#i mostly just want to get into fear & hunger tbh

[kindheartedgummybears]

you wanna know what??

I am

TIRED

of overmasculinized werewolves!!!!

I WANNA SEE A

WEREWOLF

WALKING AROUND IN A CVNTY LITTLE OUTFIT!!! WALKING THE STREETS!!!! DISEMBOWELING CREATURES!!!!

I WANNA SEE WEREWOLVES COVERED IN BLOOD AND GORE WHILE WEARING A SHORT SKIRT AND CROPTOP WITH HELLO KITTY ON IT!!!!

I WANNA SEE A WEREWOLF WALKING AROUND IN COTTAGE AND FAIRY AND PRINCESS CORE OUTFITS!!!!!! WITH A DEAD MANGLED RABBIT IN ITS MOUTH!!!!

AND MAKE THE WEREWOLF

D I S G U S T I N G ! ! !

[abeluser]

things i have 2 get into bc my mutuals/friends like it in no particular order:

1. danganronopa

2. fear & hunger

3. disco elysium

4. postal

5. the stanley parable

6. half-life

7. life is strange 2

8. dhmis

9. bg3 (already started i just keep forgetting to go back to it lol)

10. pathologic

11. penumbra

12. the crow (read the comic. Gotta watch the movie)

13. watership down film after having read it

14. The exorcist (1973)

[abditorial]

You def fed the people with the dry humping post LAWD 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

May I humbly request a continuation with inumaki 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

The song says lady boner gone but tbh lady boner is definitely still here…

Since you asked so humbly! 🤭

YOUR ACTIONS ARE DOING ALL THE ASKING,

I CAN FEEL YOUR BODY TREMBLING.

More dry humping ♥︎

FT. Toge Inumaki

X READER

WARNINGS: 18+, AFAB reader, Toge says actual words that aren’t verbs like “yes” “okay” and so on, semi-public sex, eventual penetration, creampie, not proofread (i’ll do it later leave me alone…)

It was just like Gojo to make a big deal about his own birthday. Plan a huge surprise party for himself at one of, if not the, most expensive restaurants in Tokyo and offering to pay for everyone who showed up as well as inviting all his students and co-workers. While he was rather charming, most of his friends tended to come from work or were his students and half of them found him annoying so he basically had to bribe you all to show up.

As expected you were sitting at one end of the table with the rest of the second years, which really only consisted of your boyfriend, Maki, and Panda. Yuta was still overseas… Lucky bastard getting to skip an awkward dinner party that was mostly just Gojo and Itadori having loud conversations about nothing important while the rest of you whispered amongst yourselves.

“Toge, what do you plan on getting?” Communication was hard as his lover, because you had to be careful what you asked and he had to be careful how he responded. Verbs weren’t allowed in day to day conversations because he feared he’d accidentally end up using his cursed speech on you. This was a simple question, though. He could answer truthfully without consequences. But he didn’t; Your boyfriend fell silent.

This piqued your curiosity and you lifted your gaze away from the menu to make sure everything was alright. However, you found yourself blushing profusely when you were met with a look that could only be described as hunger. Hunger for you. He was nearly undressing you with his eyes, letting his gaze drift all over your body and take in how gorgeous you looked in your nice low cut top and jeans that hugged your hips perfectly. The way the necklace he got you rested on your collarbone and dragged all his attention to your chest.

“Toge!” You whisper yelled at him, glanced around the table to make sure nobody was watching, and then gestured to the obvious tent in his pants. He finally looked away to where you could only see the tips of his ears going red. “Really? Now?”

“Salmon…” The way he said it was very pathetic, because he knew he should be slightly ashamed but all he could think was the dirtiest of thoughts.

“…” You gave a huff and leaned in to whisper, “I’ll meet you in the bathroom in like five minutes.” Don’t forget the light smack on the arm and a “hurry up!”

Exactly five and a half minutes passed when you were excusing yourself from the table and rushing off to the bathrooms. You had never been to this restaurant, and to your dismay the only options were bathrooms with various stalls, meaning you were very much at risk of being caught. After successfully sneaking you inside the men’s restroom, Toge had pulled you both in the furthest stall from the entrance. He had no problem finding out what he wanted from you, because he was also positioning you just right.

Your ass flush to his crotch, which was still raging hard and seeming like it didn’t plan on ‘deflating’ any time soon. You pressed your palms up against the stall door to keep yourself steady while you bent over because if anyone knew how much Toge enjoyed seeing your spine arch to amplify how plump your bottom was it was you. As expected, he was already giving a low groan of his approval.

Starting off at a slow pace, his hips were moving just like they would if he was really inside you, feeling your warmth. Shit, if it weren’t for the fact you guys were at your teacher’s birthday party maybe he wouldn’t have hesitated to take what he wanted. But since he was such a gentleman he figured he would avoid making such a big mess around all your guys’ friends.

A whine fell from your lips, and almost instantly he had leaned over your bent figure to cover that pretty mouth with his hand, grunting a low “Roe,” in your ear that was pretty clear it meant ‘shut up’. Of course he couldn’t really say that, Toge was too addicted to the soft moans you made to make you silence yourself entirely.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to focus on anything but the feeling of his hard on poking at your ass, or how his cold hands were pressed against your tummy, sliding up your shirt to make you shiver and squirm. He was damn near panting in your ear, trying to keep his mouth shut about how badly he wanted to be inside you or to feel your mouth around his cock to keep it warm.

“Toge,” You whined as quietly as you could. You didn’t want to get caught. How embarrassing would it be for a friend to walk into the bathroom and catch you two in the act, hearing your voice and knowing automatically what was happening? He grunted as a response, another way to tell you to keep your voice down. “Please, Toge…” But on the other hand, your begging was so cute. “I want you inside me so bad.” Well, if anything this night has told you how easily you can make him hard.

He pressed his lips to your neck, trying to resist your request and instead just focus on leaving you sweet kisses. Yet he couldn’t hold back from the way you grinded back onto him, your every movement clearly desperate. With a huff, your boyfriend straightened himself out and made quick work of your clothes. Fingers carefully yanking your jeans down by the belt loops, hissing when he noticed the circular stain in your panties that told him everything he needed to know. He teasingly brushed his hand against you, cupping your sex and letting his hand drag upwards over your ass and to the waistband of your underwear, taking his sweet time to slide them off and let them drop to your ankles.

You were trying to be silent when he initially slid himself in, but good god did you miss the feeling of him being inside you. The feeling was clearly mutual too, because he was, once again, hunched over with his face buried in your neck to stifle his little, pathetic whines. As much as he wanted to lose himself and just rail you like it was all he knew how to do, every thrust was slow and passionate to avoid making so much noise.

“Can I-?” You didn’t let him finish his sentence, because you already knew what he was going to ask and what your answer was going to be. With the nod of your head, he was pulling back to hold either side of your ass, rutting his hips forward as far as he could before painting your insides white.

It was quite awkward shuffling out of the restaurant with only the excuse that “something came up” while you were trying to not let his cum spill from your panties. That ‘something’ being your boyfriend’s dick. Again.

If Inumaki was talking with someone and he told them to go fuck themself as a joke would they actually do it??

It’s a little hard to write for Inumaki because I have to avoid phrases that can be seen as instructions or taken literally. But it’s worth it because I love him

As always, requests are open!!

[bratphilia]

william afton nsfw alphabet i beg 🙏🙏 btw i love your blog you're doing god's work <33333

note: so um. i literally told michy, and i quote, "i cannot outdo the doer i fear" bc her william nsfw alphabet was so mf good like i was really worried i would not be able to come up with something original. so if you see any similarities to this!! it's her's!!

taglist: @dilfity

a = aftercare

not really affectionate. depends on who you are to him tbh. if you're just a fling/fuck buddy, you're pretty disposable to him (just gonna be blunt) therefore he's usually more concerned about himself. however if you're his wife you are allowed exactly one peck on the lips. he usually hits you with a cheesy one liner that's supposed to be comforting regardless.

b = body part

ass man ass man ass man. his favorite place to pull out on. he loves to spank you watch it jiggle as well as you jolt. loves to grab on it, snap the band of your panties on, bend you over his lap, etc.

c = cum

must. finish. inside. will buy you plan b, or just pull out on your stomach, titties, or, his favorite, your ass, but only if he has to (ie you're quite a taboo couple that may never see each other again). loves to paint your face after you suck his dick.

d = dirty secret

wants to hold a knife to your throat and make you call him william. he gets so tired of hearing you cry "steve!" that he just mostly makes you call him "daddy" or "sir." either that or he wants to try a cnc scenario where he's hunting you down as william.

e = experience

a lot of experience. if you have no experience, he just can't help but want to ease you into every little kink of his!! and if you're experienced? he likes that too because he wouldn't have to teach you to do everything.

f = favorite position

doggy style because he loves to see your ass bounce, especially when you look back at him and thrust backwards. it will have him thrusting into you even harder. also loves mating press and grasping onto your thighs so you have little free will. he loves any situation where you're completely at his disposal.

g = goofy

not goofy at all. this is serious business.

h = hair

very shaven!! he has a happy trail but shaves his pubes.

i = intimacy

even if it's rough, it feels intimate (hence why it can never be funny to have sex with him). loves to press his forehead against yours and force you to look into his eyes as he pumps into you.

j = jack off

takes pictures with and without your consent for masturbation material. he'll even go onto your social media and stroke himself to pictures of you with friends or family (zoomed in on you ofc) ITS FUCKING WEIRD. he jacks off literally at any opportunity he can find.

k = kink

loves it when you call him daddy. no questions asked. he loves the power dynamic it creates. has a huge degrading kink. expect to be called "slut" and "whore" AND he loves to be degraded by getting called a "pervert" or a "dirty old man." has a huge age kink, once again, loves the seniority.

l = location

anywhere and everywhere. he doesn't have a bucket list or anything but he just has to have you wherever he pleases! even if you're not totally onboard with it, he'll find other ways to convince you.

m = motivation

he just has high libido. point blank.

n = no

would immediately stop if you asked him to call you "mommy" or got way too cocky while he lets you have a little fun dominating him for once.

o = oral

he loves forcing his cock down your throat and fucking your face, don't get me wrong! but he loves smothering his face in and making out with your cunt. it's to the point where it's not about you and more about him satiating his personal hunger.

p = pace

depends on what he needs and william's mood varies minute by minute. if he's angry, expect it to be taken out on you with many spanks landed on your ass, hand in your hair, and all kinds of degrading insults thrown at you. if he's feeling more in the mood, he'll go slow and torture you, filling you up inch by inch, edging you, and making you beg him for your orgasm.

q = quickie

not a fan. must fuck you fully or not at all.

r = risk

does not want kids. he's very upfront about that. so even if he comes inside you, he's very very sure that you take a contraceptive.

s = stamina

has insane stamina for his age. will fuck you like a rabbit for hours.

t = toys

LOVESSS to torture you with all kinds of vibrators and dildos. wants to try tying all your limbs and holding a vibrator to your cunt to see how much you can take.

u = unfair

read above. he's also very much into bondage. loves to restrain your body and eat you out nice and slow, making sure his beard scratches in all the right places.

v = volume

depends on your disposition. more often than not he takes it as a compliment if you scream. but if you need to be quiet (cough cough stepdad!william) he'll stuff your panties in your mouth, choke you so you get the message, or just clap a hand over your mouth and threaten to "make you shut the fuck up" if you don't.

w = wild card

wants to try a threesome with a younger man to show him how a real man fucks. only rule is that he absolutely has to pull out, or else he's going "missing"

x = x-ray

you know what they say about big hands. mans is HUNG. he definitely gets more swollen as he gets hard too.

y = yearning

like i said, his libido is extremely high at all times. even in the most wrong situations. he even gets hard watching you genuinely upset/crying over something and asks if he can compensate to make you "feel better."

z = zZz

doesn't really care about waiting until you fall asleep. personally believes sleep is for the weak and there's so much he hasn't done yet.

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

Im so normal about this man I swear

vampire spawn!tav x astarion

rated: m (just to be safe tbh)

mostly this all inspired by dnd vampire spawn character sheets and vtm vampire stuff

It is rare but not unheard of for the hunger, the cost of eternity binding all vampires, turns some into feral beasts. Some become mindless-- Most become mindless thralls used like cannon fodder-- But some embrace it. When the hunger becomes too much, when you are near the brink of death, when threatened into a corner: the beast comes out. A roaring lion lurking in the shadows with claws out and teeth bared, he has to admit that part of you had unnerved him. Feral beasts are not so easily controlled, especially when he was not the one who turned you.

But he found a way to slip a collar on you.

When the beast becomes too much when you slaughtered the goblins in the Blighted Village. Climbing on walls, claws ripping into foul flesh, when fangs are used to only tear apart throats. You were in a dazy, the state of in-between sanity and hunger-driven insanity.

He brought you back, with that charming smile and sweet poisonous voice-- You fear he has you ensnared as your master has. He was-- is-- Handsome and you easily fell for the gentleman who showed interest in you. Small village, a person who wanted to fly out of the nest, and a fancy-dressed man who promised to show the world if you trusted him. You trusted him like you trust the vampire who smiles like an actor performing in the show of his life. Maybe, no, he is doing just that.

Back at camp, you praise the Gods no one saw you. You had bathed, skin still raw from the scrubbing and smell of citrus from the bath oil you crafted. The armor is a mess for the blood but that is not unusual. You pray the blood either dries and flakes off or is washed off by the rain at some point. Returning to camp in your campsite clothes with the white-haired rogue who plays it off as ‘friendly chat’ does not make you happy. The only friend of sorts is Shadowheart. Maybe because you respected her beliefs and she respected you in return, who knows, you just know you need to seek her out. A follower of Shar is comforting when she talks about the teachings of loss… To let go.

Darkness and loss go hand in hand.

There is a nudge in your mind, a soft nudge as you smile and brush off the worry in Wyll’s voice.

You know his touch in your mind, the way it brushes against you like the way the hands of a lover subtlety hint for the other to find them later.

Only he is not your lover and if you were mean-spirited, you would call him your blood donor.

Instead, you are grateful to him and you let him slip into your mind. A whisper, a hit of concern, and an excuse for you to make later.

Later comes too soon.

“I don’t know. It sometimes just happens.” He is not happy, he thinks you are trying to starve yourself because of guilt. “I was one moment walking and then…”

You show him, bare yourself for judgment. When you go back to kick your feet slowly in the river with the kindred beside you carefully sitting close but not too close to the river to get wet. When the memory shared ends with seeing him holding your face he sighs.

“I am no teacher,” Throwing his hands in the air, “Honestly, most would be rampaging and be killed by a hunter.” You frown upon hearing those words. When will you go too far? When will Wyll have to turn his blade to you? “There has to be--”

“I’m scared.”

Those red eyes fall to you, slightly wide open not expecting you to outright say something so vulnerable. The silence that follows is one from shock, Astarion lying on the ground staring up at the night sky with too many stars for his liking. His hand folded over his stomach.

“We will figure this out.” He needs you on his side, better to be in pairs than in a pack against him, or you because they will not just stop at you. “Trust me.” Being kind is odd and you laugh so softly the sound of the river nearly drowns it out. Turning your head in his direction next to you, a pat of your hand on his hand.

“Of course, as far as you want.”

[sloshys]

HI FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THERE ARE OTHER DAAN/O'SAA SHIPPERS OUT HERE????? PLEASE TELL ME ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS IM FUCKING DESPERATE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BEGGING YOU

My little fucking guys

Im so fucking bad when it comes to writing hcs or character analysis. Im going to try it out but i hope someone who’s a writer and whos interested this pairing gets to explain it all better than i can.

Everything under the cut theres some talk about sex at the end but its brief

I want to preface this that despite the fact that im very much into shipping every time i enter a new fandom i dont think any termina characters were able to directly confess their feelings to eachother. They simply have too much going on in mind, too busy surviving or hardly trust eachother. Despite the amount of events happening, i think only 3 days is super short amount of time for these guys to truly be sure of their feelings for eachother and dont have time to think over it ( only Samarie truly makes sense to me cuz she knew Marina before that even if its one sided)

Their parallels

Both of them were doomed to grow up fast in order to survive because of political and religious circumstances that neither had control over. Daan lost his family because they were fervent Sylvian worshippers, and Osaa grew in the chaos of the religious wars ravaging his country (perhaps that's how he lost his father in the process, but that's just a theory). Also, their respective situations parallel each other as they focus on both the traces of the old gods Sylvian (Daan’s parents being bunnymask cultists) and Gro-goroth (war and chaos in Abyssonia). It doesn't mean anything in particular about the characters themselves, but these two old gods did complete each other.

They both had an advanced education with Daan being an apprentice butler and modern medicine while O’saa studied spirituality and religion.

During adulthood, they both went through unspeakable horrors. For Daan, it was war; he only managed to keep his sanity with the letters he exchanged with Elise. For O'saa, it was being haunted by nightmares and his exploration of the dungeon of fear and hunger. These events traumatised them, and they had their own ways to cope with them, but Daan is visibly depressed.

Both seem to have an interest in fashion as they are self conscious on the way they dress. (Daan hates dirtying his clothes and O’saa likes being complimented on them)

Oh so youre both men with two “a ” in your names

Interpretation and headcanons

-O'saa had several people unknowingly open up about their problems at the confessional booth. Daan, who was wandering alone in the church with his thoughts eating him up, decided to give it a go, even if he wasn't religious, even if no one would respond. Part of him felt like it was sort of therapeutic. But to his surprise, someone did respond on the other side of the booth. Daan’s interest perks up when he notices the lack of professionalism from what he would assume to be a priest. They were judgmental and cold, but also understanding and interested at the same time. The rational thoughts of someone who doesn’t follow a specific belief and has their own morals they want to stand by. Yeah nothing like a priest Daan also hears some sort of familiarity with the voice and slowly realises who owns it. Daan would start playfully answering questions until O’saa couldn't keep up his identity. Unlike the other participants, he doesn't come out of the booth laughing; it’s just Daan looking at him smugly while the yellow mage’s expression is between disappointment and irritation. But regardless, they did have a nice talk in there, not that either of them would admit it.

-tbh a lot of their relationship is a back and forth one of them making a joke, the other roll their eyes and they would reply with “why are you always so serious???”

-O’saa secretely likes making Daan laugh. He keeps telling himself because his humor is more of his taste but its mostly cuz Daan always looks so gloomy

-Actually, these two don't know how to express their emotions. Daan sees how distant O’saa is from everyone and kind of wants him to be able to settle in with the group. O'saa, who doesn’t like to show his sympathy, still tries to make Daan laugh at times because he seems worryingly miserable and sad (his own jokes tend to make him laugh more than Daan, however). They just try to cheer each other up in the most complex brain gymnastic game by poking fun and making bad jokes with the worst timing possible, which mostly confuses the both of them more than anything else.

- O’saa doesnt like Daan’s smoking and drinking habits. But he does admit that it gives him a certain charm and the drinks he makes for him

-When O’saa revealed the identity of the Sulfur god to Daan there was this sting of empathy he felt for him despite Nas’hara’s scolding. And didn’t want to reveal to much not just for the sake of forbidden otherworldly knowledge but to spare him from such heavy info when he’s already going though so much grief.

-Daan was, deep down, extremely grateful for O’saa sharing his knowledge. When they met later, he insisted on taking care of O'saa's wounds after he was shot by August’s arrows. But O’saa is always on guard and asks Daan to take his vest off while he holds on to it and his scalpel. He will grab the back of his neck, warning Daan that If he tries anything funny, he will deal him a fatal blow. Despite the fact that it was supposed to create tension, the two were never this physically close to each other before…

-Daan would notice O’saa fragrance and Osaa would notice Daan’s lipstick

-Now sex is a difficult topic. Something that forces them into a state they so desperately tried to avoid their whole lives. The feeling becoming undone by sharing something with someone special or showing vulnerability. A primal feeling, feeling alive. They had a quick fuck to release steam. They try to convince themselves that its for personal satisfaction or giving a helping hand but it ever hardly felt like that. They still had this connection they refused or couldn’t to share with spoken words. It never went too far, but it was never bad. Quite the contrary, the sex was good but always too short

-O’saa realised he had developped a worshipping kink because of Daan. But Daan noticed it much earlier.

[smokbeast]

Im a lil sads but I'm thinking about some cute ideas for my horror sans.

I might call him fang or Tar? I'm not sure,, something to do with his silly teeth. Or a meaningful name I'm not sure. But some of my headcanons for him are like:

-he acts really tough guy and creepy, but he's really just a softie. Kinda nervous when someone is genuine with him. He's not quite used to affection or friendship. Tends to avoid it out of guilt or fear of it going wrong so he's a bit cold at first impressions.

-tends to be really aloof, always staring off zoning out. He has bad dissociation episodes that become difficult to get out of but papyrus (or soma,,) helps bap him back to reality.

- has bad imsonia and when he sleeps its always nightmares that cause him to spiral his magic out of control at times in his room. Sometimes he has magic outbursts cause of the Crack and loss of his eye. Making it hurt when they happen at night.

- when a hunger drive hits him, he's lost all control of himself if he's starving. Especially when he's craving flesh. It's been difficult to adjust to the surface because of these so he tends to avoid humans completely and just stick to the shadows away. He does try to eat regularly when he can but the habit of being stuck underground starving for so long has him forgetting to eat sometimes

- he loves sweets! Candy, juice, fizzy soda. All sorts of drinkable soft drinks he'll get his claws on. His favorite food is also vegetables (anything with tomato is gonna be devoured lol) and seafood (courtesy of a fellow someone teaching him to fish and maybe out of spite,,).

-he likes to read in his spare time. Science fiction novels or research papers. Needs glasses to read cause that eye don't see too well so you'll catch him like some dad under a light on the couch reading.

- he likes jokes but hasn't really told any in a while. The pun love has kinda shit itself out the window over the rough years but you'll know when you real close to him when he starts cracking a bunch of puns near you. He only ever does that with people he likes and trusts.

- is very patient and a good listener. Loves hearing people he cares about talk about their day or interest. You'll catch him smiling at some point as you ramble away and he's absolutely still listening, just enthralled at how happy it makes the person to talk about things.

-will literally pick you up if your tired without second guessing to take you to the nearest couch or bed.

-very protective of others, being the oldest between his au counterparts. Horror sees sans and fell like younger versions of himself (they are tbh,, he's in his late thirties). He'll always keep an eye on them even when they try to fight other. Mostly fell when he starts it. He reminds him of papyrus when he was an Itty bitty kid so he feels big brother mode the most on fell, sans is like the middle brother he never thought he wanted. The guy makes his day with the jokes and it has horror smiling to know sand got thr good ending and fell too.

-will kill for papyrus no questions asked. That's his brother he'll protect and do his best for..

-Soma Soma Soma. Oh God Soma, what's there to say.

[volaile]

tagged by my brother @beesnutz :P

last song you listened to: descent by fear factory

last movie you watched: the new hunger games!! went to see it at the cinema with two friends :) it was good, unsettling exactly where it needed to be (which was. most of the time LOL) and its managed to pull off the 'act as a standalone but still have room for a sequel if someone wanted to' balance v well. and id watch a sequel! but overall i cant lie i prefer the original trilogy...

currently watching: house md on my own, im on season 7 rn and [spoilers] have finally left huddy hell. i love masters btw my friend masters ❤️she just had her first main pov ep and it was a good un. im also watching doctor who when mine gustes and peris schedules line up, and also taskmaster with guste :)

other things you’ve watched this year: ummmm lots but some of my faves are still across the spiderverse, also limitless and alien, and also american psycho but thats sort of from last year, i watched it nye with nami and it hit 2023 like halfway through for me LOL

currently reading: money by martin amis!! its good ive read time's arrow by him before too. he's got a fun way of writing but idk how i feel about him putting himself as a character in this one lol???!!! also i guess i technically have a few other books on the go too but tbh im not actively reading them... btw if anyone wants my goodreads send me a dm !!! i would love more friends on there

currently listening to: my albums 2023 playlist which is um. 1500 songs strong still. i swear ive listened to plenty its just that i keep adding more oopsy doopsy

currently working on: editing my longish nrmts fic so that i can finally start the last three out of ten chappys.... problem is is that im doing this mostly at work when the bars quiet LOL. im also trying to draw more frequently!! ive made it as easy and low stakes as possible for myself (using a biro in some small lined notebook, means i dont get fixated on making things look perfect and also means i dont need to fill up too much space to finish a full page) but its still a habit in progress ....

current obsession: honestly probably the gym. im following what i guess based on exercises and number of sets and reps would be considered a powerbuilding program?? october saw me doing proper strength building work for the first time Ever rather than just hypertrophy/muscle building and ive finally started doing bench press using an actual barbell rack set up!!! and i really like it :P

ok thats it thank u. all the crans my lovely crans have been tagged i believe so i'll also tag @sevenyeargap @bardicspiration and @adultfiendfinder ❤️ and anyone else who wants to do it go hog wild ok byeeee

[russeliarat]

Life Update for 12th May

I have so much coursework to do that it's taken up a large portion of my life but tbh I have nothing but my ADHD and laziness to blame lol. I have 3 huge assignments due by the end of next week, a biology mock exam to revise for in 2 days, and a social life to keep up with :'] It's all fine though coz I get to go to Alton Towers theme park after my actual biology exam is done on 7th June. It's starting to become summer now and there's a heatwave right now so I'm able to do more stuff, if you wanna see what the system is up to, I have an instagram I'll happily give to people?

Also I've gotten into Avatar (2009) and Avatar Way of Water, the Metkayina clan from the latter low-key high-key reminds me of the Zora from LoZ so that's probably a part of why I like it tbh. Very good movies, the worldbuilding is phenomenal, the linguistics is an absolute treasure trove to explore, and I don't usually like love stories or romcoms but I think Way of Water definitely managed to explore different kinds of love and hate in an easily digestible way and has some very morally grey characters with complex motives. I like it 10/10, will probably read fanfics of it on ao3 later (probably even the bad Wattpad ones for fun too)

And me being me, I made an oc for it too coz I can't engage with a piece of media if I don't have an oc obviously. Her name is Mizawt, she's a part of the Metkayina clan if you haven't noticed, and I'll probably make some posts about her later coz I want to.

Speaking of media and ocs and sketchbooks, I've finally finished my big sketchbook and have moved onto using an A3 sketchbook for big character design work and a tiny plain paper sketchbook I got from my college for doodling. I have an original story fusing Filipino mythology and the Princess Diaries and Aphmau MyStreet for fun with my boyfriend :]

Other fandom stuff; excited for Chonny Jash's newest song to release tomorrow-ish, getting back back into Fear & Hunger and the first game is still my favourite (mostly just coz of how simple it is to master and understand) I hope Miro was able to recover most of their lost update progress from last year, my friends are getting me into Invincible and JJK (mostly the two boys in my friend group - omg yes I have irl friends now and it's a big group of friends and I love them all, college has turned out NOTHING like highschool (uh thanks to anyone who's stuck around who knew the mess I was in highschool I'm a lot better now)), and UK moth fandom still revelling over that new moth discovered literally December.

[haemosexuality]

I SPENT LIKE AN HOUR THINKING ABOUT A LN NIGHTMARES X MAGNUS ARCHIVES CROSSOVER  🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 AND THEN ANOTHER HOUR WRITING IT DOWN 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥

specifically like, what entities would each character be part of

first off: in my brain this is like, a world in which the powers succeeded at coming into reality, and the different places we see are kind of like.... different domains? but overall less separate than they are in the tma canon, its all sort of a mess. also obv since its a crossover au its quite different from my interpretation of how the ln world works.

PALE CITY

mono/the thin man: obviously my first thought was immediately "EYE" but if you think about it he's WAY more spiral than eye. he can mess with reality, with perception. quite literally he distorts things. he is glitches and time fuckery. 100% spiral

the signal tower is a SpiralxEye mix, with the physical location of the tower itself being a manifestation of the Spiral, while the weird eye flesh thing is an obvious mix of Beholding with a touch of Flesh.

the tower fucks up reality, time and space, its full of impossible geometry and distorted things and time not working right. it wants to confuse and trap you, and unless you know what youre looking for (mono following the music box), ur gonna be running in circles in there forever (like how michael and helen managed to overcome the distortion bc they had maps).

the flesh walls does surveillance, it can watch the whole city through the televisions, it gets people by Knowing what they want most and showing it to them, and eventually pulling them through the TVs and into itself (the Flesh part). it watches the entire city and no one is safe from it.

the city is then mixed Spiral-Beholding domain,  the signal tower spread fear through the city with the transmission, distorting it, and then the flesh wall came in and hijacked it a bit, starting the surveillance.

the doctor: 100% stranger. its mannequins come to life cmon. the people that went to him tho were mostly affected by the flesh, unhappy w their bodies and wanting the doctor to "fix" them (the part of the flesh that deals with body dysmorphia).

hunter: the hunt. obviously

the teacher/school: this one im not sure, but i think Eye? not so much for six and mono who just kind of passed through there, but for the porcelain kids living there. like think about it, theyre all terrified of the teacher bc they know shes watching them and could get them doing something wrong. irl too, the fear of school comes from the paranoia that youre gonna be judged by other students, or Found Out by the teachers. so i like that as my final answer

the viewers: i have no clue tbh. they could be so much. they have both the eye and the spiral hypnotizing them, they fit the stranger cuz well theyre fucking weird, the whole hive mind thing they appear to have going on and the lack of free will reminds me of the web, and the mindless violence is very slaughter? i actually rlly liked the slaughter answer bc the tvs, the things hypnotizing them, are often playing music which is a common way the slaughter manifests? but that would mean tvs are slaughter ON TOP of everything else so idk

THE MAW

obviously its the flesh. theres not much going on in here besides cannibalism. Six, the chefs and the guests are also flesh.

shadow six could be a manifestation of the spiral, it Was created in the signal tower after all. its there to make six question her sanity. six's hunger exists for the same reason as it does in game (surviving the tower when people Definitely are not supposed to made her lose part of herself, like her spirit or soul or whatever, and so her physical body not being able to process something metaphysical like that, seeks to fill that empty space somehow. hm losing a part of your Self after surviving an encounter with an avatar is a thing that happens in the podcast actually, georgie and her fear. its kind of like that)

the lady tho, initially id say shes flesh too since she runs the place, but idk how much she actually... does? the maw seems to have its own force going on, shes just kind of there. strolled in one day and said Hey I Rule This Now and everyone just went Sure. and she herself doesnt seem to have much interest in the whole cannibalism thing going on? she doesnt Partake she just oversees it. I think the lady fits the dark very well, she can disappears into shadows or even kind manipulate them. she also fits the end since she literally has the power so suck life force out of ppl. which is probably how she survives, like that one statement giver who kept dying and stealing ppl lives. WAIT I JUST READ HER WIKI PAGE AGAIN AND SHES DESCRIBED AS "CASTING A HYPNOTIC SPELL THAT KEEPS [THE MAW] RUNNING" THATS SO WEB. theres so many possibilities aaaaaa. wait i have an idea.

"The Lady has been in The Maw for a long time. She’s learned all sorts of unpleasant things during her residence. It’s best that we don’t scratch the surface.". what if she's like mary or leitner? she has a huge fuck off library, which might be where she learned so many things from. she could be someone (maybe an avatar of the web) that learned how to use abilities of all the fears without falling into them. which is why she can sap out people's life like The End, manipulate shadows like The Dark, rule a domain of the Flesh, watch over people with the Eye (the cameras and overall eye imagery) etc. i really like that actually.

the janitor: idk stranger? he works at the maw but he also doesnt seem part of the whole cannibalism thing. hes mostly portrayed as a creepy guy (not in a great way bc the game is just like. wow look how weird blind people are with the way they. are blind. but it does end up being all he does in the game). plus he has dolls

runaway kid wasnt part any fears; he was just a victim.

more random stuff:in general, the way the game makes the kids really small and everything else really really huge to show just how powerless they are is like, capital v Vast. the nest is a domain of the stranger but idk enough about the lore of that place to ascribe fears to indiviual characters. also i havent read the comics in a while but i might do that at some point and then ill give fears for those characters too. thats all i thought of i think

[erratic-brainrot]

Okay so someone was bringing this up before about Wendy rarely having meta done of her, which tbh idk if is really true. But I’ve decided in my sicken state to just make a short piece about her before I attempt to be creatively productive in spite of my hunger that fears the expelling of everything previously eaten. Anyways, lets start this off by saying that my biases with Wendy are objectively that shes a good gal. In all honesty I do compare her to Kyle a lot due to shared over generalized similar feeling I have towards them… but in truth there very different people, and not in the sense of one greater than the other. Though it may be extremely personalized, but she feels so embodying of the role of “playing your part” In some ways, Kyle is like this too, but in the more simplistic ways where he feels like his role is of the moral high ground and martyr— not a healthy concept but don’t worry about it right now. For Wendy a lot of it is actively having to sacrifice things in order to remain wanted within a community. She has to adjust her behaviour in order to be accepted most times by those around her. She is constantly influenced by means of pressure— which is interesting given how outspoken, strong, and determined Wendy is. But often she fall victim towards authority figures and her peers (mostly the girls) in a way that isn’t as important to kyle?

Like Kyle will actively call some random adult to their face stupid without any fucking worry for the most part, even in his efforts to be more compassionate (which are genuine). He doesn’t have the same need of filtering or censorship I feel like Wendy constantly goes through. Which is crazy to me in a way because canonically Wendy has way more in overranking Cartman. Almost every Wendy vs Cartman Episode has her winning. It shows that she does have genuine strength and competitiveness, that isn’t just her being easily squashed unlike Kyle. Its a show of her care more for the general— and very infrequently can she push against everyone (mainly the girls) in her right to stand alone. The most I can think of is the list, which was a conspiracy that had a lot on the line— and not every girl was involved within the conspiracy… and I believe partly it was because it devalued girls as whole and affected Stan and Kyle, and not so much of her reputation with the girls. She would’ve still been welcomed either way? Even if she did unveil all of this shit. Bebe was till her friend even as they were fighting. The risk was different. However, when Wendy is face on being evicted. Things are different. To be iced out into the corner alone always seems to get to her. She has a repeated avoidance of it (not that people like to be isolated or abandoned), but honestly? Its almost in a way that mirrors Stan’s intensities over abandonment— though they don't create as loud of a noise. She will go back on her morals, to not be outcasted… And to me, that alone says so much about Wendy’s character, especially her dynamics role. Despite repeatedly being considered the smartest, notably attractive (literally so many of the boys have expressed a desire to date her. Which idk if its just Matt and Trey wanting a recognizable female? But shawty thats weird as fuck if thats the reason? Like these bitches really out here fantasying about kissing Wendy despite Stan? Lol), and physically quiet strong… shes always the one that is stunned to the side. She doesn’t do a lot of things wrong (more Morden Wendy obviously), but the girls are so quick to turn on her or leave her out of things that… yes could be the underdevelopment of the other girls… but a large part of me doesn’t think its just that. It feels like Wendy constantly actively has to make the choice to behave in a way the boy’s don’t mirror. Like with Heidi 2.0 she actively was like “Just don’t even respond to her. Just ignore her.” Which is honestly really curious to me in the sense of mimicking the boys, Wendy— despite very easily being compared to Kyle— had way more of a Stan role in the femme dynamic. It makes her feel very composed and just trying, like Stan, to follow flow and not get dropped. Both her and Stan both have the same problem of needing to feel aligned with people— even if Stan’s depression within the covid episodes let Stan lose the desire and become avoidant.

They both have such an effort in their display. And both their displays have a gendered undertone to them, at least for me. Stan’s is a little less so, as its more him being toxically masculine and repressing certain traits and pushing other ones. Especially considering how genuinely sensitive, empathetic, and thoughtful he is— originally being written off for these things by being called a hippy. With him avoiding things or upscaling stereotypical ideas of masculinity (though a lot of these examples are by mean of pretend) he doesnt like breaking models in terms of gender, which also hits extra hard, interestingly so, when Stan actively has a gender confusion moment in Cissy. But thats a topic for a different day.

Wendy on the other hand, has this baseline of gender. But it doesn’t feel as focused as Stan where its just the means of conforming to ones gender. It’s why she so easily to relate to for me, where as Kyle simply isn’t. Because Wendy is in constant performance to uphold her place, having to deal with boys saying awful shit to her simply because shes a girl, having to constantly fight ideas of sexism to not be perceived as compliant, but also not pushing too far past it to be seen as over reactive and man-hating, having things that have nothing to do with gender come back to hers, having to defend her demographic as a community, and often fearing her own community rejecting you despite the thought of them being on your side, and the expectation to accept it. She is often times silenced, not allowed to fully express her opinions or thought unless she fights tooth and nail to be heard— even than. She has to be twice the person another is often times to get anywhere… and idk, maybe its my doomer mindset I can occasionally get… but that rings so hurtful and true in even just my existence alone of being afab, much less just in general natural of advantage taking when being kind to someone. it just strikes me a lot, and I would honestly love to hear people talk about this more? I’m sorry if this was everywhere? I wasn’t feeling good but the though of Wendy has been itching my head today, so i thought I would write about here. Thank you kindly.

[angst-and-fajitas]

I posted 2,414 times in 2022

That's 605 more posts than 2021!

411 posts created (17%)

2,003 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@angst-and-fajitas

@totallynotpuri

@flyingfish1234

@pipulp

@foryouthegays

I tagged 2,334 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#mcyt - 378 posts

#pokemon - 272 posts

#emma talks - 214 posts

#technoblade - 130 posts

#hermitcraft - 127 posts

#dream smp - 105 posts

#asks - 87 posts

#save - 85 posts

#video - 78 posts

#philza - 72 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#ive been slowly compiling a bunch of screenshot snips of articles cause i wanna eventually make a piece of wikipedia poetry about this post

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

While musing on that post about Minecraft and the constant presence of portals and themes of escape, I found that I had come to an entirely different conclusion from the same information.

When I picture those unknown, long-gone ancient inhabitants of the Minecraft world that the game implies to have once populated the overworld, I don't get a sense of fear and the need to escape. Mostly, I get a sense of hunger and hubris.

Think about it. As the player, why do you build portals? Why do you go through them? Why do you burrow to the bottom of the world? Is it to get away from the creatures of the overworld, when the monsters and dangers you encounter once you leave that grassy surface are far worse? No. Every time you dig deeper into the universe, it becomes more dangerous. When you make that step, you make it from a need and longing to know what lies beyond. Assuming that those ancient people were beings like the player, why would they have been any different?

Why else would you plunge into fire or into void, if not to find what lies on the other side at any cost?

And yet, the dangers that the ancients found on the other side of every door they built were likely their undoing: netherrack and lava creep like a fungus out from the ruined remains of nether portals. Those who traveled to the End never came back to tell the tale, judging from the lack of loot and the cobwebs in the stronghold. And the Deep Dark..... Is that unknown portal in those ruined cities really an escape route from the skulk and the Warden, or yet another door greedily opened to a new plane, accidentally freeing new horrors that leech out and consume? Like the dwarves of Moria, did they delve too greedily and too deep?

As the player, if you could open that portal too, would it be to escape the Warden? Or would you brave the dark in spite of the Warden, just for the chance to see what lies beyond?

What calls to you? Is it fear of the world above, or is it the siren song of the abyss, drawing you ever deeper?

I think the game speaks for itself, after all:

2,473 notes - Posted June 16, 2022

#4

He was one of my heroes tbh, despite the fact that I've always told myself to "have no heroes" because idolizing people is dangerous business. But he was never my hero because I idolized him, or thought he was perfect, unbeatable, or had a perfect moral compass. It was because I saw so much of myself in him in the sort of way that made me believe in myself.

His dry, deadpanned humor, his big dreams, his struggles with adhd and social anxiety, the English major background and jokes...... He was so much like me, and yet so much brighter, and stronger, and even more determined, that he made me want to do even better. When I was struggling and wondering if I should give up and drop out of college, he was the person I thought of. In his silly videos and the personal bits he told us, he reassured me that it would be ok even if I did have to stop, but also gave me faith that I could succeed despite my problems and failures, and that I should never give up on my dreams.

I hope he knew how much he meant to us. I hope he knew that every time we lamented his absences and teased him for his upload schedules, it was because he brought genuine value to our lives. We will keep missing him, and even more than us will the people who knew and loved him irl. All the work he did for good will live on and keep helping people.

Technoblade never dies💜

2,842 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

#3

HE!!!!!!!!

2,937 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

#2

I wanted to give him ~fancy hair~

2,953 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Fun new activities to do with your Blorbos!

Put them in a snowglobe and shake it

Bake on high until crispy at the edges

Stretch them like saltwater taffy

Hang them from your rearview mirror like fuzzy dice

12,315 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[liltaz-asatreat]

5, 6, 7, and 10 for Meadow? :D

OC question list here!! <- send some in? :D

So this got really long because I never know when to shut up, so I'm putting this under a readmore lol

(Also, I explained some stuff in detail that I've already told you for the benefit of anyone else who might read this lol)

5. What are their regrets?

There's a lot of things Meadow regrets on a daily basis lol But there are quite a few long lasting big ones. Like the obvious enacting the Relic plan, not listening to Lucretia, and not being able to save Phandalin. Then there's two things he regrets from childhood: not running away from home sooner and simultaneously leaving his then six year old cousin whom he was pretty close to. He also regrets spending so much time fighting with himself during the decade post voidfishing and the fact that he was only able to get very little done and caused himself a lot more stress and heartache than was strictly necessary. And the fact that he can't just turn off his brain and go to sleep to escape his thoughts like other people can unless one of his bodies dies. And there's two things that happen during the fic that he comes to regret doing and/or not doing, but those are spoilers >:)

And then the two really big ones is the defining backstory moment of coming across the Word Weaver's Amulet (the Grand Relic they made) and giving it to Astra, their then best friend who I still haven't decided if they're just best friends or if there were romantic feelings involved. Every time I think I've decided on one, I end up changing my mind again, but regardless, they were really close. And Astra said she thought it was beautiful and really wanted it, and when they both came across it, they had been going on a walk to try and cheer Astra up and get her to clear her head because she was having a really bad day, so Meadow, famously unable to say no to anything even though they had the gut feeling that something bad was going to happen, gave it to her. The fallout of how she used the Relic and what exactly transpired is a spoiler, but she definitely dies which is how Meadow ended up with it again, and they've regretted everything ever since.

The second big one is, because during the Stolen Century, they were able to save Meadow's body from the Plane of Logic from the Hunger, and both of his bodies were on the ship for the rest of the century and until Lucretia dropped his Logic Body off in the Faerun's reality's Plane of Logic, Meadow was always up in one body or the other, by nature of that's just how he works, so he was awake when Lup was about to leave the Starblaster for the final time before she disappeared. He saw her before she left, and they had a short conversation where Meadow knew something was wrong, and he thought he helped her to feel better, which in all fairness, he did a little, but Lup still wanted to have some alone time and clear her head down on the planet and then everything that happened afterward happened. So Meadow regrets not stopping her from leaving or at least not going down to the surface with her.

And tbh, because of Meadow being awake 24/7, they had taken it upon themself/was designated to be the person on watch at night throughout the century after both of their bodies were on the ship because all of the others needed sleep and didn't have a fancy shmancy second body to be awake in after going to bed. So because they were up and because they had talked to Lup before she left, Taako mostly, but Barry too to an extent, kind of blamed them for her disappearance. Barry would never say it out loud, but I feel like Taako might have snapped at them once about it, but like, Meadow knew. At that point, they had known them for long enough that they could tell for sure it wasn't just their brain being mean and jumping to conclusions, they were acting a little hostile toward them toward the end there.

6. What are their biggest fears?

Everything lol They're a big ball of anxiety and stress-

No. Well, they are a big ball of anxiety and stress and are a very fearful person, but they aren't afraid of everything.

They are, ironically, very afraid of heights lol The only reason they agreed to go on the Starblaster mission was because they couldn't pass up the opportunity to go to space and explore the space between the planes and do all of that cool stuff. As soon as the opportunity came up, that was basically all they wanted to do and the thing they wanted to get most out of life because they love the stars and space and exploring and everything about it! And how they figured they could get around the height issue was that they could just stay away from the railing and stay toward the center of the ship, and maybe if there wasn't a ground or a metric in which to gauge how high up he'd be, he would be fine.

I think during the century he learned how to push past it mostly out of necessity, but by the time they made it to Faerun, and Material Meadow lost his memories, his issue with heights hit him full force again tenfold, and he has to fight to remain calm while traveling in the cannonball spheres and looking down from the moon base and all that lol

Then, of course, he has a normally paralyzing fear of failure that he has to push through to get literally anything done in the story and honestly, during the century.

And then they never had a good working memory before the voidfishing, so they already hated the idea of losing any more memories. The voidfishing exasperated that into a full blown near phobia of losing memories, especially really important ones.

And then there's the fear of losing everyone and everything permanently and the fear that everyone is going to leave him, especially for reasons they refuse to tell him, so he wouldn't understand why they decided to leave him in the first place.

And then there's the double related fears: Falling asleep while they're in danger because someone decided to wake them up on the other side, especially if they refuse to let them go back to sleep, and someone finding out about them having a double and attacking him or leaving him or ostracizing him because they either don't believe him, refuse to take it seriously, or outright hate him for it

7. How do they cope with stress?

LOL

List making! Mental breakdowns! But mostly they write. Poetry for the most part is their form of journaling, but sometimes they just write out their thoughts too. If they have an idea for a short story, they'll work on that too as usually a more maintenance kind of thing and not something they'd do in the moment of feeling very overwhelmed, and they never really have the time to try and write a whole novel or something. At least, for the most part they didn't. There was that short period of time during the decade where they were at the writing guild Lucretia sent them to in the Material Plane, the Ink Spill Guild, where they had the time to work on a novel because they were ignoring the instructions they were leaving for themself that they made when they actually remembered everything. And they might have been working on a novel, idk. Sounds fun and very much something I would do lol But after that, Meadow spent most of their time adventuring, and then when they got up to the moon base, trying to figure out where the second voidfish was and what the plan was going to be then now that they found Lucretia.

As for when they're in the Plane of Logic though, they didn't give themself as much time to write because they were struggling so hard to get their spaceship built and off the ground, both in the physical aspect of actually researching it and doing it and also fighting the paralysis they usually get when they get super stressed and scared/anxious about something. And the whole possibly being the only one of their family who remembers anything besides Lucretia, but only when they're on a plane where they can't really do much about it, and that means they might be the only person with a chance of stopping Lucretia from destroying the Material Plane and putting their family back together thing is kind of really stressful lol

To compensate for that, Meadow throws himself full force into building the spaceship when he's particularly stressed because it's something to do with his hands and is something that is supposed to get him closer to reaching his goal. Sometimes if they're stuck on how to do something to actually continue building onto the ship but can't focus on reading and researching or even thinking really hard, they take apart and put back together some other component that doesn't really need fixing.

He also sometimes lets Sparrow and their friends forcibly drag him away to hang out with them, and that makes him feel better and less alone. Also eventually talking to Barry helps even if when he does it, he doesn't remember their shared history, and Barry can't tell him anything about it yet, and also hanging out with Merle, Magnus, and Taako.

Back on the Starblaster, Taako and Lup also brought them into learning how to bake :>

And then when things are really shitty, sometimes they dissociate and just check out completely. On top of that, sometimes it'll happen as they are in an immediate stressful situation, especially if they're trying to talk to someone, much to their extreme annoyance because it's really hard to fight it off and come back to reality. They very rarely ever succeed at it.

10. Who is someone they miss?

Astra and Lup definitely, and Lucretia and Davenport and all of them. Even when he joins the Bureau and sees most of them again, he misses how their relationships with each other used to be and the fact that none of them, including him while he's actually physically there with them remember except for Barry and Lucretia. It's this weird feeling of simultaneously being super happy to see them while also still feeling very far away and disconnected when he's awake in the Plane of Logic because he's no longer there and he remembers Davenport being able to talk and Lucretia not holding them all at arm's length and lying to them all the time and being able to hug Barry and Lup being there and the other boys sharing almost everything and all of them being a family. He's able to enjoy being in their presence more, for the most part, while he's there and with them because he doesn't remember the history, but that just makes him miss them more when he wakes up and does remember.

They also really miss Fisher, and while they hang out with it and Johann sometimes, it's still not the same. Both because of the memory thing and also because, while it's Lucretia's fault for erasing everyone's memories, Fisher still had the power to do that, and it didn't broadcast it out after realizing no one could remember and that everyone was gone. So there's also a certain level of wariness and fear I think

And then they do miss their parents to an extent. I mean, they're their parents. And there were good times with them while they were growing up. And they also really miss their cousin that they were close to.

Also, even though Meadow is a self insert and I have siblings, I decided against giving Meadow siblings because, well, not only does Meadow run away from home and leave everyone behind when he's 14, but like, the Hunger and the end of the world happened, and it felt really gross and wrong to be like, yeah! Meadow is me and also all of his siblings died tragically during the apocalypse. I just can't do that. But! I needed a child relative substitute that Meadow would have been close to because an event that happens about them is the catalyst of Meadow finally deciding to run away. I felt like having them be a cousin was enough degree of separation for me to be more comfortable with especially since the event is probably only going to be referenced in a passing one sentence comment, if that, during the Chalice scene. So that's why the cousin exists

[2ofswords]

Jason 21, glory 4, rhy 18, ash 30, acorn 39

Jason and Autumn

Autumn is obviously Jason’s favorite season! Mostly because he loathes the summer. (It is unbearably hot (stop wearing all black you moron) and people are trying to get him to swim (shakes hands with Tessie)) In autumn you can see changes happening to the environment and leaves are getting pretty and fall of the trea for them to preserve themselves through hard times and isn’t that a lovely metaphor? :) He actually gets very inspired and a lot of the arena poetry and basic pitches for the projects for future years are made here.

Glory and Fears

Glory obviously develops some heavy abandonment issues after the hunger games, which is also the reason she gave her friends some cell phones. She calls regularly to assure that everyone is alive and okay, once a week at minimum and her sense of object permanence is kind of… gone. She knows everything can get lost and die the moment it leaves her eyes and she has a really hard time dealing with it. Tave gets the most calls and sometimes at night because she assumes the most that he is in danger, but only Car knows of the fear. She figured it out herself (she kinda has the same thing going on since the whole first cake debacle and the second one sure didn’t help) and sometimes Glory asks her to call someone in her stead when she doesn’t want to appear overbearing.

Rhy and Winter

We all already know that Rhy has an entire Christmas album and a cover of “Last Christmas” but let’s think about the implications for a bit. I think the capitol ruined Christmas for him. He liked it a lot back home. There were sweets and everyone was busy but in a fun way and giving your boyfriend hugs in the open was less suspicious because of the Christmas spirit and the snow! Now it is a nostalgic and bitter memory. Work and stress and a weird giddy and forced happiness that is way too familiar.

Ash and Sex

Tbh I don’t think Ash had any sex. They are pretty young and also have some trauma around it. I think they would really need some trust and slow developing relationship before they would be willing to try anything. And even then you have to be careful to not accidentally fuck Coal.

Acorn and Secrets

Obviously Acorn is amazing with secrets. He is a great listener and can keep quiet about something if he has to. Which actually led Tonkin being a bit too good at it in his childhood. Literally everybody sought some sort of advice or an open ear from time to time and little Acorn had a bit of trouble keeping up with it. And so… he just wrote it down. At first as little reminders about who had which Problem and later systematically. It took a while until he noticed he literally made a blackmail collection for his neighborhood and he panicked appropriately. For a while he was afraid about getting rid of it properly but managed to tear it and let the single pages decompose eventually. It felt fitting for him.

[6loodlvstt]

I usually play videogames with no audio cuz when I have it on I get easily bored. For example last month I started pokemon sword and tbh never played it with vol on and when I did that for the first time I was like “? Why the sounds are so annoying?”. Idk probably I’m weird but I get easily overwhelmed with sounds. It’s kinda funny because when I listen to music I listen to black metal/rock in general. But when I’m busy drawing things I like to listen to true crime podcasts. Yeah I’m one of those obsessed with serial killers cases.

And yeah, fear and hunger is just straight up hard. I was surprised the first time but I’m still trying to finish it (I want to die/hj). So far I’m loving sm hades! The character designs are so pretty? Ofc I like Dionysus the most, he was and still is my favorite icon. Just to ask, who’s your fav greek mythological figure? I’m curious. Personally I’m also extremely into the myth of Hyacinth the most. Probably I read too many graphic novels about him ahah. And! Are you perhaps also into egyptian mythology? Since I was a kid I was so obsessed with mummies and the first time I saw one I was so anxious lol.

When I was in school I also had problems at school, mostly because at the time I was the only emo kid and all my classmates were… normal? I liked to dress black, enjoyed spending time writing horror stories and I was a major creepypasta lover. But I genuinely sucked at oral tests. Probably you only had some random quizzes but where I live we also have oral ones. And I fucking hated to speak in front of people. So drawing during classes was a sort of stress relief to my anxiety! So I completely get you :(

This is funny but I always was extremely talented at singing, although at some point I started to find annoying to perform in front of people. And in general the idea of studying in theater looked “uncool” in my teen years. Now I completely changed opinion and I’m a musical fan lol. My family always tried to push me into trying this world in some ways through the years and only some months ago I finally decided to open up. It’s scary tho. You shouldn’t gave up your dreams. Realistically speaking you can start studying in the future if you really want to pursuit violin! ^^

What are you doing now? I hope everything’s going well! <3 -🩹

i always play with audio on since a lot of games i play have audio cues into it, but i understand sometimes the game sounds can be annoying

god me too, to all of the music and the true crime; i mainly liten to true crime at work tho or when im playing minecraft for some strange reason

it sounds like a pain but i so get that,,

my favorite always has been aphrodite and always will be <3

i used to be kinda an egyptian myth nerd but i would have to relearn a lot tbh

sometimes we had presentations tests so i think thats as close to relating with the oral tests but the rest i totally understand

my family is kinda controlling of what i do, if they dont like that i picked up a hobby or something they let me know, like cosplaying for example i find it really difficult because my dads a little creepy and my mom refuses to acknowledge or be arpund me if she notices that i am and its to the point that it becomes a really big problem in my house so now ive got like really expensive cosplays and o barely do it anymore to keep some peace in my house ueue when i move out ill probably pick up a lot of my old hobbies like cosplay, art, streaming, and music stuff maybe ill even pick back up baking who knows!

im still playing dead space tbh,, its so fun but i just asked my brother a steam question and he closed out of dead space so i just lost a good chunk of progress sigghhhh, i hope your days been going well too though :D tell me if you do anything fun <3

[littlewiseeyes]

The moment I went outside myself, things crumbled. Within there is solid ground. I'm at my best when I am ME.

My birthday will be here soon. Changes have come about where I had to change many of my plans. I'm ok. I don't sweat it or stress it anymore. I need to do some grounding, get fresh air much more often, take the time to put on meditation music and just be. These things bless me far more than what money, social media, sex can offer. I still love those things but I can't let it consume me any further. It's so easy to get lost when trying to escape reality. Here it is you just wanted to temporarily not feel the hurt, fear, anger, melancholy that life sometimes has us wallowing in. But when you go too far, it's very difficult to come back. The strongest and bestest thing you can do in the midst of life's problems is tackle it head on. There is a solution to EVERY single problem. Lying to yourself, running away, existing only in your imagination will not fix what is broken. It covers it, gets it out your view, becomes an out of site out of mind kind of thing. But it still remains there, broken and therefore painful. I got so happy recently that I thought maybe I don't need to see a therapist. I looked in the mirror and said, "BITCH yes you fucking do!" I needed therapy since I was 12 tbh. And even more so at 13. I'm turning 32 this month. Therapy is VERY long overdue. Phuq.

The chance to change is something I'm immensely grateful for. I am thankful I get to get this right. It's foreign to me to be getting this far ahead, I usually quit by now. Habitually my mind wants to. I'm NOT QUITTING this time. I just won't. But phuq I'm getting tired as phuq. When you are taking the steps to change it gets it's yuckiest just before the results and rewards start to really show off in life. I want to spit this hard pill out. It's big, it's nasty, it's painful. But swallowing it will bless me in a plethora of ways. I'm facing myself again. I had fell back into the delusions. I was lying again, to myself mostly. Anyone grown, woman or man must face their truths. Ugh it's so difficult though when you know your truth is ugly, dark, hurtful. But if you can't keep it real with yourself, you can't do what's necessary to start living a better life. You won't know what's required of you. Go before a mirror and just stare for a moment. Be honest in your mind then let it flow out vocally. Listen we're all beautifully and wonderfully made masterpieces created by THE Master, The Great Mother, The Spirit. Let Spirit lead, guide and direct you! You're already phuqing amazing, start treating yourself like it! Start acting like it! Start being the great you, you can be because you are just that! You are GREAT!

I am great. And great things are meant to be mine, in abundance. A lot of shit we go through literally wouldn't happen if we remember who the phuq we are and we stay focused on doing wtf we're purposed to.

If you're set apart like me, you know much of the shit going on isn't meant for us. We'll have many more bright days and peaceful nights when we stop trying to fit in and do what the masses is doing. We are different for a reason and we must live differently for the reason. I'm a hermit by design. When eye operate according to my design!? I don't deal with all this shit I'm currently inwardly suffering from. Tuh and to think I seen the hit that knocked off my feet recently coming miles away. I convinced myself I could just move a few steps to the left and miss it. Lmfao NAW. That hard knockout from the reality you tried or did escape ain't missing contact! Rough but needed. Tough, but now I'm seeded. Change is the water. Rituals are the fertilizations. I'm growing up. Growing pains hurt so good. OUCH, but thank You Yah. Soon enough we'll all treat ourselves a lot better. Collectively more and more people are open learning more about self. For years we were caught on imagine, money, fame. The thirst and hunger for knowledge, peace, enlightenment is growing stronger. Soon enough we'll see more book purchases over BBLS. I've been blessed to cross paths with a beautiful man that gave me manyyyyy books to sink my brain into. 💚 I do hope he knows how appreciative I am.

I want things better for everyone, for all of us, for all of Spirit's beautiful, wonderful and amazing pieces of The Master's Puzzle. Dear reader, friend, sister, brother I want to say I love you. You are art and I say this from my heART. May I be of inspiration? If I can change, heh, anyone can. And you and I? We will. This is a powerful time of life! Reach out and grab it, you can hone it, you are worthy, you can do ALL the things you need to do.

To anyone and everyone doing the work to change for imbetterment, We got this 🫶🏽