#i named and modeled him after my very first starter :)

[dorothygale123]

So, there I was, minding my own business, when Pinterest decided to draw my attention to THESE:

I WANT THEM SO BAD. However, I have made the responsible, adult decision not to get them because I don't have any more space on my shelves need them. I don't. I don't need them, really.

REALLY.

But that cannot and will not stop me from gushing over the mythological creatures they feature, so here we are.

First up, this cutie.

A pretty easy one, as it's just a nine-tailed fox. Here it's labeled as Jiu Wei Hu, but it's also called the Huli Jing. Known in Japan as the kyuubi or youko and Korea as the gumiho, this little guy shows up all over East Asia. Honestly foxes could take up their own post several times over, so I'll leave it here for now.

Next up, the chonker!

Once again, this little guy has another name. Here called Di Jiang, I am far more familiar with him as Hundun, a primordial chaos god that has a lot to do with the founding of the universe. As you can see, he look a little.... wierd. For starters, he has no face. In fact one of his more famous myths has to do with exactly that. See, Hundun was just chilling in the center of the world when 2 gods started to visit him. They felt really bad for Hundun, not having a face and all, so they decided to 'help' him by carving holes into his flesh. The idea was that he would be able to see, hear, eat and breathe with them, but after the seventh hole Hundun died. Looks like cutting holes into people to reorganize their biology can have unforseen medical consequences, what a surprise.

Next!

Wen Yao was pretty hard to get any info on, but from what I can tell it was a carp with wings (possibly on the back of the model) and was an omen of good harvest, hence the rice.

Next.

When I first saw this one, I thought it might be a pair of fenghuang (Chinese pheonixes), as they also often come in male/female pairs, but it's actually a different creature entirely. The Man Man, also called the Jian Jian or Bi Yi Niao are a pair of birds that resemble pheasants, except they only have one eye and one wing each. They are very romantic figures, with the obvious symbolism of a person's partner completing them. Awwww.

Next.

This here is Xing Tian. I have a whole post on him and what his deal is, so feel free to check that out.

Continued in Part 2

[veryimportantsparkles]

Here's the current team! Dillia, BellaBella, and Maria had their designs already but Steely, Hopscotch, and Daniel are new. I did them as lil chibis because it's faster and easier. Every one of them is a remembered, resurrected Pokemon from my old gen 2 game, except for Daniel, who was this cartridge's sacrifice when I reset the original file.

Dillia - Strong and reliable and a little bit edgy. I've always thought of the Totodile line as inherently feminine because mine was a girl, but they're still big crocodile monsters. She's tough and ready to fight, hanging at the back of the party to step in if the others can't win a battle.

BellaBella - The most reliable Vine Whipper in early Johto where everything else just has Tackle. A battle prodigy who walks fearlessly into danger; sometimes her confidence gets her into trouble. She seems pretty and ladylike but has bad table manners. Bella and Dillia are both messy eaters and everyone else thinks it's gross.

Maria - Easygoing and forgiving, waited very patiently to reach the name rater when I accidentally gave her a boy's name at first. Enjoys jogging at night. Thinks she should do something new with her hair but never decides on a style.

Steely - I remembered having a Pidgeot with Steel Wing but couldn't recall a name, so 'Steely' is a half-remembered resurrection. He doesn't remember much of his previous life, but he's pretty sure he always lived a happy, uncomplicated existence. He likes battles and strives to get better at them, but doesn't come off as an aggressive guy.

Hopscotch - I absolutely knew I had a Jumpluff in my champion team but that he was useless. I just needed someone who could use Flash and he was terrible in battle. He also didn't have a nickname...that I can remember. Hopscotch is content with a life on the sidelines but I'm a better trainer now (and moveset options are much better in 4th gen) and I might be able to pick a moveset that brings out his full potential.

Daniel - I got my Soul Silver cartridge used, and its original owner was apparently named Daniel. He last saved his game in the middle of Union cave, with a Bayleef and 4 underleveled catches. I shuffled those Pokemon into my Platinum cart and left Soul Silver with one resident, a Slowpoke named for Daniel. In my new file, I've recaught him.

Edmond's namesake left behind a fully completed game. Edmond grew up in the shadow of someone who knew what he was doing. Daniel...might have been a little kid? Or simply someone who quickly got bored with Pokemon. Additionally, most of my 'world sacrifice' Pokemon have some kind of unhappy memory from being deleted then reformed. But in this Soul Silver run, my entire team is made of resurrected Pokemon from a dead Game Boy cartridge, so that's not special. Plus, this time I picked a Slowpoke, a species well known for experiencing pain on a five second delay.

So I think Daniel might not have noticed I deleted him? I'm dreading the day he figures out what happened but for now he seems to be a happy enough kid. This team of longtime companions have reunited and their task is to carry young Daniel up through to the championships to honor his sacrifice and stabilize the world. I hope they can raise him well.

I gave him a jacket modeled after his namesake's starter Bayleef, as sort of a protective charm to carry him through. Maybe I'll choose to trade that Bayleef back in to keep him company? I don't know, I have options.

And a side note: I don't remember what my original 6th Pokemon was, in the slot Daniel is occupying. I think it MIGHT have been a Magmar, but I'm not sure. I'm just going to play through the game and see if anything jogs my memory.

[baladesilver]

Sometimes I still think about the whole Nezha thing in Warframe chat and how fucking awfully handled it was.

Like, sure, I understand how "trap" is a derogatory term to trans people. I am a victim of it as much as any other trans person, especially us transfems. You don't have to lecture me on that.

However, in that case in specific, just letting it go would be the best course of action by far. I understand it happened at the same time as that shitshow with chat moderation, but DE don't seem to have learned anything at all from that whole situation.

For starters, Nezha isn't trans. Nor is he trans coded. Nor is he anything related to trans people or trans culture at all. He's just a twink frame with everything you may want from a twink, down to the Hatsune Miku cosplay, and I'm not even joking on that one. Calling that thing a trap is like calling F1nnst3r a trap, if he was a video game character that doesn't actually exist.

Even as a character, Nezha portrays no characteristic of being trans, other than not conforming to the strict expectations of his assigned gender, which isn't even a trans thing, just a queer thing at best, if you really want to count it. In lore, he's just CPS if CPS killed child abusers on sight.

Honestly, the kind of demographic that I see calling him a trap first is exactly queer people. I understand if a moderator saw that back when it started to be a thing and started banning it on sight as a knee jerk reaction, and I won't judge it if it was you. It's a perfectly fine application of paranoid reading from a very oppressed group and I might have done the same if I lacked the foresight I have now. That moderator had no blame on the shitstorm that was about to come down.

The way Digital Extremes handled the situation afterwards, however, was very bad. After the bans began, it was a common troll to tell someone to say the four words on chat and watch as they go away for upwards of an entire month. It got to a point (in which we still are today), where the automod will ban you if you merely link [Nezha] and [Kinetic Syphon Trap] items in chat in the same message.

I want to make it clear again, that I am not criticizing the initial moment of the situation, but the company's follow up and lack of understanding of trans peoples' identities and expressions. Denying someone who calls themselves a trap or a trannie only leads to infighting and is a net loss for everyone but transphobes. If you say someone else can't be called a trap, what you're truly saying is that identifying oneself as a trap is invalid and can't be done. I wouldn't want to be called a trap, but if you do, I cannot say you can't be. You cannot deny my identity, just as much as I cannot deny yours, be that directly or through a fictional character.

Nezha, with his fictional character status, can't state his opinion in either way, so just saying "Nezha is a trap" is a very gray statement by itself. Without context, it means absolutely nothing, and doesn't warrant the vehemence in which it is punished by moderation. If this situation was well handled from the beginning, it wouldn't be even remembered as an incident, let alone have its own name and meme status. By lacking an understanding of what it means to be queer, they inadvertently denied a lot of people of their identities. Oopsie daisy.

I understand that, as individuals, Digital Extremes' employees do support trans rights and identities. Some of them are trans themselves, they create trans characters and portray queerness in very beautiful and meaningful ways. However, as a company, DE has a lot of growing to do if they truly want to support the LGBT++ and its community in general. Ever since its creation, Warframe is a game governed by whoever speaks the loudest, from serious issues like this one down to balance patches and the like. I wish transparency and communication were more important to their business model, but I am not working there and don't know their conditions, I can only say that as a queer player, not as a developer or employee.

Anyways, thank you for coming to my ted talk turned rant. Enjoy the post-pride, everyone, and always remember that no one can deny you of your identity and expression, unless they directly harm another endangered group or evokes the tolerance paradox. Please have a nice day.

Also, please warn me if I need to put any content warnings on this post, I'm fairly new to post-exodus Tumblr.

[precognitor]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! )

○ name: Nought but don’t perceive me ○ pronouns: they/them. or it/its. or he/him. or she/her. the first two are my most preferred ○ preference of communication: NOTHING. GO AWAY. (i will use tumblr IMs mostly for plotting purposes. i’m very, very slow to give out my discord and only do so to people i feel i can trust with it and people i want to develop much deeper or more complicated plots than IMs allow). ○ name of muse(s): OVERMIND V 1.2.2b, DELPHI MODEL -- “TWO”. ○ experience/how long (months/years?): multiple years i shant say how many ○ platforms you’ve used: countless. i play so much D&D with my friends :) ○ best experience: uhhh i USED to have a really good memory and experience but Things Soured That so i’m just here to have a good time and hopefully make a new and better one :) ○ rp pet peeves / dealbreakers: DO NOT TRY TO KNOW ME TOO FAST i do not WANT to immediately be your bestie i do not WANT you to call me your friend after our third conversation. i swear i’m not mean, i swear i’m not going to be a dick to you, i’ll be as funny and nice to you as i am to most people, but past experience has made me very reluctant to jump right to friend mode with people on this goddamn website. it’ll take a while for me to start definitively calling you a friend so do Not try to push too hard to fast w me ooc or i’ll fucking run for the hills (we can be friendly rp partners! and i promise i’ll still treasure that bond because i love reading everyone’s little blorbos on here) ○ plots or memes: motivation for both is pretty hard to come by these days. i’m usually a more “plot” focused person, if by plot you mean “we talk about our muses extensively in DMs until we both land on a scenario we have relentless bloodlust for and we then send each other an ask or starter for it because foams at the mouth”. ○ long or short replies: inbetween! i find it easier to write replies of medium to long length, but sometimes i have that one RP partner that i can just gush loquaciously with and then it comes easy. i’ll do my best to match what you put out. ○ best time to write: evening or night! i have a shitty full time job and it’s usually easier for me to pump out replies at night (central time USA) because of it. i’m more available on weekends. ○ are you like your muse(s): i’m not smart and he is

tagged by: @dynamoprotocol​ :3 tagging: idk. you?

[emyn-arnens]

OOH OOH OOH! lotro ask game!!! 2, 4, 9, 20, 35, 42? <3

Thanks for the ask!! <3

2. Do you have a favorite Epic quest?

I love, love, love the session play quests. My favorite tho has to be the ever-iconic Boromir POV session play during vol 3 book 7. I’m sure he does canonically know everyone’s names in the fellowship, but the names he gives them in the game are too hilarious.

4. Do you have a favorite side quest?

I really love the lore-based side quests in Lothlorien that talk about the tale of Amroth and Nimrodel, as well as the ones where you explore or reflect in different areas. The slower pace and encouragement to take in the scenery were a breath of fresh air after spending so much time hacking at things in Moria.

I also love the side quests in Rohan that mention how Eowyn has inspired other girls and women, and the relationships that she has with the various female thanes and reeves. LOTRO has always been pretty good about its depiction of women imo, but it seemed like around Rohan it really started stepping into portraying relationships between women, which I appreciated.

9. Do you have any favorite character(s)?

Corudan, my beloved. **spoilers if you haven’t reached Helm’s Deep** I still can’t believe I just waved goodbye to him and sent him on his way at Helm’s Deep without realizing I wouldn’t see him again. ;-; The devs better pick up his storyline again and let us know what happened to him—and he’d better be alive—or I’ll riot.

And since we’re fresh off the Harvest Festival, I love Ivy Redsmith. She’s such a good friend ;-;

20. Do you spend a lot of time on cosmetics- outfits, weapons, housing, pets? Do you have any favorites?

I’ve spent WAY too much time on cosmetic outfits. I spent most of my time collecting cosmetics/cool armor and creating outfits when I first started playing, and it’s the reason why I’m perpetually running out of inventory, vault, and housing space because I have too many beloved pieces I’m not willing to part with. (On the upside tho, my new alts never have to run around in their janky beginner armor for very long because I always have something from the stash that I can share with them lol.) Most of my screenshots of the outfits I made were on my old computer so I don’t have access to them (rip), but I modeled a lot of the ones I made after the outfits I saw on blogs like Cosmetic LOTRO, Starry Mantle, Material Middle-earth, and Wandering Around Arda.

As for favorite pieces, some of my favorites include the Tunic and Trousers of the Autumn Traveller (Harvest Festival), the bee wings (Harvest Festival), the Swan Cloak and Cloak of the Dove (store items), Gwir-palvais (Isengard instance), all of the Dunland quest reward armor (that was when I really did my inventory in lol), and the High Elf starter armor.

35. Are there any quotes you like?

Rodwen and her group of failing adventurers (in Parth Galen/the East Wall in East Rohan) have a lot of choice dialogue, with my favorite being, “We lost Cuilinn not long after leaving Cair Andros; he was a minstrel, and did not understand the need for silence at a crucial moment.”

And I love every sassy comment Corudan makes about third wheeling with Horn and Nona. :D

42. Are there any fun easter eggs you’ve found that you enjoy?

According to the devs it’s not an official easter egg (and wasn’t a connection on their radar at all), but I read on the forums that the Ivy Redsmith/Halson Cleary story line coincidentally mirrors Connie Willis’ short story, “A Letter from the Clearys.” I've never read the story, but I thought that was cool, even if it was unintentional.

My favorite official easter egg is the hidden deed for climbing to the highest point of the Hollin Ridge, which bestows the “Ridge-racer” title upon completion. My main bore the title proudly for a long time. :D

[lotro asks]

[bluwavez]

I posted 115 times in 2022

That's 115 more posts than 2021!

46 posts created (40%)

69 posts reblogged (60%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bluwavez

@whileinvenus

@haechantaeil

@it2won

I tagged 107 of my posts in 2022

Only 7% of my posts had no tags

#kpop oc - 38 posts

#idol oc - 37 posts

#fictional idol community - 35 posts

#kpop addition - 29 posts

#oc kpop group - 28 posts

#fictional idol oc - 27 posts

#aes!ocnet - 26 posts

#kpop au - 26 posts

#˗ ˋ 🌊    dive deeper    ﹕   underwater    ! - 23 posts

#deluxeocnet - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 74 characters

#i dont know if i've put this on here before but im doing it again if i did

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

— BASICS

STAGE NAME :: HAN

FULL NAME :: Hana Takuya

BIRTHDAY :: October 11th, 1995

ZODIAC :: Scorpio

BIRTHPLACE :: Tokyo, Japan.

HOMETOWN :: Aichi, Japan.

ETHNICITY :: Japanese

NATIONALITY :: Japanese

— CAREER

PROFESSION :: Idol

YEARS TRAINED :: 5 Years

LABEL :: ANGELICO Entertainment

GROUP :: DEEP DIVE

GROUP POSITION :: Leader, Main Dancer, Lead Vocalist, Visual

— PHYSICAL

FACECLAIM :: Yamazaki Kento

HEIGHT :: 185 cm || 6′1

BLOOD TYPE :: O-

— HISTORY

Hana Takuya, professionally known as Han, was born to two middle class parents in 1995, being their eldest child. His birth was followed by two sisters and a single brother. Takuya’s upbringing was very strict according to him as his parents believed the arts were a waste of time and none of the Hana children should go into them.

Though, this never deterred him from finding a love for dancing. He said he first fell in love with ballet, always wanting to take a class but knowing his parents would never allow him to. So, instead, he joined an after school dance team that he said was a debate team so his parents wouldn’t get suspicious. There Takuya would develop his dancing skills and begin busking around Japan with the group. During one of these busking events, Takuya was scouted by DSP Media, being only fourteen at the time.

Not wanting the opportunity to go to waste, Takuya told his parents about his want to be an idol. This went over horribly, resulting in Takuya being disgraced and kicked out by his parents. He hasn’t had any contact with his parents since 2009 but has reconnected with his younger siblings.

Being one of the original members of DEEPDIVE, Takuya began training under DSP Media at the ripe age of fourteen, debuting at nineteen in 2014 as the group’s main dancer and lead vocalist. He became the group’s producer after their debut, finding a passion for music production and composing.

After ANGELICO’s acquirement of DEEPDIVE, Takuya was promoted to leader, replacing Jisung. He grew in popularity due to this position change, many praising his dedication, artistry, and visuals. After the switch to Angelico, Takuya often gets the most modeling gigs and solo activities in the group.

Being one of the most popular member of the group, he’s often villainized online or unfairly targeted. He’s often targeted for his bluntness and straightforwardness or his etiquette during award shows and other groups performances. He’s admitted multiple times that he does these things for attention and to make people mad, giving him the title of “the shit starter of kpop”

23 notes - Posted January 24, 2022

#4

FINN “METAMORPHOSIS” HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY.

TRACK LIST

01 EASIER  02 TAKE MY HAND  03 STARTING LINE 04 JUMP START 05 YOUNGBLOOD 06 SolSol 07 LOVER OF MINE 08 JUST YOU 09 BUMP BUMP 10 FIRESTARTER 11 FACE 12 PLACE IN ME

See the full post

27 notes - Posted July 16, 2022

#3

ib: @qp1ds & ft. duri @plydte !

#DEEPDIVE: as it was.

27 notes - Posted April 15, 2022

#2

— TITLE :: We All Know

— FEATURING :: Jacob Joo & Kang Woobin.

— WARNINGS ::  Minor smut, nothing insane, easily skippable. Physical fights. Minor blood. Verbal Abuse. Blue says some really fucked up things to Jacob. Suicide mention. The suicide is not written graphically but it is discussed in detail. 

— WORD COUNT :: 4.8k

— AUTHOR’S NOTE :: i tried writing this in a different style than i usually do. it’s def more narrative heavy, i took inspiration from euphoria haha, but yeah! it was my first time writing like this so i hope you enjoy this kind of story telling!

— SUMMARY :: In which, the blood is on Blue’s hands.

See the full post

41 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

˗ ˋ 🌊    ANGELICO’S FAVORITE DEAD BOY   ﹕ The Tragic Story of Noah Son . . . Since his passing in 2019, Noah Son has been the center of many discussions around mental health, company negligence, and overall mistreatment in the idol industry. In the hour and a half long video essay by KPOP video essayist and Angelico Hater, ANGELHOE, she goes over the timeline of Noah’s life, his death, and the exploitation after his passing. The video gained over a million views within the first 24 hours, many Sirens (Deepdive stans) finding the video impactful and very well done. ANGELHOE, real name Dolly Williams, revealed on Twitter Angelico hit her with a cease and desist because of her video. “The video is staying up until Son Jinhwa knocks on my door and serves me papers himself” Dolly tweeted after getting the letter. A week after video was posted, now sitting at 6 Million views, Dolly posted a selfie of herself holding papers captioning it: “angelico served me but i know the law baby 💋” confirming that Angelico is trying to silence her and the narrative she’s painted of them.

COMMENT  BELOW  YOUR  THOUGHTS  AND  OPINIONS !

See the full post

54 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[cappydoodle]

in honor of me adding him to art fight, I’m posting him here. His name is Alistair, he has a sword :)

[channiebbang]

courting

synopsis: y/n has a massive crush on renjun and renjun has too much going on to care, or alternately, y/n courts renjun and gets him to like her, with a small misunderstanding in the middle.

characters: Huang Renjun, Na Jaemin, Main Character and a lil bit of Lee Jeno and Lee Haechan.

pairing: collegestudent!renjun x collegestudent!maincharacter

genre: fluff and a lil bit of angst

word count: 6.7k

warnings: noneeee

author’s note: it took me whole damn minute to write this lol initially i wanted the story to go differently but i kinda forgot along the way lmaooo this was supposed to be a han jisung one shot at first but then renjun inspired me more 🤠 i hope you enjoy reading this! let me know what you think about it! 🥺💛

she still remembered the first day she saw him. the first day she knew what love at first sight was.

renjun had always been a very reserved person. he liked to keep to himself and only hangout with his few friends. that ofcourse didn't mean he had no popularity around campus because holy shit did everyone know the boy.

he was known for being donghyuk's bestfriend, for being a clever student, for being a witty genius, a straight A student, a bookworm. but most of all he was knows for being the handsome dude that like silence, and being by himself when he wasn't with his friend.

y/n, like everyone else, knew of a huang renjun, but she had never had the honour to see him. see, y/n too was always immersed in her studies, and when she wasn't she liked to chill with her friends or be home with her family. she was a simple girl.

so imagine her surprise when one day, as she waited for her friend, she saw the most beautiful, handsome boy walk by. she was surprised because how could she, in her last two years of being in the same campus, not have seen this beautiful man. he must have been new, he had to. spoiler alert: he wasn't, she just never paid attention to her surroundings.

it was a few days after that she had seen him again and thanks to her friend she got to know that he was the huang renjun.

so, being the smart person she was, she decided she would court him. yes, court. like they did centuries ago. she would court him. despite not knowing anything about him, other than what people told her, she wanted yo get to know him and hopefully date him. simple as that.

huang renjun on the other hand, couldn't careless when word got around that a certain y/n had a crush on him. it never bothered him when other people came up to him so he didn't see how she would be any different. he just wanted to be chill.

he already had a lot on his plate with trying to balance his studies, art assignments, work, social life and family back at home to care about some fleeting crush someone had on him.

with having to live alone for so long he had already too much stuff going on and really couldn't be bothered to add more to it.

-

with the start of the new semester came the news that it was recommended to take another course for some extra credits and as much as renjun didn't want to he resigned himself and took a photography course. now, don't get him wrong, he loved photography. but he had already so much on his plate he didn't know how he was going to balance it all. thankfully, his friend jaemin was taking the course with him. and jaemin, being the sweetest, most caring, friend he was agreed to renjun's request to always group together if there was need. payment fee: be his model for the fashion course he was taking. renjun begrudgingly agreed. it was only just trying on clothes after all.

so on the first day of the new photography lesson the two boys walked in and sat somewhere in the middle, waiting for their professor to arrive.

"don't go back on your words," jaemin sent renjun a pointed look, his hands working on taking out his stuff.

"yeah, yeah," renjun muttered not looking up from his bag.

the sound of laughter made him look up towards the door, his eyes shifting back down to his bag when he saw a few girls walk in.

"oh, that's y/n," he heard jaemin mutter. renjun only hummed while finally putting his bag down by his feet.

"what?" jaemin asked as he turned towards his friend, brows furrowed in confusion. renjun shared the same look.

"what what?" he asked, kinda lost.

"that," jaemin subtly nodded towards the group of girls that sat a few seats in the front, on the side, before continuing, "is y/n," renjun followed his gaze only to look back at his friend.

"so?" he asked, not knowing where this was going. jaemin scoffed rolling his eyes.

"just showing you who your admirer is," he explained, renjun smiled before shaking his eyes.

"thank you for you kind service, sir," sarcasm dropped from every word, jaemin turned to him with a smirk.

"hmm kinky. call me that more," he slightly nudged him with his shoulder, leaning his elbow on the desk and resting his head on his palm. renjun's smile disappeared and he faked a punch to him, jaemin flinching away.

"get lost."

-

it took her a few more days for y/n to build up the courage to approach the boy.

she was nervous but she also told herself that if she got rejected then, well, it was a new experience. i mean, she had a 90% chance he would reject her. how she knew? well for starters, he was known for rejecting people, he made it very clear he wasn't interested in a relationship at all. people also said he was basically unapproachable, intimidating and cold.

she had mixed feelings about the last few; she had seen him multiple times with his friends, and he always seemed to have a soft smile on his lips and a glowing aura. so how could he be cold and intimidating?

but. now that she was standing a few feet away from him she could totally understand why they said he was unapproachable.

the boy wasn't with any of his friends. his expression was set to stone, to say the least.

y/n gave herself a little cheer before she started walking towards where he was going.

it's alright, just be yourself. people like bright people, right? it's gonna be okay. she told herself.

renjun's head snapped to the side when someone fell in step with him. he turned his gaze forward again thinking they might be walking by.

"hi!" y/n smiled brightly at the boy. renjun turned towards her again, his eyes looking around him in case she was talking to someone else but they were the only two walking. he slowly came to a stop.

"are you talking to me?" he asked, finger pointing at his chest. y/n giggled before nodding. she raise a hand, waving.

"hi, I'm y/n," she introduced herself. renjun sent her a skeptical look before nodding.

"renjun," he spoke uncertainly wondering why she was approaching him.

y/n felt at a loss of words after that. honestly speaking, she had never flirted with anyone or even tried to win anyone over really.

now, it's not like she had never dated, that she has, but she never made the first more.

her exes had told her that she tended to be a bit oblivious when people flirted with her, what with her being always friendly.

so being on the other end felt a bit nerve wrecking. she had a lot of respect for people that made the first move all of a sudden.

"i don't know if you heard about it, people really seem to like gossiping around here but i kinda like you," she said with a smile on her face.

renjun blinked. once. twice. a third time, before coughing awkwardly.

"what?" he spluttered caught off guard. y/n snorted.

"i like you," she repeated, the smile never wavering. she hiked up the strap of her bag on her shoulder.

suddenly her name clicked in renjun's head and he remembered seeing her in his photography class. he cursed under his breath before turning forward again.

"not interested," he muttered under his breath before stepping around her and walking towards where he was going before. y/n cursed under her breath before stumbling after him. the both unaware of the stealing glances people were giving them.

"i know you aren't," she fell into step beside him again. renjun took a deep breath before speeding up. y/n watched him before clumsily shuffling and taking two steps every one stride he took. renjun noticed and a smirk pulled up the corner of his mouth, before falling just as quickly.

"i will court you, if that's okay with you," she started again, "i know you're not interested in me. i will put in the effort to get you to like me," she giggled facing him as she followed.

renjun threw her a confused look before shaking his head. y/n checked the time on her phone before her eyes widened.

"shoot! my class starts in a bit, i gotta run! i'll hear from you again, bye renjun!" she waved before turning and running away, without waiting for the boy to say bye back. renjun scoffed at her childishness before getting in the hall where his class was going to be.

-

so that's how occasionally renjun would find chocolates or flowers on his desk in photography. jaemin had made it his job to tease him every time the two came into the class to find the little gifts. the blue haired guy even telling their other friends about it.

renjun had made it a routine to hand over all the chocolates he got to jaemin everytime, even though his favourite was among the little bunch. upon jaemin's question as to why he wouldn't eat at least the ones he liked, renjun's answer was, "i don't want to give her false hope and think i appreciate it."

and as much as he liked the flowers he gave those to jaemin as well, only to take them back saying they would be nice as props for art inspiration.

just like every other photography class, y/n had walked into the class with a few girls before they all walked to their spot. she looked over where renjun and jaemin usually sat, smiling when she saw the both sitting there. she fished out the little sketchbook and small flower ensemble from her bag before putting the latter on the desk and getting up.

"why do you do this all the time? it's clear he doesn't like you," one of the girls inquired, a smile on her lips. y/n shrugged, her eyes trained on one person only.

"i know he doesn't, but he also doesn't like anyone else," she winked down at the girl before stepping out of the desk, "which means, i still have a chance," she giggled as she turned around before walking towards the two boys.

"hi!"

the two bickering boys looked up at the sound of the chirpy voice before renjun rolled his eyes and jaemin smiled big at the girl.

"hi, y/n, what a surprise," jaemin teased as he winked at the girl. y/n giggled, a slow blush creeping up her neck.

"hello, jaemin," she politely waved before turning her eyes towards renjun, "hi, renjun."

renjun looked up towards her before averting his eyes again, "hi," he politely said.

his eyes shifted to his desk when y/n put down her small gift on his desk, his brows furrowing.

"why are you giving me this?" he asked, a slight tone in his voice. jaemin nudged him with his knee.

"thought you'd like a small sketchpad to have on you wherever you went. just in case you got a sudden burst of inspiration," she explained, the smile never leaving her lips. renjun looked up at her, a stoic expression on his face. y/n's smile faltered a small fraction but she hoped she masked it before her could notice.

renjun's eyes remained on the girl as he picked up the sketchpad and slowly pushed it aside on the desk, on jaemin's side.

"i don't need it," he deadpanned. y/n cleared her throat before brining up her smile again.

"then throw it away," she shrugged her shoulders before turning away and going back to her seat as renjun started after her, jaemin snickering beside him.

"well," he chuckled, "didn't see that coming."

-

it was at the end of the day, when renjun was walking around campus on his way to the library, that someone fell into step with him. he already knew who it was as a slow breeze wafted a floral scent his way.

he threw her a fleeting glance before making a double take. he felt his breath hitch in his throat before he masked it away.

the girl beside him looked ethereal in her baby blue shirt and high waisted loose fitting gray pants. her hair flew softly around her shoulders and face as the wind blew. the golden hue the sunset casted on her making her skin glow in contrast to her top. the cherry lip stain she had on brought accent to her lips in the most beautiful ways. renjun looked away as her eyes met his. she giggled. and renjun would never admit that to jaemin or his other friends but the sound was slowly growing on him.

"the weather is very nice today," she spoke taking a big breath, "want to get some ice cream?" she asked hopefully. renjun turned towards her only to be faced with big, bright eyes, shining in a way he could not put into words.

clearing his throat he turned away again as they made their way down the sidewalk.

"what are you doing?" he asked, his voice low and calculated, genuinely curious. y/n threw him a look before stepping behind him as a woman with a stroller passed by them. she peeked from behind him as she stepped beside him again.

"courting," she spoke with an obvious tone as they stopped in front of a streetlight.

"why?" he asked as they crossed the road. he came to a stop on the side of the street when he realized she had been following him.

"well," she started, "of course because i like you," she nodded, adjusting her bag strap.

"you don't even know me," he deadpanned. y/n rolled her eyes, an exasperated sigh leaving her lips and renjun's brows furrowed.

"well, of course not, that's the whole point of me courting you, dummy," her voice dripped incredulity as if he had asked the most obvious question.

he rolled his eyes as he started walking again, ignoring her words. she scurried after him as she tried keeping up with his steps. five seconds passed before she nudged him with her shoulder, grinning. a groan left his lips in response.

"so," she stretched out the word, "can i? court you i mean," her eyes went big as she waited for his answer. he let out a big sigh.

"it's not like you haven't been already doing it," he murmured. y/n's brows furrowed.

"you're right, i'm sorry about that," she apologized, and renjun could hear the pout before he even turned to look at her, "i'll stop if you want to. i really want your permission though. i wouldn't want to do anything you wouldn't like," she grumbled, upset she had unintentionally invaded his space.

renjun stared at her clear upset pout before he sighed again. he had been doing that a lot lately.

why am i agreeing to this, he thought as he closed his eyes for a second before he opened them again and turned a corner, y/n turning a second late.

"you can," he muttered as he stopped walking. y/n's eyes grew big as she gasped. her eyes lit up and a smile stretched over her lips as she looked up at him with big eyes.

"i can?" she asked in wonder.

"sure, be my guest," he shrugged his shoulders.

"really?" she asked again and renjun only nodded, his expression blank.

"but," he brought his index finger up and she looked at it before nodding, "i won't put aside my studies, job or anything just for your delusional attempt at flirting."

"courting! COURTING!" she corrected him after a loud groan and an eye roll. renjun doing the latter as well.

"yeah yeah whatever, that," he waved at her dismissively. she smiled at him.

"that's okay, but don't shut me out. you have to give me opportunities to court you, you have to be fair," she pointed at him as she pouted. renjun looked from her face to her pointed finger before he pushed it down. y/n's eyes shifting to the finger before muttering a sorry.

he glanced at her sideways a snort leaving him, "yeah, okay."

she smiled before a confused look took over as she looked at their surroundings.

"uhh, where are we?" she asked unsure, renjun looked back at the store they stopped in front.

"didn't you want to get ice cream?" he asked and y/n's eyes lit up a cheer leaving lips as she bounced on her heels.

"yes yes! let's go! it's my treat," she laughed as she pushed him aside and walked inside.

"sure," renjun muttered following her inside.

and that's how her courting began. sometimes it was ice creams, other times it was afternoons at the library, evenings in the art lab. and it went on for a few months. renjun's friends would sometimes tease him about y/n and he would begrudgingly tell them he wasn't dating her. he had explained times and times again what y/n said she were doing and they had told him the same thing every time.

yeah yeah dating, we get it.

word was getting around campus that the renjun was dating y/n and it was safe to say it was the hottest news. renjun, who had never cared about what they ever said about him, this time too, didn't bother to correct anyone.

-

y/n checked her phone as she speed walked. she was late to meet renjun and she knew how much he hated tardiness. she cursed under her breath as she skipped around the corner. her eyes searched around in hopes to catch a glimpse of the ash brown color haired guy. a smiled adorned her lips as she saw him. she was about to call out his name when she noticed him talking to someone. she jogged up to him and smiled as his eyes shifted to her.

"you're-," he started before she interrupted him.

"late. i know, i know. i'm sorry, i had to talk a bit to the TA," she giggled in apology and he rolled his eyes as he bid goodbye to the girl he was talking to.

"i'll get back at you about it. try to find as much as you can about the topic," he stretched his lips in a make shift smile for a second in greeting and the girl nodded, a teasing smile on her lips.

"don't get too lost in your date. i won't do the whole project on my own because you're out dating," she smiled jokingly. y/n pressed her lips together as her big eyes watched between the two.

the stranger's smile slowly fell as she noticed renjun wasn't smiling in the least, his face stone serious.

"don't worry about my date, worry about doing your part, bye."

and he turned and started walking away. y/n watched between his retreating back and her baffled face, an embarrassed blush adorning her cheeks.

"he's like that with everyone, don't take it too at heart," y/n sent an encouraging smile.

"y/n!" her head whipped to see renjun waving at her to be quick. she smiled for a last time to the girl before she ran up to him.

they walked in silence for a few minutes as she pouted. renjun took a deep breath before he looked at her out of the corner of his eyes.

"what?" he asked already knowing why she was pouting. she sent him a narrowed stare.

"you didn't have to be that rude," she sighed as she grasped the bag strap across her chest.

"yeah, well she was being nosy," he shrugged his shoulders.

"she was trying to be friendly."

"yeah, well she was trying to be friendly by being nosy and i don't like it."

y/n snorted at his pouted reply.

"ah!" y/n suddenly remembered as she rummaged into her bag, renjun watched her with curious eyes.

"here, this is for you," a small bag was pushed towards her and renjun carefully took it before opening it.

"what is this?" he asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"what do you mean? it's food, silly!" y/n giggled.

"yeah, why?" he asked, slowly fishing out one of the corndogs in the bag. y/n rolled her eyes jokingly.

"because you like them," she said after a sigh left her lips, wondering how he could be so oblivious. he nodded not feeling like arguing with her. no matter how many times he had told her not to spend money on his she never listened.

when he realized she just was a giving person he figured he would just buy her ice creams on the times they would go together.

"this is my stop, i'll see you around," renjun nodded at y/n as they stopped in front of the bus stop. y/n smiled as she nodded and waved. the bus stopped in front of the two and y/n watched as he walked up to the doors and into the bus, not once looking back.

as the doors closed and went away, so did her smile. she took a deep breath wondering if she had been too forceful on renjun.

was I too pushy? should I have backed away when he said he didn't like me?

and somehow she figured that really, renjun didn't need to like her. he had never said he liked her. it was all her.

she had been the one to push herself into his life, she had been the one wanting to court him, she had been the one to always wait for him after his classes, she had been the one dragging him to the ice cream parlor every other day.

renjun had always been clear on his feelings. he had said it in the beginning he didn't like her. he had only agreed to it all because he was nice, only going to get ice cream because she dragged him.

"hey! why the long face?"

y/n turned towards the sudden voice, her smile back on her lips as she crossed eyes with jaemin. she shook her head.

"got lost in my thoughts," she smiled, "it's getting late, i'll see you tomorrow!" and she was gone jogging to her bus stop.

jaemin let out a deep breath, wondering if she knew she was very bad at concealing her feelings from showing on her face.

-

golden rays seeped through the curtains in the silent home. a sweet melancholy atmosphere buzzed in the atmosphere. the silence creeped up the walls and enveloped the whole apartment.

the beeping of the main door unlocking sounded like a shrill sound in the otherwise mute surrounding. feet shuffled in before closing the door. soft steps sounded loud, the switch being turned on illuminated the whole flat in a bright light.

a sigh left her lips as she let her bag fall on the couch, walking to the bathroom.

twenty minutes later she was sat on the couch, a towel in her hand as she dried her hair. the silence made her ears ring, she hated it. hated this feeling.

she hated not being able to trust anyone, hated that she had nobody she could call friend at college, hated how she knew the people she hung out with during those few hours talked behind her back, called her naive, stupid, loser. she knew it all but she hung out with them either way.

y/n thought about calling her boss and going to work, being busy sounded like a thrilling idea instead of sitting in this silence, but she knew they were full.

she took a deep breath willing her mind not to fall in the deep hole she knew it was going to if she didn't busy herself fast.

so she got up and discarded her damp towel on the rack in the balcony before walking to the kitchen, wondering if cooking something would take her mind away from memories she wanted to keep locked away.

-

"renjun ah!"

jaemin walked into the room in search of his friend, his mind set on getting his words across the thick headed idiot.

he closed the door behind himself, his narrowed eyes set on the boy playing a game on his couch. renjun's eyes fled to jaemin before focusing back on the game.

"jeno and haechan said it will take half an hour and then they'll be here," he informed the blue haired male as he angrily pressed the buttons on his controller. jaemin nodded before taking four strides in front of the tv and turning it off.

"bro! what the fuck!" renjun shrilled, mouth hanging open in surprise.

"you're losing anyway," jaemin deadpanned before looking him straight in the eyes, "we need to talk."

"about?" renjun threw the controller aside, wondering what was this serious.

"y/n."

"what about her?" renjun sighed as he leaned back against the couch, curious where this conversation was going.

"don't you think you're being a bit unfair to her?" jaemin asked, his tone calm.

"how? i didn't do anything," his brows furrowed as he stared at his friend. a slight sliver of irritation hit him as he wondered if she had gone to whine to his friend about him.

"exactly, you don't do anything while she does everything!" jaemin exclaimed, his arms spreading before falling by his sides again.

"i don't know what you're reaching at, jaem," renjun sighed as his fingers pinched the bridge of his nose.

"what i'm trying to say, jun, is that the poor girl has been trying to woo your ass so hard for so long and you won't do anything about it!"

"what do you want me to do!" renjun exclaimed, suddenly feeling attacked, "she was the one that wanted to do all this courting bullshit! i never asked to do it! i told her i didn't like her!" he defended himself and jaemin rolled his eyes at his friend's stupidity. and he was supposed to be the top student huh?

"at least tell her again before she falls more for you while you don't care then! the poor girl has tried everything to make you like her! she knows your habits, your order at the café, pays attention to what you say, what you do. hell! she even knows when you crave your stupid milkshake because you had a bad day at college!" jaemin tried to reason with him.

"did she complain at you about all this? i swear!" renjun groaned as he stood on his feet, beyond angry that she had the audacity to complain when she was the one to start all this. jaemin looked at renjun as if he grew a second head.

"what? no! why would she say anything to me? it doesn't take a genius to figure all this out when the moment she's not with you she has sadness written all over her face."

"oh so now i'm the bad guy, great!" renjun laughed mockingly.

"nobody said you're the bad guy, jun," jaemin's voice softened up as he stared at his friend, clear anger on his features, "all i'm saying is to take into consideration her feelings too, and if your feelings still haven't changed for her then to tell her so she can move on."

renjun snatched his jacked from the armrest of the couch before storming towards the door.

"where are you going?" jaemin asked, his tone alarmed at the anger renjun was displaying.

"tell her to fuck off and not complain to my friends," hw muttered as he pulled away the door.

"oh! hey guys," jeno's eyes widened as renjun pushed away from him and haechan on his way out of the door. the two standing on the door stared as he walked away before turning towards jaemin.

"what's going on?" haechan asked as they stepped inside their den. jaemin waved his fingers in his hair as he let out a frustrated sigh.

"i think talking to him was a bad idea."

-

it was almost 11pm when y/n's phone rang. she was almost falling asleep on her couch when it started ringing, waking her up right away. she smiled softly as she read the name of the caller, clearing her voice as she picked up the call.

"hello? renjun?" she softly asked, wondering why he called her at this hour.

"send me your address, we need to talk," his cold tone made a shiver run down her spine as she muttered an okay before he hung up.

thirty minutes later he texted her to come out front. in the chilly breeze he stood in front of her apartment complex. she was wearing a hoodie and sweats as she walked out. she smiled at him as she stopped to stand in front of him.

"hey, it's cold, you can come inside-,"

"what do you want from me?" he interrupted her. a look of confusion fleeting across her face as she stared up at him.

"what?" her voice was small as she spoke. renjun rolled his eyes.

"why would you go and rant to my friends about shit that you could've told me?" he accused, and her confused expression just angered him more as he scoffed.

"ah yes! now comes the 'i don't know what you're talking about'. you wanted to do this courting crap, i told you before that i didn't like you! i don't understand why you would antagonize me to my own friends when i never even wanted this in the first place!"

"what? renjun that's not-"

"i don't care! just stay out of my life, will you? stop whatever you're doing, i don't care about any of it. this was stupid anyway," he mutter the last few words before turning away.

he had taken just a step before y/n grasped his arm.

"renjun," she called him, "i don't know what happened but this is not what-"

"are you saying my friends lied to me?" his head whipped back and y/n let go of his arm right away at the nasty look he threw at her. she softly shook her head.

"that's not what i said," she muttered adn renjun scoffed before turning away again.

"then stay the fuck away," he spat as he walked away and y/n stared after him as she felt a sharp pain on her chest, the familiar pain of heart break happening all over again.

-

she had stayed away from his as he asked. she didn't reach out anymore and she didn't approach him either. figured out if she was forcing herself on him, the least she could've done is listen to him and stay away.

jaemin regretted talking to his stubborn friend when he had pushed his shoulder against the girl's and greeted her just to receive a tight lipped smile and a soft hi before she had speed walked away. seconds later renjun had stood by his side, his eyes on the girl as he scoffed.

"what did she want?" he sneered and jaemin's furrowed his brows as he turned to face his friend.

"renjun," he called his attention and the latter turned around to face him.

"she never said anything to me," jaemin went straight to the point and when renjun made to say anything he held up his hand.

"i'm not covering for her. she never said anything to me or anyone. hell, she never even talked about you to me. all i know about what you teo had going on was from what you told me," jaemin took a deep breath at renjun's furrowed brows.

"that day you wouldn't listen to me. I don't know why you were that angry but she really didn't ever say anything. whatever i talked to you about was all because i wanted to say it. so if you have feelings for her tell her and if you don't then at least apologize to her," jaemin tried to reason with him

"we're best friends, i'm gonna tell you when you're wrong and being an idiot. and now, you're both," jaemin smiled at renjun before clapping his arm and walking to their photography class. renjun didn't say anything, too immersed in his thoughts.

they walked into the room and renjun's eyes were right away on y/n. she sat in her usual seat, surrounded by her friends as they laughed about something. y'n smiled but it didn't reach her eyes, she laughed but it didn't sound genuine and renjun wondered how he was able to tell. he shook his head and walked behind jaemin to their seat.

"hey, aren't you going to say hi to renjun?" one of y/n's friends. y/n's smile dimmed a little before she masked again and shook her head.

"i'm not doing that anymore," she shrugged her shoulders as to not seem too sad. the girls around her snickered and y/n felt a chill run down her spine.

"why? did he reject you?" one asked and y/n sent a tight lipped smile as she hummed.

"y/n! come here for a moment, please!" the professor called her and she thanked the heavens she got saved like that.

she got off her seat and walked down the steps carefully. what she didn't miss is the girls next words. they intended for her to hear it and they also wanted renjun to hear.

"of course he would reject her, she was so pushy with it."

renjun's brows furrowed as he heard those words, wondering how did friends talk about their friend like that, but what angered him more was that it was obvious y/n had heard them but she had just kept walking to the professor.

renjun shook his head telling himself he shouldn't care. he knew he had to apologize at some point but he also knew he didn't care for her, he had no feelings for her... right?

but as he watched the girl talk to the professor with her smile painted on, his heart tightened.

-

it was late at night when renjun lied in his bed, facing the ceiling, his body aching from slaving away at work, his shoulders in pain from the hunched evenings he spent in the library and the heavy feeling in his chest from having to balance so many things at once, that he longed for someone to rely on. finally he was coming to terms with the truth.

the truth was that y/n had been that one person that made it all go away; the aching, the pain, the heaviness and the emptiness. she had taken all of it away without even trying to. renjun thought back at that evening when he had went to a shop with his friends and as his eyes caught sight of the little fluffy keyring he had grasped it and with a small smile he had thought 'y/n will like this' only to remember y/n wasn't there anymore. he had pushed her away.

renjun's brows furrowed as he suddenly sat up, a determined look on his face. he had to make it right. he had to apologize.

so with a new found adrenaline pumping through his veins he got up from his bed and quickly threw on a hoodie and his shoes before running out of his home.

-

y/n secured the lock on the convenience store she worked at, shaking the door to check if she had locked it correctly, before taking the short walk to her building.

the chilly breeze felt refreshing against her cheeks as she walked the uphill street.

she stepped under the streetlight in front of her building when she noticed a crouched figure in front of her main door. she slowed down as she got creeped out, wondering where the security guard was.

the sound of footsteps made renjun snap his head up only for his eyes to cross y/n carefully stepping up to him, her eyes unsure before realization dawned on her.

"renjun?" she asked confused and surprised. renjun stood up before dusting off his jeans.

"hey," he whispered before realizing y/n was probably waiting for an explanation, "uhh, i rang up but nobody answered s-so i just thought about waiting here for you," he stuttered before clearing his throat and looking away, his eyes shifting to look around himself in emberassment. y/n smiled comfortingly and nodded.

"did you need anything?" she asked softly, and renjun stared at her for a moment before his brows furrowed.

"don't smile," he murmured and y/n's eyes widened before she blinked away.

"uhh sorry?" her tone unsure before renjun shook his head at the misunderstanding and waved his hand in front of him.

"no no, that's not what i meant. i meant like- if you don't mean it then don't. you don't have to fake it," he explained and y/n nodded her smile returning.

"i'm not faking it, i couldn't with you," she giggled before nodding with big eyes, encouraging renjun to continue.

"i- uhh, i wanted to apologize," he took a big breath, "for the way i snapped at you that day, without knowing anything. i shouldn't have been so rash on you. jaemin cleared things with me and i have to say, it was a total dick move of me to just assume you did something," he rambled on and y/n nodded.

"it was," she interrupted him and he nodded, looking down.

"but you don't have to worry about anything, i won't bother you anymore. i'm sorry too for pushing myself on you like that."

renjun's head snapped up at her words, his brows furrowed as she shifted on her feet, her fingers tight around her bag strap.

"no," he muttered and y/n's brows raised in question, "let's- let's try again, this time i'll meet you in the middle," he nodded and y/n stared at him, her lips parted so renjun took it upon himself to elabprate.

"i realized," he licked his lips as his eyes looked around before settling on her, his eyes screaming determination, "that i didn't realize how much you helped me until i pushed you away. i didn't realize how much i relied on you for comfort. until you were gone. you were there for me in so many ways, a-and i realized how much i liked having you around, how much i thought about you, until you weren't there anymore. i realized how much just the thought of you brought me calmness until i couldn't turn to you anymore. and calmness is what i needed, is all i needed to balance my crazy everyday life, and i want you in it again, but this time for good, and the right away," renjun took a deep breath after being done, feeling like if he didn't say all that at once he wouldn't be able to make her realize how much he needed her.

y/n's eyes shone as she looked at him.

"jun," she whispered and her tone panicked renjun. it was so quiet, so frail and it sounded like she had just given up, "you don't have to force yourself to make me feel better, i can handle rejection. it will hurt for a bit but i'll be okay," she reassured him and renjun shook his head.

"no, no, i'm not doing this because i feel bad for you," his brows furrowed and his tone laced with offence. he took a step towards her and wrapped his arms around her all of a sudden. y/n's eyes widened as her hands rested on his sides, taken by surprise at his sudden hug. renjun wasn't really known to be affectionate, "i really wanna give this a try. this time the right away, please, let's try," he murmured against the side of her face.

y/n slowly pulled away and looked at his eyes, shining like the stars above, he was absolutely breath taking. and she smiled, her usual soft smile as she reached up a hand to shift away a loose hair strand falling in front of his eyes.

"okay," she nodded and renjun smiled as he nodded. his cheeks suddenly went up in flames when he noticed his arms still around her frame and she giggled, slowly pulling away.

"have you eaten?" she asked as she turned away to put in the password to the building doors, and renjun smiled as the heaviness that once settled on his shoulders felt lighter and his chest hurt less.

"are you inviting me up?" he asked hopeful and she turned her head around to throw a funny look his way, "i'm telling you, i'm so exhausted i will eat everything in your fridge, sure you wanna risk that?" he teased as she opened the door and stepped aside to let him in.

"i'll take my chances," she smiled as he took a hold of her hand and pulled her towards the elevator, a smile adorning both of their faces.

[prettywordsyouleft]

The Trial Period - Part 2

Summary: When the perfect studio space comes up, you leap at the chance to take it. Except, so has Park Jinyoung, someone you have hated for the past three years. Given three months to share the space before deciding who will claim it, can you push Jinyoung out by the end of your trial period, or will you find that the tactics you both use leads to something unexpected?

Pairing: Park Jinyoung x female reader

Genre: romance / suggestive / enemies to lovers au

Warnings: (overall storyline) heavily suggestive/bordering smut content, light cursing now and then. This part: light cursing, seduction tactics and sexual tension.

A/N: This series came together from an idea I had and a prompt for Idea Starters (will be shared in part 5). Whilst I know I’ve written a lot of E2L with Jinyoung, this is a story where I pushed through my usual boundaries with mature content. I hope you enjoy it!

Word count: 2181

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

“Good morning, sugar,” Jinyoung called out into the office as he walked in, your eyes narrowing at the despised pet name before continuing with your work. You noticed movement out of the corner of your eye a moment later but trained your focus on the seam you were creating. “Didn’t you hear me, sugar?”

You continued to sew, back-tacking the seam and cutting off the thread.

Jinyoung laughed loudly. “Ohhhh, so you’re going with the ignoring approach. How fun. You always react in the end to me, though Y/N. Each and every time.”

“Is that so?”

“You just did,” he told you with a victorious smile, and you glanced up at him and smiled sweetly. Jinyoung’s pulled his head back in confusion. “Why are you smiling at me like that?”

“Hmm, peaches?”

“Pe-Peaches?!”

“I figured if I’m sugar, then you can be peaches. Isn’t that a nice exchange, my little peach?”

“There’s nothing little—honestly, you’re so patronising at times!”

“Peaches, you might want to check on your fly. You didn’t do a very good job in dressing yourself today, now did you? Poor little peach.”

Darting his focus to his unzipped pants, Jinyoung cursed loudly and dashed out of your space, leaving you to sew in peace.

One score to you.

It was an even match over the next three weeks, both infuriating the other endlessly. You had done all in your absolute power to drive the man out. From interrupting him when he was busy, to pet names, and even tripping over the cords to his setup and unplugging everything. Nothing was making Jinyoung budge.

And he was dishing it back just as much as you gave it.

“He’s formidable. I’ll give him that,” you complained to BamBam and Georgia after work, drowning your sorrows in your second glass for the night. “But I can’t let him win.”

“I was going to tell you to stop this silly game, but after hearing what he’s said to you today, I’m in full support of you annihilating his ass,” Georgia commented, reaching over to pet your hand affectionately. “Hang in there, Y/N. You’ve got this.”

“Says the person who signed a contract with him.”

“Hey! I need some photos taken to hang up around the bar. Even if I acknowledge he’s a jerk, he’s a talented one. His photography skills are no joke. If you didn’t hate each other so much, I would recommend you use him to take photos of your modelled pieces.”

“Over my dead body would I model my outfits in front of his camera lens,” you replied with a shudder, and Georgia nodded sympathetically. “I’m doomed if I can’t get rid of him soon. My project’s first stage will be closing in less than a month. I don’t want to always be hypervigilant in the workplace in case he is up to something. It’s distracting, and I’ve had to work overtime three times this week just to keep up with the schedule.”

BamBam chuckled, and you both glanced at the man. He looked between you and pointed at himself. “Oh, you’re wondering why I laughed?”

“Are my troubles that laughable?”

“Sweetheart, you are forgetting one important element to your arrangement here.”

“Which is?” Georgia inquired, leaning forward for his input.

BamBam equally moved in closer, as if he were about to divulge a potent secret. “He’s a man.”

“Is that it?” you groaned, throwing your head down on your arms across the bar’s countertop. “I know he’s a man. The most infuriating one I’ve ever met!”

“There’s something you can do that will bother him because he’s a man, Y/N.”

You glanced up at BamBam, who was grinning wickedly. “What are you suggesting?”

“He’s not blind, Y/N. He’ll have urges like the rest of us. Weaken him that way.”

“I couldn’t!” you breathed in horror when you clicked onto what the bartender was suggesting. “Bam!”

“What? Maybe he makes sense,” Georgia added on, raising her index finger to her mouth.

You looked at them both and shook your head. “I can’t flirt with him! He’s Park Jinyoung!”

“And you’re just as gorgeous, babe.”

“A solid eight for sure,” Bam insisted, and Georgia slapped him over the chest. “What? An eight is good! And if you started to fool with him, and eight could easily turn into an eleven.”

“I doubt Jinyoung could ever imagine me that way,” you dismissed the thought entirely, gulping down the end of your drink. “No way would he even budge to me throwing a seductive gaze his way.”

“How do you know? You haven’t tried it before,” Georgia pointed out, and you grew thoughtful. “Maybe try wearing something to the office tomorrow that’s not this.”

“What’s wrong with this?” you asked, looking down at your baggy overalls and tee. “I have to be comfortable to sit and sew for ten hours a day!”

“You’re a fashion queen, Y/N. Use your knowledge to your advantage and make yourself a canvas that he can’t help but look at.”

You didn’t want to admit that Georgia’s and BamBam’s advice had affected you all night long. You went through waves of laughing incredulously at the concept of using your charms to throw Jinyoung off his game and then silently deliberating if you even had enough skill to seduce the man.

You had never considered what would turn him on in the slightest.

“There’s no harm in dressing nice today, especially since I have a meeting this afternoon,” you told yourself as you slipped into a high waisted pencil skirt that accentuated your curves, and a satin deep necked camisole covered your top half. You didn’t want to look anything less than professional with your endeavours, and if anyone were to visit the studio today, they wouldn’t see anything confusing about your outfit.

It was definitely an upgrade from the oversized tops and jeans you worked in most days, though.

Jinyoung didn’t arrive on time as usual, and you were more aware of the emptiness you felt being in the studio alone. It was what you hoped for in the end, but for now, especially when you were attempting to mess with the fates today with BamBam’s plan, you waited for Jinyoung to arrive.

Two hours later, he finally appeared, speeding across the entryway without even looking in your direction. You were disappointed. It had become the norm for both of you to start at one another when in each other’s company immediately. Scolding yourself inwardly for even contemplating such a tactic, you shifted around in your seat to get comfortable. You weren’t at your sewing desk today, and your focus was on designing new pieces for a Spring collection. You continued to erase the same line of the cape you were trying to construct on your tablet, growing frustrated with your lack of concentration.

Blindly reaching out for your glass of water, you tipped it back, only to find it was empty. Scooting back your chair, you walked in a daze towards the kitchenette and opened the refrigerator, reaching in for the jug and pouring water into your glass.

“Morning, sug…” Jinyoung trailed off when you shut the refrigerator door and turned to look at him. He was frozen in his spot, his gaze unfocused.

You rolled your eyes and gave him an unimpressed nod. “Peaches.”

Rounding him, you moved back to your office space, sitting down on the stool in front of your drafting desk. Deciding to go back to your roots and use paper and pencil, you set up your supplies, noticing Jinyoung had drifted into your space, his index finger pointing loosely at you.

“What’s this?”

“Huh?”

“You’re dressed.”

“I always wear clothes to work,” you admitted with another roll of your eyes, starting to sketch on the paper. “This is the first time you look like—”

“Like what?”

“A fashion designer,” he admitted, and you glanced away from your foundation strokes, tilting your head to the side. He was doing the same thing, but his gaze was lingering far too long over your chest.

What the hell, you thought, and then a lightbulb went off in your head. Was Jinyoung actually reacting to your outfit?

Turning on your stool, you intentionally propped your arms under your bust, knowing it would enhance your cleavage. You were still modestly covered in doing so, yet you were aware of how Jinyoung swallowed slowly.

“I guess I didn’t want to blow your mind too easily,” you announced, and Jinyoung blinked several times, finally lifting his gaze away from your hips they had trailed to and up to your face.

“Blow my mind? Sure, sugar, like you could do that to me.”

“What? You’re taking a look at me for a change. I did something,” you bit back, and Jinyoung shook his head.

He didn’t look fully convinced, however.

“You like it when I show off my curves, huh?” you continued, reaching for the band on your wrist before raking your fingers through your hair, pulling it away from your neck and tying it back.

This time it was unmistakable. Jinyoung’s eyes followed your action eagerly, his ears turning red in the process.

You hadn’t even realised tying your hair back would do that to him. Nor had you believed you had it in you to tease him like this.

It was rather exciting.

Snapping out of his stare, Jinyoung chuckled and pointed at you again. “I see what you’re doing, Y/N. It’s not going to work.”

“What am I doing? I have a meeting with my investors at two today. Am I not allowed to look good for the part?”

“You’re going like that?!” he asked, pained for some reason as he looked you over again. “With nothing over top?”

“It’s warm out. I doubt I’ll need anything. I’m modestly covered.”

Jinyoung scoffed, muttering under his breath.

“What did you just say, peaches?” you oozed, twirling the end of your hair around the pencil you had picked back up. Smiling sweetly at the man, you waited for him to say something.

“Fuck,” he breathed out and then swung back around, his hurried footsteps moving away from you.

You bit your lip to suppress a well-earned giggle. You didn’t want to seem too satisfied just yet.

When you returned from your meeting, Jinyoung was coming out of his processing lab, stopping in his tracks when he noticed you.

You had let your hair down for the appointment, and as you walked towards the kitchenette to get a snack, you started to tie it back up.

Jinyoung reached out for your wrist as you passed by, jolting you away from the action and back to his side. “What the hell, Jinyoung?!”

“I could ask you the same thing, Y/N. What are you scheming right now?”

“Scheming?” you echoed, yanking free from his grip. You then went right back to tying up your hair in a loose bun. “I’m hungry and tired, Jinyoung. I want to get my food and finish work for the day.”

“So, this isn’t a scheme of yours?” He gestured to your outfit with a hard gaze. “You’re not trying to flaunt your… your—”

“My?” you prompted, looking up at him with what you hoped to be alluring eyes. “Don’t tell me it’s doing something for you.”

“No. No!”

“Then why are you so bothered?” you whispered as you leaned in towards him, hearing him gulp. “Ooh, you can’t deny it. Now, can you?”

“I didn’t imagine you’d be this sly, Y/N,” he admitted, blinking until he had regained some composure. He blatantly looked you over now, smirking as he did so.

Your eyes grew round.

“Then again, it’s a clever tactic. Why hadn’t I thought of doing the same back?” he mused, and you laughed.

“As if you could tempt me like that. You do nothing for me, Park Jinyoung.”

“Nothing?” he asked, stepping into you.

It took all your energy to not move away and hold your ground. This seemed to impress Jinyoung, his eyes bright with enjoyment. “Are you sure you feel nothing when it comes to me, sugar?”

“Contempt is something I feel strongly whenever you’re near me,” you answered, trying not to fall into his eyes.

You cursed inwardly that he was handsome in just a hoodie and jeans.

Grazing his hand down your bare arm to your elbow where he cupped it, his smile grew. “You should already know as an adult that if you play with fire, you’ll get burnt.”

“Isn’t it you who is trying to stoke your own fire right now?” you asked, brazenly reaching out to place both hands on his chest. You were delighted to feel his heartbeat moving quickly in his chest. “I don’t really wish to play with your flames, Jinyoung.”

“We’ll see how well you cope when tomorrow comes,” he told you, igniting further exhilaration within you at the idea of a challenge.

You watched as he moved around you, heading back over to his desk. Once in the kitchenette, you grinned.

Your game was truly heating up now.

_________________

Part 3

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[sgtjbbhasmyheart]

Drunk Texting Is(n’t) Bad for Your Health- Chapter Four

Series Summary: Talk about your unconventional meet-cute! Bucky receives a text by mistake requesting he prove he's not Reader's sister. The easy dialogue between Reader and Bucky sparks a natural friendship, but could it lead to more? Bucky still deems himself unworthy of any form of affection or love. Reader is hellbent to prove him wrong. With the help of some (meddling) friends along the way, Bucky may get his happily-ever-after after all.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2960

Warnings: Itsy bitsy amount of angst, bad language words, mentions of phone sex and masturbation

A/N: divider credit- @firefly-graphics

DO NOT copy or replicate without my permission

“James?”

You held your breath after you uttered the name into the phone’s speaker. Your heart galloped at the thought of actually speaking to him. You’d be lying if you had said you hadn’t imagined how his voice sounded. You pictured something deep and raspy but drawled and sweet.

In the last five days, you’d imagined many things about James. Not just the sound of his voice, but his laugh, too. Rich and soothing. And of his scent- distinctly his own or a fresh, citrusy cologne of bergamot and tangerines. You imagined his rough, calloused hands sliding over your skin in slow motion.

And how he kissed. You daydreamed about that, too. Often. You couldn’t count how many times you’d stared at his sorry excuse for a selfie. You found yourself drawn to it daily. It was only part of his face, but what you could see was ruggedly handsome. His lips looked soft and delectable. You pictured yourself nibbling on his bottom lip, deepening its color to blush pink.

A sharp sigh escaped through your nose as you waited for his reply. Maybe he hadn’t heard you the first time? “James?” you asked again. “Hello?”

No response.

You pulled the phone away from your ear to make sure you were still connected. The call-time counter ticked ominously second by second on the screen. You tucked the device back under your hair to find the call was still active.

Did he get cold feet and change his mind last minute? He hadn’t hung up yet, so you weren’t exactly sure why he was waiting. Maybe he was tongue-tied? Or hadn’t expected you to pick up?

“Did you butt-dial me, James?” you laughed, trying to dispel some of your anxiety.

You heard a muffled “ shit” and two beeps. You glanced at the phone’s screen again, and call ended flashed in bold white.

Ignoring the hang-up, you immediately re-dialed James. The line rang and rang. And rang.

You weren’t confident you were going to speak with James, the longer the rings continued. He wasn’t ready to talk to you yet, and that was okay. It had only been five days.

Five days wasn’t long enough to build a bond over stupid Would You Rather? questions or form a simmering crush on a stranger that made your stomach flip whenever he sent you a funny cat meme. Nope. Five days was much too short of time for anything.

A generic voicemail greeting clicked over and rudely beeped at you. You took a deep breath and quickly thought of a reason to be calling someone who didn’t want to talk. “Hey, James. Just calling you back. It’s (Y/N), by the way. I’m not sure if you meant to call the first time or if sneaky ninjas have accosted you and somehow did a crazy pocket dial. Y’know, because of the whole military-trained assassin athlete mchottie thing. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. And no pressure! If you’re not comfortable talking on the phone, I completely understand. I’m sweating bullets just talking to your voicemail box.” You chuckled nervously. You were starting to babble.

“Anyway,” you continued. “I hope you’re well. And don’t leave me hangin’. I really wanna know if you’d rather sneeze every hour or burp when you saw a pretty girl.” You laughed again. “Goodbye, James.”

You mashed the end call button and face-planted into one of the throw pillows on your couch. You groaned loudly into the fabric, chastising yourself in your head. If he didn’t want to talk before, he most definitely wouldn’t want to now. You shook your head in disbelief. Sneaky ninjas, seriously? What. The. Fuck?

Hours later, while in the middle of a Say Yes to the Dress marathon (dammit Robyn!) and a self-induced diabetic coma of ice cream and chips, your phone vibrated. You swat at it on the coffee table with a foot, only to realize you lack the limberness or the dexterity in your toes to retrieve the phone. As a result, it tumbled to the ground as you groaned in displeasure. Cursing your luck, you bent forward to pick it up. Awakening the phone’s black screen, a text popped into view.

James Sorry

Your heart lurched for a moment. With every second that had passed since you’d left your voicemail for James, the least likely you’d felt he’d call back or even respond. Hence the pity party with Ben & Jerry and Cool Ranch Doritos.

James My so-called “friends” grabbed my phone from me and led to accidentally calling you.

Ahh, the old “invade-your-friend’s-privacy” maneuver, you thought, shaking your head.

James I didn’t want to hang up on you, but I’m not quite ready to talk yet. I like what we have.

Your heart flopped. You liked what you had, too, but a small part of you- a dumb part- wanted just a little more.

Shaking off the feeling of longing churning your insides, you thumbed over the screen to reply.

You No worries, James. We can go at whatever speed you like.

It was weird to have the guy, for once, want to take things slow. Usually, it was always you pumping the brakes in the relationship. Was this even a relationship, though? Were all the texting and personal questions leading somewhere? Or were you bound to end up friends with an interesting story to tell your other friends?

Not allowing your negative thoughts to curtail the joy of finally texting James again, you quickly punched out:

You I’m just glad you’re okay and not being held for ransom somewhere.

James It would take a whole horde of ninjas to take me down.

You giggled at the confidence contained in this one text, but talking to a girl on the phone threw him for a loop. We are definitely back in junior high, you thought.

You You sound awfully confident for a man who wouldn’t talk to a friend on the phone.

James You don’t want to talk to me.

You pinched your eyebrows together in frustration to form a crease between them. Was he serious?

You Sure, I do. I have a bet going with myself on how your voice sounds. Is it deep and masculine or high-pitched like you sucked in helium?

James Which are you betting on?

You pulled your bottom lip in by your teeth, biting softly. You smirked as you thought of the two options. The former would be nice, but the latter would be pretty damn funny.

You I mean, deep and masculine is very desirable. Listening to the low timbre of a man’s voice is very relaxing for me. But, considering the ridiculous “selfie” you sent me, I’m placing my money on high-pitched.

James What was wrong with my selfie?!

Somehow, you knew that would get him worked up.

You Well, for starters: I can only see, like, part of your face! Did a blind person teach you how to take them??

You And secondly, there clearly wasn’t enough “Blue Steel.” With cheekbones and pouty lips like yours and a chiseled jaw, I’d be blue-steeling the shit out of all my selfies!

A wave of remorse washed over you once you hit send. Had you really compared him to Zoolander? Not only had you objectified him by mentioning how aesthetically pleasing he was (let’s face it- he’s really, really, really ridiculously good looking), but you may have criticized him for his terrible selfie abilities. At that moment, as you waited for the inevitable “fuck off” text to come through, you wished for a giant sinkhole to appear under your apartment and swallow you whole. What were you thinking?

James First off, I’m a selfie amateur. My past line of work limited my contact and/or exposure to the outside world. I didn’t learn what a selfie even was until recently. Remember, I’m also a man of mystery. I’m trying to keep up appearances and can’t reveal too much.

James What is “Blue Steel”? I’m not very pop-culture savvy unless it happened before 1944.

James Did you just call me pretty??

Your cheeks flushed with the heat of a thousand suns. He called you out as you expected him to do.

You Uh...

You Are we gonna talk about the fact you said you didn’t know about pop culture after 1944?? You are a grandpa!

James Nice try with the subject change! Admit it- you think I’m pretty.

You rolled your eyes. Of course, that would be the thing he focused on out of the whole conversation.

You I have no idea what you’re talking about.

If all else fails--deny, deny, deny.

James Right. Sure about that, doll?

Your pulse spiked.

You never did like pet names before you met James, but doll had a goo-ing effect on you for some reason. Everything seemed to turn to mush whenever he mentioned the word.

You Absolutely. I have no reason to believe that if you weren’t a military-trained assassin athlete mchottie, you’d be a male model. None what-so-ever.

James Uh-huh. I’m going to pretend that you aren’t lying through your teeth and getting back to our scintillating game of Would You Rather?

James I’d burp every time I saw a pretty dame, by the way. I wouldn’t want to take my chances with sneezing in my sleep. Would you rather eat only fruits or vegetables for one year?

Several nights after the voicemail incident, you were sitting in Penelope with Robyn after work. She wanted to meet up to decide which centerpieces worked best for the reception. Scattered across the table were three samples she and Kevin had narrowed it down to. With your thumb, while playing with a corner of the hand-drawn example closest to you, a sigh escaped your nose.

Your sister’s talent mesmerized you. Each storyboard showed the intricate detail of the flowers and candles themselves and what the tables would look like next to each other with every centerpiece. You were in awe.

“These are so good, Robbie! They must have taken forever to put together,” you said, admiring a different sample on the table.

“Nah,” she replied, brushing the compliment aside. “Just an afternoon’s time last week.”

“Well, shit. I hope they’re paying you the big bucks at work.”

She quirked an eyebrow devilishly as she reached for her drink. “You know it,” she jested before taking a sip.

You laughed at her cheekiness. Robyn had always been a go-getter. One of the many attributes you loved about her. Never took no for an answer.

“Soooo,” she drawled as she set her glass down. “How have you been?”

You looked up swiftly, eyeing her suspiciously before returning your gaze to the storyboard in your hands. “I’m still alive if that’s what you’re asking.” You set the drawing down to take a drink from your glass. “Haven’t been murdered yet, but the night is still young.”

Robyn rolled her eyes at your petulance. “You know I worry about you. Are you still texting James?”

You smiled sweetly. “Each day that goes by, you act more and more like Mom. You know that?”

Robyn scoffed. “I do not!”

She could deny it all she wanted, but Robyn was turning into the spitting image of your mother. You laughed again. “You do too. Even down to the eye roll.”

She folded her arms over her chest, waiting for you to answer her question.

Two could play this game.

You wiped the corner of your mouth with your napkin unhurriedly. “If you must know, yes, James and I are still texting.”

“Has he sent any dick pics or asked for nudes?” Robyn asked earnestly.

“Yup. We engage in wildly pornographic phone sex every night.”

Robyn glanced around the restaurant with eyes wide as saucers, making sure none of the other patrons heard you. “(Y/N), I’m serious! Has he propositioned you?”

You huffed a small laugh. “Nope,” you admitted. “In fact, he’s the one that wants to take things slow. He accidentally called me the other day and hung up from jitters.” Robyn didn’t need to know the full truth.

“The jitters?” Robyn queried.

“Yeah. I even called him back, but he let it go to voicemail.”

“Then, he must be weird or ugly.”

You grimaced at her assumption. “Ew, Robbie. Don’t be gross,” you chastised. “He’s the opposite of ugly. I might even go as far as to call him handsome.”

“How? You don’t know what he looks like,” Robyn questioned.

You took a quick sip of your drink, holding up a finger. “Au, contraire mon frère. He sent me a selfie in the very beginning.”

Robyn looked at you, perplexed. “You know you just called me your brother, right?”

You waved a hand at her to dismiss her accusation. “Ma soeur just doesn’t have the same ring to it.” You pulled your phone out to offer proof.

“You can barely see his face!” she exclaimed. “What if he’s horribly disfigured on the other side? Or missing an arm?”

You shrugged. “Then, he’s missing an arm.” You got a distant look in your eyes as you recalled the last ten days of texting with James. “He’s different, Robbie. He’s smart and funny and caring. Polite. It feels like he has an old soul. He calls me doll for chrissakes!”

“Are you sure he isn’t some crusty, old man?” Robyn gagged at the thought.

“No, I don’t,” you chuckled in response. The faraway look returned after a moment. “To me, he’s just James.”

Realization dawned on Robyn’s face, lighting her up like a light bulb. “Oh, my god. You like him.”

“Well, yeah,” you acknowledged, “he’s my friend.”

“No. You like him like him.”

Your face reddened quickly with the awareness of your feelings. They weren’t real, were they? Shaking your head, you replied, ”Nothing will happen, Robbie. It’s just a crush.”

Skeptically, she agreed, “Uh-huh.”

“What?”

“I believe that as much as I welcome a cold sore on my wedding day.” She scrunched her nose at the thought of a gross, red blemish on her face for her big day.

“Fine,” you acquiesced. “If I fall head over heels, madly in love with James by your wedding day, I’ll owe you a hundred bucks.”

Robyn raised a sculpted brow in interest. “I’m listening.”

“One hundred dollars. End of negotiation,” you stated. “I don’t have a spare hundred bucks, so it will be a motivator not to fall for James. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.”

She smiled smugly, shaking her head in disbelief. “Uh-huh.”

“Will you stop saying that?” you said, throwing a piece of lettuce at her face. “You definitely sound like Mom.”

Robyn huffed in annoyance, back-handing your shoulder softly. “Shuddup! I do not!”

You chortled heartily at the mini tantrum she was throwing about becoming Mom. You’d say anything at this point to get her to forget about you and James.

In all honesty, there was no you and James. Not really. You were friends, but could you move past that?

He was hiding something.

Something big.

And it wasn’t part of the whole “man of mystery” persona, either. James was holding back.

He had a hard time giving up anything personal to you that went beyond his likes and dislikes, which led you to believe he had found it difficult to trust.

It angered you deeply without really knowing why. Something in his past had sparked the inability. You only wish you knew what.

Deep down, you could really see yourself falling for James, and that scared you to death.

Breaking you from your reverie, Robyn piped up, “You know, James is probably jerking off to your voicemail.”

“Oh, absolutely!” you retorted, both of you dissolving into a giggling fit.

After leaving Robyn with a clear choice for centerpieces, you made your way back home. After a fifty-minute subway ride, you popped into the corner bodega for some essentials for the coming week.

Sauntering up the stairs to your third-floor walk-up, you steadied your armful of groceries with each step. It had been a long week, and now with the revelation of how you felt about James clouding your mind, a glass of wine, ice cream, and a bubble bath sounded good right about now.

You could barely see over the bags and juggled them precariously. As you stepped onto your floor, you recognized the voice of your next-door neighbor down the hall. He was talking with someone, but you couldn’t tell with whom or what about.

Blindly, you called out, “Hey, Peter? Can you be a lifesaver and help a neighbor out?” You heard the scuffle of footsteps over tile rush toward you.

Sighing in relief, you relinquished two bags to the arms reaching out. “Thanks, Pete! You’re a pe-”

You stopped mid-sentence when your view was finally cleared. Your sixteen-year-old neighbor wasn’t standing before you but a tall man with chestnut hair tied in a knot. Your lips parted slightly as your eyes widened to take in the figure’s full breadth holding your groceries.

Your eyes flicked to Peter as everything came back to focus. He was adjusting your other two bags in his arms.

“Miss (Y/L/N), this is Mr. Barnes from my Stark internship. He’s a friend. He was helping me with some history homework,” Peter explained, gesturing to the hulking man standing outside your apartment door.

“Peter,” you admonished, “how many times-” Last names weren’t meant to be spoken by friends slash neighbors.

Peter winced. “Right! Sorry, (Y/N)!” he apologized. “This is Bucky.”

Recognition crossed your face at the name. Smiling, you stuck out your hand in front of you. “Bucky Barnes, it’s nice to meet you.”

Bucky shifted one of your bags in his arms to reach out his hand. He smiled softly, “ Li-likewise.”  

Chapter Three | Chapter Five

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[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Pacto

Debut: Kirby’s Dream Land 3

Can you feel it in the air? The funkiness? That’s right! Today is a Funky Friday! And this one’s extra funky because it’s also my first post! I’m Mod Sockop! A new mod, it’s a pleasure to meet you all! Most important thing to know about me is I really like Kirby enemies, as the following post will surely prove! At its most basic, Pacto is a large, oblong yellow sphere. That alone is already really good but the features this sphere gets is what makes Pacto Special. For starters, a big gazing eye, everyone loves big round eyes! More importantly, they have a huge gaping maw! Which they can open to extreme lengths to gobble up Kirby.

Originally these mouths were filled with rows of exposed red teeth, in their next appearance, Canvas Curse, they were given wavy lips! Which make their mouths look much cuter when closed, a welcome change personally! Don’t worry red teeth fans, those bad boys are still in there!

After Canvas Curse, all their subsequent appearances have been in 3D, where their teeth are now yellow with red tips! This implies these teeth are part of the mouth itself instead of bony outgrowths, kinda like geese beaks! I personally also welcome this change.

The final feature we need to talk about are these cute little nubs at the base, I personally see them as ears or horns, though some people see them as tiny feet. 

This brings us to a point of controversy among the Kirby community: What’s the symmetry of Pacto’s body plan? Are they meant to be interpreted vertically? If so, that would imply they’re just a head with tiny legs, a singular eye, and a huge gaping mouth where their brain would be.

Or are they meant to be interpreted horizontally? Their brains being located between their two eyes, one on each side, and the mouth being on a regular mouth position.

The 3D models have one eye, which could be an argument for Team Vertical Symmetry, though this could easily just be a way to ease development since Pactos never rotate their bodies anyway. I personally am Team Horizontal Symmetry. Their appearance and their name, both in English and Japanese (Pakuto), seem to make an allusion to Pac-Man, which is meant to be interpreted horizontally!

Come on, the resemblance is uncanny!

Don’t let my position push you to either side though, I personally like both interpretations since they both have a lot of charm to them, we can all live peacefully knowing Pacto exists first and foremost, and we love them for that, regardless of their bauplan symmetry.

Pactos also hide surprising intelligence! As very often they’re found behind or below food items and other goodies, they use bait!!! Where they get these food items and how they put them in ideal bait positions is a mystery, but it’s clearly a working out for them! Especially if they catch players low on health, desperate for a healing item, they’ll rush in and get nommed, the player will then have to mash or shake quickly if they don’t want to become a hearty meal!

Blinded by a burger, Kirby has no idea what’s coming for him….

This feels like a good place to end today’s wonderful entry, but great news! Pacto has 2 alternate forms/related species! Starting with Pacloud, a personal favorite!

Name: Pacloud Debut: Kirby’s Return To Dream Land

I love clouds and I love Pacto, so if you’re like me you are losing your mind at the sight of this lovely image! Unlike Pacto, they have little cloudy circles between their nubs and their eyes, kinda like a very pretty frill, you look very elegant Pacloud! (please compliment them).

Their nubs also look quite distinct, seemingly imitating the horns of a ram! This, combined with their fluffy frill makes them resemble a sheep in more ways than one, and we can all appreciate sheep in videogames.

The teeth on Pacloud are completely white, but strangely enough, they’re a different shade of white from the rest of their body! So these guys’ teeth are actually bony outgrowths and not part of their mouth? What is the truth?!

Those pearly teeth do look very well taken care of so good job Pacloud, proud of your dental hygiene!

Name: Pacflower Debut: Kirby Triple Deluxe

And finally, we have Pacflower! Easily the design that diverges the most from the original Pacto, I do like this guy a lot, It’s a very clever take on Pacto, they’re a flower now! Their body being two distinct petals, like a closed rose! The nubs are now replaced by several leaves surrounding their base, which also makes them look like a strawberry! What a charming little shape! Their eyes have a yellow sclera with pink pupils, which is a very rare eye color to see and I’m all in for it! 

And this is not all! They went in the extra mile with the flower imagery! When they open their mouths, they reveal two small tongues that resemble the Stamen of a flower! Isn’t that delightful? They look like a Hibiscus now :)

Pacflower’s hunting strategy relies on hiding among shrubbery, so their plant-like appearance makes complete sense evolutionarily speaking, it’s mimicry!

Very sneaky…

Pactos come in all shapes and sizes and every single one of them fills my heart with joy, I hope they have the same effect on you readers! Thanks for taking time to appreciate these wonderful creatures!

[otnesse]

Commentary on Peace Walker’s lionization of Che Guevara

Well, guys, as I promised earlier, I’m going to do coverage on a particularly infamous aspect of Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, and quite frankly if you ask me, one of its worst elements. Sorry for the delay, didn’t realize that Peace Walker was actually released on April 29 in Japan and not the 30th. I’m basically going to cover the game’s lionization of Che Guevara in the various briefing files, and in particular Big Boss and Kazuhira Miller’s lionizing of that monster. For a bit of background, Peace Walker was the second canon PSP entry into the Metal Gear series, after Portable Ops (yes, Portable Ops is in fact canon, and if you ask me was a superior game to Peace Walker in terms of story and characterizations at least, but I digress…). The game has some controversial elements, namely it being very overtly anti-American even by its usual standards, not to mention pushing left-wing values to a far greater degree. One of these values is in the blatant promotion of Che Guevara in the briefing files (in the main story itself, ie, strictly going by the actual missions you undergo, the Che love was at least limited to the Sandinistas and to Vladimir Zadornov, with it being left ambiguous as to whether Snake and Miller actually were fond of him, and while you could argue that the Sandinistas’ sympathetic portrayal could point toward a promotion, Zadornov’s promotion was definitely meant to be a negative since he was planning on having Big Boss reenact Che’s well deserved execution after successfully changing Peace Walker’s target to Cuba in a disinformation op. The Briefing Files, however, aside from obviously Amanda and Chico, members of the Sandinistas, they also had Big Boss and Miller singing praises for that jerk.).

My commentary is on how Big Boss and Miller’s promotion of the guy was a complete and total betrayal of their characters, and also a betrayal of the explicit themes of the game, and also how it’s just one sign of Kojima just being a hack writer, not to mention was extremely poorly done even if we were to assume Kojima intended for Big Boss and Miller to be seen as the villains.

Out of character

For the first part, I’ll cover how the gushing for Che Guevara was completely out of character for Big Boss, and especially for Kazuhira Miller, aka, Master Miller from MG2 and MGS, not just going by past entries, but even when taking into account Peace Walker itself and any supplementary materials. I’ll give separate sections for the two of them, since it’s going to be lengthy.

Big Boss

For Big Boss, I’ll acknowledge that he was meant to be the main villain in the MSX2 games, or at least the main antagonist. However, his singing praises for Che Guevara even knowing that tidbit still didn’t make any sense at all, for a variety of reasons. First off, the games, namely Metal Gear Solid 2, strongly implied that Big Boss adhered to a more, for lack of a better term, right wing outlook. For starters, the New York Mirror review for Nastasha Romanenko’s book gave brief coverage on the official reports of what went down on Shadow Moses. In particular, as you can see with the screencaps down below, they specifically called the Sons of Big Boss a “radical right-wing group”, and the group itself for all intents and purposes, was modeled after Big Boss (even Liquid, despite hating his father, nevertheless was influenced by his ideology).

And then we get into the character Solidus, who unlike Liquid, or even Solid Snake, practically idolized his “father” (I put it in quotes since Solidus is a clone of Big Boss, as are Liquid and Solid), to the extent that he was practically ecstatic that Raiden shot out his eye and made him look even MORE like his dad. Aside from that, as you can see below with these screencaps, he was also depicted as a proto-Tea Party type, heck, a proto-MAGA type even, basically wanting America to return to the way the Founding Fathers envisioned it. There’s definitely no way Solidus would have been the type to sing praises for a scumbag like Che Guevara, knowing that, and considering his idolization of Big Boss, it’s also unlikely Big Boss would have sang praises for that creep either.

There’s also the fact that in MGS3, he wasn’t fond of Communism at all, and had already interacted with a guy similar to Che in many respects (well, other than maybe in terms of sexuality), Colonel Yevgeny Borisovitch Volgin, as both were renowned sadists, and even directly attempted to cause nuclear war. In fact, even before the torture, Big Boss, more accurately Naked Snake at that time, learned a bit about Volgin’s past, in particular his involvement in Katyn, and presumably Bykivnia and Kurapaty as well due to EVA’s references to similar massacres occurring in Western Belarus and the Ukraine, as you can see below:

His reaction in that conversation with EVA, in particular Volgin’s personal role in executing those guys, had him downright horrified. Bear in mind that Che Guevara actually DID do several of those things himself, shot innocent and unarmed people, and if anything, unlike Volgin who at least allowed Snake to have weapons on hand to fight him, Che outright dithers when confronted with people using guns, even if they’re his own allies based on his interaction with Jorges Sotus, and to a lesser extent Jesus Carreras. It says a lot when even someone like Volgin, a psychopathic mutant, had more honor than Che Guevara. Plus, in Peace Walker, Big Boss when recalling the Cuban Missile Crisis implied that he blamed that event for his ultimately having to kill The Boss (with Miller even noting it was uncharacteristic of him to get into hypotheticals), as you can see in these screencaps below.

The reason that ties in to Che Guevara is because, believe it or not, Che is the reason why the CMC nearly caused the Cold War to become hot. He and Castro even attempted to launch nukes at the United States, and it actually spooked Khrushchev enough that he had to muzzle Che and agree to end the standoff with the United States via the Turkey Deal (or retrieving Sokolov). Knowing that bit, it’s extremely unlikely Big Boss would have been particularly fond of the guy who essentially set the ground for Operation Snake Eater and his having to kill The Boss. And that’s not even getting into how he tried to stop a nuke being launched not just once in the game, but TWICE, and the second time was a perfect opportunity for him to emulate Che Guevara and succeed where Che failed. When Paz hijacked ZEKE, she revealed that she intended to nuke the Eastern Seaboard and pin the blame on MSF under Cipher’s orders, and yet Big Boss fought her in an attempt to stop her. That definitely wouldn’t have been something Che Guevara would have done, and if anything, he bragged to the London Daily Worker that he WOULD have launched the nukes at America preemptively had they been allowed to remain.

Heck, in Portable Ops and even Peace Walker, or at least the backstory for those games, Big Boss specifically served western interests after Operation Snake Eater. In the former, Big Boss was revealed to have participated in the Mozambique War of Independence, and a comment made by Null, aka, Gray Fox, aka, Frank Jaegar, after being bested the second time around, implied that Big Boss had fought alongside the Portugese during that time (Jaegar at that time was siding with FRELIMO), as you can see from the following screencaps:

And in the tape detailing how he and Miller met (not to mention the extended version included in the Peace and Harmony Blues drama tape that was later included in the Japanese version of Ground Zeroes, specifically chapters 1 and 2), it was mentioned that Kazuhira Miller at the time was a mercenary operating with an implied communist rebel group in Colombia, while Big Boss was clearly siding with the Western-backed government.

I think the events proper for Peace Walker was the first time Big Boss explicitly sided with Communists (not counting Portable Ops, since it’s implied the Russian soldiers renounced their Communism after being abandoned by the Soviet government), and even there, he did it more out of his own personal motives of getting closure regarding The Boss’s true motives after learning she may have somehow survived Snake Eater than out of any liking of Mena/Zadornov’s objectives.

Besides, Big Boss is former CIA, and grunt or not, he'd still need to have at least some degree of knowledge about Che, namely stuff like how Che tried to commit to the Cuban Missile Crisis and make it a hot war, among other things like his instituting gulags in Cuba. And let's not forget, when Gene in Portable Ops tried to pull a similar stunt, Big Boss was genuinely horrified by what he was planning to do.

Kazuhira Miller

Now we get to Kazuhira Miller, aka, Master McDonnell Benedict Miller. Unlike Big Boss, Miller was consistently up to that point depicted as a good guy (probably the closest he got to engaging in villainy was in MGS1 regarding manipulating Snake into arming REX, and even there, he was dead three days before the events of the game, and that had been Liquid who did so). He was also shown to be a huge Che fanboy, and if anything he was depicted as being an even bigger fanboy than Big Boss himself in that game. And Peace Walker also retconned his origins by revealing he was in fact born in Japan with bi-racial ancestry (Japanese and American Caucasian), as he originally was third-generation Japanese American. He was made clear to have more love for America than his own home country of Japan, and only recognized the meaning of peace when talking to his hospitalized mom. He also was mentioned to have been influenced to get into the mercenary business by Yukio Mishima’s suicide, though he does imply that he wasn’t on the same political spectrum as him. Him singing praises for Che Guevara doesn’t work well at all, especially considering that he repeatedly stressed that they not allow another Cuban Missile Crisis to happen, and going by his comments in these screencaps below (in the same briefing file as Big Boss’s uncharacteristically going into hypotheticals, and if anything happened immediately before then), he was fully aware about how Japan itself was almost nuked again thanks to that event (with the only difference being that the Soviets were more likely to nuke them), as you can see with the following screencaps.

Having him sing praises for Che Guevara, whom as I pointed out earlier actually attempted to launch nukes and jumpstart World War III, comes across as ESPECIALLY distasteful knowing that bit, since it comes across as him basically cheering for the guy who tried to wipe out his fellow Japanese, to say little about the Americans, whom back then, he idolized. It would be the same thing as a Holocaust survivor singing praises for Adolf Hitler after narrowly surviving being killed by him. It also doesn’t match up at all with his characterization in MG2 or even MGS1 (and believe me, Liquid posing as Miller or not, his statements to Snake would have been what Miller himself would have said since Snake didn’t seem suspicious at all about him.), the latter regarding the bit about Meryl after she was captured. Even his not being fond of Japan doesn’t cut it, especially when, ignoring that he put that to the side after his mom was hospitalized, the character Sokolov ALSO wasn’t fond of the Soviet Union at all, risked crossing the iron curtain alongside his family to get away from it, and would have been free as a bird had the CMC not happened, and almost got away again until The Boss interfered. Even THERE, however, he still retained at least some degree of love for Russia itself, as when Gene decided to try to nuke Russia (or at least, that’s what Gene led everyone to believe at the time), he secretly went against Gene and adopted the alias of Ghost to aid Big Boss specifically to prevent a nuke from being launched there, being THAT against harming Russia despite hating the Soviet policies. I would have expected Miller to not be fond of Che Guevara at all for that reason.

Overall

The whole thing also didn’t work since if they were meant to be seen as heroes, it ticks off a whole lot of players who are fully aware of some of the crap Che Guevara caused and know his true nature, and regarding painting them as a villain, the problem is that the story DOESN’T depict them as villains for that. Heck, they don’t even STATE any bad things Che did other than maybe dying, and if anything, the way everyone was talking, you’d think he’d walk on water. If Kojima wanted to depict Big Boss and Miller as villains by having him sing praises for Che, the very least he could have done was make sure to specifically reference Che Guevara’s role in nearly causing the Cold War to go Hot by the time of the Cuban Missile Crisis and his being upset at the nukes being removed.

Apparently, if Kojima’s secretary is of any indication, the reason the Che love was in the game was because Kojima himself tried to force in his socio-political views into the game in blatant disregard for the narrative and characterizations therein, as you can see below with links (screencaps will have to be in an addendum post since, unfortunately, I've hit my limit regarding screencap postings):

https://twitter.com/Kaizerkunkun/status/900937994143649792

https://twitter.com/Kaizerkunkun/status/1179860611297153038

https://twitter.com/Kaizerkunkun/status/1190763430497542144

Themes

The Che praise doesn’t work too well with the themes either, since he was not a peaceful man, even called himself the opposite of Christ, and tried to start a nuclear war. It definitely goes against the stated themes of the game, which was peace, not to mention the anti-nuke themes of the overall franchise. Heck, if anything, specifically referencing Che’s attempt at nuking the US and causing Nuclear War, and by extension outright condemning him for it would have worked much better with the themes of anti-nukes, especially considering that they made sure to reference Vasily Arkhipov’s actions during the Cuban Missile Crisis at one point, not to mention referenced both Katyn and the fact that the Turkey silos were already rendered obsolete even before the Turkey Deal made removing them required due to the advent of nuclear subs in Snake Eater earlier. And without the references to that, or any other bad stuff, you’re literally left thinking that he must be a good guy. I’d know because I fell for that myself, especially after getting the game (I didn’t follow the briefing files, but I did follow the cutscenes on YouTube back when it was still in Japan, and I also was baffled as to how people were talking about Big Boss and Miller were Che fanboys since the cutscenes never even pointed in either direction, and if anything, Big Boss nearly being killed by Zadornov would probably point to him NOT liking Che afterwards due to nearly being forced into Che’s fate).

The only thing it did was just have Kojima force in his political and social views, and I’ll be blunt, that kind of crap is something I have distaste in, I hate having propaganda pushed onto me. Ironically, Kojima or at least the Benson books for MGS1 and MGS2, instilled that view onto me. So my anger at Kojima doing that, after learning what Che was truly like in one of the Politically Incorrect Books (either Vietnam War or the 1960s one), is very much personal as well as political and social.

Aftermath

Well, as I said, I did buy into the narrative around the time Peace Walker was released, but then I learned I was being tricked by Kojima after reading the PIG books. I’d argue that event definitely was a watershed event for me. Not only did it have me lose any respect I might have had for Kojima, it also influenced my outlook on life, left me becoming distrustful the second I started picking up how they’re trying to push an agenda instead of, say, actually teaching the material in college. It also may have influenced my later views on Star Wars and Disney’s Beauty and the Beast (specifically, George Luca’s open admission to basing the Ewoks/Rebels on the Vietcong, and especially modeling the Galactic Empire after American soldiers; and Linda Woolverton admitting that she was trying to push a radical feminist agenda in Beauty and the Beast, the same one she tried to push in that awful Maleficent movie. Though I also was becoming disturbed with Belle for reasons other than that bit due to researching the French Revolution, though I will acknowledge Big Boss and Kazuhira Miller’s fanboying of Che Guevara, and in particular their reference to Sartre and his infamously singing praises for Che as “the most complete human being of the century”, certainly worsened my views on Belle, thinking that she may turn out like Sartre and throw her lot with the Jacobins and other groups.). It also left me distrusting of whatever Metal Gear had to say, may have also led to my not liking Chris Redfield after Resident Evil 5, or heck, some of the more anti-American commentary in 5 and other games, and also Dead Rising. It also influenced my decision to become a Dead or Alive fan (especially when before, I wasn’t particularly fond of the game due to the fanservice stuff), and in particular a Tina and Bass fan. May have also influenced my later distaste of Greg Berlanti’s writing of Arrowverse shows, in particular Supergirl starting with Season 2 (though that also had Heroes Redemption as a factor, which predated Peace Walker, thanks to how it changed Claire Bennet).

[leilabeaux]

The Best Angle

Masterlist

Pairing: Alex Høgh Andersen x Fem Reader

Word Count: 1129

Summary: Alex just wants to take your picture.

Warnings: Schmut including brief oral (female receiving)

Author’s Note: This was originally inspired by this TikTok which I shared with my dearest @punkrocknpearls who is a very bad influence and had to bring up Alex and his camera.

TikTok Prompt: We were in front of a mirror. He stopped in the middle of it, handed me my glasses and said “watch yourself to see how pretty you are while I fuck you.”

----

You were sitting back on the bed, legs crossed in front of you. The bottom half of your face you covered with the magazine you were pretending to read while watching your boyfriend set up the tripod and his camera at the foot of the bed. You couldn’t help but blush and then cover your entire face when he looked up from what he was doing to smile at you.

The bed dipped as Alex crawled over to your side. He pulled the magazine away and threw it to the ground. He took your hand in his own and gave it a soft squeeze.

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I’d never force you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.” He reassured you.

“No, I told you it was okay.” You shook your head but then brought your gaze down to the bedspread. “I’m just a little shy. What if your camera only gets all of my bad angles?”

“There’s no such thing.” He cradled the sides of your face in his hands as he brought you in for a deep kiss, his tongue sliding into your mouth to dance along yours. Pulling back, he gave you a small peck on your lips. “I just want you to see what I see. When you’re under me, when you’re over me.”

He pushed you down onto the bed, his lips were at your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses. “I want you to see the gorgeous face you make when I’m so deep inside of you. Fuck, baby, I get so hard on set when I think of how pretty you look when you come on my dick.”

You let out a whimper when you felt his hand slide down into your panties, his fingers circling around your clit. You were already dripping wet for him. It was always like this. Just a single touch from him and you were gone.

“It’s okay, baby. If you don’t want to do this, tell me and I’ll put my camera away right now.” He pressed his hardness against your thigh, rubbing against it.

You brought your head down to kiss him before whispering against his lips, “Where do you want me?”

——

The drops of sweat and tears were falling from your face and down your body. Alex’s arm was wrapped around your chest as he held onto you while he pounded into you from behind. The two of you were positioned in the middle of the bed, facing toward the camera. He wanted to make sure to get your entire body in the shot for when you eventually came again.

It had been over an hour ago since he took the first picture. The camera was pointed down to you, your head just barely hanging over the foot of the bed while his face was buried in your pussy. You at first tried to put forth your best model face that would make Tyra proud but all effort was lost when Alex started flicking his tongue against your clit.

Hearing another flurry of clicks from the camera shutter, you were surprised his camera still had memory left. You weren’t even sure if you had anything left as he continued his brutal pace behind you.

“Nuh-uh, I think you have one more left in you, baby.” He breathed out into your neck. You didn’t even remember saying anything out loud. “Just look at yourself there in the mirror.”

You let out a giggle as you stared at the mirror behind the camera, it was too far away for you to see the two of you clearly without your glasses. You felt Alex stop his movements before letting out a laugh himself.

“Oh! Let me get them for you. Don’t move!” He ordered, stretching over to the nightstand to fetch your glasses and hand them to you.

You gasped when you felt him penetrate you again before you even had a chance to put them on.

“See how pretty my girl is.” He was giving you slow, hard thrusts that had you crying out while your eyes rolled to the back of your head. “Come on, beautiful, pay attention.”

You finally brought your eyes forward and caught his gaze in the mirror. He looked just as gone as you were, his face slick with sweat. You shut your eyes tightly when you felt his fingers circling around your clit again.

“Fuuuck, look at you taking my dick so good, baby. You’re always so tight for me, always so good for me. Come on, baby, come for me one more time. Please?” He rushed his whispers into your ear.

Jesus, this man’s whines were going to be the death of you. You gave a glance at yourself in the mirror, your mouth was open wide but no words were forming until your orgasm hit you. Bringing your hand back and around his head, your fingers tangled themselves in his long locks. You tugged down hard as you screamed out his name.

You could barely hear the rush of the camera clicks over your moans as Alex got the final shot he was looking for. He tossed the remote control to the side and then wrapped his arm around you, his hold on your shoulder tightened. His pace was relentless but sloppy as he spilled inside of you.

You looked up at the mirror one last time. You looked like a sexed up mess and you doubted there would be a good picture in that camera but no part of you cared.

——

After a quick shower and getting into your pajamas, you were both cuddled up under the covers. Your head was on his shoulder as you laid at his side with his arm around you. His camera was in his other hand, holding it up as you two looked at the screen, scrolling through all the shots he got that night.

“What are you doing?” You asked when you saw him going to delete an image.

“I wasn’t really going to keep them.” He confessed to you. “I wouldn’t want to risk this falling into the wrong hands. This was just...a fantasy I had.”

You nibbled on your lip and pondered what he was telling you. “How about we keep just one?” You smiled up at him.

Alex clicked through all the pictures, going back and forth to see which one he wanted out of the hundreds taken. He landed on one of the last ones. The one of you just as you were coming. Your mouth was hanging open, your glasses were skewed. His face brushed up against your neck as he was in mid thrust.

Now that one truly had the best angle.

----

Taglist: @xbellaxcarolinax @castielsangelsx @revolution-starter @momowhoo @peachyboneless @punkrocknpearls @love-all-things-writing

[dent-de-leon]

Mollymauk, 4, 5, 11, 13, 14, 15, 21, 22 :D (feel free to trim down if this is too many)

asksjkdf I'm sorry in advance because I got a little carried away so this got a little long, but thanks for the ask! I love any and every excuse to talk about Mollymauk...

4.) Best places to kiss on their body

I think Molly is actually very partial to forehead kisses! I feel like he uses that to ground Caleb in part because it’s something that’s always been very comforting to him--for instance, when Yasha finally gets to embrace him again, she also kisses his forehead. I think I remember Molly doing this for the twins back at the carnival too, so I feel like it’s a habit he picked up from the circus? Just the kind of little thing you do for someone to show you love them.

Aside from that, I think he would really appreciate a kiss on the neck, where most of his blood hunter scars--and that haunting red Eye--are. A bit of loving tenderness to soothe the pain.

5.) Guilty pleasures

Oh I love this pick for Molly cause boY does he have a lot of these!! He builds a life off joy and hedonism, so he’s got this in spades. I forget where, but I’ve definitely seen someone theorize before that the reason base pleasures are so appealing to Molly is because he started out just feeling like an “Empty” body, so anything that’s very stimulating on a physical level is very grounding for him? I really like the idea of that. I think wanting to feel like he was really “alive” and “whole” is part of why he gravitated towards decadence and indulgence, anything that made his heart beat faster.

The episode where we get the famous “Long may I reign” scene definitely covers a lot of his favorite indulgences. But as much as he loves being spoiled, I think he also likes making sure the people he cares about are pampered like royalty too. Taliesin mentioned before that the reason Molly likes gold so much is because he’s got this very childish perception that money is Good because you can use it to get Nice Things that make other people Happy. Since Molly’s been alive for only two years, I feel like a lot of his guilty pleasures actually stem from this sort of sentiment. The fact that he’s still so young and everything in the world is very new and exciting and he just wants to be as happy as possible--and make his loved ones happy too. It’s a very endearingly innocent sort of view.

11.) Bad or petty habits

Hmmm I feel like the one thing that makes Molly the pettiest is when someone tries to tell him his tarot readings are bullshit lmao. Even if he mostly thinks so himself, he adamantly refuses to hear it from anyone else.

13.) What gets them flustered

I think whenever someone is being very genuine and having a real heart to heart with him. Molly is perfectly at ease talking bullshit or telling pretty lies. He’s also very comfortable being very sincere and compassionate when it comes to comforting others, like the little ways he’s always trying to cheer up Jester, the forehead kiss for Caleb, promising Fjord the Nein won’t let him die, bringing Yasha a four-leaf-clover with the wish that one day she’ll feel happier.

But whenever people are openly affectionate and trying to have an honest conversation with him? I think that makes him tense up and panic a bit. He’s not good with letting himself be vulnerable, dropping his showman’s performance. We actually see a lot of this when Molly is resurrected and starts going by Kingsley. He knows he has feelings for the Nein, but he’s definitely a little nervous and overwhelmed when he confronts that.

Several times, Caleb assures King he’s still welcome in the Nein, and that always makes Kingsley either defensive or very quiet, keeps catching him off-guard. “Well for starters, you are with friends.” “Perhaps this is your first time meeting us. It's our second time...Stick with us.” “We have a habit of taking in strays.” “This is the newest member of the band.” Being accepted just like that, loved by all the Nein so unconditionally, just like that? I think it leaves him a little shaken, because he doesn’t feel like he’s done anything to earn it. Like he doesn’t deserve to be this missed and wanted and loved.

14.) Ingrained habits/forces of habit

I think there are some nights where he keeps looking over his shoulder and feels like he’s being watched--when the Eyes of Nine start to itch and burn, when it feels like something’s crawling under his skin--and he looks at the mirror and swears he sees a face that looks just the same but somehow isn’t his. And for a while after he first wakes--and again when he’s resurrected--I think there are still moments when he’s scared or panicked and he’ll just keep repeating Empty over and over.

I also really like how Taliesin used to just pick a random card from his tarot deck to decide what Molly should do. I can definitely see Mollymauk doing something similar--just pulling a random card from his deck on a whim, trusting it’ll lead him in the right direction.

15.) What it takes to make them cry

I feel like Molly rarely cries, mainly because he hates feeling sorry for himself or ruminating on any bad memories. He’s kinda funny that way; he refuses to let himself be unhappy, especially when he feels like he’s always living on borrowed time. The one thing I can see really making him break down is seeing his loved ones hurting--he literally spits at the face of his own death, but I think he’s really terrified of losing someone else.

If there’s one scene where I can really see Molly crying, it’s when Jester falls in that final battle. When Caleb makes this desperate plea that breaks through to Molly for a single heart-wrenching moment, “You’re killing her, you’re killing her! You love her. You’re killing her!” The absolute horror of that shakes Lucien’s control for just a moment, and Molly claws at his own face in retaliation. You can just tell how much his heart is breaking just then, how scared he is, how much he must hate himself. I could definitely imagine Molly shedding a few tears right then, if he had enough control of the body to do it.

Having to watch Lucien use his body to kill Jester and Caleb, the amount of pain Lucien caused Yasha and all the others, the nightmares of his death and black chains that forever haunt him after--I think those are the kinds of things that would bring Molly to tears in his lowest moments. And when he finally reads Beau’s book and finds out about how Yasha suffered a similar fate under Obann? Yeah, I think he’d get choked up over that too.

21.) Turning points in their life

Oh, there’s so many interesting twists and turns Molly’s life takes in just a few short years. Undoubtably, I think every life, death, and rebirth left the biggest impact. The fact that he woke all alone that first time--and then found himself surrounded by so many loved ones a lifetime later--I think that had a profound impact on his sense of self worth and his attachment to others.

That first life, Molly convinces himself that he must have been someone awful before, to have been left alone in an unmarked grave on the side of the road. With no one who missed or mourned him. He believes he somehow deserves that fate. And when he’s taken in by the circus? Taliesin mentions he never spends more than 24 hours alone. He’s...very lonely, I think. Someone who can’t bear to be isolated again. So when he wakes up again to a whole family of people who love him? Who welcome him wholeheartedly and insist they’ll love him unconditionally, no matter who he is? It’s beautiful, and it means the world to someone like Mollymauk/Kingsley. “I’m looking forward to the future. And I hope to deserve to have woken up surrounded by such people.”

Molly’s also mentioned that it was the Moonweaver who helped guide him when he first woke, who gave him comfort in having a new start in life. “Can you imagine what it would feel like to not feel anything about anything that had happened to you so far?...It’s very freeing. It’s the best thing--It’s the thing that happened to me. It’s not the best thing that happened to me, it’s the thing that happened to me. I found peace in building a new person. The Moonweaver--” However he came to worship the Moonweaver, I think it was definitely one of the most formative experiences in all his lives. I also like to headcanon the woman in a red coat Molly/King met in his dream was another visit from the Moonweaver, and she was either trying to return his memories or offer him another chance at a fresh start.

22.) People who’ve influenced them greatly

Oh, pre-campaign I think Molly modeled a lot of his behaviors and mannerisms after others in the circus, especially Gustav. He’s the one who named Mollymauk and presumably the one who spent the most time raising him and caring for him in that Empty period.

Molly has his own set of morals he feels very strongly about, and it’s entirely learned from the circus, “Things came back quick, and the circus helped. They were good people. They did a lot for me, and joy can fill an awful lot of a person’s life.” “I may be a liar, but I’m never a betrayer. I’m honest in my work and I believe in doing a good turn...I stayed with that circus for two years, and I know how people treat each other. It’s important.” When Molly is resurrected again, I think all of the Mighty Nein have very much the same effect on him.

[munsontm]

✘ + betty !

send ✘ + a word & I'll write a headcanon i have for my muse about it ! - ACCEPTING. @musecraft

For starters, see my last image post for the name reference of Betty.

Betty is the name of Eddie's guitar and is named after his first crush adult actress and model Bettie Page. He named Betty that because, well, it was love at first sight with both ladies, and Eddie worked his ass off to buy guitar Betty after the spotting her in a window. He already had a guitar, but it was nothing like baby Betty, and he had to have it at any cost.

He was actually quite frantic to raise the funds and turned to other modes of money making besides drugs to get Betty. He did odd jobs where and whenever, sometimes goon without his sleep because his determination was that blind. Once Eddie Munson sets his eyes on a prize. He gets what he wants.

It took a couple of months to scrape the cash together. Fortunately, very few people in Hawkins cared about having such a beautiful instrument, so Eddie got lucky with no one buying her first. She's been the source of his inspiration for some years since, and a source of comfort when he felt low. Betty might not be a sentient object, but she's never let him down like a person might, and he's always happy when she's there giving him his medicine made from music.

[moondustis]

one more time (m)

pairing: jung jaehyun + reader genre: smut, angst, fluff / friends to lovers | wc: 9,4k summary: Maybe this right here is a story about growing up and finding yourself, or about finding love and being vulnerable. But it definitely is a story about friendship, skating, pancakes and Jung Jaehyun learning how to deal with his feelings. song rec: and july - heize ft. dean / i think - tyler the creator / thinking about you - frank ocean 

Jung Jaehyun is born on February 14 of 1997, valentine’s day. He is a cute and healthy baby, as he should be and cries from being outside the comfort of his mother’s belly for the first time. 

He grows up well, loved and cherished by the ones around him and filling his mother’s heart with joy and pride. He’s a happy child, then a smart teenager, just a little shy but still outgoing enough to be surrounded by friends all the time. 

He meets Seo Johnny at school and learns a lot of things from him, but most importantly he learns how to skate. And Johnny is a good friend, a good example as his mother says, because even if sometimes they skip school, he teaches Jaehyun that crying after he falls a bit too hard from a trick doesn’t make him less of a man. And Jaehyun embraces that, thinks that he always had too many feelings inside of him to begin with and he deals with all of them. 

And he’s okay, for the most part but somewhere along the way something shifts and it’s not as easy anymore. It’s not as easy as falling down on the hard concrete of his sidewalk and getting up again because college had a way of changing people, and it does a good job on him. He shuts down a good part of himself to other people, stays in his closed circle of friendships and leads his life like that, hoping that he can finally graduate and do something he actually enjoys, but at the same time dreading that day, because he wasn't sure if he was ready for the pressure of having to know exactly where to go in life. 

Maybe this right here is a story about growing up and finding yourself, or about finding love and being vulnerable. But it definitely is a story about friendship, skating, pancakes and Jung Jaehyun learning how to deal with his feelings. 

✿

Jung Jaehyun is a fuckboy. 

Ok, not literally, but he fits the stereotype suspiciously well. For starters he’s one of the guys that like to skate around campus, and dresses like someone that probably listens to Mac Miller or Tyler, the Creator, with his vans and oversized t-shirts. To make matters worse he looks like a model, walking around with his perfect face and perfect body, making literally every girl in the class you share together swoon every time he walks into the room.  And honestly that’s all you have against him, because he doesn’t actually sleep around all that much and breaks girls hearts. Not that you have heard of at least and it was a relatively small campus. 

But see, Jaehyun is a confusing person, because even if he goes around the campus screaming as his friends do flips or whatever they’re called and sometimes wears t-shirts that say things like ‘fuck cops’, he’s also incredibly quiet and kinda shy from the interactions you had seen him have with your classmates. And on top of all that, he’s majoring in education to become an elementary teacher, like that isn’t the most adorable career in the world.

So yeah, he confuses you. Even more when your first interaction ever with him goes like this: 

You’re in the middle of Psychology 101, the coffee in your system being the only thing keeping your two eyes wide open as the teacher goes on with the lecture. You are not sure if you are really paying attention or just writing down whatever he says, because underneath all that coffee you’re actually very tired from staying up late writing an assignment, and soon the caffeine boost will go away, leaving you with the weird feeling of exhaustion. 

The ‘pssts’ start low. So low that you don’t even notice, but when a very insistent one is accompanied by a finger poking your back, you have to turn around to see what is going on, being met with Jung Jaehyun, cheeks pink, looking at you with a bashful look. 

“Hi.” Is all he says and nothing else, in a rushed whisper as the teacher continues on with the talking.

You blink slowly because the coffee doesn't actually make you think faster, before you’re whispering back “Uh, hi.” 

“Sorry for interrupting you.” That’s very considerate of him to say, your mind provides. “But I skipped the last class and was wondering if you took notes of it? So I can, like, copy them. Please.” 

He adds the last word quickly, as if he’s afraid you’ll think of him as rude otherwise. You haven’t done that much thinking about Jaehyun in the past, just the here and there thoughts, but none of them had been about him being anything but nice. And a fuckboy, but that’s beside the point.

“Oh.” You just look at him for a second before you’re snapping out of it, shaking your head as you turn to your notebook. “Sorry. You can, sure.” You flip your notes until you’re on the page you had messily written down the notes for last class, overreacting for a second that he would think you are stupid because of your terrible handwriting. But all he does is take your notebook when you offer it to him, quickly snapping a picture with his phone before he’s handing it to you again.

He thanks you with a smile that’s almost not there but that still makes your heart flutter involuntary. You had a thing for cute boys what could you do? So you smile back and it stays like that for another second until he decides to break the awkwardness. 

“Uhm, are you going to Taeil’s party this weekend?” Multiple questions fill your mind at that. Who’s Taeil? What party? Why the fuck was he asking you that? Are you hallucinating this from your lack of sleep?

“I’ll probably drop by to see how it is.” Is the lie you reply with, a shrug helping you play the unbothered act too well. It’s a little pathetic if you think about, but that’s the thing, you’re not thinking at all. 

“Oh, cool. I’ll see you there, then.” And that’s it, that’s the entire interaction and it leaves you confused for the remaining of the lecture, wondering if that actually did really happen because it sure felt a bit unreal. 

When you get to your dorm room after your class, the coffee high is completely gone and you feel ready to plop down on your bed and sleep for 5 hours until you have to be up again to finish assignments. But before you can do that. you see your roommate, Jungwoo, eating cereal on the kitchen counter and you can’t help but ask. 

“Do you know a Taeil?” Again, it was a small campus so there were probably not many Taeils around. That and Jungwoo actually knew a lot of people, from his connections, as he liked to say.

He thinks about it for a second, over a spoonful of cereal before he’s saying “Moon Taeil? Yeah he's in my class.” You can’t even be bothered by him speaking with his mouth full and the fact that you’re absolutely not sure if that’s the Taeil you’re looking for. 

“Nice. Do you wanna go to his party this weekend?” A bold invitation that makes Jungwoo raise one eyebrow at you. 

“What? Why do you wanna do that?” In all honesty you don’t know either, probably something about a really attractive man and your very out of usual interaction with him, but you won’t tell him that because facing Jungwoo’s teasing was exhausting. 

You shrug. “Just because.” 

That makes him squint his eyes at you. “Okay…. It's just that you don't go to parties.” In your defense, you do. You just hadn’t been to one since your freshman year, a whole one year and a half ago. 

“Jungwoo it’s a simple question.” You huff in annoyance because you’re tired and every moment that you spend in his presence is another step closer to just spilling everything about your short and weird interaction with Jung Jaehyun. “Do you want to or not?” 

“Yes.” He replies quickly, still giving you a weird look. “I can't miss the opportunity of seeing you drunk again.

“I'm not getting drunk.” You simply say before you’re walking to your room.

✿

You get very drunk, smashed even, from something pink and slightly citrusy that you and Jungwoo had downed shot after shot of. The party was, well, a party. It wasn’t full but there was definitely more people than there should be at a house this small, and the songs playing weren’t exactly that bad, you even recognized one or two. 

And Jungwoo was as splattered as you, but he still offered to fetch you some water, with a promise of staying glued to the wall coming from you. And that’s where Jung Jaehyun finds you, barely standing still from how drunk you are. 

“___!” He says happily, catching you off guard and you wonder how he knew your name. But again you knew his and you shared a class together. 

He looks good, is the first thing you notice, with a snapback and a t-shirt that has a small bear on it and is too big for him. “Jaehyun!” You reply in the same fashion as he said your name and it makes him smile, a different one from the last time. 

“It’s nice seeing you here.” He says, moving to stand next to you on the wall and you’re just slightly overwhelmed by how good he smells. The world around you spins for a moment and you giggle for no reason. “Are you having a good time?” 

“Ugh!” First of all, a disclaimer. Drunk you was absolutely and completely stupid, a fool that liked to say nonsense and that’s why you say the next words. “Do we really have to do small talk right now?” 

He laughs at your childish whine, looking at you with eyes filled with amusement and appearing just a little drunk. Definitely less drunk than you. “What should we talk about, then?” 

Maybe he’s a bigger fool than you are for even entertaining your silliness. “I don’t know.” You look at him through hooded eyes, probably pouting from trying to think of something to say to a guy you just talked for the first time a week ago. “Don’t you miss, like, when we were kids and could just talk about whatever? Like what’s your favorite color, you know? Why did we stop doing that?”

In the back of your head, the sound of clown music starts playing. He on the other hand seems amazed by your blabbering. “Favorite colors?” His voice is just about teasing and you groan in slightly embarrassment. 

“You know what? Forget it. Shhhhh.” You drunkenly press one finger to his lips as if to emphasize your shushing. His lips twitch in the want to smile. “Let’s just do something else.” 

You don’t realize that your words sound suggesting but he does, raising one eyebrow and smiling at you. “Hmm, like what?” 

He moves closer to you but before you have the time to react, Jungwoo is coming back, water bottle on his hand and a look on his face that says he thinks you’re up to no good. He eyes you up and down before looking at Jaehyun and doing the same. He looks slightly more sobered up, but still tipsy.

“Jungwoo!” You exclaim, holding your hands out for the water bottle. 

He looks between you and Jaehyun before saying “Hello. Who are you?” It would have sounded slightly rude if it weren't for the cute tone he uses. 

You’re quick to say “This is Jaehyun, he’s-“

“I’m her friend.” He says it naturally and you wonder when you had gained that title, the giggle you let out against your own will, too drunk for you own good. 

Jungwoo says something to him that you don’t quite catch but then he’s dragging you away with a whine coming from your lips as you wave a sad goodbye to Jaehyun from behind your shoulder and he does the same with an amused smile.

“I leave you one minute alone and you try to act a fool in front of a man that good looking.” He whispers as you walk away and all you can do in return is laugh out loud.  You would probably not even remember any of this tomorrow, anyway. 

✿

You remember everything, of course. And Jaehyun starts saying hi to you every time he sees you around campus after that, always with a smile and his dimples showing up, making you blush in a silly way. But it’s only after two weeks that you finally talk with him again.

You had met Taeyong on your freshman year and after finding out he was really similar to you, you had become friends quickly. He was someone that everyone immediately felt comfortable around, that’s why it was no surprise when you find out at his birthday party that he’s friends with Jaehyun too. 

When you arrive at the party, Jungwoo by your side, there’s not many faces that you don’t know and after you hug Taeyong with a kiss to his cheek, you spot him standing by the kitchen counter. There’s a beer in his hand and he’s wearing all black, a sight that you don’t mind looking at.

He doesn’t notice you at first, his focus on a taller guy talking to him, but when he does he greets you with a wide smile that is enough to turn your legs into jelly by itself, but then he’s making his way towards you. Your heart starts beating a tiny bit faster, your hand moving to fix your hair in habit. 

“Hello.” He greets and Jungwoo decides that’s a good time to leave you side and go talk to his other friends, not even sparing you an explanation. He knew what he was doing. “Didn’t know you were friends with Taeyong.”

You smile like a silly girl. “Yup, he’s like my soulmate.” 

His smile grows wider at that, a pair of dimples making their way to his face and you almost groan because there’s no way he could get any more charming than this. “That's how I know you are a good person.” He jokes and you let out a snort, giving him a funny look. 

“Our first interaction was me letting you borrowing my notes, that should've been enough.” You point out in a teasing manner, not really meaning the words. 

“You’re right.” The ghost of a smile graces his lips as he defends himself, the faint sight of a blush gracing his cheeks as he avoids your eyes.

He offers to get you a beer after that, leading you to the kitchen with a hand on your back that feels weirdly nice. You were never one to get stupid crushes but that’s exactly how you feel around him, like at any moment you will say or do anything really dumb because of your infatuation. You wonder if it’s because of his looks or the way he seems a little shy around you.

“By the way, you never told me your favorite color that night.” He says, eyes twinkling with mischief as he offers you the beer, which you gladly take after immediately letting out a groan.

“Ugh, shut up. Don’t remind me of that.” You are sure your entire face is red from embarrassment at just the thought of the things you had said that night. It wasn’t even that bad, Jungwoo had said, but you like to overreact, so you cover your face with your free hand.

“Why? It was cute.” His voice is filled with amusement and when you peak from under your hand you can see his face is as well. “I like how funny you are.” 

The words only make your face get hotter as you smile awkwardly. You were far from funny, your friends liked to remind you of that fact. But how could you be when you had friends like Jungwoo that absolutely made everyone in a room laugh without even trying. But still, his words make you feel a little proud, that at least you were able to make a pretty guy think that. 

“I don't have a favorite color, it always changes.” You say suddenly, going back to the previous subject to avoid making the conversation about you. Even if you had to talk about something like favorite colors. “I like when the sky turns pink during sunset, I guess you could say it’s that one right now. ” 

He hums, taking a sip of his beer before saying “It's a good one.” 

You huff, he was really trying hard for a conversation about such a stupid matter. Still, you continue to entertain it. “What's yours?”

He pursues his lips, think about it for a second. “I don't know… I like black.”

“Obviously.” You deadpan and it makes him laugh like you actually said something funny. 

Jaehyun stays by your side for the rest of the night, trying his best not to make small talk and it surprises you how easy he is to talk to. He asks you about your favorite everything, from animals to movies and it’s really nice to find out you two have more in common than you would ever imagine. By the end of the party you are glued to his side on a probably too crowded couch, his close proximity making you warm all over and only bothering the butterflies on your stomach more.

It’s when he lets out a loud laugh at something Jungwoo and Yukhei are going back and forth about, hiding his face on your shoulder as his whole body shakes with laughter, that you know for a fact you’re fucked. Completely fucked.

✿

Jaehyun and you become friends very fast after Taeyong’s birthday. It’s almost weird, because both of you seem to be just a little too shy for you own good, but things just happen naturally when you are with him.

It starts with silly jokes passed around in notes on your shared lecture, with your face turning red from how hard you try not to laugh out loud and sharing your favorite songs with each other. Then it becomes grabbing a coffee after class, and sharing something sweet because you both deserve it after enduring such a boring lecture. It all leads to what it is now, two months later and your days are filled with Jaehyun’s comfortable presence, his laugh and late nights texts about any subject that comes to mind and sharing your biggest dreams and some of your fears with him. 

It scares you at the same time it makes you extremely happy, because you had never been someone who had many friends, letting people in and connecting was hard, so you decided very early that navigating life with a few close friends was enough. But Jaehyun makes it all seem very easy and it’s suddenly like you can’t imagine your life without him anymore. 

That brings you to where you are right now. You have both had a long week and decided that it would be nice to have a movie night, and after you had ate the chinese takeout you ordered, you settle on on his couch as romantic comedy movie plays. You’re both comfortable, his eyes stayed glued on the screen, laughing as a character makes a joke about oral sex. Maybe that’s why you ask your next question out of nowhere. Or maybe you’re just stupid. Probably the last one.

“Have you… Have you ever gone down on a girl?” The words are stammered out as you look down your lap, cheeks going pink. You immediately regret asking because you can feel his eyes on you as he searches for a response.

“Wha -- Where did that come from?” It’s even more unsettling that you can’t pinpoint exactly what he’s thinking. Sometimes Jaehyun was hard to read, and that bothered you. 

The small laugh that leaves your lips is fake. “It's a silly question, right? Sorry, I wasn't thinking.”You continue avoiding his eyes, picking at the nail polish that was already chipping on your fingers. 

“Its okay.” He’s quick to say, always making sure you’re not unsure of yourself.  “And, yeah. I mean, I have, of course.”

He says as if it’s obvious. As if it’s something that he absolutely needed to do and all you can say back is “Oh.” 

“Why?” It’s a good question, really. Because you have no idea where you are trying to go with this conversation, but now it got him to pause the movie and to look at you with expectation on his eyes. So you can’t do anything but continue. 

“I don't know…” You gulp down, slightly shaking at what you’re about to say. “I have never — No one has ever done that to me.” 

“Never?” He sounds surprised, annoyed even, but you wouldn’t know what he looks like because you continue to avoid his face, playing with the hem of you skirt instead now. 

There was no reason that you two should be having this conversation, because you were friends and nothing else. But again, friends talked about this all the time. Friends could talk about sex right? Friends could share experiences and joke about it without getting awkward or making a complete big deal out of something so normal. 

Jaehyun lets out a deep breath and then it’s silence for a second. You feel small and embarrassed, because deep down you know that you didn’t say this just as a normal friendly comment. It’s like somehow, you knew exactly that he would say what he does. Or better yet, proposition it. 

“I could…” His words are tentative, almost a whisper as if he wants to put the two of you in a bubble that no one can break in. “I could show you.”

Your eyes widen as you look at him “What? You — What?” 

And Jaehyun is so gentle, as he slides over the couch to be next to you, and give you the comfort you need, and as he cradles your cheeks with his hands. “W-We don’t have to.” He assures, but something on his voice that says he really wants to. “But I'll take care of you. If you let me.”

He’s too much, you think as you stare at his face with glossy eyes. There’s a line that’s been placed on your friendship, a very fine line between what it is now and what it could become. Right now that line is wavering, even more when all you can do is nod your head slowly, giving him all the agreement he needs to press his lips against yours.

It’s a sweet kiss, his lips molding to yours and you can’t help but sigh. It feels right, even if it maybe isn’t. He kisses you with the delicacy of someone who knows this could ruin something good, but at the same time with the determination of someone who wants this too much to care. 

He tilts his head, deepening it as he sucks on your bottom lip before he’s swirling his tongue on it, asking for entrance that you so gladly gives. And you’re not completely inexperienced, you had done this before and knows, how it feels to have someone on top of you, how it feels to have someone try to make you feel good, but when his tongue slides against yours you can feel your head spin and the arousal on the pit of your stomach only grows. 

It’s with slow and calculated moves that he gets you to lay on the couch, with him pressing kisses all over your neck and wherever he can. You watch with your heart beating too fast as he moves down, lifting your shirt a bit past your navel so he can kiss there too, and then he’s slipping your skirt off. 

It makes you antsy being in only your panties in front of him, even more when it’s just a simple cotton and pink material, but he pays it no mind. Instead he continues to press kisses all over your thighs, holding them apart when you try to close them and you shiver in anticipation.

“Are you nervous?” He asks, with fingers hooked on each side of your underwear, about to pull them down. 

You huff because isn’t it obvious? You’re about to have someone eat you out for the first time. Your friend out of all people. “Y-yes.” 

He smiles at you, a smile too sweet for what he's about to do but you still smile back. “Don’t be, I’ll make you feel good.” 

And you know he will because he’s a man of his words.

You close your eyes tightly as he slides your panties off, resisting the urge to completely close your legs because he’s so close and you feel so exposed. And he wastes no time, face just above you and when his fingers come in contact you jump a little. 

You feel as he parts your lower lips, a puff of breath making a shiver run down your body and then he’s pressing a kiss to your most sensitive spot. A whine leaves your lips because of the new feeling, and it only gets higher when his lips close around you, sucking like he has a purpose. It’s almost overwhelming, both because it’s him and because it’s the first time. He licks at your clit, with swirls of his tongue that are kitten like before he’s flattening his tongue down to your entrance, lapping at it and gathering your wetness so he can move to your clit again. 

You trash around and wail, too sensitive but too into it, even more with the way he grips at your thighs to keep them open. He seems to enjoy it, humming against you as he licks you like a starved man before he’s saying with his face still pressed to your center “Taste so good.” The words are muffled and they send vibrations to your core, making you blush as you let out a loud moan. 

You come easily, with laps of his tongue and the knot on your stomach getting tighter and tighter until it snaps completely and you cry out, a mess of curse words and his name and white spots blurring your vision. And he continues his ministrations, tongue pressing inside of your entrance as if he doesn’t want to let any of it to go to waste. 

When he comes up again his lips are red with your arousal making it and his chain shine. You don’t even have the time to feel embarrassed because he kisses you, a strong press of his lips against yours and then his tongue, that was just a second ago inside of you, invades your mouth and slides against yours. You can taste yourself on him and you can feel his hardness pressing against your exposed thigh, your head spinning as he moans in the kiss.

You try to move your hips to press against his in an almost shy movement, but he feels it. A groan escapes his lips as he breaks the kiss, looking completely disheveled. It’s a sight you would probably never forget. “Fuck, I don’t have anything on me.”  He breaths out  and you realize he’s talking about a condom and just the thought of him being inside of you is enough for you to close your eyes as a new wave of pleasure runs through your body. “I want to fuck you so bad. God, so fucking bad. Would you have let me, huh? Would you let me fuck your sweet cunt?”

He noses at your cheeks as you throw your head back. This is not something friends should be saying to each other, far from it. But you still nod, because you would without a thought. And maybe that’s your first mistake. 

✿

Jaehyun fucks you for the first time on the first day of summer. Not that any of you knew that, it’s just something that if you were romantic enough you would think about. 

It’s hot inside his messy room, that you pretended not to notice for his sake. Even hotter with the way he presses kisses against your neck and thrusts into you in a pace that is as calculated as it is maddening. He’s good at it, not that it surprises you. 

He eats you out after he finishes inside the condom and you cry out his name because it’s like he’s trying to make sure that you should never settle for anything less than this. And he’s so willing, with his tongue pressing hard against you and with movements that make you grip at his hair for leverage. 

It’s as clear as day that he’s experienced at this, at least more experienced than you are, because your body count number doesn’t go higher than two and you had just gotten head for the first time a week ago. It makes you feel almost inadequate at the same time it makes a thrill run through your body, eyes glossy and wide as you stare at him practically devour you. 

Your second orgasm hits you with a loud gasp and your whole body shaking in his hold. He holds you like he won’t let you escape, and he doesn’t. 

It becomes a regular thing, the fine line you had drawn between your blooming friendship and something else completely gone as Jaehyun calls you on a thursday night, asking you to come over and then fucks you for the second time with the window open, because summer this year was almost unbearable and sweat clings to both of your skins as he makes you come with a shout of his name. 

It’s an unspoken arrangement, that when one of you needed it you could always call, be it because you’re so stressed from assignments that you need a way to let it all out or because you had a little too much to drink at a party and needed to feel it. 

It goes like this for the whole duration of summer and you think you don’t go three days without seeing Jaehyun. He basically memorizes everything that makes you shake and teaches you everything that he likes, and it’s good. It’s good and it’s easy, no strings attached and you’re fine with it. 

But here’s the catch, because there’s always a catch. You’re not really fine with it. 

You remember one time, when you were around 8, that a teacher made a joke about you and a classmate being more than friends. The mere thought of a romance at that age had made you cry out loud until your mother arrived to pick you up. 

The moment stayed with you, because even at high school, relationships were something you would rather not focus on, not until college at least. But when college came around you didn’t change, still putting your love life aside so you could focus on things that you considered more important.

Now at 21, and still single, it was easy to realize, even if it took some time to finally get out from the denial, that you were scared. Scared of commitment and of being completely vulnerable to someone, even if sometimes when you laid in bed you felt extremely lonely and when you saw your friends getting in loving relationships, it made you just the tiniest bit jealous. It wasn’t a great feeling.

You had never dated before, only had flings that didn’t last much. And you weren’t a romantic, not at all, didn’t think that a relationship would make you happy and definitely weren't willing to give up your dreams for one. But still, it hurtsj ust a little to see your friends settle in while you stayed alone and it hurts just a little that intimacy had become something you desperately craved.

And maybe at the begging of your relationship with Jaehyun you had thought that this would finally be it. And maybe you were also just stupid and too naive to let you relationship get to where it is, but it becomes something more. Somewhere between the first kiss your shared and him fucking you on the bathroom of some party, because you just couldn’t wait, Jung Jaehyun caves a place for himself inside your life and you let him, the feelings blossoming in your chest getting too big to handle every day.

And he is still confusing, because he is too nice, too gentle. He sends you silly pictures of himself during the day, tells you about the skate tricks he finally got right even though you have no idea what he’s talking about. He buys you sweets when you say you had a bad day and sometimes, the times you dread the most, he kisses you like he means something more with it. Sometimes he fucks you with unplaced gentleness that if you closed your eyes you could believe this was something more. 

But it isn’t because at the same time you hear whispers about a girl he was with at a party, you see his phone light up with texts that you don’t read, but your mind can’t help but overthink as something that makes your stomach turn.

But you let it happen, because in your mind maybe having him like this is better than nothing, at least for now. And maybe, even if you were craving for it deep down, you weren't ready to have it. So summer comes and goes and you wish your feelings went away with it. 

✿

Watching people skate becomes an entertaining activity. Something about the movements and the sound of the wheels rolling on concrete made you extremely calm, putting aside the noises of screaming boys and all the curse words they said. 

Even with the direction your relationship took, Jaehyun still seemed to consider you a close friends, something you found extremely bittersweet. He still complained about his classes, still texted you stupid things during the day and he still took you to the skate park to watch him and his friends do tricks for hours. 

The only things that had changed were the sex and the fact you were falling in love with him. No big deal. 

You watch as Jaehyun’s tall friend, that had been introduced to you as Johnny, goes for a trick that involves him jumping and ends up falling, making everyone around him laugh and scream jokes. It was extremely amusing to see a bunch of 20 years old act so carefree and boyish, a small laugh escaping your lips.

Jaehyun helps Johnny up, a wide smile on his face as he says something you can’t exactly hear but it must be funny because it makes Johnny laugh. You’re so entranced with the scene that you don’t notice the red hair man approaching you.

“Whats up, ___?” Yuta says with a grin as he stands tall in front of where you’re sitting on a bench. He was one of the few of Jaehyun friends that actually tried to make you feel welcome when he brought you along to their skate sessions, always making conversation and offering to keep you company. 

“Hey, Yuta.” You smile back, shielding your face from the sun so you can see him better. 

“Just gonna sit here by yourself?” Shrugging you watch as he drops the skate he had been holding down and steps on it as a habit. “I can teach you how to skate if you want.”

He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, making you laugh. “No thank you, I've seen you fall too many times to consider that.” Jaehyun had already offered you the same thing too, but you had absolutely no interest in getting up that four wheeled thing and ending up with a broken bone.

“Please, I'm just falling to get your attention.” His flirty words are not a surprise. He had been like this from the moment you met, saying things that made a blush set on your face. At first it had made you confused but now you knew it was just how he was. “Besides, I never fall as hard as I'm falling for you.”

The last words are said in a sultry voice that makes you laugh even louder, hand coming to your face as you shake your head in disbelief. “Pfft, you’re so corny.” 

The sound of your laughter must have attracted attention, because next thing you know Jaehyun is approaching the both of you with his skate underneath one arm and a weird look on his face. “What’s up?” He asks when he gets close enough, dropping the skateboard down and lifting the snapback he has on to run a finger through his hair. 

Yuta rolls his eyes, feigning annoyance. “Jeez, nothing. Mind your business.” 

You laugh, giving him a pointed look that seems to amuse him to no end. “Don't be mean.”

That makes him smile and he winks at you before saying “Just ‘cause you asked nicely.” And then he’s skating away, leaving you and Jaehyun alone. 

He looks at you and smiles just shy from letting the dimples you liked so much show up. “Was he bothering you?”

You scoff. “Or course not, Yuta is harmless.”

“Yeah, right.” His tone drips in sarcasm as he sits down right next to you, legs spread open and an arm coming to rest behind you. Sometimes his actions screamed masculinity and it made you feel a weird thing inside of you. 

“He was just messing around, he says flirty stuff to everyone.” 

He huffs, looking around everywhere like he’s trying to avoid your face. “It’s just.. they keep talking about you. Pisses me off.” The words are barely audible, like he’s just saying it to the air and not to you. 

You’re confused, eyes dropping as you pick on the green polish on your nails. “What do you mean?” You didn’t think most of his friends even cared about your existence so knowing they talk about you in the way he’s suggesting is a surprise and it makes you antsy. 

He shrugs, giving a small laugh that’s merely another huff. “Doesn’t matter.” You want to ask more but just then he looks at you again, the sunset making him look almost angelic. He’s quick to add another question, as if to not give you the opportunity to say more. “Do you wanna go to IHop after?”

It catches you off guard, but you still nod. “O-Okay.” 

Jaehyun confused you some times and that’s what happens when he slides a hand to your cheek after nodding. The kiss he presses to your lips is chaste, not quick but also not long. It feels like something casual, like a couple would do out of naturality. 

It’s the first time he kisses you in front of his friends or outside of his room, for that matter. It makes the butterflies in your stomach go crazy but you’re not stupid and you would have to be to not realize what this is. He’s trying to show his friends that they shouldn't mess with you. 

It’s a bittersweet kiss, like most things seem to be these days with him. He walks away after breaking the kiss, with the excuse of saying his goodbyes before you can leave and you watch him with a twisting feeling in your stomach. 

The kiss is not mentioned again as you two walk side by side to the restaurant but the weird feeling sticks with you. Most days you try to act like nothing's wrong, because if you think rationally about it, it isn’t. But there’s something about the look on Jaehyun’s face when he talked about his friends, and there’s something about the way you want desperately to hold his hand but can’t, that makes you want to cry just a little.

He orders huge pancake pile that you both share, making you laugh when he stuffs his mouth too full and offering you the last piece because that’s just how he is. It makes you forget about the lingering feelings for a while, the warmth of having a friend like him settling in instead and you can’t help but wonder if it would’ve been better if it just stayed like this. 

When the pancake is over and you’re both too full to even have a conversation he slides his hand to where yours is placed on the table. It’s just a small gesture, him picking your hand up in his and eyeing your fingers before saying “I like when you paint your nails like this.”

He means the colorful setup you got going on, with each finger a different colors because you just liked how it looked and it made you happy. “Maybe I can do yours one day.” You say around a smile. 

And he agrees, of course he does. “That would be nice.” He continues holding your hand but you don’t think much of it.  “That movie we wanted to watched came out, wanna go watch it at my dorm?” 

In your mind you think that’s clue for something else so you just laugh, shaking your head. “I don't know Jae. I’m so full i don't think I can have sex without like throwing up.”

The laugh he lets out makes you heart feel full.  “We are just going to watch a movie.” He says while squeezing your hand softly. 

And you do end up just watching a movie, like old times. It’s fun and you feel happy, but the feelings in your heart come back in full force when you go back to your dorm and you can’t help to wonder what it would be like if you could just stay at his and cuddle like a couple would do. Then you wonder what it would be like if you hadn’t crossed the line.

If you cry yourself to sleep, then that’s beside the point.

✿

Three days later Yuta asks if you and Jaehyun are dating, out of curiosity. The question makes your stomach turn, and when you say no he asks you out on a date. It’s weird, mostly because you think at first that he’s just joking as always, flirting with you to make you laugh. But when it dawns on you that he isn’t, you say you would think about it. 

You say that for two reasons. Just yesterday, you had to sit on a lecture while some girl whispered about how Jaehyun had a big dick and how she knew that was obvious. You had heard about people talk about him before, and it always made you feel weird but now, when every time you’re with him you can’t help but feel your feelings get stronger and stronger, it makes you feel almost sick. That’s reason number one.

Reason number one is that you have realized that you deserved to be on dates and have fun, and just feel like your feelings mattered and were reciprocated. 

So you say you’ll think about it and you do, and the realization you come to is far deeper than you expected. And in retrospect, maybe it was a bit out of impulse. 

You’re laying on Jaehyun’s bed, right after you two fucked, with you on top because he fell down and hurt his ankle. You’re wearing a big t-shirt of him and he has one arm across his eyes, recovering his breath and basking on the glow that is an orgasm.

You don’t know why you say it, but next thing you know you’re sitting up on the bed and letting the words out. “Yuta asked me out.”

His arms slides to his side as he looks at you, eyes swirling with something you can’t quite place yet. “What?” His voice gives it out, jealousy. “And what did you say?”

“I said yes.” You don’t take your eyes off him. It’s a lie because you didn’t know what you were going to say yet. But you felt like you had to say something to him before you made any decisions. Like you owned him something. 

“Why?” His eyebrows are furrowed and you can’t help but scoff.

“Because I wanted to.” You suddenly remember the girl from your class, and the other rumors and it just makes you feel bitter. He just mutters a low okay, like he doesn’t know what else to say right now and it just pisses you off. You wonder if it would be better if he protested against it. 

A lump forms in your throat as he avoids your eyes, and you decide that you need to be brave enough for once. “I think… That maybe we should stop doing this.” It’s tentative, the lump only growing as you watch him close his eyes tightly. There’s something you want him to say but you have a feeling he isn’t.

“Because of Yuta?” Your head drops as you shake it. He’s unbelievable. 

“No, what the fuck? Of course not.” You hiss, looking at him and wishing he would just look at you. Maybe that would make this better. “I- I just don’t think I can do it anymore.” 

It’s the truth. But why do you feel like crying? There’s a pain in your chest that makes you want to run from here and hide forever, a headache starting to form from holding back your tears. He takes a deep breath, finally opening his eyes but still not looking at you. “Okay. If that’s what you want.” He sounds pained but it’s all that he says. 

You get up from the bed slowly, gathering your things in complete silence and you know then that everything from now on will change. You wish he would say something, beg you to not leave, tell you that he doesn’t want to stop it. Wishes that he would just hold you and comfort you like he always does, but he doesn't. “We… We can still be friends.” You mumble out, because that’s the thing you’re scared to lose the most.

He lets out a sad little laugh that breaks your heart. “Of course. We’ll never stop being friends, ____.” 

And you can’t help but laugh quietly too, before you’re muttering out your goodbyes and leaving the room before you turn back on it like you want to.

✿

Jung Jaehyun was not a big romantic, despite being literally born on the day that glorified it. It’s not that he doesn’t care about it, he’s still soft hearted after all, but the big gestures and all the dramatics that seemed mandatory to it just didn’t do it for him. He always thought that love should be something easy, that came naturally and without much thought not something that served to rip your heart of your chest and leave you restless.

That’s why he probably has so much trouble dealing with it, because it usually wasn't easy at all. 

He remembers when his parents got a divorce when he was in high school, something that he saw coming but still managed to mess with him. At the time he refused to cry about it or even acknowledge the whole thing was happening, instead staying out of home until late hours and deciding that some things weren't worth enough to bother about.

He went like that until Johnny said the words he thinks about sometimes even now. “You have to own your feelings.” He had said as they sat side by side on a sidewalk, sweaty from skating but with the adrenaline, that only feeling the wind as you go down a slope can make you feel, pumping on their bloods. “If you don’t you’ll never be able to be yourself. Or know what you want.”

Right now, as he thinks about that moment he gets a bit nostalgic, even feels like crying a little bit. Doesn’t help that he’s close to being high out of his mind. 

Johnny sits by his side, just like he did that day, only this time it’s at the balcony on the apartment they shared. He takes a drag from the blunt they had been passing back and forth for the last hour, watching the sunset and not really talking about anything in particular. 

“Do you think we can find love here?” He asks suddenly, the words escaping his mouth because he just couldn’t contain them anymore.

“What you mean here?” Johnny’s voice is slurred and he seems just as cloudy as Jaehyun is. If they weren’t high they would probably think this was far from a conversation to have in this state.

“In college I mean. I feel like every relationship that happens in this place is doomed to become just a passing thing.” He stumbles over the words, gesturing around with slow motion and it’s probably the deepest thing he has ever said, high or not. “Something to forget about after graduating.”

All his past relationships had gone away like wind, like something that never really even happened. It never felt important, like something that he would take him for the rest of his life. That thought bothered him for a reason and he always preferred to not think about that, but right now he feels like he can’t escape it anymore. 

His friend thinks for a second, the look on his face indicating he’s long gone as he stares outside. “I don't know man. I think you can find love anywhere if you are open to it.” He says simply and all in one breath. 

It’s silent for a moment and he watches the sunset, the sky a mix of orange and pink and it makes him think of you. These days his thoughts are all over the place, but your presence in them is constant. It had been just a week since the last time he saw you but it had definitely been getting to him, and it’s not hard to know why. 

“I think I’m in love.” It’s easy saying it than he thought it would be. “With ___. 

Johnny smiles knowingly. “Why do you think that?”

Because he can’t look at a sunset and not think of you. Because there are songs he can't listen without thinking about how you would probably like them. Because he catches himself thinking about the way you laugh with your cheeks turning pink when he makes a joke that is not even funny. Because of how you always have something smart to say back to his teasings. Because the thought of you being with someone else pisses off and because it feels safe and easy when he’s with you. 

“Because I miss her.” It’s what he decides on. “And I've never missed anyone like this before.” 

He feels like he has just let out a breath he's been holding on for a long time, his mind fuzzy and he can’t help but let a silly laugh.

“I think you should probably tell her that, then.” Johnny says simply, laughing too. 

“Yeah, I think so too.” 

✿

You see him for the first time again two weeks after what happened. It had been enough time for you to get over it, but you don’t. Only further proof that your feelings ran deeper than you wanted them to. 

Even with the promise of staying friends, the need for a time to collect yourself was obvious, so you stay out of touch with him for these days and it’s hell. And you think about Jaehyun more than you want to, his face appearing in your thoughts every time you close on your eyes, no matter how busy you tried to keep yourself. That’s why your heart basically somersaults out off your chest when you see him on campus when you’re making your way to your dorm after a very boring lecture.

It’s cliche and something that would probably fit on a movie, the way his eyes go wide as he sees you all the way from where he’s skating with some friends, not even minding that Yukhei was in front of him and collapsing into him almost in slow motion. You watch as he falls down with your lips in a comedic ‘oh’, Yukhei coming with him as everyone around them falls into laughter. 

It doesn't seem to faze him, though. Because next thing you know he’s getting up, seemingly not hurt, helping his friend and picking his skateboard up. He practically runs to you after that, baggy clothes moving with him. 

“Oh my god, are you okay?” Is what you ask when he finally gets close enough to you that you can hear his heavy breathing. His cheeks are fully red as he pants. 

You look at him with wide eyes as he catches his breath, arms crossed in front of you. The antsy feeling on your gut only gets worst by the second. 

“Don't — Don’t date Yuta.” Is what he says after a while, the words rushed as if he couldn’t keep them in anymore and all you can do is gape, confusion painted all over your face.

“What?” 

He sighs deeply, hand running on his face. “I — Fuck. I know I sound like an asshole but I don't want you to date him, please.”

You narrow yours eyes. He hasn’t talked to you in over a week and this is the first thing he decides to say. “You’re making no sense right now.” 

He seems stressed, mouth opening and closing as if he really doesn’t know what to say. Like this is what it is, an impulsive action. “Listen, I’m not good at this relationship thing.” Is what he starts with, looking at you with eyes pleading and feet shuffling. “But I… I wanna try.” 

He pauses, taking a deep breath as you let the words sink in. Your head spins with his confession, to stunned to say or do anything but look at him with parted lips and softening eyes.

“Can you give me another chance?” He continues, voice dripping with something that sounds a lot like begging, but you know that’s not like him to do. “Just one more time. I promise I’ll do it right this time.” 

When his words finally settle in you can’t help but let out a laugh, shaking your head in disbelief. “Are you stupid?” His head drops immediately, ears turning red as he rubs the back of his neck.

“Come on please, don’t do that.” His bottom lips jut out when he looks at you again, you still smiling because he really is stupid. He really has no idea. “I- I’m in love with you. Fuck, I really am.”

He says the word in a sigh and it surprises you, catches you off guard because even if he just said he wanted to try again, you didn’t think that he was feeling the same way you were. You look at him for a second, eyes wide before your lips turn into a smile. “You really are stupid.” Another laugh and he looks defeated, until you continue. “I don't want to date Yuta. I never did.” 

He tilts his head, confusion gracing his features. “No?” 

“You wanna know why?” It’s a rhetorical question because you quickly add the words you have wanted to say for so long. The feelings that scared you but at the same time made you feel extremely alive. “Because I'm in love with you too.” 

It’s blissful watching his face turn into one of completely adoration as his lips turn into the biggest grin, dimples showing and you heart beats with all the love you feel for this stupid, stubborn and lovely man. “You are?” He asks, hopeful and around a smile.

You barely have the time to nod before he’s letting his skate fall to the ground and he’s coming forward to give you a hug that lifts you from the ground, a yelp coming from your lips but it quickly turns into a giggle as he twirls you around in his arm in pure happiness. 

For a second you forget about every doubt you ever had. You just let yourself bask in the wonderful feeling that is being held by him. 

He wastes no time to press a searing kiss to your lips when he lets you down, holding your cheeks in his hands and you kiss him back with as much passion. In the back you can hear the cheers of his friends, and even if you flip them over, you are still smiling.