#i miss bertl

[hotrubbertar]

[teasel-backatitagain]

jean not being here for half of season 2 is killing me man

[pinkmirth]

i miss bertholdt :(

[manysketchbook]

Firffels: the Wuzzles Competitor That Disappeared

Recently, I found this toy at my local thrift store. I thought it was an oddly cute nativity toy, but upon closer inspection the tush tag read "FIRFFELS. I'm glad to be a SHAMEL." I did a quick search online and the first result was this page on Ghost of the Doll, a toy collector's site that archives information about 80s/90s toys and includes a forum where anyone can seek help with identifying toys. This lead me down a rabbit hole of figuring out just what Firffels were: a failed line of toys promised to be the next hot phenomenon, with minimal documentation online and a handful of toys floating around in thrift stores.

Other than Ghost of the Doll, I found info about Firffels in this 2010 blog post by Trish Babbles (written in an edgy, mean-to-be-funny style that I think is too uncharitable, but it was a different time to be online lol) and this blog post by AF Blog. My other info comes from Othello Bach's website dedicated to the book itself (her personal site is no longer functional) and from a handful of youtube videos I found of a Firffels commercial. Many thanks to these sources, without them there'd be like, nothing online about these creatures.

Firffels are based on the children's book Who ever Heard of a Fird? by Othello Bach, first edition published in 1984 by Caedmon Childrens Books (upon Googling, it appears that Caedmon is owned by HarperCollins now and focuses on audiobooks). The story follows Fird, a fish-bird hybrid, as he travels the world to find other firds. Along the way he encounters a goofy, lovable cast of other hybrid animals who have all never heard of a fird. The story ends with fird learning to love his uniqueness and find peace with being who he is. As is apparent in the Amazon link above (not sponsored, just showing my work), a used copy is $86 dollars right now. An audiobook narrated by Joel Grey (an actor that I'm unfamiliar with who is apparently known for his role in Cabaret) was also released on cassette, listed on Ebay for $75+. Luckily, there is a youtube video of someone doing a complete read through of the book, but the camera angle is poor. This is the only visual record I could find online of the interior illustrations by Michelle Dorman, other than a brief look at a few in a low quality VHS promo rip I'll get to in a minute, and the image below from an Ebay listing. There may be a few more photos in some Etsy listings that I missed.

In Trish's blog post they complain that Shamel is an ugly monstrosity and there were a few comments on Ghost of the Doll's forum of the same nature about Shamel, but I think Shamel is the cutest one! It just looks like a new breed of camel, meanwhile Fird in the background here is...he's so cartoonishly goofy. Idk how else to describe him. He's so fuckin' goofy. He'd make squeaky Spongebob-esque sound effects when he walks, I imagine.

The book was allegedly a hit and Remco bought the merchandising rights. They went all in, as is detailed in the 5 minute promotional video below. Based on a cast of 6 characters, plush toys and posable action figures hit the market with a promise that Hanna Barbera would develop an animated tv show starring Firffels, housewares would be made, there'd be a clothing line, and Design-a-Firffel contests would be held. A few housewares seem to have been made and plush toy sewing patterns were released, but I was unable to find evidence that anything else moved forward.

Absolutely fucking insane fact: according to this video, Caedmon Publishing was owned by Raytheon at the time. Thanks Raytheon for these cuddly children's toys and also, uh, horrific weapons of war?

After I bought Shamel, I went back to the store to see if there were more. There were! I found Bertle and Elephonkey, who still had the original tags. I swear the day earlier I had seen a frog toy with butterfly wings but it wasn't there anymore. I remember passing over it and thinking "eh, butterfly wings on a frog aren't cute," and did not bothering even looking at the tags. My mistake. Turns out that toy was worth a decent amount of money and was part of this whole story.

Bertle's pink belly super bright in real life, like neon. There is a sunbleached spot on it's front.

Elephonkey is the only one with original tags. I also included an image of the tush tag. For each toy the tush tag is the same but displays the character's name.

Hybrid animals are not a unique concept. Wuzzles, a line of plush toys that were animal hybrids with wings and likely made to compete with Care Bears, are brought up in most posts and forums where Firffels are mentioned--usually to disparage Firffels as being knock off, less successful Wuzzles. Wuzzles weren't exactly successful either, though they definitely lasted longer and had more reach, likely due to the backing of a Disney/Hasbro budget. AF Blog in 2015 makes a good point that I agree with: it's unlikely that Wuzzles and Firffels were ripping each other off due to production timelines. Toy lines can be in development for years before any information is made public. It takes a long time to design toys, then get them to a manufacturer, then go through the revisions process. Not to mention the time it takes to ship things out, negotiate contracts at every step of the way, etc. And, as AF Blog notes, Whoever Heard of a Fird? was released in 1984, a year before the first Wuzzles tv episode aired, and Firffels hit the market a year later.

People draw hybrid animals all the time. For example, furry adoptable artists draw hybrids all the time (take a shot every time you find a closed species that is a feline with a fish tail or deer feet or some other animal's defining trait), the Lego movie had Unikitty, and I literally went to Walmart today and in the toy section there was a miniature rabbit-like rainbow animal with wings and a unicorn horn there. The thing that makes these toys potentially appealing, in my opinion, is that they choose safe and popular traits: sparkly horns and feathery wings, for the most part. Things that are easily marketable.

The thing with Firffels is that they combined animals with traits that are less immediately appealing. Image below from Ghost of the Doll.

Some of them are cute but the others miss the mark. Personally I like Shamel and Bertle (the plush version only tbh).

Worth pointing out is that the character illustrations do not match the toy designs. If you go back and watch the commercials included in the 5 minute promo video, you can see that the Bertle plush and action figure are brown and green rather than pink and blue, and that Shamel's hair is brown instead of purple. I saw varied photos of the Butterfrog plush: some were lighter green while others were darker. Could be an issue with differing cameras, but I don't know for certain. And then there's Elephonkey, who is the most inconsistent of the bunch:

The first image is the prototype toy as it appears in the commercial. It is grey and flesh colored, with odd looking plastic hair. The second image is from Ghost of the Doll, of how the Elephonkey action figure actually appeared in stores. Third is a photo of my Elephonkey plush. Compare it with the official character art...well, he's not my favorite design in any incarnation.

I think the toys in the commercials were prototypes that were changed to brighter colors so as to appeal more towards girls. In the 30 second plush commercial there are 4 girl actors and 1 boy actor, with the camera shots getting closer to and focusing more on the girls' faces, so it would make sense. In contrast, the action figure commercial features 1 girl and 2 boys, and most of the camera shots are of the kids' hands playing with the toys, giving off a more boyish, gender-neutral vibe. Classics of gendered marketing, am I right? lol. But I think the change was a good one. I wouldn't have picked up Shamel if I hadn't seen the purple hair, and I definitely would not like Bertle if he wasn't pink. It gives the toys more of a cohesive style, a unique identity, and they fit in more alongside the Wuzzles/Care Bears visuals with the vibrant, happy colors. There's more of a toy-like quality to them, which increases the cuddle-ability and inspires more of an urge to play.

Discovering and logging all this inconsistency has been pretty fun. But it makes me think that these toys were probably doomed by a chaotic, unorganized development process behind the scenes. And given that the book was published in '84 and toys hit the market in '85...the signs seem to point to production being rushed.

To be fair to Firffels, it was probably a little harder in the 80s to hit it big with kids. You had to be lucky, you had to have connections with the right distributors, you had to anticipate what is universally appealing to children--one of the most unpredictable audiences out there--and you had to pay to air your commercials during prime child viewing hours. These are all things that are still true, but we have the internet now and the advertising power of the internet is scary. Going viral on TikTok has the potential to skibidi someone's toilet career. iPad babies are growing up into grade school kids who throw birthday parties every year and get toys as gifts. We are living in an era where mass-producing cheap little polyester plushies and plastic figures is easier than ever and corporations have massive budgets to pump into kids' eyeballs through every advertising avenue they possibly can. They don't even need to come up with the designs anymore, they can just partner with whatever Roblox game is popular right now and capitalize on that. Maybe Othello Bach should get on Roblox.

Actually, it appears that Bach was given the short end of the stick by the time Firffels were pulled. Though her personal website is no longer up, her other website dedicated entirely to Whoever Heard of a Fird? has some info:

At the height of Fird's success, with over 100 licensees cramming the store shelves with children’s merchandise and an animation contract with Hanna-Barbera, the book and all the merchandise suddenly vanished from the shelves.  Although she lost the rights to several other published children’s books at the same time, Othello has never received a reasonable explanation for what happened.

So this passage actually clears something up for me. This whole time something that hasn't really lined up is that I had assumed that Othello Bach published the book first and then was approached for merchandising rights after the book sold well. I actually think now it's possible that from the get-go the book was written with the intention for it to become a worldwide sensation. Not so much Bach's intent, though. I have some professional familiarity with licensing and other such creative publishing contracts, particularly with books. Based on what I know, I believe it's more likely that Bach pitched her manuscript to Caedmon Publishing and Caedmon, seeking to create popular IP, was like, "this has potential and we are going to sign you on not only for the book, but for more." That might be why the character designs are so strange: they were trying too hard to get famous quick and had instructed the illustrator (it is regular practice for publishers to pair authors with an illustrator and given how much was on the line for this IP, Bach might not've had much input here) to design characters that could also become toys. It's unlikely that Michelle Dorman, a kids book illustrator, had product design skills needed to make standout, awesome toy designs. Not a knock on her, illustrators just have niches within their field that they're best at it. It's why you see so many illustrators complain about how often they get approached to design logos--that's not what we do, thank you.

What's sad is that clearly Bach had signed a bad contract that gave away most of her rights as the writer to the publisher. She openly says so above. My guess is that Caedmon told her they needed more rights than usual to be able to conduct so much merchandising (like signing contracts with Remco, much easier to do when you don't have a third party also involved), and because they were pouring so much effort into it on their end. Bach is just the writer, so while the original idea is hers, Caedmon would have matched her with an illustrator and taken charge of all the licensing and merchandising. For a publisher this is a huge commitment financially and personnel-wise, so it makes sense why they would have put forth a contract that gave them so many rights. If Firffels had become as popular as they'd hoped, they don't want to not own the IP. They would have poured all those resources into it and not be able to reap all the rewards because that pesky author would own it. It's almost like contracts like these are predatory and only serve the interests of the publisher. Almost like publishers are companies existing in a capitalistic system and therefore only serve profit, not people. Almost like companies will never truly have artist's best interests at heart, and if you are ever to sign a contract with a big publisher you need to have a good lawyer by your side.

It makes me so sad to read that they didn't even give her a reasonable explanation as to why everything was cancelled. She does not even appear to have any of the merchandise on hand, as all the photos on her website are from Ghost of the Doll. In hindsight we can guess, obviously, why the cancellation happened but I'm in the moment it was probably upsetting. It's still upsetting, given that she has included this in her website for the...revamped book!

However, like Fird, Othello refused to give up. For the next 20 years, she tried to regain the rights to her work. Entertainment attorneys assured her it would never happen.  They said, "It can't be done!" But... it could be done and Othello did it, regaining the rights back to all her work.

Yeah, so, I actually think this is the saddest part about the whole thing. She managed to get some of the rights back and republished the book with...new art...that looks so fucking BAD. Image from her website:

Sorry to this illustrator, but got damn. There is no sauce to this art whatsoever. It is unseasoned, not even salt and pepper. This looks like ass and would never fucking fly with any editor worth their chops. It took me ages to figure out that the long yellow curved line is Fird's tail. Like, this is so unbelievably sad to me. I don't even really like the original art a whole lot, but compared to this...

My informed guess as to what happened is that Bach lawyered up and fought. As we know, Caedmon is now owned by HarperCollins. I can't say for certain but there was probably some case to be made that Caedmon being sold breached the contract, or nullified parts of it, or perhaps the contract expired. It could even just be that HarperCollins didn't care about an old, unprofitable IP and granted Bach her rights back. There is also Remco to consider: they also hold some of the rights, but probably just for the merchandise? Given how prominently their logo is displayed on the toy tags, they might actually own a significant share. Perhaps they were happy not to have anything to do with the book so long as the merch rights weren't touched. I don't know! There's no info about it on the site and this stuff is usually under NDA.

So Bach got her rights back, but she's just the writer. She doesn't own any of the art, so in order to republish the book she had to hire a new illustrator. She likely did not have a huge budget for it, maybe even paying for it out of her pocket because the Choice Books logo she has in several spots on the Fird website appears to be for a distribute on demand service, in place of a traditional publisher.

As the writer, she also would not have gotten the rights to use the original audiobook, so she had one re-recorded. It also appears like she does not have the rights to the name "Firffels" either, as the only places it appears on the site are in photographs of merchandise and in titles specifically referring to the work that is still owned by Caedmon. She carefully refers to her own work as "Fird" for short or the book's full title, probably because she cannot legally imply that she owns or made anything else.

I dug into this thinking it would be a quick look at some strange, forgotten toys from a bygone era. Instead I found a story about how an artist can so easily be shafted by publishers. Everything always loops back around to workers' rights, it seems. Stories like this about shitty publishing contracts (see: Webtoon if you want to get into something current) still appear so often, man. It's depressing, and indicative that the publishing industry needs some reforming ASAP. Like, Illustrators, when are we getting a proper union?

But I'm glad Bach got her rights back and got her book republished within her lifetime. I'm sad she didn't have the budgets for a better illustrator. Sorry to bring that up again, I work as an illustrator irl and I have opinions about craft, lol. Also I just think that given how hard Bach had to fight, she deserved to have better art made. That being said, here's another link to her current website. There's not much there but what is there is a monument to a battle she fought and won, and is proud of.

The lack of detailed, clear, centralized documentation of these toys frustrates me. One of the most frustrating things about the internet for me is that there are few easily accessible, publicly available archives of toys--even for modern toys. I've had to use Amazon reviews and Ebay listings and broken online stores to decipher publication years. With this in mind I decided to do a write up and provide clearer pictures of the toys that I have (I'll take hi res pics in natural lighting too someday). Archives are important to me and the internet kinda sucks for it, I say as someone who started this blog for that purpose. If Tumblr goes down, so does everything I've posted here. As an artist who works primarily digitally, one of the scariest things is knowing that I'm laboring over an ephemeral body of work. It's just not going to exist for very long unless I print it out on archival materials. Data is not the same as a physical object. My Firffels have survived for 39 years but the digital art I draw every day is unlikely to last past 10 years because websites die and files get deleted.

I bought the Firffels from my thrift store thinking I'd resell them. I'm low income so I sell many of the things I thrift. I prefer to buy the older toys or the ones that need cleaning because it makes me feel better about being a reseller (I don't want to take away options from low income kids in my area, ya know?). But I'm putting in the labor to freshen them up and I'm putting in the effort to make unavailable toys available again, at least for one person. And I don't have a whole lot of shelf space to display the toys in my collection...but for now I think I'll keep them.

[quiveringdeer]

I like to think when little Bertholdt first saw Sesame Street, he was like 😲😲 because omg a giant walking talking Bibbered!

He'd feel such kinship to that Sweet Giant Yellow Bird seeing him on TV! Bibbered was a random baby shower gift that Bertl just happen to form attachment to as a teeny tiny Bertl.

And gosh, now I'm imagining the absolute awe on tiny 6 year old Bertl's face if he ever goes somewhere where he meets someone in a Big Bird costume. Maybe some like kids reading event at a library or somethin? Those already large pale green eyes opening even wider when he hears the performer's voice (who happens to have a spot on impersonation) and lil Bert, still holding his dad's hand and his Bibbered close to his side with the other, tugs his dad forward to glance around the corner and see live Bibbered!

You think he may be reserved or nervous but to him this is one of his best friends so of course he's gonna be comfortable around him! And my heart is bursting with the adorable image of Bertl getting to hug live Bibbered for a photo and his eyes are closed and squinty cause he's grinnin so big and one of his front teeth is missing. 🥺

Also I had the thought of sometime when in middle school some bully trynna be funny when one day Bert wears a sweet, pale yellow sweater to school and calls him Big Bird. And Bert just looks so confused as to why the guys' friends are laughing so much and then he smiles all soft and responds, "Um. Thank you." Then he's walking away cause likes to eat his lunch quick so he can spend the rest of the time in the library or somethin.

----

Also lookin up things and tell me how sweet it'd be for Bertholdt to grow up watching this show and learning how to be such an extra understanding and caring person.

Life can be tough, he told us, but it’s going to be all right. 😢

Big Bird always enjoyed friendly competition, but was never sure if he should be happy when he won if someone else had to lose. After a footrace with Mr. Snuffleupagus, for example, he said, “He’s going to be sad he didn’t win, and he might even be angry because I beat him.” (Fortunately, Mister Rogers was still on hand, and helped Big Bird realize that he could be a gracious winner and still let his friend know that he cared about his feelings.)

[daggerzine]

Kevin Robertson- The Call of the Sea (Futureman Records)

One thing about UK musician Kevin Robertson is that the guy definitely keeps busy. Between releasing solo records and ones with his band, The Vapour Trails, the guy has no lack of songs coming out of him. 

Like on previous records, he has his son Scott on bass and other instruments and drummer Nick Bertling on board (he adds a few different instruments as well including sitar); and The Call of the Sea is sharp, concise, and economical. The songs come at you with a nice mix of pop styles from jumpy power pop to more psych-oriented stuff (for that, check out the terrific "Windows of the Sun," listening to that one you just might think it's 1967).

He adds more guitar heroics to the woozy "Subway Hold." "Search for Replies" adds some twang and hearing this, I could see Robertson doing a whole album of country songs (or maybe some classic country covers?). Stay until the end or you'll miss the ace title track (with more pedal steel). 

Robertson and Co. have put their best foot forward here as The Call of the Sea is chock-full of marvelous songs and a real breezy feel throughout. Listen and listen well, you're in for a surprise.

www.futuremanrecords.bandcamp.com

www.kevinrobertson.bandcamp.com

[jetpuffedmarsh]

Instead of finding, I don't know, new things to obsess over; I've started pulling out my old fixations from my metaphorical attic and brushing dust off some old ships from middle school.

[cat7-blog]

The Japanese SnK character Popularity poll 2017

Voting runs from June 1st to June 15th, 2017, and each participant can vote seven times. Total votes: 596.201

The link to the poll--> https://akiba-souken.com/anime/vote/v_1034/

Bert was second, with 97.998 votes!, that’s fucking amazing. Isayama, you should have protected bertl

1)リヴァイ (Levi)   votes: 161.024

2)ベルトルト・フーバー (Bertholdt  Hoover) votes: 97.998

3)エレン・イェーガー(Eren Jaeger) votes: 90.242

4)ミカサ・アッカーマン(Mikasa Ackerman) votes: 87.931

5)エルヴィン・スミス(Erwin Smith) votes: 50.792

6)ライナー・ブラウン(Reiner Braun) votes: 40.126

7)ハンジ・ゾエ (Hanji Zoe) votes: 21.416

8)クリスタ・レンズ　／　ヒストリア・レイス (Crista Lenz/Historia Reiss) votes: 13.036

9)ジャン・キルシュタイン(Jean Kirstein) votes: 8994

10)ユミル(Yimir) votes: 8.351

11)アルミン・アルレルト(Armin Arlert) votes: 6.611

12)ペトラ・ラル (Petra Ral) votes: 3.475

13)アニ・レオンハート(Annie Leonhart) votes: 2.356

14)ナナバ(Nanaba) votes: 552

15)ニファ (Nifa) votes: 520

16)サシャ・ブラウス (Sasha Blouse) votes: 514

17)ミケ・ザカリアス (Mike Zacharius) votes: 512

18)ハンネス (Hannes) votes: 471

19)マルコ・ボット(Marco Bodt) votes: 448

20)モブリット・バーナー (Moblit) votes: 293

21)コニー・スプリンガー (Connie Springer) votes: 208

22)リコ・プレチェンスカ ( Rico) votes: 168

23)ドット・ピクシス (Dot Pixis) votes: 163

[oncejaw]

@massensterben​ said:  ❛ there’s nothing you could have done. ❜ (misc. quotes) (acc.)

There are so many things he could have done. Doing things, finding solutions, figuring things out is what he has been sent here for, why he has been assigned the leadership role. Leadership, Marcel has found, in his eighteen grand years of experience, is not about thinking on behalf of everybody else. It’s about thinking just that one step further, the one that will put him and his allies ahead of their enemies, carve an unlikely path through the darkness, create miracles where all hope has been lost. He thought he was quite good at it; encouraged by starry-eyed little boys and girls following him around like ducklings in an internment zone, by haunted gazes looking to him for guidance after his neck nigh got wrung and a wall collapsed. 

Golden eyes remain attached to the hearth burning bright between them, the proud Warriors of Marley - all but short of one. The flames dance before him and find they reflection in irises burning with the same intensity. Bertholdt’s words, soft-spoken as ever, resigned, dispensing an absolution Marcel isn’t sure his friend actually believes in, fly over his head like the volutes of smoke rising from their makeshift camp on the wall. Silence hangs between them, heavy, crushing. We’ll all come back, Annie, I promise. We’re all going home. The frown on his forehead burrows deeper; anger pools like acid in his stomach, fuels the agitated beast slumbering at the back of his neck. It’s not Bertholdt he’s angry at. Bertholdt hasn’t done or said anything wrong; but nothing pricks at him like a million thorns. Nothing is a forbidden word, in Marcel’s world, one that constantly lurches forward.

“There is always something.” He mutters, grim and somber, snapping a twig of wood between his fingers. “I shouldn’t have let anyone talk me into staying behind when we made our first attempt on Eren.” Had Bertholdt even voiced a preference on the matter? He can’t remember; but he distinctly remembers Annie’s stern, icy gaze drilling into him. “If we’d had both the Female and the Jaw in the Forest, the Corps would never have recovered him, and we would already be back in Marley with the Founder. And Annie wouldn’t be in their hands, hibernating in a crystal until we break her free or they do.” 

Granted, there might still have been many things possibly going wrong with the plan, even if he had been there. But none of it matters in the eyes of a boy shouldering his worst and most painful failure yet. He keeps his eyes on the fire, still; and feels Bertholdt’s steel greys probe at him. Does he expect an answer? An action plan? Another miracle? Marcel isn’t sure he has one in store.

But what choice does he have, but to make it happen anyway.

“We’re getting Annie back. I don’t know how yet, but - I’m not leaving this island without her.” Somehow, he has a feeling Bertholdt will not be one to oppose him. He was always the one glancing over his shoulder, making sure everyone followed, looking back, after all. 

[gojirarara]

*blows a kiss to Bertholdt Hoover*

[massensterben-a]

"I thought it was you." Sasha chirps as she joins Bertholdt outside the 104th Cadet Corps barracks. Expertly balanced on her hand, a mug of tea clouded with milk, and a small plate with a piece of pie; she places them on the handrailing, by her friend's side. She will leave him to his quiet contemplation; but isn't contemplation always more enjoyable with the littlest of guilty pleasures? "I promise I didn't steal it from the pantry. Or anywhere else. Or the officers." This time, at least.

Bertholdt wakes from his reverie with a surprised ‘Hm?’. He turns to find Sasha at his elbow, presenting tea and pie to him. She sets both down in front of him with a little disclaimer, surely meant to reassure him that she doesn’t mean to rope him into eating incriminating evidence. But even if she does...

“Is that cherry pie?” 

The boy leans closer, immediately interested. But then his conscience catches up with him. She has no business  distributing pastries like this. He has done nothing to earn this little token of attention. It’d be wrong. “Wait, no, I can’t just accept this. What are y—” His protests die in his throat when he looks back at Sasha’s face, the sweet smile she offers him in return. His shoulders slope in bewildered surrender, but the expression on his face warms.

“Thank you, Sasha. That’s very kind of you.”

[timid-warrior]

Today’s episode was great, loved the music, waited for this moment for ages ~

Loved this blog as well < 3

[rraspberryramen]

……. I miss bertholdt 🥲 rip 🪦

By the way, did you watch the recent episode?

I’m not gonna watch season four anytime soon, mostly because I don’t really like how they handled Annie in the final arc, but also because I already finished the manga so I know what happens. I’m still planning to watch it sometime, though. Aot was my first anime so I think I have to just out of respect.

[pinkmirth]

i just remembered that bertholdt was 6’3!?! holy fuck gimme one chance please I beg of you

[mazuwii]

The AOT characters lose you

Scenario: They lose you and go searching for you. 

Levi

-He's just thinking to himself about how he got in such a shitty party and is only thinking about how you were so excited to go -The whole time he was sat on a chair watching over your drink while you were off to the bathroom -So many people tried to start a conversation with him but he'd only scoff and turn away from him -At last, when the party was over he was beginning to grow pale, paranoid of where you could have gone -Checks the bathroom and nope, you're not there -You can bet he's going around everywhere in the span of 10 minutes, he's not giving up on finding you he even asks people if they've seen you -his last resort is to ask Hange and Erwin for help until he goes home to grab his phone and finds you fast asleep on the bed -turns out you forgot and just went home lol

Eren:

-You guys are in an amusement park and he's been trying to win a teddybear by shooting the target(scam games lol) -you said you'd go get some food so he nodded without looking at you, you left long ago. -When he finally wins he realises the sky got darker and you're still not around like holy shit the guy keeps it together and decides to go searching, assuming you got bored and went to try other rides -tried looking near the food stalls hut you weren't there either -At this point, he begins to panic and goes around everywhere three times, still not finding you -he's so close to tearing the entire theme park to bits until he bumps into a familiar someone -you can bet the moment he sees you he's not releasing you from his tight hug, talking over you continuously about how scared he was and how stupid you are to run away like that -turns out you were walking in opposite directions the whole time and just missed each other every cycle -idiots

Bertholdt:

-He said he'd go drop something off at his friends house and told you that you could go-ahead to his grannies (you were supposed to visit his grandma together) -You agree and decide to pack something for her before leaving -Twenty minutes pass and Bertl is already back except he couldn't find you in the house, assuming you already left -ignores the fear bubbling in his chest and drives off to his grandma's house. Even then, he can't find you. -Asks his grandma "Have you- um have you seen Y/N?" He stammers only for her to shake her head, and go back to sleep. -he full-on gets a panic attack, doesn't even say goodbye he's rushing back into his car and calling his friends up to alert them about your disappearance. -The man is searching the entire neighbourhood. Like I mean the ENTIRE neighbourhood. -Until he finds you happily skipping with a bag of oranges at the park. He's getting out of his car and not locking it, hell he forgets to close the door and just rams into you -you're confused as to why he's saying 'thank god' over and over again and why he's crying -in conclusion, is a cinnamon roll💞

Reiner:

-It was an early Saturday morning and you had a meeting with someone. You kissed his head as you got up at five AM only to be stopped with a clasp of your arm. You turned to see Reiner half-awake, asking where you were off to on a Saturday. -You explained and he groaned in annoyance as if he was a pouty child :( you laughed and told him you'd be back a bit late which only made him whine more. -it was a long day but he spent it doing work and prepared everything for when you come back. -Yet even when the clock hit seven PM he began to panic slightly, calling your number only for the voice message to say your phone was closed -waits a little bit more and the clock strikes eleven pm, that was his last straw before he rushed out of the house and went around asking if anyone had seen you. Even though no one was out at that time, just the drunk weirdos -he got a call from you telling him to come to your location because you were scared of the isolated environment -wastes no time and goes straight to you -the moment he sees you he runs and engulfs you in a hug, scolding you about not taking the car to work. -Can I just say he makes you feel so safe🥺🥺

Jean:

-the both of you were in a concert (you choose which one) and he was extremely hyped up about it, the both of you in the middle of the crowd screaming lyrics with the musicians on stage -just as he was about to hold you close to him, he realised you were nowhere to be seen. He began to mentally punch himself, realising he let you out of his sight and now you could be in pain, scared or even worse-taken away. -he tried to stay calm but he just couldn't, pushing through the crowds panting heavily. -For the rest of the concert that's all he had done, search and yell for your name. He even alerted the bodyguards at the front. -When the concert was over he could be seen crying into his palms at a bench while the fans walked out. You saw this and raced to him, your heart becoming lighter in relief. -you grabbed his shoulders and hugged him, explaining how you went to the bathroom for a bit and couldn't find him on your way back. It turns out you were both searching for each other. -denies it when you tell him he's crying LOL

Armin:

-He's taking notes about a certain flower in the flower park, it was huge, full of beautiful plants and elegantly shaped hedges. -asks if you want a coffee and you nod your head, too enchanted by the foxgloves in a straight row. -he smiles at how distracted you seem before going to get the coffees, knowing the exact amount of sugars you'd want. -However when he got back, you were nowhere to be seen. At the entrance? Not. Near the duck pond? No. Tourist area? No. Literally nowhere. And you're not picking up -he's shaking and drops on a bench and dials Eren and Mikasa to come to the park as soon as possible. The man is having a mental breakdown. -when Mikasa finally joins the trio she finds you first and comes back to the two with you squirming on her shoulder -Armin darts in your direction and hugs you tight and explains how he's going to put a tracker on you next time jokingly

Erwin:

-You didn't want to go on this trip and neither did Levi or Erwin. -Hange forced you all to come on her camping trip in order to get a badge. Like, aren't you a bit old for that? How did you even- -you were helping Levi set up the tents and Erwin was too busy fetching wood for the fire. -Hange was climbing up trees for some reason. -As it started to get colder you clung onto your coat and shivered at the puff of smoke leaving your mouth. -"Erwins almost back with the wood Y/N, don't die on us." Hange joked, climbing back down with her binoculars in one hand. You shook your head at her and told the two you were off to go find him. Levi warned you to be careful considering how dark it was getting. You didn't care you just wanted someone warm to hug. -meanwhile, Erwin had been distracted by two birds making love to one another, confused and standing there like 👁👄👁 the whole time -finally gets back with a load of wood and sets it down in front of the tents. "Where's Y/N?" He looks around for you, furrowing his brows when Hange and Levi's gaze meet each other. -"We thought she went to you..." Hange said, crouching down to turn the fire on. His jaw dropped slightly and all colour drained his face. Instantly grabs a torch and rushes off to find you while Levi and Hange toast some wieners💀 -Like he's just screaming your name in his commander's voice, cracking a few times from pure fear that you may be hurt. -until he hears you cry back and runs in the direction of your voice continuously screaming his name. -you've never seen him so scared, you run into his arms and quiver from the sudden heat radiating from his body. -Will not let you leave his sight during that trip. Ever

Zeke:

-He's at the mall and met friends while you went to fetch some new clothes and decor for your house. -they're talking casually and he suddenly brings you up, a funny story about the both of you until he realises you've spent too long in that shop and you haven't come out since -immediately cuts himself off and checks the place, realising you're nowhere to be found. -you can bet he's going in and out of places just to find you. The man at last, goes to his last resort and tells the bodyguards about it. -suddenly you could hear this on the speakers. "Y/N L/N please stand- where? Oh okay- at the front of the mall, daddy is waiting for you"- the man is suddenly cut off and you can hear Zeke. "Y/N, once I find you I swear I'm putting you on a leash!" Your jaw drops in complete embarrassment and hopes that no one you knew would be in this mall. -you wait at the front with your face hidden in your palms, trying to be lowkey when suddenly you collide with a chest. You look up and lightly hit Zeke, hissing about calling him 'daddy' and how embarrassing that was. -He doesn't care he's just glad you're okay -pulls out a leash and tells you he wasn't kidding💀💀💀 we all know Zeke was a leash kid LMAO

Porco:

-He was supposed to take you to visit Marcel in hospital after he got his penis stuck in a jam jar. (Jk he fell down the stairs and broke his foot) -but Porco had to fill up his car with gas so he left you inside after doing just that and left to get something inside the gas station. -You awaited him to get back and he finally did with two cans of Redbull. You just frown and widen your eyes at how unbelievable he was (you asked for a can of monster💀) -He just tells you that you're in a hurry and that you both don't have time for choosing drinks. -you take this to heard obviously and ignore him the whole way to the hospital. -you're having a nice time talking with Marcel while he's on the bed, telling you about how it felt to crack a few bones -Porco is on his phone like a lil whore so you decide to step out for some fresh air all in the dark barely lit up the parking lot of the hospital. -extremely cold but you aren't going to go in that traitor's car. You text goodbye to Marcel and order a cab home. Idk why but you and Porco are hella petty with one another. -The moment he figures out that you aren't in the parking lot waiting for him, or inside talking shit about him to his brother sent a jolt of fear rushing to his chest. -calls and calls but you don't pick up, literally speeds off to go home and finds you in a damp towel after a bath and begins his rampage on how annoying you are.

Hange:

-She's restless. Like the moment you guys decided to climb up a damn mountain you were already tired and she was ahead of you. You took a short break and continued. -When everyone reached the top and she couldn't find you she stopped smiling and just gaped at all the possibilities. -she would jump to find you just saying lol -climbs down even when she's told not to by the instructor and is screaming your name, echoing and eventually finding its way to you. -She finds you napping under a tree, already given up. -sighs out in relief but still wakes your lazy ass up so you can climb the rest with her

Pieck:

-There's no way she could lose you, you've been holding onto her backpack strap the whole time you were in the huge crowd and she checks every 5 seconds to see if you're still there -However, if she did lose you she's pushing people over or shoving past strangers like it's nothing just to find you😭😭😭 -The moment she sees you her hand is holding into your arm, she will not let you get lost again.

Mikasa:

-How can I say this? -Let's just say the entire world would end up flames if she didn't find you. -she doesn't need a searching team, the searching team need her. -You can bet all your life savings this mf will find you in 10 minutes. -Let's say you got kidnapped. She will hop onto that case faster than the police will. -believe me, the moment she finds you whoever took you will regret even thinking about kidnapping you😭😭😭 gets all violent and then just takes you back home as if that all didn't just happen

Mike

Let's just say the hallway on campus got way more crowded than he expected. -He forgot to hold onto your hand so he does end up losing but since he's so damn tall he can spot your head and push through people to grab your smaller ass -Does that thing where he leads you out of the crowd by holding onto your hand while your behind him so no one bumps into you😩🥺

Sasha

She's focusing on small dumb things like the grass while you're both at a carnival, probably trying to identify little bugs on the ground as you're both in line for a ride.

Until she asks what LadyBugs meant and got no reply and gasped at the realisation that you're not there. And so, ignoring everything, she begins her search for you everywhere and gets exhausted quick. It's all alright when she finds you under a tree but you're crying into your knees, -you admit that a mime came up to you and you ran away screaming out of fear from it

Annie

You two were at a buffet with your friends and you told them you needed the bathroom, she told you to be quick and hurry back and you said yes over the churning of your stomach. However, as time passes and she's already full, she begins to get a bit paranoid about your whereabouts. Your friends come back from the bathroom and explain how you weren't in there so she goes in there by herself to see *even if you're a boy, she'd enter the guys' bathroom with no care in the world*

Everyone can here her desperately banging on every stall until, when she can't find you by the sink and then kicks in one of the locked stalls to find you passed out on the floor

-it's okay just a little food poisening💀

Kenny

-He's having a beer with friends at a pub and you popped along with him because you were scared. The reason behind your fear was that it was a rainy, dark night and for the entire week the news broadcasted a serial killer had escaped prison so you clung onto Kenny for the entire seven days.

"It's bullshit." He previously said behind the shower curtains. You were sitting in the bathroom, refusing to leave his sight in case the serial killer would break in and kill you.

But now, you were swaddled in a hooded cloak, hugging Kenny's arm as he raspily wheezed at his friends' jokes. It sounded like he needed cough drops but that's just how Kenny laughs.

Suddenly, your private part pulsated. Turned on? Or did you need a wee? You weren't an idiot, the pain felt a bit satisfying but you knew you had finished a few drinks Kenny left unattended. When he would find the cup empty, he knew you drank it but didn't bother lecturing you on getting drunk and ordered another one. Besides, Kenny wasn't a lightweight when it came to drinking. In fact, he'd be able to take you both home safely.

Tugging on the hysterical man's sleeve in an attempt to alert him that you'd be gone for a few minutes but it was no use, he and his friends were so loud and distracted so you left without another word to the bathroom to do your business.

Sure it was scary and you flinched a few times from the thunder cracking through the violent rain. Once you had finished and exited the stall to wash your hands, you heard a few footsteps linger by the bathroom. Your heart thumped in your chest, making your surroundings blur in terms of vision and noise.

Without realising, you stumbled and tripped over nothing, from the pure panic and fear, you fainted on the cold tiles of the pub bathroom.

Meanwhile, Kenny had yawned and stretched his arms. He cocked a brow and realised there was nothing holding his arm... where were you? What-

His blood boiled at the idea of you being taken or killed, the fear forcing him to jolt out of his seat and stomp to the bartender, asking if he had seen you walk out. While he was trying to remember, Kenny mentally cursed himself for not paying attention to you. You could be in a ditch right now! Freezing to death in the violent rain.

"Ah yes! That girl with the weird cloak, she went in the bathroom"- Kenny skipped any words of gratitude and jogged off in the direction of the toilets, bursting the door open and huffing out a shaky breath of relief.

"Damn brat." He tried his hardest to gently slap your face, holding your head up with his palm. He may not do PDA but he wouldn't dream of letting you hurt your scalp like that.

[beneathashadytree]

(1/2)I just read your Bertholdt piece with the reader forgiving him after being taken to Marley and it was beautiful 🥺 Can I please request a continuation of it, with the reader already pregnant in the timeline of s4? Bertholdt takes s/o with him during the festival but he excuses themselves from attending the play as his s/o begins to feel unwell. Cue the Scouts and Eren's attack on Marley a short while later. In the ongoing chaos the Scouts manage to spot Bertholdt and their friend

(2/2)-who has been kidnapped for years and is now 9 months pregnant to their shock. Bertholdt's s/o starts to go into labor due to the stress unfolding at once when their former squad and friends spot them. How would things go down between all of them, with Bertholdt having to help his s/o through a difficult labor while simultaneously facing their past choices in the face, due to being seen by their (former?) friends now. Angst and lots of bitterswetness please. Thank you so much ❤️🤧♥️

BITTERSWEET (PART 2) - BERTHOLDT HOOVER X READER

Warnings : lots of curse words, one implication of sex, mentions of childbirth, reader is female!

Genre : angst to fluff

Word count : 3.8K words

Synopsis : Bertholdt now knows what it means to face the demons of your past.

Click here to read part 1

Additional notes : In all honesty, I'm not a fan of having to write continuations of my old works, because it usually causes a burn-out, since I write them as one shots to prevent that from happening in the first place. But since I was a fan of the idea, I tried my best to do it justice---but I'm not entirely sure if it's one of my best works 😅 I left it with a sort-of open ending by the way! Hope you enjoy this, and your feedback is most welcomed!

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp!

Masterlist

"Are you sure it's alright for you to be out? You're reaching the end of the third trimester, and you really shouldn't be exhausting yourself."

The palpable worry apparent in his voice caught her attention, and she turned to find him frowning and scratching his stubble. He looked as though the mere thought of her even stepping out of his sight would send him into a fit of anxiety---which probably wasn't far off from the truth.

Doing her best to give him a reassuring smile, she took his hand in hers, "Bertl, the doctor said it was fine, so don't sweat it, 'mkay?" her thumb drawing comforting circles on the back of his palm, she began to look around, drinking in the flamboyant sights, vibrant colors, and lively chatter that surrounded her from every direction, sighing contentedly, "Plus, it's been so long since I've seen everyone so happy. I couldn't miss out."

Her boyfriend bit his lip anxiously, still looking nervous despite the fact that he towered over everyone with his height, "I don't know... sweetheart, there's a lot of people around, you know. You could get knocked over."

She chuckled, "Honestly, I'm so close to having them pop out of me that if I did fall, I'd probably roll over."

"You're going to send me into a heart attack if you keep saying stuff like that," Bertholdt exasperatedly said, much to her amusement.

"Look, there's Reiner and the others!" she waved excitedly, watching as the kids stumbled over their own feet in a hurry to wave back at the girl who'd snatched the heart of the brunette they idolized.

It only took them a couple of seconds before they diverted their attention back to stalls that they practically drooled over, and the girl let out a giggle, knowing well that they'd use their sad faces to lure Reiner into the trap of buying them food from every single stand---and Porco and Pieck provided them the support they needed to rope him in.

"Reiner always looks happy with the warrior candidates," Bertholdt mused softly as he walked with his lover, arms hooked as he did his best to let her lean her weight onto him, "I mean, it's rare enough to see him with a smile nowadays..."

Noticing the drop in his expression, she nodded grimly, "Yeah. It sometimes worries me," a bittersweet laugh escaped her, "Can't believe the man I resented is now one I fret over."

Bertholdt awkwardly looked away, not meeting her eyes as he pretended to inspect the fabrics of the exported dresses in front of him, and she almost cooed at how unconsciously endearing he sometimes was when he felt "a pang of jealousy" as he'd once embarrassedly called it.

"You should really stop worrying when you're my handsome man," she clicked her tongue, lightly nudging him with her elbow and earning a blush from him, fingers dropping from the skirt he'd been holding up, "It's not like I've ever stopped loving you."

"Not even when you found out the truth?" he asked hesitantly, and she shook her head so quickly it left no room for doubt.

Before he could open his mouth and ask for a kiss, she visibly winced, stilling in place. As she grimaced, one of her hands reached up to her belly, filling the already-worriesome man with concern as he tried to eye her for any symptoms.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain? Is the baby okay?" he rushed all at once, dropping her arm and turning to face her properly, his hands flying to gingerly touch her protruding stomach, the girl's breathing growing heavier for a few seconds at a time before relaxing altogether.

He frowned at her lack of reply, reaching up to touch her forehead, "You're warm. Can you tell me what's wrong?"

With an unsure shake of her head, she huffed, barely speaking up, "I'm not feeling too well," opting to lean against the wooden planks of a jewelry, her actions began to catch the attention of passers-by, which sent Bertholdt further into a panic, not knowing what to do when she wasn't letting him on on what exactly she was feeling.

Right in the midst of his frenzy, a hand clamped on his shoulder, and he whipped around, a rare look of annoyance on his face, asking a quick, "Is it urgent?" to Porco, who arched his brow at the uncharacteristic attitude the normally-reserved man had donned.

"Commander Magath wants us to head to the front lines of the audience," he pointed at their designated seats, "Your girlfriend should have a seat with the other Eldian citizens."

"She's sick now," Bertholdt snapped, ruffling his hair in frustration, "I can't leave her behind. Can't this wait? It's just a goddamn play."

Taken aback as the girl began to sway, Porco furrowed his brows, "I mean, I can try to pull a few strings, but I don't think the government would turn a blind eye to their killing machine being absent."

Nodding without even looking back at the blonde, the taller of the two pressed his fingers to her wrist, trying to measure her pulse as best as he could, ushering her to the nearest seat possible, ignoring how the area began to gradually clear out of the people who were now so eager to watch the upcoming much-awaited Tybur performance unfold.

The worried father-to-be couldn't care less about the cacophony of sounds coming from the direction of the stage. He'd completely tuned every single one of his senses out to anything other than attending to his seemingly-ill woman.

As he laid her down on a creaky bench (the only available option, given the fact that they were all alone in the middle of a street), he grew more worried as she gritted her teeth, a look of pain flashing across her face for a few moments before she exhaled a heavy puff of air.

"My stomach, it just hurts," she winced, no doubt feeling another tug of inexplicable pain, clamoring to take his hand in hers, "And... I don't know, I just feel uneasy. I can't really describe it. All I know is that everything feels suffocating right now, and I feel as though I'm taking multiple blows to the gut."

The warrior groaned, "Great. Just when every damn doctor is out of reach, we face an issue when you've had a completely stable pregnancy so far," he brushed her hair back from her sticky forehead, wishing there was anything he could do to ease her discomfort, maybe by bringing her temperature down first---but then again, as intelligent as he was, he was still powerless without a medical degree and all the necessary tools that came with the job.

"It's fine, it'll probably pass in a bit," giving him a weak smile, she squeezed his hand, "We have to remain level-headed so we could properly take action if needed."

It was all she managed to say, before multiple rumbles shook the earth beneath their feet, stunning Bertholdt into a shock. He stilled in his place, eyes widening as, mere moments later, the abandoned festival road filled with the sounds of zipping wires and shots being fired, as black dots raced past them before they could even register it. Even the woman barely noticed the agonizing pain as it came once again, instead finding herself hypnotized by the familiar sight and sound she could never forget.

"Wait, is that... Bertholdt?" a yell came from somewhere amidst that buzzing cloud of black bodysuits, metal armor clinking as they slammed forcefully against the side of the building, "Fuck, Jean, Sasha, come here now, it's that son of a bitch!"

No sooner did the venomous words escape his mouth did two figures come tumbling down, unceremoniously trying to scramble as fast as they could in the direction of the two in the middle of the road.

"Is that... her?" Sasha gasped, breaking into a sprint, only briefly glancing at her companion, "Connie, tell me I'm imagining things."

"You're not," ash-brown hair in a mullet now, the boy they'd once known as the brash Jean stood almost head to head with Bertholdt, a Connie with much longer hair on his other side, murderous eyes landing on him, "That bastard kidnapped her, and don't you fucking dare forget it."

Bertholdt didn't know how to react, beads of prespiration running down his neck. Half of him wanted to obliterate them for even thinking of showing up, certain of the fact that they came with not-so-innocent intent, while the other half of him was too busy worrying to death about how to shield his heavily pregnant partner from any harm that might befall them in the process. He couldn't afford to be hasty or careless, yet all he wanted to do was throw himself in the face of the people who now despised him in order to protect his small family.

"So you knocked her up, after you've had your way with her?" Connie's face held the most disgusted look he'd ever seen, words laced with posion as he seemed to wish death upon him the very instant he saw their old friend with their hand on a large belly, "You're really scummy, aren't you?"

The man's eyes widened, only now coming to realize the implications of their word, "No! It's not---"

The sickening sound of a crunch resounded through the street as Jean's fist met his nose, the pounding ache almost instant the moment his punch landed on Bertholdt's face---bitterly, he thought to himself that this truly wasn't anything unlike him; in fact, he'd have been surprised if Jean hadn't hot-headedly tried to beat him to a pulp with his own bare hands, in a way to serve justice by himself. And it was ironic how, after being someone he'd relied on and looked up to, it was only a matter of time before he became his greatest enemy.

"Please," Sasha harshly whispered as the taller brunette groaned in pain on the ground, "Just shut the fuck up, you spineless coward. I can't stand to hear your voice. "

Gritting his teeth, Jean squeezed his eyes shut, "You're the reason why Armin's dead, when you never should've fucking lived," grabbing him by the collar, fury blazing in his eyes, he brought the man with the crooked nose up to his height, "Tell me, how is it fair you get to live a happy life, when his had to end early because of you?"

A whine of pain interrupted their deadly eye contact, causing them to turn with concerned facial expressions to the blanched girl who now was clinging onto Connie's hand desperately, knuckles turning white. Huffing for a couple of seconds, she winced before speaking up in a wobbly voice.

"As much as I understand where you're all coming from, I don't think this is the time for it, when I'm about to give birth to a child."

"You're what?!" a collective shout came from, and Bertholdt was once again dropped to the floor as Jean recoiled from the shock, before he was scrambling to get up and run to her side, worry overtaking his features.

When he sat on the dirt road, he pushed Connie and Sasha's looming figures aside, "How? When? Is it---"

"Not fine obviously," she snapped, before sighing, "Just... get me a doctor. In any damn way, the contractions are getting closer."

"Must've been that pain," he muttered under his breath, concluding that her seeming-illness was just her contractions, "Did your water break?"

"Obviously, considering the fact that I've soiled my dress and that I'm having faster contractions?" she exaspseratedly said, realizing that Bertholdt was growing more panicked than she was, and losing common sense in the process, "Stress isn't good for a pregnant woman, and that's all I've been feeling for the past ten minutes, for fuck's sake."

"We just had to help you out," Sasha frowned, "He's the bastard who did this to you---"

The girl cried out in pain, interrupting Sasha's protests as another contraction ripped through her body, sending her muscles spasming and urging the flustered Bertholdt to run away from his old comrades and in the direction of the main streets that slowly started flooding with people, probably in hopes of finding any stray doctor amidst the chaos that had ensued in an almost-apocalyptic manner. He yelled out a plea for them to make sure she stays put, to which Connie almost hisses at him that he has no right to give them any orders, despite the fact that he still worryingly watched over the shivering girl.

"Sasha," she croaked out, causing the girl to hurriedly clasp her hands, before launching into a ramble as Jean took her other side, gently brushing her hair away from her forehead.

"Don't worry, we'll get you out of here, as soon as the baby's born we'll take off and run before Erwin picks us up with the airship, and the we'll be back to Paradis in no time and---"

With what little energy she could muster, she flicked the girl's cheek, "Sasha. This was all consensual."

She blinked twice, before the trio snapped up with an incredulous, "Huh?!"

Another wave of contractions took over, this time causing her to hunch over as much as she possibly could with her bulging tummy, squeezing the girl's hands almost hard enough to break a few bones, and she must've had incredible strength to not even utter a word of discomfort---or maybe she was too shocked by her previous confession  to speak.

After the pain had momentarily subsided (or at the very least became tolerable), the girl spoke up again, "He's my boyfriend."

"Back the fuck up," Connie's eyes were comically wide as he asked, "You like that... thing? You wanted to carry his child?'

If she hadn't been screaming her lungs seconds later, she would've even laughed at his reaction. Heaving and panting, she could only limply wave at Jean, "Doctor's not gonna make it in time. Stand near my feet."

"Wait, what?" he went a few shades paler, gaping as she pulled her skirt upwards with the help of the still-in-a-bit-of-a-daze Sasha, and the bearded young man staggered at the sight.

"You're gonna have to deliver my baby."

Before he could even utter a word of protest, another blood-curdling scream escaped her, and he had to swallow down the urge to pass out, diving between her knees with a silent prayer that he wouldn't heave his stomach's contents out.

***

Cooing against her chest and hastily swaddled in a makeshift towel made of celebratory fabrics sold in a stall they knew would never see another owner, the baby was blissfully silent after having cried his little lungs out for the past minutes he'd been brought into this world. Though it might've felt suffocating under different circumstances and with different people, having the trio she remembered as being rambunctious surrounding her as quiet as mice was a heartwrenching sight she never expected she'd see.

"He's so tiny," Sasha sniffled, eyes wide open in wonder and awe as she observed him breathe silently, "Not like his giant tree-ass dad."

Jean lightly tapped her upside the head, "Language," he grumbled un a low voice, "There's a child."

Connie whispered as he lightly brushed the baby's small tuft of dark brown hair, "Wonder how things ended up like this."

As she leaned back against Sasha's firm body, she sighed, "I just learnt that we're not that much better off to be persecuting him."

"He's the reason your parents are dead, not to mention why we couldn't see you for years and mistook you for dead," Jean dead-panned, eyebrows furrowed as he watched the newborn with conflicted eyes, "We're retaliating after their attacks."

"They were only kids, Jean, and he thought taking me along was the best decision, meanwhile this attack you're speaking of..." she drifted off, shaking her head, "I can't tell you he's a good man, because that's subjective. All I can tell you is that I can now, at the very least, understand him enough to forgive him."

"We're not that kind, though," Sasha smiled sadly at her, "Not all of us have it in our hearts to be that forgiving."

"You guys have every right to be bitter," the exhausted woman slumped against her old friend, "It was my choice to get with him. You befriending him is not an obligation."

Just as Connie sniffled, ready to launch into a heartfelt speech, a tall figure hurtled towards them, no control over his legs as he nearly crashed into his unsuspecting form.

"I got the doctor, he's right----here..." coming to a halt in front of her with his nose bandaged up and pointing at a man whose silhouette they could vaguely make out, Bertholdt grew quiet after he let out a small gasp, slowly and very carefully taking a seat where Sasha had sat, right behind her and looking down at the baby who was the perfect mix of their features, ever so delicate-looking and adorable.

"Can you believe we made him?" his girlfriend whispered, doting eyes resting on their son's peaceful sleeping face, "Look at him."

Gulping, Bertholdt tried and failed to speak steadily, "He's so precious. He came when I wasn't looking, huh?"

With a grateful but tired smile, she nodded, "Jean helped me birth him. As kind as ever."

The brunette in question looked away, a nice reddish hue to his face as he grew flustered under her praise, "It's just the bare minimum. It's not like you gave me a choice eitherways."

"Still, thank you," Bertholdt's words were sincere, though Jean's shoulders remained tense as he proceeded to ignore the man he considered the world's filthiest traitor, "For taking care of her while I was gone."

"Better be the last I see of you," he mumbled, but the way Bertholdt flinched a little told his girlfriend that he'd overheard the venomous words.

Before she could break any possible spat that might occur between the two, and without even taking notice of the fact that the doctor Bertholdt had dragged along with him was nowhere to be found anyways, Connie's voice interrupted.

"It's Erwin's signal," he scowled, head raised as he glanced up at the sky, looking for something that the couple couldn't see, "We've got to go, can't waste any time. The plan should be executed by now."

With a nod, the other two gathered their haphazardly strewn equipment from the ground, dusting them as they reattached them to their suits. The new parents watching over their child who slept soundly against the woman's chest with pure adoration, they paid them no mind as the three began to squabble in hushed voices over something.

Soon enough, the small family was shaken out of their little world as the familiar sound of ODM gear cut through the night air.

"Get to somewhere safe," Sasha gave the vague advice as she lifted her makeshift gun, though the couple knew that the words were directed at them all, even if she'd internally wished the man to drop dead, "This part of the internment zone probably won't be safe for a long while."

With a nod, the young father agreed, "We're probably going to move out to the edge of the town."

Connie's voice grew further away as the metal wire began to pull him up, a small smile on his face without looking back, "And who knows, we might be back to see the little kid someday."

Choking on her words as she felt a deep feeling of melancholy settle down inside her, she said, "Y-yeah, I think he'd like that."

Having stayed behind for last, Jean paused as he adjusted the buckles on his gear, a chilly look directed towards Bertholdt, before he turned back to the girl he'd once considered a close friend, features softening, "If anything ever happens, you've got a home back in Paradis. With us."

Before she could even manage a gentle laugh and reassure him that as much as she appreciated his offer, she implicitly trusted her boyfriend, his mullet was soon up in the air without a second glance, what seemed like a conflicted look on his face before he vanished into the distance, the sight of the inseparable trio after all these years quickly becoming nothing more than a mere memory to her.

And Bertholdt didn't quite know what to do with himself. Fret over every single detail about the birth that he'd missed in his hurry to find a doctor? Turn his old comrades' vitriol over and over in his mind and have it haunt his nights as their hatred always did to him? Dote over his lover's limp form and shower her in affection and affirmation, in hopes of reassuring both her and himself?

He didn't know. He never quite knew what the right thing to do was. His moral compass was every bit as fucked up as the people he'd considered devils claimed it was; that much he knew for sure. It was his daily internal battle; figuring out which path to take in the smallest aspects of life, and whether or not it would be considered the "right" decision further down the line.

A soft cry interrupted his whirring thoughts, and he was shaken out of his stupor by a small fist curling around his pinky finger. Pale green eyes welled up with tears he couldn't stop from coming, and he could only do his best to hold back the sobs as his newborn son clung to him as best as he could. His newborn son; the life he'd created with the woman he loved moreso than life itself---the one person he wanted to become the man he never was able to be.

"We'll be fine, right?" he choked out, rubbing his stubble against her cheek gently, earning a fond giggle as he embraced her even tighter from behind, the world apart from the small bench they sat on falling into background noise, "We're gonna be okay, yeah?"

"Silly man," she breathed out, eyes fluttering shut as her breath began to even out, her sheer exhaustion taking the reigns of her consciousness, "I didn't doubt for a second that we will."

After the encounter he refused to question further, he remembered all his failures, shortcomings, and sins that left his nose banged up, and a sour taste in his mouth, like the detestable aftertaste of medicine that never quite wore off. But when she dozed off in his arms, safe and sound with his newborn son that he already adored to pieces within mere minutes of meeting his small self that almost mirrored the couple, he felt an odd warmth and happiness overlap inside of him with his jumbled emotions.

He could only describe the feeling as being bittersweet.

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