GUESS WHAT!?!
I had to walk up the stairs to my fourth floor walkup apartment, while carrying heavy things (first clean laundry and then bags of groceries), TWICE today.
And do you know what DIDN'T happen either time I reached the top of the stairs???
I DIDN'T immediately dissolve into a coughing fit due to the exertion kicking up lingering crud in my lungs. Because there IS no lingering crud in my lungs, they are finally clear! No more plague souvenirs woooooooo!
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I remember back when The Mountain Goats No Children was a meme on here seeing a post that went “I hope you live, i hope we both live,” and it making me SO angry…
And this was before I had ever even listened to the song (or anything by TMG for that matter), but now, knowing that John wrote the song, and specifically the line “I hope you die, I hope we both die” in response to radio overplay of the sugary sweet I Hope You Dance, I feel even more vindicated, because like.
Yes. Ultimately my overall life philosophy is that I hope we all live… I would hope that goes without saying. But No Children isn’t a life philosophy. It’s about how sometimes everything sucks and you feel like shit and trapped and hopeless and angry and I HOPE YOU DIE, I HOPE WE BOTH DIE!!!!!!!!! And who can’t relate to that? Who has NEVER felt like that in their lives??????
I feel a little silly accusing what was ultimately just a joke meme post of Toxic Positivity, but that was the vibe I was getting from it, which is why it made me mad. As though it was sticking up its nose at a song it clearly had no understanding of and going “well I hope we both LIVE 😇😇” and like. Fuck you lol. It’s okay to feel negative emotions. It’s okay to be angry.
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TAKE ON MY KNEEEEEES STUCK WITH YOU IN YOUR DREEEEEAAAAAMS TELL ME MORE I COULD DIIIIEEEEEE TAKE ON LIKE A BEEEEEAAAAST FIRE TO THE LOW LOWER LOW AH YEAH DON'T RUN AWAY RUN AWAY YEAH COME TO THE LOW LOWER LOW DROWN IN YOU ALL THE WAY ALL THE WAY YEAH
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ok so. today i am going to
fly (and travel at all) by myself for the first time since making the emergency return home from br!ghton bc of c0vid 4 years ago (extremely distressing and scary experience). and fly by myself two weeks after a mixed bag of a conference experience / plane ride home that included a massive scary depressive spiral that i had someone there to help me through as much as they could but it wasn’t enough which was absolutely not their fault but was deeply distressing to me at the time. so im about to be in a very similar environment but this time that person won’t be physically with me and it’s going to wreck my brain in multiple directions in part bc i have not yet recovered from the depressive spiral. i am still in it. lawl <3
ride in an uber by myself for the first time. ride in an uber at all for maybe the 5th time. as a very short young woman. which i have been expressedly warned by my parents not to do. lol <3
check into a hotel by myself for the first time
walk in a big city by myself for the first time (technically slightly untrue bc wjen i was last in ch!cago 5 years ago i did power walk from the hotel to the conference venue (like a block away) on the last day bc i was pissed about a situation but that was like… a block and i saw ppl i knew walking in that area. this time i will be in the same city and know no one at least for today
give myself a self care evening at the recommendation of my therapist…. for the first time. (maybe after i take a walk which i will do specifically when it’s still light out to see what the area is like). tonight no one i know will be in ch!cago yet and i have no plans to do anything. im going to play video games and draw and sing and give myself space and time to just enjoy being by myself and see how it goes
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“Can you see in the dark?
Can you see the look on your face?
The flashing white light's been turned off
You don't know who's in your bed
It takes more than fucking someone you don't know
To keep warm
Do you really think that for a house beat
You'll find your love in a hole?”
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Please, please, please
Don’t prove them right
Please, please, please
Don’t bring me to tears
When I just did my make-up so nice.
Heartbreak is one thing,
My ego’s another,
I beg you, don’t embarrass me,
Motherfucker 💕
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3, 14, and 20 for the music ask game! :)
Oooh, fun!! Thank you for the questions!! <3
3. A song you’d choose to introduce someone to your favorite genre
This one is hard, because I don't think I have a favourite genre! I listen to a little bit of everything, honestly.
If I had to pick a genre that I love and that's relatively less popular, I'd go for jazz! And in that case, I think a wonderful introduction to the genre is anything by legends Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong, especially when they sung/played together -- and I'd recommend this version of Summertime as a starting point. It's an incredible piece, full of technical ability, emotion, virtuosity and atmosphere, and it showcases a lot of what I love about jazz as a genre.
14. A song you love to sing along to
So many. So many. I *adore* singing and I love my music, so I'll honestly sing whatever I'm listening to and have a great time with it (as long as I'm alone, and even in company sometimes!). If it's not within my range, I'll find a way.
I'm especially fond of songs that allow me to be a bit dramatic -- stuff like Italian heartbreak anthem Maledetta Primavera or, for a more international example, Holding Out For A Hero (yes, I do all the voices -- and the poses, of course).
20. A song you’d put on a playlist for the person who sent you this ask
Ooh, interesting! To be honest I mostly associate you with classical music, and you seem to be fond of it, so I think I'd fill a playlist for you with my favourite classical pieces :) what would you say to the Duo des fleurs from Delibes' Lakmé?
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THEEEE HILLLS ARE ALIIIIIIIIIVEEEE WITH THE SOUUUUUND OF MUUUUSIC
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my dream is to see karen and hen belt out 'take me or leave me' at the bachelor party
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