#i need you to understand that we have more examples of akutagawa being protective

[caffeinatedseri]

The Strength of Selfishness

Each character in BSD has a degree of selfishness or selflessness in themselves, but the way this concept is executed opens discussion on the nuance of “selfishness,” or specifically the flaws in believing selfishness is an inherently bad trait.

Atsushi

Atsushi fits the description of selflessness, but I’d argue that he’s actually more selfish than he thinks he is (keeping in mind that being selfish isn’t necessarily a bad thing).

Akutagawa points out how Atsushi will needlessly risk his life in order to protect others, which sounds like a pretty heroic act, but it comes with a cost. Atsushi isn’t invincible, especially at this point in the story when he hasn’t fully mastered his ability, but his insistence on protecting others puts him in constant danger.

At the end of the day, Atsushi would have a greater chance of surviving many of the dangerous situations he puts himself into if he was more selfish by protecting himself before others.

However, Atsushi is also somewhat selfish in his motivations for acting so virtuously. 

Once again, Akutagawa points out how Atsushi only acts this way because of his deeply rooted belief that he has to risk his life for someone else in order to give his life value. You could argue that Atsushi only saves others as an attempt to prove to himself that he’s worthy, an inherently selfish motive. If Atsushi actually died, he would be endangering the people he could save in the future.

Selfishness also includes self-centeredness. Particularly with Akutagawa, Atsushi’s tendency to focus solely on himself becomes especially noticeable. Atsushi constantly doubts himself and his strengths; he also ignores his privileges and the struggles of others, particularly when he can’t completely understand them — hence why he views Akutagawa so harshly but sees Kyouka and Lucy as people who need to be saved. 

Despite all of this, Atsushi still creates a positive impact in other people’s lives. His innately selfish motivation is what drives him to protect others, and he ultimately succeeds in doing that (case in point Kyouka and Lucy again). 

Akutagawa

Akutagawa is pretty similar to Atsushi in how his past led to his inevitably selfish motives, but his manifests in a different way. 

Akutagawa has to be selfish to protect himself, due to a mix of his past prior to joining the mafia and Dazai’s teachings that collectively reinforced the belief that if he’s weak, he can’t survive.

This results in Akutagawa taking other people’s lives, a direct contrast to how Atsushi saves others, in order to prove his worth as a strong individual that deserves to live. However, this sentiment narrowly crosses the line of hypocrisy when Akutagawa does the very same thing that he criticized Atsushi for: looking for value in his life through other people.

Akutagawa also unnecessarily risks his life in order to prove his strength, which is arguably more dangerous and selfish than what Atsushi does. 

When Akutagawa fights Hawthorne, he practically eggs on Hawthorne to kill him, or at the very least fight with the intent to kill. Akutagawa was also injured before entering this fight, so running away would’ve been all the more reasonable than continuing to fight.

Drawing another parallel to Atsushi, Akutagawa has that very same resolve of risking his life unnecessarily to prove his worth. 

It’s undeniable that Akutagawa has killed many people — which is arguably extremely selfish — and loss of life really isn’t something that I want to push as morally correct. However, I would like to push the idea of redemption: finding a way to escape this messy lifestyle. I sincerely doubt that the incessant cycle of killing is any good for Akutagawa, or that it’s the life that he wants to have. 

With Atsushi and Akutagawa, both of their character arcs will develop accordingly to this balance of selfishness and selflessness.

Ranpo

Ranpo is characterized in a slightly selfish way, but this mindset comes with good reason (relating to Ranpo’s past). 

When Atsushi was kidnapped, Ranpo places priority on protecting the agency. If he were to meddle with Atsushi’s problem, which was technically a personal issue, then the agency as an organization would be put at risk. This isn’t necessarily a “wrong” mindset, but it is self-centered.

Of course, this is one of many examples to showcase Ranpo’s arrogance, but his arrogance is actually a form of self-protection. 

“So his father knew, after all. He understood that Ranpo possessed an extraordinary gift. He knew his son had the special ability to observe, remember, and uncover the truth in the blink of an eye. That was why he sealed it away. He didn’t want Ranpo to go astray, to ever hurt others and make the world his enemy.  His father wanted Ranpo to learn virtue and what’s right just like any ordinary person until he had grown up with good judgment and knowledge.” —  LN 3, “The Untold Origins of the Detective Agency”

Before Ranpo met Fukuzawa, he was just a young, lost boy who didn’t recognize his extraordinary talents. His parents taught him to be modest to allow him to develop as a normal person, but he never truly understood who he was in comparison to other people because he was orphaned at a young age.

Thus, Ranpo had to embrace his superiority, in an albeit dramatic way, in order to accept the world and himself. If he believed that people weren’t as intelligent as him, then he wouldn’t have to hate himself for feeling like an outsider to a world he doesn’t understand. 

Similarly to Akutagawa, Ranpo’s selfishness isn’t born out of hatred or negligence for others, it’s simply a survivalist instinct. 

Dazai

Dazai’s case is a little trickier to define, but I feel that he’s changed a decent amount throughout the series. I’ve seen some people argue that Dazai only helps others because of Oda’s dying wish, which would make his motivations for doing so inherently selfish. This rings true for Dazai before becoming a part of the agency, but I’d say he’s changed a lot just from interacting with the other agency members.

Dazai’s shown to be capable of the selflessness that involves risking your life for others, but because he’s Dazai, he’s most likely never going to actually die (he has taken necessary precautions to make sure he doesn’t die like in Dead Apple). In this case, Dazai was willing to risk his life for intel from Fyodor, similar to how he got captured by the PM intentionally for intel on Atsushi.

What he says here is especially important: “Certainly, people are sinfully stupid. But what’s so wrong about that?” The Dazai that was once isolated from others, that lacked a sense of direction and purpose in life, has grown one step closer to finding that purpose.

It’s no secret that character to character relationships have a big impact on everyone in BSD, but it’s especially relevant for Dazai who’s growth comes from learning about human nature. He and Fyodor both share a level of super intelligence that ostracizes them from the rest of society, which consequently makes them incapable of understanding other people.

Dazai’s statement here just shows how he’s willing to look past people’s mistakes — yes, they may be sinful and/or stupid, but that’s just a part of human nature.

And in this case, he acts in a stupid way by risking his life for someone else. Yes, it may be stupid, but this selflessness is also a part of being human.

I’d also like to add that Dazai was somewhat selfish in leaving the PM so suddenly after Oda’s death. As an executive, he undoubtedly had some responsibilities to handle, and not to mention Chuuya who was dragged into the mafia because of him in the first place. However, leaving the mafia was ultimately better for his development, and you could argue that the PM is doing just fine with Mori remaining as the leader. Thus, Dazai is another example of how selfishness isn’t harmful in nature.

Mori

On the topic of Mori, he’s a character who outright acknowledges his selflessness as a necessity for the mafia’s advancement.

As I mentioned before, selflessness is a stereotypically heroic trait, but it’s flipped around in BSD. You see protagonists with greater selfish convictions than the antagonists, who live their life based on this idea of selflessness. 

Of course, just because Mori is an antagonist, this doesn’t mean that selflessness is an innately “evil” trait. In fact, this selflessness is how he grows his organization and gains respect from his subordinates. Mori’s selflessness is used for the benefit of everyone else in the PM (ignoring the obvious crimes that the mafia commits of course).

Oda

Oda is often seen as the role model example for a “good man,” in the world of BSD — which is true to a certain extent. We certainly know how he was selfless in a multitude of scenarios, from saving the orphans at the Dragon’s Head Conflict, to his resolve to not kill anyone, and his push for Dazai to leave the mafia. 

However, I’d like to discuss Oda’s selfishness. Oda was well-aware of Dazai’s issues during Dark Era, and he seemed like the only person who would understand Dazai at that level. Despite this, he still chose to die. 

“(Dazai) is just a child who’s too smart. Just a crying child who’s been left alone in the darkness, a world of nothingness far emptier than the world we can see.”

— LN 2, “Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era”

Oda is an idealist first and foremost; when reality fails to match his ideals, it becomes unbearable for him to continue living on. 

Oda was selfish in his conviction to die, because he knew he could’ve done more for Dazai, but he chose to leave him with a dying wish rather than staying with him to potentially fill that void of loneliness.

(I’d like to mention that Oda wasn’t wrong for his choice, because Dazai ended up on the right path in the end. It was simply an act of selfishness that ended for the better).

Kunikida

Kunikida is an idealist, much like Oda, but he also draws close to being a realist at certain moments.

Kunikida shares the same selfless resolve as Atsushi: to save everyone. His ideals seem unbreakable to the point where he would risk his life and succeed in the end no matter what, purely because he’s just that committed towards his goals.

This treads closely to Atsushi’s selfishness. In this case, for Kunikida, it’s somewhat a part of his self-fulfilling prophecy to make his ideals come true, but he acts selflessly because of these ideals that he believes in. 

An important thing to note here is Fyodor’s grin, because Fyodor — as an idealist — is well aware of the fact that the greater the ideals, the loftier these ideals become in reality. 

“By that very logic, then Miss Sasaki was not responsible for any of these recent events! She didn’t even want a world in which all criminals are rightly judged! She only— Tell me, Dazai! Was it right for her to die? Is this the ideal world I’ve sought for…”

— LN 1, “Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exam”

At the end of the Azure Messenger Arc, Kunikida realizes the flaws in his ideals when he fails to uphold them. By trying to save both Rokuzou and Sasaki, he ended up losing the both of them. No matter how hard he tried to save them, there was no possible way for him to achieve the level of “justice” that he desired.

This teaches an incredibly valuable lesson to Kunikida that shifts his mindset towards a more selfish direction.

Kunikida’s experience leads him to teach Atsushi, another person strongly motivated by ideals, to not follow the same path as him. You could interpret this as a sign of Kunikida’s declining resolve, but I prefer to view it as another form of self-preservation.

Kunikida very well understands the pain that comes from not meeting his ideals, which could easily affect to Atsushi considering how difficult it would be to save Kyouka.

The scene in which Kunikida goes to save Atsushi parallels what Kunikida told him previously: “Your boat can only carry one person. If you let someone beyond salvation come aboard, you will only drown together.”

Notice how Kunikida is in a boat with plenty of space, but out of fear that his ideals won’t be upheld, he’ll lower them to an lesser standard. Instead of trying to save two people, he settles for one, despite the fact that he has the capacity for two. 

This instance is a moment of selfishness from Kunikida, an act of self-preservation to prevent the inevitable pain that comes with unmet ideals. 

However, Atsushi subverts his expectations by pushing himself to save Kyouka regardless of his sinking boat, because Atsushi’s own ideals motivate him to do so. Kunikida teaches Atsushi to be careful with the balance of selfishness and selflessness; Atsushi teaches Kunikida the beauty in being selfless.

[along-came-atsushi]

Hellooooo! How do you think Dazatsu would happening ? I love this ship and even if that will never be canon… Well, we can dream, can't we ?

Hellooooo~ <3 Yeah I feel you. I love them, too, they are my OTP!

Me with my shipping glasses on: Dazatsu will definitely happen! How can it not? The signs are all THERE!

Me without my shipping glasses on: It will never happen. None of our gay ships will ever happen. And I know, you know, we all know the reason why. It’s all just fanservice and wishful thinking.

[Beware: Slight spoilers for the Hunting Dogs Arc!]

~ ~ ~

If you’re asking me from a personal POV: I am an avid fan of slow build-up when it comes to romance and shipping. I headcanon for my personal canon that Dazai and Atsushi are not a couple yet. But they are in the phase were they figure out that they have feelings for each other.

I think that Dazai realizes this pretty fast, since he has a good perception of how other people think and is able to interpret their intentions correctly. Which means, that he is able to analyze Atsushi’s personality in a very short time and estimate for himself, if he would like him or not. Despite his outer clownish behaviour, he is amazed by Atsushi when he saved him, especially considering the dire situation Atsushi is in. There are some tiny things I absolutely adore, where you can read that Dazai at least thinks that Atsushi is adorable.

(”You SAVED ME from my attempted suicide no. 16527? How DARE you!? But also: Do you like to wine and dine with me?” And look at his smug smile here, damn.)

In the anime, when he asks Atsushi what he wants to eat and Atsushi answers that he only wants chazuke, Dazai blinks surprised and then giggles. And I just !!!! Man, that giggle is like a: “Haha, so cute! :3″ giggle.

(Bitch, why you’re giggling like a teenage girl? No one understands right now - Kunikida, probably)

During the investigation for the white tiger Dazai learns a little bit about Atsushi, realizes that he had a harsh past, that Atsushi himself thinks he’s not worth living. And that made a deep impression, because: “Damn there was a time where I thought so about myself and I’m still struggling with it :/” and “I. Need. To. Protect. This. Boy.”

Which then leads to his infamous: “I’m not into hugging men”, because: “Haha, nope, I am NOT going to develop SUCH feelings! v.v”  And oh boy, does it look like straight out of a shoujo romance in the anime, when Dazai captures Atsushi in his arms:

(The new ghibli movie looks great!)

And Atsushi on the other hand is like: “Wow, this person is so nice, yet so weird at the same time! :) And this is actually the first time someone is N I C E to me! Who is he? What is he thinking? Wow, he’s so cool and confident, I wish that was me!”

(That is a totally heterosexual way to see someone, Atsushi. And Dazai, what is that soft look in your eyes, huh?)

And then when Atsushi has his entrance exam and he is willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of others, Dazai is genuinely surprised. And not many people are able to surprise Dazai, because he’s a schemer and thinks so far ahead.

That for me marks the moment where Dazai thinks: “Oh God, HE’S the one! *_* I want THAT ONE!” and “But that also means he’s WILLING to sacrifice himself for others! D: I need to protect him at all costs!” followed by: “I must suppress my selfish feelings, for everything I ever wanted and that is worth pursuing will be lost the moment I obtain it!”

I imagine that Dazai is constantly torn between his romantic feelings for Atsushi, which he T R I E S to cast aside and suppress, and the fact that you just can’t disconnect from your feelings like that. In the end they often get the upper hand of him.

Which results in him showing his affection in little and subtle things like: fooling around with Atsushi, trying to spend as much time as possible with him, secretly protecting him without everyone’s knowledge, just be there for him (even if that portrait of a father chapter was horribly written in general), very very very slowly opening up and showing a little bit of his true inner turmoil. And over the time this all gets stronger and he tries to honestly flirt with him, all under the disguise of clownery.

(And oh boy, THAT particular scene in 55 Minutes wasn’t even subtle anymore. I almost choked on my water).

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I think Atsushi takes longer to realize his feelings for Dazai. He is overwhelmed that there are people who genuinely care about his well-being. So, in the beginning, I imagine that he sees Dazai as someone to look up to, since he never had someone like that back in the orphanage. But the more time he spends with Dazai the more he realizes that he can’t ignore certain things: He sometimes can’t sleep at night, he catches himself blushing for some reason, he is sometimes nervous and tries to impress Dazai.

Atsushi: Wow, Dazai is really cool! I am so grateful that he helped me and I’m so amazed by him!

Atsushi’s Brain: Nah, bro, you’re just gay.

Atsushi: Haha, that... isn’t true. I mean, it’s true that he’s... very good looking. But someone like Dazai would never fall for someone like me. Not even if I was a woman...

Atsushi’s Brain: Bro, that’s really just gay.

Atsushi: It isn’t!

Atsushi’s Brain: And what about THAT dream you had last night?

Atsushi: THAT WAS JUST A FEVER DREAM I WAS REALLY TIRED AND CONCERNED OKAY?!

And then they get forcefully separated, because Dazai needs to go to prison. But their thoughts of each other and mental connection never disappears. Dazai slowly replaces the headmaster in Atsushi’s mind:

(I mean even ANGO realizes that there’s SOMETHING going on in Atsushi’s head. AND ALSO can we talk about how there is a HEART on the present Dazai is sitting?! Coincidence? That may be the case of course. But I don’t think so. In this essay I will).

And Dazai legit asks AKUTAGAWA (!!!) to protect Atsushi: “Hey, I’ll be going to prison soon due to personal reasons :) Can you please look after my future husband while I’m gone? Oh, and don’t you dare hit on him! >:| I know you’re slowly falling in love with him, too! EVERYONE IS! The competition is getting tiresome!!!”

So... yeah XD

.

I don’t think BSD’s storyline is even halfway through, and there are still a lot of things to come. There are so many possibilities what could happen, so I’m just getting along with the story as it is and patiently wait what will come next. For now, I hope that we’ll get a reunion hug between Dazai and Atsushi when he (finally) comes out of prison. Man, everyone of these characters could use a hug, tbh. I’m assuming when he comes back Atsushi may confront Dazai with some things (for example his treatment of Akutagawa in the past), and maybe Dazai will open up a little bit. But we don’t know.

Anyways, I’ve been in fandoms for many years now and have different OTPs, and never was I upset when my OTP did not become canon. I kinda always knew beforehand if there was a slight possibility or not, just rolled with it and enjoyed the ambiguous hints that were presented to us.

And of course, we can always dream and headcanon what we want. And then there is still the power of fanfics and fanarts ;D

[perhaps-blue]

Character cheat sheet

Alright so today I decided to rewatch bungou stray dogs cuz my writing is really lacking when it comes the all the characters. It feels like they’re more often than not out of character. So I wrote down notes on how they behave (and a lot of stray comments) and thought I’d share them in hopes that it might help someone else. Getting all these characters right is really hard after all. So, enjoy! And feel free to add/comment if you want to change something!

Here goes! Part 1/2 The Agency

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Atsushi

- very loud

- Lots of exclamation marks!

- Always looks worried, probably is as well

- Assume a lot

- There’s just so much panic in that small body

- Stutters

- Says stupid things to get out of something

- Not confident enough in his abilities

- Puts others above himself

- He needs to actually want to hurt someone or he doesn’t know how to fight

- Good instincts when it comes to fighting as well

- If this boy couldn’t regenerate he’d be dead by now

- Fighting spirit is much fueled by rage

- This naive little thing, stop believing everything people say

- Easily scared

- Jesus he’s gullible, stop listening to Dazai

- His will to protect others is admirable

- He can transform fully he just rarely does it

- Always sees good in people

- He is so done with everyone

- Uses San for almost everyone (as he should)

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Dazai

- Usually answer questions with questions

- Doesn’t correct assumptions

- Doesn’t make them himself

- Neutral/bored facial expression unless he’s teasing someone

- He actually is serious sometimes, actually pretty often

- Watashi

- Does go for some pretty long monologues when he explains things

- Actually listens to kunikidas orders

- Pain does in fact not bother him

- Watch him punch someone with a cheesy line

- He likes to tell the criminal how he figured it out or where they made a mistake

- Hands in pockets, always

- He shows surprise in his eyes

- Very mean when he has to, Akutagawa for example (see: my new subordinate is much better than you)

- Says Chuuya a lot, well people’s names in general

- All this pickpocketing

- I mean he can actually fight

- Also this jumping up from a laying position

- We already know he’s smart but Jesus, how do you write a character that’s smarter than yourself?

- He just sitting against the wall in a 90 degree angle so Chuuya can reach him, cute

- Does in fact not know everything, he does research to find what he needs

- He tells Oda about missions at lupin, lupin really must be mafia owned?

- “The biggest misfortune of Dazai’s enemies is that they are Dazai’s enemy”

- He did still joke a lot in the mafia, same lightheartedness as now.

- Does Dazai know it’s gonna end badly with oda? He wanted to take a picture to remember

- Uses a lot of fancy words even when young

- Carries a lock pick

- He guesses a lot and says he knew

- Dont feed him spicy food

- Fuzz up? I mean I know he curses in the manga but really?

- Basically never uses San (did he with Mori? Yes he does) Ane-San doesn’t count

- I’m happy that the mafia members are still scared of him, they know how ruthless he can be

- Does he have feelings?

- He really doesn’t predict everything, he’s just good at adapting

- He likes slapping people, you backhand that bitch, go dazai!

- Very flippant when he does something to help

- Red eeeeyeeees

- There’s no exceptions to his ability

- I wonder if he dislikes celebrations

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Kunikida

- gets angry easily

- Trusts Dazai when there’s need

- Much smarter than I give him credit for

- Super strong

- Acts on his feelings all the time

- Just.. ideals. I hadn’t realized how often he mentions them

- Very straightforward, he doesn’t say things in the nicest ways

- Shows his feelings on his face

- Calculating

- He’s proud of the younger ones but don’t show it

- Likes calling people idiots

- Can be really dense when it comes to normal things, as in not detective related shit

- Please stop listening to Dazai’s bullshit

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Kyouka

- serious

- So small and innocently cute

- Looks very cut off from reality, at least in the beginning

- She’s an assassin

- Seems like she just wants to try normal child things all the time, crepes for example.

- Maybe she missed out on growing up (like most others did)

- She’s killed 35 people

- The mafia scares her

- Is she scared of her ability? At least in the beginning

- She basically does anything others tell her

- So scared

- Doesn’t understand how normal people behave, just does as she’s learnt

- Strong independent woman (or 14 y/o)

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Yosano

- sadist

- Always ask if someone’s hurt and gets disappointed when they’re not

- Very nicely threatens people with dismemberment if they’re being a bitch

- Give them hell

- Doesn’t take anyone’s bullshit, if they’re wrong they’ll know

- Yes use that motor saw hon

- She relies on her ability a lot when she fights, though I’m sure she’s a good fighter nevertheless

- Threatens random people who are being unreasonable

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Ranpo

- very bored, always

- Does question the president when something is wrong

- He talks more than I actually thought, and it’s not always smart things, usually just rubbish

- Candy

- Very hyped when he gets to have fun

- And teaching Kyouka about candy yes

- “War is so boring” I agree Ranpo-San

- Doesn’t actually figure everything out at first glance, sometimes he asks or need clues

- Seems like he can figure people out in one glance though

- He does stupid things when he isn’t wearing his glasses, it’s a trap dear Ranpo

- Really he’s an idiot without them

- He believes in the glasses thing

- The president is the one who made his ability, sort of

- So he isn’t actually stupid without.. more like he believes he is

- The agency was created because of him

- “I’d look stupid if I turned out to be normal now” so he basically does know

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The Tanizakis

- she follows him everywhere

- His ability is so useful why don’t I ever write him?

- This sisterly love is... special

- He cares for her as much as she for him

- She shows everything on her face

- But she is very brave

- He is as well

- The brother is as old as Atsushi

- He worries most when she’s in danger

- “For Naomi I’d gladly burn the world”

- Well he can fly a plane

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President

- cares about everyone in the agency

- Appears out of nowhere

- My dude’s got a boat, probably have more than one safe house as well. Oh and a car. Imagine them owning a plane/helicopter. Note: they do in fact own a fighter plane

- Always knows what’s going on somehow

- Very fair in giving everyone a chance

- Looks pretty cold hearted

- Bet he’s got a thing for saving children as well (Odasaku would do great in the agency with him)

- Takes no bs

- How did Natsume get the permit for them?

- Op fighter, better than kunikida

- Puts it on others to explain plans

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Kenji

- he says such horrible things in such a nice way. (The person would be tied up and thrown off a cliff~)

- Really not aware how the world works

- Happy go lucky

- Doesn’t look at death with any feelings unlike Atsushi

- Knows everyone

- Doesn’t judge anyone based on looks or so

- How are people scared of him

- These people would do anything for him what

- Let’s smile and wave around a pole, it’ll only scare the living shit out of everyone

- Straight forward

- Takes everything at face value

- “If you are sincere you can communicate with people”

- He could take a few hits yes

- Many cows as well

- Lots of mentions of “back home things work this way”

- He actually goes to sleep after eating, thought he only lost his strength

- City folk really are amazing

[yokohamasonebraincell]

a detailed analysis of why akutagawa is best boy

aka i love my son more than life

my last post was really sloppily written because i was emotional but now i’ve put my thoughts together in a more cohesive way so here we go:

first, the most important thing to understand is every time he says people have no value unless they kill/use their ability to the utmost, he means himself as well. 

he does not see himself as a person. he sees himself as a tool. a dog. he literally says as much, more than once. people have always seen him as a dog even as a child. his lack of emotions (probably due to having no real way to deal with the trauma.... because he was a child) earned him a lot of fear. canon backstory states the adults around beat him until he couldn’t stand multiple times.

then he sees his friends killed. he feels hate for the first time. feels anything for the first. dazai, as a gift, kills the men who killed the kids akutagawa promised to protect. 

his entire existence has been pain, rage, and killing at this point. 

so is anyone surprised that he just can’t fucking see another way to be? that even with dazai trying to get him to use his ability in a different way, he doesn’t get it? because i will say that dazai meant well but his methods probably only fueled akutagawa’s beliefs that if you’re not strong, you have no value. it doesn’t make sense to us on the outside but it does to him.

that’s his mental state. that’s his belief and his opinion of himself. 

now, we see him treat atsushi and kyouka in the same way. 

he hates atsushi for being weak, for begging other people to give his life meaning. except! when atsushi says ‘don’t you see that people can only live if someone says it’s okay for them to?’ the running mental dialogue that akutagawa has is ‘of course i do’. because he’s hinged his entire existence on dazai seeing value in him. (the second emotion akutagawa ever felt in his life, in canon, is respect for dazai.)

hypocritical? absolutely. 

but he hates atsushi for the same things he’s done and felt so what does that tell us about how he feels about himself?

mmmhmmm.

hawthorne talks about humiliation and defeat. akutagawa says both of those have been his constant companions.

he says he hates atsushi because well....

atsushi has everything he wants. of course he hates him.

but that doesn’t stop akutagawa from pausing his attack when fitzgerald reveals the abuse that atsushi suffered. until that moment, he’s been solely focused on trying to attack tiger boy and then he just stops. he removes both of them from line of fitzgerald’s attacks and delivers the above speech. 

which, it’s not fair of him to want atsushi to just shake away all that abuse (and he knows it because he hasn’t either). but then...

this is exactly what atsushi needs to hear. yes, he calls him foolish, but it’s still what atsushi needed to hear. in the next few panels, we see tiger boy come to terms with this and shed that burden away. none of this was necessary. akutagawa didn’t need to encourage him in that weird, cold way he does but he still does it, whether he realizes it or not. (he does. i’ll get to that in a moment.)

let’s go to kyouka now. 

akutagawa says she has no value unless she’s killing, mirroring his personal opinion of himself. he tries to kill her, saying she’s worthless now that she’s taken up atsushi’s beliefs, wanting to live in the light. he thinks it’s foolish and hopeless. 

afterall, dazai pulled him out of the slums and look where he is now. in the mafia, the only place he feels like someone like him could be useful. so that’s the line he gives kyouka. he absolutely believes it. 

and the fact that he uses personal examples tells you all you need to know about his self-worth and how he views himself. like i said at the beginning, he’s a tool. a dog. when he says that weak people have no right to live, that they need to die to make way for those stronger, he’s including himself in that. 

it’s why he fights so desperately to be strong and to prove his worth to dazai. does he understand he doesn’t need to? no. it’s completely ingrained him.

but here’s the thing.

he says all this to kyouka. he believes it. akutagawa believes this with every fiber of his body, to the point that he drives himself into fights where he’s injured or knows he’s pushing himself too much, considering that he’s chronically ill. 

and yet when he meets back up with kyouka in cannibalism....

he tells her how he didn’t (doesn’t, absolutely doesn’t even if that’s not what he says) value his own life. he ran barefoot, after being beaten half to death, to avenge the kids that were murdered despite knowing he would die. akutagawa has run towards death before. he still does, we know this. and now kyouka knows it too.

he tells her that he’s been in her position before.

that once, his life was given value. 

at this moment, there’s no reason for him to say any of this to her. too much is at stake for both sides. they have to defeat each other, to save the leader of their respective organizations. but he tells her this anyway. 

and then.....

he’s glad for her.

it’s genuine. 

we know this because despite all the terrible things akutagawa has done, one of the few things we’ve never seen him do is lie about how he feels. those feelings might sometimes be hypocritical, sure, but he’s honest with them.

he leaves her. he doesn’t continue the fight. just like how he stopped when he learned of atsushi’s past abuse, he stops now when he realizes kyouka has found meaning, found a reason to live. (and ironically, that reason hinges on her being successful in her mission at the moment so... is he giving her a pass here? maybe.)

so what we know is this: 

he views himself as less of a person and more of a thing/dog to be used and given value

he hates tiger boy for many of the same things he has done or felt. he hates him because he managed to gain the one thing that akutagawa wants more than anything, the thing that his worth hangs on.

that a lot of the time, when he lashes out about things, those things mirror who he is or what he’s done. he not only thinks people need value, he doesn’t really believe he has much value himself. 

despite everything, though, he manages to be glad for kyouka. he tells atsushi the things he needs to hear. i said whether he realizes it or not but i believe he does. he knows the emotional impact of words. he knows it so fucking well. this kid is basically killing himself just to hear a few words of praise from the man he admires. 

akutagawa absolutely knows the importance of it. is it because he admires and respects dazai and so is trying to mirror what he wishes dazai would say to him? i don’t know but i think that it probably starts there, at least.

akutagawa is cold. he’s a ruthless killer. he truly believes that’s the only thing of value he offers.

and yet, in his weird, fucked up way, he tells the other two people most closely in a situation like his exactly what they need to hear. 

the saddest part of it all, is he can’t seem to do the same for himself. he can’t let go of his past like he tells atsushi to. he still believes that he is that person from back then. he sees kyouka escape her life of killing, sees her step into the light, and is happy for her but never once imagines he could do the same.

the trauma is too deep, the sense of self worth too fucked up, for him to see it even as he helps others see it. 

he’s not a good person. 

but in a story that’s a big part about redemption, he could be. 

[akutagawaprize]

No offence, but I feel as if in this chapter, the author got tired of this entire ark in general, as the entire situation was solved ridiculously fast. Now, I don't really understand Japanese, so this may not be accurate. But from what I see, both highly powerful opponents were ridiculously quickly subdued, and somehow Fitzgerald decided to side with the Mafia and the ADA for no reason. We didn't even get to know Fyodor's ability yet, and he's already defeated.

I, too, was disappointed in this chapter, but after collecting my thoughts, I decided that it wasn’t a bad way of ending this arc, if this indeed is the end. Sure it may have looked abrupt, but it could have been worse… Or so I like to tell myself.

(Warning: I try my best to be unbiased and objective but this may read like a lot of whining. Only proceed if you’re fine with that.)

The good:Akutagawa’s promise to Atsushi; appearance of the rest of ADA and Port Mafia; Fitzgerald saving the day; Ango and his crew appearing; that not-so-subtle nod to Odasaku in the end

The “I don’t have much of a good or a bad opinion on this”:Shin soukoku new combo move;  Chuuya still in the book

The bad:Quick resolution to the arc; implied lobotomy(!?); Dazai and his keikaku doori antics again; strange sense of déjà vu since they used practically same buildup as the last arc, but now it’s the remix version

First of all, I’ll just have to throw out my wildest (not really) theory out here: Fyodor is still the “final boss”. Come on, he gets the moniker “The Demon” and gets jailed off like that? No, no. It doesn’t make sense at all, at least to me. So my guess is that Agatha and the Order of the Clock Tower will swoop in to try and mess with the Agency, but when they’re on the verge of defeat, Fyodor steps in and uses this chance to strike ADA for himself. So uh Guild Arc 2.0. Or something along those lines. This could’ve been a test drive. Or he could have other Rats in Russia waiting for orders in case there’s a Phase II. Call me optimistic, but that’s what I would like to believe.

We jailbreak from Azkaban and invade Ministry of Magic now.

There really isn’t much to say about Dazai proving himself a formidable chessmaster again, other than I called it on an earlier ask. I just hope I’m not the only one tired of him being right all the damn time. No one can be that all-seeing…

People keep asking about Chuuya. Some were disappointed he only had one panel, some were rejoicing because it was “in-character” he stayed because he enjoyed fighting. But Ranpo kinda confirmed Chuuya stayed not because he wanted to beat people, but because it’s faster that way than using his brains? He’s not dumb, but come on, why would he prolong his stay if at that time his current concern was to protect Mori/kill off Fukuzawa? So yeah, his fate doesn’t really interest me, because I’ve always thought he was someone who is too popular to die… Not important, because sheesh let’s face it, Asagiri hasn’t really fleshed him out yet and doesn’t seem to have the intention of wanting to anytime soon. (Light novel soon please? Or a backstory in the movie if they wanna get dat yen lmao)

I’m more curious about how Ranpo got out, because the last time Poe trapped him, he was transported back with Yosano after solving the case. Was there some unwritten rule that a person can be selective with who he brings back with him? I hope we get clarifications on this, I’m a sucker when it comes to analyzing abilities and their corresponding limits and restrictions. It bugs me that in BSD there are a lot of additions and contradictions when it comes to abilities and that they come up only when it’s convenient to the plot. (For example, anyone can activate Doppo Poetry as long as they have a page with them. I don’t think it’s been mentioned before, but anyway it bothered me for some reason.)

Another big thing this chapter: Akutagawa’s promise to Atsushi. I got an ask talking specifically about this, so I’ll write a post about that later. For now, I can just say that it’s probably the best thing that’s happened to Akutagawa after the “You got stronger” shoulder pat. I’m not expecting him to turn over a new leaf, now full of hope and vigor for life, but he’s trying and he might come up with his own concluson to an unanswered question in his heart: “What is my life worth living for?”

Oh and Atsushi being able to rip out abilities… Imagine if Wolverine can No Longer Human enemies… I don’t like this at all, but what can you do, he’s the protagonist anyway so he gets a pass.So for now I’ll be bumping Atsushi to No. 2 of the most powerful known Ability users second only to Lovecraft. Granted, he had to team up with Akutagawa to come up with this Ultimate Dark Claw thing, but still. I guess I just like balance. In any case, one can argue that shin soukoku needs to grow stronger if they want to fend off the coming Europeans.

Food for thought: If Dazai can nullify abilities and Atsushi can also cancel out abilities with tiger claws, will they cause a singularity if they got into a serious fight?

Hmm.

Fitzgerald! He didn’t care about Fyodor getting his leftover assets actually, but remember, it was Fyodor who crashed Moby Dick. He also reasoned that while he has no interest in whatever he’s “left” behind, he didn’t want a rat using his leftover resources. In short, he did it to spite the Russian. So while I can respect that, I was still hoping that instead of Dazai coming up with the deal (how did he even know Fitz acquired Eyes of God?), it would be Katai who would call this to attention. After all, as someone who is knowledgeable about technology and electronics, he could have picked up information on Eckleburg. Of course, there’s a fair bit of chance that he heard about it from Ranpo or Atsushi (they were there when Alcott asked for help) but there was no explanation for how Dazai came to that knowledge. Ah. Well.

I mean, until now we don’t know how Natsume saved Katai.

Dazai then went on to say that Fitzgerald will declare war on them again so this + the yacht are the last friendly gestures they’re going to get from the Guild. Wonder what happens to Lucy and Poe now…

They totally could have asked for a Special Ability Permit in exchange for their services but okay Richard!

The victory afterparty. Kunikida and Katai were nowhere to be seen, so was Yosano. You know who else we haven’t seen? Hawthorne and Katsura. With Katsura, he could have been helped by Kunikida… who I believe is still mourning the deaths of the innocent children… They should really address that next chapter. Or whatever. As for our Winter Soldier, he’s either roaming around aimlessly or he was captured. Who knows? We don’t know how he got mind-controlled either (another Rat? or suffered a similar fate with Ivan…). But if his goal was to heal Mitchell, then Yosano is the perfect answer.

What else? Oh! Fuku wasn’t in the party too right? Meeting up with Natsume and Mori? I don’t know…  As you can see, I come up with various scenarios and get them wrong 75% of the time. I was being dramatic too over Elise even though I knew she’d come back, but… This was fast. Glad to see her again though!

Oops. I rambled enough. Those were my thoughts, more or less. As I’ve said, it was a fairly standard BSD chapter. Disappointing, but still has a lot of loose ends which can be neatly tied up in upcoming chapters. I know a lot of people liked how this chapter ended, but… I’m not one of them, I’m afraid. I hope to be more enthusiastic about future chapters.

[marlikesthings]

I am quite surprised with this new chapter. I don't know what I expected, but it definitely wasn't this. But, I am actually glad we got to know more about mori and fukuzawa's past!!

As always Hirotsu seems to understand the boss better than most. I really liked that. First of all because I like his character, so his appearance is always welcome, but also because for me, this redeemed his last appearance. I mean his fight with tanizaki wasn’t good. He didn't take smart decisions (I mean he should have known tanizaki's ability. As someone who worked in the mafia for so long you would expect him to be smarter, and underestimating tanizaki (and the ADA) was everything but smart). Here we can see that calm and rational thinking hirotsu that I personally enjoy seeing. He managed to calm down higuchi who was desperate and calling everyone to find out where the boss was, thus creating (in this case) unnecessary 'chaos'. Mori said later that coming with his subordinates would only “result in another fight between organizations”. That being the case he wouldn't want to be found (not like the mafia would be able to find him anyway). Hirotsu understood that and stopped the research.

There are many things to say about mori-fukuzawa fight/interaction, but I don't really know how to analyze these characters... One thing that surprised me in this chapter was that mori is trying (in his own bizarre way) to 'protect' yokohama. He is definitely not good. He IS the boss of the mafia, so although he may like the city that doesn't justify everything he has done. He messed up with odasaku and planned for probably years, dazai leaving the mafia. Was it because he was scared that dazai would eventually take his position? Did he do it because he need to stay as a leader in order for the 'tripartite tactic' to work? Or was it because of another reason? It is too early to say, but at least now we know he had a 'valid' reason to stay as leader of port mafia and it wasn't only because he supposedly cares about his men.

I don't really understand his character... he knows the mafia will be uncontrollable and will create more chaos, but isn't the mafia already creating trouble? If the ADA and port mafia were supposed to work together to protect the city (in their own respective times) then why is it that the mafia is always provoking the ADA? Let's not forget that the black lizard attacked from time to time the agency, and that akutagawa is always searching for a fight with atsushi. As the leader he could have stopped this, but he didn't. Well, I guess that's what makes him an interesting opponent/character... which brings me to my next point. I think it's interesting how natsume sensei had to appear in order to stop mori and fukuzawa's fight. As much as I enjoyed his appearance, I cannot help but think it's kind of disappointing (in my opinion) how mori and fukuzawa were doing, in a way, exactly what fyodor wanted. Yes, they were trying to avoid having their organizations fight and maybe destroy yokohama, but they still tried to kill each other. So although fyodor wouldn't have been able to have both organizations destroy each other, he would still have 'won' because one of the leaders would be dead. If the ADA lost fukuzawa they would become useless, specially since this was fukuzawa's choice. I mean, he went to fight mori even if he knew there was the possibility to die. I don't know, in this case, if they will want revenge or would just be too depressed because the president had to wake up and protect them himself. Even at the cost of his own life, just to stop them from fighting the mafia, and put themselves in danger. In the case of the mafia, well, mori explained it perfectly so I don't need to add anything more. It seems like port mafia can't work without mori at it's head.

I am not as surprised by fukuzawa since there is already a novel which talks about his past (and ranpo but that's not the point here). Basically, him being an assassin who worked for the government isn't anything new. I did not expect the manga to show his past though. So in that sense, yes, I was surprised. I really liked his nickname "silver wolf"! It sounds so cool. I admire fukuzawa because he decided to change his life and help others instead of following the same path as, for example, mori. Fukuzawa got used to kill people, (he isn't shocked by mori's actions nor does he seems to care that he just killed more than twenty people) but he realized that was wrong and created the detective agency (meeting ranpo was really good for him).

What is natsume sensei planning? He is after all the mastermind behind all three organizations (ADA, port mafia and the secret services). He is also the cat that was always in the bar were buraiha trio used to meet. And, thanks to haruno and naomi we know that each time he disappears bad things happen/conflicts are solved. Why is he going so far to protect yokohama? He knows everything, he is said to be the strongest ability user, and he is smart. He seems to be worse than dazai (I have some doubts about him since he likes to keep secrets and he predicted fyodor's appearances but still) and mori who like to plan everything ahead. It's like everything is going exactly as he expected. He also had katai find out about fyodor's hideout. I am really curious about his character, and I hope we will see more of him! Though I guess he is making things easier for both the ADA and port mafia by helping them. It would have been nice if they both could defeat fyodor without him intervening but I guess fyodor was too much for them. Hopefully when agatha appears they will be able to redeem themselves. I want to see the members of both organizations take the lead and find a solution by themselves or at least start thinking more rationally. I am still waiting to see how shin soukoku will save the day and defeat fyodor.

Anyway I am glad we got to see more of these two. They are the ones who lead their organizations, so it seems only natural to discover more about them. After all, they are important characters. They just don't get enough spotlight. I am really looking forward how the story will develop!