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#i need to do him
xcherryerim Β· 14 days
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Teasing the Cute Neighbor
Mike schmidt x gn!reader
Couldn’t take my mind of Mike lawn mowing for a while now… so here y’all go 🫢🏻
tw: just suggestive :)
β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
As you approached Mike, who was diligently mowing the lawn on this sultry day, you couldn't help but notice the way his muscles rippled under the skimpy white tank top he wore. Beads of sweat trickled down his forehead, outlining the contours of his handsome face.
His breath quickened when he saw you approach, seemingly disheveled from a run that left your clothes clinging to your body in tantalizing places. The sight made his heart race even faster, fueling his already heightened senses.
"Are you thirsty?" you say, your smirk suggesting more than just concern for his well-being on this sweltering afternoon. Mike blushed at the implied invitation, momentarily speechless as his gaze unintentionally lingered on your body.
"What?!" he stammered, attempting to regain his composure while wondering if his gaze had been too obvious.
"Are you thirsty," you repeated, extending a hand holding an ice-cold bottle of water. Your eyes sparkled with mischief.
"Oh." Mike managed to say, taking a deep breath to steady himself before reaching out to accept the offered bottle of water.
The cool liquid felt heavenly against his parched lips, offering relief not only to his throat but also to his flustered nerves. "Thank you."
With a self-satisfied smirk playing on your lips, you saunter away from Mike, feeling the thrill of having successfully teased your dear neighbor. Your hips swayed enticingly from side to side, a subtle dance designed to leave him captivated and wanting more.
The look on his face said it all – a mix of curiosity and desire, a perfect culmination of all your efforts.
"Bye, Mike," you purr, your voice dripping with seduction as you walk away, leaving him behind with nothing but the memory of your flirtatious display.
Unable to resist, he watches as you disappear from view, his cheeks flushed crimson in a combination of embarrassment and arousal. All he could manage was a soft "Bye..." before you were out of sight.
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greykolla-art Β· 2 months
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Charlie: β€œI’m so glad my most villain-coded friend is at full power again! πŸ₯°πŸ’•β€
*throws this to you angst goblins like raw steak* ❀️
(No I will not do a part 2!❀️)
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cozylittleartblog Β· 1 year
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not that we didn't already Know belos was full of shit, but it's even funnier knowing the titan was still alive the whole time and probably judging him
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akkpipitphattana Β· 1 year
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i’ll never understand people who can’t make fun of their faves a little. like yes i love this character and would defend them to my grave but also they’re stupid sometimes and they do dumb things and imma make fun of them for it
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slime-crafters Β· 1 month
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The best thing about the new stardew update is you can tell concerned ape got comfortable just being fucking weird. Which is understandable considering most indie devs have to be some level of insane
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guardian-of-soho Β· 8 months
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The more I think about the last minutes the more I’m sure Crowley was saying goodbye from the minute Aziraphale told him he’d said yes to Heaven. He doesn’t confess his love like he’s hopeful, he confesses it like a eulogy. He doesn’t kiss him to make a beginning, he kisses him to seal the end. He watches him go like it’s the last time.
Crowley knows Heaven. He knows they’ll want to either make Aziraphale just like them, or destroy him. Either way I think he believes he’s seen his angel for the last time.
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egophiliac Β· 19 days
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IT WAS ERIC AFTER ALL!!!! I'm so glad we got to meet him (before Vil snaps him away with those Infinity Gauntlets) (can't wait to see what happens when we get the matching Infinity Tiara to go with them, there will be no survivors)
(sorry to be so slow/rough lately, just got a lot of stuff on the ol' brain at the moment! alas, if only I could spend all my time drawing incredibly stupid characters I mean I do but)
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beacon-lamp Β· 1 month
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sir, a second ethoslab photo has hit the hermitcraft community
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stoopidstapler Β· 9 months
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SO IVE BEEN GOIN INSANE SINCE THIS TRAILER DROPPED. JUST. SIMON. SIMON. SIMON.
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bagofdo-ritos Β· 2 months
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self indulgent season 1 jon art… save me s1 jon sims… s1 jon sims save me…
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cryiling Β· 2 months
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i need his gender so bad you don't understand
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sky-is-the-limit Β· 4 months
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πš–πš’πšœπšœπš’πš˜πš—πšŠπš›πš’, 𝚍𝚘𝚐𝚐𝚒, πšŒπš˜πš πšπš’πš›πš•, πšŒπš˜πš•πš•πšŠπš™πšœπšŽπš πšŒπš˜πš πšπš’πš›πš•, πšπšŠπšŒπšŽπšπš˜πš πš— 𝚍𝚘𝚐𝚐𝚒, πš˜πš™πšŽπš— πš–πš’πšœπšœπš’πš˜πš—πšŠπš›πš’, πšœπš™πš˜πš˜πš—, πš•πš’πš’πš—πš πšπš›πš˜πšžπš—πšπš‘πš˜πš, πš›πš˜πšπšŽπš˜, πšœπšπšŠπš—πšπš’πš—πš 𝚍𝚘𝚐𝚐𝚒, πšπšžπšŠπš›πš, πš”πš—πšŽπšŽπš•πš’πš—πš πšŒπš›πšŠπšπš•πšŽ, πšœπš’πš—πš—πšŽπš›, πš•πš˜πšπšžπšœ, πšπš˜πš•πšπšŽπš πš‹πšžπšπšπšŽπš›πšπš•πš’, πš‹πšžπš•πš•, πšπšŠπš—πšŒπšŽπš›, πš™πšžπšœπš‘πš’πš—πš πšπšžπšœπš‘, πšŒπš˜πšžπš—πšπšŽπš›πšπš˜πš™, πš›πš˜πšŒπš”πš’πš—πš πš‘πš˜πš›πšœπšŽ, 𝚜𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 πšœπšŒπš’πšœπšœπš˜πš›πšœ, πšœπš™πš˜πš˜πš—πš’πš—πš, πšπš’πš•πš• πš’πš πš‹πš›πšžπš’πšœπšŽπšœ πš–πš’ πšŒπšŽπš›πšŸπš’πš‘ πšŠπš—πš πšπš‘πš›πš˜πšŠπš, πš˜πš—πšŽ πš•πšŽπš πšžπš™, πš‹πš˜πšπš‘ πš•πšŽπšπšœ πšžπš™, πšžπš™πšœπš’πšπšŽ πšπš˜πš πš—, πš˜πš— πšπš‘πšŽ πš‹πšŽπš, πš˜πš— πšπš‘πšŽ πšπš•πš˜πš˜πš›, πš˜πš— πšπš‘πšŽ πšŒπš˜πšžπš—πšπšŽπš›, πš˜πš— πšπš‘πšŽ πšπšŠπš‹πš•πšŽ, πš’πš— πšπš‘πšŽ πšπšŠπš›πšπšŽπš—, πš˜πš— πšπš‘πšŽ πš‹πšŽπšŠπšŒπš‘, πš’πš— 𝚊 πšπšŽπš—πš, πš‹πš’ πšπš‘πšŽ πšπš’πš›πšŽ, πšŠπš•πš• 𝚍𝚊𝚒, πšŠπš•πš• πš—πš’πšπš‘πš, πšπš’πš•πš• 𝙸 πšπš’πšŽ.
(gif cred: @itspapillonnoir)
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mizgnomer Β· 9 months
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Trouble in the 1800's - Good Omens
The next time we see them together Crowley asks for holy water. What did they do to the poor dear?
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machinerot Β· 3 months
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inkskinned Β· 1 year
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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
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myrkulitescourge Β· 5 months
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the way that one line from the new epilogue in an astarion romance is going to HAUNT me
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just. what a profoundly intense thing to confess to someone.
like, just these six months of newfound happiness with you exerts a force on his heart equal and in direct opposition to two centuries of endless torment, the gnawing hunger and exploitation. this flashbulb-bright fraction of his long life holds the same gravity to him as years upon years of darkness and suffering.
in all likelihood, he hasn’t even known his lover for as long as his worst memory lasted, that year sealed away to go mad from starvation and sensory deprivation, yet he still tells them this brief time has been so fundamentally and powerfully important that the weight of even that unimaginable hell is vanishingly small compared to this present he has now and the future ahead of them both.
how am i supposed to act normal about this.
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