#i need to fix that airport scene actually | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

httpiastri · 4 months

Text

this christmas – op81

ski slopes, mistletoes, and the guy you've been crushing on for years – what could be better?

genre: fluff, mutual pining, friends to lovers!au, smut (just one scene in the end, you can skip it if you want)

pairing: female leclerc!reader x oscar piastri

other characters: lando norris, charles leclerc, george russell & mundt, alex albon & lily muni he, pierre gasly & kika cerqueira gomes

warnings: mentions of alcohol, smut, not much more i think

word count: 13.8k (LMAO)

requested?: yes!!

author’s note: hello hello!! a lot to say about this one. first of all, thank you to @be-your-coffee-pot for this request, and i apologize for not getting to it earlier than now. for everyone’s knowledge, the request was sent in to me in august, so… yeah. i know it’s not exactly what you asked for, but i hope you like it anyway <3

second of all, i feel pretty happy about some of these scenes, but some… not so much. some of the fillers have parts that i really despite, but i don’t really have time to rewrite since christmas is like 2 days away lol. also, my description of the reader’s relationship to charles is not my best work, idk why he barely even appears, and i’m also not sure why logan isn’t in this...

third of all, my red divider things make my posts disappear from the tags, so i didn’t put any in this time. it looks bad, i know, but idk how to fix it. if anyone does, please let me know. :)

and lastly: i only proofread this whole thing once yesterday, but tumblr was being a bitch and i got so frustrated that i do not have the energy to proofread it again. so please, if you happen to find any spelling or grammar mistakes, i would be very thankful if you let me know. <3

hope you all enjoy !!

december 12th, 2:11pm

oscar has always loved winter.

it started in his childhood; the holiday films he'd seen as a child, the way it always seemed to magically snow right on christmas eve really started something in him. it hadn't been common for him to get snow back home in australia when he was younger but once he moved to the england, he got to experience it quite a lot. playing, fighting and just existing in the snow was like an unfilled childhood need that stayed with him until his older years.

he loved spending christmas at home with his family, but ever since he got to experience real christmases with snow, trees and cozy darkness, he craved it more than he craved lying on the beach in his swimming trunks.

so when he was asked to come along to the swiss alps for a vacation during the winter break, he packed his bags right away. he and lando just happened to book the same flight, and they both arrived at the airport around noon, getting into a cab to take them to the accommodation together.

when they arrive outside the cottage, oscar is in shock; it is enormous. he had imagined just a tiny, cute little house – not that he was sure how seven drivers and a couple of girlfriends would fit in a "tiny" house – but he was far from right.

him and lando are the second pair to arrive, just about an hour after alex and lily, who are the self-proclaimed 'hosts' as they took care of all of the booking and planning.

"we thought that one would be lando's room," alex starts, pointing down the hallway. "since it's far away from everyone else, and i'm sure we all would prefer to actually get some sleep during the night time."

"oh, shut it..." lando mumbles, shoving his friend on his shoulder.

"this one can be yours, oscar," lily says, moving in the opposite direction and gesturing to another room. then, she points at the one right next to it. "and this one has two beds, so it's for charles and his sister."

oscar's ears perk up. "y/n is going to be here?" he speaks almost took quickly, making the other three turn to look at him.

"oh, i thought you knew..." lily has an apologetic look on her face.

"i must've forgotten," oscar answers, though he's completely sure no one told him about it. there's no way he would forget you. "don't worry, it's cool."

the hosts continue to move down the hallway, and the mclaren boys are just about to follow along when lando elbows oscar's side playfully. "it's cool?"

oscar raises an eyebrow, trying to keep calm. "what?"

"the youngest leclerc coming along?" a grin takes up lando's entire face. "it's just cool? is she cool, or-"

"goodbye, lando." oscar shakes his head, darting towards alex and lily again. he takes a few deep breaths, hoping the blush he can feel spreading across his cheeks isn't too obvious.

unfortunately, lando didn't need to see the blush to know. he has caught his teammate staring at you too many times over the season, and he is fully aware of the way oscar always is suddenly interested in the conversation whenever you're the topic of discussion.

lando knows everything. and this christmas, he's going to be the best wingman the world has ever seen.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 13th, 12:53am

it's past midnight when you and charles arrive. your flight had been delayed, and then the gps had stopped working all of a sudden. and then, charles just refused to drive any faster than 30 km/h, saying it was too dangerous. as if he didn't drive cars in ten times that speed without even flinching.

you assume the whole house is sleeping already, so you and charles both sneak in as quietly as you can. someone – lily, assumably – has left you a note on the front door, guiding you to your shared room. it all goes smoothly – until charles trips over the doorframe, dropping his bag onto the floor as he tries not to fall down. the sound rattles through the hallway and you flinch, stopping in your tracks as you hope no one's woken up. but just a second later, the door opposite yours opens and a head sticks out.

oscar.

your heart softens and your shoulders relax when your gaze meets his. your soft smile is mirrored on his face, the sleepiness evident in his droopy eyes and the way strands of his bedhead point in every direction.

he looks like he's just about to say something when charles speaks up. "sorry, man! were you asleep?"

he walks up to the australian, giving him a firm handshake and a pat on the back. oscar shakes his head. "i was up reading," his huskey accent is like music to your ears. "i thought i heard some rustling out here, and then..." he nods his head toward the suitcase on the floor.

your brother laughs as he steps back, walking into the room with the "leclerc" sign. "well, i'll let you get back to that then," he says, picking up the bag from the floor and looking back one last time. "good night."

and then, you were just two.

you and oscar stand still for a moment, just watching each other. then, he opens up his arms, welcoming you into his embrace. you step forward and drape your arms around his shoulders as his wrap around your waist, and you let out a content sigh. he's warm, comfortable, and the way he squeezes your body has your mind spinning.

"it's been a while," he says when you part from the hug, a soft grin playing on his lips.

"like a month," you chuckle, crossing your arms over your chest.

"a month has never felt this long before."

you're not sure when your crush on him started forming.

as someone who's always been interested in racing, even in the series your brother isn't in, you've kept up with most results and championships – including oscar's seasons in f2 and f3. after seeing oscar, the unstoppable rookie who completely crushed his season in f3, you made sure to keep an eye at him in f2 the following year. and it's easy to say that you liked what you saw. especially in jeddah.

you'd meet him occasionally around the paddock the following year, just giving him a sweet smile and a quick greeting as if it was no big deal. but you always found yourself squealing on the inside and taking deep breaths to stay calm whenever you made eye contact with him.

then came 2023 and his debut in f1. yet again, he exceeded everyone's expectations, performing better than most drivers who'd been on the grid for years. with his permanent role on the grid, he was around more – and so were you. it wasn't uncommon for the two of you to bump into each other, around the paddock or during media days or in afterparties, and now you tried not to shy away.

talking to oscar was always simple. he was easygoing, it all seemed effortless, and you felt more relaxed. before you knew it, you could chat about racing strategies and tyre management for twenty minutes before a member of the mclaren staff interrupted you, rushing oscar away somewhere. you got to know each other slowly throughout the season, though never really going further than some friendly conversations, but you felt happy knowing that you'd taken the first step towards getting closer to him.

"so..." he starts. "you've been good?"

you nod. "yeah, a lot of studying but it's been alright. you?"

"yeah."

and there it is again, that slightly awkward silence. it's natural, you haven't seen each other since that night in abu dhabi and you're both a little unsure of where you stand after it. the tension is so thick that you could cut through it with a knife, and you kind of want to escape the whole situation. but then he speaks up.

"hey, i just wanted to-"

he's interrupted by the call of your name, and when you turn around, charles is leaning against the doorframe, eyes hazy. "are you going to sleep tonight or what?" he asks, dragging a hand through his already messy hair.

you feel a weight lift off your shoulders – and at the same time, your stomach tightens in disappointment. you nod at your brother, looking back at oscar to give him a wave and a "sleep well", before joining charles in your shared room.

oscar stands still in the corridor for a moment, before sighing and slapping himself in his mind for being so awkward and messing up this opportunity. but on the other side of the door, you stand still too as you watch your brother jump onto his bed, taking a deep breath to clear your mind.

you're just thankful the room is so dark that he can't see your ever-reddening cheeks.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 13th, 10:24am

despite the never-ending pitter-patter of your heart as you went to bed last night, you could fall asleep quite quickly, seeing as you were utterly exhausted from traveling. breakfast this morning feels like you and charles have just been reunited with your childhood friends after being kidnapped for years; not like you had just gone a few weeks without seeing each other. everyone runs around hugging, chatting about how much they've missed each other and how great this trip will be.

"did you get new highlights?" kika asks you, sliding into the seat next to you by the long table as you stuff a piece of bread into your mouth. the room is a combination of a kitchen and a dining hall, with a big cooking area and a glass wall giving the dining area a beautiful view of the mountains outside. in the middle stands a long table with enough seats for all of you, filled with fresh pastries and other breakfast goods to celebrate the first day of the trip. "or is it just the light?"

"just the light," you answer, shooting her a smile as you pick up your cup of coffee.

"oh my god, i almost forgot to ask you," lily starts and places her elbows on the table, her face resting in her hands. "what happened to that guy from raya you were talking to? did you end up going out?"

oscar is sitting a few seats down the table, pretending to be immersed in a conversation with some of the other drivers about the last few races of the season, while actually just doing his best to listen in on the conversation you're having. when he hears alex's girlfriend mention raya, his ears perk up and his breath gets caught in his throat. a million thoughts instantly crash into his mind.

she's seeing someone? how could i not know this? she's on raya? is she actively looking for a partner? who is this guy they're talking about?

he coughs and tries to act normal, shaking off the uncomfortable feeling passing through his body. he soon hears the sweet sound of your wholehearted laughter, and he almost smiles instinctively at it, before he can remind himself that lando's story about las vegas isn't exactly a smiley matter. "you're not going to believe this, i have the best story," you say in-between fits of giggles. "i met up with him for some drinks, and guess what he said? that he has a foot fetish and has dreamed about me caressing his face with my feet." all of the girls squeal and explode with laughter, making some of the boys flinch and look over to see what all the commotion is about. "so, safe to say, we never met up again. and i haven't wanted to go out with anyone else from there, either. i have a feeling they're all just creeps."

"hey, don't lose hope!" kika says while elbowing your side, but her actions are too soft, forcing you to fold over as an uncomfortable feeling spreads through your body. however, a burst of laughter spills past your lips. kika immediately holds her arm back, laughing along. "crap, i'm sorry! i totally forgot how ticklish you are."

you shake your head, your hand landing on her shoulder. "no worries," you tell her. "but, i haven't lost hope. i just don't think my soulmate is lurking around on raya with the foot fetishists."

oscar feels his shoulders relax again, feeling alright with focusing back on the boys' conversation now that he knows you in fact aren't seeing anyone.

maybe he has a shot, after all. as long as he doesn't talk too much about your feet.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 14th, 3:09pm

lando thinks he's so smart.

when he tells oscar to go ask if you'd like to have some of the gingerbread cookies he's bought, it's the third time today he has forced some kind of interaction between the two of you. he is sure that the more time that the two of you spend with each other, the more likely you will be to stop pining and just confess already.

but this time, oscar glares at the brit. "why don't you ask her yourself?"

"because you know what room she's in," lando hums back, reaching into the cupboard with some groceries. "i keep getting lost, the house is too big. plus, i'm busy." he motions to the half-empty grocery bag on the counter.

oscar lets out a sigh, but nods. "how can you memorize all tracks on the calendar, but you get lost in a cabin?" he asks rhetorically, whilst turning around and making his way down the hallway towards your room.

it's not that oscar doesn't enjoy 'accidentally' being forced into talking to you; it's the extreme lack of discretion lando is showing that makes him annoyed. it makes oscar seem like he's the one coming up with silly excuses to talk to you, and he doesn't like how it makes him look. he'd rather be seen as chill, laidback, someone who doesn't force things. he doesn't want you to catch on too early and reject him.

your voice echoes a 'come in' when he knocks on the door to your bedroom, and he pushes the door open just a little to reveal you sitting on the bed, a thick blanket wrapped over your shoulders. a grin spreads across your lips when you make eye contact with him. "hi," you say, placing the book you were reading on the bedside table.

"hey," he answers, stepping inside the room. "i... lando bought some gingerbread cookies, and we were going to make some hot chocolate, and..." his voice trails off as his eyes wander down your body, taking in the christmas sweater you're wearing and the fuzzy socks covering your feet. he smiles absentmindedly at the sight, loving how cozy you seem, and wishing he was sitting right there with you, sharing the blanket.

you nod, understanding him despite his lack of words. "i'll be right there."

oscar gives you a thumbs up – one he then facepalms himself for when he's left your room – before moving towards the kitchen again. but when he walks into it, he sees something hanging from a lamp. he stops in his tracks. "no way..."

festive cookies aren't the only thing lando bought when he went to the local supermarket. he also got the ultimate tool for securing his master plan – a mistletoe.

he doesn't know how, but he's planning to make sure you and oscar meet underneath it at least once before the holidays are over. there's no way you'll both be able to avoid it all week.

of course, lando isn't the only one rooting for the two of you. most of the other drivers know too – how can they not notice the glances you share and the way you light up when someone mentions the other in a conversation? – and most of them are in on his plans. charles is probably the only one in the house who's still oblivious to your and oscar's pining, and lando thinks that he might interfere with the matchmaking if he figures something out, so the brit keeps quiet.

oscar wants to pull the mistletoe down, rip it apart and throw it in the trash, but he refrains. something inside him tells him this might actually work out in his favor – and he decides to trust his gut this time.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 15th, 2:01am

sleeping can be tricky, especially when your brother is snoring loudly in a bed just a few meters away from you.

who even decided to put him and you in the same room?

when you've been tossing and turning to no avail for about an hour, you decide it's time to do something, anything, to hopefully get a little tired again. a glass of warm milk never hurt anyone, did it?

you make your way to the kitchen, pour yourself a glass of milk and put it in the microwave, before turning to look through the windows.

the view of the mountains is breathtaking. there is an untouched, thick layer of snow covering the area, with new flakes still falling. the sun set long ago, but the snow makes it all seem light. the lake below you is just barely visible by now, almost completely coated in snow.

it's completely serene, and you find yourself getting lost in the scenery. however, you're shaken out of your trance when you hear steps behind you. when you turn around, your eyes find someone standing just a few meters away, barely visible in the dark.

you jump in your place and clutch your chest in shock, not expecting anyone else to be up at this hour. when the person steps into the light of the little kitchen lap you had turned on, you relax instantly. "holy shit, oscar," you breathe. "you nearly scared me to death."

"i'm sorry," the australian chuckles. "i didn't know how to approach you without scaring you..."

"what even are you doing up?" you question, crossing your arms over your chest as you lean back against the counter.

"i was just reading in my bed when i heard your door opening, and then footsteps, so..." he trails off when his eyes wander out towards the living room, seemingly just as taken by the sight as you were just moments ago. "i wanted to make sure everything was okay."

"well, everything is okay, so..."

there's some kind of awkwardness hanging in the air. it's not only because of the obvious uncertainty of what to say or do in this situation; it has more to do with the fact that this isn't the first time that the two of you have found yourselves this close with this much tension, all alone at night. sure, it's a lot like the night of your arrival here, but another memory springs to your mind, too.

just under a month ago, following the after-party in abu dhabi, oscar had accompanied you back to the hotel when you started getting too tipsy to keep yourself up on the dance floor. your brother had been nowhere in sight, so oscar took it upon himself to help you out, draping an arm across your waist before walking you all the way to your hotel room. and when you'd arrived in the dimly lit corridor, you'd turned up towards him to thank him, accidentally brushing your nose against his as you did. both of you had broken out in giggles, neither especially sober, but you stayed close – and when the laughter settled, you just watched each other. when his gaze had flickered between your eyes and lips, your breath hitched in your throat, the anticipation growing stronger. you had leaned in even closer, your eyes fluttering closed-

but just as your lips were about to brush his, you had been interrupted. a door a few meters away had opened and the two of you jumped apart, watching as your brother stepped out and exclaimed that he had been wondering where you ended up. oscar had wished you both a good night before hurrying off, the embarrassment of almost getting caught by his friend being too much for him to handle.

you just hoped oscar had been too drunk to remember it, because otherwise, things were bound to get quite awkward. you didn't want him to act differently around you just because you have feelings for him.

thankfully, he hasn't said or done anything to make you think he does remember it.

as you're thinking back to that night in abu dhabi, you nearly get your second heart attack when the microwave goes off with a loud beep. you scramble to turn it off and take out your milk, almost burning yourself on the hot glass in the meantime.

oscar watches you with an amused grin before he forces his gaze off you, eyes wandering over to the windows again. "quite the view, huh?"

you look over your shoulder at the blanketed mountains. "yeah, it's breathtaking," you reply, before growing quiet.

he pauses for a moment, too. "there's something magical about this place. makes everything seem simpler, quieter..."

you nod. "yeah, it does."

something about the moment makes you realize that maybe, just maybe, the awkwardness between you and oscar isn't as insurmountable as you once thought it would be. the shared quietude is comfortable, and you feel at ease. he hasn't brought up abu dhabi – he probably won't, you feel – and maybe you could both just put it behind you and focus on enjoying your trip.

when you eventually get back in your bed, it's with the same kind of pitter-patter of your heart as when you and charles arrived in the cabin a few days ago. needless to say, the glass of warm milk probably isn't going to help.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 16th, 9:02pm

the mistletoe has moved.

when you first noticed it the other day, it was hanging from a kitchen lamp. and now, it's in the doorframe leading into the living room.

you're planning on avoiding it at all costs, not wanting to slip up and accidentally get under it with the wrong person. or the right one, for that matter. the awkwardness of kissing your crush in front of friends and family would be too much to handle.

some others seem to have the exact opposite attitude towards the decoration, though. kika and pierre can be found by it about ten times per day, and alex and lily have no issues sharing a few kisses whenever they "accidentally" pass it.

no matter what, lando has a mischievous grin whenever anyone mentions it, or even walks near it.

his grin stays on when he decides to let himself be in charge of the outing you all have to the christmas tree farm nearby. the farm is too big and would take too long if everyone was going to look at every tree, so lando divides everyone into groups of two based on who they're standing next to as you walk past the gates.

what a coincidence that you're standing right next to oscar when he says this.

lando ushers the two of you off to the rows with quite tall, pre-decorated trees. "so," oscar starts as you both stop in front of a tree with white lights and ornaments hung all over it. "what do you think about this one?"

"well, it's lovely," you say, scanning it thoroughly. "but isn't the true test how well it fits into the living room?"

he nods, despite his confusion, and he shoots a curious glance your way. "and how do we determine that?"

with a playful grin, you hold up an imaginary measuring tape, pretending to size up the tree with a critical eye. "i'm trying to figure out if it fits this corner best, or..."

he follows your gaze, realizing the tease in your words. "i think maybe it's better in the other corner," he hums and points to the side as you turn a little.

"exactly."

lando never inserted himself into a group; he's too focused on watching the two of you share a lighthearted laugh at the situation. though his mistletoe back in the cabin might still have a trick or two up its metaphorical sleeve, he is already proud of his matchmaking antics.

and, he is sure you'll both crack. it is just a matter of time.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 17th, 1:43pm

"i never thought skiing would be this hard," you groan as you step into a cottage, the warmth enveloping you and beginning to defrost you instantly.

oscar laughs at the exasperated tone in your voice. "this was just the kids' slope, you do remember that, right?" you stick your tongue out at him, slumping down on a bench by a table. "you just wait before you do some real skiing..."

you had never skied before today. oscar had, but he said it was too long ago and that he needed an easy start. plus, he couldn't just leave you all alone in the children's slope without an instructor.

you'd fallen over at least five times, despite the fact that the slope was practically flat. thankfully, oscar promised to buy you some hot chocolate in a cottage café to cheer you up.

when he comes back from the cashier carrying two big, steaming cups of chocolate, you've regained most of the feeling in your fingers again. the hot piece of ceramic almost burns your skin, but you think it's worth it; you need the sugar and you need it now.

"you know what the worst thing is?" you ask, bringing the cup up to your face with both hands. you start sipping on the drink and oscar glances at you with a questioning look as he slips down next to you on the bench. "carrying those goddamn skis with me. not only does it suck to actually ski, but dragging them all the way from the rental shop…"

"if it's that much of a bother, i can carry them for you."

"and carry your own too?" you scoff, watching him flinch as he burns his tongue on the drink. "you're not that strong."

he lets out a groan. "you're not even strong enough to carry your own, so you shouldn't say anything."

"i can carry them!" you protest, shooting him a glare. "i just don't want to. two very different things."

you both go silent momentarily, too busy focusing on how good it feels to no longer be frozen to the marrow. the cabin is filled with people; kids running in circles around the tables, soon to be tired again after the initial sugar shock from their afternoon snack; a group of older ladies gossiping and enjoying getting some rest just like you; and some young adults in the far corner are already busy dancing on the tables with their after-ski drinks in their hands.

"you know what? i changed my mind," you tell him, scooting away from him a little and placing your skiing boot on the bench. "these things. they're the worst."

you start to unclasp the boot, sighing in relief as you finally tug the shoe off your foot, throwing it onto the floor. you've only worn it for about an hour, but you can already feel the bruises beginning to form. you're just about to reach down to undo the other boot, too, when oscar reaches towards your foot.

your eyebrows shoot up as he takes it in his hands, pulling the foot into his lap. and then, his fingers begin to wander up and down your foot and ankle, giving you soft squeezes and pressing down on the spaces where he thinks the boot has squeezed you the most. you hold back a pleasured sound, seeing as it would sound way too inappropriate right now, but oscar subconsciously takes note of how you're getting flushed because he soon looks up at your face.

"is this okay?"

you swallow down the lump in your throat, nodding quickly. "y-yeah… just don't tickle me..."

when did things get so intimate? mere minutes ago, you couldn't think about anything other than how you were so cold your nose was going to fall off. but now, you can't stop your eyes from following his long, sleek fingers, thinking about how good they feel and imagining how good they would feel somewhere else-

"give me your other foot."

you're thankful that he interrupts your train of thought before your mind wanders too far.

compose yourself, woman.

"don't tell me you have a foot fetish, too," you tease, turning around so that you can place your other foot on the bench too. he lets out a hearty laugh, swiftly undoing your other boot before letting it drop to the ground.

"oh, shut it. do you want a massage or not?"

you shoot him pout, giving his shoulder a thankful pat before taking your cup in your hands again. you focus on the drink, watching how the steam rises and the marshmallows melt. you can't look over at him anymore, scared of your cheeks growing too red and your face giving away your feelings.

the bell by the door rings behind you, and you look towards it out of habit. and in comes alex, george, lily and carmen, laughing and chatting loudly about the black slope they just went down. oscar doesn't seem to notice, but you hastily pull your feet from his lap, sitting down properly – unfortunately making eye contact with alex as you do. he leans forward to lily, whispering something in her ear, and you watch as her eyes dart to you and a smirk grows on her lips.

shit.

the clicking of her boots against the stone floor meets your ears and oscar turns his head at the sound, suddenly realizing why you withdrew from him. "hey there," lily cheers, each of her hands landing your and oscar's shoulders. "what have you been up to?"

your eyes meet his briefly, before looking back up at lily. "just... drinking some chocolate..."

"oh, no skiing?"

"she crashed too much, i couldn't keep her out there and let her continue to embarrass me all day," oscar tells her and you shove his shoulder.

"do you mind if we join you guys?" george asks, coming around the table and not even giving you a second to think about it before he sets two cups of chocolate down on the table. the grin he's wearing only tells you one thing: alex told him already. carmen's lips show off a matching set.

"not at all..."

‎‎ ‎‎

december 18th, 10:32am

you huff as you slump down on the living room couch, your mood not even getting brought up by watching the newly installed christmas tree in front of you. you hadn't even been out skiing that much yesterday, yet every single inch of your body aches. not only do you have big, blue bruises on both of your hips due to the many times you've fallen onto the hardly packed snow, but every muscle screams with pain as you drape a blanket over your body. needless to say, you decided to stay at home today instead of heading out with the others for another round.

"are you sure you don't wanna come along?" kika asks as she enters the room, her pretty pink sunglasses perched at the top of her nose. the pout on her lips almost makes you doubt staying in, but when you move to sit up more straight again, you know you've made the right decision.

you nod, giving her a weak smile. "yeah, sorry."

"but oscar promised to come along?"

you freeze, your cheeks growing red as you hear her words.

did she know? about your feelings for him? did the others already tell her about the incident in the cottage yesterday? did they really interpret the situation that way?

"w-what?"

"oh," she chuckles at your reaction. "i just meant that he was so bad yesterday, so i thought that seeing him fall over a couple of times would be worth the pain."

"we're gonna trick him into going down a black slope with us," says pierre who walks into the room, arms lacing around his girlfriend from behind. "we'll send some clips."

you let out a breath of relief as they leave the room. maybe they don't know. maybe your secret will stay secret for a little longer.

the group leaves in pairs or trios and you tell them all goodbye from your place underneath the many blankets. everyone has left by now except for oscar, which confounds you since the others seemed to have so many plans for him. your confusion only grows when he steps into the living room without any skiing gear on, just wearing an oversized, cozy hoodie and a pair of sweats.

"why aren't you out with the others?" you question, your eyebrows raised at him.

"well," he sighs, flopping down next to you on the couch. "i can't find my helmet." when you shoot him a doubting look, he raises his hands defensively. "what?"

"i don't believe it."

"you don't have to, but it's the truth."

"how do you even lose a helmet? it's so big?" you scoff, crossing your arms over your chest. "i assumed you were used to keeping track of where your helmet is since if you don't have your helmet with you for races, then you can't race."

"i swear i put it on the drawer by the front door like half an hour ago. i don't understand what could've happened."

you have to give it to him; he is really doing his best to cover this up. you find it pretty obvious that he just doesn't want to ski because of what the others were planning to do to him. but maybe if kika and pierre hadn't spilled their plans already, you would've believed him.

"but hey," he says, bringing you out of your thoughts. "don't feel obligated to include me in whatever you were going to do here now that you finally have the house to yourself." he pushes himself off the couch, standing up and shooting you one last smile before turning to walk away. "i'll let you have some peace."

he takes a couple of steps towards the bedrooms, but then you get the idea. "oscar." he stops in his tracks, throwing a glance back at you. "i was planning on doing some baking, and…" you shuffle slightly in your seat. "it wouldn't hurt to have an extra helping hand."

"i'm a horrible baker, though."

"and i'm the best baker ever, so i guess we cancel each other out." you stand up from your seat, keeping the blanket wrapped around your shoulders as you make your way toward the kitchen. "let's go make some mediocre cookies!"

oscar shakes his head, grinning to himself as he follows behind you. this was definitely not what he had planned, but he sure is liking the way it's going.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 18th, 8:14pm

oscar had not been kidding when he said he sucked at baking.

he put in twice the needed amount of flour, and only half of the sugar. and as if that wasn't enough, of course the mistletoe had moved to the kitchen, making the whole situation quite uncomfortable as you both had to take strange routes while navigating through the kitchen to avoid it. not even your baking skills could save the cookies.

as an apology, oscar promised to buy some fancy gingerbread cookies tonight at the christmas market you'd all planned to go to in a nearby city. he was strongly set on going through with his promise, despite how many times you told him that it was alright and that they wouldn't taste as good as homemade ones anyway.

you've all been at the market for almost two hours now, but it feels like you've only gone about ten meters. your friends, mainly lando, george and alex, are stopping at every single shop and stand, making sure to check out all products and buying at least one thing in every store, no matter how long the line to the cash register is.

"lando-" you groan at the sight of the brit running into yet another store; this time, a shop filled with christmassy outfits for dogs. "he doesn't even have a pet…"

kika is grinning next to you, shaking her head. "he told me earlier today that he wanted to buy a present for roscoe if he got the chance," she says as most of the group joins lando. "makes more sense than when he bought that screwdriver thirty minutes ago just because it was green."

"the power of 'christmas colors', apparently," you hear oscar's voice from behind you, and you turn back to meet his eyes.

"well, i'm not surprised. just disappointed. and cold, and tired of standing still."

oscar points his head to the side, up the street. "i think i saw a stand a little further up that sells cookies, maybe they have some gingerbread ones."

you nod, a small smile entering your lips. "let's go check it out, then. kika, do you wanna come-"

you're cut off by the sound of pierre calling for his girlfriend, holding up a reindeer costume and blabbering on about how it would be perfect for her cousin's dog. "sorry guys," kika says before strutting off to her boyfriend.

you both shrug before walking down the street towards the stand oscar had spotted. the sugary scent of cookies meets your nose from far away, and your mouth waters at the mere thought of the sweets. when you arrive, a sweet old lady sitting behind the stand greets you and tells you all about the different cookies she's baked. gingerbread, sugar cookies with little candy canes, snowball cookies, and various traditional swiss cookies.

"would you like to have a taste, dears?" the lady asks, pointing her hand to a plate with samples. you and oscar take a gingerbread cookie each, popping it into your mouths.

"oh yeah, this is lovely," he says, looking like he's savoring every crumb.

"much better than ours," you answer, nudging his shoulder with yours. he gasps and places a hand on his chest, feigning offense.

you turn your attention back to the lady and telling her you'd love to buy a little box of cookies from her. oscar pays for them and she wraps the box in some pretty gift paper, handing it to you before you continue making your way down the street. the house walls and all trees are wrapped in christmas lights, some blinking in random colors and some with a soft glow of an elegant white. the streets are filled with people wearing santa hats, ugly christmas sweaters, and scarves so big half of their faces are covered. there's not a single frown in sight, the happiness and love so obvious you can almost see little hearts flowing above everyone's heads.

you glance into a couple of different stores as you stroll, stopping occasionally to check something out. when you reach a stand with different kinds of jewelry, something catches your eye: a golden necklace with a heart-shaped charm hanging from it. you carefully pick it up, your heart fluttering in your chest as you inspect it.

and when you look up at oscar from the necklace in your hands, he feels like the air is stolen from his lungs. your eyes are twinkling with happiness, outshining all lights in the entire christmas market. the excited smile on your lips is contagious, and suddenly, it's like the world around you has stopped and everyone else has disappeared. you're both just grinning at each other like two lovestruck fools, nothing in either of your minds other than the person in front of you. the sight of your rosy cheeks from the cold makes the butterflies in his stomach multiply by the second.

wow, he really is totally and fully whipped.

"really pretty," he finally gets out, unsure if he's talking about the necklace or the woman standing before him.

"pretty? it's gorgeous," you answer, eyes flickering back to the jewelry in your hand. "i adore it. how much is it?"

just as the guy in the booth is about to answer, you feel someone grab your free hand. "come on guys, they're closing down soon and we still have a bunch of shops to visit!" kika is pulling you along so fast you barely have time to put the necklace down.

lily notices the disappointment on your face and pats your shoulder. "we'll come back here sometime before christmas, don't worry."

lando shows you the christmas tree costume he bought as you wander down the market again, but oscar suddenly stops. "guys, i forgot my phone back at the cookie stand. keep walking, i'll catch up with you," he says, pointing behind him with his thumb and disappearing before anyone can say anything.

it's a good excuse, but you clearly see the outline of his phone in his back pocket as he hurries down the street.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 19th, 9:22pm

the days roll on with a gentle rhythm of shared glances and fleeting touches between you and oscar. unbeknownst to both of you, lando, ever the persistent wingman, continues his behind-the-scenes matchmaking efforts.

in some magical way, lando manages to get you and oscar paired up for pretty much anything. board game night? you and oscar just happen to get the exact role cards that make you teammates. time for some ornament decorating? you and oscar are the only ones who don't get a seat on the couch, having to sit on the floor together and share all your materials.

funnily enough, it never gets awkward between the two of you. even when you are left all alone, there is always something to talk about, some dumb thing lando has done that you can tease him about behind his back, or something you are curious about when it comes to his racing career so far. somehow, being with oscar started feeling comfortable, natural, unforced.

one specific night, alex comes up with the idea of playing card games, to which only a few of you are actually interested. some plan on going to bed early so they can hit the slopes first thing in the morning, while others just aren't in the mood. oscar said he would just finish wrapping some christmas presents and join you all later, and you catch yourself feeling disappointed that he's not on the couch next to you, helping you win (or taunting you to make you lose). it surprises you how much you're drawn to him, how it feels like something is missing when he isn't around, when you didn't feel this way just a few days ago.

you try to shake the feeling off, but it's still lingering even as you start playing with your friends. eventually, you excuse yourself to get a glass of water from the kitchen to take your mind off things. but-

just as you round the corner going into the kitchen, your head crashes into something hard. you shriek as you stumble, hands coming up to grab the person in front of you as you lose your balance, but a pair of hands wrap around your back, holding you up. when you look up, you're met with oscar's big brown eyes blinking down at you. "you okay there?"

you let out a relieved breath, nodding at him. "yeah, thanks to you. what were you doing coming around the corner that fast, though?"

he chuckles. "what were you doing not looking where you're going?"

"touché."

your hands are still holding on to the front of his hoodie, and you're about to let go of him and walk away when you notice something in the upper periphery of your vision. something is hanging above you. but, it can't be-

of course it is.

the mistletoe.

oscar looks up just as you do, jaw dropping slightly. "oh..."

"indeed..."

you both keep your vision pointed up, as if the mistletoe would disappear if you just keep on staring at it. oscar's hands slowly begin to slide off your back, and he's hoping you'll both just pretend like none of this ever happened. it would be the least awkward thing to do.

"maybe-" his breath hitches in his throat when you speak up. his gaze is on you again, but you're still looking at the plant. "maybe we should do it. just... for the christmas spirit, you know. i love christmas."

you don't even know what you're blabbering on about. you're trying to improvise a reason to kiss your brother's colleague that makes at least a little sense, but you're completely lost. you realize how dumb you sound, and you expect to see him staring at you like you actually are insane when you look back at him.

but what you don't know is that he thinks it's the best idea ever. he is just as into it as you are, if not more. he doesn't look at you like you're crazy; he's just dumbfounded, blinking at you as he tries to understand what's happening. did the girl he likes really just say they should kiss? because she loves christmas?

oscar gulps, but something in him gives him the courage to nod. "i mean," he starts, voice weak. "what's the harm? it's just... tradition."

"right. yeah, that's exactly what i was thinking."

the tension is higher than ever as your faces are already just inches apart. you aren't sure who should take the initiative and lean in, but before you can overthink it, you're both doing it subconsciously. your noses brush against each other briefly and a little giggle escapes past your lips, and this whole situation feels very familiar. this time, oscar can't hold back anymore, so he closes the gap and presses his mouth to yours.

the kiss is quick, not much longer than a peck, but something changes inside you. when you didn't know what it felt like to kiss oscar, you didn't think too much about it. but now that you have felt his lips on yours, you crave it.

he seems to feel the same way, because when you kiss him again, he's pressing against you instantly. your hands move from his chest to his shoulders as your lips move in sync, tilting your head to get a better angle. oscar's touch travels up and down your sides, fingers grazing the bare skin of your stomach when your sweater lifts.

oscar takes your bottom lip in between his teeth and you let out a hum, making him grin into the kiss. his tongue swipes between your lips before slipping into your mouth, exploring it for the first, but hopefully not last, time. you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer, already growing hot as his hands move down to your butt.

kissing oscar is so easy, so comfortable. it's like you've done it so many times before, like it's what you were made to do.

you're so relaxed and so focused on the kiss that you don't even hear lando's footsteps right next to you, nor his snicker from a few meters away as he picks up his phone to snap a couple of pictures. you don't even hear him strutting away to the living room, nor his loud proclamation to the group: mission complete.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 23rd, 8:35am

the rest of the days leading up to christmas consist of a lot of sneaking around.

the days are filled with secretive kisses when you're sure no one is watching, fleeting pecks or longer liplocks, hurriedly parting and acting like nothing happened when you hear approaching footsteps. they're filled with soft brushes as you pass each other in hallways, little squeezes of your waist or his arm when someone is around, conveying more than anyone could guess. and they're filled with giant, knowing smiles matching on your lips, with longing gazes and sly winks across the dinner table.

now, his hand is warm in yours despite the freezing temperatures of the air. when you said you forgot your mittens in the cabin, oscar had just smiled, taking off one of his own to give it to you. and to heat your other hand, he intertwined his fingers with yours, his thumb stroking the back of your hand as you walked.

you'd slipped out of the house before anyone else had woken up, wishing for a peaceful moment for yourselves. the two of you haven't really had time to properly talk ever since your moment under the mistletoe, and even though it wasn't outspoken, you both knew there were things to be discussed.

you're halfway around the lake when he finally touches on the subject. "so..." he starts, nudging your shoulder with his. "you like me, huh?"

you snicker. "i have for quite some time now, actually."

his hand squeezes yours. "tell me about it."

and when he asks, you tell.

you tell him about seeing him all those years ago, thinking that he was just a pretty face, a good driver, and not much else. you tell him about getting to know him more and more in the last two years and realizing that shit, he's so much more than that. you tell him about the butterflies, about the sneaky glances, about falling for him.

and then, he tells you his side.

he tells you about knowing of you from your first appearances in the f1 paddock, the curiosity in him growing for every picture of you and charles he saw. he tells you about wanting to approach you but not knowing how, not wanting to come off too strong or clingy. he tells you about how nothing has ever been more disappointing to him than charles's timing back in abu dhabi. then, he tells you about how his fingers had secretly been crossed all trip, hoping that lando's attempts to pair the two of you up wouldn't fall through.

you share giggles and smiles as you tell your stories, and it all feels so natural even though it's so new. and you think to yourself that maybe, this won't be so hard to get used to.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 23rd, 5:46pm

"how are things going with oscar?"

lily's voice makes your heart skip a beat. you had just walked into the kitchen to grab a gingerbread cookie, not expecting her to be doing the dishes this late in the evening – and especially not expecting her to ask you something like that. "what do you mean?" you ask back, trying to stay composed as you strut over to the cupboard, reaching into it for the box of cookies.

"are you going to be like... boyfriend and girlfriend now?"

the box slips out of your hands and crashes to the floor before you can catch it again. did you hear her correctly? your eyebrows shoot up and your mouth hangs open as you look at her again. she scoffs.

"oh please, the two of you aren't exactly sneaky," she says, looking back into the sink. "you know, lando took pictures of you under the mistletoe. and we all saw you coming back from your little trip to the lake earlier today."

"oh my god." you cover your face with your hands, letting out a groan. "oh my god. no way."

lily laughs, washing the last few plates under the tap before placing them on the side to drain. "don't worry, we were all in on it."

"and what does that mean?!"

"lando had a plan." of course he did. "we all agreed to help him out. except charles, he's still oblivious."

"what kind of plan?"

"well, just small things here and there, really." she wipes her hands on a towel before turning around and leaning against the counter. "hiding oscar's helmet so he'd have to stay here with you instead of skiing with us. walking really slowly in the market so you'd both get so tired of us that you'd stroll off alone. and the mistletoe, but that's obvious..."

as lily spills the details of lando's plan, you feel a mix of embarrassment and surprise, along with a hint of amusement. you're suddenly very aware of the collaboration that has taken place behind the scenes, and you take a deep breath as you slowly lower your hands from your face.

"so... lando really orchestrated all of this?" you exclaim, still trying to process the fact that your friends have been actively working to bring you and oscar closer together.

lily chuckles, nodding. "yes, and he's been loving every moment of it. we all figured you two needed a little push."

you shake your head in disbelief, a smile playing on your lips despite the initial shock. "what's the endgame here? is lando secretly a matchmaker or something?"

"he wishes," she says with a smirk. "i think he just enjoys playing cupid when he can." she shrugs, crossing her arms over her chest. "but hey, it worked out well, didn't it? you and oscar seem pretty cozy."

"yeah, i guess..." the mention of oscar brings a blush to your cheeks. "i just didn't expect to have a whole team of co-conspirators."

lily laughs, stepping forward to pat your shoulder. "it's all in good fun. besides, it's about time something happened between you two." you nod in agreement, smiling at her. "now, spill. how are you feeling about all of this? is he boyfriend material?"

you hesitate for a moment, contemplating your newfound dynamic with oscar. a smile tugs at the corners of your lips. "yeah, maybe. we're figuring it out, i guess. it's all been... surprisingly nice."

she grins, satisfied with your response. "well, then, i'd say lando's plan was a success." she backs away, walking towards the kitchen exit. "just enjoy it, okay? and don't be too mad at us. we just wanted to see you both happy."

you nod and watch as she leaves, still processing the directed events that have led up to this moment. as you're left alone, you can't help but smile to yourself at the thought of everything that's happened – and everything that's yet to come.

suddenly, for the first time in your life, you feel thankful for something lando has done. you'll have to remember to thank him later.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 24th, 10:23pm

just a few hours ago, charles was challenged to a snowball fight with the rest of the twitch quartet. and how could he ever say no to them?

for you to fall asleep before he got back would just be stupid, because there's no way he will be able to keep quiet when he eventually he crashes into the room post-fight. so instead, you sit against the headboard of your bed, a thick blanket draped over your body and a good book in your hands as you enjoy the tranquility of the last few moments of christmas eve.

there's a soft knock on the door, one so low you could've just as well missed it. "come in," you call out, looking up from your book as the door creaks open. surprise paints your face as oscar enters the room, his eyes sparkling with the thrill of carrying out a secret mission.

in his hands, oscar holds a beautifully wrapped box, adorned with a crimson bow. "merry christmas."

"oscar, what are you up to?" you ask, laughter dancing in your eyes.

"giving you your present." he sits at your feet, holding out the present to you.

you place your book beside you on the bed, accepting the gift with a curious smile. you unwrap the present, and as you remove the lid of the box and your eyes are met with a necklace, your breath hitches in your throat.

the heart-shaped pendant is familiar – it's the exact necklace you'd eyed in the christmas market. you look up at oscar, a myriad of emotions playing on your face. "i didn't forget my phone," he admits, a hint of vulnerability in his gaze. "i just really wanted to get it for you."

speechless, you delicately trace the edges of the pendant with your fingers. "oscar, i..."

"it's a christmas gift, but you can wear it whenever you want."

you hold the necklace up to him. "like now?"

he nods and takes it from you as you turn around, brushing away your hair so that he can secure the chain around your neck. when you turn back, you catch the glint of admiration in his eyes. "you look beautiful."

you hold the pendant between your thumb and pointer finger, a silent acknowledgment of the connection formed by the gift. "it's perfect, oscar. thank you." you tilt your head, smiling at him. "you're not getting your gift until tomorrow, though."

"just seeing you with this necklace is enough of a present for me. i don't need anything else."

‎‎ ‎‎‎

december 25th, 6:04pm

christmas day morning is for gift exchanges. you all sit around the tree in the living room, giving out presents and sharing the background stories behind the silly little things you've bought each other. you receive a ton of random objects that people had bought that day in the christmas market; objects they bought just to irritate you and oscar. now that you know, you find it quite funny – and seeing charles's confused face as you unwrapped a green screwdriver from lando is definitely one of your highlights of the day.

your present to oscar is, obviously, better planned than most other gifts. beneath the wrapper is a box titled "skiing survival kit" written in big, red letters. in it lies a pair of thick socks (with a note reading "to protect your feet from those horrible boots"), a bag of hot chocolate mix ("for moments when skiing feels too challenging; a little warmth to make everything better"), a bottle of peppermint-scented massaging oil ("you never know when you find yourself in need of a massage..."), and a handwritten letter about how you enjoyed your stay in the cottage much more than the actual skiing and a promise to stay in and warm his chair for him next time he's out "skiing".

then, midday rolls around. the chefs of the group, also known as the few people who don't burn everything they attempt to cook, take their time to make a good dinner. in the meantime, the rest of you prepare some games and competitions, including a trivia, a snow fort building competition, and a gingerbread house-decorating contest that ended in lando letting his competitiveness get the best of him. safe to say that no other gingerbread houses were still standing, other than lando's, meaning the brit won by default. his price: getting thrown in the snow in just his pyjamas.

and the evening? it's dedicated to a movie marathon, as per russell family traditions.

it has all been planned into the finest detail; the couch in the living room is decorated with blankets and pillows, nearly every bowl in the house is filled to the brim with snacks, and mattresses and pillows on the floor for those who don't fit on the couch. everyone was included of the vote of what movie you were going to see, though you had a feeling george had cheated when you were told the 'home alone' series won. especially since it's the one series he hasn't been able to stop talking about wanting to watch all trip.

you're settled on the edge of the couch, a blanket wrapped over your shoulders and your knees pulled up to your chest. you're laughing along with something kika has said from right next to you when you hear a beep from the kitchen, indicating that the last bag of popcorn was ready. you assumed lando would be getting up to fetch it, seeing as he was the one who insisted you needed one more bag, but when your eyes find him, he sits very contently and comfortably a few seats away. he looks back at you, eyebrows rising as you make eye contact.

"hey, you're the closest to the kitchen," he says, nodding his head in your direction. "go get them."

he isn't wrong, but he still makes no sense. "no way, norris."

he pouts. "please, be quick so we can start the movie already."

"you suck."

he sticks out his tongue at you but you've already walked off. when you return, a new bowl filled with popcorn in your arms, you aren't exactly surprised to see lando in the seat that used to be yours. you shoot him a glare, to which he answers, "i could barely see the tv from where i was sitting!"

"oh, but you think i'll be able to?" you scoff at the way he shrugs his shoulders, seemingly to say that it's now none of his business. and when you look at his old seat, you are even less surprised to see who's sitting right next to it.

oscar is looking up at you, confusion mixing into his features. he's been scrolling on his phone for the last few minutes and didn't notice when his teammate left him alone.

neither of you complain when you slip into lando's old spot, though. oscar immediately grabs the blanket in his lap and drapes it over you too. you shuffle closer to him as the movie turns on, the soft fabric of his pyjama pants brushing against yours. the bowl of popcorn is propped up on your lap, and when you reach into it to grab a handful, it touches something warm. you rip your eyes from the tv to see your hand brushing against oscar's. of course.

considering the other touches and kisses you've shared these last few days, it's not even a very intimate action. and yet, something about it leaves both of you giggling.

"so many clichés this trip, huh?" he says, eyes flickering between your hands and your face.

instead of answering, you grab his hand in yours. your fingers slip in between his easily, as they've done so many times these last few days, but you pull your hands underneath the blanket to keep them out of sight from everyone else.

it's a good movie, but it's easy for you to zone out when you feel oscar's hand squeeze yours. neither of you can really stay away from the other, inching closer as the movie progresses and stealing little cheek kisses when everyone is focused on the most exciting scenes. and when you start to grow a little tired, your head instinctively lands on his shoulder as you let out a little yawn. oscar desperately has to hold himself back from cooing at you, feeling so soft and prideful that you're leaning on him, and he settles for leaning his own head on you.

you both think you're being subtle, but everyone in the room understands what's going on. even charles, who has now been let in on what's happened between you and oscar after he walked in on lando telling alex about how cute the new couple in the house looked walking around the lake, can't take his eyes off the two of you. as your older brother, he feels like he should be doing something or saying something to protect you. he wonders what his role should be here – aren't brothers supposed to scare their sisters' boyfriends away?

but charles realizes that oscar isn't an enemy. in this moment, you look so peaceful, so content; like you've found the the long-lost puzzle piece to make you complete. how could he possibly interrupt that?

‎‎ ‎‎

december 25th, 11:28pm

charles is still fast asleep on the couch when you slip into oscar's room after the movie has ended, fingers intertwined and your laughter mixing as he pulls you along to his bed. his hands find your hips as he sits down on the edge of the bed, urging you to lower yourself onto his lap, and you happily oblige.

"look up," he says, and when you do, you're not surprised by what's hanging in the roof.

the mistletoe.

"oh," you start, looking back at him. last time you found yourself underneath the mistletoe with oscar, you had been more nervous than ever before. but this time, it isn't as scary. this time, you're able to shrug, a teasing grin forming on your lips. "i guess we should kiss, then. just for the christmas spirit, you know."

his lips are curved into a big smile. "oh, i do know." one of his hands comes up to tuck some hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek in his palm. "it's because you love christmas."

you can't hold back from giggling, and neither can he, both of you leaning in to seal your lips. your first encounter underneath the mistletoe was hesitant, but it feels like that was ages ago, in another lifetime. now, with his lips pressing against yours, it feels like it's all you've known.

he's so gentle with it, his kisses delicate and tender, and your heart flutters at the feeling. his hands land on your waist as your arms wrap around his neck, scooting in even closer. when your crotch brushes against him, he involuntarily lets out a moan into your mouth, and you stop for a moment to pull away. both your eyes and his are wide as you look at each other, and oscar doesn't know what to say. his mind is racing, not sure if you thought that was awkward or too soon or-

"that's so fucking hot," you say, and he finally exhales. you kiss him again, speaking against his lips. "wanna hear more."

he has no problems letting out more sounds when you keep up your actions, your hips rolling down on him rhythmically. his hands find the hem of your sweater and slip inside, instantly roaming your sides. his cold touch tickles, and when his fingers move along your waist, you can't help but giggle against his lips. he laughs along with you, but he only does it to match you. he's dumbfounded when you part from him and you grab his wrists to make him halt.

"you're too cold," you start, a bit breathless already. "it's-"

"are you really that ticklish?" he chuckles, fingers running up and down your sides again to test you, and his heart melts when you throw your head back, laughing. "oh come on, how am i supposed to do this if i can't touch you?"

"warm your fingers next time and we should be fine."

"next time, huh?" a combination of a smirk and a grin plays on his lips. "planning ahead?"

"well, it depends on how well you perform tonight." he sticks out his tongue at your taunting tone. "just take it off already, will you?"

oscar happily obliges, pulling the material off you before reaching for his own sweater, throwing them both onto the floor. his eyes stick to your chest, to the soft, red bed bra holding up your breasts, and he feels himself growing harder instantly, because this is so much better than he'd imagined. you can't exactly complain about what your eyes are met with, either; oscar's toned chest and his broad shoulders are basically calling out for you to come and press your lips to them. or sink your teeth in them. probably both.

he gives you a few quick kisses before his hands land on your hips and he flips you both around, laying you onto the covers. his lips meet the skin below your ear, and then travel down the side of your neck. he hears your breath hitch in your throat when he finds a spot you enjoy particularly much, making sure to memorize it for the future. and when his kisses trail even further down, they meet something hard and metallic. when he leans back, he realizes that you're wearing the necklace.

he didn't notice it until now, since he was too busy being mesmerized by your breasts earlier; but now, he can't take his eyes off it. the little heart charm rests just above your actual heart, and something about seeing it makes his heart flutter. the necklace he bought for you, the one that makes you think of him and only him. it's like you're already tagged as his.

"cute," he whispers to himself, placing a long kiss right on top of the heart. he can feel your real heart beating underneath his lips, fast but not really enough, and he can't wait to make you feel like it's pounding out of your chest.

he starts placing open-mouthed kisses down your stomach, his hands finding the waistband of your sweatpants.

"you okay with me taking these off?" he asks, parting from your skin to watch you nod your head. he pulls the material down your body, smiling when your underwear comes into sight. they're not a pair of lacy lingerie or victoria's secret-lookalikes, but just a regular pair of panties in a deep green color with little candy canes. his eyes flicker between your bra and your panties. "green and red, huh?"

"well, what can i say?" you smile. "i love christmas." he giggles, and so do you, as he leaves your pants somewhere on the floor before moving further down your body. when his hands near the fuzzy socks with little cartoon santas dressing your feet, you're quick to speak. "those stay on, though."

"oh, is that so?"

"gotta make sure you're not just doing this for that foot fetish you might or might not have." a laughter erupts from his chest. "i've had too much of that recently."

"well, i don't have one, so i don't mind you keeping them on." he moves up on the bed again, fingers reaching the hem of your underwear. "but i can take these off, right?"

"things would get kinda tricky otherwise, i'd say,” you tease, but oscar merely blinks up at you with raised eyebrows.

"tricky, yes. but not impossible."

you shake your head, a grin making its way onto your lips. "next time, oscar."

and there it is again. next time. the way you say it so casually, like there's no doubt in your mind that there will be another time, that you'll do all of this again.

yet again, instant boner.

your panties are off in a second, and he doesn't waste any time before pressing his lips to the inside of your thigh. his hand takes care of your other thigh, thumb brushing up and down your skin, as your lips travel closer and closer to where you want him the most.

you suck in a breath when you feel his warm breath against your core. his tongue meets your clit and your eyes flutter closed, one of your hands reaching down to entangle in his hair. as his tongue draws circles around your bud, one of his hands leaves your thigh, a finger swiping along your wet folds before pushing slowly into you. you don't know which sensation to focus on, both growing stronger and pushing you closer to your limit every passing second. when he's pumped you a couple of times, he adds another finger and then another, pushing deep into you. his fingers curling inside of you makes you pull on his hair even harder, your mind growing hazy and your breaths shorter.

"o-oscar," you let out, subconsciously buckling your hips towards him in hopes of creating more friction. "i'm so clos-"

you're cut off by the combination of a moan and a whine that leaves your lips when his tongue flicking your clit speeds up. "come for me, sweetheart," he tells you, his voice sending vibrations against your core.

your legs shake around him as you completely let go, feeling the climax wash over you just moments after his order. your free arm drapes over your face, covering your eyes in your arm as you try to catch your breath. oscar continues lapping you up, helping you ride it out, also licking his fingers clean before letting his hands caress your sides soothingly. he's unsure whether his fingers are warm enough now to not tickle you, or if you're just too busy coming down from your high to even realize you should feel ticklish, but he smiles at the thought nonetheless.

"everything alright up here?" oscar asks as he moves up to your face again, one of his hands prying the arm off your face. you slowly open your eyes, your hazy gaze meeting his loving one and you can't help but to cup his face in your hands. you pull him down to your lips, lazily lacing them together. he pulls away just enough for his lips to still brush yours when he speaks. "i'll take that as a yes."

you're quick to nod, but even quicker to connect his lips with yours again, not wanting to be apart for even a second.

your hands slide down his neck and the front of his body, loving the feeling of his strong muscles under your touch. your fingers reach down to the edge of his pajama pants, and you let out a chuckle when you notice the ever-growing tent in them. "don't laugh at me," he starts, biting down on your bottom lip as a warning. "you're so hot, how could i not get this hard?"

"oh, shut it," you say, feeling a blush creep onto your cheeks. "just take them off, will you?"

"as you wish."

as he shuffles off the bed and pulls off his own pants, plus his boxers along with them, you take the time to reach behind you and unclasp your bra, letting it slide down your arms and off the bed. when he reaches into the bedside table and pulls out a condom, you raise your eyebrows. "oh, so you were planning this?"

he shakes his head as he climbs on top of you again. "i was hoping, not expecting. those are two very different things." he removes the wrapper and throws it onto the table, rolling the condom onto himself. "do you need anything? or-"

"just you."

oscar presses his smile to yours, kissing you like he has no rush in the world, like he just wants to savor this moment with you. "well then," he says against your lips, nudging his dick against your entrance. "i have to give the lady what she wants, don't i?"

you can't control the whine that slips into his mouth when he pushes into you. you thought you were ready for him, but he's so big and he stretches you out so perfectly. he pauses once he's slipped entirely into you, his lips finding a spot below your ear as he allows you to get used to him. your pussy is throbbing already, still sensitive from just minutes ago, and the little involuntary clenches around him make oscar grow more and more eager.

when he finally starts moving, you drape your arms around his shoulders for stability. his thrusts are slow but deep, and yet you desperately want more of him. you hook a leg over his hip, the other following soon after, and you gasp at the way he bottoms you out completely. one of his hands comes up to squeeze your breast, thumb flicking over the nipple as his pace speeds up. the sounds you make and the way your legs squeeze him close makes him feel like he could cum anytime, but he tries to hold back because he needs to see you fall apart beneath him for the second time tonight.

"oscar..." you cry out when his free hand slides down your body, a finger coming in contact with your clit again.

"just a little more, love." his thrusts have grown sloppy and his figures on your bud aren't exactly perfect, but it's good enough for your orgasm to hit.

your back arches off the bed, your chest pressing into his as you nuzzle your face into the side of his neck to hide your moans. when your walls tighten around him, he reaches his high too, his body shaking as he rides it out. your heart is about ready to jump out of your chest when he collapses onto you, both of you trying to catch your breaths. "holy fuck," oscar starts, his breath warm on your skin. "that was amazing. you feel amazing." you try to gather energy to speak, fingers getting lost in his curls. "you taste amazing, too. better than any christmas dinner."

you give him a weak slap to his shoulder. "shush."

"it's true!" he pushes himself back a bit, mouth hanging in mock offense. "this was the best present i could've ever wished for."

"the necklace is higher on my list, though."

oscar pauses for a moment. "i'm not sure if i should feel proud or offended."

you snicker. "i was hoping for the latter," you tease, but regret it the moment oscar's hands find your waist, fingers dancing along it and tickling you yet again. the squeal you let out does nothing to halt his actions, and he doesn't even budge when you try to push him away by his shoulders. "i was kidding!"

"apologize. now."

his fingers still working their way on your skin make it almost impossible for you to speak again, but you do your best to take a deep breath. "i'm- i'm sorry! oscar- stop it!"

he finally stops, and you finally get to breathe. "i'll go get a wet towel," oscar says, pulling away from you and giving you one last glance. he almost doesn't leave the bed when he looks at you, though – he finds the sight almost too good to be true. your rosy cheeks, the dreamy smile on your lips, your hair spread out on the pillows. he's scared that if he leaves you, maybe the spell will be broken and he'll realize all of this has just been a dream. because that's just how this all feels: surreal.

but it is real, and he can't wait to have you like this in his bed again.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 26th, 12:56pm

packing up after a good trip is always a bittersweet affair. realizing that you have the real world waiting for you, your actual lives with responsibilities and obligations, and that you can't just stay in this fairytale forever – this moment was definitely not something you looked forward to.

you and charles need to get back to monaco to celebrate christmas with your other brothers and your mother, before he needs to go away for pre-season work again. you're meticulously folding up your clothes, zipping up bags and exchanging smiles as you reminisce on memories of the week.

but, things are different this time. you know that the magic of this trip isn't going to stay here – in one way or another, you'll bring some of it with you back to your real life.

oscar.

you've already made plans to meet up after new years, and even when he's busy with work, you know that you'll at least see him during every race weekend. neither of you are ever more than a flight, or a call, away, and you just can't wait to see where this all takes you.

"so... oscar, huh?" charles's voice breaks the silence, his eyes glancing in the direction of your open door that lets in the sound of oscar's voice from the living room.

"hm? what about him?" you reply, trying to hold back the smile threatening to adorn your lips when you hear his name.

charles cocks an eyebrow at you. "you and him... kind of obvious." he gazes towards your bed. "besides, your bed is made. you didn't sleep here last night."

"well, i-" you start, but charles interrupts with a knowing chuckle.

"relax, i'm not going to be a police. just..." he shows off a sweet smile. "enjoy it."

with a nod and a shared understanding, you both continue packing, an unspoken acknowledgment hanging in the air. the group gathers to bid you farewell by the front door, and gratitude fills your heart as you exchange goodbyes with your friends. you grow especially soft when lando pulls you into a hug, a cheeky grin on his lips. "thank you," you whisper, giving his cheek a quick peck to really convey how much you appreciate everything he's done this holiday. he just squeezes you back, telling you not to worry about it.

finally, as you turn to say your farewell to oscar, the atmosphere shifts and the group watches with amused anticipation. "until next time," you say, your eyes holding a promise that transcends the physical distance.

"until next time," he repeats, smiling as you engulf him in a tight hug.

you pull away just enough for your ear to brush against his ear, your voice low. "charles knows, by the way."

"w-what?" his eyes widen for a moment, flickering between you and your brother – but then realization dawns. "well, in that case..."

before you can react, oscar pulls you closer again. he presses a goodbye-kiss on your lips, right there in front of everyone, and the group erupts into cheers.

and the loudest of them all? lando, of course. "if i'm not the best man at your wedding, i'll never forgive you guys."

1K notes · View notes

eeunoia · 5 months

Text

ENHYPEN Series

sinag — psh.

chapter two

synopsis: waiting for a great plot twist in your life, the ruthless and powerful mafia boss park sunghoon forced his way in to it.

pairings: park sunghoon x reader

word count: 2.7k

warnings: a contains violence, guns, killings, abuse, obsessive love & other stuff. if you can't take this stuff, feel free to scroll away. let me know if i missed some.

note: not proof read. sinag’s chapter will usually have 2k-3k words. i'm sorry if there’s grammatical errors. enjoy reading and my ask are open for your messages. thank you so much!

here ‹ chapter one | chapter three › here

“Calm down, Kwon.” a man wearing a formal attire focused his eyes at the scene beneath him, standing proudly in front of the big glass windows of his office. He holds a cup of whiskey on his hand, the other one inside his pockets.

“Calm down?” his tone frantic as he slightly slams the coffee table near him. His fists balled, jaw clenching feeling perturbed by the situation they’re tangled in.

“Your son is uncontrolled! This arrangement was long overdue! You know we already need to do something about this.” he added.

The man remained calmed and collected despite his opposite demeanor. He went here out of frustrations in hope to come up with a solution for their problem and all he gets is a couple words of consolement. If anything, that's the last thing he needs.

“I am doing my best to convince my son, Luis.” he slowly turns to face the raging man. The placid look on his face pretty much mirrors the same with the young mafia boss they are discussing about. The main reason of their distress and troubled affairs.

“You out of all people knows that convincing your son is already out of the choices.” the man stoods and stares straight to his eyes.

“He’s stubborn and proud.”

“Mainly why we shouldn’t act repulsively. Sunghoon knows when to play his cards and is not stupid.” he took a quick sip from his glass and pursed his lips into a thin line.

“He is unpredictable and moves only to his demand. He was never born to be controlled. He's my own flesh and blood afterall.” the proud smile spreads across his face that only adds to Mr. Kwon’s anger.

“But he’s now going crazy over some girl? Is this the same boy you are blabbering about?” the man scoffs that faded the smirk on Mr. Park’s face.

“If we cannot do anything with your son might as well start by getting rid of that girl.” the look on his face were shameless. The way he talks was too casual that you’ll think he’s just commanding a luggage to be discarded somewhere.

“We have to find her before he does.” he fixed his coat while still keeping his dark, serious gazes over Mr. Park.

“In order to solve the problem, we need go dispose the one causing them.” he stated with firmness to his tone indication of want on immediate action.

“I will expect a bigger progress soon, Steven.” he starts heading towards the door, one of his man held it for him. He stops from his tracks and craned his neck to the man by the windows, “I’m not a very forgiving and patient person. You know that.”

He left the room and Mr. Park was lost with his own thoughts. His emotions at a mess that rarely happens. The lack of sense in the current situation was very unusual of him. All he can think of is his son and the tangled connection link between the Kwon family.

From the plane to your way to the hotel, you are well taken care of. The stress and worries you’ve been feeling when you stepped at the airport hours ago were vanished into thin air. It was crazy and you can’t even believe that you’re actually thinking that this trip isn’t so bad at the moment. Like as if you aren’t the same girl in distress for being sent over for this.

“This way to your room, Madam.” one hotel staff guides you in this beautiful suite. It was a hug room with a breathtaking view of the city beneath you.

The streets are busy, people rushing towards somewhere, cars honking at each other but it didn’t spoil the ambiance of the place. You giggled and eyes shut for a couple seconds, embracing the breeze blowing towards you. It surely gives off a different vibe, the feeling of being new to the place slowly gets into your system.

Scary, but thrilling. You are feeling anxious and all but staying in a fancy hotel with a rowdy surrounding rather than secluded villa sure comforts you a thousand times better.

You are snapped out from your trance when you remembers the main agenda of your trip. Letting out a strained sigh, you walked towards your bag to fish out the well planned schedule that was prepared for you. It’s like a list of things to be accomplished along the trip. It sounds like something not of a big deal since this is a business trip afterall, but the amount is what’s gets you. Thankfully, they did left your first day vacant.

Another strained sigh liberates out from you, making your lungs feel more lighter. So much for enjoying this trip. You tried to find the brighter side of it. The things you will learn from the seminars and basically from the experience here will be much to your gain.

You ordered room service for lunch and decided to rest for a bit before roaming around near the hotel for the rest of the day. The next day, its work day so while waiting for your first agenda, you ordered food for lunch. If the place was great, of course the food was fantastic. It is expected and it didn’t disappoint. You enjoyed your meal and soon starts preparing for your errands.

Today’s task is an uncomplicated one. Pretty much a warm up for the upcoming busy two weeks of your stay here. You dress up cutely and comfortably before deciding on heading downstairs to ask the lobby for some directions.

On the other hand, multiple cars parked right in front of the hotel. People’s eyes darted curiously at the scene, some chooses to continue their day after watching for a while. Sunghoon went out of his black range rover and dominantly roams his eyes around, causing the lingering eyes of some individuals to tear away.

His intimidating aura just causes some to even stop at their tracks and give way to the handsome man. He didn’t give any care and went inside along with some of his men, tossing his car keys to the valley incharge without sparing him a glance. The boy bowed paying his respect, slightly anxious not to do any mistake.

Arriving at the hotel lobby, staffs bows as he walks by. It didn’t stop people to stare at him. His face is not one to be missed anyway.

His men clicks the elevator open and Sunghoon steps inside. After pressing the floor where his room was booked, the door closes. The people who's about to ride the elevator hesitates and decided not to join him.

As the door of the elevator closes, the one beside opens and you steps outside. Smiling to the people waiting just in front of it. They seem fazed about something that made you curious. Your eyes looks at the elevator beside you, but it was close and the lights above says its moving up the building.

Dismissing that matter, you shrug off your shoulders and walks towards the lobby to go ask for directions.

Sunghoon sighs and walks outside the elevator when he arrived the floor. The hallway was empty.

“What are you doing here?” his jaw clenches and his fist balled tightly at the sight of a man sat comfortably in the middle of the room.

He’s alone, at least here inside, and a glass of whiskey sat near him on a coffee table. The man smiles a little and opens his arms as a welcoming gesture.

Sunghoon furrowed his brows and kept his unamused expression.

“Is that how you greet your dad?” his Dad crosses his legs and gave him this stare.

Despite feeling so angry, Sunghoon grinned.

“Dad?” he scoffs. “Since when did you act like one?” his rude words pricks something inside Mr. Park’s chest, but he knew he was in no place to complain.

He took part on why Sunghoon became like this. He was part of his dark childhood that led him to be ruthless. He may feel sorry right now, but there’s nothing he can do about it anymore. All there’s left was to convince him over to do the arrangement and save him from any possible outrage of the Kwon family.

“Son,” he calls, tone longing.

Sunghoon face reflects disgust at what he heard. “Don’t you dare call me that.” he coldly rejects.

“What are you doing here? How did you know that I’m here?” his questions are full of suspicion for the older man. This isn’t the first time he did this, but its still so odd that he couldn’t help to not let his guard down.

“I’m here to talk to you.” he answers one of it, but leaves out one. It didn’t slipped off from Sunghoon and sure he isn’t someone to disregard it as well.

“There’s nothing to talk about with you.” he grunts, letting him know that there is no way he can expect him to cooperate.

He turns his heels and was about to head out when his father talks once again.

“Marry Luna.” his words were short and direct.

Sunghoon halt from his steps and the crease to his forehead disappears along the emotions in his eyes.

He slowly craned his neck to look at his dad.

“Didn’t Mr. Kwon told you what we talked about the last time he went to see me?” he smirks with no humor.

“Please, son. That is planned ahead even before you’re even born.”

“If you’re too desperate in making her marry a Park, why not you do it?” he suggests in complete taunt.

“Park Sunghoon!” his Father shouts.

Seeing his father lose composure and frustrated like this, sooths something in Sunghoon. It feels something accomplishing in some part of him. He smirks unbothered of his Father’s threatening tone.

“This will be the last time you and Mr. Kwon will bother me about this stupid marriage.” he states, back to being very serious. His eyes dark, almost mirroring his father’s.

“It will never happen. He can have a gun pointed at my head during the wedding and I still won’t say ‘I do’.” he smoothly puts his hands inside his pocket.

“Don’t make me do something you will regret. Stop pushing my buttons,” Sunghoon tilts his head. “... Dad.”

Mr. Park was lost of words. He felt shivers run his spine at how cold his tone was. He can’t remember when he became like this. What did he do for him to end up like the cold ruthless person he is right now?

His mind was occupied for a while before he snaps back to his senses. He sighed and rest his back on the chair before massaging his temple. He expects no easy way to convince Sunghoon into this. And as much as he hates how Mr. Kwon last resort of solution to their problem, he was left with no other choice.

He’s doing this for his son.

He fished his phone from his pocket and dials someone’s phone number. “Did you ask the lobby about a reservation under the name Aelia Choi.”

He waits for the response of his assistant from the other line. He received a tip that Sunghoon gathers info that the girl he’s searching for are booked in this hotel. He figured his son will come here to search for her so he decided to take the opportunity of talking to him.

“There’s none, Sir.”

His brows furrowed, a little confused. Disappointed for probably another false information. A part of him felt sympathy for his son, he’s been searching for her and still no concrete leads of her whereabouts. Another, felt relieved. He can’t comprehend what crazy things his son can do for this girl. He can only mean bad for him. If he’s this wreckless for her right now, what more if he found her.

“All right, ready my vehicle.” he commands and ended the call.

After asking for details and asking assistance for your ride to the city. Waiting patiently, your brows furrowed curiously at the sight of men in black appearing the hotel’s lobby. They aren’t that many, but enough to catch attention. Their black similar uniforms sure captures people’s curiosity.

The view makes you remember of a particular night of your life. It makes you nervous, pressing your lungs and light pinches to your heart. It wasn’t pleasant for you so you quickly glanced away and move towards a more isolated part of the hotel.

From a distance, you watch how they move in an organize manner. It was evident how disciplined and well connected they are to each other. Their built and postures sure insinuates how dutiful they are. It seems like they are there to protect someone. Someone very important.

Everybody went back to normal once they left the premises. You can hear some of them still talks about the said person that just left. Uninterested, you walks towards the lady at the front desk.

“Can I ask a room service once I get back?” you ask smiling. The lady returns and smiled warmly at you.

“Under what name of reservation?” she asks.

“Oh, under Mr. (boss name).” you pursed your lips as she tries to check something on her computer. Patiently, you roam your eyes around the hotel lobby.

You noticed another group of men wearing suits pretty similar to the ones from before. This time, you saw the man walking in between them. He seemed like a very powerful man. His hair perfectly fixed, some gray strands can be seen even from the distance but it didn’t make him look that old. If anything, he looks like a Dad of a very attractive offsprings.

You didn’t realized you’ve been staring too much. Thankfully, the lady at desk calls your attention. The moment you looked away, the man gazed at you. Both of you clueless about how each other will soon make a big change to your lives, missed the opportunity to meet due to uncertain timing

“What time will you be back for the room service, Ma’am?” she asked.

You gave her the time you possibly back from your errands. Thanking her softly before going on with your day, unaware of what lies ahead of you.

“Hello, Riki?”

He heard some muffled sound from the other line, “Yeah, hyung?” the younger one responds.

“I think there’s a rat in my men. They’ve been snitching on my Dad about my whereabouts.” he continuously says in a cold tone. He’s not yet sure if hes right, but what could possibly the reason of the unexpected appearance of his father?

He’s very strict on sharing infos of his life, specially when it involves about his search of you.

“I want you to find who it is and report back to me.”

“On it.” he replies and chuckles. “This is not free, hyung.” the younger one teased.

Sunghoon rolls his eyes, “Just send me the bill.” and he ends the call before resting his back on his chair.

He’s inside his private jet. He went straight here after the encounter with his dad. The pilot waits for his command to fly and go back, but for some reason he felt something’s stopping him.

The plan of searching for you at this place sure is already sabotaged. He hope what they received was just a false information or else he will make his Dad pay for missing you once again. He tries hard to convince himself that its also probably his father who tipped him so he can have time to talk. But he can’t get rid of the thought that you might be near him. It’s making him suffer.

He have no idea how many times he will feel this way in the future, but he doesn’t care. He will never stop looking for you, even if it means he have to spend his whole life hoping that you two will meet again without a definite certainty that it’ll happen.

here ‹ chapter one | chapter three › here

main master-list

sinag master-list

permanent tag-list:

@rubyanne @map-of-border @hwangjangmi @crjwon @love13tter @candewlsy @simpforniki @classicroyalty @bridgebridgebirdiebridge @hime98 @moonsclassyslore @ddeonubaby @yeoungie @acciomylove @mymeloem19 @jvngw0n @dreamjerky @minamoons @clar-iii @herasalvatore @nyfwyeonjun @rcveribin @yizhoutv @one16core @soobin-chois @kyutiepeachy @chareadingpurposes @hwalllllllelujah @solelyenha @90sni-ki @nourhan-8 @nikipedia07 @yangbreads @drunkjazed @kimmchijjajang @hoonbrry @axartia @all4haru @sta-rie @hiqhkey @purplepuppychild @iceeee @wtfhyuck @tobiosbbyghorl @nikililmj @moonlightisland @ayayiiie @aeyeree @bitchychildmiracle

tag-list:

@heeseung-min

#enhypen #enhypenwriters #eeunoiaverse #eeunoiawrites #eeunoia #enhypen imagines #enhypen fic #enhypen yandere #enhypen park sunghoon #enhypen sunghoon yandere #enhypen sunghoon x you #enhypen sunghoon imagines #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen yang jungwon #enhypen lee heeseung #enhypen jay park #enhypen jake sim #enhypen kim sunoo #enhypen nishimura riki

164 notes · View notes

lurkinglurkerwholurks · 4 months

Text

Blue Eyes and Moth Wings

First posted: April 28, 2019

Focuses on: Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers

Tier: Literally second to last on hits, kudos, and bookmarks (and only second because I just posted a new fic a couple weeks ago); third to last on comments and subscriptions

This is my “behind the scenes” series where I indulge myself horribly by annotating my fics. Link to the fic itself above. Thoughts below the cut.

I know, right? Since like 98% of my work is BatFam, I'm not sure how many people know that I dabbled in MCU for a hot second. Specifically, Endgame made me feel many things, many of them not good, and I got the fix-it itch for a minute.

This one addresses that horrible ending to the Steve Rogers storyline. I personally don't ship Steve and Bucky romantically, but I do hold to the objective fact that Bucky is the defining person of Steve's entire life. Every single Captain America movie is about Steve in relation to Bucky. And we finally get to a point where they can rest and be friends without war or disintegration or mind control and Steve bounces????? Into a past where he somehow does NOT make it so Bucky never became a POW??????? Bull.

Also Bucky was so unsurprised and accepting in that final scene, which makes zero sense without an explanation like this one.

He feels like he’s falling. He doesn’t remember, and what he does remember he tries to forget—what he does remember they burn out of him, but they can’t burn out the falling. His is a remorseless plunge, a relentless swoop that turns his stomach and leaves him clawing for leverage. The vertigo leaves him sick and shaking every time, though by now he’s learned to hide it, to shove the emotions and the weakness deep down where only he can feel it.

I had a very clear frozen moment in my head that I wanted to work toward, and the beginning of this fic was just recapping Bucky's headspace in CA:TWS to get to where I needed to be.

He compensates by leaving his mark, by pounding his feet into the earth with each landing, by leaving holes and wreckage and carnage in his wake. He never stops falling, but each impact drives a little feeling into his frozen bones. Each piece of havoc is a memory for someone else, a way for his path to be traced by others, like footprints in mud, after he’s passed through and forgotten again.

I read a meta post at some point, comparing how the two supersoldiers—Steve and Bucky—move so differently. Steve is remarkably light for such a big guy, landing lightly, moving agilely, while Bucky is all weight and force. He doesn't try to avoid damage to himself or his surroundings, so I played with that a little here.

The search spreads outward like oil on water, seeking the trail of the ghost through airport terminals and train stations, bus stops and traffic cams. Those are the eyes of the ones who call him the ghost, призрак, and their eyes are weak, fractured by the virus that has been multiplying under their skin. The eyes of those who call him soldier, солдат, they are sharper. They think they know him. They think they know his patterns. But they have trained him too well, and he turns that knowledge against them like a stiletto.

Language and the terms we use for ourselves and each other and what that says about relationships and perception are such interesting things, aren't they?

There is no additional surveillance that he can tell, no unfriendly eyes looking back at him. Why would there be? They think he is gone, on a boat to Bogata or a plane to Pakistan.

I chose those two places for geographical distance and alliteration. I don't actually know if they make sense in-story as logical places to run. I don't have experience with evading multiple governmental entities.

The man’s face is everywhere, blue-eyed and tight-jawed. Like he’s ready to punch or be punched. The look’s the same, whether on a small, thin face, or a broad, muscled one.

I have many emotions about Steve Rogers, you guys.

None of the faces look like the one he saw, its eye swelled shut, cheek split and broken, lip swollen, lashes wet. The face that doubled over itself, ghosting image on image. He wants to see that face again, to understand why it sent him tumbling into the dark, why the words it rasped sent him falling.

This is my own private headcanon, that aggressive chihuahua Steve has thrown himself into so many fights over his entire lifetime that it's seeing him like that that finally triggers recognition for Bucky in CA:TWS. There's no recognition at Fury's apartment, only slight recognition on the bridge, but this is how things finally click.

He examines the rest of the exhibit, enhanced memory cataloging every detail. He finds a video of James Buchanan Barnes standing next to Steven Grant Rogers. They are laughing, the familiar eyes creasing at the corners in unfamiliar ways. He forces himself not to rub his own mouth. He has no muscle memory for that expression.

I had to watch that end scene so many times to be able to write it in a halfway interesting way, and I'm not mad about it.

“You look like you’ve had a hell of a day,” the man is saying.

It was a choice, making Steve swear, but it felt like the right one.

“I got some pastrami on rye in my bag here.” The man’s eyes flick to the brown paper bag sitting on the bench next to him. “Was supposed to be my dinner, but I’m not in the mood. If I leave it, you maybe think about eatin’ it for me? I hate the thought of wastin’ it.”

This was important to me, Steve knowing where to find Bucky, waiting until he comes back to himself to make first contact, and preparing a sandwich in advance, knowing his friend is hungry and alone. Also of course lived-through-the-actual-Depression Steve Rogers doesn't waste food.

He buys his way into a dumpy little motel, the building too ashamed to light up its own sign.

I'm proud of that little line, ngl.

The operative lies crumpled on the ground. Over her body stands the old man from the bench, wrinkled hands still holding a dented trash can lid aloft. The man is panting heavily, eyes on the operative, but then he lifts his gaze.

NARRATIVE RESONANCE elmofire.gif

“If, uh, you need a place to hunker down, I got one you can use.” The man has straightened again, so he does as well, stepping away and out of reach. “It’s a quiet little place. Spare bedroom, good security, not a lot of visitors since my wife… It’s a good spot for R&R.”

Lonely Steve, his wife in a nursing home 🥺 You KNOW he visits every single day.

The blue eyes crinkle again, though he thinks there is something sad lurking in the corners now. “For now, just call me Carter.”

I had ideas floating around about additional chapters, outlining what else these two might have gotten up to between CA:TWS, Civil War, and Endgame. Never got around to it, though.

#fanfic bts brain dump #mcu #bucky barnes #steve rogers #fanfic #my fic

8 notes · View notes

beautifulhigh · 11 months

Text

Tenderness and rot share a border (AO3 link) -- Chapter 3/5 -- 5k -- rated M

When Carlos was a rookie cop he played a part in bringing down a major crime syndicate. Attention to detail, finding the connections others miss? He helped make the case which had roots all the way through the system.

Newlyweds Carlos and TK are returning from their honeymoon, looking forward to starting their married lives together. Any ideas they had for what that would look like disappear when they are met at airport arrivals by their fathers, APD, and Texas Rangers.

Carlos' past is crashing into his present and now the whole future they had planned is under threat.

Anyway, when I was developing this fic idea the first scene of this part was one I had so clearly in my head, and it amused me so much that I had to write it. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

"Now I'm gonna say this one time and one time only," Judd announced clearly as the lights in the bunk room were being dimmed or turned off. "This ain't no college dorm situation, and there's not even a door for a sock to be hung on. I don't wanna hear anything because I won't think twice about pulling your asses into the shower and coolin' you off."

Nancy barked a laugh which she then tried to stifle.

"You have nothing to worry about, Judd," TK huffed, pulling himself in close to Carlos' body. The bunk wasn't designed for two people but it wasn't impossible to fit them both in there either. "Family friendly, we promise."

"I don't mind sleeping—" Carlos whispered but TK clamped his hand down over his mouth to stop him from continuing that thought.

"So you all object to me and Nance bunking up, but we're cool with them?" Mateo asked. "How's that fair."

"Tell you what, you get a literal hitman taking shots at you and then you can share a bed with your girlfriend in a room with five other people," TK said.

"I'm just saying."

"We talked about this, we all agreed," Paul's voice of reason came through. "Whole point of this is to make sure there are as many people as possible between Chris and Carlos. Only moral this guy seems to have is that he doesn't want to hurt anyone else, so we make sure it's impossible for him to get Carlos alone."

"I get that," Mateo protested, "but if something happens I'll want to protect my girl too."

"Your girl?" Marjan repeated as she walked into the room, fixing her hijab into place. "Not your team, your family?"

"You saying I can't take care of myself?" Nancy asked, sitting up in the soft darkness to stare across at him.

"Of course you can," Mateo said, "but it's my job to try. Help me out, TK, you get it. You protect the people you love."

"Which is why we're all doing this," Paul said. "Got nothing to do with who you bunk up with."

"Trust me, this is not the sexy sleepover you think it is," TK said as a few more lights went out.

"Yeah, because we should be gettin' some actual sleep," Judd said.

After that the conversation was firmly over, and the bunk room settled into the usual sounds TK knew and often found reassuring. Paul's occasional turn of a page in his book, the occasional note or beat escaping from Mateo's single earbud (he'd pretty much conditioned himself to only be able to sleep with music playing, that's how bad Owen's "One Night Strand" phase had been).

"Hey," TK whispered softly.

"Hey," Carlos replied.

"I know this is weirder than being at Dad's—"

"It's fine," Carlos said. "Really. I… actually enjoyed today. There were times, hanging out with everyone, that I felt like I didn't need to be watching over my shoulder. Like I didn't have to constantly be on guard."

"I'm glad."

"I'm glad you got to go back to work too," he continued. "TK, you need to be out there. I'll be fine here, there's plenty of people around. Being at work, we both know it'll be good for you."

"I know, and I know that everything is in place here, it's just… I still worry."

"I'm not saying you need to stop worrying, I know better than to ask that. I'm just saying that you being out there, doing your job, having some normality going on that isn't this? It's what you need."

"I need you to be OK," TK said.

"And I need you both to shut up," Judd complained.

Keep reading

#tenderness and rot share a border #tarlos fic #tarlos #tk strand #carlos reyes #911 lone star #911ls #otp: hey baby #writing jen is writing

29 notes · View notes

bungeo-ppangie · 1 year

Text

001 . polaroid love

ღ wc. 812 words, 4.7k~ characters

You rummaged through the back of your closet messily, cursing yourself for only owning a single scarf. It was so cold outside that you couldn't really leave the building without one, unless you were expecting to become a penguin like Sunghoon.

An extra factor contributing to your annoyance- you were due to be at the studio in 15 minutes, and it was a 10 minute drive. Belift finally agrees to let you and your childhood best friend, Jungwon, release a mini album together, after relentless begging from both sides for years, and you're probably going to be late to the concept meeting and fitting. Murphy and his first law seemed to enjoy tormenting you over anyone else, apparently.

You lifted up the thousandth random unused shirt, suddenly revealing some scattered polaroids. You picked a few up and flipped them over, smiling as you recalled the memories associated with each one...

"Yn!! You finally made it! You should've booked an earlier flight, I missed you so muchh!" Jungwon yelled in excitement, running over to you and wrapping you in a hug the moment he saw you.

"Won... it's a public airport, and you realize you're currently participating in a survival show watched by millions of people, right?" You glanced around nervously, trying to hide his face with your own by standing on the tips of your toes. It was a miracle Belift even let him secretly leave I-LAND for a few hours to meet you at the airport. If word got out, you had a feeling someone whose name rhymed with -ang Jungwon was getting kicked off the show for controversial PR.

"Fine, fine. How soon did they say you could make your debut? They promised within the next month, right? You don't even need training because you only transferred agencies, they won't have any reason to delay it..." He thought out loud, taking your suitcase from your hands.

"Hey, I thought we established I was an independent woman! But um I can prove it in other ways-" You quickly fixed your statement as Jungwon made the motion of handing your suitcase back to you. He grinned, as this same scene happened every time he helped you carry your stuff.

"Sure, I'll believe that when you debut. Come on, let's move everything into your new dorm before the press finds us," He smiled, making your heart flutter unexpectedly...

. . .

"Won, you strike matchsticks to light them..." You stared at him, dumbfounded by his amazing inability to understand the use of incredibly simple objects. In honor of both of your debuts, you two had purchased a cake to celebrate.

"Then why did they give us a lighter?" He huffed, his tongue poking out of his mouth as he sat on the floor, trying to work the lighter. He yelped when one of his feeble attempts succeeded, making a tiny flame burst out of the lighter.

"Because SOMEONE was browsing them in the store without wearing a mask when I bought the cake? And also just maybe because that SOMEONE then proceeded to hug me from behind like a beautified koala when I was swiping my card? I-LAND, or actually Enhypen now, fans are so fast, the last episode literally aired yesterday-" You complained, moving to sit cross-legged in his lap as his efforts continued.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Dating rumors?"

"Yeah."

"We're so screwed."

"Yeah."

. . .

A fluffy white ball shot jumped at you the moment you opened the door to Jungwon's dorm. Fortunately, you were able to close the door quickly without the added heart attack. Actually, maybe the heart attack did happen.

"Maeumi!" Jungwon called, grinning widely with the slightest hint of apology in his eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, I adopted Maeum, so now you can't leverage being busy with Taeyang over me."

"Hey, yangi requires an impossible amount of loving maintenance." You stuck your tongue out at him as you patted Maeumi, thinking of your beloved and probably very spoiled golden retriever.

"Yet you don't give his nick-namesake half the attention," He pouted, sitting down on the floor across from you to play with Maeumi with you.

"Who said I named my baby after you?" You giggled, leaning forwards to lightly bump your forehead against Jungwon's, making him smile.

"Did you not?" He laughed, changing positions to lay his head in your lap, holding Maeum. You both looked away at the contact, missing the pink that lightly dusted over each other's cheeks for a split second.

A few years ago, these types of sudden gestures would have only served to make you two laugh, and also possibly to confuse others on whether they should have thought you guys were a couple. However, the act made both of you more flustered than you would've thought now.

"Are you blushing?"

"Umm no? You should uh turn down the air conditioning."

"Yeah yeah umm good idea"

PREVIOUS . M.LIST . NEXT

#enha #enha fluff #enhypen x reader #enhypen x y/n #enhypen #enhypen jungwon #jungwon x reader #yang jungwon x reader #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen fluff #enhypen fic #jungwon #jungwon imagines #jungwon angst #jungwon x you

22 notes · View notes

sneakydraws · 1 year

Note

incredibly dumb question (and bit nsfw) pls feel free to ignore; I've just realised reading war and peace just fried my remaining brain cells: if topping anatole just made andrey worse, do you think ever bottoming would fix him or? I was thinking it'd make him even worse but idk one should never doubt the healing powers of a prostate orgasm ig

ANON YOU *LITERALLY* HAVE NO IDEA HOW CORRECT YOU ARE IN ASKING THAT QUESTION. JOURNEY WITH ME BELOW THE CUT TO HEAR MY EXTENSIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT ANDREI BOLKONSKYS SEX LIFE (spoilers i actually go more in depth about my interpretation of andreis psychological issues than ever but you have to get through the stupid sex stuff first. Sorry. Also I'm finishing writing this at the airport at seven am after not a lot of sleep so I take no responsibility for how coherent it may or may not be)

Ok I cannot emphasise enough that. Part of my initial take on Andrei (and a partial basis for my andretole au) was LITERALLY "guy who needs to get fucked but is too full of toxic masculinity to let anyone top him". Like, it's 1805 and everyone is obsessed with ancient Greece, they probably just started unpacking ancient Greek ideas about homosexuality, someone as proud, misogynistic and self-possessed as Andrei would absolutely see bottoming as some sort of shameful dishonour, if only subconsciously. (But like, if mercury was in Gatorade and the heavens collided and Pierre actually realised one day that Andrei has the hots for him and offered to top, Andrei would agree in a heartbeat because the thirst is even stronger than the internalised homophobia)

But silly sex headcanons aside I do think there's genuine psychology going on here so let me elaborate. I think Andrei is chronically incapable of being vulnerable with people. Even when making an effort to talk openly about his emotions (like in his first one on one with Pierre), he's very distanced from them, cold and disdainful. He talks about emotions but doesn't exhibit them. And if strong emotions of any kind threaten to get the better of him, he defaults to anger - see his anger at Lise in the same scene, his anger at Pierre after his refusal by Natasha and again before borodino - probably because anger feels easier and doesn't imply weakness like other emotions - sorrow, fear, regret - might. I mean in that scene after Natasha's refusal the narration openly states that Andrei hates being pitied... So like, if he can't bear to be vulnerable with others in life, how could he possibly do so in bed, right?

(Though I suppose it's not as clear cut as that because hatefucking Anatole IS a sign of weakness and feeling ashamed of it is also a sign of weakness and anatole's refusal to be bothered by it reminds Andrei of that fact every single day. He just can't win! Can't have shit in 1805 Russia!!)

All this being said, it's equally as important to my understanding of Andrei that he does WANT and even NEED to be vulnerable with someone. He wants to be able to trust and respect someone enough to lean on them and rely on them for comfort. I think that his extreme self-reliance and internal strength belie a deep-seated desire to have someone in his life who will render those traits unnecessary. Hold on I just realised Andrei has mommy issues uhh

In all seriousness tho. This is why those relationships Andrei tries to build fail, isn't it? He doesn't approach those people as equals, he wants them to be his superiors. Natasha can't just be a girl whose company he enjoys, she has to be his angel of rejuvenation and moral redemption. Speransky can't just be a man whom he respects, he has to be this flawlessly committed and morally upstanding reformer. And when he dares act like an imperfect human being, Andrei is totally turned off. His relationship with Pierre is actually probably the healthiest precisely because of its internal contradictions - he cherishes Pierre's earnestness and artlessness, but sees his naiveté and weak will, and therefore doesn't build him up to such an impossible standard of perfection as others.

(This actually contrasts in an interesting way with Pierre's (imo) final and most important transformation - that into someone who can acknowledge people's flaws and love them, without judgement or delusion. Very Christlike of him)

So um tldr. Yes Andrei SHOULD bottom (slash not be such a dom slash be vulnerable with anyone) and it WOULD fix him but also he'd need to already BE fixed for it to ever be on the table so like. F. He'll have to make do with blowing anatole's back out and hating himself for it, and count himself lucky that my stupid au gives him that much

#ask #anonymous #war and peace #andretole #andrei bolkonsky #ALRIGHTY ONLY TOOK ME 14 HOURS BUT I FINALLY COMPOSED A REPLY #i Hope this sums up my thoughts in the matter in an exhaustive succint and understandable manner but again. i did get uo at 420 am today #so we shall see later if this holds up in court

25 notes · View notes

cutedisneygrl · 5 months

Text

Love Online Chapter 10 Part 2

Warnings: some language, some rough scenes (no smut) you learn about Merida's past. Panic attack.

The next morning Merida is awoken by a text. She groans and rolls over and picks it up off the beside table. She sees it's a text from Tiffany.

Tiffany-Oh my God girl! Look what I just saw on the internet!

Merida-Oh my God! What! He hasn't texted me yet! I'm still in bed!

Tiffany-Lol You better hurry girl! Love ya!

Merida-Love you too. Thanks!

Merida jumps out of bed and is just about to get in the shower when her phone goes off.

Chris-I'm in NC. I will see you soon! 😁

Merida hurriedly messages back

Merida-Okay. See you soon. ☺️

She gets a quick shower, dries her hair and after she is dressed she applies a little make up. She decides to wear her flowered sundress.

She walks into the kitchen and fills Dixie's bowl and then fixes her coffee. She has just poured her cup when there is a knock at her door.

"Oh my God! That's him." Merida says to herself. "Why am I nervous?"

She takes a deep breath and leaves her coffee cup on the island and walks towards the door and opens it. There stands Chris with his Boston hat on and short sleeve grey shirt and Jeans. Merida runs to him and hugs him.

"Hey babe!" Chris kisses her head.

Merida stays for several minutes with her arms wrapped around Chris.

"Babe, are you going to let me in?"

"Oh, sorry." Merida pulls back and steps back.

"Come in."

Chris smiles. "Not that I don't love having you in my arms but I much rather get out of the door way.

"Yes, sorry. I just..."

"I know." He smiles. "Your just glad I'm here."

"Yes. I actually just got up about 30 minutes ago."

"What? Seriously?"

"Yes. If it hadn't been for Tiffany texting me I would have still been in bed when you texted me."

Chris smiles, "Well I'm glad she texted you then. I would hate to have to break down your door to get you out of bed." He laughs.

"You wouldn't!"

Chris winks. "I'll guess you'll never know." He says smiling.

Merida walks over to the island and picks up her coffee and takes a sip.

"Your beautiful by the way. I love your dress."

"Thanks. Can you get anything to drink? Water, tea, coffee?"

"Coffee sounds great."

Merida heads over to the coffee pot and pour Chris a cup and takes back to the Island.

"Here you go."

"Thanks."

"Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat?"

"I'm okay right now, but if your hungry. I know you just got up."

"I'm not really hungry."

Dixie then ran into the room and right up Chris. She barks and rubs up against Chris's legs.

"Well hello Dixie."

Chris says bending down and petting her.

"How are ya girl?"

She barks again.

"I probably need to let her out. Dixie want to go outside?"

Dixie looks at Merida and barks.

"Okay let's go."

Dixie followers her to the sliding door. Merida slides the door open and Dixie runs out. Chris comes up behind Merida and wraps his arms around her.

"The fence looks good."

"Thanks. I did the less expensive one. Hope it lasts."

"Hopefully it will." They stand at the door and watch Dixie run around the back yard for several minutes.

"Are you sure you're not hungry?" Chris asks Merida.

"I'm sure. How long are staying?"

"Probably just till Monday. I think I scheduled my flight for 8 am Monday morning. Oh, I need to check into my hotel. I came straight here from the airport."

"Your welcome to stay here."

"Babe, I don't want to impose. I don't..."

"You wouldn't be. I have a spare bedroom. You're welcome to stay."

"Are you sure? I don't mind staying in a hotel."

Merida turns and faces Chris and wraps her arms around him. "Chris I would love to have you stay. It's not a problem really."

"Alright. I'll call and cancel my reservation. I'll be right back."

Christ takes his phone from his back pocket and steps away and calls. A few minutes later he comes back. Merida is at the Island drinking some more of her Coffee.

"Okay all canceled. I guess I'll go grab my bag. I'll be right back."

Chris kisses Merida on the head then leaves but comes back a few minutes later with his suit case. Merida shows him the room he can put his stuff in.

"So we have an hour before your appointment?"

"Yeah."

"What should we do?"

"We can sit on the couch and talk."

"Talk?" Chris asks raising his eye brow.

Merida laughs. Just then Dixie barks and paws the door.

Merida walks over to the glass door and slides the door and lets Dixie in. Merida pours some food in her bowl then heads to the couch and sits down. Chris walks over and sits beside her. He puts his arms around her.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes why do you ask?" She asks looking at Chris.

"I'm just making sure. Your quiet."

"I'm just nervous about my doctor appointment."

"It will be fine babe. I will be right there with you."

"I'm glad you will be with me." Merida smiles at Chris.

Chris leans forward and kisses her softly on the lips. "God I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too," Merida says laying her head on his chest. Chris runs his fingers through her hair. He looks down at her. He leans forward and kisses her lips then starts kissing down her neck.

Merida slightly pulls away from Chris.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Why did you pull away from me?"

"I..." before Merida can finish what she was going to say a sharp pain hits her. She squints her eyes shut and bites her lower lip.

"Babe, are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm okay."

"Still having cramps?"

Merida nods. "Come here." Chris says holding out his arm.

Merida slides closer and lays her head on his chest. Chris rubs her back and runs his fingers through her hair. Merida places her hand on his leg. Chris places his other hand on top of hers and intertwines their fingers and rubs his thumb along her hand. Merida then shifts their hands so they are holding hands palms together. Then she squeezes his hand hard when another sharp hits her. He feels her wince.

"Mer, babe, you okay?"

Merida nods. "Is there anything I can do?"

Merida shakes her head and sqeezes his hand again. "mmmm"

"Babe, I'm worried about you. You've been having cramps now for almost two weeks. Do they usually last this long?"

"Sometimes yes. I thought I would have started by now, but I haven't."

"Babe, I'm sorry. Wish I could take the pain away."

"It's.... Mmm." She starts to say and sqeezes his hand once more.

"Can I get you a heating pad? I remember you telling me it helped."

"You can grab a wash cloth and warm up a little."

"Okay I can do that. Where do I find one?"

"In the bathroom in the cabinet."

"Okay. I'll be right back."

Chris kisses her head and gets up and heads to the bathroom. He grabs a wash cloth then heads into the kitchen. He wets it a little and puts it in the microwave for a few minutes then heads back to the living room. Merida sits up a little and Chris sits back on the couch.

"Lay your head in my lap." Chris says.

Merida shifts and lays her head in Chris's lap. He gets ready to lift her dress but she stops him.

"What?"

"Just put it on top of my dress."

"But it will get wet."

"It's okay."

"Babe, it's okay. You don't have to be nervous. I won't look promise if that's what you worried about."

"Chris..."

"I promise. It will be okay."

Chris lifts up her dress and places the wash cloth on her stomach.

"Ouch!"

"You okay? Did I get it too hot?"

"No it's fine. It feels good. It just startled me that's all."

Chris runs his fingers through her hair. He then leans down and kisses her.

"Thanks Chris."

"Your welcome babe. Wish I could do more. Wish I could take away your pain."

"I'm just glad you're here."

"Me too."

Chris then looks at the clock on her TV stand.

"Babe, its 12:30. I hate to make you move but..."

"Oh gosh!"

Merida quickly sits up. "We better go."

Merida stands up and Chris stands up as well. She grabs her purse and she follows him out. She locks her door. She starts to head to her car but Chris grabs her hand.

"I can drive. Just tell me where to go."

"Okay." Merida follows him to the blue Audi.

He opens the door for her then climbs into the driver side. He pulls out of the drive way. He looks over at Merida.

"Are you feeling better?" He asks taking her hand.

"A little."

He runs his thumb along her hand. Merida tells Chris which way to go. It takes them 10 minutes to get there. They head inside the office. Merida checks in and they find a seat in the waiting area. Merida takes several deep breaths. Chris takes her hand. "It will be okay babe. I'll be right here with you."

Merida smiles and gently squeezes his hand.

"Merida Owens?"

Merida takes a deep breath then stands up. Chris follows her until the nurse stops him.

"Uh...I'm afraid he will have to wait here."

"Please let him come. He's my boyfriend."

The nurse looks at him and smiles.

"Okay fine." Merida takes his hand, and they follow the nurse. She takes her height and weight then they follow her into the waiting room.

"How are you feeling? Anything changed since your last visit?"

"No. I have been having some bad cramps off and on the last two weeks."

"Have you started yet?"

"No, not yet. But I know I'm due any day."

"Okay. I will let Ms. Phillips know. Just change into the gown and she will be in a minute."

"Okay thanks."

The nurse left the room. Merida looks down at the blue gown then up at Chris and bites her lower lip. Chris smiles and laughs. "I will turn away, won't look promise."

Chris turns around so his back is away from her. Merida quickly changes into the gown.

"Okay."

Chris turns around and looks at her. He smiles. "Do you have any idea how cute you look right now?"

Merida smiles. She hops up on the examination chair. A few minutes later the doctor comes in.

"Hey Merida. How are you feeling today?"

"I'm okay."

"So you've been having some cramps?"

"Yes."

"Are they the same or worse than the ones you've had before?"

"A little worse."

The doctor then looks at Chris. "You must be Chris."

He smiles. "Yes."

"Nice to meet you. She has talked about you lot."

Chris smiles again. "Oh she has?" He asks looking down at her.

Merida bits her lower lip.

"Alright Merida, I need you to lay back and slid close to the end."

Merida does as she is told. "Okay you will feel a little pressure and little discomfort."

Merida squints her eyes shut as she feels the doctor put pressure on her uterus. Chris takes her hand and she squeezes it. She feels her moving her fingers around. Merida keeps her eyes shut and winces. Chris rubs his thumb along her hand.

"Okay I'm done." The doctor says sliding her chair back.

Merida sits up. "Okay after looking at your tests results and checking you out. You have what is called Endometriosis."

"What is that?"

"It is where you have pain around your uterus. Is the best way to explain it. I can give you some info on it. This is why you have had such bad cramps."

"Is it curable?"

"Yes. I can prescribe you birth control pills. They will help with the pain. Are you?" She looks up at Chris then back at Merida. "Are you sexually active?"

Merida shakes her head. "I know you weren't last time I saw you, but had to ask. Sex will be painful for you."

"Will it still be unlikely that I won't be able to conceive?"

"There is that possibility yes. There is still a chance you will be able to but it will hard for you. But let's not worry about that right now. I will prescribe you the pills and see you back in a month and we will see how you are okay?"

Merida nods her head.

"Any other questions?"

Merida bites her lower lip glances at Chris then back and the doctor and shakes her head.

"You sure?"

Merida continues to bite her lower lip. The doctor knows this is hard from Merida. She has been her doctor for a while and has gotten to know her pretty well. She looks up at Chris.

"Mr. Evans can you give us a minute?"

"Sure."

Merida grabs his hand. "No, don't leave me." She frowns.

"I'll be right back babe. I'm not leaving you promise. I will just wait outside." He kisses her head then leaves the room.

The doctor looks at Merida.

"Merida, I need to know. Does Chris know?"

Merida shakes her head.

"So you and him have never been intimate?"

"No. We haven't really been together that long. This is the first time I've seen him since July."

"Okay."

"He..."

"Yes."

"I think he wanted too earlier. We were sitting on the couch earlier and he started kissing me and kissed my neck but..."

"You got uncomfortable and pushed him away?"

"Yes I stopped him. I'm scared. I know you said it would be painful."

"Yes but you need to be honest with him and tell him."

"I know. I plan to but I'm scared."

"Merida, I know this hard for you. I've known you for several years now. I know how happy he makes you and you care for him, so you owe it to yourself but also him to be honest with him tell him."

"I know." Merida bites her lower lip and starts to cry.

"Hey, it will be okay. You will make it through this, have a little faith. Don't give up okay?"

Merida nods. "Are you ready for Chris to come back?"

Merida nods her head.

The doctor stands up and opens the door and walks to the waiting room.

"Mr. Evans, you may come back now."

Chris follows her back to the room. When he walks in he sees that Merida has been crying. He rushes to her. "Babe, what's wrong?"

She hugs him and lays her head on his chest.

"Are you okay? What happened?"

Merida doesn't say anything she just continues to hug Chris. He rubs her back.

"I will leave you two. Merida good luck. Just check out before you leave and I will see you in a month. If you need anything let me know. I am leaving you some information on Endometriosis."

The doctor leaves and Chris and Merida are alone.

"Babe talk to me. What's wrong?"

Merida remains quiet and bites her lower lip. Chris looks down at her and sees her biting her lip.

"Mer, why are you nervous? What's wrong? Babe talk to me."

"I just want to go home."

"Okay. Come on." Chris helps her down. "Let me get dressed."

Chris turns so his back is facing her and Merida puts her clothes back on. She then picks up her stuff.

"Okay."

"You have everything?"

"I think so."

Chris takes her hand and they walk out to the check out desk. She hands her the paper.

"Okay looks like our next available appointment is not till September 13. That is a Friday."

Merida looks up at Chris. "I think that will work." Merida says.

"Okay. If you need to change it just call."

"Thanks."

The lady hands her the appointment card and the info from the nurse and the prescription for birth control pills.

"Do I owe anything?"

"Looks like your all set. If you owe anything we will mail you the bill."

"Thanks."

Merida grabs her stuff and leaves the doctor's office with Chris holding her hand. He helps her in the car and then climbs in and pulls out. As he pulls out and onto the main road he looks over at Merida who has not said a word since they left. She is looking out the window. Chris places a hand on her leg. "Babe, you've been quiet since we left. What's wrong?"

Merida remains quiet. Chris looks at her and sees a tear trickle down her cheek.

"Babe, what is it? Talk to me." He says rubbing his hand on her leg.

Merida places her hand on top of his and intertwines their fingers but remains quiet. Chris pulls into her drive way and Merida still has not said a word. She gets ready to get out but Chris pulls her back.

"Merida, talk to me. Please. What's wrong?"

Merida glances at Chris and bites her lower lip.

"Babe, what is it? Come on talk to me, please don't shut me out."

"Chris I..."

Chris reaches up and caresses her cheek. "What is it babe?"

"Can we go inside?"

"Babe, talk to me. Your scaring me. I'm worried about you."

"Chris please I just want to go inside."

"Will you talk to me inside?"

Merida nods her head. Chris walks around and opens her door and takes her hand and unlocks her door and they head inside. Dixie greets them at the door and starts barking. Merida ignores her and heads to the couch. She sits on the couch and curls up in her blanket. Dixie jumps up on the couch and places her head in Merida's lap. Chris comes and sits beside her and wraps his arm around her. Merida lays her head on his chest. She begins to cry again.

"Babe, why are you crying? What's wrong?"

Merida bites her lower lip again and remains quiet.

"Mer, please talk to me. You said you would."

"Chris I..."

"Yes."

"I have...there is..."

"Babe what is it? You can tell me."

"There is something I need to tell you."

"Okay. I'm listening."

Merida bites her lower lip. Chris takes her hand. "Babe, you don't need to be nervous. It's okay. You can tell me anything."

Merida smiles and looks up into Chris's eyes. He sees she is crying. "Oh Mer. What is it?"

Merida takes a deep breath. "I've never...never..."

"You've never what?"

"I'm still a..." She bites her lower lip hard.

"Babe what is it? What are you trying to tell me?"

"I'm still a virgin. I've never..." she starts crying.

"Oh babe, hey it's okay. You don't have to worry about that. I would never force you into that."

"I know...It's just..I..." Merida takes a deep breath.

"Yes?"

"I was almost..."

She pauses. "You were almost what?" Chris asks with a concerned face.

"I was almost raped,"

"What!"

"That's actually probably not the right word, but...someone forced themselves on me. Had me pinned up against the wall. If my dad hadn't walked in I don't know want to think about what would have happened."

"Oh God! Merida! Babe." Chris says hugging her to him.

"When did this happen?"

"Five years ago. It was before I moved out. I lived at home. My dad was at work. The guy I had been seeing was at the house. We had been watching movies and I got up to go to the bathroom. When I came back he stood up and pushed me against the wall. I screamed for him to let me go...but he..." Merida stopped and cried.

"Hey it's okay. You don't have to finish."

"No I need to tell you. You need to know. I screamed for him to let me go but he wouldn't. He kissed me, kissed down my neck and pushed his body up to mine. He rubbed against me. I kept trying to push him off of me but I didn't have the strength. He was a lot bigger than me and very strong. He then..." She takes another deep breath. "He then reaches down and un does his belt and un does his pants and pulls them down and is standing in front of me in only his...his boxers. He reaches towards me and...un buttons my jeans. I scream for him to stop but he places his hand on top of my mouth and tells me to shut up. He starts to pull my jeans down when...the door opens and my dad walks in and sees. He..."

"Babe, that's enough. I can't..." Chris clenches his hands into a fist.

Merida looks up at Chris. She looks into his eyes and sees he's trying to breathe.

"Chris?"

He doesn't answer her. Merida shifts and places her hands on either side of his face. "Chris, hey, look at me."

Chris moves his eyes a little and looks at her but still doesn't move or hardly breathe. Merida then realizes what is happening. He is having a panic attack. She remembered reading that he has them at times. She then feels bad. She knows she is the one who caused it. She doesn't know what to do. How do I help him? I've never dealt with this before. She thinks to herself. "Chris, look at me, please. I'm sorry." She pleads.

Chris closes his eyes and tries to breathe but struggles.

"God! What have I done?" Merida cries. She then picks up her phone and calls Tiffany.

"Hey girl what's..."

"Tiff help!" she exclaims.

"Mer, what's wrong?"

"It's Chris. He's having a panic attack and I don't know what to do! It's my fault! I..." she says quickly.

"Okay, first of all you've got to calm down. Being upset isn't going to help. You have to talk calmly to him and let him know you are there. Is he breathing heavily?"

"He's having a hard time breathing at all."

"Okay. You've got to get him calm and get him to breathe. Tell him to take small deep breaths."

Merida moves close to Chris and places her hand on his chest. "Chris, I'm here. Breathe. Take small deep breaths."

Chris breathes in and looks like hes's about to pass out. "Chris, breathe out. It's okay. I'm here." Merida says gently rubbing his chest. Chris tries to breathe again but struggles.

"Tiff! It's not working!"

"Mer, you've got to stay calm. You getting up set is not helping him. He can still hear everything. You've got to get him calm. Whatever happened that trigged it, is still on his mind. You've got to get him to look at you and get him calm."

"But how? I've tried. He won't." She cries.

"Merida, listen to me. Stay calm. Put your hands on his or on his face. Look into his eyes. Make him see you. Tell him to breathe, that's it's okay and you are there. Reassure him that it's okay. You can do it."

"Okay," Merida says taking a deep breath. "I'm going to put you on speaker phone and put the phone down."

"Okay. Do what you got to do."

Merida hit the speaker button and puts the phone on the coffee table and then shifts and faces Chris. She takes his hand in hers and reaches up and caresses his cheek. "Chris, I'm here. It's okay. Take a deep breath. You're okay."

Chris takes a deep breath looks at Merida then looks away. Merida is scared. She can see in his eyes he's angry. She continues to caresses his cheek and rubs his hand. "Chris, look at me. I'm here, it's okay. Please. You're okay. Take a breath."

Chris closes his eyes and takes a breath then looks at Merida. Merida puts her other hand on his other cheek. "You're okay. Breathe."

Chris takes another deep breath and is finally breathing normally. He looks at Merida. He remains quiet.

"Merida, is everything okay?" Tiffany asks.

Chris looks down at the phone on the coffee table then back at Merida.

"I think so. He hasn't said anything yet."

"Okay. I'll let you go. If you need anything you can call back."

"Thanks."

Tiffany ends the call.

"Chris?"

Chris looks down at Dixie who is curled up at the end of the couch asleep.

"Chris, say something please."

"I need air."

Chris stands up and walks towards the sliding glass door. He slides it open and walks outside.

Merida starts crying. "God please, don't let him leave me. This is all my fault. If I had only stopped when he said I didn't have to finish." Merida continues to cry. She glances up and sees Chris sitting in the chair outside with head in his hands. She wants to go to him but is afraid to. "Maybe he needs to alone."

Just then her phone goes off.

Tiffany-Everything okay?

Merida-I don't know. He hasn't said anything except I need air and then went outside to the back yard. He is sitting down with head in his hands. Do I go to him? Or let him be?

Tiffany-Give him time. He will come talk to you when he's ready.

Merida-Okay. This is all my fault. If I had only stopped when he told me too.

Tiffany-Don't blame yourself. It's okay. You didn't know this would happen. It will be okay.

Merida-What if he leaves me? I can't...

Tiffany-Mer, stop! He won't leave you. That's not the kind of guy Chris is. He will come talk to you. I know he will. Give him time. If you told him what I think you did, he is processing it and needs time. It will be okay. I promise. I love ya. I'll be here if you need me.

I know this was a little long and there wasn't many pics of anything, but the next one will have a few more pics. I will try get the next chapter up tomorrow if I can, if not Thursday.

Tag List: @cevansbaby-dove @lizette50 @nicoline1998enilocin @katherineswritingsblog @cutelatinagirl @frogeezz-blog-blog

6 notes · View notes