#i need to start playing persona someday

[retroellie]

NSFW Alphabet with Daryl Dixon

Summary: NSFW Alphabet with Daryl Dixon :)

A/N: Hey y'all! sorry for just like dying but I've been not wanting to write. I've been wanting to write for Daryl for a hot minute and don't worry I'm still Ellies whore ofc :). I just have grown an obsession for crusty musty Daryl Dixon <3. I'm still writing for Ellie; I've actually been working on some Fics for her but i just needed a break from mommy Ellie :( But enjoy!

Warnings: NSFW, Knife play, mentions of pegging, BDSM, blood, normal TWD stuff

Word count: 3.2K

A= Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

Daryl is so caring afterwards. Daryl likes to put this tough guy persona on around others, but you really see him for what he is, a big teddy bear. So after sex, when your out of breath and fucked out, he will clean you up so gently. He will get a rag and clean his mess up while giving you soft kisses on your face, probably mumbling something like " Come back to me love..." because you are still a little high in the clouds. I just know this mf is so soft afterwards, i know from experience :).

B=body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

Where do I start with this one... Well daryl worships the ground you walk on so him choosing his favorite part of you is like asking him to choose between his children. He really likes your hands, you keep them as soft as you can and he likes that. Plus he finds you using them in any way, sexual or not, just so hot. Your boobs are a close second (Daryl is a boob guy, i said what i said) He likes soft things and your boobs are soft and squishy, he likes playing with them.

He doesn't really have a  favorite part of himself, he's an insecure man. What more can I say? However he likes his arms, just because you say you like them so now, he's a big fan of them. Whatever turns you on fastest he's cool with.

C=cum (Anything to do with cum)

Daryl is super careful of where he cums, he'll cum on your stomach, tits, ass basically anywhere that isn't in you. He doesn't want to get you pregnant and there's not many ways to prevent it in the apocalypse, so his pull-out game is strong. He would like to have kids with you someday but as of right now he's okay with cumming on you, he thinks you look pretty that way anyways.

However there are times he finds condoms while on runs and bitch... he uses them up in like one day. He loves that he can cum deep inside you and not have to worry about you getting knocked up, because if he could cum inside you every time, he would in a heartbeat.

D=dirty secret

this is in fact a dirty secret, literally. He likes when you are dirty, like all bloodied up and there's literal brains in your hair. It just gets him going he can't control himself. He also likes seeing you kill people, no walkers, literal people (bad people obviously). Just seeing you take someone's life, seeing what you can do to a person when you're mad enough.  It also puts him in a more submissive mindset for some reason, like he wants you on top of him yelling degrading things towards him.

One time you had killed someone, probably one of the whisperes and he got so worked up, he begged you to fuck him right than and there. You gladly did, you took him and fucked him right in front of the boyd you had just killed. That's also a secret, he likes to be the submissive one.

E=experience (How experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

I don't see Daryl being that experienced tbh. I mean he knows what he's doing yeah, he knows where everything is and he definitely knows how to get a girl screaming but he's not had many people. He's probably hooked up with some junkies and hookers merle hung out with but he never really had what you guys have yk? So everytime you guys would fuck he would secretly be taking notes in his head, watching what every little move did to you.

F=Favorite position

He loves anything that involves y’all close, like super close. He loves missionary for that reason but his all time favorite is you riding him. He loves how he can just sit back and watch you take what you need, he’ll sit up so his face is shoved between your tits and he’ll just suck and lick till there’s no tomorrow.

He needs to feel close to you especially in such a vulnerable act, anything could happen in a single moment so him feeling close to you makes that fear melt away for a moment. However he does like it from the back sometimes, especially when he’s really mad at you for doing something stupid. He bent you over and smacked your ass while pounding into you, leaving bruises and fingerprints in your skin. He’ll sometimes choke you if he’s mad enough but he will always ask if he can hurt you in such ways.

G= Goofy (Are they serious at the moment or are they humorous?)

Daryl is a very goofy guy when you get to know him, like I said he has this big badass persona on all the time. He really lets his guard down around you and you’ve come to like it. So in bed he will definitely be a little goofball, he’ll have you giggling in seconds if he feels like it. Of course he likes to be more serious when trying to get you to cum, like ‘okay that was funny but we need to get back to make your squirm’ yk? But goofy Daryl is my favorite Daryl <3

H= Hair (How groomed are they down there?)

It’s literally the apocalypse so he doesn’t do anything down there. He barely showers half the time so take it or leave it… but however he will try to clean up down there when he gets to the commonwealth but you end up not liking it so he stops it. Something about him being all untamed is a turn on for you so his shaving made you feel strange.

He also doesn’t care about your grooming habits. I mean he’s eaten uncooked squirrel, dog and even worms so you being hairy or “smelly” doesn’t bother him one bit, he’ll still eat you out nice and right :)

I=Intimacy

Daryl lacks in the intimacy aspect of the relationship, he has a very hard time showing his love for you. Him wanting to be close to you all the time during sex is one of the many ways he attempts to show how much he loves you. You will never see Daryl Dixon making a nice candle lit dinner and than fucking you slow on the table after…no. Instead you’ll get dragged out into the forest, fed cooked fish and than fucked on a bunch of rocks and sticks. But that’s honestly good enough for you because that’s Daryl’s candle lit dinner.

J= Jack off (Masturbation headcanons)

Okay well Daryl is old, he feels like a teenager again when he has to masturbate so he just doesn’t. If he gets hard and you're not there, he just takes a cold shower because masturbating just feels wrong to him. However further into your relationship he finds himself sometimes rubbing one out but only when you're gone for a bit, other than that he lets you do all that.

K= Kinks

I feel like Daryl has a lot of kinks that haven’t really come out till you, he’s used to it being vanilla. So like he just fucks to cum and than that’s that. When you told him some of your kinks and how y’all can spice up the bedroom…. Bitch- he did not hold back. He really likes bondage, like a lot more than he thought he did. You were the first to bring bondage up and he was effy about it but once you started that he couldn’t stop. He always has rope or duck tape on him just in case.

He also likes using pain towards you in the bedroom, like slapping, choking, hitting of any kind. He will always ask for consent ofc and if you're not wanting to be too rough at the moment he won’t but he likes seeing the red marks it leaves behind and how you still adore him even when he’s choking you with his cock while slapping your face. He also really likes knife play or really anything that involves blood. He likes to make cuts on you and then lick them up, watching you wince as the sting from the wound hits you. The high of all the pain he gives you just gets him going but he’s also a little whore for taking care of you after.

L= Location (favorite place to do it)

He really likes to do it outside, especially out in the forest. I mean he basically lives out in the forest so y’all do it a lot out there. He does really like bending you over a tree and fuck you until you can’t stand, he loves seeing the little marks the tree leaves into your skin (that also adds on to the pain kink he got going in).  There’s also a chance y’all will get caught but someone or something which just makes the experience so much better. He actually prefers it when a walker shows up, it’s weird to say but to him that means he got you loud enough that a walker 2 miles away could hear your moans.

I have a feeling that one time your moans attracted a walker and while fucking you, thrusting into your so deep, Daryl pulled out his crossbow and shot the walker down… than just went back to fucking your brains out. He felt so hot in that moment but honestly you were too high on an orgasm to notice but you let him have his moment.

M= Motivation (What turns them on?)

Like I said when you kill walkers or people in front of him>>> he just can’t control himself I swear. He definitely likes when you wear his vest around him, when you hunt with him, when you tease him in public, when you wear low cut shirts… the list goes on and on. Anything you do will have him going but he’s learned to hide it, but you have gotten his walls broken down enough to know exactly what you do to him so you tease him even harder. He’s an old man… not a lot of old men get to have such a young, hot girlfriend like you so he takes full advantage of that.

N= NO (Something they wouldn't do/ turn offs)

He doesn't like being called daddy… I know I know, YALL are probably screaming at me rn. I just don’t think he likes it, he’s a father damn near (Judith and rj) and being called daddy just makes him feel gross. He also doesn’t like age play, he’s old and you're young so the role play is a little too realistic and it makes him feel creepy. Other than that everything is pretty much on the table, as long as you both consent to it and it doesn’t hurt y’all too much… he’s down.

O= Oral (Giving or receiving, skill etc.)

Don’t make this man choose plzzzz…. He loves both so much, he loves just fucking your mouth and watching you choke on it, one of this favorite things. However!! I think he likes giving better, he loves your pussy like mf he could go down on you for hours. There’s been times when he's had a bad or long day so he comes home, pulls your pants down and eats you out until you're shaking. He just loves pleasuring you more than anything, if he can get you to cum 4 times before he cums his first time?? It’s a good fucking day for him.

P= pace (are they fast or rough? slow or sensual?)

He’s so rough, maybe not exactly fast but he’s in you deep. Daryl can not be soft for the life of him, even when he tries he still ends up being too rough but good for him that he found someone who likes it rough :) It was a match made in hell!!! He loves to grab onto your waist as he pounds into you so he can literally be as deep as he possibly can and sometimes it gets so rough it’ll make your eyes cross. Basically by the end of it you’ll be worn out and definitely bruised

Q= Quickie (Their opinions on quickies)

He’s not the biggest fan of them, like he likes them when he’s busy or tired from hunting but he really likes long drawn out sessions. He just doesn’t like feeling rushed and quickies make him feel rushed, he just feels like his orgasm isn’t as good when y’all are doing a quickie. Like I said he likes to take is time with you, he likes to fuck you for hours at a time and he likes to bruise you up a bit.

When y’all are forced to do quickies he’s super rough and fast with them, like this man is animalistic when you guys are rushing to reach your highs. He’ll bend you over a table, not even bother with underwear so he just pulls them to the side, he’ll grab onto your hips and pound into you over and over until he’s cumming. He’ll even choke you, like a literal face turning bright red. He's choking you so hard and he’ll definitely bite you here and there. Again it’s all consensual and he doesnt hurt you too bad, it just helps him get off when he’s rushing.

R= Risk (Are they okay with experimenting? do they take risks?)

Daryl loves to experiment, I’m going to go a little deep into this for a minute. So he grew up kinda being exactly like Merle because he thought that’s how men were supposed to be. He was so much like Merle when y’all got together, like even down to the sex. He was selfish and greedy, he also had his ways out in front of him. Then he changed into himself slowly and that’s why he’s so into experimenting now, like he doesn’t really know what he wants so experimenting is super important to him now. As for risks?? He’s all for risks but they have to be safe, when they cross the line of “we are going to die” than it’s no longer fun, it’s just fucking terrifying. It’s the apocalypse so risks mean danger so he's effy on them.

S= Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He's an old man, you gotta give him breaks but he can go for a good 2 or 3 rounds but they typically last a bit. When you first got together he came super fast and it frustrated him, he would also cum and then leave because he was so embarrassed about it. Now he can last long but there’s times when he does cum fast but you were able to convince him there’s nothing wrong with it, if anything you were flattered because the pussy was too good :). But no Daryl is no sex machine but he will do anything for you, even if that meant 6 rounds all in one hour.

T= Toys (do they have toys and who do they use them on?)

So it is the apocalypse so toys aren’t a necessity but he does like toys :). He really likes handcuffs and vibrators, he  uses them on you but sometimes you manage to get him in the handcuffs or hold the vibrator up to his cock to watch him squirm. He definitely sneaks you dildos on runs because he knows you miss him and you get needy, so you have a few dildos to choose from when you get horny at night. One time you even managed to use the dildo on Daryl… so yes you did peg Daryl and yes he did honestly love it. Like I said, he’s a little experimenter and he wanted to try it before he said he didn’t like it.

U= Unfair (how much do they tease?)

He’s not the biggest tease however he loves to be teased. Daryl sometimes makes sexual jokes towards you or slaps your ass when on runs but he’s not too big of a teaser. However, when you tease him, it ignites a huge fire in him. He gets so needy and so upset that he’ll pull you into an empty room to fuck you or even flat-out finger you at the dinner table. Sometimes it’s just a big turn on that you think you’re actually getting to him, and you think your tough shit while acting all innocent when sitting on his lap in front of Rick. He just finds it so hot especially when he gets to rail you after

V= Volume (How loud are they?)

Daryl is not loud at all, he grunts and groans but he doesn’t really moan or scream. He’s grown in the habit of being quiet because of the walkers so he stays quiet but there is sometimes you will have him beg for you which is a power trip for you. He’ll beg you to ride him or beg for you to let him eat your cunt but other than that mf is silent, only basking in your sweet moans.

W- Wild card (Random headcanons)

Okay so I have had this debate on if Daryl is a top or a bottom but I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s a switch. He loves to dominate you but he loves it more when you do the dominating. He likes to just be used for a bit and allow you to hurt him or pleasure him in any way you’d like. He sometimes feels forced into being the dominant one just because he’s this big bad ass in everyone’s eyes but you see right through him. You will literally have him on his knees eating your pussy out as you yell such mean things out to him, one time you even had him crying he was feeling so good. I’m telling you, after you win this man’s trust, he will allow you to see every part of him.

X= X-ray (What's going on in their pants)

Again I never know what to put in these because mf… it’s a penis?!? Like I feel like he’s a little above average but honestly it’s all about how it’s used yk?!? It doesn’t really matter

Y= Yearning (How high is their sex drive)

His sex drive is pretty normal, before he met you it was actually pretty low tbh. Now that he met you he’s always wanting to be inside of you, I think it’s mainly because he’s so scared of you leaving him so he’s just always inside of you making sure you either can’t leave him or you just won’t want to leave him. Honestly if you are turned on most likely he will be too, it’s all about you to him.

Z= ZZZ (How quick do they fall asleep after?)

He usually doesn’t fall asleep too quickly after, he’ll stay up for hours after even if you're asleep. He’ll just lay in bed silently so as to not wake you, but he likes watching your chest heave up and down in your sleep anyways.

[darsynia]

Don't Read the Last Page (Tony Stark/Engineer!Reader multichapter)

Summary: Your friend Nat claims her plan to distract Tony Stark with her sex appeal isn't working, so she wants you to do it with your brain--and a sexy red dress. Things start out completely over your head and get more complicated when SHIELD becomes involved.

Length/Warnings: 3,500 | none (future smut!)

Masterlist | MCU Masterlist | Tony Stark Masterlist | Next

Excerpt:

“Put on a persona, if you have to. The one I chose, okay, yes, sex kitten, but-- and don’t laugh,” Nat sighs. “I’ve been playing it so straight, Cat. I thought sure he’d break, but it’s almost like he can tell that I know it’s innuendo? And by now it’s a game of chicken, and the man is too stubborn to lose. He’ll never back down.”

You can’t help the little smile of pride in the idea that the man you’ve been crushing on for so long can hold up against an onslaught like that, even though you haven’t ever met Tony Stark. Natasha is painfully gorgeous.

“So, what? You need me to be the Cat to your kitten?” you tease.

“Actually, yes.”

Chapter One: Alice In Wonderland

“Nat, you cannot be serious,” you say, holding your cell phone to your ear with your shoulder as you frown at the computer screen in front of you. The water temperature calculations in the unit you’re designing are all wrong, and you’d hoped to finish the associated code by tonight.

“You said you’d freelance for me, and I need you. Believe me, I’m as surprised as you are.” Natasha’s voice is every bit as dry as it always is, but today there’s a strong undercurrent of irritation that you hardly ever hear. “I can tell he’s interested, but I actually think the sex kitten thing is somehow overboard. I don’t think he’s going to go for me, but I can read him like a book. He definitely wants a connection, and I can’t risk him ending up with someone else. Bottom line: I need you.”

“I can’t believe you’re using drunken confidences against me right now! I have shit to do!” You were whining a little, but when your friend had joked that she might someday ask you to do some favors for the shadowy governmental agency she works for, you thought it was going to be related to computers, not the billionaire tech genius you’ve secretly crushed on for years.

“I think the hard to get thing might really work. Look, what we need is a sexy delaying tactic. You’re not going to have to sleep with him. You just need to catch his eye and keep him from doing anything really stupid with a woman at this birthday party. He’s feeling his mortality, Cat. We don’t want him to FIND it.”

“I still can’t believe that you, Miss Manipulation, have failed at doing it yourself,” you tease, saving your work and standing up.

“I overcompensated. It would have worked with the man in the file, but he’s not that guy anymore. Can I pick you up at 7?”

You pause in the act of shutting the light off in your office. “Woah, hold on. That was ‘wrapping up the conversation’ language. I have no idea what to wear, how to behave, where--”

“Shy sexy engineer, shy sexy engineer, Tony Stark’s Malibu mansion. I’ll pick you up.”

“Nat!” you protest, but the line has gone dead. The mirror you’ve hung on the other side of the reception desk helpfully reminds you that you’ll need to wear some extra concealer under your eyes, tonight. You’ve been pulling some late nights with this project. Productive ones, sure, but late. 

The concept is one of the most ambitious that your small design firm has taken on so far, but you’re passionate about it. The group of investors’ idea was simple: create a kiosk that can help eliminate the waste of single-use water bottles on college campuses. Students sign up and receive a BPA-free reusable water bottle that fits into any of the multiple stations placed around the campus, based on population and traffic patterns. In exchange for watching a few ads for a minute, their bottle is sanitized and filled with clean, cold, purified water for free. Companies can buy the ad space, and hopefully, if the project takes off, all that will be needed is the initial capital and a few fees for maintenance and water, paid for by the college itself. 

In theory, your small company made up of five friends with various engineering degrees definitely has the expertise to bring the concept into reality. In practice, it’s a lot bigger of a project than you had initially thought, especially now that a few schools in the area have been contacted by the investors to see if they’d be interested in being the pilot school. 

It’s far more coding than you’d anticipated, for one thing, and you’re the only one with the expertise to write it. You’ve got to finish this up, commit it, and then see if it actually works on the prototype in the back room, ideally before noon tomorrow. In a very real way, it’s your reputation, your name on the line if the company can’t deliver, for all that you’re not the face of the company. You’ve got Alan for that part. The stress has been bad enough that you stopped going by your business name in public completely, reverting back to the fanciful name you’d given yourself when you daydreamed about having a secret royal history.

You’ve shortened it to ‘Cat’ nowadays, since you’re not royal, though you are secretive. 

Even though you’re not really one for parties, you are curious about what a Stark party would be like. He’s ramped back his playboy lifestyle since miraculously returning from three months in that cave. Not all the way, though, you recall, because there was something in Monaco not that long ago, but you weren’t interested in Stark for that stuff anyway. You crush on his brain, really, though the rest of the package isn’t tough on the eyes.

If you’re honest, you’d been kind of glad that he’d gotten more serious and less reckless lately, so hearing Nat talk about him ‘feeling his mortality’ makes you worried, in a strange way. Ever since you were in high school, coming up on ten years ago, he’s been your celebrity crush, the person you kept an eye on, looked for references in all the magazines. You’re not really a celebrity watcher, but for the most part, Stark is different from an actor or sports guy. In your opinion, for a man with such innovative intelligence, his playboy lifestyle is as much of a waste of his talents as designing weapons. He’s done with the latter, but seems to be having trouble dropping the former.

Checking your watch, you sigh. It’s already five, and you need a shower. As you turn toward the stairs that lead up to the door to your apartment, you catch another glimpse of yourself in the mirror. God, you need a haircut.

“The only thing Tony Stark is going to do when he sees you is wonder who let in the mousy wallflower,” you groan. You never were a flashy, ‘draw all eyes when you walk in the door’ kind of girl, even though you do have a flair for picking clothes that accentuate your build. Still, the mirror is telling some home truths that you don’t appreciate right now, so you flip it off, holding your hand in that position as you walk up the stairs and tap out your code for the door.

An hour and a half later, and you’re in a push-up bra, matching panties, and a complete freak-out spiral. You have three dresses to choose from, and none of them are right, and you don’t have time to do anything else than pick one. You’re about to do the thing where you hang them in three different places in your room and spin around with your eyes shut till you stop with your finger pointed out, when you hear the front door opening.

It can only be one person, but you still grab your oversized white bathrobe and pull it on before you call out to her.

“Help, I am a damsel in serious distress. De-stress me, Natasha!”

“You need more friends if I’m who you would turn to for that,” Natasha says. She’s wearing a tight gray dress that, while stunning, doesn’t look like a party frock at all.

“Wait, is there a party? Because that is NOT what you of all people would wear to one. This is not a ‘you’ party dress. Particularly not if you’re… what did you call it? Trying to ‘sex kitten’ Tony Stark!” you protest, crossing your arms against the thick terry cloth of your robe.

“Settle,” Natasha says, but her lips curl up into a kind of a secret smile. “The party’s later, and I have to go in early. My boss wanted to talk to you a little bit beforehand.”

You back up and fall back onto your bed. “No, no, no, you’ve told me about your boss. He’s badass and terrifying.” Your tone turns whiny, then resolute. “I have stuff to do, Nat! I am reneging, right here, right now.”

Even as you say the words, your inner fangirl screams at you. No way do you want to miss the chance to be in the same room as Tony Stark, even if it means you have to withstand being glared at by Nat’s one-eyed scary spy boss.

“No, you’re not. Because I need you, and you will never forgive yourself.” Natasha is, as always, completely self-assured in the face of your frantic protestations. You’ll never forget the crazy way the two of you met, when she’d ducked into your store and frowned, confused, when she’d seen the empty racks for what had used to be a clothing store. After taking in her tight pleather fighting outfit, you’d thought fast, taking off your white hooded sweatshirt and tossing it to her. Natasha had put it on right away and you’d sat on the receptionist’s desk you were setting up, pulling open a folder and leaning over as if to present a proposal to a person sitting at the desk. She’d vaulted over the desk in a truly spectacular move, seating herself and zipping up the sweatshirt just in time.

The door had opened seconds later, revealing a tall, burly, terrifying-looking man in tradesmen’s clothing. “We’re closed!” you’d called out, and he’d grunted, looking around a few seconds before leaving.

“What about this one?” Nat says, from deep inside your closet. She emerges with a red dress that you’d bought once on a deep discount and then hidden in the closet, too embarrassed to picture yourself ever actually wearing it in public. It’s skin-tight, and the neckline/straps make up a bold X that crosses your chest in a brighter red than the rest of the fabric. Under the X is a second stylized X that stretches up to make a diamond gap between the two. The cut-out gives a daring glimpse of the lower curves of your breasts before the second X continues down to hug your hips. The damned thing continues its ‘high fashion’ nonsense in an angled cut just below your knees, except for where it slices up into a slit on your left leg, making a third, smaller X.

“I can’t wear a bra with that, Nat!” you hiss, even as you take the hanger and look at it. “Not to mention the fact that it’s literally a triple-X dress!”

“Just tell your inner self you’re living the dream?”

“I can’t believe I ever told you about having a crush on him. You know I’ll never trust you with anything ever again?” you gripe.

“Put on the dress, I don’t want to be late.”

It’s Stark’s favorite color, and actually fits perfectly. After you touch up your makeup to make it a bit more aggressive, with red lipstick that matches the dress (the one concession you’d made to someday choosing to wear it. The color’s been taunting you in your makeup bag since you’d come home with the damned thing), you’re actually feeling like a confident, capable person.

“That’s right,” Natasha says, coming up behind you and making eye contact with you in the mirror. “Put on a persona, if you have to. The one I chose, okay, yes, sex kitten, but-- and don’t laugh,” she sighs. “I’ve been playing it so straight, Cat. I thought sure he’d break, but it’s almost like he can tell that I know it’s innuendo? And by now it’s a game of chicken, and the man is too stubborn to lose. He’ll never back down.”

You can’t help the little smile of pride in the idea that the man you’ve been crushing on for so long can hold up against an onslaught like that, even though you haven’t ever met Tony Stark. Natasha is painfully gorgeous.

“So, what? You need me to be the Cat to your kitten?” you tease.

“Actually, yes.”

“Okay, I’ll wear this, but I’m not comfortable with the message the top… everything this dress is sending, so...” you say, and head over to the closet. On the way, you notice how you’re walking with more sway to your hips, like you can’t help yourself. You definitely feel like someone else, someone more bold, maybe? It’ll crumble completely if you were faced with the man himself, not that you probably will. Even with your assets on display like this, you’re still you, shy but tenacious, a ‘watch and learn’ kind of girl. Basically the opposite of his type. After years of spending time with every kind of woman, all of whom are begging for his attention, Stark will probably look past you like you’re not even there.

In the closet you find the long rectangular gold scarf/shawl your aunt had given you for Christmas what feels like fifty years ago. It’s still new in its rolled up package, and when you pull it out, you realize that its crinkled texture hides the folds perfectly. With the shawl wrapped around your shoulders in just the right way, the dress doesn’t look anywhere near as indecent as it did without. You look at yourself in the mirror one last time as you slip on your shoes, and the whole ‘sexy dress, demure shawl’ thing almost seems like a metaphor for the ‘hidden depths’ your family always joked that you have.

They wouldn’t appreciate these particular ‘depths,’ though. The only thing keeping you going is the fact that you look very different from your normal self. If everything crashes and burns, you can just pretend it wasn’t you, right?

“Okay, I’m convinced. Give him one glimpse of what’s under there and he’ll definitely be distracted,” Natasha says with a smirk.

“I bet he won’t even look in my direction,” you tell her as the two of you walk down the stairs and onto the store floor. It is, of course, devoid of the clothes racks that had been there when Natasha had barged into her accidentally unlocked door, that day. Now, eighteen months later, there’s hardly any customer-facing space at all, with double-high cube shelving separating the small lobby area from her colleagues’ workspaces. It’s cozy, but your company does decent business, and you’re proud of how far it’s come since then.

“I’ll take that bet,” Natasha says, pushing the door open with her ass and smiling a secret, knowing smile. “If he talks to you within the first half hour, you owe me my favorite take-out.” 

The place in question is basically impossible to park at, meaning if you lose, you’ll have to park fifteen minutes away to pick up the food. However, you picture the kinds of parties you’ve seen in magazines, with beautiful people all crammed together in a darkened room, and can’t help but feel confident. You don’t have the money, the attitude, or the clout to draw the attention of someone like Tony Stark.

“You’re on.”

When you get to a nondescript office building and park, Nat assures you that there’ll be a car coming to pick you up and waves you into the building. Once you’re inside, you see a man standing with his back to you, his long black trench coat doing all the work for him. 

“Nice to finally meet you, Catriona,” he says, still faced away. “Or should I call you Cat?”

“Feeling more like the mouse today,” you say, disconcerted that he knows your 'secret identity.'

“Don’t worry, you’re not prey. Not for me, anyway. Natasha tells me you were up to do her a favor,” he says, finally turning. He’s wearing an actual eye patch, and the front of him is every bit as badass-intimidating as the back of his black boots and coat had implied.

“You know technically, she owes me,” you point out. “And, is this a safe house? Wait-- don’t tell me anything top secret. I like my life. I don’t want to be in the witness protection program.”

You’re babbling, which is the other side of your extreme lock-up, ‘freeze and hope no one notices you’ coping mechanism.

“Nothing we’re asking you to do is at witness protection level. Just be beautiful, enigmatic, and smart.”

You can feel a blush rising on your face. “Uh, maybe I have the wrong building?”

“You think I’d let you in here if I didn’t know everything there is to know about you?”

Your stomach drops. “Can we start over? We can do the introduction part, and then I can find the floor I’m actually supposed to be on, and we can forget this ever--”

“Cat…” the man says, adding more gravitas to the name than you have in the decade-plus you’ve used it. “--did you know for the first few months, I thought you were an actual feline? You’ve been good for Natasha. Grounded her in the real world. She made me promise not to scare the shit out of you, and I think I’ve failed,” the man says. “My name is Nick Fury. I run an organization called SHIELD. We’ve had our eye on Stark for a while, mostly because we’d like to make sure he doesn’t implode and take half of the security of the country with him. We’re coming up on a delicate time, and I need to know I can count on you.”

You are starting to feel a little woozy. Fury can tell, you think, because he walks over, passes you to head into an alcove by the door, and comes out with a small chair. Even though you’re standing in what amounts to a darkened lobby, he places it right in the middle and gestures. You sit, because the alternative is to try to run out of here in heels, and if you did that, Natasha would make fun of you until the end of time. It’s really unfair of her, honestly.

“The bottom line, young lady, is that Stark’s a ladies' man, but his tastes are changing. Time was, he would have gone all in on someone like the character Natasha’s currently playing, but now, who knows?” Fury sighs. “Making his PA the CEO was actually one of the most brilliant ideas the man’s had since Afghanistan. But not if they’re going to be involved. That was what Natasha was supposed to deflect him from.”

“Wait,” you say, straightening up in the chair. “I’m just going to a party. I get to look pretty and be ignored by my celebrity crush. That’s it.” You’re shaking. Everything has escalated far more quickly than you ever could have expected, and you don’t even think taxis know about the building you’re currently freaking out in. You feel trapped, even though your faith in Natasha is strong enough that you don’t feel in any physical danger.

“Of course,” Fury says expansively. “I’m just letting you know what’s at stake.”

He’s trying to use your innate sense of responsibility to influence you, and while you’re offended, you’re also kind of impressed.

“I see why you’re the boss, anyway,” you mutter. Then, louder, you add, “But you’re not my boss. I’m self-employed. And not in the ‘boss babe’ kind of way.”

“I can respect that,” Fury says. He spins around to start pacing, heading away from you, before turning around and coming halfway back to stop and look at you. “I am not asking you to do anything you wouldn’t already feel comfortable doing.”

“That is such a line,” you blurt out, twisting your hands in your lap. “What if I tell you I��m not comfortable holding this conversation, or knowing the things you’ve already told me?”

“That is manifestly obvious. It’s also what makes you perfect for the thing I’m asking you to do.”

“What are you asking me to do?” you demand, the words coming out in a choked gasp. You’re so out of your element you can barely breathe, and the worst part is, Fury’s instincts are spot on. You feel a sense of responsibility, not just to Natasha, but to Stark. He's the sort of person who shows up in the news as often for a dazzling tech breakthrough as for a catastrophic break-up... or a kidnapping.

“Be yourself. In the process, give Tony Stark someone intriguing to focus on. Someone who isn’t his CEO. Think of it as helping him diversify.”

“If I called you a pimp right now, would you throw me out?” you ask, standing up and squaring your shoulders. You’ve always lashed out when cornered.

Fury laughs. “Stop trying to chew off your own leg and learn to adapt to the shackle. For all we know, this could just be for tonight.”

Until that moment, it hadn’t even occurred to you that it wouldn’t just be for tonight. You watch as Nick Fury casually checks his watch.

“Guests are starting to arrive. I’ve ordered a driver for you. The make and model of the car along with your attire should be enough to get you admitted, and if not, Agent Romanoff will. It’s been a pleasure.”

He holds his hand out to shake yours for the first time that night, and when you take it, your own is shaking.

“Chill. It’s not an assassination,” Fury tells you, squeezing your hand before letting go.

“Like you’d tell me it was at Employee Orientation anyway,” you grumble.

His laughter follows you out the door, where you find a sleek black car that’s probably worth just about as much as your salary for a year.

“Out of the frying pan and down the rabbit hole, I guess,” you sigh, opening the door and climbing inside.

To be continued...

Cat is kind of egged on out of her comfort zone in this chapter, thanks to Natasha's influence and her sense of duty-- but she can't keep up that intensity forever!

[tetsunabouquet]

What are the strong points of the gom + kagami in bed? And you'd you think would be the overall most skilled and worst at pleasuring their s/o?

GOM + Kagami - Strong points and overall score (With overall score, I mean how good or bad they are in bed and considering they're implied to be completely straight I will be writing with a female s/o in mind) Aomine Daiki

Strong Point: Breast-play, but what else do we expect? Overall Score: 2/10 -I like smutty Aomine fics as much as the next person, but as I implied in my NSFW headcanon, my personal interpretation is that he very much would suck, especially in his early years of fooling around beause of how porn ruined his brain. He's lazy, has the worst romantic skillset after Kagami and he's a very much sex-driven teen boy. If my own experience at secondary school taught me anything, its that the most sex-driven teenage boys usually make the worst partners in bed as they're too busy gratifying themselves then care if their partner is also having a good time. He definitely needs a lot of practise before he actually blows your mind. Kagami Taiga Strong Point: Pressing your most sensitive points just right. Kagami's attention points aren't going to be about your curves, but your entire body. He's like a shy kid who wants to very much explore his newest toy and discovers your body passionately but gently. Overall score: 4/10 -Kagami is way less lazy and self-centered as I imagine Aomine to be, but his lack of romantic skills is seriously dragging down his score. Kagami also needs to practise, but needs to work on his game rather then how he fucks you. Kise Ryota Strong Point: How eager he is to make you feel as good as he does. -Kise is a guy who does wants his significant other to be an equal to him in many ways, including the bed. If there are times he's more selfish? He'll make it up to you by spoiling you some other time. Overall Score: 6.5/10 -Kise is definitely a great lover, if you're his significant other. He'll care less about how you feel if you're just a hook-up to him, and will treat those much like a pump & dump. Murasakibara Atsushi Strong Point: Pussy eating, as we all can expect from this glutton. Overall Score: 5.5/10 -Murasakibara is quite lazy, and prefers his partner to be the dominant one most of the time. So it's actualy very hard to judge just how good he is considering you're the one doing the riding all the time. Midorima Shintaro Strong Point: A master at the holy trinity of clitorii. Now, according to this sex theory piece I once read, women actually have three clits. A physical one that is aroused by the touch. A mental one that is aroused by dominance. The third one is one of the heart, and is aroused by safety and trust. Stimulate all three and you have the jackpot of orgasms. An expert with his fingers who's dominating yet has a very reliable and emotional side deep down? Midorima has that shit down to a T. Overall Score: 8/10 -Midorima's pussy play should NEVER be underestimated, and it will only get worse if he's older and retires to the medical field after his basketball glory days. His increasened knowledge of female anatomy and chemicals that could arouse will only elevate his skill to divine levels. Akashi Seijuro Strong Point: More like strong points. He will have his awkward stage at first when he starts fooling around, but once he's a little experience, Akashi will be absolute per usual. Overall Score: 9/10 -Akashi's awkward green boy stage, as well as the possibility of his Emperor persona someday resurfacing all over again when his mental health goes down the drain (and let's be honest there will be moments were Emperor Akashi will take it a little too far), makes me detract a point.

[thatblondeperson]

Do you have your own ranking of Tim and Stephanie's suits?

Sure, I'll give 'em scores out of 10.

Starting with Tim:

The Classic: 10/10. Who doesn't love the original? It was a brand new take on Robin and it stood out and still does to this day given that it's the one most seen on merchandise. This suit became the default in a way, and for good reason. It's simple, functional, and timeless. Great suit.

The "my best friend is dead" Robin suit: 7/10. I don't hate it, it's just not as good as the original. The more simplistic and darker color scheme is indicative of not just Tim's meaning for the colors, but the decline in a lot of his optimism. This was the start of his downward spiral and he never really came back from this era. It's a good suit, I wouldn't call it great. She's basic (affectionate).

Red Robin (the 2009 run): 9/10. I would put this at a perfect 10 if he didn't have the stupid cowl. I hate that thing, and the only saving grace for it is the fact that it could have been there to cover his burn scars. Swap that for the Unternet mask and it would be my fav.

See?

(^Original art by Marcus To, recolored and posted on Reddit)

Unternet Red Robin: 10/10. Ok this one is so cute because it shows just how much Tim still looks up to Dick. This is basically a rebranded Nightwing suit, complete with finger stripes, and it's adorable. This is what Tim envisioned himself as in the Unternet and is that not just precious? And I love this dorky mask. It's got a giant bird beak and it's so stupid that it's endearing as hell.

Swan Queen Red Robin: 2/10. Not sorry, I hate this suit. I don't know what it's trying to be but it's a mess. There's too much going on and it needs to be simplified. I hate the tiny logo on his chest.

This stupid shit: 0/10. What the fuck is this?

The Rebirth Robin suit: 10/10. This suit is spectacular. Plays on the original but modernizes it in a way that still feels like Tim. I love this suit, it is exactly the kind of look I would want for Tim in this day and age as Robin.

Drake: 0/10. Burn it. I don't think anything needs to be said. We all agree, yes? Good.

Not going to speak on the video game suits but just know that I hate all of those too.

Moving on to Steph:

The Classic: 10/10. It's campy, it's colorful, I love it. She made this herself and I think that makes it even better. It's such a classic look for the time and I think it's wonderful. Look at that giant shoulder strap. What is that for? No one knows. It went through a few variations over the years. The shoulder strap got smaller but so dud the outward facing underwear and they gave her basically a thong. Not cool, DC.

Stephanie's homemade Robin suit: 2/10. This is just pure over sexualization and I hate it. Why does it have to be a loose crop top? Why is it so tight?

Stephie the Hedgehog: 9/10. This one is also way too boob heavy but I like the overall look better. The skirt is still debatable as far as movability goes, but the hair is so great that I'm just going to ignore the flaws, silently dock it a point and move on.

Spoiler 2.0: 8/10. It's a good suit. This is the one I based my cosplay off of. It's simplistic but it still has the essence of the original with those ridiculous boots and gloves. I still love this, I just like the original better.

Katavi: ?/10. I don't know how to comment on this design. I love that Stephanie just wanted to help and took up a new persona in a new place to do so. I think the design is lovely but I can't speak on whether it's as appropriate worn by a white character. I think character wise, it makers sense for Stephanie, but I don't know what to say about it past that.

Batgirl (the 2009 run): 10/10. I'm skipping past the borrowed suit since this suit is specifically Steph's, and it's perfection. It's classic but with the touch of purple to make it hers. It's simple, but it's great. I'd love to have this suit someday.

Nightwing: 10/10. This is a great suit that we were robbed of. I would love this look more with Stephanie's short bob that she had for a while, but this look is so great.

The New52 suit: 10/10. This may come as a shock considering my distaste for the Ew52, but I actually really love this Spoiler suit. It's a great mix of some of the elements of her classic Spoiler suit, heavily mixed with her Batgirl 2009 look, and modernized in a way that feels very Steph. It's scrappy looking, idk. I just like it. I really love the half mask on it too.

Future's End: 6/10. I feel like it's missing a lot. It's drab.

Future State: 0/10. This is Rose Wilson.

The Batgirls suit: 7/10. This is just the Rebirth look with a purple bat slapped on. Lazy. I still like the look, but I wish they did something new.

There we go! Best I can do on this anon, I hope you enjoyed!

[arcplaysgames]

Oh yeah, coming home to fucking NOTHING sucks. God, that fucking blows. It's so quiet. If you check the fridge it's just like "It hasn't changed." We are in the holding pattern portion of the game, like P3P after Ryoji's ultimatum.

god does every persona game do this bit, the simulacrum of despair?

Killing time until the next story beat, there's been some mumblings around town that honestly reminds me of Apathy Syndrome from P3P? Like the higher density of shadows is making people mean and not wanting to do anything. It's definitely not something I wanted the reminder of now.

AIN'T NOTHING MORE DEPRESSING THAN TENDING TO THE VEGGIES ALONE. Like oh my god I'm kind of surprised Reverie's pals don't start coming over? I guess, out of universe, this is a chance for the player to wrap up and grind SLinks they haven't had time to focus on, but in universe, it's baffling that, like, Yukiko and Yosuke and Teddie aren't trying to show up every night and coming up with excuses to bring dinner.

Speaking of neglected social links.

DEVIL SOCIAL LINK: GET. which i only got bc i needed just a little Courage boost to finally fucking unlock

FORTUNE SOCIAL LINK: GET. god the threshold for Naoto is ridiculous, not only is he locked to the late game BUT there's a massive Courage check needed to even spend any time with them. Bonkers.

Naoto, when I look at you, I hear "Modern Girls and Old-Fashioned Men" in my head, I don't want to hear any lip from you.

So far, Naoto's slink is about a break-in at the Shirogane Estate and their room getting robbed. Naoto tries to play it off because what's going on in Inaba is obviously more important, but also a master detective getting robbed is an insult to her pride too, and so there is an almost childish petulant desire to get revenge for the insult.

the what thief now

Next we'll meet a character called the Joker who kills people with rumors and the timelines will collapse.

I am genuinely hoping this slink picks up a bit bc right now I don't have many strong opinions on it actually. SHRUG

Over in the Aeon Slink, which I am abusing the omikuji box to powerlevel, Marie is starting to remember stuff but as soon as she does it keeps slipping her mind again.

The bamboo comb keeps coming up, which sure is convenient since I haven't forgotten Edogawa's lecture on Izanagi and Izanami. I don't think Marie is Izanami, but she's tied into it all somehow.

I mean, logically, signs do point to her be Izanami. However, her arcana is the Aeon and that alone makes me feel like the figure who said "I'll kill 1000 every day" doesn't really fit. That dog don't hunt. However, I don't know which one does, so.

Marie's pretty fun. I like her agony over the failure to remember anything subsiding when she realizes she goes have memories, the ones she's making now. Renewed hope and determination after an event of pure desolation seems to be the Aeon's modus operandi in both P4 and P3P. Or, that is my assumption, basically, as I'm not familiar with the card myself.

There is a whole fucking lot of nothing to do as I grind SLinks and wait for the next plot beat. I do like that P4 actually gives you opportunities to talk to the links you've maxed out rather than leaving them complete with nothing to add.

Also Yosuke, someday we gotta do drag again but take is seriously. You'd look amazing, I am completely certain.

also hey adachi hey remember when we were talking about Persona and you didn't know what that was, so hey I made you one special, just for you

i think it might help you cause like

it'll help you, like

learn how to give a shi--

[rivalsforlife]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I saw this going around a little while ago and wanted to do it myself mostly because it doesn't involve me having to answer about anything I did this year.

1. How many works do you have on A03?

20

2. What's your total A03 word count?

262,994, apparently

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Ace Attorney! I have to admit I've been writing persona 5 fanfic for most of this year but am still undecided on if I actually want to publish that. if I ever finish it.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

A Rose By Any Name (by a margin of like 1000 kudos), Deep Dark Secrets, Childswap, The Catch-Up Game, Love Languages.

I am eternally going to feel a bit bitter that the first one is that high.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to respond to them all the time because I love the interactions, but then I started getting burnt out by school and now have such a massive backlog..... so I pretty much never do these days. I'm very sorry and I still read and really appreciate all the comments I get!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't write a lot of angst... and I definitely don't have a tendency to leave things on an angsty note. Maybe Need Not to Need which was in early disbarment era, or Left Behind, Looking Ahead because it's a missing scene in the middle of aai2, and Franziska ends it on the conclusion that she should prepare to not have Edgeworth in her life anymore.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Since I don't write a lot of angsty endings most of them are happy lol. Maybe The Opposing Council's Proposal because it ends on a proposal, which is a pretty happy event.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! Everyone's been really nice.

9. Do you write smut?

Definitely not. It takes me like five minutes to work myself up to writing a kiss. I'm too squeamish about that kind of thing.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, and I feel like that's not something I'd be very good at doing. There's so much work involved and I haven't had any situations where I feel like characters from different franchises have to meet in order to express some aspect of characterization that they couldn't do otherwise, which would be my main motivation for writing one.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I'm aware.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!! Plenty of my fics have been translated into Chinese. I had one person write an entire rec list for my works in Chinese before and was so happy about it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, I feel like I wouldn't be good at this either, I've always been the kind of person who isn't good at playing with others and would want to take control of the whole thing lol.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Narumitsu without question. It takes a lot to get me to actively care about romance, much less write it.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a PLvsAA canon divergence fic where everyone stays brainwashed for a much longer time (and Edgeworth also gets brainwashed) that I wish I could finish, but I feel like it's a lost cause at this point. I have an earlier version of that fic which went in a completely different direction and is less than one chapter away from being complete. There's also One Good Narumitsu Story left in me that I've had in my head since 2018, never been able to bring myself to write it, and am not sure if I ever will. I hope I do someday, though.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think one of my favorite comments I've ever gotten talked about putting effort into developing relationships and characters outside of the main focuses of the fic - Catch-Up Game being an example, even though narumitsu is the focus, I spent some time paying attention to Phoenix's relationships with Trucy, Maya, Iris, and generally tried to make it seem like the characters had their own lives outside of what Phoenix and Edgeworth had going on. That's something I still feel pretty proud of and try to keep up when I can.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

DESCRIPTIONS. I can't describe people very well at all, probably at least partially because my facial recognition skills are atrocious. I can't describe locations or settings, either. I sometimes feel like it becomes far too obvious that I rarely leave the house.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it's fine on a one-off but not extensively. Like with Klavier as an example, the occasional Achtung or pet name or whatever is fine, but when it starts to be longer sentences or full conversations I draw the line.

Overall I think the best way to handle it (in a hypothetical conversation between Franziska and Edgeworth, depending on if the POV character is Edgeworth or Phoenix):

a) If the POV character speaks the language (like Edgeworth), doing something like "Franziska switched to German, so Phoenix couldn't overhear. "I am speaking in German, but you are reading it in English.""

b) If the POV character does not speak the language (like Phoenix), saying "Franziska switched to German and started yelling at Edgeworth" makes more sense - when I hear a foreign language, at least, I wouldn't be able to repeat it afterwards, because my brain does not process the words like it would English words, so I don't think it should stay in writing either.

There are practical purposes too: I wouldn't trust google translate to capture any nuance, and don't speak any other languages, so I'd want to find someone who knows the language to translate for me, which can be annoying and inconvenient for them. Also, readability. I don't think a reader should have to open up a new tab to understand your fic, is the point.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Warrior cats!! Way back in 2012 or so.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

The Catch-Up Game is still my favorite, at least partially because I got so much engagement while posting it that it was a lot of fun to go through comments on it. The narumitsu server talked about it a lot, and I'll forever be bitter that a rogue mod wiped those channels, because it's a really good feeling when something you write can inspire discussion like that. Also, I'm still satisfied with most aspects of that fic on its own - I reread a couple of chapters just the other day and was enjoying myself, which is always a win.

[lavendoodles]

✨Oui bonjour✨

Hi, hello. Please call me Lavender.

I'm a 20 year-old doodler with a fair amount of imagination but too much self-doubt to actually do or draw anything about it. I usually like to draw and play The Sims 4 on my potato laptop. When I feel like drawing myself/my persona, I give myself bunny ears, butterfly wings, and a giant frohawk.

As I'm writing these small introduction lines (12/28/2023), I believe that I'm doing awfully bad in terms of motivation and self-worth/esteem. I feel pessimistic towards my future and my art. I feel like burning every drawing I barely start and I only need myself to mock any idea I might have about my OCs or the universe I've been trying to build for years.

So, uh, what the heck am I even trying to accomplish here?

I think I've been building unnecessary pressure on my shoulders. So the goal here is to yeet that pressure out the window, because it's killing my joy to create, bit by bit. (I mean, I can't even relax when I play TS4 because I feel compelled to play the most perfect household with impeccable storytelling and arcs... and for what? talk about a useless perfectionnist.)

I'd like to be as transparent and as chill as possible with my art (and possibly myself), so I'll draw anything that comes to mind, without the pressure to make it look polished and ready on the first try. That's impossible and I need to take that false belief out of my head.

Expect WIPs, casual doodles, actually finished illustrations, and uuuuh maybe some random thoughts here and there, if I feel like it. I also have a giant list of things I'd like to draw or animate that's been sitting on my notes app for years now. I think I'll post it here so I can keep track of my progress on this blog, and so can you!

I think that's everything. Guess I'll see you soon!

Take care, and keep drawing.

(an example of a doodle I like, but I'm too scared to fail to replicate the same vibe in a polished drawing. But I'll make it someday, right?)

[eggs-can-draw]

5, 8, 9, 16, 17, 19, 21

Holy bees dude

5. Game(s) coming out that you're looking forward to

Raincode and Silksong are currently on my radar lol

8. A series you haven't played but are interested in trying

I’d really like to give The World Ends With You a try one day!

9. A game you played completely blind with no prior knowledge of and enjoyed/loved

Persona 5! That one like. Blew me out of the water lol, I played it a little before I tried out danganronpa

16. A game you'd like to replay that you haven't

World of Final Fantasy!!!! It’s like Pokémon meets final fantasy it is so so so cool even tho I pretty sure I’m one of three people who still thinks about it

17. A game you didn't finish but would like to get back to or restart someday

I may or may not have dropped Persona 5 partway through for danganronpa lmao. Definitely need to finish that lmao

19. A game you started up for the first time and you knew from the start it was going to be great

Kingdom Hearts 2’s prologue and introduction is literally legendary I knew that shit was good from the moment the game started

21. A boss that was disappointing

La Signora in Genshin,,,, I’m sorry they did NOT do her boss justice, the arena is way too small for the shit she dishes out, felt like a chore every week lmao

[darkrooklobby]

[✨Since i'll be keeping this blog now, here's some info about me, my likes, dislikes, fandoms, my personality, art techniques, and opinions✨]

General info:

-🍀Rook Lobby / DRL / " T " - ⚧️ They/Them - 🏳️‍🌈 Ace - 🗣️ I welcome criticism - ⚖️ Libra, INTP, True Neutral, phlegmatic

Tools I use:

Krita / Fountain Pen / Recycled Supplies / Acrylic / Mechanical Drafting Pentel / Ink / Watercolor / Photography / Whatever I get my hands on, occasionally.

Techniques:

I've used so many online tutorials in my lifetime, I can say with certainty that I'm self-taught, and that the internet helped tremendously. My art experiments are archived here.

I've only started receiving proper art classes in college... 😔

My Goals so far:

Create a portfolio! ⭐ I'm still a student, but I've taken commissions before & I've been accepted to colleges, although I need a job rn. I wish to one day become a video game artist or tattoo artist or illustrator or graphic designer. Anything that has to do with art, I'm eager to try!

My Concise Opinion on Art:

Art is a skill, not a talent. Talent, in my personal opinion, doesn't exist. What people call 'talent' doesn't get you far. Talent might be your liking of the subject - the rest is hard work.

People never see the 90% of the work we put in, attributing it to talent, which, again, doesn't do much for you!

Art is a method of visual communication, a universal language, if done properly. Art is an illusion, and goes against nature, since you try to trick the eyes to see & imagine something while looking at a 2D plane or at a 3D sculpture.

Art is short for "artificial" - but that word means "made & designed by humans". Humans are the only species on earth capable of recognizing "art", and that is what makes humans ... human.

My Fandoms:

[Tl;Dr] It's mostly video games... Although I'm known to like some anime / manga / manhwa occasionally + and older cartoons from my childhood.

fnaf 

fnac

wick

WTTG2 + Scrutinized

sonic games

BBIEAL

Layers of fear + dlc

CoF, AoM and Grey

Slender : the arrival

Genshin Impact

portal2

the crooked man - the RPG

tattletail

the girl's glass staircase

Identity V

Ib (RPG, 2012, didn't play 2022 yet)

Minecraft

Popgoes

scp

spooky's jumpscare mansion

SOMA

overwatch... 2...

Phoenix Wright TRILOGY ONLY

AAI1&2

Dai gyakuten saiban 1 & 2

NoxTimore 

Kraina Grzybów: The Apple Escape

EWTP

StanleyParable

The Quarry,

imscared (steamedition)

Mirror layers

dsaf

Danganronpa - fav executions: (After School Lesson, One-woman army, Strand of Agony)

dbh

persona 2 (Innocent sin + eternal punishment)

persona 5 ROYAL

Yume Nikki/Yume 2kki

.flow (dot flow)

Yakuza: Like A Dragon,

Little Hope

Witch's house

The theater - the indie horror

YTTD

Other Socials:

I've left Deviantart since they stole my artwork and sold it to AI. Greedy bastards 🫠

"X" is annoying to use

I have plans for uploading tutorials to Youtube someday

On ticktock I've only uploaded memes so far 😭

[mjrarcana]

⸻ 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

topaz. he/they. 25+. multi-fandom multi-muse. makoto yuki blog.

This is a sideblog connected to the two above blogs.

canon divergent: i only take the following things as canon:

persona 3 / fes / reload / anime (willing to interact with femc but i have never played p3p and do not know the dynamics. read a bit of the mangas. someday i might play it but there are things stopping me.) I mainly follow reload as i have just finished it. there are some things i vastly prefer in other versions of the story though so i can be a little choosy.

persona 4 / golden ( i have never played golden though i do want to. i haven't played persona 4 in over ten years so my memory isn't great on it. that is why i did not put any p4 muses until i do play it.)

persona 5 / royal. All my p5 muses are based on royal and I see it as more canon than the original. That being said, my Joker is called Akira Kurusu and he is MINE. I do not follow the anime as I did not enjoy their version of him.

Meta Rules:

I am a disabled person. I go through bouts of being unable to be active or social. I have been struggling with this my entire life. I could list the things I think are important to talk about but I really don't think I have to justify things. If you want to know I will tell you. It greatly effects my ability to be social at times and my amount of energy. Please respect this. I try not to just vanish, but it can happen. I will always try to communicate when this happens. All I ask is to be treated with empathy and respect. I can say when this acts up, I can be prone to not great behaviors. I have been manipulated and hurt during these episodes. The best thing for me in these situations is to give me space. I need to protect myself during these times. I need to be alone. I am reluctant to be open because of past experiences. I know I cannot act rationally and can make stupid choices. I can become snippy or traumadump. I can allow people to walk on my boundaries during these periods. I have been manipulated multiple times to do and share things I am not comfortable with. I get incredibly anxious or hyper. The anxiety can turn into downright paranoia which is why I cannot handle vagueblogging and stuff during those times. I am not making excuses. I am just letting everyone know that I sometimes need space. I need patience. I may still write. But I will not be able to speak much ooc. It is not personal. But sometimes I just struggle. It is a struggle a lot of the time.

I try my best to tag triggers, so if you need something tagged let me know. By default I tag a lot of stuff but I can always miss things. Feel free to request.

Sexism and racism will not be tolerated, you will be blocked. If you post anything transphobic, homophobic, or biphobic, I will block YOU

I can and will block if people make me uncomfortable.

I will never write incest. EVER. If you ship adult/minor ships or condone that stuff, do not interact.

If you constantly delete/move your blogs, I might be hesitant to interact with you.

I'm queer. I am genderfluid with a masc lean. Assigned female at birth. I have a zero tolerance policy about about hate toward lgbt+ people and misogyny. I will say something to you if it seems unintentionally done. But yeah.

I am incredibly uncomfortable around much of the following fandoms: final fantasy xvi , danganronpa, and baldur's gate 3. Still willing to follow or interact but I may be hesitant.

If you are friends with Jay/JJ or interact with him at all, do not interact. In face, just block me. If you want details, you can DM me. I literally still scan every blog to see if i get even a whiff of him.

This isn't really relevant to this blog but it still needs to be said: due to personal reasons I am no longer comfortable doing smut rps.

Interaction Rules

Asks can ALWAYS be replied to. Answers are always the best way to start threads with me.

All muses are crossover friendly and OC friendly.

Do not force me to ship or smut.

I'm mutuals only.

If you are a multi-muse and send an ask or like a starter call without specifying what muse you are sending from, I won't answer. If you do not say what muse you want from me, I will probably message you to ask. I might not actually answer it though.

Shipping/Mains Rules

If you are a main or ship partner, I need to be able to kinda talk to you ooc. I only will be mains with someone who speaks with me ooc.

Mains and affiliates get priority.

If you become mains or start shipping with me and then never reply or talk to me, I'll remove you from my list. Shipping or being mains should be the start and not the end. That status is not a trophy to be put on your shelf. Exceptions can obviously be made and I'm always okay with low activity or extended breaks. I just ask for communication when possible.

I will typically not be exclusive.

[circlecast]

How I Left the Victim Behind

In this part of the conversation, I, Brian, the host of the show called Relaxed Male, discuss the concept of victimhood and how I personally left behind the victim mindset. As a certified men's coach, I aim to help men remove the "nice guy" persona from their lives and live on their own terms. In this episode, I focus on the negative impact of adopting a victim mentality and how it affected me. I explain that despite experiencing certain events in my early life, such as my parents' divorce and moving with my dad, I refuse to label them as traumatic. Instead, I believe that my anger and grudges stemmed from my own thoughts and perspectives. I share an example of how I had a difficult time following instructions and even got a teacher fired because I stubbornly refused to do something she asked of me. Throughout my academic years, I would often blame others for my lack of success, such as my dad for not disciplining me or my teachers for not teaching me effectively.

However, I eventually realized that it was my own fault for not putting in the effort and taking responsibility for my actions. This pattern continued into my college years, where I blamed my roommate for not understanding my financial situation. But deep down, I knew that I needed to take control of my own life and stop playing the victim. It was only through this realization that I started to see the consequences of my lack of responsibility, such as being stuck in low-level jobs without any progression. As I became a parent and got married, I recognized that I needed to take responsibility not just for myself, but also for the direction of my family's life. 

 share how we would talk about our dreams, hopes, and aspirations as a family, but I never took the necessary actions to make them a reality. Eventually, I hit a midlife crisis at the age of 40, realizing I hadn't accomplished anything and missed out on opportunities like taking my kids camping. I learned the hard way that someday never comes and we need to approach life with intention, not playing the victim. Without direction, we're just floating and can't get anywhere. Playing the victim had also hindered my professional growth and nearly cost me my marriage. I started seeking intimacy elsewhere, which almost led to an affair.

Thankfully, my wife found out before it went too far. I realized that playing the victim only holds me back and prevents me from taking responsibility for my actions. Victims do not earn respect because they refuse to learn from their experiences. Once I stopped playing the victim, I began making progress and achieving more in life. I emphasize the importance of accepting responsibility for all actions, even when the results may seem unfair. Taking responsibility also applies to leadership roles, as it builds trust within a team.

I offer coaching to anyone who wants help in breaking free from the victim mindset. I mention a once-in-a-lifetime special where five people can receive six months of free coaching from me, but the spots are limited. Interested individuals can reach out to me through email or my website to sign up for coaching. I express gratitude to the listeners for tuning in and encourage them to ask questions or share the podcast/show with others. I let them know that I am open to having conversations and reaching out to others. I ask listeners to spread the message of Relaxed Male by sharing the podcast/show on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I emphasize that growth can only happen with the help of listeners sharing the content. In conclusion, I thank the listeners once again and wish them a great rest of the week.

If you would like to take me up on the special offer please email me bryan@relaxedmale.com

  00:00:00 Introduction to the topic of victimhood and leaving it behind 00:01:35 Welcoming new listeners and addressing their problems 00:03:00 Sharing personal experience of parental divorce and custody 00:04:14 Grudges and anger towards parents and stepparents 00:05:19 Taking responsibility for personal thoughts and actions 00:06:57 Recognizing patterns of avoiding responsibility and facing consequences 00:09:08 Carrying victim mentality into college life and financial struggles 00:10:39 Realization of Lack of Responsibility and Stagnation 00:19:32 Breaking Free from the Victim Mindset 00:22:33 Embracing Leadership and Leaving Victimhood Behind

Newest podcast episode to change your Mindset

[crashtestdummy1003]

This is a shit ton of venting, pls scroll past (literally just need to yell this into the void)

I'm not afraid of meeting people. That was never an issue.

I'm afraid of them meeting me. I'm afraid they'll start to know things about me, my interests, my hobbies. And I'm afraid it won't be good enough. What if they just pretend to be okay with me?

I know I'm kind of annoying. And a little cringey. But thats fine, I've embraced the cringe and annoying parts of myself. But when I have to tell someone about something I really, genuinely care about, I always play it down. They can't know that I'm super invested in it because then they'll be able to ruin it for me.

I'm thinking about making a fursuit? No, I'm just a fan of the creativity.

I want to make animation my career someday? No, its just a hobby.

I have comfort characters that literally mean everything to me? No, I just like their designs.

Its worse with feelings. None of my friends know how much I don't tell them. Because if I do ill be that one person in the chat that brings the mood down, ill be the person that makes everything about them. The one that takes everything to heart.

I am so afraid of being myself that I genuinely don't know where the persona my friends see ends, and where the real me begins. I'm kind of terrified that maybe, I'm doing all of this for nothing. These things might not even matter to me on the future.

Even something stupid, (like my posts that are kind of down bad about fictional men, heh) whenever I share it with my friends I immedeitly regret it. I know when they say "Crash, nooo..." they're just joking, but hearing any kind of negative feedback makes my heart feel like somebody is squeezing it until it bursts.

I haven't had anything postive said towards me in a while. I don't want to fish for compliments from my friends, but id like them to notice things about me. My outfit, or my makeup, or even my fucking work. I try so hard with my schoolwork, with my hobbies, things that nobody even notices because I feel like if I go harder, if I do the best I can and outdo everyone else, then somebody will finally notice me. Somebody will say, "Hey, Crash, good job! You did well with that specific thing!"

Figure skating, swim team, drawing, academics, cleaning, work, I just want to be good at SOMETHING. But I feel the harder I try the more I get looked over. Now people only notice when I slip up, but when will they notice me working myself to death to try and stay at the top?

I want to cry, but if I cry then its not going to help anything, is it? I just want to go home, but I really don't know where that is. I am home right now, but I can't even feel safe with my feelings here. I live with people that make it impossible to feel anything without guilt seeping in.

I don't think im okay

And I'm scared. I'm so scared. I'm not even an adult yet, but I'm almost there. I'm so scared.

I want something, but I don't know what it is.

I want to cosplay, go to furry conventions and wear a fursuit!! I want to post my art and have it be seen!! I want to be HAPPY with myself for fucking once. I want to be able to take criticism without CRYING. I want to not feel guilty when I take space from my friends. I want my friends to treat me the way I can never ask them to.

I want more friends. I only have like 3 that would consider me friends back. Everyone else is too cool, too nice, too functional. Trying to talk to them is overwhelming. I WANT to, but if I say anything its never good enough. They don't say it, but I can feel it. And it hurts. I'm not good enough for them.

I want to be normal, I want to be nuerotypical and not be hylerfixated on FNAF and Mario and my own ocs.

I want to be able to clean my room and keep it that way, to be motivated.

I want to practice my craft and learn about myself as a pagan.

I want my parents to show me they love me

They say it, but i don't ever see them show it.

I want a hug.

I want to go home. I want somewhere to call home. My house is my home, but sometimes I don't feel safe. Its not abusive, my parents and siblings never hit me, its not abusive. But I don't feel like I can have my own emotions. I feel guilty. Everyone else is going through something, I'm just getting through highschool.

I'm so scared. I don't think im okay. And I don't know how to fix it. Can I fix it? Am i stuck? Im terrified that im going to feel lile this forever.

Im not suicidal and ive never hurt myself, but id do anything to make this stop. I want to stop existing for a bit. Not die, im scared of dying, but i just.. want to observe. Not feel anything. But i feel SO MUCH and i want it OUT of me. I just want it out and gone. I feel like im full of some kind of liquid, like im going to overflow. Heavy. My mouth is full of sand and my eyes and holding back gallons of emotions. My body is restless but i csnt get evough sleep for it.

I dont wsnt to say i hate myself. But i dont know how else to phrase it.

I dont know how to end this. I doubt anyone's read this far besides myself. Im not posting this for pity, or fame or whatever the fuck. I just CANNOT hold this in anymore. I really cant. Only one person whos ever known me irl follows me here, and he probably wont read this far. He probably wont read this at all, which is fine. Thats why the dni tag is here. I just want this post to drift through time, forever. I'll come back to it eventually, maybe

Or maybe ill delete it.

I feel a little better. Not much in the grande scheme of things, but i feel good enough to sleep, or at least rest without crying.

Goodnight, I guess. Im tired.

[sedatedusk]

Antikosm

I have the possibility to make my entire internet persona into a satire commentary about the digital era.

Hyenas have always been fascinating to me and as I get older, they feel more and more like a power animal - something I strive to learn from. They're frequently labeled as tricksters, but the whole point of a trickster is to both be mischievous and just have fun, but also to teach that you can't believe everything you're told or that you come across. Not everyone has your best interest in mind and not everyone is inherently good, just as not everyone is inherently bad.

Rascalidrex is sort of the trickster of WLX and since I was already planning on doing drag and stuff with them before I needed to take a massive step back out of the field of performance, if I do it all digitally, with contacts and sunglasses to avoid eye contact (for obvious reasons), then I'll be far more in my element and I'd still be able to get my message across.

The late-night streams and gameplays and all that would obviously be either me being me or me setting an example that it's okay to not be the 'conventional form of human'. Whether that's disorder, disability, humour, fascination, any and all of it.

I'd end up being the odd one out of WLX, sure, but that's sort of the whole point to begin with. I brought this together, yes, but that does not mean everyone's intentions with the stories are aligned. Some of us are just there for fun. Others are there to make a statement.

Especially since I want to go by Faust as an online alias (since I use that name when I have to emotionally be strong, it absolutely makes sense - to me at least - for that name to be associated with the tough love lessons aspect of it).

Started writing this while dizzy and I'm still dizzy and nauseous but yeah it'd be cool if someday I was able to come back to this post and use this with the unmasking video or something.

Also on the note of unmasking, using Detroit: Become Human as a parallel would probably help to translate things for the audience. Especially if it's to the point where people are confused why I like it so much, why I talk about it to the point that I do, etc. but I refuse to actually play it or can't watch any playthroughs of other people, regardless of if they're comfort creators or if I'm okay with the content that's listed under the trigger warnings.

[ur-fav-hates-dsmp]

while i wait i might as well do one of mod 2s favorites for this

chie satonaka from persona HATES the dsmp and will knock them down!!

[theunconcernedembalmer]

So I know you like reading in your spare time, which is a great pastime, but do you like any handcrafts? Like knitting, embroidery, crocheting, ect.

I don’t really do handicrafts then, I guess.

[fruitcoops]

Night Changes

This isn't based on an ask, but I've had some early-Cap ideas brewing and think about the first time the team heard him laugh a lot. His and James' friendship is so sweet in SW--the beginning of it must have been such a shock to them both. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

So maybe James had bitten off more than he could chew. It wasn’t the first time, to be sure, but coaxing (read: drag kicking and screaming) his new teammate out of the carefully-constructed mosaic of scowls that made up his entire personality was proving to be a little more challenging than he previously expected. With most rookies, all it took was some elbow grease and overenthusiastic inclusion in group events to get them to open up—with his brand-new soon-to-be best friend, he had to handle things a little more delicately.

Sirius Black was a puzzle wrapped up in one of those freaky code-breaking machines from World War Two Lily liked to talk about. He was one of the best hockey players James had ever seen, but off the ice he seemed to shut down. The intense focus on his face smoothed out into almost perfect neutrality, and in the four months since he joined the Lions, he had never once smiled for real in front of the team. He sat in his stall and padded up in silence, then went out and kicked ass before following Pascal home like a living shadow.

Naturally, James took it as a personal mission to pry Sirius Black’s closed-off persona open like a stubborn oyster. He tried including Sirius in group events—the rookie went along with a quiet “yeah, sure”, but sat at the table and nursed a single drink for the entire night. He tried getting into friendly banter with him on the ice, but it was like Sirius had never joked with anyone in his life. Hell, he even tried finding him a girlfriend, which tanked harder than the goddamn Titanic.

“Rookie!” James shouted down the hallway.

Sirius jumped and turned around, obviously confused. “Me?”

“Yes, you,” James laughed, jogging over to toss an arm over his shoulders. “What’s up?”

“Not much.”

He waited for Sirius to continue, then rolled his eyes and gave him a friendly shake. “C’mon, man, how was your weekend? Has Dumo coerced you into being a stay-at-home babysitter yet?”

Sirius’ frown deepened. “What? I come with him to practice every day.”

Change tactics, change tactics— “Got any plans for Friday?”

James knew the answer, of course; it was always no or not yet or a simple shake of the head. If he was a less observant man, he would have assumed Sirius didn’t actually want to hang out with the team. But the longing looks toward their easy rhythm and the way he always tilted himself toward locker room conversations told a different story. “None yet,” Sirius said with a shrug.

James gave him a friendly slap on the back. “Good, ‘cause I’m having a party at my place and you’re not allowed to miss it.”

“Why not?”

“Because I want you to be there, duh.” The bewilderment didn’t fade from Sirius’ face, but beneath it—well, maybe James was just seeing things, but he looked almost hopeful. He ruffled Sirius’ hair and headed for the locker room. “Friday at five, rookie! I’ll be waiting!”

--

The week passed in a slog of practices and cold weather. Sirius clammed up more and more as the party drew closer, but James didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered between the rest of them like he was analyzing a play. He would make one hell of a captain someday, if he could just relax a little.

“Hey, rookie, want a ride?” he asked when the big day finally arrived.

“Don’t you want to go home and set up first?” Sirius’ brow furrowed. For an eighteen-year-old kid, he was awfully thoughtful. James couldn’t wait to see him let loose a little. “I wouldn’t want to get in your way.”

“It’s a yes or no question,” he teased, poking the bit of exposed shoulder through the widening hole in Sirius’ under armor.

“I…” He faltered, then the corner of his mouth twitched up. It was the closest thing James had seen to a smile from him yet. One point for Potter. “Sure, Pots. Thanks.”

“No problem. Meet me at my car in five or so, yeah?”

“D’accord.”

“Oho, fancy French,” James laughed, turning back to unlace his skates.

It wasn’t until thirty seconds after Sirius left the room that he remembered he never told the rookie what his car looked like. Horrible, terrible visions of the poor guy wandering around the parking lot—or, god forbid, thinking James had left without him—flashed through his mind. It would undo everything he had been working so hard to build.

“Shit,” he hissed under his breath as he shoved his gear into his duffel with reckless abandon and hurried out of the locker room. His legs would be stiff from trying to run so soon after a grueling drill practice, but it was worth it to save his friend. “Rookie? Hey, Sirius, you still here?”

There was no response. James cursed again and made a beeline for the door to the parking lot. Please, God, don’t let him get lost. I need him to trust me.

“Oh, thank fuck,” he panted as he burst out onto the half-frozen concrete.

Sirius looked up from his phone with a strange expression. “Are you okay?”

“Thought I lost you for a sec.”

“You said to meet at your car, yes?” He glanced between James and the car in sudden worry.

“Yeah, yes, absolutely, I just—” He made an aborted gesture and dug his keys out of his pocket. “I realized I forgot to tell you which one is mine.”

Sirius blinked at him. “I know what your car looks like.”

“How?”

“Because you drive it here every single day and you gave me a ride three weeks ago.”

‘Dumbass’ went unsaid, but James could feel it hanging in the air. He coughed lightly. “Right. Anyway, you can toss your bag wherever and hop in the passenger seat. My place isn’t far from here.”

Sirius took his duffel as he unlocked the car and settled both in the trunk with more care than James’ poor, battered bag had ever seen in its life. That was another thing that confused him about Sirius Black—he was so careful. He walked quietly for someone so tall, and each movement seemed pre-planned.

Each movement, that is, until he tried to get in the car. “Uh, Pots?”

“That’s m—oh.” James covered his mouth to stifle his laughter as Sirius tried to fold himself into the passenger seat and failed miserably. “I’m sorry, my girlfriend was sitting there last. Uh, there’s a lever on your right—yeah, there, just give it a pull and—”

With a harsh ka-chunk, the seat slid all the way back. Both men froze. It took everything in James’ power not to burst out laughing at the deer-in-headlights shock on Sirius’ face.

“Yep, that one,” he managed. “Nice job.”

They drove in relative quiet—James chattered on about weekend plans and hummed to the radio while Sirius watched out the window with the occasional monosyllable response. It took James a bit by surprise how comfortable he was, even without a steady stream of banter. Sirius might have been stubborn and silent and determined to foil all James’ plans at getting him to socialize, but he was calming to be near, like an anchor on unsteady water. Despite his overall quiet air, he was obviously paying attention to every word that left James’ mouth.

“You’re a good guy, y’know that?” he said as they turned onto his street. Sirius glanced over in surprise. “Most people tune me out within, like, five minutes.”

“I’m a good listener.”

James opened his mouth to respond, then paused. “Was that—Sirius Black, was that a joke?”

Something akin to mischief—mischief!—crossed his face. “Maybe.”

“Were you roasting me?” James gaped at him. “Oh my god. The guys are never gonna believe this.”

“Probably not.”

“You sick bastard. They won’t believe me.”

“You can give it a shot,” Sirius said with a shrug as the engine turned off. Pieces began to connect in James’ head as he stared, incredulous, at the rookie he thought would never even crack a smile. Four months of work had not been wasted, as he had feared; every joke, every one-sided conversation, and every attempt to get Sirius involved had been seen and heard and taken to heart. When he thought about it, he wasn’t sure he had ever seen Sirius actively agree to something unless James asked personally.

“We’re friends,” he said aloud, too surprised and too happy to hold it in. Not friends in the way James was with the rest of their loud, over-the-top teammates, but friends all the same.

“Well, yeah,” Sirius said as if it was obvious.

James unbuckled his seatbelt and socked him lightly on the shoulder, barely suppressing a shriek of excitement. “Love you, man. Grab your shit, we’ve got a party to set up.”

----------------

As much as it pained James to say it, having someone around who was six-foot-three was a huge help. There was no blow to his pride as he dragged Lily’s stepstool out; no grudging acceptance that he simply couldn’t reach those last two inches on the wall. Instead, he could foist any and all responsibility on his brand-new best friend in the whole wide world and focus on the things that mattered, like putting anything breakable or important far away from the grubby hands of his inebriated teammates.

His success was still ringing in his ears when the guests finally arrived—throughout the evening, James rode the high of accomplishing his mission to pull Sirius Black into his tight-knit circle. Every minute of those four months was worth it.

Midnight came and went, and by one-thirty in the morning James’ cramped living room was packed with tipsy hockey players in a vague imitation of a circle. “Non, non, I’ve gotta good one,” Dumo said, hiccupping. The room fell quiet as he leaned forward. “What do you call a body of water with a chicken in it?”

“What?” Kasey whispered, starry-eyed like a kid at Christmas.

“A swimming pool.”

The room stayed quiet, and then someone started to laugh. Slowly, they all turned to the source of the noise, and James felt a ripple of shock roll through the team as Sirius snorted. “It’s a swimming pool,” he said around a smile, his accent thick from three drinks. He had a nice laugh; James could get used to hearing it. “Like—poule, like chicken?”

His whole face was alight with happiness. James wasn’t sure whether to cry or cheer. That’s what I’ve been waiting for, he thought. That look, right there. Sirius fit in among the group like a missing piece of their puzzle, snickering away as if he hadn’t been stoically silent a day in his life. His laugh was downright bubbly.

“I don’t think they get it,” Dumo said into the rim of his cup.

Sirius shook his head, trying to catch his breath. “D’accord, so—so ‘chicken’ in French is poule, yeah? So a chicken in a body of water is a swimming poule. Do you get it now?”

A few oh’s of understanding washed over them, but several people continued to stare. “Too drink for this,” Sergei grumbled, though James could see the smile pulling at his mouth as Sirius turned to him with bright eyes.

“But it’s funny!” Sirius protested, so earnest it made James’ heart hurt.

“I think it’s funny, rookie,” he assured him with a clumsy pat on the arm. “And it’s my house, so I say Dumo gets a point this round.”

Kasey hiccupped. “Hey, anyone who makes the rookie laugh gets points in my book. No offense, dude.”

“None taken,” Sirius said, though his cheeks were pink.

James nudged him with his shoulder as Talker started a knock-knock joke. “It’s okay,” he said under his breath.

Sirius picked at the label on his cup. “I know I haven’t been very social,” he muttered.

“It’s okay,” James insisted. “It always takes rookies a while to warm up, so we’re just glad you’re happy. I’m glad my best friend is having a good time at my party.”

A heavy silence fell between them as Sirius looked over, eyebrows raised. “Best friend?”

“What, like you didn’t see this coming?” James slung an arm over his shoulder. “Yes, you French-Canadian nerd, you’re my best friend. And that means I’m your best friend, and there’s no take-backsies.”

“What the hell is a take-backsie?” Sirius laughed. “Did you make that up?”

James grinned. He had the feeling this was the beginning of an excellent friendship.