to be back when Ivar came home, but I also had to think of my earldom now. Ripa was the oldest town in the north, and I was proud to be its earl.

I talked with my old teacher, Ole, about setting up a council to decide over all important matters in my absence and I trusted Ole to be its head. I was more than happy when he agreed to my suggestion. He had been my teacher when I was younger, so I knew I could place the fate of my home and my people in his hands. After a couple of weeks in Ripa, when I was sure peace could and would be held up even if I went away, I gathered the shield maidens Lagertha had sent with me and we made our way back to Hedeby.

But there were no signs of Lagertha or most of the inhabitants here. The town was uncharacteristically quiet considering the amount of warriors and shield maidens that usually roamed the streets and went about their daily businesses. As we drew closer, we realised that except for a few men guarding the town and the traders, villagers and farmers, the city was empty. We rode up to the Ting house, where I expected to find Lagertha or at least someone who could tell us, what had happened. As I had thought, all we found was her secondary, a woman called Ragnheiđur. She came toward us as we neared the house and greeted us calmly.

She was an imposing woman, broad shoulders and long blond hair, even for a viking warrior she was really muscular. She was as strong as most men and you could see the silent confidence in her every move. She had grown up in Hedeby and had been taken under Lagertha’s wing when Lagertha came here. As I trusted Ole with Ripa, Lagertha trusted Ragnheiđur with Hedeby, because she knew that she wanted the best for her hometown. Astrid was the person Lagertha trusted most, but Ragnheiđur was a close second. I also had to admit that it was a compliment to Lagertha’s tactical thinking that she had left some of her best fighters in Hedeby. Firstly, they could keep foreign forces at bay and second of all, it led people to underestimate Lagertha’s real military power. I made a mental note and then frowned. It only left one question:

“Where is Lagertha?” I asked Ragnheiđur, as soon as I was within earshot.

“Well, hello to you, too. I hear you had a successful journey to your hometown, Earl of Ripa.” Even though she had just shoved my nose into my own impoliteness, she was easy to laugh and did just that.

“I am sorry, there was a lot on my mind. Hello and greetings to you, Ragnheiđur. How come you are here to greet me and not Lagertha? I wanted to thank her personally for her help.”

Ragnheiđur shook her head, but smiled. She was young, but pretty unimpressed by my impatience. She herself was not the most patient person, so she knew how to take my blunt question.

“Haven’t you heard? Lagertha is now the reigning Queen of Kattegat. She overthrew Queen Aslaug who renounced her claim on the throne.”

I was about to just turn my horse around, but Ragnheiđur stopped me.

“It is about to get dark and you probably haven’t eaten. Please come in and sit with me before you leave for Kattegat. You won’t be able to change anything anymore. What has been done, is done.”

I gave her a stern look. “What has she done?”

Ragnheiđur’s face turned sad. “You know what happened. You know why she took the opportunity while you were away. You might not have been Aslaug’s greatest fan, but Lagertha knew you would try to stop her, when she wanted to kill the Queen.” She grabbed my horse’s reigns and petted its nose. “Come in and eat. You won’t change the past by endangering yourself. Don’t forget, you are important now.” She grinned at me as she spoke those words. She was so open and easy to listen to, I didn’t think twice and followed her advice.

I got off my horse and she gave its reigns to her servant girl, who brought it into the direction of the stables. I followed her into the Ting house and the shield maidens who had followed me to Ripa entered just behind us. It would probably be the last quiet evening for a while. The last evening I would not have to talk and act politics, because Ragnheiđur already started asking me about my hometown and if it still looked like I remembered it. As dinner was served, she suddenly turned a little quieter.

“Would you mind taking the princes with you to Kattegat when you are leaving?” she then asked.

“The princes?” I asked, a little confused.

“Yes, trust me, it is a long story.” And with that she started to recount the happenings of the last weeks, clearly marking her distaste in some of the events, but who was she to question her earl? I could see how I would have to treat around Lagertha in the future, because I, too, had sworn her allegiance, just like Ragnheiđur had. When I asked her if it caused her any problems, she smiled again.

“Of course we are not always of the same opinion, but in the end, I find it easier to follow Lagertha than any other earl or queen. I know who she is, I know what she wants, she doesn’t play unnecessary games. She is a just ruler. I am also in a unique position to learn a lot from her, about leadership, about life, about making hard decisions.”

I considered her words and felt relief wash through me. Maybe I had made the right decision, even if it hurt.

*

Ragnheiđur came to wake me up the next morning. “Y/N, you want to wake up. Margarete just freed the princes and they are getting ready to leave.”

I sat up in an instant, looking straight into her dark brown eyes, as I opened mine. “Gods, Ragnheiđur, you scared me.”

She just chuckled and grinned. “Haha, sleepy head, get dressed and get yourself ready, I’ll tell the princes to wait.” She gave me another look, then she left the house.

When I got out into the broad daylight, Ubbe and Sigurd stood beside their horses, obviously frustrated by the delayed departure, but waiting for me. Or at least Ubbe was, Sigurd was flirting with Ragnheiđur as best he could. She smiled at his jokes, but I could see that she wasn’t impressed. When Ubbe saw me, his face turned darker than before.

“Oh, nice, the traitor makes her entry.”

Ragnheiđur suddenly turned to him and gave him a shove. “Hey, you don’t get to talk about her that way! She is worth more than the two of you.”

I smiled ruefully. “Thank you Ragnheiđur, but he is kind of right. I did betray my promise to his brother.”

Ubbe threw me a dark look. “You know as well as I do, that I am talking about you turning your back on my mother and leaving her defenseless.”

I snorted. “You mean like you did when you came here? Don’t try blaming that on me.”

We stared each other down for a moment, until Ragnheiđur had enough. “You wanted to leave, Ubbe, now you are free to go. Don’t make a scene, just go.”

I expressed my gratitude to Ragnheiđur and then got on my horse, waiting for the princes to do the same. When I heard the sound of their horses following me, I could feel myself relax a little. We rode in silence for the first part of the journey, until Ubbe rode up next to me. Sigurd was still behind us and he didn’t make any attempts at riding up either. He seemed to be content where he was. Ubbe on the other hand had something to say.

“So, you made a pact with Lagertha to gain her support in your attempt at overthrowing your uncle. How did that go for you?” he asked way too sweetly. I wanted to slap him.

“Fairly well for the second part. Turns out, she didn’t really want my help though, but rather to get me out of the way.”

Ubbe’s eyes fixated on me. “So, you were not a part in the battle for Kattegat?”

“No, I got injured claiming Ripa and I only came back yesterday. And that was what Lagertha had hoped for. She knew I had no trouble leaving Kattegat to her, but I would not have let her kill your mother.”

“Why would she…”

“We are pretty similar. She did not only want her home back. She wanted revenge on the woman who took it from her.”

Ubbe objected: “Our mother has not stolen anything…”

Sigurd gave a humorless laugh from behind us. “My dear brother, you of all should know that our mother is far from perfect, she is manipulative and used to getting what she wants, whatever she needs to do for it. I mean, she came back to Kattegat, pregnant with you, driving Lagertha out of her own home. She used the trouble of a girl without a family to get her crippled son married. I am more confused that Y/N would have defended her than by the fact that Lagertha would want to kill her.”

It was the first time, I actually appreciated something Sigurd had said and I looked at him with surprise. “I was indebted to her. And while it might seem unlikely, I did like her. Not very much, but more than a little.” He threw me a sceptical look.

“You do realise she only used you, do you?” he asked.

I shrugged. “I cannot claim that I have been at a disadvantage because of that. I did not like the way she went about it, but I do think that she believed herself to be kind in helping me, even if it served her own ends.”

Sigurd snorted. “You really do like our brother. How very odd.”

We rode in silence again, until Ubbe said:

“So, I hear you’re an earl now.”

I snorted. “I guess I am. But don’t tell Ivar that I am more important than him.”

Ubbe burst into laughter. And Sigurd shook his head in amusement.

“So, I guess congratulations are in order?” Sigurd said from behind us.

I shrugged. “I only claimed my rightful title. And I got my revenge.”

“Like Lagertha?” Sigurd asked again.

“No. I killed all his heirs and loyal followers as well. You don’t want to keep around people who hold a grudge against you. Look where it brought my uncle. Or your mother.”

“That is cold blooded.” Ubbe remarked and I shrugged.

“It is war. There is no place for feelings in a war.”

Sigurd frowned. “Why do I still keep on being surprised by how similarly you and Ivar are thinking?”

“Thank you.” I smirked at Sigurd.

His frown went deeper. “That was not a compliment.”

Ubbe and Sigurd turned uncharacteristically quiet. Until Sigurd piped up:

“Should I feel guilty for not really feeling grief about the loss of my mother?”

Ubbe’s face turned dark. “We do not know that Lagertha killed her! Maybe she is still alive. All we have are speculations.”

I gave a nod. “I cannot see your mother any more. But then again, I could only see her future when I touched her.”

“So, what can you see, if you cannot see what is going on in Kattegat or with our mother?” Ubbe asked.

“Your brother. I can see your brother.” I answered solemnly.

“He is sitting in a dark room somewhere in England. Your father is still with him, but Ivar is sure that they are going to kill him. He is ready to die with your father. He cannot really understand their language, so he doesn’t know what is going on and Ragnar won’t tell him much. He is afraid of losing him, now that he spent some time with him.”

Sigurd rolled his eyes. “Precious little Ivar was probably a big help for father.”

“He was. Ragnar had to carry him through the woods, yes, but Ivar helped him kill the traitors in their midst who were ready to sell them out to the English.”

“How do we know you don’t just make that up?” Ubbe asked. It was not a vicious question, just a curious one.

“You don’t. I don’t even know how I know this. But I can tell you one thing, your brother will not come back the same person after this. I am a little afraid of what the news of your mother’s death might do to him. He will need his brothers after that.”

Sigurd’s voice turned bitter. “We don’t even know if Ivar comes back and if our mother is dead. But I am quite sure that our little momma’s boy could use some harsh reality to wake up and realise the world does not revolve around him.”

“That, Sigurd, is the problem.” My voice had turned sharp. “He is aware of that and that is why he will want to create a world that revolves around him.”

“Should you be speaking about your husband in that manner?” Ubbe asked more amused than actually affronted.

I cocked an eyebrow. “Ubbe, I will do anything to prevent my husband from going on an insane quest to prove his worth to the Gods. But to keep him safe, I have to face the harsh reality of who he is and who he could turn into.”

Ubbe’s piercing blue eyes met mine. “Is he your husband or your quest?”

I shrugged. “A little bit of both. But before all else, he is my life.”

“Well, good luck with that.” I heard Sigurd whisper.

 *

 When we arrived back in Kattegat, I found my fears proven right. Lagertha had crowned herself queen and killed Aslaug. But there was nothing, I could do or could have done. Even if I had been in Kattegat, there would have been no chance for me or the princes to help. The people of Kattegat remembered their former leader and Ragnar’s first wife and they supported her. Nobody had liked the etheral and distant Aslaug much, whereas most people still remembered how Lagertha had helped built the foundations for Kattegat to become what it was now. I looked at Ubbe and Sigurd and I could see in their faces that they understood as well. I wondered about Margarete, but Sigurd quickly explained to me that she would be coming back to Kattegat the next morning, at least that was what Ragnheiđur had told them.

I entered the longhouse behind the two princes and watched on as they witnessed what we already had suspected; there was no way to fight Lagertha. Ubbe tried to avenge the death of his mother in a fit of rage when he saw my visions had turned reality and became even angrier when he heard that they had been quick to burn her body as well.

I had held myself in the background, because I had no reason to fight Lagertha, but after the commotion had settled and Ubbe and Sigurd had left the longhouse, Lagertha stood up and came over to me. It was no leisurely stroll, it was a prowl, she was ready to pounce and rip my throat out, if I did anything wrong.

I took a knee and bowed before her. “My queen.” I addressed her and left no doubt where my loyalties lay.

“Y/N, for a moment there, I was confused as to what to think about you appearing with the sons of Ragnar.” She remarked, making sure beyond the shadow of a doubt that I was hers.

I stood and looked at her calmly. “We had the same road to travel, so Ragnheiđur suggested we travel together. Greetings from her and Hedeby, they extend you their congratulations.”

She gave an appreciating little nod. “Thank you. So, tell me, how did your voyage out west go?”

“The earldom of Ripa also extends its congratulations and is at your service should our help be needed.” I said and beamed at her proudly. She took my shoulder and drew me into a tight hug. Even though she touched my shoulder only lightly, I cringed a little in pain. The wound had healed up well, but it still gave me some pain and aches. Lagertha’s eyes followed her hand and noted the reaction.

“I am sorry my queen, I got injured in the battle.”

“That’s a small price to pay to restore the world as it should have been in the first place. We just followed our fates. So you were able to overcome the usurper and kill him?”

“Him and his whole kin. I do not believe in misguided clemency. He tried to erase my family from the world and so I erased his.”

“You probably don’t think it wise of me to keep the sons of Aslaug around?”

I smiled at her wearily. “I am in no position to question your judgement on the matter. And I am thankful as my husband is one of them.”

She gave a nod. “I know. So be assured that unless provoked, I could never kill any son of Ragnar. Also, I know them to act before they think and that makes them less of a threat. The only one not lacking their father’s vision is Ivar, but as long as you can convince him to refrain from going after me, you must fear no harm.”

“It will be hard work, but I will do my best.”

“Surely he will listen to you.” Lagertha said and left no doubt that he better do as she said.

“You haven’t really met my husband until now, have you?” I asked her, slightly amused.

She frowned. “Well, you better find a way to appease him, because I will not spare him if he makes an attempt on my life.” There was a definitive edge to her voice that told me how serious she was.

I bowed my head and gave a nod. “I am aware of that, my queen. I am, however, also aware of the fact that he can be very impulsive and please consider that he is the youngest of the sons and had a close bond with his late mother.”

Lagertha looked at me for a long time, then she gave a nod. “I will take that into consideration”, then she smiled, more to herself than at me, “Ragnar was impulsive as well, when he was young. But well, we don’t even know if they will come back. And then Ragnar will have to…”

“Ragnar will not be coming back to Kattegat.” I told her.

Her eyes narrowed. “And how would you know that?”

“I saw it. I am not as gifted a seer as Aslaug, but Ragnar will be handed to King Aelle. And you know that there is no love lost between those two.”

“And what makes you think your husband will survive if even Ragnar had to surrender?”

I smiled at that. “You really don’t know my husband.” There was a sense of pride that came with these words. Ivar was sly. He was cunning and he was stronger than people gave him credit for. But the less she knew, the better.

She gave me a pitiful smile, but I knew, I was right.

 *

 I found Margarete in the kitchen the next day, preparing food for the night. She seemed slightly scared, but mostly angry. There had been no love lost between her and Queen Aslaug, but at least Aslaug hadn’t played her for a fool and used her to her own ends. She resented Lagertha for playing her.

“Can you not free me from Lagertha? I do not wish to serve her, she tricked me into deceiving Ubbe and Sigurd.”

I shook my head with a sad smile. “I am afraid not. I have yet to prove my worth to Lagertha, also, I do not have the money or the means to buy you from her.”

Margarete made an impatient gesture. “What good was your becoming an Earl, when you don’t have any power?”

I lost my patience with the girl. “Margarete! You know how to get out of this! You were already on your way to convince Ubbe to marry you.”

Margarete looked at me with wide eyes. “How do you…?”

“I know these games. A lot of slaves have slept their way to freedom. I don’t judge you for it, people have to do what they can to be free.”

“Like marry Ivar the Boneless, gain military power and overthrow their uncle?”

It sounded almost as bad as sleeping your way to freedom. Well, to be honest, had Ivar not been Ivar, it would have been exactly the same. I still smiled at her.

“And this is why I like you. We are very similar in some regards.”

Margarete took a deep breath and looked at me levelheaded.

“But Ubbe has nothing to say in whatever Lagertha does. She might very well just kill him.”

I shook my head. “He is still a son of Ragnar and that means something to the people in Kattegat. She could never kill one of them, least of them Ubbe. He looks too much like his father. So go on, take your chance. You deserve more than this. But be careful, Margarete. I cannot save you, I hold no power in this town.”

Her head bobbed in understanding. As I was about to go, she grabbed my wrist.

“Thank you. For not judging me based on what I have to do. If you ever need my help…you know where to find me.”

I smiled at her. “Just promise me to be careful.”

 *

 I could feel the mood change in Ivar, when Ragnar was handed to Aelle. I mostly felt it through the flare of anger being lit in Ivar’s mind. I could feel the slow burn of hatred consume most of his thoughts and cloud his mind, as he set sail to Kattegat.

I wasn’t there when Ivar’s boat landed at the harbour and when he confronted and challenged Lagertha, I had been to Hedeby for the day and as I returned, I heard people talk and chatter. And then I felt his presence in the town. It was not only his own anger that seeped through the streets, but also the people’s apprehension as they all knew that Ivar coming home to the news of his mother being dead at the hands of Lagertha did not bode well. I heard from somebody that Ivar had been escorted out of the longhouse back to his old dwellings. So, I entered our home, unsure if this even was our home anymore. I took a deep breath and pulled aside the curtain dividing his space from the main room of the house. He was sitting on the bed and his head shot up, as soon as I entered the space. An unreadable grin spread across his face, splitting it in two, making it look like a horrible grimace.

“My wife. My beautiful moon… Tell me, how is your shoulder, love?”

I quickly touched my fingers to the scar on my left shoulder and knew from the calculating look in his eyes that he knew. I closed my eyes.

“How do you know?” I asked calmly.

He snorted and tilted his head. “It’s kind of a funny story…” And with that he took the helm of his shirt and pulled it over his head, revealing a scar that looked exactly like the one I sported and that had not been there before he had left for England. “I had a dream. I got hit by an arrow while conquering Ripa, a town that I had never seen before, but now know better than I care for. I woke up screaming in agony. So… if this is true, you probably went to Ripa.”

I gave a nod. Why did I feel my cheeks burst up in red hot shame, when I had nothing to be ashamed of? “Yes, I did.” I said in a little voice that didn’t even sound like me.

“Even though you promised me to stay in Kattegat.” And there was the accusational tone, I had been waiting for.

“Well, I am here now, am I not?” I countered and felt more like myself again.

His eyes glared at me like blue flames. “But you went to Ripa and endangered yourself.” He pressed at me through clenched teeth.

“I did what I needed to do. And now I am back here for you.”

“You could have been killed!” He screamed at me, which took me aback. I knew his low growling, his mocking, his sardonic undertones, his playful threats, but never had I heard him scream like this. He sounded more like a wounded animal than angry. That surprised me the most. Ivar wasn’t only angry, Ivar was afraid.

“But I wasn’t killed, that’s what matters.” I tried to soothe him.

“No, it is not! I cannot have you traipsing around getting yourself in danger!”

He had pushed me over the edge of my empathy. “And what is it to you?! You were in England trying to get yourself killed!”

“It matters because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone! I cannot lose you!”

“But I am supposed to lose you and be fine with it? I know you are planning to go back to England!”

That took him by surprise. “I…They killed my father! I have to go back to avenge his death!”

“Exactly!!!” I screamed at him. “As did I! I also had to avenge my father’s death! So what is the big difference?”

Ivar looked at me for a moment, before he growled. “You are mine!” As an afterthought he added: “Also, it seems like I get injured if you get hurt. So, you die, I die.”

I raised my eyebrows. “But that probably works the other way around as well!”

Ivar had become quieter and quieter. Now he looked at me, eyes wide with simple fear. “So…you don’t know what is happening to us?”

I calmed down instantly. Shook my head. Looked him in the eyes. “I don’t. Your mother was the only one who might have known.”

His face fell and he shook his head. “I cannot believe that my mother and father are both dead.”

I took a step toward him, still hesitant, still not sure how he would react. He looked up to me, his eyes glinting with moisture. When I was close enough, he took my wrist. His grip was painfully hard on my skin, as he tugged me toward him. His other hand took hold of my upper arm and he pulled me down onto the bed with him. His lips found mine before I could say or do anything, the kiss forceful and possessive. He pushed me down beneath him and shoved my dress and underskirt up to my hips, pushing it further up, until he had me pinned beneath him, dress up around my waist. I felt exposed until he kissed my stomach, his hands gliding beneath the folds of the fabric to my breasts. I wanted to protest, but I couldn’t find the words.

“Ivar…”

He growled as he bit into the flesh just beneath my right breast, then kissed it.

“You are mine, Y/N, you will always be mine.”

I sighed, my hand gripping his hair that had become longer and a little shaggy. I liked it and gave it a tug.

“And you are mine, but you cannot just do with me as you please!”

Ivar looked up at me, across my upper body, his eyes like those of a feral animal.

“Then tell me you don’t want this!” he growled.

For a moment, we stared at each other, Ivar motionless above my naked lower body.

I made a frustrated sound and wriggled out of my dress all the way just to unceremoniously drop it over the edge of the bed. Ivar looked up and down my exposed body, then his eyes caught on the scar on my shoulder. He touched its twin on his own body and compared the two with wonder. I was just as fascinated by the scar he should not have, so I sat up and asked him to turn around. It really went through. Just like my shoulder, his had been pierced through, he had the same identical scar on the back of his shoulder that I had. I swallowed hard and looked into his eyes.

“Ivar…”, he looked back with concern, “I am scared.”

At that, he took me into his arms, his skin feeling comforting on mine.

“I am as well. Do you understand now why I cannot have you getting yourself in danger? I don’t want us to die. It is bad enough that I have to fight the English and risk your life.” He placed a kiss on the spot where my neck met my shoulder and I sighed.

“Let us not argue about this any more. I have missed you, my husband.”

“Well, you kept yourself busy, that much is clear.” He chuckled. “If you hadn’t broken your promise, I would be immensely proud of you, my earl.”

I kissed his jaw. “Tell me about your vision, how was it?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“If I am being honest, it scared me. Seeing you, seeing you in danger, it was bad. Father threw an empty cup at me, because I did not stop screaming.” He smiled, almost fondly.

I kissed the side of his cheek, gently tracing his cheek with my fingers, then placed a kiss on his pulse point. I could feel the life humming through his veins, the life he shared with me, and suddenly, I felt possessive, too. I nudged him down onto the furs and almost jumped him, kissing his jaw, his throat, his collarbone. Ivar dragged me onto him and was only happy when I straddled his waist. He looked up at me and his hands reached for my breasts. He kneaded them, then sat up to put his mouth around one of my nipples that already stood at attention. He softly bit down, sucked, making me moan as a shiver ran down my spine. He had talked about women with his father and he was all too eager to try his hand at some of the things his father had mentioned.

As he sucked my nipple, his hand massaged my other breast, pinched the other nipple. I took in a sharp breath.

His brothers were sleeping in the adjoining rooms, only divided from us by a curtain. I had heard Ubbe and Margarete often enough to know what positions Ubbe favoured, but I did not want the same notoriety. As I thought about that, I missed Ivars second hand drifting down and slipping in between my legs. Only when he touched me in my most sensitive spot, I gasped. He rubbed a little, moved his fingers back and forth, always gauging my reaction. He smiled when I bucked my hips forward as he touched me, before he quickly turned us around, lying above me, hand still between my legs. He kissed my lips shortly, then kissed down my midline, until he was just below my belly button. He looked up to me, as if asking permission, and when I gave a slight nod, he slipped further down, parting my legs and suddenly sucking on my clit. I almost squealed at the sensation, but bit my lip instead, my hip pressing upwards. I could feel Ivar hum appreciatively against my skin and the vibration almost drove me wild. His slight attempt at a beard didn’t look like much, but it teased me even further, when his lips explored a little further and he found my entrance. His tongue darted in and out of me a few times, making me grab at his hair. He took that as the right direction and inserted one of his fingers into me, as his lips found their way back to my clit. He pressed his tongue up against it, then licked along all the while moving his finger in me. He added a second finger, which was enough for now. He went back to sucking and his fingers fucked me faster than before, my hips meeting his pace. As his tongue once again lapped at me, my hips stuttered and in spite of my former promise to myself, I loudly moaned his name and tugged on his hair as I came.

My eyes fell closed for a moment, but when he came to rest beside me, I looked into his eyes. He beamed with pride and licked his lips. Then he kissed me with the fervour, I had missed. I could taste myself on his tongue and sighed into the kiss, making him chuckle.

“Did that feel good?” he asked mischievously.

I beamed at him and let him have the glory. “No, not good. Amazing.”

I had never seen the joy that spread across his face before, not on Ivar, and it made my heart jump a little.

“Gods, Ivar, I do love you.”

He chuckled and nuzzled his nose in the crook of my neck. But I was more interested in something else. I slowly let my hands wander across his body, felt his abdominal muscles contract beneath my fingers, until I reached the helm of his pants. I heard his breath catch, but he did not stop me, as my hand dipped into the front of his pants and touched his almost totally hardened member. My hands closed around his shaft and started to move gently back and forth and I could hear the change in Ivar’s breathing. He did feel something. His hips started to move in time with my slow strokes, became a little more demanding after a while, as I felt his prick harden a little more. He moved with me and after a while I let my finger swipe over the tip and then pump him a little faster. Ivar’s breathing became eratic until the movement of his hips stopped and he gave it one violent snap of his hips and shuddered. There was only a few driplets, but Ivar still seemed content and happy. It wasn’t much in the way of a climax, but it was more than nothing. I looked at his face a little worried.

“Did I make you feel something?” I asked him, shyly.

He smiled back at me. “You always make me feel something.” He gave me a kiss.

“No, I mean… did that… did that feel good for you?”

He sighed, then hummed contently. “Yes, yes, that felt very good. One could even say…amazing.” A cheeky grin spread across his face, when I looked at him a little outraged, and his eyes only sparkled with humour, before he kissed me again.

“Y/N, I will never have sex like other people do, but this? This was enough. For once, pain has not been the predominant thing I have felt and that means a lot.”

I smiled a little smile. “Yes?”

“Yes.” He chuckled in my ear. It was one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. It was a pity that I would not hear it for years to come.

[shinrasfirst]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main story?  YES / NO. (I mean? I’m not sure? I hope he will be more important, but as it is, he could have been cut out of Part 1 of the remake.)

Were they relevant to the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. (Except that he kinda saved him.. I can’t answer these questions, I am so biased.)

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO. (?)

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. Depends on who you ask, I’d say!

How strictly do you follow canon?

There isn’t much canon to go on, first of all. I am taking what I can get and expand on it. There’s probably some stuff about him that I don’t know, because I am notoriously bad at researching things properly, and also I forget stuff. So.. he’s canon-based as much as possible, but then majorly fleshed out by my own ideas because otherwise he’d be a very two-dimensional character.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.

He’s wild and fun and crazy and could make for some interesting threads---

He is actually compatible with a lot of muses because he technically works for Shinra, but then doesn’t seem to give a lot of fucks about his employment status, meaning he can also work with the other side without me having to change his setting much.

He’s gorgeous. Look at him.

He is flirty and easy to smut with.

He has a completely unknown backstory that could be explored c;

Did you see that ass?

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  

He’s a bit nuts. If you’re looking for a predictable, soft, sweet romance or friendship, he is not your guy.

He'll probably die young. And there shall be angst and pain.

I’ve seen some people really reduce him to a maniac to lives on the road to attack random people. If that’s your idea of Roche then I am sure you wouldn’t be looking for threads with him~

He is tough to write love/romance with. Like proper romance.

He has a completely unknown backstory.. so my version might differ greatly from what you have in mind.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  

I played the Remake and driving on those motorcycles was insane but kind of fun - and then shows up this guy who just drove right into my heart as soon as he popped up on the screen, laughing like a mediocre villain from YuGiOh. I thought that was all it was going to be, but I was thrilled to see that it wasn’t. I just love this character. I rewatched his fight scenes with Cloud a hundred times. He is so.. peculiar. I just couldn’t stop thinking about him, and then I saw a bit more of him on tumblr, fanarts and such, and I wanted to give it a shot :)

What keeps your inspiration going? 

New headcanons about him that pop into my head. Finding other people who love him and talking to them & rping with them! Like with all muses, I tend to love them even more the longer I play them, compared to when I start out, because new stories around them develop, I get a clearer image of their character and backstory in my head, and new plans for their future :) On a more to-the-point level: quotes, poems, music, images, all those things give me inspiration. Also similar characters in other media, or stories that fit Roche and that I can recycle and reform into part of his.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO. According to whom? I am alright with the way I write him, or I’d be doing it differently. Would Square Enix think I am doing a good job? Idk. Do other Roche rpers think I am? Idk. Does it matter? As long as there are people who enjoy writing with my version of him, I am doing my job, I think :) There are Roche portrayals I find “better” than mine in some ways, more developed, but I don’t really compare myself in that way. 

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO.  

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO. Yes and now because while I stand to the way I write all my muses, Roche in particular is one I haven’t fully developed yet. There are things about his story I am still unsure about or have no clear ideas for yet. So, I’m not feeling insecure when I write him, but I am not overly confident in throwing him in any situation, because something might come up that’ll require me to think harder that I’d have to while playing.. e.g. Rufus.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. I’m no Rowling, I’m no Tolkien, I know that. But I think my writing is alright. I try to put some internal thoughts in my replies, describe the scene abit, offer some dialogue if applicable, and move the action forward. I am not writing a book here, I am writing something interactive, so my partner is my main concern aside from telling the story. I do feel like I’m doing an okay job at that, so in that sense I am confident in my writing.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. I’m not entirely sure what this is referring to, but generally I’d say no. I can deal with most topics, it’s pretty hard to offend me, I’m open to most things, and there are very few issues I feel like they can’t be solve with just talking about them.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

It depends? I almost never get constructive criticism. What I absolutely accept is things like.. someone correcting mistakes I’ve made in terms of timelines or canon facts, because I am lazy by default and tend to not research something well and just wing it. So it might be that I’ll put some fake news into my threads that I have no problem with if someone corrects - actually, please do, I’ll gladly fix it. (Especially if they’re relevant to your muse.)

If someone dislikes a headcanon of mine or something that is particular to my portrayal of Roche, that’s really not something I aspire to change. I have my ideas of him and everyone else has their own. If a friend came to me and told me a certain headcanon of mine makes no sense because of the canon storyline or whatever, and it sounded valid to me, I’d consider that. That wouldn’t offend me. If someone just told me they dislike an idea I had, that is the kind of criticism I don’t really accept. That’s not criticism to me, that is a personal opinion that we disagree on. It’s not my problem if someone dislikes my portrayal, they don’t have to interact with it. I take no offense in that, unless it’s reported to me in a rude manner.

With regard to my writing? I don’t ask for criticism and I don’t really want it either. I know what areas I have to work on in order to improve, I don’t need anyone to give me pointers there. I have enough of that in my academic papers at university ;) This is a hobby, so I’m trying to have a good time and good plays with others, I’m not trying to win any awards. However, if I post a reply my partners aren’t sure how to work with (e.g. they need more dialogue, or more action) I am absolutely willing to edit it, no problem. Also, not just on tumblr/in the RPC but in general, people are really really REALLY bad at giving constructive criticism. It never ceases to amaze me how much people suck at that. Like I said, I don’t get offended easily, but it makes me laugh sometimes (e.g. after presentations at uni) how horrible the feedback comes across sometimes. And then everyone gets butthurt and I once again marvel at the fact that no lecturer ever gives advice on how to give good feeback. (I guess because a lot of lecturers can’t do it either.)

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  

Absolutely! It helps a lot. Sometimes it’s a real challenge, but those are necessary and very welcome while developing a character. Other people often think of things I didn’t even consider, so I welcome it when they come into my askbox with these questions :)

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? 

Maybe? If it was a friend or an rp partner, I’d hear them out for sure. If it was someone I don’t even write with.. maybe not. Like, what’s the point? Clearly I made up my mind about it, so why would you come to me to inform me that you see it differently? Go right ahead, neither one of us writes these games, so both our versions are equally right or wrong. If it’s about something that could lead to an interesting discussion, though? I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

I'd say some people like chocolate ice cream and some like vanilla. That’s okay. I’m not trying to please everyone on tumblr, I’m here to write what I want to write and if just one other person likes my portrayal, that can be enough for me :) If someone dislikes my portrayal, they’re free not to interact with me.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  

I’ve written more characters that were absolutely despised by a good chunk of the fandoms I was in, than characters who were loved, I think. I couldn’t care less. If someone hates Roche - or any of my muses - that’s their thing and has nothing to do with me. As long as they don’t feel the need to inform me about it or send me hate over it, what’s it to me? I don’t need people to like my favorite characters, it has no influence on how I feel.

But also.. why would you hate Roche? Look at him, he’s amazing :D

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  

Sure. English isn’t my first language, I’m sure I make mistakes all the time. I’m not embarrassed by that, everyone makes mistakes, even people whose first language is English. That being said, don’t go weeding through my posts looking for mistakes, because I won’t go back and fix them in most cases, so it’s really a waste of time~

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

I think so. I’m pretty relaxed most of the time, and I try to be polite and kind in any situation that comes up. I don’t get offended unless you’re accusing me of something I didn’t do, twist my words, insult my friends, or act like a total brat. Before I start a war with someone, I’ll usually withdraw myself from the situation. I am pro-unfollowing/blocking if I dislike someone. I would never send anon hate or write a call out. I’m not here for that. I think we should all try to be kinder than we feel, we should all show respect for others and tolerate differences, and we should try to treat people the way we want to be treated. Live and let live.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by:  stole it. Tagging: anyone who’d like!

[phdna]

I watched Endgame at last and I have so many incoherent feelings

Overall? Incredibly entertaining and full of easter eggs that will last me a while. I had all spoilers tags blacklisted until yesterday, so I don’t really know what everybody is saying, but from what I’ve gathered from my dash after watching the movie, it seems most of tumblr hated it. I get it because I’d have done a lot of things differently. But while it’s not a perfect movie, I don’t think it’s as bad as people are acting like it is. Especially working with the premise “Marvel needs to realistically get rid of most of its superheroes because the actors won’t play them forever, but just killing everybody off in battle would be kinda repetitive,” I think they did remarkably well. It’s a 3 hour movie and it felt like half an hour. If Marvel ENTERTAINMENT entertains, I think they’re doing okay

I’m too dumb to get time travel shenanigans so I’ll have to watch it at least one more time to make sure I really get it. Having said that: comics primed me to enjoy stuff I don’t understand or even stuff that straight up don’t make any sense, so I’m not as bothered by potential inconsistencies as other fans are... but having said that, I lost track of what year the MCU is in. Especially because of Peter’s classmates. But it’s not like Marvel in any of its branches is particularly sensible about timelines, so I’m not surprised. I do pity fic writers who have to untangle it all, though!

I cried. A lot. I’d say it was embarrassing, but pretty much everybody in the room was crying too. I knew it was going to be emotionally taxing, but woah. Going home with swollen eyes was not something I expected. I cried watching CATWS but not even half as much as I did watching AE.

Best part of the movie was the “post-credits scene,” if that’s what we’re calling it. Project that on my tombstone when I die. So beautiful.

The female Avengers scene was super satisfying but if Marvel doesn’t follow through with having more representation, I’m gonna riot

Speaking of representation, sorry, Marvel, it was touching but I’m not counting that guy as “the first openly LGBTAQ character in the MCU.” The bar may be low af, but it’s still not THAT low, come on

I wish Tony had gotten his happy ending but I’ve always known they’d kill him off at some point as a way to permanently take the character off the universe, and if he had to go, I can’t think of a better way. It was brilliantly acted and directed, bookended the entire Infinity Saga, highlighted just how much of a hero Tony is, and was generally iconic. It also forces the MCU to look beyond Tony’s story and find a new universe protagonist, which is something I’m looking forward to.

Steve... it’s complicated. I’m still processing how this affects the universe, but on a character level, it actually makes a whole lot of sense. Steve’s character arc is, I’d argue, about learning he’s got nothing to prove, and Cap’s is about learning he doesn’t owe his life to the Greater Good. Having him choose living a happy life - just that, no bells and whistles - is a smart call. I’m not fully sure I can imagine Steve sticking to it (Steve Rogers keeping out of trouble? As if!), but it was either that, have Chris Evans work for Marvel for the rest of his life (which he won’t do, let’s face it - he doesn’t enjoy all the fame that comes with it), or kill Steve. But Steve has chosen to die plenty of times, so killing him would be more of the same. On a meta level, it works, but like I said, I'm still connecting the dots, so I’m not as sure about his ending being good as I am about Tony’s

I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about Thor. That’s it. I’ll rewatch it and let y’all know.

Marvel never could make me care much for MCU Clint, so I didn’t really care for his arc this time either. I don’t dislike it, I’m just not invested

NAT. I wish she hadn’t died (both because she deserves better and because Marvel doesn’t have enough women), but it’s beautiful how she was raised to kill people and to have no relationships, but her death is about saving people without having to kill somebody else, and being Very Definitely Loved. But it disturbs me that Gamora and Natasha, two strong women trying to escape their bloody past, get killed off in basically the same way, while the strong men who try to escape their bloody past...... actually escape their bloody past.

Thanos was a worthy opponent. If you spend 22 movies hyping up a villain, it’s hard to deliver, but their ultimate battle against him was breath-taking. Super exciting in an “I feel like a kid playing with her superhero toys” way the MCU doesn’t always manage to do. One of the best parts of the movie imho

This is already waaaay too long so I’ll probably end up having to write another post later, but before I forget: “I love you 3000″ was such a clever line because a ton is 2000 pounds, and that’s the kind of thing a brilliant kid might say. It says so much about Morgan’s bond with Tony - that they love each other and that even as a kid she has his wit - in such a quick exchange. I was very much impressed!!!

I’m so curious about how the next GotG movie is gonna go!!!!!!!

Okay, I still have a lot to say but I’ll stop here and write more later

[natsthinkitythinkthinkthonk]

Top Five Yuki Kaji Roles

Just starting this, I know I’m going to be leaving out a bunch. To be fair, he has too many (good) roles. Sometimes he doesn’t fit the role (which is the fault of the casting director), but I think he does a good job with whatever he plays.

Not going to lie, this list is influenced by: - How much I liked the series as a whole - Casting decisions - Character development (how much I liked the character) - Other things that have to do with my personal opinion

In this list, I will also not be including any series that I haven’t watched. An exception in this list is Attack on Titan because I have watched a lot of Eren’s pivotal scenes, and I feel like (even though I avoid the horror genre), he still deserves a spot here.

Due to me not watching all the anime he’s in, I will just list the shows that won’t be included on this list because of this reason alone: Haikyuu (Kenma), Guilty Crown (Shuu), High School DxD (Issei), Donten ni Warau (Soramaru), Servamp (Kuro), Black Butler (Finnian), Black Bullet (Rentarou) Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure (Kouichi). 

I also won’t even be mentioning Ao Haru Ride. I don’t like Kou. Voice didn’t match, anime wasn’t my thing, etc. I cringed too much watching that anime. That is all. 

Honourable Mentions:

Walker Yumasaki (Durarara!!)

Ironically, this character is an otaku. He’s so goofy, and I remember hearing his voice and going, “I recognize him.” And considering the fact that I watched Durarara before I really got into voice actors, that’s quite something. He makes a lot of pop culture and anime references, and I can respect that. Walker and his partner in crime Erika are a very iconic duo.

Ayato Kirishima (Tokyo Ghoul)

We just went from a one to a ten, didn’t we? Well, that’s voice actor range. I hated this casting decision at first. I thought that it was bad and wanted nothing to do with that. I eventually did change my mind. Could they have done better? Yeah, but I eventually grew to like it (love is too strong a word).

Naoya Nifuji (Wotakoi)

Back to the pure, are we? Ironically, Kento Itou (who plays Hirotaka) is born in 1988 (according to the Idolmaster Wikia while Yuki Kaji is born in 1985. Anyway, Naoya (sometimes called “Nao-chan” is honestly such a pure kid. He’s kind of bad at video games, but he gives it his all for the sake of others. Watching him just makes you want to give him a pat on the head. His innocence and purity are definitely exemplified by Yuki Kaji who nailed this role despite being a supporting character this time.

Sonic (One Punch Man)

RIP Sonic’s ballsack. Okay, but seriously, that scene was painfully hilarious with emphasis on the pain. He did a good job portraying it (along with Madhouse’s animation which just added the absolute torture on his face along with the jiggle). I thought this didn’t standout voice-wise at first, but I rewatched the scene a few times and have had the whole thing grow on me... as horrid as it was. Here’s the scene.

Meliodas (Seven Deadly Sins)

Okay, this is partially because I didn’t like the Seven Deadly Sins. Ban is a much better character than Meliodas. I didn’t like Meliodas as a character, but it was no denying that he had a good voice actor backing him. Meliodas’ English counterpart was none other than Bryce Papenbrook (who I don’t like). Go figure, I think he portrays the perverted hero quite well even if I don’t like him.

TOP FIVE

5. Shion (No. 6)

I have so many thoughts on this anime that need to be saved for another time. Shion is one half of the dystopian duo (*cough* SHIP SHIP SHIP *cough*). He’s an intelligent sheltered kid at first, but then he gets wrapped into stuff that’s way bigger than him. Shion has a painful “Eren-like” transformation scene. Every protagonist has to experience pain on a large not-human scale, right?

4. Shouto Todoroki (Boku no Hero Academia)

Who can forget that Shouto vs Deku fight? That was full of epicness. I was almost jumping in my seat when I watched it. The “Handcrusher” isn’t always the most perceptive socially (same), but he has so much power... as long as he gets his sleep. He might not have the most emotional range, but he does have a lot of good moments. It weirdly took a while for this role to set into place for me, but now he’s one of my favourite characters.

3. Eren Jaeger (Attack on Titan)

*intense screaming* Yeah, that’s kind of this role in a nutshell. “I will kill all the Titans even though I am one!” It’s not every day where you see a bunch of giant nudists eating smaller clothed what people. There are too many scenes that Yuki Kaji has crushed in this series, and this is probably his most iconic role. He does a lot of stuff to support the show too which I respect. Get ready for season three people!

Bonus:

2. Yukine (Noragami)

Okay, Yukine is already dead, but you can tell that the little dude has been through a lot. Give him a break. He’s kind of witty and childish at times, but a lot of people don’t seem to like this character. This is partially because of how he was introduced to the series. He was bratty at first, but guys, look at his circumstances and where he’s coming from. He lives with a guy who doesn’t pay him. The guy he works for can do whatever he wants and experience little pain whereas he thinks one dirty thought and everyone goes wild at him. Yuki Kaji portrays the emotional pain of this character so well. That’s partially what I missed in the dub. He weirdly has a lot of youth in his voice despite being so old (I think anything over 30 is old). He really put his all into this role, and I really like Yukine and what Yuki Kaji did with this character, and I can’t stress that enough.

Here are some seiyuu event clips. The slipper incident is infamous. Miyuki Sawashiro is a legend for starting that. The cleansing scene was epic and a pivotal moment for Yukine’s character. The last one is a live voice acting session of that scene (Slippers Incident) (Cleansing Scene - Cast Comments) (screaming in real life)

1. Alibaba Saluja (Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic)

It’s kind of hard to find people who have: 1. Watched this show 2. Watched it subbed But if you have, I commend you. I have watched both seasons and reads a couple arcs of the manga (I’m still about a hundred chapters from finishing the whole series). I’m really bad at explaining how much I love this character/role and why, but I’m going to try. If you don’t get it (or even if you do), go watch the show. It’s one of my favourites to this day. Alibaba is one of my favourite shounen protagonists. He’s goofy, makes honest mistakes, and tries his best. He’s similar to Naruto in ways, but I prefer Alibaba because he’s so much more relatable, and he has logic. According to his weaknesses, he gets fat easily. But anyways, this character has been through a lot. He has lost so many people along the way, and his life is a rollercoaster with him just grabbing on and hoping for the best. Yuki Kaji makes me laugh when the story’s funny and moves me when the story’s emotional. He makes the character who he is, and when I read the manga, I still read it in his voice. I can’t see it any other way. I love this character a lot, and I wouldn’t have anyone else voice him. As much as the dub is good, I refuse to watch it dubbed because I have so much attachment to the Japanese voice cast. This was the first non-Pokemon/Yu-Gi-Oh anime I watched. I have a massive soft spot for it. Can I just add how it also does a great job with its female characters? Morgiana is one of my favourite anime characters of all time. Here are some funny moments (part 1) (part 2) Here’s the seiyuu event subbed (part 1) (part 2)

[florrickandassociates]

Don’t really have much to say about Sharp Objects (it’s good but that’s all I‘ve got lol) but I’ve been moving on through my tgw rewatch and I want to talk about tgw with someone! So I was wondering what are your favorite relationships (romantic and otherwise) on the show? What’s your favorite season? What’s your biggest praise for the show and your biggest criticism?

Don’treally have much to say about Sharp Objects (it’s good but that’s all I‘ve gotlol) but I’ve been moving on through my tgw rewatch and I want to talk abouttgw with someone! So I was wondering what are your favorite relationships(romantic and otherwise) on the show? What’s your favorite season? What’s yourbiggest praise for the show and your biggest criticism?

So before I get in to my (very delayed) reply, just want tomake sure that all my followers are aware of @hermione-mak-gilmore‘s awesome TGW rewatch posts,which you can find here.

My thoughts, rambling and not proofread as ever, are under the cut. 

FavoriteRelationships:

Romantic: Diane and Kurt and no others. Okay, that’s a lie.I think TGW had a lot of compelling and well-developed romantic relationships,even if Diane/Kurt is the only pairing I would say I ship. If I expand my thinking to include romantic relationshipsthat were written well enough to elicit strong feelings and many, manythoughts, I have to mention both Alicia/Will and Alicia/Peter. Just look at thelayers in Will’s Decision Treesequence, or the subtle shifts in their relationship over the years, or theconflicting feelings of season three, or (oh my goodness) any of Alicia’sthoughts after Will’s death (excluding season 7 because season 7 doesn’t dothem justice lol). And for Alicia/Peter, every time the two of them discusstheir family or politics, I see why they’re drawn to each other, and every timethey fight, I see just how much history and baggage they have.

Not romantic: Alicia and Cary’s always underdevelopedpartnership, Alicia and Diane’s complicated friendship (and the power dynamics!And the paranoia!), Alicia and Eli’s mutual respect that turned into afriendship, Alicia and Kalinda (don’t get me started), Cary and Clarke’sfriendship, Diane and Cary (they’re so alike but never seem to be able to workwell together!), DIANE AND WILL’S PARTNERSHIP (that one gets to be in allcaps), Diane and Kalinda (I don’t think we ever got enough of them together),Eli and Peter, Kalinda and Will, Kalinda and Robyn, and probably every othercombination of characters.

Favorite Season:

My personal favorite season is probably season six but I’llbe the first to admit it’s not the best season (and that it is in factinfuriatingly terrible at many points). Instead of ranking the seasons I’mgoing to make a pro/con list for each of them…

Season 1:

Pros: Everythingis so simple yet effective! I love, love, love the structure and pacing of theseason (Alicia/Cary’s competition). The small moments are priceless, and everycharacter’s personality (especially Alicia’s) is well-established. And when Ilook back at season one, I can see all of the groundwork being laid for thetone/humor/style that’s become TGW’s signature.

Cons: It feelslike a first season. If this aired today and not in 2009, I’m not sure I would’vecut some weak early episodes as much slack as I did when I first watched. ThePilot is great (clichéd at times, but great) but it’s not until, what, episode14? That the show finds its footing. That’s a lot of time to invest in a showthat’s a mixed bag. There are lots of weak episodes (Unorthodox, I’m looking at you) and storylines (Peter’s retrial andall the conspiracy surrounding it).

Season 2:

Pros: Season 2contains Nine Hours, which is stillone of the best hours of TGW, as well as HamSandwich and that run of episodes from InSickness to Closing Arguments. Ifseason 2 were just its best episodes, it would easily be one of my favoriteseasons. But…

Cons: It alsocontains a bunch of filler episodes I can barely remember, a few too manypolitical plots about viral videos, and the nonsense that was Blake Calamar(and that never-ending hotel scene in NetWorth). Oh, and I’m here for the drama but Peter never slept with Kalindalol nope I don’t buy it.

Season 3:

Pros: It has somereally great standalone episodes.

Cons: It has somereally terrible episodes and subplots. Alicia’s wig. A general lack ofdirection that makes even enjoyable subplots seem meaningless and distracting.

Season 4:

Pros: Everythingfrom The Seven Day Rule to What’s in the Box? is some of thestrongest material ever on the show. The introduction of memory pops!

Cons: Beginning ofKalicia ban, NICK SAVARESE’S EXISTENCE, Mandy Post Idiot Reporter (yes she getsa mention), deeply boring cases and plots in the first half of the season, someweird stuff for the Florrick kids.

Season 5:

Pros: HITTING THEFAN. THE DECISION TREE. A FEW WORDS. DRAMATICS, YOUR HONOR. THE LAST CALL. Idon’t think any other season has as many pivotal, perfect episodes. And seasonfive has the strongest structure of any season (season one is a close second)with its five episode arcs that make you forget the bad, slow episodes becausethere’s always a great, dramatic episode in the near future. Season five makesthe most of four seasons of worldbuilding. It’s smart and exciting and dramaticand it still feels like almost everything is motivated by character developmentrather than a need for plot (see: office politics in the later seasons, or howclumsily Bond is introduced at the beginning of season two). Also thescore!!!!! Season five is the year the score becomes truly incredible.

Cons: Some of theseason five episodes are weak, y’all.We, The Juries is terrible, and thatepisode and Goliath and David were acomplete waste of time (but we got Thicky Trick out of the latter so it canstay). Most of the episodes that aren’t the big ones are similarly weak. TheKalicia ban continues, and unlike in season four, Kalinda’s material reallysuffers as a result. It feels like she has a nude scene in most episodes. Andthen the last run of episodes in the season has its moments, but most of it isjust… directionless and not very good. You can tell the writers were building to 5x15 and then had to scramble tofind new directions in its aftermath.

Season 6:

Pros: The writers’dedication to exploring Alicia’s journey and how she’s changed over the years.The beginnings of the Cary arc. Some good material for Kalinda (and some badmaterial but I’ll get to that). Prady is a perfect opponent for Alicia. Johnnyis a great addition to the cast. Some really great Alicia/Peter moments andfights.

Cons: The Debate. The separation of the leads,which probably happened because of (ugh) the Kalicia ban (UGH). Not only arethe leads separate from each other, they’re separate in glaring ways. It’s notsimply that Alicia’s off running a campaign (a very good reason she might notbe interacting with Kalinda day to day)… it’s that Alicia’s running a campaignbut her law partners have no opinions about it, until they suddenly do, butthen they suddenly don’t again. How am I supposed to be invested in interpersonaldrama when they aren’t laying groundwork? Season five used up so much of thegroundwork laid previously that the show needed to take a minute to reset andplay out its new conflicts before rushing into more dramatic storylines.Instead… Diane’s at the firm now, Alicia’s running for SA, Cary’s in jail, and thefirm’s somehow back at LG (and somehow hasbecome LG by the end of the season). I don’t think season six contains manybad ideas, it just doesn’t juggle its ideas well. A better version of seasonsix wouldn’t just give us great Alicia episodes, it would use conflicts at theoffice and the way the other characters view Alicia’s campaign to add another layer.I personally didn’t have any trouble figuring out why Alicia was running for SAbut I know that’s been a top objection to s6, and I understand where it comesfrom. A better arc—one that forced Alicia to explain her motivations to othersand devoted more time to Alicia developing policies and meeting voters andvolunteers—would’ve given me more of the character development I love and helped to make the arc succeed forothers.

Season 7:

Pros: Lucca Quinn.

Cons: Everythingthat is not Lucca Quinn. But seriously: there are a few things other than LuccaI like (the first few episodes where it seems like the writers are slowing downand re-establishing a status quo, Driven,Alicia’s breakdown in Judged, Party, the idea of ending the show witha slap, and the song “Better”), but mostly, I don’t like season 7 at all. Peterrunning for President is flat-out stupid, and an unforced error. Alicia’s wigSUCKS. Diane and Cary are off in silly plots until Alicia and Lucca(illogically, because of an uncharacteristically stupid thing Alicia does!)somehow wind up back at LG (or LAL, whatever, it’s LG). Ghost Will in thefinale is… not good (use Josh Charles, I don’t care, but bringing back Will inthat particular way is just fanservice). Peter’s trial at the end of the showis convoluted and I’m pretty sure the story changes from episode to episode.There are also some unnecessarily ridiculous reveals, like Peter sleeping withGeneva (no) and Kurt sleeping with Holly (very no). But my biggest problem withthe Peter-trial-arc is that it’s a repeat of the emotional beats from the endof season six. Season seven should not undo all of season six just so it can (poorly)attempt to do it over again. After seven seasons, it comes down to… Aliciabeing devastated over the voicemail (UGH) and Peter doing something sketchythat forces Alicia to play Good Wife again? Really? It’s like the writers chosethe easiest paths for creating drama (voicemail) and demonstrating growth (then/nowcontrasts). I don’t blame the writers, though, for how bad season seven is. It’sbecome increasingly apparent to me that CBS was fucking around with the show inseason seven: they rushed BrainDead to air like a month after TGW ended, whichmeant the Kings were probably spending most of their time staffing/writingBrainDead while they were working on s7 (they only wrote two episodes—the premiereand the finale). And as if that wasn’t enough, I didn’t believe it at the time,but I truly think CBS was hoping to renew the show for a Kings-less seasoneight. If that’s the case, then it makes sense that season 7 couldn’t take manyrisks and would have to get back to being a fun, simple workplace proceduralwhere all the characters worked at the same firm. So by the time the writerslearned the show was actually in its final season—despite the fact they’d beenplanning on seven seasons for years!!—it was too late to do anything other thantack on a rushed and repetitive arc to close out the show.

Biggest Praise(s):

·        ALICIA FLORRICK. I love Alicia more than I’veever loved any fictional character. That’s partially because of what she’s likeand largely because of how well, and consistently, she’s written.

·        A commitment to being realistic. I’m not sayingeverything the show’s ever done is realistic, but the writers were clearlyalways interested in creating realistic characters who lived in a realisticworld. I appreciated that the show acknowledged systemic, structural problems(within politics, criminal justice, workplaces, etc) and that it was alwaysaware of prevalent stereotypes and the importance of appearances. I think thatwhen people look back on TGW, it’ll be seen as one of the most accuraterepresentations of what the world was like in 2009-2016.

·        Casting, costuming, set decoration, and scoring.

·        Memory pops!

Biggest Criticisms:

When I rewatched season three (between seasons five and six)I said there were three main problems with the show that were especiallyapparent in season three. I’ll say them again here, and add one more.

·        Sprawl: Sometimes the show tries to do too much andit simply doesn’t have the bandwidth.

·        Bad pacing: 22 episodes is a lot. Oftentimes itfeels like the writers write BIG EPISODES and filler episodes, with no middleground. If the filler episodes were instead build-up episodes, the big episodeswould be even better and there’d be less filler.

·        Loss of focus on Alicia: When the show focuseson its central character, it’s less likely to turn into a sprawling,poorly-paced mess. My thinking is that if the writers focused more on Alicia,they’d have to be more deliberate about how they write the characters aroundher (to make the most of their screentime and establish their wants and beliefsso their interactions with Alicia are as meaningful as possible).

·        Since I came up with the criticisms above, theshow’s aired two full seasons since my original post (and I think I came upwith these criticisms before I even made that post), plus two full seasons of aspin-off, AND I STILL HAVE THE SAME DAMN PROBLEMS.  

[clairen45]

Thank you so much for you bird meta, I used to compare Porgs to Ewoks, now I love 'em! I'd really love to have your insight on two matters I came upon rewatching Kylo scenes in TFA 1) did he know he was going to kill Han all along (and play his dad with the "will you help me?" speech?) or wasn't his mind made until the last second? 2) Did he sense Rey before he was told about her? Otherwise why ask for BB8 to be "unharmed" (metaphor for Rey?) and say "again" when feeling the pull to the light?

Dear Anon,

I am sorry it took me some time to answer your question… Thank you for the kind comments on the bird meta. I know Ewoks have their fans, but like you, it seems, I was never one of them. They were ok enough as a concept, and I see the point of having them to show a point about David and Goliath, guerilla warfare, and the fact that nature always wins in the end. I know they were also supposed to be cutesy and appeal to kids. I was a kid when the movie was originally relased and they never appealed to me. If anything they upset me. Plus, they are not so cutesy: they would have gladly eaten the whole crew had they had the chance. It’s not just Granola and Tree hugging, you guys, they are vicious hunters and carnivorous. As far as I am concerned they have four redeeming qualities:

they did a great makeover on Leia

I love their village (which also makes for the best Lego set honestly)

they introduced Warwick Davis to the world (I am a fan of Willow and I love that this actor is in every Star Wars movise since ROTJ. It’s like a Where’s Warwick game every time).

The Nub Yub song (which was outrageously deleted from the edited versions of the OT and turned into crappy Pan flute music)

And then there is the unspeakable: the Ewok movies they did afterwards. Brrrrr…. Talk about crappy spin offs! I know they want to forget about them, but they did, they did! So, no, for me, you can’t compare the Porgs and the Ewoks. I don’t think porgs are as intrusive as Ewoks were. And also, where porgs represent fertility and the resilience of life and love, Ewoks were evil cock-blockers. They were!!!! Items: trying to get Han’s attention away from Leia by cuddling with his leg, or jumping in in the middle of their kiss after the destruction of the Death Star. No, that’s not cute!

Now, back to your important questions. That is some heavy stuff!

1)Did he know he was going to kill Han, and was he playing cat and mouse with him? NO, to the N, to the O. I don’t believe it one minute. First, remember that he senses his father. He knows he is on Starkiller base. In one deleted scene, he even finds the MF. Is he tracking his father? Not really… He is more about looking for the girl. In the movie, we know he is aware his father is near him, because he turns his head in the direction of Han. Twice he pauses, when entering the structure, and then when passing by his father hidden behind a column. Does he go after him? No, far from it: he stomps away as far as he can… When his father calls him, he also pauses, not turning right away, as if debating…as if delaying as much as he can. He avoids the confrontation. I think he is probably scared of the outcome. By the way, love the symbolism of the bridge. It conveys the idea of a decision being suspended, not made, of a transition, of being caught in the middle. He hasn’t fully crossed the bridge yet, he is at the midpoint: it can go any place from there. Which to me is there to signify that the decision of killing his father has NOT been made. And I don’t think that he was toying with him either. He starts angry and aggressive, but, with the actual mask off, there falls also the psychological mask and the cool façade.

I believe everything about his pain and dilemma. This is a boy who has been requested to kill his father because he loved him too much and that it was seen as a weakness. He is not allowed any attachment. Take the important line: “[your son] was weak and foolish, like his father. So I destroyed him”. Killing his father is really more about killing himself, his feelings, his emotions, what Snoke views as abject sentimentalism. Han is the embodiment of sentimentalism. And we know that Kylo has not been able to suppress his emotions twice: when looking at Finn after the village massacre (which brought forth his feelings of guilt), and when meeting Rey (compassion, desire, curiosity). Meeting his father is the ultimate test in TFA, and a test where he miserably fails before and after the deed: he is unable to repress his emotions before and after killing his father. His face tells it all. And if it were not clear enough (apparently it wasn’t for a lot of people), Snoke was very vocal about the failure of the whole thing: ‘‘the deed split you to the bone”, “you have too much the heart of your father”. The whole line about “the seed lives” can also very much apply about Solo. Yes, Ben is the seed of the Jedi through his mother, but he is very much so the seed of his father. That’s actually the whole point of the “seed” reference. Han still lives through him, because he has not been able to kill his emotions, his feelings.

In th novelizations, especially the Junior one, they give us more clues about that. Both novelizations (adult and junior) insist on the fact that Ben has tears in his eyes during his conversation with his father. And in the adult version, we know this is no ploy: Kylo was not expecting to cry, the sensation seems unfamiliar and strange to him. In the adult version, though, Kylo seems more intent on looking after his father, trying to find his hiding place, “prepared for whatever might ensue”. Dark Kylo is still very much a topic. But in the Junior novelization, this is very different. Han is not sure whether his son saw him or not (which hints that maybe he did but chose to ignore), and then passes him by (instead of looking for him in the adult version). Emphasis is put on the sadness in Kylo’s eyes, which is actually the last vision Han has of his son, and his last vision before dying: a boy with sad eyes. Not cruel. Not victorious. The description of Kylo through Han’s eyes is also very reminiscent of someone who has been abused: “everything about him was narrow and stark, as if he had starved himself of nourrishment”. Kylo is like a member of a cult, or a sect, that has been brainwashed: such sects usually rely on sleep and food deprivation…

So, yes, this is a last second decision. As the light suddenly turning dark underlines. It’s like a cloud passing in front of the sun, something that curiously happened to Luke as well when debating about killing Kylo, two moments that are key in his arc, then. The fleeting moment when Luke hesitates but DOES NOT kill his nephew is what loses Ben, and turns him into Kylo, strong dark sider.. The fleeting moment when Kylo hesitates and KILLS Han is what weakens the dark sider. Interesting parallel.

2)Did he sense Rey before he was told about her? Otherwise why ask for BB8 to be “unharmed” (metaphor for Rey?) and say “again” when feeling the pull to the light?

I really hope we will eventually get the idea that he had visions of Rey before meeting her. It may have been distorted or partial. Or maybe it happened when he was a kid and he barely remembers. Rey’s Force vision was hinting at some prior knowledge, since we were supposed to get young Ben with Snoke (which they kept in the novelizations), and that in the movie Kylo’s figure is turning towards her twice. Of course, these could be visions of the future. And this is how we can tell that the visions are partial or distorted because there is no reason in the future for him to keep his mask. Of course, we know from Yoda, that the visions of the future are everchanging and Kylo, at the time, was intent on keeping his mask, so the future had not been altered yet… Anyways, there is someting eery about his reactions to “the girl”. Everyone caught up on that. And I think this eeriness is also a big part of what prompted the whole; she is his sister, his cousin, or what not… Because everybody got the idea that he had prior knowledge of her: “the girl I have heard so much about”. This is a weird line because honestly he has only heard talk about “a girl” twice in the movie: from Mitaka and from the stormtrooper saying that a girl was spotted in the forest… That’s not a lot of intel. It doesn’t come from Snoke either, because even if he starts talking about an awakening, he doesn’t mention a girl at all, and in TLJ he seems surprised that Rey is the opposite in the Force to Kylo. Kylo acknowledges Rey as the awakening when he sees her with the saber.. I doubt that they conducted an investigation on Jakku about the girl… It’s a possibility, but I doubt it. So it must be something else… Dreams, visions? Will we ever know? That’s the best possibility, though.

I like your idea of the parallel between Rey and BB8. Kylo does start looking for the droid, and yes, he wants it “unharmed”. To be honest,  there is no reason normally for the stormtroopers to be shooting at a droid, especially a rather innocuous BB unit (I know BB8 is bad ass, but still…). Shooting at the droid might damage the information it carries, so I understand he wants to minimize possible damages, but still, it is a weird way of thinking. And indeed the BB unit is off his mind as soon as he sees Rey. Admittedly because he knows she has seen the map, but before he retrieves this information from her head, it would have made more sense for him to be looking after the droid than the girl. Who would care about the girl? He does? He goes straight for her. And this substitution is weird enough that even Hux acknowledges it when Kylo is speaking to Snoke. This is unconventional. Of course, Kylo can rationalize by finding excuses such as “she has seen the map”, “she is strong with the Force” so potentially valuable, but the fact is that he strayed from the original mission.

As for the pull to the light, I am not suprised that he says “again”. I am sure that must have happened to him many times. It just becomes stronger because his coming to Jakku has triggered the dormant connection between him and Rey…

Thank you again for the questions! I hope I have covered them ok enough…

[drawingsanddrabbles]

Too Bad Santa’s Dead

Prompt: “Too Bad Santa’s Dead” (Bones s3e9)

I know, I know... A Jew writing a Christmas fic... I am confused about it myself. Anywho, here's a fic that was prompted from a line in a Bones episode from a rewatch and... and basically I wrote this in May. I wrote a Christmas fic in May and I'm a Jew so like... yeah. Join the confusion.

Anyway, Merry Christmas to all who celebrate and by the by Tim and Kon are aged-up to at least 18 because yeah.

ao3

“Dude, this sucks.” Kon said as he floated over the dead Santa.

“You know I’m an atheist, right?” Tim poked at the body and finished his oral report on the body and crime scene.

“Hey, I’m only part-Christian but that doesn’t mean this doesn’t suck.”

Tim rolled his eyes. “Santa isn’t real, Kon.”

“How do you know? I’m a clone of an alien and an evil corporate super-villain overlord. Santa could be real.”

“He’s not.” Tim snapped.

Kon recoiled. “Okay, it was just a joke.” Tim didn’t respond. Something had clearly upset Tim. Kon frowned, had Tim and Kon never had a conversation about Santa before? They’d known each other for years, not to mention that they’d been dating for around a year. Though, this would be their first Christmas together.

Did Tim hate Christmas?

Why did Tim hate Santa?

“Are you okay?” Kon asked as he floated.

Tim exhaled annoyedly (Kon knew that reaction well) and he stood. “I’m fine. Sorry for being snappy.”

“Are you sure?” Kon asked.

Tim pulled his mouth into a smile. “Yeah.” He was lying.

Which obviously meant that Tim wouldn’t tell Kon why and if Kon wanted to understand him better there seemed to be only one way to figure out why Tim hated the concept of Santa: ask the family. “I’ve gotten everything I’m going to get from the scene and I collected samples. Do you mind if we go back to the Cave so I can run tests?”

For once, Kon didn’t. “I’d love to go back. Want me to keep you company?”

Tim smiled, this time a real smile. “If you don’t mind.”

“Of course not.”

Dick’s first reaction was: “Someone killed Santa?”

Tim rolled his eyes. “Santa isn’t real, Dick. Someone killed someone dressed as Santa.”

“Uh huh.” Dick said. He leaned over to Kon and whispered, “Tim doesn’t like Santa.”

“Yeah, what’s that about?” Kon whispered back. Tim worked without sign of hearing them, they continued to whisper for Tim’s sake.

Dick raised an eyebrow. “He didn’t tell you?”

“Not that I can remember.”

Dick zipped his lips. “Not my secret to tell.”

“At least a hint?” Kon asked. “Help a boyfriend out.”

Dick looked at Tim, hesitated, then back at Kon: “It’s not just Santa, it’s also Christmas.”

“Wha-Really?” But Dick zipped his lips again. He walked over to Tim and rubbed his hair.

“See ya, kiddo.”

“Bye, Dick.” Tim raised an eyebrow. “What’re you doing all the way over there?” Tim asked Kon, just realizing how far away from Tim he was.

“Nothing, just thinking.”

“Sit next to me?” Tim asked.

Kon smiled and pulled up a chair next to Tim’s at the Batcomputer. He kissed his boyfriend on the cheek. “Sure babe.”

“EW!” Someone cried, seeing Kon kiss Tim. Tim rolled his eyes.

“I don’t ‘ew’ you when you kiss Cass.” He called to Steph who bounced over to Tim, resting her arms and head on Tim’s.

“That’s ‘cuz we’re gorgeous and there’s nothing to ‘ew.’ You on the other hand...”

“Hey!” Kon cried.

Steph grinned at him. “Not you of course, Kon. You’re just as gorgeous as us.” She winked at him.

“Stop hitting on my boyfriend.” Tim said, eyes never leaving the Batcomputer screens.

“Tim is gorgeous too!” Kon cried outraged.

“You only say that ‘cuz you’re his boyfriend, I’m his ex so I can say that he isn’t.”

“Thanks, Steph.” Tim said.

“You’re welcome.”

Tim switched to his crime scene pictures of the victim and frowned.

“Aw! Someone killed Santa?” Steph cried.

“Santa-”

“I know, I know, Santa isn’t real.”

“Who is not real?” Damian asked, Kon jumped out of his skin. He knew the gremlin was a ninja and all but like? Seriously? Damian hadn’t been there five seconds ago. He pushed Kon and Tim out of the way so he could see the case.

“No one you care about.” Tim said, pushing Damian so he could go back to his past position in front of the computer.

“Dami, see the red suit and the white beard? In our society that is a marker of a man named Santa Claus.” Steph explained.

“Santa Claus is imaginary.” Damian said.

“I can’t believe we agree on something.” Tim muttered.

Wait, Steph had dated Tim before… “Hey, Steph? Can we talk for a moment? Y’know, alone.”

Steph looked surprised. “Yeah, sure thing Hot Stuff. Step into my office.”

Kon stood and they began walking away from Tim when Damian said loudly: “If you are discussing sexual encounters with Drake, please walk farther from my earshot.”

“We’re far enough away that you can’t hear us, Kid!” Steph shouted at him. She turned to Kon, “what’s up?”

“Why does Tim hate Christmas?” He asked softly.  Steph glanced at Tim. “Please, Steph? Help a boyfriend out?”

“You used that exact line on Dick, didn’t you? And he didn’t tell you?”

Kon chewed on his lip. “Possibly…?”

“If Dick didn’t tell you, no way I’m telling you.” Steph said.

“Aw, please Steph?”

“The key to a healthy relationship is communication, Sunshine.” Steph said, patting him on the shoulder.

Kon sighed. “Whatever, thanks anyway.” He went back to Tim but Damian was sitting in his seat, conducting tests. “Dude, move.”

“Find another seat.” Damian snapped.

I can’t believe I’m arguing with an angry munchkin. Kon thought. Tim glared at Damian. He turned to Kon and stood, kissing him on the cheek. As if sensing his anger towards the little man, Tim suggested, “you know what, I’ll see you at home Kon, okay?”

“Are you sure?” Kon asked. He glowered at Damian but the youth ignored him. Tim nodded and Kon kissed Tim again and Damian rolled his eyes.

“Please take your possessive sexual activities somewhere else.” Damian said.

Kon was about to bite something back but Tim hit Damian on the back of the head and Damian growled something at him. Tim went back to the case and seemed to forget that Kon was in the room which was understandable, he always got that way when on a case. Kon guessed he’d go home then. He glanced back at the dead Santa on the screen and got an idea.

“No.” Tim said. Kon frowned, he hadn’t expected Tim to react so strongly. Tim stumbled backward, eyes staring. He tumbled into the wall, his gaze breaking. He turned and walked out.

“Tim?” Kon grabbed a robe, following him out into the cold Gotham night, “Tim, come back! If it bothers you that much I- Tim!” But Tim was nowhere to be seen.

Kon had fucked up. Kon had really, super duper, absolutely, indubitably, and terribly fucked up. Kon was about to jump into the air when a strong wind blew into Kon’s robe. Someone above him snorted. “Wow, trouble in paradise?”

Jason. Great. “Why are you here?”

“To stare at your wonderfully beautiful ass. Or maybe just to annoy Tim’s. I like to keep you heroes guessing.” Jason said. Kon was sure he was kidding.

Kon glared at him. He sat on top of Tim’s apartment building, mask on, leg hanging lazily over the edge of the roof. He looked Kon up and down, physically moving his mask to make sure Kon knew what he was doing. Kon looked down and closed his robe tighter (which probably wasn’t helping Kon’s modesty). “Are you here for a reason? Because if not, I have to go find my boyfriend and make sure he doesn’t want to kill me.” Kon grumbled.

“You really fucked up, didn’t you?” Jason shook his head. “Didn’t you know he has a thing about Christmas?”

“How did you know? You’ve tried to kill him.”

“Oh please, Krypto-Boy, we all have a thing about Christmas. For the demon-spawn and the mute it’s a detachment; they aren’t Christian, they never had a reason to love or want to love Christmas. Christmas was one of the only days Princess Eggplant’s dad was allowed to contact her, which didn’t always give her warm and fuzzy feelings. Not to mention a cheap Christmas and no presents, nothing that you want from Santa. And Dickiebird and Brucie? Well, being an orphan isn’t too fun on a family-centric holiday.”

He hadn’t known. Kon didn’t know what it was like, sure he was lonely and alone. Sure he didn’t know of a family before Tim and Bart and Cassie and Dubbilex and Jim and… but he had Ma and Pa, he had Kara and Clark and he had Lois. He had Christmas. They didn’t.

“And you? Tim?”

“Me? I was a street kid. Christmas meant cold, it meant pity charity from people too rich to care about me except for one fucking day of the year. Then? It meant Bruce and Dick and Alfred and family. And then? Then it meant nothing. But this is about Tim, and Tim? Tim wasn’t like us. Tim’s family wasn’t like any of ours. You’re never going to make Tim like Christmas. Tolerate it? Maybe. But like and love? Never. Just give up on that dream, don’t force him.”

“So? What do I do now?”

“So, you wanted to find out why? Ask him yourself clone. You want to accept that he just doesn’t like Christmas and he never will? Do that. It’s up to you now, Luthor-spawn, make the right choice.”

“Why are you here, Jason?”

Jason stood and brushed off his legs. “I heard Kris Kringle bit it, I thought I might have heard something, I was going to tip off the replacement, but clearly this isn’t the time. Go after him, Wannabe. He needs you.”

Kon nodded. He was about to take off again when Jason added, “and put on some pants. Maybe things are different in Metropolis, but in Gotham ripped dudes flying around wrapped as a Christmas present isn’t appropriate.”

Kon ran into the apartment he and Tim shared and changed, then he closed his eyes and followed the sound of his love’s heartbeat.

“Here, huh?” Kon asked, landing on the top of the Wayne Enterprises Tower.

Tim shrugged, his legs swinging off the edge of the roof. “I like being up high. How’d you find me?”

“It’s not hard, I know you. I know your heartbeat. And I know when I’ve clearly upset you.”

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-”

“No. It’s my fault. I knew you were upset about Christmas and Santa and I pushed it too far. I thought... I thought I could make it right. Give you some good memories. Clearly I was wrong.”

“Clearly.”

“Tim, please tell me: what I can do to make it right?” Kon asked. He sat down next to Tim. Tim stared out at the illuminated street below him.

“When, when I was three I learned about Santa for the first time.” Tim began slowly. “I was at pre-school and my teacher asked if anyone knew who Santa was. I was the only person in class who didn’t know. That night, that afternoon really, Mrs. Mac picked me up from school—Mom and Dad were in Africa for Christmas. I told Mrs. Mac about what I’d learned that day, about Santa, and she, and I’ll never forget this, she turned around in her seat with the most pitying look on her face and she said: ‘oh, Tim dear Santa isn’t real.’” Tim stared at his hands and inhaled shakily. “Just like that. To a three year old. I mean, I’d figure it out eventually, but really?” He paused before continuing. “I didn’t really believe her, not entirely. What my teachers and classmates said… it had to be real, I mean Batman was real so why not Santa, right? Well I waited up for him that night, after Mrs. Mac had gone to her family for the holiday, I stayed up. I stayed up and I made milk and cookies and I hid with my camera, a birthday present by the way, under the couch and I waited for Santa to come. And by morning Santa didn’t come, and there were no presents under my tree. And until Mom died that was my Christmas, alone in the house. When I turned five I started buying my own presents, Mom and Dad gave me the money of course, but I bought them. I wrapped them. I hid them under the tree. Christmas didn’t really seem so magical, and soon I just… stopped, all together. After all I could buy whatever I wanted with my parents credit cards whenever I wanted, what was the point of celebrating Christmas?” He finally stopped to breathe. The breaths were thick and his shoulders shook, his voice trembled. “So when you… I don’t want Christmas. I-I know you were trying to be helpful, but I just-I don’t want Christmas!”

“Okay.” Kon said. “No Christmas, promise.” Tears fell from Tim’s eyes and Kon wrapped him in a hug. “No Christmas. Promise.” He repeated.

Tim walked into the apartment on December 24th not expecting what he saw. But it didn’t make him walk out. “You-you cleaned the apartment.” He stated.

Kon grinned. He wore Tim’s favorite sweater for him (it was an S-Shield pattern that Ma had made for him one year) and the apartment was flawless. The mouth-watering aroma of Chinese food filled the air. A blanket lay across the couch and Tim’s laptop was plugged in, laying on top of it. The TV was on and ready to be watched. “What-what is this?” He asked, slightly overwhelmed by the sparkiliness of the moment.

“I figured, since you don’t like Christmas, how about we don’t do Christmas. How about we never do Christmas. Instead we do an ‘us’ night. We stay in, eat our favorite foods, pizza is on it’s way by the way, we marathon Wendy. We cuddle on the couch. Then, tomorrow we can go out on patrol or whatever you want to do.”

“An ‘us’ night?”

Kon nodded enthusiastically. “Unless, of course, you don’t want to. ‘Cuz then we don’t have to. I just thought… since I’ll never be able to give you good Christmas memories, what if we never had to worry about Christmas at all? Y’know do kind of a new holiday, just for us.”

“Just for us.” Tim repeated.

Kon nodded, trying to gauge Tim’s reaction. When Tim said nothing, Kon’s face fell. “Actually,” he said bashfully, “it’s stupid, we can just do nothing, I’ll just-”

“No!” Tim said, freezing Kon in his tracks. “No.” Tim said. “It’s perfect.”

“Really?”

“Yes. And very sweet.” He walked over to Kon and hugged and kissed him lightly.

“Um, excuse me?” A voice said from behind them.

The pizza guy had arrived. Kon paid him and took the pizza from him. He closed the door and Tim and Kon settled onto the couch. Wendy the Werewolf Stalker played and they began stuffing themselves with food. The night wore on until they were out of food and halfway through Wendy’s first season. Kon lay drowsily on Tim’s shoulder while Tim curled the blanket around his feet.

“Tim?”

“Hmm?” Tim asked.

“Where do you want to patrol tomorrow?” Kon asked, yawning.

“What if we... didn’t patrol?”

Kon frowned and sat up, looking at him. “But you love to patrol.”

“And you don’t, and I also love you. This is an ‘us’ day, right? So let’s do something we both like. Maybe head down to the arcade.”

Kon smiled and kissed Tim gently. “I love you so much.”

Tim smiled and laid his head down in Kon’s lap, stretching out on the couch, his legs hanging over the end. “I love you too.”