#i need smth to get me through this semester for sure!

[tiredg0ds]

the semester starts tomorrow. so this is my official "elliott's going back to school and may be completely and utterly mia from everything for the next however long a semester is" notice !

[rivangel]

my personal ranking of Clancy by tøp :D (w/ my fav lyrics)

13 Lavish

during the livestream, to explain the song i think tyler said smth along the lines of he wrote it for the sake of writing outside their known genre, which is something tøp does every now and then. (they will not stay in their lane, boy)

it’s good. it’s a bop, nicely tongue in cheek, and i can see it as a commentary on celebrity culture, but overall there are songs that do this style better, and i don’t listen to tøp for it.

12 The Craving (Jenna’s version)

don’t get me wrong, i love this song so much but i love them ALL. i have to be in the right mood to listen to smth slow, let alone a slow acoustic love ballad.

the single version of The Craving is different but im going w/ what made it to the album.

11 Paladin Strait

again i have to say that slow songs aren't my preference (shrug) but i also can't overstate how much i love the sound of it, especially the bridge. it's gorgeouss.

tøp is known for these climactic emotional songs to end their albums and this is definitely no exception. right below Leave the City for me.

10 At the Risk of Feeling Dumb

i found out there is such a thing as too relatable when i listened to this song for the first time. it’s not a bad thing exactly? but i kind of need to be in the right mood💀?? if this weren’t the case it would be much higher.

9 Oldies Station

nostalgia and the passage of time is a major thing in contending with lately and this is a good comfort. feels good.

the entire bridge sorry

8 Snap Back

i adore this song but i can’t put it any higher🧍🏻it reminds me of a water level. a genuine vibe with depressing implications: classic tøp.

anyway, a lovely swan song and errr that’s all. (i relate to it too much)

7 Navigating

the chorus. (IMNAVIGATING IMNAVIGATING MY HEAD) is need it playing in my head on repeat like a radio when i’ve died. it’s soo damn good. otherwise not a lot to come back to compared to the others.

6 Vignette

the occasional bird crying out adds to the charm of this song (flesh…coveredinbites) (WHERE DO I GO FROM HEREEeeEEE).

such a vibe. similar to what i say about Midwest Indigo later.

5 Next Semester

when this dropped as a single, i was almost as obsessed with it as i was Overcompensate. also HONESTLY i REALLY NEED TO FIND THE HIDDEN CAMERA TYLER USED TO SPY WHIKE HE WROTE THIS SONG cuz!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭this really hits home for me like no other song has ever (aside from some songs from mcr but yk).

oh and the uke at the end. it sounds good.

4 Midwest Indigo

‘did you. pull up. yet - NOTYET!’

‘what’s ur eta- TWOMINUTES!’

the HOOK on this song is crazy. i’m not sure about the terms exactly but the way tyler drags out certain words at the end of verses and the spoken word parts are addictive and just fun to listen to?

and i love what this song is about. even when i don’t relate to it tyler’s songwriting makes that cease to matter lol

3 Overcompensate

this is the first single that released and listening to it for the first time has become a core memory cuz my obsession interest in the band really receded when SAI released but I WAS DRIVEN INSANE WITH THIS SONG I NEED IT FLOWING THROUGH MY BLOODSTREAM.

2 Backslide

now This is the One (barring #1). when it released as a single, i spent a 3 hours drive just listening to this. it's also been particularly relevant in my life right now so it's not only a banger but an enormous comfort honestly lol

1 Routines in the Night

it was close but

BANGERBVANGERBANGERBANGERBAMGER!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW UGHHHHHHHH IT'S SOOOO GOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD (my most intelligent review). i need the chorus directly injected into my brain and it would fix me i believe.

deeply relatable for someone with insomnia, deeply beautiful. hell even the music video is a captivating piece of art.

(walk the layout :))

[strwberri-milk]

What are some inspirations for your writing? And what resources would you suggest for new writers? (Ex: YouTubers, blogs, books, etc.)

P.S. I’m not exactly sure if you answer questions such like these, but if you do not, then you do not need to answer this or can clarify that because I haven’t seen you post stuff like this or post any rules on not asking questions(?).

And btw, I love your writing and I hope you have a good dayyy! 💖

i love when people ask me about me bc it makes me so happy to exist in peoples mind i just want to be Thought about i love answering questions about myself/my interests!! when i ws fourteen i wrote a whole fuckjing masterlist on how to write but its no longer releveant LMAOOo also i yap so much so this is all under a cut LMAOO

tldr: i totally suggest 1) listen to music you dont mind zoning out to 2) read a variety of books to develop style/voice 3) write things you want!! if youre intrigued/intersted by smth it makes it a lot better!!

also pls for the love of god use paragraph breaks istg i refuse to read anything that is One paragraph long. a smaller ick of mine is the refusal to pargraph break after dialouge bc idk it just makes me :( but its not that bad overall lolol

tbh the only thing i recc for new writers is reading!! im a strong believer that if youre a strong reader you can become a strong writer!! i wanna get back into traditionally published books/classics but the issue w doing an engl [literature] degree is i was reading ballparck 15-20 books/semester and it just got so exhausting that i struggle to get back into traditional publishing but im trying to get into it!!

if youre like jsut getting into reading i think starting at middle grade books is good bc theyve got a good variety and easy readability so theyre like. not as daunting. and also!! variety is so great!! i have REALLY strong opinions about some currently published authors but also ive never been really someone who's super into reading books bc its by a specific author bc i think you can accidentally end up trapped too bc authors have their quirks and its like. you might end up only writing in that fashion bc thats all youre reading so variety is good to diversify and find what you enjoy about writing!!

me personally i really like flowery words and descrptions!! i wanna evoke emotions and trigger associations through sentenes that are *just* long enough and evoke longing!! or horror!! i tend to gravitate towards fantasty/romance/psycohological horror/mystery so those are the books ive been reading in the last ten years but before that i stanned warrior cats and historical fiction so hard. more recently though i read exclusively xreaders sorry guys i need my escapisim but!! i definitely think bridgerton Changed something in me so i think i pulled some of my writing voice from there too!!

also!! music is a big part of my writing process - when i really wanna focus on put on more lowkey music - oohyo is a big reference for the general vibe when im listening to music to write. rn im going to be listening to a lot of hit me hard and soft bc that album (billie eilish) is a sound that i like (kinda haunting, bouncy idk). lana del rey, k r&b or rock/power ballads as well if im feeling it (rn im going back to utsup/maretu/other vocarock prods) - music just helps me hone in when im trying to write thousands of words on top of each other lolol

[kuklamarzanny]

me: *testing a game (puzzle platformer) for a game designer acquaintance* hey I've been stuck in this place forever can you give me a hint?

acquaintance: you need to drop down

me: you sure? whenever I dropped down I fell to the start of the level and had to come back here I tried several times

acquaintance: you have to drop down in THIS specific position, see? now you can continue. a lot of people get stuck here don't worry

me: ok thanks, there are no indications that suddenly you should drop down and it was punished every time until this point. maybe you should add some visual clue or smth

acquaintance's colleague: UGH I hate it when people can't figure out our game when it's SO EASY. it's only fun to watch someone play who gets it right away and doesn't stumble around mindlessly just trying whatever with no plan and failing constatly until they get lucky!

me: lol ok *quits and leaves*

??????? sry mr second semester game designer that you're shit at your future job/assigments, also how are people supposed to just "know" what to do and speed through a game going in blind without trying out mechanics and failing sometimes???

[yikesharringrove]

how do u feel abt doing smth like a modern au where billy is like , all this punk rock and teen angst and leather nd jean jackets kinda of thing and steve is the exact opposite of him with fluffy skirts and soft polos nd just really soft and they two have seen eachother but dont actually talk to one another until they have a school project and they just. fall in love overtime? basically , femme steve + punk rock billy falling in love.

(pt. 2) also!! happy 21st birthday 💓💕💗💖💕

The university had a strict core curriculum, meaning that Steve was ten minutes late for his Philosophy of the Modern Era class.

He couldn’t find the room, was wandering around in this basement with his schedule written on the back of his hand. He was peering at room numbers and muttering to himself 067 067 067.

“You looking for that philosophy class?” Steve turned around at the voice.

The guy was stomping down the hallway in big leather boots. His jeans were ripped and shredded, and he was wearing a black t-shirt with pink font reading Dog Park Dissidents. His denim jacket was covered in pins and patches and sharpie drawings. He had Silence = Death written on one of the pockets, Being nice IS punk rock was scrawled down one arm.

“Yeah, that modern era one?” The guy smiled and nodded, reaching forward to shake Steve’s hand. His eyes were a startling blue, lined with a thin smudge on black. His hair was wild and curly, shaved on each side into this beachy looking mohawk. He had his nose and his eyebrow pierced, along with several in his ears.

“Billy Hargrove.”

“Steve Harrington.” Steve could feel the tips of his ears go red as Billy looked him up and down. He was wearing something cute for the first day of class, a chunky white cardigan over a soft pink peasant dress. He had gotten up early to do his makeup well, and was late to class anyway because this stupid building was a fucking maze.

They set off down the hall together, looking at each door they passed by.

“Oh shit. Pretty Boy, I think I got it.” Steve flushed slightly at being called pretty, still not used to being able to dress like this in public. Billy wrenched open the door, and stomped in, not a care in the world for being twenty minutes late.

The professor raised his eyebrow.

“And what were you two doing out in the hall?”

“I’m sorry, we couldn’t find the room.” Steve’s cheeks were hot as he was standing at the front of the class.

“That’s okay. you have missed class introductions, to please say your names, pronouns and majors.”

“Billy Hargrove, he/him, double majoring in literature and social work.”

“Steve Harrington, he/they. I’m also a double major in education and early childhood development.” The professor made a note on his role sheet.

“Thank you, you may sit down.” Steve went for the back of the room, flopping into the first empty seat he could find, ducking his head as he quietly got his laptop out. Billy had stomped into the seat next to him, had gotten out a notebook and proceeded to doodle in it for the rest of class.

He sat next to Billy every Monday Wednesday and Friday from 9:20-10:35 and and outside of their ten minute search for the classroom, they had yet to say anything to one another.

It certainly didn’t help that Steve was harboring a little crush on the guy. He would watch him in class, the way he would doodle little sunflowers in the margins of his notes, smiling softly at them.

“So, for the rest of the semester you will be working in pairs. I want you to go through the readings we have completely and work together with the philosophers we have discussed to create your own system for the modern era. How do you believe society exists now?” Billy turned to Steve, grinning at him.

“You wanna be my partner?” Steve gave a sheepish smile, his heart racing.

“I, um. Yes. Yeah, I’ll be your partner.” Steve dug his phone out of the tight pocket of his skirt, trading with Billy. He put his number under Steve Harrington - Modern Era Philosphy.

“You wanna get coffee after class, start working through our beliefs?”

“Um, sure. I don’t have class until, like, 3:30 today.” Billy grinned again and fucking winked at Steve. He needed to calm the fuck down.

“So basically, a lot of my beliefs are based on the punk message.” Billy was sipping at his black coffee, had laughed and said should’ve fucking known when Steve ordered a large mocha with extra chocolate syrup, and whipped cream. “I’m a very live and let live person, but I believe everyone should live and let live. If someone is trying to dictate how others should exist, they’re fucking garbage.”

“Okay, I actually really agree with that.”

“That’s because you’re punk rock.” Steve laughed, but Billy’s eyes were serious. “No seriously, there’s nothing more punk rock than being unapologetically yourself.”

“When did you get into punk philosophy?”

“When I was in high school. My dad was a real prick, and I was angry, and a lot of punk is loud and pissed off and it helped, but then I started going to shows, and talking to people, and it’s not what you’d expect. Everyone at a show is like a weird family for a night. If someone comes in and tries to fuck with someone, the family deals. I can’t tell you how many fights I saw that broke out because someone was perving on a girl, and these other guys started protecting her. And that only grew as I started getting into queercore.”

Steve was listening to Billy, eyes wide as he described stories from shows, how he had jumped in on fights to defend the family, how he would walk girls home or to their cars parked a ways down the street, how he knew everyone would do the same for him.

“God, I wish I had a community like that. I didn’t really have anyone growing up. You know, token queer in a small town kinda vibe.” Billy smiled at him sympathetically.

“That why you came out to San Fransisco?”

“Oh yeah. Wanted to come somewhere where, this, didn’t matter.” He gestured to himself. “I just don’t get why it bothers people. I just do it because it makes me happy. I don’t know why it concerns anyone else.” Billy was nodding vigorously.

“Exactly. That’s the whole truth about being queer. People hate you for something that has nothing to do with them. It’s completely wack. Like if I’m with someone in whatever capacity, we’re both consenting adults. It literally doesn’t matter.”

“Do you think we could expand upon this enough for our project? Talk about how we feel the world should just stop caring about what other people do if it has nothing to do with them.” Billy grinned.

“I think we could make something happen.”

They began getting coffee after each class, taking through their project, finding resources to back up the ideas they had discussed. The more time they spent together, the more Steve liked Billy, liked how sweet he was, how positive. They talked about having terrible parents, how Billy’s dad had kicked him out at sixteen for being gay, how he had lived with friends, saving up to get himself through college. They talked about how Steve’s dad had found his stash of makeup and threw it all away, making sure it was ruined and broken. How disappointed his father was that he was studying to become a teacher.

There was one Friday they had met up and stayed all day in the coffee shop stayed until the 5 pm closing.

“You wanna come over? I have a single room. We can keep working.” Billy grinned at Steve like he always did, showing off all his white teeth. So they walked side by side to Steve’s room.

Steve kept his room neat, a habit left over from overbearing parents who would shame him into cleaning his room.

Steve’s room was exactly how Billy imagined.

He had soft white lights, a full length mirror on one wall. His bed was covered in pillows, duvets, and even a few stuffed animals. The wall above the bed was covered in pictures of Steve back home, several with a group of younger kids, and a lot with a blonde girl.

“This your girlfriend?” Steve snorted.

“No, that’s Robin. She and I are just really close friends.”

“What’s with the kids?” Steve blushed.

“I babysat all through high school, and those kids kinda adopted me as their pseudo parent. It was a lot of driving them all over town.”

“That’s cute. That why you wanna teach?”

“Yeah, I’m good with kids.” Steve had plopped himself on the made bed. He watched as Billy took off his heavy boots, placing them neatly by the door before stepping onto Steve’s plush grey rug. His socks were thick wool and had little cartoon dogs on them. Steve was in love.

Billy sat with Steve on the bed. He was taking a closer look at the photos.

“I could see that for you. You’re a caring type.” Steve looked down as his feet, could feel his face getting hot.

“Why did you pick social work?”

“When I was a kid, CPS would be called to our place like, once every few months. My dad was a real good schmoozer, so I would always just be left with him. I wanna be able to help kids get out of bad situations.”

“God, and you call me a caring type. You’re gonna save the world.” Billy laughed.

“The children are the future. I’ll save ‘em, you teach ‘em.” When Steve looked up, Billy was leaning closer into Steve’s space. He had a soft smile on his face. His eyes were bright and beautiful and so fucking blue. “Can I kiss you?”

“Can you, what?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Why?” Billy still hadn’t leaned back.

“‘Cause I have a big dumb crush on you, and I think you have one on me.” Steve’s face was pink.

“I, uh, yeah. Go, go for it.” Billy laughed, taking Steve’s face in both hands. He leaned in, just gently pressing their lips together.

“So, was I right?”

“Yes. Very much so.” Billy laughed again, loud and sweet, pressing another kiss to Steve’s lips.

“You wanna go on a date? A real one? Not just us getting coffee and pretending we both weren’t totally into each other.” Steve snorted again.

“Yeah, I would really like that.”

[writethehousedown]

Lesson In Love (Gigi x Jackie) - Mina

A/N: So excited to participate in one of these challenges again, you treated me so well last time so I’m so excited to release this! Ty so so much to @dollalpaca for being an angel and betaing

Summary: Gigi may or may not be failing her music studies class. She also may or may not have caught feelings for the pretty Persian woman that offered to tutor her. Maybe. She’ll never tell.

“Janet,” Gigi groaned, narrowly avoiding falling off the couch as she rolled over and wrapped her blanket tighter around herself. It was leopard-printed, a gift from Jan to themselves from when they moved into the apartment. “Do you think ‘Intro to Floral Arrangement’ sounds like an easy class? Or do you know anyone who’s taken it?”

“Isn’t it an evening class? I feel like we went over that one like… twenty minutes ago.” The blonde hummed from the floor, not bothering to look up. She was probably right, too. She had her own laptop in front of her, in the process of color-coding her online calendar. Blue for lectures, green for labs and purple for choir practices. Gigi had seen her do this enough times - every semester since they met on move-in day their first year - to be able to recognize the blocks in her schedule at a glance. Sometimes it motivated her knowing that Jan could be so on top of things while also being the most chaotic person Gigi knew, other times it made her want to die and be reborn into someone who could organise her sock draw by diameter.

“Yeah, you’re right.” She frowned, letting out a deep sigh and closing the tab. Goodbye, department of nature studies. So long, her potential florist career.

The thing was, Gigi knew she couldn’t really afford to be particularly picky with only five days before the registration period ended, but still. At least, she thought, she’d long been enrolled in all her textile-related classes for the semester. She was looking forward to most of them too, especially the design ones. Really, it was just that one additional stupid arts gen ed course she needed to get out of the way, and then she’d be free for good.

“How about ‘Art of Listening’?” Gigi asked a few minutes later, reading over the course information. She heard the sound of Jan typing on her keyboard come to a halt. “That kinda sounds like a class for people that want to become therapists or something. Or marriage counsellors?”

“Maybe people that are gonna need marriage counselling, sure,” Jan replied, her typing picking up again.

Gigi laughed, running a hand through her hair and looking back at her screen. “It doesn’t seem too bad, y’know. Just two papers and a final.” She hummed, scrolling through last year’s syllabus. “And it’s actually about music, I could totally do that.”

“Wait, who’s the prof for it?”

“Uh… something-Nguyen I think?“ Gigi paused as she scrolled back up. “Yeah, Andrew Nguyen, why?”

“Oh, that’s the one!” Jan nodded happily. “Rock took it last semester, I think. I remember her talking about it when we first met, she was always complaining about the prof who—”

“Great, you should have just lead with that.” Gigi rolled her eyes as she closed the tab. Rock was one of the more easy going people she’d ever met when it came to that stuff, so she couldn’t imagine what a prof that annoyed her would be like. Probably awful, or at least had a bad taste in anime. A soft but slightly damp piece of fabric hit her in the nose before falling down in front of her, disheartened. She scrunched up her nose in distaste when she realised what Jan just threw at her.

“Why are you throwing your dirty socks at me?” Gigi screeched, picking it up and throwing it back in the blonde’s general direction. “And why is it wet?”

“If you’d just let me finish!” She rolled her eyes pointedly, leaning to grab the sock again. It was a little too far for her to reach, and Gigi watched her stubbornly wiggle to the side until she could close her fingers around it. She smiled victoriously, huffing a little as she leaned back against the couch and made herself stand up straight. “As I was saying,” she started again, enunciating carefully.

“Before I rudely interrupted you.” Gigi grinned down, picking at her nails.

“Yes, before you did indeed do that,” Jan huffed, “Rock took it last semester. And she was always annoyed because the prof didn’t always let them use their laptops in class, but she also said that it was really easy. Most of the time they just had to listen to some music and write about how it made them feel, that sort of stuff.”

“That sounds pretty easy.”

“Right?” Jan nodded excitedly, “And I think she mentioned one of her friends is taking it this semester too. A senior, so she’s probably in the same boat as you.”

Gigi didn’t think that’d make much of a difference, but she didn’t bother telling Jan that. It wasn’t like the class had group projects anyway, so she could hopefully get by with just showing to most lectures and turning in the assignments.

“I really should have done this over the summer, you were right about that,” she exhaled, shutting her laptop and falling back into the couch. She could have gotten those mandatory art electives outside of her major done as a freshmen, or even last year, like most other students in her program did.

“I’m sure it won’t be that bad,“ Jan chuckled, moving closer until she could rest her head comfortably on Gigi’s shoulder, blonde hair falling all over her face. “You’ll do great, because you always do; you’re talented, but you also work hard. So you’re gonna ace all your actual photography classes, pass this one, and be done with all your dumb degree requirements. And then next year you can take all the textiles classes you want, I’ll take all the music production classes I want, we’ll go to each other’s senior showcases, and barely even remember all the time we wasted on the ugly classes we didn’t care about.”

When Jan put it that way, it sounded pretty easy. *** After three weeks of classes, Gigi felt like she could safely conclude that the class was… Not that bad. If she had to give the class a grade it’d be a solid C-, bordering on a straight-up C. It was mostly filled with freshmen from the arts faculty trying to get an easy A, a solid half of whom had already stopped showing up to lectures. And yes, it was weird being back in a two hundred-person room when most of her other classes were forty at most. She had to turn in weekly written assignments, which was also not fun, but writing five hundred words once a week wasn’t a time commitment she couldn’t handle. The problem, though, was that as far as she could tell from those three first weeks, that supposedly-easy class would also n’ot rate the level of effort Gigi had put in as anything more than a C either. Which was definitely not what she wanted out of it. Far from it.

The class did have one major saving grace, a light in the dark and a minor help in stopping Gigi from quitting the class on day one, in the form of a fellow student.

Gigi didn’t know her name, or her major, or anything tangible about her, which was a little unfortunate. She did, however, know that the girl had legs. Long and strong, with toned thighs that suggested at least some form of semi-regular exercise, and looked equally good in the kind of wide-legged, loose cotton pants Gigi herself favoured as they did in denim cutoffs. She had really nice hands too, which the brunette found out about when they accidentally reached for the same assignment sheet. They looked soft, strong and capable and careful. They’d be nice to hold, or to have holding her down tightly, or tangled in her hair while she sucked bruises into her equally-beautiful thighs.

So yeah, you could say Gigi was kind of enjoying the course, sure.

The girl usually sat at the front of the room, in the very first row from where you kind of had to strain your neck upwards to see what was on the board. Gigi knew, because that was also where she sat during the first two weeks, until she realised this wasn’t going to be the kind of lecture where she could talk all the way through the lesson without the professor caring, not if she wanted to do more than just pass, anyway. The girl usually brought her laptop to class too - covered in political stickers and pictures of cartoons Gigi didn’t know. One time the brunette walked past her, only to see a video of a crab walking up a pile of sand playing in the corner of her screen.

Gigi could remember that she made a point about the role of music in religious movements when prompted, and how that connected to society’s idea of liveliness within places of worship. Gigi didn’t really remember the details, mostly because some of it had just flown way over her head, but their professor had been very impressed. When he had said so, instead of the self-satisfied smile that the brunette had been expecting, the girl had looked down at her notes, one arm twitching like she was resisting the urge to scratch at the back of her neck in embarrassment.

Gigi thought she’d even blushed a little, and really, no one should have had the right to be both this attractive and adorable at the same time. She wasn’t quite sure how she felt about the crab video, which was definitely weird, even by art faculty standards. But for her, she thought she might be willing to overlook it.

geege ok this girl at the front of listening class? so hot she’s like 90 percent leg and 40 percent sexy aunt energy

janjanjan sounds Hot

geege i’d let her walk all over me and say ty she’d just be like :] and tell me about the periodic table or smth

janjanjan okay maybe let’s stop there like keep the rest for when you’re alone at home

geege or in the shower

janjanjan thanks not like i use that shower too The thing was, Gigi wasn’t new to having crushes. At all. So perhaps it shouldn’t have come as a surprise to herself that she ended up developing crushes on more than a few of the people she met. Most of them were great, a lot of them were cute, and a few left her heart beating that much faster as she found herself wishing for their conversations to never end.

What was new (or disconcerting, if she were to listen to the Jan voice in her head), was Gigi feeling that way about someone she’d never talked to. Gigi still didn’t know anything about her, other than what she looked like and the sound of her voice - but god did she want to know.

And it felt like it’d been years, so many years, since Gigi had felt too shy to just go up to someone she wanted to know better and introduce herself. She’d felt anxious before, maybe a little self-conscious, but not the kind of shyness that turned into complete inaction. She found herself looking forward to the class, though not the actual work. *** She, Gigi thought, was currently winning at life.

She was done with classes for the week, had no plans that required her to get out of her sweatpants for the next twenty four hours, and was currently sitting back on the couch surrounded by food and two of her favourite people.

So yeah, life was pretty fucking great right now.

She leaned back against one arm of the sofa, a forgotten ball of yarn and half knitted almost-scarf in one hand and the other casually playing with Jan’s hair. The blonde was laying down on the couch, the only one out of the three of them that could kind of do so without most of her legs hanging off one end. Her head was resting on Gigi’s lap while her feet were in Rock’s.

Friday evening was their unofficially -designated group hang out time, a tradition that developed the last few months without any of them being aware of it, but now it was something that she wouldn’t miss for the world. It usually just meant Thai food, bitching about their classes, and whatever booze one of the other two decided to pick up. When Rock made grabby hands at her, Gigi grabbed an unopened can of sparkling water she brought for today and passed it on.

“Thank you,” Rock chuckled as she cracked it open, leaning forward to catch some of the foam that came out before it had a chance to further stain the couch. “Y’know,” she started, as she watched Gigi reach over for the mostly-empty bag of popcorn on the table. “I could just ask Jackie to help you out with the class.”

The brunette’s fingers closed on thin air, the bag of popcorn she was aiming for remaining just out of reach. “Who’s Jackie?” she asked absently, shuffling forward gently and trying not to dislodge Jan’s head from her lap.

Jan flicked her on the thigh regardless. “Rock’s friend, the one I told you about when you signed up! And, y’know, the one that’s also taking the class right now.”

“Oh,” Gigi realised. She totally remembered that, right. Her fingers grazed the bag of popcorn again, but in her haste she just ended up pushing it a few inches further away, balancing precariously on one edge of the table. “That Jackie.”

“I think she tutored, like, half her contemporary fiction class last year. So you know she’s gotta be good at actually teaching things, and not just smart,” Jan continued, as though Gigi’s attention was mostly captured by the pursuit of academics. One more inch, she leaned in a little further, balancing her weight on one arm. She just needed to get one inch closer and the bag would be hers. She could already taste the powdery, buttery, amazingness on her tongue.

“And Rockie’s always talking about how her old professor still basically cries about not being able to convince her to stay in the department. I’m pretty sure she’d totally still take him on as a grad student if Jackie just asked, nevermind that she transferred out more than two years ago.”

“So what do you think?” The blonde finished, a little more loudly, like she realised Gigi had tuned her out a bit. And Gigi had, yes, but she could finally feel her fingers closing in on the bag, triumphantly reaching in and stuffing a handful of popcorn - fat free - into her mouth. “Do you want Rock to ask Jackie when she has some time to meet up with you? Or maybe just give her your number, if that’s easier?”

“What? No, don’t do that. I’m not doing that bad.” Gigi laughed slightly, rolling her eyes. “No, I’m all good.”

“It’s too late anyway,” Rock laughed, all faux-casual. “I already messaged her.” She shoved her phone in front of Gigi’s face, and yeah, right there, that was a message saying just that, complete with her own number at the end.

“Why would you do that?” She complained loudly, tapping at the screen furiously to try and make it delete. It wasn’t that she was against the idea of getting help with the class, but mostly she was reluctant to have it taking up more of her time than it already did. Especially when she didn’t even know the girl.

“You need help!” Rock said with a yelp, avoiding the kick Gigi aimed at her. “She can help! It’s a perfect solution, why are you trying to hit me!” The last one landed just under her armpit, drawing out a higher-pitched squeal. “Besides, Jan agreed with me that it’s a good idea,” she added, turning expectantly towards her. “Tell her how you were the first one to even suggest it.”

Next to them, Jan had indeed been suspiciously quiet. “Why aren’t you saying anything?” Gigi asked, poking the older woman in the chest.

“Don’t you want to see what your soon-to-be tutor looks like, Geege?” Jan giggled, ignoring her question.

“Oh, you’re right, let me show you her insta,” Rock butted in, her thumbs moving on her phone screen for a moment before handing it to Gigi with an evil smile.

Jacqueline Coxx, the profile read, next to a very familiar, grinning face. The same very familiar, grinning face that Gigi had spent many a lesson fawning over. This had to be a mistake, there was no way. “You should really be better at Instagram-stalking people,” Jan laughed as Gigi felt her mind going blank. “I think it’s the only skill that’s going to save our generation from lifelong unemployment. Or underemployment, for that matter.”

The brunette didn’t give it a second thought before she pushed her off the couch and onto the floor, screams of unacceptable betrayal and terrified excitement echoing loud in the room.

*** geege hiiiii is this jackie cox? this is gigi, roxanne’s friend from the listening class she said she’d told you i would message you geege but in case she didn’t i wanted to ask you about some tutoring if you could tutor me i mean geege but if you can’t that’s all good !! don’t feel like you have to say yes just bc of rocks stupid puppy eyes oh and sorry about the triple-text ***

“I more than triple-texted her, but three separate times,” Gigi groaned, burying her face in between the couch cushions.

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” Jan comforted, running a hand through her hair. Gigi would maybe feel a little bad about how much complaining she’d been doing over this, but everytime she thought of stopping, she reminded herself that Jan was at least forty-five percent to blame for this in the first place.

“It’s been more than two days. When’s the last time you went forty-eight hours without checking your phone? And be honest.”

Jan’s silence was enough of an answer. *** Jackie Hey Gigi! Rock did tell me about you, it’s all good Do you want to meet up after class on monday to figure out the details? Oh and sorry for such a late reply My phone was broken after i dropped it in a lake while i was hiking *** In an ideal world, Gigi would have planned things so she could get to class nice and early on the day she was supposed to properly meet Jackie. She’d have maybe put a little more thought than usual into her outfit, and made sure her hair looked good. Worn that red headband she knew did great things for her forehead and her eyebrows, maybe. Not that Gigi ever looked like a slob, but she definitely had clothes she liked more than others, and that she thought served her better for seduction purposes. Or even for just ‘making a decent first impression’, which she’d really settle for right now, as she ran up the final flight of stairs. Nothing said ‘I’m serious about needing help with this class’ like showing up late, especially for a course where attendance was actually recorded.

She spotted the door to the classroom still cracked open at the end of the hallway and slowed down a little, trying to catch her breath. She ran a hand through her hair, hoping that’d tame the mess a little and her cheeks wouldn’t be too red from the unexpected burst of athleticism. At the front of the room, their professor has already started talking, and Gigi quietly slipped into the first free seat she spotted, grateful to have avoided drawing everyone’s attention to herself.

It was only minutes before the class ended that Gigi thought to look around for Jackie, peering across the middle rows of students before she accepted that she wouldn’t dare sit anywhere but the very front row. She tried to lean forward to glance at the first row once or twice, eventually accepting that there was no way she could be subtle and standing the slightest bit up from her chair. The first row was mostly empty, as it usually tended to be. Gigi recognized a girl from the Image Composition class she took last semester, and thought about saying hi to her after class when she remembered she had a goal here. As she let her gaze move through the other students in the front, it eventually landed on Jackie, although Gigi had to do a double-take to make sure it was definitely her.

The thing was, she’d gotten to see - unknowingly, at the time - Jackie often enough since the semester started to get a sense of her style. And from Gigi’s weeks of casual observation, she tended to favour loose, comfortable clothes, and mostly neutral colours. She liked floral patterns too, especially on shirts, which the brunette could appreciate.

However, the first thing she noticed today was Jackie’s hair. And really, Gigi thought that if it wasn’t for the bright smile and the longest legs known to humankind, she wouldn’t have even recognized her.

The messy dark brown hair that Gigi had gotten used to, and maybe dreamt about running her hands through once or twice, was now four inches shorter and numbingly straight, effortlessly falling over her forehead and almost into her eyes when she looked down. Something about the flawlessness of her hair combined with the white hoodie she was wearing seemed to make her face glow, skin tanned and radiant with pearly teeth glinting through a bemused grin as she laughed at something her friend was saying.

Damn.

She was brought out of her daydreaming by the sound of students around her packing up their things, and Gigi realised that she most likely missed the professor dismissing their class. As she struggled with the zipper of her bag, the same one she’d been meaning to get fixed for the last three months but still hadn’t, she felt a hand hesitantly tap on her shoulder, warm against the thin material of her shirt.

“Hey, Georgia right?” A voice asked right behind her, and when Gigi turned around Jackie looked just as good as she did the first time she saw her at the beginning of the semester.

“Gigi. I’m— my name— Yep, hi, that’s me. What’s shaking?” The brunette chuckled awkwardly, “Thank you so much for agreeing to help me out, I really appreciate it! Or at least agreeing to consider it I mean, I know we really just said we’d talk about the details today, so you technically haven’t agreed to anything yet. And you don’t have to, obviously.”

Jackie didn’t seem thrown off by the sudden explosion of words and gratefulness, which Gigi took to be a good sign. If anything, her smile only grew less hesitant, the tiniest dimple appearing on her left cheek.

“We could, like, go to that library around the block? It’s a nice place to study, so.” Gigi nodded, following Jackie and making awkward small talk until they made it inside. She learned in those quick minutes that Jackie liked crabs, and geography, and obscure movie references no one else understood.

“It’s been a while since I was here to be honest.” Jackie grinned, swiping at her phone casually. “I missed it.”

"Right, Rock mentioned you’d transferred out of the faculty.”

The brunette hummed in agreement, looking a little surprised at Gigi’s knowing about this. “Yeah, I swapped my major and minor back halfway through my second year. Geo major with a minor in stage production now.” She made little jazz hand motions as she said it, and the brunette really wished she didn’t find it half as endearing as she did.

“Okay, so, tell me more about what you’ve been struggling with so far,” Jackie asked with a tilt of her head, and they got down to business. *** Maybe it was a little self-sabotaging (or self-serving, she could never quite decide), but part of what Gigi quickly found out she liked best about their bi-weekly tutoring sessions, was how much time she got to just stare at Jackie. She’d finish writing up the draft of her weekly listening assignment and pass it on for the older woman to read over, and get a solid five-to-ten minutes of ogling out of it.

Not that she was ogling her per se, that sounded bad. She was just… appreciating. Appreciating Jackie’s arms, and her neck, and her cheekbones, and her brain as she read through Gigi’s outline. Every now and then, Gigi would catch her frowning slightly, bringing her pen to the paper and tapping over the words as she read a section a few times over before making a quick note and moving on. It was kind of embarrassing how devastatingly cute Gigi found the whole thing, honestly. Like how the way she was resting her head on one hand, her fingers accidentally creating a gap that just perfectly framed the dimple on her left cheek.

“Hey, Geege,” Jackie suddenly smiled as she turned towards her. Fuck. Gigi really hoped her face wasn’t making what she was just doing incredibly obvious. “What did you have in mind for this part here?” She asked, shuffling her chair to bridge the space between the two of them.

“Which part?” Gigi shakily replied, leaning in a little. The paper she wrote her outline on was on the table, technically close enough for both of them to read, but just barely. Gigi told herself that was her excuse for moving in a few inches more, until their hands were almost meeting on the sheet of paper. Almost.

Jackie was making it hard for Gigi to focus, leaving her stumbling through the start of an explanation of the admittedly somewhat unclear point she’d made in her outline about the sudden change in rhythm. As she got into the meat of her point, she could feel herself getting more confidence, gesturing with her hands as the words started coming out more easily, and Jackie nodded in wordless understanding. It only took a few sessions to realize that if there was one thing Jackie was good at, it’s listening. It never felt like she was trying to put answers into Gigi’s mouth - letting her explain her perception of the music instead, and asking questions when needed. She made Gigi feel like even if writing about how she experienced music as an art form would never come all that naturally to her, not in the way sewing or even most visual arts did, it was something that was still within her reach. Something she could understand and relate to.

“So, are you saying it felt expected to you?” Jackie asked eventually, after Gigi paused. “Like it was building up to this in the previous parts? Or that it caught your attention specifically because it was sudden? Or out-of-place, maybe.”

The brunette took a moment to think, replaying the lead-up to that section in her head.

They weren’t even touching, but she could feel the heat radiating off the older woman’s skin. She could feel the warmth, could see it in Jackie’s gaze as she looked softly back at her, she could smell it even. And Gigi knows that didn’t actually make sense, that all she was probably smelling was laundry detergent and sweat and maybe coffee. Gigi didn’t even like the smell of coffee. But right now, sitting side-by-side in the library and alternating between emphatically talking and listening to each other, Gigi felt like all of those things.

It was only when they both moved on from that particular point, a few messy notes from Jackie hastily written to Gigi’s own words, that she realized just how close they’d gotten. She was well into Jackie’s personal space, their shoulders no longer content just brushing against each other occasionally but rather aligned against one another. No wonder she could smell the coffee.

She started to move back slowly, not wanting to draw attention to how close she’d gotten, but a sharp sting on her ear stopped her mid-motion. She let out a small cry of pain, Jackie immediately turning to face her. The older girl felt impossibly closer than a moment ago.

“I think my earring got caught in your shirt,” Gigi said quietly, a pained and nervous giggle leaping from the back of her throat. She remembered putting them on this morning, long and dangly strips of silver shaped like eyes, and thinking about how they might get stuck in her hair. If the lack of distance between the two of them went unnoticed earlier, it was definitely no longer the case. Gigi felt incredibly conscious of every exhale of her breath, of Jackie’s face only inches away from hers. The guy in the seat in front of them threw them a dirty look, like he was annoyed at how wrong Gigi’s flirting attempts had turned out. She couldn’t really blame him because, what the fuck, they had turned out pretty bad, huh.

“Hold on,” Jackie breathed, “let me untangle it for you.” Gigi knew she was speaking quietly because they were in a library, and so close to each other anything above a whisper was unnecessary, but she was struck hard by the intimacy of it nonetheless. She couldn’t decipher whether choosing to wear those earrings today was the best or worst decision she’d ever made.

Jackie reached for the end that got caught, carefully lifting it away from the threads of her sweater. It was the kind of tangle no one could probably ever manage to achieve if they tried, and yet happened without either of them realizing it. When she moved to grasp at the fabric a little more firmly, her fingers brushed against Gigi’s neck, unexpected. And maybe it’s stupid to feel so thoroughly destabilized by the mere touch of a fleeting hand, but Gigi found herself forgetting to breathe for a few seconds.

“There,” Jackie chuckled as the earring finally came free, looking in Gigi’s direction without directly meeting her gaze. “I think you’re all good now.”

Gigi thanked her politely, but she’d be the first to admit she found it hard to focus during the rest of their session, every brush of air or clothing against her neck making her shiver at the memory of Jackie’s fingers. ***

“Wait, Jackie Coxx?” Crystal asked the next time Gigi met up with her to catch up over some drinks in their favorite dive bar. Crystal had technically been Jan’s friend first, but she and Gigi had gotten a lot closer over the years, bonding over a love of what their friends would lovingly call ‘loud’ and ‘confident’ clothing choices. “‘Trips on her own feet’ Jackie Coxx?” Crystal continued, the grin on her face widening as Gigi felt her cheeks heating up. “Follows at least three Twitter accounts dedicated to Star Trek? Rockie’s junior year baby crush? The same—”

“Rock is still a junior, Crys,” Gigi interrupted, laughing, because— what. What. “And wait, she has a crush on Jackie? My Jackie?”

“So not the point,” Crystal answered, still smiling like this was the best news she’d heard all week. “My Jackie huh? God, you’re such a simp—”

“No.” Gigi groaned, dragging out the ‘o’. “Back to Rock. My best friend, Janet fucking Sport, is head over heels, stupidly in love with Rock. And I don’t care how adorable she is, if what you’re telling me is true, she’s just been… been using her! And that really this whole time she’s just been waiting and pining for Jackie! As if Jan didn’t—”

It was Crystal’s turn to interrupt this time, the smile having faded away from her face to leave way for a confused expression. “Gigi, Gigi, stop for a second,” she repeated, a little more forceful than the brunette was used to hearing her speak. “Come on, think of all the time you’ve spent with Rock, with both of them. Have you ever gotten the impression that she was anything that a hundred and ten percent in?”

The brunette closed her eyes for a moment. She thought of Jan ditching her and Nicky to go hang out with Rock every Friday. Of Jan dragging her to go shopping on the weekend before Valentine’s day, an itemized and color-coded list of stores and potential gifts saved on her phone. Crystal definitely has a point, Gigi let herself recognize, deflating as the potential anger left her body as quickly as it had arrived.

“Rock did a tour of the university, back when she was still in high school and she wasn’t completely sure what program to apply for. Jackie was the one doing it apparently.” The red head paused to take a sip of her drink, grimacing a little at the taste. Why she kept ordering those novelty IPAs everywhere they went despite knowing full well she didn’t like how hoppy they were, Gigi had no idea. “I think she just made Rock feel comfortable, you know? Like, it was fine that she didn’t have everything figured out already, and made sure she knew she wasn’t making a decision at seventeen that she could never walk back. So Jackie gave her her number in case she had any questions, and then they actually started hanging out together once Rock started this year.”

“Oh,” Gigi realised, “that does really sound like her, yeah.” She could imagine it in her head, Rock a little younger and more unsure, not all that dissimilar from how she behaved when Jan first introduced the two of them to each other.

It was strange, remembering that a few months ago she would avoid directly meeting her gaze or spending any one-on-one time with her, when she could also recall the ‘u up’ and ‘netflix? :)’ texts she received from the shorter woman last night. It also really sounded like Jackie, although she didn’t tell Crystal so. It was just as easy to imagine her taking the time to reassure a worried high-school student without making her feel like she was being talked down to.

Crystal was still looking at her expectantly, and Gigi couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed at how strongly she reacted. “So, not an actual crush then?”

“Nope, she just thinks Jackie is really cool. God knows why, because based on what I’ve heard, she’s kind of a giant dork.”

“Hot giant dork.” Gigi rolled her eyes. “Maybe I should have asked you that first.”

“Uh-huh,” Crystal replied, giving Gigi’s shoulder a squeeze. “You should ask her for the full story, actually. I’m surprised you haven’t heard it before, but she tells it much better than I do. And maybe you want to spend some time thinking about why you reacted that quickly, because we both know Jan is a pretty flimsy excuse.”

The brunette sighed loudly. “It’s just a crush, it’s nothing.” It didn’t sound convincing even to herself. Back when Jackie was just the hot girl in her class, that would have probably been true, but it felt like a long time ago now.

Crystal rolled her eyes with a cheeky smile. “That was a lot more believable five minutes ago, but sure.”

Gigi made sure to hit her in the leg for that, laughing easily and sputtering mindlessly about how she had it all wrong.

“Wait, what did Rock used to want to study, back when she was in high school?”

There was a long pause, before Crystal finally cackled., “Video game design.” *** geege do you think it’s weird

rockstar YES

geege … to ask someone if you can platonically caress their cheeks kiss them on the forehead at least wait till i finish to be mean

rockstar u know what this is both not as weird AND weirder than i expected ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

geege what do I do roxanne she’s not gonna tutor me forever. the final is less than a month away how do i tell her i wanna date her without seeming like i wanna date her

rockstar go up to her and be like ‘if we played pokemon together, we’d be a pokematch’ ;)))

geege what

rockstar will you be the nidoking to my nidoqueen

geege tf those sound like the names of drugs

rockstar yk it was one thing when you were just thirsting after the hot girl in ur class but now it’s actual feelings how embarrassing

geege u have given me a solid amount of advice. none.

rockstar k fair how about i pick up noodles on my way back? and we can eat that for dinner while you tell me all about ur gay crush without my consent

geege i like the chicken stir fry ones

*** “Do you want to listen to it again, maybe?” Jackie asked, reaching for her headphones. “Then you can tell me the exact part you’re thinking of.”

It was another Wednesday afternoon, but this time they’d ditched the library in favor of a small coffee shop that was closer to where Jackie lived. It was artsy in a way that Gigi was used to, a little hipster, but not actually fancy enough to properly lay claim on the word. The tables were a little worn in and wobbly, the lattes a little too cheap, and the art prints on the wall either too well-known or not enough.

“Sure, just give me a second.” Gigi took the earbud the Persian woman offered her, making an aborted motion towards the computer, before following through as Jackie nodded at her with a soft smile. The older woman’s phone vibrated on the table between them, and she took a quick glance at the screen before putting it back down with a little more force than necessary.

It took Gigi a few tries to find the part she had in mind when mentioning texture, replaying the same part a few times over until she was fairly certain she found what she was looking for. “That part here, until the tempo slows down again—”

The brunette was cut off by the sound of Jackie’s phone vibrating on the table again, lighting up with a missed call notification and some texts.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” the Persian woman cursed sheepishly. “This is so rude. I’m sorry, Geege, I should have just turned it off earlier.” She sounded a little annoyed, but mostly flustered, taking a quick look at the screen before flipping it back over facing down.

She flashed the younger woman an apologetic smile, her cheeks coloring a little as she pointedly pushed the phone away from her.

“Are you sure everything is okay? We can take a break if you need to deal with some stuff? Or even just cancel for today, I think I have basically everything I need to finish writing this up, so.”

“No, no, âsemun be zamin nemiyâd,” Jackie protested, mind clearly elsewhere. “It’s nothing, really. Or, well, it is something I guess, but it’s kind of stupid and I shouldn’t let it distract me, you know?”

Gigi hummed noncommittally, not wanting to force her to talk about whatever this was if she didn’t want to, but finding herself unwilling to acknowledge it as something stupid either. She offered Jackie what she hoped was a quick and comforting smile instead.

“I just…” She sighed, rubbing at her eyes with the heel of her palm. “I’ve been waiting to hear back from this prof about a recommendation letter for grad school? And she’d said yes before, but some more students asked her, and she has this thing about not writing more than five letters per year, I don’t know. So she said she’d get back to me today or tomorrow to confirm, and I’ve just been really stressed.”

“Oh no, I’m sorry. That sounds really stressful.” Gigi brought a hand to Jackie’s shoulders, squeezing the back of her neck lightly. She tried to avoid doing too much extensive thinking about what she might do after college, but she doubted it was a train of thought that’d ever made anyone feel good.

“It’s okay, I should be used to it.” Jackie shrugged with resignation. “It’s just that every time I remember I’m waiting to hear back from her it makes me think of next year, and what’ll happen if I don’t get in? Or if I do, because it’s like I really know that grad school is what I want to do, you know?” She ran a frustrated hand through her hair, and Gigi really wished they were close enough friends for her to offer Jackie a hug or something.

“Just call your prof back now. You should have said something earlier, and we could have rescheduled.”

“Oh,” Jackie breathed out, sounding inexplicably surprised as she turned towards her. “No, no, no, no, that’s not necessary. That wasn’t her. I’m sorry I’m a bit of a mess today, let’s just get back to this thing, yeah?”

Gigi nodded, reaching for the headphones and passing one on to her. In a lot of ways, this had grown to be her favorite part of their sessions. Not that she didn’t enjoy listening to Jackie talk about music, which she did; mostly because she was practically tone deaf and found it magical that Jackie was so good at it, or trading ideas back and forth on the pieces they listened to, both of which were rewarding in their own ways. But there was something about sitting next to each other, silent save for the shared music, that just got to her.

They were standing outside the coffeeshop, Jackie struggling to undo the lock on her bike, when Gigi thought back to their earlier conversation. “I know it’s not the same because I’m not graduating yet, but you know I’m here if you ever need to talk to someone, right? Like, no pressure or anything, but I just— just wanted to put it out there, I guess.”

Jackie stopped mid-motion and looked up at her, half of her U-lock in hand. “Thanks, Gigi.” She grinned, all bright and pearly and warm. “I think sometimes I just get too in my own head, you know? Especially about things I can’t do anything about. And yes, I know how stupid it is to stress out over these things so much, I really do.”

“I don’t think that’s stupid, though,” Gigi mentioned, as they started walking towards her bus stop. It was really nice of Jackie to walk there with her, rather than just take off on her bike straight away. It maybe made sense now that they knew each other well enough, but her heart still kind of fluttered whenever she offered it. “I mean, maybe it’s not productive because you’re worrying about things you can’t control, sure, but it also means you care, right? And I don’t think that’s something stupid, even if you wish you could just… not care less, but care better, you know. Still care, but in a way that’s better for yourself. To yourself.”

She thought of her parents, and of the guilt she used to feel every time she overheard someone asking them if they really thought it was wise to let her go to college for fashion, how she overworked herself to the point of passing out alone in the studio her freshman year in a misguided attempt to redeem herself from having failed a class. Like she thought she could atone for her perceived academic failures by working her body into the ground. She thought of the conversations that had started to happen in her periphery, whispers of ‘What are you thinking of doing after next year?’, ‘Have you also applied for the internship at this gallery?’, ‘Have you considered doing a minor in business?’, and how she sometimes struggled with not letting these thoughts invade her brain late at night.

“I just think it’s hard sometimes, but it’s even harder if we don’t let ourselves accept it. Or talk about it. So I guess all I’m saying is that if you need someone to listen, you know where to find me,” she finished with a deep breath.

When she looked up, there was a quiet smile on Jackie’s face, and Gigi felt warm at the thought of maybe having been the one to put it there. ***

geege you know i suddenly understand why you do the shoulder thing like i use to never really get it but that was before

janjanjan the shoulder thing??

geege wait more important how did ur audition go did they love you when are you gonna hear back

janjanjan it went pretty okay i think they’re def looking more for someone that does modern

geege so that’s good! very good!!!

janjanjan and one of the choreographers sort of smiled and nodded at me at the end i think he was on the dance team my first semester but that was before he graduated ig anyway idk maybe it was just in my head

geege no but that all sounds really good!!! look at u go diva!

janjanjan gigi just finished twenty minutes ago she was wearing this stupid ass shirt a really loose tank bc it’s been hot af and one of the straps kept falling of her shoulder

janjanjan oooooooooh oh no that shoulder thing

geege i saw collarbone and so much shoulder and upper arm

janjanjan how tragic tell me, did she lift it back up

geege yeah but it kept falling back down

janjanjan that’s rly good though!!!

geege no it was torture did you know she has a mole on her shoulder? right at the top and all i kept thinking of was that i wanted to kiss it

janjanjan cute also i don’t know how to tell you this but that shit doesn’t happen by itself

geege well it’s not like it was her fault

janjanjan listen a shirt can be a too big sure but you still kind of have to make it happen it doesn’t magically keep falling off

geege hm

janjanjan believe me i would know *** No matter how much she tried to forget about it, Gigi’s last session with Jackie was a thing that was very much happening right now.

It was strange, thinking back to the beginning of the semester, how she almost didn’t sign up for the class. How she maybe would have never met Jackie if she hadn’t, or maybe would have just pined from afar without ever learning her name were it not for her meddling friends. She found herself spending the last half of their session wondering more about how to casually ask Jackie if they’d still hang out once finals are over. Or if their semester-long friendship was, well, just that.

In the end, she just blurted it out as they packed up their things, subtlety thrown out the window.

“I mean, you’re friends with Rock, so I’m sure I’ll at least see you around, yeah?”

Jackie only hummed noncommittally in reply. She was busy packing her things back into her khaki tote bag, checking each pocket like she was looking for something. It reminded Gigi of what she used to do in middle school, every time she hadn’t done the homework or just really, really, really didn’t want to be the one called on to explain her work in front of the whole class. She’d just lean down, and start searching through her bag very obviously, making a show of opening every zipper, her head almost disappearing inside it if she could manage.

“Do you, like, need help finding something in there?” She asked, her voice coming out more harsh than she’d intended, just as Jackie seemed to decide she’d found what she was looking for and decisively slung her bag back over her shoulder.

“Sorry, I— it was—” she stopped and started, letting out a resigned sigh and shaking her head at herself. It made Gigi want to cringe. “Yeah, I’m good now, and yeah, I’ll still see you around. At least for the summer, but after that too I hope! I mean, I’ll still be around and you’ll be around too, so, y’know…” she trailed off. Her cheeks were tinged pink, just barely. Her ears, too, or maybe it was just the white of her sweater making everything appear brighter in contrast. “Besides, you still haven’t shown me any of your work, and you promised you would.” She was right about that, Gigi knew. She usually wasn’t shy about showing her designs to other people, but somehow she’d found himself unsure of what to show Jackie first.

She settled her bag on one shoulder, and they started making their way out in companionable silence until Jackie spoke again. “Hey, actually, do you maybe want to grab coffee before heading back? I have a bit of time before my next class and I could use a pick-me-up.”

They ended up just stopping by Starbucks, because it was on their way and surprisingly empty for a Thursday afternoon on campus. Gigi got a mocha frappuccino (almond milk, extra whip) and managed to sneak in Jackie’s usual cold brew order before she had the chance to protest.

“Gigi…” She sighed fondly, kind of like a grandma would when her grandchildren were doing something they’d regret. She was shaking her head in resignation, which Gigi took as a sign that she’d decided to leave it at that.

“No, I’ve been stealing almost three hours of your time every week since almost the start of the semester and—”

“How can that even be true when Rock only introduced us in what, February?” Jackie laughed in protest, reaching out to grab her drink from the brunette’s hand.

“No, not the point!” Gigi replied, moving her arm back until the cup was just out of Jackie’s reach. “You’ve given up a lot of your free time for me, is what I’m saying. And you didn’t even really know me, I could’ve been a total freak.”

Jackie opened her mouth and looked like she was about to say something, but Gigi continued before she had the chance.

“And you were so nice about it. Not ‘nice’ like when you have nothing actually all that good or specific to say. But nice in that you never made me feel like I was being stupid, you know? And you actually took the time to explain things to me so I’d understand them, not just the bare minimum so I could pass. You did all that when you didn’t really have to, so that meant a lot. Means a lot. I enjoyed spending that time with you, and not because it means I’m going to pass the class.”

Gigi forced herself to stop there, even though she knew for a fact that she could’ve easily kept going. She could feel her words coming out a little rambly, probably sounding more confusing than appreciative. At least she hoped that was what they sounded like, because the only other alternative was frightening. The idea that Jackie was in fact hearing everything Gigi was saying, her poor attempt at expressing the warmth she had felt growing inside her all semester long every time she was beside her, was infinitely more terrifying.

“Geege.” Jackie looked away, smiling after a moment, looking a little embarrassed. “I don’t even know where to start.”

Gigi could feel her cheeks getting hot, but when she looked up she could see that Jackie’s cheeks were tinged pink, too. It was almost funny, feeling what she felt and seeing the physical reflection of it not on herself, but on the person causing it. She wanted to reach out and let the tip of her fingers brush against Jackie’s cheeks, to see if they felt as warm as her own face did.

“You don’t have to say anything, I wasn’t trying to, like, I don’t know, get anything. I just wanted you to know what I meant, and that I really did mean it, when I was saying thank you.”

Gigi was laid bare, like her body was nothing but a lens, and behind it were all of her feelings jumbled together in a tangled mess, conclusion still very plain to the eye.

It was a surprise, when Jackie stepped forward and kissed her.

Gigi closed her eyes reflexively, but she could feel herself inhaling sharply, her body failing to catch up with what her brain was also struggling to process. When she eventually kissed back, it was only because she could feel Jackie’s body starting to move away, the fear finally pushing her into action. She brought one hand up, resting it on the side of the older woman’s neck, fingers gently brushing against her hair as she kissed back a little more confident. She could feel Jackie’s hand on her waist, warm and solid. Her grip tightened slightly as they separated, not strong enough to keep Gigi anywhere but a reassurance of where she was wanted.

Neither one of them really stepped back when the kiss ended, just stayed standing right in front of each other, breathing the same air. She heard Jackie swallow, loud in the silence of their shared space. She licked her lips, a reflex she didn’t even think about, and it was like the realization that, oh my god, they just kissed, hit her all over again when she found them wet. She suppressed a small shudder, although she wasn’t sure how successfully.

It was Jackie that finally broke the silence and stepped away from her, letting her hand fall away from Gigi’s side, brushing against her wrist and then gone before she had a chance to realize it.

“I,” Jackie breathed, “I’ve wanted to do this for a really long time, Gigi.” She laughed a little, maybe a bit self-conscious, and that was what brought the younger woman out of it.

“I spent hours talking to Jan about this gorgeous girl in my listening class,” she started, words leaving her mouth almost of their own volition. “How I didn’t even know her name but god, I really wish I did. Then I did know, even if I didn’t realize that you were, you know, you, when Rock said he knew someone who could tutor me. And then you were there and still the same person, but also so nice and understanding and just… good? Like, being around you just felt good.”

She paused, forcing herself to meet Jackie’s eyes again. “And I still mean everything I said earlier too, you know. Even if you weren’t interested in me, that’s not why I was saying it, but I still mean it just as much now.”

“Oh.” Jackie’s mouth was gaping so wide Gigi was worried it might actually fall to the floor. Maybe if Gigi were a different person, or if her brain wasn’t currently busy processing and reprocessing their kiss on an endless loop, she would have felt a little self-conscious at her outburst, but that just wasn’t who she was.

Especially not right now. Not when Jackie’s lips were right in front of her, still a little wet, still a little too red.

“That’s, that’s pretty good, then,” she finished quietly. They looked at each other in silence for a moment, only interrupted when Gigi let out a small snort.She couldn’t help but realise they were kind of ridiculous. Her face was taken over by an unashamedly stupidly large grin. Jackie properly stepped back then, far enough that Gigi could no longer feel the warmth of her body. She missed it immediately.

“I really need to get to my next class.” Jackie rolled her eyes. “So I can talk to the prof about her feedback on my draft first, but text me, yeah? I know it’s really shitty timing because we both have finals to take and papers to write, but I’ll make it work. Or I’ll call you, if that’s better? But I’m not running away, I promise.”

Gigi flashed her a bright smile and nodded in understanding. “I have your number too, y’know, so maybe I’ll just be the one to text you.”

“Okay, great, nice.” Jackie replied. She had her bag and coffee in hand, but made no clear motion to leave, kind of like she was worried if she did Gigi might disappear forever. It was so, incredibly, frustratingly cute and Gigi couldn’t help but wonder if Jackie would mind being kissed on the forehead.

“Jacks, it’s fine.” Gigi grinned. “I need to go too, anyway. Just maybe don’t drop your phone in any lake before you text me back this time, yeah?”

She turned away with a laugh of her own this time, and Gigi sipped through the plastic straw like it did anything to hide the smile on her face as she watched Jackie walk away.

“Wait!”

The Persian woman startled, turning back to her with an unsure smile. “What, did you forget something, Geege?”

“My first final is tomorrow,” Gigi said, looking up at Jackie with glinting eyes. “And it’s my first actual written exam this year, because I didn’t have any midterms, so how about another kiss for good luck, huh?”

Gigi’s cheeks ached from the force of her smile as she watched the uncertainty leave Jackie’s face, only to be replaced by a raised eyebrow and deep smile. Her shoulder’s rose slightly, like her instincts were telling her to hide her face in embarrassment at the cheesiness, but her eyes didn’t leave Gigi’s anyway. They didn’t leave Gigi’s, until they closed and their lips met again, and the younger woman thought it felt like more luck than she thought she had the right to ask for.

[georgeweasleysbabe]

hello babey congrats on 100!!!!!

❄️ok so my mental health. haven’t caught up with her in a spell! I’m kinda stumbling through the days as they pass!! speaking of passing—my classes, I am not. I should’ve just taken the semester off to get my shit together, cause last semester wasn’t too hot either. This one is just a joke tho. idek if I can pass at this point. I used to be straight A student but I slowly deteriorated come eighth grade. anyway. whatevs. it’s basically just work (part time), eat, sleep, stress. n I don’t wanna go back next semester or the semester after that. I wanna just quit it all and write books instead!!! I hope it works out nice. I mean, maybe I will go back? But I’d rather spend my prime years not going school...I’d rather do things of more value. cause the education system is bullshit!! anyway hopefully my mother will not be too mad at me for flunking this semester :) assuming I do (which is quite likely). but ya I’d love to make ends meet without college :) pls. on the brightside I got a really really good iced latte from starbucks 2day. with one too many shots I think but..worth it (five..idk man I got a lil hype). n with caramel. and sweet cream foam!!! heck yeah. also i like this guy @ work n I think he likes me too. if it wasn’t covid rn I’d be like..don’t be shy..offer me your sweatshirt 🙄 but ya. Thanks for making this an option!!! I needed this. I also just need this semester 2 end to I can stop worrying about school and just read and write and flirt and have my hot girl summer at long last. and up my work hours so I don’t end up sitting on my ass <3

okok there’s alot going on shsbuhw but thank you again<33

so i hope ur ok! and i agree i do think the education system is bullshit. (they’re teaching us homophobic shit and i’m not here for it)

and as for the guy that you like ahwbeubwwh you should make a moveee!! but since its covid szn like try doing it online or make sure ur wearing ur mask😤😤

anyway ur welcome for putting the rant option!! just remember you can hmu if you need anyone to talk to or smth!!

ily take care❤️

[burnedbyshoto]

i saw the ask where you mentioned that you plan on going to med school. im a freshman taking up occupational therapy, which was supposed to be my pre-med but now i cant even see myself going to med school since things are so taxing and the workload is so heavy sometimes :( i guess im just wondering how youre still so sure that you still want to go into med school? like an advice or smth? but if u dont want to answer its okay! i love your works btw and dont mind if you reblog or repost them a lot

so to be very honest I was sorta late to the entire pre-need thing. I went to a very academically vigorous and challenging high school where everyone truly succeeded. through this I had wanted for a long time to be a oncology researcher. I strove for so long to be the one who cured cancer.

and, because of my high schools connections and reputation, I was able to go work at the esteemed USC’s hospitals to be a research intern over a summer. it was exactly what I wanted, but not quite what I expected. I enjoyed the hands on activities and excelled at all the physical aspects of research, but when it came down to the nitty gritty I quickly realized that I wasn’t as creative as I thought I was (I was able to create my own strain of treatments to use on a cluster of cancer cells I had cultured and was absolutely stumped).

but because my amazing mentor was very adamant in making sure I got to experience everything that went on in a research hospital I was also allowed to shadow doctors during their clinical runs and even watched a surgery. it was at that point when I realized I wanted to be a doctor and not a researcher. I finished up high school two years ago and so far due to my luck of having my mentor and my high schools connections I was able to see from early on that’s what I wanted.

taxing schedules and heavy loads are everywhere. truly, they are. one of my best friends is a music major and she takes about 30 classes a semester to get only 10 credits. i’m a stem major and take 4 classes to get 18 credits. in reality she has a heavy and taxing schedule, and so do I. it’s all about perspective.

is it something you want? or is it something that’s been pressured on you.

the drive to be a doctor to me is also about self sacrifice and well, i’m pretty good at that! i’m also smart, enjoy having power, solving puzzles, and above else I love helping people get better. to me now, being a doctor is a clear and obvious choice. but you’re also young!!!! i’m young too!!!

we have time to figure it out!!! if it’s something that still interests you, get the premed requirements out of the way and figure out if it’s something you want by the time you graduate.

I hope this helps LOL

[vincentvangogh-ingtobed]

Just finished re-reading (or I guess more accurately re-re-re-re-re-re-re-reading) Nowhere Near You and just like... fuck man I guess I never really realized how much I was impacted by both BYNMM and NNY. Don’t get me wrong, anything written by @cuttoothom makes me really happy and I love everything she does (left my copies of When Light Left Us and Wild and Crooked back in CA while I was haphazardly throwing shit into a suitcase to come back home after my school closed down and I’m very sad I won’t be able to get them until like spring semester probs), but the original BYNMM series really got me through a lot of shit. Like I was a fucking mess in high school, I straight probably almost k*lled myself at least once a year, and idk just having this fictional world that I could read and reread kept me sane, for lack of a better phrase. Something about Moritz and Ollie (and all the others of course) felt more real to me than other characters I’d read about, they felt more like real friends that were always with me (not to discount everything my irl friends did for me lmfao). I guess I could call the series my most intense hyperfixation to this day but it kinda felt bigger than that? It felt like smth that just helped me deal with everything, like I had this island in the absolute ocean of nonsense and garbage that was my messy messy brain. And even now, now that I’m medicated and therapied and pretty even (and almost no longer a teenager anymore; 20th is in a few days!), the series still feels like a mental safe place, somewhere where I have people and things to fall back on when everything is like,,, a lot.

I’m not really completely sure where I was going with this (other than the fact that I maybe wanted to request more of book 3 🥺?? I forgot how much of a cliffhanger NNY ends on and dammit I need to know some Things), I guess I just wanted to say thank you to @cuttoothom? I mean, I know you didn’t create the books you do For Me, but I appreciate you doing it anyway. I’ve been keeping up w your socials and sometimes you post about being kind of discouraged abt stuff, and it makes me a little sad because I know how great you are and I wish i could make Everybody Everwhere do that too? Idk.

Also I just found out that Wild and Crooked has an audiobook and BITCH I am HERE FOR THAT

[pomegranate-belle]

Fic or Treat: how about smth based on your post the other day where Foggy doesn't realize he's in love with Matt 'objectively 11/10, anything less is heresy' Murdock? 😂 (it's been DAYS & i'm still thinking abt it so here we are LOL)

So this is somehow simultaneously set before Defenders and after DDS3 idk man, whatever.

Props to @kat8porgs and @thosemintcookies and @letsgetthisblog for helping me come up with some Dudes Hotter Than Matt Murdock, lol

—

Matt Murdock is pretty much the hottest guy on the planet. It’s an objective fact. There’s a lot of times Foggy despairs of this, but he’s never once questioned it; his best friend is a solid 10/10. Probably 11/10 when he does that one really sappy smile that only makes an appearance when he’s completely at ease or super drunk.

Misty Knight does not seem to agree, based on the unimpressed look on her face.

And look, there’s no accounting for taste, but Matt’s on another level. His appeal is undeniably universal. Like, as much as people have teased Foggy about fawning over Matt, it’s not gay or anything. Really. He’s just secure enough in his masculinity to be able to recognize how unfairly smokin’ hot his bff is. It’s a purely platonic observation, and the proof is that everyone else thinks Matt’s hot too.

“He’s not hot,” Misty says flatly, pushing Foggy’s phone back to the center of the cafe table.

It’s got one of Foggy’s best pictures of Matt on it — sitting at his desk in their office, hands scanning over some document or other and a look of intense concentration on his face. The lighting’s just right to show the red in his glasses and highlight his jaw.

“Are you high?” Foggy demands, jabbing a finger at the screen. “Just look at him! He’s beautiful!”

Misty snorts, then puts up her hands when Foggy glares at her.

“Look,” she begins, very obviously and condescendingly humoring him, “I’m not saying he’s ugly or anything, but when you say ‘ungodly man-beauty’ I expect to see some, y’know, ungodly man beauty. This? This is a generic-looking white boy.”

She’s lost it. That’s the only explanation. There’s nothing generic about Matt. Foggy tells her so, and her eyes sharpen a little with interest, though her mouth stays firmly in that ‘oh you poor fool’ smirk. In truth, maybe challenging a headstrong detective isn’t the smartest move; Misty is very perceptive. Not that Foggy has anything to hide. Because he doesn’t. And even if he did, he’s not necessarily known for making smart, rational decisions. Case in point: knocking out mobsters with a baseball bat, associating with someone reckless enough to earn the moniker Daredevil, and dating Marci Stahl not just once but twice.

Misty spins the phone back around and takes a second look, but there’s no dawning realization in her eyes. She shakes her head.

“And you couldn’t have gotten a picture sometime after he remembered how to use a razor?” she asks.

Foggy, of course, is offended on behalf of Matt’s pleasantly stubbly jaw. Matt looks good all the time, but he looks a lot less baby-faced with a little bit of facial hair — Foggy’s not sure whether a full-on beard would work well for Matt, but the stubble looks just right.

“The scruffiness is part of his charm!” he insists.

“He looks like a sad hobo in a business suit,” comes Misty’s totally ruthless reply.

Foggy has to gather his phone to his chest to protect Matt’s picture from such hurtful words.

“Sad hobo? We’re not talking about Rand again, are we? Because I got an earful from Hogarth the last time I suggested someone that rich should get better-fitted suits,” a familiar voice cuts in.

“Marci!” Foggy perks up — at last, a voice of cold, neutral sanity! “You’re finally here!”

Marci rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling with one eyebrow quirked and her arms subtly open — her usual ‘give me a hug’ posture.

“You didn’t think I’d miss a girls’ day out, did you?”

There’s a sudden, unexpected rush of relief and joy through Foggy’s veins as he thinks about their rekindled friendship. No matter how rough their first breakup was or how awkward their second, he’d missed her a lot in the years they weren’t speaking. He slips his phone into his pocket, then folds Marci into a hug.

“It’s good to see you too, Foggy Bear. I hear it’s been a busy month for you. Getting into heated disagreements with law enforcement again?”

As if he does it all the time! Really, it’s just bickering with Brett. And the people on the vigilante task forces. And those guys who’d been hassling Luke. And... Ok, maybe she has a point. Foggy clears his throat.

“Listen, that’s not important. I need you to tell Misty that she’s crazy. She says Matt’s not objectively attractive. But you saw, he had tons of dates in college, obviously all the girls thought he was hot.”

Marci gives Foggy a pitying smile that begins to erode his confidence with stomach-twisting effectiveness.

“Sweetie, the reason Murdock got so many dates was because he was confident but not a sexist jackhole.” She smirks. “Well. And because he was a big slut and everybody knew it. It’s not like there weren’t hotter guys on campus.”

“Name one,” Foggy orders, putting his hands on his hips like his Ma used to whenever he and Theo broke a window with their baseball.

Marci is a known bitch so she begins listing people off on her fingers.

“That guy Wyatt that Jen Walters started dating after you two broke up. The exchange student from Wakanda that quit second year. Eddie Brock on a good day. Sam Wilson every day. Cranston that one time in 2L when he was definitely trying to score with you. Shall I go on?”

“Tried to—” Foggy’s head is spinning, and he loses whatever argument he’d been cooking up about Matt’s hotness relative to these other guys. “Larry Cranston was a straight up dick, he never tried to score with me!”

“He definitely tried to score with you,” insists Marci. “At that post-midterm party first semester. But he’d already insulted Murdock by that point so you’d erased him from your dating pool and didn’t notice.”

“Well— then good riddance,” Foggy decides.

He continues to argue with Marci and Misty both until Karen arrives. Her face tells Foggy she’s somewhere between concerned and amused, but not enough to stop over before she’s got her drink in hand.

“The last time I saw you this fired up you were taking DA Tower to task,” she greets him. “What’s going on?”

“These two—” Foggy gestures at Marci and Misty— “have clearly lost it.”

“You’re the odd one out here,” says Misty.

But if he can get Karen to join his side, he won’t be — it’ll be fifty-fifty again.

“Look, unlike everyone else in this room she actually dated Matt, she’s got to agree with me. He’s objectively super hot, right, Karen?”

Karen blinks. Then she glances out the window and takes a long, awkward slurp of her coffee. Foggy throws his hands in the air. His perception of the world is literally crumbling around him. Or else everyone else has gone nuts.

“Karen, come on!” Foggy all but pleads. “You dated him!”

“Because he was really sweet to me! It’s not like someone has to be Adonis for me to date them, Foggy, I’m not that shallow! I mean, I like how he looks well enough, but he’s not as hot as, I don’t know, Idris Elba or Jason Momoa or somebody.”

She seems unbothered by the assertion. But, the thing is... Well, movie stars are all well and good, Foggy supposes, but they don’t have Matt’s... Matt-ness. That perfect, undefinable, essence-of-Matt thing that accentuates his natural beauty. Foggy doesn’t know how even Karen could have missed it, but Foggy’s got evidence on his side. He thumbs through the photos on his phone again, stopping on one from a couple months ago.

It’s of Matt, obviously. A closer shot, facing him head on. His hair is ruffled, his glasses are off, and there are small, happy little crinkles at the corner of his eyes. His smile is earnest and stunning. There’s a single fading bruise on his jaw. It’s Foggy’s absolute favorite picture of Matt, incontrovertible proof that Matt’s happiness isn’t trapped in rosy memories of the past. Proof that Daredevil is still Matt, still Foggy’s Matt, that the solid core of their friendship was never a lie.

Foggy wasn’t gonna use this — his final resort — because it’s... It’s private, and close to his heart. Matt keeps these smiles hidden, doesn’t show them to just anybody or for just any reason. It makes Foggy feel like he should guard them too. But the others just don’t get it, and Foggy’s determined to make them understand. Squaring his shoulders, he shoves his phone at Misty.

“There!” he snaps. “Ok? Just— just look at that smile and tell me he’s only average!”

Misty accepts the phone and studies the picture on it for a long, long time.

“I’ll give you the smile,” she admits at last, handing it back. “It is a nice one. But it still only bumps him up to 7/10.”

Foggy’s jaw drops.

“That’s ridiculous!”

“It isn’t though, Foggy Bear,” sighs Marci, raking her manicured nails through her hair. “It’s totally reasonable, you just can’t make an objective judgment because you’re literally in love with him.”

Foggy laughs, but it sounds strained and hysterical even to his own ears.

“Of course I’m not in love with him.”

Karen reaches out and squeezes his shoulder with a look on her face that makes Foggy want to scream.

“Foggy...”

“I’m not!”

Because he’s not. He isn’t, he can’t be. He can’t be in love with Matt, because that would suck. Not loving Matt, any idiot would be lucky to do that, but... Matt has a Type. And regardless of what Marci and Misty and Karen say about Matt’s own attractiveness, it’s at least true that the people Matt goes for are always super beautiful women. That being the criteria, Foggy’s a perfect zero out of a hundred. Being in love with Matt would be an exercise in futility, and more than a little pathetic.

“I’m not, I...” Foggy tries again, staring down at the picture of Matt smiling. “I...” His heart squeezes in his chest. “Oh, god, I’m in love with him.”

When Foggy manages to look up, the others are watching him with concern. That seems appropriate, because he himself is also very concerned, beneath the numbness of his shock.

“Oh, Foggy Bear...” Marci sighs. “I’m sorry. I thought you just didn’t want to admit it out loud. I never realized you didn’t actually know.”

Foggy takes a shaky breath, squeezes his eyes shut until he’s sure he’s not gonna start crying.

“This sucks,” he says, trying to make light of it and failing epically when his voice breaks.

Even though she looks the most uncomfortable, Misty is the first to speak.

“Isn’t it better to know?”

“Not even a little,” Foggy says miserably. “Because he won’t— he wouldn’t want...”

“You don’t know that, Foggy,” Karen tells him.

But he does know that. Matt has a Type, and Foggy isn’t it. He shakes his head.

“What... What am I supposed to do now...?”

“Now,” Karen says firmly, grabbing one of his hands and lacing their fingers together, “we go have our girls’ day out.”

It’s Marci’s turn to choose, so Foggy expects to spend the afternoon day-drinking away his feelings. Instead, he ends up at an animal shelter.

Marci does not like dogs, but she’s very partial to kittens, and doesn’t even seem to mind all the fur getting on her designer clothes. Meanwhile, Karen spends her time making goofy cooing noises to a particularly happy pit bull, and Misty plays fetch with an excitable golden retriever.

“It’s just like Danny,” she jokes, startling a laugh out of Foggy for the first time since his unfortunate realization.

For his own part, Foggy plays a little with as many of the animals as he can, but he’s especially fond of an orange tabby that likes to pounce off of high places. Because of course that’s the one that catches his eye, right? Foggy is, he’s beginning to realize, completely hopeless.

Truthfully, though, hanging out with Misty, Karen, Marci, and the animals does manage to do a good job of keeping his mind off the whole Matt Thing entirely — right up until they drop him off at his apartment. Afterwards, well, there’s nothing to distract him. Foggy spends the evening moping, and maybe eats too much ice cream before curling up under the covers and taking an early night.

—

He wakes at what the red numbers on his alarm clock assure him is 3:17am. There’s a rapid, ceaseless knocking on his window. Foggy takes a good five seconds to groan into his pillow and then forces himself to get up.

However, he’s barely climbed out of his bed before he’s tackled back into it. A very familiar idiot in a black mask is pinning him to the sheets, gloved hands on his shoulders, knees bracketing his hips.

“Foggy, Foggy—”

“Matt what the fuck?” Foggy wheezes, because— really, what the fuck?

Matt rips off his mask and throws it somewhere. He’s grinning like an idiot, and even in the low light Foggy can tell that the look in his eyes is tender but exhilarated.

“You’re in love with me?” Matt asks, breathless and giddy.

The combination of those words with that unexpected tone means Foggy has to give his brain a few seconds to reboot before he can reply.

“I. I’m. Yes?”

Matt’s smile becomes somehow more dazzling.

“Good,” he says, like a big dork, and tugs Foggy up into a kiss.

It’s a good kiss. Like, a really good kiss. So good that maybe it takes Foggy a few minutes of really good kissing and one pinch to his own arm to be sure it’s not a dream.

Eventually, probably because it’s literally 3:30 in the freaking morning, Matt flops himself down on Foggy’s chest and his ardor cools into sleepy, catlike nuzzling.

“I love you too,” he offers at last, about fifteen minutes after he really ought to have, still pressing tiny kisses to Foggy’s throat.

Foggy can only laugh and gather him closer, disbelief and joy fizzing in his chest like soda.

“Yeah. I kind of figured.”

—

It’s 8:42 the next morning when Foggy thinks to ask what exactly tipped Matt off about his feelings. Matt’s posture gets cagey and sheepish.

“What?” Foggy asks. “Is it really that bad?”

“Well...”

Matt pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and holds it out for Foggy to take. After some silent prompting, Foggy accepts it and navigates to voicemail amidst the narration of the phone’s screen reader. There’s one message. Cautiously, Foggy clicks play.

“Hey!” Marci’s voice says loudly. “Hey! Answer your phone Murdock, I know you don’t sleep! Fucker.”

She’s pretty clearly drunk. The voicemail only gets more angry and incoherent from there; Foggy’s pretty sure she calls Matt ‘Wal-Mart brand white bread’ at one point, which... Ouch. But she also says a lot of sappy stuff about Foggy deserving the world. And then it returns to the insults when she says that if Matt wasn’t ‘too busy cultivating a greasy Castaway beard’ he would have admitted his ‘stupid, stu— smoof— smooch— schmoopy, that’s the one, schmoopy’ feelings by now because Foggy loves him too and they’re both big idiots making themselves sad for no reason.

“Ah,” Foggy murmurs when the message finally, finally ends. “Well. That’s... Something.”

Matt nods, chokes out a laugh.

“Pretty much,” he agrees.

“Um. I... I’m really sorry about her.”

“No. I, um... I’m glad. You know. That she called,” Matt tells him, and wow that earnest face is too intense for Foggy’s poor weak heart. “I.” Matt straightens his shoulders, takes a deep breath. “I love you.”

“Yeah,” Foggy says wonderingly. “You do, don’t you?”

He can see it now, on Matt’s face — and he suddenly realizes it’s been there a long time, that part of Matt’s indescribable beauty, his Matt-ness, is... Being-in-love-with-Foggy-ness. That Foggy makes Matt as happy as Matt makes him.

“Foggy,” Matt whines, mouth curling down into a slight pout.

“What?” And then it hits him. “Oh! Right. Yeah. I love you too, Matty.”

And like magic, like the flash of sunlight reflecting off glass, it’s back again — Matt’s perfect smile.

[ainsleymorgan]

『MARILYN LIMA ❙ DEMIGIRL』 ⟿ looks like AINSLEY MORGAN is here for HER SOPHOMORE year as a COMPUTER SCIENCE student. SHE is 20 years old & known to be ORGANIZED, BENEVOLENT, INDECISIVE & OBSTINATE. They’re living in NOLAND, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ lexi. 23. pst. she/hers. 

we’re back at it again folks! this gal has been bopping around my head for a good long while now - i apologize if this is an incoherent mess. give this a little like and i’ll slide into ur dm’s to plot smth ok ily

stats

— background. (death tw, grief tw, cancer tw)

The Morgans have a long, complicated history. Margaret and Callum meet near the end of college (she’s studying English, he lives in town) and fall rapidly in love. The only problem? Margaret’s engaged to her high school sweetheart. When Margaret ends up pregnant, she pretends like it’s her fiancee’s and has a shotgun wedding. Callum goes off to join the army and pretend like his heart wasn’t just shattered in two.

Years pass - Margaret gets her PhD in English and has another kid (this time with her actual husband). Callum leaves the army, gets married too (and widowed a few years later), has some kids of his own. But then they run into each other at a bar in a city far away from the last one they were in together, and it’s like nothing ever changed.

The two get married almost immediately after the divorce papers are signed, and have two more kids almost immediately after that. Margaret becomes an English professor, and Callum’s content with taking care of the gaggle of children their blended family has produced. 

Five years after the last set of kids, Ainsley and her brother Tristan are born. They’re just as unplanned as their eldest sister was, but no less loved. 

They quickly become the apple of the entire family’s eye, doted upon by their army of older siblings. The twins are late to walking, so they get taken to the pediatrician, who says that they’re so used to being carried everywhere by their family that they haven’t felt the need to walk yet. They’re set down more often, and quickly catch up to be able to run after their brothers and sisters.

Ainsley and Tristan are attached at the hip. Despite the attention from the rest of their family, the two maintain that specific bond only twins can. They make up a language that only they can understand, and throw tantrums whenever they’re out of eyesight of each other. 

They’re happy kids, bright and bubbly. And loud. The house is always filled with screams and laughter. It’s an idealistic life, a perfect family.

DEATH TW // There’s an accident when the twins are nearly five. Nobody knows what happened - they swear they were watching the kids splashing in the lake - but suddenly, Tristan’s gone. His body is found in the water later that day. // END TW

GRIEF TW // Ainsley’s too young to understand what’s going on when they bury him. She gets quiet and shy, a once bubbly little girl drawing in on herself. All she knows is that her best friend is gone, and now there’s nobody to actually talk to.

They move soon after, to a town called Lovell, when Margaret gets a job at the local university. It’s something the family needs, after Tristan, and they hope that the change will help Ainsley open back up again.

She doesn’t, not for a while. She’s thrust into kindergarten, in a new town without her twin there to keep her grounded. Her teachers worry about her social skills - she seems to prefer painting or doodling to playing on the playground with her classmates. But slowly, surely, she starts opening up again as Lovell becomes home. // END TW

The Morgans decide that they like Lovell, and that they’re going to stay. They buy a nice house in a quiet neighborhood, with big trees for the kids to climb on. Ainsley breaks her leg falling out of one when she’s seven (she still has the scar on her knee from where a branch snagged). 

As the kids get older and start moving out of the house, Callum decides he needs a project. He’s always loved cooking and restaurants. So he decides to buy one. Calls it the Main Street Diner (not very creative, but it tells you right where it is!), and starts really integrating himself into the Lovell community.

Ainsley spends nearly every afternoon there, sitting at the corner of the counter after school. Her siblings are old enough to babysit, but they’ve hit their moody teenage phase, and Ainsley wants nothing to do with it. Her mom’s either teaching or grading papers or reading, and that’s boring to a nine-year-old. So diner it is.

She spends most of her time at the counter drawing or painting. Each one is proudly displayed on the wall, marking her progress over time. 

Sometimes she helps with little tasks, like sorting silverware or wiping down tables. Eventually, when she hits high school, she graduates to waiting tables to make some money of her own.

When it comes time to think about college, Ainsley decides she wants to go as far away from Lovell as possible. She knows everything and everyone in town - even some of the Radcliffe students who frequent the diner. Ainsley wants something new and interesting. 

She looks at schools in California, eventually gets accepted to UCLA. Ainsley packs her bags and flies across the country. She learns to miss the comforts of home, but enjoys the independence being on the other side of the continent gives her.

CANCER TW // Halfway through her first year at UCLA, Ainsley gets a call from her mom. Dad’s sick, she says. Cancer. 

Ainsley drops everything and moves back home. She takes a semester off of school to help take care of her dad while her mom continues teaching. He gets better, goes into remission, but there’s still the lingering fear that it’ll come back, that it’ll be worse, that she’ll lose him too. // CANCER TW

So she decides to transfer to Radcliffe. It’s local, in case anything happens, but she can still live in the dorms to keep some semblance of independence. And she gets to go for essentially free. She starts working at the diner again, to keep an eye on her dad, though she claims it’s just to make money. It’s a good set-up, for now.

— personality.

Ainsley is super artistic. Literally constantly drawing or writing or doing something creative. There’s usually paint somewhere on her clothes, regardless of how new the clothing is.

Also has this Thing against making her hobby her career, which is why she’s a computer sciences major rather than an arts major. She grew up watching her mom and dad turn their passions into their jobs, which seemed stressful and like it took some of the fun out of it. So she said no thanks.

She still really enjoys computers and coding - mainly web design. Hopes to become a full-time web designer after college, while throwing in some of the graphic design portions of web designing to sprinkle some of the artsy aspects of her personality.

Despite being a computer sciences major and pretty good with technology, she definitely prefers going analog in most of her life. Writes everything down rather than typing it into her phone or laptop, and goes through a million journals (also owns a million more blank ones).

This bitch definitely bullet journals.

Is a fairly organized person, but her room? An absolute mess. Ainsley says it’s an aesthetic mess (it’s not).

The only part she takes care of is the collection of plants on her windowsill. One of her notebooks is dedicated to their care schedule, and notes on how they’re doing.

Her bag is basically Mary Poppins’ tote, but make it a beat-up Fjallraven she bought during a 50% off sale three years ago. Has literally anything you could ever need in it. Paper, pens, snacks, water, first aid kit, you name it. Need some superglue or a needle and thread? Ask Ainsley.

Is simultaneously super indecisive and super stubborn. Will take a thousand years to decide on something, but once she’s picked it, she’s stuck on it. 

Will die on any hill she feels remotely attached to.

That being said, she’s not a super aggressive person. Is actually pretty calm, still quieter than she was before Tristan. The human equivalent of a warm blanket.

Also super gay. So so gay. 

(But she’s never been with a girl bc she’s got issues w feeling worthy of romantic attention!! Or any attention!!)

This bitch needs to go to therapy.

— wanted connections.

aka the part im so bad at

Where my Lovell locals at?

Friends - pls give this cinnamon roll ppl to fawn over she loves her friends !!

Enemies - idk if she’d think of them as an enemy but let ppl be mean to her so she can be kind of mean back

Crushes - either on her or ppl for her to crush on !! she will pine until the day she dies !!

idk what else im bad at this just love me and love Ainsley

[sgnwooseok]

HELLO FRIENDOS I AM BACK FROM MY HIATUS AND I NEED PLOTS! over the time of my vacation plus my recent hiatus, a lot of people have dropped and i’ve lost a lot of my plots ; u ; sooo with that being said, i’m going to post a thread drop list as well as some open plots, and a mini update on wooseok’s life~ 

also if we were plotting, i’ll definitely make sure to get back to you asap ; u ;

and lastly, even if we weren’t plotting or had a plot i would love to plot with everyone! i’m gonna quickly unfollow and refollow the masterlist dskfbsd

first the update!!! 

the biggest part!!! is he is now dating @sgnseungwoo after the longest stand-off ever, since ~technically~ jan 1 bc he’s a cheesy bitch

starting this upcoming semester he will be a senior and no longer a junior

still continuing his nutrition major and kines minor

he’s in cooking club but doesn’t show up v often nowadays

gonna be dragged around to a lot of helio things bc he’s dating the president so ... but don’t expect him to be happy about needing to socialize

he’s mostly over his caffeine addiction/dependence but he still drinks coffee everyday bc yeah

vague reminder that wooseok is p much haruhi in episode one of ouran high school host club in the sense that he’s still on a full ride scholarship and will “ugh, rich people” at you

okay thread drop! i’m going to be dropping the following threads because most of them are super outdated now and i would love to plot new threads if you want! just like this and i’ll come im you

light as a feather / @sgnxhwiyoung

wrongful accusation / @sgnyoohyeon

you ain’t never had a friend like me / @sgnjongin

love yourself / @sgnchanyeol

lastly some open plots that are open once again!

cousins, on his mom’s side (or his dad’s side tbh but with his history with his dad that might be a more strained relationship and will need a bit more plotting than if you’re related to him through his mom)

exes??? pls??? he’s bi so he definitely dated some people before and it would be really fun to have a high school ex-gf who knew him before his Glow Up

this is the third time you’ve been locked outside of my dorm bc you left your student card/key inside. this is also the third time i’ve had to let you in

we have the same early 9am class and you fall asleep on me so i wrote notes for you (so you want to either pay him back or get him to always write notes for u or smth)

we’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking behind the shelf next to us, what the fuck are we supposed to do?

and also we can just brainstorm or smth sdjkfbsjhdbf

[lesbianfreyja]

hey u have an english degree or smth right? do u have any advice abt writing abt ur own life maybe? im applying to colleges and last year i was rejected everywhere so obviously i did it wrong and idk like i have great test scores and teachers said i was a rlly good writer but i just never know how to approach personal essays or whatever like i either come off too emotional or too stoic and just ?? also all the questions r lile "write abt how ur experiences shape who u r" and i have no idea (1/2)

(2/2) how to remove myself or any narrative i have from my trauma like its ingrained into everything i am bc the past however many years have been consumed by it. but i dont want to sound unstable but also like my experience and trauma DID form who i am so like ??? its just so fucking frustrating i never know where to draw the line ig and just 😐. sorry if this is too personal or annoying but if u have literally any feedback on anything thatd be so fucking great id appreciate anytjing

no worries! not sure i can help but i’d like to try. i applied for college, now…six years ago? so i don’t really remember much about it, but i have some general advice

personal essays r weird because it goes against every single “dont use ‘i’ statements and dont talk abt ur opinion” lesson u learn about writing essays in high school lol. the main thing i think u need to maybe do is actually make it…less..personal? i’m sure your essays are good n true but colleges don’t really care about that. i always say “the only thing i learned in high school was how to bullshit” so i’m going to give you some bullshitting advice now

don’t pick a topic that you think answers the question best or is easy to write about. pick a topic that the college wants to hear and tailor it how you need. for example, if the question is “write about how your experiences shaped who you are,” then you shouldn’t ask yourself who you are and how you got there. colleges rlly dont care if you personally went through something or who that turned u into. instead, pick a strong trait that you have, ideally something that you can make sound like it will help you academically: instead of brave, kind, or selfless, instead emphasize that you’re good at following direction, you’re independent, you’re hardworking, or you’re naturally good at picking up new skills. then pick a story that ties into that trait–or that you can make sound like it ties into that trait, even if the two are unrelated.

for example: let’s say i was applying somewhere, and i wanted to emphasize that i am good at making decisions in a crisis. what i’d say instead is something like: I am very good at finding simple solutions to difficult problems in a way that benefits everyone involved. I learned this when trying to navigate a complicated period in my life. When I was 17 I found out I had a half-brother, which was difficult for my family. We found out he was in town for a few days and would be coming to stay with us the next day, which was very sudden and hard for everyone. I proposed x, y, and z solutions. We picked Option Z and now he actually has a great relationship with my mother because of it. I apply the same principle to school when struggling with a difficult problem or a class that I’m not doing well in. When I found out I was failing math three days before the end of the semester, I did X and got an A instead. I try to apply the lessons that I learned in the hard times to everything I do, including school, since it’s the most important goal for me and where I spend most of my time and energy.

that entire story is complete bullshit, but it doesn’t matter. i took 1 thing i wanted to say im good at, picked 1 thing that was true (i have a half brother that i found out about when i was 17) and then made the rest up to fit it together. if you happen to have an actual situation that fits the trait you’re looking for, great! but don’t get too bogged down in the details. and if you’re only applying to one school, do some research and try to make it line up with their interests. if it’s for the common app, keep it super general.

you’re selling yourself to a college, not telling the truth. they just want to know why you’ll make them look better as a school! they don’t care about anything else.

sending love & good luck!

[innerartisanfan]

17 Questions

Got tagged by @deacydarling! Thank u so much love I'm 🥺

Rules answer 17 questions then tag 17 people you wanna know better

Nickname: My family calls me Alinchenbienchen sometimes (my name in cute, then bee in German) and I'm not getting in my mum's nicknames 😅😅

my old flatmate called me Ali...

Zodiac Sign: Pisces🐡

Height: 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor 🦁❤💛

Last Thing Googled: “moon sign calculator" (it's scorpio)

Favorite Musicians: Queen (duh), ABBA (defined my childhood I will not be taking criticism at this time), Michael Jackson, Elton John, (Elton John sung by Taaron Egarton), Panic! At the Disco, Fall Out Boy, Evanescence, Halestorm, Taylor Swift, Hans Zimmer...

A mixed bunch really😅

Song Stuck in My Head: High Hope's (but weirdly quiet, m having soft hours apparently 🤷🏼‍♀️)

Following: 584

Followers: 118

Amount of Sleep I Get: Right now enough, ask me again in a few weeks, semester's starting on monday

Lucky Numbers: 3,5,7,12,15,21

Dream Job: Writing🥺 I'd love to do science journalism (or something like that) and work for a monthly magazine or smth and research super interesting stuff

Or write books, or movies, something with creating stories.

I'm also good at teaching things but I actually loathe the school system and also being in front of groups of judgemental teenagers (personal worst nightmare) so let's not do that.

Wearing: Jean's, Tshirt, Cadigan, big-ass plaid scarf, (christmas socks), headphones but I forgot to play music for a while now oops

Favorite Songs: wait lemme think...

"The Revolution"/"Light a Fire"/"Liberty" by Chris de burgh (listen to it. Listen to it NOW. To the entire album if I'm being honest)

White Queen (As It Began) - Queen

Earth Song - Michael Jackson

Nightmare - Halsey (also the Rock Cover by Halocene??? 😔👌👌👌 that's some good shit)

Carol of the bells - piano version by George Winston

Instruments: eeeehhhm

Flute in elementary school???

I've tried cello for like 6 month in 5th grade...

I AM thinking about learning bass but I'm not quite sure how to go about it...

Random Facts: 

Elephant Brains react to humans the same way human brains react to puppies - they think we're cute.

The chicken came first bc the protein needed to make the eggshell can only be produced by hens (apperantly). On the other hand the species chicken came from other species who laid eggs (chrm T-Rex, chrm) but who weren't genetically 'chicken-eggs per see... wich means that the first being with 100% chicken-DNA wasn't in a real chicken egg...

Oh, you mean facts about me? Wierd flex, but ok.

I'm starting university the day after tomorrow and I'm a lil anxious about it.

I'm a vegetarian (tried vegan, almost starved myself, acknowledged that I need to learn how to cook properly before I leave out half the ingredients...)

Me? The biggest book nerd.

I have two little sisters (who are The Best Siblings The World Has Ever Seen, Don't Even Try and I love them so much)

I love dancing (and I'm not even half bad at it)

I originally wanted to study abroad but then it didn't work out

One time I went out with a big group of friends of friends (the cooler that thou-kind) to a bar and everybody got beers, except for me who ordered tea. My friends, apparently, found that iconic.

Aesthetics: big mugs of tea, piles of books, wold maps full of pins, fairy lights and cozy blankets, the runway at night through a rainy airplane window, big ass scarfs, farmer's markets, second hand shopping, walking home from the club at 5 in the morning when the sun comes up, campfires on the beach, in a strange city with only a backpack, literally every bathbomb Lush is selling, sitting on someones shoulders in a concert crowd

Tagging: @dearmrharing , @roombagreyjoy , @shaggy-goblin , @mm-better-not , @thatfunkylittlediscoman @j-gaff , @alltidvinter , @faller1344 , @hollowxo , @topblurryface119 , @alert-danger-queers , @bogdevilblog , @asupersonicwoman , @rogah-wrote-gaga , @deutschedame and honestly whoever wants to help a sister out and get this to 17 (how many ppl does this ask game think I know??)

As always, participation is entirely voluntary 🤗

[monohart]

pretzels. (boyfriend!au)

ft. kim jungwoo, younger siblings and a safe word for “save me”.

when you started going out with jungwoo, your younger siblings / younger friends were even more excited then u were

bc he was the nicest and kindest and most considerate guy in the world

ok no lie he was nicer than u and he was kinder to your friends too lol

i don’t blame him honestly he just wanted to make a good impression on your friends who he knew meant a lot to u

even tho they can be ... quite a handful sometimes..

the first few months were okay because your friends were still on that.,, getting to know him stage,, so they were quite shy

until once u were like

oh boy u regret it now

but u were like

a bit tired of how they always came to you for requests and favours

like hey can u help me with this homework,,, or hey can u pick me up after school bc my parents are too busy...

so u were like

ok here is my boyfriend’s number, just ask him to help u bc i’m rly busy

it started off good, bc like i said, jungwoo wanted to be friends with your friends too!!

and your friends were like WOW...... IT a BOY hHhHhHhh

and jungwoo was like ᵒᵐᵍ ᶦᵗˢ ᵐʸ ᵇᵃᵇʸ'ˢ ᵇᵃᵇʸ ᶠʳᶦᵉⁿᵈˢ ʰʰʰʰʰᴴᴴʰᴴᴴʰ

u liked seeing them get along well too

UNTIL,,,,

a few weeks later

whenever u were like

hey jungwoo can we hang out this saturday i finally finished my assignments for now

and he goes

“oh ... oh no i promised your friend.. the one who always wear pigtails? i promised her i’d take her to the mall for the uh, claire’s big discount sale”

“... did you just turn me down bc u have a date with my 7 year old friend..”

after much persuasion from jungwoo your 7 year old friend finally let u tag along

she was looking forward to spend the whole afternoon with jungwoo bc he was nice and he smiled and gave his genuine opinion on stuff

and he’d buy bubble tea for her just to see her smile kjdsnf he was soft for that kinda thing

ʲᵘⁿᵍᵘʷᵘ

he wasn’t like u who scolded them every other minute, for spending too much money and wasting time

basically they hated u at times bc u were such a mOM.

so anyway at the mall date outing, when the 7 year old was busy browsing through some necklaces at the sale, you pulled jungwoo aside

your friend was little but she eavesdrop on stuff a lot

so when the store manager wasn’t looking you pulled jungwoo into the small storage room at the back

and he’s like

slightly panicked

and he kept licking his lips bc he was nervous and also he forgot to wear your favourite chapstick

the one u really liked the flavour of

because he thought u stole him aside because u wanted to kiss him lol poor baby im sorry u just wanted to talk loolol

"we need a safe word...”

“for? what?”

“for when you can’t stand my friends anymore... and you want me to tell them to back off.”

“oh... it’s okay. they’re really cute and i don’t mind”

“you’ll change your mind after two months, wanna bet?”

“huh? oh.. it’s really okay, baby.”

“okay just in case you change your mind... just... tell me that u want some pretzels and i’ll get it.”

he laughs. “okay then.“

u reminded him about the secret code for a distress call almost everyday and he’s like yep no worries i’m good rn

then before u know it two months fly by

you still get to spend a lot of time with him during the week

but as the semester rolls by you both get busier and busier w studies

he still helps your little friends with the little favours and stuff and he still likes them with his full heart but

but whevenr he goes hang out with them he noticed how reluctant u were to join and that small crestfallen look on your face when u think that he and your friends prolly enjoy each others’ company more than yours,

made him worried fr

so he called u one evening

u were walking home from a night class

and y’all chat about bland things until he goes

“i miss you.”

and you’re like pft come on we talk everyday and we spend our weekends together

and he’s like :(

“but it hasn’t been.. just us.. in a long time..”

cUE SOME SMIRKING

u were like

hHEHEHE

u decide to play w him a little

“but too bad my little sisters like you so, so much and you seem to like them too and they’ll be disappointed if jungwoo oppa can’t come and play with them anymore”

he goes silent for a while and u could tell he strugglin’

“i... i guess i just want some pretzels...”

he added quickly “just for a while?”

“and how long is your while, baby?”

“um, one month?”

you think about it.

one whole month where you get jungwoo all to yourself again

yeah of course what the heck he was your boyfriend after all

literally that night you phoned your friends to say jungwoo was super busy this next month so they weren’t able to find him

cue some sulky sad depresso 7 year olds but wtv!!! they’ll live!!!

also

jungwoo that headass

he came over to your place and packed a bag of your stuff w all necessities and basically kidnapped u for a few days

netflix every night until y’all both fell asleep!!

lots and lots of cuddling and spooning and soft shit

on nights without netflix y’all lay in the dark and talked about whatever came to mind

his favourite place was the crook of your neck

tickled u hella but u let him bc u liked being the small spoon

felt safe and protected uwu

he smelt nice after showers too

he doesn’t wear cologne but u know that very fresh laundry and soft cotton soap smell

yeah that’s jungwoo and it was so warm and soft

waking up in the mornings you’d find that he hadn’t moved at all and was still spooning u

tbh he’d usually be up before u so when you turn your head he’d attack u w kisses

hug u a bit tighter until you start laughing bc he always said the first thing he wanted to hear in the mornings was your cute little laugh

you’d go to the library together to “study”

u being the kind of college student who don’t wnana delay graduation and longer than it should be, worked diligently

but your mans kim jungwoo was willing to risk it all

you’d look up everyone few min or so and he’d be just looking dreamily at u

w a small silly grin on his face

his eyes go a little softer around the edges like he was looking at smth absolutely gorgeous and cute

u kick him under the table shyly

and he gently kicks u back

and y’all nudge each other back and forth until u couldn’t stand it anymore and drags him out of the quiet area

there’s a fire emergency staircase next to the toilets around the back of the library where people rarely go

before u could fully make sure there weren’t anyone lurking around the area he’s already backing u against the wall and kissing u

hhhhh

one of his hands is against the wall just above your ear and the other hand is on your chin

meanwhile your hands are everywhere tho

and he loves it

awkwardly stops when some lost first year kid come walking up the stairs only to immediately dash back down again hhh

gave u an excuse to hide against his chest

made him giggle a bit uwu

but then lifted your chin up and dove back in :)

anyway :)) after y’all finish :)) making out :)) you head back to your desks like nothing happened :))

some people stare though

at jungwoo’s tousled hair and bright red cheeks

and at your swollen lips and shifty eyes :))

when the one month come to an end it feels like coming home from a honeymoon really

bc everything goes back to normal and your friends are ringing him up again

but you didn’t mind because it’s only gonna be a matter of time before jungwoo comes back and asks for pretzels again uwu

[anotherpapercut]

yo how did you get good grades in math? i was meeting with a tutor 6 hrs a week throughout the spring semester and did good on the hw but i still failed all my tests but i need to pass calc 1 before i can take mechanical physics and move on w/ my major 🙁 (i also have dyscalculia and im still learning how to work around it)

so honestly the key to this is having a good understanding teacher. in high school I made really bad math grades despite loving and being pretty good at math and in college I've had great teachers and gotten good grades. now I'm gonna warn you this is difficult. I love math but my dyscalculia makes it take a while. I recommend finding out about an official diagnosis and getting accommodations such as extended time on tests and a formula card (basically what it sounds like. I get to write out formulas I need to memorize bc remembering formulas is impossible w dyscalculia lmao) if u havent already but beyond that heres a couple things that I do

-before you begin actually working out a problem especially if it's a word problem like any related rates problem, right down the initial numbers you need. then quadruple check these numbers because if you copy the problem wrong which I know for me happens frequently you're fucked

-if the problem involves a shape or graph of any kind (like in derivative applications or using integrals to determine volume etc) ALWAYS draw it. even a basic one. never underestimate the power of a good drawing with proper labeling

-reread the problem multiple times. each time keeping in mind how you might solve it make sure you understand it

-do not EVER try to remember a number. ever. if you need to keep a number in mind for any reason write it down and write exactly what you need it for. check a couple times to ensure its right

-dont be afraid to use your calculator for everything. and make sure you have an appropriate one. most good calculus calculators will solve indefinite integrals for you so you can check your work. most can also be used to repeatedly solve the same polynomial (ie when you have a polynomial and you need to plug multiple numbers into it you can use the calculator for this by writing out the function then storing a number this eliminates a lot of calculations that you do by hand thereby decreasing the risk of an error) also use your calculator for even small shit like addition. better safe than sorry and it doesn't count against you to do this

-speaking of calculators don't clear it! go back through the history to double check your numbers! it's easy to type stuff into the calculator wrong so you should always check the

-do each problem 3 or 4 times. like all the way through writing down each step. it's a pain in the ass esp in calc when you're doing different derivatives and integrals but it's the only way

-taking good notes is also rlly important. I bought a bunch of cheap colored and write everything in different colors which makes it way easier to read and understand. also it's a good idea to write your initial notes during the lecture then when you get home rewrite them a little better with more context and some homework problems

I'm not gonna lie to you man it's hard. it sucks that it's hard and that it takes so fucking long and there are some days worse than others and when that falls on a test day it gets harder. but I can't stress enough how important it is to talk your teacher and make sure you have all the accommodations you need.

oh and the website mathway is really cool for double checking your homework if you ever need smth like that