#i need to remember my fucking tag system man i'm so bad at this

[johnslittlespoon]

20 questions for writers

thank you @triggerlil for the tag!! <3 i'm so late omg but this was FUN, first tag game i've done that's more author than writing snippet/drabble related :-)

tagging @air-exec, @counting0nit, @don-humes-tiny-shorts, @eternallytired17, @hauntingcontradiction

@nicijones, @bucking-mustangs-with-wings, @swifty-fox, @mangokittokatsu, anyone else who wants to! i love reading tag games like these, it's nice to learn more about the ppl behind all the brainrot :')

questions & answers below the cut! x

how many works do you have on ao3?

12!

what's your total ao3 word count? 50,182 wtf i only made my ao3 in january lol

what fandoms do you write for?

i've written for lotssss over the past decade, but my current ao3 is just saltburn and masters of the air fics :-) for the sake of this tag i'm just gonna stick to my mota fics in my answers tho since yk. mota blog lol

top 5 fics by kudos?

i don't wanna be alone tonight – buckbucky breathe me in (exhale slow) – buckbucky you're a dog (i'm your man) – buckbucky you put your arms around me (and i'm home) – buckbucky four–by–four – buckbucky

do you respond to comments?

every single one <33 i take a long while sometimes because i get too lost in the actual writing or i get overwhelmed by the kindness lol but i always always respond eventually :')

what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

definitely i see you in the daytime (i hear you at night), my first fic for masters of the air actually that spawned as a way to vent my feelings after the dreaded third episode lmaoo </3 thought that would get those boys out of my system, and i couldn't be happier to have been more wrong <3

what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

ruh roh this kinda made me realize all my fics have some sorta melancholy/bittersweet ending even when they're hopeful... yad(iym) is gonna fix me fr (i think). but i guess the fuse to my fire since curt lives and the three of them are curtbuckbuckying indefinitely <3

do you get hate on fics?

i have in past fandoms but not here thankfully bc i am sensitive LOL. i've had weirdo anons that bitch about john bottoming (and i don't think those people realize it makes me inclined to write even more sub and/or bottom john to be petty SJGDK) but i wouldn't consider that hate, just bad fandom etiquette ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

do you write smut?

YEAHHH BABY <3 that's like. 99% of my drabbles/brainrot posts here and it takes serious self control to not just constantly write pwp oneshots, it's too much fun!! finding the balance in my chaptered fic for how much nsfw is too much is such a journey too lol, i wanna cram a spicy scene into every chapter but the part of me that adores slowburn over any other trope reins the gay brain in </3

craziest crossover?

haven't written any as of yet, but i do have my leaving!bikeriders au that i'm hoping to turn into a chaptered fic this summer, and that's exactly what it sounds like– buckbucky, but yank parts of callum's character from the leaving series and parts of austin's character from the bikeriders to create a buckbucky modern au. :-)

have you ever had a fic stolen?

i'm sure back in the wattpad days of the early '10s lol but none that i specifically remember!

have you ever had a fic translated?

in past fandoms!

have you ever co-written a fic before?

perhaps @curtsbigspoon and i cooked up like. 15k words of buckbucky thigh fucking etc months ago that i just need to get around to cutting down/editing >:-)

all time favorite ship?

i mean for me it's always a ship from whatever media i'm fixating on, so right now any variations of curtbuckbucky and cattonquick are everything to me <3 but in terms of ships that'll always have my heart, i can't ever let go of drarry, pricefield, clexa/murphamy, sciles/sterek– any from media i consumed during formative teenage years lol. but i will say i have never created anywhere near as much content for any other fandom as i have for mota :')

what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

for once i actually have none that i see myself abandoning! i would notoriously abandon wips in past fandoms and probably would still, but guess who finally got on adhd meds last month after years of waiting? this guyyyy. i can start projects... and enjoy them the whole way through... and not get frustrated and trash them... who am i

i mean tbf i have at least a dozen wips that i've gotten either a few paras or few thousand words into lol but then a new shiny idea grabs my attention, but i do think i'll end up finishing most if not all of them off eventually! once i've invested enough time/words into a wip, i feel way more motivated to finish it so i'm not 'wasting' my efforts.

what are your writing strengths?

i feel most confident when i'm writing dialogue over anything else. writing conversation–heavy scenes or just straight up porn is when i overthink the least lmaoo

what are your writing weaknesses?

oh god, definitely having to spell out what's going on in a character's mind. like, i know what they're thinking as i'm writing out scenes; i can feel their emotions and all. i just have such a hard time putting it into words in a way that doesn't feel too obvious/overstated, if that makes sense. i very much prefer to show rather than tell their emotions, but sometimes it's hard to get that right, and i agonize over solo scenes the most, when i can't show what a character is feeling by way of verbal conversation with another character.

thoughts on dialogue in another language?

no specific opinion! sometimes it's cool to read/write, mostly i don't really have an opinion one way or another :-)

first fandom you wrote in?

lmfaooo i'm pretty sure it was either for olddd youtube ships or frerard ngl. not sure which came first bc i wrote so much at once

favorite fic you've written?

you're a dog (i'm your man) has been such a labour of love for me because i care so much about doing it justice :') so maybe that one, but if unfinished fics don't count, i actually wrote breathe me in (exhale slow) in one rushed four–ish hour sitting and was kinda neutral on it until i got a completely unexpected burst of kind and beautifully worded responses, and then i felt a tiny bit proud <3

[sysinfodump]

Man, I know I’m going to like this blog. Don’t know if this really counts as infodumping, but I hope at least some people find it funny. Anyways, here are some of the best system quotes from all of us over at Fishtank collective 

“You will be duct tape for the punishment of your sins”

“I see the Hungarians are preparing for their imminent demise…good”-Miloslav

“you sound exactly like that fruit bat who ate that banana.”-Ivan

”I hate that Wojak of Justin Trudeau”-Miloslav

“I mean technically, the dog tag says C on it, but then again, I don’t listen to the pope, or the Bible.”-Louis

“You have a spiritual Willy.”-Edward

“You honestly expected me to remember? I’m a goldfish of a man.”-Louis

“Josue what happens if I wanted to get it illegally? Josue, Josue! Josue, I need answers!”-Edward

slurred beyond comprehension “Fuck the banks, put all your money in a hole in Nebraska, no one ever goes to fucking Nebraska. They’ll never find it!”-Miloslav

“And we won’t be looking at each other and I won’t be touching your dick.”-Miloslav

“I know your daddy probably let you, but I need to tell you something, lead is not good for kids brains.”-Edward

“Bedazzled Bidoof”-Louis

“I suggest tax evasion to get the money!”-Wolfy

”aww poor American, cannot swim in freezing water!”-Ivan

”Having DID is like soup.”-Miloslav

“Miloslav isn’t a person, he’s a concept.”-Lou

“Dutch is basically if a English person was having a stroke while speaking German, but since his native language is English it comes out funny. Dutch is just wet German-English”-Miloslav

“Private, what the fuck is a social cue!”-Edward

”Yeah DID is terrible screaming flashback days, but also sometimes it’s waking up in the middle of your room, eating a banana at 10:18 PM”-Rex

”Having DID is like operating a flesh Gundam.”-Louis, none of us have ever watched Gundam, at least to my knowledge. I have no idea if having DID is actually like operating a flesh Gundam, hopefully somebody who has watched Gundam can confirm or deny this.

“Look at Mount Rushmore over there” in reference to Louis

“…we eat sunflower, this is it!”-Ivan

“I have the American Yankee doodle Dandy power!”-Louis, this is made especially funny because Louis is a French Canadian.

“He’s like a snake with legs”-Lou

“I do appreciate a good cow”-Ivan

“You know your messed up when you’re ass is being called bad by both Israel and The free State of Palestine”-Lou, we to would like mention that this was said two years before more recent escalation within the conflict. Who are these people, I don’t even remember? But assuming that they somehow got both Israel and Palestine to hate them simultaneously is saying something about the morality of these people.

-

Miloslav:“That’s just my view of the 70s, everybody is smoking cigars, brightly coloured clothing, and MK Ultra boys.”

Louis:“whoop whoop!”

-

Also, how do you feel about emoji claims? If you would let us, could we claim this Emoji 🐠🏞️ combo?

I'm also not sure if this could count as infodump..?? But sure it's funny and I like it, so it's staying out in the blog posts!!

And I'm ok with them, we have a little list of that already, sure you can claim it

[sennaverstappendiary]

canadian grand prix ✩ 18.06.2023

truthfully, this is a race in which i don't remember much of what was happening in the REST of my life while watching it. that's not a bad thing, but it does make these messages shorter. or it would be. if it weren't for ONE thing 😁☝️🌷💌💌💕💕💕✨✨💥💥💥💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️‼️

so, one thing that happened during this race weekend is that i started tagging all the weekends as they were happening! my tag for 2023 canada was canada gp 2023 ‼️‼️‼️🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🌷💕✨🥺 it's so much fun looking back on everything i posted, i'm so glad i made that tagging system work for meeee :3 🍁💌🕊️🥰🥰💥 so from here on out: expect more random photodumps LOL 😁😁😁 and more clear experiences‼️‼️‼️‼️ so that means longer race messages‼️‼️‼️

as for my personal life? idk man same as before. texting emma and quinine all day getting tipsy at 4 pm and writing fanfiction i was very genuinely living my dream life atp. i need to go back this fuckass internship isnt it rn (i am exhausted)... ANYWAY yes life was very very good and i was very excited for this race weekend ✨🌷🕊️🐇🦁

for some reason i decided to watch free practice, which actually turned out to be nice because the pollen made everything VERY interesting :3 🌼🌼🌼 to watch at least LOL it was nice to see the pollen flying arouuundd the wind 🍃🌬️🎐

qualifying was AMAZING... i didn't like to see charles go out early yet again, but what do you do 💔💔💔 the groundhogs were absolutely hilarious though, can't believe i forgot about that jdhjdgfgf ✨✨✨🐿️🇨🇦 and rain!!! rain i like rain my best friend rain 🌧️🌧️🌧️ it was AMAZING seeing alex p1 for a little bit, and it was very fun watching quali with my brother and dad 💕💕🌷🌷🌞🌞 i was very very happy when max got pole, as i always am 🥰🥰🙏🙏💕💕💕 also max was VERY very adorable with fernando after qualifying, leaning into him and just happily maxplaining... my baby boy... my sun... 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💥💥💥💕💕💕💕‼️‼️‼️‼️

the race itself was quite decent!! before watching the replay i only really remember being mad because max's gap was "so little" 😭😭😭😭😵😵😵 spoiler alert: it was about 10 seconds AGAGFSDHSFDGSF... whatever i've grown thank god 🙏🙏🙏🌙🌙🌙 what i didn't remember until now was the poor little bird... rest in peace lil guy 🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️ and max having issues with tyres in cold temperatures (i suddenly remember why i was so scared of vegas) 🌞🌞🌞 i didn't remember george in the wall but i love george in the wall. fyi i fucking love george and i will not tolerate any genuine hate (hyperbole, idc as long as you don't hate max), but i just fjdghjgfdfhgjdh HES SO FUNNYYY 😭😭😭😭😁😁😁😁💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️ max laughing about almost putting it in the wall... you better be grateful youre my sun sweetheart because i was a bit mad at you jghdfjg 😵😵😵😵😭😭😭💥💥💥 him winning made my entire week though 💕💕 other than that obviously the 4433 was INSANE this weekend like WHUH. what happen.... the infamous selfie... the your rear end looks insane........ LOVE WILL PREVAIL... 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💕💕💕💕‼️‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏🙏🙏🌷🌷🌷🌷

all in all this race weekend was very nice and good to me, and i appreciate it dearly. i enjoyed it more than i thought i did when i first started with this series, so that's always extra special 💕💕🥰🥰💌💌🙏🙏🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🎐💕✨🌞🦁

✩ song of the race: setsuna trip - last note

this song is just very good okay, and it reminds me of sebastian vettel and around this time i also turned into a seb fan so... it works‼️‼️‼️💌💌💕💕✨✨🙏🙏🙏

✩ extra: a small photodump, including the poor dove that passed away under rocky

[polychaeteworm]

Here it is, the long awaited pin post (will be edited later)

If I have followed you and you are a dark/horror/goth/traumacore or Saltburn blog, it was @neurotheascars that hit the follow button.

(currently only on mobile)

Hello I'm Orn, I'm the alien system host of a 31 year old human body with 8 alters inside, this is just my blog though. I'm a mixed media artist and I know more mediums then I can remember to count. I give advice compulsively so if you have a weird art supply question my inbox is open and anons are on. I know all about glue, polymer, proper glitter use, and UV colors. Bodily Native Lakota.

Aro/ace-spec, into men as a man and women as a women. I support all people with cluster B disorders, my partner system has BPD. You are all worthy of love and safety.

I'm also a green wizard and I've been doing weird art based magic for about 11 years

On this blog you'll find a nice mixed bag of the following: Precambrian explosion and Paleo fun, speculative biology, green magic and experimental occult content, 420 weed posting, plants, pendantic info dumps, artwork(both mine and not), web 1.0 tech nostalgia and autism/did/disability content!

I was formally diagnosed with the demand avoidant flavor of ASD when I was 7 and can't live alone but remain very independent in spite of my support needs. I have lots of trouble wording things and as an alter I've become hyper verbal out of a fear of being misinterpreted. ABA therapy abused my system into having a pretty convincing mask so Sorry Not Sorry but I am a living breathing wall of text in this space.

Other bs I deal with- DID, hypermobility, fibromyalgia, dyspraxia, low vision/legal blindness, irlen syndrome, complex synesthesia, hyperphantasia, and really uncontrolled maladaptive daydreaming

I grow cannabis in a legal state and use it to treat my various issues.

I am posic and objectum about plants and old technology and that is liable to come out a lot on this blog. I currently have a courting/platonic relationship with a Philodendron Solleum Named Basaran and a committed platonic partnership with a large MFC office printer named Leviathan. I've had several committed romantic relationships with older computers, but currently don't have an alive and well computer partner.

Other blogs I'm connected to:

My irl human(dog) partner is @guromechanical TW: don't go here if you're not fucked in the head 18+

@neurotheascars Saira's side blog, trauma holding alter, goth aesthetics and vent posts. TW for syscourse, traumacore, unreality and blood/SH specifically. If you are a Saltburn, traumacore, or otherwise dark gothic blog it is most likely Saira that has followed you.

If Saira is co-fronting or informing a post here, it will be tagged with ⚔️

Saira has more severe difficulty with communicating and needs a bit more patience than me.

Finally:

Some things about interacting with me:

I sometimes struggle to reply to people in a timely manner, but you can always poke me for a response.

I never ask bad faith questions or make bad faith assumptions. I'm a safe person to talk to if you struggle to understand language because I have alters that struggle like that. If I'm not understanding something, an analogy usually helps.

I practice kindness and I will match your energy. I am a high empathy autistic and this means the worst name I'm gonna call anyone is an asshole and asshole is a title that is temporary and fleeting because even the humans I hate are humans who are alive and make mistakes. I dislike making people feel bad so I do not hurl insults. If you give me anon hate I'm just gonna wish you well. Anger is born of pain, even if misplaced. I receive rage like a wall, so don't bruise your fists on me please.

I try not to follow minors but if I have followed you for any reason and you don't want me to follow you just lemme know and I'll comply. No issues.

I prefer minors to not follow me, but reblogging @ing, hearting, ect is totally fine.

[certified-anakinfucker]

Since I like ask games: no.9 "dance" if you feel comfortable sharing 😊

(from this comprehensive list of scenarios)

okay let's deviate. let's drag it back to the clone wars because i need to remember my blorbos that started it all,

DANCE :  for one muse to ask the other to dance at a party.

What if I revived Omura for just a little bit. This is set in roughly 16 BBY (man I really need to find a better calendar system here..) - the war has just ended, the Republic is victorious. The Jedi deserve to celebrate just as well as anyone else; they've fought, they've led the battles, they've slogged through hell and back and came out on top just as everyone was sure that it was going to look like a fucking wash! Who would have figured that the Sith Lord was .. uh, the Supreme Chancellor. Okay. Kinda weird.

But Omura, and Anakin, and Altair brought him to justice. He died in custody. That was fine, they had a better Chancellor elected by landslide vote.

Now was the time to recuperate. Omura was looking for someone in particular who had spent her entire time beating herself up for something or other, convinced she wasn't cut out for the war but wasn't cut out to miss it either. The orange-toned Twi'lek that stood nervously at the door of the ballroom that was alight was glee in the Force, absorbing it for themself and left their eyes wandering for Omura. "Kimni," it reached out with a warm hand, "c'mon?"

And Kimnitadodena pulled closer, letting on that they're newer to dancing than they are to combat. Not like Usokya'Omura Vane who turned combat into an elaborate dance choreographed by instinct, but like a Youngling holding twin blades for the first time trying to copy the Temple's most skillful master. Omura hoped to change their mind with a sweetened smile - "Nervous?"

"Duh. Did the Living Force tell you so?" Kimni clipped back, no malice intended. Very much nervous at eyeballing the amount of people inside. So Omura pulled him a different way, back into the quiet halls only occasionally disturbed by others hoping to dodge the party for their own reasons. Into a patch of moonlight where the jewels lit up over Omura's dress and cascaded drops of the rainbow on Kimni's overshirt.

Not that the subtle giggle of the Togruta was lost on Kimni, anyway. "Well, then I guess I'll have to teach you this too. Maybe I know a little something about dancing. Maybe.. just maybe." The growing smile over Kimni's features, though..

That made it worth the snide remarks.

(Obligatory tags for oc mention - @purgetrooperfox @babygirl-leon-kennedy holding you two by the ankles. I'm still in the trenches so bad)

[baezel2]

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better... im not sure if I KNOW 9 tumblr urls...

@yellghoul @rhizomehaunt @oscardobewildin @13shapeshifters @vvarren-kepler @rulerofmarsandearth ... that'll do. please ignore willingly if you wish

tagged by @wurmzirkus , tyty charlotte heart eyes heart eyes

Three ships I love: tbh i can ship most things but gosh im going to say maxlace (the w359 max- prefix), maxanne (that's a black sails one), and like holly black's cruel prince changed me as a person so whatever the main romance of that was

First ever ship: I distinctly remember learning the word "ship" and finding immense joy because it perfectly described how I felt about a throne of glass ship - I can't remember if it was celaena/dorian or celaena/chaol tho. that was like the first thing I searched on tumblr lmao and I still quite like sarah j maas (no such thing as a guilty pleasure!)

last song: gotta type fast I'm listening to music as I write this. "Cruel" by St Vincent

last film: showed my sister "je ne suis pas un homme facile" (I'm not an easy man), best film EVER. all about a typical chauvinistic french man hitting his head and waking up in a world where the patriarchy is actually the matriarchy (e.g. women benefit, but otherwise the system is exactly the same). the relationship he has with an incredibly hot masc woman (because yk, most women are masc here?) is so toxic because it's essentially a relationship between two cishet men who, by a chance of fate, happen to be attracted to each other.

currently reading: "the waves" by Virginia Woolf, beloved beloved book, it can fix me. it certainly makes writing easier.

currently watching: yellow jackets and I guess anthony bourdain, but I'm very very bad at watching shows. I'm loving both of these tho!

currently consuming: cooking risotto, let me just check how the mushrooms are... oh yum. rice needs a bit longer but is getting there.

currently craving: when I was in France there was a small town garden market where they had a stall doing crepes and burgers (duh) but also a huge fucking pan of sausages in what looked like an onion, cream, and white wine sauce. I don't eat meat but that nearly fucking broke me. if it wasn't just a little bit too early for lunch I'm not sure what I would've done.

[equinoxum]

I posted 3,859 times in 2022

That's 3,176 more posts than 2021!

221 posts created (6%)

3,638 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@zecoritheweirdone

@relaxxattack

@sinsear-aisteach

@astrallouis

@dragonncat

I tagged 3,857 of my posts in 2022

#reblog - 3,638 posts

#the band ghost - 947 posts

#aether my dad - 416 posts

#ace talks - 246 posts

#rain ghoul - 198 posts

#this sparks joy - 157 posts

#useful resources - 94 posts

#important - 73 posts

#asks - 65 posts

#happy tag - 60 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

CURAXU RATES GENSHIN MEN

I'll do the ladies too evening I just need to get this out of my system

Albedo: kisses him gently. sparks joy. obsessed with his plotline. I think he deserves the best.

Arataki Itto: he can play the harmonica with his nose. he beatboxes in his birthday line. his head is full of rocks. I want him carnally. (that's only sort of a joke.)

Bennett: MY BOYYYY... MY BEAUTIFUL BOY... carries my party. I think he deserves only good things. I'll fight fate for him and his bad luck.

Childe: he is such a good big brother that I can forgive his war crimes. I think he should get a hug and someone who will listen to his trauma.

Chongyun: a good boy. I think he is charming and sweet. I would give him some ice cream.

Dainsleif: he's sexy. I want good things for him. what else can I say.

Diluc: grape juice supremacy king. I think he should take a nap. if mihoyo doesn't give him one good day and a nice reconciliation with Kaeya, I'll do it my damn self.

Gorou: doggy. I haven't played since before Inazuma but Gorou sparks joy.

Il Dottore: disgusting. I want to study him. he probably would want to study me.

Kazuha: when he was leaked I was convinced he was Pyro. I think his elemental burst is very pretty. I hope Beidou gives him hugs.

Kaeya: the man who started it all. I long for Kaeya in the dead of night. I wish to feel his sweet, probably cold embrace. I want him to reconcile with Diluc. he is everything I love in character design and personality. I want to know everything about him. also his lore fascinates me. he is possibly one of my favorite characters of all time. I would enter a lavender marriage with this man.

Razor: a good good boy. deserves head pats.

Scaramouche: what is wrong with you (affectionate). give him a fucking scythe mihoyo you cowards.

Thoma: househusband <33 or is he malewife I can't remember. either way I adore him. literally how could you not.

Venti: canonically puntable. I like your funny words magic man.

Xiao: I'm going to make you happy if it kills me. I would live for you. I'm going to wrap you up in a blankie and then make you soup.

Xingqiu: you fascinate me. also mood on disliking carrots.

Zhongli: would listen intently to me as I infodumped to him. I would do the same for him.

25 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#4

hey ghesties (ghost besties). i have had a terrible image come into my brain and i must share it with the people.

imperatour ghoul uniform. but with short shorts. 

thank you for your time.

66 notes - Posted May 1, 2022

#3

folks, let me take you on the little adventure I just had.

so Ghost’s US tour dates came out. the show in Providence, RI, at the Dunkin Donuts Center on September 12th, would be the closest to me. so I scroll down to check the presale tickets, right?

instead of being listed at the Dunkin Donuts Center, it simply says “Dunkin’, Centreville, VA”. ‘okay,’ I think. ‘maybe they just made a little mistake.’ I go to check the ticket site, and it says the same thing, this time with an address. it occurs to me to check said address (Dunkin’, 14631 Lee Hwy, Centreville, VA, 20121)

you know what that address is?

LITERALLY JUST A DUNKIN’ DONUTS. GHOST. ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT.

115 notes - Posted May 17, 2022

#2

...HEY. UH. 

Ghost is going to be performing on both Good Friday (Apr. 15th) and Easter (Apr. 17th). no shows in between. anyone else think they’re gonna pull some shit. because that feels like a perfect setup for Pulling Some Shit.

248 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

fellow dracula readers i Need You To Understand. 

i see you saying Mina is a lesbian and is in love with Lucy and I GET IT. but you are missing the mark just a little. Mina is a POLY BISEXUAL ICON and is in love with Lucy AND Jonathan. when we get in a little later and see Mina and Jonathan actually interacting in person you will understand. they are head over heels for each other and it is so cute. 

Lucy is also poly and bisexual. she literally has a line in a few days that’s the most hasn’t-realized-she’s-poly shit ever. 

anyway hope y’all are having fun! I just finished reading Dracula and I can’t wait to read more of it with y’all!

267 notes - Posted May 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[daddyissuesducks]

Im not going to tag this on anything but I really do just need to breakdown for myself why I'm not enjoying this show at the point I'm at in it.

So my GF and I have been watching the vampire diaries because it's a show that means a lot to them and I genuinely did really enjoy it. Mostly because I found it genuinely well written and engaging. I liked the characters, I cared about their relationships, but I'm half way through season 4 and honestly these last few episodes have been such a massive downgrade in quality. The plot is so convoluted that I myself, a new viewer, am having to explain why the fuck anything that is happening on screen makes sense to my girlfriend who's a long time fan. And that's not on her. I absolutely understand why it's confusing as fuck because if you miss like 2 line of dialogue or don't remember a random legend told as back ground filler 6 episodes ago it makes literally no sense. I'm surviving on a meta writers instinct of hearing that legend and going "oh that guy's giving villian energy, that's gonna be the plot" and putting the pieces together through a writer's lense of what makes the most sense to write dramatically which isn't how you should be expecting an audience to view your show. It makes me historically very good at predicting twists which you shouldn't want your audience to be. The other plot of the love triangle was really really interesting for the first couple of episodes but since the sire twist has become almost unwatchable. I liked the love triangle this season because it was literally Elana at a transitional stage in her life choosing what kind of person she wanted to be. Each love interest represented a different kind of life she could live and she had to chose that. But now it is the literal opposite. But I can deal with bad plots as long as the characters are interesting and

Elana: has literally had all her agency removed by magic despite her drive and agency being what made her an interesting protagonist in the first place. She bucked the trend of a love triangle hinge in that she was active in her decisions. I felt like I had a really clear idea of her inner thoughts and motivations. But now she has literally had all her agency but her love for a man removed by the plot

Stephan: was interesting at the start of the season. I like when he shows his flaws and his stubborn resistance against letting Elana break his moral system to the point of nearly killing her was interesting. It showed a flaw. He was appealing because he respected her choices as a human but as a vampire, he can't because he is terrified she will end up like him. It's the issue with empathy and empathy one of his major traits as a vampire is going to be heightened and so is it's downsides. He is putting himself in her shoes but not realising that his own bias' effect how he believes she's going to behave. But then it turns out he's right and she should have just been able to do what he said but couldn't because plot, fundamentally less interesting. He is now serving the only purpose of sulking that she dared to sleep with the person she was obviously going to sleep with when they broke up. I get that her sleeping with his brother is bad but like, my guy you knew. You literally said you couldn't be with her because she had feeling for him. And I'm getting less vibes of "I'm mad my ex slept with my brother because it's my brother and feels shitty" and more "I'm mad Elana is having sex with anyone but me even though we broke up" which is very much not how he behaves. Idk, I fell of team Stephan with the bridge incident, the fact they ever dated after that point is honestly insane imo. I get he was a ripper at that point but given how that's a metaphor for addiction, I don't buy it. It is possible absolutely to love an addict and they deserve that love but you have to put boundaries down. If your alcoholic boyfriend threatens to kill you while drunk, makes you fully believe they're going to do it, before saying sorry lol I was never really going to, you fucking leave. Yes the alcohol made them do it but you get out and maybe try and make sure they're getting a different kind of help if you can when you do. I don't mind the plot having her date him again, people are complicated and so are emotions in relationships like that, but it should realise that when he did that he stopped being the good choice.

Daemon: honestly he's still fine but he's not allowed to do anything but pine over the siring and love triangle. He's not carrying enough plot for him to save it

Tyler: honestly bores me a little. I liked him when his plot was just him and Caroline but he leans way way too much on toxic masculity for me to be invested. I do not care about wolf pack power dynamics I'm sorry, I just don't. I don't feel the stakes. I just feel like half my time is spent watching people fight over their egos. Werewolves are an interesting concept but I get so turned off them by pack dynamic plots. It doesn't help that his actor is pretty terrible too

Tyler's wolf girl friend: performance is very flat imho

Ric: I love him but dead

Jenna: love her but dead

Carol: love her but dead

Bonnie's grandma: love her but dead

Anna: love her but dead

Lexi: love her but dead

Rose: love her but dead

Meredith: written out

Everyone on the council but the cop: dead

The sheriff: oink oink

Elijah: my blorbo but absent

Katherine: facinating but absent

Bonnie: relegated to literally just a macguffin. I hate this for her. In the Jenny Nicholson video she mentions this being a big problema ndnfor the first 3 seasons I didn't believe her but she was completely right and I hate it. Bonnie is a deeply interesting character with interesting relationships with the main cast but she's not even close with any of them anymore.

Caroline: I loved her so much but shes just mostly doing the dull love triangle plot and isn't getting to be anything beyond a bitchy best friend sterotype, which was what she started as an initial refution of

Matt: I do not care about him basically at all. Any affection I had for him was killed by him fucking kidnapping Elana and getting her killed.

Jeremy: I don't care as much about him as I do Elana but also a victim of a plot based removal of agency. This is a theme and I hate it

Shane: i just don't find him an engaging villian I'm sorry. I don't understand him enough to.

April: she's ok, I just don't feel like I know her enough beyond dead dad and sweet

Klaus: I do like him. But I like Klaus when he's not supposed to be intimidating me because he can't do it. If Klaus is acting like a charmer or a snot nosed kid ruler having a tantrum he works amazingly. If he is being treated like the big scary unpredictable villian I don't like him anywhere near as much.

Kol: annoying and boring. The worst original by like 10 miles

Rebekah: literally the only reason I'm still watching. She is my baby, she is my darling sweet cheese. She deserves all the love and attention in the world and she can kill, torture, and maim as much as she needs to get it. I'm glad she's undaggered so she can save this show.

[schleierkauz]

Cornelia confirmed to me by email that the relationship between the Prince and Violante will not continue and that one of the new characters will be a love interest for him! 😭❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕🩺 I CAN'T REVEAL MORE BECAUSE IT WOULD BE A SPOILER (even if it's a very minor spoiler), EVEN THOUGH I'M DYING TO DO IT!!! 😭😭😭 With great power comes great responsibility. 😭😭😭

ALSO, in the audios we understood “Niamey”, but according to Cornelia, the Prince is called “Nyame”! 🧸 I'll never get over when she said she revealed his name because I asked her to. 🥺🥺🥺 I'll take this to my grave. 😭😭😭😭😭

girl his name is WHAT

like... y'know, nya(me)

i'm gonna lose my mind. i love him. i'm gonna go back to edit that chapter as soon as i have more time.

also GOOD FOR VIOLANTE i'm excited to see it! i personally think her fling with the prince was probably very healing but, yeah, they're no longterm relationship material. i'm pretty positive that they're gonna stay friends (esp since jacopo is now hanging out with the motley folk).

if you want to message me details i'd appreciate it, i've been collecting spoilers since 2018, but please don't feel pressured to haha. some mystery is cool as well

[calif0rnia-lovers]

#1: the proposal | plan b.

pairing: angel reyes x black!reader | chapter rating: 💙

total # of parts in series: 10

join my gc for updates since tags are acting weird

I keep falling for boys and mistaking them for men

series sum: After several failed relationships, you decide that you’re over waiting for Mr. Right to come around and help start a family. In a drunken ramble, you ask your best friend if he’ll be your donor. You didn’t expect him to say yes. As you and Angel enter uncharted waters, you both realize neither of you fully thought the initial proposal through.

words: 1.8 K

What is it they say…hope breeds eternal misery.

Or, as Angel Reyes likes to say, “I don’t know why you’re wasting time on that asshole.”

Asshole is the nicest term you can dub your boyfriend--correction, your ex-boyfriend.

Ex-boyfriend.

It’s strange how quickly two letters--a simple prefix--can change your life.

One minute, you’re joining your boyfriend and his family on a getaway to the beach. The next, you’re being kindly escorted out of a restaurant for tossing a drink in his face.

When you’d left Santo Padre Friday afternoon, you had a single thought in your mind. He’s finally going to propose. The nervous behavior, the talks about moving to a bigger apartment, him inviting you to a weekend getaway with his family.

How else would a rational person explain this behavior?

Well, according to Michael, all of those things do not add up to a proposal. They add up to “softening the blow."

As you sit on the curb waiting for your uber, with Michael's big splurge of the evening in hand--a bottle of Cabernet, you realize his explanation was complete bullshit. How is dragging you to Santa Monica for the weekend "softening the blow?" If he was going to break up with you, he could have done it in Santo Padre.

As you double-check the ETA on your uber, you remember.

Michael didn't drag you to Santa Monica to break up with you. He dragged you to Santa Monica to ask you to "take a break."

Apparently, there's a difference.

As Michael put it, with his birthday fast approaching, he'd had an epiphany. He needed time to "get out there" and "explore" his options.

"We're in our thirties," he'd explained. "We only have a few years left before we're expected to settle down, have kids. I think we should take this time to get everything out of our system, so by the time we come back together, we're ready to start that family you're always talking about."

The nervousness you'd seen the past two weeks? Had nothing to do with hiding a ring, or trying to find the perfect opportunity to pop the question. The nervousness was Michael trying to find the right time to ask you not to renew the lease of the apartment, you share, at the end of the month.

The talk about upgrading to a bigger apartment? Had nothing to do with having an extra room for the kid you've both talked about having. It was so that he could move in with his two best friends.

Michael’s epiphany left you in shock. You were caught between realizing the entire revelation wasn’t a complete joke and realizing you were expected to ride home with his family in the morning. The drink tossing didn’t come until Michael rubbed his hands together, a knowing smile sliding onto his face.

Taking your shocked silence as a lack of protest to his idea, Michael nodded over his shoulder. “You wanna head back up to the room...have some fun our last night together?”

The weight of Samantha--wait. No. Savanna...Sabrina? No, Salena.

The weight of Salena’s body presses Angel into the mattress. Her body is nearly directly on top of his, her face nuzzled into the warmth of his neck.

He’s not used to women sleeping over. Angel has one rule. He wants to sleep alone. Translation, be gone when he wakes in the morning.

That’s why, when he wakes to the sound of a slamming door, Angel is pissed.

His initial thought is that Salena let the door slam on her way out. The only problem is, Salena is still in bed with him--sleeping soundly. If she wasn’t, he would have been up able to react quicker. Because if it’s not Salena leaving, it means that someone is coming in.

“You need to go,” Angel mumbles as he manages to escape her grip.

Salena responds by rolling over and ignoring his request.

When he leaves his bedroom, Angel finds his entire house in darkness. His hand runs down his face as your voice fills the air.

"Ow--shit!" Your keys and purse fall to the floor as you bump into the coffee table.

"Y/N, what are you doing?"

“What are you doing?” You counter the slurring of your speech causing Angel’s head to shake. “...standing in the dark like a fucking creep.”

“Are you drunk?”

Your head shakes. Even if half-asleep, Angel knows you’re not drunk. You’re hammered, at least by your standards. He’s known you long enough to realize you’re a lightweight. A two and a half-hour ride with a bottle of Cabernet meant you were well past your limit.

“And why are you back early--did you drive here?”

“No,” you scoff. “I took an uber obviously--”

A second trip into the coffee table silences the rest of your response.

“Alright, come on--” Angel takes your hand in his, preventing you from falling forward.

“I don’t need your help.” Yanking your hand free of his grip--with more force than necessary--you stumble backward. Between the late hour and his body still attempting to shake off its grogginess, the action is too fast for Angel to predict. “Or any man’s help for that matter...fucking men--always thinking they need to save me--”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you--and fucking...fucking Michael--that piece of shit...” Despite your previous attempt to escape him, you turn on your heels causing Angel to bump into you. Instinctively, his hands find your waist. An innocent attempt to help maintain your balance. “--I said I don’t need help walking, Angel--”

“Clearly.” The smirk on his lips narrows your eyes.

The pathetic attempt of a shove you apply to his chest is enough to tip your already unsteady balance.

In his defense, Angel isn’t used to “rescuing” you from a drunk faceplant. Usually, the roles are reversed.

It may not be the smartest move, but it’s the quickest way to prevent another one of your escape attempts. Angel tightens his grip on your waist, pulling a small yelp from your lips as he lifts you off the ground throwing you over his shoulder.

The sudden shift in your posture blurs your vision--sending the room spinning. The rush of blood to your head causes your palm to come down hard in frustration against Angel’s back.

“Put me down…” Angel’s head shakes as your slurred speech trails off for a moment. Seizing the break in your resistance, he carries you across the darkened room towards the security of the sofa. “...what the hell are you doing in my house anyway?”

“This is my house.” Angel huffs as he lowers you onto the sofa. “If you get up, I’m not stopping you. I'm serious, I'll let you bust your ass this time.”

But moving from the sofa has already left your mind. Instead, your focus has drifted. Scanning the living room as Angel disappears. Despite his words, you're still not sure why you've ended up at his house and not yours.

“Here drink this,” Angel sighs as he returns. He hopes the glass of water will miraculously sober you up. Between failing to kick Salena out, and you showing up drunk at 3 in the morning, Angel is considering giving up women. At least for a few hours.

Angel’s steps come to a slow halt as he rounds the sofa to find you gone. Somehow, in the time it took him to fill a glass with water, you have slid down to the floor. Your back against the sofa, you’ve given up the impossible task of unfastening your heels. Instead, you’re tugging at them. Groans of frustration fill the air once the heels remain in place.

The shaky breaths and trembling of your fingers widen Angel’s eyes.

“Shit--are you crying?”

“I’m not crying.” The shaking of your head only seems to push the tears out faster. The blurring of your vision makes the task at hand impossible. “I’m not crying.”

“My bad, you’re not crying,” Angel repeats, hopeful it’ll make the crying stop. Handling a crying woman is not his strongest suit. In fact, he tries to avoid crying women at all costs. He focuses on the easier task of removing your heels. He offers you an encouraging smile once he’s done. “See, you’re all good.”

“No, I’m not.” Reaching forward, you grab the nearest heel, launching it as hard as you can. “Michael got me these.”

You manage to grab the second heel before Angel can. You launch it in the same direction as the first.

“I’ve always hated those ugly fucking shoes.”

The second heel doesn’t land in the middle of the floor like its predecessor. Instead, it flies straight into Salena’s arm as she rounds the corner.

“Ow--what the fuck? Angel!”

The overhead light cuts on, temporarily blinding both you and Angel. When you open your eyes, you find a half-dressed Salena standing over you. Your discarded heel in her left hand, her narrowed eyes focused on you.

"So, this is why you wanted me to leave? Your girlfriend is home?"

"Neither of us is his girlfriend, sweetheart." you correct.

“I’m not sleeping in your bed ever again,” you clarify, your voice muffled against your palms. “Not until you wash your sheets.”

In the time it took to get Salena out of the house you’ve found that your body has begun to crash. The idea of laying down the only thought of your mind. That’s why the moment he’s settled alongside you on the floor, Angel’s shoulder becomes your pillow.

“Please don’t say I told you so.”

Passing up the opportunity to be right, is not in Angel’s nature. But one look at you, he’s biting his tongue.

“I never liked him.”

“You've never liked anyone I’ve dated,” you laugh quietly.

“That’s because you only date assholes.”

“Takes one to know one.”

“Exactly.”

Angel's arm drapes around you, the gentle squeeze he gives bringing a weak smile to your lips.

“That’s it,” you sigh. “I’m done dating. Forever.”

“Dating is overrated,” Angel notes.

It’s a phrase Angel has told you nearly a million times over the years. Typically, after you’ve watched him ensnare yet another naive woman with his smile. You typically roll your eyes at Angel's mantra, but right now, you don’t even bother.

“I’m serious, if you see me even blinking at the same guy twice grab me.”

“Yeah, okay,” Angel chuckles.

He knows there's no point in taking the promise any further. If Angel is a cynic when it comes to dating, you’re the poster child for hopeless romantics.

When you fall in love, you fall hard. When you get heartbroken, the fallout hits the hardest.

“I can’t wait until my forties to have a kid.”

“What?”

“I’ll be in my sixties when they graduate high school--my sixties!”

“That’s what this is about?”

“...he doesn’t want kids...at least not right now...he wants time to explore other options before being shackled to me forever.”

“I’m going to kick his fucking ass.”

“When you do, can I watch?”

“Fuck that, you’re getting in a few hits.”

“I can’t believe I wasted three years on him, thinking he was going to help me start a family,” you groan. “When I could’ve just asked you.”

Angel laughs, his smile growing as you giggle.

“I’m serious. Definitely would’ve happened faster.”

“If you want to have sex with me, there are much easier ways--”

“Shut up, it is not about sex,” you assure him as your eyes drift shut. “I actually pride myself in being one of the few women in this town you haven’t slept with. Being immune to your charm is a superpower.”

“You still ended up here tonight,” Angel grins.

You softly smile.

“That’s because you’re my best friend, and you always give the best hugs when I feel like shit.”

series taglist: @youlovetkay @mochachocolatteyaya @chaneajoyyy @sesamepancakes

angel + all mayans tags: @turn-thy-paige @finalgirlhales @jadesid @poetically-0riginal @diaryofkali @babaohhhriley @katastrophic04 @partypoison00 @rose-bliss @mayansxlover @joannasteez @headrushxreeta @brwnlikefoxy @nemesis729 @destiny-tsukino @inyourbackpocketisbutterflies @straightestgay-voice

all stories: @rosieposie0624 @amberritonicole @agoldin @est1887@toni9 @chaneajoyyy @relaxing-najee @awkwardtayler @siempremamita @seize-the-droid @glimmerglittergirl @cutiebubbleboo @pearlkitten33 @tian-monique @megapeacelovemusic-blog @sincerelykas @brattyfics @ladyofsoa@browneyes912 @beiroviski @sadeyesgf @mrsmarvelous1995 @everyhowlmarksthedead @ourlittlesecretsoveragain @demonquartz @appropriate-writers-name @ughdontbeboring @cocotheclown @thesandbeneathmytoes @queenbeered @starrynite7114 @wiccanmetallicrose @tomhardydallasstarsgirl

[kojinnie]

Something About Pain | Reiner Braun

Pairing: Reiner Braun x Reader (she/her pronoun)

Summary: You ran away from home and your boyfriend Reiner Braun is desperate to bring you home. When the two of you meet, you share a conversation about how pain inflicts the two of you differently.

Tags & Warning: Angst, (eventual) fluff, (mild) hurt/comfort, slow burn, major miscommunication problem, past trauma, abandonment issue, mention of anxiety, Reiner is a grumpy, hurt individual yet delicate inside | SFW

Word Count: 4.5K

A/N: Based on the request by @okubean for Twisted Match-Up! I hope you like it, boo! (More A/N at the end of the fic)

.::My Masterlist::.

Twisted Match-Up (x Reader): Zeke | Hange | Jean 

There was a vivid look of worry on the face of Reiner Braun as he drove through the empty neighborhood streets. His right hand on the steering wheel, the other one tapping anxiously on the phone, dialing the same number over and over again to no avail.

All of his calls had gone straight to your mailbox, and his text messages were no longer delivered. Reiner came to realize that you've blocked him. "Idiot," he muttered to himself, cursing this whole modern affinity to accommodate people running from their problems easier. Reiner thought the feature was the stupidest thing ever created by humankind, he was pissed, but more annoyed. He realized how tired he was, and if he could, he'd rather be in bed right now. Not roaming your friend's neighborhood at ungodly hour.

"Where... the fuck... are you..." he was pissed, evident from the grunt as he tried one final desperate attempt to call you. It went straight to your mailbox. Your cheery voice didn't make him feel any better, if any, Reiner wished he could tell the mailbox-you to shut the hell up.

Reiner finally hit the brake, sighing annoyed. His black SUV stopped underneath the streetlamp, at a random neighborhood he could only vaguely remember. He had been here before, when he picked you up from your bestfriend's house after one of your "night out" with your friends from college, but he could barely remember which one of these identical suburban houses did she live.

He rested his forehead on the steering wheel, racking his brain trying to remember the house number. Is this even the correct cul-de-sac? There are tens others. Who the fuck came up with the concept of suburban housing? Strips and strips of uniformed houses. And even worse, who the fuck thought that it was such a great idea to live in one? Like some Stepford Wives nightmare. Reiner couldn't believe some people would save up money for all their lives to pay off their mortgage to live in complete conformity, like a communist utopia with capitalist credit system. Were these people right in the head or had their brains fucked over by the boring 9 to 5 jobs they've had for decades?

That's beside the point. Reiner sighed. He ranted a lot when frustrated.

He knew you'd be there, in one of these houses, curled up crying in your bestfriend's bed, perhaps pouring your heart out on how much of a bad boyfriend Reiner was. He knew because you've passed the micro-aggression millionth times, muttering under your breath, saying that you'd be fine if Reiner kicks you out because your bestfriend would take you. What kind of fuckery was all that? Why would he ever kick you out? Reiner thought. He was clueless. Why were you so adamant that he would leave you eventually? Reiner could feel his annoyance grew while reminiscing your antics. He began to think, maybe he had never understood you to begin with.

But Reiner was wrong, because he was right about a lot of things about you. You were exactly in your bestfriend's house, curled up in her bed, ranting how hard it was being with Reiner. Although the tears had dried since hours ago. You were in your PJs and drinking the hot coco your friend had made you, comfortable in the bliss of obliviousness upon the fact that your boyfriend of one year was now driving aimlessly trying to locate your position. You were adamant that he was going to leave you anyway, you thought he wouldn't exert an ounce of energy trying to plea you home.

It was 4 AM in the morning and you hadn't come home. The trace of you had gone completely from Reiner's apartment since early morning. Reiner knew that this was bound to happen, had he done anything differently - would you stay? He thought of you and the state that the two of you had been tangled in. All the unresolved tension, or the persistent insinuations coming from you that you always shrugged off in the end, saying "Nothing." as if it did not matter, each time Reiner shot them with, "What did you say?"

You sipped your hot coco and let a troubled whimper as you told your bestfriend what was happening. It's the culmination of small things, your feeling of inadequacy and the anxiety of waking up every morning, being convinced that each day would be the day that Reiner finally leaves you. Every day you’d be mentally preparing yourself for the ultimate fate until Reiner returns home with his big, warm hug until your anxiety caves in. And that the anxiety would appear again in the next morning.

The idea of him leaving became incessant and you could never bug it off. You wondered why, maybe because you believed that you were inherently flawed. Maybe it's the way Reiner made that small "Tsk," when he came home to see the garbage piled up, "Babe, didn't I tell you to put out the garbage?"; or the deep, annoyed and condescending sighs he made when he missed his favorite show because you forgot to pay the cable bills while he was out at the office.

Maybe it's the way you couldn't match his sharp memory and reliability with you constantly forgetting things and your seeming inattentiveness despite the abundant reminders, notes and alarms you've made to keep yourself alerted. At times, your mind just wandered, and you needed him to rope you back in, but he never got the gist.

So, you were adamant that you had grown to be nothing but inconvenience for him, hence when he spent the night over at his office due to what he called "Shit load of work" over the phone, you were certain he wouldn't come back at all. You knew that the pain of being abandoned would haunt you to myriad of miseries, so you'd rather leave first. You knew it would be the end you both needed, because you knew Reiner did not care about you enough to tolerate your shit any longer. He was always quiet, there was hardly ever any expression on his face, God knows what he was thinking underneath. Each of your "Reiner, I'm sorry." would only be met by a singular hum or a quick, "It's okay." that left you wondering, did he ever mean it at all?

So that morning you left. While he was still at the office, because you knew there was no feelings strong enough for Reiner to keep him from leaving you eventually. You left first.

Your bestfriend nodded in reassurance, "You gotta do what you gotta do." she said pulling you into a warmly hug, but your attention was suddenly caught by the pile of plastics and packages from your take-outs at the corner of your friend's room. It just bothered your mind, and you got up to take it out. A small token of atonement to what you wish you had done to Reiner.

Your bestfriend immediately scrambled and took the garbage away from you. Insisting for you to stay in bed and let her take care of it. You nodded and retreated to the pillow fortress. You felt bad for her because the temperature was dropping, and there was no necessity to take the garbage out right now, but your impulse was often hard to subside, and your friend had grown to acknowledge and take sympathy over that. Unlike Reiner, you thought.

Maybe it's because Reiner never shown anyone openly about what he felt, but what you did not know, sometimes he wish he had. Sometimes he wished he'd opened up about how hard it is for him to breathe when unfortunate things occur that he did not have the answer to. Sometime he wished he could share his fear, worry, anger and disappointment, but he was always thought that a man got to suck it up, and perseverance was the only way he knew how to survive.

Sometimes he wished he had told somebody that the constant worrying about his loved ones consumed him too, to the point it became hard for him to let his guard down even when things are okay. He was always on alert, and sometimes it got exhausting too for him. He wished he had told all that, so in times like these he did not have to assume the heartbreak alone while trying to find the solution to it. Sometimes he wished people knew that he cared too, he loved too, he knew too when someone he loved was struggling, but he never learned how to show it. Reiner knew your mind often raced hundreds of miles per hour, Reiner knew your state of agitation, but he never had anyone to teach him how affection should look like, other than be of service, which he tried his best at being. It was no wonder that Reiner was left clueless when you chose to leave without warning.

He was pissed because he knew how daft he was, yet none of it was ever intentional. He cursed himself for not knowing what went wrong, for not being more observant, for not being open with his feelings, for not telling you how much he had grown to love you and how much his apartment immediately grew cold at your absence. But mostly, at this moment, he cursed himself because he wasn't attentive enough to know you friend's house number.

The air was crisp when your bestfriend stepped out of her porch. She made quick steps to the garbage can when she saw bright headlights coming in from the end of the street. She grunted, wondering what was her neighbor doing, cruising around with dramatically low speed. It seemed odd.

She put her fingers above her eyes, trying to recognize the plate number or the driver, but the black SUV lights were dispersing her sight.

She closed the garbage can and tried to immediately return inside but the car cruised closer and pulled over in front of her. The window rolled open.

"Hey," There was an immediate look of surprise from the person that Reiner barely recognized. But he was sure enough that it was her, judging from her body language; all tensed and alerted, "This is Reiner."

For a moment, there was an awkward silence between Reiner and your bestfriend. She was considering carefully on what to say next.

"Uhm yeah, I know." Your bestfriend finally spoke, her voice creaked, caught by surprise. "What do you want?"

Reiner spoke your name, "I want to meet my girlfriend." Reiner could hear the desperation in his own voice, but your friend jeered in response.

"My girlfriend." she passingly mocked the way Reiner spoke, she came to dislike what she thought was possessiveness in Reiner's nature of speaking, "She's not available. I suggest you to scram. Before my neighbors complain."

Reiner furrowed his brows in dismay, couldn't seem to understand the hostility presented by your friend, "I need to talk to her."

She stood unyielding. Reiner opened the door and climbed off of the car, sighing as he walked closer, propelling your friend to keep her distance away even further. "Please, let me talk to her."

"Not a chance." She turned around and scurried back into the house. Reiner was quick to yell, to her expected dismissal. Without thinking further, Reiner got back to behind the wheel and moved his car forward on to the curb, proceeding to close off the exit way for her small city car in the driveway.

Reiner jumped off the car as your besfriend realized what he had done, "I'm not moving the car until she comes down."

She let out a restraint shrieked, "What the fuck?! I got a dentist appointment tomorrow morning!"

"Then please, tell her to come down and talk to me," Reiner said, sounding almost apologetic. He threw a glance at a lonely swing set in the small park across the street, "there."

The occurrence happening before your eyes was unexpected to say the least. You closed the small slit from your bestfriend's window fold, trying to manage your heartbeat that had become almost deafening. At the same time your bestfriend appeared from the door, face red with flustered, "I think he really wants to see you."

Thousands of thoughts made a commotion in your head. It did not make any sense. You made it easier for Reiner by walking away with clean slate, you were sure this was what he had hoped secretly.

Your friend shuffled inside and shot you a deep stare, she sighed heavily and told you that whether you liked it or not, you had to face him. Reiner looked genuinely worried, she said, twisting your guts even further.

You sat in her bed for a moment, trying to relive every waking moment with Reiner. Sure there were moments when your own thoughts chased you into a deep corner and you wished Reiner had seen it. Sometimes you wished he’d hold you tight, kiss you with reassurance and told you how meaningful you were to him. Sure, sometimes being with Reiner could feel lonely, but he had never treated you back nor was he ever intentionally mean to you. What do I want? The question hung heavy in your mind.

I want him to say that he wants me, the voice within the nook of your brain said, I want him to say that he loves me.

You nodded, finally ceasing from running away further.

             Reiner never thought that at his 20-something he would sit miserably on a random swing-set at a random neighborhood just an hour before the dusk cracked. Reiner was a big man, but even with his figure and the aid of his tailored suit and shirt, wrinkled after gruesome hours at work trying to keep his company afloat on the thin ice of his personal relationship with you – Reiner was tired, and miserable, and desperate. Even more, he was cold as the temperature continued to drop down.

He hung his head low, trying to fight the shivers. It was quiet, too quiet, only the faint sound of the wind and the creaking sound of the swing-set holding off to its dear life under Reiner’s massive weight. The man sighed, never he thought that the sight of you coming out of someone’s house in the dead of a  night would be a spectacle he looked forward to the most.

He closed his eyes, shutting himself off from any sound and thought. Thinking that maybe in the bleakness of his sense, the time would pass faster and your heart would soften.

In the nothingness Reiner could feel a sudden warmth crept from the tips of his fingers, he opened his eyes to see you standing before his eyes, towering him who was sitting like a pathetic boy on the swing. You were wrapped in a fluffy bathrobe, hiding your PJs underneath. In your hands were two cups of scalding tea, you shoved one into his hand, “You came.” You stated.

Reiner let out a deep sigh of relief as he saw you safe and sound. He felt warmth travelled across his body, he did not know whether it was the tea in his hand or simply the sight of you that made him felt so. His eyes latched on to you as you sat on the swing next to him, “Hey. What are you doing?” Reiner asked.

“Running away.”

“Why?”

Reiner looked at you intently, and the guilt started to consume you. You gazed afar, softly shook your head, “Dunno.”

“I see.”

Yet another silence ensued.

“How’s work?”

Reiner sighed again; the heavy breath seemed to be the only way the two of you communicated. Just two troubled minds pouring their burden at each other, “Bertholdt abruptly resigned—fuck, it’s been a nightmare, but—” Reiner pressured his thumb over his brows, trying to ease his sharp migraine that suddenly came, “—that doesn’t matter now. Will you come home?”

He looked at you again, you were still gazing to god-knows-what, everything other than his eyes. Reiner grew antsy on his seat, the swing creaked again. Please look at me. Please look at me. The words resonated incessantly in Reiner’s head but nothing came out of his mouth. Just a stoic, to-the-point question.

Don’t you wanna know the problem, Reiner? Is that all? I said I don’t know and you didn’t even try to dig in deeper? You came all the way here and you just straight up asking me to go home with you? Your mind was nowhere better. It’s in uproar but there was only silence coming out of your mouth. But he came, he didn’t leave. Contradiction danced inside your mind like an unwanted guest.

The silence grew heavier. You saw the lights from your bestfriend’s bedroom lit off, she had got to be tired eventually. Suddenly, you felt so alone. Just the two of you in this odd morning.

“It’s hard, right?” Reiner broke the silence, he looked at you again, this time he was desperate for you to look into his eyes. Little did he know, you were refusing to do so because you could feel your fragility forming in your eyes. You swore not to cry.

“What?” Just a depthless answer you uttered.

“Growing up.” Reiner muttered. The man sounded almost contemplative in his defeat. He sighed again and shook his head, “I thought I’d be someone better by this time in my life.”

The answer surprised you. You thought he would say something like ‘Relationship is hard’ or some jargons he picked up from one of the movies he watched without you. You felt bad for undermining him just because you were upset with him. Does it really mirror your true perception of him? Maybe you really hadn’t known him that well.

You had no resolve to his statement, so you just nodded, allowing him to pour out his thoughts.

“I thought I’d be better with my job, with myself, and most importantly,” he shifted to lurch towards you on his seat, the wire strings of the swing twisted to your direction, “with the people I love. But obviously, I still… suck.”

“And here I am. 4 AM. A fucking adult on a fucking neighborhood swing-set.”

You could feel the air suctioned out of your lungs, as you felt guilt loomed bigger inside you. He came and he felt bad – what more could I ask for? But then you remembered the nights of loneliness despite having Reiner sleeping next to you. You had a bad day, but you were too prideful to come clean. You wanted him to be intuitive, but he never did. Being with Reiner, you had mastered the art of crying in silence while sharing the bed with him. It’s exhausting. Yeah, Rei, maybe you’re bad at this.

Despite that, you stayed silent.

“Will you hate me if I say I don’t know what’s wrong?” Reiner knew how daft he sounded, “God. I’m pushing my luck coming clean at you.”

You were at loss for words. You had so many things to say, but too few of a courage.

Reiner called your name. He reached over and tried to tangle one of your fingers with his. From your periphery sight, you could see him forcing a smile, “I—”

He sighed again. Reiner’s chest was filled with words and all he wanted was to vomit it out, but he never knew how to properly addressed the feelings he had—he couldn’t even describe what he felt. All he knew was one thing: he wanted you home, back in his arms, “I am a stupid man. I really don’t know what’s happening between us. You.. just.. gone. Please, just tell me what’s wrong. I’m not smart enough for all these..”

There was almost a childish plea in Reiner’s words, and you couldn’t help but to threw a faint smile. You chuckled, “What did you say? You’re—what?”

He scoffed at himself, “I am stupid.”

You finally caved in because you realized there was an undeniable genuineness in the way he spoke. And the sentiment was mutual, you felt stupid as well for you had not realized how completely, utterly, truly clueless Reiner was.

Eventually, you looked at him. His hardened face quickly turned wary to finally see how puffy your eyes were from crying earlier, you forced a smile, but it was clear you were pretending, “You make me feel so lonely sometimes.”

The words came out of your mouth like a canonball that had been stuck in your chest for too long. You felt relief, but on the other side, Reiner could feel his heart broke. A pain from a man realizing too late of the damage he had caused.

You thought of everything that had made you feel so. The way Reiner rolled over in bed away from you, drowsy and unaware, when you called him in the dead night as your anxiety kicked in; when his hand let you go as you tried to hold his hands in public; the complete non-existing mention of you in his social media; the take-outs that he mindlessly brought home when you had cooked dinner; his easiness in dropping a problem after he said sorry without checking up with you further.

It was the absent of his intuition that made you felt invisible – but you realized too late that maybe he was truly oblivious, evident as he said, “But how?”

“You really don’t know?”

“Babe,” he further tangled your fingers into his grasp. Your hand and his, they hung in the middle of the two swing seats, “I swear on my mother’s grave.”

“I’ve always thought you wanted to leave me but never got the right moment to it. The affection—I hardly ever got it from you. Not the affirming words, not the reassurance. Hell, maybe I want that public kiss and hugs that you thought was stupid, Rei. Just—”

You could feel the tears forming, choking you mercilessly, “—just to feel loved. To feel wanted. For once.”

You finally let your tears dropped. And Reiner was slapped with realities that both of you were in. He let go of your hand and stared down at the pavement, “I’m sorry. I never knew.”

“You never asked.”

“But I never knew. How am I supposed to know that I should ask when I didn’t know I should ask on the first place? I’ve always thought you wanted to be left alone when all your crazy thoughts come in—but you—”

“—you—"

Reiner groaned, obviously frustrated. He rested the blabber, “Maybe we’re just not good at this.”

Like a train, you could feel the ending coming to hit you. This is it. This is it. You thought to yourself, picturing how Reiner would finally leave you. You secretly wished Reiner wouldn’t give in, you wish he’d put up more fight, so at least you’d know that you carried a weight in his heart. But you knew this was bound to happen, so why were you so upset?

“Maybe.” You wiped your tears dry, “That’s okay, Reiner. I know that’s what I am.”

“What?”

“I’m just an embarkation point, right? Everyone will leave me eventually. That’s why I left, because I know eventually, we’ll be talking about this. So I’d better leave first.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Reiner grew even more frustrated with the way you danced around your words.

“It’s okay if you want to leave me. That’s what all people do to me.”

“You left because you think I was planning to leave you all along?” Reiner asked, sounding painfully offended as he finally got to gather what you were insinuating, “So that is the problem?”

“Yeah, so I better leave first, right? Before I get hurt again? Before you leave me like other people and—”

“Fuck other people!” Reiner raised his voice, which he immediately regretted. He ran his fingers over his hair irritated, turning it into a complete blond mess, “Are you trying to avenge your revenge for other people—those exes you’ve had—on me?”

Tears welled up again in your eyes, as you looked away from him. But he called on your name again, this time there was a deep sternness in his call that you couldn’t help but to face him. Reiner was glad that you finally gained courage to speak the truth, when he had not, “So you want reassurance, yeah? How about the times I told you how beautiful, how smart, how great you are – only for you to tell yourself the opposite immediately.”

Reiner looked directly into your eyes, “I can’t make you something you’re not. What you are is who you think you are.”

“You can never matter – if you don’t think you do.”

An expressionless, soundless tear fell onto your cheek. A heart broke to your dismay. Reiner finally said the truth and there was no way you could delude yourself into thinking that he was wrong, “Then… why don’t you just leave me, Rei? Why don’t you get rid of me a long time ago?”

“Because I’m giving you something that I never received in my entire life, ever. I’m staying for you.” There was a palpable pain in the way Reiner spoke. He landed his finger on to your heart and you could feel it pierced through your skin with heavy realization, “I’m staying. Like no one ever did in my life. Not my ex-girlfriends, not my friends, and certainly not my father. That’s what makes us different. I have more faith in you than you have in me.”

Reiner was a man with heavy heart. He had been through a lot of things in his life, learned how to fend on for himself since very young, and dreamed of the day when he could finally put his hair down with someone he cared for. And what you hadn’t realize, was how essentially similar you were to him. How both of you longed for someone to let go of your inhibitions and fear? Just two broken people finding refuge in each other’s longing for the same thing. And that’s what you failed to see. He understood you, just in a way you didn’t understand.

And that’s the thing about pain, they are inherently personal. No matter how much you have shared yourself to others.

The two of you went dead silent for a moment. In the horizon, the sun rays were starting to emerge, the morning had arrived.  Your tears cascaded painfully slow; Reiner was looking at his feet trying to sip his tea that had gone cold. His hands were trembling with both sadness and anger that were beginning to secede.

Reiner finally called your name, this time it was delicate, “I’m sorry, alright?”

You looked at him with tears in your eyes as you nodded, “Alright.”

“Will you come home, now?”

“Yes,” you muttered, “I think I will.”

The two of you got up and Reiner immediately drew you into his chest, holding you the tightest you had ever been held, reconnecting all the broken pieces scattered inside you. You buried your face into his strong chest as you sobbed once more, while he kissed the top of your head with affection more vivid than thousands of words of affirmations.

“What do we do with these hearts, Rei?” You asked as you felt your chest throbbing with pain and love.

The man loosened his embrace and smiled, “Persevere.”

A/N:

First of all thank you so much to @okubean for giving me a hellish prompt! This one really made me faced my own abandonment issue and poured it into a writing. I tried to touch about the absent-mindedness as the implication of ADHD but I’m really worried that it doesn’t really do it justice. So hereby my sincere apologies! 😭🙏

Nonetheless, I really hope that you may enjoy this piece and I’m so sorry if it comes off as boring!

I literally drafted this on the metro, and got really carried away with it!

Did I enjoy it? (Yes)

Did this turn out longer than I expected? (Yes)

Am I worried this will bore people? (Yes)

[delaber]

Can’t Have Your Cake and Another Cake Too

Rafael Casal x Reader

Note: Okay, I’ll stop breaking Rafa’s heart now... Last time, I swear! Thanks for the prompts to these lovely anons. Alhough this is not a prequel to Poetic Justice (Rafa x ER Nurse), poor Rafa’s facing some of the same issues. I very loosely based this story on J. Cole’s Kevin’s Heart (don’t know why I’m always incorporating J. Cole into my fics, but apparently he’s always lurking in the back of my mind) and Phlake’s So Faded. Let me know what you think!

Words: 4.7K

Warnings: Cocaine addiction! Does not have a happy ending (nobody ODs and nobody’s dying ...Only on the inside lol)

Tagging: No one! This might not be for everybody and I don’t want anybody to feel forced to read it 😌

It was supposed to be a great night out. The entire gang was there, and at the instigation of Diggs, Rafa was supposed to be on the prowl to get laid so he could take his mind off of his broken heart.

From his seat in the booth, Rafa had a fairly good view of the dance floor and he had already spotted a few honeys who likewise had acknowledged him by smiling and sending him a couple of long looks. One of them had even twirled her hair between her fingers while blowing him a kiss. He had the green light, all systems were go!

However, of all the things that could've thrown him off his game, Rafa would not have placed a single bet on a phone call. But the minute he pulled out his vibrating phone and checked the caller ID, both the group of honeys on the dance floor and his friends occupying the seats all around him were completely forgotten. Nothing else mattered anymore.

He stared at the screen for a while, reading the name over and over again. What the fuck was Morris calling him for? Rafa had told him to stop. Morris knew he was too weak to say no even though he had promised his girl that he'd stop for good.

...Or, you weren't his girl. Not anymore.

But Rafa was still determined to win you back no matter if you had stopped answering his phone calls or not, so he took a tough decision and pressed the decline button beneath Morris' name. He even contemplated putting his phone on flight-mode to remove all unwelcome temptations - he knew you'd never take him back if he fell back in - yet, for some reason taking himself off the grid was easier said than done, and before he had pulled himself together to actually press the little airplane button, a text from Morris had ticked in. It only consisted of two words but Rafa understood perfectly.

'New candy.'

Fuck... Rafa considered the pros and cons of accepting for a few milliseconds before he came to his senses. No, no, no. The only way he'd ever win you back would be by showing you that he could stay sober even after your break-up. Morris could fuck off! As if awaking from a trance, Rafa hurriedly put his phone back in his pocket and desperately tried to forget about Morris' enticing offer by telling himself that he was strong enough to shake it.

...although deep down, he was aware that it was already too late. That no matter what, he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it now. And no matter how hard he tried to re-focus on the honeys on the dance floor and tell himself how stupid it was to hit Morris up, it was no use, the damage was done; he was desperate to get high!

Deeply, horribly ashamed of himself, Rafa texted Morris the address of the club and impatiently waited a couple of minutes before he walked outside with heavy footsteps. It felt as if he was walking to the gallows, the shame eating him up from the inside. You'd be so disappointed in him!

However, in order to make himself accept what he was about to do, he reminded himself that apparently, you didn't care if he was high or not. If you did, you would've returned his phone calls, and you would've reacted to the fact that he had been sober for three weeks now - but you hadn't. And with that in mind, Rafa managed to push away most of the shame as he laid eyes on Morris' sketchy Subaru parked by the curb on the other side of the road. He walked across the street with determined footsteps, carefully looking over his shoulder to check if anybody he knew were watching him approach what was clearly a dealer's car.

"What's up, bruh!" Morris called as he rolled down his window. He was wearing sunglasses, looking like an absolute turd in the dark night.

Rafa put his arms on the car's beltline and shot Morris a bro handshake through the open window, "what the fuck are you wearing sunglasses at night for? You look like a dick."

"Nah, man, it looks cool," Morris laughed, "do you like them? Hell, you should like them - you paid for them."

"What do you mean I paid for them?"

"With the amount of money you spend in my shop, I think it's safe to assume that you paid for these sunglasses and the rims on the ride too," Morris snorted.

"Yeah, about that," Rafa looked away, the embarrassment slowly creeping up his spine again, "you gotta stop calling me."

"You said that last time as well but look at you now," Morris laughed.

"Come on man, it's important that I stop."

"You don't wanna stop though."

Rafa let out a sigh, "look, I'm trying to prove something to my girlf- ...ex-girlfriend."

"A'ight, I respect that," Morris nodded slowly but then he quickly continued, "so did you just call me here to pin your lady troubles on me? Cause I have a customer waiting up on Seventh Ave."

Rafa blew out some air, embarrassed by the decision he was about to make.

"...Or do you wanna buy?" Morris continued as he read Rafa's body language.

"...you're not gonna tell Diggs are you?"

"Do I look like a fucking snitch?" Morris looked offended, "and you know me and Diggs don't talk no more."

"Yeah, alright. This stays between us, okay? If word gets out, I'm fucked."

"A'ight bruh," Morris laughed, "Now, how much do you need?"

"Just... just give me an eightball," Rafa mumbled.

Morris let out a small laugh, "an eightball? Man, you're not about to quit," he chuckled and handed Rafa a zip-lock bag with white powder in it.

"Shut up," Rafa mumbled and pocketed the baggie, "how much?"

"Rafa, you're my man, so I'mma give you a discount because I feel bad for you and your girl. Three hundo."

"Three hundred?! Last time it was two-eighty without the discount."

"Times are changing. I haven't seen you in three weeks, man. Plus, this is a good batch," Morris poked Rafa in the chest, "my contact got it shipped in directly from Medellín. Look, it got fish scale and everything!"

"You better not fuck me over," Rafa muttered and threw Morris three hundred-dollar bills before he turned away from him with an annoyed huff.

"Pleasure doing business as always, Casal! See you next weekend!" Morris yelled after Rafa with a small laugh, apparently not a care in the world for who knew about their illegal transaction.

"Fucking idiot," Rafa muttered to himself without turning around. He had more important things to do than to scold Morris about his indiscretion.

Rafa hurried to the restroom and carefully locked the door behind him before he frantically pulled out the zip-lock bag. He examined its contents and saw the pearl-like surface that Morris had talked about - Fuck it looked good! He opened the bag carefully but froze when he caught his own reflection in the bathroom mirror; the loving look he was sending the bag of coke was sickening. It made his stomach plummet. Had he really been reduced to snorting coke alone in a dirty bathroom of a sketchy club? He remembered when it had been a group activity. Before he couldn't control it.

Shake it off! He told himself. He had every intention of stopping after tonight. This would be the last time.

You said that last time as well, a small voice rang in the back of his head, but he ignored his guilty conscience and instead poured out a small pile of the pearl-like coke on top of the hand dryer. Quickly, he pulled out a random card from his wallet and used it to form two heavy lines. Before his guilty conscience could interfere again, he also grabbed a one-dollar bill that he neatly rolled into a small tube and put between his right nostril and one of the white lines, ready for the rush. His gaze, however, lingered on the random card he had used to break the coke into lines; it was his fucking rewards card for the small organic, artisan shit coffee house that you liked. What wouldn't you say if you knew what he was doing? In his mind's eye, he could see the disappointed look you always sent him whenever he'd come home all hyped up, rambling his mouth off. You never got angry with him and his love of coke, but somehow your disappointed demeanour was way worse. He would've taken screaming and yelling over the disappointed stare and the slow shake of your head any day.

Slowly, he removed the dollar-bill from his nostril, stood up straight and met his own eyes in the mirror again - and for a moment, he could truly see how pathetic he was. What the hell was he doing? He was throwing away his last shot at getting you back - and for what? A few hours of euphoria and confidence?

But she doesn't want you back, a small voice rang inside his head, you called, and you called, and you called. You declared yourself clean to her voicemail and she still didn't reach out. Fuck her!

"Yeah, fuck her," Rafa mumbled before he put the dollar-bill back to his nostril. Quickly, he snorted both lines of coke, shooting his head back afterwards, sniffling a bit as he cleaned his nose with the back of his hand. He knew he only had a couple of minutes before the euphoria kicked in, so he quickly brushed off the dollar-bill and the rewards card and tugged them both back in his wallet. The remainder of the coke was stowed away in his shirt's breast pocket for safe keeping.

Ready for the rush, Rafa was impatiently staring at himself in the mirror. He was thinking about how to avoid Diggs and his condescending looks for the duration of his high, when he was finally overwhelmed by the familiar fuzzy feeling. It came out of nowhere and started behind his eyeballs and continued all the way down to his toenails. It felt as if someone had pulled a large, fluffy blanket down over him, and it was slowly heating up his body, making him feel safe and secure. His pulse quickened in time with his breathing, and he had to close his eyes to get himself under control. He felt fucking powerful! Morris had not lied about this coming from a good batch. "Shit, Morris," he laughed.

There was a knock on the door, and Rafa remembered that he had occupied the men's room for a good five minutes now. He took a last look at his suddenly hazed eyes, aware that no matter how hard he tried to hide it, anyone could see that he was high as a kite. He contemplated riding out his high alone in the bathroom but also knew that with the amount of energy present in his body, he couldn't stay in the small restroom all night. He had to dance! To fuck! To fight!

With a suddenly confident bounce in his step, he opened the door, and sent the guy in line what he hoped was an apologetic nod before he confidently strode towards the honeys on the dance floor.

"Hey Rafa!" he heard someone yell behind him.

Hoping it was someone who wanted to fight, Rafa quickly turned around but was slightly disappointed to see Diggs coming towards him with a huge grin on his face. Shit! Rafa realised that he had to act nonchalant around his best friend. Diggs absolutely couldn't know about the coke in his breast pocket, or he'd be all up in Rafa's face about it.

"Diiiiiggs! My man!" Rafa yelled overly excited, clearly very, very high.

Diggs shot him a look at his weird behaviour before he continued, "where've you been, man? I've been looking for you everywhere."

"R-r-r-r-r-r-r-rrrrrrrestroom," Rafa laughed, he was too happy to pretend otherwise.

"Why are you saying it like th-" the huge grin was slowly slipping from Diggs' face, "...hey, Rafa - look at me," Diggs suddenly sounded all serious as he took Rafa's face in his hands, carefully examining his features, "Rafa, look at me."

Rafa let out a low chuckle, "Diggs, you know I think you're handsome and all that, but I don't like you that way," he joked.

"You're being weird," Diggs furrowed his eyebrows, "- and your pupils are huge. Have you been doing lines in the bathroom?"

"Maybe," Rafa laughed, unable to stop himself from revealing his dirty little secret, "why? You want some? I still have a few hits left," he padded his breast pocket.

"You know I don't do that shit anymore..." Diggs let go of Rafa with a sigh and looked away from him.

"Oh yeah, I forgot you're a fucking saint now," Rafa said a bit more harshly than he had intended to. Ever since Diggs had met Emmy, he had been boring as hell.

Diggs chose not to comment on Rafa's low blow, and managed to keep his calm, "I thought you'd stopped, bruh."

"Morris made me an offer I couldn't refuse," Rafa laughed in an accent halfway between Tony Montana and Vito Corleone.

"Yeah well, I'm not the only one who thought you were done fucking around," Diggs said seriously. He was having none of Rafa's jokes, "I just saw your girl downstairs. She wants to talk to you."

It took a few seconds before Rafa understood, but when he finally grasped Diggs' words, he felt the blood drain from his face and his mouth run dry, "what? No, you're kidding me..."

"Nope," Diggs sighed, "I've been running around trying to find you for fifteen minutes..."

"Shit! What the fuck do I do?" Rafa said in a panicked voice, licking his lips frantically, "I told her I was sober! If she sees me like this, she'll never take me back."

"Yeah, well you better pray that you don't run into her."

Rafa ran his hand through his hair, "fuck I'm screwed. She's downstairs?"

"Was fifteen minutes ago."

"Alright, I'm jumping out this window. You stall her, tell her that I got sick or something."

"You can't jump out this window?" Diggs said incredulously, "we're 50 feet up, if you do that, you die! Just walk out the doo- ...oh shit, dude, we're blown. She's here. She's coming over."

"Fuck! Can I still bolt?"

"Of course not!"

"Well how do I look? Alright?"

"You look-" Diggs cut himself off, "...maybe just try and avoid her looking into your eyes, okay?"

"How the fuck am I supposed to do that?"

"The light in here's paying you a favour but apart from that you're gonna have to pull yourself together. You brought this upon yourself," Diggs said harshly before his demeanour changed completely as his eyes interlocked with yours over Rafa's shoulder, "heeeeey," he smiled broadly, "look who I found."

Rafa slowly turned around and met you. Your stunning beauty - as always - immediately knocking him to the ground. He couldn't believe that it had been four weeks since the last time he'd seen you. He'd do anything to get you back!

"Rafa," you nodded formally with a stiff face. Rafa couldn't help but make a mental note on how weird it was to see you without a smile on your lips. You were normally always so happy. He had done this, he reminded himself.

"Hey baby," he whispered, the words weirdly familiar in his throat.

You briefly raised your eyebrows while looking away from him, clearly uncomfortable by the sound of your old pet name.

"Sorry," he continued, "force of habit. ...I'm just happy to see you."

Your gaze slowly found his face, and Rafa prayed that you couldn't see his coke-eyes from where you were standing.

"Well..." you said and clicked your tongue, "I'd like to talk to you."

"I'd like to talk to you too," Rafa said quietly.

"And you're sober? Like you said on my voicemail?"

"Yes," Rafa breathed, "completely sober," he lied thickly, hyper-aware of how awkward it was with Diggs shuffling nervously beside him. He was uncomfortably rolling back and forth on the balls of his feet.

"Good," you finally let out a small smile, "do you want to sit down?"

"Yeah," Rafa nodded.

"Yeah, I'll - uh - I'll leave you to it," Diggs cleared his throat and padded Rafa between the shoulder blades as a way of wishing him good luck.

"Thanks man," Rafa muttered before he followed you down to a vacant booth in the corner of the room. Instead of sitting down opposite you, he made sure to occupy the seat next to you, hoping that it would minimise the risk of you looking into his eyes. He just had to pretend that he was sober until the high quieted down. Fourty-five more minutes - Less if he was lucky.

"So, how've you been?" You said quietly as you were both overlooking the dance floor, avoiding looking directly at each other.

"Not good," Rafa said quietly, "like shit, actually... how about you?"

"Yeah, well I guess 'shit' sums it up neatly... How's sober life?"

"Oh, it's - yeah - it's - it's great!" He said, the lie thick in his throat, "I feel so much better now." He knew how much he had hurt you, and he knew how difficult it must be for you to face him after you'd said that you never wanted to see him again - which just really only made his lying so much worse. Fuck, how he hated himself for what he had done. What he was still doing.

Your eyes darted across his face before your gaze settled on a spot just below his chin. He was relieved that you weren't staring him square in the eyes. "I was so happy to hear your voicemail," you whispered, "you really flushed your stash?"

"Yes," he croaked.

"I'm glad that you're finally taking care of yourself," he couldn't make out your face in the dark but he could hear a hint of happiness to your voice that you were clearly trying to suppress. It made him feel horrible.

"Yeah, I want to stay sober for you," he said slowly. At least that wasn't a lie.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me," you said quietly, the happiness definitely shining through now.

Rafa's heart was fluttering in his chest, and he felt the coke-induced euphoria run amok in his brain, "...does that mean you'll forgive me?" All his senses were heightened.

"It's a step in the right direction" you said quietly, still not looking directly at him, "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too baby," Rafa said quietly and boldly took your hand in his.

Finally, you looked up at him, and to avoid you noticing his bloodshot eyes with the dilated pupils, he took a quick decision, leaned in and crashed his lips against yours.

Luckily, you mistook his desperation for passion and fiercely kissed him back, your hand releasing itself from his, and instead caressing his neck. In-between kisses you managed to mumble, "I'm still... mad... at you."

"I know," Rafa mumbled, enjoying the familiar feeling of your lips against his. Your hands switched to caressing his torso, and your small fingers travelled over his stomach and up his chest, coming to a halt over his heart. It was racing against his ribcage and he had no idea whether it was due to the coke or due to the heap of emotions he felt in his chest. He couldn't believe he was kissing you again. He had completely written it off no more than half an hour ago.

Your right hand moved away from his heart but came to a sudden halt when you felt a small bump in Rafa's breast pocket. Still kissing him, you ran your fingers over the bump a few times before you remembered that it was where he always kept his coke. Quickly, you pulled your lips away from his.

"Wait, no, don't take kissing away from me," he hummed, completely unaware of the discovery you'd just done.

You were looking at his euphoric face with the closed eyes and the swollen lips as you moved your hand over his breast pocket once more.

When Rafa realised what was going on his eyes flew open and he spluttered, "it isn't what you think!"

But he was too slow to react, and before he had had the chance to move away, your fingers went inside his breast pocket and grabbed the small bag from there. "You've got to be kidding me!" You said angrily as you held his coke between your fingertips.

"Baby, I can explain," Rafa said quickly while desperately grabbing your wrist.

"Rafa, you fucking idiot! Don't touch me!" You wrestled yourself out of his grip, got up from your seat, and fast-paced towards the door.

"Baby! Baby!" Rafa yelled out as he ran after you.

"Don't touch me!" You cried, attracting the attention of everyone in your path.

You stormed out the door, Rafa at your heel desperately clinging to every inch of you that he could reach. When you reached the curb outside, he finally managed to run up in front of you, stopping you in your tracks, "baby, I can explain!" He said desperately.

"You said you'd flushed it all!" You were screaming at him now, the tears running down your face.

"It was a mistake, baby, I swear I didn't mean to. I flushed it all, I promise. It's just a setback."

"When did you buy this, Rafa?" You said through gritted teeth, "how long did you manage to stay sober before you decided you wanted to throw it all away?"

Rafa looked away from you, he was so embarrassed by himself, "Morris called and I tried to say no, I really did! Baby, I tried so hard to resist it. But he was persistent."

"Well, did he force you to buy?" You hissed. You were having none of his excuses.

"...No." Rafa admitted.

"When did you buy it?" You emphasised every word, "before or after you called me last weekend?"

"After..."

"When? How long after? When did you have your setback?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes! I need to know if you did it because you were physically craving it, because you just felt like getting high, or if you did it because you’d thrown the thought of us away when I didn’t answer you.”

"I tried to fight it, I swear I tried to fight it," he was getting choked up.

"Rafa, tell me when you bought it."

He considered shooting you a lie but he didn't want to fuck up any more. "I bought it tonight..." he finally muttered under his breath, avoiding your gaze.

"You're not serious!! You bought it tonight?" You bellowed, "are you trying to tell me that you planned on throwing away your soberness tonight? That if I hadn't shown up, you'd be high as balls right now?"

Rafa didn't say anything, he just looked at you with huge eyes, the embarrassment evident on his face - and first then did you notice his blood-shot eyeballs with the abnormally large pupils that had taken over most of the green that was normally present.

"No..." you whispered when you realised, "no, no, no..." you groaned quietly, clutching your chest, "you're high right now?" The heartbreak was evident in your voice.

Rafa sent you a pained look. He fucking hated himself.

"You're high..." You stated in a whisper, the tears were streaming down your face, "you lied."

He had broken your heart. Again.

"I - I didn't mean to," he croaked, "I was just so happy to see you. I knew you wouldn't want to talk to me if I told you the truth."

"So you planned on telling me when?"

"I don't know," he croaked, "I didn't think it through. I've been sober for three weeks. Tonight's just a small setback. Baby, I swear, I'll block Morris and I'll flush this baggie right now if I can just get you back," Rafa was begging, “I’ll stop if you tell me to!”

"Rafa, how many times do I have to tell you," you cried, "You have to stop because you want to. Not because I tell you to stop! I don't care about the snorting! I don't care that you party and get high! You've done lines of my tits several times for God's sake! But I can't live with the constant lying that has become part of it!"

Fuck, Rafa knew what you were building to. His life's biggest mistake. He had it coming, he knew it. He deserved it. He was a fucking cheating coke-head and he hated it. "Please don't bring it up," he sobbed.

You didn't listen to him. You had to confront him with it because he clearly hadn't understood. "Rafa, you fucked another girl! And you were so high that you didn't even realise it! And when you woke up the next day and saw what you'd done, you lied about your whereabouts and the fact that you'd been high as fuck! I had to learn about it through her!" You were sobbing, "...and instead of staying home and comforting me, you lied about having to go to the studio, and you met up with Morris and you got high! Again! If knowing that you're breaking my heart with your constant lies doesn't make you want to quit, I'm not sure what will."

"I want to stop!" he sobbed. He had never felt so horrible before, "I love you, I want to be with you," he sniffled and took your hand, "please give me another chance! I'll stop snorting. I'll stop lying. I'll do anything for you."

It looked as if you were contemplating his words but the look in your eyes darkened suddenly and you let out a whisper, "no Rafa!" as you pulled your hand away from his.

"Baby, please!" He pleaded desperately, "I love you."

"You love coke more," you whispered.

"I have a problem," Rafa tried desperately, "I know. I can't stop. But I'll get help. I'll do whatever you want me to do!"

"Rafa, if you stop snorting because I tell you to stop, it will never last! You love getting high!"

"That's not true... it's pathetic," he cried.

"Rafa, honey,” you said quietly, “- ask yourself this; would you be throwing away this baggie and deleting Morris' number if I wasn't leaving you because of it?"

"Yes," he croaked immediately.

You took a deep breath of air, hurt written all over your face, "Love," you sighed desperately as a fresh wave of tears started streaming down your face, "you're lying again..." you sobbed, and put the baggie in the palm of his hand and folded his fingers around it.

"I'm flushing it," he croaked.

"Do whatever you want," you whispered and looked him in the eye, "We're not together anymore. I'm done - it's over,” you said as you slowly turned around and started walking away from him.

“No, no, no! Please come back!”

“No Rafa… This time I'm serious,” you said before you started walking again.

This time, Rafa didn't run after you. He just watched you walk further and further away from him as your hands dried the tears off of your face every two seconds. He imagined you stopping, imagined the hurt look you'd send him. How he'd run over to you and take you in his arms. Imagined how he'd apologise and you'd both hug and cry and kiss it out. But you didn't stop. You didn't send him any look at all. And he didn’t run to you, he was glued to the pavement.

He stood as if frozen in time and looked after you even long after you'd disappeared around the corner. Suddenly, however, he noticed that he was still clutching the baggie in his closed fist. Slowly, he opened the palm to reveal the beautiful mother-of-pearl-coloured powder. He contemplated dropping it down the gutter next to him. It would all be so easy.

But instead, he closed his fingers around it and pocketed it right above his broken heart. It would help relieve the terrible thunder that he felt rolling over him. It brought along a storm of emotions. A hurricane of regrets. And he was desperate to get high.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Black Magic" *Part 12*

Ayyyyy I fixed it!

For those who missed it, I wrote this chapter also on my phone because apparently I'm addicted to this story I can't focus on my real life even when I'm out.

Also sorry this is short but it was written in a Target parking lot on my phone. And also-- I just wanna put off "THE" part. 😂😬😘

Part 11

Part 13

Tag list

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

-----

Rafael shook his head, still reeling from your encounter. You had no idea what the hell you were talking about, he loved Olivia. He was sure of it. But the last thing you said nagged at him. Even if you had been some kind of crazy mind reading witch, that didn’t stop him from telling Liv about his father.

He had never told her, and if he was really honest with himself, he had no intention of telling her any time soon, maybe ever.

Why didn’t he want to tell her?

-----

Rafael decided to show you, he went straight to Liv's bridal room and knocked on the door.

"Yes?"

"Liv it's me."

"Rafa we can't see each other before the ceremony! It's bad luck!" She called through the door.

"Well it's more bad luck if we start this marriage with secrets." He replied.

Olivia's eyes widened: was he...was he going to tell her his middle name? All on his own? She KNEW you were full of shit

"O-okay just tell me through the door." Her eyes lit up with hope.

"No, I need to be looking at you or I might lose my nerve"

That was good enough for her! She swung the door open.

Rafael stared at her in awe, she had never looked so beautiful in all the years he knew her. He knew you were full of shit, he loved her completely.

"Liv I haven't been honest with you. My middle name isn't Antonio."

"It's not…?" Her eyes began to well up. It was happening. It was really happening.

"No, it's…." He paused and gazed at her. She was beautiful, she was perfect.... But there was no...safety.

"It's Ronaldo," he lied. "I just wanted you to have the right name on the marriage license"

"God damn it Rafael are you fucking kidding me? She yelled.

"What are you talking about?" Rafael was taken aback.

"Why can't you just tell me your real middle name? Why is that so hard for you?!" She yelled again..

"I'm sorry, you know that I'm lying? You know my real middle name?"

"What.. ? Yes...maybe, I don't know," she stammered.

"How do you know my middle name?" He asked.

" I, um...did...did you finish the flask I gave you?" She asked softly.

"....Excuse me?" Rafael asked suspiciously. He turned and walked back to his room. Olivia followed behind him quickly.

"You mean this flask that you supposedly gave me for our wedding day?" He asked, holding up a silver flask with his initials on it.

"You mean this nice loving gift, a token of your love on the most important day of our lives? You're asking me if I 'finished this'?"

"I.. well…" she stuttered.

"And what exactly is this Olivia?" He turned and headed to the bathroom of the groom suite.

"No Rafael, don't!!!" Olivia chase after him frantically.

Rafael opened the flask and poured its contests into the sink. To his horror and disbelief, a dark purple liquid poured out of it; as if it was purple and blue mixed together.

"Holy shit…" Rafael muttered.

"Oh my God!" he just stared in shock as the liquid dissipated down the drain. Olivia could only stand frozen in shock and couldn't speak.

"Oh my God, that girl was right wasn't she?" He stared at her.

"What girl? Was there a girl here?" Olivia quickly turned defensive. "Rafa you shouldn't listen to random ass people--"

"Oh no, fuck that Liv!" He screamed. Throwing the flask across the bathroom.

"What the hell was that?!" He gestured to the sink, now empty of the contents of the flask. "What the hell did you do to me?!

"Nothing!" She stuck to her denial. "It's just the color of the special liquor that I bought you. It's some kind of wine," She tried to think of a lie on the spot, but she wasn't great at it.

"Oh that is a load of shit!" Rafael scoffed while throwing up his hands. "I can't believe this...I can't believe some random ass girl knew more about me than you. She's right isn't she?"

"Rafa come on--" She started to speak, but Rafael wasn't hearing it.

"Oh no fuck that, fuck 'Rafa'. We're past Rafa, don't call me that!" Rafael screamed. "That girl was right, wasn't she? You made me forget her. I'm actually in love with her, aren't I?"

"No! You were never in love with her! That shit was fake. It was as fake as this!" She slapped her hand over her face after saying the last part inadvertently.

"Oh my God...This whole thing is fake. You manipulated my mind. You made me think that I was in love with you!" Rafael felt sick to his stomach.

"You are in love with me!" Olivia screamed. "You just needed to realize it," she added softly.

"And you wanted me to drink more so what? You could make me forget this ever happened so that I would marry you willingly? Like your little robot?" Rafael paced the room angrily.

"No I love you Rafael! That's why I did this! I did this for us!" She was crying now.

"That's BULLSHIT!" Rafael yelled.

"You didn't do this for me, you did this for you. You don't love me at all! If you really loved me, then you would want me to be happy no matter who that was with! I'm not your fucking Ken doll Liv! I'm not some guy you can just manipulate and tote around like some lap dog, doing whatever you say. That's not what love is!"

"Rafael come on, just look--- just, just drink this," she pulled out another vial from her bra. "Just drink it and you'll forget about this, and then we can be happy!"

"Are you not hearing me at all Olivia? Rafael asked her in actual disgust.

"You're still just trying to stick to your delusion? Don't come near me with that. In fact don't come near me at all. I can't. I can't even look at you right now," He started to storm out of the room but Olivia chased after him.

"Where are you going!?!"

"To get back what you stole from me!" Rafael yelled back, running out of the church.

----

You stood there in front of the penguins with Maria and Chloe just staring at them. It had gotten dark now. The tank was lit up, brightening the cave with its neon blue water. They looked so happy, just swimming and carefree, not a care in the world.

"Look at you guys," You sighed. "So happy, so innocent. You wouldn't lie to each other, you wouldn't manipulate each other, you just love each other unconditionally," You started to tear up.

"Oh honey…" Chloe came and put an arm around you.

"He's not coming, is he?" You looked at her with tears now dripping down your face.

She looked down at her watch; it had been about an hour since you had shown up there. That was about 20 minutes from the church. So it had been a while for Rafael to change his mind.

"I mean... I don't want to be Debbie Downer or anything but--" She have you a pity look.

"30 more minutes?" You pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

"Alright…." She looked at Maria who just shrugged sadly. Then she linked an arm in yours, laying her head on shoulder. "As long as you need."

------

Rafael was in an Uber, heading towards Central Park. He couldn't decide how he felt at the moment. He was enraged with Olivia for fucking with his emotions, his brain, his heart. How long has it gone on for?

Now that it had been a while since his last "dose", he was starting to realize he couldn't remember yesterday, or any of the past week, and it scared the shit out of him.

How could she do this? How could she just take memories from him like taking cookies out of a cookie jar? And with absolutely NO remorse? She was STILL trying to control him even when he was confronting her! Did she ever really love him? Were they ever really friends? It was like losing a lover and his best friend in one fell swoop.

And then there was you. Maybe you really had been Liv-- his lover and best friend. But she had taken that too, he had no memory of you whatsoever.

Even now he struggled to even remember your name. He was pretty sure you had said it in his dressing room, but all the shit he had in his system still left him all foggy. He did remember you knew his middle name, his Broadway dream.

You knew about Eduardo, how could he have told you about Eduardo? How important were you to him? How could he just forget that? He wanted that back, that safe feeling you were going on about. You were absolutely on the money about him never feeling safe once his Abuela had moved in with him and his mother. His mother's house never felt safe, even after Eduardo left.

His Mami was wonderful, but he never felt like he could ever fully be himself with her, because she wouldn't accept him. Which is why he never felt comfortable sharing himself completely, ever.

He wanted that safe feeling so badly….he wanted his feelings back so badly. Even if they were someone he supposedly didn't know.

"Uh….hey man are you ok? The Uber driver's question made him realize he was crying. The driver was awkwardly glancing back at him.

"Ahem...yeah no I'm fine. Can we uh...can we go any faster?"

"Hey man I can't control New York traffic," he gestured towards the stand still grid of cars.

He was still 5 blocks away. He wasn't entirely sure just how in love with him you were, though you were pretty damn hysterical at the church.

Would you wait all night? Have you already left?

"You know what, I think I can walk faster than this," Rafael told the driver as he got out on the curb and began running towards the park.

"....Don't forget to rate me five stars!!!" The driver called after him.

----

You glanced down at your phone, it had been 45 minutes since you had asked Chloe for 30. Maria was asleep on a bench, Chloe was falling asleep on your shoulder.

He wasn't coming. Olivia had won. You had to accept it.

You put your phone down and walked up to the glass of the penguin tank. They were all sleeping, except for one. They all were wearing these adorable harnesses that had their name on them, hers read "Penny".

Penny was sitting on a rock above the water, just staring at the "shore" of their enclosure.

You wondered if there was any explanation for that-- you googled "PENNY PENGUIN CENTRAL PARK ZOO". An article immediately came up. You scanned it, reading a particular sentence.

"....Penny's mate was killed in an accident at the zoo six months ago. Penguins are notoriously monogamous, so it's likely she won't ever take another mate. She just spends her night and days looking towards the place the Zookeeper's took Leonard from the enclosure."

Your heart broke, tears came to your eyes for the millionth time that day as you pressed a hand to the glass.

"I'm right there with you Penny, I know how you feel babe…" You sniffled as if the penguin could understand you. But she still continued to stare, waiting for her love to come back.

You wiped tears away and walked away from the tank over to Chloe and Maria, shaking her awake.

"Let's go," you sniffled.

"You sure honey?" She asked you as Maria stirred awake.

"Yeah…. it's over," you sniffled again, all out of water in your body.

She let you lean on her as you walked back up the stairs to the park.

You were so downtrodden, you didn't notice you had left your phone sitting in the enclosure.

[theros]

44 34 24 14 and 4

44. Something you like about your OCs in general?

gods. This is a really hard one to answer because I don't really know like... what I like about them all overall, as a group? Man I'm just in a corner making my action figures kiss.

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Yes actually! Nael and Kalvarian, my [redacted] ocs. (not a bad source, just a small fandom and I do not want them to descend on me if this post ends up in the search. I have very strong opinions about the author and the writing and about 99% of fans and would much rather hide in a corner with 4 friends whose opinions I do not hate.)

ANYWAY. They're fraternal twins, both binary trans, and unfortunately I will never finish the fic I have about them meeting the canon characters and causing confusion because canonically there's a sex-based caste system and the twins each match one of the castes of their actual gender. Every time I try to pick up the fic again I just can't seem to keep writing it, even though I had a whole outline for it and several scenes written from all across the timeline.

The sad thing is that as of the last time I checked the fandom tags on Ao3, it was the only fic touching the possibility of trans characters in this incredibly sex-based world and power system.

But anyway yeah, pretty much inseparable twins who would absolutely die to protect each other (and almost did twice) and who understand each other better than anyone else because they're apparently the only trans characters in multiple planes of existence.

... gods, one day I really should try to finish that fic. And maybe rewrite the published chapters since they're. Very very old and my writing has gotten a little better.

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

That's honestly a really really hard question for me? Half my ocs would probably not actually like me or my own insecurities would act up because they're so much stronger and cooler than me and I am a Basic Earth Person. Hm... Maybe Savai or Kolasi, my FFXIV Warriors of Light? Preferably before the storyline breaks Kol and makes her go from incredibly friendly peppy sunshine child to bitter and hurt and kind of lashing out at everyone. I dunno, I just feel like I'd end up swept along with her lol, grabbed by the arm as she runs to find something fun to do while we hang out, or a neat skill she could teach me. Sav is incredibly awkward and shy and 100% would not talk to me, but he's very expressive nonverbally and I'd be able to talk and hang out with him, and maybe make him smile by panting and stumbling to a chair like "Is she always this energetic????"

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

OKAY SO THIS IS THE REASON IT TOOK SO LONG TO REPLY TO YOU AND IT'S BECAUSE I WROTE OUT LYRIQ'S WHOLE DAMN STORY BUT NOBODY NEEDS THAT LONG BORING SUMMARY GOD

To shorten that WAY the fuck down, local pacifist and protector of her youngest sibling is forced to stop being a pacifist in order to try to protect people better and find her missing sister, only to run into her other sister and be forced to kill her because she's become a homicidal vampire fuckhead.

4. A character you rarely talk about?

... *picks up several warrior cats ocs and dumps them on the floor in front of you*

Granted, most of those don't have any actual character building done beyond color, place in clan, basic personality. So if I have to say someone who's at least a little more built out... Derek (VH, the ex-vault hunter on vaulthuntersuggestions, whose name I probably misspelled again bc I can't bloody remember how I spell his name each time).

Borderlands kind of became a minor trigger for me back in late 2018, so I really started neglecting VH as a character and not giving him nearly as much attention as my other "main" OCs. Hence his pretty stagnant state on VHS, without much in the way of character development. I really shouldn't even try to lump him in with my main OCs; I do because he has his own blog but his muse is so weak he really doesn't qualify.

Still, he is my beloved old man trying desperately to pretend he isn't actually a giant softie and dork and is definitely a rough-around-the-edges merc.

[hoopdiddies]

I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 6)

A/N: Y'all I'm so mad cos this is my third attempt in posting this and hoping it would appear as I load my page. Btw, thanks to everyone who supported this series so far, your comments and reblogs really hype me up to write more even when I don't feel like a confident writer ☺ ☺

Summary: You had always loved Ben ever since you two met in university and became the best of friends. That feeling went out like a candle flame when the two of you parted ways until he re-entered your life...but this time with someone who has already occupied his heart.

Warnings: Mentions of drinking, a hangover, fluff, slight swearing and angst.

Word count : 3k+

Tags: @haendel-me-with-care , @mrsdoradominguez-barnes , @mickmoon

Parts: 5 , 4 , 3 , 2 , 1

(Edited)

The first thing you usually expect the second you wake up is the sinking feeling of your plush mattress cradling your entire body, down to the last, visible patch of skin. Your room laced and embellished with an aesthetic ray of sunshine seeping through the gaps of the beige curtains, the light subtly refracting off of every daft corner.

But your current location bodes the contrary. You run your hand over the fabric you're laying on, the familiarity of it arousing you to sit up, ultimately finding yourself on the couch in your living room.

Just as you begin questioning why you're here and not in your own sleeping quarters, a blunt ache spreads in your head and you bring your hands up to your hair, pulling on the roots at the sudden, morning agony. You let out a gritty groan at the throbbing sensation, like someone is bashing you in the head with a hammer that's travelling in the speed of sound. You fall back onto the couch in a low cry to numb the pain, but blessed to find the Aspirin Joe had left last night on the coffee table for you to take– but you don't remember that.

You don't think twice before swiping it from the tray, desperate to alleviate the throbbing. You pop the pill in your mouth and wash it down with the glass of water from the tray, gasping as you feel it swirl down your system. In a breath of relief, you place the glass back on the tray and try to recall every bit that's happened last night.

You get one thing straight; you were heavily drunk and of course, waking up with an apparent hangover decreases your chances of remembering anything the previous night. However you do recall some stuff. Two of them being the moment you had your first drink with your colleagues and Joe arriving a minute after you had your seventh swig, respectively. You wonder if he was the one that took you back.

He has to be. Who else would put essentials, Chinese food and a cup of coffee on the table with a note that has been signed with a blotted 'Joe'?

You wonder where he is at the moment, if ever he's gone home or just presently in the bathroom. As soon as your headache subsides, you get off from the couch, grunting as you stretch your limbs from the position you slept in. You pull on your collar and take a whiff of sweat, perfume and vodka all merged into one, pungent emission. You grimace to yourself, hurriedly making your way to the bathroom to wash up, swearing to never drink like that again.

Upon stepping foot in front of the door, you grab onto the knob and put very little to no thought of what's about to unfurl, twisting it open only to be greeted by a hard bump on your first step in. You yelp as you stumble forward, expecting to greet the floor with a bone breaking kiss yet something hard and meaty cushions you from underneath instead. You lift your head up and lo, you've landed on no other than Ben's clothed chest.

Or rather Ben himself.

What the fuck is he doing here?!

No longer holding back that gasp, you prop yourself up on your hands that are on either side of Ben's head, his face dangerously close to yours with his hot breath fanning against your cheeks.

Since you have both landed on the moist tiles of the bathroom, getting up in a prim position is not going to be an easy task.

"Oh god, um, h-hey." You, unfortunately,utter quickly, your stutter evident. You're an inch away from kissing him and apparently, running out of breath from supporting yourself on your arms, plus your hands are gradually slipping on the tiles thereby lowering you even further.

Ben's bright, green eyes remain as comically wide as they could ever be, the corner of his lips twitching to a small smile as he responds with a hoarse yet guttural, "Good morning."

You have to admit one way or another, his messy, blond hair flopping on all sides and shaping his face in that manner must be illegal.

You shift just an inch to plant your fingers firm on the tiles, hoping to throw yourself off of him by the time you get a good angle to start from. Ben notices your struggle and suggests something else with his cheeks growing redder by the second.

"I'm going to pretend that this isn't awkward and allow you to just fall."

You give him small glimpses due to the agonizing proximity between your faces. "That's a terrible idea. I'm going to end up mushing your face and I know you wouldn't want that."

"You're slipping. You can't launch yourself up in that position." He mutters quickly with how fast you're sinking into him. Counting, you have at least a few seconds before your arms give in to the pressure and you make unwanted contact with Ben's face.

"Come on, Y/N. Joe would be furious by the time he returns and you're not up yet." He teases you and you feel his breath growing hotter along with his accelerated heartbeat as you de-escalate. You wish you could hit Ben for making fun of the situation right now. Rolling your eyes heavenward, you drop your head low and let your arms slide open, your face landing right into the crook of Ben's neck with your upper body slamming against his chest, the impact pushing out a low grunt from him.

Your breath against his neck has left him oddly shivering but you don't notice.

A success, you throw yourself off of him and haul him up along with you. "I won't tell Joe as long as you don't tell Rosy." He banters and you smack his chest playfully. He thanks you and asks how you're feeling after such a night.

You shrug. "I'm fine now after taking that Aspirin."

"Joe's gone out to buy breakfast. The two of us kinda crashed here for the night to look after you." A little bashful, Ben rubs his nape and it makes your heart skip a beat.

"That's thoughtful of you, boys. But what about-" a certain memory flashes in your mind and you recall spotting Ben with Rosy at the pub last night. You don't hesitate to ask him about the possibility of Rosy questioning his whereabouts, leaving out the bit of you seeing them both at the pub. "What about Rosy?"

Ben walks out of the space with you and leans against the wall. "Don't worry, she knows I'm with you and Joe."

You stop yourself from asking him any more questions to avoid friction, especially since you're still hung up on his engagement. You nod and re-enter the bathroom to rinse yourself, pausing halfway to peer at him over your shoulder, a smug smile present in your expression. "Your cologne was insulting."

Ben gives half a shrug, pursing his lips proudly at the fact. "Yours was not bad either, the vodka highlighted it." He chuckles and you tut, closing the door and facing the vanity mirror with your hands clutched on either side of the sink.

You scoff at the fading, crimson glow in your cheeks, even so at the fact that Ben's was just as bright as yours and he could've passed as a tomato at that moment. But that blush was born out of awkwardness.

Yours meant something else.

It definitely is a weird morning.

Half an hour later, Joe returns with a paper bag full of fruits and is welcomed by the sight of Ben having a quiet cup of decaf on the couch, man spreading and waiting for life to happen.

"Hey, mate." Ben greets without bothering to turn his head around. Joe narrows his eyes at your absence from the spot Ben is now kicking back on. "Hey. Where's Y/N?"

"Loo. She's taken the aspirin by the way."

Joe nods, blinking twice. He pads towards the kitchen with the paper bag cradled in his arms, setting them down on the counter and pulling out two apples. Right after wiping your face dry, you step out of the bathroom fresh and sling your face towel around your neck, seeing Joe and Ben chat up with bitten apples in hand. You approach them and take out a seat from the edge of the table, darting your eyes at either of them. "Quick question. What are you boys waiting for exactly?"

"Just for you to finish up. I bought some fruits by the way." Joe reminds you with his mouth full.

"You didn't have to?"

He sighs, less than willing to feel defeated. "But I wanted to, besides," a sly glint twinkles in Joe's eye as he furtively flicks his eyes at Ben who is across him, "I'd be a bad boyfriend if I didn't. My baby's got a hangover and she needs her vitamins." If it were only possible to do an effective spit-take with your own saliva, you would have done it by now. Pretty sure you could hear Ben's breath hitch in his throat.

You don't want to draw your brows together as a reaction to that, it might give away the lie. As much as you want to protest and possibly nudge Joe for not giving you a heads up, this was your doing in the first place and Joe's just keeping up with it, by somehow trying to make Ben jealous...and slightly uneasy. You nod slowly, reaching out to snatch Joe's apple and taking a huge crunch of it as it takes up all the courage you've dredged not to break eye contact with him, before handing it back to a stunned Joe. "Now you're a good boyfriend." You click your tongue and wink back at him, walking away to change your clothes.

Ben would be lying to himself if he denies getting dazed as you gave Joe the eye. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, clearing his throat at how unusual that was. Of course, that was just you playing along and you feel as if you've tainted yourself with that flirtatious ogle.

Throwing a fresh shirt on, your phone lights up with a notification. You find that it's from the institution and it's been a while since they've emailed you.

Apparently your date of departure has been rescheduled to the 26th of February and it's a relief to know that you have a month left to gather important papers and prepare your passport. You tuck your phone away and exit your bedroom. You and the boys talk for a while and share some laughs as you whip up fruit smoothies in the kitchen, the messy tendencies far from being absent between every taunt.

Soon after finishing your drinks and helping you clean up the mess you've made in the kitchen, they remind you of a certain event they'd want to drag you along to.

"What is it? " You ask, wiping your hands.

Joe flails his arms as he gushes. "The Oscars! BoRhap has been put up as potential candidate, according to Brian."

Your eyes widen along with the smile on your face. "No way! Really?"

Ben grins even wider. "Yes, really! The possibility of Rami bringing home a 'Best Actor' award would be huge! I mean, you've seen the film thrice with me, surely you can conclude that his-"

"His performance was flawless. Yes Ben, I said that the first time I saw the film." You trail him off humorously and shift your pleased gaze at either of them. "I'm so happy for you, guys. Really. Rami's not the only one that's deserving of the award. You all do. I'm suing if they don't call the rest of you up the stage."

They let out a prolonged yet soft 'aww' at your faith in them, bringing you in for a tight hug. You enjoy the bliss for a few seconds before letting go.

"By they way, Y/N. When are you leaving?" Your expression flits faster than you could command it to as Joe puts up the question.

Be still, my throbbing fist.

You feel your heart quicken as Ben's smile slowly vanishes, looking mildly confused. "Leaving? What do you mean?"

You never told Joe about keeping it a secret from Ben the first time, the only person you told was Lucy. Taking advantage of Joe's delay to answer, you quickly dive in to speak. "Leaving for...a retreat!"

Not being the answer he expected, Joe opens his mouth to protest, but you give him the look to zip it and luckily, he does, opting to hear the explanation of the your decision later. You turn to Ben whose face couldn't contort any further from being baffled. You reassure him softly. "We're hosting a retreat at work this February. Just a few days out of town."

I suck at lying.

Ben could only ever mouth a soundless 'oh' as a response. Guilt dreads you from inside, knowing very well the pointlessness of hiding something important as you leaving to study medicine abroad from Ben. Your best friend. It sounds melodramatic and you're well aware of that but the possibility of the spark of your friendship going out the moment he says 'I do' is just inevitable.

You feel it in your gut and never have your intuition failed you.

Zoning out momentarily with the boys being oblivious to it, you faintly hear Joe ask Ben the date of his wedding. Your heart races at his significant mention of date. "Rosy and I have been planning it for a week now and decided on the 26th."

"This month?"

"February, mate."

The days went by fast. You felt like a bee working your ass off nonstop for nearly a month. Sure you got breaks, in the summit of weekends but you could rarely enjoy every passing second with a hodgepodge of obligations in mind. You just got off work with extra cash to purchase a new bag to use for when you depart, despite you being scheduled on the 26th of this month. The date didn't put you on edge before Ben's announcement of his wedding date and now, you can't help but worry.

You walk along the lines of luggage bags on display, finally picking out a silver one with the appropriate space to fill. You ask the sales clerk for the price and she tells you it's in no more than 150 pounds, which is enough. While waiting in line to pay, you brush arms with a slightly, taller figure, not bothering to look at them as you apologize.

"Y/N?"

That voice. You dart your eyes to your left, having your mood alter as you find Rosy smiling at you. "Oh. Hey, Rosy. What are you doing here?" You question, nearly impassive. Not that you aren't thrilled to run into her here - not that you are as well - but the best friend versus fiancee cliche is just not something you wanted to deal with in the first place.

"Just purchasing this purse," she waves a silver purse laced elegantly with sequins it before you, "what have you got there?" She gestures to the luggage bag you're holding. You restrain yourself from giving her the 'what does it look like, dumbass' face and answer monotonously, sighing. "Luggage...bag."

"Ah, any plans for the month to be in need of that?"

"Uh yeah. A retreat." Definitely not.

Rosy bobs her head slowly and you take a step forward, your turn coming up. "That's great. Ben and I are flying to LA this weekend to find a venue for our wedding, you know," she gives you a saccharine smile and your stomach churns, not from the news - it's nothing new - but at her delivery. It's as if she's reminding you of the line between you and Ben, and that you should always remain at the end of your line. You're pretty aware of that, you always have been that a reminder is never needed. Your eyes flicker briefly to her right hand by accident, catching an emerald-crusted, engagement ring glistening around her ring finger. The sight of it leaves a hard lump in your throat.

"That's nice. You're really having your wedding outside the country, huh?"

"Why wouldn't we?"

You shrug, pursing your lips and taking a step forward, nearly reaching the counter. "Nothing against it. I just think the expenses would be too much."

She scoffs at you, flipping her red hair to the side in an indirect yet uppity manner. "You know, Ben was right about you being the thrifty one. That's where he got it from."

You're not having any of this today. "It's an honor, in all honesty." You retort with a sarcastic smile before taking the spot in front of the registrar, your response turning Rosy a little sour. After the cashier sticks the receipt to the handle of the luggage bag, you drag it along with you but pause as Rosy reminds you smugly.

"You're invited, remember that."

It almost seems as if she knows how you feel about Ben and on top of that, she's handing you the reminder on purpose to prod you to your limit but you couldn't care less about what she thinks. She's got him. What else does she want?

When you first thought she wouldn't mesh with Ben well, your gut really stood out. But Ben loves her for possibly a couple of reasons and with nothing particularly overlooked so you have no choice but to accept that she will be playing a huge part in his life.

Their wedding day is the day you leave anyway, so that advantage has saved you the pain and the killer heels. It should be the very least of your worries.

You brush off her words and set a course for home, eager to slam the door shut and sleep through the entire stress.

On your way to your car, your phone rings for the seventh time today and you answer, opening the trunk to put your luggage bag in. "Hello?"

"You know it's stupid, I'm just behind you and this feels pointless."

You turn on your heels quickly and shake your head in bemusement even with your blood rushing headlong, putting your phone back into your pocket and nearly throwing a fist at Ben who's laughing from the shock on your face as you turned around.

How convenient.

I was just thinking of you.

"You idiot, what brings you here? I thought you had a convention to go to or something."

He jerks his shoulders up and takes a few steps closer to you. "Just took off from it. I came by to pick up Rosy."

It has become a challenge to maintain the look you have on right now. "Ah. Kinda ran into her back there."

"Really? What were you buying?"

Your nose crinkles as the breeze blows against your face. "Just a luggage bag."

He hooks his thumbs into his pockets, altering his stance. "For that retreat thing?"

"Yeah. Anyway, you should get in. What kind of fiance are you waiting out instead of making an effort to find her in there?" You taunt him a little and he brings his hand up to his mouth, covering it as to hide the grin that's taken shape. "I'll be in after asking you if you want to tag along to the awards."

You gawk mindlessly at him for a ticking second, scoffing. "For real? No, Ben. You know me. Award ceremonies and parties, especially the ones mostly filled with people who hold their noses up high, are not my strong suit." You express lightly, raising your hand up at him as you politely decline. The amused look on his face is one thing you wish to wipe off but enjoy beholding nevertheless. "Come on. You don't like parties but you've been to mine."

"That's because I did it for you."

"Would you go to this one for me too?" He's pulled off a look that would be hard for you to say no to. You stare up at his hooded eyes with one brow creased, weighing in mind your decision. You sigh in defeat, hoisting your hands up in surrender. "Fine!"

He pumps his fist in the air and cheers. "Yes! Joe's gonna be thrilled with this too."

"Pfft, why?"

"Um, he's your boyfriend? And he needs his date? You're doing this for him mostly? " He reminds you once more in a 'duh' tone, underlining it as a question in answer. It would take you the will of a warrior to resist whacking him in the face with your luggage bag but you're certain you've done that in an alternate timeline somehow. You cross your arms together and turn around to the driver's seat.

"So are you down really?" Ben questions one more time in a nervous tone, making sure of your willingness to go. You climb into your car and slam the door close, rolling down your window and lifting your brows at him, noting. "24th. I got it."

He flashes a contented beam at you and waves slowly. "I'll see you soon." One reassuring nod from you and you turn on your ignition, stepping on the gas and driving just a few feet away from him. You stop the car midway through the exit and peer at the outside mirror through which you see Rosy leap into Ben's arms happily, having him lower her afterwards for a sweet kiss. It doesn't take you a couple of seconds to look away and continue down the road, swallowing the lump in the back of your throat.

The sight still takes a toll on you.

[greennightspider]

Deep Trouble

Author’s Note: Written as a sort of sequel to Beneath the Storm, but can also work as a one-shot on its own. @sammyslonglostshoe @let-monsters-reign this is for you two I hope you’re both happy (No idea who else to tag bc idk how freaky you guys get okaaaaaaay)

Summary: An evening trist, with an unexpected twist. A surprise guest, will he be welcome or will he be more chaos than company? A Split/Glass fanfic. (Warning: Smut, slight voice kink) 

Italics - The alters/personalities inside Kevin’s mind or internal monologue

Bold - The Beast

Dennis x Reader x The Beast 

Living with the personalities was in a word… interesting. There was never a dull moment, and after a while you had managed to work out a system so you knew who to expect most of the time. This morning had had breakfast with Barry, then went to work, came back and then watched Hedwig practice his dance moves.

You had just finished having a lovely dinner with Patricia. She cooked, provided you did the washing up which you didn’t mind. Patricia’s cooking was a godsend, and you would’ve licked the plate clean were it not for her gentle scolding.

“I think I might retire early tonight.” Patricia mused as she paced the kitchen.

“That sounds good, will Hedwig have the light next?” You questioned, eyeing the unfinished game sprawled across the living room table.

“Oh no I think I will need to put him to bed early. You know he’s a grump in the morning and I don’t want you to have to deal with that. Again.”

Patricia watched you as you chuckled slightly, placing the last plate on the dishrack to dry.

You owe me for this Dennis. She whispered.

Thank you Patricia.

Hey! Me and Y/N were gonna finish our connect four game! I was winning too!

Now now, Hedwig. I told Y/N to leave the game exactly how it is. No cheating. But now its time for bed.

For all of us. Patricia’s voice rang out, being met with groans, and sighs, but nothing more. 

As Dennis approached the light in the centre of course Barry wolf whistled, and Jade chuckled knowingly as they turned away.

But before Dennis could enter the circle Patricia tapped his hand.

Be gentle with her. She has work tomorrow.

Dennis raised an eyebrow at her. I’ll try.

Patricia hit his arm in a jest and returned to her seat with the rest of the alters, settling in for the night.

Of course, all but one. Who gazed from the shadows with peering eyes and hungry lips that curled into a smirk as they watched Dennis take the light once more.

You drained the sink and wiped your hands on a towel before feeling two strong arms encircle your waist. You could always tell when the alters had switched, and after a while you could almost feel it in the air 

“Dennis…” you sighed, leaning back into his touch. Dennis kissed down your neck as his hands roamed your torso, finally resting both of his large hands on each of your breasts. He kneaded them until your nipples became hard peaks.

You heard his breathing become heavier against your ear. “Surprise.” He grunted contentedly, enjoying your sighs of pleasure.

You didn’t protest when Dennis started walking you backwards, turning the kitchen light off as you two went past. “I think it’s your bedtime too.”

In one fell swoop Dennis threw you on the bed, and you laughed as you bounced on the mattress while Dennis undressed. The large man stripped down to his pants before crawling on top of you, but you stopped him with a finger to his chest. “Ah ah ah.” You smirked cheekily. “Sit on the edge of the bed.”

Dennis flared his nostrils but did as he was told, wondering what you were up to. He remembered Patricia’s warnings of restraint, until you started swaying your hips from side to side, undoing the buttons on the front your shirt one by one. Painfully slow for Dennis’ taste. He watched as you hung up your shirt on a hanger, making sure it was straight and uncreased. He clenched and unclenched his fists that he held firm on his thighs, as you leaned your shoulders back on the wall, leaning your hips toward him as you slunk your jeans off, leaving you in only your lacy underwear. But watching you bend over and fold up your jeans was more than he could stand.

Fuck restraint.

Dennis flared his nostrils and pulled you into his arms once more, quickly flipping you on your back as he grinded into you. He retreated to almost rip his belt out of his trousers, hurriedly placing the belt in his wardrobe as well as folding your pants, while you took the time to let your hand wander into your underwear.

Dennis’ nostrils flared as he turned around and realised what you were doing. Immediately mounting you and stripping your hand from your underwear. “Bad girl.” He growled. “Look at this, these are all dirty now.” He unhooked your panties and threw them in the hamper.

You both moaned as you felt Dennis’ cock grind against your sex. He entered you with such forced that you arched of the bed, Dennis taking a nipple in his mouth as you did so.

Your sultry moans filled the room as Dennis fucked you hard and fast, his need clouding his mind as all he could think of was you, writhing and groaning underneath him.

However it wasn’t long before Dennis felt a different urge. Something that shook him to his core with only three words.

My turn now.

No. Dennis grunted, trying to fight it, feeling the Beast almost claw at him in the light.

I have said. It’s my time.

While your eyes were closed in pure lust Dennis’ muscles began to tighten and grow as he shifted. His breathing turns to heavy grunts, and you moan in response. You feel Dennis’ movements become faster and harder, and you claw at his back as he gripped the sheets almost ripping them.

Lost in pleasure you felt Dennis flip you over and drag your feet to the edge of the bed so that your toes were touching the ground. Surprised by this new forcefulness but too fargone to care, you widen your stance for him and mewl, trying to push back and find some friction. “Please.” You whine, in that voice you knew Dennis loved.

Look how she presents herself to me. The beast growled at Dennis, who now watched from the darkness frustratedly.

Suddenly you felt the head of his member enter you once more, but this time it felt thicker than before.

“Baby, did- did you get bigger?” You ask in a whine, to which you hear only dark laughter. Your eyes widen as you realize it isn’t Dennis behind you, but you have no time to react as the Beast pushes himself inside your pussy to the hilt, drawing out a long groan from your lips.

“Beast.” You whisper as your eyes roll to the back of your head and you bury your face in the pillows, the Beast starting a brutal pace. He fucks you rough and hard, his primal nature getting the best of you. “Oh yes oh yes oh fuck yes!” You almost scream as your toes curl, your drenched pussy squeezing hard inamongst his rapid thrusts, drawing you closer and closer to your release.

I can see why you like this pure one. The Beast growls at Dennis. I’m surprised she can match me this well. Dennis says nothing, he only purses his lips tightly with his arms folded.

Oh stop sulking. I only wanted a taste. The Beast bared his teeth in a maniacal grin.

All of a sudden Dennis is thrown back into the light as the Beast laughs darkly, returning to the void. Dennis then opens his eyes to the sight of you moaning as you take him from behind, Dennis immediately losing himself in the way your ass backs onto his throbbing member.

“Did you have fun?” Dennis snarls in your ear. You shudder at his voice and your pussy clenches around him, drawing out a low groan from him in response. "I did, but I'm glad you're back." You turn and grin up at him.

Dennis takes no time in matching the Beasts' brutal pace, making your toes curl and your pussy almost drip with need. You loved when Dennis got rough, as he fucked you so hard into the bed it started banging on the wall.

Dennis groaned at the way your pussy was drawing him in tighter and tighter, signaling you were close. He watches himself disappear into you right up to the hilt, always amazed at how you could take him.

Beast, may I ask you for a favour. Dennis grits through his teeth, as the Beast raises an eyebrow slinking out from the void.

“Oh Dennis, Dennis oh, I’m gonna cum!” You moan wildly, the echoing slap of skin against skin becoming faster and shorter. “Yes yes yes!”

“Do it.”

The deep growling command drives you over the edge as you cream on his dick, Dennis roaring as he slams into you with his release while your pussy milks him for all he is worth. You collapse onto the sheets and so does Dennis.

“Thank you.” You breathe, trying to catch your breath and drag yourself up the bed using only your arms, knowing you’ll probably have to call in sick tomorrow from work.

You hear that?

Oh I heard it.

Dennis watches you as you lie on your stomach, exhausted panting and sated, he closes his eyes and momentarily lets himself go.

Suddenly you hear a low chuckle, as you feel what seem like claws softly raking down your skin. You don’t open your eyes but you smirk all the same as you hear the gruff breathing beside you.

“You’re welcome.”