#everyone please pray for me it is 3am once again-

[schleierkauz]

Cornelia confirmed to me by email that the relationship between the Prince and Violante will not continue and that one of the new characters will be a love interest for him! 😭❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕🩺 I CAN'T REVEAL MORE BECAUSE IT WOULD BE A SPOILER (even if it's a very minor spoiler), EVEN THOUGH I'M DYING TO DO IT!!! 😭😭😭 With great power comes great responsibility. 😭😭😭

ALSO, in the audios we understood “Niamey”, but according to Cornelia, the Prince is called “Nyame”! 🧸 I'll never get over when she said she revealed his name because I asked her to. 🥺🥺🥺 I'll take this to my grave. 😭😭😭😭😭

girl his name is WHAT

like... y'know, nya(me)

i'm gonna lose my mind. i love him. i'm gonna go back to edit that chapter as soon as i have more time.

also GOOD FOR VIOLANTE i'm excited to see it! i personally think her fling with the prince was probably very healing but, yeah, they're no longterm relationship material. i'm pretty positive that they're gonna stay friends (esp since jacopo is now hanging out with the motley folk).

if you want to message me details i'd appreciate it, i've been collecting spoilers since 2018, but please don't feel pressured to haha. some mystery is cool as well

[dameronology]

6 from the angst prompts with frank please🤲🏾

frank castle + 6) "why does my mind go back to when you used to hold me?"

ok. i'm gonna be real with you. this started by following the prompt, then it...it went somewhere else entirely. but we move.

You should have been happy in your lover's arms.

Anyone else in the world would have been fucking elated; wrapped up in a blanket on the sofa with a five-foot-eleven guy, with his ginger tousled hair and broad arms. Your first date together had been a favour to your sister, but you'd never found a reason to stop seeing him. After all, he looked after you. Texting you to make sure you got home safe, bringing you lunch at work, fixing your broken kitchen cabinet in your shitty little apartment. He was nice. Too nice. He was a sensible t-shirt made out of husband material.

So what did that make Frank Castle? The leather jacket that your parents had forbade you from buying? The stupidly ripped jeans that made your relatives ask dId yOu bUy tHeM lIke tHat?

But truthfully, there was no stupid, cliche metaphor for Frank Castle. He was absolutely indescribable; a walking contradiction, a fucking confusion. He was rough and soft and giving and taking all at once. He stole the air from the lungs and breathed it right back into you; stole the show, but never came out from behind the curtains. He'd ruined your life for twelve straight months and yet, you looked back on that year as the best time of your life.

Frank was gone now - gone to the wind, wherever his next crime took him. You still thought of him, though. Constantly. About how your new boyfriend's arms didn't hold you as tight; about how his hair was a lot softer than Frank's, and didn't scratch you in the same way his did whenever he buried his head in your neck. His hands weren't as large and protective. He didn't make you black coffee every morning - oat lattes and fancy cappuccinos, yeah. But not the shitty, sugarless crap that Frank served to you in a chipped Coney Island mug every day at 7AM. The new guy cared enough to walk you home, but not enough to elbow his way into your apartment at 3AM because he'd heard sirens four blocks away and panicked. Frank Castle had had a weird way of loving you - and now, everyone else's attempts at it paled in comparison.

Like I said before - anyone else would have been infatuated with the new man sat beside you. Admittedly, you'd only found one problem with him.

He wasn't Frank.

"I'm just going to make some tea," you said. "I'll be back in a second."

The auburn man looked at you. "Should I pause the movie?"

"It's okay, I've seen it before," you forced a smile.

Shrugging off the blanket, you stood up and stalked through to the kitchen. It was a separate room from your living area - Frank had always given you spiel about how cramped it felt. But the minute you spotted a pair of combat boots on the fire escape? You were just thankful for the privacy it now gave you from the man you should have been falling in love with.

Hopping up on the counter, you slid open the window and stuck one leg out onto the metal stairs. Frank naturally leant forward to help you, a large handing wrapping around your wrist and pulling you up. The sky was pitch black, lit only by the starry facade of the Lower East Side. Hell's Kitchen was beautiful from this angle - probably because the man who constantly tore it to pieces was stood on your fire escape.

"You look like shit," you greeted him. It was true; his hair was cropped and neat, and he was clean shaven like usual, but there was a fucking massive shiner on his left eye.

"So do you," Frank shot back. "Who the fuck does that t-shirt belong to?"

"None of your business," you said.

"It belongs to your ginger friend, doesn't it?" he deduced. "What's his name?"

"Again - none of your business."

"Fine. I'll just call him Ron, then."

"Okay, Frank," you huffed. "Why are you turning up on my fire escape at 1AM and giving me spiel about Harry Potter?"

"I was just checking in," he shrugged. "Am I not allowed to do that anymore?"

"No."

"Fine," he held his hands up in defence. "But I know you're thinking about me."

"I'm not thinking about you," you countered. "In fact, the first person I think of when I hear the name Frank is Frank Reynolds from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia."

"You're a terrible liar, sweetheart," he reminded you.

"It's true. I really love Danny Devito-"

You abruptly stopped talking when Frank grabbed you by the waist, pulling you towards him. Your lips crashed against his - warm and familiar and chapped - in a passionate kiss. Time might as well have fucking stopped in that moment. It was a feeling you'd craved for so long; begged for, prayed to every god you believed in and even those you didn't.

"You love me more," Frank murmured. "More than the man inside."

"Frank," you murmured.

"Just say it," he pushed. "I know you love me - not him."

"Is that why you came back?" you asked. "Because you were worried I'd found someone else?"

"I came back because I missed you," he confessed.

"You went upstate to get away from all this," you half-heartedly gestured to the city below.

"And I came back for all this," he gestured to you with a large hand. "It's nothing to do with you being with someone else. It doesn't mean I don't want to left hook the guy for putting his hands on you, but..."

Frank trailed off. You, meanwhile, were still in disbelief. It had taken so much effort to move on; to force his remaining belongings into a box under your bed. Even more so to let another man in to said bed.

In a swift movement, he'd taken off his hoodie and pulled it over your shoulders. The zip was done up in mere seconds, thick hood pulled over your head. It smelt of Frank - domestic Frank, not I've gone bat-crap crazy on a gang in the middle of the night and come back looking like the prom scene in Carrie Frank. It was a mixture of cheap laundry detergent and a little of his spicy aftershave. He rarely wore the stuff, but you deducted he probably put it on for tonight. What kind of fucking weirdo put on expensive aftershave just to creep around on his former lover's balcony? Frank. The answer was Frank. Just...quintessentially him.

"You really hate the look of me in his clothes, huh?" you teased.

"You looked cold," Frank lied. "Does Ron give you his hoodies?"

"He'd give me his damn wardrobe if I asked."

He snorted. "Yeah, okay. I'm glad to see you that you still enjoy dancing around important conversations-"

"- you know I love you, Frank," you cut him off. "But I'm not skipping into the fucking sunset with you at 1AM when it's freezing as shit outside. Especially not when there's a man on my couch, who thinks I'm making a cup of tea when I'm actually kissing a man out on the fire escape."

"I love you too," Frank gave you a lopsided grin, completely ignoring the second half of what you said. "I'll come back in the morning."

"Yeah, okay," you pressed another kiss to his jaw. "See you then."

You slipped your hands away from Frank's, sliding your legs back through the window and onto the kitchen counter. Leaping off the side, you shut the window and reached to turn on the kettle - you did have the whole cup of tea lie to keep up with.

And with a smile on your face, you reached for the chipped Coney Island mug on your shelf.

[nanaoise08squad]

Was it enough?

(Authors note: I haven't written fic in i want to say....almost 8 years now. But i've been getting back into writing a lot more recently and liking it. Demon Slayer is one of my favorites, and Kyojuro lives in my head rent free. He's my comfort character, which is why when this series of thougths woke me up at 3am, i could not keep this pain just to myself. Loosely, my brain started to think about kyojuro's last moments...about him thinking about his loved ones. I saw a Tik Tok with this song and Kyojuro and it sent my mind down this POV rabbit hole.so, enjoy the angst i suppose. also, i know lyrically it's "brothers" not brother, but it fit better. CW: Canonical death, mentions of dying, just a lot of angst)

I'm sorry brother

I’m so sorry, Senjuro. I know this will be difficult for you. I know you carry so much guilt and pain, as much as I tried to take it from you. I wish I could be there for you always, to shield you against the cruel nature of this world as your older brother. I know you blame yourself for not training hard enough, not being good enough for flame breathing to manifest. You did everything right, Senjuro. I wish I could make you see that. Father….may never be able to tell you again that he loves you, but he does. We both do. And i'm proud of you, always. Destiny has something else planned for you, follow your heart's desire and do what you feel is right...You will be ok, I promise….You’ll have both mother and I watching over you now.

So Sorry Lover

I know i'm adored by many, I wonder how their hearts will handle this. I'm certain…kanroji will take this news very hard. She was the best Tsugoku i could have asked for, she truly is remarkable. I hope she continues to live proudly, to use what I taught her to protect others…. I hope she finds that love she’s always been looking for. I never experienced anything like what she described….i wonder what being in love would have felt like. Is it like a love of spring air after a long winter? Or the joy of seeing a friend after a long absence? Perhaps it’s the feeling of finding home in another person, true contentment.….at any rate….it’s not destined for me in this lifetime. Still, I am thankful to have known what it is like to be loved by others, and to care for them just as much. I pray my passing doesn’t burden their hearts.

Forgive me father

I should have done more. I should have been strong enough to lift you from your darkness and make you see that life was still worth living after mother’s passing. I trained my hardest to carry on your legacy. As much as you dismissed me….I know in your heart that some part of you must be proud. Before mother passed, you told senjuro and i that we carried with us generations of knowledge, that with that knowledge we would protect others by carrying on flame breathing. I did just that, I became the Flame Hashira. I’ve protected others to the best of my ability…but i’ve always felt in part that I failed to protect you from yourself. Please, be kinder to Senjuro. Forgive me for not fighting harder to help you…please find that spark again within you once more. Not just for yourself, but for Senjuro too…he will need you, now more than ever. 

i love you mother

Your teachings never left me, I carried them forever with me in my heart. I tried to live by them to the best of my ability. I protected everyone on the train as best I could, i used the strength you saw within me to guide and protect so many. I never lost sight of the love you had for us, to make sure that Senjuro knew how much you loved him too. He said…he doesn’t remember your smile anymore. I do….because i got mine from you. I smiled every day, remembering how even in your last days you never stopped smiling or telling us how much you loved us….and I’ll be with you soon. I’m sure you’ll say it’s much too soon, but…I can’t wait to see you again…

can you hear the silence?

It’s quiet now. I can hear the sobbing of the boys surrounding me, but it is quiet. My last words have been spoken, were they the right thing to say? The constant ringing in my ears…it has finally stopped. It’s absence is almost….deafening.I’m thankful for it however,  for the first time in years I believe I'm hearing the world clearly….and it is beautiful….and tragic for how short it lasts. The quiet sobbing starts to dissipate, becoming muddled..almost like i’m underwater and then…silence. True silence. It will not be long now. I wish i could have heard the sound of my friends laughing once more, the high note of a wind chime as it sways in the breeze. There is simply a silence now, a quiet prelude. It won’t be long now.

can you see the dark?

My vision is hazy, but I swear the sun has never shone so beautifully as it has this morning. Though I can't feel much pain anymore….i can still feel the warmth of the sun on my back….it's comforting. Its rays are fighting back the darkness seeping in and out of my vision. I can make out the blurry vision of the checkered haori before me, a bright silhouette i can't quite see yet forming behind him. The focus is leaving me, i know i don’t have much time left, that it will be over soon. I will miss seeing so many things in this world…

can you fix the broken?

The Kamado boy, he’s heartbroken. He’s badly injured. His friend’s are hurt too. Many on the train will need to heal not just their bodies, but their spirits as well. They’ll carry the scars and fear of this night for a long while….but i pray they can find healing. I pray they find a way to fix what is broken, that this will only be but  a fleeting memory of an event they survived. I pray they find a way to move forward with their heads held high, to find things that make life worth living. Relish in happiness and joy for as long as it lasts. Live as though every day could be their last, to rejoice in the feeling of being alive. Find healing, my friends…

can you feel my heart?

It’s slowing down now….finally. I’ve done total concentration breathing constantly for so long now, I almost forgot what it was to have a slower heart rate. It’s…it’s like falling asleep very slowly. The world is shifting between darkness and a watercolor like haze…it’s taking so much longer than I thought it would. I’m glad, at least, I could get my message out before my lungs gave up. Truthfully….there was so much more i wanted to do. I had so much more to live for, to protect. Senjuro….Father….these boys….my allies….my friends…..i will miss you. But i did what i had to, I protected others. It’s what i was born to do…and i don’t regret it for a moment.   The sun feels like it's cradling me now, beaconing me to sleep in it’s warmth. I am…so tired. I can sleep now i think…and… now she is here to guide me to rest at last….

~Mother, do you think i did it right?

[emerald-chaos]

Insomnia

*gif not made by me, credit goes to the owner*

Hi Everyone! So it's been probably like...10 years since I wrote my last fic lol. Watching TFATWS has rekindled my undying love for Bucky Barnes and I just couldn't help but start writing again. I had to get my feelings out! I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I've been considering writing some more parts...so tell me if that's something you'd be interested in! I appreciate any and all constructive feedback or just feedback in general! Much love.

Pairing: Reader x Bucky Barnes

Word Count: 2533 (lowkey popped off...oops)

Warnings: Just in case...vague allusions to a dark past, struggles with mental illness, explicit language, and some suggestive conversation. Oh and some really bad jokes lol. Fluffy and angsty.

No matter how much you tossed and turned, how many sheep you counted, or how much you prayed and pleaded to any higher power that would listen – the release of sleep just wasn’t going to happen. You’re not sure why you were surprised, it’s not like this was the first time. You let out a heavy sigh and toss off the covers. This has been a nightly occurrence for as long as you can remember. When you were trying to rest, when there was no noise to block out the images in your head, it was a battle. A battle which you have always lost.

You flip on the bright florescent lights of the bathroom as you trudge in, dragging your feet in exhaustion. It takes a minute for your eyes to adjust to the harshness of the light as you place your hands onto the countertop. The cool marble feels good against your palms as you close your eyes and lean your head back, another sigh leaving your lips. You twist your neck from side to side, trying to release some tension and maybe get a satisfying pop. No such luck. As you open your eyes and gaze upon the person staring back at you a small laugh tumbles from your chest.

Jesus, she looks awful.

The dark circles that permanently reside below your eyes appear more pronounced than usual. The corners of your mouth hang low and you just look…tired. Like you were rode hard and put away wet.

The bottle of melatonin tucked away on your counter catches your eye. You pick it up and twirl it as you inspect the writing. “Sleep Support” you read, “may help promote restful sleep”. What a load of shit. You place the bottle back down and inspect the orange one next to it. The pills inside were about as useful as the melatonin. Nothing seemed to quiet the voices or stop the scenarios that plagued your mind. You splash some cold water on your face and grab for a towel to pat it dry. Your eyes drift to the mirror again, as if though the water was going to wash away the dead look in your eyes.

Yeah, fat chance.

Before you know it, your legs are carrying you through the compound. The only sounds present are the whirring of various appliances and the soft patter of your feet against the tile floors. The moonlight casts shadows over the various pieces of furniture and lights your path. Your fingers curl around the handle as you pull the sliding glass door open. The crisp outside air kisses your skin as you step out and close the door behind you. You find yourself settling down in your usual spot on the balcony and you sink into the comfort of the chair.

Many a sleepless night has been spent out here, admiring the way the moonlight gleams off of a nearby pond. Before the compound and the balcony, it was a fire escape and a bottle of bourbon. You kind of missed that coping mechanism a little bit. You were thankful, of course, to call this place your home. Thankful to feel safe for once. Thankful to be a part of a team that felt like more of a family than any sorry piece of shit who had been in your life before. Not that you were bitter about that or anything. A little baggage builds character. However, life hasn’t always been kind to you and your stupid brain had a cruel way of constantly reminding you of that fact.

In all honesty, Tony rescued you. You absolutely hated to allow him to relish in that fact, but it was true. He took a chance on a royally fucked up kid out of college who managed to skate by and earn a mechanical engineering degree. If you were to ask him, he would say it was because the first words you said to him were fuck off. Apparently, something about that translated to, “hey, I would be a great addition to your tech and development team”. Although, you were pretty sure you just really meant that he should fuck off. I mean, the guy’s reputation does have a bit of moral gray area to it. Somehow, some way, your tenacity made an impression on the billionaire. Now here you were - living at the Avenger’s compound, sitting on a balcony at 3:30 in the morning because you couldn’t turn your brain off long enough to find some peace and sleep. What a life.

Even as you were sitting here in your special spot, reminiscing about some actual good memories – your brain still tried to drift into the darkness. Glass breaking; voices, thick with hate, engaged in a screaming match, and the cold nights spent trying to find a safe space to eat and lay your head. Your fingers gripped into the arms of the chair as you felt the heaviness in your chest increase.

“God damn it,” you cursed through gritted teeth.

The panic attacks were a second nature at this point, but you still really hated when you lost control. Your eyes closed tight as you tried to rack your brain to remember the bullshit your therapist had told you earlier in the week. Something about 5 things you can see?

“We gotta stop meeting like this, Doll”

The voice ripped you from inside your mind and back to reality. Your eyes opened and were met with a beautiful pair of cerulean ones. You blamed the skip in your heartbeat on your fading panic attack - although, you knew better than that.

“Well, it seems to me that the only logical conclusion is that you’re stalking me, Barnes” you quipped as a grin spread across your face.

“Could say the same about you,” Bucky retorted as he sank into the chair beside you, “besides, been doin’ this a lot longer than you’ve been around”.

You rolled your eyes, but the super soldier had a point. Almost each and every time, aside from the ones that happened when the team was away, you two would meet like this – here on the balcony, both searching for something to replace the sleep that neither of you could find.

“Yeah, we get it, you’re old” a laugh fell from your lips as Bucky snorted at your remark, a grin remaining ever present on his lips.

The familiar silence took over as he leaned his head back against the chair, closing his eyes. Meanwhile, yours were hungrily taking him in - tracing over the stubble on his chin, the soft pinkness of his parted lips. Recently he’d gotten his hair cut and even though you much preferred the long hair, you would rather die than actually admit that to him. Your crush on the 106 year old grumpy ass was one of your best kept secrets. At least, you thought you’d kept it from being painfully obvious.

The man sitting before you, he had a tough exterior and a horrific history, but you knew him better than that. You knew about the way his nose scrunched up when you made him laugh and the way his eyes looked as he listened intently to every story you ever told him. You knew the sweet melody of his laugh and the far off stare that meant he was also held captive by his own thoughts. This late-night rendezvous had become somewhat of a routine for the two of you and you would be lying if you said it wasn’t your favorite part of the day.

The first time it was a short nod and typical white person, thin-lipped smile as you left to find a different spot to suffer alone. Shortly after, it developed into cohabiting the balcony – staying on your own separate sides of course, only occasionally sharing words. Then, before you knew it, the two of you would be sitting beside each other, shooting the shit like you’d known each other for years. Just two, incredibly fucked up individuals, trying to make each other feel a little more human.

Bucky had always given off the quiet, brooding energy. Typically he kept to himself, other than with close friends like Steve, choosing to stand in the corner and listen to the conversation rather than be a part of it. Occasionally he would give a quip during a meeting that would catch people off guard, but mostly he just sat there and stared. The Bucky you had come to know was nothing like the person that others wanted to make him out to be. Sure, at one point he was a masterful assassin who killed like he got pleasure from it – but that wasn’t him. The Winter Soldier and Bucky Barnes were not synonymous.

If only the world could meet Bucky at 3am.

“What’s going on in that empty head of yours over there?” Bucky’s voice once again brought you back to reality as you laid your eyes on the familiar grin plastered across his face.

“Please,” you huffed, cheeks tinted a light shade of pink at the thought of him catching you staring, “which one of us has a college degree again?”

His laugh was a symphony to your ears. Your smile mirrored his when he opened his eyes and turned his head to look at you.

“So, what is it tonight? That nightmare again?” he asked, voice dropping an octave as his facial features softened in a way you really hoped only you got to see.

“Mm, not quite” you responded, your voice a broken whisper.

Bucky wasn’t the type to pry, but with you he wouldn’t even have to. Talking to him, sharing your deepest secrets and fears, telling him about the nightmares that kept you awake at night – it all came easily. Too easily.

“This week it’s...it’s that image of my stupid mother. Standing there with her black eyes and busted lip, telling me that it was me that was the problem. That it was me who...” you swallowed hard, the heaviness creeping back into your chest and tears fighting to wet your eyes. God you hated that you let this get the best of you.

Just as your mind started to bring you back to that dark place it was interrupted by the feeling of warmth spreading over your body. You looked down to see Bucky’s large hand resting right above your knee. When your eyes met again, he gave you a soft look that made your heart scream.

“I’m sorry,” you could tell he meant it as he gave your knee a soft squeeze.

A small smile flashed over your face and you had to resist the urge to reach out and cup his soft, stubbled cheek in your hand.

“Hey, we’re all a little fucked up, right?” you joked.

“Some more than others,” he replied, those beautiful wrinkles appearing around his nose as he scrunched it up with another laugh.

“Thanks, Buck... I’m sure you’d rather be doing anything other than listening to my sob story,” you reluctantly broke eye contact and looked down at the hem of your shirt as you fiddled with it in your fingers.

You were all too aware at the loss of contact as Bucky drew his hand back and leaned back into his chair.

“Doll,” he started as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes again - you could swear you almost saw a grin on his lips, “there are very few things I’d rather do than sit with you on the balcony at 3am”.

At that moment it felt as though time stood still. Sure, you had flirtatious banter back and forth occasionally and made a habit out of spilling your deepest regrets to each other during the wee hours of the morning, but this felt different. This felt like a confession.

You’d be lying to yourself if you tried to convince yourself, or anyone else for that matter, that you didn’t have a thing for him. I mean - who wouldn’t? The guy was a gentleman; he was soft spoken and caring, he was a dork who loved to crack jokes at the most inappropriate times, the type of person who would give you the shirt off of his own back if it meant you were taken care of.

He....well, he was Bucky.

And god damn it if you didn’t love him.

You’re unsure of how much time has passed, but one minute you’re sitting on your chair, chewing your lip and droning on about the man in front of you in your head. The next minute you found yourself on his lap, knees seated on either side of his waist as your legs straddle him and your hands connect with the skin they so desperately craved to feel. Bucky’s eyes opened slowly and met yours as you let the pad of your thumb gently run along the curve of his bottom lip. The uneven breaths leaving your chest hitched as you felt his hands grip your hips softly. Refusing to break eye contact, Bucky gently pressed a kiss to the pad of your thumb. You dragged his lower lip down briefly.

“Well,” he began. His voice was barely above a whisper but it’s thick, lustful tone made you shiver from head to...well, you know, “are you gonna kiss me, Doll? Or do I have to do all the work myself?”

He barely finished his sentence before your lips captured his. It was messy, almost all teeth and tongue. It was needy, as if it was the last time either of you would ever kiss anyone again. It was fucking incredible.

Bucky’s metal arm snaked up your back and found its way into your hair, curling his fingers gently around the strands at the back of your head, as his other arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to his form. He was intoxicating. This whole situation was something you had briefly imagined months ago, but ultimately pushed out of your mind. There was no way that he would ever be interested in someone like you. Yet, here he was, tongue fighting for entrance into your mouth.

You aren’t quite sure who pulled away first. Both of you were gasping for air, chests heaving up and down as you both stared into each other's lust-blown pupils.

“You kiss pretty well for someone who hasn’t had a girlfriend since 1940,” you teased, laughing as he rolls his eyes at the comment.

“You just don’t know when to shut that mouth of yours, do ya?” he practically growled, ever so slightly tightening his grip on your waist, and you almost lost it from just the sound of his voice alone.

“Why don’t you make me, Barnes?” you leaned in close, warm breath fanning over the shell of his ear.

A yelp escaped your throat as you were suddenly jerked up to a standing position, locking your ankles behind his back as he effortlessly held you up by your thighs.

“Oh Doll,” he chuckled darkly into your neck, almost making you pass out from the sensation, “I thought you’d never ask”.

[anyoneseenadam]

Home: Chapter Seven

azriel x reader (acotar)

summary: (y/n) is a daughter of Persephone, still recovering from the trauma of her fall into Tartarus and doesn’t have time for a stupid, handsome, annoying, stunning, injured man. But now they’re stuck together in the middle of nowhere and there only chance of getting home is if she can heal him, and fast.

warnings: big spoilers for mark of Athena and house of Hades, also for the acotar series, eventual smut, blood, PTSD, graphic descriptions of violence, injuries and torture, enemies to lovers so az is a bit of a dick to start, swearing, 

word count: 3.9k

a/n: I’m entirely writing this to distract myself from the real world but honesty I’m having a great time, I think there will be one more chapter after this one and maybe an epilogue but asides from that, also feel free to message or ask if you want to be tagged :)) anyway enjoy and pls comment and shiz :)

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Azriel had once joked that you were like an actual flower, needing water and sunlight to use your powers. At the time you had laughed but now as you stood in front of the mirror, wiping the tears from under your eyes, and preparing to walk into the world of all things dead, you understood. The dress you wore was one of the few fancy ones you reserved for the dinners you were often dragged to before your fall. It was lavender, with tulle cascading down your legs from the waist, paired with a tight corset top and tulle off-the-shoulder sleeves. As you sat with a ‘humph’ and started applying your makeup, your stepbrother walked in.

“Well you look cheery,” Nico said, sitting on your bed.

“I look like an evil power puff girl,”

“You look like you are a princess, which you are so my dad is going to be pleased.”

“I really don’t care what he thinks,” you snapped, and Nico help up his hands. He was wearing all black as usual, simple dress pants and a loose black shirt tucked in, his belt matched his rings, and his dark hair and even darker eye bags made him look every bit the Underworld prince. “Sorry, I’m not mad at you,” you said turning back around to carry on with your makeup.

“I know, it’s stressful for you,” he moved to sit next to you, resting his head on your shoulder and you applied eyeliner.

“I don’t wanna get sick again, I have things to do. Plus I’ve got to convince your dad to let me ask for this favour. I just feel like it’s all going to go to shit.”

“I get it, you’ll be fine though. Also I’m pretty sure your mum is going to do anything for you if it means you’ll speak to her again, so she’ll be on your side at least. That’s three vs one.” He nudged you as you put down the eyeliner.

“That’s true.” You bit the inside of your lip and Nico, sensing your worry, changed topic.

“Tell me about Azriel,” He said, and you caught his eye in the mirror.

“Huh?”

“Well I gotta make sure that when you become his problem it will be permanent, I don’t want you coming back,” he joked.

“Fuck you,” you laughed shoving his shoulder and he giggled, rolling onto his back.

“I don’t want to do thisssss,” Nico said in a sing-song voice lying flat on the floor.

“Me neither but I’m not going in alone bitch,” you laughed, starting to feel slightly better. It was moments like this that made you regret pushing your friends away, the thought of seeing them was always scary but when you were with your brother again you remembered why you loved them so much. You assessed your outfit in the mirror and sighed.

“What?” Nico asked, sitting back up.

“This would look really nice with a dark red lip,” you said, biting your lip.

“Do you have one?” he asked, and you nodded. He was quiet for a second before reaching out and ruffling through your makeup, finding your favourite red lipstick. “Do you wanna try?”

“Yeah, but if I cry it’ll mess up my eyeliner.” You said with a shaky laugh. He laughed quietly handing you the lipstick and you looked at him in the mirror, taking in a shuddering breath. You were stronger than this and you could handle it. You closed your eyes for a minute, counting your breaths, before opening the lipstick.

Once it was applied you lifted your chin, staring down the girl in the mirror. Nico grabbed your hand softly and you tore your eyes away, standing and pulling on your shoes.

“Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

--

Azriel was in a shit mood. He was 90% sure that you had cast some sort of spell on him when he was with you, something that made him happy and relaxed, because now that you weren’t here he pretty much wanted to throttle everyone.

Amren had been helping him look for a way to get back to you. The first thing they had tried was winnowing, he pictured your face; your smile, the way your hands felt in his, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t reach you. So they had been scanning books since then, reading up on every theory and myth. Nesta had brought him to speak to Gwyn who had told him about the theory that there could be up to at least 20 other worlds. Amren had also made him talk through every detail about this world he could remember, writing diligent notes as Cassian gave him weird looks when he spoke about Bucky Barnes.

“He’s a character, it’s a simple concept.”

“Yeah but how do you get an emotional connection to a character?”

“Shut up both of you.”

The pain in his chest was only growing as well, and he came to the daunting realisation that if he failed this; if he couldn’t get back to you, or get you back to him, he would probably have to deal with it for the rest of his long, long life.

He felt bad for taking his frustrations out on his family who were just worried about him, but he had never felt this way before. All he could think of was the way your eyes cleared when the realisation dawned on you. The way you had gone from sobs to a different, all-consuming kind of pain, just for a second, your eyes clearing as you realised you might never see him again. He hated himself for not being strong enough to put up a fight, he knew he wasn’t a match for a god, but he should’ve tried, he was too shocked at the time, too heartbroken, but now he was terrified that you might think he gave up on you. He had to get back to you, he was afraid what you might do if you were alone again. If you were alone after having the bond dangled in front of you, only to have it ripped away moments later.

It was almost 3am and everyone else in the house had gone to bed, but Azriel didn’t sleep well normally, and he especially wouldn’t while he was apart from you. He looked up from his book when he heard someone clear their throat, his head whipped up an incredulous smile gracing his features when he saw you sitting there.

“Baby,” he started moving forward but you held your hand up, stopping him.

“Oh that’s just too sweet, you kids are giving me so much content,” you dabbed at your eyes, and Azriel frowned.

“(y/n)? what’s going on?”

“Oh I’m not (y/n) sweetie, but that’s just adorable. My name is Aphrodite, Goddess of love and beauty, I often appear as whoever you find most beautiful.” Azriel’s heart dropped, the brief happiness he felt seeing your face gone as the lady spoke.

“Aphrodite? Hermes mentioned you.” He said, tensing as he realised he was dealing with another god. “In fact he said it was your fault this all happened.”

“Oh Hermes, always blaming someone else. You should be thanking me.”

“And why would I do that.” Azriel knew the look on his face was deadly, but something about seeing a god cower under his gaze was feeding his ego.

“Haven’t you worked out why you can’t travel back to her.” She raised her eyebrows at him, her expressions may be on your face, but as he paid more attention she seemed like a completely different person. “I have the power to move through world’s, you do not. I just thought that poor, sweet girl had been through enough that she should get to meet her soulmate. I waited for you after your mission and then just made you forget and let the two of you fall in love naturally, I mean I get teary eyed thinking about it, you’re just too cute!”

Azriel’s shoulders relaxed slightly, “So why are you here? Are you going to bring her to me?”

“Hmm I could, but I’d get in so much trouble, plus she’s very smart and I want to see if her plan works. You people are so very entertaining.” Her face rippled for a second as she turned, and she briefly looked like Mor, then Elain, then back to you. “But you, poor boy,” He chose to ignore the condescending tone, “You were dealt a very bad hand love wise, so maybe if she doesn’t succeed I could pull a few strings, but I do have a holiday planned so it may be a few decades.”

Her laugh made him feel sick and he glared at her, “What did you say about her plan?”

“Oh yes! She’s going down to the underworld to try find a solution,” Aphrodite was moving around the room gracefully as Azriel sat back down, the weight of Aphrodite’s easy words hitting him. She picked up one of the books laying on the desk and made an unimpressed noise, throwing it back down carelessly.

“That’s where the dead go right?” he asked, silently praying he was wrong,

“Yup! Don’t worry though, her mother lives there too,” she said ‘mother’ with a slight snarl, but Azriel ignored her. “You know I get why she likes you, you’re very pretty aren’t you?” She walked over to him, swaying your hips and he had to remind himself it wasn’t you as she sat down in his lap, forcing his hands to stay clenched at his side. She ran your hand along his jaw, tilting her head with a smile as she stroked his face. Her thumb rested on his bottom lip as he glared at her with murderous rage, trying to reel it in as he remembered she was possibly the only one that could help him.

“Well I guess I better go,” She sighed dramatically then pressed a perfectly polished gold coin into his hand, “Flip this if you need me, emergencies and sex only.” She winked at him, before kissing his cheek and standing, waving seductively before vanishing. Azriel sat for a few minutes, reeling from the interaction he just had. Is this the world I’ve entered now? Gods who can do whatever they want? He wondered if that’s why you avoided talking about the Gods, if maybe growing up with this had made you bitter to them. He wanted to ask you and talk to you about it, or anything for that matter but instead he just pocketed the coin and stood, winnowing to his room, and collapsing on his bed.

--

“Sweetie, you look beautiful,” Your mother cried out as you and Nico arrived, you were leaning heavily on his arm, while surrounded by death, the coldness of a lifeless place seeped into your bones and weakened you, you had learnt as much the first time you visited. You gave your mother a tight-lipped smile and hugged her awkwardly.

“Oh I missed you so much dear,” she stroked your hair, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes.

“You could’ve visited.” It was hard to keep the bitterness out of your voice, after all you had gone through and she hadn’t visited once. A look of shock passed over her face but before she could reply Hades thundered in, his usual outfit, ‘the robes of death and despair’ as you fondly called them, were replaced by a dark suit, his hair slicked back from his face. He came to Persephone’s side and rested a hand around her waist pulling her in slightly, and despite yourself you felt a little jealous of their closeness as your mother looked up at him with doe eyes.

“Nico, my son, how are you?” Hades deep voice silenced the room, the very air seeming to stand still, and Nico flushed red as he was put on the spot. The four of you exchanged pleasantries as you made your way to the ridiculously long table, Hades sat at the head on one side, Persephone on the other, with Nico and you facing each other in the centre. The wood was dark, but the table was covered in all sorts of colourful food and you all helped yourselves while making small talk, only managing to hear your parents due to the eery silence of the room, dead guards not needing to make any noise.

After the first few courses and once you had consumed enough white wine to gain some courage you turned to face your mother.

“Mum, I think I need a favour if that’s okay?” you asked with great caution, extremely aware of the powerful forces surrounding you.

“Well that depends dear. What is it?”

“After the battle and the… fall, I never got my reward remember, I instead asked to be able to come get it when I needed it.”

“Yes of course, I thought that was very smart!” your mother spoke cheerfully but you could feel Hades’ gaze on your back, burning through your skin and bones to the very essence of your soul. “Let me guess, you need it now?”

“If that’s okay, some things have changed recently and I now know what I need,” you smiled at her, “I met a man, well actually he’s a faerie. Aphrodite wanted us to meet because we’re soulmates and after my fall she thought I deserved to see him, but since he’s from another world he had to go back, and we can’t be together.” You wiped away a few stray tears you forced out; this was your game. Your mother didn’t visit you often so she had never seen this side of you, the side that could manipulate even a god into giving you what you wanted. “So I thought, maybe for my reward I could become Fae and be permitted to live with Azriel in his world, and maybe come and visit my friends occasionally?”

“Oh that sounds lovely dear! That’s so alike me, I had to beg my mother and even then she didn’t let me stay here,” your mother rattled on and you smiled at her, but your shoulders were still tense as you knew you hadn’t won yet. You turned to where Hades sat, rubbing his temples.

“I get it. I do. But I really don’t think my brother would allow that, it’s too much.”

“Too much?” you asked, a bitter laugh escaping.

“I understand you went through a lot,”

“Do you?” you couldn’t stop the biting words, “Because the last I checked you both sat and did nothing while I was tortured down there. You could’ve done something, but you didn’t, you made a choice not to, and now I ask for ONE thing, and it’s too much?” Hades’ glare was murderous, but you weren’t going to back down.

“I mean if you really think about it, I’ll be out of your hair if you agree. One less demi-god always seems to be a win for you guys.” Nico said your name in warning, but you slowly stood. “I am not asking for much, I am asking to be allowed to live a life with the man I love and after all I have been through, fighting YOUR battles, I think it’s the least I deserve.”

You held Hades’ gaze for a few more seconds until he spoke. “Are you sure your not a child of Nyx?” he asked, and you grinned, cocking your head to the side.

“Why would that be?”

“You have a pure evil streak in you girl and uncharted power. You better learn to control it, before someone catches on.”

“We won’t have a problem I’m presuming?”

“I’ll see what I can do,” he said gruffly, going back to his meal and you relaxed, moving to hug your mother goodbye, whispering thanks to her, before linking arms with Nico and leaving.

--

The next day you awoke to a golden invitation to Olympus, and you smiled, soon. You’d be with him soon.

--

Olympus looked much nicer since Annabeth had gotten involved. You may have been biased but it seemed to hold a sense of home it never had before, the clinical cleanliness now feeling purer and more loving. The throne room however had remained much the same.

You stood alone in the middle surrounded by the arc of thrones, but you refused to take your eyes of Zeus. You had received a wink from Apollo and a smile from Aphrodite as you walked in but beside that it had been eye contact for at least five minutes. You knew better to speak before you were spoken to but the way they surrounded you and stared down on you was bringing up bad memories and you were really fighting a panic attack.

Seemingly sensing this Apollo cleared his throat, “Perhaps we should start father?” While you were grateful a part of you hated how well the flirtatious god knew you, he was the first to tend to your wounds when you first escaped, healing them enough so you wouldn’t die from blood loss but not enough for anyone to suggest he was picking favourites. His warm hands had provided a sense of comfort you thought you had lost entirely.

Zeus nodded slowly, a letter appearing in his hand, “So these are your terms? Transformation into high Fae, permission to live in a new world with visits back to this one twice a year?” you presumed Hades, or your mother had written the letter, neither of them present currently. You nodded clearly, not entirely trusting your voice.

“I guess it’s only fair, but a full transformation will hurt,”

“I’m sure I can take it.” you lifted your chin, holding your shaking hands tightly in an attempt to conceal them.

Zeus laughed, not taking his eyes of you, “I’m sure you can. Does anyone have any major oppositions?”

Aphrodite raised her hand, “I’d like to add that during her transformation, her womb changes shape so she may birth Illyrian children.” You shot her a grateful look, still not entirely sure why she was suddenly so invested in ensuring your happiness, but you wouldn’t complain.

Hera was the next to speak and you fought the urge to roll your eyes, “Why is she getting special treatment again? What did she do that was so different?”

“She was tortured for days!” Athena exclaimed,

“So?” Ares now.

“She was a child, it was brutal.” Apollo jumped to your aid and soon the chamber was filled with shouting voices as they argued over your fate.

“SILENCE.” Zeus quieted the room instantly and every eye turned to him, but he remained focused on you, “Well then? Answer the question girl, what makes you so special?”

You thought for a second before answering, “I don’t consider it special treatment. After the battles I’ve fought and the pain I’ve endured to help your causes, I’d consider it a form of retirement.” You kept Zeus’ gaze and let a streak of the evil Hades had warned you off show, smiling when his smug smile disappeared. He waved his hand, “Very well then, High Fae with altered womb and permission to live in their world and visit our occasionally, that is all?”

You nodded and he assessed you before holding out his hand, his gaze darkening. You furrowed your eyebrows as your limbs started to tingle before pain took over your entire body.

--

You had felt pain so many times before, pain that left more than just physical trauma, but this was different. You felt as if your blood had become fire and every bone was breaking as new ones reformed. You didn’t have any sense of time or place, all you could feel was pain. At one point you thought it was over only to open your eyes, feeling impossibly soft sheets beneath you, and see Apollo hovering over you, sweat dripping from his brow as he took some of the pain away, even for just a moment.

When you finally awoke you were on the ground. You stood up quickly, almost knocking yourself over as your movement were much faster than usual. You were outside a glowing city, it didn’t have skyscrapers like New York, but it was so comforting to look at you felt yourself being drawn in. As you crossed the border however, a beautiful man with dark hair appeared, his eyes narrowing.

“Who are you and why are you trying to get in here?” A shot of fear went through you as you felt his magic, it was thick in the air and powerful.

“I’m not going to hurt anyone, I’m just looking for someone,” you explained, swallowing down the lump in your throat. The handsome man’s gaze turned vacant before softening after a moment.

“I apologise, I’m Rhysand. Let me help you find whoever it is, what’s their name?”

“That’s okay, really. His name is Azriel, but I don’t think he’s expecting me.” Rhysand stopped, his head turning towards you, “what is it?” you asked.

“(y/n)?”

“How do you know my name?” you stepped back but he held out his hands,

“No, no I’m Az’s brother, let me take you to him.” he grabbed your arm softly and suddenly you were standing in a warm room facing Azriel. You felt tears fill your eyes as you stared at him, he uttered your name in question and you nodded running into his arms, completely engulfed by his scent, tears of joy running down your face when you suddenly realised something, pulling away.

“Did you say brother?” you turned to Rhysand, feeling all the plants in the air respond to your calls, when Azriel tugged you back to him.

“Not biological don’t worry.” He whispered and Rhysand laughed.

“I like her.”

“Hmm I was two seconds away from castrating you,” His eyes widened slightly and you laughed, turning back to Azriel as he looked over you.

“How- you, you’re Fae?” His eyes were filled with worry again, afraid he was being tricked.

“I never got my reward remember, I knew I would need it in the future,” you smiled at him as he cupped your face and leaned down to kiss you. You pulled apart, Azriel growling when you heard catcalls, turning, and seeing the room had practically filled. A shot of fear went through you as your eyes landed on another man who had red siphons, and Azriel followed your gaze, a hand stroking your face in reassurance.

“So this must be (y/n), welcome to our home, I’m Feyre,” A beautiful woman stepped forward and clasped your hand in hers, which you noted were stained from paint. Everyone else soon made introductions and they urged you to sit as you found out about this makeshift family Azriel was in.

“Oh! That’ll be Nyx, I’ll go,” Feyre said when a baby started crying in the distance,

“Wait what did she say the babies name was?” You asked, holding in a laugh.

“Nyx?” Rhys said,

“Oh, course, cool cool cool,”

“What?” Azriel asked, looking at you strangely.

“I’ve kind of met her,”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, she’s like the evilest deity there is, and she did not like me,” Rhysand stared at you with a look of shock on his face, but before anyone said anything else, Amren was laughing loudly.

“You must tell me all about these Gods girl.”

--------------------------------------------------

tags: @tastedlikedamnation

[imagines-mha]

class 1-B and night routines

Monoma: if monoma doesn’t annoy at least 2 people per night he simply will not sleep. Wears the comfiest pyjamas- like a 100% cotton top and plaid pj bottoms and everyones so fuckin jealous. He tells everyone he has a 16 step self-care routine he does every night but he really just brushes his teeth and then sits on his phone for like 2 hours? Ike what do you GET out of lying??? 

Tetsutetsu: he thinks going to bed after 11pm is criminal. Literally doesn’t understand the cryptidcrew™️ who DONT MF SLEEP. Works out before bed which is 👌🏻👌🏻 OOF. Aw hes the type of friend to make everyone tea and toast and send them asmr videos if they cant sleep i love him. He usually spends his night dancing around with pony and working off all his ENERGY

Kendo: “yall im turning into bed i’m too tired for this shit” “kendo it’s 7pm”

My girl will retire to her room as early as she can (usually with the rest of the girls) and she just RELAXES. Like self-care to the max: paints her nails, watches tv, plans her tomorrow, showers. She’s usually asleep at 10pm and wakes up the next morning full energy I want what she has

Awase: he has the WORST sleep schedule like fr. Literally sits up on tiktok until 3am and he’s just like “oh shit i’m up at 7…” *continues scrolling* like bro GET UR ASS TO BED U HAVE TRAINING AT 6AM. His night routine ain’t anything special- he sleeps in sweats and always keeps his window open (although someone told him about banshees once and now hes lowkey terrified lmao)

Kaibara- the type to fall asleep on the sofa and wake up at 4 in the morning to find tsuburaba in the kitchen eating a full course meal and he just SIGHS and goes up to bed in the worst mood bc why tf are his friends so WEIRD. Likes to watch the stars and edit pictures before he sleeps- its so therapeutic to him and also productive so he’s winning

Rin- he drinks coffee every night after midnight and then goes “oh my fuck shit i just drank coffee why am i like this” like congrats u fuckin dumbass now u ain’t gonna sleep. And he never fuckin learns. Always does his hw at like 11pm, Also stays up way too late binge-watching star wars smh 

Tsuburaba: he gets up every night and treats himself to a three-course meal in the kitchen no cap no sound awareness my man will be blending shit full blast at 2 in the morning. Usually falls asleep sitting at the kitchen table and he 👏🏻 needs 👏🏻 a 👏🏻 chiropractor 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻. Also always forgets to do his homework until everyone’s packing up to go to bed and hes like “please,, anyone,, the math?”. Shoda wants to punch him so bad

Ibara: the most well-structured person in the entire building. At 7pm she has her shower, at 8:30pm she goes to pray, at 9:30pm she journals and draws to calm her mind, and at 10pm she meditates until she falls asleep- which is usually 10:20pm.. Everyone wants her self control and independance like damn how does she FUNCTION. Also queen of vegan self-care remedies 

Pony: girl is chaotic as fuck it’ll be like 10pm and rin’s like “yo pony can i copy the hw??” And shes like “WHAT HOMEWORK.” . *cue two idiots freaking tf out*. She’s always wearing matching pj sets and fluffy socks and loves sliding around in them like a dork. Dances every night before bed to tire herself out like shes just in the lounge deadass vibing to taylor swift and a new person joins her everytime . people would be dead without her

Kodai: movies every night or she won’t go to class the next morning. Shes always just sitting on her phone w earphones in like she has absoloutely no time to deal with monoma’s shit so she just peaces tf out of existence. Cutest pyjamas ever i love her pyjama queen. The go-to girl for homework she just leaves her bag open, as long as u return it shes cool

Tokage: oh my god shes so CRYPTIC and FOR WHAT. Pranks pranks pranks pranks pranks. everyone hates her for it and she loves it so bad. Like she has the balls to prank kamakiri and that TAKES BALLS LET ME JUST SAY . she’ll just leave her body parts in people’s beds and its SO annoying. They usually just pick up her stray arm and fling it at the wall in revenge then act confused the next morning when she complains abt the bruises 

Komori: cryptic as fuck. Does she sleep? Why is she always sitting at the table? What is she doing? . Closes her tabs whenever someone comes into the dining room and just stares at them til they leave again like :)). In the garden every night til she can’t bear the coldness- watches the stars and makes flower crowns and worships the moon i love her

Kuroiro: nighttime is the time he just evaporates like where tf is he like 🙄🙄 reel it in randy from monsters inc . Hiding in the walls and listening to everyones conversations and secrets is his only skill in life . Everyone thinks he doesn’t sleep and just wanders around (he does, he just likes to have an edgy reputation)

Kamakiri- did you hear that?? oh its just kamakiri fistfighting monoma in the hallway again. Fr takes no prisoners he needs his beauty sleep (or idk do bugs sleep lmao??). If you’re in his way while he’s RAMPAGING to his room youre dead bro when i say he takes bedtime routines seriously i MEAN it. He does self-care and tells NOONE but its lowkey cute idk lmao why do i have a crush on a bug lemme call my therapist real quick

Bondo- 9pm. Wind down time. A good book is all my mans needs and he’ll be out for the count in absolutely no time at all. Fukidashi will die jealous and bondo fucking loves it. Milks tf out of it too he’s like YAWN I AM SO TIRED OFF TO BED NOW TO SLEEP PEACEFULLY GOODNIGHT and everyone who WISHES they could sleep as early as that wants him to choke

Manga- king of never having hw done until 1am at the earliest 🤡. He lives on 1 hour sleep most nights and his speech bubble just says “no <3” until like 11am. Its cus of his crippling hyperactivity he’s running the halls at 3am practicing the entire mamma mia choreography ffs fukidashi U HAVE A CAREER AHEAD OF U 

Reiko: energy drink addiction 101 if she doesn’t drink monster every night before bed she’s convinced she’ll die. “I sleep all day and party all night” she says, crying over math hw at 2am. Plays music too loud and has LED strobelites on ALL NIGHT. Shes deadass doing witchcraft in the lounge w komori all night during finals week she doesnt give a single fuck x

Shishida: another reader,, mans will finish an entire book in a night by the force of sheer willpower alone. Takes a bath every night and it makes his fur so fluffy and smell like apples smdnwjdnwd. Perfect snuggle buddy for wintertimes (pony LOVES HIM) and he’s that good man who carries tsuburaba to bed when he falls asleep at the kitchen table

Shoda: “please don’t speak to me while im doing my homework im 👌🏻 this close to having a mental breakdown and all it takes is a single poke to reel me over the edge.” Complains all day about being tired then goes to bed at 2am?? Like no shit ofc ur tired bitch . Always up for a deep talk at night he knows EVERYTHING abt EVERYONE and hes so trustworthy hed never tell a soul

Honenuki: he meal preps and does yoga before bed 🤢 like WHO HAS THAT MOTIVATION. Irons and sets his uniform out for the next day before getting his homework FINISHED by 9pm . He’s pretty flexible w what he does at nights it 100% depends on his mood. Usually he’s helping Tokage with pranks or working out w tetsutetsu tho. Used to annoy people who were up doing hw after 11 like “really tsuburaba? You should be ashamed”. Shoda almost DECKED him once for it tho and he was #traumatised and never did it again

[milks-writings]

u just made me to ask about that request ok?? this is your fault.... sO. can i please ask about gn reader x terushima (yes...) dating HC thank u.. 💔

✿.｡.:*☆.:*:*:.☆*.:｡.✿.✿.｡.:*☆.:*:*:.☆*.:｡.✿.

☆*.:｡.✿ 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘: Yūji Terushima x GN!Reader;  

☆*.:｡.✿ 𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: swearing, the thirst in this post is real but only very low-key NSFW

☆*.:｡.✿ 𝕒/𝕟: Sephi-Sephi, bless your angelic soul for requesting this 😭❤

I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH AHHH AOSDJFD 😭😭😭

Eye--- Sephi da best man imma throw hands at people who disagree 😤❤

I def loved writing those n simping for Terushima,,,

☆*.:｡.✿ 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

☆*.:｡.✿ Headcanons:

Dating Terushima:

TERUSHIMA:

I AM A BIG SIMP FOR THIS MAN,,, BUT HE IS HOT SO CAN YOU BLAME ME????

No u can not blame me

OK I WILL STOP THIRSTING N WRITING THOSE HEADCANONS AHHHH

So,,, listen me out,,, yes, he is a big flirt but dating him was the best decision on your whole fcking life

OK HE IS A BIG FUCKING FLIRT N SHIT BUT GOD DAMN IT, HE JUST WANTS A S/O WHO WILL LOVE HIM :(((

In other words: He is a babey and a simp for you

Ok, first of all, let’s talk about how you two meet:

It was probably the worst first expression EVER

So you go to Johzenji High n it was your first day, not in school, but as a second year and you were SO confused because you had no idea where the classrooms had been

And while desperately trying to find the classroom you ran into this WHOLE DAMN MEAL 🥵🥵🥵

My thirst is showing excuse me please

N E WAY

After looking up you almost fainted because omg have u seen this mans eyes n intense gaze

And you swore you needed a whole damn bottle after seeing him

“Watcha doin here babe?”

NO, NOW U DEF FAINTED HSHSHODFD

“eH I am trying to find my classroom”

Rip you,,, cuz you two are in the same class,,, so I am praying for you 🙏🏻

After he leads you to the classroom he just dared to sit beside you and eye you from the corner of his eyes

DAMN I WANNA GET DICKED DOWN SO HARD BY HIM OLJASDF

Ehhh continuing

This is basically how you two meet, and surprisingly, after getting closer to him, he started to drink his respect woman/man juice just for you

And omg,,, he literally begged you to get the volleyball’s manager

So after 100 times, you agreed because you low-key got annoyed with him trying to convince you ://

But omg after you agreed he got such a clingy boy, in a good way!

You always thought he was a flirting mf, but deep down, he is just a babey who wants to have fun in his life and be happy

He is still low-key horny tho and it’s kinda showing sometimes---

EHH N E WAY

We will move on to how you two started dating:

He is not so straightforward like we all might think hshhsdofsd

He is SOOO embarrassed about asking you out

Ok but side note; ever since you are the manager he started walking you back home after practice because he was worried that someone might hurt you awe <3

But one day he seemed so uneasy, like you knew that he had something on his mind, but the closer you got to your house, the more nervous he got and quiet as well

LITERALLY WILL STUTTER HSHSDOF

“Uh- So-” he is so red omg

“I- You know- I just thought about-” BISH JUST SAY IT

“Maybe- you wanna- go on a date with me- someday---”

DID HE STOP BREATHING????

“Eh?” your mind just legit stopped working,,

“Uhhh----” He doesn’t know what to say and gets so shy,

And starts fidgeting with the strap of his backpack 🥺🥺

“Oh,,, I mean yes! I Would love to” you agree while quickly nodding and his face goes from :c to :D in 0.5 seconds

“Oh? Really, you sweetie really want to go on a date with me?~” And his flirting nature is back ://

“I take it back”

“wdym u can’t take it back hshdfsd” he--- he just said keyboard smashing???

“ok ok I am sorry???” confusion

N E WAY, THAT'S HOW HE ASKED U OUT 🥳🥳

Afterward he will move on so fast omg---

Like the next day he already planned a second date, then the third one and so on

BUT he would be so shy holding hands, and also so shy to kiss you

But he is a gentleman and will always ask you before he will do anything!

Y’all are fcking trippin if you think that Terushima is disrespect itself

He likes and respects you a lot,,, really much,,, he is a fucking simp ok

N E WAY

How is your relationship with this simp?

It’s perfect, and right now, I am not exaggerating

He will do anything to make you happy really like I said a simp

Will spoil you with everything you want eye---

He will call you so many nicknames omg

For example, he often calls you babygirl/boy, baby, babe or princess/prince

AHHH HE LOVES PDA SO MUCH HSHSDHF

But only if you are okay with that

And if you are okay with that

He will literally make out with you in public

Because he is a horny boy oop

N E WAY

Dates are the best with this babey boy

He will take you anywhere!!!

Like you can only think about it and the next day he takes you to this place

Also loves to hug you randomly and shower you in kisses

No fr,,, he loves the fact that you like him back, and he is just so happy with you ahhh <3<3<3

Stops flirting with everyone and deletes every female/male contact on his phone even though you never asked

Not because of you as well

But because he knows that he doesn’t need a side chic now because he can give you all his love <3<3

Ehhh,, yes I think that he is a fuckboy, but this kinda fuckboy who only needs an S/O and will immediately stop with everything just to make them happy

Idc what you say ok :(

N E WAY

He will be so clingy oh my----

Always cuddles with you if that’s possible like fr

He will HUG YOU EVERYWHERE AND CUDDLE YOU EVERYWHERE

If you two get home he will tackle you immediately down onto the couch, hug you, and bury his face into your chest because he is babey

So,,,, another thing about dating him: He will text you so often

Like almost every hour, even if you two are sitting next to each other, he will just fucking text you

Also!!! He is the type who gets pretty quickly jealous and will tell you that as well

Just straight up is like “I am jealous so please give me a kiss” AND ALSO IN FRONT OF THIS PERSON WHAT

Ehhh one kiss and he is okay again lmao

He loves showing who is his so he will always somehow has his hands on you

Like holding hands, or just brushing your hair, always does something with you

He also loves just going out at 3am with you, go to a 24h-shop and get some snacks, then go stargazing

You might think that he likes dates like the amusement park n so on, but the truly loves just staying at your house, watch some movies and then do skin care with you

WILL ASK YOU ONCE TO DO YOUR MAKE UP IF YOU ARE WEARING SOME

And it will end up with making out

EHH N E WAY

He is def this type of boyfriend who will not pick up the calls at 3am because he is prolly asleep

Like he is always like “You can call me whenever you want to and I will be there” but never ever once he picked up his phone if you called him after 1am

But ok let’s be honest, this beautiful face needs his beauty sleep so I can not really blame him 🥵

I can also see him just hugging you from behind and MAKING OUT

Idc what you say but he will make out more often than kiss you

Because he knows which power his tongue piercing has

But he is so weak for you if you just pout or whine

And will do anything immediately

Like, you pout because you wanna have ice cream but it’s Sunday and all the stores are closed?

SOMEHOW HE WILL MANAGE TO GET YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM

Truly a simp

He will also always do dirty jokes but they are funny

Mostly about his d*ck 🤡

Because it’s also a joke

Sorry I am not funny :///

Ehh,,, another side note, he will always lock your fingers if you hold hands

He just thinks that it’s so nice to lock fingers <3

Will also let you do his hair once!!!

And he will love it no matter how it turns out,,, really

A SIMP I TOLD Y’ALL

Ehh,, I hope you liked those <3

«𝑬𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒆»

[artificialqueens]

You Know You Love Me, Chapter 1 (Branjie) - Kiki

A/N: Hey guys! This is my first time writing for this fandom so very sincere apologies if it sucks lol. I had the idea of doing a Branjie Gossip Girl AU a while back and just couldn’t seem to get it out of my head so I had to write it! Hope you enjoy! 

Hey Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here. And I have the biggest news ever. Spotted at Grand Central, bags in hand: Brooke Lynn Hytes. Was it only a year ago our It Girl mysteriously disappeared for “boarding school”? And just as suddenly, she’s back. Don’t believe me? See for yourselves. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

The bright yellow cab pulled into the valet parking area quite quickly after leaving Grand Central Station. As Brooke Lynn Hytes went to reach for the door, she found that it was already opened for her, the concierge staff of the luxurious Palace Hotel never letting their guests lift a finger. To her left, she saw that her suitcases had been removed from the car and after she paid the driver, the doorman was already holding the door open for her, ready for her arrival.

“Welcome Back, Miss Brooke”, said Vanya, one of the hotels employees who had been taking care of Brooke’s family for years.

“Thanks, Vanya”, Brooke replied as she quickly walked to the elevator and immediately pressed the button for the Penthouse Suite. It had been a year since she had left for boarding school and although her mother had come to visit her once or twice throughout the school year, she had missed her a lot. She missed the fast-paced life that living in New York City had to offer compared to the boring life she had led in her boarding school in Connecticut. She missed her apartment, her bed, her friends and surprisingly, her school. But right now, all she wanted was to spend some time with her mom and catch up on everything she had missed.

The elevator doors opened and Brooke was greeted with a completely different apartment to the one she had left behind. The bright red couch, the colourful art pieces on the wall and the bright painted walls were all gone. Found in their place were boring and bland grey furniture that made Brooke feel like she was back at boarding school.

“Brooke Lynn, honey, you’re home!” Mrs Hytes announced as she immediately embraced her daughter in a tight hug. Brooke Lynn responded by hugging her mom back even tighter, inhaling the scent of her Chanel No. 5 perfume as if it were the oxygen she needed in her lungs to stay alive. As they pulled away, Brooke could feel her mother eyeing her up and down, clearly judging the casual outfit of jeans and converse that she had thrown on when packing up this morning.

“I…like what you’ve done with the place, Mom, it’s very…different”, Brooke lied as she looked at one of the newer pieces of art on the wall, a picture of the Manhattan skyline, trying to distract her mom from nagging her about her outfit choice. Not everyone had the energy to wear a blazer, skirt and heels at 11am on a Sunday morning, especially not after an almost four-hour train journey.

“Well, I decided the place needed more of an adult feel to it considering it was just me living here for the past year. Although, I do think that this outfit of yours could do with a bit of an improvement, my new partner will be here soon and I wanted you to make a good first impression on him, not make him think you work at Forever 21 during your free time.” Mrs Hytes said with yet another disapproving look at Brooke’s outfit, specifically her shoes. But that wasn’t what Brooke chose to focus on.

Her mother had a habit of dating her way through all of the most powerful men in the world of New York real estate and she really shouldn’t be surprised that there was yet another boyfriend she had to be introduced to, but she was shocked that her mother didn’t want to even spend time with her after being separated from each other for so long.

“Really, mom? I was thinking we could go out, get brunch in the restaurant downstairs and then maybe go shopping or catch a movie.”

“Come on, Brooke, this is important to me. We can do that stuff anytime we want to, but Brian is a very busy man and we’ve been together for six months now, it’s about time you two met, so please do us all a favour and go get dressed!” Mrs Hytes sighed as she smoothed the non-existent wrinkles from her skirt out, sounding as uninterested as she possibly could in the conversation they were having.

“Actually, mom, I’m not feeling too well so I’m just going to go and rest. But I’m sure I can meet husband number 5 another time.” Brooke said quietly as she ran up the long stairs to her bedroom, which she prayed had not been touched in her mother’s awful home renovation.

—

1 year ago

Brooke Lynn walked out of the elevator and took her heels off immediately, sighing in relief as her bare feet touched the cool tiles of the floor beneath her. She slowly walked up the stairs to her bedroom, trying not to stumble or wake her mother up with her loud noise.

She had just been at a club opening with all of her class from school – a big final night out before school started up again for the fall semester. The night ended up with all of them having way too many cocktails and dancing on the dancefloor until 3am, when her curfew was supposed to be at midnight. As she tiptoed down the long hallway to her bedroom, she regretted not taking up Vanessa’s offer of sleeping over at her house but she had a feeling that her mom would be super pissed if she didn’t come home that night – her grades from last year had been really bad and she had missed curfew multiple times over summer vacation.

As she tried to open the door to her room slowly and quietly, she found her mom sitting on her bedroom floor with a bottle of tequila in her hand.

“Mom, what are you—”

“Jesus Christ, Brooke, where have you been? You were supposed to be home four hours ago,” her mom screamed as she got up onto her feet, still clutching the bottle of tequila. “And what the hell is this? Are you an alcoholic now too? As well as almost getting expelled for your awful grades and coming home whenever you feel like it, you’ve decided that drinking all of your problems away will help you? Come on, Brooke, seriously.”

“Well, I learnt from the best.” Brooke replied as she shoved past her mom and went to her closet to find some pyjamas. Her head was spinning and she was exhausted, all she wanted to do was go to bed and sleep it off.

“You’re not getting away with this, Brooke. You have to learn that there are consequences to your actions.” Mrs Hytes announced as she stormed out of the room, her heels still clacking against the wooden floors even though it was the middle of the night. Brooke rolled her eyes as she changed into pyjama shorts and a hoodie and climbed into her soft bed. Yeah, she really regretted not going to stay with Vanessa.

She woke up the next morning to the sound of her mother’s voice ordering people around – quite a regular sound to wake up to in the Hytes household. Except this time, it sounded like the noise was coming from right inside her room. She slowly opened her eyes as she realised how hungover she must be. When her eyes fluttered open, she saw that her closet was empty and that there were five large suitcases standing at her bedroom door. There were also two housekeepers packing the contents of her vanity and her nightstand into a sixth suitcase.

“Mom, what are they doing? Why are you taking all my stuff?” Brooke asked. Suddenly, the memories of the previous night came flooding back to her: her mom finding her hidden alcohol and not reacting well to it.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, Brooke Lynn, and you’ve left me with no choice. Manhattan isn’t a good place for you to be in right now.” Her mother replied without even looking at her, instead she handed over a hanger with a black pencil skirt, white blouse and a blazer that had “Knightley Boarding School” written in a small font across the front. Her eyes widened in horror as she immediately jumped out of bed to try and plead with her mom.

“Please mom, no, you can’t send me to boarding school. I love my life here, you can’t make me leave my friends, please mom, I’m begging you!” she yelled as she felt the tears start to well up in her eyes. She couldn’t imagine her life without Vanessa by her side, they’ve been best friends for what feels like their entire lives and the thought of having to go to school without her made Brooke’s heart feel like it was being snapped into two pieces.

She started to panic and began looking around the room for her phone, checking her nightstand and the clutch bag she had been using the previous night, but couldn’t find it anywhere.

“Are you looking for this?” Mrs Hytes questioned as she held up Brooke’s silver flip phone in the air. “I’ll have it sent to Connecticut when I can see that your grades are going up and your behaviour is improving.” Brooke couldn’t hold her tears in anymore and while she would normally feel embarrassed about crying in front of the people who work for her family, this time she couldn’t care less.

“Please mom, I need to call Vanessa, I need to tell her where I’m going to be, she’ll be so worried if I just disappear!” Brooke tried to coke out in between her sobbing as she felt large tears rolling down her face.

“I’ll tell Vanessa where you are and she can write to you until you get your phone back. Stop being so dramatic, Brooke Lynn, I’m sure there will be a phone there that you can use to call her if it’s as important as you’re making it out to be. Now get dressed, please. The car will be here at nine.” Her mother exited the room with the housekeepers following closely behind her.

Brooke sat down on her bed again and tried to calm herself down. She managed to get her breathing back to normal but couldn’t stop the tears from slowly rolling down her face. She grabbed a framed picture from her vanity – it was a picture of her and Vanessa that was taken while they were visiting one of the Mateo’s vacation homes in Italy. That was one of the happiest days of Brooke’s life. She had gotten to spend the entire day with just Vanessa. They spent the day by the pool, swimming and sun bathing until Vanessa’s parents returned home that evening. She always felt her happiest when she was with Vanessa and that was evident from how big her smile was in that photo. She quickly unzipped one of the suitcases and slid the photo inside, returning back to her vanity to get herself ready for what she was sure was going to be one of the most upsetting days of her life.

—

Now

The white walls, high ceilings and expensive furniture of the Mateo family’s Fifth Avenue penthouse apartment usually made Vanessa feel completely relaxed and at ease. But not today. Today, it seemed like everyone in that apartment was doing their absolute best to piss her off.

Planning and organising had always been a skill of Vanessa’s. Give her the task of planning any kind of event and she would rise to the occasion flawlessly every single time, provided the people around her cooperated with her every wish. If they didn’t, they would have to deal with the wrath of Vanessa Mateo raining down upon them. She was trying her very best to plan the Kiss On The Lips party, a party that was held at the beginning of each school year to welcome all of the students back and was always guaranteed to be a glamorous night, which is why Vanessa was going through every single detail to make sure that they are all up to her standards.

With her pink clipboard in hand, she stomped around the apartment making sure that each planning station she had set up was running smoothly. She had a decorations table where the decorators were preparing samples of the table pieces, she had the caterers serving samples of the food they were planning to cook on the night and, her favourite station, the design station. She had her dress custom made months ago, approved by her fashion designer mother, of course. Her two closest friends, Akeria and Silky, were trying on their dresses.

“Are you kidding me right now?” Vanessa screamed in horror as she looked at the decorating teams attempt at incorporating roses into the table pieces. “It’s peonies or nothing on those tables, I thought I made that very clear in the brief I emailed you WEEKS AGO!” Akeria rolled her eyes as she heard the shrill of Vanessa’s uptight voice, wishing for the moment the party was over so she could go back to having fun with Vanessa instead of having to deal with her stressful outbursts.

“What do you think of my dress, V?” Silky asked, twirling in front of the mirror with a massive smile on her face. “It’s hot, right?” Vanessa’s eyes shot up from her clipboard. She took a large deep breath in and out to try and calm herself down as soon as she laid her eyes upon Silky’s dress.

“I thought I made it very clear that I was wearing a strapless dress, Silky.”

“So what? They’re both completely different!” Silky argued back.

“Does anyone listen to me around here? I swear to God, I told all of you people exactly what I wanted from you weeks ago and here we are, just a few days away from the hottest party of the year and everything is awful! Dorota!” Vanessa yelled at her number one trusted housekeeper who immediately was at her side, as usual, ready to try her best to solve all of Vanessa’s problems.

“Dorota, did you or did you not send everybody in this room my list of demands for this stupid party?”

“Of course I did, Miss Vanessa, I sent to each and every person as soon as you were done typing on your phone.” Dorota said proudly, her thick Polish accent coming through as she spoke.

Suddenly, a beeping noise rang out of all three of the teenage girls’ phones, which can mean only one thing: the latest Gossip Girl blast of the day had just been posted. Vanessa immediately rolled her eyes and shoved her phone away from Dorota’s outstretched hand, wanting to focus on the party planning and not whatever gossip was being shared at that moment. She would save the gossip for later, when she was having her nightly bubble bath.

“Oh my God!” Silky said in shock as she held her phone out to Akeria so she could see what was on her screen.

“Why didn’t V tell us that Brooke was coming back?” Akeria whispered as quietly as she possibly could, not wanting to aggravate her friend even more. Silky shrugged and shook her head.

“V, when were you gonna tell us Brooke Lynn was back? This is huge news!” Akeria said excitedly, happy that the fourth and final member of their tightknit group was finally back in New York.

“What? Show me that!” Vanessa grabbed her phone from Dorota and opened the website as quickly as she possibly could and sure enough, there it was: a picture of her former best friend Brooke Lynn Hytes standing in Grand Central Station, her perfect blonde hair blowing in the wind as she made her way through the train station.

Akeria eyed her friend up and down sceptically.

“You didn’t know she was coming back?”

“Of course I did, I just…forgot.” Vanessa’s hands were slightly trembling and she could feel her hands starting to beat faster. She hadn’t seen Brooke in a whole year and she wasn’t sure she wanted to see her again so soon considering Brooke hadn’t even bothered to let Vanessa know that she was moving away, let alone say goodbye.

She stood in the middle of the hallway with her phone clutched tightly in her hand as she glared down at the picture of the girl she loved, completely in her own world and unaware of the things going on around her.

—

2 years ago

Brooke and Vanessa sat on Brooke’s four poster canopy bed, the latest issues of Vogue littering the mattress as well as the chocolate covered strawberries and glasses of champagne that the two girls were slowly making their way through. They were both wearing pyjamas with black silk robes over them as they tried to enjoy their last moments of freedom that summer break had to offer before they had to start their sophomore year of high school.

Vanessa watched Brooke as she animatedly described all of the things they were going to do that year. All the parties they’d host, the new restaurants they’d try out, the places they’d travel to during their winter and spring break. Vanessa, usually being the louder one in their friendship, was happy to sit back and listen to her best friend when she was this excited about something, especially if she was involved in the plans that Brooke was making.

“This year is gonna be different, Ness. This is gonna be our year. We’re gonna rule that school together.” Brooke said while she grabbed a strawberry from the box and slowly started to bite the chocolate off of it.

“Don’t we always?” replied Vanessa, a single eyebrow raised as if to challenge Brooke’s statement.

“Come on, V, you know what I mean. We’re closer than we’ve ever been…this year is all about you and me. Nobody else.” Brooke said, getting quieter towards the end of her sentence.

“Nobody else?”

“Just you and me, Nessa.”

—

Now

“Hey, earth to Vanessa!” Silky shouted, her hand waving in front of Vanessa’s face. Vanessa’s eyes were still glued to her phone, to the picture of Brooke Lynn that she quickly removed from her screen and snapped her head up guiltily.

“You have to get that little freshman girl Plastique to make an invitation for Brooke! She’s gonna love this party now that she’s back, especially because she didn’t have to help plan any of it.” Akeria said with a laugh.

“She’s not invited.” Vanessa said simply.

“What do you mean she’s not invited? Why not?” Akeria asked, her perfectly arched brow raised as high as it could possibly go.

“The party’s planned and adding another person to the guestlist would throw everything off. You’ve seen how incompetent everybody here is today…I’m not risking the success of the entire party just for Brooke Lynn.” Vanessa looked up to find Silky, Akeria and also Dorota were staring at her, clearly extremely confused, but at that point in time she just simply didn’t have the energy to care.

“What are you guys doing? Get back to work! You need to find a new dress that isn’t copying my entire style, Silky, remember? Maybe focus your energy into that instead.” With that, Vanessa stormed up the stairs into her bedroom, slamming the door on her way in. she was not in the mood to be messed with right now.

[meadows-of-light]

Nina Nesbitt song lyrics writing prompts part 2:

1) You could turn this bar into a good time

2) Feel like I'm not needing anything

3) When you hold my body like my blood does

4) After I've had a couple drinks

5) You could turn this dive into a five-star

6) We can use your backseat as a bed

7) Race around the city like a gangster

8) At least until we're breaking down again

9) You see the best of me, oh

10) And you're making me believe, oh

11) That I'm somebody special

12) That I'm somebody, ya I'm somebody

13) That I don't have to settle

14) Not for nobody, not for nobody

15) I've been loosing myself but lately

16) You got me thinking maybe, I got potential

17) To be somebody, to be somebody

18) To be somebody special

19) I could just be dancing in the kitchen

20) Wearing your t-shirt like a dress

21) Treasure me like I cost a million

22) As you whisper under your breath

23) You would do anything, oh

24) Just to make me believe, me believe

25) I've been lonely way too long

26) I've been loving all the wrong kind

27) I've been falling in your arms

28) Feeling like I'm good here for life

29) You're just the statue of the boy I used to know

30) You're just a tattoo of the words that we once spoke

31) You're the dry river, where the love used to flow

32) But it still runs through me, with you it had to go

33) But if you take this back

34) I'll be waiting to come alive, come alive

35) If you turn your back

36) I'll be waiting to fly

37) But you're like the falling leaves

38) Whilst I'm still the oak tree

39) Cause you're the one to leave

40) Now I'm falling asleep

41) You're like the broken keys

42) Whilst I'm just a broken home

43) Cause as I breathe in deep

44) You're looking at me like a statue

45) Of the boy I used to know

46) You're just a lighter, with no fuel to light the flames

47) You know I'll fight for this, but you wouldn't do the same

48) Cause you're just a diary, with a blank and empty page

49) But the story we wrote, I can't quite erase

50) I'll watch you fall to the ground

51) 'Cause there's just stone in your eyes now

52) We had it all, till we were found

53) We're just living these lies now

54) And I breathe in deep

55) As I watch you leave

56) You're the statue

57) Of the boy I used to know.

58) I've been flying through the clouds alone

59) Looking for somebody to hold

60) And you're here, you're here

61) And I keep on falling

62) And we're higher than the birds that fly

63) And we're closer than the lowest sky

64) 'Cause you're here, you're here

65) And I keep on falling

66) For the way you feel like Autumn

67) When you wrap your body round the

68) Girl in me that's sometimes haunted

69) But we don't let the world

70) I wanna take you to heaven

71) I'm gonna make sure you never think you're here alone

72) If you meant forever

73) Then look at me now

74) Just one place left to go

75) I wanna show you heaven

76) So take a deep breath and I'll take you all the way

77) If you meant forever

78) Then look at me now

79) Look at me and say

80) I'll take you to heaven

81) Look at me now

82) Look at me and say

83) Everything that you've been wanting to say

84) Every part of me is for you to take

85) I'm here, I'm here

86) And I'm not going

87) 'Til you say that you're ready to go

88) 'Cause I don't ever want to be alone

89) Stay near, stay near

90) Let's keep on going.

91) Once, once upon a time

92) Thought that you'd be mine

93) But then you let your colors shine

94) I wanted to believe

95) That you were right for me

96) Well how could I be so naive

97) Now we're broken

98) Forget me not

99) I'm falling down and I can't stop

100) Let's go down to the apple tree

101) Naive as Adam and Eve

102) Let's go down to the apple tree

103) Fighting against gravity

104) Falling too deep

105) So can you catch me?

106) Twice, twice I caught you out

107) My head was in the clouds

108) But I woke up and came around

109) To see, you play stupid games

110) Temptation in your way

111) Cause I went so fast from love to hate

112) You keep playing, you keep playing

113) I keep praying, I keep praying

114) That we could have been us

115) You keep playing, you keep playing

116) I keep saying, I keep saying

117) That it should have been us.

118) Does she ever feel like me?

119) Run her fingers down your back

120) Do you ever talk about us?

121) Or is it just the bad times we had?

122) 'Cause baby it's been three weeks and I'm going out my mind

123) How does she taste, is it sweeter than mine was?

124) I've been using bodies just to get me through the night

125) Is it the same, huh?

126) 'Cause it's crazy that you're moving on so fast

127) But baby it's okay if I am still the best you had

128) And it hurts that you would just leave like that

129) But baby it's okay if I am still the best you had

130) If I am still the best you had

131) Nobody did it like us, nobody did like you did

132) Darling I know that we're fucked

133) But you know my ego is stupid

134) Tell everyone I hate her cause I am scared of how you feel

135) It's complicated

136) I don't want you, no nothing more

137) I don't need you, it's crazy that you're moving on so fast

138) When I am still the best you had.

139) Pretend you're happy, pretend we're fine

140) I guess that's easier after all this time

141) Talk about someone else then look in my eyes

142) I know you still hold on to us inside

143) But we watched that butterfly fly

144) I'd give anything just to be with you again but it's not the right time

145) And I'd give anything just to feel you on my skin

146) But it's not the right time and it'll never be the right time, will it?

147) It might never be the right time and that's the hardest part of it

148) I keep you in my mind even though you've gone

149) Holding on to nothing's easier than letting go

150) Stuck in the memory of what has been

151) Just please don't love another like you loved me

152) Time doesn't heal, it just leaves me asking why

153) And I don't know why I feel this way

154) If I could, I'd change, believe me

155) And I know that you feel the same, is it too late for saving?

156) Oh, here I go again

157) It'll never be the right time, will it?

158) Walking down Parsons green, I can feel the cold

159) The leaves in the park are turning brown, I'm twenty two years old

160) Crazy that I was stood right here just five years ago

161) With the heat on my skin and a lover who is now someone I don't know

162) You don't see it, when it's happening, happens overtime

163) First you're loving, then you're crying

164) Then you can't decide

165) My life's uncertain and sometimes strange

166) But one thing I've learned is it won't stay the same

167) Even in the darkness I'll be okay

168) The sun will come up, the seasons will change

169) Winter comes racing 'round, something 'bout the air

170) The fire's on and the chimney smoke is tangled in my hair

171) Crazy how much my life has changed in just in a year

172) There's people I've met, people I've left, and some that didn't make it here.

173) Sunday night, I'm lying on your body

174) With my legs wrapped round you

175) Like the safest kind of sorry I could give

176) Cause I know I've let you down before

177) Dimmed light coming in from the hallway

178) You're in your black jeans

179) I'm in white lingerie

180) And it's 3am, I'm lying awake thinking

181) That when I'm sad my eyes run like streams

182) But yours stay dry as you clench your teeth

183) And that's how I know that you're the one for me

184) Cause I think about you on the train

185) Love how you say my second name

186) It seems without you I'm insane

187) Now you're asleep but I'm gonna say it anyway

188) I love you

189) Moonlight on a sun kissed body

190) Put your ink on my skin till it comes off on me

191) The TV's on again, they're dead

192) There's zombies in the bed

193) When I'm sad my words run like streams

194) Flooding your ears till we dive too deep

195) But that's how I know that you're the one for me

196) Cause I think about you on the train

197) Love how you hate what's in your brain

198) Watching you sleep like I'm insane

199) Telling you things that I find hard to say

200) Like I love you

201) Remember when we'd sit out by the graves

202) Laughing and talking about life

203) You took me to heaven when I had no faith

204) And showed me what love is really like.

[sunkissedpages]

We’re Only Kidding Ourselves- Part Twelve || Tom Holland x Reader

A/N: sjadslikjdl it’s between teaser and full chapter length but I wanted to get it out before like 3am :/ 

Prompt: Enemies to lovers au (from @marvelellie‘s 1k writing challenge!!)

Summary: You work as a production assistant for the Spider-Man: Far From Home crew, or rather as Tom Holland’s handler. The two of you don’t get along very well to say the least, but you won’t quit and he can’t fire you so you’re stuck with each other.

Warnings: swearing, angst 

What I listened to while writing: Pray For The Wicked by Panic! At The Disco

Word Count: 1.5k

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven

Tom’s lips were softer than you expected.Warmer too. For a fraction of a second you let yourself get lost in the kiss, closing your eyes and tilting your head ever so slightly. You even brought your hand up to his head and nearly let your fingers graze his curls before you remembered how pissed off you were at him.

You pulled back and pushed him away with a little more force than you intended, causing him to stumble backwards. “What the fuck was that, Tom?” you demanded, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.

“I-I’m sorry,” he stuttered, already turning red. “I didn’t mean-“

“You what? Thought you could just shut me up by kissing me?”

“It sort of worked.”

It took everything in you not to backhand your boss into next year. “I’m putting my resignation in tomorrow morning,” you stated flatly and started walking ahead of him, despite not knowing what direction you were supposed to be headed.

“Wait, y/n,” he called after you. “I really am sorry!” When you didn’t turn back he jogged to catch up with you. You kept your pace and refused to look at him. “Please don’t quit, I’m begging you.”

You stopped again. “Why shouldn’t I? You obviously don’t respect me. And relax, Watts isn’t going to be that pissed at you.”

“It’s not just that!” he protested. You raised your eyebrows, waiting. “No one can do this job better than you.”

“You’re the one who said you didn’t need me.” 

“We both know that’s not true, though,” he admitted. “Please don’t leave.” You were surprised by how genuinely upset he looked. “Please.”

“...I’ll think about it,” you replied softly.

Tom relaxed visibly and started walking again. You trailed behind him now, lost in thought. Everything still felt fuzzy. You could still feel Tom’s lips on yours and you wondered if he could taste your rose flavored lip balm when he kissed you, if he knew you’d noticed his fingers brushing your hip, if he had sighed into it on accident, if he really wished he could take it back.

You watched him walk with his hands in his pockets and wished, for the first time ever, that you could go back to hating each other like you had a few weeks ago. Everything was easier when you couldn’t stand the sight of him. Now it was so much more complicated.

Tom really had to fuck everything up for you, didn’t he? You weren’t just thinking about quitting because he was an asshole, you were also worried that someone had seen him kiss you. If anyone found out, Marvel would make sure you never worked in the film industry ever again and you didn’t think you could handle that. You figured that at least if you quit before they fired you, maybe they wouldn’t get the chance to blacklist you.

Walking in to a mess of a hotel room only added to how overwhelmed you already were. Tom’s clothes and your dress from the night before were still on the floor in heaps. Clutter was everywhere. You stood helplessly in the middle of it all and felt tears well up in your eyes. They inevitably spilled over and began to run down your cheeks and you didn’t do anything to stop them. You’d reached a breaking point.

Tom turned his head at your sniffling, but didn’t move to comfort you. At least, not in a traditional manner. As if he could read your mind he began straightening the room up wordlessly, putting pillows back on the bed and clothes into suitcases. You joined him, stuffing things you weren’t even sure were yours into your suitcase until the floor was spotless. Once the room was clean you both sat on the floor, breathing hard, but not speaking.

Tom showered first, then you. You got ready for bed robotically, going through the motions without thinking about what you were doing. It wasn’t that late, but neither of you felt like being awake anymore. Without any discussion Tom took the armchair again while you climbed into bed alone.

The two of you hadn’t lain awake in silence for One Whole Night, but it was just as uncomfortable as it had been before, if not more. You could hear Tom’s steady breathing from beside you and wondered if he was still thinking about the kiss like you were. 

Part of you wanted to tell him to stop being ridiculous and just get into bed with you, but the other part of you understood why he hadn’t already. Ironically, he was even closer to you in the chair than he would have been on the bed since they were right next to each other. You could reach out and touch him if you wanted to.

At some point Tom drifted off, but you never did. You stared at the ceiling wondering what you should do. Stay? Go? Even if that kiss had meant nothing it could ruin everything just like that. Your dreams would be snatched out of reach in the blink of an eye.

You rolled over to look at Tom who was sleeping peacefully in the chair. You wondered if he was dreaming. You were jealous he was able to sleep at all.

Morning came, but you barely noticed because you were still lying on your back consumed with doubt. Your body was exhausted, but your mind hadn't let you rest for even a moment. The sunrise had slowly filled the room with light and you were sure it had been beautiful, but you hadn’t paid attention.

When Tom’s alarm went off you rolled over and shut your eyes and hoped he’d buy that you were sleeping. You weren’t ready to talk to him yet. He got up from the chair and started moving around the room quietly. You listened as he changed and brushed his teeth, getting ready to go to the gym, going about his routine as if nothing had happened. You heard the movements stop for a few seconds and thought he might be checking to make sure you hadn’t woken up, but you couldn’t tell. 

When he left, you rolled back over onto your back with a sigh. It was going to be a long day.

You were out of the room before Tom came back and made your way down to the lobby instead. You figured if you were going to avoid him you could at least take advantage of the continental breakfast. They had a waffle maker, but it didn’t work very well. It burned the edges while leaving the center gooey and under cooked. You still ate them anyway.

Nothing on twitter indicated that someone had seen you and Tom last night so you were in the clear- for now. You couldn’t even imagine what would happen if a picture of a girl in a yellow sweatshirt kissing Tom surfaced on the internet. Not only would you be fired, blacklisted, and probably sued, you would probably have to change your name and never show your face in public again.Your life would be over. Just the thought made you lose your appetite.

People had started gathering around the check-in desk, getting ready to go to set so you hurried and finished your breakfast so you wouldn’t look pathetic eating alone. You already sort of had that reputation anyway, there was no need to add to it. 

Tom was early this morning and everyone tried not to act surprised as he made the rounds and said his good-mornings before ending up next to you. You handed him a copy of the day’s schedule and he traded you a cup of coffee in return.

You sipped it and were surprised when it tasted perfect. “How did you-”

“I asked Haz,” he replied before you even finished the question. “So you’re staying?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“You didn’t sleep last night.”

You made a face. “Yes I did, what are you talking about?”

“You were faking this morning.”

“What are you talking about?”

“God it’s a good thing that I’m the one lying about sleeping around because you’re shit at it. And come on, you weren’t even snoring.”

You looked at him in horror. “I snore?”

Tom smirked. “Gotcha.”

“Oh fuck you!”

“I knew it!” he exclaimed, pointing a finger. 

“Just because I was faking this morning doesn’t mean I didn’t sleep at all.”

“But you didn’t, did you?” he asked, smile falling away to reveal a look of concern.

You brushed him off. “Doesn’t matter.”

He looked a little hurt. “It does matter. But if you don’t want to talk about it-”

“Tom, I could get fired,” you interrupted, finally saying what was really on your mind. He blinked in confusion, caught off guard. “You’re the one who said if anyone found out we were even sharing a room I’d be fired and blacklisted, and that’s without any proof of anything happening! What do you think would happen to me if anyone saw what happened last night?”

“What happened last night?” a familiar voice asked from behind you and you and Tom both whipped around to see Harrison standing there, eyebrow raised and jaw clenched. You were fucked.

It’s been...a week to say the least, sorry again that it’s so short. Imma try and make it up to y’all before next week :) Tom is still an asshole, what’s new lol. Anyway lmk what you think, I always appreciate feedback!!

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[iamwhelmed]

My Partner

Summary: A mission gone wrong leaves Damian pumped with an experimental drug that's half fear toxin and half truth serum... or something like that. Bruce resorts to seeking Jon's help in returning his son to his normal self.

Read it on AO3

Read it on Fanfiction.net

He wasn't sure what happened; he'd blocked out the noise the moment the freaking Batman showed up at the little Kent Family home looking… not like Batman. He'd heard what he needed to hear.

There was an accident. Patrol went wrong. Damian was captured, hurt. He was despondent, awake but not alive and not limp but little more than a doll. Something about mind-control. Something about modified fear gas or something, but Jon had blocked all of that out. Batman was there because nothing had worked.

They'd noticed something was wrong when Damian woke up, 3am, wiping his eyes even though the glassy glaze stuck. Alfred and Dick had been right there, asking him how he felt, if he remembered anything. Damian would have raged around for hours after his failure, lamented to Titus and the cat about how the Son of Batman shouldn't have been knocked unconscious, shouldn't have been stripped of his utility belt or shot up with fear gas; the Damian that woke up that morning only recited what he remembered calmly. It was odd, but Dick decided to give him space, and Alfred offered him something small to soothe his stomach. Toast and beans. Damian-- the spoiled brat who thought the world was supposed to bend to his will, the jerk who tried to fight Superman's super son with his bare hands-- he'd looked Alfred dead in the eye and said "Please don't waste the food. I am unfit to receive anything more from Father."

Bruce couldn't get through to him, said talking to Damian in this state was like banging on aquarium glass and praying the fish could hear him talking. Damian, the Damian they all knew (and cared about and worried about and loved), he was lost somewhere in a sea so thick he couldn't see the hands reaching out to him. Bruce had come to the Kent residence looking for help, and Batman didn't really do that. So Jon knew why he was there, that he was desperate enough to fall to a last resort; Jon was flying at top speed to the Wayne Residence before Bruce could say what they both knew-- Damian needed him.

He wasn't sure how everybody in the family managed to squeeze into the hallway outside Damian's bedroom door. It made the walls look thinner and the air seem thicker, or maybe that was just him. Dick and Tim nodded at him, but that was all the greeting he got. They looked pensive, Tim more-so than Dick as Stephanie wrapped an arm around Barbara's shoulders and tugged her away from the door. Blue eyes looked at him, concern etched across their faces, and he had to wonder if he could do what none of them could-- but he shook his head and braced himself because he had to. There was no room for failure. He winced, because the voice in his head sounded a lot like Damian.

He pressed the door open, and Alfred swept the air with his slow-aging hands to shoo the crowd away from the door.

Damian was sitting at the side of his bed, legs dangling listlessly over the edge. His hands sat folded in his lap, poised and perfect, the way a kid like him would pose for a painting, the kind that hung over a mantle. Jon shuffled uncomfortably, feeling like he was more in line to take a school picture. It was just as Bruce had described. Damian's eyes were glazed over and empty, as if he was merely staring off into space, thinking about something unpleasant. It wasn't the usual grimace Jon oft remembered when red and black would stray across his mind's eye. He watched Damian's lips to see if they moved, but they stayed thin, and shut, and still. He glanced at the made bed, to the covers creased only where Alfred had probably sat his youngest master after changing the sheets-- Damian had tossed and turned in his sleep, left sweat matting into the covers.

Jon cleared his throat. "Hey, uh, Damian." Damian didn't respond, so Jon continued. "Uh, your family is really worried about you, ya know."

"I doubt it."

His heart jumped and pounded like one heavy fist against his ribcage, but settled into his stomach after. "Doubt that they're worried?"

"There's no reason to be." His voice trailed off, and Jon felt the absence of his attitude nipping at him as the words faded in the air, stretched so thin that he rubbed absently at his arm. Damian stared straight ahead still, so motionless Jon could hardly hear him breathing, even with his kryptonian ears. "I am… not worth fretting over."

Fear gas was supposed to bring out your worst fears, supposed to take the things you had nightmares about, the ones that made little kids climb into bed with their parents and you wake up screaming in a sweat so cold the AC felt like ice coating in layers on your skin. It didn't do this, not from what Damian had told him. It didn't make you voice every internalized flaw, and it shouldn't have taken the confident, eager Robin that was his partner and make him a martrying shell. No, not his Robin. Jon pressed one hand to the bed, beside Damian, then paused. Damian didn't say anything, didn't move, didn't look at him, so he took a seat and let their legs brush. "What do you mean?"

Damian blinked, but Jon didn't catch anything else. "I have proved myself incompetent both as an heir to the Al Ghul legacy and as an heir to the Batman. My father has a great many wards to which he may pass his legacy, and my mother is more than capable of producing a child that will not disappoint her. I am excess. I am frivolous, and I should be handled accordingly."

"Handled accordingly? You mean, like…?" Jon mimed a line across his throat with a finger. That would have usually earned a scoff from Damian, but the response was little more than:

"Yes. I am already a nuisance to be dealt with. I would not wish to fail my father or grandfather any more than I already have."

Jon grimaced and looked down at his hands, mirroring Damian's clean fold with a messy, finger-twisting image. He grinded his teeth. "Is that all there is, then? Being an heir to your parents?"

Damian was silent, but Jon could hear a faint skip in his chest-- at least, he was pretty sure that was Damian's chest. It might have been his own. Cold and empty green eyes fluttered, but there wasn't life there yet, not the bursting, narcissistic, fire-filled life he'd known, anyway. "I exist solely to be a weapon, and I have failed. For that, the punishment is death."

"You're not just a weapon, though! You're--" He whipped around to Damian, didn't care that he wasn't looking at him. "You're a brother! To Dick! And to Tim and Jason and-- and me!" He winced. No, no that wasn't quite right. Damian, God, Damian was dear to him, but not the way Kon was, not the way Damian was dear to every single previous Robin. He slid off the bed, kneeled in front of Damian on the floor and prayed that he'd hear that stupid mocking noise, hoped Damian would find the humor in Jon dropping to his knees like he was proposing. He didn't hear so much as a huff.

"You're more than that. You're more than a weapon, Damian! That's not what you are to your family. It's not-- it's not what you are to me!" Fool's errand. This was probably a fool's errand, but then again this might have been a fool's wish, and Damian could call him a fool all he wanted later, just please, please, something had to work. He took Damian's hands in his own, squeezed them, pulled them to his chest where he kneeled and looked Damian in his glazed eyes. "You're forgetting about me, Damian! You're forgetting that you're my partner! It's not just Damian the Assassin or Batman and Robin anymore! Even if you got rid of all of that, we'd still be Robin and Superboy, wouldn't we?" Damian's eyes fluttered again, eyebrows bunching together above his nose. Jon continued on. "You might wanna die because of failing everyone else, but you've never failed at being my best friend, Damian."

There was silence, dead, heavy, like a body dropped over his, like weight he couldn't hold in his chest. Damian said nothing, didn't move. Jon looked into green eyes that were once like emeralds and saw only the smaug of a destroyed forest, and felt his own well with tears. He dropped his head to Damian's knees and cried, silently, between his grinding teeth. He hadn't been enough. Damian, the one he knew like the back of his hand, was lost somewhere in that haze and dammit please let this be a drug that Batman hadn't detected, let it be temporary, let it be a bad guy possessing his best friend, anything at all. Please. Just give Damian back.

"J...Jon?" He sniffed and nodded into Damian's now-soaking lap. "I'd appreciate it if you would cease slobbering all over my pants. These are designer, I'll have you know."

Jon shot up, close enough that the back of his head nearly made contact with Damian's chin, close enough that their noses brushes together when Damian skillfully avoided that collision. His nose wrinkled in disgust at the sight of his very wet-nosed kryptonian. "What?"

Jon ignored the demanding tone, instead launching into Damian with such force that they both fell back onto his bed. His arms snaked around Damian's neck and securely latched onto each other while Jon took to burying his nose into the crook of Damian's neck. "Wh-wha--! Hey! Get off!"

"Not a chance!"

"I mean it!"

"Good luck breaking out of my arms with that kryptonite you totally don't have on you right now!"

"Which is-- where is my belt? What happened?"

Jon sat up enough that he could see Damian's eyes, once again full of that green loud energy that he'd started to miss so badly that it physically hurt him. He let his nose brush against Damian's again, ignored the heated red clouding like a rash at his cheeks, but reveled in the red of Damian's. "Your dad'll explain." He smirked and nuzzled into Damian's cheek, taking in the smell of expensive detergent and the warmth that seemed to envelop him the longer he laid in Damian's arms. "But not before I'm done squeezing the angst out of you."

"--tt-- Good luck."

Even as he said that, Damian's arms found their own way around Jon's frame and squeezed, like he found comfort in this, like he wanted this embrace just as much… not that either of them were going to admit to that for a long time.

[im-a-little-anxious]

Insomnia

Insomnia 

Warnings: angst, insomnia, swearing, somewhat panic attack. 

Genre: Fluff. 

Ship: Analogical, romantic. 

Summary:  

Virgil can’t get to sleep. He yells at himself in the middle of the night, alerting Logan who helps get Virgil to rest.

I can’t sleep. 

The first thought that came to my clearly sleep deprived brain as if it wasn’t obvious enough. 

I had been lying on my bed for what felt like a few hundred years, staring blankly at the ceilings as thoughts raced through my mind, my heart seeming to pound louder and louder and the fan I had blowing seeming to get louder on each beat, and just about every tiny noise I’d make, like a breath in, would also be incomprehensibly loud.

Am I affecting Thomas? 

I sat up. 

I am his anxiety after all… this… this can’t be… good for Thomas, can it?

I felt yet another crashing tsunami-like wave of anxiety crash over my train of thought.

No… I thought I was becoming a light side… right? I can’t hurt… I can’t hurt the Host, right?

Thoughts raced around my head, faster and faster. 

More and more… more and more… 

“Stop!” 

I flinched, gritting my teeth as I realized I just yelled at 3am, “Stop!” while everyone was hopefully asleep.

Shiiit…

I could hear footsteps coming down the hall.

Oh no oh no oh no no no… 

Hide! I’ll just hide, pretend I’m asleep.

Last minute plan decided, I pulled my heavy black downy comforter, recommended by Logan as he said the weight might soothe my insomnia (although it did not seem to be working, I still used it), over my head, trying to pretend I’m asleep. I closed my eyes tight, praying that-

I heard my door creak open.

“Virgil?”

Logan.

I felt all my muscles tense, holding my breath. I opened one eye, peeking through my blankets.

Logan stood, about a foot away from me, rubbing his eyes. He was wearing his unicorn onesie, which I barely stifled a laugh at. It looked like I had woken him up. Please don’t check if I’m awake, please don’t check if I’m awake, pleas-

“I know you’re awake, Virgil. I heard you from my room, exactly 26.3 feet away.” How does he even do that math…

I stayed fake sleeping, hoping for the slim possibility that he would give up, thinking that I was still asleep.

“Do you need me to point out the reasons why you are most definitely faking being asleep, Virgil?"

I didn’t move.

“Alright. First of all-”

“Fine!” I snapped, pulling my blankets off and sitting up.

We stared at each other blankly for a few seconds.

“I’m surprised you were the one who came. I thought it would be, like, Patton. Not you.” 

“Well, I was still awake, and the other sides were asleep at the time you yelled, ‘Stop!’ at precisely,” Logan looked at the nightstand clock I had, “3:31am.”

“So what are you gonna do? Give me a lesson on how it’s bad to consistently stay up late every night for a week? Which I obviously already know.” 

I scowled at him, crossing my arms and fidgeting with my thumbs.

At my snarky response, Logan answered simply, “Fine. If you don’t want me to help, I’ll leave if you so please.” 

Logan began to turn around and leave.

“W-wait. No… No… uh, you-you can stay.”

Great job Virgil, you stuttered a total of five times. Brilliant speech.

“Really? Honestly, I’m surprised,” Logan said, turning around and sitting down next to me on my bed.

“Well, first of all, have you been taking that melatonin I recommended? It usually helps with this kind of thing.”

“Uh..” I mumbled.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Logan replied, standing up. He whipped out a flashlight, seemingly out of nowhere. Where does he even keep this? Is he... the cat in the hat or something?

The flashlight blinked on, the bright light surprising me. I blinked a few times, jumping back.

Logan glanced back at me, pointing the flashlight vaguely in my direction.

“You look like you haven’t seen the sun in 3 days and/or haven’t slept in a week.”

“In which both are true,” I said quietly, looking down at my feet with a grimace.

“You what?! Maybe I really should get you a schedule,” Logan replied, a frown on his face, “Anyways.”

Logan turned back around. I assumed he was going to look for my melatonin. 

Oh no… my room’s a mess. No, he’s Logan. He can find anything. 

I let out a somewhat audible sigh and looked around my horrorshow of a room.

I had clothes strewn everywhere, plates and bottles on every possible surface. My walls were covered in band posters, including one “Nightmare Before Christmas” poster. I had a desk crammed in the corner, covered in assorted junk. My laptop barely sat on the black desk, a macbook covered in edgy stickers. I had a comfortable black bean bag chair in another corner as well. Honestly, everything I owned was either black, red, or purple.

“You should really work on cleaning your room. How old is this half-eaten donut?”

“Uh… probably a month old.” 

Logan winced.

“Oh, there.”

After a minute of searching, Logan finally found the melatonin.

He grabbed one, giving it to me.

“I’ll get some water.”

Logan left the room, leaving me staring blankly at the melatonin pill I held in my hand. 

A minute later Logan came back with a small cup of water, carefully setting it on my nightstand.

“I think this will be enough,” He said, nodding at the water.

I grabbed the water and took the melatonin.

“It’ll take about thirty minutes to kick in. Do you still need me?” Logan asked, turning the flashlight off.

I stared blankly at him, zoning out. 

“Virgil?”

“Wha-Oh… Uh,” I mumbled, feeling my face get hot.

“You okay?” Logan said softly. 

“Yep. I-I’m f-f-fine…” I stuttered, assuming I looked as red as a tomato if you could see me.

From the very dim light I had I saw Logan raise an eyebrow.

“Do you still need me?” Logan asked again.

“Uh… yeah..” I muttered.

“What?” 

“Yeah,” I said, a little louder now.

Logan stepped a bit closer.

“Still can’t hear you,” He said, looking somewhat puzzled.

“Yes! Jeez…” I half-yelled, covering my strongly blushing face.

I half-curled up in a ball, my face feeling as if it were on fire and it was about to melt off.

I swear I heard Logan softly chuckle before he sat down next to me.

“Well, is there anything that usually helps you get to sleep?” Logan asked, his voice soft. I felt my heart racing in my chest.

“I-um… Music, I guess,” I barely uttered out of my mouth, uncovering my face to try to keep eye contact as if I wasn’t fl-I mean… I don’t know.

“What kind of music?” 

“I don’t know… like… slow… classical… m-maybe?” I said, trying to slow down to stop my nearly incomprehensible speech from my flu-awkward speaking. You still stuttered once.

Logan silently grabbed his phone, and in a few seconds he had a relaxing playlist on. He turned the volume down low, just enough so you could only hear if you were in this room.

“Do you need anything else, Virge?” 

“A ki-” I froze midway through my definitely-not-thought-through-sentence. WHAT WAS THAT VIRGIL!? WHAT THE HELL?!

We just stared blankly at each other, blushing intensely.

I held my breath, my muscles tense. Oh God, what have I done? I’ve blown it. I’ve officially blown it. Why would he even like me anyway? He’s literally Logic, he doesn’t have fee-

My thoughts were cut off by his lips touching mine.

I screamed internally.

I felt my heart flip out of my chest as we kissed, everything seeming to slow down in motion for the few seconds it lasted. I was half-grinning the whole time too, and while Logan rarely smiled I swore I could feel him barely smirking.

Logan pulled away, a pretty goofy love-struck grin on my face.

“Goodnight.” 

I watched him as he left, still smiling idiotically. 

I layed back down, staring up at the ceiling. I can’t… believe that was real. Wait. Am I dreaming? I pinched myself. Did not wake up… thank the Heavens. 

I closed my eyes, getting into a comfortable sleeping position. In just a few seconds, I fell into a deep sleep, still smiling.

--

should i continue this?

[disabled-queen-hc-blog]

hi! i read Your rules and i just want to say it's definitely disco deacy. deacy and Not deaky!! also i Wanted to ask - could you Do something with joger and ocd? (as you Can obviously see i have ocd myself and ive been feeling extra shitty about it lately) i love Your writing and please keep writing its really great! have a Great day!

“One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three,” Roger mumbled to himself as he flicked the light switch off and on. He had to do it three times and in three sets. Three, six, nine, twelve were the numbers that kept everyone safe. If he did it four times or in four sets, John would die. If he did it twice in two sets, Queen would fail. 

The lights were finally off and he exited the bathroom. He opened and closed the door three times before it was officially shut. He counted the steps he took to the bed. It had to be an odd number or he’d have to start all over. Even numbers meant he would choke to death. 

He was lucky tonight he made it to the bed in seven steps. He crawled into bed where John was already tucked in, sleepy eyed. He finished his bed time routine faster than Roger’s for obvious reasons. 

Roger scooted his way closer to John, dragging to bassist closer to him. “Have you already gone to sleep?” Roger asked. John groaned, wriggling up to Roger, seconds away from succumbing to slumber. Roger took that as a yes.

“Well, goodnight then, love,” Roger said, pressing his lips to John’s. And then again. And again. John wasn’t even conscious for the last one. 

Roger got himself comfortable, listening to John’s soft breathing. For most people, this should be a relaxing part of the day. It wasn’t for Roger. His body might start to relax, but his brain only gained more speed. There was so much to worry about. 

What if John died in his sleep?

What if Roger had a heart attack?

What if he got a call at 3am that Freddie got killed in a car accident?

What if John could read his mind and was pretending to sleep, judging him for all these thoughts?

What if he accidentally smothered John somehow?

What if he died?

What if John died?

His heart was pounding in his chest, a sure sign of a heart attack, right? But it happened every night...no this was the night it’d end. He had to do something about it. 

Roger got up, padding his way to the kitchen. He closed the bedroom door nine times because nine was better than three and six but not excessive like twelve or fifteen. Nine was also the square root of three unli-

He was in the kitchen, rummaging through the medicine cabinets. He needed aspirin for the heart attack he was definitely having and some melatonin so he could sleep. 

He took one aspirin pill even though he’d prefer to take three. He took three melatonin capsules. He touched the water faucet seven times. 

Roger was able to slink back into bed, only closing the door three times. He curled up against John and prayed for unconsciousness. It was the fifth day in a row he did this exact routine. He was scared it’d become permanent.

♚

Roger was up early, whistling as he cooked breakfast for the two of them. Toast and bacon. Nothing too heavy. Neither of them cared for heavy meals. 

He poured oil into the skillet, turning on the stove to mid-high. That setting made the knob perfectly vertical. 

He knew they’d only eat four strips of bacon between them, but that’d mean he’d have to fry three in one batch and one in the other, which wouldn’t work. He feared he’d kill John if he did. So he did six. But he couldn’t do two batches of three because he’d end up killing John that way too. So he crammed 6 strips into the frying pan that could accommodate three at most.

He hummed a song he heard on the radio the other day as he prepared the bread. Six slices again. But he hit a dilemma. There was only two slots in the toaster. He counted. He recounted it too, just in case. He’d have to do three batches of two and two wasn’t a good number. Maybe Brian would stub his toe or drown in his bath tub and he couldn’t be sure which. 

He could ask John to do the toast, but what if it still had the same effect? Roger chewed his lip as the bacon crackled and popped, six slices of bread before him. He could figure this out by himself. He was grown. He could do this. He could do this without killing anyone. Without giving anyone cancer. 

The bacon started to smoke.

Roger would find a way because everyone depended on him to find a way.

The oil was sizzling, the bacon turning black.

Roger had this under control, he just-

“R-Roger, baby, please,” John choked out from the kitchen doorway, eye’s welled with tears.

Roger looked back from the mess in front of him, breathing hard, his own eyes red and glossy.

“I have this,” he said, even though smoke was filling up the room.

John shook his head, having watched the whole thing. “No you don’t” he said, voice cracking. 

John entered the kitchen, pushing Roger aside. He turned off the stove and opened a window. He opened up Roger’s hand, him unknowingly squishing the bread in a horrible mix of fear and frustration. He threw out the ruined bread before standing by the window, the morning sun making his tears glitter. 

“I’m sorry,” John mumbled, trying to compose himself. Roger just stood frozen, not knowing what was happening. What had he done? Was this his fault? Of course it was. It was always his fault. He had one job and he always messed it up. He was supposed to keep everyone safe but he always fucked it up. He miscounted or didn’t do enough sets to-

“You deserve so much better, Rog,” John said after taking a deep breath. He turned to face his boyfriend, stepping closer to him.

“What are you talking about?” Roger said, eyebrows furrowing.

“Baby, the pan was seconds away from starting a grease fire. And you didn’t notice. Too busy with the counting,” John’s head tilted.

“No, no, I was just trying to think of a way to toast everything in three’s so you’d be alright. I would have noticed,” Roger nodded fast, not self aware to how ridiculous he sounded. 

John smiled, but it was sad, his eyes tearing up again. He’d let this go one for far too long. He thought it was a quirk at first. A silly little thing Roger did for whatever reason. But the more time they spent together, especially after moving in, he began to realize how toxic these rituals were. The way Roger blabbered about numbers and how he was the only one in the way of all danger. 

It was obvious Roger was suffering. He might not have been aware of it, but he wasn’t in a good place. 

Roger took the weight of the world onto his shoulders, trying to protect the ones he loved from death and injury. It was John’s turn to do the protecting, the rescuing. 

John pulled a confused Roger into a hug, squeezing him tight. “How about I make some phone calls and then I take you to a diner for breakfast instead?” he whispered, relaxing a little when Roger agreed.

♚

“Breathe, Rog. You have this. I’m here, alive and safe. You can do this,” John said as he stood just outside the bathroom. Roger was shaking, eyes flowing. He couldn’t do this. He didn’t have this. He wanted to do what he always did. He wanted John to live. 

“Turn off the light once, like the therapist said and then you can check me from head to toe. I’ll be alright,” he continued to coach, a hand reaching out to rub Roger’s shoulder.

Roger’s finger trembled as it reached for the light switch. This was his first task. Turning on and off the lights just once. It was only one thing, and yet he wanted to throw up at the thought of it. His mind kept racing with all the what if’s.

“What if I get hurt?” he said shakily.

“I’ll patch you up,” John said immediately and assuredly.

“And if you get hurt?”

“Then you’ll patch me up,”

Roger sniffled, staring at the stupid light switch. Just once. Just once can’t kill someone, right? Can’t make Queen fall off the charts? It can’t, can it?

“C-Count me down,” Roger said, steeling his nerves.

John opened his mouth to start the count down, but stammered before starting again. “Four, three, two one,”

Roger flicked the switch, a sob coming from his chest. He ran out the bathroom and into John’s arms, shaking like a leaf. John held onto him, rubbing his back, congratulating him for his first step. 

“You did so good, Rog. Brilliant. And look, everyone is alright. Nobody is hurt. You see? You don’t have to be so tense. Everything is perfect,”

It took Roger an hour to calm down, John ushering him to bed. Maybe after that good cry, he could sleep at a proper time and without the aid of medicine. 

Roger preferred to be the big spoon most nights, since that’s what protectors did, but tonight, John was able to wrangle him into being the little spoon. 

John snuggled into Roger’s neck, rubbing his chest, cooing soothing words into his ears. Until he fell asleep. Without a fight or struggle. He fell asleep for the first time in months without panic, without intrusive thoughts, without worry. 

“You’re so strong, so brave. Roger, I love you to bits. I’ve got you, alright? You’re never gonna be alone. We’ll get through this,”

It was only the first step, the first night. There’d be many other challenges to face. But Roger felt ready to tackle them. He had John by his side keeping him afloat. Not the number three. Just John.

[dontjudgemepeepswrites]

April 1st

y/n - your name

y/n/n - your nickname

y/s/n - your surname

y/f/n - your full name

--------------------------------

I wake up to the sound of my alarm. Wait, my alarm? I don't use an alarm. Why is my-- Jake. It's April 1st. One of the few holidays that Jake likes and partakes in.

"Rise and shine, sunshine. We have a long day planned! We're going to prank all of my co-workers!" an excited Jake Peralta says from beside me.

"Even Rosa?" I ask, smirking.

"Are you insane? Of course not Rosa. I'd be dead in 2 seconds flat."

"Mhm, and how long have you been awake, exactly?"

"2 hours."

"Babe."

"Yeah?"

"It's 3am. You've been up since 1?!"

"... maybe. Now get up, please. I'll make you breakfast." After hearing this, I shoot out of bed, taking it more as a threat since you shouldn't even trust Jake with cereal.

"No, I got it. Don't go near food. At all. And if you really want to prank your co-workers, I have a few ideas."

"Ooh, pray tell."

"Na ah ah. Get your own pranks."

"It's on, y/s/n. But can you give me one? Please?"

"Fine. Replace the cream in the oreos with toothpaste."

"That's an amazing idea. Now do we have any oreos?"

"Cupboard in the corner," I mumble tiredly.

"Thanks." He opens the cupboard and fake snakes jump out. He squeals like a 4 year old girl and jumps back in terror.

"Happy April fools day, bitch."

"I'm gonna get you so good, y/s/n."

"I'd like to see you try. In high school I was voted ruler of pranks."

"Is bad that that turned me on a bit?"

"You tell me," I whisper seductively, in order to get a reaction out of him. I then leave, my now ready bowl of cereal in my hand.

"Sometimes I hate you, y/n."

"No you don't."

"You're right, I don't."

"That's what I thought." Jake tries to sit next to me but I stop him. "You can't sit with us."

"Actually, Megan, I can't sit anywhere. I have hemroids."

"Did you just--"

"Yup."

"No sex for you for the next year then."

"What. No."

"Then take it back."

"Fine. I take it back." As he says that, I get a text. "Who's that?"

"My friend, Kane. He lives in England so he's like 5 hours ahead of us."

"Prove it." I roll my eyes but show him anyway. It's a good thing I planned this.

"Hey y/n, I know it's early there but I just wanted to say, text me when you can. I need to ask you something urgent. It's about Linda," he reads. "Who's Linda?"

"His daughter. He doesn't know anything about girls and she's 13, so."

"Oh, ok."

"I'm gonna go give him a call." What he doesn't know, however, is that Rosa is Kane and Linda was a signal. She's at the precinct. I've managed to get everyone on board with my plan for today. Except Charles. I'm not telling him.

"Fine. But leave the door open."

"You really wanna hear about girl issues? And I wasn't asking your permission."

"Woah, woah, woah. What's with the sass?"

"I'm tired, sorry. I get sassy when I'm tired."

"Ok. And yeah, you're right. Close the door." Ha ha, sucker. I walk out and call 'Kane'.

"Hey Kane. My boyfriend woke me up so I thought we'd just talk now."

"The balloons, air horn and mouse are done. We're doing the photo copier now. Have you done the soap?"

"Yeah, of course."

"He's not gonna have any idea."

"No, for the millionth time, Linda can be in a relationship if she wants. It's not your choice."

"Good call, Peralta's probably listening."

"Yes. And are you running low on period pads? You always forget to buy them."

"He's probably gone now. You can stop."

"Yeah. Well, I'm gonna go now. Bye, Kane."

"Later y/n." I hang up and walk back inside, pretending to be frustrated.

"You ok, babe?" Jake asks.

"Kane can be frustrating. And by that, I mean extremely annoying."

"C'mere." Jake gestures for me to snuggle him, so I do.

"Thanks for being the best boyfriend, Jakey."

"It's no problem. Wanna have sex before we go to the precinct? We've got ages."

"Really, Jake? I was thinking we watch a few Die Hard movies."

"Both?"

"Sure."

*At the precinct*

Everything's set up.

"Morning all," Jake says, rather chirpily, carrying the 'oreos'.

"Let's see, Jake brought snacks in on April fools. And they're oreos. You put toothpaste in them, didn't you?" Amy deduces.

"What? No! I'll prove it. Hitchcock, Scully! I have oreos! You want some?" Before anyone could even say oreos, they were here and ate about half of the 'oreos'.

"Mmm. These are amazing."

"See, they're fine. Y'know what, I'll leave these here, take one if you want one."

"I don't trust you," Amy says again. She turns to me. "You have one, y/n. You live with him, and are his girlfriend. You'll know if something's up."

"Fine," I say and pick up the one closest to me, which just so happens to be the normal oreo I snuck in there before we left. Jake knew about this, but so do the rest if the precinct. I'm just leading him into a false sense of security. I eat it. "See. It's fine." Everyone knew before we arrived that they would have to eat one, so they all sucked up and ate one, knowing they would be disgusting as they contain toothpaste.

"You liars. I'm gonna kill you, Peralta," Rosa threatens.

"What about y/n?" he asks. I give him a glare for throwing me under the bus.

"You probably dragged them into doing it. They're off the hook. For now."

"What is happening? Everyone back to work. Now," Holt says, following the plan. Jake goes to his desk and plops down on his chair, triggering the air horn we attached to it, making him leap 6 feet into the air. Everyone bursts out laughing.

"Ha ha, very funny," he mocks, taking the air horn off the chair. Once he finally does that, he sits back down and tries to open a report he's working on. Key word: tries.

"What the neck? The cursor isn't moving. Is something wrong with the mouse? It was working yesterday." He picks up the mouse and turns it upside down and sighs. "Alright, who did this? Who put this paper that says 'lol u got trolled' in comic sans and has a picture of me making a stupid face on it on my sensor?" Everyone laughs again.

*later that day*

"Jake, can you interrogate this perp for me? I need to go help with an arrest and your better at interrogating than me. Oh, and while I'm out, can you photo copy this perp's case?" I ask.

"Sure."

"Thanks, I'll see you later," I say, giving him a goodbye kiss on the cheek.

"See ya, y/n."

He has no idea what he's in for. Instead of leaving, I go to the security office to watch everything from the camera. Jake takes the 'perp' (who is actually an actor I've paid) to the interrogation room and comes face to face with something he does not expect. "Crap. Someone ballooned the interrogation room. Well, it looks like you're going to stay in holding a little longer," he says to the perp. After the perp is back in the holding cell, I receive a call from Jake. I don't answer since I'm supposedly 'making an arrest'. "Hey, y/n. It's Jake. I'm having trouble interrogating the perp because someone ballooned the interrogation room. I'm just checking from the interconnecting room and yeah, I can't see anything. I'm just gonna photo copy that case. I'll call you again if there are any problems. Call me when you can." Oh my gosh, he fell for it. What we actually did, was we blew up enough balloons to make it look like the room was filled up, and then stuck them to the one way glass and door into the interrogation room. Smart, eh?

Jake grabs the file I left on his desk and goes to the photo copier. He doesn't focus on what he's doing, luckily, and grabs everything from the printer. When back at his desk, he doesn't check them again, luckily. You see, we left a picture of Taylor Swift in the photo copier, so everything that gets photocopied while the photo's there will have an imprint of Taylor Swift. He then carries on with his work. After I see this, I head out and grab him some candy, so his day isn't all bad. However, part of my considers making him a candy apple but instead, replacing the apple with an onion. I don't think I'll be that mean though. I walk back into the precinct with the candy.

"Hey, Jake. I got your message. Sorry for wasting your time then."

"Don't worry, y/n/n. Here are your files by the way."

"Thanks. In return I give you this candy."

"Thanks y/n/n, I'm so lucky to have you."

"Awww, you two are too cute," Charles fanboy(le)s.

"Thanks, Charles." I open up the photocopy and pretend to be shocked. "Um, Jake. Why is there an imprint of Taylor Swift on every page?"

"What?"

"Yeah, look here." I show him the file and he starts to freak out.

"What? Why are there so many pranks today?!"

"Jake, babe. It's fine."

"I'm gonna find them, and make them apologise."

"You've already found them," I reveal.

"What d'you mean?"

"Everything today has been us. And by us, I mean, I came up with all 4 ideas and Terry, Holt, Amy and Rosa helped execute them. I wasn't talking to Kane this morning; I was talking to Rosa."

"Oh. That makes so much more sense. But what about the interrogation room and photo copier?"

"It was a fake case. The 'perp' is actually an actor I hired."

"Oh. How long did the balloons take though?"

"Not long. Maybe 10 minutes."

"To fill the entire room?"

"No, you dingus. Follow me." I lead him to the interrogation room door and open it. "We covered the windows to make it easier for everyone to do and clear away. My pranks are easy to tidy up."

"You really are the ruler of pranks, y/n."

"Never doubt my power."

"This just adds to the huge list of why I love you. And it also makes me even more sure that I'm about to do the right thing."

"What?" I ask, confused. Then he gets down on one knee.

"y/f/n, I love you and I have and will for years. Today has been a rollercoaster but has overall made me even more proud to call you mine and now I want more. Will you do me the honour of marrying me?"

"Yes. A million and fourteen times yes! Of course I'll marry you!" I pull him into a long, passionate kiss. "We have to tell the others." We walk hand in hand to the bullpen.

"You two look happy. Did you meet Beyoncé?" Gina asks.

"No, we only got engaged," I say, brushing it off like it's nothing.

"Wait, what?" everyone in the precinct says simultaneously.

"Is this another prank?" Rosa asks.

"No. I'm gonna get married to the love of my life," I start welling up.

"Jake, why didn't you tell me? Why wasn't I there? I've been fantasising about it for forever!" Charles asks, quite upset.

"It was kind of a spur of the moment thing. I wanted it to be organic. Besides, I wanted to surprise my best man," Jake announces, smiling at Charles.

"Me? I'd be honoured. And Nikolaj could be the ring bearer!"

"Woah, woah, woah, slow down there Boyle. We got engaged a few minutes ago."

"Detective y/s/n, Detective Peralta, I'm happy for you. Take the rest of the day off." Holt says.

"Let's go shall we, fiancé?" Jake asks.

"We shall, fiancé."

Today has been the best day ever.

--------------------------------

[ruwithmeguys]

I regret saying I’d be asleep for this episode because, of course my body/brain decided to screw with me at 3am!

7.11

Okay. We have mixed messages here: on the positive side of things, David did very well with what he was given, and some of the script wasn't... great. I understand writing is hard and that there’s a process, a goal line. But there were some huge issues for me that this episode highlighted and maybe I’m very wrong about them too. 

Yet he made it run much more smoothly than the episode prior and there were some decent moments, so Kudos to him. Be my guess to direct again!

Felicity being the go-to girl never gets old, though the same cannot be said for when SHE’S the one who needs the help (yes, I’m side-eyeing almost the entire cast).

Forcing Siren to see that, yes: friendship doesn’t rely on favours and then encouraging her and actually being her friend was beautiful to see. NTA/Diggle take a crash course please.

Curtis making some sense for once feels like foreshadowing. It’s the kind of stuff they do before a character death and, CAN I DREAM? Yeah, I’m not sorry. He pushed well beyond the joke last year.

Oliver being so unbelievably patient with a city that does nothing but judge him, feels accurate and I’m genuinely proud of this character. That and you could FEEL his anger towards his father in this episode. His entire body radiated with a controlled, mature rage and injustice; highlighted by how he’s always blamed for his father’s sins. And Felicity was perfect: being the sensitive cupcake she is, sensed this immediately, stayed close enough to offer comfort yet far enough away to give him time to come to terms with himself, which he starts to do by the end of the episode and it’s exactly what he needed from her. I’ll enjoy when the time comes for him to do the same for her. 

Her PTSD is subtle too: the defence system, her focus on it and Oliver letting her reign supreme showcases the changes in their life together quite nicely.

I could only ever enjoy scenes with siren in it if Felicity is there and OH LOOK: the writers know that too!

And whilst I don’t enjoy Oliver working with a police force who have caused many of his nighttime activities to last weeks, it does feel fitting that he’s still the only one who really gets shit done.

Oliver being judged for his father’s actions feels redundant. The fact that an entire city is forgetting how much he’s done for them, feels spectacularly inappropriate and yet, sadly, accurate for his character. Worst still, Emiko wants nothing to do with... because of their atrocious father. It’s normal for hurt to come out like this, for people to push others away but, she’s honestly going to let what Robert ruined, stay ruined? Kay. I can buy that, because we know it’ll change eventually.

I can't buy her still wearing the hood. There is no reason now for why she’s wearing it, unless it’s to be juvenile. OR to copy her brother. I know imitation is flattery but it isn’t a good choice for a woman who faces criminals and, why does she do that again? She became a copycat vigilante... because her father was a dick? 50% of father’s are dicks but we don’t have half of Star City as caped crusaders. Her mother was murdered... you could argue that as a reason, definitely. But the fact that she hasn’t established her own identity feels like a let down for me because we know that, once she’s done getting what she needs, she’ll take it off and... then what? Will Oliver pay for her actions too?

Out of everything she could have done, WHY WEAR A MASK? Oliver did it as a way to channel his darker half created over years of horror, he did it to let the violence out but it created a mirror image of himself that only hurt him. So this needs an answer and what we’ve been given so far, feels lazy. Luckily we have many more episodes to see what’s going on here because... I’m not intrigued like I should be and that’s because the way she’s been written in, feels off. Maybe even disingenuous. And I feel like it’s going to backfire on Oliver and, more specifically, Rene. I want to care about this woman. We’ll wait and see.

It doesn’t help that she’s another character crapping on Oliver and Oliver has had enough of that to last ten lifetimes.

What are Diggle and Lyla trying to accomplish because I’m confused by their increasingly poor choices. They are two of the smartest characters on the show, so I’m flummoxed.

...Did the writers really tell us that the reason siren started on her road to badness was because she had a paddy over birthday cake? Don’t do this to me guyyyyyyyyyyys.

Her father’s death was never her fault, but her crimes/murders on E2 and then on E1 are, so... will she even try to redeem herself for them? It’s just another tell, not show. EXCEPT. 

This is soooo early in the game for her to be redeemed. She’s honouring Quentin’s sacrifice and is now seen as this redeemed woman. Already?

I sense a big-ass caveat on the horizon. That doesn’t mean she won’t be redeemed still, but it does mean something’s coming that will test her. At least, narratively speaking, but who knows. I think her morally is defo still up for grabs. She literally hasn’t redeemed herself at all. What she has done is make steps to try to be better, so it’s progress. But it isn’t redemption. So maybe a choice needs to be made later?

Siren excused for mass murder but Oliver being held accountable for everyone’s sins is... I don’t have a word for it.

Overall, I enjoyed Oliver’s role in this episode: he deserves so much more than what he received (no wonder star city falls), the Diggle’s aren't making sense, Felicity’s excitement was adorable, her tech development extraordinary and she showed how to be a good friend, and Siren appreciating that, earns her points. The reason behind how she started on the road to villainy lost those points - honestly, the way she spoke about it last year, I genuinely thought her family and loved ones died in a violent attack. That and, you really can fake being a lawyer. LET’S ALL DO IT! I hope there’s more to her backstory. I pray hard that Curtis’s time is coming to a close.

It wasn’t a bad episode. It wasn’t a good one. I enjoyed some of it whilst parts made me want to stop caring.

The next episode is one I’m particularly interested in I hope what happened in this one leads a little into 7.12.

These are just my thoughts!

[jarkenengaga]

Forgive me box part 3

It was 3am and the house was busy with the whole group trying to get out and at the airport on time. Jinyoung is going though the list to make sure they have everything and BamBam just arrived. Jinyoung “okay everyone has they passports and bags? We got to be out of here in 30. Where Jackson he not here yet?”

JB close his bag and put it on “No one’s heard from him. The Manger tried to call him ten times now. Maybe he contacted Mark and they are talking things out? Let hope and pray that it. please Lord we need break “

Jinyoung looks at Mark’s room door “oh Mark where is he?did someone wake him up?”

Bambam made an overly dramatic shocked face “you Hyung Jinyoung!! who never forget anything!!! forgot to wake Mark? .....You sick bro?”

Jinyoung “No and No! I was just letting him sleep because he got in late and didn’t seem like he was going to get much sleep because of they fight. And Hey!! I would get more done if you Bichish would help me out some times”

BamBam “Mark and Jackson had a fight again?”

Yugyeom “hey I packed my own bag this time”

Youngjae “hey Hyung I made breakfast”

Jinyoung “Youngjae sorry I wasn’t talking about you. Thanks for breakfast it was just what we needed. Yugyeom did you remember toothbrush? And Yes they BamBam”

Yugyeom jump up off the couch” oh I forget it!! Thanks hyung!!!” He runs to the bathroom to get it

BamBam looked at JB “maybe that why he not answering? That not like Jacks..”

Youngjae covered BamBam mouth at the end of his Sentence “shh BamBam don’t use his name Mark coming”

And Youngjae was right Mark had just come out of his bedroom fully dressed and ready to go. bag and passport in hand. But he looked like he didn’t sleep at all and his eyes are red and puffy from him crying for the last three hours. He was trying to hide it by pulling his hoodie over his head and covering his mouth with a facemask. But it didn’t work. he could tell all his members knew. “Great” he cleared his throat.

Mark “we ready?”

Youngjae spoke “um yea! But we are miss one? Did.... um you know who call you? we cannot get a hold of him?”

Mark take one look around and knew whom his was referring to “why would a Donkeys butt want to call me?”

Youngjae “well! Maybe because you mean a lot to the donkeys butt”

Mark “ doubtful”

Youngjae “what do you mean doubtful? that donkeys butt Maybe a little rude, sometimes unsanitary, but has a big heart! that’s full of love for you.”

Mark “donkeys butt’s don’t have heart”

Youngjae “well this donkeys butt has....”

Yugyeom “what is haha” he starts laughing and rolling on the floor

BamBam start to laugh too “why don’t you just call him an..”

Jinyoung “Mark Jackson not a...”

But JB interrupts all of their fun “Guy we don’t have time for this. The plane is going to leave without us we have to find Jackson”

Jinyoung, Mark, BamBam, Yugyeom, and Youngjae all say at once “right!!”

BamBam “but why is he not answering the phone? Mark you try?”

Mark “why me?”

Jinyoung “because he will answers for you”

Mark took out his phone and tosses it to JB “non bro!! you call him. just use my phone”

JB roll his eyes but called Jackson from Mark’s phone still no answer “we will have to go pick him up then!! Mark you got a key to his place right”

Mark “yae! But what if like he not there?”

Jinyoung “he better there”

Yugyeom “what do you mean if he not there?”

Mark “I don’t know “ Mark wrapped his arms around his waist to hold himself “this isn’t like him”

BamBam “what if something wrong? If there like blood or anything i’m bouncing”

Youngjae “why would there be blood!! Omo”

Jinyoung “there not going to be! Because Jackson fine!! Right JB”

JB gave Jinyoung seriously worried look but agreed “Yes guy there’s nothing to worry about”

Jinyoung “ see!! nothing!! right Mark? ... Mark”

Addition to his red puffy eyes and face Mark was now turning pale. “um Yes Right!” He didn’t want to think about if Jinyoung being wrong. Especially since what he said last night was “he had hope he was die.” Mark was try not to think to much into this. Jackson was fine right?

They all got into the car and drove over to Jackson’s place it wasn’t far so it didn’t take them long. The time was now 4:15am and all six ran up the stairs and open the door to the apartment.

JB “Jackson!!!”

BamBam “bro you up?”

Jinyoung “Jackson we’re going to be late come on!!”

Mark just walked in and went Straight to the bedroom “Jack you...” before he could finish talk. he saw what looked like a small child jump up from the bed and scream, before running off to hide in the close. But it couldn’t be a child. Why would a child be at Jackson place? Mark walked over to the close and peeked insid. he saw small figure in the corner,so he bent down so to not scare the child any further and tryed to get a good look at him.

Youngjae come in the room”Mark”

Mark “hey turn on the light?”

Youngjae did. Mark was shocked when he got a good look at the child. Because he know this child very well he seen lot of pictures of him.

Mark “Jackson!”

{Child Jackson can only speak Mandarin }baby Jackson say “Muqin!” (Meaning Mother)